#alright I'mma shut up now

[jetblack4realz]

lake days iv - jake "hangman" seresin x reader

summary - jake is a regular in your household (collection of cute jake moments basically)

warnings - just a very domestic relationship with a lack of a ring which makes you want to scream

word count - 3.4k

pt i , pt ii , pt iii , pt v

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as your relationship continued, jake realized very quickly that the worst part of your weekends off was going back to sleep at base. and then waiting around for the better part of the morning before heading to your house to work on the truck you'd just recently bought because you'd been called in to tutor some new pilots or review prep work for an upcoming mission that he'd spent all night finishing.

soon enough, you found yourself coming home to jake over the hood of the truck in your driveway, tools from barrett's garage scattered around as he tirelessly tried to diagnose the issue with the engine.

he walked back into the house for the sixth time that day, grabbing a cup of water and chugging it quickly. "you alright, jake?"

"fine," he answered quickly. "do you have any floodlights?"

you glanced outside, watching the sun set slowly behind the pine trees surrounding your home. "you're not gonna keep working, are you? have you even eaten anything?"

"i've helped myself to a few snacks, but i wanted to figure this thing out before the end of the day," he answered. "i changed the oil and tried to bleed the brakes, but i think something's clogging 'em. i'mma go figure out which-"

"jake, let's just get some take out and rest," you told him, approaching him with a few slick steps. you rested your arms around his torso as you smiled. "why don't you stay the night? you seem tired and i don't want you driving back all by yourself."

"i'll be fine," he insisted.

"okay, let me rephrase: i want you to stay over tonight. will you please?" you asked sweetly, looking up at him with a soft smile. he grinned, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

"well, sure baby," he said. "anything for you. let me just clean up my things, return the tools to barrett, and then we'll get some food. deal?"

"deal," you nodded.

when you woke up the next morning, you didn't think it would be to your mother calling you. you checked the time with a groan, pulling jake's arm off of your torso as you scooted to the edge of the bed - seven thirty in the morning. you raised your phone to your ear after pressing the little green phone icon.

"what's up, mom?" you asked, your eyes still shut as you waited for a response.

"are you coming to church today?" she asked through the phone.

"what?"

"church, honey. you coming?"

"what time?"

"same as always, 2 o'clock. we've got dinner afterwards too. maybe jake can come! or is he working?"

"no, not today. he's over right now actually."

it was like he knew you were talking about him, reaching over to you with one eye peeked open. you grabbed his hand with a small smile, squeezing it gently.

"bring him to church. he's a church man, ain't he?"

"well, he is from texas, ma." your laugh was tired, but genuine, and it made jake smile as he scooted closer to you.

"bring him. and bring him to dinner after. finn here is dying to see him again."

"you have finn over at yours?"

"he usually runs over here for breakfast. dad buys the sugary cereal brynlee refuses to."

"hmm, sounds like finn."

"i'll see you later, honey. bye-bye, i love you."

"love you too, ma, bye."

you dropped your phone on your nightstand, immediately rolling back into bed and into jake's awaiting arms. you sighed contentedly as he pulled you close, lips to your forehead before settling you against his chest again.

"we going to church?"

"yup."

"i don't have anything to wear."

"call logan."

so, after you two woke up again, at nine this time, he did. finn was all too happy to run a gray polo over to your place, immediately thrusting it into jake's arms and situating himself in your pantry, searching for goodies.

"finn, get out of there," you laughed. "grandma told me all about your cereal run to their house this morning."

"aw man!" he cried, stomping over to where you were laid on the couch and plopping next to you. you pulled him into your side, messing up his hair. "stop!"

"let's watch cars," you said, flicking on your tv and clicking through your streaming services until you found said movie. you knew how obsessed he was with it, and so you were equally surprised when he stopped you.

"let's watch planes," he said. "it's like cars, but planes."

"i don't think i've seen that before," you hummed, but it was in the suggested section below cars, so you clicked on it.

"i love this movie," he told you.

"is it because your cool aunt y/n flies planes?" you teased.

"no, it's because i do," jake said, reentering the room in logan's polo and a clean pair of dark wash jeans. you smiled at him, being obvious as you checked him out, though finn couldn't tell from in front of you.

"well," finn said, dragging the word out for effect. "i mean..."

"no way!" you exclaimed, sitting up quickly and beginning to tickle the boy's sides as he shrieked with laughter. "i'm supposed to be your favorite! i was there when you were born!"

"doesn't make you cooler, y/n," jake said in a sing-songy tone, laughing as finn pushed your hands off to run to him. jake caught him quickly, pulling him up into his arms before throwing him back against the couch. finn sat up quickly, running back to the aviator but jake just leaned over and snatched him up by the legs, holding him upside down.

finn laughed again as jake brought him over to you, carefully laying him across your lap as you tickled his stomach again. "you're so mean to me, finn."

"i'm sorry!" he laughed, pushing your hands away. "you're my favorite!"

"ha! knew it," you said, relinquishing your hold on the child with a smug smile. jake rolled his eyes, scoffing a slight laugh as he joined your side.

"whatever, y/n."

you sent finn back to his family to get him ready for church after the movie wrapped up and you went upstairs to find a dress you thought was suitable for church. you landed on a comfy, ruffly floral midi dress that was ruched at the top with elastic thread to give you some shape. it even had pockets.

you took to the bathroom, pulling out your makeup bag as you turned on some old worship songs you listened to in highschool, appreciating the sense of nostalgia that washed over you. also pulling out your curling iron, you turned it on and began humming to yourself as you wiped some moisturizer onto your cheeks.

you did most of your makeup, only leaving your lashes out as you curled your hair the way you liked it. you were so used to keeping your hair in tight buns that it was so gratifying to be able to style your hair in a cute way - even if you knew it was just going to be back in a bun the next day. you turned off the iron, unplugging it now so you wouldn't freak out later.

"it is well, it is well... with my soul," you sang quietly, curling your lashes as jake walked into the doorway, leaning against it with a small smile. "what?"

"nothing, you're just cute," he said, coming behind you to wrap his arms around you as you continued your makeup routine.

"so are you," you told him with a smile.

"we gotta leave soon. you almost ready?" he asked, kissing your temple.

"just finished," you answered, turning around in his arms to smile at him. "you wanna drive?"

"if it means we don't drive the subaru, then of course," he said, taking your hand and dragging you out, turning off the lights as he went. "let's do this thing!"

"i haven't really been to church much since my first deployment," you told him as you drove to the small building about fifteen minutes away. "just the few times now that i'm back."

"i miss it," he told you, glancing at you with a small smile. "i hated it as a kid, but now i realize that it was actually fun. got to be with my friends and family in a peaceful environment."

you nodded. "i get what you mean. my mom always tried to keep us so involved with coloring pages and small snacks. my grandpa was the preacher, so that helped a bit, but i really just liked coloring."

and when you sat with your family, your two month old new little niece called ella who alice and barrett had been more than happy to let you hold perched on your lap, you realized that your mom still had the same habits.

jake happily accepted a coloring page from everleigh, helping her draw on it over a notebook on his knee. the red crayon he held carefully colored in the sash on Jesus' robe, everleigh scribbling over his hair with the brown.

"looks great, honey," you whispered to him with a smile.

he winked at you, grinning and whispering back, "i'm an excellent crayon artist."

after church, you all returned to your houses to change into comfy clothes and then headed to your parents' house. you and jake elected to walk the ten minutes to their house instead of drive and you took the opportunity to slap his butt as he locked up and you skipped down the driveway.

he laughed loudly, following after you and wrapping his arms around you from behind, keeping you from moving forward. "what was that for?"

"you just look good in your sweats, babe," you told him, turning around and matching his grin before pressing your lips to his.

"you look good in yours too," he hummed against your mouth, pulling away for a moment to just go back in for a shorter, sweet kiss. you laughed, grabbing his hand and stepping backwards.

"come on, mom's got a roast in the crockpot."

family dinner was always really fun for you and was always incredibly special to jake. he appreciated being included and feeling like he was a part of your family - because he really did. he could feel that they all loved him, and he loved them too. he loved being around your brothers and dad the most, though. having grown up with only sisters he craved the camaraderie of brotherhood, something he'd only found on the football team and hoped to get more of in the navy, but only finding it in a few other aviators - namely javi "coyote" lopez and johnny "cash" richards who you spent many nights in the bar and days on the beach with back in hawaii.

and your brothers loved him too.

"i challenge you to a game of speed," logan said to jake as you all finished up your ice cream and brownies. jake grinned.

"game on."

it was intense, but after five rounds, jake had him beat at cards. logan was dramatic as he sighed and traded places with darren, letting the younger boy have a go at beating jake.

but he didn't. and neither did josh. or barrett. or your dad. or kyrie, your mom, alice, or you.

but, brynlee had game, and you all knew it. they tied twice, and as the fifth round carried on, you all watched intensely. jake was quickly running out of cards as brynlee tried to jump into his run, but to no avail. and then suddenly, they were both stuck.

"can't keep going?" you asked. they each had two cards left. they nodded, eying their cards as they grabbed a new card from the side decks. "ready, go!"

it was a 6 and a 3.

brynlee placed a 7 just as jake placed a 2, then jake quickly slapped his 8 on top of her 7 and cheered in victory.

"oh come on!" she exclaimed, sitting back with a frown as her husband high-fived your boyfriend.

"i'm never challenging you to speed again," logan laughed.

you all started to gather your things, wishing your parents a farewell as you all went to your respective vehicles, or in your and jake's case, began to walk. you had your hand clasped in his as you walked down the road, finn yelling "bye!" through the window as they drove by.

"i don't wanna go to work tomorrow," you groaned, leaning into him as your hand dropped from the wave you sent to the five year old.

"me neither," jake sighed. he squeezed your hand. "we've got a debriefing for wednesday's mission. we gotta pre-run it tuesday."

"no, they moved it to tomorrow. and they switched out bambi for fritz."

"why?"

"bambi freaked yesterday while i was over with the new guys. came back from a run all frazzled, quit on the spot."

"what happened?"

"i don't know. cash said they were out on a routine flight when they came across some cuban bogies. freaked out bambi i guess."

"so, we've got fritz?"

"unfortunately," you groaned. "luckily cash is my backseater. wish i had coyote though."

"wish you were my wingman and not stuck with the wso's," he told you.

"i'm still your wingman, just a wingman with an extra mission," you answered.

"if anything i'm your wingman. can't really lock in our targets without cash guiding us in."

"true that."

you walked in silence the rest of the way, you swinging your hands slightly and making jake smile. as soon as you were in the door, you were rushing upstairs to brush your teeth and pass out, knowing you were in for a long week starting the next morning. jake locked up behind you before following your lead.

next thing you know, he's collapsing next to you as you pulled the comforter up to you chin and turning over to snuggle against his chest. you laced a leg in between his, your arm splayed over his torso as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

"this is comfy," he mumbled softly.

"i'mma sleep so well," you hummed, smiling up at him with evident drowsiness in your eyes.

"good. we're gonna need it."

after a very long week and successful, short mission, you were finally back home.

"hey honey," you mumbled, kissing the side of his head as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind. he was sitting criss-cross on the driveway working on switching the crank window of your new old truck to an automatic. he'd completely dissembled the door and was feeding the wiring to the switch he'd installed before you came out. "how's it going?"

"surprisingly well," he answered, turning to give you a quick kiss before returning to his work. "i haven't had a smooth install of these things, well, ever."

"well, i'm glad it's going good," you said, smiling softly. after twisting the wire ends together and slipping a boot over them, he turned to you with slightly knitted brows.

"you need something, darlin'?" he asked. you lowered yourself to the floor next to him, playing with the tools at your feet as he tested the window, it going up and down just as it needed to.

"no, just missed you," you hummed.

"i thought you had to go help curly with the trainees?" he asked, furrowing his brows as he glanced at you again.

"that's where i was this morning, but i'm all done now and i wanna be with you," you said. "you're out here every free second you got."

"i wanna get this finished as soon as possible, baby," he told you, attention back on the window workings. he reached for a screwdriver that you grabbed for him, beginning to return the plastic pieces of the door to their rightful places.

"i know and i appreciate that. i was just wondering if there's anything i could do to help?" you asked, looking to him hopefully.

"well, i'm just about done with this window and then i'll be workin' on the engine," he answered. "it's kind of a one person job, but i'd be happy for some company and a dj."

"i can do that," you said with a grin, pulling your phone out and pressing shuffle on your country playlist titled texas that consisted of mostly luke combs, tim mcgraw, morgan wallen, and dolly parton. "is it the transmission? are we gonna have to replace it?"

"well, after checking it out this morning i don't think so. i think the guy who had it before was just looking at the wrong things - the catalytic converter is clogged and i might replace the spark plugs just for the hell of it to try to keep from replacing or even just rebuilding the whole thing."

"that's good, right? makes things easier."

"a hell of a lot easier."

"and the burning smell when we drove it?"

"i took it over to your dad's to ask about that and he said there's an oil leak. all he did was tighten the drain plug and it's not leaking anymore."

"you went to my dad's?" you asked, smiling slightly as you watched him finish up screwing the door panel in.

"needed some help diagnosing everything. was thinking about bringing it back over when it comes to unclogging the converter - i ain't ever done that before," he said with a shrug. then he looked at you a little more intently, the screwdriver in his hand halting for a moment. "is that okay? do you not want me going to your dad's without you?"

"no, i don't mind at all. i actually like it, that you're comfortable with my family," you told him. he grinned, leaning to kiss you gently on the lips before screwing in the last two screws.

"baby, i think i'm more comfortable with your family than my own at this point," he answered.

you smiled, leaning into his shoulder as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "while i love that, maybe we should go out and visit your family? i'm sure they'd love to see you."

"ma would for sure, probably not dad," he said, his voice dropping a tone or two.

"why?"

"me and him got in a fight before i left for the academy - nearly ruined my family. have only really spoken to ma since," he answered, mind obviously recalling the events of that convoluted day.

"have you seen your ma since then?" you asked quietly.

"once, at graduation. but, that was three years ago and i've been all over since then. they don't even know i'm back in texas."

you were surprised at how casually he was offering the information, but it looked like he didn't think it was that meaningful, like it was something he could just brush off like he had for the last seven years.

"how about we do what mom offered the first time you came over?" you asked with a smile. "what if we invite them over to our place? a big barbecue. then, it's not all on you and everyone can be out and about, no real awkwardness. we can pull out cornhole and the volleyball net - though it might be all ripped up now that i think about it. anyways, there'll be plenty to do."

"i mean, it's a better idea than me just showing up one day," he mumbled.

"do you have nieces and nephews?" you asked. he nodded.

"a few. don't really know 'em," he said.

"well, if my nieces and nephews are any indicator, then they'll love you," you told him. "and they can play around with the kids. it'll be so fun."

"i'm not sure."

"just think on it. we can wait until the weather gets warm again," you offered. "if we're even still stationed here by then."

"i hope so. i don't wanna leave this baby all by herself," he said, patting the side of the blue truck as you laughed. you kissed his cheek.

"she sure would be lonely without you, babe."

[giggly-squiggily]

Headcanons to dabbles!! 😍 (girl I'mma try to keep this short bc every time I look back at these asks I'm like "omg Nym stop typing so much" LOL)

We've talked about this before but basically- Bachira has big ler energy and usually isn't afraid to act on it, buuuuut even he gets a little insecure sometimes and worries he's doing it too much. When he does Isagi is always there to pick him back up and/or scope out how the others are feeling for him. Lee!Bachira may or may not ensue? Either that or ler!Bachira surfaces again! Up to you! 👀

Drink water and stay cool and keep being amazing friend! 💖💖💖

*happy bachisagi noises* AHHH! NYM! I love this holy- *explodes in happiness for Bachira* Girl this is such a perfect headcanon- thank you for giving me the chance to write it! :D (I threw in some Lee!bachira towards the end and the nicknames we discussed hehe)

“Ahehahahahaha! Ohoohhokay ohohohokay, I’m gooohhohood!” Isagi cried, flopping forward in a fit of laughter. He gasped for air, arms around his sides as he slowly composed himself. “Whohoohhow…yohohou gohohot me gohohohod, thehehere.”

“Hehe, yeah!” Bachira was smiling, but there was something in his voice that made Isagi pause. The usual joy he always heard sounded…soft. Dimmed.

“Heh..hehe…he-hey..are you okay?” Isagi sat up, lowering his voice to not bring attention to them. Well- at least not anymore. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

Bachira blinked, wide eyed. Then he was smiling- the expression painfully fake. “I’m fine, Isagi! Don’t worry about it.”

“Well…alright.” Isagi nodded, dropping the subject for now.

Still- he couldn’t get the sight of Bachira’s shoulders drooping when he left for water.

~~~

He waited until it was just the two of them before bringing it back up.

“You looked sad earlier today. What’s going on, Bachira?” He asked after they ran some drills. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Huh? No- no, not at all!” The dribbler was quick to reassure him, shooting up from his stretch. “You didn’t do anything, I just-” He snapped his mouth shut, but it was too late.

“You’re just..?” Isagi gently prompted. “Please, Bachira- You can talk to me. I want to be there for you. If there’s something wrong, I want to help if I can. Or at the very least, be someone you’re comfortable enough to talk to about it.”

Bachira bit his lip, hesitant. Then he nodded, giving in.

“Do I…overdue it? The tickling thing.” He asked, something shy and nervous in his tone. “I know I tend to tickle you and the guys a lot- but I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I’m worried you guys might just be tolerating it for my sake.” The last part came out a bit fast- like he was forcing it out. Isagi let it all sink in.

“Hey.” He took Bachira’ hand, squeezing it softly and meeting his eye. “You don’t have to worry about that- not with me, anyway. I…like it, when you erm…tickle me.” He blushed, trying not to look away. “It makes me happy. I like it when you're playful. And you always back off if I’m not in the mood or reached my limit, and I appreciate that.

“I can’t speak for the guys, but if you want- I’ll do a room check later and see how everyone’s feeling. I’m sure in their own ways, they all feel the same, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll gladly do so.” He nodded, setting his conviction. “Would you be okay with that?”

Bachira was staring at him, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He nodded soon after, lips trembling as he pulled them into a wet smile. “Yeah..thanks, Isagi.”

“Yeah- I’m cool like that.” The brunette smiled, leaning in for a quick peck. “Now, since we’re on the topic…”

“Huh? Oh-Eheheahhahahaha!” Bachira was already laughing as the other boy pushed him over, scribbling gently into his sides. “Iihihihihisahahahhagihiihihi!”

“Just tell me if you want me to stop, but right now- I wanna see my bumblebee smiling!” Isagi cooed, pressing their foreheads together as he carried on tickling his boyfriend, relishing his precious laughter.

Send me a headcanon and I'll write a 300-500 word dabble for it!

[moralesmilesanhour]

Heyy i hope you're having a nice day and I was wondering if you could do a Miles morales x black reader . When the reader has problems with relationships like they always fall in love with someone and it just gose wrong but miles is always there for them. but one day something happens then the reader gose to miles talking about how they think their never gonna have someone to love them but Miles is like that's Wrong because I love you and they kiss or whatever. Sorry it's so long I hope you have a good day and thx u sm!!<3

I kinda took some liberties with this one, hope you still enjoy it 🫡 (reader does have some set implied features if that's okay)

You lean back on the side of Miles' bed mid-conversation, and stare up at the ceiling.

"You ever had a crush, Miles? I'm always tellin' you about mine."

Miles pauses for a beat, eyes suddenly darting across the room before landing on your side profile.

Nervously tasting his own chapstick, he answers, "...One. I have one."

You turn to him and your eyes light up. "Oh my gosh, who? And why you ain't tell me?"

"Hey, I thought we were talking about your crush," he says skeptically, narrowing his eyes at you with a grin.

"Alright," you raised your hands in the air, "touchy subject."

"What's his name? This dude you won't shut up about."

"Jayden."

Miles' eyes go wide. "Hol' on, Nadja's boyfriend?"

You froze. Nadja was in the homeroom next door, easily recognizable by the neat braids that swung just above her knees. She never forgot her lip gloss at home, her face as smooth and shiny as her legs.

"That...makes sense," you say, shoulders slumped.

Miles quirked an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

You shook your head, "Nothing."

"Look, it's plenty fish in the sea," your friend nudges you with his elbow, "and between you and me, I saw that nigga picking his nose in class the other day. I personally think you dodged a bullet."

The two of you burst into hearty laughter. When you caught your breath and it subsided, you sighed.

"You think any of them fish in the sea are ever gonna figure out I exist and ask me out?"

"Didn't Tyler do that last month?" Miles asked, with a curl in his lips like he'd just smelled rotting garbage. You fixed your eyes on the ground.

"Stood me up."

"Oh," Miles says quietly. "What about Michael-"

"He was joking." Your voice sounded tight, like a rubber band stretched too far.

Miles said nothing. All he could do was trace the slope of your nose with his gaze and wish he could make the pout on your purple-toned lips go away.

You brought your knees up under your chin. "I don't think I'mma have anybody to go to prom with."

"I could go with you."

"Miles, you don't count," you said with a sad smile. The boy felt a pang in his chest, but still said nothing and let you continue.

"I mean like...someone who's gonna pick me up at my house with flowers and shit, take me to the after-party, too."

"So you're saying I can't do that."

You look up, and a frown has settled on Miles' features.

"No, I mean like...cuz he wants to."

"I want to," Miles said under his breath. You blinked.

"One more time?"

He gave you a hard, determined look, taking a deep breath.

"I want to. All of it, I want to." His brows were furrowed like he was serious, but you didn't want to take your chances.

It's your turn to frown now. "Miles, don't do that. You just said you already had a crush-"

"Oh my God, Y/N, it's you."

Glassy, brown eyes were fixed on you as his words hung in the air.

"I..."

Your heart rate picks up until it's in your throat when the boy's expression doesn't change.

"For-for how long?'

Miles shrugs, gaze directed in front of him. "Ion know, got too used to the feeling to remember,"

He gave you a guilty sidelong glance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that."

A warmth blooms in your chest and before you can have second thoughts, you lean in. Your lips make impact on the side of his mouth.

Miles jumps, head snapping towards you when you quickly pull away.

"Don't be sorry."

The boy bit his bottom lip to hold back a wide smile before it settles into a smirk. He cocked his head to the side.

"I thought you were still hung up on Jayden."

You cringe at the reminder and playfully smack Miles on the arm. "Shut up, I just kissed you."

Miles leaned in again, facing you this time. "Make me."

-

A/N: Okay that was longer than I anticipated 😭 as usual leave any thoughts or reactions in the comments/tags! Mwah 🫶🏾

[howlingday]

turns out every member of team rwby had a massive crush on the rusted knight and wanted to date/ be railed by him and even had self insert fanfics about it. now that they know it's jaune how do they try to make their fanfics real?

"What are you drawing, Ruby?"

"A picture of me an the Rusty Knight!" Showing off her crayon portrait of the Rusted Knight, his mount, and herself standing together in a flower field, Ruby's mother cooed at the drawing.

"My, my, what a wonderful drawing!" Summer smiled. "And what are you three doing together?"

"We're on an adventure!"

"Hmhmhm!" Summer chuckled. "You must have really loved that story last night, didn't you?"

"I'mma marry him, and then we'll adventure forever!"

Summer chuckled at her daughter's daydreaming of the fictional hero. Not even six and already dreaming of marriage. She was still so innocent, and Summer hoped that would never change.

---------------------------------------------------

"Would you like a kiss for your wounds, my lady?"

"No! Because I'm a big girl! Kisses are for babies!"

"Could you kiss me then? After all, only the coolest girls can kiss the coolest dudes."

"Yang, lunch is read-"

Yang slammed her notebook shut, twirling in her seat with a red face and a squeaky voice. "DAAAAAAAAAAD! KNOCK ON MY DOOR!"

"I did knock, sweetie~!"

"NO, YOU DIDN'T!" Yang stamped her feet.

"Sorry, sorry!" Taiyang stepped away. "Lunch is downstairs when you're done doing, er, whatever."

Yang huffed as she jumped off her seat, carefully hiding her notebook under a bunch of arts and crafts material in a drawer. She stamped to the door, looking back at the drawer to make sure it was safe. Nobody could ever know her dark secret.

---------------------------------------------------

"The Rusted Knight?" Nicholas looked down at his granddaughter. "Of course I've heard of him! In fact, it was his armor that inspired my set!"

Weiss rubbed a tiny hand against the white shirt her grandfather was wearing. It was soft, and underneath was soft, too. He wasn't wearing his armor. He hardly did in his own house.

"Lügner." Weiss softly said, pressing further into his belly.

"Ach!" Nicholas shouted, placing a free hand to his abdomen. " Mein bauch!"

Nicholas fell over to the floor, holding Weiss in the air. She giggled as she stared at his bearded face. Looking at him, he reminded her of the Rusted Knight, and his statements on his modeling after the fairy tale hero would only become more and more true.

"Say, would you like me to read you that story for you?"

Weiss' eyes lit up and she nodded fervously. He chuckled as he swung himself to his feet. Walking to the library, he pulled out the book and was about to read it when a pair of eyes stared at him.

"Come on, Winter. There's enough room for all of us." The older girl hurried over, taking her seat on the other side of their opa. To this day, it remains Weiss and Winter's most cherished of their shared memories.

---------------------------------------------------

"Thank you for meeting with me, Mister and Misses Belladonna."

Blake sat between her parents, red in the face. To think it would actually come to this. Her parents were going to kill her. Or worse, take away her books.

"Is everything alright?" Mom asked with worry in her voice.

"It is, but... In a recent assignment, Blake was tasked with writing a short story about herself and a fictional character in an interview." The teacher slid the assignment forward. "If you'd like, I can tell you without your reading."

Dad took the paper and gave it a quick read. And by quick read, he shoved it into Mom's hands after reading half a paragraph. Half of him was red with embarrassment and the other green with disgust.

She took the paper and almost immediately responded with, "Oh my!"

"As I'm sure you are both aware, we always encourage creativity in our students, but this..."

"No, no, we understand." Dad said with a burp. "We'll be sure this won't happen again."

The teacher and Dad spoke furthervon the subject, moreso than Blake EVER cared for. There was a hiss at her side, and she looked to Mom. She was pointing at a word. A very bad, bad, naughty word.

"This is spelled with an i, not an e."

[smutsterprocrastiwriter]

nutember pieces

day 3. choking.

karl jacobs and sapnap.

Sapnap's fingers were heavy on the mouse and the keyboard for minutes throughout his fixation in Valorant. Karl just entered his room to check himself on the mirror, wearing a blue sweater and black pants and the usual golden chain on his neck.

He said earlier that he's hanging out with Foolish for a cat cafe date, and it only fuels the jealousy steam Sapnap has been blowing off to the game for a while now. He's been envying all the boys Karl kissed ever since he accidentally saw him recently making out with Hasan in a restroom stall. Maybe Karl hasn't kissed him yet because he instead expects for Sapnap to make a move. Assumptions aside, he won't wait for an answer to that—especially not today.

"Alright, I'mma head out now," Karl says before walking towards the doorway. In a matter of seconds, Sapnap pauses the game and appears standing on the doorway front of Karl, grabbing the knob behind to shut the door before hooking its lock, all in a dead serious expression looking at Karl's look of light surprise.

"You're not going anywhere." Sapnap says, voice low and firm.

"H-Huh? Why not?"

Sapnap takes a step closer.

"If you wanna get to Foolish, you have to kiss me first."

Karl huffs, stifling a laugh. "You just couldn't wait for your turn, can you?"

"Excuse me?" Sapnap then grabs his neck, making him gasp as his body immediately heat up. "You can kiss any man you want, but why won't you kiss me? I've been waiting enough that this is my last straw, so why won't you?"

Karl's breathing weighs from the casual grip, and the darkening gaze over Sapnap's eyes. "Why wouldn't I? Well..."

Karl is afraid to actually kiss him. Not because he assumes that Sapnap is a bad kisser, but he couldn't really speak out the reason—it's embarrassing him, but he won't tell it to him any time sooner.

Unless...

He deeply sighs. "I honestly can't tell you."

"What can't you tell me then?" Sapnap goes closer—lips dangerously close to each other, fingers digging deeper onto Karl's neck. "Are you afraid to know you can't get enough of me once I get to kiss those pretty little lips of yours?"

Karl opens his mouth but the words are fogged by the tightness of his grip that awakens the throbbing heat inside his pants. He wouldn't mind this man kiss him right now, let alone pound him against the door.

"You're just not my boyfriend." He blurts out. Upon realization, he cusses at himself for the wrong response, hoping the dimness of the corner they're in is enough to cover the pinkness of his cheeks.

Silence fills the room until Sapnap chuckles, shaking his head and smiling at him. Then he moves to the side, to the boy's ear.

"Then I'll be your boyfriend right fucking now." Sapnap whispers before moving Karl out and pull him back for a hard kiss.

For the first time, Karl has felt an ironically drug-like high at every clash of his lips against the other. They brush each other's lips in soft paces yet it feels so alive and electrifying. It's just as fucking addicting.

This is what Karl fears. This is why he never kissed him.

Because once he tastes those lips, he knows he won't be coming back for any other. Because for so long, he craved for nothing other than Sapnap's beautiful, plump lips.

And now, he finally tasted them.

Karl moans between the kisses.

"What about Foolish?" he mumbles.

"He can go date himself," Sapnap responds before engulfing his lips again. "I'm gonna have you just for me tonight."

[imaginespazzi]

Alright bestie, second chance bracket now that we’re down to the sweet 16, who you got?

Cos rn i got (and i’m actually mostly using my singular brain cell this time):

Elite 8

SC vs ND (i think Oregon St could upset ND but i hope not)

Texas v Stanford (i could see nc state potentially upsetting stanford but i think stanford holds on)

Colorado vs UCLA (wvu came sooo close to that golden upset, and so in jaylyn i trust to actually get the job done. UCLA and LSU have both seemed a bit shaky to me so this is a toss-up but no way in hell am i gonna choose milky)

USC vs UConn (of course)

Final Four

SC vs Texas (idk, stanford hasn’t given me a lot of confidence lately but i could be wrong!)

UCLA vs UConn (going with ucla marginally since they swept colorado during the regular szn, and huskies restarting that final four streak plus paige reminding everyone that’s still doubting, why she’s the best. Like i love juju but it’s still paige>>>)

National Championship

SC vs UConn

Champion

I want to say UConn, babes, I do but i just cannot see anyone beating SC rn and us even getting to this point with our (lack of) depth would be a heck of an achievement but beating SC is one too many hail marys i think 😭

Ngl though, i kinda don’t wanna see us lose to SC again in the championship game and so a part of me would actually rather us lose in the final 4 if that was the case 😬 (unless we play iowa or lsu then fuck that i’ll take the loss to sc)

I'm scared to predict at this point cause my brackets was in shambles and lowkey you and I are on the same wavelength with most of these but here we go:

Elite 8:

SC vs ND: SC obviously (and I need them to destroy those zionists) and I think Oregon St. could make something happen but I think after the Naismith "snub" (quotes cause I'm 50-50 on this) Hannah is gonna be on one and Oregon St. doesn't have anyone who can stop her.

Texas vs Stanford: Texas because Gonzaga does nothing for me and Stanford v NC-State is gonna be really interesting, but ultimately I don't see how NC-State stops Cam and Kiki.

Iowa vs UCLA: Listen I think Colorado can beat Iowa. I just don't think they can beat the refs+Iowa+the narrative the networks want. The same honestly could be said for LSU-UCLA because the LSU-Iowa rematch is what the NCAA wanted but I think UCLA can overcome that (as opposed to Colorado) because they're a better team and because LSU has been unimpressive to me

UConn vs USC: Baylor does not impress me at all and well the UConn-Duke matchup *pray pray pray* I'mma shut up about it because I'm not in the mood to jinx things

Final 4:

SC vs Stanford: I think the ND vs SC game will be a lot better than the one in Paris but SC is just too much at the end of the day. And again with Stanford-Texas, I could see it go either way but I just don't see Texas stopping Cam-Kiki both

UCLA vs UConn: UCLA is a better team but again there's a narrative and refs and even despite that as we saw last year, it could still be Iowa, but I still think it's gonna be UCLA. USC vs UConn, Juju vs Paige might cancel out but I'd like to think the rest of the UConn team (if they show up) is better than the USC also just who's gonna guard Aaliyah?

National Championship

SC vs UConn: I do actually have Stanford in my bracket but as you said they're kinda not giving me the greatest vibes and well SC is SC. On the other side though, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe. But also, I think this is a much better team than the one that faced UCLA in November. We were figuring things out and the team's morale was really low, I think we'll be much better. Also never underestimate Cori Close's ability to be outcoached especially if it's Geno of all people. A

Champion: I'm not gonna say it but y'all know what I'm thinking. Does it make sense to pick SC? Yes. If you're a betting person, do that. But me I'm here for vibe so once again, fuck it, in Paige Bueckers we believe!

[spikedsoul]

maid's worst nightmare - ch 37

Hello friends, finally back with another chapter. Things will be a little slow because I'm writing another fic for fnaf:sb so please be patient!

Previous chapters

@sovereign-of-succ

"Hold on, darling," Bowser rumbled, slipping his hands underneath your arms. You felt weightless as he lifted you up like you were a feather and gingerly placed you into the warm water of the tub; you sighed heavily as the water enveloped your sore, aching body.

"You really didn't have to do all this…" But you weren't complaining! The massage had felt wonderful and was just what you needed, although you were already beginning to feel sore from it.

Bowser snorted as he leaned against the side of the tub. "After all that? I sure as hell do, and I'm happy to, too. Besides, if ya don't soak in the water now, you just gonna be crazy sore later… I mean, shit. I reckon I'mma hafta carry you to the track anyway."

You settled against the side he was leaning on, gently pulling one of his hands to your chest. You knew that ordinarily you would've been embarrassed, shy, and unwilling to let him keep seeing you naked… so this was truly a testament to how much you trusted him already. Also maybe it was the result of getting a little relief after such a long time of fear.

"I mean, I won't complain if you wanna carry me," you said nonchalantly. He hummed curiously; you didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking a little. "Admittedly my legs still feel like jelly."

"There it is," he snickered softly.

"Oh, shut up."

He shifted and kissed your temple, his hand sliding down to your left tight and giving a gentle squeeze. "You gonna be fine, baby. Luckily we don't gotta do much for the race but sit; we got screens to see what's happening at the far ends of the tracks."

"What about lunch? Surely we've missed it," you hummed. "And after that little bit of exercise, I'm starving."

"Hmm, I like a woman with an appetite," he growled softly in your ear.

You couldn't resist rolling your eyes. "What's next? You like a woman with a face, too? Maybe a body?"

His hand shifted to your other thigh, also giving it a light squeeze. "Mostly I like a woman who likes me back. Can't be too picky these days, but physically existin' with lips I can kiss sure is a plus." He nuzzled you gently.

"You big softy," you murmured, turning your head and kissing his nose lightly. "...About lunch, though…"

He laughed softly as he pulled his hand back to your chest. You couldn't help a smile, although honestly you were already feeling your stomach growl - it wouldn't be too long before you'd start to get hangry, you could feel it.

"I'll go tell 'em to bring it if they ain't done so already." He pulled his hand back so he could get to his feet, and after one more kiss to your head he turned and ambled out of the bathroom to go inquire about your lunch.

You took the chance to wash thoroughly, your hair included, and although you tried to get yourself to analyze why you weren't freaking out or reacting with embarrassment, your brain refused to engage.

The long and short of it was that you were safe and loved. No other analysis was required.

When Bowser returned, he had some clothes grasped in one of his big hands. "Lunch is on the table," he announced as he set your clothes on the counter. "I wanted ya to soak longer, but we shouldn't let it get cold."

Thank diety! Lunch!

"Alright. Help me out, please," you smiled gratefully at him.

He draped a towel over one of his forearms before stooping near you to offer his other one across your chest. You put both arms over it, and as easily as he'd set you into the tub, he lifted you out of it and onto your feet. He didn't pull his arm away until he was sure you could at least stand on your own. 

"Legs a little better, then?" he asked, handing you the towel.

"I can at least stand, yes," you nodded as you dried off - carefully, of course. He stood back a little to give you some space. "Thanks, big man."

"Anythin' for my queen," he purred.

Ah, there it was, the feeling of flustered embarrassment. Your cheeks flushed red, but you tried to keep a little composure.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here," you tried to say pleasantly, but it definitely came out in a mumble.

Bowser snickered softly. "No? Seems like ya might like that one, you sure?"

You eyed him; two could potentially play this game. Although for your part, getting called 'queen' might not have been so flustering if he wasn't an actual king. It had a few deeper implications that still made you a little nervous. Maybe you could get used to it, though…

But you'd have to think about that later. Right now you needed to get back at him with something that would make him blush just as hard.

"You gotta let a lady have a breather, you know," you murmured, letting him gather you into his arms so he could carry you to the table. Today, you'd definitely let him carry you wherever.

"But you so cute when you blushin'," he complained as he sat you in a chair. "I can't help it, 'specially since ya still won't tell me yer real name…"

"That's a discussion for later."

Even though you didn't say it too firmly, Bowser sighed and nodded. "We gonna talk about it, though…?"

You smiled warmly at him, lifting the silver dome off of your burger and fries. "Promise," you murmured. He deserved to know the truth, but lunch time as your hanger was creeping in was definitely not the time. Honestly, Bowser was lucky you knew how to control it!

…Who were you kidding? He'd probably think it was adorable despite your very real irritation.

Either way, you picked the burger and bit into it just as your stomach growled loudly enough for him to hear. He laughed, but just shook his head and followed suit with his own burger.

Honestly, after getting fucked so thoroughly and taken care of so tenderly, this was the best burger you'd ever had in your life. Shit, maybe that was the case anyway, but there was definitely something to be said about eating some delicious comfort food after some actual, genuine love and comfort.

Between bites, once you'd had a little water to wash everything down, you smiled warmly over at the man sitting across from you. He blinked, but smiled back as he reached for his own drink.

You waited for him to start drinking before you said, "Just wanted to thank you for today… daddy."

Predictably, he choked on his drink, a dark blush immediately settling in his cheeks as he coughed hard, struggling to process what you just said to him.

You just smiled sweetly and kept eating like nothing had happened.

That's what he got for flustering you.

[lionmythflower]

lmao not me rewatching the nutcracker and the four realms.

But I actually can't stop laughing.

"That diabolical little mouse!"

"We just have to ask you some questions princess" "this is ridiculous"

"How do u describe ur sympathies towards rodents in general?" "........ Well-" "thank you, good, alright"

"My mother, she.... She died." *dramatic gasps*

Miss sugar plum Fairy stop lying ma'am

I'm gonna slap her

*weird giggling* ".... She doesn't know" HELP

"She tried to take control of the other realms" what bullshit. I can't remember shit of what happens I know damn well that miss sugar plum aint the good one here

HOW DID THEY MAKE MAKE THOSE DRESSES SO FAST I MEAN I KNOW THEIR MAGIC WHAT WHAT THE FUCK

"Do u like it?" "I love it" who are u lying to that hair looks so bad

Miss sugar plum needs to stfu her voice is giving me a headache

Ooooh ballet

Oh it's abt the story of the four realms ok...

I actually can't remember anything from this movie

was the hot air balloon from that one version of wizard of oz rlly necessary

I promise I actually do like this movie I js love hating on movies no matter how much I love them (another example is

"Beastly women. There's nothing motherly abt her" OKAY U KNOW WHAT U CAN SHUT UP THANKS

OH I REMEMBER SOME OF IT NOW. THERE'S SMTH TO DO W THE ENGINES

AND WHAT'S HER NAME THE MAIN CHARACTER GIRL FIXES THE MACHINE OR AT LEAST FINDS THE KEY AND THEN SHE REALISES THAT SUGAR PLUM IS EVIL AND THEN SMTH HAPPENS I THINK SHE JOINS MOTHER GINGERS SIDE OR SMTH IDK

Sugar plum speaking French is annoying me sm. Like ok I get ur the pretty fairy women but fuck off please-

Oh the girl is named Clara

Bro crows are scary as fuck

Someone get this girl a pantsuit why is she always running around in dresses

Clara: gets pulled into a dark hole.

Captain: GOES IN AFTER HER

what the fuck

What in the name of Russian dolls-

OMG MOTHER GINGER

we love her

She looks so badass

Help not captain js struggling w the puppet things

Mother Ginger is the only sensible one here

I actually can't remember what the egg thing does

That owl is fucking everywhere

Also we love captain

And hate sugar plum

CLARA DON'T BE AN IDIOTS PLS

CAPTAIN

CAPTAIN PLS U KNOW THIS IS A BAD IDEA

HELPPPP

CLARA PLS

CLARA

CLARA ITS A TRAP YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN

alr miss sugar plum u can go die actually

Omg the mouse

Oh look they're in the dungeon

Help not her yelling at captain like he didn't nothing to you 😭😭

HELP WAIT HE ACTUALLY HAS A NAME????

Phillip omg

Guys no I need another snack to deal with this women absolutely not

Okie I got some chocolates we're good now

Bro I still have like 33 minutes left in this movie

Thank god she's actually calling him by his name now

HELP PHILLIP AND THE MOUSE ARE SO FUNNY

Oh damn careful there CLARA

Hun ur dress is ummm a bit dirty...

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE ADS.

guys we pay for Disney + and we still have ads what the fuck. This is bigotry at it's worst

Poor mother ginger her face is fucking cracked bro

YES KNOCK OVER THOSE SOLDIERS

SHOOT.

CLARA RUN

oh boy

YES CLARA FIGHT THOSE TOY SOLDIERS

if any of y'all hurt phillip I will be coming after u

Omg mouse tower yes we love them

I HATE SUGAR PLUM SO MUCH

CLARA PLS

CLARA FIGURE SMTH OUT

PHILLIP IF U DIE ISTG

SUGAR PLUM BRO LITERALLY JUST UGHHHH

die.

NO NO NO NO

OMG NO

HAHAHA

OMG YES

damn she's a doll now

I don't feel bad

If phillip and clara kiss I'mma cry

Omg we love the mouse and phillip

Oh dear

No. No no no

DON'T YOU DARE

Oh damn actually that's crazy

Omg the one movie where the girl and the guy who are friends don't actually have to kiss at the end thank god

Bro did a double take when her dad said I'm sorry

The father daughter relationship between them is crazy 😐 (im envious. I don't have a good relationship like that w either of my parents)

Damn the movie's over

[tmnt-fun]

Ha! Get adopted Suckers(Part 2)

Here is the second part! :D

Finally, after a bit of walking, they got to where the Mud Dogs were going to be staying for a while. Raph slowly sets the, almost asleep, Malicious Mickey down on the couch and tugs a blanket over him then looks at the other two, “Alright you two, you'll be staying here until I'm sure that you guys won't do anything to my brothers. I wouldn't suggest trying to leave, Donnie set up a few cameras and I will find out if you try to go” he said, while he was taking off their cuffs.

Loathsome Leonard makes a tsh sound and walks over falling back into the other chair putting his arms behind his head and shutting his eyes. “So one prison cell to another, peachy.” Dastardly Danny looks at Raph, then turns his head away huffing softly, and goes to sit down too.

Even if he respected that he was trying to help them, Dastardly Danny did not like the red turtle. Backstabber.

A damn liar.

“So how old are you even?” Loathsome Leonard asks, looking over at the turtle, squinting a little at him. He figured maybe around the same age as them. They're all 24ish.

Raph makes a small oh sound then rubs at his neck, with that dumb little nervous grin he gets when he was, of course, nervous, “I'm 18.”

Dastardly Danny blinks at that and turns his head to look at him, Loathsome Leonard doing the same, “Wait you're only 18?” he looks down, doing the math on his fingers then puts his hands down onto the table he was sitting in front of, “That means you were only 15?!”

Malicious Mickey got startled awake, sitting up which causes him to shock the couch and he looks around, then rubs at his eyes with his flippers, “Why are we shouting?” He wanted to be part of it!

“This boy was only 15 when we first met em!” Dastardly Danny points at Raph who was now... feeling a little uncomfortable? Why did that matter? He looks around, poking his fingers together.

Malicious Mickey blinks at that and sits up, looking at Raph, “You were only 15? Dude! That's crazy. We almost killed you” Loathsome Leonard puts his hand on the side of his head. Damn man...

Raph laughs at that and scratches at his cheek, “Yeah, don't worry, you guys aren't the first ones to try to do that. Me and my brothers have almost been killed like... a lot” He waves his hand. “Course I'll always protect them, I'm the oldest out of us.”

That didn't make any of them feel any better...

Loathsome Leonard looks over, squinting, and asks, “When was the last time?”

Raph's eyes widen a little, opens his mouth, then shuts it again and turns his head away. He reaches up to mess with his mask tails a little then turns, and starts to walk, “I'm going to go get ya some food”

The three of them look at each other, all frowning at that. They were criminals and all, but they wouldn't kill a dang kid. “When do you guys think the last time was?” Malicious Mickey asks.

“Well, Malicious Mickey, from the fact that he messed with his mask, I'mma say whatever caused him to have that pink eye of his.” Dastardly Danny says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No way guys, we are not gonna start feeling bad for this little shit. Remember what he did” Loathsome Leonard says, moving his arms to form an X over his chest, shaking his head. “I don't care that he got us outta that place, we would have gotten out ourselves”

The other two shrug at that, and Malicious Mickey says, “But he's helping us now. You guys shoulda felt the way his arms feel holding you” He moves his flippers around himself, like he was hugging himself, smiling, “It felt like a blanket”

“Ah shut up Malicious Mickey” Dastardly Danny huffs softly, turning his head away and sinking down in the chair. He felt... weird. He wanted to be mad at the red turtle, and he was! Just... not as bad as before.

He sorta understood why Raph lied to them, now that he thought about it. He got mistaken as someone that he wasn't, they were criminals; of course anyone would be freaked out and do anything to not get their butts beat.

That didn't make it a better thing to do, but it did allow him to realize WHY he did it.

The Mud Dogs looked up when Raph comes back in, holding a tray smiling. “I got something my brother made, Mikey's the best cook. I think you guys would like it” he sets the tray down onto the table. His tail was swaying which Loathsome Leonard paid attention to.

Ha... weirdo.

“Oh sweet!” Malicious Mickey leans over to look in the tray, sniffing “Guys this smells awesome” Raph cuts some out, and puts it on a plate, then onto Malicious Mickey's lap “Here, help yourself. You guys can have as much as you want and if you want more, just tell me”

Dastardly Danny lets out a hum and reaches over to cut himself some, taking a bite and his own tail did a little bit of shifting. Hey, come on, they've been criminals! They don't exactly eat very well.

And this was REALLY good... cheesy.

Loathsome Leonard looks away, huffing softly, “Ain't hungry” he pulls one of his knees up to his chest. Was he being a bit of a brat? Maybe a little. He was still angry. Yeah, the guy was a teen but still lied.

Malicious Mickey rolls his eyes and shoves the piece into his mouth, his cheeks puffing out making little happy sounds. Should he try to take smaller bites? Maybe, but no. No, he didn't think that he would.

“Not eating isn't going to show anyone that you're 'cooler' or anything Loathsome Leonard, it's just gonna make you grouchy so stop being petty and eat your meal,” Dastardly Danny says with a roll of his eyes. Raph went off to message his brothers, telling them that everything seemed to be going well.

He didn't tell them the... whole story, and they weren't really sure if it would be a good idea, but they couldn't say no to their leader... even more when Raph almost cried.

Weird...

Loathsome Leonard huffs but grumbles under his breath and gets himself a plate, taking a small bite then another bigger one.

Dastardly Danny gave him a knowing smirk which Loathsome Leonard turns away from to try to ignore it. Malicious Mickey giggles a little cause hey, that was silly.

“So... how long are we going to be staying here guys?” Malicious Mickey asks, looking at the other two after he swallowed and started to get another piece.

Loathsome Leonard shrugs his shoulders, “Not forever, but most likely a bit. We got a warm place to stay, an idiot taking care of us, and free food.” He leans back in the chair, putting his feet up onto the table and moving his arm behind his head, “Why wouldn't we stay for at least a little” Malicious Mickey smiles, clapping his flippers together then shoves the piece into his mouth again.

Dastardly Danny gave him a look then shakes his head and leans back to continue eating his.

How could this go wrong?

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1157: Early Surprise Gifts (SSBU X River City Girls X Bayonetta)

7:45 p.m. at the New Donk City's Glorious Hotel Room......

Dark Pit: (Let's Out a Bit of a Heavily Sigh While Laying Down on his Bed)

Yoshi: (Sits Down on the Edge of his Bed) What got you so down today? Did Christmas Fanatic Duo got to you again?

Dark Pit: No, not yet surprisingly. Its Misako and Kyoko....I think I'm starting to miss them already.

Yoshi: That quickly, huh? You could always try and video chat them.

Dark Pit: Yeah, but....it won't feel like the same really. Plus, those chatting apps drains my tablet's battery more quicker than usual nowadays, so I'm not even gonna bother trying at this point.

Yoshi notices Misako and Kyoko sneaking inside their room, the latter happily waving at him and the former silently telling him to keep quiet before hiding both sides of their boyfriend's bed.

Yoshi: (Snickers a Teensy Bit) Yeah, that's a....('Clears Throat') Real travesty alright, I'll tell you what.

Dark Pit: ('Scoffs') Please. It's not that big of a deal. I could always text them on daily, maybe even make two snowmen of them whenever we do get snow around here.

?????: (Climbs Up on One Side of the Bed) Or we could just chill and cuddle for a while~

??????: (Climbs Up on the Other Side of the Bed Holding Up a Mistletoe in the Air) Maybe have a little Mistletoe action in between~

Dark Pit: Yeah, I guess that cou- (Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened) W-W-WAIT A MINUTE! (Turns to One Side) Misako!? (Turns to the Other Side) Kyoko!? You actually here right now!?

Misako: (Forms a Cheeky Grin on her Face) We're laying right next to you, aren't we?~

Kyoko: (Happily Hugs Her Boyfriend) And you're gonna be stuck with us for the rest of the month, so you better get used to it~ (Gives Pitto Five Kisses on the Cheek)

Dark Pit: (Hears Yoshi Chuckling Before Turning Back to Him) You knew they were here this whole time?

Yoshi: (Casually Shrugs) Only when they sneaked their way in here, which kinda makes me wonder how they made in the city in first place honestly.

Dark Pit: (Looks Back and Forth at his Girlfriends) Yeah how DID you two get here exactly?

?????: You can thank me for that.

Pitto and Yoshi turns to see the Fallen Angel, Rodin standing, laying his back on the side of the doorway, taking a smoke on his cigar.

Dark Pit: Uncle Rodin? You're the one who brought them here?

Rodin: Yep. (Designate the Cigar to Ashes into Thin Air Before Walking in the Room) These two ladies 0f yours are accompany me on this family vacation of yours. They happened to bumped into me after I left that long ass line behind.

Kyoko: (Smiles Brightly) He was so kind of us to take us with him through that cool looking portal of his!~

Yoshi: How did you girls managed to convinced him to go with him?

Misako: Oh we has our ways.

Flashback

Misako and Kyoko were already on their knees begging Rodin to take them with him outside of the airport. It wasn't until he uses his dark manipulation powers to make both their mouths disappear, shutting them up completely

Rodin: Now, I'mma bring back both your lips. And when do thar, I want y'all CALMLY give me one good reason why should I take ypu with me. Got it?

Misako amd Kyoko nodded in agreement as both their mouths reappear on their faces. They take their very deep breaths before screaming out......

Misako/Kyoko: WE MISS OUR BOYFRIEND HORRIBLY!!!~

End of Flashback

Dark Pit: (Chuckles Lightly) You guys couldn't even last a day without crying out for me, huh?

Misako: (Glares at her Boyfriend) Hey, at least we weren't sulking enough to think about building snow versions of us!

Dark Pit: Yeah, but I wasn't the one begging on my knees, now was iI?

Misako: BITCH, I-

Both Pitto and Misako's mouths suddenly disappears off of both of their faces as they turn to their culprit in front of them.

Rodin: 'Ey, I didn't come all the way here just to hear you two bitching at one another all dauly, so chill out with that for a second, alright?

The two thirds of the trio couple nodded in agreement as their mouths reappear in their faces.

Dark Pit: (Sighs Before Turning to Misako) Sorry for laughing, Misako.

Misako: ('Sigh') It's fine. Sorry too. (Smiles a Bit) It's sweet that you're thinking about us.

Dark Pit: (Smiles Back) Ditto. I missed you guys.

Misako: We missed you too, dummy~ (Gives Pitto a Peck on the Lips)

Kyoko: (Pouts at Two of her Romantic Partners) Heyyy!~ I want some of your kisses too!~

Misako: (Sighs Before Getting Herself Up From the Bed) Alright. Scooch over, both of you. We're making ourselves a Kyoko sandwich tonight.

Dark Pit: (Shrugs) Fine by me. (Scooches himself Over to Side of the Bed)

Kyoko: (Happily Squeals as She Scooches Over to the Middle)

Misako: (Lays Down on the Other Side of the Bed Before Her and Pitto Gives Their Girlfriend The Kisses She Deserves) There.

Dark Pit: Happy, 'hon?

Kyoko: (Giggles Softly While Hugging Both her Partners) Absolutely!~

Yoshi: With that overly cuteness aside....(Turns to Rodin) Who's gonna watch your bar now that your here? Uncle Enzo?

Rodin: ('Tch') Please. I don't trust that fool to handle his own liquor let alone look over the entirety of my hard working establishment. No, I let one of my demon summons, Astral, take over from there. (Shows the Kids Pictures of the Big Demon in Question, Showing Off It's Vicious Manner) 'Been a powerhouse of a player for as long as I can remember creating him.

Yoshi: (Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widened at What Catches his Attention) Woahwoahwoahwoah, stop at that picture right there!

Rodin: (Stops Swiping Before Showing the Picture to Yoshi) Here?

Yoshi: Yeah, yeah. (Points at a Picture of a Rodin Hoding a Fiery Looking Nunchucks on the Phone Screen) What....are those!?

Rodin: One of my newest creations thus far: The Flambegé Nunchucku. An inferno dual wielding chuka sticks destructive enough to blitz through any gut wrenching demons that dares to stand in the way of the wielder. An expert of martial arts if you will.

Yoshi: How much it cost? I'll pay you anything!

Dark Pit: (Turns to Yoshi) Dude, you already have nunchucks at home.

Yoshi: (Turns to Dark Pit) Yeah, but this looks rad as all hell!

Rodin: And it's expensive as all hell. (Put his Phone Back Inside his Coat Pocket) I don't think any amount of allowance will be enough for you to pay off.

Yoshi: (Snaps his Fingers in Disappointment) ('Snap') Dangit!

Rodin: But i have yet to see any potential consumers on the other side interested in the product just yet, so I'll you have a test run or two in the near future, after you ask your parents first.

Yoshi: (Pumps His Fists Down in Excitement) Yes! (Smiles Brightly at the Fallen Angel) Thank you, Uncle Rodin.

Dark Pit: (Turns Back to Rodin) Yeah, thanks reuniting with my girlfriends, Uncle. I really appericate it.

Kyoko: You're the best!~

Misako: (Happily Nodded in Agreement)

Rodin: Yeah, yeah, it ain't nothin'. Just don't get in too much trouble, ya hear? Your mother will try and go for my neck if anything happens to any of y'all.

Dark Pit: Goddess or Witch

Rodin: Goddess. Although your witch momma ain't someone to tussle with either. But if y'all need me, I'll be out in the night, see what this New Donk City has to offer. Adios for now. (Teleports Himself Out the Room)

Dark Pit: Later, Uncle Rodin.

Kyoko: Byeeee!~

Misako: (Turns to Pitto Before Letting Out a Relax Yawn) Alright, loser!~ We probably have the whole evening to ourselves, so what we're gonna do first?

Dark Pit: Rudolph's suppose to be one in a few minutes, so....

Misako: (Turns to Pitto with Widened Eyes Along with the Others) Wait. YOU?

Kyoko: Wanted to watch a Christmas Special?

Yoshi: (Raises an Eyebrow) You SURE Pit and Sora hasn't gotten you into Christmas spirit yet?

Dark Pit: Yes, I'm sure! Those idiots have nothing on me. (Turns Away While Rubbing the Back of his Head) I just thought a story about some dumb reindeer is worth watching for a half an hour or two is all.....

Yoshi/Misako/Kyoko: (Stares at Pitto Unconvinced) Uh-huh. Sure.

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

@ink-correctsmashbrosbloo

[blossomxlush]

hehehe back at it again

Alright so the origin for this story (I have no idea why I said origin) was that I really wanted to see someone write an izuru Kamakura x reader story where reader was like yumemi yumemite (best girl) from kakeguri only to come to the sad realization.. nobody wrote a story like that So im becoming my dream and writing it for myself (and all my other lovely izuru simps) (tell me why I wrote Simps and it auto corrected to Simpsonville..) Anyways I'mma shut up now with the boring origin and get on with the story 😚 (damnit I said origin again - modhiyoko after finishing the story)

Izuru Kamakura with a S/O that's like yumemi yumemite

p. s this is so long I almost fell asleep before finishing it

another p. s I'm so sorry for my masculine readers but the reader for today's story is female Sorry!

okay so for this we know that you are the shsl popstar (aka super high school level popstar)

(I added that because my idiotic self didn't know what shsl meant until a few months ago)

also rl quick I'mma define who yumemi yumemite is rl quick

(IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED KAKEGURI YET THERE ARE SPOILERS)

Yumemi yumemite is a popstar who only became a popstar because it was supposed to be a temporary hold until she became an actress but she realized that she went places she never thought she would have gone before by being a popstar (she actually said that in one episode) She realized that playing this character was really fun and worth much more then she thought she did hate her fans but even after getting exposed her fans still loved her but she has anger issues either way (like me 😘) so basically she's a batshit crazy popstar and you either love her or hate her because she's a Psycho but adorable (hope that explains it)

okay now I'm actually gonna start with the head cannons

(BTW this is all from my perspective and what I think would happen it's probably a little fannon instead of cannon

Starting off I'll say this everytime you were very interesting to him

on how you could hold up the sweet act for so long in front of a person who disgusts you

how you could fool everyone into thinking that you loved them when you absolutely loathed them

that caught his attention

what also caught his attention was your adorableness

but he could also perfectly see through all of that adorableness was anger and something not so sweet

(a lot of this next part is based off of the episode where yumemi goes up against her icon yukizome in a gamble)

he was for once surprised on how you would have the courage to break your own finger for an act

just to win a gamble

he was truly mesmerized by you

now this is relationship hcs

your anger issues where not a problem for him

he is very patient and is amazing at calming you down

(when she gets mad she litterly flips over tables in her dressing room)

so if you made a mess like this after helping you calm down like he would cuddle you and play with your hair of gently kiss you and bring you somewhere more quiet and alone (probably his dorm or something)

he would help you calm down more there

but he would refuse to leave you alone

he won't leave until your calm because he doesn't want you to go through something like that alone

and after your calmed down he would go back and help put every thing back in its place

if you tried to apologize for acting up

he would immediately shut it down and reassure you it's alright and not your fault for getting angered easily

also if your having trouble with stalker or creepy fans you got a bodyguard by your side

all in all this man loves you very much whether or not your a pretty little Psycho

I got one last little thingy for y'all hehe

am I going to tell you what it is NOPE it's a surprise one shot

(here's a hint if your a girl who loves flowers you'll love this oneshot)

One of yours shows was about to start and you where a nervous wreck why? because this is the first show your boyfriend izuru Kamakura was going to be at but even through all that nervousness you stepped on that stage ready to perform this wasn't a gamble show just one of your usual concerts but you were even more nervous about this rather then your gambles

but your going to give it your all

after the show

Hearing all of the people in the audience giving their applause you gave a bow and said your usual thanks for everyone coming walking into your dressing room you got a text from your boyfriend izuru Kamakura

izuru: I have something for you

you: oh?.. what is it?

just then you heard a knock on your dressing room door your assistant offered to get it but you did instead you open it to find izuru Kamakura standing outside your door holding something

you were very nervous on his thoughts on the show but you were still curious about what he had for you

hello ízuru you smiled at him walking out the dressing room closing the door behind you

he didn't reply but he did hand you something

a bouquet of [insert favorite flowers]

you blushed at it then looked up him

he then spoke softly "I got these because there not only as beautiful as you but now I realized their also beautiful like your singing"

you were about to say something before he continued

"don't doubt if when I say you truly are beautiful and might I say adorable when you smile after your performance how you are so full of energy on stage how you don't fail to thank everyone for being there... it's seems I have found myself falling more and more Inlove with you each time you show me a new side of you" he said then smiled a bit before placing a kiss on your lips

i-izuru you said tumbling your words not being able to even tell if you were still awake

you felt like you were going to collapse or melt from all the sweetness

he pulled you into a hug once he noticed your blushing form leaning forward

"don't faint dear" he chuckled

I can't it's to sweet you replied

"you think this is sweet I'm just merely showing the surface of sweetness because -" he cut off before leaning down to whisper in your ear before continuing

"I have a lot more sweetness saved for you later tonight"

EEEEEEEK I hope this was a good enough make up for the last story I half assed.

who wants a NSFW part two? just me? alright 🥲

stay spooky-modhiyoko

[bradenthompson]

Shut Up, Spit Boy

"Apologies for making y'all do this again, but--and I'm sure Collie told you the same thing I'mma tell you now--remember: talking about it makes the pain go away. Right? Can we do another quick Pain Check on all y'all? Starting at the front, going back? You. Lewis? Lewis. One to ten, where you ranking your pain this week?"

"Six."

"Six, okay, so... clipboard's saying we improved, from last week. When Collie asked you the same question, you said eight. We're feeling better? Cool! Alright, and... Marianne?"

"Uh... maybe a seven?"

"Alright, maybe--"

"No! Six and a half."

"Algorithm doesn't take kindly to decimals, so let's just round down to six. Six sound good? Cool. Tony?"

"Four."

"Christopher?"

"It's Topher, actually. Five. Let's go five."

"We're going five. Emily?"

"Nine."

"Steady with the nine, I see, alright. And remember, you can define pain however you want. Whatever definition feels right. Emotional pain, mental pain--your pills from last week should've dealt with the physical pain but if not go talk to Dr. Paq outside. Please.

"Di... Diego, here you are. Pain?"

"Ten."

Diego picked ten because he was curious. Maximum pain, two weeks in a row. Maybe they'd move him to a different class. A morning class, ideally. It's week two of HRP reorientation, week three of being here, and he's still nursing some titanic jet lag. Coffee hasn't helped and that's really saying something, because it's about twenty times stronger than it used to be. Even the Not-Fee kiosk in the shopping block, a walk-up café proudly selling coffee-flavored milk, is tough enough to give a Cuban pause. And Diego can say that.

Before getting here, he had dunked his fourth Not-Fee of the day in the trash burner outside. Sign says not to dispose plastics but nobody saw. And sure, the fan outside is an intake and the classroom is starting to smell awful chemical-like, but they can't trace that to him. Surely. Those Not-Fees aren't cheap but Diego hasn't the experience to know how far he should be stretching these monthly stimuli. Sure feels like a decent chunk of change. Fourteen hundred dollars? Whew. Righteous bucks. He wasn't making that kind of money--

"Earth to Diego," the substitute instructor snaps. "Still feeling dilated?"

"I don't know what that means."

"How about jet lag?"

"Ohh, yeah, yeah."

"It passes," the sub assures him, "and I'm sure your friends here are just as turned around. Would it make you feel better if you knew why?"

Diego burps. Tastes like milk. "Shoot."

"Prevailing theory is air tolerance. Y'all were living in a rice cooker. Even you, Marianne. Now, our air is of an exponentially higher purity. Higher than oxygen can balance naturally. Y'all's brains have never drank something this clear. It's good for you! But the lack of those comfortable pollutants will take some getting used to; raise your hand if you've been getting headaches."

Every hand goes up.

"Ah. Thought to. Dr. Paq will have another pill for you. I'll have him slip it in y'all's takeaway bags. Okay... who did we leave off on? Diego? No, you're the ten. So then it's Thomas..."

Diego stops listening to the answers. He doesn't think anyone else said ten, though. So either they're liars or aren't trying to stress test the system. One guy rated his pain at a zero. If the goal is getting out of these classes, maybe Diego should've tried that.

"... Other things the body experiences, following the big wakey-wakey," the sub transitions. "Headaches. Diego's jet lag. What else, what else? How's everyone been feeling?"

There's a hesitation, but Thomas, sitting to Diego's right, raises a hand. "My leg's been falling asleep like four times a day."

"Vascular hiccups, yeah, that happens. Your bodies have just gone through a factory reset of sorts. Or maybe something closer to the 'system updates' y'all's smartphones would sometimes do. If I have the terminology right. Your brain is trying out all your motor functions. Making sure everything still works. Now this is one of the more embarrassing ones, I know... involuntary erections, anyone?"

That had, in fact, happened to Diego a few times. Not that he'd say so here.

"Some multilinguists find themselves locked to one language. Real pain if it's not their first. Anyone here got a second language kicking around in their head? Y'know, most people these days don't bother. Schools stopped offering language programs around the time translation buds climbed to version 2.0, 3.0--"

"I speak French!" Emily says, raising her hand and not waiting to be called on.

"Emily speaks French!" The sub repeats, delighted. "That's a skill, now, y'know. Back in... oops!" He braces his desk and waggles a finger. "Almost slipped up, there. We gotta be super careful what y'all learn and what order y'all learn it in. Buddy of mine? Couple of months ago? Told a orientee from Vietnam what had been going on in his country during his Interim. Full-blown panic attack, right in his seat. Nasty stuff, huh?"

Beat.

"Like a coma patient," Thomas suggests, slouched in his seat.

"... Like a coma patient! Y'know, the backbone of HRP rehabilitation is based on coma studies. Talk about an eradicated... anyone here been in a coma? For real?"

No hands. Nobody's been in a coma.

"Well! What we do nowadays is more or less what we did with y'all. If odds are slim the patient won't wake up in forty-eight, seventy-two hours, the doctors will just end the life and reset the ticker. Good as new!"

"...Moving along," the sub moves along. "Y'all are here to talk about your feelings. Ultimately. A little twee, I know, but we have the psych results. Doctors need to know how y'all are taking this in, so they know how to most comfortably transition you back into society. Make sense? We're really just here to talk. You'll notice the only homework is making note of these things--"

Surprising himself, Diego raises a hand.

"Diego! Yes. What's up, man?" The sub folds his legs and rests his clipboard on his awkwardly sticking knee. He licks his lips? Okay.

Diego says, "doctors told me not to tell people where my sample came from."

The sub chews on this for just a second. "Your doctor may have been giving that as social advice, not... sociologically--look, Diego, I think he was just looking out for you."

"Looking out for me how?"

"DNA constructs are sourced from a lot of places. They have to. Any sample is ample. That's the phrase, internally. That said, I know there's some... trace bullying, over where some people come from."

"Where you from?" Thomas says so faintly Diego thinks he's trying to whisper.

"Hm?"

"How bad is it?"

"I didn't think it was bad; doctor just told--"

Thomas make himself laugh before it's said: "Are you a semen sample?"

Diego hesitates. "... Everybody's a semen sample, dipshit."

"Okay, okay, let's take it down," the sub insists, wafting his clipboard at the negative energy. "Everyone like you comes from something. It really just depends on what's available. The majority are blood; really I think it's quite special to come from anything else."

"What's the second one?" Thomas asks. Trying to gauge whether he's one to talk, Diego thinks.

"Second is bone marrow, followed closely by teeth. Fourth and fifth are hair and skin cells respectively. I forget what's after that but blood is numero uno. Do we wanna talk about our DNA source? I say we--I have none but my parents. Lewis?"

"Doctor says it was blood."

"Common one, blood, like I said, and Maria--"

"Also blood."

"Also blood!" Chris, did your--"

"Topher. Also blood."

"How about raise your hand if you weren't blood."

Just Diego and Thomas, it seems. The LED lights in the ceiling don't have that same maddening buzz as fluorescents, but they may as well. He hates being looked at, Diego. Always did, as it pertains to classrooms--an environment he thought he was good and done with the moment he walked the high school podium. Adult bodies aren't built for these desks with the little tables coming off the side. He tries leaning back further and the weird rubber-plastic seat bends against his weight.

"Are either of you comfortable with saying what it was?" The sub asks.

"Well, my family's got a tomb," Thomas says. "So I guess they got me and--"

A tomb? Diego stops listening immediately so he can laugh in his head. Didn't realize he was sitting next to Khnum Khufu II. Who the fuck's got tombs? Is a family tomb the budget model, or should Diego take this to mean Thomas is even further up his own ass than he thought? Oh, those resurrection scientists had their pick of DNA samples, in his case.

"Interesting story," the sub claps his hands. "I'm sure where they got you wasn't that bad, Diego."

He swallows. "Spit."

"... Saliva!" Unclear if the sub's enthusiasm is that same plastic nicety he's been working all night or genuine interest. "That's a rare one, dude. Saliva's one of the first things a body loses. Buddy of mine says his brother..."

But Diego can't listen to this little apropos with Thomas leaning over and snickering "Bro came from spit."

So it's true. He will get bullied.

The story he told the group last week, when for some reason how did you die was the first order of business, should've made his spit origin logical. Why would anything but spit be left? He was mangled. Any blood they could've taken was running down Interstate 5 long before a paramedic could slide through with a Q-tip. How they saved his spit, well, he has a theory.

"... But enough about me, huh?" The sub is still saying. "I'm gonna ask you an easy question, and maybe after that we'll be ready for one of these harder ones. Everyone ready? Okay. Who was President of the United States when you first entered your Interim?"

Awful cagey about the dying thing, Diego thinks. The moment they died to now is a stretch of time everyone's been calling their "Interim." And while Diego recognizes that word from UFC fights, he doesn't have a definition handy. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn't heard anyone but his classmates even approach saying "death" or "died." A naughty word? Does he dare raise his hand and ask?

Thinking all this, Diego misses the president Lewis names. Hope they aren't quizzed on each other.

Quite proudly, on her turn Marianne answers "John F. Kennedy."

JFK? What, was she in the other seat? Diego certainly thinks this but thinks better of saying it. Out loud, at least. He must have said it under his breath since Thomas breathes out a snicker.

"Obama," he hears Christopher answer, but the sub's comment on this is interrupted by Diego raising his hand.

"Uh, yes? Diego?"

Shit. He forgets what he was about to ask. Something about... dying? He still can't remember what that question was, but his brain substitutes a thought he had yesterday.

"Sorry, just--just had a thought. Maybe you know. So... y'know, when you hear about serial killers and like shooters or whatever, when they go to prison the judge gives them five life sentences, nine life sentences. Now do those guys actually--"

"Actually have to serve five life sentences?" The sub finishes. "Technically true, but it's a little complicated. As I understand it works, a 'life sentence' has been capped at thirty years. In y'all's first time I believe it was somewhere close. So three life sentences? Ninety years."

"So like," Thomas rebounds, "you can't just go and kill yourself three times? Do they stop reviving you?"

"Actually, the state has an obligation to resurrect all citizens in custody. Can't skate the rules."

Resurrect. Always that word, too. All the way down to the name: Human Resurrection Project. He's also been saying revive, and he's always corrected.

Oh, right, that's what he was gonna ask.

"Why do you keep saying Interim?" Diego blurts.

The sub looks up from Emily. "Sorry?"

"Just, sorry, it's... we died, right?"

This sub is choosing his words carefully. "Your lives did end for an extended period," he obfuscates. "Our term for the point in time this happened to your first resurrection is what's called your Interim."

"I get that part, I was just like... curious--does anybody die?"

"None of you are jonesing to go back, yeah?"

No one raises their hand, but no one's consciously keeping it down, either.

"Might be too daredevil of me to tell y'all this now, because I don't think you should be running off to... here's the hard facts: yes, you can opt out of immediate resurrection. Plenty of people do! Or they have conditions where they would be resurrected."

Now it's Topher asking, "what do they mean by immediate resurrection?"

"Everybody's DNA sample is still kept in archive," the sub just comes out with, "regardless of their willingness to expire and stay expired."

That's the other word. Expire.

"If you'll allow me to argue in a direction you may not be hot towards," the sub says, "I think y'all have taken your first steps into a life truly worth living. Here's that hard question: raise a hand if, when you're life ended... there was ever a moment you were ready."

Maybe four out of nine hands go up. Diego's stays down.

"Collie's notes here say Lewis, Marianne, and Tony were natural causes. Christopher, Emily... Roger and Mark in the back, you were illnesses. Were, to make myself clear. Strong as an ox now, huh? Okay! So it's Thomas and Diego over there: accident. Both of you had your hands down?"

This is true.

"Cool! Or not cool? It's the past. They say y'all's cases have the hardest times adjusting to The Now. Logically we'd assume it's the ones who accepted their expiration, only to have that acceptance nullified by resurrection, that have the most difficulty... moving on, to use that old phrase. But the data favors the case of you two. Did it feel like a dream?"

Neither of the boys vocalize this, but it did feel like a dream. Nodding off on the surgery table.

"You went to sleep. Woke up. Centuries had passed. Quite the culture shock. Question for the accepters in here: did you think you were in heaven?"

Only Marianne did, it seems.

"What y'all have in common was the now outdated idea that, in the moment you expired, all this was over. What I want you to think about now, in these next few weeks, is your purpose. We can understand why the slow march towards oblivion once defined y'all's motivations--or lack thereof--in the same way we can understand why older people thought illness was divine punishment. But you're sticking around. As long as you want. What's your calling? You have nothing but time, and that is the blessing of science."

Roger asks if his parents are, or were, gonna be resurrected. The sub says it depends on available samples. But he should submit a query to the HRP archives department. Open twenty-four hours. Like everything.

Frosty was there to give Diego a ride back, like she only half-promised to. Depended on when her own re-orientation got out. It didn't take long to spy her rental car in the white LED parking lot, no. What took long was exchanging contacts with Thomas. QR codes were a lot faster, Diego thinks. Now you take a picture of someone's face which is cross-referenced with the citizen databanks. From there he had Thomas' phone number, which looked wrong until Diego remembered those are seventeen digits now.

Oh, awesome, Diego thinks, walking to Frosty's car and waving which she doesn't look up to see. Frosty managed to buy one of those FFreshh bars. He was over the moon when he saw disposable vapes had made their way to vending machines. Buying one was too cumbersome, however, and he was slightly embarrassed to have a small line form behind him while he was just trying to start buying one. Something about flavor profile matching and paying through a retina scan. Too much. If he sees one on the way back to the blocks maybe he'll ask Frosty to stop the car.

"What flavor did it give you?" he asks instead of saying hi.

Frosty rolls it in her hand like a coin. Flat enough for it. "Strawberry Daiquiri."

"Bum a smoke?"

"Oh, I dunno, buddy. Who knows what happens if you taste outside of your flavor profile."

They laugh. Diego is so happy she laughs, still.

Holy shit it does taste like a Daquiri. Eerily so. On some Wonka shit. Even has that throat burn under the menthol chill. But holy fuck he wants to cough. Working on several-hundred years without nicotine. Jumping into the deep end of this era's definition of tolerance just hurts. He swallows the pain. Bitch move, coughing around girls.

"They laughed about you in my class," Frosty admits. "Speaking of."

Diego says "Laughed at what?" and passes off his much needed cough like he's got allergies or something.

"Okay, so somebody asked about their parents--"

"Yeah, yeah, if they're gonna... same thing with mine. Sorry. Cut you off."

She snaps the vape back. "I said they were able to save my boyfriend."

"What's the funny part."

"How they did it. You know."

He does know. That theory of his. He was dead instantly. Frosty hung on for another hour or so before the fates took her away--of course before whatever the fuck the fates are doing now. Sad thing is she couldn't be identified by face. The pathologists had to cross reference her teeth with dental records. Good news is they got a match. Weird news is some of the saliva they collected for that careful DNA double-check wasn't hers.

Diego. Here but for the grace of Frosty's mouth.

"Should I thank you?" he wonders out loud.

"You did. Last Sunday."

Oh, yeah. Alcohol's stronger now.

"They said I'd get bullied," Diego says. "New guy. I had a sub this week."

Frosty doesn't keep that thread going. "I dunno if they got my parents," she breathes. "Do you know?"

"About mine? No, no. Doctors said they brought my cousin back like three months ago but I haven't seen him."

"I asked," Frosty says, taking another hit, "about my family," a half-octave down, "but they said I'm the first one."

"I heard getting people who were cremated is the hardest. So that rules out most of mine."

They lean against the car in no hurry back. What's there to be afraid of, in this genre of empty parking lot? Murder? Pssh. Thanks for the nap, maniac.

"Same," Frosty says. "Easy ones first. Guess it makes sense."

"Help me find the irony in this," Frosty breaks the silence. "We die, and... but we're the ones who... Y'know."

"Yeah, yeah," Diego says even though he doesn't. "What are your plans after they let us stop doing these?"

"I dunno, what are yours?"

"My only plan between these is taking walks and drinking those Not-Fees. Have you had one?"

"I can't enjoy walks. Too many ads." She points out to the horizon, to an orange glow on the hills like a TV in a dark room. "I'm sorry, you said Not-Fee?"

"It's like this milk thing. You'd like it."

"Ugh," she belches. "Literally, what is with all the milk. Milk tea? I get it. Straight milk? Who drinks tall glasses of milk?"

"You gotta try one. And I wanna try getting one of those FFreshh bars again. Mind if we swing past the mall on the way back?"

"Shopping block," she corrects him. "But sure."

It's something approaching uncomfortable, how smooth the roads are. And the alarmingly white street lamps, instead of that hypnotic yellow-orange you'd want from a late night freeway. They had decided without it being said that Frosty's the new driver.

[queerlilchinchin]

ALRIGHT

I'mma shut up for now and practice the artwork for the comic that I **STILL** plan to draw -

Fuck you, Negativity or however I worded the title x'D

I'm getting a bit tired so maybe working on something offline will help me get the rest of the way tired.

Ciao for now, friends! Hopefully you won't hear from me again (unless I decide to upload some of the practice art)

[granski]

Cattywampus

Pilot - Part 2 (Three sandeks walk into a stable)

(Any words that may be unfamiliar to you are briefly explained in the appendix situated at the bottom)

☆ ☆ ☆

'What's that, lassie?'  Sneered the witch. With her repulsive, deformed snout, wart-covered nose, and those decaying yellow teeth, and the sickening manner in which she contorted and squirmed her index finger whenever she dared to point at someone, beckoning them to enter the wretched place that was anywhere within a six-foot radius of her, she might as well have been one. Straight out of a storybook, I tells ya!

'I ain't said nuthin'.'

One of the braver little asshats in her class perked up.

'She was sayin' sum, I hears it, Missus!'

'Oh, eat shit, Marty-

'She says sum more jus' now! She tellin' me to eat shi- !'

'An' I'mma shav it right intah that bastard piehole of yours if ya don't shut it right the fork now, you-'

'Mee-sus!'

'Alright, alright-' She tapped her foot-long ruler a few times on her desk. 'Enough roughhousing, you two, we'll sort who's shoving what-where after class-'

'But Missus Halberd- !'

'Marty, we spoke about this already! Last week, remember?'

The boy blinks his bug eyes. Once. Then twice, as his mouth hangs open, devoid of an answer. Heh, lamebrain...

'At the... bring-your-pet-to-Sunday-school day?' He decides to speak up finally. 'When y-you said that... Malinconico didn't count as a pet? And you gave me an F?'

Clearly, that day still hurt deep. Even Shu-Shu could feel bad for him. Almost, but not quite. Get stuffed still for snitchin' on me, Marty!

'Wha-no! That was the week before that! I'm talking about the time when we went over Schmooze 1 to 12, remember? Anyone?'

A hand shot up almost immediately from the desk next to her. Of forkin' course.

'Minnie-Trudy, yes, care to stand and remind us?' She did so unfailingly, like the little stuck-up bootlicker she was. Bleh.

'The Book of Shmooze. Pesuqim three twenty-three:' Her words were blunt, roughly cut, each syllable sung in its own individual pitch. She continues, while Shu-Shu's ears feel like they're about to drop off! "If one doth bear witness to the transgressions of another, he shall not bring forth his report unto the Lord, but rather remain silent. For the eyes of the Almighty doth encompass all things. It is an affront to the divine to point out that which is already within His sight, for it is an act of blasphemy. Thou shalt not be a snitch – for if one snitches, he shall get stiches. End of extract,'

Shu-Shu rolled her eyes so hard that they might've popped out of her head! Everything she says is just so – ugh... perfect. Like - all the time! 

Hah! What a stinkin' nerd! No wonder she's still single!

'Very good, Minnie-Trudy, you can sit down now.' She obeys. Her eyes continue to stare dead ahead at nothing in particular, as much as anyone else would care. All that disgusting ass-kissing made Shu-shu hack. Loudly.

'*Cough!**cough!* - brawn-nozah - *cough!*.'

Some kids around her snickered. Minnie-Trudy only tilted her head curiously, like she wasn't already extremely well-accustomed to this.

Marty, on the other hand, was losing his marbles.

'B-But – that's!' He dared spare her another look.

'Pfffft!' Fortunately for him, blowing a raspberry was all that she had up her sleeve at that moment.

'T-That's n-not fair! Missus, s-she -!'

'Ach, ach, ach, Marty! You're insulting my sight, and by extension God's sight by pointing out Shu-Shu's sin - which is sleeping during my class."

'I ain't been sleepin'!' Said the defendant as she wipes some leftover saliva from the inside of her ear.

'Is that so, huh, lassie? Well, if you weren't sleeping, then pray tell - when The Celibate Merry gave birth to Ajus Kristee, who is not our lord and savior, as Kristian and Katholic propaganda would have you believe, he was brought three gifts. Who were the three people that brought them and why are their gifts important?'

'Uhh...'

Well, that put her in a pickle. How was she suppose to know this one? Crap! Concentrate at least damnit!

As she continued humming though, something had, in fact, popped into her head! Not the actual answer, no - but something better. Something brilliant.

Shu-Shu's idea had began to catch form into her head. It was looking good! It's time to put your confident shoes on, bustah!

'Oh! Why, it was that guy, obviously! Y'know?'

Already, some brows were raised. Oh ho ho, this was gonna be gold!

'Which guy, Shu-Shu? I already specified that there were three of them, didn't I?''

'Nah, there ain't.' Heh, slick 'n smooth's the way.

'What do you mean there 'ain't', lassie, answer the -'

'Nah, nah, see, here's the doozie – you're testin' me right now, ain't cha? This is cuh-lear-ly a trick question! Since every born 'n raised orthodox D'jew would know the answer to this one!'

'Girl, what're you going on about - !'

'It's - the – san- dek!' She practically sing-sang, pointing at her teacher triumphantly, as if saying ''got'cha!''

She hadn't thought that far ahead though, as she just stood there, pointer slowly falling. No one was laughing yet! It's ok, it's oh-kay! She just needed to improvise from that point onward! Yeah! Easy lemons.

'The... sandek! Yeah, yeah – he's like - suuuuper important! Every child only gets one, not three, and – and, he usually brings the babe all kinds of infant whatchamacallits! Heh, like, um, par exemple...'

Come on, down fall now! Think, Shu-Shu, think!

'...a kiddush cup?' Some chuckles had started echoing through the class. Good, good! It's working! Keep going!

' - an' diapers? A... mezuzah, money, or generally anything with the star of Conjubilant on it, it don' matter...'

The whole class had erupted into full-blown laughter at that point. Ha-hah! Suc-cess! One girl, Yael Horowitz, even started choking on her own uncontrollable cackle and struggled, like – actually struggled - to hold onto her stomach, each pant of laughter emitting an ongoing stream of tears and mucus. That's how hard she was laughing! It was not the most flattering sight, sure, but - she appreciated the compliment nonetheless. Snot an' all.

Marty, on the other hand, was still marinating in his own salt like the little crank-muffin he was. Everyone else was enjoying it though! Even Minnie-Trudy's monotone 'ha-ha's' weren't bugging her out as much! Crazy!

Heh, so worth it...

Shu-Shu leaned back into her chair with an air of self-satisfaction, hands propped casually behind her head, legs crossed on the desk, with a triumphant smirk adorning her face. Everyone was in unanimous agreement – the comedic timing and sheer hilarity of her antics were just too clever! Genius even!

Yet... amidst the uproar, one - Missus Halberd - stood devoid of amusement.

Instead - she was filled to the absolute brim with something else. Something that boiled, and that was bubbling out the edges.

Something... rage. She shook where she stood, gripping that ruler so hard that her knuckles turned white.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't know where this was gonna go. What a day full of her jokes amount to. As they always do. Yet she does it anyway, Sunday after Sunday - like an insane person. She just did it again now, and she, and everyone else had to face that demon – a real mean one. Pure fury.

Said fury was so hot that it began to spew.

Right. Out.

'Eee-nough!'

*Crack!*

She slammed the ruler so hard on the desk that it broke off a quarter -

'*Sniff - snif - * Eep!'

- and said quarter flew right past Yael Horowitz's head, then landed, tumbled and eventually slid to a stop on the linoleum floor.

Yael goes mute. Frozen. The rest of the class does too. She could swear that, in that one rigid second, even the cars outside went quiet, and that she could hear a fly snore from somewhere in the class.

'Shu-Shu!' Well, a second lasts only so long. 'I've had it with you! Why can't you be more like your sister, huh? You two look identical, yet you are nothing alike!'

'E-Eh, what can I say? Even with twins, h-humour's irreplicable!'

'Well, a good attitude can certainly be learned! Minnie-Trudy!' Her sister stood up straight, ready to fire. Metaphorically that is.

'Input command.' That squeaky voice stated.

'I trust that you, unlike your delinquent sister, can answer the question properly.'

'Input command.'

'Yeesh, you kids and your funny words...' She shook her head briefly. 'Answer the question, Minnie-Trudy!' 

The girl simply stares dead ahead of her. The other kids start chuckling. 

Shu-Shu on the other hand was not having any of it! Ugh, who does she think she is?

Minnie-Trudy looks around and inspects her surroundings. Turns left – she looks down - DEAREST SISTER. 

Turns right - looks down - PURPOSELESS PREMATURE LIFE FORM.

Looks forward - PURPOSELESS ADULT LIFE FORM.

No command inputted. Initiating inquisitor assistance protocol...

'Does not compute. An error has occurred in processing your request. Please submit a report for device malfunction and seek assistance at the headquarters building in Munich - '

'Alright, alright, sit back down!' The whole class was in hysterics at that point. Shu-Shu hated it. She was supposed to be the funny one! Not...uh, forget it.

Minnie-Trudy settles back into her seat, hands folded neatly on her lap, while the rest of her body stood motionless as if frozen in time. She then abruptly turns her head towards Shu-Shu and attempts to mimic a smile, her very own interpretation of a friendly gesture.

Shu-Shu, however, sits unimpressed, and rolls her eyes in a display of exasperation and emits a dismissive scoff. What a nitwit!

'Now, now, don't think that if your sister's had a nervous breakdown that gets you off the hook, lassie!' Said Halberd, waving that accursed finger cockily. 'You've just earned yourself extra homework for next week! On top of our usual weekly work, you have to write me an essay about the not-messiah and how his birth impacted D'judaism today. And - on top of that, you also have to learn all the archaisms and recite them to me by heart next Sunday.'

A choir of mocking 'ooh's!' rose and circled Shu-Shu's head like a pack of vultures, making her sink deeper into her seat in annoyance. Marty, especially, had the most shit-eating grin and the effort to bawl up her fist and punch it right off was just too exasperating! This was all so bogus!

'You got all that lassie?'

Blah blah blah, yeah I got it alright! Flippin' sick of this already!

'Choke on a potato...' She spat out with half a mouth as she slumped her head on the desk. Some kids around her laugh. She doesn't care! Why even would she? It's not like hearing those laughs will lull her back to sleep. Back to her dream... wait.

Her... dream?

'What was that?'

'Uh-ah - I smell a tornado!' The class erupts into laughter once again. Even more laughter than when Minnie-Trudy did her thing! Hah, take that, ya twit! Never mind their betrayal, this feeling rocks! She turns to her, ready to indulge in sister's jealousy.

Minnie-Trudy grins from ear to ear. Welp, that killed her mood.

'Oh. I too smell incoming destruction! But, since we have the Birkat Habayit at the entrance, we should be fine. Plus, we sprayed some goat blood on the entrance earlier this month, so you could say that we'll be – passed over.' She pauses to laugh at her own pun. Ugh. During days like this, no one could possibly succumb to this sort of humour! It was just too cheap!

Shu-Shu rolled her eyes as she began explaining it. The joke, the religious implications, the Torahdorian lore, it bored her and the rest of the class to tears! Not even Minnie-Trudy was making any slight attempt at entertaining her. Good!

But finally, they've been spared a single sliver of mercy as the school bell tolls. Yes!

A welcome relief washes over them, releasing them from the clutches of their prison-like desks.

Yet... even amidst the rush of liberation and screams of joy, Shu-Shu's mind remains fixated on her elusive dream. Was it truly a dream? The more she tries to recall it, the more it slips through her grasp. Fragments of memory tease her consciousness—something about swimming and... dancing?

The throbbing ache in her head amplifies with each futile attempt to recapture the fading images. Pounding relentlessly, it threatens to consume her thoughts. Just as the pain begins to subside, she realizes with a pang of disappointment that the dream has slipped away entirely, lost in the recesses of her subconscious.

Huh. Well, that sucks.

'Eh, no trouble, it'll most likely just destroy the Katholic School down the street. Those papists have it way overdue...' 

Whatever thought lingered in her mind made that expression of hers turn sour. Even more so than usual. She was getting some odd glances from the kids as they passed her on the way out. 

'Ach, never mind that! Say your prayers before bed and remember to keep Treif or you won't be spared when the Armageddon finally comes!'

'Yes - Missus - Halberd!' The students parroted right as they flew out the door, grateful – as ever - to have lived to see another Sunday. 

☆ ☆ ☆ To be continued ☆ ☆ ☆

sandek (noun) ˈsänˌdek' : a person who holds the Jewish infant during the circumcision ceremony. (or in simple terms, the Jewish variant of a godparent)

kiddush (noun) /ˈkɪdʊʃ/ :a ceremony of prayer and blessing over wine, performed by the head of a Jewish household at the meal ushering in the Sabbath (on a Friday night) or a holy day, or at the lunch preceding it. "kiddush cups"

(Please leave a note if you wish to see more and make sure to check out my Wattpad @Granski if it's more comfortable for you to read there. Thank you and take it sleazy!)

[melye1981]

Haha Facebook Sucks Ballzzzz

Alright, I got kicked off FB for a week for saying someone was a bitch and tellin' her to sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up. WOW Facebook and YouTube are getting fuckin' ridiculous. Closed Captions on YouTube blanks out the swear words and Facebook gets all bent over someone being called a bitch. Stupid as fuck. I don't know about you, but I'm sick and fuckin' tired of being treated like a mothafuckin' child on social media. "Watch your mouth now, kids, you might hurt someone's feelers, n then we gotta put you in FB jail or ban you from YouTube. You're in time out"... Might as well slap my hand and say "no no" to me. Fuck. Tired of that shit. Since when are we a spineless nation of fuck tards who shit themselves over vulgar language and freedom of speech?? Oh my, we've evolved into a bunch of tattle tales and whiny bitches! Those kindsa people need to grow the fuck up. People are gonna speak truth, people are gonna get argumentative on social media, just as in real life. Hey, you 42 year old person, go sit in time out for speaking your mind. You just offended someone and they cried. Mannnn what the fuck? I'm a free-spirited Aquarius. You ain't censorin' me, God dammit! I don't give a fuck how many times I get banned on social media, I'mma stay me, I'mma speak my mind, vulgar language included, and if someone gets their feelers hurt, I don't really give a shit. I ain't no bakery, so you ain't gettin' nothin' sugar coated from me, my nizzle. Grow a backbone and quit whinin' over words... Damn...

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Watching the 'Inside Vice Versa' videos and feeling very called out...

Why yes...you betcha I am.

And also...for those or you who read my long-ass post about ep 1, here's yet another example of what I think are the four main/important colours together in the clothes on the bed: red and blue, and yellow and green. 👀

Anyway, is it Saturday yet?