#analog horror band project

[thelostandfoundproject]

Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've posted. College and life stuff has kept me busy but I'm back! This drawing is still very much a work in progress but I drew a little design for our character Tv who's the antihero of the story! I don't want to give too much away for future arg stuff once we have the money to make this a reality. The goal is to make a physical object head costume with a working screen and make an indie rock/alternative band and with a horror gimmick and a horror comedy arg story for people to follow. There's just so many cool ways to hide things in sound and music videos but the hard part is getting money for it all. I'm very excited though, and I hope more people learn about us and get excited so we can make this a reality!

Also canonically? That's his boyfriend's hoodie. Tv's boyfriend wears it constantly so Tv remembers him when he wears it. After all, it wouldn't be an analog horror story without queer characters. 💗📺📽️💕📼

[desire-mona]

dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun

- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.

- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver

- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.

- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.

- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.

- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.

- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.

- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.

- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.

- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.

- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.

- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)

- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.

- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.

- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)

- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.

bonus! chris and keating! just for you!

- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.

- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.

[fayeiswriting]

Writeblr Intro! 🌷

Hello everyone! I'm Faye (she/her). I'm a 26-year-old office worker who loves hiking, TTRPGs, cats, and writing! It's been a hot minute since I've used Tumblr, but I'm willing to give it another try since there's such a wonderful, thriving writing community here!

I've had time to start fleshing out a few of my story ideas recently, and I hope to publish both novels and serialized web novels!

My preferred genres are definitely fantasy and horror, but I'm also a fan of sci-fi. I'm also a huge sucker for found family, magic with consequences, defying fate, and bittersweet victories.

I'm totally open to ask and tag games! I'm here to meet cool people with cool projects and maybe learn a thing or two along the way, so please force me to interact! 😊

My project list is under the cut! (Some of them don't have actual titles yet because I'm bad at naming things, whoops)

dragonshard

a high fantasy story featuring cosmic horror space dragons, soul-devouring magic, funky little creatures, experimental potion brewing, ride-or-die friendships (after they get past the initial paranoia), and the inevitability of change.

hollow worlds

a science fantasy story featuring looking into the void and the void looking back, planetary arts and crafts, sentient magic, discovering self-worth, and fighting the government.

the eye of the abyss

a gaslamp fantasy story featuring portals to hell, spooky specters, psychic warriors, soft lesbians, gay panic, reincarnated villains, and destroying the world for the sake of love.

echoes of our dark demise

a high fantasy story featuring time travel (kind of???), surprise fatherhood, political intrigue, chosen ones and fated villains, badass siblings, angelic/demonic analogous forces, and a band of mercenaries just trying their best.

[wetratheadcanons]

some battinson headcanons cause i still think about him almost a year later but 60% is actually just me projecting onto him

is autistic (obviously), but also has adhd

he also deals with intrusive thoughts, it's why his no-kill-policy is so important to him

loves video games, obscure internet lore and horror - especially analog horror and found footage

his favourite games are project deepweb, he solved it in just a little under 2 hours, and vampyr, he always plays the pacifist run despite it being harder

has a whole wall dedicated to the five nights at freddy's lore, scott cawthorne might be his biggest enemy

absolute animal magnet despite being kinda terrified of all of them

can't go anywhere that has animals because they're immediately flocking to him

the whole "introvert at a party finds the dog" - situation but instead the dog finds bruce and refuses to leave

ace was the first animal bruce wasn't ever really scared of, alfred thinks he may have been trained to be a psychiatric service dog prior to his adoption

wherever bruce is in the tower, ace isn't far away, his presence calms bruce

prefers loud music, he doesn't like being alone in his head too much and the noise helps him

apart from nirvana and my chemical romance, his favourite bands are ghost and ice nine kills because he likes their consistent themes

selina gifted him a pair of pink cat-ear headphones once and they're the only pair he ever wears at home

he claims it's just because they're comfortable but everyone knows it's because he loves them

eats when he's hungry but rarely at specific times, it doesn't make sense to him

he can't really eat after waking up

doesn't eat meat, he feels like it lies too heavy in his stomach

he also doesn't like the smell of cooked meats or fish

he loves sour fruits and has a mild sweet tooth

has a caffeine addiction but he doesn't like the taste of coffee, prefers black and green tea (to alfred's delight) and energy drinks (to alfred's horror)

he's trans ftm who is either gay or bi with a preference for men (he doesn't know and doesn't care to find out)

selina and him never went further than their kiss, bruce will always put gotham before anything else (until dick comes along) and selina needs a freedom that he can't give her

they also both realised it was a spur of the moment thing since they barely knew each other at that time and found they're better off friends

they're co-parenting a kitten though it's adorable really

bruce found her half dead on patrol one night and called selina in a panic about what to do, they named her chewy

ace loves chewy, she sleeps on his head, bruce has an entire folder on his phone dedicated to pictures of them

had a robin hood phase when he was 6, tried to steal from his parents to give to people in need

alfred continually reminds him of this after he takes in dick

his favourite rogue is ivy, they have important conversations (as in ivy talks and bruce hngs) about climate change while bruce tries to stop her from murder

he implements policies build after her ideals into wayne enterprise

his respect for her rises after she gets together with harley

for all that he fights it, he can't sleep without the sound of gotham - which includes gotham typical crime

he thrives when he's alone, it's how he does his best work, be it batman or wayne enterprise

has trouble admitting defeat, dick joining him as robin helped him in that department a great deal

is pierced. he did almost all of them himself, alfred has a heart attack everytime he spots a new one

the public has a weird badboy image of him, bruce has no idea where it came from

doesn't bruise easily but is still constantly in pain

has an absolute shit posture, social anxiety and crime fighting don't help

sleeps in the worst positions humanly possible

has a weird thing about mirrors, avoids them as much as he can

doesn't give interviews ever, it's part being a social recluse, part everything the press did to his parents, part hating to be perceived

has troubles with empathy, but his compassion makes up for it in great detail

dick uses him as a jungle gym, he pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it

when bruce is working on cases in the cave, dick hangs head down off of bruce's back with his legs over bruce's shoulders

dick claims it helps him think, bruce knows it's because he doesn't want to be alone

bruce loves the relationship dick and selina have, might be a little jealous that cat got through to the boy much faster than him though

after taking in dick, bruce makes sure to show alfred that he actually does see him as a father figure - regrets all the times he told him that alfred's not his father

that's all i have for now

[decemberhigherpower]

andre hcs 🤯

-andre has really bad acne, all over his chest and his back. he usually wears a rash shirt while swimming.

-andre's embarrassed about liking elton john. he outwardly projects a tough exterior of metal and hardcore, but in truth, 'blue eyes' can make him cry like a baby.

-andre think skyler's a bitch and refuses to accept anything else. he thinks walter white's a badass; he doesn't want to deconstruct him as a character or recognize his flaws, even though he's smart enough to.

-when looking for something in the garage, andre will sometimes come across his toys from when he was little and misses being a child; so free of expectation or responsibility or hostility.

-he once had vague aspirations about being a film director.

-andre wants to learn to play the guitar but doesn't want to go through the phase where he's bad at guitar so he doesn't.

-andre has major problems controlling his anger- he's drawn blood multiple times by pressing his fingernails too hard into his palm and he's always tense.

-drive (2011) made him cry but he'd never tell.

-his favourite bands are leathermouth, nine inch nails, mindless self indulgence, system of a down, the flaming tsunamis, graveyardguy, today is the day, nirvana and KMFDM.

-andre sleeps with one pillow on his bed.

-he was super into creepypasta before it went mainstream (his favourite was ted the caver), and also super into analog horror, but then they got popular and he dropped them as soon as they did.

-his interest in ted the caver sparked a brief but intense interest in caving disasters; the ones he was most interested in were the mossdale caving disaster and floyd collin's death.

[some-unlucky-girl]

I’m new to this whole blogging thing if I’m gonna be frank. I mostly just hopped on here because I’m tired of the Reddit crowd and my usual brand of negativity doesn’t really jive well the in crowds of discord so now so I guess I’m just here now. So let me introduce myself I’m billet and about a year ago I started going to full sail for audio production.

Music has always been one of my passions and I spent my confused and edgy teen years trying to smash together metal licks with my shidiot teenage boy friends to pretty much no real success. Between being broke ass trailer park kids and lack of drummers and bass players. We really didn’t have the what we needed to really record anything really.

Anyway by the time I was 17 after many falling out with my current set of piers. I was depressed and alone as I wanted to be with no one for company besides this white boi rapper drug dealer. My now late mother used to rent out my room at the time to the local dealers for some extra side skrilla and he happened to be one of them.

We just kinda hit it off at the time and would smoke hella gas and watch dragon ball on vhs tapes. He just preferred them to digital formats. So one I were were chilling and I was on abit of a tirade about how I really missed making music how I couldn’t really do it anymore and yadda yadda yadda. When he stopped me and pointed out that the crappy computer my mother had just procured for me. Was fully capable of recording my vocals. He showed me how to boot up garage band and that day I recorded the worst cover of from first to last note to self you’ll ever hear.

From then on I world get random instrumentals I’d find on YouTube and just go to town. I have like a fraction of my old stuff from then on my old sound cloud with run of the mill 2014 edgy and offensive titles on a few which I regret now in hindsight.

After I lost my old laptop and my life fell to pieces during Irma i was 19 at the time. Once I got back on my feet I spent a few years moonlighting as an emo trap artist. As is the usual for metalcore scene washouts who couldn’t hack it within those circles.

Life got in the way again after about 2 years of rough whiny sad boi songs . Me and my partner moved states and we got our own space again but I still didn’t have a good computer or mic to record with. Because we were kinda hurting for cash I used to donate plasma at our local blood bank. Well one day I finished up my usual donation I had one of the other donors offer me a ride. I didn’t really think anything of it so I accepted and the bitch neglected to tell me her car didn’t have breaks until after we were on the road. One near death experience later I decided to go back to school for something I’ve always be interested in.

I’ve always been a fan of horror and I had recently finished a few analog horror series’s. Aswell as plethora of movies and games. A lot of which were very fresh in my mind and I still think about to this day. Being a shoegaze enjoyer and recently at the time having just discovered sigilkore. It’s basically if trap and hyper pop had an edgy bastard child. I figured why don’t I try to take some of the mixing styles I’ve heard in sigilkore and the density of some shoegaze projects I liked. Blend it together and shit fuck it into some horror inspired big cringe. There is this one artist called shedfromthebody she did this project where she was kinda larping as a weird fae creature thing in her music videos. So after I made my first song in years splinter. I figured well I’m a satanist why don’t I right songs in the Kayfabe of me being a demon who feeds on dreams and negative energy thus the reason why my first mixtape that I have embedded here. Is called dream eater. From there I would find free beats remix them and record my vocals over them.

Now I’m pretty done with my schooling. So I’ve trying to focus finishing up so I can work on my beat production skills. Well anyway if you read all of this thanks I always appreciate when anyone gives me the time of day. If I stick around I’ll prob keep posting

End of edgy backstory

[silly-little-mann]

about me stuff

🤷🏻-words

🏳️‍🌈-identity stuff

🦋-brain stuff

❤️-interests

‼️-DNI

currently skipping class and got bored so I’m gonna make one of these 🤷🏻

🤷🏻hi, my names mattea. I go by q bunch of different nicknames and stuff (Mattie,Matteo,Matthew) so js use whatever (if ur alex yu can call me matpat😽)

🏳️‍🌈I’m bi+demisexual and genderfluid (i think?)

🏳️‍🌈I mainly use any pronouns but obviously since I am genderfluid my main preferred pronouns changes pretty often

🏳️‍🌈today I am using: all/any pronouns!

🦋I have adhd and anxiety (possibly something else as well but I don’t like self diagnosing myself with things so I’ll js keep with what I’m professionally diagnosed with)

🤷🏻I like to draw and make kandi so sumtimes I’ll post pictures or little things about that

❤️INTEREST LIST(also specifying what each thing is cuz I’m awesome)

❤️bungo stray dogs (anime), omori (video game), ddlc (video game), Jackson’s diary (webtoon), the walten files (analog horror series), the Mandela catalog (analog horror series), be more chill (musical), camp camp (series), dear evan hansen (musical), five nights at freddy's (video game), hamilton (musical), heart stopper (show), heathers (musical), helluva boss (series), lemon demon (band/singer), my chemical romance (band/singer), newsies (musical), project sekai (video game), ride the cyclone (musical), sanders sides (series),the arcana (video game), the guy who didn't like musicals (musical), the last of us (video game/show), the smiths (band/singer), the walking dead (video game/show)

❤️(Whoever acc reads all of that I’ll marry u)

‼️DNI LIST

‼️homophobes+transphobes (why r u guys even here??), ablists, racists, basic DNI criteria obvs, proshippers, furry haters, dsmp ppl (if ur on here..), and Alex (/j Ofc)

that’s pretty much it, bye bye ❤️❤️

[behindtheband420]

I need friends so repost and follow if you like

-Green Day+side projects

-Fall Out Boy+side projects

-My Chemical Romance+side projects

-Twenty One Pilots

-90s punk bands and aesthetic

-Gore 😉 (seriously don't come on this blog if you can't even handle a papercut)

-2000s emo aesthetic

-Jojo's bizarre adventure

-Horror films

-Horror stories

-Analog horror

-South Park

-Aqua Team Hunger Force

-My art please like my art

[matthewburnside]

SELECTED WORK OR INTERVIEWS APPEARING IN LITERARY MAGAZINES:

2023

“Fable” Prose Poem, Nurture Literary Journal. Forthcoming. 

2022 

“A Tooth is a Tree” Poem, The Meadow. “Perpetuum’s Sonata” Fiction. Cream City Review. “No Exit: A Gallery of Existential Horrors” Nonfiction, Post Road. “Here is a Little Book to Comfort You During These Unusually Dark Times” Chapbook, Poems, Selcouth Station Press. “Transmigration of the Soul: a Cheat Sheet” Story, Phantom Drift Limited. “Hungers | Hunches| Hunts | Haunts” + “True Story” Stories, The Pinch.

2021 

“An Advent Calendar to Assay the Dolorously Heartsick” Hybrid, Meow Meow Pow Pow. “Technologies of Sorrow” Poem, The Shore. “Attention All Poets!!!” + “Can You Just Be Serious Already, Please?” Prose Poems, Sledgehammer. 3 “The Artist of the Ugly” Story, Contrary. “Not a Prose Poem” Prose Poem, Unbroken Journal. “Ramshackle Heavens” Prose Poem, Ice Floe Press: Pandemic Anthology. “Reliquaries of the Loveless” Story, Hominum. “Ghost Story” Story, Hobart After Dark. “Encore” Story, BULL. “Infinity Paradise Oblivion Cubicle” Story, Trampset “Digital Dreaming in Analog” Story, Heavy Feather Review. “Starskins” Story, Hobart. “Caustics: A Love Story” Story, Always Crashing. 

2020 

“Three Prayers” Poems, Rejection Letters “I cut my hand on a flower sharp with absurdity” Prose Poem, Giallo Lit “¤ Clockwork Melancholies ¤” Flash Fairy Tale, GASHER Journal “Young Escher Reconsiders the Human Heart as a Series of Tessellations Unspooling Toward Eternity” + “All of Tomorrow’s Rust is Electric,” Prose Poems, No Contact “∂ Tetherlings ∂”, “₾ Pilgrimage ₾,” Flash Fairy Tales, Lammergeier “Postlunar Lovesong” Poem, Pithead Chapel “The Prognosticators” Short Story, Okay Donkey “Meditations on an Echo in a Cave – Part I: A Brief History of the Coffee / Tea Break in Nintendo’s Mother Series, Writing as Getting Lost, Bombs, Wolves, Wax Jesus, & The Art of Pretending to Pray” Nonfiction, Grimoire “Wiki of Infinite Sorrows” Novel, KERNPUNKT. Forthcoming “13 objects of obscure power” Digital Chapbook (poetry, hybrid) – [https://matthewkburnside.wixsite.com/13objects] “Dear Wolfmother – Part 3, Serialized Digital Novel, Heavy Feather Review. Forthcoming 

2019 

“Secondhand Heavens,” Story, Cartridge Lit “Moments After My Wife Informs Me from the Passenger Seat That Lightning is Merely a Bundle of Negatively Charged Ions but What We Famously Know as Lightning Is Actually Just the Positive Flash of Afterlight Crawling Its Way Wounded Back Up the Sky,” Prose Poem, The Hunger “Story of a Dollhouse,” Poem, 8 Poems “There,” Poem, The Stay Project “Dear Wolfmother - PARTS I&II: Allegro/Summer”+”Adagio/Autumn” Serialized Digital Novel, Heavy Feather Review “Interview with Josh Denslow,” Interview, Lit Reactor “Parting Letter,” Nonfiction, Brevity blog 

2018 

“Rules to Win the Game,” Novel, Spuyten Duyvil “Meditations of the Nameless Infinite,” Poetry Collection, Robocup Press. 

2017 

“A Topography for Cataclysmic Dreamers,” Mixed Media Collaboration, 7X7 “The Architecture of Emotion,” Interview with A.A. Balaskovits, Cartridge Lit “Band-Aids are Some Bull,” Poem, Lit.Cat “Brief Index of All My Past Lives Leading Up to You,” Poem, Maudlin House “Postludes: An Interview with Matthew Burnside,” Interview with Koh Xin Tian, Ploughshares blog “On Postludes,” Interview with Lauren Prastien, Michigan Quarterly Review “An Interview with Matthew Burnside,” Interview with Patrick Font, Arcadia 4 “An(other) Interview…,” Interview with Sarena Ulibarri. Spec Fiction blog 

2016 

“The World is Flat” Poem, JMWW, Exquisite Duet “Spies” Story, Day One “Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost” Poem, Cartridge Lit “Totidem Verbis” Digital Poem, Permafrost 

2015 

“In Search Of: A Sandbox Novel” Interactive Novel-in-Progress, Best American Experimental Writing  “Six Books to Light the Way Through the Darkest Night(s) of Your Soul” Blog post, Ploughshares “Reading as Intoxicant, Part II: Ten Books That Are Basically Drugs” Blog post, Ploughshares. “Reading as Intoxicant, Part I: Neurochemical Qualities of the Modern Manic Page Peeler” Blog post, Ploughshares “Carefully Curated Catastrophes” Blog post, PANK “In Search Of: A New Media Crash Course” Blog post. PANK “My Literary Zombie Apocalypse Dream Team” Blog post, Ploughshares. “Interactivity and the Game-ification of Books” Blog post, Ploughshares. “Stories You Can Touch” Blog post, Ploughshares “Bestiary” Fiction, Los Angeles Review “Postludes” Fiction, Gingerbread House “The Devil (and God) in the Details” Nonfiction, Passages North Blog “Rules to Win the Game” Fiction, MARY: A Journal of New Writing [reprint] “Five Literary Games” Blog post, Ploughshares “The Virtue of Stillness” Blog post, Ploughshares “An Incredibly Brief Introduction to New Media Lit” Blog Post, Ploughshares “Is Anyone Reading Your Blog Posts?: Building a Literary Community in the Age of Facebook” Blog post, Ploughshares 

2014 

“On Bitterness” Nonfiction, Passages North Blog. July 25 “I’m Sorry Princess But Your Plumber Is In Another Castle,” Nonfiction, Entropy. July 13. “As We Speak Pink is Pissing in the Mouth of Tyranny,” Poetry, Black Heart Magazine. June “I am a Quantum Wizard,” Poetry. Literary Orphans “Twelve Classic Poems Rewritten By Twelve Classic Video Games,” Poetry, Cartridge Lit. "Directing James Franco," Nonfiction, DIAGRAM. Issue 14.2. “The Root to Heel is Peeved with Ghoul Intestines," Poetry, The Electric Encyclopedia of Experimental Literature/The NewerYork “Anti-Midnight in the Kingdom of Yes” + “Consequence of Splitting the Atom,” Poetry, OmniVerse [reprint]. ZombieVerse: Resurrection Issue 

2013 

“Oblivion’s Fugue,” Fiction, Revolution House [reprint]. Volume 3.3. December “Questionable Lessons on the Craft of Writing Deciphered from Some Shitty Translations of My ‘What Would I Say’ Results,” Nonfiction, Sundog Lit Blog “Novel Excerpt from In Search Of” + “Interview with Matthew Burnside,” Fiction, Interview, Squalorly “My Kingdom for a Placebo,” Fiction, Schlock Magazine “Mow a Field of Flux” + “Iguana Ambulance,” Poetry, The Electric Encyclopedia of Experimental Literature/ The NewerYork “Preludes,” Fiction, Prick of the Spindle. Vol. 7.2 “The Zombie Apocalypse Will Be Televised?” + “Anatomy of a Clockwork Cock” + “Four 5 Ways to Drown a Cloud,” Poetry, Literary Orphans "In Japan There Are Crows as Big as Bicycles: An American’s Brief but Indispensable Guide to the World at Large," Nonfiction, The Molotov Cocktail “J Franco Uploads a Video of Himself Singing Ke$ha to YouTube,” Nonfiction, Defenestration. April 17 “Index of Humilities: a Self-Study (of Sorts),” Nonfiction, Sundog Lit Blog. March 11 "Careening Down the Highway in a Stolen Bumper Car, Slappy Sullivan Has His Last Laugh" + "The Puppy Apocalypse Will Not Be Televised" + "At the Sour Patch Kids' Birthday Party," Fiction, Black Heart Magazine. February 19 "note found on vanity mirror one hour after your melting away," Poetry, Interrobang Magazine "For Kevin," Fiction, Apt "For Mom," Fiction, Necessary Fiction "For Dad," Fiction, Monkeybicycle "On the Benefits of a Lego Heart, Which Unlike Human Hearts Can Be Rebuilt Again and Again Knowing the Resilience of Their Delicate Construction Even as They're Being Smashed Against Something like a House or Tree Trunk or Even Your Daddy's Old Pickup Truck With the Missing Left Rearview Mirror and Faulty Cab Lights," Fiction, Hobart. January 30 "Horoscapes," Poetry, Menacing Hedge 

2012 

"Chronology of a Black Hole,” Poetry, Ilk. Issue 6 "11 More Inflexible Rules for Upstart Writers," Nonfiction, PANK Blog. December 3. "For Heather," Fiction, Bartleby Snopes. Issue 9 "Romance: Beyond Thunderdome," + "Death Metal Music Box," Poetry, Used Gravitrons. Issue 9 "Cosmonauts/nots/knots," Fiction, Ninth Letter. Debut Online Issue. "Primer for Imaginary Theft," Poetry, Unshod Quills. October 10. "Into the Purple," Poetry, Photography, Extracts. October 3 "Only the Gods Know What Steve Buscemi is Capable Of," Fiction, Untoward. Volume 2, Issue 12 "Totems for New Combustible Life," Poetry, OF ZOOS. Issue 1.2 "The Internet Brushes Her Teeth With Candy Skulls," Poetry Collaboration, co-written with Nathan Blake, OF ZOOS. Issue 1.2 "Poem from the Cobbled-Together Statuses of Mom's Facebook Friends," Poetry, Rorschach Occasional "Futures," Fiction, LITnIMAGE "On the Failure of Language to Comfort You Following the Death of Your Pet Rock, Pebble Without a Cause," Poetry, The Northville Review. September 4 "This Poem is a Legitimate Threat," Poetry, Banango Street. Issue 2 "Manifesto in Autopilot," Nonfiction, The Doctor T.J. Eckleburg Review. August 6. "Nineteen Uses for a Room Its Walls Perfumed With Kerosene," Poetry, Radioactive Moat "For Kylie," Fiction, Jersey Devil Press "A Brief/Infinite Summer of Playing House," Poetry, Gargoyle "The City She Sings Noir, Softly First & Then Without Mercy," Poetry, A-Minor. July 30. "Dear Poem," Poetry, The Fiddleback "11 Inflexible Rules for Upstart Writers," Nonfiction, PANK Blog. July 3. "Concerning the Sad Magician," Poetry, Word Riot "Sunken Dreamers' Almanac," Fiction, Pear Noir! Issue 8. "Escapology," Fiction, NAP. 2.10 "Oblivion's Fugue," Fiction, The Stone Hobo "A Good Mandible is Hard to Find," Poetry, Birdfeast. Issue 3. Summer 6 "Karma Sutra” + "Trading Cards for the Legally Paranoid" Poetry, Dirtflask. Issue 3 "Anti-Midnight in the Kingdom of Yes" + "Consequence of Splitting the Atom" Poetry, > kill author. Issue 18 "Ahmed Builds a Miniature Trebuchet Out of Milk Cartons and Popsicle Sticks, Aims it at Nobody," Poetry, elimae "Yul Brynner Doesn't Give a Motherfuck" + "No Orgasm Will Ever Make Me Feel the Way Morgan Freeman's Voice Sounds" + "Trapped in Gary Busey's House, One Text Left" Poetry, Dinosaur Bees. Issue 4 "How to Build a Human Child From Spare Parts," Poetry, Used Furniture Review. February 3. 

2011 

"Revival," Fiction, Juked. November 15 "This Poem Will Not Save You," + "Romance like a Pneumatic Hiss" + "Tao of Right Now" Poetry, The Chaffey Review. Issue 7 "Literary Short Story: A Mad Lib," Fiction, PANK. Issue 6 "Robots in Tokyo," Pale Horse Review, Poetry "Emily on Fire, Waltzing, Waiting for the Rain," Poetry, Ginosko, Issue 11. "Rules to Win the Game," Poetry, Zahir "21st Century Postmodern Love Song" + "Scenes From a Fractious Lucid Dream," Poetry, Psychic Meatloaf "Moon on Fire," Fiction, Revolution House. Issue 2. "Biography," Fiction, decomP "Ballad of a Wingless Butterfly, Torn Asunder By Unforeseen Windstorms," Fiction, The Dirty Napkin. Volume 4.4. "Promethean Proclamation," Poetry, Danse Macabre. Poésie D'été: Summer Issue "Procession of the Dogface Lepers," Fiction, Gloom Cupboard. Issue 128. "Pan's Lobotomy," Fiction, State of Imagination "Ballad of a Bumblebee Trapped in Honey," Fiction, Contrary, Summer Issue. "Splinter," Fiction, Short, Fast, and Deadly. Issue 81 "Hey, got a light?" Fiction, Pulp Metal Magazine. May 29 

2010 

"Cautionary Notes on a Blood-Splashed Sneaker Sole, Size 6½," Poetry, PANK. November "Headline," Fiction, The Cynic Online Magazine. Volume 12, Issue 9. September "Adrift," Fiction, Barrier Islands Review, Issue 4 "Be a Minecatcher" + "Meditations of the Nameless Infinite" Poetry, Neon Magazine, UK. Issue 23, Spring 

2009 

"Dog Death Requiem," Fiction, Concho River Review. Vol. XXIII, Spring

[thelostandfoundproject]

Margaret my absolute beloved!! 🎬📽️💕

The absolute best and first prop we've found for the Lost and Found analog horror music project!! She's a beautiful Kodascope Eight Model 70 home film projector from the year 1938 or 39 and she's absolutely beautiful! She even came with a mysterious blank film reel with the name Margaret scratched into the case. She's in such wonderful condition and we both love her so much. 🥺💕

-Olly Frog

[wolfaartmation]

About me! :D

Hello, welcome to my main blog! Where I do reblogs and share my art <3

I'm Wolfa but you can also call me Charly! I am 18+ and fr*nch buddhist with ADHD. I'm a trans man (he/him), panromantic and very gay.

I am an artist/animator mostly known for Warrior Cats stuff such as MAPs (Multi Animators Projects, not the other one...)

I have some side blogs that might interesst you!

@wolfa-battlecats-designs <- My Warrior Cats designs blog for... my warrior cats designs klskjsnks by Erin Hunter

@warriors-hearts <- Blog for my Warrior Cats x Kingdom Hearts AU!

My ask box is always open if you have questions about my art, ocs, personal opinions etc.. (I will get cancelled on twitter dot com)

I do commissions! If you want to know if they're open/want to know the TOS/prices/etc... please go to this link :)

Here's my socials if you guys want to follow me on there too!

Art fight! (Team: Werewolves) I'll always try to do more points than you in my revenges >:)

Toyhouse! If you want to get to know more about my ocs

Instagram! If you want to follow me there too (Theres more art here as it's older than my Tumblr)

Youtube! If you want to take a look at my animations/MAPs/etc..

I am not consistent in therm of posting art, because senior high school is torture who tf got a nice high paying job for working from 8am to 6pm frfr, plus I have to pass my French diploma this trimester (don't ask why it's a France thing).

Speaking of inconsistencies I'm a self taught artist since... oh god 2013?? Even longer like I draw since childhood soo... So yeah I don't have a consistent art style as I like to experiment a lot on it!

I mostly like to draw my OCs or fanart, but really mostly my OCs bc I love them sm grrr

If y'all are curious about my fandoms and interests (pls ask me about them) here's a list under the cut!

Music Artists and Bands:

Powerwolf (My #1 favorite band!!11!!1)

Evanescence

Hollywood Undead

Avril Lavigne

Linkin Park

Limp Bizkit

Korn

System of a Down

Alestorm (we love some good pirate metal)

MARINA and the Diamonds (the contrast lmaooo)

2000-10s songs bc I love nostalgia

Fandoms:

Kingdom Hearts (HELL YEAHHHH!!!11!!111!1)

Warrior Cats (The community is so dramatic for no reasons tho-)

Saint Seiya/Knights of the Zodiac (The fandom is dead bc only ppl over 40yo know about this)

Final Fantasy 7

Five Nights at Freddy's

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Sonic the Hedgehog

My Little Pony (Old Brony right there lol)

Black Butler (The community when you have headcanons and opinions they will shoot you dead)

Twisted Wonderland (I'm not in the fandom I just like the thing)

Cuphead (Same as for Twisted Wonderland)

.... Am I allowed to talk about Camp Buddy and Jock Studio? xd

World of Warcraft

Camp Camp

Beastars

Misc.

Animals! Mostly Hyenas!! I love Hyenas!!!11!!

Fantasy/Medieval/Celtic stuff (DND, LOTR, The Hobbit, etc...)

Pirate stuff

Nu-metal/Powermetal/Celticmetal

Electro swing

Other cultures's history (such as religions, traditions, etc...)

Horror stuff (Horror movies, analog horror, gore, etc...)

Crystals/Gemstones (idk i just think its pretty)

Mystical creatures

Scene/emo/punk/y2k/goth/metal/2000s/retro/cyber core stuff :>

I am not a furry btw

[crow-mortis]

༶•┈┈⛧┈ꉓꋪꂦꅏ

⛧°。ᵗʰⁱʳᵗʸ⁻ᵒⁿᵉ ⛧ ⁿᵒⁿᵇⁱⁿᵃʳʸ ⛧ ᵖᵃⁿ ⛧ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵖʰᵒᵗᵒᵍʳᵃᵖʰᵉʳ 。 °⛧

ⁿᵉᵒᶜⁱᵗⁱᵉˢ ⛧ ᵏᵒᶠⁱ ⛧ ᵗʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵍᵒᵒᵈʳᵉᵃᵈˢ ⛧ ˢᵖᵃᶜᵉʰᵉʸ

⛧°。┊about/dni

Not everyone has all of their info in their "About Me" so I figured I'd provide this list for anyone checking out my profile. DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE:

⛧ under 18

⛧ racist

⛧ lgbtqia+phobic *including transmeds, exclusionists, terfs and illegitmate sexualities/pronouns - i.e. MAP nor/mal, etc. (if they're meant to mock someone, i don't fw you)

⛧ pro-birth/pro life

⛧ xenophobic/islamophobic

⛧ sexist/misogynistic

⛧ pedophilic/MAP

⛧ ableist

⛧ anti-vax/anti-medicine

⛧ I also don't fw animal abuse, MAGA, blue lives matter, or general bigots.

I can/will add to this if I think of/run across more.

more under the cut !

This is the hardest thing for me to do on any social media website. I'm horrible at talking about myself unless it's in relation to one of my interests. Which, I'll briefly list below:

⛧ music

⛧ video games

⛧ creepy stuff/cryptids/ARGs

⛧ gardening/homesteading

⛧ crows

⛧ oddities/"vulturecore"

⛧ writing

⛧ photography

⛧ reading

I'm sure I have more I'll end up adding here eventually, but I can't ever think of many things I like right off the top of my head.

Call me Crow. I'm 31 y/o, nonbinary, pansexual, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm married and we have two dogs, one cat, a parrot, and twenty-four chickens (I post about all of them a lot so you'll probably get to know them well if you follow my blog.) We live on a 2 acre homestead in southern Appalachia. I practice conjure and rootwork that was taught to me by family and neighbors growing up. I love to forage and make my own herbal salves and tinctures, as well as canned items like preserves and jellies. My partner and I are also professional portrait and event photographers, and I love posting our work whenever I get the chance.

My favorite band is Coheed and Cambria, with Sleep Token and Ghost following closely behind. I'm an old school emo kid, and I also listen to a lot of pop-punk, numetal, and post-hardcore. I also dive into j-rock and SOME Appalachian gothic, neotraditional country, bluegrass, and folk music. My tastes are a little all over the place and if it sounds good I'll probably like it.

I am a gamer, and my favorite game is a tie between Bloodborne, Baldur’s Gate 3 and RDR2. I have also been playing Destiny 2 since the launch of Destiny 1 in 2014, and I fall in and out of love with it every few weeks. Depends on what the content is giving me at that time. I also really like Minecraft and other comfy games like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. I'm a huge fan of horror games and I especially love the ones with deep and interesting lore and worldbuilding.

I'm a writer, and have been actively doing so since I was 11 years old. I haven't published anything, as it's more of a hobby for me than anything (plus imposter syndrome sucks). I have a world building project/RP that I've had going with a friend of mine for almost a decade now. I love thinking of/writing new characters and short stories. I used to write fanfiction but I'm not consistent enough to post multiple-part fics anymore, and my schedule doesn't leave much time for that sort of devotion. So, for now, it's just a hobby I get to enjoy with a few select friends.

I'm really into creepy content. Cryptids, cosmic horror, ARGs, analog horror, and the occult. I've seen a lot of what there is to offer on YouTube, so I'm always open to suggestions on stuff that I may not have heard of. I also like to collect bones, antlers, and other oddities.

I'm a big reader, and I'm currently doing a 52 week book challenge for 2024. I usually read 2-3 books at a time for when my ADD says I need something different.

I am also autistic and was diagnosed as an adult (age 27). I also have relapsing/remitting MS; it affects my short term memory, vision, and balance, primarily. I also sometimes have some other cognitive issues (forgetting/flubbing words, names, etc.) I am on treatment for a few of the symptoms, but it does impact my daily life.

I think that's about it. Sorry for the wall of text, but I really don't know how else to format this.

⛧°。 ┊ my stuff.

links here !

⛧°。┊ other links.

links here !

[sinceileftyoublog]

Augustus Muller Interview: Synth Stories

Photo by Jimmy Fontaine

BY JORDAN MAINZER

For Augustus Muller of Massachusetts-via-Georgia electropop duo Boy Harsher, feeling the pressure gets results. Not for the duo's studio albums, mind you, but for the impressive number of film scores that he and Boy Harsher have been releasing the past few years. "Soundtracks are cool because you have 2-3 weeks to write them. You have to be prolific in that amount of time," he told me over the phone last month. "A record is going to take a couple years to finish, for the same amount of music...you don't have a lot of time to make a mistake." Looking at Muller's history as a creative, from his early days to his recently released scores for Cellulosed Bodies and My Animal, his spontaneous mindset has paid off.

Before he made music, Muller was an aspiring filmmaker, creating short films as a teenager, and attending film school. As he started making music for his own films, he realized her liked that part, too, and his career shifted. Of course, his project with film school classmate, vocalist Jae Matthews, took off, starting as Teen Dreamz and eventually becoming Boy Harsher, as the combination of her spoken word and his beats became more dance-oriented. Films were on the backburner, and it wasn't until 2020, when he teamed up with progressive adult film producer collective Four Chambers, headed by experimental pornographer Vex Ashley, that Muller released his score debut. Machine Learning Experiments (Original Score), comprised of distinct scores to two films (Orgone Theory, tracks 1-5, and Hydra, tracks 6-10), was released via the band's imprint Nude Club Records. In combination with the film's subject matter and Boy Harsher's usual minimal synth wave, the music fittingly sounded like a sort of dystopian cousin to the works the late Patrick Cowley made for John Coletti in the 80's. And early last year, the band released The Runner, which started as a piece of music but sounded to them so suited for the screen that they simply directed an accompanying short horror film.

Now, Muller has given us two more scores. Cellulosed Bodies is another collaboration with Ashley, structured similarly to Machine Learning Experiments in that it features two scores for two films, Crash and Automaton. What makes Cellulosed Bodies a standout in Muller's oeuvre is that the two scores that make it up simultaneously provide a cohesive whole and exercises in textural contrast. Both films deal with the relationships between bodies and machines, the former an homage to David Cronenberg's erotic body horror film of the same name, the latter exploring pandemic-influenced digital isolation and dependency. Crash uses all analog instrumentation, sounding appropriately tactile on the pulsating synthesizers of "Fur And Metal" the crispy, synaptic drum machines of "Perverse Technology", and the booming bass of "Shattered Glass". Automaton, on the other hand, doesn't abide by as many patterns, using more FM synths for its droning vignettes and metallic harmonics, notably oblique strings and organ synthesis on "Observation" and "Who Is In Control" and vocal samples on "Subdue Yourself". But whether taking a more traditional or contemporary approach, Muller exudes the same visceral quality from his compositions.

On Friday, Muller released his score for Jacqueline Castel's My Animal, which, like Crash, uses mostly hardware but has the same abstractly filmic quality as The Runner. If you didn't know it was a film score, you'd think it was just a standalone piece of instrumental 80s synthwave, as effective in the club as it is soundtracking horror romance. "Sanctuary" borders on stadium rock, layered with drum fills and arpeggios, while the combination of wincing synthesizer and shuffling beats propels tracks like "Transformation #1", "The Slots", "Outside the Rock", and "Something's Building". More simply, many of the record's tracks are heavy on vibes, with the music evoking exactly what the titles suggest: "A Soft Howl", or "Winter Drone". At this point, Muller and Boy Harsher have amassed a solid following for their studio albums, but all signs point to Muller--still an aspiring filmmaker, after all--becoming an in-demand name for helping filmmakers bring their corporeal visions to life.

Below, read my conversation with Muller, edited for length and clarity.

Photo by Jimmy Fontaine

Since I Left You: Describe the process of working on Cellulosed Bodies with Vex Ashley. Was the music made in tandem with the visuals or in response to them?

Augustus Muller: She'd send me a rough cut of what she was working on, and I'd write something to that. It was pretty loose. She cut around stuff. I would send something back, she'd send me notes, and edit around what I'd written. Then she'd send another cut, and we'd work on transitions and put finishing touches on it.

SILY: What's unique about this soundtrack as compared to others you've done?

AM: Compared to writing a feature film, there's a lot more space for music. Crash has no dialogue at all. With porn, the music can lead. I felt like I had full freedom with that. I could write a full track. With other scores, for narrative, you have to hide it under dialogue, so it's a different sound palette.

SILY: Are you often given the whole film without the score, and then you work around it?

AM: Yeah. For Crash and Automaton, there wasn't even temp music. I started from scratch.

SILY: Why did you decide to release "Fur And Metal" and "Stretching / Invading" as the first tastes of Cellulosed Bodies?

AM: For this project, it's been difficult to explain to our fans and the world what it is. It's my solo music, but not an album, but an original score to porn films. People are blasting through social media, not really reading through the fine print. "Fur And Metal" was one of my favorite tracks from Crash, and I thought it was important to share something from Automaton, which is what "Stretching / Invading" is from. It's more of an ambient, droney track. It's good to show the range the album has.

SILY: It emphasizes the distinct textures and qualities of the scores, too. You used strings and organs on the latter.

AM: Yeah. It's two pretty different sounding scores. Similar subject matter--a techno dystopian future--but Crash was all analog gear and vintage hardware. It has that older sound. Automaton is a lot of FM synths to get these new sounds.

SILY: The final track, "Subdue Yourself", has vocal samples [from dominatrix Miss Marilyn]. Why did you choose to introduce voice at the very end?

AM: That track is not in the film. It's something I wrote and ultimately didn't use, but it's a song I really liked. I love Miss Marilyn's monologues, so I thought it was a cool thing to include in the soundtrack. Giving it context, like when original scores and soundtracks have clips from the movie in it.

SILY: Do you think this score holds up separately as its own piece of art? Can it be consumed and appreciated separately from the film?

AM: I think it really varies soundtrack to soundtrack. This one can definitely stand by itself. I'm really proud of the tracks. I think it's listenable. I was just listening to Vangelis' Blade Runner [soundtrack]. I had never actually listened to the LP before even though I've seen the movie a million times. There are a lot of instrumental tracks that must be so low in the mix in the film that when listening to the LP, it felt like I'd never heard them before. They're banging tracks!

SILY: Crash is a direct homage to Cronenberg's film of the same name. Have you ever called out an influence that directly in your music before, whether with Boy Harsher or your solo work?

AM: On tour, we're playing a "Wicked Game" cover. [laughs] But in terms of the Crash score, I watched [Cronenberg's film] and wanted to get Howard Shore's soundtrack channeled through me. I then realized, "I can't do this. Howard Shore's a genius. This is not my style." I just started playing some driving bass and went a totally new direction.

SILY: When I listened to your score for My Animal, I thought it was pretty banging itself. There are a lot of catchy tracks on there, like "Sanctuary" and "The Slots". These could be singles.

AM: I was writing with a lot of temp music. [Jacqueline Castel] was putting Boy Harsher songs in it as temp music. So I was channeling drum-driven material.

SILY: Do you think Boy Harsher songs work well within a film context?

AM: I think so. We've had some stuff licensed for films and TV shows. When I'm writing something, I know it's good when it feels visual, when it's evoking some imagery or takes me some place.

SILY: I feel like certain general aesthetics seem to fit films very well. What are some of your favorite film soundtracks or creative influences when making a soundtrack?

AM: Recently, that Jonathan Glazer movie Birth. Alexandre Desplat does that really tight chamber music. I like it because it's the opposite of what the scene is showing. It really changes the mood. That was really inspiring for me, to show what music can do for a film, to take a scene and transport it into a totally different vibe.

Abraham Marder and Nicolas Becker's [work on Sound of Metal]. I have to shout out Tangerine Dream's Sorcerer. That's such a powerful tool in the film. It really elevates all the emotions, but it's also an album I can listen to on its own.

SILY: Have you ever thought about curating a film's soundtrack, picking songs from other artists?

AM: Like Trent Reznor for Lost Highway? Yeah, I think I could do that.

SILY: It seems like you have that ear as a film and music fan.

AM: I just love putting music to visuals. That's how I got into music, making shitty short films as an 18-year-old. I was like, "Wow! This film got so much better with this music behind it." That's why I kept making music before making it on its own.

SILY: Are you going to make films again?

AM: I want to so bad. But it's such a privilege, and you need so much money. It's something I've been working towards for a while. I just need to find that opportunity for someone to trust me for a big chunk of change.

SILY: You could make the film and the music.

AM: That's what I dream about every day. Make the film, edit it, write the score.

SILY: Anything you've been listening to, watching, or reading that's caught your attention?

AM: I just saw Bottoms. It's really funny. A feel-good movie. I've been watching a lot of [Rainer Werner Fassbinder]. Somebody gave me a book on him, and I realized I hadn't watched a lot of his films. I watched Querelle, which was definitely a vibe. The Marriage of Maria Braun was really cool. I love genre films that are an allegory for something else. It's been fun digging into his movies.

[orbmanson7]

Why the Human Memory is a lot like Generation Loss

Note: I wrote this because I’m quite excited for Ranboo’s upcoming analog horror project known as Generation Loss. The process of generation loss on analog media is very intriguing to me, but it also reminded me of how the human brain works when retrieving memories. The connection created a very interesting scenario for the potential of analog horror that may be on display in Ranboo’s project, so I wanted to talk about that connection here.

I’ve provided a few links for articles and videos throughout this post that contain related information if you would like to research any of this further on your own.

--

If you were to attend a concert put on by your favorite band, how likely do you think it’d be for you to remember it in great detail the next day? Or maybe a week later? What about six months later? Or even ten years later?

The human mind is capable of many things, but its ability to store and recall past experiences, especially as time goes on, can sometimes be a little inaccurate.

If you were to have taken out a camcorder and recorded that concert, it’s likely that your memory of the event may heavily differ from what can be seen on the recording ten or more years later. The reason for this has a lot to do with how we take in information, how we store that information, and how we recall it later on.

Interestingly, if you were to watch the recording of that concert, the recording would be the same, no matter how many times you watched it. But if you were to remember the concert from your memory, that “recording” in your mind would be different every time.

But why is that?

We tend to imagine that retrieving a memory is similar to going back and watching a movie we’ve enjoyed before, let’s say one we might have on DVD. The characters and the story are the same and every part we remember will be there. Then, once we’re done watching it, we return the DVD back where it was, ready to be watched again another day.

The problem is—this is far from the truth on how memory works. Research has shown that memories are in a state of constant change. [1] In fact, every time we recall a memory, it is completely changed from that point on.

So, if we were to return to the example of using a camcorder to record the concert, the way that a video recording typically works, we can rewatch the exact same footage over and over again without any changes to the events on the screen.

However, if the recording functioned more like our actual memory does, every time we watched the recording, it would be more like setting it to play and then recording that same footage over the same tape. With each new recording, the quality would lower and distortions may appear.

This is something that actually can occur in analog and sometimes digital media, it’s a phenomenon known as generation loss. If you change and alter digital media every time you retrieve it to create another copy, each subsequent copy will have lower quality and chances of distortions. It would change every time you retrieve it.

Thankfully, technology has improved so that generation loss isn’t very common anymore [2], but the truth is—that’s still how the human brain does it.

In our minds, we can usually recall a memory willfully (like remembering a funny story from your life while chatting with a friend), but sometimes we recall a memory by accident, via association (like hearing a song on the radio that cues you to remember an event from years ago that you haven’t thought about in a long time) or intrusive mental imagery (like when dissociating with trauma or PTSD). Regardless of how we recall a memory, we will still change it, effectively recording new information over the last version.

Errors in recall, such as forgetting a detail or misremembering a key piece of information, can completely change every new copy of that memory in the future. For example, if you previously remembered that you wore a yellow shirt to the concert, but then misremembered upon thinking about it later and believing you wore a green shirt instead, the next time you recall that memory, you are more likely to believe you had actually worn a green shirt. Every time after that, you may recall wearing a green shirt, or not remember such a detail at all, as other pieces of information may fade or change.

In addition, many different factors can change a memory over time.

Before it’s recalled, you could hear others’ perspectives on the same event, which could completely change how you then remember it from your own perspective. Upon recall, you may have biases or inferences that could change how you perceived something, leading you to believe something that may not have happened. How you felt about the event as it was happening could be changed by the emotion you felt when remembering it. And in situations like traumatic events, people tend to remember events much worse than they may have experienced through what is called “memory amplification” where they may re-experience the traumatic event while remembering it, adding new emotions or information from more recent events or their imagination, changing that memory for any time it may be recalled in the future. [3,4]

These are all memory distortions, changes that often occur simply by remembering a memory.

While not quite the same, generation loss can also have distortions that appear when copies are made. Often this is due to outside interference, like loose wiring or bad connectivity, which lowers the quality for any future copies as each subsequent copy will have that interference added permanently.

With each copy or conversion, generation loss causes the quality to drop in such a way that details can fade and colors can shift or disappear entirely. Much like our memory of an event, many details can fade and disappear over time, as well.

So, returning again to our example of the recording of the concert, if the recording worked the way our memory did, every time we watched the recording, we would create a new copy. The changes made to each copy wouldn’t be too obvious with the first or second copy, but as we reach the fifth or sixth, a lot of details like the sound quality or the correct colors may be altered and changed by a lot. By the tenth or eleventh copy, it’s likely you wouldn’t be able to see much of anything on the screen anymore, and the audio may be nothing like you remembered, if you can hear it at all. If you were to continue making more and more copies, the recording would eventually fade entirely until there is nothing left.

If you’ve ever witnessed video examples of analog generation loss [5], then you know they can be somewhat spooky as the quality continues to drop, becoming nothing like the original sample video.

The same might be said for our own memories.

Now, some memories we can remember with clarity for a long time, but they, too, are still altered and changed every time we remember them. And the more we remember, the more changes are made.

But, much like with analog and digital copies that can be made of all types of media, just because interferences can happen doesn’t mean they always do. If you line things up just right, adjust your equipment in just the right way, you can create a near-perfect digital copy.

But with our minds, it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to perfectly replicate our original emotions, thoughts, and any outside factors every time we recall a memory. Our minds take in so much information all the time, even when we aren’t aware of it, and that information can influence our memories in ways we may not realize. So, there will always be changes made in those memories, there will always be a chance for mistakes, even if we don’t always notice them right away.

And that is why our human memory is a lot like generation loss.

(Let's hope Ranboo uses this knowledge to his advantage.)

[angrylizardjacket]

mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 3

3. i thought love was a kind of emptiness

Summary: So you’re in love with him. Not great. And you wanna tell your brother about it, but that means coming clean about everything, and you’re not gonna do that! So you’re just gonna suffer, because it’s for the greater good. And you’re not gonna make things weird. Speaking of weird though, how is this even going to end? Colson sounds kind of like a masochist when he talks about it, but there must be a way to make neither of you seem like the bad guy... When this all ends. Which it will, much to your chagrin.

A/N: watch me have no idea about american geography

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @kellysimagines @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit

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For the record, and if anyone asks, when Colson sends you a photo of himself in full Tommy Lee makeup, your heart definitely doesn’t skip a beat. The long wig, the sharp contouring, the eyeliner, it does absolutely nothing for you. You definitely don’t spend a good five minutes contemplating how much you want his lipstick to stain your mouth. Because he’s not your real boyfriend. You’re doing this to minimize the amount of nasty messages you get online. The fact that he’s hot and funny and surprisingly kind and weirdly observant, and god, have you already said hot? Because he tends to walk around your shared hotel room in shorts and little else and it’s really not doing great things for your productivity. 

The point is, all those things are a bonus! A happy little accident, if you will, a positive side-effect of this whole arrangement. Like getting a job and realising that you’ll be working with your brother, who currently is quickly becoming very, very close with your fake boyfriend.

There’s no-one you trust more in the whole world than Douglas, but if you tell him that your relationship is fake, you’ll have to tell him why you’re in a fake relationship, and he’s not above starting an online rampage against people sending his little sister death threats. Which, by the way, you’re not getting a lot of since dating Colson, honestly you might even be getting less than before, so it’s working.

Your absolutely fake relationship with Colson Baker, whom you have no feelings for whatsoever is functioning exactly as intended. 

Except for the fact that when you’re on set, and you see him in costume, smiling, it kind of makes your day. Watching him play drums? He just looks like he’s having so much fun, and you can’t help but be endeared by it! This was outlined as low commitment, high reward, and now your feelings are ruining it for everybody. Well, just for you. Because it’s just a small crush, and he’s your friend, so you’re not going to make it weird.

Which, right now, it isn’t. He hogs the blankets, which you pretend you’re annoyed by, and sets about fifteen different alarms for himself that have you waking up at the crack of dawn so that he can go in early to get his tattoos covered, even though you don’t need to be there until much later than he is. So you grumble into the blankets, and when you get to set there’s always a hot drink waiting for you. 

He’s out most nights, not late enough that he’d need to oversleep to be functioning the next morning, but it’s not uncommon for you to be curled up on your side of the bed, usually scrolling through social media, and he’ll come in, sometimes humming something, sometimes chattering away on the phone. Sometimes he’ll shower, but he always smokes, watching the stars, right before he comes to bed.

Or you’ll join him. 

On the weekends, you’ll grab dinner together after filming, and he’s in his eyeliner, the foundation sometimes a little worse for wear, and you’ll explore the nightlife that LA has to offer, seeing live bands, or going to clubs. Of course, as a famous musician, DJs will pull Colson up into their booth, to play a song or two, and you, without fail, always managed to feel out of place. So you hang back, maybe have a dance, or maybe get a drink, or even just people-watch. You enjoy it, but you enjoy going back to the hotel more.

Tabloids, or the modern equivalent at least, get familiar with your name, and it’s not long before your image starts to change.

About six minutes into a twenty minute ‘tea spilling’ video, the host says your name.

“Now, [Y/N] Booth, DuckDuckBooth, whatever you know her as, has been all over the mainstream media lately because - shock horror - she’s in a relationship with someone with a bad reputation! Because that’s what we love here, ladies and gents; rumours and slander,” the host, a young woman with bleach blonde hair and a thick English accent rolls her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her tongue, “so a bit of a run-down for those who don’t know, [Y/N] is a lifestyle and, I don’t know, entertainment industry insider - YouTuber? She makes videos on what it’s like to work all different jobs in the industry. And her brother’s famous? I think?” She looks to a point off-screen, presumably where her laptop was sitting, letting her look him up. “He was in Jupiter Ascending, he was the weird prince-dude; Douglas Booth, and he was in a bunch of stuff that was only really released in the UK.” 

It cuts to a new shot of the host tucking her hair behind her ears.

“So [Y/N] recently started dating Machine- MG- uh, I don’t know how to say it, it sounds wrong coming from me; Machine Gun Kelly? He’s a rapper I think? He’s been in a few shows on like, streaming services? I don’t know, I don’t know him that well, but apparently he’s one for scandal - allegedly.” She emphasises, before taking a deep breath, “and now he and [Y/N] are working on the same project, and have started dating, like two adults who like each other might start doing!” It’s condescending, as if directly responding to some less than polite criticisms she’s seen online, but she shrugs it off flippantly.

“Anyways, I’ve been following [Y/N] for a while, I’ve seen her recent uploads and Instagram stories and such; they’re cute, okay? I don’t personally enjoy his music, but that’s just my tastes, you know? And I don’t understand all the negativity she’s suddenly receiving; you all know she’s an adult, right? Like not just in the UK, she’s over 21, she’s allowed to go out and drink, and be a human being. It’s not like she’s suddenly become a different person; just because she’s not acting in the way your overly-sanitized view of her should, doesn’t mean she’s a different person, or that she’s corrupted or whatever. She’s not a bad person for enjoying herself.”

“Everyone speculating about whether it’s fake or not, like they have nothing in common, well it’s almost like you don’t know them personally; if it’s fake, who even cares, that’s -” she laughs a little, “that’s Hollywood, isn’t it? I think the people hating on her, or on him, or wanting them to admit it’s fake or just break up, are jealous, honestly, because even if it’s fake, it’s a hell of a commitment.”

“Do you ever worry?” You can’t help but ask, it’s late, much later than you know you should be up, but he’s awake too, yawning, looking at his phone. Both of you tucked up in bed, he takes a moment before looking at you. There’s something about the shadow of eyeliner he hadn’t quite been able to remove that just makes him look edgy and gorgeous.

“I try not to,” he answers candidly, “but about what?”

“About people finding out about us.”

“Usually,” he cracks a half smile, “when a girl asks me that, it’s about people finding out that we are together,” and he’s smiling, but you just frown in the dark, unable to appreciate the humour. 

“What’ll they say? Of course you’ll be fine, but I-” you swallow, shaking your head, “sorry, asshole thing to say; of course I care about what they say about you, just as much me, but -”

“But you’ve got a lot further to fall than I do,” he says with a surprising honesty, and you meet his gaze in the glow of his screen light, “honestly I have no idea how this is gonna end, I thought you did.” And you feel your stomach drop. 

How were you supposed to respond to this?! There is absolutely no way you can say what you’re thinking, that you don’t want this to end because you’ve started to catch real feelings. 

“I’m winging it,” you admit softly. Something about his expression softens, but his screen goes dark before you can see it, “I know you’re a good person but-”

“Then you don’t know me that well, Ducky,” he laughs a little, though the sound is hollow, and you can hear him rustling around as he looks up at the ceiling in the dark, “kid, you don’t know me at all -”

“Don’t call me kid,” you bristle, quietly defiant, but he just seems to ignore you.

“I know I’m a bad dude, okay? And if you want this whole thing to end with everyone thinking I’ve broken your heart, then do it, I’ve been through worse. I’ve done worse; if you wanna just worry about yourself, you can.” 

“So it’s black and white; I’m red riding hood and you’re the big bad wolf? That’s how we end this?”

“You think in fairy tale analogies,” he huffs an almost disbelieving laugh, “I’m just saying that if you didn’t have to be with me, you wouldn’t be; you wanted scandalous but not a scandal, I get it, okay? I’m good at that; good at both, actually, but I guess you’re cute enough that you can pick one and not the other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snap, feeling angry, almost betrayed by his callous words. In the dark, you can make out the shape of his silhouette against the stars.

“You’re all clean and shiny and shit, you’ve got a philanthropist big brother, and a life in the entertainment industry without the actual pressure of being an actor, and yeah, YouTube is hard, I get that, now more than anything else, watching you ‘s definitely given me a new appreciation for the effort that goes in, but -”

“But what? It’s not a real job?”

That shuts him up fast. 

Fuming in the dark, you clamber from the bed, and head onto the balcony, slamming the door behind you. The night air is cool and crisp against the warm anger bubbling just beneath your skin, and you take a few deep breaths. Why you’re out here, you’re not sure; you should have gone down the hall and stayed with Douglas, but here you were, cooling off on the balcony. 

You’re in his seat, the seat he always sits in to smoke before bed, and it feels strange, but you’re not going to give up the seat, even as he opens the door. He doesn’t look at you, instead, he leans against the railing, looking out at the ocean glittering with stars.

“I wasn’t -” he starts, before sighing, “fuck, I know it’s a real job, okay?”

But he’s met with silence.

“I was gonna say - fuck, there’s like, a quote thing someone once told me, I think it was Shakespeare or some shit - there’s more things in Heaven and Earth, you know, than are dreamed in your philosophy.” He paused, “I’m dealing with more than just your shit, you know? Every fuckin’ person wants to hate me right now; your shit is small fish, Ducky. If you’re not getting hate, then it’s worth it, okay? And after all of this, I’ll still be averaging the same amount of hate as I always get, not that I give a shit. It’s pebble in a stream stuff.” When again, he’s met with silence, he sighs gently, hanging his head, before heading back inside, though he doesn’t close the door.

On your own, for only a moment, you feel your insides twisting, frustrated at overreacting, heart warming at his words, just a little. 

“Pebble in a stream stuff?” You ask quietly, when he joins you once more, this time with a joint and his lighter.

“Immutable,” he says, voice flat as he focuses on lighting up, before taking a long drag. After a moment of holding the smoke in his lungs, he breathes out, watching it as he speaks, “like a river, if you throw a pebble in, it creates a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do, the river just keeps flowing in the same direction.” 

“Deep,” you muse.

“It’s from X-Men,” he responded, and there’s a beat, before the two of you break out into laughter at the absurdity of it all, of his philosophical ramblings being ripped from a comic book movie, of the idea of the two of you ever getting into this situation in the first place.

When the laughter dies down, you find yourself smiling at him, watching him while his grin is turned up to the stars.

“You say I don’t know you, even though we’ve been doing this for almost a month and a half now; I wanna know you,” you tell him as genuinely as you can manage in your tired state, and he turns to you with an unreadable expression, and you catch yourself before you act on the fluttering in your chest, “to make it more believable.” You add, and he nods, and his gaze goes back to the sky; if it was a little disappointed, you try not to think about it too hard, “so you don’t like cutesy dates like fairs, what do you like?”

Licking his lips as he thinks, he finally turns to you, eyebrow raised.

“Honestly?”

Why does his gaze right now make your pulse race?

“Honestly.” You dare not break his gaze.

“I like going to clubs with you, to see bands and shit,” he tells you, and... oh, you weren’t expecting that. There’s that soft, unreadable expression again, though he seems endeared by your genuine surprise, “but I sometimes get the feeling that you feel, uh, out of place?” He seems concerned.

“I mean, not really, it’s fun and all!” You try, but he gives a smirk.

“You don’t have to sugar coat it -”

“It’s sticky, and it feels weird with all the dudes trying to grind up on me when I’m like, meant to be with you. I always feel like someone’s about to pull out their phone, snap a photo and accuse me of cheating.” You blurt out, and Colson’s expression turned from surprised to amused.

“Stick with me then -”

“I don’t wanna be a bother; I’m not a music person, I shouldn’t be in like, a DJ booth I don’t think.”

“You’re with me, you can go wherever you want.”

The night is cool and crisp, and he’s got an early start, but the two of you sit out there, talking, laughing, actually getting to know each other. He tells you all about Cassie, about how proud he is of her, how much he misses her, and how proud she is of him in turn. You, in turn, tell him stories of yourself and Douglas from your childhood, of how he’d always been your biggest fan, and your first defender, and how you’d been to all of his premieres. At this, Colson’s eyes glaze over a little, lost in thought.

“I have no idea how this is gonna end,” he says gently, before looking to you, “but whenever you wanna call it quits, say the word.”

But you hear I’m read to cut and run at any moment, and you know it’s selfish, but it’s not what you want to hear.

“Thanks,” you respond, with a small smile instead, “same to you; don’t just stick around for my benefit,” you try to laugh, but it doesn’t quite come out right. It’s quiet after that, though it had to be said, and it’s not long before the two of you go to bed.

It’s a turning point, it’s where you start to really try to get to know each other, rather than just being around each other. Maybe it’s just hope, but it feels a little more real with each day that passes.

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve got a very special guest! And if you’ve read the title of this video, you know who it is! That’s right, my boyfriend is going to try and teach me the basics of drumming!”

The comments of the video tell you that you both look so happy, look so cute, look so in love.

“You’re a good actor,” Colson tells you, as if he believes the starry-eyed looks you give him are a carefully calculated ruse. You, on the other hand, feel like a fool only moments from being outed as being in love with your fake boyfriend, which was ridiculous; he’s the only person who needs to believe it’s a ruse after all.

Even Douglas tells you the video is good, and suddenly you’re starting to feel like an asshole for lying to him for so long.

But it’ll work out. It has to. And neither you nor Colson is gonna be the bad guy. Because he’s not, no matter what he says .

He keeps buying you hot drinks if his alarms wake you up, and he keeps you close whenever you go out, and he gives you a blanket whenever you fall asleep in his trailer during breaks, and -

“Has Duck ever told you about how she found a frog when we were little, like a live frog,” Douglas was grinning over lunch, while you were slowly becoming more embarrassed by Colson's side, your forehead pressed to his shoulder as your brother recounted one of his favourite stories, “and she named it after me, because she was always a bit of a menace, but it got free, and mum and dad almost lost their minds when she came crying about how ‘Doug was missing in the woods!’” He grinned, both fond and a bit sharp, “they only realised she was talking about the frog when I joined the search party after getting home from a friend’s house.”

You heave a sigh, but Colson gives you a gentle, reassuring pat.

“No, that’s fuckin’ adorable, but no she hadn’t told me that; but I had heard about how you made the both of you duck costumes for your school’s Halloween,” and Colson gives him a toothy grin as Douglas flushes with embarrassment, though he seems endeared by the nostalgia of it all, “primary school, was it?”

“Not Halloween, it was a book fair,” Douglas corrected, and you surfaced finally, leaning into Colson, who wrapped an arm around you, and you level a soft smile at your brother, who returns one in kind, before his gaze flicks to Colson’s, and back. A smile. A nod. A silent approval. Fuck, you hate lying to him.

But you’re not above a little white lie to the internet for some advice.

r/AmITheAsshole posted by u/idkquackythrowaway

AITA for falling for my fake boyfriend and lying to my best friend about it?

So hello, throw away account because if either of them find this, I’ll be mortified and have to run away to canada and live as a goat farmer.

So I started ““““dating”“““ my “”””boyfriend””””, let’s call him C, a few months ago, because all of our friends kept accusing us of dating, and it was easier to just go along with it than deny it - there’s a lot of extenuating circumstances here; and yes I have issues lying to my friends, but I can deal with it for the greater good. It’s better for C and me in the short-term anyways.

Anyways so my best friend, D, is someone I’ve never lied to, we’ve always been so incredibly close, but now he’s getting to be good friends with C too, and approves of the two of us, but I’m just worried he’ll be betrayed if I tell him it wasn’t real.

Also, I might have real feelings for C, which he Does Not Have for me, so I feel like I’m betraying him too, by pretending that it’s not fake. ANd I wanna tell D about this, but then I’d have to come clean about everything, which....... its a lot. 

So Am I The Asshole for catching feelings in a fake relationship, and lying to my closest friend about it?

[324 comments]

The reaction is mixed.

And mostly unhelpful.

A lot of people are calling you the asshole, which, ouch, but you had kind of already come to terms with that. A lot more people, however, are just abstaining from making judgement, considering there was definitely more to the story. You’re not sure how to deal with those comments; you want to defend yourself, or give more context, but you also know you absolutely cannot. 

Eventually you decide to come clean.

“I’m in love with Colson.”

About the wrong thing. To the wrong person.

Douglas blinks slowly at you, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

“Really?”

“Really really.” You sigh, with an air of defeat, though this has him frowning, putting his fork full of pasta down. 

“What’s wrong, did he do something?” Douglas is playing the protective older brother, just as he has done for as long as you can remember, but it’s all you can do to shake your head.

In truth, Colson’s been fucking perfect; despite his reputation, he’s a fantastic - fake - partner. Perhaps it’s that you work together, so he doesn’t have to find a distraction outside of his main focus. 

“Duckling,” Douglas says it so gentle, taking your hand over the dinner table, “I’m happy for you, as long as you’re happy.” And what can you say to that? Another lie? You feel like you’ll be ill if you let another lie pass your tongue in front of Douglas.

“I love him,” you say, weakly, and you feel your eyes misting at the implication, the reality of your words. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I-” you choke on your words, and tears start to gather, threatening to spill, “I think I love him more than he loves me.” It’s not a lie, but it’s enough for Douglas. 

“I’m sorry,” he sounds so genuine, holding your hand tight in his, finishing dinner, and taking you both back to the hotel. He does the only thing he can think of to cheer you up; put on a movie on his laptop and wrap you up in blankets like he would when you were kids. The movie’s a little outdated, but he’s trying, and that alone makes you feel a little better. 

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve just got a low-effort video, it’s just a top ten comfort movies from childhood that survive a modern rewatch! As decided by me and Douglas!”

Filming is set to move locations soon, from being on-location on the Sunset Strip to a back-lot about an hour away, somehow closer to the hills, and you feel like you can hear the ticking of a clock counting down.

“When filming’s over, we can end it if you want,” you tell Colson as you’re packing up your suitcases.

“Oh,” he seems surprised.

“Oh?”

“That’s soon,” is all the clarification he gives, but he doesn’t sound happy about it, “are you sure?” 

“I mean, I don’t wanna outstay my welcome,” you try to joke, but he makes a noise that you can’t quite decipher, “what?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Just thought it would maybe go until the premiere.” He admits, and you pause, actually surprised at his words, and he clears his throat, “it would be weird seeing you there if I was with someone else, right?”

“Right,” you muse quietly, before going back to folding your clothes, “that’s a year away still, I’m pretty sure.” You tell him, and he hums, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well I’ve got a few events before then I need a date for,” he says, noncommittally, “and we’ll see each other before then; if you wanna be convincing you can crash at my place if you wanna, in The Hills, at least for a bit, if you ain’t got anything else to do sort of thing,” he actually sounds a bit hesitant, and you swallow hard, before letting yourself smile, pleased.

“I think you like having me around.” When you look at him, he’s trying to hide a smile of his own.

“'course I do.”

[themusicview]

The Tumble Into the Void - Everywhere at the End of Time by The Caretaker

Perhaps the most impactful conversation I’ve ever had with my grandfather was the time I asked him about his mother’s dementia.  He confessed that he never really understood what it was like to have dementia; why his mother would constantly call for them despite knowing they were only around the corner.  That changed when, as part of his work at Sears, he took a trip to the Netherlands.  At some point in the evening, he got separated from his friends and was left alone in the busiest part of Amsterdam.  In his words, “I looked around, and it wasn’t that I didn’t know where I was, it was the realization that I never knew where I was, that I had no way of figuring out where I was, and that I was utterly helpless.”  In that moment, he understood.  

The closest I’ve come to understanding is listening to this.

Leyland James Kirby has made a career of chopping the familiar into the horrifying: from his earliest noise experiments as V/VM, his subversion of country as Billy Ray Cyrix, his perversions of Christmas music as Butcher Claus, to his more etherial projects as The Caretaker, Kirby has an interest in taking familiar and friendly sounds and perverting them into something awful.  Everywhere At the End of Time is a sonic art piece detailing the collapse of the human mind that is created due to dementia.  Over the course of the six and a half hour journey, we see memories fade, twist, and warp to the point where they are unrecognizable, before the void swallows all in the end.  However, you should know going into this that I initially bounced off this album quite a few times.  Each stage sounds similar enough to the previous one that differences are hard to determine or even notice at first.  This is an intentional feature of the album, dementia sneaks up on sufferers, but it does lead to this album being a bit of a slog to get through.  It’s best to approach this project like European art cinema; the kind of thing that is difficult to get through, but is rewarding to the patient, attentive audience.  This is not an easy listen, not by a long shot, but it is a worthy listen.  Each album functions in turn as a different stage, and each one has a different sonic characteristic, ranging from familiar to completely avant-garde.  

Stage 1 is by far the most accessible of the stages.  I’ve heard it described before as, “vaporwave for boomers” and that seems as fitting a description as any.  Both have to do with degradation and looping; the main difference being while vaporwave’s distortion is of a digital nature, Stage 1’s distortion is of a completely analog nature; surface noise, clicks, pops, the sounds of degraded 78rpm records.  The first three albums follow this template, but each one adds slightly more distortion.  Gaps get longer, surface noise becomes more pronounced.  What sounded like a peaceful campfire on stage 1 will, by stage 3, have become completely overwhelming to the music.  Samples and themes are used repeatedly, but always in a more heavily distorted fashion, leaving the listener with a sense that these tracks are familiar, but you can’t place where they came from.  The first stage represents the bliss of the beginning, the last of the good days as the album description puts it.  Stage 2 is when you realize somethings wrong, and stage 3 is when you begin to lose the battle for lucidity.  This transition happens so slowly that, unless you’re listening closely, you might not even realize that it’s happening.  This may be enough to test people who don’t regularly listen to avant-garde music, but the album saves the true horror in knowing for the second half.

Stages 4, 5, and 6 are abstract noise and drone pieces, but to explain them in those cold, clinical terms is to undersell them.  These stages are a trip into hell.  The samples come through but they are scrambled enough to be unrecognizable.  They flow, collide in odd ways, force you to confront how far you’ve fallen into the abyss.  When the grey mist rolls in, there is no more time for reflection or recollection, there is only confusion and pain.  The unfamiliar begins to feel like an old friend, and the familiar feels foreign and alien.  This is the album’s true test, as if the album is saying, “ok, we’ve had fun, but good luck with this.” Stage 4 and Stage 5 are by far the most difficult listens.  These albums activated my fight or flight response, I wanted to escape from these albums, turn them off, go literally anywhere else.  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet.  I actually bounced off these albums the first time through, but forcing yourself to listen carefully and pay attention to the details is incredibly rewarding.  By contrast, stage 6 comes as a relief, despite being labeled without description.  But, perhaps, relief is too strong a word, it’s more the final calm before the end comes.  We are in the belly of the beast when stage 6 begins.  It is peaceful, in a way; not the peace that comes with drifting off to sleep, but the peace in realizing that you can’t prevent the inevitable, no matter how terrible it may be.  The peace in dying from cancer, knowing and accepting that your life is coming to an end, but still being scared of what is to come, even if what is already here hurts.  The last five minutes of stage 6 utterly broke me.  It’s one of three times I’ve teared up listening to music (the other times being listening to Blackstar after Bowie’s death, and listening to American 4 for the first time.) I won’t spoil it here, it is something you must experience for yourself: your final reward for sitting through the hell that is this album.

Everywhere At the End of Time is a titanic achievement in sound.  We often say that music can give you feelings you can’t experience anywhere else, and nowhere is it more clear than in The Caretaker’s final opus.  I highly recommend it; it’s only six dollars through his band camp page, and his other albums are just as fairly priced, some even being free.  Just be warned what you’re getting into: none who encounter the emptiness emerge the same again.