#all the stress has kinda fucked my sleeping schedule

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

Hey Quin? How are things going with y’all?

I want to say better but I don’t think that’s entirely right

For now things are just okay. Like a neural okay

[anonymous-depressed-figure]

I’m having so many problems at work and I keep getting yelled at and I’m so unmotivated and my rooms a mess and I’m a mess and I want to die 🫠

[acotarxreader]

Stress Relief

Azriel X Reader

Synopsis: Working for the Night Court has become near impossible with Azriel determined to drive you out the door but can a camping trip arranged by Rhys smooth things over.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut, frenemies to lovers, lots of dialogue, if you see a typo no you didn't

A/N: Hehe this kinda long but I wanted to keep the chaos to one part. I'm finding writing since Other Worlds a bit stressy so I think posting this nonsense will help with that and we can return to out regularly scheduled programming. Let me know what you think!

Requests open! (I am working on your Cass request if you see this anon👀 )

----------------------------------------------------------------

“YN you need to fucking relax”

“I suggest that you keep quiet Azriel if you'd like to keep your head attached to your shoulders” Azriel rolled his eyes at you from the couch as you paced up and down, trusty list in hand. 

“I’m just saying you’ll give yourself a heart attack”

“Hey! Do you want me to add your name to this list!”

“Az would only want to be on it if it's your To Do list” A pillow flew from alongside Azriel right at Cassian as he howled. 

“I’ll relax once we get there”

“Why do you get so fucking neurotic when it comes to travelling?”

“Why are you so fucking anno-”

“Okay okay stop it you too! We promised Feyre no fighting on Rhy’s big camping trip, she’s already upset Elain won’t come, just don’t add to her stress” You and Azriel groaned like scolded children at Cassian’s words. You counted the bags again, checking off your list as you went. Azriel stood to grab his bag, coming chest to chest with you before pushing past.

“I’m flying ahead because I can’t be around her uptight ass anymore”

“Aw you look at my ass” you smiled sarcastically as Cassian laughed in the background. 

-

You all finally arrived deep within the woods of the Night Court, luggage crashing down around the group. You couldn’t stop thinking that you had forgotten everything, glancing from the list to the pile repeatedly, your friends happily unpacking. The night had already begun to creep in, Azriel and you delaying the group by fighting about which was the fastest route to take. You busied yourself fixing up some of the tents as Azriel dug through the pile of bags in search of his own. 

“YN, what’s the plan for us sleeping together?”

“Excuse me?” you deadpaned to Azriel. 

“Sor-Sorry I meant the plan for sleeping?” he quickly corrected himself, his shadows doing their best to cover his rosie cheeks. 

“Well, Feyre & Rhysand, Cassian & Nesta, Amren & Mor and then I guess you and Lucien and then I get my own tent” you beamed, shaking a sleeping bag from its case. 

“Funny how that worked out isn't it” he remarked and you rolled your eyes but the group agreed to the sleeping arrangements, with further prodding for Lucien to agree. 

You gathered around the fire, feasting on the fire-roasted food Cassian did his best not to cremate, trading life stories in pure unadulterated ease, everything Rhysand had wanted for this trip. You swaddled yourself deeply into your sleeping bag as the fire began to sink beneath its tinder. 

“Do you regret leaving Summer Court for us YNN?” 

“I think I love the Night Court more than I ever could Summer” You smiled in reply to Cassian, your eyes flashing to Rhysand briefly before he launched into his favourite Tarquin story, Azriel noticing the fleeting glance seemingly tinged with an element of sadness. 

“You like it even though being an emissary to the Seasonal Courts clearly makes you want to pull your hair from your head?” Azriel whispered to you. 

“You and your antics are the only thing that causes me to do that, I seriously think you need a refresher training on diplomacy” you bit back to his sharp whisper. You had shared the job with Lucien but soon found yourself taking on the brunt of the work as Lucien was lost in Elain.

“You need to stop being so uptight seriously, I think you need to be fucked or something, anything to get you to relax” Your head whipped towards him, the group laughing at Rhysand's story, choosing to ignore the two of you, assuming it was an argument. You huffed out in disgust at Azriel, he watched your chest release the full capacity of air from your lungs before taking another deep breath. You shuffled slightly in the sheet, wrapping the sleeping bag tighter around yourself and facing back towards the fire. It was then Azriel realised he was fully staring at your chest. 

“I didn't…I didn't mean that I want to be the one to….fuck you…I meant …” 

“Just stop talking Az” you scoffed, choosing to listen to Rhysand instead as Azriel mentally cursed himself for losing his edge over you. The fire sank until it went out, the laughter from the group lighting the forest. 

“Okay, it's like 2am, time for bed kids especially if we’re going for the hike tomorrow” Rhysand stood, pulling a sleepy Feyre to her feet. The group said their good nights as you climbed into your canvas home. You stretched along the fabric floor and sank into sleep easily, tired from the day as you balled up in your opened-out sleeping bag. 

-

“Hey! YNN! Wake up!” 

“I swear to the Gods you better be a super polite Naga about to rip my head off otherwise you’ll wish you were” you breathed out without opening your eyes, the sound of your tent zip worse than a blaring alarm to your sleepy state. 

“It’s Az, I need to sleep in here, push over” he collapsed next to you without invitation, your hand sailing outwards to clock him flat into the chest with a thud. 

“Az, what the fuck? It's like 3am, get the fuck out we’re not braiding one another's hair!” you whisper-shouted at him while you sat up. 

“Lucien is snoring like he’s trying to deafen me and I don’t fancy interrupting Mor and Amrens beauty sleep and as for the mates, I don’t need to explain why I don’t want to go in there” you sighed at him as he gave you a look that said he wasn’t going anywhere. You sank back into the canvas, Azriel pulling the sleeping bag from you. 

“Az” you bit out. 

“I’m not going to freeze to death because you’re a blanket thief”

“You’re going to find yourself on the other side of the zip if you don’t go to sleep” you said, rolling into the slack of the sleeping bag, pulling it fully from Azriel. He almost grunted at the action, catching the end and whipping it from under you, sending you rolling into the wall of the tent. 

“Az!” you barked and he raised his hands up in surrender. You sank beneath the cover again, moving closer to Azriel to spread the sleeping bag more evenly. Azriels eyes fixed on the mesh vents on the tent roof, the sound of the night filling the tent.

“Do you ever think you’ll go back to the Summer Court?” Azriel broke the silence that filled the tent, you sighed before replying. 

“If you keep being a prick then maybe” you deflected the question successfully.

“I’m a prick because I care” You laughed at his joking tone, rolling to your side to face him more, hands tucked in under your cheek. 

“As much stress as you and Cass and your antics cause me, which is a lot might I add, I would find it very hard to leave you freaks” you half laughed, eyes still heavy. 

“We’d miss you” he admitted

“I mean who would keep your secrets from one another if not me” you teased. 

“What secrets?” you tapped the side of your nose lazily and Azriel nudged you slightly in annoyance at your grin. 

“Fine fine emmm.... Cass is the one who told all those females in the Rita's where to find you when you were home” you yawned into a light laugh. Azriel felt annoyance grow in him at this revelation, that had caused him months of being harassed by all sorts from every walk of life. 

“I swear I’m going t-”

“Just leave it Shadowsinger” you gave a small laugh, grabbing his hand as he went to leave the nest you’d both made, pulling him back down and forgetting to let go, you lost your fight to sleep then, entirely drifting back off. Azriel glanced at you sleeping peacefully next to him and found himself surprised at enjoying holding your hand beneath the sleeping bag. 

Azriel stayed awake for half an hour, staring up at the canvas above him, torn between the growing pain in his shoulder and not wanting to let go of your hand. The nerves felt like they were screaming as the muscles went dead in his arm, an idea coming to him. He quickly rolled towards you while releasing your hand and grabbing the other but he greatly misjudged the distance, sending his head straight into yours. You almost immediately dropped his hand to place it on the bump growing on your head, Azriel feeling regret for waking you but more so for letting you go. 

“You're such a freak Shadowsinger” You laughed half asleep before rolling in closer to him and draping your arm across his waist, pulling yourself closer to him softly, resting your head between the pillow and his chest. Azriel felt such an unfamiliar level of comfort at the movement but also a new level of confusion. 

You moved from next to him then, leaning on your elbow to prop yourself up and look at him as puzzled as he looked at you. 

“Sorry I-I don't know why I did that”

“Emm it’s okay YN…it was actually kinda comfortable…I’m ok-ay if you’re okay with it” he spoke the words with caution and you found a sigh of relief leave you that you didn’t know you had. You rolled away from Azriel to face the tent wall, his face slightly greying with nerves, had he been vulnerable to the wrong person? He braced for your rejection only for it not come, instead you shuffled slightly down and laid your back flat into his chest. Azriel cautiously moved his arm across your waist, only to have you catch hold of his hand and move it across faster, forgetting to release his hand again. 

Azriel nestled his chin on top of your head, pulling you in as close as he could as you both tangled your legs together. He felt so entirely comforted by how close you were to him…too close he thought suddenly. He shuffled in the bed a little to try to hide the part of him betraying any sense of secrecy he had about his changing feelings towards you. You just moved back to where you were, leaving him no place to hide. Azriel felt your whole body smirk against him as you traced little circles along the back of his hand with your thumb, he hated how you were winning. 

“You’re not hard for me to read Azriel” he definitely heard the smirk from you. He refused to let you win, he tried to push the embarrassment from his voice before speaking again-

“Well I hardly think that's surprising, I already told you what I think needs to happen for you to relax” he barely whispered, your body's turn to stiffen in the bed alongside him, he smiled with the point he won. 

Azriel slowly moved to hover his mouth above your neck, both so still in the movement that he could almost see the hairs on your neck stand on their end. He gave little thought to his next movement, now acting on his instinct as he met your neck almost painfully softly. He kissed you there until you found your neck flexing to allow him more access. A betraying soft moan of approval escaped you as Azriel smiled into the nips he gave you, gaining a further point advantage. 

You couldn’t let him hold the win for long as you began to push yourself into his growing length, a low growl escaping him before he reburied himself in your neck, more feverishly this time. Your hand wrapped tighter around his as you began to grind into him, encouraging him further. You rolled onto your back, Azriel now almost hovering over you and moved without thinking. He leaned down and met his lips with yours. Electric, you were electrifying one another. This night was going further than you both thought it would. Sex was one thing but kissing someone like that and feeling such overwhelming desire as a result was another thing. You both separated almost surprised at the waves of confusion mixed with yearning. 

“I-I didn’t mean to… I shouldn’t have…” Azriel didn’t know what he was saying, almost begging you with his eyes to say anything. 

“I-” you were cut off by the sound of Lucien's loud sneeze from across the fire pit causing you both to almost jump. It hit you both then what you were about to do, with all your friends mere metres away. 

“Night Azriel” was all you found yourself saying before rolling back to face the wall of the tent, not taking his arm with you. Azriel cursed in his head before lying back down on the canvas. He didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, the thought of what could have been controlling his thoughts. He didn’t think you were asleep either but didn’t challenge you on it, what had you both done?

-

You rolled over to find the space next to you empty as the sun leaked in the thin canvas the next morning. You ran your hands down your face, cursing your actions from the night previous. You got dressed haphazardly, removing a mirror from your pack to braid your hair back, your eyes falling on deep maroon markings on the side of your neck. You traced them gently with your fingertips, a small smile escaping you at the memory. 

“YN! Get up! We’re leaving in 10” Cassian's voice accompanied him banging on the top of your tent, chasing your smile away. You ran your hands through the loose braid, separating it out again to cover the evidence of your lapse in judgment. 

You hauled yourself out through the soft door once you were dressed to find your friends all laughing at one of Cassian's stories, ready and waiting for you to set off. Your eyes landed on Azriel as he tilted his head back laughing before his eyes met yours, he almost instantly tore them from you and looked back to Cassian. 

-

The group set off bounding along the mountain in total ease, Nesta winding Rhysand up ahead of you and Cassian. 

“So YN…you gonna tell me why Az won’t look at you?” 

“How am I supposed to read that pain in the ass’s mind?” you replied almost too quickly to him as he raised an eyebrow, catching your hand and helping you up a steeper part of the path. You looked at the back of Azriel’s head ahead of you as he lead the group along the path to the waterfall. 

“Hmm likely story YN and tell me why I could have sworn I heard Az leave your tent this morning?” he couldn’t bury the teasing tone as you sighed. 

“Lucien was snoring so Azriel just stayed in my tent, no big deal” You could see the thoughts race through Cassian’s grinning face, you tilted your head slightly forward, ensuring the truth was still covered by your hair. 

“Interesting, I don’t know Lucien to be a snorer” He gave a small laugh as you raised your eyebrow, only getting a playful shake of the Illyrian's head in return. A sudden slap of mud met the side of Cassian's face. 

“That’s for Rita’s!“ Azriel shouted back the path, his hand having just released the ball of mud. 

“You told him YN!” Cassian’s head snapped to you as you howled with laughter.

“Must have slipped out?” you tried your best to lie, only to have the broad male throw you over his shoulder as you screamed in hysterics. He ran with you, the group all roaring laughing as they followed. You suddenly couldn’t feel Cassian under you as he flung you from his arms, landing with a splash into the large lake. 

“Cassian! I’m going to kill you!” you shrieked, the cold water bursting through you sending power coursing. You sent a tendril of water, playfully pulling Cassian from where he stood straight into the water alongside you, the group following suit in fits of laughter, leaving Azriel to watch from the rocks. Azriels eye caught the slight glimpse of his handiwork beneath your soaked hair, a pang of pride beating through him then replaced by panic. A shadow met the side of your face, draping your hair back to cover the markings. You looked towards Azriel and found yourself laughing at the action, he returned a smile. 

-

After a day of hiking and swimming and being a bunch of fools, you all came back to the campsite ready to feast on whatever you could scrounge up. 

“Okay everyone, it’s time to announce the reason behind this little trip” Rhysand announced to his family gathered around the roaring fire. 

“Well, as you know, YN has been with us now for some months now-”

“Unfortunately” you hit Azriel into the chest at his sarcasm.

“Anyways-” Rhysand threw a warning glance “-YN has helped to negotiate many our trade agreements and cleaned up many of our messes-” Cassian raised a glass to you at Rhysands words, the group laughing “-But anyway, I’m sorry to announce that I have failed as your High Lord in convincing her to stay with us” the group turned to face you in almost shock. 

“I know everyone I said-”

“-You said you wouldn’t leave” Azriel cut across you, semblances of pain dripping from his quick words. 

“I know Az but-”

“-No, you said you wouldn’t leave” his words turned to tones of anger, the group looking amongst themselves, feeling as though they were intruding. 

“Yes but Az, I’m needed at home, they’re still recovering from Amarantha and Tarquin needs m-”

“-But I- I mean we need you!” He stood from the log to look down at you, your sad eyes meeting his. Suddenly aware of the scene he was making he dissolved into shadow as you tried to call after him. 

“I better go-”

“No Cass, I'll go” you winnowed out of the clearing. 

-

Azriel crashed into his room in the House of Wind. Mixtures of emotions spinning in his head like the shadows around his heels. 

“Az” he whipped around to see you stood with your hands up chest level in surrender. 

“Here to pack your bags?” he chewed out. 

“Oh fuck off Azriel, don’t actually pretend you want me to stay” you matched his tone. 

“And why do you say that?” he snapped back.

“Because you’re the reason I’m leaving!” he took a small step back in shock at your sharp admission. He sat down on the edge of his bed, brow furrowing in thought. 

“What have I done to you?”

“What haven’t you done!? You go out of your way to make my job difficult, every motion I put forward you try to shoot down, you’re constantly following me watching every move I make waiting me to fuck up! Now you have what you want, I’m leaving!” you paced up and down in front of him, releasing the tension you held in your shoulders. 

“I don’t want you to leave” he sounded almost offended that you thought so. 

“What?”

“You really think I want you to leave…especially after last night” he stood from the bed, stepping in front of you to stop your pacing.

“I thought that especially after last night you’d want me to leave” You half laughed.

“At least I guess I’ve given you something to remind you of me” he gave the smallest smile, his hand sweeping your hair off your shoulder to look at his busy work as you felt yourself blush.

“Don’t leave YN, who would I play with?”

“Cass maybe” you grinned, something seemingly darkening in his eyes. 

“I don’t want to fuck him” he breathed out.

“That’s not what Rhys told me” You laughed again before noticing his serious eyes. 

“Please don’t leave me YN”

“And what will I tell Tarquin?” you chuckled, unsure what to do with Azriels edgy tone. His hand found yours, hazel eyes fixated on you.

"Tell him you're preoccupied" "With what exactly" he moved closer to you with your words ever so slightly rattling out of you.

“Az if we kiss…this might become more than what either of us wants”

"What if its what we both want?" he was mere millimetres from you now, unable to fight against this magnetic force pulling you forward. Something bubbling between you both, the electricity coursing through the space between you both again as you kissed so sweetly. Your eyes snapped open to find his eyes meeting yours, gently pulling back from one another. Mate. Mate. Mate.

“YN- you’re my-”

“-Mate” you breathed while looking at him with such unadulterated love. Azriel burst into laughter with you following suit.

“Now you really can’t leave me”

“How convenient” you smiled, running your hands through your hair, Azriel tracing the bitemark's outline with his heated gaze.

“Care for some stress relief YN?” Azriels hands went straight for your hips, the feeling of the small calluses meeting your soft sides sent pulses down you both. He met your neck, the same place he had last night, cupping his hands beneath your lower legs and lifting you from the ground, your legs wrapped around his waist

“Why can't I keep away from you?” You breathed, the hairs on Azriel’s neck standing on their end.

“Why does that make me so happy?” Was all he could manage before reconnecting to your neck. Azriel carried you to the bed before throwing you down and closely following in pursuit. You knotted your fingers through his hair and forced down the moan trying to escape at the pleasure of having him nip you. You tugged his hair until he pulled from you to face you.

“I want all of you”

Azriel cautiously lowered his mouth to yours until they met again. Much like the first time electricity coursed through both of you but unlike the last time, neither pulled away, only growing hungrier.

You could feel him hardening against your thigh, no longer able to fight the little victory you were going to give him, you moaned gently. He smirked hard into the kiss before it became more feverish. Your hand ran across him beneath the fabric of his trousers, his turn to groan.

“You're wearing too many clothes” he rasped as you smirked and pulled your shirt from over your head, he gently caught your jaw as he kissed along it. 

“I want revenge for these” you smirked, wrapping your leg into his side to flip him so you straddled him on top. Your teeth grazed his neck with heat as he sat up in the bed with you on his lap. He pulled his shirt from over his head, his hands replacing on your hips to support you, his groaning encouraging you on.

“Enough teasing YN, I need you” he said darkly, flipping you onto your back and yanking your trousers free from your legs to discard them. Azriel kissed you sweetly before moving down the shape of your body, peppering kisses along the trail to your entrance. You felt your legs begin to tremble under his touch, begging for more as his fingers began to play with your clit, your hands tangling in his hair with a moan. 

“You’re so ready for me YN, its intoxicating” he began to kiss around you and slowly his fingers began to move in and out while he sucked your clit. You felt the tension build in your abdomen, the greatest realess you ever had just a few movements away until he stopped entirely. You looked down between your legs to meet his eyes as he moved to hover above you again, discarding his own trousers in the process. 

“You’re so beautiful YNN” Your hand met the side of his face softly before pulling him back down into a searing kiss. Your fingers began to drag up and down his bear back before tracing the spines of his wings as they began to splay in their relaxed state. 

“Is that okay Azriel?” you whispered watching his eyes close with the building pleasure. 

“Nothing has ever been more okay” he leaned his head towards your hand, taking the waves of pleasure in his stride before lowering back down to meet you sweetly. 

Azriel slowly then began to enter you, you both almost meeting your release at the feeling. He slowly began to drag in and out as the sensation grew with its addictive nature, he increased his speed, spurred on by your hitching breath. The pressure growing and growing and growing, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your back arched until the band snapped sending you into overdrive as every nerve in your body stood to attention and then exploded. You practically screamed his name sending him over the edge, returning the sentiment by moaning your name, collapsing next to you while riding out his high. 

“I had no idea how much I needed to hear you say my name like that YN” Azriel finally found some composure to rasp out, his arm wrapping around you, pulling you in. You tried not to cringe in embarrassment as you buried a laugh into his chest. 

“Don’t go shy on me now” he laughed, kissing the top of your head. You rolled onto your elbows to look into his eyes as they lit up for you. You hauled the duvet up around you, leaving a small corner for Azriel to tug at.

“Why must I be mated to a blanket thief?”

“Why must I be mated to a pain in the ass?”

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Whatcha think friends!

[thewriterg]

𝐣𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐜𝐬

pairing(s): jess mariano x gn!reader, collegestudent!jess x collegestudent!reader

summary: you see the title :)

word count: 1.2k

request: if you’re uncomfortable with it you don’t have to but could you write NSFW alphabet with Jess Mariano 🤭

warning(s): smut and language

A/n: —GIFs; @buffysummers— *cracks neck* it’s been a while since I’ve done this but I think I might still got it

Aftercare

Aftercare king

I feel like In his younger years he didn’t really know much about it I mean come on we all knew he was a man whore back than

he would crack you open some water and be on his way before you fell asleep

or fuck you to sleep and leave before you woke up

but he’s gotten better!

gets you a warm rag to wipe you up would run you a bath occasionally but Jess is a little arrogant bitch so he’s not gonna admit that he wants to cuddle with you for a lot of little while 🙄

Body Part

His favorite body part on you is your face even in his younger years jess didn’t base his sole existence off sex he loves to lay a hand on your cheek or kiss your forehead

But In all honesty

Jess is an ass man

There I said it.

His favorite part on himself other than his hair is his hair. he likes when you run your fingers through it and normal time but especially after sex

he’d never say it to your face though it’s Jess come on Y/n 🙄

he’s into hair pulling

pull his hair see what muffled sounds you can get out of him 🙏🏽

because he’s definitely not just going to let it spur out and let you hear them.

bratty jess?

the answer is yes.

Cum

He likes to cum either on your ass or inside you that’s just his preference.

he’s also not against in your mouth when you suck him off

I feel like he’s not really throwing a bitch fit rather you spit or swallow

kiss him and make him taste himself and feels a certain way ;)

but going back to inside you :)

he likes when you clench around him and kinda ground him in a way? Like bringing him back to reality in the best way possible

he’s in love with you either way 🤸🏾‍♀️

Dirty Secret

Jess Mariano is a switch.

Experience

like I said he was a man whore even though it’s behind him now he was a whore.

He has plenty experience on his belt

Also my man is a book reader

You can’t tell me that he hasn’t read smut like let’s be serious for a second

just know that Jess can get around and you’re always gonna finish with him 😊

Favorite Position

Rocking horse and spooning.

Jess is an eye contact person

Just intensely staring at you as he rubs circles on your puffy clit or Keeps running his thumb over your red tip

if you can hold up with his eyes than you might just have him tucked under your thumb

If not than expect him to tease the fuck at out of you and result into shit like fucking you in a mirror forcing you to watch

Goofy

I feel like other than like a sarcastic remark and a couple smirks Jess isn’t really that goofy?

I don’t think Jess is a sunshine/silly character anyways so, there’s that

Hair

He keeps himself trimmed not completely bald but not where to point where he’s uncomfortable or scratching you with it

He doesn’t really care all that much about body hair?

Like it would go like this;

“We can’t, I haven’t shaved.”

“…so?” 🧍🏽🍽️

Intimacy

There’s a lot of things that Jess is but naive however is not one.

when you want to get intimate Jess catches your drift pretty quick

But on a serious not I feel like Jess would like no shit be so sweet sometimes

Like starting up at you as he kiss up your legs to your abdomen and chest

Prepping kissed everywhere kiss rolls, beauty marks, freckles, your back and shoulders, dimples, everything.

Body worship bae

Jack off

He doesn’t do it a lot anymore? He has you and once again he’s never based his whole being off sex intake

but my man is a college student 🙏🏽

and you both have busy schedules so he might have to do what he has to to take his mind off his exam stress

if you catch him!?

please like make him finish in front of you it’d make him so hot and bothered

neither of you would go to class

Kink

Hair pulling; hair pulling is a probably a big key to Jess’s subby side

he is a switch and I’ll die on that hill.

Markings; he’d be a little shit about markings hickeys, hand marks, kiss prints, anything. leave scratches down his back and hickeys one his neck where people can see? he’s fucking whipped and will be back for more when they fade.

Overstimulation.

I rest my case your honor.

Location

your ass or your mouth.

Motivation

When you wear tighter clothes that shows off your figure he loses all sense he has come to have and will shamelessly stare

Also cock warming.

You’re helping him study and he can’t focus? It’s almost like a game

The more flash cards he can go through and get right than the more you move

if he gets more than enough wrong you’ll basically just torture him and sit there as he struggles to hold in his groans

No

Hurting each other other than like a couple smacks on the ass from either parties Jess isn’t into the pain thing at all

Oral

he doesn’t mind a good blowjob

oral fixation go brrr

Place

Risky

Jess is all about the adrenaline he gets off the risky feeling of being caught

Janitors closet type beat

Quickie

Once again y’all are college students

You eat, breathe, and live quickies.

Risk

yes 😈

The amount of places y’all have been in is very questionable

a dressing room 😏

restaurant family bathroom 😝

the janitors closet 🤨

the library 😟

Sext

it’s literally his specialty

“rubbing those pretty legs together thinking about me in the middle of them”

All while your in class

LIEK

sir enough. 🙏🏽

Toys

Not the biggest fan

only toy he was really keen on was something like vibrator underwear

but that’s a story for another day

Unfair

Depending on your personality is rather where you can keep up with Jess or not

because he’s a very big fucking tease

If you can than your best bet is to not let him talk like once you start keep going and he doesn’t have a chance like zero chance

Stare at him dead in his eyes maybe look at lips for a little bit and keep sweet talking him and he’s bending to your will

Volume

you have to really pull the noises out of this one

he’s not letting them slip easy

Wild Card

Once you were giving Jess head he was already overstimulated maybe on his third or forth orgasm and the last one you gave him practically had him unconscious

For the rest of the night he was clinging and whiny wanting you close

That’s been the biggest sun moment you’ve seen in Jess your whole relationship

X ray

6.5 to 7 inches

It gets him around but you’re also not dying splitting in half

Yes

Put your fingers in mouth

Don’t break eye contact as he licks around your digits

you two are at it like fucking rabbits

Zzz

Unless you’ve been at it for a while Jess is usually the one falling asleep after you

he’d run shapes on your hip kiss your forehead when your eyes close and then finally be on his way

[emersonfreepress]

help i'm alive

So! Long time, no see. 2023 was a whole goddamn lot lol

I don't have a demo update to share yet, but that's because I had to scrap nearly everything I managed to write during a very, very, very bad stint of writer's block last year. I hadn't even realized it had been a block like that until I went over my work so far last month and realized it was bad -- like, trust me; a slog to read that didn't even sound like me. It's been extremely frustrating but I've finally broken free of that and it's been easy and actually fun to write again for the first time in actual years. I just hate giving updates that have no actual news in them. And I really had nothing to share other than: I deleted thousands of words and feel so much better now 😅

Anyway, little about my demo plans have changed: I'm still putting out the Chapter 3 demos in Choicescript/on Dashingdon and then will be going dark to move things over to Twine. Where I am in the process right now is... feeling like 35% done with the overhauled version of this chapter and 50% done for the next demo update.

As far as asks, I'm... not really sure what to do?? I believe I've read them all (I love you guys), but so much time has passed since getting most of them that I'm not sure if it's, like... still pertinent??? To go back and answer them?? I suppose some of them like character asks could be, but all the nice messages of support -- that feels weird since I've practically ghosted this blog since August! Idk. Y'all tell me what to do with 'em and I'll do it. Maybe I should make a poll.

Uh... that's really all there is to say regarding the game! I've added some personal stuff after the cut, but if you're done here: Thanks for reading and sticking around. It means the world, for real.

So what has occupied my time all this time? Doctor, therapy, money, and friends. And improv! But especially the first two. There was a lot of non-writing related stuff fucking up my ability to focus and write, so hopefully with my mind and body both feeling a lot better, I can get back to being present and active with the game. I didn't realize how physically unwell I was until last year and it's been like... life-long issues I've been treating. It turns out it's not normal to feel exhausted enough to sleep at any given time, at all times, for your whole life! wow!!

I also uninstalled Tumblr from my phone back in February, so you could say I'm sort of generally focused on offline life. (And what an interesting coincidence that my writer's block dissipated shortly after that...) I also just moved!! The last two weekends have been so expensive and stressful -_- But I can't even compare the old place to the new. We're basically paying the same price for idek how much more space. The cats are so happy; which means the house humans get to be happy.

My schedule is finally freed up from constant medical shit (there was a 3-month stretch this winter with multiple doctor appointments literally every fucking week 🙃🙃🙃). My mental health is doing a lot better -- literally incomparably better compared to where I was this time last year. There's live comedy now (which I dabble in, to be clear lol), but I've finally found myself able to like... balance it all. The physical and creative energy that goes into it all, anyway. The lovely thing about improv is that you kinda just show up and do your thing -- it doesn't cut into my writing time so much as it costs energy. Unless I end up in this comedy debate show thing next month, which I am very excited to give up writing time for

So like... Life is life-ing and I'm just vibing. Or something? I'll be around.

Thank you all again so much for your interest, support, patience, and readership <3

[via-l0ve]

OMG UR MIKE SCHMIDT HCS ARE PERFECT!!!!!!!!! pls do a part two 🙏🙏

(btw can I be 😾 anon? )

Dating Mike Schmidt Hcs PT. 2!❣️

a/n: ABSOLUTELY!!! thank you sm 😾 anon <3 i love u! this also includes just some general head cannons of him because he’s my baby.

warnings: nothing :)

mike drinks coffee and energy drinks all the time

his favorite flavor of monster is the original or the Strawberry dreams

if you like monster (i’m an addict) he buys you one every time he buys one for himself

when he was working at freddy’s you’d patch him up if he ever got hurt :(

you teach him how to bake so he can teach Abby

You’re the only person Abby likes her brother to be with

she incorporates you into her drawings after a while of knowing you

mike is so happy when he sees you drawn in because his sister’s approval means a lot to him even if she’s only ten

it takes a while for mike to open up to you

but when he does he kinda has to break it up into small bits

he’s surprised when you hug him and comfort him bc what no one’s ever done that before

his love language is most definitely words of affirmation and physical touch

mike is so stressed with his work schedule so he can’t always be there physically but he always, without fail, every. day. sends you a good morning and good night text.

that might not seem like much but it’s everything to me okay!!!!

“hey baby, good morning :) i love you the most and i hope you have an amazing day. im on my way to work now but when i get out ill text you and when i get home ill give you lots of kisses. i love you.”

that’s so fucking cute

you guys have frequent date nights that just consist of laying on the couch or in his bed and watching a movie while he lays on your lap or on your chest

Abby usually interrupts because she “can’t sleep” but we all know it’s just because she wants to watch the movie

Mike secretly has a savings account for the two of you

he wants the best for you and when he can give you the world he will

but for right now he’ll pay for some stuff and give you kisses afterwards

he makes playlists that remind him of you

he loves to give you his clothes

or, if you don’t want those, he gives you blankets of his that smell like him

Mike notices the little things

like if you told him a story about your cousin and how they pissed you off

and then you brought them up again

he would remember the incident but he wouldn’t remember their name

“oh isn’t that the cousin who did all of that stuff to you?”

you guys have deep talks at 2am while he lays on your stomach and you comb through his hair with your fingers and you guys just talk and make out

his lips are soft but his hands aren’t

you definitely flirt with him all the time to make him blush

he hates feet

like everyone wears socks in his house or he will shoot his eyes out

he also hates canned corn

don’t ask me why i think this is just do

he’s scared of being alone

he also most definitely uses “:) :( :/ .-.” instead of actual emojis

he laughs at all of your jokes

even if they’re just not funny

he dosent want you to get sad lol

he’s always scared he’s not enough for you

he works a lot and he’s constantly tired and he makes minimum wage so it’s not like he can take you out to fancy dates or anything

he opens up about how he feels and when you tell him how much you adore your little mundane activities he gets all teary eyed and just hugs you so tight

:(((

he just wants to be the best version of himself for you

he adores you

off topic - he’s a lightweight when he drinks

he’ll stumble into the house drunk and just clinging onto you like a sloth

poor baby

he just deserves the world

[onlyseokmins]

Hi, can I have your opinion on each member dealing with dorm sex, I mean more like what is going on in the morning when other boys tease them about what they heard. 👀

I hope it makes sense 🙈😄

Have a nice day 💎

OMG hi anon hahaha this made the rest of my workday go fast haahaha I hope I understood what you wanted but also disclaimers: this is my first ot13 reaction and I like to think that I’m funny anyways kisses, thanks for sending smth in :3

Also, I fully believe there is 0 privacy between the members (with respect to their s/o ofc) but lol I just love this idea fjskdfjsd but pls let’s face it – they’re pretty much bitchless

Seungcheol

He’s a respectful man – doesn’t really say or do much and acts like nothing happened but everyone knows he’s had a good sex night because he just oozes laid-back, easy-going confidence

Because he’ll be real stressed, snippy, or kinda scattered the night before

But upon waking up, he’s checking himself out in the mirror and smirking, brushing his hair back and definitely in a much more relaxed and better mood

Actually, the members don’t tease or say too much – they prolly call his s/o over when he’s in bad moods so they can have a happy leader in a pleasant mood like it has the same energy of a happy wife, happy life

He’s already a pretty caring and attentive man in general but there’s definitely a different air about him when he’s taking care of his s/o in the morning

Eyeballing and daring all the members to say something so ofc they’re not going to but there is some snorting going on behind his back

He snarks at them for it afterwards

Jeonghan

Coughs a lot – like over ten times more than normal

Not a menace, he’s actually almost subdued but in a good way

*sips tea* there may be reasons why for that but I’ll leave it at that

Prolly has a bowl of those really old cough drops like you know they’re stuck to the wrapper and half melted actually, ew, maybe he sucks on one for a bit to sate the cough and then puts it back in the wrapper omg disgusting but anyways they’re right next to the box of condoms on his nightstand

Also, prolly brews some hot water or tea in the morning

Members make fun of his poor voice condition because dude you’re a vocalist

No one’s laughing when he points out that his s/o doesn’t have a voice either

Actually, they know very well because they were so loud last night and everyone shudders (including the man himself lbr) because Jeonghan’s dirty talk is echoing inside their ear drums

Joshua

Was really shy and awkward about it at first

But now that he’s gained a lot more self-confidence, he’s super annoying

Actually, asks if he was too loud and then smirks at whatever the members’ responses are lmfao and apologizes but it’s SO fake like “Oh, I’m sooooo sorry chew on some ayl-monds as consolation” *smacks him*

Prolly has and enjoys morning shower sex like omfg everyone hopes and prays this man does not have his s/o over when someone has morning schedules

Yeah, just don’t expect to use the bathroom in the morning

Big fan of domestic things so he doesn’t dry his hair like a normal person but makes his s/o dry it for him

And he’s so annoying really like if there aren’t any morning schedules, he will make them use a fluffy towel but if there are – too bad – I mean at least he’ll use a hair dryer but he’s just really obnoxious and has his s/o use a brush too, just really likes self-care

Will steal Mingyu’s cucumbers from the kitchen for prepping his pretty face routine like real corny stuff giggling and all that as he and his s/o put cukes on each other’s faces – rip to gyu’s salad

Jun

Bro he just sleeps the entire day, so the teasing is pretty stale by the time he emerges from his room the next day because someone else kept everyone awake during the night

If he’s miraculously up the next morning, no one really says anything because sometimes they’re not exactly sure if this man just slept well or got fucked good because like he always got that sexy morning look

Actually a freak though wbk

Has accidentally been found in many compromising morning sex positions and places

Except the shower/bathroom because Shua owns that

But like there’s your bedroom Jun – NO that’s boring

Laundry room sex is a must so yeah that’s why no one in the dorms does laundry huh jk

But for real, the hum of the dryer drowns out the moans, the vibrations feel divine, and the detergent sometimes hides the scent of sex but there’s also nothing like fucking on a warm blanket out of the dryer uh and it can go right in the laundry basket after!

Soonyoung

Extra hyper

Man could’ve gotten a half hour of sleep but we all know his stamina is insane hence he’s just like bouncing off the walls

Either really giggly and shy or sleek and suave the morning after

Walks around in the morning in his (clean) tiger print boxers

No shirt so he can display all the marks and scratches from his s/o proudly like badges of honor

Won’t fix his hair either like if his s/o ruffled it all up that’s how it’s gonna be the next day until the stylists force some hair gel and spray on him

Also it’s a nightmare for the poor stylists because he hates covering up his marks and there’s no way he’s gonna stop his s/o from giving him them in fact he just encourages it constantly – love the possessiveness of it all

Shows them off to jihoon who doesn’t give a shit frankly

Has a bunch of selfies with all his marks and def has a ton of his s/o – almost uploaded one to weverse by accident because technology is harder than his dick

Wonwoo

Has that foreboding aura that like no one dares to say a thing but it’s not intentional it’s just him

Not sure if the sounds they were hearing were screams from a horror game or something else – plot twist – both

It’s funny though because the best telltale sign is his glasses

Has them on in the morning because his s/o loves him wearing them but also like it’s better to be blind when you have to see your members in the morning but it’s different because he wants to actually see and appreciate his s/o’s face

Which ends up being even funnier because his glasses have broken multiple occasions because of all of this

Anyways, gyu is the only one able to crack a smile from him by teasing otherwise it’s a simple poker face

But he’s also extremely obvious about it without even meaning to be like gross he throws the condom away in the kitchen garbage for all to see pls wonu, gyu just wants to make breakfast and the boys just want to eat

Jihoon

Listen – jihoon is my favorite man ever because he acts all unbothered but you know he’s absolutely dying of complete embarrassment inside

Absolutely refuses to look anyone in the eye (just like his s/o jk unless…)

Prolly hides in his studio heck he prolly has sex in his studio because it’s soundproofed and all that jazz but also the members might come in so…

Like ofc he locks it and truthfully the most annoying person is prolly soonyoung bc ofc he’s gonna tease his bestie but prolly backs off now that the man is bulked up

BUT ALSO he totally makes the sexciest songs and beats (not necessarily horny related but like just some good stuff, got some good inspiration okay) afterwards so that’s another hint

*shows the leader line a bomb ass track* Cheol: You had sex didn’t you?

Stomps around like a child kind of like he walks very heavily the morning after for no reason but he’s very loud and aggressive as he walks around the dorm and it’s worse if he has flappy shoes on you just hear slap slap down the hallways…

Or is that what that sound is? HM sus

Seokmin

I know a hot take is that he’s really noisy but I feel like yes, that’s what it’s like in the beginning and he definitely gets teased a lot for it

So it ends up varying – it’s either a very loud night out of control or an eerie quiet

It’s so funny because he likes to act like nothing happened but everyone knows cuz he’s so obvious, cracking his jaw and eating air out of nervousness

Extraordinarily jumpy because he’s trying way too hard to be cool but we all know how that falls through and he’s just a sweet little loser

Rare moments he’s pretty cocky and smug in the morning because we also know that man is sculpted by the gods to give his s/o extreme pleasure so like yeah if he can make his s/o cum like over five times (pretty easy lbr) then like of course he should flaunt it

Very clingy the next day like shrinks himself into his s/o and then it’s worse when his s/o leaves because he’s whiny, pouty, and bugging his members all day

He’s also like very moody we all know he’s sensitive and gets in fights all the time and since he usually doesn’t sleep well for obvious reasons he can be very grumpy and cranky

Which is cute only in his s/o’s eyes because he rarely snaps at them

This is why the members don’t tease him as much before as well

Mingyu

In his goddamn element much like Cheol

Unbothered king inside and outside, all the way around

Skin is glowing, his crops are thriving, there’s an absolute spring in his step (unlike his s/o) as he whistles and cooks breakfast for his s/o and maybe for the boys

Shameless, really – like even if the man isn’t having sex he knows how to be a thirsty whore on main and also he loves giving advice, suggestions, and lending his fellow dudes an ear for their sex woes

Look, everyone can make fun of Mingyu for absolutely anything but no one can ever make him embarrassed about having mind-blowing sex okay

SVT is more likely to fluster him by poking fun at his domestic tendencies and how in love he is and then he’ll be all pouty and sulky because love is beautiful! Sex is great! Stop being so bitter!!

Now occasionally on rougher nights or if he’s in his emotional state of puppyhood, no one will see him until the late afternoon (and hear a bunch of things if he’s feeling spicy)

Otherwise, it’s gyu’s world and we’re just living in it

Def cooks with only an apron on and everyone except his s/o avoids looking at that

Minghao

Cool as a cucumber because I like to believe Hao’s into kinkier things and stuff so sex is really something he is extremely meticulous about

So it’s hard to like really tease him because he’s almost uppity about it

He’s actually really flustered on the inside because you know after that haze of lust passes it can be a bit embarrassing

But unlike the others, he’s good at masking his emotions that’s why he’s good at the kinky stuff he does ayo

Also really chill with his s/o as well like they’re just buddies almost but he does tenderly kiss and hug them but it’s kind of ironic because he acts as if he didn’t have them tied up and begging for him or like erotic oils dripping down their thighs – you get the message

I think it’s because he’s really thorough in his after care so day-to-day dynamics are very much laid back because too much intensity is not good

Lowkey there’s that one time Seungkwan was scarred for life when he casually said he liked the scent of whatever candle his friend was burning and then choked when Hao pulled out a dick-shaped candle like I can’t even lmfao

Seungkwan

Poor bby flustered as hell

Prolly ushers his s/o out the door and tries to escape back to his room

More than likely does a whole bunch of breathing exercises before getting ready to face the members

But they’re kinda soft on him like only Soonyoung might poke some fun but he knows it’s a touchy topic so he usually lets it go because there are much better things to make fun of boo for

But that’s kinda worse

Because mingyu is just like straightforward – how was the sex last night bestie? and Seungkwan chokes on his corn flakes and then everyone’s panicking until Cheol remembers the Heimlich maneuver exists

It’s worse when his s/o does stay for brekky because it’s just. Silence. And he’s making that cute face when he’s about to burst into tears or laughter esp when gyu serves his s/o a nice, big breakfast sausage

It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, he’s just a shy guy and it’s super endearing for all involved

Vernon

He’s just some chill guy okay

Has his earbuds in – can’t hear the haters

No one really knows if he’s listening to anything – maybe it’s audio porn from last night? Who knows?

Vernon? Vernon? Oh god he can’t hear me, he got his headphones on

Anyways yeah I feel like he’s just really easygoing about everything like it’s a “you” problem if you’re gonna make a comment pls seek free sex therapy with mingyu

He’s just really thankful to be in a happy and healthy relationship with great sex like what more can this guy ask for

A cat maybe

Luckily his s/o has like five cats so he’s usually over there instead it’s pretty rare to have sex in the dorms because you can’t leave the cats by themselves over night!

He’s not a heathen obviously

Only in bed though heh

But hey – cats don’t care how loud you’re being and they also don’t make fun of you (verbally bc they’re eyeing you judgmentally) but yeah long live s/o with their own place

Also likes to have sex with a thot playlist blaring so it all works out

Chan

Mr Loser ™

Oh god they’re gonna make so much fun of him no matter how many times he’s had sex

Of course the first time, they’re making him a crummy “congrats on the sex” cake because they’re insufferable

It’s why he rarely does it in the beginning lbr

But you know, once he starts bulking up and feeling himself he’s kind of insufferable too

Because he likes to act like he’s hot stuff

Walks around the dorm w/ his s/o in the morning flexing his arms and shit for no reason????

Like it makes his s/o giggle and sparkly-eye him but the members just groan in cringe

Sometimes he gets mad because they’re all like “pls let us know if you can’t handle him” and one time he mistook gyu flirting with his s/o and was like I’ll fight you and seriously gyu was just vibing and offering some kinky sex suggestions lmfao

[starandcloud]

42!Miles Headcannons

I am on a kick of Spiderverse, so Tumblr gets it-

Miles has separation anxiety with you, which got a lot worse when you started dating, him being the prowler and all

He cannot handle the sound of guns, it makes his anxiety race.

He'd never admit it but he genuinely likes your company, like he'll deny it then go out of his way to find stupid reasons to hang out with you. Which his mom plays into. Miles: Aye, Idiota. Come over. My mom misses you. Y/N: Ooookay? Rio, hugging Y/N: Y/N I've missed you, how've you been? Are you feeling okay? Have you been eating enough? Y/N, laughing: I'm okay Mrs. Morales, thank you for worrying about me though Miles: *Absolutely smitten by how you interact with his mom*

Leaves you gits randomly, like if he's out on a job with his uncle and he sees something he knows you'll like he'll swipe it (and leave money) and either leave it on your desk or put it on your window sill. You've yet to catch him

He HAS stopped and watched you sleep when he left you a gift, not in creepy way more like a "God... They're so perfect..." His eyes, hidden behind his lil mask, softened on you. He only left because the hallway light flicked on and he panicked. That was the loudest he had ever fled from somewhere, he didn't even close your window.

He is really artistic too, he has dozens of sketches of you in his sketchbook. You're his favorite thing to draw

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for Miles wanting to kill someone for you. But he would only think it, he'd never actually act on those thoughts. He couldn't bear the weight of taking a life, even if it was for you. He's a vigilante, remember

As terrifying as he seems, Miles is a HUGE baby when it comes to getting hurt. He'll act like he's fine, but when he's with his Uncle or Mom he cries. Like ugly cries, he's a huge baby-

Has Trypanophobia (The Fear of Needles), hates the sight of them and cannot handle it when he has to get shots

When he cannot handle anything anymore he goes to his dad's Mural and just sits there, he doesn't talk or make any noise. He just sits against the brick, sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't but he's always there late at night so no one really sees him

He doesn't talk to anyone he actually has a crush on, like he's flirty as hell with everyone but the person he actually likes he's really blunt and distant. Like a dumbass

I can 100% see Miles being Omni, like he could like anyone as long as he's close to them

We all know Miles' sleep schedule is FUCKED, he's a Vigilante, he doesn't get to sleep much due to everything being at night. But he still gets good grades and sleeps when he can

This is literally one of his posts on Twitter and you CANNOT tell me otherwise-

He isn't really bothered by people who're taller than him, or people who are a few inches shorter. But if you're below his chin he's wary, he's heard enough from Ganke not to mess with people that short. "They have to climb to get things, I don't wanna mess with someone who climbs counters.

I can see him being taller than 1610!Miles, cause 1610!Miles is 5'8" so I can see 42!Miles being anywhere from 5'9 to 5'10". Like it's not a noticeable difference if you're not paying attention, ya know?

Miles does Photography, but it's more of a hobby. He doesn't plan on turning it into a career, but he does it when he's got the chance, his posts look like this

Bubbly_Rose and Vanilla.Coffee.Addict. Are both his mom, different accounts to support her son. Best mom 100%

Miles has dozens of playlists on spotify, most of which are for his friends and family.

Cat person but has a german shepard named Luna

Had dreads ONCE and decided he hated them, so he stuck to his braids

Miles can cook, really really well. His mom and him used to bond through cooking and now it's something he does when he's stressed or upset

Depending on how tired Miles is, is how he sleeps. If he's just a lil sleepy, his legs are kinda bent and his arms are by his head, HOWEVER, if it was after REALLY tiring job with his uncle he kinda just falls onto his bed and sleeps like that

He usually doesn't go to anyone for comfort and comforts himself unless it's really bad then he goes to his mom or (if he really REALLY trusts them) his significant other

Miles has a tendency to flinch/move away from any form of touch that's not from his mother. He gets pins and needles if he's not expecting a touch and it is almost painful, I wouldn't say he's touch-starved but with his mom working so much it's easy to see that he would be

The one thing that brings Miles' to tears is watching his mom work herself to the bone and never being able to take a break. It makes him so mad that he can't help her, without it being obvious, that it reduces him to tears

He cries when he's mad

He hates it when people go through his things or move them. He has everything in a place, everything has to be perfect. Major OCD when it comes to his room, it's his space and he wants it perfectly clean

Miles takes really good care of himself, he keeps himself in shape (outside of being the Prowler) and makes sure to eat and hydrate right

Miles. Is. A. Huge. Softie for little kids. He acts like he can't stand them but the minute he's flashed a toothy smile from a little kid, he can't help but smile back

He considers a few people who aren't family, his family like Ganke

His idea of "A Perfect Vacation" is going anywhere with his mom and Uncle. It could literally be a trip to his Paternal Grandmother's house, and as long as his mom isn't working he is perfectly content

Miles tends to bite his nails and chew on his lips when he's nervous

By FAR the strangest thing Miles has ever seen was one of his classmates straight up touching their eyeball, that happened when he was 13 and it still freaks him out

Miles accepts advice relatively well, he doesn't show it but he does

He hates most pictures, but there was a few that his version Gwen took of him.

He is horrible at talking to someone he's got a crush on, like worse than 1610!Miles ;-;

Miles wakes up before his mom, when she's home, and makes her breakfast, he eats, showers, and goes to school, comes home, does his homework, goes to his boxing class (curtesy of Uncle Aaron), and depending on the day either goes on a job or goes to sleep

He has a few scars on his face from one of the first few jobs he was on when he wasn't far enough away from a bomb when it went off

Ocra. He CANNOT with the texture of it.

He loves stormy weather, its relaxing to him

He loves Fall and winter, the crisp air makes him smile

As a way to waste time, he goes to the gym or draws

When Miles wakes up from a nightmare, he kinda just lays there until he puts his headphones on and falls asleep to whatever song he's listening to

Miles collects little doo-dads from the street, it gives him something to fidget with

Miles knows English, Spanish, and French. He had to take a second language class and he COULDN'T take Spanish, so he's relatively fluent in French

Miles is the type of person to give someone the tightest most affection hugs, like even if he's just friends with the person. Hugs are like "I love you"s for Miles, they're sparing things from him

If Miles had three wishes from a genie he'd wish for: 1. His mother to either be paid more or for her to work less 2. His city to have less issues 3. To talk to his dad again

CROSSOVER: Miles is a gryffindor, with a Kingfisher Patronus and an 11.25 in Applewood wand with Unicorn hair ((I don't support J.K. Rowling))

Miles saw you in his clothes once and it MELTED him, he physically leaned against the wall and smiled stupidly

If you don't typically wear glasses (despite needing them, like my dumbass) and you wear them around Miles. The first time he saw you in them, he was distracted enough he walked into a wall.

Miles will protest being called cheesy things likes "Babydoll", "Pumpkin" "Sweets", "Bubba", "Light of My Life", "Tater Tot" (this happened ONCE, "Sunshine", "Dumpling", "Bambie", and "Babyface". He genuinely loves it when you call him that. Specifically: Babydoll, Pumpkin, and Sunshine. He still likes the other ones but loves those more.

[chainofclovers]

a life improver

As someone who works relatively long hours Monday - Friday and has traditional weekends off (and before I write another word in this post, I'll acknowledge that the drudgery of this is also a privilege, albeit a privilege that is wound tightly into the tangled web of late-stage capitalism)........anyway. As someone with weekends off and an intense M-F schedule, I hear a lot about the Sunday Scaries. I empathize, but I have ~~~~basically eradicated them from my psyche.

It's really simple. I avoid scheduling anything social from the dinner hour or later on Sunday, try to make sure all chores and house responsibilities are wrapped up by then too, and make sure I've got something very calm to look forward to on Sunday nights. My default is that I know I can smoke a little weed and do the Sunday crossword puzzle in bed with my wife. What a delight! It could be reading, it could be a phone date with a friend, it could be baking a treat, or doing yoga, or whatever. And sometimes it is those things. But I know that no matter what, a Sunday night will involve a smoke and a crossword, and I genuinely delight in it and anticipate it and look forward to it even as I'm trying to get as much joy out of the rest of the weekend as possible.

The other piece of the equation is Monday morning. I get up early before work to write most days, but Monday mornings are probably my most important writing time because I use it to kinda set the tone for the week. I don't need to dread my Monday alarm. My Monday alarm means "go feed the cats and drink coffee and write pornography about characters from Ted Lasso." Or "feed the cats and drink coffee and work on your novel." Or "feed the cats and drink coffee and do a random writing exercise." Having that buffer between the start of the week and the start of the workweek is key. My job is stressful but I often like it quite a bit, and making sure it isn't the first thing I'm confronted with on a Monday morning makes me resent it so much less than I otherwise would.

(I'll add that not having kids absolutely factors in here, in that I'm able to dictate my own use of my time with a lot more freedom than most parents have.)

I still have trouble sleeping on Sunday nights sometimes, but the reality of my workday is rarely as bad as anything I'm anticipating, and forcing myself to relax on Sunday nights and wake up early on Monday mornings to have time to myself has done sooooo much for just making me feel like it's my own fucking life, which I am the boss of. Work is an essential facet of my existence but it is merely one facet of many.

[imintoomanyfandomscuzihaveadhd]

Alright so pulling this right out of my ass but spider as a child or a toddler spider knowing him he would ran in a room that's off limits but he stole one of the scientist card running from recom and from quaritch in there base since spider is a 16 year old so he is a little trouble maker when spider is running he ran right beside a scientist grabbing there card running in the lab swaps the card running in locking it spider this poor boy the old theme we all know and somewhat love curiosity killed the cat he sees a bottle of blueish with white in it so he grab it and drink it when he put it down he heard the door open in the lab Finley hearing quaritch cussing up a storm walking inside with Lyle spider immediately hide under a table keeping him unseen until he slowly close his eyes the darkness he falling as he thought no he was turned into a toddler quaritch on the right still cussing without a filter Lyle looking around calling for spider until he felt something touch his leg he looked down to see a toddler he and for some reason I can imagine spider calling Lyle like "papa" because he sees Lyle first he would pick up the little spider and walked to miles telling him how he or how spider find him and spider god bless his tiny little soul he calls miles "Dada" what would they do with a toddler spider what if it can't be fix?

Recoms Raising Spider Headcanons

AHHHHHH 🥰🥰🥰 I love this

A/N: Ok just for plot convince let’s say the effects of the mysterious potion only last 16 days. 1 day=1 year so it takes about 2 weeks for spider to get back to normal. Also we’re just gonna pretend that it reset his hair so no dreads(It still gets long as hell tho)

774 Words

Warnings: fluff, Cussing

@hyperfixatedfandomer @naavispider

Look at his instincts finding his dad’s 😭. It’s like that one episode in spongebob where him and Patrick have the baby clam (Lyle is the mom✨)

Quaritchs emotions are through the roof😭

1.he’s pissed spider ran off in the first place and on top of that causing more problems by turning into a toddler

2.he’s stressed ASF. Demanding everygod damn scientist in that lab to tell him what’s going on and to fix his boy(they were testing the shit that comes from the tulkans)

3.He’s also kinda emotional tho because he didn’t get to see spider grow up into a teenager and now he has that opportunity.

I like to think spider looked ALOT like quaritch when he was little but as he got older started to look like Paz.

TODDLER STAGE(1-3)

The worst stage

None of the recoms sleep during these days

Spiders sleep schedule is so fucked up from living in the lab

He’s one of those nocturnal toddlers

Sleeps all throughout the day and is up all night

He’s a fast little fucker

Quaritch now understands how he got the name spider

He’ll will look away for one minute and all of the sudden spiders on top of a 8ft recom dresser

They obviously don’t have toddler clothes so he’s just wearing the smallest adult shirt they could find and it’s still huge

I can see them gushing over his curls

He definitely got those from paz

Spiders a bad ass toddler, I’m talking getting in stuff he’s not supposed to, biting, hitting, kicking, spitting, running

At one point Lyle says fuck it and makes a child leash

Despite being a literal demon he’s really clingy

Attached to Lyle and quaritch at the hip

Like quaritch had to go a patrol outside so he left spider with the medbay folks, it broke his heart when he shut the door and heard spiders little feet running to the door crying for dada to come back

He almost called the whole mission off

He definitely holds the recoms tails when following the around

EARLY CHILDHOOD STAGE(4-5)

Probably the easiest stage the recoms had to deal with

I mean spider was still a hell spawn but he was more reserved

The recoms were so drained from toddler spider they just shoved a tablet in his face

It worked though

Still really clingy (and quaritch loves it)

Still looks a lot like a mini quaritch

Not as active as they’re used to him being

MID CHILDHOOD STAGE(6-9)

This I were his ADHD Shines

Quaritch has never seen a kid this hyperactive in both his lifetimes

Like they look up and this boy is 50ft in the air using the pipes on the ceiling as monkey bars

Quaritch nearly dies from many heart attacks during this stage

Spiders finally big enough to fit into the exopacks and go with the recoms on patrol

Y’all remember Trazan 2 where Tazan is a kid yea that’s just spider

Lyle also teachs him to shoot (yk with the guns he can lift)

Spider has absolutely no patience

Annoys the hell out of EVERYONE, nobody’s safe

The tablet technique doesn’t work in this stage because his attention span is to small to focus

Quaritch notices he’s starting to look and act like Paz more

Like spiders hair is starting to get darker and his mother’s attitude is starting to show

PRE-TEEN STAGE(10-12)

Speaking of attitude it gets 10x worse in this stage

The second worst stage

This is the stage quaritch has been dreading since the toddler stage

He’s starting to turn into the spider they kno and love

His hair has now reached his shoulders

Z-dog starts putting Viking braids in his hair

He gets really attached to Z-dog in this stage

They’re the bitchy attitude duo

Literally doesn’t want to cooperate with anyone

Him and quaritch are at each other’s throats

Spiders always hungry and eats ungodly amounts of food

I mean he’s a growing boy

His Navi instincts are coming back to him

Like he disappears for like 15 minutes, all the recoms are panicking, and then spider shows up covered in war paint and mud with like 6 fish on his homemade spear

TEEN STAGE (13-16)

Finally

Spiders basically back

When that last day come he barley remembers anything that happened

It’s all like a blur to him

He wakes up pissed on that last day storms into recom meeting “WTF HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!” Cuz yk his dreads are gone

He honestly doesn’t remember most of it but loves listening to the recoms talk about the past 2 weeks

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

OC Questionare

Thanks for the tag @winterandwords and @illarian-rambling! I'm gonna compile the questions in this one 👍🏾.

I tag: @jezifster @weirdgirlcroix @the-void-writes @revenantlore @cryptid-s-wips (Only if you want! Open tag too)

Your questions

1. Be honest, you fucking up that dance floor? (Good or bad way doesn't matter.)

2. Something you think is stupid?

3. How's that sleep schedule looking?

Robots & Gardens crew I guess.

What are you most ashamed of doing?

Green: "Killing a protester for meh money. Was desperate at the time. Hopin' not to fall on desperate times again."

Peace: "Guess I'm ashamed if I dragged anyone into an unsuccessful plan. Stresses everyone out."

Hollis: "Working my old job. Shouldn't have stuck around so long."

Donnie: "Taking on extra enhancements to do this job."

Digits: "I wouldn't really say I've got a lot of actual friends. So I've gotta be doing something."

If you had one wish, what would it be?

Green: "Enough money to support all the peoples that roam in. 'Specially the kids and Peace. Peace might hate it, but she loves me it's fine."

Peace: "No more fucking smog. I want to see the sky. I feel like I haven't seen a clear sky since I was a kid. The hell is this?"

Hollis: "That I had focused more on my music. Love helping people but I shouldn't be used to seeing demolished prosthetics and what people look like screaming and sobbing in pain. You know? But maybe that's me."

Donnie: "More accessible tech. Damn it took me three damn lifetimes to figure all of this out."

Digits: "I just want prosthetics that don't suck ass and sleep. If they pick sleep tell them to make it eternal. I'm sick of this shit."

Where is your favourite place in the world?

Green: "Gonna take ya on a nostalgia trip a bit. I'd say Peace's parents's place. But maybe the diner with the good pops. The fizzies in the glass bottles with the real sugar. Oh hell yeah. Add Peace to the mix and a silent phone and I migh've finally died."

Peace: "There's this spot by the diner right. And there used to be a patch of trees and like an itty bitty pond thing? It was kinda like a really really deep puddle after it rains. Green and I used to sit there sometimes and chug fizzies back to back till we felt like we were gonna puke. Think one of us did one time."

Hollis: "There's a couple hangout spots. But one in particular has a longue sorta thing going. And I get to play my music for a crowd. Get to play my music for the gorgeous dancers when they show. And I usually get a mouthful of a beautiful person too. It's the place to be."

Donnie: "Those rooftop garden things. A lot of them do end up shrivelled and depressing looking after the chemical rain. But the ones that flourish. Really fucking flourish. It's gorgeous. Or just my own home garden. It's nice to stare at nature after fighting all day. Or staring at screens all day."

Digits: "Is it sad if I say my place? Feeling like I'm barely there anymore. It's comfy. There's usually food. The tv works. I like my room, bed's comfy."

What is (or would be) your favorite subject in school?

Green: "History. I actually understood it the longest."

Peace: "Foreign language. Language classes in general really."

Hollis: "Shit it's been awhile. Any of the hobby classes maybe. Really liked the hands on stuff." (Electives basically).

Donnie: "Science. The really broad environmental stuff. I didn't like the smaller stuff much."

Digits: "Math and trade skills. Ended up working construction for a reason."

Have you ever played a prank on someone?

Green: "Yeah. Think I ended up gettin' my ass beat by the menace though."

Peace: "Nope. Well maybe? I helped Green out with hers sometimes. I hate when that woman pranks me. Gets her off my back if she can focus it on someone else."

Hollis: "Pulled out a chair or two. Swapped drinks. Nothing special."

Donnie: "I don't think so. I don't think I'm clever enough to come up with a good one."

Digits: "People usually prank me. But I've gotten my get back a couple times."

If you could swap bodies with anyone you know for a day, who would it be?

Green: "Hollis maybe. She's cool, maybe I could get somethin' out of it."

Peace: "Digits. And I'm making her lay the hell down."

Hollis: "Don't think I could do it. Donnie gets injured all the time. Digits's arms spazz at random. I'd give myself a concussion in Peace's body. Get killed in Green's. And would be annoyed to clean up after drunk assholes at my hangout spot as a bartender."

Donnie: "Digits maybe. Give her a mental break from her prosthetics at least."

Digits: "Green. Green all day. No I didn't answer that too fast. Fuck off."

[yooniesim]

I REALLY don't want to come off as mean because I understand what it's like to struggle financially and the stress that puts you under, but I really really think it'd be for the best if you stopped using curseforge, Ceci.

Please do early access if you must! We get that it's not a matter of greed but rather a matter of survival, but please please use the means less damaging to others while keeping yourself healthy. Sims politics is nothing compared to a genocide. I hope you think about it, and I hope you can meditate on this choice. My thoughts are with you and your family 💜

Thank you for this kind comment, nonny! 💜

Honestly, I have considered it. Having a paywall is the last thing I want to do, but after living under this much financial strain for around a year now... well, it's weighing on me. As is using curseforge in the first place. I'll be honest- this month, I'll get $50 from cf. For the whole month. Sometimes it's more if I have points leftover from the previous month (so like $100 in one month), but usually that's the average. Having to use it for such (relatively) little money and dealing with the guilt of using it and the hate that results is pretty damn tough, I'll tell you that much. Like, curseforge fucking sucks and even beyond the boycott I resent the hell out of it at this point. I literally hate it and want to delete it so bad but it's the reason I was even able to even buy my meds this month. I've been working on making my patreon have better benefits without having an actual paywall, and some amazing people have kindly donated, but the amount per month varies so much it's tough to rely on. I'm really getting to be at a loss of what to do at this point. I've been exploring every other possible avenue of extra money I can that fits with my current job schedule, I do other freelance work online on top of that and cc making, and sell any stuff I have left from my collecting days. But I'm still in the red every month and it fucking sucks man. And then to come on here and have people say you love/support genocide, while researching and finding out even more about how Overwolf fucking sucks and trying to figure out how to help the boycott, then people just straight up lie about what you said so others will gossip about you publicly like middle schoolers- it's seriously awful all around. Sorry to vent at you nonny, but it's honestly depressing.

I'm on the verge of just saying fuck it, but the truth is, I'm scared to. The bottom line is that I can't function without my meds, and no one here on tumblr is gonna be with me irl to help me or pick my ass up, you know what I mean? When I log off here, simblr doesn't matter, I'm the one that deals with my own life and any negatives of that. And no matter what I do online or irl activism wise, I have this shit haunting me in the back of my mind. It feels like selling your damn soul for 50 fucking dollars, man. And how pathetic is that, you know? I guess it probably sounds like a simple choice to everyone else, but it isn't. I'm still deciding what to do and hoping, praying, that a few opportunities I'm trying to get irl yield some results. Cos like, even with CF, I'm kinda screwed either way at this point lol. I don't know. What does it even matter, right? I'll consider the early access option, but it's more probable I just quit CF and not do any paywall/CC making in general before that happens. I think if I did early access all my want to be a cc creator would suck out of my body even more than it is now. And boy has it fucking waned ever since I started posting on CF. I don't know. It's literally midnight and I think I need to sleep on it- I was supposed to already be asleep, but I saw your ask and had to answer it, oops. Sorry to ramble, nonny. Thanks again for the ask and being understanding 💜

[savegalkissy]

Imagine Lupin’s true death isn’t what anyone excepted it to be.

When you think of Lupin’s death, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? If your like me you’d expect fanfair, you’d expect badasserie, you’d expect explosions and fireworks and a high speed chase to be his final send off; after all it sounds like him doesn’t it? It sounds like how you’d expect Lupin to go out, the live fast die faster but harder and better way that seems all too Lupin, after all the man never has time for half measures, if he’s gonna go out, he’s gonna go out with a bang.

But imagine he doesn’t.

Imagine he dies so quietly it’s almost funny in a way.

Jigen is the one to find him of course. 

Because the routine on that day is as natural as breathing is. 

Another sleepless night of Lupin working into the wee hours of the dawn on some silly project or plan he had in his head. Maybe it was a heist planning or blueprints for some new device who know’s, all Jigen knows is Lupin once again is sleeping at his desk, his head on his folded arms with papers and pens and markers and other such gadgets and tools in disarray around his head. 

And it annoys Jigen because he told Lupin to go to bed but Lupin of course had to be stubborn despite his promise that he would eventually go to sleep. But Jigen shouldn’t be surprised.

But when he goes up to Lupin, to shake him at the shoulder awake like he has done for years, to get him up and either order him to go get proper sleep in a bed or wake up for coffee, imagine his shock when Lupin doesn’t wake up at all. Lupin is a deep sleeper, so Jigen just thinks that’s it. He’s seen Lupin fall off a couch enough times to know that.

But as seconds turn to minutes, he begins to realize that no amount of yelling or shaking or pleading helps in rousing up his buddy. It takes him to long to finally realize what has happened but he can’t accept it cause it’s not natural.

But it makes sense when you think about it. For Lupin’s body to just. . give and buckle. 

Over the years, Lupin has accumulated a substantial amount of injuries and trauma, maybe even more sothen his friends have over the years and that’s saying something when one is a hard-trained samurai with a killer sword and the others been a hit man for many years even before Lupin met him. Fuck even Fujiko and all the danger she’s gotten herself into, has gotten pretty lucky, she’s still scarred of course, they all are, but nothing like Lupin.

Lupin on the other hand hasn’t been so lucky over the years. He’s been lucky to make it out alive yes and he’s still relatively young, but the business he’s in is a dangerous one, all those cuts and shots and trauma and broken bones no matter how much they heal,  builds up over the years and even while he’s still young, he’s old on the inside, his body constantly healing and breaking and healing and breaking all over again and again in a vicious cycle that leaves him vulnerable even though he feels like he can take on the world.

His other habits, his broken sleep schedule, his consistent worrying’s, and his lack of eating properly don’t help much either. The stress that leads to on the body itself can be devastating in and of itself. 

So when Lupin does die, you would think it wouldn’t come as a shock to anyone when you think about it. He had been driving his body into the ground for years, just long enough that sooner or later something had to give . . .something had to finally say enough is enough and quit.

But it doesn’t come to a shock

Because he doesn’t die like they expect him too.

It’s almost kinda funny.

Because a coroner would label the death as natural. 

After all, whats more natural then peacefully passing in one’s sleep.

But everyone else would probably disagree. No they would disagree. Cause Lupin was anything but natural. And a peaceful death is about as unnatural as they come for someone like him.

Especially for him.

~~~Snuffy

Bro

Why would you do this my soul

But also it’s somewhat realistic. Especially if it’s an older lupin we’re thinking of.

[moefongo]

The bachelors (romanced) reacting to the builder's death (Part 2)

The long awaited part 2 is here! I put it under a cut for spoiler alerts, and this one doesn't have any trigger warnings but like always if you need me to tag something let me know! Part 3 is Qi and Unsuur, i didn't add them here bc i was afraid of the world limit fucking everything up (its happened so much that i just aaa)

Also this has been in the works since before the news of Pen coming out as non being a marriage candidate (which has me devastated bc he's growing on me and i kinda wanted him to rebel against Duvos and having his own family as he deserves)

Oh yeah English isnt my main language so if anything sounds weird, then its just that lol

Tw for mentions of suicide and murder

Pablo

This was supposed to be a normal day for them both, the builder was going to go off to help the Civil Corps, while he worked the barber shop as usual. They had made plans to take the evening off, once the builder came back from their mission. Days prior, Pablo had interrogated them so he could know what they were going to do with the Civil Corps, mostly so he didn’t have to worry too much about them. Because he wasn’t prepared to handle the stress of dating a builder like them.

The morning passed rather uneventfully, and as there were no more clients scheduled for the morning, Pablo took a short break by walking out to his usual spot on the porch of his barber shop. But as he settled into his usual spot, Pablo sensed something was off, not that he was superstitious but he felt that something bad happened or was about to happen. His first thought was that the builder was in trouble and it worried him immensely; were he the impulsive type, he would have run after them. 

All he could do was hope for the best, and decided to head inside once again to find something to distract his mind for a while. He opted to clean up around the salon and rearrange the furniture several times. After an hour of cleaning and rearranging, Heidi entered the salon. He knew her better than anyone, and by the look in her face it was more than enough for him to know that something terrible had happened.

She didn’t beat around the bush with the news, but after hearing that they had died, Pablo felt like the world was crumbling around him. Heidi knows him just as well as he does her, and she simply stopped talking and hugged Pablo tightly. Up until that moment Pablo was fighting back his tears and when Heidi hugged him, he just broke down crying. 

Pablo was inconsolable; he felt a sense of despair that was eating away at him. As he cried he screamed and begged the Light, for the first time in his life to please bring back the builder to him. 

After two hours Heidi was still consoling Pablo, and at this point he looked like a mess, his eyeliner and mascara all messed up and his hair all disheveled. But as if a miracle had happened, the builder swung the door of his salon open in an almost dramatic fashion. When Pablo locked eyes with the builder, he ran over to them before even giving them a chance to enter properly. Pablo hugged them and cried even more, but this time he cried of relief. 

Once the builder and Pablo were busy talking, or more likely Pablo scolding them for being so reckless and for making him cry so much. Heidi felt relieved as well and as she left the salon. And now that they were alone Pablo closed his salon for the rest of the day and forced the builder to stay and rest with him, which means that they are going to have a spa day and then sleep the remainder of the day away without a care in the world. Besides, the builder has all the time in the world to explain everything to the rest of the town, but for now they have to make it up to their boyfriend. 

Pen (He is the spy)

In Duvos Pen had no name, he was only known as Tiger or The Tiger; his mother was Duvos and his father was the Emperor. And thanks to this, he was raised and educated to become a soldier and a spy. His mission began way back in Meidi, where he infiltrated the Church of the Light and soon after he was sent to Sandrock and thus the new “Protector of Sandrock” was born. 

He never meant to get too attached to anyone in this town, let alone the new builder. But eventually he fell in love with them. Pen knew it would be a terrible mistake, but he couldn’t fight his love for them, since it was the first time he’s loved and been genuinely loved by anyone. Besides, being with the builder came with the benefit of gaining useful information for his mission.

Pen usually was in the know of whatever the Civil Corps did, except for today. He did his usual round, taking a detour to check on the builder, since it was around the same time they returned from the Commerce Guild. Oddly, they weren’t there, perhaps they went ruin diving or were out gathering materials, and resumed his patrol without much worry. 

Pen also suspected that there was a secret agent amongst the citizens and whoever it was, was closing in on him and he had to be very careful in his actions. Especially since Logan also knew of his true nature. But that’s a story for another time, luckily he was able to shift the blame to Logan and have him ousted as an outlaw, as an attempt to cover his tracks for now.

As noon rolled around, there was still no sign of the builder, and it was odd since they usually have lunch together and then Pen gracefully flexes his perfect muscles to motivate the builder for the day. He waited a little longer for them to come by, but now he was worried. Many questions ran through his mind. What if someone from Duvos caught on that he was in a relationship with the builder and assassinated them as a form of precaution? This was his top fear since a fellow spy did the same thing in Portia and had to leave them and their new born baby, and as to not repeat the same mistake, he received a communication to not engage romantically with anyone in the town, and if he did the person ran the risk of  getting killed. 

Now Pen ran to the Civil Corps, only to find the office empty, except for some paperwork that was carelessly left in plain sight that detailed their plan to lure Logan’s goat to find his hideout. Trying to remain positive, Pen hoped they weren’t dead, just on a mission. Still though he needed to know they were okay so using the information on the papers he made his way to the spot where the bait was left, and followed the horse’s and goat tracks until he spotted Justice and Unsuur frantically screaming the builder’s name near a cliff. 

His heart was beating so hard he felt it ringing in his ears as he walked closer to them. Pen loudly yelled at them demanding to know what happened to them, and all Justice could do was apologize.

His whole world was falling apart, though he knew he had to end things with the builder sooner or later, he never wanted to lose them like this, without a goodbye. He screamed at them both for being so reckless. Then he demanded them to leave as he would handle the recovery of their body himself. With no other choice, Unsuur and Justice headed back to town and left Pen to find a way to rescue the builder. On the other hand, Pen waited for them to leave, and broke down crying. 

There was nothing he wanted more than to have the builder alive and next to him. Perhaps he could abandon this life and get them to run away with him and start a new life somewhere far away from Duvos. But that was only a dream far from his reach, especially now. 

After somewhat composing himself, Pen began to look around for a safe route to climb down the cliff, though his first idea was to jump and if he died, at least he could be reunited with the builder. Eventually he began walking further until he found a spot safe enough at first glance to begin his descent. In the distance, however, was a beaten and bruised builder, who had taken quite a whooping from Logan, and unfortunately forgot to pack supplies. They were limping back to town and on their way they spotted Pen who was trying to climb down. With all of their strength they screamed for Pen and he immediately turned to look and saw them. Pen felt like he could breathe again, and ran towards them, not wanting to waste any time in reuniting with them. 

Once he reached them he saw the state they were in and felt horrible for not being there to keep them safe. He then gently scooped the exhausted builder in his arms and carried them back to town. They had passed out, but were safe in their hands and it was all that mattered. In his mind, he promised that he would leave his old life behind and start a new one with them here in Sandrock. A life without Duvos or any missions, a life where he was simply Pen, The Protector of Sandrock. 

Pen (He is not the spy)

Pen was raised in the church as an orphan. He was placed in an orphanage in Meidi after his mother died in the hands of a Duvos soldier, since they lived close to the border and right in the middle of all the conflict. Ever since he wanted to help those in need and protect people from any dangers, especially Duvos. In Sandrock, he took on his role of defender. Life was simple for him and things got better when he became the builder’s boyfriend. This relationship pushed him to be an even better version of himself and work hard to keep his beloved builder safe from any danger.

The day before everything happened, Pen knew that the Civil Corps and the builder were scheming something. It upset him greatly that the builder, who told him everything, kept this quiet and despite Pen pressing Justice and Unsuur for answers, both men kept quiet or dodged the questions. The builder did the same, and it worried Pen greatly that they were going to something dangerous. 

The following day, Pen stayed close to the builder’s workshop so he could follow them and the Civil Corps so he could know what they were up to. Though stealth isn’t his forte, he somehow managed to follow them unnoticed. So far it seemed they wanted to lure Logan’s goat to take them to his hideout, he thought to himself that all of the secrecy was unnecessary, but still he was as uneasy as ever. After a few moments, the goat took the bait and ran off, the builder charging behind it. 

The next moments were a blur, the goat stopping in its track at the edge of the cliff, the builder screaming as they plunged to their demise as he ran as fast as possible in a futile attempt to grab them as both Justice and Unsuur stood there petrified with shock and horror. 

All Pen could do was watch horrified as his beloved builder disappeared into the darkness. Saying he was devastated was an understatement, Pen was absolutely broken. He was numb, he didn’t have the strength to scream to the men beside him. The best they could do for him now was to take him back to the church. 

Once there, even Miguel was worried for Pen, since he had never seen him like this before. Every church member tried their best to make him talk but it was futile, Pen wasn’t going to say a thing. Burgess then thought it was best to give him some space and time to rest, in hopes that he’d open up about his emotions. 

The hours passed and the sun was beginning to set, while Burgess sat on a chair next to Pen’s door just in case he needed some help. Around that time the builder was headed over to Pen’s door but they were stopped by a very worried Burgess who bombarded them with questions about their well being and if they had any injuries. On the other side, Pen was sitting on his bed, still silent until he heard the sweet voice of his beloved builder. 

Pen was so excited that he tore the door off its hinges and threw it on the hall before picking up the builder and hugging them tightly. Burgess didn’t mind the door since the circumstances were extraordinary, since now Pen was back to his usual self.

The following days however, Pen made sure to stick right next to the builder under the pretense that he was going to be their personal bodyguard from now on, but in reality he was absolutely terrified of losing them again.

[seeminglyseph]

I feel really bad because relatives visited and I was so tired I just like. slept through the whole thing. and I'm worried that I'm gonna catch hell for being rude, or just. like. I feel like I missed a chance for human interaction. but I just... have been really tired lately. body sore. exhausted. also just like. I think my sinuses are inflamed or something because just. everything feels so fuckin' like. swollen. I feel like migraine-tastic and have not been able to get out of bed.

and like. I am not sure the balance that needs to be set 'cause they all had to be doin' renovations in the room next to mine, and like. ultimately, hopefully, I will be the one benefiting from it. and like. yay. but also. loud banging and dust and stuff as a result of renovating that room, so boo. and like. I don't know how to like. sort myself or organize my sleep schedule to be convenient so it's like. I'm trying but also like... if I get high stress and need personal space and time alone it feels like I just end up adapting to nocturnal as a coping mechanism. like the more I am overwhelmed by being awake the more I shift so being awake is at night? and it's like inconvenient to other people and I want to try and adapt it to work at a timeline that's like... normal and decent for the people who have ended up working around me, but like. instead it's like... "I'm gonna scream and throw up and tear all my hair out"

which like. not conducive to an environment where I can like. handle this. the migraines and the intense heart rate is like. absolutely thrashing my ability to function and like. I fully do not know what to do. And it feels so... like. A me problem, that's like. so hard to describe. that like... I don't know if I'm just being crazy. and I know I do feel crazy because of other things, so like it doesn't help... and I'm wondering if I caught a mind case of covid and couldn't tell it from a cold or flu and now I have long covid and if there's any way to tell if that's the case since I also have had the vaccine so I'll have the antibodies anyway. or maybe I had a really nasty reaction to the vaccine, I mean it's a net good to have a vaccine but not everyone is gonna have a positive reaction and I've always been really sensitive to medication. There's been some ties to IIH and the Johnson&Johnson vaccine, I got the pfizer but I saw somewhere there was a controversy with the pfizer too. I'm obviously not anti-vax in any way, I think they're a net good. I'm just like... always going to be in some way cautiously aware of the fact that the medical industry is fallible and an industry? Like I've gotten the vaccine and boosters, but as a human being I'm allowed to be like.. "I've had a lot of health issues since then, I wonder if there's a connection or if they are unrelated. I wonder if there's a way to test if they are related and if there's a way to do that without undermining the whole industry and just going 'I am a person with health issues that might make the vaccine behave differently within my body'" you know? like not. 'vaccine bad' but like 'my body is not a typical healthy body, my autoimmune issue might cause the vaccine to react differently' so my questions are not laid at the validity of vaccines as a concept but at like... 'could there have been complications due to the medications and compromised system already housed within my body' you know?

It's such a thorny issue because like. any question that seems to be against the vaccine is like... seemingly irrational anti-vax, but like... I'm just wondering if I happen to have like. A fucked up weird body that happened to have a toxic response in some way? it has nothing to do with like... Is the vaccine bad, but like... was it bad for me, I guess. And even then it's like. kinda speculation because I'm overwhelmed and I feel really really sick and I really don't know who to ask for help anymore?? sometimes it's like. fuck it's been like... two years since we found out about the pressure in my brain, and I still feel like I don't know what's going on. I just have migraines and a fucked up heart rate, and most people kinda forgot about the heart rate because I've been doing a bunch to keep it down because I feel so fucked up when it gets high. So it looks really low, but I also look really lazy. but I feel it beating really hard but I don't know how to like... prove that to people, because it's mostly just a feeling. and things just smell... strongly and bad. all the time. and I don't know what to do about that and I don't know if it's topiramate or not anymore... and considering my mom is like. the queen of making me doubt my perception of reality in her own little way, maybe I've just spent 3 years living exclusively with my mom without my dad to balance out her habits and I just. Am fully losing my mind. "I don't smell anything. I didn't notice anything. It's not that bad. You don't really have any needs." etc.

I don't know what is healthy to want or need, and since I've been kinda my mom's keeper since I was a child and now my dad's not here I feel like I have to be here for her... but also I'm disabled and in debt so I fully cannot move or get a job or go to school because like... it feels like making excuses but like. I am very ill and in a lot of pain, disability is a real thing that prevents people from functioning and I don't have to keep justifying it to myself when I know full well how bad my situation is and can be. I know what trying to keep up can do to me and what I'm incapable of doing. just because if someone took a picture I would look like a person that people like to make jokes about, doesn't mean that the inside of my body works right. That's the shame talking. I know full well that I can't 'just try harder' because I tried harder and just got sicker. I *know* that. I'm going to doctors, I'm doing my best with what I have and it's okay that it's not as much as what other people can do. it's okay. I'm allowed to be sick and need support. That's what being disabled is. Having a hobby that I do now and then doesn't prove I'm not disabled, I can't curl up in a ball and die just because things take effort and drain me. I can't only prioritize self-improvement or helping other people. Sometimes I need to have fun or do things for me. It's okay to spend time playing a video game or drawing pictures that are just for fun. I can exist for me that's fine. it's normal and reasonable and in fact probably recommended because my mental health is necessary for a healthy lifestyle.

oh I am definitely talking myself down from a guilt spiral I don't know why I am in this weird headspace. what the fuck...

[tacticalhimbo]

— OC INTERVIEW

name: vincent hale

nickname: v, vin, vinny

gender: genderqueer transmasc

star sign: gemini sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising (double gemini oh god)

personality type: entp (the debater). this man is charismatic. he's a quick thinker. but god does he have an argumentative streak. he is stubborn to a fault

height: … 5 feet. short king energy.

orientation: bisexual

nationality/ethnicity: white american

favorite fruit: oranges. vinny fucking loves oranges. he likes most citrus, really. but oranges just hit for him

favorite season: late winter/early spring. that period of time when there's still snowfall and a notable chill in the air, but things are a little less wet and miserable

favorite scent: i feel like vinny is a spice kinda guy. maybe some more smokey tones, the occasional woodsy tone, but a lot of it is like warm. thinking like. parfums de marly althaïr

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee. he drinks that shit dark too. one, because it's luxurious. two, because he cannot survive without some form of caffeine. he'd honestly love shit like death wish roast

average hours of sleep: it's either 2 or 12 babey! he already had a pretty chaotic schedule prior to the relic incident, but it was just consistent enough for him to survive. now, though? he's either kept awake because of all the shit going on, or he's so exhausted by the neurological and physical stress that he's gone to the world for the day

dogs or cats: cats. dogs uh, well, they aren't exactly around anymore. most animals aren't due to all the illnesses that spread. and he did adopt nibbles, so-

dream trip: even though he's already been, he would love to revisit japan's konpeki plaza. it's between that, or making a visit to misty out in the polish wilderness and truly being able to step away from the big city enivronment for a month or two

number of blankets: one, but it's large and it's got a nice weight to it. not too thick to where he gets hot, but not super thin either. it's also a sherpa blanket. he fucking loves sherpa-

random fact: i've told you all how vincent has considered having a risky rendezvous with jenkins. this i know. but consider also: vincent buttering up and sleeping with meredith is canon. he freaky freaky like that (positive). and yes, the "weapon" you get after… she did use it on him.

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tagged by the lovely @perpetuagf to fill out this meme! switching out of my fixation for a second solely to talk about one of my stinkiest blorbos <3

idk who to tag so if you wanna do this please do!! <3