#addiction mention

[teaboot]

I can't go into detail, but an old buddy of mine got hooked on some bad shit and wound up homeless with a pretty solid criminal record. I'm a security guard now, and he just showed up in the area as a BOLO.

Last time we saw each other was bad, but I want to get him a few necessities together and a heads up that my client knows his face so he doesn't steal here and get nailed.

I'm ded grabbing Cliff bars, a water bottle, and socks. Not sure if I'll be able to track him down in time for fresh fruit or produce, but back when I was floor camping I really missed those so I'll try to find something that'll keep.

Anyone with experience have any ideas for unexpected useful things? He's a clever fucker, can build almost anything if needed, so I'm aiming for multipurpose or multifunctional. (Can't afford much myself).

List so far:

Cliff bars (used to prefer those over other granola)

Reusable water bottle

Socks (I have some big wool ones at home)

Wet wipes (not many public showers here)

What are some other things he many not be able to get himself? I can put everything in a ziplock freezer bag and hide it in my backpack till I get a lead

Advice appreciated, thank you

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for headmates who have regressed or “gotten worse!”

Life in a system and in general can often be very challenging. It can be painful or disheartening to see yourself or your system member regress or lose progress after making strides to improve. But regressing happens to everyone from time to time, and should not be an indicator of self-worth in any way! So here’s to all the headmates out there who have gotten worse recently, whatever that looks like for them!

🎶 Shoutout to headmates who have recently lost skills or forgot how to do things that they used to do daily!

🍂 Shoutout to headmates who are no longer able to perform the duties associated with their system role!

🌹 Shoutout to autistic systems with headmates who have recently experienced autistic regression!

🍊 Shoutout to headmates who have backslid in their recovery or relapsed in their struggles with addiction!

🌻 Shoutout to headmates who have regressed due to being traumatized or retraumatized!

☘️ Shoutout to headmates who have recently gotten worse with no real reason or discernible cause!

🦋 Shoutout to headmates who have begun to struggle more with emotional regulation or processing and getting along with the other members of their system!

🍇 Shoutout to headmates who have regressed gradually, and to those whose regression was a sharp and sudden decline!

🌸 Shoutout to headmates whose symptoms of mental or physical illness and/or disabilities have recently gotten more severe!

🕊 Shoutout to headmates whose abilities to communicate and interact with the rest of their system has recently declined!

Friends, even if you’ve recently regressed, backslid, or gotten worse in any way, you are still worthy of love and respect just the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with regressing, and it’s a more common experience for everyone than you may think! Backsliding doesn’t mean you’ll always be going backwards. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable of making positive progress in the future.

If you’re a headmate who has recently gotten worse in any way, please know that we care about you and we truly hope that things get better for you very soon. Your life still has value and you are still an important member of your system and the plural community just the way you are! Know that we’re rooting for you and wishing you the very best in all that you do. Thanks so much for reading, and take care!

[quasi-normalcy]

So I'm thinking about Better Call Saul and what occurs to me is...Jimmy is an addict. Of course he is.

Like, why does he keep grifting people even when it's clearly counterproductive to his interests? Because he's addicted to it! The game, the strategy, the danger, the thrill of outsmarting your opponent; it's like gambling. And Chuck's efforts to make him change his ways by introducing consequences don't help at all because they just make the game more exciting. A gambling addict doesn't stop gambling because he loses, the losses just entice him to gamble more.

There's that bit at the end of Season 1 where Jimmy went back to Cicero and fell back into his old ways and it's literally filmed in a "drinking binge" style montage. And tell me that Kim's arc across the series isn't just her getting addicted to it, too.

I can't believe this took me six seasons to figure out.

[muppet-facts]

Muppet Fact #1080

Sandy, a lavender anything Muppet, is addicted to candy.

Source:

Sesame Street. Episode 4013. March 20, 2002.

[angeart]

[Ari au] Before and After - The Downfall

Ari AU in three stages:

at the height of fame

hounded by paparazzi after things started falling apart (featuring bodyguard Scar)

and the leaked, private photo of Grian taking his meds that got twisted by press into an addiction storyline

for @xoxo-ren-xoxo <3

[cistematicchaos]

I need to see more anti-ableism narratives from people fighting for reproductive rights. Too often, you see people talking about how abortions are necessary so parents aren't "burdened" with disabled children or insinuating all mentally ill people who need reproductive rights need abortions because they're "not fit" to raise children. Especially women struggling with addiction.

It's so exhausting to see disabled folks thrown under the bus in an attempt to raise up pro-abortion sentiment as if it's not easier enough to not throw us under the bus.

Like, fuck that. Focus on bodily autonomy, focus on misogyny, focus on the ableism within the "pro life" narrative and fight the ableism within your own. You can only strengthen your message by clearing it of bigotry (distractions) and making it more clear who your accomplices and allies are.

[dead-salmon]

in regards to the discourse i saw (mostly on twitter):

look i'm sorry to tell you, but jiaoqiu's spice deal is an allegory for addiction and self harm. it's a stupid choice for sure, but it's made so fucking obvious that the people denying it are even more stupid. if you don't think so,here's just a recap and explanation of his character story, since apparently hyv stating it obviously as hell isn't enough

just to recap:

->jiaoqiu is a depressed war medic, this depressive state is constantly mentioned. he left practicing medicine behind because of a "broken heart". the reason why he became feixiao's healer is because she could possibly "heal his despondent heart" in turn

->his sense of taste numbed over time while his depression kept growing stronger (fun fact, spice isn't considered a taste)

->he follows the idea of "food is medicine" ("using the joy of food to alleviate the painof ailments" is literally written in his character story part 1)

->his depression of losing patients grows so strong he "has no tears to shed" anymore

->eating very spicy food (emptied every spice he had into the food, described as a "sensation bordering on pain") made him "feel alive for the first time"

->in his first character story he enjoys the refreshing taste of floating heart plants, lotus flowers and rice shoots. after he started eating spicy food to feel alive, he complains that those very same plants now taste "too bland"

->he keeps increasing the amount of spicyness in his dishes to amounts no one else can take. his foods and medicine now only are "very spicy" and "insanely spicy"

->his final character story confirms he preferred bland foods before

so to summarise: he liked bland foods before joining the army as a healer. he follows the ethic of using food to alleviate pains. his depression numbs his sense of taste to the extent that only the pain of spice makes him feel alive anymore. his foods only consist of extreme spice levels now

is using spice as allegory for self harm a smart idea? no, but it's still the case here. he only eats spicy foods which started with his depression, all to feel alive

y'all sound just as stupid as hoyoverse when saying that that's not what they were going for

[s1mpl3sp0ng3]

as a recovering addict the way the walten files portrays felix's battle with alcoholism is so 👌👌👌

felix is not a bad person because he's an addict, he's a bad person because he's a coward, a liar, and his disastrous attempts to cover up what he's done. the alcohol impairs him and is killing him slowly, but ultimately his choices are his.

the message i get from twf is not that mental illness and addiction make you a bad person, but sometimes people who are hurting turn to bad coping mechanisms and end up hurting everyone around them. and it's up to them to do the work to change, but felix is such a coward and his self loathing is so deep, he can't bring himself to. so he digs the hole deeper. and as someone recovering from a substance use problem this means a lot to me

[magpod-confessions]

cw// mentions of abuse, addiction, and brief mention of suicidal ideation

the way the magnus archives explores themes of abuse and manipulation is one of its strongest apsects especially in regards to elias and jon

i feel like the fandom doesn’t really take the abuse/grooming aspect seriously when it comes to jon, which is a shame because i think its executed really well…one of the reasons i love jon so much as a character is because a lot about his story can be so real and applicable to real life situations ! i think he’s a good portrayal of how addiction can destroy someone’s relationships and how being an addict and a victim of abuse can affect someone because of the guilt, shame, and suicidality that comes with it

i also like how the show emphasizes how jon IS smart and emotionally intelligent and is capable of recognizing manipulation when its happening to other people, but still ends up falling victim to it in numerous ways without knowing because it can really happen to anyone

(i also think jon and elias’ dynamic could resemble parental abuse specifically but thats a whole other conversation)

these aspects of his character i think are done really well and i wish it was more analyzed in the fandom

.

[jaybirbie]

Imagine, just picture it! Try not to cry.

JonDami idea! MusicianDamian! Damian sings Heather (by Conan Gray) about his feelings for Jon and a girl. Posts it online anonymously, and it blows up.

And add extra heartbreak on top of that! Damian has to watch Jon dance with "Heather" to the song he made at a Gala.

Could let Damian have his heartbreak moment and then have a total glow up and pull a Skater boy.

Or!

MoreAngst! Some music people offer Damian a deal, and he takes it cause he's heartbroken and kinda depressed. So he becomes a famous performer(under mask). Instead of a glow up,his mental health declines, and he falls into the toxic party scene and addiction.

(I heard the song Heather's by Conan Gray and JonDami brain rot took over)

[teaboot]

39+40 for the ask meme? love ur blog💛🌻💛

💛

39. YouTuber you've been obsessed with and why?

So I'm not really into YouTube Fandoms but I was looking for new music a while back and heard White Tee by Corpse on spotify, right? And I loved the sound but I could only find a few songs, and I was like- okay, is this a new band? Is it exclusive? Why can't I find more, right?

So I tried looking them up, but all I was finding were channel results for 'Corpse Husband', which I thought was a fan account or something, since the channel was full of Among Us clips and scary stories-

But THEN I clicked on one of the stories, and I recognized it from some channels I'd listened to back in college when I couldn't sleep! Which was CRAZY- and it turned out it was the same guy, he'd just split off and started making music too.

And after hearing him talk on the stories again, I couldn't tell if that was actually his voice or not but he sounded really cool, so I clicked on some click bait title like "corpse talks about his voice" and watched an interview he did where he talked about a lot of personal junk I'd experienced too

And I kinda felt like

Well if this guy is dealing with all this crap too, and he still seems like such a good person, maybe I'm a good person too?

Like. Maybe some of us just feel like shit. But we aren't? And maybe there's something good I can bring to the table

But yeah no I like his music still, new songs come out sometimes and I'll loop 'em while I'm cleaning or painting or walking home from work, and it's nice.

That's pretty much my only youtube fan/follow experience, tho.

40. Any bad habits?

Oh, lord. Probably a lot.

I bite my fingers too much, can't leave scabs alone, bite my lips- I have a permanent crease in my bottom lip where they got chapped and split too many times when I was a kid. Had a self-harm habit for over a decade but I've been good for the last two years or so.

I don't drink or smoke or anything like that, never had alcohol or pot before, but I fucking hate washing dishes and I will eat dinner directly off the stove to avoid doing more.

Also I fall asleep in the bathtub at least three times a month.

And if I can't fall asleep in bed I'll lay down all over my place until I find a spot that works.

Living room floor, under the kitchen table, on the couch, on the balcony, in the bathtub, under the desk, in the closet, and in the hallway have been good in the past. Under the bed was a favourite until I got stuck with a lower bed frame.

Oh, and I used to drink like 400-1000mg of caffeine a day but I've been off that since February

Thanks for the ask! ♡

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for systems who struggle with addiction and/or substance abuse!

Lots of systems may find that substance abuse or addiction is a part of their lives. Those of us with mental illness, neurodivergence, little access to a good support network, and few treatment options may turn to substance abuse as a way to cope, and subsequently become addicted. Regardless of your situation, all systems deserve love and respect, even those of us who struggle with addiction and/or substance abuse. This post is for those systems!

☀️ Shoutout to systems who have struggled with addiction for many years or decades!

☁️ Shoutout to systems who want to get help for their addiction, but are scared, nervous, or don’t know how!

🌈 Shoutout to systems with headmates who are addiction or substance abuse holders!

☀️ Shoutout to systems who are in recovery! We know it’s hard, but we believe in you and are rooting for you!

☁️ Shoutout to systems who have joined or want to join a step program or some other kind of recovery group!

🌈 Shoutout to systems who are addicted to something that is usually considered non-addictive!

☀️ Shoutout to systems who are not interested in or ready to stop or curb their substance abuse - you get to make your own decisions regarding your own recovery!

☁️ Shoutout to systems who are in therapy or otherwise are receiving treatment or care for their addiction!

🌈 Shoutout to systems with plurality or headmates that formed due to addiction or substance abuse!

☀️ Shoutout to systems with a familial history of addiction or substance abuse!

☁️ Shoutout to systems who are currently sober, are trying to maintain sobriety, and/or who keep track of how many days, weeks, or months they have been sober!

🌈 Shoutout to systems who have recently relapsed - relapsing does NOT invalidate your recovery journey in any way, shape, or form!

☀️ Shoutout to systems who are currently under the influence or who have abused a substance recently - your life still had value and you matter, no matter how inebriated you are!

Friends, we know how difficult, painful, confusing, and all-consuming it can be to struggle with addiction and substance abuse. Please know that you are not alone - we see you and we understand the challenges you’re facing! We care about you and we want to support and uplift you however we can. Your system has worth, your voices matter, and you still belong in our spaces just the way you are, no changes necessary!

We hope you can do your best to take it easy today. Please don’t judge yourself to harshly and try to show yourself and your system some kindness and compassion! Everyone’s relationship to substance abuse, addiction, sobriety, and recovery looks different. Know that it’s okay to take things one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. We love you and we are wishing you the very best in all that you do, whether or not you are sober or in recovery. Thank you so much for reading, and take care!

[tea-and-secrets]

Somehow I, a suicidal closeted Trans woman with a painkiller addiction am the most stable person of my entire family and goddammit I can't wait to see these cunts in hell

.

[borderline-culture-is]

Bpd culture is having people not seem to understand just how early your symptoms started. Like this disorder didn’t just appear one day, it was slowly built up from all the shit i went through as a kid. And because it developed when I was a kid obviously I was exhibiting symptoms as a kid. I never got a happy and innocent childhood. While my classmates were watching cartoons and eating cookies I was trying to hang myself with jump ropes and developing a masterbation addiction. -🧷

.

[paingoes]

Crash Out

Nimrod III

the gang goes on a bender

(Content: (ex) royal whumpee, whumper turned whumpee, sadistic whumper, immortal whumper, drugs, dissociation, amnesia, blood, guns, threat of dismemberment, actual dismemberment, psychological torture, addiction mention, fainting)

==========

“Do you have painkillers?” Lorelai picked at the bandages on her arm. Paris looked at her through the side of his eyes.

“…Obviously I have painkillers.”

He didn’t like them much. He didn’t like anything that felt like it was slowing him down, not before and especially not now. Still, he had a bit of everything stashed away in the compartments.

“I want them,” Lorelai said softly.

“Is it that bad?” There was some small worry in his voice. Johanna had nicked him too, in many different places, but it hadn’t felt like much at the time and it didn’t feel like much after. He guessed his own pain tolerance was a bit skewed. Still, he didn’t like the thought of her messing with them. “Take the aspirin first. Let me know how you feel after.”

She shrugged, pulling the pack out from the first aid kit. She chewed down on the chalky tablets so they’d absorb faster. Her phone went off. He noticed that it was a different phone from the one she had when they had first left — or at least a different case. This one had irregular pearls all over the back of it. She read off the notification.

“I want to go to Xcelcia’s Fair. We’re gonna fly over it tonight,” she hummed in a weary voice.

“I think you should go the fuck to sleep.” 

==========

“When did we get to the mall?” He blinked. She looked up at him in surprise, wearing different clothing than she had been the moment previous.

“Two hours ago?” she guessed. He could tell it was a guess.

“Did we sleep yet?” he asked.

“You blacked out? No. I don’t know. Were you blacked out that entire time?” Lorelai laughed a little. It did nothing to conceal the concern evident on her face.

“Why are we in a mall?” It was eerie. They had been living like vampires, only ever among the living in the dead of night. The bright sun coming in through the skylight gave everything an unreal quality.

“I needed new sneakers. And you said you wanted to come.”

“I don’t think I would say that.”

“I swore you did.”

Her eyes were bloodshot. He was starting to get freaked out. They carried on throughout the mall anyway, the sneakers having not yet been acquired. He sipped idly at the blue razz slushie that was already in his hand — he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have got that, either. Just carrying it made him feel like a dickhead. It tasted decent, though. The sugar helped. Water probably would’ve been better.

“Oh what the fuck.” He squinted as the aura hit him again. 

He looked up to see Johanna walking by on one of the upper balconies. As if she could sense his eyes on her, she spun around on her heel to look. Her initial reaction was instantaneous, so easy to miss, but it was surprise. Or at least the mockery of it. She hadn’t even been hunting. Just bad fucking luck.

“Your Highness!” She broke into a grin, yelling loud enough for everyone in a two block radius to hear. “We can’t keep meeting like this!”

Johanna leapt down from the balcony, the whole story. She did an — admittedly beautiful — tuck and roll to avoid absorbing the fall’s shock. Why bother? Even if she had broken her ankles, they’d heal in two seconds.  

Lorelai bolted just as soon as she’d heard the voice. He realized she didn’t have the gun on her, remembered he didn’t have his sword. Johanna had the damn sword; he’d left it in her chest. He took off too, not knowing where they were going. Lorelai seemed a little more there than he was. She might at least remember where the ship had been parked. 

Something exploded loudly. He dropped via trained reflex, tugging Lorelai down with him. It’d been the right call. Large pieces of shrapnel flew right over their heads. 

“What the hell?” Lorelai whined, stretching out the syllables, “Was that for us?”

Johanna limped forward, carrying the smell of smoke. A piece of pipe hung out of her shoulder. Her glistening blood coated her shirt.

“That one was for me, actually.” The smile she wore then was not the same one it had been a few moments ago.

Lorelai scrambled back to her feet, taking off again. Paris’s own curiosity slowed him. He looked in the direction of the explosion, the same direction Johanna had come from, but it was clear she hadn’t caused it. A few people circled behind her, prowling. They had guns. What the fuck kind of mall was this? They seemed to know her pretty well. She shot him a last look, seething, smirking. Saved by the bell. She turned to face them instead.

He knew if they shot her and missed, it’d go straight into him instead. That was just the kind of day he was having. He hurried himself out of their sightline. Another explosion went off. 

My name is Johanna, she had said so proudly the first time they met. Was he actually supposed to know what that meant? Someone with a lot of explosives did. He made it outside. Lorelai honked the ship’s horn, beckoning him over. He crawled into the passenger’s seat.

“What even was that? Right?” Lorelai wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like her.”

“I literally don’t know what the fuck is going on right now?” he said.

==============

But he was fighting her again. He’d just taken something, he didn’t remember what. It made him faster, made him hit harder, made him fucking terrified with such a deep sense of foreboding he was sure he was about to die. Not that Jo would let him. That obviously wasn’t what she wanted.

He knew he was kind of losing it. If he’d ever snapped like this in the field, he’d have already been pinned down and sedated. He wasn’t sure if that had ever happened or not — it seemed plausible, though when the thought entered his head there was no specific memory he could attach it too. He could not attach anything at all to Johanna. She wasn’t a girl. She wasn’t even a person. She was blight. She twisted all about him like she was made of air and smoke. He had trouble holding her at all. 

He had the sword again. She’d brought it back to him. She had meant to threaten him with it, but he’d managed to wrestle it out of her hands. In an act of manic desperation, he cut straight through the bone of her arm, severing the limb. He did not think much of it at the time. It was simply a thing you could do to a body, among many other things you could do to a body. Maybe he’d just been curious. Nothing else seemed to work.

==============

Again. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he knew he’d fucked this one up severely. Johanna’s freshly grown hand was curled up in a fist in his hair. The other twirled the knife. He recognized, distantly, that it was a collector’s item. He’d had one just like it. One of her knees was planted on his elbow, the other on his chest, one boot planted firmly on the wrist of his opposite arm. She gave the knife a little toss in the air, catching it deftly, taking her time. She placed the knife’s edge right by the skin of his shoulder and did not wait a second before slicing it open. He writhed. It didn’t do any good.

“Stop,” he said, “stop stop stop stop stop s”

It cut in half an inch below the surface. He could tell she had hit muscle. His arm twitched involuntarily even as it was held in place.

“top stop stop stop stop stop stop stop st”

Johanna laughed. She pulled the knife out before it could reach bone. He had never seen blood gush that way before. He thought it only did that in horror movies. She winked at him. Just kidding. She went back to spinning the blade between her fingers. It moved like she had it on a string.

“Did you even feel that?” She asked. “You didn’t, did you? Oh, I’ve got to try it again when you’re sober. That’s not fair.”

===========

He blinked. Back in the passenger seat. His arm was bandaged around the shoulder. Lorelai was covered in blood. None of it was her own.

“Thanks,” Paris said numbly, filling in the blanks.

“Don’t mention it.”

He looked out the window and into the vastness of space. He still couldn’t figure out what time it was. He reached into his pocket and was relieved to find his vape was still there. It was the only constant in his life.

“I think we should blow up her ship,” he suggested.

“How?”

“I don’t know. Don’t you know any bomb recipes? I thought you were a radical.”

“Not off the top of my head. Don’t you?”

“I should, right? Like, I swear I learned them at some point. I think I have legitimate fucking brain damage. I’m not even kidding.”

“No, I think that’s true. You’ve been hitting your head a lot.”

“I meant from the alcoholism, but yeah. Probably both.”

“Oh.” She frowned. 

It was the first time he’d ever called it that. He thought it was a bit unfair to scapegoat alcohol specifically, considering all the other shit he was putting into his body. But that was simply what came to mind first. He hit the vape.

“I’m going to pass out,” he informed her.

“You’ve been meaning to do that. You know-“

He did not hear the end of the sentence.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[fox-guardian]

sometimes i am reminded of strange comments i receive on my art and i am still baffled.

[ID: Tags reading "your alice looks like shes adicted to heroin and I love that" end ID]

like. no, people who are addicted to drugs shouldn't feel shame over their appearances, ofc. but also Why Would You Say This To Me.