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#also was challenging myself to draw full body stuff
habken · 1 year
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Just- how long does it take you to just draw? Because the sheer amount of details you put and the coloring must take ages
I mean ofc it depends in the piece, but like aprox?? In a fully rendered piece?? Just how
It really does depend haha and I’m super bad at judging time, so I just have guesses and approximations on how long stuff took but I can try and give examples!
It’s long so I’m putting them under the cut
Usually sketches and the busts I do with a bunch of different expressions take the shortest amount of time, something like the nimona sketches I did took maybe an hour or two ? Sometimes takes a bit longer if it’s a character I’m unfamiliar with because I want to make sure I have their design right and also that I’m illustrating their personality in a more or less accurate way.
The drawings with Kaminari, I think those took 5-7 hours?? Again super hard for me to figure out exact times cause I don’t really keep track of it and I like wandering in the middle of drawing so my sense of time is real bad. The expressions probably were an hour or under, and the full bodies took a lot longer, cause there was posing, styling, shoe drawing, colouring etc. involved.
The domestic bkdk comic I did for the top tier zine took way way longer, I want to say anywhere between 40-60 hours lol. I worked on it for months so that’s about as accurate as I can give in terms of time spent. I got hung up on a lot of details with it and the colouring took forever.
The villain attack comic took about 35+ hours ? The backgrounds took forever lol, I was trying to get better with freehand perspective, I struggle the most with environments and I wanted to challenge myself with both that and with drawing a comic with more action.
Finally, the one with little bakugou and deku holding hands I think took somewhere around 8 hours ? I was trying some new stuff with colouring and also background stuff
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lucianinsanity · 10 months
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Hi Lucian! How does your writing or art reflect and/or challenge the values you grew up with? These could be cultural, family, and/or personal values and beliefs.
Alright, let's see, this one's hard
Well, I do belive I grew up being taught to be accepting and kind, so I guess that reflects on the way I do art
Also, kinda fucked up, but since I grew up religious (catholic) I went to church a lot, and they really hammered in that there's value on your pain, that suffering is something you do and has value (most of my family doesn't agree with this, but you know, when you hear "place a stone in your shoe, because heaven belongs to the suffering ones " you internalize that shit), so it kinda impacts the way I write about pain and suffering
I do believe pain has value, but not as something you have to do or you have to experience, but as, a human thing that happens, and ignoring it is not good, what I was taught is to live with it, to stay silent and just be grateful of being able to do stuff even with pain
I think feeling what you feel is important, not just brushing it off, but actually sitting and feeling it, so I try to represent that, suffering is not shameful or silent, but is also not something that you do to yourself because punishing yourself makes you a good person
Also, in the aspect of being morbid, the idea that what you think hurts others even if you don't act on it
Struggled a lot having intrusive toughts and liking horror and all that, I like writing sad and painful stuff, I like making characters suffer, I like when there's scary shit, and being morbid is like "bad" or whatever, but it's just something that happens, we love hearing and telling stories where people suffer, and even now I stuggle with censoring myself when I write, I want to write a lot more tbh
And I also mean in enjoying sad stuff, a lot of people that I know in real life seem to be so uncomfortable or just confused by the idea of enjoying sad stories (or horror stories), mostly "why would you do that if it makes you feel bad", sometimes you need to, crying or getting scared safely helps a lot sometimes (and it's fun to make people upset in a safe way too, we both know what you're getting into when I tag "hurt no comfort")
In the art part, boobs, nudity is neutral, and bodies have different shapes and colors and sizes and they are all so fun and wonderful, people who don't like drawing fat people are missing on the fun of making so many curved lines (I enjoy them way too much, all my art looks squishy even when I don't want it to)
Also it's in no way subtle, but I do draw myself as a demon for a reason
And I love art unapologetically, it's hard being an artist, I do good art, I love what I do, and I truly believe this is my calling, this is what I want to do with my life, I do art with full sincerity and that makes people uncomfotable sometimes (mostly my family, but whatever)
I don't know if this truly answers what you asked me 😅
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gumnut-logic · 2 years
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Okay, I’m possibly nuts, actually, probably nuts, but I’ve been looking for a way to activate my art a bit more. I can draw, paint, whatever and I have a studio full of glorious equipment that is barely getting used.
I had thought to start a sketch book, but the problem with that is that not all my media can be supported in a sketch book and plus I am horribly hard to tie down into one thing (you may have noticed).
I was pondering away and it occurred to me that the one thing that links all my art and craft media is colour. This combined with the fact that I have a pile of beads lined up on my desk in colour combos waiting for me to action something with them. They are like mini palettes.
So what if I come up with a small combination of colours every week and do whatever with those colours?
I know I’m not the first to have this brain wave, but it struck me today as something I could do, so I’m doing it. Initially for the month of February (alongside FabFiveFeb, which I’m also prepping) and see what happens. It may fizzle into nothing due to being back at work :( but at the very least I’ll end up with a little bit of creative stuff done?
So I’m slapping it here, in case anyone would like to join in.
Outline
I will post a small palette of colours, probably on the Sunday (except for Week One which is down below).
Take the colours, which will not be precise, because I’m too lazy to get out my Pantone swatches, and colour matching sucks across monitors and printers and yeah, it’s a graphic design nightmare. So take the approximate colours and do something with with them. Art, craft, traditional, digital, performance, big, small, using all the colours, one of the colours, a derivative of the colours, fanworks or not fanworks, whatever works. I know, getting the creative brain to produce anything is a pain in many body parts. And writers, if this floats your boat, grab it and let’s go sailing :D
Post it to your blog (or not, but I’d love to see it anyway) and tag with #nuttypalette (the whole challenge title is too long and it abbreviates to npc which while I love Ryan Reynolds, isn’t really what I’m looking for :D )
Week One
Here we go.
This week’s palette I stole from my macrame stash. These colours went zing after hunting through my pile of cords and I’ve started a five-weave macrame bracelet with them. But I also have other ideas, so let’s see what happens :D
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When I had to slap together the logo above I figured this was the colour set this week, so I used it.
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So if you would like to join in, have at it. Write, draw, paint, craft, scribble, whatever works :D
It should also be noted that I’m definitely going to include some of the Thunderbirds colours along the way cos I can’t help myself.
Wanna play?
Nutty
(let’s see if it works at all)
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5hehzada · 11 months
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100 hyeops (for real this time)
some (a lot) thoughts below
the first one is from june of last year, so this is over a year's worth of trying to draw the same face.
i think it's kind of funny because i'm still not very good at capturing likenesses, but i'm definitely running into a little bit of same face with my art where i keep drawing hyeop's nose + lips on other's faces. oops. i need to be more careful about that, and learn to draw a better variety of features, humans are so different don't accidentally shoehorn yourself!
but i digress, since it's the same face i think it's easier to actually see the changes in my art? i think my lines are a lot more consistently neater, which is something i've always struggled with. i know i just said i'm not good at capturing likenesses, but there's a difference between the first row and the last so i'm definitely getting somewhere with this.
i've never been good at making myself do studies, like it's hard to draw stuff just because "it's good for you", if that makes sense? so this has been my way of forcing myself to look at an image and learn how to actually draw the things i'm bad at. these are cropped down to faces, so you can't tell, but the way i draw hands has drastically improved since i got into drippin. i still get lazy about it sometimes, but for the most part these actually look like hands?
like these would have been good hands for me, from 2022 but b4 i got into drippin?
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the hands here aren't like, very detailed or anything but drawing this many hands would have been honestly unimaginable for me last year?
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other things i've been trying to force myself to get better at are drawing faces at certain angles? figuring out how to actually use the liquify tool when painting helped a whole lot, because it's so much easier to liquify and then fix it, instead of trying to paint over several times and still getting it wrong? white cloth, black cloth, shoes, trying to figure out textures a little bit better too, i have a loooong way to go with understanding clothing folds but i think i'm finally making progress with that too...
last year, i kept drawing less and less until i had an entire month where i didn't draw at all. it got really hard to draw, and drawing more than a waist-up or even a headshot was a serious challenge, so this has also been a good way to push myself into much more consistently drawing full bodies.
drawing drippin fanart, or more specifically hyeop, is probably like a crutch for me? it's easy to fall back on, this is probably where my comfort zone is right now. but i don't think that needs to be a bad thing, because what's important is that i'm still drawing something, and i'm still learning how to draw things? i'm having fun, and it's easier to keep my drawing motivation up
anyway, hm, i'm not sure how long i'll stay this invested in drippin, but i want to take full advantage of wanting to draw fanart until then LOL ... if i make it to another 100 fanarts, i wonder if i'll have improved more by then HMM!
i feel like i talked so much here, i might not have anything to say at the end of december once it's time for the year in art meme lol........
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runfast-runfar · 2 years
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Daily Things ☕️ 🥬 🍋 📓 🐱
3/12/23
✨ there have been so really really good positive things in life lately, as well as some really really dark and difficult things happening lately too.
✨ we will start with the good! I officially got hired at my job as a full time, permanent employee!!! I was a temp to hire since November, and last week I was officially offered the position! The company I work for is a start up that has been around for 6 years now, and will be going public by 2025 at the latest. The goal is mid 2024 but by 2025! Which is very exciting! I’m one of ~150 employees, the benefits offered are great, a 401k, I get unlimited PTO, and stocks in the company! And my starting salary is pretty generous for my first job out of college. Bay Area is insanely expensive so it’s not the most amazing pay considering that, but it is higher than a loooot of jobs base pay here regardless. (Peep my daily mornings at work that consist of almond milk/matcha/banana/spinach smoothies, and lots of coffee!)
✨ finished my first piece from my art class! My little lemons using watercolor are officially done!! I love it tbh!
✨ it’s been rainy and gloomy for a little while now, so this morning I took myself to a little local coffee shop, and I challenged myself to get a higher cal drink. So I got an oat milk mocha and it was so so tasty (and cute!) While there I did some reading and people watched (sounds a little weird but honestly I love seeing others interacting with each other and you see so many sweet moments). And then after that I went to paper source and got myself a new journal (just finished my last one!) and I got two new Jellycat friends! I got my little journal the giraffe pal, and my drawing donkey pal! I have stuffed animals that I have in my lap/hold while doing various things. It’s a newer thing but honestly it’s been a huge stimulation helper to have them as fidget/comfort items. So the donkey I have when I draw, and the giraffe I have on me while journaling. (I have a finley bear jellycat I have while playing animal crossings, a Yamper plush for playing/watching Pokémon, a weighted Pluto when watching any Disney movies, Corti my cat jellycat when I take medication each day, and then my oldest stuffed animal Spotty I sleep with. Having them for specific tasks honestly has been really really comforting and nice!)
✨ food has been really really hard. Body image has been really really hard. On the days I manage to eat a bit more than normal I can’t keep the exercise down. And on the days I cap the exercise, I can’t eat more than my safe amount. And it’s made life incredibly difficult. A coworker of mine has noticed the food stuff and while it’s a bit helpful to confide to someone about some of it, it also makes it a bit harder to be getting somewhat monitored about it now. But, I have made the decision with the support of that friend, and my therapist, to enter a treatment program. I still have to ensure my insurance will check out, but if it does, there is an outpatient program I can partake in in the evenings 5 days a week that will work with my work schedule. So we will see how that all turns out.
✨ anyway, I came home after my little morning outing, did two 45 minute peloton classes, then did laundry and watched Mean Girls! And now I’m in bed drinking peppermint tea and watching a documentary on Netflix.
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havethetouch · 2 years
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Do you have an OC with a funny/weird/unusual creation story? (not the story of the character itself, but the way the character happened / you suddenly got attached; any character you didnt plan on keeping around, but then kinda did?) Tell the story!
[FINALLY - I tried to answer this ask for days now but always had an error I thought it was just my ask in general but made a test and that worked but this ask would not so i had to edit my full answer in piece by piece and for some reason that worked but not posting the whole thing as is. XD But I am dedicated to answer so here we go.] Oh that one is easy.... tho I must say the one OC kicked off the creation of many more but let me explain...
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So... the character we gonna talk about is Taivo.
Oldschoolers might still remember her from the Animexx days and the one wolf comic I had, which only exists because of her. So it goes like this I'm what... 16 years old, I'm not doing so great because the times were rough and i happened to be in therapy at the time, group therapy to be exact with one dude and one girl who were in similar boats as me as for the reason we were there. There was a fourth too for a while but she wasn't ready and went back to solo sessions. Anyway, our lil group decided we hang out outside of sessions, try to support each other in our daily life and at some point after each session (which was in the evening) we went out together to a pub/bar that was in the area and kinda had some metal/goth/punk/scene aesthetics and clientele going on. There we enjoyed some companionship and mead and absinth and other stuff and tried to function like normal youths that weren't spiraling. (mind back then in my days the drinking age was down at 16, smoking age too) I was known for doodling random stuff to manage myself especially when I got sensory overloads and my companions understood and thankfully did not think hat I was ignoring them - sometimes when I was a bit tipsy they used to ask me about my art and stories bc sober you could not ask me to share such things without shying away thinking it was not interesting and/or would be torn down by negative reactions etc. etc. it was hard, mind you I was not well at the time, far from it actually and would be for a while. and on one such occasions when we were all drunk I was going back to my drawing pad and my male companion pointed out that there is no way i can draw or shit as drunk as I am and I took it as a challenge and drew the first sketch of Taivo, bent over the body of a dead pup. It looked great if I might say so, at least for my level at the time. And thus I had proven that even drunk I can fucking create. But then they were like "so is that one of your OCs or like.. random? New? Whats her deal? Why is there a dead puppy? What is going on?" And that was the point were I grabbed my notebook, held up a finger and said "give me a sec" And then i wrote down half of the plot of my wolf comic Eternal Winter which happens to revolve about Taivo and her whole story bc she is the protagonist and once I got going I made even more notes and started thinking about the cast and secondary characters and I was in a creation frenzy on steroids and I mean I had Absinthe that evening so maybe the green fairy suckerpunched me in the creative zone who the fuck knows? Either way the comic is on hiatus these days because given how old the story is it naturally evolved and changed and imma wait until I have everything back in order and maybe continue or write it out because the comic is really old and doing comics is hard and i like it but there are so many stories I wanna tell and things I wanna draw and short comics I wanna do that might be just some scenes I illustrate but that also takes time and idk if I can commit myself to Eternal Winter right now or the near future because.. even if I made a comic page each week which is absolutely doable it will still result in "only" 52 pages a year and given how the story grew and evolved and how much time I already "lost" in all the year is laid dormant I kinda feel like idk I don't want to right now? XD Going back to it and sticking to it would be some years of commitment and nah... my hyperfixations take me through my stories and it's hard to stay instead of stray ya know?
But yeah this is how Taivo got made! In some bar, upon a dare that wasn't even a dare but I took it that way and it took me to that wicked bitch and her origin / anti-hero story that resulted in a Comic and a shitton of wolf characters and kinda also lowkey inspired a Prequel story from characters that existed prior to Taivo that play a bigger role in Eternal Winter and were i was like "oh yeah origin story time lets make that a comic too" So... yeah, while almost each of my characters came about under different circumstances, Taivo came up bc I was hella drunk and nobody believed I was still coherent enough to do most things.
Also was not believed I could walk in a straight line, which I could, and I did, and my companions were loosing their mind bc apparently i was magic and actually despite all the shit it was a pretty good night :)
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junotter · 2 years
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Random assortment of hetalia characters standing around
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gladerscake · 3 years
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Hungry Eyes
(Gally x Reader)
Requested by the incredible @ultraintrovertedgryffindor 💯 This is a little more heated than all the other imagines I’ve written so far. No smut though! So if you’re not into that kind of stuff, don’t worry, it isn’t actually in there. Enjoy!
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For the life of you, you could not focus on your work. As hard you as you tried to keep your attention on what you were supposed to be doing, it was proving to be an immensely difficult task. The surplus of weeds at your feet with their urgent need to be plucked didn’t stand a chance against something much, much more interesting, just across the glade…
You leaned against your shovel as your gaze, for the umpteenth time in the past twenty minutes, traveled all the way to the builders. Well… one builder, in particular. Your builder.
A familiar warmth encompassed your abdomen with an unsurprising quickness as your eyes landed on Gally.
It has been an especially hot day, the blazing sun making more than a few gladers positively miserable as it made trudging through their workload that much more challenging. The builders seemed to be affected most of all. At some point Gally had slipped out of his shirt, and now, all you could do was watch, with bated breath and skipping heartbeat, as he lugged around massive hunks of wood like they weighed nothing to him.
Gally’s strength never ceased to amaze you. It was something you were sure you would marvel at until the end of time. Of course, his job as the Keeper of the builders demanded a certain amount of physical superiority, but holy shuck, was it something to leave your jaw hanging.
You stared, rather indiscreetly, as Gally’s mouth-watering torso glistened in the sunlight, damp beads illuminating his skin and making it appear as though he was sweating diamond dust. His impressive muscles were on full display, tensing and flexing, the prominent indents of his abs pulling your gaze in like magnets. His burly arms were also nearly impossible to look away from. A small grin crawled onto your lips as you recalled the way those same arms encompassed you in the bed of your shared hut, just earlier that morning. Your boyfriend looked absolutely breath-taking, and the exquisite sight you were currently being gifted with left you frozen, longing, and maybe just a little dazed. If you were to suddenly feel dizzy, it definitely wouldn’t be from the sun. The heat was notable, sure, but it was easy to ignore as your body was pervaded with a heat of a different kind.
“Oh, pick it up, would you?”
Newt’s slightly annoyed British lilt momentarily brought you out of your trance as you snapped your head towards him, returning back to earth. Although, you couldn’t deny, a part of you was somewhat discontent with being returned.
“Pick what up?” Your forehead scrunched in confusion as you peered at your friend.
“Your jaw. And your bloody dignity, for that matter.” Newt scoffed, a thoroughly amused grin dancing on his lips as he had clearly caught you gawking at Gally.
Just a few weeks ago, you would’ve been so embarrassed by that, you’d turn redder than the tomatoes growing in the garden, but ever since you and Gally got together, you have been feeling increasingly less bothered by these things. Why should you feel embarrassed for looking at what was rightfully yours?
You merely gave a small shrug at Newt’s teasing comment, an unapologetic grin tugging at the corner of your mouth “It’s my boyfriend. And I’ll stare if I want to.”
Newt released a hoot of laughter, seemingly not having expected you so casually brushing it off “Oh, alright! And what happens if he catches you?”
Your grin only widened, your stomach bubbling with an involuntary spark of excitement at the thought “I’m sure he’ll be nothing short of thrilled.”
Your twinkling gaze darted towards Gally once again… Only this time, your eyes met.
Your heart jumped up to your throat, your breath halting in your airways as your boyfriend stood tall, hands propped up on his hips while he looked right back at you from his working area, his piercing bluish-green eyes narrowed with palpable interest.
Clearly he had noticed you blatantly checking him out as a borderline cocky smirk etched his lips. Now, that has always been effective in bringing a blush to your cheeks. You bit your bottom lip as you accepted the wordless challenge and didn’t look away, instead responding with a playful grin of your own.
Gally chuckled, purposely flexing his abdomen and sending you a tantalizing wink, causing your cheeks to burn hotter. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was enjoying every second. He loved getting you all flustered, and you, with your pounding heart and pink-tinged skin, made it so easy for him.
Your gaze trailed over his chiseled bare chest, the heat swarming your body beginning to feel more like an ache. The urge to stride right over to Gally, throw your arms around him, pull him close and kiss him senseless, was beginning to cloud your mind… However, it was at that moment that Newt deliberately cleared his throat, forcing you to tear your eyes away from your boyfriend.
Okay, okay, enough of that, for now. You needed to get at least some work done. As yummy as your keeper looked at the moment, you didn’t want your friend getting mad at you for being too distracted.
“Sorry, Newt. I’m back. Promise!” You chuckled, internally commanding your flushed state to simmer down, the blush on your cheeks gradually dispersing, along with the foggy feeling over your head.
“You better be.” Newt shook his head “As fascinating as it is to watch Gally get you riled up from across the glade, I’m not doing all the work by myself.” He stated with an underlying scold, making you feel just a tiny bit of remorse.
“Well, I can’t always help it…” You muttered under your breath, returning your focus to the weeds you needed to pull. The thought of seeing Gally at lunch, in about an hour, graced your lips with a smile. Knowing him, he would have plenty to say to you, after what had just transpired…
-later-
The Lunch bell had rung, calling all the gladers to come grab something to eat, and you were about to make your way over to Frypan’s shack. You were finally done with this one row of carrots, falling slightly behind Newt, who had already left a few minutes prior.
You pulled yourself up from your crouching position, stretching your back and brushing the dirt off of your hands, when you suddenly squeaked, a pair of muscular arms, strong like tree trunks, wrapped themselves around your waist.
“Hey!!” Your surprised cry melted into melodic laughter as you turned your head to your captor.
Gally was grinning from ear-to-ear as he pulled you close from behind, your back pressing fully against his still bare torso, making you feel the heat radiating off of his skin.
“Hey yourself!” He chuckled, promptly dipping his head into your sensitive neck and peppering it with multiple kisses. It tickled a bit, but the feeling absolutely delighted you, as you slightly tilted your head back against his shoulder. You could feel his lips grinning against your delicate skin as he pressed a final peck to your pulse point and drew back, catching your gaze with his “Did you enjoy the show earlier?”
Of course he would lead with that. You hadn’t had a single doubt. Nonetheless, you pursed your lips, feigning confusion and batting your eyes at him. A picture of innocent cluelessness.
“Hmm? What show, my keeper? I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
Gally playfully rolled his eyes, giving your waist a mischievous squeeze “You sure about that? Because I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
You hummed, furrowing yours brows as you imitated deep thought before shaking your head “Nope. I’m totally stumped. Not a clue.”
Gally huffed, his openly flirtatious grin unfaltering “Really? So you weren’t staring at me while I was working my ass off under the scorching sun?”
You swallowed a giggle, your clueless expression paving to a little smirk, a fiery glint flickering in your eyes. Fine, you could admit to it. But that didn’t mean you would succumb to his teasing. He’d seen enough of your blushing cheeks for one day.
You feigned a dramatic gasp, pretending to be shocked and mortified “Oh no! You saw that? I thought I had been so subtle…”
Gally squeezed you tighter, holding you so close that you could feel his heart thumping against your back “Didn’t really look like you were trying to be.”
You grinned at him, his captivating eyes nearly making you forget that anything else existed around you “On second thought, maybe I wasn’t.”
Gally hummed in satisfaction. Good answer. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe your were his, and the fact that you were made him feel like the luckiest shank in the glade. His heart leapt every time you melted into him, every time you responded to his teasing with matching energy, every time you showcased that you were just as happy to be his as he was to be yours. Each loving and yearning gaze you sent his way, each brush of your fingers over his skin, each hypnotising kiss you two shared… all of it was electrifying to him, addictive, like sugar.
He cupped your chin in between his two fingers, gently pulling your face closer to his and capturing your lips in a searing kiss.
You softly moaned against his mouth as you readily kissed him back, just like you had been waiting to do all morning. Your arm reached up and wound itself behind his neck, drawing him in more and being rewarded with an approving grunt from his throat. Gally’s kisses never failed to leave you breathless, he was fantastic at it. You didn’t care that you didn’t have anyone to compare to. You didn’t need to try anyone else to know that he tasted the best.
You whimpered as Gally’s teeth temptingly grazed your bottom lip before he pulled back, licking his lips as he gazed down at you with a near-predatory glow in his eyes. You felt a shiver crawl up your spine at the sight of his dilated pupils and slightly reddened parted lips. He looked so mesmerising…
Despite your body screaming at you not to, you attempted to wriggle out of his tight grasp, the sound of other gladers chattering in the distance reminding you that it was lunch time.
“Don’t get me wrong, I could do this all day, but we really should be heading over to Frypan’s. Aren’t you hungry?” You smiled, tracing your fingers down his jaw, the loving touch doing the opposite of making him want to pull away from you.
With an irresistible smirk, Gally finally whipped you around in his arms, so that you were facing him, his large hands latching onto your hips as he whispered against your lips “Oh, I’m hungry alright… Just not for lunch.”
You yelped as your feet suddenly left the ground, Gally’s strong arms engulfing you and leaving you no choice but to wrap your arms and legs around his glorious half-exposed body and hold on tight.
“Gally!” You halfheartedly tried to object, biting back your excited grin “What are you doing?”
The builder snickered, deeply, already turning in the direction of the Deadheads as he held you impossibly close, a devious spark flashing in his eyes.
“Staring like that can get you in trouble, baby. Guess you’re about to find out…”
Tags: @seldomabsent @obsessivelycapricious @ultraintrovertedgryffindor @maraudersimp @lattsgocaps @magnoliabloomfield @sherbertscarrothead-2 @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom @abundantxadorations @izzymultifan @willseyebrows @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @anniemylennox @crazysheeplyca @isaacswhore
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inertflouride · 2 years
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Cz your Jake is a badass boy , I was wondering how your gentle Jake would be?🤭 Of ya got time of course . I hope a one shot won't be too bothersome 😌❤️
Also, congratulations(?) for hanging there till the end of your exams 🤭🤣
Thanks a lot Oshi😭❤️ (though I didn't do so well)
Anyways, back to work:
I never imagined Jake as sensitive person. Sure he can be senstive but ugh, you get it right? So this was kinda challenging for me... but here's my attempt, hope you enjoy! <3
Glimpse of Us
WARNING: Heavy fluff, vomiting daisies and lillies and whatever flower you like.
"It's beautiful Jake", I tell the blue eyed hacker who stands behind me, hugging my stomach, with his head leaning on my shoulder.
"It is. Indeed", he softly speaks and teases my neck with his nose. "Come on now, love", he motions at the picnic cloth spread on the hilltop with a basket on one side. The fresh breeze of sandalwood trees soothes my mind and makes me feel at peace.
Jake has been nose deep in his new job. Life after being a free man, you know. So, he felt he was, sort of, neglecting me (his words, not mine) because, like, he would be gone early in the morning and wouldn't be back before it was late. Then one thing led to another and here we are, on this breathtaking spectacle.
I take a seat on the cloth and straighten myself up, taking this opportunity to completely relax and destress myself. Working in Corporate is no joke, trust me.
"So, what would you like to have?", Jake asks me as he seats himself beside me, intertwining our pinkies. "Oh no, don't answer. I know just what you'd like."
Seeing him gush over me certainly helps a huge smile from the warmth this person radiates within me ever since I met him. Honestly, I was surprised beyond words when we reached here, making me so at awe to the beautiful view before me. I have always been a hillside lover, so this was nothing but absolute heaven to me.
To my dismay, I hear some clouds rumbling over our heads, although not excessively concerning us for we aren't here for long. Jake hands me, yes he guessed it correctly, a can of lemon soda and gets cold coffee for himself. I lean my head against his shoulder, sipping on my drink. I flinch again when the clouds rumble, worry painting my face now, when Jake takes the soda from my hand and moves my body so that I'm leaning my head on his lap. His hands move stray in my hair, gently massaging them.
"You know, I've dreamt about this a lot", he starts, drawing small circles in my scalp, "of you and me, us, together, spending time like this. It's what gave me strength to keep going until I made my life bearable for you to be in it."
I pause a bit before I sit back up, my hand cupping his left cheek. "Jake. It doesn't matter to me whatever you do. I love you and I'll follow you even in the deepest waters of hell if it means being with you. So, you don't have to pressurise yourself towards anything, especially this job. If you feel it's calling to you, that you're passionate about it, I'll be more than happy to see you being engrossed in it, but if it doesn't, you're smart enough to know what to do."
He quietens for a bit, humming in reply. "My little, little detective", he pinches the tip of my nose and presses a kiss on my forehead. I look up at his face when a raindrop pats down on the bridge of my nose. "Uh shoot, come on, let's go", he offers me his hand to pick me up and we move to gather our stuff, making a rush towards the bus stop shed which isn't too far from where we are.
Jake takes my hand in his as we take a leap towards our destination, our clothes already half wet from the annihilating rain which is in full swing by now. Thankfully, we reach the bus stop and huff down from the briskness, catching our breaths. "That was quite... fun", I mew to Jake and we break into a laugh together. "How long for the next bus?"
"Hmm, lemme check", Jake says as he glances in his phone and starts tapping a few buttons. As he gets busy with this, I try to wipe my arms with the picnic cloth which got saved from the heavy downpour. "Crap", he mutters, making me look at him in worry, "I forgot that the bus workers are on a strike today", he facepalms himself and amusedly looks at me.
"What was that look for?", I furrow my brows at his, returning an amused look on my own face. Jake gets closer to me and takes my hand, motioning his head towards the rain. "Oh my god-", I shriek as he pulls us out in the rain, completely drenching us in a few minutes.
"Oh, come on now", he playfully states and bows in front of me, his hand sticking out as if asking me for a dance. I facepalm myself and then nod, giving my hand in his. He straightens up and puts my hand on his shoulder, one of his arms going around my waist while both of our free hands melt in each other, resembling a waltz. I can't help but giggle at the silliness of all this, of us, in rain, doing a little waltz. "What are we, Jake? Five year olds?"
"Yes, we are. Now, hush", he quietens me by putting his finger on my lips and smiles. We move around in each other's embrace, our feet moving on their own, while he exchanges little pecks on my cheeks.
Suddenly, he pulls me towards him, both of his arms around my waist and my hands gripping his shoulders. He looks at me dreamily and sighs, deeply. "I must have done some very good deeds that I managed to find someone so smart, funny, beautiful, caring and loving like you. Each day, I thank whatever gods that exist in this mortality for intertwining our destinies together, sealing our together in this fateful connection. Thank you MC, for loving me, for being there for me, for everything good that's now happening in my life", he declares his love for me and gently kisses my lips. "Though you are a handful at times, I'm more than happy to carry your little load."
I let out a laugh and press our foreheads together, tears from my eyes mixing with the water raining down on me, though this man still notices them and cups my face, tilting his head slightly and looking at me. I flush from the way he looks at me and hide my face in his chest. "Come on now, do you want to catch a cold or something?"
"Oh baby, we're definitely going to catch a cold. It's pneumonia that we can save ourselves from", he laughs and goes to get the picnic basket from the seat before he takes my hand and we briskly walk our way to home.
PS: I was listening to Love Story by Indila while writing the rain dance scene (I'll link it below)
Man, I haven't ever written a fluff, I'm so dying, sksksksksks
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ayamturd · 3 years
Text
kid│technoblade
summary: (requested) an errand run forces techno out of the house; he meets an interesting kid in return
warnings: brief injury description, hinted abandonment, light angst and fluff
pairing: in-game platonic!technoblade
a/n: i took this request and ran so far with it lol. pls enjoy, i loved the reader’s dynamic with techno sm
wc: (4.0k) - m.list
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It was hot, the day smothering in the summer heat as the village offered little coverage to the harsh sun. From exploring the lands of the Arctic to walking in the crowded space on the sweltering landscape, Technoblade let out a sigh from how his layered clothing stuck to him; his regal attire was more than slightly uncomfortable and was arguably only for looks then and there. 
Glancing down to the list in his hands once more, he grumbled from the tasks, supplies and ingredients he still needed, openly irritated from being forced on the supply run. Real funny Phil. Hilarious.
He scratched his head, lost to the busy market place as many shoved past him in the busy rush. Technoblade was a warrior, the Blood God, he was someone to be feared and feel threatened by, yet at that very moment he couldn’t be anything less than a lost tourist. 
Technoblade rarely ventured to extremely public places, but he knew he couldn’t return empty handed, the underwhelming mockery he would receive would be just plain annoying. 
With a final sigh of defeat, he decided it best to take each task step by step, that starting with the blacksmith. Now, make no question that Technoblade and Phil weren’t not capable of crafting their own weapon, but at times, the cost of another’s opinion did more help than that of personalized wants. 
It was even hotter once he entered the open store, the burning furnace emitting an almost intolerable intensity that rivaled the burning cold of the Arctic. Rolling his neck, he approached the front desk and unsheathed both Phil’s and his long swords, tossing a small pouch with a chink as payment for restorations and commendations.
Speaking few words in the villager’s tongue, the worker immediately began his assessment when taking the weapons in hand. Techno knew little in the different language, but he understood when the man explained the necessary works and time expectancy. 
He sighed for what felt to be his 15th time that afternoon, but complied when leaning against the counter for the next few minutes; he refused to leave his best weaponry in the hands of a stranger, and would do with the wait until then. 
Picking on the crusted mud that hardened on his fur coat, he jumped when someone slammed into the wood he leaned against, eyes dropping to meet the height of a young adolescent.
Unlike himself, they seemed dressed for the sweltering heat. Their cloak hung loosely from their shoulders, but was bare and thin, either from time or was purposeful from the climate, it was his guess. While they seemed as energetic as someone their age should be, he could tell from experience of the way they stood tall with their chin held high that they were a fighter, someone who seemed cautious of their surroundings by the constant shift in their eyes. 
He also knew they noticed him but was purposefully choosing to ignore him for whatever reason, he couldn’t tell. Coughing, he went back to his useless fiddling. 
They tapped anxiously, their fingers twitching while they looked longingly to the nearest axes, an overwhelming sense of excitement filling the stuffy air. While he tried to ignore them considering how little they could stand still irritated him, he couldn’t deny that they intrigued him. 
“Helloooooooo?” they called out, jumping above the counter and holding themself up with their arms stiff in strength. Techno waited a brief moment while they began yelling louder before rolling his eyes to interrupt them.
“They’re busy right now. Give it a minute, will you?”
His monotoned voice caused them to freeze, and as they slowly turned to meet the sight of him, a huge grin grew on their face. It made his frown grow in return. 
“A minute can be so long in silence, I’m only making it go faster.” Techno scoffed at their words and fully turned his body towards them. His genetics made him tower over them even when slouched, yet while he knew others would cower, the child in front of tilted their head in amusement. 
“By what logic does that make any sense?”
The mischievous teenager followed Technoblade’s posture, mimicking his stance with crossed arms. They jutted their chin out proudly, though it was obvious they were only messing with him further.
“My logic, obviously.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s yours, doesn’t make it right.”
With an annoying quirk of a smile, the small human smirked with feigned innocent eyes.
“Says who?”
Knowing full well that it would a battle in vain, Techno conceded and faced the front desk again, his arms resting against the table as he hung his head down with a huff of air. 
His considered defeat made the young stranger laugh lightly, and they copied his position, but instead held their head in their palms with a small hum. Staring at him intensely, their head rocked in thought for some time before they spoke up. 
“You look miserable.”
It took Techno a large amount of willpower to prevent himself from glaring in their direction, something the child took as a challenge. They filled the silence when Techno left it unattended, leaning closer to him while still in place. 
“I mean, the outfit is sick, I won’t lie. But you just look awful right now. How many layers do you have on anyway?”
Once more, he had to clench his fist tightly to drown out their bothersome questions. The child, as he now deemed it considering how persistent it could be, noted his subtle tensing and bit their lip to smother another coming giggle. 
“Is your crown real? Are you actually royalty? Am I expected to bow in honor or respect? I’m terrible with conversation-“
“So I’ve noticed.” Techno dryly stated, his hand coming to rub the back of his head, exasperated, with a shake. They completely disregard his side comment like he never spoke. 
“-but I never though I’d live to see the day I interact with royalty.”
“I’m not royal, I’m anythin’ but.” Techno’s voice dropped when considering the matter, his narrowed eyes in concentration against his constant fight for Anarchy and destruction. 
His seriousness created a beat of silence in the shop, though without fail, the teenager overlooked his internal monologue.
“Do you have a long, fancy name with numbers and stuff? Like ‘King George the First' or ‘Their majesty, Alas-’”
“No."
“But what about-”
Techno’s groan cut their next range of questions off, and he pushed himself up to stare them down tiredly. 
“You’re a pretty annoyin’ kid, you know that?”
Sitting up when he did, the teen jumped onto the counter backwards, swinging their legs on the edge while gripping the border tightly. They rested their chin on their shoulder with an eased smile as they now matched his height. 
“So I’ve been told.”
The approaching footsteps from the back entry caused the both of them to turn their heads, the young stranger facing to him while Techno’s gaze still remained. 
“But you can’t deny it, I made time go faster.”
Hopping off before they could be scolded, the blacksmith returned with the weapons’ adjustments and the requested engravings Phil asked for, drawing Techno’s attention away from the young stranger. He opened the cloth the worker brought the swords out in, and lifted his own while gripping the grained handle tightly.
Stepping away from the counter, he swung the blade in front of him, tossing it briefly as to adjust to its weight and consider its balance. The wind it generated in the slices of air brought a dark smile to his face. Satisfied with the result, Techno inspected the finer details up close a final time before sheathing it to his side. 
As he went to grab Phil’s, he caught the teen’s awed gape. He chuckled from their open amazement and moved to walk towards the displayed axes behind them. 
“What’s your name, kid?” With his back to them, he reached his hand outward to the various blade sizes, hovering over the edges with careful pressure. 
His question visibly threw them off, and they stuttered before gathering themself. 
“What’s yours?” they asked, eyebrows raised in defense. Techno felt the corner of his mouth lift from their faltering. 
“Technoblade.” He was patient as they swallowed before responding. 
“Y/n.”
Unclasping a light, yet deadly thin battle-blade axe from the wall, Techno eventually turned around to meet them again.  
“No last name?” 
While they smiled, it didn’t reach their eyes as they glanced away with a careless shrug. No origin or proper upbringing, he assumed.
“Never came up with one. Never needed one.”
“Hmm.”
Lifting the axe in hand, Techno gestured to the empty baldric that wrapped tightly around their chest. By their longing stares and stance as a fighter, it didn’t take much to make the connection that they were someone who fought with an axe. 
“What happened to the last one?”
Surprised by his close observation, they brought their hands to the bare hold as if they were searching for it. Unlike the past few minutes in his company, they suddenly became shy and spoke with a guilty smile. 
“O-oh. I, uh, chipped the blade. Wore it down. It’s been a while since I was able to treat myself, I thought it was finally worth the wait to get a new one.”
Shifting on their feet, they grasped one of their arms awkwardly. Despite their previously loud, outward energy, Techno sighed once he saw them as the kid they were; they were someone alone that was forced to survive in the big world, someone he could relate and understand. 
After a moment passed, Techno faced the worker. They had been watching their interaction the entire time and seemed as uncomfortable as they were bored. Without asking for a price, he wordlessly pulled out a handful of emeralds from his drop leg pouch and slammed them on the table surface. 
The blacksmith made sounds of gurgled delight, gathering the gems into his opens hands with furious nods in thanks. Techno only rolled his eyes and shoved the purchased axe forwards, leaving it open in his outreached hands to the child. 
“Save your money. It’s not worth any price they try to sell.”
Switching their sights from the weapon and Technoblade in disbelief, they breathlessly giggled when carefully lifting it from his hold. 
Twirling it easily before striking near the ground, the pulled the new beauty to their chest gratefully. They were at a loss for words, to say the least, and Techno laughed from their frozen shock.
His laughter died down and he decided to take his leave in quick steps. While the teen tried to shout to him in thanks, they were still dazed and couldn’t form words to yell. 
Techno paused at the entrance and dipped his head back, his hand bordering the door frame. He grinned slightly to the point where his sharper canines were visible, and called out to them in departure.
“See you around, kid.”
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Bow raised, arrow drawn, Techno crept low on the forest ground with cautious and calculated steps. 
The overgrown leaves above provided a gentle shading that shielded the majority of the sunlight, only few splotches breaking through. It had been too long since Techno went hunting, the sport lost to him since his recent adventures and scenery in the very south. 
As he had been traveling for days on end to meet with his brothers’ call, he thought to gather food and see through with his lost skill; he had devoted a majority of his time in peaceful solitude to farming and raising cattle, he wasn’t as skillful as he used to be. 
Keeping that in mind, as his eyes narrowed from the close rustling of a bush before him and he approached meaningfully, he failed to noticed the grown roots that broke through the dirt. 
With a small yelp, his foot became stuck and he fell hard onto his face.
A small rabbit hopped out of the shrubbery and stopped briefly near him as if in mockery to his embarrassing failure before bouncing away. 
Technoblade groaned, both from pain and the circumstances, and gave up any hope for moving in shame when the voices began to mock him. 
“Well that wasn’t very royal of you.”
While his memory failed him more often than not, he recognized the voice specifically over the chaos that reigned in his ears. Contemplating the next-least humiliating course of actions, he settled on pretending nothing happened. 
“Like I said the last time,” he sighed while pushing himself up, “I’m not royalty.”
Brushing off the dirt that stained his clothes and skin, Techno turned to the child’s voice and jerked startled when their entertained countenance was closer than what he expected. They were hanging upside down with their legs hooked on a low, but sturdy branch. 
Face smug, they crossed their arms and openly snickered. 
“Agreed, you are far less graceful than what I expect them to be.”
Techno shook his head and searched for his bow, the old relic more traditional and practical in comparison to his crossbow for hunting. He hummed when spotting it and tried to shift the conversation. 
“What are you doin’ out here, kid?”
Pulling themself up in a sitting position, they swung their feet wildly and looked around the woodlands with a shrug. 
“I live here.”
Freezing mid crouch with his bow in hand, Techno’s words were slow following after. 
“Out here?”
“Mhmm.”
There was a pause as Techno looked at them confused. His brows furrowed fro their vague input. 
“In the trees?”
“Sometimes,” they sang. Leaping forward, they landed smoothly onto their feet and raised their eyes to the sky. “It depends on my mood, and whether or not I want to see the stars.”
“Ah.”
With that, Techno turned and started to walk away. His hunting attempt was a mistake that cost him a bullying teenager that apparently lived in the woods and was homeless, the voices adding onto his internal torment; he wanted to leave as fast as he could.
Racing their steps ahead of him, y/n began to walk backwards to address him directly. 
“Why are you here? I assume you don’t live near here since you dress like an old, aristocratic woman with modesty insecurities.”
Techno looked ahead without faltering considering their playful jab, and they tried for an answer again. 
“Plus you haven’t been around for weeks.”
Steps slowing, Techno was genuinely surprised to hear their observation and glanced at them with an inclined head tilt. 
“You looked for me?”
Caught in their own web, y/n timorously avoided his stare. 
“The town’s always busy with newcomers, travelers, royalty,” they emphasized with a pointed look at him, “trust me when I say you stick out like a sore thumb. Your turn.”
Nodding from their reasonable, but untrue explanation, it was Techno’s turn to glance away while formulating a response. 
“I’ve been… uh, explorin’, you could say.”
In a paralleling manner, they copied his previous nod despite their skepticism. 
“I see. And now?”
“Now I’m visitin’ an old friend, old relations.”
“Ahhh. Girlfriend?”
Technoblade stopped walking altogether and incredulity gawked at them. 
“What?”
“Boyfriend?” y/n continued, now turning with their back facing him. Techno rushed to meet there stride and spoke down to them.
“No, stop it.”
Hand to their chin, they pretended to reach another revelation with wide eyes. 
“Ohh I get it now, distant family.”
“You can be quiet now,” Techno grumbled. Smacking his forehead, he rubbed it exasperated while their joy became evident in their cheerful tone.  
“Are they misunderstanding?” the teen asked, their cheeks flushed excitedly from his apparent discomfort. “Is it the person-friend they don’t approve of?”
“I’m leaving now.” Techno hurried his pace as to leave the forest ground.
“They rude? Unbearable? Selfish? Annoying?”
“You know what,” he stated, spinning to them to clarify since they had stopped walking entirely behind him, “yes.”
“Ooo which one?”
“Annoyin’, and you remind me so much of them.”
The trees were now clear as the plains had become more visible during their trek. Strapping the long, recurve barbow over his head and around his chest, Techno thought the exchange done and allowed the sun to bask over him. 
Before he could make his way to his camp, their voice yelled out to him. 
“Aww that’s sweet!”
Perplexed to how anything of what he said could be seen as ‘sweet’, his curiosity got the better of him and he turned again. 
“You consider me like family? I’m touched!”
Eyes narrowed, Techno bowed his head it defeat once again. He could never win with them, could he?
“‘kay, I’m done with this. Goodbye.”
Y/n waved avidly with a wide grin in spite of him not looking. 
“See you around, Sir Blade!”
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“You should consider yourself lucky.”
The stillness was deafening. Regardless of the wind that howled outside and forced the shudders to rattle upon constant impact, or the fire the lit the room bright in heat and warm tone color, the quiet was tense when y/n awoke in Techno’s house. 
“I saw the smoke burn miles out. Had the wind changed its course, I would have never noticed.”
As his back was turned to them, Techno pulled the cork from his most recent regeneration brew and poured it briskly into a small mug, its small rippling sound overtaking the room. With a plate of bread he prepared beforehand, he finally addressed them with the sustenance in hand. 
Y/n was completely engulfed in the large bedding they rested in, Techno’s bedding. Their arms were wrapped tightly with gauze that covered their forearms all the way to their chest. Eyes sunken and dark, they squinted heavily from recently awakening with ashen hair that matted to their face. 
“Is everyone alright?” they asked, voice faint yet rough from the intense smoke inhalation and damage they sustained in the event. Coughing from speaking for the first time, Techno was quick to hand them the potion. 
They downed the drink voraciously, and he decided to speak while they ate. 
“Everyone that managed to escape, probably. But those that did fled long before I arrived.”
Glancing at down at them, Techno could only sigh at the sight. They were so small under his gaze, and he shifted his attention to the nearest wall with crossed arms. 
“It’s one thing to help others, it’s another when takin’ on a raid by yourself.”
His pointed comment caused them to snap and try to defend themself, however, they moved to suddenly and winced from the slight movement. Despite his frown, Techno’s hands were raised gently with concerned eyes from their evident pain. 
Breathing in and out harshly, they were still hunched over when they glared up at him in anguish. 
“You didn’t hear them scream, you didn’t hear them yell for mercy. You weren’t there, but I was. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.” Their voice cracked near the end, and with vast tears that escaped, a broken sob filled the space as they hid their face ashamed. 
Techno was at a loss when comforting others, but he wasn’t a jerk to ignore someone after surviving a tragic incident, one they tried to fight yet lost to. 
Slowly, he moved to sit on the bed side. He clenched his fist shut in hesitance, but steadily, he hovered his hand over them before stroking their back reassuringly. 
“Listen, kid,” pausing, Techno caught himself and cleared his throat, “Y/n, I know you barely know anything about me but trust me. I understand how it feels, how it must’ve felt then to be overwhelmed by sudden cries that surround you to the point that you make rash decisions. Trust me when I say I get it.”
Their cries died down from his words, and he spoke earnestly as they listened more closely in smothered hiccups. 
“I respect what you tried to do in the end, but you have to be self aware that you’re still just a kid.”
His blunt statement made them freeze, and when the fully processed what he said, they dropped their hands to scowl at him incredulously. Their red eyes are hard and made him laugh from his lack of explanation to his true meaning. 
“Hey, I never said it was the age that was at fault.”
Pulling his arms away, he grasped his hands together and rested his elbows to his knees, though his focus was still on them. 
“You’re young, and young means inexperienced. Give yourself some leeway and accept your limits that come with time.”
They looked down from his attentive eyes, but still nodded when understanding his perspective. 
Rubbing the bottom of his chin with the back of his hand, Techno attempted to further the conversation amiably. He was out of his depth socially, but he was trying for their sake. 
“Besides all that, I have to say you can definitely fight.” Their eyes shot up to meet his, the acclaim unexpected. Their face was too emotionally soft for Techno to look at, so he turned away before speaking with a joking smirk. 
“Though I’m not too sure about your close combat.”
Gawking at the audacity, y/n lightly smacked his arm and scoffed. A smile crept on their face as they shook their head from the backhanded compliment. 
“You try training with a tree, they don’t always fight back.”
His snicker grew from their weak justification, and eventually, they joined his laughing fit. Helpless giggles replaced the once solemn air. While it soon died down, the elation of each other’s company still remained. 
Techno rose from the soft mattress and crossed his arms loosely in thought. With a single nod, his monotoned voice encouraged them considerately.
“Get some rest, we can talk later.”
Like his past departures, his steps were fast and large as he moved to exit. His hand pulled the door with him, but a shy call of his name stopped him from closing it fully shut.
“Technoblade.”
His head peaked from behind the wooden door and was met with soft eyes that expressed more gratitude than words could convey. 
“Thank you.”
“No thanks needed, kid.”
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Bonus:
Shutting the door gently, Techno walked into the kitchen space with a sigh. He rubbed his eyes from the hours he spent watching them unconscious after tending to them, and heeded the voices’ command for food (real food for once, not blood).
He leisurely approached the pantry, and without turning to address him, spoke lowly.
“Not a single, word.”
Phil lowered the book in his hand and raised a hand defensively with a shrug. He was sat in the living room, obscured in the large armchair from the kitchen; Techno was aware of his presence, however, and knew of his routine.
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Phil called out, though Techno was quick to respond. 
“Phil, you are the least stealthy person on this planet.”
“No, no, I’m serious. I have nothing to say.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Techno murmured a sure and moved to the front door, an apple in one hand and bag full of produce tucked in his other arm. He stated that he was going check on the animals and slammed the door close harshly.
Moments passed as Phil sat in silence, save for the crackling fire that roared beside him, before speaking as if he could still hear him. 
“To think, I sent you to the store and you brought back a kid.”
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ezdotjpg · 3 years
Note
If I may, what is bonus links in the first place? 👀
bonus links just started out as a fun design challenge to myself creating post-canon versions of a few links that weren't in LU. and then I decided to design a few more. and then I got very attached and people seemed interested in hearing more about them so now it's grown into a full-fledged All The Links Meet deal ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I consider it a separate thing from LU rather than an au of it because I am going so completely off the rails. Credit where credit is due for the inspo though, I still have a lot of love and respect for LU. I just am also a control freak and wanna do my own thing too lol.
'bonus links' as a name was a silly placeholder that just kind of stuck bc I couldn't think of anything better lmaoo. I have an idea for a webcomic using the bonus links and all their lore, tentatively titled "Vicious Cycle". I've hinted about it some but I haven't talked about it a lot because, frankly, I'm not sure I'll be able to pull it off. it'd be a huge undertaking and I have very little time after work to make stuff, unfortunately. I think it might actually wreck my entire body lol, I already draw 8 hrs a day as my job. I'm still working on it in the background, and trying to figure out what formats it could take to make it more feasible, but for now I'm just having fun with what I can manage in a shorter timeframe. I'm not too worried abt spoiling dynamics and stuff
The short working summary of that webcomic, if anyone is interested, is: A few years after the events of Skyward Sword, Loft is plagued with increasingly unsettling dreams hinting at the past, present, and future. He grows concerned about the ramifications of Demise's curse, but Zelda, and by extension Hylia, seems insistent that he consider his job done and live the rest of his life peacefully. Unsatisfied with her answers, he goes looking for his own.
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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years
Note
kind of an odd request — do you have fics where erik is grumpy with everyone else but a ray of sunshine with charles?
Hi anon, thank you for the ask. First and foremost, I'm so sorry for how long this took me but I've been searching for all the fics that come to mind that fit your request. Second, this is not an odd request because I love this trope so much. I mean, it's basically canon that he's grumpy with everyone except for his Charles, right? Anyway, I might add to this list later on, but I can't sit on this any longer and hope that you have found some fics that you enjoy!!
Fic Recs Where Erik is grumpy with everyone but a ray of sunshine with Charles
Twice as Blind – Darksknight
Summary: Erik is probably the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and because of this, he'll probably die alone. Charles is a complete flirt and playboy and, probably, will never commit to anyone ever.
(The lesson here is that when you have two friends who are BOTH secretly seeing someone, well, it's probable that they're seeing each other.)
In the moonlight, on a joy ride – scarlettblush
Summary: Librarian AU. Charles is the young librarian and Erik is the college student who is completely besotted with him.
The Proper Care of Actors – Clear_Liqueur, Clocks, Etherei, afrocurl
Summary: Erik is an A-list action star who is notoriously difficult to work with, until the day he gets cast alongside Charles Xavier, rom-com darling who can charm the pants off movie audiences the world over and apparently even one Erik Lehnsherr. The paparazzi catch them out and about soon enough, and their real-life Hollywood movie romance becomes instant tabloid fodder.
Rumor Mill – ikeracity
Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends.
So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.
What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.
Work/Life Balance – pocky_slash
Summary: Alex is pretty sure his weird, anti-social boss is a robot. Right up until the guy's adorable husband shows up. His adorable husband who happens to be a famous actor. His adorable husband who happens to be the very same famous actor who was the source of many of Alex's teenage fantasies.
Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad
Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.
For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.
Of kittens and teacups and love – Ren
Summary: Modern AU in which Charles and Erik are flatmates. Charles studies psychology and likes tea and chess and keeps bringing home stray kittens, and Erik lets him because he's maybe perhaps a little bit sort of in love with him.
Fools Rush In – LoveSupreme
Summary: Erik owns a cafe on the edge of campus and accidentally starts maybe-stalking a Biology Professor there.
Growing Pains – ikeracity
Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.
Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.
Series
Home Together (The Finding Our Way Remix) – significantowl
Summary: Erik is not the sort of person other students strike up conversations with. His expression, his posture, every part of his manner say: Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you. But none of that stops the boy ahead of him in line with the collapsible white cane, and nothing can stop Erik from falling for him, like it or not.
Melted Ice Cream and Macaroni Art – pocky_slash
Summary: Everybody likes Charles. Nobody likes Erik. And that's really the source of Erik's doubts. Also, there's ice cream and a baby. Part of ‘the Daycare’ verse.
Walling in or Walling Out – stlkrchck
Summary: Erik stifles a sigh. Of course this is Mr. C. F. Xavier. Of course.
For the prompt: Charles and Raven are throwing a holiday party. Erik is the grumpy neighbor who is annoyed by how loud they are being. So he goes to complain, and Charles makes it up to him.
(Wise Men Say) Only Fools Rush In – wildelybroken
Summary: After reading a fic where Erik and Charles are super sluts, meet at what is presumably Raven and Emma's engagement party, and end up sleeping together, I made the following comment and just inspired myself.
"They start casually texting each other throughout the day, maybe while they’re bored or frustrated at work, and start out meeting up and sleeping together semi-frequently. And eventually they accidentally start dating without noticing it at first, not until Raven and Emma get them alone and are like “wtf you two super sluts are actually dating??” And at first they deny, but then they’re both like “holy shit, we are!” And they meet back at one of their places and they don’t have to say anything, they just look at each other and come together immediately, kissing passionately and ~making love~. In the middle of it they realise that’s what they’ve been doing for a long time now and they confess their love to each other and they live happily ever after because they deserve all the good in the world."
For Charles – Shigai
Summary: Tired of being told he has to find his 'heart', classical piano graduate Erik Lehnsherr decides to travel to Italy and drink from the famous Italian passion for music. While searching for it, he meets Charles Xavier, a graduate in Fine Arts who is basically travelling around the world perfectioning his technique, and who will turn his world upside down.
Together they will discover that, sometimes, what you thought you didn't need is what you needed the most.
Erik Hates People – Anonymous
Summary: Erik hates people- it's his rule, a way of living.
Sugar – humanitys_cutest
Summary: Erik glances at the clock for what feels like the tenth time in less than half the minutes. It feels like he's been in some meeting or other since the day started almost 10 hours ago, and he's had just about enough of listening to these pompous old men discuss what would be the best design for his building like they know anything about it. He tries as subtly as possible to massage his temples to assuage the building migraine, but he knows it's no use.
He just wants to go home.
Everyone Likes Charles – Rosawyn
Summary: '“Everyone who's met him likes him.” Cain's grin was even stupider than before. “Once you meet him, you'll see.”
It was almost like a challenge then. And damn. Erik hated saying no to a challenge.'
Still Going Strong – JackyJango
Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.
Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.
You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.
But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed – hllfire
Summary: Charles meets Erik, the man he had heard about many times from his sister and some friends, on a rainy Sunday morning. The stories about Erik paint him as a distant and intimidating man, but Charles finds out that maybe the stories had been wrong.
How to Successfully Ruin Your Life – humanveil
Summary: Seventeen-year-old Charles Xavier accepts a job at his local café, expecting nothing more than a fun, new pastime. What he gets is a mysterious customer and a schoolboy crush.
Stolen – ishipitsobad
Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.
So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.
Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – magneto, pangea
Summary:Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.
Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.
The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea
Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.
“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"
“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”
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meruz · 3 years
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once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train
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like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.
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AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??
Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 
(ominous preview)
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These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS
a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?
I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL
A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.
b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~
c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?
@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 
I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.
d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?
god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.
But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.
My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.
e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?
@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.
f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?
Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...
I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.
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If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.
Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.
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Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.
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Some more general art questions
a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?
I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.
1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.
2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.
Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.
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oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!
b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?
Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.
If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 
Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.
I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.
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for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ
For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.
(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)
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a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!
b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL
c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)
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a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....
e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)
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hamliet · 3 years
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The Crows Summon the Sun
Or, Hamliet’s review of Shadow & Bone, which gets a 4.5/5 for enjoyment and a 3.5/5 in terms of writing.
The true heroes of this story and the saviors of the show are the Crows. However, the problem is that the show then has an uneven feel, because the strength of the Crows plotline highlights the weaknesses of the trilogy storyline. But imo, overall, the strengths overshadow (#punintended) the weaknesses. 
I’ll divide the review into the narrative and the technical (show stuff, social commentary), starting with narrative.
Narrative: The Good 
It’s What The Crows Deserve
I went into the show watching it for the Crows; however, knowing that their storyline was intended to be a prequel, I wasn’t terribly optimistic. And while it is a prequel, the characters have complete and full arcs that perfectly set them up for the further development they will have in the books (which I think should be the next season?). Instead of retreading the arcs they’d have in the books, which is how prequels usually go, they had perfect set up for these arcs. It’s really excellent. 
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Jesper, Inej, and Kaz are all allowed to be flawed, to have serious conflicts with one another, and yet to love each other. They feel like a found family in the best of ways. Kaz is the perfect selfish rogue; he’s a much more successfully executed Byronic hero than the Darkling, actually. Inej is heroic and her faith is not mocked, yet she too is flawed and her choices are not always entirely justified, but instead left to the audience to ponder (like killing the girl), which is a more mature writing choice that I appreciated. 
Jesper is charming, has a heart of gold despite being a murderer and on the surface fairly greedy, and MILO THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. I also liked Jesper’s fling with Dima but I felt it could be better used rather than merely establishing his sexuality, like if Jesper and Dima had seen each other one more time or something had come of their tryst for the plot/themes/development of Jesper. 
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Nina and Matthias’s backstory being in the first season, instead of in flashbacks, really works because it automatically erases any discomfort of the implications of Nina having falsely accused Matthias that the books start with. We know Nina, we know Matthias, we know their motivations, backgrounds, and why they feel the way we do. It’ll be easy for the audience to root for them without a lot of unnecessary hate springing from misunderstanding Nina (since she’s my favorite). Matthias’s arc was also really strongly executed and satisfyingly tragic. Their plotline was a bit unfortunately disconnected from the rest of the story, but Danielle Gallagan and Callahan Skogman have absolutely sizzling chemistry so I found myself looking forward to their scenes instead of feeling distracted. Also? It’s nice seeing a woman with Nina’s body type as a romantic and powerful character. 
Hamliet Likes Malina Now
Insofar as the trilogy storyline goes, the best change the show made was Mal. He still is the same character from the books, but much more likable. The pining was... a lot (too much in episode 4, I felt) but Malina is a ship I actually enjoyed in the show while I NOTP’d it in the books. Mal has complexity and layers to his motivations (somewhat) and a likable if awkward charm. Archie Renaux was fantastic. 
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Ben Barnes is the perfect Aleksandr Kirigan, and 15 year old me, who had the biggest of big crushes on Ben Barnes (first celebrity crush over a decade ago lol), was pretty damn happy lol. He’s magnificantly acted--sympathetic and terrifying, sincerely caring and yet villainous in moments. Story-wise, I think it was smart to reveal his name earlier on than in the books, because it helps with the humanization especially in a visual medium like film. Luda was a fitting (if heartbreaking) backstory, but it is also hard for me to stomach knowing what the endgame of his character is. Like... I get the X-men fallacy thing, but I hope the show gives more kindness to his character than the books did, yet I’m afraid to hold my breath. Just saying that if you employ save the cat, if you directly say you added this part (Luda) to make the character more likable (as the director did) please do not punish the audience for feeling what you intended. 
I also liked the change that made Alina half-Shu. It adds well to her arc and fits with her character, actually giving her motivations (she kinda just wants to be ordinary in a lot of ways) a much more interesting foundation than in the books. Also it’s nice not to have another knock-off Daenerys (looking to you Celaena and book!Alina). Jessie Mei Li does a good job playing Alina’s insecurities and emotions, but... 
Narrative: The Ehhhhhhh
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Alina the Lamp
Sigh. Here we go. Alina has little consistent characterization. She’s almost always passive when we see her, yet she apparently punches an officer for calling her a name and this seems to be normal for her, but it doesn’t fit at all with what we know about her thus far. Contradictions are a part of humanity, but it’s never given any focus, so it comes across as inconsistent instead of a flaw or repression. 
I have no idea what Alina wants, beside that she wants to be with Mal, which is fine except I have no idea what the basis of their bond is. Even with like, other childhood friends to lovers like Ren/Nora in RWBY or Eren/Mikasa in SnK, there’s an inciting moment, a reason, that we learn very early on in their story to show us what draws them together. Alina and Mal just don’t have that. There’s the meadow/running away thing, but they were already so close, and why?  Why, exactly? What brought them together? The term “bullies” is thrown around but it isn’t ever explored and it needed to be this season. If I have to deal with intense pining for so many episodes at least give me a foundation for their devotion. You need to put this in the beginning, in the first season. You just do.
A “lamp” character is a common metaphor to describe a bad character: essentially, you could replace the character with a lamp and nothing changes. Considering Alina’s gift is light, it’s a funnily apt metaphor, but it really does apply. Her choices just don’t... matter. She could be a special lamp everyone is fighting over and almost nothing would change. The ironic thing is that everyone treating her like a fancy lamp is exactly the conflict, but it’s never delved into. We’re never shown that Alina is more than a lamp. She never has to struggle because her choices are made for her and information is gifted to her when she needs it. Not making choices protects Alina from consequences and the story gives her little incentive to change that; in fact, things tend to turn out better when she doesn’t make choices (magic stags will arrive). 
Like... let’s look at a few occasions when Alina almost or does make choices. For example, she chooses to (it seems) sleep with Kirigan, but then there’s a convenient knock at the door and Bhagra arrives with key information that changes Alina’s mind instantly despite the fact that Bhagra’s been pretty terrible to her. If you want to write a woman realizing she’s been duped by a cruel man, show her discovering it instead of having the man’s abusive mother tell her when she had absolutely no such suspicions beforehand. There’s no emotional weight there because Alina doesn’t struggle. 
When she is actually allowed to carry out a bad choice, the consequences are handwaved away instead of built into a challenge for her. Like... Alina got her friends killed. More than once. I’m not saying she’s entirely to blame for these but could we show her reacting to it? Feeling any sort of grief? She never mentions Raisa or Alexei after they’re gone, just Mal, and I’m... okay. They were there because of you. Aren’t you feeling anything? Aren’t you sad? The only time Alina brings up her friends’ deaths is to tell Kirigan he killed her friends when they were only there because she burned the maps. She yells at Kirigan for “never” giving her a choice, but she almost never makes any, so why would he? Alina has the gall to lecture Genya about choices, but she herself almost never has to make any. 
Which brings me to another complaint in general: Alina’s lack of care for everyone around her when they’re not Mal, even if they care for her. Marie dies because of her (absolutely not her fault of course) but as far as we know she never even learns about Marie. She certainly doesn’t ever ask about her or Nadia. Alina seems apathetic at best to people, certainly not compassionate or kind. 
The frustrating thing is that there is potential here. Like, it actually makes a lot of psychological sense for an orphan who has grown up losing to be reluctant to care for people outside of her orbit and that she would struggle to believe she can have any say in her destiny (ie make choices). It’s also interesting that a girl who feels like an outsider views others outside her. But the show never offers examines Alina’s psychology with any depth; it simply tells us she’s compassionate when she is demonstrably not, it tells us she makes decisions when it takes magical intervention to do so. It’s a missed opportunity. This does not change between episodes 1 and 8, despite the episodes’ parallel structures and scenes, which unintentionally reinforces that Alina had little real development. 
Inej and ironically Jesper and Kaz embody the concept of “mercy” far better and with far more complexity than Alina does. The Crows have reactions to the loss of people who even betray them (Arken, etc), learn, and course-correct (or don’t) when they are even loosely involved in having strangers die. They’re good characters because they change and learn and have their choices matter. When they kill we see them wrestle with it and what this means even if they are accustomed to doing so. Jesper can’t kill in front of a child. Kaz wonders what his killings do to Inej’s idea of him.
Narrative: The Mixed Bag
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Tropes, Themes, Telling vs. Showing
So the show’s themes in the Alina storyline are a mess, as they are in the trilogy too. Tropes are a very valuable way to show your audience what you’re trying to say. They’re utilized worldwide because they resonate with people and we know what to expect from them. The Crows' storyline shows us what it wants us to learn.
Preaching tells, and unfortunately, the trilogy relies on telling/preaching against fornicationBad Boys. It’s your right to write any trope or trample any trope you want--your story--but you should at least understand what/why you are doing so. The author clearly knows enough about Jungian shadows and dark/light yin/yang symbolism to use it in the story, but then just handwaves it away as “I don’t like this” but never does so in a narratively effective way: addressing the appeal in the first place. If you really wanna deconstruct a trope, you gotta empathize with the core of the reason these tropes appeal to people (it allays deep fears that we are ourselves unlovable, through loving another person despite how beastly they can be), and address this instead of ignoring it. Show us a better way through the Fold of your story. Don’t just go around it and ignore the issue.
The trilogy offers highly simplistic themes at best--bad boy bad and good boy good, which is fine-ish for kid lit but less fine for adult complexity, which the show (more so than the books) seems to try to push despite not actually having much of it.
Alina and Mal are intended to be good, we’re told they are, but I’m not sure why beyond just that we’re told so. Alina claims the stag chose her, but in the show it’s never explained why at all. Unlike with Kaz, Inej, Jesper, and hell even Matthias and Nina, we don’t see Alina or Mal’s complex choices and internal wrestling. 
Like, Inej’s half-episode where she almost killed the guy they needed was far more character exploration than Alina has the entire show, to say nothing of Inej’s later killing which not only makes her leaps and bounds more interesting, but ironically cements her as a far more compelling and yes, likable, heroine than Alina. We see Inej’s emotional and moral conflict. We can relate to her. We see Kaz struggling with his selfishness and regrets, with his understanding of himself through his interactions with and observations of Inej, Alina, the Darkling, Arken, and Jesper.
We don’t explore what makes Mal or Alina good and what makes them bad. We don’t know what Alina discovers about herself, what her power means for her. We are told they are good, we are told she knows her power is hers, but never shown what this means or what this costs them/her. Their opportunities to be good are handed to them (the stag, Bhagra) instead of given to them as a challenge in which they risk things, in which doing good or making a merciful choice costs them. Alina gets to preach about choices without ever making any; Inej risks going back to the Menagerie to trust Kaz. Her choices risk. They cost. They matter and direct her storyline and her arc, and those of the people around her.
Production Stuff:
The Good: 
The production overall is quite excellent. The costumes, pacing, acting, and cinematography (for example, one of the earliest scenes between the Darkling and Alina has Alina with her back to the light, face covered in his shadow, while the Darkling’s face is light up by her light even if he stands in the shadows) are top-notch. The soundtrack as well is incredible and emphasizes the scenes playing. The actors have great chemistry together, friend chemistry and romantic when necessary (Mal and Alina, the Darkling and Alina, Kaz and Inej, Nina and Matthias, David and Genya, etc.) All are perfectly cast. 
The Uncomfortable Technicalities Hamliet Wants to Bitch About:
The only characters from fantasy!Europe having any trace of an accent reminiscent of said fantasy country's real-world equivalent are antagonists like Druskelle (Scandinavia) and Pekka (Ireland). When the heroes mostly have British accents despite being from fantasy Russia and Holland, it is certainly A Choice to have the Irish accent emphasized. The actor is British by the way, so I presume he purposely put on an Irish accent. I'm sure no one even considered the potential implications of this but it is A Look nonetheless.
The Anachronisms Hamliet Has a Pet Peeve About: 
The worldbuilding is compelling, but the only blight on the worldbuilding within the story itself (ignoring context) was that there are some anachronisms that took me out of the story, particularly in the first episode where “would you like to share with the class” and “saved by the horn” are both used. Both are modern-day idioms in English that just don’t fit, especially the latter. The last episode uses “the friends we made along the way.” There are other modern idioms as well.
IT’S STARKOVA and Other Pet Peeves Around the Russian Portrayal 
Russian names are not hard, and Russian naming systems are very, very easy to learn. I could have waved “Starkov” not being “Starkova,” “Nazyalensky” not being “Nazyalenskaya,”  and “Safin” not being “Safina” as an American interpretation (since in America, the names do not femininize). However, “Mozorova” as a man is unfathomable and suggests to me the author just doesn’t understand how names work, which is a bit... uh okay considering a simple google search gets you to understand Russian names. They aren’t hard. I cannot understand why the show did not fix this. It is so simple to fix and would be a major way to help the story’s overall... caricature of Russia. 
Speaking of that... Ravka is supposedly Russian-based, but it is more accurately based on the stereotypes of what Americans think of Russia. Amerussia? Russica? Not great. 
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The royals are exactly what Americans think of the Romanovs, right down to the “greasy” “spiritual advisor” who is clearly Rasputin and which ignores the Romanov history, very real tragedy, and the reason Rasputin was present in the court. The religion with all its saints is a vapid reflection of Russian Orthodoxy. The military portrayal with its lotteries and brutality and war is how the US views the Russian military. The emphasis on orphans, constant starvation, classification, and children being ripped from their homes to serve the government is a classic US understanding of USSR communism right down to the USSR having weapons of destruction the rest of the world fears (Grisha). Not trying to defend the Soviet Union here at all, but it is simplistic and reductive and probably done unconsciously but still ehhhh. 
However, I’m not Russian. I just studied Russian literature. I’ve seen very little by way of discussion of this topic online, but what I do see from Russian people has been mixed--some mind, some don’t. The reality is that I actually don’t really mind this because it’s fantasy, though I see why some do. I'm not like CANCEL THIS. So why am I talking about this beyond just having a pet peeve?
Well, because it is a valid critique, and because it doesn’t occur in a vacuum. The Grishaverse is heralded as an almost paragon for woke Young Adult literature, which underlines itself what so frustrates me about how literary circles discuss issues of diversity and culture. Such praise, while ignoring its quasi-caricature of Russia, reflects a very ethnocentric (specifically American) understanding of culture, appropriation, and representation. All stories are products of their culture to various extents, but it bothers me on principle what the lit community reacts (and overreacts sometimes?) to and what people give a pass to. The answer to what the community reacts to and what it gives a pass always pivots on how palatable the appropriation is to American understandings and sensibilities. There’s nuance here as well, though. 
I'm not cancelling the story or thinking it should be harshly attacked for this, but it is something that can be discussed and imo should be far more often--but with the nuance it begs, instead of black/white. But that’s a tall ask. 
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bellasauruss · 4 years
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Jewelry Ideas for WoF OCS
Hello! I've compiled a massive list full of jewelry ideas for your Wings of Fire OCs, since I myself needed a list!
Something that's best to do is look through the categories below, and then look up online "X jewelry name" and then draw from actual images of jewelry. It helps!
When looking at all of these, think rather of more the general placement of something, and then think of more specific things such as metal type, jewel type, shape, etching, etc.!
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Earrings
Earrings are straightforward and the easiest to do crazy stuff with. Stud refers to a simple backing with a front piece that can be a gem, shape, etc. out of many materials. Earrings can also dangle and loop in an assortment of ways! Look up refs for these. They go in EARS, you can have one, two, however many in one ear.
Metal hoop
Wooden Loop
Dangling gem
Multiple gems Dangling Off each Other
Gem Stud
Metal Orb Stud
Wooden Stud
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Nose Piercings
These are piercings that fit into the nostril hole. You can have one, two, any number! One usually works the best though, and you can put them in between the nostrils or one in each.
Metal hoop
Stud through side of nose (Metal Orb, Gem, Wood, etc.)
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Miscellaneous Piercings
These are easiest to do with simple loops made of any kind of metal with no gemstones or anything extra. Below are the places a piercing can go on:
LeafWing back spine webbing
SeaWing back spine webbing
SeaWing under belly spine webbing
SeaWing talon web loop
RainWing frill loop or stud (just like ears!)
Wing webbing (Be careful about this; too many may get in the way or look strange. Probably not a very popular choice.)
SandWing sail
LeafWing leaf tail (impractical)
Tongue piercing
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Rings
These can have any metal, any number of gemstones, have different etchings in them, etc. It's VERY helpful just to look up rings for reference on these. Below are places rings can go.
Some more specific things you can do with rings is have a simple metal band, have different thickness/thinness, etch the metal, put a single big gemstone on it, cover it in gemstones, or have gemstones all around! Lot's of things. Some can even be shaped like things.
Talon ring (finger or thumb)
Horn ring
HiveWing middle snout horn ring
Wing thumb ring
Wing thumb claw ring
Wing finger ring
Wing finger claw ring
Nose horn ring
Back foot ankle toe ring
IceWing, MudWing, NightWing neck spike ring(s)
SandWing barb ring (very small and impractical)
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Bands
These refer to things that are bracelets and other metal or cloth loops that go around body parts. NOT rings. Rings are small.
Some more specific things you can do with rings is have a simple metal band, etch the metal, have different thickness/thinness, put a single big gemstone on it, cover it in gemstones, or have gemstones all around! Lot's of things. Some can even be shaped like things.
Tail band (at the base or near the end, different sizes. Can have multiple.)
Wrist band
Upper Arm band
Ankle band
Calf band
Neck band (Not a necklace; a thick metal band that goes AROUND neck)
SilkWing school band
SandWing Barb band
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Necklaces
Look up necklaces reference via search engine for best result, but here are some general necklace ideas:
Any kind of gemstone dangling from a chain
Chain
Locket pendants
Moon, Sun, Leaf, other nature shaped pendant (Wood, metal, etc.)
Shell necklace
Pearl necklace
Flower chain necklace
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Embedments
These are usually gemstone embedments and some places they can go. In theory, they can go ANYWHERE but these are more practical places.
Under eye gems
Eyebrow gems
Wedged between the scales along wing arm
Artificial NightWing teardrop scale embed
Gems around wrist or leg scales
Gems wedged in between back scutes (MudWing, NightWing, etc.)
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Pouches
These are usually a kind of leather or leaf. Below is a list of parts of the body they can go on:
Underbelly chest pouch
Backpack (just underbelly pouch twisted around)
Chest pouch
Neck pouch(s)
Throat pouch
Wrist pouch
Ankle pouch
Calf pouch
Upper arm pouch
Base of tail (Impractical and awkward)
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Head Adornments
These are any items that fit on the head, excluding horn rings, piercings, etc. These are things like crowns.
Silk veil (attached via horns and or ears)
Crown (SO many styles please just look up crowns)
Glasses
Monocle
Blindfold
Flower crown
Flowers weaving around horns
Chains weaving around horns
Charms dangling from horns
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Prosthetic Enhancements
It's hard to list all prosthetics, so I will list a few and then some things you can do to get creative with them!
Peg leg with dangling charms
Prosthetic leg with dangling charms
Metal being etched with pretty patterns
Gemstones being put on non restrictive parts of the prosthetic
Leather etching
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Miscellaneous
These are more obscure and less practical jewelry pieces that are usually tribe specific.
SeaWing chin barbel chain or ring (a jewelry piece that binds the barbels together, very unpractical)
SeaWing chin barbel piercing
SilkWing antennae string (Colorful piece of dyed silk attached to the ends)
Bandana around neck
Scarf
SandWing barb cap/attachment
Claws dipped in gold-leaf/other kinds of metal
Claw caps to make them sharper
Gold leaf/other metal leaf painting on scales
Cape! (This is super hard to do, but I made a good example of how a cape would work in this post: https://bellasauruss.tumblr.com/post/644977521943838720/challenge-accepted-chains-and-all
And that's all there is! If I find more or there are more suggested below, I'll add em! Hope you all appreciate this and enjoy it!
If you make art with some of the more obscure ones I'd LOVE to see it, so feel free to ping me! :D
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avintagekiss24 · 4 years
Text
SUNBEAMS & RHYTHMS || STEVE ROGERS; BUCKY BARNES
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pairing: Steve Rogers x blind!black!reader x Bucky Barnes || word count: 5,414 || warnings: mentions of depression, mentions of anxiety, mentions of insomnia, mentions of suicidal/dark thoughts, mentions of surgery/side effects of surgery (seizures/medications), smut, sex, threesome (m/m/f), polyandry/polyamory || challenge: @jbbarnesnnoble​​ mental health awareness month writing challenge - “the warmth of the sun fell over you like a blanket in the middle of winter.”
author’s note: this was such a great challenge, but please heed the warnings! we’re dealing with some sensitive issues in this one. I hope you guys like, and I also hope that I’ve handled this correctly! this is my first time writing a disabled reader. let me know what you think please :) and thank you all so much for all of the love since I've been back from my little hiatus! major inspiration from this post. I’m also getting used to a new laptop, so if there’s any weirdness in this post that’s why, lmaooo. okay, I'm done talking, enjoy!
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The room is shrouded in darkness - but not that you’d notice anyway. Your body is covered by the thick duvet thrown over the bed, your face buried in your hands. A splitting headache forces your eyes closed, but you’re used to them. The headaches. They started a few years ago, out of nowhere - you just thought it was stress, or, maybe not getting enough sleep at night. You didn’t pay them any attention at first.
They got worse. They got to the point where you couldn’t get out of bed. Your vision would get blurry. Steve suggested a doctor - you said no, it’s just a migraine. You’d be fine. He insisted after a few more months went by, and your headaches got worse, your vision worse.
You still remember it like it was yesterday. You sat there, stunned into silence. Your whole body numb. Steve grabbed your left hand, Bucky your right, as the room started to spin - the doctor's voice fading away as she spoke. Brain tumor. It was so large now that it was pressing on your optic nerves, making you slowly go blind. Within months, purples and greens and blues and pinks were all replaced by nothing. Not even black - it was just nothing.
The last clear thing you remember seeing were the tears in Steve’s eyes and Bucky’s metal arm thrown over your hip as he held you tight. You had to squint to make everything out, but Steve’s eyes were shiny - cloudy - as the emotion trickled down his cheeks. You wiped them away slowly with your thumb as you tried to etch his face in your mind so you’d never forget it. You wanted each line, each crinkle, each little freckle to be ingrained in you. You’d already spent hours staring at Bucky, doing the same.
You made them smile - soft ones, toothy ones, lopsided ones, just so you could remember them. Both men obliged, although Steve clearly couldn’t stuff his grief and anger down as well as Bucky could. Bucky was angry with him at first - telling him to stay strong for you. Surgery wasn’t going to be easy, mentally, emotionally, physically - they needed to stay strong for you. You told him not to be so hard on Steve. You were all dealing with the death - of the person you were, your relationship as it was - he was allowed to grieve.
You woke up from the surgery a few days later, tumor free, but almost completely blind.
Everything was just different from that point on. The medication after the surgery did a number on you. The steroids made you irrationally angry and agitated. Insomnia kicked in, you couldn’t sleep for days on end, so they prescribed you a sleeping aid. You couldn’t tell if it were day or night, so on top of the insomnia, your circadian rhythm was fucked - more medication. Your balance was off, you were confused more times than you weren’t, you had a seizure or two - bad ones.
That’s when the depression seeped in. You missed who you used to be. You were fun. You were wild - that’s how you ended up in a relationship with two men in the first place. You had a great laugh. You couldn’t hold your liquor for shit, and you had a great sense of style. You loved everything and everyone and now, you’re just a shell of that person. You end up laying in bed most of the day, days on end, as dark thoughts swarm around you, consuming the last spots of light you have left.
You’re a burden to them, Steve and Bucky. They’ve both had to leave the team, not wanting to be far from you in case something happened. Steve turned his shield over to Sam immediately upon hearing the news. Bucky stayed on for a while longer but wouldn’t leave the country, until even that was too much for him. He’s been home full time for a few weeks now.
The headaches now are from the new crippling anxiety and stress that you live with constantly. You don’t bother to put on anything but old t-shirts and sweats because, what’s the point? You can’t even remember what your favorite clothes look like. One afternoon, in a fit of rage, you pulled every article of clothing from the hanger and made Bucky tell you what color it was before you threw it away. You could only imagine him standing there, his hands on his hips, his head down, his voice low as he rattled them off - red, pink, yellow with white polka dots, navy blue and white stripes.
Between the irrational anger, the headaches, the insomnia, the feeling that your floundering - sinking just below the endless, dark water - you just want to give up. You just want to close your eyes and float away. Make it all end.
You hear the door slide across the carpet as it opens, and then heavy steps before a massive weight presses into the mattress. The duvet starts to shift but you grab it, stopping it from sliding off of your head and groan loudly.
“Bucky,” you whine, “Please don’t.”
He chuckles, “How d’you know it was me?”
His body wash. You used to laugh at the differences between the two of them - like day and night almost; but their juxtaposition is what made them, them. Bucky always went for earthy tones; rich - scents and colors alike. Naturally, his preferred body wash was heavier than Steve’s, distinctly masculine. Steve always liked a hint of sweet.
“Baby,” Bucky’s voice is soft and airy, “You gotta get up.” You don’t respond. You draw your knees into your chest as you feel him shift behind you, “Come on baby. We have a surprise for you.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
You can sense the smile on his face. He shifts again and suddenly you feel those metal digits slide up your spine. Slowly, slowly, slowly, they creep along your back and up to the back of your neck where he scratches at your hairline. You hate how short it is, your hair. You were natural before, took the utmost care of it. Steve helped you shave it off before surgery. Now, between the medication making it brittle and quite frankly, the lack of care you have, Steve helps you keep it short.
You let out a breath as Bucky’s large hand sweeps over your head, cupping it underneath the duvet before his digits find your ear to pull gently, playfully on the lobe, “Please? For me?”
You sigh. You let him pull the duvet away from your face. You start to blink quickly; jump slightly when you suddenly feel his lips on your cheek. You’re still not used to it yet, your senses aren’t - they’re getting stronger, you just have to trust them. You can hear your therapist's words like she’s sitting in the room with you. You relax though, when his cheek rubs against yours as he wraps your body up in a tight hug. You even smile a little as he kisses down your neck and along your shoulder as he rubs your hip.
You reach for him, finding his chin with your fingers. The short hair that grows along the bottom half of his face is prickly - sharp. You walk your fingers along his jawline and cup his cheek as he moans into the crook of your neck.
“Where’s Steve?” You ask softly.
“Packing up the car.”
You roll slightly onto your back, blinking at the nothingness as your fingers still move along Bucky’s face. You raise your second hand, sliding it along his left cheek, feeling him. You push your fingers over his lips, tracing them as you try and figure out what he’s feeling. Your hands move upward, over his nose, up to his eyes where you feel the crinkles on either side of them. He’s smiling; it’s a big one.
“Steve is really excited.” He says.
You picture an excited Steve. The light that fills his brilliant, blue eyes, the whiteness of his toothy grin. God, you miss his face, “Where are we going?” You ask after a moment.
There’s another kiss pressed to your cheek before he sits up, gently pulling your arms with him, “That’s the surprise.”
You let him pull you up to your feet. There’s footsteps again, coming down the hall, “Buck,” Steve says.
“She’s up.”
You turn your head in the direction of the door, dropping your chin to your shoulder, listening as the steps draw nearer. You close your eyes again and let another small smile spread on your lips when you feel soft fingers, Steve’s fingers, start to massage your shoulders. He kisses the back of your head and then your temple.
“Feelin’ better?” He whispers.
“Not really,” you answer honestly. You’ve never lied to them, there’s no use in starting now.
Silence drops over the room. You’re sure that they’re exchanging a quiet conversation, their eyes bouncing back and forth between each other, “Guys?”
“Still here,” Bucky answers, “Hands up, let’s get you dressed.”
You oblige, lifting your arms over your head as he pulls his old t-shirt away from your body, “I can dress myself.”
“Just let us help you.” Steve says gently, his hands slipping into the sides of your sweats to push them down your legs, “You know we’ve always liked pampering you.”
That they have. It’s been a long time since you’ve let them. Their hands feel familiar but yet different - you weren’t really paying attention to the feel of them before. Now that it’s all you have, the feel, you notice the difference between the two of them. Steve’s hands are a little softer than Bucky’s, but he hasn’t worked in over a year, that’s what you suppose anyway. Punching people and gripping various guns and knives are killer on the hands.
Once you’re stripped naked, Bucky places your arms back by your sides. You feel Bucky’s hands (his are calloused still) on yours within seconds, then, a slick material against your fingers.
You squint, “Is that a bathing suit?”
“It is. Your favorite one. Remember what it looks like?”
“The blue one?”
“With the polka dots.” He presses it into your palm, letting you feel it, “The strapless one, that sinches in the middle of your chest.”
You smile a little as you run your fingers over it. The stomach is cut out, the waist high. You liked it because it made your ass and your boobs look incredible, “I love this one.”
He kneels in front of you, grabbing your hand and placing it on his shoulder as Steve places his hands on your hips - steadying you, in more ways than one. Bucky lifts your left leg by your ankle and helps you step into your bathing suit, then moves to the right foot, sliding the soft material up your legs. Once his hands reach your waist, Steve takes over, grabbing the suit and pulling it up the rest of the way, up over your chest. He kisses your neck as you adjust the top over your breasts.
“Thank you.” You offer gently.
Steve pushes your hands above your head again and slips something soft down your arms and over your head. Bucky grabs it and pulls it down your body, adjusting it slightly as you place your hands on your chest - feeling it. It’s a cover up, the white one you think; the one you got on your vacation in Maui. It has a stain on it. Steve knocked over the bottle of red wine the three of you were enjoying as the two of you danced on the patio of your ocean front room, Bucky watching you with a small, happy smile on his face.
“I like this one,” you say more to yourself than to them, “It makes my legs look long.”
“Your legs are long.” Steve chuckles, “Come on, shoes now.”
Once you're fully dressed, Steve takes your hand, starting to guide you towards the door. You slip out of his grasp, taking a breath, “I can do it.”
It’s thirty seven steps from here to the kitchen. That’s when you make a right and take fifteen more steps to make it to the garage door. From there, it’s five steps to the car, unless it’s backed out into the driveway - then it's between twenty two and twenty seven steps, depending on just where it’s parked. You’re getting the hang of things, no matter how much you hate it.
You feel them hovering behind you as you walk but they both respect your boundaries, letting you navigate the house without intervention. You slide your hands along the side of the car to the door handle and pull, the old door creaking just a little. Bucky isn’t much of a car guy, but Steve? This 1967 Chevy Impala was the only thing he and Tony could talk about without fighting. Steve gushed over it every time the three of you had dinner with Tony and Pepper. Then, one day, it was parked in front of the house with a simple note from Tony shoved underneath the windshield wipers - Capsicle, much like your face, I can’t stand to look at this any longer. Enjoy.
You slide into the seat and within seconds feel their thick bodies enveloping you, squeezing you between the two of them. The seat rumbles against your back as the car comes to life, the engine and mufflers loud as… you lift your hand to the shoulder on your left and run it the length of his arm, down to his wrist, gripping slightly as you go. It’s Steve, his arms are just a tad longer than Bucky’s you’re coming to find; more vascular.
You squint as the car backs down the driveway and the sun hits your face. You lift your hand, blocking the rays as you start to fumble around in front of you. You’re surprised at how sensitive your eyes have become to the UV rays. There’s a hand on yours, then your glasses pressed into your palm, the fingers not pulling away until you unfold them and slip them onto your face.
“Good?” Bucky asks.
You nod, “Good.”
The windows are down, the warm breeze whipping around you, caressing your skin. The radio is turned up - Dreams by Fleetwood Mac - as you drive. Bucky hums softly, his metal fingers linking with yours, his lips pressing against your temple every now and again. Steve taps along to the beat with his fingers against your bare, exposed knee before he squeezes it gently. You smile as you start to relax, Steve’s words coming back to you. Just let us help you. You know we’ve always liked pampering you.
You drive for a while, over an hour maybe. Then, the car slows as you turn and stays slow, creeping almost, like Steve’s looking for something. The car turns again and comes to a stop a second or two later. The engine dies, the two buff bodies shift away from you as the doors pop open. There’s a tap on your right shoulder. You reach out and feel on the forearm until you find a hand, Bucky, before he grabs tightly and helps you out.
“I’m gonna help you, okay?” His voice is soft as he rubs his chin against your shoulder.
“Okay.” You answer. You turn your head to your left and blink quickly, anxiety starting to rush through your veins from the unfamiliarity of your surroundings, “Steve?”
“Right here, baby.” His voice is soft too. You feel his fingertips brush along the inside of your left wrist, just to assure you he’s close, “You’re okay. I had to get the bags.”
Bucky slips his arm around your waist and keeps your hand in his as he guides you. You count each step. Bucky narrates every move - that you are in a garage, just about to enter a house. You’re in a small hallway, seven steps before a left turn, then you’re in the kitchen. There’s an island to your left, a kitchen table with four chairs on your right and if you keep walking straight, you’re in the living room. He lets you feel your way, reaching out to touch the walls, the backs of the chairs, the island, as he talks.
You stop when Bucky stops, and then hear something slide open before the sounds of water crashing fills your ears. You’re back outside, the warmth of the sun falling over you like a blanket in the middle of winter. A hand slips down your calf and wraps around your ankle before your foot is lifted and your shoe removed. A broad smile covers your face. You haven’t been to the beach since the diagnosis.
You take a step forward once you’re barefoot, one of them grabbing your wrist quickly, “There’s steps, babe.” Bucky says.
“How many?”
“Six.” Steve answers, “Here let me-”
“I got it.” You say dancing your fingers over the railing and taking small, cautious steps until you feel the first step, “I got it.”
They’re hovering again. You can’t see it, but Steve has both hands extending out on either side of you, ready to catch you if you stumble. Bucky jumps the railing entirely, landing softly in the sand and rushes to the bottom step, his eyes on you as you move down them slowly.  When you step into the hot sand, your smile grows - if that’s even possible. You wiggle your toes as the grains slip between them and the waves continue to crash not far from where you stand.
Steve and Bucky keep their small distance from you as you walk towards the ocean’s edge, knowing you're close when the sand changes from loose and dry to stiff and wet. The water washes up over your feet, the smell of salt fills your nostrils, the random calls of seagulls both near and far ring in your ears. You grab the hem of your cover up and pull it over your head, discarding it onto the ground without a care as you move deeper into the water - a new purpose, new life flowing through your veins.
You don’t feel them hovering anymore. You guess they’ve both stopped at the water’s edge, soft smiles on their faces as they watch a wave crash into you, making you stumble. You laugh, loud and carefree, as you fall on your butt, the strength of the water pushing you around slightly. You don’t know it, but Bucky’s smile widens and Steve’s chin trembles as they watch you find a meaning again.
Tilting your head to the sky, you run your wet hands over your head before you wrap them around your legs, bringing them into your chest. You let the sun beat down on you. You let the water wash over you. You let the tears come. You let them slide down your cheeks and fall into the water. You let the ocean carry all of your tears, sadness, anxiety, and depression away from you and out into the abyss. You don’t want it back.
You lay out underneath the sun for hours, making peace with yourself, becoming one with the sand, water, and sun. Steve and Bucky keep a watchful eye until you call for them. Then, and only then do they approach, hands and fingers and lips all over your damp skin. They lay with you, staring up into the sky and calling out the shapes of the clouds. They play with you, splashing water in your face and pinching and tickling your sides as the three of you laugh loudly. Wildly.
You feel like yourself again.
When the sun sets, and the breeze rolling off of the water turns chilly, making chills run through you and bumps pop up on your skin, the three of you head back inside. Door dash brings you a quick dinner, which you all inhale before heading back into the bedroom to bathe. Bathtubs are rarely big enough for the three of you, but you always make it work - sitting in Bucky’s lap, your back to his chest, Steve at the other end.
Steve shaves your legs slowly, dropping kisses on the inside of your ankle as Bucky massages the shampoo into your short hair. Bucky taps underneath your chin before he pushes his index finger into it softly, tilting your head back. He pours warm water over your hair, sweeping his hand through it to push the suds away. Just let us help you. You know we’ve always liked pampering you.
You stay in the tub with your boys until the water runs cold. You’re wrapped up in a warm, fluffy towel, Bucky rubbing his hands up and down your arms trying to warm you up as you shiver and laugh at yourself. A song starts to play from somewhere in the house, slightly muffled as the sound passes through the walls and down the halls. Dream A Little Dream Of Me. The duet between Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were long replaced by Captain America and The Winter Soldier by the time this version came out, but they love it all the same. It reminds them of home, they tell you.
You’re suddenly crushed against one of them - Steve. You know this because you run your hands along his chest to his shoulder, not feeling the jagged, deep scar where Bucky’s flesh meets metal. He grabs your small hand and places it to his chest as he sways with you, back and forth, turning in slow circles as Louis croons.
Stars fading, but I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear
Just saying this
Steve spins you away from him and Bucky finds you, wrapping you up in his arms - an arm slung around your waist, fingers spread against your naked back as he holds your hand. You melt into him, humming softly as your toes brush against his, the soft sounds of your feet pushing along the hardwood floor beneath you adding a natural soundtrack.
Steve’s hands find your shoulders from behind. He presses his thumbs into your flesh as he squeezes and rubs slowly, his lips peppering your jaw and down your neck, “You’re so tense, baby.” He whispers.
“Depression will do that to you,” you chuckle, your new humor darker than what either one of them are used to. You feel them both stiffen at your words, hear a sad sigh from behind you, “Sorry. It was just a joke.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Bucky says, “We want to know what you're feeling, good, bad or indifferent. You don’t have to joke with us.”
You take a breath. You rest your head on his chest and start to chew on your bottom lip, “I know.” Your voice is small.
Defense mechanism.
You fight the urge to cry. Your eyes start to water, your skin starts to flush with heat, your jaw gets tight. Steve grabs the back of your neck gently as he kisses your shoulder blade gently, just wanting you to feel him. Bucky keeps dancing with you as the tears start to fall, cupping the back of your head in his large hand as he pushes his lips to your forehead.
What is it your therapist says? You aren’t in this alone, or something like that. You never believed her, or those words - until right now. Right in this moment. It’s been a year of self imposed loneliness. Dark thoughts accompanied by even darker impulsions of wanting to slip underneath the water and never resurface. Fear and anxiety telling you that you need to push away - they’ll both leave you one day for a resemblance of normalcy again.
They haven’t.
They won’t.
The days have turned into weeks, have turned into months - and here they are. Slow dancing with you in the moonlight as Ella Fitzgerald plays through the walls. Bucky wipes at your cheek with his thumb, pushing the emotion away. He nuzzles his cheek against yours as you reach up and scratch at the nape of his neck to calm yourself, “We aren’t going anywhere, doll.” He whispers.
“We promise.” Steve adds on.
You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. Bucky tilts your head towards his and without a warning, his lips cover yours. Soft. Commanding. His velvet tongue massaging yours as Steve bites down on your shoulder.
The sheets of the bed are soon mangled and twisted, pillows cast to the floor as you writhe beneath Bucky’s heavy body. Your leg is thrown over his hip, your fingernails dig into his thick flesh, the tips of his long, soft, dark hair brushing over your face. You have your other arm draped over his neck as his hips push into yours, driving himself deeper and deeper into you. Your mouth hangs, as does his - lips brushing against each other, hot breath washing over each other's skin as you push your foreheads together.
Steve waits patiently, although his fingers dance over your breasts, his palms brushing over your nipples before he palms your skin. He squeezes and gropes before he sends his hand down your stomach and to your clit to rub gentle circles against it as Bucky pummels you. He’s on his side, his nose and forehead pressed against the side of your face, his bottom lip between his teeth before he nips at your jaw and chin.
He tears your hand away from Bucky’s body to grab his hard length, dragging your palm with his, down his shaft. He’s so warm. His tip wet from his arousal.
It’s been a long while since the three of you have made love. It’s been a long while since you’ve felt beautiful enough too. You hadn’t realized how much of your self esteem was wrapped up in your hair until you had to shave it off. You also weren’t sure if you’d like it the way you used to - handle it with the same confidence you once had. Not being able to see them - see their hard muscles and their strained faces while in the throws of passion. That’s what turned you on.
Not anymore.
It’s the way you can tell them apart without having to see them. It’s the feel of their bodies now, not the sight of them. How rough and dominant Bucky’s hips are in your darkness, how sweet and loving Steve’s touch is. Their sounds; both deep and desperate for you. How the sounds vibrate against your ear drums and skin, moving through you - the illicit response your body has to them - the sounds.
You slam your head back into the pillow as Bucky pulls out of you. You pant and moan as you arch your back from the mattress as they shift around. Steve’s lips, you know their Steve’s because they’re rushed; always rushing, rushing, rushing like he’s still a man running out of time, push against your stomach, light kisses moving down to your sex. He bends your legs back, your feet dangling by his ears as he nibbles on the inside of your thigh.
Bucky grabs your hand just as Steve pushes his nose through your folds and sucks you into his mouth. Bucky moves your hand down his hard stomach to his pulsing hips. You wrap your hand around his warmth and feel him pump up into it, a little grunt falling from his lips at the same time.
Steve hums as his tongue swirls around you, flicking and lapping at you as his index and middle fingers push into your cunt. You buck your hips into his face, using all of him, his chin, his lips, his nose to cop a feel as he sucks on you. He releases your flesh with a loud smack - then drags his wet mouth the length of your thigh, up to your knee, and along your calf as he sits up on his knees. He extends your leg, resting it against his chest and shoulder as he sucks your manicured toes into his mouth, his large hand caressing your calf.
Bucky growls as he sucks your taut nipple into his mouth and wraps his metal fingers around your throat. He then kisses your mouth, hard and desperate, moaning into you as he continues to push his hips into your warm hand and against your side. He squeezes, gently, slowly, causing you to gasp just as Steve pushes into your wet, slick, swollen cunt.
You groan into Bucky’s hot mouth as Steve starts to move. His thrusts are softer, gentler than Bucky’s - always have been. He keeps your leg curled over his shoulder, his lips peppering kisses along your ankle and calf, his other hand and fingers gripping your thigh. The cool metal of Bucky’s fingers skip over your hot skin, down between your breasts and to your stomach before he flattens his palm against you, pushing down to add some pressure.
Bucky bites your bottom lip, pulling softly before he lets go. He nuzzles back into the side of your face, the stubble on his cheek cutting across your skin. He wraps his hand around yours that still pumps his cock and glides it slowly up and down, up and down, up and down as he moans into your ear; heavy, hot breath caressing your neck and the side of your face.
Steve hits a spot; your toes curl. Your hips jerk - your muscles tense. Fingers begin to massage your clit, slow, slow, slow circles to draw out the sensation. Teeth nibble at your ear lobe. Fingers glance across your skin. Mouths and lips take turns on yours. Steve drives his hips harder and faster - pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling. Bucky breaths fire laced words, provoking you, prodding you, coercing you to just let it all go…
You shatter. It consumes every bit of you. Physically. Emotionally. Their hands and fingers are everywhere, gripping, pinching, holding as you come. Steve pulls out of you - he always liked to watch you come, how your sticky, swollen sex convulses with each contraction from your orgasm, your clit jumping. He pushes his fingers back through your folds as he pushes his cock inside of you again, also loving the squeeze.
You feel hot, quick bursts of silk, over and over, splash against your stomach. Bucky groans with each, right up against your ear, the sound vibrating through your entire body.
Heat then blooms inside of you - Steve. Your muscles constrict around him, pulling each warm, thick ribbon of cum from him, coating your walls. He pushes deep and grabs your hand, placing it right in the middle of his chest so you can feel his muscles tense and flex as he comes. Feel the soft rumble of the grunts that vibrate through his chest. Feel his heart.
He collapses beside you, your body bouncing against the mattress as his weight pushes against it. The three of you are nothing but heavy breaths and balmy skin. Eyelashes resting against your cheeks as your eyes close with the recession of your lust. A head rests on your chest. You lift your hand and slip your fingers through the tresses, finding them short and kind of wispy - Steve.
Metal fingers curl within yours, a sturdy leg thrown over your thighs. A hand splays across your chest. Lips connect with your shoulders and jaw - fingers massage and scratch at your scalp softly. It’s all a blur. The haze won’t let your brain try and figure out who is who; but maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s what you need. You don’t need to know. You can let go some of the control that you’ve been so desperately searching for.
You inhale deeply; and let out the breath you’ve been holding for over a year.
Your delicate fingers are lifted and pressed against hot lips - each digit receiving a kiss before being placed on a chest. The thump thump thump of a heart beat drums against them. You let out another breath as you nuzzle into their heavy bodies, soft I love you’s passing back and forth. There’s a faint skip of the record player down the hall. The soft whoosh of the breeze playing with the open curtains that cover the windows. Three bodies huddled in the center of the bed; just breathing.
In and out.
In and out.
In and out.
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