#also I don’t see enough hype over this child actors performance

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

Dancing is for people who are free.

— Jojo Rabbit (2019)

dir. Taika Waititi

[chaoticloving]

So... I had this funny request.. See.. What if Reader is a famous personality? Like they are an actor and a singer at an young age? Like they worked for movies like Harry Potter and marvel and then later on took singing as career option which resulted being an awesome choice as their music skyrocketed. So what if One directions manager arranged a collab with reader? And one direction was also a huge fan of her but Harry had a huge celebrity crush on reader which he had hinted alot of times in interviews which fans could see, reader didn't knew them well only that they were a famous band and she didn't knew their names too? as she was rather busy with her own stuff plus she didn't knew fans shipping her and harry? So when they all saw reader at the office because it was kept a surprise for them with whom they were gonna collab so Harry started fan girling? I mean it's just pure fluff and teen love?

Performance of a Lifetime

harry styles x reader

a/n: lil blurb for ya! changed it a bit! plus some cheesy h for you!

Harry’s never felt more excited in his life, entirely exhausted, but had that excited-about-to-vomit feeling inside of him while practicing this dance routine.

Its how all of one-direction was feeling at the moment. Wanting to drop dead like flys but not because they needed to impress a certain singer, joining them for a charity performance.

Y/n was a house-hold name, from a young age of being a child star, working her ass off to be taken seriously without being taken advantage of, she slowly dipped into the world of music before she started to become the face of the music industry. She was doing a joint performance with one-direction this friday as the headliner for the day.

Harry nearly fainted when his managers told him they were preforming with her; he also didn’t hesitate to go to dance rehearsals when asked too. He needed to make sure his performance was flawless but also needed to work up his abs—and by work up he means create.

This afternoon though, will be the first time him and be the rest of the band meet Y/n. Harry new he had some competition over winning the stars heart; both Zayn and Louis were trying suspiciously hard during rehearsal to outshine one another, and Harry hated every moment of it.

Soon enough though, they were out of the showers and changing into more professional clothing to meet the singer. Harry was tapping his foot, rehearsing how he was going to introduce himself and win over the girl.

“You ready?”

“Huh?”

Niall chuckled and wrapped his arm around Harry as they walked down the long hall. “You’re going to meet your celebrity crush! Big day for you.”

“I don’t have a celebrity crush-“

“Everyone has a celebrity crush. Mine in Selena Gomez.” Niall chided. “I think Zayn likes one of that Hadid girls, Liam likes Miley Cyrus, and Louis likes any celebrity that people say are nice—which I think is a good thing honestly.”

“How’d you know that then.” Harry sighed.

“You remember in X-factor days, those stair videos we did?” Harry nodded. “Someone asked who our celebrity crushes were, and I think yours is the only one that hasn’t changed.

Harry shook his head, ignoring and hoping that Niall is the only one stupid enough to remember whatever video. “But you saw Zayn and Louis in practice today? They were trying much more than normal, no way they don’t have a crush.”

Niall shrugged his shoulders. “She’s hot. Of course they do. I mean, if she talks to me and is nice I might.”

Harry shoved Niall off of him and groaned, speed walking away from his friend and trying to catch up to the rest of the boys.

“Wait up you dolt.” Niall yelled. “Don’t be stupid, I follow the girl code—I won’t date, flirt, or fuck your crush—and the bro code—I will hype you up. Scouts honor.”

Harry sighed. He was grateful for Niall’s help, really; but sometimes it gets a little carried away with matters of the heart.

“Hurry up ya pussys!” Liam shouted from the elevator, holding the door open for the boys. He got a smack from the manager, John, who gave him a stern glare for his word choice.

Harry and Niall got into the cramped elevator and watched as the doors closed. Harry watched the red numbers go up, slowly yet not stopping. He started worrying as he got higher and higher, it was less than five minutes until he meets his crush—he shivered at the thought.

The doors chimed and then opened. The boys pushed each other out, Zayn, Louis, and it seems now Liam were all extra eager to meet Y/n. John walked slowly behind the group, typing away on his phone.

The say the assistant who stood up when the men entered and made a gesture for them to follow her. She knocked on the door. “Y/n you’ve got your entourage here.”

“Entourage-“ Liam questioned, before the door swung open.

Y/n glanced over the boys, giving them a once-over, and then opened the door fully to let them in. “It’s nice to meet you all!” She chided, flashing a quick smile. “Come in! Come in!”

The women turned around and sat at the other end of a long table, filled with mood-boards, pictures, and tons and tons of sheet-filled binders. The rest of them joined on the opposite side. Harry didn’t miss the glance Y/n sent him, it wasn’t as confused as the last time though, it was more…curious.

Harry ignored that thought. He’s just being delusional.

“Alright so one-direction I can’t wait to preform with you all this weekend.” Y/n’s assistant handed her a clipboard, and she flicked through the pages. “I see the songs you want to preform, and I must admit, I’m not hugely familiar with your work and would like to go over them.” Her manager nudged her. “Sorry.” She sighed, clearing her throat. “I’d like to get to know all of you foremost.”

Harry blinked, but Liam didn’t. “My names Liam, huge fan of your work—both music and film. I sing, dance, date, you name it!”

“Alright nice to meet you-“

“I’m Louis. Raised in Doncaster. And I like your work too, especially that one song on your last album—the one that goes like “why not me la la—“

“Would it surprise you if I told you he’s a singer too.” Zayn smirked, hand on Louis’ shoulder to get him to stop. “I’m Zayn, and to make the rest quick that’s Niall and the one on the end is Harry.”

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you all. And I’m Y/n and quite frankly I’m ready to get to work.” The boys nodded in agreement, a little afraid. “So...Story of My Life.”

~

“Y/n how was it preparing for this event with a group of boys? Annoying I bet.” The interviewer asked.

Y/n and the boys were in their stage outfits, less then an hour left until their due on stage. Harry had on his black skinny jeans, and a grey tang top, his tattoos on display—trying to go for the edgy, bad-boy look. Y/n had on black baggie jeans and a tight, cropped bra-like shirt to match. Harry liked how they looked coordinated.

“It’s been a trip, honestly.” Y/n laughed. “I didn’t know much about one direction, but I like to think that that I’ve made some friends.” Y/n giggled as she pulled in Harry, her arm around his neck. Harry was quite shocked, first of all, he wasn’t apart of the interview, and second of all, she considered him a friend!

“Can you confirm Styles?”

“Oh yeah. We’re best friends at this point.” He delivered his million dollar smile (with a hint of desperation in there) and felt the heat from his blush on his cheeks rise up. “Nice break from those losers back there.” Harry pointed to the boys behind him, shooting the shit and trying to look better.

“How cute you two look! All matching! Was this on purpose?”

“Uhh.” Harry didn’t know what to say. Luckily Y/n saved him.

“Of course! Gotta have the main attractions coordinating!” She joked, leaning into Harry’s chest.

“How cute of a couple!” Harry’s jaw dropped and could feel Y/n freeze. “I’ve got the others to interview! Good luck!”

~~

How Harry got through the performance will forever be a mystery. How he will face Y/n again is an even bigger mystery.

After the interviews went on, more and more people questioned or reminded him of his relationship status with the star. He couldn't even get much of a break after the show because they swung into even more interviews, some better than others though.

Y/n acted odd though. Harry thought back to different relationships he has had with women he was friends with, none were this close to him, sometimes the hug here and there but never hand holding or arm around the neck constantly. Harry was getting mixed signals and was scared he was misinterpreting Y/n's actions. But the public eye, and his band mates, were always around watching him so it's not like much could be said without fear of someone knowing.

"Alright, I think that wraps up this interview. Next in two." Some manager said.

"Hey." Y/n whispered. Harry glanced around him, no one was near; the other boys sat on a separate couch from him and Y/n, and no praying ears were about.

"What?" Thats how you flirt Harry? Come on.

Y/n smiled though. "I just wanted to say I liked hanging out with you today."

"Really?"

"I wanted to know if you could hang out again, but without everyone else?"

"Like a date?" Harry gasped, voice not even a whisper.

"Yeah? If thats alright?" Y/n asked, looking at the dreamed out Harry who was rapidly blushing. "H?"

"Get ready boys!" ... "And Y/n."

"H were are almost live." Y/n reminded him, fixing herself up and then him. "Wanna answer?"

"Good afternoon-"

"Yes." Harry interrupted the interviewer, looking over at shocked Y/n. "Of course! I know this great place off of some road-"

Harry got knocked with a pillow by Niall, who gave him a rude look.

"Anything you wanna share mate?" The interviewer asked.

Harry smiled, finally looking where he should of been all this time, instead of the girl next to him. He nodded his head, held up high and straightened his shirt.

"I got a date."

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/7/2020

I missed THE GOLDEN GLOVE at Fantastic Fest last year. It was one of my only regrets of the whole experience, but it was basically mandatory since the available screenings were opposite the much-hyped PARASITE. As annoying as that sounds, it was actually a major compliment, since what could possibly serve as a consolation prize for the most hotly anticipated movie of the year? Needless to say, I heard great things, but I could never have imagined what it was actually like. I'm still wrapping my mind around it.

Between 1970 and 1975, an exceptionally depraved serial killer named Fritz Honka murdered at least four prostitutes in Hamburg's red light district. Today, we tend to think of the archetypal serial killer in terms of ironic contradictions: The public is attracted by Ted Bundy's dashing looks and suave manner, and John Wayne Gayce's dual careers as politician and party clown. Lacking anything so remarkable, we associate psychopathy with Norman Bates' boy-next-door charm, and repeat "It's always the quiet ones" with a smirk whenever a new Jeffrey Dahmer or Dennis Nilsen is exposed to the public. The popular conception of a bloodthirsty maniac is not the fairytale monster of yore, but a wolf in sheep's clothing, whose hygienic appearance and lifestyle belie his twisted desires. In our post-everything world, the ironic surprise has become the rule. In this light, THE GOLDEN GLOVE represents a refreshing return to naked truth.

To say that writer-director Fatih Akin's version of the Fritz Honka story is shocking, repulsive, and utterly degenerated would be a gross understatement. We first meet the killer frantically trying to dispose of a corpse in his filthy flat, wallpapered with porno pinups, strewn with broken toys, and virtually projecting smell lines off of the screen. One's sense of embodiment is oppressive, even claustrophobic, as the petite Honka tries and fails to collapse the full dead weight of a human corpse into a garbage bag, before giving up and dismembering it, with nearly equal difficulty. The scene is appalling, utterly debased, and yet nothing is as shocking as the killer's visage. When he finally turns to look into the camera, it's hard to believe he's even human: the rolling glass eye, the smashed and inflated nose, the tombstone teeth and cratered skin, are almost too extreme to bear. Actually, suffering from a touch of facial blindness, I had to stare intently at Honka's face for nearly half the movie before I could fully convince myself that I was, in fact, looking at an elaborate prosthetic operation used to transform 23 year old boy band candidate Jonas Dassler into the disfigured 35 year old serial murderer.

Though West Germany remained on a steady economic upturn beginning in the 1950s and throughout the 1970s, you wouldn't know it from THE GOLDEN GLOVE. If Honka's outsides match his insides, they are further matched by his stomping grounds in the Reeperbahn, a dirty, violent, booze-soaked repository for the dregs of humanity. Though its denizens may come from different walks of life, one thing is certain: Whoever winds up there, belongs there. Honka was the child of a communist and grew up in a concentration camp, yet he swills vodka side by side with an ex-SS officer, among other societal rejects, in a crumbling dive called The Golden Glove. The scene is an excellent source of hopeless prostitutes at the end of their career, who are Honka's prime victims, as he is too frightful-looking to ensnare an attractive young girl. These pitiful women all display a peculiarly hypnotic willingness to go along with Honka, no matter how sadistic he becomes; this seems to have less to do with money, which rarely comes up, and more to do with their shared awareness that for them, and for Honka too, it's been all over, for a long time.

Not to reduce someone’s performance to their physical appearance, but ???

To call Dassler's portrayal of Honka "sympathetic" would be a bridge too far, but it is undeniably compelling. He supports the startling impact of his facial prostheses with a performance of rare intensity, a full-body transformation into a person in so much pain that a normal life will never become an option. His physical vocabulary reminded me of the stage version of The Elephant Man, in which the lead actor wears no makeup, but conveys John Merrick's deformities using his body alone. Although there is an abundance of makeup in THE GOLDEN GLOVE, Dassler's silhouette and agonized movements would be recognizable from a mile away. In spite of his near-constant screaming rage, the actor manages to craft a rich and convincing persona. During a chapter in which Honka experiments with sobriety, we find a stunning image of him hunched in the corner of his ordinarily chaotic flat, now deathly still, his eyes gazing at nothing as cigarette smoke seeps from his pores, having no idea what to do with himself when he isn't in a rolling alcoholic rampage. The moment is brief but haunting in its contrast to the rest of the film, having everything to do with Dassler's quietly vibrating anxiety.

Performances are roundly excellent here, not that least of which are from Honka's victims. The cast of middle-aged actresses looking their most disastrous is hugely responsible for the film's impact. These are the kinds of performances people call "brave", which is a euphemism for making audiences uncomfortable with an uncompromising presentation of one's own self, unvarnished by any masturbatory solicitation. Among these women is Margarete Tiesel, herself no stranger to difficult cinema: She was the star of 2012's PARADISE: LOVE, a harrowing drama about a woman who copes with her midlife crisis by pursuing sex tourism in Kenya. Her brilliant, instinctive performance as one of Honka's only survivors--though she nearly meets a fate worse than death--makes her the leading lady of a movie that was never meant to have one.

So, what does all this unpleasantness add up to, you might be asking? It's hard to say. THE GOLDEN GLOVE is a film of enormous power, but it can be difficult to explain what the point of it is, in a world where most people feel that the purpose of art is to produce some form of pleasure. This is the challenge faced by difficult movies throughout history, like THE GOLDEN GLOVE's obvious ancestors, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER, MANIAC and THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. Describing unremitting cruelty with relentless realism is not considered a worthy endeavor by many, even if there is real artistry in your execution; some people will even mistake you for advocating and enjoying violence and despair, as we live in a world where huge amount of movie and TV production is devoted to aspirational subjects. (The fact that people won't turn away from the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, no matter how monotonous and condescending they become, should tell you something) How do you justify to such people, that you want to make or see work that portrays ugliness and evil with as much commitment as other movies seek to portray love, beauty, and family values? Why isn't it enough to say that these things exist, and their existence alone makes them worth contemplation?

A rare, perhaps exclusive “beautiful image” in THE GOLDEN GLOVE, from Fritz Honka’s absurd fantasies.

You may detect that I have attempted to have this frustrating conversation with many people, strangers, enemies, and friends I love and respect. I find that for some, it is simply too hard to divorce themselves from the pleasure principle. I don't say this to demean them; some hold the philosophy that art be reserved for beauty, and others have a more literary feeling that it's ok to show characters in grim circumstances, as long as the ultimate goal is to uplift the human spirit. Even I draw the line somewhere; I appreciate the punk rebellion of Troma movies as a cultural force, but I do not enjoy watching them, because I dislike what I perceive as contempt for the audience and the aestheticization of laziness--making something shitty more or less on purpose. A step or three up from that, you land in Todd Solondz territory, where you find materially gorgeous movies whose explicit statement is that our collective reverence for a quality called "humanity" is based on nothing. I like some of those movies, and sometimes I even like them when I don't like them, because I'm entranced by Solondz's technical proficiency...and maybe, deep down, I'm not completely convinced about "humanity", either. However, I don't fight very hard in arguments about him; I understand the objections. Still, I've been surprised by peers who I think of as bright and tasteful, who absolutely hated movies I thought were unassailable, like OLDBOY and WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN. In both cases, the ultimate objection was that they accuse humans of being pretentious and self-deceptive, aspiring to heroism or bemoaning their victimhood while wallowing in their own cowardice and perversity. Ok, I get it...but, not really. Why isn't it ever wholly acceptable to discuss, honestly, what we do not like about ourselves?

The beguiling thing about THE GOLDEN GLOVE is that, although it is instantly horrifying, is it also an impeccable production. The director can't help showing you crime scene photos during the ending credits, and I can't really blame him, when his crew worked so hard to bring us a vision of Fritz Honka's world that approaches virtual reality. But it isn't just slavishly realistic; it is vivid, immersive, an experience of total sensory overload. Not a square inch of this movie has been left to chance, and the product of all this graceful control is totally spellbinding. I started to think to myself that, when you've achieved this level of artifice, what really differentiates a movie like THE GOLDEN GLOVE from something like THE RED SHOES? I mean, aside from their obvious narrative differences. Both films plunge the viewer into a world that is complete beyond imagination, crafted with a rigor and sincerity that is rarely paralleled. And, I will dare to say, both films penetrate to the depths of the human soul. What Fatih Akin finds there is not the same as what Powell and Pressburger found, of course, but I don't think that makes it any less real. Akin's film is adapted from a novel by Heinz Strunk, and apparently, some critics have accused Akin of leaving behind the depth and nuance of the book, to focus instead on all that is gruesome about it. This may be true, on some level; I wouldn't know. For now, I can only insist that on watching THE GOLDEN GLOVE, for all its grotesquerie, I still got the message.

[thesparkinthefire]

Ghost - Pedro Pascal x Reader, part 2

A/N: I finally, finally finished this. Wuhu! Part two of the Ghost series (that is turning into a three piece) is here for your entertainment. The musical mentioned later on is called Six and I am referring to the character of Katherine Howard, in case anyone is interested. I tried not to let the musical-nerd take over but I don’t know if that worked. I also wrote a bit about The Mandalorian and will just assume everyone who likes Pedro has already seen that, haha.

Word count: 3,729

Paaring: Pedro Pascal x musical!Reader

Trigger Warning: anxiety, age gap hinted, someone cried a bit

part one

“If there's anything left I can do to convince myself it could be true it's up to me, to suspend my disbeliefs.” - Suspend my disbeliefs, the Ghost cast album

You were nervous. More than that. Your confidence had gone missing two days ago and you started asking yourself why you had even accepted the role in the first place. You were portraying Molly. Molly. The female leading role of a musical based on a movie that everyone had seen. What made you think that it was a good idea in the first place?

Of course you and Oscar, who was playing Sam, had been practising for weeks but the premiere was only two days away. Two day. You had been staring at the script in front of you for ten minutes now. What was the line? This morning, when you had done your first run through you had remembered it but now it was gone – erased from your memory and you couldn't stop asking yourself how you were suppose to remember anything once you were on stage. No, you thought to yourself. Now was not the right time to panic. You just had to go through the whole scene and the line would come to you. Okay, breath. What was the scene?

Molly and Karl were sitting in a restaurant, talking about how she had information about Sam's murder. Sam, as a ghost, was standing beside them. While she was trying to convince Karl to believe what the fortune-teller had said. Suspend My Disbelieves was playing in the background. Molly was telling him the things the psychist had told her – the photo they took in an empty bus, the starfish in Montego Bay – and that Sam knew who killed him. Karl protests and Molly tells him, that she had a name and address and that Sam wants her to go to the police. “The police? Jesus, Molly,” says Karl. “What are you gonna tell them?” Sam talks in the background and Molly-... What does Molly say? Fuck.

It was gone. The line was gone, fucking vanished. You would never be able to do the whole show even though that was what you started with. Acting in a movie was so different to performing in a musical. When shooting a movie you had multiple takes to get a scene right – sometime you would even go back at a later point and rework it, when the writers changed a dialogue or something just wasn't right about it. But when you were doing a musical you normally only had about a month of rehearsals with the cast, before that you learned the songs on your own and had your vocals prepared for the assemble to join you. And then you rehearsed. And rehearsed and rehearsed. But there was no rewind once the show started. No one was gonna yell “Cut!” and ask you to do it again. The audience was right in front of you and they expected nothing less than you doing your job without any mistakes.

Musicals had always been your passion. You had been in music-focused classes in school giving you two extra music lessons a week and joined the school's choir as soon as you were allowed to. You had been taking dancing classes since you were a child. Playing theatre in the long summer holidays and visiting theatre camps. You had been growing up wanting to be a musical actress and your dream had become true when you joined a West End production in London. Your first role was in the assemble, the next was a side character and the next a main. People saw you had potential and they never regretted giving you a chance. Then you had the offer to play the female leading role in a teen-romance movie – before that you had never through about filming movies but you gave it a try and hell. It felt like a dream when they called you to tell you, that the statistics had been going through the roof. From one day to another your life changed completely. That was when you stopped playing theatre and musicals. You moved to California, after you had been offered a role in a promising movie series and then got the part in The Mandalorian. And met Pedro.

You grew up with Star Wars. Your whole childhood had been Star Wars themed – from birthday parties to the prequels in cinema to The Clone Wars series to reading literally every book out there. If there was anything you loved as much as you loved musicals it was Star Wars. You remembered your dad calling you “Padawan” when you were building birdhouses when you were ten years old. You remember presenting a Star Wars book in school. You even did your final oral exam in Spanish about Star Wars just because it was the only thing you could possible focus on other than musicals. So when you had the chance to be part of that universe you took it. Nothing could have kept you from doing it. You knew you would accept it before you even knew what the part would exactly be. When you met John and Dave – who were producing and writing The Mandalorian – you were shaking. You were so nervous that you felt like you were about to shit your pants at any minute, you chugged a whole glass of water during the meeting and just couldn't stop shaking. That's how excited you were. And it didn't get better when they told you about what they had planned for your character.

Aurine Jaxx – your character – was set to become something like the girlfriend to Din Djarin. Not really a girlfriend, because his life and story line was focused about The Child but you were introduced to show even more how much he struggled in between being a Mandalorian warrior and wanting to retire and just be human. You loved Pedro Pascal and how he portrayed Din. Of course you had seen the first season of the show. That scene in the last episode when the droid took his helmet off? Those were the only two minutes when your saw his face all season but the acting in this was fabulous. Messed up hair, trembling lips, shiny eyes – you were able to see how afraid of dying he was, even though it was something he had been confronted with every day of his life since he was a child. You were over the moon to be able to work with him.

Din met the fiance of Aurine in a dubious bar. He asked him to return his soon-to-be wife to him after she had ran away. Din, in need of a job after breaking with the guild, accepted and met her. But soon he found out that she was running from him, not because she was afraid to commit to a life with him, but because he was mistreating her, cheating on her and even threatening to physically hurt her. So Din took her with him instead of bringing her back to the fiance and she stayed. They grew closer and closer and he started trusting her more than anyone.

The scene you were the most nervous for was kissing him. Of course acting with someone who wore a helmet all the time wasn't easy but the kissing scene was way harder. It was set to be at night-time, The Child sleeping in the ship while Din and Aurine sat outside by a small campfire in the middle of nowhere. You had to close your eyes and he placed his hand above them just to be sure you wouldn't be able to look. You remember his hands being cold, contrasting the warm breath in your skin. His lips ghosted over yours, before he kissed you. He was so gentle and shy about it, while you moved a hand into his hair and pulled him closer. Soft lips on yours while his fingers painted feather-light touches on your cheek. Watching the scene back was sending shivers down your spine. Kissing Pedro Pascal wasn't something you ever thought you would. He was such a talented actor that you were almost sure he wasn't acting in that scene, that he had really been nervous to kiss you. Maybe you were hoping for it. But obviously that wasn't the case. He was a brilliant actor.

And now you were here. Back at playing musicals, what you had started with, and you never felt so insecure in your whole life. Confidence was the key to a good stage presence and you had lost it all. So when you got a text from Pedro you basically lost it. All he sent was “How are you doing? Haven't heard from you all day.” but it made you tear up immediately. Without sparing a second thought you asked him, if he wanted to come over because you were about to freak out. “Be there in 15.”

Pedro had a talent for calming your nerves – he had proven that a few times during your time together at press-tour for The Mandalorian. Interviews made you nervous especially if they were live or in front of a huge audience. You were always afraid you might say something the fans wouldn't be pleased with or even accidentally spoiling the show. He made sure you drank enough throughout the day, got enough rest, and always had some sweets for you before an interview to push your blood sugar and stop your hands from shaking. His touch was calming and comforting but made your heart race at the same time. In a good way. Saying, you didn't like being close to him, would be lying. He held your hand at crowded places, had an arm over the backrest of your seat during interviews and sometimes even cuddled with you in cold planes. You have had a few movie nights over the weeks you have been touring, because the hype for the second season was enormous, and they always ended the same: Watching maybe half of the movie before one of you fell asleep. You have been falling asleep on his shoulder and woken up to the beat of his heart.

So it was no surprise to you, that he showed up at your door with a bar of chocolate and two beer. “Do you think alcohol is the thing I need right now?”

“Alcohol calms one's nerves,” he answered with a smile, handing you the beer and the chocolate, after you had let him inside. “You said you were freaking out and I guessed it was because of the premiere, so I brought you something to help you calm a bit.”

“But alcohol is not the best thing for your voice.”

“It is not?”

“Not for your singing voice,” you confirmed, dropping onto the sofa. You put your head back and closed your eyes. You shouldn't be bitching around – you had asked him to come over. “Sorry, I am just stressed. I keep forgetting that one line I have right before the break and the thought that that might happen on stage, in front of the audience, scares me.”

Pedro sat down beside you, gaze wandering over you. “I get that but you are gonna be okay. You are a great actress and do musicals just as well.”

“You have never seen me perform a musical.”

“Internet,” he admitted, causing you to open your eyes and tilting your head into his direction. “Don't look at me like that, you have watched my former projects too. You have basically seen me naked.”

“Well, that's because your projects were big and highly advertised – unlike the small musicals I took part in. You can only watch them because of illegal uploads on YouTube.” Oh, some of those YouTube videos had the potential to drive him mad.

The musical you had gotten a leading role in was about girl power and women realizing, that they should work together and hype each other instead of comparing one another. He loved that message, really, but what he loved more was you. And that little of a costume you were wearing. You were basically in nothing more than tights, a bodysuit and a see-through skirt on stage. Maybe it was fate that no videos of your solo song were online – the song was rather sexy and Pedro didn't know if he would have been able to handle seeing you in that costume, singing about men wanting you.

“I like to do my research on the people I work with.”

You couldn't fight the smile forming on your lips. “I should have done a deep dive into my brain before I accepted the role. Seriously, I don't think I can do it. I might just pass out right before the curtain opens.”

“You will do great,” he assured you.

“I won't.” You got up to get a bottle opener from your kitchen. “I can't even remember that one line.”

“Let me help.” You sat back down, handed Pedro the opener after you had opened you own beer and took a sip. “Which scene are we talking about?” He had the script in his hands already. Oscar and you had him over for practise a few times, so he knew most of the scenes you shared.

“The one where Molly first tells Karl that Sam had been murdered. I know that Sam says something like “Jesus, Molly, what are you gonna tell them?” and then I am suppose to say something but I can't remember it at all. I have been going through the scene a million times now – talking it through, acting through it, but nothing helps.”

“No wonder you don't remember what you are suppose to say.” He laughed quietly and you really didn't know what on earth was funny about that. “You are singing.”

“I am-” All of a sudden the line was back in your head as if it had never been gone. Of course! “Suspend my disbelieves.” Pedro nodded. “Oh, thank god, I am not going crazy!”

“You are gonna have the music on stage that will remind you, that you have to sing – don't worry.”

“That is the problem, you know? I used to not be this worried when it came to musicals. I used to be so confident in what I am doing but it is all gone now. When did that happen?”

“You just haven't performed in front of an audience for a long time. That happens to me too when I go back from cinema and TV to theatre.” You had almost forgotten about that. On one hand you would love to see him in a play, but that would mean he would stay in his home in New York, while you were Los Angeles based right now. You didn't even think about the possibility about him moving back to the opposite side of the country once all deals and meetings for his next projects were done. He had stayed in his LA apartment ever since you met him, except for the time between Christmas and the new year. How were you suppose to survive here without him? “Do you want to sing one of the songs? Music always seems to calms you.”

The question hit you out of the blue but he was right. You had a playlist full of songs that soothed you and you had used it more than once since the rehearsals had started. “Y-yeahr,” you answered, nodded, and moved over to your piano. “Can I sing a sad song?”

“You mean Without You? I haven't heard you sing that one yet.” Of course he had listened to the original cast record. Why haven't you thought about that? Yes, he had heard some songs of the production you were working on, but mainly the ones you shared with Oscar. And there wouldn't be an album for your cast.

“Okay, I will try to do that.”

“You will be great.” His words made your heart skip a beat. How was he able to smooth you with such a simple sentence?

“But you gotta stay behind me – I don't like seeing people stare at me when I sing.”

“Says you, the musical actress?” He had to hold back a laugh.

“Performing on stage in front of an audience of hundreds is something else than performing for one person in my living room.”

“Okay, I'll give you that. Go ahead.” Pedro moved to stand behind you, the beer still in his hand. You sat everything up and took a deep breath before you started the song. It was probably the most emotional moment of the whole show, besides the final. Molly was mourning Sam with that song, expressing the pain of losing him and how she tried to deal with it. Performing it in the play was hard, because you were on the edge of crying for real most of the times. Of course you had lost people close to you in your young life already, but part of the song also reminded you of Pedro and how hopeless your love for him was. He probably saw himself as a mentor of your, I not even a father figure. But you couldn't stop seeing him in front of your inner eyes among the line “Every place I wanna be, I wanna see you there.” You wanted him by your side. You wanted him to be your date for the premiere and the after show party. You didn't want him to go back to New York, you wanted him to stay with you in LA. You wanted him to hold you when times were as stressful as they were right now. You wanted him to kiss you, to wrap his arms around you and to tell you, that no matter what happened, he would be by your side. And you wanted him to mean it. To feel the same. To love you. God, you wished he would love you.

By the end of the song your heart was aching. It was hurting and you were glad, that he didn't say a word for a minute. You could just pretend that you were in your role and he would understand that the song made you sad, because it made Molly sad. But just as you were about to crack a lame joke about it, you heard a sniff. And it didn't come from you. “Are you-” You turned around to see Pedro having his back turned to you, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Are you crying?”

“No.” His voice was shaking. Slowly he turned back facing you, lips curled to a small smile. “Absolutely not.” His eyes were a little red and shiny. He was crying.

“Oh god, I am sorry.” You stood up and went to hug him.

“Just proves what a great actress you are.” He returned it. You closed your eyes, leaned your head against him and took a quiet but deep breath. Was it selfish? Maybe. But perhaps you needed the comfort just as much as he did. Just in a different way. Feeling his warm body against your own. His hair tickled your ear. God, he smelled good. Something you had always liked about him. You couldn't define it, but it was good. Everything about him was good. And you regretted nothing more, than that you had never asked him out, never had made a move on him.

Taglist: @longitud-de-onda

[lokisasylum]

Map of the Soul: 7 Album - First listen review

[I won’t bother reviewing the ones from PERSONA that were added, since I already did a post for Persona when it came out. Only the new songs]

#1. Interlude: SHADOW

WOW.... just when you thought the first version hit hard/differently. The extended version comes in to choke-slam you against the wall.

#2.  Black Swan

Our new Royal to take a spot in the throne of power along with Blood Sweat & Tears, Spring Day, Fake Love, and Outro: TEAR.

Do we even need to add more additional to what we’ve been saying since its release? As an artist, the lyrics still pull at my heart strings the same way they did the first time I heard it. Especially the verse that says:

‘If this can no longer resonate No longer make my heart vibrate Then like this may be how I die my first death But what if that moment’s right now Right now .’

This verse can be applied to ANY time we loose faith in ourselves or have to give up on a dream/passion and how that separation slowly kills us inside.

#3. Filter (Jimin’s solo)

....Not gonna lie, this song gives me TRUST ISSUES just because its Jimin LOL!

‘Cause I remember seeing & hearing Serendipity for the first time and it was such a lovely melody and the lyrics were so soothing like a lullaby expressing Love in its purest form.

But then you see the choreo and it all went Magic Mike SO FAST X”D.

Because on one hand the lyrics (at first glance) can be interpreted as Jimin seeing himself through Army’s eyes. How WE see his “Duality” - cute/adorable/lovely one minute and then sensual/tantalizing the next.

That boring expression of yours, boring feet Please look at me now Put down your phone, don’t even think about turning your head Let me know your type You can choose and use me yeah

Oh I cover your eyes with my hand Oh go towards the secret I’ll take you to a brand new world Yeah open your closed eyes now go!

Mix the colors of the palette, pick your filter Which me do you want? The one who’s going to change your world, I’m your filter Cover it over your heart

(Ok) How is it, do you feel it a bit? Is it still not enough? (Yes) Girl you have your chance I can be your Genie How ’bout Aladdin? I’ll become anything [for you] You can choose and use me yeah

That first part really does sound like how he would accommodating his “Persona” to make us happy.  And every-time something he does isn’t enough he changes again. 

Of course this doesn’t have to mean what he’s doing in the present, “Filter” could be just like “Lie” which spoke of his past-self and how he used to blame himself for the group’s failures. So maybe he’s expressing how’s he’s had to change himself throughout the years to please the fans as long as they understood and accepted who HE REALLY IS beyond the Idol persona.

Or y’know, this is just a very sexy number he wanted to try and shy away from his comfort zone XD. And I’ll bet all my money that the choreo’s gonna be SEXY AF and WE AIN’T READY FOR IT.

P.S. that moment when the music stops and he goes: “OKAY.” WITH HIS SEXY DEEP AF VOICE, JESUS!!!!

#4. My Time (Jungkook’s solo)

Kook’s solo not only reminded me heavily of “Begin”, but it also sounds like what “Decalcomania” should’ve been if he had released the full version.

He’s seeing himself not as an Idol, but not quite as Jeon Jeongguk either.

Like he’s just standing in the middle watching his two selves, his two Personas and trying to find which one is his. Which reality he is living in--or should be living in. Which part of his life belongs to his “normal/non Idol self” and which one is part of the mask/Idol self he puts up for the fans.

And yes, you know, yes. you know Oh I can’t call ya, I can’t touch ya Oh I can’t Let me know Can I someday find my time? Finna find my time Someday finna find my time 

This verse sounds like he’s still experiencing that loneliness that all artists experience during stardom very often (Note on how in Shadow Yoongi is the one who says: “Nobody ever told me how lonely it is up here.” ). Like how he sometimes wishes he could tell someone, but can’t?

#5. Louder than bombs

All rise for our National Anthem!

If Shadow hit hard while choke slamming you. Then this song is the overkill.

The vocals are insane, and the lyrics mixed with the music tell one story through two points of view. Actor in the spotlight and Actor as a Spectator.

This is BTS telling us how people view them and having to keep their emotions in check in the face of criticism from general audience and even antis, versus how they truly feel inside and behind close doors.

Break, unwind, let it out, breathe out, stand up, pray for better days and keep moving.

#6. ON

THIS👏SONG👏FUCKING👏SLAPS👏PERIOD👏!

The energy, the rap line, the vocal line, the CRAZY FOOTWORK AND INSANE CHOREO.

THE JIKOOK NIP-SLIPS

THE BODY ROLLS

THE TATTOOS---

THE SUBTLE “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

I LOVED IT and it gave me such a strong throwback to NOT TODAY.

#7. UGH!

This is CYPHER_pt3 Killer, CYPHER pt. 4, TEAR & DDAENG’s lovechild.

This song is the Rap Line going like: “THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED TO TRY ME (AGAIN) AND IMMA GIVE THESE BITCHES A CYPHER.

BITCHES LOVE CYPHERS.”

#8. 00.00 (Zero o’ Clock)

When I saw that we were having another Vocal Line unit song the first thing I kept praying for was: “PLEASE don’t let this be another Truth Untold...”

Because I absolutely HATED the hypocrisy that came out of this fandom ESPECIALLY the toxic Solo Stans who did nothing but hype up their faves while shitting on other members (I will never forgive those who went so far as to defame and even act as if Jimin wasn’t part of the Vocal Line, ya’ll are still trash for that).

But I gotta say Zero o’ Clock was totally something I can see them enjoying while performing. Despite, of course, the song talking about hardships and finding a new way to be happy throughout the tough times even when you don’t feel like smiling.

I liked it, the vibes are a bit like “2,3″ and “Magic Shop”. A song for HEALING.

#9. Friends (VMIN sub-unit)

VMIN

SOULMATES FOREVER.

I also LOVED that they added the voice messages Jimin & Tae used to leave each other since their recording schedules were different and they didn’t see each other. That was such a nice touch. T_T

That little “Hello my Alien” .... that made me emotional. I kept imagining those mischievous kids running around playing pranks on the other members, like that one time they made Hobi fall off the chair and got chased by him XD ...*SOBS*

#10. Inner Child (Taehyung’s solo)

All the time I kept listening to this song I kept imagining Taehyung sitting in a park next to his Younger Self, like the way a father sits with their youngest son and talks to them about life. What to expect, what will change and how to go about these changes.

Really heartfelt song.

#11. Moon (Jin’s solo)

Just like Tae’s song, “Moon” makes me thinking of all those moments when Jin kept doing his “Heart Event” where he kept pulling out hearts out of nowhere. Each time more clever than the first, just to show ARMY how much he loves us.

I wonder all of a sudden, do you really know yourself? Do you know how pretty you are? I will orbit you I will stay by your side I will become your light All for you 

This part in particular makes me think of Jin up on stage staring at a stadium full of bright little stars that are in reality Army Bombs.

#12. Respect (Namgi Unit-song)

Fave verse from this song is:

“Re-spect”, it’s literally looking again and again Looking again and again and you’ll see faults But despite of that you still want to look

And the fact that you have two members of different ages (Hyung/Donsaeng), in a sort of conversation that goes back and forth between what the real meaning of “RESPECT” is and how people throw the word around, even those who speak ill of others behind their backs.

And were they talking in Satoori in the end??? That was nice XD

#13. We are Bulletproof: the Eternal

Throw stones at me We don’t fear anymore We are we are together bulletproof (Yeah we have you have you) Even if winter comes again Even if I’m blocked off, I will still walk We are we are forever bulletproof (Yeah we got to heaven)

#14. Outro: EGO (Jhope’s Solo)

EGO is Jhope and Jhope is EGO in all it’s glory.

Like “Just Dance” i like the contrast how in EGO he’s doing a back-track to his younger self, how he used to dance to prove something TO OTHERS, where as now that he’s older he just accepts that everything that happened is just part of life. So he’s a happier now doing what he loves BECAUSE he loves to dance.

#15. ON (feat. Sia)

....WHY?

Like... I don’t wanna be THAT BITCH and drag nobody, but like... was this really necessary?

I mean atleast Nicki Minage and Halsey had their own parts that they owned like the bad bitches that they are.

But like...

Yeah, Imma stop right here.

[yarart4ever]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HAMILTON ARRIVED ON DISNEY+ A FEW DAYS AGO WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!?????

as you couldn't tell, I am IN LOVE with Hamilton! the musical got me into discovering the musical fandom! sure I was in love with Hairspray and musicals in general but Hamilton was my first actual music obsession!

this is the LIVE SHOW! just recorded professionally! and Imma do my usual review on it! :3

-lol king george's intro at the beginning! XD

-WHO ELSE BOPPED AND GOT EXCITED DURING THE FIRST SONG IN ACT I: ALEXANDER HAMILTON!?

-I like how the crowd is so respectful to the performers and only laughs and claps when necessary!

-the dance choreography! *chefs kiss* perfecto!

-YO! the actors for John Laurens/Philip, Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson and Hercules Mulligan/ Maddison ARE. FINE! they. are. DADDIES! PERIODT!

-okay but like... the actresses for Angelica and Peggy are also pretty fine! like.. UwU WIFEYS!

-Angelica~, (work, work) Eliza~ and PEGGY! the schuyler sisters~! sorry I had to! TvT

-ANGELICA. IS. A QUEEN! PERIODTTTT!!

-lol everything that comes out of King george's mouth is gold! XD

-RIGHT HAND MAN IS A BOP OH MY GOD! (O///o///O)

-aw, Helpless is so wholesome I love it! <3

-okAY BUT SATISFIED IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND IT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE HAMILTON FANDOM! I KNOW THE SONG WORD FOR WORD ISTG-

-lmao who else died at raise a glass reprise cuz... XD it got me!

-WAIT FOR IT IS MY SECOND FAVORITE SONG!! (>///o///<) but like show me mother theodosia pls! T^T

-"I'm a general! WEEEE"  Charles Lee~  best quote by far!

-  the way! John Laurens! looks at Alexander! jesus why does he have to be so attractive!?

-damn Alexander got daddy issues! O_O

-that would be enough almost made me cry what??

-EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S VERY HOT FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!... wait that's not the lyrics..

-damn! dying is easy, but living is harder... that hit different! :'(

-THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!! HOLY THAT SONG SLAPSSSS!!

-oml Hercules Mulligan's solo (O///_///O) and he sticks his tongue out too! he's a aggressive top hottie and I am living for it!!!

- what comes next was totally foreshadowing for when Trump becomes president. like, "when your people say they hate you, don't come crawling back to me"! like yo! foreshadowing or what??

-aw dear theodosia! my third favorite song! you know, ever since I heard this I wanted to name my child theodosia so that I could sing her this song as a lullaby.

-NO!!! JOHN LAURENS MY HUSBAND!!! T^T </3 I knew he was gonna die anyway cause I've listened to the sundtrack many times but still! and Alexander was so happy singing about his son and then he hears about John's death I'm- :'( I almost cried again during that song... you can probably tell that I love John Laurens..

-NON STOP THO!! LIKE WHAT!?! THIS SONG WAS AWESOME IN THE SOUNDTRACK AND IT'S MORE AWESOME NOW THAT I'M SEEING IT AND SINGING ALONG!! (>///O///<)

~~intermission~~

-okay okay, act II! I'm ready!! give. me. that. tea!

-THOMAS JEFFERSON! HOLY SH!T HE'S HOT!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!

-OH! AND HE DOES THE KISS!! excuse me while I faint of fangirling...

-aw, poor Maddison is sick. lol corona?? I'm telling y'all they knew what was gonna happen in 2020! like even John wanted to help end black slavery and then there was that george floyd situation now and just... foreshadowing all over! :T

-HOLY CRAP YO THERE'S AN ACTUAL RAP BATTLE!! XD WHAAAATT??? like Jefferson and Hamilton got them mics, they be all up in each other's face roasting each other like bro!

-"turn around, bend over I'll show you where my shoe fits!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! GET ROASTED JEFFERSON BAM WHAT??

- lmao why the fnck do they have an grown a$$ man playing a 9 year old?? XD

-okay, I love the sister dynamic for Angelica and Eliza! they're so cute! and I like how no one questions that even though their races are different they're still related. and it bothers me that people nitpick about that. like leave them alone, they are sisters! periodt!

-oh no it's say no to this... I hate this song... I can't believe Hamilton had an affair with someone he doesn't even know! who cares if she's hot?? you're MARRIED!

-and wait... ain't that the actress who played Peggy in the last act?? sheesh no wonder she's so attractive!

-look at this dude saying "lord show me how to say no to this, I don't know how to say no to this"! LIKE BOI! just say no! tf?? it doesn't matter if she's a fncking model! if I was married to a kind hearted, gentle and just generally an amazing person Like Eliza, and a woman pulled me in their bed and said "stay~" I would've  been like "HAHA nope! peace out my guy, I'm already taken thank you very much and they do it to me better than you ever did! periodt!" and I would leave. it's that easy!

-"and her bodies screaming hell yes" BOI IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR D!CK IN YOUR PANTS AND GO HOME ALEXANDER I SWEAR TO FnCKING ALLAH......

-and he fncked up... that's it... I'm done!! Deuses! *gives peace sign and leaves*

-no one else was in the room? okay we getting hype now! XP

-damn Aaron Burr is a great dancer! XD

-oh sh!t oh sh!t there's another rap battle! same people too... everyone take cover! seriously this is not a drill!

-damn! okay did not hear this yet?? uhm so.... Hamilton snapped. and not the good type of snapped too... the moment he was given a opportunity to speak he literally shouted "YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND!" and when I tell you I shook....

-"daddy's callin'.." oKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WRONG DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU??

-lol when Burr came on stage and started singing, Jefferson was so confused he was like "bruh the hell did you come from??" and I died! XD

-oh sh!t Burr and Jefferson are joining forces- LOOK OUT EVERYONE AS THEY BRING THE THUNDER!

-YO THE RAPPING IN THIS SONG IS LIKE WOWZAH! LIKE BARS BRO! :D LIKE FnCKING M&M IS QUAKING!

-"sir, I don't know what you heard but WHATEVER IT IS.... Jefferson started it.." LMFAO ALEX I SWEAR TO GOD XD

-one last time oh no I'm scared this song is gonna make me cry isn't it??

-YEP I WAS RIGHT! I'M CRYING NOW! GREAT!

-George Washington's voice is so powerful oh my lord... and oop! he's crying too! also great! :'D

-my hEART T^T-

-King George Istg STOP! XD

-also yay, I like how they used a woman for the guard/right hand man to the king! as a feminist... I approve UwU

-who else flinched when the king started laughing........ because I did....

-"sit down John you FAT MOTHER FnCKER!" oop... was not expecting that!

-NO ALEX DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE JOINING FORCES YOU'RE DEAD IF YOU TELL THEM THAT- aaaaaaaand you told them... smart.. real smart -_-

-okay but Thomas' reaction was even more funny on screen then in the sound track X'D

-welp... now Burr's gonna tell everybody.. oh wait no.. ALONG with Jefferson and Maddison... good job, Alexander..

-holy sh!t the reynolds pamphlet! he actually wrote it down?? I mean I knew this happened but STILL! WHAT THE FnCK, HAMILTON?!?

-Jefferson is getting to hype for this I swear XD

-OH CRAP ANGELICA IS HERE!

-"all the way from London? DAYUM!" that's me!

-damn, work it, King George! XP

-YEAH DAMN RIGHT HIS POOR WIFE ELIZA DIDN'T DESERVE THIS! >:(

-aw man, Burn hit's different! especially when you catch your ex cheating on you. if that ever happens, LISTEN TO THIS SONG! trust me!

-I feel so bad for her.. :(

-Philip saying "the scholars say I got the same virtuosity and brains as my pops, the ladies say that's not where the resemblance stops~" MADE ME DIE! LIKE ON THE SPOT! NO JOKE!

-the ladies are getting hype for Philip and honestly I CAN SEE WHY! HE'S A DADDY! DUNNO! UwU

-OOF! BEEF!

-he got shot AGAIN!?!

-he dies AGAIN!?!

-WHY DOES THIS HANDSOME BOI KEEP DYING?? LET HIM LIVE BRO!! T^T

-poor Eliza...

-oh god please no not it's quiet uptown! Imma cry again!

-oop... and now I'm crying again... ain't that fun! :'D

-the way they held hands at the end! T^T be still my heart!

-DAYUM! Hamilton chose JEFFERSON over Burr! oof, that's gotta sting!

-"you know what we can change that, you know why?" me: why? "because I'm the president.." me: *blushes and sweats*.... uh.. ahem... welp, that's enough convincing for me you got it sir!  I am so sorry... TvT

-oh no they about to duel! oh sh!t oh sh!t! I'm scared!

-lol A. Ham! XD I'm sorry I just find that so funny! HAM! AHA do I look like a Christmas meal to you?? lmao

-he's... HE'S AIMING HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY! BURR HOLD UP DON'T SHOOT DON'T-

-... he shot Hamilton...

-seriously Burr??

-Eliza has been through many heartbreaks right now..

-oh this is my 5th favorite song. who lives who dies, who tells your story... I'm gonna cry again, aren't I?

-yep! definitely just cried! that song always hits home for me..

I love this musical so much! no words can describe how much it means to me. so I suggest you listen to the soundtrack yourself, if you haven't and tell me how you feel about it. c:

[featuristicfilm]

Movies of Fall/Winter 2019 (and 2020) that I’m really excited to see

With awards season kicking in, the movie release slate is about to bring us some incredible pieces of cinema. There are many films this year that sound fun, interesting, profound and promising so here is a shortened list of the ones that get me giddy with most anticipation. TOP 5 let’s go! (and a few honourable mentions)

5. Lucy in the Sky (Noah Hawley, December 6th, 2019, UK)

Randomly stumbling upon its trailer on Youtube, I was surprised as to why I haven’t heard anything about this film at all because it actually looks super intriguing. Even though the notion of a space movie can feel fairly worn-out, and there is only so much originality you can bring to that kind of concept, Lucy in the Sky looks like it’s going to be a completely shifted take on space dynamics and exploration. In fact, it seems it’s going to be a story fully centred around one character’s individual, self-reflective, very personal journey, with space acting only as a narrative device that creates the background, rather than it being at the forefront of the film’s events. Natalie Portman seems completely in her shoes in this trope of a study of a character who’s deeply damaged and emotionally transformed by whatever trials she undergoes. The trailer is put together so perfectly as well. It tells just enough information for us to understand what is the movie’s premise while also creating a dramatic and suspenseful energy. Also, to me the imagery feels very grounded and serious but also kind of weird, daring and eccentric in some shots, so if the creators managed to balance a kind of art-house approach with some epic, grandiose visual elements it is going to be one hell of a film. To be fair, I was kind of excited just ‘cause it’s Natalie Portman but the more I think about the story the more interesting and promising it sounds. Unfortunately, it comes out October 4th which means its going to have a biiiiit of a competitor in the box-office in the form of Joker.

4. Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi, January 3rd, 2020, UK)

This one exhibits several traits that make the film very enticing. First of all, of course, the subject matter. I think it’s fair to say that a little boy interacting with Adolf Hitler in the shape of an imaginary friend is as crazy and amusing an idea as it gets. And, of course, many of us have our understanding and reaction towards the people and events of the WW2 era but to have that portrayed in a comedy genre is definitely going to cast a whole new light on the subject, at least as seen on the big screen. This will most likely be a story exploring harsh realism through imagination and fantasy but also through the earnest and innocent eyes of a child and it will likely be a surprising take and not what anyone expects it to be. Due to many reasons, it is, obviously, going to be a widespread conversation piece and for that alone I have to see it. The other thing that perfectly complements the idea of this project, is the man himself, Taika Waititi. I don’t think a better combination between the material and the creator can emerge because it is hard to imagine someone else taking on such a bold proposition. He’s just the type of writer and director that is so unique in style and taste that you just believe anything he makes is going to turn out special in one way or another, and having creative will and freedom and integrity might be exactly what made this whole thing possible in the first place. Plus Waititi himself is playing Hitler which, I’d imagine, just raises the scale of humour and energy and dynamics of the whole piece. 

3. Jumanji: The Next Level (Jake Kasden, December 13th, 2019, UK)

I know, a not so popular of a choice. Compared to the way every other film is awaited based on their technical and creative merits, with this one I am so genuinely eager to experience the fun. After all the amusement Jumanji: Into the Jungle brought to the franchise, I don’t see why anybody wouldn’t be excited about this next instalment. I absolutely loved that film, it was so so so funny and entertaining! The story was really great because not only did it bring that fantasy and adventure aspect once again but also the way the avatar/game player narrative approach was incorporated was so unique. So, after seeing the trailers for this sequel, it sparked even more excitement to see how else can they possibly spin that concept. With that in mind, bringing in Danny DeVito and Danny Glover, well regarded comedic figures and over all talents, to the mix is genius. Them trapped in the bodies of Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart is, honestly, a hilarious thought and having old guys interact with the other teenage friends and deal with challenges in the desert, jungle, mountain tops will be no less than a thrilling journey. I think this is going to be just the right film to kind of step back from all the serious and deep dramas that will be in full motion for Oscar season at the time, and switch to some good-old light-hearted cinema. With holidays coming up during its release (December 13th) - nothing better than to go see a fun family movie. And if the playfulness and humour combined with the fond spirit of the story lands at least the same way as it did with the previous film, it’s going to win over people’s hearts and probably the box-office. Can’t wait to just fully enjoy the action and immerse myself in the wonder of this adventure all over again!

2. Joker (Todd Philips, October 4th, 2019, UK)

I have to admit, while initially I was very interested in this new iteration of Joker purely on a general movie-goer level, it was maintained and gradually piqued as time went on largely due to everyone talking about it so much. The sheer amount of hype and anticipation this announcement has managed to create is baffling. Every film coverage outlet, magazine, blog was discussing it. And maybe it’s just that I follow a lot of superhero genre loving people and maybe the idea of this film, in fact, doesn’t concern the general viewer as much, still it has kept many eagerly waiting. The thing that gives it an edge, though, is the fact that this is not simply going to be your general superhero action blockbuster but rather an intense psychological drama reflecting on certain societal issues applied to a familiar mythology. The character everyone knows as a rival to Batman here seems to be a troubled man, beaten down literally, as well as emotionally due to social injustice and his own mental complications. Therefore, this film will probably not rely on epic showdowns and comic tropes as much but actually will give the concept of an ‘origin story’ a different meaning. It’s exciting that DC took it upon themselves to make a bold and creatively charged version of their beloved character, and with Joaquin Phoenix as the lead and Todd Philips as director I think they can be confident about their vision. Whether it is going to be received well or not, that’s the question. While it did already receive heaps of acclaim, including the Golden Lion in the Venice Film Festival, the early audience reviews are quite widely mixed. Nonetheless, it is very intriguing. I have to say, it’s shaping out to be one of those films, and performances, in particular, that have the ability to stay in the minds of the viewers long after. Not long to wait now and we’ll finally see if it lives up to what it set out for. ‘Cause let me tell you, the standard’s high, for sure.

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, November 29th, 2019, UK)

For the longest, this film and Joker were up to par for the number one place on my list of the most awaited movies of the rest of year. Every trailer amped up the excitement so much more and, ultimately, when I felt that I could’t stop thinking about Knives Out, counting days ‘till it’s release, I knew which one has won me over. No surprise, though. I absolutely love whodunnits!!! There’s just a certain thrill to a mystery or a detective style film that cannot be found anywhere else. There’s always so much room for exploration of characters and narratives and the story can take so many directions. If a screenplay for a murder mystery is done right, and all the twists and turns are unexpected and smartly placed, it’s just the best. I also love the interactive aspect of it. Even though I know I can’t change the way it all plays out, I have the ability to have my own reasoning and conclusions that I can apply in my head as the events role out. So with this film I was instantly hooked. Chris Evans’ attachment to the project definitely helped me discover it, though. I’m a huge fan of his and I was curious already to see what kind of role he is about to take on next after the culmination of his journey as Captain America in the MCU. Since I find him to be a very intelligent actor, I think I can trust his judgement on what kind of material is interesting to explore and what kind of people are worth collaborating with. That in mind, this cast looks absolutely incredible! Some really experienced ‘veterans’ in Toni College, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer, a big big star Daniel Craig, as well as some less known but promising names such as Ana de Armas and Katherine Langford, for example. And that’s just to name a few… Wow. With the nature and genre of the story, given it’s a suspenseful mystery but with a comedic flare, a good ensemble of performers is crucial, as is their dynamic. Hopefully, writer/director Rian Johnson has managed to create a rich, powerful and unique film that will entertain and won’t disappoint. I do believe that will be the case, as that much talent on screen and behind the camera is usually a recipe for success.

If not for the short list… I have so many other films that have caught my attention and that will absolutely have me in the cinema seat on opening night. These include Bombshell whose team is worth an applause for that amazingly well put teaser trailer; Just Mercy, for a true story that will no doubt have an impact on me and for what seem to be astounding performances by the lead cast; and Marriage Story because it will make me cry… Stories about family, love and relationships always hit close home, this one might break my heart but there’s pain and joy in life all the time, I look forward to seeing the often difficult reality reflected on screen.

[asdamagicbiscuits]

Theatre Highlights 2019

My Top 11 Theatre Highlights and Moments of 2019 (in no particular order other than roughly chronological.)

Let's get stuck in!

Panto at the Palladium

So my first theatre trip of the year saw me head off to Panto land at the Palladium to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was great to see Danielle Hope on stage again and she was the perfect Snow White. Massive shoutout to Simeon Dyer who was ace as one of the Dwarfs in the show, it’s not everyday you get to see your pal on stage in their West End Debut, he did a brilliant job. The Palladium always delivers fantastic Pantos and I’m excited to see what their next one is!

Book Of Mormon

So Book Of Mormon was again one of those shows I wasn’t rushing to see, that is until Luke George went into the company. I had heard a lot of things about it and I was worried as I had been told if you get easily offended that I wouldn’t like it. I saw it and loved it. It was nuts and very tongue in cheek humour. Turn It Off is one of my favourite numbers in the show, the company are fantastic in it! Tom Xander as Elder Cunningham is pure magic. No other way I can describe his performance. He’s so cheeky and mischievous, the PERFECT Cunningham. Paired with Dom Simpson as Elder Price they are a dream team. You and Me (but mostly me) is such a joy to watch. It was also so lovely to watch Luke and see him on stage again. He is as brilliant as ever!! The Book of Mormon is playing at the Prince of Wales Theatre in London’s West End and it’s also on tour too!!!

Cursed Child - Year Three

I think I said this in last years post but Cursed Child combines two of my biggest loves Harry Potter and Theatre. The Year Three company were exceptional and I saw a huge array of covers. Martin Johnson, Danny Dalton, April Hughes, Jordan Bamford, Leah Haile and Susan Lawson Reynolds. I can remember all the shows when I got to see them and the little details of their performances. Also as #KeepTheSecrets is over I’m gonna talk about April as Delphi. I ADORE April as Delphi. Like hands down my favourite interpretation of the role. Delphi is so sweet and then BAMN. That switch is flicked and her true intentions come out but even then April brought such a warmth to her that I found myself really sympathising with Delphi. She’s just a very misunderstood character and I just wanted to give her a hug. On the other side April’s interpretation of Myrtle is ICONIC!!! That giggle she does in the moment after Scorpius ask if everything’s going to be okay? And Albus replies going of course it is. Pure brilliance!! Also I have to mention the fact I FINALLY got to see James McGregor as Draco. It happened gang. I don’t know how I managed to get to see him three times, still blows my mind as I was worried I wouldn’t get to see him once but I did. It actually happened. ‘Twas beyond brilliant in every sense of the word and well worth the wait, exceptional performances!

Shitfaced Shakespeare

Another fantastic season for those boozey Bard loving beans! The Taming of the Shrew and Hamlet in London and Midsummer Nights Dream on tour. It’s always a joy to see them perform on stage. For those of you who read last years Highlights I can confirm that I broke the curse. I got to see Saul Marron Compère THREE times!!! He also was the drinker for the show of Midsummer I saw in my hometown on the tour. It was lovely to revisit my first show I saw them do, plenty of laughs and so much fun! Bring on next season for more Shakespeare, laughs and most importantly - booze! 😜 haha

Venice Preserved/The Provoked Wife

Now my theatre highlights wouldn’t be complete without me seeing a show Natalie Dew was in. This year I got to see her in Venice Preserved and The Provoked Wife both at the RSC in Shakespeare land (Stratford Upon Avon). Both shows were absolutely fantastic and I gotta mention Sarah Twombly who really stood out in The Provoked Wife as Mademoiselle, stunning performance! I adored Venice Preserved so much I saw it twice! It was gritty, edgy and the whole production value was fantastic! It was also so good to see Nat in such a different role, it’s not everyday you get to see your stagey fav play a dominatrix. She was so badass, strong and the moment at the end of the play with the look the gave another character, I’m getting chills just thinking about it. Perfection!

Edinburgh Fringe

Each year my trip to Ed Fringe just gets better and better and this year was no different. I managed two trips this year and saw a whole host of different shows which were all incredible and I got meet some lovely people, both leafleting and chatting to a few of the actors before the show. I’ll leave a link to my Ed Fringe post so if anyone wants to check out what I saw give it a read - here. Massive shoutout to the Bodily Functions gang as they were super lovely, Friendsical cast, David Colvin was so lovely too, the Shitfaced Shakespeare and Showtime lot. I could go on. But I’m buzzing to see what Ed Fringe 2020 will bring!

The Indian Queen

When in France, go to the Opera? So this still links with theatre but I want to talk about Pierrefonds, it’s my blog so I can do what I want 😜. Firstly BIG shoutout to my friend Sej, the only person mad enough to agree to go to France with me to visit a castle and to see an Opera. So firstly Pierrefonds. I still can’t believe I got to visit the castle where they filmed Merlin. It’s been on my Bucket list for many years now so thrilled I finally got to tick it off. It’s a gorgeous place in the cutest little village ever, genuinely would move there if there was more theatre. 100% will be going back again and would recommend to anyone about going. I had a great time! The other part of my trip saw me go and watch my very first Opera, The Indian Queen! The Opera House in Lille is stunning, so so beautiful. Now I can’t comment on what happened at the beginning as I was raging at the subtitles being in French, it wasn’t until it was 10/15 minutes in that I realised it was all sung and spoken in English. (yep. I am that dumb and yes it took me that long 🙈) I loved how they had the screens move around in the background with the opera on. It had been prefilmed and all the actors were in costume whereas the actors were all in blacks performing it in front of the screens live. As a first venture into the world of Opera, wasn’t what I was expecting at all but I really loved it. It was also so great to see James McGregor on stage again too!! He’s very good!!

Fiddler On The Roof

Wow. Just wow. I was completely blown away by Fiddler On The Roof, the set was gorgeous and how the company went through the auditorium felt so natural. You really felt like you were in Anatevka and part of the community. The whole company were phenomenal!! Andy Nyman as Tevye delivered one of the best performances I have ever seen from any West End Lead. His vocals and comic timing were on point!!! Maria Friedman as Golde played really well opposite Andy’s Tevye, they are a formidable duo. I’m so happy I was able to see them on together. Molly Osbourne as Tzietel and Joshua Gannon as Motel really stood out, stunning performances. Hands down the best show I saw this year without a doubt and I wish I could go back in time and relive it!!

Mary Poppins

Now Mary Poppins is so very dear to me. The movie is an absolute classic, a timeless piece but I had never seen it live on stage before. I had my tickets booked since January when they went on sale and it did not disappoint when I finally got to see it in November. Charlie Stemp was a brilliantly charming Bert and Zizi Strallen was, excuse the pun, ‘Practically Perfect in every way’ as Mary. I sobbed my way through the show and when Zizi flew up over the audience at the end of the show I was in bits. The best way I can describe it is when you love something so much and your just full of nostalgia and emotion and that’s how it came out. Step In Time, Feed The Birds And Practically Perfect were all highlights for me. I have so much love for the whole company for delivering a phenomenal show and I can’t WAIT to return to Cherry Tree Lane once again next year. Although hopefully I will be able to get through the show without crying next time. Haha. Mary Poppins is currently playing at The Prince Edward Theatre in London’s West End.

Dear Evan Hansen

Now I had to be the only person in theatreland who wasn’t rushing to get tickets or proper hyped for it. It was one of those shows for me which I was like - I’ll see it eventually but I’ll let the rush of people pass and I’ll go when it’s all died down. Then the cast got announced and I was okay. I need to see it and I need to see it in previews as I need to see Rupert Young on stage again. Thankfully one of my best friends Johanna was desperate to see it when she was over in November and she managed to sort us tickets. (Thanks Chummy. You’re the best. Love you) It generally was such a phenomenal experience, the audience was so quiet and the only sounds you could hear were the quiet sniffs of people crying. You could hear a pin drop and I don’t believe I will ever experience anything like that ever again. That’s great Anne but why has it made it into your highlights? Don’t worry. I’m getting to that gang 😜 haha. The whole cast were phenomenal. Sam Tutty was flawless as Evan, I connected immediately with him. I was sold and invested from the beginning. The fact there is only 8 people on stage for the whole show blows my mind. Like WHAT?! Outstanding performances from all. In particular Mr Rupert Young as Larry. Now the only thing I knew about the show was that You Will Be Found closes the first act. That’s all I knew, didn’t read up on it or listen to the soundtrack before hand. I went in completely blind! Now You Will Be Found starts and I can hear people crying and I’m sat there thinking. This is great. I haven’t cried at this. Brilliant. The thing which broke me and had me sobbing was when Rupert Young broke down and cried during You Will Be Found. That is what got me and I can relate so much to it. How I view it is that Larry has delayed grief and that happened to me personally so it really struck a chord with me. I’m basically a convert and this is a piece of theatre everyone needs to see and I can see it running for a very long time in London. Dear Evan Hansen is playing at the Noel Coward Theatre in London’s West End and if you haven’t already, GO BUY A TICKET!!

Rage But Hope

I was very lucky to be able to catch this show at Ed Fringe this year so I was thrilled I was able to make it in to see it again during its London run in November. I stand by everything I said before and it was fantastic to see the development of the piece, which is a current and important issue we all should focus on. The whole company delivers stunning performances and I adored the addition of Matt’s characters monologue. I felt it tied together what he said in a conversation with James earlier in the piece and it gave much more depth to his character. The Layla’s List monologue remained one of my favourite moments in the play and goes to show the importance younger generations have and that they are far wiser than their years suggest so not to under estimate them. Let’s preserve this world for many more generations to come. The writing is stunning and hats off to Stephanie Martin for an incredibly well written play. The scene at the end of the play was new for the London run and I felt it really hammered home the message. Tell the truth. Act Now!

So that pretty much wraps up 2019’s Theatre and what a year it was.

2020 - a New Year, a New Decade and I can confirm a lot more Theatre adventures.

Thanks for reading, make sure to come back next year for my 8th Theatre Highlights (that is MAD!!) to find out what I got up to!

Until next time, cheerio!

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Spider-Man Far From Home (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the weekend after the movie’s release in the U.K, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie do not read on until you do because there are some rather juicy spoilers here.

MCU Ad Campaign:

This is why I feel Kevin Feige needs to have full control over Spider-Man because he is a master of teasing us with enough in the trailers to get us excited for the movie.

Even with Avengers: Endgame which kept so much secret in the trailers built up that hype and anticipation, okay yes it was the culmination of 11 years of movies and the second part of what was one of the greatest cinematic cliffhangers in history, but even so there were so many theories and speculation about what could happen that it obviously helped with that juggernaut release.

But the issue with Spider-Man: Far From Home is the trailers and promotion just made the movie seem like your average superhero flick. It was necessarily the case of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Suicide Squad where so much was shown in the trailer that wasn’t in the final movie, but there wasn’t enough to speculate on or build up the hype unless you’re already a comic-book fan and want to see another Spider-Man movie and know that in the comics Mysterio is a villain so want to see what happens with him here.

I’d say the introduction of the multiverse may have been what both Feige and Pascal thought could be a key plot point to draw in the hype, but that was proven just to be a facade. It was only really mentioned in that scene that everyone has seen in the trailers and there was never a time in the trailers where I thought “Yes that is what everyone will talk about”.

With Thor: Ragnarok for example, it was penned as a fun 80s style buddy movie and that is what the trailers showed, but then you add in Hela and that shot of her destroying Mjolnir as well as the “He’s a friend from work” scene and that’s what made it one of the most watched trailers of all time.

I said in my non-spoiler review that I fear for this movie’s performance if we are to base mainstream audience interest on watching the trailers, I still feel that even though the two times I have now seen the movie the theatres have been relatively full.

Characters:

Spider-Man:

As I said in my non-spoiler, Tom Holland continues to prove why he was such a perfect casting choice for Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Not only does he still look like a teenager so you believe he should still be at school, he has so much charisma and charm that you can’t not like the guy.

I loved when he was at Aunt May’s support centre and was, as May said, a little stiff but it was believable.

Let’s face it, this is a guy who is still a teenager, he is still dealing with the average student problems like fancying a girl and possibly getting good grades, although at Midtown it’s a wonder any of them can get good grades with those teachers, we’ll get to them. But also Peter is dealing with the added stress not only of being Spider-Man but the aftershock of what happened in Endgame both in terms of “The Blip” and Tony’s death.

It was interesting to me that they were kind of going down the Iron Man 3 route of Peter having PTSD from “The Blip” but that quickly turned simply into either guilt or grief over Tony’s sacrifice and the responsibility everyone is now putting on his shoulders. With great power comes great responsibility, that saying is echoed throughout this movie in particular.

I also really like the Spidey suits in the movie, because there were so many it was like a Spidey fashion show at one point.

I loved the fact he kept the Iron Spider suit and especially seeing it pixelating in that container was really cool. Also the upgraded suit he was given which is a mainstay of the character at this point.

Then there’s the return of the original Spidey sweatsuit during one of Mysterio’s illusions which was a nice little nod and a reference to the Emperor’s New Clothes with who the world has built him up to be compared to how he feels on the inside.

Also, his new red and black suit that he created in the Stark Industries jet was a fantastic sequence. Not only was it crystal clear that they were trying to make Peter resemble Tony in that scene, but it was done so effortlessly and it was really fun once again to see someone play with the Holo chamber.

But in terms of my negatives, because I do have negatives for all these characters, I cannot believe he was that stupid that he gave away EDITH to Mysterio, not because Mysterio was an obvious bad guy because he wasn’t, but because EDITH was such a useful device and Peter apparently doesn’t have KAREN anymore so he needs some form of AI assistant.

I did however really enjoy the onscreen partnership of Jake Gyllenhaal and Tom Holland, you can tell off-screen the two really got on and it resonates on screen.

There was also a really stupid moment when he’s facing Hydro-Man and he wears that mask to try concealing his identity from his classmates, despite the fact that he is wearing the same clothes his classmates know he is wearing so why didn’t anyone attempt to put 2 + 2 together. I mean it’s implied MJ may have but who knows.

With the Elementals as well, as much as I think they are brilliant antagonists visually, and of course in this instance weren’t real but may still exist, I don’t see how Spider-Man can combat any of them because his synthetic webbing would have no effect on water, fire, sand or air. It was obviously Mysterio’s perfect plan to make himself the hero, but the fact no one thought to question that Spider-Man was less use than Black Widow would have been in that fight really bugged me.

I did like him trying to court MJ, I thought his six-step plan was well thought out and the rivalry between him and Brad over MJ was also refreshing to see in a superhero movie.

We’ll talk about the post-credits scene further down but that ending scene before the credits of him doing Spidey’s traditional scout of the city was a great way to end the movie. The main reason I love playing the Spider-Man games is simply to swing through the city and will gladly spend a lot of time doing it just to explore. Also if that’s not the Oscorp building he swung through than it’s the biggest misdirect in a Marvel movie.

Mysterio:

By far my favourite Jake Gyllenhaal role, I have never been a massive fan of his as he and his sister have simply been actors I gloss over. But Mysterio was a very comical villain for me in terms of looks yet Gyllenhaal manages to make the suit and the fishbowl look awesome.

I loved how he was so committed to his role as a parallel world superhero, you honestly believed he was a good guy right up until the moment when the illusion fades.

Speaking of illusions, these are potentially the best use of visual effects I have seen since Doctor Strange. I haven’t seen the movie in 3D but I was almost tempted to the second time just to experience the splender of how the visuals looked. They were literally effects ripped from the comics, everything came together and it was magic.

When he was revealed as a villain and that epic reveal scene of his and his crews master plan, including throwbacks to Captain America: Civil War and the first Iron Man was jaw-dropping. I really appreciate both Feige and  Peter Billingsley who was the actor playing the former Stark Industries scientist turned Beck’s henchman for making it seem like this was the plan overall all those years back. I doubt very much that Feige planned it from Civil War let alone 2008.

However, the ending for Mysterio is where my negatives come in. Not only did Beck turn into a raging child running out of ideas but also the fact they killed him off is something I really can’t get my head around. Vulture, Shocker and Scorpion are all alive and if they want to build a Sinister Six then surely this Mysterio is a likeable candidate, yet now he’s dead. It just reminds me of the likes of Hela and these one-movie villains with so much more potential.

Nick Fury:

I love Samuel L. Jackson, I know I sang his praises during Captain Marvel but he’s just as great here.

I loved the running theme of Peter ghosting him by sending him to voicemail, then eventually when Fury and Peter do meet and there’s the constant interruptions of staff and students that makes him turn and say “If one more person touches that door you and I will be attending another funeral” it was so great and only could be said by Nick Fury.

However, and I’ll get into the reasons more in my post-credits discussion, but with the reveal at the end that the Fury we have seen throughout the movie is in fact Talos the Skrull, there are tells throughout the movie that indicate that which I can’t tell as to if they’re deliberate or accidental.

For instance, during Spider-Man’s first meeting with Mysterio, Fury says “He’s from Earth, just not yours” so why didn’t he say “ours”? Also when he said that appearances can be deceiving I bet that was also a tell that he was the shapeshifting alien.

For that reason, it is hard for me to say that I enjoyed Fury in this movie because the real Nick Fury is only in one small scene at the end of the movie. But Samuel L. Jackson still delivers. Also “bitch please you’ve been to space!” never gets old.

MJ:

Commiserations to Zendaya for not getting Ariel, but at least now she is the girlfriend of Spider-Man so yay. 

I really love Zendaya in this role, I think she brings a much needed grounded modern realism to the role that I feel is needed for the younger female audience of today.

I loved it when she revealed that she always knew Peter was Spider-Man but when he eventually confirmed it she said “Really, because I was only 67% sure”. They really played up the character’s awkwardness and vulnerabilities in this movie which explain why she is such an outcast and how she just seemed to float on by in the first movie.

My one negative is where the character goes now, I think that scene after she found out Peter was Spider-Man was definitely her weakest because she just seemed like a very mopey love interest. But then she’ll have kick-ass scenes like knocking out a drone with a mace.

The ending with her swinging around with Peter was already shown in set photos but it was hilarious to see the final thing, I loved how she kept saying she wouldn’t look down and then kept looking down. Then when they landed and her hair had seemingly grown in weight was very funny.

Happy Hogan:

I am so happy for Jan Favreau being a mainstay in the MCU, you would think that after RDJ left that his entourage would also leave. However, now that Happy is seemingly Spider-Man’s support staff it gives him more reason to be around.

I will say this though, everything you see of Happy in the trailers you pretty much see in the movie itself, with some extended scenes. There are a couple more funnier scenes added in but other than that you’ve seen pretty much everything he does in the movie.

As I said, I loved the recurring gag of “ghosting” Nick Fury, it was interesting in the first instance because I swear up until now Happy and Fury have not actually met before, but now Tony is dead I guess they have some association with each other.

His relationship with Aunt May in the movie was a very sweet and understated coupling in the movie. I actually do see the two of them together and it would be great going forward if they remained in a relationship just to give them both something to do other than support Peter Parker.

It was such a great moment when Peter started designing his suit on the plane and Happy was watching in awe. He saw what the audience was meant to see which was Peter acting like Tony Stark.

I have also enjoyed his progression from Tony’s bodyguard to Spider-Man’s right-hand man. Not only did he come and save Peter from the Netherlands, but also he saved Peter’s school friends and put himself in danger in the process.

I really hope Happy continues to be a part of the MCU, even if it is in the Spider-Man movies but also branching out elsewhere.

Brad:

Hudson from Neighbours is in this movie. For anyone that doesn’t know what I’m on about there was a minor-recurring character a few years ago who was a gay competitive swimmer who became romantically involved with a main character at the time but also got into trouble with the police, this was him and I am so glad to see him still working.

I am unsure if the character was part of the first movie, but I am happy to see him here as he was a great example of how The Blip affected Midtown High.

He did present himself as a bit of a douche but also he did start off simply as a decent guy, it was just that he let his competitiveness for wanting to be with MJ and screwing over Peter get the better of him.

This did cause problems for me as the movie progressed, not only did he become the whistle blower that no one listened to and simply came across as a bitter individual, but also there was never really any resolve to his story after the outburst of questioning why Peter was always disappearing.

Aunt May:

Marisa Tomei continues to be a great and innovative Aunt May. I’m still unsure about having a younger and somewhat hotter Aunt rather than the sweet old lady we are used to but I still say Sally Field in The Amazing Spider-Man movies was my favourite of the bunch.

I am really happy that she set up her charitable rehoming shelter as she has done in the comics and the latest Spider-Man game. Her delivery of when she “blipped back” into existence and the new tenants of her apartment thought she was a ghost or a mistress was hilarious.

I do think May was a bit harsh to Happy, I don’t think she led him on but she clearly invited him to her office and you don’t do that if there’s not something there more than just a summer fling.

I am a fan of the fact that May now knows of Peter being Spider-Man and supporting him in his endeavours, as well as using him to boost support for her homeless campaign.

Maria Hill:

Much like Fury, it is hard to say how well Maria did in this movie because she spent the entire movie as a Skrull. However in terms of Cobie Smulders performance, I am glad she got more screen time than she has done recently.

Although she didn’t have many lines, she had a lot to do action wise. I loved in the climactic battle when she went to the roof with that bazooka because both she and Fury had anticipated Mysterio’s drone being sent to assassinate the two.

Ned:

If I found Ned annoying in Spider-Man: Homecoming, I found him unbearable in this one. Not only are the negative qualities of him from the first movie back in force here, but that added story of Ned and Betty getting into a relationship was simply pointless and made Ned even more unlikeable if possible.

First of all, I don’t care how he defends himself, Ned got a girlfriend and then blew Peter off despite not only being adamant in wanting the two guys to be American bachelors in Europe but also in supposedly being Spider-Man’s “guy in the chair”.

Also, Brad’s jealousy over Peter was understandable and actually good for the movie, Ned being jealous of MJ after she found out about Peter being Spider-Man was just pathetic. Not only because that is the point when he actually tries to help Spider-Man but also because MJ didn’t really need him, no one did.

Teachers:

With the teachers in the movie, I will say I miss Selenis Leyva as physics teacher Monica Warren from the first movie. Not only because her being Latina fit in rather well with the Queens neighbourhood, but also because it was some gender diversity in the ranks.

Here we have the Caucasian Harrington and Mr. Dell who I believe was created for the movie after J.B. Smoove was involved in the Audi commercial with Tom Holland to promote the first movie.

I do agree with Dell about there being no science on the science field trip and this is also why I’d prefer Monica Warren to be there over Harrington, Harrington is a crap teacher. Not only did he not plan ahead with the trip but also his incompetence nearly got a bus-load of students killed. Bearing in mind he was also the teacher responsible during the Washington incident.

Students:

Aside from the students already mentioned, the other students involved in the movie are Betty Brandt, Flash Thompson and Jason Ionello. I thought on the whole the students of Midtown High still continue to be a great and modernly accurate portrayal of Queens in the present day, but also they proved themselves necessary to the movie rather than just clutter in the way.

Post-Credits:

Alright so we have two very juicy post-credits scenes that not only shape the next Spider-Man movie but also the future of the MCU.

The first scene picks up directly where the movie ended and has Peter return MJ to the ground before taking off for some superheroism. However he is then stopped by a breaking news bulletin which was set up by Mysterio and delivered by William Ginter Riva showing a doctored version of events in the climactic battle where apparently Spider-Man was the one orchestrating the drone strike and Mysterio was the hero who Spider-Man killed.

The bulletin then cut to none other than J. Jonah Jameson, returning to the live-action Spider-Man movies portrayed by the one and only J.K. Simmons. My audience cheered at this point because not only is it about time Jameson returned to the movies but to have J.K. reprise the role he is probably most notable for is a delight.

Although here, the Daily Bugle seems to be an online media outlet rather than a newspaper company but for the modern day it works rather well.

However, believing that Peter will one day get a job at the Daily Bugle seems very slim with the reveal that Mysterio identified Spider-Man as Peter Parker, meaning the world now knows Spider-Man’s identity. I want to see the fallout now.

The end-credits scene shows Fury and Hill in a car before shapeshifting into Talos and his wife Soren from Captain Marvel. Talos reports to the real Nick Fury who is in front of the most fake green-screen imaginable as it is revealed he is actually on some form of space-station crewed by Skrulls.

This could be a myriad of things, but my favourite theory is that this is the start of S.W.O.R.D. to become Fury’s new organization after S.H.I.E.L.D.

Overall I rate the movie an 8/10, I’m not going to say it’s a perfect movie but it is a brilliant movie and definitely the movie needed to follow up after Avengers: Endgame.

So that’s my review of Spider-Man: Far From Home, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more Marvel Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[renegade2026]

TOM HARDY SAVES THE DAY (NO, REALLY)

One of the most intense actors of our time agreed to take us on a motorcycle tour of his hometown—and then the day spun way off-script.

ERIC SULLIVAN AUG 7, 2018

We're at the first stop on Tom Hardy’s literal tour down memory lane, and he’s already causing trouble. The caretaker of St. Leonard’s Court, an apartment building in the leafy London suburb of East Sheen, comes out to the driveway to say that a tenant has lodged a noise complaint. Hardy leans back in the saddle of the offending source, a Triumph Thruxton fitted with a not-so-subtle 1200cc engine. “Must be hard for someone who’s home at 3:00 p.m. on a Tuesday doing fuck-all, innit?” he says to the caretaker, who’s already in retreat. Then, overriding his knee-jerk snark: “It won’t happen again.”

“I’m the youngest person to own a flat on this block,” Hardy, forty, tells me, sounding both proud and bemused. He bought the place fifteen years ago, moved out six years later, and now uses it as a crash pad for out-of-town guests. He didn’t choose the location for its social scene, if the few geriatric residents shuffling by are any indication. Rather, he was the prodigal son returned: He grew up in the upper-middle-class community, the only child of Chips, an adman and writer, and Ann, an artist. His parents still live nearby.

“Ready for the five-dollar tour?” he asks. Our plan is to trace the path from what he calls his “privileged bourgeois background” to the upper-upper-class town of Richmond, where he now lives with his wife, actor Charlotte Riley, and their child, his second. (He also has a ten-year-old son with assistant director Rachael Speed.) The journey is short in distance—a little more than two miles—but ultramarathon-long in life experience.

“Behind the Laura Ashley curtains, there was naughtiness and fuckeries!” he begins like an overenthused docent. I point out that’s a line he’s delivered many times to many writers. He shrugs. “It’s easier to say that than to go deep-sea diving into it.” To Hardy, a fiercely private man and a reluctant public figure, the canned story serves the useful purpose of making an unsuspecting person feel like they’re getting to know the real Tom. “Should we fuck off?” he asks as we pull on our gear. Except for the beat-up jeans, his five-foot-nine frame is covered in black, from his helmet to his motorcycle boots. We get on our bikes and fuck off.

Five minutes later, just past the prep school he attended as a boy, Hardy spots a commotion, and we pull over. A woman, blood covering her face, lies faceup, half on the sidewalk and half in the street. A few bystanders are crouched around. As Hardy approaches, he says, “I know her.”

It's Mae, the mother of one of Hardy’s childhood best friends. [Some names have been changed.] He drops to one knee and takes her hand in his. Someone in the crowd tells us that Mae tripped while walking her dog. She’s slipping in and out of consciousness.

“Mae, it’s Tommy,” Hardy says. “Squeeze my hand. Keep talking to us. Can you open your eyes?” She moans. He tries out a joke. “Are you Canadian?” he asks. She manages a word: “No. ” He says, “Not even a little Canadian?” She doesn’t reply. By the time the ambulance arrives, Mae is responding, but barely. Shortly after, her son Albert pulls up on his bicycle. When he sees his mother laid out, he bites his fist. Hardy wraps his arms around his friend, both to comfort him and to keep him at a safe distance.

The paramedics load Mae onto a stretcher, and Hardy asks if they can bring Albert, too, then asks again to make sure they remember. They say yes, but they’ll first check Mae’s vitals.

After the ambulance doors close, Hardy turns his attention back to Albert. “Your mom took a whack to the forehead. But I’m not concerned immediately, ’cause she’s responding better than when we arrived. And ’cause they’re not rushing off. You settle in at the hospital, and then we’ll meet you.” Albert protests, but Hardy stops him. “I’m one of your best mates, and I love you.” He slips money into Albert’s pocket. “Just for now,” he says. As soon as the ambulance leaves, bound for Kingston Hospital, he calls Albert’s wife.

For the half hour we’ve been here, Hardy has not stopped moving. He’s talked himself through each step as if checking off boxes on a crisis to-do list. Suddenly, he turns to me and considers our circumstances. We began the day as writer and subject, but that dynamic dissolved the moment he saw Mae. “There was no interview here,” he says. “We find ourselves in a situation where we needed to put everything on hold.” A smile cracks across his face. “Welcome to my neighborhood. I told you there’s always something to find behind the Laura Ashley curtains.”

Private Tom and Public Hardy: These are the two sides that define him. That his time is split between work life and family life, and that his obligations toward both are sometimes at odds, isn’t unique. However, his steadfast struggle to separate them is; he’d be thrilled if never the two should meet. But they do, with increasing frequency, in ways that are beyond his control.

Public Hardy may be an accomplished actor in the U. S., but in his home country he’s a national treasure. In June, he was awarded the title Commander of the Order of the British Empire, which, while not as prestigious as knighthood, is on the same scale. In February, Glamour UK named him the sexiest man of 2018. Madame Tussauds in London recently displayed his likeness reclining on an oxblood chesterfield couch, one arm perched atop the back cushion like an invitation. (“Cosy up to Tom on his leather sofa and feel his heartbeat and the warmth of his torso in what is surely the hottest seat in town,” hypes the wax museum’s site.) He tells well-worn anecdotes to keep Private Tom concealed, and he’s always on alert.

We meet for the first time the day before the accident, at the Bike Shed, a motorcycle club and café in Shoreditch where, last year, he spent his fortieth birthday. It’s Hardy’s favorite place in London—not surprising, as he’s an investor in the company, which plans to open a location in Los Angeles soon. Every few minutes during our conversation, he nods hello to yet another bearded, inked-up passerby. He’s wearing a loose T-shirt and cargo pants with enough pockets to fit all the world. Brown fuzz dusts the crown of his head. A copper beard stippled with gray blankets the lower half of his face.

He answers my first question—how he’s doing—without missing a beat: “I’m tired.” He’s been working a lot, mostly on Marvel’s Venom (October 5), in which he plays the title role, a reporter named Eddie Brock whose body is hijacked by an alien symbiote. Venom has remained one of Spider-Man’s best-known foes since he first appeared in comic-book form in the late eighties. At times, he’s an outright villain; at others, including in Hardy’s hands, he’s more of an antihero. He can’t discuss the plot, but he says the tone of the movie, directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland), is “dark and edgy and dangerous.”

The three-month shoot, which ended in January, took him to Atlanta, New York, and San Francisco, where the movie is set. “I see America by where the tax breaks are,” he jokes. Next, he headed to New Orleans to play a syphilitic Al Capone in Fonzo, directed by Josh Trank (Chronicle). That crew went hard: nineteen hours a day for six weeks. The day they wrapped, he flew home, threw on a suit, and attended the royal wedding with Riley. (All he’ll say about why they landed the coveted invite is that “it’s deeply private” and “Harry is a fucking legend.”) The work wasn’t the hardest thing; it was, he says, spending such long stretches away from his family.

Yet workwise, Hardy has arrived at what you might call a stakes moment, one that’s twenty years in the making. At the dawn of his career, after landing just two small roles, albeit in big projects—Band of Brothers and Black Hawk Down—he scored his first major part, as the bald, asexual villain in 2002’s Star Trek: Nemesis. But the movie tanked, snuffing buzz over his excellent performance. Five years of forgettable films and a few distinguished stage performances passed before Hardy played lead roles that fully showcased his talents: the homeless drug addict with a heart of gold in the BBC’s Stuart: A Life Backwards (2007), for which he shed nearly thirty pounds, and the most violent inmate in Britain in Bronson (2009), for which he packed on fifteen pounds of muscle.

Physical change is just part of Hardy’s exacting, chameleonlike transformations. “One can embellish with flair or an accent,” he says. “But ultimately you need to ground the character in some form of recognizable truth.” Hardy will talk your ear off about acting theory— Stanislavsky versus Adler, presentation versus representation, the use of clowning and mask work. “I’m a complete geek about it,” he says. But those seams don’t show. At his best, Hardy so thoroughly embodies a character, in both body and spirit, that he all but disappears.

Take a scene from 2015’s The Revenant. Hardy plays Fitzgerald, the coldhearted fur trapper and the target of revenge for Leonardo DiCaprio’s Glass. One night, around a campfire, Fitzgerald makes a veiled threat to a suspicious travel companion. He never raises his voice, but it’s as if he’s ripped out the man’s heart. Hardy’s performance earned him both an Oscar nomination and, after losing a bet with DiCaprio over whether he’d receive such recognition, a tattoo on his right arm that reads leo knows all.

His knack for magnetic unease can inject a blockbuster with edge: Mad Max: Fury Road, Inception, and, most notably, The Dark Knight Rises. But aside from Fury Road, whenever he’s assumed the lead role—Lawless, Warrior, This Means War, The Drop, Locke, Legend, Child 44—the results have come up short critically, commercially, and sometimes both. Venom is Hardy’s most visible role yet.

“Sounds like a lot of pressure, doesn’t it?” he half-jokes. But he says he’s not concerned about box-office returns; as always, he’s consumed with building a good character. He admits he knew little about Venom when he first read the script. “So I spoke to the only person I could really trust in this environment: my older boy.” His comic-book-loving son “was a huge influence on me doing the role.”

Hardy prepped for the movie for more than a year. He undergoes a rigorous process to shape each performance, complete with its own argot. A script is a “case file,” to be “unpacked” via “investigation.” He often begins by using personalities, both real and fictive, as lodestars toward which he guides his portrayal. The voice he developed for Al Capone in Fonzo is based on Bugs Bunny’s; to prove it, he plays me a clip of the raw footage on his phone. Sure enough, he sounds like the cartoon rabbit with a severe case of vocal fry. In Venom, the dual roles of Eddie Brock and Venom reminded him of three wildly different traits of three wildly different people: “Woody Allen’s tortured neurosis and all the humor that can come from that. Conor McGregor—the überviolence but not all the talking. And Redman”—the rapper—“out of control, living rent-free in his head.” Those are not details he revealed to the execs at Sony, which is producing the movie. “You don’t say shit like that to the studio,” he says.

“IF THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST SONY, THAT’S NOT MY FUCKING BUSINESS. IT'S IRRELEVANT.

“If the odds are stacked against Sony, that’s not my fucking business,” Hardy says. “It’s irrelevant.” He burnishes an image of himself as a creative lone wolf, and in the third person no less: “Tom is very mercenary when it comes to work. I cannot give a fuck what the writer, or the director, or Larry in Baltimore thinks about my choices.” (He later clarifies the perspective shift: “Sometimes I talk in the third person because it’s a lot easier to see myself at work as a piece of meat. So when Tommy says he doesn’t give a fuck what you think, it’s only because I give too much of a fuck, and it gets to a point where it stifles me.”) But it’s hard to square his claims of artistic purity with the occasional very non-lone-wolf detail like, “Market research shows that the biggest fan base for Venom is ten-year-old boys in South America.”

If this movie does well, there will be sequels. And if Sony builds its cinematic Spidey universe, Hardy may well appear in those, too. Beyond those commitments, he’s vague about his post-Fonzo plans, most of which don’t involve acting. “What I’d like to do is produce. Write. Direct,” he says. Through his production company, Hardy Son & Baker, he’s working on the second season of Taboo, a moody period drama set in early-1800s London that he stars on and cowrites with his father. The first season was a mixed bag—its premiere ranks as one of the most streamed episodes of any BBC show, but historians criticized its accuracy and U. S. viewers met its FX airing with indifference—yet his stature is such that the BBC green-lighted the second season. He also optioned Once a Pilgrim, a thriller by a veteran of the Parachute Regiment, the elite airborne infantry of the British army; he’s considering directing the adaptation.

Hardy’s future looks rosy. And yet, more than anything, he feels worn down. Physically, sure: He’s walking with a limp. He says he tore his right meniscus on the set of Venom, but he doesn’t know how it happened. “At the end of a job, I normally end up on the side of the road,” he says. “And then carrying the toddler around on my shoulders. . .” He lets loose a two-note cackle. “Things get in the way of looking after yourself.”

But the fatigue is also mental. Maybe it’s because the growing demands of the job, especially the time spent far from his wife and children, are beginning to outweigh its diminishing gratification. When I ask if being forty has changed how he feels about his career, this time he answers in the second person. “You’ve summited Everest. It’s a miracle that you’ve made it anywhere near the fucking mountain, let alone climbed it. Do you want to go all the way back and do it again? Or do you want to get off the mountain and go fucking find a beach?” He tugs his left temple so hard that it looks like the skin might tear. “What is it that draws you to the craft? At this age, I don’t know anymore. I’ve kind of had enough. If I’m being brutally honest, I want to go on with my life.”

After the ambulance leaves with Mae and Albert, Hardy suggests that we stop at a few places on our way to the hospital. Not for my benefit, but for his friend’s. “Albert needs to be alone with his mum and his thoughts,” he says. “He’s going to be taking care of her, so it’s important he pays attention. Sometimes, when there are other people around, that’s hard to do.” Hardy isn’t trying to swashbuckle; he’s thinking of how to best help two loved ones. And, apparently, a guy he just met: Looking me up and down, he says, “We’ve had a bit of a shock ourselves. We could use some sugar.” We set out for a refreshment stand in a nearby park he first came to as a toddler with his mother to paddle around the kiddie pool, and then as a teen with Albert and others to play rugby.

When we arrive, the stand is closed. As we get back on our bikes, a father walks by carrying his son, a chubby boy with an explosion of straw-colored curls. “How old are you?” Hardy asks the boy. “He’s two,” the dad beams.

“When will you be three?” Hardy asks.

“July,” the toddler says softly.

“That’s really soon!” he says. “You’re a bit older than my youngest, who’ll be three in October. Oh, you’ll be a big boy by then. You’re already a big boy. Do you want to sit on my bike?” The boy buries his face in his father’s chest. “I appreciate I’ve made you feel nervous. This is what I will do: I will disappear,” he says, which could double as his two-sentence acting manifesto. He revs his engine over and over. As we depart, the boy watches Hardy, his mouth agape.

We cut into Richmond Park, a twenty-five-hundred-acre expanse that’s equal parts polished and untamed. When something catches Hardy’s attention—stags in the brush, a view of the Thames, a tree with knotted bark—he raises two fingers to his eyes in a V, then points so I see it too, like I’m his Dunkirk wingman.

We pull over at a dead end. With our engines rumbling, Hardy tells me that his parents moved to this part of London to enroll him in the best schools they could afford. The area is among the wealthiest in the UK, but it’s also an economic patchwork where council houses sit blocks away from mansions. “Growing up, you mix and mingle. You can sit in the shit if you want to, or you can make something of yourself,” he says. “Or you can end up under too much pressure and fading out young.”

As a child, Hardy had a strong relationship with Ann, but he butted heads with Chips. Father and son made up years ago, and Hardy resists going into detail about their difficult past. “My father was the most wonderful of teachers in a world that can be cruel,” he allows. “He treated me like an adult, as opposed to changing his persona for his child. There was no filter. Do you understand? No filter.”

In his teens, Hardy wobbled. “The centrifugal force in my life is a natural disposition to not be happy with the way I feel,” he says. That, combined with a robust contrarian bent—“Nine times out of ten, when somebody says, ‘Don’t do that,’ my instinct is to say, ‘That has to be done’ ”—got him into a fair bit of trouble. He hung out with the wrong crowds; he fought in school. “I grew up in the neighborhood being a dick,” he says. “I’ve learned and will continue to learn from being a dick. To try and somehow chisel myself into being a human being so I can respect myself when I look in the mirror. And that’s a procedure that will go on until I die.”

Starting at thirteen, he struggled with alcoholism and other addictions. He still has a soft spot for those with similar demons. In April 2017, when two kids riding stolen mopeds were T-boned at an intersection and tried to run, Hardy, who lived nearby, apprehended one of them. The Sun headline sums up how the press covered the incident: “Tom Hardy Catches Thief After Dramatic Hollywood-Style Chase Through Streets Before Proudly Saying, ‘I’ve Caught the C**t.’ ” He disputes the details of what was reported— “It wasn’t much of a chase; when I found him, he was in fucking rag order”—but that’s beside the point. The tabloids missed the real story: After the incident, he tracked down the kid he turned in and got him help. “He must stand accountable for what he’s done,” Hardy tells me. “But he’s got issues, and he’s in a bad way. Do we just give up on a sixteen-year-old?”

As a boy, Hardy was given second, third, and fourth chances. Along the way, he discovered that acting offered an outlet for his baneful discontent. He attended one drama school, then another, got kicked out twice, and was cast in Band of Brothers before he graduated.

Still, for years, he questioned his chosen path. Hardy even signed up for a Parachute Regiment training course—but never followed through. “Oh, mate, I did so much backpedaling,” he says. “The reality is that where I belonged was not there. The last person defending the realm was Mr. Hardy.” He calls the decision to back out “one of my biggest regrets. I wonder what life would’ve been like. I would’ve loved to have served and been useful.”

In 2003, at twenty-five, Hardy cleaned up with the help of a twelve-step program—he calls it “my first port of call”—and he’s been sober ever since. “It was hard enough for me to say, ‘I’m an alcoholic.’ But staying stopped is fucking hard.” Sitting on his Triumph, at the center of the place that held all the risks and possibilities that would define him, Hardy sounds almost wistful.

We take off through the park. He rides with his legs bowed out, his left hand resting on his knee, and his right hand holding steady on the throttle. When he rips on a vape pen, white plumes swirl around his head and dissipate into the damp air.

We head to Richmond. The town sits within the borders of Greater London, but its roots are as much in the countryside as in the city. Generations of famous Brits seeking refuge have called it home: Queen Elizabeth I liked hunting stags in the park; Charles I relocated his court here to avoid the plague; Mick Jagger lived near the Thames with Jerry Hall, who, though now married to Rupert Murdoch, apparently still co-owns the home they shared.

We stop at a café around the corner from Hardy’s place. The wall between us that crumbled upon seeing Mae—or seemed to, anyway—is fortified just as quickly. When Private Tom reaches playfully for my stack of questions and I instinctively pull them back, he casts a leery eye. “I see I’m not in the circle of trust,” Public Hardy says, when in fact I just got booted from his.

“Can I get a double espresso?” he asks our waiter.

“For sure,” the waiter says. “By the way, big fan. I always know if you’re in a movie, it’s going to be a good one.”

“Thanks. But don’t put your money on that,” Hardy says. “I’ve got to be crap at some point.”

“I would say you’re one of my top three best,” the waiter says. “Action actors,” he clarifies.

“I think I’m a bit too old now for action.”

“Except for the next Expendables,” the waiter jokes.

“I’m tempted to ask who the other two are,” Hardy says after the waiter walks off. “I showed great restraint. Great restraint.” He might claim that the opinions of others don’t matter, but this is driving him crazy. “Who are the fuckers?”

When the waiter returns, I ask. “Mark Wahlberg,” he says without delay, as if he were waiting for the question. Hardy, stone-faced, says nothing. “And Matt Damon.”

Finally, Hardy speaks. “Can I give you this?” he says, handing over a plate, any plate, just to send the waiter on his way. Almost as an afterthought, he adds, “Thanks, man. Good company.”

He deals with this sort of thing all the time. “I’ve crossed the line of being a public figure. And I accept that means to a certain degree I’m public property,” he says, “even though I project an image of myself to them,” acknowledging Public Hardy in all but name. Most people he meets are lovely. But “the downside of being overt is you invite darkness,” he says. “It only takes one person to cause real harm.” He defends himself as if someone has called him out. “That’s not being paranoid. That’s just facts.”

“THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING OVERT IS YOU INVITE DARKNESS. IT ONLY TAKES ONE PERSON TO CAUSE REAL HARM.”

By filtering which parts of himself become public, he’s mostly okay with the balance of Private Tom and Public Hardy. Except, that is, when it comes to his children. “I will pose for you, and photos of me and my wife are fine,” he says. “But if someone takes a photo of my kids, all bets are off. I will take the camera off you and beat the fucking shit out of you.” His voice contains no hint of exaggeration. “That’s the one that hurts. My kids didn’t ask for what my job is.” He pauses. “There’s something that really upsets me about the imposition of a grown-up world on a child.”

When we spoke earlier about his relationship with Chips, he said he was working to become a better father by learning from the mistakes of his own. “In trying to protect my children, I’ll probably give them their own dose of problems,” he told me. “But I don’t want them to go through what I went through.”

At Kingston Hospital, we make our way to Mae’s room. She’s feeling better, but dried blood still cakes her face. She and Albert don’t know who or what to expect next, or how long it will be. Hardy asks what she remembers—“Hit the pavement,” she says. “Made a nice sound”—and what still hurts. We unload snacks we brought, and then we wait.

The three relax into a familiar rhythm. Age has smoothed but not erased the boys’ mischief and the mom’s sass. Hardy jokes to Mae, “All right, lovely, want salt-and-vinegar chips with a side of infectious disease? Pick up a little souvenir?” She smirks.

Hardy squeezes some sanitizer onto his hands and rubs it, then reaches for a chip. “Don’t do that,” Mae says. “Wipe off your hands first. It’s not for eating.”

“It’s better than eating disease,” Albert weighs in. “I’d rather be sanitized to death.”

“I’m gonna take my chances,” Hardy says.

“How’s your mum and dad?” she asks.

“Very good, actually,” he says. “It was my mum’s birthday last week.”

“Twenty-one again?”

“I’m glad to see you’re cracking jokes,” Albert says.

“Me too,” Mae says.

When she leaves the room with the help of a nurse, Hardy turns to Albert and delivers a dose of optimism: “She’s walking, mate. That’s a good sign. The next thing we’re going to get is an X-ray, or maybe a CT scan if they’re concerned about bleeding or swelling in the brain. They’ve got to check all the boxes.”

Once Mae is back, Hardy steps out to talk to the nurse without saying why. “Is he using his celebrity powers?” Albert asks me. “Not the first time I’ve witnessed that.” He laughs, then quiets. “But it’s a nice tool to have.”

Hardy returns without explanation. A few minutes later, the nurse comes in. “She’s going to be seen next.”

Like that, Mae is at the top of the list.

Though Hardy is coy about how much he played the fame card, it’s clear his job here is done. As we say goodbye, Mae pulls him in close. “I want you to know that I have plans to see Venom,” she says. “You’ve done something that’s close to my heart. You know I’m a sci-fi freak.”

“You’re gonna enjoy this one,” Hardy says. “This one’s just for you. And for my boy.”

Hardy wants to exert control over his world. The brutal irony is that the more successful he becomes, the more the world controls him. But as we walk out of the hospital, I suggest that while his celebrity might feel like a burden, in the instance of Mae and Albert it was . . . He finishes my sentence: “Perfect.”

At the exit, an orderly chases us down. “Tom! Tom Hardy!” We stop. “I just love your movies. Can I take a picture?” Two more fans follow. He smiles as they gather around in the hospital parking lot and start snapping selfies.

This article appears in the September '18 issue of Esquire.

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/amp22627852/tom-hardy-venom-fonzo-september-cover/

[elizas-writing]

Movie Reviews: The Incredibles 2

Alright, I’m just going to throw this out there now before I get ahead of myself. Yes, this movie is not epilepsy friendly. There’s a shit ton of flashing strobe lights periodically through the whole film, and I definitely don’t recommend seeing it in theaters if your photo sensitivity is that bad. Just wait until it’s streaming.

Now, on with the review!

Of all the Pixar films which were dying for a sequel, The Incredibles was right up at the top. Director Brad Bird brought visual splendor of retrofuturism and his intense brand of maturity you almost never get to see in family animated films, making it one of Pixar’s best. With it being a superhero film (especially in a time before cinematic universes were a thing), there was a ton of potential for character growth and new villains with a sequel.

But Bird got sucked into some other projects and wanted to wait out enough time to let the creativity to flow naturally. So when they finally announced that the sequel was going to be a thing after fourteen years, people got excited. While I was definitely one of those people, I was also a little worried since it is a sequel being released fourteen years later. Would it actually live up to the hype?

Well, let’s go into the story first.

Starting right where we last left off in the first film, the Parr family (AKA the Incredibles) confront the Underminer. Despite their best efforts to keep everyone safe and stop the villain, he escapes anyway, and the family is blamed for the collateral damage. This prompts the shut down of the Superhero Relocation Program, leaving the Parrs with no resources to pick themselves up after losing their home fighting Syndrome three months before. Luckily, someone saw them in action and wants to regain public support of Supers. Winston and Evelyn Deavor of DevTech want to use their technology to publicize the superhero work civilians don’t see, ensuring that they are still saving society and provide enough reason to legalize supers once again. Helen Parr (Elastigirl) is picked as their representative, leaving Bob (Mr. Incredible) to watch the kids while she’s out fighting crime. As Helen gets a taste of adrenaline again and Bob adapts to being a homemaker, a new threat emerges which could jeopardize Supers and keep them hidden forever.

This is one of the best looking Pixar films to date with such a meticulous attention to detail. The textures in the skin, clothing, glass, and water are just amazing to look at with similar photo-realism I last saw in Coco. It ups the action scenes and emotional performances with Bird’s fluidly expressive and fast-paced animation. It also takes full advantage of what the supers, old and new, can do with their powers, especially Elastigirl. Any time I saw her use a new technique with her flexibility, I just thought, “Brilliant!” You can tell there were great, creative minds behind the fight scenes to make these powers stand out. No wonder it took so long to get a sequel out.

Most of the original voice cast is back to reprise their roles, and as expected, they’re still wonderful in keeping up with Bird’s kind of energy. Dash was the only voice to be replaced since his actor grew too old, but you can’t even tell the difference, and he’s just perfect for Dash. And, of course, the newer voices are just as amazing for this fast-paced, energetic movie.

I’ll admit I was initially worried at the premise since it just seemed like a role reversal of the first film, right down to a tech company CEO wanting Supers to make a comeback. And how many sitcoms have we seen where the dad has to stay at home, take care of the kids and is just a royal fuck up? On one hand, the plot gets a little predictable, but it thankfully provides updates where it sorely needed them. As expected, Bob is out of touch with being a father, hates not working, and-- no pun intended-- is incredibly insecure on his wife being the breadwinner and first choice for regaining public support of Supers. But it’s very careful to not make him a stereotypical incompetent dad/husband character type.

He adapts, becomes resourceful, listens to his kids, and eventually gets over himself when he realizes he’s being irrational. And given that he’s raising Super kids at such a pivotal point in their lives-- particularly with Jack Jack growing more erratic with his new powers by the day--, his stress is understandable; hell, you’d probably freak out too if your youngest child just vanished into another dimension. He’s just a wonderful dad to look up to as someone who always tries to do better for his family.

It’s also great seeing Helen in the spotlight with a noticeably different fighting style from her husband. While Bob likes to smash his way through a situation with brute force, Helen is a lot more meticulous, cunning and careful, whether in a fight or saving bystanders. I love seeing her energy and enjoying the thrill of superhero work, but not letting it go to her head and remembering why she’s there. She has fun interactions with Evelyn and some of the other Supers, and as I said before, the animation on her is super creative and so damn impressive.

Violet and Dash are still a fun sibling dynamic where they equally get on each other’s nerves but are also excellent superhero partners, whether making sure their dad is in check or fighting off bad guys themselves. It’s just a fun rapport between the two. I also really appreciate how maturely Bird treats them under their circumstances. They’re as much involved with this changing world as their parents, and need to learn how to navigate balancing a normal life and a superhero life. And their parents know better than to tap dance around the truth, so they can be prepared for the worst case scenario. And Jack-Jack is a whole brand of wild with his new powers you just have to see for yourself. He’s a laugh riot, and it’s so cute to see him mimic the adults’ behaviors.

While there are some wonderful changes to a typical sitcom plot and the mystery Helen has to solve is fascinating, I felt like the film could’ve gone the extra mile in expanding the worldbuilding and character dilemmas, especially for how much they kept building up the whole “It’s been 14 years!” in the commercials. I love these new heroes they introduce (particularly Voyd, who is a disaster lesbian, who the fuck are y’all kidding with the “functional” shit), but I wanted to know more about the world dealing with the comeback of Supers with reemerging prejudices on collateral damage, overbearing amounts of responsibility, and the possibility of over-reliance on Supers to save the day.

The commentary is there, but the plot still has to juggle what’s going on with the rest of the family while Helen is at work. And even that doesn’t seem to be balanced out either. There’s a whole section on Violet trying to maintain a relationship with a boy which produces a lot of complications with her maintaining secrecy on her Super identity. That would be a perfect opportunity to explore these prejudices and what Supers sacrifice in hiding. But they’re brief scenes with way too fast resolutions.

And with the story being so predictable, we have another plot twist villain, and this trend in Disney films is obnoxious because it’s almost never a surprise anymore. I’d be more forgiving if we took more time to dive into their motivations or if there was fascinating subtext like in Moana. And this villain has some great points to bounce off the heroes, but like I said, the worldbuilding is cut too short because of the other developing side-plots. It really sucks, because Bird handled the paranoia of the other so well in The Iron Giant, and The Incredibles is the perfect setting to explore such themes and make parallels to Civil Rights. It’s not awful or severely underdeveloped, but I think they missed an opportunity to make the story pack a punch and relied a little too much on its own hype.

Even for what it lacks, The Incredibles 2 is still a fun family superhero flick which delivers what was perfect from the first film. The animation is freaking amazing, the characters and their interactions are fun with some great growth, and the action really packs a punch. I can’t completely get behind the hype like the marketing wants me to, but for The Incredbiles, it’s too damn entertaining to miss out on.

If you enjoyed this review and what I do here, consider buying me a ko-fi to show your support!

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 64: Keystone Motel

“IT’S FUSION, SAPPHIRE!”

Keeping It Together suggests that despite Steven and the fans clamoring for more Ruby and Sapphire, their return would only come about in a calamity. So, erm, thank you Pearl?

It would be so unfaithful to Garnet’s character for Ruby and Sapphire to pop up all the time after the big reveal, because the whole point is that they’re in a stable fusion. But despite the circumstances, it’s great to see these two again. Charlyne Yi Ruby left a bombastic first impression in Jailbreak, so she’s always welcome, while Sapphire was barely in her debut, so we want to know more. And while later episodes like Hit the Diamond where the world isn’t falling apart are fun, characters in crisis are inherently interesting to watch. 

The structure of Keystone Motel takes the familiar introductory approach of meeting new(ish) characters together, then separating them to explore them as individuals, then joining them again to see them as a unit in a new light. Gem Glow did it the same way, but now we have the benefit of sixty-three episodes of show to let us focus harder on the characters instead of meeting an entire world (even if we do touch on that with the new environment). And just as importantly, we also have sixty-three episodes establishing Steven’s particular lens.

I didn’t mention much of Steven in my Cry For Help review, as he exists solely as an observer with Amethyst, and of the two, Amethyst is far more important to the episode. He’s still great, particularly in the small meditative scene where he teaches Amethyst how to make her fingers float by crossing her eyes, but plotwise he’s an ancillary character in the Week of Sardonyx.

Except for here. In Keystone Motel, he spends most of the episode doing what he does for most of the week: distracting himself from the mess at home, and observing the Gems as they deal with Pearl’s actions without much interference. He’s not Amethyst, trying to make the peace or consoling his friends. Maybe one day he will be, but for now he’s a child, and it’s incredibly unfair to expect a child to act as a mediator between arguing parents.

Instead, all he can do is get upset, and at his breaking point he wonders aloud if mom and mom are fighting because of him. Logically, this is an absurd assumption: he saw what Pearl did and knew it was wrong, and Pearl is clearly who Ruby and Sapphire are arguing about. At no point does Ruby or Sapphire bring him into the conflict by accusing him of taking a side or getting mad at him for not backing them up. But when you’re stressed and confused by clashing parents, logic takes a backseat to emotion. Self-blame is a tried-and-true method of tricking yourself into thinking you have control over a situation that’s out of your hands: it sucks when something’s your fault, but it sucks even more to be powerless.

Unfortunately it’s a coping mechanism that Steven will learn too well when he takes the weight of his mother’s sins on his shoulders, but for now it doesn’t take long for his unwarranted guilt to crack Sapphire’s icy front. This turning point is definitely Steven’s biggest contribution to the week, because nobody else was in a position to move things forward. Ruby and Sapphire’s impasse was based on them each being so used to, and annoyed by, their reactions to upsetting situations. 

Sapphire internalizes her emotions with the knowledge that things will resolve, and Ruby lashes out at everything like an eternal flame, baby. Neither is willing to show the vulnerability necessary to let down their defenses and talk things out, and both are stubborn enough for a feud to last for who knows how long: this is unstoppable force/immovable object territory. So just by expressing the emotional turmoil of a kid in a breaking home, Steven saves the day. And the show doesn’t even feel the need to verbalize that subtext, even though Greg is around and he loves doing that. Way to go, Keystone Motel.

Speaking of Greg, this may be his greatest episode as a side character. The distinction between being a main character or a side character is admittedly nebulous at times—for instance, which is he in Winter Forecast or Steven’s Birthday?—but here he’s a driving force (literally) who graciously cedes the spotlight to our leads, even though he’s killing it on the comedy front. From casually instructing Steven to call the police if his internet deal goes south to waxing poetic about pizza, his humor is grounded in his core dadness in a way that’s as funny as it is endearing. How great is his hyping up of motels and wanting to spend time with his son on a boring business trip? He’s just the sweetest.

And on top of his daditude, this episode gives us two great insights into Greg’s life outside of Steven. The first is the catalyst for the road trip in the first place: his need for cheap equipment for the car wash. We don’t focus on money much in Steven Universe until Greg hits it rich, but there’s a clear sense of financial hardship to a guy who lives in a van working at a car wash where business always seems slow. And while it’s never stated that he’s Steven’s sole financial provider, who else is getting this kid food and clothes? I love seeing the scrappy side of him that he largely hides from Steven (and thus us), and his chill attitude in poverty pays off in a big way when he’s just as chill with his sudden wealth.

The second is his brilliant reaction to seeing Sapphire: a weary “Oh boy, where’s the other one?” It helps that Tom Scharpling is so good at encapsulating Greg’s quintessential “oh boy” approach to conflict, but after We Need to Talk it’s another small reminder that Greg has a history with the Crystal Gems independent of Steven. Of course he already knows about Ruby and Sapphire.

I mentioned Charlyne Yi earlier, but oh my goodness is she amazing. I know I already compared Ruby to Daffy Duck in my Jailbreak review, but it’s honestly the highest compliment I can give: she’s frustration personified, and almost every frame where she’s not exploding is spent winding herself up to explode. Yi is everything to this character, starting at a fever pitch and maintaining a sputtering episode-long tirade without missing a beat. Look at those Rebecca Sugar sketches of Ruby: they’re based directly off of Yi’s physical performance while voice acting, which in turn directly influenced the animation: 

Holy crow does this woman commit. Deedee Magno Hall might be my overall voice actor MVP for the show, but maybe the only thing stopping Charlyne Yi from taking the throne is Ruby and the rubies’ infrequent appearances. 

Which is hardly to take away from Erica Luttrell, whose deep, slow serenity makes for Yi’s ideal counterpart. Like I said, it’s wonderful to see more of Sapphire than the blip we got in Jailbreak, and Luttrell terrifically conveys the emotions seething behind Sapphire’s icy exterior. Here, it’s all in the pauses, the perfectly uncomfortable moments as she works to keep her cool: it’s most notable in her frozen “I’m...fine” as ice tightens behind her.

(Fun fact: when Luttrell was a kid, she was the voice of Keesha on Magic School Bus, and when I was a kid, I loved Magic School Bus, so it was a delightful thing to learn.)

Although Garnet is obviously a blend of both Gems, we see far more patience than fury from her. So while Ruby’s a bunch of fun to watch (particularly as she rambles her way into the pool), the challenge is differentiating Sapphire from that other calm, collected, authoritative, and distant Gem with future vision and a deep voice and hidden eyes. The solution is to make her a bit too in touch with that future vision, and I love how it’s used for both humor and drama to showcase just how vital it is for Sapphire, and thus how important Ruby is at grounding her in the present.

The resolution of their argument is essentially Sapphire remembering this, and in doing so, Ruby finally cools down. Unfortunately her idea of cooling down involves putting herself down; just like in Jailbreak, she sees herself as worthless compared to Sapphire, which the latter thankfully disagrees with. The root of Ruby’s deep-set insecurities might not get explained until The Answer, but there’s a clear lived-in dynamic between these two that there really needs to be for the whole “fused together for thousands of years” relationship to make sense.

Finally, even if they’re short on screentime and Michaela Dietzes, Pearl and Amethyst leave a huge impression in this episode. Pearl’s in full manic mode, which is exactly where she should be, and I love the quiet scene of Amethyst consoling her as Steven comes back in. Garnet deserves to be the main focus of Cry for Help’s immediate fallout, but these two are still a major factor that shouldn’t be forgotten.

This isn’t a perfect episode. It might sound like a nitpick, but it bugs the hell out of me that the motel and diner are totally empty minus one waitress, especially when so much care was put into these new sets (although I do realize that the time spent on these new sets is likely why we don’t get new character models). It takes me right out of the critical diner scene every time I watch it to be reminded of the constraints of animation, which is a bummer on a show that’s so good at not doing that.

Still, our journey to the Keystone State (by which I of course mean the state named Keystone) is an important success. Time limitations often make arguments in episodic media pretty simple, but here we slow down to tackle the consequences of Cry for Help on multiple fronts: to even begin considering forgiveness, Ruby and Sapphire have to process their emotions after being betrayed. It’s a risky move, especially given how new these characters are, but it pays off in a way that deepens Garnet and the show as a whole.

Future Vision!

Mr. Greg, of all episodes, is a great follow-up to this adventure of Steven, Greg, and another Gem traveling to another state, staying in a rented room, and resolving tension between the two parent figures. Going to a hotel and rolling in money is nice, but it’s even better when juxtaposed against going to a motel and working to make ends meet.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Even if it sucks that Ruby and Sapphire go on a break, I can’t say I’m unhappy to see them. While it’s not all that rewatchable for me given it’s in the middle of a pretty unpleasant Bomb, execution and tone go a long way. 

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

Chille Tid

Keeping It Together

On the Run

Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

(Like Keeping It Together, no official promo for this one. This time I’m going with the brilliant imamong, whose title cards for Steven Universe astound and amaze.)

[breakingculture]

Instacart and the End of the California Ideology

We must remember that the ruling class of this country are choosing capitalism over life. They are defending the right of rich people to accumulate unprecedented wealth and willing to let the rest of us die if it helps their cause. They know that if we actually move to save the population, it will decimate every social and economic institution, necessitating massive government action and steep taxation to get anything started or "opened up" again. Their cult of the free market tells them that giving in to the demands of society will inevitably lead to a curtailment of the power of capital over us. Already we are asking to release us from debts and other financial obligations. No, they would rather take their chances in their bunkers and let the rabble die, like the royalty during the plague. Of course what medieval historians would probably tell them is that the plague so destroyed the population that it greatly increased the power of labor simply because there were fewer workers competing for the jobs. The ultimate effect, at least in this country, might well be that labor becomes more powerful than ever before. Today we are seeing some of the glimmers of this. In a moment when merely going to the store is putting one's life at risk, people who now staff the massive semi-formal delivery services are an essential workforce, particularly for the middle and upper middle class people who have the means to use their services. Despite all the hype about automation and robots taking our jobs, this crisis has suddenly revealed the way these services only actually function because of the labor involved. Amazon's algorithms and network effects may help merchants connect with consumers, but unless the warehouse workers ship and the delivery drivers drop those products on our doorstep, it is an imaginary transaction.

Yet these essential workers are also at the frontlines of what is called the gig economy. This term, for a reminder, is premised on the notion that every job one of these workers perform, is just a gig - a side hustle of some kind for them to make a bit of extra money.  The premise is that these workers are somehow independent contractors, their 1099 tax status relieving their employer from the responsibility to treat them like a full employee, with expectations of employee provided health care, vacation time, sick leave, as well as other perks, like retirement benefits and child care. But the most significant - and automatic - result of this tax status is that, as a 1099 "independent contractor" the employer is relieved of paying any of the Medicare, Social Security, and Unemployment insurance taxes for the worker. Instead, the worker is forced to pay this, which ultimately cuts their take home pay by something like 7-15% depending on what state they live in.  These are workers who have effectively no rights, few benefits, and highly fluctuating income depending on the market conditions of the very second when the algorithmically calculated price of their services is determined by the app.

Legally, the notion of an independent contractor relied on the worker being the owner of their own enterprise. My business would contract with an accountant who owns her own firm and contracts with many other businesses. I have to pay all my own taxes for myself and business and she has to pay taxes for her self and business. It lessens the complexity of our transaction if it is a simple probably infrequent exchange of money for contracted services. It is the paradigm of the liberal ideology of the equality of contract: both parties are independent actors capable of making their own decisions about what the terms of their exchange of labor for wage will be.

Of course, this is not how the relationship between these companies and their contractors actually operate most of the time. For one thing, as several lawsuits in California and elsewhere have argued, there is a vast inequality in negotiating power between individual drivers and the multinational ride sharing app. Uber drivers in one key California case were penalized for choosing not to pick up customers, often told when to work, and otherwise treated as employees - because, ultimately, that is what they are to Uber. Like a traditional cab company logistics work best when it can monitor the drivers projected customer drop-off location and send them immediately to the next pick-up. If drivers continually exercise their agency to not pick up, it upsets the smooth circulation of the company's assets in space. In other words, the more they act like independent contractors, the more it upsets the efficiency gained by the centralization of those contractors in the app . It also messes up the price calculation, which is supposed to be the result an algorithmic invisible hand, the price precisely reflecting the cost of the current supply at the current demand.

The only choice workers have, in real time, as to whether they will take a particular "gig" is what it promises to pay them for their time. It is a form of employment that has its roots deeply embedded in the infertile soil of stagnant wages, an uneven recovery, and a highly unequal relationship between the wealthiest corporations and the average worker. If teachers have to drive for Uber because they don't make enough during their job as public servants, it should say less about the benevolent intervention of the company and more about the nearly absolute precarity of the people who do this kind of work. Culturally. this precarity is justified by saying that these "gigs" are an easy way to make some money.  Nobody dream of going to work for Instacart or Taskrabbit. At least not until they are in a precarious position and in absolute need for a job. As Doug Henwood put it half a decade ago, "The sharing economy is a nice way for rapacious capitalists to monetize the desperation of people in the post-crisis economy while sounding generous, and to evoke a fantasy of community in an atomized population."

The ideology of "community" remains in place in the reporting on Instacart and other workers performing what is now an essential form of labor. The current conditions have revealed these internal contradictions.  In many cities, Uber and Lyft had already become all but essential, particularly to a younger generation whose precarious employment had already recommended against owning a car unless it was also something you were using for work. But when the people going to the store for you are not just helping you save a bit of time, but could effectively be saving your life, it changes the equation significantly.

This is reflected on the one side with the increased hiring of Instacart shoppers and Amazon drivers in recent weeks. Most recently, Instacart announced it will be hiring 300,000 new workers in the coming weeks. As Tech Cruch reported on this news, "All of a sudden, social distancing means fewer trips to the grocery stores, which means more reliance on delivery platforms like Instacart." On the one hand, this is certainly true. As a son and son-in-law to older people who live in other states, I've definitely been recommending they use these services instead of going to the store themselves. But this bloodless description of the corporate expansion manages to leave out what it really happening on the ground: other people, individual people, are putting their lives at risk so that we don't have to. In exchange for the risk of contracting a highly contagious and unpredictably severe virus, Instacart is offering those workers two weeks of sick leave and some hand sanitizer.

This explains the walkout by Instacart workers today, as well as a series of other strikes and walkouts by other gig workers across the country in recent days. As quoted in Vice:

“While Instacart’s corporate employees are working from home, Instacart’s [gig workers] are working on the frontlines in the capacity of first responders,” Vanessa Bain, a lead organizer of the upcoming Instacart walkout, and an Instacart gig worker in Menlo Park, California, told Motherboard. “Instacart’s corporate employees are provided with health insurance, life insurance, and paid time off and [are] also eligible for sick pay and paid family leave. By contrast its [gig workers], who are putting their lives on the line to maintain daily operations are afforded none of these protections. Without [us], Instacart will grind to a halt. We deserve and demand better.”

The dichotomy Bain highlights is at the center of our current crisis. While many of us - myself included - are managing the fact that we must now do our work at a distance, often while juggling child care, the only way this is possible is by the workers who continue to do the work that can't be done at a distance: grocery clerks, sanitation workers, poultry plant employees, workers in Amazon warehouses, and people who shop for and deliver groceries. A lot of the focus at the national level is justly placed on the largely underpaid healthcare workers managing the crisis on the ground, particularly in New York. But the mandate for social distancing, which relies on many of us staying home, means these other forms of work must be done by someone. Ideally by trained, tested, well supplied and well compensated professionals, rather than especially desperate gig workers whose continued precarity risks that they will perform this labor even if they feel sick.

The current federal response is doing nothing to rebalance these scales or make sure that the informal infrastructure we are putting in place to facilitate the management of this crisis won't actually become one of the weakest links in the system. At the same time, the fantasy of the current political class - that bailing out the large corporations will be a functional substitute for actual investment in the work and life of the average American - is about to be murdered, as the saying goes, by a gang of brutal facts. The $2 Trillion bailout is a drop in the bucket compared to what will be necessary to weather and recover from this crisis. We should all celebrate the workers who are pushing to make sure the corporate spoils of the interregnum are sufficiently shared. It is both an important precedent and the necessary foundation for our reconstruction.

[fayewonglibrary]

THE ICE QUEEN OF CANTO (2002)

Faye Wong was known for her scalding temper as much as her singing but now she’s cool, collected and very much in control. Don’t believe the hype, she tells Vivienne Chow.

“The truth doesn’t matter any more,” intones a calm and collected Faye Wong, when she is asked whether her relationship with Cantopop star Nicholas Tse Ting-fung is on the rocks. She leans purposefully back in her comfy chair, snaps a bite out of a square of French toast and summons her assistant for another packet of Mild Seven cigarettes. It isn’t so easy to rile Faye Wong any more.

Three years ago, it would scarcely have been noteworthy had the pop diva launched herself at me across the table and jammed the toast into my eye. At a press conference at Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre in 1999, Wong lost her temper when an inquisitive journalist from Singapore submitted a question about her divorce from Beijing rock star Dou Wei. She screamed at the reporter, told her it was no one’s business but her own and stormed out in the kind of dramatic huff only stars seem able to carry off.

All I get is a cheerful, perhaps defiant smile and a puff of cigarette smoke. Wong appears only too happy to consider the question, despite the over-anxious butt-in from another assistant, who says: “Would you please cancel that question!” - intent on smothering the 32-year-old singer. Quite obviously, however, she can take care of herself.

“I’ve already answered it,” Wong cuts in. Well, actually, she hasn’t. What she has said is this: “The main function of the entertainment press is to get stories that are entertaining but sometimes the truth may not be as juicy as you imagine. Even if I answer the questions honestly, they still make up stories. They have their own ideas on how my private life should be. I have no desire to change that image so I choose not to answer. In this way they can continue to write whatever they want to.”

So she’s answered by questioning the question’s validity - that old celebrity trick - but at least that toast is staying on her side of the table. “Sometimes the entertainment news about me covers details I have never heard before,” she says. “I quite enjoy reading the stories myself. I’m just so fascinated by this. But I’m not keen to tell people who I am or explain to people what I have or haven’t done. Now I don’t really mind what has been written about me.”

That’s about as close an answer as anyone’s likely to get from Wong on the state of her relationship with Tse, who is 11 years her junior. Not that you can really blame her. Since the couple walked out of a private function, hand in hand, two years ago, they have been pursued relentlessly by the paparazzi.

And that’s hardly surprising, given Wong is the undisputed queen of Cantopop and Tse, a Cantopop star himself, is also the son of 1960s heart-throb actor Patrick Tse Yin and actress Deborah Lai. That was more than enough star quality to send even the most haggard entertainment hack into a frenzy when the couple’s romance was first revealed. Now there are rumours of a parting of ways, the gossip machine is again moving into overdrive.

But Wong has learned to be philosophical following the often fanatical media interest surrounding her marriage to Dou in 1996 and divorce three years later. “I’m more open-minded now,” she says. “At the beginning, I got upset quite often by the way I was portrayed in the newspapers and how people saw me. But since I can’t ask the entire world to change for me, I now look at these matters in a positive way.”

Until, that is, her five-year-old daughter by Dou, Ching-tung, is added to the mix. Ching-tung has been the subject of cut-throat press clamour since even before she was born. The battle to publish the first photograph of Wong pregnant resulted in a court case between rival newspapers Oriental Sunday and Apple Daily. The Oriental Sunday snapped the slightly swelling singer in the baggage lounge of Beijing Airport in October 1996 - the first confirmation that the star was expecting - and took Apple to court after it printed a spoiler story on the front page, including the picture, on the same day.

Since then, even the little girl has had to run the press gauntlet. On February 1, Chinese-language entertainment magazine Sudden Weekly published photographs of Ching-tung at the Hong Kong International School and ran an interview allegedly conducted with her on her way to the school in Repulse Bay. The interview claimed the youngster said Tse hadn’t visited her mother for some time. Wong was understandably furious. And for a moment, as she recounts the episode to me, the expression that darkens her face would, I know, have been terrifyingly familiar to the unfortunate reporter at the press conference three years ago. Wong leans forward. She’s more serious now. The interview never took place, she says. “I checked with my maid and spoke to my daughter. She has never done this kind of interview before. Sure, she might have said hello to someone but there couldn’t have been enough time for her to tell a reporter so many details.

"I understand people want to read about her and she cannot escape from being harassed because she is my daughter. It is not harmful if they make up stories about me but she is only a five-year-old child. Can’t the public sacrifice a little bit of their curiosity so the child can grow up in a healthy environment? Can’t they at least just wait till she’s older?”

Up close, it’s easy to see why Wong’s face graces so many magazine covers. She has beautiful, big round eyes. She says her tall and slender figure requires little maintenance, even after she gave birth to Ching-tung. And Wong is a trend-setter. What she wears will often become the hottest fahsion items of the season - even though she seems to be the only person able to carry off what are often quirky designs.

Born in 1969, Wong moved to Hong Kong with her family from Beijing at the end of 1987 when she was 18. Her enthusiasm for singing led her to the respected voice coach Tai Sze-chung and , at just 20, she was recommended by Tai to Cinepoly, with which she secured a record deal.

In 1989, Wong released her debut album, Shirley Wong Ching-man, a stage name she then used, which won her Commercial Radio’s Ultimate Female Newcomer(Bronze) award. In 1991, she left for the United States to study music. When she returned the next year, she released the album Coming Home, which became her first platinum record. She retrieved her real name, Wong Fei - Faye Wong - in 1994 and has so far made 22 studio albums.

In 1997, Wong announced she would make no more Cantonese albums when she left Cinepoly for global giant EMI. But she does sing the occcasional Cantonese song in addition to the records in Putonghua. “It is a marketing decision,” she says. “To sing well, one has to master the language in order to deliver the best sound. Putonghua is my native tongue so naturally I’m more confident with this language. But records are considered a commodity and we must take sales into account.”

Wong’s singing and songwriting talents, if widely recognised, are often tagged under the “alternative” label, although she has been voted best female singer on numerous occasions in Hong Kong, the mainland and Southeast Asia, and took the best alternative song composition trophy last year at the CASH Golden Sail Awards in the SAR with Han Wu Jie.

This kind of success usually brings a measure of satisfaction, so how does Wong still find herself singing songs she deosn’t particularly like? “I enjoy performing my own compositions but my taste in music is too off-mainstream and only a few people appreciate that,” says Wong, who has covered songs by Tori Amos and collaborated with Cocteau Twins. “I know what the masses like and I know they skip my compositions and listen to the commercial tracks. Hong Kong is not like Japan, where it accomodates various musical styles. I have too many business partners and I must consider their interests as well. I’m more mature now and I strike a balance between my personal interests and commercial value.”

Thus, she is promoting her new film. It is the Lunar New Year crowd-drawer Chinese Odyssey 2002, her fourth film, in which she plays opposite Tony Leung Chiu-wai. It is also a testament to her new, more-mellow attitude. When she last played opposite Leung in Chungking Express in 1994, Wong barely spoke to her co-star. This time, in a hectic two-month shoot over Christmas, she says the pair got on well. Leung told the South China Morning Post she “seemed like a different person this time. She is very cheerful and friendly.”

Wong plays the role of Princess Wu Shuang, who escapes from her palace for fun, often disguising herself as a man, only for both a man and a woman to fall for her. “Filming Chungking Express was painful for me because I had no idea what I was doing at all,” she says. “But Chinese Odyssey 2002 was an enjoyable experience - though I didn’t have time to sleep. The team spirit was fantastic.”

But it’s not just her character that changed between the two movies, she insists. Wong Kar-wai, the director of Chungking Express, and Jeff Lau Chun-wai, who wrote and directed Chinese Odyssey 2002, were two extremes. “As I am not confident and experienced with acting, I need demonstrations on how to act,” she says. “Jeff gave me very clear direction: he is willing to teach, whereas Wong Kar-wai did not want me to understand what was on his mind. I just had to perform what he told me to and some of the situations were quite embarrassing. Sometimes I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. It was good for me because there was no need for me to analyse the character. But now I want to know more about acting.”

In Wong’s 1994 song Exit, she describes herself as having a lack of patience. That’s one thing that has not changed. After 30 minutes, a clutch of cigarettes and a snack attack of toast, she gets up with an “Is that OK?” and has exited left before even her hovering assistants can pretend it was their idea.

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SOURCE: THE SOUTH CHINA MORNING POST

[cinemamablog]

When Baby’s Away, Mama Pushes “Play”

This weekend, Baby Oliver threw a slumber party with his Grandma Jessie. At her house. Without me. Which means I got to sleep a full, blissful nine hours and watch a double feature the next morning. These days, watching one movie uninterrupted feels like a vacation, so watching two uninterrupted feels like heaven on earth. For this double feature, I decided to catch up on a couple of well-reviewed horror flicks from the summer season: Annabelle Comes Home and Midsommar.

When I stayed at home for three months with my newborn boy, I instructed his daddy to go to the movies and report back to me: Did it live up to the hype? Is it worth buying on Blu-ray for our collection? Or was it more of a Redbox-worthy movie?

I was pretty much attached to the baby for the five weeks I breastfed, since he was so ravenous. Finding time to pump seemed like a sick joke. So once I finally pumped enough for an evening at the movies with my husband, I spent the first two hours of Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood worried sick about my finicky baby. (Anyone condemning the violence in the third act clearly didn’t need a bloody distraction from intrusive thoughts of a baby screaming as if to say “Where. Is. My. MOM???”)

Before I found the time to pump that mere 7 oz. for a movie night, Adam returned to me from the new Annabelle movie with rave reviews. He said it proved as good as the second movie in the Annabelle strain of the Conjuring series. But I don’t like the second Annabelle movie, Annabelle: Creation, so his review kept my expectations as low as they started. My expectations fell still more after watching The Curse of La Llorona last week. As far as I could tell, quality control over the Conjuring franchise had gone down the drain.

As for Midsommar, Adam reported back that the hype oversold this latest movie from Ari Aster and that he felt disappointed by his viewing experience. “But you might like it,” he comforted me as my excitement for the most talked about movie of the year waned. “Gee thanks!” I said sarcastically, inferring a whole lot of trash talk from his encouraging statement. He said “but you might like it,” but I heard “you’ll like it because you like anything, even if it sucks.” I should probably get my hearing checked.

This Saturday, once we got Oliver settled at Grandma’s, taught Grandma how to not get scammed on the internet, did our grocery shopping, and ate a not-so-romantic dinner of chicken patties together, I cuddled up with a fluffy blanket and pushed “play” on the Blu-ray player’s remote.

First up: Annabelle Comes Home. I dug the plot, I gasped at parts, I felt so happy to finally watch a movie in peace. And then I fell asleep at 9:30. My first night without a baby to put to sleep (and keep asleep) and my body couldn’t keep up with my binge-watching aspirations.

I woke early the next day and settled on our IKEA couch again, determined to finish the long-anticipated marathon. I texted Grandma and asked when she wanted me to pick up Baby. She said “soon,” which my mommy brain translated to “whenever you’re done with your movie marathon.” I should probably get my vision checked, too.

But enough about my pitiful life of scheduling babysitters around movie runtimes! The show must go on!

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On what I promise to be a relevant note, in The Conjuring 2, everyone’s favorite demonologist couple, the Warrens (played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga), encounter an entertaining variety of demons and other supernatural entities: the evil nun Valak, the Enfield poltergeist, the Crooked Man… It’s frankly a lot of baddies to contain in one movie compared to the simplicity of the original Conjuring’s cast of demons. Annabelle Comes Home takes The Conjuring 2’s smorgasbord of demons and ghosts and puts them to good use in a Warren-centric plot, in which a hodgepodge of set pieces makes sense.

The Warrens leave their pre-teen daughter Judy home with Mary Ellen, the babysitter, overnight. Mary Ellen’s friend, Daniela, shows up uninvited, bringing along an unhealthy curiosity for the Warren’s alternative lifestyle. (Or rather, their afterlifestyle.) This grieving teenage girl with a goal to see her dearly departed father gets the demonic cogs turning when she snoops in the Warren’s occult room, where the evil doll Annabelle safely resides, blessed by holy water and sealed inside a glass case constructed from a church’s window panes. Don’t touch anything, she’s been warned. So of course she touches everything. Annabelle escapes from her case and sics the roomful of possessed objects on the night’s house guests: Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman), Daniela (Katie Sarife), the babysitter’s suitor Bob (Michael Cimino), and Judy, played by a prolific child actress who I usually just refer to as “New Kiernan Shipka,” but whose actual name is Mckenna Grace.

Annabelle Comes Home explores a scenario that fans of the Warrens fantasize about: what if the occult museum and all of its ghastly inhabitants, for lack of a better term, came alive? The film also plays with Conjuring universe fans’ expectations of the series: many of the jump-scare setups in the movie get you on the edge of your seat, only to keep you hanging. Gary Dauberman makes his directorial debut with a hat tip to the previous Conjuring installments, by acknowledging the series’ reputation for an overabundance of jump-scares and proceeding to play with the audience’s expectations, which makes the occasional startling moment all the richer and more satisfying.

After I finished Annabelle Comes Home, I compared notes with my husband. We agreed that the acting was “surprisingly good” for a cast of relatively unknown actors. Katie Sarife in particular gives a layered performance as the best friend Daniela, who first earns the viewer’s scorn by making some poor decisions driven by desperation. But once her motives become clear, Daniela becomes an object of sympathy and affection. With a lesser actress, this shift in audience sympathies wouldn’t have worked: she would have started the movie as the fool and ended it that way. Kudos to Sarife for her elevated performance.

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After reveling in the Warren’s fun house of demonic objects, I moved on to the less amusing but equally satisfying Midsommar. I had started watching the movie weeks ago, when it first came out on Blu-ray. I had finished the stunning prologue, on par with iconic prologues like the slow-mo introduction of Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, but then admitted defeat to my exhaustion and went to bed. I skipped the prologue this second time around, not wanting to relive the trauma yet. (And thank goodness, because plenty of traumatic imagery awaited me.)

Midsommar perfectly captures how it feels to be The Girlfriend in the friend group. Every word of dissent, even if it’s just your opinion and doesn’t really affect anyone, becomes an uncomfortable silence and shift until your boyfriend either covers for you or the group seems to move on. But make no mistake: you no longer qualify as the easygoing Cool Girl of Gone Girl lore; you are the Nagging Girlfriend and will carry the title like a heavy cross. Your grief, your baggage, becomes the group’s shared dread. And when they’re alone, it becomes their inside joke.

Florence Pugh shines as the shattered Dani. Any mention of family or death or both sends Dani into a hyperventilating state of panic, with very little support from her distant asshole of a boyfriend, Christian (Jack Reynor). Like any normal couple grasping at the last straws of a failed relationship, Christian brings Dani along on his boys’ thesis trip to a Swedish commune. While the majority of the friend group, including Christian, resents Dani’s presence, their Swedish friend and guide, Pelle (Vilhelm Blomgren), takes a special interest in Dani’s experience of his village’s summer solstice celebration. His sympathy and smile feel like a breath of fresh air after spending too much time with the collegiate bros (played by William Jackson Harper and Will Poulter).

While the midsummer celebration of the film’s title takes a dark turn for many of our American friends, Dani’s own journey feels like a Cinderella story: her foot fits the glass slipper, her stamina lives up to the expectations of the title of May Queen. Meanwhile, the boys, Dani’s equivalent of her wicked stepsisters and stepmother, are left with nothing but the village’s cruel though accurate interpretation of them. I can’t help but wonder whether, while this movie was written and directed by a man, Dani’s pain, and subsequent healing by fire, resonates with women especially. I’m not saying every woman wants to watch the world burn. But the people who hurt us under the guise of caring about us? I say let ‘em burn.

I feel revitalized by this single good night of sleep and lazy morning of movies, which may be apparent from my first blog post in a week and my longest blog post in ever. I recommend both of these movies wholeheartedly and I also recommend to any mamas out there: take a break. Reconnect with yourself, for yourself and for your family. You can’t be everything to everyone every day of your life. Sometimes, you need to check in with yourself. Maybe that looks like a monthly night of sleep and a movie marathon on the couch, or a weekly friend date at the coffee shop, or a biweekly manicure, whatever. Spend some time with a household of demons and a Swedish village of pagans. Have fun, CineBabies, and take care of yourselves.

[hextual]

Podcast Recs

The following recs/summaries may contain light-to-moderate spoilers, though I try to keep things vague and rot13 the more specific stuff! Here is an abbreviated spoiler-free rec list, for the sensitive among you.

Night Vale Presents

The three non-WTNV shows have all finished their first seasons (and Alice Isn't Dead just started its second). They're relatively short and contain complete story arcs. 

WTNV: The ur-podcast, the light horror fiction narrative that kicked off the trend. Y'all know it or you don't. If you've somehow never heard it and don't want to start from the pilot, I recommend trying Episode 13; it's a stand-alone episode in a slightly different format than the rest, but it gives a good sense of WTNV's general aesthetic. Also it's just really really good.

Alice Isn't Dead: A surrealist horror roadtrip about a trucker searching for her wife Alice, who isn't dead. She's got nothing to lose and a lot of dangerous road to cover.

Orbiting Human Circus: Bizarre and magical and a little bit heartbreaking, like all good circuses should be. Julian is the janitor of a heavily fictionalized Eiffel Tower, and he desperately wants to be part of the Orbiting Human Circus show that he cleans up after every night.

Within the Wires: Dystopian sci-fi 1980s AU, told through a series of 'relaxation' cassettes. More grounded in reality than the others, though that's not saying much. The medium is also foregrounded much more in the narrative.

Hiatus

Wolf 359: SUPER dark, though you wouldn't know it from the first dozen episodes. However, the inflicting-trauma to coping-with-trauma ratio is low enough that I listened to the whole thing and will almost definitely listen to Season 4 when it's released starting this June. Also, no queerness whatsoever (making it unique on this list).  

Eos 10: Spaceship sitcom. Less artistically ambitious than most of the others on this list, which is not necessarily a point against it. 

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Newer sci-fi podcast that I absolutely love; it ticks all my very specific boxes (including medium-as-message) and is also just really well constructed and executed. I adore every single one of the main characters. There are only 4 episodes but I'm so hyped about it. 

The Bright Sessions: Audio files from a therapist to teens and young adults with superpowers. Everything I ever wanted X-Men to be: light on the fight scenes/explosions, heavy on exploring what it means to have superhuman powers and how that might affect your life/relationships.

The Penumbra Podcast: Cyberpunk noir pastiche that sometimes gets a little too broad for me but is generally good fun of the Thrilling Tales! variety.

Ars Paradoxica: Time travel in one of its more complex interpretations. Paradox is a major plot element. Kind of sci-fi historical fiction?

Now for the more detailed writeups, including overviews of queerness and genre. As I said before, potential spoilers are rot13′d...but Here There Be Dragons etc.

Night Vale Presents

All of these are incredibly solid shows with an otherworldly feel to them that I love, despite being otherwise quite different.

All main characters are queer; WTNV has queer side characters (including nonbinary characters), but afaik the only other explicitly queer characters in AID/ORC/WTW are love interests of the MCs. That's pretty understandable, though, given that the casts of the three non-WTNV shows are exponentially smaller, and they've aired significantly fewer episodes.

I want to mention something in a totally value-neutral way: none of the shows feature homophobia or directly discuss queerness (lowkey exception for one episode of WTNV). I actually enjoy that, personally; it's usually very restful to spend time in worlds where queerness is normalized and unremarkable. Occasionally, however, I do want a slightly more direct approach, so I wanted to make a note in case you're in that kind of mood. 

Welcome to Night Vale The first and only podcast I listened to for about a year. Honestly, do I even need to say anything about WTNV?  I do want to mention that I think it's gotten a little bogged down in continuity over the last year. AFAIK it wasn't conceived as a long-running narrative arc, and a lot of its early charm came from the total lack of context. After Year 2, I feel like it did start spending a little too much time explaining things and filling out backstory for elements that, frankly, didn't need them. YMMV ofc, and I still listen to/enjoy every new episode, but I'm not madly in love with Year 3 the way I was with Year 1-2. Queerness: Queer af! The main character gets a full same-sex romance arc; V'q pnyy vg 'unccl-raqvat' ohg vg'f fgvyy batbvat nf n ybivat naq urnygul eryngvbafuvc, juvpu vf rira orggre. Multiple side characters are queer, including a few nonbinary characters who use they/them pronouns.  Genre: tucking into a short stack at 2am in a diner in the American Southwest, slowly realizing that the woman behind the counter called you by name even though you've never been here before, and also you can't quite remember how you got here in the first place. Alice Isn't Dead Beautiful, creepy, and acted by the brilliant Jasika Nicole. I'd place this more firmly in the horror genre than the others, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, take note; there's some suspense and a little bit of violence. That said, I am usually MASSIVELY sensitive and can't even watch trailers for horror movies (I have made my peace with never ever seeing Get Out), and I was perfectly fine with it. Queerness: The main character is a woman married to Alice, who isn't dead. It's like the opposite of the Bury Your Gays trope. Genre: driving along a nameless interstate late at night, the world around you narrowed to the section of road thrown into sharp relief by your headlights, and the occasional glint of animal eyes. The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air ORC is the most fanciful of the Night Vale family. The other shows seem like they take place in realities just a shade off from ours, but ORC completely throws any pretense of realism out the window. There's no real sense of a world outside the Circus, and why should there be? The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air has an infinitude of fantastical delights: singing saws, a bird that can mimic (almost) a full orchestra, tap-dancing mice. There's no trick or sleight of hand involved, not even a dusty tome of magic spells. ORC simply presents a world in which these wonders exist in hidden corners. The story is sometimes melancholy, and there are regular hints of a deep sadness underneath the surface, but the main character is defined by his determination and...well, 'optimism' would be too strong a word, but he has an unyielding sense of hope. He doesn't actually think things will turn out well for him (and he's so often right about that), but he clings to the hope that this time, maybe it might. Queerness: Gur znva punenpgre nyyhqrf gb na rk-oblsevraq bapr. This is one of the lighter touches of queerness in the Night Vale family. Genre: peering through a dusty velvet curtain just offstage, while brightly-costumed creatures dance to a tune you haven't heard since you were a child. Within the Wires While all Night Vale Presents shows have some kind of narrative conceit framing the audio medium (community radio station, trucker radio transmissions, broadcast wish fulfillment), those tend to be vehicles for the story and stylistic flourishes, rather than core elements of the story itself. WtW is presented as audio cassettes on full-body relaxation, and the cassettes themselves become key actors. This is not a story that could be told in any other medium, which personally I freaking love. This is also a more sci-fi show than the others, despite being set in AU 1980s, and more blatantly dystopic. The world-building's a little more evident, which is neither a good thing nor a bad thing; I think it's a side effect of being more sci-fi than fantasy. Everything feels like it has an explanation, even if the explanation is not provided, and it all fits together smoothly. Also: the narrator has a mild kiwi accent, which I find incredibly soothing. Queerness: Yep. Gur znva punenpgre unf n pbzcyvpngrq ohg qrpvqrqyl abg cyngbavp (s/s) eryngvbafuvc jvgu gur jbzna gur gncrf ner vagraqrq sbe.  Genre: lying quietly in a sensory isolation tank until you inexplicably start crying for the first time in years.

On hiatus

Wolf 359 So, there are a couple voice actors in Wolf 359 that don't do a whole lot for me, performance-wise. I don't want to get more specific because YMMV and I'm also just a really picky audio consumer, but there you have it. Mostly it's not an issue, though. This is also one of the darker shows I listen to, although it starts out with more of a zany sitcom vibe. There's a fair amount of murder, murder attempts, and general people-being-horrible-in-ways-they-believe-to-be-justified. It's not something I think I could sit through again, but it is a captivating story told well. There's a lot of focus on the emotional arcs and characters dealing with trauma, which I am All About in sci-fi. 

Queerness: zero. Zip. Zilch. It doesn't feature any romance arcs at all, though, so...I found it tolerable. Honestly, if it hadn't come so highly recommended, I probably would not have given it a shot. Genre: placing your hand on a rusty, unmarked door that wasn't in the ship schematics, and knowing you must step through—you must step through. Eos 10 After my first pass at this write-up, I realized that I was being really negative—far more negative than this show deserves. So I want to be clear: I listened to and enjoyed every extant episode of Eos 10, and I'm looking forward to Season 3, whenever it's released. It's a pleasantly entertaining space sitcom and I've gotten attached to the characters; the writing's solid and the voice acting is generally pretty great. It's just not quite tailored to my specific tastes. Ok, back to what I originally wrote: This podcast feels a lot more mainstream/conventional in its tropes than the others. Unlike most of the podcasts I listen to, the medium is invisible to the characters: it's not pitched as a radio show or a voice recorder or a series of motivational tapes. To me, this adds another layer of remove between the audience and the story. It's fine, it's just very straightforward in its presentation, with no medium-specific conceit or anything. It’s not really outsider art in any sense, and could legitimately be a TV show if it had the budget. That's a pretty good description of the show as a whole, honestly. It makes no pretense at being high-concept, it just does what it does. Queerness: This one...is not very queer. One of the side characters is gay but it doesn't really come up a lot. There's also a gay minor character that gets mentioned but never appears, and it's kind of a running gag that the gay character has a thing for the main character, who insists he's straight. It's a gross trope and I kind of winced at it, but it's usually framed by other characters as "are you sure you're not interested, because [gay character] is way out of your league and you're really not going to do better," which mitigates it somewhat for me? Also, gurer ner uvagf gung gur znva punenpgre zvtug npghnyyl or vagrerfgrq va gur tnl punenpgre, but only time will tell whether it's queerbaiting or not. Look, it's not an ideal situation. If it’s a dealbreaker, I totally understand, especially since there's no clear answer to the "is this queerbaiting" question and due to some unfortunate creator health issues, we might not get one for a while. Genre: ducking out of the way as a harried-looking man in a lab coat and stethoscope pelts down the hallway, yelling "GET ME FIVE UNITS OF ALIEN SEX POLLEN, STAT!"

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

I love this show a disproportionate amount, given that only four episodes have aired. This is a newer podcast, and one I stumbled on completely by accident! I wasn't expecting much, but it was sci-fi and the main character's last name was Liu, so I decided to give it a shot. And then it turned out to be not only awesome but also totally queer! I think I actually said "HAH! YES!" out loud when the queerness was canonized within the first few minutes. (This is why I live alone.) Plus, this is a small thing from a throwaway line, but...the main character weighs roughly the same amount as I do. Do you know how often that happens with Asian characters? Never, is how often. For possibly the first time in my life, I feel like I can legitimately headcanon a main character who looks exactly like me. I'm definitely going to do some incredibly self-indulgent fanart at some point. Unprecedented overidentifying with the main character aside: honestly, it's like this podcast was tailor-made for me. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 1 (and kind of 2): Vafrpher ovbybtvfg wbvaf ent-gnt perj bs fzhttyref jvgu n sbhaq-snzvyl ivor naq nyvra phygheny pynfurf, nyy senzrq va n fvavfgre zrgnaneengvir gung hfrf gur zrqvhz nf n cybg qrivpr, CYHF cbgragvny ebznapr orgjrra na Rnfg Nfvna jbzna naq n Fbhgu Nfvna jbzna? Um, sign me the fuck up.  The only downside is that this has definitely raised my expectations for new podcasts by an unreasonable amount. Every new podcast I've tried since Starship Iris has been vaguely disappointing. My podcast standards are way too high now, and it's all Starship Iris's fault.

Queerness: YES. The main character is a queer woman, there's a nonbinary alien species and the alien crew member uses they/them pronouns, and there's a trans guy. Also, this is wild speculation, but V guvax/oryvrir/ubcr gung bar bs gur bgure srznyr perj zrzoref vf orvat frg hc nf n ebznagvp vagrerfg sbe gur znva punenpgre. There's some explicit discussion of gender identity in a non-traumatic way which tbh is like water in the freaking desert.

Genre: ??? it's too new and I love it too much to assign it a genre. 

The Bright Sessions

As I said in the spoiler-free summary: this is everything I wanted X-Men to be. Hell, it's everything I ever want superhero stories to be, and it's why I've been drawn to superhero stories since I was a teenager. The Bright Sessions deals with the complex consequences of, e.g., having empathy powers as a teenager while learning how to manage your own emotions and maturity. The main character is Dr. Bright, a therapist specializing in people with superpowers, which naturally provides the perfect angle for those people to get really navel-gazey about their lives. There is an actual overarching plot with a shadowy government agency, of course, but that's definitely not what I'm here for and luckily that’s clearly just a vehicle for the feelings.

Queerness: One of the main characters has a m/m romance arc; another main character is asexual; a side character (who may soon be considered a main character?) is bisexual. Because the conceit is therapy sessions, Dr. Bright does inquire delicately about how her patients may or may not be coping with emerging/existing queer identities, but none of them find it traumatic.

Genre: telekinetically fiddling with a desk puzzle limned in afternoon sun, as the doctor asks: "And how does that make you feel?"

The Penumbra Podcast

I'd had the Penumbra Podcast on my radar/subscriptions list for a while, but I'd never quite finished the first episode...until the remastered/rewritten first story was released. The difference is astronomical. The creators talk about audio quality etc. in their reasoning for recreating the first story, but for me, the main distinction is the skill in storytelling and the confidence to create noir without relying on questionable tropes to signal "hard-boiled!!!" I sometimes think the writing and characterizations are a little broad, but that may be down to genre. Penumbra doesn't really go for 'subtle' or 'realistic.' An important format note: there's a main character with episodic adventures, but in between the two-part adventures, there are one-shots in various genres. I actually skipped most of the one-shots because I'm not great with horror or kid stories.

Queerness: The main character of the main story is queer (jvgu na qryvtugshyyl rzbgvbanyyl pbafgvcngrq z/z ebznapr nep gung'f abg va n terng cynpr evtug abj), as are numerous side characters. It's a noir pastiche, though, so the main character is pretty self-sabotaging in all areas of his life; a 'happy ending' doesn't seem incredibly likely. One of the stand-alone stories is a queer Western, which I found delightful. It's also one of the few stand-alone stories that has a bonus follow-up episode.

Genre: taking a long, slow drag on a cigarette as the rain blurs the neon lights and filth of the alien city below.

Ars Paradoxica

Ars Paradoxica shares a producer with The Bright Sessions, which is why I tried it! Like all decent time travel stories, Ars Paradoxica is meticulously planned with a lot of moving parts. The worldbuilding is intense and requires actually paying attention, which can be challenging for me since I typically listen to podcasts while multitasking.  Frankly, it moves a little slow for me...which is odd to say about a show that regularly has timeskips of months or years and literally involves time travel. I guess I feel that way because there's a lot of attention paid to the action and plot, but less to the emotional character arcs. And obviously my narrative preferences run a certain way, so I'm only really paying attention to the character stuff. Which, to be fair, certainly exists and is carried through well—it's just not in my preferred proportions. Plus, the cast is quite sprawling compared to most other podcasts, and the tone is almost Crapsack World but not quite. 

Queerness: The main character is explicitly asexual and briefly explains it, and there are a handful of queer side characters. It's semi-historical, and there's some discussion of managing visibility etc. 

Genre: staring into the dusty gears of a massive clock running backwards as the minute hand slowly approaches a blinking red light.