#and do you think it haunts her at night that theres a chance she will live for centuries when her brother died at like 16

[lesbiantrish]

im so normal about thalia and jasons relationship (no im not)

[kuboism]

Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1

Intro to the series

WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures

The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.

A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.

The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 

我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ

“We fear that which cannot be seen”

And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 

姿無き故に敬う

”We revere that which cannot be seen"

A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.

Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.

I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.

^ I am disappointed in y’all :/

vs.

v Karma delivery, bitch

Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:

In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)

with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him

Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....

It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 

(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)

As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.

Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....

It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??

Manga:

Anime: 

Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?

They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.

There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.

Anime: 

vs. 

Manga:A

Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:

It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 

and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:

Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back

vs the anime being like:

Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 

gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 

In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 

(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)

Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.

Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)

Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 

.....

This little exchange

 is replaced with: 

Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 

And now we get into the big boy changes.

So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.

Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......

Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night

Not sure why, but ok

Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......

Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....

(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )

So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).

Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.

The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.

She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)

(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)

(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)

(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)

Random-ass hollow closes in and 

BOOM

Rukia

(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.

Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 

You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)

Rukia yeets the hollow

(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)

and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh

ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???

( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)

So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)

Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.

and as if on cue

the stranger makes their presence once more

(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)

....

Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.

Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)

rukia arrives much the same

(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)

Back to the anime:

Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.

and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.

Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.

In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga

AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.

(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)

Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 

slapstick ensues

and Rukia decides to answer his question.

Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:

1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke

2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.

The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.

Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.

Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 

bUT

BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.

UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 

This vvvvvvv

could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV

(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)

Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga

The next scene which is this in the manga 

has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.

And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:

And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 

(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.

You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)

(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)

Back to the series

Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga

These scenes are supposed to represent

This panel:

(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)

So uh, this scene is odd

Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow

Ichigo has seen her in action

And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 

even though, yknow???

LITerally the previous day???

Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak

she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.

(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)

Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA

#NotMyRukia

LOOK AT THE MANGA

LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia

Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.

why so cheerful?

(also Rukia be right tho)

(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)

Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit

Meanwhile the manga

YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY

(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks

I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 

Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)

Really Rukia? One of your jobs?

GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)

(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)

(What have they done to you, queen)

(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)

Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:

Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono

Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty

Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,

she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?

There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 

昇華 • 滅却

sublimate/convert • extinguish

which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 

While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.

A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????

also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.

BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :

Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?

AND CAN TALK??

wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.

Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...

Reminder:

Moooving on...

Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:

Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 

Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢

Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??

Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.

Next off....

This is .... a choice....

They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:

Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin

She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.

is replaced with this:

Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.

I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 

But compare it to the manga:

#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.

Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.

*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*

which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 

Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo

[red-riot-rat]

G o o d b y e    t o    a    w o r l d

LITERAL ANGST FT. P! LOV X TEEN! READER, MOSTLY HIMIKO TOGA HERE <33

WARNINGS: CURSING, DEATH, BLOOD, YOUCH YOUCH HURT, READER DIES, HIMIKO CRIES, THAT KINDA RHYMED, UHM, kid did NOT proof read this,,, apologies dkfjgndg

WC: 1478

T I M E S T A M P : 6:55 AM

AN: Ive attached an announcement to my rules, right below my masterlist link. please read that!! <3

-

-

-

“Kid! Please run!” 

Himiko Toga’s voice rings through the debris of the broken down bar. You stumble, your eyes trained on the amount of heroes flooding in, the chaos bound to be caused bouncing in your mind.

You scramble to run, your hands catching you right before you fall as you bolt as fast as you can.

You know this is protocol. You have to go.

Out of everything they have told you, taught you, scolded you for,

This was the lesson that rang through the bars every week, every moment of danger.

‘If we get attacked, you run.’

Its a no matter what, no matter what you’ve witnessed or how scared you are for the others, they want you alive. 

Even if it means without them, you're are so overwhelming important to them.

Above all else.

Run.

And you try your best. Your sneakers thud with every step, feeling the shake in your legs, the anxiety in your brain. 

All you have to do is get to the apartment. The apartment assigned for this moment, and this moment only. The moment were the life of the League depends on.

The one that has been fully stocked since its been bought, the one made for the moments of chaos like this.

Thats all you have to get too. And they will see you there, everyone safe and sound.

Everyone.

The sirens and the yells of heroes bounce in and out of your mind as you ran out the back of the bar, and into the allies that felt like they were constructed for you.

You ran left and right, listening for footsteps behind you, to the left, the right, above you, anything that could give away the presence of a hero.

And there was nothing. 

Maybe that was it. The false sense of security that washed over you. Maybe it caused you to become reckless.

Or maybe it was the fact that you were safe for a split second there, and he ruined it.

The image of Himiko’s terrified eyes, but unending smile burned into your eyes at your sneakers thudded on the concrete in the dead of night.

You turned one  last time, and the apartment building came into sight. The bland grey, and mostly broken windows relived you for only a minute as you focused on the sound of your rapid breathing as you slowed down.

The apartment building itself is practically abandoned, and its not hard in the slightest to get in the grey old building.

Everythings going to plan, although you can still here the sirens go off, but theres no yelling. None at all. 

This is the plan you’ve gone through so many times, over and over again.

Sometimes things go exactly to plan, 

And they’re just not yours.

Slamming the door to the disgustingly decorated apartment complex, you slid down to the floor, your back slumping at you curled into a ball, your face in your hands. Your breathing still rapid, from running from the bar and up the multiple flights of stares, from the anxiety of the whole situation, that anyone and everyone you have ever loved could die right now.

And most of all,

The feeling of eyes on you.

Glaring eyes.

Hero eyes.

Your head rises slowly, unsure of what to do.

This wasn’t part of the plan.

It was never a part of it.

What the fuck now?

A dark haired hero sits on a red sofa, the red matches his glaring eyes as his mangy hair floats up.

“The League’s kid.”

His voice feels mocking and you feel anger build up.

You cant even fucking believe this.

Shota Aizawa is sitting in the apartment everyone considered to be the escape plan.

And all you can do is die.

Your hands shake as you pull yourself up from the cold wooden ground. This isn’t a part of the fucking plan.

He rises slowly, your back is still against the wall. Your brain racks through options as your faced with an underground hero, one that’s even defeated Tomura before, even if it was through a sliver of good luck.

God, the way you wished you had that sliver of luck.

Before even thinking, you took off. You legs taking you anywhere that you felt had a chance of survival in.

For fucks sake, you wish you didn’t go into her room.

Out of everywhere you slam the door entering into Himiko’s room, you can feel the immediate pain shes going to suffer through.

The tears, 

The blood,

The absolute anger and havoc herself alone that she can cause.

“There’s no where to run kid. You’ve got two choices.”

But you know the choices. You’ve heard them time and time again. Its either,

Rat on your family and become an enemy of the few people you’ve ever loved,

Or die.

And this time? You don’t have a way out.

Theres no one left to save you anymore.

Clocks stop ticking.

Luck runs dry.

And heartbeats go silent.

You look the man straight in the eye, still glaring red as it runs dry.

You know your choices.

And you know what has to happen.

“You can come with me, unharmed, or I’ll hav-”

“Kill me.” you practically shout at him, the tears building up as your throat closes and nose burn.

“For the love of god, do it.” Your eyes wide, bottom lip trembling and hands balled up, you accept it.

The fact that even though this is not what you want, what anyone in your League wants, it will be the only option. 

And that’s all you can do.

Is watch as the very root of your anger takes your life and adds gasoline to the fire in within the depths of the League.

And just like that you sat on the cold ground once again, leaned against the cute white bed frame Himiko owned, and bled out onto her floor. The warm red ooze left your mouth as well, dripping down your chin.

The worst part out of this situation, isn’t that you’re dying on floor of Himiko Toga’s pastel decorated room, its the fact that her once cute room with forever be haunted by the memory of your blood being spilledt.

And the realization that she was too late to save you. 

You can hear the front door open ever so softly, and hear Himiko call out for you.

The only kid that shes been able to take care of, to trust, and protect for months on end,

Is now dying alone in her room.

And that it itself,

Will cause her to break from the inside out.

And the world will never know true peace again.

Her footsteps echo down the hall you remember running down in a moment of panic, and as her door creaks open theres not much you can do. Expect watch her fall apart in a split second.

“No.. wait please I’m so sorry, please wait, hold on, Tomura- he can- Tomura!” She calls out for the male, who isn’t anywhere near this designated safe space. A destroyed safe place. 

She cradles you in her arms as her tears overflow, and her smile decays into an everlasting pain on her face. She feels helpless, because she is.

All she can do is watch you die as you lay in her arms.

All she can do is know that shes too late.

And you’re so far gone.

“Please stay. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t get here, I-” Her own sobs cut her off, her hands shaking and face distorting into such a clear vision of pain as she strokes your cheek with right hand. Her heavy tears fall as you smile every so slightly up back to her.

Your eyes stare into hers, the ones you used to meet every morning when she would wake you up, or when you needed validation.

“Thank you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, something she can barely hear, but so painfully there. She whimpers, pulling you as close to her body as she can.

“Please stay, just for a- a minute longer please.” She begs you to hold onto any sliver of life you have left, anything at all. But sometimes, you know what has to happen.

Sometimes you don’t hold on.

“I’ll say goodbye soon.” You smile as wide as you can to her, hand resting on hers as your breathing slows. As you watch yourself leave your family.

“Though its the end of the world,” Her brows furrow even further than before and she can feel her stomach churn. The sight of you in her arms has her so overwhelming broken, she’ll never recover.

“Don’t blame yourself,” She smiles as wide as she an as she lets out a broken sob.

You slip right through her fingers.

“Now.” 

She was too late.

[alphi-writes]

the autumn interactions seems fascinating.. may i request one? ^~¬ || a female reader here~ id like to request a scary stories for malleus, haunted house for azul & trick of treat for floyd, thanks!!! 🥺💖

Yes of course!! I'm glad you seem to like it:)🧡

Characters: Malleus, Azul, Floyd

Items: Scary Stories, Haunted Houses, Trick or Treat

Malleus Draconia

"Yea, just sit there, it's a bean bag it won't- Malleus, you're practically a deity, you do not need to worry about a bean bag eating you."'

You giggled quietly as Malleus tried to make himself comfortable. He wasn't used to such comfortable, plush seatings like a bean bag.

"Are you sure these won't cause any damage? The curve it makes seems... unhealthy."

"Oh, don't be a scaredy cat-! You'll want to save that fear for-" you clicked your torch on, illuminating your face, "-Scaaaary stooories~!"

He stared, dumbfounded for a moment before chuckling quietly.

"Well, you can try, I suppose."

"Oh I will try, and I'll succeed!"

Earlier in the evening, you'd invited Malleus to your dorm, in which the two of you would hang out because Malleus was, yet again, left out of another school event. It was sad to see him so dejected, so you jumped at the chance to invite him over.

Currently, while Malleus was slowly being swallowed by the bean bag, you were setting up a small blanket fort. You stabilized the blankets and sheets before shoving pillows and a few other softy seats inside.

After that, you grabbed your laptop and a candy bag, propping them up at the head of the fort. When you finally crawled out, Malleus was all but unseen, completely covered in the bean bag.

You laughed loudly, promptly grabbing his hands and pulling him out of the seat.

"Come on, I have to fort finished."

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, thanking you quietly.

You slid into the fort next to Malleus, opening your laptop.

"I found this cool forum last week where people submit scary stories! It's always being updated with new stories, and theres even an audio section. That way I don't have to read out loud, I don't read well out loud..."' You typed the forum into the search bar, opening up the tab and scrolling through the audios.

"Do you want to listen to a certain genre? Or are we going to randomize?"

You looked at Malleus, who now had his head propped on his hands. He had a lime green and fuschia blanket strewn over his legs, keeping him warm.

"Erm.. random."

Nodding, you clicked randomise and clicked the first audio that appeared.

"Ooh~ this one's a true story!" You pulled your arms into your chest, burrowing into your blanket like an animal.

The audio faded in, menial sounds of rain and wind fading in first. Then, after the sounds, a deep voice came in.

"This, is a true story. A story of young children, all murdered in cold blood."

You chortled quietly at the mediocre voice acting, hoping Malleus hadn't heard you.

"One-hundred years ago, in multiple neighbouring towns, murders of small children were reported back to back for about two months. The murders were strewn out by the days. Almost sixty children were murdered, meaning the murderer struck every night."

Although it sounded like the man was trying too hard to sound spooky, and he spoke a bit slow, you still found yourself enjoying the story.

"The murders were all the same, children's skulls bashed in, all a bloody, gorey mess. It wasn't until one teenager by the name of Saria that the murderer was caught."

You laid your head nonchalantly on Malleus' arm.

"Saria was the oldest victim, which proved useful in her predicament. Although she was bed-ridden in the hospital for a time with major cranial damage, she suffered no memory loss."

"I wish I didn't suffer memory loss when Trein smacks me upside the head..."

Although you'd whispered to yourself, Malleus must've heard you because he let out a quiet chuckle.

"Although Saria gave a solid description of the murderer, he was never caught."

"Wow, shocker."

"The murders stopped in 1912. Recently, a line of murders identical to the 1909 murders were brought to the surface."

The speaker's voice faded out, mediocre scary music playing until the end of the audio.

"Well, that sucked, but everything sucks if you aren't the one being murdered." When you looked to Malleus for feedback, you were suprised to see he'd fallen asleep.

Shutting your laptop, you smiled and laid down next to him, brushing his bangs away from his forehead.

Gently, you pressed a kiss to his forehead and closed your eyes, falling asleep with him.

Azul Ashengrotto

"You sure you can handle this, Azul?" You teased, smirking at him.

You were currently standing with him in line outside a haunted house maze. From the looks of it, the 'house' was an old château from at least two centuries ago.

It was huge, probably four or five stories tall.

"Of course I can handle this, Y/N. I deal with scarier guests at the Lounge." A confident smile spread across his face as he adjusted his coat.

You hummed, grabbing his hand, intertwining.

"Damn, I don't think it's the haunted house you need to worry about. Your hands are freezing!"

He only scoffed, looking up at the château.

"This is a slow line. We could accept more customers in the lounge than this place."

"Well, we can't just expect the other people here to fly through the whole maze. That would be no fun at all. Besides, I like waiting with you." You grinned at him, squeezing his hand promptly.

A small blush spread across his face before he turned his head away.

After another fifteen minutes or so, you finally made it to the front of the maze.

"Two together please." You held up two fingers, handing your money to the operator before they ushered you and Azul inside.

The beginning of the maze was stuffy room that smelled faintly of smoke.

"Someone has smoker's breath." You quipped to yourself, looking around the room.

You didn't tell Azul, but you'd visited this haunted house a week prior, just to see what it had in store. It was also so you could see how Azul reacted to the maze.

Of course, you will still get scared, but you would roughly know your way around the maze.

"Here, this way I think. The air feels different." You lightly grabbed his sweater sleeve and pulled him towards the wall, feeling around the wallpaper.

"Ooh, we have to look for exits?"

"Yea, I think this is more of a puzzle maze than a jump scare maze."

You found a loose corner in the wallpaper and pulled until a doorway was exposed.

You turned to Azul, grinning and motioning for him to follow.

Throughout the haunted house you would stumble across rooms that required puzzles, some that had jumpscares, and some that had both.

In one particular room, Azul was trailing behind, looking at his surrounding when a scare actor jumped out, shrieking loudly and grabbing Azul.

Although you should've come to Azul's aid, you couldn't help but double over laughing.

The sound Azul made, you'd never heard anything like it. It was almost like a strained baby cry.

"Azul, oh, jeez-" you couldn't even talk, you were laughing so hard, "are you-are you okay Azul?" You finally straightened, wiping a stray tear from your eye and gliding over to him.

"Y-you laughed!" He pointed an accusing finger at you.

You wrapped your fingers around his, smiling.

"Yes. I. Did."

You were the leader throughout the whole maze, pulling him through rooms and away from potential scare factors.

"Its almost as if you already know this house, Y/N."

Chuckling, you turned to him, "I've been to a lot of haunted houses. I just have a better sense of the place than you."

He nodded, albeit still suspicious, but left the matter alone.

Towards the end, the hallways began to narrow, and you felt yourself sweating more than usual.

This wasn't a part of the house when you went last week.

Pressing your back against the back wall, you shuffled down the hallway, breathing in laboured breaths.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" Azul's concerned voice rang out behind you.

Craning your neck back, you saw the expression on his face. His eyebrows were creased, and his eyes showed sympathy.

"Y-yea! I uh, I hate small places, especially, ah, hallways. No where to turn, you know?"

You felt Azul's hand grab yours, and soon you found yourself escaping the cramped hallway.

"Hell yea! We made it!" You threw your hands up, cheering and grinning at Azul.

He smiled at you, plopping a hand on your head and ruffling your hair.

"Uh-huh. Now let's go home, I'm tired."

You nodded, winding your elbow with his.

"Yea, and we should grab some food beforehand too. I'm starving."

You marched together, arms intwined, eyes drooping, and worries cleared.

Floyd Leech

"Floyd, you can't, hey no, your foot goes through here!" Currently, you were having troubles helping Floyd into his costume.

"Jeez, I'm not in the mood for this.."

"Don't be a baby.. lord almighty, could Azul have chose any other costume genre? This looks like quarantine shopping all over again-"

You weren't absolutely sure what the Octavinelle costumes were supposed to be, but you did know that your costume was worlds better.

When Floyd finally had the costume on correctly, he grumbled, staring down at you.

"I don't want to trick and treat."

"'Neither do I, so let's hurry up. There will be candy."

Floyd's eyes brightened slightly at the mention of candy.

"Fine."

"Yea, there's your spirit." You said in a monotone voice, no less.

Instead of trick and treating around town, NRC set up a school system where students could visit dorms and staff rooms for treats. Something about giving the students some holiday cheer.

"I hope someone has calissons. I haven't had any of those for a while." You spoke, mostly to yourself, but Floyd retorted to your quip.

"Calissons are gross."

"You know nothing, feeble mortal."

The walk from your dorm to the first dorm, Heartslaybul, was quiet but not uncomfortable.

You honestly just wanted to get this over with so you could take a nap. Preferably after watching some horror movies or something of the sort.

You walked through the mirror to Heartslaybul, making it to the front gate and knocking on the door.

Both you and Floyd held out your trest baggies, letting out a bored "Trick or Treat" in unison.

You watched as Trey dropped candies into your baggies. There was some candy corn, carambars, chocolate, and a small plastic bag of chamallows.

You waved to Trey and made your way to the next stop.

"This is a kid's holiday, yea?"

"Not necessarily. People used to dress up before All Saint's Day because they didn't want the ghosts to eat their asses."

Floyd nodded, a michevious grin spreading across his face.

"It doesn't have to be Halloween to get your ass-"

You punched his arm, "oh shut up, you."

He snickered loudly, poking fun at you until you made it to the next dorm.

That's how the rest of the night continued. Go from dorm to dorm, collect your candies, then make jokes and quips between getting candy.

At the end of the night, you and Floyd headed back to your own dorm to exchange candies.

"I think we have most of our candy is the same-" You mentioned, dumping your candy on the ground.

"I don't have any carambars." Floyd spoke, reaching over and grabbing a handful of carambars from your pile.

"Hey! We're exchanging, not stealing!"

He shoved a piece of candy in his mouth, rolling his eyes and trifling through his candy baggie.

"Here, you can have these then."

He threw a plastic wrapping at you, going back to his own candies.

Picking up the wrapping, you smelled it briefly and smiled.

"Oh, so you had calissons? And you don't even like them."

He nodded, laughing to himself.

"Yea, I specifically asked Trein for those."

You chuckled quietly, turning the calissons over in your hand.

"Well, thank you. This has been my best trick or treat event ever."

Floyd nodded, giving you a toothy grin before shifting his focus back to the candies.

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home

Bakugo X Reader 

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

Warnings * This one is a little heavier than stuff I have written in the past. Kidnapping and mentions of abuse. 

Words: 3676

*****************************************************************************************************

This was the third night in a row he had woken up in a cold sweat. This had been happening periodically for months but it had been happening more frequently lately. It was the same dream over and over again. It would always start as a normal dream but before he knew it, there was a girl maybe a year or two younger than he was. She was always dressed in the same shitty dress. Her hair wild and tangled. But  nothing was more haunting than her eyes. They were so sad and scared. She was always reaching out to him, her lips moving but no noise coming out. He desperately wanted to know what she was saying, but he never got the chance. He’d always wake up panting and angry. 

It didn't matter what time it was he always got up after that and went for a run. There was no going back to sleep after that. Those eyes were burned into his brain. Every time he closed his eyes he could see that scared look, and it crushed him. 

He didn't even know this girl. At least he didn’t think he did. He read somewhere that your brain can’t invent new people so all the people in your dreams where people you had seen before. 

Was she someone he had saved in the past. No he would have remembered her, he could tell she was pretty even if she was underfed and covered in dirt. Was she someone he saw in a movie or on TV? That had to be it. The only problem was he had been so busy with hero work he hadn't had the time to relax and watch anything in months. He was in his first year as a Pro Hero and he was working relentlessly to make sure everyone knew his name. 

He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a look at the clock. 4 am. Fuck he had only been asleep for a little over two hours. He rubbed his temples. He had to report to work in six hours. Maybe he should just go in early. If he’s going to be awake he might as well get paid for it. 

He sluggishly got dressed and drained the rest of his coffee. Thank god today was supposed to be a short day anyways. He didn't know if he could make it through another 24 hour shift. 

The ding of the elevator sounded louder than usual, and in his exhausted grumpy state he took it very personally. As if the elevator knew he was tired and wanted to taunt him. 

He walked over to his desk and threw his bag that held his costume onto it before slumping into his chair. 

“Wow. dont take this wrong way. But you kind of look like shit.” He looked over to the cheery as hell red head that he usually would consider his best friend, “How the hell am I not supposed to take that the wrong way?”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean you just look tired is all. Speaking of which shouldn't you be asleep right now? Your shift doesn't start until 10. I know you’re punctual and all but four hours early seems a bit extreme.” 

He leaned back in his chair attempting to rub the exhaustion from his eyes, “I’m fine. I have paperwork to catch up on before my shift starts anyways.” 

Kirishima gave him a concerned look, “You hate paperwork man. What’s really going on?”

He debated for a few seconds if he should say anything, but then decided it might help to actually to talk about it with someone. “I’ve been having these weird dreams... Theres always this girl-”

“A girl! ooooh is she pretty?” 

He gave the red head an annoyed look. 

“Oh right not important. Continue. Sorry.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes she is pretty. Anyways. She keeps popping into my dreams. It looks like she needs help but I can never hear her. She’s dirty and way too skinny and I dont know.. Its just messing with my head.” 

Kirishima seemed to ponder on that for a bit, “Do you recognize the girl? Like is she someone you know?” 

Bakugo sighed, “No, at least I dont think I do.” 

Kirishima nodded, “What is she doing in these dreams?” 

“I dont know. I guess she’s reaching out to me. At least that’s what it looks like.” 

Kirishima brought his hand up tp his chin as if he was Sherlock Holmes solving a case, “Why dont you take her hand then? If she’s reaching out to you, it must mean she wants you to right?” 

Bakugo threw his hands up in defeat, “I dont fucking know! Even if I wanted to it’s not like I have complete control over my dreams. I’m asleep for fucks sake.” 

Kirishima rolled his eyes, “Alright grumpy gills. I think you need a nap. And this time if any girls happen to stroll through your dreams at least try to hold their hand and see where that gets you. Alright? I’ll handle your paperwork and come wake you up when it’s time for your shift.” 

He wanted to argue but even after 3 cups of coffee he was utterly exhausted. He couldn't work like this. Kirishima was right. He needed a nap. 

He curled up on one of the couches in the break room and fell asleep almost instantly. His dreams started out normal enough. Nothing odd in any way and then out of no where. There she was. Reaching out to him. Her eyes terrified, a silent scream on her lips. 

He was supposed to do something. What was it? Oh yeah. He slowly reached his hand out to hers. It seemed to go so slowly as if he was moving through molasses. His muscles hurt from the effort of forcing his arm up to meet hers. 

Finally his fingers brushed against hers... and he heard it. 

Her voice rang out loud and clear. “Help me Ground Zero! Please!” 

He gripped her hand tighter, “Who are you? What do you want?” 

The girl started to cry, “No time for that now. They’re onto me! Where are you?”

Bakugo flinched, “I’m at work at All Mights new agency.” 

She nodded her head in understanding and for the first time ever she left before he woke up.

Next thing he knew he was being shook awake, “Come on man time to get up! Tell your dream girl you’ll call her back later.” 

He shot straight up, “I did it...”

“That’s great..... what did you do?” 

Bakugo stood up his body coursing with adrenaline, “I touched her hand... and I heard her! She asked me for help and asked me where I was.” 

Kirishima looked at him like he had lost it, “Alright crazy pants enough of that. You know its a dream right? As in it’s not real. This is real, we are real, and you’re really about to be late if you dont hurry up and get changed.” 

Bakugo spent the rest of his shift on high alert. He looked around every corner to see if you were there. You were real. He doesn't now how, but he knows that to be true. He knew he couldn't say that out loud without sounding like a escaped mental patient but his heart kept telling him you needed him. 

Your voice played on an endless loop through his head. It drowned out everything else including Kirishima's annoying consistent ramble. 

The day flew by faster than usual which Bakugo was extremely grateful for. He was practically running out the door with Kirishima yelling after him about meeting up for drinks later. Yeah that wasn’t happening. 

He had taken all of three steps out of the building when he was being tackled. Well tackled wasnt exactly the right word, because that would imply that he fell, which he did not. Instead he lost his balance for a second before turning to see the source. 

It was her. It was you. 

“Shit shit shit. You’re real. I knew it! What are you doing here? Who are you?” 

You looked up at him with desperate eyes, “Get me out of here. They’re after me! I promise I’ll tell you everything just please get me somewhere safe.” 

He looked around to see if anyone was watching, but no one was around. He grabbed your hand and started walking towards his apartment, “I only live a few bocks from here. Think you can make it that far?” 

You nodded. If only he knew how far you had already come to find him. 

Soon enough you were being dragged through the door to his apartment. He lead you to the kitchen table and immediately began to pace back and forth in front of you. He suddenly stopped and looked at you, his eyes boring into yours. “Alright are you going to tell me who the fuck you are and what the fuck is going on?” 

You flinched a bit at his angry voice but quickly reminded yourself that he was good, he wouldnt hurt you. You composed yourself the best you could under the circumstances, “My name is Y/n. I was kidnapped as a child by a group of villains. They have been using my quirk to their advantage for years. I finally managed to get out and come find you.” 

He pulled a chair up so he could sit and face you, “Okay but why me? Out of all the people in the world why me? How were you in my head?” 

You looked down into your lap where your fingers were gripping the hem of your dirty dress, “My quirk allows me to enter people dreams. I'm a dream walker. But it cant be just anyone. I have to have seen their face and I have to know their name. I was a child when they took me. I didn't know any better. I thought they were my family. It wasnt until I got older that I realized how wrong what they were doing was. They would have me enter peoples dreams to get them to confess things, gain information, plant ideas... One day I fought back and tried to reach out for help. The only problem was I didn't know anyone... everyone I knew was a villain. All the people that I had visited in dreams before wouldn't listen to me. And why should they. I betrayed them. I entered their dreams, and stole their private information. Even if they wanted to help, I had no idea where I was... there was no way for them to find me.” 

He reached out and took your hand in his, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.... but you still haven't answered my question... why me?” 

He may be a bit insensitive but he still had no idea who you were and he didn't want to run the risk of this being some weird twisted trap. 

You wiped a tear from your dirt stained cheeks. “One night I snuck out of my room t- to try and get something to eat.... and the news was on, on the tv in the kitchen. It was an interview with you. I saw your face and I heard the name Ground Zero.  That’s all I got before I was being dragged back to my room and was pumped full of so many drugs so I couldnt use my quirk.” 

You were shaking now, “I dont know why and I cant explain it. But I felt a weird connection with you. Every day I repeated your name over and over again through my drugged state so I wouldn't forget it. I kept telling myself you were going to save me. Finally I was able to push through the drugged haze to reach out to you. To walk into your dream.”

Bakugo’s head was spinning, “Is that why I couldnt hear you? Because you were drugged?” 

You shook your head, “No, I have to have permission to truly be in someones head, you had to touch me, to acknowledge me before I can talk to you.” 

He took a deep breath, “Well I’m sorry I didn't do it sooner.... So how did you get here.” 

You started messing with the hem or your dress again, “They decided to move me to a different location. Said I was being too difficult and needed to be taught a lesson. I jumped out of the back of a moving van. I didn't know where I was going but I found my way to the city and asked the first person I saw for directions.” 

Bakugo was leaning towards you now, completely invested in the story, “Why didn't you go to the police?”

You sighed, “I dont know who to trust. They have moles everywhere. I cant risk showing up on a police report. They’d find me.” 

He nodded for a few moments thinking it over. “Ok.... well... I have a spare bedroom you are more than welcome to use. It looks like you need some food and it smells like you need a shower. The bathroom is down the hall, do you like spicy food?”

Your eyes widened, “Does that mean you’ll let me stay?”

He huffed, “Well I’m not going to fucking kick you out to rough it on the streets! Now do you like spicy food or not?” 

You shrugged as you tried to hold back the relieved tears that threatened to spill out, “I dont know. I’ve never had spicy food. I was only ever fed white rice. Sometimes if I did a good job they would add chicken.” 

He gave you a sad look, “Alright so I’ll go easy with the seasoning. Take your time, relax and I’ll get you some clean clothes.” 

You nodded as you walked carefully over to the bathroom he had pointed out earlier. You were almost too scared to touch anything. You didn't want to do anything that would make him change his mind. 

The shower felt so good. You couldnt remember the last time you had, had a shower. It had to have been during what you called your cooperative phase. They were so nice to you then. Before you realized they were all monsters. You had a nice soft bed, your own bathroom, and so many books to read. When you fought back everything had changed. 

You could see all the mud and dried blood swirling around before it went down the drain. You decided then and there that this was goodbye to your old life. If you could even call it a life. It was all going down the drain as well and you were never going back.

When you finally stepped out of the shower there was a warm looking hoodie as well a a pair of shorts and boxers sitting on the bathroom counter. The hoodie hung down to your knees and you had never felt so warm and fuzzy. You didn't know it was possible for an article of clothing to feel... safe. 

You walked out into the hallway and could hear hushed voices, you panicked. Had they already found you? 

“Dude I heard the shower running and you’re cooking... you definitely have a girl over! Who is it?”

“Will you shut up! She’ll hear you!”

“You DO have a girl over!” 

“Will you just fucking leave already? I promise I’ll tell you about it later. Tell the director I won't be able to make it work for the next few days. I’m uh.. sick.” 

“Sick huh?”

“Yeah I’m sick... sick of your shit, now leave!” 

You couldnt help it you giggled. It sounded so weird but it was undeniably a giggle. You felt a weight start to slowly lift from your shoulders. 

You waited until you heard the door shut before leaving the safety of the hallway and joining Ground Zero at the diner table. Your mouth started to water and you stomach rumbled, it all looked so good. You looked over to him, unsure if it would be rude to just dig in. 

He froze with a spoon midway to his mouth, “What? Are you waiting for permission or something? Fuck that just eat.” 

Your eyes lit up as you started to drain your bowl or soup first, immediately followed by mountain of noodles. It all tasted so good, “Thank you so much Ground Zero. This is delicious. You are an amazing cook.” 

You could see him blush a bit before shoving another bite into his mouth numbing a quick, “It’s Bakugo.”

You both sat in an awkward silence, eating until you were both fat and happy. When you finally decided you were done you leaned back into you seat. “That had to be the best meal I’ve ever had.”

Bakugo stood up and started collecting the dishes, “Dont take this the wrong way but it’s not like your pallet was all that expanded before.” He could see hurt flash over your features briefly before you schooled them back to neutral. He tried to salvage this conversation, “But dont worry I’ll try to stay away from cooking rice. I have a feeling you've had enough of that.”

You smiled as you stood up to help, “Here you cooked, the least I could do is clean up.” 

He took the plate that was in your hand, “Maybe next time... You’ve had a shower, you’ve been fed, now you just need to get a good nights sleep.” He gestured over to the hallway. “The bedroom at the end of the hall is mine. The one thats closest to us right now it the guest bedroom and the they're connected by the bathroom. I’ve been told I snore so I will apologize in advance for that. Go ahead and make yourself at home. There’s a tv and everything.” When you didn't move he gave you a light hearted nudge in the direction of the bedroom. “Honestly dont worry about it. I got it from here. Go get some sleep.” 

You weren't used to someone taking care of you and it made you feel suspicious. This was too good to be true. But you were also too tired to dwell too much. For the first time in a long time you were clean, full, and you actually have a bed to sleep in. Besides Ground Zero was a hero. Theres no way he’d do something to hurt you.... right? 

You tip toed over to your new room and marveled at how comfortable the bed looked. You pulled your pants off, opting for just the hoodie and boxers. Burrowing into the covers with your pile of comfy pillows beneath you, you practically hummed in comfort. You rolled over and saw Bakugo through the bathroom. He was also getting ready for bed in the dim light of his bedside lamp. He gave you a soft smile before closing his door. 

You weren't necessarily a fan of closed doors. You cant lock a door that isn't closed after all. But you felt safe none the less. You knew he was just in the other room. So you found yourself drifting off. 

You were back in your old room. Nothing but a bucket and a stained pillow so thin it may as well have just been a pillow case. You could smell the contents of the bucket in the corner and it made you want to puke. It was freezing but all you had for warmth was the thin tattered dress you wore. Your body hurt from how hard you were shivering. The pain in your stomach the worst of all. They hadn't fed you in a few days. Saying only good girls deserve food. You huddled further into yourself as you heard the deadbolt to what may as well have been your cell click. Someone was coming in. What do they want? The big guy walked in. The one with the crooked nose. “Time to take your medicine.” You thrashed around and tried to resist but he just held you down, laughing that sickly laugh that would haunt you forever. 

“NO!” 

You shot up in bed. Your face was soaked with tears. You felt a strong grip on you shoulder. You swung into the darkness and felt your fist connect with something solid. 

“Oi! relax its just me. You were having a nightmare. Thought I’d come wake you up.” 

You rubbed your eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn't mean to wake you.” 

He turned on the lamp on your nightstand, “It’s okay, it’s not like I have to work tomorrow anyways....” He was lost. He wanted to comfort you but he didn't want to crowd you. He also just met you today and shouldn't have such a strong urge to wrap his arms around you. But he does and he doesn't know how he feels about it. “So... do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, “I’d rather not. I just want to forget all about it...”

Bakugo nodded, “Thats fair... well if you need anything I’ll be right through there.” He pointed through the doors to his room. 

You bit your lip as you mustered up your courage, “Do you think you could... I mean you totally dont have to... but if its okay with you... could you... possibly stay with me until I fall asleep?” 

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Uh... sure. I guess. That’s fine.”

You quickly snuggled back into your side of the bed and he got comfortable on his. He took a look at your sleeping face and felt his heart start to ache. You hadn't needed to tell him about your nightmare because you had already shown it to him. You had subconsciously pulled him into your dream and he had a front row seat to the horrors of your past. He reached out and brushed a stray hair away from your sleeping face. He’ll be damed if anyone tried to hurt you again. 

[nakuuro1994]

The Fairly OddFamily: Scary OddFamily

By nakuuro & jaxnation15

(So once upon a time on a seemingly ordinary Halloween night in a rather small suburb in Dimmsdale, California. Timmy Turner & his new God-Siblings (Trixie, Chester, Tootie, A.J. & Chloe) are relaxing & hanging out at Timmy’s house while watching the new Crash Nebula Halloween Special “Wrath of the Jackobots” while also getting ready to go out for some trick-or-treating!!!)

~ (Chester): Oh man, this year is going to be the best Halloween EVER!!!

~ (Timmy): Hehe yeah it is!!! We're gonna get so much candy!!! (He said this while grabbing some toilet paper for his mummy costume.)

~ (Tootie): And I finally get to do it with the boy of my dreams!!! (She was putting on her werewolf costume to wear.)

~ (Trixie): I know right!!! But hey, I’m just glad that I can actually enjoy some Halloween fun with you guys for a change!!! (As she tries putting on her rather large “Bride of Frankenstein” wig on)

~ (A.J.): Not to mention that theres a good 85% chance of us getting the maximum amount of Halloween candy around the neighborhood this year as well!!! (He stated as he puts on the finishing touches to his Frankenstein’s Monster costume)

~ (Chloe): And the best part is, everyone's gonna be out tonight! So we're sure to get tons of scares with our candy too!!! (She puts the finishing touches on her Dracula costume.)

~ (Timmy): This is gonna be the BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!!!

~ (Wanda): Alright kids, you all have some fun, but be careful not to get too carried away with the candy now!!!

~ (Cosmo): OH! Relax Wanda, They’ll be fine, plus since it’s Halloween again, we could finally join in on the fun without nobody finding out that we’re actually fairies!!!

~ (Wanda): Oh my gosh, you’re right!!! I almost forgot about that!!!

(So while Cosmo & Wanda change into their Halloween costumes to blend in, Timmy & the gang decided to finally head out to their first stop around the block until they all see a rather bizarre & haunting sight that they all didn’t see coming.)

~ (Chester): OMG!!! I CANT BELIEVE IT!! Vicky is the new leader of the neighborhood watch!?

~ (Timmy): WHAT?! Vicky's gonna ruin our night and everyone else's Halloween night!!!

~ (Tootie): Awww we won't be having any fun at all this year!!!

~ (Chloe): Well what can we do about it?!

~ (Trixie): Well....can we just say something & stand up for ourselves? (she says while her large wig is flopping on one side)

~ (A.J.): I highly doubt it, since she’ll probably just bury us all six feet under if we say anything.

(While they all observe her from a safe distance, Vicky begins her plans for both collecting, confiscating & hoarding all of the neighborhood kid’s Halloween candy for “safety inspections” while also making rather mean jabs at their Halloween costumes as well)

~ (Vicky): ALIGHT, WHO’S NEXT?

(One rather small 6-year old girl in a angel costume soon regretfully hands her only Halloween bucket to Vicky as she just adds it to the ever growing mountain on stolen Halloween candy that she’s been collecting for the past couple of hours)

~ (Trixie): OKAY THAT’S IT, GUYS WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!!!

~ (A.J): Well...I say that we might actually need some help with this....Y’know....maybe some “magical help”!!!

~ (Chester): OH!!!.....RIIIGHT!!!.....some “Magical Help”.....yeah, I don’t get it!!!

~ (Trixie): UHHH....Chester, I think he meant asking Cosmo & Wanda for help?!

~ (Chester): OH!!....RIGHT!! Why didn’t I think of that!!!

~ (A.J.): Hey Timmy, where are Cosmo & Wanda right now anyways?

~ (Tootie): Yeah, aren't they always with you?

~ (Timmy): (holds up a pink bag and a green bag, with their faces popping up) Yeah, they're always with me!

~ (Cosmo): Hey kids, anything you need help with?

~ (Wanda): Because whatever it is, we’ll certainly do it no problem!!!

~ (Chloe): We need to find a way to stand up to Vicky and stop her from taking away everyone's candy!!!

~ (Tootie): How can we do that?

~ (Trixie): Hmmm....maybe we can all wish for our Halloween costumes to become “real & scary” so we can pretty much scare her into giving everyone’s candy back.

~ (Chloe): Um....Are you sure that will-

~ (Timmy): (to Cosmo and Wanda) I WISH OUR COSTUMES WERE REAL AND SCARY!!!

~ (Cosmo & Wanda): UHHH...YOU GOT IT!!!

(As soon as the wish was granted, Timmy’s & his God-Sibling’s respective monstrous & spectacular transformation were about to begin along with every kid in the whole city)

(Every kid began to feel strange, especially the main six. That's when they all began to transform right in front of their eyes! From ghosts to barbarians to witches to princes to villains, everyone was turning into their own monstrously spectacular being from the costume!)

(Chester was the first to change as his body began to grow in size while also developing a nice shining coat of green scales all over his body like a suit of armor that encompasses his entire being as he also starts to sprout razor sharp claws, fangs & fish-like gills as a result)

~ (Chester): OMG!!! THIS FEELS SO COOL!!!

(Timmy was the second to change as his body began to grow in size as well. The tissue began to turn into bandage wraps as his skin began to dry up to make him feel like a real mummy. Luckily it didn't make him too dried, just a darker tone with some wrinkles to go along with some added muscle mass on his body to finish off as a result.)

~ (Timmy): AW SWEET!!! I'M LIKE A REAL MUMMY!!!

(Then A.J. was the third to change as he grew out the most as his skin began to harden & darken onto a dark blueish grey as he also gained massive amounts of bulky muscles to compensate for his new massive frame as even his own round head began to morph & change into a rather oblong square flattop with his normally fast speech & extensive vocabulary slowing down considerably)

~ (A.J.): WELL....THIS....FEELS....PRETTY....ODD!?

(Next up was Tootie, as she grew a lot as well. Her skin began to get covered in dark brown fur, with her gaining massive amounts of muscles as well. To compliment her new size, her face began to change in that of a werewolf's face, with some wolf like ears and a massive, bushy tail. Her clothes ripped a bit as her hands and feet turned into claws, her teeth getting sharp to top it off.)

~ (Tootie): (howls loud and prowd to the moon while flexing) I FEEL AWESOME!!!

(Shortly afterwards, Trixie began to change as well, as she soon began to rapidly grow in size & stature as her large wig suddenly began to spark up with static electricity with each jolt amplifying & expanding her normallly slim & slender body into a rather majestic muscular but athletic frame as her eyes began to glow with a eerie luminous neon green light as well as her skin beginning lighten to a deathly & ghastly whitish-light green hue)

~ (Trixie): HOLY CRAP!!! THIS FEELS SO WEIRD & AWESOME!!! I LOVE IT!!!

(And last but not least was Chloe, who was also growing as well. Her body began to turn pale white, her hair began to turn long and black and white streaks, while her chest bursted out some massive breasts, and her butt inflated to the size of a watermelon! Her fingernails got sharp, her teeth even sharper and turning into fangs as she suddenly had a craving for blood, with her eyes turning blood red as a result.)

~ (Chloe): HISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! WHY DO I HAVE A SUDDEN CRAVING FOR BLOOD?!?!

(So with their respective monstrous transformations finally complete, Timmy & the gang decided to seek out and find where Vicky is so they can all collectively give her the literal fright of her life!!! But when they encountered her, they saw her getting attacked by the other monsters, who were former kids who are now trying to take their candy back. Unfortunately, some of them haven't fully grasped of their new monstrous transformations and....went wild.)

~ (Chester): WOW!!!....Well....that was pretty brutal!!!

~ (A.J.): I...HAVE...TO...AGREE!!!

~ (Timmy): I think half of us should deal with Vicky while the other half deals with....everyone else...

~ (Chloe): Yeah because this is starting to become a massacre...

~ (Trixie): Uhhh...guy's....I think we got another problem to deal with at the moment.....LOOK!!!

(But as soon as she said that, the six god-siblings soon see a group of rich kids rapidly transforming into the terrifying Jackobots from the Crash Nebula Halloween Special they just saw a few hours earlier as the four mechanical monstrosities soon began to wreak havoc all across the city of Dimmsdale as they can only look in sheer horror as they all still trying to figure out on what to do next!!!)

~ (Tootie): Uhhhh....that doesn't look too good.....

~ (Timmy): Okay, one of us deals with Vicky, while the rest of us goes to deal with these Jackobots!

~ (Chloe): And just about every other raging monster in Dimmsdale!!!

~ (A.J.): UHHH.....GUY'S.....WHAT'S....THAT....OVER.....THERE?!

(So as the newly lumbering A.J. points his finger to the sky, a rather massive & familiar alien spaceship soon crash lands into the neighborhood as Mark Chang of Yugopotamia & his nerdy friends soon arrived on Earth to try and "save" Vicky from the horde of angry monsters' that are currently chasing all across town)

~ (Mark Chang): DO NOT WORRY MY LOVE hehe I, MARK CHANG OF YUGOPOTAMIA ......& MY FRIENDS, WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE EVIL MONSTER HORDE THAT CURRENTLY PLAGUES THIS PUNY PLANET!!!

~ (Tootie): Monsters, Jackobots and now Aliens....

~ (Timmy): I'm going to assume that we can't wish for everything to go back to normal yet.

~ (Wanda): I’m afraid not sport!!!

~ (Chester): And where have you two been?

~ (Cosmo): Oh! Well....we just been hiding in the nearby bushes this whole time to be perfectly honest!!!

~ (Chloe): Well....that's a bummer...

~ (Timmy): Does anyone have an idea on how to stop this?

~ (A.J): I......SUGGEST....WE.....SPLIT....UP.....IN....GROUPS..... OF.....TWO....AND.....

~ (Chester): SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!!

~ (A.J.): DIVIDE......AND..... CONQUER!!!

~ (Timmy): Two of us deals with the monsters, two of us deals with the Jackobots, and two of us deals with Mark and his crew.

~ (Tootie): Well I'm gonna be with you Timmy, so that way we can save the world together as boyfriend and girlfriend!!!:grin: (she grabs him and hugs him tightly.)

~ (Chester): I’ll guess I’ll go with Chloe so we can stop Mark Chang & his crew!!!

~ (Trixie): And I’ll go with A.J to stop the Jackobots from destroying the Earth!!

~ (Chloe): Now we got our partners, let's head out and save the world!!!

~ (Everyone): YEAH!!!

(So as the six God-Siblings decided to split up and equally divided their roles in teams of two, they all spread out across town in order to save Halloween and the Earth from certain destruction!!!)

~ (A.J.): ALRIGHT......ALL....WE....NEED....TO....DO....IS....TO...COMBINE....OUR.....ELECTRICAL.....POWERS.....AND....

~ (Trixie): And short circuit the Jackobot’s systems in order to shut them down!!! Brilliant idea A.J.!!!

~ (A.J.): THANK.....IT’S....WHAT....I....DO!!!

(While Trixie & A.J. are busy battling the Jackobots downtown, Timmy & Tootie are busy reluctantly trying to fend off the giant monster hoard from killing Vicky!!!)

~ (Timmy): (pulling and punching off one monster at a time.) Man, these monsters are hard to defeat!!! How are you holding up on your end Tootie?!?!

~ (Tootie): (pulling, punching and biting some of the monsters herself.) I'm doing as best as I can to defeat these monsters my future boyfriend!!!:grin:

~ (Timmy): oh brother....

~ (Vicky): Oh great!!! Just what I need right now, MORE MONSTERS!!!

~ (Timmy): Relax Vicky, it's just me and Tootie!!! We're trying to save you here!!!

~ (Vicky): Wait a minute, TOOTIE?!:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

TWERP, WHAT DID YOU BRATS DO?

(As soon as Vicky said that, the whole ground starts to shake as Mark Chang’s spaceship soon takes off as Chester & Chloe soon race towards Timmy & Tootie to help out with@the monster hoard!!)

~ (Timmy): That'll be explained later!!! Right now we're trying to save you!!!

~ (Chester): GOOD NEWS GUYS, we convinced Mark Chang & his friends to leave the planet..... for about two months!!!

~ (Timmy): It's better than 0 months!!!

~ (Tootie): Now let's hurry up and finish the job!!!

(So with the monster hoard defeated, all that’s left to do now is to somehow stop the Jackobots from activating the “Jack-O-Bomb” and destroying the whole planet!!!)

~ (Chester): OMG!! What do we do now!!??

~ (A.J.): CAN....ANY.....OF..... US....FLY?

~ (Chloe): I can fly!!! What do you need me to do?

~ (Trixie): Alright Chloe, all you need to do is to turn yourself into a bat and carry the Jack-O-Bomb & chuck it into outer space so that it could safely explode far away from Earth!!!

~ (Chester): And if case you were wondering if you can actually breathe in outer space as a vampire, don’t worry, you’re technically undead right now so you should definitely be fine!!!:sweat_smile

~ (Chloe): You got it!!! (Chloe turned into a bat and began to flap off to grab the Jack-O-Bomb.)

~ (Trixie): Man I hope this plan works!!!

~ (Chester): If not, it was a pleasure knowing you guys!!!

(Chloe grabbed and carried the Jack-O-Bomb, flapping up as high as possible towards the Earth's atmosphere. When she arrived, with time winding down, she spun around and toss the Jack-O-Bomb as far as possible into outer space, and just in time too! When it passed the atmosphere and drifted off, it created a massive explosion that everyone was able to see from down below.)

(So with the Earth finally saved, Timmy & the gang decided to wish for Cosmo & Wanda to change everything to go back to normal as their equally spectacular transformation back to normal was about to begin!!! So everyone in the entire world, including the 6 heroes, were all turning and shrinking down back to normal!!!)

(Chester was the first one to change back as his entire body began to shrink as his razor sharp fangs, claws & fish-like gills soon disappeared as well as his armor-like green scales started to fade away as well.)

(Timmy was next, as his skin started to turn back to normal, he was shrinking back to his normal size, and the wrappings around him began to turn back into some toilet paper.)

(A.J. soon started to change back next as his entire body started to rapidly shrink back to normal size as his skin started to soften & lighten up again as well as his head was beginning to reshape itself back to its normal round shape as well thus allowing him to speak in full sentences again!!)

(Tootie began to lost all her fur, shrunking back down into her normal size, along with her face turning to it's original self, her tails poofing off of her, her skin changing back to normal and her claws turning into hands and feet again.)

(Then Trixie soon began to change back shortly afterwards as her new muscular athletic body soon began to shrink back to normal as not only did her skin tone changed back & her eyes stopped glowing but even her rather large wig finally came loose and finally fell off her head as well.)

(And last but not least was Chloe, who was losing her fangs and her skin changed back to its peachy color, while her curves and her sharp mails changed back to normal. her clothes shrunk back down to her original size and looked like a costume again.)

~ (Chester): AWESOME!!! We finally changed back to normal!!!

~ (A.J.): But, we didn't get any Halloween Candy ALL NIGHT!!!

~ (Trixie): Ummm....I wouldn't say that, LOOK!!!

(So as soon as Trixie said that, all of the kids from all across the city of Dimmsdale all gathered at Timmy's house so they can give Timmy and the gang ALL of their respective Halloween candy as a way of saying thanks for saving all of them & the whole world from certain destruction!!!)

~ (Literally Everyone): HAPPY HALLOWEEN TIMMY & FRIENDS!!!

~ (Timmy): I knew this was gonna be the best Halloween ever!!!

~ (Cosmo & Wanda): THAT'S ALL FOLK'S!!

THE END

[cheswirls]

we come from the ashes (we leave under fire)

aight so now that im fully immersed in psycho pass again its time to drop the different routes of the sa psycho pass au. i think sabo and ace are just enough complex characters with different drives that they could fit into multiple roles in a pp au, so this is jus a fraction based on whats spoken to me. also, theres like, a touch of popular fanon characterization here and there but instead of far-off fanon its could-be-implied-from-canon fanon. regardless this is entirely to my taste.

also these aren’t full scenarios so some of them will cut off at odd moments!! they arent intended to be like outlines, jus my rambling thoughts. ill put a read more under the first one, theres 4 in total rn

route 1: e!sabo (former i) and i!ace [i: ace, lami | e: sabo, law, rayleigh, monet] -sabo is an inspector before ace at a young age (before turning 20) -sabo ends up being a well-rounded member of the team and soon becomes crucial to the overall success of missions -something happens that forces sabo’s hue to take a nosedive, and every little upset pushes him deeper, until his crime coefficient is so high the bureau is forced to remove him from the line of duty -knowing sabo’s innate prowess for the job, he’s placed in protective custody and forced to undergo mental therapy; however, this has the opposite effect, spiking his crime coefficient to almost unseen numbers (600+) -he spends three months in custody under observation, but as the number fails to drop, two key things are observed: 1, sabo is eerily calm for the most part, remaining near emotionless on the outside as a result of a coping mechanism learned through the attempted therapy, and for the most part functions like normal, aside from his absent personality; 2, the most part is there because sabo has brief psychotic breaks, most lasting mere minutes, but the recoil has him down and out of it for almost a full day, like someone with intense manic depression after an episode -knowing they can’t afford to lose a talent like sabo, and understanding the risks, the bureau brings him back under their care as a latent enforcer; aside from his shift in personality, and his lack of authority, sabo enters back into the life he had known before his crime coefficient skyrocketed -enter ace, three years after sabo’s reinstatement -ace and sabo are relatively close in age, but unlike sabo who joined the bureau of public safety immediately upon graduation, ace has a few years more of life experience under his belt before becoming an inspector -no one knows his ambitions or motives, and ace is careful not to let it slip, that he’s striving to uncover the situation that led up to his little brother losing his life -on ace’s first case, lami pulls him aside to say she was taking law, and wanted him to handle sabo and circle around; she warns ace not to let sabo overstep, because the power went to his head; ace asks ‘what are you trying to say?’ and lami tells him if he loosened sabo’s leash, the chain would snap off -sabo and ace, despite being in each other’s care, don’t mesh well together at first; sabo is intent to do things his own way, and is constantly berating ace for doing what he thinks is a second-rate job; the last thing ace wants is a latent criminal constantly correcting his choices and challenging his authority, but he just can’t seem to win with sabo -the first time ace witnesses one of sabo’s attacks is the same night he breaks from lami’s advice, letting sabo separate from him and monet to box in their suspect, monet makes a noise of disapproval when she sees sabo moving away, but when ace asks why, she only eyes him critically and says he’d already made his choice -they continue forward when lami contacts them through the comms, noting their target dot had stopped on the map and asking if ace had them in custody yet; ace admits he and monet were still on their way, so it was probably sabo, and lami cuts him off with a ‘sabo is alone??’ -shit, lami says, and orders him to get a move on, and to remember that they needed this one alive to link the motive to a previous case; her and the two enforcers with her would meet them there, already heading to the fixed location -it’s a frenzy to race to their destination, and ace notices along the way that his baton was missing from his person; monet mentions sabo must have taken it without his knowing, and ace opens his mouth to deny it, but he doesn’t get the chance to when they come out in an open area and find sabo burying the stolen baton into their culprit’s stomach -it’s clear that sabo had taken his time in brutalizing the person already, an when ace shouts over, asking what he was doing, mentions that sibyl’s judgement wouldn’t be enough, so he was doing it his way; ace immediately has problems with this, but him and monet are on an incline, a wide space still separating them from sabo, and his options are limited to pointing his dominator when it’s clear sabo has no intention of stopping, and hoping for the best -except, the best doesn’t happen, because sibyl scans sabo’s crime coefficient at way over 500 and still rising, and before ace’s eyes transforms into a lethal eliminator; sabo looks up, as if sensing this, and freezes as he’s met with the sight, with the dominator trained on him; it’s enough for the person under him to start squirming to get free, and ace doesn’t want to kill sabo, that wasn’t his intention by any means, but it wasn’t like there was a safety feature on dominators, so there was nothing he could do -but he could, because there was still a trigger, and as their suspect claws their way halfway out from underneath sabo, ace makes a decision, quickly pointing the dominator down as he fires, so that it hits their target instead of the enforcer; the person combusts, sabo drops his makeshift weapon and collapses to his knees, and ace’s dominator reverts to its usual state without a target to lock on -sabo still looks haunted, and its worse now that he’s absolutely covered in blood; he starts gasping for breath, curling his arms around his stained suit jacket, and falls completely as his legs give out; his hands shoot out to catch himself, but they keep slipping on all the blood on the ground, and at that moment ace doesn’t see a latent criminal, he sees someone his age looking utterly terrified, so he holsters his dominator and makes to move to help -but monet holds him back with an arm over his chest, watching sabo with a stern expression; ace looks at her incredulously and she tells him to wait in a stern tone, holstering her own dominator to activate her comm and alert lami -sabo’s panic attack has dissolved from breathing at this point, and he’s crying hysterically, one hand clenched in his hair; ace stands still and watches as lami’s group appears on the same platform, level with sabo, and take in the situation very quickly; monet releases him but he doesn’t move forward, and down below, lami ushers for law to stand in front of sabo, holding her dominator level with his chest -the read on the enforcer forces the dominator into paralyzer mode, and law sidesteps just as lami fires, ‘its time to sleep now’, so that it hits sabo instead, cutting off his hysterics as he sags fully to the messy ground  -ace realizes then that there was a trick in the system, because when she had pulled off was not unlike what he had just done with his own dominator, delivering the judgement to a different target than the one scanned; lami later admits she’d learned it from the chief inspector upon insistence of the bureau head, for situations like these, because still in moments when it seemed like sabo was too far gone, the public safety bureau still considered him and asset they couldn’t afford to lose -ace isn’t suspended for his actions, but reiju makes it very clear he was on thin ice, and he and lami aren’t on speaking terms just yet; in the lull between cases, with their only lead splattered all over a back alley, ace opts to visit sabo in medical; he had a peculiar situation, the medic ward tells him, sabo up and about around 18 hours after being paralyzed, a little longer than usual, but not behaving like it by any means; sometimes he would fall unconscious, other times he was awake but completely listless, his eyes open but unseeing, his head refusing to rise off the pillows; the ward admits the enforcer would be like this for another half day, maybe longer, though his crime coefficient had dropped down by almost 150 points; when ace asks what that made it now, its with a chuckle he’s told sabo’s range is still exceedingly high, almost at 600 -ace keeps coming back, viewing sabo from behind the glass, until he starts to regain some function; when he responds to a question while having his iv changed, ace convinces the ward to let him take sabo the tea they were bringing in; sabo eyes him critically when he walks in, but ends up thanking ace when he reaches out to take the steaming mug; ace settles into the stool beside the medical cot and sabo lets him be, not questioning his presence, not until ace starts asking questions -but sabo’s anger at being asked why quickly dissipates, his body not able to keep up with the intense emotion, and he shrugs in lieu of an answer, drinks his tea; but ace isn’t leaving, and after a while and an empty mug, sabo admits he was trying to get their suspect’s crime coefficient to rise above 300, because he didn’t like the idea of bringing them in and locking them in a cell when there was a slim chance they could recover, after what they had done -ace is horrified by this, and it must show on his face, because sabo shrugs; that’s just how he is sometimes, he admits; his mind falls into a black pit, and he can’t escape, and when it’s finally over it takes forever to feel like himself again -ace admits lami had it out for him because he killed their suspect, and the laugh sabo produces in response is gruff; she’ll get over it, he says, she’s always like that, he says, she’s not a hard person to piss off, he says; ace asks suddenly why their relationship was so tense, and sabo shrugs, saying him and lami used to be tight, but then he became like this, and she no longer thought society had a use for him

route 4: e!sabo and e!ace (both former i) [i: ace, sabo | e: katakuri, kuzan, shinobu, rebecca] -this is the one i think would be the most fun, but ultimately wouldn’t advance anywhere, with both being latent criminals and being bound by what the position entailed -in this case ace, whose own emotions had always fluctuated and took a toll on his higher-than-average crime coefficient, falls first, driven to near despair when sabo is almost fatally injured during what was supposed to be a routine roundup -sabo had taken an enforcer and was forced into close-quarters combat, and before he could subdue whatever had caused the enforcer to rage, his crime coefficient dips enough for the stunner to paralyze him (thru the enforcer using their own dominator on sabo upon identifying his elevated psycho pass); left with very little option to struggle, sabo is lethally injured and left for dead before backup arrives -ace’s crime coefficient spikes when confronting the scene, and he doesn’t hesitant to kill the enforcer before rushing to sabo’s side; unfortunately, as sabo is rushed to emergency care, his absence does ruin to ace, whose number refuses to fall as his hue grows cloudier -when sabo wakes up, on a long road to recovery, ace is nowhere to be found, and the chief inspector reveals he had been arrested; sabo is frantic, only able to think of ace, and what he was going through now, and why this had to happen to ace of all people, and then of the small box he had nestled in a hidden space in their shared flat, something he would never get to use now -the bureau releases an inter-team statement that ace was not at fault for the enforcer’s demise, ruling it off with use of the dominator, but that didn’t excuse his crime coefficient from refusing to fall, and if he wanted to continue work for the bureau, had to be reinstated as an enforcer -the toll on their new life (ace living somewhere different, ace having a curfew, no longer having ace next to him every second of the day, no longer even to have him to hold at night) is heavy for sabo, and it doesn’t help that ace keeps saying it was expected, that he become just like his father after all -sabo grabs him by the cheeks and tells him to stop, please, bc that wasnt true and saying that would only make it worse, and didnt ace know how much he loved him for who he was already, and that ace was already perfect in sabos eyes; ace apologizes and promises to try better, and sabo breaks away, going on a mini tangent, saying how he couldnt handle it anymore and his hue was getting cloudy, and how ace had to do his best to get out, to stabilize, so that they could begin to return to some sort of sanity -ace promising to do that, and worrying over sabo’s declining mental state, because worrying over him shouldnt have been priority and yet sabo was fretting anyway, and sabo pulls back again to say this was the last time he would see ace for a while; when ace asks sabo admits he was getting institutionalized for treatment, bc it was the only thing he could think to do, and that he wanted ace to focus on getting out, even if he had to be demoted to an enforcer, bc at least he would be out in some sort of sense, and if sabo wasnt waiting for him then he would have to wait just a little longer -the realization of how much sabo was getting affected nearly kills ace, and the weight is heavy in his eyes, enough for sabo to see, and the ring box in his pocket is burning, and he doesnt even know why he brought it with him, bc its not like he could propose to a latent criminal anyway; ace knows what sabo going away means, and even if a thousand questions bubble in his mind, (what about the dog, what about the house, what about the bills, what ab-) he throws them all aside in favor of pulling sabo close, and holding him tight, and promising everything would turn out just fine, even if they would never live the way they used to before case x -(sabo goes home after being released to manage his and ace’s affairs, and ends up giving their dog away before fleeing to a mental facility) -sabo checks himself into a mental facility to deal with the sudden weight on his shoulders, sure that if he continued to suffer by himself he would end up in the same fate as ace -it doesn’t help, though; the facility sets him on a physical therapy track along with a stress recovery one, but the two don’t exactly work hand in hand, as sabo increasingly develops ptsd and more stress from the pt exercises -sabo spends an uncertain amount of time in the institution, and while he leaves nearly fully physically recovered, his psycho pass never regressed to where it was before he was injured -reiju, the chief inspector, comes to pick him up and bring him to the bureau; sabo asks what was going to happen to him on the car ride there, and reiju reveals she would give him a choice, and a handful of hours to think it over; once in her office, sabo finds ace waiting for him; reiju gives them a moment before settling, and tells sabo while he couldnt become an inspector again with his crime coefficient, he could settle for working as an enforcer for another division; she reveals more details re, he would be confined to the bureau’s tower, have restricted access, be limited regarding orders, be under someone’s strict command, etc etc; his other alternate was to undergo treatment in a cell in latent criminal housing, like ace had tried -sabo is given three hours to think it over, and reiju lets ace take him from the room; before ace can drag him far, he brings him to a sit-down with kuzan, shinobu, and one of the inspectors that had replaced them; its more of a reunion with the former two, with them sharing their experiences with the matter, and the new inspector saying it would be an honor to work with sabo, but would respect his decision either way, acknowledging that ‘becoming an enforcer wouldnt do anything to help his psycho pass, and was most likely going to make it worse’ -ace takes sabo to his room in the tower and they fall together on the couch; they have somewhat of a serious discussion about it all, because while ace would love to have sabo by his side, he knows it wouldnt be permanent like it used to be, because they would be on different divisions, they would most likely have separate living quarters, and their freedoms were greatly restricted; the other side is that sabo could potentially get better, and if his psycho pass recovered and was cleared, he could live on the outside again, he could be an inspector if he wanted, or he could do anything; he didn’t have to work for the bureau anymore if it was too much, whereas if his psycho pass was never fully cleared, he wouldnt have any sort of option, being confined to a cell -ace doesnt realize, but sabo has all but given up; hed spent so long in the hospital, and if that hadnt worked, how would being in a cell help any more?; he knows, logically, given enough time, things that hadnt worked before might begin to help, but he also knows that would be a long road to recovery, and right now he was only concerned with the short and easy; he dissuades ace in the gentlest way possible and reveals he would settle for an enforcer position, since the bureau would still have him, and this way he could be with ace again, as close to normal as they could get -ace doesnt know what to feel, because short term him feels gratified that he would have sabo back, but long term he knew sabo was giving up a shot at normal life again, and it killed him to acknowledge that; he doesnt react any one way or another, accepting sabos decision -reiju is much the same, taking his choice without any approval or disapproval; she makes a number of calls and system commands while sabo waits on the plush couch, and when she’s done sabo has an updated id card, badge, terminal access, a cleared desk with his confiscated items being moved to it, and funds for at least one suit; all the basics, along with one holo flipped to face his way, revealing a walkthrough diagram of a basic furnished apartment that had the potential to be his -when sabo questions the last part, reiju smiles, and puts two keys on the desk; one is the new apartment, and the other is a spare of ace’s; sabo is startled when he realizes the implications, and reiju’s smile turns knowing; she cautions him that he could always have a place of his own to escape to, but sabo doesnt hesitate to take the second key and hold it close -reiju tells him to retire for the night, and in the morning, he would report to his division’s staff room for the [evening/morning, trauma relive implications for evening, escapism for morning] shift, the same as ace’s timetable; if anything happened, he already knew standard protocol, and if anything didnt, it was more time spent unpacking to his desk and familiarizing himself with the team -ends (?) with sabo meeting sonia, who had joined the division during his absence, and lami, who he knew only in passing, and law, an enforcer he knew used to be an inspector like him; ends w sabo telling ace he hasnt given up, not just yet, but that he wanted to help people again in the meantime, even if that meant stretching out his recovery a little longer, and that ace better not have given up either, and ace affirming that he hadn’t

route 5: i!ace and i!sabo (turned e) [i: koby, sabo | e: rayleigh, law, izo, kuzan] [i: ace, sonia | e: sabo, law, ikkaku, izo] -for the most part, sabo and ace have life made; they’re married, they share a house, they’re partnered on the job in the same division, everything is as it should be -and then an incident occurs, and the first division is suddenly looking for a new inspector to replace the one that had lost, and to help close out the ongoing investigation -they end up choosing sabo, who is hesitant at first, but after getting debriefed on the case, jumps on the case; now things get a little rougher, longer hours for sabo, different timetables, multiple nights where he pulls all-nighters and resists the pull of his bed at home for his desk at work -ace becomes spiteful after being supportive for so long, almost unable to bear the stress of never seeing sabo for such long stretches of time; and their relationship becomes strained as a result, because sabo doesn’t want to move back down to a lower division now that he’s tasted the top -and then something goes wrong, and sabo comes home near dawn very awake and very afraid, and forgets that he and ace are mad at each other, and runs to him for comfort; ace stays awake with him until they both have to leave for work, never asking what was wrong, only being a soothing presence that ultimately amounts to nothing, when sabo is refused entry into the bureau for his bad psycho pass -(ace first noticing sabo’s hand shaking, and the fact that he could see his hand, that his gloves were off, was the first sign that something was very wrong. sabo lets ace hold him for a long time, try and work on getting him to breathe, and then calming him down, and then sabo bursts out crying, and ace quietly shushes him, drawing him closer, saying it was okay, whatever it was, it would be okay, they would move past it, together, because they did everything together and ace wasn’t going to leave him alone for this; this just makes sabo cry harder because he knows ace can’t follow, not with a clear mental hue, and its a big punch to the gut; ace stripping sabo of his suit jacket and holding him close, lying them on their bed, and finally as sabo’s cries become only harsh breaths, asks if he needed to skip work, take the day off; sabo doesn’t have to think long to know that was only delaying the inevitable, because his hue wasn’t going to change if he was home alone stressing or home with ace stressing -he knew what he’d been through was too much for either of them to handle by themselves, and being given one day to live in bliss and ignorance would only make the next day, when they had to return to the bureau, that much harder) -sabo and ace’s day-to-day lives are upheaved after this; sabo is stripped of his rank and authority, and suddenly instead of it being a rarity that him and sabo would cross paths at home, sabo is never home because he is not allowed to be -the bureau forces sabo to stay at a rehabilitation center and he does so for two long months, learning to control his emotions even as his crime coefficient never fully stabilizes below 100 again; after this time, before he’s released, the new division one inspector now partnered with ace pays him a visit and urges him to come back to div 1 with her, saying they could really use his help, that they still needed him, that he still had a purpose, and a chance, under sibyl -privately, sabo thinks to himself that the sibyl system is the entire reason his life is now in shambles; things would never go back to how they were, but at least if he rejoined the bureau as an enforcer, he could live at the psb and ace would be allowed to visit, as opposed to living in latent criminal housing in isolation -sabo accepts and ace tackles him they next time they meet at the bureau, nearly on the verge of tears, and their colleagues give them a minute to sort themselves; ace admits that he thought sabo still had a chance, that there was that story of an enforcer who had recovered and was able to rejoin society, and that he promised when sabo recovered enough to live on the outside again, they would both quit the bureau and live more peaceful lives; sabo has reservations about all these hopes, but he’s not in the mood for disappointing ace more than he already has, so he keeps his mouth shut -division 1 has almost been entirely restructured since sabo’s departure, but the case that had left the division devastated was still open-ended, much to his distress, but no new leads and a new distinct lack of things to follow up on leave the case virtually at a standstill; sabo vows to look into it on his own time, because it wasn’t something he was willing to let go just yet -ace catches him in the act, because ace is always watching him these days, but after sabo admits his intentions declares he wants to help too; seeing sabo willingly put himself into the line of fire again by opening the case back up does something to ace, makes him realize how much sabo is willing to push himself for others and for the sake of his job, and how that was a quality of his he’d always been in love with

route 6: i!sabo and e!ace [i: lami, sabo | e: ace, rebecca, monet, law] -in this one ace is a latent criminal with a high crime coefficient and is jaded from his past with roger, believing it to be his father’s fault and his father’s legacy that drove him over the edge -sabo is an upstart at the public safety bureau, and he has just recently transferred to the division ace serves in as an enforcer -ace is brash and uncompromising, not unlike other enforcers sabo had worked with but far more difficult (this is definitely the enemies to lovers route k? k) and the best advice sabo can get from his new coworkers are don’t even try with him -but it’s unlike sabo to give up without a challenge, and so he attempts to match ace, crazy stunt for stupid tactic for idiotic, rushed plan, enough so that after a bit ace goes from being annoyed to being slightly impressed sabo was willing to put himself through so much; not that he would ever admit it aloud, though -the turning point is sabo doing a daring move on a case that saves the life of another enforcer; ace turns the thought in his head, and decides he could respect sabo’s actions in that instance, because enforcers were replaceable and technically criminals with no futures, but sabo had put one before his own life anyway, and something about that touches ace in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time -their relationship evolves from that point, where ace will stop sabo from rushing in instead of letting the inspector risk himself for his own amusement, and generally tries to watch sabo’s back when the chance arises; it takes sabo a little while and a few prods from others to notice ace’s flip, but once he starts taking it in, his view of the enforcer changes little by little -because it’s not like ace is a bad person, per se; true, he was a brute and he could be vicious and he had a temper and a tendency to snap bones before asking questions, but he wasn’t always like that; he wasn’t like that to little rebecca, who was younger than him, or any of the victims they encountered on the scene that didn’t deserve the harsh sentiment; he didn’t have the energy to be nasty and self-serving all the time, and as sabo begins to watch for it, it shows more and more -it reaches a point, ace looking out for him, where when they’re on a dangerous scene confronted with the aftermath of something horrific, and sabo descends into a panic attack and nearly loses himself, it’s ace that stays by him the entire time and helps pull him from his mind, soothing him enough that his number drops to normal -from then on, the negative outlook they held of each other disappears near entirely; sabo still finds he struggles with the memories of that day, and ace more often than not is by his side when he’s consumed by thoughts, helping to ease him out -it happens late enough one night, with sabo hunched over his desk staring at his bright computer screen, pouring over scarce documents to a tough case, that he’s startled when he’s pulled from bad thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder and an even warmer drink being pressed into his hand; ace convinces him, after an hour of fruitless effort of turning up anything new, to take a breather, at least until the sun was out; sabo agrees, almost too tired to function, and lets ace lead him from the room and into one of the spacious lobby areas, where they both collapse onto a couch; sabo doesn’t even notice ace running a hand through his light hair until he can fall asleep, or the way he’s caged in by ace’s legs, reclined against his front -when sabo wakes in the morning he is not alone, but ace is keeping distance; he’d waved around a mug of heavy espresso until the smell had sabo roused from sleep, crouched down in front of the couch, and sabo finds his head propped up by pillows that feel cold compared to . . he’s not sure what -monet enters into the lounge when sabo is sat up and a bit more awake, and pauses to eye him for a minute, until her mouth curves into a dangerous smirk; sabo asks but she shrugs, leaving without giving him a proper answer; later, in the office, sabo finds her and law hunched together, the two looking up at the same time to fix him with knowing looks that he doesn’t know how to respond to -sabo looks around and asks where lami was, since her shift just ended, and law tells him she was in his room several floors down, revealing when she needed rest but couldn’t afford to go all the way home for it (or stubbornly refused not to) then she had a spare key to his quarters so she could sleep without leaving the psb tower -sabo is mildly surprised by this, knowing the relationship between her and law but being unaware that inspectors entered into the rooms of enforcers, previously viewing the invisible boundary between the two as much more strict -but as he begins to observe more, he finds that maybe that wasn’t the case; and his own feelings regarding it all surface when rebecca has lunch with him one day, and admits that shes ‘never seen ace act the way he does with you with anyone before’

[tinywriter2018]

Third Raven 

Arya stood next to her sister on the balcony overlooking the practice yard.  The two girls had aged since they last saw each other, but to Sansa, Arya will still be her little sister. 

“Is that some grey I see?”  Arya teased her.  Her dark brown hair had some as well.  Grey to soon for the both of them, yet still there.  

“Ruling is hard and stressful.”  Sansa turned away from her sister, watching little Ned practice his archery once more.  Arya’s eyes fell on the boy.  

“Hes growing taller.”

“He grows more and more like you when you were that age.”  

“I hope not. I was a handful.  Almost nearly stopped Septa’s heart at least once or twice a day.”  Arya smiled.  Remembering chasing after Bran and Rickon.  “Hes a lot better than what I could have ever done.”  

“The cub wants to become a direwolf all too soon.  If that’s not a Stark trait I don’t know what is.”  Sansa clutched the railing, her mind no longer looking towards the future, just the past haunting her. 

“Sansa your his mother.”  

“I was his mother because I had to become it.  He asks about you almost daily now.”  

“What do you tell him?”  

“The truth.  He has my blood, but I can’t keep lying to him.  He will know soon or later.”  Sansa watched Jon approach the stairs.  His smile wide, seeing Arya after so long.  “The truth always finds a way of coming out.”  She whispered to her sister before Jon could approach them.  

“Sister!”  He exclaimed, wrapping her into a hug.  Arya stiffened a little before melting into the contact.  The ten years away had not treated her as kindly as her brother would have hoped for.  

“Jon!  The wall seems to be keeping you fit still.”  

“Well we still have raiders and bandits up north.”  

“No signs of the return of Winters?”  Arya felt her stomach twist, the blue eyes she closed still haunt her dreams some nights.  

“I believe they have been erased for good his time.  At least we can all hope that.”  

“Hope is for the weak.”  Arya mumbled.  They all turned to watch Ned hit the bullseye for what seemed like the hundredth time.  

“He’s good with Archery.”  

“Says he wants to be able to defeat any opponent before they even have a chance to come near.  Though he finds it boring.”  Sansa explained.  Meera looked up to them, seeing Sansa nod.  “Studying is just as important.  If you will excuse me.”  The two watch Little Ned give Meera his bow, his eyes falling onto Sansa.  

“Do I have to?”  He called.  

“You know better little cub.”  She teased.   Ned gave her a look before stomping off to the library.  

“Doesn’t Maester Wolkan teach him?”  Arya called after her.  Sansa turned giving her sister a smile.  

“We both know the only one smart enough to teach him here, is me.”  Jon took a few steps closer to her.  

“Sansa we still need to speak.”  

“Later.  I have things to do.  I’m sure Arya and yourself have some catching up to do.”  Sansa gave them one last look before making her way to the library.  

❙❙❙❙❙     ❙❙❙❙❙     ❙❙❙❙❙

Arya entered the godswoods almost like walking back through time.  The snow had melted, the pond unfrozen, and the tree’s red leaves draped the face in it’s trunk just how it always had.  The last time she remembered seeing the tree like this was back when her father still was alive.  When Ned Stark would sharpen Ice under the watchful gaze of the old gods.  Her mother kept to the new, yet she seemed to only know the one now.  The God of death still haunts her, always waiting like a friend.  

She took slow long steps forward, her hand reaching out to the graze the man in the tree.  It was here she felt closer to her family then she did with them.  The Starks and this godswoods seemed to always go hand and hand.  

“Arya?”  His voice echoed through her.  Her name ringing through her own ears, from a voice she longed to hear at least once more in her lifetime.  She turned to look at him.  To her, he seemed to be the same blacksmith she left at Kings Landing after the vote for King.  Arya went to say something, anything but he held up his hands. 

“Wait.  I need to...I miss you.”  He took a step closer.  “I’ve thought long and hard about what you told me here at Winterfell.  After I was made a Lord.  You were right...about everything.  As you always are, but that’s not the point.  The point is that you’re not a lady.  You’ve never been.  Ever since I’ve known you when you pretending, badly I might add, to be a boy, you were never a lady.  You were never meant to be in a castle, run a household, that was never in the cards for you.  But I what I do know, after thinking about all these years, is that I love you.  There will never be another you in my life.  No love that I have left would ever find anything to replace that for me.  Theres no one else.  Theres just...you.”  He stood there taking in a deep breath.  His eyes darting to the ground, the words he had been dying to say for years fell right out.  Arya walks over, placing a hand on his cheek, before kissing him.  Their lips met for what he wanted to be ages, but just a few seconds.  

“Little Ned is our son.”  She whispered to him.  Arya left Gendry standing there stunned at the revelation.  She didn’t know what to say to him, but the truth.  Sansa was always right but everything.  The Truth would come out eventually.   

❙❙❙❙❙     ❙❙❙❙❙     ❙❙❙❙❙

Jon entered into Sansa’s solar before she even knew someone was there.  Turning from the window, she looked startled to see him.  

“Jon why are-” 

“Look, you have been refusing to speak to me, to see me even.  The only reason I was brought here is because the Lords want to know if you plain to make Ned your heir apparent or pass it off to another house.  That is all.  They know a Stark must always rule, but as far as anyone can see there is no other Starks.”  Jon defends.  The door shuts behind him.  Sansa wrapped her arms around herself.  

“I can’t answer you Jon.  Because I don’t know.  A Stark must always be at the head of Winterfell but...Little Ned isn’t ready for it yet.  That is too great of Burden to put on a boy no older than Bran was when he fell.” 

“Sansa…”  Jon took a few steps closer to her.  He knew it pained her to see family suffer.  It always has. 

“I’ve received countless marriage proposals over the years, just so they would have a chance of taking my crown.”  

“You are the Queen of the North.  You have the means and the support in order to assure you your seat including keeping the Stark name.  But I don’t understand why you need another heir when Ned-”

“Isn’t mine.”  Sansa took in a deep breath, she felt the tears coming.  “He isn’t...he isn’t ours Jon.”  

“I just thought-” 

“I know what you thought.  It’s something I’ve always wanted to believe, but it’s true.  He’s Arya’s and Gendry’s son.  Ten years ago, Arya snuck back to Winterfell six months after leaving.  She was heavily pregnant and wanted him to be raised in her home.  He’s already the illegitimate son of a lord who doesn’t have an heir himself.  I like Gendry, hes a good man, but hes from the Six Kingdoms.  Which makes it more complicated than I just passing on my crown.”  

“Who all knows about his parentage?”

“Myself, Bran of course, theres no hiding from him, & Arya.  Which I’m assuming she will be telling Gendry at some point.”  Jon closed the distance between them, pulling her into a hug.  

“Sansa why do you always burden yourself with everyone else's problems and worries?”

“In all these years, I sometimes let myself believe that Little Ned was ours.  He looks like a Stark should.  Reminds me of Robb, of Arya.  My family I no longer have.”  

“I’m sorry.”  He kissed the top of her head.  “I know I can’t be here anymore.”  

“Do you wish you could?”  

“All the bloody time.”  He smiled down at her.  “Before I went South, there were moments I thought we could do this together.”  Sansa tilted her head up towards him.  His kissed her forehead, then both her cheeks, a last one on her nose.  He hovered over her lips, but Sansa closed the gap.  The kiss deepening with each second.  A memory of them so long ago, before he went south, before everything changed.  A moment they would repeat, a moment they had held in their hearts for so long with only the two of them kept locked away from anyone else.  

Masterlist 

[scige-alt]

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — james bt usually its spelled JAMES bt irl i’ve been called jimbo and jam and jammies and jimjam n w/e endearing terms bc i am precious

AGE — 20

TIMEZONE — est

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/they bt the she is more out of convenience fr others n also nothing bothers me

MBTI — istp i share this with bri and also my character viktor bt ive also gotten infp before i think which is almost the complete opposite so! take tht as u will

HP HOUSE — oh wait i actually know this i took a fckn quiz hold on. ok i took this fucker right here and i got burned gryffindor primary, model hufflepuff primary, gryffindor secondary, n model hufflepuff secondary which boils down 2 ... i dont know

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — technically yes but i havent taken a class in a year bt i used to be a social work major n then i was gna switch to english n then i wanted to do environmental / coastal / marine biology / science bt then i realized i cant do math so idk

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — i was :/

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — i dont like being perceived bt my twitter is @fauxcherub and my pinterest is @offbrandsodapop / big tid and im too lazy 2 link them so im sry bt also my rph is @svrgcnts​ n my theme is unfinished ignore it

DISCORD USER — sniff#3644 i think

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i like modern fantasy / urban fantasy just like. modern magic. modern. bt mostly fr books. fr like films n tv shows i dont know i binge watch gossip girl and eat several oranges

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — i ...... dont know .... pride n prejudice, austin powers, halloweentown n co’, the princess bride, the princess diaries or ella enchanted

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — i read the darkest minds when i was a freshmen in high school and it was the first book that ever made me cry and i think it unlocked the part of me that genuinely feels emotion because ever since i read it i cry multiple times a week to every single day at like. everything. so. its not even a revolutionary book i just really liked it

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — probably pride n prejudice i wont lie but also if something stars mike myers chances r that its on my mind

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — aquarius sun, aquarius moon, cancer rising

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — not 2 the point where i hate u if ur a gemini i just think its fun 2 b like ‘haha i do that’

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — facebook n club penguin

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — im a shell of a person.

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — harley n bodhi i love them and so do u harley is a pit mix maybe possibly idk? and bodhi’s a shiba and theyre opposites. harley is so nice. bodhi is an asshole. i love them so much

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i rly liked fleabag but schitt’s creek mostly. i also liked the politician but i want to punt ryan murphy so. i think the haunting of hill house is also a good show

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — i think im too predictable bt if anybody wants to tell me the answer to this please do

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god i think i was reading strange the dreamer by laini taylor or smth like that bt ya i was enjoying it even though i stopped halfway thru and havent picked it up in a year

CURRENTLY READING? — i cant read

LAST FILM? REC IT? — the joker and no.

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — practical magic bt i told myself i wouldnt watch it until i do my replies, perks of being a wallflower, n uuuhhh beautiful boy (thank u neen)

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — austin powers or halloweentown or shrek i wont lie its probably shrek yeah its shrek

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — the gc usually :/

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — lady lamb bt im mad at her bc she hasnt toured to florida and all i want is to see her live bt im really feeling bay faction lately bt also mcr bc im emo but im kind of a few songs frm every artist type of person n not like entire discographies except fr the bands ive just listed

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — house parties r cool bt i like 2 be. in bed most of the time

ANY PHOBIAS? — none tht i can recall atm bt i have a lot of anxieties in general :/

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — depends on the bug ...

BIRDS? — mostly no but ig it depends on the bird ... i like them frm afar bt their talons scare me

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — im v allergic to cats bt i want a cat so mf badly. but also ig im a dog person bc ive. always owned a dog

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — like. not being self aware. passive aggression. the rpc

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — this is a trick question

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — dev patel, avan jogia, natalia dyer, bill skarsgard, medalion rahimi, naomi scott, ella purnell, freya mavor, liana liberato, sky ferreira.

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — i dnt rly focus on the fcs of other muses so i dnt think i can answer this. austin butler.

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — mexican food i would eat it everyday if i could

WORST FOOD? — i think sushi is gross

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — not frequently. i like the bioshock like. series. universe. bt i like point n click adventures a lot ... deponia is my favorite game series theres like four of them n ive finished them in 8 consecutive hours each. i only use pc

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — im so sleepy

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — drama SJNKDFMG

[botanicalbarnes]

We Should Talk

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words:1720

Warnings: Overthinking, a bit of angst?, fluff!

Summary: Bucky tells Y/N that they need to talk. (I still suck at summaries) 

A/N: This is for @buckthegrump‘s writing challenge! It was really fun writing this and I hope you like it!

You stared down at the incoming texts worried and nervous. “Hey doll, we should talk. You have time to meet? Our spot at 6 tonight maybe?” you read aloud.

“Oh, what do you think it’s about?” Asked Nat who was sitting next to you on your bed.

“I don’t know! We should talk?! We’ve only been together for four months. What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he wants to break up with me?” You ranted on like that for a minute or two more and ended up face down on your bed mumbling inaudibly about how you don’t know what to text back.

“If you’re done, I just replied so you don’t have to. I know how you get.” You stare at her a bit scared of what she might have said. She stops blowing her nails dry and gives you a look. “What? I just said you’d meet him at ‘your spot’. And don’t look at me like that. I know you, and you would have sit there for an eternity thinking of something to say to such a simple text. It’s probably nothing. You may not notice how he looks at you but everyone else does. We have forever. I highly doubt he’s going to break up with you.”

“I don’t know Nat…I can’t help but worry and be paranoid. I guess that’s just who I am. I’ve let down so many walls with him that I never thought I would. He makes me really happy, and I’m not ready for that to be over.”

“And you never will be.”

“What do you mean?” You ask confused at her statement.

“Y/N, I know it hasn’t been that long since you’ve been together. But I see the way you are around him, and how he is with you. I’ve never seen you like this, and you’ve never been one to even entertain the idea of love and relationships. You make eachother better, and you know it. And you know what I think? No, what I pretty much know? You love him. Even if you havent realized it yet.”

You stayed silent at her statement. You sat speechless, not being able to deny it, nor validate it. “I-I’m not sure. I know that he makes me happy and I really really like him. But I don’t think I can actually say that I love him, not now. Not if theres a chance he’s going to break up with me.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait.” Nat said with a small smirk on her face. Even that worried you a bit.

***

You tried your hardest to push it from your mind. But all that got you was more overthinking and pacing once Natasha left your room a good hour later. You could swear that you were doing everything to not think about it. A hot bath, candles, tea, a nap, reading, running, you name it. But nothing seemed to work. Even in your sleep, anxiety crept into your dreams. Or whats worse, you couldn’t even get yourself to fall asleep and instead you lay in bed, thoughts running wild.

You don’t understand how you’d grown so attached so quickly. So dependent. You were brought up to always push your own feelings and interests out of the way and get things done. Taught that love was for children and that it would only make you weak.

Until you and Bucky started getting to know eachother, you believed that wholeheartedly. Even if you would have wanted something more than that, your past would have gotten in the way. Your mistakes and all you’d done would have come back to haunt and ruin any good thing you could find for yourself.

All until Bucky. Someone who didn’t care about any of it, because he was the same way. Only a bit worse. Together, you got yourselves through it. Past any skeletons in your closet or ghosts coming back to haunt you.

He made you forget. Forget all the bad things and memories, and make new good ones. Now, you didn’t want to lose that.

A small ‘Ping’ pulled you out of your mind. It was a message from Bucky. ‘Bring a coat, it might get chilly😘’. You smile at your phone and began typing a reply, when your eyes shifted to the time: 5:47. Great…now you only have twenty minutes to get ready and on the roof.

Quickly running into your bathroom, you managed to quickly fix your hair and makeup so you would look decent. Then rummaging through your closet, you pulled out your purple knitted sweater and tugged it on along with your jeans. After checking yourself in the mirror one last time, you grabbed your phone and walked out the door.

Approaching the door that led to the rooftop, you let out a breath and opened the door. Even now after all the times you’d been up here, the garden and lounge decorated with small soft lights still put you at ease and amazed you. Surprisingly, barely anyone came up here. That’s another reason you loved it. And the reason you and Bucky started getting close.

Long story short, you came up here to read and get your mind off things a lot. De-stress, if you will. One night, you came up with a book in hopes of calming down after another nightmare. Shortly after you settled in your usual spot, In came James Barnes. Clearly having the same plan. Both of you were surprised to see eachother, but sat together and talked until dawn when you began falling asleep. After that night, you met up here, for anything really. Sometimes, you’d even come up at insane hours of the night at the chance of seeing him here. This is where he asked you to be ‘his girl’ and where you shared your first kiss together. All your best memories were made on this rooftop.

As you made the turn towards the spot you normally sat at, you saw him looking over the edge of the building, left arm resting on the edge. He turned towards you and smiled brightly, which in turn, as it always does, made you smile just as bright. Getting up, he took your hand as soon as you were in front of him and brought it to his lips. You forgot every worry you had and let out a giggle at his actions that never failed to make you smile.

“So…you’re probably wondering why I asked you to meet me up here to talk. I ran into Nat earlier and she said you were nervous. But really, I need to talk to you, to tell you something important.” Suddenly your worries came back quickly and you were sure It showed on your face in an instant.

Before he could say anything else, you were already speaking. “What is it? Is it that you don’t want to be with me anymore? I mean I get it. I know I can be clingy one minute and cold and distant the next. And I know I come with a lot of baggage and issues. And with all you’ve been through I get why you wouldn’t want to deal with anyone else’s problems on top of all that. I get it, ya know? I want you to be happy and if you think this will help with that then-“

You were cut off by warm lips meeting yours harshly. After a few seconds, you parted and looked at him lacking the words on your tongue just moments ago.

“Just, Stop talking for a second! Why the hell would you ever think I wanted to break up with you?” He laughs. “And you didn’t even let me talk. Have you been thinking like this all day?” Now, you could hear the worry in his voice.

“Pretty much…” You reply honestly. No use hiding it now.

“Oh babe, I’m sorry I made you worry like this. I should have just told you to meet me.” All you could do was mumble out a “s’ok” while you waited for him to continue with blushing cheeks. “Now I kind of feel dumb for making this a whole thing but I feel like I have to.” Curiosity would make you explode if he continued on like this.

He turned away from you and took a few steps before turning back in place. “Y/N, ever since I met you, you make me feel…happy. Theres so many words I could use to describe how you’ve influenced me. I have been through so much shit and never did I think, I still don’t, that I’d be worthy of someone like you. You light up my day, you make me better, and you help me through all things that go right and wrong. After all I did as the Winter Soldier, after everything, I didn’t think I’d be capable of feeling the way I do. I didn’t think that anyone could ever bee with me and take me as I am. But here we are I guess. That’s why I’m making such a big deal of this. That’s why I need to tell you this, even though I know you probably don’t feel the same and it might be too soon. I love you, Y/N. Without a doubt in my mind. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

His words left you stunned and without even thinking, you said, just loud enough for him to hear, “I love you too, Bucky.”

He looked up from the floor into your eyes searching for any sign that you might be lying. “And I’m so glad you’re in my life.” All of a sudden and barely without warning, he was in front of you, hands on either side of your face, lips on yours. Your hands moved to hold his arms and one you leaned into him as he kissed you passionately and softly all at once. When you separated, all you could do was smile up at him and giggle like a schoolgirl.

“God, I Love you, I love you, I love you!” He repeated again and again placing kisses all over your face as his voice got louder and you laughed.

“I love you Buck, and don’t you ever forget it.”

Tags: @tessasangeltom 

[angrylizardjacket]

avoiding the winter sky

A/N: 1374 words. it’s me, back again with a All The Queen’s Men ‘verse mini fic that makes me feel that Riz Ahmed ‘im sad’ picture. anyways..... im sad.

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse Masterpost]

September, 1991.

“Mornin’ ‘Zelle.” Jim opens the door for her, giving her a smile and a hug in greeting, she’s got a stack of paperwork in one hand and tupperware contained full of cookies in the other, and she offered him one.

“Rog and Lilith made them yesterday, they’re good, though the kitchen may never recover.” The cookies are chocolate chip, and he takes one with a quiet laugh and thanks, leading her through the house to where she could hear the sizzle of something cooking, and Freddie humming cheerfully. “He sounds bright.”

“Yeah, he’s very cheery today; always looks forward to seeing you.” There’s a smile in Jim’s words that Gizelle can hear without even seeing his face, and when they enter the kitchen, Freddie’s positively beaming at them.

“I think we should go on vacation.” He says, in lieu of a greeting, sitting at the kitchen table chopping onions, his eyes watering just a little. Giselle laughs lightly, swanning over to him to press a kiss to his cheek and put her papers on the table.

“And what makes you say that?” She asks, and he resumes his work as she put her folder down on the table. It’s tradition, they have lunch together on Thursdays, Giselle brings some of her cases with her to look over, or sometimes they watch a movie or play board games, but usually they just end up talking, about everything and nothing, distracting themselves from how tired Freddie is, and the marks that keep appearing on his skin.

“I want to go somewhere warm, everything’s so dreary around here.” And he wasn’t wrong; even though it was only the start of Autumn, the sky was grey more often than it was blue nowadays. “I want an adventure, I miss our adventures.” Once he was finished with the onions, he passed them off to Jim, who was quietly cooking over by the stove, smiling to himself.

“We could go on a pub crawl; see all the bands London has to offer in one night like we used to.” Giselle offers, something in her chest tightening as Freddie’s expression brightens.

“Oh yes, I love a good chance to dress up in disguise.” His eyes shine with amusement at the idea, reminiscing fondly about their old haunt at the edge of town where they used to head when they wanted to remember their roots.

“I could wear a wig and put on a fake nose!” Giselle grinned, getting up and moving around the kitchen with practiced ease, pouring all three of them a glass of orange juice.

“So could I!” Freddie enthused, his smile only brightening as Jim chuckled.

“I think you should both invest in a bright pink bob, very subtle.” He added, thanking Giselle again as she pulled out three plates, smiling at his husband’s obvious delight at the suggestion.

“Oh, we should tour together again! A reunion tour, a new and beautifully bright wig every night!” And Freddie leaned back in his chair, watching with an endearing smile as two of his favourite people finished plating up lunch. The serenity only lasted a minute before he was overcome with a violent coughing fit, and Giselle was by his side as Jim fetched him a glass of water. “Perhaps a tour isn’t for me right now.” He mused, a small, self-deprecating smile on his face as he accepted the drink and hummed with contentment when Jim kissed the top of his head, before heading back to the kitchen.

“What if I go on tour, and you come along as my main backup dancer who sings when he’s not coughing his lungs up?” Giselle offered, and there was something grateful in Freddie’s gaze that she tried not to dwell on.

“And if I do start coughing my lungs up on stage?” He asks with a raised eyebrow, Giselle waves him off.

“It’s interpretive dance; kids these days love that sort of stuff.” She half laughed, and Freddie chuckled.

“Touring’s such hard work though, darling, I don’t want to be dragging dear Jim halfway across America.” He mused, gaze sliding to fix the man in question with a fond smile, which, when he looked up from pushing eggs onto the final plate, Jim returned in kind.

“You think you’ll be dragging me along? Dear, I’ll be right there beside you, whether you like it or not.” He informed them, matter-of-factly, bringing two plates over to the table, before getting the third, all three plates stacked with neatly arranged eggs, bacon, sausages, and cooked onions, along with a slice of toast.

“Well lucky for you, I love it.” Freddie grinned at him, tucking into brunch with Giselle and Jim on either side of him doing the same. “But it is work, touring, I don’t think I have it in me, can’t we just go somewhere nice and warm? I’d love to lie on the beach somewhere.” He mused, and Giselle grinned.

“And which beach would you prefer?” She asked, as if she were already making plans, taking a large bite of her egg on toast.

“Oh, you two pick, I could never decide, I’ve seen too many beautiful beaches to have a favourite.” Freddie grinned, and they sank into silence, all contemplative.

“I haven’t seen nearly as many beaches as you two have.” Jim said, quietly, though he didn’t seem unhappy about it, just thoughtful. Without hesitation, he reaches out, taking Jim’s hand across the table.

“Then we don’t have to pick, we’ll see them all.” Freddie announced firmly, giving Jim’s hand a squeeze.

“All of them?” Giselle asks, eyebrows raised, and Freddie turns back to her with a bright and toothy smile.

“All of best, all over the world; we’ll start with Australia, right after Christmas I’ll fly us there, a holiday present! We can bask in the sun while it’s snowing here in dreary England, how does that sound?” He’s lost in his own world, eyes glazed over as he sits on the edge of his seat, food all but forgotten in front of him; he can see the scene before him, can practically feel the sun on his skin.

“Sounds lovely, Freds.” Giselle said, quiet and kind. “I think we could all use a holiday from this city.” She agreed. “We could visit some friends, oh,” eyes lighting up, Giselle reached out to take Freddie’s other hand, “I know it’s not a beach, but Jim has to see Venice, we could visit in the middle months where no-where’s really right for beaches, we could visit Elton’s little place up there.”

“That does sound pretty nice.” Jim agreed. “I mean, a world tour without the actual tour bit? I think I could handle that; what do you think, Freddie?” And finally, hearing Jim’s voice, Freddie feels his fantasy slipping away, and all he can do is smile.

“Sounds perfectly wonderful, exactly what we need.” And there’s almost a dreamlike quality to his voice, which vanishes once he spots his food going cold before him. “We should eat up, I wouldn’t want to let your cooking go to waste.” And he smiles at Jim, taking back his hands from his companions to keep eating, but Giselle just smiles softly at him.

“I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth if you asked me to.” She tells him, surprisingly serious, and when Freddie looks at her, there’s something a little sad in his eyes as he gives her a fond smile.

“I know, Gizelle.” 

Neither one can bring themselves to say it, but they never get past the planning stages. Their time together over the following months is spent poring over travel magazines, Giselle fills a binder with tourist traps they’re determined to see, and picturesque sunset shots they’re determined to recapture, and she pretends it doesn’t hurt her heart when Freddie’s expression fall and he has to outright skip all the pages with actual booking information.

They plan and they fantasize about cocktails at sunset, and when Freddie’s gone, Gizelle puts the folder in the back of her closet, and can’t bring herself to open it again.

[pinetrest]

Oh, shit! Your Dad called the police on you? Do you mind sharing what exactly happened?

thats actually The Most traumatic event inmy entire life but ive already told it to everyone who would listen so why not share it here too lol.

basically, i have bpd and at that time i was going thru a breakup and was very manic and emotional and suicidal. so the night before i had taken like a bunch of pills (i used to do this thing where even tho i knew it most probably wouldn’t kill me there would still be a chance and thats the only way i’d calm down cause at those times i cant stand being alive but anyways thats too dark)

so i was still coming down from the pills. i was out of my damn mind. i sat there and painted allllll day long, like 7 hours long non stop, they said i was like a zombie. btw the painting i made that day is something so surreal and it honestly feels like something divine guided me while making it im not kidding i was in a trance and theres so many faces in it i dont remember painting at all but here it is -

its creepy as hell yall....

anyways back to the story!

so i wanted them to .. ok i wont share this but i wanted my mom to do smth for me like go to this one place but she didnt want to cause there was no point to go but i was like no please we have to its my only chance blabla and i started kinda threatening them id take my own life .. it was scary i mean i was out of control and i hate talking about this but its true and it happened and its embarrasing but i acted awful and i think i took a knife and said id stab myself in the chest shit was wack hxjdkd so OBVIOUSLY they were worried af but i knew i was exaggerating and wouldnt fucking do that. but my dad took his phone and i heard him say the cliche “hello 911 my daughter is out of control” and my mom was sort of blocking the way from him and i started screaming like WTF HES CALLING THE POLICE ON ME DONT DO THAT???? but she wouldnt budge the poor woman was so scared and i cant blame her :(

i immediately calmed down at this point and there was literally no use for the police to come but they were here 10 mins later and i was calmly explaining the situation and that im ok now but they were like “we dont rlly give a shit we’re takin u to talk to some .. professionals” 🙄 so they took me to some random ass psychiatrist (not my usual one that i love) in an AMBULANCE???

there that bitch ass hoe of a psychiatrist had all my previous paperwork from the two hospitalizations i had that year and allllll the suicide attempts and he was basically like “yea ur at a high risk u need to be behind bars” literally. they decided to throw me in the most infamous asylum of my country, infamous for being literally like a horror film. the things i saw there haunt me to this day. long story short we waited 30 mins for Another Ambulance and i was so mad that i leaped and i think i spat in that psychiatrist’s face and the police were still there so they put HANDCUFFS on me and i rode in silence with one of the officers in an ambulance with handcuffs on for like 40 minutes to the asylum and there the fun just started hhaaahaaa where they forced me to sign and i stayed for a week (when the minimum is usually 3 months but my grandma had actually worked there for like 6 years so everyone knew her and thank god with her and my mom’s help i was out only after a week but GOD do i tell u a week was more than a lifetime long in there and im not exaggerating) but thats a whole another story on its own

tldr im a crazy ass bitch ??? but also FUCK my dad

[missjackil]

You're going to NJCON soon right? IIRC you said before that if you can ask a question, you'll ask about what Lucifer's TRUE Face is? I would LOVE to find out! What - if anything- do you think it might be?

YUSSSS Nonnie 2 weeks from today and Im Freaking out!! I cant believe i am actually going to be in the same room as my boys, let alone be able to hug Jared! *faints*

Ok so Lucifer’s face eh? Well, Ill tell ya what Im sure it’s not... Im sure its not some scary monster face that has been haunting Sam and Rowena, i dont think it’s a metaphor or “code” for anything that was done TO them either, Sam is resilient, he bounces back in time from things done to him, but what he doesn’t recover from, are things he’s done to others.  So maybe Lucifer’s face comes into play this way.... there is an old spiritual belief that man can’t look at God and see his face because we would see a reflection of or own darkness/evil and it would destroy us. Maybe this is what Lucifer’s face does? When we have seen Sam losing sleep, we dont see him having night terrors, waking in a cold sweat, screaming, instead he lays there with a look of worry and dread. If seeing Lucifers face caused him to see his own darkness, the evil he COULD be, the evil he’s feared he could become, that would freak him out for sure. I dont think it was an accident that earlier in the season, he told Jack that he knows what its like to be scared of who you are and what you can do. 

But would this freak out Rowena too? Yes. We have seen over the seasons that shes softened up. She’s become helpful and even fond of the Winchesters. If she could see the evil she has done, or could do, she would very likely be terrified and work on making amends like she did when she came back. Realizing that she treated her son horribly then she worked very hard to help the boys bring Jack and Mary back. So, I think theres a good chance that this is what Lucifer’s true face is, and I hope they dont leave us dangling.

Great ask Nonnie!! Thanks!

Ask Miss Jacki Anything

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

My Design V

---

“INSIDE THE MIND OF A HUNTER-KILLER: A profile of the unprofilable. By Freddie Lounds

I met her at a coffee shop in a small town in Missouri. There were normal, every day people all around us going about their business. Ordering coffee. Wiping their children’s hands. Typing a novel that will never come to pass. All without knowing they were within killing distance of the most enigmatic murderess in the United States of America.

Her name is Joanna Beth Harvelle. She is a blonde, 5″4 and 117lbs. She grew up in a small town in Nebraska as an only child, her father passing away when she was a child and her mother both caring and over-protective. On paper, her last known location was at the University of Nebraska where she flunked out of her arts course within six months.

On very special paper, deep within the confines of the criminal behavioural profiling unit at the FBI, her last known location - at least according to her - was in Massachusetts where she left three bodies decapitated and the heads subsequently burnt. Such description is in her own words, and said with a smile…”

Will did not get the chance to continue the article as a meaty hand slammed the top of his laptop down. Following the arm up, he was unsurprised to find the enraged face of Jack Crawford staring back at him.

“How is it that Freddie Lounds can get a face to face with that monster, and you, my prize profiler, can’t even tell me where to start looking for her?” Jack practically growled the words out, snarl upon his lips more animal than human.

Will rolled back in his chair away from the desk, hands dropping to between his knees as he dropped his gaze. It was hard to be impassive when he had been interrupted from reading about her, reading someone else’s take on the woman that followed him everywhere in the last year. He had been able to distract Jack for months with other cases, other profiles, other murderers. He had been able to pretend that her words didn’t haunt his mind the same as Garrett Hobbs when walking through a scene beside the other man. He had been able to hide her from the other - all the bits of her that followed him around, that twisted him about, and seduced his very senses from him. He had even been able to conceal her from Jack’s spy in Hannibal. Of that, Will was exceptionally proud.

“Freddie Lounds is an easier person for someone to reach out to.” He found his voice falling into a soft contemplation, as if mulling the words over in his mind rather than having rehearsed them the moment he saw the interview go live. It was true though, Freddie Lounds would have been the easiest person for her to contact if she simply wanted to speak with someone. Easier than having made her way into Will’s home, easier than having followed Will to crime scenes, than having convinced him to appear and speak with her. Easier by far than infiltrating Quantico and entering his classroom. “And you know Freddie, she would have been gnawing at the bit to publicise something like this.”

“Ah yes, Freddie and her love for a good story.” Will barely batted an eye at the tone from the other man, as Jack seemed to talk himself out of the fury towards Will himself and redirected towards the writer of the article. It barely bothered Will as he stood to leave, headed for the lab for the most recent case, that he was able to manipulate the other man as efficiently as he did. “Any leads on the new case?”

“Not just yet.” His reply was left behind with the other man as Will left the room.

—

“ ‘She orders another round of drinks for us both, and leaves a 25% tip for the waitress who brings them over. “I used to work in hospitality,” She says, the affectionate smile on her face that of someone who knows the hatred of customer service, “I know how much that work sucks.” I find myself nodding in agreement at that idea. “ Brian recited across the labratory as the trio worked over the most recent body. “Sounds like a woman after my own heart…”

“A woman who will rip your heart out of your chest cavity, you mean.” Beverly responded, hand currently working to clean off a cut across the throat of their current case body. “Definitely someone you should try to meet, Brian.”

“She has a boyfriend, or a husband perhaps by now. Regardless, she wouldn’t be interested in you Brian.” The words announced his entrance into the workspace, Will barely surpressing the desire to turn around and leave at the three sets of eyes turning to look at him. Before Beverly could open her mouth to ask, he held up a hand and moved towards the group. “She’s not that hard to read into, and if you’ve ever seen her crime scene photos theres always some sentimental jewellery on. Joanna Harvelle isn’t on the market.”

“You sound a bit dejected there, Will. You been profiling her and got beat to the punch?” Jimmy’s quip cut through the slightly awkward silence that Will’s observations had brought up, and got a laugh from the other two investigators as he moved to sit down on the edge of one of the metal desks. “Freddie Lounds really is cold hearted to take that interview, and expose others to that psychopath.”

“Pretty sure she’s not counted as a psychopath, Jimmy, that bit about family clearly meaning that there is human connections in her life.” Beverly corrected, eyes focussed on determining the depth of the wound on their current victim.

The three men fell into a contemplative silence as two of them refocussed upon their tasks and the third thought over the other man’s words. It didn’t need much thinking though, Will knew that he was dejected at the idea his bloody angel wasn’t something he could attain. That she was only for looking, but not for touching. She reminded him of Alana in that way, however the restriction was much harder to follow through with as he thought over when he would next be free to dive into Freddie Lounds’ website.

As he removed debris from the fingertips, Jimmy broke the silence. “ “I wouldn’t call them murders,” the woman said, a hand rubbing at the back of her neck, “I would call it a civic duty. Perplexing as that may sound. I mean, I love Batman but he’s wrong - if you kill murderers, the number of killers does change with enough gone”. The fact a lot of those victims of hers are unidentifiable… Makes you wonder who they are, doesn’t it?”

“Makes you wonder that a murderer is quoting a comic book like it validates her actions.” Beverly shot back, brow raised before asking, “Is there any perp tissue under those nails?”

“Nah, this is just dirt-gunk from the look of it.” The other replied, wiping the contents into a tube before starting on the next nail. “Batman is an interesting choice to pick though - a murderer quoting the hero who refuses to kill.”

“She doesn’t quote him because they are different, she quotes him because they are the same. She sees herself ridding her world, or rather her country, of those that intend to hurt it.” Will finds himself speaking aloud as much as speaking to himself. His eyes glaze as the pendulumn wipes for him, unaware of the pause of the other three in their work. He rarely empathised in front of others, and the trio had not seen him ever perform the task in front of them or about something other than crime scenes. “Jo is a fighter, she’s a vigilante driven to save those both knowing and unknowing of her work to do so. Like Batman. And like him, she has a secret identity, a secret life, a normal life…”

His voice trailed off, eyes raised to look across the labratory as he saw her approaching him this time - her coming to him, rather than him always chasing her - bare feet padding across the cold concrete of the floor. Her hair was mussed, pulled back into a pony tail but tendrils draping around her face which smiled warmly at him. She was dressed to sleep, he knew that, somehow, from the white man’s shirt that swallowed her frame and the bare legs that showed beneath it. His bloody angel left a trail of bloody footprints behind her as she moved her way to him.

She was in the midst of another of her killing sprees - on a hunt - and met Lounds just that morning. She had spoken with the redhead at length, laughed at the right times and made the right jokes to come off as approachable, and shared her psyche for the world in a way she would refuse to with anyone of a psychiatric profession. His lure shone brightly under the other woman’s light, and she had read the early edition of the story that night before she planned to sleep. She knew it would reach the person it was intended for, she knew he would see her. That through Freddie Lounds, she would be able to reach out and touch him after going silent from his waking life for three months.

The thought reached him as she did, hand outstretched to his cheek, and as Will leant into it the vision disappeared - the trio of investigators staring at him from over the body of their current case - he wished that it had been real.

---

The clock read 2:37 in the dark room when he woke with a start. There was the sweat that his nightmares always brought, but it was cold on his skin as the breeze blew through the room.

His family were still at rest, not disturbed by the disturbance that had woke him, and he could see them laying sleeping, dozing or relaxing before the fireplace. They were not what had woken him.

As he turned to the other side, the disturbance became clear - hair glowing white in the pale illumination of the room from his laptop, doe eyes staring back at him. The screen lighting her face still showed the article that had summarised her in all ways but the truth. He had poured over it all day, and fell alseep to the warm glow of it - before the truth he had been searching for it in had woken him to the reality again.

“Hi again.” Her voice cut through the quiet night noises, one hand tucked under her head as she looked back at him. It had been her arrival, her presence in his bed, that had woken him from slumber but it was her voice that woke him from his dreams. “How did you like my interview?”

“Freddie Lounds is a hack.” Will thought his voice sounded rough to his ear, crackled from sleep but harsh in intent as well. “She wrote you all wrong. Too sweet, too friendly, too normal.”

“Am I not sweet, or friendly, or normal, Will?” It was the question for the ages, and he rotated to lie facing her. Seeing her like this was almost like a dream, like he would wake up drenched in real sweat this time, longing for it to have been real. 

He shook his head at her question, mimicking her position as he whispered back, “You are, but not like she protrayed you. Her words were fake, making it out that you are not how you are. She didn’t want you to be dangerous, so she removed the danger from you.” His fingers twitched to reach out for her, fearing the moment they touched that she would disappear in smoke or blood like his nightmares. “Freddie Lounds was afraid of the real you, so pretended that it wasn’t there.”

“And are you afraid of me? I’ve told you who I am, what I do, why I do it...” Jo’s eyes blazed back at him, dark as the dark night around them, as she raised a pale brow back at him. “You’ve seen me as I am. But are you afraid?”

“You are not a monster...”

His words got one of those bourbon rich laughs from her, the scent of vanilla, metal and chocolate wafting over him as she rolled onto her back laughing. The smell clogged his senses, reminding him of the first time he found her in his home, on the very same bed. And that had been real. His dreams never quite managed to include the essential scent of her, and he found himself moving towards it, drowning in the intoxicating safety and danger that rolled off of her. 

“But you are mean...” Will found the words coming to his head as he caught sight of the laptop screen, her words written in pixels staring back at him, over the top of her profile. “That article was mean. You did it to poke Jack and the bureau - that you could speak to them but they couldn’t reach you.”

“I must be pickin’ up some bad habits from some friends of mine then.” Jo’s voice softened, the humor still evident as she glanced to him out of the corner of her eye. “But really I was meanin’ it for you. To remind you of what we discussed.”

“Those friends of yours who aren’t real - aren’t human - and those that you claim aren’t people at all that you kill.” He raised himself up on one elbow, eyes flickering between her face half in darkness and half in light - so like her being - and the screen. ‘ “People are afraid of what they don’t know. Of what they can’t explain. I live without that fear cause I know what’s really out ther” ‘ is in bold on the screen, highlighted by his mouse as he had drifted off.

The woman rolled to her side again to face him, those eyes beaming up at him as if they were staring straight into his soul and trying to split him apart. “You still don’t believe me, do you?” He wishes she had never said the words, squeezing his eyes shut at the hurt tone and the ache it stabbed into his chest. She believed him about Hannibal, and Abigail, and everything, but he couldn’t believe her about her world. His mind was cruel to dream this up tonight of all nights.

As he felt the bed dip slightly, as if she was moving to stand up, he found himself reaching out. Grasping. Tugging and pinning. His palms pressing her shoulders back into the bed as he hovered above her. Blonde hair spread across the spare pillow, spilling about her as she blinked up at him - the fear and uncertainty in other’s eyes when they looked at him missing. He could feel the cold breeze on his back again, where his shirt stuck to his skin, like icy knives but that melted as Will leant down to press against her and her lips.

There was a gasp, whether his or hers he couldn’t say, and then hands pushing to move him back, confusion on her face to match his that she was solid and didn’t disappear. That the smell of chocolate and vanilla and danger was still flooding his senses. “Will, what-”

He cut her off again, tugging at her, probing at her lips with his tongue and a hand sliding into the golden tendrils around her. She wasn’t disappearing like the figment in the lab. She wasn’t taunting him with bloody hands like the nightmares he would wake screaming from. She wasn’t even pulling away from him like Alanna had. She was pliable and warm and leaning back up into him like a vine into sunlight. 

“Shh, let me keep dreaming. Don’t let me wake up...”

He couldn’t let her ask her questions, break the foggy dream he was finding himself in with the reality that this wasn’t allowed. That he wouldn’t trust her like she trusted him, that he couldn’t do this, that she couldn’t be this for him. That they couldn’t be anything outside his dreams. He couldn’t wake up from the dream and have nothing to grasp onto again. 

All he could do was sink into her lips, her arms, her scent and pray that he wouldn’t wake up this time.

---

The alarm clock was screeching when he rolled over, the sounds of grunting and yips from his family at the disruption making him roll over to turn it off. The clock said 6:25.

Will blinked his eyes open blearily, sleep crust caught and rubbing at his eyes as he slumped back against his pillow thinking of the dream from the night before.

Normally his dreams were not so grounded - there had been no oninous stag-man outside the window, no twisted lighting, no blood seeping from behind her hands - yet so far out of the realm of reality for him. He was always driven to the line of insanity by the plague of dreams he had, but that one had thrown him far over the cliff and into the oblivion of madness chasing after her. 

Like he would if she was really in his grasp again, he thought. Will rubbed a hand across his face, before he rolled onto his otherside towards where she had laid in his dreams. Towards the laptop screen still angled straight at him.

His hand drifted across to where she had been, before pulling back like an electric shock at the warmth still on the side of the bed. Frowning, Will shifted over before being assualted by the scent of danger and safety, chocolate, vanilla and metal rust, as he sat upright swallowing down the lump in his throat at the reminder.

Will leant down to the pillow, finding several long, blonde hairs upon the pillow case before his eyes drew up to the computer screen.

Highlighted by the mouse, disjointed across the article but all able to be seen in order, were the words - “don’t” “Trust” “me” “we” “Can’t” “do this”.

[stories-about-cheating-women]

It started when I was 17, I previously had no sexual experiences. I had kissed girls but really lacked female interaction but was desperate for it. So when I met a girl who was attractive, who actually liked me. It was really mind blowing and I dont know why. But she was one of the very few attractive women who found me attractive. She ended up latching on to me. The kind of girl who wears thongs, yoga pants and has a nice ass. Just

amazing and was so lucky to have found her. By chance. We started officially dating a month into seeing eachother. She told me this story once when she was a bit drunk about how she was giving a blowjob and how he "Came within like 20 seconds because he didnt get off for days and I ended up choking on it and I coughed it all out and made a huge mess"

This really felt like I got hit in the gut, while I knew she had dated before just hearing that was hard. Mostly because she didnt give me head for the first couple months so I assumed when she did it, it was her first time. While she was good at it, I assumed "Natural ability" but I was wrong. Because I never had much expirences with women and it felt like she was all I had and it just hurt that another guy had this experience with her. It also took me a while to cum from a blowjob, probably cause I was a chronic fapper and never came much. (But at the time never realized this)

But all I knew was this guy was insanely sensitive and must have felt everything inside her mouth and to just explode like that, he had a more intense experience with her then I did cause she was always unimpressed with how little I came. I tried to save up for a few days but then she just wouldnt give me head, she only did it once in a while.

Anyway she talked about this "Friend" a few times we will call him mike. "You should meet my friend he LOVES the same music you do, you guys would get along so well" and I didnt think anything of it. She has guy friends, whatever. Now I feel this is important to note. She lived in another area of the city then I did. She went to school by her house. Of course her friends live close by too. So we were out after going to her house and we went out and shes like "Lets go see if my friend mike is home" And on the way there she said "Aww.." I asked

"What?" she said "Nothing" I kept asking and she said "No you will be mad" I told her I wouldnt be and I just want to know. Then she just said flat out "This is the guy who gave me a mouthful of cum" hearing that, I was devastated. Felt like I got a big hit right in the gut. Because I

assumed she did that with an guy she was dating. But no, it was "Just a friend!" and one she never dated and was still friends with!? It destroyed me mentally, I felt like crying. Also I seen this guys Facebook and he was obviously very good looking but even more maddening, he had like 20 different selfies with girls. So it felt like why did he have to mess with my future girl??? Just disturbing. I felt like I might fight this guy, and get my ass kicked. Just cause I was so upset and pissed that they did this. Thankfully he was never home when we went.

A few months later snooping in her facebook messages when she left it open. I went to the messages between her and mike. While yes, it did seem it was before we were dating. It angered me how easy it was for him, they barely talked on facebook and he just said "Hey you should come over" and she would reply "Of course :)" and she would go over and suck his dick. While I had to wait months. It just utterly, destroyed my selfesteem and was truamatizing to know. Especially cause they go to the same school, so they talk in the hallways and it angered me knowing they still talk after he gave her a mouthful of cum. Theres no way he doesnt get reminded of that every time he sees her.

Anyway, as the months went by I was haunted by it. It was a strain on my mental health, but I began to find it erotic. Whenever she would give me head I would just think about them, knowing he got to expirence this with her WITHOUT having to commit to a relationship, just total freebee blowjobs from this beautiful girl, who was only one out of many of his friends. I found it hot and couldnt stop thinking about it, hoping she did it more

then once I eventually asked her how many times they did stuff and she said "I dont know, about 5, but we never had sex" This made it more hot so he didnt have sex with her or please her and she would just give him blowjobs like no big deal.

I couldnt stop thinking about it and became obsessed with their previous encounters. Now a year into our relationship, we moved in together. Our sex life got a lot more vanilla, well it already was before. But those once in a while blowjobs she used to give me? She stopped doing that and would only have sex once like once a week. Sleeping with her this was frustrating. I often had to jerk off before bed or I would end up

waking her up by thrusting her ass and she would get mad and it would lead to an argument. She just didnt seem to have a high sex drive at least not for me. But she always wore yoga pants, a thong and cleavage showing shirts and this was just frustrating.

I was a bit snoopy as I always sort of been. I checked her texts once in a while when she was in the shower or whatever. She usually didnt just leave it laying around. but would do a poor job of putting it in a spot she wouldnt think Id look. Or when she was sleeping. I did this and found nothing exciting. But one day when she was in the shower I grabbed her phone and I checked her texts and she was texting mike. The conversation went like "Its been so long, I miss you friend :). His reply, "I miss you too, we need to talk more and chill haha" Her reply "Absolutely, we so need to chill"

Reading this I got an adreniline rush. It was so hot that she was talking to him like this, the smileys and I miss you. Talking about "Chilling" again. I found it so fucking hot while my first reaction was to confront her, I just couldnt. I just wanted this to happen. A few weeks later looked in her phone again when sleeping. Nothing was new, she stopped replying to his messages so seems like she didnt plan on going through with it, was disappointed but she was at least considering it at first. So I knew there was a chance... She just needs a little push.

I managed to get access to her facebook cause I found a little book with her password in it (Dumb idea to write it down) so now I had all my tabs on her that if something happens. I WILL find out, and ill love it. As the months went by, nothing was happening a few other guys messaged her but she didnt reply much. Seemed like she wasnt a cheater. I became frustrated, I wanted her to cheat on me especially with her old time Friend with benefits Mike. I wanted them to hangout again, behind my back. Where she ends up sucking his cock again like old times. I wanted this to happen so bad. I decided I must do something to give her a little push... Without her knowing of course.

I decided, to stop initiating sex with her. I feel me wanting sex so often, made her feel attractive a worthy. So I stopped initiating sex with her I just jerked off in the bathroom before going to bed every night, and cuddled her to sleep without thrusting or being sexual towards her. I needed her to know I still loved her. So I remained charming and nice, rubbed her back to sleep which she always loved. But I stopped initiating sex completely... That once a week when she did want sex, I made excuses and didnt have sex with her. She would be turned off instantly when I mentioned

"I have a headache" Because her thinking I didnt want sex was a real mind boggler and it certainly got her thinking and wondering why. Possibly even questioning her attractivity (She was absolutely beautiful and I mean it) My plan was that her resistance to other men would diminish and eventually she would be getting fucked by another man. While remaining in a relationship with me.

Checking her facebook messages almost everyday for months. And to my surprise... Nothing. She wasnt really messaging guys back. It was disappointing and frustrating. Decided to just keep doing what I am doing. About 4 months into this I lost some hope and stopped checking her messages so often. Until one day. She put a really good looking selfie on facebook. Showing off her ass in the mirror. One guy commented "You look amazing" and he messaged

her. But unlike usual this conversation did not die. She kept replying and chatting with him. Until she said "Text me anytime". I checked her phone later when she was sleeping. This was always a sketchy operation. She would sleep beside her phone and I would have to very slowly take it from her. And no shes not a heavy sleeper. I read their texts for the day and he asked her "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" She said "Sure" but actually gave him a date right there "This Friday at 6 PM, you pick the place :)" So they agreed.

By this point I was insanely turned on and very excited knowing my GF has a secret date in a few days. I couldnt wait, picturing her getting fucked after a date was just too much and way too hot for something like logic to stop this.

[mumofadaofficial-blog]

Welcome to the World

I decided it was probably right to take you back to the start of this journey and maybe help you to understand what we have been through. Its probably gonna be a long, emotional one but its important. 

The 14th July will forever be a special day to me, Ada’s Birthday, and what a day that turned out to be! Ten days overdue we eventually welcomed our special little girl into the world and wow did she make sure she did it in full dramatic style!

I was called in on Friday 13th to be induced (should of known there and then!). I was put into my little bay in my bed, Shortly after I was examined and given a pessary…ladies you will know what that means 😳 very pleasant! I was then popped onto a monitor for half an hour and all was normal. Eventually it got late so Nath went home, there wasn’t much point in him staying, although I was petrified I would go into labour and he wouldn’t wake up to my phone calls and miss the whole thing! I settled down for the night but didn’t get much sleep.The following morning my hero (Nath) bought me a McDonalds breakfast in bed and all was right in the world, monitor readings were fine and the waiting game began. 

Then it started! Short, sharp pains, lasting about 30 seconds every 3 minutes or so. Now I have a high pain threshold but this was next level, I was convinced that something was wrong and was overdue my CTG reading so went to see my midwife. I was offered paracetamol, advised to go for a walk or have a bath. At that stage I asked to be put back onto the monitor as I was overdue to be. We then started to see that something was going wrong, the heart rate had dropped and was struggling to recover to a normal reassuring rate. Immediately I wanted that baby out and asked for a c-section! Unfortunately, it took two more heart rate drops and over an hour before that decision was granted - along with trying to be convinced that I should have my waters broke and try for a natural birth! I mean, I’m not doctor but realistically what chance did I stand of that happening and everything being ok. 

The whole time that this is happening and theres a million different members of staff flying in and out of the room and discussing whats going on with my baby I was still in the induction suite. I remember being very aware of the fact that there was three other woman in that room waiting to have their babies, all being able to hear the nightmare we were having. I can get over the fact of having no privacy, after three sweeps and god knows how many examinations my dignity was at an all time low anyway. But I remember afterwards thinking how petrifying it must of been for those other woman to hear what was happening whilst waiting to go through the stressful time that is labour themselves. 

Eventually I was moved into another room, the doctor was till trying to convince me to have my waters broke rather than a section and said they would give me 30 minutes to think about it, at the time I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that - now I realise a bloody lot can happen in 30 minutes with an unborn baby and what the hell were they thinking?! I rang my mum, as you do, for advice. She said what I thought and that I should have a section straight away - I remember feeling absolutely helpless. Putting your life and your unborn babies life in the hands of a complete stranger that is telling you everything you don’t want to hear. Whilst on the phone, the heart rate went again and she made the decision for us. 

Within minutes I was in the delivery suite I was told to sit on the operating table and bend over and hug a pillow, they then injected me in my spine and made me lay down straight away. The anaesthetist told me to lift my legs towards the ceiling and I couldn’t…strangest feeling in the world! Your mind is telling your legs so hard to work and they just won’t…desired effect had obviously happened! I don’t think I have ever felt so petrified as to what was about to happen, with Nath at my side in his scrubs we were ready for it. 

From 15 minutes to entering the room Ada was born! We heard two small cries and then the worst silence, I knew there was something wrong but couldn’t move to see what was happening. At this point I had never seen my child, didn’t know if we had a son or a daughter or what state the baby was in. Just that there was a shit ton of people surrounding our baby and Nathan was really badly trying to reassure me that everything was ok. I just remember crying and wishing I could do anything to be able to get off that table and do something. 

Our midwife came over shortly and informed us that ‘she’ was doing ok but was very poorly. SHE?! We’d had a little girl which was such a massive shock, myself and the majority of other people were convinced we were having a boy. She explained that Ada had inhaled her poo and that they were going to have to take her to the NICU straight away. With that she was gone, I’d seen a brief glimpse of masses of jet black hair as they pushed her past me and a photo they had allowed Nathan to take on his phone. I didn’t get to hold her, touch her, kiss her, just a quick glimpse as she left the room. 

We were then moved into a side room whilst they sorted me out and stabilised Ada, my mum joined us at the hospital and then we had to wait. Id like to say it felt like hours, but it actually was hours. Various people came in and out and its all a bit of a blur I think because of shock at that time, we were told she had meconium aspiration syndrome and was very very poorly. 

I was told I could go and see her once I could feel my legs, I definitely couldn’t feel my legs but lied and said I could. Around 3 hours after Ada was born I was helped into a wheelchair by a lovely health assistant, Nathan and my mum and taken down to NICU to meet my daughter for the first time. It’s not even far from the delivery suite but it felt like the longest trip down the corridor to meet her and I have never felt so sick. And there she was, laying there with a group of people working away, tube down her throat and wires all over her, but it was her and she was perfect. It’s very hard to explain the emotions that go through your mind at a time like that. But I can remember the overwhelming feeling of love, like I had never known before. And then fear, fear of what was going to happen to her, what was it they were actually doing to her? All these different drugs being pumped into her and people trying to tell you what is going on but not being able to process anything because all I could do was look at her. I was taken back to my bed and we were told that she was going to be transferred to Norwich as they had better equipment. Before she was able to be transferred they had to stabilised her, it must of been around 5 hours before she was ready to go. Unfortunately due to just having major surgery myself I was unable to travel with Ada, if anything happened to me they would leave me in order to save Adas life. I was to travel behind in a blue light ambulance so if anything went wrong I would be able to be reunited with Ada as soon as possible. So the responsibility fell down to Nathan, I have never felt so guilty knowing that he was going to have to do that journey by himself, not knowing the fate of Ada. Nath being Nath took it in his stride, had a fag and a brew and got himself ready to go. 

I was taken down to NICU to say goodbye to her before her journey to Norwich and it wasn’t until that point that I realised just how bad things were. There was an amazing team of people called ANTS who were getting her ready and about to transfer her into what I can only describe as some sort of baby spaceship for the ambulance, Drugs and wires rigged up everywhere! Some people may think that the woman was too harsh and blunt but she was probably the most honest person I had spoken to up until that point. She crouched down on the floor in front of me and told me that “I needed to prepare myself” I was taken a back, she then said something that will ring through my ears and haunt me most probably for the rest of my life “Your baby might not make this journey Amy”. It literally felt like my stomach had dropped out on the floor beneath me. I could see that it had cut threw Nathan and then I looked at my mum who was clearly trying so hard to be positive but it had got her too. I gave Ada a kiss, left the room and went back to wait for my ambulance feeling numb. Then I cried like I have never cried before in my life. In a way that I didn’t even know it was possible. 

I remember apologising over and over again to my mum, in my mind at that time I had given her a granddaughter that I was convinced was going to die and I just blamed myself. Nathan came in to say goodbye before leaving and I was still trying to be brave, telling him that whatever happened it was not his fault and that he didn’t have to worry, we could get through it together. 

Minutes after he had left somebody came in to inform me that I couldn’t have an ambulance as the ambulance service did not think that I needed one. Due to the fact that I wasn’t critical myself, even though I had just had major surgery, I could have one but it could take up to 4 hours to provide it. It even says in my notes that we received afterwards ‘that they appreciate my child might die before it reaches Norwich but there is nothing they can do’. Well we didn’t have 4 hours to wait so I left the hospital and travelled to Norwich in my mums car, around 5 hours after a c section! Its alarming to me now that there was no advice given to my mum as to what she should do if something went wrong with me, we just left. During this Nathan had text me to see if we had set off, presuming I was going to be in an ambulance, you can imagine his shock when I text him back saying that I was going in my mums car, he’s since told me he’s never been so worried that he was going to end up without both of us. 

By the time of me leaving, Nathans mum and dad had travelled down from up north and picked my dad up to meet us at the hospital, we then all travelled over to Norwich and met Nathan at the entrance. Ada was already inside and the incredible NICU team were working their magic on her. 

I still haven’t and very much need to thank the team at Norwich for the miracles they worked on Ada. When we entered the unit everyone was so calm even though they were dealing with one of the most stressful situations ever. They all welcomed me in as ‘Mum’ the first time I had been called that in my life! I could of spoken to a million people that night and I would never ever be able to tell you who they were or what they said to me, there is only certain parts that stick out in my memory. Our parents were allowed in with us for support and to meet Ada, a really happy yet sad moment to introduce your parents to their grandchild in that circumstance. 

I think around 5am me and Nathan went to bed, we were then woken up around 6am as we were needed for a meeting on the NICU unit with Adas consultant. Instantly my heart sank as I was prepared for the worst news. We went in for the meeting and I can still hear the woman asking me how I felt and all I could respond with was “pretty shit” She told me that was probably the most honest thing that anyone would say to her all day. She then went on to tell us that they had done everything they could with Ada, tried every treatment and thrown the kitchen sink at her but she wasn’t responding to it and making no improvement. Our last option was that they would try to find her a bed wherever one was available in the UK to give her a treatment called ECMO. At the time I never looked at what it was just agreed that we would try anything possible, I’ve since found out that they fit an artificial heart and lung, entering through the neck to try and give hers a rest and let it recover! It really is amazing what they can do.

They found her a bed at Birmingham children’s hospital and made plans for her to be transported, this consisted of an ambulance coming up from Great Ormond Street Hospital and then travelling through to Birmingham. Again, Nathan would have to travel with Ada and I would have to go separately with my mum and dad. When the ambulance arrived they started to prep Ada for the journey but realised that something was wrong with the ambulance so they wouldn’t be able to transport her in that one, they called for another to be sent. In that 2 hour delay something happened and Ada started to respond to her treatment, maybe she just didn’t fancy Birmingham?! The odds were completely stacked against her but she did it! 

From then on she improved daily, all those silly things that people take for granted we were longing to happen. Just to be able to celebrate with people that our baby was here without it being tinged with sadness. By day 4 they had decreased her sedation, changed her oxygen and we saw her open her eyes for the first time. Day 5 she was moving her arms and legs, and after a long wait we got to hold her for the first time - five whole days we waited to hold her in our arms! Ok, so it wasn’t how I wanted it to be but I realise now that waiting that time made it all the more special - I got my moment. We heard her cry! That sounds so simple but if it hasn’t happened you just want and want to hear it (I wish she did it less now!). By day 8 I could start feeding her myself, something that was really important to me as I wanted that bond. Nathan also decided on day 8 to propose to me! I think he was trying to write me off with emotions and see how much I could take 😂 Day 13 we were able to give her a bath ourselves and by Day 15 we were bringing her home to King’s Lynn. Bittersweet for me considering the start we had there but at least we were closer to family and friends. 

After 25 days in hospital we were able to take Ada home, on oxygen, but we didn’t care as long as she was home. To get her home and shut the door was incredible, no machines bleeping, no nurses, just us as a family. 

On the 27th August we got the go ahead from the hospital that her readings had come back fine and after a stressful few weeks we were able to turn her oxygen off, she’s still going now so it must of been the right decision! 

Its been in no way easy but its been so worth all the hard times and tears. We went to hospital as a couple and left as a family, a little later than we hoped for but we got there eventually. 

I am so grateful that Nathan is the person that he is. Not many men would stay in hospital for that long and he was the thing that got me through everyday. He was always positive when I didn’t know how to be, and I will love him always for what he has given me.  

I’m thankful to both of sets of our parents for being there for us, to my mum for travelling to Norwich almost everyday - knowing that someone is coming to see you at 3pm everyday really makes a difference. And to our family and friends for the visits, messages, well wishes, cards and how they continue to shower Ada with the love. 

No matter how much stuff you buy or how many people give you advice, nothing can prepared you for the whirlwind that a tiny human brings. But love or learn from every minute of it and always remember how important it is to support each other through the good or bad. 

Amy x