#also the achievement for not dying once...

[doveywovy]

izuna trapped in a groundhog day scenario after tobirama kills him like in canon, and at first he assumes it's just a matter of being the one to kill tobirama instead.

but that doesn't work- and he tries it multiple times, right? at least 10 loops he wastes on being the one to kill Tobirama and bring the Uchiha to victory. He wastes even more assuming it's a matter of needing total victory. Of killing all the Senju, of getting them to admit defeat, every variation he can think of. None of it breaks the loop.

So then he tries to grant his brother's peace. Maybe that's what this is about? ending the cycle of violence? Feels deeply wrong but fine, he'll try it. It takes him a horrific number of tries- and an astounding number of deaths- but eventually he figures out how to not-kill tobirama while also not-dying while also somehow convincing the Senju to make peace.

The loop restarts. He tries again. The loop restarts. He tries again. At a certain point, he starts to forget what it was like to live outside the loop. He starts to worry he'll break it and then immediately die, because his instincts when it comes to death are extremely fucked. He starts to struggle in his interactions with the people around him- he can't relate to their viewpoint. He can't comprehend their concerns. He's broken them down into puzzle pieces, into parts of his steps to achieve something, and he can't put them back into being 'people' in his brain.

The loop restarts. He stops trying. He starts doing whatever he wants. There's no consequences if he skips out on the battle for the day to spend it learning how to play the zither- no real consequences. His painting improves. He can carry a note for once. He learns a bit about weaving, about sealing, about infrastructure. The loop restarts. The loop restarts. The loop restarts. He learns about the Uchiha religion- none of it entails what he's been trapped in.

He gives up. He's mastered all his hobbies, indulged every interest, there's nothing left to learn or experience that he can feasibly manage in the time span he's got. He does nothing.

The loop restarts.

[roachfun]

This is probably a wild thing to get but your “Gojo should stay dead” post has got my unmedicated ass vibrating.

(I’ve only read jjk0, besides that literally all of my exposure has been via 3 video essays and fanfic… I basically got into the series backwards and tbh it’s an interesting experience…)

And tbh I agree with you more than not. Even though the view I have of the character is so fucking warped because jjk fanfic is too the gills filled with smut.

Because what I’ve gathered from the video essays and the few bits of fanfics that actually tried getting into his mind… is that the man is gd tired.

A god complex the size of the sun, that’s only ever been challenged once by one of the few people he ever formed a genuine connection with, and it was challenged as that person was leaving him. That incident may have motivated him to change, but that change was predominantly if not exclusively external, he didn’t really do much self reflection.

After Geto left, Gojo did better (became a teacher, warding Megumi, not letting Yuta be executed) but he didn’t work on being better (god complex, recklessness, belief that his way is the only way with no real consideration for the effects those decisions have on others)

He’s selfish, arrogant, and reckless, he doesn’t seem to take much of anything seriously and that may be a persona (again, I haven’t actually read jjk yet… the ending of mha did the characters, narrative, and audience so gd dirty I need to know how jjk ends so I set my expectations accordingly) but I can very much see this man never really developing his sense of empathy because he never really had any stakes… like he has some understanding, but the god complex and the fact people around him constantly reinforce it… he can’t put himself in other people’s shoes, there’s a detachment from reality that would read as delusional for anybody else, but he has spent his entire life being told he is the strongest with nothing ever being able to prove him wrong.

Than on the flip side of that god complex, honestly for a good while, and still sorta kinda… to me he reads as passively suicidal. (I know “Word of God” can be controversial regarding character analysis because of its absence in the base text) but the fact Gege’s rough rundown of Gojo’s daily schedule was basically “he sleeps for about 3 hours and spends the rest of his time working, his sweet tooth is actually somewhat practical as he uses sugar as a stimulant.” That’s not good for your noggin. Add the isolation caused by his status and his god complex, I see him coming to the conclusion that the only way he should die, is in battle.

And he did! Even if wasn’t in the “final sacrifice that ensures he becomes a legend” sort of way I think he would’ve hoped for.

But that also felt… right? (Certainly not fair, Gege openly admitting he kills off fan favorites for the shock value does dampen the possible emotional impact that could’ve been achieved… but I digress)

Every time Gojo fights, and I mean properly fights, he’s smiling, it’s a game to him, a chance to show off, to assert his dominance and reaffirm his status… so him dying so suddenly that his legs are still standing as his upper half falls to the floor, he’s lying there choking on his own blood as he bleeds out and Sukuna saying it “cleared his skies” (weird phrasing, but I think that’s a cultural/translation thing) it could’ve been a gut punch of a tragedy that amped up the stakes of the final conflict! The protagonists’ trump card is gone in a handful of panels and a flick of the wrist! He’s bleeding out on the ground as the big bad seems to reach a moment of genuine inner peace! But the backtracking and Gege’s history lessened that significantly

tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that Shonen Jump had something to do with it… the motivations for Gege’s writing choices are questionable to me (it feels spiteful and cheap) but they’ve been consistent until now, what changed?

Anyway it is… 5:45 am… I should be asleep, but I’m here vomiting character analysis based on partial information in your inbox… I hope you have a good day/night/whatever is appropriate for when you receive this

I hate that you had me read all that, but I couldn't agree more with most that you said (except maybe where you call him selfish and I lowk think geges killing system is fair and I like it a lot but🤷).

Anyways, I don't know how to really respond to this since you basically did all the talking lol (plus I'm tired from reading all that and just got out of school).

I do have a question tho. how did you start with jjk0??? Like how does something like that happen. Also you haven't watched the anime or anything😭???

Anyways, thanks for dropping this essay on me have a good day/night or life in case we never speak🩵

[difty-dift]

What is your opinion on Rothari (from KNACK 2)?

He's cute :3 I've always liked the bigger goblins

he's a bit more compelling than Gundahar (in Knack 2 at least) and I like his contention with the green meanie and his more put together presence. Though he does suffer from Knack villain writing and doesn't stay as long as he should imo

Awesome name tho~

[beatcroc]

what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?

<

---

[themidnightcircusshow]

Hi I went through your Catherine tag and found myself cracking up over the tags on this post, specifically these

#they probably loved or at least were fond of each other#(still soft over him sending lyre players to her)#but romance just doesn't seem to be in his nature

I don't know what's funnier. The idea that Hal has an absolutely deranged romantic nature where he's just, "babe I'm cold can I open your ribcage and snuggle in there please?" and "babe if I die, I want you to cannibalise me. At least a little bit." which is something he knows is deranged and would ever dare say to Catherine (he saves it for Courtenay). Or, the idea that he's just not romantic but he knows a good king is a good husband and goddamit he's going to nail this so it's like. an intense study session where he's reading all the courtly romances (getting into the debates about The Romance of the Rose and What Women Want) and Catherine just ends up being... totally bemused by his technically perfect display of courtly romance because no one actually does that, Hal, it's weird...

I feel like Hal would probably direct most of his unhinged energy at his family (if he'd been alive in the Victorian era he probably would have kept a locket of Mary's hair or something. And he brings "Can I die for you? Please let me die for you" energy to his brothers. And Henry, but Henry keeps playing. Love is asking your father to murder you). I kinda love the image of him treating Courtenay the same, but Courtenay is a normal human (he's not, they're just different levels) who keeps getting Concerned and Hal doesn't want Concerned he's just being a regular guy who behaves a regular way.

So instead he starts taking notes on How to Be a Normal Person In Love. And if he goes a bit over the top that's fine. Hey a lot of Courtly Love is about me dying for you can I die for you

[grasslandgirl]

OHHHHH KARNA LOVE CONFESSION LETTER IS SOSOSOOOOO GOOD. YEAH I CAN FUCK WITH THAT SO MUCH. KARNA ON HER DEATH BED MAKING SAVING THROWS GETTING CARRIED OUT OF THE MYCELLIUM AND THE CAVES FIRST BY DELI AND THEN WHEN HE STARTED STUMBLING, OVERTAKEN BY THE POISON, CARRIED BY COLIN; OUT INTO THE WSRM LIGHT OF THE BULB SHE DIDNT BELIEVE IN. KARNA WHO BARELY MANAGES TO GET STABILIZED BETWEEN THE WOUNDS AND THE POISON AND HER OWN ROT BUT SHES BREATHING. BARELY. LAYING ON THE GROUND BLEEDING AND PALE FROM THE POISON AND THE ROT AS THEY ALL TRY TO CATCH THEIR BREATH AND AMANGEAUX CASTS A LITTLE SOMETHING BUT IT DOESNT HELP MUCH BC KARNA IS SO POORLY OFF AND THEY FINALLY MANAGE TO GET HER BACK TO THE ENCAMPMENTS AND FIND A BULBIAN CLERIC OF SOME KIND (that deli threatens, voice shaking, hand empty without his long-abandoned spear, eyes red and bloodshot and colin hovering like a ghost at his shoulder, into silence and compliance despite karna's unnatural poisoning and the rot overtaking her body- clear evidence of the hungry one) THAT MANAGES TO HELP STABILIZE KARNA A LITTLE MORE BUT SHES STILL OUT. STILL UNCONSCIOUS. AND THEY ALL SIT AT HER BEDSIDE, LISTEN TO HER FAINT RATTLING BREATHS. AMANGEAUX NEVER LETS GO OF HER HAND AND DELI CAN'T BRING HIMSELF TO LOOK AWAY AND ALL THREE OF THEM REMEMBERING THE MISSING MEMBER OF THEIR GROUP WHOM THEY COULDN'T GET BACK OUT OF THE CAVES AND. AND EVENTUALLY COLIN TELLS DELI TO GO BACK TO HIS CAMP AND REFRESH HIMSELF AND CHANGE OUT OF THE DUSTY SPORES-COVERED ARMOR, STILL BLOODY FROM BATTLE, AND THATS WHEN DELI FINDS THE LETTER KARNA LEFT FOR HIM. AND. AND. AAUGHGGUGGG. DELI WHO WAS BETRAYED BY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LOST ARIANA AND THEN ALMOST LOST KARNA AND COLIN WHO'S THERE BESIDE HIM BUT SO COLD AND SO LOST AND DELI IS. AUGHGRUG. THERES SOMETHING HERE AND MAYBE ITS JUST FOR ME BUT ITS HERE.

[lord-shitbox]

Beating Hollow Knight Steel Soul: A Guide

part 1: general tips!

if you're about to die hit esc/pause and quit to menu

[arabian-batboy]

If a war between Iran and Israel really will emerge it will not just be Iranians who will suffer, but every country in the region will be somewhat involved, which includes some nations that are already declared as one of the poorest, most war-torn and starved nations in the world. All of whom all be completely unprotected while Israel wreak havoc on their citizens (excluding those who live in puppet-states aligned with the US) with full-support and funding from the US and other Western superpowers to ensure that no matter happens, their influence and interests in the Middle East will not be lost and they'e willing to sacrifice the lives of as many non-Israeli civilians as they want to in order to achieve their goal.

This is one of the reasons they implanted this cancerous tumor called Israel in our region, to act as military base that cause instability and state-sponsored terrorism in the area so that it would be easier for them to exploit these failed-states that surround it and the best part is? All they have to do to maintain this military base is give them a couple billions and some weapons yearly so that those blood-lust Zionist settlers can do all the dirty work for them, that's NOTHING compared to the costs and casualties of other wars that had the US be directly involved in like Vietnam or Iraq or Afghanistan (off the record; but that's exactly why they're using Saudi Arabia to indirectly destroy Yemen, they learned their lesson, its always better to use a proxy.)

If a war breaks out? The US will not be in any real danger, because they're half-way across the world and all the fighting will be in West Asia and North Africa, far away from them. No American building is in danger of being destroyed, no American city is under the threat of being bombed, the average American citizen will not be in any danger and can just continue living their life like normal, hence why they're always the first ones to start making those WW3 memes, because they're not the ones in danger of dying.

This is precisely why the US's imperialism in the Middle East hasn't slowed down in decades, because they do not suffer any negative consequences from it. All the destruction and casualties they cause is inflicted solely on the native people and the native people only, for the US, they only have things to gain from these wars, whether it was stolen resources or more instability that will further their control and influence in the area.

The US, like every single oppressive empire in history, will not suddenly grow a conscious over-night and immediately halt all their wrongdoings simply because they don't want the innocent people in other countries to suffer anymore. The only way to stop their imperialism is to have them believe that its not worth it anymore, to have the cons of being involved in our region out-weight the pros.

Because at the moment if the only cons here are "innocent Muslims will die"? Then those motherfucking colonizers will NOT stop, they will only stop once it reaches a point where its also the colonizers who are dying alongside the native population and the first step for that to happen is to dismantle this giant settler-colony built square in the middle of our region and forcing these Western Superpowers to choose between continuously spending trillions of dollars to maintain their interests directly or to fucking leave us alone already and save those trillions for something else.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

One where Theo decides to share you with his friends for night letting them achieve have a turn while he’s teasing you the whole time and when they all leave he takes you for one more round claiming you as his (I’d melt for this man) 🤗🫠

I hope this works! Thank you!

The Only One

Theodore Nott x F!Reader

Warnings: Gang bang basically, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, oral(male receiving), cream pie.

18+ Minors DNI

You don’t even remember how this all started. You just know Theo’s sat behind you while you laid back on him, his hands holding your legs apart while he kisses your neck. His friends are taking turns fucking you. Theo warned you not to cum, even while his hands explored you, teasing your nipples, playing with your clit, your own hands holding onto his thighs.

First was Lorenzo, sweet talking and praising you while he fucked your pussy. Theo gave your clit a harsh slap when he could see how close you were before Lorenzo pulled out and came on you.

Next was Blaise, his thrusts were a little harsher while he complimented you. Theo was whispering in your ear about how good you’re doing, but also how horrible it’ll be if you cum before his turn. You were trying to focus on his words rather than Blaise so you don’t orgasm. Blaise finally pulled out and came on you as well, his cum mixing with Lorenzo’s.

Theo moved you to prop on all fours, Draco moving in front of you to have you take his cock in your mouth while Mattheo positioned himself behind you to fuck your cunt. Mattheo and Draco were praising you for taking them so well while Theo was watching, this time telling you how much of a slut you are for eagerly taking two cocks at once. That was making it really difficult not to cum while Mattheo was fucking you roughly, forcing you down on Draco’s dick. Draco came in your mouth and Mattheo came on your back.

Covered in cum and exhausted, you collapsed on the bed while Theo forced everyone out.

“You like being fucked by all my friends?” Theo asked as he climbed onto the bed with you, turning you on your back. “Like me watching you get fucked and not letting you cum? See the control I have on you, even when I’m not the one fucking you?” He gently caressed your cheek.

You gave a nod as you stared up at him.

“Don’t tell me they fucked you so dumb you can’t even answer.” He tsked, his hands sliding down your body to push your legs to your chest.

“No, I can answer.” You said, shaking your head.

“Guess that lets me be the one to fuck you dumb, yeah?” He smirked, pushing his cock through your folds, coating it in your arousal. “Only I can fuck you dumb, huh?”

“Yes, Theo. You’re the only one.” You nodded, watching his dick lazily glide between your legs.

“You only cum on my cock, understand?” He asked.

“Yes.” You nodded again, biting your lip when his cock rubbed against your clit.

“Good girl.” He praised before pushing his dick into you, putting your legs onto his shoulders.

You moaned, gripping at the sheets below you as he bottomed out. He started thrusting, reaching around to grip the hair on the back of your head to pull your head back. The slight sting from him pulling your hair only made you moan louder.

“That’s right, cara mia. Only I can make you feel this good.” He said, finishing his sentence with his own moan. “You feel so good, principessa. Tell me how good I’m making you feel.” He said before kissing along one of your calves on his shoulder.

“It’s so good! You feel so good! Fuck!” You cried out.

“You finally ready to cum? I know you’ve been dying to all night, bella.” He said, tilting your head back up to look at him.

“Yes! Please! I need to cum, Theo!” You gave your best nod, eyes rolling back from the pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum, principessa.” He said, keeping his grip on your hair to keep you looking at him.

You came with a loud cry of his name, clawing at the sheets as he helped you finish it out.

“That’s it. Love how you scream my name, cara mia. Fuck!” He groaned, his own orgasm hitting him as he came deep inside you. “All fucking mine, right, bella?” He asked as he relaxed your legs back onto the bed.

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff

@ireallyneed-somesleep @soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem @motherfing-stargirl

@dracoslovergirl @littlemadamre @mattheoriddlesbitch

Let me know if you wanna be added!

[saphronethaleph]

The Deal

“Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi,” Palpatine said. “Learn to know the dark side of the Force, Anakin, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death.”

“What did you say?” Anakin asked.

“Use my knowledge, I beg you…” Palpatine pleaded.

“You’re a Sith Lord!” Anakin said.

He reached for his lightsaber, then paused.

“That story you told, about Darth Plagueis,” he said. “You mean – that was true? He really did discover a way to save people from death?”

“Yes, Anakin,” Palpatine agreed. “And I will-”

“So,” Anakin interrupted, frowning. “How do you know it? You said his apprentice murdered him in his sleep.”

“Because he taught everything to… his apprentice… before dying,” Palpatine explained.

“Again,” Anakin said, patiently. “How do you know it?”

“I was that apprentice!” Palpatine explained.

“So you killed your master in his sleep, and you ordered me to kill your apprentice, Dooku,” Anakin said. “You know, Chancellor, this isn’t a great job offer.”

“But think of what you have to gain, Anakin,” Palpatine said. “I can save your wife. Isn’t that what matters?”

“...yeah,” Anakin agreed, still frowning. “So when did Plagueis die?”

“About… fifteen years ago, now?” Palpatine said. “Maybe sixteen? Something like that. Why does that matter?”

“Just wanting to make sure I’ve got all the information, Chancellor,” Anakin replied. “Who have you been healing? Because I don’t actually think you’ve got any loved ones.”

He made a face. “Obi-Wan once took me aside and told me about what to look out for when an older man was going to try and touch me in the wrong way.”

“You see?” Palpatine asked. “He doesn’t trust you!”

“I see his point, though,” Anakin said. “Because you don’t have any loved ones that I can think of, like I say… so who have you been healing?”

Palpatine frowned.

“...why does that matter, Anakin?” he asked.

“Because it sounds like you learned how to do this at least fifteen years ago and you’ve never actually tried it,” Anakin clarified. “Which really sounds like you can’t do it, or even if you could before your medical license has expired.”

“I most certainly can!” Palpatine said, his patience fraying slightly. “Anakin, I am trying to help you!”

“Okay, then,” Anakin replied. “Teach me now.”

Palpatine made a face.

“If I do that, then how will I know you won’t betray me?” he said.

“...you’re saying that the only thing that would keep me from betraying you is if you don’t teach me the healing technique,” Anakin said, nodding. “So you’ve got no reason to get around to teaching me. I know how to lure an Eopie, Chancellor.”

“It will take too long to teach you, anyway,” Palpatine declared. “We can’t do it tonight. It won’t fit.”

“You’re really trying to help me, huh?” Anakin said. “Because all the visions I’ve been having about my wife dying are about it happening soon…”

He stopped.

“Actually, how do you know about that? I don’t think I ever told you.”

“Oh, please, it’s obvious that you’re married-” Palpatine said, rolling his eyes.

“I mean about the certain death bit,” Anakin explained. “It’s a bit of a guess.”

He frowned, visibly thinking. “And, uh… okay, so what you’re saying is that… you’re a Sith, you want to take direct control of the Jedi, and that’s because of the war against the Separatists, who were led by Count Dooku. Who was your apprentice… and then for me, personally, you want me to turn to the Dark Side so you can teach me a healing technique you’ve never actually used yourself, while you’ve killed the last two people who worked directly with you the moment they were no longer useful to you.”

Palpatine looked pained.

“That’s a very negative attitude, Anakin,” he said.

“I want to make sure I’ve got all this straight, is all,” Anakin replied.

Mace Windu’s commlink beeped, in a specific pattern that indicated it was a member of the Council.

“Windu here,” he said, raising the device to his ear.

“Master, I quit,” Anakin told him. “Also I married Senator Amidala at the start of the war, Palpatine was the Sith Lord, and I’d quite like to sleep for a week at some point. I’ve had a very long day.”

“...what?” Mace asked, a bit overloaded himself.

“Like, I’m pretty sure my day has had the sun go down three times so far,” Anakin went on. “Also the Chancellor exploded when I killed him. It’s okay, he was shooting lightning at me, that makes it fair.”

[theminecraftbee]

Etho and Grian are back at base, hysterically laughing over their achievement. Cleo sits inside, staring, as the two of them talk about getting a wither and a warden to fight, and tries to figure out what she feels about it.

In some ways it's not their fault. Task made them do it and all that. Plus--

Well, it's not like she and Etho are losing hearts anytime soon. They've both done a damn good job keeping themselves from dying. A benefit, Cleo thinks, of deciding to team with Etho this time. Between the two of them, they'll largely only do chaos they can recover from. Maybe this is their game. Maybe this time, Cleo manages to stick with someone until the very end. It looks like it. It looks like...

Grian, of course, is the confounding factor.

She wasn't going to turn him away. He needed allies. They needed someone a bit better at actually doing damage than herself or Etho. It's mutually beneficial. And, besides, he's weirdly lovable, in an inherently kind of dangerous way. A little like loving a bobcat someone had accidentally raised as a pet cat until it got a bit too big and stinky and murdery for them. Like, yeah, he shouldn't be domesticated and he's not, really, in any sense of the word, but it's a bit sad to watch him try to survive on his own now, right?

Hah. Maybe that's what Scar managed to do to him. Would explain a lot, really.

Anyway, he's her bobcat now, which is the problem.

See the thing is: Cleo understands Etho. It's why finally deciding to be partners for once felt... right. They're similar flavors of people. Scared, mostly. Survivors, but not in the 'will stab anyone' way that like, Martyn is. Loyal, although Cleo has no delusions that Etho is as loyal as she. And scared. Has she already said that? Scared. It's important to the kinds of things she and Etho are. Like... mountain lions, maybe. Mountain lions that have been around just enough people to know how dangerous they are. Like that.

God, she's only doing cat metaphors. Bdubs really is turning them all into furries.

Anyway, the point is, Grian isn't scared.

And that... terrifies her.

That's scarier than anything else. Because, see, Cleo wants to survive. But more than that, she wants her partners to survive. And she and Etho, the two of them are doing well. Better than most people. They're green and they have so many hearts.

But Grian? Grian's yellow and not afraid and goading Etho into not being afraid too. It's not their fault, exactly, Cleo thinks. They both had hard tasks. They didn't have a choice, Cleo thinks.

But. But.

She doesn't know what to do, if Etho gets convinced the humans down the mountain aren't scary. She doesn't know what to do if he gets too close. She doesn't know what to do if he gets hurt.

Because she--she doesn't think she can learn to stop being scared, anymore.

But she also doesn't know how many times her heart can stand to lose someone.

Did you know--wild cats are social? They have a reputation for being loners, but mountain lions, they're social. They don't do well being alone. They don't actually hunt solely alone. That's the important bit here. They seem independent, sure, but actually...

Anyway. This is Bdubs's fault. For making her a furry, apparently.

She watches Grian and Etho scheme together and sits back and breathes and tells herself that Etho isn't going to stop being afraid anytime soon. That if push came to shove, he, at least, would retreat back, and that maybe the two of them could convince Grian to retreat too. Safe from hunters. Safe from red.

Maybe safe from hurting each other, too.

(She's not so sure about that part.)

[toffeecoco1]

@perpetualgrey's comment on this post

Ok my first instinct was to laugh, but then I realised you might be onto something???

Shen Yuan is LITERALLY an impostor, who’s more far more kind and beloved by Binghe than the original. The Guanyin pendant is a counterfeit, but it carries the love of Binghe’s mother and is far more precious than any real jade could ever be.

The heartbreak Binghe’s mother felt after realising that the Guanyin pendant was fake and she’d been tricked was part of what lead to the gradual decline of her health.¹ In wanting to do something kind for Binghe, she felt that she’d failed, and this led to her demise. What is Shen Qingqiu’s entire story, but trying to be kind to Binghe, feeling inadequate at this, and dying? (More than once!!)

Guanyin is a Bodhisattva associated with mercy, kindness, compassion and unconditional love. She is a patron of mothers, and is called upon in times of fear, uncertainty, and despair. The Bodhisattva she originated from is seen as a saviour, through whose grace even those with the most negative karma can achieve salvation. Even when she is not worshipped as a goddess, she is revered as the principle of love, compassion and mercy.² From wikipedia, “The act, thought and feeling of compassion and love is viewed as Guanyin. A merciful, compassionate, loving individual is said to be Guanyin.”²

The original Luo Binghe appears never to have lost his pendant. Shen Qingqiu tells us: “It was the only bit of warmth in Luo Binghe’s dark world, always by his side, and even in the future when he was at his darkest, it could summon up his last dregs of humanity.”¹ He also states that “it was Luo Binghe’s biggest berserk button.”¹

Our Luo Binghe does not cling to the pendant when he’s at his darkest: he clings to the love he has for his shizun and to memories of his kindness, and later, to the lifeless body of Shen Qingqiu himself. His biggest berserk button isn’t when people insult the pendant or his mother, or try to take it away; it’s Shen Qingqiu: when people insult him or try to take him away.

From the start, Shen Qingqiu expresses truly unconditional love for Binghe. He spends three years showing endless compassion and kindness, actions which feel insignificant to him but are more than enough to completely change Binghe’s life. He holds no blame or resentment for the things he fears Binghe will do to him; though he doesn’t want to be tortured, he forgives Binghe for it nonetheless, before it has even happened. He sacrifices himself to save Binghe as his mind is eaten away at by Xin Mo, when he believes that Binghe just slaughtered a hundred Huan Hua Disciples, when Binghe’s reckless use of the sword is putting countless more lives at risk.³

Shen Qingqiu is a counterfeit that is more precious than the original could ever be. For Binghe, he personifies kindness, compassion and unconditional love. His regrets over his treatment of Binghe lead to his temporary demise. Binghe clings to him in his darkest moments, and he is that which Binghe protects most fiercely.

I always found the pendant’s role in the story to be almost lacking: it’s treated as such an important item to Binghe, yet in the end its return is almost anticlimactic. But perhaps this is because the role the pendant played in Bing-ge’s story has been overtaken by Shen Qingqiu. When he returns the pendant, Binghe is relieved and appreciative: but his joy seems to stem more from the fact that Shen Qingqiu held onto it and cherished him than from the pendant itself. The pendant doesn’t matter all that much to him anymore, at least not compared to how important it seems to have been in PIDW. Binghe doesn't need an object to symbolize love and kindness; he has a person to love, who loves him back.

In conclusion: Shizun was in fact the fake jade Guanyin pendant all along!

sources cited below :)

1. Seven Seas Volume 1, Chapter 1: Scum. Pages 40-41.

2. “Guanyin,” Wikipedia. There’s a lot more to her than what I mentioned here, she’s quite interesting.

3. Seven Seas Volume 2, Chapter 8: Death. Pages 154-156.

[coldwind-shiningstars]

Dungeon Meshi is obviously primarily about food, eating, and crucially survival through eating, but it's also focused on other aspects of survival. Sleep, rest, social ties and social exclusion. There's even extensive commentary on things like personal grooming (Marcille’s hair, Toshiro becoming depressed and no longer shaving), clean bathrooms, and other things. When it comes to disability these things are referred to as instrumental activities of daily life (IADLs), which are more complex things like shopping, housework, and cooking, which people need to do to survive, and activities of daily life (ADLs) which are the basic bare bones needs: eating, toileting, etc. Dungeon Meshi is concerned with the logistics of living and finding joy in those logistics.

This is super related to disability! Yes, Laios is autistic, this has been apparent from the beginning. But what does being autistic mean for him and the story? Mostly, it means his desires, goals, and the ways he goes about achieving them are strange, foreign, or baffling. He has different priorities than other people and the way he expresses those priorities are strange. They affect how he socializes, how he eats…

So, it absolutely makes sense that there would be a minor sideplot about activities of daily living and what it's like to be out of sync with everyone else when it comes to prioritizing things. It's Mithrun Time (he's gonna mith all over the place) and I'm so SO interested in the interplay of disability, caregiving and the logistics thereof, and intersectionality & privilege. Who needs care? How do other people feel about them needing care? How do they receive that care? And who do we think is worthy of receiving care and how does that interact with all these other factors?

Bunch of manga and extras spoilers past the cut:

“So, what's wrong with you?”

I see a lot of people talking about Mithrun's non-eye disability as a depression allegory, which I think is true, but I think it's also metaphorically/symbolically both a traumatic brain injury and a trauma response to sexual assault. The sexual assault aspect is pretty clear if you look at any of the symbolism of the actual disabling event: just look at it.

Mithrun is lying in bed and the goat comes to him, lifts him up and puts its mouth on his abdomen and lower pelvis. The eating is sexually charged, as is the particular way he struggles and protests. It's intensely violating, and things that were once desirable are lost. And the dungeon lord group therapy session involves a lot of people talking about the demons like an abusive lover; Mithrun, even though he wanted to kill the demon so badly, still says that they're gentle.

As for the brain injury, chronic TBIs can cause a wide variety of symptoms. Some immediately relevant ones are anhedonia (lack of enjoyment), executive function issues, poor interoception (trouble understanding what's going on in your body), cognitive impairment affecting ability to reason/multitask/plan/solve problems, changes in behavior and personality, depression, agitation, and restlessness. We see… basically all of these, in Mithrun, as downstream effects of the loss of desires. He can't tell when he's hungry, tired, or out of mana; he can't perform ADLs consistently even if he knows he'll die without doing them and dying without doing them will interfere with his long-term goal, he had drastic personality changes, he oscillates between impatient and totally withdrawn.

Brain injuries can also affect more complex tasks and ability to sustain lengthy periods of complex cognitive work. A common example is losing the ability to read and process longer passages; maybe you can read the words but you can't read a paragraph, or maybe you can read paragraphs but now you get a migraine after 15 minutes. Mithrun's skill loss is not related to reading but the effect is similar – he is and was extremely skilled in a particular area of magic, but also disabled in ways that specifically hinder his skill in this area – to teleport things properly you need depth perception and a sense of direction, and he lacks both of these! And while he's still an incredibly effective fighter it seems like he pretty frequently makes those sorts of mistakes.

This is treated often as a gag and it is genuinely funny but it’s also very real, to no longer be as good at the thing you were good at before you became disabled. Kui takes several throwaway gags seriously later on, not just this one. Another ~gag that's not really elaborated on is the bathroom thing, but I appreciate its inclusion anyway, since even if it's presented humorously it doesn't feel meanspirited in a way a lot of “diaper jokes” do. I think people need to talk a lot more about bathroom issues in a wide variety of disabilities, and I think it's nice that a guy I can already picture the “poor little meow meow” posts about also has this issue, you know?

Preferences vs Desire

Even referencing PTSD and TBIs it's hard to really grasp what having no desires means, and the characters don't generally ask, while Mithrun explains it in vague terms. “Desires” is a very broad term and indeed he has lost access to a wide but related variety of things. Unfortunately this lead to him often being treated as nonagentic.

Mithrun does still have preferences, even if he doesn't express them and has no desire which would drive him to seek out pleasant things and avoid unpleasant ones. He'll comment on the taste and texture of foods, for example – sure seems like he has an opinion!

People treat it like his preferences don't matter since he doesn't usually bring them up unprompted, and he's often in situations where there aren't other options.

Kabru seems best at not doing this (and, noncoincidentally, also seems to be the best at actually caring for him; the Canaries have a lot more Resources theoretically than Kabru And Mithrun Eating Monsters And Kabru's A Bad Cook, but although they are loudly distressed by the two of them disappearing it seems to have positively affected Mithrun's general health)

But, uh, acknowledgement that someone has preferences at all is a really low bar to clear and Kabru also doesn't seem to fully understand how Mithrun's brain works. Mithrun’s caregivers want him to eat when they want him to eat. They want him to rest and drink when they want him to.

He lacks the desire for a number of mundane things but also seems to lack the ability to tell when he needs them. He can't explain why he faints; is “I am out of mana” considered a desire for more mana, one that can be eaten? He can't sleep on his own; it's not only that he lacks “the desire to go to bed” but he can't do anything with his own exhaustion, even if he notices it. He comments on the unpleasant taste and texture of several meals; he may be unable to want to not eat it, but he definitely can tell when he dislikes something. But he also seems to be unable to tell when he's hungry.

Kabru will acknowledge these preferences but there's not really other food options, and Everyone Must Eat. Kabru doesn't know the details of Mithrun's condition yet but you can see the immediate frustration here and the way he offers food to him like Mithrun's a child.

Sure, he won't directly communicate preferences, so that makes it extra hard, but you can always just ask, and if he tells you he tells you.

The pathway between opinion and taking actions about it may be lost in Mithrun but the dungeon forces other people into a similar position – it forces them to eat food they don't want to eat so that they can survive or accomplish other goals. We've seen this with Marcille from the beginning. It's difficult with Mithrun because it seems like there is always going to have to be some sort of someone else overriding his autonomy – yeah, he's not hungry but he still needs to eat or he'll faint. Yeah, he's lying about whether or not he's clean but he still needs to wash or he'll die. Yeah, he needs to take a rest instead of keeping moving or he'll faint. But he's not unique in being in a situation where he has to do nonpreferred things. The difference is more that he lacks the ability to independently do anything when it comes to ADLs, preferred or not, which makes it into someone else’s choice and responsibility.

There's also a theme in Dungeon Meshi that comes up a bit of people being pushy about ADLs but from a slightly different perspective, and they're usually right. You see this in Senshi most commonly; he pushes the residents of the Golden City to actually eat even if they don't need to and can't taste it, and while he's correct in that Yaad does get enjoyment from the food even without taste he's still not quite listening to Yaad. Similarly, Kabru is correct in that he can get Mithrun to sleep without a sleeping spell, but he also ignores the way Mithrun says several times that he doesn't expect massage to work. There's a few aspects to this – wild but expected that the elves would choose the “just knock him out with a spell” route, the “easy way” Senshi always talks about when it comes to magic, instead of actually paying attention to other solutions. But also, generally, people know their bodies best, and sometimes even if you're really sure you have the trick to help them you have to listen to what they tell you.

tvtropes dot org frontslash DisabilityTropes

This is going to be a harder section just because it's so subjective; it's nearly impossible to think about the ways in which disabled people are viewed by the people around them/wider society with any degree of objectivity just because there are so many factors that go into it. But I do think Mithrun is consistently treated as relatively nonagentic and there are several ways this can manifest: being treated as a doll/pet/child, being treated as a weapon, and being a surface for people to project onto.

He's framed or treated as childlike intermittently through the manga; scattered about, just a little vibe in the way he's drawn, like the "say aah" above and Pattadol and Cithis through the teleportation scroll :

That's a middle aged man! And he's framed like a toddler getting picked up or misbehaving.

Which doesn't mean they care about him any less; his squad is really fond of him for someone who's technically like their parole officer. How dare you do this to our captain! They love him dearly; this is obvious and he comments on it! They respect him, too, as the leader and as a strong fighter. But loving someone and thinking they're a skilled fighter doesn't mean you respect their autonomy fully.

There's also an element of everyone projecting their own issues onto him; Kabru with their shared Dungeon Trauma. The canaries all suggesting wacky, midlife-crisis desires. He doesn't ever express that he minds any of this, except when they try to stop him from making particular decisions. They also don't often understand why he'd be motivated to do a particular thing, and in fact some of these projections may actually be correct! But while noodles and pottery may be good later-on goals for him, I think it's striking that a) Kabru was the closest to correctly guessing what desire Mithrun might acquire now and he was still guessing the exact opposite (suggesting a desire to not eat Falin but to help Laios, vs Mithrun's actual desire, which was to eat Falin with no thought given to the promise he made at all) and b) it's a desire that actually makes perfect sense with what we know about him, not something totally new.

And, finally, he's a weapon: people are willing to caretake him because he's good at killing things dead. If his only desire is to kill demons dead, it's easy to start seeing that as who he is. I don't think he'd argue that “trying to kill demons” takes up the majority of his life (it's his only goal and he's obsessed with it) but even if there's only one thing that matters to him he has autonomy (in the sense that he can make his own choices about what to prioritize and formulate his own plans) and personhood.

Politics and privilege – who gets to access care?

One of the things we're first presented with when it comes to Mithrun is that he is intensely capable at handling dungeons. Yeah, there's the immediately visible prosthetic eye and the navigation issues, but the Canaries are built up as being incredibly dangerous and skilled, and he's their captain; they all immediately defer to him. He's intense, he curbstomps an entire room of guards, he's efficient, he's brutal, he's strong physically and magically.

In short: yeah, he's very disabled. He's also still very useful.

At the risk of oversimplification, even within his particular disability, he's much more disabled than Marcille is (she lost something relatively simple and easy to miss, she has no catatonia-moment) but less disabled than Thistle, who seems to still have at least one desire related to the king but is still primarily catatonic. It seems like Thistle is not unusual among ex-dungeon lords, even if there's enough noncatatonic dungeon lords to form a support group later. When Milsiril finds Mithrun, she immediately intends to mercy-kill him – this seems to be a condition the elves are familiar with but consider terminal, at least to the degree Mithrun is affected, and people seem unfamiliar what it means to keep living in this state because Mithrun is unusual in that he survives at all. And he's “allowed” to survive initially because he's not as disabled as he could have been (still has a desire) and that desire is useful. They aim him at the dungeons and off he goes. It takes twenty years for him to recover enough to do it, sure, but they're elves. They can wait. He can still be useful.

Relatedly, when he loses the ability to pursue his desire he's immediately much worse off than he was previously.

The no-desire catatonia is something that can recur and the elves continue to not know how to handle it. If Kabru wasn't there to problemsolve I think he'd have just… stayed there with his increasingly distressed squad.

Speaking of his squad, there's also a fascinating power dynamic going on with just the inherent structure of the Canaries; criminals are assigned as his caregivers. There's the inherent unfairness to the criminal Canaries about them being given extra duties, this strange rich noble guy who's now their Responsibility. There's so much possibility for resentment in normal caregiving relationships, much less being forced by your jailor into caregiving someone. But there's also an element of the power the prisoner Canaries now have over him and his most basic ADLs and needs. Assigning Cithis to his care is such a can of worms! The dynamics of the situation are frankly awful for both of them; of course she resents him initially. It would be strange for her not to. When Pattadol catches her making Mithrun do embarrassing things, she instantly reminds Cithis of her lower-status – she's forced to care for this nobleman and then forcibly reminded that she's beneath him.

She's responding to having menial, low-status tasks forced on her by trying to humiliate him, and although he doesn't have the ability to care enough to stop her it's still a deliberate removal of dignity. He's the instrument with which she is punished and she punishes him in return (until it's not fun anymore and she understands him a bit more.)

Mithrun is a long-lived race, who has structural power over the shorter lived races simply because of how long they live. The dwarves and elves try to actively keep certain knowledge from other races, restricting their access to technology, and other expressions of distance. Senshi spends nearly the whole first season not listening to Chilchuck trying to explain that he's an adult and treating him like a child, and Kabru repeatedly says that the elves do the same thing (and tbh we see them doing it). There's even the fact that it took him twenty years to recover enough to join the Canaries again; a shorter-lived race might have died from old age in this time, or become too old to work in this capacity, and then wasted away without the drive to return to the dungeons. But they're elves; the other elves can afford to wait, and he's not going to age out of dungeoneering any time soon. Being an elf probably contributes to his wealth in the same way skin color contributes to wealth inequality in the real world.

Dungeon Meshi doesn't really go into race in the sense of skin color much, and Kui is writing from a different cultural standpoint than I am. While tallmen are quite accurate when it comes to skin/hair color (yes, even Kabru and his blue eyes; it's rare but possible) and cultural references, the elves, uh, absolutely are not, both in the sense of “dark skin & pale hair and eyes trope” and sense of the royals having jet black skin.

Still, I feel like race is so connected to care and caregiving in the real-world west that I would be profoundly remiss not to mention it. Skin color might not matter to elves in the racism sense, but it matters to humans and humans are the ones writing and analyzing this story. (And I fully expect as the fandom grows with anime-onlies people will like Mithrun more because he's white (has white features) than they would if he had darker skin, because fandom is also baseline racist.)

I don't think we can just not mention that Mithrun is pale-skinned and both Cithis and Kabru, his primary caregivers over the story, both have dark skin.

Racism means white people are more likely to get good medical care, the type you need to get diagnosed and prescribed caregiving. Racism means wealth distribution is uneven, favoring white people. Race affects immigrants taking on undesirable jobs like caregiving for low pay. Racism is a profound stressor which means it contributes to who becomes disabled in the first place in that it can worsen health outcomes.

Similarly to race, gender may not be very obvious when it comes to this subplot within the story but the gendered dynamics of caregiving in the real world are something I do want to touch on. There's an oft-cited statistic about how men are much more likely than women to divorce their partners when their partners are diagnosed with a serious condition; I don't like relying too much on those sorts of statistics because they can be so misleading but it does gesture at something very real, culturally. Even if men aren't supposed to be caretaken, women are supposed to be the caretakers. Certainly, it's not Mithrun's fault that he can't cook and can't do laundry and probably can't do most housework, but I do also think about all the posts passed around about “my boyfriend who won't do housework.”

Again, none of these privileges make him less disabled and less in need of and deserving of care, they're just worth talking about when we talk about caregiving in general.

It's Rotten Work, Even If It's You

People expect disabled people receiving care to be grateful, to accept anything, and to try and make it easier for the caregiver if they're able. Requiring care is an incredibly disadvantaged position, even as actually receiving it can be so tangled up in privilege. Caregiving is tremendously difficult work, it's true, but there's a particular vibe people want from disabled people – all those movies about not wanting to be seen as a burden. Never complaining. Being grateful.

And, uh, well…

Mithrun basically accepts anything his caregivers do, but he's not grateful at all! I appreciate that in a disability portrayal. He'll also lie to and ignore his caregivers, which is Annoying but is definitely an expression of autonomy even if he's probably not doing it specifically to express his autonomy. He's not going to thank you. He's not going to make it easy. He'll accept a lot of things considered “undignified,” and he's not mean or unpleasant in the sense that he's taking advantage or anything, but he's certainly not a model patient.

He's running off back into the dungeons just when you think you've finally gotten him somewhere safe.

There's always a strange tension in caregiving, I've found. It is incredibly intimate but a lot of it is done by total strangers. A number of caregiving tasks are viewed by the wider world as entitled but placing those tasks in the hands of strangers is a remarkably tough place to be in. As a disabled person, I've had to accept my bowel movements being discussed with my parents’ friends, all sorts of being physically moved places not against my will but without my permission, even my pubic hair being shaved off by a stranger (nurse) while I was unable to speak or move. When people are feeding you, making sure you use the toilet, rubbing your feet to make you sleep, helping you with hygiene – people are working so hard to help you. Are you supposed to just accept them doing whatever they want to you?

There's also a dynamic where people will say they don't mind caring for you, they're happy to do it, and then as the years go by and you continue to need care the resentment just builds up. Caregiving is hard work. It's often thankless. The goodness of people’s hearts can run dry, when it's been twenty years and you still can't bathe yourself.

Aaand I need to continue in reblogs, because I'm out of space for images. Please hold. edit: you can find part 2 here

[ph4ngz]

Can I request how do Reo, Nagi, and Kunigami fuck?

Of course, my lovely little anon ^3^

isagi, chigiri, bachira, rin + sae version here <3

Mikage Reo fucks you with unnerving passive-aggression. No, no, no. He's not the type to upset you on purpose, as much as he enjoys licking the stray tears that roll down your cheeks while he's fucking you stupid. Nah, Reo is so obsessed with making you cum that he'll unintentionally set off hostile waves of adrenaline rolling through his veins. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! That's right, cutie. I will get another one outta you." Just because he views it as a victory he can achieve on his own, more than once at that. He'll become so focused, so intent sometimes that cumming himself won't even cross his mind. "You've got a few more left, haven't ya? For me?" he'll chuckle breathlessly with a dangerously influential, open-mouthed smile from above you. And of course you'll nod your head so obediently for your sweet Reo, like the skilful cock bullying your insides forbids you from denying.

When he finally notices his abdomen tensing, he'll tip over to the more aggressive side of the scale, veiny hands dying to squeeze the fat of your ass with a bruising pressure whilst his hips stutter. "Nngh— hnngh! Nuh-no… wasn't done~" his orgasm will hit him like a truck, instantly taming his animalistic behaviour and reducing his vocabulary to nothing more than softened whines of ecstasy.

Seishiro Nagi fucks you with pure ego. Oh, you thought he would be gentlemanly enough to let you finish first? Think twice. "Stop whining already…" he'll complain lightheartedly, jackhammering so hard into your poor, neglected cunt that previous loads of cum start to spurt past his dick and land in small specks upon your ass. Soon enough, your incessant wailing will eat at his temper but also at his heart, half giving into you with a "quit bitching and I might let you cum with me this time, sound good?". If you feel inclined to behave yourself, he'll be reasonable. But it'll always be a challenge to control your temper when his egocentric bullshit comes into play.

After what will feel like a lifetime of Nagi dangling you over the edge above the depths of sheer pleasure and release, he'll suddenly grant you exactly that. It'll seem like a cruel lie at first when he tells you, but it's when he'll forcefully spread your legs impossibly further apart that you'll believe it. "Hey, s-stop squirming— you idiot… agh, hah, fuuuuuuck me…" he'll drawl out a fucked-out moan whilst simultaneously doubling over to kiss your cute nose mid-orgasm.

Rensuke Kunigami fucks you with intimidating strength. First, he'll toy with you gently, loving to torture your throbbing clit after telling you to sit still on his fat cock. "Ah-ah, sweetheart. If you move, I'll only have you crying." his voice is deep and smooth when he'll threaten you, nothing but the truth in that handsome smirk of his. He'll reward you with a nice sloppy kiss if you're complacent, although that's not the highlight you look forward to. That's when he'll have you ultimately trapped beneath his muscular body, broad chest flush against your back and rendering you unable to move without permission. "I fuckin' warned you, didn't I. You're s—uch a sucker for this strength shit…" he'll groan deliciously with his head hanging beside yours, relentlessly pounding your sticky pussy from behind.

"Ohhh god~ swear you get t-tighter every time I see you— Grr! Yeah, yeah yeah m'cumming!" Kunigami will strain to keep himself from fucking howling as he'll hold you insanely close and continue to slam his pelvis into your asscheeks, muscles tensing to stop your overstimulated body from fidgeting whilst the sound of skin smacking skin sends you to heaven and back.

|| || || ||

[lovewitchtarot]

future spouse pick a pile

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading; take what resonates, leave what doesn't. Never use tarot readings for medical or legal advice, and for the sake of legality, don't act on anything that could potentially hurt you or others because of a tarot reading. Don't take this reading or any others too seriously. Remember, this is for the collective, not just one person.

pile one

random attributes of you or your spouse: fire sign, summer (summer birthday or when you two meet), light skin, dark skin (could also be olive or tanned), green (eyes or a favorite color), long hair, and blond or light brown hair (could be dyed).

numbers and letters for pile one: a,x,t, and 4

have you and your future spouse already meet? yes! you and this person could be from the same culture, heritage, or religion (or spiritual belief). they highly value family and traditions they are quite literally a "family man (or woman)"

personality and relationship with this person: this person may be a perfectionist, and this at times can hold them back because they are afraid of failure and making mistakes. They may abandon projects because of this. This person has to work through this. You may help them realize that it's okay to not always be perfect and help them heal their wounds, and at the same time, they'll help heal yours. Before this person heals themselves, it may cause you two to have a falling out or a rough patch because they may push you away out of fear, but you two will work through and come back stronger than ever. In this relationship, you will be treated like a queen or king. This person loves to care for and nurture you; they are very gentle with you, especially when you are sick or not feeling 100%. You may have met this person through mutual friends, and in the future, you two will share friends, and you will be close with their family, and they'll be close with yours. You two will celebrate together a lot. You'll celebrate huge milestones and little everyday achievements. This person will really lift you up and cheer you on. This person is very creative; they may be an artist of sorts, and they'll bring out your inner artist as well. You will be this person's muse; they'll make art about or for you, and they will love to look at you because, in their eyes, you are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. You two will celebrate many ups and downs. You will help this person with grief and loss, and they will help with yours too. This person will bring lots of stability to your life, both emotionally and financially. This person literally makes the impossible possible; they can manifest anything into reality without even trying. You two will have a family together, but it may take some time and it may not be easy, but you two will be loving, caring parents.

pile two

random attributes about you or your future spouse: light skin, summer, winter, spring (you could have birthdays in these seasons or you could meet during this time, you could also meet during a vacation maybe on a vacation to celebrate yours or their birthday)

numbers and letters: v,a,i,t,6,7,2,4,

have you met this person? no you have not but you will meet with the next 3 years possibly sooner.

how you meet: you will meet this person after going through a loss of some sort maybe a messy break up on your end or theirs you will provide support for them or they will provide support for you.

personality and relationship with this person: this person is brave and eager; they may be adventurous and outdoorsy; they may play a sport for fun or professionally; I can also see them riding horses or bikes. You two will go on hikes and adventures as dates. You two may go to the park for a picnic, or you may go to the beach to relax; they love the outdoors. This person really brings out your inner child; they themselves may be playful and full of life. This person does have the downfall of taking on too much at once; they overwork themselves and don't take time to take a break or relax; they are constantly on the move. Before you two met, they had battled with an addiction or extremely bad mental health, but they put in the work to get better. They may have done this for or because of you. This person brings stability into this relationship; they are definitely a level-headed person, and they help to balance you out. This person is also very creative, and they see the beauty in the mundane. It is very important to be patient and wait for this person instead of being with the wrong person, because, trust me, this relationship is definitely worth the wait. This relationship is quite literally a gift from the divine, and you will cherish it forever. This person is definitely your twin flame or your soulmate. I see you having two kids with someone and really loving them. I think you would really love being a parent, and it would give you fulfillment in life, whether you think so right now or not.

pile three

random attributes about you or you future spouse: medium to light skin color, medium hair (length or color), brown or green eyes, brown hair, short, older than you, extraverted, spring and winter

numbers and letters: 8,6,9,3,5,i,v,u,o,a

have you met this person yet? no you have not expect to meet them soon within 6 months.

how you meet? you two meet at a busy place could be a party of sorts or just a get together. it'll be crowded which may not be your scene but they thrive in that type of environment and you may be mesmerized with how well they get along with everyone and how effortless it is for them to talk to people.

personality and how they are in the relationship: this person may seem like a player at first, like they aren't ready for a relationship yet and like they don't want to settle down, but don't worry; in the long run, you two will have a steady, trustworthy relationship. You made this person realize that there's more to life than partying and going out every night. You made them realize that they want genuine love and to have an actual relationship. This person has healing energy, like being the therapist of a friend group or being good with kids or animals. You and this person are strong. You have both had hard times at times, and sometimes, especially in this relationship, it may take willpower from both sides. You and this person are yin and yang, black and white; you two balance each other's energy 50/50. This person is also everything you have and everything you have ever dreamed of, quite literally. You may have prophetic dreams of this person, or you may sit and daydream about them and your relationship with them. You may have some trouble opening up to this person and being sensitive, but don't worry, you will work through this and open up to them, even if it takes time. This person has authority; they are strong, stoic, and protective. You will have many decisions in this relationship, and your spouse may even consult you about their decisions and choices. Don't let fear hold you back. Don't hide in your fear. Take the leap and do big things. You or your spouse may be very psychic, especially at a young age. You and this person had past life connections, and your souls are tied together in a way; they may be your twin flame or soul mate. I don't see you having kids, but you could always adopt pets or even adopt later down the line.

[ferritins]

THIS TORNADO LOVES YOU | S. RILEY

SUMMARY: Simon takes a step you never thought he would, in a way you’d never imagine.

NOTES: the endearment ‘pet’ is used once, in an “author grew up in The Midlands City God Forgot AKA Leicester” way, not the kink way. credit for the idea for this piece goes to @bleuu-moon, who’s post about Simon letting you take off the mask has been living in my head rent free bills and utilities included for ages.

disclaimer; whilst I’m down bad for fictional men who are taller than me, I also an anti-militarism pro disarmament pacifist. COD and other military games a recruitment tool for the armed forces, and PMCs are just a way for governments to outsource war crimes to avoid The Hague. do not enlist; big oil and genocidaires are not worth dying for and armed service will chew you up and shit you out to die as soon as you are physically or psychologically incapable of dying for the sake of capital.

You come home to Simon illuminated by your television, scant blood splotches blackish on his fatigue sleeves.

“Um. Is any of that yours?” You venture, dropping your keys in their designated dish, casting a careful eye over your lover. “I thought we had come to an agreement about you actively bleeding all over my sofa cushions after last time.”

Simon grunts.

You roll your eyes.

“Words, love.”

“Just got back from Santo Domingo.” You hiss a quiet breath through your teeth, wincing as you turn to hang your coat; the boys had been following an organisation of information brokers trading in NATO military intelligence, the kind of people with whom contact was both rare and in its eventuality, incredibly bloody.

Nevertheless, Simon has never been someone who is particularly receptive to sympathy; by the time you turn back around to face him, your face is carefully neutral.

“Did you achieve your mission objective? Wait, more importantly, you didn’t answer my question; are you bleeding?”

There’s a bitter little chuckle. “Affirmative to the first, negative to the second.”

The air sits heavy as you and Simon watch one another, flashes of colour and light bouncing off the skull of his mask like a nightmare in Technicolor.

Just when the tension reaches the point of being unbearable, Simon speaks.

“They knew your name.” He says, voice basso profundo with his gathering fury.

A frisson of fear runs down your spine — not at Simon, not after all this time, but at the information — before dissipating like cigarette smoke in a hurricane.

It’s a target on your back, sure, but it is one of dozens. Your career has made you many enemies.

“They trade in military intelligence, Simon, which is pretty much my entire area of specialty.”

“Do you think this is a joke?”

“Do you think I’m a shrinking violet? What, should I give up my Lance Corporal’s stripe and my job? You met me when I was working signal intercept radio intelligence on RAF Ascension Island, for God’s sake.”

“You’d be safer.” Simon’s voice has taken on as much of a pleading tone as he’s capable of.

“I’d be miserable.” You retort.

“Fuck.” Simon snarls, a savage sigh of breath leaving him. “You know I’m not gonna leave your side after today, pet? Gonna get sick of my face.”

“If this is supposed to irritate me into obscurity, it’s not going to work. I like the mask, and having six foot eight of perfectly built spec ops soldier at my back isn’t exactly a hardship.” You snarl.

“Simon’s head tilts, predatory.

I”I said my face, lovie.”

Your heart starts hammering.

“”Simon, you’ve not been barefaced in front of someone in nigh on a decade. Your personnel file doesn’t have a photograph of you, and the only one that exists of you is redacted so far only His Maj can see it. For fuck’s sake, you’ve torn men’s throats out for so much as touching your mask.”

“Simon hums an affirmative, a mocking note under the tone of it.

“So now you’re scared of what intelligence gathering can lead to? Scared I’ll tear your throat out, hm?”

“Fuck you.” You snarl. “I’m not scared of you. I’m not going to let you violate your own autonomy and boundaries to prove a point, you supercilious son of a—“

“You’re the one taking it off.” Simon interrupts.

“You’re insane.”

“If you’re not going underground to wait this out, I’m gonna be living in your fucking shadow, sweetheart, breathing in your every exhale, and I can’t do that when all they know me for is the mask. The next person to so much as look at you sideways is going to die, slow and bloody, and my face is going to be the last thing they see.”

Your next inhale is shaky. Simon, sensing blood in the water, goes for the kill.

“Either you can look me in the face, acknowledge what you’re dooming anyone who hurts you to, or you back down.”

Even as you’re swinging a leg over both of Simon’s to situate yourself in his lap, you’re aware of how hideously stupid what you’re doing is.

Bolstered my nothing but bravado and an inkling of curiosity, and with your pulse rabbiting, you slowly pull up his balaclava, revealing his face to you piecemeal; a strong jaw, a bottom-heavy mouth, a patrician nose broken thrice and healed right only twice, whispers of long blonde eyelashes, and brown eyes, dark as bitumen.

On anybody else, the features would be discordant, too much dissonance to be cohesive; on Simon, they work.

His face is arresting, more than handsome; you can’t help but look at him.

His top lip is pulled up into a perpetual snarl on the left by a long deep furrow of scar tissue that starts just under his eye.

There’s a silvery scar about a half-inch long from his hair line, and his cheeks are dotted with faint demarcations; nicks from shrapnel and knifepoint, you assume.

All flat eyes and scarring, this is perhaps this most dangerous Simon has looked to you in a while.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You say, referring to both your job and Simon’s unmasking. “I’m not backing down.”

Simon is a big man, and has a surprising amount of heft to him, even when he's not trying.

His hands are large enough that even the love tap to your rump has you tipping into him. Your front is pressed to his, and you're looking up, up, up into his eyes, bearing witness to the way hunger floods them, a hungry kind of dark pouring into his gaze like an oil slick in the Mediterranean Sea.

“And I’m not backing off. Hell or high water, death or desertion; we’re in this together for good now, you and I.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this has been in the development hell folder of my Google docs for like two months so if it’s shite that’s no longer my problem I’m afraid 😭🙏🏽 thank you for reading! please do not recommend/repost on TikTok.