#and abandonment if we're being honest :(

[keru0]

Cheering Up

Ugh I just finished TriStamp and I already miss them so much ToT!! This fic is on the shorter side but I was in the mood to write for them and I figured I’d put something out while I try to finish that Rag-Bros fic. Anyways, hope yall enjoy!!

Fandom: Trigun Stampede

Ships/Pairings: Lee!Vash, Ler!Wolfwood, Ler!Meryl (romantic)

Contains: SFW, Fluff

Word Count: 1359

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It was an…odd night, to say the least.

Instead of their usual – which consisted of them sleeping in the truck – Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl were actually able to hunker down in a less-then-nice and cozy motel. Of course, as always, there were arguments of who would take what bed, Vash insisting on sleeping on the floor, but Meryl and Wolfwood were having none of it, almost forcing Vash to take one of the two beds since he always insists on the floor, though his price was that one of them would take up the bed with him so no one would sleep on the floor that was covered in god-knows-what.

After the sleeping arrangements were agreed – Wolfwood deciding he would sleep with the humanoid furnace – they decided to go to a bar nearby, wanting to have some fun before heading out in the morning. This, of course, led to the trio drinking until they were barely lucid, stumbling their way back to their shared room. 

Meryl insisted on showering first, still disgusted by the bug guts from yesterday, leaving Wolfwood and Vash alone. 

As soon as Meryl disappeared behind the door, Vash let his façade drop, dropping his cheery smile for a more sullen look.

Drinking always makes Vash think of things he usually doesn’t think about – things he doesn’t want to think about. It’s fun at first; hanging out with friends, forgetting about his worries, but by around the fifth drink, thoughts he thought he had stashed away come barreling to the surface, forcing him to think about them.

Usually Wolfwood would leave him be, knowing Vash doesn’t like to talk about what’s on his mind, knowing that he thinks he’s a burden if he even so much as frowns at someone, let alone talks about his feels. The beer in his system, instead of ignoring him, makes him want to know what's going on with his usually-bubble friend; it makes him want to help him in a way Vash never lets anyone help.

So, noticing his change in attitude and knowing that the Humanoid Typhoon gets in his head, Wolfwood turns towards him, the cigarette in his mouth doing nothing for the slurring of words the drinks are causing. “You alright, Needle Noggin?”

Not wanting to worry his friend, Vash immediately switches expressions to his usual cheery demeanor, looking up, surprised by Nicolas’ acknowledgment, he puts a smile on his face as crows feet come at the corners of his eyes, his beautiful dimples on half-display, forcing their way through his thoughts. “Uh- Y-yeah! I’m alright, why wouldn’t I be?”

Sighing, Nico walks to sit by Vash on the bed, thighs touching as he rests his elbows on his knees and softens his expression. “Drop the act, Needles. What’s bothin’ ya?”

Wolfwood can see his expression change almost immediately, Vash looking away as soon as he feels it drop. “It…it's nothing, Wolfwood. It’s not important.”

Wolfwood groans, rolling his eyes as he steels his expression as much as he can under the influence. “Bullshit it's not important! Stop with the dramatics, Vash. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Vash flinches under his words, almost seeming to fold in on himself. Noticing this, the Punisher sighs again, trying to soften him voice. “Look, Needles, Shortstack and I care about you. You can’t just go around ignoring your own feelings all of the time. Look at me.”

Vash turns his head, bright cerulean eyes locked onto grey, a look of understanding passing between the two before Vash looks away again. “M’just thinking about…about the last time someone hugged me.”

Wolfwood furrows his brows at this, wanting to know more. “Huh? What are ya talkin’ about, Needles?”

“I just…” Vash looks down, his cheeks flushing an even darker shade of red than the one brought on by drinking. “I miss it. Being hugged.”

Wolfwood chuckles, getting up from the bed.

“W-wha-?! Why are you laughing! I thought-” Vash was cut short by Wolfwood hugging him tightly, arms around his shoulders, cheeks pressed together. 

“Blondie, for being nearly two centuries old, you sure are dumb.” He moves his face down to the crook of Vash’s neck, mumbling into the soft skin, one of the rare areas on Vash that wasn’t metal nor scar. “If you ever want a hug, just ask me or Shortstack. We’ll be happy to give you what you want, Needles.” 

Finishing his half-speech, Nick breathes in Vash, noticing that there is a distinct smell, the alcohol betraying him and letting the words slip through. “You smell nice. Like…I actually don’t know what like…”

Vash’s eyes widen, never seeing his friend act this way. ‘It’s probably the alcohol,’ he thought, encircling his arms tightly around the smoker, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “U-um…it’s flowers.”

“Flowers, huh?” Wolfwood closes his eyes as he moves his head up and down, his stubble scraping against Vash’s sensitive neck as he keeps breathing in the floral aroma. “I like it.”

“W-Wolfwood, wahait! Y-your beheard!” Vash laughs, Nick’s stubble tickling his neck as he moves his face along the vulnerable flesh.

“Beard? You mean my stubble, Blondie?” Wolfwood chuckles. “What’sa matter?” He teases, sneaking his hands towards the humanoid’s sides, gently scribbling along them, feeling the bumps of the scars and metal that litter his body through the thin cloth of his shirt. As he lowers his body so he is on top of Vash, the both of them laying down now, legs dangling off of the bed, he leans in close to Vash’s ear, smiling as he whispers, tickling him more in the process. “Is the Humanoid Typhoon…ticklish?”

The Typhoon weakly grabs Nick’s wrists, if only to ground him, as his black-haired partner continues to tease him. “Nihihick! C’mohohon! Knock it ohohohoff! NaHahAhAHa!”

Vash loses it when Wolfwoof moves his hands higher, gently digging into Vash’s bare sides. “Why should I, Needles? We both know that you’re strong enough to make me stop…that is, unless you like it~”

“WolfwoHohOhoHoD! HahAhaHahAhAhaHa!” Vash whined, Wolfwood deciding to start nibbling on his ticklish neck.

“You know the word, Needles~”

“What are you two doing?”

Both the Punisher and the Humanoid Typhoon look up, blushes – from either the situation or the drinking, who knows – on their faces as they are met face-to-face with Meryl, freshly clean and in her pajamas, which consisted of shorts and a t-shirt, a faux look of annoyance on her face.

Vash stammered. “U-um…we were…uh…”

Wolfwood, on the other hand, decided that the shortie needs to know about Vash. “Well, Shortstack-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“-Vash here was down about wanting hugs, and I just let him know that if he ever wants one, he’s free to ask us. Isn’t that right, Shortstuff?”

Meryl was truly annoyed with the use of the nickname again, but softened to agree with him, sitting down opposite of the others, speaking directly to Vash, whose gaze was averted to the wall, a cute pout on his lips. “Right. Vash, anything you need or want, just ask us. There’s no harm in that, and you won’t be bothering us.”

Wolfwood freed one of his hands to bring it up to Vash’s cheek, turning his head so they were face-to-face. “She’s right, Needle Noggin. Just ask. Anyways,” Wolfwood started, finishing his portrayal of the events of the last few minutes. “I decided to give him a hug and he decided to be ticklish-”

“I didn’t decide that!”

“-and then what you saw happened. Seemed to cheer him up, yeah?”

Meryl smiled, laughing softly, a playful glint in her eyes. “You’re right, Wolfwood. Think he needs any more cheering up~?”

“I think so~”

“W-wait! G-guys c’mon! Meryl, not you tohohoho! AhaHahAhA!”

And so the “odd night” came to a close. Vash’s bubbly laughter filled the room before he and Wolfwood finally got their showers and, instead of sleeping on separate beds, the trio cuddled together, the Humanoid Furnace keeping them plenty warm.

Safe to say this “odd night” became the new normal, with Vash asking for hugs almost every hour – and getting them – and getting “cheered up” by his partners whenever he felt down. This new normal was better, and all of them thought so.

[cold-kitty]

Todays poll winner was... Yandere Naga! I love Nagas, really anything with a tail. I know that there's different Nagas, but this Naga is Centaur style: human from the hips up and a snake tail from hips down.

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Little backstory: Nagas are a rare species in this world, which puts a high price on them. They're shoved into zoos or killed for their tails and scales, some celebrities even own a few. This Naga, however, is determined not to let that happen to him.

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Contains: Mentions of murder, non-human yandere, kidnapping, yandere doesn't know his own strength and harms darling

Yan!Naga who hates people, genuinely hates them. he hates them so much to the point that if someone so much as steps into his forest he kills them on the spot, he won't put himself in danger.

Yan!Naga who isn't a hateful person, he's just scared if we're being honest. people are scared of what they can't control or predict, and fear turns into hate.

Yan!Naga who always feels guilty after killing someone, especially regretting it if that person was innocent. he's definitely taught himself to differentiate threat from innocent though, so he doesn't kill as many people now.

Yan!Naga who keeps a close eye on you when you wander around his forest, trying to determine if you're a threat or not.

Yan!Naga who finds out you're not a threat, and continues on his way. he silently slips through the trees, his incredibly long tail holding onto branches for balance.

Yan!Naga who really, really doesn't like it when you lay down on his special rock, it was his after all. it was big and flat, big enough for him to coil his whole tail on (which means it's absolutely massive because his tail is like 25 feet long). it collected heat from the sun and warmed up anything that touched it, so he could understand the appeal.

Yan!Naga who definitely prepared to remove you from it. he reaches out to grab you, but abruptly stops when he sees your sleeping face. his hands starts shaking slightly and it balls into a fist.

Yan!Naga who definitely knows that he likes you, human or not, and he wants you to be his.

Yan!Naga who cozies up next to you on the rock, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close. warm...

Yan!Naga who coils his tail around you, one of the greatest shows of affection for his people.

Yan!Naga who loves your warmth, even more than the warmth his rock provided.

Yan!Naga who gets scared when you start to stir awake. no no no no no no no! shit, he's gonna see me, he's gonna hate me!

Yan!Naga who watches your eyes widen and your mouth open in a scream. he immediately slams a hand over your mouth, his own eyes wide and his body shaking with yours.

Yan!Naga who feels you trying to squirm away, but he doesn't let you. he squeezes his tail tighter and tighter around your torso and legs to keep you in place, and he hears a gut-wrenching crunch.

Yan!Naga who immediately lets go of you as you let out a bloodcurdling scream into his hand, tears dotting in his eyes. oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck! i hurt him!

Yan!Naga who watches you roll onto your side, sobbing. he rolls you gently onto your back again, softly pressing his fingers into the side you're holding. he stops as you cry out, but he definitely felt something. a broken rib.

Yan!Naga who carefully picks you up, careful not to hurt you anymore. he starts carrying you to an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods, where he stays at night.

Yan!Naga who slowly sets you down in his 'nest', a large pile of blankets and other soft cloths with a him-sized debt in the middle, AKA a huge crater.

Yan!Naga who wraps your side with a soft cloth from the pile, tying it tight enough to hurt but would help heal the fracture.

Yan!Naga who curls up against you again, holding you so loosely that it feels like he's not even there.

Yan!Naga who will provide for you, now until forever, hurt or not.

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I hope your easter was great!

~🐈‍⬛

[buccini555]

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲

★ You found out you were pregnant, but were afraid to tell them, but they ended up finding out

★ H e a d c a n o n s !

★ 𝑭𝒕. Manjiro Sano, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Kakucho Hitto, Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Kokonoi Hajime and Takeomi Akashi

tw: unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, bad words, abandonment, a little angst but a lot of fluff

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

Manjiro began to notice the change in your behavior, having the impression that you were hiding something, he knew, at that point he was almost sure that you were expecting his baby.

"Don't lie to me..." He held you, making you completely vulnerable, tears came down his face, Manjiro was really scaring you.

"M-manjiro, stop, please..." You just closed your eyes, expecting the worst and fearing for your son's life, but, unexpectedly, Manjiro let you go, giving you a hug full of affection, you remained silent, watching him place his hand on your belly.

"A-are you... pregnant?" Your heart beat faster, a feeling of despair took over you, but it was too late. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry but, it's true, I-I'm expecting your baby." Silence took over the room, being broken by Manjiro's inconsolable crying.

"Thanks." He said through tears. "Please take our baby away from me, I don't want to hurt you..." That was the last thing you heard from Manjiro before he told you to leave.

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨

You tried to hide all the symptoms so that Haruchiyo wouldn't notice, until the day you were having dinner together and you felt sick, as soon as you got up and went to the bathroom because of nausea, at that moment he already knew that you were pregnant.

"Love? are you ok?" He walked into the bathroom, seeing you sitting on the floor crying.

"Be honest with me... You're pregnant, aren't you?" Haruchiyo said as he helped you get up, your crying only intensified at that moment, confirming Sanzu's question, he remained silent, looking at you and stroking your face, it was definitely not the reaction you expected from him.

"Were you scared to tell me? I-I'm so sorry." Sanzu hugged you, then he walked away and at that moment you expected the worst possible reaction.

"I'm really angry that you're making your mother sick, we have to take care of her together, do you hear your father?" He said hugging and placing a small kiss on your belly, giving a smile of relief from you, later getting up and giving you a long kiss.

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨

Kakucho was always very attentive to you, for that reason, it didn't take long for him to suspect that you were pregnant, his doubts were only confirmed the day you ended up in the hospital because of a faint.

As soon as he found out about your hospitalization, he went to visit you, but as soon as he arrived in the room you were in, he saw you doing an ultrasound and listening to your baby's heart, as soon as you noticed his presence, your heart accelerated, Kakucho was standing at that door crying with a smile on his face, he went into denial for a moment, his emotion upon hearing your baby was so great that he couldn't even contain himself.

"Y-you're really pregnant, our baby is so small, so fragile... We're going to have a baby, I can't believe it!" He approached you, holding your hand and telling you through tears, he was shaking and couldn't even look away from the image of the baby.

"That was the best gift you could have given me, thank you darling! Now you're no longer the only love of my life." He kissed your hand, his reaction left you completely in love, you were sure at that moment that despite everything, you chose the right father for your baby.

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

Rindou and you were in the room listening to some songs together when you started to feel sick, as much as you were trying to hide your pregnancy, Rindou had already noticed at that moment.

"Shit, aren't you going to tell me you got pregnant?" He said in a serious tone, looking directly at you, you looked at him scared, but you would have to tell the truth. "I'm sorry Rin..." You just confirmed his question, Rindou was completely shaken by the news and you could only hope for the worst.

"I'm not going to be a good father..." He said in a low tone, shaking his head in denial and trying to hide how disappointed he was. "I'm sure you'll be a great father, Rin." Everything suddenly became silent, almost as if time had stopped, Rindou hugged you, then placed his hand on your belly and caressed you with a smile on his face.

"I'll do my best for you, you and this little one boy... Or little one girl! Ran will love knowing he's going to be an uncle."

𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

Ran You definitely won't find out about your pregnancy that easily, but as soon as he saw you feeling sick in front of him, something in his intuition made him realize your pregnancy.

Holding your hair as you finished throwing up, he couldn't help but ask you.

"You are pregnant?" He asked the question with a worried expression, seeing you feeling sick and thinking about the fact that you were carrying that weight alone made him completely sensitive, fearing for Ran's reaction, you just nodded your head.

"You should have told me earlier!" He shouted at you, making you even more scared.

"Forgive me... I didn't mean to yell at you." Ran hugged you, being careful in his embrace, he was already getting used to the presence of your baby, knowing that he would have to change his behavior for you.

"...My angel, my girlfriend and future wife, you made me a complete man!" He said, still hugging you, Ran proposed to you at that same moment and promised himself that regardless of anything, he would be the best father your baby could have. "Rindou is going to spoil this child so much..." Ran said with a smile on his face.

𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞

Kokonoi had already made it very clear previously that he did not intend to have children, hiding the pregnancy from him would definitely not be a good idea as it didn't take him long to realize it.

"Do you have something to tell me?" He would ask you, already knowing the answer, Kokonoi didn't want to believe that that had happened.

"N-no." You said, trying to deny the obvious, but he interrupted you.

"You are pregnant." Koko stated, taking a long sigh and shaking his head in denial, you expected the worst possible reaction, but the tallest just burst into tears, soon going to hug you.

"I would never, ever deny our baby, I love you and I will love this baby, in fact, I already love him... or she? I don't know!" He said, or at least tried to say in the midst of so much emotion, he hugged you tightly, you just felt how much he was shaking, Koko was scared and just feared he wouldn't be a good father to your son. "I will take care of you, I will protect you! You are my most precious one, you and our baby."

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢

Takeomi already knew about your pregnancy, he paid close attention to your behavior and it didn't take long to notice the changes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Where were you thinking when you chose to hide your pregnancy from me?" Takeomi said placing you against the wall and holding your face aggressively, at that moment you could only cry, fearing for your baby's life.

"You were just another slut, you should have thought about that before showing up pregnant." He said, releasing you, despite all that violence, Takeomi was honestly moved by the fact that you were expecting his baby.

"... I'm so sorry." Takeomi looked at you, helping you sit down and sitting in front of you.

"I won't be able to move on with my life knowing that I left a child behind, so I will take care of you and these children, but know that I'm not happy at all with this mistake I made." He got up and left.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

lando norris x reader

based on this request (because I take requests and I have to make it everyone's business): Hi not sure if you take requests but in case you do could you write reader x lando where y/n is a celebrity or an influencer and she drops subtle hints at who is her new bf maybe some fun facts about him like "oh he hates fish and I'm making a lot of fish for christmas" and eventually the fans are like "guys it's totally lando"

words count: 2.5k + fans' tweets at the end

author's note: my first request and it was so fun to write 🥹 also added a hospital scene from the time of Vegas GP so we could experience a bit of protective Y/n and painkillers-high Lando (I forgot about a fish scene)

edit: I've just realized I've messed up the dates so let's pretend the award thingie was in '23 instead of '22

A secret boyfriend

It was a normal Tuesday of 2023 when Y/n Y/l/n and Lando Norris met. Well, not so normal since it was the day Y/n won the first award in her musical career, and Lando had his first debut as an award presenter.

"And the winner is..." He opened the envelope and flipped it, as he held it upside down. "Y/n Y/l/n."

Y/n couldn't believe it at first. She looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. They hugged before Y/n stood up and got on her way to the scene, still questioning if she actually heard her name or was it her mind playing tricks on her.

"Thank you," Y/n sent Lando a smile as he handed her the award, "are you sure it's for me?" She joked, trying to mask the anxiety she felt from the fact that now she had to give a speech while everyone watched.

"Absolutely, it's all yours. Well deserved." Lando said feeling a bit starstruck from being so close to one of his favorite singers.

Just this one simple interaction was enough for both Y/n's and Lando's fanbases to raise suspicions. However, what was unavailable to the fans' eyes were Y/n and Lando's interaction at the after party. Later the same evening, he approached her.

"Hey, congratulations again." He said with a grin on his face. "Your music is amazing, I couldn't imagine you not winning this award."

"Stop with the compliments, I'm gonna blush." Y/n laughed. "Nice to meet you. Lando Norris, isn't it?"

"Yeah, do you watch Formula One?"

"I'm going to be honest from the beginning and admit I did not, but I did my research and I just might start being a fan."

"If you're ever down for hearing firsthand gossip straight from the track, I'm at your service."

"I'd love to hear all the gossip over a coffe sometime."

"Let me give you my number then and I'll arrange something."

And so a few days later they had a coffee date. The date marked the beginning of a carefully hidden romance. They wanted to keep it a secret from the public eye, not wanting people prying on them, trying to estimate how long they'll last.

Keeping the relationship secret somehow came easy to them. They were seen on the coffee date indeed, however they made sure to have the next dates in private. The fans on both sides were literally clueless to the whole ongoing romance. Y/n had her tour, Lando had his races and it wasn't even a little bit suspicious how a lot concerts aligned with race weekends.

Unfortunately, one day Y/n went live on Instagram with her best friend. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n gave away the big secret.

"You know, guys, we're gonna use lives as a way to spend time together," she joked, "I've been feeling a bit abandoned since Y/n has been spending so much time with her boyfriend. Even on tour and with his busy schedule, can you believe this?"

Y/n's eyes widened. "Y/f/n!" She scolded her friend.

"What? It's a joke, no worries, I can see you're finally happy and I'm happy for you!"

"Y/f/n! You weren't supposed to say that!"

But the damage was already done. There was nothing Y/n could say to save the situation. So instead she decided to start dropping subtle hints for the fans to guess. Maybe it was the right time to make the relationship public after five months. They couldn't hide it forever.

Y/n started the hint game when she was on Jimmy Fallon's show.

"Y/n Y/l/n, everybody!" Jimmy announced when the girl walked in and sat down on the armchair. "I haven't seen you in a year and so much happened during this time!"

"I know, I know," Y/n said with a smile. "I'm so glad I could make a quick pit stop here on my way to Montreal."

"I'm happy to have you here. You won an award, you got a boyfriend. How- how did that happen?"

Y/n chuckled at Jimmy's question, realizing it was the perfect opportunity to play the hint game. "Oh, life takes unexpected turns and sometimes you find yourself on a fast track to happiness."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Anything you'd like to share about this mystery man?"

"You know, Jimmy, I've finally found someone who knows how to navigate the twists and turns in life."

The audience laughed and the speculations among fans skyrocketed as they tried to connect the dots from Y/n's playful hints.

The other time, Y/n was on a popular radio show. The host couldn't help but ask about the latest reveal of a big secret.

"You were left hurting really badly after your previous relationship," he spoke, "it's really good to see you finally happy."

"It was a big thing for me. Still is." The girl admitted. "My previous relationship made it hard to open up to a man like that again."

"What made you do it eventually then?"

"I decided life is too short for keeping things in the slow lane," Y/n chuckled, "and when you meet someone that can belt out a Taylor Swift song with the same passion as you, it's hard not to fall for them."

"So your mystery man is a Swiftie too? Any chance we might know him?"

"Oh, I bet many people who are listening right now would know him."

"Now you got us all intrigued, your fans wouldn't forgive me if I didn't ask for more."

Y/n grinned, "Well, he's practically flawless, except for one little detail. He's a scorpio. And let me tell you, when we're playing our silly little racing video games, his competitive scorpio side really comes out. It's all fun and games until his racing pride is at stake."

The host laughed. "I'm sure fans are already trying to guess who this mystery gamer is. And you, are you competitive?"

"Yes, totally. He's more experienced than I am, but it doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to beat him."

"Is there any trait you don't share?"

The girl nodded, "Yes, one thing I'm secretly jealous of. He's quite known for being able to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable conditions. I wish I could do that. I'm all about pillows and comfy blankets, but he can just doze off anywhere, anytime."

A few days later, in the warmth of Lando's bedroom, surrounded by the hum of city life outside the windows, Y/n brought up the topic with a playful glint in her eyes.

"You know, Lando, fans have been buzzing lately. It's quite entertaining."

"Well, you have started this yourself," Lando laughed, laying his head in his girlfriend's lap.

"Not me, it was Y/f/n. I just went with it and turned it into something fun for myself." Y/n defended herself. Her fingers started gently playing with Lando's hair.

"You do seem to be having a great time, leading your fans on and all that," he joked. "Are there chances they'll solve your mystery anytime soon?"

"I've seen a few tweets accusing you of being my secret boyfriend, but most people don't really believe that."

"What?" He sit up dramatically. He continued in a fake-offended voice. "Do they think I'm not good enough?"

Y/n giggled.

Lando's mock offense turned into a playful pout. "I can't believe they're doubting my boyfriend potential. I mean, come on, look at me!" He gestured theatrically at himself.

Y/n burst into laughter, "Maybe we should give them a little more to work with, stir the pot a bit."

Lando leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Y/n's cheek. "You're a master of turning chaos into entertainment, you know that?"

"It's quite a compliment, coming from a Formula One driver."

Lando flashed a grin. "Well, we both have our talents, don't we? Maybe we should drop some subtle hints during a race?"

And so they waited months for the Grand Prix in Vegas, because that was where they could start rumours about getting married. Sure, they could get married spontaneously anywhere, but there was no better place than Las Vegas.

Thankfully they managed to keep the relationship secret all these months, breadcrumbing Y/n's fans. After the Vegas GP, Y/n and Lando where supposed to go for an afterparty, get 'drunk' and then 'married'.

Unfortunately, they plans changed the direction a bit with Lando's crash. Y/n's heart sank as she watched the unfolding drama on the big screens. The thrill of the race was replaced with concern for Lando's well-being. Plans for the afterparty and the playful hints about a fake marriage suddenly didn't matter anymore.

Emergency crews rushed onto the track, the anxious seconds felt like an eternity as they worked to help Lando get out of his racing car. Y/n's heart pounded in her chest, the world around her blurring. The fact that he managed to walk away from the car was a small comfort.

Y/n's phone buzzed moment after Lando disappeared from her sight.

from: Lando

I'm okay, they're taking me to st vincent's hospital. Will update you soon. Love you xx

to: Lando

Be there in a second, see you soon

A shaky exhale escaped Y/n, she felt slightly relief and ran towards the exit. She was sure Lando wasn't okay, not after that crash, but at least he was conscious and walking on his own (although it could be the adrenaline). A moment later, when Y/n got into her own car, her phone buzzed again.

from: Lando

Yknow you could post a pic from the hospital, that would stir the pot

Y/n smiled at the massage. If he could think of that, he might had been better than she thought.

The neon lights of Las Vegas blurred as she drove through the city streets, trying to get to the hospital as quick as possible. Despite the speed, the journey seemed to stretch in time.

Arriving at St. Vincent's hospital, Y/n rushed through the entrance, her heart pounding. The reception area looked like a maze in her anxious state, but she managed to find a nurse.

"I'm here for Lando Norris," the girl said.

The nurse looked her up and down. "Are you his family?"

"I'm his girlfriend."

"Then, unfortunately, I cannot let you see him."

"His family is in Europe, I'm the closest to family you can get here in Vegas."

"The closest, but not family. I'll ask you nicely to wait here for further information."

Y/n nodded with an angry expression on her face. She sat down in the waiting room, pulling out her phone and dialing the number of her manager.

"Hey, Mia," the singer said. "I need you to do something." Urgency and frustration were visible in her voice.

"What's going on, Y/n? Are you okay?" Mia's concerned voice came through the line.

"It's Lando. He's been in a crash during the race in Vegas, and they've taken him to St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm here, but they won't let me in because I'm not 'family.' That's so stupid."

"I'm sorry, Y/n, but I still don't see what you want me to do."

"I want you to make a donation for the hospital from my account. Send them like $100,000. I think it'll be enough to let me in."

"Okay, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it more than you know."

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Anxiety lingered in the air. But there was no way they wouldn't let her in after that.

Y/n didn't know how much time had passed. She felt as if all she did was staring at a wall in front of her, ocassionally moving her eyes to the floor or the ceiling. She was fidgeting with her fingers as the same nurse approached her.

"Miss Y/l/n, you're allowed to see Mr Norris in the room 305."

Without a word, Y/n rushed to the room. She found Lando lying in the hospital bed, his gaze turning towards the door as she walked in.

"Lando." Y/n breathed his name, rushing to his side and taking his hand in hers. "I was so worried. And they didn't want to let me in at first."

He managed a dazed smile, his eyes slightly glazed. "Hey, you're real, right? This isn't happening in my head?"

Y/n chuckled. "Yes, I'm real. It's me."

He squinted at her. "You sure? You look like a beautiful hallucination."

"Well, if I'm a hallucination, at least a beautiful one."

"I feel like I'm floating on marshmallow clouds, but you're the most beautiful marshmallow I've ever seen."

Y/n couldn't help but laugh. "I think you might be on some strong painkillers, love."

"Ah, that explains the marshmallows. They're having a party in my head," Lando said with a dreamy expression.

Y/n burst into laughter, the tension of the earlier moments disappearing in the room.

"Did you know," Lando continued, "that racing is like trying to catch a rainbow? And if you're lucky, you might find a pot of gold at the end."

"Is there an Irish leprechaun as well?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe that's who's been guiding me all this time."

"You gotta ask him to make the rainbow less slippery next time then."

He nodded solemnly. "I'll have a serious talk with him. No more slippery rainbows, only smooth, marshmallow clouds."

As they joked around, Y/n couldn't ignore the quiet concern for Lando's well-being. She gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. "You scared me, you know? Seeing you crash like that."

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll be more careful next time. But you have to promise me something too.""

"What is it?"

"You'll visit me in the marshmallow cloud world sometimes. It gets lonely up there."

Y/n laughed, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll visit anytime you want."

"You know, even in the middle of all this craziness, having you here feels like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

As the night carried on, the hospital room became a cocoon shielding them from everything that layed outside its walls. Y/n found herself falling asleep on an armchai next to Lando's bed.

In the quiet ambiance of the night, Lando's mind wandered through the whimsical landscapes of his medication-induced thoughts. He couldn't help but marvel at the coincidence that brought Y/n into his life.

It all started with handing her an award. It seemed like it happened a whole lifetime ago and now, there they were, in the middle of marshmallow clouds.

Y/n, nestled in the armchair, breathed softly in her sleep, completely unaware of Lando's reflections. Soon enough, Lando allowed himself to succumb to the gentle pull of sleep as well.

[girlgenius1111]

you talk of the pain like it's all alright

well i was too into this to not write part 2 right away, so here! the downside is i have not proofread oops.

warnings: nightmare, kind of a panic attack... worries of self harm, but no actual self harm. angst but more fluff :)

The drive to Alexia's apartment was uncomfortably quiet. You could tell that she was trying not to push you, which was not the norm. It made sense though; your actions this evening had really worried her, and she was at a loss for how to help you.

"Does your hand hurt?" She asked, breaking the silence, but keeping her eyes fixed on the road.

"Only a little," you replied, lying through your teeth. You'd rejected any meds from the physios, and your hand ached, pain pulsing from various areas of your knuckles, highlighting the multiple fractures.

"I'll give you something for it when we get home," she told you.

"No, really, it's fine." You mumbled. Your hand hurt because of your own actions, because you'd been stupid and impulsive. It should hurt. In the back of your mind, you realized how unhealthy this thinking was, but you pushed that thought away.

"If you're in pain, you should take something. Just because you did something dumb doesn't mean you deserve to be in pain," Alexia told you, very gently. You tried to hide your surprise at how accurate she was, completely taken aback by her perceptiveness.

Instead of responding, you turned to face out the window, watching the city pass by. Alexia sighed when you didn't say anything; you were really getting tired of that sigh. It sounded like it was full of disappointment in you, even if that wasn't the intention.

-----

You received what felt like the millionth sigh from Alexia when you walked into her apartment. She asked if you wanted to talk, obviously trying to be casual, but you shook your head, telling her you were tired.

"You can't avoid this forever, y/n."

"I'm just tired, Ale, I'm not trying to avoid anything." If she wasn't so worried, she would have laughed at the blatant lie.

"Fine. We'll talk tomorrow," she said, and you nodded, not yet sure how you were going to get out of that one. She was clearly frustrated with you, and you hated it. You already felt bad that you'd made her worried enough to make you stay with her, and the guilt you felt for not being honest was quickly replacing your resolve to keep everything to yourself.

Alexia pointed you towards the guest room, before disappearing to get you something to sleep in. You sat on the bed, running your hands over the soft comforter. Carefully, you took of your brace, wincing at the sight of your hand. It was swelling, already bruised. You were so frustrated, so defeated. You took a shaky breath, trying to stave off the tears that were rapidly gathering in your eyes.

"Okay, these might be kind of big on you, but they... should work..." Alexia returned, voice growing quieter as she looked at you. You were staring at the ground, eyes welled with tears, cradling your hand to your chest. Your lower lip was trembling, and you were blinking rapidly, trying to pull yourself back together. She hadn't seen you look so vulnerable in a really long time, and she wasn't sure how much you'd allow her to comfort you.

The Catalan placed the pajamas on the bed, before carefully walking over to where you were seated. You sucked in a big breath, prepared for another speech, but none came. Instead, Alexia was pulling you into her, arms wrapping around your shoulders, pressing your head into her stomach. Her thumbs moved rhythmically in circles against your shirt. Abandoning your resolve momentarily, you wrapped your arms around her, pressing your face into her. You clutched at her shirt desperately with your good hand, and she held you tighter.

She ran a hand through your hair, speaking quietly to you. "Everything is going be okay, pequeña, I promise. We're gonna figure it out, whatever it is."

She felt you nod almost imperceptibly against her, and took the small victory. She pecked the top of your head, before pulling back.

"Sleep now, you must be exhausted. And wake me up if you need me." She paired her words with a reassuring smile, waiting for you to nod again, before leaving the room.

You changed, wiping all traces of your small breakdown off your face, before climbing into the bed. You were exhausted, too exhausted to try to stay awake. You hoped you were tired enough to not have any nightmares, but luck hadn't really been on your side recently.

-----

Sure enough, you'd only been asleep for a few hours when your dreams soured. It was a familiar nightmare, one that you had frequently. It consisted of you missing a goal, a game winning goal. The fans screamed at you, your opponents mocked you. Worst of all, your teammates were angry too, your captains and Jona yelling at you for not doing better, for not being better.

In the other room, Alexia woke from a light sleep to the sound of you whimpering. She was out of bed in a second, almost falling in her haste to get to you. Entering the room, she saw you rolling around, tears leaking from your eyes. You were talking through your cries, but she couldn't understand what you were saying.

Crossing the room, she sat on the edge of the bed, placing her hands on your shoulders and shaking. You sat straight up, gasping for air. Your wild eyes found Alexia, and before you knew it, you were throwing yourself into her arms, letting out loud, unrestrained sobs.

"Alright, you're okay. It was just a dream. Slow your breathing down, you're safe, I've got you." You barely registered Alexia's words, just so grateful that it was a dream, that she wasn't really mad at you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You cried. You weren't really sure what you were apologizing for, but you couldn't seem to stop.

"Shh, y/n, it's okay. You don't need to be sorry," she told you. She was holding you tightly against her, rocking you back and forth; she wasn't sure why, but it felt right, and it seemed to work. You were calming down.

And as the panic faded, embarrassment took it's place. You pulled yourself out of Alexia's arms, a horrified look on your place.

"No, y/n, it's okay, really, don't-" You cut her off, leaping from the bed and all but sprinting into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind you. You sat against the wall, burying your face in your hands. You could hear Alexia knocking on the door, her panicked voice calling to you, but none of it registered. You were so distraught, so upset that she'd seen you like that. How could you let this happen?

"Y/n, please, please open the door. You don't need to be embarrassed, I'm not mad or upset. I just need to know that you're okay." Alexia was begging, not hearing any response.

Her mind was racing, thinking a million things at once. Whether she could break down the door, what was in there that you could hurt yourself with. She tried everything she could think of to get you to open the door, from pleading to using her stern captain voice, to soothing tones, back to pleading. It had been minutes, and you still hadn't answered. She could hear your ragged breathing, which was some comfort.

She didn't know what to do, how to fix this. Hands shaking, she grabbed her phone, calling the only other person she knew you trusted.

-----

Mapi hadn't expected today to turn out how it had. Not your red card, not your impulsive actions, your total disregard for yourself. She didn't expect the frantic call from Alexia in the middle of the night; Alexia was almost crying, a sign to Mapi that what was going on was bad. More than anything though, she didn't expect Ingrid to take charge the way she did, throwing shoes at her and rushing her to the car.

Ingrid drove fast, hands clenching the steering wheel. Mapi knew Ingrid was an empathetic person, a kind person, but she hadn't expected the Norwegian to join her in this, with this intensity. As Ingrid led her inside Alexia's apartment, determined, Mapi couldn't help but be so incredibly glad that her girlfriend was so perfect.

-----

Noise had faded for you, and all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears. You needed to breath, you knew that. You also knew you needed to tell Alexia that you were okay, that you weren't going to do anything stupid. You were completely frozen though, all your energy focused on gasping little amounts of oxygen into your body, just enough to keep you conscious.

-----

Alexia was sat against the bathroom door, saying pretty much anything that came into her mind. The sound of you struggling was too painful for her to listen to, and she couldn't allow herself to do nothing. She only felt relief at the sight of Ingrid and Mapi. The three of them, together, could fix this, she was confident.

"What happened?" Mapi asked, flinching at the sound of your desperate breaths through the door. Alexia had been barely comprehensible when she called, and Mapi only really understood that something had happened, and you'd locked yourself in Ale's bathroom. Her and Ingrid took seats against the hallway wall near the door as Alexia responded.

"I think she had a nightmare. I went to wake her up and she was so upset, crying so hard. And I calmed her down but then she was pulling away and running out of the room. The look on her face. God she was so horrified that I'd seen her like that." Alexia's voice cracked as she spoke. "I've been trying to get her to open the door but she either can't hear me or she won't open it."

Mapi clenched her fists, before asking the question they were all thinking. "What's in there?"

Not 6 hours ago, you broken your hand punching a wall. They still weren't sure what your intention was with that, and the thoughts of what you could be doing, a locked door in between you, were terrorizing your friends.

Alexia just shook her head. "I don't know, I can't remember. I thought about breaking down the door, but... I don't want to freak her out any more."

Ingrid looked between her the other girls, the solution clear to her. "Did you try to pick the lock?" She asked. Alexia looked at her blankly.

"I don't know how to do that?" Alexia responded, sounding confused.

"Get me a bobby pin." Ingrid instructed, and Alexia scrambled off to her bedroom, uncharacteristically frantic.

"You... you know how to pick a lock?" Mapi asked, completely surprised. Ingrid seemed like the last person she knew that would have that knowledge. Ingrid was a rule follower.

Ingrid looked at her, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, Maria. Doesn't everyone?" She remarked.

Mapi looked even more confused. "No?" She said, her response sounding like a question rather than an answer to one. Alexia returned then, thrusting about 8 bobby pins into Ingrid's hands. Again, Ingrid almost rolled her eyes, wondering what kind of fun the teens had in Spain that they didn't learn how to pick locks. She dropped all but one of the bobby pins, turning towards the door.

Alexia and Mapi exchanged looks, and in the time that took, Ingrid had the door clicking open. They all looked in, distressed, letting out simultaneous sighs of relief at the sight of you. You weren't okay by any means, hunched into a ball, hands pressed tight over your eyes. You weren't hurt though, and that's really all that they were concerned about.

The girls paused, unsure what to do now. It hadn't seemed like you'd noticed them enter the bathroom, and they weren't sure what they could do to without startling you. Ingrid, full of surprises today, took the lead, moving to sit next to you, careful not to touch you. The other girls sat too, albeit a little farther away.

You were so in your head, so not aware of anything around you. You knew someone was speaking to you, closer than they were before, but that was it.

"Hey, y/n, can you hear me?" Ingrid said, voice hushed. You gave no indication that you could. "I'm gonna put my hand right next to you. If you can hear me, I want you to touch my hand." Her voice was so soothing, it broke through the fog in your mind.

After a minute, you pulled your good hand away from your face, and shakily reached for her hand. Ingrid kept her's open, palm facing up, until you wrapped your hand around, gripping tightly.

"Good, that's really good, elskling. Can you move your other hand? It looks like it's hurting, honey." You realized Ingrid was right, and unclenched your broken hand, pulling it away from your face with a whimper. They could see your face now, cheeks flushed and eyes puffy. You avoided looking at the other girls, keeping your eyes trained on the ground even as you stretched your legs out, bringing your hand to your chest. You were still holding Ingrid's hand though, which she took to be a good sign.

"I'm gonna get you some ice, pequeña, is that okay?" Alexia asked, voice softer than you'd ever heard it. You nodded mechanically, because your hand really did hurt. Alexia stepped out of the bathroom, and Mapi spoke this time.

"Can you look at me, y/n? Please?" You'd never heard Mapi like that, desperation clear in her voice. You gave in, lifting your head to meet her eyes. Briefly, you wondered when the hell Mapi and Ingrid had arrived, but Mapi spoke before you could ask.

"You don't need to be embarrassed. You didn't do anything wrong, we're not mad at you, not even a little bit. We just want to help, cariño, can you let us do that?" There wasn't much reason to resist anymore, nothing really left to hide.

"Okay." You said quietly, voice raspy from crying. Alexia returned in time to hear your answer, and this time she was sighing out of relief. It was a nice change.

She sat beside you, gently taking your mangled hand in her own, and wrapping it carefully in an ice pack. You grimaced, squeezing Ingrid's hand a little tighter. In response, she moved her thumb up and down the back of your hand. Alexia held the ice pack in place, not really sure what to do now.

"When did you guys get here?" You asked finally, looking towards the couple.

"A bit ago. Ale called us, she wasn't sure how to get you to open the door." You nodded, feeling guilty for worrying them.

"How did you get in?" You wondered.

"Ingrid must have a criminal background she'd hiding from us, because she picked the lock in 2 seconds flat," Alexia responded, voice jokingly exasperated. You looked at Ingrid, shocked.

"Who doesn't know how to pick a lock!" Ingrid said again, looking between the three of you.

"Most people, I'd say. It's okay, amor, I think it's hot that you used to break in places." Mapi joked.

Ingrid glared at her, her response dying in her mouth when you pulled your hand from her grasp and shuffled closer to Alexia, leaning into her. The girls looked at each other, never really having seen you seek comfort out like this. Alexia wrapped an arm around you taking in your exhausted expression.

"How about we go to bed? We can talk in the morning, when you're feeling better." She suggested, and you agreed.

"I promise I'll talk to you guys." You said quietly. Your friends smiled at you. You really didn't want Ingrid and Mapi to leave, but you weren't really sure how to ask for that. Luckily Alexia's mind reading powers seemed to have returned full force.

"You guys wanna crash in the extra bedroom?" She asked. The couple nodded, and you looked confused. Where were you supposed to sleep?

Alexia pulled you to your feet, holding part of your weight up as you were unsteady on your legs. "Cmon, I'm not letting you out of my sight." She said, leading you into her room. The couple peeled off into the extra bedroom, wishing you a goodnight. Alexia pulled you towards her bed. You were so passed arguing, you let her guide you onto the bed, scooting under the covers. She climbed in next to you letting you wriggle into her. She wasn't sure if you were being snuggly because you were exhausted, or emotional, but she didn't care.

For the first time in weeks, she felt like she had an idea of what was going on in your head, and if you needed physical comfort, she was more than happy to provide it.

You felt safe, comforted, even if anxiety still fluttered in your chest at the thought of talking to your friends in the morning. You passed out almost instantly, regardless, and Alexia followed soon after.

-----

part 3 probably tomorrow because i'm obsessed with this

[zackius]

Adam SMUT HEADCANON

(It's my first work and English is not my native language, be indulgent and correct me if the grammar is bad lol)

It’s quite Adam with his virginity kink than his general smut headcanon lol

This man has a HUGE kink on virginity, if you're not one he would not really pay attention, he understands that you had fun before him, I mean, everyone’s kinda hot here lol.

However, if you are one, oh boy yes, this man is going crazy

Understand him he has abandonment issues, even if you can't really tell at first, he was really broken when Lilith AND Eve left him for another man.

He just wants to be important to someone and the only one and this goes through virginity.

NOBODY touched you? No man or woman? He's the first and only one who's going to see, touch, and please your body? This drives him CRAZY

You didn't fuck before actually being in a relationship with him, you seemed quite negative about that and he respected your boundaries, he didn't want to rush it all because he loves you.

Nevertheless, when you got officially into the relationship, of course, the subject was going to happen naturally.

So one day, you were together, laying on his belly and watching a comedy while criticizing it: "I fucking understand why this man broke up with this stupid bitch ! Sex is important as fuck ! I'm on his side !"

He was getting angry as always and continued to shout but froze up when he saw your blushing face, avoiding any eye contact with him. He kinda messed up and stuttered "B-Babe that's not what I meant ! Yeah it's important but I'm not a fucking dickhead I can wait !"

You were staring at him in embarrassment " You know, I'm not against doing it, I'm just not ready since I never did that"

Now that's his turn to be red. His eyes widen as he watches you "fuckkk-"

"You should've told me before but damnn-" a smirk started to appear on his face, quite a pervert smirk in your opinion.

You didn't know if it was a big deal or not, you always wanted to wait for the right man and he's the one in front of you.

"Babe we're going to wait as long as your little body is going to be ready for me ~" he purred “Adam !” his arms moved slowly around your hips. His big hands on your smaller body, you skipped a breath

You haven't done anything this night but you noticed that this man was getting horny as fuck. It was not oppressive of course, he would not do that, he doesn't want you to see sex as a burden. Even if he's going to rail you and makes you cum again and again he's waiting for your consent.

So the day you inform you're ready, he's more than happy. He tries to be the most romantic lover possible even if it's quite awkard.

In reality, he just fucking googled how to please a virgin girl. He followed weird tips and put some rose petals on your bed and all. You couldn't help but laugh, he usually has his romantic side but it's not like THAT. It was quite too lovey-dovey but to be honest really cute from him.

he was VERY gentle, very different from everyday were he insult and fight with everyone.

In Adam's head, he was concentrated, he wanted to make it special so you remember that for the rest of your life and from your perception, it was working.

He thought your reactions were cute, "Gnnn, please-", you were reacting with each of his touch. Your body was warm and particularly red from excitation.

But boy, even if he was slow, he wanted to be inside and right now. He was really dominant, you could feel his body and weight on you, your size difference took a part of it.

He touched your panties as he can feel the wetness of it. His smirk appeared again, his breath got heavier. Now it's going to be interesting for both of you !

His touch went a little faster, moving on to your most private parts. He's the first one who's going to see it. He put you panties away and looked your dripping pussy "Ohooo You won't regret waiting babe"

Adam started to lick your inter thigh, humming. Rapidly his tongue found your clit, he licked, sucked and devoured your pussy like he was starving for days and found the most delicious plate in front of him.

And you could definitely tell that, because damn you were feeling pure bliss, your man knew how to please your body. “Yes- sweetie continue-“, you were caressing his head unconsciously

Your pleasure growth, your inside craving him as you moaned his name. You wanted to keep this sweet pleasure but he stopped, you let an annoyed moan from the lack of sensation

He let a deep laugh “don’t worry babe, your cunt is going to be filled and with something better”. You saw his dick and damn you understood why he always was bragging about it, it was massive. “Are you ready to feel the dick of the first man ?” You just let a moan of excitement and spread your legs wider. “That’s my good girl”, he finally pushed it inside of you. You felt pain, it was really big but when he saw you in pain, he stopped and gave a a soft smile.

He kissed you during a time and continued slowly.

It was quite painful but you didn’t want to stop, you were happy to do it with him and were okay with the pain.

However you started to feel some pleasure from it, your hips movements met his. Adam noticed and tried to keep this spot as much as possible. You felt like you were drunk, your head felt heavy “Adam-“

You squeezed around his dick “fuckkk, yes baby- your pussy feel so fucking gooood”. You wrapped your legs around him, scratching his back as he was fucking you.

You started to feel a bigger pleasure growing inside of you. You’re going to cum soon and he knew it. His thrust became faster, at this point you couldn’t stop any moan and just let yourself feel your man. “I got you babe, let yourself go, yes just like that”

He praised you and knew you were getting close “baby let me fuck you right, I can feel that you love my cock, you’re perfect for me “ you moaned as he continued to talk, he also was close “You’re mine and mine only, I’m the first and the last cock you’re going to feel aaah~, promise me that you’re mine oh fuckkk yesss-“

You stared to also praise him, his face went with pure bliss, his blushing got redder, he loved the way you talked to him, praise that baby please he just wants to be a good boy for you.

“Aaah yesss fucking shit, you’re fucking mine and mine only” his last sentence was the start of your orgasm, you felt yourself tightening , a warm liquid blending with his own while he was cummimg, moaning your name and pounding his sperm inside of you.

You were his and he was yours

—

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed ! I don’t really know how to feel since it’s my first fic lol

If you have any suggestion with ships and stories tell me !! And also if the voc I used is weird tell me 🙏

[totheblood]

Helloo :D

Can you do hcs of what it would be like to be friends w benefits with ellie 🫣

a/n: i been waiting on this one ngl... fwb is like the best and worst trope to me... IM SORRY IM SO SICK IN THE HEAD I LOVE U TOXIC ELLIE... also this is modern!ellie.. if this isn't what u meant then im so sorry and i will rewrite it.. not smut but smutty? AI AUDIOS AT THE END

p,s. i lost this when i finished it cause tumblr is the worst and i had to rewrite it so this is a testament of how much i love you guys and i am so sorry if u hate it

fwb!ellie headcanons

it kind of just happened one night after your friends abandoned you at a party and ellie offered to walk you home

you were always close friends with ellie but had gone to the party with a different friend group

...your straight friend group

and you were touch-starved

and ellie was TOUCH-STARVED

so when your tipsy ass asked ellie if she wanted to come inside with you she couldn't say yes fast enough

if she was being honest she was tipsy too

and high

and the alcohol coursing through both of your systems just amplified every touch

it would start gentle with soft kisses

but quickly pick up pace as you moan into her mouth

she wouldn't even make it to your bedroom, pushing you up against the wall and kneeing you

your moans only cause her to want to feel you, her asking for permission before ever touching you

her hands eagerly undo your belt before snapping the waistband of your panties with her fingers

she dips her fingers into your underwear, quickly rubbing circles into your clit

"shit... i'm barely touching you and you're already soaking wet."

"fuck, ellie."

"fuck, you feel so good... this all for me?"

but promptly after fucking you ellie feels sick to her stomach

it's like the reality that she has now fucked her very close friend, who she has always thought was pretty, hits her all at once

so she's quickly throwing her t-shirt on and frantically looking around your place for her flannel

"you're leaving?"

you break her out of her trance and as she looks at your swollen lips and worried eyes her brain is telling her: run, run, run

if it wasn't clear before ellie has no idea how to deal with her feelings

like at all

all she really knows how to feel is guilt & horniness

"yeah well, this wasn't anything serious... we're just friends, right?"

"right, yeah, i know that. it's just really late and cold. you can take the couch.

"right... thanks."

yes, ellie is disappointed that you weren't disappointed and yes, that's toxic

but you were disappointed and there is no way in hell you would be caught dead admitting that

ellie is gone by the morning

it continues every night for about a month straight

one of you is either calling or texting and ending up in the other's bed night after night

ellie will occasionally spend the night (on your couch) and wake you up for your morning classes

or wake up early and buy you breakfast

she tells herself that since she's not cooking the breakfast it doesn't make it coupley

sometimes you two will go out for dinner beforehand... it's not a date it's what ellie likes to call a 'pre-workout snack'

you two will study together and celebrate your grades on tests by trying new things out with each other

"you got an A-? so i'm getting fucking lucky tonight… hell yea"

soon enough she's leaving every party with you

and waiting by the phone for you to call

and thinking about what you are doing

or what you are wearing

and it's all really nice

until it begins to overwhelm her and suddenly she feels like she can't breathe

she didn't like how everyone began to call you a "couple" or how much it bothered her when you would talk about people you were attracted to

or how she wanted to punch their faces in

so she begins to avoid all your texts and calls and avoids going to every party she's invited to

she doesn't even check your social media anymore

it all comes to a head when she's walking on campus and spots you coming from the opposite direction causing her to immediately turn around

"hey, ellie! what the fuck?"

she turns around, an awkward look on her face and all she manages to say is: "what's up?"

"what's up? what's up is that you've been avoiding me. all my texts and calls. what gives?"

"i'm just over it. it got too... close.. for me. you're not my girlfriend so stop acting like you are!"

the minute it leaves her mouth and she watches your face shift from anger to sadness she feels sick to her stomach

"wait, i didn't mean it l-"

"fuck you, ellie."

she goes home and has to stop herself from throwing up

she has no one to talk to about this because she knows she's being an asshole

to make matters worse all she really wants to do is talk to you about it

and she can't

so she just wallows in her apartment and avoids you as much as she can

until she can't

her heart nearly stops when she receives a call from you in the middle of the night and you're crying on the other end asking her to pick you up

"ellie, i'm so so sorry... i wouldn't do this to you if i didn't have a choice but they all left me and i didn't know who else to call and... i need you."

"sh, it's okay... hold on, baby. i will be right there. everything will be okay."

she blows through a couple of stop signs on the way to get you and her heart breaks at the sight of your tear-stained face

"hey, are you o-"

"please just drive, ellie."

ellie takes you back to your place and you fully expect her to leave but she helps you upstairs, takes off your makeup, and tucks you in

you fully expected her to leave but when you wake up she's there in your kitchen

and she made you breakfast

"ellie, what are you d-"

"hey, you're up. do you think you could sit down, have some eggs, and just listen to what i have to say? can you do that?"

"um, sure?"

she takes a deep breath before starting and you make note of how she avoids eye contact with you

"i'm not good at this… or i thought i wasn't good at it and it scared the shit out of me. my whole world became you and i was looking forward to seeing you, and talking to you, and touching you, and i got so scared that it could all get taken away at any moment. so scared that i just sabotaged the one good thing in my life. i'm so sorry, is there anyway you could forgive me?"

"of course i can, you freak"

ai audios:

[jarofstyles]

22 ☹️

SCREEEECH yes bc I love drunkrry and it fits in my brain. Here’s a baby blurb

Numbers for the prompts

Patreon

----

Y/N was trying hard to pay attention to the uber location on her phone, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that was not going to happen.

Not if a large, giggly, drunk man with unsteady, gangly limbs wrapped up around her like a life support had anything to do about it.

"Baby. Babyyyyyy." A honest and true whine came from her boyfriend's mouth, fingers squeezing her sides and somehow burrowing his face closer into her neck. "S'enough. The car will- it'll come when it comes. I want y'to hug me back." If he wasn't attached to her, she was positive he would have stomped his foot on the sidewalk.

It was cold out, his arms underneath the jacket she had stolen from his closet earlier. His fingers had wiggled their way under her shirt and tucked under her waistband. He was being cheeky, hands on her ass under the safety of the jacket and holding the bare skin but he didn't make a move to go further. Normal clingy Harry had absolutely nothing on drunk, clingy Harry.

"I just want to be sure I'm paying attention, H." She laughed, tucking the phone into her jacket pocket. He was for sure gone, giggly and stumbly like a baby deer. Harry rarely got drunk drunk, but each time amused her more than the last. Her boyfriend was always a bit goofy and silly, but introduce alcohol it could go a few different ways. So far she had seen comedian Harry, professor of aquatic pets Harry (He watched online videos), Business mogul Harry (telling someone at the bar the deal was bad, all while not knowing a thing about the business- he was convincing), Historian Harry, DJ Harry, the list goes on. This had to be her favorite, though.

Harry just liked being loved on. Giving love, receiving it, but especially from her. When he spoke, he would make sure she was looking or listening, pouty when someone else had her eyes or ears. Once he passed the tipsy line, he was a bit of a cute little menace.

"Jus' give me a cuddle. Please?" He mewled. "I'm cold and tired and I wanna go home, but I want to cuddle." there was a pause. "Hey, when the car comes, you should sit on my lap. It'll be warmer."

"Not safe, Darling." She cooed, not wanting to upset him. He tended to cry easier in this state. "We can cuddle in bed when we get home. You need to brush you teeth and change." A shower was not going to happen, simply because she knew the moment she got in there to hold him steady he would try to grope her and insist they should do at least 'hand stuff.'

"You're no fun." He huffed, though his demeanor changed once she laid her head on his chest and hooked her arms around him, mirroring him by tucking them under his coat. Thankfully her boyfriend was a furnace. "Fine. We can cuddle at home. And kiss." The last part snuck in must have seemed smooth to her, but she could almost hear his though process.

"Alright, H. After you drink some water and brush those teeth. Can't lose the bunny teeth from rot, can we?"

"Nope." He popped the P, tugging her closer. "We won't." The words muffled as he hid his face back in her neck, one hand abandoning her ass to tuck her head right in the same place on him. "Not gonna lose any teeth annnnnd we're going to cuddle. And kiss. And maybe do hand stuff." The last not so slick add in made her bite him through his shirt lightly, making him whine.

"No. Too bad, drunky pants. Nothing until you're stone cold sober. Y'know the rules." Her stern words were ruined by how cute he was, the wet little pout making her sigh before placing a chaste peck to him. It seemed to perk him up well enough.

"Yeah... You're right. Kay. We will canoodle and do hand stuff in the morning."

[eldritch-nightmare]

Hi hi !! 🎀 anon here! May I get some HCs of Laughing Jack, Tim Wright/Masky and Jeff the Killer with an affectionate clingy s/o please and thank you! 🥹👉👈

(An unrelated note regarding last time: My job and boss is actually super cool and they said I can dye my hair!! I’m so stoked eek! <3 magenta highlights, once again, after so many years, here I come! They have been missed…)

a/n: omg yay!! happy you get to dye your hair!! <3

with an affectionate and clingy gn!s/o.

includes: laughing jack, jeff the killer, and tim wright.

warnings: uh... none... i don't think.

LAUGHING JACK.

Out of all three, Laughing Jack is definitely the most stoked about having an affectionate and clingy significant other.

My guy has terrible abandonment issues, and he can be a bit clingy himself if the mood calls for it, so to have someone who doesn't want to leave his side? Might as well return him to heaven or something, because nothing will ever get better than that.

He is equally as affectionate if we're being honest.

Yeah, he's a big scary evil clown and all that terrorizes children but he knows how to be nice to the people he likes.

Knowing that you cling to him the way you do, it helps reassure him that you don't intend on leaving anytime soon. I mean, if you wanted to leave him, then you wouldn't be clinging to him like you always seem to do, right?

And so long as you keep clinging to him like you do, then his abandonment issues will rarely ever show up and everything will be all good and a-okay.

JEFF THE KILLER.

Hm... he can't decide if he likes you being clingy or if it annoys him. He won't lie, he loves the attention and it feeds his ego whenever you praise him or call him beautiful. You being affectionate is something he knows he likes. But he's not sure if he's fond of the clingy part or not.

When he first met Nina, she was pretty damn clingy as well, and that made him grow to hate her. To be fair, he didn't harbor any feelings for her. He does harbor feelings for you, however, and it feels different when you cling to him.

There are days when he can't stand you clinging to him, and he'll make it known in a rather rude way, to be honest. But there are also days when he wants you to cling to him because sometimes, your clinging to him feels a lot more genuine than your affectionate words.

He's very 50/50 on it, and it can change by the hour, to be honest. But he's fine with it more often than he's not. Only because he likes you.

But will he ever actually tell you that he likes it? Probably not.

It'll be fairly obvious though. Jeff may be rude, but he's not exactly the best at hiding his emotions around people he feel comfortable with.

TIM WRIGHT.

Please give him time to adjust because holy shit there's no way he'll be immediately comfortable with you clinging to him. He can barely take a compliment without feeling uncomfortable, so there's no way he'll be fine with physical affection right off the bat.

He'll tense up whenever you throw your arms around him, and it'll be very awkward because he's not entirely sure what he's supposed to do. Does he hug you back or does he just stand there? He's never been super close to people like this before, so it's all still very new to him.

If he becomes too uncomfortable, he'll let you know and will definitely put some distance between the two of you until he no longer feels that way.

He doesn't feel suffocated by your affection and clingy behavior, it's just something he's struggling to get used to because, I mean, Tim does have the mindset of 'I don't deserve this type of love' so it's very hard for him to accept it.

He'll definitely distance himself from you entirely during the events of Marble Hornets because there's no way he wants you getting involved, and he already blames himself for everything that's happening. He doesn't want anything to happen to you.

And if you're still around after the events of Marble Hornets, then honestly he would need your clinginess to ground him.

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Out of The Woods

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: Seven years ago, you got more than you bargained for, and you're determined Eddie will be none the wiser.

chapter warnings: swearing, sad reader, talks of pregnancy, eddie doesn't look good here babes.

a/n: guys--GUYS. We're launching our first series! I'm so excited to bring you the feels and squeals with this one. Please enjoy this little prologue!

Prologue: Before It All

October 31st, 1986

Pamphlets and flyers litter your dorm room. Pastel colored brochures full of information that encourage you to ‘weigh your options’ and ‘make smart choices’.

Gone are the dutifully written class notes and calendar full of exam dates. Instead, new phone numbers and doctors appointments are written in their place.

“Pick up. Please, please.” You beg the universe through the receiver of a baby blue phone; it’s cord was wrapped so tightly in your palm that spiral indentations began to form on the soft skin.

There’s a tell-tale click of the answering machine on the other end, and a familiar voice temporarily drowns out your thoughts.

“Yeah you’ve reached the Munson's,” Wayne’s recording was gruff, not at all like the kind man you’d known since you were fourteen. “We ain’t home so, leave a message.”

We.

You're silenced by a high-pitched beep ringing through your ears, followed by a robotic voice.

“Answering machine full. Goodbye.”

The hollow feeling in your chest expanded. Then the call disconnected, and you were sure the phone would shatter from the sheer force it was slammed down with.

What had you done? What hadn’t you done? Why did he abandon you?

Questions that you'd turned into riddles—searching and hoping to figure out the answers to. But rhyme and reason no longer mattered, not anymore. The unfortunate truth of it all was really quite simple:

Eddie Munson no longer wanted to be a part of your life, and he certainly didn’t want you in his.

He’d made that abundantly clear two months ago. He’d used you--in more ways than one; ruined and tarnished every memory you had with him. The boy you’d known for so long, the one who knew your most guarded secrets and traumas, had abandoned you.

Worse than that, he left you grieving.

Grieving someone who was still walking and breathing and living on the same planet as you. Mourning a person who was going about their days as if nothing had changed.

Now? That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Years of friendship replayed in your mind, searching for signs and clues that could have told you he wasn't who he lead you to believe.

But there was nothing.

Eddie had been you're fiercest protector, he risked his own safety-on more than one occasion-to keep you out of harms way. No one knew you better. If we're being honest? You had loved Eddie Munson, and for a time, you were sure he loved you too.

Until he didn’t.

Until he broke all of the promises he made to you.

When he’d let you leave without a goodbye. Watched you cry and beg for an answer as to why he cut you off after…after that night.

You knew it would change everything--naively, you hoped it would be for the better.

But change comes in whatever way it wants too.

Your change is the little life growing inside of you. The one Eddie will never know about.

If he could throw you away this easily, you’d never be able to trust him with something like this. Never allow him to break this baby’s heart the way he broke yours.

This was your last attempt. Calling on fate to determine if Eddie would even be allowed to know about the little person you'd made together. When he'd ignored your call yet again, you'd had your answer.

It’ll be hard—harder than anything you’d ever dealt with back home in Hawkins. You’d have to forget that place and the people in it; leave everything behind if you wanted to give this baby a chance.

Does that make me any better than Eddie?

"Fuck him." The tears on your cheeks were wiped away on your sleeve. You’re doing it to protect someone you love.

And so you forgot.

You forgot Hawkins, pushed it to the very back of your mind and the basement of your heart. If you thought about all the people you’d left behind, your resolve would break.

"Us against the world, hm?" the melancholy wasn't lost on you as you rubbed your tummy.

Life will go on because it has too. Because nothing in this world matters as much as he or she does. You can do it. For them you're convinced you can do just about anything.

Even if you're doing it alone.

[kirain]

what do you think of this post about Gale? I saw it today and idk how to feel about it. h t t p s : // www. tumblr. com / galahadwilder / 741497332636467200

I couldn't disagree with it more, to be honest.

First of all, and I can't stress this enough, Mystra doesn't care about her followers. She cares about the state of the Weave and nothing more. If her followers don't worship her, if they're not useful to her, if they don't serve her purpose, they mean nothing to her. After she abandoned Gale, she had no interest in him until she realised she could use him to stop the Absolute—and she only wanted to stop the Absolute because it threatened the Weave. In general, Mystra doesn't care what people use magic for either, be it the most admirable heroics or the most depraved insanity you can imagine.

Case and point: Lorroakan. He is an arrogant wizard, far worse than Gale could ever hope to be, who uses magic for pure evil. When he beat Rolan, he undoubtedly used magic to do it. Do you think Mystra cared? Nope. You can help that nutjob achieve his goals, kill a demigod, turn him immortal, and give him free reign to abuse magic any way he wishes, but do you think Mystra cares? Nope. She doesn't. She doesn't care about people unless they benefit her. In fact, all three iterations of Mystra have a vast history of grooming, flat out 🍇, and the forced impregnation of unsuspecting mortal women. Despite being neutral good, Mystra is and has always been extremely vain, selfish, jealous, and problematic.

With that in mind, I'd like to break this post down piece by piece. Also, please be aware that when I use the word "you", I don't mean you specifically, anon. I'm more so addressing anyone who might be reading.

PS: Please no one harass this person's post. Their opinion is their own, and it's very respectful. At the end of the day, we're just talking about a video game.

Mystra didn't tell Gale not to juggle the torches. She didn't even tell him it was a torch. She let him go on believing it was a part of her missing Weave. Had she told him the truth, he would've stayed away. That's why he's so shocked in Act 3, when she finally reveals it's the Karsite Weave. He had no idea, and she likely never intended to tell him. She didn't before he went off in search of it, and she didn't the entire time he was locked away in his tower, scared and suffering. I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't warn him, but I can only assume it's because she expected absolute obedience, or because she was getting bored of him and wanted him to mess up.

Whatever her reasons, she didn't tell Gale to leave the orb alone because he was "worthy" already. He clearly wasn't in her eyes, because he wanted her to see him as an equal. He wanted her to share her knowledge with him, which is perfectly fair in a healthy relationship. If you're dating a god and they treat you like a worshipper—that's all you are to them. A worshipper. A plaything. You're beneath them. You're unworthy. She told Gale to leave the orb alone because she wanted him to be complacent. She wanted to keep him in servitude. That's what she wants from all of her followers, though it's even worse when it's her lover.

In almost every story where a mortal loves a god, the mortal is either ascended into the heavens or the god gives up their divinity. And this isn't even specific to gods, but also vampires, werewolves, elves, and so on. Arwen, for example, gives up her immortality to be with Aragorn. Bella becomes a vampire to be with Edward. Hercules gives up his divinity to be with Meg. Elisa Esposito becomes aquatic to be with the creature. These are common tropes because it makes the couples equal.

Mystra contradicts herself by saying Gale was "always worthy", because her actions don't reflect it. He was a worthy distraction from her job, sure, but not worthy enough for her to treat him like an equal. So in order to prove it to her, to prove his love and devotion, he went after the one thing he knew she wanted—her missing Weave. Yes, she told him not to, and I agree he should've respected that, but this is on par with a woman telling her husband not to buy a bracelet she really, really wants because it's too expensive. If your husband worked extra hours and saved up enough to buy you that bracelet, would you divorce him?

Gale was completely unaware of the danger. He basically thought he was getting Mystra a bracelet. Had she taken the time to explain it to him, the whole catastrophe could have been avoided. He was just a hopeless romantic who wanted to surprise his girlfriend and prove he belonged at her side. The same girlfriend who very well could have made him her equal and shared her knowledge, but chose not to. Why? Because she's selfish. She didn't want an equal, she wanted a servant. We know this because, if you romance and ascend Gale, he will ascend you alongside him and give you your own domain! Mystra had the power to do this, or at least the ability to slowly ease him into it, but she refused. No matter how much he pleaded and proved his devotion to her, she refused.

Mystra did not save Gale when the orb embedded itself in his chest. He survived only because it fed on his gifts. He says as much, and so does she when you go to see her at the Temple. That's why, when we first meet him, he admits he used to be better at magic. He was once exceedingly powerful, but the orb basically knocked him down to level one. Mystra was perfectly happy to let him scramble to find items to absorb, knowing that he would inevitably run out and erupt. When we give him his third item in Act 1, the orb is becoming quenchless, and he knows his time is nigh. Mystra has nothing to do with satiating the orb until Act 2 and 3, and only because he becomes her wild card.

Gale: Mystra will consider forgiveness?

Elminster: She will consider ... what she considers to be forgiveness.

Even Elminster, her most faithful Chosen, knows her "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness. It's an ultimatum. Do this for me and be welcomed into my hall, or die and literally go to hell. Why would Mystra make this offer? Well, because why else would Gale agree to kill himself only to end up in the Wall of the Faithless? How would that motivate him? Mystra didn't make this offer out of the kindness of her heart, she made it because she was desperate. Had the opportunity never presented itself, she would've let him die and suffer for all eternity, and possibly take hundreds of innocent people with him in the blast. She. Doesn't. Care. 🤷‍♀️

Now, one could argue Gale was asking for too much, but I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. First of all, Mystra showed him things no mortal has ever seen. It's only fair he'd want to share her world and learn as much as possible. Imagine if the Doctor from Doctor Who picked up some random people and took them on breathtaking adventures, but the audience got mad at them for wanting to see as much as they could. Amy, Clara, Rose, etc.—none of them could live a normal life after meeting him, and they wanted to learn as much about the universe as possible. But everyone loves those characters. They don't get mad. There's even several episodes where the companions call the Doctor out for not treating them as equals, and he admits he's wrong for doing that and adjusts his way of thinking.

I would argue that the only real divide between Mystra and Shar/Vlaakith is that Mystra doesn't inflict physical pain ... most of the time. That's it. Vlaakith and Shar only care about themselves and the effectiveness of their followers, but the exact same applies to Mystra. She is the Weave, and she only cares about the Weave; therefore, she only cares about herself. She had ample opportunity to help Gale or tell him the truth, but she didn't until it was convenient for her. The gods of D&D are basically the Greek Pantheon gods—a bunch of assholes toying with mortals, regardless of their alignment. The odd one is decent, but most are only out for themselves and their rule. Now, I will concur that Mystra is hardly the worst deity (in fact, she's unfortunately one of the better ones), but she's still not great and Gale is her victim.

To get a little controversial, I think the writers made a mistake. I know what they were going for, but I think they lost it along the way. At first, I was ready to stand with everyone and admit he belonged in the quintessential "overreaching wizard full of hubris" category, but upon researching the lore, getting to know Gale better, and doing several different playthroughs, I've come to vehemently disagree. First of all, before 5E (the current D&D edition), becoming a god was the ultimate goal for a lot of players, and that was perfectly acceptable, with many DMs providing celestial paths to make it possible. Moreover, many of the current gods were once human themselves, including Mystra!

Second, it's only hubris if you fail. Gale can ascend. He can succeed. Although it's not the canon outcome I would choose for him, he is right about the crown. He does his research and figures out how to reforge it. And he doesn't seek godhood to be worshipped, he seeks it to either free himself (and all mortals) from Mystra's chains, or for her to acknowledge and love him as an equal. His arrogance stems from insecurity; an insecurity Mystra herself planted and cultivated, and in the end he's not really arrogant atfter all. Does him wanting to be Mystra's equal make him selfish? Well, I suppose that depends on how you answer these questions:

Is your partner equal to you? If you don't think so, why are you leading them on? Why wouldn't you take steps to help them become your equal? Why are you holding them back instead of propping them up? If they show interest in your life, in your world, in the things you can do, why would you keep it to yourself, especially when you have the time and resources to share it?

Just some ambrosia for thought. 😉

[221bshrlocked]

breaking point

Pairings: Wrecker x afab!Reader

Words: 16707 (it wasn't meant to be this long but it ran away from me)

Warnings: So much fluff! Wrecker goes into 'protective mode' real hard. The old "skin-to-skin contact to stay alive' trope because why not. Slight dub-con but not really, not at all actually. Love confessions. Dirty Talk...or at least this is how I think Wrecker would sound when he's fucking your brains out. Fingering. Oral sex (female and male receiving). Safeword because I think it would be needed with someone as big and strong as Wrecker. Brief anal play. Squirting. Penetrative, Unprotected Sex (wrap the shlong before you king kong people). Manhandling. Creampie/Breeding Kink. Size Kink because let's face it, this is Wrecker we're talking about.

Prompt: "Let me see those eyes."

Summary: You and Wrecker are stuck in a storm when Wrecker leads the two of you into an abandoned cabin. The both of you try to keep warm until Hunter and Tech find a way to come to you without crashing the Marauder. You manage to get some rest, but it seems that your bodies crave each other even while you're sleeping. And to no one's surprise, it's your breaking point.

A/N: @imarvelatthestars, I promised you one last one and here it is. It's so so late and I do apologize for that. I am a sucker for this trope to be honest and I feel you you'll enjoy it too. @cloneficgiftexchange I apologize to you as well for posting this way past the deadline but I wanted to tag you any way because being a part of this gift exchange really pushed me to write more, for characters that I haven't written for before and I thought I would never write for, and I am beyond thankful for that. Do let me know if the characterization is not right and I'll make those changes.

If one of his brothers told him a day ago that you would be relying on him to survive, Wrecker would have laughed until he was crying on the ground. He would have said it wouldn’t happen in a million rotations before walking away to try and find you so you can laugh at the joke as well. But the truth of the matter was, your survival did depend on him now, not because he was smarter or had a better plan, but because of the sheer strength he could exert to get you out of a tough situation. 

Which is what was happening now. 

He glances to the side to ensure you’re still breathing, and he frowns deeply when he sees how blue your face is turning from the snow surrounding the two of you. He pushes harder through the thick layer of white preventing the two of you from reaching the cabin you spotted before the snow picked up. Kriff, if it were anyone else, Wrecker would not have been this worried about the inconvenient circumstances he found himself in. He would not have been as tense and he would have already started to complain about the lecture he was sure Hunter was going to give him upon his return to the group.

But it wasn’t just anyone. It was you. And the others would have every right to blame him if something dire were to happen to you.

None of that mattered to Wrecker though. The only thing that he cared about was your safety, and what he could do to ensure you make it through the night. He looks back again and curses when he sees you slowing down. Not thinking of how more difficult it will be for him to make a path to the cabin, Wrecker turns around and takes three large steps towards you. 

“Come here,” he doesn’t leave any room for discussion, leaning down and picking you up with ease, and grumbling to himself when he finds you too weak to argue with him. 

Maker, you were worse than he thought.

“You’re going to stay awake for me, right an’edee?” Wrecker shakes you in his arms, waiting until your eyes flutter open before he begins walking towards the cabin again. 

“Th-that bett-tter not be a- a….kriff, an ins-sult!” Your teeth shudder through the warning, and if Wrecker wasn’t so worried about the frozen tear streaks on your cheek or the dark shade of bluish purple your skin is quickly becoming, he would have laughed at the pathetic comment and joked about how little you could do to him if he were actually insulting you. Wrecker doesn’t respond, no matter how much he wishes he can tell you that he wouldn’t stand the mere thought of you dying in his arms. This was not the time to bring up his emotions, and he wouldn’t want to put you in an awkward position since it looked like you were going to be alone for the next rotation or so. 

He curses the weather, hating that Hunter was right in telling him to find shelter soon since they wouldn’t be able to come and take them. The Marauder was kriffed up as is and this weather would certainly put them all under if they were to come and rescue the two of you now. 

No, the best option was to wait it out and hope some type of miracle happens where you stay alive and the rest of the Batch comes in time to leave the planet with the two of you still breathing. 

“We’re almost there, don’t- don’t fall asleep on me.” Wrecker says as he holds you up with one arm and uses his blaster to push down on the snow and make room for his legs to do the rest. He normally had great stamina, but the weather conditions, mixed with holding you in his arms, puts a strain on his muscles. It wasn’t that you were heavy, far from it. You were always light to him as a matter of fact. No, it was the fact that you were holding on to him like he was your life line, and the proximity between your chests was sending him into a frenzy. There was armor and piles of clothes separating the two of you, but Wrecker was hyper aware of having you so close to him, and with each little harsh breath you took, he felt his cheeks flush a deeper shade of red because he can feel it so close to his jaw. 

“Wake up, doc!” He notices that your eyes have been closed for longer than a minute, and when they flutter open and frown at him, he sighs in relief. It was better to have you angry with him than dead in his arms. 

Fuck, don’t think of her dead. 

“W-wreck, if you k-keep yell-lling in m-my ears, I- I…I’ll- st-top making you t-those coo-cookies you l-like so muh-much.” A strong gust of wind passes through, making you sob in his arms and nuzzle closer into his neck, the only bit of skin you had access to. Wrecker growls in anger, the sounds emitting from your mouth making him wish the group never agreed to Cid’s stupid mission. 

Feeling you shake violently in his arms, Wrecker musters up all the energy left in his body and trudges through the mountain of snow, not paying any attention to the extreme fatigue his body was feeling as he moved faster towards the safety of the small house. 

“I can live with that, mesh’la…as long as you’re still alive.” He isn’t really paying attention to what he’s saying, and he vaguely hears you gasp at his response. Wrecker looks down and sees your eyes widen in surprise, and he shakes his head in irritation because he already knows you were still planning on joking, even now when you were quickly becoming a human popsicle. 

“W-who are you ‘nd wh-what hav-ve you done with m-my Wr-wrecker?” If he wasn’t trying to bring you to safety, Wrecker would have fallen to the ground at the sound of you calling him yours. Never in his life did he imagine he’d hear such a sentiment from you, and he hated that it happened now of all times. Your little slip is enough to push him those last few steps and when he gets to the cabin, he brushes the datapad on the side and tries to push the buttons, his patience wearing out in an instance when he notices that it was frozen over. Without bothering to find a solution to the problem, Wrecker punches the keypad twice, breaking it into pieces in an instant. He hears the sound of the metal door unlocking and he apologizes as he sets you down on your feet so he can try to slide the door open. It takes him seconds to make enough space for the two of you to enter and he pushes you through quickly before following along, immediately closing the door behind him and turning around to look for any covers. 

He sees you huddled on the ground and reaches for you right away, holding you up in his arms again as he walks around to find a place to lay you down. He notices a fireplace and wonders briefly where the owners of this house were, but he doesn’t dwell too long on that thought, prioritizing your safety over propriety. When he finds a small bed against one of the walls, he sets you down near the fireplace and moves quickly to pull the mattress from the bed, knowing that you’ll need to be as warm as possible to survive the night. He brings it near the fireplace and carries you again, setting you down on it softly before looking around to see how he can start the fire. 

“O-over th…there,” you point at the lighter on the ground near the hole in the wall and Wrecker grabs it immediately, thanking the maker that the two of you were somewhat lucky in finding this home. He sees some wood on the grate and quietly whispers his gratitude to the universe for offering him a break, and for leaving him the tools that may just keep you alive through the night. Setting aside his weapons, Wrecker takes the lighter and collects as many things lying around as he can, throwing them over the wood to get it to start burning quicker. He glances back at you and feels his heart clench tightly at the sight of your shivering form. 

Within a matter of minutes, he has the fire going, its heat reaching you enough without setting the worn-down mattress on fire. He looks for anything to cover your body with, and when he finds a bunch of sheets lying around, he brings them all over and throws them over your shuddering body. Wrecker tries his best to cocoon you beneath the sheets, but when you don’t stop shuddering, his anxiety spikes dramatically and he paces around the small space to find anything that can help him keep you warm. 

“W-wreck?”

“I’m here, just- just looking for…ahhh karabast, there’s nothing here.” His anger seeps through his worries, and he can’t find a single care to pay attention to his own cold skin, wanting to ensure you are taken care of first before he worries about himself. 

“C-come here, pl-please.” Your teeth click through the request, and Wrecker sighs heavily before making his way back to you, he sits down beside your body and pouts when he notices that you weren’t getting any warmer. 

“I don’t know how to make you feel better. I’m trying, an’edee. I really am.” His eyes are tearing up, and if it weren’t for the fact that he clearly looked extremely in distress about you and the circumstances the both of you have found yourselves in, you would have teased him about being so sensitive, and thanked him for caring so much. But he didn’t seem like he’d enjoy that now, so you try to think through several options to see if anything could be helpful now. You’re quiet for a long time, but when you feel Wrecker reach for your shoulder and massage your skin through the multitude of sheets, you remember what one of your trainers told you about extreme climates and how minimal resources can still be useful. 

“Wrecker, I- I hav-ve an id-dea.” His face lights up in an instant only to fall in a frown when he sees you begin to push away the covers from your body.

“No, you have to stay warm.” He pushes you down and shoves the covers above you again, but you shake your head and hold onto his wrists to get him to listen to you. 

“Wreck, we…we need t-to sha-are body he-heat. This will…oh kriff, we’ll b-both be wah-warm.” He gives you a strange look before studying his own body, his eyes shifting down to see how he could possibly help you right now. 

“But…the armor is cold. How will that help you?” His question is genuine, and you simultaneously love and hate how innocent he continues to be even now. 

“You n-need to tah-take off your-r arm-or ‘nd…and clothes. S-so do I.” 

The world stills as soon as Wrecker understands what you’re telling him, and he removes his hand from your shoulders, unsure of how he should go about this new predicament. He turns away from you, wiping the tears from his eyes before searching the room one last time to see if he missed anything. He feels one of your hands reach for his own from beneath the covers, but he doesn’t dare look your way, afraid of what he’ll find if he meets your gaze. 

“Wrecker, s-sweetheart.”

His breath hitches in his throat at the pet name, but he continues to avoid you, knowing that he will break down immediately if he were to look into your eyes now and see how vulnerable you’re being with him. 

“Let me see those eyes.” He can never deny you any request. It was something he learned to accept early on ever since you were brought on as a medic to his group. Whatever you asked of him, he would do in an instance, not wanting to give you any trouble and wishing you could see the dedication and adoration he constantly held for you. 

With the utmost reluctance, Wrecker looks down at you and finds you smiling deeply at him. He hates that you’re still doing your job and trying to support him through his panic. You weren’t the one supposed to take care of him now, but the opposite. 

“Tr-trust me?” You whisper the question, waiting until he nods in response before you kick the covers away and begin to take your clothes off, layer by excruciating layer. Just as you remove your gloves, Wrecker stands to his height and makes quick work of his armor. When he’s down to his long sleeve shirt and cargo pants, he pauses and looks down at you, only to find you still very much clothed. 

“W-what’s wrong?” He asks while studying your muscles, hating the way you smile reassuriangly at him yet again to calm him down. 

“I- I can’t se-eem to t-take off m..my clothes. Yo-you’ll have to- to he-lp me.” 

In his defense, he reacted much less dramatically than he thought he would if he were to ever hear you request such a thing from him. Without meaning to, Wrecker drops the last piece of armor to the ground as soon as he registers your words, the harsh, loud sound of plastoid hitting the hard floor making you jump and frown up at him. He vaguely hears you curse beneath your breath before you shake your head and move your hands in a gesture that is meant to make him move quicker. 

“A-are you sure?” Wrecker knows it’s a stupid question. He was literally about to cuddle with you, so this didn’t really matter. But he wants to make sure he understands you clearly so he doesn’t think over his actions later on and wonder if he accidentally did something that made you uncomfortable with him. 

“Wreck…hu-rry up and strip s-so you ca-n he-help me.” You whine at him, shivering violently on the mattress when the sound of the wind picks up and begins to shake the house. Wrecker swallows the lump in throat before he listens to you and removes his clothes. 

So busy trying to think of anything else but the feeling he will have to endure when he has you in his arms, Wrecker doesn’t notice the way your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he takes his shirt and pants off to reveal his muscular, gigantic build to you. It was no surprise that the man was big. Hell, you often relied on his size and how easy it is for him to do something as mundane as carry an entire crate of weapons by himself. But looking at him now, in nothing but a pair of tight underpants, you can help but gawk at him hungrily, your heart threatening to freeze in your ribcage at the sight of his muscles tensing and flexing with each small movement he makes. His gorgeous skin is littered with scars, ones you wish you could spend your time healing so he doesn’t feel any more pain from them. But perhaps the worst of it all, you realize you don’t really want to fix any of them because they made him so perfect, so special and unique to you. 

It’s what made you favor him out of the others.

The fact that he was hurt so many times and still kept that optimistic, humorous side of him shining brighter than the trauma and pain he’s dealt with throughout his entire life. You had it bad for him from the beginning, from the first time he joked about your height and how you couldn’t possibly be a medic because of how cute you looked.

Kriff, you didn’t think this through. 

You were about to feel him wrap his entire body around you and you would have to sit there and deal with the impure thoughts and your own body’s reactions to being so close to him. You would have to keep yourself in check through an entire night of having skin-to-skin contact with the one man in this universe that you longed to feel more intimately. Everywhere. 

“Hey, you okay?” Wrecker’s gruff voice snaps you out of your haze and you nod frantically at him before motioning for him to come and help you with your clothes. When he kneels down beside you, you do your best to avoid eye-fucking him any further, a task that becomes difficult with each second he spends kneeling beside you and giving you a perfect view of his thick thighs and muscular arms, and those kriffing tight underpants that leave nothing to the imagination. 

You shift your attention to his fingers as they undo the fastenings on your clothes, and you think that his hands might be shaking as he begins to remove your outer robes but you brush the thought aside. No, it couldn’t be. He was probably just nervous for you, maybe even cold now that he was nearly naked, nothing more. He definitely didn’t share your feelings. 

As he begins to reveal your skin to the harsh, cold air, your teeth tap against each other more violently, making him whisper the softest of apologies to you each time he removes a layer from your shivering body. It’s only when he has you down in nothing but a shirt and the thermal leggings you wore beneath your cargo pants that he stops touching you and removes his hands from your body. 

“W-what’s the matt-tter?” You ask hesitantly, afraid he was seeing something that you weren’t aware of. 

“I uhh, I wanted to ask if you’re sure about this. Before I- before I take off any more of your clothes.” If you weren’t near hypothermia, you would have told him that he was such an adorable gentleman for wanting to receive consent from you one last time. But with each second that passes and you shudder in your own skin, your patience thins out. So you do the only thing you know will get him to see how much you need him. 

You beg. 

“Please…Wrecker, I- I need you. N-need your war-rmth, need to f-feel you ag-ainst me.” You reach out for his hands and bring them to your shirt once more, barely holding back from sobbing when you see his expression shift instantly to one of-

Well, you weren’t actually sure of the look he was giving you now. 

It doesn’t matter, however, because Wrecker jumps into action right away, dragging the edge of your shirt above your arms and throwing it aside before getting to work on your pants. You clench your thighs when you hear the sound of the zipper coming undone, but remember that you don’t want to make him uncomfortable by how unholy your thoughts were.

Little did you know that as Wrecker pulled down your pants and chucked them aside, he was having similar thoughts as you. With each bit of skin he revealed to his gaze, he had to think of anything other than how soft you’d feel against his skin. He can feel his cock harden in his underpants, and the last thing he wanted was to make this night worse by looking like a creep who just wanted to take advantage of a wounded woman in his arms. Wrecker bites into his cheek to focus on anything but how pretty you looked. It’s only when he hears you whine his name again that he snaps out of his haze and looks down at you. 

Fuck. 

He should have been more careful when he tugged the shirt above your head. 

“Uhhh is- is that supposed to be this loose?” Wrecker points at the chest band slowly unraveling from around your breasts and he turns away immediately when you look down and see what he’s referring to. 

“For k-kriff’s sake Wreck, I- I’m about to d-die and you…you’re wor-rried about my b-boobs?” He has every right to be embarrassed. He knows that. You know that. The stupid winds outside know that. But unfortunately for him, you often cracked jokes when you also felt embarrassed, and this situation was definitely the worst moment in your life. 

Never in your life did you think Wrecker would take your clothes of so you can stay alive and not to fuck your brains out. 

Thankfully, the house creaking and shaking brings the two of you back to reality and Wrecker looks down at your body once more, quietly studying you for a moment before growling something beneath his breath as he moves beside you. He makes sure that he’s on your right side and not your left so you can have access to the fireplace, and you nearly cry from how thoughtful he’s being. But then you feel his skin slide against your own and your flesh erupts in goosebumps, ones that you know Wrecker will notice and wonder why they weren’t present before. He slips beside you and puts his arm out, shutting his eyes in pain when you immediately turn in his arms and cuddle your whole body into his side. He can feel your hair tickle his inner arm and he smiles to himself for a moment, pretending that you were currently laying nearly on top of him because you wanted to and not because you had to. 

Then you bring your whole lower body against him and slip your leg in between his thighs and he almost jumps out of the bed and away towards the fire. 

“Ah karabast, you’re so cold!!” He yells dramatically, looking down at you and regretting his comment when he sees the guilty look that overtakes your pretty features. You remove your hand from him and begin to turn away, but he is much quicker than you, grasping your wrist and bringing you back against his chest until you’ve settled down again. 

“I’m sorry an’edee, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His apology is too sweet to your ears, and you brush it aside to keep a hold on yourself. Wrecker mistakes your avoidance for discomfort and he feels bad for being stuck with you. He may have only had one eye but he wasn’t blind to your reactions, or those of the women the batch often came in contact with. 

Everyone loved Hunter, it was hard not to. His brother was arguably the best looking, and even Crosshair got more attention back during the war. Women tended to like the bad-body aura they both exuded. But him…no, he rarely received a second glance. People would complain either about his size or how childish he was. They were never interested in him. 

And he hated that this wasn’t any different now. Wrecker pouts as he slowly wraps the arm you’re resting your cheek on around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his chest so you don’t see the sad look he is sure he is sporting now. He quickly pulls the covers above the two of you, tucking you in to the best of his abilities before looking up at the ceiling to avoid any eye contact with you. 

You’re still shaking in his arms, but as time goes by, Wrecker feels you relax in his arms and grow warmer. Before the end of the hour, your feet and legs are nowhere near as cold as they were when he came into bed with you. He thanks the maker that your plan worked, and although he’s a little cold himself, he thinks nothing of it and checks on you every once in a while, sneaking a few glances at you to see if you’re still awake. 

“Maker, I thought I’d never feel my toes again.” You break the silence all of a sudden, making Wrecker look down at you and smile when he feels you wiggle your feet against his calves. Even now he’s much taller than you, and you have to tilt your head back farther than normal to get a proper look at him. 

“Thank you Wreck, you saved my life.” You smile at him, nuzzling into his biceps when he returns the expression and taps your shoulder twice to let you know that he didn’t mind. 

“It was nothing, mesh’la. I’m just glad you’re still alive and breathing.” There it goes again, the slip of the tongue he always experienced when you looked at him with those beautiful, innocent eyes of yours. 

“What do those words mean?” You don’t realize you’re drawing random patterns on his chest until you ask him the question and he completely misses it, his focus never wavering away from your fingers or his chest. 

“Huh?”

“I’m assuming they’re Mando’a, but I don’t know what they mean.” At the mention of his native language, Wrecker’s eyes widen in horror and he turns away from you, choosing to stare at the opposite wall as if it was much more interesting than the conversation now. 

“It’s uhhh, it’s nothing. Don’t- don’t worry about it.” Wrecker attempts to distract you, but you’re determined to know what they mean. Something about the way his tone of voice turns gentler when he says those words makes you think that they’re special nicknames, perhaps even ones that a lover would call his significant other to convey how much they care. 

“If you’re calling me something bad, I swear I won’t talk to you anymore.” You mean to joke with him, tease him a little to get him to tell you what those words mean. But Wrecker takes your response to heart, and he meets your gaze suddenly, his eyes swimming with an anxiety that rivaled his worries for you hours ago. He squeezes your shoulder tightly, and you know he isn’t aware of what he’s doing because he turns fully in your arms and makes sure you’re staring right at him before he replies. 

“I would never call you something bad. You have to know that! I- I just…I can’t tell you what they mean.” His voice is filled with panic, and you feel bad for teasing him too much. Before he can throw himself in a frenzy again, you reach out and cup his cheek softly, rubbing the corner of his lips with your thumb to soothe his worries away. 

“I was only kidding Wrecker, I didn’t mean it. I know you’d never say anything bad about me, I was just joking.” You enunciate every syllable, wanting to make sure he fully accepts that you were only messing around with him and don’t actually believe he’d say something rude to you. 

“You promise?”

“Yeah, yeah I promise.” 

You look into his eyes for what feels like hours, and as you lean into his space, eyes searching his own for any hesitation to how close you’re moving into him, a loud cackling sound emits from the fireplace and scares the two of you. Wrecker goes into protective mode instantly, pulling you harder into his chest and wrapping his other arm around your back to keep you safe. He doesn’t mean to be aggressive in the way he handles you, but when he takes hold of the back of your neck and shoves you into the space between his shoulder and his neck, you gasp at how easy it is for him to take control of you, how natural it felt to touch him so intimately and have him grab you with such intensity. Instead of reassuring him that you’re fine, you give in to the moment and wrap your arm around his waist, not bothering to get it around his whole back and instead choosing to roam your hand over the muscles contracting and flexing beneath his skin. He remains still for a while, and you smile when you realize it’s probably because he wants to make sure that the fire wasn’t about to spill out and burn the whole place down. 

Taking in a deep breath, you rub your thighs together when the scent of his musk, mixed with whatever soap he uses to wash himself, hits your senses, nearly driving you into a lust filled haze because of how spicy and sweet his smell is to your desperate senses. You’re about to stick your tongue out and lick across his jugular when Wrecker pulls you back and rests you on the mattress again. He’s still eyeing the fireplace, but when he looks down and meets your eyes, his nervousness comes crashing down with a force of a thousand battle droids. He stops breathing immediately, taking in the sight of your dilated pupils and parted lips, and wishing you were reacting this way because he held you in his arms and not because you were afraid of the fire cackling behind you. 

His eyes move to your lips for a split second, but he remembers his plan of not being creepy with you and decides to lay back down again. You clear your throat and rest your cheek on his chest once more, avoiding any and all eye contact with him so you don’t accidentally do something that crosses the boundaries between the two of you and makes him regret every helping you out. 

“Get some rest, an-” he stops himself before he says the rest of the pet name, shaking his head before turning his attention to the ceiling again. “Get some rest, doc.”

“Good night, Wreck.” You whisper against his skin, accidentally grazing your lips against his pectorals and sending a fresh wave of arousal down his spine, one that shoots straight to his cock and hardens him in a matter of seconds. He thanks the heavens that he isn’t spooning you now, knowing that you would probably feel his hard-on if you were in a more compromising position than the one you chose. 

“Hmm.” Wrecker doesn’t dare try to speak again, knowing that if he were to attempt and form a longer response, he’d either give in and confess his feelings, or throw all caution aside and show you what he’s been thinking of doing to you ever since he met you. 

He shuts his eyes to get some rest, but as the night goes on, and the wind doesn’t stop howling outside, Wrecker barely manages to sleep. Even worse, each breath you take sends a shiver down his spine, and he looks at you every once in a while, unable to hold himself back from enjoying the close proximity to you. He can feel your skin growing warmer as time goes by, and he thanks the Force for allowing him to be the one helping you. 

Then his eyes trail down and see the top of your breasts and the smile drops from his face. Wrecker swallows the lump in his throat, and he unintentionally squeezes your shoulder tightly to bring you closer to him. The action makes you groan, and Wrecker fears that he’s woken you. He stops breathing, afraid that the slightest motion of his chest rising and falling will wake you up. A few minutes pass by and when he’s sure you’re still asleep, he forces his muscles to relax, only for his entire body to go rigid again as soon as you let go of him and roll on your back. 

His eyes widen in horror when he notices the band around your chest sliding down your breasts and revealing more of your soft skin to him. Wrecker turns away immediately, not wanting to take advantage of the trust you clearly had in him. He slams his hand over his eyes, silently wishing for a miracle to happen so his mind doesn’t go insane. He has you so close to him, touching him where he dreamt for so long, but you were still out of reach. 

The sudden movement of your whole body makes him panic and he looks down in time to see you turn around and face the fire. You nearly topple from the mattress towards the source of heat, but Wrecker quickly wraps his arm around your waist to keep you from accidentally burning yourself. You stop moving for a moment, and he sighs in relief, wondering to himself how you managed to stay alive all this time when you were so clumsy. He tries to slide his arm away from your stomach but your hand is immediately on him, pulling him back against you. Wrecker grumbles to himself, tugging his arm a little harshly so this night remains in tact, more or less, but you’re even more aggressive in your sleep, and without caring for the strain you’re putting on the man behind you, you grab his arm and pull it hard, sending his entire body crashing into your back and engulfing you in his heat. 

Wrecker can’t believe what’s happening to him, and he sits up on his elbow to see if you were awake and just playing a joke on him. But as he suspected, you’re fast asleep, snoring lightly and enjoying the heat you were receiving from all sides. He looks around to see if there’s anything he can place between your backside and his crotch, knowing that the longer he remains this close to you, the more his body will react to your proximity without thinking much of the consequences. He lays back down and puts as much space between your bodies as he can, and it works for a while too. Wrecker is on high alert now, knowing he won’t get an ounce of sleep out of fear of doing something to you while he’s unconscious. 

The loud thundering of the snowstorm makes you jolt in his arms, and he’s about to check on you to make sure you’re alright when you scoot closer to him, until there isn’t an inch between your back and his front. Wrecker frowns, slamming his head down on the pillow and willing himself to think of anything but how perfect and warm and soft you feel in his arms. To make matters worse, you hug his arm and bring it to your face, nuzzling into his wrist as sleep continues to overtake your mind and torture the poor soul trying to keep you alive. Wrecker can almost feel the rise and fall of your breasts with each breath you take, and he shivers when your breath roams over the sensitive skin of his wrist every couple of seconds. You’ve completely taken over his mind and body, and you weren’t even aware.

“Kriff,” he whispers to himself, regretting ever coming on this mission with you. Before tonight, he had to conjure up dreams of having you the way he always wanted to. But after this night, he’d have to live on as if he didn’t know exactly how you felt in his arms, how sweet you smelled to him, how easy it would have been to tease you until you’re awake before begging you to touch him the way he wished. He’d have to pretend that tonight didn’t mean the world to him. 

The nostalgia that hits him is unbearable, and it’s enough to calm his body, as if the thoughts of the future built a wall between him and you, one that was convincing enough to have him not react so viscerally to you. 

Wrecker shuts his eyes, surrendering himself to the floral scent of your hair and allowing your warmth to finally lull him to sleep. 

It’s hours later, but too soon for him, when he finally jolts awake from the best sleep he’s ever gotten in his life. A quick glance outside lets Wrecker know that it may be the morning but the storm was very much still roaring outside. He looks behind him to see if he’s received any coms from Hunter, and when he doesn’t see any flashing lights signaling a message from him, he rests back down and yawns tiredly, shutting his eyes once more to try and steal some rest again. 

A soft moan fills the silent room, and although it is barely audible, it sounds like an alarm to Wrecker’s ears. He’s wide awake in an instant, his mind trying to understand whatever sound just emitted from you, and when he decides that it may have been a figment of his imagination, you roll your ass against him and push your lips into his wrist, groaning into the damp skin too lewdly for the man behind you to ignore. 

Wrecker freezes, his muscles tensing painfully beneath his taut skin as soon as he feels you grind into him harder. For a brief moment, he thinks this may just all be a dream, a beautiful, unadulterated sensation his mind was conjuring up in his sleep because of the proximity he held with you. But then your tongue sweeps over the pulse point on his wrist and Wrecker knows he’s wide awake. 

He’s wide awake, and you are touching him as if he belonged to you. 

As if you belonged to him. 

The hand on your hip squeezes you, sending a jolt of hot energy down your spine and making you push your body into Wrecker’s front even more. 

“Kriff,” he swears beneath his breath, shutting his eyes and surrendering to the pleasure for a second. 

But the second becomes two…then three…then four.

And before he knows it, Wrecker is rolling his clothed, hard cock into the curve of your ass, biting into his cheek to silence himself from spilling compliments of how perfect you feel against him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows this is wrong, that he shouldn’t be taking advantage of your unconscious form as you unintentionally used him to please yourself. Wrecker knows, more than anything, that he should remove himself from you and wake you up so things don’t become awkward between the two of you. 

 But you feel so kriffing good against him, and he’s only dreamt of having you like this for hundreds of rotations. 

“Hmm, please….W-wreck, I need more.” 

The whispered words are all he needs to snap out of the haze you’ve thrown him into, and without meaning to, Wrecker pushes up on his elbows and questions what you just said rather loudly. 

“What was that?” 

The sound of his gruff, booming voice wakes you in an instant, and you sit up quickly, immediately grabbing for the nearest object you can find to defend yourself from whatever is happening. You look around confusingly, adjusting your eyes to the reddened darkness around you. When you realize nothing is trying to kill you, you turn around and look at Wrecker to ask him why he nearly made you deaf. 

All questions roaming around your mind evaporate into thin air when you look him over and take in the disheveled state he’s in. His skin is glistening with sweat, and you wonder briefly if it is because he runs hot in general or if this was because of how close you were to him for the past few hours. You blink the sleep from your eyes as you study him further, and before you can remind yourself that you shouldn’t be ogling him so openly, your attention shifts south and you notice a prominent tent in his underpants, one that sends your heart fluttering wildly in a matter of seconds. 

Maker, you knew the man must have been proportional, but nothing could have prepared you for how blessed he is. 

The thought of touching him, feeling him beneath the palm of your hands as you made him whimper your name in ecstasy, instantly reminds you of what you were dreaming. You feel your face flush with heat as you recall the filthy images your mind conjured up while you were asleep. You knew being in his arms would probably throw you into a horny frenzy, but you didn’t think it would be so instantaneous, so vivid. You could almost feel his cock push against your pulsing core, and you clench your thighs together to alleviate the pressure building inside you. It’s only when you hear Wrecker clear his throat that you remind yourself to keep it together. The last thing you want is to give him any inclination of what you were dreaming of, and you knew for a fact there would be no escaping the awkwardness any time soon, not until the rest of the Batch rescued you. 

“Umm, you- you should fix your-” Wrecker doesn’t finish the sentence, and you blink at him for a few seconds, wondering what he could possibly be going on about. You follow where he’s pointing, and nearly fall backwards in horror when you look down and see the chest binding no longer covering your breasts. You cross your arms around your chest instantly, all the while trying to figure out how to fix the band without giving Wrecker an eyeful of your skin. 

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look.” Wrecker breaks through the frantic movement, and you look up to see if he was being genuine or teasing. You can tell immediately how apologetic he is from the way he’s staring down at the sheets beneath you, and the pout he was unintentionally seducing you with. 

“It’s okay, it’s not like you tugged on them or anything.” You try to diffuse the tension with a chuckle, but Wrecker continues to avoid you, his frown only deepening the longer you try to fix the binding. 

“Wrecker, is everything okay?” You give up on covering yourself, and instead drag the sheets from around you, wrapping them haphazardly around your shoulders to hide the effects your body is undergoing from being so close to Wrecker. 

“I’m sorry an’edee,” if you didn’t know better, you’d think Wrecker was apologizing for the predicament you found yourselves in. But from the way he was avoiding your gaze, and how tense his muscles remained even now, you know there’s something else on his mind. 

“For what?”

“I touched you…while you were sleeping. I- I didn’t mean to, I swear. It’s just…you felt so good, so warm and…perfect. I tried to stop, believe me I did…but you kept moving against me and teasing me with those sweet sounds, and I nearly lost it. Then you moaned my name and told me you wanted more and I-...I just wanted to feel you.” Wrecker looks up for a second, and when he sees the way your eyes are glazed over in shock, perhaps even disgust, he turns his sight away and hunches over to make himself appear smaller so you don’t think he’ll try anything with you. 

It’s quiet for longer than he likes, but Wrecker swears he won’t try to make any more excuses, especially since it wasn’t really your fault that you were touching him so intimately in your sleep. It didn’t take a genius to know that no one is ever truly in control of their dreams, so he couldn’t fault you for what you were doing. 

He was the one who was awake. He had full control of himself and you. 

And he chose to betray your trust. 

Regret and turmoil roll off of him in violent waves, making you wish you were brave enough to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. You aren’t sure what exactly he did while you were sleeping, but you know that he didn’t cross any lines you’d consider awfully inappropriate. As far as you were concerned, his underpants were still on, and so were yours. He even apologized for looking at your chest while trying to warn you about your binding. There was no way he wouldn’t tell you if he did something more. 

You trusted him that much. 

A hundred responses brush through your mind, but you know he won’t feel better until he’s made aware of the reason behind your own behavior. There was no way out of this that wouldn’t be awkward for you, or him, or worse…both of you. 

“It’s not your fault, Wrecker.”

“I was awake, and you were sleeping. It is my fault.” He furrows his eyebrows as he looks up at you, only for his body to relax completely when he sees you biting your lower lip and slowly letting go of the sheets around you. He glances to the side to give you some bit of privacy, swallowing the lump in his throat when you shift around until you’re kneeling in front of him, completely nude except for the fabric covering your lower half. He can almost see your skin from his periphery, but he keeps his gaze away from you, afraid of how he’d react if he were to look upon you again. 

“But…I was the one dreaming of you Wreck. I- I was the one moaning your name to try and get you to fuck me harder in my dream.” The words fall from your lips easily, and you feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders as soon as Wrecker slowly turns to look at you, disbelief and hope etched on his beautiful features as his mind registers what you just confessed to him. 

“I was the one begging you to make me cum…gods, I needed it so badly Wrecker, and I could feel you bringing me close to that sweet pleasure. I was so close, but then you woke me.” You hope you aren’t making a mistake by revealing to him your heart’s desires, mostly because you’re not sure what you would do if he turned you down now. 

Like everything else, it takes a second for Wrecker to react, but he doesn’t respond the way you think he would. He looks in between your eyes as he slowly reaches for your hands. You look down to see what he’ll do, and nearly feel your heart leap out of your chest when he brings both of your palms to his cheeks and shuts his eyes. 

“I didn’t think you wanted me…not- not in the way I wanted you.” For a man who always had a lot to say, you’re surprised he responds with such a simple confession of his own and not something more dramatic. 

“How could I not want you? You’re amazing.” You don’t hesitate, not in your words, nor in the way you move closer to him until you’re straddling his thighs. Wrecker’s breath hitches, and you smirk at him as you throw your arms over his broad shoulders and kiss the corner of his mouth. 

His arms are around you soon after, nearly crushing you with the weight and strength of them as they wrap tightly around you and bring you flush against him. You feel your nipples harden as the hair across Wrecker’s chest slides against your breasts, and before you can say anything else, Wrecker smashes his lips with your own, swallowing your surprised moans as he shoves his tongue in your mouth and finally tastes you. 

You’re shocked by how forward he suddenly becomes, but you don’t dare question the spike of confidence coursing through his veins, knowing that he might turn shy again if he so much as smells reluctance on you. Giving into his possessive touches, you part your lips and let him have full control of every inch of you. The passion he offers you is overwhelming, but you don’t dare ask him to calm down, the need to feel him overpowering you and taking everything he wants from you outgrowing any thoughts you had regarding your safety. 

Wrecker can’t believe you’re in his lap, grinding down on him as you allow him to kiss you just as he dreamt he would if he ever had you naked and willing in his arms. He breaks the kiss to allow the two of you to breathe, but as he’s about to lunge for you again, his eyes roam down your body and watch as a bead of sweat rolls down your neck, to your sternum, until it slows down in between your heaving breasts. He forgets how to breathe for a moment, the sight of your hardened nipples awakening something deep inside him, something that whispers for him to bite and lick across your chest until you’re screaming his name. 

Without a warning, Wrecker leans down and licks across your breast before taking your nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting on the sensitive peak until he feels your nails rake across his shoulders, down the muscles of his arms. He growls at your touch, grazing his teeth over your flushed skin until you’re moaning his name again. 

“Oh my maker, W-wreck…your mouth feels so good.” You throw your head back, giving Wrecker more access to your skin so he can mark it as he likes. Wrecker doesn’t waste a second, leaving marks with his teeth and hands over every inch he can reach, and before you know it, he’s laying you down and settling in between your thighs. You grab the sheets beneath you in an attempt to hold onto whatever sanity is still left in you, but as Wrecker drags his calloused palms down your body and over your thighs, you can’t help but think of how he’d feel when he finally takes you. 

“Wreck…I need you. Need you to fuck me, please.” You open your eyes far enough to look down and watch as Wrecker digs his fingers into the flesh of your thighs and stomach, waiting until visible marks appear on your skin before he moves to another part of you that isn’t bearing his mark just yet. He looks up and meets your eyes for a second, and you think he’s finally going to put you out of your misery and take what he wants. 

But he doesn’t move a muscle, waiting until he has your undivided attention before he speaks again. 

“I need to get you ready for me an’edee…then I’ll give you what you want.” The words fall from his lips like sin, and if your mind wasn’t completely engrossed in the sensations Wrecker was bringing to your body, you would have asked him where he learned to talk like that. 

And you’re about to inquire after that too, but you feel his fingers slip beneath your panties and slowly tug them down, and you cease to breathe, watching closely as Wrecker doesn’t break eye contact while rolling the article of clothing down your legs before discarding them behind him. Neither of you say anything for what feels like forever, but as soon as Wrecker begins to lean down, you reach for his chin and hold it in the palm of your hand. 

“Wait.”

“You- you don’t want me to-”

“It’s not that.” You cut him off before he thinks you’re having any doubting thoughts of what the two of you are doing.

Wrecker stares at you with nothing but confusion, and you hate how such a simple, boyish expression can bring you to your knees if you weren’t already on your back. 

“I want to taste you too.” You bite into your lower lip in an attempt to hide the embarrassing admission. If Wrecker is surprised by what you just said, he doesn’t say anything, instead sitting back up and grabbing your legs so he could roll you on top of him. You squeal in shock at the sudden movement, but say nothing as he lays down where you were a second ago, with you straddling his hips. 

“Wrecker?”

“Turn around for me an’edee.” He orders with a glint of mischief in his eyes, making you look down at him with furrowed eyebrows. You’re not sure what he’s planning, and Wrecker sits up on his elbows to get a better look at you. 

“You said you wanted to taste me, and I won’t give up what I had in mind either. So, turn around for me.” He states again, as if the brief description was all you needed to understand what he wants from you. It’s only when he tilts his head to the side as he slowly brings the palm of his hand in between your thighs do you finally catch on to what he’s thinking. Your eyes widen in horror at the position Wrecker wants you to get into, mostly because you never thought he’d be the type of person to be so open with what he’d like to try, let alone have you so bare and exposed to him. The man was always particularly shy around you, something you noticed early on when he’d hesitate before chatting up with you. You never thought he would be so forward now, especially since this was new terrain for the both of you. 

“You mean you…you want me to- you know,” you point at his face and support your weight on his chest when he pushes you up with his hips to get you to move more quickly.

“Sit on my face baby, let me get you nice and wet for me.” Wrecker growls the order one last time, smiling wickedly at you when you swallow the lump in your throat as you begin to move atop him. He waits patiently for you to turn around and straddle his waist again but facing away from him. As much as he wants to grab your ass and pull you on his face, he waits until you get comfortable with the new position before he slides his fingers down your back to the top of your glutes.

It’s too soon for you, but not nearly soon enough for Wrecker, when you finally reach down and lay your hands over his thighs. The tent on his underpants is more painfully prominent at this point, and you feel bad for dragging out this moment this much. 

Wrecker massages your skin, and when he’s sure you won’t jump away from his touch, he slowly pulls your body towards him until your thighs perfectly frame his face. 

Whatever he pictured in his mind comes nowhere near what he is gazing upon now, and he forces himself to reel back the comments threatening to flow from his mouth so he doesn’t end up scaring you with how much he wants you. It’s when he takes a long whiff of your scent that he finally registers your small fingers tracing the length of him through the fabric keeping him from your eyes. He groans your name with a low whisper, equal parts turned on by nearly tasting you on his tongue and the sensation you were currently bringing upon him. 

“Please baby,” you’re not sure if he’s begging you to take him in your mouth or asking you to bring yourself closer to him so he can taste you, but you don’t find it in yourself to care, not when you finally had Wrecker so enthusiastic and excited beneath you, ready to cause havoc on your willing body. Without wasting another second, you slip your fingers beneath the elastic band of the edge of his briefs and push them as far down as he allows you to, aggressively tugging on the sides as well until the material is around his thighs and away from where you’re dying to have him. 

“Oh fuck me!” 

Like earlier, you are perfectly aware that Wrecker must have been packing a dangerous weapon. No man his size wouldn’t be, especially with how confidently he carried himself all the time. But nothing would have prepared you for the sheer girth and length of him. Slowly bringing your hands to his cock, you chuckle to yourself when you realize you can’t even wrap your fingers around the whole of him, the laugh turning into a long sigh as you notice just how much he was going to stretch you, how deep he was going to claim you when he finally fucks you like you dreamt. 

“That’s the plan sweetheart!” Wrecker mumbles from in between your thighs, his breath sending a fresh wave of arousal across your body and making you wish he was already fucking you within an inch of your life. You’re about to retort in kind when you feel his tongue swipe across your folds, the rough muscle sending spikes of heat up your spine and making you fall unceremoniously into his dick. You let out a sigh of relief, mumbling incoherently when Wrecker chuckles, presumably with pride, at the effect he was having on you just by the mere touch of his tongue against your engorged clit. He pulls away for a brief second, commanding you to take him in your mouth before going back to it again and slowly fucking you with his tongue 

“Wrap your pretty lips around my cock, an’edee.” He barely enunciates before he’s diving into your cunt again, ripping a guttural cry of pleasure from your throat, one that makes you realize he needn’t do much to have you at his will. With as much confidence as your body can muster up, you lean over and purse your lips until enough saliva collects on your tongue. Parting them slightly, you watch as your drool stretches from your mouth to the head of his cock, coating the angry tip of his dick before sliding down his length. It must be a surprise to Wrecker because he unintentionally bucks his hips into the air, sending his cock just a little closer to your mouth. Taking advantage of his momentarily distracted mind, you lean down and open your lips as wide as possible, barely managing to engulf them around him. 

Wrecker growls his pleasure, throwing his head back for a second before returning his assault on your pussy with blind determination. You nearly forget you’re meant to be pleasuring him as well when you feel his teeth graze your clit, and as he starts sucking on the bundle of nerves violently, you can’t help but whine around his cock. The sound is music to his ears, and he widens his legs even more before bending his knees and resting his feet flat against the beat-up mattress. His stance scares you briefly, but you realize that he isn’t moving his hips or trying to push his cock deeper, his self-awareness somehow making you wish he would take advantage of the control he has on you and fuck your face until you choke around him. 

The thought doesn’t leave your mind as you swirl your tongue around the bulbous head of his dick, and you stretch your palms to try and wrap them around him, hoping that you can pleasure the length of him without your mouth. His chest shakes beneath your stomach, and you don’t realize you’re rolling your hips on his tongue until Wrecker whispers how good you taste and how perfect you’re being for him. 

You want him to feel equally satiated, and as you lower one of your hands to cup his balls, Wrecker forgets he’s meant to be controlling his touches and thrusts up into your mouth, sending more drool down your chin and onto his cock with how far back he managed to reached. He knows what he’s done immediately, and he pulls you off of him, resting his hips back down so he’s far away from your mouth. 

“Fuck, I- I’m so sorry love. You just s-surprised me and- I didn’t mean it. I swear I would never try to-”

“Wreck…” The sound of his name falling sinfully from your lips manages to shut him up quickly, and he waits until you break the silence so he doesn’t misunderstand your moans. 

“I want you to fuck my face!” You claim with determination, nearly laughing at the way Wrecker curses beneath his breath from the sudden outburst. 

“What? It’s not…I don’t want to hurt you baby.”

“You won’t hurt me Wreck. I promise. I just really really want you to fuck my face…want you to use me for your pleasure…I want to feel you down my throat baby, so far down that when you come, I can barely taste you from how wide you’re stretch my mouth.” Wrecker could choke on air if he wasn’t already holding his breath and listening to every word intently. He can’t believe his ears, mostly because you were never one to be so bold and forward, let along unwise in your choices. 

“But…you’ll get hurt.”

“Hmm, okay h-how about this? Let’s have a safeword, yeah?”

“A safeword?” You can feel his breath on your wet cunt, and if it weren’t for the fact that you were trying to meet his concerns with a solution, you would have pushed your ass back down and rode him until you came on his tongue. 

“Yeah, a safeword. Or in this case, a gesture that equals a safeword. Since my mouth will be full of your cock, I won’t be able to speak. But if I tap your thighs three times, you pull out and let me breathe. Same goes to you of course. If I’m suffocating you or anything, you tap three times on…on-” You’re trying your hardest to keep your thoughts from going astray, but with each moment you waste, you can’t help but regret how good his dick would feel marking your throat. 

“Your ass?” You know the question is genuine, but you can’t help but laugh when it comes off a little more enthusiastic than he would like. 

“S-sure. Tap three times on my ass and I’ll get off.”

“Oh you’ll be getting off alright…on my tongue, with my fingers stretching your pretty little pussy so I can fuck you like you want.” You should have known that Wrecker would make jokes now of all times, but you clear your throat and pinch his thigh to get him back on track. 

“Focus big boy…now, and only because I don’t think I’ll have the mind capacity to think of one later, the safeword will be ‘grenade.’ Does that sound good?” You ask one last time, hoping he could answer you soon so you can get back to tasting him. 

“My kinda girl.” He laughs loudly before smacking your ass once, and just as you’re about to complain over the sudden action, Wrecker wraps both of his arms over your lower back and brings you down to his mouth again, not bothering to let up as he goes back to worshiping your cunt. 

“Oh ffff-fuck,” you scream when he wraps his lips over your clit and sucks as hard as possible while teasing your clit with his tongue. So invested in the sensations he was pushing over your body, you don’t realize he’s moving one of his arms until you feel it reach for your neck and push it down on his cock. You make a mental note of telling him later that the simple action could have brought you to your knees if you weren’t already sitting on him. For some reason, knowing that he can reach you now, since he was so much bigger and broader and taller than you, set your inside on fire, and before you can truly think over how easily he can have his way with you whenever he wants, Wrecker pushes your cheek to the side until your lips hover over his length. 

Taking in a deep breath, you prepare yourself for the onslaught Wrecker was ready to bring upon your willing form. Without thinking much of how challenging it will be to speak later, you slowly lower your mouth over his cock and stop when you think you can no longer fit him in your mouth. Proving to be a rather impressive multi-tasker, Wrecker begins to pass his tongue back and forth against your wet folds while bringing his hand to the back of your head. It’s the only warning you get before he shoves his hips up into you while pushing on your head. You can already feel the oxygen refusing to enter your system soon after, and you shut your eyes to calm yourself so you don’t freak him out. 

And just as you asked, Wrecker doesn’t hold back, immediately setting a pace that has you tearing up and choking on his dick in record time. You wrap your hands around the base of his cock, massaging his balls and pumping the rest of his length that will never feel the heat of your mouth. You’re making a complete mess of his crotch, but it seems that Wrecker rather enjoys it, only fucking your mouth harder when he begins to hear your noises increasing in sound. He doesn’t let up on you once though, keeping you against him while moving the arm your back so he can touch you better. 

You don’t expect what he does next, but as you feel his thumb circle the ring of muscle just above your cunt, you accidentally close your mouth over him, your teeth grazing the length of him ever so slightly, but hard enough to the point where Wrecker has to let go of your head to grab onto your ass. You pull off of him instantly, afraid that you’d hurt and he was about to tap out. But when his ministrations increase, and his thumb teases you even more, you decide to repay in kindness and get back to it. Kissing the tip of his cock, you lick the veins stretching up and down his length until you can catch your breath, and when you think you are ready again, you blindly reach for his hand, silently asking him to return it to your head again. 

“Are you sure?” He mumbles the question, and you moan his name once reassuringly, the only answer he requires to do as he is told. Waiting until he feels your mouth on him again, Wrecker wraps his hand over the back of your neck and pushes you down again, all the while shoving his cock with shallow thrusts into your mouth. He doesn’t go nearly as deep as earlier, but he does quicken his pace, and you realize it may be because he is desperate to finally come. You will yourself to relax your throat, not wanting to interrupt him again as he chases his orgasm. 

Wrecker is as promising in his touches as you are, and when he feels the knot in his stomach begin to unravel, he removes his fingers from your ass and sloppily collects the juices on his face before bringing two of his fingers against your entrance. As soon as he pushes his digits into your cunt, he feels your entire body melt against him completely. He smiles to himself as he matches the pace of his fingers fucking in and out of your tight pussy with the rhythm his cock slid across your heated throat. He continues for what feels like hours to you, until he knows he has you tethering between pain and pleasure. The harder you pump his length, the hotter Wrecker feels, and before he knows it, he’s adding another finger into your cunt, not caring for how abused your folds look as he shoves his thick digits far enough until you’re keeping the length of them in your sweet hole. 

He times the halt with the assault he’s bringing onto your mouth, shoving your head down and refusing to move his hips so he can relish in the way your throat constricts and clenches around his dick. 

Wrecker knows this must be what being suspended into thin air feels like, so blissful and hot and absolutely kriffing perfect. 

He refuses to push you any harder though, letting go of your head and lowering his hips down until the only thing your mouth kisses is the crown of his length. Before you can question him though, he spreads your ass cheeks apart and lunges for your clit, roughly passing his tongue back and forth on it while he continues to fuck you with his fingers. The sudden assault must be a surprise to you because Wrecker feels your hands squeeze him tightly, and before he knows it, he’s pushing his cock just a little deeper into your mouth, muscles vibrating with energy as he shoots his cum deep into your throat and coats your mouth with his seed. He’s twitching and growling beneath you, but he doesn’t ignore your pleasure, wanting you to come on his face along with him. 

He knows what to do, and as you hum around him, silently telling him that you’re pleased with how he tastes, Wrecker drags your essence across to your asshole, circling it a few times before pushing the tip of his thumb inside you. He groans over his release, and as he curls his fingers up to massage the deepest corner he can reach inside your pussy, your whole body seizes up above him and you arch your back in ecstasy, pulling off of his cock and praying his name over and over again while he makes you cum on his face. The clone wonders briefly if you’ve actually reached climax or not, unsure of your reaction since you weren’t doing much except lay your weight on him. He doesn’t wait much until he receives an answer in the form of your whole form shaking violently above him. Wrecker shuts his eyes tightly as he laps up the juices rolling on his chin, and before he knows it, he feels a stream of liquid coat his mouth and neck, one that continues baptizing him until he stops moving his fingers. You’re still twitching above him long after he paused his ministrations, and when he tries to pull out his fingers, you dig your nails into his thighs and beg him to slow down. 

“S-softly…please- oh fuck…please be g-gentle.” You whisper your requests to him, sighing in relief when he obeys your comments and slowly eases out of your weeping cunt. What shocks you instantly is how empty you feel all of a sudden. You didn’t have his cock in your mouth or his fingers in your cunt, and before you know it, your core is screaming for release once more, itching even to get filled yet again, but this time with something bigger and harder. 

Opening your eyes, you look down and notice the mess you made of Wrecker’s dick when you parted your lips after he came. Not caring for how shameless you’re being, you lean down and lick his cum off of his navel, swallowing the taste of him immediately so you don’t let any of it go to waste. Wrecker is about to ask you if you’re okay when he feels the kitten licks across his skin, and before he can warn you, his cock is twitching harshly and hitting your cheeks yet again. 

“F-fuck Wrecker, you’re still so hard.” He can hear the surprised smile on your features, and he chuckles embarrassingly from his refractory period. Normally, he felt proud at being ready to go in a matter of seconds, but lying beneath you now, Wrecker realizes you might think he just wants to take advantage of you. He’s about to apologize when you move off of him and roll to the side, throwing your head back and stretching your limbs to get some feeling back into them. Wrecker sits up on his elbows and studies you closely, unable to hold back from eye-fucking you when he notices how hard your nipples are, how shiny your face and chin are from the mess you were making of the both of you. He turns away when he catches you smiling at him, and he massages his lower stomach to try and get his cock to calm down a little. 

You notice the shift in his demeanor almost immediately, and knowing that he was probably overthinking this whole ordeal, you will yourself to sit up and go to him. Wrecker doesn’t expect you to fall into his arms so soon, so dramatically even, and he hums in pleasure when you immediately reach to kiss his mouth. You can taste both of your cum on each other, the thought nearly sending you and Wrecker into unimaginable bliss all over again. As Wrecker relaxes back into the bed, you struggle to maneuver yourself around, but in no time, you’re straddling his hips and supporting your weight on his chest. 

Wrecker looks up at you with wide-blown eyes, unsure of what it is you are trying to accomplish. He thought you would call it a night, perhaps even tell him that this felt nice but you’d need to rest before you do anything else. But like always, you surprise Wrecker with a dangerous glint to your eyes, slowly rolling your hips back and forth until his cock nestles perfectly between your wet folds. 

“An’edee?”

“Please Wreck…want you to fuck me now. Fuck me hard…stretch me wide on your cock, until I can’t speak anymore.” You roam your hands across his chest, marveling at the muscles rippling and flexing beneath the palms of your hands. Wrecker grabs onto your hips instantly, stopping you from moving any further and sending him into a frenzy. 

“I- I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage…or that I want to hurt you.” He says, avoiding your gaze altogether and choosing to look anywhere else but your glistening body. You’ve always been beautiful to him, but you’re even more gorgeous in his eyes now, with your sweaty skin and your bruised body that he marked with his teeth and his seed. 

“What if I want you to take advantage…what if- what if I want you to hurt me?” You ask, leaning over and kissing over his chest, glancing up at him and waiting until he meets your eyes before nipping at the skin near one of his nipples. He hisses in warning, narrowing his eyes at you and praying you understand that he only means to take care of you. 

“What if I want the others to know what we’ve done here tonight? Smile at them when they notice traces of your touch all over me. What if…oh maker Wrecker, what if I want to leave this planet with so much of your cum deep inside me that it leaks out of me?” You’re not sure what’s making you whisper such filthy confessions to him. All you know is, the more you reveal to him your wishes, the harder his cock twitches against you. His chest rises and falls with shallow breaths, and you raise yourself until you’re sitting high above him, with a perfect view of all his glorious skin. 

When he says nothing right away, you regret ever telling him your thoughts, and slowly begin to get off of him. But Wrecker is faster than you, and he squeezes your hips tightly to prevent you from going anywhere. You know you’ll look at yourself in the mirror days from now and find imprints of his hands all over your skin, the thought of which makes you wetter than you can care to admit. You’re about to apologize when he finally puts you out of your misery and nods his consent. 

Afraid that he’s only agreeing because of your need for him, you lean down and kiss his cheeks, hoping he’d understand that you don’t ever want to force him to do anything. But Wrecker sees right through you, wrapping one arm around your back to keep you as flush to him as possible while his other hand reaches down and takes hold of his cock. You feel him tease your entrance with the head of his dick, parting your lips in a silent plea to have him finally fill you to the brim. But he doesn’t give you what you want just yet, sliding his cock along your wet folds several times until he coats his length with your juices. 

“Please Wreck.”

“You want me to fuck you pretty girl?” 

“Y-yes, please.” You breathe against his lips, nearly tasting the salt of his sweat on your tongue as you grow closer to him. 

“Hmm, you want me to train your pussy…show you how to take me?” His voice is hoarse, and you realize it may be the first time you hear him speak so softly, so sweetly to you. 

“Desperately.”

“Kriff,” he hesitates for a moment, but as he looks into your eyes, and feels the wet heat of your pussy coax him into you, Wrecker decides to break the last barrier between the two of you and speak his desires freely, “you- you want me to cum inside you and fill you up until Hunter can smell me on your cunt?” 

The question surprises you, mostly because you thought Wrecker would be too shy to mention something everyone seldom speaks of, something so inherently filthy that lures a fresh wave of desire from your body. You gaze at Wrecker through heavy-lidded eyes, torn between wanting him to tease you more and finally taking you how you always dreamt. You gulp nervously, leaning down and laying a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth before breathing a soft, quick plea against him. 

“Please.” 

Wrecker laughs at your sudden shy demeanor, wondering whether he could play with you a little bit more before he fucks you raw. It’s a difficult decision, but he makes up his mind when he pushes the head of his cock along your slit and finds you soaking for him. 

“Remember your safeword an’edee,” the arm around your back holds you tightly against his heaving chest, and you lose yourself in his touch as soon as he wraps his lips around your own and gently eases himself inside you. The confidence of his words turns you on way more than it should, but you don’t dwell on that thought for too long, already finding it difficult to get used to the sheer size of him. He’s done his due diligence in preparing you for his dick, but you somehow still struggle to take him without hissing in pain. 

“Fuck baby, your pussy feels so warm around my cock.” Wrecker mouths against the column of your neck, his hands clutching on your skin for dear life as he slowly continues to push his length along your tight walls. 

“O-ohhhh,” you moan as you feel him throb deep inside your cunt, and Wrecker mistakes the pleasure for pain, stopping his journey in an instant and stretching his head back until he can get a better look at you. 

“A-am I hurting you? Should I p-”

“No, n-no please don’t…don’t pull out Wreck, please. I just need to g-get used to you.” You cut him off before he even thinks about leaving you, and when you flutter your eyes open and meet his beautiful, mismatched ones, you can’t help smile and kiss the corner of his mouth, hoping that the sentiment distracts him long enough until the stretch of his cock sends more pleasure than discomfort down your spine. 

“Mesh’la,” Wrecker warns warmly, seeing through you immediately and loosening the hold he has on your hips so you don’t think he’ll prioritize his needs over your comfort. He can feel your pussy clench around him the more he roams his hands across your back, and when he rests his hand over your ass, you roll your hips almost on queue, your body already wishing to chase that little high as if he didn’t just make you cum a moment ago. 

“I know, I- oh maker, I know…you’re so thick and hard Wrecker, I feel so- so full.” 

“And you’re so fucking tight love. I want you to move when- when you’re ready.” He knows he should try to persuade you to get some rest, but with every little breath-hitch he hears, and the filthy words streaming from your mouth and washing over him like lukewarm water, Wrecker knows he’s already gone. 

Then you move your hips once, just a little bit, until you can feel the veins along his cock slide deliciously against your tight walls, and Wrecked knows any chances of him letting go of you now are gone.

“Shit.” You swear as you slowly sit up and flatten your palms over his broad chest, supporting your weight and setting a soft pace as you begin to ride him.

“That’s it, fuck yourself on my cock…nice and slow sweetheart. Nice and slow.” He hums at you as he meets your place and thrusts up into you. There is a lilt of pride in his voice, one that sets your body on fire. When you can finally open your eyes and look down, you see Wrecker’s gaze set on where you’re joined. His chest rumbles with a growl as he moves you along his dick and juts his hips up into you, and it’s only when he meets your eyes that you realize why he’s suddenly so unhinged, so willing to give you what you want. 

The man has a size kink. And from the looks of it, it was going to manifest itself pretty soon. 

“Hmmm.” You sigh when you feel his cock hit a deep corner inside you that paints stars across your sight. You want to ask him if it pleases him so much that you can take him without pain, if his dick hardens at knowing that he’s clearly the biggest you’ve ever fucked.

But with every rough push and pull, with every little touch Wrecker brings upon your body, your mind frizzles into nothing, leaving you a heaving mess that grows more needy for him with every kiss he places on your skin.

“The sounds you make, an’edee. Oh fuck, I- I could just keep you here forever. Fuck you all night long to keep you warm. Would you like that?” Wrecker is breathless, and you feel proud at being the reason behind such a reaction. You’ve seen him fight and run for hours on end in the battlefield, but he seldom ran out of breath, let alone looked fatigued. You weren’t sure if this was because he was straining himself so he could hold back, or because he felt for you. Either way, the harsh breaths and growled moans emitting from his mouth were music to your ears, making you yearn for more. 

“Wre-eecker,” you dig your nails into his chest, gasping for air at a particularly hard thrust that nearly sends you flying off of him. A part of you wishes this continues when you’re back in the Marauder, but there was no way this would be possible, not when Hunter could hear the smallest of spiders creeping along the walls. You whine in irritation, throwing your head back to distract yourself from such thoughts. 

“Would you like it if I keep you here in my arms, fuck you till you can’t scream anymore…fill you up with my cum, till it’s leaking out of you tight little cunt and you beg me to keep fucking you to give you some more?” You feel yourself growing slower to the edge with every filthy word he speaks through gritted teeth. Never in your life did you think Wrecker was capable of such inappropriate honesty. Sure he was brutally truthful when he spoke, but most of the time, it was endearing to know that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Then again, this wasn’t much different now that you thought about it. For him to breathe such sinful desires, he must have been thinking of them for a long time. The thought of being the reason behind those wishes and cravings makes you clench your thighs around him, and you fall into his chest when you can’t find the strength to keep yourself up anymore.  

“Please baby, I want it hard- want it so hard.” You plead softly, kissing along his neck and biting the muscles on his shoulder when he wraps one arm around your back and the other goes straight to your ass. 

“So good for me, my little fuck-bunny.” A strike of lightning zaps down your spine, and you sob into his neck as realization washes over you. Had it been anyone else saying those words, you think you may have jumped off of them and punched them in the eye. 

But this was Wrecker. 

And you really enjoyed him calling you his personal fuck-bunny. 

“Ahhhhh yess Wreck, k-keep going.” Your moans ring in his ears as his thrusts grow harder, faster, sweeter. 

“I’m going to fuck you harder sweetheart, but you- osik, you have to promise me one thing.” He’s already doing what he says, holding onto your ass and squeezing it tightly as he moves you on top of him. You can feel his cock carve you out, sending spikes of pleasure along your thighs until they’re shaking harshly. The action doesn’t go unseen by Wrecker, and laughs beneath you when your body continues to shiver violently while his assault on your cunt increases. 

You already know what he’s going to ask, and instead of letting him remind you, you break his train of thoughts and confirm your suspicions, hoping that he’d keep his promise and fuck you into oblivion as soon as he’s sure you remember the safeword. 

“I p-promise to use the safeword if it’s too much, just please- Wrecker…take me.” Your voice gives out in an instant, and as you try to brace yourself for the war Wrecker is sure to bring on your body, he forces you to pull back so he can reach your lips.

“Come here,” his hand twists in your hair, tugging on it until he can see your face, and before you can say anything else, he’s shoving his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your moans as he quickens his pace and fucks up into you without remorse. You surrender yourself completely to him, letting go of any control you may have had on your body and allowing him to move you as he pleases. When Wrecker pulls away, he pushes your head into the nape of his neck, nuzzling into the space between the column of your throat and your clavicle before biting down on your shoulder and sending you screaming into his skin. 

“Ah unghhhh yes yes, oh fuck right there Wreck, right t-there.”

“That’s a good girl, stretching ‘round my dick, so wet and hot for me.” He growls right back, pushing his cock into your pussy with such vigor that you nearly forget where you are. The sounds both of you are creating are downright dirty, and you smile to yourself when you notice you can barely hear the storm raging outside from how loud the two of you are being. 

“Uhh ahh yeah, my fuck-bunny is tight for me.” You whimper at the sentiments he continues to breathe on your skin as he drives his cock deeper into your cunt and makes you his. 

“Feel me sweetheart, feel me as I mark your little hole as mine.” None of what he’s saying should make you so weak and pliable for him, but you hope he doesn’t stop talking any time soon. You’re sure he can make you cum simply from telling you how much he craves you.

“W-wreck,” your voice barely comes out loud enough for him to hear, and Wrecker grinds his teeth to prevent himself from sinking them into your neck. He wants to mark you with everything he’s got, but he’s afraid you’d think him too violent if he were to ever do something so savage to you. So instead, he bites into his lip and fucks you harder, praying to the Force that your pussy is enough of a distraction from his barbaric needs. 

“I love it when you call me that, love. Keep moaning my name, and- hmmmm, I promise to give you my cum.” 

Between his words, the possessive touches you’re sure will leave bruises on your body, and the delicious thickness of his cock as he plunges it into your cunt time and again, you cum around him in an instant, your body seizing up all of a sudden as it surrenders to the indescribable pleasure. You feel your lower stomach grow hot with a foreign, heated desire and it’s not until you can finally catch your breath that you hear Wrecker swear and raise you a little to look down at your joined bodies. 

“Osik,” his smile is dangerously wide, and you don’t know what’s pleasing him so much until you follow his line of sight and look down to where you thought he was still filling you. Your eyes widen in horror when you see his skin glistening with your wetness, and you look up at him in time to apologize for the mess you just made. 

“I- I’m sorry.” Wrecker notices your voice grow in shyness, and he shakes his head to stop you from saying anything else. 

“I want you to do that again baby, cum on my cock again.” Before you can ask him if he truly means that request, Wrecker is pushing you down on his cock again and filling you to the brim, hissing in relief when he feels the heat of your pussy engulf him once more and clenching tightly around him. He doesn’t waste another second, grabbing both of your thighs and raising you slightly above his hips so he can fuck up into you freely. You try to support yourself on his chest once more, but your arms give out instantly, sending you flush against Wrecker’s skin again. He kisses your neck, licking and nipping your sweaty skin until he feels that familiar sensation take over your body and send spikes of pleasure down his cock. You’re squeezing him tightly, fluttering with such intensity that Wrecker nearly loses his sight and cums then and there. But he forces himself to focus on your pleasure, wanting to make you cum one last time before he fills you up as he promised.

As you craved. 

He opens his eyes in time to see you part your lips in a silent cry as you drench him again, and he doesn’t stop once, fucking you through your orgasm until you force his dick out of your heat and soak him again. 

“Such a good girl, making a mess of me like I want.” He praises you sweetly, and you nearly confess those three, fateful words to him. But you catch yourself before you ruin the moment, and even though you’re still shaking from the force of your ecstasy, you slowly sit up and grab his cock, lining him up with your entrance and looking into his eyes as you slide down his thick length one last time. 

“B-baby?” Wrecker asks with furrowed eyebrows, knowing that you were yet to come back from the pleasure he just wrung from your body. 

“I- I want to cum with you Wrecker, want your cum to fill me up as I fall over the edge with you.” You roll your hips slowly over him, feeling the tip of his cock hit you right where you’re still sensitive. 

“An’edee,” Wrecker moans to you, roaming his hand up and down your body, and smiling ot himself when he flicks your nipples and feels you flutter around his dick.  

“Take your pleasure baby, use me till you reach that release. Please.” You beg him, one last time, praying that he could finally give you what you want. 

“Hold on to me,” Wrecker warns as he grabs your hips and digs his fingers into the muscles beneath your skin. You move your hands from his stomach to his forearms, clutching onto them for dear life as soon as you feel Wrecker plant his feet onto the mattress and thrust up into you. In a matter of seconds, you’re throwing your head back and crying out his name, the knowledge that you no longer have any control on your body, even your pleasure, sending you quickly into overdrive. You want to focus on your pleasure, but the deeper Wrecker reaches inside you, the more you think of his own needs, and you remember that he’s already given you so much. 

Instead of begging him to touch you, you open your eyes and look down at him, studying him closely as you bring your fingers to your clit and rub yourself furiously. The man beneath you is a sight unlike you’ve ever seen. His broad, large form is nearly pliant underneath you now, buzzing with energy and pleasure that you’re sure must be sending him into some sort of sensory overload. You marvel at the sheer strength of him, and the knowledge that he’s surely holding back, even now, when he’s fucking you within an inch of your life. His chest is heaving from how hard he’s fucking up into you, how fast his thrusts are becoming as he uses you to get off. 

And as soon as he opens his own eyes and looks at you, you give yourself into the pleasure, praying to the maker that he cums along with you so you can experience that little high together. Your prayers are answered when Wrecker descends his gaze down your body and sees your fingers playing with your clit. In a matter of seconds, Wrecker is crying out his release, holding you down against him as he empties his seed inside your pussy and paints your clenching walls with his cum. Although he’s unmoving, the force with which he cums is enough to heat you up, offerig you one last little orgasm before you collapse into his arms. 

He’s somehow still hot and hard beneath you, and when you come to your senses again, you realize he’s been praying your name softly as he was filling you up. You’re still shaking in his embrace, and Wrecker can’t help but squeeze your ass every time you unintentionally flutter around him. He doesn’t move, afraid that he might want to fuck you again. 

Hell, he knew he wouldn’t have to move to get that feeling again. He was already experiencing it right now. Against his better judgment, Wrecker grabs your ass and raises you off of him, hissing in discomfort when he no longer feels the tight heat of your walls wrapping around his hardening cock. 

“Wr- wreck,” you whine into his skin, lazily reaching down in between your sweaty bodies to push his seed back into your cunt. Wrecker doesn’t have to see your hands to know what you’re doing, and he moans into your ears when your thumb traces along his length and makes him twitch into you. 

“F-fuck an’edee, keep saying my name like that and I might just push you down and fuck you into the floor.” He warns with a growl, settling you beside him so he isn’t tempted with your messy pussy. 

“You- you say that like it’s a- ahhhh…a bad thing.” You cry out when Wrecker slaps your ass playfully to get you to quiet down. 

“Not bad at all, but I don’t want to hurt you. Remember?” He leans down and kisses your forehead, nuzzling into your hair before looking beside him to see if there is anything he can use to clean you up. 

“But baby, I like it when you hurt me.”

“Hmmm, as much as I love hearing you say that, I- we should uhhh, oh kriff. S-stop doing that,” he starts to respond, but you don’t let him continue his train of thought, reaching down and wrapping your hand around the crown of his cock. When you squeeze it tightly and feel him grow harder beneath your touch, you feel that same sensation coarse through your veins once more. 

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t h-have that much control, sweetheart. If you- osik, if you keep scratching and kissing on me, I’m trapping you here till your cunt is full of my cum.” He grits his teeth, whining in pain when you bite down on the muscles of his shoulder and lick the slowly-forming mark. 

“Oh, is that a warning Commando?” Your question is meant to stir him into action, but the opposite occurs.

“No my little fuck-bunny, that’s a fucking promise.” Wrecker snatches your wrist quickly, raising your hand to his chest and forcing it down on him before giving you a warning glare. 

“Wha- I thought you were going to…” You look at him through heavy lidded eyes, praying that he could push you underneath him one last time for the night and fill you up again. 

“Fuck you? No an’edee, we’re done for tonight.” Wrecker teases you with a smirk, not giving you a chance to touch him any further as he pulls away completely and stands up.

“But-”

“Knowing Hunter and Tech, they’ll be coming sometime in the next few hours. And I don’t like sharing what’s mine. I’d hate to cut their eyes out because they saw what belongs to me.” Wrecker states the last sentiment so naturally that you can’t help but clench your thighs tightly and slip your fingers down your body until you’re rubbing his cum over your wet folds again. 

“Oh.” It’s all you can say now that you know your feelings are completely mutual. 

“Hmm, does my sweetheart like hearing who she belongs to?” Wrecker asks passively as he looks for his clothes and your own.

“Fuck,” you groan lowly when he turns back around and palms his cock lazily while continuing to tease you with those sinful questions. 

“Or is it the thought of how easily I can beat my brothers for you that’s getting you so hot and bothered?” Wrecker struts towards you, looking down at your form as you spread yourself for him and show him your glistening cunt. He leans down with a dangerous glint in his eyes, waiting until you shut your eyes before kissing your forehead and moving away.

“You- you’re not being fair Wreck.” You murmur irritatingly as you watch him walk away and collect your clothes before coming back to you and throwing them on your body, actively hiding your skin from his hungry eyes so he doesn’t fall into your trap.

“You expect me to not beg you for more, and yet you torture me with your words and- and…”

“You’re right an’edee, I’m not being fair.” He laughs as brings all of his clothes to the mattress and ruffles through them in search of his underpants. When he glances at you and sees you pouting at him, he rolls his eyes and pinches your thighs before pointing to your clothes. 

“Get dressed. That’s an order!” Wrecker nearly falls over as he struggles to put his underpants back on, and when he sees you laughing at him, he steps towards you and reaches for your waist, softly pinching you and chuckling in return when you fall back into bed and giggle along with him. 

“Y-yes sir.” You salute sarcastically, not caring for his request even for a moment. You look on Wrecker as he puts his clothes back on again, smiling to yourself when you see him sniff his shirt and whisper something about smelling like burnt tookas. As he walks around the room in search of food, you lay your hand on your heart and let out a long sigh, one that, you thanked the heavens, was filled with nothing but gratitude. 

You started the day with immense fear for your and Wrecker’s lives, even more at the prospect of never seeing Omega and the others again. But now that you were filled with warmth, one that was provided to you by none other than the man who has been the object of your desires and needs ever since he introduced himself all those months ago, you know that things would eventually be alright. It would take a long time, and perhaps much more heartache, but you’d ultimately find rest. 

You just prayed it would be in Wrecker’s arms. 

[actual-changeling]

happy endings? boring. more like "hey you completely destroyed my trust in you and there is a part of it that will never ever return but this is as good as it will get and we're content" happy endings. aka my abandonment issues wrote a fic

—

It's not like he had a timeline in mind when they moved to the South Downs together. 

To be honest, he hadn't given it much thought at all, caught up in the adrenaline rush of finally securing the no-longer-fragile, peaceful existence he had been working towards for centuries. They settled into a comfortable routine, their recent past not being left untouched but rather unravelled incredibly slowly, bit by bit, and within a few months, the suffocating weight at the bottom of his lungs began to lift.

Crowley could breathe again, and that alone was exhilarating enough to delay that particular train of thought for another couple of weeks. After that, it crept up on him like a warm winter, rain seeping into the ground and freezing it up, so gradually he only noticed it once it reached the surface.

Fear.

No longer jagged shards of broken glass cutting into his palms, but soft, pliable, fitted to the curve of his mouth and the space between his fingers. A gentle squeeze around his heart whenever Aziraphale went out on his own, whenever he was out of Crowley's sight for more than an hour, when the silence grew heavier as the shadows expanded and even damp soil and fresh sprouts could not distract him any longer.

He won't come back this time, a soothing voice in the back of his mind would remark.

I'm sorry.

The same voice that had carried him through years of soul-crushing loneliness picked up all the pieces he dropped along the way, glueing them back into place. He trusts that voice more than he trusts Aziraphale Crowley realised when he was once again pacing the living room, waiting for him to come back.

(Ten large steps from the window to the doorway. Seven between the other two walls. He only starts getting dizzy after twenty minutes, which is when he switches to the bordering hallway; twelve steps to cover the entire span. The kitchen after that—six long steps.)

That is when he began an entirely different kind of waiting.

Continuing to exist without Aziraphale around became easier, and within a handful of months, he could keep reworking the flower beds or take a nap without being seized by inescapable dread.

That primal, familiar fear remained.

Fear that one day Aziraphale will walk out the front door and not come back. Fear that he will look at Crowley with subtle disdain in his eyes again, the word 'demon' hidden away underneath his tongue. Fear that he will ask him for something he refuses to give up and walk away the second he hears his answer.

Fear, soft but constant, permafrost covering their garden, crunching with every step.

Crowley considers simply asking Aziraphale if he is going to leave him again, but it seems too dangerous, asking. Questions have never brought him particularly nice results, after all, and there is the very same fear throwing its shadow over it. Asking might upset him, might cause him to leave, so he doesn't.

Time passes, Aziraphale stays, and they are as happy as they could possibly be, living and loving to their hearts' content, yet he never stops waiting.

Around the time they reach the tenth year of having moved to the South Downs, Crowley watches him button up his coat from the sofa, the television running quietly in the background. Grocery shopping, as Aziraphale said—one of the things he insisted on doing the human way. 

"Back in an hour," he promises, coming over to press a goodbye kiss to his temple.

His lips are warm, barely lingering as he straightens again.

"Mhh, see ya' angel."

When Aziraphale pulls the door shut behind himself, Crowley exhales sharply, picking up a pillow to press against his chest as he keeps watching. The pressure quiets the voice humming in his mind, and he won't keep his gaze trained to the clock or walk paths he knows with his eyes shut until he hears the front door opening again, but even now— 

even now, he is still afraid.

A layer of white on the grass that has not receded a single millimetre in all this time, and he has grown used to it, would miss it if it were to suddenly thaw.

Crowley knows the frost won't melt, and his fear won't fade.

He doubts it ever will, and when he watches Aziraphale place his shoes by the front door, his coat on the closest hook, he realises he no longer wants it to.

Maybe one day he will need it to hold himself together again.

[balkanradfem]

The christian side of tumblr found a post where I made a little joke about how religion puts women into servitude and it's going around gathering bible quotes and arguing whether this is about christianity or other religions x_x I never thought this day would come.. I didn't think christians were on here. And even though the majority of people arguing are christians, I never wrote down 'christianity', I meant all abrahamic religions.

I'm itching to go argue but I know deep in my heart there is nothing to be gained. These people are eager to mock and personally attack whoever is disagreeing with them and that is not a honest intellectual discussion that I crave. I think if you're religious you just have to avoid thinking things like 'why is that so' and 'isn't that awfully convenient' and 'what if this promised thing fails to materialize' because once you start having those thoughts, the entire thing falls apart.

I remember being 15 and realizing that the christian god has no actual use of us, no point in caring about us whatsoever, and no incentive to pay attention to what we do or don't do, but humans very much have a need to believe in the higher power that works to their personal advantage, and that there's someone 'up there' who will make things alright for them, that they have a higher purpose and that if they follow certain rules it will pay out. And this was enough for me to figure out that god didn't create humans, but humans created god, because humans have a need of a god, while god has no need or use for humans at all.

It was only later when I learned about feminism that I realized it wasn't only that, but that it was specifically made to control, exploit and oppress women, praising them for endless servitude, sacrifice, submission and platitude, all while consistently telling them they're filled with sin and never good enough. It's now ghoulish and bizarre to me that the symbol of their faith is a m*n being brutally tortured, that what we feel is holy is endless suffering and pain and death. We're told to aspire for that. That has nothing to do with spirituality, nothing to do with human nature or healthy and happy human lives. It's a worship of death.

There are promises that religious people make towards women, to make them believe it's a path towards true love, or endless rewards for being 'faithful' and 'pure' or a life where they feel safe from disasters, safe from being abandoned and betrayed. There's nothing in life that can guarantee that. Religion can however, offer certain people a community, it can provide services where you come and listen to stories, and stories come with morals (convenient and confusing morals, but people love engaging with moral-type stories and feeling they've learned something), it provides rituals and celebrations that cultures have integrated in their life (after it destroyed the original rituals and celebrations, but we don't talk about that), and it can provide a common ground of understanding for people (sadly the common ground is that women exist to serve and that this is natural). Sometimes it also provides a feeling of superiority for some people, enabling them to mock, humiliate and patronize others for their 'lack of religion'.

So I understand there are community related reasons a person might feel safer within a religion and having this common ground and community, common beliefs, familiarity and stories, rituals and celebrations, it doesn't come off as a horrible thing, especially when the majority of the culture does it. But other things it brings are painful for women, and often hidden. Encouraging hidden suffering, sacrifice, servitude, centering torture and death, and admiration of torture and death, instead of celebrating nature, life, the world we live in and how we interact with it. Centering males as creators when everyone alive was created by women. Dismissing wars, rape, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, genocides and male brutality, while endlessly shaming women for having feelings and not doing a good enough job pleasing the violent males. And generally making a hell for women when they have any thoughts about sexuality or lust.

I know me writing about it here will not have any effect on people personally attacking me for being ignorant and uneducated, but it feels good to write down the thoughts I've been having all day! Being forbidden from thinking in certain direction, forbidden from questioning my own beliefs, is something that plagued me for a big part of my life, and I will not have it anymore. I can say 'this is awfully convenient' when religions declare that m*n are leaders and women are supposed to follow and serve. I can say that putting up statues of a m*n dying in torture is fucked up and morbid. I can say that making me believe that I would go to hell, for not following every order I've been given, is a horrid thing to do to a female child. And I'm happy and grateful that I can think and say whatever I want, without any threat of damnation ever looming over me.

[matan4il]

To the lovely American Nonnie, who told me that all antisemitism is bad, but leftist antisemitism is the worst because "they are being protected and celebrated. By media, pop culture, and academia. With no middle ground," I agree. The anti-Israel type of antisemitism is, without a doubt, the most socially accepted kind. It's the only kind that someone can spew, and get publicly applauded. The only kind where someone can celebrate the massacre of Jews, and either there are no consequences to that, or there finally are, and then that person and their supporters can pretend they're a martyr, being "persecuted" for being "critical of Israel," when in reality legit criticism of Israel is a very different thing to bias against the only Jewish state, and that person is just another Jew hater.

But I don't think it's just that.

I think it's also the fact that most antisemites are at least honest about hating Jews. The anti-Israel type of antisemitism tries to pretend it's not Jew hatred. So you'll get the hypocrisy of wishing Jews a Happy Hanukkah, a Zionist holiday, while attacking Zionism, and claiming it's incompatible with Judaism. Or you'll have people telling you how important it is to them to combat antisemitism, then they'll turn around and spit out leftist antisemitic conspiracy theories, that instead of saying Jews use the blood of non-Jewish kids to bake matzos, claim the Jewish state only sent a field hospital to Haiti after the earthquake, to harvest human organs. Or they'll proudly announce they're not antisemitic, and to "prove" it, they'll tokenize Jews, which is an antisemitic act in itself. And the worst is when they won't even listen to Jews who tell them that they're being antisemitic, or worse, they'll claim Zionism is antisemitic, which would make 90% of Jews, as well as the Bible itself, antisemitic. It's gaslighting Jews and non-Jews on what is Judaism and what is antisemitic. Other types of antisemites don't do that.

I also think this kind of antisemitism is particularly infuriating, because of the deep discrepancy between the values the left is supposed to stand for, and how they abandon those values when it comes to Jews. "Believe all women!" suddenly isn't applied when Israeli Jewish women are mass raped. "Violence is never the answer! Taking a human life is always wrong!" Then suddenly when Israeli Jews are massacred, and we get explanations on why violence is legit if people are occupied, even when it's translated into mass murder.

And lastly, there's the discrimination, because the left would never treat any other marginalized group the way it does Jews. "Don't speak over a minority group! Listen to their lived experiences!" Then a Jew tries to explain why anti-Zionism is antisemitic, and suddenly all the non-Jew leftists are bigger experts than us on Jewish history and and hatred of Jews, and we're not listened to when we talk about our persecution in the Middle East pre-modern Zionism (meaning the persecution and repeated massacres of Jews in the Middle East is being denied, in a way no one on the left would dare deny, for example, that the transatlantic slave trade happened), or how much anti-Zionism threatens non-Israeli Jews. "Educate yourself" is a common call, but no one feels the need to properly educate themselves on Jewish history, identity and native rights, or worse, they read propaganda from anti-Israel sources only, and think that's the same as educating themselves, as if when they're about to write about any other marginalized group, they would only take in the "education" of those that the group says hate it. "Ethnic cleansing is the worst!" the left says, while chanting slogans that, at the very least, call for the ethnic cleansing of Jews from the Jewish ancestral homeland, and no one gives a damn about us when we point this out. "None of us is free until all of us are free!" goes the intersectionalist call of the left, but Jews are excluded from that. No one cares about modern Zionism being our liberation movement, and we are sometimes physically removed from spaces that are supposed to be dedicated to marginalized groups, as was done to my friend at the Chicago Dyke March, when she wanted to hold a Jewish pride flag, under the claim that the Jewish pride flag makes Palestinians at the march feel unsafe... How safe did queer Jews feel in that moment, or when learning about that incident? But no one cares.

Sending lots of hugs from Jerusalem to you, in the US! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[harrysmimi]

DO IT AGAIN!

Synopsis: A day life of a husband of 11 years; A shortie Blurb.

More of my work

Harry and YN have been together for 11 years, believe it or not, and married for six years out of them, with three kids.

They're as in love with one another as day one.

Many still root for them to break up one day. Especially since both of them are in public eye so much, Harry being the new pop star and YN being director and former actress.

YN have decided to rather to not let anything phase her and just be happy in her very happy relationship. Especially now with their three kiddos.

YN decided to make a Reels videos. She stayed away from Tiktok but Instagram is equally addicting. She had set up her phone on a tripod she once bought to use for her Vogue skin care routine video and it was abandoned since then. It was before the pandemic when she didn't had any kids. She was stood in the hallway by the master bedroom door, testing a few shots on her phone.

"Oh am I in your way?" Harry caught her attention, he'd come back from dropping the kids at YN's parents' as they both wanted to have alone time. The camera was already rolling.

"No!" She gasped in excitement. "Come here, I need you!"

"We're going to film it this time?" He raised his eye brow with a cocky smirk on his face as he padded closer to her, "and they said romance is dead."

"Oh shush!" She stopped him. "I'm making a Reel. I want you to do something."

"What do you want me to do?" He stood in front of her, basically towering her as how tall he is.

"I want you to do that romance book boyfriend thing, where he grabs the girl by the waist and lifts her chin with his finger." She beamed at him at like an idiot, excited idiot to be exact. She showed him how to, wrapping her own arm around his waist and failing to follow up with the rest of the part.

The thing is, YN have been now addicted to reading, Porn on paper kinda romance novels. It wasn't surprising for him as she'd keep sending him these videos saying, she's adding those to the her to be read pile. Let's be honest the girl is horrible at keeping up with the lists, so whatever helps her.

And Harry likes to feed into her mew obsessions, he bought her a Kindle just because. Whatever makes her happy, is his motto. And she don't have to wait for the book to arrive in the mail anymore.

"God why did I saw this coming?" He chuckled, but followed through.

He wrapped his left arm around her waist pulling her flush against his chest as he pinned her to the wall, forefinger under her chin as he gently lift her head until their eyes met, staring for a few seconds as he slowly pressed a feathery kiss on her mouth. That was cherry on tip!

That really made her go weak in her knees and she almost fell on her bum if it wasn't for him holding onto her. He laughed adoringly at her reaction.

"You're adorable!" He managed to say between his giggles as he carefully stepped away from her, watching her go all red and nervous.

"Do it again!" She exclaimed whilst dying sheepishly. And he did.

It was hilarious this time though because YN kept squealing and somehow turned more red. He still had that effect on her. Harry placed a tender kiss on her cheek before he was reaching to stop the recording on her phone and he was carrying her into their bedroom.

"Now I don't want you to wake up in the middle of the night to show me something your imaginary boyfriend did." He placed her on their bed as he kneed his way forward to hover over her.

Yeah, she wakes him up more than their kids wake him up at night. They're all boys and Mummy is their favourite, as traditionally cliche it sounds, it's truth.

And to her advantage he's better in bed that any of the book boyfriends. She missed it, especially when there are two toddler knocking on their door in the middle of the night asking to sleep in their bed, a baby who needs diaper change and milk every three hours. Life is hectic.

"Oh that's never going to stop." She challenged him.

"Yeah? Well the good thing we dropped off the kids at your parents' today, isn't it?" He smirked cheekily as he dipped his head down to smear his mouth on hers.

And oh boy, oh boy, did she had a euphorically tiring afternoon!

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N O T E:

Oh my god! Did I loved writing this!!!! 😭

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