#all my fics are

[goayda]

Happy Birthday, Izzy

Shameless fluffy fic, because the idea of the crew having a party for Izzy's bday wouldn't leave me alone.

(As usual, set some time after 2x07, Ed is happy being a fisherman somewhere and there was no Zheng fight and no Prince Ricky attack. As usual too, no warnings needed, just a happy time for everybody.)

----

Izzy had been trying to teach Stede again how to correctly read a nautical chart for the last hour (No, Bonnet, it’s not more exciting to simply follow the wind, that gets you wrecked!) when Lucius came in to tell him they needed his help on deck.

“Olu and Pete were trying to fix...  that thing you said, something about the rigging, right? But they’re stuck, I think,” he explained vaguely.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

Izzy stormed out of the captain’s cabin, muttering curses to himself. It wasn’t such a difficult task, he had thought the crew was finally getting the grasp on their jobs, especially Oluwande, but apparently he had been wrong.

When he reached the deck, though, instead of the mess he had been expecting he found himself in front of a very smug and very happy bunch of pirates that cheered loudly at him.

“Surpriiiise!” the whole crew shouted as one.

“Wha-what?”

“Happy birthday, Izzy!” Bonnet yelled behind him and then Izzy finally noticed the decorations.

There were fewer flowers than in the last big event on the Revenge, but there were many colorful decorations everywhere, beautiful paper lanterns ready to be lit when the sun would go down and were those parcels with ribbons on a table actually presents?

“How did you know?” Izzy asked, confused.

He hadn’t said anything about his birthday, in fact he hadn’t even remembered it was that day, except for a vague thought in the morning when he had checked the logs. Birthdays weren’t important for pirates or had never been before he had set foot on that crazy ship full of madmen.

“You told me once, but you were so drunk you probably don’t remember,” Frenchie said with a wink.

“We all agreed we should do something special for our first mate’s birthday this year,” Stede said, looking as excited as a child on Christmas morning. “We have a great party ready for you, Izzy! Ready, people?”

Izzy stood awkwardly while Stede and the crew sang Happy Birthday to him, willing his body not to blush, but probably failing. A birthday party. It was ridiculous, it was a waste and it was the most heartwarming thing that had happened to him in a long time.

The crew started giving him the presents right away and soon his hands were full and he was fighting to the keep himself from tearing up.

First Roach and Fang came up from the galley with snacks and pastries and a big lemon cake.

(I know these are your favorites, little man, I’ve seen you have seconds when you thought nobody was looking.

Yes, boss, and I know you like the little lemon cakes, we used to buy them on shore leave, remember?)

Then Pete and Lucius offered him a big package and Izzy unwrapped it to find a few bottles of good rum.

(I found them in the last raid and we saved them for your birthday, Izzy.

Yes, and I helped wrapping them, you know. It was quite difficult with my wooden finger and all…

You made a lovely bow with that ribbon, babe. It looked great.

Aaaww, thank you, babe.)

Wee John and Frenchie’s present was next, a beautiful dark-blue cloak with embroidered sparrows.

(For night watches, when it gets cold. I hope I got the measures right, Izzy, if not, you let me know and I’ll fix it.

Yeah, and I sewed the sparrows, Izzy. They’re good luck birds, you know? They’ll protect you from evil witches.)

Oluwande, Archie and Jim offered him a smaller package and Izzy found a set of very good quality daggers inside.

(I chose those myself, hombrecito, that’s very good steel. You could stab a thousand men with those!

Or not! Not right now I mean. But we thought you’d like them, Izzy. Happy birthday!

Yeah, I bet you could hide the smallest one somewhere in your unicorn leg and nobody would see it coming, man!)

The presents were very thoughtful and Izzy realized he had only managed to grumble a thank-you every time, but nobody seemed to care. The crew was having fun, laughing and eating while cheering at him to open the next present and when he thought that was the last one, Stede got closer slowly with his hands behind his back.

“Here, this is my present for you, Israel. I hope you like it,” Stede said almost casually, but his face showed how nervous he really was.

Stede offered him a big sword, wrapped with a green silk ribbon and Izzy stared at it open-mouthed. It was… pretty, but it was clearly an ornamental sword, made for show and not for fighting. The blade was too thin and too long and the guard was beautifully crafted, yes, with intertwined steel vines with thorns and leaves that created a sort of cage where your hand was supposed to go. It looked like wielding that sword in a real fight would cause more damage to your hand than any attack from your opponent.

Izzy looked at Stede’s expectant face and then took a deep breath.

“It’s beautiful, Captain, thank you very much. I’ll treasure it.”

There, he thought proudly, he didn’t say he would use it so he wasn’t technically lying.

Stede beamed at him, looking incredibly proud.

“Oh, I also bought you this,” he added then as he offered him a very small package. “Yours seems to be a bit worn-out and they’re always useful.”

A pair of leather gloves, just his size.

“I know you only use one, but well, better have the pair, I thought, just in case.”

“Thank you, Stede,” Izzy said softly.

There was a silence then, but it wasn’t awkward at all. It didn’t last long, though, because soon the crew was loudly demanding cake and the party continued, with cake, drinks and songs long until the moon was up in the sky. And Izzy enjoyed every single moment of it, even if he wasn’t going to admit it out loud. Not yet, at least.

XOX

[bamsara]

"youve already written that trope" yesss. i like it a lots. i will be writing it again. 1000 stories of the same trope over and over again for ten million years

[cemeterything]

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

[pocket-dragon]

Durge murder aura detected

[littlelightfish]

This... this is a whole different kind of psychic damage here. When nightmares got Marcille, we get to knew that her's biggest fear is outliving her friends. This isn't even canon probably, but look at this. This isn't a "I don't want my friends to die" kind of dream. This is a "I'm terrified of loosing my daughters, of something killing them, and being incapable of stopping it" kind of dream. It's so simple yet it explains perfectly the whole of chilchucks character. He loves, he cares, deeply. But he, or doesn't acknowledges, or doesn't know what to do with that knowledge.

Besides that. Someone had to wake him up after this. Imagine the devastation in this man after he wakes up. He just saw his three little babys murdered corpses (or maybe he saw them die, wich isn't better). He would possibly not talk about it, and that would worry the hell out of the party, because we'll, they see him all down and only one of them knows what he saw. Imagine being the one to pull him from that nightmare. Seeing this man, usually so composed, fuking staring with tears and terror in his eyes to the composes of what you can only assume are his daughters. It would be heartwrenching.

Idk, I love this man so much...

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[bicheetopuff]

I guess it’s this kids birthday so I’m gonna remind you what character development can do to a mf

He deserves to be happy

[sully-s]

Clark: Why do I always miss the gossip missions?

[thekaiserroll]

Hug

It's nearly impossible to have a quiet and peaceful day with the crew, like the strawhats. Nami is mostly used to the noise on Going Merry but one day she gets fed up with Zoro and Sanji arguing. Not only are they extremely loud, but they've also already broken way too many things during their fights.

She decides that If they want to act like brats, then she's going to treat them as such. So she makes them apologize and hug each other in silence for an hour. None of them are happy about this punishment, but Nami threatened to raise Zoro's debt, and Sanji couldn't say no to her. It could be worse.

It's awkward enough for them to not incite any fight for a long time and Nami is quite proud of herself. She knows it won't last forever but at least now she knows how to handle them. It inevitably happens again. And again. And again.

Much to her surprise, those fights became more and more frequent. And what's even weirder is that she could see the way both Zoro and Sanji occasionally glanced at her to make sure she was nearby. It's almost as if they wanted someone to make them hug each other. As if they needed an excuse.... these idiots.

Soon, they don't even need Nami's help. When they aren't busy training, cooking or fighting, they cuddle together. Sometimes Luffy or Chopper would join them, but most of the crew knew it was their time.

After two years spent separately, they became extremely clingy. It's no surprise when they start sleeping in the same bed. What is surprising is that despite them behaving like a lovey-dovey couple, those oblivious idiots are STILL unaware of each other's feelings.

[toffee-arts]

. Kingfisher Feathers by Anonymous I binge read this fic the whole afternoon and lets just say I am inlove 🥺♥ political drama + wangxian = heaven

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[noodles-and-tea]

Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans

[benevolenterrancy]

I absolutely love just how many time-travel fix-it fics there are in this fandom

[ironhoshi]

I love how even more unhinged this site gets when ao3 goes down. I hope you all survive.

[sirenetica]

Get a load of these dudes!

+ some silly romance-y stuff