#all the pain i should've saved i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps

[valyrfia]

rip lewis hamilton and nico rosberg you would've loved the album stick season by noah kahan

[echoofadream]

Your favorite patient...

Part 1

Summary: You are a hardworking doctor and you save a man's life. Wait, why is he coming back with all sorts of conditions? What do you mean he followed you home? He's begging to be your...what?

Contains: Obsessive behavior(yandere), stalking, mentions of masturbation, slight smut, dom!reader(gender is not specified), sub!male!yandere.

Imagine you work in a hospital. You're a workaholic doctor who simply loves treating people and helping them get healthier and better. You greet everyone with a smile and try to cheer up every person who comes in, despite their state. 

One day a young man is brought into the ER and you find out he had been in a horrible car accident. You don't waste any more time and treat his wounds and the next day he's already conscious and aware of everything happening around him. Yours is the first face he sees once awake.

The following days you visit him in his hospital room and ask him how he's feeling, the same honest and benevolent smile on your face. You can tell that he's exaggerating most of the time and that the pain he tells you he's experiencing is not as severe as he claims. So you do the only rational thing and discharge him.

Next week, he's back with another issue and he requests you specifically. An ear infection. It wasn't your area of expertise but you took a look and recommended him a qualified doctor. He left displeased.

One week later you saw him again. A stomach ache. It wasn't bad but he wouldn't have it. "You don't get it, doctor! It hurts!" he'd say and grab your wrist, putting it on his lower stomach. He wanted a set of tests. He was even willing to pay any sum of money! You actually ran the tests and he spent one night in the hospital. You should've paid more attention to the smile he had on his face when you came with his results. He wasn't pleased seeing a green line next to every word on the file, yet he understood the situation and left. "Thank you so much, doctor!" he said with a huge smile on his face. "I was so scared! What would I do without you?"

The following week he was in the ER again. Ibuprofen overdose. "I had a headache and didn't know what to do! Help me, doctor!" A part of you was starting to see a pattern, yet your overworked mind couldn't quite put the finger on the issue at hand. You treated him like any other patient. The same friendly smile on your face, the same soft tone of voice, the same tired eyes. You were busy saving lives everyday. This was your duty and you had to do it right. "Such a big heart you have, doctor!" the same adoration in his eyes when he says this as always. "You're amazing!" and you could've sworn you saw tiny hearts forming inside his dark pupils. You should drink less caffeine, really.

After a couple of days the man doesn't come into the ER. Yet you don't even notice his absence. You were so overworked, so tired! Poor you!

One random Thursday(a thoroughly planned day) you freeze when you step into your living room. A familiar person was sitting on your couch. You knew him from somewhere, but why was it so hard for you to remember?

"Hello, doctor!" he greets. The same smile, the same excited voice. And you recognized him. "Don't tell me you don't know who I am..." he started, a bit of disappointment making its way into his facial expression.

You were standing there, unable to move. What was your patient doing inside your house? How did he know where you lived? How did he get inside? Why did he get inside? Was he dange-

"You don't look too pleased to see me, doctor..." he says, a small frown on his face. He approaches you and you instinctively take a step back. "Don't be afraid. I'd never hurt you." his words were either as honest as they could be or he was one hell of a liar. The former sounded better. "You're good and kind and gentle. I'd never hurt you" he chuckled. That makes you make another step back.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, breathlessly.

"I'm here for you, isn't that obvious?"

It was very obvious but you were hoping he'd elaborate.

"You work so hard, doctor" he starts talking in a pitiful, saddened voice. "You work overtime almost everyday. You always come back home late. You don't even have time to cook and you always order takeaway. Then you sit in front of the TV with a glass of wine in your hand, drifting off with god knows what series in the background." He chuckles. "Well, I know actually.".

He takes another step towards you and you flinch. "I wanna make you feel good, doctor" he tells you, almost whimpering. "You work so hard...it's a pity you don't have a slave at home to take care of each and every one of your needs"

Did he just say slave?

"I've been following you ever since you saved my life, doctor. I owe you!". He puts a hand over his heart, trying to show you just how much he loves you. "I know everything you do. I know you barely have a social life, or a sleep schedule or time for yourself except for the moments when you lay on your back on the bed, your glass on the bedside table and you...touch yourself." He blushed at his own words. Meanwhile, you were going through the five stages of fear. If they didn't exist until now, well now they did.

"You don't have any time to clean this place either. I know, since I try not to cough when I lay under your bed and listen to your moans every night." A huge smile spreads across his face. "God, you're amazing..." .

Your hand goes to the pocket of your coat and, as soon as he sees you, his face darkens.

"Doctor...I told you I'm not here to hurt you" His tone held some sort of threat and that made you the more afraid. Your fingers wrap around your phone and you pull it out. He grabs your wrist, stopping you. "You're not gonna do that!" he screams. "You're gonna make me yours! You're gonna do it!".

The sound of your palm making contact with his cheek echoed in the room. He bends forward a little, covering his red cheek and whining softly. He looks at you with fear in his eyes, but you needed to be blind not to see the arousal that fear created. He drops to his knees, hands on his thighs, head lowered.

"I'm sorry, doctor!" he whines. "I shouldn't have yelled at you! Please forgive me! Please! Forgive me for being such a bad boy..." .

You look at him with a shocked expression. It was crystal clear that he was living inside his own world of make-believe in which you were the master and he was the slave. It was obvious he'd wanted it ever since he first saw you. And that he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

You smirk, all the previously felt fear having already vanished. After all, everything he said was right. You were exhausted and you needed someone to serve you. You deserved it, didn't you? Weren't you that god sent person who saved this poor boy's life? Why not give him what he wants? Why not...give yourself what you want?

"You followed me home" you start, your tone as assertive as you could make it. You could see his body shiver and that only made you keep going. "You broke into my house multiple times. You stalked me!"

A soft whimper escapes the man in front of you. He tries to lift his head, to look at you with those big pleading puppy eyes of his, to show you how very sorry he felt(not in the slightest) for doing all that. But when you snap at him he lowers his head again.

"You gave yourself medical conditions so that I could treat you! What kind of sick fuck does that?"

He moaned when he heard your degrading words, lifting his head and looking you straight in the eyes, a big smile on his face.

"I'm sick, doctor. I'm very sick..."

You laughed at his wordplay. "I think you've been a bad boy. A bad sick naughty boy. You know what bad boys get?" You smirk, waiting for his answer.

"Punishment!" he yells, his eagerness immeasurable. "They get punishment. Please, doctor..."

"Please, what?"

"Please....punish me"

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

If this goes well I'll write the second part(smut ofc).

[redhood414]

the nightmare at the theme park. (Horror: Damian Wayne x reader) part 2. (Warnings: if you're afraid of clowns I don't suggest you read this, mention of torture, beaten and blood)

Yeah. This was supposed to be *real* fun. Now the both off you were in a theme park that seemed like the one from It. (Accept with the clown in it, hopefully)

As you saw the Fun House Damian looked at you and frowned. "It could be dangerous. Wait here." He said, but you scoffed and crossed your arms. "No way! I'm not staying here alone. I'm going with you, whether you like it or not!"

He couldn't go against that, you're just too stubborn to argue with so while holding each others hand the two off you walked towards the Fun House and entered.

There were lights flickering and some clown statue malfunctioning. There was a small plushie monkey on the floor, clapping the metal against each other. Damian looked around and called out "Hello? Someone here?" He asked as he held you close to him in a protective way. A few seconds of dead silence passed. No answer. Or so you thought. Suddenly the statue of the clown began to move and the voice box started to come to live. A maniac laughter came throught it. And only one man could laugh like that. Joker. Damian should've known. Halloween. Theme park. He shouldn't have been so stupid to take you here.

"Well, well...look who it is. Our dearie Robin and his little girlfriend!! Ohh this is too good to be true...I already thought you were stupid but not this stupid Robin!! Come on you could've expected this...no?"

Joker was right. He should have expected it. But he was too dumb to not realize the danger.

"What do you want, you filthy clown?" He asked as he held you behind his back while speaking to Joker. The voice of the Joker came alive again throught the voice box. "Ah-ah..so not nice!! In a bad mood, are we, Robin? HAHAHA!"

You clutched onto Damian. If there was one villain you've always feared in your life it was Joker.

You remember, your brother Jason, telling you about it. The time when he was the second Robin. How soon after he got Robin was reckless and went after Joker by himself, alone and got captured. He got tortured by him over a year, in Arkham. No one came to save him. Everyday. Beaten with the crowbar. And Joker just mocked and laughed at him while he was beating Jason.

Yeah. One off the many reasons you're scared of Joker. That man has *no* limits. No. Not a man. A monster. It takes pleasure from people's pain. Like a parasite.

Damian scolded. "What do you want, you freak!?"

Joker let out a dramatic sigh. "Aww skipping the pep talk? And I was looking forward for some tea and cookies!"

Ironic. There were some crumbs from kids left on the floor.

"well if you all want to get to business...fine." Suddenly there started some music playing and a doll with batteries stepped forward, holding on a gun pointing at you, which looked like a toy again. But then again. This was Joker.

Damian's eyes widen. "DON'T YOU DARE HURT HER!" He scolded.

Joker laughed ones again. This was soooooo amusing to him! Seeing his girlfriend with a gun pointed at her throught the cameras, Damian getting all angry and wanting to play the *hero*!

"Well Robin....survive the Fun House and she'll live. Don't do it. She dies. Fail the Fun House she...BOOM!" He laughed ones again. The voice box went dead. Silence.

To save you. Damian must survive the Fun House. And when it's Joker...he already knew that it was gonna be for fearing the worst of the worst.

[tg-pilled]

Tokyo Ghoul Characters as MCR songs

This is for shits and giggles, please don't take this too serious. I originally wanted to cover Every album and compare Every song to a character from each album and then realized nobody cares that deeply so here is a brief version!

Kaneki - Famous Last Words - "Can you see my eyes are shining bright? 'Cause I'm out here on the other side of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak. Is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete?"

Haise - AMBULANCE - "And we will wear our masks again, out after dark, 'cause we are up for everything it takes, and we are not the same."

Ginshi - Cancer - "But counting down the days to go, it just ain't living, and I just hope you know that if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true because the hardest part of this is leaving you."

Urie - Sleep - "Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, 'cause there ain't no way I'm sorry for what I did."

Mutsuki - DESTROYA - "With duct-tape scars on my honey, they don't like who you are. You won't like where we'll go, brother, protect me now."

Saiko - The Kids from Yesterday - "All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate. They only care if you can bleed. Does the television make you feel the pills you ate or every person that you need to be?"

Arima - The Foundations of Decay - "Let the flesh submit itself to gravity. Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame. Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain. Now if your convictions were a passing phase, may your ashes feed the river in the morning rays. And as the vermin crawls we lay in the foundations of decay."

Hide - The World is Ugly - "These are their hearts, but their hearts don't beat like ours. They burn 'cause they are all afraid. But mine beats twice as hard, 'cause the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me."

Touka - The Ghost of You - "At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies, she dies. At the end of the world, or the last thing I see, you are never coming home."

Hinami - Cemetary Drive - "If you want, I'll keep on crying. Did you get what you deserve? Is this what you always want me for? I miss you."

Ayato - Thank You for the Venom - "I keep a gun in the book you gave me. Hallelujah, lock and load. Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son."

Nishiki - The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You - "Gaze into her killing jar, I'd sometimes stare for hours. She even poked the holes so I can breathe."

Eto - Give 'Em Hell Kid - "Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say. We are young and we don't care. Your dreams and your hopeless hair. We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives."

Naki - The Only Hope for Me is You - "Because you're the only hope for me. And if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own."

Takizawa - House of Wolves - "Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave. Tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray."

Tsukiyama - Romance - There's no lyrics but the vibe is *chefs kiss*

Uta - I Never Told You What I Do for a Living - "It ain't the money and it sure as hell ain't just for the fame, it's for the bodies I claim and lose. Only go so far 'til you bury them so deep and down we go, down."

Renji - Headfirst for Halos - "And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust, just think happy thoughts, and we'll fly home."

Juuzou - Mama - "Well, mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue. You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son."

Rize - Our Lady of Sorrows - "We could be perfect lovers one last night, and die like star-crossed lovers when we fight."

Akira - Skylines and Turnstiles - "We walk in single file. We light our rails and punch our time. Ride escalators colder than a cell. The broken city-sky, like butane on my skin, stolen from my eyes."

Amon - Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back - "For all of us who've seen the light, salute the dead and lead the fight. Who gives a damn if we lose the war? Let the walls come down, let the engines roar."

Feel free to add your own interpretations but these are songs that I think relate to the characters! :)

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 4

surviving is a choice. make yours.

you can’t be afraid to kill. you understand?

i’m not afraid to kill. i’m just… afraid.

i was trying to save lives. i had to try. somebody had to.

if they slaughtered everyone once, what the hell makes this any different?

this sounds like a suicide mission.

we did terrible things in its name.

my honest advice would be that if you’re that miserable, you should break up with them and be with me instead.

you are remarkably resistant. it must be exhausting. 

how is it possible that this is the most scared i’ve been all day?

you don’t have to like what i did. i don’t. but just accept it.

we’ve all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. but we can still come back, we’re not too far gone.

this is why i like you. you just want to hold my hand.

when are you two going to make out already?

have you ever had to work for anything? 

bad things happened because i was scared. they didn’t need to. i didn’t need to be afraid.

i don’t have to be tough. i can run. i’m good at that.

my mom used to say, “everything works out the way it’s supposed to.”

have you been in love with me this whole time?

you start breathing, i’ll start you a shower, and we’ll go from there.

maybe we could catch our breath here for a while.

life isn’t a race. you taught me that. 

the whole world’s haunted now. there’s no getting out of that - not until we’re dead.

we’re supposed to be working together. 

this year would have been painful without you.

you were so self-obsessed, you never noticed your best friend needed you.

i don’t feel challenged. 

if this is where you want to be, then stay.

i need to know if you mean what i think you mean. do you still love me?

i’m with you. ’til the world explodes. 

if we’re going to do this, you need to be all in.

it’s funny how you don’t even notice the time go by. horrible shit just stacks up day after day.

you are not safe, no matter how many people are around.

we’re strong enough that we can still help people.

this is the nightmare, but nightmares end.

we ain’t dead. whatever happened, happened. let’s start over.

there’s nothing left in the world that isn’t hidden.

we’re friends. we have each other’s backs, that’s it. that’s how it works.

growing up is getting used to the world.

we do what we need to do, and then we get to live.

we don’t have to be friends. it just doesn’t have to be quiet.

people always die. you know that.

you don’t know yourself. that’s the big ah-ha for me here. i get you more than you get you.

i know that i love you, and i need you, and maybe you could love me too. and that’s okay.

all you do is hurt me.

oh, please, like you haven’t been waiting for me to screw up.

you’re no sheep. you’re a wolf. 

i actually thought you wanted to be my friend.

asshole, i don’t go to the gym every day. 

so, you’re leaving to fight ghosts? that’s the plan?

i don’t think any one place can be someone’s everything.

all i have is pain.

there are very few people in this world that make me feel the way you do.

can we just forget this ever happened, please?

you’re doing great. i promise.

it’s you and me against the world, okay?

friendship doesn’t matter. love doesn’t matter.

i’m superhuman, right? made of steel.

people will say almost anything to save their own life.

what if i hadn’t come home in time?

they think we’re guilty, so we are.

i’m grieving the loss of what we could have made this place.

tonight, even though we are in hell, i feel like i have another chance with you.

you and me are the way out.

i won’t let anything pull us apart again. you hear me?

i should've just skipped class, partied, had sex, have fun.

you smell like shit.

we need to get the fuck out of here now.

you are not defined by what happened to you. you are what you do.

fuck it. i’m dying tonight one way or another.

maybe you’re right. maybe shit is doomed. 

the reality is, i’m dying. i am dying. you have to face that. 

what happened to “me and you against the world, you’re all i need”?

stop crying where everyone can see you. it’s embarrassing.

all my days are bad.

tonight’s been the first time i’ve felt like myself in months. it’s been so long. i forgot what that felt like. 

you make me feel like… me.

you drive me crazy sometimes but we're in this together. you're not alone.

[anjaelle]

White Light | Part IX

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Pairing: Ghost!Aaron Taylor-Johnson x Black!Reader Warnings: Purgatory, Darkness, Death, Creepy imagery Word Count: 1.7K Summary: No one can defy the natural cycle of birth, life, and death. Except...what if you really want to? A/N: Solo!Reader chapter but SUPER necessary as we go into the final part. Plus surprise new headers for this chapter and the final chapter. Yay!

[Part I] | [Part II] | [Part III] | [Part IV] | [Part V] | [Part VI] | [Part VII] | [Part VIII] | [☁Masterpost ☁] | [♫The Crimson Zombies Mixtape ♫]

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You always had the belief that the liminal space between the afterlife and the living was paper thin. It had to be. How else could someone get trapped in the space between the two?

It felt like you were falling for an eternity.

Someone was holding you. As they were roughly pulled away, they called your name...you think. But they were too far away for you to register what it was.

You just wanted to sleep, but the darkness wouldn't let you. Voices echoed around you, whispering indecipherable words in languages you barely understood. They overlapped. Some were yelling, some laughing. You heard a sob, and a scream, and angry shouting.

Through it all, you heard the hoarse, shallow breathing of an unknown thing. You could feel its hot breath on the back of your neck, you smelled the unmistakable stench of decay and blood. You remembered the image of the thing with many sharp teeth, dripping black spit, and wide yellow eyes, staring at you from the corner of a room. Lying in wait. For what? You didn't know. But it grinned at you as it passed your vision and circled you curiously.

"Oh...oh...oh...It's you, little fox...fox...fox."

Little fox...little fox.

You're not supposed to be here, little fox.

She's not sssssupposed to be here...here...here

You tried to open your mouth to speak, but there was nothing to open. You floated through the dark without a body, without pain, without care. Just thoughts. You weren't afraid, though you felt like you should've been.

You wondered how the voices knew you.

"I've always known you, little fox...fox...fox. As I knew your mother, and her mother before her....her...her."

Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?

The overlapping whispers stopped at all once, replaced with deafening silence. The many-toothed thing laughed sharply. If you could see it properly, you're sure it would've thrown its grotesque head back in jest. And when you turned to follow the sound, it merely circled you again, dancing out of reach.

"My brave girl, you know exactly where you are."

You didn't even know your own name, let alone where you were and what you were supposed to do. The many-toothed thing tsked.

"I told the boy he could not have you. His soul was mine to take," the thing let out a low, tired sigh, "Oh, but he latched onto you, little fox. As stubborn as they come. You and your mother are quite similar."

There it was again. You struggled to think of your mother, but her face was just a vague image in your memory. As if by request, an image flashed of a woman who looked incredibly familiar, sitting on the floor of a house with the apparition of a woman sitting across from her. They held hands as the woman who was presumably your mother whispered over a candle.

"She tried desperately to save her." The thing whispered, sorrowfully, "But I warned her that saving a soul would always require a sacrifice."

She shifted, and it was then that you noticed that she was pregnant.

Was that you?

"Yessss," the thing answered, circling you again, "I told her that she could save her friend. But only if I could have you. And she chose you--as any mother would. But, oh, she was not happy to lose her. It was no surprise when she stopped answering me. But I've always...always loved her. And I've always known you."

The sincerity in the thing's voice caught you off guard. Small flashes of memory resurfaced of your mother shoving boxes in the back of the closet and covering mirrors. You thought she'd gone mad.

You felt a pang of familiarity in your chest.

"You can't save the boy."

The boy? You struggled to remember a face. A name. You could only remember the feeling.

"You...cannot...save him. Let him go."

Why?

"What's gone is gone and cannot be retrieved."

You didn't believe that. You felt something shift. Like the space around you was charged with electricity. You knew you didn't have a physical body here, but you could almost feel the vibrations in the air where your fingertips would be.

Is time linear here? How long have I been gone?

"You need to move on, little fox."

No. I'm not done. I'm not ready. I'm...I have to do something. I have to at least try.

The thing sighed, the scent of death wafted over you. You'd grown used to it.

Suddenly you were blinded by a bright white light, and the liminal space was a hallway with dozens of doors lined up on either side. You could hear the humming of voices, the slamming of the doors, the echoes of passing spirits.

You looked down and found your body in its rightful place. The bloom of blood drenched the side of your shirt, though you could no longer feel the pain of the wound. The memories of what happened slammed into you and you fell to your knees, gasping for breath like you'd been submerged underwater. And as you tried to regain your bearings, you tried to remember everything you'd been taught. Your grandmother told you about this once. She told you about walking in the space between, looking through the doors.

To think you believed for years that everything about your family's legacy was bullshit.

The many-toothed thing appeared beside you, floating in a shadow and causing the lights of the hall to flicker as it passed them. Its long, sharp fingernail pointed down the hall to a door.

"Go, little fox."

"Where does that door lead to?"

It didn't answer. It simply pointed before shrouding its face in the shadows once more.

You hesitated, unsure of where this was going to leave you. You didn't have a heartbeat anymore, but if you did, you're sure you would've heard it in your ears. Your hands shook. You broke out into a run, knowing walking would just prolong the inevitable.

As the door drew closer, the air shifted. It felt warmer. Brighter. You shoved the door open and began falling again.

Down...down...down. Through a bright white light, and the overlapping voices calling your name.

One familiar voice shouted for you, but before you could answer, you slammed into something hard and blacked out.

─ ·𖥸· ─

Your hearing was the first to return to you. Sort of. The ringing in your ears made your head pang, and you didn't even want to open your eyes. A low groan escaped your mouth. The wind was inevitably knocked out of you like you'd been hit by a truck. The strange, yet familiar humid cold in the air seeped into your skin and made you shiver, and you realized you weren't wearing a coat.

Why was it so cold?

"...Darling? Sweetheart? Are you alright?" The kind voice of an older woman pulled you into the present. You just wanted to lay down forever. Maybe take a nap. A few other voices joined in, asking if you were alright. Someone gently shook you.

You opened your eyes, squinting at the five faces floating into your field of vision. Unfamiliar, but concerned all the same. It suddenly struck you that they could see you. And touch you.

So you weren't dead?

As you worked to sit up, the older woman in a thick coat and nurse's scrubs gently held your back and guided you into the sitting position. She reminded you of your grandmother which gave you a strong level of comfort.

"There you go," she cooed softly, "easy now. That was a nasty fall, sweetheart. Are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Her badge said New York Presbyterian, so you gathered she was just coming off of work. You felt a small pang of guilt for some unknown reason.

You cleared your throat.

"Yeah I'm fine, thank you." You struggled to get it out. Once it was confirmed that you weren't on the brink of death, the small crowd dispersed except for the woman who looked you over for signs of a concussion, no doubt. She took out a small light and checked your eyes.

"Do you know your name?" She asked. You told her, happy that you could remember it now.

"Do you know where you are?" You looked around, peering at the buildings in the north. The skyline looked...off. Different. You squinted, then turned to the south. You froze.

No...no no no.

Where the fuck was the Freedom Tower? Why was there a gaping hole in the skyline where a building should be? You felt your heart begin to race. The skyline wasn't right. It didn't look right.

"I-- we're in l-lower Manhattan. Right?"

"Good! Do you know the date?" You hesitated. How long were you gone? And how did you end up in the street? You looked down at your clothes and saw they were no longer bloody. What happened?

"Um...I don't...know." You admitted, sheepishly.

"Do you know the year, at least?" She coaxed in concern, a frown pulling at her mouth as she tucked one of her gray curls behind her ear.

"T-two...thousand..." You began. Your mouth couldn't even finish the sentence before she tutted and held your elbow.

"Okay let's get you to the hospital. You might be alright, but we wanna just make sure."

As you got to your feet, majorly disgusted by the fact that you had your head and hands on the nasty sidewalk, you grasped her hand.

"Can you please tell me what year it is?" You begged. The realization hit you in the chest at full speed.

"It's 2003, sweetheart." She answered, concern laced in her tone. "It's February 3rd, 2003."

So this was where the door led you.

You didn't want to believe it. You wanted to stifle the optimism growing in your chest, but you couldn't help the wide grin pulling at your lips. You probably looked like a crazy person.

A quick glance in a storefront window confirmed this. Your hair was a mess, you were wearing summer clothes in the winter, and you had a dazed look in your eye. But you were you. And you were HERE.

You had to find him. And FAST.

You are now entering...

NEW YORK CITY. 2003.

[mail-me-a-snail]

explain your silvervance playlist

let's get to it! this got very. very long. tumblr only allows 30 images per post so expect a part two :3

⭐1.) twin skeleton's (hotel in nyc) - fall out boy

the silvervance playlist kicks off with vance's post act 1 theme--the song that follows him out of the grave and into the next life with johnny in his head.

johnny's engram saved vance; kept his head together even if chunks of the merc's brain matter were slipping through his chrome fingers, in a manner of speaking.

when the relic saved vance's life, it marked him for death, too. jackie might've taken the bullet for him, but death is gonna find vance one way or another.

⭐2.) hysteria - muse

johnny resides within a new, uncooperative body, hates every second of it, and decides to make it vance's problem.

johnny himself has come back to life after 54 years of not-so-eternal death; didn't even know he was dead until he was walking upright again, until he was shocked back to consciousness. but it's not a real life--it's not even his to begin with.

⭐3.) come a little closer - cage the elephant

vance runs through johnny's memories; he gets to see night city's infamous rockerboy for who he really is, who he always has been: a liar, a faker, someone who claims to hate control but wants it, anyway. seeing his memories is as invasive as johnny seeing vance's--but johnny, surprisingly, says come take a look. see who've you've got in your head.

they're in this together, now. there's no going back.

⭐4.) infidel zombie - the dickies

with the theft of the relic and the revival of arasaka's public enemy #1, the megacorp is sending its best out to hunt them down.

after having escaped arasaka thus far, vance is on high alert. it doesn't help, either, that takemura--one of their best guard dogs--will only vow his service to vance as as long as they rescue hanako--the very face of arasaka itself.

⭐5-7.)

meanwhile, johnny and vance are still fighting over ownership of the latter's body. johnny wants one thing, vance wants another, and both of them hate this sense of dual autonomy. but little by little, they're becoming more alike.

my body is a cage - arcade fire / this body means nothing to me - shrimp / mark on you - the mountain goats

⭐8.) psychotic opera - small leaks sink ships

hellman gives them the low-down: vance isn't gonna make it with johnny still in his head. the best he can do is die comfortably.

but alt offers them a possible solution--find her where she resides in mikoshi, deep in the heart of the very tower vance had sworn he would never go back to, and she just might still be able to separate them.

this is the point of the playlist where vance realizes separation may be more painful than what would inevitably happen otherwise. he doesn't understand yet why he feels this way. only that johnny has been with him for some time now, enough time that being without him would feel...odd.

⭐9-10.)

they both have their own regrets about their respective lives, conjoined as they are now. they mourn for what could've, should've been. they mourn for what'll never happen--for the world, maybe, or maybe what'll never happen between them.

what was it johnny said? this is why you don't bring back fallen warriors: sooner or later, they're gonna see everything they fought for's turned to shit.

wish i knew you - the revivalists / all these things that i've done - the killers

⭐11.) granite - sleep token

but things aren't all that bad. vance falling in love with johnny was as inevitable as it was wholly consuming; he had never realized how lonely he had been until the ghost had come along. johnny is one of the only people in the city who understands what it's like to pass through it daily, to never feel your feet on the pavement, to just keep going.

even if the alt cunningham (or an engram of her), has offered them a solution herself, a very small part of vance is afraid it won't work. this is arasaka they're talking about; they'd need a miracle to undo the damage the megacorp has done.

he is afraid of dying.

but if that is how he can be with johnny--

--then he'll take it, even if it's in death.

✨12.) ordinary love (extraordinary remix) - U2

THIS. THIS IS IT. this is THE silvervance theme song. you'll recognize these lyrics as being the title of their fic series. ordinary love is just. it's the song that illustrates how much love johnny and vance have for each other.

vance doesn't want johnny out. he wants both of them to get their lives back--to live the life that was taken from them, together.

⭐13-15.)

in my head, these songs are intercut with various missions. they take place, chronologically, after my fic poltergeist (ie, vance and johnny have established the rocky foundations for their relationship). i think the lyrics speak for themselves.

rain - sleep token / slowly spilling out - saint motel / chokehold - sleep token

part 2 here

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Oh, the horrors of falling in love -Danny Words: 2,534 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Little Lion Man' -by Mumford & Sons

XXVI: Ah Shit, Here We Go Again

"We were..." I look at the boys towering over me, "training."

"Training?" Mike asks indignantly. "For what? Dying?"

"It's a long story," Nico rolls his eyes. "Harmless match, that's all."

"Harmless," Percy repeats, scowling. "Nico, you have a black eye. Ara's lip is busted and her leg is bleeding. What the Tartarus were you doing?"

Nico and I look at each other with the same surprised expression. I touch my lip and feel the blood, as well as the pain. Nico touches his eye and frowns. "Ouch," he mumbles.

"They wanted to know which was the strongest since they both believe they are the top gladiator of the twenty-first century," Connor explains.

"Why didn't you try to stop them?" Michael scolds him.

"Di Angelo cracked the ground beneath her feet and she threw a water bottle at his face and kicked him in the crotch!" Travis complains. "They move too fast."

"You two come with me." 

Mike guides us out of the arena with Lily quietly following close.

"Where are you taking us?"

"The infirmary is for campers who hurt themselves training properly, not for uncontrolled beasts who have fun breaking arms. I'm going to cure you two with other remedies, the ones that stink of compost."

"No one broke anything," Nico sulks.

I nod thoughtfully. "Can't be hard, though..."

"No more fights!" Lily and Mike shout in unison.

"Who won, then?" Connor asks Lily, quickly catching up to us.

We look at her, she looks back like she can't believe we're asking. "Nobody! None of them asked for a truce, Percy and Mike had to break the fight."

"One of us should've been better anyway."

"You're both equally stupid," she scolds us. "There was no winner. Period."

We get to the edge of the forest, Mike sits with us and smears our faces with a strange moss that stinks of stagnant water. 

Let me say, that stuff tastes as bad as it looks, so I refuse to put that in my mouth, I don't care if that means I'll end up having a scar.

Percy takes a look at us once we go back and asks in a frustrated tone: "You'll continue fighting until there's a winner, won't you?"

Nico and I look at each other with the same dark grin.

"Forget Kronos, they're going to die before they turn fourteen," Lily groans.

"I hope they gain some sense before that happens," Mike fixes my bandages with concern.

I don't care about the bruises and the scarring, they show I'm not afraid to throw a punch. Besides, if getting into fights means I'll have Mike's attention on me, I think I can live with it.

Ara gets yanked backward before a boulder hits her. 

"Get us out of here!" Nico yells at Leo, then he leans down. "That'd be the third time, by the way."

Ara pushes him aside. "I've saved your life more times than you can catch up to."

"Judging by how sloppy you are, I doubt it," he replies.

They've been trying to pass through this patch of sea for the last two days and each attempt ends with them having to retreat. Ara hasn't been this angry since the second time Percy went missing.

The girl curses in ancient Greek and tosses remains of rock off the deck, they land in the water with a pathetic splash. She walks up to the others, scowling and muttering swear words under her breath.

"Well, that was sucktastic," Leo groans, matching her mood. "Should I wake the others?"

"They need rest," Hazel says, though she looks tired too. "We'll have to figure out another way on our own."

"Huh... another way—do you see one?" Leo scowls at his monitor.

Ara's eyes stay on him as he speaks. She doesn't know if he's angry or guilty about the fortune cookie, could be both, but the boy's made a clear effort to keep her away so she can't use her empath touch on him, which is torture. 

Today he's wearing a stained work shirt and singed jeans, and his hair is covered in sweat and dirt yet Ara has the urge to reach up and kiss his stupid frown away. The longer he stays away, the more she wants to yell at him, hating that she can't focus on saving her friends because she's too busy yearning for a kiss.

"It's our fault," Hazel says at last. "Nico's and mine. The numina can sense us." 

"Yeah, I agree," Ara sulks. "It's Nico's fault."

The boy glares at her as he picks out splinters off his jacket. Ara suspects he knows she's just pushing his buttons because she has no other outlet.

"Earth spirits don't like children of the Underworld. That's true," he says ignoring her. "We get under their skin—literally. But I think the numina could sense this ship anyway. We're carrying the Athena Parthenos. That thing is like a magical beacon."

"So crossing the mountains is out," Leo sighs, examining the monitor again. "Thing is, they go a long way in either direction."

"We could go by sea," Hazel offers. "Sail around the southern tip of Italy."

"That's a long way. Plus, we don't have..." Nico glances at Ara pointedly. "Our sea expert, Percy."

The girl tightens her grasp on Almighty's grip. "Well, we obviously can't go this way any more than we can shadow travel the whole ship, so there's gotta be a way around it."

"What about continuing north?" Hazel continues. "There has to be a break in the mountains, or something."

Leo tinkers with the Archimedes sphere newly installed on the ship. Ara's fingers have been itching to touch it, but she doesn't know how it works, and since Leo is spending the least amount of time with her, asking her boyfriend for lessons is out of the question.

A hologram comes out when Leo presses a few buttons and proceeds to examine the map carefully. "I dunno. I don't see any good passes to the north. But I like that idea better than backtracking south. I'm done with Rome."

"Whatever we do," Nico continues, "we have to hurry. Every day that Annabeth and Percy are in Tartarus..."

"They'll be fine for the next three days," Ara states confidently.

"Because you say so?" Nico scoffs. "The universe doesn't bow to you, regardless of what you think."

Ara's blood boils instantly. "Do you know what my job was on the quests I went to?"

"Was it Lady-in-distress?" Nico taunts her. "Or bait? You liked to squirm a lot."

Ara steps closer. Hazel and Leo prepare to break a possible fight, this has happened way too many times in the two days Nico's been on the ship. "I was in charge of supplies. I know how much food Annabeth and Percy consume, the amount of nectar and ambrosia they need, and they know I'm good at my job. I would never let them starve during the first two days of a journey."

"The supplies you had in your stupid dino were for you, not them," Nico argues.

"They were better survivors than I ever was, dumbass, do you think I didn't take that into consideration?" She scowls. "They have enough for a whole week, perhaps more if they eat less than they should."

Hazel hurries to speak. "He's just worried, Ara. Please."

The girl sounds so stressed that Ara snaps out of her anger. She looks back at Hazel's imploring eyes and steps back, arms crossing over her chest as she avoids looking at Nico.

"Anyway," she continues in a gentler voice. "If we're going to change trajectory, we should bring the others. Jason can fly and check for us, Piper's dagger can help too, maybe."

"No," Hazel replies stubbornly. "We can figure this out. We just need some creative thinking. Another way to cross those mountains, or a way to hide ourselves from the numina."

"The only way to hide would be using the mist," Ara raises a brow. "But I've never been able to trick monsters with that."

"And like Ara said, if I was alone, I could shadow-travel. But that won't work for an entire ship. And honestly, I'm not sure I have the strength to even transport myself anymore," Nico says with frustration.

"I could maybe rig some kind of camouflage," Leo suggests, "like a smoke screen to hide us in the clouds."

"Arion," Hazel says suddenly.

"What?" Nico frowns.

Leo lets out a joyful exclamation as he points forward.  "It's her horse, man! You missed that whole part. We haven't seen him since Kansas!"

"He's back?" Ara squints, spotting the animal rushing towards them.

Hazel smiles. "We have to meet him—He's here to help."

"Yeah, okay." Leo tilts his head. "But, uh, we talked about not landing the ship on the ground anymore, remember? You know, with Gaea wanting to destroy us and all."

"Just get me close, and I'll use the rope ladder. I think Arion wants to tell me something." 

"Just don't go too far away," Ara pauses. "Though since it's Arion, I almost feel stupid asking that."

"Almost?" Nico responds sarcastically.

"Enough," Hazel scowls at them. "Leo, don't let them fight while I'm gone."

"What?" Leo waves his hands in front of him rejecting the idea. "No, no, no! These two drive me nuts! Not even Coach Hedge can stand their arguments, and he loves it when people fight!"

Ara frowns. "I'll go below decks, if that makes you feel less anxious, Hazel—you," she points at Nico. "Wait for your sister."

"Like you have to tell me," he mutters.

"And you..." Ara looks at Leo. He briefly looks into her eyes before turning to the control board. "Keep looking for alternative routes."

"On it, General," he mumbles, eyes fixed on the sphere's projection.

Lily stares at the Aphrodite figurine in her hand. I'd left it in my room, but I guess she found it when she went looking for her dagger. She's on border patrol, it seems, next to Thalia's tree. Connor Stoll is with her. 

"Hey," he nudges her arm. "Don't you need like a whole deck of cards to play with that?"

Lily puts the item in her pocket. "I'm not playing."

"What's on your mind?" Connor asks, then looks away wincing. "Never mind."

The girl stares ahead. "Do you think she's okay?"

"The last thing we heard was that she was slaying sea monsters," he grins. "I think she's having a ball."

Lily pulls out her dagger and plays with it. "But the Roman tropes are coming—and she's not here to send them away."

"Quests are more important, Lily," he tries to reason. "And it's her brother we're talking about. I mean, you have to remember he and Annabeth are her oldest friendships in camp—"

"I'm not talking about stupid friendships," she snaps. "She made an oath. That's what this is about."

Connor frowns. "To you?"

She stabs the ground and glares at it. "Didn't even try to take me along..."

"Because there was no way that'd—"

"I know!" Lily stands up. "It's not about that either!" The girl huffs before continuing. She seizes the Aphrodite figurine again. "Do you remember... people used to like her from the get-go? She could make a crowd welcome her in with open arms. I know she has charmspeak, but there used to be something else—she made me believe there was hope out there for us. Now she..."

Lily hands Connor the figurine and sits down, gazing wistfully at the small statue.

"She was pure sunshine. You know what I mean."

Connor seems uncomfortable, he puts the figure in his pocket and gets up, then offers his hand to Lily. "C'mon, you have to join Grover and Rachel for the meeting with the Roman kids."

Lily groans, but she takes his hand anyway. I get to see their matching soul lights immediately after. "Do I have to?"

"We respond to you while Ara is gone," he smiles. "And we all know you've always been in charge of the diplomacy, anyway."

Ara opens her eyes at once, almost falling off her chair. She'd fallen asleep on the worktable while trying—and failing—to read.

"Hey, man, why are you hugging Nike?"

She turns and spots Jason and Leo, her boyfriend has been napping in one corner of the engine room hugging the statue in Athena's hand. Ara straightens her posture and rubs her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Leo pushes a tangled blanket off his lap. "We were just cuddling. Um, what's going on?"

"We made it through the mountains," Jason announces. "We're almost to Bologna. You should join us in the mess hall. Nico has new information."

"Oh, goody," Ara mutters, pushing the hair out of her face and closing her book. "Nico wants to talk..."

Jason frowns. "Can we get through a meeting without you two fighting?"

Ara thinks of what she saw in her dream, and her annoyance shifts into shame. "Fine, I'll sit away from him."

Once they're left alone, Leo and Ara speak simultaneously. "I had a bad dream."

Ara raises a brow. "That's why you were cuddling Nike?"

"Don't worry, she was a one-night thing," Leo approaches her worktable. "But please, tell me yours didn't have Janus again? That would make mine worse."

"What? No, it was a different type of dream," she replies, eyeing him intently. "What was yours?"

"It was a lady and she was like, offering me two different types of death," he shrugs, trying to remember. "Said something about a maze..."

Ara's stomach twists in dread. "No, that was not related to my dream, but it sounds bad. You don't want to find yourself in a maze ever, Leo. They suck."

"Geez, sunshine, stop trying to cheer me up," he sulks.

"Sorry," she tries again, Lily's words tormenting her. "Perhaps Nico has something useful for a change. And uh... is Hazel..?"

"She came back. I came here to let you know but it felt wrong to wake you, so I took a nap instead."

Despite everything, Ara smiles. "You took a nap where your girlfriend was... just at the opposite corner of the room?"

"Your bench isn't large enough for the two of us."

"Nothing to do with avoiding all physical contact with me, right?"

Leo's nose starts to steam. "Whaat? Baby, you know I can't live without you!" Ara crosses her arms and stares at him, so he caves. "Listen, can't blame a guy for feeling awkward, okay?"

"About what?"

"Your brother and oldest friend falling straight to hell because of what I did."

"It sounds terrible that way," she frowns. 

"When you bravely tried to lighten our burden by closing the Doors of Death alone but ended up getting your friends in trouble," he raises a brow, being heavily sarcastic. "Better?"

The girl sighs. "If it means anything... I would've been really sorry about not giving you a goodbye kiss."

Leo's voice contains a bit of amusement. "That's as close as you can get to an apology?"

"I won't say I'm glad it was my brother and Annabeth instead," she complains.

"That's not what I want to hear either."

"What do you want?" Ara leans closer, almost begging.

The boy holds her by the shoulders, playfully shaking her. "I don't want anything, Arae! Stop trying to fix it!"

"That's rich coming from you!" She huffs, pushing his hands away.

Leo smirks, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. "It is, isn't it? Come on, we shouldn't keep Nico waiting. That'll only give him more reasons to talk shit about you."

"He'll do it anyway," Ara mumbles, letting him guide her out of the engine room.

"I know, honey, I know," he replies in a mushy voice. "You are so strong for putting up with that."

"Shut up."

"My brave little angel..."

"I mean it!"

"The gods's strongest warrior—"

Ara tries to elbow him but Leo dodges her, escaping with a devilish laugh.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

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[quillheel]

❝ what happened to you? come inside. come inside. ❞ (To Kim from Stranger on the Balcony)

It had been a long time since his head pounded the way it did tonight.

When he was younger, this kind of pain had been the consequences of stupid actions he could predict, account for, undermine. Controllable, in a way. A way he had learned over time to minimize where possible as he'd gotten older, the years perhaps not making him wiser, but his priorities changing. Causes rattle like a snake's tail in the back of his mind ( insomnia, substance abuse, stress, injury ━ )

Bruises littered the Lieutenants face in a twisted painting, sore like a battered dog as he waited patiently at the Smokers door. ━ It felt like the freeze of the plummeting snow of evening made it worse, frost reaching up from the base of his shaved neck into his brain-stem, crystals icing the grey-matter as it burned at the bruises & faint streaks of fractured blood-vessels littering his cheek ; a lightning strike in a torpefied spring. ━ his hands drew behind him, almost absentminded, twitching. he realizes, a moment after, that he lacks his gloves. ( left at the Whirling, he recalls, he'd needed dexterity for tending to the wounds Harrier had sustained where leather could not permit ) ━━ too slow, too late.

━ Kitsuragi is certain, instantly, that he must look much worse than he is alone in the infant light of the apartment cascading upon him. He takes a breath & mouth gapes with a series of about-to-be-said sentences, but to his surprise finds himself being ushered inside before the words form. perhaps even more surprising; he obliges, almost without hesitance, the sound of his boots on the stone flooring as he enters is clear cut in the muffled feeling of the world at large, a consequence of wretched senses. maybe it was familiarity, even in a place like Martinaise, of the unspoken protocol that stretched its nerves throughout cities from spaces he thinks both men are familiar with ━ the Smoker, someone new but versed. Kim, a history teeming.

How it wasn't protocol at all, wasn't obligation, but the same heart across a community that understands what to do when one of your own turns up wounded, or shaken, or afraid; accustomed with living looking out for each-other as well as oneself, it inspires a trust that works its way into your bone marrow. the knowledge that if you go to the right people, they will take you in, and that even briefly, you will be safe. a brotherhood, a sisterhood, a something else lit in the underglow of pretty colors & community & language built to harbor them, harbor each-other.

Maybe it was that that inspired such blind faith in him, blind trust. He scolds himself that could get him killed one day. ( the night prior? it had saved his life. )

" Khm. I can assure you, sir, it isn't as bad as it looks. " dark eyes flick across the Smoker, then, the rest of his apartment as he briefly refamiliarizes himself with the foreign space, lingering near the door like a nervous animal waiting for the cue to leave if he needs to ; only out of the way enough to close it behind him. body tense, almost uncomfortable, but maybe that was only to suppress the subtle tremor in his hands, up his wrists, as they were locked behind his back. ━ Hiding, in a way. " Just some bruising, and a concussion. Nothing severe. "

he catches a clock and Kim wonders, briefly, if he should've come earlier ( 21:03 ; 9:03pm ), but dismisses it. As far as he knows, this was the most likely time for the Smoker to be here, too late now. Kim murmurs something about having a few questions as the stabbing pain of the migraine flares in the side of his skull, something he forgets as soon as he says it. ━ Ah. Whatever. He can still work with this...

[muffindaddystyles]

KISMETS.

Harry Styles x fem!reader.

Slow burn, platonic love and jealousy clićhes.

Fluff! Fluff! Fluff!

Frenemies and dad!harry.

Author's Note: The concept's kinda weird but if you've watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Phoebe Buffay carrying child for someone. You've got it my pal!

MASTERLIST LETS TALK! PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

"Can ya stop breathing like, THAT!?" She whisper yells twisting to give him a sharp glare full of spleen elbow poking at his side abs, "Like what!?" He half squeaks peering down at her with doe eyes palms flat at sides to convey his surprise.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor.

"Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them. Harry hates her hormones. Little bitches.

Or

Y/N is carrying a baby for Harry and his girlfriend ---  but something went downhill.

//

Twinkling droplets of crystal rain pelts against the bricked road subsiding harsh noises of surrounding but a nettled groan caught everyone's attention ‐‐‐ stares turning in direction. Have you ever wanted to just disappear under a warm invisible cloak and enjoy the drollery aspects of life without worrying? Because this is what Y/N wants at the moment as she stands under the bus stop shelter with few people beside her and the british showers starts pouring mocking at her for not carrying an umbrella with her.

Everyone leaves when the bus didn't arrive — who remains behind's Y/N huffing and pouting wishing for rain to stop. When it didn't she muttered a 'fuck it' before risking catching a cold and stepping under the pitter patter with her books atop her head for less damage.

Trying to punch in the passcode of society's gate with shivery fingers perhaps it opens before that startling her wet-y self. Similar car drives near her and a head pops in from inside with his big goofy smile and crinkles by his charming eyes, "Ni!" She exclaims pushing away the drippy hair sticking to her lips with her pinky.

"Pet you're gonna catch a cold. Want me to drop ya?" Niall kinda yells over the rain's loudness. She sighs fog whirling infront of her. Shoves her hand in her trench coat's pocket to seek for heat instead it's all icky and drenching.

"No it's just a tiny walk away. I'll manage — call me will tell ya how my class went." She waves him looking at him from her shoulder while rushing away towards the most elegant house in the block. Niall gives her a thumbs up from before getting out of sight and she tries to hop over the puddles of water to make it to doorsteps.

The water she brings from outside pooling at the dark timber floor - it trails behind her past the pink door as she rushes jumpy-ly where the most hot's in the house and apparently it's more than she expected, "ouch. ouch my eyes!!" She screams covering them at the sight of Harry butt naked pinning his girlfriend against the wall near fire place. Her face turning into a tomato at the horrendous raid but she seems pissed and well . . displeased that Y/N ruined a mind boggling orgasm for her.

Before, they could disattach from eachother to unravel their humiliation Y/N jogged up to attic into the guest room slamming her forehead against the door to knock away the embarrassment. She always barges in Harry's house without announcing but sometimes she forgets he isn't alone everytime his girlfriend comes to live by every two weeks (it's his fault too that he never locks the main door as anytime anyone's coming at his place). Changes into clothes she forgets at her visits, tries to dry her hair with a towel that no-more smells like Harry but expensive fabric softeners and has a pep talk for a minute to show herself down infront of them.

Instinctive voices coming from the Kitchen and she pads towards it. They act like nothing happened. Like Harry wasn't dick deep into Chessie moments ago. Harry ushers her to barstool and hands her a cuppa tea moving on with a kiss to her head. It still gives her butterflies even though how many sense awakening scoldings she gave to herself at 3 ams.

"'M sorry." She squeaks with a wavering smile wrapping her palms around the mug. Harry cackles softly brushing the underbelly of his nose as Chessie cordinated the cutlery drawer, "'s okay moppet. we finished our business when ye' left." Y/N almost choked on her hot beverage gulping it down when Chessie shocked gasp throwing little socksies that were laying ontop of the counter at Harry. Are those of toddler? Adam's out of town so there's no way it could be his daughter's socks. Maybe Chessies's one of friend's?

"Should've called me t' pick y'up. Niall was loafin' around too —- wear it you're turnin' blue, pet." He comes back with a swarmy chunky knitted sweater Anne gifted him at his birthday handing it to Y/N and sitting opposite of her pulling Chessie with her wrist into his lap clearing his throat to bring Y/N's attention back from eyeing the socks on the floor. Her eyes flicker between them chest tightening at the love and glow that radiates from Harry when he looks at her.

No. She's not jealous. Mightyyyy bit yeah –- cause she could never be this lucky to have someone as Harry. He's the most caring towards her since ten years been her compass to the home she wanted, her anchor saving her from sinking and the sixth sense of a blind to her. In fact she thinks he's her soulmate and not every soulmates needs to be romantically involved some could watch them growing beautiful in love. Y/N's doing it. Admiring the maturity of his life with the person that truly makes him enough---or she thinks so.

"How was ye'r meditation class?" Harry asks (she took a semester off as she was unable to haul the burden'; Harry convinced her how her health should be her first priority) breaking a cookie in two giving half of it to Chessie who thanks him with a kiss in return, "Was good been feelin' great!" She chirps pulling the sleeves of the sweater that's drenched in cinnamon vanilla-y smell with lingers of what comes of as Chessie's scent. She assumes they cuddled shit loads.

To subside the gnaw in her brain down she finally asks the question pointing at the sock that nobody gave a heed to pick up, they stop chewing looking at eachother to come up with something. Chessie's face distressed knowing Harry wouldn't hide it from Y/N. He tells her everything and sometimes it could be too personal to share.

"Erm. . I bought 'em — 'cos. . " Harry stammers and Y/N smacks her hand atop her mouth avoiding from giving a shocked reaction, "Oh my goodness ye' guys are pregnant!?" It was enough to make Chessie flinch and hike down Harry's lap.

"No! 'S not what ye'r thinkin'." He shakes his head making Y/N confused. "Then you bought it fo' your fingers? Cause that's the only body part it could fit." She teases him to break through the insight tension around and he chuckles shaking his head grabbing Chessie's hand rubbing her knuckles how he used to when Y/N's anxious and over the edge.

"We want to have a family." His words low as he looks at Chessie but she shrugs in return as 'in it is what it is'. Y/N stomach twisted at that. The thought that one day He's gonna have a family of his own and the little bubble that Y/N would be privy to made her throat dry. Because she has no-one despite Harry and he deserves the whole world not just baby keeping Y/N everytime.

"So . .? What's the problem?" She raises her brows looking between them noticing Harry's fingers fiddle with the flower tea mats, "There are complications from Chessie's side." Chessie sighs in disappointment and Y/N ponders over the idea, clocks working and spindling wildly in her mind.

"I could do that for you guys — since I took a semester off --–" She puts the offer nervously and both of their jaws went slack Harry with an adoring grin while Chessie in hitting shock. "--Erm we could go through a traditional surrogacy."

"Are you sure?" Chessie asks squeezing her shoulder and Y/N nodded taking both of their hands, "Anything for ye' guys!" Harry's eyes glossing over and he leaves his spot sprawling his arms calling for her, "Gimme a hug pet. Life saver ye're - we're gonna take care of ye." They group hug tightly and excitedly.

Sometimes actions could speak much more than words because the lies that words hold could ruin the great bondages.

. . .

They went through the medical procedure two days after Her, Harry and Chessie being guided by their acquired doc. She was nervous and sweaty but Harry's presence beside her soothed out any negativity that was building inside her brain. By womb the babies would be Harry's and Y/N but legally Chessie's and Harry. She's just wishing that everything goes alright cause that happiness of them is million worthy to her.

People might call her stupid and brainless for going through sickness, crankiness, back pains and the pain during labour just to give those babies to someone else (she's too afraid to call them her's cause she knows her emotional attachments could be very destructive) but she loves Harry and love makes you do those thingies.

At the moment she's on the toilet seat eyes bolted shut counting threes with the pregnancy test in her wavering fingers. "Please it better work." A squeal of surprise leaves her lungs when her eyes fell over the two positive lines quickly dragging her panties over she tumbled outside where everyone's waiting for her.

"You guys are pregnant!!" Sounds dumb right? She announces loudly. Harry's and Chessie's heads perked up while everyone cheered beers spilling from the rims. She flashed grins to each one of them splitting her gaze away from Harry giving Chessie a celebratory kiss.

"Thank you. Oh my god, love! Can't belive it." Harry held her from shoulders giving her a toothy smile and it puts her off that Chessie didn't say anything just a nod along Harry. "Me too." She breathes out as he leads her to sofa sitting her cautiously. "We'll visit the doctor tommorrow." He reassures popping his head from Sarah's neck as she hugged him tight.

"We're gonna have a little Y/N and Harry running and pooping it's nappies soon." Everyone went silent. A grimace on Y/N and Chessie's face. Niall doesn't know when to shut up does he? Y/N's gonna strangle him alive. Harry laughed out aloud not caring about the thick tension in room, "I'll rip ye'r hair if you'll turn me baby into a golf freak Niall." His baby.

Niall raises his hands in defence, "No guarantees Harold."

. . .

They had a check-up and Y/N indeed's pregnant. Harry's over the moon. Kissing her forehead. Thanking her for millionth time – to the point she told him to let her watch telly in peace and shut up. Chessie bringing her organic vegan dishes that Y/N isn't a fan of but eats nevertheless under Harry's stern gaze. "'S not about them only I want ye' to be healthy too, pet. Can't be selfish now can I?" He'd insist.

When she'd be sick he'd be at her side giving her back rubs while Chessie stood at the doorframe of washroom. Y/N thinks since she's pregnant her womanly instincts has gotten more sharp as she sensed something's off between the pair.

He'd be at her flat early morning waking her up to have a morning walk with him not giving in her grunts and whines. Who'd want to leave their crispy warm bed to just be out in the cold? A fool like Harry only. Making her brekkie afterwards as a reward giggling and massaging her shoulders when she'd gobble down food like a greedy squirrel, "Easy there love. 'S all yours."

Chessie's back at LA. They had a small argument because Harry wants her to be participating in all of this as much as he's. But, her priorities are not set for this. They never were.

Y/N was at Harry's place nibbling onto chocolate cupcakes Anne sent specifically for her with a note ("my grandchild shouldn't be privy to their Nana's bakin' skills all my love to Y/N." along a winky smiley) when she spilled cold milk all over her nooked tee-shirt. Harry gave her his clothes to change into and baby wipes but she warded him with a scoff that water exists. She has become more feisty with each passing day.

Was discarding the tee when her gaze fell over the sveltest of bump in the mirror taking her breath away. It makes her realize it's all real. She never touches her belly in fear if she'd she will never stop. Now, when the pads of her fingers skim alongs the skin it strips shivers down her spine. She always wanted this. Not in this scenario though. Shaking her head of the thoughts she slips Harry's hoodie over it climbing down the stairs and it causes Harry to snap his head in alert. He stops chopping the carrots spinning to see Y/N standing feet away from him.

"My baby bump's showing." Her voice almost a whisper and it widens Harry's pupils as his hands fell in air midway between them hesitant to reach her, "Can I see?" She bobs her head shyly cheeks blazing red while revealing the bump for Harry to see. It's not like he hasn't seen her before. He has. But, this's more intimate than all of that. It made him fall on his knees. He's a sensitive person in general. Pure from heart but during this period it seems like he's pregnant not Y/N which's quite amusing too.

"She's beautiful." His gaze full of adoration. "She?" Y/N furrows her brow with a smile. He bobbed his head with a grin, "Think so our baby's gonna be she." Now that's the problem cause Y/N doesn't know which ours he's talking about.

"My pregnancy instincts says it's he." He scoffs, "Bet!?" She rolls her eyes forwarding her fist to do the hand shake they do while betting, "If you loose your pink macbook gonna be mine." They solid the deal with their traditional shake.

"Can I touch it?" Harry's asks politely. When she gives him permission he spreads his warm palms flat against her tummy tongue tied with the affection boozing in his veins for the baby that's not out in the world yet. Y/N eyes flutters and her fingers twitches by her sides from carding them into his hair. This's wrong she scolds herself. Her hormones all over the place.

"You wanna send a picture to Chessie?" At this his lips thinned and he gave her a curt nod standing up to fetch his phone, "Sure. But she might be busy..." on the verge of spitting his words in vile.

. . .

Y/N was reading a crime mystery book. Stroking the side of her baby bump carelessly. Cosy in her blanket hoodie telly murmuring in the distance. "Your dad's taste in books is shit, innit?" She peers down with a smile. It's the first time she's talking to them. "We'll read loads of good books together so that when you'll grow up – I could know what to gift you on Christmas." She tries to grab more popcorns from the bowl but it's empty. "Wanna be best aunt out there!!"

"Will you miss me? As much as I'll when we'll be separated?" Tears well up at her waterline. She huffs through her nose running her hand down her belly several times. It's coming; the breakdown she was toiling for days. "I know it sucks I cant be your mommy." Her cravings kicking in and all she want's a strawberry oreo icecream.

"Oh no. Seriously? I'm sad and ye' lil bean want an ice? Let's call your daddy and see what he got." She rings him and he picks up on the third one. Voice groggy from the sleep. She wants to feel bad but she isn't when all her taste buds could think of is strawberry flavour.

"'M cravin' strawberry ice-cream bad. . . Is it possible for ya to bring one?" He's already throwing duvets off his body reaching for his phone and wallet, "No worries pet I'll be there in tick."

"What the fuck Harry? It's three in the mornin'." Chessie groaned from beside him throwing pillow at her face. "We already stored her fridge with alot of food — " She squints about to change the side.

"She's carrying a baby for us Chess. Ye should know better since ya didn't wanted to." She sits up like bullet folding her arms against her chest.

"Thank you for throwing it at my face, H." He doesn't even spare her a glance walking outside and Chessie wants to scream at the top of her lungs. Why did she even agreed to this?

. . .

When he bought her ice-cream she throws herself in his arms kissing his cheek and he giggled in return feeling good when her bump pressed against him. They ate ice-cream with a bantering mess discussing names of the babies, the one that Chessie and Harry decided, him telling her about the little onesies they bought hearing that Y/N stood up taking out a little bag from the chests of drawers.

"I hope you wouldn't mind." She mutters showing him the lil knitted gloves and Harry slid his palm above her's wrapping them snugly, "I don't want ye' to think ya can't love on 'em 'cos after all it's ye'r womb they belong too." Her lip wobbles at his words and she stuffs her face against his chest fisting the hem. It fred away butterflies inside Harry. He sucka his lip. He shouldn't be acting like this. He has a girlfriend that he's gonna have a baby with. They're happy or atleast he thinks so.

They've been bestfriend for years and those feelings never drowned him. Is it because now she's having his babies? Maybe? Harry tries to convince himself.

When he looks down Y/N's drooling onto his shirt deep into slumber. He pecks her hair slipping his arms under her to hold her firmly against his chest. Laying her on the bed tucking her under blankets.

. . .

It sounds like multiple thuds as doctor hovered the ultrasound device over her gelled cover belly. Her belly growing way faster than it should. Her gaze glued at the ceiling fingers crossed. Harry and Chessie holding hands tight gazes fixed at the screen both of them confused at the disoriented image. They all were on the edge of their seats waiting for their turns. Y/N wished that someone could give her a huge warm hug to soothe her nerves down. But, in the first place she shouldn't be worried about the gender as it's none of concern but theirs. It's getting hard day by day.

"It's twins!" Doctor announces chirply getting a wave of silence in return. But, soon the room filled with happy giggles and gasps of Harry as he went to hug Chessie who's expressionless from shock. Y/N pouts wishing it was her. Smiling at doctor when she squeezed her hand in consolation. She's frightened though. How could she deliver two babies? To deal with the roughness that comes along them? Gonna be pretty hectic.

"We hit a jackpot, innit?" He grins down at her kissing Chessie's cheek last time before leaning down to hug her. "Gonna be super carin' with ye' now." Y/N gives a pat to his back in return awkwardly eyeing as Chessie left the room hastily.

. . .

It rakes against the wood harshly as Chessie glided keys of Harry's house towards him without a word. He puts the baby guide book aside arching his brow, "I can't do this anymore. I want an out." Dread. Seeping down Harry's bones.

Guarding himself down he grits, "What do ya mean you want an out? We agreed with full consent of yours Chessie." She shakes her head furiously.

"I didn't sign up for two of 'em Harry I could barely be there for one!!" He puts his elbows on his knees head lowering, "But you wanted to have a family with me didn't ye'?" His eyes tearing and she throws her head back in annoyance finding it difficult to make him understand.

"No. No – No. You wanted a family! Because of your continuous protests I gave in. Told you I wasn't ready for all of this bullshit now we are here." She emphasises. Harry stands up from his seat towering her pointing a finger at her.

He's rageous. Could burn this house down. How could she be so mean? Cowarding back at the last moment.

"Don't call it bullshit." He spits full of venom for the woman he mighty love and she snaps her head other way, "Congrats she finally ruined us and couldn't be more happy – now that she's having your mother fuckin' babies." He stumbles back knocking the coffee table lungs congesting.

"Don't drag her in all of this she's innocent." She laughs ironically looking him square in eyes yelling like a maniac, "Gave her your sperms now you can't hold back from fucking her. I knew it. You were fucking her behind my back weren't you?" She thinks of him like that? A cheater? He loved her and she always thought he was cheating her.

"Don't yell. I don't want to see ye'r cruel face when I come back home." He tries not to croak mustering strength to walk away from her. Exposing himslef to freezing weather locking himself in his car and crying his heart out. Sky crying along him. He punches the steering wheel brutally shouting "why's?" Head falling atlast as he thought of all his dreams shattering at his feet.

She caged him instead of giving him shelter. Replaced the butterflies he used to get from her with a burning hell in his pit, should've been mother of his children now she's just an ex.

The excruciating part is how he's gonna tell Y/N about this? She'll be crushed.

. . .

"Oh my god . . ." It was the roar of thunder that startled her but something else took her attention away. That tinsy kick protruding the taught skin of her belly, ". . . which one of you?" She was extra happy today. It's swimming in her head. It's just a thought but sharing it with Harry wouldn't kill someone. She wanna ask him if she could've one of the babies. It's just she's too much into the moment that she forgot she still have a degree to complete. A career to pursue and a life she always wanted.

When there's a knock at door she tries to stand up with the support of armrest a hand on her back. A gasp falling from her mouth at the sight of Harry's clothes soaked and another when he looks up with bloodshot eyes. Tears dried cheeks and heaving chest seeming utterly devastated.

"Pet what happened!?" She grabs him from elbow pulling him inside and he falls onto his knees smashing his cheeks against her showing tummy -- a sob recking through him, "Harry you're scarin' me. Tell me what happened is everything okay?"

"Chessie don't want these babies - sh-she didn't wanna ruin her career but atlast agreed . . . n-n now she doesn't want 'em 'n wants an out." He stutters. White noise deafening Y/N's ears and she steps back with expressions as if she's scared. Horrified of the future.

"It means she never had complications? She just didn't wanted her body to go through all of this." When Harry didn't fill in to her inquiry she flopped onto sofa from the shock shoving her face into her palms giving out a cry of hurt at her stupidity.

"God. I'm such an idiot!" He shakes his head crawling towards her with sad eyes and lil hiccups, "No please don'tcha say that. We'll figure it out yeah? Never wanted this t'happen." God. How bad he wants her to assure him that it'll be alright.

"You'll figure out what, huh!? Leaving them just like she did!?" Swear Harry felt a dagger jabbing it's way into his heart more upsetting tears spilling down his throat. "I hate you guys. They're none of your babies from now on. . ."

"Leave." She orders him wiping her tears roughly with the sleeve of her jumper. Running out of breath with each sniffle. Raises her hand stopping him to step forward and protest, "I said leave before I make you!!" He nods inhaling breath of remorse looking at the ceiling for a second then to her.

"Before, that want ya t'know. I still want 'em. They're mine. How could I not? love 'em. Hope ya'll forgive me." Then it's just sobs of Y/N taking over the buzz of telly as the door ticks. He didn't leave though. He's too afraid to. His back sliding against her door knees closing against his chest letting it all dawn upon him. His green luscious orbs hooding with sadness and the fluff of his curls.

Dunno if Y/N would be able to forgive him.

. . .

He woke up to a boot nudging to his thigh squinting up to find Niall stating down at him with consoling eyes. Poor Harry slept in the hallway. His neck sore and limbs stoned.

"Heard it 'lad. Was suspicious with Chessie long way." He helps Harry stand up patting his shoulders, "Y/N called ye'?" He grogs rubbing his eye with knuckles. When Niall confirms he quips with pleading eyes in a low whisper knowing he'll get his hair ripped if that furious little mama bunny will find him outside.

"Ye' think she'll forgive meh?" Niall chuckles to light up the situation, "'course H. Do ya think our pet's that ruthel—" He bites his tongue. Harry's gaze following the snap of his neck when the door opened revealing Y/N in a lilac chunky sweater. Puffy eyes and swollen lips. Harry feeling like a dickhead at her condition. It's all his fault. Then their eyes fall at the piping hot cuppa of tea in her hand.

With a stoic face she hands it to Harry and pulls Niall inside slamming the door at curly boy's face. So, she knew he was there sharing a door with her the whole night.

. . .

"Isn't it a good thing thou, love?" Niall smiles. He's chill in all of this. Watching it unwrap. They were meant for eachother Niall thinks so, "You wanted one of 'em and ended up havin' a whole bean can." She groans throwing her peach plushie at his chest. A smile swirming up her lips at his silly statement now that she's more stable less sad.

"You're the absolute worst, Ni!" He holds her cold hands tugging her close to make her look, "Want ya to forgive H. He did nothin' wrong, pet." When she pouts ruffling the silk strands of her rug with her feet he grabs her chin.

"Remember how happy he was? Don't go mad on him yeah?" She bobs her head not meeting his gaze. Meanwhile, there's knock at the door and Niall takes it laughing to himself softly at the box of doughnuts with a note.

"What is it?" He's already flopping beside her hooking his nimble finger around the white doughnut with rainbow sprinkles, "If I'd have known pregnant ladies gets treated this way. Would be havin' one baby every year." She smacks him in belly and unlatches the note reading it with a sucked lip.

Ye'r antenatal class's tommorrow. Don't forget to take ye vitamins :)

How gentle, calm and optimistic Harry could be needles her some.

. . .

Harry's waiting for her in the car fiddling with the radio. He isn't gonna lie. He's been going through a heartbreak. To cope with it he wants to accompany Y/N in her parent craft classes. When she waddles towards his car cosied up in a yellow baggy sweater and a cardigan Harry remembers she stole from him ages ago he mighty scrunched his nose in adoration at her cuteness.

Her nose pink and cheeks flushing as she slips into her seat, "Can you stop bringin' me stuff. I know how to take care of myself." She nips at him when he forwards her a kale smoothie. He doesn't seem to mind. Both, of them knows very well she's trying to avoid drinking it. She finds it yucky!

"Wanna take care of ya'll is all." He mumbles putting it in her side's cup holder. Ya'll .She regrets it instantly. Damn his puppy eyes!

. . .

"Mr. Styles and . . . Miss Y/N." The instructor calls them and they both raises their hand awkwardly as if in elementary school. "You're the parents of twin right?" She asks. Y/N wanted to say that their supposed to be parent ran off from the fear. But, she couldn't. Could never. It'll be like rubbing salt to his wounds. Bestfriends don't do that shit even in their most anger.

"Yes." She confirms. When Harry didn't. Scared if he might say something wrong. "Ok then! Lay your mats n' have a seat." Harry guides her with the little of his hand on her back. Her shoulder nudging his taut chest, and goosebumps pimples at her skin when his fingers brushes the side of her belly as he helps her sit down.

She takes an all rounder of the room and none of the parents looks like they're here to prepare for war unlike them. She shyly waves at the two mothers beside her and Harry twinges his lip equally flustered as her.

They start with relaxation and breathing exercises. Telling Y/N to let herself loose in Harry's arms. She fumbles with the hem of her sweater when his fingers gingerly winked at her sides and the lull of his breath hit her earlobe.

"Can ya stop breathing like, THAT!?" She whisper yells twisting to give him a sharp glare full of spleen elbow poking at his side abs, "Like what!?" He half squeaks peering down at her with doe eyes palms flat at sides to convey his surprise.

"Like a train engine whistling -- it's annoying." She mutters rolling her eyes and turning back to listen to instructor. "Now, I can't even breath without ye' comin' fo' me throat?" He grits with a kink of brows and when she confirms with a no --- He gasps dramatically. He hates her hormones little bitches.

It's gonna be a long journey of Hell for them.

. . .

"Are you hungry?" He asks turning the heat on knowing how cold her feet could get in the span of seconds. She huffs trying to buckle her belt and it squirms a fond smile out of him at her cute effort to be put in place due to her bump. If he'd coo. She'd rip him into tiny bits. It's better if he gazes away.

"Does it mean emptying your pocket?" She arches her brow sinking into her seat. "Bitso. . " He chuckles softly drumming at the steering wheel.

"Then I'd love to." She adds with a smirk. Clasping her hands atop her heart outta excitement. It makes him shake his poof of hickorey curls at her silliness.

They end up taking a takeout of onion loaded cheese burgers. Greasy fries. An iced-tea and a box of cookies from Babara's shop a block away from Harry's house.

"Wanna choose fo' ye'rself?" He asked her before going inside and she denied with a worried expression. Not knowing how she'll explain all of this to Babara who's her one of the good friends from UNI. Harry respects that. If she isn't ready to talk about it he isn't gonna pressurize her. They've been dodging the serious talk since she let him take to parental classes. Knows one day or another they've to decide how it's all gonna work.

. . .

Good food can make you more high than actual drugs. Licking their fingers off now they feel all sleepy and lazy sitting on the comfortable sofa watching telly with hooded eyes.

Harry's cheek smushed adorably against her baby bump ears tuned into what his babies are talking about.

"You know what? 'S not about winners or loosers. Bu' I won." She bubble hiccups slumping deeper with sugar rush hitting her. "Huh? Harry mumbles eyes drooping. The cotton balls of snowflakes glittering outside, collecting at the window and foging them up.

"I get to have babies of my bestfriend and this nice foodddd — 'n what did Chessie got? No babies and no happy feeling of being their mother." Harry shots up from his snooze blinking up at her and she quickly takes it back regret eating her alive, "'m sorry it slipped."

"No!!" He almost shouts cupping her cheeks making her look at him. His dimples deeps that someone could scoop them like an ice-cream. He gives her an eskimo kiss that makes her veins run with glittery blood.

"I wan' ye' to be the mother of me babies." No hesitation. No dithering. Just him asking for the tinsy bit of her heart. For her forgiveness. For the love they've kept blind eye for years. "We'll figure this out, yeah?" He murmurs their lips brushing and breaths kissing. Pulling back with a forehead kiss.

She lives for forehead kisses makes her shallow tin heart explode with glittery firecrackers.

She nods to give him the affirmation that she wants what he wants.

.

[hot-wiings]

Homophobia, Transphobic, Deadnaming, Misgendering.

The One Where Shouta’s Boyfriend Keeps Getting Deadnamed and Misgendered.

Requested By: Wattpad User

Edited: 1-4-2021

The mall was full to the brim. Several people bustled about, walking by without a care in the world. Bumping into each other they went by, some not caring, some muttering out little apologies. You tried to keep a tight hold of your boyfriend's hand as to not get separated and lost amongst a sea of people. It was always extremely busy right after new years. Everyone rushed to the stores to return bad gifts that they didn't like or didn't fit, and overall, everything went on sale. Despite the rush, it was always worth the trip.

"You got the list?"

"Yup. First, we should hit 'Dicks Sporting Goods'. We can probably get a really good deal on a new sleeping bag for you, it's kinda old."

"Hey, don't respect her like that."

Shouta scowled down at you as he tore the list of things you needed to search for out of your hands to look at it himself. He wasn't all too sure what you needed to get, and he wanted to prioritize his time by hitting all the stores in a correct time manner. Underwear, Christmas candy from 'Sugar Daddy's Candies' to save for Valentine's day, new binder.

"Give that back, I made the list, only I get to look at it."

You quickly plucked the list out of Shouta's hands and stuffed it in your pocket, crinkling and tearing it a little in the process. Your shoulders slumped and you stared at your feet as you tried to calm yourself down. This wasn't something new, Shouta knew what you were. Shouta knew you weren't born a male but rather a female. He knew you didn't have male genital parts and he knew you used a binder to help rid yourself of your breasts. Despite him knowing it, having him look at your shopping list, one that listed a binder, made you feel self-conscious you still weren't use to sharing this side of yourself with someone.

Your whole life you were repressed from that part of yourself. Your parents, your siblings, your entire family didn't give you that kind of respect. They never respected your pronouns or your new name. They never respected or accepted you. You never came to know that kind of respect and acceptance in your life until you became a hero and began working for UA. Shouta stopped his walking, making an abrupt stop causing you to look up at him in confusion.

"You know I don't care about your binders right? They're something you need, a necessity. It's not something you need to be ashamed of or hide. It's part of you, if you need a new one then that's the first store we'll stop at."

Shouta wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him so you were leaning into him as you walked across the mall, closer to the store that sold good quality binders. They were a bit pricey, but with the post-holiday sale, everything should've been cheaper. A smile slid across your lips as you leaned into Shouta. You didn't know why you got so worked up and insecure over your identity. He wasn't going to judge you. he wasn't going to shame you or stop loving you.

"You're a really good boyfriend, you know that?"

"Yeah, but I like it better when I hear it coming from my boyfriend."

Right as you were about to bring up Shouta's sleeping bag again, and the possibility of buying a new one for him, someone knocks into you practically sending you to the ground. Shouta was quick to jump into action and grab the back of your shirt to pull on and help you get back onto your feet before you fell on the ground. The person who knocked into you adjusted themselves and gathered their bags before mumbling out an apology.

"I am so sorry ma'am- [Birth Name]? [Birth Name] Is that you? I haven't seen you in forever!"

The mall was busy, but not busy enough. The mall was huge, but not huge enough. You wanted the world to swallow you up. Out of all the malls in Japan, all of the busy malls on one of the busiest days of the year, why did your mother have to come to this one? There was a reason the woman in front of you hadn't seen you in forever. There was a reason you never came around for dinner or holidays, there was a reason you never introduced your family to your boyfriend.

"Hi, mom, it's been a while."

"You should come home for dinner sometime, I and your father really miss our baby girl."

Your mother pulled you into a hug. It was unwelcomed and poorly returned. You didn't want to hug her, but you didn't want to make a scene in public, and certainly not in front of your boyfriend. At an early age, you learned it was easier to just give in to your mother and play nice until you could get away from her. Shouta could notice your tightened and stiff body. He could see the tight smile on your face as you pulled away from her. He could tell how you wanted to get away from her, he wanted to pull you away from this woman, but he didn't want to offend you. You're a pro hero, you can fight your own battles.

"I will, it's just been really busy right now."

You won't. You wouldn't ever come home willingly. It's such a lie, but it'll get her off of your back. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can ignore her. The sooner you can go back to not having a mother. Shouta watched as your mother moved your hair and smiled at you. You kept smiling back with that tight and pained smile. It was the kind of smile you used when a villain was beating you. The kind of smile you had when you were on the battlefield, struck with such pain but not wanting the press to see you weak. Shouta knew what you were doing. Pretend it's okay, pretend it's okay, and she'll leave. Pretend to be okay and pretend to be who you aren't.

"I'm sorry but you must have us mistaken for someone else. This is [Y/N], and he is a man."

His words come out so bluntly and you wince. You just wanted her to go. If you didn't engage in correcting her, she'd leave sooner. You didn't want Shouta to correct her, yet something inside your chest swelled and churned as he corrected her.

"I'm glad my daughter has made such darling friends at her new job, but you should know [Birth Name] isn't a boy, not really."

"Really, and what constitutes a boy? [Y/N] has a male name, and he dresses like a boy. Most importantly, he chooses to identify as a boy."

"Well-"

Shouta links your hands together and your fingers laced into each other. He rubbed his thumb into you in a circular comforting motion and your stiffened body began to loosen up more. You were so afraid of your mother, so afraid of her from years of living with her. It was okay, you didn't have to be afraid. You weren't a little frightened, defenseless, and scared girl anymore, you were a man, and a strong pro-hero.

"For the record, he's not my darling little friend, he's my darling gay boyfriend, and right now we're on our way to get me a new binder. Goodbye, mother."

You don't wait for her reply, you don't wait to see her reaction. You turn around and tug Shouta with you. You pull your boyfriend along with you to 'Trans-Trendy Outfitters' with a small smile on your face. You weren't little anymore, you weren't weak and small, you were a hero. This wasn't something you had to be ashamed of, this was something that made you, you.

"Thanks, Shouta, I- I don't think I would have stood up for myself if it wasn't for you."

"[Y/N], I love you and who you are. It's not right for her to dead name you like that, and you shouldn't be misgendered like that either. Don't give me credit though, you just needed a little push."

Shouta accepted you. He accepted and respected you. Your mother didn't matter, your family didn't matter. He was there and he accepted you when your family didn't. That was enough for you.

[shelby-love]

KELLY SEVERIDE

Poor Defense

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: Happy ending obviously! xx

"Babe are you sure that you're alright?" You ask him for the fifth time. You're standing outside his car, watching him join you outside like a hwak.

Your boyfriend Kelly just doesn't seem to be okay. You watch him grab your duffle bag along with his. Usually that's not a problem for him but you see him strain his shoulder. His face says it all.

"No, I got it. You don't have to." You reach for your duffle bag.

"What do you mean? It's not a problem babe seriously. Let me." You sigh in defeat and grab his free hand. You part ways in the locker room and you join Shay in the ambo.

"Did you notice anything weird about Kelly?" You ask her. You're sitting at the floor of the ambulance and spying on him with the jump bag next to you. Making it easy for you to switch your eyes to it and act like you're not spying on him but rather doing your job.

He's at the squad table, bickering with Capp like nothing in the world is wrong or at least slightly twisted.

"What do you mean?" She tries to play it smooth. Of course she knows. The guilt has been eating her alive.

"Hm. That's weird." You suddenly say. The subject that is your boyfriend drops and you focus on the jump bag next to you.

"What's weird?"

"We're missing some painkillers. But I'm sure I ordered them." You sigh. Explaining that to main tower is going to be a pain in the ass. "Never mind. We'll figure it out."

"Okay I can't do it anymore." She sighs in defeat before throwing the last of the towels inside and sitting down next to you.

"Can't do what Shay?" You ask your partner. Shay is stressed and scared. But for what?

"He's not okay Y/N."

"Who's not okay?"

"Kelly!" She exclaims. "He went to check his injury and the doctor told him that they will need to operate and he won't be able to work for a year. Ever since then I've been helping him."

"You took the meds?!" You're shocked beyond words at this point. Not only was your boyfriend hiding a serious injury from you, he was also using his best friend and putting her in danger of losing her job. Hell even you were at risk now! "Les this can cost us our jobs!"

"I know! It's just... He's so stubborn and I was afraid that he was going to take the matter into his own hands."

Damn his stubbornness! "I will take his stubbornness and shove it so far up his-"

"Hey girlies." Brian Zvonecek interrupts you innocently. "Do you have any towels to spear?"

***

"When were you going to tell me?" You just barged into your boyfriend's private room and now you demand answers.

"Tell you what babe?"

"That your shoulder is getting worse and that you made Shay steal meds from the ambo just so you can work and risk your life." You tell him that in one single breath, with ears red as a tomato. You're angry and disappointed in him.

His face said it all. Busted.

"Look baby..." He stood up with caution. "This was just a one time thing. I'm fine now. I really am."

"No Kelly I don't think you are."

***

You have free time and you decide to use it to make up with Kelly. After what happened at the firehouse you didn't exactly find it in you to talk to him without bringing up the injury and starting a fight.

You wrecked your brain for possible explanations and after putting yourself in Kelly's shoes you decided to forgive him. He explained himself enough for you to build up the trust once more.

"Babe?" You walk around your shared apartment in hopes of finding him somewhere convenient enough to talk things out.

"In the shower!"

His reply is loud and clear. His off limits to talk now.

When you walk into the spacious bedroom it's almost like the air is completely different. Something seems off. You notice his jacket that lies on the bed, probably because he's headed somewhere.

While the shower runs in the background you take his jacket into his eyes and instinctively search through its pockets. You were never the type to rummage through his belongings but you felt like it needed to be done.

What you found shocked you. Pills.

Much stronger and illegal medication. 5 times the strength from the ones Shay took from the ambulance. You had one question in mind: Where did he get this?

Feeling your blood boil at the newfound sight you reach for his phone without a second thought. Someone must've gotten this for him and you were going to find out who.

Calls were a dead end and you quickly turned to look through his messages. The newest contact being someone named Anna.

It's obvious the moment you scroll through their conversation. A conversation way to long for your liking that started just a day after you confronted him about it.

You feel betrayed. He promised he would do the surgery.

You throw his phone back on his nightstand and fish through your pockets for your own. The moment you have it you swipe through your contacts and press call. "Yes?"

"Les who is Anna?" You ask her. The human encyclopedia for Kelly's past flings and girlfriends.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because..." You make sure to quickly hide in the kitchen so he doesn't hear you. "I just found out that he's still using pills. Illegal and stronger meds. And I know it's not you because you and I both don't have access to this kind of stuff."

"Uh..."

"I went through his phone and before you tell me how I shouldn't have done that... I had every right to protect him from risking his life because he's so freaking stubborn!" You huff into the phone. You clutch the meds in your hand until they're almost grinded into powder. "The name's Anna."

"Oh Jesus..." You hear her sigh. "An old flame and pharmaceutical rep. They never slept together but he did kiss her."

You start to see red. "I figured as much."

After taking a deep breath you bid Shay your goodbyes and start to pack your bags.

"Y/N-"

"Save it." You place the last of your shirts into the duffle bag. Ready to fly out of the apartment.

"Why?"

"Why?! Are you serious right now?" You ask him angrily. "You know what Kelly? I should've reported you for taking unprescribed medicine the moment I found out! No actually I should've reported you for making Shay steal them for you.

I can't believe I thought you were going to do the surgery. I stayed quiet knowing that your little stunt could cost me my job-"

"But you didn't do anything."

"Exactly! I didn't do anything to stop it. In the eyes of the whole CFD I am a careless paramedic in charge that doesn't take inventory seriously and instead allows firefighters to take whichever meds they prefer to themselves. Add my romantic relationship with the firefighter in question to the mix and my career is gone! Poof."

After a few deep breaths you zip your duffle bag. "I am not mad that you went to your ex fling for help. I am mad that you lied to me. You made me think everything was alright and when I found out you promised me that you would do the surgery. Not for me but for yourself and us. Yet again. You lied."

Knowing that staying in the same room with him for a second longer would make you stay, you decide to stalk out of the room and the whole apartment, leaving your own keys in the kitchen so you don't get tempted to come back.

***

"Shay let me in c'mon." Kelly banged on the door of Shay's apartment knowing that you were inside. "I need to talk to her."

The man you call the love of your life wasn't going to give up and both of you knew it. Frantically, with both hands in the air and if possible both legs too, Shay mouthed "What do I do?"

You nod towards the door, "Open the door."

She mouths back. "Are you sure?"

"Hey! Stop mouthing to each other and open the damn door!"

"Damn you Kelly!" Leslie shouts at him before opening the door and dissappearing into her room with a loud slam of the door.

It's been two weeks since you "moved out". You didn't give him the time of your day at work but the time you spent apart was eating you alive. Killing you actually.

His handsome self barges into the living room and spots you on the couch. Curled in a ball with tea in your hands and a blanket over you. The silent battle of eyes stops when he takes three long strides towards you and pulls you in for a kiss. A kiss that feels like homecoming.

You pull away flushed to the bone and encourage him to take a seat next to you. You place the blanket over his lap like you always do. Some things die hard.

"I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"The surgery Y/N. I'll do it."

Your mouth falls open in an 'O'. "So you're not here to ask me to move back in?Cause I'm still paying rent for that place."

He chuckles in a way that makes you weak in the knees. "You didn't let me get to that part."

"What made you get a change of heart?" You place your steaming hot tea on the glass coffee table and make yourself comfortable on the couch, your eyes never leaving his.

"You." He said simply. It made you blush against your will. "And the pain. It's horrible."

A bubble of laughter escapes your lips. "I love it when I make you laugh."

His statement caught you off guard making you blush even more. "I'm supposed to have a better defense."

"No you don't." With that he placed his index finger under your chin and lulled you into him. He spoke a soft apology in the kiss and you accepted it by kissing him back.

"Let's go home." Kelly whispered. Sorry shining in his eyes.

"Okay."

This time it was you leaned in for a kiss.

MASTERLIST

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

The kids pt 2

BB: we're back all you weirdos that enjoy senpai's blog! Here again to show you the kiddos with this convoluted lore dump of post Chaldea life for senpai and his family!

Mari: please, stop talking in such a stupid way...

BB, ignoring her: a lots happen since the last time we did this! We even learned where lovely lil Maria's name came from. And daaaaww, wasn't that a sweet story?

Ed: BB, can we please get started? Sis is eyeing that water bottle and I'm afraid of what she'll do with it and our computer if you don't hurry.

BB: fine fine! Dang Mari you are just no fun huh? Anyways, just like before we're discussing the others who got a second chance at life and how they're viewed through the eyes of these two! So who first? How about, my lil darlings! The first 3 members of the Sakura 5!

Mari: why only the first 3?

BB: spoilers!

Mari: stupid. Well we've seen that Melt became a famous ice skating performer. We don't see her much but the few times we do it's pretty nice.

Ed: sometimes she acts like a big shot celebrity out in the open, but she seems more humble around us.

BB: yeah, that's melty for ya. I gave her a good amount of tsun! Have you seen the picture of her before this tho?

Mari: yeah... pretty weird. Why did you give her huge blades for legs and no hands?

BB: I guess it's just a part of my twisted lil personality!

Ed: and you wonder why Mom wants you gone from our computers.

Mari: and Lip seems happy, she's found love with someone, and her partner seems to truly love her. So that's nice.

Ed: and she's changed even more from before. No huge metal claws and a slimmer body.

Mari: again, wtf BB?

BB: pls stop asking me questions.

Ed: and Protea is also happily in a more normal body then before. But for her it was just too big.

Mari: she still acts like a Kaiju sometimes.

BB: yes, those three are in such happy lives. As their mother I'm so happy for them.

Mari: stop lying or I'm pouring root beer all over the computer.

BB: do not! Moving devices is a pain in the ass!

BB: *sigh* anyways, whose next? Hmmm... what about lil miss Gorgon?

Mari: we don't see her much, the only times we do she's forcefully dragged by mom and her friends.

Ed: and she's always hiding her face and such. She has self esteem issues for some reason.

BB: yeah, and those reasons are called "Stheno" and "Euryale"

Mari: such shitty sisters. Where do they get off messing with 'Dusa about her height?

BB: who knows?

Ed: she isn't even that tall... mom's taller and she's never self conscious.

BB: have you not heard the heaps of praise your father gives her about that?! It's so much I get sick hearing it!

Mari: oh be quiet! What I wouldn't give to have such a beautiful relationship!

Ed: woah! This is the first time hearing you say something like that!

Mari: ...well yeah... when I was young I kinda did that silly kid thing of being grossed out by their affection. It was so much I honestly thought they overdid it in front of us just to mess with us. But growing up... and seeing them still like that and the old videos from Chaldea and how everyone else talks about them... that's real genuine love! I hope one day to find a partner like that.

Ed: yeah, I'm so happy we were born into a genuinely loving family! Sometimes I hear stories of kids born because their parents thought it'd save their relatives, when they should've gone to therapy or something instead!

BB: this conversations nice and all but can we get back on topic? It's almost time for you to walk the lil mutts.

Mari: right... now who?

BB: well speaking of mutts, what about that lil dog Lobo?

Ed: lil!? He's huge! Biggest wolf I've ever seen!

Mari: and they said he was bigger back in chaldea too! Like holy crap!

BB: yeah, he got huge.

Mari: now he's at this wolf sanctuary and seems to be fine with humans now.

Ed: yeah, and he's found a nice mate again. White just like La Blanca!

Mari: you think he used his grail wish to be reunited with her? And she's the same wolf?

BB: why wouldn't that be cute? Anyways, let's do one last servant. Hmmm... actually! Why don't you talk about your dear 'ol mother?

Mari: mom? OK, I guess technically that'd fit.

Ed: well after she reincarnated she became a famous luchadora! She was an unstoppable force in the ring!

Mari: yeah, she was unbeatable! Never suffering a single defeat for her whole career!

BB: buuuuut! She retired! Care to say why?

Ed: well... after she became pregnant with us... she had to leave the ring.

Mari: and... the responsibility of taking care of us didn't allow for time to return to fighting... so she hasn't come back since.

BB: yeah, that's the thing about childcare, it can get in the way of other things.

???: BB, you better not be messing with the children!

Mari: oh hey mom!

Ed: what's going on?

Quetz: it's time to walk the dogs, come on your father's already outside!

Mari: crap! Sorry!

Ed: we're going now!

After the kids went out, Quetz had more words for the ai.

Quetz: you just can't help but try to mess around huh?!

BB: all I did was tell the truth! Can't control their reactions!

Quetz: do this again and I'm burning every device you've been in! I don't care if we lose some data, you're gone if you go too far!

BB: fine! Don't need to take it that far!

Quetz: this is you were dealing with here

Rex, from outside: mi corazon! Come on!

Quetz: coming!

Quetz then goes outside to join the family

A/N: more of the kiddos. Along with what Quetz got up to in between this and Chaldea. BB can get a bit too Mischievous at times.

Tags

@hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasishtardoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @nureenarts @kierakaz @valiantstrawberrymilk

[bobasheebaby]

91 Lucifer prompts

Some of my favorite quotes from my favorite devil. (Cut at 15 cause it’s long.)

Lucifer Morningstar

1 “People don’t arrive broken. They start with passion and yearning until something comes along that disabuses them of those notions.”

2 “People don’t have power over us. We give it to them.” 

3 “The best thing to do is always to follow your greatest desire.”

4 “Sometimes we are what we are, and we should embrace that.”

5 “Desire shouldn’t be contained, it’s unnatural.” 

6 “Why do humans think they can rectify one evil with another?”

7 “Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

8 “Believe me, there is no winning when you play by a twisted tyrant’s rules.” 

9 “You shouldn’t have to change for anyone. And neither should I.” 

10 “I refuse to be a scapegoat for which something I bear no responsibility. It’s a theme in my life.”

11 “Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know evil.”

12 “If you desire something, just take it.”

13 “Trust me, if there’s one thing I know, it’s desire.”

14 “What I hate more than anything is a liar, a charlatan, someone who doesn’t believe in what they say.”

15 “Hell truly hath no fury like a man/woman scorned.”

16 “No one gives us the right… we take it.”

17 “Mmm, dangerous. NAME likes.”

18 “There was immediate danger. He/she was about to leave this man/woman completely unsatisfied.”

19 “When in doubt, go with the classics. That’s what I always say.”

20 “Guilt is such a useless emotion”

21 “Take a swing and I’ll shove that so far up your ass, you’ll have splinters in your stool.”

22 “What makes us vulnerable is often right under our noses.”

23 “Now tell me, what is it that you truly desire?”

24 “Well, maybe it’s like butt stuff. Easier the second time around.”

25 “It’s always the ones you least suspect, the ones you trust the most, that hurt you. They wait until your guard is down and then wham! In my case, it was tequila.”

Chloe Decker

26 “It’s better to move forward than stay stuck in the past.” 

27 “We can’t control what happens to us only how it affects us and the choices we make.”

28 “You have to stop taking responsibility for things that you can’t control.” 

29 “Sometimes we get along best with the people we’re most different from.”

30 “Pull yourself together. You look like a homeless magician!”

31 “It’s really not a good day for… your… NAMEness”

32 “You don’t save a marriage by sleeping with other people.”

33 “If you go looking for loopholes, you’ll always find them.”

34 “NAME’s not another guy/gal. He’s/She’s a weirdo.”

35 “As any parent knows, the best time to get things done is when everyone else is asleep.”

36 “I wasn't afraid of you.”

37 “I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you.” “No, that's... that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not... I'm not afraid of you anymore.” “You're not?” “You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke.”

38 “I miss him/her. I mean, he/she pisses me off all the time. And there are so many things about him/her that ... that I find hard to accept, but I just have to believe I can find a way. Because ... I'd rather have him/her in my life than not.” “Well, then... I think you know what you need to do.”

39 “You're different than me. You're stronger. You could have run, but you didn't. Why didn't you?”

40 “It's not like you haven't always told me the truth. You know? So ... I think, deep down, I just ... I always knew.”

41 “Let's pretend for one second that you're someone else. Someone nice, someone mature.” “Ooh, I love role-play.”

42 “What, you're just gonna leave me here? In this part of town?” “You said you wanted danger.”

43 “Please tell me I'm hallucinating.” “Well, I am dreamy, but try to contain yourself.”

44 “You step out of line one time …” “You can give me a right-good spanking, I promise.”

45 “This cannot be true. Can it? I mean ... if you knew this, why wouldn't you say something? I mean, I almost married him/her. I mean, I almost married him/her.” “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.”

46 “Oh, my God. Did the world just turn upside down? Did you just admit to being wrong?”

47 “You know, it can be scary sometimes, but ... being who you really are is never a bad idea.”

48 “I need you to stay here and watch your dad/mom.” “That's true. Without the two of us, he’s/she's defenseless.” “I don't know if I like what you're whispering about.”

49 “How long have I been out?” “Three years.” “What?!” [NAME starts laughing] “You’re such an ass.”

50 “I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up all night working, and, you know, I drank a lot of caffeine. Like, a lot.”

Mazikeen Smith

51 “If you go by someone else’s pace, it shows how much you really care.”

52 “Sometimes you have to accept when someone doesn’t feel the same way about you.” 

53 “Self-worth comes from within, bitches.” 

54 “I would never ask you to change. I like who you are.” 

55 “Hey! No one calls my skank a skank.” 

56 “Good. It's settled. Now, where do I put my knives.”

57 “Okay. One, I like to fight when I'm happy or ... horny. And, two, I really don't want to accidentally kill my best friend.”

58 “Maybe next time, I won't be around to save your ass.” “Mm! Well, that is a shame. 'Cause you and my backside used to get on very well. My front side, as well, actually.”

59 “And your name?” “NAME.” “How do you spell that?” “Surprise me.” [Later gets coffee with "WRONG NAME" on it]

60 “Everything that happened showed me exactly why I need to go back.” “I don't understand.”

Linda Martin

61 “Emotions are hard, but that’s why they make you strong.” 

62 “Goodness isn’t a toy.”

63 “Sometimes we need to lose something to understand its value.”

64 “Sometimes it’s easier to make intimate issues about something bigger than yourself.” 

65 “I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives. Terrified of not being in control.”

66 “Look... I know I'm not dad/mom, or partner or whatever. But I ...” “No. No, you're not. Come here. You are Uncle/Auntie NAME. And you will always ... be a member of this family.”

67 “Let's talk about what you're dealing with emotionally.” “Yeah, I really don't want to.”

68 “Why is he:she able to refuse my charms? I mean, is this thing on?” [points at him/herself] “Yes, yes. Definitely on.”

69 “How's that saying go? We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars.”

70 “Should've seen that one coming.”

Amenadiel

71 “We need the most love when we’re being most unlovable.” 

72 “No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain. We suffer, or inflict.”

73 “Cosmos are yummy.”

74 “If you really want to know if you’re a worthy romantic partner, ask yourself.”

75 “NAME. What are you doing here? Did you hurt NAME?” “Only when he/she asked me nicely.”

Ella Lopez

76 “Whenever I’m procrastinating on something, I make an appointment for myself to do it. That way, can’t back out.”

77 “You see what I'm dealing with?”

78 “Hey. No one insults my family, except for me.”

79 [high on "candy"] “I know I should be freaking out right now, but your hair is so shiny.”

80 I'm usually not into reality shows either. I prefer more, you know, scripted-content, documentaries, but... I've got a little extra time these days, so... sort of kind of watched, uh, 27 seasons in two weeks.

Dan Espinoza 

81 “We all need someone to have our backs every now and then.”

82 “Ooh, lemon bars. My favorite. Mmm. Oh, man, these are amazing. Who made 'em?” “Uh, NAME did. Would you believe that hunk bakes?” [spits out the bars] “On second thought, who needs the empty calories?”

83 “Say you fall in love with a man/woman who has a cat. What are you gonna do? You accept the cat.” 

84 “Are you sleeping with this idiot?” “He/She hasn't had the pleasure, unfortunately, no.”

85 “Dude, I cannot deal with your weirdness right now.”

Trixie Espinoza

86 “We’re wearing the same shirt!” [both] “Sushi shirt!” [from around the corner] “I don’t know what’s going on out there, but I hate it!”

87 “I ate it.” “Mm-hmm.” “But NAME said it was okay.” “Oh, really?” “He/She said, if you really want to do something, you should. And I really wanted to eat some chocolate cake.”

88 “Are you looking at a no-no site?” “No. Why would you think that?” “Because you put it away so fast, and you look really, really guilty.”

89 “NAME, sever their Achilles first. If they can't walk ...” “They can't betray you.”

90 “You need to get a thicker skin. Stand up for yourself, because the truth is, nobody’s gonna do it for you.” — Charlotte Richards

91 “Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you … you.” — Ev

[wilsonzuko]

this is set post 15x20. too many things were left unexplained in the finale so this is my way of coping with it and trying to make sense of it all.

Dean

He doesn't get it. He's here in heaven, he's at peace (he'll admit he was sad about not getting the chance to work at the job he'd interviewed for, but he's made his peace with it by now. Mostly.), He has Sam by his side, hell he even has Bobby, the Harvelles, even his parents... So why does something still feel amiss?

He thinks he knows deep down what it is though, or atleast a big guess about it. He was in denial at first, in shock. Then elated, when he heard Bobby say, "Well, Cas helped." But he never questioned it more and now he regrets that he didn't. He should've asked.. hell, he should've gone looking... But he didn't and now he regrets it.

He regrets it because he hasn't seen Castiel since... since. He remembers the shock and happiness he felt at hearing Castiel's voice and then the hurt and disappointment at realising it wasn't him. He misses him.

What should he do? Sam says he should go looking for him. Should pray. Should he? Will Castiel answer? If Cas is alive, and apparently helped Jack (God?) help build heaven then he must be alive, right? Right? He should try, yes, he will do that.

"That won't be necessary, Dean."

Castiel

"Goodbye, Dean."

That was the last thing he remembered before he woke up in an empty white room. Well, until he turned around and saw Jack. After that everything was a bit blurry.

He remembers hugging Jack, he remembers catching up with what happened after he was taken by the Empty, he remembers hugging Jack again and thanking him for saving the universe, and Sam and Dean. Oh. Dean.

After the initial high of being brought back by his son and then helping him fix heaven, after the adrenaline crash, when it all wears down, and he has a moment to sit back and just be, he thinks.

He thinks about Dean and the way they left things the last time they saw each other. He thinks—

Oh. He's here. (Does that mean he.. he died? Is he dead and up here in heaven? How did he die? Was it painful? Was he alone? He hopes not. He hopes he had atleast Sam with him.)

His thoughts take a fresh new turn. Now he's scared, shy. He wants to go see Dean, he wants to hug him and welcome him into heaven with open arms, he wants to tell him he rebuilt heaven for him, he wants. But he's scared.

He's always been unsure about Dean's feelings towards him, he was never fully sure if Dean ever even reciprocated. If he was ever any more than a "brother" or a bestfriend to Dean. So he's scared.

Dean's here and he hasn't looked for him, called for him or even prayed for him. Maybe he doesn't know about Castiel being alive. But he found Bobby, when he finished rebuilding. Bobby must've told him, right? If he does.. and he still hasn't looked for him... Well then. Castiel is right to be scared.

That's it. He has decided he will leave Dean alone and let him live out the rest of eternity happily and peacefully in heaven. He won't bother him anymore. He loves Dean, so he will let him g—

What's that?

Castiel has felt happiness a lot in his life, especially after becoming a family to the Winchesters. But he doesn't think he's ever felt this kind of happiness before. This.. this is something else, a pure kind of relief, the kind he has only ever felt when he's felt Dean's longing for him. The same longing that he felt just now. Though, with an undercurrent of something else he's afraid to even hope for but hopes for it nonetheless.

He rethinks his decision. Takes flight before any doubt settles in.

Dean

"Hey, Cas."

That feeling is gone.

"Hello, Dean."

He doesn't feel anything missing anymore.

"I.. Where have you been?"

"Here. Waiting for someone. You."

He's truly home now.

Before he says anything else, Dean steps and trips on his feet, but that's not his fault. Shut up. closer and pulls Cas into a tight hug. He buries his face in the crook of Castiel's neck and feels his eyes well up with tears. He missed him.

"Dean, I—"

"Shut up. I love you. I love you, Cas. How could you ever think otherwise? I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I'm sorry I ever made you doubt your worth to me. You mean so much more to me than you realise, you know that you stupid self-sacrificing bastard? I tried telling you in purgatory but your dumbass didn't let me speak then. Or when you summoned the Empty and then pushed me aside and never gave me the chance to say it back. Never do that again, you understand?"

"I do. I'm sorry."

This time it's Cas who extends his arms for a hug and Dean doesn't hesitate before falling into him. He feels wetness on his shoulder and hugs the angel in his arms tighter. He's never going to let him go. (He will thank Jack later for everything.)

When they break apart, Dean just looks at Castiel for a minute. There's an overwhelming feeling building up in his chest and he doesn't know what to do with it, so he follows his instinct and steps closer to Castiel. He looks at Dean, a question in his eyes and that familiar head tilt, and Dean feels a heart shattering adoration as leans closer and places a soft kiss on Castiel's forehead. They stay like that for a while, until–

He pauses. "How did you..?"

"Find you just now? I felt it when you longed to pray to me."

"Oh. That obvious?"

"No. Just that powerful."

He looks down. What now?

"Thank you, Dean."

He looks up. For what?

"For what?"

"For everything."

Oh. Why is his heart trying to jump out of his chest.. this is heaven, isn't it supposed to be all healthy and shit here...

"Yeah.. yeah shut up. Let's go meet Sam he's been asking about you."

He turns to walk towards the impala, then turns back again, takes Castiel's hand in his and pulls him towards the car with him.Yeah. He's never going to let him go ever again.

(He misses the warm, soft smile on Castiel's face, the one that's been there since Dean confessed to loving him back. He does look shyly at Castiel and finds him.. radiating with happiness. Yeah. He gets that, he's feeling it too. He's finally happy.)

yeah.. so that's kinda it. this is the song i had in mind while writing this btw, because it fits cas and dean's love story so fucking well.

[woozletania]

Sanctuary, part 2 (RR/GOTG slice of life)

(Actually about half S2, but this is what I have ready at the moment.  The full version will be done when it’s done. You really have to read the first one to understand why an otter is on board the Milano and why everyone calls her Lima at first.)

"Man, you work fast." Rocket looked up from his plate of eggs and sausage.  He'd wanted to head up to the cockpit - he knew he'd left that panel a mess when he got distracted by Doc Foster's letter and it made his fingers itch to leave something half put together like that - but the others insisted he have at least another full day off to recover. "Whattaya mean?  I haven't worked on anything today.  Just woke up and came out to breakfast." "Really?  I looked in the cabin today and you and Lima were," Pete grinned and made some gestures Rocket couldn't scope out except to guess that they were rude. "Wasn't like that," Rocket growled.  "She was having a nightmare and I was just tryin' to calm her down.  Fell asleep afterward, I guess." "You sure buddy?  It sure looked like you two were-" "I am Groot!" Peter looked up to see Rocket's ears go back and the fangs come out. Groot grabbed Rocket just in time to keep the raccoon from coming across the table at him. "Joke!  Joke!" Peter backed away as Rocket snarled.  "I didn't mean anything by it buddy!" Groot still had his vines around Rocket, who struggled with all his might despite his injuries.  "If you think 'I just rescued this poor little thing, got to jump in bed with her' then I'm not the 'monster' here, Pete!" "That's enough!" Gamora literally put her foot down, stomping the deck plates hard enough that everyone jumped.  "Rocket, Peter was just being stupid.  Peter, apologize." "Sorry man," Peter said.  "I wasn't thinking.  You know me, I say stupid things." Rocket, panting, finally settled down, one hand pressed against his chest.  He still hadn't fully recovered from the gas.  "Yeah, well, don't.  She's not a 'thing.'  Not a toy. Don't call her one. Don't think of her as one either." Lima  (We really do need to find her a better name, Rocket thought)  poked her head shyly into the common area, drawn by the shouting and the smell of food. Mantis served her a plate of eggs and stood there stroking the yellow creature's head as she ate, smiling at the way Lima pushed back against her palm.  It didn't seem to bother Lima at all to be petted unlike Rocket, who until very recently would snap at anyone who touched him. "What were you fighting about," she said, and Rocket grumbled. "Nothin'. Pete and I fight all time 'bout all sortsa crap." "What I want to know is why pick an otter to Uplift," Peter said, his mouth full of eggs. "What's an otter," Lima said, and Rocket growled. "Probably some stupid thing he thinks you are." "Look Rock, I know you don't like being compared to animals, but we gotta have a species for you, right?  You may not be one but you look exactly like a raccoon and you," Pete pointed his fork at Lima, "You're an otter.  Kind of a big water weasel." Though 'big' was relative, as she was about as heavy as Rocket if a little longer. "I like 'otter,' Lima chirped.  "It sounds funny." "You need to pick a name," Gamora said, and Rocket nodded.  "We can't keep calling you part of your number." "Ottah," Pete said, to which Rocket immediately snapped "No!" "Rocket is named after the men he killed to get free," Drax said with a typical lack of tact.  "You didn't kill anyone, so you can't do that." "Was there anyone at the compound you 'liked?'" Surprisingly it was Mantis who asked. "There was one," Lima said, and for the first time she looked sad. "She snuck me pills when I couldn't sleep after the operations." Though Rocket had just tried to attack Peter, Pete still put his hand on the raccoon's shoulder when he saw Rocket grit his teeth and look away.  "It's OK, man." "But they caught her," Lima said, looking down at her plate.  "I never saw her again. Her name was Lilla." "Lylla," Drax said. He didn't quite have it right, but close. "I like it." "I do too," Peter said.  "Rocket?" "I told you, it's not our decision.  What do you think," he said to the otter. "Lylla?  If I had gotten out another way I might have named myself after the nice one. It's up to you, though." "Lylla," said the otter.  "I like it too. I'm Lylla!" She beamed, and only Rocket didn't match her smile. He had his reasons. "Okay, Lylla," Rocket said a moment later.  "Speaking of nice guys.  I want you to meet a friend of mine soon. He's a doctor." And just like that all the joy vanished from Lylla's face, replaced by horror. "No," she said, dropping her plate.  "No, no, no." She fell to all fours and scurried back towards her room. From the back you could see the shaved areas, the implants, the scars, though they weren't as bad as Rocket's had been. The raccoon was right after her on all fours as well.  "Lylla!  Let me explain!" "Wait, Peter," Gamora said.  "Give him a minute. He's the one who knows why she is afraid." "We all know why she's afraid," Drax said. "But he's the one who lived that life," Gamora said, and Peter reluctantly sat back down. "I am Groot?" "He's in my cabin with our guest," Peter said as the three-foot-high tree tree arrived. He didn't really understand Groot yet but he at least knew the tree was looking for Rocket. "She's really upset and he went to talk to her." "I am Groot!" "Wait, Groot," but it was too late. The tree was already hot after his friend. By the time Rocket reached the cabin Lylla had burrowed into the nest of blankets she'd pulled into the padded pet bed.  All that showed was a shivering yellow tailtip and Rocket pulled up short, sure she'd snap at him if he climbed in too. He would. "Lylla, listen," he said, settling down cross-legged a pace away.  "No one's going to make you see a doctor if you don't want.  It's your choice.  Everything's your choice now." A whiskery muzzle appeared out of the blankets, and Rocket winced to see the tears in her eyes.  "Really, Rocket?" "Yeah.  I should've explained..." "I am Groot." Rocket smiled as a vine came to rest on his shoulder.  "It's all right, buddy. Lylla's just scared.  I was scared too, remember." "I am Groot!" "Yeah. Lylla, a while back my back was messed up.  Cybernetics problems, scars, infection. It hurt all the time but I'm scared of doctors, same as you are." The whiskery face visible under the blanket nodded.  "Because they hurt us. They make us into things they want us to be, not what we want to be," she chirped. "When they made me, I hated them so much," Rocket said, and his muzzle dipped until he was looking at the floor, not Lylla.  "They cut me open and tortured me to train me.  I wanted to kill them all.  But there was one who wasn't cruel.  He brought me pills to take away the pain." Slowly the otter's head rose up out of the covers as she listened.  "I started to save them. Hid them.  I counted them every day.  Soon I'd have enough to make the pain go away forever." "Oh Rocket," she said, tears running down her cheeks.  "Me too." He sniffled.  He was too emotional these days.  Teared up too easily. "But then I got out.  I'm a monster, Lylla.  A killer. I try to change, to be good, but they made me to kill.  And that's what I did.  I killed my way out.  Except for the one nice doctor." Finally he met her gaze, his eyes as wet as hers.  "Him I couldn't kill.  He's why I am...only a little bit monster.  If it weren't for him I would have killed and killed and killed. Instead I'm a Guardian of the Galaxy." "I am Groot," the tree behind him said, and grew more vines to support Rocket.  The raccoon was still weak, still recovering. "When the other Guardians found out how bad my back was they made me see someone.  I picked the guy who kept me sane. That's who I want you to see, Lylla.  I can hear your pain when you move.  I know they messed you up. Doc Foster can help. He's the guy who brought me the pills. He's the reason I'm here instead of dead or crazy." "I don't know, Rocket..." "I'll be there, Lylla.  We'll all be there.  He won't hurt you, he's my friend, but if he does, if anyone hurts you...I try to be good, Lylla.   But if anyone hurts my friends, hurts you, I'll be a monster again." "Yeah," came a voice from the doorway as Peter leaned in for a moment. "We'll all be monsters if someone hurts our friends." The other Guardians nodded from the hall. "I am Groot," Groot said. "What did he say," Lylla chirped. "That he'd do anything for his friends," Rocket said, and put his hand on the vine draped across his shoulder. "And he would. He has." "All right," Lylla said, unknowingly echoing Rocket, a few months back.  "As long as you're there." "Good." Rocket nodded.  "You wanna go have some more breakfast? You hardly ate at all." "I just want to rest," she chirped, and burrowed back under the blankets.  "They never let me just lie around like this. I'll eat later." "Okay." Rocket climbed to his feet using Groot for support. His leg still hurt, oddly worse than the neck bite that almost killed him. And his chest, though that was slowly getting better. A voice came from under the blankets. "Please don't go, Rocket.  I was so afraid last night, with all this metal around, like a cage.  Then I woke up and you were there. Having you there made me feel so safe." "Well, I'm supposed to be resting too I guess," Rocket said doubtfully, and then he protested as Groot picked him up.  "Hey, you don't need to carry me, dummy. I'm not that hurt." But Groot didn't listen, easing him into the padded bed with the otter, and there was a confusion of slow movements as she emerged from beneath the covers and curled around him. Rocket was so warm, and comfortable, and safe, that the protests just drained out of him. "Thank you, Rocket," she chirped into his ear, and Rocket thought, 'Ain't not thing like me, 'cept me. Except maybe there is, now.  Or close enough.'