#also I wanna leave the US! and idk where in the US I’d even go if I went to college here

[actualnymph]

has anyone gone to another country for college? lmk

[i-smoke-chapstick]

Okay I think I’ve finally come up with a plot for that jervis story I was telling you about. This is pretty long- I’m sorry 😭

Basically could follow the same plots as the ‘come on Eileen’ story with an age gap but obv themed for Jervis’s character. For the sake of everything, since this could be already dark-ish, instead of Alice being his sister, she’s his coworker. Very similar story tied with the btas version. Anyways continuing that, let’s say reader is Jim and Barbara’s kid all the way from episode 1 when they were still in there couple era (I miss it 😔). Jim had custody over reader when Barbara was sent to Arkham but once she’s out and running the sirens club, her and Jim come to an agreement for the sake of the reader to co-parent. Reader is about 10-13 during that time and then jumping to like season 3 with jervis being introduced, reader is around 17-19 (I’m not sure if this is the realistic time jump but whatever). During the first episode with how Barbara introduces tabby to jervis, imagine that same scenario but with reader also present. Jervis realizes how much reader reminds him of the book version of Alice with their curiosity, ambition, etc. I’d like to imagine Barbara finds it cute in a way similar with that one fix you did when jervis was leaving stuff for the reader while tabby is like “Stay away from the baby 😡”.

Now when Alice gets killed, we know jervis makes him go through all these games of killing and stuff and then he has to choose the one he loves. Instead of Val, it’s reader. As much as Jervis doesn’t want to hurt his current crush, he tries to be nicer about it and shoots them where the bullet won’t damage them as bad?? Idk where else I’m goin with this lol. I’ll let you come up with whatever else you wanna do. Be creative if you’d like.

I’d say basically it follows the plot of season 3 but without Alice and reader is present.

Thank you Cupid 🙏🖤

'DON'T BLAME ME, [PART ONE]

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Everything's always the same in Gotham. Hard to imagine things changing.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! Not sure how many chapters this will be yet! LOTS OF PLOT SET-UP!! AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is Jim and Barbara's daughter) Readers got trauma. Reader's also a cynic and dissociating. She fell first, he fell harder. Writing this kind of artistically and as character studies for everyone. Jervis being an obsessive freak, per usual. Jervis and reader are soulmates, not just in his head but in real life! More about reader is revealed as the story goes on. I'm taking canon out back and beating it with a stick until it stops twitching.

⋆ tag list (tell me if you want to be removed!) @adalwolfgang @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @honestmrdual @moonlightnyx

⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - ‘PART THREE, - ‘PART FOUR, - ‘PART FIVE, - ‘PART SIX, - 'PART SEVEN, - 'PART EIGHT, - 'PART NINE, -'PART TEN, - 'PART ELEVEN, - 'PART TWELVE, - 'PART THIRTEEN, - 'PART FOURTEEN,

Special thanks to @adalwolfgang for giving me the idea for this fic <3 really really excited to make this multichapter !!

♫ “Echoes of your name inside my mind / Halo, hiding my obsession.” Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift

You feel like your ten again, staring into space, watching the passerby's from inside a Gala. You're mother used to take you there, when you're dad wasn't available.

You sometimes miss it, even though you used to complain. You hated just sitting there, hours on end, seeing rich people dance; like there weren't people being murdered on the street two blocks down. Maybe you took after your father in that aspect. It was a curse.

Your mom used to do your hair. You remember the way she finger-twirled your curls, gasping as she looked in the mirror. Eyes wide, she always said the same thing.

"Look at you, you're gorgeous!" You'd laugh and hit her on the shoulder, young and innocent. Sometimes, you'd make a mess of her lipsticks and bronzer. You'd try on her dresses which were far too tall for your young stature.

The sound of yelling rips you away from your thoughts.

This place isn't a gala. It's a club. And you didn't get ready with your mom, you got ready in the morning, waking up alone in your dads house.

You watch the two men argue from across the bar. You're cradling a drink; unsure what to do with it. Selina had stole it for you, somehow. You didn't ask questions anymore. You'd known her since you were eleven and she was eight. You didn't really like to drink. She knew that. You don't know where she ran off too.

Mindlessly stirring your glass in your palm, you can't help but squint under the bright blue lights. This place...it's not your first choice of where you'd like to be right now. Never is.

You hear a feminine voice calling you to the front of the club, and you can already guess who it is. You haven't seen her in a little over a week, not that it matters.

You decide to down your drink anyway. Who cares.

Pushing your way through the crowds of Gothamites, you notice the stage light up. Your mother and Tabitha stand in grand dresses. Tabitha's resting, one arm on the bar, looking effectively bored out of her mind. Your mother, on the contrary, looks utterly pleased. You fight the urge to snort.

There's a man on the stage. Long hair, cat-like smile. Your eyes follow the contours of his cheek bones. He's spouting something about waking up from an animal-identity. You're frankly lost, staring into his dark eyes. They look pitch black.

Sounds of clapping arise from the back. You simply suck your teeth. Someone new comes into the club everyday with a different act. This guy certainly wasn't any different.

"A magician? Really?" Tabitha asks, interrupting your thoughts. She sounds displeased and confounded, unsure what to make of Barbara's smile.

"Hypnotist." Your mom answers, correcting her. Ah, so thats what he is. You think. Couldn't hypnotize himself to have a better act? You almost make yourself laugh. Barbara mistakes it for agreeance.

"See! I like him! Y/N likes him!" Barbara chimes, smile lighting up to be a bit more genuine at your laugh. "Like mother like daughter. Plus, the place is packed. Be happy." She waves her drink around. Tabitha still looks peeved.

You want to correct her, but the words 'like mother like daughter' make bile rise in your throat. You don't speak.

"Just a taste, ladies and gentlemen." The man purrs, pulling your attention to him. That dark stare of his never once leaves the crowd. "But now...let us venture into something more arcane."

His eyes drift to you in the crowd, and it feels like a jolt of electricity. You wonder if he feels it too. He must have, since he cocks his head, pausing in his words for a little too long. His brows furrow, until the crowd begins to murmur. It's awfully intense.

You tear your gaze away to look at your mom, wondering if she was who he was looking at instead. It would certainly make more sense, given they must've been around the same age. But as soon as your gaze leaves his, the man clears his throat, and goes right back to speaking.

"The hell was that?" Tabitha whispers to me, and my mind goes blank.

"...No clue."

We watch the rest of the act, intrigued. He makes a man stand on the back of a chair, which definitely does not obey the laws of physics whatsoever. I can see why some people might find this amusing.

Your mom does bring up a good question though.

"So you could get him to do anything you wanted?" She asks, abet too excitedly. You want to roll your eyes. When you were younger, she would've made fun of this guy with you.

The man looks between the two of us, and you squint your eyes.

"Did you have something in mind, Ms. Kean?" He asks, and her gaze darkens. You feel a little sick.

As the act finishes, the man takes one too many bows, but the crowd eats it up. That blinding blue light still bounces off his face. Something about it is...unsettling. You notice it more as he stalks towards the three of you.

"Very impressive, Mr. Tetch." Your mom compliments. Mr. Tetch, huh. Well, you finally have a name for the man. "You have quite the gift. But you didn't answer my question. Can you make people do anything you tell them to do?" She speaks, slowly. Mr. Tetch looks flattered at the praise.

He clicks his tongue. "Only things they secretly wish to do," he remarks, eyes falling on me once more. "It's surprising what people will wish for," His eye contact remains on you, voice getting quieter. "Secretly. Deep down." He repeats.

Your mother makes a sound akin to a pleased hum. Tabitha looks between the man and you, and she looks less than amused.

"True," Tabitha speaks, pushing you to the side a bit. You watch as his gaze leaves yours, and snaps up to her. There's a ghost of a scowl on both of their faces that suddenly makes you confused. "You must be a very popular man."

She takes a swig out of her drink as she says the words, a bit sarcastically. Mr. Tetch, or whatever his name is, doesn't falter in his resolve. He instead offers a polite chuckle.

"Oh, I wish. Parties like this help pave my way, so, thank you."

"And you're new to Gotham?" Your mom asks.

"Yes...just arrived from up north."

"You have a place to stay?" Tabitha asks, head cocked. You begin to feel a bit embarrassed, heat rising in your clothes. They're asking the guy way too many questions. And he's a new comer. Poor man probably doesn't know a thing.

Before the man can answer, you butt in.

"Let the man breathe." You huff, and all three of them look at you in unison. Eyes-narrowed on you, the man blinks. Barbara looks at you, surprised, and Tabitha glares daggers.

Silence surrounds the four of you, and you shiver uncomfortably.

"Just saying." You mumble. Barbara raises an eyebrow.

"You'll have to excuse her. This is my daughter, Y/N."

Jervis's face lights up in realization.

"Ah, I see." He remarks, taking your hand. Tabitha instinctively steps close, watching the way he takes it. He presses a soft kiss to your knuckles. "Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Y/N."

"Thank you," You say, softly, looking into his eyes. It really does feel like time stops. You can understand why people are hypnotized by him.

Tabitha finally steps in between you two, as Barbara watches the interaction with vague intrigue. He drops your hand with some reluctance. You don't blame him.

"I think you should get going." Tabitha says, firm. The man simply nods.

"Very well. Enjoy your night." He speaks. "Ms. Kean, Ms. Y/N." He bids one last nod of goodbye, before turning on his heel.

[krosiefics]

hotel strangers • bangchan [strangers to admirers]

Wc: 2.2k

Summary: Stray Kids goes on a vacation and even on vacation Chan still wants to work. So not being able to focus with the boys in his room he heads down to the hotel’s small cafe in the lobby, where a girl asks if she can sit near him. He leaves her with his hoodie with a little note after she falls asleep.

Tags: fluff, afab!reader, idol!bangchan, changing pov, bangchan is such a softie, he’s so kind :(, influencer!reader, student!reader, basically y/n is an student influencer (slay), workaholic!chan, strangers to admirers(?), idk sorry if I missed one.

This is also my first time publishing anything on tumblr so not rlly sure how it works yet…BUT GO CHECK OUT MY AO3 lol it’s linked at the bottom…I think

Bangchan

“Are we good?” Felix asks in a deep voice, shielding his face from the other hotel guests in the world, our manager nods at us handing us a room key. “Okay, I’ll get the others, you get the bags.” Felix complies and goes towards the cart with all our luggages. “Hey, we’re good.” I say giving a thumbs up to the boys as I walk up to them. “Great,” Seungmin sighs, “I can finally dump myself onto a bed.” I chuckle at his words and gather Hyunjin and Changbin.

“Hyung,” Jeongin pokes at me, I look at him hoping that he just tells me and doesn’t make me guess, “that baby is so cute.” I look over in the direction where he’s pointing, there is a little boy around three or four, yanking an older girl by her clothes, the girl tugs at it so that he doesn’t expose her skin. I chuckle at their interaction, and agree with Jeongin that the kid is cute.

“Chris, wait!” The girl says quickly chasing the little boy who is now tugging at my hoodie. “Huh?” I look up at her in response to my name being called- oh…the kid, right.

“Sorry about him,” the girl apologizes quickly, I just see her soft eyes from behind the face mask she’s wearing. Me still wearing mine, I smile at her- forgetting that she can’t see it but at least she’ll see my eyes- “No, no, no,” I wave it off, “he’s little it’s okay.”

“Hey buddy.” I smile at him, as I squat down to his level, his eyes scan my face looking for a sense of safety (even though he came up tugging my hoodie). He suddenly beams at me. He waves back shyly before tugging at the girl's hand, “Hungry, Auntie.” He pouts and signs to his mouth what I’d assume is ‘eat’ in sign language. His sister chuckles down at him before taking his hand, she apologetically bows once more before walking off with her little brother.

“He was so cute, hyung.” Jeongin coos as the two walk away towards the small cafe in the lobby area. I roll my eyes at him in a playful manner before gathering the others once more and making our way up stairs.

After showering and eating a few granola bars, I plop in front of the desk that’s in the hotel room and open my laptop, looking at the samples of music and lyrics I have written on the notes app. “Hey Channie hyung.” Jisung plops onto the bed, I hum at him in acknowledgment, “Minho, Changbin and Hyunjin are coming over to watch some TV and maybe play some Switch,” he says as he fiddles with the game console in his hands, “wanna play?”

“No gonna work.” Jisung pouts at me, but nonetheless turns on the TV at low volume and flips through the different channels available.

A few moments later there’s knocking at the door which only signifies that the others have arrived. A few more moments passed, I decided to put on my headphones to muffle the noise of the guys yelling and laughing, but it’s useless. I grow so agitated and annoyed at the sound, I’d never snap at them to shut up. So I just simply pick up my work stuff, shove it in a bag, and leave.

As I’m waiting in the elevator, I sigh, not knowing how to complete these lyrics or how to add the bit of snare and drum me and Changbin had sampled into the song.

I reach the lobby area and scan for a table, I remember the cafe area at the back of the hotel. I pull my hoodie over my head, covering my face. Shuffling out of the elevator to avoid any unwanted attention. I chose the back of the long table that lined the wall, so I’m further away from the ruckus that is still happening in the lobby at 11pm.

Y/N

“Augh.” I groan as I drag myself out of my hotel room with my backpack in hand. I’m so tired right now, I don’t wanna go study- ugh but I guess I’m grateful that my professor let me off with having an important event to go to. A notification pinged at my phone, I reached down to check it- another follower…wow great.

I scroll through my Instagram page and look at all the views I get on my hair transformation videos. I closed my eyes, why did I ever wanna be an influencer again?

I pushed the elevator button and it coincidentally was already on my floor. I walk in and head towards the lobby. As the elevator doors open, I’m met with so many people still in the lobby in bright colored outfits. Guess they’re going partying, I shrug to myself.

I sit near the front end of this insanely long table that lined the wall.

Opening my backpack, I connect my headphones to my phone and I slam my textbooks down onto the table and start reading through them. I do my best to block out the noise of the people in the lobby- but I can’t, they’re so freaking loud, with their laughter and their excited shouting. Ugh!

I pick up my stuff and move towards the solemn corner area where one guy seems to be studying too. I place my stuff a few seats away from him. I guess it might be disrespectful not to ask him if I can sit near him. I walk over and lightly tap his shoulder, he looks up and brings his hand to his ear to take off one of his headphones. “Sorry, can I sit here? It’s too loud over there to study.”

“Oh sure,” He smiles at me, “that’s the same reason I came over here.” He looks familiar, I don’t know from where- oh that’s right, from the lobby with Chris. I thank him before going back to my sitting area and begin my torturous studying yet again.

I sit back comfortably on the booth-like chair, pull my headphones back over my ears and log into my university’s website where I can rewatch pre-recorded lessons on the day's subject.

Bangchan

My eyes flicker over to the girl that’s sitting near me, I recognized her as the girl in the lobby with the baby from earlier. Her soft eyes gave it away. She’s hunched over jotting stuff down in her textbook while simultaneously scanning the computer screen. I guess she’s studying.

I recenter my attention on my task at hand, the laptop screen filled with different beats and random lyrics that popped into my brain at the most random times, they’re just…everywhere on the laptop. I have so many tabs open and so many notes as well. I’m so tired already. It’s been a while since that girls been sitting there…how long? I glance at the clock on my screen, 1:24 am. Damn.

I bury my face into my palms, digging at my eyes that are threatening to close at any second.

Suddenly loud shrieks snap me out of my drifting, I look up and see two excited girls rushing my way. Oh God, did they recognize me? But my mask and hoodie are on. As the girls approached, they stood in front of the girl next to me. “Are you the Y/N?!” One of them says enthusiastically, “Huh,” The girl squints at them before shaking her head, “no, yeah I am…why?” At that, two girls squeal even more, they start rambling on how they love her Instagram reels and how they wish she could style their hair. The girl, Y/N, looks tired but tries her best to respectfully get them to leave her be. About twenty minutes later they finally leave and the tired girl slumps in her chair.

“Sorry about that,” She speaks up, I look up at her confused, “you probably wanted quiet too.” She continues with a weak tired smile, I wave her off, “It’s fine really,” I smile reassuringly, “I thought they were coming towards me if I’m being honest.” Her brows furrowed in confusion, “You an influencer too?” I chuckle lightly at that and nod slightly, “I guess you could say that.”

“What’s your name?” She smirks.

“Chris or Chan, either one really.”

“Y/N.” She states before smiling to herself and turning back to her laptop.

We both go back to the work we had previously been doing. An hour later a thump sound made me look up, Y/N had slumped on her computer and fallen asleep. I rub my eyes and stretch my arms over my head, I tap my phone screen to check the time yet again, it’s almost 3 am. The screen filled with notifications from Jisung and Changbin wondering where I was this whole time. I text them back that I’ll be up in a bit. I glance back over at Y/N, I shouldn’t just leave her here.

The A/C unit rumbled overhead causing her to flinch slightly as cold air blew towards her, she didn’t wake though. I quickly remove my hoodie and place it over her body. I still couldn’t just leave her here, I took a small piece of paper she had scattered on the table, scribbled something before putting it in the pocket of my hoodie.

“God where is she?” A voice suddenly neared us, I flinched away from her, pretending to pick up my stuff. “There you are! Y/N! Sis, wake up.” The girl lightly shook her awake, Y/N stirred in her sleep not wanting to get. I finish packing up my stuff and put my headphones over my ears again before getting up and hoping that that girl is actually Y/N’s sister. Guilt tok over me, imagining something bad would happen to her if she wasn't her sister, so I waited around the corner.

“What’re you doing here?” I heard Y/N say groggily, “You said you would be gone for two hours- it’s been four!” “Okay, okay.” She shuffles, the sound of paper rustling signaled to me that she’s getting her stuff together. ‘She knows her then.’ I think to myself before heading towards the elevator.

While waiting I hear their voices again.

“Oh I guess he left.”

“Who?”

“The guy who was sitting next to me..he was sweet.” Y/N yawned, “When did I get this hoodie?”

The elevator doors and I got in quickly closing it before they could catch up to it. Why is my face feeling so warm? Ugh, my stupid heart’s beating so fast.

Y/N

“When did I get this hoodie?” I yawned, touching the material that wasn’t on me prior to me sleeping. “I was gonna ask you that, you’re more of a flannel and cardigan kinda girl.” My sister, Megan, snorted. I shrug, shoving my hands into the pockets as we walk towards the elevator.

“Damn, one just left.” Megan quirks as she presses the up button. A small piece of paper rubs against my fingers, “There’s something in here.” Megan just hums at me, curiosity taking over, I pull the folded paper out, unfolding it and scanning the words scribbled on the page.

Get back to your room safe, good night.

It was nice meeting you Y/N -Chan

I smile fondly at the note, though something else caught my eye. Under his name it had an @ for Instagram. I pull out my phone from my pants pocket and quickly open the app. ‘What am I doing!? You literally spoke to him once- twice the entire time you were there! But he was cute- Y/N NO- but…’ My mind shouted and questioned many things but I nonetheless typed the username and followed the private account.

I smiled to myself as Megan and I finally reached our hotel room.

After showering I plop down on my bed ready to submerge myself into the happy depths of sleep but my phone lighting up had different plans.

I reached over to flip it upside down when an Instagram notification saying that @CBahngC accepted my follow and followed me back.

Like the weirdo I am, I look through his most recent photos and smile to myself when I see pictures of him smiling with his friends.

Wow, he really is good-looking.

I feel warmth spread through my cheeks at the thought.

The little message icon had a red dot, signifying that I had a DM flashed on the screen. I opened it with a smile, as my heart skipped a tiny beat.

CBahngC: Hi :)

Thanks for reading…this is actually on ao3 if you wanna show it some love over there as well :3

[sol-st1ce]

FATESWAP info dump time woah

Ok im gonna be 99% less mysterious and freaky than i am w/ EternalNight!Verse bcus FATESWAP mostly focuses on the present events of Underverse 0.0-0.8 :3c

I really really wanna talk about Arrow first though cus he’s one of my favourite freaks

This is Arrow, he fits in the role of Cross in FATESWAP; what made him take this role was the skirmish between X!Frisk & Cross , where instead of holding back Cross accidentally goes too far and shoots X!Frisk’s eye

vvv This point exactly vvv

This’d cause them to go ballistic and everything else pretty much goes like how it originally does in XTale but it’s Frisk who genocides everyone; and in retaliation (and bcus he’s heavily wounded) X!Gaster takes away the world making it seem like he’s actually gone but also trapping Arrow in the process. (Barring the Vessel/Arrow from using OVERWRITE)

Most of the story goes the same; except Ink is subbed in for Core!Frisk (who’s referred to as Omega), who eventually asks Arrow to go to the Omega Timeline, but he refuses.

So Omega leaves him be for an extended period of time. Making him feel like Omega abandoned him, which they sort-of did but not intentionally.

One day Mr. E (Error) pulls up to Arrow’s crib and takes half of his soul , this being before he became a ‘good guy’ so 😞

Arrow eventually takes actions and convinces Frisk (or ‘Player’) to let him spend the last moments he had with his family; of course Player obliges but it was really a ploy to get Player’s guard down and take their soul.

Omega, Player and Arrow get into a confrontation but Arrow managed to get away by the skin of his teeth.

-

He likes churros, Mettaton variants (both the TV and funny guys) , and small groups of people.

He hates being referred to as Frisk, VII, prototype or anything else of the sort.

If I remember right, I think Arrow’s whole arc is about like “Are my emotions even real?” Because, well, Savitr (Dream) and Ratri (Nightmare) are the embodiments of Positivity and Negativity, so they pretty much… are feeling?? If that makes sense so he’s here wondering if anything he feels is real or if they’re just a byproduct of another being. Because the only thing he feels is individual about himself is his emotions. And if they aren’t even real, then, what is he?

What is he fighting for if he’ll never have true freedom?

Speaking of his emotions :3c

Ultimately, it’d be his and X!Chara’s combined, visceral hate, for everything and everyone around him that’d get him out of XTale after he’d taken Player’s soul. As it’d draw a certain silly guy in … Savitr… who’s subbing in for Nightmare.

What happens is that Arrow hets sent to Underswap (instead of Underfell) for a silly reconnaissance mission :3c and to get Azure (Swap) but things go awry and Arrow gets into a skirmish with either Swap!Muffet or w/ Azure

gang i kinda want to have Swap!Muffet in place of Fell!Sans but i have a lot of art + ideas w/ Azure already 😞

I think I’d spend more time with Arrow doing missions w/ Savitr and (potentially) Rellik but idk

MY OHONE’S GETTING LAGGY AND IDK WHAT ELSE TO WRITE SO HERE’S THE REST OF THE ARROW ART that’s cool :3c

[bibellebibuck]

Finale Thoughts

This is a long ramble that I’ve attempted to categorise and form into something coherent - but bear with me if there’s any mistakes, I’m working rn and didn’t have time to proofread🙏🏻

HENREN & MADNEY

I adore Madney and how inherently GOOD they are all the damn time. My favourite straights ever.

I know there’s differing opinions on this plot line but honestly I am glad that Madney are fostering Mara, for Maras sake. It’s a safe space her for where she’ll be loved and can keep in contact with Henren.

I do agree, though, that the constant struggles they put Henren through as they try to build their family is getting old and tired now, let them off the struggle bus, it’s time for a breather.

It’s a testament to how rushed this episode was that we didn’t even SEE the councilwoman at all. She just drops this bomb on the Henren family last episode and then disappears? No follow up? Okay.

My thoughts/hopes on these guys for S8 are; Madney will be left as they are once the Mara storyline is resolved (which I think won’t take long after the whole Gerrard situation is sorted) as they’ve had a lot going on with their wedding etc. I think they’ll be put aside for a while while other characters stories are expanded this season. I think it’s a possibility we’ll get another Buckley-Han baby after they see the sibling dynamic between Mara and Jee. Afterall, it was Maddie who commented on Denny and Mara “getting along so well” “like siblings”.

Henren specifically id like to see more of, I want Karen and DENNY! to have more screentime. Karen’s job is fucking interesting, SHOW US MORE SOMEHOW!! And Denny, what’s going on with his relationship with his dad now? This kids a great actor, give him a little more screen time.

BATHENA & AMIR

Now, Athena was bad ASS this episode. I love BAMF Athena with all my heart, that’s literally my mother. Her talk with Amir was emotional and I think well written (one of the few well written moments in this episode..) but it all went downhill from there. Amir’s rescue was rushed as fuck, I wasn’t tense at all, Athena basically showed up, burnt the place down and sauntered out with Amir like it was nothing. Ofc my girl is capable of this no problem… but it wouldn���t have hurt to have had more of a fight scene, maybe Amir being a little more proactive, then show them struggling to get out of the fire? Idk. Just SOMETHING to expand on the scene a little. I did like “I’m Mrs Bobby Nash” though, hell yeah you are <3

Oh also Yay! May sighted!! Love my girl, wanna see more of her in S8 I miss her sooo much :(

For S8, I think Bathenas marriage issues should be gently explored a little more, i feel this plot line wasn’t properly resolved during the cruise eps? Idk maybe I’m just a nervous child of divorce but I’d like to see some of their trust issues put to rest. I mean, just an episode ago Athena was terrified Bobby was going to off himself, and Bobby literally retired without telling her. It’s not healthy, I wanna see them work it out and get stronger together. I don’t want more conflict between them to cause this though, maybe they just start up a conversation when things have calmed down and agree to talk it out or go to couples therapy or something. Leaving them where they are right now will feel like a dropped plot line.

I want to see more of Amir but I sincerely doubt we will, I have a feeling he won’t even be seen in S8 at all to be honest. It’s a shame, he’s an interesting character that I’d totally love the see explored more. Someone suggested he could be a connection opportunity for the hospital? I like that. Tim, take notes !!

I also want them to stop murdering Angela Bassets hair. Let her slay, please.

BUDDIE

I wish I had more to say here, but sadly… I don’t. My heart is telling me we’ve been gently queer baited once again, but I think that’s just old scars hurting (Destiel and johnlock survivor ✊🏻), my head is telling me a lot of the hype was stirred up by us as fans giving journalists and actors comments a little too much credit.

This isn’t to say I don’t think Buddie is happening, i still have my naive little belief that if WILL be canon eventually. They’re just going to drag it out as long as possible for the drama and possibly to appease Those fans, and the older viewer base who won’t be pleased by buddie canon.

I was very disappointed by the scene after Chris left, where Buck just put his hand on Eddies shoulder. We can say all we like that the shoulder touch is Their Thing™️ but in that situation a hug was absolutely goddamn necessary. Idc about shipping, that man needed a hug from his best friend in that moment. I think Buck needed it too. They just said goodbye to their son for an indefinite amount of time ffs why are we standing here like absolute mugs.

S8 - I want gay Eddie this season. I want it.

I want gay Eddie and then I want them both to be single for a while and Then I want buddie. If they can fit this into season 8 while keeping a nice steady pace (I have little faith after this insanely rushed finale, but let’s give them the benefit of the short season doubt) then I want Buddie feelings realisation towards the end of S8.. possibly setting up canon for S9 or even ending S8 with canon and a cliffhanger.. maybe a good one this time though!

As much as I’d like to see Buck supporting Eddie as he navigates life without Christopher, I don’t think we’ll get many scenes between them at first. I think this is where Ryan is talking about Eddies isolation. He’s going to go to work, be with his family, then go home and be without his family, and it’s at this time that he’s going to be working on himself. To get better for Chris, and for his own mental health. This journey is his alone, and I think it (although a little painful) makes sense that Buck isn’t involved in this too much.

EDDIE & CHRIS

To sum it up.. OUCH!

Eddie is an amazing father, and if you think otherwise just block me. He made a mistake with Kim, that does not make him a bad father. Him respecting Christopher’s space and choices in this ep was soooo healing and lovely to see, he called Buck because he knows Chris trusts and loves him and needed somebody to talk to, and knew he wasn’t the person for that right now.

I’ve seen some people bothered about how it’s unrealistic for the Diaz parents to have gotten to eddies so fast after the incident. To this I say, how are you not used to 911s complete disregard for timelines/timeline realism at this point? Just let it happen and move on, like it’s a fantasy land where time isn’t real. Now, I’m not American so maybe I don’t get the extent of the distance between LA/Texas - but still, I enjoy the show more I think, because I don’t overanalyse the timeline 😅

What I DO find unrealistic is that Chris would call his grandparents and not Buck. I’m not looking at this through shipping lenses either, I’m saying that when Eddie had his breakdown, Chris’s first instinct was to call Buck. When Chris was upset and scared at the Ana situation, he went straight to Buck. And now this, he doesn’t talk to Buck at all before calling his grandparents?

It makes sense that he wanted to go to Texas as if he stayed with Buck he wouldn’t really be getting much space from his dad, and maybe he’d be thinking that Buck/Eddie would be on his case trying to force forgiveness on him while he’s there. But I think he first instinct would still have been to Call Buck to discuss the situation first, to confide in him, ask for help. Then he’d call his grandparents.

For S8 - I hate to be a downer but I don’t think we’ll see Chris this season. At LEAST the entirely of 8a, anyways.

As I mentioned earlier, I think this season will show Eddie growing and healing from this situation and becoming the person he wants to be, for himself and for Chris.

I think there is a lot of potential for us to finally get some Eddie & Maddie scenes, she could open a conversation with Eddie about her own struggles with feeling like an unfit parent for Jee - maybe Buck initiates this conversation, asking Maddie to speak to him?

I hope he will finally be able to put his insecurities about his parenting aside and stop trying to find Chris a mother figure, and accept that they’re a fine (wonderful, even) family unit as they are.

BUMMY / BT

Ooooohhh lord let’s get into it then.

It’s no secret that I hate this relationship. I do NOT hate it because I am a Buddie shipper, or because I’m homophobic (the fact that I have to clarify this is stupid, but the anon hate in my inbox means it’s necessary). When BiBuck became canon, I was OVERJOYED! I was excited to see Buck exploring his identity and enjoying a relationship with a new partner (I did want him to be single for a while originally, but it wasn’t a big deal, the Natalia relationship was barely a relationship anyways).

I initially had a bit of an ick from the way Tk kissed Buck to ~shut him up~ but I’m a bit of a hypocrite here because I don’t entirely hate this trope usually, but only when it’s between two well established characters who know each other well. At this point, Tk is still new to Buck so it did bother me a little. But, we move.

Then… the first date. I fucking hated this date, Tk almost outed Buck and then left him on the pavement like an a class ASS. I lost all interest in this relationship at this exact moment.

In this episode, on this date, we see Buck opening up about his relationship with Bobby as a father figure (WIN!! Let’s appreciate our small victories!!). Tk then gives us “but your fathers alive” which ?? What’s your point?? Why aren’t you comforting your partner right now?

And shared his own experience with having a shitty dad. We then get the daddy issues joke.

To detour for a moment; we all remember when Buck went to therapy and opened up about his sex addiction, right? How he was being vulnerable about his trauma/mental health, to the point that he was in actual tears… and then his therapist came onto him and slept with him. The show brushes this under the rug and even later makes a joke about it. We’ve all expressed our distaste for this in the past and rightly so. Aside from how morally wrong it was, it was also incredibly distasteful in a very real way.

We’re given a very close repeat of this situation in the finale. Tommy sexualising Bucks trauma is not only unfair on bucks character, but also a shitty slap in the face to real people in the real world too. How many times have we been sexualised for having “daddy issues”? The answer is a lot. This scene was Downright Offensive.

It’s so disappointing because in some ways this show is so progressive, and has handled some sensitive topics in such a great way in the past. But it’s really fumbled the bag with this one.

A large and hopeful part of me thinks all these tense/awkward/unhappy/unsatisfying BT scenes are a setup for BT bones in S8. If they wanted us to like Tk and be invested in this relationship, SURELY they’d make him more likeable & more supportive of Buck?

The awfulness of his character and the stilted scenes between him and Buck do feel intentional. And I reaaallly hope this is the case.

S8 - preferably, BT Bones off screen before the season even begins, Natalia style.

More likely, BT bones within 8a, due to Gerard’s return and the tension this will cause between him and Tk.

Most likely, BT bones by the end of 8b. I truly truly truly, with all my heart and head and hands, do not believe BT is surviving to season 9.

BUCK

just wanted to put in a little paragraph here about Buck specially, piggybacking off of what I’ve said about his trauma being sexualised etc.

They have consistently missed opportunities to flesh out Bucks trauma, and he has MANY to choose from. If they continue to ignore this aspect of Buck, it will be a great disservice to his character. I know we all joke about wanting Buck to go through more shit situations for the angst, and how we want him to have a big breakdown at some point but honestly - it really is overdue. I don’t just want him to suffer for funsies, I want his character to make sense, I want him to continue to be massively relatable, I want him to address his trauma and work through it and move on etc. etc. etc.

Here’s hoping we get the single Eddie and Buck arcs in S8/maybe 9 and both of them get therapy, properly.

RAVI

My boooyyy!!! The framing of that last shot, I do reckon Ravi will main soon. They didn’t drop his insane childhood lore, and built on him as a character (while Chim was at the academy with him) for no reason.

I am personally really looking forward to seeing him get a lot more screentime in S8. It’s what the people want!!!!!!

GERRARD

Why did they act like this was such a major twist?? Like why else would they have shown him last episode..

I don’t really understand how he can have been made captain of the same firehouse he was removed from for bullying a crew that is literally still there.. but for the plot I guess we’ll go with it!

I look forward to him finally getting his comeuppance in season 8, but the asshole he’s going to be to everyone sounds less fun.

Let’s look at what we might have in store, hm?

-Racist to Chim, Hen and now probably Ravi too.

-Homophobic to Buck.

-If Bobby is around, no doubt he’ll be demeaning to him.

-And, i fear, if he somehow knows about Eddies current situation, will he make snide remarks about him as a father? Idk, I wouldn’t put anything past the bastard.

I’d really like to see the team take a stand against him though, I know he’s their captain for now and they will, to an extent, respect him (or at least do as he says). But it would be nice to see some firefam crew solidarity the face of his bigotry and bullying. It won’t be realistic if any of them just stand by and listen/watch while he makes shitty racism/homophobic jokes to their family.

Going to be a fun (🫠) few episodes!

FINAL THOUGHTS

As an episode, this wasn’t horrendous, but certainly not great. As a finale, it was terrible. Underwhelming sums it up, disappointing emphasises it nicely.

I look forward to getting back to a full length season that has hopefully will be written a little more in advance than this one was. Let’s be optimistic, or this hiatus won’t be too enjoyable.

Can’t wait to spend the next few months binging Buddie fics and reading all your theories!! And don’t forget we get S8 BTS pics in just a few weeks 😭🫶🏻

Feel free to send me any asks if there’s something I’ve forgotten to mention that you’d like my thoughts on - or if you have any theories etc. I love to get asks from your guys 💛

[ave09]

Hiiiiii!!!!! I’d love an Indy x fem!Reader fic in which Reader (who is Indy’s wife) goes on one of his adventures with him (idk maybe to find the Fountain of Youth) and somewhere along the way, Reader is believed to be dead, which devastates Indy yet he keeps going until the adventure is completed and maybe he ends up drinking from the Fountain of Youth, and then eventually finds out that Reader is still very much alive and she also drank from the Fountain of Youth!

OFC!! i love the idea!

gone

indiana jones x wife!reader

note: i have been using the “i love you, i know” exchange way to much but it’s harrison ford, how can i not lmao

“are we sure this thing even exists?”

“y’know, you say that every time and we always end up finding it.” indiana pointed out. you glanced up at him, “i know, but, indy, this-this is a fairy tale, a myth!” 

the foundation of youth. many knew the tale. a fountains that’s waters could make one young again. indiana had been recruited by a man who went by the name Alan Thompson, he was a rich man who had plenty of money to spare, he was the one funding this trip. 

you and your husband now found yourselves in st. augustine, florida, in search of the lost fountain. and while indiana full-heartedly believed that the two of you would be able to find it, you were very skeptical. waters that could make one young? how could it be true! 

but thinking back to all the adventures indiana had been on and all that he’d found: the ark, the sankara stones, the holy grail, so in theory, it was possible to find the mystical fountain.

but you always had your doubts. there was lots of greedy rich men with money, and there were the possibilities they had sent you out on this expedition on false hope, indiana had made quite a few enemies after all.

“alright sweetheart, we gotta move.” indiana said, beckoning you to follow him. you did so, stepping along his footsteps, refusing to stray away from the path. 

“do we even know where your going?” 

“do you wanna lead the way?” you fell silent. indiana was a stubborn man who refused to admit when he was wrong. if he was lost, he would be determined to find a way out on his own. 

as you followed your husband, you caught sight of a thin string that he was approaching, it was far below eye level, but the way the light bounded off of it had brought it to your sight

booby trap.

“indy-“

the man yelped as a net came down from the treeline and scooped him up. you jumped back in surprise, “holy shit!” you took a step forward, trying to formulate a way to help, only to feel someone hold you back. you thrashed against their grip, trying to free yourself. 

“let her go!” your husband snarled, trying to rip away the net. you heard the man or men holding you say something in a language you didn’t understand, before you felt a prick in the back of your neck, quickly slipping into unconsciousness.

the last thing you heard was your husband’s voice shouting, “hold on!”

— — —

indiana jones had never felt more lost in his entire life. after taking ages to escape the stupid net he’d been so careless to fall into. 

from then, he had followed the footsteps your captors had been so careless to leave, but it worked in his benefit.

anxiety clawed at the man. he was beyond worried, never in his years of taking you on expeditions with him had he ever lost you like this. 

he’d always been the one with his life on the line, you were his knight in shining armor, always swooping in to save him at the last second. 

but now you were gone, and it was his turn to save you. 

he followed the footsteps for what felt like hours. he wasn’t one to believe in religion, but he was praying for your safety the entire time. 

a specific scent filled the air which made him stop in his tracks. smoke. fire. it was close. he broke into a run, hearing the crackling of a fire as he drew closer and closer. 

indiana broke through the tree line, his eyes widening. a small hut was burst into flames, the very men who had taken his wife away were standing a few feet away, cheering loudly. 

you weren’t with them. 

you weren’t with them. 

being fluent in many languages, he listened to her captors shouts, “dead! the bitch is dead!”

dead. 

fury pulsed through his veins, indiana glanced at the men, glaring harshly, retrieving his gun from its holster. 

two shots. 

they fell crumbling to the ground. 

he then rushed toward the flaming building, shouting your name. it had just burst into flames, you could very well still be alive. he called your name again, the only  sound being the crackling flames. he searched the exterior, willing himself to enter the building. 

but were you alive… you’d have called by now.

indiana waited hours for the flames to die, completely numb. you couldn’t be gone. it wasn’t possible. this wasn’t the way he lost you. 

he walked among the ashes, in search for any sign of you. anything left. 

nothing but ash. 

he took another lap. 

and then he found it, his sign. one the ground, hidden in the dark soot, was a metal ring. 

your wedding ring. never would you have taken it off. not deliberately.

with a heavy heart, he accepted the truth. you were gone. and it was all his fault. 

for the first time in a long time, indiana jones cried. 

he sobbed over his lost wife, he cursed himself for letting you go with him, he would bear this weight for the rest of his miserable life.

but he knew that you wouldn’t want this for him. you’d want him to go on, explore, find lost artifacts, to keep being the man she knew and loved.

so he dried his tears, stood tall, and continued on.

— — —

days had past, but he’d finally found it. 

the fountain of youth. 

just as beautiful as in the stories. if only you could’ve seen this. you’d have loved it. 

the man slowly approached the fountain, a metal canteen in hand. this was what he’d been paid for, to bring back some of the enchanted liquid for a dying rich man. 

and look at what he’d lost just to do so. 

as he filled the canteen, he thought of Alan Thompson. he’d sent them out, requesting to bring his wife along. 

he was the root cause of his loss.

why should he give the dying man such a special find?

so indiana did what any sane person would do, he chugged the contents of the canteen. the liquid coursed through his veins, and yet he didn’t feel any different. 

he heard footsteps close behind and whipped around. 

“indiana?”

was he dreaming? he had to be dreaming. or dead. this water surely was poisonous. he couldn’t be seeing you. 

“is it really you?” he choked out. you nodded, “yeah, it’s me.” 

he rushed toward you, practically tackling you in an embrace. “oh my god, i thought you were dead.” he whispered, hugging you close, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

“you can’t get rid of me that easily.” you chuckled, pecking his temple lightly. he pulled away, gazing at you were teary eyes, “i love you.” 

you smiled, brushing dirt from his cheek, bringing your lips to his, “i know.” 

[rupertsfangirl]

Motorcyclist in my car Oct 25th

Summary: A semi-journal type text about a sexual encounter with a masked biker. 

Tags & Warnings: Smut, alcohol use, drunk reader (sorta), outdoor sex, mask fetish. Think I missed a tag or warning? Please let me know!

Word count: 1.3k Pairing: Masked man x Fem!Reader

A/N: I think I wanna turn this into a mini series but idk. The journal aspect of it is a bit lost sometimes but I still think what I wanted is in there. Please enjoy :> Also I know I've been gone awhile I was kind of taking a break from writing and stuff to be a consumer for a while (reading fanfictions on my new hyperfixation).

To start I was pretty drunk and on what one might consider a vacation, but this had been on my bucket list for a while. I guess that last shot sealed the deal and gave me enough, I wanna say confidence but that doesn't seem right. It was wrong and I knew it but that's what made it so exciting. I remember looking up into the reflective visor on the unknown man's biker helmet. His identity, forever a mystery which honestly turns me on now thinking about it. I’m thinking of doing something like this again. The thrill of not knowing was a feeling I’d only fantasized about before. Maybe I’ll write a little series of my endeavors, and I’ll be detailed so don’t worry. Now, I’ll get to what happened. 

The bar's lights were really starting to annoy me which is why I walked out and bumped into him in the first place. My face planted straight into his chest, it was firm. I quickly apologized to him but he stayed silent and just kind of looked at me. I imagine he may have been falling in love at that moment, that's what my big ego says anyway. He gave me a nod of forgiveness and walked inside. As he moved past me I looked him up and down, nothing crazy, some black sweats and a green hoodie but he seemed fit underneath the concealing clothing. I took a seat outside close to where his bike was. I was kind of hoping to catch him leaving, our small interaction piqued my interest; I could only hope it piqued his too. I sat for what felt like ages but I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up to the helmeted man crouched next to me shaking my shoulder. I could hear the sounds of a muffled hey underneath the helmet. I groggily lifted my head from my knees and tried to wipe the bit of drool on my lower lip. 

“Y’know you oughta be more careful where you sleep.” His voice remained muffled. 

“Huh?” I could hear him chuckle, it sounded warm and gentle, a real suave laugh. I thought it was odd he hadn’t taken off the helmet but it only made me more interested. 

“I said you should be more careful where you sleep.” I nodded at him, closing my eyes from the remaining tiredness. He seemed to be rolling his eyes under the visor, “Do you have a friend here or a car? Don’t drive but at least you can sleep in a safer place.” 

“Yea that blue one there.” I pointed towards my car.

“Alright let's go then,” he pulled my arm over his shoulder and started walking me toward the car. 

“Hey, wait I don’t want you to just disappear after this.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Well talk to me, let me learn a little about you.” At this point we had reached my car and I was leaning on the driver door with him next to me. I felt quite sobered up but in actuality I was still quite out of it. 

“Fine, you’ve intrigued me. Oh hold on lemme take this-”

“NO!” I quickly slapped his hand away from his helmet. He was so surprised he had stepped back a bit and I can only assume he looked either confused or shocked, probably both. 

“What was that for? No?”

“K-keep the helmet on.”

“What, why, you can’t really hear me well can you?”

“Well it adds to your mystery, and my hearing is stronger than most.” It isn’t but he didn’t need to know that besides I could hear him well enough. 

We talked for a while, we laughed and all that good connection stuff, then he asked again about the helmet thing and why I didn’t want him to take it off. I told him the real reason: It turned me on, it was super hot, he seemed both proud and curious. 

I suppose we just spoke all the right words to each other to get into one another's pants. 

But one thing led to another and we were inside the back seat of my car tearing each other's clothes off. He’s pulling off my shirt, my bra then my pants and underwear; while I yank down his pants and boxers. There was no way of getting the hoodie off with the helmet on but I didn’t need all that. He pinched my nipples between his rough fingers while his other hand teased over my clit. Honestly I was surprised he found it. I could tell he was hot from all the panting, I could only assume his helmet was like a small ecosystem. I was moaning like we weren’t in a public space and not the fake ones. These were real, I was excited; I was aroused. His fingers made their way down and into my vagina making my back arch. I kept staring into his visor knowing he could see all of me; my erotic faces reflecting back at me, my nude body. In contrast to him; I didn't know what kind of man was behind that visor, what kind of faces he makes during sex. At this point I was soaking and couldn’t wait, impatiently I beg for him to fuck me already. He obliges and lines up his sizable cock before slowly pushing inside. A gasp slips from my mouth and I hear a faint moan from him. My hands move to grip his back sliding underneath his hoodie. It has a soft muscular feel. He starts to move, his quiet grunts and groans escaping through his helmet. At first his movements were a bit awkward but eventually we got into a good 

pace. He had surprisingly good stamina. He sat up more using his rough hands to grip my hips, thrusting at a new angle making me want to scream. He kept hitting my sensitive part as my moans grew louder, suddenly my hand was pushing against his lower abdomen. 

“I think, I hear someone.” His hips slowly came to a halt and I began listening more intently hearing some faint laughing outside, it didn't sound that close so maybe I was just being paranoid. He probably couldn’t hear that well so I was on a higher alert.

Tilting his head and asking, “But, isn’t that part of the fun?” He used his hand to pull my chin to look back at him, before covering my mouth and continuing to move. Definitely one of the top five hottest moments I've had with someone, probably even top 3. I was starting to get close from his thrusting and my fingers relentlessly on my clit. The throbbing and twitching of his dick inside me let me know he was also close. He slid his hand off of my mouth and placed both hands back on my hips, quickening his pace. Our body heat filled the car, steamy windows, moans and grunts, inching ever closer to that sweet release. He kept hitting a spot that made me feel like a glass about to spill over, I could see my face in his visor as I got closer to climax, I had never felt as beautiful as I felt in that moment. Then it all poured out, I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me, he came just moments before myself. He stayed inside but the condom caught it all (I had one in my glove box). He pulled out and we stayed breathing heavily for a while just looking at each other; I assumed he was looking at me but his eyes could have been wandering my body for all I know. 

We tied off the condom, got cleaned, and got dressed. Then we went our separate ways, I walked with him to his bike before watching him disappear into the distance on the road. Overall a steamy encounter, one I’ll never forget. But he may have competition soon, Halloweens coming up and there will be plenty of masked fish to choose from. 

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB s3 ep4 Thoughts!!!

Oooohh starting off strong

Omega immediately wanting to go back because “it’s right”

Crosshair wanting to keep moving, not because he’s scared of going back but because he understands that he can’t help anyone if he’s dead

Ah there he is. The bitch. The Hemcock.

I wanna say Nala Sa deserves to be in prison but idk I’m starting to feel for her

Pretty sure she won’t survive the season though

IM SORRY THAT SHOT WHERE THE COAT IS HANGING OVER THAT POWER LINE???

is that,,,, a reference to yanno,,, shoes hanging from a power line?

hahahahahahah poncho stormtroopers

“You’re the one who wanted to bring… the hound.”

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM

best duo this show has given us

If Hunter was the hesitant but willing dad, Crosshair is the exasperated older brother that was forced to bring his younger sister to the party he was invited to an now has to spent all night watching her

Ey not cool Omega. Someone was using that jacket to advertise their business

“See, isn’t this better?” “No.” “Ugh.”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA

“I could take out half of them before they even know what happened” 😳😳

Yeah, I believe you sir

Damn fuck how many more clone crushes will I have to be burdened with

Jesus Christ

“That went well” “Stow it”

THEM

YOUR HONOUR

THEM!!!

Scottish Robot ahhahahahahaha

Say what you will about Crosshair, when that dude sat down across from Omega he was ready for a FIGHT

big ol’ softie <3

“You or your dad”

Glad Hunter wasn’t there to hear that

Or Crosshair for that matter

Both would’ve blown their cover

Tbh Crosshair makes a fair point about leaving while they can. The planet is filled with Empirials and they are running out of time

But he also hasn’t been part of a team in a while and maybe he’s forgotten some of what that entails too

Either way, loving how “selfless” and “selfish” are meeting in this ep

“I’ll do it your way BUT I WOULD LIKE THE RECORD TO REFECT THAT I DONT WIKE IT!”

Crosshair giving Omega a boost to get over the wall I’m crying

“Shouldn’t we free the other animals too?” “Don’t push it.”

HE IS MY SOULMATE (based on sarcasm. I am vegetarian and I would free those animal friendos in a heartbeat)

The extra head shake and eye roll at that question too, he is already so done I can’t hahahahahahahah

“I hope your take-offs are better than your landings” “we’re about to find out”

Aaaaaaand that just reminded me that Tech was the one who taught her to fly

🥲🥲🥲🥲

That fucking shriek when the stormtrooper got blasted by the engine hahahahahaha

Ohohoh altered batch theme after take off? Okayokayokay I see you👀

Jesus Christ, Crosshair trying to prepare Omega for the very real possibility that Hunter and Wrecker are dead?

Like I know it seems cruel and defeatist but it’s actually kind in a way

Managing expectations in order to save her from a worse fall out

FUCK I THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO WAIT TILL NEXT EPISODE FOR THEM REUNION

JESUS

AAAAAAHHHHH

“We crossed the galaxy four times looking for you”

SIR

I AM QUACKING

why did Hunter’s appearance suddenly piss me off

Like Wrecker had a cute line and Hunter had to walk up like

“Um, five actually”

Like idk it felt like he was taking over the moment (which makes sense because he’s her dad but still it just sounded awkward)

EXCUSE ME??? I BEG YOUR BIGGEST PARDON??

Omega just explained that she only got off that planet AND survived so far thanks to Crosshair and all they can do is look all bitchy butt-hurt

Like I expected this from Hunter but why isn’t Wrecker hugging him?

Bc they went looking for Cross before, I thought we were past the straight up hate?

Love how stoically Cross is taking it though

I have to admit, so far this is one of my all time favourites. The comedic timing, the very real story line, the confrontation of previously opposed characters? Wonderful. But the pièce de résistance? Crosshair’s character description rings true again. “Severe and unyielding” Tech had said. I’ve rambled about this a lot recently, but the boiled down version is that when Crosshair commits to something, he commits all the way. Like how he committed to the Empire so hard that he hunted down his brothers. Or when he finally decided the Empire was a bunch of shitbags and shot officer shitbag (I forget his name) in the face. He has now decided to commit to Omega, for whatever reason. And it shows. Because even when she tells him to go, he’s literally only a minute behind her. He lets her employ her own strategies despite his preference and experience. He’s ready to beat up Captain Dickhead (did they even give him a name?) for sitting down across from her. He tells her to get into the ship first while he lays down cover fire.

Crosshair’s next “severe and unyielding” decision is Omega’s safety. And I couldn’t be more excited to see where it goes!

AND I cannot believe how much I suddenly like his character. I was so disinterested in him for like s1 and maybe 90% of s2 but now I am more interested in what becomes of him than I am in what the deal is with Omega’s M-count.

I’m saying it now. These seasons hyper focuses are: Rex, Echo and Crosshair (in that order) (for now, we’ll see)

Thanks to everyone who sat through that, have a good day/night/whatever, friend!

[slythereen]

Helloooo, i have a genuine question about Charles going to redbull (let me just quickly say that i am not in any way hating on anyone, they're all very talented, so if it seems like i'm shitting on someone, i promise i'm not, it's 2am where i am, i'm very tired and i really just wanna know, and please corrcet me if i'm wrong when stating facts)

Yes, Max and Charles have the same driving style, and have all the lore from their karting days

But what I want to know is, in what world would redbull let Charles (consistently) beat Max? Max has been/ is redbulls golden child, he's been with them since 2016, and he's been very succesful with them, and maybe what i'm saying is wrong but i'll say it anyway: i do kind of believe the team is built around Max? (let's remember how many people were the other driver at rb with Seb and after he left now with Max, like he's the constant and obviously building a team is complicated and idk what goes into it but you can steer it into a certain direction)

And if Charles were to join rb, would he be content with playing second driver to Max Verstappen (who is a 3x wc, like we get angry when Charles has to be 2nd driver to Sainz (who has won like 2 grand prix's) on the occasion (happens too often))

( with this i want to mention the mercedes situation with Rosberg, schuhmacher and Hamilton, where after Michael had left, technically Nico should have been a priority (bcs he'd been there longer), but because Lewis already was a WC, Nico had to be 2nd driver again and brocedes happened) (not that the whole situation is even comparable to brocedes imo, lestappen doesn't even compare)

I truly think redbull are using the whole lestappen thing as a marketing strategy (let's all remember what it's build on) and to create a better image around Max, since they can't really use Daniel anymore because a) he's in the AT seat and b) we saw the uproar from Checo's fans who (rightly, imo) got mad at the whole situation during COTA

This turned out to be way longer than i thought

Hope you have a nice day/evening

🩷

Hello and happy (early) thanksgiving if you’re celebrating !!

I think everything you said is very true actually. I know Red Bull likes to say they aren’t built around Max, but they definitely are. And he’s definitely their golden boy. There’s no getting around that, as much as I think the Red Bull team genuinely likes Charles and would support him.

The reasons why I think that can work regardless:

A) Like you said, Ferrari treats him like a 2nd driver to Carlos half the time — which is just insulting, seeing how Charles should be their prioritized driver and Carlos is most certainly not the caliber of driver Max is. I don’t think he would want to be a true “number two” to Max nor do I think he deserves to be a second. However, if he’s going to get treated that way in Ferrari, I’d rather he get second driver treatment in a competent team where being less prioritized won’t damage him as much precisely because he and Max prefer the same style of car mostly.

B) I think if Red Bull were to sign Charles, they’d be doing it with the intention to try to be the team to do two number one drivers and succeed (unlike Mercedes). Liberty Media was very open and public about wanting Red Bull to have two top drivers for the entertainment value. Plus, it would be just one more thing for Red Bull to completely dominate and do that no one else can, which is very on brand for them. Obviously Max may get a bit more preference initially, but I think they’re smart enough strategically to be able to balance their support if it deserved to be balanced.

C) Mostly, however, I think Red Bull is also thinking ahead to the future. Max has been open about wanting to pursue other categories and other opportunities. Half the time he sounds like he might retire in 2028. So Red Bull needs to be prepared to 1) try to keep Max for longer and 2) have a new number one lined up for when he does leave.

I think Charles is a good candidate in their minds for many reasons, aside from the fact he’s just as talented as Max (arguably). Charles is extremely marketable and likable, without the baggage that Daniel brings (and frankly with more talent than Daniel brings). He gets along well with Max and they’ve been able to be friendly about their (f1) battles, both like to drive aggressively against eachother and therefore are more forgiving with eachother, etc. I think if you’re going to try to make Max accept an equal driver it needs to be Charles.* He’s also shown that he can play the team game and he’s historically been angelic about Ferrari in the media, despite how badly they’ve fucked him over. That’s very useful for Red Bull.

(*Lando is potentially a good candidate and Red Bull obviously has tried to get him before. But I don’t think he matches Max and Charles, which means he’d probably just be a good number two and not a true equal. Plus he and Max were always friends, and I think part of why Max and Charles could manage the more tense aspects of being competing teammates is the fact that they decidedly were not friends through karting.

Also, if the rumors that the Hamilton camp reached out to Red Bull are true? And that Red Bull said no because he and Max couldn’t work as teammates? I think that indicates that they know a second top driver would have to work on a personal level, and they think Charles can work. Helmut Marko indicated that Red Bull approached Charles, after all, which means they must have thought it could work.)

Another major thing with Charles that could make him an ideal choice is that he more openly appreciates the… “show” that Liberty Media is trying to bring to f1. Especially with his Vegas commentary, about how he understands why they are trying to bring in new fans, etc. If Max retired earlier or at the end of this contract I think a huge reason will be because he hates all of the show. So lining up a replacement for Max who won’t end up retiring for the same reason is also beneficial to them.

Which actually loops back to that I think Red Bull knows Charles challenging Max and entertaining him / bringing him fun on track again would help keep Max around. I remain convinced that Charles in a good car could keep Max in f1 longer. Red Bull could very much plan on trying to use Charles to coax Max to stay, and if that doesn’t work out then they have Charles still to continue dominating with. It’s a win-win for them.

Now, that’s not to say Red Bull aren’t just using the lestappen angle to boost Max’s likability. That’s very possible and my second top theory behind it. It may even be more realistic, all things considered. But I don’t think Charles considering Red Bull is as far-fetched as some believe, either.

[mayordea]

MORGAN HEADCANON POST!!!

so i have posted my elaborate “the robins are separate entities and siblings” headcanons and i think i’ve said too many damn times that i wanna extend a similar headcanon post for morgan and now it is TIME!!

(im also a lot less nervous sharing this time teehee)

more info about the guys under the cut :]

morgan

the girl one

robin’s adopted daughter. parents died after grima goes bananas and robin decided to take her under his wing. i like to think robin held out a little longer than the rest of the shepherds once the apocalypse started so he was able to teach morgan what he knew. plus she self taught herself magic and tactics using his notes even when he’s dead

can be blunt, hates being the butt of the joke, but has a pretty dry and witty sense of humor. sometimes clashes with lucina’s inability to pick up on jokes

since she was a kid when grima goes bad, she is the oldest among the second gen. older than lucina by a few years perhaps

has a close sisterly relationship with lucina. she and lucina sort of reflect robin and chrom’s relationship in the group, with the exalted leader having a wise magic man by their side. given the situation in their family tree (though morgan is adopted, she is still lucina’s cousin) i’d refrain from defining it as anything romantic (besides i hc lucina to be aroace anyway. queerplatonic relationship, perchance)

since morgan was only able to cross paths with lucina and the rest of the second-gen shepherds through her adoption from robin, it is unlikely that she will meet lucina in the good future or at least have the same very close relationship with lucina since she’ll be raised by her bio parents. (one may argue that none of the second-gen shepherds will meet or form a close band without the backdrop of acopalyptic bonding in the good timeline, but the point is that morgan will live a significantly different upbringing if the grima threat is taken care of). lucina sometimes worries about this possibility, but morgan’s conviction to change the future for the better is stronger than this uncertainty. this conviction was also probably inspired by lucina’s drive to change fate

ngl this is all i have unfortunately 😭 but i do wanna work with her more, especially her relationship with lucina

marc

the boy one

chrom and reflect (girl robin)’s son from… a different future. he does not hail from the same doomed timeline as lucina and the rest of the kiddos. instead, he’s from a timeline where grima was vanquished with the falchion (keeping reflect/the vessel alive). he was born shortly after the war ended (though in actuality he’s born after chrom and friends leave smash bros but that’s a whole other can of worms)

the youngest of the future kids

due to his unawareness of the apocalyptic future and grima in general, he has a much more jovial attitude compared to the rest of the kids

brash and a bit of a jock

has a little bit of aptitude in magic from his mom, but he has no interest in actually touching a book

lucina (and the rest of the kids) were confused about this guy’s existence and why he was sent to the past but they embrace him as one of their own anyway (he still doesn’t really know what’s going on)

tbh i have even less going on with him, but i think exploring the silly sibling dynamic he’ll have with lucina should be fun in future projects

his design is kinda messy atm, i do not know if ill fully settle on the one here idk

OH and lastly: his mark of the exalt has not surfaced yet at his age, but i think it’ll appear on either the back of his right hand (like the defile brand) or on his upper back (jojo reference). or maybe even in his right eye like inigo (but that sorta feels like his thing so i don’t wanna rip it off lmao)

anyway that’s it!! i’m kinda pressed for time rn but i wanted to get this out before i forgot lmao!! will edit if needed ough

[laurelnose]

I saw your Disco Elysium work skin on AO3 and I felt like I could add to it a bit. I thought it'd be cool if the formatting could break down if anything ever happened near the Pale. I'm pretty solid at programming so I'm definitely not asking you to do it, but if you had any suggestions I'll take them. Part of the problem is the fact that everything you've written applies to the entire workskin div, and my smooth brain was never that good at frontend in the first place.

hi! that sounds awesome; let me know if you do end up figuring something out and I’d be happy to link to your mods!

lol yeah I love div minimalism but it has its drawbacks. and tbh even I go a bit cross-eyed trying to read my own gradient code. 😅 It would probably be easier to mess with if you used the FELD Playback version, which applies the background to a div nested within the workskin. You can leave out the feld-overlay-start and feld-overlay-end divs if you don’t wanna deal with them. Also I cannot recommend this codepen enough for work skin testing, it really simplifies the whole business.

It then depends on what you would want “breaking down near the pale” to look like. My first instinct is to lean into the tape metaphor. Nesting the parts of the fic that take place near the pale in a div with a TV-static background and some negative margin fuckery to make it cover its containing div could work, maybe with some gradient work to make the static fade in and out. Or possibly have the tape background itself fade out. You could do this by making a new feld-body class with an added linear gradient with the background gray at the bottom fading to transparent over maybe, idk, 5-10em?, another where the linear gradient goes from top to bottom inside, and a third solid gray div with zero top/bottom margin that you could sandwich between them. Or use white instead of solid gray.

More subtle effects might be text-only: a series of classes for p tags with increasing transparency, for instance. Have you looked at THE FURY OF A SHATTERED MIRROR by ASpooky, especially chapters 11-15? They’ve done some really fantastic work with formatting there. The insertion of “Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves” in ch. 11 particularly seems pale-adjacent, since it can add signal from other sources.

[celestialmancer]

☁️ // 3:04 am, tbd ;

More low filter bs

Kind of wonder sometimes if I’d feel as much shame as I do towards rambling off abt nsfw ish or nsfw topics w my ocs or doing ramblings of that sort involving them if it weren’t for the… things I went through + the way I had to deal with being shamed due to the trauma responses I ended up with as a result of said experiences ig

& also if it hadn’t been for the ex friend of mine who was emotionally abusive to me for 4 years (i met her @ 13/14 & she was 21/22) & and anti-lgbt obsessive religious freak as well, seeing how she. Always was towards me about anything nsfw related? Like I remember she used to obsessively fixate on how engaging in any of those things meant you were disgusting & sinful & letting the devil influence you, & how anyone who wrote or hc’ed or drew or rp’ed nsfw stuff was ppl who were disgusting or sinful & “wasting their talent on things the devil wants”

Along w how. Victim blame-y she was w matters of sexual harassment or worse

(…which all those things were… the worst possible thing to be around given what i was going through w/ M & other freaks online at t the time that i wont elaborate on)

& just. Idk. I know that while ive mostly reprocessed everything w her & how she was to where it doesn’t rly phase me to talk abt anymore, it doesn’t change the impact it left on me where I guess it played a role in how i’ve like. Always seen myself whenever i do wanna muse on more nsfw stuff w my ocs or rp or create nsfw content w them (& well other things online that were ✨traumatic ✨ that i wont say just kinda fueled all that even worse along w bs from religion in general & also—from how ppl reacted to trauma responses i had )

Always there’s shame in sorta approaching that for this reason—mind you its not the only reason, there’s a lot more to it, but still

& ig that might be another factor why i struggle to feel comfortable w approaching anyone i trust for anything nsfw related w ocs? & just leave it to others to approach me instead if they want so that way i dont feel like im being viewed in some neg way that im not, all over tryna approach over something like that, ig

I p much need an explicit “u can approach me abt this anytime” type of deal wrt nsfw oc stuff or else i just simply do not 💀 once again w the “needs explicitly being told x thing is fine or invited to do x thing or else i will not” that follows me in a lot of things wfsvdg just general self suppression? Ig

(Now admittedly, again, there’s more reason to why i do that other than just religion & a lot of it is an intense fear of accidentally crossing a line & also coming off a bad way + like, other things, that are deeply personal, but still)

…Ironic that im that way considering the spaces i have w friends & all but yeah.

But still. Idk. Ig i just wonder if id struggle w feeling ‘dirty’ or w/e still if it hadn’t been for that connection—probably still would all other things considered bc, ik those dirty feelings also—came from how ppl viewed me over, certain… things i went through & responses to it… but, maybe to a lesser degree or something … idk.

Had more to say but it slipped my mind, so.

[joelsfavouritegirl]

i feel like pre-outbreak joel would smell so good 😍🤤 he’d probably smell like deodorant, detergent, and sweat lol i’d totally stick my face into his neck.

Also much as i love reading about post outbreak grumpy joel 🥰 i think my favorite genre would be just slice of life fics with him pre-outbreak or even no outbreak. Like idk i think it heals something in me when i see reader x joel fics where they’re just madly in love and finally has someone to help him out with taking care of sarah and stuff. Like i love reading stuff where reader just takes care of joel 😭 i feel bad for him i wanna spoil that man and be a total housewife for him and just cook and clean for him and take care of sarah so he doesn’t have to worry about it 😭 have you seen the pills on his nightstand? homie has like anxiety and stomach ulcers 😭 poor babyyy

no bcs truth has been spoken🗣️🗣️🗣️ saying this again, i’m such a whore for literally anything to do with pre-outbreak!joel like have you seen that man?? bb was stressed all the fuckin way and he didn’t deserve any of it. literally broke my heart when i first found out about all the pills littering his night table like😭😭 sweets was going through some shit

but no i agree with u all the way, every ounce of feminism leaves my body the moment i see that man. he wants his whole house cleaned? gladly anytime babe (but in reality he’d probably never want you doing too much work, would always volunteer and power through it but god sometimes it’s hard so you end up doing it for him and reassuring him how it’s not a problem)

desperately need more pre-outbreak!joel fics. DOMESTIC JOELLLLLL🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

and oh em gee yes i 💯 agree that he’d smell rly niceeee, that detergent that you bought once and you haven’t stopped using since he said he liked it once (and you like the way it makes his clothes smell), and maybe even some cologne if he’s going out somewhere???? god i love this man<333 TYSM FOR THE SUBMISSIONNN O LOVE TALKING ABOUY THIS SHIT WITH YA’LL🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[vout-vouniern]

SIDE ORDER SPOILERS AHEAD. PLEASE BE ADVISED IF YOU HAVE NOT 100% THE DLC YET.

tldr: I give it a feesh/10. Would recommend.

So I’ve just beaten the last palette for Side Order and now I just wanna go through my thoughts on each palette, the enemy/level design, you know, a review. I’ll try to keep it organized…

Let’s start with basics. As a roguelike, Side Order does exactly what it sets out to do. You go up 10 floors, getting at least one upgrade per floor, then fight a boss. Do that three times, and bingo you win. Much like any roguelike I’ve seen, the primary difficulty is self-set; you can upgrade your runs to make them easier, or set up unique challenges to test yourself. It’s also quite easy to get an OP run going as long as you find the right chips, which does mean a fair bit of RNG can make or break a run, though with enough permanent upgrades (aka hacks) you more or less can beat any run.

The gameplay loop is mostly solid besides all the ink everywhere except for the zone defense floors, at least imo. Portal destroying is more or less a damage check, and fairly simple to complete. Alla Mambo floors are my favorite, mostly because I adore sunfish and therefore the levels where you get to chase em are real fun! Turbine Tower takes the idea of Tower Control and actually makes it fun! Zone defense, on the other hand, kinda falls apart at higher stages unless your kit has some real firepower in it. It’s not uncommon to see like 3 Drizzling Carpaccios riding Battering Lentos all heading to the zone at once, which means you need both high DPS to take the Lentos down then good paint to fix the mess the Carpaccios made- oh wait there’s 20 Marching Andantes coming, gotta deal with- wait nope outta ink, gotta leave- and now they have zone. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE ONE FLOOR THAT’S JUST TOWERING NOBILMENTES AND DRIZZLING CARPACCIOS WITH TWO ZONES EITHER SIDE OF THE MAP, WHICH IS PAINFUL TO TRAVERSE REGARDLESS OF WEAPON.

Now onto Palettes. These act as your starter decks, which is a really fun choice though I do wish we weren’t so restricted with possible weapons. I’d love to see a Squeezer or S-BLAST run but alas, there’s no custom runs at all. Anyway, onto each Palette and what I like/dislike about it. I’ll describe them as main weapon-starting sub weapon-starting special weapon-primary/secondary tones (which describe what types of upgrades you’re more likely to see)

Dualies-Curling Bomb-Reefslider-Lucky/Support I don’t know why they nerfed Dualies as hard as they did for this, but they don’t feel all that great to use until you get some good upgrades. On top of that, neither the sub or special are all that, plus why doesn’t Pearl have a tone for, idk, herself!? Oddly enough, the game sets a weirdly bad first impression of what’s to come. Probably my second least favorite palette.

Brella-Sprinkler-Ink Storm-Drone/Power Now this is a fun palette to use, though not for the reasons you may think. Much like Salmon Run, Brella is actually a good weapon here; between having decent damage and all the utility that comes with the shield, it feels great to use straight outta the box! Sprinkler also happens to be one of the better subs for it; helps with painting zones and charging special. Not that Ink Storm is a good special in this…at least Drone makes for a good back-up plan if your Power Brella hits a bad point. Also you can get an upgrade that locks the shield making it play like Undercover it’s so good!

Shot-Splat Bomb-Trizooka-Range/Mobility Wow the shooter is good despite the Side Order nerfs who would’ve thought. Kit is obviously good, though I don’t find myself picking up mobility often…

Roller-Burst Bomb-Kraken-Power/Lucky Power on a roller is…almost everything you’d want out of a roller. See, the biggest problem with this palette is that anything related to rolling is usually in the Mobility tone, not Power, so this palette really should’ve been Power/Mobility imo. Besides that, Burst does burst things and Kraken is solid too, though it does struggle with hitting portals too far off the ground…

Charger-Ink Mine-Triple Inkstrike-Support/Range So this is probably the most busted palette in the game. I’ll keep it brief, but you can essentially get a Grizzco Charger whilst laying tons of mines (which are insanely good against swarms) and you start with what’s probably the second best special in the DLC due to its high damage and utility. If you’re having trouble winning, or just want a breezy time, pick this.

Stringer-Toxic Mist-Killer Wail 5.1-Mobility/Range Stringer plays kinda close to non-grizzified charger but mainly has better taps/partials in exchange for worse full charges over charger. Neither Toxic Mist nor Wail 5.1 are any good, so you might wanna get those replaced asap. Mobility also doesn’t have much synergy with bow so not a great palette overall.

Splatana-Fizzy Bomb-Crab Tank-Lucky/Drone This is kinda a weird palette overall. Stamper does Stamper things mostly, but the luck really just makes this one feel unique. To my surprise Fizzy ended up on the lower end of subs in Side Order for me, but that was more than compensated for with the best special in the DLC: THE ALMIGHTY CRAB. Also my first floor 30 clear!

Slosher-Suction Bomb-Triple Inkstrike-Support/Drone Man, this should’ve been Power/Support it would’ve been nuts. Still, Support/Drone works well enough for it, plus the overall kit is fantastic. Love this one!

Blaster-Curling Bomb-Wave Breaker-Range/Power Ugh, this is by far the worst main weapon of all of them. It’s got no range, fire rate, dps, or aoe despite being a blaster. It just fails in pretty much every way unless you get the right chips. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the sub and special are not great either. This is by far the hardest palette to clear, including the last one…

Brush-Ink Mine-Ultra Stamp-Mobility/Lucky Thankfully this brush is quite good at dealing with swarms, even at low upgrades. Biggest downside of this palette is no range, but since you’re getting Mobility chips it’s accounted for. Solid palette all around (except for Stamp).

Splatling-Splash Wall-Booyah Bomb-Drone/Support I DIDN’T FORGET THIS ONE AND ADD IT IN POST SHADDUP. Splatling is the weapon class I’m worst at but honestly it didn’t feel all too bad. Support’s a great tone for it, and having Pearl slap mines everywhere is always gonna be great. I will never understand how to use wall, and Booyah Bomb feels…surprisingly weak? Like, its damage is not super there or anything. Eh, it’s mot terrible anyway.

Octo Shot-Splat Bomb-Triple Splashdown-Power/Mobility Hoo boy this one’s a doozy. This is the same thing as the Order Shot, but with a different starting special and more importantly, a worse limit on how many chips you can have based on how many hacks you have available. It seems tricky at first, but then you realize the minimum chips is 6 so you get one Main Piercing chip and some Power and boom, done. Honestly feel this final challenge could’ve been done better, not to mention the final boss’s reaction to its final loss was a bit lackluster, to say the least. Ah well, least the weapon’s cool.

Oh, lastly Cipher’s Siftings has some neat stuff to buy once you’re done spending Prlz on hacks. Nice little feature to round off the DLC.

And I think that’s all my thoughts. Guess if you have any questions lmk.

[skinimini80]

Tbh if ur looking to break a b/p cycle not purging post binging/overeating is the WAY.

Whenever I b/p, I literally get rewarded for bad behavior in the form of weightloss. Like I enjoy some flavor (mostly stop caring about taste like a couple minutes in) and wake up skinnier. The only things that punish me are the awful feeling of I’m actually going to die any day now, dehydration, fear of any amount of food, fear of water, financially fucked (fr this one is the worst for me).

Yet the only thing I really care about is progress.

My binges have grown due to b/ping so when I truly binge, I almost always throw it up whether I want to or not HOWEVER when I overeat I can sometimes keep it down.

When I overeat and weigh myself the next day, it isn’t easy to see the number go up but it does make me feel like I have a better sense of where my body is at. I’d rather lose through calorie restriction and be like 5 lbs heavier than I thought than constantly be dehydrated.

Plus when you keep food down you can be wayyyy more exact in your calorie counting.

Anyways overeating leaves me full, bloated, and not wanting to binge. Like I do obsess over what I’ll eat but I have no desire for that frenzy of eating whatever I want. I used to feel that kind of desire when I was anorexic, but if I’m being totally candid I’ve been more bulimic than anorexic for years now. I’ve binged over and over and over. It isn’t fun if I can’t purge it. It isn’t desirable. When I eat more than enough my mind isn’t even on food unless I’m planning to allow myself to eat. I can keep food in my kitchen and not touch it! Not even think about it!

Lately I’ve been spiraling back into my b/p fasting hell. I’ve interrupted the cycle for two days now. I already feel a renewed sense of I wanna restrict. Maybe I’m delulu, but I feel a second wave of a honeymoon phase coming on.

So yeah idk maybe try it. Just a day or two. Hell I’m doing a week (sort of, I don’t really wanna eat today lol). Trust me, I almost always get a new honeymoon phase once I get past the initial dread of thinking I gained everything back.

This isn’t targeted towards all bulimics btw. It’s really more towards those who are in the late stages of literally leaving nothing in their stomach. Bulimia is such a crazy thing because most people gain from it, but once you get to a point you can really lose real weight. It’s not worth it. It’s not quicker than just restricting. I’ve been so ill (like near death sickness not an ED) and truly bulimia hell felt so much worse than that.

Btw I call it bulimia hell because I still think I’m bulimic, but I’m not afraid of water anymore and I can convince myself to eat more easily.

Another option is just go full gym bro. Eat enough, build muscles, obsess over calories and feel in control while somewhat improving your health (it’s unhealthy to not take a minute to let your body heal first and it probably will bite you in the ass but it is better than continuing a bulimic spiral)

Also if you can just stop trying to lose weight that would be best for you. You would feel far more hopeful than the solution I’m offering. I just know I’d rather someone stop dehydrating themself like a raisin and restrict their calories than just say “you haveeeeee to accept weight gain! No other way! You simply must go all in! Even though this disorder is all about all or nothing! You have to giveeeeee up that mindset of all or nothing while simply declaring absolutelllyyyyyyyy NO more disordered behaviorrrrrrrrsss”

If you can, yay! I’m so envious! I’m truly astonished at your bravery and commitment. Most of us aren’t so incredible. We are all capable of it, but clearly we tend to lean on coping mechanisms. We feel we need something.

I’m just so god damn tired of being told I must be ready to recover in order to improve my quality of life even a little! I’m not ready! Why would I be! I don’t want to recover but I don’t want to die over a toilet either! Let me wean off! Let me reduce harm! Give me my fucking time!

Anyways I’m horrified at quasi recovery so I am restricting and stuff still but idk I’ve been through these phases a couple of times in the past two years and I gotta say, I didn’t get fat. I didn’t go back to being 140 lbs. I had moments of pure hope and joy. I felt my body relax a little. I’m losing again and have a new breath of air in my lungs. I’ve got the second wind in the race. It’s okay to regroup. It’s okay to harm reduce.

It’s okay to eat. It’s okay to compromise. If it means not having a heart attack because you refuse water, than by all means eat 1200 cals and keep it in! It’s so much better than nothing!

[akkpipitphattana]

okay so i'm making gifs from ep 6 of only friends and i'm at the part where boston and his dad are talking about relationships with nick RIGHT THERE and boston just keeps looking at nick while he's negatively reacting to hearing boston confirm, yet again, that he doesn't want a relationship. and i'm just so convinced, at this point, that boston is doing this on purpose. like he's a fckn sociopath, he KNOWS what nick wants even if nick denies being that into boston. boston knows that nick wants more than just sex from him, nick's true feelings are too obvious for boston to not NOT believe nick's words (sorry for the double negative, it irks me to use). i feel like he's doing things, saying things to make nick like him more (telling him he wants somebody to sit down and talk to, to cuddle with, etc. after sex, basically a boyfriend without the commitment) because boston NEEDS to be desired and wanted... i'd say by anybody but i can't include his actual "friends" in that list. he knows that's what nick wants to hear so he's going to say it to keep nick reeled in. BUT my whole point is that he looks at nick when he says something he knows nick won't like hearing, how can he not notice the negative reaction nick is having? and then right after, he tells him not to be dramatic, that he's still special, nick is boston's favorite, blah blah blah. boston is the defection of a narcissist, he believes himself, his wants, his feelings, his needs, etc. to be above everybody else, he doesn't care how his actions impact as long as he continues to get what he wants.

oh yeah i absolutely think boston has known the whole time what nick wants. idk if i’d call him a sociopath but narcissist definitely seems to fit him. regardless, boston is extremely self centered and is really only ever looking out for his own interest and if it takes manipulating someone else to make himself feel loved, he will. i don’t think he’s incapable of feeling anything tho, like i do genuinely think he feels some amount for nick. like i know people don’t wanna hear that cause it’s like “oh you wouldn’t treat someone you actually like like that” but it’s like. i think whatever boston feels, he doesn’t know how to actually deal with it because that’s never been him and also like he told nick, he wants to leave thailand eventually anyways so what does it matter? idk i think boston is a lot more complex than people give him credit for. like yes he’s a cunt and he’s fun because of that but it’s more than that yknow?