#also the reason i can force myself through them is usually because i tend to read short 150-350 length books

[steelycunt]

do you have any books you’ve dnf?

uhm not LOADS because i do usually try and finish books even if im not enjoying them, just so that i can feel justified in my opinion on them and know that i gave them the opportunity to uh...be good :-/ i remember i once got about halfway through in cold blood by truman capote and then accidentally left it on a bus and just. never tried to replace it even though i was quite enjoying it. (should probably give that another go). only other book i recall dnfing was norwegian wood by murakami...try as i might i just could not find it in me to care about what was happening in it :-( and i did try :-( but honestly when i think about my 'least favourite' books...they're all books i finished, however painfully!

[unstablenoodle]

Just graduated, and I’ve been dragging myself by my hair through the last 4 years. here’s advice if you’re new to college:

Basic advice:

Make friends in your lectures. You will know some of those people all four years, and some of them are better at this than you. You’re still capable, but there’s always a bigger fish and you should make that fish into a study buddy

Get a job at a food court/ campus restaurant. You get a free meal, which might be your only one for the day if you don’t have a meal plan. Work can also be a mental break from academics.

Abuse office hours. Annoy your TA. make them scared to see you. TA’s are tired grad students and you won’t have a formal relationship with them: they are students too.

Study advice:

Flash cards are for review and rote learning only. 15-30 minute power review sessions for things you already know. If you’re going over familiar shit, do it in short, repetitive bursts.

Be the bitch with annoying decorative notes. Make it a game, it’ll force you to look at the material more. I will say though, make sure you decorate with purpose.

Those friends you made in lecture? That’s where you get the big studying done. If you’re going for a higher 4 hour long study sesh, bring other people. They know things you don’t and vice versa, so you can fill in the gaps for each other. This type of studying is for unfamiliar or confusing material.

Big study sessions usually only happen a couple weeks out from exams at most. Before exams, your homework is your main means of studying.

Just go to the lecture. I don’t care if it’s at 7:30 am, go. Participation points could be the difference between a B and a C.

TI-84 graphing calculator

Pub chem

If a professor, for some ungodly reason, says you aren’t allowed to work on the homework with other people, fuck that guy.

Your $168.99 textbook is likely a free PDF online.

Date someone who fills in your gaps. I dated an engineer I met in a physics class and it worked beautifully.

Mental health (my advice on this is very specific):

Basic advice: drink water regularly, eat vegetables, exercise. You know all this.

Stay far, far away from any substance called a “study buddy” or something like that

Get a hobby. Actually. Something to do in your free time to keep you from going insane. I personally like knitting and drawing, but it can be anything. I’d say avoid something involving technology because it’s easy to fall into that for hours at a time. Do something that engages your hands and your brain. You might not be creative, but creativity is good for you. Your painting looks like shit? The benefits you have reaped from its creation are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Good job.

If you are having any kind of hallucination (visual, auditory, presence, etc.), seek professional help immediately. I have lived half my life with the feeling of eyes on me and the presence of people who aren’t actually there and never tried to fix it because I could “work around it.” Just go get help. Hallucinations can also be a symptom of neurological issues and physical illness.

OCD and disorders involving psychosis are aggravated by stress. Your classes will stress you out. Disorders like this are scary and debilitating, so you absolutely need to be in therapy, possibly on medication. They also tend to be episodic, so you may have periods of recovery where your life quality improves. Do NOT be fooled: you still need to be in therapy even if you feel good. Preventative measures are the best measures!!

Social:

Get a job. Work friends are funnier and way more entertaining than any other kind of friend

I recommend a group of 2-4 people you chill with regularly. Movie night with them once a week (barring exam weeks and extenuating circumstances)

Talk with your roommates at least occasionally. It’s no fun living with total strangers.

Do not start smoking cigarettes. A lot of people are repulsed by the smell and it clings to you.

Hygiene. Mainly you should smell good. You don’t have to go crazy with an expensive perfume/ cologne, but shower and always have a decent scent. Also try not to wear stained clothes.

Not sure how useful this is, but it’s the first thing I could think of. I’ll come back and edit if I think of more.

[yaksha-lover]

Hi! Maybe strange question but you seem to have a good grasp on the boys’ personalities. I’ve been reading a lot of the yanderification of the TWST boys and started wondering which ones (if any) would be most likely to have what could be labeled “yandere” tendencies. Just seems like a fun train of thought to chase.

Do you have any thoughts on this? (Also sorry for the word salad.)

In my opinion, I think it’s pretty easy to twist most of their personalities to fit a yandere type, but as for who’s yandere characterizations are closest to their canon counterparts, I would say:

Malleus, I think is the obvious one. Although clearly I don’t think he’d be yandere in canon, it makes sense for him to have some clingy tendencies in a relationship, and an obsession with his romantic interest. It’s the whole ‘you’re the only person in the world who matters to me’ type trope, because of the social rejection and isolation he’s faced.

People usually take it two ways here, either a) very possessive and jealous or b) very protective. I tend to lean towards the second interpretation (although I love to explore the first one, the second is more canon to me). More ‘I would burn cities to protect you, move heaven and earth to make you happy’ than ‘I want to keep you locked up here all to myself, you belong to me.’ So yes, a yandere Malleus may kidnap you, but only to keep you ‘safe.’ He’s also not as emotionally immature as I think he’s sometimes characterized as (although I’m probably also guilty of this). He’s not really the type to force someone to love him, imo, because he wants it to be genuine (his insecurity stems from an inability to be accepted so forcing it wouldn’t truly fulfill that desire to be loved and validated).

Rook, I think also makes sense, but it’s hard to say because most of the time a lot of his characterization is just played for jokes. Like the whole ‘he’s a stalker, he knows a lot about everyone, others get unnerved by him, etc.’ It’s meant to be funny, but if we take it seriously then we could probably jump to some interesting conclusions about Rook. Also, combined with that ghost bride line about him ‘never letting his beloved go’ -

He seems the type to get fixated on some object of beauty, and I could see that developing into a yandere-like obsession. Maybe if he finally finds the one thing - or person - who he thinks is the true pinnacle of art and beauty, what he’s been searching for all along. Initial stalking to learn more about his interest, some uncomfortable attempts at closeness because he knows everything about them and they know nothing about him. Divided between showing his beloved off to the world and keeping them all nice and pretty for his own enjoyment - the only one who can truly appreciate their beauty. Also, once he’s felt the experience of love, I doubt he’d ever want to live without it. Maybe that’s the ‘true’ beauty of life to him, even.

Jamil is just so apathetic that if he ever did fall for someone, I can’t see him ever giving them up if he can help it. Also, we’ve seen in canon that Jamil isn’t above doing mildly bad things for self-serving interests (think masquerade with ruggie, manipulating the oblivious students).

He just wants something nice and soft for himself. Is that so much to ask for, after all he’s been through? Jamil is never allowed to have anything, nothing that Kalim doesn’t. It’s no wonder he’d cling to the only sweet thing he can get his hands on, something just for him. Even if you’re frustrated with him, even if you get tired of him, he isn’t so willing to just let you go. He deserves something nice like you, and you’ll be happy with him, even if you might need a ‘charming’ reminder of it sometimes.

Lastly, Jade and Floyd are popular yanderes to write for a reason. They both already have so much inexplicably unhinged energy even compared to the rest of the cast (other than maybe Rook). Jade seems so cold and apathetic, while putting on a mask of care. Floyd doesn’t really care to do so, wearing his many moods on his sleeve. But they’re still two sides of the same coin; they’re used to getting whatever they want, often by questionable means.

They also seem like they would be pretty possessive, even if it comes out in different ways. Jade and Floyd may be good at sharing with each other, but they’ve never been good at sharing with anyone else. Floyd will show you (and whoever thinks it’s okay to encroach on his partner) how upset he is by this particular development. I doubt you’d want to keep it up when he threatens your friends that get a little too close. Jade is different; the same annoyance and possessiveness still burns him, but he has a little more patience than Floyd. He isn’t willing to start any fights. Jade prefers not to get his hands dirty, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other tactics to scare away anyone who tries to flirt with you.

[after-midnight-notes]

What Do People Assume About You? | General Tarot Reading, Pick-a-Card

Disclaimer! Tarot is for entertainment purposes only & not meant to dictate professional or medical advice.

relax & choose with your intuition ✨

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Pile 1 | Dendritic Agate

Cards Drawn: The Star, Eight of Coins, King of Coins, Order (Moon in Virgo), Eight of Hearts (Sun), Eight of Hearts (Moon)

What’s really interesting in this pile is that the cards pulled for the position of the sun and the moon are literally the same card mirroring one another. You seem like the kind of person that doesn’t like to beat around the bush for practical reasons, meaning, you don’t feel the need to shield away vital aspects of your character from others. It’s like “well, why would I present myself as someone that’s different from who I actually am, that’s no way to make friends,” which is such a practical way to look at meeting people that it’s pretty endearing! So while you’re logical in your sincerity, you tend to be upfront and genuine which is something people feel gravitated towards. As well as this, you’re persistent and tend to see each of your agendas through to the end. Even when things get difficult, it’s like you also have a realistic approach to hopefulness and are thinking one step ahead. When disappointing things happen to you, you are able to honor both your emotional body and your logic to begin to dust yourself off and move forward. Now, persistence isn’t usually a pretty thing, so even when you are feeling down, as if something is unconquerable, people still look up to you and your ethics. They don’t have to see or feel all the hardships that you’ve had to overcome, they only see that you continuously succeed. This could cause some some people to view you as conceited or arrogant when in reality they aren’t seeing the whole picture of what actually goes into your accomplishments. If you were to ask me, I’d avoid those types of people, but at the same time they aren’t always upfront about their ill-feelings. Naturally, you are more reserved and modest with your emotions, but you’re still true to yourself in all that you do and know when it’s appropriate to share your emotions in an orderly fashion—because of this people find you quite genuine and kind, they can find themselves drawn to your sincerity since that emotional side of you is not so commonly shared with others. No matter what their opinions or you, it’s no question that people wonder about you. In your mysterious you’ve given them just enough to linger and imagine what’s really going on inside of your mind. All in all, I think you’re a proper gem :)

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Pile 11 | Carnelian

Cards Drawn: Page of Swords, Ace of Cups, Eight of Swords, Flattery (Venus in Gemini), Three of Spades (Sun), Seven of Hearts (Moon)

When people first meet you, they immediately are drawn in with your wit and charm. It’s like you ooze a particular friendliness that makes you easy to talk to, once people have found themselves finished with the conversation they will find themselves in awe of such a natural interaction. I think this could have been developed in your childhood/early adolescence as a form of ‘people pleasing’, and it probably started off as a way of observing people to get the best possible reaction from them. You also naturally had the gift of communication to begin with and wanted to ensure that people got the best possible impression from you. It’s also possible that you could use people as an external force to keep negative emotions at bay, and instead of listening to these uncomfortable sensations you’d much rather find a friend to spend time with. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to people during times of need yet it seems like there’s a certain level of avoidance here that needs to be addressed. It could also be an unconscious decision to seek out activities to do during times of distress. Regardless, for as invested as you are in your social life, there is also give-and-take involved. Meaning that you tend to get in over your head when it comes to people, resulting in a fierce burnout that is completely unavoidable despite your efforts. It can come at inopportune times as well, making you come across as unreliable to others and prone to broken promises. Of course, I don’t think this is intentional on your part at all and you absolutely despise letting others down. Because you have the tendency to ignore your emotions at times when they are low, it accumulates to the point where you can’t ignore them anymore. You may be thinking to yourself that the people pleasing aspect of yourself is the root of your charm and conversational talent, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. People see you and are drawn to you not because of your agreeability, but because you offer something fresh and new, a colorful and characteristic perspective. They are drawn to you because of your heart. The people that benefit from your tendencies to prioritize others above yourself wouldn’t put in that same amount of effort if asked to return it, so largely they are undeserving of your time. The people that are worth your time and energy are the ones that would be more than happy to see you commit to boundaries that would help to heal you.

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Pile 111 | Polychrome Jasper

Cards Drawn: The Lovers, The Star, The Fool, Decision (Mars in Gemini), Ace of Clubs (Sun), Ace of Spades (Moon)

When people think of you, they see someone who is very confident and carefree, perhaps a little childish, who loves to live in the moment and has an abundance of optimism and prosperity. In their eyes, nothing could ever go wrong for you, everything always ends up in place even if you are making reckless and hasty decisions. You’re able to take risks without ever feeling the weight of a consequence and you face everything with vivacious liberty. Some people might wonder how you’ve made it so long being as lighthearted as you are, especially when it appears as though you just march into whatever happens to be going on without a second thought or sweat. These people are able to think this way because on the inside you bottle it all up, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. On the inside, it’s a careful process of calculation and purpose, a balancing act. There’s definitely a prevalent worry, whether it is about the future or bad luck that prefers to translate itself into an exact opposite: vivaciousness. You probably shy away from difficult topics and debates because you hate being the bearer of bad news. In most cases, when things get uncomfortable or difficult between other people, you’d much rather remain as clueless as most people paint you as to be as unaffected as possible. Despite this façade, you are actually quite dexterous, being somewhat of a “jack of all trades”. You’re quick-witted and passionate about your opinions even if others don’t see it often compared to the other side of you. The more you shy away from the argumentative aspects of yourself, it could come as a detriment. Quick decision making skills as well the natural inquiry to gather information makes you sharp, you think fast and hit even faster. Most people wouldn’t expect this from you, especially at first glance since they don’t see the need to assume much from your imaginative and vivacious personality. In fact, many people might write you off as unprofessional or immature due to the fact they can’t harmonize both aspects of themselves as well as you can. You have the ability to showcase that two seemingly contrasting aspects can coexist together harmoniously, seriousness and the not-so-serious, and you definitely make people take a double-take when you’re able to switch between being happy-go-lucky and astute, forcing people to know that you’re not one to underestimate.

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Pile 1v | Black Moonstone

Cards Drawn: The Hanged Man (Reversed), Seven of Wands, Judgement, Detachment (Venus in Aquarius), Nine of Spades (Sun), Queen of Diamonds (Moon)

The first thing I felt while shuffling for this pile was the sensation of gentle waves slowly pulling a rowboat back and forth—of course, the reason why the boat wasn’t being dragged off with the currents was because it was still steadily tied to a dock. This analogy especially feels fitting for this pile because you definitely seem like the kind of person that lies in wait and is overly cautious. People may consider you a homebody or anxious due to your long periods of inactivity. Your way of making friends is not standard, and you like to appear as ‘friendly’ without being too warm. This could be because of a hesitancy to become close to new people out of fear of the unknown or apparent judgement due to the fact that you’ve been told in the past that your mannerisms and habits are odd. You’re the kind of person that assumes the worst but hopes for the best, but mentally you gravitate more towards thinking and pondering the worse which lends a hand in your stagnation and apprehension towards change. If you aren’t 100% sure of a situation or person, it’s highly unlikely you’re willing to go out of your way (and comfort zone) to be around it. There’s quite a heavy level of shoving required to even get you to consider leaving your comfort zone, however there is another side to this coin as you are very tied and true to your moral code, even if others find it eccentric. Because of this, if certain occasions arise that fit into the description of your ethics, you would follow suit and see it through. Once the initial ‘shove’ is through, it slowly opens you up and allows new opportunities to trickle through slowly but surely. It could be possible that, on some level, you would like to be seen as someone outgoing and friendly while still remaining true to who you are. No matter what, you remain loyal to what you know to be right and wrong and base your actions off of this code intently. Due to your habit of long pondering, your morals are hard and fast, and they could be a reason why you take so much time making sure that you are as correct as possible. There wouldn’t be a time where you could simply disregard your moral code for anything. Where people read you wrong is that they assume you’re just not interested in making friends or being around others. You definitely have an inclination to just as anybody else would have as a social creature, you simply like to pick and choose your moments based on your comfort and you prioritize this over most things.

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[antianakin]

Is there a specific pro Jedi tag on AO3 that can be used to filter out anti and criticals? Cause I keep searching for Luke and Leia time travel fics where they save the galaxy and give Palpatine a headache (saving Anakin is potentially a bonus to those other two), but the vast majority are Jedi critical at LEAST.

... Speaking of, do you know any good time travel Luke and Leia fics where they save the galaxy, give Palps a headache (and maybe save Anakin cause Luke kept asking and Leia just decided to help on behalf of her own sanity)?

The main tag I was able to find seems to be "Jedi Appreciation" which includes things like "Jedi Order Respected", "Jedi Culture Respected," "Jedi Culture Appreciated", "Jedi Positive", "Jedi Order Positive", "Pro Jedi", and "Pro Jedi Order". I also found tags more specifically related to the Council, like "Jedi Council Appreciation" and "Good Jedi Council." I'm a TAD suspicious of the second one since the wording of it seems to lean more towards having adjusted the Jedi Council in order to BE "good" as opposed to recognizing they're ALREADY good, but it's potentially worth a look through to see (I found one that claimed to have some Yoda bashing and another saying "they are not the assholes in this story", as just two examples of why this particular tag might be suspect).

There's also the more basic "Jedi Culture & Customs" tag which is likely more of a mixed bag and doesn't necessarily promise POSITIVITY about the Jedi, just that it's EXPLORING Jedi culture and customs, so, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

Some other tags I found just in a basic search: "Jedi as Found Family", "Love Doesn't Equal Attachment", "Clone Troopers and Jedi as Found Family", and "Protective Jedi."

I will also say that it is critical for you as a reader NOT to blindly trust any of these tags. People can and do tag their fics with "Jedi Positive" or "Jedi Appreciation" and then it ends up with plotlines where the Jedi change their culture so that members can marry or they go the grey Jedi route where they realize they should be using both light and dark to find balance or whatever. As I mentioned above, too, it can sometimes mean they just rewrite the Jedi to be closer to what the WRITER thinks the Jedi should be and is now "positive" or it's being positive about the Order at the expense of specific Jedi like Yoda or Mace who are still bashed and vilified. Keep an eye out for other tags on the fic that might reveal more anti or critical elements and just be aware when reading the fic that there is no tag that is guaranteed to filter out EVERYTHING you don't want to read and be ready to hit that back button.

I don't tend to read a lot of time travel fics just in general and the ONLY fic I have read that involves Luke/Leia time traveling is there was a spring of storms by blackkat where Leia's grief in the moment of Alderaan's destruction causes her to reach out in the Force instinctively and propel her, Bail, and Luke back to shortly after the start of the Clone War. It's only 2 chapters in, however, so the story has barely started and I cannot guarantee anything about saving Anakin. With these two chapters, though, I can say that it is absolutely pro Jedi and probably not very Anakin positive. I personally really love this set-up and while it's remained unfinished for quite a while, the author has said in the past that if the fic is still up on AO3 then it's not abandoned, so I am still hoping for the day they come back to this one because it looks INCREDIBLE.

If anyone else has some pro Jedi recommendations for Luke/Leia time travel fics, feel free to let us know!

EDIT: The reason I had to search for tags is because I have never personally used them for myself to LOOK for fics. I usually have a ship or a dynamic that I get invested in and start looking for, find some authors I really like, and then go through all of their fics and bookmarks because if an author WRITES fic that's Pro Jedi, chances are they READ fic that's Pro Jedi too. And then you just rinse and repeat from there. Sometimes there'll be a tag like "X character needs a hug" or something I go through if I notice it pops up enough. I primarily use tags like the ones above as more of a screener when I'm looking through someone's bookmarks or a general ship tag search. I start by looking at the summary to try to figure out the actual premise of the fic and then once I decide I might be interested, I give the tags a scan to see if anything comes up that gives a better idea of what is in the fic that'll make me more interested or immediately back out. Like I said, many a fic has had "pro Jedi" or "Jedi positive" tags and still ended up in what I would consider to be closer to "Jedi critical" these days. A better guarantee for me is knowing that someone bookmarked this fic that has written fic I personally find to be pro Jedi, so that's the method I use.

[death-stranded]

i’ve been double-teamed by both @nihil-ism & @demonrunningwild to post 5 things that make me happy. (that’s one thing to add to the list 😏)

i did one of these recently but i cant even remember what i put on it so i’ll try give a bit more insight to my answers:

coffee

there may be a caffeine addiction at play here but coffee honestly just makes me happy. i’m not fussy about what kind, but i prefer them strong, hot, and black as my damaged wee heart 🖤

and i love being a total homo with a tasty ice coffee (especially because i hate the sun and hot weather.)

there are elements of grounding techniques from the taste, smell and sensations that i learned during therapy that i think contribute to the overall experience for me.

(also when i’m feeling self destructive i love pushing myself over the edge with caffeine anxiety attacks, but i don’t think that’s very ‘happy’ lol.)

video games

i’ve been such a gamer since i was a child and as i’ve grown up i’ve found myself using these experiences as a way of processing things i’m dealing with. i love good storytelling and also overcoming challenges and problem solving.

i typically tend to play 3 main genres: survival horror, fantasy/rpg, and souls-like action-rpgs.

i love scary things and the sense of achievement i get from surviving my way through a horror game, i always find these characters more relatable because of the ordeals they’re facing.

i get really emotional playing huge fantasy games set in incredible worlds, and i love the archetype of light versus dark - which is why my faves are mainly from the final fantasy franchise, with casts of wonderful characters fighting together against otherwordly adversaries.

the reason i love souls-like games is because of the beauty in the stories, lore, and world design, but also the intense difficulty level, forcing you to keep trying over and over until you finally succeed. i once saw a youtube video where someone spoke about how dark souls helped them battle their depression and it really spoke to me too.

my bf

we’ve been together over 10 years now, which is a lifetime away from my unstable love life during my teens-early 20s, with several bfs, more awful first-dates than i can remember, and more one night stands than i even want to try and remember 🤣

we’re very different people and i used to struggle with this in the beginning, but over the long term we’ve given eachother some parts of what we’re each missing. i’ve changed so much during our relationship and he has been the right partner to keep me grounded during some extremely difficult personal development. i’ve engaged with treatment for my mental illnesses, now over 1.5ys sober, become more responsible, and learned to take better care of myself in general. i like having someone who i can take of, to work on improving myself so i can bring more happiness to his life too, and we really work together to try and make things a bit easier on us both.

even after 10+ years i still struggle with those ‘frantic fears or abandonment (real or imagined)’ on an almost daily basis, but our life together has helped me to find some kind of manageable stability.

autumn

my favourite time of year, mainly because i don’t like sunshine and warm weather. winter is nice but i don’t enjoy christmas so i find it all quite stressful.

autumn is the right balance for me because i love dressing in layers, and it’s the right colour palette for me with reds, blacks, and dark oranges. i love chunky knitwear, plaid shirts, scarves, and big black boots.

i also love all the seasonal coffees and things that show up, and i loooove halloween.

people around me always seem to be depressed when summer is over, but i know i’ve always felt different to average people and i feel more at home when the weather is colder, darker, are more uncertain. i hate summer, so i’m usually depressed during those months haha.

butt stuff

alright, i was gonna try keep it wholesome but honestly this is just me, and it’s a serious answer lol.

i’m really self-conscious about my body but i feel confident and powerful when it comes to my butt 😅🥹 i love cute underwear that enhances my features haha.

when i was younger i used sex as a replacement for self-esteem, to try and make people like me, but there are still things from those times that i carry into a healthier relationship today.

on a much, much more serious note, i like the agency i get from being in control of my body (and what goes into it lol.)

i’m also not an athletic person but i’ve set myself goals and challenges to overcome in different ways 🥴

i have a bit of a collector mentality, at one point in time i had like 40-50 or so toys, but i’ve de-cluttered down to a single drawer of dildos and a toolbox of other items.

but like, i have such variety for my different moods that it actually does make me happy. you could say i’m finding more creative ways to fill that black-hole void in my heart 😏 i love my cute comfy small plugs for video gaming days, my bigger boys for when i have too much energy, my really big boys for when i’m up for a challenge, the escapism of a fantasy/monster dildo, and i always feel like a good boy when i’m wagging my tail plug 🐶

thanks for tagging me cuties 😘 i hope i didn’t gross anyone out 🥹

[mukamibabe]

Do you think Karl will force his wife into pregnancy as she won't give up on avoiding and running away from him?He wants her to be with him for the rest of the eternity.So, would he do it?Maybe a oneshot/scenario?

so, this is dark. please be careful reading if darker subjects and topics are triggering for you,,

alright, without further ado, i honestly.. don't know if karl would do so, but at the same time, i can imagine it, as twisted as it is. while karl might not have any more plans for having children, i think he could easily figure out a use for future offspring. plus, this is karlheinz, a man who can sort of do whatever he wants, so getting his s/o knocked up just for fun? just for his own pleasure? sure. it might just end up becoming a christa 2.0 situation though, where karl will convince his s/o that he's in love with them and would probably just gaslight them the entire relationship. i'm not going to say if karl was to get his s/o pregnant it would be with their consent, because it probably wouldn't be 100% consensual but rather with dubious consent? like, again, in christa's case, i may be wrong, but christa was, even before having subaru, was convinced by karl that he was infatuated with her and whatnot. then, one thing led to another and everything escalated. now, whether or not karl would do that just to ensure that his s/o stays with him.. well, he knows he can get them to be with him forever even without getting them pregnant,, . also, the chances of them miraculously loving karl after he’s gotten them pregnant sounds unrealistic to him but either way. karl does what he wants. and if he wants his s/o to have a child for whatever reason, perhaps because he’s actually in love with them (which. not something i see possible because it’s karlheinz) or because he’s got future plans. idk,,!! i’ll write a tiny little drabble for you, though. nothing really graphic at all. also hehe with scenarios i tend to get a bit serious except;.. i hate writing scenarios bc i criticize myself too much 😔 

also i know this is already under a cut, but i think the only trigger warning i can think of (other than karl being a monster) is implied drugging? and restraints? idk i still don’t know how to use tw’s properly but.. 

~~~~~~~

Icy cold fingers startled the vampire lord’s tired, restrained little wife, making her jolt from her temporary somber, the only escape Karlheinz was willing to allow her. 

She had done this to herself, the vampire believed.

They could’ve been happy. She could be living comfortably, sitting right next to Karlheinz on his throne, but she all she chooses is to deny. 

It was entertaining at first, is what Karlheinz would say, had he been asked. It was amusing, chasing after someone who, for once in his many years, did not return his affections. 

While the man has had plenty of years practicing his patience, he can only handle so much. 

Brushing away a strand of hair, Karlheinz purposefully stroked his wife before him gently. If it weren’t for the fact that she looked at him with disgust in her eyes, or the fact that she was literally bound together at her legs and arms, it would come off as endearing. But both Karlheinz and his beloved knew it was otherwise.

“Good morning, love. You’ve slept in quite a bit.” Karl stated, ignoring her scowl, completely unbothered, as he usually was. Honestly, if the vampire king wasn’t as old as he was, his wife would’ve given him a challenge, considering how defiant they were. It was admirable, really. The way they still held on to the idea that they could possibly leave him. 

As expected, Karlheinz got no response. That seemed to be the case as of late, aside from a few snarky retorts here and there. Removing his pale hand away from the woman’s face, he raised it up to run through his own white locks. Exhaling, Karlheinz once again, killed the silence that lingered throughout their bedroom.

“Little wife.. I have a proposition for you.” 

No response. 

“Won’t you hear me out, my love?” 

A frown started to just barely form upon his lips, but was gone with a blink. Shifting closer to her, he used his hand to lift the woman’s chin up, making her face him. To his surprise, she didn’t fight it. Perhaps the drink she had hours ago still had an effect on her. Interesting, but right now, Karl wasn’t trying to test out any of his other experiments. Not at this hour, at least. Although, it did give him an idea for future uses. 

Piercing golden eyes gazed into his wife’s, who stared back at him expectantly- not like he left her room to look elsewhere.

“I love you. Don’t you believe me? Do you not believe that we are fated to be?” Karlheinz spoke seriously, despite the fact that he was completely improvising. Women liked to hear that, didn’t they? Karl could almost laugh at the way it sounded like something straight from his brother’s mouth. What a sap, he was. So unlike the man who was seen as a king and even worshipped like a god. 

Eventually, Karl thought, things will work the way he wanted. He felt no pressure to force things along, but the endless game of cat and mouse had grown tiresome. 

Karl shifted once again, moving his hand towards the back of his wife’s neck, intertwining his fingers in his hair before pulling her into a careful kiss. It was short and sweet, just another lie fed to the woman he was able to call his wife. 

“Just what exactly, my dear, would you do in order to get what you desire?”

~~~~~~~

little note: i left this ambiguous on purpose because honestly i feel like it fits karl as a character but also i just. wasn’t sure where exactly to go lol. at the very end though, when karl asks what she’d be willing to do in order to break away from him, i had the idea that what he would’ve had in mind would have been to carry his child. anyways, let me know how this was. like i said, i get really self conscious when it comes to scenarios and like.. actual writing so djhfd rip

[khaire-traveler]

you get enough asks of people with similar questions and i told myself i wouldn’t add to the list, but i’m rly struggling rn.

i’ve been an active hellenistic polytheist for 3 years now, and an apollo worshiper for around 2.

yet, i haven’t really felt a connection to apollo for a year now. anytime i pray to him, it feels hollow.

i know that the advice people typically give is to move on, but i feel like then it’d be a waste. its quite terrible of me to say, but ive spent so much money and time setting up such a dedicated altar just for it to collect dust.

any ideas or advice? no worries if not. have a lovely day my friend :]

Hey, Max, thank you for the ask! I apologize for the delay.

So, I originally wrote a whole ass post that had paragraphs of information, suggestions, and advice, but Tumblr hates me and decided to just crash and not save literally any of it. 🙃 I'm hoping I can give you good information regardless of this setback. Also, please don't feel bad about asking questions; I honestly enjoy it, especially since some information can be hard to come by. All my information is merely advice and suggestions based on my own experience, but I hope it's helpful to you - and maybe even others - regardless.

The first thing I'll do is share some links that could be helpful for you. This one talks a bit about Deity Disconnect™ - something that I feel I can safely say has happened to every pagan and polytheist. Sometimes faith and spirituality come in waves, ebbing in and out as naturally as the ocean, but it doesn't always mean that a deity has left us. If you'd like to try reconnecting with Apollo through bonding activities and the like, this link and that link both lead to posts that mention some ways you can bond with a deity. Although I'm not sure if any of these will be helpful to you, I hope that they are. 🧡

I feel it's also important to mention that many devotees of Apollo find it difficult to connect with him during the winter. For me, I feel the feeling of disconnect begin as early as the middle of Fall and stay as late as the very beginning of Spring. Many attribute this to the myth of Apollo leaving for Hyperborea and leaving his seat in Delphi for Dionysus to temporarily take over. If you've been trying to reconnect during Winter, or even potentially Fall, the disconnect from Apollo may feel even stronger than usual because of this. I would wait to readdress this issue with him until Spring rolls around, personally, just in case this disconnect could be contributing to your problem at all.

Along with all that, I'm inclined to ask whether you've addressed this topic with him directly. Have you been able to communicate with Apollo directly about this and get his thoughts? In my experience, deities will typically let you know if they're stepping away, rather than yoinking away super suddenly and without a given cause (or at the very least, they are more than willing to provide a reason if you ask them); this tends to be especially true when it comes to deities you've been very close with in the past. If you haven't already, I'd highly encourage you to speak with Apollo in a format that allows him to provide a response to your questions, such as divination or meditation.

I do also have to say that sometimes deities leave but return later. It's entirely possible he is simply taking a break or stepping away temporarily. Maybe he feels you need to focus on other deities more at this time or he has simply taught all he can (or all that's relevant) at the moment. He could return full force later on in your life, be it a few days from now or a few years. This is something I'd ask him about specifically in order to clarify his intentions.

Ok, but what if he really is leaving and doing so in a more permanent fashion? Well, in that case, I encourage you to do whatever feels right for you. Take down his altar, or leave it up; it's entirely your choice. Even when deities leave our lives, they never truly leave, and most of the time, if we need a deity's help, we are still welcome to call upon their aid, even if they've "left". It's also possible that he is still ok with you worshipping or venerating him, even if he does choose to step away. There are some deities that I mostly just venerate but don't do much else past that, and that's perfectly ok. Sometimes it just feels nice to acknowledge a deity and show them appreciation, even if you're not particularly close to them. These are all things you need to have a direct conversation with Apollo about, however, as I cannot speak for him or what he is comfortable with.

Although it can feel like a waste of time, energy, and hell even money, please do remember that it is never truly a waste if your relationship to Apollo meant something - and still means something - to you. You put genuine time, love, and care into the altar you created, and regardless of what happens going forward, I'm sure he still appreciates that. It's important to know that when a deity feels the need to step away, it's not because they stop caring for you or the time you've spent together; they simply feel it's in your best interest for them to be more distant for the time being, but regardless, they are still there. They are still present in the world and life around you. Apollo can still be felt in the warmth of the sun on your skin and the rush of excitement you feel when the beat of music reverberates in your chest. He is still near, even if he feels far. He is still there, even if he feels absent. These are not things you're required to focus on or even acknowledge, however, if it makes you uncomfortable or you'd rather terminate your relationship with Apollo. I just figure it may be comforting to hear.

If the following doesn't apply to you at all or you simply disagree with my perspective, please feel free to completely disregard all this; it's heavily based on my own personal experience and beliefs. Do you work with Apollo or worship him? I know it sounds rather silly and somewhat ridiculous to ask, but I have personally noticed a significant change in my deity relationships when I focused more on worship than work. I have noticed that, a lot of times, deity work can end in that deity eventually departing because the things you're working on can eventually be resolved or improved enough that you no longer need them. To me, personally, deity worship often has a more permanent meaning, although that obviously doesn't ring true for everyone. If you were doing deity work with Apollo, it's entirely possible that he feels he's helped you the best he can with whatever you originally reached out about and has decided that you no longer need his assistance or guidance. If that's the case (which it obviously could not be), then you can absolutely ask him if he's comfortable switching your relationship to something that is more long-term worship based rather than short-term "please assist me with this specific thing" based. And since I'm sure someone will mention it, I do want to acknowledge that there is nuance in every type of deity relationship, and you can absolutely have a long-term "deity work" based relationship and a short-term "deity worship" based relationship. There are exceptions to everything, and everything contains nuance and complexity. I don't want to discount either of those things; this is just me sharing something based on my personal understanding, and no one has to take me at face-value.

Anyway, I hope I was able to answer your question and give you some suggestions or advice that helps. Regardless, I hope you're able to figure this situation out and that Apollo can address you more directly about it. I wish you the best on your spiritual journey. Take care, and have a good day/night. 🧡

[wintercherryblossomsstuff]

WORST KISS EVER

Summary: lunch break offers conversations about worst kisses

Warnings: nothing (only my ugly writing probably)

Word count: 1k

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Finding myself eating shrimps for lunch has become quite the habit for me since I’ve started to work at the Five-O. Not that I mind, Kamekona’s ability to put those little commas in every dish and make it taste amazing is outstanding.

I transferred to Hawaii a little over a year ago, after my previous team was dismembered. Originally I had to get into HPD, but my curriculum caught the attention of the governor who presented me to Commander Mcgarrett… from that point after my life completely changed.

Working in the Hawaiian finest task force has been a blast… literally. It has been fun and, after so long, I finally feel like I've found Family; I also get blown up or shot at almost daily, but that’s beside the point and every time it feels like a little “get closer” moment. That’s what happens when you work with those five people. It’s almost like they attract bombs and bullets.

Somehow, the picnic tables at the truck always end up being witnesses to the most unhinged conversations between me, Danny, Kono, Chin, Lou, sometimes even Kamekona himself and Steve… today the topic, rigorously picked by Kono, is our first kiss.

“Oh, come on! It can not have been that bad!” that’s what she said, to which i replied “Kono, believe me…. It was, like, really bad”. I can't help but laugh at the memory. “In our defense, we were inexperienced teenagers, but still… it was bad and not even because we didn’t know how to kiss, but because the atmosphere and location were awful.” It was stupid of me to think that this would have been a good enough explanation for my nosey friends, in fact i shouldn’t have said a thing to begin with because now they will pester me till i don’t tell them every single detail.

“Surely you can go into more depth about it, no?” Lou chimes in with his usual sarcastic and witty tone, wiggling his eyebrows as everyone nods their heads in agreement. I roll my eyes and mutter to myself “I need to learn and shut my damn mouth”; after a moment of silence I sigh “it was during a game of truth or dare when I was a sophomore in high school, while on a school trip to a ranch.” “There are so many things in what you just said that sound so wrong, but please… continue.” I stick my tongue out at Danny after he, of course, comments on what I just said. “Anyways…you know how it goes. The same, overplayed movie cliche: I pick dare so I have to kiss the person I think is hot in the room. It was a disaster. We didn’t know how to kiss and we were in a stable, in front of everyone else and there was also a very strong smell of shit,” I explain “would not recommend.” Laughs erupt, obviously. “You could say it was a shitty situation.” “I'll pretend like I didn't hear that, Chin.” Seriously, that was a lame joke, but I can't help the chuckle escaping my mouth because, considering everything… it was, indeed, a shitty moment and the joke was just begging to be said.

At the end of our lunch break I stay behind to clean up, I hate to leave a mess for other people to clean. I guess that the few years of serving at restaurants in my teens really left an impact. Staying behind, though, gives me the opportunity to talk to Steve: “you have a habit, you know that?” “What habit?” he replies a bit confused as he puts the beer bottles in the trash. “You observe people having fun, more than you actually join in the conversation… you tend to do that quite a lot.” Looking at him, I just smile softly. He looks like a big tough guy, but he’s really a big softy. That’s one of the reasons why it was impossible for me not to fall for him. Steve always avoids sharing his feeling, what he doesn’t realize is that he has certain habits that show how he's really feeling and what is going through his head; some are more obvious than others: passing his hand on his chin when he’s mad, clenching his teeth when he’s irritated but can’t say anything or arching an eyebrow when he’s confused or he’s judging you… others are a little harder to identify because they are not something we all do:: him looking at the people that he loves having fun and smiling to himself being the first one. He’s not the type of guy to sit down with you and have a heart-to-heart conversation with you, but he will call you up and invite you out to do anything, just to distract you from whatever you have going on and he will remember everything that you told him about, even the smallest detail.

“I just like to see other people have fun, you know…” he shrugs. “Yeah…” I start “well, how about your worst kiss?” I ask, as we walk to his truck, ready to get back to work. “Oh man…” The cryptic response makes me chuckle. “Oh come on, it can’t be worse than mine…” Both the passenger and driver doors are closed shut. “I mean… we went to my house after the date and we were having fun, till my dad got back home earlier from work and found us making out on the couch. It was pretty embarrassing and then I had to listen to my dad giving me the talk…” “ow, that’s- yeah…" I raise my eyebrows and tilt my head as he starts the engine, driving then towards the Ali’iolani Hale palace.

When the car comes to a stop and we exit it walking toward the entrance, getting a message from Kono about a pretty big twist in the case we are working on, that leaves us rushing to the office and impatient to catch another criminal.

~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~

Author: thank you @mayberrycryptid for the prompt idea💕. I hope you and everyone else that read it like it. Also let me know your thoughts. I had fun writing it!

[aspd-culture]

What does the ego/arrogance look like in ASPD?

So, for me and many pwASPD I know, it doesn’t look like what you’d expect. I don’t necessarily think I’m more attractive than other people or other “classic” types of arrogance. That’s (afaik) more associated with NPD. Whilst I do tend to think I’m smarter/more clever than a lot of people, the main way my ego shows is through insignificant and usually somewhat weird or niche things. I keep all my boxes in Pokémon organized and I bet my system is better than yours. I don’t go to the bathroom the second my body tells me it has to, because that’s “weak” and I’m too cool for that. I’m in control of what my body does and when, while everyone else lives their life as a slave to their vessel. I can type pretty damn fast despite not using the “correct” way to type. Stuff like that.

Also, more importantly than *what* your arrogant about is *how* you’re arrogant about it. pwASPD don’t generally hold onto that ego for long. I can very quickly and easily be forced out of it for literally no reason. The thought may just occur to me how stupid it is that I think that makes me better than everyone, or I’ll realize how many people in the world probably do the same thing, or I realize that Pokémon box sorting is pretty subjective and there’s really no way to be better at it than anyone else besides people who literally don’t do it - in which case, doesn’t that make them cooler than me for being able to function with a completely unsorted box system? Doesn’t that make *me* the weak one? And what’s the *real* likelihood that I’m actually smarter than most people while still being an unknown rando. If I was that smart, than why aren’t I smart enough to brute force my executive function? If I was so much better than everyone, why can’t I do *insert random thing that literally has no basis in your value as a human*.

This isn’t the same as a crash for pwNPD. It doesn’t shake my worldview or come as extremely distressing to me, it’s just a passing thought and then I can move on. My identity is not bothered at all by either the arrogant feeling or the realization, and the ego in general in ASPD is just… very fickle and overall unreliable, so I never really get used to liking, loving, disliking, or hating myself. It’s like genderfluidity for my ego.

At least, that’s how it works for me.

[timetravelbypen]

☕️ pockets!!!

*runs away cackling*

Ahaha hey wait come back here!!! :P

I really do need to read that book about pockets that I have but convincing my brain to read academic nonfiction is even harder than fiction these days... *pokes brain* Come on, need new Pocket Facts! Anyway, one of the big reasons that women's clothes tend to have fewer pockets these days isn't, as is often stated, to force women to also buy purses (although that's a capitalistic side benefit, surely), but Because The 1920s. Prior to that in varying capacities, you had a) support structures like corsets/stays and hoop skirts/bustles/panniers to help balance the weight of everything in the pockets and b) usually quite a lot of skirt to hide the existence of said pockets. Prior to the 1920s, the "fashionable silhouette" was achieved less by altering the PERSON and more by padding and bustles and big shoulder poofs and all that, so there was lots of space to hide pockets. But during the 1920s the silhouette changed (and has since then been the issue of the "fashionable silhouette" just being a person's actual BODY which is..... its own whole thing) and the fabrics used to achieve it did too. It is hard to put pockets in floaty chiffon, partly because it's sheer, and partly because if anything heavy is in said pocket it'll stretch and pull the garment out of shape or just rip right through it. And then a lot of modern clothes are cut pretty close to a person's body, so there's just less SPACE to put pockets in.

That being said, men's clothes have always had more pockets than women's clothes, to the point where they have pockets in absolutely ridiculous places and don't know what to put in them/look very silly fishing them out, hence this slightly ridiculous but otherwise very lovely video of Zach Pinsent's fiance digging a ring box out of his tail coat pocket to propose.

Anyway I can fit SO MUCH STUFF in the pockets of the skirts I've made for myself, and it's great, also everybody check if you've got sewn-shut pockets in your jackets because that happens sometimes.

This has been Pocket Ranting with Caitlin, thank you, I'll be here all week.

[toburnup]

okay i LOVED learning those most recent tidbits about your writing process, especially approx how long it can take you to write/edit! makes me feel so much better about my own wips lmao. especially with something as complex as iylo. i think it’s the easy-going kinda flow or vibe of your writing (though dgmw, you know how to make every line pack a serious punch) that made me assume you tend to bang this shit out hella quick… when in reality it sounds like it takes a pretty reasonable (“reasonable”) amt of time.

on this note i am so curious about your drafting process. like, how do you not get caught up fleshing out all the details in the moment? am i just terrible at writing outlines? feels like i’m always setting a hard goal to write short standalones but they always get out of hand

hahahah oh good, i'm glad it was interesting!!! i'd say my writing style on here is very casual, so. i like that that's the vibe i give off 😌

!! the drafting process! it's messy but it usually goes something like this (long post ahead!)

i start by writing dialogue or a specific moment from the scene i'm most excited to get to. i don't force myself to start at the beginning because who even knows where the beginning is.

dialogue can be a good place to start because it can lay out a whole dynamic in just a few exchanges (the best example i can think of this is when i wrote thirty days, because the first part i wrote was the "you should probably leave" - "why?" - "'cause i'm going to jerk off" - "i don't want to go" - "fine. stay." exchange which set up the whooole fic)

....and then i keep writing until i run out of steam lol. if i'm writing a scene and need to jump ahead because of an idea or whatnot, i just type // so i know i need to come back there (easy to search the doc for a symbol of some kind when it comes to editing). can't think of a specific word? i just pop a // in there as a placeholder.

once i've written out the meatier bit (ugh), i go back to the scene i started with, and then write backwards from there until i find a spot that feels like it could be the beginning (i mean i say that, but this is usually a lot of jumping around).

and that's the first draft!

i don't outline ahead of time, or write out plot points or anything. mostly because a) i have no idea what's gonna happen and b) i like character-driven stories and i find those motivations by writing them

that's the big reason i write dialogue without an end goal in mind - sometimes writing the lines or hearing them in my head takes the conversation in a different direction than i would've originally planned, and that can lead to some Good Moments

i’m always setting a hard goal to write short standalones but they always get out of hand

this happens to me too, for sure. i've found it's helpful to move away from the setup portions of a fic. and also being okay with things not being 100% clear (in terms of motivation, characters feelings, all that) and leaving some gaps for the reader to fill. and also being okay with your writing being misinterpreted.

idk if this is helpful at all!! my main thing is don't stop yourself from fleshing out the details. if there's a big scene you want to get to, don't force yourself to slog through the parts you don't want to write just to get there. i find it's almost easier to do it that way, because then you get to write the earlier parts with the question of: "what choices do they make to become the people in that scene?"

don't deprive yourself!! if you want to delve right into the details, do it.

[captain-astors]

Can you do Kaneki for 003 :)))

Mhm! That beautiful mess, the culmination of all I despise but the vessel through which we all must perceive this world. I’d like to shake him like a maraca. This one definitely contains… opinions. As usual it's messy and ramble-ish but I enjoyed it.

How I feel about this character: Wow you're so interesting I wish I could still care after 320 something chapters. Born to “slay” as the youth say, in all meanings of the word, forced to do math. Sometimes I imagine what sound he would make if smacked against a wall. Constantly, actually. I can effectively emulate it with an almost empty water bottle, a thin piece of fabric, a piece of metal, and a slab of gelatin, but I only have access to two of those and it’s not the ones you think. I cannot stress how much I want post-Haise Kaneki dead for plot reasons, but I do think he’s pretty neat before whatever the result of the Tsukiyama extermination arc is. I do like him, but I try not to ponder him too deeply because if I started getting seriously attached to him as a person, I’d have to be disappointed about his character as well. I’m already not normal about so many of them. So he’s more of a secondhand skrunkle, I watch a decent portion of the rest of the fandom go wild and sit back and tend to my own neglected favorites. Like observing a neighbor’s garden, larger than mine but wilder, containing so many varieties of plants I can no longer distinguish them, and perhaps a bit overgrown. Was he the first piece of Tokyo Ghoul art I ever drew? Yes- well no actually that was probably Nishiki or Shuu but I never posted those because they were just sketches, but he was the first that I posted, and kind of my gateway to deciding to let myself brainrot over TG without shame (mostly). So I owe some amount of gratitude to him. 

But at the same time he fills me with a deep sadness for what might’ve been. Tokyo Ghoul was praised for having some kind of ground-breaking protagonist but he just feels... edgy at the end of it, handed an undeserved win. Sorry.

(So an update from later this very same day, I drew him and now I want to hug him. NO. I MUST PERSEVERE. Alright Kuroneki is kind of cute and his nickname sounds like Kuroneko (As in the trigun cat) and I love Kuroneko.)

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Protagonists are funny things to ship because they can be shipped with almost anyone. Almost the entire main cast? Been there and done that. Every character he’s been friends with? Certainly. Rivals? No rivalry is complete without a little homoeroticism. The villain? Is that even a question. That random character who appeared for half a  chapter? Someone’s probably done it. It’s difficult to pick a favorite but frankly I’m not particularly partial to any of them. Shuuneki is fun but it just feels out of character as soon as it becomes remotely healthy which is what all that pining causes me to intrinsically want which in turn annoys me so… I enjoyed it before I actually learned the story. Now I just can’t fathom truly enjoying a fic about them without leaving frustrated because at any given point, one or the other of them just wouldn’t work. Also I really want Kaneki to die alone. But though I’ll never be extremely passionate about it, I do think that Hidekane is kind of the best one. Like it’s not my ship but from an outsider's perspective I look at it and just go huh. Neat. This one actually seems non-headache inducing. I’m slowly consuming more of it but at the same time Hide deserves much better. I can’t fix you but I can hold your hand as you crumble or something. I will take this time to rant about Tou//ken. God help us all. I will start off with what I like because I am terrified of being burned at the stake by the shippers who actually read through this for some reason. Aesthetically, cool. As individuals, love them. Conceptually, it had great potential. I don’t think it ever could’ve been my otp but I could’ve enjoyed this. Now. DEAR GOD I HONESTLY ADMIRE THOSE WHO SHIP IT FOR EITHER HAVING THE IGNORANCE OR SHEER WILLPOWER TO ENJOY IT DESPITE THAT WRITING. It would be easier to ship two characters who we’ve never seen interact whatsoever (stares at my terrible rarepairs I would know) than to repair this trainwreck, so I suppose that’s a testament to your tenacity or your willingness to ignore the holes. I swear my copy of TG was missing chapters WHERE was their development. They only did things for each other when instructed to or in life or death situations when opposed by a greater threat, only thought fondly of each other when not together, and then got married and kids despite Kaneki being in a mental state nowhere near “intact enough to live a functional existence” must less raise CHILDREN. Like I refuse to believe Kaneki would be a great father. “Something, something breaking the cycle of a loveless life.” Where. Where did he learn to love healthily? Touka? Where? Where is that shown? They interact so briefly in such high-stress scenarios how the HELL am I supposed to know?

 Dear god I knew these two were going to get together. I steeled myself for it. I tried to enjoy it I swear I did but it feels like the marriage arc skipped the love arc and I don’t know how I’m supposed to appreciate the shell of a relationship left behind. But I respect those who manage. Like, if a character (Ayato) can go on a brief trip and come back UNDER A FEW DAYS LATER to find out, with absolutely no warning that his SIBLING is married to a guy now, maybe you’re moving just a little fast! Someone please explain this to me I feel like I'm losing my mind.

The Vegas wedding of Tokyo Ghoul, getting hitched in a cave while a homophobic gay horror creature exterminates 98% of your kind.

Also I find it funny that she managed to date a guy who both looks and acts so much like her dad. Touka you can do so much better you are leagues above this guy.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: If Haise is included, Akira and the Quinxes. Family. If Haise is not included, probably… Hinami. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: Oh boy. He doesn’t really listen to anyone, and his cycle of self sacrifice for others because it’s the easiest route out is ANNOYING AS HELL. Points are made about it, but does he ever change? No he just keeps trying to die for “the sake of others” until the very end and keeps escaping the actual consequences, while others who have something to live for ACTUALLY DIE for his stupid martyr complex and I am SICK OF IT. He only fights for those he cares about because he’s afraid of being alone which is a very human desire but we never see him grow in it, he just keeps ignoring whatever he doesn’t want to hear, keeps letting himself almost die but he’s still “virtuous” and not a murderer to the narrative. Because the restaurant ghouls dared to have fun with the terrible cards they were dealt, so they deserved it! Because those humans in the dragon incident didn’t care, so they deserved it! And besides he wasn’t conscious anyways! Because Furuta dared to try to break the system that Kaneki decided wasn’t real, because he wanted to make sure the world never created a child like him again, so he deserved it! I could deal with him if the narrative actually treated him like what he is, “morally grey” is not an excuse to his actions it’s a byproduct, so just saying “it’s alright because he’s morally grey” doesn’t fix any of the issues with his inconsistencies! With his lack of growth beyond just getting worse, and being handed a happy ending anyways! Also why are all of his stans silent as the grave I hear barely a WHISPER out of you creatures yet you appear like phantoms to salivate over him when art is made and to sweep polls. I know perhaps 3 people who both actively post and I know for a fact would declare Kaneki their favorite. Where are the rest of you? WHERE ARE YOU HIDING? But godspeed to you.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: He feels so overwritten at the end, I really wish he either died, or that :re had gone the csm route and had a different protagonist. For our candidates for a new protagonist I would nominate: Hide. An exploration of a character who was born into a world that was hurting him, but chose to love ghouls anyways. Who chose to keep being a good person no matter how hard it was, (WHAT KANEKI DOES, DOES NOT COUNT AS BEING A “GOOD PERSON.”) He’d be a refreshing air of positivity and hope from Kaneki’s internal monologue. It’s so desolate it makes me want to commit amusing vandalism just to remember that bright colors are real and very lovely. I don’t have the energy to write out full explanations for all of them but I’d also nominate any of the Quinx squad members, Juuzou (I just want more Hanbee), Ayato, Amon, or Furuta. Or making Haise a person with a separate body.

Favorite friendship for this character: If Haise counts Juuzou, if not Banjou or Ayato.

My crossover ship: I’m tempted to say knives as a joke because they have the same english voice actor, (Who does a fantastic job as both but MAN his voice goes deep in tristamp.) Anyways Vash I guess. Go be self-sacrificial together you fools. (affectionate connotation for one, indifferent for the other.)

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @local-single-wizard

Who You Are:

Whonsper || They/them

A fanfic writer by heart, with no fandom at the moment. I also have an annoying tendency to bite off more than I can chew when it comes to writing, but I have wonderful ideas all the same, if I do say so.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Adventure, comedy, fanfic, fantasy, romance, sci-fi, and tragedy. Young and new adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Fantasy, I love to freedom the genre gives. I've always been interested in the kinds of creatures one could come up with, and what kind of silly adventures they could go on! And because it's such a large genre with no set rules, I can make up whatever lore I want for whoever I want. But there's always that feeling like a spark in your eye, tasting adventure with each breath, even if the characters have lived there their whole lives; the reader gets to taste that world now!

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

History, despite my interest in history. I personally know many history nerds, and have seen plenty online as well, to know they would never be satisfied with any history story, no matter how well researched. I'm usually one to over-research even, and I'm too scared to touch the genre because I'm far too lazy to research every tiny detail, like the minimum wage in buttfuck nowhere, Alabama in 1952 and how it affects my characters in the next country. I simply don't have the mental energy.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Usually myself, because I write exactly what I would want to read. Outside of that, my next targets are anyone that feels anything that I feel, any neurodivergents or aspecs or anyone that feels isolated in the world for reasons they cant quite articulate. For anyone outside of that sphere, I would hope they could understand a little better what others are feeling, at the very least, and sympathize with those people that feel like my characters.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

I really like found family, finding platonic love, as well as enemies to lovers (I know what that says about me). Anything where I can introduce a character that doesn't fit, especially if they're a "monster" (usually literally), and pour my love for them onto the page through my other characters, or give them a home where they feel safe to be themselves. Bonus points if I can make them love the world around them, and in turn learn to love themselves. Enemies to lovers has a very fun dynamic that I really like playing with, especially if I can subvert expectations.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

I'm not a big fan of any 'Chosen One' stories, because they feel cheap. Especially if there's no secondary pov or no fight to be that chosen one. I don't want my heroine to be handed their responsibility, their greatness; I want them to fight for it, to want it, to beat others for it. I want a story to prove to me why I should care about this person being the Chosen One over others, or it'll feel like this was a bit of a weak choice to me as a reader.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

I've recently made the switch from all my writing being fanfiction to writing original stories, thus scrapping many of my earlier ideas, or at least shelving them for later use. I'm jumping between a couple ideas right now, but one I'm most passionate about is about a guardian angel, with a strong distrust of humans, being forced to Earth to find a person who he'll spend his life looking over. Overwhelmed with this new world, he starts following the first human to show him even a bit of kindness, much to the human's mixed amusement and irritation. Over time, they grow closer, with the human learning more about the angel, who they are as a being and how they feel about the world. The angel learns so much about the world, and slowly breaks down his distaste and prejudice against humans. I've had the idea for this since 2019, even writing a chapter of fanfiction following this premise, but since starting to rewrite it I've been mulling it over in new context for about 2 months.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

I write because it's a release of my thoughts, and also because I thrive off of validation. I keep writing for all the people in my life that have ever believed in me, or have written with me. Special shoutout to my 11 year old brother who would come in my room everyday for 3 months and ask to work on our fantasy choose-your-own-adventure story, and always had the most creative ideas.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

I first accepted writing as my preferred medium when I was probably 13, but I've been complimented on my writing since I was 8 years old. I think I was first drawn to it because it's a way to get my thoughts out when I can't figure out how to verbally articulate them. I have adhd so figuring out what I'm trying to say while staying on topic is very difficult sometimes, and I get lost very often. I'm constantly confused in daily life, so writing is a place where I can have control and know exactly what I'm doing and what I've just done.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

I get a lot of my inspiration from reading other writer's stories, or even hearing people's personal life stories. Many of my stories include elements I've seen in other places, little bits that another writer has in their story that I've become inspired by and put in my story. Another big source of inspiration is actually just random pictures, because I love trying to figure out why this would make sense, or inversely what subversion is happening in this picture right below the surface. My current project was partially inspired by works I've read in the past, but from the very beginning was inspired by a picture of a celebrity wearing angel wings, back when it was a fanfiction.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

It's an unfinished, almost scrapped piece that I came up with last November, but one which I immediately became so obsessed with and thought about constantly. It's about a young person who learns that he has the ability to time travel, only backwards, never forward. He uses it too often for mundane reasons and very quickly loses control of it, and is thus sent hurtling back in time uncontrollably. He relishes what time he spends in these periods, meeting new people and gathering new friends and making a small life for himself before he's inevitably whisked away to the next time with no warning. He's accompanied by an immortal, who he's meeting backwards in time, and who is there every time he jumps, there to catch him up to the time and make sure he's okay. The two become a very close family, but there's the looming question of how far back will he go?

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

I haven't, it wasn't even on my radar until just recently, when my stepmom offhandedly mentioned that she knew I would get published one day, that she was waiting for it, and she would of course buy any of my books or short stories. She said she's always believed in me, and always been a huge supporter of my writing. So yes, I would love to publish a story, even just a little short story, for her.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

I love coming up with the plot, and interweaving little details, whether for my own amusement or for the sake of a better story. I'll spend so long on that step, coming up with more and more lore for the story and turning a little short story into a beast. I'm not a fan of the first draft, because that is always the hardest for me. I'm a perfectionist so it's very hard for me to accept that my writing is not going to be perfect on the first pass, and it honestly shouldn't be! I've been working on accepting imperfect writing, but it's very difficult.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

My process is pure chaos, and definitely not effective. It usually starts with me texting my best friend about some crazy idea, rambling for at least half an hour, usually closer to 2 hours, about this cool new idea I've had, just putting any unintelligible bullshit that comes to mind. She'll give her take on it, give me some ideas, help me shape the idea, get rid of ideas that just won't work, help me sort out a plot, then I copy all these notes into a google doc and sort them. From there I try to write the filler between everything we've talked about. Then I refine it down, over and over again until it sounds okay.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

I'm not even sure I am a writeblr, to be honest. I started the writing blog only about a month or so ago, but I've only been interacting with other writeblrs in the past week or so I'd say. I actually got more in to the community because of a writeblr valentines event, the one that pens-swords-stuff hosted just recently.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

@pens-swords-stuff, of course. Scrolling their page has helped me figure out how to engage in the community as well as fix my blog (I'm still working on that one). also @monstrousfreedom, absolutely fantastic stuff on that blog, and writes things that I'm very interested in.

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

The sheer difference between any writers, I've never seen such a large community with such different tastes hype each other up, even if some of those people absolutely do not make the same content, or even consume the same content.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

Being so new to the community, I haven't seen anything just yet. Everyone seems so nice and open to talking to others, even newer people like myself. I've only seen positivity so far from writeblrs.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I could absolutely be doing more. As of right now, I don't interact too terribly much, as I'm still trying to get set up and find my feet in the community. But I'm trying to worm my way into the community through events like this, getting my name on people's dashes so I don't feel so bad about posting my own writing, or ranting about my wips to no one.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

I love interacting with any post that asks questions about your current wip. I love talking about my writing, even if it's just to myself in the tags.

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

My own writing ideas, or a story that a specific song felt like.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

@whonsper, my main blog, or on discord, whonsper#9454

Questions For Fun:

If you could time travel, what time period would you go to? Why?

If I could time travel, I'd probably want to go back to ancient Rome. It seems like the safest option, what with women owning property and indoor plumbing and all, but I'm also really interested in learning about what life was like back then. What small details of life have slipped under our radar but are prevalent in day to day life for ancient Romans? What's similar about human nature and culture through all of time? What hidden gems do they have that historians today would be pissing themselves to get?

If your writing was a food, what foof would it be and why?

I'd want to say my writing is like a bowl of soup. I always want it to feel comfortable and natural reading my stories, but you never know what you're gonna get. Is it cheddar broccoli today with a side of high fantasy romance? It is Italian wedding soup with some magical realism? Is it chicken noodle like your mom used to make, but oh no I've done something to your beloved fairytale. Or maybe I just really like soup.

Do you have a favorite fantasy creature? What makes it your favorite?

Through the years, I've picked up my brother's love of dragons. The amount of magic you can play around with in dragons is incredible, and with so many different breeds and physical characteristics and personalities. They're also very intelligent, which leads to them usually being even more of a problem than anyone signed up for, which I love. They're an incredibly versatile creature to see used in fantasy, and I always get super excited when I see one.

[nonbinarygamzee]

Dave thoughts? I'm very curious about your hatred for that guy (if that makes sense)

HAHA ok so admittedly maybe my posts about how much i hate him are a bit overblown because i basically think its really funny that he only comes up on my blog if i am being a hater. integral to understand that while i post "fandom" content on here that i dont really think of this as a fandom blog so much as a blog where i come to have conversations with myself and so naturally just bc of who i am a lot of my little posts are full of context and meaning i never bother to externalize because they are for me to reread later and have a little chuckle about.

anyways. theres a lot of reasons i find him grating but i can at least admit it that a lot of my annoyance has more to do with the way i was forced to slog through strider manpain posts endlessly as a teenager any direction i tried to look. when the fandom seemed hyperfocused on him and his woes while actively sending me like graphic gore at like age 14 for saying hey maybe this other character also deserves some sympathy and maybe even analysis that has more to say than why they are an evil irredeemable monster for being unstable as a child. which yknow that isnt daves fault but man even without that part it was tiring to see all of the emotional depth constantly boxed into his corner. and then to repeatedly have the comics itself affirm all of this as valid exploration and then ridicule me for My exploration. for many many years the strider manpainisms made me not bother with dirk just on principle even though today hes one of the more interesting characters to me! so i can admit im not being totally "fair" here but well. as usual i think the fandom darlings can handle a fraction of the disdain ive see thrown my favies ways constantly for over a decade.

and like none of that to say i dont Get why people do this with him or that he deserved anything he got as a kid or it wasnt abuse or whatever. let the records show that i think it is Wrong to terrorize your brotherson with swords and sex puppets. im a feminist.

more rooted in the reality of the comic itself though i just find it grating how often daves sole function in a scene is to be the authors mouthpiece and specifically often in ways where you are meant to implicitly agree with the things he is saying irregardless of whether they are a centrist gen x nightmare opinion because its also the larger opinion of homestuck as an entity. dave is far from the only character to do this and id say any of the characters you could comfortably refer to as the "protagonists" actually end up slipping into this fairly often. that said the other biggest offenders imo are karkat, egbert and terezi and i also have feelings of extreme ambivalence for terezi and to be honest an outright disinterest in egbert. so. i am at least consistent about it! karkats my special guy but i need him hunted for sport and tortured until he stops being this and largely the things he believe that make me feel that way heavily align with the opinions the comic depicts as mostly right and again tend to be moments hussies worldview is bleeding into the narrative especially openly.

anddd ok. i just find daves personality grating on top of it. i cant sit here and pretend ive never laughed at a dave strider dialogue but generally a lot of the parts people find very funny are parts i tend to come away having seen the thousanth iteration of dave having his worldview affirmed and getting to do some #awesome clapback at the person insinuating he even try to think outside of his own preconceived ideas about what things should be like. in general in a story so full of characters doing bad things it just grates on me that, while his offenses are certainly usually "minor" in the grand scheme of things, the lack of willingness to challenge them often just means like dave gets to be right and nobody remembers when he actually massively fucks someone else up or makes them feel worse. like to be clear none of this is a problem in that characters cant "do bad things", i literally like vriska, but it would be cool if we could at least like. acknowledge that theyre anything but entertaining even within the context of the universe where other characters should be allowed to be uncomfortable when hes actively creepy or uses their emotional breaking points as a soapbox for how He feels. but since it would cause this big rift in how homestuck itself presents the opinions it wants you to agree with, those characters just..... not only do not mind most of the time but even if they do its never in a way that allows them agency in the matter. thats the crux of it all for me actually, hes by far one of the most autonomous characters of the bunch and it feels frequently like his agency is at the expense of others because hes a self insert.

um ok tldr hes annoying and him being the Face of homestuck is like..... accurate but in the most painful nightmare way because he kind of just. Is homestuck. to me.

(and i actually do see iterations of him sometimes that i find compelling but they all feel so detached from how hes presented in the comic that it just feels like someones oc. all of this said also i actually kind of have an absurd amount of thoughts on how he would act post game (epilogues ignored here) just i dont bother to do much with em because dave likers would hate it and other dave haters probably wouldnt care enough lol. also always secondary info anyways, hes finally allowed irrelevency in My city)

[ashleyfanfic]

For the fan fiction writer asks! 3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? 20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? 35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? 68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do? 76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Also I'm sorry you've had only negative asks lately, I hope this cheers you up 💜

First off, you beautiful angle! You put the question in the ask! Second, yeah every now and then you just catch some shit cause people are assholes who feel they can say and do whatever they want behind a screen.

Now onto the questions!

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? If they are Jonerys, I share them with my soul mate @justwandering-neverlost cause any opportunity we have to write together I’m gonna take. I know I’ve also shared some Dramione fic ideas with my friend, Kim, who used to write fic but now is a fucking publish author! But usually I tend to keep them to myself cause who the hell knows when inspiration will hit?

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? AUs. Sigh, case and point, just yesterday we got a comment on our Dragon Dark and Deep fic that was complaining that our military strategy wasn’t good. For three paragraphs. Like, come on, my reasoning for writing that fic is NOT to come up with sound strategy. It was to make these two people start banging before they met in season 7 and make them twisted for each other. I couldn’t actually give a fuck about military strat. You wanna read that? Go find a book written by George Patton. Me, I’m here to make two hot people bang a lot.

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? The first thing that came to mind was Legends of Winter’s Peak. Not only because I got to write it with JW and made the best friend I could ever hope for/have, but because it’s the most complete story in terms of character arcs, relationship arcs, main and side players. The writing process for that story was hands down the most fun I ever had writing. Which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy writing other things or even other fics with JW, but that one owns my whole ass soul.

68. Are there any fics that influence you to write the way you do? I can’t say there are specific fics but specific writers. I’ve been reading fan fic since I was 14 and I started with X-Men’s Rogue/Gambit. But through all the fandoms, I’ve learned more from writers and their process that makes sense. Kim actually had me planning out stories. I was a notorious pantser before and my stories would have more holes in it than Swiss cheese. So when I started LotB (Love on the Brain) I knew that with so many POVs and relationships, I couldn’t do it that way. @frostbitepandaaaaa has made me think harder about motivations for movements and reactions. Also, I respect someone that tears so hard into something I’m writing that it makes me question why I’m doing this. Because good critique can make you question it but their suggestions can also give you new life because she doesn’t see it the same why I do cause I’m too close. JW is so fucking phenomenal about adding in emotion to blocking dialogue. I’m a dialogue whore so I’ve never really cared about the stuff between, but the way she writes it actually makes me take a step back and go “huh, this can be better. What would JW do?” I don’t get close to how good she can make it, but it does make me think.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure externally or internally? I know this might piss someone off, but I don’t care about external pressure. I have a fic I Ah ent updated in 20 years that I was working on the other day. I write what I feel like writing. Internally, I can feel bad about not updating, but I also know I can’t force myself to write anything. That’s just not my way. I can try and get close but if it come down to me crying because I can’t get the words out, let me tell you that I don’t. I move on to something else like drawing, watching things on YouTube, napping. When I get inspiration, I get inspiration. I can’t force it.

Thank you for the asks!!