#although in high school I did it because I was literally told the day before the test that I was taking it so I had no time to prep

[seth-the-giggle-fish]

Ok, I've actually got a To Do list for today that needs to get done

drink some of the tea I made, but keep forgetting to actually pour so I can have some caffeine this fine day

put away dishes and fill the dishwasher again (run it if it's full, otherwise just get the dirty dishes out of the sink) EDIT: found more pots that need to be hand-washed because they're too big for the dishwasher they're soaking now

give my paint brushes a deep scrub with the brush cleaner/restorer since the last few times I've washed them with just hand soap

take out the trash whenever the freezing rain stops

hydrate like nobody's business so I can donate plasma tomorrow

brush up on my gen ed knowledge for the placement test I'm taking tomorrow for college (also look into if testing out of classes gets me credits or not)

sketch out the Sky Sharks painting (paint some of it???)

packaged up the beef jerky I made yesterday

make patterns for plush fish for my mom's book launch

[tenswrld]

soup!

mark lee x reader, super fluffy bc this is my literal bf and he makes me want to cry 25/8

a/n: mark brainrot has been so bad lately the delusions are getting to me

“where do you wanna go for lunch today?” you asked your boyfriend, who was currently mindlessly scrolling through his phone. 

it was mark’s day off from his tour, leaving you and him to explore chicago on your own. like the lovely significant other you are, you decided to treat mark out for lunch as a way to reward him for all the hard work that he’s been doing.

“uhm,” he thought for a second before letting out an awkward laugh. “i don’t really know what’s around here.”

you thought about taking him somewhere fancy; somewhere where you could proudly treat your boyfriend to expensive ass food (even if it did leave you and your wallet crying by the end of the night) because, to you, mark deserved nothing but the absolute best. thus, you began to search for some of the more famous spots in chicago. a curious hum from your lover quickly interrupted you and caught your attention.

“johnny was talking about this one place he used to go to all the time,” he trailed off, trying to remember the name. “it’s, like, a bakery...?”

“a bakery...” you mumbled to yourself, smiling at the idea. “that would be cute!”

“i think it was called panera...?” mark sat up, ready to call johnny to confirm if his memory was correct. “yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s what it was called.”

you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “you want to go to panera?”

mark smiled at the sound of your laughter and turned to look at you. “yeah, i’m down! i want to see what johnny was raving about.”

“it’s not all that fancy though, just a warning,” you replied. not that there was anything wrong with panera, but you wanted to treat mark to something...better than panera.

mark shrugged, moving a stray piece of hair out of your eyes. “i don’t care about that. as long as i get to spend time with you, i can eat anything.”

flushed, you looked away and stood up, pulling mark up with you. “alright! panera it is!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

the two of you stood aside as you browsed the menu together. you hummed nostalgically with a soft smile on your face as you took in the atmosphere.

“you know, i used to come to panera a lot when i was in high school, too,” you told your boyfriend (who was meticulously observing his different options of soup).

at this, mark turned his head to you. “really? that’s dope, i didn’t know that.” the excitement in his voice made you chuckle, finding your boyfriend extremely endearing. “okay, should i get the chicken soup, or the broccoli cheddar? what vibe are we feeling today?”

after a moment, you leaned into his shoulder. “how about the chicken soup? we can share that and i can get us a pizza to share too.”

mark nodded and placed a soft kiss on your head, silently agreeing to your proposal. he let out a sudden gasp, catching you off guard. “woah, wait, you can get your soup in a bread bowl?” he looked at you as if to get your opinion and was only met with a fond smile. he took that as a way of you saying you liked the idea as much as he did. “dude, let’s do that.”

“i’ll order, you can find us a place to sit.” you gently pushed mark, determined to pay for your guys’ meal today.

mark frowned, keeping close to your side. “what? no, no, i can order, you should go sit.”

you placed your hands on mark’s shoulders, stopping him in his place. “let me treat you today, okay? you deserve it.” after mark made no effort to move, you pleaded one more time. “please? let me do this for you.”

although reluctant, mark eventually gave into you. he placed a quick peck on your cheek before turning around to go find a table for you two. “i’m treating us to dessert after this, then.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

“oh my god.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at the way that mark marveled at the food in front of him. he happily took photos of his bread bowl (and the pizza, but he was more excited about the bread bowl), and insisted on taking cute photos of you despite your constant whining about not being photogenic enough. you also took photos of mark, though he was too focused on the soup to notice that you were. 

mark dipped his spoon into the soup and raised it towards you, urging you to take the first bite (slurp ??). “here, taste it.”

leaning over the table, you hummed happily at the taste of the warm soup. maybe it was because of the cold weather in chicago, but the soup tasted especially good (or, maybe it was because you were eating it with the person you loved the most). “wow, that’s really good!”

mark took a napkin and wiped at a small drop of soup that dripped onto your chin before bringing the spoon to his mouth as well. leaning back in his seat, mark sighed in content, very clearly enjoying the soup. “damn,” he said after a second. “that’s some good soup. i see why you and johnny would come here all the time.”

“i think i only ever got the mac n cheese so, this is pretty new for me too,” you admitted, laughing at the look of disbelief on your boyfriend’s face.

“all those choices and you chose mac n cheese?” he teased you before feeding you another spoonful of soup.

“hey, the mac n cheese is really good, okay? and i was, like, sixteen.” you pouted at him.

“yeah, sixteen and clearly missing out on some good soup.” mark laughed at you, wincing after you gently kicked him under the table. “maybe we’ll have to come back sometime so you can treat me to this famous mac n cheese.”

smiling and reaching over to gently poke at his free hand, you agreed. “i think panera dates should be our thing whenever we come to the u.s., hm?”

mark shrugged. “that would be cool. i would eat anywhere with you, you know.” he took your hand in his and played with your fingers as he stared fondly at you.

you scrunched up your nose, feigning disgust. “you’re so corny.” mark only let out a soft chuckle and squeezed your hand that was still held in his.

“thanks for lunch today. you didn’t have to do that,” he thanked you softly, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“i wanted to treat you out today. you’ve been working really hard, it’s the least that i could do,” you confessed to him. “you’re doing great, you know? i don’t think i tell you that enough.”

dipping his head down, mark let out small noises of embarrassment. “don’t say things like that, you’re gonna make me blush.” he tried to fight the smile that was slowly growing on his face, but it was no use. “thank you, y/n. i love you.”

you pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles, your heart swelling at his words. “i love you too. now let’s fuck up this food!”

[3cremepie3]

Hi, there! :D

Since orders are open, I would like to place an order:

Reader: Female

Type: Headcanons

Scenary:

I imagined a scenario where the prefect is gaining recognition and popularity in other schools for being the human without magic who has faced many magical challenges. And some boys from RSA and Noble Bell College want to try to woo the prefect and convince her to change schools.

What would the NCR guys do in this situation?

Linger

Sypnopsis- How Leona, Vil, and Cater would react to Y/n who’s getting to much attention from NRC students.

Warnings - jealousy, bribing, slight violence, corruption

A/n - This is literally so late I’m so sorry love thanks for formatting it like this it was so easy to write.

.

.

.

.

Leona

Is the king of nochlantness. Someone flirted with you? He doesn’t care he trusts you. The both of you have been together for months now and you would barely dream of looking at another man. You were already caught up on each other. Or so you thought.

“I love you Y/n.” Your blushing friend had explained after gym class. You had only known him for the semester but he seemed to growing a bit too attached. “Oh,” you cringed. “I have a boyfriend you know,” you explained. “I don’t care about him I wouldn’t mind being a side chick.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell him off he was already on his knees begging for your answer. But a supposed-to-be sleeping lion awakened and stood at your side. “Get up you bastard,” he chuckled. Your friend not being aware of Leona’s presence before ( probably because he was sleeping underneath the benches) hand began to tremble.

“I didn’t know you needed hearing aids,” Leona seethed. He picked your friend up by his collar which slowly began to disintegrate. You hadn’t noticed it before but he began to use magic. “I-I,” he stuttered. Leona’s magic amped up and your ex-friends shirt was completely gone by now.

His powers were dangerously close to reaching his skin. But despite his low growling Leona gained composure letting him go in the nick of time. Your friend scrambled away screaming at the top of his lungs about the danger. “That’s why you don’t wake a sleeping lion,” Leona sighed.

Vil

Vil doesn't get jealous or he’s not supposed to at least. He has enough beauty to win all the pageants in the world why would he be worried about that ugly pedestrian? That's because he kept making you blush.

Vil was aware of the fact that he was critical but he complimented you at times. Like when he brought you that fur coat and those posh heels. You looked lovely and he told you so by saying “You look alright tonight.” Maybe it’s because he wasn’t affectionate like this homewrecking hoe. Either way, he had to do something.

“You heard me right I’ll refuse to work here any longer.” He must go,” Vil smirked. You had no idea why Vil was so happy after coming out of the meeting with the director. But Vil sure knew why, he promised the director he would quit if that guy wasn’t automatically kicked off of the set.

And him being a high profile actor had his wish come true! Now there was no pesky fly in your ear and Vil would be the only one whispering sweet nothings!

Cater

“Y/n he’s like so canceled right now you can’t hang out with him,” Cater declared. “Huh what did he do,” you asked. “He’s a misogynist,” Cater frowned. Your heart immediately dropped how could someone who treated you so kindly be like that?

“Yeah apparently in 2020 the cursed year he was an incel.” Cater made a gagging sound afterwards awaiting your reaction to the news. Although your friend had apologized he still had problematic behavior.

Well, at least Cater saw it that way he was a pick-me. He could never go through the school day without feeling exhausted and not leaning on your shoulder. The final straw for Cater was when he laid in your lap. That’s when Cater decided that he “needed dirt on him.”

And he didn’t expect to find that much but the payoff worked amazingly. You had successfully cut him off now Cater would be the only guy your mind would be stuck to linger on.

[munsonslilbunnie]

sobbing rly loudly because all i can think about is robin having a plus-size gf pls.

sure, she’s had lil private flings here and there but when she first met you, it’s like her whole world suddenly revolved around you, before you even knew who she was. she’d be a lil lovesick, truth be told, watching you from afar, admiring you — from your pretty manicured nails to your glossy lips that she wished she could taste to the way your clothes hugged your plush body. you were so unapologetically yourself, wearing the cutest little dresses that did nothing to hide your thick legs and shorts that hugged your thighs and showed off the stretch marks that trailed up, up, up, before they completely disappeared from view. she’d know little obscure things about you — such as how you needed to sit in the front of the class because you refused to wear your glasses during school hours or how your favorite fruit was strawberries or how you didn’t like it when your food touched each other and if it did, you’d huff and fix it yourself. robin found you so adorable, it was almost unbearable keeping herself from you.

steve would always tell her to just go and talk to you already, to give it a shot, but she was too afraid. after all the what-ifs with vickie, she didn’t want to risk it and expose herself to you, although all she wanted to do was at least talk to you — once.

of course, that never happened. graduation came and gone and she hadn’t seen you in so long, she assumed that you had moved away by then. but, thankfully, the world didn’t work that way and you were suddenly walking back into her life two months after graduation when you came into the family video, flashing her the prettiest smile she’s ever seen and she was in deeper shit than she had been before.

you were much prettier up close, she’d get lost in your eyes one too many times that steve had to step in and intervene, a wingman one could say, so that the conversation would keep flowing to the best of her ability. you were so — so — much sweeter and admirable and amazing than she already thought and the fact that you were even giving her the time of day made her feel high.

before she knew it, you both were hanging out every day after work, either relaxing at each other’s place, going out to the record store, hanging out with the others (who absolutely love you), anything and everything that you could think of, you both did it together. as time went on, robin started to notice that it would just be you two, but she tried not to think too much into it because one, she didn’t think you liked girls, and two, she didn’t want to ruin anything between you two. she’d rather keep you as a friend than not have you in her life at all.

really, it was you who had made the first move. you two had been at your apartment, one that you rented by yourself, sitting on the couch with your legs thrown over her lap. robin had been tempted to put her hands on your legs, but thought better and kept them to herself, keeping her arms crossed over her chest so that she wouldn’t try anything. she had noticed you were quieter than usual, with the cutest pout on your face. she wasn’t sure what caused it, but she had leaned over and tugged your bottom lip slightly with her thumb, thinking that the hitch in your breath was a figment of her imagination.

“now, what’s got you all pouty? wan’ a different movie on?”

“why won’t you kiss me?” you had blurted out, suddenly shifting on the couch with your knees digging into the cushions, your face literal millimeters away from robin’s.

it took her minutes to stop spluttering, her hands flailing around as she stared at your unimpressed facial expression. she hadn’t been sure what the hell to even say — what do you mean kiss?!

“we’ve been on dates multiple times now and you haven’t kissed me or even made a move on me!” you had whined, crossing your arms as your lips twisted, a frown marring your face, “if you don’t wanna date, just tell me and we can stop. of course, i don’t wanna fucking stop because i happen to like you too much, but ro’, i just—”

robin hadn’t even realized that she had launched herself at you, the two of you falling onto your couch with her lips on yours, successfully stopping you from the big rant she knew you were about to do. that night had been a hazy, fuzzy mess of torn clothes, heavy panting and whimpering, plush thighs that trembled and quivered between robin’s head, fingers that explored places that were only ever thought of in her dreams.

without even realizing it, robin already had the prettiest girlfriend of her dreams right by her side <3

[kaylinlmao]

The black phone Can you make one with the reader with social anxiety/depression

Hi! Long time no see! This is fic #1 in my new years event.

New update on my fic writing! In every single fic I write, Reader will be 17 and all TBP boys will be 18. If in the fic they are in high school, both reader and all TBP boys will be in their senior year. This will apply to all fics I write, even if they're not with the TBP boys, unless I specify otherwise. When I do fics, I will usually do them in 1st or 3rd person. With headcannons, I will do them in 2nd person. So keep that in mind while requesting! Hope you enjoy!

Of course I will do this request! I was scrolling through my requests and saw this one. I also suffer from social anxiety and depression so hopefully I got this one! I'm going to do these as slight yandere but seperate headcannons. I also hc that Finn speaks fluent French so from now on. Boom. You're welcome. All of these specific headcannons will end the same with TBP boy saying I love you with the nickname I think they'd call you. Cool? Cool. Meanings behind the nicknames. Robin and Finney's are pretty self explanatory. Bruce's is because I guarantee you he cracks jokes about you being his little cheerleader. Vance is because I'm sure some of us are short.

Slight Yandere!Ghost Boys x Reader who suffers from social anxiety and depression (separate headcannons)

Finney Blake

He was walking you to the library so that he could tutor Robin and you could read until he was done, just like every other day. The halls were very crowded and you began to get overwhelmed.

You started to get self conscious, feeling as though everyone's eyes were on you. Which, of course, wasn't true. But in the moment, that's what it felt like.

It began to get harder to breath. It felt like you were suffocating.

Now, Finn began to notice something was wrong. He didn't know about your social anxiety and depression. Although he did have his suspicions.

"Are you ok, sweet girl?" He asked you, reaching your hand and squeezing lightly. You smiled a big (fake) smile. "Oh, yeah! I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He saw right through you and you knew it.

He pulled you into the broom closet that was right next to you both. "What's wrong?" "Nothing!" "What's. Wrong?" 'Finn, I said it was nothing!" "Y/N!" "What?!" "Listen, please. Just tell me what's wrong." "Just, feeling a bit stressed." He gave you a disbelieving look.

He pulled you onto his lap so you're straddling him. "Please, little one. What's wrong?" With a little touch on your thigh and the look in his eyes, like he cared. You finally cracked and told him about how you felt. He asked you very specific questions about who makes you feel stressed and sad. Then, those people didn't come to school the next day. You knew. But you were too in love with him to care.

"Thank you for telling me." "Thank you for listening."

"I love you, ma petite fille de l’espace" "I love you too, Finn."

ma petite fille de l’espace: my little space girl

Robin Arellano

He never noticed that you acted different than others until you did something strange during your presentation in History class. You felt everyone's eyes on you and began to freak out, almost having a panic attack before locking eyes with Robin. You took a deep breath and made it through the presentation.

"What was that about?" He asked you while you were in the gym. It was after school and Robin was boxing while you drew in your sketchpad. "What was what about, Robin?" "The presentation thingy in history today. You kinda freaked out, y'know?" "No, I don't know. I'm literally fine. It was all fine."

But he wouldn't let it go. After paying more attention, he noticed that you gripped his hand tighter in the cafeteria and in the halls, in public in general. And that some days, you would come to school super sad. So, he went and did some research and found that a lot of the things you did match the symptoms for depression and social anxiety. He was offended that you didn't tell him. But. Oh shit! Maybe you didn't know! He has to tell you so you can both work on it together.

So, he went to your house that afternoon and sat you down to talk about it. "I did some research. And I think you have social anxiety and depression. But don't worry! I'll help you." The look on your face wasn't of worry. It was of acceptance. Acceptance that now that Robin knew, he'd leave you. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want you to leave me. I know I'm broken but please don't leave." You said, starting to sob.

"Oh, princesa. You really think I'd let you leave me. Never. You're mine forever. I'll love you even if you were the ugliest person in the world. Which you aren't. You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever met." "So you're not gonna leave me?" "I wouldn't let you leave, much less leave you myself. You're mine, Y/N." He said, pulling you down onto the bed and giving you a kiss. Wrapping his arms around you, you were hugging him like a koala. Legs around his waist and arms around his neck as he lay on the bed, smiling at you.

"I love you, mi princesita." "I love you too, Robin."

princesa: princess

hermosa: beautiful

mi princesita: my little princess

A/N: I'm sorry if I get any translations wrong. I used Google so. My apologies.

Bruce Yamada

You went to his championship baseball game to support him and everything was going great! You were cheering on the sidelines. I mean, he doesn't call you his little cheerleader for nothing.

But the loud screams your brother was yelling was making you nervous. You felt as though everyone was looking towards you and your brother. You're brother, of course, didn't give a flying fuck.

But you did. It was stressing you the fuck out. Your palms were sweaty, heart beating quickly, breathing sped up.

And you were like that until the game was over. By the time the buzzer went off, you were having a full blown panic attack. But you couldn't bring yourself to leave. He won! You had to support him like he supports you.

"GOOD JOB BRUCE!" Your brother screams. Never mind. Fuck this. You stood up quickly, dropping all the things on your lap. "Where are you going?" Your brother asks. "Bathroom." You run to the bathroom to calm yourself down when you hear the doorknob rattle. You try to calm your loud breaths and heaving chest.

"Y/N, sweetheart. Are you in here?" You hear your boyfriend ask. "Yeah! Just, fixing my makeup!" "Well, we won!" "I know! I heard." "Are you sure you're ok? You sound a little off." "I'm fine, Bruce"

You heard him walk away, leave for about 5 minutes and come back. Then the lock on the door opened and in he walked.

"Darling why're you crying?" "Just a little anxious." "You can talk to me. Please tell me what's wrong." After 15 minutes of him prying, you finally told him. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've helped you through it!" "I didn't want you to look at me different." "I wouldn't look at you different. Everyone has problems."

"I love you, my little cheerleader." "I love you too, B."

Vance Hopper

You were at the Grab N Go while Vance was playing pinball. You turned to walk to get a soda when you heard a loud crash.

"Vance!" You said, dropping your soda and running over to Vance, who was punching a guy in the face. "Stop! What is wrong with you?!' Everyone was looking at you. Why were they looking at you. Oh shit. You yelled at Vance.

You ran out of the gas station and ran home, in the middle of a panic attack. Not because you were scared of Vance. You weren't at all. You didn't like all the people watching you.

As you walked in your room, you heard your window sliding open.

It was Vance. "What the fuck was that? Why'd you run out like that?" As he started bombarding you with questions, you started to get stressed out.

"Vance, I struggle with social anxiety and depression. I love you but please, stop yelling at me." He was quiet for a minute and did nothing.

You walk over to Vance and you give him a hug. Not for him, but because you needed one. Even if he didn't like them.

To your surprise, he hugged you back.

"I love you, my shorty." "I love you too, V."

Billy Showalter

You were at the skatepark with your boyfriend, Billy. You were a little embarrassed because you weren't the best at skating. But Billy was good at rollar skating and he wanted to teach you.

You didn't know how. Let's just say, you sucked.

As you fell for the 5th time, you stood up and skated off. Terribly. You pulled the skates off and ran to the bathroom as Billy was right behind you.

He walked in the bathroom with you, locking the door behind him. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" "I can't do it, Bill! I suck!" "No you don't. You just haven't learned how yet. You'll get better!"

"No I won't! Everyone was watching me and-" Billy stood shocked as you started to cry. I mean, he knew you were human, but he's never seen you cry. You were the type of person to crack a joke in sad times. Like either laugh or cry type of person. (Me)

"Oh baby doll." Billy said, scooping you up and holding you like a baby. You just cried into his shoulder. You don't know how long you cried. It could've been for 5 minutes, it could've been for hours but when you stopped, Billy waited for you to be ready to talk.

"Bill?" "Yeah?" "I have social anxiety and depression. Its why I walked off and gave up. I felt embarrassed that I kept falling." "It's ok. Nobody is watching you. They're focusing on themselves. Not you." "Ok." You said with a sniffle.

"I love you, joker." "I love you too, Bill."

This was three days late, I know. I'm sorry but look how long this monster is!

Love y'all! :) -Kaylin

Fic #1 out of #23.

[stephaniebrownslover]

TicciWork Romantic Relationship In My Main AU-Part I

This was asked by a friend of mine. It's actually really similar to the long 15 part list I've tried to do but gave up on it.

Thanks for the request, my lovely friend!!

I splitted into two parts because it was becoming long and I thought no one would want to read that.

Sorry if it's rushed.

Their first meeting

Toby had a very troubled school life. It was hardly possible to say that the high school freshman was also better than the junior high. Because of his tics, he was constantly subjected to bullying and humiliation by other children.

Natalie had a terrible school and home life. She hated both of them and wanted to run away. They made fun of her at school because of her appearance and the girl who told about her old gossips in middle school, they really made her life unbearable.

Toby ascended to a tree in the schoolyard to hide from being the bullies' target at lunch break one day. He hoped not to stand out without making a noise and to spend his recess calmly with this was.

But when he saw Natalie stealing a cup of coffee from the canteen and then leaning her back against a tree to catch her breath, his audible tics kicked in from the excitement of being caught.

And when he saw Natalie, who turned her head up and looked at him curiously, he got so excited that his body shook quite a lot and he lost his balance. Although he tried to hold on to the tree with all his strength, he fell to the ground again because of a sudden tick, his body shook and all in all, he was a terrible tree climber.

Natalie didn't know what to do. Although the boy in front of him did not fall to the ground from too high, she thought that somewhere on his body was broken and it must hurt a lot. She put her coffee on the floor to help him and held out her hand for him to get up.

Toby apologized in a rather embarrassed way after getting back on his feet with Natalie's help. Natalie, on the other hand, did not care about his embarrassed attitude, she just asked him if he had always been such an awful climber.

When she saw that Toby, who did not answer her question because he was surprised, she paused, and sighed deeply. She told him that she would teach him how to climb a tree properly because of the respect she felt for him for not crying like a baby when he fell.

Toby was literally in a state of shock. In fact, both of them both knew and did not know each other. Of course everyone at school knew about the rumors "Slut Natalie" and "Ticci Toby", but they had never met face-to-face.

Natalie was then one hundred percent sure that Toby would forget about her or hesitate to call, so she immediately took a pen out of her backpack and wrote her number in Toby's hand. She told him to call whenever he wanted, and if he didn't call, she would come herself and force him to climb a tree.

And Natalie put a sarcastic but actually sincere smile on her lips as she left a confused Toby behind.

Before Toby became a proxy

After the training meeting they had together, they went out for something to eat. And after some chatting, they realized that they were having fun with each other's company, so they decided to meet again sometime, which they did.

Each of the countless meetings they went on was more fun than each other. They went to interesting places, sometimes they even got lost. Once, at Toby's request, they entered a maze, and Natalie, angry that they got lost, tried to tear down the walls made of artificial leafs. As a result, they were forbidden to enter the labyrinth.

In general, Toby was constantly making fun of Natalie, and Natalie was either telling him to shut up or responding to his teasing. And Toby was content with just being a more annoying person. But none of these jokes were the kind of things that could seriously hurt, it was more like classic teasing of teenagers.

Since their homes were close to each other, when they had no plan to follow, they would walk together after school. Although they were together almost every moment, they were never bored, even moments when there was only silence were peaceful.

Toby introduced Natalie to his mother at the end of the first grade, taking the opportunity of his father being away. But unfortunately, it was the day before he switched to home-schooling. He did not know yet that he would drop the casual high school.

When he and his mother talked, he was constantly talking about Natalie, and Connie was eager to meet a friend who was so good to her son.

The first time he saw Natalie on her doorstep, she and Toby were laughing, and his mother couldn't help but give her a big hug. Natalie did not respond to the hug because she was quite surprised, she did not expect such closeness.

Natalie was literally devastated when she received the news that Toby had switched to home-schooling. She got angry at him and told him that he had left her. Toby, on the other hand, calmly held her hands and told her that he cared too much to leave her. In fact, he even told her that he liked her.

Toby's first girlfriend was Natalie. Except for Natalie's boyfriend Chris in middle school, her first boyfriend was Toby.

They spent that summer as two idiot lovers. At the beginning of the summer break, they made a long list of things to do and tried to accomplish everything on that list. After a full day, their favorite thing to do for both of them was to watch the car cinema from the roof of a building. Everything was going too perfect to be true.

And it could not continue as nice as this.

Toby had started seeing Natalie less and less since he switched to home-schooling, but he wasn't the only one to blame for this. Natalie's grades had taken a turn for the worse and she was banned from going out most of the time.

As they couldn't see each other, their lives were getting worse and worse. Eventually, they stopped seeing each other completely, although not willingly or intentionally. It was more like getting caught up in the brutal intensity of everyday life and not knowing what to say when you see the other one after a long time.

Natalie didn't care much when she found out later that a nearby house had burned down and no one had survived except the mother of the house.

When she found out at school that this house belonged to a boy named "Ticci Toby", her world stopped turning.

After Toby became a proxy

Natalie, who thought crying was just a weakness, cried a lot that day without anyone to comfort her. There was no one to tell her that everything would be fine, the only person who was with her was Toby, who was already dead, and he was the cause of the tears.

She was so angry with Toby that she refused to visit his grave for a while. Because visiting his grave would mean things were real, Natalie didn't want that. Natalie just wanted to keep thinking that Toby was still alive, but only they weren't seeing each other.

However, she couldn't take it anymore. What she did was nothing but great disrespect to Toby. When she pulled herself together, she ran away from school one day and went to visit him.

Toby's mother was also there, and when she saw her son's only friend, she hugged her again. This time, unlike the first, it was a mother's hug who was in deep pain.

Eventually, Natalie had to move on because of her increasingly abusive life and her family.

But she never forgot Toby.

Toby, on the other hand, has forgotten everything about her.

[h-c-u]

Unhealthy Obsession

Summary: The one where Slider is obsessed with you, but you were obsessed with him first

Pairing: Ron "Slider" Kerner x stalker fem!reader 

W/C: 7.6k

Rating: +18, stalking, age gap, size difference, creepy and unhealthy relationship, psycho reader, underage reader in the beginning (no descriptions of sex until she's 19), mentions of other people having underage sex.

TWs: Stalking

A/N: Dead Dove Do Not Eat. You are responsible for the media you consume. 

Taglist: @jovialladyaurora

Masterlist | List of tags

You were just a few weeks shy of 17 when you saw him for the first time, and right then and there you knew that he was yours and you were going to be his... He just didn't know it yet.

He came to your high school with his friend who was giving a speech about how important the Navy is, and why all of you should consider joining, although he didn't exactly look like he believed in what he was saying, at least not to a bunch of teens. You didn't care about the rear admiral of whatever though... Instead, your eyes were glued to his shadow, leaning back on a very uncomfortable chair... He looked as if being here was a punishment, and you couldn't blame him, because you hated this place with passion. And he was just so easy to look at, all nonchalant, skillfully playing with a butterfly knife without any care in the world, and you couldn't help but wonder what else his fingers could do. You knew that one day you would find out, but for now - you just wanted to know his name... The patch on his uniform only said "Slider", and you smirked as soon as you were able to decipher it from afar. But that wasn't enough to find him...

Finally, you overheard him introduce himself to your English teacher after the whole presentation. Ron Kerner... He was laying it thick, and she was blushing. Oh well... you never liked that bitch. You took a very calculated look at them both and noticed the knife sticking out of the back pocket of his pants. One more look around, and no one was paying attention to anyone, people were walking briskly away from the corridor, and it wasn't that uncommon to bump into someone if you were not careful.

You were very fortunate to have a best friend who was your literal ride-or-die, and one look between you two was enough for her to see that you were in your little psycho mode, and she was already jumping in on it. You grabbed her by the wrist and both of you jogged towards your man. Just as you were getting closer, you pulled her in, so from the outside it looked like she accidentally shoved you. Enough for you to glide against his back and lift the knife from his back pocket, but not enough for you to land on the floor. Before both of you sped up, she shouted sorry, and dragged you around the corner, pushing your back against the wall.

- You always choose them hot... - she whispered, grabbing your hand, which was wrapped around the stolen black butterfly knife, and forcing you to present your trophy. She hummed, a little bit impressed with your pickpocketing skills

- After all, I chose you too, didn't I...? - you laughed, but when she reached to grab the knife you shot her a warning look, and she backed off immediately. Even though you shared almost everything, there was still respect for the few boundaries that were left. Well... When it mattered.

- You did. What's your plan...? - she took a quick look around the corner, and let you know it was safe to watch, so you peeked at him again.

- I'll just take him... - you said with a dangerous smile, while he was still flirting with your teacher. - It will take some time and a lot of effort, but he's the last one... I can feel it... - Heather looked at you instead at him, and something in your eyes told her that this time you were serious, and it made her sad a little because it meant an end to a certain era.

- What are we doing about her? - she asked, and she didn't even have to add anything else for you to understand exactly who she was talking about.

- It's an old building... So many things are worn to the point of danger... And it's so easy to just... slip... if you're not careful. - the devious smile crept on your face, especially when you saw that he put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him and you clenched your jaw. It would be so easy for you to unravel and lunge at the older women, but you knew it wouldn't work to your liking in the long term... You had to be patient.

- Noted... Leave it to me... - she leaned a bit closer to you and put a hand on your hip. - Do you think he's got a record? - she asked quietly, and you liked where her thoughts were going.

- I don't think so... Military and all... And even if he did something illegal, he might have gotten away scot-free... But... We can still check. - he finally left the woman alone and flustered, because his friend called him and let him know that it was time to leave.

- What are you gonna do about Matty...? - Heather leaned back when he finally disappeared from your line of sight, giving you more room to breathe.

- I can prep him for you if you want... He would give you a sweet, perfect, pillow-princess life that we all know you deserve. - you flashed your teeth at her, and she laughed out loud at the thought. You honestly liked Matt; being his girlfriend without that might have been a bit hard. But you knew from the beginning that it just wasn't… it. But his parents were loaded and more than fine with you staying there most nights, since they knew your situation.

You never knew your parents, and the idea of adoption never stuck with any of your foster families. Well, you didn't blame them, because when you were a kid, you didn't know how to keep your psycho in check. Now things were different... You were much crueler and more calculated, but only when you were sure that you could get away with it; you had to learn that the hard way... But it was already too late for you to find a good home since most families wanted kids young enough to call them mommy and daddy, so you had to find a way to get a good life on your own. And the simplest option was to marry into a good, naive family, and Matt was exactly that for you, a means to a good life... Well, until today.

- Nah, we both know I'd suffocate. Milk him for all you can till the last possible moment. - Heather gave you a soft smile. - And maybe make him buy me a nice, expensive purse for my birthday... - she laughed, and you were finally ready to move.

- Deal. - she wrapped her arm around your waist and led you both out of school.

It didn't take you long to get to the police station, where the sheriff was already waiting for Heather, and when she was screwing him in the bathroom, you snuck into his unlocked office - perks of a small town; everyone trusted each other. But leaving your login and password on a sticky note taped to the monitor was just stupidity; you weren't complaining about that though.

It wasn't the first time you found yourself searching through all the databases that this shitty department had access to. It took some time to load everything, but you were able to find a file with his name from over 20 years ago, which must have been before he joined the Navy; fortunately for you - it wasn't sealed. And just like that you had all his details, including the address, although you doubted, he still lived there. But there was also a mugshot, all beaten and bloody, but with a cocky smile lighting up his face as if he didn't regret anything he did. You quickly skimmed through the file to learn what he did, and you couldn't help but grin. He beat up 6 other guys for trying to gang up on some girl. He was released the next day, but there was no information about what happened after that.

You quickly printed two copies of the file and deleted the information about your search, although you seriously doubted that anyone here would realize what happened. You waited patiently in front of the building for Heather, and it didn't take long; they never lasted long with her... But fucking the sheriff had its perks, especially when her afterschool activities weren't exactly legal.

- Got what you wanted? - she asked as soon as she opened the door, and you nodded with a smile, file safely tucked away in your bag. - Great. Do you want to spend the night and brainstorm...? - like she had to ask. You loved her to bits, and you knew exactly how lucky you were to have someone as crazy as you, either to keep in check, or push you to extremes, and Heather was perfect in balancing both sides of you.

- With you? Always! - you laughed and grabbed her hand, intertwining your fingers with hers. In another life, she would have been the love of your life and you would ride into a sunset together, but in this one, you were more likely to blow up the factory and walk away from it, with explosions behind you.

Her house was modest, a complete contrast to her personality, clothes, and accessories, but it's not like she could flaunt her money in front of her grandma, who was her legal guardian. Although considering how oblivious she was, you wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even notice.

It took both of you a few hours of intense research to find all the necessary details and make a plan based on them.

You found out that Captain Ron Kerner was a highly decorated RIO, but it was hard to find much more about specifically him. Fortunately, there was information about how to get in touch with former and active members of the military via a specific office. And Heather also found information about the Naval Academy archive, where some of the files were kept, so you knew that sooner rather than later, there will be a road trip in your plans.

You also learned more about the Navy recruitment process because you already knew that you were going to change your whole carrier path just for him. Technically you would be able to apply in less than a month if you wanted to go the more... traditional route. But you wanted to be a pilot, to be close to him, and the Naval Academy wouldn't admit someone without a high school diploma, so you would have to wait two more months until graduation.

The Naval Academy itself would last 4 years, but in the end - it would have been worth it... For him, you were willing to starve yourself and live off the crumbs, because the meal you'll be eating till the end of your days would be better than ambrosia.

The second time you saw him was during your third week of boot camp and it took all your self-control not to throw yourself at him when you saw him sitting in a white plastic chair, all smug and with one leg thrown over the armrest, reading a newspaper, while his group of newbies was doing push-ups on rough sand. It was so easy to imagine sliding in between his thighs, undoing his pants, and taking his whole length into your mouth... But it wasn't the time just yet. You needed him wrapped around your finger and not thinking about you as a one-night stand.

But you still couldn't help yourself, and you messed up your exercise on purpose to get more laps at the end of the day, just so you could spend more time outside and catch a glimpse of him every three minutes when you were at that specific part of the field. You felt like a drug addict with the next dose dangling right in front of your face; like he was a magnet pulling you in with such strength, that you couldn't lose focus even for a second, because if you did – you would mess everything up.

And yet it still didn't stop you from sneaking to the men's locker room at the end of the day, when you noticed him going in there. You knew that at this time every single recruit would be eating dinner, so the chances of anyone catching you there were minimal. You were just hoping to catch a glimpse of him, maybe smell what type of gel he was using, but you got so much more...

The loud sounds of water drowned your light steps when you got to the common area, wrapped only in a towel, so you could use getting lost as a possible excuse if needed. Only one of the stalls was occupied and the shower curtain was almost entirely drawn, but there was a maybe... 3-5cm gap through which you were able to see him... Well, his back, to be more specific. The water was cascading over his neck and back muscles. One of his hands was on the wall in front of him and the other was lower, moving around his abdomen in a slow but rhythmic pace... And then you heard his moan... It shot straight through your core, and you had to put your hand over your mouth not to reveal that you were there.

You tried moving to a different spot in hopes of seeing more from a different angle, but it was futile. So instead, you leaned on the wall close to the door, and keeping your eyes on him, you moved one of your hands under your towel. He was just a couple of meters away from you and you could almost taste him in the steamy air. You wanted nothing more than for him to sink into you and use you in any way he wanted... But for now, the knowledge of him getting off with your eyes laser-focused on him had to be enough, and with Slider so close, it didn't take you much time to cum and drench your hand with your own release. Thank gods the floor was already wet, and you were wrapped in a towel.

And then the water suddenly stopped, so you reached for the door handle, but before you left you couldn't help yourself from grabbing a t-shirt he was wearing earlier today from a bag on the bench, and then you bolted outside, not really caring about much more.

After the shower encounter you had to wait much longer to see him again, but you knew that was a possibility due to the nature of his career. It didn't change the fact that you still craved him with every atom of your body, so when you heard his voice... You had to lean on the wall not to fall over. It took you a moment to compose yourself, but when you eventually did, you turned around, so you could look at him speaking with one of the commanders you knew you should remember the name of, but you didn't. Slider was asking about the exact group size, and you instantly got curious, so you stayed back to learn even more.

He was about to do a guest lecture for a class two years above you and hell would have to freeze over for you to miss it. So, after overhearing the lecture's name and the room number, you came up with a plan for how to sneak into the auditorium. It wasn't exactly hard, because there were over one hundred people waiting, and because it was a mix of few groups, no one knew everyone. You made sure to sit in the back of the auditorium, but not entirely in the back, so you wouldn't stick out on the background of mostly much taller, male aviators who occupied the last few rows.

By this time, you already knew about every non-classified mission he was a part of, whom he flew with, and who his friends were. You knew all his grades, memorized his dissertation, and every published essay he was a part of creating... You were basically a walking encyclopedia on Captain Ron Kerner, thanks to the files available in the academy.

But then the attendance list was read out loud and your name wasn't on it. The guy next to you gave you a dirty look when he realized that, but you just shrugged and mumbled something about talking to the teachers after the lecture, because you didn't want to interrupt now. But then, as the presentation was loading up on the screen, someone else realized. You could tell Slider noticed you for the first time ever and was about to call you out, so you did the only thing that came to your mind which was placing a finger on your lips, as if you tried to shush him, and winking at him, and as soon as you did that, he gave the most beautiful, jaw-dropping smirk that almost made you blush. But he didn't draw attention to you, although his gaze stopped at you a few times over the whole lecture, which contents you wouldn’t be able to recall even under torture.

Although you wanted nothing more than for him to bend you over that desk and fuck you so hard you would have bruises to remember him by, you focused on the bigger picture; it was too early. So, you snuck out of the auditorium about 10 minutes before the end of the lecture, without drawing any attention to yourself and left for your next class, trying your best to come up with a good excuse for why you missed the last one.

The next morning you just happened to hang out in the guest area, pretending you were waiting for someone, and not at all because you wanted to see in which room he was staying. He didn't notice you this time, his attention fully on one of the 4th year students, or rather - her breasts. you dutifully noted all you could about her to find her in the records later today. When they disappeared behind the corner, you went into the hall they emerged from and entered his room as if you were supposed to do that, and because of the confidence in your moves, nobody questioned you. It wasn't the first time you used the master key you stole from the cleaning crew during your first week here, and it definitely wouldn't be the last, but it would be the most memorable.

It wasn't the place he was living in, so it didn't have many marks that he was there, but still... The sheets in his bed were stained with his cum, which you found atrocious because you wouldn't let one drop go to waste, so that bitch definitely deserved what will come for her... His clothes were bundled up in his bag, and you just couldn't help yourself. You knew he wouldn't be back for a while, so you took out every single item from his bag and analyzed every detail. It wasn't much, just regular things a person would need during a three-day trip, but now you knew what type of soap and toothpaste he was using. He even had his cologne in the bag, and you just had to put it on your wrists and behind your ears.

You looked at your watch... If you stayed any longer, there was a high chance that you would be late, but you didn't know when would be the next time you'll be able to see him, so you chose to live a little... You climbed into the bed he had sex on last night, unbuttoned your trousers, and slid your hand under the material. You knew your body well and you knew where to rub, what to pinch, and where to push to get off as quickly as possible, and you did just that. It wasn't even two minutes before you were on your stomach, ass high up in the air and your face smashed against the pillow in search of the slightest trace of his scent. And when you finally finished, you had to bite on the material not to let anyone in the neighboring rooms know what you were doing there.

You unintentionally left a wet imprint of your mouth on that pillow, but you were 90% sure it would dry out before he comes back, so you honestly didn't care... And even if he realized, it's not like he could connect you to this small breaking and entering. Before you left, you grabbed one of his boxers from the bag, as a souvenir; it's not like he was going to miss them...

Next time you didn't exactly see him, only his gear in the locker room... Which meant that he was leading a flying exercise you unfortunately somehow missed. But you still waited patiently to see if he'd show up to collect it, but he didn't, which left you a little bit disappointed, because you haven't seen him for almost half a year now... But you still kept your eyes on the bigger picture, so instead of doing anything stupid or making a scene, you cut the straps of his helmet with the knife you stole from him the first time you saw him, which you started keeping on you after one of the guys from your year tried to do something he definitely shouldn't.

Back in your room, you cut the leather even more and sewn it back together, so it could be worn as a bracelet, and no one would be wiser. And after you put it on, it never left your wrist, serving as a reminder of what was about to come.

It was four months later when you met him next time... One of your teachers actually officially introduced you two together when you stayed longer to discuss a project you were working on. You didn't even know he was even in the academy because there were no guest lectures planned for the next week, so that meant he was here for something else.

- Pleasure to meet you, sir. - you donned your most neutral smile, but you could tell that he recognized you.

- I feel like I know you from somewhere... - there it was, that cocky grin that made your knees go weak, but fortunately you were already leaning on the desk, so you didn't fall over right then and there. - Have we already met? - he dug a little bit deeper, and you had to actively fight your body, so it wouldn't do anything stupid.

- I don't think so, sir. At least not officially... I was a spectator on one of your lectures last year, maybe that's it...? - you offered, and you knew that was it. Your brain was singing that he remembered you and that he deemed you worth remembering.

- Ah, you were the stowaway... - he laughed, and you never heard something as hypnotizing. - You weren't on the list, but you were still in the room. - he stated and there was no sense in denying it, so you sheepishly nodded and allowed a blush to show up on your face. It was actually perfect that you didn't have to keep it in check anymore, because it fit the situation, and you didn't have to force yourself to breathe in a specific way. - It's all right, I won't tell anyone... - he took a step closer, put his hand on your arm, and gently rubbed your skin there with his thumb. You could have sworn that there was electricity jumping in between your bodies, and when you looked up to gaze into his eyes... If it wasn't for the teacher still standing behind the desk, you would be pulling Slider into a deep kiss and undoing his pants, and the darkness in his eyes told you that he wouldn't object.

- Thank you, sir... - you whispered. You felt the need to swallow, but your mouth never felt drier. It took all the strength you had to look away and focus on your teacher.

- I should probably go to my next class. Can we finish discussing this tomorrow? - you asked, the blush still present on your face and chest, but from a completely different reason than the two men assumed.

- Sure. See you then. - he replied, and you broke the contact between Slider's hand and your bicep.

- Goodbye, sir... - you said much quieter and then you almost teleported out of the room, but your classes were the last thing on your mind. You quickly ducked into the bathroom and closed the door to one of the stalls to take care of the wet, sticky mess in between your thighs.

He was waiting for you the next day when you left the classroom you met in the day before, and he honestly scared you by saying your name, because you weren't expecting anyone on the other side of the door.

- Good afternoon, sir. - you said matter-of-factly. Today you were much more composed than yesterday. Maybe it was because you knew how close you were to your goal, or maybe the many, many orgasms you reached the night before. Alone, but still...

- Drop the "sir", Doll... You know both my name and my callsign, so why not use one of those? - there it was again... that cocky smile.

- Protocol, sir. – when you said the last word, you looked directly into his eyes and smirked. He laughed and you looked back into the corridor you were taking. He not only waited for you, he was actively following you right now to your next class, and you could feel the looks of other students on you, but you didn't give a fuck. Not when, after almost two years, he was finally paying attention to you.

- You shouldn't make a habit of disobeying direct orders from your superior officer... - he tried to tease, but you just chuckled.

- There is a whole HR department taking care of superior officers who order their subordinates to break rules and laws... Sir...- you teased right back, and you could tell that based on your interaction yesterday he wasn't expecting that. He was expecting a shy, naive, easy-to-manipulate girl that he could use and throw out, but you clearly had other plans. And since he was already interested, the hardest part was behind you. Now you had to remain challenging enough for him to have fun thinking he was seducing you, which was really as challenging as you wanted to be because his pride was even bigger than his muscles.

- Ah, touché... - he raised his arms in a gesture of surrender, but he didn't stop following you. - How about a private lesson then...? I could help you with your engineering project. - he offered, and you had to fight the smile, because you knew what he really meant by that.

- Thank you, sir, but respectfully no. I really have to work on it, and everyone knows how the "private lessons" with you can end. Especially the ones in your room. - you sighed, pretending to be just a little bit annoyed. Of course, he had a reputation. You knew every single one of his conquests because making their life miserable was one of your favorite hobbies. But he didn't need to know that... At least not yet.

- Oh yeah...? So, I have that kind of reputation...? - he tried to joke, but you shot him a warning look. You could easily bruise his ego by telling him that girls talk and imply that the things they were saying were not always good, but that might have been too much. - How about we meet in your room? That way your roommates can chaperon and make sure that I'm keeping my hands to myself...? - he offered, and you pretended to carefully consider his proposition.

- Fine. But just schoolwork. I really have to finish this project. - you eventually replied. - Room 312, 6:30 PM. Don't be late... Sir... - he chuckled, clearly pleased with himself.

- It's a date. - he laughed just as you were reaching the classroom you were about to have the next lesson in.

You didn't finish the project that evening because both of your roommates were magically busy all night. And you had nothing to do with that. Not at all.

He honestly did try to take you out on dates, but before you were able to leave the academy, you just ended up in your room. Or his. Or the janitor's closet. Or the bathroom closest to the exit. Once you even made it to his car, but the car never left the grounds... To the majority of people, from the outside, you were either a cute love story where two people met by accident and fell head over heels for each other, but there was a lot that saw your relationship as inappropriate, due to the fact, that he was a high ranking officer, and you were much younger than him, and they didn't even know the half of it.

With time you started showing him your darker side, and he repaid you by doing the exact same, or at least he thought he was, because you knew it for a long time by now.

But only when you were absolutely sure that Slider was as obsessed with you, as you were with him, you decided to tell him everything. A conversation wasn't exactly your style, though... So instead, you retrieved your special box from the vent and took everything out... The knife you stole from him when you saw him for the first time, the t-shirt that magically disappeared from his gym bag when he was training newbies in boot camp, the boxers he somehow managed to lose when he was visiting the Academy, and his arrest file, from before he joined the navy; the one you printed years ago, while Heather was screwing the sheriff.

You knew exactly when he'd be back in your quarters, so you were ready when the doors opened with a loud slam against the wall, and almost immediately slammed again, this time against the frame. You loved him like that, so eager to fuck you, that he was forgetting his own strength. He started taking his uniform off on his way to the bed, where you were splayed out, lazily reading his file (or rather pretending to read, because you had it all memorized for years now) and playing with a butterfly knife. Only when he unbuckled his belt did he realize from where exactly he recognized that t-shirt and growled so deeply that you felt it in your chest, even though he wasn't right next to you. It took him a few more seconds to recognize other items.

- Mmmmm... My little psycho kleptomaniac... - he purred, kneeled on the bed, and started kissing and licking up your calf and thigh until he got to his boxers. He buried his nose deep and inhaled your scent through the already-soaked material. - How long...? - he asked and bit on the material of the underwear that was one day his. You couldn't help but smile, when he started to remove the boxers with his teeth, dragging them all the way down your legs, until you were no longer wearing them.

- Almost two years before we officially met... - you replied, watching him closely when he started climbing on top of you, kissing, licking, and biting your leg, marking every inch of skin he came in contact with. But before he got to your pussy, you put your leg on his shoulder, stopping him where he was. You knew perfectly well he could easily overpower you by pinning your leg right next to your head and fucking you like an animal, but he didn't... not yet at least.

- Baby... - he pleaded, turned his head to your ankle, and bit it affectionately. But he still didn't move any further.

- You truly don't give a fuck, do you...? - there wasn't even a drop of judgment in your voice, just pure fascination.

- Oh, I want to give you all my fucks... - a devilish grin danced on his lips. - And it's hot... Knowing that you were watching me from afar... - he started moving again, and you let your leg slide on his shoulder until you were able to bend your knee over it. - Stealing my stuff just so you could get a sniff of my sweat... - he continued leaning forward, his torso looming over you. He finally reached your lips and started kissing you with such passion, that for a moment you forgot how to breathe. - I wonder how many times I could have fucked you before we officially met... You see what you did...? Now I'm angry... - you knew he wasn't serious, but it was still fun. - Because you got to know me much sooner. And because I was fucking all those bimbos while I could have been buried deep inside you, filling you with my cum every day... And you would have let me do that day one, wouldn't you...? - he grabbed your leg and pulled it down, so you could hook it around his hips. Even after all the crazy stuff you were doing in bed and out of it, a simple missionary was still your favorite... With his giant, strong body pinning you to the mattress, so you had no means to escape, while you could still stare at each other... Watching how the expressions on your faces changed, how you reacted to the sounds the other made, and devouring each other when all of that wasn't enough.

- You know I would. - you said with a huge grin, while he slowly started sliding between your folds, covering his dick with your juices, teasing you with every move, because he knew how desperate you were for him.

- Tell me about it. - he demanded. - Tell me when you knew you wanted me. - you couldn't stop a soft chuckle from escaping your mouth. You truly were a match made in hell.

- I was still 16, well 17th in two weeks... And you came into my high school with Iceman singing praises about how awesome the Navy was... - He finally dipped his head into your opening but didn't move until you started speaking again. - But I had eyes only for you... - a cocky smile crawled across his lips, while he slowly buried himself deeper and deeper inside of you. You honestly couldn't remember the last time he had to spend time stretching you, because even on a slow day, you fucked at least four times, and that mixed with the fact that a simple look from him could make you instantly wet... Well... Let's just say that you were always ready for him. - You were sitting a few rows in front of me, playing with that knife... - with your chin, you pointed at the black knife that lay next to the pillow. - And I just knew you were mine and I was yours...

- My perfect… little… psycho… stalker... - he grinned when he finally bottomed out inside you and leaned down to place a hungry kiss on your mouth. - How did you get the knife? - he asked pulling away, teeth still around your lip, and you let him pull you up like that, wrapping your arms around his neck at some point.

- I bumped into you when you were flirting with my English teacher and lifted it from your back pocket then... And Heather was with me, pretending that she accidentally shoved me. - you wanted him to move so badly, but you knew that won't happen just yet. You could feel your pussy stretched and pulsating around him, and you were slowly losing your mind.

- Ah... I think I remember... The teacher was married but still slipped me her number... - he grinned, and you clenched around him so hard that it actually hurt... In that gentle burn kind of way, but still.

- She didn't stay married for much longer... Her husband divorced her for his much, much younger mistress when she fell down the stairs and landed in a wheelchair. - there was something in your smile that told him exactly who was responsible for that unfortunate accident. - I fucked myself with it more times than I can count... - your smile was anything but innocent.

- Oh, baby... I would love to see that... So desperate for me that even the faint memory of my fingers on it could get you off. Tell me more... - he requested with a devilish grin.

- I'll tell you everything, but very pretty, please... Fuck me first... I missed you... - you grabbed a fist full of his hair and tried to pull him towards you, but he resisted.

- You said it yourself... You could have been fucking me for two whole years before we got introduced, so I know you can be patient when you want. You can wait a little bit more... - he teased, and you tried to wiggle your hips, but he had them in an iron grip, his fingers wrapped around almost your whole midsection. Every attempt to move was leaving red imprints of his hands on your skin because he was clenching them even more when you moved. You leaned forward and rubbed your forehead against his cheek.

- Ronnie, please, I can't... I can't think about anything with you inside... Please, please fuck your perfect little psycho into the mattress... - you were rambling, your eyes glossed, your cheeks flushed, and your lips parted and plumped from his bites earlier.

- Oh, baby... I will, I promise... But you gotta tell me more... Come on, you know you can do it for me... - and those magic words were enough for you to start talking. You could do anything and everything for him...

- I joined the Navy just for you... During my third week in boot camp, I saw you under the shower and it got me so horny that I squirted on the floor. That's when I stole the shirt... I got into the academy because I knew you were sometimes giving guest lectures. The day after I snuck into the... - he chose this moment to thrust into you once, and you couldn't stop the loud moan that escaped your lungs, but even if you could... You didn't want to. - Ronnie, please... - you begged quietly, but he didn't move, clearly letting you know that the more you said, the harder he'll fuck you. - The day after the lecture, I broke into your room and masturbated in your bed... And I stole your boxers. That evening when you were supposed to help with a project - all planned. I started training to be a pilot just so there would be a chance that we'd be stationed together... I left everything and did everything just for you... - the sentences coming out of your mouth weren't exactly coherent, but with your every word, he smiled more and more.

- All that just for little old me...? - he teased, but he released his grip on your hips and gently started moving his hands up your body, so they disappeared under the t-shirt that was one day his.

- Come on, we both know that you're anything but little... - you laughed quietly, still absolutely high on his smell, his taste, the delicious stretch he was a cause of. It was hard to think about anything but him... You leaned back a bit, so the bulge on your abdomen was visible even through the shirt; he couldn't help himself, and put his huge hand over it, which made you moan quietly. You loved how small you were compared to him, and how easily you could accommodate any part of him; it was like you were made for each other.

- So, you're calling me old...? - he continued teasing you, and you couldn't stop the tears coming to your eyes... You weren't sad, or angry... You were frustrated and desperate, and you could do nothing about it...

And you loved every second of it.

- I might start to think you're old if you won’t start fucking me, Ronnie... - you whispered, your voice more air than actual soundwaves... You honestly tried to match his energy, but your mind was starting to slowly check out from the overstimulation and hopelessness, but you just knew it will be worth it.

- Oh baby... - he cooed and licked the tears from your cheeks. - I love it when you're so desperate... - he licked over your closed eyes, squeezing a few more drops from under them, and gently blew on your face, drying all the wetness he left behind. - So perfect... Just for me... My perfect little psycho... - he wrapped his arms around your torso, holding you as close to him as possible. - Mine... - he growled and finally started moving you slowly up and down, as if you weighed nothing in his arms, and considering how much he could actually lift, it shouldn't be surprising.

Your moans were obscene and lewd, and he encouraged you to be even louder, so everyone in the dorms would know that you were his, and you happily obliged, because you no longer cared... You were moaning, screaming, crying mess while he was basically using your body like a toy. You begged him to go faster, stronger, deeper, more... But he was still burying himself in you painfully slow, whispering in your ear that if he knew how patient you could be, he would have used that earlier to drive you even crazier, to get you so drunk on his cock that you'd forgotten how to speak, just like you did now because words weren't important for such a perfectly desperate slut like you... And you couldn't even deny that, because the only thing you could think about right now was his dick moving inside you. You were on the verge of breaking completely, but before you managed to whisper that one magic word that could have changed everything, he laid you back on the bed, gripped your shoulders for leverage, and started pounding into you with his whole strength, and you instantly fell apart under him, but he wasn't done yet. He kept his pace, breaking you into smaller and smaller pieces, until there was nothing left behind your eyes.

Your whole body was twitching and spasming, locked in place in his strong grip, and you were overstimulated to the point of blinding pain, but you didn't tell him to stop even then; you knew you could take more, and more he gave. He used your body for his pleasure, letting your walls constantly milk his cock in a perpetuate state of multiple orgasms washing over your body again and again. Until he screamed so loud, everyone in the building had to hear him, and he slammed his hips against yours with such fervor, that you knew you wouldn't be able to walk straight tomorrow, because your whole midsection would be bruised.

He buried his face in your neck, and even though he collapsed on the bed from the intensity of everything, he still didn't let you go. It took both of you a moment to calm down, with your body occasionally involuntarily twitching from time to time.

- Marry me. - he said and you honestly thought you heard him wrong, so you didn't even bother opening your eyes.

- Hmmm...? - you just hummed, still lost in the aftershocks of pleasure and your nose buried in his hair.

- Marry me. - he repeated after he raised his head, so his words were more eligible now. You didn't answer at first, still processing the words. - I'm serious. I'm yours, you're mine. Why wait? - it was as simple as that.

- Hmmm... - you pretended to think about it - Mrs. Kerner does have a nice ring to it... - you laughed quietly and pulled him into a deeper kiss. He started to pull out of you, and a needy moan escaped your mouth, which made him smirk.

- Well, about the ring... - he said, pulling even further from you, and shifted, so his upper body was hanging off your bed. He reached somewhere deep under it, and you could feel the mattress shifting from below for a short moment, and then he moved back on top of you and presented you with a simple silver band with very intricate carvings of wildflowers etched into it. He knew you hated any type of jewelry with gemstones, and you didn't like wearing anything that might catch on anything, so that meant that he either went looking specifically for something he knew you'd love and just happened to find it or had it custom-made.

- You hid the engagement ring under my bed? - you couldn't help but laugh.

- You like going through my things, Doll, and I didn't want you to find it. - well, he wasn't wrong. Although by this time you were doing that with his full knowledge and permission because what was his - was yours, and what was yours - was his.

- What are you waiting for? Put it on! - you sat up and gave him your hand. Literally and metaphorically.

- I was waiting for a yes. - he took your hand to put a perfectly sized ring on your finger.

- Yes. You won't get rid of me that easy. With or without the ring. - you chuckled, admiring the intricate etchings on the silver band, not that they mattered, but you were curious.

- I think we already established that... - he replied with a devilish and pulled you into a kiss.

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[madmunson]

Run

Eddie Munson x Reader

word count; 13k

disclaimers; illegal activity, running away, unprotected sex, (brief) smut, mental illness talk, and revenge!

author’s note; i wanted to mention that i had started writing this a few days before stranger things volume 2 came out, so the relationship between dustin & eddie isn’t intentional *at first*. although i have my own theories, this isn’t that, it’s a different storyline than the one i plan on doing based on an alternative ending to volume two (inspiration from @eddiemunsonssoulmate). also i am in no way attempting to glorify or romanticize anything i write about, this is just based off of ideas i’ve had!

storyline; fem!reader x eddie munson.

y/n is tired of hawkins, and after getting cheated on by her boyfriend, decides it’s time for revenge.

I fell for your magic

I tasted your skin

And though this is tragic

At least I found the end

...

The wind was carelessly rustling through your hair as the dark denim sky chased behind you, the stars painting figures in the sky like Picasso. You ran through the constellations followed behind you, as did Eddie Munson. You couldn't wait to leave this city, restart with somebody so better than what you've been through. The heart wrenching trauma would forever stay in your past, at least you hoped so.

...

You hated the high school you attended. Like every other teenage girl, you could imagine, but this one was simply devilish. Hawkins had a past, a past full of child torture and fake monsters that supposedly only some people witnessed three years ago, and a dead sheriff. You hated it this way, but there was nothing to be done. You lived in Hawkins your whole life with your only sibling, your brother Dustin. You were on the cheer squad, dated Jason Carver the basketball star with a promising future, and had some of the fakest best friends you could ever meet. But that's life, supposedly. Everybody had always gave you that lecture, the "that's life" spiel. You always seen it as an excuse for people to be okay with feeling miserable, which made you depressed, but you could never show that without your parents flipping out again like they did the time when you were in eighth grade.

"I literally can't do this anymore, you guys don't fucking understand me!" Eighth grade you would shout, pleading with your mom for help.

"Over what? Middle school drama?" It was never middle school drama. You were being physically assaulted there daily, and bullied relentlessly, but your mother never listened to that. Always belittling, was her go-to. You learned young that the world didn't care about your problems.

School started this year, and you couldn't be less excited. Dustin made mentions of some club he was going to, always looking at you as the protective older sister because you were the only one who would listen. He always mentioned Eddie Munson, the kid the school labelled a "freak". You were in a group that always used to bully him. The truth is, you'd known about his crush on you since you were young. The middle school talent show, he performed some song with his band that you couldn't remember the name of to save your life now, but he stared at you the whole time. You had most of the same classes growing up. Always. There was never a moment you and Eddie Munson didn't share. You never gave him the chance. In high school, not only did he get hot, but everything changed. You were always popular, but not this popular. Eddie stuck with his loner friends, but it always put a smile on your face when he would talk about Eddie, especially praising him the way he did.

Dustin was always a smart-ass kid, he had this tone with the way he said things that always made him sound like some cocky old soul, and you always thought that was the funniest thing. The way he told stories, the way he talked about and almost exaggerated things, was so precious to you. You looked at Dustin as a child almost, because it was hard for your mother to listen to (or express, for that matter) literally any single emotion. But regardless, you couldn't help the urges you would get to just leave.

Sometimes in class when teachers were talking, or doing anything besides paying attention to the students, you would find yourself staring outside the window pretending life was different. Pretending you had the same mom as the one that Dustin's friend Will Byers, the kid that went missing a few years back, was your go-to. You imagined your mom wouldn't even notice if you went missing, wouldn't even pay attention to the fact that you were gone. She always cared about Dustin more, as much as she wouldn't admit it. To be even more truthful, you had a lot going on at all times. If it wasn't physically, it was always mentally. Though, you never talked about these things because the world didn't care to listen to people's problems. You struggled with nightmares nightly, struggled with self esteem. You thought being popular was supposed to change that, but it didn't. If anything, it made it worse. It gave you a new mask to wear daily.

The happy-go-lucky cheerleader who was in a happy, committed relationship, had happy, cheerleading friends, and a supportive family to stand by and watch it all, was who you had to pretend to be to every bystander. Or rather, the show you had to put on for everybody every single day. What nobody really knew, was you lived in a three bedroom trailer in the same park as "The Freak". You lived off of one income. All your makeup, and most of your preppy clothes, were stolen. You went most nights without eating. You suffered trauma and a bunch of other mental issues that were untreated and undiagnosed because your mother didn't care enough about anybody other than your brother to pay even the slightest bit of attention to it and it's worsening tendencies. Life was shit. Life would always be shit, because "that's life". Not to be too depressing, though.

Things would only get worse, though. Two weeks into the start of school, you found out Jason was cheating on you with your so-called best friend, Bethany Fischer. It was one thing to cheat on you, but another to cheat on you with somebody who goes by Beth was another. Beth was unbelievably the fakest in your friend group, and it almost surprised you that it didn't happen sooner. However, despite how much you hated Beth, and hated Jason, this still hurt like hell. You would spend the next weeks resorting back to your middle school ways, baggy sweatpants with tighter shirts, and one of your dads old flannels draped over your shoulders. You liked them because they were baggier, almost went down to your knees because of just how tall your dad was. You barely took care of yourself these days, and went from being the most popular kid in school, to the bottom of the food chain. These days, you didn't do much of anything anymore. Dustin always called you depressed, and you'd laugh it off, because you knew how much the world couldn't be bothered to care less.

It worsened your mental state beyond belief, as much as you hated to admit that. You were always listening to sad rock music over your headphones in the hallway. Nothing felt normal anymore.

It was this way for a while. Until you found yourself outside of Eddie Munson's door one night, around three o'clock in the morning as your alarm clock read, after tossing and turning all night. You just wanted him.

...

I witness your madness

You shed light on my sins

And if we share in this sadness

Then where have you been?

...

"Y/N, wake the hell up! We're gonna be late! I cannot show up to the meeting spot late again, Eddie will have my head!" Dustin yells, shaking you awake.

"Okay Dust, calm down, I'll be ready in five."

"I'll be in the car!" He states, pointing at you, "hurry the hell up!"

"On it," you speak, standing up and throwing on the best outfit and makeup you can in the five minutes you had. You begin throwing on your tennis shoes, and placing your hair in a slicked back pony tail. You did the best you could to appear beautiful for the day, despite how you truly felt, and you proceeded to the car.

"Five minutes, my ass! That was like fifteen!" Dustin yelled at you. You laughed it off, before rolling your eyes and then starting the car. He always had the funniest way of saying things, for such a young kid he was the funniest person you knew. He was incredible, and every day you were so proud of him.

"I'm proud of you, Dustin," you spoke. You tried to tell him this as often as you could, because you knew how much you would've wanted to hear it growing up. It helped you discreetly heal your inner child, and helped Dusty because he always knew he had somebody in his corner. Not to mention, you stood up for him any chance you could, too. Nobody in that school was allowed to mess with Dustin, especially not with Eddie and you around. You were the popular kid telling nobody to mess with Dustin or his friends, and Eddie was the kind-of-scary, not-so-nonchalant, will-get-in-your-face freak who scared people away from messing with him or Dustin, or the group. He really took him in, and as much as he would've hated to admit it, he watched over the kids of the group like a hawk. You just knew it, the way Dustin would talk about Eddie.

"Yeah, you too, doesn't excuse me for being late!" He laughs.

"Oh, I know! Won't happen again!" You laugh in response, hugging on him jokingly. You drop him off at the front of the school where you see Eddie already waiting for him. He stares at you, almost infatuated, and you wave to him before parking the car. You enter the school as normal, Beth standing in the front doorways waiting for you.

"Hey bitch!" She says, casually hip bumping you. You hated that shit, she always acted like she was more than you were just because her parents were rich. But she always tried to be your best friend. It was disgusting.

"Hey girl!" You respond, trying to sound as absolutely fake as you could so she would recognize nothing was wrong. Everybody in this school was so easy to fool. You knew nobody would care for the boring details.

"What's been up?" She asks. You were already a week and a half into this school year, and she always acted like something was new. It wasn't ever that. She just wanted dirt on you, and it was obvious.

"You know, the usual. What about you?"

"Baby! Hey!" Jason says excitedly as he approaches you. Great, the jock. You did kind of love him though, as much as you hated to admit it. Nothing felt like you anymore.

"Hey baby," Beth jokes.

"Oh, go away!" You laugh in response, lightly pushing her before kissing Jason. You embraced him in a hug, watching Eddie walk down the hallway. Discreetly, when high school came around, you did develop a crush on Eddie Munson. But you couldn't speak about it, for obvious reasons. Jason began telling you all about his day, and about how he was so excited to start basketball, right in front of your so-called best friend Beth. She didn't leave his side to save her life. You almost found it cute how committed she was, knowing he would never be the same, just based on the fact that he wasn't faithful.

He was the picture perfect boyfriend, aside from the fact that he had been cheating on you. You found out the worst way possible — hearing her moan his name in a bathroom stall next to you while you were skipping class crying. Yeah, just about the worst way to find out your boyfriend had been cheating on you. You were just waiting for the perfect time to confront him. Now had to be the time.

"So Beth, want to tell me why you're screwing my  screwing my boyfriend?" You ask, irritation blinding your vision.

"Uh, what?"

"You know, why you've been screwing my boyfriend. I don't think I stuttered." She rambled trying to make excuses for herself, stuttering as she did so. But it pissed you off so much, you inevitably smacked her across the face. You couldn't contain yourself, your brain was so blinded by rage.

"You're done," you told Jason, "me and you, we are done!" And you stormed off. Eddie Munson just so happened to watch the whole thing.

...

Like you would tell yourself everyday, weeks had gone by and you were still very much in your depressed state. Beth and Jason seemed to be a happy couple, and on occasion, she would shoot you the snobbiest look she could possibly form to her face. You hated it, hated that she could get away with such a thing and still make it out with somebody like Jason. The two of them would find individual people they found attractive, and cheat again. It was only a matter of time before the relationship based on unfaithfulness fell apart. That fact still didn't change how much it broke your heart, though.

You'd suffer nightmares for weeks, struggle with your self image, and all the normal things that came with being cheated on, in addition to the issues you already had. You hated everything, but a lot more, at least ten times more now. Everything was so meaningless.

Now when Dustin would try to wake you up, he'd get a "five more minutes," or a "Dustin, please just let me die," or something dramatic along those lines. You couldn't help it, you were a teenager on top of the things you already had going on.

"Y/N wake up! I can't be late again!"

"I know, Dust, please just give me a second."

"No!" He said, dragging you out of bed. He began throwing clothes at you, some baggy sweatpants and a shirt you've had since middle school, and one of your dad's flannels. He always knew the perfect attire for your current emotional state, at any given moment. The two of you were more like best friends than siblings.

"Fine, fine," you say, getting up. "I'll be out in five. Actually five this time, I don't feel like doing my makeup or anything."

"Y/N, what's wrong?"

"Jason cheated on me."

"That douchebag." He states, but before even giving you time to agree, he starts with a new tangent. "You know my friend Eddie is single. He's had a crush on you forever, he never stops talking about you," you thought that was cute, Eddie was using your little brother as a wingman.

"Oh, that's so cute, are you his little wingman now?" You ask, jokingly picking him up and swinging him. "Good little wingman though. Tell Munson he's on."

"Really?"

"No." You laugh, "nobody wants me like this, come on. Now give me five minutes, I'll be right out."

"I'll be in the car,"

"I bet you will be,"

You rushed to throw on your clothes, and lightly brushed your hair, before putting your sneakers on and heading out the door. Record time: less than five minutes. Dustin actually seemed surprised.

"That was like, four minutes and twenty two seconds! Good one!" He says, giving you a high five with a smile plastered on his face.

"I'm proud of you, Dust." You smile.

"Why do you always say that?"

"Because, it's something I wish I would've heard it when I was your age. Nobody really had time to care about how I felt. But you, Dust, you'll do great things. They'll always listen to how you feel."

"You're not alone, Y/N, you know that right?" He sympathizes with you. In response, you just flash a half smile at him and lightly hug him. He smiles back, and returns to looking out the window.

"Did I tell you about what Eddie said yesterday?" You thought it was so cute, Eddie was like his best friend. He loved him so much, even if he wouldn't admit to it. Neither of them would, just based on the Eddie you knew. Dustin began going on a tirade about probably every ingle joke Eddie has ever said, and you've heard it so many times you were able to recite them with him. You loved seeing him so passionate, especially over somebody that could be his older brother. Dustin always wanted an older brother, too, hence why he was so close with you and now Eddie. It didn't make you jealous or anything like that, if anything, it made you beyond happy.

You would do the same as you did every single morning, wave to Eddie, hug Dustin and park your car. This time was different, as Eddie approached your car.

"Hey sweetheart, everything okay?" He asks.

"What, you stalking me now?" You joke.

"Maybe I am, doesn't mean you're okay. I heard about what happened. My condolences."

"Jesus, nobody died. Just my popularity."

"You always have a place with me, Y/N. Please never forget that."

"I won't, Eddie. Thank you, and same to you. Thank you for taking such good care of Dust." Dustin hated that nickname. One time when you were younger, he slipped and fell in the dirt next to the sandpit at the sandpit. He was so little, he had dust all over him. And in your young mind, Dust just stuck so much better than Dustin. He always told you never to say that around his friends, but you always forgot.

Eddie nods, tapping the door of your car awkwardly before walking away. You realized in this moment that Jason was out of the picture, you could now give all your attention to your high school crush, and he'd take it. It might make things awkward for Dustin, but he wanted you guys together since he met Eddie. Maybe it was time.

You would spend all first period writing a list for revenge, before going on the run. Eddie wouldn't know about your plan to run, until it was too late, but you had hoped he would at least help with the list.

He was the perfect person to help, in addition to all the finer things about him, he was protective and would be the safe haven when you got out of control. That's just who Eddie was as a person. Before the supply run lost, you made a plan.

i. vandalism

This meant you were gonna need spray paint, some gasoline, a few water bottles, a slim jim, and some fish.

ii. breaking and entering (maybe theft?)

Because you know everything about Beth, you know exactly where she'd keep a stash of daddy's money. This would help with step iv. This also would require much supplies, other than all black clothes.

iii. arson

There were a couple people who deserved a last message.

iv. going on the run

A few petty crimes won't follow you as a wanted woman, but it will sure leave one hell of a reputation in the town.

You told yourself you'd leave Eddie to care for him. And Eddie would do an amazing job. You've seen his little pep talk exchanges, and once overheard Eddie telling Dustin never to change, and making him promise. He was an incredible person to leave your baby brother with, the best person you could imagine to give guidance, even if nobody else could give a damn to recognize that Eddie was something other than a monster. The town was cursed, sure, but Eddie would be the perfect person to help him navigate. You didn't have a plan on where to go yet, but figured that would come in when you were on your last adventure with Eddie Munson later. He'd also be the perfect person to help you end that with a bang.

You begin writing your list, and writing him a letter as well. One that he couldn't open until after you were gone.

- spray paint (black, hardest to cover) (Art isle)

- lighter fluid (Grilling isle)

- lighters (By the registers)

- fish (Grocery)

- air horn (Mechanic's isle)

- pen and paper (Stationary isle)

- black hoodies (Men's clothing isle)

- face masks / face paint (Halloween isle)

And just like that, your plan was set. Now all left to do, was get Eddie Munson involved. Which shouldn't be hard, and he was always the reckless type. He wouldn't try to stop you, and for sure wouldn't let you do this alone.

...

I know you're not in love

Like you used to be

Guess I'm not the one

Like you used to think

So you just run

...

It was approximately three o'clock in the morning by now, and you were up all night tossing and turning. Tonight simply had to be the night, for the simple fact that you didn't know how much longer of this you could take before the redundancy and repetition became too much. You were at your breaking point forever, you've always wanted to leave Hawkins, but now was time.

On the envelope addressed to him, all you had written was

"don't open this until after phase iv. ♡y/n"

The letter had much less. It simply started with,

"Eddie, I have always loved you," erased and rewritten at least six thousand times, to the extent that the paper drew raw and was creating holes from the eraser. Maybe that was all he needed to know, maybe he didn't need to know the rest. Only time would tell for you.

Next thing you know, you're hopping out of your window, bag in hand with the little money you stole to start you with, biking to Eddie Munson's trailer. You hoped he was home, or alone, as this would be so awkward if it played out any other way. You couldn't get the image of you biking all the way to his house and he's with some girl or isn't home entirely.

However, this was Eddie Munson. It wasn't like he had much of anything to do on Friday nights, besides be a menace with his friends playing Dungeons and Dragons. But Dust had been home for hours, which lead you to believe their game was either finished or postponed. But you didn't talk much to Dustin before leaving, so you didn't know the full story in its entirety. To be fair, you had no idea this Friday, tonight, at 3am would be go-time, so you didn't exactly get to say what you needed to.

After about five minutes of consistent pedaling, you arrive at his trailer. You Were nervous, your stomach knotted and turned by the second. Before you even knew it, you had already knocked and Eddie was already standing in the doorway.

"To what do I owe the surprise, sweetheart?" He questions, his hand raised slightly over the door frame, holding himself straight. His other hand held the doorknob, holding the barrier open to greet you.

"Remember when you said if I needed you, you were there?" You spoke, without a second thought to process the question.

"Something along those lines, but yes."

"Good, because we might need to do some slightly illegal stuff, can I come in?" You enter before he even has time to respond, and he closes the door behind you, as if it was natural.

"What do you mean we?" He questions. You were sat on his living room couch, staring back at him as he approached you, wearing a cropped top masking his shoulders with his usual jeans, his fingers drenched in rings. He had made a cup of coffee, or something, and was drinking it as he approached you. His demeaner was still calm, as he held his little mug. He was sort of cute this way, just in his natural habitat, not feeling the need to keep up with the standards he was given around him.

"Well you'd never let me do anything dangerous alone,"

"Correct,"

"So, I figured you could come with me!"

"Uh, incorrect."

"What? Why?" You ask, standing up to dramatically flail your arms.

"Because, believe it or not, I'm actually trying to refrain from being a piece of shit like my old man. Trying to save the Munson name, you know?"

"Which I respect. What if I told you, you wouldn't be implemented for these crimes? You would simply be the mastermind."

"The term mastermind definitely turns me on, won't lie." He jokes, "But how would I not be implemented for said crimes?"

They'll only see one person, if that, and with this list, I'll be the only suspect." You flashed the folded composition notebook paper after pulling it out of your flannel pocket. You begin to read him the list, aside from phase four. Instead of stating that, you said you'd hide it out away from Hawkins until the families got over it. These crimes would never be something that lead you to being a wanted woman, they were petty crimes. At most, they'd have a warrant, and if you spoke your name in Hawkins you'd get probation. You didn't mention that part, though. It really was an amazing plan, not to kiss your own ass. You'd drive, you'd lead, he was just the help.

"And if I agree?" He asks.

"What, do you want my throat or something?" You joke. "Who's to say that isn't in the plan?"

"Well, damn," he says, putting his hand behind his head as a matter to show how stunned he was by the comment. You laugh, leading him to awkwardly laugh. He was so cute.

"Still, as enticing as that is, I don't know if I can help. Y/N, I always run away from my problems. You think I'm a lot stronger than I am. Don't get me wrong, the girl I've had a crush on since middle school asking my help and believing I am brave enough to help, is almost incentive enough to do it. But I just-"

"You're scared."

"No, I just-"

"Munson, I wasn't saying it as a bad thing. Everybody gets scared, regardless of how strong or how weak you perceive yourself. Fear is a human emotion. You're okay to admit that, and your feelings are safe with me." He smiles at you, sitting down next to you and putting his arm around you. You appreciated his warmth next to you, it almost made you feel protected. You might've stayed in Hawkins if you had this to save you sooner, but you were too far gone now.

"I appreciate that," he states, "yes, I am scared. Why don't you tell me more about this list?"

You began telling him how the high school drama bullshit shouldn't matter to you, but it did. Everything you thought became second nature to speak to him, he just had that way with people. Eddie was a protector naturally, and his energy spoke so, people were just too arrogant to see it. Including you, for a point in time. You told him that, too, how none of the stolen clothes or shoplifted makeup made you feel whole, and you always felt sad. But nobody cared, because nobody had time to deal with your issues. You always felt like you were wearing a mask, that's why you thought actually putting one on for the night would help mask what you were really going through. He tried to reassure you, but you were too far gone. You stood up, placing your hand out in grasp of his.

"You in or out, Munson? Note, you are important to my plan, but not vital. I can and will do this alone, it will just be so much harder." You stood up like you hadn't trauma-dumped on him, like everything, especially the conversation, had been normal. Like this was something that normal people did, on a normal occasion, at such a normal time. He must've thought that was hilarious, because he belly laughed before grabbing your hand in agreement. The only thing he requested was bringing his "main baby" also known as his guitar, because he wanted to play for you. You agreed, and like that, the both of you were on the move.

The two of you ran out to his van, you getting in the driver's seat. It was rare Eddie let anybody drive his baby, but he always cared for you, and knew you'd take good care of her. You started the van, the engine rolling over before starting. You begin driving to a convivence store just outside of Hawkins, as a means to be practically invisible to the world inside of Hawkins.

The crazy thing is, this had all happened so quickly. One moment, you were plotting leaving, and then the next it was a whole revenge plan somehow looping in Eddie Munson. But he was crazier than you, in all the right places, and he wanted justice for you just as bad as you did. Eddie was much more than the people around you predicted, or cared to imagine. Only the people around him knew just how amazing he was. More people needed this side of Eddie, but nobody was open enough to look for it.

"Do you know what your going to write with the spray paint yet?" He asks.

"Probably 'BACKSTABBING CUNT' or 'FAKE WHORE'. Maybe both." You respond, raising your hands and painting the air with your hand as a way to indicate big, bold letters on a movie screen.

"I really like both," he says, looking over at you with a smile stretched from ear to ear. "I like being here, you know? Even if this plan includes you going after your ex-boyfriend. I want you to know I understand it, and see it as a civil service act, but cops might not feel the same way."

"Well right, hence why I'll hide for a minute, you know? Everybody will think I'm leaving Hawkins, the way it was meant to be. I wrote Dust a letter."

"Did you write me one?"

"Maybe. But that's besides the point now, we're here. You got the list?"

"You know it,"

Eddie was in charge of getting a little over half of the list: spray paint, lighter fluid, lighters, about six packages of fish, water bottles, and an air horn. He also grabbed gloves for safety measures.

You were to get the rest: black hoodies, face masks, a slim jim, and a notebook pad and pen. The list was simple enough, and relatively easy to find in such a massive convenience store. You chose ski masks as the perfect match, and even picked up some white paint to decorate them. You also grabbed chalk for the sidewalks. Eddie seemed pleased with the decision, like a child excited to do arts and crafts, only it might be felonious.

You pick up all your supplies with Eddie beside you.

"Looks like some criminal activity,"

"Arts and crafts. We're art majors on a mission." You reply, rehearsing this line several times before the plan even became to be.

"Mhm, sure. Just don't rat my store out," he jokes. You both awkwardly laugh, watching him bag the supplies. You pay in cash, requesting for no receipt, and the two of you walk out as fast as you could without being inconspicuous.

"Pretty good convincing skills, eh?" You laugh, bags in hand. Eddie playfully tells you to shut up, joining in on your now mutual laughter, while recommending a spot to paint and talk through the plan. This place wasn't in Hawkins, luckily another deserted field on the outside skirts of Indiana. You thought this was an amazing idea, more privacy would be exactly what you needed right now. To discuss the plan and paint, of course.

...

I know that I'm stuck

In this misery

Guess I'm not enough

Like you used to think

So I'll just run

...

The two of you finally stopped at the deserted field, pulling both bags of menacing shit outside of the van before taking coverage of a large rock just outside of the trees. He begins painting your initial on his ski mask, and you paint an E for him. He was really your partner in crime, now. You began painting hearts all over yours, and he painted skulls. This was the perfect way to be spending your night, only it was going to get much more wild as the night went on.

"I like yours'," Eddie states, staring at his initial on your ski mask.

"I figure, true partners in crime right?"

"Forever and always," he spoke. You knew how much it would hurt not only you, but him too, for you to leave. You began dreading it, before shaking off the feeling ultimately. Tonight wasn't about worsening dread, it was about taking it back, which was all you seemed to care for. Truth be told, you were tired of feeling like a doormat to these high school kids. If this was the once chance to make dues, you weren't going to feel bad for it.

You began sitting with your legs crossed, finishing the untitled letters you started, Eddie focusing on his skulls across from you in the same position.

"You know, I like yours' too. Looks sick, and my initial looks so good next to the skulls." You flirt, winking at him as he looked up. It was so cute how he seemed to blush at the mere compliment.

"Oh, shut up," He says, very clearly flattered. "What are you over there writing?"

"Your letter. You can't read it until I'm gone."

"Gone?"

"I meant hiding," You paused.

"Y/N, is there something you're not telling me about this plan? You're safe, right?"

"Yes absolutely, and nothing I'm not telling you. It was just a word mix up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You know I'm always going to try and save you, right?"

"Let's begin phase one." You spoke, ignoring the thought of him trying to save you. If there was any truth to the matter, you'd hoped he could save you. But you almost knew better. Your life wasn't destined in Hawkins like his might've been, like everybody in your life had been. You were tired of the same street signs, and grew abnormally agitated by the same buildings and people. It wasn't fair that just because your mother grew up here, that you had to, and were forced to grow old there. You were generic in the sense that you hated your town, but the opposite in every other sense. That was something Eddie would never get, something nobody would ever get. That's why you had to leave. They were contaminated by this town, you weren't.  

"That wasn't phase one?"

"Merely. It was just the start, fool, let's go!" You grab your mask and the letters, throwing your new notebook in the backpack you brought. You begin rushing off to the van, throwing both your's and Eddie's ski masks in the back to dry. It was time.

You hop in the drivers seat, barely waiting for Eddie to enter before speeding off back to Hawkins. This time, the car ride was silent. Eddie seemed hurt by something, which weighed on you horribly. You regretted speaking about the plan further, and maybe regretted looping him into this. The only thing you could think about was Eddie telling Dust that he tried so hard to save you, and imagining Dust's whole world fall apart. First his dad, who he doesn't even remember, and now his sister. It shattered your heart, but you couldn't allow yourself to be in charge of how anybody felt anymore.

"What's up, Eddie?" You ask him, looking over at him briefly.

"I don't know what's going on after this. Is this the last time I'm gonna see you?" He stares at you, his eyes digging a hole with bare fingernails into your heart. It absolutely broke you to hear him ask that, because what he didn't know, is it was. It absolutely was, and it had to be. No amount of begging, or pleading, could ever change that now. You kept repeating the simple fact to yourself, that you were too far gone.

"No." You lied, "absolutely not. I promise. I'm just gonna be away until they get over this, that's all."

"And do what? Live as a fugitive?"

"I guess so."

"It's not too late to turn back,"

"Stop doing that. Stop talking to me like I'm a kid and can't make my own decisions. They've taken so much from me, I'm so tired of people taking shit from me."

"I know Y/N, I know you are. But that's what I'm here for-"

"Eddie, please! I promise, everything is going to be okay."

"That's not going to prevent the worry, but I believe you. Please don't break that promise."

"I won't." The pain was unbearable as you spoke these words. You didn't want to lie. That was the last thing you wanted to do. But you did what you always did, for yourself in too deep.

Without further ado, you were at Beth's house, putting on some gloves. Another perk about unfortunately knowing Beth was knowing her family's sleep schedule. This would be the absolute perfect time, because they were all asleep. The two of you pulled out your ski masks, going on either side of the house with two cans of spray paint in each hand. You begin getting anywhere you can, spraying the door, to spraying the house lining, then making your way to the sidewalk. You wrote various cusses, things that wrote, "BACKSTABBING CUNT", "CHEATING WHORE", "FAKE BITCH" and more. Eddie had classier ideas, writing things like "you're an awful person!" it was cute how he was so clueless.

After finishing your masterpiece, you grab a slim jim and unlock her car door. Luckily, nothing went off. You had been breaking into cars for a long time, which was an awful image but you just came from that background. You were taught young to fend for yourself, and you just did it differently.

With the now empty water bottles, about five or six of them or so, you wrote on the grass with lighter fluid. The F leading into the U, C and K pairing so perfectly, Y-O-U! spelled adjacent to the previous letters.

Almost last in the plan, was to go ahead with phase two, too. You were already here, they were already asleep, and it would be the perfect finisher. Besides, their house had been broken into many times when the two of you were friends, nothing ever changed that. But there were never any leads, always just some random person, and barely ever any reports. When you have too much money, you don't notice when it goes missing. It always surprised you that Beth lived in Hawkins, and not somewhere with more money, it was like her family thought they were doing some sort of fucked up charity work.

"Hey, keep watch," you whisper to Eddie.

"What? Why?"

"Phase two,"

Oh, my god, Y/N wait-"

But before he could say anything further, you were climbing into her kitchen window. You knew exactly where she kept the money her father would have given her, but everybody did. Everybody that knew her used her as a piggy bank, which is sad, but she almost deserved it after the hell she had put you through. Any other person, you might've felt bad for. But Beth Fischer can rot in hell. Besides, you'd need the money for phase four.

You tried to be as stealth and sneaky as you could, stepping to her room. She kept a wad of cash in her vanity drawer, you just had to get to that. They didn't have a dog, or any animals of any sort, and Beth was the only child. They basically made this house the go-to criminal's safe haven. It was predictable, not much to get caught over or discovered for. And this happened often, it even happened when you slept over. Through the night, the whole place was ransacked, right underneath your noses. Again, no reports, no leads, no nothing. The family didn't even care, and were just happy to make it out with their lives, including you. That was just another traumatizing day in your life though, sometimes you almost felt for Beth.

You crept through the hallways and made it to her bedroom, then carefully opened her vanity, before pulling out the exact wad of cash you were talking about and closing the drawer for good. You pocketed the cash, and quickly made it out of her house. Now it was time for the finishing act. You hopped out of the same kitchen window, rushing to Eddie in the yard.

"Didn't think I was gonna use your time for free, right?" You smirk, pulling out the wad.

"Jesus, Y/N! Why would you do that? Why was that in the plan? Why-"

"Quit freaking out, Eddie, we're good. This happens like every week for them."

"Doesn't make it right,"

"Sure, it doesn't, but phase four remember? I need to successfully hide out. How do you suppose I do that poor?"

"I guess I get it. Just feels shitty."

Finally, you begin placing the fish everywhere in her car, under her seats, in her glove box, under the back seats, behind the mirrors of the car, anywhere that there was minimal visibility but the scent would linger. You left a letter in her glovebox next to one of the fish that wrote, "fuck somebody else's boyfriend!". After the fact, you were finally done with phase one. The only thing left to do, was to allow them to wake up to Eddie and yourself's artwork. Last step was the blow horn. Eddie so gracefully handed it to you after kissing the hand he placed it in, speaking a quick, "kill 'em babe".

"Wait do you actually feel bad for her?" You ask, finally realizing the gravity of exactly what Eddie spoke prior to placing the fish in the car.

"Really, Y/N? Now?" He asks, clearly exaggerating his mental strength to handle the situation at hand.

"Oh, whatever,"

You blow the horn as loud as possible, for approximately two seconds, two being the number of weeks it took to find out Jason cheated on you. As you blew the horn, that was Eddie's que to light. The two of you took everything that could be considered evidence and threw it in the fire that wrote "FUCK YOU!" to further the alibi. The plan played out perfectly as he did just so, the lights in the house turning on as the grass caught.

Next thing you knew, the wind was carelessly rustling through your hair as the dark denim sky chased behind you, the stars painting figures in the sky like Picasso. You ran through the constellations followed behind you, as did Eddie Munson. You couldn't wait to leave this city, restart with somebody so better than what you've been through. The heart wrenching trauma would forever stay in your past, at least you hoped so. Houses passed houses, turning into blocks before you would even come close to your designated spot. Nonetheless, the two of you sped off as fast as you could to your next destination: the getaway car.

The two of you have never hopped in a car faster, parking the van a few blocks away seemed like a good idea in hindsight but definitely not in the long run.

"I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack," Eddie breathlessly pants.

"How's that for running away from your problems, Munson?"

"Fucking christ!" He was erratic, practically foaming at the mouth with adrenaline. You laughed with him, speeding as fast as you could away from the scene. In between this plan and the next, you needed to stop at Eddie's house. Beth's parents would've for sure reported it, causing you to be the prime suspect. But if the cops caught you at Eddie's house, maybe banging him, it would be less suspicious and you both would have an alibi. You threw the rest of the things in a trash can by her house, so that was one less thing to worry about. And because the two of you handled it with gloves, thanks to Eddie, there was no trace of evidence.

"Phase one done, now it's time for phase two part two, we're going back to your house and fucking."

"WOAH, what?" He yells, completely taken back, "at least take me to dinner first!"

"Oh, you weren't pleased with the grill that just took place on Beth's front lawn?"

"You know talking about the crime kind of indicates you were involved,"

"Yeah, no shit! That's why I'm saying it to you, and not the cops, hence why we need to be at your place having sex. Like right now."

"Sweetheart, I'm not complaining. I'm just confused."

"Babe. Alibis."

"Right."

"Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Not a clue."

...

Finally, you got through to Eddie, for maybe explaining it for five minutes into more detail.

"On another note, you know how bad I've wanted you?" He asks abruptly.

"Woah, did you even think about that one before you said it?"

"No. And I don't need to. Listen beautiful, I'll take any opportunity to be alone with you. I'm glad you were feeling felonious tonight." He joked.

"I've wanted you for a long time too, you know. Jason was a coverup, Eddie, I hate to say it but I can't stop looking at you."

"Hate to say it huh?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Or what?"

"I guess I'll have to make you."

Before you could even enter the doorway, you found yourself fiddling with his belt with your tongue colliding with his. The two of you were making out long before you hit the door. You could taste on his lips that he wanted it for a long time, and it made him taste so much stronger. The desperation, ability to be vulnerable, it all turned you on so much more. He was good with his actions when kissing you, taking care of your lips just as much as clashing your tongues in between kisses. He felt so mysterious, the musk made you ache for him stronger. He began kissing behind your ears, and down your neck before setting you on his kitchen table.

He proceeded to grind against you as he kissed down to your collarbones, leaving you a moaning mess. You beg for him without a second thought, praising him as he kissed and sucked upon all your sweetest spots, leaving little purple and yellow marks as he pleased. You enjoyed it, trying to savor every breathless moment.

He was standing above you, and took off your shirt before a word slipped from his mouth. He began kissing on your chest now, taking your bra off with only his left hand. Holding one of your breasts, he begins kissing and sucking on the other.

"Please, Eddie," you begged for him to continue, and he starts to pull at your waist band, before eventually taking them off with one swift motion. He draws patterns over the barrier covering your core, feeling your wetness on the tip of his fingertips. You could see his rings moving as he did so, like he was painting a canvass. He was ruining you in the best ways possible. You moan for him, fire invading your lungs as you let out every last breath of oxygen you could in a matter of seconds.

"Remember when you told me to shut up? You said you'd have to make me, right?" He growled.

"Oh, did I?"

"Absolutely, princess. And I think I found the best way to make me," he continued. He pushes you further back on the table, and you lay back for him as he gets down on his knees for you. He begins placing kisses over your panties, leaving you a shivering wreck. Finally, he takes them off and flings them to the other side of the room, not that you could necessarily care to keep track of your clothes.

He begins painting circles over your clit with his tongue, putting his mouth over your core as he kissed. He put his jaw into it, taking control over your entire center as he did so. You intertwined your fingers into his curly mane, twisting and locking your fingers as he went faster. The aches built up strongly, consuming your whole body before traveling up to the very top of your mind. You were so close, you could feel it in the heels of your feet.

"You feel so good," you whined, grabbing every strand of hair you could as he sped up. You withered and twitched above him, not being able to contain yourself for much longer.

"Baby please, I'm so close," you cried out, shivering and shaking as he continued.

"Good," he mumbled, "Do it, princess."

You finish with one final moan loud enough to smack against the walls of the trailer, before seeping into the drywall as you finished for him. You had never experienced that before.

"You're not done," he growled, kneeling up a little. He places his fingers at your entrance, rubbing over your center before slowly entering. He began slowly curling his fingers, causing you to moan louder than you had before.

"Holy fuck," you whimper. He continues, picking up his speed as he does so, but ever so slightly as to not get you off so easily.

"Good girl," he spoke, raspiness attacking his vocal chords. He was a protector, but dominant, and you adored that in him. You could feel the pit burning in your center again, before traveling up to the tops of your shoulders. You begged for him, but he didn't listen. He slowed down, if anything, edging you beyond control.

"When you show you deserve it, I'll go faster."

"I'm yours," you purr, he goes faster to the response. You could tell he was infatuated with hearing you say that, especially in this light. You continue, begging him as you do so.

"Please Eddie, I'm yours," you begged. You proceed to plead with him, pressure building up as he continued. You continued to moan as loud as you pleased, your ears ringing with the motions. After a short moment, it was beyond containable. You could no longer stop begging him for more, and telling him just how much control he had over you. You could feel your body smacking against the table as he sped up at such a rate you physically couldn't control the spasms.

"I'm gonna finish," you moaned, and he proceeded to go faster, causing you to finish in an instant. Your legs were no longer in control, shaking as you sat up for him. He placed himself at your entrance after unbuckling his pants, pulling you forward as he aligned himself.

"Hawkins Police, open up!"

"Are you fucking kidding," he groans, "one second! Kind of got my cock out!"

"Yeah we heard, Eddie." The cop replies. You let out a laugh of pure embarrassment, but also success because the alibi phase was now set up perfectly. Eddie puts his pants and boxers back on, and you struggle to find your clothes, grabbing a spare Hellfire Club tshirt and boxers you found lying around. After everything is good, Eddie opens the door and welcomes the two cops inside.

"Officer Garcia and Officer Peterson, nice to meet the two of you." The cop on the left says, pointing at himself and then the officer next to him. "Bethany Fischer was attacked tonight. We wanted to ask you a few questions?" As if you had much of any other choice without incriminating yourself. Also, attacked? Hardly.

"Of course, she okay?"

"Yeah, it was more-so a personal attack," the cop sighs, checking his watch before continuing the conversation. He appeared tired already, which as were you dealing with Beth and her family.

"You're friends with Bethany Fischer, right Y/N Y/L/N?" Officer Peterson asks.

"I mean, was friends with her. She kind of dropped me after me and Jason broke up, and especially after I started seeing this guy." You smile, biting your lip as you cling onto him.

"Right. Have you guys been together all night?" Garcia states, taking a notepad out of his pocket.

"Yeah, we have," you respond. "Date night."

"Do you have any knowledge as to why anybody would want to mess with her or hurt her in any way?" He asks. You knew one good reason.

"Beth had a lot of enemies, a lot of girls in that school hate her guts, call her fake. You know, usual high school drama. I don't know though, I don't hang around that group anymore. I'm sorry, I wish I could be more help."

"Don't be. We'll get to the bottom of this. For right now, you guys just stay safe, and quiet it down. I'd hate to be back here for a noise complaint." He states, putting his notepad back in his pocket before exiting with his fellow officer. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too. Good luck!"

"Yeah, thanks. Just a shit ton of extra paperwork." And with that, they were gone. The two of you waited for the lights to leave before jumping with excitement. Phase one and two were officially complete. Eddie was really coming around to the idea of being the mastermind to your plan, and it made you happy to see him like that.

...

You bathe in your victory

You blew out on my fuse

And if I took on the planet

Will I pay my dues?

...

You were anxious to start phase three. You still weren't entirely sure about the idea of phase four. Every route you would take would lead to disaster to somebody: you could either stay in Hawkins and keep destroying yourself, or leave and destroy those around you. There was no way around the disaster to some degree or another. But if you were being completely and utterly honest with yourself, part of you hoped there was a way out before phase four. You thought about the possibility of maybe staying for questioning, keeping this between you and Eddie because there was absolutely no evidence besides motive. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized there was no other way around this now, you were in too deep. You had always wanted to run, but after the night you had with Eddie, you almost wondered if it was worth it. Leaving everything behind and running couldn't be the only answer, unless you ran with him.

"Change of plans," You state, sitting next to Eddie on the couch, "I want to run with you,"

"Then let's go on a run." Eddie jokes. But now wasn't the time for jokes.

"You know what I mean," you said, "I meant for when I run. Or hide. I want you to hide with me,"

"Have you thought about what Dustin would think?"

"Why do I have to spend all my life worrying about what other people think? Why do people just live everyday willingly miserable because 'that's life'? I want to live for myself, Eddie."

"You were never just going to just hide were you?"

"What are you talking about? I told you, of course I was-" You were cut off by Eddie, as he started moving closer to you.

"You were never going to just go into hiding. You were going to ditch this place, these people. Hell, I can't say I'm mad at you or that I don't understand it, because believe it or not I do, but why?"

"Because, like I said, I'm tired of letting misery win because of some labyrinth everybody else is caught in. I'm gonna go be me, Eddie. You should come. You said so yourself, you understand it. What do you have here? In Hawkins?"

"Responsibilities, Y/N. People need me. They need you!"

"Yeah, the town that hates you."

"That's beside the point!" He stands up, stepping back. "That is absolutely beside the point. I understand what you're going through, and I'm here for you, but I can't let you leave."

"Either you come with me, or I'm going alone, I kind of decided this a long time ago Munson. You don't just get to come back into my life and act like you know me!"

"You came into my life!"

His comment infuriated you. It made you feel like another waste of space to him, like you meant nothing to him. You attempt to get up and walk outside, but he grabs your wrist.

"Please, don't go." His dark chestnut eyes pleaded with you, he looked like he could cry.

"It's too late," You say, looking away from his eyes.

"Then I'm coming with."

"Are you sure?" You ask, stepping back.

"Yes. Absolutely positive. I can't lose you again." He says, embracing you into a hug. You could feel how much he loved you in his grasp, he never needed to speak it.

"I don't know, Munson. Are you sure?"

"Yes. I promise. Just please, don't leave me, okay? That's all I ask. Well and one more request,"

"That is?"

"I want my letter you wrote to me read. If you're not leaving me, it shouldn't be that hard, right?"

"Valid point. Fine. Thank you for actually staying by my side."

"No, thank you. Come on, let's sit on the couch."

You sat across from him on the couch, and took out the letter you wrote to him. He did have a point, but you had two versions of letters. You would decide which to read to him in the long run, or so you thought, because now was that opportunity to choose. The truth is, you had two variations out of fear of how the night might've played out. One version was for him if he didn't join along, the other was if he did. Both said somewhat the same things though.

You chose the letter that included him helping, just to make it make more sense when reading it aloud. You begin unfolding it, as he watches your movements intensely, almost as if he's afraid you'd vanish into thin air right in front of him. Eddie had a hard time being vulnerable, and everybody knew that. You thought that might've been why he was picked on so much, he was so carelessly himself that it made people uncomfortable. Rightfully so, you'd tell yourself, because Eddie was everything good in the world. He was unique, had his own sense of himself, and people would refuse to see that often. He defined the good parts of Hawkins, the ones that made you feel at home, the ones that made you second guess leaving to begin with.

"The letter says,

Eddie,

I want to thank you for everything you've done, and apologize for my lack of seeing it. You're incredible, Eddie, and I know you'll always stay true to yourself to the end. I don't even need to tell you that. I'd say 'never change', but I know you won't. In the best ways possible, of course. The truth is, I've had a crush on you since freshman year. I was so grossly obsessed with being popular that it consumed me, and I didn't notice what was in front of me. That's my guilt, my regret. Eddie Munson, I love you. Apart of me thinks I always have, but was too scared to admit it. You are the definition of what made this place home for so long. And if I'm being honest, it's hard to leave knowing you're here. You're so uniquely you, that's why these people are afraid of you. You are the definition of everything good in this world, Munson. They fear you because you don't show fear, and don't show vulnerability. They will never understand just how incredible you are, and they don't need to. I want you to always remember that. I want you to always stay true to yourself, even after I'm gone. Please, take care of Dustin, he looks at you like a big brother. The big brother the world unfortunately couldn't have given him, and if it would've, maybe things would be different now. Remind him never to change, too, you both are rare in this cruel town, hidden gold. You're the hero in this story, in every story, they'll see that one day. I'm so proud of you.'

Signed, Y/N."

"You mean that?" He asks, tears in his eyes. You were unable to get another word a out before he was holding you, crying as you wrapped your arms around him.

"Eddie, are you okay?" You ask, as if the answer wasn't obvious.

"Nobody has ever said that to me. Any of that. I always thought nobody would care if I died." He speaks, still forming a puddle made of tears on your shoulder. You held him tighter, telling him just how proud you were of him. The same way the world didn't care about your problems, it seemed it didn't care about his either, and for once you didn't feel completely alone. He made you feel at home, and safe.

"You make me feel like I'm at home." You spoke, still holding him, "not a house, not four walls, but truly home. The world never cared about my emotions, and they didn't for your's either. You're the first person that makes me feel listened to, and I intend to be the same for you."

"Y/N, I love you,"

"I love you Eddie,"

The two of you sat like that for a moment. You imagined running away with him forever, and how that would look. You imagined the two of you maybe buying an RV, living in it as you travel. You imagined the glorious days, rather than what it would become to be before you were even able to catch it in nearly enough time.

He looks up at you, eyes puffy from crying. For a moment, the world stops, and it's only the two of you simply gazing into each other's eyes. Clouds came to a halt, time proceeded to yield, and everything around you was in slow motion. You really did love him, even if that was a harder fact to admit. But he was the same as you, another version of you, and it was no longer deniable how much so. Finally, he breaks the silence, placing his right hand on your cheek and pulling you into a kiss. He pulls away, and you look at him with a smile. He smiles back, going back into the kiss.

You climb on top of him, straddling his hips as you do so, and continue kissing. Your tongues clash and intertwine in between pecks, creating an intense passion movie writers couldn't even begin to try and think about writing.

"I love you Eddie," you say between kisses, "and I'm so proud of you,"

He flips you over, holding himself on top of you while he attacks your lips. He uses his right hand over your breast, gripping as he chooses. He begins kissing down your neck, holding you by the small of your back as he does so. He takes the tip of his index finger and slides it along the bottom hem of your t-shirt, before taking it off in one swift motion. Next thing you know, he was kissing down your chest, and unclasping your bra with the fingertips held together by his right hand. He managed to do so successfully, bringing shock to your face once more. You could feel yourself turning into a puddle, the mess in between your legs increasing as he grinder against you. You could feel every inch of him over you, his massive bulge poking your center as he did so. He begins leaving little marks with his mouth down your neck, and to your chest, before taking off your bottoms and underwear in between. Finally, getting tired of the layers in between, he also takes off his clothes.

He placed himself at your entrance once more, before slowly sliding in. He begins making out with you, the tip of him feeling like it was touching the inside of your stomach. You felt like you were losing your mind, feeling nothing but fire in the right places as he sped up ever so slightly. You roll your eyes back, and start moaning for him.

"Fuck, Eddie," you moan loud enough to make the neighboring cities wake up. He smiles as you do this, picking up his pace and making you beg for him. He takes his thumb, licks it, and begins drawing circles over your clit with said thumb. He smiles at you, causing you to get chills immediately down your spine.

"How does that feel?" he asks.

"Absolutely incredible," you moan breathlessly, trying to focus on your lungs as your eyes slam closed from intense pleasure. He laughs to himself watching you.

"You're so goddamn beautiful," he states, once more picking up his pace. The same feeling he once brought you was back again, but this time increased by what felt like an infinite amount. You could feel your stomach turning, your insides on fire so passionately you could practically feel it radiating on the outside, and the world became heavier.

"Eddie, I'm close," you almost scream, finishing before he was even able to give you permission to do so. At the same time, you felt him throbbing and twitching every which way, indicating that he himself finished as well. You felt his warm load inside of your walls, writing his name on the center of your core. You lay breathless for a while, your lungs trying to catch up to what he just put you through. It was a quick interaction, but immediately became everything you could ever love and more. Nobody ever made you feel like that, not Jason, and not anybody before him.

"That was fucking amazing, Y/N," he says dorky. It was so cute how pure he felt, he said everything on his mind and more, and was just so silly and uniquely him in the process. That was your favorite thing about him. He didn't care about what other people thought the way you once did, he didn't care to change what he said or how he said it in hopes of achieving popularity the way you once did. He was so unapologetically, and unafraid to be, so effortlessly uniquely him, it inspired you. You never noticed the amount of happiness you'd get from waving to him every morning, until now. Or the happiness you'd get hearing Dust gush about him, until now. Or even more, the complete and utter infatuation you'd feel when glancing over at him during lunch as he sat with the Hellfire Club. He did some crazy shit, like climbing on tables and jumping out at kids, but that made him who he was.

"It absolutely was, and you needed that after the cockblock those officers put you through." you agree, completely lost in thought as you silently admired him. He smiles at you, and kisses your head.

"Onto phase three, huh?" He asks, sitting up and helping you regain your balance as he does so. The two of you begin talking about the plan to recreate small fires all over town, with two specific locations in mind: Jason's and Hawkins High. You might come up with an idea for other places in the meantime, but for now, this was the proper place to start.

You begin loading his van with supplies he already had, gasoline and lighters, plus some gardening gloves, and continue with the plan. The plan was none other than to recklessly and dangerously commit arson, without a trace of evidence or anything to incriminate either of you. This was fairly easy, given Eddie was always protected with supplies like he lived in a murder house or something, and you had thought about this for maybe one hour and acted completely on whim. You made the generic comedy criminals, and you loved that. You were always a hopeless romantic.

The two of you hop in his van without speaking another word, and set the route to Jason's house. You park the van a few blocks away once more, and begin heading to his house on foot. The sky was still dark, and would be for an hour or so, which meant the timing was absolutely perfect. At Jason Carver's house, the lights are all off, not a sign of life to be seen within the windows or behind any closed doors. However, by now, it was almost 5am, people would be awake shortly and that could possibly make for more witnesses unintentionally. As much as you wanted to take advantage of the dark skies above you, you knew the quicker, the better with this final act. Not getting caught was the key ingredient to your whole plan to begin with, even before you decided Eddie would join you in running from the law.

You head over to his front lawn, and begin pouring lighter fluid on the grass once more. This time, it was nothing in specific, it was just small fires sprinkled across his front lawn. They'd be controllable, for the most part as one person cannot contain several small fires. Luckily, there was a church and Hawkins High right on the same road. The two of you made a run for it, running as fast as you could to the next spot. Eddie would take the church, you would take Hawkins High, and the rest of the plan included meeting at the van in exactly seven minutes, not a minute under or over. You began sprinting as fast as you could to Hawkins, making it in a shocking four minutes. You hurry as you light the small fires, and make a run for the getaway van for the next three.

"Hey! Stop!" You hear from behind you, just as you were about to give up. The voice behind you was heavily masculine, and sounded terrifying. You shifted control to your brain, and let your muscle memory take over the speed of your runs. You cut through trees, through bushes, jumped fences, anything you could. You tore your knee on a fence a block ago, and kept going. You were hellbent, and extremely dedicated.

At the van Eddie would already be, as you yelled to him, "Go! Go! Go!" The stakes were incredibly high, because whoever this was simply had to be authority of some sort. If they seen the van, the two of you were screwed. Luckily, nobody proceeded the chase, and this would mean you and Eddie Munson were once again in the safe zone. You told him about the letter to Dustin, and suggest you drop it off in the mailbox guarding your now old house. Between Eddie and yourself, you had four thousand dollars from the nights' collection, and this meant endless possibilities for where the two of you could stay.

...

Your love was a mystery

Yeah my love is a fool

And I traveled the country

Just to get to you

...

"Honeymoon suite, Indianapolis!" The two of you agreed, taking three hundred away from your existing budget. This meant the two of you would get to continue having fun, even after the party was considered over. Any time spent with Eddie meant passion struck the air so strongly it could collide worlds, he was the best at making your toes curl.

"Hey! Honeymoon suite for two," you say, pulling out a hundred extra dollars for the clerk up front. Finally, you had got far away from Hawkins. The whole drive was spent laughing maniacally with your favorite arm candy, making jokes about the criminal activity you partook in, and overall just having the time of your lives.

"Deal. Honeymoon suite for two, here you go. Enjoy love birds," He says, going right back to his Playboy on the countertops. Though this struck you as rather strange, especially if he willingly took the job of cleaning the bedsheets, but you were too caught enjoying and living in the high of finishing your final plan. You were finally away from Hawkins. Nothing else mattered to you now, besides Eddie. This was the way it was always meant to be.

Before you could even enter the doorway, articles of clothing were coming off at drastic rates. He began attacking your lips, and tongue in between small breaks from your lips. He was so good at holding you in place as he took control of you, it made you melt every single time. By now, your pants were already to the ground, as well as your shirt, and him matching. The two of you were half naked, trying to manage locking the door before continuing but barely getting by doing so.

He began kissing down your neck, and eventually collarbones, leaving little love bites and bruises wherever he deemed fit. He traced over the aches with his tongue, like a fresh paintbrush dipped in acrylic paint before creating a portrait. He pinned you against the wall, one hand directly over you and the other attached to the small of your back, traveling upwards as he pleased. Without a second thought, he manages to strip you of your bra, tossing it on the floor with one swift motion. He continues, kissing down your breasts and eventually your chest, before making it down to your underwear.

"May I?" He questions, tracing the waist band of your underwear with his ringed fingertips. You nod frantically, and he takes them off, placing his finger over your center.

"Use your words," he demands.

"Yes please,"

With the magic words, he begins slowly entering you with his fingers, bending down and sitting placed on his knees as he fingered you. He starts off slow, curling his fingers while he's inside, as a means to not miss any single one of your sweetest spots. He proceeds, licking your clit as he twirls his fingers inside of you while his thumb is lightly playing with the same clit he had his tongue plastered upon. He loved to edge you, putting his jaw into his mouth movements as he continued to finger you.

"Eddie, faster fuck!" You moan, oblivious to the surrounding neighbors.

"How does it feel, sweetheart?" He asks. You proceed to tell him just how amazing he was, just how much you were his, and all the sweet dirty things he wanted to hear. He smirks at you, going faster as a response.

"I'm yours' Eddie, please, faster-" You moan, and he listens. You finish before even becoming aware of doing so, legs shaking and spasms as you do.

"Good girl," he spits.

He lines himself up with your entrance, pushing your head back as he places a finger over your tongue. He loved the sight of you, and admitted so, as the luminating lights shine over your nude body. He was so comfortable around you, and it showed by the way he took care of you.

"You are so beautiful," he says, examining your body. His eyes lit up as he glances over your hips, down to your ankles.

"Thank you baby," you purred, arching your back for him. He took this as a hint, entering inside you and bringing back that very familiar sense of ecstasy. You let out a sharp moan, piercing the walls around you as you do so. He continues, picking up his speed skillfully as he thrusts, hitting every single one of your weakest spots. You practically go limp underneath him, your whole body unsuccessfully overcoming the urge to melt. You moan his name and cuss sweet profanities beneath his touch, and he'd paint your wings. 

"Please Eddie, faster!" You beg, and he listens, picking up his pace with every upward thrust. You feel yourself crumbling, about to expose yourself as you finish for him.

"I'm gonna finish," You warn him, and he slows down as he pleases to edge you.

"Finish when I say, princess,"

"Please Eddie, I can't hold it anymore,"

"You'll have to for me," he demands. You nod frantically in response, your legs twitching as you do your best to hold yourself back. Your body shook so violently it felt as though it would become unattached. You try to keep your composure, taking steps to breathe as he proceeds to pick up his pace while thrusting. You felt as though one more thrust in the right spot, you'd be done for. 

"Finish for me sweetheart," he growls, finally allowing you to finish. The heavenly feeling all comes rushing back, your legs collapsing as you finish for him. You begin to start whimpering as your body starts spasming beneath him. He smiles at the sight, wiping sweat off of his bangs that stuck to his forehead as he does so. He slows down to help you come down, but as soon as he's given the signal to continue, he does, finishing shortly after you.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He moans as his cock throbs inside you, shooting himself inside you. He falls next to you, and pulls you closer to him. 

"I don't know where you get your experience from, but you're incredible." You softly chuckle. 

"Oh, don't you know? From every other girl!" He jokes, knowing you're probably, at the very least, one of the first few. You laugh with him, remembering how good it felt to laugh. He brought out the better side of you, despite the running from the law and Hawkins, and despite the shit show you voluntarily entered together. He loved you, and made sure you knew it. 

"I love you," he purrs, pulling you closer.

"I love you, more, Munson." You reply, standing up to grab your clothes. 

If you were being entirely honest with yourself, something about this still felt very off. You wanted to believe that running with him was the answer, and was the way things were meant to be, but it still felt like he was trying to save you for some reason. You couldn’t even begin to think about where exactly to pinpoint your feelings, but you knew how off things felt.

“Should we stay here overnight? Or like leave before morning? I feel like if we’re trying to go on the run, maybe the best plan is to not be in one place too long. I was thinking we make it to California!” You suggest. You didn’t want to sound like every other gullible teenager with high hopes, but you loved to write music. Eddie of course took his guitar everywhere. You’d be the best match for each other, and the world’s most perfect duo with a background. You couldn’t help but get that image out of your mind.

“Why can’t we do both,” he says, “we can stay the night, but leave before morning?”

“Okay,” you smile, sitting on his lap. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, staring at his lips as you do so.

“You know, I’ve seen you staring at my guitar. You play?”

“I sing,”

“Oh, you do? Looks like we make the perfect duo!”

“You know, I was just thinking the same thing,” you banter with a flutter of your eyes.

He stands up, putting on his clothes and walking over to the spot where he draped his guitar. He picked the beauty up, before walking back over to you. He sits on the bed, pulling you onto his lap with one hand and holding the guitar with the other. He puts the guitar in front of you before speaking, “watch me,”.

He begins playing Fade to Black by Metallica, which wasn’t really a love song rather a depressing one, but it just so happened to be one of your favorite songs. You had no idea if he knew that or not, but the smile on his face as he held you and strummed was enough to suggest he might’ve.

His ringed fingers scattered across the strings as he played, making sure to never miss an Am note, or a C note. He was so delicate as he performed for you, and gentle as he held you as well.

You begin to sing, pouring your heart out onto your vocal chords as you did so. He stared with awe, watching you sing as he strummed. His face lit up with amazement and shock as you completely surprised him.

He continued to play, as you proceeded to sing, and the two of you were nothing shy of in love. This is exactly what you envisioned for the both of you.

Things not what they used to be

Missing one inside of me

Deathly loss, this can't be real

I cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me

To the point of agony

Growing darkness, taking dawn

I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me

Can save myself

But it's too late

Now I can't think

Think why I should even try

After the song is finished, he places his guitar back to the spot he had it draped over, and stood you on your feet. He places his hand on the small of your back, spinning you before catching you in his arms.

“You were amazing, beautiful.” He speaks to you with infatuation clinging to his vocal chords.

“As were you, my love,” you kiss his cheek, and he begins attacking your lips playfully.

The two of you spent hours awake together, laughing and telling stories of the times that you missed out on while not together. You told him stories about Dustin, and his eyes would light up. He very obviously did care for Dustin, and you could tell the love weighed heavily in his heart

[dollriki]

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH ⠀⠀MURDER (amongst other things)

masterlist playlist next

— CH 3. Killer Shangri-lah

WARNINGS 🩸 literal murder, lots of blood, nothing too specific, slight abuse(?)

Riki had never had a girlfriend before.

It wasn't exactly his main agenda when it came to his high school life. His grandmother busied him with school work and clubs in and out of school so he honestly had little to no time to worry about any of that. And he'd never seen anyone he'd found particularly interesting. He guessed he had one or two crushes throughout his life but nothing he couldn't forget. If he was being honest, the whole love thing made no sense to him unless it was someone you truly wanted to spend your entire life with. People who threw the word around recklessly like it had no meaning made him frustrated.

Riki wasn't an angry person. Sure, things upset him and made him mad when they were especially agitating but he usually kept his feelings to himself. The only person he could really think of that made him so infuriated was his grandma, and she was a fucking wack job of a person.

But when you'd told him about your ex boyfriend on the walk home from the ice cream shop, Riki had never felt his skin buzz with so much hatred. He didn't show it, obviously. He didn't want to make a scene in the street and have you look at him like he'd gone fucking insane or something. But he hated Hyunjae.

You'd spoken about it so nonchalantly, like it was a normal thing to happen after a break up. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised that it was because you'd put up with it for so long that you'd gotten used to Hyunjae's fucked up behaviour. He wanted to grab you and shake you and tell you you should've told someone so it could've ended before it got worse, but what was the use in that? It'd already happened. Unfortunately.

Riki knew he was quiet, and he knew his responses probably weren't the best but he truly had no idea what to say. He was lost and angry and suddenly didn't want to keep you out of his sight in case something bad happened while he wasn't there. It was stupid, really, because you'd known each other for a good three days but he couldn't help feeling so strongly towards you. For some reason you understood each other and because of that, Riki knew you really could look after yourself - he knew how tough you were. If anything he probably needed you to take care of him because if he was in that situation, Riki doesn't know what would've happened to him.

Sometimes, Riki just let things happen. Even if he didn't want them to, he just let them. He had a voice, he could speak, but he couldn't say no or stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He'd go along with things, agree to do things, take the blame for things even if it made him feel like shit afterwards. He guessed it went along with his irrational decision making because one thing could lead to another and suddenly he wouldn't be in control of his actions and he'd done something he never thought he'd do.

Like, for example, murder someone.

🩸

"What type of music do you listen to?"

It was the first time you'd invited Riki over to your house. You'd demanded that he couldn't come over unless your mother was out, and as soon as she'd left for work, Riki had been standing at your door in his too big for him sweater and shy smile on his face.

Your house was bigger than his, Riki noted. It was a lot more modern too: white and black walls, marble floors, large open windows. Although he did find his house comfy, he felt he could breathe better here without his red flag of a grandma's boarded up windows constricting him. Your bedroom was brighter than his. There was a very obvious cream and beige theme going on, with random hints of grey here and there and you seemed to like fluffy things because your pillows and blankets and rug were extremely soft. Like really soft. And Riki wouldn't let go of the pillow in his lap despite telling him he was messing up your bed layout.

"Um. Anything, really. I don't exactly have a type I don't think." Riki responded, still glancing around your room as if he hadn't been there for almost an hour now.

"Okay. I'll just pick one I feel like playing." You started flicking through your vinyls under the bedside table which your record player sat on top. Neither of you, you'd come to realise, weren't much into the whole technological advancements shit and preferred to hang out in person, and do more practical activities rather than play games on your phone or whatever. You weren't a fan of the whole brain rotting thing, even though people tend to call you old fashioned.

After a minute or so, you'd picked one and carefully placed it on the record player. It started playing after a moment of crackling and you turned to Riki, "Do you know this one?"

The Ronettes' 'Be My Baby' came through the record player and Riki shrugged, crossing his legs on top of the bed when you turned to sit across from him. Your phone buzzed from the nightstand and for a second, your face dropped. Only slightly, but Riki caught it.

"What's wrong?"

You looked startled up at him, eyebrows furrowed. You seemed to hesitate as if trying to decide whether you should tell him but you caved when Riki tilted his head at you, "It's Hyunjae." Riki's face must've dropped because your reaction was instant, "It's nothing bad! He just keeps texting me."

The boy turned towards you when you sat down and leaned against the headboard of your bed. "It's probably because he saw me the other day. If I ignore him he'll go away."

Riki seemed to want to say something but let it go. He nodded, looking down at the fluffy grey pillow in his arms before he pulled his knees up and pressed his face into it with a small huff. You blinked with a slight laugh, raising an eyebrow. "Riki?"

He hummed.

"Riki, stop worrying."

He raised his head out of the pillow, resting his chin on top of it and mumbled, "I'm not worrying. I'm thinking."

He's so cute.

He stared at your bedsheets in thought, eyebrows furrowing a little and his cheeks pressed into your pillow slightly, "We should do something-"

Your phone dinged from the nightstand again and your eyes shifted to look at it anxiously before realising Riki was speaking so you turned your attention back onto him, "Sorry-"

It dinged again.

"Shit fuck, sorry I'll turn it off-" You reached over to grab your phone and Riki sat patiently, face still pressed into the pillow. "He seems persistent."

"He's annoying." You muttered, "He hasn't done this in ages. He's-" You sat up, heart dropping to your feet when your phone dinged again, "He's coming to my house."

"What?" Riki raised himself out of the pillow, eyes blinking at you to give him some sort of explanation but you seemed just as panicked.

"He's- He's coming. Here."

"Why?"

Staring at your phone screen, Hyunjae's message stared right back at you, angry and full of rage. "I.. I don't know."

Riki put the pillow down to the side of him and crawled over to your side of the bed, peering over to read the messages on your phone too. "Fucking- What do I do?" You groaned, shoving the phone into Riki's hands and pulling your legs to your chest to hide your face into your knees. The boy looked at you, pursing his lips, "Can't you just tell him you're not in?"

"He lives down the street." You mumbled into your knees.

Riki snapped his head towards you, hair falling into his eyes, "What?!" You lifted your head to frown at him, "You didn't tell me that!"

You shrugged, "It didn't come up in conversation!"

Sighing, Riki glanced back down at the opened messages and you groaned loudly again.

"He's probably already here waiting outside with a hammer to beat me with." You moaned.

Riki faced you with an expression of horror, "What do you mean?!"

It was definitely not the time but you couldn't help but think he looked fucking adorable when he looked at you in shock. Even if he knew it was a joke, he looked genuinely worried and even if you were being dramatic it was still nice to think he cared.

But you snapped out of it quickly because there was a knock at the door and you both froze.

It was like the air had turned cold as you stared at each other wide-eyed, your heart beating in your ears but also not beating at all. There was complete silence in the room as the two of you refused to speak as if Hyunjae could hear either of you from outside. The music from the record player was still going and you realised you'd put the record on loop. Then your phone lit up from in Riki's hand and Hyunjae slammed his fists on the door again which knocked you out of it.

"You need to hide."

The boy blinked at you, "What? Hide?-"

"Please, Riki, I don't want to drag you into this." You pleaded, snatching your phone from his hand and standing up, running your fingers through your hair out of stress.

Riki sat up on his knees on the bed to turn to you, "What are you talking about-"

"Because if he sees you he's gonna fucking kill you!" You yelled, snapping your body towards Riki in frustration, sighing shakily after you realised you'd raised your voice.

Riki looked taken back, eyebrows furrowed and eyes seeming a lot more intense. "Y/N- I thought you were joking-"

"Hide in the closet or something, I don't know." You don't know why you were panicking so much. It must've been a protective instinct, you'd always made dramatic decisions when it came to protecting other people - you'd seen it happen during your parents divorce.

"The closet? Y/N you're being insane. You need to calm down-"

"Riki, please." You whispered, eyes genuine and pleading. You must've got through to him because after a moment, he sighed and threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up and turned to face you. Thankful, you rushed over to the other side of the bed and grabbed his arms and shook him a little, nervous but relieved he was listening to you, "Thank you," You hesitated, looking at your hands before holding his face in your palms as he looked at you with worried eyes, "Nothing is going to happen, I've dealt with this before."

It didn't help in the slightest, if anything, knowing you'd gone through this before made him more angry than nervous and the boy stared, never seeing you so serious but he felt he had no choice but to listen. He pursed his lips, hands resting on top of yours on his cheeks, eyes sharpening a little, "Okay, fine. But I'm right here if anything happens."

You nodded, giving him a small smile before you ripped apart like some dramatic romance movie and you rushed out of the room to go to the front door.

🩸

Nerves were running through your body like electricity. You could feel your skin buzzing as you dug your nails into your arms as Hyunjae made himself at home on your bed.

You'd tried your best to not let him in, tried to get him to just go away but he was adamant on wanting to speak with you in person and you didn't want to anger him more than he already seemed so you had obliged, moving to the side to let him into your house. You should really learn to stand your ground next time.

"Are you gonna sit or…" Hyunjae motioned to the space beside him on the bed but you shook your head, refusing to get any closer to him. You couldn't keep still, constantly grabbing at your arms or wandering around in circles and your eyes kept glancing to the closet out of anxiousness.

"Suit yourself-"

"What the fuck do you want?" You got straight to the point, heart beating quickly and you felt like you were going to pass out if he didn't leave your house any time soon.

Hyunjae pushed his tongue into his cheek and stared at you for a second, seemingly picking up on your anxious behaviour. He did this all the time, it was his way of grasping if he had control over the situation or not. He sighed, leaning back on his arms on the bed, "My sister told me what happened at school the other day."

Your arms dropped to your side, breath coming back to you as you realised it wasn't as bad as you'd made it out to be. Fuck, I made a big deal out of it for nothing. "You came all the way here for that?"

"If you'd read my messages you'd know."

"I don't know if you'd noticed," You stepped towards him slightly, slight anger building up inside you because that's just what his presence seemed to do to you, "But I've been ignoring your texts since we broke up."

Hyunjae tilted his head, "And yet you still let me into your house?"

Well, he had you there.

When he stood up, your recent courage simmered away instantly and you took a step back. You heard movement from the closet behind you and your heart stopped for a second, though you tried not to show your panic on your face. Instead, you moved yourself to the other side of the room so Hyunjae was no longer facing the closet. Making it as inconspicuous as you could, you grabbed the key to your window from your desk on your way over to make it seem as though you were going to lock it.

Hyunjae didn't seem to notice your sudden change in attitude though, as he turned to follow your movements and he carried on speaking, "You're a lot more bold over text, why's that?"

"Because you fucking scare me." The words left your mouth as you thought of them and you wanted to throw yourself out of the window because he did not need to know that.

Hyunjae had the audacity to look genuinely upset though, and he stopped by the end of your bed and blinked a little taken back, "I scare you?"

You made sure to lock the window before turning to him, but you didn't answer.

He furrowed his brow, "What have I done to scare you?"

Is he having a laugh right now?

You didn't have the capacity to sit and list off all the fucked up shit he'd done to you, so you simply shrugged, "It doesn't matter. What are you actually here for? Because I kind of want you to leave."

The boy didn't seem phased at the sudden topic change, and leant against the bedpost, "I already told you, my sister."

"What about your fucking sister?" You were heated up and Hyunjae seemed to smile a little at how he was getting a reaction out of you. It was only slightly, but he smiled nonetheless and it pissed you off.

"She came home the other day with her new clothes covered in her lunch. Told me you did it." Hyunjae was very protective of his sister. They were twins, so it made sense for them to be close. There'd been multiple occasions where he'd gotten into fights with boys that had broken her heart. And you were sure he wouldn't be opposed to doing the same to you.

You glowered at him, not saying anything but the way your eyes refused to look at his kind of told him everything he needed. "Is it true, Y/N?" He took a step closer and it felt like an intimidation scene in a movie. He was so fucking scary. "Why are you picking fights with my sister?"

"I wasn't picking a fight. She deserved it. Her and all her fucking friends-"

"She didn't deserve it!" Hyunjae raised his voice, grabbing your wrist to drag you towards him slightly. Not again, not again, not again. You tried to wrestle your hand out of his grasp but he held on tighter, "You know how much my sister means to me. Have you seen what happens to people that mess with her?" It was like something had switched inside him. He was entirely built up on anger all the time, but one little thing and his eyes would turn black and it's like he wasn't in his own body. He's seriously so fucked up.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Your voice raised in pitch slightly when Hyunjae's fingers started to leave marks on your wrist, "It's not that big of a deal." You creased your brows in slight pain, trying to rip your hand away.

"It's not just that! You've been ignoring me for weeks," The blonde had grabbed your other wrist now, keeping you tightly in his hold, "And guess what?"

Panic settled in your stomach when you couldn't move away from the boy, breathing slightly more erratic because there was nothing stopping him from hurting you. "Hyunjae, stop-"

"You just go and get yourself a new boyfriend? After what? Two months? Did you think you could get rid of me that quickly?" There was something insane about his eyes and how they seemed to glow red the angrier he got. He had serious anger problems and it just so happened you were the one he chose to take it out on.

Somehow, the grip on your wrists tightened and you could feel the blood being cut from them the harder he held them and you were scared he was going to break your hands right from your wrists.

"Listen- We can just talk it out- Please stop."

"Talk?! I've tried talking to you for weeks! You're just being a bitch. This is the only way you'll actually listen." And he showed you what he meant by digging his nails into your wrists and pulling them in front of your face. You wailed, ripping your hands away from him which made him scratch all down your arms, drawing blood with his nails. Eyes wide, you cried out slightly, watching the blood drip down your arms and even Hyunjae seemed to stop for a second seeing the red against your skin. There was a quick silence, which was drowned out by the quiet hum of 'Be my Baby' still playing mindlessly in the background. The blood didn't stop him, though. The blonde grabbed your arms again, shaking you slightly, "See?! See what you did? This is what you get for not listening to me."

"I didn't do anything- You're being insane!"

"Me? I've tried to be so nice for weeks but as well as ignoring me you go and attack my sister? And I'm insane?" Hyunjae's hold on your arms was forceful and you could tell he was completely blinded by rage.

Biting down hard on your lip, you struggled in his hold, trying to keep a calm voice and think but it was hard when you were so scared. "I didn't attack her- Stop, you're hurting me!"

It was at that moment, when Hyunjae brought a scream out of you from twisting your wrist, that everything went to shit.

You'd almost forgotten Riki was in your room from the blind state of panic you were in until you caught a flash of black hair from behind Hyunjae.

"Riki!-"

Riki didn't know why it took him so long to act. Maybe it was because he trusted you and when you'd told him 'nothing was going to happen', he believed you enough to let it go on. After Hyunjae had raised his voice, Riki recklessly opened the closet door to see if you were okay when he realised Hyunjae had his back to him. He'd kept the door open after that, still out of sight but he could hear everything. There were moments of scuffling and Riki was starting to become blind to anything other than wanting to make sure Hyunjae wasn't going to hurt you, or at least try to like he'd done in the past. That was probably why when you'd screamed, he'd acted so blindly, so irrationally and recklessly.

Hyunjae didn't even have the time to turn around and see what you were yelling at before there was a flash of bright white then red. Completely red. Everything was red.

You closed your eyes out of instinct as something splashed into your face suddenly. There was only heavy breathing, a gasp and a choking sound echoing through your ears as your eyes were tightly shut. It took you a moment, and you wiped away whatever was in your eyes before opening them slowly. Seeing red on your hands sent your heart to the pit of your stomach. You had no idea what had just happened but Hyunjae's hands were ripped from your wrists and he slightly dragged you forward as he stepped back. Then you realised the blood. Lots of blood. On your hands, on your shirt, dripping from your face. And then the blood standing out against Hyunjae's blonde hair, and on his face, and his shirt. And the slit in his neck.

The slit in his neck.

There was a slit in his neck.

It was pouring blood and Hyunjae's hands went straight to it to try to stop it. He couldn't make a noise or speak or anything, just garbled whimpers and chokes as he opened his mouth.

You couldn't do anything. You just watched as he stumbled backwards, hands desperately clawing at his neck. You couldn't move, your body refusing to function as you stood in place, heart no longer beating and breath taken straight from your chest.

Hyunjae looked at you with wide, pleading eyes, face covered in his own blood and you didn't believe this was real. You thought you died, and this was a dream or a nightmare or something before you woke up in Heaven.

But then Hyunjae stepped back again and his leg caught behind him and he fell backwards straight into the bedpost. His head hit the top of it with a sickening crack and not even a second later he was out cold on your bedroom floor. You gasped and screamed, hand going to cover your mouth at the impact of the fall. He didn't move. He didn't fucking move.

Hyunjae was no longer standing in front of you so you finally caught sight of Riki from where he was standing behind him. The boy was frozen, back pressed against the wall and your white desk lamp clutched tightly in his hands against his chest. The lamp. The flash of white, the lamp. The lamp was covered in blood. What the fuck.

The boy's breathing was ragged and quick and he looked as though he was about to have a full blown panic attack as he still stared at the unmoving body bleeding out on the carpet in front of him. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. His hands were shaking, slightly covered in blood and his grey jumper was too and he was going to be sick. Riki's dark hair was in his face, covering his eyes because he clearly was in too much of a state of shock to move. There was splatters on blood on his face too, decorating his face like some fucked up art piece.

Riki had killed him.

Riki had killed him.

Fuck.

SYNOPSIS! trying to find a way to escape your shitty life, you decide to indulge in the new boy at school. what you didn't realise, is that you'd be on the run from murder with him a week later.

freya's notes OMGGGG HI GUYS IM BACKKK FINALLY sorry this took soo long to get out lolol. i got a job but i quit so i finally have time to write. BUT to make up for it this chapter was very long and WE GOT A MURDER🔥🔥🔥 phew anyway i hope this was okay, there's not a lot of characterisation in this one bc it's more plot based 👎 anyway idk when the next one will be out, hopefully not as long as this one took AHAHAH Love u all mwah

taglist! @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @purinoid @blossomnct

© dollriki 2023.

[svtinq]

highschool headcanons (4NEMO ver.) pt.2

venti

the most chaotic bitch in the whole school

has pulled the chair on the teacher, found their facebook account and blackmailed them with the info he knows about their dark past

triple threat - threat to the society, the students and the teachers

went to a private boys primary school and played the female lead, he bagged a lot of guys 

childhood friends with xiao, picked him up while they were both ditching school

still hasn’t hit puberty, claims his balls dropped tho

100% sells fake elevator passes and his old homework to freshman

oh boy this guy is partying EVERY NIGHT

hangs with the druggies so everyone has no idea if he’s high or just himself..

sings choir and has crazy range. Can sing soprano 2 on a good day

comes to school tired on caffeine or high no in between, regardless he has the most chaotic and crazy energy

everyone knows of him theres not one soul who hasn’t heard his name

that “gay” friend in a whole group of girls - w/ the drama kids

attention span is non existent

life of the party

xiao

he has a whole fanclub at school comprised of twilight fans, mafia wattpad readers and degenerates that are too scared shy to talk to him

did lil’huddy before lil’ huddy, the og emo

hangs with the art/drama kids

babysits venti (they went to the same primary school) although he claims to hate him 

venti and aether are the only ones he tolerates

played the second male lead in the primary school play, let’s say xiao found himself a little too in character...

you can find him in every classroom occupying the chair at the back left side next to the window

he is never listening in class, but you can find him doodling or writing song lyrics instead

wears eyeliner. don’t fight me this is literally true

very intimidating and sexy aura

wears a grungy and alternative style, headphones on like 24/7

probably plays guitar with a band outside of school

kinda mean ngl and unapproachable 

on the track team

aether

wanted that chill and peaceful freshman experience

childhood friends with kaeya and childe aka two of the most well-known guys in the whole area, so no that lowkey life was not happening

has senior girls come up to him asking about them ALL the time

also known as lumine’s twin, who is very popular with the guys.. he’s swatting them like flies.

popular but not through intent

that cutscene at the start of the game where he reaches his arm out for his sister? It be like that everyday in the hallway when the guys just “pick her up” and run away

unbothered and annoyed 24/7

joined the track team w/ lumine and met xiao there

in the photography club, don’t ask it just makes sense

afterschool he kind of just dissapears?

is friends with everyone, but still decides to sit with the nerds

good grades 

kazuha

won the school talent show by reading a haikku

everyone loves him DONT EVEN - if childes the golden boy, kazuha’s like the golden..dog. 

turns straight ppl gay

the time he got told off for his dyed hair he turned around to look at the teacher and she started crying at his beauty

probs friends with zhongli ngl.. they kind of just live in the school library.

lands the role when the school does shakespeare

this boys vocabulary is so THick absolutely no clue what he’s talking about

nose in a book whenever you see him

shortest guy on the basketball team, smart and athletic

i think his basketball mates would like lift him up to help him dunk LMAO

in the student council

ik just KNOW he has the prettiest handwriting and notes

the rule simply is don’t fuck with him, because although he could handle you on his own, he has the whole basketball team as his self proclaimed dads

[fizzingwizard]

Things that happened this week

A pigeon sometimes hangs out at my apartment and starts making noise around 5 am. On Thursday, it not only started making noise, but it went on nonstop. Such a racket. It was raining, so it spent a longer time on my balcony. Actually, when I looked outside at 7, it was still there, taking shelter right above my washing machine. By then it was quiet, so I opened the door... nothing happened... closed the door... pigeon flew away. Idk.

Played "We're going on a lion hunt" (youtube video) for my class. Every year it's a big hit, but this year's class is the most mesmerized. It's the first time I worried they might be legitimately scared, rather than just having fun pretending. Of course, if even one kid was really scared, I wouldn't make them watch. But they were having fun, they just are more expressive than other classes. One kid had his hands covering his mouth and eventually his eyes. When I checked on him, he was laughing. Another girl started saying "Scary! no no!" so I asked if she wanted to hold my hand. Not only did she hold my hand, she came riiiight up close to see the video better hahahaha.

The understaffing has reached critical levels. I did overtime twice this week. My coworker was supposed to have a day off, had been approved and everything, but at the last minute the manager asked her to make it a half day because there was no one available to cover her. We have help from other campuses almost every day. Today, after the kids woke up from nap, I was supposed to be in a room with three other teachers... none of whom are ECE teachers or work at my school regularly. I was able to switch one of them out for a sub who used to be one of our regular classroom teachers, so I trust her. But if she'd been subbing somewhere else Idek.

Have a student who I think I've mentioned before, his parents are super overprotective. Although now it seems to be mainly the dad's issue. Dad's been keeping his kid home on days that he doesn't have to work. I don't even understand what he's upset about, although I'm told it began last year when his kid went outside, and then had a fever later in the day (???). What does he want, to keep the kid indoors his whole life? He won't meet and talk to us about his concerns. He sent a condescending letter with a list of requirements for caring for his son, all of which we were already doing. We have simply started doing them more (ie. when the kid doesn't actually need it - like changing his shirt every day even if he doesn't get sweaty). It does not impress him. This kid has seizures when he has a high fever, and when it happened last month we followed his chart meticulously. What did the parents do? Complain that their kid was "just hot," come pick him up at their usual time, and then go out to eat. When they got home, kid had a seizure. Guess who's at fault? Us, because... reasons??? Again, we did EVERYTHING we were told to do by his doctor and parents, so. I'm not sure, but I get the impression the parents think we should have given the kid his medication. But as none of us are doctors, there are only certain circumstances where we can give meds, and those are stipulated, again, on his chart. At the time, the criteria for us to give meds wasn't met - the whole reason for informing his parents so they could take him home and care for him themselves. Despite the fact that this was the approved plan by everyone concerned, parents still think we should have been able to miraculously prevent this. Another time his parents complained that we weren't wiping his nose. Yes, we are, every five seconds. It just so happens that one time out of the hundreds that they picked him up, his nose had gone two minutes without being wiped while teachers cared for you know all our other kids. We have made a very obvious point to wipe his nose in front of his parents since then. Today, I had been up and down literally nonstop wiping lots of kids noses. I'm not exaggerating at all. And this kid has the runniest nose of them all. I had literally just wiped his nose and thrown out the tissue when I turned around and saw it was running again. So I asked him to go get me another tissue. The tissue box was right there, the kids help themselves all the time, and all he had to do was grab a tissue and bring it to me bc my legs were freaking exhausted. Of course, this is when his mom decides to show up. XP She couldn't arrive during the 99 other times I'm running around after her kid with a tissue, only during the 1 time I ask him to get his own tissue. She immediately grabs the tissue from him and wipes his nose herself. Idek. I'd love to show her the video of how all I've done in in the last half hour is run around wiping noses, but I know it wouldn't make a difference even if I could. In this family's opinion, only their kid matters. Dad wants to pull the kid out of our school. I love the student, but to be rid of the parents, honestly, I'm not gonna fight it too hard...

[hiding-all-the-bodies]

The Werewolf's Good Christian Kiss

Below is a cursed AI-Generated Werewolf Romance Story that my roommate and I worked on. It is a genuine masterpiece.

It was all she could do not to stare.

In front of Nathalie stood the sexiest werewolf she had ever seen, eating a cup of strawberry almond milk yogurt sensually. He was naked except for his leather sandals and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. His black hair was wet with sweat from running through the forest, but he seemed totally relaxed. His pale skin glistened in the sunlight as it reflected off his light brown nipples.

Unfortunately, he had hairy toes. It was one of her least favorite things about men; she couldn't understand why they just didn't shave them.

But other than that minor flaw...

"You're really hot." She couldn't help herself.

He barked at her like a furry. "And you're really pretty." He licked his lips. "I'm so glad we got to spend time together today. I've been looking forward to this since forever."

She blushed.

Suddenly, her hand shot forward and knocked the yogurt cup out of his hand.

"If I can't have yogurt, no one can," she growled.

The wolf's eyes turned into fireballs. "That was mine!"

Nathalie shrugged. "Sorry. But I don't eat meat or dairy anymore."

His eyebrows furrowed. They looked like caterpillars. "Are you vegan?"

"Yes! So if you want my body, you'll have to take it in trade."

He laughed. A low, throaty sound. "Oh, baby, I'm literally going to stab you with an icicle"

She grinned back. "We're even then."

He stalked toward her. "Well, you still owe me for this yogurt."

She shook her head. "No thanks."

He turned around and put clothes on. When he finally saw Nathalie again, his smile faded and he stared at her strangely. As if seeing her for the first time.

"What is your problem?" she asked.

He glanced away, embarrassed. "I finally realized that I do not like women"

She stared at him. "So what are you? Asexual?"

He nodded, although it wasn't clear whether he meant yes or no.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I was eating yogurt while naked and it would be really awkward to bring it up in that situation"

She rolled her eyes. "So just come out and say it."

He sighed. "I'm gay."

Her jaw dropped open. "Gay?"

He nodded. "I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind having sex with you, but..."

Nathalie rolled her eyes and handed him a razor. "Please shave your stinky hairy toes"

"Uh, thanks"

"Also, please stop staring at me"

"Okay, okay. Sorry"

She smiled. "I forgive you"

They spent the rest of the day in the woods, talking and laughing.

So was he asexual or gay, or both? Was he homoromantic? Who's to say?

As long as he kept his hairy toes trimmed, Nathalie didn't care.

***

When she awoke the next morning, she discovered that she was alone. The wolf must have gone home.

In his wake was a pile of blueberry yogurt cups, most likely left from the night's hunt.

At least she had survived another full day with him without getting eaten by any bears.

***

Day 21:

Nathalie sat in bed, reading the newspaper. She had been meaning to get around to doing that for weeks now.

She wondered if the werewolf had kept his toes trimmed since the last time she saw him, 21 days ago.

She remembered how much he loved to run through the forest, his naked body dripping with sweat. And once he'd finished eating, he would always lick his lips and growl something like, 'You're really not my type.'

Was he gay or asexual? Did he prefer men over women? Or did he like both?

Nathalie bit her lip. Was he lying when he told her that he liked her?

Yeah, probably. Oh well, she thought. If he doesn't want to have sex with me, I don't need him anyway.

Besides, she had bigger problems to deal with right now. Like how to survive another week.

Surviving the hell we call high school.

***

High school sucked.

Everyone was mean and cruel.

They said nasty things behind your back. They laughed at you. Sometimes they made fun of you right to your face.

Like that time a girl named Sarah walked past Nathalie in the hallway and called her fat.

To be fair, she WAS fat, but still.

It hurt like hell. She wanted to kill her.

But instead, she just cried.

It was only the second day of school, and already she felt worthless.

A few hours later, she got into a fight with someone else.

That someone else had hairy toes and refused to trim them.

***

On Thursday, she woke up in a cold sweat.

She lay there for several minutes, breathing raggedly. Her heart pounded in her chest. She tried to calm herself down, but she couldn't. The only thing that seemed to give her heart rest was the thought of vegan yogurt.

But what if he had already ate all of the yogurt? Maybe he had decided to keep his hairy toes after all.

Then she thought about the werewolf's stash. It was huge. She remembered how she had accidentally knocked the yogurt out of his hand during their first encounter.

Maybe he had decided to eat all of the yogurt himself.

She shook her head. That was ridiculous. Why would he do that?

Sure, his feet smelled bad, but the idea of him eating all of Nathalie's yogurt was absurd.

Nathalie thought of all the delicious flavors available for vegans. Strawberry, plain, and plain with strawberry. There was even raspberry.

Raspberry yogurt.

Her mouth watered.

She needed some. Now.

***

By Friday, she was too desperate to wait another minute.

She grabbed the keys to her car and drove to the nearest grocery store.

She loaded her shopping basket with every variety of vegan yogurt that she came across.

In the check-out line, she saw him.

This time, he was wearing a tight-fitted bodycon dress with purple sequins. He looked good. Really good.

His hair was perfectly styled. He was holding hands with a girl who was wearing a see-through top and white shorts.

Nathalie stared at them.

The girl noticed.

Something in her... broke. Yogurt cups fell dramatically to the floor, some bursting open. The loud schlorp was heard across the store.

Nathalie stormed over to the werewolf and yanked the neck of his pretty purple dress.

"Who do you think you are," she growled at him. "Is this how you treat women?"

He looked down at his dress.

"Huh? What's wrong with my dress?"

Nathalie grabbed it and ripped it apart.

"I gave you my Sephora gift card to buy some lip gloss for me, and now you're schmoozing it up with some other woman!"

"Hey!" said the girl. "What are you doing?"

"Treating you like a piece of trash!"

"That's not true!"

The girl started to cry.

Nathalie began to sob.

"It's because I'm Lactose Intolerant!" The wolf suddenly yelled out. "It's not like I want to cheat on you or anything!"

The girl smiled. "Yes it is. You're dating me and cheating on me at the same time!"

Nathalie threw the yogurt cups at the wolf.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOT VEGAN YOGURT!!!" He screamed like a child.

Nathalie ran out of the grocery store.

***

She drove home, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She had ruined everything.

How could she ever trust anyone again?

***

The next morning, she woke up in her bed. This made sense, as she had fallen asleep there.

What didn't make sense was the wolf standing in her doorway in a fluffy pink robe and bunny slipper socks.

She looked at him.

"Where did you come from?"

"I followed you here from the grocery store yesterday"

"Oh yeah." She rubbed her eyes. "Wait, why are you in my house?"

"Because I'm gay"

"You're gay?!"

"Yeah, I'm gay"

"So you've been having sex with other people!"

"No, I've been living with two roommates since I moved in"

"You don't live here."

"I know, but I've been sleeping on their couch for years now"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to ruin our friendship"

"But you lied to me"

"I don't lie"

"But you did"

"Show me your toes"

"My what?"

"Come on, show me your toes"

"Why?"

"You're a liar, remember? Show me your toes"

"Fine. But afterward, you have to leave me alone."

Wolf kicked off his bunny slippers and showed his hairy toes, ashamed.

"I thought you promised to keep them shaved!" Nathalie grumbled.

"I did"

"Why won't you let me shave them then?"

"I don't know, but I promise I will never shave my toes again. Not unless I want to"

"Stupid stupid stupid man" She slammed her fist against her forehead.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just forget it"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes, go away"

"Okay."

Nathalie was so much happier without him. She still didn't have any yogurt though.

***

The next day, Nathalie woke up feeling refreshed.

She lay in bed and stared at the ceiling.

She knew she should probably get up and start her day, but she also knew that she didn't have to do anything until she felt like it.

She would call the boogey man to buy her yogurt, and then she would sit on the couch and watch Netflix all day.

It was going to be great!

***

Later that afternoon, she went to pick up the phone.

She hung it up twice before she finally picked it up.

Finally, he answered.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi, it's me"

"Nathalie?"

"Yeah. Are you busy?"

"Not really"

"Would you mind coming over?"

"Yeah, I would mind. I'm in my pajamas and watching Netflix. It's a self love day. And you are not me, I cannot love you today."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

"Okay bye."

She hung up the phone.

Five minutes later, he knocked on her door.

"Excuse me? Who is this?"

"Pizza delivery"

"Ha! No way, I'm not paying for that"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Please pay at the counter"

"Fuck that, go away!"

"You owe me $10."

Nathalie rolled her eyes, and opened the door to confront the wolf. This time, he was wearing footie pajamas.

"Why are you dressed like that?" She asked.

"I just got home from work. I had to stay late"

"And why was that?"

"Someone stole my lunch money"

She frowned. "I will not be paying for your food"

"But..."

They kiss a good Christian kiss with no tongue.

Nathalie smiled.

"Thank you so much, Wolf"

"No problem."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Nathalie closed the door and leaned against it.

She vowed to never see him again.

***

Day 34:

The wolf had come back.

He had brought her a dozen flowers, which were arranged in a vase on Nathalie's dining room table.

Something about him was... different.

He no longer showed up unannounced while naked, he was always wearing clothes now. She had told him that she was not one of his other girls, and that he needed to stop lying about everything.

She wouldn't say it, but she suspected that he was depressed. She pitied him.

He was so sad. So lonely.

When he had shown up the first time, she was upset with him for being rude, but after a few days passed, she realized that he was sweet, and almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined. She was glad that she hadn't given him her number.

She didn't even know his name.

Just like that, she forgot about him. She didn't want to speak to him anymore.

Until the motherfricker showed up again. Still wearing clothes.

"So, you're still here" she said, looking at him with contempt.

"Yeah, I am."

"What do you want?"

"I can't seem to leave you alone"

"Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore."

"You never bothered me. Or my name isn't Chadli"

"Chadli?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah"

"Why do you keep calling me by my first name? We were never friends."

"I know. But I don't care about that"

"Well, then you shouldn't have bothered me in Walmart last week. Stupid"

The wolf shook his head. "I'm sorry"

"Shut up and leave me alone"

"Please"

"No."

The wolf sighed. "I guess I'll just take these flowers."

"Oh no, you can leave the flowers"

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

The wolf took the flowers and left her apartment.

***

The next day, she found a note taped to her front door.

"Sorry about last night, Nathalie. I know you said to leave the flowers. Sorry bout dat"

She crumpled up the paper and threw it in the garbage.

***

A little while later, she walked into her kitchen to find a dozen fresh roses sitting on her table. They weren't from the wolf.

Nathalie then realized that she may have a sleepwalking problem.

***

The next day, the wolf showed up.

He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a button down shirt.

He smiled when he saw her.

"Hi, Nathalie"

"Did you bring me a present this time?"

"I did, watch" The full moon had risen. The wolf started violently changing. His skin turned green and his teeth grew sharp and pointed.

"That's disgusting!" Nathalie said.

"You're beautiful!" he said.

"I'm not!"

He laughed.

Nathalie looked down. Yep, toes were still hairy.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"

"Afraid not."

"I don't understand you, Chadli"

"I don't get you either"

"How can you not?"

"All I want is to be loved by you"

"That's not possible."

"Then make it so. Love me"

"How?"

"Come here"

The wolf gently took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

They then made friendship bracelets.

***

Another day, another dozen red roses.

She wasn't sure if she was going crazy. Maybe she was dreaming him.

Or maybe it was real.

She couldn't decide.

Or it was her stupid sleepwalking problem again.

Maybe she was just imagining everything.

***

The wolf came over to Nathalie's house every single day.

There was something different about him each day.

Today, he wore a tie.

Unfortunately he was not wearing a shirt. Nathalie guessed that it was due to the wolfing out debacle.

He was always dirty though.

Nathalie couldn't help but feel disgusted by him.

"I'm sorry about last night, Nathalie" he said.

"You're welcome"

"I'm so embarrassed. My sister Enid said to give you daisies instead because you aren't like other girls. You're a cool girl"

Nathalie laughed. "Thanks for the flowers"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize, please. I like having you around."

"I like being here too."

That day, Nathalie realized that she is bipolar. It made a lot of sense. Her mood changed all the time. She was happy one minute, and angry the next.

But she realized that she was happiest when she was with him.

She wondered if he could be right.

She pulled out her revolver from her belt loop and shot Chadli square in the chest. He fell to the ground and remained dead.

She called the police to report a murder.

***

The next day, Nathalie was in the living room when she heard someone knocking on her door. It was exactly who she had expected.

"Why do you keep coming back?" she asked, holding her gun tightly.

"Because you are an amazing woman"

"I'm not"

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on."

"I'm sorry, I'm in love with someone else."

"Who?"

"You"

"Is he hotter than me?"

"No"

"Then I don't understand"

"I just don't think I can love you"

"Why not?"

"Because you're supposed to be dead"

"I am dead. I'm a ghost werewolf now."

Nathalie was confused.

"You're a what now?"

"I'm a ghost werewolf now"

"I don't believe you"

"Can you see me?"

"Yes"

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes"

She looked into his eyes.

"Yes, I can see you. Yes, I can hear you"

"Good," he said, "So obviously I'm a ghost werewolf. Duh."

"I don't believe you. If you are a ghost, how are you breathing?"

"My body is still here, but my spirit has gone to Heaven. See, I'm wearing my favorite sweater from my aunt, and I'm wearing my favorite pants from my grandma. If I weren't a ghost, these clothes would not exist because I accidentally shrunk them in the wash 5 years ago."

Nathalie shook her head.

"Either way, I'm here now. I'm not leaving until I get some closure"

"Closure?"

"You know, the ending of a story"

Nathalie looked up, and was suddenly facing a meat cleaver, lightly stained with the remains of a strawberry yogurt cup.

"Shit!"

She screamed.

The wolf laughed. "Now you see me, now you don't!"

"You bastard! You lied to me!"

"It's okay, Nathalie. It will be mostly painless. Probably"

"No! I want my life back!"

"I'm afraid that you don't have one anymore."

"Bullshit! You can't kill me, I'm Nathalie!"

"I can do whatever I want," the wolf replied.

The last thing Nathalie ever saw was the shining path of silver as metal met bone.

***

Nathalie woke up in bed with a smile on her face. The wolf had been real.

She loved him. She didn't know why, but she did.

She was glad that she had been able to finally talk to him.

She tried to rise from her bed, but couldn't because she was fricking dead.

She could only move her mouth.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. She looked around, confused. She didn't remember getting out of her bed. Then she remembered that she had died.

The funeral was lovely. Three people attended, and Nathalie's mother even gave a speech.

"She was such a hopeless romantic, and she always watched the entirety of those weird werewolf romance novel ads on youtube. Everyone should have known that she was adopted, this is a vampire loving family"

"I heard her scream, and I ran to the door. When I opened it, she had a meat cleaver in her head and was smiling like nothing had happened. She said that she was going to Heaven, but I knew better. When she crumpled to the floor, I was too shocked to cry. I knew it was the notorious ghost werewolf. Where did I go wrong as a mother?"

Nathalie's father looked out at the crowd and smiled. "I always knew that the ghost werewolf had a secret crush on me. All those times, when he came home from school, and I was eating dinner, he would sneak in the kitchen and watch me eat."

"He probably ate more than usual that day, too. I hope he enjoyed the last piece of steak that I ever cooked for him"

Everyone in the room was silent, except for the wolf. He was now a poltergeist. He began to whisper in her ear.

"Hey Nathalie, remember when we first met? In Walmart?"

She did not speak, as is customary for corpses.

"Remember how I told you that you were beautiful?"

Nathalie stayed still, as is also customary for corpses.

"Do you remember what I said?"

She laid there like a dead person. Which she was.

"I told you that I loved you."

She did nothing. Again, customary for a corpse.

"I mean, I really did."

She still remained silent.

"Nathalie, do you love me?"

She was a ghost. She could not answer.

The fearsome ghost werewolf Chadli haunted the local Walmart until the end of time.

[wxniesrxse]

Lee Leo : Broken Boy

WARNING

Cussing (bad words)

Triggering Situations

Car Crashing

Mentioned of Suicide

Bad Relationship

Bullying

Pairing: You x Leo of Trainee A

Warning: Mature

Lee Leo.

The kid who once turned on the school's alarm for no reason he only did that and left the school's grounds when everybody was running out the school building afraid it was something serious.

Lee Leo.

The kid who did whatever he want during science class. One time in a chemical project he was in my team. He wasn't supposed to mixed any chemicals that the teacher hasn't told us to use. But Leo didn't listen and mixed chemicals and more chemicals together creating an explosion in the middle of the table. "Uugh....it didn't explode the way I wanted it..." he puffed and frowned.  "Idiot" I thought.

Lee Leo

The kid that steal peoples food whenever he liked.

Lee Leo

Who once was the most trouble maker in high school and gave almost everyone a hard time...including me.

I remember how this wasn't the Leo I knew back in elementary school and middle school. Leo and I were close friends. Leo was kind, sweet, helpful, teacher's favorite student, and people love him.....but when his parents die in a car crash...he changed. Well....if I remember correctly after his parents death he only had one person to take care of him. That was his uncle.

Leo once told me how he didn't like him because his uncle was a drunk. His uncle has two younger sons and has a new wife but his new wife does not treat the two kids well.

After the tragedy happened, he started to live with his uncle and that's when the "new" and "mean" Leo was born. I even started to hate him during those 4 years.

Now we're out of school. Probably everyone has a job, doing their dream job, are studying a career in college, probably meeting their first real love. I'm studying to be a veterinarian because of my love for animals and I'm also working in a cafe shop near my home.

But let me tell....one day......I saw him. Lee Leo.

He walked in hand in hand with a beautiful girl. She was so pretty that you could even mistake her of being a popular social media influencer. That day I had a black mask on because of COVID rules but no matter how much I hate to wear it I was glad to have it on because there could be a chance that Leo wouldn't recognize me immediately.

They walk towards the ordering desk were I was taking the orders. " I want a americano and chocolate cake" she said as she look at the list of deserts that was in front of me. Leo step forward and order " I want a latte and chocolate cake as well" he smiled lightly. I was shocked to see him smiling even a little bit. I remember him being so angry. I stared at him for a few seconds before typing the his order in the computer. "Okay it's 12.50...." I said as I got their credit card.

I watched them sit together. Leo was sitting on the opposite side of her. He held her hand across the table but she aggressively pulled her hand away. " I saw the way that ugly cashier looked at you" I heard her say and of course I felt uncomfortable hearing that. I think I should've been more careful.

Leo chuckled quietly. " she was? I didn't even notice it..." he said not showing any care. " yeah right! That's what you always say to any girl....anyway I'm not gonna get jealous today .....Leo~ I want the shoes I saw yesterday at the mall...can you buy them for me?" She cooed. She caressed his cheek softly. " of course babe, anything for you" he said as he kiss the knuckles of her hand.

I literally stand there pretending I was doing something on the computer as I watched them. Honestly I wasn't sure why I was interested to know what they were doing at that time knowing the piece of shit he was in high school.  Although I don't know that young woman, for what I'm seeing, Leo seems to be so in love with her but.....she looks like she isn't....just there for the money.

" YN, I need you in the coffee area!" A co worker called me. I didn't want to leave but I had to do my tasks.

Then we all heard the sound of yelling and stuff been thrown down. We all run to the front desk to see what was going on.

Leo's girlfriend threw her cup of coffee to the floor and it shattered. " why you gotta be like this!" She screamed...literally screamed. She looked so angry that she suddenly took Leo's hot coffee and threw on him. "What the fuck Mirae! It's not that deep!" Leo step backwards as he look at his wet clothes. " you're the worst boyfriend! Why am I even dating you if you can't make me happy! I shouldn't have saved you when you were about to-" she immediately stop herself from saying what I think she was going to say out loud. Leo's frowned turned into a sad look. " get... the fuck...out of here...." He whispered as he sat down back in the chair in a such a tiredly and defeated way.

When I saw him looking defeated and sad I just realized that the good boy I've known before is still there....but he's broken.

"Leo! I know you went through a lot and you still are, let me help you....please..." I crouch down to be able to see his face. I put my hand on his arm. Leo slowly look at me. "YN?..." he whispered with a questionable look. " I work here....but let me take you home......you're hurting from inside ...." I said quietly looking at his eyes. "Why?....You and I stopped being friends....a long long time ago..." he said dryly as he look way from me.

But I know the Leo I always known is still there....

" we'll talk once you're clean..." I smiled as I put my hand out to him....and he took it.

" Do you want to eat something? Drink anything? You ask and I'll get it for you...." He slightly smirked. It was a kind and sweet smirk. He sat on a stool next to me. He changed his white shirt to a gray one and his pants too. He had his hair down instead of wearing that red cap on he had earlier. He looked approachable specially with the sweet smile he gave me.

" thank you for the offer but I ate lunch and I'm very fulled" I rubbed my belly as I laughed. He chuckled and didn't stop staring at me. " I'm sorry for being a piece of shit to you in high school..." he said in a serious voice. He licked his bottom lip and rubbed his own hands together. " I've gone through a lot of horrible shit with my uncle and....I've shouldn't have used those reasons to treat others like shit....I regret everything I did in the past...." He pressed his lips together and look down. He was crying.

I felt like crying too. He went through a lot and as the good friend I used to be to him I never gave him a chance to talk to me about his struggles. Everyone would say "what the hell is wrong with Leo" instead of asking " what is going wrong with Leo? Is he okay? Does he have problems at home?" And I was one of them. I felt horrible.

I got off of the stool and hugged him tightly. " hey it's in the pass, I should have been there for you even if you changed, even if you bully me, I should have been by your side before judging you like the rest did....I feel at fault too...and I'm sorry for that, im really sorr-" Leo turn to look at me. His hands touching the sides of my face.

He was too close. " don't apologize, but I hope you can forgive me..." he mumbled. I smiled and nodded. " of course! Like I said it's in the pass and now we're adults living our own life....we can restart our friendship again " I put my hands on his hands that were still on my face. I grab them and pull them off my face so I can hold his hands with mine properly.

He let out a tiny laugh. "Okay...of course..." he said getting off the stool. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I wrapped my hands around his torso. " should we go out to dinner together?" You asked in a question voice. "Yes. Then I can talk to you about how I met her...Mirae..." he said sounding sad. I nodded and grabbed his hands. "Alright! We have a lot time to catch up" I smiled at him and so he did as we both shared a laugh together.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Thank you for reading! I enjoy writing this sad Leo shot! I hope I didn't made anyone uncomfy.

( this will be on my WATTPAD & IG)

[anakinskywalkerog]

omgieeees ive been waiting and checking tumblr at literally regular intervals waiting to hear back from you <3

i feel like youre starting to get a bit sick of him... 😂 if the definition of crush is wanting to kiss sumun, i wouldnt say i was crushing on him, i just kind of liked him? it was really weird, this whole thing made no sense from the start, sis.

NO i disagree, it would be super weird to date sumun who looks like you, that feels like something straight out of narcissism. i could never, but im also indian and ive never liked any indian guys (i dont live in india to be fair tho) although maybe there's something slightly resembling me in the guys ive liked if we look too hard? idk. idts tho.

she has pretty eyes! she has his eyes, but they're different somehow. more detailed? LMAO i just really love eyes in general; i could recognize all of my friends from their eyes rather than their face 💀

yeahhh i dont like him anymore, its something weird between friends and not. distance would be great, and im getting that in a way because were off school for half term, although i have his snao and we do streaks so im technically seeing him every day.

any thoughts on the buzz cut tho? (in general)

high time for a new crush indeed 🙌 im looking but no one else has caught my eye :/ any ideas how???

sorry sorry for the rant omg 😭 somehow i enjoy telling this story because of how complex it is but i like telling it to you as well ❤ idk something about you makes me wana tell you the whole tea lol.

i get what you mean, i think its great that they have good communication and all because all healthy relationships are built on that, but idk we're teenagers so the thought of telling my bf "hey by the way this guy ive been having that weird spat with told me he didnt like me today, what about you?" is just... off. the fact she evens knows i exist because of that (or if he told her even before which is sus because he did the doing before innit) seems... awkward. it just feels really cringey, man. most things, not all things tho.

maybe tell someone but not ur gf, that feels disrespectful to both of us in some weird way.

damn right. he actually had a bit of a stutter around me when we first met! its gone now, but weve also spent a while around each other. hmm, i get that; obviously there's definitely a lot of people he would find attractive at our school (we have some genuine REALLY pretty gils here, like, super hot) (as you can tell, i am bi ❤) but hes not staring at all of THEM in a sus way. like, this was a whole thing. hes not gt a thign with all of them.

yeah, well, i dont want to DATE him if that makes any sense so its good he doesnt, but like, idk man. i hope he wants to stay with her because if they break up because of me its not going to end well in a lot of ways because im sure that me and C.S.M.B wouldnt last, even if we did date, his gf would hate me forever and rightfully so, and her bestie, my bitchy friend, would not mind her own fucking bsuiness and ruin things in the friendship group for me so lets hope whatever it is no beef goes down 🙏 also i dont like him because i know him better this year, so it would be a whole problem so its good the way it is 👍

all i need him to do is start talking to me regularly and then we can be friends and i can focus on my future crush 👌

its deffo fun and I NEED TO GET A NEW CRUSH BUT IDK HOW MAN ANYONE CAN YOU HELP ME OUT easier said than done ofcccccc

yayyy i really hope you like that playlist, i live breathe eat those songs, so lets give C.S.M.B a round of applause for helping me come up with it 👏

hmm, maybe. its a bad law :/

oh, hes definitely scared of me. he listens to me when im talking to other people and im a BEAST in class (and outside) so hes rightfully scared of me 👍 its absolutely hilarious but i think he was more confused

well, we were on the bus, and i said "guys we should come up with a nickname so other people dotn know who we mean" and my friend was like... "...what about toothpaste?" i think she saw an ad for toothpaste somehwere lmaooo any other explanation would be... ...questionable.

i would love for that too. shes probs hot so i wouldnt say no to that 🤣🥴😏😈

i wonder what your followers think about this series lol, The Very Deep and Complicated Love Life of Sythe ? someone give this sitcom a name 💀 i hope they're not too sick of it lmaoo i know this has nothing to do with him :/

but thank you so much for listening to me ranting about C.S.M.B, i appreciate it so much!!! <3

here is an anakin for you:

this is my favourite anakin ever, hayden looks very hawt and sexc in this <3

i alos possess a rare coloured edition of this photo 😈

anywaysss bye oli love u!

i also really like eyes 🤭 and i get it, i just think you should fixate on someone else bc there are plenty of cuties and this one seems like a dead end. take the trash out 😂🗑 i have no idea how to find a new crush…maybe start trying to intentionally pay attention to other people in your school/your life? see if anyone seems interesting or cute hehe

it’s funny cause when i was in high school i was listened to T Swift You Belong With Me and hyper focusing on small interactions with my crush and i haven’t been in high school for years but ppl are still doing that same exact thing 😂 i guess high school never changes. now that i have an *adult brain* though, i can tell you that you should be focusing on people who are nice to you and if he can be a good friend great, but if not, boy bye

thank you for my Anakin. this concludes this episode of the sad beautiful tragic love life of sythe 😂

[anemic-comedienne]

More love letters, more growing up

Ever since Grace wrote her brilliantly sweet and brilliantly brilliant little biography, I’ve been finding myself writing similar snippets. This one is about Peter, my friend who may or may not be a geography major, who read every poem I wrote between the ages of 14 and 16, and who is coming home in three days (but who’s counting?)

The first thing you need to know about Peter is that he has an Android, because of course he does. So for a long time, he wouldn’t actually text me, instead exiling us to the wasteland that is the Snapchat chat function. It was only this past year, after much mockery, that he started actually calling me on the phone. “Like an adult,” I said, teasing, the first time I picked up. His answer, in the affirmative, was more sincere than I expected. We didn’t grow up together in the traditional sense, I guess, but that specific kind of teenage growing – the kind that makes a person a person – we did side by side. On steps backstage and from glowing midwest bedrooms. Over joints he smoked and I didn’t. And now we’ve arrived here, at an age that merits some reminiscing.

Peter and I first met our freshman year of high school, behind the scenes of a scary production of As You Like It. The show was spearheaded by an interim director who was the craziest bitch I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. Peter’s older sister, then a junior, was stage managing, and she literally apologized to us during opening night, promising that – although ubiquitously distressing – high school theater didn’t usually get *this* ugly. We persevered through dressing room meltdowns and high expectations. The following summer, we started texting, and pretty soon we were in near constant (virtual) contact. And then senior year, we fell into the same messy friend group that populates the majority of the high school memoir I’ll never write. We weren’t exactly fast friends, though. It took years before we ever saw each other outside of school – at 15, I was reeling from a bitter breakup and two even bitterer friendship breakups, all with boys who pulled at me in ways I didn’t quite understand then. I was so afraid of being close to a boy again that every time Peter and I made plans, my anxiety would get so bad that I’d become physically ill. But I got better, and Peter was still there, and our relationship was wonderfully, easily platonic. And now, when my therapist asks who I’m excited to see at home, Peter is the first name that comes to mind.

One of many reasons I love Peter is that he’s never thought of me as particularly interesting. I can tell him the most horrifically funny things about my life and my brain without worrying that he’ll try to take care of me, or worse, find me attractive. Mental illness doesn’t shock him or make him wince or make him flirt. I think this is why finding out that he had a crush on me sophomore year of high school felt like a betrayal. And why I believed so passionately I hadn’t known before Thanksgiving of last year when he brought it up vaguely, in passing, and insisted he’d told me before. I figured I would have remembered feeling like our friendship had been undermined. I didn’t remember, though, because it wasn’t. Peter has never liked me for being sick or sad. But he has always loved me in spite of it. 

Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised by his kindness; I know that women should expect it from the men we love and who claim to love us back. But Peter does love me back. I don’t need to teach him something he already knows. And so when he catches me off guard, as he often does – with the scope of his generosity, with the gentle way he looks at the world, with his uncanny ability to read my smallest gesture – I feel pretty uninterested in quelling my surprise. Especially because the way he knows me, through and through and completely effortlessly, certainly is uncanny. He knows who I like, what I want, even who I am before I do, and he always has, and he’s never spoiled the ending. He never tells me I told you so, or even what happens next. He just knows because he knows me, because he cares. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I mean that beyond just us. Being a friend is something that Peter is very good at. It comes to him easily, fully, in a way that is good and sweet and rare.

Peter probably won’t read this. The only way he would find this post is if I sent it to him, which seems like an embarrassing thing to do, because this love letter is much too much about me to ever actually deliver to its intended recipient. That’s only fitting though. Peter has forgiven me for being selfish and self-centered more times than I can count, more than I’ve ever deserved. I tell him all the time that it’s a miracle he’s friends with me. That our friendship consists of – has always consisted of – me yelling and him patiently holding my hand. I say it as a joke (usually) and he laughs (always.) He assures me it isn’t true. And maybe it isn’t. Maybe I overestimate how much I’m supposed to give. Maybe I’m used to giving too much, or maybe it’s possible for him to love me even when I give nothing at all. But maybe it is true, a little. So I feel a little guilty, just in case. Especially for making him my perpetual drunk call. 

I’ve never thought to tread lightly when sharing the most intimate details of my mental health with male friends because a) they’re usually telling me much more about themselves, and b) they’re usually too distracted by either what they’re saying or how I look to actually listen. But Peter listens, and Peter doesn’t overshare. He doesn’t think that he’s in love with me. He’s just a person, and he knows I am too. I don’t think this will ever not feel special to me. So many of my friendships in high school were defined by bleeding next to one another, and so many of my friendships with boys in high school were defined by trying to look nice while I bled. I don’t know much else. I think this is why sometimes, when Peter and I are reunited, I find myself pressing at our shared memories, trying to find places that old wounds might still be open. I don’t like this about myself. Peter has always been better than what I’ve needed him to be. And he’s always been more mature than me, more levelheaded, better at reading a room. I want to grow up in the ways he’s always been grown up, in the ways that make him such a good friend.

In high school, Peter carried a messenger bag instead of a backpack. He wears transition lenses to this day. He’s dorky looking in a way that is almost cartoonish and always endearing. He laughs at me when I happy cry. He did drugs earlier in high school than everyone else did. I think he prefers writing to reading. He shouldn’t have to be the glue in his family, or in our friend group, but he is, and if he ever decides to be proud of it, he’d deserve to be. I don’t know if he would describe himself this way, but at least from the outside, his sense of self seems pretty unshakeable. And I know for a fact he wouldn’t describe himself this way, but I’ve always thought of him as universally adored.

One night last winter, while I was driving him home, he started naming things he likes. Peter likes bubble tea and video games and his cat. I like sunrises and caramel hard candies and my cat. We went back and forth like that, just saying things that made us happy, barreling through the bitter Minneapolis January until we reached his front door. Earlier that night, I’d told him too much (again.) And, as he has more times than I can count, more times than I’ll ever deserve, he forgave me for it, kindly.

I hope that next time I find myself with less to tell. I hope I find myself with less to apologize for. I hope he keeps forgiving me until I do. Good, sweet Peter, who has loved me through the things he’s seen and the things he hasn’t. The things I’ve told him too much about and the things he knows without me saying. I won’t hope to sit with Peter on his bad days the way he’s done for me because I never want Peter to have bad days. Instead, I will hope to surprise him the way he surprises me, with kindness and sweetness and patience given without being asked for. But I know that’s impossible, because I’ll never surprise him with anything. He knows me too well. So I try, and keep trying, to be the friend he deserves: a dedicated listener. Someone who sends snail mail more often than I do, because he got gift giving on the love languages quiz. Someone who calls drunk less and sober more. And I hope that how much I love him, the wide open sea of it, can be one more thing he knows without my saying it. There’s just too much to say. And, because it’s easy, there’s nothing to say at all.

[elecalice]

[VENT] "The Collateral Damage of Love"

Full Image Below

TW// ABUSE AND GROOMING

I posted this drawing that I made on 2023 on DeviantART, but I forgot to post it here. That's because I wasn't unsure to post this here. I felt unsure to post this because... It's a really sensible drawing for me.

That's because this vent art reminiscing of my failures towards love, in any forms. Not just romantic, although It was a significant part of it.

The first one, we were unexperienced (it was literally our first romantic relationship) and had a wrong idea on how to love. So it became "overly-sweet" (Or "Empalagoso" in Spanish, which is the best way to describe it) who were constantly saying "I love you" all the time. And we didn't do much like talk other things outside of love. We were so inmature at that time. I'm thankful that we're better as friends than lovers, and we're still friends to this day.

The second one, was my abusive ex. I already told what happened between me and him in a blog entry as well as the vent art "Slave". I became his emotional punching bag, he was SO self-destructive it was affecting me psychologically and emotionally. I tried to told him to get help and get better, and he said that he was going to be better, but he continued those self-destructive attitudes for years, to the point that it became difficult for me to cry for him, but I became shaky due to the amount of stress I had to deal with. And it even generated those painful white spots on my mouth. (I just remembered that he made a discussion because I ended up sleep-texting to him because I was dealing with stress due to high school) Yes. There was moments he made good stuff for me, but it was not worth the pain I had to endure for years. As well as, me being unexperienced with love and he having multiple partners before me, said a lot of the power dynamics. (as well as the 3-year-gap but yeah...)

And also... there was another person related to him. He used to be his best friend, but he was more protective towards me, since I told him about the horrible relationship I was in. He was one of my most trusted "best friends". He actually listened to my special interests, he was interested on those, we also did RPs, especially since I love doing RPs (and still do!)

But he also groomed me. He got SO sexual towards me, and we even did sexual RPs and even commented how horny he gets towards me. I don't want to tell more information about it, the more I realized this, the more I felt awful. (Especially towards one series of sexual RPs we did that were TOO ALARMING in retrospective. I used to be secretly SO horny due to accidentally going on Danbooru when I was 13 years old, which I now realized that I got took advantanged of him because of that... sigh me. I'm a complete massive idiot...)

The things is that he was 7-8 years older than me, and I didn't knew that until 2023, when I asked his nephew how old he was, and we were equally shocked to that information. He died on late 2020, even if I hoped he could recover. He died of cancer. His death killed my hope, and It was one of the main reasons why I became a doomer and got into my dark age. But after realizing this and freeing of my abusive ex, I... still need to reflect on that. That "best friend" loved me, after all. But he was too horny and he used the "my penis will hurt me a lot if I don't 'liberate'" excuse... (I remember watching a video about grooming and when that excuse showed as one of the excuses groomers use to make their victims continue the sexual attitude, I screamed internally and later scream at a pillow since that's EXACTLY what he did and I felt HORRIBLE afterwards)

But all of these, remembering these failures... I remembered my bad moments of those relationships, my failures...

And I thought I didn't deserved to be in a relationship. I thought I was going to be alone, and I would run away of the idea of being in a relationship.

Thankfully, I don't have philophobia (the fear of love) and I feel secure on the idea of love. Especially since I'm healing and, after all, I was a victim.

The first ex, again, he's the cool one. We're still friends to this day.

My second ex and the dead groomer... I don't want to come back to that.

Hence that's why I initially hesitated on posting this. But... I posted on DA, I had to post it here.