#also this had the fun experience of me thinking i had lost my ability to understand romani and it turned out it was just hungarian shdfkshdj

[scoobydoodean]

Okay so in 1.03 Dead In The Water, there's this exchange Sam and Dean have at one point in regards to Lucas—the little boy who watched his dad drown, who Dean connects with during the episode:

DEAN Andrea said the kid never drew like that till his dad died. SAM There are cases—going through a traumatic experience could make people more sensitive to premonitions, psychic tendencies. DEAN Whatever's out there, what if Lucas is tapping into it somehow? I mean, it's only a matter of time before somebody else drowns, so if you got a better lead, please.

And the last time I watched this episode, I went "Oh cool! A little Psychic!Sam Easter Egg." Right? Sam goes through the traumatic experience of losing Jess, and he's tapped into "whatever's out there" (the yellow eyed demon) and he's having premonitions about what he's going to do next. Which definitely makes a lot of sense.

But when I was gif-ing stuff from 1.03 today, I realized that... funnily enough, within the context of this episode we also have some fun stuff relating to the "slightly psychic Dean" posts that have gone around this year... Or if you prefer, Cassandra!Dean. Cassandra, in reference to the prophet in Greek myth, cursed by Apollo to utter true prophecies but never be believed.

Dean often knows when bad things are going to happen in Supernatural. He doesn't have visions—but he has "bad feelings" and makes predictions that turn out to be scarily accurate at times. Of course we can infer that Dean is just good at 1) reading people and 2) understanding how sequences of events tumble one by one in a row like so many dominoes. It's another sign of his incredible intelligence. But it IS fun to think about Dead In The Water as the first indication of Cassandra!Dean.

First, because Lucas has premonitions, and Lucas and Dean are paralleled and connect on an emotional level.

Dean and Lucas have similar traumatic childhood experiences. Both watched a parent die and both lost the ability to speak afterwards:

DEAN You're scared. It's okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe, your dad wants you to be brave too.

Dean is able to connect with Lucas through their shared traumatic experience. He's the only one who's able to get through to him—and after a short conversation and just drawing together for a while—much to his mom's shock. Dean is able to understand what Lucas is feeling without Lucas saying it.

Second, because Lucas has bad feelings that tell him the locations where the spirit will strike next, but no one listens to/believes him.

...Kind of like people usually don't listen to/believe Dean's bad feelings.

DEAN Anyway. Well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or, uh...or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything. You could draw me a picture about what you saw that day, with your dad, on the lake.

Of course, this line is just Dean paralleling Lucas with himself and his own reasons for not speaking, but it must hit home, because Lucas begins communicating with Dean through drawings.

Further, despite Sam also knowing Lucas is having premonitions, when Lucas reacts with extreme distress to the idea of going home and clings to Dean desperately, Sam still... doesn't think it means anything. He thinks the case is over.

Third, Dean has a bad feeling that the case isn't over, and Sam doesn't believe him.

The sheriff had just threatened to arrest them if they stayed in town, so of course going back to town is a big deal. When Dean turns around based on a bad feeling, Sam thinks he's just being paranoid.

SAM But Dean, this job, I think it's over. DEAN I'm not so sure. SAM If Bill murdered Peter Sweeney and Peter's spirit got its revenge, case closed. The spirit should be at rest. DEAN All right, so what if we take off and this thing isn't done? You know, what if we've missed something? What if more people get hurt? SAM But why would you think that? DEAN Because Lucas was really scared. SAM That's what this is about?

Dean sticks to his guns, and they arrive just in time to save Lucas's mother from drowning in a bathtub.

[2af-afterdark]

Would you believe me if I said I have some more ✨thots✨ on Omega MC in WHB?

Like how Beel/Bael is a two for one deal because MC’s sweet sweet heat pheromones are driving them crazy?

Or how everyone in Abbadon (idk if it’s one or two B’s) just are eagerly waiting to help (and by eagerly I mean fighting each other to have a chance)

Or how Naberius and Buer are just at each other because they should be helping the sweet “innocent” omega? (Dogs man /j)

I do wonder if you have any other thots on this, go as rabid and feral as you want for this, I live for Chaos

🦩

I saved this ask. I saved it for a rainy day. Today is my rainy day. fun fact: omegaverse is one of my comfort genres. I read it whenever I need a pick-me-up

First part

Bell would pop up in Avisos unexpectedly the moment MC enters their heat (he smelled it across all of Hell); walking into the sight of Bael already peeling open their shirt and groping them while his nose is buried against their neck to sniff at their sweet scent. They are both turned on by smell and a human omega is a new experience; a surprisingly sweet treat. Cut to MC in Bael's lap, his hands all over them, and Bell eating away at their wet entrance. MC will walk away covered it bite marks... if they could walk afterward, that is.

Abbadon is a complete toss up. I have the feeling a few members would be more than happy to work together (see Phenix and Ronove) but some may want MC along because they don't think the poor human could handle the session if they had to handle more than one devil all on their own. RIP to the cute omega, because those devils will still go back-to-back without giving them a proper break. Good thing Paradise Lost is always ready to lend a helping hand. Speaking of which....

Imagine Paradise Lost! The healers are no joke. If anyone knows how to be extra rough with a desperate omega, it has to be them. They have the terrifying ability of healing people to the point that it's like they were never injured at all. They can go pretty far as long as MC doesn't die or lose a limb... And considering how rotted an omega's brain could be during a heat, they may not even notice how rough the boys are being. All they know is that everything feels good.

But, yes, I think Naberius would be the worst™. Dog smells bitch in heat (affectionate) and loses his fucking mind. He would be humping MC so fast that they wouldn't be able to do much else than beg him for more. God save you if you try to come near his omega. He will bite you will all three of his mouths (I like to believe he turns into his Cerberus form when MC is sleeping so they can cuddle against the big puppy).

Glasyalabolas would be a jerk about it though. He lives for chaos. He would tease and torment MC without a hint of relief just so they keep spreading all those sweet omega pheromones and drive everyone else crazy. He'd watch the entirety of Hell turn into fistfights over MC... then he'd finally steal MC away and give them what they've been craving from him just so all the fighting was pointless and everyone else is left blue balled.

LEVIATHAN THOUGH! Just imagine him finding out MC is in heat! Imagine how quickly he grabs MC from wherever the fuck in Hell they are at that moment and stealing them away to his room so that he's the only one enjoying their sweet scent. Imagine how many days he spends with them completely drunk on their heat, loving on him and only him. Then imagine how envious he is after MC's heat passes because "do you only feel that way about me when your mind is addled?" so he makes them prove that's how they always feel about him for a few more days on top of it.

And what about Mammon?!?!?!?!?! Man owns the world and would gladly give it to MC in a heartbeat. He also has zero hang ups about sexual acts in public, so I can see him going about his day despite MC's heat and just letting them climb on top of him whenever they need it. Fuck! I wouldn't be surprised if the entirety of Tartaros is as their disposal and that they don't have someone waiting on them hand and foot between the the high points of their heat. I'm sure Bimet would jump at the chance, just saying.

And Satan... Dear sweet Satan would let them cling to him all day and they could have sex and roughly or as gently as they want. He's there for them as long as they need him. If anyone else comes sniffing, he will kick them across Gehenna. MC doesn't need anyone else coming around right now when they're so vulnerable.

Meanwhile, poor Minhyeok has to deal with getting back all their use panties that smell like heat and slick. Man may go into a rut and have enough cum to fill more than one jar. I'm sure MC will need all that extra love during and after their heat.

[soapyghostie]

I felt kinda weird sending a request cause we talk outside of here but oh well

Do you think you could write Nubbins and Danny with a reader who does photography, horror is one of the reasons I got into photography so idk, sorry if I worded this weird

I had the motivation to do one more for now since I haven’t been very productive in my classes so far today. Hope you enjoy!

The Ghost Face/Danny Johnson

OMG! Can he help?! Danny is drawn to your passion for photography because he loves photography too! He admires your ability to capture the beauty of the world around you, and he often finds him lost in the amazingly well shot photos you took. Almost as good as his photography skills. 

Danny, being a journalist under his alter ego Jed Olsen, understands your creative drive behind pursuing your passion for photography. When you express your desire to open a photography studio, he’s not only super supportive but also is excited about the prospect. He sees this as an opportunity for you to showcase your amazing talent and creativity to the world. He, also, wants to help you start and run your photography business too! 

As someone who appreciates the power of storytelling through images and his articles, Danny will bring up the idea of collaborating with you on various photography projects. He’ll even ask you to photograph events that he’s having to write about so he can publish your beautiful photographs for the whole town to see in his well written top tier articles. 

Danny understands the challenges of starting a new venture, especially in a competitive field like photography (He might be the top journalist at the Roseville Gazette, but that doesn’t mean he became that great overnight. He’s had a lot of practice). He offers his support not only emotionally but also practically, helping you with business planning, networking, and promotion. 

As a journalist, Danny's schedule is pretty busy during the day and also he spends a lot of time with his ‘hobby’ (if you know what I mean), yet, he still finds time to make an effort to prioritize quality time with you (I don’t know how he does it so don’t ask me). He understands the importance of nurturing y’all’s relationship amidst y’all’s respective careers and often suggests going on photoshoot outings together as a way to bond and unwind. Danny enjoys brainstorming creative concepts and themes for your photoshoots.

When you finally open your photography studio, Danny couldn’t be more prouder. He attends the grand opening with a camera in hand, capturing the excitement and anticipation of the moment. He smiles and y’all’s shared passion for storytelling will continue to strengthen y’all’s bond and drive each other to success.

Nubbins Sawyer

When Nubbins finds out that you photograph for fun just like him, he’s excited. Obviously, your photography technique is very different from his and he doesn’t fully understand the artist form of your photography at first; however, he quickly becomes fascinated by the way you capture the world through your lens. He wants to know why your photographs aren’t dark and blurry like his. 

Nubbins often finds himself admiring your work in awe, marveling at the way you can turn the most mundane scenes into something beautiful and captivating. You’ll look over your shoulder and find him just staring at one of the many photos you’ve taken in his hand, unmoving. Who knows how long he’s been standing there admiring your work. Actually, the better assumption is how long has he gone staring at that photo without blinking.

Nubbins spends the majority of his time hitchhiking and looking for ‘food’ heading towards the Sawyer property. He’d enjoy it if you tagged along with him and brought your camera to document your adventures together. Your hobby is a great way to immortalize y’all’s experiences and memories, creating a photo album of y’all’s life.  

Nubbins encourages and supports you. He would point out interesting objects and compositions for you to take pictures of during y’all’s unorganized photoshoots. He’ll also scout for locations or offer input too. 

Nubbins is protective of your camera equipment, ensuring it’s always safely stowed away when not using it. He understands how much your gear means to you and goes to great lengths to make sure it goes undamaged, knowing how much their photography means to you. 

Nubbins often proudly displays your work around the Sawyer house for his brothers to see. He takes pride in showcasing your talent to them and often boasts about your skills to his brothers. When he shares your photographs with his brothers, Nubbins finds himself cherishing the photographs, reminding him of all the moments y’all shared together. Each image holds a special place in his heart, serving as a visual representation of y’all’s love and adventures.

[brucewaynehater101]

i've been chewing over the tcf!tim au a lot these past few days and this is what my brain came up with: 1. jack and janet aren't really present in tim's life- not out of choice, but out of necessity: see tim had been affected with a curse (similar to that on the tcf protagonist) that made it so that he would eventually lose anything precious to him

2. after they find out, jack and janet decide to physically distance themselves from him (though they can't bring themselves to do so emotionally) while at the same time going on archaelogical trips in hopes to find a way to solve the curse. this way they would hopefully live long enough for tim to be old enough to take care of himself before the curse took them away from him

3. in the meantime, they plopped him in gotham to hopefully slow down / weaken the curse (due to how cursed the city already is, it probably acts like fighting fire with fire or poison with poison, also you can't convince me that as rich as they were they wouldn't have chosen to settle down in any other city if they had other options) and hire a revolving door of nannies (the good ones tim gets attached to often experience unfortunate circumstances that made them have to leave their post, while the bad ones get found out and fired by his parents)

4. tim still gets attached to dick at the circus (and then dick's parents died, and tim lost dick's smile that he liked)

5. tim gets attached to batman and robin -> dick and bruce fight and the og dynamic duo fall apart

6. tim gets attached to jason -> jason gets murdered

7. tim pulls batman out of his spiral and ironically, bruce's prickliness delayed tim getting attached to him, which meant he got to stick around (until he got better, then he ended up being yeeted through time)

8. that whole lead-up to brucequest where he lost a whole bunch of loved ones in quick succession? yeah, the curses of gotham are struggling against his (quantity vs quality)

i just think this idea is neat. and tim's guilt would be growing out of control once he finds out about the curse (why didn't anyone else notice before? because everyone assumed gotham folks are just cursed in general)

it also means he gets a fun (angsty) new motivation to avoid his family post-regression: he doesn't know if the curse is still active and would target them, so he plays the asshole to ward them off so that nothing worse would happen

Well, fuck.

I do love the Good!Parents Jack and Janet in this. It's a bit hard to make Jack or Janet decent parents to Tim while also affording him the independency his character typically has.

The curse is a cool addition to the tcf!Tim au that adds more reason to Tim being an asshole. Him not knowing if he's cursed or not is a great angst plot point, especially because it would be very easy for him to find out. He knows countless magic people that could tell him. Constantine would do it quietly for a quick buck. If Tim continues to not know despite his ability to, that's because he simply didn't want to find out. Dealer's choice on whether that's because he was scared or he wanted an excuse to self-destruct (i.e. cut himself off from his support groups).

The real shitty part about curses that seem like bad luck (or that cause bad luck) is that you can't be sure what is the curse and what is life being shit. Tim will probably blame himself for every horrid thing that has happened to someone after he entered their life.

[b3achysurfur]

If we notice in the webtoon, Taylor and Ben are the only ones who have not been seriously injured...

Aiden was crushed

Tyler was impaled

Ashlyn had a concussion

Logan ended up with a big cut on his side

Do you think something worse could happen to Taylor and Ben?

I think eventually all of them will face some sort of serious injury, so I highly doubt Ben and Taylor will be safe. I think ashlyn and Logan will also get more deadly wounds soon (hope Logan is first in line 🙏)

But I do find it interesting that they are the only two unharmed. Especially since they had a mini romance going on in S1. awwww I miss them 😢

Whats also interesting is how impulsive, destructive, and agressive Taylor has been lately as well as her increased screentime 😈

We’ve also unfortunately seen Logan get a lot of panels lately as well. And idk if u guys remember S1 but Tyler, ashlyn, and Aiden were the ones who got a lot of attention. But now that Tyler and Aiden are out , the attention has shifted to Taylor and Logan. But not Ben!!!!! (I want more Ben screentime, fuck Logan no body gaf what’s going on with him 😒 tell me ab Benny boy NOOOWWWW!!!!!!)

my point is Taylor or Logan may be the next to experience a major event. They’ve also been the ones exhibiting the most “phantom traits” , MOSTLY Taylor tho. also there’s a few other things that point to Taylor being in harms way very soon.

but basically the signs are telling me Taylor is gonna go through smth much worse than what’s happening rn. Back to Taylor and Ben’s relationship tho. Ben always tries to give back to things that treat him well, idrk how to word it. In S1 Taylor is very considerate of the whole group, but there are a few instances where she focuses on him.

in S2, ben mirrors this act by physically protecting her and attempting to comfort her to the best of his abilities

taylor leans into this comfort and support, even if it’s only by a little. taylor needs people, and ben can easily become her person. they both value their family and friends a lot and are willing to put their lives on the line/distance themselves if it means protecting them. they both have lost someone who has guided them out of a dark time in their life to the phantom dimension. they both are kind hearted people who are gentle. they are both a pea to someone’s pod (Aiden and Ben, Taylor and Tyler). they understand each other better than anyone else.

Ben cares about Taylor a lot. we don’t get scenes of them like we do with aidlyn anymore, but we do get little snippets. he is willing to protect her , even if it puts himself at risk. HE COVERED HER COMPLETELY WITH HIMSELF!!! HE DIDNT EVEN COVER HIS HEAD OR ANYTHINGG IGHWHEHA!!??? He had been holding her in place ever since the phantom had started chasing them. HE CARES SM IT HURTS ME.

ben has been such a neglected character, but I don’t think this was for no reason. I believe Ben’s time will come. I was honestly expecting a reaction out of him when Aiden ‘died’ but we got aidlyn so idrc 😈🙏. anyways a lot of people want to see Ben tweak AND I DO TOO!!! but you also have to remember, him not getting mad and bearing with the situation shows how much he has grown from his past. Ben has intense anger issues that he’s HEAVILY ashamed of. keeping himself in check is already hard enough with day to day triggers, but add his new phantom situation onto that? mans is STRUGGLING, but since it’s in silence no one ever talks ab it 🙁 we’ve seen Tyler crack under this pressure, Logan getting madder, and taylor has gotten angrier too! ashlyn is more stressed and tired than angry, and Aiden is having fun most of the time. but Ben? he’s been trying his absolute hardest to not flip out.

so that combined with his affection for tay, if something bad really does happen to her, I do believe it will be his final straw. There’s only so much self control a 14 year old has (even though most adults would’ve went insane by now). Whether Taylor turns into a phantom or she gets injuries/dies, it will hit Ben HARD. Tyler will also be affected, but I really hope it doesn’t overshadow Ben. Losing Taylor would mean Ben wasn’t able to protect her like he wanted to and after Aiden also got hurt, I don’t think he would be able to take it. I think it’ll also extremely upset him when he finds out his family got caught in the crossfire of the kidnapping.

I was thinking about it, and we might actually see ben use his voice out of desperation. I really hope we don’t, bc I think ben not being verbal is nice representation, it’s so important to his character, and I love seeing how ben expresses himself without words. but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he used it to call out to someone. The way this scene (⬇️⬇️) is worded is like, “he CAN (might even) talk, he just doesn’t WANT (have a reason) too”. i really hope he doesn’t, but it’s definitely a possibility 😢 especially if we get a ben centered arc that’s caused by his anger and the loss he’s experienced.

All in all, I don’t think Ben be the next one to be injuried really, but I do think Taylor will. And Taylor getting hurt will finally open up a arc centered around/that includes ben 🙏

hope red gives us the craziest angst we've ever seen for them two and then kills Logan 😛

(sorry for rambling sm 😓 I tried to shorten it but now i feel like some parts don’t make sense. UGH WTV!!! I’m very passionate about Ben and the affects Taylor has had on him 😒)

[justzawe]

interview | zawe ashton

Actor, director and writer Zawe Ashton has no interest in being perfect. Drawn to the messiness of being a villain, Ashton uncovers the heartbreak behind the anti-hero as she takes on the role of the formidable, Dar-Benn, in Nia DaCosta’s The Marvels. Relishing the chance to make “her-story”, Ashton and DaCosta bonded over literature and their joint vision for an empowered, all-female, ethnically diverse ensemble. The lack of diversity on screen wasn’t lost on Ashton growing up as an aspiring actress – the ability to rectify that and heal her inner child is a mission Ashton is grabbing with both hands.

The vastness of the Marvel realm means most actors in Hollywood have their Marvel audition story. For Ashton, there had been previous close encounters, narrowly missing out in the latter stages. But with DaCosta, it was different. Ashton recalls, “We bonded over literature. Nia wanted to make a very small movie based on a Jane Austen novel and I was absolutely into this so we talked for a good couple of hours. But instead, what ended up happening was her asking me to play a villain in this movie… The process was so natural, I didn’t have to think so it made my goal really clear to serve Nia’s vision. Being part of this piece of “her-story” with the youngest black woman to direct a Marvel film felt extremely important as a moment in my career.”

A departure from her traumatic high school physical education lessons, Ashton felt empowered by the experience of getting into physical shape for the role, all while transitioning into motherhood. “It ended up being transformative. The entire stunt team I worked with touched my heart in such a deep way… They helped me realise a physical world so far removed from botched PE classes that had made me think that I couldn’t be a physically strong person. It was very powerful.”

It was also the opportunity to set her inner child free on set that made the transformation into Dar-Benn so liberating. She enthuses, “Having the inner child run wild was the best – and scariest – part of this film… I had to play which most of us haven’t done since the sandpit. So indulging in that was a very unique experience to have in front of thousands of people. But it was so fun – I honestly loved every second of it.”

But it was her character’s vulnerability that Ashton sought to capture. “Anti-heroes have always been attractive to me. As a child, I was drawn to the reasons for why they did what they did. So I was always really satisfied when we got to see their vulnerabilities that helped us to understand them.” And while egos often get in the way, Ashton had no qualms playing the villain. “I honestly feel like the responsibility to be the hero would be too much on my shoulders. I’m very comfortable in a space where I don’t have to present as perfect, where I get to be a bit messy or a bit frightening or a bit off centre… I always find that a very interesting journey to see why someone on the outside wants to carry out what they want to carry out.”

Despite history being made with The Marvels, Ashton isn’t shying away from debates around wider representation across the film and TV industry. She considers, “Being part of a completely female driven cast is really important – bringing different ethnicities to the screen heals the inner child within me. I think back to myself as a young girl looking to film and entertainment and not seeing a broad spectrum of representation, and how that was more damaging than I could have realised or vocalised at that age. So being part of something that makes another little girl not have to experience that is very moving.”

And while she’s hopeful for the future, Ashton knows there’s still a long way to go. “I think the scale is tipping. But there is still a huge amount to do to truly, holistically balance out the things that need to be balanced out to have a healthier industry. I feel very grateful to at least be on that road and be part of the conversation… There are so many voiceless people out there, who should probably have the mic instead. But this industry is extremely powerful in terms of how we interact with it. So I’m really aware that I have this platform because of the work that I do.”

Not content with shaping conversations on screen, Ashton is also changing the narrative through her work as a writer and director. She muses, “There are a lot of stories that are brewing inside of me that I’m desperate to get out… You get to a certain point in life where you have this incredible vantage point over a huge portion of your lived experience that you can’t really access while you’re still living it. One of the benefits of aging is that your creativity really can deepen. You have even more life experience to draw from and more creative ways of looking at that life experience. It’s another way for me to process life.”

With so many stories to tell, one character that remains a cherished favourite is the enigmatic, if not slightly deluded, Vod from Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain’s, Fresh Meat. Ashton enthuses, “I cherish her as a character so deeply. I cherish the team that helped bring her to life – all the amazing production and design team who were all part of bringing her weird and wonderful world to life. Often as an actor you can be known for a role that has a small trauma attached to it, so the character becomes an avatar that you feel slightly trapped in because how you view the character isn’t how the audience see the avatar, so I was lucky. It’s one of the biggest achievements in my career so far!”

As Ashton continues to find her voice both on and off screen, she’s discovering new realms of possibilities.

[patheticpaprika]

Goncharov: Fandom's Struggle Between Fanon vs. Canon and How That's Created A Mythos Rivaling The Greeks

A tag ramble to this post that got away from me and became too long to feel okay putting in the tags lol. It can be easily read as a stand alone though.

It's absolutely FASCINATING to me being able to both watch and participate in the Goncharov (?)fandom(?). It's taking everything that fandom culture is and letting it run free without any barriers to stop it.

Because frankly, I can't think of anything (to my knowledge) quite like it in recent history to reach such a scale. Both the ability to write stories down and the rise of copyright have had a significant impact on the way stories are told. We went from a storytelling culture that slowly evolved each story told by the person telling it, to one that is very close-handed to the narratives created.

And yes, to some extent, this twisting and evolving still happens in fandoms to the point that fanon and canon can become so separated it feels jarring. But that's just it isn't it? There always remains the canon. That will always be the true story. Fanfiction will forever be fanfiction, no matter how much we want it to be "real." You can whittle away at the narrative to shape it into something more appealing, but it will always be stuck as a block of wood.

Yet, the very fact that fanon exists proves that we never lost that want to change stories and make them a little bit our own. All that we lost was the medium to do so. Evolve something too far, and it won't be the same, will it? We're stuck in the confines of "canon."

I have seen fanfiction of fanfiction before, but it tends to quite quickly pitter out without its own foundation to stand upon. More can be added to the universe, but what's there does not change. It does not evolve the way a story passed down orally does; in a story spoken, the canon is forced to slowly change by the memory and style of the speaker. A classic game of telephone.

Goncharov however? There is no original story; there is no true canon. Not only is the story evolving freely from storyteller to storyteller, but the only reason there is even a coherent story in the first place is that there are multiple storytellers weaving the tale at once yet also expecting you to fill in the gaps.

It's like we're all playing that one writing game where each person writes a sentence back and forth to create a story. Yet, instead of you and one friend, we're playing it on this gargantuan sitewide scale that can't possibly all be connected into a singular coherent narrative. But you're not supposed to be able to. Each person can choose what they want to know it as. It's like some big giant exploratory choose-your-own-adventure book. The framework is there, but it's going in 50 different directions and you can always add another one in just for fun. You discover the story as you read, but only the bits you like get added on.

It's fucking incredible.

We all see each piece of media through our own personal lenses but never like this?? Not to this extent. We're all collectively joining together to obsess over the little ideas in our heads we got from each other's prompts and are excitedly spewing them regardless of how contradictory they are. We do something similar brainstorming with others but not with 12k messages in a single day.

Would this have even been possible before the rise of social media? Not to mention the strong sense of community Tumblr has that is so rare to see with such a large amount of people. There's more people than you could ever know on this site but we all act like some deranged extended family. Yes, people can work together but so rarely do people that vary so greatly in personality and life experiences, get together in such larger numbers to do a little silly goofy CREATE AN ENTIRE STORY THAT DOESN'T EXIST.

We pull shenanigans like this all the time. But this time it's not like eeby deeby or even the mishapocolyse; this time we're seeing the power of an entire community working together to create not only layers and layers of memes but layers of memes shaping an entire mythos. It's like we're the Greeks thinking up stories of our gods but instead it's a homoerotic mafia movie from 1973 written by Matteo JWHJ 0715 and Martin Scorsese that all started with a picture of a shoe.

We have stumbled across something fascinating and new. This may not be the first mafia movie that's been thought up and played around with but this is absolutely the first to be created by thousands of people working together but also towards their own individual goal/story. We're seeing the power that created mythology being wielded by fandom culture, and it's letting it evolve like no other story has.

It's free from the confines of prescribed canon, but there is so much being created that can be canon if you want it to be. This isn't changing one by one like some spoken tale towards exponential growth either. This has been created like one spectacular big bang. We had a funny post of a boot, and then we had a poster and that was enough to make Tumblr go collectively insane. (Not that we weren't already.) I want to (politely) shake all of you by the shoulders till everyone realizes how crazy this all is.

This story is ours, all of ours. Goncharov (1973) is held together by the power of belief and love for it. We have fragments of canon, yes, but it only exists because we want it to. And God-damn it, I hope we do it again. Together we can create things that we'd never thought could exist (and in this case still doesn't).

-We- are strong. Please never forget that.

As it now 6am and I have not slept, I will leave you with a quote; Goncharov's final solemn plea as he slowly bled to death, for I feel it's in an odd way rather fitting.

"What is the dust but a remnant of what we once were, all around us coated with it.

But we brush it away in search of something else. Not everything that mattered once matters now.

Yet you seem to think that's the only way, just keep dusting it.

You never stop to think that some things we search for might not be worth keeping.

Nothing has meaning unless we continue to think it does.

So please... I beg of you, can't we just move on and let this sickening contempt between us dissolve into dust?"

[wrong-mother]

Some fresh art because I saw this trend and just couldn't resist.

So I've drawn Irna on her first days in Dwemereth and many years later. From the assassin and priestess who lost her place to well-respected mender and loved woman.

She had to flee Morag Tong order despite being one of its most loyal and devoted assassins. Knowing that MT might hunt down her then friend, Arkndchal-Savak, she went to Nchuleftingth where he was at that time and warned him of the danger; eventually they left Vvardenfell together and moved to the Silent City where Arkndchal-Savak was born and lived most of the time.

Arkndchal-Savak asked the king for protection on her behalf; Dumac agreed, because Irna is Nerevar's sister (and she offered her knowledge as well) — but not before they could test her. Apart from being basically not being able to leave the city for a whole year, she had to spend her first month in Light Negation, the artifact which not only didn't let her see anything, but also suppressed her ability to sense magic beyond a small radius. This artifact isn't meant to humiliate anyone though, it's just used to not let noble and valuable visitors see what shouldn't be seen. And still... For Irna it was quite difficult.

And there is she again, but years later and not alone. Despite almost dying after the Morag Tong attack on her and lots of other hardships (pretty traumatising sometimes, to be fair), she became a respected medic and is happily married to Arkndchal-Savak, and they (who would think? and yet here we are thanks to Nerevar) mutually love each other, always protecting and deeply caring for each other. Fun fact: this is the first (and only) time they both fell in love. Neither Irna nor Arkndchal-Savak previously had any experience with love relationship like this.

And yeah, drawing so many details in such complicated angle kills me, but I caught a hyperfixation on this idea. Sooooo now I can cherish one of my best OTPs :D

[lakesbian]

what are your animorphs thoughts on how the characters have been changing over the course of the series so far? also, do you have a favorite animal moment in the ones you’ve read?

okay this got long due to my rambling so its going under a cut

well i can't say i have any profound analysis on how they've been changing but it's fun...jake rocks because he very rapidly went from "why are you guys saying im the leader im not the leader stop saying im the leader" -> someone has to be the leader, they want it to be me, i'll take the responsibility for making the calls that could get people killed and he Is becoming more repressed and solemn over time about it but he's also great at like. having internal spirals over it and shaking like a leaf and becoming very reactively resentful of both himself for not knowing what to do and everyone else for expecting him to know what to do. & sometimes people are like aww jake it's not your fault but sometimes they yell about how he's the one that got them into this mess so he has to get him out of it while internally regarding him as genuinely being the facade he puts up (<- even marco does this it's dire for jake) so you know. he's not doing so hot. shoutout to when cassie is like so what you're not supposed to be human? and he's like that's exactly right i'm not supposed to be human. it's fucking over for him marco has started calling him Prematurely Middle-Aged. he is turning into brian laborn. i like how they know they can still strategically coerce Whimsy and Immaturity out of him (e.g. 'letting' them sneak into a hollywood concert thing) by appealing to specific teenagerisms of his (shaq will be there).

veryfunny how they. put an arc about tobias navigating [checks notes] accepting his therian identity in the 90s children novels. just straight up. they gave birdboy a stomach-fluttering creeping lack of ability to stay in denial while a higher being was showing him his ideal body moment. They gave birdboy a "rachel is forced to accept who he is and stop solely thinking of him as a human tragically locked away by finding that only appealing to his true self as a red-tailed hawk rather than as a human can bring him out of being lost in a morph" moment. Also, he was autistic about dinosaurs as a child. i fear perhaps he'll have less focus for the rest of the series because his personal arc has like. more or less been sorted already. he's good now. there is the chosen one™️thing coming up still but i like that significantly less than him being just some guy so that's not really exciting. it's nice for him that his life is cool and awesome now though. i will say it's funny how almost every time the animorphs describe each other in their books they're just so wildly off-base (generally in the 'falling for the facade' way but it was funny when marco just confidently rattled off statements about rachels purported secret insecurities that were not even remotely accurate) and with tobias everyone is still like. poor soul. forever trapped in the body of a hawk. and then you cut to tobias and every time he's not in hawk morph he's complaining and bitching and moaning about how he wants to be back in his REAL body with his REAL eyes because they're SO MUCH MORE AWESOME. he's good, guys. he's fine. he's chill.

i am on the. checks notes. second chapter of the Cassie's Spontaneous Mental Break Over Doing Violence book. i like how she had an entire book dedicated to that one specific experience some kids have of being A Kid Who Loves Animals (TM) and then processes that bad things happen all the time in nature + human morality with regards to caring for animals is complicated and biased and gets really distressed about pondering the matter. like you know that type of experience. love that she gets an entire book dedicated to having it. fantastic character trait that she's the most prone out of all of them to having morality debates with herself and distress over the idea of choosing wrong to the point where she genuinely needs someone (marco) to explain to her that inaction is in itself a decision. girl who is very sick and tired of bloodshed, and also keeps accidentally murdering people. remember when she's like [trying 2 joke] i dont want to decide...could you just decide for me jake and jake is like [seriously, completely aware she wasn't kidding on a deeper level] do you Want me to decide for you? it is perhaps most necessary for her over all the other morphs that she gets to Not Be The Person Making The Final Calls. this does not stop her from having increasingly many little moments of nervous breaks before she gets so upset she tries to hard-quit though. should be interesting to see where that goes over the course of the entire series because she has a lot more books to suffer badly through

rachel is like. i think she's the slowest boiling pot here. she's had one (1) moment of really getting snappish about her role being The Brave One but other than that she's largely going "unfortunately i cant stop talking (instinctively immediately calling marco a pussy when he says something is scary and then throwing myself into it to motivate everyone even if i am also so very scared)" and then continuing to play out her role. it's been cute to watch her friendship with marco develop they're by no means each others favorite but they're playful with each other and they're learning how to read each other. i like when rachel is like hmm i think i hear your mom on a submarine and hes like thanks rachel [thinking] if she says youre welcome shes lying to be nice and shes like. Thank you for having better hearing than you? Loser. and hes like oh thank god. it's also very cute when he steals the tv remote while they're all hanging out in a hotel room and acts like he's gonna turn it to baywatch and she gets annoyed and then he puts it to xena warrior princess for her and shes like oh ok :). she is always getting ripped and torn to shreds and almost dying and it may actually be traumatizing the other animorphs marginally more than it traumatizes her. i think thus far my favorite scene with her is when she's traveling with tobias during megamorphs 2

aximili is like. he can be kind of nothing when it's not his book but his characterization is overall really solid. kind of enamored with how much having dinner with cassie impacted him. i want to see more of his developing friendship with tobias...i like how in his head he's like "and we're Best friends :)" without checking to see whether or not tobias also thinks this. deeply deeply funny character in terms of literally being a jock who didnt pay very much attention in school sent back 400 years and expected by everyone he meets there to, like, explain how to invent electricity when all he knows is what electricity is. i think during the dinosaur episode he should have started insufferably asking the other animorphs to explain how to invent a cellphone/water purifier/etc to make a point. bonus points because he comes from a society where being considered more technologically knowledgeable than other warriors is literally a huge diss. he wants to be a jock but he's being considered a nerd by all of his friends just for knowing what is to him basic fact. which obscures the truth that cassie is the real nerd of the group. sad! i disagree with the people who think he's genuinely weird compared to other andalites and not just on earth btw. just a side note. i really like his character development and internal struggles over geopolitics while being Extremely Fifteen. he is fifteen and they are making him undergo the horrors. i would like to see more scenes like where he's invited to dinner at cassie's or where he remembers the dinner at cassie's as smth very fond/important to him but at the same time i can get behind him having a like...undersiders-type relationship to the other animorphs where the connection is simultaneously very superficial and very deep because he wouldn't be in proximity to them if not for Being In A War Together and they don't really have any intimate interactions with him but they still have the intrinsic closeness of constantly fighting for each others lives. i like how he's objectively rachel's least favorite & least trusted and they would still bite claw maim for each other!

marco is becoming increasingly complicated 4 sure. kind of enamored with his character trait where he's completely fine with going "ATTENTION EVERYONE: i am so terrified and scared and afraid that i am shivering and crying hysterically and peeing myself and i've almost fainted as well" but he simultaneously considers the idea of anyone finding out about deeper emotional vulnerabilities of his and pitying him to be intolerable. which kind of clashes in an interesting way w/ how the other animorphs are all pathologically obsessed with the notion that it's fine for anyone Else to be afraid, but They can't be afraid or they're a coward and should be ashamed of themselves. i forgot the specific context but shoutout to when marco fully genuinely says that something is very scary/he's very scared and he wouldn't blame anyone who decided to go home and then cassie projects her own insecurities onto the statement and makes a kind of snippy remark about how she's not going to back down despite the fact that it was in no way targeted at anyone. i like how it's sort of his job to be The Sensible One (although this has shifted over the course of the series now it's more his job to be The Funny One i.e. the emotional medic) but his brain just completely shits out when he's scared and he frequently has to be reminded of common sense things during fights. i like how this does not stop him from being extremely impulsively angry and violent and poorly restrained around things that hit home for him. i like how when jake tries to go "are you ok? asking because you have not made a singular jest and thats worrying to people" marco takes it as "alright fucking fine i'll do better at doing my job and making jokes" instead of emotionally engaging. it's gonna be interesting to see where he goes he's one of the more complicated ones to see the perspective of

[limayde]

16. The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

What a POLARIZING experience this was. Really high highs, very low lows. Overall I think I enjoyed my time with the game more than I disliked it, but this is absolutely a one and done experience. I don't think I ever want to play it again fghgfghj

The first thing that jumped out to me was the story—it's better than any of the more recent Zelda titles that have released in the last ten years (I'm looking at you TotK). The characters are so fun and expressive, and it even gave us the best version of Link and Zelda's situationship. They are SO cute in this game, that even as a raging lesbian I can appreciate them. It also gave us Byrne—he kicks ass.

I hear a lot of people complain about them but I never had much issue with the touch controls. They were responsive and the enemies are just slow enough to get around the bit of discrepancy you'd have as opposed to having button controls. I think we need more games with silly controls, that's kind of a lost art, and it brings charm to a game.

The pan flute was fun at first, it was just a silly little instrument that you blow into the microphone to use, but then I got to the fire sanctuary. That. That right there. That's the reason I will never play this game again. The fire and sand sanctuary songs are SO finicky, it took me HOURS to complete both. Everywhere else it's fine! The first three sanctuaries? Not a problem. Using it in the overworld? Not a problem. Just. Those last two sanctuaries make my blood BOIL.

Train's fine. I didn't really see much issue with it aside from the stupid one-hit kill demon trains. (Especially that last area, jesus christ why are they FASTER than you?) But oh my god it is impossible to upgrade your train in this game? I got three parts. THREE. I DIDN'T EVEN COMPLETE A WHOLE SET. You don't even unlock the ability to customize your train until you unlock the water realm so I just didn't think you could do it! Also you don't unlock fast travel until way too late. Like it's appreciated but they're so out of the way and come in so late that I basically never got to use it.

That's another thing, this game is so backloaded with sidequests, that I did like three before making it to endgame. Once I realized that you were basically forced to marathon all the sidequests in one go if you wanted to 100% it, I lost interest. It's all bunnies and ferrying people around anyway so who cares, I'd probably just get another pearl necklace for my troubles.

I do like that you can wear the conductor's outfit tho.

Anyway this game is definitely fun and worthwhile if you're a Zelda fan—especially since it comes packaged in with Zelda's most important role in the whole series. Seriously Nintendo, why can't we play as her yet? Why is she always being sidelined as a damsel in distress? Her name is in the fucking title for god's sake.

[spinbitchzu]

this blog is for realsies dead but I do open this website everyday regardless and I feel the need to chime in about the way this fandom thinks about wu as a character and as a person. 

It has been my personal observation that wu tends to be extremely polarizing — people (in my experience, the majority), seem to really fucking hate him or really love him. but this is a kids show and I think theres a bit of a flawed reading of him due to his role as an older/mentor character.

because wu is oldddd, he’s old as hell and he lived through a war and he had his brother turn on him and lost almost all his friends and his son and had to bear the weight of his father’s legacy all by himself for many many many years and I guess I'm not trying to say theres a *right* way to regard him, but isn’t it soooo much more interesting not to paint him as wholly good or wholly bad? isn’t it so much more fun to see his life in a bigger picture and see where he did his best and where he was misguided or selfish or cripplingly, helplessly human, even as the son of god? 

there is such an ability in this fandom to extend that kind of empathy to garmadon but wu (and to a different extent, misako) are just terribly vilified for their mistakes by the fandom at large and it has just never made sense to me. they aren’t evil or good, they’re just people. they’re more than mentors and parents, they’re also their own people who’ve gone through their own struggles and that informs the way they behave. they can have done wrong or hurtful things and that doesn't have to mean that they dont try their best to be good. the good things they've done dont make them wholly good either and there is no level of moral “cancelling out” 

(im also not a big fan of the woobification/twinkification of wu based on his younger design but shksjdfkjs thats kind of a different issue and I dont wanna derail.)

I guess I just think as a fandom there should be more nuance applied to analyzing and portraying the characters who aren’t young and relatable and shippable like the ninja or angsty antiheroes like harumi/morro/garmadon

[weebsinstash]

What if Miguel gives you a suit anyway even if you're not a spider person to protect you? 👀👀 one that moves when it senses danger so he's less worried about you when he's not there (but also with commands only he knows and really only he can disable? 👀👀👀). Reader can't take the suit off and realizes too late 👀👀👀👀 (I'm user filthdumpformeself btw)

Godddddddd it would open Reader up for some real manipulation and potential abuse. To be a NORMIE? At least some of these characters are scientists and inventors, but if you're just a powerless civilian, you'd be almost jumping at the opportunity to be something more, to mean something in this super-powered world you're in

I mentioned in another idea, 'what if Reader lost their home universe and they live where the Spider Society is' and you just 24/7 have to have a bracelet on or you'll glitch out and no on will know what will happen. Usually you'd return to your home universe, but since YOU don't have one, would you just POP! cease to exist? He never tells you, but the thought TERRIFIES Miguel, and once a week he's making sure to personally perform routine exams on your wristwatch to make sure it's functioning. So imagine if he eventually expanded on that. The suit would need some sort of source to project out of, so he combines it withe the bracelet. You still need to bathe after all!

As a person with a physical disability, I often think about and well, grieve over the abilities and physical fitness I'll never be able to have, and I think Reader in this scenario would have a similar experience. You're a normie surrounded by superheroes and genius scientists and they're all doing flips and hanging upside down and have zero fear of heights and natural invulnerability and EVERYTHING! You're in Spiderman Super Central and you're the only one who isnt allowed to be in the super special big boy club. It would make you so isolated and depressed, especially because like, Nueva York looks HUGE, so like there's definitely parts where all the normal people live, but Miguel insists you live in the Society to keep an eye on your bracelet (and also to keep you around)

This is where you're vulnerable to the manipulation and potentially having to do whatever he asks. You're DESPERATE for the freedom and fun and feeling of fulfillment only the suit can provide. It's a proverbial carrot he's dangling over your head. You want your powers back? Behave yourself. Do whatever he wants.

Just imagine it. You're high on the euphoria of getting to run around with other spiders and actually have some sort of purpose and, a new Spidey friend of yours is like "hey I got some goons in my home universe, what if you tagged along?" And suddenly Miguel is getting a little ping on his own bracelet "bracelet number 8364937 whatever tf just warped to coordinates XYZ" and he FLIPS OUT. They had you exposed to danger? They had you fighting?! And he storms all the way over there to see you're actually doing great and fighting fine, but so much of that is the suit, and you and him start an argument until he snaps. He didn't give you this suit to run around in suicide missions, and he scolds you not to do this again.

Snapcut to him finding out you did it again, and even confronting you WHILE another Spider is showing you the ropes and letting you train and fight (who will receive a severe punishment for it later). The two of you just start really arguing as you vent your feelings of uselessness and anger on him, maybe even saying something like "you can't just... try and CONTROL ME like this! You gave this to me, it should be mine to use!" And he just looks at you coldly. "You're right. I AM the one who gave it to you." And suddenly he's hitting a button and, you're still standing there in a suit strikingly visually similar to his own, but you can feel the exoskeleton kind of slack off your body, you feel heavier, and when you storm away from him angrily, you find out that your suit has had every function disabled. Every single one. No slinging webs, no defying gravity, no invulnerability, no super strength. Your Spider friends invite you for a swing around the city? You have to tearfully turn them down, and suddenly you're all isolated again. You're having to constantly turn down your friends and watch everyone have fun without you until you're going back to Miguel in tears, begging for his forgiveness, asking him what you can do for his forgiveness. PLEASE don't do this, with that suit you could help out around the Society and in other dimensions, or, you could at least just live a fun life in this place, and you're begging him with tears, PLEASE please please don't take away your new purpose

Not to mention you would have no idea but he can just constantly spy on you. He can find your location, he can listen in to your conversations and I imagine if you're all suited up, that he can potentially even control your movements. You mouth off and he just crosses his arms, "ok then. Power suit, activate protocol TO-1H" and suddenly your legs are marching you to your room and forcing you to give yourself a time out for an hour and he's monitoring you on a SpiPad while you cry by yourself and he can hear you whimpering all your private thoughts. "I just want to mean something... why is he doing this to me..."

An idea I had for the Spider Reader vs Evil OTHER Spider Reader which can also be applied here is, like, imagine you start clearly sinking into a depression during one of your "no spidey time" punishments and you're just feeling alone and sad as you eat in the food court with other Spiders and you're just looking down at the watch and suddenly you just say "do you think if I took this off I would die?"

The entire fucking cafeteria has their Spidey Sense go off and everyone looks at you. And you force a laugh, feeling super awkward as your face burns, and before you can laugh out "it was just a joke", something is casting a shadow over you, and you look up to see Miguel towering over you, one of the rare occasions he came out to socialize with other people. To try and eat with YOU. And he just heard you say THAT? THAT'S when he decides, you know what, I'm making this bracelet/suit unable to be taken off without special permissions 😤 no suicide or leaving allowed

But I imagine even if he doesn't want to see you taking risks and potentially getting hurt, he probably feels so warm and fuzzy and proud when he's teaching you new Spidey things and you pick up on then and do a good job and he praises you and you hit him with a big smile that makes his heart melt as he decides, ok, MAYBE he can let you play with your little suit, but only because it gives him more excuses to spend time with you ❤️

[ceristhedivine]

Confession, as a DC Comics Fan:

I don't like the shippings Damian Wayne had over the years. Not anymore, at least.

For awhile, I've been seeing a TON of Damian Wayne stuff related to ships on the internet. From big ones like Damirae or Damijon to smaller ships like Damian x Cassie or Damian x Djinn or Damian X Emiko. Then there was Damian and Flatline (or Nika) that became recently canon in the comic run, Lazarus Tournament (check it out, I think its cool). These ships had a fair share of fans and I've been one of them.

Until... I eventually grew out of it. Why?

Cause as I grew older, I'm getting a change of taste and a refreshed perspective of things, you know? So, with how much research I gather from Damian's character and these ships, opinions change. Some I lost likeness than I usually did. Some I got bored with overtime. Some, I just didn't care for as much. Lemme clarify, I still think some ships are likable than others, especially their dynamics with Damian as a character. But when I look between the characters he interacts with and their histories... It kinda makes me wonder... Does it really work? Are they worth it?

First, lemme start with the demon birds: Damirae. Damian x Raven. This was the first Damian Wayne shipping I discovered as a fan of the DC Animated Movie Universe. I watched JLVSTT (terrible title) to TT:JC to Apokolips War and ultimately... I was hooked. These characters could relate and they had such heartfelt and bittersweet tragic terms with the storyline. I cried when they shared their first AND final kiss (don't judge, I'm sensitive, 😭). This ship was my first and I fell in love with it! Plus, these characters have always been and will always BE my favorite in any DC storyline.

As I got older and learned more about them in other continuities, I grew a change of philosophy... I DON'T THINK IT WORKS. Hold on! Before Damirae fans explode! Hear me out. I see the appeal. They're similar in experience and personality, the idea of Damian, being the Grandson of the Demon's Head, dating a literal demon sounds cool (even if Rae wasn't originally a demon-). There's a lot in terms of age and direction with storylines I can see being a problem. Though, from how I see things and I say this from personal experience; similarities will not always be great in relationships. Their personalities just don't bounce each other off well for me. Additionally, I feel like some fanfics between this ship just don't do their characters justice. In a short question I've had with another user, I can say, I agree that some fans interpret this romance like a demon x angel dynamic. Like, Damian being into taking over the world while Raven is easily swayed on joining such pursuit. While the idea is... interesting, it does bug me a bit. It doesn't suit well with their characterization in my eyes. Plus, I feel like in other continuities, Raven, in character, would either,

1. Not like his personality.

2. Act as some sort of sympathetic sibling/mentor to him.

Honestly, number two sounds more fun and has potential in my eyes. 💜

Second, the one and only super sons; Damijon. Damian X Jon. These two are my ✨ world ✨. I've followed up with their comic storyline through YouTube (I have yet to snatch the comics-) and WOW they are just so, SO entertaining to watch! Jonathan Kent was super adorable (get it?)! Damian was a little troll but I love it! The movie was also spot on — the animation, the writing, the characters, the moments were just dynamite pure! I will love these two with a passion till the day I die! However, as much as I love these boys in all my heart and soul, I DO NOT ship them. It's cute but I just don't see them being anything more than friends, to be honest. 🦸

Third, the recent grave birds: Damiline. Damian X Flatline. OMG, I liked Flatline! I thought she was so cool! Not to mention, her power to absorb the abilities of warriors she's killed has so much potential. Sure, there were times when I thought moments of her were unnecessary or annoying, but she definitely caught my eye because she was just that fun! Her relationship with Damian was... interesting enough. I do feel like the romance was there because they were in a literal death tournament... if you know what I mean. It felt rushed. Plus, she kinda betrayed him later on. I'm surprised we didn't get a reaction from Damian to this too. Eventually, I looked into Flatline's solo issue in New Evolution. I feel like this issue in particular is where Flatline considers Damian as an afterthought. It was also this line that stood out the most for me — "We'll see how long that lasts". This could mean their relationship may one day end short. And I believe Flatline is just as aware of this too. BUT. I don't think this is a bad thing. It could allow opportunities for her to develop without always being in a romantic role. I like the character, I just don't see this working for too long. It feels like the writers were trying to throw a goth x goth romance for the sake of the plot. 💀

I hear Flatline's coming back, though! I'm excited to see her return!

Fourth, Damian X Cassie Sandsmark (Wonder Girl). This originated from the DCeased storyline, where the world suffered a zombie-like apocalypse thanks to Cyborg bringing the Anti-Life Equation to Earth. Though... To me, she just seemed like another "Jonathan Kent" best friend, than anything else. Probably just me. If there were more interactions, maybe I'll reconsider. 🦸

Fifth, Damian X Djinn. Now, I thought this had potential. They did seem genuine with each other and had nice conversations. Though, if the pedophile part wasn't involved (Djinn being an immortal deity), I'd probably give it a chance. But I don't really ship it because of that fact. 😓 🧞‍♀️

And finally, Damian X Emiko Queen (Red Arrow). I don't see much appeal to this ship. They had similarities, sure, but... that's about it. Damian just had a brief "stalker-crush" and that was gone. So, not much to be said there. Like I mentioned before, if there were more interactions between them, maybe I'll consider. For now, it's not for me. 🏹

This will be where my confession comes to an end. These are my thoughts and opinions. You guys don't have to agree with me but that's just how I see these ships regarding Damian Wayne as a character. Arguments are welcome in the comments. I'm fascinated by these juicy conversations!

Anyways, have fun! And I hope you enjoyed my post. Have a good day!

👋😉👍

[steppingonyourshadow]

Complete Q&A from GQ February 2024

On acting

GQ: When did you decide you wanted to be an actor?

XZ: When the public began to pay more and more attention to me, I thought, why not me? I feel like I can do it.

Sometimes I'd waver and think, it's so difficult, why can't I do it properly? For example, with dialogue. Why isn't my delivery good enough, why can't I compete with others? Just because I'm a Southerner? I doubt it. Then I'd think, how can I improve? I can do it, let's just try.

GQ: In your opinion, what is the professional standard required of an actor?

XZ: Firstly, you have to master the craft. This is inescapable, you might not be from a professionally trained background, but you have to have the ability. That's what I want to achieve, and it's also what I'm currently working on. I'm not there yet, there's still some way to go.

After that, attitude is very important, as is whether you're passionate about it. Only seeing it as a job is entirely different from really being in love with it. If you only see it as a job, you might not be able to take it very far. But if you're passionate about it, it'll make you cry, and laugh, and may become the force that allows you to carry on.

And a strong physique (laughs), when I was in my twenties it was fine, now if I do an all-nighter I get really tired. That's the terrible truth. Being physically strong is really important, that's your foundation.

GQ: Which part or show made you feel you had earned approval?

XZ: The earliest was during The Wolf, I was under a lot of pressure then, my acting coach gave me lots of suggestions and guidance, and every single day I'd end up changing the way I did it. I was lost. After getting through that, I realised I'd grown from the experience, and was gradually getting the hang of it, and from then on I've gone on bit by bit. It's a cumulative process.

I feel like I haven't done enough, compared to some of my seniors. When they were in their 30s they already had tons of credits. I still don't have enough work out, I haven't accumulated enough.

GQ: Do you feel a sense of urgency?

XZ: Yeah, because I think (improvement) is a process of accumulation. It's impossible to make a giant leap with one show, that's unlikely for me. So I have to keep acting nonstop, but they have to be high quality works, rather than just wasting myself.

GQ: What were the considerations behind having three shows broadcast in 2023 that ranged from guzhuang to period drama to contemporary urban drama?

XZ: Actually there wasn't much consideration, it happened naturally. I don't deliberately avoid genres I've already done, it all depends on the script. Whatever script I get given, if I'm drawn to it, I'll choose it, it's just a coincidence that it was all material I hadn't done before.

GQ: Would you get tired of doing guzhuang all the time?

XZ: Guzhuang has many sub-genres. There's no real distinction between guzhuang and modern dramas - it's just putting on a wig and a different set of clothes, the core is the same, the only difference is the outer layer.

GQ: Do you follow your shows as they air?

XZ: Not on a daily basis, but I do watch. I'll pick out the scenes I particularly care about and pay special attention to those, as a way of critiquing my own work.

GQ: Do you have the audience commentary on?

XZ: I used to, it was fun to laugh along with everyone else, but these days I won't.

GQ: What kind of role do you want to play now?

XZ: If I can choose, of course I'd love to try something I haven't done yet. I need a sense of novelty - if you had to do the same thing every day, you'd get sick of it too.

GQ: What kind of actor do you want to be?

XZ: The kind that the audience likes.

GQ: Haven't you already achieved "being liked"?

XZ: No, no, not nearly enough. I thought about whether I wanted to be the kind of actor known for their unique characteristics, or one that an audience is instantly drawn to. At the moment I want to be an actor the audience is fond of. They might not be fans of yours, or even feel very positive toward you, but when they know you have a show on, they think, maybe I should check it out, his shows are all pretty good. That’s what I want, that’s my current goal. Whether I can reach the level of the actors I admire, that’s a long road, I’m going to take my time.

GQ: Who are the actors you like?

XZ: There are many, for example Zhou Xun has always been an actor I really like. I watched her most recent movie (Across the Furious Sea), it's brilliant.

GQ: What career plans do you have for 2024?

On life

XZ: Make more shows, work with more good people, that’s the current goal. I’m not thinking about the rest right now.

GQ: Does social media noise bother you?

XZ: It doesn't. If I still let it get to me after all this time, what kind of life would I live? (laughs) It's really not a big deal. So long as I'm clear about what I'm doing, it's fine. Every time you make a choice, you have to have a clear understanding of what you're doing, what you have to give up, and what you want to achieve. So it's fine. It's probably more of a bother for my crew.

GQ: Has it not affected your private life?

XZ: I live an extremely normal life. I can go for a bike ride or a walk. When you're on the street, no one actually cares who you are. It's really not like you imagine, I can walk around freely.

GQ: Is this kind of time an escape for you?

XZ: More a time to relax. Why would I need to escape? I live in this world too, where would I escape to? This is my life, I live it just the same as everyone else. There are so many things I really want to do, like take the crowded subway, wander around a mall, like I used to when I was a student. Maybe I will.

GQ: Do you miss the life of an ordinary person?

On personality

XZ: I don't miss it. I just think that's what I should do, being grounded. I really will get on a crowded subway car, maybe tomorrow, that's just normal. I used to do it every day. There's really not much I can't do. What are you going to do if you see me? We'd say hi and then be on our way. I just don't want to create disturbances, make trouble, or cause any negative repercussions.

GQ: You haven't been on any variety shows the past few years. Was that a deliberate choice?

XZ: It's because I'm not a good fit for it. With my personality, variety shows are too much. I'd constantly be trying to take care of everyone else's feelings, it would be really tiring. Since I know that's what it would be like, it's better not to do it at all.

GQ: What did you initially enter the industry for?

XZ: Honestly, I stumbled my way in totally inexplicably with no idea of what I was doing. I used to watch interviews with contestants who had placed high on survival shows, and they'd ask, how did you get here? The contestant would say, I came to the audition to keep my friend company, but my friend didn't get through and I did. When I was a kid, that kind of thing seemed very far away, but it really happened to me. Pretty wild. I entered a survival show, and now we're here. That's it. Life really is very strange and marvelous.

GQ: What's something about the industry you couldn't have thought of?

XZ: Not being able to eat whatever I want is really cruel. When I saw that one of my high school classmates had a kid already and had let themselves go a bit, I'd sigh - I want to eat freely like that too. Their lives make me think that if I hadn't chosen this road back then, maybe I'd be the same, constantly having to attend work functions, pulling all-nighters to get designs done. You can't imagine how rough it is in the graphic design industry, but that's just life, there's nothing to be done about it.

GQ: How has choosing this path changed you?

XZ: I probably have a lot less life experience. My classmates have all far surpassed me in this respect. All their experiences are of actual events, with no cameras on them, no lights, just their real life.

GQ: Are you an emotionally stable person?

XZ: Re-la-ti-ve-ly stable. But I become very unstable when something impacts my bottom line.

GQ: Like what?

XZ: That is...I can't say, haha. Like when something inexplicable happens, I'd feel like, what are you doing? Or when something a normal person wouldn't do happens, I'd get really pissed. Like privacy issues. Once it breaches my bottom line, I go nuts. Everyone has their own boundaries. Some people don't have a good sense of propriety, and I stay far away from them. But if someone pushes against my boundaries over and over and it violates my bottom line, I get very angry.

GQ: You once said that you have a very staunch side. What were you referring to?

XZ: Principle. I'm a very stubborn person, if I insist on something, if I think it's right, then it's very hard to convince me otherwise.

For example, I want to be an actor. I don't want to do anything other than acting. If you try to force me, then let’s have the debate. There’s no such thing as right and wrong, my crew are only looking out for me, isn’t it positive to have so much work? But for me, I need to simplify my life. Because there are some things I definitely don’t want.

GQ: Do you have a perfectionist side?

XZ: I just want to do it well, to the best of my ability. Maybe the result won't be ideal, but what's to be done about that? I can only do that much.

GQ: Can you accept failure?

XZ: I can. A few years ago, maybe I couldn't. But the 32 year old Xiao Zhan has learned to accept it (laugh).

[underfaller]

Chapter 12: λ (pt. 1)

Pairing: dottore x angel!reader Summary: You are a Heavenly Messenger from Celestia that’s been captured by a mysterious Doctor CW: smut Word count: 5k A/N: My birthday is on Monday, but I celebrated today. I had a lot of fun. I'm very grateful for my loved ones.

“Leave it to Pierro to take advantage of my near death experience,” Dottore shakes his head incredulously. “How callous. Giving me an assignment after I explicitly expressed that I did not want to take it.” 

After the fiasco in Dragonspine, Dottore concluded that it would be best to leave for Liyue. It wouldn’t be logical for them to stay in Mondstadt after they’d assaulted such a high ranking member of the Knights of Favonius. Even if it was Albedo that started their altercation, those simpleton Knights would surely take the alchemist's side. It was simply too much of a headache for Dottore to deal with, especially since he now had to worry about finding more Abyssal samples when the only known portal to the Abyss refused to let them back in. 

….So he'd also sent a letter to Pierro sheepishly recounting the events and the status of their mission. At first, he’d thought against it, knowing that the Jester would give him an earful. However, it’s better to report such things before Pierro inevitably finds out. 

At least Dottore will not have to hear such scoldings in person. 

The Jester replied with surprising calmness-- Perhaps he’s used to Dottore’s uncanny ability to cause chaos wherever the scholar went. Dottore was relieved that he got off so easily-- until he read the last paragraph.

Since you are in Liyue already, I have a task for you…

The two of you walk through the bustling streets of Liyue. The tall houses and shops overshadow you with their jade-colored rooftops. A slight breeze spreads yellow leaves across the pavilion. Though it’s still quite early in the morning, both vendors and customers alike go to and fro, ready to start another day of commerce. The salty smell of the port is still poignant in the city streets. Lanterns and vibrantly colored umbrellas hang from the eaves of some buildings, swaying lazily with the seabreeze. 

Dottore clenches the thick letter in his hand. As you two cross a small, insecting bridge and enter the business district of the city, he becomes more agitated. 

Curse you, Pierro. I told you that I am not a diplomat.

“It’s absurd, really. How he thinks he can-” 

Dottore suddenly turns towards you. You’ve been strangely quiet all this time. He notices that you’re reading as you walk, grasping his coat tightly, using him as a guide in order not to bump into your surroundings. 

“Are you even listening to me? Or am I speaking to a brick wall?” Dottore snaps.

No answer. 

Dottore narrows his eyes before abruptly stopping in his tracks. 

“Oof!” 

You inevitably walk into his tall frame, stumbling a little. Dottore takes pleasure in the little noise of surprise you make. You straighten up, looking at him with slight confusion. He taps your nose, teasingly.  

“I do not like being ignored, dear.” 

You sigh before closing your book with a loud snap. You glare at Dottore, your feathers ruffled with irritation. 

“I am listening. However, you have complained multiple times about the same things. It will not change your predicament,” You explain before waving your hand in dismissal of his annoyance. “You should feel fortunate. At least your superior isn't too angry at the mayhem you've created in Mondstadt.” 

“He shouldn't be. It was hardly my fault,” Dottore protests, folding his arms indignantly.  

“Tch. Ok, Doctor.” 

Dottore cocks his head slightly as he watches you for just a moment. He wonders if you blamed him.

He wonders if you’ve lost any sliver of respect for him. 

Especially after he’d almost drowned. 

Dottore has been thinking of the experience quite a bit. He certainly isn’t one to be caught in such a predicament. He’s a Harbinger, after all. A scholar and probably the smartest man alive in Teyvat. He did not lose. Yet, there he’d been; soaking wet, lungs filled with icy water, in the arms of his teary eyed assistant who couldn’t stop crying as he awkwardly consoled her. Dottore bit his lip. He despises himself for allowing such an event to happen. He hates being blindsided. He hates showing weakness. He hates how this stood as a stark reminder that he is still, despite everything, human. 

And most importantly, Dottore hates that he showed all that in front of you. 

You, who’d saved his life, did you hate him for being so weak? 

He probably will never know the answer. You did not speak of what you did for him. You preferred such things to be kept in the past-- And he did too. 

“What does the Jester want you to do, anyways?” 

Your voice breaks Dottore from his thoughts. Dottore gestures towards the letter in his hand. 

“I am to speak to Liyue's financial director, Zhang Baihu. Liyue is the heart of Teyvat's commerce and the birthplace of Mora,” Dottore shrugs. “The Fatui want to tap into such resources with a business alliance between them and Snezhnaya.” 

You smirk. 

“Heh. Is the Tsaritsa cutting the Fatui’s allowance?” 

Dottore gives a wry chuckle. 

“More like the Tsaritsa has no Mora to give us,” Dottore scoffs. “Her war against Celestia has put a strain on an already struggling economy. So, naturally, she calls upon her favorite children to take care of her.” 

By the way, when did I become such an obedient dog obeying these menial orders?

How unbecoming. 

"You certainly do not seem pleased to speak to the financial director. Let me guess, another bridge previously burned?"

"I'm not meant for stuffy, bureaucratic matters like this,” Dottore rolls his eyes. “Talk is cheap. I can't respect someone who only gets what he wants with his sweet tongue. I'm more of a man of action."

"Yet, despite what you claim you always have a lot to say though, Doctor," You joke, a small smile crawling on your lips. 

You have been smiling much more, lately. 

"Do you dislike my voice that much?" Dottore raises an eyebrow. 

"I tolerate it,” You reply. You laugh before noticing his slight downward gaze. “Don’t act so sullen. Even with your mask on, I know you are sulking. I don’t complain too much, do I?” 

“I am not ‘sulking’. You give your words too much power.” 

You grin before pointing towards a large case of stone stairs that lead to the port. From here, you can see a group of men setting up a large stage. Vendors are setting up stalls with colorful, painted screens behind them. Banners and lanterns have started to dot the once empty pier. 

“What are they preparing for?” You ask curiously. 

“Lantern Rite Festival. Liyue’s largest cultural event,” Dottore explains. “They celebrate it for the first full moon of the year.”

That wondrous glint of curiosity and excitement flickers across your widened eyes.  

“Oh! Can we visit the festival?” You plead. "Please, Doctor?"

Dottore shakes his head.

"I apologize, my dear. We aren’t meant to stay here much longer. We’ll probably depart before such festivities begin.” 

“Oh.”

You avert your eyes, a small hint of sadness apparent on your face. Dottore can tell you are disappointed. He sighs before ruffling your hair as he always did. 

“...But if we are still here, then… perhaps," He says, shortly. “But do not hold me to those words.”

You look at Dottore, your smile returning. 

“Ok, doctor!” 

Why is it so difficult to not give in to you? 

As Dottore leads you up the lavish steps in front of a luxurious looking door, he turns toward you. 

“This will only take a moment. You do not have to speak. I’ll handle this.” 

You nod.

“Understood.” 

You both enter and are greeted by a large, open area with a large, Cuihua wood desk in the middle. There, a secretary sits, busily working. She wears a slim dress in light lilac with flowers embroidered on it. When she sees Dottore, she immediately stands up, brushing herself off and coming around the front of the desk.

“Oh, Lord Harbinger. Hello.” The secretary bows deeply. “The Financial Director is expecting you. Please follow me.” 

Dottore raises an eyebrow. He didn’t know that his arrival would be anticipated. He takes your hand as you both follow the secretary down a hall adorned with paintings and expensive trinkets. He can't help but feel slight disdain for the gaudy opulence of this building. It is as if its owner cared more about the price of things than their use. The secretary stops in front of a large door before knocking once. From behind it, Dottore notices a faint melody of someone playing the violin. 

“Enter.” 

The secretary hurriedly opens the door, politely gesturing him in. Dottore steps inside the Director’s office. It is as lavishly decorated as the exterior of the room. A large painting on the wall depicts a large, white tiger. Atop the long desk in the middle of the room is a small scale with multiple pieces of Mora on each plate along with a few, neatly piled scrolls. Behind that, is a large window overlooking a bright, Liyue landscape. 

A tall man stands in front of the window. He wears a long, black garment with red lining. His long, dark hair is pinned with various pure gold accessories. He doesn’t seem to notice his guests as he continues to masterfully play the violin in his hand, his back turned towards the window. 

The secretary bows once again.

“Sir. The Harbinger from Snezhnaya is here.” 

It’s then that the music stops. The Financial Director of Liyue turns towards Dottore then to his secretary. 

“Thank you. Now please leave us.” 

His glasses are attached to a thin, gold chain that dangles daintily at the sides of his sharp face. He looks at Dottore as he sets down the instrument delicately upon his desk, nodding towards it. 

"Tchaikovsky. His only concerto for the violin. Such a shame, don't you think?" 

"Truly, though I am surprised a man from Liyue would know a Snezhnayan composer."

The Director smiles. The gesture certainly does not meet his eyes. 

"I know lots about Snezhnaya. But we weren't here to compare our homeland's music. Come, sit. Let's talk business, shall we?" He outstretches a black, gloved hand. "I am Zhang Baihu, Liyue's Financial Director."

Dottore firmly shakes the Director's hand. 

"Il Dottore, second Fatui Harbinger. And this is Y/N, my assistant," He motions towards you before gazing once more at the Director. "I am quite curious. How did you know of our arrival?"

Baihu glances at Dottore, his eyes enigmatic. 

"There are ears on the other side of the wall," He answers slyly. 

How pretentious. 

I dislike him already.

Dottore sits in one of the leather chairs in front of the Director. You are beside him, though because of how long the table is, there is some distance between you two. That smug grin never leaves Baihu's face even as he sits in front of the Doctor, steepling his gloves fingers as he leans forward. 

"I'm almost impressed by your superior's proposition." Baihu muses. “Such boldness for one so desperate.”

Dottore clenches his fists tightly in his lap. He opens his mouth, however, before he can even speak, Baihu continues. 

"Liyue has kept its wealth contained to its own borders since Morax bestowed the power of Mora minting to us. Giving the Fatui their own financial branch in Liyue would be a bit blasphemous towards the god, no?" 

What do the gods care what we do with their creations?

Dottore laughs, crossing his legs as he rests his chin on his hand. 

"The gods may have created a universal currency, but it is us mortals who finalized its financial establishment on our own. Making decisions solely based on faith sounds counterintuitive."

Baihu hums in agreement.

"I suppose you are correct. Even still, opening such facets to the Fatui gives nothing of fair value to Liyue," Baihu plays with the scale on the wooden surface. One of the scales tilt drastically as his index finger lays on it. 

"And least of all…to me. If I were to approve this, I would most certainly fall from the public's eye."

"I didn’t think you’d cared so much of what the common man thought of you."

"Please. A man's reputation is everything in this field." 

Reputation? What a frivolous thing to care about.

Though… he wasn’t one to talk about caring about frivolous things now. 

Dottore leans back in his chair. 

"Well, Mr. Zhang, I can assure you that approving our proposal would be beneficial to your reputation--Especially with Liyue's recent changes in government."

"Ah yes. Your little puppet candidate that's now on the Qixing Committee. Of course you’d bring him up,” Baihu chuckles softly, pushing his glasses up his tall nose. “Tell me, how much did you bribe him with? Please don't tell me it's because of him that you're on your knees at my doorstep."

"Ah, bribery,” Dottore waves away such accusations. “The Fatui would never resort to such methods. Despite the rumors, our methods are clear cut...Just like a Qixing investigation upon the beloved financial director’s many distasteful dealings would be."

Dottore’s words drawl at that last sentence. Baihu's eyes flicker with annoyance, his glasses glinting dangerously. 

"If you are trying to threaten me, it will not work. Many before you have attempted such folly…" Baihu chuckles. "And it did not end well for them."

Dottore clicks his tongue. 

"Tut, tut. I'm merely stating facts. Unless you see the truth as a threat."

Baihu purses his lips, before sighing and standing up, sauntering around the corner of the desk. 

"The truth is what does in power deem fit. It's all subjective," He notes. "Though, I'd rather not face the ire of the Qixing Committee. Not yet." 

It's then that Baihu pauses, standing right next to you. A dark smile passes his lips. 

"Your assistant is very beautiful,” He gazes down at you. “Y/N, is it?" 

You nod. Baihu takes your hand, pressing it up to his lips as he lightly kisses it. 

"A pleasure to meet you, my dear." 

My dear?

Dottore stiffens seeing the financial director towering over you with hungry eyes. He has the sudden urge to push Baihu away from you or perhaps something much more drastic. Instead, Dottore stays in his seat, tightly gripping the armrest as he intently watches the director. 

Careful now. Don't lose your cool for someone as insignificant as this. 

Or something as insignificant as this.

Baihu's hand grazes the back of your wings as he takes in your figure. You look uncomfortable, shifting in your seat as this stranger dotes on you. 

"And look at your wings! I've never seen anything like them. Truly magnificent!" Baihu praises. “Tell me, Harbinger, where did you get such a fine individual?” 

Dottore clears his throat loudly. 

"Mr. Zhang. Perhaps we should get back to our discussion."

Baihu gazes at Dottore, a smirk curling on his mischievous face. 

"I can assure you this is part of our business, Harbinger."

"And how is fawning over my assistant "business"?" Dottore asks. His voice is low. Dangerously low. 

Baihu lets out an amused laugh. 

"Because I am a man of earthly pleasures. And as such, I'd be more inclined to accept the Fatui's proposal if you pleased me. Or in particular, your assistant did." 

Baihu caresses your face, using the top of his index finger to tilt your head up at him, still smirking at Dottore. 

Dottore is grateful for his mask because he is furious. The Doctor takes a deep breath-- he’s so close to turning this cocky banker into a puddle of visceral and blood. 

Someone of my caliber should be above emotions like jealousy, but…

"How unprofessional. Are all you businessmen so distasteful? My assistant is not a bartering chip,” Dottore chides through clenched teeth. 

"Oh? Why not?" Baihu responds smugly. "Can you not let your dear assistant go for just one night? Not even for what your superior wants?"

Baihu shakes his head in mock disappointment. 

“Come now, Harbinger. Be reasonable. It's simply a basic quid pro quo, hm?"

With that, Baihu grabs your chin, pressing his lips against your cheek. Your eyes widen with a mix of shock and disgust as you instantly try to push Baihu off. 

… But I’m going to make this man pay. 

Dottore jumps up, reacting before he even completely processed what just happened. Logic, calculation, and the state of this meeting are thrown out the window as he quickly pushes himself between you and Baihu, sharp teeth bared as he glares at the delighted director. 

He’s livid. 

"Don't. Touch. Her." 

"Oh! How adorable!" Baihu utters. He leans in Dottore's ear, whispering. "Why are you so upset? Do what you're told. Run to your Fatui master like an obedient little dog and let me have some fun."

He’s seeing red. 

Dottore instantly grabs the financial director by the collar of his silk garment, pushing Baihu roughly into the table with a loud crash. You jump to your feet. Dottore’s face is twisted in fury as he pins the man to the desk, ready to strike. Baihu laughs aloud. His glasses are lopsided as he stares gleefully at Dottore with lilac eyes. 

“Haha! Was that all it took to get you to lose your composure? How hilariously easy!"

He’s going to kill this man. 

"You insolent bastard," Dottore growls, his voice nearly trembling with rage. "Don’t play games with me, inconsequential worm--" 

Dottore feels a hard tug on the back of his coat. He turns to see you, your face impossible to read. 

"Stop, Doctor," You state, quietly. 

“But-” 

“He isn't worth it.”

You're right. 

He completely lost control. He hasn't felt this angry since the Akademiya. 

Dottore glares at Baihu one last time before reluctantly releasing him and stepping back. He turns to you. You give him a weak smile.

How many times would you witness his defeat? 

Dottore straightens his coat, shaking his head once more before turning back towards Baihu. 

“I apologize for my...outburst. Perhaps we can meet again under more calm conditions.”

“I don’t think we need to discuss things further, Harbinger,” He folds his arms. “You can leave my office now.” 

He’s triumphant. He knows he’s won. 

Without another word, Dottore grabs your hand, more or less dragging you out of Baihu’s office. He storms through the hallway, past the confused secretary and back into the bright, Liyue pavilion. It’s only then that he explodes once again, his rage spilling into his words. 

“Pathetic, stupid worm! Who does he think he is?” Dottore fumes. “Touching you. Disrespecting me. All the things he said…” 

Dottore shoves his hair back away from his mask. He grabs your face, his hands pressing against your cheeks. 

“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you did he? If he did, I shall march back in there and kill him instantly.” 

You shake your head. You look unnerved. He lets you go. Your hand rubs the spot where Baihu kissed you. You look back at your hand with disgust. 

“I can still feel his lips. How revolting.” 

Dottore begins to see red again. His jealousy bubbling just above the surface as he thinks of Baihu touching you. His hand grips yours even tighter as you make your way back to the inn. For a second, Dottore considers keeping you in the lab from now on. A pretty little bird in a cage. Never seen by another man's eyes. No one would ever have the chance to do such things to you. 

How dare he. You’re mine. My assistant, not his. 

His possessiveness over you surprises even himself. 

He may have even been angrier about what happened to you than you were. 

Dottore is absolutely silent the rest of the walk, sulking and stewing in defeat. You don’t say a word, your head downcast as you trot beside him. It’s only once you arrive at the inn does Dottore start again. 

“I swear I will cut his kidney out and sell it back to him,” Dottore mutters as you both enter your quarters.

“What will you do? He’ll never approve of your proposal now,” You say, laying on your bed, your face turned towards the decorated ceiling. 

“Killing him is always an option,” Dottore grumbles, flopping beside you. 

“A dead man cannot accept a deal.” 

“I will think of something,” Dottore sighs. 

“I know you will.” 

Suddenly, Dottore rolls over. He hovers over you, his arms caging you within his frame. His hidden eyes search yours as you gaze back at him. 

“How dare he touch you. How dare he kiss you,” Dottore mutters. 

You narrow your eyes. 

“Have you always been this jealous? I've never seen you so emotional about, well, anything .” 

I am above human weakness and emotion. I create, I build...and then watch it all burn. 

And yet. 

“This isn't emotional,” Dottore utters. “This is simply making sure my things stay mine.”

With that, Dottore crashes his lips against yours. Your astonishment is muted by his tongue as he roughly pushes it between your parted lips. You don’t fight him. Instead, closing your eyes and leaning into his kiss. 

Good. 

He breaks away from you, letting you catch your breath for just a moment before straddling you as he tilts your head, kissing and suckling your jawline as he moves down to your neck. 

“You’re becoming distracted, Doctor,” You whisper. 

“Tch. Did you think I would simply leave you after what he did?” Dottore states, his words reverberating into the crook of your neck. “No… I’m going to reclaim what’s mine.” 

Before you can give a snarky response, Dottore sinks his sharp teeth into the soft skin. 

“Ah!” 

You cry out, whether in shock or pain or both-- it doesn’t matter.  You struggle meekly, your wings fluttering against the sheets. Dottore pins your wrists over your head with his free hand as he continues. The faint, metallic taste of blood soon trickles onto his taste buds as he breaks skin. 

Delicious. 

Was your blood always this sweet?

You whimper softly, tears involuntarily pricking your eyes from the pain. When he notices them, he instantly laps them up, savoring the saltiness. 

“Don’t cry, my little birdie,” Dottore simpers. “You know you enjoy this.” 

He’s correct. He swears he hears you softly moan more than once.

Dottore’s hand travels down towards your lower regions, up your long skirt. He presses a finger against your underwear. 

“You’re so wet already. Do you actually like the pain I inflict upon you?” 

“Mm..Ngnh…” 

He takes that as a yes. 

Dottore slips his hand into the fabric, playing with your clit, running his index against the slick of your opening. He presses his finger deep into your cunt, curling his finger as he does. He notices your back arch as he does so and smiles. It isn’t before long that he inserts another finger, pumping them rhythmically in and out of your hole as it becomes more and more wet from his stimulation. You press yourself into his palm, your legs quivering against him. 

You try to turn your head, but his other hand keeps you in place, letting Dottore continue the assault on your bare shoulder. Your moans grow louder. His biting, his fingers, the pain and pleasure-- you soon orgasm against his index and middle finger. Dottore chuckles softly. 

“Yes, my dear. Just like that.” 

My dear. 

Dottore sits up, wiping his mouth. The faintest stain of your blood is still on his lips. He looks down, admiring his handiwork. Small bites and bruises line your neck and shoulder. 

“Now there is no question who you belong to,” Dottore gives a toothy grin under his mask. “How does it feel to be so clearly marked by me?” 

You peer at him through half-lidded eyes. You do not answer his question. A light pink tints your cheeks as your chest rapidly rises and falls. You slowly sit up, but he pushes you back down again. 

“Nuh, uh, uh, little birdie,” Dottore gently scolds you. “I didn’t say we were done, yet.” 

Dottore slips off your clothing. Your blouse, your skirt, your undergarments. Soon, you’re completely naked against the cream sheets. Dottore undoes his belt, slipping his hardened cock from his dress pants. He positions himself in front of your wet entrance. Normally, he’d want to tease you. To make you beg for him. But right now, that doesn’t matter. He’s chasing his own pleasures. He’s licking his own wounds. 

He’s finding comfort in your body. 

Dottore pushes into you. Your slick walls envelop him and he groans, his noises of pleasure intermingling with yours. He starts slow, but soon becomes impatient, thrusting into you rapidly. Your face is completely flushed now. You wrap your arms around his neck, trying to gain some support against his harsh movements. Your moans against his skin make him even harder. He grins slightly. 

“See how much you love being mine?” Dottore asks. “How pitiful, falling in love with someone like me.”

He knows his words are a farce-perhaps a twisted projection- but saying such things are oddly comforting to one who consistently denies comfort. 

That's quite alright though-- it's easier to keep you controlled this way.” 

Easier to reassure myself that you will not be swayed by another.

You attempt a sully look, however, it’s impossible to look threatening in this position. 

“You think too highly of yourself, Doctor,” You manage to say. “And even if you were correct, you would never know.”

He laughs. 

“Me, not knowing something? I highly doubt it.” 

Dottore lifts your left leg, resting it on his shoulder. This new position lets him push even deeper than before. You cry out as his hips snap into you. You clench the sheets, moaning loudly. You’re saying his name. Moaning it. Yelling it. 

Yes, repeat my name. Let everyone know you belong to me. 

He can feel your walls tighten, sucking him in as you near your second orgasm. He’s close too, a familiar pressure building inside him as he climaxes. 

You cum at nearly the exact same time. Dottore thrusts one last time into you, spilling thick, white ropes of semen into your womb that mixes with your own fluids. He pulls out, panting as the lightheadedness slowly dissipates from his skull. Dottore stands back up, adjusting himself. You’re still naked, curled atop the bed, a slight tremble occasionally courses through you as you recover from your last orgasm. 

What a sight to behold. 

Your wings cover your body as you curl into an even tighter ball, no doubt about to fall asleep. 

Dottore watches as your breathing slows and when he’s certain you’ve lost consciousness, he sits beside you, watching you sleep. Tentatively, he lays beside you, studying you, taking your image in like you’re a research study he’s never read before. 

He slowly reaches his hand out, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. He furrows his brow as that familiar pounding in his chest returns. 

Oh why, why, why does this feeling return each time he sees you. 

Anaxiphilia. The act of falling in love with one you know you shouldn't be with. He'd always been enraptured with the forbidden, with the taboo, what he was told he could not have. 

Was it really any surprise that he'd fallen for his own trap? 

Perhaps in that silly experiment, it'd always been him that was the subject, not you. 

I've made a grievous error. 

An unprecedented miscalculation. 

Perhaps the biggest one in my career thus far. 

And I only have myself to blame. 

Dottore rolls on his back, staring at the ceiling in disarray. He bites back a frustrated groan. He clutches his chest as if he was having a heart attack. He’d prefer that. He’d prefer to have his heart crushed a thousand times than realize something so humiliating and agonizing. 

“Calculating and intelligent as you are, you are still human.”

He’d run from the fact for weeks. He’d denied it every step of the way. He wanted to delude himself, telling his lovesick mind that he was above such feelings. That he wasn't human enough to feel this. But as his heart flutters once more as he stares into your unconscious face and the desire to embrace your sleeping frame embeds itself in his mind, Dottore realizes that he knew this painstaking truth all along. After all, it didn’t take a genius to realize what he’s feeling. 

I've fallen for her. 

I who am destined to be a god in this mortal world-- How could this happen? 

Dottore stares back at the ceiling. He grits his teeth. He'll never admit a mistake on his part. Not before. Not now. 

So no one can ever know. 

Least of all, you. 

A small knock at the door. Dottore strides to it, opening the door to reveal a Fatui agent who bows. 

“We’ve gathered some interesting intel of Director Zhang’s activities for tonight,” The agent states as she hands him a file. 

Dottore pulls one of the papers out, examining it carefully. He smirks. 

How interesting. 

He nods towards the agent. 

“You’re dismissed.” 

Dottore closes the door once again. As Dottore prepares to leave, he gazes at you once again. 

No. He wouldn’t wake you. He could handle this himself. 

He wouldn’t let you near that Baihu again. 

Dottore approaches you, taking off his mask and letting his long hair spill out. He presses the hard material against your face before kissing you once, right where Baihu had. He lets his lips linger for just a moment longer before straightening up and readjusting his mask. He starts to say something, but stops himself. 

You open your eyes a little, sleepily murmuring. 

“What was that?” 

Dottore shakes his head. 

“Nothing. Sleep well.” 

You do as you're told. 

Perhaps he uttered three very different words in another timeline. But here, they will never be spoken. Because even still, he couldn't. He couldn't ever admit it. He wouldn’t. 

After all, those who hate themselves like he did can't possibly love.

Past chapters here

[animehouse-moe]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

You're all good! This is the first time I've been asked this. I'm usually terrible with favorites so I always feel like I don't pick the "best" in hindsight, but I'll try to be as accurate as possible. These will also be in no particular order since they all occupy such different areas.

(edit: I just realized in my incredible morning brain state that this said male or female, but I only read the female part haha. So this is just the female lineup, I guess).

Iwakura Lain - Serial Experiments Lain

Lain's a character that has, and will always remain enigmatic. Subjectivity and personal experience remain intertwined with works like Serial Experiments Lain, so what each individual takes away from it will change. Personally, what makes me love Lain is her desperation to communicate, to connect with the people around her. To make friends, to do fun things with them, to understand the people that comprise her life. But that desire spirals, she gets absorbed (like so many do) and becomes something else entirely. Fracturing and separating herself, spreading those instances across the internet in a desperate way to connect. For existing prior to essentially all forms of social media, it depicts the struggle and addiction that trouble countless people in freakishly accurate fashion.

Iwakura Mitsumi - Skip and Loafer

Had to put them next to each other on this list haha. Iwakura Mitsumi though. I don't hate the approach of a lot of Shojosei in terms of high school slice of life/romance, but I find much more to love with the more grounded ones than the more fantastical, just a personal preference. Anyways, Mitsumi. She's just the perfect representation of high school life. A dash of confidence, a good bit of deep seated anxiety, lots of stress over school and friends, but a positive and hopeful outlook in spite of her stumbling and struggles that's wonderfully accented by blossoming feelings of love. She just occupies a space that is very rare these days, so of course I love her.

Ryougi Shiki - The Garden of Sinners

Okay, hot take since (spoiler) Saber's not going to be on the list. I just haven "completed" Saber's story if that makes sense. I've read a lot, experienced a lot, but I haven't gotten 100% of it like I have with Shiki. That said, Shiki's story. I mean, as a character they're so damn hard to really capture. After all, there's more than one of them, and their story is told through the experiences of others. Shiki as a character, and The Garden of Sinners as a series, just holds a special place in my heart as Nasu's first real creative work that remains untethered by the requirements of a visual novel. If Nasu's work on the VNs is the base level, then The Garden of Sinners stands a cut above from start to finish.

Hatsuseno Alpha - Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou

A robot that is startlingly human, but surprisingly childlike. Alpha was is just the perfect vehicle to experience YKK through. Vast understanding and interest, but meaningful naivete and curiosity. She explores a world peacefully accepting its death, and is able to pull such beautiful moments from it. She doesn't struggle or bemoan the end, but rather takes it in stride and focuses on the beauty of humanity, how it's adapted, what's been lost and what's been created in its stead. It brings it all together under this character that is so deeply passionate about exploring life even under these circumstances, that you can't help but feel an indescribable warmth in her story.

Biwa - Heike Monogatari

Okay, maybe I'm cheating a little bit with Biwa here, but it's just a character that I think is incredibly beautiful. Witnessing the murder of her father, she's taken in by a clan doomed to death, where a man possesses a similar ability to Biwa. Together, she struggles to create the family she never had, all the while forced to come to terms with their deaths. She fights tooth and nail to keep them alive, but her attempts are futile. In the end, she is given her adoptive father's ability and completes what one might call the "cycle". Seeing life and death, the eternal struggle that will never change, she experiences her life, her family, her future and past to its fullest, and commits her life to telling the story of the Heike that she was so fond of. It's a beautiful story centered around Biwa's experiences, and her fear of death and not having a family, truly wonderful stuff. Also Aoi Yuuki kills it as Biwa.

Kusanagi Motoko - Ghost In The Shell

This was baby's first big kid series for me. I'd always watched anime here and there, but mostly things like Bleach/Naruto/DBZ. Ghost in The Shell was the first really big series I'd dip my toes into via those 4 minute YouTube videos at 480p. Kusanagi's nature as the bridge between technology and humanity is endlessly explored and just such a great idea, that through the countless (good) iterations, there's a wealth of her to experience. Undoubtedly an iconic series, and one that's certainly remembered very fondly by me.

Kirigoe Mima - Perfect Blue

Mima's an incredible character driven to the psychological breaking point. Under the scrutiny and pressure of being an idol, the facade begins to crack and what seeps out from the gaps is nothing short of incredible. Satoshi Kon remains a wizard in what he did with his works, and for me, Mima's character in Perfect Blue is the pinnacle of that. An implicit story of the stress and strain placed on idols (and the entertainment industry at large) by those that string them up and sell the souls of these girls, Perfect Blue and Mima remain in a realm of their own in a lot of ways.

Nozomi - Sonny Boy

Well as they say, the proof is in the pudding, and the pudding in this case is Nozomi's name. Translating from Japanese it means "wish" or "desire" in English, and is the personification of Nozomi's role in Sonny Boy. As close to a catalyst as one can be, she spurs on the wishes of the characters around her, providing the foundation for our main character Nagara to grow and develop. In the end, the desires of each individual can be connected to Nozomi, even in her death. She's arguably more central to the plot of Sonny Boy than Nagara, so of course I see her as a deeply special character.

Kamikoshi Sorawo - Otherside Picnic

A somewhat different pick to help round out the list. Sorawo Kamikoshi, and Otherside Picnic at large, are certainly things that I don't think most people would fall in love with. But I did. The vitriol that her character expresses, the toxicity and self hatred and destruction. Her character is a very damaging and "bad" one, but that's what I love about it. There's no grand scheme behind Sorawo's personality, or any ideal that her character chases. She follows the whims and curiosities of her life as she willingly casts herself into the abyss of the Otherside alongside Toriko, and along the way, she learns to slowly grow and improve as a person while maintaining her core personality.

Osaki Nana - Nana

The duality of Nana as a character is just so well done to me. A character with two sides isn't anything special, but I think the way that Yazawa approaches her as a character, and introduces those cracks in her façade and the struggle that they represent is just really, really good. It has me really desperate for Yazawa to return from hiatus and continue on with Nana.

And that's the list. I know I've left off characters like Tohru or other massively popular (and well written) leads and characters from shojosei series, but a lot of what I desire out of a character can't quite be found in a lot of what ends up popular and translated (and what I tend to remember) I feel. If you take a look at the list, for example, you'll find that the majority of my favorites are from older series, as well as ones that feature more "tragic" or "twisted" characters. Personally, I find a flower most beautiful after you've understood how it's wilted and withered before it fights to bloom once more. Endless blooms that grant an eternal summer are undeniably beautiful, but that beauty tends to lack context and in turn can become simplicity. So that's my list, as imperfect and everchanging as it is. If I'm asked once more in a year, it will probably look startlingly different, but that's how these things will go with me.