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#and I also am having a lot of social anxiety so I’m not even enjoying texting friends as much as usual
monzabee · 8 months
Text
T.G.I.F – cl16
Summary: The one where writing your thesis is harder than you think, but Charles is here to help you through all of it.
Pairing: charles leclerc x reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: stress and anxiety, having to make big life decisions, alcohol consumption and a lot of it, cursing, fluff!!
Request: “Hey Bee, I hope you’re having a lush weekend🥰 I’m not sure if you’re taking requests but I can’t stop thinking about Charles Leclerc with a super down to earth gf everyone loves. But maybe she’s got some things going on and deals with it by getting really wild when she’s drunk 🤷🏼‍♀️ thank you x” + “Hi! Would you be into writing a request for Charles, where the reader is going through some difficult time in life (could be mental health struggles, something work or "big life decisions" related, up to you), and he's being very supportive and understanding, offering help as well? ❤️”
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i thought these two requests went very well together and i wanted to give it a go! if you know me then you know i’m very slow at working through my requests, but rest assured i am working on them, thank you for bearing through my slow streak with me!! and of course i had to make it about academic validation/stress because i’m not gonna lie but this master’s thing is kicking my ass and i relate to the reader very much so, lol! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
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Charles would not describe you as a high-strung person, not at all. If anything, you are one of the most down to earth people he’s ever met. He can’t even count all the times you’ve talked him down from a mental spiral, and given the position of his team this season, you’ve calmed him down from his stress many many times. So, imagine his surprise when the first thing he hears from his brother when he gets off his plane is that you are in the middle of a club in Monte Carlo, refusing to leave because you want to continue having fun. While he wouldn’t call you a homebody, Charles can admit that the two of you have spent more time at home instead of going out with your friends simply because of your shared love for quiet evenings and cosy nights in. It's not that you dislike socializing; it's just that both of you find joy in the simplicity of being together at home.
But now, as Charles rushes through the lively streets of Monte Carlo, he can't help but wonder what on earth has happened to have caused you to get so drunk. The sound of pulsating music grows louder as he approaches the entrance of the club. The bouncer gives him a sceptical look as Charles flashes his VIP pass, rushing inside with determination. The scene that unfolds before him is something out of character for you. Neon lights flash, and the beat of the music reverberates through the crowded space. People dance energetically, and laughter echoes against the walls. Charles spots you in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by a group of new friends, moving to the rhythm as if the world outside this club doesn't exist, and Arthur – who is trying to reason with you to get you to leave.
Charles pushes through the crowd, feeling a mix of confusion and amusement. He finally reaches you, gently tapping your shoulder to get your attention. When you turn around, the surprise on your face is evident.
“Charlie!" you exclaim, a wide grin on your face as you prolong the end of the nickname you’ve given him, “I thought you weren’t going to be back for another week!”
He raises an eyebrow, a bemused smile playing on his lips as you proceed to wrap your arms around his neck and continue jumping up and down at the same time. Placing his hands on your either side of your hips, he attempts to calm down your movements, “Well, I wanted to come home earlier to surprise you, but imagine my surprise when I realised my girlfriend is not home.” He can’t help himself as his eyes give you a worried look as he does his best to refrain from fussing over you, “Are you okay?”
“I'm more than okay, Charlie! I'm having the time of my life. Join us!” You giggle, swaying a little on your feet.
He sighs, shaking his head. "I appreciate the enthusiasm, but Arthur looks like he's about to give up on trying to get you to leave. What's going on?"
You glance over at your brother and then back at Charles. “He's just being a worrywart. I'm perfectly fine. Besides, I made some new friends!”
Charles raises an eyebrow. "I can see that, mon ange, but shouldn’t we go back home since it’s so late?"
You nod excitedly, as you choose to ignore his question – as if you’re trying to evade talking about what’s bothering you, he realises. “They're great! We've been dancing and laughing. You should meet them!”
Charles takes a deep breath, realizing that trying to reason with you in your current state might be a bit challenging. “Alright, let me meet your new friends, and then we can talk about heading home, okay?”
You nod eagerly, dragging him into the circle of your newfound companions. Arthur shoots Charles a grateful look as if to say, good luck. And he can feel that he’ll need it in the situation. And as always, Charles is a perfect gentleman as he meets with the group of girls, who are as drunk as you. You try your best to convince him to stay for a few songs, but he gives you a pleading look, which you cannot deny, as he wraps an arm around you, guiding you toward the exit. You protest playfully, wanting the night to continue, but he manages to convince you with a promise of a cosy night in together.
The walk back home is filled with laughter and the occasional stumble from you, but Charles keeps a steady arm around you, ensuring you don't stray too far off course. He is careful with you, of course, as he tries to navigate through the dimmed streets of Monte Carlo. He takes a deep breath of relief once the two of you make it to your shared apartment, and you immediately let yourself fall onto the couch to lean against the cushions with a contented sigh, your playful demeanour still intact. Charles retrieves a glass of water for you, handing it over with a gentle smile.
“Thanks, Charlie,” you say, taking a sip and leaning back against the couch. Charles sits beside you, his gaze softening as he looks at you.
“You're welcome,” he replies, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “Now, tell me what prompted this spontaneous night out. I thought you needed to submit the final draft for your thesis.”
The fact that your reaction is instantaneous makes Charles realise that he royally fucked up by mentioning your thesis. In hindsight, he should’ve known better to bring it up, because you have been stressing over the assignment for months. You pause mid-sip, a shadow crossing your face. Charles can almost see the weight of the unfinished thesis settling back on your shoulders. Your playful demeanor fades, replaced by a more serious expression.
“Yeah, the thesis,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “I just needed a break from it all, you know? It's been consuming me, and tonight was my way of escaping the stress for a little while.”
Charles feels a pang of guilt. He should've known better than to bring up the one thing that has been causing you so much pressure. He reaches out, gently cupping your cheek to guide your eyes back to his. “I'm sorry, mon ange. I didn't mean to remind you of that. Let's talk about it. What's been going on with the thesis? Why is it stressing you out so much?”
You sigh, leaning into his touch. “It's just... I thought I'd be further along by now. The deadline is looming, and I can't seem to get everything to come together. It's like the more I work on it, the more overwhelmed I feel.”
Charles nods in understanding, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. “You don't have to go through this alone, you know. We can figure it out together. Maybe I can help, or we can find someone who can. You don't have to carry the weight of it all by yourself.”
You look up at him, leaning into his gentle touch as you close your eyes for a second to gather your thoughts, “It’s just–” You take a frustrated breath, thinking over your words once again. “I’m supposed be able to do this, how am I supposed to do a Ph.D when I can’t even write my master’s thesis properly?”
Charles listens quietly, his gaze never leaving yours. He can sense the frustration and self-doubt in your words. Leaning in, he places a tender kiss on your forehead before speaking with a reassuring tone. “You will finish it in time,” he assures you, “and you will pass with flying colours, don’t self-sabotage now when you’re almost done with it.”
“But it’s so hard,” dragging out the words as you basically throw yourself into his arms and groan against his sweater, “I just feel like I've hit a wall, and I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Charles wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you bury your face in his sweater. He strokes your back soothingly, understanding the weight of your frustration. “I know it's hard, mon ange,” he says softly, his words a comforting melody. “But hitting a wall doesn't mean you can't break through it. And as for disappointing anyone, you're not a disappointment. You're human, and everyone faces challenges.” He takes a moment think, “And I say this as someone who has hit several walls-slash-barriers.”
An unexpected laughter comes from you, and to calm yourself you take a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of his sweater. “I just want to do well, to prove to myself and everyone else that I can handle this.”
Charles tilts your chin up, making you meet his gaze. “And you will. You're capable, smart, and resilient. This is just a temporary hurdle, not the end of the road. We'll find a way through it together.”
“Thank you for believing in me, even when I doubt myself.” You whisper, managing a small smile.
“Always, mon amour,” he replies, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Now, let’s get you to bed, you’re going to have a killer headache tomorrow.”
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ziipzeepzop-eez · 5 months
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hi! me again, i know it hasn’t been that long but i just rewatched one of my favorite anime’s, Komi can’t communicate, it’s about a girl named Shoko Komi who has extreme social anxiety or also known as social-phobia and has trouble speaking to others and making friends as well, i’m serious, anytime the girl tries to speak, she gets nervous and overwhelmed and just starts stuttering a LOT!
So! i was wondering if you could do lil something with the rottmnt boys and a reader who acts like that? you don’t have to! and don’t worry, i’m almost finished with the lil gecko’s design!
i also recommend watching the anime, it’s really good and funny!
have a nice day/night! ❤️
❝ dulcet vibes. ❞
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— ‧₊˚ 🎐✩ 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐞𝐬𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
❝l a/n !! : bro how many coincidences will we encounter ? I LITERALLY ADORE THAT ANIME SO SO MUCHHH AAAAA !!!! i binged the entire series over the course of time and finished it during the summertime last year ! such a wonderful anime. the slice of life feel to it, the equal parts humor and heartfelt, and not to mention the characters are all absolutely adorable and lovable !! especially komi. bro she's such a sweet cinnamon roll i just :(( my baby gorla :((( entire show is just *chef's kiss*
also darling this is like. YEARS late i hope u don't think i forgot abt you ?!!!! thank you soso much for your patience + i really hope you like this waaa !! also, psst. this is probably one of my favorite layouts~ the colors came together soso pretty !! ^^
ᝰ genre !! : fluff, a bit of crack, slice of life, platonic :)
ᝰ precautions !! : none, I don't think 🫡 if I am wrong however, pls pls let me know!! *smek* love y'all. hope you enjoy~
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i imagine the gentleness is which they all unanimously develop when interacting with you, developed on day one of meeting you.
they're all quite protective over you !! that much goes without saying, of course.
it started out with you becoming a close friend of april's :'))
seeing as she was the first to understand that you weren't some unreachable individual w/ some uppity "holier-than-thou" complex,
but rather, a kid. just like the rest of them. :')
she recognizes her peoplez. 😤✊🏾 probably finds a kindred spirit in you for feeling a bit like an outcast.
whereas you garner attention for your stoic, quiet demeanor and mysterious beauty, that's usually all people see you as.
some don't even see you as much of a fellow person at all. based on your aura alone — you've been described as an equal mix of cold, stuck up, unreachable, boring or flat out rude . . . as well as absolutely stunning, dark, debonair, sleek, attractive, godlike even.
whatever the case, you garnered the attention of all kinds wherever you went, whether you liked it or not.
they just ain't know you, babes. 😞
and april is all too familiar with being simultaneously judged (solely based on appearances) and ignored or pushed aside because you're different.
and homegirl don't run that way 🫡. she a real one.
i imagine she took/takes on the role of being your tadano at first !!
she was chosen as your guide to show ya around the school and upon seeing y'all's chemistry build instantly throughout said tour, you both were paired up for a project in your shared classes! ^^
at first she was a little off-put by your silence and sharp gaze, and even more so at the loud attention you were given the instant you were introduced into the classroom, but a little time is all it took :)
it quickly became apparent that that simply wasn't the case.
you had pulled out your phone, showed her a message typed out in a cinnamoroll-themed digital notepad,
" thank you for your help :')) i'm sorry i don't talk a lot! i'm just shy. thank you for being so kind to me. 💛🙏 "
yeeeaaah she knew you were a good egg.
and the rest is history!
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LEO gives me madddd najimi vibes, i'm gonna be so fr. so let's imagine that dynamic here !! as soon as y'all met, there was probably a little miscommunications at first :'] ofc april had told the guys beforehand that she was bringing you over, and he was positively stoked at finally being able to meet this "new friend" his best gal had been talking so fondly about !! and yes, she had given them all the rundown (but him especially. he was sweat-dropping at all the enunciations in her spiel being directed so openly at him. he ain't even met you yet 😔 why is everyone bullying him he is not that bad please he just wants a new friend this isn't fair ple- #justiceforleofr ✊🏾) but with leo, there's always something happening. (/aff /lh)
y'all know ts that najimi stayed pulling in the show? giving komi these complicated orders to go collect on her own in efforts to help her overcome her social anxiety? THIS HAS LEO WRITTEN ALL OVER ITTTTTTT. he'd definitely verbally note down the most diabolical pizza order and only gives enough time to make sure you even heard it before he's shoving the phone in your hands.
now if you start shaking and hesitate, he'll wait until like the very last second before he's chuckling and looking at you with gentle eyes. he takes the phone back into his hands, confirms the order, then pats your head. he's proud of you for trying!!
(he promptly dissolves into good-natured laughter when you start cuffing at his arm, face as red as a tomato.)
tbh thinks you're a cutie pie and tho he teases you, it's all in good nature !! let someone else try to come at you for your shyness. big "only I'm allowed to tease them" energy from this blueberry.
you know leo as your charming and obnoxious but fun-loving best friend who always smiles and jokes around you. but he can be brutal when he's upset. it's like a complete 360 when he's coming to your defense; his gaze turns hard and all traces of his bubbly self. GONE.
fiercely protective over you. whenever you're with him (or any of them really) he's your protector. and you can count on him to celebrate like it's the 4th of July whenever you manage to overcome your verbal barriers.
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RAPH. our red angel of preventing harm. the backbone of our society. he is such a mother hen when it comes to you awww :(( when y'all first met & you responded to his amicable greeting by beginning to tremble and stare up at him with wide, shiny eyes, not a word of reply, he thought it was most obvious that you were scared of him. of them. ☹️
it made his heart ache but it was a familiar hurt. this may be New York, but this whole situation isn't the exact norm. (well, not yet anyway!)
then april went and pushed you forward-- closer to him, enthusiastically encouraging you to "go on, say hi!!" like some excited mom with her shy kid 😭😭. it was a few moments of tense silence, you could literally see the ". . ." in the background. then finally, in a hushed but determined whisper, you respond in kind.
yeah. he's hooked.
you bring a sense of stability and tranquility; a welcome pace to the constant chaos of his everyday normal. he's so used to all things loud and rambunctious and completely fizzy pop frenzied on a great day, that when your sweet little molasses self shows up and becomes a regular part of their everyday lives, he finds a haven that he didn't even know he wanted. much more needed.
raphie carries you in his arms to make a quick getaway? you force urge him silently to rest his head on your lap/tummy when y'all chill in peace.
he's effectively babying you? you take it with a stoic grace and appease his ruffled mother hen feathers with gentle sympathy pats to his arms when he finally relaxes.
he especially loves when you both go on little best friend dates !!
you have a tranquil, 'insider' type outlook on life so when you share your vision with them, he can't help but feel honored. being who you are in the modern world has left you with devices that conspire of the affinity to finding very cool hideaway spots!! & the more time you guys spend with each other, the closer you get. it develops into a very wholesome and loving friendship :(( ICONS, THE BOTH OF YOUSE. 🫶🏾
he loves you sm bcuz he feels like he can truly be himself - you're not the type to judge. he feels completely at ease with you and goes the extra mile to put you at ease too!!
—and you can bet he's allllways keeping leo in line as well 😭☠ like, bro can barely breathe. he can, has, and will tackle leo in mid-air because he went to tackle you in a running hug. 😪
blue bro means well when he plays around with you, but raph can only take so much before he gets tense 🥹 he just wants you to be comfortable!! :(( like, always.
he's like your teddy bear. a safety blanket. teddy blanket?? mm ^^ he's got it all for you. would bend over backwards at so much as a slight breath from you. completely whipped and unashamed of it.
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DONNIE understands you on a spiritual level. he's your twin flame. your soul brother. bro's your down b, bro's your solider, he's got that thang-thang— *loud 16-wheeler horn passes by*
no but let's lock in. donbon becomes your saving grace, whether you like it or not (but i mean c'mon, who wouldn't like it? :] bro is him.) out of all the siblings, donnie understands your apprehension to socializing the best. it's not that you don't want to interact with others, it's just . . . hard. and scary. he gets that too.
donnie himself is sociable in the way that he's not afraid to interact with others nor is he scared to; he's just an introvert and if the feeling doesn't strike him, he won't. simple as that. 😆
but you're a bit of a different story. it's not that you don't want to, it's just significantly difficult for you </3. and donnie is nothing if not persistent and a fix-it felix in his own right, so! 👏 what does he do?? what he does best, of course!! he builds. he invents. he creates.
he would absolutely create different gadgets and such to try and make things easier for you. they can range from tiny things — automatic digital/magnetized notepads, tiny flying robots that have neurotransmitters embedded within so it speaks for you in the moments your voice croaks, to literal AI robots that do close to everything for you.
once he had gotten caught up in the excitement and pure influx of creative juices + had drawn up a prototype for a replicate robot of you — purely intended on doing the things that you couldn't in a way of helping out!! — and barely survived the crossfire that he was immediately subjected to by his siblings. he snapped out of it and locked tf in after that and, after a lengthy lecture from raph, he allowed leo to rip the blueprints to shreds & mikey to burn it. yes, he might've gotten carried away in his inventions, but it's all from a place of care!!!
he buys you snacks and gifts you a cute handmade keychain the next time you come over after that. you're confused but delighted. he sticks just a little closer that day, and you allow it.
i feel he'd see himself in you. as a result, he'd want to provide you with more things and protect you a lot!!! he ain't afraid to speak up on your behalf either. trust me, he's given such poetic lip to some stuck up assholes in the social world that it rendered you genuinely speechless. but they stay as inside jokes between y'all and best believe it makes the others so jealous 🤣😭.
also not afraid to tell his own brothers off if they're crowding you a little too much (*coughleocoughcough*) — he's a lot less lenient than raphie tho 😅
he cares. a lot. maybe. he's got a soft spot for you, what can I say?
when everything and anything starts to become too much for you, he's usually pretty good at recognizing it and offers you a place of solitude in his lab! it's cool and quiet (well. quiet-er than the wipeout episode that is his daily life outside those very walls.) and generally gives a very chill vibe.
he also loves the fact that you listen to his ranting and rambling without interrupting, not even once. sometimes he thinks it's because you can't, but when he pauses and goes to inquire as much, he's met with your warmed and focused gaze, a slight quirk to your lips as you nod along and. the message is there. i'm listening.
you're lowk his bestie and he can't really live without you from now on, he thinks. it's like the grumpy cat x golden retriever trope, but you're more of a cat too. two moons coexisting! two cats drenched in purple moonlight.
y'all just get each other i made myself sad. /lh + /hj
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MIKEY aims to make you feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible !! at all times, all day, everyday. he even set up a cute little personal nook for you in the lair!! (he's such a sweetie pie y'all i'm 💔)
he was the most excited to meet you!!!! (you're his friend now. y'all are having soft tacos later!)
well, all of them were, but he was (and is) the most amicable and the most emotionally adept at understanding you and your shyness. apart of the "Save Y/N from Leo & His Shenanigans" pt 2. (i love the blueberry y'all i prommy bullying him is my love language). ofc he's just a bubbly glass of fizzy orange juice when y'all come face to face; he's all smiles and going "hi!! I'm Mikey!! what's your name??" even if april alr told them 🤦🏾‍♀️ HE'S JUST EXCITED OKAY???
hesitates for just shy of a second when you begin shaking, but then, you pull out your phone and shove the cute sanrio-themed greeting note in his snout and, the second it registers, he's beaming brighter than the sun and immediately welcomes you in, both physically and emotionally.
he makes you feel seen and heard, even when you try to chameleon your way through situations, as you've done countless times before. even when you assume your "better to be seen, not heard" posture, as you've done countless times before.
mikey being the most emotionally available of his family certainly comes with its perks!! he helps them navigate their individual friendships with you as well, and even tho there are a few hiccups along the way, you all develop a strong and lovely bond— & a large part in that is owed to mikey and his empathetic prowess.
particularly loves baking for/with you!!! it's always worth it to see your eyes light up, and he really does think you have a cute face. it's been described in a more debonair light by others, but to him, you're the sweetest little baozi and he just wants!!! to wrap you up in a blanket burrito and!!! keep you in his metaphorical pockets forever!!!!!!
he has definitely dedicated murals and different art pieces to you. sometimes you'll be minding your own business, just chilling together, and feel him staring at you. but before you can get self-conscious he always speaks up and sheepishly rubs the back of his head while pointing to the sketchbook in his lap. now, you're used to feeling his warm yet concentrated gaze on you, but your face still hasn't changed in the lobster red it becomes when he shows you the finished product :')) what can he say?? you're a one of a kind muse.
gives you cute nicknames. pinches your cheeks (if you're aiight with that.) soso affectionate with you, the fact that he loves you is unshakable and unquestionable.
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sleepysnk · 1 year
Text
a/n: after much time relaxing, i am back! thank you guys for waiting and being patient while on my break. i appreciate it a lot :). i hope you all enjoy this! <3 mitsuya was highly requested and i wanted to give him a shot!
pairings: mitsuya takashi x fem!reader
warnings: best friend!mitsuya, some angst, mentions of previous talking stages, brief mention of ran haitani x reader, mentions of food, mentions of jealousy, confessions, nsfw, smut, car sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, my girl, good girl), rough(ish) sex turning vanilla, brief spanking, praising, dirty talk, creampie, some fluff.
synopsis: you and mitsuya had been best friends since high school. you did it all together and you both had become inseparable. mitsuya’s feelings soon turned romantic quicker than he expected, but he would only watch from afar as your “best friend.” one day, when your failed talking stage goes south, he decides he’s had enough of hiding those feelings and shows you himself how much he cares about you.
just friends? ft. mitsuya takashi
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Meeting Mitsuya Takashi and having him as your best friend did so many wonderful things in your life.
The two of you had been friends since you were both freshmen in high school. Your friendship had begun when you entered your sewing class which was your second to last period of the day. Like many freshmen who enter high school, you were very jittery and nervous. You had already had a stressful day adjusting to the changes high school had brought to you, and all you desired was to go home and lay in bed. This was going to be your life for the next four years and those shifts in the environment really messed with you. You had already messed up by entering the wrong classroom and were almost late to your third period. 
When you entered the small classroom, your eyes wandered for an empty seat. Some of them had been claimed by others, but there was a free one in the back with a lavender-haired male sitting beside it. 
You hardly expected a guy to be in a sewing class. Not that you had a problem with him being there or anything, but not many guys were interested in fashion classes. However, despite that, you stepped to the back of the classroom and plopped down beside the boy. He didn’t bat much of an eye at you, and he seemed to be lost in thought. He looked to be around your age too, but nonetheless he kept to himself. You didn’t blame him either. It was quite difficult for you to make conversation with other people, especially other freshmen. 
Once the bell had rang, your teacher had introduced herself and began going over the course and welcoming anyone who was new to sewing. It was the same old introduction that was quite repetitive, so you sort of tuned her out while she talked about how she understood how stressful it might be and crap like that. You knew that facade would drop once the middle of the semester had begun. However, you quickly paid attention when you heard her spit out a few words that made any new freshmen nervous. 
“This is a bit of a social class! So, I’d like you to introduce yourself to the person beside you!”
Your heart rate had spiked at that. You had spent the entirety of your day introducing yourself to random classmates, or playing those stupid “get to know me” games. It had become quite exhausting doing such things. You would hardly speak with those people over your next four years, so you didn’t see why it was so necessary to do such a thing. Though, wanting to avoid being in trouble, you decided to turn towards the boy sitting next to you. Much to your surprise, he was already facing you with a friendly grin on his face. It relieved your anxiety seeing him do such an action. Sometimes, people didn’t give two shits about doing those chats with their classmates and just gave off the most awkward vibes ever, making it so much harder to even converse with them. 
“I’m Mitsuya Takashi, you?”
“(Y/N) (L/N).”
“What made you pick this class?”
“It looked.. interesting? I also wanted to learn to sew.. what about you?” 
“I want to become a fashion designer.”
Hearing those words made you all the more interested in becoming friends with Mitsuya Takashi. Eventually, a great friendship did form between you both. You two had become partners in sewing class and did projects with one another whenever it came up. You both had discovered you had the same lunch hour, so you often sat with him and talked about whatever had come up. The two of you had become quite the pair and learned so many things about one another. He had two baby sisters he took care of after school and he had a dream of becoming a fashion designer. It was so nice listening to him talk about different clothing items he wanted to create once he had the opportunity. Mitsuya was truly a great friend to have. 
Days turned to weeks, to months, to four years later. 
Your friendship had lasted all throughout high school. There were some bumps in the road, but you and Mitsuya had gone through hell and back with one another. He had been there for every little thing that had happened. Whether it was drama with friends, receiving your driver's license, gossip about the different guys in your classes, or even stuff about your parents, he was there for you whenever you needed him. You considered him your best friend, and he thought the same of you. The two of you were a great duo and you were blessed to have such an amazing friend like him. He never made you feel annoying or uncomfortable. It was something many people in the past had made you feel, and you were thankful he wasn’t one of them.
Both of you decided to attend the same university together too. Despite your majors being the complete opposite, you both continued going to school together. Some people called you crazy for doing such a thing, but you two loved the idea of having at least one knowledgeable person on campus. Mitsuya also had a great scholarship there as well, so it benefited him heavily. 
Little did you know, Mitsuya had feelings that weren’t just platonic.
Mitsuya knew it was somewhat wrong to develop feelings for you. You two were best friends. He knew that you would never see him in such a manner, but he just couldn’t help himself. He had developed feelings back when you both were freshmen. You were one of the first girls to ever speak to him in such a kind hearted nature. You were so pure and sweet, and your intentions were never malicious with him. He loved talking with you, and you had become such an important person in his life. He didn’t want to admit that he liked you. He ran the risk of potentially ruining your friendship if you didn’t feel the same way about him, so he kept his mouth shut about anything romantic. There were times he’d try and hint at his feelings, but it always went over your head and he feared your rejection of him.
He would always sit back from afar and watch you. He honestly wished he could come clean, because the secret was practically tearing him apart. He had so many thoughts about you it almost hurt him that he couldn’t say anything. 
With unbeknownst feelings, came other eyes to wander on you while Mitsuya stayed fixated. 
There were many guys in your school that had crushes on you, or you had feelings for. Mitsuya would listen to you talk and gossip about the ones you really liked in your classes. He knew listening to you made him feel worse than he already did, but you two were best friends. He didn’t want to tune you out just because of some selfish desire he had for you. He often envied the guys who got to know you on a romantic level. He wished it was him you were talking about every night. To be called handsome or cute by you would make him melt, but he knew that day would probably never come to be. Mitsuya was bummed, but he never wanted to leave your side. Dropping you for something so silly would probably hurt you more than anything else. He loved being your best friend. You truly blessed him in this life.
Now, as grown adults, you both faced many chances for romantic partners. There were several girls that Mitsuya had tried to speak to, but none of them were ever you. They didn’t laugh at his corny jokes or find interest in his little sisters. Some were just looking for a quick hookup, and usually by the end of it he was feeling guilty and not satisfied whatsoever. No one compares to you. He knew that, yet he still tried to continue finding somebody else that could numb those feelings for a little while. The same went for you as well. There were many men who sought you out throughout your first two years in university. Some of them had great intentions, while the others were not so great. The same theme always occurred. Mitsuya listening in on the random guys who made their moves on you. 
However, there was one occasion in particular that had Mitsuya a little alarmed.
One day, you and Mitsuya had met up on campus to study for some finals. You were both in the same math class and you had an upcoming test you had to do well on for your GPA to look nice for the next semester. While trying to study, you both began talking about your days and how it had gone. Mitsuya was listening but the mention of a certain name had made him pause completely in his notes.
“This guy.. Ran Haitani? He’s so hot! He gave me his number today!”
The pen in his hand almost snapped when you mentioned Ran Haitani of all people. Mitsuya had heard plenty of things about the man on campus. He was a year older than you two and he was kind of a heart throb on campus. He partied a lot and every girl swooned over the Haitani brother. Mitsuya never cared much for drama with other guys. If they wanted to play around with people’s feelings, then so be it. He just never liked to be included in such activities. However, hearing that you were involved completely shifted the story. He didn’t want you to possibly get hurt or end up in some crappy situation. You were never really involved in drama like that with guys or even girls for that matter, but he knew full well that Ran would lead you into something bad. He wasn’t the nicest guy and he probably had some malicious intent behind his words. 
Mitsuya contemplated on what he should do. He didn’t want to be a bad best friend and possibly hide information about Ran that could be crucial to your opinion on him, but he didn’t want you thinking he was doing anything out of bad intent. 
“I dunno if that’s a good idea, (Y/N). I haven’t heard the greatest things.”
Initially, his response confused you and he could see it written all over your face. Mitsuya had never spoken against other guys before, so it was very much a surprise to see him doing such a thing now. He feared at that moment he had done something wrong, considering you had been quite silent since he had replied to you. He just wanted to be as honest and crystal clear with you as possible. The last thing he’d want was that idiot Ran guy messing with your feelings. You had a big heart. Mitsuya knew that fully well, but he wouldn’t want anyone else messing around with it like it was a toy. 
“I just.. think he’s cute! That’s all! Plus, it’s not anything serious. Maybe it will be fun, Mitsuya!”
He wished it was just fun to you.
However, like a majority of your talking stages, they never really went anywhere. Ran Haitani was one of them. 
Mitsuya had no clue what happened until you phoned him earlier in the night. You sounded quite annoyed and upset over the entire situation with Ran. He had apparently ghosted you for some reason, and you had no idea why. It was frustrating to Mitsuya to hear such things. These lame guys leaving you for no goddamn reason pissed him off more than he would like to admit. There was so much to like about you. You had this amazing personality and your beauty only went along with that. There should have been guys kissing the ground you walked on. Not ghosting and leaving you for other girls that weren’t even on your level of awesome. He wished he could just tell you how he felt, but there was this devil on his shoulder that told him otherwise not to. It made him so angry, but all he could do was bite his tongue on the matter.
Mitsuya never wanted to admit jealousy. You were your own person, but his roommate, Hakkai, was very quick to point it out. He tried telling his close companion about what had gone down with Ran, and his response didn’t necessarily make it any better. 
“You’re jealous.. that’s what I’m reading here.”
Those words annoyed Mitsuya. Maybe deep down he envied those men that had their eyes on you, but jealousy? No way. 
Being the best friend he was to you, he tried his best to give you the best advice he could on the situation. He told you that Ran didn’t deserve you and that he was truly missing out on what a great girl you were. All you did was thank him and you two had made plans that following weekend to hang out. Mitsuya wished you took his words more seriously, because they were true. Assholes like that never deserved to see how great of a person you were. If he had it his way, he would have knocked them on their asses, but alas, he could never do such a thing. Not without practically spilling his guts out to you about how he’s wanted to date you since he was fourteen years old. 
He did look forward to hanging out with you, though. You were one of the few people Mitsuya genuinely enjoyed hanging out with outside of his classes. You brought so much happiness to the man, so much so he wished he could tell you all about it. 
However, he didn’t expect what was to come once he picked you up that day.
Your hangout with Mitsuya had started pretty casual and normal. He had picked you up from your dorm and you both went out to eat. He ended up choosing the spot that time since you had the chance the previous occasion. It was fairly nonchalant. You spoke about new assignments you had to get done and even brought up a vacation your mother had planned for you over the summer. Mitsuya didn’t have much to say about summer break. He usually had to take care of his sisters while his mom worked the entire day, but he did agree to make plans with you while school wasn’t in session. You guys were practically attached to the hip over summer break. It was hard to find a moment when you two weren’t out and about on the streets with one another.
You two had eventually finished your food and paid for your meals. Once you left the restaurant, you two had gone for a bit of a drive around town. The day was perfect too. The weather was clear and warm, and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. It had to be one of the greatest days you guys have had in a while.
Once the sun had begun to retire for the day, you guys had traveled to one of your favorite lookout spots in all of town. It was a small clearing that was at the top of a hill. It displayed all of the lights and if you looked far enough you would be able to see the city twinkling in the distance. You guys adored coming up there every now and then, especially when the sunset was pretty. You both began talking about random stuff that was on your mind. Whether it was school or summer plans, you always had something to talk about with one another. Mitsuya always paid great attention to you. You were always so cute when you spoke about something you were passionate about. He could listen to your voice forever if it meant he got to see your smiling face whenever he replied to you. 
Though, Mitsuya hadn’t expected to end up in the backseat with you doing something that was completely shocking to him.
You were both in the back. Your thighs were on either side of him while his cock was buried inside your creamy pussy. Slick trailed down his shaft from how wet you had gotten. Your arms were wrapped around Mitsuya’s neck while he bounced you on his dick. His hands never left the plush of your hips. The grip he had on you was tight enough that it could leave a bruise on your delicate skin. You were so fucking tight. He spent so many nights fantasizing about what it would be like to fuck you in his car, or even on his bed. He never imagined a moment like this would ever come to be. Your pretty tits in his face, gorgeous voice calling out his name like it was a prayer. You were truly a sight to see, and he felt blessed being able to see it.
His pace was set at a rough one. His cock was bullying your walls and practically splitting you apart with each thrust. You didn’t think Mitsuya was that big but my god it was. He was finding all of the spaces and areas that made your eyes roll back into your skull. “M-Mitsuya..! Oh my god!” your hold around his neck tightened as the pleasure increased in your gut. He was doing everything to make you see stars, and you were living for it. 
Your voice calling his name set that fire within him ablaze. He began to roll your hips on his cock, watching with every move how your body reacted to him. Mitsuya gritted his teeth from how greatly you were sucking him in. Your walls clenched and twitched with every inch of his cock entering you. You were taking him so well. Mitsuya had this regret of not informing you sooner of his feelings, or even making an attempt to fuck you. You were like an angel sent from heaven itself just for him. So perfect and beautiful that it was no wonder why all of these men at school foamed at the mouth for such a pretty woman like you. He was finally savoring the feeling of what it’s like to fuck you, and he couldn’t believe it was this exhilarating. What a fucking beauty you were. “Ah! That’s it, princess! Takin’ my cock like such a good girl..” he then landed a slap against the fat of your ass. “F-Fuck.. can’t get enough of you, baby!”
His praise only made you squeeze him harder, earning several grunts from the man. He took a mental note of that and continued fucking you at that pace. You hissed when that sting came from his palm, but nonetheless, it faded into pleasure as he continued rutting into you. 
He wasn’t sure how things led up to this moment. You were both sitting back there, watching the sun disappear behind the clouds. It was an activity you both had indulged in several times since you both became friends. You were conversing about random things and, before he knew it, Mitsuya had kissed you. He completely lost his self control and you both began making out with each other. He tried to apologize for invading your personal space and pause before things went in another direction, but you hushed him by grinding onto his aching cock and pressing your lips against his own. Mitsuya could hardly believe that it was finally happening, but you were just too addictive for him to say no. He had been wanting a moment like this for so fucking long that letting it slip through his fingers would fill him with regret. God, he wanted you so fucking badly.
Both of you were in complete bliss. Mitsuya was showing no signs of stopping, but to be fair, you didn’t want him to stop. He was placing you on cloud nine with how great his cock was. It had been such a long time since you had sex this great. You weren’t sure why it was hitting differently. Maybe it was because you were fucking your best friend of almost six years in the back of his car. There were a few times where you thought about what Mitsuya would be like in bed. You never shared those thoughts out loud, but they often plagued your brain more often than you would like to admit. 
The sound of skin slapping against one another filled the car. Mitsuya’s hands squeezed the underside of your thighs while his cock kissed your g-spot rapidly. Sharp gasps filled his ears whenever he reached that button inside of you. He smirked to himself knowing he had found it and continued abusing it. “Shit.. you like that, baby? Heh.. bet I fuck you b-better than those assholes you mess with, yeah..?” he reached forward and squeezed your throat with his hand, causing a whimper to escape your lips. “Tell me, baby, tell me I’m better..” 
Though your breathing was slightly labored due to his grip on your throat, you managed to open your mouth to speak. “Y-Yes! You’re – ah! – so much better, Mitsuya..!” you nodded your head, desperation dripping from your voice. 
He released the hold on your throat and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. Your lips were so soft and puffy. He didn’t want to ever stop kissing you. Your hands tangled themselves into his lilac hair, tugging and pulling at the strands from how high the ecstasy made you feel. Mitsuya swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, silently asking for permission to enter your mouth. Once your lips parted, his tongue darted into it and the kiss became deeper. He swallowed down all of those delicious moans and cries of pleasure. He almost chuckled when he felt you struggling to kiss him back. He was hardly doing that much to you, and you were already weak for him? How fucking cute of you. He knew you would be a total sight during sex. Mitsuya envied any guy that fucked you before he did. They probably didn’t pay attention to the most beautiful parts of you. Like the way you gasped whenever he touched your g-spot, or the way your pretty skin felt under his fingertips. Not him, no, he paid attention to every little detail there was on you.
His heart had been betraying him that entire time. It screamed to pour out those feelings he had been trying to mask for the last few years. Mitsuya Takashi was madly in love with you, his best friend. He yearned to finally let his real self be shown to you, but he feared so much. You could easily reject him and never speak to him again, but he wanted to be a part of your life whether as your best friend or your boyfriend.
Mitsuya was cracking and he finally reached a point where he could no longer conceal that side of him. He had to tell you. He was practically burying himself inside your guts right now, and the excitement of it all was pushing him to do such a thing. “F-Fuck.. (Y/N).. I love you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. He made direct eye contact with you. Your eyes were clouded with pleasure and, to be honest, it didn’t seem like his words had registered through your brain. “‘Love you so much.. I can’t h-hide it anymore..”
Your eyes went wide at his statement. You had no idea that Mitsuya felt that way towards you. You thought his love for you was platonic and more brother-like, but romantic? You hardly expected those words to slip from his lips. It was a lot for you to process, especially since your brain was quite literally mush at that moment. If anything, sleeping with him proved that you felt the same way towards your best friend. You knew your feelings for Mitsuya weren’t just regular ones anymore. The way you thought of him, the amount of time you spent with him. There was a reason you wanted to be around Mitsuya more than any other guy. It may have not been love, but your heart pushed in his direction more than anything else. 
Your silence made Mitsuya’s heart drop inside his chest. He worried that you didn’t see him in such a light, and it was honestly embarrassing. However, he knew this was probably the reality of his situation. You didn’t feel the same and he was okay with that. Those thoughts were quickly interrupted when you pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn’t rough or aggressive by any means. If anything, it felt real and he swore he saw sparks fly when your lips connected with his. His thrusts soon slowed and your hips were now slowly rolling along his cock, earning a few grunts from him. Just as quickly as you kissed him, you pulled away to look at your best friend. “I like you.. Mitsuya.” your face burned with those words escaping your lips. 
He was in a state of shock. He couldn’t believe you were being truthful with him. He could easily tell when you were lying to him about something, but you were so fucking genuine that it made him want to jump for joy. Instead of saying anything else, he pulled you in by your neck to kiss you. “Come here, baby..” he whispered, then captured your lips with his. He then began to slowly rut his hips up into you. Those relentless thrusts turned savory and slow, allowing both of you bathe in each other’s embrace properly.
His hand rested on your waist, guiding you as you rode his cock. You were getting close to your high. That knot inside your belly was tightening with each thrust of his hips. You sought that release more than anything else. Mitsuya could sense it too. Your body was behaving in such a manner that practically gave it away. You were becoming whiny and your thighs were beginning to tremble beside him. He wanted to give you such a great orgasm that you wouldn’t need another man to do it for you. Only he could do such a thing to your body. 
Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulder. The white hot pleasure in your gut had you practically crying his name. You pulled away, disconnecting the kiss between you two. Mitsuya saw how needy you were for him and his cock. He thought you looked so fucking gorgeous like that. “M-Mitsuya..” you whimpered, making eye contact with the man sitting before you. “Please.. fuck.. ‘m gonna cum. Need you so badly..!” 
Mitsuya increased his pace just a little, allowing you to inch closer and closer towards that desire you had within you. He watched your jaw fall slack and several high pitched moans slip from your lips. “C’mon.. be a good girl, princess.” he then began toying with your puffy clit, causing your hips to buck at the doubled pleasure. “Never gonna let anyone break your heart again..! I promise to t-take – ah! – good care of you.. you’re my girl..” 
Within seconds, your pussy clamped around his dick. Your orgasm rippled through you harder than you had expected. Your entire body began to shake and a loud cry of pleasure filled the car, bouncing off the walls. Mitsuya had also reached his high with you as well. His cum filled your cunt, covering your walls with sticky white seed. A mess had coated the base of his cock. The creamy white ring circled around it, allowing several noises to be heard as he slowed his thrusts down. He honestly couldn’t believe that you two had done such a thing with one another. However, he had zero regrets doing what he did. He was finally able to come clean with not just you, but also himself. He needed that release more than anything else. 
You slumped against his body. Your body was quite tired and you were twitching from your climax. Mitsuya’s hand landed behind your back, rubbing small circles on your skin. The temperature inside the vehicle had gradually increased from your activities, so the heat was uncomfortable. Sweat clung to your skin, leaving a small shine to your flesh. Neither of you gave much care, though. All you could think about was each other. 
You turned your face so you could press a small kiss against Mitsuya’s cheek. He couldn’t hide the smile that had formed on his features when your soft lips made contact with his skin. He held your body tighter against his own, making you feel safe with the man. “I meant what I said..” you whispered, letting your eyes fall shut. “I really do like you, Mitsuya.”
He chuckled, resting his head against your own. “I meant it too, (Y/N).”
917 notes · View notes
vixenveil · 2 years
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How Do Men View You? PAC
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Pile # 1 🔥💋 : Six of Wands, Nine of Cups, The Sun, Page of Swords and Strength. 4 of Swords on bottom of deck.
Okay, you got me lowkey vibin' right now pile 1! You got some awesome cards.
So, how do men view you?
You probably post lovely things on social media. Either you or others are always posting you and your achievements. Men think that you are their fulfillment or see you living a fulfilled life. They think "luxury" when they see you for whatever reason.
They think you are joyous and happy. They view you like someone who could be their own wish fulfillment. Others may feel you are smug, since you are proud of your achievements. You may or may not be arrogant, but men like this about you!
You are a strong person who has overcome challenges in your life.
You are intelligent as well. You are an opportunist and others might view you as slightly competitive. Again, some men view you as stuck up. They may feel like you only want someone with high achievements so you can show them off on social media. They feel like you would make them happy and are worth showing off, as well as making a great asset to them during hard times. They view you as friendly and charismatic also.
Spirit wants you to know that you should use your intelligence to vet men that approach you and in dating.
You use your intelligence in ways that give you a leg up in other ways and are very resourceful.
You appear very successful and may attract these kinds of men. If they aren't approaching you now, they want to. Enjoy your successes and share them online.
You may have been born for the spotlight or you may be well known. Even if it's just in a small town!
Are you a Leo or do you have Leo placements in your chart? Leo is very much present in this reading. Sag, gemini, libra and pisces are coming through as well. I am also hearing "virgo" from spirit.
You bring warmth and light into any room and in any situation. You encourage others to be stronger, especially men. You appear to be living the good life to others. Some may cast the evil eye on you, so make sure you are protected. No worries, just say a little prayer to whoever or whatever being you believe in and you will be safe from. You are protected.
Do older men feel drawn to you? I feel like a lot of men are, but you are so amazing it makes them feel like competative or spiteful toward you. You are doing so well that younger men may feel threatened and like they have nothing to offer you. Continue to be you, though. You will easily bring down their walls by being your charming and happy little self.
Plenty of players see you and want to break you. You may deal with a lot bullying from boys. If you're a teenager, expect this to carry on until you can tell them to fuck right off. Honey, do that! At the first sign of f*ckboi mentality, walk away. Just turn and leave, even if they want to keep talking. You don't have to.
Are you often in tough situations? I see you being creative and getting tf out of it somehow, by using your intellect. You are also a badass.
Older men will see that you are a diamond and wish to have you on their side as an asset because, let's face it, you're trophy wife material. Men who are older see that you are strong and can handle whatever situation they are faced with. You are smart and probably young. They want to help you because you're cute to them.
Good things are coming. A break. A much needed break. You will have a time of rest and it may seem uncomfortable, but you don't need the anixety that comes with being ambitious and unable to do anything. Listen to music if you can and meditate often during your period of rest.
Others may not see the mental exhaustion you're dealing with. I'm sorry, I know that's tough! Go ahead and rest your mind. And your body. Stop dating for a while and just focus on relaxing. You have many, many options. Don't let it give you anxiety. If you're dealing with recent betrayal spirit is handling it behind the scenes.
If you have major anxiety, make a list of what is bothering you the most right now. Also try talking to a therapist. I know that you do this over chat on 7 Cups of Tea. I used to be a listener on 7 Cups and it was really fulfilling. I helped others when doing that, so if you need help, there are plenty of good people out there who will listen to you vent about just anything you need to get off your chest.
I know it can make you doubt you intuition when you know there's a connection and the other side literally ignores it. Just know they are fighting with themselves to put you out of their mind.
Channeled Songs: Play Date - Melanie Martinez \\ Princess Castle - Jazmin Bean \\ Bad Company - Five Finger Death Punch \\ idfc - Blackbear
Pile #2  🖤🌙: The Magician, The Ace of Cups, Eight of Cups, Six of Cups, Two of Wands, King of Pentacles. Bottom of the deck was Ace of wands.
You are a feminist, aren't you? At the very least, you want to take care of yourself. Men see that you may be a witch. You can also be a little mischievous at times, though I'm seeing that you are perceived as stoic. This is a haunting beauty you have. You are somehow captivating to others, even if you aren't super youthful looking or very trendy. I'm seeing someone who could just wear dirt and have messy hair while still maintaining sex appeal. Like... how do you do that?!
Are you aware of this power you have? Some of you definitely are, but for those who have no clue, understand the power you hold. I'm getting Plutonian and Saturnarian beauty. You might seem a little scary to people at times too, but this is a super power. Wield it carefully.
Anyway, back to how men view you! Sorry for being such a simp~ Haha.
Men have offered you love and you've walked away. You want to be sure you aren't committing to the wrong person. You don't look like the kind of person who will accept any old offer. Maybe you walked away from true love in favor of social climbing. Which is a viable life choice and there will be zero shaming of such energy.
You are a baddie for sure. You seem like you tolerate very little bullshit... as in: none at all. You may shut out the opportunity for love in favor of catering to friends or family.
You may have been abandoned before in love, like things were great and they went ghost. Then you had to deal with that shit on your own. You are a planner and a doer. You are good at making plans and sometimes follow through. I see that you have discipline when it comes to your job and that honestly just makes me simp for you harder.
Anyway, you attract the kind of men who walk away from your genuine love. It is hurtful, so you drown yourself in work or sleeping around. Maybe even alcohol. This is for some of you baddies, because you are intense and impressive. It scares men away. When others bear their heart and soul to you it is scary for you too. You may have turned away from lots of genuine offers of love.
You may also feel that "love" is better spent on people who need it more than you. Maybe you haven't received any pleasant offers lately. You know your goal is to be independent and you may be actively manifesting that right now. You are doing a great job. Keep going.
Others don't know what they want and you're too dedicated to your goals to make room for them to waste your time! Smart.
Water signs and Earth signs are present in this reading as well as Gemini and Aries. Do you have prominent Capricorn placements as well? MC, AC or inner planets? This is some heavy Saturnarian energy. <3
Channeled Songs: it's not u it's me - Bea Miller \\ Man's World - Marina \\ Fuel to Fire - Agnes Obel \\ Fake It - Joy
Pile #3 💖✨: 8 of Swords, Knight of Cups, The Fool, Four of Cups, Seven of Wands, 10 of Swords. Bottom of the deck: The High Priestess, Six of Wands, Three of Cups and The King of Pentacles.
You are attracting men who take care of you. You are playing up the damsel in distress thing and allowing others to cater to you. You birlliantly use your past betrayals to endear others to you and give you what you want. You are also sexy to them.
They want to offer you love and be the "good guy" who helps you heal your heart. You also appear more innocent than you really are.
That is not to say you are evil, manipulative or pathetic. You are quite the opposite. Strategic, logical and fun loving at the same time. You're adorable and endearing. People love to "rescue" you.
The love the attention they receive from saving you, though some of them may just be looking to boost their own image by being kind to you. Helping you is a big achievement and they will expect accolades for doing so.
You use this to your advantage in order to get what you need and want.You should work on perfecting this skill! Finely tune your damsel in distress and happy-go-lucky (aka Disney Princess) vibe.
You seem so innocent and in need of rescuing constantly! Men love this about you, work with it. Men can be underhanded to you at times as well and you can seem guarded. They might view you as someone who is making an offer to them that is genuine, but they're too busy playing the field.
Regardless, sometimes men see you as being unsatisfied with everything they do for you and then they overcompensate by doing more. You're a heart breaker. And we don't shame that kind of thing here. ;)
You leave men feeling baffled as to why they were never enough, but the truth is that you can use your innocence to endear really bad and predatory players to you. They end up catering to you and then you drop them, moving on to the next. The players end up left in the dust, one after the other, and you're fine with this.
In fact, you should do this. It gets you what you want and makes men serve you. As they should. ;)S*x kitten vibes! You're strategic and intuitive about your targets. If not, this is your sign to utilize these natural gifts for this purpose! I love that about you. You're energy is awesome. Sit back and let the world serve you.You probably get the ick easily and move on quickly.
Scorpio, Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Pisces and Virgo are coming through. All signs are present, but those I feel strongly. You may have prominant Sagittarius placements as well. Mayyybe cancer placements too.
Channeled Songs: Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift \\ I Was Never There - The Weeknd \\ Aint Sh*t - Doja Cat \\ Under The Influence - we don't name abusers, sorry.
Pile #4 🤩💗: Justice, Eight of Swords, The Chariot, Ace of Wands, King of Swords. Bottom of the deck: The Star, Eight of Wands.
For this pile, I'm immediately seeing that men view you as someone who can save one's own self. However, they also want to offer you love and feel the need to take action toward you. You are arousing to men as well.
You have the "it girl" factor for whatever reason. You're pretty unique and intelligent. You seem to be blunt with people and fair. Men like this authoritative energy.
They see you as their wish fulfillment. People find you astonishing. When you're in a hard place, men want to come to you and offer you help. You are desired as a sneaky link too.People want to show you off, since you're arm candy.
They want a taste of your world, since you have something most people don't. They can see that in you and they want to be the special person who gets to experience it.
You may be somewhat famous or well-known. You are gossiped about. Sorry, I know it sucks when people run their mouths for no reason. Men are excited to see you and get your texts. If you ghost them, it makes them doubt themselves. They get confused by this. It makes you seem rare to them. <3
You seem like you are too good for most people. You appreciate honesty and fairness. You probably won't put up with bullying. You also don't seem like you want any small fry f-bois in your business unless you need a good time. You value honesty and integrity. When a man doesn't exhibit this, it turns you off.
Men want to do right by you and it makes them feel really happy to do so. Men view you as intimidating because you are too honest and it scares them. You make them feel powerless when you're judging a situation fairly.
You are very perceptive and intelligent, so it makes sense that men who have bad intentions would feel unable to approach you. You hold people accountable. It makes some men feel like they should confess their wrong doings to you.
Your forgiveness or understanding would be very healing to them. However, they know you would absolutely hold them to their actions and words. This scares them, so they probably don't get confrontational with you often. You have the lowest tolerance for b*llshit out of all the piles. Damn.
You are end game. Men want to have you on their side in any argument. You seem like you're not going to let men use you for the reasons I've mentioned though.
Even though you're beautiful, like a literal angel, men will use you for other reasons if you let them. I feel strongly that you absolutely will not.You are hard to get and fun to chase. When you are tired of a partner, you easily move on, but you make them feel hopeful or good about themselves instead of leaving them crushed.
You are difficult for men to read when trying to figure out if you like them back. There are plenty who are attracted to you though. I was struggling with the energy of this pile, which tells me you are guarded. You might be a lil bit of a f*ck boi yourself. :o
Aquarius, Libra, Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Pisces, Cancer. Libra is the strongest, followed up by Aquarius.
Channeled Songs: Middle of The Night - Elley Duhe // Into You - Ariana Grande // Play Date- Melanie Martinez //
Please don’t steal~ <3 I hope it resonated with someone! ✌️
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elodieunderglass · 1 year
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Referring to you "anxieties of the culture" horror tropes post, I just watched the 1990 adaptation of IT and this comes less than a month after watching both Kolchak movies & starting the TV show. What do you think it was about the late-70s/early-80s that led to "the killer is a monster that hibernates for a set number of years before returning to perform the killings again, as a grim echo of the past, and it's up to the heroes to stop it now before it rears its ugly head again"? There's gotta be some "pass-the-buck" crisis that PEAKED in that time period, something that was a long time coming before that and may or may not have continued since. I don't think it's climate change, that wasn't really at Critical Mass yet until the HFC hairspray crisis of the mid-80s. Your thoughts?
(In reference to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/729604545735458816)
Oh that is SO interesting! I also like the Horrors of the Past that Re-Emerge. You get them in fantasy too. To some extent they’re quite nice, because they displace responsibility, allowing the heroes to grapple with something distanced. necromantically resurrected Zombie Nazis will always be a more appealing enemy, for a broad market, than your present-day actual real life QAnon uncle. You can blow up an Ancient Horror as much as you like, can’t you? You don’t need to worry about the tricky present-day political circumstances that birthed the serial killer if it’s actually an ancient time-travelling monster. Monsters are often articulated and described and used because they are “safe” in this way: a displaced thing that can be used. Separate from us in species, appearance, home planet, history of origin, motives, spacetime - the farther they are from us and our shared background, the more justifiable it is to nuke them from orbit, to make a splashy movie.
HOWEVER. As I said in that post - “horror reflects social anxieties” is a SUPER well-described piece of media study and you can read proper writing about that anywhere. I encourage you to seek it out! They say it much better than I do.
I also said in that post that I, myself, don’t watch horror/movies/film. It isn’t due to contempt for the genre, or fear of the content - I just can’t get into it or get immersed, which defeats the point of an immersive genre meant to provoke response. (For example, despite being explicitly told that I would love Stranger Things Season 4 and that I was required to write fic about it for a friend, I gave out at the beginning of season 2; despite being really fond of Welcome to Night Vale at a formative time of my life, I dropped out before StrexCorp. And those are things I generally liked, wanted to consume, and knew I would enjoy! It’s a me problem, and I’m not bothered by it. I am TOO BUSY.)
That’s just to say that I could spitball some thoughts, but I’d be out of my depth.
But here’s an idea. A very small minority of people in the notes took offence to me having meta thoughts about horror when I don’t consume the genre - and worse, saying them out loud, while also openly admitting that I’m out of my depth and would prefer an expert to say it better. “YOU are a COWARD,” they say. “The audacity of commenting on a trend in a genre that you don’t even watch.” “You complain so much but don’t even watch these films” “imagine writing all this with such a bad attitude about horror.” etc.
I think those people have effectively volunteered to write you an essay. They clearly have the horror-consuming chops! Perhaps not the reading comprehension … or analysis skills… but they definitely watch a lot more horror media than I do, so why not give them a crack at it? (This is jokes, don’t bother them.)
Alternatively - there are a lot of clever and savvy people with good takes around here, so they’re welcome to spin out some answers on this post.
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Text
Devilish
A scare during the witching hour turns into something more pleasant than you thought it would.
Character; Trey Clover
Content; Gender-neutral reader, some fear but ends in fluff
Content Warning; Fear/anxiety, swearing
Word Count; 1.6 K
Author's Note; This is for @jade-s-nymph's TWSTober collab! I had a lot of fun writing this, plus this is my first fic/serious work featuring Trey ^v^ Please make sure you support the other writers and artists in this collab as well; and remember to reblog works that you enjoyed!
As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist
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You woke up, a bit in a daze since you were just deep asleep, but the groggy daze of ‘Why am I awake… nevermind, I’m going back to bed’ quickly left your mind as a strong, acrid, smell filled the air; the smell of something burning. That grogginess quickly morphed into a slowly building and intensifying anxiety, but none of the smoke alarms were going off… you still got up though and turned on all the lights; you wouldn’t be able to rest easy until you found the source of the smell.
Room by room, you turned on the lights, and thankfully you didn’t find anything ablaze. Thinking about it, you didn’t even have anything on that could theoretically start a fire… better safe than sorry.
I mean, like, who wouldn’t wake up and not be freaked out? My brain is practically running around in circles and screaming FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! You thought to yourself, rubbing your eyes. You also knew full well that you wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep after this, the anxious part of your brain making sure that you stayed awake until you either found the source of the smell, or it went away.
You ended your quest of trying to find the smell in the kitchen, but there was no sign of smoke or the ‘fire’ that your brain imagined engulfing all of your earthly possessions. Yet, you didn’t feel relieved, instead, you hunched over your counter and started scrolling through your phone, looking for answers.
‘what smells like burning rubber’ 
You got everything from phantom smells caused by hallucinations, to electrical fires, to skunk. You let out a sigh and massaged your temples. Yeah, I should have seen that coming. Go looking for answers and instead, I have more questions than I began with. 
“Lovely,” you sighed, straightening yourself back up and looking up at the ceiling, “just lovely.”
It was honestly no use trying to go back to sleep now, since you were fully awake. Glancing at the clock, you groaned again; it wasn’t even four in the morning; what kind of sick joke was that? 
You gave your clock the stink eye but started your journey back to your bed, maybe you could start reading that book you’ve been meaning to get into… or you could just scroll mindlessly through social media while nice and comfy under your blankets. But right as you reached the threshold of your room, three knocks sounded out.
You paused and listened. Knock, knock, knock. There they were again, but they weren’t coming from the front door, no. You were half tempted to pull the blinds back from the window, but if there was some creep knocking on your window in the dead of night, you would rather not come across them. So yet again, you went through your place, triple-checking that all the locks were secure. First a fire scare, and now this? Today wasn’t going great, was it?
All of the locks checked out though, everything was good.
Knock. Knock. KNOCK.
A third round of knocking, but this time it was louder, more insistent. And the burning smell was back, and you could taste it from how strong it was. It commanded all of your attention and wasn’t going to be ignored… it was consuming, hungry almost. 
You were back in the kitchen, and thankfully(?) there was no more knocking, it seemed like three sets of three and it was done, but the smell, the smell. It was oppressive, and you started coughing, but despite the all-consuming smell of fire and burning, there was no smoke anywhere to be found; with the smell this thick, you would have been able to feel it. 
You went ahead to turn on the light, but despite you flipping the switch up and down multiple times, the light stayed off. And the rest of the lights just shut off suddenly on your final flip of the light switch, plunging you into darkness, engulfing you in darkness and the smell of burning.
FUCK! You fumbled around for your phone, trying to get the flashlight on.
Knock, knock, knock. The knocking was back, and it was slower and louder than before.
Finally, your phone’s flashlight turned on, and from the darkness, a pair of glowing yellow eyes stared at you, unblinking and looking into you, as if trying to see your very being.
And you? You just stood there, frozen, barely even breathing, since hey THERE WERE GLOWING EYES IN YOUR HOUSE STARING AT YOU? HELLO?! WHAT?!
You tried to move, to even open your mouth so you could make some attempt to either scream in horror, or hiss obscenities at whatever was in your kitchen, but you were frozen. And as you stared back into the glowing eyes, they were getting closer, and changing from a startling, eerie glowing gold, to something more dull and warm; a warm hazel. Despite this change from unnatural to something more human, they still pried into your consciousness, as if looking for something.
Soon, the former-glowing-eyed thing that was lurking in the dark corners of your kitchen stepped into the weak light of your flashlight. By the time he — yes, he — had stepped into the weak cold light, his eyes had stopped glowing. But the smell, the acrid smell of something burning, was stronger than ever, and it was coming from him. Yet, he looked like a polite neighbour who would offer you some sugar if you ran out, but you knew that wasn’t what he was.
He cleared his throat, and fixed his glasses, still keeping eye contact with you which you couldn’t escape. “You summoned me?”
You blinked in surprise at the question. It was out of pocket, but this entire situation was entirely ludicrous when you really thought about it. But the green-haired man just blinked back at you, as if he was just as confused at the current situation as you were. It was almost comical in a sense.
Finally, whatever spell you were under, lifted. “No,” you said, still gauging what he was since human was only the form he was taking on. “No, I really didn’t.” 
He offered you a polite smile, which was unnerving as it was charming; and if you were in a completely different situation, it would have you feeling at ease. The hairs on the back of your neck stood at end though, and your brain screamed DANGER! DANGER! RUN AWAY!
“You did though,” he chuckled softly, scratching the back of his neck. “Don’t you remember? At the bakery?”
The bakery? … all you had gotten at the bakery was some sugar, flour, and some lemon squares. And you would have remembered him if you saw him at the bakery; since green hair wasn’t natural, yet it looked like it was for him.
You shook your head, “All I got was some supplies and lemon bars. I didn’t ‘summon’ you. And what do you mean by ‘summon’? Who are you? What are you? How did you even get in my house?”
He pursed his lips and looked at you pensively. “Must have been a mix-up then… you don’t seem like the type to summon…” He let out a deep sigh, and adjusted his glasses — apparently, both of you were not happy with your current situations. Also, you didn’t know if you should have been offended or not at that statement. “Can I see what you got?”
You nodded, bringing out the flour and sugar, which, judging by his lack of reaction other than saying, “That’s a good deal for that,” was not the reason why he just spawned in your house. But then you showed him the half-eaten container of lemon bars, with three still left over.
“Ah, looks like there was a mix-up,” he chuckled. He turned back to you, with your citrus confectionaries in hand. “These are demon bars, not lemon bars. Eating them summons, well, a demon.”
A demon… A DEMON?! You balked at him, looking from the traitorous sweets to his bashful smile. And no wonder they tasted devilishly sweet… You knew it was bad going shopping on an empty stomach, and now you were dealing with the consequences.
“No offence, but uhhhh, how do I… send you back?” You were going to say ‘get rid of you’ but you didn’t want to offend the guy; he seemed polite enough, but you also didn’t want to test your luck either. “And what do I call you? Since I don’t want to just call you ‘demon’?”
The demon brought his hand to his chin and looked at you. 
Man, his eyes are pretty when they aren’t glowing in the dark— WHAT AM I THINKING?! GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF! You dug your fingernails into your palm to stop your wandering, and sleep-deprived, thoughts from skipping merely down a rose-tinted road.
He looked at the ‘lemon’ bars (apparently it wasn’t just a fancy cursive L then) and looked back up to you. “Trey, you can call me Trey.” 
Like a serving tray? Or three in Spanish?
“As for sending me back? Well, you didn’t know they were actually contracts, so I think if we make three more of those bars you should be good.” He nodded at the end.
Your night had taken multiple turns; from you thinking your house was aflame, to being scared half to death by Trey in your kitchen, to now making demonic-infused lemon bars in your kitchen at four in the morning… at least you made it out with your soul intact with the whole experience only costing you some ingredients, which you could always get more of… and maybe you even made a friend in the process?
...
...
Tags; @afunkyfreshblog, @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @lucid-stories, @savanaclaw1996, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii
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suzukiblu · 3 months
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hi! i have a question for you, if that’s ok? i always try to leave comments on fics i read, especially on ao3 where it’s really easy to do that. in other fandoms i’ve been in, before getting into dc, fic authors often responded to my comments on their works and it was pretty easy to make friends through that and other social media and have lots of fun interactions talking about the fandom and our favorite characters etc.
however, i’ve found with this fandom it seems to be very different? almost nobody seems to respond to comments on their fics and i’ve found it very difficult to make any fandom friends, even in a casual-tumblr-mutuals kind of way. (this isn’t about you btw, you seem like the friendliest person i’ve come across on here so far which is why i’m asking you haha)
i completely understand many people are busy or some authors may find responding to comments overwhelming, but i was just wondering if this is something you or anyone else has noticed? is it a quirk of the dc fandom in particular? or am i just getting older and fandoms in general are changing haha, idk.
anyway sorry for the long ramble, feel free to ignore if i’m making no sense. i really enjoy all your stories (and your art! your art style is so cute!) and i hope you’re having a great day :]
Thank you, I'm glad you like my stuff! Especially the art, that I always feel like I'm worse at, hah. ❤️ I hope you're having a great day too. And asking me questions is always okay, no worries! I can't always get to everything in my inbox, to be honest, but I do my best to respond to as much stuff as I can. Either way, though, I never mind getting questions.
Personally I don't currently respond to most of my comments (I try to answer questions that aren't spoilers, but that's usually it these days) because it's just really easy for me to run out of spoons doing it and end up down a rabbit hole of comments instead of actually WRITING, which stresses me out because then I don't feel suitably "productive" for my imposter syndrome brain, and I also know a few people who don't respond because of anxiety or things like that, but I don't know if it's specifically a DC fandom thing or an overall trend in fandom in general? Every fandom is different, obviously, and also certain SECTIONS of those fandoms are different. Like, when I was into MCU fandom, I never really expected super-involved responses when I wrote Stucky because there was SO MUCH Stucky that it seemed like a lot of people just kinda churned through it and it all blurred together for them, but when I wrote about Darcy Lewis oh BOY did people come out of the woodwork to tell me how much they loved it in GREAT detail. Having a niche in general helps, I think, because if you're doing something that isn't super-common or interested in something that isn't super-common, people will be more excited to see it from you or hear you appreciating it from them.
I WILL say there's only a couple DC authors I can currently think of who I generally assume I'll get replies from when I comment on their fic, but I don't know if that's the specific fandom or just that I'm not reading a ton of fic right now and therefore have a smaller pool of authors I'm commenting on. Like, it's hard to tell, honestly. Also DC is a very widespread fandom and pretty old and established, but there's definitely characters and series and canons that just get ignored by huge chunks of it, so if you're into them you either have a real easy time finding people who are excited to talk to you or a real HARD time, depending on where you're looking.
Either way, I think it's really great that you try to leave comments on everything you read and a really good habit for the fandom ecosystem, I know a TON of authors who appreciate getting even, like, a single friggin' emoji or kudos, whether they respond or not. Literally any not-a-hate-comment comment is good for the ecosystem, imo, even when it's not obvious that it is. I very literally once wrote, like, eighty thousand words pretty much just because someone left a very kind comment on an old fic I'd abandoned. I did not actually RESPOND to that comment, as far as I remember; I just changed my mind about abandoning the fic and went through the long-ass process of getting my brain back into it and then the even longer-ass process of writing another 80k over the next few months/year until I got to the end. So like, I VERY much am a person who believes in the value of feeding the ecosystem, hah.
I am largely a call-and-response type of writer myself, so like, getting comments or people talking to me in my replies/asks/messages is basically like somebody is putting tokens in the fic machine and pulling a lever, and we'll all just see if I write three sentences or 80k or secretly tailor a fic towards things a frequent commenter's mentioned appreciating/being into. It's a surprise every time, with me!! And like, that's just how I work, of course, everybody's different, but I have NEVER met anybody who told me they didn't like getting comments.
When I leave comments myself, I tend to feel like more like I'm just telling the author that I think they're on the right track with the thing they're writing, one way or another, and letting them know it got a reaction or feelings or the like out of me, but I'm generally not really expecting a response from them. For actually making friends, I've found MUCH more luck in talking to people on Tumblr and Discord than on AO3. I've made friends on AO3 on and off over the years, but it's just much, MUCH easier for me to do on Tumblr and Discord. Though I kind of have a cheat code there in the sense that I'm a pretty prolific writer and so I've kinda encouraged people to get into the habit of checking my blog pretty frequently or even put alerts on for it, so generally people have a lot of opportunities to talk to me or be reminded I'm around.
I tend to notice people who show up repeatedly in my Tumblr mentions, personally, especially when they talk in the tags or comment in the replies or send me asks, and some of them I've either become friends with or just, like, secretly adopted as secret faves and sometimes sneak little extra treats of Things I Think That One Tumblr Person Would Like into my writing or pick specific WIPs to work on because I think "hey last time I wrote this [ TUMBLR FAVE ] really liked it, I should write more!" (and then I cackle in triumph/delight when they reblog it later, for that is a Victory, mwahaha), but like, it's a process? I definitely feel like making friends in fandom is generally slower than it was once upon a time, but also I'm a Fandom Old so there's been a few migrations and such over my time online too. And also Discord confuses me, hahaha. Discord is VERY confusing to me.
Ummm . . . okay I got INTO that reply, I guess, lol, but I hope that answered your question? Or at least helped answer it, if nothing else!
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lostyesterday · 4 months
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I’ve been particularly interested in analyzing how disability is depicted in Star Trek Voyager recently, so I wanted to make a list of episodes that involve significant representations or themes of disability and neurodivergence:
Phage, Faces, and all the other Vidiian episodes: I’m grouping these together because my opinion on them is similarly negative, both in general and from a disability perspective. Making your alien race scary because they’re visibly scarred and disabled and making that be the root of why they’re immoral is, uh… bad.
Meld: Lon Suder is pretty clearly neurodivergent, though given the fact that he’s a murderer, I don’t think this is necessarily a positive thing. Arguably, what happens to Tuvok in the episode is also disability-adjacent. I have mixed feelings on this episode and its portrayal of violence as innate, especially as that connects to depictions of neurodivergence.
Year of Hell: Not particularly disability-themed, but Tuvok is blind in the episode, and I like the way they portrayed that on the whole even if it’s reversed by the end of the episode. I’ve said this before, but I really like the accommodations Tuvok is shown using like the tactile interface for the computer console, and I really wish Geordi in TNG had been shown to require similar accommodations.
Extreme Risk: This episode intentionally portrays B’Elanna as having depression, and overall I think it’s a well-written episode that does a good job of prioritizing B’Elanna’s own perspective rather than other characters’ perspectives. I do wish B’Elanna’s depression was something that Voyager focused on outside of this episode, but I can hardly blame the one episode that actually focuses on it for its lack of focus elsewhere. I really like this episode personally.
Latent Image: There are a couple EMH episodes I considered including, but this one feels the most disability adjacent in terms of the Doctor’s “malfunction” in the episode (arguably analogous to disability/neurodivergence) and in terms of the discussion of personal autonomy in relation to that. I think this episode brings up some interesting issues and my opinion of it is positive overall.
Riddles: In which Tuvok has a brain injury that affects him both physically and mentally. I really enjoy this episode personally, but my feelings on it in relation to disability are more complicated. Obviously, Tuvok gets suddenly cured at the end of the episode which negates a lot of potentially interesting things an episode like this could do, but at the same time I’m not going to argue a show like Voyager could have done things any differently. The discussions of dependence and recovery in relation to disability here are interesting. In general, I like how Tuvok has a fair amount of agency in the story and that he primarily isn’t infantilized. I do wish the episode focused a bit more on Tuvok’s perspective over Neelix’s.
Pathfinder: Barclay is pretty clearly neurodivergent, and I like the concept of his character in theory. In practice, I wish that many episodes he’s in didn’t use his social anxiety to excuse him being an asshole, especially when the same courtesy isn’t extended to female characters and characters of color (for example, B’Elanna Torres). This episode wasn’t as bad (or sexist) as some of the TNG episodes he’s in, but still.
Good Sheppherd: Arguably all three main characters in the episode are coded as neurodivergent. The “every person adds value to the team regardless of how weird they are” message of this episode fell a bit flat for me, and the root issues related to disability/neurodivergence aren’t explored to an extent I found satisfying. I’m not going to call it a bad episode, though – it’s okay.
Fury: This one I am going to call a bad episode. Definitely one of my least favorite episodes of Voyager, but technically older Kes is depicted as disabled. I hate everything about this episode, especially the way it depicts disability as affecting Kes.
Repentance: I also dislike this episode. It has similar (but worse) problems to Meld in terms of treating tendency toward violence as innate and denying that neurodivergent people are capable of having any autonomy/control over their actions.
Many Seven/Borg episodes, particularly The Gift, One, Infinite Regress, The Voyager Conspiracy, and Imperfection: I’ve talked extensively about my disability-related thoughts on Seven and the Borg so I’m not going to list these episodes separately.
If anyone else has any thoughts on any of these episodes or suggestions of other episodes that belong on this list that I didn’t include, I’d love to hear about it!
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femmefatalevibe · 1 year
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Hi Femme 🤍
I have been following your blog for a really long time now but i never actually asked you anything. I enjoy reading your answers to the people that are in need of your advice just as i am right now.
I start my first ever job next week! it involves working with the public, and i am actually pretty shy. I chose this job because i am sick of people seeing me as a shy girl. I want to leave this side of me in the past, but i don’t know what to do in order to make myself look more confident in myself.
I have also this other problem 😭 I am 22 years old Woman but due to my features, in other’s peoples eye i look too young and some of them don’t really look at me like an adult. I even use make up to make me look older, but it doesn’t work. And due to this people never take me seriously… they think i’m easygoing when i’m actually not.
How do i make myself look Mature and Confident in myself?
Once I get an answer from you i’ll make sure to follow your advices and update you.🤍
🪽🤍
Hi love! Thank you so much for your long-term love and support. I truly appreciate it <3
Congrats on the new (first) job! It sounds like you're going to grow a lot as a person in this next chapter of your career/life. I recommend checking out the guides linked below:
How To Build Unshakeable Self-Confidence
How To Reduce Social Anxiety To Boost Your Confidence, Make Friends, & Become Magnetic
Communication Playbook
Ways To Appear More Mature & Embrace Your Sensual Side
Hope this helps xx
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gothamsaved · 6 months
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` * PERMANENT INTERACTION CALL.
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To keep this as short as I can — as someone with bad anxiety but a stronger want to start poking Mutuals more, I figured putting something like this out there helps a ton to know who is alright with me being a friendly pest. It’s meant to reassure me people are alright with me kicking their doors in with my muses.
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` * INTERACTING WITH THIS POST LETS ME KNOW YOU’RE OKAY WITH THE FOLLOWING …
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↳ You’re alright with me sending you *Askmemes as soon as I see they’ve been reblogged along with sending the occasional *Unprompted Ask or *Surprise Short Starter. Sometimes they’ll just be Bruce commenting on ongoing threads — think dash-commentary style. Others are just *IC / OOC Questions. Basically this just gives me permission to be a menace to your inbox without feeling guilty.
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↳ You’re alright with me replying to any *Open Starters I spot, even if we already have one or more threads ongoing. Just a heads up I will aim to keep these short since they’re usually spontaneous threads done for fun. If they happen to get longer? I’m here for it!
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↳ You’re alright with me tagging you in *Dashgames when I do come across them. Along with tag you in *Musings, Aesthetics &&. *Muse Song Posts if they remind me of your muse &&. our interactions.
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↳ Piggy backing off the last point, there are no promises made, but if it’s alright that I make the occasional *Edit through *Gifsets of your muse or our muses dynamic, *Aesthetic Edit Posts or *Web Weavings. Even the occasional *Drawing / Doodle. Chances are, if I’m inspired or invested enough &&. have the time to spare, I do enjoy doing these for close Mutuals!
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↳ You’re alright with me making *Headcanon Posts as our muses dynamics develop through ongoing interactions. This is a recent thing I’m trying to start doing more of, where I make headcanon *Directories for muses on my end to better keep track &&. document HC’s. I heavily value developing bonds between me &&. my writing partners muses so if it is alright with Mutuals that their muse is *mentioned in posts like this?
Please let me know in a comment or DMs! Usually I will ask permission to write these out beforehand.
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↳ You’re alright with me giving you my *Discord so we can talk more OOC to chat or to discuss ideas &&. our current threads / plot possible future ones. I struggle with this, but I would really love to discuss headcanons more when they crop up, along with just getting more used to screeching to partners about how much I loved recent replies. Just a warning is I am a little shy &&. my social battery can vary between extra outgoing to having no energy to respond back, so as long as that’s alright! I am making grabby hands!
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* Please note that interacting with this post also gives you permission to do any of these things right back. If you want me to do only some of these things but not others, please, feel free to comment in the notes or let me know in private.
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↳ Lastly, if you have yet to fill out my *Interest Tracker — I highly urge you to so I know how best to approach you in the future along with what dynamics you’re interested in pursuing! It’s not mandatory but it helps so so much.
The purpose of this post is simply meant to reassure that there is a shared interest in interacting more in the future, mainly for my own anxiety since I do struggle a lot with pushing myself to poke new folks without feeling like I’m being a bit of a bother. It’s usually why I rely heavily on starter calls &&. inbox calls so I have that known permission to toss my muses people’s way.
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ssruis · 1 month
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Recommending this again bc its got updates. & also because I’m obsessed. It’s so good… go read…
Leaving my full comment here as well bc ao3 called me out for my immensely wordy method of commenting so. Y’know. Spoilers. Go read first.
Nene tucks her bag and coat under one of the seats in the stalls, then tries to find a person who doesn’t look terrifying to speak to so she can ask what they need help with. She barely recognises most of them, having not properly met with any other tech crew since the first rehearsal. Well- maybe if she just…stands here, someone will ask-
HELP… I love her so much. Nene Kusanagi. the most girl of all time.
“It’s so interesting learning about how much there is going on backstage! I guess I never really thought about it before…” Minori leans back to grab more paint, leaving another handprint on her leggings as she does. Should Nene say something…? “I bet the cast work really hard too! Having to sing and dance whilst smiling and acting the whole time too…that’s something I really want to learn!”
yayyy minori she’s so cute :) meeting of the fail girls. I love how you’ve worked in so many of the other pjsk characters in a way that feels very organic (instead of just random roles) and gives them a little spotlight even if they’re not the focus. You can tell there’s so much love and care put into everyone’s characterization.
I…have to be proud of the person I am now, if I want to be proud of the person I’m going to be.”
Wait, what is she saying? That’s not- that’s not something she came up with-
Somewhere tsukasa just got a huge ego boost. Thank god he’s not here he would be so insufferable.
He always speaks to her like a worried parent…the message might as well read ‘did you make lots of friends at your first day of school?’.
So real… he’s so annoying… Rui acting like that despite being like one year older than nene will never not be funny.
“I am about to fall over!” Tsukasa yells back breathlessly, hunching over once the piano stops.
“If you have the air to complain, you have the air to hold that last note!”
Insert the “I’ve hired a tyrannical director” tsukasa quote.
“Right? You’ll be fine.” Rui watches as A bends down to check on Tsukasa, lightly patting his shoulder. “We’re almost there.”
Tsukasa has died (cheering) (end story)
“Maybe!” Rui shrugs. “Honestly, I wasn’t completely sure at first, but I’m glad my intuition was correct. Seems like the star quality runs in the family, after all.”
“...I think you’re right,” Nene says quietly.
Nene and tsukasa relationship progression… smiles…
“N-no…” No, don’t remember me from auditions. Actually, please just forget my entire existence-
“Hopefully you make it next time, if that’s what you wanna do!” An says. “A little bit of confidence goes a long way, y’know? And you can always fake it if you’re not sure!”
she’s so funny I loved this part. The nene & an dynamic of girl with horrible social anxiety and girl who is so so cool but also so so excited to get to know everyone will never not be funny.
“Nene, your outfit looks so cute!”
But apparently there’s always one person who manages to find her. Nene looks up from her phone, Emu already barreling over to her. So long as she keeps away from the very heavy, very expensive lighting equipment, they’re fine.
The return of the pink thing… (The crowd goes wild)
Probably because you never sit still, Nene thinks. Especially right now. If Nene is rattling from nerves, Emu looks about to burst with excitement. It must be nice to be immune to any and all fear.
“I hope everyone is gonna enjoy the show tonight!” she says, smile bright even in the dark. “I bet it’s gonna be super wow wow yay yay woo woo!”
1 so true getting that thing to sit still is a losing battle 2 I love how you write her dialogue so much… perfectly straddles the line between her very silly onomatopoeia laden moments and her more serious moments.
“Every time I see the light I’m gonna know it’s you and get super super smiley!”
:) I care them
Nene repositions the light towards the stage, casting the bright circle over Tsukasa. He instantly looks up then recoils at the light, squinting up at them.
“Oi, what’re you doing! That’s bright!”
“Hi Tsukasa!” Emu calls back, waving. “You look super shiny shiny sparkly bright!”
“Oh, really?” His angry face quickly swaps to flattery, and he poses accordingly. Nene turns the light off. “Hey, put it back on!”
I laughed he’s so funny. Anytime Tsukasa gets irritated or upset (or completely unreasonably hesitant about a perfectly safe sane and normal stunt that is definitely necessary for the show) you can just redirect him with flattery. Works every time.
“Are you curious about the hair ties?” she asks. “We’re wearing them in mutual support with Saki, since she can’t be here tonight. She has one too! It’s cute, isn’t it?”
“Y-yeah,” Nene says. “Is she, um…recovering okay…?”
“I believe so! According to Tsukasa, she should be out in a few days.” Honami laughs. “She really wants to attend closing night…she keeps talking about it non-stop.”
“I was worried talking about it would make her sad, but she seems more excited than anyone else,” Ichika adds. “It’s a really great thing we didn’t have to cancel the show. It would make her really happy to be able to catch our last performance.”
“She should focus on getting better first,” Shiho says, not taking her eyes off her bass. The other two just smile and shrug. 
"Let's hope Saki can join us soon," the tall pianist says. Crap, Nene can't remember his name- Aoyagi? Nene isn’t sure what their relationship is, though he has a scrunchie tucked into his shirt pocket too. "She cares about this performance very much."
THATS SO CUTE… I love how well the L/N interactions are written. Shiho & her concern that comes off as uncaring when it’s anything but… also toya with the scrunchie too awww…
Nene stares. “What part of this is fun…?” 
“You’re all part of the team, so you all have to join in,” Rui says, and Nene groans, trudging out the pit with the others. It’s fine, if she just hides at the back, maybe she can get away with half-effort… “Here, Nene. You can stand next to me!”
Bastard. Nene jogs alongside Rui, ignoring his pleased expression.
Making a gamer exercise. Rui truly is a bastard.
“So this is what the life of a stage actor is like…” Aoyagi muses from up in front, hands barely stretching past his knees.
I giggled. Truly built like a wet paper bag, that one.
“Something like this is easy for me!” Tsukasa says, still looking strong with his hands planted on his hips. If Nene had more energy, she would stab him right now. “I’m not tired at all!”
And so he lives another day. It’s ok nene. there will be other opportunities.
“Um, no, I think you need to stay with the rest of the cast…” Nene says, aware that the company is mostly split into their separate groups. Surely she’s not supposed to stand alongside the actual important people, like the director, the lead, the important actors…even if it seems like they…want her there?
OUUGH you get it… You Get It… nene is so so loved but her anxiety ridden saw trap of a mind makes that so difficult for her to see.
“Absolutely…”
“Huh?” That’s not what she’d…
“Not!” Tsukasa finishes, holding his head up high. Nene quickly hides any and all concern.
“Makes sense an idiot like you would be stupid to get nervous. I didn’t care anyway.”
HELP…. ‘I didn’t care anyway. Idiot.’ I love how you write them so much.
It’s too soon…she needs Emu to cling to her arm and say stupid stuff so that it doesn’t feel so real-
Obsessed. I know what you are nene.
nene & tsukasa scene
I’m so happy this fic exists all the time but esp during the nene & tsukasa interactions they are so fascinating to me and you write them so well… nene telling tsukasa he’s overthinking it is so funny. I liked the little moment of him having a moment abt whether or not to send saki the pictures it reflects their whole dynamic so well. And him getting the text from saki and going SAKIII 🥺😭 was so cute.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you down here, Nene,” Rui says, and the way his eyes glint with just a little pride make her want to curl up and avoid everyone ever for the next ten hours. She settles for just crossing her arms.
Hes so annoying… I love how you’ve written their dynamic…
“But wow, the others really did a good job with you, Tsukasa,” Rui says, studying Tsukasa appreciatively. “You really look professional. And the hairstyle is very cute.”
“Cute?” Tsukasa narrows his eyes. “I’m not cute! I’m cool! Cool!”
“Yes, yes. Very cool!”
“Hm, that’s right.” Tsukasa flicks a strand of hair back, grinning to himself. “I’m so cool.”
Yuck (said fondly)
“Yes, I think you’ll do well tonight,” Rui says, taking a seat on the table at the side. Can’t he sit on a chair like a normal person?
I grinned at that. I love all the little details you put in your writing like Rui’s passion for sitting like A Weirdo… it’s like putting treats in an enrichment toy for people who are insane about these characters (me) to giggle at.
“You really know the script inside out by this point.”
“Of course I do,” Tsukasa says. “Especially after last night when you made me recite lines whilst throwing goldfish crackers at me…”
“What the hell was that for?” Nene asks Rui. 
“It was just really fun!” he says.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with you…”
“Don’t worry, we didn’t study too hard last night,” Rui says. “We even watched the original movie to help keep the atmosphere. It’s important to have fun sometimes.”
“Fun for you! You were still throwing stuff at me even then!”
“Well, a good actor needs to be prepared for the unexpected…”
they’re so funny. I can’t keep saying “I love how you write x dynamic” because it’s true for literally every dynamic in this fic…
Emu gasps, jumping back. “Oh, sorry, I mean, um- break your legs, Nene and Rui!”
“No, it sounds kind of terrifying when you say it like that…” Tsukasa mutters.
Emu and inventing entirely new sayings. She’s doing her best <3
Kind of amazing that any guy can sound so sincere singing about love whilst wearing knee-high boots and beaded booty shorts, but.
HELP MEEEE… He really will do anything for a show won’t he.
Nene wishes she could be down there too. More than ever before. To be part of something. To be alongside others. The way Tsukasa gives it his all and shines…Nene wants to try that too. There's a fire down there burning so strong that its sparks are lighting her too. 
YESS I loved this part I love the acknowledgement of her competitiveness & “I want to do better I want to be on stage” attitude, and how that drives and motivates her
“I thought so too! They didn’t seem to think it was weird at all. Even my mom said she liked it, but I think she just likes the idea of two guys dating…”
new favorite side character: Fujoshi mom
“O-oh, um, I’m…um…” Nene fumbles for the words. Well, obviously, she took off her tech stuff so they don’t recognise her…and, actually, thinking about it, it’s not like they would let her sit at the table full of cast members anyway. They’re the important ones. Not Nene. Heat rises to her face as she takes a step back, because, seriously, what had she even been thinking, deciding to sit with everyone else like this-
“Nene’s a part of our team!” Tsukasa’s voice thunders out from behind her, and Nene jumps, turning to them. “Of course she can sit here!”
“Yeah, Nene is super important!” Emu adds, jumping up to grab Nene’s arm. “Wiithout Nene we would all be completely in the dark and the audience would just be looking at nothing for two hours!”
WxS is actually a theatre troupe second and a nene hype squad first.
“Wait, Emu!” Tsukasa holds up a hand. “Next time, can you try not kicking me whilst we’re in the Irish dance line?”
“Huh, I kicked you?”
“Oh, I thought I saw that,” Rui says.
“And you’re still telling her to do things the same tomorrow!?”
“Sorry, Tsukasa!” Emu bows. “Next time I’ll try not to kick you so hard.”
“Don’t kick me at all!” Tsukasa sighs, recollecting himself.
Writing group dialogue - esp for a visual novel that relies solely on dialogue and can rely on visuals instead of writing “x said” “y said” - is such a challenge and you do it so well… you can always tell who’s speaking and it flows so nicely…
“I’ll tell Ena and Mizuki not to be too rough tomorrow,” Rui says, then his face turns coy. “I do think that bunny suit looked good on you, Tsukasa.”
(Spraying Rui with water) inside thoughts! Inside thoughts!!!
“That’s my dream role,” Emu says, almost shyly.
“Hm? You want to be Cinderella?”
“I wanna be the cow,” Emu says dreamily.
“The cow-?” Tsukasa chokes. “That’s not even a human role!”
Emu’s face falls. “But I wanna be the cow…” 
“Don’t crush Emu’s dreams, Tsukasa,” Nene says.
“It’s not even a speaking role! It’s just a model of a cow on wheels!”
“Tsukasa, we have to be kind to our fellow company members,” Rui says. “I believe in you, Emu!”
Everyone ganging up on tsukasa… you love to see it. My experience with theatre is rather limited, (in that I attended the shows my sister was in, and took photos during their dress rehearsals), but I will say that when my high school put on into the woods we actually had a girl (not my sister, she was the bakers wife) be the cow. The girl actually requested it… she wanted to be the cow... That costume was terrifying. All that to say: I believe in you emu.
“Yeah, after the past two weeks I can see that…” Tsukasa says. Nene is sure she can almost see the trauma in his eyes. Rui tilts his head, suddenly forlorn.
“How can you say that, Tsukasa…? I’ve always been so considerate to your needs. When have I ever done something mean to you?”
“You made me stand on one leg for an entire rehearsal once!”
“To improve your balance and muscle strength-”
They are so irritating.
“Maybe we should consider that for a future show?” Rui says, and Nene suddenly realises something momentous. They’re talking to her because they want to. They’re talking to her because they see her as a friend. And they’re all here because they love theatre and they love putting on shows, and Nene is the same. She loves it too. She belongs here. They’re her friends, too. 
I love this part so so much… nene realizing she belongs… I feel like her own hang ups about having friends goes unnoticed by a lot of people in favor of rui’s (which, to be fair, his are a little more blatant). it’s so nice to see a fic that examines nene & her realizing she’s a part of the group and that they all love her.
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shytastemakerthing · 2 months
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Hello ! I hope you are fine ! 🙂
I have a request for a romantic matchup with a character from Twisted Wonderland.
Sorry if I made mistakes, i’m French ! (It's long because I write too much, sorry lol)
 I am a Cancer and INFJ (4W5) girl. I’m average height (160 cm), I have long wavy brown hair with a fringe haircut and green eyes. I love to wear dresses but because of my lack of self-confidence I don’t do it as much as I would like. I am a big fan of gothic and steampunk clothes but same, I don’t wear it as much as I would like. 
I am really shy, introverted, I lack self-confidence and I often depreciate myself. But I try my best to make friends and have social interactions. I am also hypersensitive and very touchy. I have a depressed side and I suffer from anxiety. My friends told me that I’m stubborn and I know that I am a very jealous person. I have a lot of empathy and compassion. I am a dedicated, faithful, persevering, perfectionist  and passionate person. I am hardworking and dedicated a lot of time to my studies.
I try to be the most supportive I can with my friends but I don’t confess easily what I feel or think, and I don’t talk a lot in a group (sometimes not at all). If someone hurts me, even unintentionally, I can’t tell it to the person. I am resentful but don’t show it, so people don’t know if they hurted me or not and why. I suffered from school harassment and because of this I always want to please everyone and I find it hard to say “no”. My lack of self confidence comes from there.
I love and I am passionate about a looooot of things ! Like Japan, old Egypt, old Scandinavia, animals (I am passionate about wolves, and I have been riding horses for 14 years),fantasy worlds, geek culture, writing, reading books / mangas and watching animes / movies, and playing video games (almost only Pokemon). And  I’m a dragon lover (One of my favorite TV show is Game Of Thrones and House of Dragons). I love art, mythology, esotericism (I love playing with Oracles, Tarots, Runes and learn about paganism), ancient history, listening to music (I listen to a lot of music everyday), and going out to visit museums, castles, cultural places, and walk in forests or beaches, etc. (and I love many other things lol !). I love a lot of languages (I learned Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, English and Latin and want to learn Norwegian and old norse). 
I have never been in a relationship but I think I am a romantic, affectionate and attentive person and dedicated to my loved one. I’m the type of person who wants to have the same partner all their life. I know I constantly need reassurance because of my lack of self-confidence. I am not a tactile person but I think I can be very tactile with a partner. I want someone who understands and respects me, and who loves the same things as me.
I think I gave maaaaaany informations, OMG !
Take care ! :)
A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I hope that you enjoy it! Have a wonderful day!
Request: Twisted Wonderland Match-up
I match you with........
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Idia Shroud
He can fully relate to being more shy and introverted, seeking to be further away from people, he basically lives in his room for crying out loud
And often only attends classes via the floating tablet
....... would you like one?
He would totally make you one. It's not hard. Child's play for someone like him
So, it certainly took a little bit of time to get into a relationship with him. He isn't out of his room long enough and flees at the first sign of someone coming to him
But once you are in, you're in
With the help of Ortho, of course
He often questions how and why you ended up with someone like him, but the reassurance is always there
He has also never been in a relationship before so it is a time for you both to learn together
Late night binge watching of the favorite shows. Perhaps he would love some of the favorites that you have. Snacks, blankets, and anything else that is needed
Maybe.... maybe you can get him to go into the forests with you or visiting an old castle, that last one sounds pretty cool to him, just so long as there isn't so many people, maybe he could find a way to make sure it was only the two of you
Just so long as the both of you are together, there really isn't anything that you can't face
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Thank you for your request!
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gotta-pet-em-all · 23 days
Text
[Audio begins. There are a few moments of silence, before Fluff says, “Am I interrupting something?”
“No, not really. Oh, are those pokepuffs?”
“Mm. I figured I’d bring some over for you, here.”
“What, ‘cause you’re afraid you’ll get rejected if you don’t bring food to people?” Rei asks wryly. 
“….do you want them or not. Also, fuck off, having social anxiety sucks.” Fluff definitely doesn’t sound happy about being read for filth like that. 
“Ah, sorry. My social skills have, uh. Declined.” Rei doesn’t sound especially sorry. “You’re here to ask me about Hisui, right? Are you the short blonde’s lab partner?”
“Something like that.” She doesn’t elaborate. “More about the people who came with you from Hisui.”
“Well, the other guy took a train home. I don’t know a lot about the Miss Fortune sisters; they’re a sort of found family. They… despite being from Hisui, they weren’t as suited for it as me.”
“You enjoyed being in Hisui? Why?”
“It was thrilling,” Rei says quietly. “I had a divine patron who wanted me to do research. They’d been… well, Giratina’s banishment meant Arceus was separated from the world for a long time as well. And they wanted to understand how the land was faring. So I surveyed for them. We learned about Hisui together. I never got hurt too bad; if I lost enough blood to get worried, there would be this golden light and I’d wake up in the infirmary.”
“You weren’t worried about going home?”
“I’m seventeen, you know,” Rei says wryly. “Without going into too much detail, I had a mental health scare as a kid. Bipolar, and bad. It took a while for my parents to let me go on my journey, and when I did, I felt… alienated, like the world was too small. But Hisui? It was amazing. It was a dream. I wanted to stay and help these people. Until I didn’t.”
“So, about Volo… you guys don’t get along?”
“That’s personal,” Rei says bluntly.
Fluff gives a small cough. “They broke out of quarantine rather than stay with you.”
“...we have history.”
There is a brief mental calculation of ages and likelihood of romance. “So, you guys weren’t— or, rather, you didn’t have any—”
“There was absolutely no situationship or unrequited romantic feelings going on.” Rei sighs. “Frankly, I… don’t know how to explain it. But they’ve been nothing but polite and accommodating here, so I don’t think it’s right for me to go spreading rumors that don’t matter anymore. Why do you want to know so bad, anyways?”
“I visited them, and just…” Her voice sounds a little choked up. “I was uh. Quite literally raised under a rock. Like, very deficient in vitamin D. So I had a lot of trouble adjusting to the real world. I guess I can relate?”
“Wait, what.”
“What part needs clarification here.”
“The— raised under a rock???”
“Underground cult, but I try not to tell people that when I’ve first met them because I’m trying to break the traumadumping habit, actually.” She sniffles. “Fuck, I’m going to have to wash my hoodie. Point is. Uh. Ah, where was I even going with this. Is it really that weird that I want to help? I want to believe the best in them.”
“The Miss Fortunes frequently tried to mug me, you know.”
“Yeah, you’re not special,” she mutters under her breath. Then, louder, “Sometimes people trapped in a bad place do fucked up shit to survive. Don’t they deserve redemption too?”
“Maybe. I just don’t have any interest in it. I’m not going to stop you, but I’m not going to help. I’ve done my part, and frankly, I’m a little sick of getting betrayed.” His voice is tight. “Volo likes places with history and places with shade and running water. Check the ruins and the little meadow north of the gnarled oak tree. And don’t ask me about them again. However much of their friendship was real, it’s over now. All of it.”
Recording ends.]
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idekforfun · 1 year
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Comfort ... JJk
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Summary: After scoring an invite to JHope's album release party, Yazmine isn't expecting anything more than to stick to the sidelines and enjoy the free drinks and music. Little did she know what her ever growing relationship with the rapper would lead her to.
Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x OC
Genre: Fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers, ongoing series
Word count: 2.7k
...
The only thing I am able to think of as my eyes scatter across the room of popular faces is "the amount of talent in this room is enough to swallow me whole". I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and I can't seem to remember how I was ever able to suppress it. I'm finding it increasingly hard to hide behind my extrovert persona, the one that is a lie, a huge lie in fact.
 I realized I had been lost in my head when the sound of loud clapping brought me back to the real world. I barely catch the very end of Hoseok's speech, something along the lines of "Thank you for supporting me", and "enjoy the food and music" then he gives a bow and walks down the stairs where he is immediately pulled into conversation. Oh, I can't even imagine the anxiety he must be feeling. I could simply stick to a corner and hide in the shadows, whereas he has to socialize with everyone out of obligation.
Socializing. For some reason I forgot that I'd have to do that. I've been able to avoid it thus-far having arrived minutes before the actual album started playing. Now, everywhere I looked someone was talking to someone else. I realized I couldn't just stand here alone forever. I examine the room for someone I know, even better someone I have interviewed because I'll take any familiarity I can at this point. This whole ordeal is making me question my job because how am I able to meet celebrities on the daily, and here I am stressing about having to socialize at a party.
I was too in my head again, so I didn't realize someone had been calling my name until I felt a few taps on my shoulder. When I turn around, I was met with no other than Jessi, thank god. We have met on more than one occasion, and she has a weird ability of making people extremely comfortable, something I am immensely thankful for right now.
"Yaz!" She pulls me into a hug. It actually does well to soothe me. "I didn't know you were coming."
"I didn't know either," I pulled back from the hug with a gentle smile. "Actually, I was kind of surprised."
"Why, are you and J-hope not close?" she questioned.
"I mean, I had him on the show and we got on really well. We've also messaged a lot, too." I know I sound hesitant speaking, as if I'm not sure of the words I am saying. It is kind of hard to believe that Hoseok would want a friendship with me of all people, let alone be close.
"Oh, he definitely adores you, we even talked about you once," she has a sparkle in her eye as she talks and for some reason, I feel obliged to believe her. "Also, he was one of the best episodes on your show by far."
She is right about that. It has been my most viewed interview by a pretty wide margin. Part of me knows it’s due to the fact that he is J-hope of BTS, obviously, but it was also such a good video. All my interviews follow a simple formula. I bring the guest on and we engage in whatever activity they enjoy, in Hoseok’s case dancing. It brings a different level of intimacy that you can’t get from simply sitting across from one another and reading questions from a card. The conversation always flows naturally, and it’s all so genuine. On top of that, even I can admit that Hoseok and I just clicked. Our personalities complimented each other well. So much that we even continued to develop our relationship through messaging, and now I am attending his album release party which is a very important step in his solo career. Maybe we are closer than I allowed myself to believe.
“Yeah, it was pretty great actually.” I could see her eyes light up at my slight self-indulgence. Maybe I should give myself more credit.
We both turn our heads at the call of Jessi’s name from across the room. She gives me another smile and hug and tells me that she’ll find me later. I am left alone again but it’s not as bad as before. The anxiety has decreased significantly, which made my apparent hunger more noticeable. Hoseok did say to enjoy the food so I might as well. The snack table was filled with delicious finger food. As I was reaching my hand to grab a bite of some expensive looking cheese on a toothpick someone called my name. I turned around to find none other than Hoseok’s bright smile.
“So, I see you made it!” He pulled me into a hug. Not the ‘barely touch you because this is a little uncomfortable hug”, but a “I feel like we’ve known each other for years hug’.
“Hoseok, you’re incredible. The album is amazing, the release party is amazing, your outfit is amazing!” We pulled away from the hug and I could see a feint blush on his cheeks hidden well in the dimly lit room. “I’m serious, you may be the coolest person I know.”
“Yahhh, you’re boosting my ego too much.” He said while smiling shyly.
“You also may be the humblest person I know so I actually don’t think that is possible.” He smiled at me again and I swear I saw a glimpse of the actual sun in him.
“Do you know anyone here?”
“A few people, mostly through the grapevine.” He could sense my hesitancy right away, I could tell.          
“Come, I’ll introduce you to my friends.” He said as he gestured to the general direction behind him where his so-called friends were. Knowing him, his friends could be some ultra-famous idols that have better things to do than interacting with me. I could slowly feel the anxiety creep back up my spine, and my heartbeat slowly increased.
“I don’t really want to be a bother,” he looked down at me with squinted eyes and a tilted head. “I promise it’s okay, I like being alone and these appetizers are calling my name.”
He chuckled at me in disbelief, as if that was an insane thing to say in a room full of celebrities. I guess you could say a part of me is forgetting that they are just normal people too, so I shouldn’t be feeling this intimidated by them. At the same time, I’ve seen celebrities get starstruck over other celebrities, so they really aren’t just normal people and I am going to tell myself that my feelings are valid.
“C’mon, you’re never a bother. You’re my friend and I want my friends to meet you” he said reassuringly. I guess that answers my earlier internal debate. After 2 seconds of contemplation, I let myself believe him, and I signaled for him to lead the way. He lit up and tugged on my wrist so I could follow him.
I don’t know who I was expecting him to introduce me to, but for some reason his members stupidly did not come to mind. Three of the seven members of BTS were sitting on the stage together, and their heads all turned to Hoseok and I as we approached them. Despite all my inner turmoil, I take pride in my ability to pretend that I am confident and unfazed by everything. That is how I’ve done so well in my career while dealing with anxiety, but as the three idols studied us as we approached them, I could tell that mainting my persona would be more difficult than usual. I know them of course, because who doesn’t these days, but seeing them in person simply beats videos and pictures. They really were beautiful men.
“Yazmine this is Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. Guys this is Yazmine.” Hoseok introduced while gesturing to each of them.
“Hi guys its so great to meet you.” I said with a smile. Jungkook and Taehyung who were sitting raised themselves up to give me a bow as well as Jimin who was already standing as I shook my hands at them. “Oh! there’s no need for that we can be casual.”
“Sorry, it’s a habit,” Jimin said with a smile. “After all these years it feels kind of strange not to be formal.”
“That’s how I feel except opposite. Getting used to being formal was a challenge and I sometimes still forget the strict customs.” I explained.
“Sorry if this comes across as rude but you’re not Korean? You’re Korean is really good!” Taehyung questioned.
“It’s not rude at all! I am half Korean from my mom and my dad is middle eastern,” as I was explaining, someone summoned Hoseok over to them and he gave my arm a firm squeeze in parting as he nodded to his members insinuating his departure. “I was raised in the US till age 12 and I’ve been back and forth since then.” I explained as they nodded in understanding. It was endearing how intently they were listening to me, and for some reason I felt oddly at ease with the three. My eyes wandered over to Jungkook’s as I finished my explanation, and as they met he quicky looked away.
“Your interview with Hobi Hyung was amazing by the way,” Jimin said. In the moment I don’t think I even processed that Park Jimin watches my show, I’d have to do that later. “The idea is so new and exciting. I hope that you’ll invite me once I start my solo schedule.” There was a sly smirk on his face. I wondered if it would be inappropriate to tell him I would probably jump off a bus if he asked me to, but I decided to keep that to myself in the end.
“I’ll see what I could do.” I joked back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone new approaching us and I turned my head to find Seokjin. I was now surrounded by four members of the group and I am surprised I’ve held my composure for this long.
“Hello,” he says timidly with a subtle bow. “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say bye to these three. I’m Jin.”
Just when I thought these men couldn’t get any better, he introduces himself as if I wouldn’t already know who he is. I gave a bow back and smiled at his humility, “I’m Yazmine, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Hey Jungkook, this must be exciting for you.” At the mention of the youngest members name, I turned to look at him and caught his wide eyes and small headshake towards Jin that I was clearly not meant to see as his eyes shifted to me. “He loves your videos. One time he made me watch three episodes of your trying new things series.”
“Hyung!” Jungkook cried out. Obviously I was not supposed to be filled in on this information, but my heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster at this new discovery.
“Oh, did he now?” I questioned with a smirk. Jungkook’s face twinged a subtle pink that was barely noticeable in the dimly lit room, but noticeable, nonetheless.
“Oh yeah, Jungkookie is always sending us clips from your videos,” Jimin teased. Taehyung started nodding his head enthusiastically and decided he also wanted to join in on teasing the youngest.
“You should have seen his reaction when he found out Hobi Hyung was making an appearance, he was so jeal-”
            “Okay that’s enough.” Jungkook interrupted with an annoyed expression. Despite how much I was enjoying this, I also felt a little bad for him, and I’m sure he’s been at the center of their teasing all these years.
            “Well, I really appreciate the support, and it means a lot coming from you especially.” I reassured him. He gave me a shy small in return.
            “Well it was nice to meet you Yazmine, I am sure we’ll run into each other again,” Jin said with a warm smile. “Before I leave Hobi wants a picture with all of us.” He said while gesturing to the other members. They all nodded in agreement.
            As they all turned to follow Jin, Jimin turned to me and nudged my arm with his. “Don’t go too far, we’ll be back soon.”
“I’ll be here.” I reassured. I definitely wasn’t comfortable enough to talk with anyone else here, and their welcoming energy was definitely more than enough for me. Jimin and Taehyung followed Jin, while I noticed Jungkook lingering a bit. I could tell he had something on his mind that he wanted to say.
            “Isn’t it a bit early for Jin to be leaving?” I questioned. This was my best attempt at making him comfortable enough to tell me what was on his mind.
            “This isn’t really Jin Hyungs scene, he doesn’t really know many people and he gets nervous meeting them too.” Jungkook explained. I almost did not catch the end of what he was saying because I was too distracted by his eyes. They really do sparkle just like everyone says.
            “Wow, if that’s how Jin feels then I really am hopeless.” I said in shock. If a literal bts member was having trouble socializing, I was doomed.
            “Not completely hopeless, you have us now.” He said with the most endearing smile I have ever seen. There was also something about how he said “You have us now”, as if he was insinuating that I would be in their lives longer than just a casual conversation at a party. I know it’s probably my delusion speaking, but it’s a nice thought to comfort me.  “By the way I really do enjoy your videos a lot. I guess it’s kinda embarrassingly obvious now that I am a fan.” He said with a little more confidence while referring to the teasing from his Hyungs.
            “If it makes you feel better, I have 3 older brothers, so I know how it feels. Also, I am slightly embarrassed because of how many stupid things you’ve probably seen me do. It’s actually all coming back now.” I laughed. I started internally second guessing every decision I made for my videos because Jeon fucking Jungkook watches them, and I pray that he has not seen the bird calling video.
            “What, like the bird calling video?” He says with a chuckle. This is not happening right now.
            “I am actually going to ignore what you just said for mental health reasons.” He lets out a boyish laugh at that and I swear I’ve never heard something more adorable in my life. I would honestly embarrass myself 100 times over if it meant that I could make him laugh.
            We both turn our heads at the call of his name and see the members waving him over for the pictures.
            “I’m sorry I don’t want to leave you alone…” He says hesitantly.
            “No, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll just be here trying not to embarrass myself.”
            “I won’t take long so we can be embarrassing together.” He said in a teasing tone. My eyes couldn’t help but widen. I’m either crazy, or he just flirted with me. I could hear his giggle as he turned to walk away while I stood there stunned. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I watched him join the others. Seeing them interact with each other was so special. They looked so happy and comfortable. It was hard not to be slightly envious of their relationship. I can’t remember the last time I had a connection like that with someone, and I could tell it was rare. My eyes naturally wander over to Jungkook as he wrapped his arm around Hoseok. I could see his eyes glistening even from here with joy and contempt. His eyes meet mine and I find myself unable to look away even though I know I’ve been caught staring. His eyes crinkle at the corners as we look at each other, waiting to see who will break eye contact first. My gaze wanders across his nose and cheeks as my face heats up. I force my eyes to meet his one final time and I turn away with a light feeling looming over me.
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theshortolivia · 4 months
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Get to Know me tag :)
Was tagged for a get to know me tag game by @deerlisteners and these are fun so thought I’d do it for the like two people who will see it, even though, they are both childhood friends and know all this…
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yeah! My moms named me after the character Olivia Benson from law and order because she was a ‘strong independent woman’ like they wanted me to be and they also both had a crush on her/the actress who plays her. Bonus fact I’m p sure if I’d been born male they woulda named me Josiah
2. When was the last time you cried?
Uhhh, I got emotional and ALMOST cried at the ‘shoe scene’ (can’t be any more specific cause Huge spoilers) when rewatching Jojo Rabbit, I DID cry when I saw it in theatres and I HIGHLY recommend it as a comedy satire but also a harrowing reminder of history we should never forget (and for taika waititi of course). Um last time I actually cried I don’t remember cause recently my mental health has been depression apathy and not anxiety tears but it was Probably out of frustration at my chronic illness limiting what I can do, not a fun anecdote unfortunately but sometimes it be like that
3. Do you have kids?
I do not and I don’t plan on having any anytime soon for economic, chronic illness, and age reasons (I’m 22 lol I am Not settled in life I don’t even live alone). I would like to have kids when I’m older and more settled health and money wise, I love kids and feel I have so much love and care to give, i think I’d both enjoy and be a good mother. Also, I’d like to have them ‘traditionally’ because I’d like to experience pregnancy and I have some good genes lol. I think I’d like to have 3, partially because I do think I will love to raise and love children but also largely because I want my kids to have multiple siblings and to have a bigger (I know that’s not large in the grand scheme but for like, this day and age and economy and etc) family and for their kids to have multiple aunts/uncles. I love having a brother and wish I had more siblings, I wish I had a sibling closer in age that I could relate to, but I do still enjoy taking care of him and him being my baby brother. I also used to have 5 aunts and uncles (well 10 since they were all married ig) and many many cousins of all ages before we stopped talking to that side of my family, and I have two uncles (and my aunts their wives) and only see a few of my cousins due to where they live, and I am so glad I have family gatherings that big but I do miss the giant ones too, therefore I want for my kids what I have and love.
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
I am NOT a sports girlie. Up until I was 12 ish I was a very into ballet and modern dancing (would’ve continued but alas anxiety struck) and after that I did musical theatre which is its own style of dancing, incorporating all different types. I’d love to go back but since I stopped dancing due to a steady string of anxiety, anxiety medication side effects, foot problems, and then finally chronic fatigue syndrome, I’ve become out of shape, have really bad feet, and REALLY struggle to find time to take care of myself. I do want to start exercising again in ways that don’t require me to have functional feet like weight lifting, aerial dancing (those fabric strip things) etc. But I am Not good at sports nor do I like it, sorry. I remember basketball in elementary being the most frustrating and volleyball being,,,ok
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Hm in general i don’t think I do actually, I’m a pretty earnest and straightforward person myself and idk using sarcasm feels negative? For me? And I strive to be as positive to others as I can be. (Not that sarcasm is always mean I just feel like it don’t my Vibe ykwim) but I’m also somewhat socially and subtextually dense so I think it makes sense I don’t use something I may not be the best at understanding unless it’s obvious
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Hmm, I think that varies a Lot, it’s probably usually either makeup, clothing, hairstyle, or tattoos if they stand out or if they’re something I’d want myself or am attracted too or like aesthetically. I always try to get up the courage to compliment people on things I notice because I feel good when I get complimented so I want other people to feel like that too :) also actually since I’m a cashier and people hand over cash and point cards often I usually notice nails. Oh I also notice extremes in height immediately, I’m short so people shorter than me are like woah! And people super duper tall are also like Woah!
7. What’s your eye colour?
Dark brown
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
TLDR happy endings, I’m a sucker for happily ever after to the point where if it didn’t end happily I’ll probably write or st least daydream a fan fiction ending where it does. ESPECIALLY romance it Always gets me. I do like scary movies though, especially psychological horror, although,,,In The Tall Grass FUCKED ME UP (the movie, I don’t read stephen king books cause his writing style makes me uncomfy but man does he have some fucked up terrifying horrible ideas for for him)
9. Any talents?
Ig that’s kinda complicated cause I’d probably call myself a jack of all trades (but master of none). I was one of those kids that was praised for being good at like everything the first time I tried it and now as an adult has to learn how to study and have a huge issue of getting frustrated and stopping anything I try that I’m not immediately good at therefore never being able to improve because I’m not practicing. But I’ve been Told by teachers, professors, and other people that I’m quite talented at singing. I starred in some musicals in elementary school and studied vocals in high school, in choirs the whole time too, so I’d say I’m like, sort of trained in musical theatre and opera and I Have worked to improve my voice. But I was also told that apparently when I was 3 ish I grabbed a mic and went on a stage (probably at play group or smth idk) and belted twinkle twinkle little star and parents laughed and said I’d be a star one day so idk maybe I just have that star quality lol. Oh I’ve also been commended for my acting skills back before I did acting? But I haven’t done much of late and wouldn’t consider myself exceptionally skilled, I want to be though! I uh also had a period in high school where I discovered I liked (and was good at) academics and excelled in science and math and focused Heavily on that, getting awards and whatnot. I’m not gifted but my mom and grandfather are (were, granddad is not alive) and I definitely did get their big brains.
Oh also I’m like a professional daydreamer at this point I write whole ass stories in my head most of which Never make it to the Google docs and I’m Amazingly talented at oversharing I’m sorry in advance tell me to stop talking I literally won’t mind I promise I ramble Too much
10. Where were you born?
Ontario, Canada
11. What are your hobbies?
Too many. I have this issue where I like too many things so I spread myself too thinly to commit to spending enough time practicing on any one thing to improve, and then on top of that have this thing where I can’t just do something for fun I have to be Good at it (which I think stems from being a Talented Kid™) BUT here’s a list here we go it’s long
Singing
Acting
Dancing
Cooking
Baking
Writing
Makeup
Learning languages (I’m shit at it tho)
Linguistics (how languages WORK is So Cool)
Driving
Drawing
Learning about cool science things namely psychology, genetic, otherwise biology, or nuclear related
I’m not good at this yet but I wanna get into mixology for fun and also as a job
Can’t sew v well yet but I think it would be So Fun and also good to know cause I have to hem every other pair of pants I get
12. Do you have any pets?
I live w my parents still n we have a dog who’s actually my brother’s service dog she’s a huge black lab named Marshmallow and she is full of so much love but not a lot of thoughts, and we recently got a tuxedo kitten i got to name Carmilla (Carmilla is the name of an 1872? gothic lesbian vampire novella that came out before dracula, see my kitten loved to hide n is super duper fast and also play bites, hence, vampire)
13. How tall are you?
5’1 or 152cm
14. Favourite subject in school?
Too many uhh in high school I rlly loved general biology, my vocal classes (which we learned solos in Italian, German, and musical theatre genres and etc it was amazing), my intro to sociology, psychology, and anthropology class, my human development throughout the lifespan class (I wrote a super cool paper on the theory of infantile synesthesia which tbh is probably the best paper I’ve ever written), and my drama classes. In uni so far I’ve enjoyed my year 1 biology class, Especially the second half cause it was like almost All genetics (soooo fascinating!!!), I Loved my Japanese class which was hard as hell but so fascinating and awesome (I love languages and how they work, and Japanese being so different from my native language of English was really interesting, I also really like Japanese food and culture and nature so learning the language was partially because I think it’s a wonderful language but partially so I can go to Japan at some point), my psych intro class was fascinating and I especially enjoyed the parts on sleep and consciousness and on sensory and perception, those parts of our brains are sooo cool I also really liked my Health Psychology (relating our body to our mind was eye opening and very interesting) class. All those classes had super interesting subject matter AND really amazing sweet and helpful professors. Oh my intro data science class was cool cause I got to do shit of coding which was fun and rewarding
15. Dream Job?
Ok so remember the ‘jack of all trades but master of none’ thing? Liking and being somewhat good at many different things is rlly not helpful for deciding on careers, the end of that phrase ‘but better than being a master of one’ I’d say isn’t true cause I do think being good at One thing has its pros and cons, a pro being it’s def easier to decide what to do. I’ve been told I could probably make it in the opera industry, and I would love to act and sing for a living, whether that’s theatre, film, or voice acting, preferably I’d love to do them all tbh. It feels narcissistic to admit but I do like the recognition for performing, I relish the applause I get during curtain calls or after a solo, I wouldn’t say I Live for the applause but I do like it, I think I’d like to be some level of famous. However I know that’s not easy to attain and I also would love to be a teaching and researching professor of psychology and genetics. I love presenting and teaching and am very good at it (my best marks are always on presentations lol) and I love researching concepts that are interesting to me, like for example if I had to write a thesis right now I’d probably write it about the possibility of finding the epigenetic patterns that cause hereditary depression, anxiety, etc, and use CRISPR gene editing technology to correct those thus ending the cycle of hereditary mental illness instead of putting the bandaid of a medication on it. Also I know that coding and computer science is lucrative right now and I did enjoy my taste of coding so I’d also love to look into that. I Do want to make a lot of money so I can afford to take care of those I love (and myself), be more sustainable, and enjoy some extra things in life like fancy and unique or uncommon to my culture food
No pressure but Also tagging @dragonheart1330 :)
I probably didn’t even say One thing @dragonheart1330 and @deerlisteners don’t already know lol as I said I am soooo talented at oversharing
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thebroccolination · 3 months
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Hi Key 👋 I am once again sleep deprived and bothering people. Don't worry, I won't put you through another round of either/or😅
Since there are "Top 5" polls going around, I was wondering: 1) Now that KristSingto have returned to us and are serving exes to lovers goodness, what top 5 genres/tropes would you like to see from them in regards to any future projects?
2) Now that BounPrem are with GMM, (besides Krist and Singto which I fully believe you will manifest🤞) what top 5 artists would you like to see them work with? Solo or paired.
Please never feel pressured to answer anything I send lol I'm just a curious bean.
P.S. Now that I finally have some free time, I can't wait to catch up on your fics, "Fireproof" and "Heart Like Gold" are top of my list! I just finished reading "Anew" and absolutely loooooved it ❤️
Awww I love answering questions! \o/ Thank you, OP, it’s lovely to be thought of like this!
And I hope you enjoy the new fics! <3 (I do need to update HLG soon.)
Okay so first up:
Top 5 Genres/Tropes I’d Like to See from KristSingto
1) Fantasy set in our world. And not necessarily time travel, but something like Be My Favorite where the stakes are high. They’re both so good at high drama, I need more of it from them together.
2) Established relationship. It’s my favorite trope. I love seeing couples already in love dealing with issues either in their relationship or in an Us vs. the World sort of situation.
3) Historical!!! I’d do literally anything to see them falling in love in early Ayutthaya fashion.
4) WEDDING. LET THEM GET FICTIONALLY MARRIED.
5) Soulmate stuff! I just love soulmate stuff. That’s how UWMA trapped me in here in the first place. :’)
Aaaand
Top 5 GMMTV Artists I’d Like to See BounPrem Work With (Besides KristSingto Because I’m Already Channeling All My Spiritual Power Behind that)
1) Aye!!! She’s so phenomenally talented so she’d be good for them to work with and hone their skills, and I also think she’d get along with Prem especially. She and Prem have very calming energy. Also just. She’s so sweet and she has social anxiety so I just want her to work with more kind people, and BounPrem are both fiercely loyal and fun to be around.
2) Gawin!!! I’m basically pairing the sweet and talented introverts with BP because they bring joy into the world of anyone they interact with. I also think they’d learn a lot from each other acting-wise since Gawin really honed his dramatic skills with Be My Favorite under Waa.
3) Namtan!!! God they’d be so funny together. She’s hands-down the funniest person at GMMTV and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she and Boun would be best friends immediately. Please. I beg.
4) Jan!!! I just want to see them hang out with my favorite actresses, basically. SWS was primarily dudes and GMMTV has such phenomenal actresses who honestly don’t get the opportunities they deserve. AyeJan and BounPrem and I’ll be happy.
5) Gun!!! I don’t think they’d become best friends or anything, I just think he’s talented and he’d challenge them to improve even more. So this one’s more a craft thing I hope for them.
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