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#an not that I'm innocent completely I'm always fucking shit up
beloved-diary · 1 year
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My girlfriend is very sweet. An i really do like them but i know im fucking up the relationship my just my fears afrom my last relationship. To be fair i think its expected of me. Personally if course that would happen. Is it fair, no. Is it a realistic thing people who suffered from an abusicr relationship? Yes. ,(its very odd calling it abusive btw. I was aware to an extent. But its weird having someone whose in the system/close to my ex call it that. I really appreciate it. It feels very validating.) Sometimes i feel punished for being wary, which is something they also feel an i get.
Not that i think their my ex, just that this stuff has been pretty fucking ruined for me. Regardless dating her or someone else definitely this would of been an issue. Which is smth i feel like is slightly overlooked. Not that i blame them. I think it's understandable an im just trying to comfort them about it. I made them cry when they talked about it an i wanted to fucking kms. I feel sorry on making my partner cry about such a thing.
Though i do think wanting to hold back financially an doing??? Service?( unsure of the word rn) is not something that is bad to ask. When i said that it got a fairly bad respond an it makes me just feel a bit shitty. An question intentions. An i know shes not using me. But i also dont understand why it had such a bad response. I need to rebuild my savings. I need to not do as much as i did kn the last relationship. At least in the beginning of ours. I really want it to be mutusl. Not because rheir my ex, because im just setting myseld up for disaster if i do.
She told me before to prove im serious about her an not going to break up with her after 3 weeks an mentioned my situation with M as a reason. I'm not gonna cry to much about it. I do plan too. But i feel majorly miss understood about that. I love M an i kniw he does too. But sometimes its just a bit to much hearint how he loves my ex an how my ex is a good person, even when i tapk about it. Its glazed over, veey much ignored. Not that i blame him. Just that i don't think its insane of me to think that. Maybe our circumstances our different. But i dont think i should be punished for holding everyone to a standard of friends an having respect for me an others. Especially about my situation. They have been understanding regardless. But i hate the lack of ??? Understanding an processing sometimes. For most of mt relationship with all kf them my feelings an my struggling has been overlooked. Because well i suppose us first mentallily which i get. But im human an it really hurts regardless. Im your partner, im your friend, im your besfriend. But i feel a nagging feeling that despite them actually loving me I'm just lower on the tier. Their love for him ir suppose loyalty will always come first. Which sucks. But i suppose i really walkeed into that. I unfortunately do not have that built into me as much an i wish i did. An im also jealous that hes able ti have such people in his life. An they saw this. The whole time. My gf says he's abusive, that i was abused. Yet its only something hes doing something about it NOW. It feels like now that they like me romancally they care enough. Which really fuckinh hurts an confuses me. An its been a thing of telling me to be quiet about it. Which i get. But it's a bit insenstivd. Be the bigger person. He's just a kid. I'm hurt, very so. I think theirs consequences an i don't like the sheltering.
An thats not just them. Its everyone. Unsure why the people closes to me are content with this. Is he jusr more likable? Which im sure is D's reasoning too lol. It's nothing new at this point. Do you think I'm actually abused? Or are these words to just appease me? You say thinks but actions don't line up. I really hope things are different. But she's mentioned breaking up an it just feels hopeless.
I'm gonna fuck up .y dream girl with my issuas but. I don't think its a lot to ask for.
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imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here
i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual
#most of his indirects on twitter are from people in diff asian countries as well and ik he's doing an asia tour soon(?)#bruh he's never coming back to the usa is he 😭😭😭 i need him in chicago i miss him so bad#i feel very ugly emotionally rn still bc i was reading all of the rando ass dating rumors of him last night LMAO and it pissed me off#i know i have no right to get mad and i'm being irrational but at the same time like. everyone is just like 'omg he's so in love rn'#bc his music has been very angsty and like. idk... conflicted? but his new song was very happy and sweet and very In Love Sounding#and i already know all his music is about one person bc he always talks about the same shit (he's very predictable i see right thru him)#and he's putting out a new song called 'shining' and he has been talking abt a person being his light/shining on him for the last 7yrs atp#so like. that's how i know it's about one specific person and i don't think he has moved on LMAOOO so unless he was dating the same random#7yrs ago i don't think he's dating any of the people they bring up tbh... i pay attention to these things not to brag or anything but like#being attentive to the people i love and noticing inconsistincies in their behavior and when they act diff is like. the only skill i have#at least irt other people LMAO like honestly i wrote all the lyrics he ever wrote down in a google doc and it shows a clear trajectory#that starts like... innocently and just gets more fucked up and toxic as it goes. and ppl say he's one of the most sane ppl they know#meanwhile he's been writing songs about 1 person for nearly 10 years and they get progressively more desperate and insane#I'M JUST SAYING. i completely forgot what my original point was but i guess it was most likely that. no one pays attention to him like i do#the songs started being about this person at the same time i started liking him and having dreams about meeting him btw#and they got progessively more uh. spiteful and desperate and weird as the years went on. did i mention i cast a spell on him 😐#and he literally says shit like 'it's impossible for me to move on' 'i don't care about anyone else' 'it's like i'm possessed' etc#and after we met at his concert he got really into saying shit like 'that one night wasn't enough' and 'the spotlight between us'#&the ever-famous 'i like the way you look at me' 'my eyes are on you' 'focus on me just look at me' when all i did was look at him all night#if you're reading this right now and thinking 'celeste do you seriously believe a kpop guy has been writing songs about you for 7 years?'#you should remember who i am and how i reacted to ***** having a gf (that i guessed exactly right months before he revealed it)#i'm schizophrenic 🤷‍♀️ but the guy i'm into was the one who started my fascination with soulmates and destiny and fate and shit like that#you know it's funny i mention that because he also started writing about that!!!!! in his songs!!! crazy#and he talks about the person making it hard for him to sleep and wanting to meet them in his dreams again and whathaveyou#i mean even in his two newest title tracks he says 'i'm frustrated in the studio the only melody that comes out is for you' and#'i want to turn everything about you into a song' in the newest one... hm.#and btw he announced his album right when i admitted i was in love with him again to my family (they know my insanity LMAO)#and he releases a song about being happy and in love and listening for someone's voice from far away to reach him/vice versa?????#right when i get back into him???#it's my fave color & his fave color & he's releasing it in my birth month like. i know billions of coincidences are a thing but it's crazy
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kooqitas · 6 months
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— playing in the park lot ★ with: jjk!
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#pairings: bf!jungkook X reader #synopsis: after getting a little too angry at a random guy wanting his girlfriend, jungkook decides to give him a present. #tags: pwp, angry sex, public sex, no condom, spit kink, both drunk. #notes: JUST STREAM HOPE ON THE STREET! #wc: 1,4k blog em português X twitter
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"no, don't even start, jungkook!" you muttered as soon as you saw your boyfriend staring at the guy on the other side, bringing the beer bottle to his mouth and swallowing the liquid in visible hatred.
"i'm not starting anything! the guy over there has no respect and is eating you with his eyes," muttered, still staring at the man.
"half the party is also staring at you and eating you up with their eyes, and that's not why i'm freaking."
"of course not, you like this shit!" he said loudly, pulling your waist against his.
don't take this the wrong way, jungkook was the perfect boyfriend, he cared for you too much, he'd face a bullet for you or whatever, he just fucking loved you and wanted to protect you from everything and everyone.
but sometimes he went overboard, and that was one of the times.
god, jungkook was completely irritated just because a guy looked at you from afar, and yes, you knew it wasn't an innocent look, but you just ignored it.
"do i like that shit?" you asked offended. "jungkook, if I wanted to fuck with another guy, i would have done it a long time ago." you rolled your eyes, continuing to roll around to the music that was playing. "relax, baby, hm? you know i'm just yours, don't you?"
you stood on your tiptoes, trying to give your annoyed boyfriend a kiss, but it didn't do much good, jungkook was actually angry about the situation, god, how could anyone be so stupid?
for the next few seconds, your boyfriend finally calmed down a bit, continuing to dance with you. that was one of the things you liked most about jungkook, he wasn't the kind of guy who held your waist and expected you to roll around on him all night, he just drove you crazy with him. pressing his hips against yours, rubbing his cock in your body, dancing with jungkook was begging to get wet in his arms, and you liked it that.
due to the large amount of alcohol you had consumed, the need to go to the bathroom became apparent, so you left, heading for the bathroom and leaving jungkook on the dance floor.
you waited a few minutes, the waiting line was infinitely long and peeing yourself silly was always an event.
a comical event, by the way.
but as soon as you'd finished, washed your hands and touched up your lipstick in the mirror, you left the bathroom, looking for your boyfriend on the dance floor.
or at least trying to, since a large hand grabbed your waist.
and you knew that hand wasn't your boyfriend.
"hey, kitten, decided to give your boyfriend a break, have you?"
"don't touch m-"
you didn't even get to finish, because the next second jungkook was punching the face of the guy who tried to kiss you.
and that's the story of how you and jungkook got kicked out of the club.
shit.
"there's no point in getting angry, jungkook! i didn't do anything."
silence.
"fuck, aren't you going to say anything?"
his boyfriend didn't answer, keeping silent all the way to the parking lot where the car was.
and that's where you got angry. fuck, it could have been anyone's fault but yours, you'd done absolutely nothing.
"jungkook, it's not my fault you're a lunatic who doesn't know how to socialize in public, stop acting like i did something." you pulled him by his arm, spitting the words in his face.
"you knew he was dying to fuck you."
"and what the hell do i have to do with it? literally the only person who fucks me in this world is you, shit! if i wanted to give it to another guy i would have given it to him ages ago, now, if you're going to get angry about something that didn't even happen, maybe i should go back inside and fuck with him!" you shouted.
you didn't even see how it happened, but the next minute jungkook's body was pressing you down on the hood of the car, his wet tongue making a mess of your mouth and his hard cock rubbing against you as he pulled your skirt up roughly.
"jung-jungkook, the cameras." you tried to say, the words being swallowed by the mouth on yours.
"now you care if anyone can see you?" he laughed. "you don't want to fuck, sweetheart? you're going to fuck me right here, right now!"
it would be a lie to say that it didn't turn you on, unfortunately that was a truth you were forced to deal with, jungkook's jealousy made you horny, very horny, and the insanities he committed after a crisis gave you the best orgasms ever seen in the history of the face of the earth.
in the process of lifting your skirt, he ended up breaking the zipper, and too irritated, he just ripped the strap of your thin blouse, exposing your breasts there as he leaned over the hood and started sucking on your nipples.
his nimble hand went to your wet hole, rubbing his middle finger over the lace panties you were wearing. yes, it was a fact that you intended to end the night with jungkook's cock inside you.
you just didn't count on the element of surprise that it would happen to him in the parking lot of the club.
"that dirty little cunt got wet seeing me jealous, didn't it? go ahead, whore, you love it when other guys get desperate to cum in you and i get angry."
without any warning he penetrated your middle and ring fingers, quickly establishing a punishing rhythm while biting and sucking on your nipples.
you moaned something disconnected, your boyfriend looked so handsome with rage and that made you even hornier.
a third finger was added and with your loud scream jungkook took the opportunity to spit in your mouth, slapping you across the face immediately afterwards.
it was pathetic how he put you over the edge in such a short time, and it was only a matter of seconds before you screamed that you were going to come on his fingers.
but he wouldn't let you.
jungkook flipped you onto your back in an aggressive way, the cold metal of the car in contact with the nipples of your breasts was enough to make you cum, but everything got even better when jungkook put his thick cock in your cunt, slamming it hard against you while bending your body even more on the hood of the car.
"my cockslut, you're such a beautiful little whore for me, baby. let me fuck your hot little hole right here where everyone can see you."
and you contracted hearing those words.
"you like it, don't you? desperate for your man to fill your pussy with my cum, you'll take anything i want, right?"
the heavy hand slapping against your ass, leaving red marks, while you drooled on the hood of the car because you couldn't even close your mouth.
"i'd like to take you back inside and spurt in your pussy in front of everyone. you'd love it, wouldn't you? everyone seeing that you're so desperate for cock that you'll accept me fucking you anywhere."
"j-jungkook!" you moaned, and your boyfriend understood what that moan was all about.
jungkook moved his middle finger to your clitoris, making relaxed movements while he thrust into you, calling you a whore, a slut, a bitch. you could only moan.
and when he pressed your face even harder against the side of the car, you came, so hard that Jungkook came right after, filling your hole with his warm liquid.
"good, baby, you were so good! so perfect for me…"
you smiled, feeling good about your recent orgasm.
"shhh, hold on, don't get up yet!" jungkook took his cell phone out of his pocket, squatting down to record a short video of you lying on the hood of the car and leaking his cum. "so beautiful, so fucking mine, i love you so much, princess."
jungkook kissed your back, and as you lifted your head you saw that he was staring at a specific point in the parking lot.
the guy who hit on you was watching everything from the other side.
your boyfriend laughed before helping you into your clothes, or at least what was left of them…
he blew a lazy kiss to the man who was staring at everything and opened the car door.
"you're bad, jungkook!" you laughed.
"me? fuck, princess, you're the one who agreed to give it to me this cunt in the middle of the parking lot."
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lizthewriter · 8 months
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get him back! / theodore nott
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PAIRING  theodore nott x fem!reader
SUMMARY  after playboy mattheo riddle dumps you for another girl, your best friend motivates you to get the best revenge - be the girl he would always want, but could never have. you take things to the extreme when theodore nott offers you a deal you can't say no to. PART 2 HERE
TAGS  theodore nott x fem!reader, past!mattheo riddle x fem!reader, modern!au, university!au, ginny is your best friend, fake dating, college parties, gluna / linny, part 2?
QUOTE  "yeah i pour my little heart out, / but as i'm hitting send, / i picture all the faces of my dissappointed friends, / because everyone knew all of the shit that he'd do, / he said i was the only girl but that just wasn't the truth," - get him back! by olivia rodrigo
WORD COUNT 2.2K
WRITTEN  12.15.2023
hey, mattheo, how are you? i know it's been a while but i thought i'd -
No. What the hell are you doing? You hold the backspace, watching as the words you had just typed out disappeared. This was ridiculous - you couldn't keep doing this. Ginny would be so dissappointed in you. He had cheated on you, multiple times. He had spent all his time flirting with other girls. He lied to you and then his apologies were just fancy, elaborate gifts soaked in wealth and champagne. How could you still want him, need him, so viscerally?
"What are you doing?" You threw your phone over to your bed and turned around to face Ginny with a sickeningly-sweet grin.
"What? Nothing," you responded innocently. She narrowed her eyes at you in suspicion and made her way over to your bed, picking up your phone and glancing at the screen. You had forgotten to turn it off. Shit.
"Oh come on, seriously? Riddle? That douchebag?" She asked incredulously, sending you one of her famous looks of dissappointment. You got up and snatched your phone from her hand, only to crash on your bed.
"I know, I know," you responded with whine. "And I hate him too . . . but I miss him." You snatched one of your pillows and planted your face into it. The muffled scream was still louder than it ought to be, making Ginny cringe, but still rather satisfying. You let out a huff of breath. "I don't know what to do. I want to punch him in the face but at the same time . . . I want to kiss his stupid fucking face. That piece of shit."
You stared at his picture and let out a sigh. He was so damn complicated.
Ginny snatched your phone from you yet again. "All right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to come up with a plan to make Mattheo Riddle the most jealous man on the planet and in the process, find you someone new and much better. All right?"
You groaned. The thought of it sounded exhausted, but even you had to admit that there was a certain appeal to showing up at some party he was at, dressed to the nines, and bringing home another guy all while he watched. You sat up and stared at Ginny, before hesitantly saying, ". . . Go on."
-
"I know darling it's upsetting, darling, but . . . you're just not my kind of girl."
The words rang out in your head as you stood before a large mansion belonging to one of the many wealthy students at your campus. Cars were parked around the enormous driveway and the music from inside was booming so loudly that your could feel your bones vibrate with the beat.
Ginny slipped her arm through yours and flashed you one of her adventurous smiles. "Cheer up - you're going to be the prettiest girl they ever did see," Ginny said mockingly, pinching your cheeks. You barked out a laugh, playfully shoving her arm away.
"You sound like some posh grandma."
"But I'm your posh grandma," Ginny responded with a pout as you two began to climb the stone steps to the completely open front door. (I mean, seriously, who leaves the door to their house open? It's like they're asking to be robbed.)
The music steadily became louder upon approach, making it almost impossible to hear your own voice as you entered. The sleek wooden floors were bathed in a variety of disco lights, an odd contrast in comparison to the lovely home that looked like it belonged to some stuffy old Oxford professor.
"Hello ladies," said a jubilant man leaning against the doorframe leading to the foyer. He looked Ginny up and down before pushing himself off the wall and approaching Ginny. "Lovely to see you again." He sent a wink Ginny's way, which she responded to with a playful roll of her eyes. You finally recognized him - he was a sports major, friends with some of her older brothers. Lee, you remembered his name was. He was a flirt - he had tried with you once, when you were with Mattheo. It didn't end so well for him.
"I'm glad to see your nose is doing better, Jordan," you spoked with a friendly smile.
He pinched it and then looked down at his hand. "Good as new, I suppose, but there's still a scar on my heart," he claimed dramatically, walking wistfully away with the expression of a lovelorn, heartbroken lead in a Victorian drama. You and Ginny giggled and delved further into the lion's den. Numerous people greeted you, but especially Ginny (she had always been the popular one). A paticular boy, Harry, had his eye on her for quite some time. You wouldn't be one to say he was unattractive - he was fairly pretty. He was a Criminal Justice major and a pretty nice guy from your understanding. But you knew Ginny wasn't interested.
When Ginny stopped walking, you did too, as your arms were intertwined. You followed her line of sight and smirked at what - well, who - she was staring at. A wistfully odd girl with pale blonde hair down to her waist and an odd sort of dress adorning her body. People gave her odd looks, whispering to their friends. Why is she here? No one likes her.
You nudged Ginny multiple times to grab her attention once more. "Hey, you can go on without me. I'll be fine."
"What? No! I'm not abandoning you, you're my best friend and -"
"Go," you insisted. "I promise, I'll be fine."
She looked rather torn, glancing between the two of you before stomping her feet and letting out a groan. "I hate you," she whined.
"I hate you too," you responded with a grin. You turned her around, your hands on her shoulders, and pushed in her in the general direction of one eccentric Luna Lovegood. "Now go! Don't worry about me, we've been planning this for days!"
"Good luck!" She shouted at you before she disappeared into the sea of people. A few moments later, after much difficultly trying to see her, you saw her chatting up the girl. All right, my turn, you thought.
You scoured the room - you wouldn't say you were the most introverted person in the world, but you definitely weren't the most outgoing either. You needed to find someone who would really pull at Mattheo's nerves, make those prominent veins pop out of his head. You wanted him to feel the anger and the pain that you felt. You wanted to get him back!
There was no one on the bottom floor that caught your eye, so you climbed the stairs to where the more . . . elegant students were. (Rich, more like.)
They weren't anymore sophisticated than the people downstairs, but there was still that air of refinement that made you feel slightly out of place. You wandered around the many rooms for a bit before you found a kitchen (they had one upstairs and downstairs?) Grabbing a drink, you wandered around some more, making friendly conversations with some of your peers. As you were talking with Neville, a very kind boy from one of your general education courses, someone in paticular caught your eye and everything clicked.
Theodore Nott. He was the son to a rather rich Italian man, the CEO of one of the most well-known designer shoe brands in Europe. His mother died rather unfortunately of illness at a young age. He's been very prominent, especially in recent years. He's been a model for his father's company, he was in the top 5% of your class, and he's - well - he's known as the most handsome boy in your year.
You definitely weren't going to deny that - he was drop-dead gorgeous. His eyes were so . . . alluring. Dark and sexy, a pool of emotions shrouded by mystery. Okay, so maybe you were going far too overboard with your description of him, but for the love of God, was he attractive.
Somehow, he could feel your gaze upon him. He had been sitting on a couch, telling a story to a tight-knit group of friends, Mattheo included you noticed, that you had taken your eyes off of him. You felt embarrassed, pretended to look around the room, and then turned your attention back towards Neville with an encouraging smile that pretended that you had been listening to him rant all along.
"Excuse me," you heard Nott say, standing up from the couch. The champagne flute in his hand was rather empty so you deduced that he was probably going to go fill it. An educated guess, but an incorrect one. He did something you never expected. He approached you.
"Longbottom, I hear Greengrass has a question about a Geo-sci class you two share. She seemed rather distressed by it. I'm sure she'd appreciate your help," Theo told Neville - you glanced at Daphne Greengrass. She looked nowhere near distressed, but Neville perked up in excitement.
"R-really?" He asked nervously, wringing his hands. He gave you a sheepish smile. "Talk to you later, I've got to go help Daphne."
"Yeah, see you later Nev," you replied. Nott looked down at you for a moment before raising his glass.
"It seems we're both in need of a refill. Care to join me?" His expression was nothing more than emotionless, except perhaps the tiniest smirk that remained upon those rose-dusted lips. You shrugged nonchalantly, only just noticing the vacancy in your glass.
"Sure, why not?"
You followed a quite Theodore Nott to the kitchen again, where he poured himself champagne from a very specialized fridge unit filled with distinguished bottles of liquor - merlot and pinot noir and all those fancy alcohols you would have assumed people like him drank. He silently offered you some by tipping the bottle towards you. You offered him your glass, which he poured a fair amount in, not too much, not too little. Just right.
"I'm suprised to see you here."
You arched a brow in response as he took a light sip from the flute resting in a delicate balance between his two fingers. Precariously, a smile dained your face. "And why is that?"
"Your Riddle's ex-girl, aren't you?"
He asked in such a way that seemed as though he didn't care much at all.
The smile from your face disappeared, replaced by something much more bitter. You shrugged, but the action was much more passive-agressive than you had intended it to be. "So what? Does that mean something to you?"
He placed the flute down, the glass clinking against the marble countertop. "Riddle and I have a . . . complicated relationship."
"You mean, your dear old daddies are both relevant, rival shoe designers?" You said it so innocently. Nott smirked at you.
"Yeah, something like that. Listen," he leaned in close to you, leaning his arms against the counter in an attempt to lower himself to your level. He was rather lanky and tall, which you supposed was good for a model, but hard for when you want to actually talk to him. "You and I both want something from him."
"And what's that, Nott?" You asked with mock curiosity, placing your chin in the palm of your hands with a tilt of your head.
"Well, let's just say you didn't come here tonight, dressed like that, in the hopes that he would fuck you," he responded, quite bluntly. Well, you supposed that sort of honesty was an inherited trait. "Everyone knows what went down between you two - he aired out your dirty laundry for all to see. No, you came back here to get revenge."
"Astute," you said with a tone of disdain. Taking a sip of your champagne, you found that it actually had a much more delightful taste than any other alcohol you had. You smacked down the glass on the countertop. "Really, Nott, thanks for that." You began to leave but Theo grabbed you by the arm.
"Wait! Just . . . listen," he said, panting slightly. His brows were scrunchdd together in frustration - he seemed genuinely distressed. The only reason you stayed was because you realized something rather odd.
You turned towards him with furrowed brows. "Is Theodore Nott . . . desperate for something?" You asked with a disbelieving scoff. At the sight of his jaw clenching, his eyes avoiding yours, you let out a shocked laugh.
"Shut it," he muttered, sending you a dark glare.
"Now that's certainly out of character," you said, slugging off his iron grip. "All right, you've got my attention. What is it?"
"My father's been trying to score one over Riddle for years. Rumor is Mattheo's father wants him to marry a good woman, someone that won't tarnish his son's so-called good reputation. And well, you . . . slipped through his fingers like sand. Stealing him from you would make my father more . . . proud."
You crinkled up your nose. "You're not proposing to me, are you? Cause the answer is no."
"No, no. I'm just asking you to date me, at least for a bit."
The sound of it seemed ridiculous, but then you thought - you were both getting something out of it. It was nothing more than a partnership, and a good one at that. Either way, you'd be pulling one over Mattheo and that would be good enough for you.
"How much is 'for a bit'?"
-
"Everyone." Theo had walked back into the room, you snuggled comfortably into his arms. He had tapped a fork against his glass, gathering the attention of his friends. Mattheo's jaw dropped, the hand swung around some girl you had seen around slithering it's way back to his side. "I want to introduce you to my girlfriend."
That's right, you smug snake. I win.
part two coming soon . . . <3
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moonastroellie · 4 months
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I have been thinking about an all girls boarding school scenario with ellie where her and reader are roommates and reader is just like peak fertile period and she needs to get off but her roommate, ellie, is literally on the other side of the room
I'm literally fucking drooling about the thought of this, of course!! I AIN'T WEIRD SO READER ANS ELLIE GOT SEET BACK A YEAR SO THEY ARE BOTH 19!
CW: 18+ (mdni), transgender Ellie, breeding kink, self masturbation (r), slight degradation, slightly loser!ellie near the end, lmk if I missed anything
-
You had moved to an all girl's boarding school because your parents claimed you were "straying away from god" and that this "would help you feel better" your parents were religious but obviously you weren't- always thinking the most sinful things about your hot roomie Ellie fucking Williams
"mhm, fuck-" you whimpered out as you worked wonders on your clit while Ellie was out, praying she wouldn't come home anytime soon- so unbelievably wet due to your period being due in a few days, you needed to make a fucking baby.
Your body jerked as you felt yourself start to come undone, your pussy drooling, clit twitching- but who got you like this? That was your question, it wasn't the hot cheerleaders you hung out with. It wasn't your best friend Dina, it was Ellie—a girl so innocent and so fucking shy.
"s-shit, oh fuck fuck fuck fuck Ellie- fuck" you whimpered out, but immediately came to a stop as you heard the door of the dorm opening- quickly pulling your hand out of your soaked panties and acting like you weren't just whimpering her name like a fucking slut.
Fuck if only she came back 5 minutes later..
"sup" she says, pulling her jacket off- you squeezed your legs together as you looked at the slight bulge in her baggy jeans.... Of course, you're fucking ovulating-
You were so fucking horny and you needed this gone.
"you good?" She chuckles, looking at you, she notices you slightly moving your legs together for some friction- she tilts her head and bites her lip "you horny?"
"mhm" you nod innocently, fuck.
"come here" she says, sitting down and patting her leg indicating for you to sit on her lap- you get up from your bed completely defeated and straddle her hips, you look at her eyes and she smirks.
"what were you doing?" She pushes her bulge into your clothed pussy and a whine escapes your lips "don't lie" she adds on.
She brings her hand to your cheek and pushes it slightly so she can kiss your neck, your eyes roll back and she chuckles, sending vibrations all down your neck and spine.
"i was- touching myself" you grind down into her dick, to get some sort of friction to soothe the ache between your legs.
"if you're okay with it, lay on the bed?" You agree and lay on the bed so quickly, she moves on top of you and kisses all up your neck and grinds herself into your aching pussy, you let out a whimper and Ellie chuckles again...
"what were you thinking about? Where you worried I'd come home and see you touching yourself like a slut?" Her voice is low, but so fucking hot.
"I was thinking about you- fuck- I-" you stutter, "oh, poor babies stuttering, show me how you were touching yourself baby" she teases, your pussy clenches and you hide your face away in the pillow "come on baby, I know you can" she pulls a strain of hair behind your ear and turns your face to look her in the eyes- you whimper and nod, she moves off you and takes off her jeans exposing her hard dick under her boxers.
You move your small hand under your panties, and move one to expose your boob- you bite your lip and hold back a moan as you touch your clit, fuck she was aching for Ellie.
You whimper as you tease your clit, making her twitch.
"good fucking girl" Ellie coos, watching you masturbate right next to her...
"Ellie" you whimper, looking up at her with doe eyes "mhm?" She replies, "need you in me" she groans loudly.
"you want me to fuck you?" She questions, you nod "yes, please"
"fuck baby- I don't have a condom" she says, and you whine, pulling your hand out of your panties and touching her dick- it was so fucking hard, you stroke up it slowly and she groans.
"need you to get me pregnant, please Ellie, please" you beg her, she finally caves in.
-
"oh! Fuck! Ellie, fuck, harder please" you moan as Ellie fucks you hard from behind, the pace unbearable, she slows down her thrusts and grabs your hair pushing you down into the pillow as she groans loudly at the feeling of your pussy clenching down on her.
"this what you needed? Hm, fuck, needed me to fuck your silly and fuck a baby into you like the slut you are?" You moan loudly "yeah, you're a fucking slut... Gonna fuck the shit out of you- fuck" she groans as she grabs your hips to guide you backwards onto her dick.
She toys with your clit, making you moan louder, chanting her name like a whore. You couldn't stop fucking moaning, you felt so fucking close. You were too close, Ellie knew this and slowed down the pace so you could cum on her dick.
"gonna get you fucking pregnant" she moans, you feel yourself about to unravel
"Ellie! Ellie please m'gonna cum!" You moan out, "oh fuck yes yes cum on my dick" she stays the same pace.
Fuck, who knew she knew how to pleasure you so good, and make you feel so fucking good?
"oh fuck" you moan out, as you clench around her dick- finally cumming all over her, she whimpers loudly as she cums in you and continues to fuck you through your high and her own...
"you're a slut" she teases, smacking your ass and making you yelp.... "Gonna suck me clean at least?"
You turn around to see her innocent looking face, her dick still so hard- veins that run up to the tip of her dick, you nod and she lays down in bed and you rest your head between her thighs.
Sucking the tip so delicately, she holds your hair into a makeshift pony tail.
She moans loudly as you take her whole length "just like that, fuckkkkkk-"
"fuck, I'm gonna cum" she groans, holding your hair still and out of your face as you suck harder-
She chants your name as she cums in your mouth, she came so hard you're sure everyone at the school could hear her...
"you're such a good girl - fuck, thought you were innocent but yet here you are you fucking whore"
You giggle and hide away in her neck as she massages your arm .
"guess there's no need for your bed anymore huh?"
-
A/n: thank you all for the requests!! I am slowly making my way through them but there are so many! Keep sending them my way!!
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1800jjbarnes · 1 year
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◇ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟗 : 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 ◇
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Pure Relaxation
【Synopsis】 : Bucky kept getting lost over and over again. Becoming increasingly more frustrated with the technology in front of him as time passes, it's a good thing you are here to help him cool off.
『W.C』 :  703
-> Genre: Suggestive, Fluff. Gamer Au.
Pairing: Avengers!Bucky x Girlfriend!Reader
[Warnings] : Angry Bucky. Fingering. Mention of sex. Sweet intimacy. Swearing.
Masterlist | Kinktober List
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This was a terrible idea… Actually, scratch that, it was a sinisterly great idea and holy shit were you internally screaming at Bucky for suggesting such an idea. He had always said that he wanted to try to be more physically intimate since he is not the one to normally show physical affection. And you being a touch-starved person, how could you ever deny the touch of your lover? He was sitting in his room on his office chair. He and the others were all doing there mission reports for the month and Bucky suggested you to come cuddle him while he does it.
At first, it seemed innocent, you were koala hugging him, with your legs sitting bent either side of him. Every now and again you felt him wrap his arms around you to give you a hug or draw shapes along your spine. You were in complete bliss, even tempting to fall asleep. But when it was like a switch went off and Bucky. He kept losing his focus, huffing out every time he saw something he didn't understand. stupid computers. Stupid technology. He was getting frustrated as the moments passed and needed something to help him cool down…
Or someone.
“Come on baby, Before Tony calls me and asks why I'm not doing my work.” Bucky mumbled annoyed at the fact you had a timer built into the computers so he could yell people for not doing the work in a efficient manor. He helped you prepare for him. His fingers were deep inside you as he whispered nothing but sweet things in your ear. You were a whining mess wanting so badly to come undone all over his fingers. “Such a god girl.”
“J-James..” Your grinding hips start to stutter getting yourself tip over the edge. You came hard, feeling your liquids pool around your lover's fingers. He wasted no time in pulling them out and placing them in his mouth. He hummed at the taste wanting nothing more than to sit here for hours and fuck you, but instead, he promised to do this stupid report he doesn’t even want to do in the first place.
“Now for the fun part Honey.” he gripped his cock, stroking himself painfully slow before using his other hand to help you sit up so his tip was pushing against your dripping wet entrance. “Come on baby, take a seat.”
You sank down onto his thick dick, feeling him fill you up deliciously. Your hips automatically start to grind but his hands suddenly grip your hips tightly stopping you. Your eyes snap open to look at him, seeing his features were painted with a frustrated but sternness You sighed, silently apologizing, leaning down to press your body against his, laying your head on his board chest. His fingers rake up your naked form, calming you down before he groans “Don’t worry I’ll fuck you later.”
And so the hour begins, trying to sit still, and not grind against him and every time he got frustrated, you felt your cock twitch inside you, making you feel like you were going to combust. He wasn’t any better, every time he got angry he’d trust upwards into you so he could calm himself and it partially worked, but now all he wanted to do was fuck you into next week.
But once the next hour passed and then another a different form of desire began to brew. A need for intimacy. You were falling asleep, feeling a wave of comfort and peacefulness being so close to Bucky. You felt safe from him being nestled deep inside you. It was like your heart was opened to him and his, for you. Even after you fell deep asleep and he was done with his game. Neither of you wanted to move.
But to save yourselves from aching muscles later, Bucky picked you up, slipping out of you for only a moment before laying you down on the bed where he could let you cuddle up next to him while he sank back into you. No words were spoken, no eye contact was present. Your bodies did all the talking and as your limbs tangled around one another, you both knew this would become one of your favourite things to do.
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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Chapter 21: Try to Understand
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Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter twenty one of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 7.5K
Warnings: I'm gonna go 18+, I'm not sure that it needs it, but I'm still gonna do it. Angst, Talks of pregnancy, Talks of possible abortion, Cursing, Fluff, Sexual References, Graphic Nightmare?, FLUFF, Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situations, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
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Soldier Boy POV
After his shower, you still haven't come back from talking to Rosemary, and Ben decides that instead of eavesdropping on your conversation, he's going to go to the kitchen and get a drink. He knows exactly where Legend hides the good shit, mostly because Legend hid it to keep it away from Ben in the first place. And despite it happening forty years ago, nothing in Legend's house had changed. Ben had many memories of this house, at least two Herogasms had been hosted here, hell, Ben had memories in the room you two were sharing, but he kept them to himself.
The last thing he wanted was for you to think about any of the things that happened in the past, not when you had told him that he had made it up to you, not when you had held him close after all these years and whispered things to him that he always wanted you to say, and not when he was more happy than he'd ever been.
You said that you forgave him, Ben understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to stop making it up to you every day and it didn't mean that he was going to stop making you happy, because after all these years you were still the only thing he wanted, and he refused to lose you ever again.
He glances at the empty bottle on the nightstand, the one that you brought with you last night and the same bottle the two of you finished together.
He was surprised when you said you stopped drinking, but not completely. You'd only drunk socially as a supe, and Ben hadn't seen you drunk since the two of you were kids. He knew it was because you didn't want to lose control like he did.
Ben stutters on the memory of what happened in Mid-town, and what happened forty years ago when he threw a car through a house and killed an innocent bystander. Ben didn't believe he was a bad guy, he was a hero or- the memories of all the moments he lost control began to seep though the cracks- at least he thought he was.
His mind drifts back to you. You were always in control. The one time he'd ever seen you lose control was when you lost it at the premiere all those years ago. It was justified. Ben would have lost it too if he walked in on anyone fucking you. His jaw clenches at the thought, but then he remembers what you said last night, that there hadn't been anyone else, that you never wanted anyone else but him ever. It was surprising to him, that you hadn't moved on, even after all this time you still loved him the same way you always had and that there would never be anyone else.
Fuck. Ben took in a deep breath to avoid getting too excited remembering what you said, feeling warmth begin to build in his abdomen. It had been difficult to contain himself when you admitted that to him. If you had let him, he would have made love to you right then, made you feel things that no other man ever did, but you said you wanted to wait.
And Ben wanted to respect that, wanted to respect you.
He examines the empty bottle once more.
When you were younger he'd watch you get drunk on cheap beer that he bought you more than once, usually when you proclaimed that you could drink him under the table and then Ben had to practically corral you to get you home. Then again he liked those nights, when you'd try to sing, swing from light poles that lined the street, and you'd grab his hand and say crazy things like "let's run away" or "let's go egg Missy Callahan's house." Both of which Ben didn't need much more convincing to say yes, but the two of you never did.
He would have run away with you if you'd ever seriously asked him to, he would have dropped everything to leave, would have chosen you just as you chose him the night he showed up and asked you to go with him to get the serum. The promise he made to protect you and be strong for you the night you went with him was not new. He had repeated it to himself every day since the minute he realized how much you meant to him.
And he would continue to do it for the rest of his life.
Ben ascends the stairs, buttoning the Giants jersey that Butcher bought for him. He wasn't the biggest fan of them forty years ago, but it was one of the only shirts he had. And the last thing he wanted to do was walk around without a shirt on. Ben smiles to himself remembering your reaction when you walked in on him changing into his supe suit yesterday morning. He loved that you reacted to him that way, it was the same way that he reacted to seeing you yesterday when you were standing in your bathroom in only your bra, looking just as beautiful as you had forty years ago when he took you to bed and-
Fuck. Ben took in another deep breath finishing the last button to avoid thinking about you naked. It had been forty years for him and he knew that he was going to have to take it slow when it came to sex.
He stumbled into the kitchen and froze.
Lou was sitting at the square kitchen table that sat under a floor length window and looked out onto the sprawling backyard of Legend's property. Ben could see Rosemary and you talking at the very edge of where the grass met the thick woods beyond.
"Hi Ben!" Lou smiles wide at him. A giant box of crayons sits on the table just beyond her filled with every color known to man, while she scribbles in a sketchbook that looks suspiciously like the same ones that Ben had seen you buy for yourself in the past. "Do you know how to draw trees? Aunty y/n always does them for me, but she's talking to mommy."
"Um-" Ben clears his throat, fastening the last button of his shirt. Lou was smiling at him the same way you did, like she was genuinely happy that he was there, and he wasn't used to that. It was the same way you used to smile at him when he climbed through your bedroom window. He looks out the window to where you're still talking to Rosemary trying to find a way out, until finally he sighs. "No. I'm sorry."
"That's okay, mommy can't draw either." Lou looks back at her drawing while reaching for a brown crayon. She was wearing pink polka dot pajamas, pants and a shirt that matched. Ben had never seen pajamas like that before, but he supposed that pink was her favorite color, given that she was also wearing a pair of bright pink fuzzy slippers.
He couldn’t help but smile. He wondered if you hated how much Lou liked pink, if it reminded of those dresses your mother used to make you wear that always made you look like a giant iced birthday cake.
Personally, Ben didn’t think you looked that ridiculous, he thought that you looked cute, ruffly, but cute. You never believed him when he told you that.
Ben wandered over to the cabinet where he thought the whiskey was, but as soon as he opened it, he found the cabinet empty.
Did he fucking move it?
"It's under the sink." Lou said from behind him.
"What?" Ben turns around surprised.
Lou was still scribbling with her crayon in her sketchpad. "Uncle Legend came in and moved it this morning."
"Thanks." Ben awkwardly makes his way over to the sink, and sure enough behind the mop bucket is a full bottle of whiskey. He busies himself with pouring a glass before he eyes the chair next to Lou wondering if he should sit there.
Ben was nervous, he'd never admit it, but he was. This was his granddaughter, someone that you loved very much. He'd never been around a kid before, didn't have any siblings growing up, and certainly didn't have any relatives with children the way you had.
He liked to think that if he had been there when you were pregnant and when you gave birth to Rosemary he would have gotten used to it gradually. He wasn't sure if he could even be a dad, not after everything that happened with his own.
He was sure that he was going to be a disappointment to Rosemary and even to Lou and-
"Sit with me." Lou says, interrupting his train of thought as she gets off of her chair to pull out the one next to her for Ben tugging with all her strength to pull it out from under the table.
Ben hesitates, but finally smiles at her efforts to get him to sit with her and sits down.
An awkward silence falls over him, he's again unsure what to say, so he takes a sip from his glass and hopes that you'll come in and save him from saying the wrong thing, but given how upset you look standing outside with Rosemary, he's sure that it won't be anytime soon. The urge to go outside and get between Rosemary and you is strong, but just as he begins to move to get out of the chair, Lou interrupts him.
"You make her smile more." Lou says, while grabbing a red crayon with her chubby hand and begins to draw the petals of a flower in her sketchbook, meticulously trying to make them more circular, tongue between her teeth as she concentrates.
"Who?"
"Aunty y/n. She didn't smile as much before." She says it matter of factly.
"Really?"
Lou nods reaching into the box of crayons for a new color. "She tried to act like she wasn't sad, but I think she was. Sometimes when she thought I was asleep I would find her on the couch just sitting there. I think she was lonely. And I tried to give her bigger hugs but they never seem to work. Hugs always make me feel better." Lou sighs.
"I'm sure that your hugs made her feel better." Ben's says tightly. He's not sure how to talk to Lou, isn't sure if he should talk to her like an adult or not.
"I love aunty y/n. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to be an artist!"
Ben looks down at the sketchpad on the table beneath Lou’s hands. It was of a giant tree that had different colored flowers all squished together in its branches. Each flower was different than the last, crudely drawn, but under it all Ben could see her potential. It reminded him of the sketchbook pages you first showed him when you were eight and swore him to secrecy, threatening bodily harm if you told anyone else about them.
“You’re very good.” Ben says and Lou beams with pride at her drawing, before flipping to a new page. She holds out a brilliant yellow crayon towards Ben. “Please draw a sun right here.” She taps her finger against the top left of the page before placing the crayon in his hand.
“Oh I don’t think I-“
“You can do it Ben! Aunty y/n says that art doesn’t have to be perfect, that it gets messy sometimes but that makes it fun!” Rosie reaches for a purple crayon and begins to draw stick figures to the right of the page.
Ben had heard you say that before, usually after your mother would sneer or make a comment about your paint stained hands when he’d bring you home from a day at the park. But sitting here listening to Lou say it was different.
Lou reminded him of you as a kid. She wasn't afraid  to speak up, to say what she thought, and she was filled with creativity and love.
Ben always admired that about you, that you were able to create things so perfectly and that you always made space in your heart for him, even when he was a complete dick for so long. He wondered if Rosemary was like you too. He could see a bit of it when she told him off, saw how headstrong she was and how ready she was to protect who she loved from him.
Ben hated that Rosemary believed that he would hurt you again, when it all but tore his own heart out to do so the last time.
But he was trying, hoped that she could see that he was trying and hoped that one day she’d let him in. The problem was he wasn’t the most patient person in the world.
He looks down at the crayon in his hand frowning slightly. He wasn’t an artist like you. The only thing that he’d really ever drawn was the naughty doodle that got him kicked out of boarding school, the one that made you laugh so hard you pushed him off the bed when he drew it for you in your sketchbook. You’d tried to show him other ways of drawing and painting but he’d never been interested.
Not to mention he didn’t think it was manly. He didn’t think that a man should have a hobby like this. It should be fishing or hunting or something like that but he looks down at Lou.
Her eyes are shining bright with excitement, smile wide, dimples showing and he doesn’t want to disappoint her, not when she’s been nothing but nice to him since he showed up.
If Hughie or fucking Butcher come in here and see me drawing this fucking sun I’ll-
“You don’t look like your pictures.” Lou hums drawing a smile on the face of the stick figure.
“Huh?” Ben looks up confused.
“The pictures that mommy keeps in the drawer.” Lou says reaching for a black crayon to draw long flowing hair on the stick figure.
“What pictures?”
“Of you and aunty y/n. Mommy has some in her drawer.” Lou acts as if she hadn’t said anything, grabbing a different crayon to draw another stick figure.
“She has pictures of us?”
“Yeah. You don’t have the beard though. And you and aunty y/n are really young.” She pokes his cheek with a chubby finger, making Ben freeze. Lou squints her eyes at him. “You don’t look like the picture that aunty y/n drew either.”
Ben hesitates, eyes slightly widening. “She drew a picture of me?”
“Few days ago.” Lou scribbles. “You didn’t have a beard then either.”
In the new drawings and paintings that Ben had seen back at your apartment, he hadn’t seen any drawings of him, he assumed it was because of everything that happened, but to learn that you did still draw him made him smile.
“You don't like it?” Ben asks, amused.
She shrugs. “It’s okay.”
“Aunt y/n likes it.” He said it more to himself than to Lou. Like hell he was going to shave it off when he saw how much you liked it when he came back. Ben smiles to himself remembering how your heart beat jolted out of your chest whenever he touched you, how your cheeks flushed, how your smooth skin felt beneath his hands-
There were so many little things that Ben missed about you, so many things that he had forgotten, and now he got to learn each one all over again and fall in love with every part of you for the second time in his life.
The sun he drew in the top left of the page was lopsided, but Lou didn't complain, in fact she added a pair of sunglasses to it, and a bright smile that Ben laughed at.
"What are you two doing?" Ben hears your voice say as your hand gently rubs his back. Ben looks up embarrassed. He hadn't wanted to get caught with a crayon in his hand, but at least it had been you and not Butcher.
"We were just-" Ben begins to say, his eyes flicking to where Rosemary stands behind Lou eyes narrowed.
"Mommy look. Ben is helping me color!" Lou crows, picking up her drawing so Rosemary can see.
Ben realizes what Lou was drawing on the other side of the page. Lou has drawn Rosemary and you standing with Lou in between the two of you holding on to her hands. Ben's eyes slide to the last figure in the drawing, his chest suddenly very tight, it's him, standing beside you, frowning, but holding on to your hand.
Rosemary smiles tightly at the page with a sigh. "That's nice sweetie. Come on, let's get you dressed."
"But I like my pajamas."
"Do what your mother says Lou." You smile down at her, stroking her dark hair back from her face.
"Okay." She sighs dramatically and begins to walk out of the room, but Rosemary is still glaring at Ben.
"Rose-" You begin to say, but she interrupts you.
"She might be able to forgive you, but I'm not going to." Her eyes narrow. "I don't think you're good for her."
Ben is still sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, your hand solidly on his back as if you were making the statement that you weren't going to push him away. It solidified something, showed him how much you were willing to sacrifice to keep him in your life, and again enforced just how much you loved him. If Rosemary hadn't been standing there, he would have sat you on the marble countertop and sucked another mark into your neck. The one he left yesterday was already starting to fade and he wanted to replace it as soon as possible.
But he was still angry, angry that Rosemary wouldn't give him a chance. "Your mother means everything to me." Ben says honestly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. All I'm asking is that you get to know me first before you-"
"I don't want to get to know you." Rosemary says. "And if you hurt my mother again, I’ll make you wish that you stayed in that fucking lab."
She's gone in an instant, making Ben feel a pain in his chest that he hadn't felt since he spoke to his own father decades ago, on those nights when his dad got so drunk that he couldn't stand up straight and the nights that his father's words rang heavy in Ben's ears. Those nights Ben would get drunk, climb up the tree outside your window, and stumble into your bed, curling into you because you were the only thing in his life that he couldn't stand to lose, couldn't stand to disappoint, and the only thing in his shitty life that made him happy.
"Ben-" He hears you say.
"Mhmm?"
"Look at me."
Ben looks up. He doesn't like the worry in your gaze, doesn't like how your own eyes are just a little rimmed red like you were crying.
"I love you." You whisper. "And she's not going to change that."
"Are you sure?" He barely breathes the words, afraid in his soul to admit them to you, to speak them into the universe.
You drop into his lap, putting your forearms on his shoulders.
"Ben." You drag your fingers through his hair, your touch soothing his anxiety. "You know me enough to know that I don't pull punches. If I didn't want you here, I would make sure you weren't." You press a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. "I want you here with me. I don't want you to go ever again. "
They were the words that he wanted you to tell him on the nights he crawled through your bedroom window, the question that he was always afraid to ask. Because he never believed that you could want him even a fraction as much as he wanted you, could love him and want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with you. And yet here you were after all these years after all the shitty things he did accepting him and letting him into your heart.
“Okay.” He leans his forehead against yours for a minute. “What did you talk about?”
“Homelander. And what happened yesterday.” You sigh. “She’s about as thrilled as I thought she’d be with us going after our old team. She was pissed when I told her about Countess the other day but this was worse.” You mutter holding on tight to him. “She’ll get over it. At least… I hope she will.”
“Mhmm.”
“I will say that I’m kind of jealous.”
“About?” Ben is suddenly worried.
What did I do? Did I-
“Every time I tried to get you to draw with me you said no.” Ben watches you frown dramatically. “And here you are with another woman-“
Ben rolls his eyes and shuts you up by closing the distance between your faces. You laugh into his mouth, his tongue finding the rigid edge of your front teeth as you do before you fit your mouth against his and kiss him, your soft lips molding against his in a way that makes a deep seated groan vibrate up through his chest.
“You try saying no to her.” Ben mutters.
“It’s impossible.” You open your eyes to stare at him again, your gaze filled with more love than Ben had ever seen. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that before, none of the other women he’d had in his life had ever looked at him the way you did. And he never wanted you to stop. You looked at him like he was special, treasured, like he was something that you never wanted to stop looking at, like you saw every part of him and refused to turn away.
He'd only seen that once before. He had taken a woman out for drinks, you had been doing an interview that ran late and Ben was trying to pass the time, but at the bar he had seen an older couple sitting in a booth in the corner. Ben couldn't look away from them. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, the man's arm draped over the woman who leaned into him with a wide smile, her gray hair pushed back in an elegant twist, but she looked up at him with such reverence that Ben couldn't help but think of you. When he saw that he left the woman he came with there and went to your apartment, to wait until you got back. And when you had fallen asleep Ben had folded you into his arms and allowed himself to dream that one day you would look at him the same way.
And now years later here you were looking at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, the same way you looked at him the morning after your birthday when you told him you loved him.
"But I did tell you that once Lou drew you into the family portrait, you were in." You reach back to pick up the drawing holding it between the two of you so he can see Lou's hard work. "She really captured your frown." You snort, leaning your head against his shoulder while you look at the drawing.
"Shut up." Ben squeezes you, but he can't help but smile at the paper.
And deep down Ben started to believe you when you said that this was his family too, because sitting there with Lou he had felt just as at home as he had with you.
All he had to do was convince Rosemary.
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[30 MINUTES AGO] READER POV
I can't believe that she walked in on us IN BED. She's already pissed about me having him here, but why did her finding us together feel like the equivalent of my mother walking in on Ben and me?
You follow behind Rosemary silently, trying not to think of how sad Ben looked when you left him. You would have wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up beside him and make him understand that no matter how much Rosemary wanted you to push him away, you weren't going to leave him.
You could see the fear flashing in his eyes, had seen it last night when he yelled at you. As much as he didn't want to admit it, you knew that Ben was still afraid that you would leave him. And knowing how much you meant to him made you love him even more.
It was a beautiful day. Legend's home was the only one within ten miles, his money well spent to keep himself secluded from the rest of the world. The large trees at the back of his home were tall and strong, their branches curling upward  to the sun as if they wished to worship it.
The sunlight was warm on your shoulders, soaking through your t-shirt and sweat pants as you follow behind your daughter, who was obviously trying to get out of earshot of Ben's supe hearing. You didn't want to break it to her that you'd probably have to drive at least a mile away for Ben's hearing to get a little bit fuzzy.
Finally, just as you reach the crest of trees at the back of the lot she stops and turns back to face you.
She's frowning and waits a minute to begin. "I want you to tell me what happened."
"I did-"
"No. You didn't tell me everything and I want to know exactly  what happened and why you had to fight Homelander."
You bite the inside of your cheek.
There really wasn't an easy way to sugar coat it or really explain it in a way that Rosemary would understand without getting angry.
She almost went ballistic the other day when I told her that I killed Countess and that was a complete accident. Us going after the Twins was not. Us going after the twins was calculated.
"Okay. Before we talk about that, I want you to understand why-"
"Oh you mean why you and Ben-" She seethes his name. "Were going after your old team? The exact thing that you told me you weren't going to do when you came to tell me about Countess?"
"Yes."
"Fine." She leans back against one of the trees, still frowning. "Go on."
"Ben told me what happened in Nicaragua. What Countess said was true, she seduced him to make me angry." You hold up a hand. "And before you say that Ben said those things to me and did those things of his own free will. I know."
Rosemary still doesn't look pleased.
"They betrayed him in Nicaragua. They attacked him and gave him to the Russian military."
"But why?"
"Honestly I'm not sure. I think it's because Ben used to be wild and impulsive and-"
"Used to be?"
"Just listen." You sigh. "He spent forty years in Russia being tortured and experimented on. They put something in his chest-"
"What did they put in his chest?"
"It's like an energy beam." You were giving her the short version about what the beam really did, because you didn't think that now was the best time to say that it might turn supes human. "But that's why we went to see the Twins, because they betrayed him and when Homelander showed up I had to step in."
Rosemary pinches the bridge of her nose and you can tell that she's trying very hard to not get angry. "So let me get this straight, you went to see the Twins, AS SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP REVENGE FANTASY?"
"Well-"
"No. My turn to talk." She holds up a finger like she's admonishing a toddler. "I can't believe that you can't see what's happening."
"See what?"
"You told me that things were different, that he'd changed but he hasn't! He's still the same angry dick! The only person that's changed is you!"
"What?"
"And you don't fucking see it!" Rosemary shouts. "You facing Homelander, you killing Countess, you going after your old team- it's all him! As soon as you got a whiff of Soldier Boy you started to slip back into the person that you were forty fucking years ago."
"That is ridiculous-"
"No it's not. And it's all him. He is the one making you throw the life away that you have made for yourself. He is the one making you use your powers again! He is the one making you go along with his ridiculous revenge plot-"
"Ben is not making me do anything!"
"He is-"
"You have no idea what that's like for people who say that they're your friends betray you. To have people who you thought trusted you give you up like that. They stabbed him in the back Rosie, and they sent him away to another country to be tortured. Do you have any idea what they did to him there? Our old team deserves everything that is coming to them."
"I don't know who you are anymore."
"I am still the same person I was. I am still me."
"No I don't think you are-"
Your jaw tightens. "Look, I understand that you're upset with this whole situation. With having to be here and with me letting Ben back into my life, but he is my family too."
She bristles when you say the word 'family.'
She has to understand that, to know that Ben is my family, is her family.
"Rosemary, do you have any idea what I would do for you if someone tried to hurt you or Lou the way they hurt Ben? What I would do to them for even trying?" You whisper it, but you can see her expression soften as she considers what you were saying. "You were angry with me because I was going to go to Russia alone. You wanted to protect me. And even all this stuff with Ben, you have been trying to protect me from him because you believe that he's going to hurt me again. How is this any different?"
“It is.”
“Why? Because he’s hurt me?” Your eyes lock with hers. “I’ve hurt you by letting him back in my life. Are you saying that now you wouldn’t protect me? That if I asked you to go with me to Russia right now you wouldn't do it.”
She stands there looking at you for a minute, letting what you've asked hang in the air between the two of you. And you know that deep down she understands the need to protect her family the same way you did.
"No. That's not what I'm saying. You depend so much on him and it's only been three days." She sighs. "Mom you were happy before-“
"No I wasn't." You mutter.
The memories of the last three days with Ben proved that. You hadn't realized just how in the hole you were until he walked back into your life. Until you felt how much you loved him and now understood how much he loved you. Waking up with him, falling asleep with him, spending time with him, seeing his smile, hearing him speak, and feeling him beside you all felt different. She was right, you did feel different. You felt lighter and warmer, like you'd mainlined sunshine, like everything else had been colorless until Ben walked back in.
You understood that now you may have tried to be happy, and you were with Rosemary and Lou, but not anywhere else. Being with Ben felt right.
Rosemary eyes you for a minute and then finally sighs.  "I know."
"What?" You weren't expecting her to say that.
"He's been here only three days and you're-" She searches for the word reluctantly. "You're glowing."
"Huh?"
"My entire life I've watched you. I know you. You're my best friend. And I'm not saying that you haven't been happy, but with him you're a different person."
"You've already said that and it's not true. I'm still me-"
"Not about the supe shit." She shakes her head. "The way you look at him, the way you smile, the way whenever he shifts in another direction you do too like somehow you sensed it. And it scares me."
"Why does that scare you?"
"Because if he decides this is all too much and he leaves, I don't want to see the person you become when he does." She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest. "I kinda feel like I've seen that person the last thirty nine years."
"That's ridiculous-"
"You told me about before, told me how you were when he left, I didn't see it, I couldn't imagine it, but now seeing you with him, understanding just how much of a hold he has on your life, understanding how much you love and care for him- mom… I see that the life you made for us, you still weren't you. I'm not sure if you were really completely happy and now seeing you with him, I-"
You place your hands on her cheeks. "Rosie. What happened forty years ago is not your fault. I would not change a single second that I spent with you and Lou. I do not regret the life that I've made with you. I do not regret you. I want you to understand that. The things that happened between me and Ben, even though they were fucked up, does not mean that I don't love you."
"I know that." She whispers, but you're suddenly unsure.
You thought that you'd expressed that to Rosemary enough over the years, that you did not regret having her, that you wouldn't change that decision.
"Rosie please." You hug her, tears burning just behind your eyes. "You are not a mistake. I love you." You pull back to look at her green eyes, the same as Ben's. "And I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. Because maybe I wasn't happy with me, but I was when I was with you and Lou."
"Okay." She pulls back with a sigh.
"I just wish that you'd try to talk to work things out with Ben." You search her face. You told yourself that you weren't going to get involved, but you wanted her to like him. He was her father and he was going to be spending time with you.
"Look I don't want to hate him, and maybe I don't, but it's not your fault." Her expression hardens. "He shouldn't have shouted at you yesterday for that. You didn't make me hate him or make him the villain. It's not your fault." She repeats.
"Maybe it is. I told you all those things about him, I made you focus only on the bad, only on the things that happened towards the end-"
Rosemary takes your hand. "Mom you told me everything. I remember the good things. I remember what your friendship was like. I remember the stories you told me when I was a kid about Ben and you running around Philadelphia."
"Which ones?"
"When he was strong for you when you couldn't be. When he took care of you, when he took you places, when he supported your art. When he made sure that you were happy. I-" She pauses.  "I haven't forgotten those."
"Then why-"
"Because they happened before. When Ben was still Ben and not Soldier Boy. I've seen every single film. Watched every interview, commercial, and even those stupid music videos." Rosemary shakes her head as if trying to rid herself of the image.
"You have?"
"Yes. And I saw the person he became."
You knew what that looked like. Ben really did go all out for the cameras when they were rolling, but when it was the two of you he was just him. And the past two days he had shown that person to you all over again, and you knew deep in your heart that you were trusting him again.
"I know that you don't believe me when I say this, but he really is different."
"Sure."
You sigh. You knew that she wouldn't believe you, that she was just so hell-bent on pushing him away that she wouldn't listen to you. But you knew deep down that he was different, and that he was trying. It was enough for you.
Ben was enough. And the fact that he was willing to throw away all the macho bullshit he had spouted in the past, that he was willing to try to change to be the boy you fell in love with, meant everything to you.
You knew that you had probably forgiven him too early, but you wanted to believe him, and you wanted him to be back in your life.
Rosemary echoes your sigh and looks back up towards the house, stamping her foot in frustration. "Did you at least kick his ass?"
"Who? Ben? I told you that I threw him-" You begin to say suddenly confused.
"No." The ends of her lips twitch into a smile. "Homelander."
You laugh. "Yeah. They don't really make heroes the same way these days."
"Good. He probably fucking liked it."
"I wouldn't be too sure of that." You snort remembering the look he gave you when you threw him against the ground. "But it was kind of cathartic to throw him around. I feel a lot better. Maybe you should give it a try." You narrow your eyes at your daughter. "I mean Homelander not Ben."
Rosemary's lips pull into a mischievous smirk, looking more like Ben than she ever has. "I'll keep that in mind."
********************************************************
READER POV
Your heartbeat pounds in your ears, heart racing to catch up as you tug your arms to get them free, but leather restraints hold them in place at your sides. A cold chill seeps up through the metal table you lay on though the thin paper gown that covers your body. Brilliant light from fluorescent square lights above blinds you. And even when you shut them tight the flash of red that stays behind burns through your iris.
Shadows move just on the edge of your vision and you strain your ears to hear them speak, to understand why you're here, why you're strapped to this table, but the only thing that remains is a garbled sound broken only by the rapid ding of a heart monitor.
Where am I? How did I-
A sharp pain deep inside of you makes your breath catch, an uncomfortable sensation between your legs. You try to kick out, but your legs are strapped down, pried apart and bent at the knee. Your pleas for release are slurred as if you've forgotten how to speak.
Someone brings their hand down over your mouth and you bite down, blood and flesh sticking between your teeth and the person strikes your face savagely.
The shadows that pass over where you lay on your back are impossible to bring faces to and their muffled conversations are just out of reach.
And when you open your mouth to scream everything goes black.
"Y/n!" You hear Ben shout as you come to, his hands on your shoulders shaking you from sleep, but you can't move, can't speak still stuck in whatever hell-scape that your mind designed. "Please Sweetheart." He's leaning down over you, eyes wide with fear and anxiety, eyebrows pulled together. "Wake up."
"Ben-" You croak, breath coming in gasps, eyes blinking to focus on him above you.
Ben breathes out a sigh of relief, pulling you up into his arms and tucking your head beneath his chin.
"Ben." You say again, tears falling from your eyes sobs shaking your shoulders, breath coming in gasps as you cling to him, holding on to him so tight you think you hear his back crack.
“Shhh. It’s alright Sweetheart, I’m here. I’m right here.” Ben murmurs into the top of your head, rubbing his hand down your spine.
It wasn’t the first time you’d had the nightmare, but it was the first time you’d had it in forty years. It had started a few years before Ben had been taken. You don’t know why, but you always assumed that it was stress of being a hero or your heartache over Ben refusing to see you as more than a friend, that finally you cracked. But you didn't know why that particular scenario. The only time that you'd seen something remotely similar was the day that you received your injection of Compound V and you figured maybe your mind created the dream to haunt you.
And now it’s back because I’m stressed about all this shit with Homelander.
You inhale the familiar scent of Ben’s cologne, tears soaking into the front of his black shirt, but it does little to calm your heartbeat. You sob again, arms wrapped around his neck holding him tighter to you as you shudder.
“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Ben says again. His hand trails gently down your spine up and down in a soothing motion to calm you down.
He’d comforted you before after the same nightmare, he knew exactly what you saw each time, but he also was confused as to why you saw it. In his arms you felt safe, as if no one else could touch you or pull you away. You wondered if Ben felt the same way when you held him.
“Shh.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, pushing back the strands of hair that clung to your sweaty forehead.
You shudder again, sweat sticking your shirt to your back, but your heartbeat begins to slow as you take in another breath.
“Same dream?” Ben whispers.
“Yeah.” You breathe. “I haven’t had it since you were-“ You choke on the words again as the images from what you saw come back. The mumbled voices of the figures fading in and out of your ears.
“Did you ever figure out what it was?”
“No. I-“ You inhale. “I don’t know. I-“
Your body shakes again as you cling to Ben, trying to forget the dream that never seemed to go away. “I don’t know.”
********************************************************
READER POV
In the days that followed Butcher and Hughie looked for Mindstorm's last known location, and Rosemary tried to stay as far away from Ben as she could, which wasn't too far because she refused to leave Lou alone with him. And Lou kept wanting to do more and more with Ben.
But you didn't mind that, because it meant that Rosemary got to sit front row to Ben trying to get more comfortable around Lou.
And try he was. He sat with her each day while she drew after breakfast, watched you and her paint side by side on Legend's back porch, waited patiently while you braided Lou's hair back from her face, and even indulged her in the occasional game of Go Fish that Ben always seemed to lose. But he didn't mind or at least not that you could tell.
"I understand that you all have this kind of fucked up fantasy when you go after Mindstorm," Rosemary sighed leaning back on Legend's dark brown leather couch with a beer in her hand. "But I still don't see how this is going to help us with Homelander."
Butcher shrugs taking a sip from his own beer bottle, brooding in the chair across from her. Hughie mirrors the shrug and reaches for the last slice of pizza in the ornate glass coffee table in front of the couch.
You were sitting on the couch beside her, your legs folded up underneath you with a mug full of scotch clutched between your hands, while Ben stretched out beside you nursing his own glass of whiskey.
In all the years that you had known Legend, there never seemed to be a shortage of booze. Ben respected that.
Lou was sleeping soundly upstairs, you kept checking on her every few minutes with your supe hearing, but so far she hadn't woken up.
"Because those two wanted us to go after their old team first." Butcher gestures to Ben and you with his bottle.
"At least we don't have a hard-on for Homelander." Ben frowns. "Can't tell if you want me to kill him or if you want to fuck him."
"Ben-" You sigh.
You had tried not to think about Homelander over the past few days, but it was unavoidable. You bite the inside of your cheek remembering what it was like to fight him, what it was like to hold him by the throat and stare into his nearly black eyes.
He had been pissed. You knew that, but you hadn't expected to feel so weird when you looked at him. You remember his blonde hair, the sharp smell of hair dye, the strong cut of his jaw-
Your thumb rubs the side of the mug you're holding. There was something else about him though, something that you couldn't place, something that when you looked at him you felt that you had forgotten something. Something important that nagged and tugged at the back of your mind.
But what? I've seen him before, at least not in person, and definitely not that close. Only in those pathetic interviews on T.V, on those stupid energy drinks…
You think again about the grip you had on his throat, remember the angular planes of his face.
"That doesn't fucking help." Rosemary rolls her eyes and you look up at your daughter.
She really does act like Ben even if he wasn't around through her childhood.
You think to yourself, your eyes tracing her face, looking at the soft dusting of cinnamon colored freckles over her cheeks that she usually hid under makeup and the nose that always reminded you of your father.
You think about Homelander again. But what did I forget? What about him made me-
Your entire body freezes as you stare at Rosemary's face, the face that you'd looked at for the past forty years.
No. That's impossible-
You can't breathe, can't think. Something cold clamps over your heart the chill soaking into your bones like you've sunk into deep water. All other sounds in the room fade into a muddled haze as you sit there and stare at her, eyes widening, heartbeat beginning to thud loudly in your ears.
Oh. My. Fucking. G-
The mug shatters in your hand, glass and alcohol going everywhere, but you don't feel anything. Only the sense of dread, and the chill that spreads with the coming storm and the understanding of what it is you've forgotten.
And you hoped to God that you were wrong.
*********************************************************
A/N: I'M BACK BABY! Honestly after a week off I am doing alot better. Thank you everyone for the love and support. I hope y'all liked this chapter. It's moving the story right on along and the next chapter is going to be BIG and BLOODY. But we'll make it through.
As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to the taglist or if you are already apart of the taglist and it didn't notify you, please let me know! :)
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pupyuj · 4 months
Note
Dub-con eheh. . . anyway, g!p Yujin who befriends a naive virgin loser just so she can use them as her own personal fuck toy ><
Like imagine having a studying sesh with her and it ends with her just taking your virginity. You're crying and trying so hard to resist, but it's just so hard when she's whispering the most unpure shit in your ear that you can't help but slowly submit.
"you're complaining and trying to resist, yet your moaning like a bitch in heat."
"Shut up and take it like the good girl you are."
"You're not going to tell anyone right? No one is going to believe you, and it's your fault for dressing like a slut and provoking me."
"Gonna mold you into my pretty little pet."
"You love it when I take advantage of your tight little virgin cunt, don't you?."
You're not a slut, right? You're not enjoying this at all
Right?
You can't help but believe every little word she says. Eventually you just give up and take it like the good girl you are, because maybe she is right. Yujin is your friend and friends don't lie to each other, right?
Aaah, manipulative Yujin absolutely has my heart. . . Anyway, can I be 🎀 anon? ^_^
once again i am fashionably late to an ask!! 😭 apologies 🎀 anon, but here you go!!
[cw: dubcon, breeding.]
anything with toxic!yujin in it, i'm on board IDCCCC 🤤🤤 i'd love to think of her as a mean girl in this scenario too! she just wants an innocent little lamb to corrupt and unfortunately you were perfect for it! she's so happy that you were dumb enough to fall for her friendly act, it was too easy! yujinnie totally daydreams about completely destroying your cunt and having you cry out her name for everybody to hear... but she'll start small!
gosh, you were so stupid to not recognize her advances. yujin's touching your ass, practically groping your boobs, and she's always checking you out! but she was surprised at how willing you were to let her do whatever she wanted.. coming up behind you, whispering nasty things to your ear while unbuttoning your shirt.. no resistance at all! yujin always knew there could be this kind of side to you 🫣 you were a virgin in an all-girls university no fucking duh your mind has gone off the edge sometime and looked at some girls a little closer than one should 😙😙
but you see.. you wouldn’t feel too good on the inside about what yujin was doing! :(( every single touch that came from her was out of pure lust, not a single sign of care and intimacy… so you’d try and take her hands off of your tits but she’d only push you down on the bed with your top and bra haphazardly thrown to some corner of the room… yujinnie thinks you look so pretty with your eyes all glossy w tears, she couldn’t help but kiss you! at least she was soft with that! you wouldn’t say the same for the way she treated you after… feeling up your soaked panties from underneath her skirt with her fingers and laughing mockingly… berating you so much bcs here you were, powerless under her, trying to push her away, but you were so wet! and your body completely ignored what you wanted… slightly grinding against yujin’s hand just to feel something more down there.. yujin loved seeing that 😋😋
“this skirt is too cute on you… let’s leave it as it is, hm?” and then she pulls off your panties, not wasting another second before pressing her thumb against your clit just to make you whine loudly for her 🥰 yujinnie’s the one that decides whether you’re ready or not :(( you’re moaning in both pain and pleasure as she inserts two digits inside you so slowly… having to grip her arm bcs you don’t know where to put your hands :(( gosh you were adorable! and ofc yujin fucks you like she fucks any other girl that are stupid enough to get involved with a psychopath like her! rough and so painfully fast! “mm… good girl! you’re getting used to this quickly, huh?” you really weren’t though :((
it was frustrating… bcs it both hurt and felt so good! 😵‍💫 you didn’t know how to feel, let alone think! not a single coherent word left your mouth while yujin busied hers with licking and sucking on your nipples.. your arms wrapped all around her, pushing her closer to you bcs this was the one good thing that she’s done… having to bite onto her shirt just to conceal your noises but she didn’t like that! 🫣 she’d push you back, glaring down at you while she abused your pussy harder than ever if that was even possible! ah, but if you think you were done after cumming on her fingers... well, you were dumber than you actually were 🤭
her being even more unforgiving with her cock :(( just completely disregarding your pained cries and your pleads for her to slow down.. feeling the tip of her cock ram into unknown places inside you, her thickness being such a perfect fit in your tight cunt... yujin was completely addicted! she should've been quicker and fucked you way before if your pussy felt this good around her dick 😳😳 she fucks you with a mocking grin, knowing you were completely powerless to do anything against her.. eventually you just laid there, shaking and moaning her name as she uses you...
"you wanna.. ah, fuck... you wanna know how it feels to be bred full, princess?" oh, come on, this is yujin! ofc she doesn't wait for an answer! you couldn't utter a word that wasn't her name and a bunch of nonsense anyway! laying there as yujin dumped every single drop of her cum inside you.. feeling the warm fluid seep inside your walls while yujin stared at you with only filthy obsession in her eyes... you just looked way too pretty under her, you can't blame her for fucking and breeding you that entire afternoon! 💕
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cdbabymp3 · 7 months
Text
𐙚chris' girl (intro) ― matt sturniolo
summary: matt has a not-so-innocent crush on chris' girlfriend
notes/warnings (pls read!!) : this series is going to be nsfw ! if u don't fw that, kindly, bye <3 reader is a popular influencer in la and lowkey oblivious but not really...you'll see lol, alcohol, partying, smoking, the whole nine yards honestly, buckle up...
*this is a work of FICTION, i don't think any of this would actually happen lmfao, it's just for fun! while chris and matt both like reader, there will be no incest shit whatsoever. you can 1000% miss me with that, thank youuu !
[unedited]
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it started off with little things every so often. there wasn't this big moment that made matt fall for her, it was more so a collection of interactions he thought back on before bed every night. these interactions, some innocent, some... not so much, plagued his mind. she was everywhere. in his head, in his car, in his house, on his couch. the smell of her vanilla perfume always lingered. he'd pretend to complain, but there was never an ounce of actual annoyance in his voice. it was almost visceral, the way his body reacted to merely thinking about these interactions.
like the time she came into his room for a towel before her and chris went to the hot tub. matt almost choked on his own saliva, the sight of her in the tiniest black bikini known to man, belly button piercing sparkling. the $300 vivienne westwood necklace chris gave her for her birthday dangled dangerously low in the valley of her full chest. matt couldn't speak, but how could he? all he could do was gulp and hand her the towel.
or that time when he was heading to his room for the night, but caught of glimpse of chris' cracked door. she sat on the edge of his, back to the door, slipping the straps of her pink bra back on. she turned her head slowly, as if she knew. but matt was quick to keep walking. did she know? did she want me to see her like that? these questions loomed around matt's mind, a constant battle of fighting what he actually saw versus what his fantasies made him believe. it was bad, that half-awake, half-asleep state of being that would nearly convince matt there was chance she had interest in him.
he could her voice saying his name over and over again.
"matt, matt, matt, matt...-MATT, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" chris interjected, throwing a pillow at matt's head. matt jolted up, gasping for air, chest heaving up and down.
"chris!" matt scowled at him, hand over his heart to make sure he was still alive after being in that much shock.
"ooooh, someone was having a good dream." chris teased, flicking on the lights, "c'mon, seriously, get up. i told y/n we'd pick her up on the way to the party." he mentioned casually, leaving the room to make sure nick was ready to leave as well.
the party. matt had completely forgot. fuck.
the drive to y/n's house was normal: matt drove, nick sat in the passenger seat texting different group chats to see who was coming to the party, and chris sat in the back middle on aux, per usual. maybe it was pathetic, but every time they picked up y/n, matt's stomach would get that light feeling right before you go on a massive roller coaster. he thought with time, it would go away. this had to be the 5th or 6th time they were picking her up, but the feeling in stomach proved no signs of lessening in the slightest. matt would just have to deal with it. he took a deep breath, slowly pulling into her driveway and turning down the music a bit. chris sent his usual "i'm here" text and it wasn't even two minutes later that y/n came strutting out. a pale pink, skin-tight dress that stopped barely after the curve of her ass adorned her body. her chunky black heels clicked against the pavement as she made her way to matt's car. she did a little wave at matt and nick through the driver's side window before opening the back door, chris holding out of hand to help her in.
once she closed the door, the vanilla wave of her perfume set in instantly, matt's grip on the wheel tightening.
"hi guys!" her honey voice beamed, adjusting her dress. "hi baby", giving chris a quick kiss on the cheek. his hand went to its usual spot on her inner thigh. and like usual, matt saw this in the rearview mirror, eyes darting from the sight to the gps directions back and forth, making sure chris' hand didn't travel any further. matt reversed the car, praying he could keep his emotions level for the 14 minute remainder of the drive
"you look soooo fucking good!" nick complimented, turning his upper body to face y/n, almost baffled by her beauty.
"yeah, you really do." chris chimed in, hand squeezing her thigh now. seeing this, matt 'accidentally' hit the brakes abruptly at the red light, causing chris' hand to leave her thigh.
"shit, sorry." matt apologized dryly
"matt, focus up! i swear to god, y/n could drive better in her 6 inch heels." chris jokes, and nick laughs, but y/n swats chris' arm.
"leave him alone." y/n rolls her eyes, digging in her purse for lipgloss.
matt tried so hard not to smirk, turning into the street where the party was happening and parking a couple houses down. the whole street was packed, luxury cars filled every available spot on the curb, beautiful people all heading to the biggest house on the block.
matt didn't register the moments before entering the house, mainly by choice. he hated watching chris always give her the sloppiest tongue kiss whenever they got out of the car. he hated the awkward walk up the street, y/n and chris walking in front of him, hand in hand, while he had to listen to nick's latest tangent.
once nick swung the door open, though, matt had no choice but to look alive. deafeningly loud rap struck matt's chest, the bass booming and buzzing throughout his whole body. y/n and chris went straight to get drinks and greet people like they always did. matt trailed loosely behind.
after a couple drinks, chris and y/n were the stars of the party. y/n body-rolled to the music, chris stood closely behind her, one hand on her hip and the other holding his solo cup in the air. everyone was dancing and having a good time, and then there was matt. he stood off to the side near the drink table, sipping root beer from the can, summoning the strength not to leave with every body-roll and swivel of y/n's hips against chris' groin. matt shook his head, frankly pissed off. chris always did that stupid thing where he pretended to act shocked by y/n's dancing as if they didn't go to parties together all the time. thankfully, matt's suffering was cut short when chris left y/n to get a refill. he walked up to the drink table, pouring himself a shot-sized amount of vodka into the cup, eyeing matt's muted disposition.
"y'know, matt, you could actually talk to people or have a good time here. no one's paying you to stand there like a fucking statue." chris threw his head back, downing the liquor.
"my stomach hurts." matt remarked flatly, sipping his root beer. to be fair, his stomach did actually hurt. the reason why, he couldn't tell his brother-or anyone, really.
"whatever." chris waved him off, leaving to talk with some friends in the other corner.
matt sighed, stomach in knots, the knots covered in thorns, the thorns injected with poison. maybe he should leave, just for a bit... tempting, but then he would lose his parking spot and god knows he wouldn't hear the end of it from nick. his thoughts are interrupted by a cloud of smoke wafting in his face. matt coughs as the cloud fades to reveals some random guy. as much as he tried, matt could not for the life of him keep up with what influencer was who.
to be polite, matt nodded at him, "hey, man."
"'sup." the guy reciprocated, taking another hit of from vape. his eyes traveled somewhere else after a moment, staring with his mouth agape. "jesus fucking christ.." he muttered in disbelief.
matt quirked an eyebrow, confused. turning his head to the direction the guy was looking. that confused dissipated in half a second. there she was. y/n in the middle of the crowd, shaking her ass and rotating her hips sensually. her hands slid down the curves her body to the cadence of the song playing. there were other pretty girls dancing around her, but no one could dance the way y/n did. even without intention, y/n had an innate talent for drawing people in.
"oh...yeah, she's-uh-" matt struggled with what to say that wouldn't blow his cover completely.
"please tell me she's single" the guy's eyes widen on y/n's body, his voice soaked in envy, "or is she your girl?"
matt's stomach filled with a new feeling. defeat. he could lie to the guy, sure. he could could say she was single, but to fuck off because he was about to make his move. or he could go a step further and proudly say she was his girl. he doubted the guy would question it. but it wasn't worth it. he was better than that. plus, he knew he'd feel even more pathetic for it later tonight.
"nah, man, " he took one last look at y/n in all her glory, before throwing his drink away. giving the guy a pat on the shoulder in solidarity, "she's chris' girl."
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new fic woooooo !!!! i'm excitedddd
this is just the intro, chp.1 will be up later !
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braxlrose · 1 year
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i read your tom kaulitz weird and silly headcanons and i can't stop laughing 😭 wtf it's 4 am.. anyway will you do the same headcanons only with bill, pretty please?🤭 i know one hundred percent that this little bastard isn't so innocent what he looks like.. i'm sure he's as dirty as Tom 😭 btw sorry engilsh is not my first language ☠️ Greetings from Poland!!:)
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(his skirt is so cute?!?)
Cześć jeszcze raz! Rzadko spotykam Polaków, więc cieszy mnie możliwość ćwiczenia języka polskiego!
also his skirt is super cute omg
silly and weird bill headcanons
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cw: mentioned oral(f and m!recieving), making out, nipple play?, etc
-you are completely right, this mf is far from innocent 💀 tom is seen as the dirty minded one but this little shit would make the most dirty fucking jokes every and then act all innocent LIKE BITCH
-he's also passive aggressive. like very passive aggressive. pookie can't help it 😪
-the first time you, him and tom all got high together he got super paranoid and thought that you guys were all just figments of a dog's imagination
-when you guys are spooning, he reaches underneath your shirt and cups your boobs. it helps him fall asleep quicker apparently
-but sometimes when he's feeling like a little shit, he'll tweak and pull at your nipples and you have to slap him away. so then you make him promise not to do it again. spoiler alert. he does it again 😐
-hes an impatient mf so the amount he's burned his tongue after heating up a pop tart 😒 like bitch..just wait the two fucking minutes
-he loves kissing your temple and your forehead
-during the winter, if his hands are cold he asks if he can put his hand in your pants. 💀 like that's his exact words. "Can I put my hand down your pants?" he says it's because you're warmer down there than he is, but I think it's just cuz he's a dirty minded little fuck
-when cooking marshmallows over the fire, it's a 50/50 thing. Sometimes he's super patient and will wait and make his marshmallows a crispy, perfect golden brown color and other times he gets to lazy and will just shove it in the fire.
-he also thinks it's like the coolest thing in the entire world when his whole marshmallow is on fire
-he didn't know how to snap until he was like 16 and always got mad whenever tom could do it 😭
-he was super happy when he realized that he was the taller twin bc tom was allllwayyss talking about how he was 10 minutes older.
-YOU GUYS GOT MATCHING TATTOOS
-he literally loves getting matching tattoos with you, he thinks it's so cute and fucking loves it. somehow he convinced the both of you to get some dumb ones 💀
-when you two were little kids he used to beg the teacher to make you, him and tom partners. lil bro would get down on his knees
-speaking of getting down on his knees, the first time he went down on you he "accidentally" 🤨 bit your clit. I still say he did it on purpose though
-you guys know that thing that Gomez does with Morticia when she reaches her arms to the side and he kisses from her finger tips to the other finger tips? yall know what I'm talking about? WELL BILL DOES THAT
-he likes to sleep naked sometimes. because it's "better for sleeping" but I think it's just because he wants to sleep next to naked you.
-almost drowned tom at the pool 💀...multiple times
-him and tom make you sit by the pool and then make you tell them who's cannon ball was better. and this isn't just a like 16 yr old boy thing. they do this at 33 too.
-bill once stood up upside-down on a keg and drank it 😧. not the whole thing but it was super crazy. you later found out it was because tom didn't think he would do it
-he once jerked off in class and found a way so nobody would notice him EXCEPT YOU 😨 MF YOU WERE TRAUMATIZED
-he also doesn't know how to lock a door. so you'll just walk in and he'll be jerking off, or you'll turn a corner in his house and he'll be jerking off, you go to use the bathroom and he'll be jerking off. "I'm a teenage boy it's what we do!" BRUH GET A HOBBY
-if you don't know german, he'll randomly say dirty stuff to you in german. BUT THEN PROCEED TO GET MAD AT TOM IF HE TEACHES YOU BAD WORDS IN GERMAN 🙄
-he loves sitting in your lap when making out. like obviously he loves it when you sit in his lap, but he LOVES when he gets to sit on top of you and kiss you
-the first time he tried to give you hickies, he wasn't completely sure how to and ended up biting you 💀
-he's not a morning person, we all know this. so if you want to get him out of bed, you will have to drag him out by his feet.
-his dick is big. we all know this, but the first time you tried to give him oral, he accidentally slapped your face w/ his dick 😭
ANYWAYYSSS TY SM FOR THE REQUEST POOKIE I HOPE MY POLNISCH WASNT TOO BAD
taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles
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flipidifloppody · 5 months
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simon says 𐬿 c.sturniolo
summary: an innocent game of simon says but it takes a bit so innocent turn..
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pairing: dom chris sturniolo x fem!reader
warnings: smut, NSFW, pet names, degrading, sexual content, hair pulling, oral!(f receiving), backshots..
now playing
simon says- YC banks, B. smyth
00:00------2:44
"let's play a game called simon says"
"SHIT" i heard from down stairs and assumed it was chris' voice as i have known him for quite awhile, we have had a very jokingly flirty relationship but i never saw it that way. i quickly made my way down the stairs to see a pile of games on the floor and chris being over dramatic and rolling on the floor as i assume he had hurt himself somehow. i roll my eyes and let out a quick chuckle before going over to chris, "what happened here" i say with a playfulish voice.
"fucking stupid games fell on me i only wanted simon says" he says in an annoyed tone, i let out a breathy laugh and held my hand out for him to help him up. "who were you planning to play that with?" i look up at him waiting for an answer, "i was gonna ask you but no need to now is there?"
"just us what about we get madi and the others to come play to, i'm pretty sure you can't play simon says as a two player" he nods his head and makes his way into the massive living room of madis, i placed the box in the middle of the floor without saying anything and everyone nodded knowing what i was suggesting. Nick opened the box and looked up at the instructions and then back down at the game and then taking it out the box and placing down the cards next to it. "who wants to go first?" he asks looking around for any volunteers.
"i will" i say confidently thinking this wasn't gonna be that hard but god was i wrong. i quickly picked up a card and read it in my head. "is this supposed to be a dirty game?" i look up to a bunch of grinning faces
"how didn't you know" chris smirked, i look at him then back at the card and read it out loud,
"go into a room alone for 15 minutes with the person to your left" the person to my left was... chris. i look around the room and gulp. is this really happening?
"you gonna do it or what?" a random voice says from the other side of the room, i have no clue who it was because there was like 15 people at madis house since we were meant to have a get together or some shit i don't know i just came coz the triplets brought me. "go have fun" i heard matt say chuckling , i look at chris who was already getting up and waiting for me. i hesitantly got up and questioned myself. what if this ruins our friendship? what if he doesn't like it? what if, what if there's so many what if's i couldn't count them all. he was quick leading me into a spare room while the rest just watched us walk in and then as soon as we're out of sight they went back to playing the game as if it was normal.
i was soon to find out that that game was not a dirty game but that they got a different card from a dirty game and put it in the simon says box to get me and chris with each other because they thought there was some sort of 'sexual tension' or whatever.
my eyes widened when i was pushed against a wall by chris his hand resting on the top of my hips and his head in the crook of my neck, "you don't know how long i've wanted to do this for"
my breath hitches in my throat as i take a deep breath coz tonight we're gonna make a mess. i don't even know if i was mentally prepared for this i mean fucking my bestfriend? yeah, i mean it's not like i haven't fucked anyone before, same with chris but us together, it's like completely drifferent. i was comfortable with his and whatever but it just makes me feel weird. knowing that we basically grew up in madis house together because we'd always come here to hang out and now we're fucking in it? it's crazy.
he presses our lips together in a soft but hungry kiss sliding his tongue over and past my teeth to deepen it but before i could return the favour he broke it and started kissing and grazing down my jaw to my collarbone, which allowed me to let out a soft moan at the pleasure. he grinned against my skin hearing those noises that he created.
"love those sounds princess, wonder if i could make you make more?" i nodded quickly and looked down on him slowly playing with the hem of my shirt, "think you could take this of for me, beautiful?" i hum in acceptance as soon as he hears me he's quick to take of my shirt in one quick motion,i was wearing a hoodie and wasn't wearing a bra since i was literally just asleep, he stared at my chest, which made me feel nervous and i brought up my arms to cover my chest.
chris grabbed my arms and brought them back down to my sides. "no keep them there, your gorgeous."
a nervous smirk played on my face as i let out a shaky breath and just watched him, he took one of my nipples in his mouth and brushed the other one with the pads of his thumb. my head banged slightly against the wall, enough for it to hurt slightly but not enough for me to be in pain. i didn't care if it did or didn't really all i cared about was where this night was going to take us.
he trailed his fingers down my body and stopping right above the waistband of my shorts before switching his mouth to my other nipple. he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of my shorts and panties in one swift motion and took them off. but before even looking down or anything he brought us over to the bed close by to the door, and placed me on it. he stood over me just admiring my body before muttering ,"all mine." my cheeks went a bright pink and i screwed my eyes shut so i wouldn't have to be as nervous as i was before
he knelt down between my thighs and started kissing and licking stripes down my inner thighs, sending shivers down my spine. my eyes opened wide when i felt his tongue flicking up and down my folds, "already so wet for me and i haven't even done anything yet"
he sucked and nipped on my swollen clit, letting a moan slip from my throat and my eyes to screw shut again, before he stuck two fingers into my heat, overstimulating me more and more by the second. he curled his fingers every time he thrusted them into me, hitting the perfect spot over and over, almost pushing me over the edge.
"mm' close" as soon as i said those words he stopped all of his actions and stood back up, licking around his mouth and sucking my juices of his fingers. fuck.. this was not right i know it wasn't but it felt right. he leaned over me and met my mouth again in a hungry, opened mouthed kiss which soon lost its rhythm and became sloppy. he pulled away and pulled his shirt over his head. "simon says get on all fours"
i do exactly as he tells me to and quickly turn around and put my ass up in the air, "what a shame no other guys will be able to see this pretty ass of yours, it's all mine isn't it?"
i nod barely being able to get any words out due to the fact i was about to cum but i didn't, "words princess, i need words otherwise i won't do anything"
"fuck yes chris i'm yours!" i say quickly trying to keep it paced, he nods in satisfaction before quickly undoing his belt and letting it drop on to the floor along with his pants, he steps out of them and kicks them to the side, he slides of his boxers, which leaves him fully bare, i've never ever seen him so bare in my life bare in mind i've known him my full life and we're both 20.
his cock slaps against his lower chest as he strokes it a few times and he holds his hand out infront of me gesturing me to spit. i collect a wad of spit in my mouth and spit it onto his hand. he spreads it thoroughly in his cock before slowly sliding into me allowing me to adjust
i knew chris was big.. but not this big. i let chris know i was fully adjusted by giving him a quick nod, he started of slow and picked up his pace. taking his time. "chris please.."
"what have i said about using words? please what?" he said cockily, "please go faster.." he chuckled slightly and took a chunk of my hair in his fists pulling it back ever so slightly trying his hardest not to hurt me. he picked up his pace finally almost tipping me over the edge. i've been waiting for this all night and it's now just happening. my mind went blank and foggy, the pleasure was washing over me like anything. it was like i was in a complete new dimension, but no i was in a random bedroom fucking my bestfriend. "almost there.." i said slightly above a whisper, he didn't reply just kept going until i finally released. my cunt spasming on his cock releasing all around him.
"gonna cum allover this pretty back of yours that okay baby?" i nod in allowance as he pulls out of me letting white streaks of white spurt all over my back making patterns.
he collapses next to me, "that was instense" he says panting slightly. "trust me i know"
"that was a little longer than 15 minutes don't ya think?"
a/n: hey i made this one a little longer, i'm working on the matt series it'll probably be out some time this week when i'm motivated or smth just thought i'd write this to get me more into writing the series
@sturnsfav @guccifrog @hoesformatt @chrisownsmyheart @strawberrysturniolo @lovingmattysposts @worldlxvlys @astrolynnworld @sturnioloslurps
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spermeboy · 1 month
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pairings: chris pratt x male reader
request: Chris Pratt meets the reader, who was an avid fan on GotG as a teenager (IT WAS 10 YEARS AGO. WHAT?), and is now working on a movie of simialr concept in the same studio compound that Chris is working on. Reader is just fucking fanboying, all cute and shit and exclaiming how much he loves Chris’s work. Chris, having been pent up all day and unable to do anything due to being stuck on set (which, if you’re comfortable, leaves him sweaty and musky), decides to invite the reader for a “drink.” Reader genuinely thinks it’s a drink. When a hotel door shuts closed, a handsome DILF kisses him, and he’s told to turn around so said DILF can eat (his ass), he can’t help but oblige. Plap plap plap ensues (I’m jumping off a bridge for this last part)
warnings: SMUT !, anal sex, age gap, cum drinking, musk and sweat, ass eating, implied cheating, accidental cum.
MDNI + FDNI !
When Chris walked over to you in between scenes, your heart had literally skipped multiple beats. "Hey, I'm Chris," he puts out his veiny hand for you to shake. You bite your lip and take it. "I know who you are, and I'm a HUGE fan," you blurt out and begin rambling about how you love every single one of his movies.
Chris' smirk grows bigger and bigger as he watches how you ramble on about how much you love him and his work, not thinking before you speak until you say, "You always help me get off-" Your eyes widen at what you've blurted out.
Chris' face turns from shock to horny in almost an instant. He leans down to your ear and whispers, "Meet me at the motel at 6, I'm in room 28, I have special drinks there." He slowly walks away while wiggling his eyebrows at you. You confused face turns into an innocent smile, when you realise he just wants to get to know you over drinks, "he is so kind." you mumble out.
After Chris' long sweaty work day, he arrives back at his motel for the night. All he has to do now is to wait for that sweet ass he's been craving from afar.
You arrive at the sleezy motel, knocking on your celebrity crushes/co-workers door. Chris opens the door, and a pugent yet seductive scent corrupts your nose, causing you to instantly feel horny.
Chris gently takes your arm and pulls you inside his run-down motel room. He wastes no time pushing his lips against yours, completely taking you by surprise, yet you're not complaining.
He pulls away from the kiss with a smirk, enjoying the way you taste, "turn around for me, baby." You obliged, wanting him to do whatever he wants to you. He rips your trousers and underwear off and spreads your cheeks to reveal your tight pink hole.
A smirk grows on his face, and he watches it pulsate for him. He wastes not time and dives right in, lapping up your hole coating it in his saliva. He tongue continues pushing against your pulsating hole until it manages to get its way in.
He has quite a long tongue, so it's enough to get in there pretty deep, causing you to moan against the door. "F-Fuck! Chris!" You groan out your body, shuddering at the feeling of his tongue against your hole.
Chris' cock has been so untouched by his wife that he hasn't released in weeks, months it feels like. "I am going to fuck this virgin boy-pussy" he mumbles while lapping up your hole. He stands up and pushes your body further against the door, pulling out his rock hard cock and rubbing it against your hole.
"Look at how it pulsates, practically begging for me" he coos in your ear before thrusting his cock inside you without warning, you whimper against the door.
Chris doesn't hold back either. He needs this, the way your hole is already tightening and milking his cock. He pulls you away from the door and throws you onto the bed, causing it to bounce.
"I've never needed someone as much as I need you right now." He moans out as he strips his top off to reveal his hairy chest and rippling abs. He crawls on on top of you, pushing your face into his sweaty armpit.
"Breathe it in, baby, don't waste the smell." he moans out in shock as you begin lapping up the taste of his sweaty pits. You moan against his armpits licking and swallowing the scent.
You pull away, "fuck me!" You moan out, begging him for more. He lines up his cock with your hole and easily slides back inside, his cock already wanting to release in your warm boy-cunt.
He accidentally shoots his load inside of you without warning, his mouth in an O-Shape as he gasps. You giggle slightly. "Is my boy-pussy that good?" You moan out as your cock stiffens from your continuous jerking, shooting your load over your stomach.
"Hey! Don't laugh cause next time, I won't quit after one accidental cum" Chris says directly towards you, licking the cum off your stomach.
taglist - @starboye @mailmango @ghostking4m
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chimindity · 2 months
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Stress relief
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Summary | stepbro!jj comes home mad and takes his anger out to his stepsister. Request by @ziggyfaremen
Pairing | stepbro!jj x reader
Warning | NSFW, stepcest, dark-content, reader being innocent, JJ using reader, please do not read it if you're easily triggerable :((
A/N | this is my first time writing something THIS dark... I'm still a bit shy about it, but thanks you so much my babyy @ziggyfaremen for your request :')) Part2
✦ ⎯⎯ㅤִㅤ୭ ୨♡୧ ৎㅤִ  ⎯⎯ ✦
You are peacefully on your bed, scrolling on your phone since this morning, your mom and JJ's dad are gone for the weekend, which usually leads to an argument between your stepbrother and his dad.
You hum your favorite songs while texting your friends, the atmosphere in the house is calm, probably since you are all alone.
When suddenly a door slam is being heard, which must be your stepbrother who's back at home.
You decide not to pay too much attention and get back on texting your friends while you can hear the sound of his footsteps coming closer to your room, why would he want to be in your room?
That's when he opens your door, without even knocking, an angry expression forms on his face, he steps closer to the edge of your bed where you sitting, you stare at him.
-"hi, is everything okay?" You finally break the silence, his light blue eyes looking into yours, his hair is messy, the tight muscles in his arms are visible, seeming to srink his red tank top.
You stare at him, tilting your head to the side confusedly as he doesn't answer you but instead pulls his shirt over his shoulders to throw it on the ground.
-"JJ? Why did you take—" you cut yourself off, eyes widening at the sight infront of you, watching your stepbrother unzips his pants.
-"shut up, face down ass up on the bed, now" he doesn't look at you, already starting to stroke his cock while watching you do as he said.
-"JJ? What's happened?" You look over your shoulder, a wave of fear running through your mind, watching his cock spring free out of his pants.
-"what did I just tell you uh?" He gets closer to you, placing one of his feet on the bed while the other remains on the floor to steady himself behind you.
-"you're scaring me.. JJ!" You whine in a high-pitched voice, feeling the rough palm of his hands grabbing your ass, a few sobs quickly slipping out of your mouth, completely intimidated by your stepbrother.
He doesn't care about how you're feeling right now, he just needs to let his anger out, already tired of your pouty behaviour, his arm pulls your back against him, trapping in his firm grip, the more your whine causing him to tighten his arm around your neck.
-"and if you dare make a sound sis, I won't mind choking you til you pass out" you hate whenever he calls you sis as if you two were related by blood.
You simply nod your head and obey him, while his free hand reach his cock, bringing it next to your entrance, he chuckles feeling your cunt already dripping.
-"no panties uh? And she's even soaked" he smirkes, teasing your clit with his tip, you accidentally let a moan slips out of your mouth.
-"ya like being manhandled by your stepbro uh?" While he whispers those dirty words, he forces himself into you brutally, not giving you any warning.
You cry even harder at the harsh pain, not fully understanding what's happening, you never imagined your first time would go like this, and specifically with your stepbrother.
You keep whining as he thrusts deeper into your poor cunt, as he hears you sniff repeatedly his hand goes under your shirt to play with your breast.
-"m'sorry sis, m'so sorry shit, my dad fucking pissed me off" he grunts, feeling your walls clenching around his throbbing cock.
-"why are you doing this to me JJ?" You mumble quietly, not wanting to get him angrier.
-"It's not time for questions, please be a good uh girl and take it" his grip tighten around your neck, feeling his pace going faster.
-"JJ i'm always good for you! I-I always cook for you—" being tired of your mumbling he places his hand over your mouth, shutting you up.
-'m'not talking about this, sweetcheeks" somehow the pet name shows that he still cares about you.
The back of your neck rest on his shoulder, not caring about your pleasure at first but hearing you cry, make him feel bad, so he gently circles your bud causing you to clench around him, you feel his cock twitching inside you as you hear him groan louder.
He rubs your clit harder, you furrow your brows in discomfort at the burning feeling, before he feels himself getting closer to his climax.
-"fuck—" he pants, before releasing his warm seed inside your cunt, you start panicking and squirm away from his grip, while he pulls out before zipping back his pants.
-"JJ! W—what did you do?" You look at him, bottom lip quivering as you start sobbing again.
-"m'sorry baby, i'm so sorry, fuck I needed this okay? I'll make it up to you, I just couldn't hold back and—and you seemed so ready for me" he looks at you sitting on your knees, seeing the red mark around your neck, somehow make him feel bad.
His shaky hands gently holds your face, leaving a kiss on your forehead -"m'so sorry baby, your stepbro's really mean uh?" He chuckles, as you pull yourself in his arms, snuggling in the crook of his neck.
-"it's okay, I forgive you" you mumble, feeling your cheeks burning as he rubs your back, easing you down.
Even though he was mean to you, doing horrible things to you, you couldn't help but continue to love him.
Taglist
@nemesyaaa @jjsfavgirl @wearemadeofstardust0 @mrvlxgrl
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headcanonenthusiast · 9 months
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Alejandro Vargas NSFW headcanons
This was made with gender-neutral readers in mind.
Ladies, gentleman and everyone in-between, it's him. It's forehead man.
Alejandro is so FINE tho 😍 I'm so excited to be doing headcanons for this man. I'd learn Spanish just for him tbh.
(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)
Enjoy!
Nsfw under the cut.
-His hands are absolutely glued to your hips the whole time.
-He gets the widest, most shit-eating grin whenever he manages to hit your g-spot.
-"Listen to those moans. Fuck, is that it? Is that the spot right there, amor?"
-Very confident in the fact that he can make you scream. In fact, he wants you to be loud.
-"Thats it, scream for me. Grita mi nombre. God, the neighbors must be so jealous of me because they aren't the ones making you scream."
-Edges you a lot tbh. Getting to cum immediately w/ him is kinda rare.
-If you make him jealous by talking to someone else, or if you guys just haven't been able to spend time together, he's more likely to edge you for longer.
-"Don't start whining, hermosa/o. You asked for this. Why were you talking to them anyways, hm? Why waste your time on someone like that when you have me?"
-Even if you were just talking to a friend innocently or something, chances of Alejandro's jealousy rising is high.
-He trusts you not to cheat on him, he knows you love him, but that doesn't stop him from being a tiny bit jealous anyway. And that jealously and possessiveness totally seeps into your sex life.
-3 inches soft, 5 inches hard and yall already know it's thick af ( lord.have.mercy🙏🙏🙏🙏)
-The sex is either passionate and rougher or passionate and gentler depending on the mood. But, it's always super passionate. His attention is focused entirely on you, with much deeper strokes if it's gentler.
-Marks you up a lot and doesn't really care who sees them. He wants people to know that you're his.
-"There we go. Look at how pretty your neck is, covered with my hickeys."
-And if you try to wear something that covers the marks, he'll carefully pull it right off of you.
-"No, no. Don't hide the marks, cariño. Why would you be ashamed of showing off how good I make you feel?"
-Will not hesitant to spank you if he doesn't like how you're acting. Slaps your ass and even your pussy/cock with every word he says.
-"Don't use that fucking tone with me. Who do you think you are?"
-Makes you count every slap. If you lose count, he'll start right over and much more harshly. (My dyscalculic ass could never 💀)
-I just know that his ideal introduction to sex is very romantic. Like, candlelight dinner followed by slow dancing that escalates into him carrying you to bed kinda romantic.
-At the end of the day, Alejandro just wants to be close to you. He dislikes quickies for the fact that he wants to spend time and take his time with you. To Alejandro, there's no greater pleasure than the ability to make his partner feel good.
-Will totally worship your body if you're insecure about it. If you ever come to him with your insecurities, his mindset changes from fucking you until the bed breaks to making the sweetest, most tender love imaginable.
-"Aw, look at this body. This gorgeous fucking body. You're crazy for being insecure about all of this."
-"Do you have any idea how many times this body's made me cum? Dios, the thought of this body, the thought of your pussy/dick is enough to make me cum."
-Will also gently massage your thighs as they hug his hips while making love, no matter how big or small they are.
-"Dios mío, these thighs...tan jodidamente increíble."
-Demands that you tell him how amazing you are.
-"Say it, baby. Tell me how beautiful/handsome you are."
-And if you refuse? He'll just keep asking you to, threatening to pull out and not let you finish if you don't.
-"That's not what I asked, mi vida. Say it for me, say how amazing and sexy you are. No dejaré que te corras si no lo haces."
-But the best thing about sex w/ Alejandro if you're feeling insecure and do everything he says? He always let's you cum. Never edges you like he normally would. It's probably because he's not nearly as focused on himself and his own pleasure as he normally would be.
-Enjoys gently cumming inside of you during more gentle sex. Prefers cumming on your pussy/ass/dick or even your chest/belly if it's rougher, though.
-Often shuts his eyes as he finishes, fingers digging into your skin before his grip loosens and his eyes are glued to your face once more. He chuckles while showering your face in kisses, voice hushed and satisfied.
-"Dios mío, that was amazing. Can't believe I'm with someone as wonderful as you, mi amor."
-Almost always hopes you'll agree to taking a bath with him. Like I said, he's all about romantic intercourse, and there's nothing more romantic to Alejandro than getting to wash your body of the mess you've both created.
-And then you're gonna both fall asleep, Alejandro's strong arms wrapped tightly around you while he kisses the back of your neck and shoulders, whispering praises and adoring words.
-Oh, and he usually tries to stay up later than you. Why? Because the look on your face after sex, all satisfied and at total peace, makes him feel accomplished and happy for making you feel good.
Translations: (apologies if anything is inaccurate, online translators can only get you so far :()
Cariño=sweetheart/honey
Amor=love
Hermosa/o=beautiful
Mi vida=my life
Dios/Dios mío=God/my God
Grito mi nombre=Yell out my name
Tan jodidamente increíble=So fucking incredible
No dejaré que te corras si no lo haces=I won't let you cum if you don't
Alejandro has my ❤. He's just so.. 😍
Really enjoyed doing headcanons for him! You can probably tell that I had way more ideas for Alejandro than I did for Gaz (I'm so sorry Gaz enjoyers 😭). I've also intended to do Alejandro for a while, before even Ghost or König. I just did those two first since ik how popular they are.
I'll be doing more headcanons soon, probably more SFW ones, too, because I only have like 2 SFW headcanons on my page 😔.
Feel free to give me suggestions for who to do next!
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1800jjbarnes · 11 months
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◇ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟓 : 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 ◇
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God Isn't Here
【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Bucky wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?
『W.C』 : 3.70k
-> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: Slice of Life. Toxic family. Smut. ANGST. Sad Stuff.
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: BadBoy!Bucky x Religious!GoodGirl!Reader
[ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs] : Heavy religious background. Mention of a cult like life. Lots of trauma. Pet names. Swearing. Corruption and slight manipulation. Thigh riding. Dry humping. Oral. Crying turned to sobbing. (I'm sorry this is a shit show). Fingering. Sight sir kink (I can't help myself). When I say this is messy….this is MESSY, FILTHY, DIRTY. Breast play. Clothing is literally being ripped apart. Slight ass play and mention of anal. Hickies. Mention of sex toys. There is way too much dirty talk cause Bucky has a filthy mouth. Use of the name slut. So much sobbing, please forgive me. Cowgirl. Unprotected sex. Loss of virginity. Spanking.
Masterlist | Kinktober List
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Perfection. That was what your family described you as. Their perfect little daughter. Naturally pretty, above-average smarts and a people person. Well, that was what your parents dressed you as. They weren't half wrong to be fair. You wanted nothing more than to be the sweet daughter that your parents wanted. But once your heart fell for the mysterious man that stumbled in the back of your bookshop one day. Perfect was no longer the description to view you as.
Rough, mysterious, heartbreaking, bad boy. He looked like he jumped straight out of a dark romance novel. He was everything you were not, and when he laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted to know you, have you, hold you. To fuck the innocence out of you. But he proceeded with caution. Not wanting to scare you away. He was known as a player, someone that fucked around and partied most weekends…
Yet he changed.
Changed for you. He dotted on you. Followed you around like a loving puppy that found his favourite thing in the world. Which he had. You were his everything and the love of his life, and he would do anything for you. And he made sure you knew that every chance he could. Bringing you flowers to your work or gifting you with a home-cooked meal even though he wasn’t the greatest cook. He wanted you to know that he loves you. Forever and always. And when you were cuddling on the couch in your shared apartment―the apartment your parents didn’t know you had―one night, Bucky couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. He tried not to do something you didn’t want but fucking his fist to the thought of you was no longer working. He needed the real deal. And tonight he tried his luck. His touches were slow, sensual. You almost didn’t notice them while you were so focused on the new show Fionna and Cake in front of you. But when his fingertips grazed the end of your sleep shorts, your head snapped to him seeing he was completely focused on you, not even paying attention to the TV.
You gulped, looking at him with such wide innocent eyes. The tingle in your gut made you confused, but it also intrigued you, wanting to know what it was, but you were also scared it might be considered unholy. You see, you were fighting an inner battle. Yes, you had left your family's practice and ran away with Bucky after he convinced you of your family's toxic lifestyle. You wouldn’t ever consider your life being involved around a cult-like community, but yet it was all you knew. And when you opened a bookshop in your hometown, your parents made sure to monitor the shop like hawks, but neither of them would have thought someone like James Bucky Barnes would stumble into the doors of the sweet establishment. Without even realizing it, that day you started losing your faith in god, if you even had any. It was just a way of life to you and you didn’t know any better back then but now you explore the world day by day with your sweet lover boy and god definitely didn’t have anything to do with that.
“W-what are you doing?”  As if you couldn’t sound any more cute than you did right this minute. His blue eyes darkened, sucking in a breath as he watched you squirm. Your doe eyes watched him intensely, your hand snaking down to grab his, holding him still. Did you really not know what teasing was? Then again, you didn’t know most things until he came along. When he first kissed you, he still remembers the shocked expression you made and how you slapped his chest slightly saying ‘We aren’t supposed to do that.’ But now all you do is kiss him. Morning kisses, hello and goodbye kisses. If you walked into the room, he would grab you for a smooch. He loved kissing you, and even though you would not admit it, you craved them too.
“I’m just wanting to touch you, Doll.” His soft voice sent shivers down your spine. You gulped, not knowing what exactly he meant. You gave him a confused expression, and it finally clicked in his head that you didn’t know what was going on. “Can I touch you, baby?”
You smiled letting his hand slip into your own, tilting your head “But you are touching me Jamie.”
Oh fuck, you look so goddamn cute and it made him want to pin you to the couch and fuck you into next week. He wanted, needed to teach you this side of life you didn’t know about. Take it slow, Bucky repeated to himself, placing his hand free hand on top of yours. He closed the distance between your lips but just kept enough space to let you pick whether or not to actually kiss him. And when you gave him a simple smile before sealing your soft lips on his, he took it as a green light to push you further.
“I mean touch sensually...” He peaked your lips again. “Touch you where the ache it.” He kissed the corner of your mouth as both of his hands got free, letting his finger graze your top thigh before slowly slipping towards your inner thigh. Your eyes never left his, eyebrows knotting in anticipation. Your brain was screaming at you, saying what you were about to do was sinful and bad. But your body craved to see what he could do. Could he really help take that ache that pulses in your stomach away? The idea of giving yourself to Bucky more than frightened you… it excited you.
“What are you gonna do to me?” You didn’t mean to sound so seductive, but Bucky drank every word you spoke. And the way you said it would have any man eating out of your hand, yet you didn’t even notice. Merely thinking you were simply asking an innocent question.
“Oh, Darling.” He dipped his fingers further up your thigh, helping you open your legs without a thought, too focused on what Bucky might say. And he thought, for maybe two point five seconds on what he might say. Does he ease in and take it slow like his brain has been repeating for the past month, or does he just drop his filter and see how you react?
He chose to fuck around and find out….
“I want to put my fingers deep inside your pussy.” Your eyes widened at the lewd words that spilled off your lover's tongue. “I want to know what it feels like to fuck you, make love to you.” His fingertips graze your covered core and it makes you jump, whimpering out. You gripped his wrist trying to stop him but you didn’t move him away, too curious to see what he’d do. “Would you let me see what your cunt feels like angel?”
“Y-you can't make l-love to me yet. We aren't married.” That was what you took out of his whole confession. Man has got his work cut out for him. He had to laugh a low, deep grumble, making you shiver. His fingers were still playing with your covered core, trying to pull at the buttons of your pants. “We haven't decided if we want kids yet.”
“Kids?” Okay, now he was the one confused, “Who said anything about kids, Doll?”
“Y-you know…” damn now you feel stupid, of course, this was another thing your parents taught you wrong. You tried to learn things on your own, only just recently finding out what a male privates were called. You felt so small in this outside world, and you tried your hardest not to let Bucky see just how closed off you were growing up, but sometimes it slips out, just like now. And the only way to get out of this was to explain yourself. “You only mate to have bare children. No pleasure or love… it’s a ritual that a married couple performs to conceive kids.”
Bucky tried not to look shocked, but then again, he really wasn't. When he found out you were living in cult-like conditions, he did everything in his power to get you out of that situation whether you liked him to or not. He couldn’t just leave such a sweet thing like you to be devoured by the jaws of a sick bastard who played a so-called god. “My sweet, sweet baby. There is so much more to love-making than bearing children. Do you want me to show you?”
He gave you one last slow kiss, holding your cheek with his free hand, keeping you in place. You sigh in the kiss, feeling a kind of relief and safety. All he wanted to do was keep you comfortable and not do anything you were unsure of. But now you wanted to give back. Give back to his kindness and understanding. You wanted to know, to know what it felt like to be with someone completely. But your mind kept playing the idea that you were betraying your god. You were fighting an inner battle, and you didn’t know what to do. “Y-You can s-show me B-Bucky.”
He shifted his weight, turning to look at you straight on. He placed both hands on either side of your face before asking again. “I need you to say yes, baby. Do you want this? Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You might have said that a little too quickly for your liking, but Bucky. Oh, he’d been waiting for this moment, and it couldn’t be any more perfect. Grabbing your hips, he pulls you up onto his lap. Your face was flustered a bright red. Your hands instantly gripped onto his shoulders as his own snakes under your loose top, feeling your bare tummy. He kisses you on your lips, then a peck on your cheek, then jaw. Before moving down to your neck. His hot tongue licked a long strip against your skin, making you shiver, digging your fingers into his shirt. He chuckled, feeling your hips wiggle, trying to subconsciously relieve the ache.  He held your hip with his right hand, helping you move slowly, letting you take control for the moment. He wanted to ease you in, let you find your rhythm. “J-James I f-feel.”
“Feel what baby? What do you feel?” He pulled away to look at you, using his free metal hand to slowly move down your navel before landing just above your core. Your eyes stayed closed, rocking your hips slowly. Your clit was brushing against your jeans just right and it was sending your head into a spin. You didn’t know how to describe the feeling but it felt, good. Right, almost. And then he cupped your pussy making you jump.
“I feel hot… I think I-I’m sweating d-down….” You looked down, seeing his hand holding your core. He looked down to, knowing exactly what you were saying. Chuckling against, he rubbed his two cold metallic middle fingers along your covered slit.
“It’s not sweat, Doll. It’s called cum. It comes out of you when you’re feeling good.” he continued to rub you making your mouth fall agape slightly. He leaned towards your ear kissing the top of your neck before whispering. “and it tastes delicious too. Can you give me a taste baby?”
You hesitantly nodded, “Yes, but is…” He looks at you in your wide eyes. “ W-what about g-gods w…”
“Fuck god. He doesn’t know a good thing if it was staring at him in the face.” His voice was laced with aggression. But his lips against your neck were soft, gentle. “Forget god, baby. It’s just you and me.”
You and me…. Something he has said to you since you met. Sneaking out, he always said it was you and him against the world and the day you had packed your bag―with what little you had―and left while your parents were out, you knew he’d be there for you. You still wonder if your parents even read the note you left them. But then again, they most likely would have thrown it away, not caring for a sinner like you anymore. “I don’t know if I c-can…Bucky…”
He stopped. For a moment. Anger was surging through him. Your family fucked you up so much and all he wanted to was find each and every one of those preachers and kill them where they stood. He wanted to protect you, hold you. Love you. “Yes you can angel. You can do anything you want. You are so strong.”
And with that, you kiss him, taking in a big breath in through your nose. He pulled away first, making you chase his lips, but as his body sank onto the floor, making you watched with curiosity. He sat on his knees, never breaking eye contact with you. His hands find the buttons on your jean shorts, helping you loosen them before ultimately slipping them off. Everything was happening so fast yet so slowly as well. your body was shaking, feeling exposed without your pants, but as his gaze switched from yours to your core between your legs, you couldn’t help but whimper. “James…”
“It’s okay baby I’m going to make you feel good. I promise.” He lent in pushing your panties to the sides and finally getting a good view of your soaked cunt. “Fuck, you are so pretty baby.” he wasted no time in licking a long strip along your folds making you make a high-pitched noise that was music to Bucky's ears. He got to work, suckling, biting and tending to your core. You had thrown your head back against the couch, grabbing your lover's thick dark hair and spreading your legs wider for him without realizing. A strange feeling was brewing in your lower tummy and you couldn’t find the words to explain it. You were feeling all types of emotions, happiness, guilt, hatred, lust and everything in between. And then Bucky took his fingers against your core making you jump.
“Bucky, w-wait…” But your lover didn’t listen cause he knew you’d just start talking about god again. He needed you to listen to him and if words weren't going to work. Maybe a demonstration would. His mouth cages your clit while his finger begins to sink into you slowly and you felt electricity surge through you. Everything you did for your parents. The little girl that “raised right” was slowly slipping away and it was terrifying you. Tears started prickling down your face, feeling so good but so guilty at the same time. Why did your parents have to do what they did to you? Why couldn’t they have raised you normally? Were you could make your own mistakes. You hated them. You hated everything. Everything except Bucky. “G-god…”
You didn’t know what you wanted to say, but you knew he wasn’t going to listen. In fact, he snapped instead, making a chill pool inside you. “God isn’t here baby, now let me have my meal. Got that?”
“Yes sir…” You cried, feeling him put another finger inside you.
“Fuck say that again…” He groan against your clit.
“S-Sir…” You obeyed, feeling his fingers thrusted in a harsh pace, making you scream out, tears pouring out of you more and more with your mouth spilling out saliva onto your chin.
“That’s right, baby. This is my pussy yeah? I get to play with her―Fuck her whenever I want. Do you understand?” He chuckled, nibbling on your puffy nub.
“Y-yes sir. Please, have me whenever you’d like. I’ll be good. I promise. Fffuuck!!” You’ve never sworn before, but it felt like a word needed for this occasion. A band in you snapped, feeling yourself clench around Bucky's fingers. He slowed down until he came to a stop, but not pulling his fingers out just yet. He had to see your face, the way your nose scrunched up when his thumb pressed firmly on your clit and fingers slowly slipping from inside you helping your ride out your high. Hearing you swear was single-handedly the sexiest thing you could do. He stood up quickly, grabbing your wrist so he could pull you up making you stand. But your legs didn’t want to work so he had to hold you up.
“Don’t worry, baby. You’re always good, baby. My sweet girl.” he pecked your nose, making you smile. He rubbed away some of your tears with his left thumb. You both stood there for a moment, letting you catch your breath. But without you noticing, he undid his belt and jean buttons, shaking his jeans off. You only then noticed when a hard object poked your tummy. Looking down, you see his appendage under his boxers. You had to gulp worried as to how it might fit inside you. He licked his lips watching you inspect him, he had no shame, slipping his thumb under the band of his boxer before pulling it down, letting his cock spring free.
You gasped, seeing his dick whack his navel. Its red angry tip leaking out some pre-cum and twitching just at the thought you’d touch it. You looked back at his eyes with wide doe eyes, almost silently asking what was going to happen next. He swung you both around so his back was facing the couch before taking a seat on it. He pulled you along, letting you take a seat on his lap. The feeling of his hot cock against your pussy made you clench around nothing. Your nerves were shot and you were shaking with a mixture of fear and excitement.
“Ready?” He simply asked, snaking his hands under your top tugging on the fabric slightly. You nodded, answering with a small yes before he took the end of your shirt and ripped it down the middle. You gasped, moaning without thinking. Your chest was suddenly exposed to him, leaving you completely bare for him. He had a sadistic smirk painting his features, leaning down he licked your left nipple making you whimper out his name. Your hands found his shoulders, letting him attack your chest with harsh red and purple marks. His hands that layed on your hips moved behind you. One grabbed a hand full of your ass while the other one glided toward your asshole. He put pressure against your hole, and it made you wiggle in his grasp. He lived for your reaction.
“Sensitive Doll? I wonder what I would feel like to fuck this tight little ass too? Hmm.” His dirty words made you feel filthy in the best way. His thumb slipped into your puckered hole for a moment sending a new feeling through your system. Anything he did was pushing your buttons correctly. It was like he knew your body better than you did. “You’re just a dirty girl, aren’t you? Wanting to be fucking in the ass? Bet I could fuck this pussy while I have a pretty dildo up your ass. Hmm. Would you like that? You want to be my little slut?”
“I-I’m not dirty…I..I..” You didn’t know what to say, feeling conflicted in his words. But he couldn’t care. Your body was reacting perfectly to his words, and that’s all he needed.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll fuck you nice and full. And then we can go shopping. I plan on showing you all the pleasure you’d been missing out on.” his laugh was lewd, almost cruel sounding and you couldn’t help but moan in response. He lifted you up slowly without you taking much notice, only focusing on his finger thrusting in your asshole softly. It was only when a sharp pain started forming in your front you snapped your eyes open looking down.
“F-fuck…JAMES!!” he helped you sink down slowly until you had him completely nestled inside your aching cunt. You were crying again. But it was different this time. The pain was only slight, you actually didn’t mind the pain. But it was the value of what you had just done. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you sobbed. Crying from all the frustration. All the anger you had against your parents. Against your community. You had now completely turned your back on the god you once worshipped. All your life learning certain things was for nothing.
“Shhhh. It’s okay.” he rubbed your back, feeling a tingle in his gut. God, you felt so good, your pussy was clenching him perfectly but he felt sorry for you. You had lived only one way and he came in and changed your life in a blink of an eye and it wouldn't had been easy one bit for you.
He had made a promise to himself that night. While his hips started to move and your body started to stutter with him. While his lips were on yours or sucking sharply on your neck. While his hands smacked your plump ass helping you ride his cock at a desperate pace. And when he bent you over the edge of the couch so he could fuck you from behind while you creamed all over his cock for the fourth time. He was going to love you, now and forever. He was going to teach you new things every day and always make sure you were the best version of yourself. And he was going to also fuck you in every room of this house…
That last part might of just been more for his sake but it’s the thought that counts.
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lastoneout · 2 months
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Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)
And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.
I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".
Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!
Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.
So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.
(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)
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