#also if you find this random it’s just bc I’ve been thinking deeply about a post I saw and yeah I agree

[what-thisiscrazzzy]

Its only episode 4 and Merlin has drank a poison to Dave Arthur which then makes Arthur put his life at risk to save him. People still believe they aren’t insane for each other?

[mytimeinthesun]

So this is random, but I picked up Stardew Valley for the first time this summer and have been playing almost nonstop since.

I’ve also been watching a lot of SDV YouTube content and noticed that the general consensus there seems to be that Clint is a creepy incel who needs to keep his creep hands off Emily, which surprised me because that’s not really how I read him.

Idk what the consensus is on him here on tumblr but I’m assuming it’s similar? I tend not to dive deep into fandom spaces and just do my own thing so I genuinely have no idea, BUT I was kept awake by my brain going on a wild tangent about Clint with an entirely alternate take SO here it is:

[under the cut bc slightly long][also this is just for fun if you disagree that's totally fine]

Ok so first off I should say that I don’t LIKE Clint necessarily, but I also don’t think he’s as bad as people say. I’ve seen his heart events, although I haven't gone to look at what all the options are, I only know what happens with the option I picked (which was the "treat men and women the same" or whatever one).

But basically, when I look at Clint, I mostly see a guy who feels trapped in his profession/family tradition, is deeply bored and depressed, but doesn't really realize how much of a problem that is because he's 100% resigned to his fate. He's tired and doesn't have the emotional self-awareness to realize that he can do anything different or that he even should.

Which leads me to his feelings for Emily. YES he's obsessed with her and it's a bit weird, but also, it's never read as sexual or even that romantic to me.

I think it's more idealization--she's the opposite of him, vibrant and fun and seemingly in total control of her life, doing what SHE wants to do because she can and she enjoys it.

SO HERE'S MY HOT TAKE: Clint is closet trans and mistaking his gender envy of Emily for romantic attraction.

He feels trapped in his job which he clearly hates but feels resigned to because the town needs a blacksmith, what if he also feels trapped in his gender? What if trans as an option has simply never occurred to him or he thinks it's "for other people" or something like that??

I feel like if Emily ever did agree to date him I think he'd quickly find out it's not actually what he wanted from her. I think he really just wants the freedom that she has and also maybe the gender that she has idk is that really so unreasonable a take???

Maybe it is it was really late at night when I was thinking about this but I had to get it out lol

tl;dr: I don't think Clint wants Emily. I think Clint wants to be Emily, in a trans way.

[literaphobe]

hello!! i remember you said a while back that you liked rick and morty! just wanted to know what you thought of this last season because im a fan of the show too :]

oh thank god and also jesus HI ANONNN I’ve been dying to talk about rick and morty. I’m so so SO obsessed w the finale like I’m still thinking about it and can’t wait to rewatch. did u know I’ve been watching this stupid show since 2014? I’m a NINE YEAR LONG Rick and morty fan. I can’t believe one of the only shows I’ve been EARLY to watching is goddamn Rick and morty. ok back to the finale

i have been FROTHING at the mouth RABID and WAITING for diane content. it’s crazy to me that diane was like. a part of rick’s backstory that they didn’t have from the start but the fact that she existed and the place she had in his life made him go from random asshole grandpa who’s a megagenius dickhead that cares more than he’ll admit to All Those Things BUT a man who’s madly in love with his wife…

i think about the tragedy of it all sometimes and how it could have easily been this super generic Yeah Yeah Guy Has A Dead Wife Thing whatever BUT the way we found out she was ERASED FROM EVERY UNIVERSE? he was the ORIGINAL Rick who had his wife killed. The other dudes just like. Idk. i guess she just vanished for them. and because of his grief he invented the very item he rejected -> inter dimensional portal gun. only to be unable to find even a VERSION of her that exists

and he’s like. despite his flings and exes and people he fell in love with (birdperson and unity) it’s become so much more evident especially in recent seasons that diane is his whole sky and stars and he’s so madly in love with her that. Rick prime calls him the WIFE GUY. and when we found out the AI running his garage and car is modeled after Diane’s voice… HE CANNOT LET GO -> she haunts the narrative

and then when we saw diane in Morty’s version of the hole? it was so fascinating bc her portrayal is like something that u can hate or love all u want! u can choose to believe that diane was similar to/exactly like how morty envisioned her to be, or u could think she was entirely different, and you’d have basis for it. she’s shrouded in mystery still but at the same time we’re learning more of a version of her. and because morty knows Rick so well you just KNOW that how hole!rick behaved around hole!diane WOULD be how actual Rick would be like. because that was him!! a guy so deeply in love with his wife and family that he didn’t care about traveling the multiverse. he just wanted to spend time with her :(

this show that started from a place of random cynicism became this like. found family of family members who aren’t exactly from the same universe but are the family u choose and love and all that? yeah anyway i really really hope we get more diane content ALSO um summer content ❤️ i want more summer development

Idk if i want real diane to be brought back or the omega device to unerase her bc the whole point of Rick’s arc is that he has to deal with losing diane and become a better person and get healthier etc etc but… i am interested to see what else we get. NEXT SEASON I GUESS. cries forever

oh also when he ran back to the hole after hearing morty saw diane in there? and his face dropping when he internally reminds himself she still wouldn’t be REAL and it’s just not something he would survive probably. and he takes a picture of MORTY OUT OF HIS WALLET and pins it to the board of people who survived the hole :((((((( HE HAS A PICTURE OF HIS GRANDSON IN HIS WALLET BC HES THE MOST SENTIMENTAL RICK EVER .

[celestie0]

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS2RSBkv1/

Ellie I’m gonna cry I was never into any of this stuff until kickoff like the trajectory of my brain chemicals has just been manipulated by ur writing I’m so hyper fixated and ofc the reason I was reading fanfictions in the first place was bc I was victim to the gojo girl labotomising pandemic that came with jjk season 2 like after growing up and being out of anime and all for a good year and a half and then that happened so suddenly when I was literally reluctant and cynical in watching the season on a whim and next thing I knew I was deranged in my gojo/geto/satosugu obsession but girl if I had one wish and I’m being so fr rn like if it had a time limit and I couldn’t have a family discussion to deeply contemplate what would be the most worthwhile wish that they dictate to me, if an angel came down to me and I had like 10 minutes and I had something in my system so I don’t freak tf out and I’m feeling chill and don’t think about being selfish then you’d think I’d wish for gojo to come to life and fuck me into the earth but the logistics of that are fucked so I’m pretty decided that I’d either wish for kickoff gojo to be my bf irl or to be y/n in kickoff and be written by you <3

moral of the story now I love ur fic and version of the characters more than the actual series

I’ve used my sign off too often I hope this isn’t annoying or creepy im just going into college/uni next year and I have a lot of dreams and aspirations so ig kickoff rlly resonated with me in that way

this isn’t the fat ask that’s pending hehe I just wrote this sitting on the doorstep of my house with my shoes still on cause I just got home

imma need a good relaxed night to get that down but I’m sorry I didn’t offer my support earlier I’m glad sm people did bc even though my possessive nature makes me think I’m ur biggest fan the truth is a lot of people are as taken by you and ur work as I am, I just should of typed up something on the matter as soon as I saw ur post but I rlly wanted to put thought into it and any kind of writing is a real chore for me so I’m waiting until I have that down time

ik it’s not much to anticipate but it’s important to me lol I wanna be here for u along with the many other anons

also that TikTok was random but this Olympic lovey doveyness is making me sick while im in such a state

this was never suppose to be this long I belong in yap jail

-spinster anon or wtv

AW SPINSTER ANON!! THAT'S SO SWEET PLEASE!! OF ALL THE WISHES YOU COULD HAVE!!! (yes def look out for your family first though xd...although i can't lie and say i wouldn't at least THINK about wishing for gojo to come to life and put me in a mating press)

TO SAY YOU LOVE THEM MORE THAN THE ACTUAL SERIES CHARACTERS i'll sob stop. and aww i'm so glad kickoff is resonating w you as you start your journey to college!! that's really why i started writing it. there was so many things i wish i had done differently and also so many things i think i took for granted in college, but also so much to celebrate and find joy in! it's hard especially when you don't quite know who you are or what you want and yea i think that's kind of a theme in kickoff, and will be through to the end, but anywho i'm like being very preachy rn haha i wish you best of luck in starting college <3

and aw that's sweet bb thank you, i appreciate you. honeslty the thought enough and to know you love my works is so much support enough!! :'') i appreciate you. and yes that olympic couple was sooo cute i love the way he just picked her up how cute.

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

day 3

chap’s 6,7,8

are we ready?

i’m sat drinking literally the best hot chocolate i’ve ever had while reading today so i’ll probably be in a particularly good mood

i need someone who will hug me as enthusiastically as lola

i love lola, she’s so underrated

i kinda want a version of up from anis perspective like that new twilight book. i feel like it would be so interesting to dig into her psyche and what’s going on in her brain, bc we can assume some things once we find out about saskia, but there’s so many little details and things we never fully get to see

this is so random and i’m probably the only person who’d think of this but micky offers lottie a lollipop- presumably a stripy one- and lottie takes it. often lollipop colouring has carmine (bugs) in it, but lottie doesn’t seem fussed so do you think tompkins is entirely vegetarian?

“childhood friends” mmm sure

okay i know lottie not knowing what partizans are is meant to show how out of place she feels, but it kinda also shows that these kids are a little bit out of touch for assuming everyone knows what they are- i mean they’re specifically relevant to rich and important people, and i know at this point they’re all kids but dude it’s lottie’s first day and they’re assuming either everyone knows what they do or that lottie is also rich. maybe im overthinking this

if i could draw i would draw the three house mothers looking like goddesses (like the princesses in she ra style) next to professor croak as a baked bean

also i regularly forget his name because in my head he is straight up just called baked bean man

honestly baked bean man is such a vibe- stands there letting incredible women be incredible and then just smiles and leaves

once again binah is making sure lottie is up to date with info and doesn’t make her feel bad about it. i love all the binahs in the world

“i wonder if i’ll ever meet one” you already have dear lottie

“i know your secret” and boom, we have stepped fully into our story. i love that this comes right at the end of a chapter, particularly a chapter with a lot of just talking and descriptions because it’s like a mini slap in the face to remind you this is not just a story of a girl at a prestigious school

also once again, we have foreshadowing of lottie’s heritage- this time without even the person who wrote it truly knowing. also “the company of wolves” - lottie is in the company of ‘wolves’ without even knowing it at this point ahhh it’s just so clever when you look really deeply

of all the things to choose from the breakfast she grabs a piece of toast? not even a croissant or something that you can still eat on the go??

okay as much as i’m lottie, im also very ms kuma. actually i think connie must have secretly stalked me while writing the books /j

“‘Holy chocolate biscuit!’” best line

ugh maths class flashbacks i’m so glad i never have to do maths classes again

i wanna hear people’s theories about the red dragonfly and the frog. since red is conch- resolute-brave, maybe it’s suggesting lottie’s struggling to be brave

or maybe ani is the “delicate red dragonfly”, and this whole princess business is hurting her

also the dragonfly is on a lily pad, which we now know to be symbolic of lottie and her heritage

“the dragonfly is generally associated with the symbolic meaning of transformation” - googled

so change has come to lottie and it’s been eaten. i suppose on a simpler level it mostly symbolises her struggles with moving to rosewood

anyway, we’ve now got tension on a few levels and it’s starting to amp up a little- ellie has a surprise, there’s the “present”, lottie feels out of place and now people think she’s a princess. once you get to this point in the book you’re not putting it down, from here on out there’s a question for every answer and new threads to follow. we are the dragonfly, and connie glynn is the frog

[foxymoxynoona]

sometimes I randomly think about Sasha enjoying getting spanked and I luv that for her😵‍💫😮‍💨 will we be getting more of that in the future?

and on a similar note.. I wonder if as they grow to trust each other more and jk becomes more confident, will we be getting a more dominant side of him wrt sex? bc like maybe an unpopular opinion but I feel that it would be so rewarding for him (feeling in control when the whole world is basically refusing to give him any autonomy/space to grow up, one of the many examples being the tattoo incident)…

and w Sasha too! her relationship with sex (very understandably) relies so much on power, and (maybe I’m projecting haha but) it’s hard for her to feel comfortable/vulnerable without it. (I’ve been there, so this hits very close to my heart) but trusting and loving even one person enough to give up that control, knowing they will not harm you or take advantage, is also so liberating.

((Ofc all of this is rocky. Trust is hard to build and they may have a long way to go before they reach that point in their relationship…))

Anywayyyy these r just the ramblings of a random person who relates deeply with Sasha, but healing from cptsd looks different for everyone, so I am looking forward to learning how their story develops 😊

Thank you foxy for writing this beautiful fic. it has been an honor, a pleasure, and my greatest comfort to read these wonderfully human characters.

It's definitely such a sign of trust for her. I like to think she actually got so caught up in her joy and pleasure that for a moment her trust issues sort of quieted down. I think we all hope for her to get to a healthy, happy place where she's able to just enjoy whatever her heart desires with a partner, and manage when something still rears its heada but that only be a blip.

You make an interesting point about Jungkook too. I think the words dominant and submissive have so much baggage when we talk about fanfic where we often mean really major definitions of those words haha and only time will tell how far either of them settle into solid roles like that but like you said, I think him finding confidence and comfort in having more control in his sexual life would be great for him. He already took a big step up after their breakup, since his expanded experience left him feeling less "behind" Sasha.

I've really tried to have sex be both an area of escape and release for both of them, but also secretly indicative of areas of need or opportunities for growth for them. You're completely right that no two peoples' healing journeys look identical and they definitely have a lot of it ahead of them, including a lot of joy and fun 😉

[boypussydilf]

tryng to think of who to send that hasmt been sent yet for the character hcs thing uhhhhh koyuki and also. hrmgh. pururu? the purble pimk frog. tell me about them or else

the NEED. to do ask games. vs the limited amount of characters that exist in this world. FUCK yeah Them. Koyuki time

Sexuality Headcanon: GOOD NEWS KOYUKI IS A CANON LESBIAN!!!!! one part of her wiki page claims that there have been some passing references to her being interested in guys but i dont believe that bc i have never seen it hqppen ever. we know 1 person koyuki is canonicqlly attracted to and its natsumi

Gender Headcanon: koyuki is a trans girl. koyuki is also a trans boy. you know how it is

A ship I have with said character: YAAAAAY FOR KOYUKI AND NATSUMI. GAY PEOPLE. i dont have anything to say about them because relationship wise they’re just so normal. they just hang out in a normal way. they’re just cute

A BROTP I have with said character: *gestures to my icon*. You know how it is when you find a Weird Fucking Thing in the woods and adopt it as your dad. They’re so fucking funny. shout out to when dororo is koyukis wingman which i think has only happened 1 time but it did happen and it consisted of trapping keroro in a bathroom and it makes sense in context but only in the way anything in this fucking series makes sense in context. Anyway they care each other. Also shout out to Mukuro!! Who we’ve only seen like twice but she was koyukis First Friend and also the person who gave her her name!!

A NOTP I have with said character: hmm. It seems like a small amount of ppl ship her w saburo bc of the anime episode where natsumi thinks koyuki and saburo are dating (koyuki is just asking saburo for advice on what gift to get natsumi iirc) They can and should be #besties but koyuki is a lesbian and saburo is aro theyre not in love

A random headcanon: uhhhhhh. I’ve decided it doesn’t count if I just say “she’s autistic” i already said that a bunch. And its not a headcanon its a divine truth. Ok it’s not really a headcanon bc i don’t have any Answers but I wish we knew more about her childhood?? I think the manga implies she lived in shinobino village like her whole life since she was a baby or something but the anime distinctly implies that she omly started living there when she was like, 6. Either way WHY ? Was she only just getting NAMED for the first time at age 6? It’s never outright stated that she’s an orphan but, you know, she’s never mentioned to have any parents and she was given her name after several years of life by a girl only a few years older than her. So???? What happened. I’m just curious. Anyway I think koyuki would listen to 100gecs. Actually so would mois. Mois and koyuki should hang out

General Opinion over said character: MY FAVORITE LITTLE :3BOY EVER. i have been soulbonded with koyuki from the moment i saw her i love her so much because she is the greatest. She’s incredible!! She has it all!! She’s gay! She has ninja magic! Her whole family is adopted! She doesn’t know what rice balls are! She is constantly grappling between 2 seemingly incompatible aspects of her life BUT SHE STAYS SILLY. I love her. Everyone vote koyuki. “In what” i dont know…. vote koyuki…..

pururu goes under a cut to save space <3

on mobile glitches these doesn’t it

making a few lines to avoid the way mobile fucks with my readmores.

leave me alone tumblr.

Sexuality Headcanon: Huh…. I’ve never thought about it…… i think pururu is just straight

Gender Headcanon: she can be a trans woman if she likes <3

A ship I have with said character: GARUPURU. they are “accidental parents of the found family to lovers”. To me. Their “found family” is 2 kids who are insufferable assholes and 1 guy pururu’s age who wants to kill her childhood friend. They’re a weird family but I believe in them. Go forth pururu and date giroro’s older brother, deeply distressing him

A BROTP I have with said character: entire Dysfunctional Childhood Friendship Trio <3 She REALLY loves those assholes. dororo is the one she interacts with the least probably but i would like their friendship the most i want it to be more real. On paper they seem like they would both be the Sane and Reasonable Ones together, but, like. Pururu brings perspective. Pururu’s presence enhances the fact that keroro giroro & dororo are all complete dumbshits in a way no one could have expected because they’re already so obviously dumb. Dororo is the reasonable one until you put him in any fucking situation. I want a dororo & pururu focus story. Fuck them other kids. I dont know what the hell would happen if you put Just them together for a while. How do i find out.

anyway that probably also covers All The Friends Pururu Really Has? shes childhood friends w the childhood friends. she has a Strictly Professional relationship with the entire garuru platoon. and she hung out with chiruyo or whatever her name is in 1 episode of the anime. and i dont know. if she has any other canon. like. Friends. come on girl form relationships

A NOTP I have with said character: i feel like garupuru might be the only pururu ship ive ever even seen. i dont feel like ive even really seen ppl shipping her w keroro or giroro or dororo which is kind of wild bc technically in canon they did all crush on her as kids at least in the anime. Anyway uhhhh. I guess if someone shipped her w bariri id hit them in the head. Give her a break

A random headcanon: Thinking abt the one (1) shot in the anime of her in her bed and she’s got like a little frilly nightcap and a fancy lamp and a fucking pocketwatch….. Canonically pururu being Typical Woman Character is terrified of aging. I think that she tries to Look & Dress Young but she goes for like. styles of accessorization and decoration that were popular w girls on keron when She was a teenager. so the effect fails. Anyway for comedic effect the popular keronian girlstyle 6-7000 years ago may or may not have just been like late 1800s-early 1900s britain style. This is so fucking dumb and it’s been living in my head for too long

General Opinion over said character: I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT MY OPINION OF PURURU IS. she’s a bad character. she’s a good character. she’s interesting but you have to scrape off all the layers of LITERALLY being the MOST GENERIC CONCEPT OF “A WOMAN” to get to the interesting parts. She’s very normal but she’s so weird. She drops everything at any time to hang out with those 3 kids she knew in grade school who have not gotten any smarter since then. She became a nurse because she is a sadist. She’s. She’s something. I think I like her. Cheers here’s to many more years of pururu being… whatever pururu is

[strapinandstraponyourstrapons]

hm, can u tell me about 3 7 and 9, please???? 🥹

of course my lovely friend!🔥🖤🔥

3. Ah, you've stumbled upon one of the completed ones, and it's "i lost my heart under the bridge" 😂🖤

i always think of titles when i'm finished based on song lyrics that i think fit it. while i'm still working on it, i save it with a placeholder title that is usually a dumb meme or literally whatever song lyrics are in my head. while i was starting this one about tara dying, i was thinking, what should i call it? and then i heard the grimes song shinigami eyes immediately start playing in my head and i was like "...this is NOT funny. this is the saddest shit i've ever written in my life. you stfu with your memey ass bullshit" and then i typed "are you ready to die got my shinigami eyes on" in the title bar bc at least i'm gonna know what it means🤣

i'm so sorry to tara raeken. but she'd enjoy grimes, i know it

7. genuinely just an ideas doc for later, with things i might work into future fics. this one i really like:

"Thiam are standing with their usual lack of respect for personal space while arguing about the plan. Stiles and Mason are standing nearby, with Stiles stroking his chin and narrowing his eyes at the other two. He leans in to Mason. “It’s like… do they need to be three inches apart for that conversation?” Mason sighs deeply. “You have no idea what I’ve been going through.”"

(i also have a fun idea about theo and stiles investigating a new guy in town who seems sus and they think might be a hunter, and it's a real bonding experience for them, but when they find out it's liam's bio dad things get... less fun)

9. woowee i haven't updated this doc much since like January and there's a lot i would change but this i stand by:

"Jenna - maybe Jenna is like admin at a kindergarten or something and still hasn’t decided what she wants to do with her life at almost 50. I kinda love that for her. She would just have a million hobbies and special interests. Definitely a painter. Probably takes random classes and gets Theo to drive her."

[chryzure-archive]

ChrysiArchie rant you say…? 👀👀

YES, OKAY, SO.. this is a little bit of world-building / just general storyline stuff i’ve added, and i’m putting them in random bullet points, so if they don’t make sense… alas <//3 but i’ve been thinking abt them sooo hard even though i haven’t even gotten to archie in my reread yet (i think i’ll die when i see him again, fr!!!), SO:

on selene, it’s… semi-normal for you to take on a consort in a marriage. it happens a lot if it’s an arranged marriage (as is chrysi’s with her fiancé, who i have been thinking will be elias bloom for extra fury and helplessness :)), so in an attempt to find any hope in her future, chrysi chooses jacks to become her legal consort. obvi he jumps on this chance bc it’s THE only way for him to be with her, but okay. we move.

vaguely related to that… chrysi was technically “arranged” to marry azure waaaaay back before she’d even been shipped off to the pole. she was the executioner and he was some noble (forgive me, my world-building hasn’t gotten this far ;;; i was thinking w chryzure soulmate brain instead of writer-brain

anywayyy, azure dies :) and UGHHH, ophelia learns allll about chrysi and her tragic past through the engagement ring set azure gave chrysi :((( she didn’t mean to read the past in the objects, but she touched it and chrysi’s grief was so overwhelming that it dragged her into reliving chrysi’s pain over losing azure… and later going deeper into the rings’ memories to see how much azure truly loved chrysi. it kills me inside. it shocks ophelia, since chrysi seemed to give her heart so wholly to archie. lots of things going on there.

that follows up w a scene between chrysi and ophelia, where chrysi talks abt soulmates… and bc in the mirror visitor series, the population doesn’t believe in god anymore (…. except the god they talk of isn’t even god, it’s a woman named eulalia gonde, and her name has been mispronounced and warped into “god”. sorry, that’s a major spoiler, but we move, okay), chrysi goes on to say, “i don’t know if i believe in a god like the ancients did, but i do believe there was some higher divinity that made azure for me and i for him. everything about our love was ordained. i could believe in a god with him at my side.” SOBBING. IMAGINE BEING ARCHIE WALKING IN ON THAT AND FINDING OUT THAT CHRYSI HAD A WHOLE ENTIRE SOULMATE BEFORE SHE DEDICATED HERSELF TO ARCHIE AFTER AZURE’S DEATH. I’M GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP.

also, vaguely related to that: on selene, i’ve decided that even though religion has moved away from the concept of a “god”, they do still have saints that they worship (esp since they’re such a dreamlike people, it makes sense to me??? but also i wanted jacks to still swear by using the saints’ names hehe)—and that chrysi, as the current executioner, has gained such a foothold in politics (on accident), that she’s on her way to becoming a saint. even jacks, when she takes him on as a consort (after she left archie and archie… kinda left her too, unintentionally), will whisper that she’s his saint alone and he doesn’t want to share her. also he calls her “saint chryseis” bc. i want to have some chrysijacks crumbs in this universe, okay.

since selene is highly inspired by venice as well, i figured the combination of the arts and religion being so deeply ingrained in the arts leads to a reasonable assumption that selene would still be more religious than the rest of the arks. …. yeah :)

….anyway, unrelated, archie shows up during chrysi’s engagement party. we’ve been over this. he doesn’t realize it’s chrysi’s engagement party at first though???? and when he sees chrysi walk up to elias bloom + he sees that she’s taken off all of her rings so elias bloom can put his singular stupid fucking trophy ring on chrysi’s finger, archie feels such a sense of horror that he doesn’t know how to explain.. then he realizes, oh, he loved how much chrysi was independent, even though it frightened him a little bit, how little he understood her… :((

elias bloom is the one that dies unexpectedly :) on that same night where chrysi’s washing the blood off her hands and archie shows up mid-hand wash and chrysi’s terrified and confused by her spotty memory :) both archie and jacks are thrilled chrysi’s no longer engaged to that bastard, but it’s pretty obvious that this doesn’t look good for proving her innocence.

anyway, also jumping to another point: chrysi never let archie use his ability of transparency on her bc she was frightened that if he did, he would feel her pain and realize that she was sick and dying. she didn’t want him to grieve her while she was still alive. well, jokes on her, bc archie’s also dying, but you know. whatever.

that said… their happy ending is him using his powers to create their own little communion of souls (pretentious, but it is kinda a romantic concept. i hate him) and they’re finally no longer hiding any secrets from each other + now they trust each other… they make me want to gnaw on drywall.

[mercurygguk]

bleeding for you | jjk

genre; angst, fluff

pairing; EMT!jungkook x female reader

✎ summary; In which it’s just another quiet night at the fire station until there’s an alarmingly serious car accident not far away. Jungkook is the first on the scene along with his partner, Namjoon. What meets Jungkook at the scene of the accident is worse than anything he could ever imagine.

word count; 3,367

based on a request by anon; It's a Jungkook au, where he's a EMT & they get a call for a very serious accident. When he arrives on scene he sees a very familiar car. A hand dangles from the shattered window, the engagement ring he'd slipped on your finger not two months ago mocking him. I envision a happy ending, but if you want, do with it what you will.

warnings; Descriptions of car accidents, mentions of bruises and blood, jungkook’s crying a whole lot, i’m sorry if this is tough on your heart bc it definitely was on mine, phew

a/n; I LOVED THIS IDEA FROM ANON, SO THANK YOU ANON and let’s be honest here, paramedic/EMT!jungkook is lowkey hotttt. Also, I took some inspiration from the tv-show Chicago Fire and some from Grey’s Anatomy because those are the only shows I’ve actually watched with things related to this kind of scenario, lol. I hope you like it, enjoy!

ps. it’s heavily unedited and i wrote this rather quickly, so please ignore if you spot anything hehe

The clock ticks on the wall and there are sounds of cars passing by once in a while outside on the street. Jungkook is staring silently at the TV in the staff room, his eyes focused on the ball that moves around between the football players. He’s bored, sighing deeply to himself as he drops his head back against the back of the couch he’s currently slouching on. Namjoon, Jungkook’s partner, plops down beside him, a sandwich on a plate for him to eat for dinner. He looks happily at his sandwich, more than excited to bite into it and finally getting a chance to continue reading his book for once.

Jungkook hates quiet nights at the firestation. He despises them. It makes him think of all the other things he could be doing instead – an example being at home, in bed with you; his fiancé. A title you recently had gained after Jungkook finally got the courage to get down on one knee for you, asking you to be his for the rest of his life. Just the thought of the happiness he felt that night made butterflies erupt in his stomach, suddenly daydreaming about your smile and the way you always manage to make him feel like he’s floating on a pink cloud. He’s totally whipped, but only for you.

His daydream is quickly interrupted by the sound of Namjoon chewing his sandwich loudly, making Jungkook glare at him with disgust. Namjoon, the charming person that he is, looks back at Jungkook in confusion.

“What?” Namjoon blurts with his mouth filled with a bite of his disgusting sandwich. Jungkook shakes his head at him, turning back to the boring game that’s unfolding on the TV. He really hates quiet nights. 

After half an hour and still nothing, Jungkook groans and gets up from the couch to wander around, causing Namjoon to look at him again with tired eyes. “What’s going on, Jeon?” He asks, flipping a page in his psychology novel.

“Nothing’s going on,” Jungkook grumbles, tired of just sitting around, “absolutely nothing.” 

Namjoon is about to tell Jungkook to sit down and relax for once but the alarm beats him to it, sounding loudly throughout the entire fire station. “Squad 3, truck 81 and 82, ambo 65, 78 and 32 – bigger car crash on the 5th highway, multiple victims,” Taehyung from the alarm center's voice booms throughout the fire station’s rooms. Jungkook’s eyes widen and so do Namjoon’s. They’re quick to move, book, sandwich and football match long forgotten as they run to their unit. Jungkook jumps in the driver’s seat, buckling up faster than ever. His partner is fast to join him and buckling up as Jungkook speeds out of the garage at the fire station and onto the road. Jungkook’s focused, eyebrow knitted together in concentration and the urge to do what he does the best – save some lives.

The highway is chaotic once Jungkook and Namjoon arrive as the first ones at the scene, multiple cars lying around – on the hood, on the side and some crushed to the point of where it’s not even a car anymore. It looks worse than anything they have ever experienced and it’s slightly terrifying but they’re headstrong as they grab their medical bags and run off to a random car each. Squad 3 and the firetrucks pull up not long after Jungkook and Namjoon’s arrival, all of them getting out quickly and getting to work, trying to see if they can save all victims or just the majority of them.

The first car Jungkook reaches is empty, the driver of it luckily managed to get himself out before any sort of rescue arrived. He seems fine, his car almost not even scratched. “Sir, are you alright?” Jungkook asks, doing his job in making sure the man is alright before continuing to another car. The man nods, waving a hand at Jungkook.

“Please go see some of the others, I’m fine!” He almost sobs, clearly traumatized by the car accident.

Jungkook nods at that, giving him one last look all over before heading on to the next car. He looks around in his haste to get to the next one, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he spots a familiar looking car. It can’t be, he thinks to himself as he turns to look at the car properly. His chest tightens at the thought, feeling himself hastily moving closer to the car as tears begin to form in his eyes. It doesn’t occur to him until a hand dangling from the window catches his attention as he gets closer, the diamond ring confirming his worst fear.

“No, no, no!” Jungkook shouts in a mix of terror, anger and his heart breaking into a million pieces, tears already falling from his eyes as he runs up to the car, his hands trembling. Pain shoots through him at the sight of you, body limp and unconscious, face battered in bruises and wounds and there’s blood on your beautiful, white shirt and he prays to God that isn’t yours but who is he even trying to fool? Of course, it’s yours. “No, please, no!”

From the other side of the highway, Namjoon spots Jungkook scrambling towards the car that he, too, finds awfully familiar. His eyes widen at the sight as realisation hits him. 

“Shit!” He hisses, making sure the victim he’s treating is okay before running towards Jungkook, heart beating a hundred miles per hour. All he can think about is getting his partner away from the car which is lying on its side. “Kook!”

Namjoon has to pull harder than he expected as he reaches Jungkook. He isn’t willing to let go of the car, hands reaching for your unconscious body that is still, thankfully, buckled up in the driver’s seat. You hear nothing of Jungkook’s cries as he’s pulled away by his partner and best friend. “____! Baby, please wake up, please!”

The sight in front of them is nothing but a real life nightmare, the scene only a fear of Jungkook’s until tonight. Namjoon has no idea how to calm his partner down as he pulls him away. His heart is breaking at the sound of Jungkook’s sobs, his chest heaving for air as he looks at the broken car, which was nicely parked in the parking lot of his and yours apartment building when he left for work this morning. He watches it being pulled apart to reach you, the EMTs of Ambo 78 tending to your wounds and body, trying their best to support you until they get you to the hospital.

They lift you into the ambulance, Jungkook’s body working automatically as he tries to jump into the back of the ambulance and ride with you to make sure that they’re taking care of you the right way. This isn’t just another victim, it’s you, Jeon Jungkook’s fiancé. Namjoon holds him back, using all his strength because a sad, terrified Jungkook is stronger than he ever could’ve imagined.

“Hyung, please, I need to go with her!” Jungkook cries, glancing quickly at the man holding him back, before looking back at the ambulance you’re now in. They close the doors, hurriedly getting in the front and speed off. “For fuck’s sake, Namjoon, let me go!”

Namjoon shakes his head, “I need you to calm down first, Kook. You’re not thinking clearly.”

Jungkook thinks that’s the biggest load of bullshit he’s ever heard. He whirls around, not in the mood for his best friend’s psychology shit. “I swear, I will punch you,” he sneers, eyes watery and cheeks stricken with tears. Namjoon stares back at him, lips in a tight line and eyes wide because he has never seen Jungkook so out of it before. “How am I supposed to calm down when my fucking fiancé is a victim of one of the biggest car crashes we’ve ever witnessed, huh? She’s hurt and unconscious in the back of one of OUR ambulances right now, Joon. Don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”

Despite his harsh words, Namjoon feels sorry for Jungkook. He nods, putting his hands up in surrender. Jungkook breathes out, chest heavy with a feeling he can’t quite describe. He just knows that he doesn’t want to waste another second here, the only place he wants to be is by your side until you wake up and tell him you’re okay.

“At least let me drive you to the hospital?” Namjoon offers, voice hesitant and cautious as he gestures to their ambulance. 

Jungkook sniffs, nodding, “please.”

The ride to the hospital is quiet, tense too. Jungkook is staring straight ahead and not moving, just letting the tears in his eyes fall until he has none left. He’s pretty sure the drive to the hospital usually isn't this long. He feels like he’s been on this ride with Namjoon for hours when really, it has only been at least 15 minutes. 15 minutes too long, he thinks to himself. He could’ve been with you right now, holding your hand while you get sutured up and stitched back to perfection – at least what Jungkook thinks is perfection. However, you’d never agree on that.

Namjoon doesn’t get to say anything before Jungkook’s out of the passenger seat of the ambulance, his body moving almost before Namjoon had parked it. He doesn’t notice anything around him, heading straight for the front desk to ask about your status. The nurse there looks at him with a face that says she’s sorry without even saying the words. Jungkook doesn’t need those words, there’s nothing to be sorry for. People only say they’re sorry when something really bad happens, and as far as Jungkook knows, you’re still alive. You have to be. He hasn’t married you yet.

“My fiancé was brought here not long ago, her name is ____,” Jungkook hurriedly asks, the nurse working quickly to type into her computer. Jungkook taps his foot against the floor in impatience.

“She’s in surgery at the moment,” the nurse says softly, watching as Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat at the news. Namjoon comes up beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “The doctors will find you once they’re done.”

Namjoon nods in appreciation to the nurse, Jungkook stares at nothing in particular, scared he’ll break down in the middle of the entrance of the hospital he so often visits because of his job. “We’ll wait over there,” he tells the nurse, tugging Jungkook along. “Let’s go, Kook.”

Jungkook follows along, sitting down in a seat with Namjoon beside him. He feels like he should be calling his family and yours, yet he can’t think straight and his head is empty for words right now. The only thing on his mind is you and the fact that you’re at risk of dying. He has no idea how serious your injuries are but they’re serious enough to land you on the surgery table. His breathing is short, eyes staring at the floor and ears focusing on the sound of the opening and closing of the doors to the surgery halls. He feels alone even though Namjoon is sitting right beside him, he feels helpless, he feels like he’s been left in the dark. He knows nothing about what’s happening to you and it’s driving him absolutely crazy. The thought of losing you brings a new round of tears to his eyes, lips trembling as he fights to keep his sobs inside and not break down in the middle of other people. It’s like Namjoon senses as he gets up, pulling his phone from his pocket. He moves a bit away from Jungkook, speed dialling the only person he knows will be able to comfort his best friend in the slightest. 

Jungkook’s wandering the waiting area, hands tightly intertwined in front of his lips and eyes closed as he walks back and forth in front of Namjoon. It has been at least three hours and his nerves aren’t exactly becoming less the longer it takes for the surgeons to give him some kind of news – any kind would be appreciated by now. He stills as a hand comes to rest against his back, gentle touch that can only belong to one person on this planet. He turns around to face her, her eyes softening at the sight of his red eyes and wet eyelashes.

“Mom,” he croaks out, a sob raking through his body as he crumbles into her embrace.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she coos, wrapping her arms around his tall frame, hugging her sweet, heartbroken son to her chest in the hopes of comforting him just the tiniest bit. They stay like that for a few minutes until Jungkook’s mother breaks the embrace, holding him at arm's length. “I’m sure she will be fine, Jungkook. She’s a strong woman.”

He sniffles, feeling slightly better at his mother’s words. He offers a small, the tiniest, smile. She smiles softly and comfortingly at him, reaching up to wipe his tears away. “You have to be strong too, sweetheart. She needs you to be strong for her.”

Jungkook nods and whispers lowly: “I know, mom.”

“Mr. Jeon?” A voice calls. Jungkook, his mother, and Namjoon whips around to face the doctor who called Jungkook’s name. “Miss ____ is out of surgery. We were able to fix her injuries and she is up for recovery now.”

Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, feeling a heavy weight disappearing from his shoulders. The doctor offers him a warm smile. “She will be in the ICU for at least a couple of days until we see some progress. You can go see her, she is in room 248.”

“Thank you so much,” Jungkook says with the utmost gratitude and a smile as he shakes the doctor’s hand before grabbing his things and heading in the direction of the ICU. 

He finds the room without any problems, pausing just outside of the door. His mother and Namjoon both stand behind him, watching him in silence. They’re not pushing him, letting him do this on his own, letting him prepare for whatever he’s about to meet behind this door. He inhales and holds his breath before pushing the door open and heading inside. The sound of the monitor beeping is the first thing that meets him, what meets him next causes him to gasp softly in horror. This must be what it feels like to live out your nightmare and biggest fears, he thinks to himself as he moves closer to your body that’s lying unconsciously on the bed. It seems his tears are never-ending today as he pulls a seat to the side of the bed, sitting down with his eyes trained on you.

He looks you over, wincing lightly at the sight of tubes and IVs attached to you. There are scratches and wounds on your body, your skin beaten up from the harsh car crash you so unluckily ended up in earlier. He’s hesitant as he reaches for your hand, being more than careful as he intertwines his hand with yours. You don’t squeeze his hand like you always do and it makes him realize that you are in fact unconscious and probably not aware of the entire situation right now.

Jungkook scans your face, lips trembling and fingers shaking as he reaches up to move your hair out of your face. There’s scratches on your pretty face too, a big patch on the right side of your forehead where they stitched you up. He’s hurting, not quite as much as you, as he looks at you. You’re still gorgeous, even like this. 

“I love you so much, ____,” Jungkook whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your ring-clad hand. “Please be okay.”

Days have passed since the accident, and you still haven’t opened your eyes. Jungkook is becoming impatient, sitting here and waiting is killing him slowly. His mother had left in the morning after being with him throughout the first night. Jungkook had called your family while his mother held his hand. He will never forget the way a sob raked through your mother’s body as he told her what had happened. They were here now; your mother, your father and your brother, Yoongi. Your parents sit on either side of you, Jungkook’s resting against the wall at the end of the bed, Yoongi sitting in the chair beside him. The silence is almost unbearable but no one dares speaking, afraid of nothing in particular – perhaps the chances of you crashing right in front of all of them.

Jungkook’s done crying. He doesn’t think he has any tears left in him, only this heavy feeling of regret even though he has nothing to regret. No matter what, he couldn’t have stopped this from happening. Why you were out driving that late is still a mystery to him, but he’s not sure he wants to know. He has a feeling it will tear him apart knowing the reason.

Your dad jerks up from his resting posture causing everyone to widen their eyes at him. “S-she squeezed my hand,” he almost whispers. Jungkook’s breathing quickens, eyes staring at your closed ones. He waits, anticipating the worst. Your eyes flutter, a small crease forming in your forehead as you try to adjust to the lights in the room. He sighs in relief for what feels like the hundredth time, feeling the tears coming back. Okay, he isn’t quite done yet.

“Jungkook?!” You croak out, trying to sit up. Jungkook feels his heart breaking at the tone in your voice. You sound confused, slightly shaken up and sad. He’s quick to be at your side, taking over from your father. His hand grabs yours, fingers intertwining automatically. “Kook,” you whimper, clearly not fully awake from your deep days long slumber.

“I’m here, baby” he softly calls, searching your eyes with his own, “I’m right here.”

You look at him, eyes locking and you feel yourself calm down already. Jungkook notices the unshed tears in your hazy eyes. “Where am I?” You ask, voice small.

“The hospital,” he explains, keeping his voice low and soft for you as you just woke up from a long, long nap. “You were in an accident, ____. Do you remember what happened?”

You shake your head, wincing at the movement. Your entire body is sore, hurting everywhere and you want to cry. You just want to cry and hug Jungkook tightly because that’s the only place you feel safe and happy, in his arms. 

“How long?” You speak a bit louder now, still not registering your entire family standing around the two of you. You’re in your own little world, your focus only aimed at the curly-haired man in front of you. Your mom is watching you closely, letting a small tear slip down her cheek as she takes in the moment of you and Jungkook. Your father is right beside her, rubbing her arms in comfort. Yoongi is watching too, smiling to himself because he doesn’t think his younger sister could’ve found anyone more fit for her than Jeon Jungkook.

“Only a few days,” Jungkook answers, bringing your intertwined hands to his chest. His heart is beating hard and fast causing you to gasp. He smiles at you as you look up at him, eyes wide.

You move to press your other hand to his chest, resting it above his heart. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle. Even when you’re the one hurting, you ask him if he’s okay just because his heart is beating a bit faster than it usually does. He nods, smiling softly at you, eyes twinkling with fresh tears once again. 

“I’m fine,” he whispers, leaning closer to press his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss. “Just really relieved.”

You smile at his words, only imagining how worried he must’ve been the past few days if you’ve been in this bed and unconscious. “I love you, Kook.”

Jungkook chokes out a laugh, “I love you too baby, more than anything.”

[mokutone]

sorry if this is random but i was just curious about your thoughts on sai? i know you have a lot of thoughts on yamato fhdjdlfn and his and yamato’s relationship always seemed so interesting and really underdeveloped :[ theyre both really similar but yamato was able to get out of ROOT before sai was, and i was just wondering if you had any thoughts on that/him to share. sorry if this is weird or out of the blue djshfkfj love your art!!

that's not weird at all!!! actually the day u sent this question in i had finalized the thumbnails (and started on the pencils!) for a comic wherein Yamato comments on how Sai is handling his transition out of ROOT differently than Yamato himself did! I don't want to lay all my thoughts on that out here, because I think i'm much more clumsy with textposts than with comics, but I appreciate the question and I will share some thoughts!

under a readmore tho bc. this got Long...comics force me to be concise but w/ a keyboard under my hands i just chatter

here's something I've been thinking abt! I think they had fundamentally different experiences in ROOT, and this is reflected in their attitudes towards Danzō, as well as the way they interact with the people outside of ROOT.

Sai seems to have no real loyalty to Danzō. He does what Danzō says because Danzō gives him his orders, when he practices his fake smile in front of Danzō, Danzō immediately tells him to cut that shit out. I don't think there's a lot of love lost there—when team Kakashi catches up to him in orochimaru's hideout, and they kind of confront him, and. also kind of. "give him the option" of abandoning his mission (and ROOT along with it) or. you know. facing shinobi consequences. he doesn't really seem to think much of it? honestly. i imagine he was probably a little more relieved than anything else. Add to that him remembering how he wanted to finish the drawing of his brother—

actually wait hang on thats another point I want to talk about. Sai was pitted against the person he was closest to in order to traumatize him into numbness! wack! I think that's kind of at the root (help.) of why I see him as a fundamentally angrier character than I see Yamato—and why I interpret some of his behavior not just as Not Knowing How People Work (although he does have trouble with this! it's a very different vibe. like. him trying to comfort Naruto and Naruto thinking Sai was coming onto him was an entirely different kind of situation) but as like. intentionally inflammatory sometimes...like. he's insulted the bodies of most of the people around him in one way or another, he knows it pisses them off, he does keep doing it. I think him Causing Problems On Purpose is sometimes just a way for him to try and experience catharsis for a fury he doesn't really know he's repressing. Like. idk. it's one thing to be forced to hurt yourself, that's deeply upsetting, disembodying, traumatizing, but it's another to be forced into a situation where you're to hurt somebody you love (regardless of the outcome) like. idk. its a kind of powerlessness that hits different at least ime, and frustration and resentment are extremely normal reactions to a situation like that. i think. a number of things could be appealing to him abt trying to get others to get angry at him—whether it's Him being the one to Cause another persons anger (which could confer a kind of. feeling of control) or him seeing himself reflected in their anger (like a "boy howdy i recognize this emotion. it's very clear. very understandable") or even seeing how they handle the anger. kishimoto definitely doesn't care nearly as much about Sai's anger. but i found the implication of it compelling as a kid, and I find it more compelling as an adult! anger can be an incredibly healing and protective force sometimes when dealing w/ trauma...and I wish kishimoto knew what he was writing about or that we got to see it explored more!!! ack!

yamato (as kinoe) had a wildly different experience when he was in ROOT.

we know he knew how to fight against sharingan, which. I think implies he was training in combat with Danzō, or that he worked closely with Danzō, or at the very least that Danzō used his sharingan on him. We also saw that (unlike Sai, who was rebuked for even fake-smiling) that Kinoe (at first) was not told to feel nothing, but instead instructed on how to feel by Danzō specifically. Like, mostly telling him to Feel Grateful etc, but I think him being told to experience specific feelings according to what Danzō thought was appropriate would lead to a different relationship with his emotions than Sai, who was told explicitly to repress them all at all times, and to not even attempt to preform them.

He also like. Thought. Highly. of Danzō, not just as a leader but as a person...it's kind of undeniable that Kinoe saw him as right, was willing to brand his own feelings and intuition wrong if it crossed Danzō's, openly sought Danzō's approval, when he fails his mission to secure Kakashi's eye, his reaction is. essentially immediately to return himself to Danzō to face whatever new dehumanization Danzō's got for him— even when Kakashi and Hiruzen drag him out of there he thanks Danzō for everything, and he seems genuine about it, despite. everything. He's more expressive than Sai for sure, He had like. a moment of anger, when he said that he wanted to be Tenzō, and Danzō denied him that basic self identification...but it's quickly squashed. Messy. Messy. I think. I think he has a little more trouble getting in touch w/ his anger than Sai bc of his emotional closeness to Danzō.

i think. because yamato knows that he was something more like Danzō's favorite, and that conveyed a vastly different experience than Sai's, he might feel a little complicated about being like "So...ROOT trauma, huh? Hell of a thing!" but. i also like to think that he's very quietly kind of trying to observe and support in a way which mostly allows Sai to figure himself out—I think when they are older they would probably talk about it more (also because then their tongue-seals will have finally disappeared. Thanks sasuke!), once Sai has close friends in the village and everything

Just a lot of like. "I have friendships down. I have teammates down, easily—but what am I to the old woman I buy my cabbages from. What degree of friendliness do I exhibit to her."

"I think...whatever you're comfortable with is fine. I know neither of us had particularly normal upbringings, but you don't have to execute every interaction perfectly for people to care about and respect you."

anyway god this is so long and soooo based in my own personal HCs. I hope there was something in here that was interesting to you!

[realcube]

randomly falling asleep with hq!! characters 💤

navi | masterlist | taglist 

thank you anon for this cute request!

characters: ushijima, tsukishima & yachi 

content warning: swearing, mentions of sexual assault 

thank you to anon for this cute request

wakatoshi ushijima

♡ he shows affection in his own...special way 😊

♡ by that, i mean that if you fall asleep while sitting next to him and he thinks you look cute, he’ll just stare (●__●)

♡ like deadass if he was anyone else, it’d be creepy as hell but he’s your bf so-

♡ he stares bc not only do you look precious, but he doesn’t want to touch you as he’s afraid that he might wake you up

♡ though, if you’re in public (like sitting next to him on the train) he might gently put his arm around your shoulders to make sure that onlookers know that you’re safe with him

♡ also, it only takes one time for him to catch on to your habit of disappearing and falling asleep in the most unconventional places and istg he is the BEST at guessing where you are - it’s a gift

♡ like he’ll arrive home and if you’re not there to immediately greet him with kisses, he’ll take a moment - let him boyfriend senses take over and walk him over to whatever room is giving him ✨(y/n) vibes✨, open the door and there is a 99% chance you are in that room sleeping 

♡ and he probably got it right first guess (which is a pretty big deal considering y’alls house resembles a sims fkn mansion made with motherload money)

♡ he’ll open the door to the storage cupboard to find you sleeping with the mr muscle spray and it’s such a shame bc he was going to be a clown and make a ‘why are you cheating on me?’ joke but you were in REM sleep 🙄

♡ or he’ll walk in to the conservatory and see you laying in the fetal position on the floor and that is the ONLY time he interferes with your sleep bc he doesn’t want you to fuck up your back 🥺

♡ like he has an obsession with your posture - like if you are slouched he will tell you to stand up straight or if you are sitting hunched in a chair, he’ll creep up behind you to start massaging your shoulders while fixing your posture 

♡ not to be rude though- just bc he cares

♡ also, he never questions how you end up falling asleep in the most random of places, he just goes with it 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

ushijima sighed as he hung up his jacket, realising that this was one of those days were you won’t come scurrying to the front door to greet him with kisses and instead he had to hunt through in search of you. although, it wasn’t much of a hunt considering his gut instinct said you’d be in the study room and there you were, cuddled up by the bookshelf. 

however, your back was hunched over in way that didn’t look to comfortable so ushijima thought it was his duty to transport you to somewhere that there was a lot more appropriate and fit for sleeping.

so he gently slipped one hand behind your back and the other under your knees to slowly pick you up and carry you to your shared bedroom. is efforts may have been in vain though as he noticed one of your lids flutter open out of the corner of his eye, “good afternoon, sweetheart.” he hummed, steadily shifting his hand from your back to the back of your head to tenderly caress your cheek with his thumb as you cuddled into his chest. “are you awake?”

“No.” you groaned.

“Shame, I was going to suggest going out for walk on the beach--”

“I’m awake! Let’s go!” 

kei tsukishima 

♡ he probably calls you lazy but he’s really just jealous of how well you can sleep

♡ coz he just lays in bed till 4AM staring at the ceiling 

♡ i imagine that if you were to fall asleep next to him in a crowded, bustling place - like on a train - he’d take off his headphones and clasp them over your ears so the loud announcements don’t wake you up  

♡ he doesn’t fall asleep on transport btw (not even planes) so don’t worry about missing your stop 

♡ though he’s not usually a fan of PDA, he’ll hold your hand without a second thought to lead you out the train when you’re still recovery from the post-sleep haze because of course he doesn’t want to lose you in the crowds of people or anything

♡ and if you have a cute lil sleepy face then he might take a picture but he’d probably edit the picture with snapchat or something and draw like a moustache on you, put a sarcastic caption or something then send it to you 

♡ (but he’d save an unedited version of the pic bc you’re adorable-)

♡ like tsukki leaves you on delivered most of the time on snapchat bc he believes if you have something important to say, you’ll just message him normally but the rare occasion you do get a snap from him, don’t get your hopes up bc there is a 99% it’s just something like a picture of you with a drawn on crown and the caption ‘sleeping beauty 🙄’ 

♡ ‘so you think i’m a beauty 🥺’

♡ then he leaves you on read

♡ he will not carry you under any circumstances in public btw

♡ and at home, if you were to fall asleep on the couch next to him while y’all were watching a movie, there’s a 50/50 that’d he carry you to bed 

♡ but if he doesn’t take you to bed, he’ll set down a pillow for you on the couch and shift you around so you were laying in a more comfortable position, then drape a blanket over you 

♡ in regards to when he comes back from work, you’re usually already asleep in bed - but there is one time that you were not in the bedroom, and he still teases you for it until this day 

♥���♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

most of the time, you’re sound asleep in bed by the time gets home but tonight you weren’t - in fact, you were no where to be seen. he had searched everywhere, called your phone multiple time and he looked at your schedule, but it appeared as though you were supposed to home right now - so hours, he was sitting fretfully on the couch, contemplating calling the police.

however, all his distressed pacing really worked up an appetite so he poked his head into the pantry to grab a snack but his soul almost left his body when he noticed you laying on the floor, fast asleep, with the cat curled up in your arms. who he didn’t even noticed was missing lol

usually, he wouldn’t even think of waking you up but the rage and shock that shot through his body resulted in him barking out, “what the fuck?! what are you doing here?! i’ve been looking all over this damn house for you and--”

he was cut off by the cat springing out of your arms from the surprising sharpness of his voice and scurrying off, leaving you confused on the floor on the pantry, half asleep, wondering how you got here and why tsukishima was yelling at you? “hm? what’s wrong, sweetie?” you hummed, rubbing your eyes while tilting your head up to look at his tall, slender figure looming over you in the doorway.

as much as tsukishima wanted to stay mad at you, upon noticing how cute your bedhead was along with how soft your voice was, he quickly realised that there was no way he could continue yelling you. so instead, he scoffed and slowly kneeled down to sit next to you on the floor, looking at you with kind yet concerned eyes as he inquired, “why were you sleeping in the pantry?”

it took you a moment to try and remember but once you did, you blurted out, “oh, berry was having trouble sleeping.” yes your cat is called berry. don’t question it. her full name is strawberry tsukishima shortcake. “so i cuddled with her in her favourite sleeping spot and she slept like a baby. but i guess i did too.” yo chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. 

tsukishima mentally cursed you out as he was expecting a silly explanation but shit that’s cute. why does he lowkey want to join y’all next time?

hitoka yachi

♡ gsrbtrhryh she gets so flustered and nervous when you fall asleep with her

♡ and she always does tbh bc she has no idea what to do 

♡ like she thinks you look so precious and angelic so she really wants to take a picture and - if she thinks you’d be okay with it - she clicks a photo and probably sets it as her background or posts it on her private story

♡ she is just so head over heels for you tbh that everything you do just astounds her 

♡ she just stares at you like ◉_◉ for half an hour bc you are so beautiful then something inside her just prompts her to lean in and just *mwah* and at first she is quite satisfied bc she has expressed her affection 

♡ but then a few seconds later her soul just leaves her body and guilt just washes over her 

♡  ‘OMG I JUST ASSULTED MY OWN S/O’

♡ she feels horrible 

♡ this close 👌 to calling the police on herself

♡ when you wake up, prepare to be bombarded with her apologies 

♡ once you reassure that it’d fine bc it was just a lil peck on the cheek and she is your girlfriend after all, it brings her the slightest peace of mind

♡ so you peck her cheek while she is asleep to call it evens and that basically fixes it 

♡ but anyway, she is so careful around you when you sleep - like she will literally do the most just to ensure that she doesn’t interrupt your REM sleep

♡ however, that can lead to extremely sticky situations - like the first time you ever fell asleep around her 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

You were on the 5th movie of your barbie movie marathon when she looked over and noticed you had fallen asleep half way through, so she immediately paused it so the noise wouldn’t wake you up. This was the first time she had ever seen you sleep and she felt somewhat flattered that you felt safe enough around her to be vulnerable - even though, yachi never really considered herself to be a rather daunting or intimidating person.

she couldn’t help but just sit and admire you for a few minutes before realising that she should probably transport you to somewhere more comfortable as you were currently sitting next to her on the pink beanbag in her room. and although  it was kinda comfy, the preferable alternative - her bed - was only a few feet away.

so she knew what she had to do.

she hopped to her feet and before she did anything too hasty, she stretched to ensure that she wouldn’t pull a muscle while doing what she was about to try. she inhaled deeply before crouching down - instead of bending over as she remembered what coach ukai had told her, ‘lift with your legs!’ - then snaking her arms under your torso and knees.

then, she sprung back up and immediately rushed over to the bed as even though you weren’t too heavy, she was afraid that if she held you for too long, you’d wake up. so once she reach the foot of her bed, she tossed you on so your neck was being supported by her soft pillow and yanked her duvet over you. 

she gazed lovingly down at your cozy figure laying on her bed and she couldn’t help but smile.

[cultgambles]

Nearly a Blip in Time

I love historical sukuna so here i am. Also i am lowkey so confused at his story. Like i know he was a sorcerer at one point in history but like when did he get all his arms?? BC according to the wiki he was killed and then became a cursed spirit and then his fingers were waxy (lol weird choice of word) ?? anyway, in this, hes not a people hes a monster.

He’s also OOC. first time writing for JJK, but i wanted something soft hehe. Reader bites the dust

Wc: 3033

Masterlist | Requests? open

“[Y/N], you can’t be serious. No way a person of your . . . stature . . . could research in depth about something as big as Ryomen Sukuna. In fact, I’d wager that you wouldn’t even get within 5 feet of his temple,” the local teacher scoffs, disbelief plain as day on his face.

“You wager? What if I do get within 5 feet, then? Will you take me in as your student?” You cross your arms, staring him down. “Do you accept the challenge? I mean, you said it to begin with.”

The scholar throws up a hand, blowing you off. “Fine, whatever. You have half a year to write an in-depth dissection of the demon lord Ryomen Sukuna, and you will report your findings back to me at this very hour once your time is up. I expect perfection.”

“And if I win?” You ask, writing down every word he has said.

“You won’t die.”

“And?” You shoot him an unamused glare.

“And I will take you in as a student. God curse your father for teaching you to read and write.”

“He knew it would be beneficial for me. Now, sign here so you don’t try to cheat your way out of this,” you thrust the wood block and paper attached towards him. The scholar grumbles, almost breaking the ink brush in the process of writing his signature.

You carefully tuck the contract under your arm and scurry off, not before telling him you’d be back.

His laughter echoes around you.

At home, your father was amazed and horrified to learn of this deal, but he knew nothing could stop you. You gave him one last hug for the time being and gathered what little belongings you had in a knapsack.

“Don’t worry, father, I’ll be back before you know it.” His warmth lingers on your person, seeping into your bones. You’ll miss this.

Sukuna’s temple isn’t far from your village, in fact, he was revered as a protector of some sorts. Perhaps one quick to anger and that changed on the dime. It was a couple miles up the mountain where the snow thinned in winter and where the flowers bloomed in the spring. You’ve been to it only a handful of times before, once with your father, and several with the other village ladies. A yearly tradition, you suppose.

The temple is always well kept, the torii gates painted a pristine red, the surrounding area swept and neat, no dust to be seen near the wells or on the floor. Some, like the scholar you had made a wager with, merely believed he was a spirit, a demon of imagination. Others, like you and your mother, really believed in his existence. Before it becomes too late, you decide to scope out the area and set up camp a ways away from the temple so as to not disturb him. You briefly wonder if he was here or away at some other village. Would he be wreaking havoc? or be somewhat kind and spare the folks living there? You decide to set up your small camp under the camouflage and protection of the trees, maybe fifty feet from the river. You’d be much happier to stay at home, but the paths could become treacherous for a young thing like you at night. Maybe a little bit of the great outdoors is what you needed, anyway.

Almost a week passes before you ever have the hint of seeing the demon in the flesh. It’s on one of the days where you bring a small offering. Not much since you can’t exactly go home and cook a nice meal every time, but usually a flower crown or other type of decor.

When you do see him, however, time slows to a crawl. You swear your legs feel like jelly as he glances down at you. Sharp-featured and arrogant, beautiful, all man. He stands tall, towering above you. He has to stoop to reach the depths of the temple from the doorway.

“Well, well,” he croons, “what do we have here?” His four eyes are the color of what flows through each being and his canines sharp as knives. Truly, he’s beautiful, sculpted muscles rippling under inky black tattoos, blazing red eyes.

You bow deeply and straighten your shoulders, gaze still downcast to be respectful. “I just wanted to make this offering to you. I know it’s not much, but I hope you will find it useful.” You raise the small gift above your head, feeling his gaze roll over your body, sharp nails lightly scraping against your skin, grasping the wreath.

“Peculiar,” he says. His thumb and forefinger tilt your head up and you struggle to avert your eyes. “What’s your purpose here, little human?”

“I made a bet with the town scholar. I’ve to write about you and return with my findings so I can become a real student there.”

“A student, eh?”

“Please! I’m fascinated by you,” you plead, feeling his grip on your chin tighten.

“I’m intrigued, if only slightly,” he muses, releasing you harshly enough you’re forced to regain your balance.

You soon learn his ego is massive, that’s probably the only reason he spared you. He’d just love something written about him, wouldn’t he? Ever the gracious god, he lets you stay in one of the temple rooms. You had offered to take one the furthest from his own so he could have plenty of space, but he put you up right across from his instead.

Something about you being near to always capture his persona. Whatever.

Life at the temple is never truly boring. there’s always something going on; whether someone bringing gifts, like an unlucky human sacrifice, or some warriors barging in thinking they could actually harm the demon.

Sukuna likes you watching him tear apart these people limb from limb the best. The first couple times you couldn’t stand it, but it soon became a natural occurrence. Sure, you felt bad for those folks, but they never came truly prepared.

“What’re you writing now, pet?” he asks you one day. You glance up at him. He’s wringing the blood out of one of his sleeves, the blood drip drip dripping to the floor in red rain.

“I’ve noticed you like toying with your prey. If you’re in a good mood, you’ll let them think you have the upper hand,” you tell him.

“And if I’m in a bad mood?”

“Slice them in half!” He nods. His black nails gleam in the sunlight and you watch a pair of arms reach up behind his head as a cushion as the other balances to sit next to you.

“I really like how the trees change color in the autumn,” he says nonchalantly.

“Because they’re the color of blood?” you offer. You draw a small leaf on your paper’s corner.

“Maybe. Their lives are so short, unlike mine. Not that I’ve been a curse for too terribly long.”

You bite your tongue. Is it lonely? bounces around in your head.

“What will I do when my little scholar leaves too?” You flush and stammer that you still have a couple months. Sukuna pauses in thought, then, a sinister smirk gracing his lips.

The more you get to know him, the more you realize that he’s much more bored with life. Killing random people stated his boredom and gave him something to do, it wasn’t until later that he learned to revel in it. The more you got to know him, the more you didn’t want to leave.

He taught you, too. Weird things, usually, but still, useful things. He wasn’t all that good a teacher, but he was patient and expected you to figure shit out on your own. Sometimes he took you down to the market and showed you how to best barter.

And to steal.

Other times, he would sit and watch you cook silently. He always says your cooking wasn’t crap, so you just take it as a compliment.

Six months have passed since you first climbed the mountain. Sukuna finds you in your room packing what little belongings you have.

“That time already?” he muses, leaning against the door. You hum in acknowledgement. “What if they don’t even accept me?”

“Then you’ll return, of course.”

“That’s a nice thought.”

Of course, little did you know, but to Sukuna, that was a command.

He didn’t just watch your figure walk away, no, he followed silently behind, taking in the way you’d stop to study a particularly interesting tree or follow the clouds.

Your village is still the same. Same rickety well, same sunken houses, same sort of dreariness when you left.

You make your way towards the school house, it’s kind of near the back of the village, backed up to the lush forest. “I’ve done it!” you call, standing tall. “Not only have I been within 5 feet of his temple, I’ve been inside. I’ve had actual conversations with the demon Ryomen Sukuna.” You fish out your copious amount of notes and dissertation, shoving it in front of you.

“I’m surprised,” is all the teacher says, “give it here.” You hand him the documents, and he flips through the pages.

“So?”

“So what? For all I know, this could all be made up.”

“What? It’s not! How would I make up his favorite fruit or the way he likes his meat cooked? Papaya and rare, by the way,” you cross your arms.

“Then you should have brought him down with you.”

“You called?” his deep, rumbling voice cuts through the silence.

“S-Sukuna? What are you doing here?”

“I told you, pet, you’d return to me.”

“Sukuna-sama!” the scholar bows. “This is all a misunderstanding, their findings were great! Very convincing!”

“Give them to me.”

“Yes, sir!” he wails, pressing the papers to the other’s chest.

“You didn’t think he would actually keep that bet, did you?” Sukuna asks you.

“Well, I was hopeful!”

“Aw sweet,” he mocks you lightly. “You don’t need to be surrounded by such inferiors. Come now.” It seemed just a snap and somehow the scholar’s head was lobbed off.

You nod dumbly, barely processing what exactly just transpired. Did he kill him? For you? Surely there must be something in it for him.

But the way he holds out one of his four hands for you to grasp sets a fire in your heart. It’s small, no grassland bonfire, but a smolder that you know will become a steady heat.

His hand is rough and calloused while yours only has a few bumps from holding your ink brush so tightly and for so long. Sukuna leads you back to the temple, guiding you back into the room you stayed before.

“Why,” you ask him softly.

He shrugs. “You’re amusing to me. I like the silly words you use.”

“So you like my company?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he chuckles, running a hand over your head.

“Hey! You’re gonna mess up my hair!” you giggle.

“Don’t worry, next time it will be because your head will be atop my bed.” Shameless. Truly shameless. “Just keep writing about me.”

Somewhere in between you returning to the temple and now is when you find yourself tangled in his sheets. Two of his arms wrap securely around your waist and hip, another caressing your cheek. If you’re being completely honest, it seemed as if he adored you. He never coddles you per say, but anything you’d mention off hand, he would remember. An object you wanted, or even that you wanted to take a bath later that day. Sometimes he would even brush out your tangles for you.

You’re surprised by the normality of it all, how he’s gentle with you, unlike others who dare to cross his path.

Waking up together is a part of your daily routine. (Every morning, he gives you a quick kiss on the forehead.) (You trace the patterns of his tattoos lazily.) You’d ask him about you and him sometimes, and he always responds that he’ll always keep his little one happy, that you belong to him. Sometimes, in the back of your mind, you wonder if he’s actually being truthful or he’s just passing the time. Maybe the truth is a little bit of both, but you’re happy anyway.

He likes holding you, the two of you sitting by the river in the flowerbeds, watching nature for hours at a time.

Other times, he lets down his walls in the four corners of the temple. Every time he comes home smelling of blood and decay, you drag him to the bathroom and run a hot bath. Your nimble fingers glide through his hair, stopping to pull out leaves and scrub away dirt from his skin. More often than not, he would pull you in with him, your laugh ringing in his ears like bells.

But happiness must come to an end.

Apparently.

It’s a weekday when it happens.

Sorcerers.

They come in doves, feet stomping like drums.

“I guess they’re tired of me wreaking havoc, hmm?” he muses.

“There’s a lot more than usual, are you sure you’ll be alright?” you whisper softly, cupping his cheek.

He holds your hand there, leaning in and closing his eyes. “Who do you think I am? Of course I’ll be fine. You will be too.”

“Okay,” you watch him leave, a familiar aura of danger seeping in like a thick fog.

But it’s not okay.

Someone finds you and they drag you out of the temple by the hair. You’re thrown to the ground harshly.

“What, a little harlot? That demon won’t bother saving you, don’t even look at him. You’re nothing to him,” the sorcerer tells you, pressing a steel toed boot to your throat. You’re gasping for a breath, any.

“Obviously you think I’m worth something since you’re dealing with me,” you struggle to voice.

His nostrils flare, eyes wide. “See you in hell,” he snarls. You’re feeling everything and nothing at once. Surely the wound in your chest as you bleed, but you can’t seem to think of anything good or bad. You’re clutching your wound, sputtering. As if sensing you, miraculously, Sukuna turns in your direction as his fist rips through someone’s chest. Faintly, you hear a roar of anger, and then the screams around you are deafening.

The dozens of sorcerers that tried to defeat Ryomen Sukuna lay at bizzare angles, each in their own pool of blood.

It’s this horrible humorless laugh, his open mouth desperate and hungry like he wants to devour the world in punishment for taking the one true thing he held dear to him. The last piece holding his humanity together. He doesn’t know how you even got out of the temple, that’s definitely not where he left you. You’re staring blankly ahead, but he notices your hand gripping the pendant he gifted you.

Sukuna sighs, kneeling next to you, holding you close to his chest. He doesn’t know what you would have preferred: whether to be buried or cremated, and there’s no point now. Ultimately, Sukuna places you in a bed of flowers. He makes his way back to the temple, stepping around the bodies that litter the floor. Maybe he can threaten some laymen to come clean up the mess.

When he returns to the main room, the first thing he notices is the shelf with all the books you loved. Papers strewn everywhere, pages bent.

Your findings about him on the top shelf are gone.

That’s not something he realizes until much, much, much later when he’s ambushed after terrorizing another village. It’s been years without you, and yet he still feels anger of how you were taken from him. He promised he would protect you, at least, in the sanctum of his own mind, never voicing it to you. And yet, he’s failed.

Your coping mechanisms suck, you’d probably say if you saw him now. But I’ll write it down anyway, and we can cross it out later, if you want.

Like your death, he’s not even sure how the sorcerers managed to defeat him.

His twenty fingers cut up, separated through time and distance. Dormant, for now.

—PRESENT TIME—

“Oi, brat, ask that blindfold asshole what those are.”

“Ask what are what?” his host, Yuuji Itadori quips.

“Over there, on display. The books.”

Yuuji hates to admit it, but he’s curious too. How important are they to be kept here, and in a glass case, no less? Anyway, he hardly ever gets to see cursed objects in the flesh.

“Gojo-sensei! What are those!?” he shouts.

“They’re books, don’t you know what a book is?”

“Okay, yeah, but what’s their use? Like, why are they here?” Yuuji pulls at his hair.

“Hmm, they’re written by a [Y/N]. Long ago, not much information about the author, but the writing is phenomenal. And all about that little curse inside of you,” Gojo smirks, running a finger down Yuuji’s forehead and bopping him on the nose.

“About Sukuna?”

“Pretty mundane stuff, if you ask me. I’ve been told the sorcerers that defeated Sukuna used those texts. Not sure how ‘he hates when food offerings have tomatoes’ was useful, but apparently it was,” he shrugs, looking at his watch. “Ah, would you look at the time, I’ve gotta go! Pressing matters with a special-grade. And the candy shop I want to go to closes in 30!”

“Later, sensei,” Yuuji waves. “You don’t like tomatoes?”--silence-- “What, no response? You’re suddenly shy now?”

Sukuna hears him, and ignores him as per usual.

So, my little scholar’s books were stolen, huh? Here, all this time?

[tendercoretroglodyke]

... I’m interested in legitimately gay Reese (I assume one piece of evidence is “look at what they’re doing and tell me you’re not gay”)

okay this is like 2 days late but this is why reese malcolminthemiddle is legitimately gay:

(side note: did anyone need a queer media thesis paper or something... I am willing to share lmao)

so none of this is like... rock solid evidence or anything but I need to believe at least one main character of a show is gay and/or trans to maintain interest and reese is the most plausible gay character. also it’s early 2000′s so he just gets a lot of vaguely homophobic jokes lmao

first of all, yes, the biggest piece of evidence he’s gay is those lines from that episode I quoted the other day--thinking malcolm is gay, he tries to show his support by giving him a gay porno: “’Naught Pool Boys 3!’ I watched 10 or 12 of these, and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like.” and when malcolm says he isn’t gay, reese responds “Malcolm. Check out what those guys are doing in that movie, and THEN tell me you’re not gay.”-- so, 1) reese sat down and watched like a dozen gay porn movies to ““find a good one for his gay brother”” and 2) he thinks malcolm would reconsider his heterosexuality if he watched what was in that movie, implying that HE reconsidered his sexuality after watching that movie, or at the very least found it hot

in the same episode, the character tricking malcolm into thinking reese is gay lists the following as evidence: he obsesses over his hair and his looks, loves his gourmet cooking, has a bunch of magazines covered in comically muscular men, and that he’s angry and acts like a jerk because he’s “dealing with something weird and confusing.” now obviously, the obsession with hair/looks can be chalked up to the fact that he’s a teenage boy, and there’s nothing inherently gay about enjoying cooking. the dozen magazines of muscle-bound men could certainly be taken as gay evidence, though, and it IS established in the show that his entire bully persona is his way of masking his inner feelings and insecurities. there’s literally a whole episode where he & malcolm realize they have no friends because they act like little shits to push people away because they’re afraid of rejection and/or abandonment from their peers. they ostracize themselves before they can be ostracized by the other students at school. I could probably write a whole other essay on reese’s psyche tbqh lmao there’s a shocking amount there!!

of the brothers who are actually old enough to be attracted to girls (reese, malcolm, and francis), he shows the least interest. now bear with me here. you might be thinking, “well, yeah, it’s malcolm’s show, we’re not gonna see things from other people’s perspective!” but that is actually surprisingly untrue, the show is very much equally shown from each family members’ perspectives. starting about s2, when malcolm is in early middle school, he starts getting crushes on girls and pursuing them. francis goes after a few women in the first couple seasons and then marries a woman we see a lot throughout the show. 

in the roughly... 130?? episodes I have watched so far, nearly all of reese’s “interest” in girls involve either: competition with malcolm, genuinely just liking her as a friend, or some completely ulterior motive. the only exception to this I can think of is in the early seasons where he has a crush on a cheerleader and tries to get on her good side by joining the cheerleading squad, which the writers clearly set up as a way to make gay jokes about reese. let me give you a few examples of his relationships with girls

the first relationship we see him in is with a “stupid girl” that malcolm tried (and failed) to date, and the main reason they get together is that they think on the same wavelength and genuinely seem to enjoy hanging out. they take breaks from their bro chats to make out every once in a while. eventually he gets her to break up with him because he doesn’t want to go to the school dance with her (he doesn’t want to go at all). years later, he’s dating some girl we meet for like 5 minutes, before he goes to confess to her that she’s the first girl he’s ever loved. she then breaks up with him. he’s sad, but taking it fairly well. he’s about to leave when he sees malcolm hiding under the bed, and learns that he stole his girlfriend. he then runs away to join the army. he was clearly MUCH more upset that his brother stole his girlfriend than he was that his girlfriend broke up with him. there are many more instances of him and malcolm competing for a girl’s affections, and he seems mostly motivated by the competition itself.

in addition to “stupid girl,” he also manufactures an “attraction” to his female army buddy in the last season. the premise of this episode is that his old army buddy (a girl he play-wrestles with and insults like he would his own brothers) comes to visit him, and malcolm convinces reese that she’s attracted to him, and that reese’s nervousness at learning that fact is proof he’s in love with her. there’s a misunderstanding where reese asks her if she has certain “feelings” and she says she does, but what she ACTUALLY means is that she has a crush on reese’s MOM. she’s a lesbian. reese later propositions her (saying he’s saved his virginity for this--he’s probably about 18 here), and when she says omg no im gay, he is HUGELY relieved they can go back to being friends. CLASSIC mlm/wlw friendship moment. 

there’s an episode where these cute girls pick up reese (& nerds) to kiss in front of their boyfriends to make them jealous. reese is all for it, and when malcolm argues that it’s not worth his dignity and the beating he’ll get from the girl’s boyfriend, reese counters that that’s WHY he wants to do this--he’s completely invisible at school, and thinks getting beaten up for kissing some guy’s girlfriend will at least make him known around school. at no point does he indicate he’s actually attracted to this girl, and when it comes time to kiss her, he finds the weakest excuse to run away at the last minute. 

im not gonna list all of these but there’s more lmao

the following is a random assortment of one-off gay jokes and out-of-context lines with gay reese implications, often homophobically bc its early 2000′s writing:

says “I’m gay” to a girl to give malcolm a better shot at her

(again in competition with malcolm) tries to flirt with a girl by spraying milk in her face as the punchline to a joke, which is. well. hm. self-sabotaging, to say the least!!

Reese: “Do you think it’s right to totally change who you are and turn your back on EVERYTHING you believe in, just to impress a hot guy??” [his dad gives a long, blank stare, before asking:] “...Burt Reynolds hot, or Sting hot?”

“YEAH I like clouds! I call them sky kittens :)” (I just think that one’s sweet!)

“Look, Christie, here’s the thing. When I first met you, I was just messing around. But we’ve gotten so close that, now... I really like you! I can’t keep this up anymore. I’m not the person you think I am. I’ve been pretending since the day I met you. It’s so hard having to constantly cover my tracks to keep my story straight... and I don’t WANT to anymore! I’m tired of living this lie! I’m done with it. I’m sorry.”

he catfishes some guy to blackmail him, but is implied to continue the flirtation even after the catfishing/blackmail is revealed

reese is, technically, married to a man. this particular plot point is played as a joke and manages to be both racist and homophobic, so I won’t go into it. but I believe he is still married to that man. technically.

reese takes care of a huge box full of caterpillars until they pupate and become beautiful butterflies. I feel like there’s some kind of gay coming out metaphor here somewhere.

I think there are a couple other times where he comments on a guy’s attractiveness but I couldn’t find specific instances.

In conclusion: Reese is a deeply repressed gay kid who was socialized SO thoroughly as an early 2000′s straight boy that, despite his attraction for men and his obvious compulsory heterosexuality, he still cannot admit to himself that he is gay even as he enters adulthood. Furthermore, his subconscious frustration about this fact is turned outward to form the “schoolyard bully” costume he uses to mask his insecurities and keep others from getting too close to him. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I could be convinced to come back for another talk about how Dewey is trans or about how each and every member of that family is neurodivergent in entirely different ways. Assuming anyone has read this far in the first place!!

[twelfth-harbinger]

Kaeya fluff headcanons please??

A/n: So I clearly can’t read lmao. This came out as a scenario instead of headcanons lol I will post Kaeya headcanons shortly after this 🤣 Please enjoy this fluffiness.

Mentions: Kaeya being suggestive bc he’s Kaeya. Diona having ridiculously good hearing because she’s basically a cat.

Warnings: None this is funny & fluffy.

The In’s & Outs

“I think it’s about time I show you the in’s and outs of the city of Monstadt. I’m sure you know quite a bit already, given your keen intellect. However, there must be something I can show you that you haven’t seen or..tasted, just yet.”

Kaeya’s smile is bright & charming — everything about him is alluring, right down to the glimmer of playfulness in his icy pale bright eyes. After sight seeing, he takes you to the Cats Tail. He didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into anyone he was too familiar with at Angel’s Share. Diluc.

Charles is a great bartender and all but, Diona literally has the skills to make your tastebuds dance with ecstasy. It makes you wonder if she’s really trying to bring down Monstadt’s wind industry. She may deplore alcohol itself but, even she knows how to make a great drink. Kaeya sat down with you at one of the rounded tables of the Cat’s Tail. As you take your seat across from him, he simply stares your way. As if he’s trying to study you the same way Mona scrys the stars.

“You are extraordinary.” He thought out loud, witnessing your blush first hand was a treat indeed. He moved to raise a hand to his chest giving a not so apologetic smile. “If I may be so bold, it’s just reading you is quite the task in itself.” His chuckle melting in the bustle of the Cat’s Tail. His left eye lowered a bit in admiration of your sweet smile. Your lips were so full and the air around you smelled enticingly sweet. He wasn’t sure if he should put that into words in fear of sending you on your way and away from his side.

“Kaeya?” A random patron of the Cat’s Tail, he recognized that melodic voice anywhere. So much to not running into a familiar face. A bard, a beautiful one that Kaeya had to charm as soon as he saw them. You looked their way and smiled happily. They didn’t smile at you, in fact they ignored you and spoke again. “Did you come to hear me sing today?” They asked with a soft smile on their gorgeous face. Kaeya looked at you, who paid no heed to any of the tension that sat in the air like an elephant sitting on a top hat. He was undoubtedly grateful for your somewhat oblivious nature.

“No.” He spoke, seeing as it was best not to lie to this bard. He gestured to you who he wanted them to acknowledge. “I’m with this lovely individual right here. Showing them the in’s and out of the city of Monstadt. It’s pleasure to see that you’re doing well and still singing.” He complimented them and they looked over at you who sipped idly on a drink made by Diona. You looked over at Diona who was “minding” her business. She thought it was all amusing and her tail flicked behind her as she idly cleaned a glass. The bard blushed deeply as she heard his words. They must’ve thought he’d disregard you and pay attention to them. Kaeya would never.

“I-I see well, when you get bored you know where to find me.” With a huff they turned, leaving you alone with Kaeya. He was glad that moment of awkwardness was over. He looked back at you, seeing you drink form the straw in your glass. It was cute, you were cute.

“I apologize, for that...I was quite fond of their music and sound.” He was going to joke about how they couldn’t get enough of him but he didn’t want to sound like a sleaze.

“You slept with them?” You asked curiously sipping on your drink. Kaeya nearly spit out his own. He quietly stared at you, looking you over to see if he should answer it. He nodded, blush tinting his dark cheeks; a bit embarrassed by the abrupt question. Diona was thoroughly invested in this conversation though, of course she didn’t show it as she served a drink to one of her loyal customers. “Do you want to sleep with me? Is that why you asked me out?” You asked, Kaeya sat there frozen in his seat. He was usually the one doing the interrogation. He thought you were oblivious before but, you were definitely the sharpest tool in the shed.

“That’s not...all...” He trailed off, feeling like he got caught red handed. Or maybe he was a bit offended by the fact that was what you thought of him. Kaeya couldn’t blame you though, if he wasn’t the definition of a flirt he didn’t know what was. He wasn’t going to lie to your face, mainly because he did have genuine feelings for you and you’d also see through it in a heartbeat. You smiled at him, his eye went wide as you flashed him that teasing smile. He didn’t realize it but, he was indeed falling for you. With every passing minute he spent with you the deeper in love he would tumble.

“I’m teasing you Kaeya.” You finally say, it was what he needed to hear. He wasn’t sure how he could answer that question without sounding coy. It had been quite some time since he had difficulty reiterating his feelings towards someone. Something about you drew him in like a moth to a flame. “I’m having fun tonight. I like being with you. Finally melting that charming and icy visage you sport to effortlessly.” You spoke with a smile that warmed his heart. He enjoyed getting to know you too. Your personality was utterly stunning.

“You know, you’re the only one to make my silver tongue not so silver.” He chuckled and you followed suit, he liked hearing you laugh and your smile was breathtaking. “Albeit, you make me smile like no other.” Your eyes lit up when he said that, he took pride in making you blush. You purse your lips together as you sip from the straw.

“Do I, do...other things to you too, Kaeya?” You asked, sheepishly your blush deepening as you stared to the side; finding it quite difficult to keep eye contact now. Kaeya’s cool expression faltered yet again and he fought the blush that threatened to flush his cheeks. It took quite a bit of willpower not to turn table talk into pillow talk. Simply because it was habitual. It’s a good thing he was something of a romantic right?

“Of course you do, more than you know.” He laughed a bit awkwardly as he sighed out. “In fact, every time I see you my chest tightens.” You looked at him a little alarmed, he gave you a reassuring smile your concern was fairly cute. “In a way that leaves me wanting to see your smile everyday.” He said, your eyes flicker with a bit of awe not expecting to hear that. He went on, now was a good a time as any to confess his feelings for you. “Showing you around the city of Monstadt has made me realize that today. It was initially a ploy to get you to go out with me but, I wanted you to feel at home in my home.” The more he talked the more difficult it became to say anything else. He decided to stop right there, especially when it rewarded him, he got to see that smile again; it was otherworldly. “You’re so beautiful..” He thought out loud again, the comment made you blush and your smile widen. He couldn’t stop the deep red blush from tinting his own cheeks.

“Kaeya, I don’t know what to say. You’ve...made my night.” He wanted to really make your night, but alas, he thought against saying something that would ruin the moment. “You’ve been very sweet to me, ever since I’ve returned from Liyue. It almost made me think you had ulterior motives.” Kaeya laughed a bit and his head tilted a little as you eyed him.

“I’m hurt you would think that I only want to get into your pants.” He spoke, a playful glint in his eye. You roll your eyes a bit as you sip your drink with a smile.

“Don’t you?” You quipped, Kaeya chuckled he wasn’t going to deny it. Which made it all the more amusing to you both.

“I’d actually like to take you out again.” He changed the subject rather smoothly, only because if he didn’t he knew he’d say something lewd. “Tomorrow for breakfast at Sara’s.” He flashed a charming smile your way, as you opened your mouth to speak Diona came and dropped two tankards in front of you both. She placed a hand on her hip, her tail waving back and forth.

“Alright love birds. If you’re gonna go out for breakfast tomorrow you better come here! These are on the house, if it’ll get you two to come back.” She grinned, Kaeya realizing she heard everything sat there trying play it cool. You laughed and picked up the new drink. Diona wasn’t going to have her customers get away from her that easily.

“As long as you’re cooking Diona, we’ll be here. Right Kaeya?” You asked, accepting his invitation. His smile was bright as you reassured him. He was going to have you at his side for as long as you’d have him.

“That’s right Diona, so cook us something nice!”

[thedeadflag]

I’m so confused! I know it’s not your responsibility to educate me but in your post bringing awareness to the negative aspects of g!p fanfic you say

“Why do these g!p characters rarely if ever involve experiences reflective of trans/intersex women? Why are they so utterly cis and perisex-washed? Why do nearly all writers have zero idea that tucking is a thing? “

Doesn’t that answer your original question? The reason they don’t reflect those groups of ppl is bc g!p isn’t trying to represent those groups of people or else it WOULD be transphobic to limit them to one specific fetish right? it just refers to a canonically female character with the addition of a penis (I don’t argue the name “g!p” should be changed bc that’s a no brainer why that could be offensive). But the fanfic in general, how could it be harmful? I’ve noticed in my time reading it as a non binary person it’s given me great gender euphoria reading a reader insert where reader has a penis while being a femme representing person just bc that’s a reflection of my personal experience. I don’t see anywhere where g!p fanfic ever references or tries to emulate the experiences of trans or intersex people so how could it be offensive?

Sorry this is way too long I’m just very confused

I'm going to try and lay this out as politely as I can. It's after 3:30 in the morning here, so this could be a bit disjointed and rambling. More under the cut:

In real life, ~99.999999% of women with penises are trans women. Which puts us in a tricky situation of (A) being the only women with penises around for media involving women with penises to reflect back on, and (B) being in the lovely position of precious few people actually having had meaningful real life exposure to trans women, meaning (C.) all those stigmas and all that misinformation are going to purely affect us and it’s going to be uncritically gobbled up by the masses, since they don’t have any meaningful information to fill in the blanks with instead.

When we peer into the depths of femslash fandoms and see all these folks who aren't trans women writing about women with penises, and using cis women’s bodies as platforms for these penises, it’s the simplest thing.

I mean, some of those folks might actually be struggling and confused about why they’re into it, what the real appeal is, why they get off on it, why they might have some feelings about wanting a penis of their own…

…but from our vantage point, it’s really easy to gauge 99.99% of the time. We can generally see valid, legitimate yearning to have a penis pretty damn easily in a piece of art/writing, and we can also see when people who create this media are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization.

And 99.9% of the time, the creators are just hung up on a boatload of baggage and fetishization, and see trans women’s bodies as a perfect vehicle to tap into that, generally due to deeply held cissexist views that link us and our bodies and genitals directly to cis men, to maleness. As if penises are rooted in maleness and masculinity (which is absolutely not true).

And I have sympathy for NB folks (certainly TME ones who have reached out to me in the past about this) who might be struggling with that, but just because they’re non-binary, it doesn’t mean they get to appropriate our bodies and reproduce transmisogyny and trans fetishization in their attempts at feeling better. Shit doesn't work like that.

Because again, the only women with penises in this world, essentially, are trans women. Meaning any woman with a penis in media is a trans woman, implicitly or explicitly. Meaning that when people who aren’t us want to write us, intent doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if it’s just the writer’s fantasy, it’s still going to attach a variety of messages directly onto us.

And more often than not, due to cissexism, those messages are linking us to maleness, to toxic masculinity, etc..

While I do want to believe they're a fairly small minority, a lot of NB folks in fandom spaces like g!p characters in part because they see penises as male and the rest of the body as female and think that duality is interesting and would be comfortable, and is a nice balance of “both worlds” or a nice position “between male and female”, but that’s a wholly cissexist, transmisogynistic view to have, and it’s one that absolutely cannot be supported without directing sexual violence against trans women and invalidating our entire existence. Certainly not all NB folks into g!p like it for that reason, but holy shit a fair bit of them do and it’s weird and wrong and fetishistic.

g!p emerged from the idea that women can't have penises, and drew on the transmisogyny and cissexism of tr*nny porn to structure that frame of desire and the core patterns and trends within these works. It's always been trans women's bodies being used as a vehicle, whether or not the writers of these fics are explicitly aware of it, because the trope itself still holds true to its original patterns and cissexism. It's not the name that's the problem, it's the content; changing the name would be a surface level change that wouldn't affect anything.

g!p objectifies women with penises (trans women). A woman with a penis is more than just a woman with a penis, but the use of the term and trope is literally to (A) remind people that women don't have penises, otherwise the g!p term wouldn't be needed if people actually accepted women with penises as women, and that (B) this is a story centered on a scenario where there's a woman with a penis, with key focus on that genitalia specifically. it's the drawing point, it's the lure, it's what everything is centered on. It is a means for folks to write lesbian sex while also writing about penis in vagina and getting off to it. It's also no surprise that the penises so clearly emulate cis men's penises in these works, that is by design.

As I’ve said many times before, if you’re only writing trans women’s bodies to showcase cis men’s penises, you’re not respecting the womanhood of trans women, and this ultimately has nothing inherent to do with penis-owning women, it has to do with (cis) men and their penises, because trans women are just being used as a vehicle to emulate them. When NB folks do the same thing, and imagining themselves as those g!p characters, they are ultimately embodying cis men, their maleness, and often toxic masculinity, in a way that feels safe and distanced enough for them, a shell that they often code as cisnormative due to their own unprocessed cissexism.

And trans women don’t deserve that.

You seem caught in the idea that if something doesn't directly perfectly reflect trans women, that it can't be linked to us., which ignores the long long history of media being used to misrepresent marginalized peoples and cast us in insulting, dehumanizing lights. You show a lack of understanding of the g!p trope and the long history of its usage across a few other names, even if the content and patterns remained the same. It shows a lack of understanding of tr*nny porn and transmisogynistic stigmas, which the trope draws heavily from.

I think we can all recognize that most 'lesbian' prn that's made does not represent actual lesbians, it's overwhelmingly catered to the male gaze. We can also recognize that this category of porn has led to a lot of harassment towards lesbians from cis men who at the very least want to believe lesbians are just like they are in the porn he watches, that lesbians just need the right man. Lesbians are being used as a vehicle for a fantasy that was created externally to them, and doesn't represent their realities.

It's the same kind of situation here. The way g!p fics play out overwhelmingly doesn't reflect trans women's realities, but they are inherently linked to us regardless, as we're the vehicles for those fantasies, as unrealistic and harmful as they may be.

g!p characters are built in our fetishized image that’s based on a deeply cissexist misunderstanding of us, of the gender binary, and of bodies in general.

I mean, when 99% of cis folks don’t understand how trans women tend to be sexually intimate… when they don’t understand what dysphoria is and how it works and how it can affect us physically and emotionally…when they don’t understand almost any of our lived experiences…then they’re not going to be able to accurately portray us even if they wanted to.

And I’ve read enough g!p fics where authors wrote those as a means of trying to add trans rep, but because they didn’t understand us at all, it wasn’t remotely representative, and it was ultimately fetishistic, even if there was an undercurrent of sympathy and a lack of following certain common g!p patterns there that differentiated it from the norm.

If g!p fics were at all about reducing dysphoria or finding euphoria, then it wouldn’t be explicitly tied up in the performance of very specific sex acts, very specific forms of misogyny and toxic masculinity, very specific forms of sexual violence and exertion of sexual power, etc.

But it is.

So the notion that creating g!p fics helps NB folks? Nope. It CAN certainly prevent/delay those folks from facing a whole boatload of shit they’ve internalized, and coddle them at the expense of trans women.

Because if it was really about bodies and dysphoria/euphoria, there would be a considerable push (allying with out own) to end our fetishization and to represent us in and out of sexual contexts with accuracy, respect, and care. Because they wouldn’t care what sex acts were performed and what smut beats were hit, they’d just want to see someone with a body like their ideal being loved, being sexual, connecting, being authentic, etc. Which very much is not the case in the overwhelming majority of g!p fics. That's what we want, and it's not what g!p writers want, it's nothing they give a shit about.

Like, a ways back I started doing random pulls of g!p fics from various fandoms and assessing them for certain elements to provide some quantitative clarity. I started on The 100 here, and did OuaT here. Never finished the 100 one since the results leveled out and stayed pretty consistent as the sample size grew, so I didn't really see the point in continuing any further after about 140 fics when the data wasn't really changing much at all.

Lastly, media influences people. I've read countless posts and comments from people who use fanfiction as a sex ed guide, in essence. Which is ridiculous, but I also know sex ed curricula often isn't very accurate or extensive in a lot of areas, so people take what they can get. Representation in media can be powerful, and when it overwhelmingly misrepresents people, that's also powerful. Just because fandom is a bit smaller than televised media, it doesn't make that impact any lesser, certainly not for those whose primary media intake is within fandom.

Virtually all trans representation in f/f fanfiction is misrepresentative of us. That has a cost in how people understand us, how people react to us, and how people treat us. Not just online, but in physical spaces, and in intimate settings.

I invite you to read that post you referenced again, or perhaps this longer one which is a response to a trans guy who seemed to feel something similar to you with this trope.

All I can do is lay it out there and try to explain this. It's up to you how you handle this. All I know is whenever there's a big surge in g!p in a fandom, trans women generally leave it en masse, because it's a very clear and consistent message that we're not valued, respected, and that people value getting off on us over finding community with us.