#also her friend already updated me on her being in hospital again and no one knows whats going on which i answered so

[baekuras]

Took a peek into the message preview and my mother latest message starts with “I don’t know why I haven’t heard anything from you-” and like Her last message ended with “You could have messaged me-I could be dead by now”

like how the FUCK do you answer that? K? Cool man?👍? I hope so? So could you on any other day? Lmao I have been dead since 13????? I just??????????? no?

[the-gay-prometheus]

Important Update

Thankfully, as of Sunday, her symptoms started to improve, but we still went ahead with the stool sample to make sure that her immune system had finally kicked in and was fighting off the cocci on its own. Results today showed that the sample was now negative, which means we don't have to worry about any medication right now. That said $79.50 (receipt is screenshotted and included) is still a major blow when you've only got $140 to your name and no guarantee of employment and no other assistance.

So. I appreciate everyone who has shared this post and the individual who donated (and thanks to that individual, this is no where near as urgent now)! If anyone the ability to help me cover the rest of the cost I would super appreciate it and it would help a lot, but otherwise I'm not in panic mode at the moment.

Thanks to everyone who was so willing to help!

~~~

Alright I hate to have to do this but I don't really have any other choice right now.

Hi. I'm Jay. Or Victor. Or Viktor. Any of those names work. I'm a disabled neurodivergent transmasc who is currently in unemployment hell because the few jobs I am physically capable of and meet all of the requirements for are also coincidentally all the jobs that either don't want to hire me, or just straight up won't get back to me. I'm sending out applications daily, so far I have gotten three interviews, one of which was for a job that it turns out I would not be physically capable of doing, the second ended up being filled before I could even get to the second interview, and I still haven't heard back from the third. Needless to say, I have absolutely zero income right now.

This is my cat.

Her name is Catra.

Catra recently got extremely ill to the point of needing to be hospitalized, which meant that between me and my family, she has recently cost well over $3000. At this point, my family cannot afford to help me with any more medical costs for her, and I can't afford to continue with extra medical costs for her if I want to still be able to feed her until I do manage to get a job. Thankfully she has made a very strong recovery, for the most part...

However, she is also now battling a nasty coccidia infection that seems to be resistant to the medication the vets had given her. Which means I am once again going to need to send in a $75 stool sample and pay for a different medication. My parents will not help now as they have already gone over budget for her and also believe it is my fault that I haven't been able to find a job, but I literally cannot live without this cat. I will not live without this cat. She is all I have left right now.

So that said. If you have even a little bit to spare, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm asking for $100 $79.50 to cover the stool sample and the medication. Thank you in advance.

Please make sure if you do send anything that you select the 'friends and family' option. If you can't send anything, I would appreciate reblogs and signal boosts. Thank you.

$36.26/79.50

paypal: @binonjay

venmo: @BiNonJay

cashapp: $BiNonJay

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

This morning, 15 minutes after the break in fighting was supposed to begin, Hamas fired two rocket barrages into southern Israel. This is what we mean when we say that Hamas has broken every ceasefire ever. The only reason why this didn't lead to the hostage deal falling apart, is because Israel chose to "contain" Hamas' violent rocket attack. But remember this when we explain why we can't accept Hamas' existence anymore.

Israel confirmed that the 13 hostages being released have arrived in Egypt, and there are already Israelis there, taking care of them. IDK when we'll get their names, and images of them safe back in Israel, but as you can imagine, everyone here is holding its breath for that. Still, their well being comes first, they're being taken to a hospital first, to see their families, and only then (and based on whatever they prefer) will there be anything more public. There will not be interviews, however, 'coz something they say might risk the other groups of hostages meant to be released in the upcoming days.

Hamas is also releasing some of the Thai nationals they've kidnapped (I heard 12 of the 23 taken hostage), which are being let go of unconditionally. Before anyone tries to make out this shows Hamas is humane, I'll just point out that Hamas terrorists murdered at least 33 Thais on Oct 7.

Some of my fave commentators recently on what's going on here since Hamas' massacre aren't Jewish, or even Israeli. Here's a few of their tweets:

Regarding the last one, I just wanna say that most Israelis will continue to trust most Arabs. That's just how we have always lived, despite the on going terror attacks. The day after Oct 7, I mentioned that I went to my hospital treatment. The guard there is an Arab guy. He carries a gun. I couldn't help but think about it. And then I did what I always do, I thanked him for his work (being a guard is difficult), and wished him a good day. He smiled big and wished me the same. He's lovely. What Hamas did on Oct 7 is not his fault. But the mistrust of survivors, and some of those who care about them, is also very human and understandable, as much as I'll continue to call on everyone not to generalize about Arabs, or any group.

Especially when some of Hamas' victims are themselves Arabs. Here's a young Israeli Muslim Bedouin woman, who has been speaking up on behalf of her friend, 17 years old Aisha al Ziadna, who was kidnapped by Hamas on Oct 7.

A Sky News reporter was particularly shameful the other day. She tried to use Israel's willingness to release 3 convicted terrorist per just 1 innocent civilian hostage to vilify Israel. Here's the reply she got:

Just a reminder, once again, that when you listen to western media, which is supposed to be objective, these are often their info sources on this conflict:

Speaking of lack of objectivity, an Israeli newspaper found out that the International Criminal Court has appointed a Danish lawyer to investigate the Israel-Hamas war, and it's a man (I'm not sure I'm transcribing his name from Hebrew correctly, but it should be something like Andreas Laursen) who has worked in the past for a Palestinian "human rights organization" which has been outlawed in 2021 for having ties to terrorist organizations, who was involved in 2018 in trying to make the case that Israel had committed war crimes, who has lived in the Palestinian city of Ramallah, and who is married to a Palestinian woman. This Israeli newspaper has contacted the ICC, asking why the person appointed to this investigation isn't someone who would at least appear to be unbiased. The answer was (I'm translating from the Hebrew article): "We maintain confidentiality about anything that pertains to specific subjects that are related to our employees. Every personal decision made by the head prosecutor fits the policy and relevant procedures that oversee the court's human resources matters."

Because there are still people denying the Hamas rapes:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by כאן חדשות (@kan_news)

I've spoken before about Liel, and how long it took to identify her body, but this tweet kind of broke me all over again.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[glitterquadricorn]

Amélie - Pierre Gasly

Summary: Baby Gasly wants to come earlier than planned. Pairing: Pierre Gasly x Pregnant!Reader Warning(s): that red flag of the Japanese gp, indirectly mentions Jules' crash in 2014, FIA slander, google translate usage, labor, pregnancy, childbirth (non-graphic). If I missed something, let me know. Word Count: 1,586 (instgram au post not included)

a/n: It's been a hot minute since I wrote for a real person and It's been months since I posted anything, so forgive me if this is awful. I'm trying my best.

a/n2: I've never been pregnant, nor do I plan to, fuck them kids, so forgive me if anything inaccurate.

BIG FAT THANK YOU TO @charlewiss. They helped me get unstuck! This fic shall be dedicated to them! :)

---

Pacing around the living room, hands on her waist, she breathed through a contraction. Once it passed, she noted it was quite stronger and more painful than the previous ones she felt throughout the day. Her due date was only three weeks away, so the contractions shouldn’t be this intense, right? Both Pierre’s parents and hers aren’t scheduled to fly out until a week before the baby is due and she didn’t have any friends staying with her, so if her water broke, she’d have to find a way to the hospital herself. A new fear unlocked.

She looked over to the TV just in time to see Pierre drive past a tractor that was on the track. The weather already made her feel uncomfortable prior to the race starting, but seeing just how close he was to hitting said tractor made her heart launch into her throat. Did the FIA not remember what happened in 2014? Were they trying to have a repeat? What she finds funny is they speak so much about driver’s safety and it being their top priority yet have tractors on the track while the race is still ongoing. They should’ve just canceled the race after Carlos crashed out if they wanted to practice what they preach.

The FIA collectively as a whole is her 13th reason.

A sharp pain shot across her belly, followed by a gush of liquid running down her legs. It was times like this where she wished she had someone with her. 

“No, no, no. This can’t be happening.” 

Moving carefully around the puddle at her feet, she frantically reached for her phone, calling Pierre hoping he answers. But of course he doesn’t, so she tries again and again. Nothing. He’s most likely doing post-race media. The next person she tried calling was his performance coach, Pyry. Fortunately for her, he answered.

All in one breath, “MYWATERBROKE.” 

“What was that?”

“My water broke, Pyry. I tried calling Pierre, but he didn’t answer.”

“Are you sure?”

“I know I didn’t just piss myself, Pyry,” She snapped. There was some shuffling in the background before the phone was handed over to Pierre.

“I’ll be on the first flight out, mon ange (my angel).” 

“It’s too early, Pierre.” She cried, “They're not allowed to be this early.”

“Everything will be okay. I’m going as fast as I can.”

“Please hurry.” 

Pierre’s heart ached hearing y/n’s quiet whines of pain. If he could, he’d take the pain away from her and put it all on him. As he left the circuit, he had one thought and one thought only; I’m going to be a dad soon!

Meanwhile, all the way in a hospital in Italy, y/n adjusted herself on the rather small hospital bed, trying to get comfortable. The contractions were practically on top of each other, and the last time a nurse checked her she was about four centimeters dilated. It was shaping up to be a long night and a long labor. 

“That contraction was off the charts!” Charlotte remarked. After settling in, y/n called Charlotte and without asking her to, Charlotte dropped everything and drove the three and a half hours from Monaco to Milan to be with her. She also did her a favor by calling both her and Pierre’s families.

“And I felt every second.” she winced, “Is there any update on where Pierre is?”

Charlotte pulls out her phone, tracking his flight. “He’s making his way towards Beijing right now.”

“I want him here.”

“I know you do, but don’t worry about it right now. Get some rest, you're going to need it.”

The sound of thumping from the monitor lulled her to sleep. After a couple hours worth of sleep, the nurse on call woke her up to check her dilation. She went from a four to a six. When the nurse saw the frustration on her face, she recommended taking a walk around the room or the labor and delivery floor. 

Taking their advice, her and Charlotte took laps around the nurse’s station. On the fourth lap, she turned to Charlotte, “Did I ever tell you how I told Pierre I was pregnant?”

“No. I don’t believe you did.”

Ever since the first positive pregnancy test, she thought of how she could tell Pierre. She didn’t want nor need anything big and elaborate. The more simple the better. Balloons in the shape of a pacifier? That would be great, but she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to suck the helium out if it, which is the fun part. There was also maybe the thought of sticking the positive test in a box full of grass from an Easter basket, but that can get messy and she didn’t feel like cleaning that up.

Just then a proverbial light bulb went off above her head. A simple card with a nice little note written on the inside. But then she remembered there was an unused birthday card in the drawer in her office desk. Heading off to her office, she opened the drawer in the middle, searching for the card, and once in her hand, she reached for a pen and began writing the note.

Dear Daddy, 

I am small, not yet born. I am a blessing, a gift from an unseen friend. I’ll bring you endless amounts of joy, love and laughter. I love you and momma oh so much. I can’t wait to meet you.

Love, 

Baby Gasly.

Her hand softly ran over her lower belly. She refused to believe there was a whole new life inside her. But then again, she could. Pierre and her could never really keep their hands off each other and there has been once or twice where they were reckless as far as not protecting themselves. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

The sound of keys in the door alerted her to Pierre coming home. “Mon amour (my love), I’m home.”

“Hey handsome! I got something for you.”

“Oh?” Pierre’s gaze went to the pink, glittery birthday card in her hand. “You know my birthday was weeks ago, right?”

“I know, but you should open and read it.”

He started reading the card as he was told. As his eyes scanned the words on the card, the smirk that was on his face turned into a broad smile. And when he got to the finish, his head snapped up.

“Are you serious? Please tell me you aren’t joking?”

“No, I’m not joking. We really are pregnant!”

Pierre wrapped his arms around her in a hug, careful not to squeeze her too tight. He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers, “Je t'aime, y/n. Je t'aime.”

“I love you too, Pierre.”

She and Charlotte went back to her room once she said she had felt immense pressure in her pelvic area. A nurse came in to check her and announced that she was fully dilated and ready to push. 

“But Pierre isn’t here! I want him here! I can’t do this without him!”

Charlotte grabbed y/n’s hand, “While it’s unfortunate that Pierre isn’t here, but I am. You can do this, I know you can. Now, let’s have ourselves a baby, yeah?”

Nurses came in and out of the room, prepping and getting things ready. The doctor followed soon after.

“On the next contraction, I want you to take a deep breath in and push downward, holding it for about ten seconds. Okay?”

A familiar pain washed over her, and she did as she was told: she pushed. Her attention kept going towards the door, hoping Pierre would walk through. But she didn’t have time to think about him not showing up because another contraction hit and she pushed through it.

“That was a good push, y/n.” the doctor smiled, “The baby's head is out. All I need is one real good push. Think you can do that for me?”

Nodding her head, she took in a breath and gave one final push. Suddenly, the pain and pressure was relieved and a loud, piercing cry rang throughout the room. 

“It’s a girl!” the doctor announced. They placed the screaming baby on her chest.

“Hi! I’m your momma,” she said, tears rolling out of her eyes. “And this is your godmother, Charlotte.”

“What? Why? I mean, I’m honored.”

“Charlotte, you’re one of my best friends. You also dropped everything you were doing and drove all the way here to be by my side. I feel that naming you as the godmother is well deserved. Besides, Pierre and I were planning on naming you and Charles the godparents, anyway.”

“I- thank you. This means a lot.”

The two friends stared down at the beautiful baby with tufts of dark blonde hair. Her eyes were a dark blue, hopefully getting to the same shade of her father’s. They also had Pierre’s nose and lips. This baby essentially looked exactly like Pierre.

Hours later, the door to y/n’s hospital room opened, and Pierre stepped in. She raised her finger to mouth, quieting him so as to not wake Charlotte who’s asleep on the couch at the end of the bed. 

He sat next to her on the bed, “I’m sorry I missed it.”

“You were on your way, and that’s all that matters.” 

“Can I hold them?”

“You can hold her all you want daddy.”

“Her? It’s a girl?” Pierre carefully picked his daughter from y/n’s arms, “mon petit ange (my little angel).”

liked by yourinstagram, charlesleclerc, charlottesine and 425,267 others.

pierregasly: Amélie Antoinette Gasly.

view all comments

yourinstagram: I can't even get mad that she looks exactly like you.

↳ pierregasly: thank you for giving me such a beautiful little girl 💖

danielricciardo: DADDY GASLY!!!!!

charlesleclerc: Can't wait to spoil my godchild rotten.

↳ charlottesine: OUR*

yukitsunoda: my little sister :)

lewishamilton: Congrats you guys!

AlphaTauri: The newest member to the team! ↳ yourinstagram: you better get her alpha tauri contract ready! I reckon she'll be better driver than her father @pierregasly 🤣 ↳ pierregasly: 😒😒

sebastianvettel: Congratulations! If you ever need advice don't hesitate to call.

liked by pierregasly, alphatauri, mickschumacher and 252,126 others.

yourinstagram: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

view all comments

pierregasly: you make me happy when skies are grey. ↳ yourinstagram: you'll never know dear how much I love you ↳ pierregasley: please don't take my sunshine away.

---

I don't think this was too horrible for not posting in a while. ALL PICTURES ARE NOT MINE. CREDIT TO THE OWNERS.

Tagging:

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @sergeantjbuckybarnes @patzammit @yagirlmexic @awkwardfangirl2014 @beckieandhertardis @tinycyberhacker @streetghostfighter07 @distant-illusions @alisoncdariel @1awesomeash @nocturnalherb16 @thisismysecrethappyplace @rainysuitcaseprunegiant @geeksareunique @stressedandbandobessed7771 @xshinytrashcanx @finallyforgotten @keenmarvellover @inkybird @heshewumbo11 @shadow-dixon @mrspeacem1nusone @augustvandyne @harleyquinnpuddin @drayshadow @rue-cimon @lendeluxe @alexxavicry @lyeatoalinatoheaven

@charlewiss & @micks-afterglow

[tsaiko]

So the infamous letter that someone wrote their friend who was in the hospital with memory issues is making its way around Tumblr again. Which reminded me of a story idea I had where my version of Black from Swapfell wound up in the hospital and someone wrote a letter like it for him

Then I had the idea that Blue wrote the letter, and I couldn't stop writing until I had this. Enjoy.

***

READ THIS

Hi Sans! You’ve lost your short-term memory. This paper will update you on your condition, as your memory right now only lasts about five minutes, and you are asking the same questions again and again.

Where am I? You are in the ICU at Mt. Ebbott Memorial Hospital. Yes, this is the hospital with the good coffee. I made sure you didn’t go to “that pisshole hospital where the coffee is shit.”

What is today/How long have I been here? Today is August 4th, 20XX. You’ve been in the hospital since Aug. 1st. We were walking back from the grocery store, crossed the street, and someone ran a red right. You got hit trying to make sure I didn’t get hit. I would have been fine! I have high enough HP and had some armor on under my sweater.

What is wrong with me? The doctors think that the impact jarred the mana connections in your skull. You also have a broken arm, three broken ribs, a dislocated hip, and a bruised soul. Healing magic stabilize all the broken bones, but your mana lines and your soul have to heal on their own. The biggest issue right now is your sort term memory loss and confusion. You can talk and you recognize everyone, but you keep asking the same questions again and again. The doctors are hopeful that the memory issue and confusion are temporary and will resolve as your mana connections reform. However, there is a chance this could be permanent.

What am I going to do if my memory stays like this? We will support you. Slim will will still be there for you. I will still be there for you. We can get through this. Red has already asked if we can start a poker night and make sure you are invited five times. The joke is getting old.

Where is my brother? Slim is usually here. Sometimes he leaves to take care of your fish or shower or sleep, but he always comes back! He is doing fine. Stretch and Edge are making sure of it

Are we on the surface? Yes! You seem very confused about this. You and Slim went through a portal and are on the surface. You are not back Underground. No one is trying to deceive you or hurt you. Please stop threatening the doctors.

Did you put the groceries up? Unfortunately, most of the groceries got damaged by the car or lost in the excitement. Do not worry! I’ll replace them. You don’t owe me anything because they got messed up because you were trying to protect me.

I’m thirsty. There is water on the bedside table. No, you cannot have a beer.

Why is that bunny monster so familiar? That’s Jessica. She’s your nurse. She refuses to be intimidated by you. You keep calling her Captain and then being confused about it.

Do you think we could get this tile installed in our bathroom? You really seem to like this tile. You’ve asked about it so many times. No one knows what brand it is. But maybe we can go look when you feel better!

[killian-whump]

Hi everybody. Just a quick notice to let you all know there might not be any updates on this blog for a little bit. My mom had a stroke the other day, so keeping up with Colin --- Well, no. Keeping up with Colin is still possible for me, since he hardly does anything we can see anyway and the lovely soul behind @colinodonoghue will surely inform me if he does.

However, keeping up with this blog is gonna take the back burner for a bit, while I help my mom through this tough time and we all adjust to her new limitations and difficulties. I won't be checking my dashboard or seeing posts/mentions/replies on posts (including this one) regularly at all. I only have about an hour or so a day to catch up on ALL my usual things at home (the rest of the time is, for now, spent at the hospital, away from my computer), so please don't be hurt or offended if I don't respond to you here. I'm gonna leave Asks on so you can send me messages if you want to, but please be aware it might take me awhile to see them! I'll also be responding privately to them (or not at all to anonymous ones) so as not to gum up everyone's feeds with my thank yous ;)

I AM on Discord still, as it's the one app I have in the phone I'm borrowing for the time being. Username's the same, and I'm keeping up with the O'Donocrew server (you can join it here if you want to). But again, responses from me are slow and sporadic. Some days I have quite a bit of time to putter around, some days none at all. Please don't be offended if my responses take awhile and/or are a bit short.

As for my Mom's condition... Physically, she's doing pretty good and seems to be on track for a full recovery. There's weakness on her right side, a bit of spatial neglect (sometimes she forgets the right side is there), and some rigidity they're watching out for, but these are all things that are already improving a bit and should improve a lot more with physical therapy. Cognitively, she's a bit easily confused, but her mind is still sharp, her memories intact, and her personality unchanged. However, she's having the most problems with speech and there's a major disconnect between her mind and her mouth when it comes to being able to form words and say what's on her mind. It's highly frustrating for her and worrisome for us, because we want to make sure we're doing everything we can for her, but it's hard when she can't really tell us what she needs/wants. There seem to be improvements in this, little by little, everyday... so we're hoping with more therapy and practice, she'll keep improving and things will get much better. Overall, we're all so lucky and thankful it wasn't any worse, and we're being optimistic about the future.

Thank you for all the well wishes and love I know you guys would/will send. I always feel the love from you all - my mutuals, my followers, my secret lurkers... all of you, my friends. I love you all and will certainly be back as soon as possible to regale you all once again with my crazy hijinks and my immense love of Colin ❤️

Be well, be happy, and be good to one another ❤️❤️❤️

[sequinsmile-x]

Buy the Promises

It gets harder to keep the promise as time goes on, as Emily goes from his girlfriend to his fiancée to his wife. He wants nothing more than to put Elizabeth in her place, to stop her from hurting her daughter in a way that only she could. 

AKA The three times Aaron doesn't tell Elizabeth off, and the one time he does

Chapter 1/4

-x-

Hi friends!

This was an idea that very quickly turned into a four chapter fic. I really hope you like this, and the normal mommy issues that come along with Elizabeth being involved.

I have the rest of the chapters planned out so they should all go up over the next week or so around my other fics/updates.

As always, please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: Injury/hospitalisation

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily curses under her breath as she shifts in the bed, her hand pressed against her immobilised shoulder as she breathes through the pain. 

“Shit,” she says, leaning back against the pillow behind her, gritting her teeth as the wave of pain starts to dissipate. 

The takedown was supposed to have been simple enough, but they’d misjudged where the unsub was hiding in the abandoned warehouse they’d tracked him to. He’d pushed Emily into a wall with enough force that her shoulder had dislocated, forcing itself out of its joint as her head also connected with the wall, leaving her with a concussion.

There’s a quiet knock on her hospital room door and she looks up as it opens, smiling softly at her boyfriend as he walks in, concern painted across his features as he looks at her. He’d been so worried at the scene, immediately by her side as he instructed the rest of the team to chase down the man who’d hurt her. She was grateful that they were still in DC, that this hadn’t happened on the other side of the country, because she knew the flight home would have been rough on both of them. That any jolt would make pain shoot through her and Aaron would have to watch, wholly unable to help her in any way other than holding her hand. 

“Hi honey,” she says as he walks over, offering out her good hand to him, linking her fingers with his as he sits on the edge of the bed, “What did the doctor say?”

He squeezes her hand and reaches out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. He knew she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. 

“They said you have to stay tonight,” he says, pressing his lips together to stop himself from smiling when she reacts in the exact way he knew she would, a mix of disappointment and defiance spreading across her face as she scoffs. She opens her mouth to refuse it, to insist that she is fine to go home, but he cuts her off before she can, “I’ve spoken to Jess, Jack is already asleep so I’m going to stay here with you all night,” he says, smiling as she pouts, something he knew she would deny if he pointed it out, “Keep you company and out of trouble.” 

She can’t fight her smile, too much pain medication in her system to allow her to, so she nods instead, “I guess thats an acceptable compromise,” she says, removing her hand from his to tug at the collar of his jacket, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. She smiles as she pulls back, “Love you.” 

“Love you too sweetheart,” he replies, warmth spreading in his chest as he says the words, the ability to do so, to be so open in his affection for her still new enough that every time it was liable to take his breath away. 

They’d been together for four months. It was a type of happiness he never thought he’d find again, a type of love he didn’t think existed. It felt like a dream sometimes that they’d found each other after everything they’d both been through, a chance at a happy ending neither one of them thought they’d have. 

He clears his throat as he pulls back properly, his eyes fixed on her face as he tries to measure her reaction to the next part, well aware that it likely wasn’t going to go down very well.

“There’s something else,” he says carefully, his smile tight as he carries on, “Your mother is here.” 

Her eyes go wide in a way he’s sure would be funny in other circumstances and her mouth falls open, making her stutter for a moment before she finds her voice, “What? How? Why? You’re my emergency contact.” 

“I know, sweetheart,” he says, his hand landing on her thigh, the weight of his palm a comfort through the scratchy sheets, “The nurse said there was a mix-up with your file.” 

She rolls her eyes and groans, the sound turning into a pained one as she leans back and her shoulder hits the mattress a little too hard. He shushes her comfortingly, a sound she’s sure he’d find irritating if it was anyone other than him, his comfort something she sought out not something she avoided, and he cups her jaw, letting his thumb move back and forth on her cheek. 

“Any chance I can get away with not seeing her?” She asks, sighing when he raises an eyebrow at her, “Right, of course not. Because of everything about her,” she blows out a breath as she tilts her head to look at him properly, “Want to go hide somewhere?” she says, lifting her hand to reach up and run her fingers through his hair, “I wouldn’t blame you.”

Elizabeth didn’t know they were together. She was the last person they had to tell, and he didn’t take Emily’s reluctance to do so personally. He knew their relationship was beyond complicated, that there were many layers to it that he wasn’t even privy to yet. She wanted to protect their relationship, he knew that, and he would wait as long as she needed to.

He chuckles as he stamps a kiss against her forehead and then her lips before he pulls back, “I think I’d be a shitty boyfriend if I left you at the mercy of your mother.”

He stands up, suppressing a smile when she frowns at the loss of contact, and he walks over to the door, briefly popping his head out to let the nurse know to let Emily’s mother in. He walks back over and sits in the chair next to her bed, keeping a respectable distance so they wouldn’t get caught out. He feels himself itching to reach out for her hand, to link their fingers together so he could remind himself she was fine, that he still had her here with him. He knew he’d be hearing the scream of pain that had left her as her shoulder dislocated for days, the sound still echoing around his head. 

The door opens and Emily immediately tenses, forcing her to blow out a steady breath as her mother steps into the room. 

“Mother,” she says, smiling politely, “You didn’t have to come down here, I’m sorry they called you. I know you’re busy.”

“Nonsense, Emily,” Elizabeth says as she walks into the room, “I got a call that my daughter was in the hospital, of course, I’m going to…” she drifts off as she seemingly notices Aaron in the room, “Agent Hotchner, I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” she looks back and forth between Emily and Aaron and she clears her throat as she sits in the chair on the opposite side of Emily’s bed, “It’s nice to see you, despite the circumstances.” 

He smiles politely at her, his eyes flicking to his girlfriend, her discomfort clear to him even if it wasn’t to Elizabeth, “You too, Ambassador Prentiss.” 

Elizabeth hums as she looks back and forth between them, “So, do you always make a habit of sitting with your agents when they get injured at work?” She asks, clasping her hands together on her lap, “Although, I suppose it’s the right thing to do when they don’t have a spouse of their own or children, otherwise, they’d just be here by themselves.” 

Emily doesn’t have to look at Aaron to sense the protectiveness flowing off of him like cologne, the need to shield her from any kind of harm, even something as simple as passive-aggressive comments from her mother, stronger than usual. She knew he was carrying some guilt from not being able to stop her from getting hurt today. It was something that lingered from when Ian had torn through their lives, something that made itself known every time she got hurt even a little bit. His reaction to things as simple as a papercut or a blister from new shoes more aligned with the injuries she’d suffered then, the love he now had a name for trapped inside his chest at the time with nowhere to go. 

Later when he’d ask, she wouldn’t be able to explain what makes her reach out for his hand, why she links her fingers through his and makes a point of squeezing them in full view of her mother, but she does it. Love and affection, and no small amount of painkillers, making her braver than she’d felt in a long time. 

“Actually, Mother,” she says, looking back at Elizabeth, “Aaron is here because he’s my…” she drifts off, the word boyfriend always seeming so juvenile when she thinks about what he means to her, “We’re together.” 

Elizabeth’s only physical reaction is a slight raising of her eyebrows as she looks at Aaron and then at her daughter. She clicks her tongue and clears her throat, “I see,” she says, her lips pressed together, “You’ll have to accept my apologies, Agent Hotchner, Emily doesn’t tell me much about her life and I didn’t know that you two were…dating now.” 

Emily stops herself from rolling her eyes at her mother’s obvious attempt to bait her, “Well,” she says, squeezing Aaron’s hand in what she hopes he takes as a silent request to stay quiet, “We don’t exactly see each other a lot, and I don’t remember the last time you called.” 

She actually did remember the last time her mother called her. It was months ago, and it hadn’t been a social call but a request to go to an event she was hosting. It was shortly after Emily’s first date with Aaron, the giddiness from it all still lingering under her skin, his fingerprints still tattooed against her hips and thighs. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had a different relationship with her mother, if they’d been what each other had always wanted, she would have told her. If she would have sat on her couch and gushed over the new guy she was seeing to her mom and shared in her excitement for what she knew was the last relationship she’d ever be in, the feelings she’d had for Aaron for years confirmed by the first press of his lips to hers. 

“The phone does work both ways, Emily,” Elizabeth says, and Emily feels Aaron’s hand tense around hers and she squeezes again, briefly looking at him and shaking her head every so slightly. 

“Do you have any assignments coming up?” Emily asks, changing the conversation on purpose, wanting to move things along before Aaron marks his first meeting with her mother as more than just her boss by telling her off. 

By the time her mother excuses herself to leave Emily is relieved that it will just be her and Aaron again, the tension Elizabeth always brought to a room something she could do without on her best days, let alone when her head was aching and her shoulder was immobilised. Aaron shows her out, ever the gentleman in a way Emily’s sure should annoy her, and for a moment she’s alone. She rests her head back against the pillow and blows out a steady breath. She pinches the bridge of her nose and groans, the pulsing in her head that had been made worse by her mother’s presence making her want to do nothing more than sleep. 

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” 

She opens her eyes, groaning as the bright hospital lighting makes her head hurt even more and she smiles softly at him as he sits on her bed. 

“I’m okay,” she says, sighing, “I’m considering having Pen break into the hospital’s systems and fire the nurse who called my mom,” she says, her lips curling into a smile as he chuckles, “But I’m okay,” she looks at him and can see the stress that was still lingering in his jaw, the concern for her that was still in his eyes, and she smiles softly, “You know what I need though?”

He furrows his brow, ready to jump up and get whatever she wants, “What?” 

“You to climb into this bed with me,” she says, her smile getting wider as he immediately tries to argue with her, something she cuts off as she wraps her hand around his, “Please? You know I sleep better when we snuggle.” 

It’s a dirty trick and she knows it, the way he sighs as he leans forward and presses his forehead to hers a sign that he knows it too, “Em, baby, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

She cups the back of his head and stamps her lips against his, “You never could,” she says softly. There’s a beat of silence before he nods and she smiles widely, kissing him again before he stands up. 

He slips off his shoes and is careful as he climbs into the bed, both of them ignoring how she winces when she settles against him, the movement enough to jolt her shoulder. She sighs contentedly as he wraps his arms around her and she smiles when he kisses her temple. 

“Better?” He asks, his lips still against her skin, and she nods, turning her head to press her forehead into his neck. 

“Much better,” she replies, settling further into his embrace, into the comfort he always provided just by being there with her. 

“She didn’t even ask how you are.” 

She frowns, her brain not quite able to keep up, the pain and the medication catching up with her, exhaustion slowly taking over, “What?” 

“Your mom,” he says, holding her slightly tighter but still managing to ensure he doesn’t hurt her, “She didn’t ask how you are.” 

“Oh,” she says, chuckling mirthlessly, “Yeah,” she tilts her head to look at him, “She never does really. If she did we might get dangerously close to actually talking instead of just speaking.” 

He clenches his jaw, irritation at the mother of the woman he loves burning him from the inside out, “I always knew things were difficult between you,” he says, running his fingers back and forth over her arm, trying to press comfort into her skin, “But she was rude to you, sweetheart. The dig she made about you not having a spouse, and the comment about the phone going both ways. She’s your mother, she should-”

She can feel him getting worked up, the need to look after her, to protect her, coursing through him so strongly she can almost feel it. His love for her passing from his chest into hers as he sits behind her, his arms around her as they provide the anchor she never knew she needed. She cuts him off, her hand on his cheek as she encourages him to look at her. 

“Honey, my relationship with her has always been complicated. This…is as good as it’s ever going to get.” 

He frowns again, “But you deserve better.” 

“Maybe, but-”

“Definitely.” 

She presses her lips together to stop her smile from spreading, her cheeks already aching with it, “Even if I do, it’s not going to happen. She’s never going to change and I had to accept that a long time ago in order to maintain some kind of a relationship with her.” 

He sighs, “So you just accept the way she speaks to you?”

She hums as she nods, “And you’re going to have to too,” she says, and his frown deepens, outrage painted into the fine lines on his face, in the dark circles under his eyes that she can see in more detail when she’s this close. She cuts him off before he can say anything, “I don’t need you fighting my battles with her, Aaron. I’ve been doing it myself for as long as I can remember. What I do need is for you to be there afterwards,” she says, her hand cupping the back of his head, holding him in place as she looks deeply into his eyes, “Help me paint over any cracks she may have created.” 

He hates it, hates that she’s asking him to just sit back as her mother of all people continually hurts her, but he knows he has to. He was never one to deny her anyway, his desire to be exactly what she needed him to be something that had been around long before their first kiss. 

“Okay.” 

She smiles up at him, “You promise?” 

He nods, leaning in to kiss her quickly, his reply escaping even though he’s unsure if he’ll always be able to stick to it, “I promise.” 

She smiles and kisses him before she settles against him again, “I think I need some sleep.” 

He kisses her temple and runs his hand up and down her arm again, “You get some rest,” he says softly, “I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

“You promise?” She asks again, her words more slurred this time as she finally gives in to the pull of sleep. 

“I promise,” he repeats, well aware that was one he was able to keep. 

-x-

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[those70scomics]

Update

Hi, everyone! 🤗

I know I haven't been as chatty in private messages lately. It's not that I don't want to talk (you're all wonderful friends, wherever our relationship falls on the friendship spectrum). I have less emotional energy available for social interactions as my health recovery journey continues. Some people get more of me at times, and a different group of people get more of me at others. But you're all here: my ❤️.

I had my latest follow-up with my surgeon today, and we discussed what will eventually happen. I've got two surgeries to look forward to, not just one (surprise, me!), but it makes sense, and they'll only be four to six weeks apart.

I'm not physically ready for them yet, though, so I'll see him again next spring.

I'm doing really well with my physical therapy. It's time to bump it up a notch! My legs are strong. My balance is great. My right shoulder unfroze a few months ago, and I'm continuing to work on my arm's range of motion (it's already so much better).

My surgical wound is 3/4 the size it was six months ago. From the Grand Canyon to a skinny fish? Snake? Eel? 😅

There are other details, but I've shared more personal info on my blog ever since I survived death than I have before. I am a very private person, but sharing my journey with you has been helpful -- and since I'd just disappeared when I went to the hospital, which understandably worried a lot of you, I want to keep you informed.

(My mom shared with me today that when I went to the emergency room the third time, the surgeon said to her and my dad -- and me, but I have no memory of it -- that I had an hour, maybe two, to live if I didn't have surgery to remove my colon.)

On the T7S fanworks front, I've spent a few hours on the remaining comics I've drawn. I've got a whole episode to post eventually. The dialogue boxes are all there. I "only" need to place and size the zillion of them.

Happily, I've found I can write quite efficiently on my tablet using my stylus. I've moved on from lightly revising (and refamiliarizing myself with) Those Who Play with Demons to writing new material for it. I'm on the second-to-last section (out of twenty-three sections). Each section has anywhere from two to ... eleven chapters (thus far 🤭).

This story is going to be 120 chapters at the minimum. But it's organized in such a way that each section is self-contained while also being part of the overall narrative. Character development, plot, foreshadowing, and mysteries galore!

Also demons. 😱

[marvelsdc22]

Seeking Forgiveness

Summary: When life and stress gets to you, you make a decision, whether it was a good decision or not is a different story.

Your remaining time in Rhode Island went by quicker than expected, heading to the bus stop and saying goodbye to everyone as you went hurt a bit since in the short amount of time you had been there, they had become like a second family to you and you would miss them like crazy, but you knew you had to go back to reality at some point.

When you finally returned home several hours later, you brought yourself to the apartment you had found, planning on grabbing your things from Lena’s place after your guys talk that was happening in a few days, your apartment was a simple studio apartment, it being empty aside from the kitchen and bathroom furniture so you knew you’d be sleeping on the floor for a few nights which was fine, you did say you needed a fresh start.

Setting your bags down, you sighed as you looked around the small space available to you, trying to think of what your priority was to get first, a bed obviously but also groceries were a top priority as well, getting interrupted by your thoughts when your phone rang, pulling it from your pocket and freezing when you saw it was Alex, taking a deep breath to steel yourself before you answered the phone.

“Alex? Hey, what can I do for you?” You answered, cringing at how awkward you sounded, but you knew there had to be a reason that she was calling you out of the blue like this after ghosting you for so long “Kara’s calmed down some… She uh… She told me everything” Alex said, sounding just as awkward as you did since she hated admitting that she was wrong about something.

“Oh? How’s she doing? I tried to call the hospital but they never had any updates for me” You said, starting to pace some in the small space you called your living room “She’s okay, the drug that was injected into her gave her some bizarre powers, but she’s slowly learning to control them” Alex said, biting her lip before she spoke again “Look, I’m sorry for ghosting you… I blamed this whole thing on you and- well it wasn’t right of me to do that” she admitted, causing you to raise your brows in shock since she was not one to admit she was wrong so easily.

Once you recovered, you smiled slightly “No, you had every right to be upset with me… I was the one that unintentionally dragged Kara into the situation and I feel so guilty about what happened-” taking a deep breath “-Do you think you guys could ever forgive me? I miss my best friends” you admitted softly, biting your lip and fidgeting with a loose string on your shirt “Can we meet in person?” Alex asked to which you quickly agreed, the two of you meeting at the diner in twenty minutes.

When you arrived at the diner, you awkwardly stood in a corner until Alex arrived, her hair looking a little longer since the last time you had seen her, watching with butterflies in your stomach as she approached you, the two of you staring at one another for a long moment, you unsure what the right move was before you were suddenly engulfed in her arms, letting out a relieved sob before you gripped her in a tight hug, the two of you breaking down in the corner of the diner but neither of you cared.

Finally pulling back, you wiped your eyes before you gave her a small smile “Your hair looks good, I like it” you complimented, smiling a bit more when she let out a chuckle before she thanked you and led you to a table, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence while you both looked through the menu even though you both knew what you were getting already “I’m sorry” you both blurted out at the same time, causing you both to laugh before you set your menu down.

“I’m sorry for not trying to talk to you sooner… And for running off like I did” You said, messing with your fingers as you tried to keep eye contact with her “No, I’m sorry for ghosting you and not trying to reach out… I feel like we both need each other right now, I shouldn’t of dropped you so fast without talking first” Alex apologized, knowing that she nearly destroyed your guys friendship without thinking before doing just like you felt “Friends again?” You asked, timidly holding your non mechanical hand out to her which she took “Always”.

The two of you spent over an hour at the diner just catching up and talking, you admitting to her and yourself that you were going to find a therapist, your self destructive behavior not helping anyone and you knew you couldn’t do it on your own “Have you talked to Lena?” Alex asked, tapping her fingers on her coffee mug “Yeah, she wants to talk in person… Unfortunately I have a lot of making up to do, so I don’t see us getting back together for a while” you said, although you were prepared for it and you wanted to do right by her and try to be the person that she deserved.

When you got back home to your lonely apartment, having made sure to stop by the store to get some groceries for the week and some blankets to use as a bed for the time being, you sighed as you settled down on your little blanket makeshift bed with the single pillow and pulled your knees to your chest, you were starting from square one and that scared you, but you knew that in the end it would help you heal and become the person that everyone in your life deserves.

Getting as comfortable as possible on your blankets, you plugged your phone into the charger and sighed as you rested your head on the pillow, trying to decide what to tell Lena tomorrow when you saw her at the coffee shop, you owed her a major apology and you owed her an explanation, but you knew that the ball was in her court on your relationship, your future could change forever with this conversation.

Taglist:

@unexpected-character

[wildestdreamsblog]

Is there a lifetime waiting for us?

Pairing: Soft!dark Ari Levinson x Reader

Summary: You were just trying to escape your past, and Ari was trying to chase his future.

Warnings: Soft!Dark Ari, Swearing, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Sexual themes, Breeding kink, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: it’s been a month! This is an almost 6k update and I had to physically stop myself because I have too much to write (and also my writer’s block kind of disappeared for a while ehehe a blessing!) next will be the end! Thank you so much my loves!

Masterlist

This love is bad: Part Five

“Thank you,” Jess whispered as the two of you looked at the sleeping Ishmael. He was slumbering peacefully, his chubby cheeks red squeezed on the pillow. His operation was a success. Although it was not guaranteed, the expensive hospital and the experienced doctors definitely increased the chance of success. Money really did know no bounds.

You patted Jess’ hands softly. You knew the past couple of days weren’t kind to her if her disheveled state was any indication. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from sadness, not only for Jess, for the baby, but also for what he had became.

You sometimes wondered if it was you that pushed him into the very edge.

Had you listened to his side, would he be like this?

“Anything for you. You know that,” you assured her, offering her a warm, encouraging smile. It was already late at night when you and Ari went to the hospital, with Ari handling everything for them like the dependable man that you initially knew him to be. You willingly went with the stranger that he was just like the hopeless case that you were. You only finally breathed when the doctors said the operation was a success, that the little boy only had to recover and then he could finally go home.

Through all that, you never once looked at Ari. Regardless of your coldness to him, you constantly felt his eyes on you. Regardless of the space you kept putting in between the two of you, you still felt his hands constantly touching you.

What perhaps was your tipping point was seeing him genuinely cared for the well-being of his god son. You knew Ari. You could see in his eyes the fondness he had for baby Ishmael, and the way his eyes lit with compassion as he assured his friends that everything was going to turn out just fine. However, if he was remorseful, he didn’t show it.

The sound of the suite door opening snapped your from your reverie, prompting you to look at Isaac first, and then to him.

Isaac was Jess’ pillar as their world almost fell apart, holding her hand through all the debacles life threw their way. Despite it all, Isaac swore he would rather suffer with Jess than to be happy with someone else. And you could see that. The moment Isaac’s eyes found Jess’, it was apparent that the heavy burden he was holding on his shoulder became lighter. The way Jess looked at Isaac as if their souls were speaking, like they were the only ones in a crowded room, that everything was going to be okay as long as they had each other. It was the love that was warm, and safe, and calm.

And that was the kind of love you hoped for.

That was the kind of love you almost had with him.

And then your eyes shifted to the one still in your heart, only to find him looking intently at you. He didn’t know how to tell you, but now that you were near, he felt calmer. When he let you leave, it was as though his entire world had shifted, disturbing the very ground he stood on, awakening each crevices of the already existing cracks in his very soul. You walked away and his world turned dark.

If you had any idea how much you were loved by him, if you had any idea how you were the only one who could keep the light in his life, that if you leave again he would forever be the darkness itself…would you accept him? If you had an ounce of idea, would you run to the hills?

“Come,” Ari called you, his voice deep as he reached to hold your hand, “let’s give them space.”

“You like pasta, right?” Ari asked absentmindedly, his eyes not straying off the menu he was handed by the attendant as soon as he stepped in the exclusive restaurant. The attendant took one looked at him and immediately assisted them. You knew this place as you had been here before. You knew one needed a reservation for this place, and yet Ari strolled in like he owned the place.

He looked like he owned the place.

It didn’t take long before all the food he ordered came. You were relieved food came so swift because the way Ari was looking at you was starting to feel excruciating.

“You plan on eating all of these?” You asked bewilderedly as the waiter continuously placed artful and mouthwatering plates on the table.

“Ari, I know you have big appetite but there is no way you can eat all of these,” you scolded before finally noticing how he did that thing as he always did. He was giving you portion of his food, as if it was innate in him to do so. And you got hurt all over again.

“What are you doing?” You asked coldly, straightening your back and looking directly at his clueless face, as if he did nothing wrong. He ceased cutting his steak slowly, glancing at you before letting go of his utensils.

“I-I just thought you’d like to taste what I ordered-“

“Did I ask you to do that?”

“Well, no-“

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” you snapped reproachfully, a tone he never heard you used before. You hated this. How could he be so thoughtful one moment and be the villainous man the next?

He nodded, biting his lower lip unsurely before offering you a small smile apologetically. “Force of habit.”

You observed him, truly observed him. You didn’t know why, you had no explanation as to why you didn’t notice that he lost weight. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping properly evidenced by the dark bags under his eyes. His hair was definitely longer now, just an inch past his broad shoulders. Perhaps, the suit he wore hid the changes in his body. Or maybe, your remorse and sorrow made you blind.

He was eating slower, and his posture made it seemed like he was making himself smaller. And your heart ached, but this time it was for him.

Perhaps, the thing that you were still failing to see was that underneath it all, he was just the young child wanting to be loved, lashing out because he couldn’t get the love he craved for.

“We need to talk,” you announced in defeat after a moment of silence, after suffering through a quiet dinner.

Ari sipped from his glass of wine, regarding you over the glass before gesturing for you to speak.

“What did you mean by giving you a chance?”

“Going on dates, knowing where you are, you not running from me.”

“Until when?”

He couldn’t answer that, because there was no limit to this love. There were no specific number or days, weeks, months, years that you could give him and they still wouldn’t be enough… there was just no end to his love.

“I can’t do this, Ari. You know I can’t,” you enunciated to him, because you knew, you just knew you couldn’t survive another heartache from him. If you let him, you knew you would find yourself in his orbit again, uncaring of the hurricane that he unleashed, of the darkness inside of him. If you let yourself forget, you knew all those years running would be for nothing.

“I’ll take what you can give. I just can’t live without you.” He said it as if it was a fact, as if he was talking about the weather, as if he was not pouring his heart out to you.

“You told me that you’re going to be honest with me from now on. Were you telling the truth?”

“I am.”

“Then can I trust you to not have me followed around?” You asked him and you saw him visibly froze. Ari was having a hard time with what you were asking of him, the controlling side of him fighting to know you were okay, to know you were safe. But he also recognized that he had to step back, that if he didn’t honor your wishes, he wouldn’t have all of you. That if he got you to stay, it was because he left you no choice.

He didn’t want that.

He wanted you to choose him because you loved him..like you made him feel before.

But how could he silence the demons in his mind?

“Can I trust you not to control my life like my father did?” You added when you noticed his calculating look, and you knew you had to say this.

With his jaw clenched tight, he perused. “You have my word.”

“Can I trust you not to go back on your word?”

Ari chuckled under his breath, his arm resting comfortably on the table. He leaned in, touching the back of his hand on your cheek. He was watching his hand on your skin fascinatingly, before saying in a conversationalist tone, “Sweetheart, if I wanted to, I could just take you. You are so little I can just snatch you over my shoulders, and no one here would stop me. Not even your bodyguard. Not even your father. Not even your family. I would take you somewhere remote, somewhere with just the two of us. We do need an alone time, darling. We’ll stay there until you learn to love me again, or maybe until we start a family of our own. A little you running around…And this time, you wouldn’t be able to escape.”

Your breath hitched when he reached your lips, caressing them once. You gulped as you listened to him, your heart beat louder as he painted a picture of the ways he could keep you, of his prowess that he was merely suppressing.

Ari’s blue eyes found yours again before offering you a smile, “But I won’t do that. Because you’re giving me another chance…right darling?”

It was a miracle that Ari let you leave by your own. He only watched you with his dark eyes as you walked out of the restaurant. You kept looking behind your back to see if anyone was following you, but you didn’t find anyone. It was a strange thing to trust Ari’s words, but you did somehow. You didn’t know if it was stupidity, or the way he was tonight. But you knew he wasn’t going back on his words.

With you hands on your coat, you walked serenely, digesting everything that happened today. And it was a lot. You wondered how you were going to tell everything to Bucky, but at the very least you had the right mind to message him what you had to do. He only asked if you were okay and to call him if you needed saving. He implied several times throughout the message that he was going to ruin Ari’s pretty hair if he hurt you in any way.

Your thoughts started running a mile, the future seemed daunting. You didn’t know what to do. You were so lost in your thoughts it took you a moment to feel the steady drops of the rain, slowly and then all at once. Unconsciously, you turned around and ran. It was hours later though when you realized what you had done.

Yet again, you came for him without any questions.

Your breath was ragged when you reached the restaurant, your hair dripping from the rain. You were mindless of your state, you were only thinking of Ari.

Like a despondent masterpiece, one that people would looked at, only to wonder what made such a beauty so sad- there he was, standing outside the restaurant, with his hand deep in his pocket. His posture would almost appeared to be nonchalant, but the way his hand trembled in his pocket gave him away. The way his arm was rigid did not fool you. The rain still petrified him. And you realized that seeing him terrified upset your very being.

You walked to him as you fished the umbrella you had in your purse, opened it, and held it up to him as you faced the road. Ari suddenly didn’t feel the drops of the rain, waking him from his stupor. Suddenly, the rain couldn’t touched him. And when he looked down, he noted that it was all because of you.

The love of his life returned.

“You came back,” he said in unrestrained wonder.

You scoffed, “This does not mean anything.”

It did.

You stepped out of the bus, the cold wind and the resumption of the drizzling rain made you hugged your coat a little tighter. You should not have been taken a back to see your confidant and friend, Bucky, leaning against the post with a nonchalant look on his face, in his hand was a black umbrella. Wordlessly, he walked near you, opening the umbrella and holding it above the two of you.

You looked up at his tall frame and his at eased body. His hand was comfortably resting in his pocket as the other one held the umbrella up. He side-eyed you before rolling his eyes at you.

“What?”

“I’m sorry for leaving the house,” you started, the feeling that you did something wrong was resurfacing now that you were beside Bucky. For heaven’s sake, he risked his life and lost his job because of his loyalty and friendship to you. And what did you do?

You made deal with the devil himself.

“I’m sorry for not asking you first-“

“Princess, stop it,” he admonished you, narrowing his eyes at you for good measure. “You did nothing wrong. You’re a grown ass, smart woman capable of making her own decisions. Anyone who thinks that they can control you are idiots. Also, ew, I’m not your captor.”

You chuckled at his lengthy anecdote of your own capabilities and that you were an independent woman who could make your own way in the world.

“-foolish, dim-witted men thinking they can control you.”

You couldn’t help but let out the burst of laughter you had been holding since he started his verbal onslaught.

“Are you calling my father dim-witted, foolish, stupid, and idiot?”

He didn’t even pause to think and just nodded his head. “I’ve always wondered how a man such as him could produce smart and well-emotionally adjusted daughters.”

You wrinkled your nose, “It’s a wonder, right? I guess we’ll never know.”

You were almost near the house when Bucky discreetly looked behind you. “You know what tonight’s wonder is? He didn’t have you followed.”

“I asked him to let me go.”

“And he said yes?”

“He did.”

“Hmm.”

“So…what do you think I should do?”

He scoffed and looked at you as he opened the front door. He didn’t even look thoughtful as he led you in the house. “I don’t know, maybe start being honest to yourself.”

“As if you’re honest to yourself!” You shot back, clutching your hand to your chest as though you were angered by his statement.

“I am-“

“So you admit you’re head over heels over my sister?”

He chuckled before shaking his head, his eyes dark and serious when he answered, “I’m not delusional, princess. I know what I feel for her. And what I feel for her is more than that.”

The night was equally never-ending and brief, and yet, you stayed up staring at the ceiling with your phone clutched carefully in your hand. You had been contemplating what your next step would be, and Bucky’s words echoed in your head. You found it difficult to make a decision, too scared to make a wrong one and yet, too tired to stay at the same place you were stuck on.

You heard heavy footsteps and the front door closing, and you knew Bucky was out for the day. The sun was steadily rising, the light seeping through the thin curtains. Without another thought, you dialed Ari’s number.

Perhaps, you didn’t expect him to answer his phone seeing as it was still early. Perhaps, you were even wishing he wouldn’t answer, but he did. The phone only rang twice before you heard his baritone, groggy voice on the other line. You didn’t even let him finish when you abruptly sputtered on your condition.

“Three dates.”

Ari paused for a moment, his languid mind yet to make sense of what you said. “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today, darling.”

You jumped when you saw him requesting a video call. And yet, you accepted.

“There’s my pretty woman,” he mumbled, a small smile spreading on his face as he looked at you. Ari looked handsome when he was up and awake, but if anyone saw him just as he was waking with his messy hair, his beard, and if anyone heard how he sound in the morning, they would say he was more than beautiful. He was magnificent. “How did I get so lucky to have someone as spectacular as you?”

You wrinkled your nose at him, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Ari.”

He lifted his eyebrow and chuckled, his laughter deep. “It’s not flattery when I’m telling nothing but the truth, sweetheart.”

“Three dates.”

You saw his eyebrows lifted, confused as to what you were saying.

“I’ve thought about it. I computed and the result revealed that three dates are the most optimal number of dates for the chance-“

“Wait, hold on. You computed?”

“Yes.”

“What formula did you use?”

You paused before frowning at him, “Keep asking and we’ll be down to two dates.”

Ari pursed his lips, his smile wide as he closed his eyes. From this angle you could see that he was once again sleeping bare-chested. You swore that this man was allergic to clothes when he was sleeping. His chest hair was peeking, he looked comfortable. And now you hated how you missed sleeping in his arms.

“You know normally, deals have further conversations to hear both sides,” he started, his voice conversationalist as if he was talking about the weather. “We have counteroffers to ensure that we get the best out of the deal.”

You wanted to point out that there was a reason why you didn’t go in a business school, but you instead asked him what he wanted.

“I want access to you, darling. Like we used to have. If I only have three dates with you, I want it all.”

“But what-“ you started protesting when he cut you off, his blue eyes piercing as he stared heavily at you.

“And in turn, I’ll tell you all that you want to know.”

You saw Ari waiting for you inside the coffee shop. He looked grumpy, yet what you noticed was instead of his fancy, probably too-expensive clothes that he had been wearing, he was sporting a much simpler look. He was wearing what he used to wear back in the town. Similar to a moth drawn to a flame, his eyes found yours. You smiled exaggeratedly, waving annoyingly at him from the window before entering the coffee shop, the chosen meeting place. You looked around as you entered, noting several women looking at his form. You couldn’t even blame them because he really looked like he stepped out of the imagination of one when you hear the world ‘Masculine’.

And yet, darling his eyes were only for you.

“You’re late, darling,” he greeted you, in front of him was a hot cup of coffee that had long cooled off, and a pastry.

“Time is just an illusion, according to Einstein. Who am I to refute the claim of the smartest man to ever walk the earth?”

He scoffed before gesturing for the waiter. Within a minute, an iced coffee was set in front of you, as well as your favorite pastry. And all of what he ordered in advanced were your favorites.

“Einstein wasn’t the most intelligent man to ever walk the earth, sweetheart. In fact, he wasn’t even on the top ten highest IQ-“

“How do you even know that?” You inquired him, both finding it weird and amazing how his brain worked.

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, “I read it somewhere.”

“Ari!” You almost jumped from the surprise of children running to him. You weren’t familiar with the place. He drove for an hour out of the city before arriving at this homey, yet spacious place. You turned to look at Ari and you found him kneeling down to hug the children. Their toothless grin, their wander-filled eyes, and their excited voices warmed your heart.

“You’re back, Mr. Levinson,” a middle-aged woman greeted him with a pleasant smile on her face. Ari stood up as he messed with the little boy’s hair. “And you brought a guest!”

“Cleo, this is my fiancé, Y/N,” he introduced you in a way that had you glaring at him before smiling sweetly at the good-natured woman. “Darling, this is Cleo. She’s one of the main caretaker of the place and the children.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Cleo offered you her hand, shaking it gently. “The kids have been constantly asking Ari when he’d have wife of his own. I thought he’d never find someone for him since he’s so workaholic. But I’m glad to finally meet you!”

You blushed as you looked at Ari, finding it harder to refute his claim with these many children looking up at you with excitement in her eyes. And Cleo looked at you like you were already his wife.

And Ari, oh Ari was just smug enough to wrap his beefy arm around your shoulder. He even had the audacity to kiss the top of your head lovingly knowing that you couldn’t do anything in front of the children. Ari looked like he was enjoying this, and you were already plotting how you would take your revenge.

“Come inside, let me show you around, Mrs. Levinson,” Cleo smiled as she walked inside the place.

“Oh, I’m not-“

“She said let’s go Mrs. Ari Levinson,” Ari whispered before once again, placing a kiss on your cheek. He hummed as he pulled your hand and guided you inside.

The place looked well-kept, nothing like the other charity places you had been to whenever your father wanted to flex his money and pretend like he cared about the people. This place looked like it was filled with hope, like the people working here actually cared instead of just working for this for money. The place even had access to good education, health, as well as psychologist that the children could see. It saddened you though to hear how some of these children were abandoned from the very young age, some were abused, and some were orphaned.

Ari brought food for everyone, even spending time to play with them. And by the time the children had to rest, he found you sitting on the swing on the playground. He sat down quietly, offering you a smile.

“When did you start this?”

He looked up, the afternoon sun shining on his face. It took him a moment to say something. “When I turned eighteen, as soon as I had access to a portion of my trust fund. My father brought me to one of his charities. But then he wanted to close this one, claiming that he better used his money to something that can generate more money, that greedy bastard. I couldn’t let the children be homeless,” he shrugged as though it wasn’t much of a big deal, as if this didn’t prove that he was indeed a good person, a hero. You were feeling conflicted because he started out as your hero, too…and now he was your personal villain.

“You really care about them, don’t you?” You whispered, looking intently at his serene face.

“I do. I don’t want any children to grow up without anything, to grow up with people who didn’t know how to love them. I guess..I don’t want anyone to experience what I experienced…the feeling of hopelessness was something I swore to never feel again.”

“You’re a good man, Ari,” you whispered softly, offering him a smile for the first time since that happened.

He observed you for a moment, an intense emotion passing his face before he stood up and kneeled in front of you, holding chains on each side of you to steady you before running his huge hand on your hair. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on yours.

“You know I’ll never be cruel to any of our children, right?” He asked you as you looked into his eyes. “I’ll love them all equally. I’ll love them the way my mother loved me, the way that is right. I’ll take care of them…of you. My family will always come first to me.”

You nodded because you knew deep inside you that Ari just wanted a family of his own, that he’d take care of them because that was who he was. You knew he’d love his family so deeply, you knew he’d protect them. And if you were being honest, you sometimes lie awake at night and thought of what would have been your life with Ari. Your foolish heart yearned for that future where you and him lived happily.

“And my heart would be only for their mother. I’d only have eyes for her…for you. I’ll only ever love you.”

The second date happened days after his heartfelt expression of his love for you. You weren’t pretentious to claim that what he said didn’t move you. Because you were there, you saw it, you felt it, and you knew him.

But still, a heart that had been burned once was terrified of trusting, of taking the leap of faith.

Your annoying phone woke you up from an exceptional dream, one that included an extremely handsome man. With a grunt, you answered your phone. “It’s five in the morning, I was dreaming of Glen Powell, why on earth are you calling me?”

“Who the fuck is that man?”

“My crush. Now what do you want?”

“Silence, sweetheart. I’m googling who that is,” Ari answered with a dark voice, his face full of concentration.

“What do you want?” You repeated with an annoyed huff, your eyes closing on its own.

“I’m waiting for you near the bus station. We’re going on our second date, darling.”

You closed your eyes and contemplated on the deal you made. You meant, was that a really good deal? Maybe you could risk breaking the deal off for a few minutes of sleep? You thought that was worth it. Maybe you could move again to another town, one that was far from Ari just for an additional minutes of sleep.

With an irritated groan, you sat up. You hated making people wait ever since you were young. You felt like it was disrespect to them, and now you loathed your principles.

With an irritated glare, you climbed in the car and closed the door with more force than necessary. You were about to launch your tirade when Ari lifted an iced coffee and food to you, smiling innocently at you before blinking owlishly.

You mumbled your thanks as he started driving leisurely, his muscular arm resting on the side of his door, the other one effortlessly holding the steering-wheel.

“You know, Glen Powell is only six feet tall.”

You looked at him, wondering where he was going with this.

“I’m just saying…I’m 6’4,” he added cooly, side-eyeing you long enough to see you raised your brows.

“A-are you competing with an actor that has rock-hard abs?” You asked in disbelief with a chuckle in your voice. You were enjoying seeing this huge man sulking and jealous of someone who would never knew who you were in this lifetime.

“I have abs,” he mumbled incoherently, muttering how he should be the only man you had a crush on.

The sun had already shone above you when you woke up from your sleep. You turned to see Ari humming quietly along the song. He was now sporting dark sunglasses. He turned to smile at you when he saw you waking up. You noticed that the seat was now leaning back, allowing you to sleep more comfortably, draped on you was a jacket that smelled just like him. You couldn’t help but answer him back with a smile of your own.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart.”

‘There’ turned out to be a stunning beach with its white sand, blue water, and an almost empty shore. Ari led you to a white, beach house. In his hand was your and his carryon, in his other was your hand clutched securely in his. The house had a homey feeling in it. You watched him as he placed the bags in a room.

“You own this?”

“Uh, yeah,” he answered from across the room. “I inherited this from my mom.”

The place turned out to be the most treasured place of his mother. She had been meaning to bring Ari here when she unfortunately met her demise. He wouldn’t even know this place existed had he not discovered it through a lawyer, one that his father omitted on telling. You looked around the place, admiring the neat look, the wooden flooring, and the bright aura it had. You also noticed upon your snooping around that the place only had one bedroom. You found Ari preparing food in the kitchen. He was now sporting a shorts you were used on seeing on him whenever he ran. His taut bottom was making you melt that you physically had to tear your eyes away from him.

“The place only has one bedroom,” you mused your thoughts as you neared him, grabbing an apple and biting on it as you waited for him to say something. He looked at you, his eyes amused as he raised his brows.

“Oh?”

“Yes, oh.”

Ari stopped preparing the food and within a minute, he prowled to you, his form like a predator. He didn’t stop, not when he was a foot away from you, not when he was practically on you. Ari trapped you with his muscular arms on either side of you, he was so close that you could feel the heat emitting from his body. He was so near that you could feel his hardness.

Your breath hitched as he looked at you with unrestrained heat in his eyes.

“You shared my bed every night back then,” he whispered in your ear, his beard tickling your neck that you had to put your hands on his chest, the apple long forgotten. You couldn’t move him even if you put all your weight. “You slept in my arms so peacefully each night.” Ari ran his hand to your smooth neck, down to the middle of your chest, and slowly to your stomach. His breath deep as he growled lowly, “I felt you come apart on my cock each night. I know what you feel like from the inside.”

“That was before-“

“What’s the difference, my sweet darling? Didn’t you say time is just an illusion? Hmm?” He teased as he inhaled the alluring scent of your neck, making you breathe harder.

You could feel your core tingling from his well-crafted words, could feel your knees weaken that your last ditch effort was to push him once again. And to your surprised, he let you moved him with a promise or a threat in his eyes.

You panted as you held his darkened eyes. With a forced smile, you said, “Let’s go for a swim!” You were hoping that he’d dropped the act.

Yet, you were wrong.

You were about to run to the water with an excited smile on your face, your barefoot touching the sand when you felt a strong arm wrapped around your midsection and before you knew it, Ari was lifting you effortlessly to the chaise lounge. He set you down gently, sitting you in front of him as he grabbed the sunblock. He could feel your dissent before you even voiced it.

“Don’t fight me on this, darling. I don’t want you getting sunburnt.”

But what should be an innocent act turned out to be a sensuous one. He made sure that you were covered, even under your bathing suit. His hand gently spreading the lotion on your back, and even dipping mischievously near your heaving chests.

You grabbed his thick wrist, your fingers couldn’t even touch due to his width.

“I know what you’re doing, Ari,” you tutted at him, fixing him with your glare. “You’re seducing me.”

He smirked at you as he tilted his head, “That depends, darling. Are you seduced?”

Extremely.

Yet, what you did was push him away before walking to the water. You needed to cool yourself off. The water was to your chest when you turned around to further glare at Ari when you couldn’t see any trace of him. You roamed your eyes to the shore, looking for him. You would admit you were somehow displaced when you couldn’t see him. Your thoughts were running a mile a second because you weren’t a very good swimmer! What if he drowned? What if you could find him but couldn’t pull him up because of how heavy he was? You would forced him to lose his muscles once you saved him you swore to God. What if he-

You shrieked when you felt a hand gripped your ankle and before you knew it, Ari resurfaced with his laughters.

The two of you spent the afternoon like the old times, full of happiness and childlike teasings. You laughed more than you did for the past month. And he in turn looked like the Ari you knew, one that was full of good things in him.

It was hours later when you watched Ari humming as he set the table. You were almost certain that his love language was acts of service seeing as he always made sure you were taken care of by him. He smiled at you as your neared the table he set outside the house, one that was overlooking the ocean. The table was filled with candles, illuminating the delicious dishes he prepared for the dinner. You could hear the peaceful sounds of the ocean kissing the shore.

Ari was now wearing an unbuttoned white shirt, the hair on his chest peeking. He pulled the chair for you before telling you that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. You felt your cheeks heating up. In return, you shrugged and told him that he was second to Glen Powell and Jungkook of BTS.

You hummed in appreciation once you took a bite of his food. He beamed in pride before digging on his own food. “You know, you could really open up your own restaurant.”

He chuckled, “I could, but it’s not my dream.”

“What, is your dream to wear suits all day and talk about portfolios and mergers and strategic alliances?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, his eyes content as he looked at you. “This may seem like a cliche…but my dream is to be happy.”

“And are you?”

“I am now.”

|Last Chapter

[preciousbarnes]

You Were My Versailles At Night (Peter Parker/Reader)

Pairing: MCU!Peter Parker/Reader

Prompt: After a rough evening, feelings are discussed. Inspired by lyrics in the song Fourth of July by Fall Out Boy.

warnings: depictions of assault (its a mugging), then fluffy fluff fluff, hurt/comfort.

word count: 1.08k

Your best friend and part-time neighborhood vigilante had been out on patrol as you were walking back to your shared apartment from the night class you were enrolled in. Walking back home, you had your headphones in listening to your favorite podcast. It was about ten p.m. at this point, but you didn’t mind. You had always been more of an evening and night person, hence why you elected to take evening courses. You also found them less crowded than other classes, which was a bonus. Walking down the street, you were pulled out of your thoughts by a strong arm grabbing your waist and pulling you down a dark alley, before being thrown to the ground.

Across town, Peter was dressed in his Spiderman suit, lowering a sewer grate back into place after saving a mother cat and her two babies who had been washed down by a recent storm. Suddenly, Karen speaks.

“Sir, I have eyes on a mugging taking place in an alley off of 7th street,” the AI informs Peter as she shows him the grainy and dark video showing two shadowy figures in the alley. All Peter could make out was someone lying on the ground, as a much taller and sturdier person beating them.

Peter quickly made his way to the alley, swinging and jumping from building to building before creeping to the alley and taking stance behind the attacker. He deployed his webbing, wrapping the attacker from head-to-toe in the strong substance, subduing and eliminating the threat quickly, and then turning to the victim. Who he saw made his heart stop.

“No, no, no, no, no,” He muttered to himself in quick succession as he kneeled next to the victim. It was you, laying there unconscious in a pool of blood, a bruise already forming under your left eye.

“K-Karen, run a diagnostic scan on them, please, and tell me how to get to the nearest hospital” He asks, this voice full of emotion, scooping you up gently, ready to get you to the nearest hospital. A map with a route to the fastest trauma center appeared in his mask, giving him an optimum way to get you there within just a few minutes.

“It appears that they have multiple contusions and cuts, two cracked ribs, and a concussion, sir” Karen informs Peter, as she continually updates him on the route to the hospital.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now past midnight, and Peter found himself sitting in a small hospital chair next to your bed where your unconscious form laid. Luckily, he had been able to call Ned to bring him some normal clothes to him to he could come in to see you. Listed as your emergency contact, which surprised him, the doctors had been able to tell him your condition, which was exactly what Karen had reported to him. Peter looked over to you, taking in your appearance. He hated himself for not getting there sooner.

“You are my favorite ‘what if’, and my best ‘I’ll never know’” He whispers to himself as he holds one of your hands in both of his, bringing it to his lips to kiss gently.

At the noise you stirred, turning your head to face him and squinting at the stale white light in the hospital room.

“Wha?” you ask softly.

“Honey, are you up? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? I’m so sorry,” Peter quickly rambles, his hold on your hand tightening.

“What did you say?” you ask again.

Peter swallows. He had come close to losing you tonight, and he refused to go another day without you knowing how he felt, even though he was sure you wouldn’t feel the same.

“I said, ‘you are my favorite what if, and my best I’ll never know’, I love you. I know you don’t feel the same, but I need you to know that,” He says, tears in his eyes.

You smile softly and remove your hand from his hold, resulting in a hurt expression on his face briefly before your hand reaches up to caress his cheek and wiping a tear away that falls.

“I love you too, so I’m not a something you’ll ‘never know’” you tell him softly, smiling as he moves his head to kiss your palm before leaning his face back into your hand.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner, sweetheart,” He tells you, sounding absolutely heartbroken as more tears fall.

“No, Peter, please. Don’t you dare be sorry. You most likely saved my life. I remember that guy had a knife, he could have killed me. You got there, you got me here, and I’m going to survive. I don’t think I’ll be taking night classes again for a while, but I’ll be alright.” You tell him sternly. You don’t want this precious human and your personal hero now ever doubting himself. While it is true you feel anxious even imagining being out at night now, you know that’s the new trauma talking, which you will work to address with your therapist to continue to heal emotionally and mentally as well as physically from the attack.

“I’m making you something, a ring,” He tells you with conviction.

“Well, I know we proclaimed our love for one another just now, but it might be a little soon for a ring, honeybun,” you joke, making him smile and shake his head as he laughs with you.

“Then a bracelet or something. I’m making you a personal panic button. I never want this to happen again. I’m going to make it so it looks completely normal but if you press it I’ll know where you are immediately and that you need me,” He tells you, softly brushing a hair out of your face.

Normally you’d object to gifts, but this one sounded perfect. You would know he’s always going to be there for you if you’d need him. You nod in agreement.

“Okay, sounds good to me, I’d like that a lot actually,” you tell him before yawning, the pain medication starting to kick in more, making you feel drowsy again.

Peter leans in and kissed you on the cheek before caressing your face with the hand not holding yours at the moment.

“Go to sleep, sweetheart; I’ll be here,” He whispers to you. His soft smiling face is the last thing you see as you slowly drift into a peaceful sleep, knowing your hero was there to keep you safe.

[forensicated]

Small updates for Dan's boxing and Smiffina episodes 434-439

Episode 434 - Dan Boxing

Dan and Will's garage 'friend' who got his uncle to treat Dan's shoulder is not as nice as he first seems as he is a member of a racist 'political' group, the RDA, that are known London wide for their violent protests.

Will and Dan are involved in a set up by Special Branch to infiltrate Will into the RDA via Ewan. It works and he becomes involved, but one member of the gang is still highly suspicious of Will.

Dan has reached the semi finals of the boxing championships but in order to continue he must submit a urine sample. One slight problem... it'd disqualify him because he's taking steroids. He tells Ewan what has happened after they bump into him whilst having a few beers and Ewan tells him to simply submit someone elses urine as his. Dan ends up ringing round his exes to get one of them to agree (!) (even asking one if her mum would do it for him!) until he finds one that does agree - as long as he goes round to see her that night.

Dan being away for the night leaves the space clear for Emma to come round after a fight with Matt after he proposed and she freaked out. They end up sleeping together and are about to fall asleep as they are rudely interrupted by knocking at the door. Will answers it, only to find the suspicious RDA member who assaults him to get his phone and he finds out that Will is undercover after ringing 'Emma' and getting Mickey's answerphone. Emma is shocked to find Will pinning down an unconscious man in the middle of Dan's living room! (also weirdly, Dan's alcohol cabinet contains a lot of wine glasses and then actual ornaments! Given the face he pulled at Champagne when they first met Matt he doesn't strike me as a wine man!)

Episode 435 - Dan Boxing

The man who assaulted Will the night before has been arrested and taken into Sun Hill and Special Branch have okayed not letting him have access with the outside world whilst Will's cover is still in tact.

Cleared after submitting an ex's urine in place of his, Dan is through to the semi finals of the Inter Station Boxing Championship. His grasp on his temper isn't so great though as the steroids are starting the mood swings.

It's not helped by Will disappearing instead of sticking around to be his wingman as promised. Dan catches up with him the next day to tell him that he knocked out his opponent in round two and was in the pub by 9.

The RDA are stepping up attempts to cause a 'big scene' to blame on a radical muslim group and they send out bomb threats. Will's cover is blown and he's taken hostage after an assault but manages to get rescued in time and runs round the back of the building where the bomb is suspected of being planted only to find Ewan the one who's been tasked with planting it. He tries to reason with him but there's nothing either can do to defuse it as it's already counting down. As the timer ticks down to 5 seconds, Ewan shouts at Will to just run - which he does - though he's still caught up in the blast, he will be OK.

Episode 436 Smiffina and Dan's Boxing

Dan updates Lewis that Will is going to be fine, though he was very lucky given he was just meters from the bomb when it went off. He tries to tell Gina that his shoulder is still hurting him when they catch up but she's not really realising how serious it is and tells him his trainer will sort it and to take a longer refs break to go train at the gym.

Episode 439 - Smiffina

Smithy checks in with Kezia to see how she's getting on with working with Zain - given Zain has left her behind again she's apparently getting on fine with him! Smithy tells her to speak to him if she needs any help.

Smithy is in the middle of June and her boyfriend Rod's hospital plans, trying to work out how best to tell the other that each has booked a non-refundable holiday package as a surprise given both have confided in him. In the end Rod enters the pub as Smithy's buying drinks and they both start to tell each other at same time so Smithy legs it quickly with the drinks!

Gina is worried that Roger isn't coping given his short and snappy mood. He's supposed to be on light duties but he takes himself up onto the roof of a carpark and talks down a suicidal woman that he upset earlier with his snapping. So much for light duties!

Smithy and Kezia continue to flirt and bond in the pub and he invites her over to sit with him and the uniformed officers that he entered with.

[arkadavinia]

hi, you probably aren't even showing up here anymore but just wanted to say that I hope you don't give up on your fic We grow up apart, together and again! because I recently discovered it and it broke my heart to know that you haven't updated it in over 3 years. hope you come over there soon 😢❤

Oh anon, im always here, creepin'. Never fear. And 'given up' is a strong phrase for it, but whenever i sit down, reread or think about 'We grow-' i got 3/4ths of the way through the story, and then, as it does, life happened. Whenever i try to find that muse these days, its really faint, and i worry about writing more, and how much the voice will have changed.

But if you want, I can tell you more.

Cause, when they go to Ohio, Kevin was supposed to bring up telling their friends, like a doof, and Aaron was all like, "we haven't told anyone so far and basically everyone knows." Which may also just be because he did already tell Dan, and theres no knowing how many of their friends she told.

Ohio was to be a meeting and remembering and then an accepting of how being friends, who have become together, doesn't always change how you interact with others. (We Grow with Friendship) Its not a brand or a sign you have to display constantly, large and loud. Its a casual reworking of how a group of people sit in an area, where just because your a couple doesn't mean you have to be attached at the hip. Even if Nicky follows them around all week cooing when they even so much as pass a snack bowl.

After Ohio I was planning a bit of a time skip. (We Grow into New Shapes) Into Aaron's residency, because honestly, the with how busy Kevin is always, and how much busier Aaron would be while doing class and residency, I knew it was a place where I could see them doubting their relationship. And Kevin being Kevin I can imagine he would stew in it. He would want to talk about all the horrible things Aaron may see, and the hardest part of being a healthcare worker in any capacity would be losing a patient, but legally, you really can't talk about those moments. Which is hard, to comfort someone without really understanding why they need comfort.

The last chapter tho, was supposed to be for Kevin. Cause a large part of how or why they got together was around Thea. (We Grow Again) The plan was that Thea would finally hear that Kevin was with Aaron, cause her head was so far up her butt, she assumed he would just come back- which is mean, but the way i built her up in this story was also mean. So when she finds out he's actually moved on, is living with someone, and in a relationship with them and still seemingly thriving in his professional career, would probably make her want a confrontation.

(That was the other thing about this voice- muse- story, i am not a confrontational person and writing confrontational people like this, was hard for me. Finding this voice is hard, and now being so removed from it, i feel it would only let people down to continue it.)

But chapter 12 was to show Kevin standing up for himself, his relationship and trying to make someone he used to care about, a lot, understand that he's happy now. He's okay. They're okay. And that's okay. It doesn't have to be great- probably would never be great, but it was okay.

I started this story at a point when my life was going in a direction that I hadn't predicted, and i felt very powerless to control it, but i was able to find a way to make it okay- again, not great, barely even good, but okay.

A lot of it had to do with COVID, and being in college where things were turned up on their heads. I live in a state that was one of the first to shut down, and we got a lot of flack for it. I think it was the right call, but i was also in hospitals doing clinical work and seeing this new illness tear through the facility was scary. I had those moments later, after the bans and shelter orders were over though, where i stood outside hospital rooms and watches people die from an illness they didn't believe could affect them. I had to sit with my husband while he cried because his parents refused to listen to anything scientific, did not take precautions and ended up in very sever situations because of it. (his mother is an RN, i was livid, still am) (they are okay now, for the most part, three weeks in the hospital changed their tunes a bit tho) But my voice is better now, generally. i graduated from college, passed my registry exam, worked in that same facility for 4 month and then found a better position for me. My relationship is much better and while there have been other twists, I am a better me than i was.... in January of 2020. Man, that was three years ago, whhhhaaaat.

Sorry for the long post, but Ive been meaning to post something about this for a while. So thanks, Anon. But also sorry, if this isn't all you wanted, literally. But i don't think I have these voices in my any longer.

[mercifulbutbroken]

The remaining story of Feather Falling

If you've read the most recent update on my AO3, you would know my writers block has gotten the best of me, along with my mental health. I don't want you guys to go without an ending though, since I know how frustrating it is to have a fic you like (or just read out of boredom) suddenly have no updates for the longest time.

So, only if you wish, under the cut, will be the remaining plan I had for Feather Falling. Be warned, it's a wall of text. The askblog will still be up, if anyone wishes to send an ask and let me revive that little side project. But, I hope you enjoy

claps hands oKAY so Nav After chapter 14, returning from the wall with Ellie, would go to Gale to explain things Charles feels something new, a tad of what was in the diner before Nav was snatched he shrugs it off and goes to Dave and Rupert to pass time a few more clues leading to the toppats would be sprinkled through a few more months later, Ellie gets her own place and all three usually hang out

by now they are all close and then they get a call about the toppats, and their space shuttle Nav is terrified, because, well gestures to past trauma of being a toppat but Ellie is more okay with it Charles also is tagged along. its a big mission whole fight happens and such, but near the end, they couldn't stop the shuttle taking off. Ellie has to rescue Charles. that gains his trust and a bit of admiration they fail this mission and later on, after the station would have been more established, rumors of past toppats disappearing within military records and sooner or later? they're targeted Charles dives in to try and get them out of some teleporter laser thing (i didn't get this all planned out, same thing used in VH) but he and Nav get beamed up everyone on the ground start freaking out, two people got snatched gale is VERY protective over his crew, so he starts planning to get them back asap

back up on the station, both are grilled about toppat things, and when Nav finally grows a backbone, they bring both Nav and Charles into a room they think if they threaten Charles, Nav will finally talk because he was the same one who rescued him so? they break one of his wings Nav goes bezerk, yells something out to let them go. Reg comments "once a traitor, always a traitor" and leave the two in the locked room Nav tries to stabilize the wing, which he does, and Charles is a bit dazed. Nav tries to explain he would do anything for the one who saved him from the toppats Charles is confused, because he is trapped again Nav yells that the few months of freedom he had were the best months of his life. best months of his life with him queue the big hug (no kiss quite yet) toppats try to go to the info Nav gave but Gale planned this, letting Nav know of a place where they DID have info, but also can get to fast to defend entire escape i didn't plan yet, but when they escape, both are taken to the hospital Charles wakes up first, and heads around to find Nav they find each other, and go to a vending machine for a drink they have a slow talk back and forth about what they said back on the toppat station when Nav turns to look at Charles, he find him already leaned in to kiss him. A small pause, then accepts the kiss, hand on his cheek Feather Falling end roll credits

There would be an epilogue, Nav and Charles would have a small wedding, after Charles proposes with his trio of feathers. maybe just papers signed and go to his favorite diner with all his friends after

[ginnsbaker]

This chapter was so juicy omg lets get straight into it

Agatha literally embodies me 😂 everything shes said i’ve either said or thought. From her saying she never had faith in reader’s relationship with yelena to calling it a rebound. She’s exactly right and i’ll come back to those two quotes a little later. The other thing about sparky being a mastermind is something I genuinely thought earlier on i was like aw damn the dogs bringing them back together but I didn’t say anything and now i really wish i did cos same agatha same 😂

Im gonna speak about wanda briefly here and then I’ll come back to her affer. But in that whole conversation with agatha she’s very mature about the whole thing considering reader kissed her. She’s not getting excited about it out of respect for readers relationship(that’s already over but she doesn’t know that yet) shes also being cautious because of what happened last time with reader.

Im glad Valkyrie apologised and that wanda didn’t string her along honestly did not want another reader yelena relationship for lack of better words.

Vision is gone thank fuck for that he will not be missed.

Natasha. Quite possibly one of the saddest parts of the series. Nothing hurts quite like a friendship breakup between best friends. I said it last time and my views haven’t changed. Nat is supposed to be readers friend, while I completely understand why shes angry it makes sense yelenas her little sister and i get it but reader is also her friend. It a complicated situation because its very difficult to be neutral. Reader shouldn’t have cheated full stop. However, if we’re being realistic some could argue reader has been emotionally cheating since the start considering the love for wanda was always there. But back to my point this relationship should never have happened to begin with or at least not when it did. Yelena shouldn’t have pursued reader and reader shouldn’t have dated her either especially not without having the therapy that is so desperately needed. Im not blaming yelena or saying nat’s reaction is wrong because i truly understand both sides its just really sad that this is how its ended. Im not sure what your plans for nat are for once i genuinely dont have a clue.

I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

Back to wanda. Idk how to feel because we know what happened to wanda last time they entered this sort of arrangement and i really don’t want it to again because she has made so much progress. On one hand i feel like she won’t let herself go back that far but the ones we love can be our weakness sometimes. And on the other hand it seemed different this time less aggressive like the way reader cushioned wandas head. But one thing I didn’t like was reader leaving with no aftercare i saw someone else say it and I definitely agree. PSA to everyone aftercare is so so so important okay? Good. And i also don’t like Wanda missing therapy because of this arrangement it feels like a step backwards (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in terms of story writing cos like i said last time recovery is not a linear path and its really validating that you’ve included that)

And finally pietro. Oh dear god the anticipation is killing me. Ive been dying for chapter 17 and its almost here. He knows why wanda missed the sessions (or at least suspects) and i think hes got a picture of wanda in the hospital or maybe after he found her (im not quite sure who found wanda after she overdosed I don’t remember but uno what i mean💀) and hes gonna send it to reader maybe saying back off

I swear im in love with your brain youre incredible I can’t wait for chapter 17

-🧃

Reading your comments/thoughts is always a favorite habit of mine whenever I post an update. Like, srsly dude, I look forward to it.

There's something you highlighted that I did not even intended in the story: I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

I guess that happened naturally. I mean, when you're maintaining a positive vibe in life and taking care of yourself in general, suddenly there's room for people in you life who also want to share the same outlook in life. You attract good energy. You're able to take care of relationships around you because you're in a good place. I guess that's what happened :)

Yes, aftercare is really important. R is neglecting herself, wasting away, so she really is incapable of thinking about another person's needs at this point.

My mind?? Look at your mind! Look at what you'll think Piet would do O_O

Once again, thank you! I super enjoy reading your points!

[nalanzu]

Weiss Kreuz Episode 16: Schatten

We are REALLY due for a breather after the nonstop frenetic pace of high drama in the last several episodes. What we get is goats in the Swiss (?) mountains and three old people in a castle discussing, in Japanese, how Takatori of the Japanese Division fucked shit up but good as he was unreasonably ambitious. The Japanese Division needs reinforcements and it shall have them.

This show does not know the meaning of the word "pace."

We get Yohji walking arm-in-arm with a pretty woman, with Omi giving us a voiceover asking how he's been doing since Weiss dissolved.There is definitely the sense that some times has passed, although it could be days, weeks or months. It's hard to say with this show and how it treats time. Yohji immediately abandons his date upon seeing a woman with Asuka's face (as you will recall, his dead partner's name was Asuka). After he catches up to her, she takes off her sunglasses and he realizes it's not the same face after all. Despite initial accusations of the new lady - Kyoko - resembling an old friend, Yohji and Kyoko end up on a date. She wants to take him somewhere quiet.

Aya is the next one to get a check-in, as Omi wonders how the beach is treating him. I'm sorry, the words Aya and beach do not belong in the same sentence. I think my brain just glitched.

Omi is distracted from his letter-writing by his classmates discussing a serial kidnapper/murderer who tortures all his pretty young victims and has been stepping up the pace of his crimes. The girls in his class feel unsafe going out alone, which demonstrates once again that the writers are men. Women always feel like this, regardless of stories of serial kidnappers.

In any case, Omi feels the need to point out to Aya that bad shit still happens but since there is no Weiss any more, it's not his job to worry about it. Omi also asks about his sister, who has been transferred to another hospital, and gives him an update on how much Sakura misses him. Which is a lot. Stop trying to write this into a romance, ok, it is creepy AF.

The next morning, a classmate runs into shout that one of the girls in their class was kidnapped. The class dissolves into chaos, as they determine that they can't do anything to help. Omi doesn't like this. He asks for Ken's advice. Ken, who is coaching seven year olds to play soccer, says they're not Weiss and it's not their job, but he does notice someone spying on him from the trees.

Back to Yohji and his date, he can't help but marvel how much Kyoko resembles Asuka. She has vague memories of something like being close to a man like Yohji while Yohji notices there's a car following them to an abandoned cabin in the mountains. What woman goes to an abandoned cabin in the mountains on a first date so help me. Fucking male writers istg. The car has followed them all the way up, by the way, and the male driver stares at them.

After dinner and (presumably) sex, Yohji hangs out on the balcony and is nearly strangled with his own wire by a surviving member of Schreient. They only reason he survives is the stalker flinging a paper airplane at them. Kyoko aka Neu flees and he chases her.

Aya's turn to check in, and we see that his sister has been kidnapped. Her bed has been slashed in the shape of a cross. No blood, though, so presumably she wasn't in it while it was disfigured.

The cycle moves on to Ken, telling his rugrats that yes, they do in fact need to keep practicing. The basics are important, he tells them, and then they nearly get run over by a mack truck crashing past the guard rail. The driver is dead, strangled, and Ken remembers Schoen's whip. He immediately assumes he is the target as the rain begins to fall over his crushed soccer ball. Aw, Ken.

Omi walks through the rain wearing a truly awful brown sleeveless shirt and puffy green shorts while mentally picturing the kidnap victims. He arrives in the flowershop basement only to find everyone else already there in a stunning coincidence. Ken points out that he and Yohji were both attacked, and Yohji came back to pick up his weapon.

Aya refuses to tell anyone else why he's there, and Omi immediately assumes something has happened to his sister or he wouldn't be. Yohji blames Schreient. There is a bit of bickering, interrupted by the stalker from earlier dramatically walking down the stairs and announcing that the dark beasts have taken up a vendetta against Weiss again. Following him is a woman, not Manx, but with the same sense of dramatic business wear.

The Possibly Not A Stalker tells them that a huge worldwide organization is starting to cause problems in Japan. Weiss, perfectly reasonably, wants to know who the fuck he is; his codename is Botan. (The only non-cat codename so far. I feel like I remember him ending up dead.) The lady is Birman.

Apparently Kritiker has been searching for Weiss since Persia's death, because they want to reinstate the group. The kidnappings, Botan and Birman say, are only the start. I say that if Kritiker couldn't find their own damn operatives, I have a number of misgivings regarding their competency as an organization overall. In addition, I have Questions about the timing of all of them appearing in the basement simultaneously. I can buy Botan and Birman having followed Yohji and maybe noticing someone else wander in and maybe waiting to see if the rest of them showed up, but like, all four of them deciding within the same hour to go back to the flowershop? Really? REALLY?

I wish this show would hang a lantern on some of the harder to swallow point points, but it just skates right over them as if the viewer isn't going to notice. To be entirely fair, I may not have noticed many things that are currently bothering me when I watched it the first time. But seriously, Kritiker really couldn't find them? At all? Except Yohji? And now here they all are???

Weiss protests that they're not Weiss any more and this is therefore not their circus and also not their monkeys. Manx appears to tell Weiss that it is in fact their circus and the name of the circus is Estset. She has, by the way, switched out her red suit for a purple one and her ankle socks for thigh-high stockings, but she is STILL WEARING SOCKS WITH SANDALS.

Brief aside, by the way, all of Weiss has switched up their outfits. Omi's crop-top floofy vest and cargo shorts are absolutely awful, as is Ken's forest green bowling shirt with white sleeves and a white collar. Yohji has a perfectly decent tan jacket that I don't think I remember him keeping, while Aya is now in black head to toe. Aya and his sexy v-neck shirt comprise literally the only upgraded look in the room, who approved the rest of these designs.

Manx tells them that Kritiker is trying to figure out WTF is going on with Estset and that they are involved with the kidnappings, with Schreient, and probably also with kidnapping Aya's sister. As he will absolutely do anything that involves his sister, Aya is 100% on board with the idea of a new mission. The rest of them are pretty twitchy about it. It only takes a few seconds for all of them to go for a walk in their assassin outfits (which they were stashing where, exactly?), the other three catching up with Aya.

We've been getting brief flashes of the sort-of-crucified kidnap victims on a stage in what looks like a ritual sacrifice, by the way, and now they are surrounded by masked people in robes with candles talking about the return or summoning of something or other in order to make the pitiful humans pay. Weiss interrupts this sacred ceremony just before the kidnap victims can be set on fire, but the kidnappers have lighters as well as candles and nearly manage to burn their victims to death anyway.

None of those victims are Aya's sister. He does check. Weiss assassinates their targets in true dramatic fashion, still in the rain. Ken desperately wanted to disappear, to leave Weiss behind, by the way, while Yohji is more or less resigned and Omi is almost fervent in his desire to punish the wicked. Aya, as we all know, is composed almost entirely of a ball of obsession and whether or not he's part of a team of assassins is entirely dependent on his sister.

I have some concerns about Omi's mental state, honestly. He is VERY enthusiastic in what the show would like us to think is a frenzy of righteous passion and the pursuit of justice, but I also think that the snap decisions Weiss is used to making have the potential to not be the right decisions. The constant exposure to the apparent failing of the criminal justice system and acting as a tool to rectify that situation also seems emotionally distressing and draining, but Omi is almost happy. Definite cause for concern.

The Get The Band Back Together episode is, honestly, not particularly compelling for me. I felt that it relied heavily on circumstance and coincidence in order to achieve its goals, and neither the episode nor the characters did much work in returning to something resembling the status quo. I didn't hate seeing what the Weiss members were up to when they went back to being their own people, but I also don't think we learned anything about any of the characters.

The most surprising part of that particular interlude was Aya working construction; given that all he knows how to make is flower arrangements and corpses, it's not entirely shocking that he would end up doing what's generally regarded as low-skill manual labor, but I really would have guessed he'd go for something a little more outwardly romantic or dramatic. He's a very melodramatic kind of person. But, of course, he lives purely for his sister, so it tracks that he would do the absolute first thing that would net him income in the general vicinity of the hospital in which she's being treated.

Yohji's dates, Ken's soccer coaching, and Omi's classes don't really tell us anything new about the characters. We're checking in with them to see that they are exactly where we left them, with no growth or development. These segments don't get much room to breathe, either, with the frenetic pace established over the last several episodes not letting up in the slightest as it pushes our protagonists back together.

It occurs to me to wonder, incidentally, what the purpose of having Schreient go after Yohji and Ken was; in the Doylist sense, both men needed an external motivation to return to the flowershop or we don't really have a show (kidnapping Aya's sister did have an actual purpose, as I recall, but that's a plot point for later). In the Watsonian sense, why give these allegedly dangerous men a reason to get the gang back together? Why cause trouble for them when all it's going to do is put them exactly where they're not wanted, namely under Kritiker's control again? Takatori was fucked by his ambition, yes, but also because he pushed Weiss into a corner and they killed him for it. The fuck are you doing, poking the bear?

I also want to know how the hell they got out of the burning building. And then apparently fucked off into the night leaving no trace of themselves behind and no way to be found despite all staying in the general vicinity of where they were to begin with. But mostly, honestly, how they got out of the burning building this time. And last time.