Tumgik
#and every time there's and underlying 'i put all my hopes and dreams on you and you've disappointed us' in their tone
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Thinking about…
Alastor and Bill Cipher after the same s/o (headcannons)
Hazbin Masterlist // Disney Masterlist // Navigation
Warnings: Obsessive behavior! Alastor being sadistic, Bill being a bit weird because duh, wrote this with Human form Bill Cipher in mind, mentions of death
A/N: I really like this dynamic, even though it’s kind of crazy and a lose lose situation for the reader, but it’s still interesting to write about. I hope you all enjoy!!
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Alastor
• Alastor isn’t just charming; he’s obsessed with making you see him as the ultimate catch. He meticulously plans every interaction, ensuring that you are always impressed and feel valued. Every compliment and gesture is calculated to win your heart.
“Why there’s that smile I love to see my dear! Ever the beauty!”
Alastor can’t stand the thought of you being attracted to anyone else, especially Bill. He tries to mask his jealousy with his usual grace and horribly timed jokes, but it’s evident in the subtle digs he takes at Bill whenever you mention him.
When Alastor is alone with you he’s not above grand, romantic gestures. Picture him serenading you with an old-fashioned love song or setting up a beautiful, intimate dinner where he pours out his feelings and tries to convince you that he’s the best choice for a partner and way better than bill in all aspects of the word.
Alastor’s affection for you is deeply strategic. He genuinely cares, but he’s also careful in how he shows it. He’ll often try to subtly make you see how a relationship with him would be beneficial, not just for personal pleasure but for gaining power and influence. He’s a very strong man and his image is important, what’s not to want about him?
“Don’t you love this view dear? We could be here all the time, if you wished.”
Alastor envisions a future where you are by his side, helping him dominate Hell. His feelings are not just about the present but about creating a powerful, enduring relationship. He dreams of ruling Hell together, and he’s willing to go to great lengths to make that vision a reality.
But not all things with Alastor are good, you know how much he HATESSSS modern technology and well, it’s how the world runs now. this is something Bill definitely used against him
“Don’t get intimated by a big screen deer man!”
Though he hates how Bills joke makes you laugh, his smile tightens nonetheless
Alastor will often put doubts into your mind about Bill. He is partially right, so it does make you wonder…
“What if he were to suddenly get tired of you? My dear, he’s traveled galaxies and destroyed universes. You wouldn’t want to be subject to that would you?”
or maybe something like,
“That little shape is no better than a toddler. He can’t even take proper care of his toys, breaking them when he gets bored. How pitiful.”
Bill Cipher
Bill is intensely infatuated with you. His feelings might come across as chaotic and erratic, per usual, but underneath, he’s deeply drawn to your spirit and individuality. He finds your uniqueness thrilling and wants to be the one to make your life as unpredictable and exciting as possible.
“ Wanna see this guy dance with his eyes hanging out of his sockets? Gotta tell ya’ you’ll never see anything like it ever!”
Bill’s way of showing affection is through wild and flirtatious chaos. He might sweep you into a whirlwind of bizarre, fantastical experiences, always with an underlying flirtation that makes it clear he’s very interested in you.
Bill knows how to push Alastor’s buttons. He often uses his chaotic antics to draw your attention away from Alastor, playfully teasing him and making a show of his own appeal. For Bill, it’s not just about romance; it’s about proving he’s the more exciting option, you’ll never be bored of him!
Despite his chaotic nature, Bill genuinely wants a deep connection with you, even if he does have a weird way of being about it. He’s drawn to your complexity and wants to show you that his brand of chaos can be both thrilling and deeply meaningful. He might surprise you with moments of surprising sincerity.
Bill is not afraid to take big risks to win you over. He’s willing to gamble with the very fabric of reality just to create memorable moments. His love is unpredictable and intense, and he hopes you will find that thrilling rather than overwhelming.
Bill is the type of guy to take you to a different reality for a date, wanna go watch marshans fight? no problem! upset about something? let’s go to this dimension where you can blow anything up!
He’s definitely got jokes though, and he’s good at them too
“Hey furry, why don’t you cut that loose part of your hair? OH wait, it’s your EARS!”
Bill is no fool though, he sees EVERYTHING, so it’s really difficult to hide things from him, which means being with him also means you losing your privacy.
“He’s a sociopath dove, you can’t really believe that radio freak actually likes you right?”
He isn’t wrong, Alastor has proven multiple times he keeps people around because he needs them for something, and Bill loves this
“What if you don’t satisfy him? What if he decides you’re not worth being with?”
or maybe he’ll say
“ You never know dove, what if he’s just after your soul? Maybe he likes the fact you put up a good fight, eh?”
Both demons have their crazies to them. Picking Alastor means Bill might destroy your dimension and maybe rearrange his molecules. But picking Bill means watching Alastor rip hell to shreds at your expense, hurting anyone and everyone to get you, maybe even threatening whoever you love.
Dating Alastor means you can kind of live a normal-ish life
Dating Bill means you keep your dimension
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devil-spire · 1 month
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Castle of glass.
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Summary: diaboys reacting to you fainting on them. Headcanons.
Characters: Kou Mukami, Subaru Sakamaki, Azusa Mukami, gn! reader.
Tags/warnings: fainting, blood sucking, mentions of blood and knifes, a usual day in dialovers.
Something with my three fav boys... I might write more if you guys like it ♡
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❀ Kou Mukami.
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- At first he’d tease you, say something like “eeh my M-neko-chan has finally fallen for me I see!”
- That is until he notices how the vitality seems to drain from your expression. Your eyes seem glazed over, your body is limp, not in the way it is when you and him share sweet dreams in the comfort of his room. 
- No reaction follows his usual teasing either, not your cute pouts or bashful glances when he managed to fluster you.
- There is clearly something wrong with you.
- And for an instant, he doesn’t know what to do.
- He stays there, kneeling besides your still body, his smile wiped from his face for once.
- He is very worried and low key panics for a second. There is so much he wanted to still show you, so many gifts he wants to still get for you, what if…
- No, he cannot let thoughts such as this to cloud his better judgement.
- Probably tries to ask his siblings for help (thankfully he doesn't take Azusa’s suggestion to stab you to see if you’ll react).
- With all the ruckus around you, your eyes begin to stir. Your sight is still unfocused, and yet those eyes of his his, like the bluest sky, somehow give you the strength to fight the dizziness away.
- “Kou-kun…” he hears the weak call of his name, and within seconds he is pulling you close to his chest, his forehead against yours to make sure you are here with him.
- “Stay with me…” a barely there utterance of your name leaves his perfect lips, not the nickname he often used, but your name, reserved often only for the intimacy shared in the privacy of his or your bed.
- Afterwards, he is totally giving you the princess treatment.
- You are always there for him when nightmares shatter his sleep in fragments of a painful past. He has to give back all the kindness and love you showered him in every time.
- Kou will bring you your favorite snack, even try to make it himself, despite the result maybe not being perfect (please accept it, he put so much effort into it!).
- If you’d rather cuddle, he’ll hold you all night, in the same way you did when the phantom of his scars still ached; he’ll sing to you, lyrics only you get to hear, the affection in his voice rivaling his tender touches.
- He just wants to be there for you as much as you have always been for him, he is such a sweet baby who loves you unconditionally.
❀ Subaru Sakamaki.
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- “Tsk, oi! oi!” The anger in his voice is mixed with the shadows of worry and underlying dark hues of panic as he calls for you.
- To no avail, for you slump unresponsive against his chest.
- His arms wrap protectively around your form.
- “You idiot!” He grits his teeth, fear and anger rising in his heart, almost choking him like wilted rose thorns.
- Why are you not answering him? Why is a crease forming in between your brows?
- Is it his fault after all? Does he really always ruin everything? 
- “Subaru…” You call, half unconscious. In your daze and shallow breathing, you cling to him.
- Clenching his jaw, Subaru picks you up in his arms.
- “You really are an idiot…” He softly utters, voice devoid of any malice.
- “Don’t go…” You mumble, skin coated in a sheen of sweat.
- Well, at least you seem to be conscious enough to still know he is by your side. He just hopes this is indeed not too bad.
- Brings you to your bed and when you fully wake up he is most likely losing it because why did you agree to him having your blood if you were feeling weak?
- You know he can go without it for a little longer, it’s not like he cares about you of course (his words not mine) it’s more that it’s a hassle to have to care for you afterwards and besides what if something had really happened to you or what if you hadn’t been with him-
- His speech is interrupted by your hands gently cupping his face and your lips on top of his.
- For an instant, ruby eyes widen, his cheeks matching their hue, but then he is quick to return the kiss.
- There is desperation written all over it, filling the sensation with subtle layers of fear, white wilted petals on moonless nights.
- “I love you…” You think you hear, barely above a whisper, when you part ways.
- “What did you say, Subaru?” You ask, half teasing.
- His face’s hue deepens, as he pouts, looking away.
- “I told you! You have to tell me when you are too exhausted to give me blood! Don’t you dare do that again!” He sputters, stomping away.
- Well, you’d rather he be his tsundere self that have him worried about you (as cute as he is).
❀ Azusa Mukami.
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- Not a good idea to fall unconscious by his side, just saying /hj.
- See, Azusa is a sweet boy. It’s just that he might use… rather… eh… unconventional methods to try and wake you up.
- I mean, yes, he sure is scared that you just have fainted on him, but also the pained expression on your face… That means you are enjoying this, no?
- Then, is this really bad? Maybe if he gives you some new “friends” you might come to.
- He really is trying his best, poor baby :(
- But this isn’t right… you usually flinch or try to resist when he tries to cut you.
- Why are you completely unresponsive now?
- “Hey… Eve…” Azusa calls, his voice slightly quivering, the usual aloofness in it threatening to crack.
- This is definitely not good, you always answered him, after all.
- Now he is beginning to become frightened. What if he ends up losing you too? He doesn't want you to be just a permanently etched wound on his skin. He needs you, your here and now.
- “Azusa, what are you doing?” Ruki’s voice cuts through his disarrayed thoughts.
- “Eve… they… they fainted.”
- “It’s not severe, I told you not to cut her too much, figure it out by yourself.” Is Ruki’s statement as he walks away.
- After a few minutes, you finally regain consciousness.
- You are met by dull amethyst eyes, a silver lining illuminating them beautifully the moment you react.
- “You’re awake… Eve…” 
- He wraps his arms around you before you’ve had time to fully sit up from the daze.
- “Azusa!” You yelp, not expecting the sudden embrace.
- Despite him always having a cold body temperature, his hug feels… comforting, a welcome warmth fending off the chills that raked your skin up until moments ago.
- A smile tugs at your lips, as you return the embrace. Perhaps Azusa is learning about this gentler kid of affection now.
- In that case, you’ll give him plenty of it. You stay like that for a while, neither of you wanting to pull away.
- “Eve… is safe…” He whispers, pulling away enough to lock eyes with you with a tender smile.
- And his gentleness does certainly make you feel that way right now.
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: ̗̀➛ posted to my ao3 too: PrincessAmy.
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newobsessionweekly · 5 months
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Diamonds and dreams
Tim Bradford x Buckley!reader
Crossover The Rookie x 911
Fandoms: The Rookie, 911
Summary: Tim teams up with your brother, Buck, to plan the proposal. You get hurt in the process, unintentionally, but it's for a good cause.
A/N: Another crossover, and I don't think I'll stop here. I love so much both Tim and Buck. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and I'm open for requests! I'm sorry if I made some mistakes while writing, english is not my first language, but I'm trying to improve. Thank you so much for your support so far. Take care of yourselves, bubs! I appreciate everything single one of you! Lots of love! ❤️
Warnings: Swearing ? Maybe. Bunch of fluff and banter anyways. Not proofread yet
Fluff | A bit of angst
Requested: No
Words: 4.9k
Requests are open for Tim and Buck.
GIF not mine, credits to the owner.
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For the past three years, your life took unexpected twists, one after one. You didn't know back then how impactful a police officer doing his job would be to your life. You never expected to fall for the all-so-serious officer, whose indignation spoke volumes in the presence of firefighters.
Tim had only one opinion about the other branch of first responders — reckless, not so sharp, and definitely idiots, but they mean well. That was before meeting you.
After a massive earthquake hit LA, the chaos that followed can't be described. People running around looking for the close ones, screaming, and a lot of pain. LAPD was sent on the streets to maintain order while LAFD rushed to rescue everyone in need. They were hand in hand and, for the first time in his life, Tim was following the orders of a firefighter— you.
He complained at first, but when he understood you were more than a reckless woman, he obeyed. Back then, Tim saw in you a seriousness that made him eat his words. The way you pushed yourself aside for the safety of the civilians, the way you disobeyed the book in a risky situation, questioning everything you knew for the people. You allowed him to help, and he was there by your side the whole time, mesmerised by the way you gave everything you had, pushed away any fear and doubts and crawled into wrecked precincts to save every single one of them.
There was a huge difference between the two branches of first responders. LAPD was trained to save the law, maintain order, protect the vulnerable and punish the guilty, while LAFD was trained to protect and save regarding the guilty and they've seen unimaginable things, making them aware the life is short and you need to cherish it every second.
And when you showed him that ugly side of your job, Tim never saw you the same again. Drawn by your determination and dedication to save every soul and by your love and beauty you carried around, he fell for you, hard.
But he never accepted the real dangers of your job. Actually, he never accepted that your dedication was so profound, that you'd give your life to save another without second thoughts. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you some day due to your 'dedication'.
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You’re both standing in the middle of the living room, the air thick with tension that’s been building for weeks. Tonight’s argument was inevitable, ignited by the underlying fear and frustration that’s been simmering beneath the surface.
Tim’s heart pounds in his chest as he looks at you, his concern turning into frustration. He knows that firefighting is dangerous, but seeing you take unnecessary risks feels like a constant weight on his shoulders.
“Damn it, Y/N!” he exclaims, his voice loud and filled with anger. “You can’t keep ignoring orders and putting yourself in danger! You’re a firefighter, not a one-woman hero team!”
You clench your fists, feeling defensive, his words sounding like an accusation. “I know what I’m doing, Tim. Sometimes you have to take risks to save lives.”
“Fire isn’t something predictable,” Tim interjects, his voice firm. “When you're dealing with an armed suspect, you can see the next move in his eyes. But with fire? It's nothing like that and, when it happens, it's probably too late."
His words cut deep, and tears fill your eyes as you try to make him understand. You feel misunderstood, judged, and it hurts.
“Predictable or not, I trust my instincts,” you shoot back, your voice shaking. “Sometimes you have to go with your gut, Tim, not just follow orders blindly.”
"But at what cost?” Tim retorts, his face flushed with frustration. “How many times do we have to argue about this before you realize that you’re not invincible?”
Your eyes fill with tears, the weight of his words hitting you hard. “I’m not saying I’m invincible,” you reply, tears streaming down your face. “I just believe in doing whatever it takes to save lives, even if it means bending the rules sometimes.”
“Bending the rules?” Tim’s voice cracks, hurt evident in his expression. “Y/N, this isn’t a game. Lives are at stake, including yours!”
You’re openly crying now, the tears blurring your vision as you try to make him understand. “I need you to trust me, Tim. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”
“I need to be able to trust that you’ll come home safely,” Tim says, his voice softer now, filled with genuine concern. “I can’t keep worrying every time you’re on shift, wondering if you’re going to make it home in one piece.”
"But this is who I am, Tim. I can’t change that.”
Tim’s thoughts swirl with a mix of love, fear, and frustration as he watches you, torn between wanting to protect you and knowing he can’t control your choices. “I need some time to think,” he finally says, his voice filled with resignation.
Without another word, you grab your bag and head for the door, leaving Tim standing alone in the living room, his face a mask of regret and worry. As you make your way to Lucy’s apartment, the weight of the argument pressing down on you, you can’t shake the feeling that something has changed between you and Tim, something that might be impossible to repair.
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You stand before Lucy’s door, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks streaked with tears. With a shaky breath, you knock softly as your heart is pounding in your chest. The door swings open to reveal Lucy’s shocked face, her eyes widening at your disheveled appearance.
“Y/N? What the hell happened?” Lucy’s voice is filled with concern as she wraps you in a comforting embrace, feeling the tension in your body.
Tamara rushes in, eyes wide with worry. "Are you okay?”
As Lucy's comforting embrace envelops you, a mixture of relief and despair washes over you. You lean into her warmth, grateful for the solace she provides amidst the chaos of your emotions. Tamara's worried expression only adds to the weight of the situation, highlighting the gravity of the rift between you and Tim.
"I’m so sorry,” you stammer, tears threatening anew. “I didn’t know where else to go. I can't go to Buck like this and –"”
Lucy steps back, creating space for you to enter, "You're always welcome here, Y/N. You know that."
Lucy leads you to the couch and wraps her arm around your shoulders as you found a small measure of comfort in her presence. The unspoken understanding between you eases some of the ache in your heart, reminding you that you're not alone in this struggle.
Tamara places a comforting hand on your knee, her eyes filled with empathy as Lucy spoke, “Come on, tell us what happened."
You take a shaky breath, trying to steady your voice as you recount the intense argument with Tim. “We had a fight, a really bad one. He said he needed some time to think.”
Your love for Tim is boundless, a deep-rooted connection that fills your heart with warmth and joy. Every moment spent with him is a treasure, each shared smile and whispered promise a testament to the depth of your affection. And being so far from him, it was a nightmare. Leaving so abruptly, both of your anger and frustration bottled inside, this tore you apart.
Tamara’s eyes narrow, her tone incredulous. “Tim said that? What could possibly have happened?”
“He thinks I’m reckless, that I put myself and my team in danger,” you explain, the sting of his words still fresh in your mind.
The pain of your fight weighs heavily on your soul, a sharp ache that refuses to fade. His words cut deep, leaving you reeling with a sense of loss and betrayal. The thought of losing him, of facing a future without his love, is almost unbearable.
Lucy shakes her head, her eyes filled with empathy. “Tim’s always been by-the-book. He values rules and order. But being a firefighter isn’t always black and white.”
You nod, wiping away tears with the back of your hand. “Exactly. But he just won't listen.”
Lucy sighs, her eyes softening with understanding. “Tim loves you. He’s just scared. Scared of losing you.” She can see the pain in your eyes, the uncertainty about the future of your relationship.
“I know,” you sniffle, trying to hold back the tears. “But it’s not just about him being scared. It’s about understanding who I am and what I do.”
Tamara nods, her expression thoughtful. “Sometimes love isn’t enough, Y/N. Sometimes two people can love each other deeply but still be incompatible in some ways.”
“I don’t want to lose him,” you say, feeling the weight of her words. “But I also don’t want to lose myself.” You grapple with the conflicting emotions, torn between love and self-respect.
Lucy chuckles softly, trying to lighten the mood. She stands up, heading to the kitchen to prepare some tea. “You won't lose him. He’s stubborn as hell, but he loves you. You know that."
Tamara smirks, leaning back on the couch. “Well, men are from Mars, right? We’ll never fully understand them.”
Lucy laughs, raising her hands in mock surrender. “True that. But hey, if anyone can knock some sense into Tim, it’s you, Y/N.”
Tamara smirks, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leans back on the couch. “You know, Y/N, I like you more and more. Just so you know, everything you’ve said tonight will be used against Tim tomorrow.” She winks playfully, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Lucy’s going to make his shift a living hell.”
Lucy chuckles, her eyes dancing with amusement. “Oh, you bet I will. He won’t know what hit him.” She laughs, the tension in the room further dissipating with their playful banter.
You can’t help but laugh along with them, grateful for the light-hearted moment amidst the emotional chaos. “Just promise me you’ll go easy on him. He’s still my guy, after all.”
Yet, even in the midst of your despair, your love for him remains steadfast. It is a beacon of hope in the darkness, a guiding light that keeps you tethered to him, even when the distance between you feels insurmountable.
Tamara raises an eyebrow, her grin widening. “No promises,” Lucy says with a playful shrug.
You shake your head, chuckling at their antics. “Alright, alright. Just remember, I’ll have to deal with him after you two are done.”
After a moment of silence, Tamara's face brightens, an idea forming. “You know what we need? A girls’ night. We could all use a little distraction, right?”
Lucy grins, nodding in agreement. “Absolutely. Some wine, some movies, and some girl talk. It’s just what the doctor ordered.”
You smile weakly, grateful for their support. “That sounds nice.”
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Meanwhile, across town, Tim and Buck find themselves in the comfort of Tim's living room. With beers in hand and the soft glow of the TV providing background noise, both men seem to have left the weight of the day behind them, engrossed in their own world of laughter and banter.
But Tim's thoughts are consumed by the image of you, tears staining your cheeks as you walked out the door. Each memory of your tearful departure cuts him deeply, a sharp pang of guilt and sorrow gnawing at his heart.
Buck takes a swig of his beer, glancing over at him with a curious expression. “So, how did the fight go?”
Tim sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I think I overstepped a little. She was crying and she left. It broke me to see her like that and let her go."
Seeing you hurt because of him breaks him in ways he never imagined. He would give anything to erase the hurt he's caused, to mend the fractures in your relationship. But he knows that sometimes love requires sacrifice, even if it means bearing the weight of your pain.
Buck nods understandingly, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "It's all part of the plan, Tim. We knew it would be tough, but it's for the best." He tries to reassure Tim, understanding the struggle his friend is going through.
Tim looks at Buck, gratitude in his eyes. "I know, I know. It's just hard, you know? Seeing her hurt and knowing I'm the cause of it, even if it's for a good reason."
Buck places a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder. "At least this will buy us some time. Where's she now?"
Tim smiles slightly, the tension easing from his shoulders. "At Lucy's. She texted me when Y/N got there. She'll be crashing on Lucy's couch."
Buck chuckles, picking up his beer again. "Good, at least she's safe. Lucy will take care of her. She always does."
Tim nods, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, Lucy's been great. I'm glad she's there for Y/N."
The two men sit in companionable silence for a moment, the weight of their secret plan hanging in the air between them. It's a plan born out of love and a desire to create the perfect proposal for you, but it comes with its own set of challenges and emotions.
Buck's voice is filled with excitement. "You know, once all of this is over, and you've proposed, it's going to be amazing. Y/N is going to be over the moon."
Tim smiles, the vision of his future with you filling his mind. "I know, Buck. I can't wait to make her my wife."
Amidst the pain, there's a profound love that anchors him, a love so deep it eclipses the darkness of your current strife. You're more than just his partner; you're his rock, his solace, his reason for waking up each day with a smile. Your laughter brightens his darkest moments, your touch soothes his weary soul, and your presence fills his life with a sense of purpose and joy he never thought possible.
The two men raise their beers in a toast, their smiles reflecting the hope and love that fills their hearts.
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Tim glances over at Lucy, his voice filled with concern. "How's Y/N holding up? I haven't heard from her since that night."
He can't shake the self-loathing that grips him, the regret for letting things escalate to this point.
Lucy raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her lips. "A bit pissed at you, but she's safe."
"I hate myself for that. I really don't like this whole...situation. Especially letting her go and forcing her to sleep on your couch."
He never wanted to hurt you, never intended for things to unravel like this. And the idea of you sleeping on Lucy's couch, away from him, fills him with a sense of emptiness he can't bear.
She chuckles softly, her tone teasing. "You could've called, you know. Women like that kind of thing."
Tim lets out a sigh, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, I figured as much. I just thought... well, some space might be good."
Lucy's teasing only adds to his discomfort, her playful jabs hitting a little too close to home. He knows he should have done a lot of things, but fear and uncertainty held him back, clouding his judgment with doubt.
Lucy raises an eyebrow, “Space, huh? Sounds like a classic Bradford move. But you might want to pick up the phone. Y/N deserves to know you’re not pushing her away.”
Tim chuckles, shaking his head. "Trust me, I plan to. I just needed some time to... you know, plan everything out, to get it right."
Lucy grins, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But you better make this worth it, you hear me?" She nudges him playfully. "And soon. She might love you and might be willing to wait for you, but don't test her patience."
Tim smiles, gratitude evident in his gaze. "I will, Lucy. And thanks, for everything."
Lucy waves him off with a chuckle. "Don't mention it. Just remember to thank me after she says yes." She winks at him, her smile warm and supportive.
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You've been camping on the girls' couch for the past three days. It wasn't all that bad; some time off work was just what you needed, and your fight with Tim allowed you to sort through some old stuff.
When you were about to drift off to sleep again, Lucy burst into the living room. "Alright, couch potato, time to get up!”
You groaned, pulling a pillow over your face. “Five more minutes, Lucy.”
With a chuckle, Lucy yanked the pillow away and extended her hand. “Come on, Y/N. It’s time to get some fresh air. You can’t stay on my couch forever.”
Reluctantly, you accepted Lucy’s help to sit up. “What happened to ‘you’re always welcome here’? My free stay at Hotel Lucy is over?”
Lucy laughed. “Exactly. It’s check-out time, Missy.”
You smirked, slipping on your sneakers. "Well, send the bill to Bradford; he's the only one at fault for this."
With her keys in hand, Lucy grinned. “How about a ride along? A little patrol action might be good for you.”
Raising an eyebrow teasingly, you countered, “Trying to get rid of me, Lucy?”
She chuckled. “Just trying to help you get some fresh air. And maybe a little distraction.”
As you reluctantly rose from the comfort of Lucy's couch, a whirlwind of emotions churned within you. The past few days had been a rollercoaster of hurt, confusion, and a desperate longing to mend things with Tim. But amidst the chaos, there was a glimmer of hope – hope that today could mark the beginning of reconciliation, of healing the wounds that had torn you apart.
“Alright, alright. But only because I’m craving some fresh, questionable coffee from the station.”
“Deal. But you’re buying the donuts!” Lucy teased.
“Deal. But only if they have sprinkles.”
Suddenly, Lucy stopped and appraised you, shaking her head. “Oh no, no. You can’t possibly leave the house like that. Off to the shower with you, you’re starting to smell like my couch.”
Stepping into the shower, the warm water washing away the remnants of doubt and insecurity as you made a silent vow to yourself. Today would be the beginning of a new chapter for you both, a chance to rebuild what had been broken and to forge a stronger, more resilient bond.
You returned to find some of your clothes laid out on the couch, courtesy of Lucy and Tamara. Raising an eyebrow, you turned to Lucy. “Don’t you think that’s a little bit extra?”
It wasn't exactly what you'd wear for patrolling, but considering Tim probably handed them to Lucy, you couldn't really complain.
Just then, Tamara emerged from her bedroom with a smirk. “You should be thankful I didn’t pick the outfit.”
You chuckled, wondering why she wasn’t at school. “Fair enough. Shouldn’t you be at school by now?”
Tamara waved it off, pulling out her makeup kit. “I’ll miss the first period to do your makeup. You owe me.”
Sighing, you looked between Lucy and Tamara. “Come on, girls. It’s just a day of patrolling. Nothing special.”
Lucy shook her head, her eyes serious. “No, hun. Today you’ll be right next to Tim. Breathing in his neck. You need to show him what he’s missing.”
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The engine's soft hum reverberates through the car as Tim navigates the streets, the tension inside as thick as the fog rolling in from the bay. Lucy rides shotgun, her mischievous glances back at you adding to the palpable unease. Seated in the back, you stare out the window, attempting to distract yourself with the passing scenery, anything to escape the suffocating silence.
Lucy's voice cuts through the tension like a knife, her cheeriness a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere. "Hey, Bradford," she chirps. "How about we make a quick stop for some coffee and donuts? My treat."
Tim's eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, briefly meeting yours before he nods. "Sure, sounds good."
Pulling into a local coffee shop's parking lot, Lucy practically leaps out of the car, leaving you and Tim alone for a fleeting moment.
"You could've called," you murmur softly, finally breaking the suffocating silence. "Three days, Tim."
Tim's grip tightens on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. "I know, Y/N. I'm sorry. It's... it's complicated."
Before you can delve deeper, Lucy returns with a tray laden with coffee and a box of donuts. She hands you a cup before settling into her seat, her eyes glinting with an inscrutable knowingness.
As Tim lifts his coffee to his lips, you notice the slight tremble in his hand. "Everything okay, Tim?" Lucy inquires, her innocence a thin veil over her ulterior motives.
Tim clears his throat, averting his gaze. "Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess."
Lucy's smirk is unmistakable as she reaches for a donut. "Well, these should help with that."
Taking a sip of your coffee, you feel its warmth spreading through you, but it does little to dispel the tension in the air. However, there's a shift—a subtle change in the atmosphere. The silence is no longer suffocating; instead, it's pregnant with anticipation, each breath heavy with unspoken words.
Finally, Tim speaks, his voice laced with vulnerability. "Y/N, about the fight... I never meant to hurt you. I just needed some time to sort things out."
You meet his gaze, the sincerity in his eyes tugging at something deep within you. There's a weight to his words, a heaviness that speaks volumes about the distress he's been wrestling with.
As the shop continues its journey, the tension remains, but it's tempered now by a sense of curiosity and cautious hope. Unbeknownst to you, Tim's anxiety isn't solely about your relationship, and Lucy's scheming grin betrays her satisfaction with how her plan is unfolding.
Throughout the day, Tim's behavior had been perplexing, he carefully avoided any calls that hinted at danger. It felt as though he was intentionally shielding you from harm, a protective barrier wrapped around you even as you yearned for the adrenaline rush of the job.
But the tranquility of the day shattered with Nolan's urgent call for backup. The gravity of the situation hit you like a sledgehammer, sending a jolt of adrenaline coursing through your veins.
“Dispatch, this is Officer Nolan, requesting backup at my location. Officers under fire, need immediate assistance,” Nolan’s voice is clear and urgent.
Without hesitation, Tim accepts the call, urgency in his voice for the first time that day. “Roger that, Nolan. We’re en route.”
Tim accelerates towards the scene, the Griffith Observatory coming into view. The iconic building stands majestically atop the hill, its silhouette against the clear blue sky adding a surreal beauty to the unfolding situation.
As you arrived on the scene, the deafening sound of gunfire filled the air, drowning out any semblance of normalcy. Lucy and Tim sprang into action, their movements swift and purposeful as they navigated the chaos.
"Stay in the car, Y/N!" Tim's command pierced through the chaos, his tone leaving no room for debate.
But as you sat there, the abrupt silence that followed sent a chill down your spine. Lucy's panicked cry for Tim shattered the stillness, sending your heart into overdrive, “Bradford!”
Ignoring Tim's orders, you bolted from the shop, desperation fuelling your every step. The scene before you was a tableau of chaos and confusion, the beauty of the Observatory juxtaposed against the violence that unfolded within its walls.
You searched frantically for any sign of Tim or Lucy, all you found was Tim's abandoned radio, a silent witness to the turmoil that had unfolded.
The setting sun cast long shadows, casting an eerie glow over the scene, a reminder of the fragility of life in the face of danger. And the tension is electric, like the calm before a storm. Tim’s voice crackles through the radio, cutting through the silence.
“Y/N Buckley, can you hear me?"
Tim's heart races with anticipation as he waits for your response. He's nervous, hoping that you'll hear him clearly. He wonders if you'll be able to sense the nerves in his voice, hoping that you'll understand the significance of what he's about to do.
Grinning, you grab the radio. “Loud and clear, Bradford” you replied, your voice steady but your pulse quickening with each passing second.
A pause stretches out, thick with anticipation. “Close your eyes, Buckley. And this time, try not to defy a direct order.”
Rolling your eyes but intrigued, you humor him and shut your eyes, taking a deep breath of the crisp air, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through your veins. You focused on the sound of Tim's voice, letting it wash over you like a warm embrace as he began to speak.
"You and I, Y/N, we’re a wild ride,” Tim starts, his voice unexpectedly tender. “Who would’ve thought our journey would lead us here, to this crazy, beautiful moment?”
As Tim's voice crackled through the radio, a surge of nervous energy swept through him. He had rehearsed his words a thousand times in his mind, but now that the moment was upon him, he couldn't help but feel a pang of doubt.
The weight of the ring in his hand served as a reminder of the gravity of the situation, filling him with both excitement and trepidation.
A soft touch grazes your hand, sending a thrill up your spine. Your heart pounds in your chest.
“You challenge me, drive me nuts, and somehow make me a better man,” he continues through the radio, a hint of a smile in his voice. “And damn it, I love you for it.”
You can’t help but smile, a warmth spreading through you. As you listen, you feel tears prickling at the corners of your closed eyes. Tim's words resonate with you, stirring something within yourself that you can't quite put into words.
You want to open your eyes, to see the man you love more clearly, but you also want to savor this moment a little while longer.With each word, you feel your heart swell with love for Tim. His vulnerability, his honesty, it all takes your breath away, leaving you utterly captivated.
"Open your eyes, sweetheart," Tim's voice breaks through your reverie, pulling you back to the present moment.
With a flutter of excitement, you obey, slowly parting your eyelids to reveal the sight before you. There is Tim, his eyes filled with love and longing as he slowly kneels down before your eyes, a small velvet box in his hand. The sight of him, vulnerable and trembling, fills you with a sense of awe and gratitude as the setting sun casts a golden halo around him, the cityscape stretching out behind him in a breathtaking panorama.
Tears of joy well in your eyes as you take in the sight of the ring in his hand, your heart overflowing with love for the man who means the world to you.
“Y/N Buckley,” Tim’s voice wavers just a bit, “will you marry me?”
For a moment, you are stunned into silence, your mind reeling with the weight of his question. You feel a surge of emotion welling up inside, threatening to spill over at any moment. This is it, the moment you've been dreaming of, the moment you've been waiting for since you laid eyes on Tim, few years back.
Tim chuckles, a nervous but endearing laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes?”
"Yes, Tim. A thousand times, yes!" your voice choked with tears, as your words ring out into the night, a declaration of love and commitment that echoes through the air.
With a trembling hand, Tim slips the ring onto your finger, sealing their promise with a simple yet profound gesture. As your eyes meet once more, you share a moment of perfect understanding, a silent acknowledgment of the love that binds you together.
Without another word, you're in each other's arms, holding onto each other tightly as if trying to make up for all the time you've lost. In that moment, nothing else matters but the overwhelming love you share, a love that has weathered every storm and emerged stronger than ever before.
Tim's lips meet yours in a tender kiss, a sweet yet passionate embrace that speaks volumes more than words ever could. You cling to each other, lost in the intensity of your emotions, your hearts beating as one in the darkness.
As you pull away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you share a smile that lights up the night. In each other's arms, you find solace and strength, knowing that no matter what the future holds, you'll face it together, hand in hand, heart to heart.
Nolan chimes in through the radio, his voice filled with laughter. "Bradford, are we breaking out the champagne or what?"
Tim's smile widens at Nolan's words, and he glances over at you with a playful twinkle in his eye. "Hold off on the champagne, Nolan," he replies, unable to suppress a laugh. "She said yes."
Murmuring softly, Tim leaned in close to your ear. "I guess I didn’t mess this one up, huh?"
You chuckled softly, leaning into his embrace. "Not this time, Bradford."
243 notes · View notes
flippinpancakes64 · 3 months
Note
the cullens with reader who is a VERY popular movie star, but only plays in horror movies as the killer (and she makes them watch her movies)?
The Cullens with a Horror Movie Actor
Thank you for requesting!
In your request you mentioned “she” but I hope you don’t mind that I changed it to be more gender neutral
Anyways I hope you enjoy!
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Edward:
He thinks it's pretty sick tbh
I feel like he might have wanted to be an actor at one point
So seeing you living out your dreams is huge for him
You wouldn't need to force him to sit down to watch your movies
However I feel like he'd get a little in his own head about you being a killer
If you're still human he'd probably start that line of thinking where if he turned you you'd become a real-life killer, how your characters are just fake people but that's like the real him, blah blah
Just cut him off with a big 'ol smooch
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Alice:
Again, very supportive
She'd make a whole day of it every time one of your movies releases
Of course, you would need to bring her as your plus one to the premier
She might give you pointers tho tbh
Even though they're not really for you
"Blood doesn't actually spurt like that, it's more of a stream"
As if you control the sfx
Either way she loves it
Thinks you are the most talented actor/actress ever
She would buy posters of your movies and frame them
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Jasper:
He gets a little freaked out tbh
First of all, don't go to the theater with him
All of the people getting scared at the same time in such a concentrated group absolutely fires his brain
The sight of human blood (fake or real, on the screen or not) triggers him juuust a little
He also gets a little put off if your character seems to really enjoy the horror they cause
It reminds him of the way newborns love to hunt and kill
He's gonna need some one-on-one time with the real you after watching the movie
Just to remind him how you really are
Don't worry, it's not that he doesn't like what you do or that he doesn't like the movies
It's just the fact that it unsettles him a little thinking about what you could be if he ever turned you
He will watch them though
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Rosalie:
She thinks it's badass
Hands down she loves it
I mean she went around killing and torturing her abuser in a wedding dress
That is so horror movie material
And even though that isn't her anymore, I feel like she'd love a good horror movie
And with you as the star? It's her new favorite
Instantly the whole movie is switched around for her
Who cares if you're "supposed" to be the bad guy
Those hitchhikers MUST have done something bad to deserve this
She will gladly sit down and watch them with you
She might even turn them on herself a couple of times
#1 Fan
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Emmett:
Don't invite him to the movie premier
He'll show up in a shirt that says "I love my partner even though they're a psycho murderer" of smthn
In all honesty though he loves it
He loves seeing the people around him be strong and brave
He LOVED it when Bella was able to crush the rock and jump super high and hit Jacob
So I feel like he'd get a kick out of you in a mask with a chainsaw
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Esme:
I feel like she's not too into horror movies
Absolutely shocking take I know
She just gets enough blood and guts and suspense in her daily life yk
But she will watch it for you
She won't say anything but she also gets a bit unnerved by you being the villain
I feel like she sort of has that underlying feeling of being a monster
So seeing the stuff that she has to do to survive dramatized on screen and played out by none other than her partner
It strikes a chord deep in her heart
She will also need some one-on-one time with you afterward to remind herself that that is not you on the screen
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Carlisle:
I actually think he'd be quite the horror lover
I feel like he has a fascination with the way sfx and prosthetics are made for movies
Unironically I think one of his favorite film franchises is Saw
So he would be more than happy to sit down and watch your movie
He has absolutely no issue with you being the villain
The only thing he cares about is talking specifics
He's like Alice but worse
He points out every set error
He's like those old YouTube videos of people pointing out every error made in *insert movie here*
"Look there's one of the boom mics"
"That blood is a bit too pink, and runny"
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Vampire! Bella:
Again, she thinks it's badass
She's only recently gotten a handle on being an agile killer
So in her mind she's still that clumsy girl sometimes
Seeing her partner on the screen being a badass killer makes her so proud
Unfortunately another one you shouldn't take to the premier
She is wearing one of those god awful dresses with one bad image of your face printed all over it from redbubble or smthn
And no she won't take it off or change
She already had to sneak out of the house without Alice seeing it
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scribiel · 6 months
Text
NIGHTIANGLES
Jujutsu Kaisen! Satoru Gojo x fem! reader
tags: Satoru Gojo x fem! reader, angst, illicit affairs, forbidden relationship, cheating, reader and satoru had a forbidden relationship, set up in a higher society, written in letter form/epistolary
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To you, who sat beneath the gleaming golden sunlight; 
Implicit because it was all nothing but illicit.
To you, my other half,
I always thought living in lowkey was never the key. I loved writing in capital letters, shouting and screaming, declaring in high volumes, painting with bright colors. I loved the spotlight. But everything changed once I met you at the auction. It was supposed to stop there. Right after I won it. But we met again at the charity event, and all I knew was your parents had set you up with someone else. Same with mine. A typical thing that happened in an elite society.  
And then at the masquerade. Beautiful room colliding with those beautiful blue horizon wide glassy eyes of yours was something I wasn’t prepared for. It all began again with a simple dance and small talk; coffee or tea; hot or cold turned into a cascade of events. Including the ‘I didn’t know my soon-to-be-fiance-picked-by-my-parents would be there too’ event. I ran outside because he was calling me a whore for dancing with you (even though he called me in private, it still broke my heart). Then, fate arranged for us to meet at the garden. How you gave me your tux because it was cold, I was cold. You threw these stupid jokes about how ugly his nose was, how bad his tux was, how I could’ve had someone better than him. And I laughed.
You made me laugh.
We met again. Un or fortunately, we met too many times. We got too comfortable with each other.  How your hands sent me condolences because I was stupidly fighting with my boyfriend, turned into the hands who gave me affection, scrutiny to check all my underlying injuries, and the hands that should’ve never held me. 
The night you made me yours, marked me permanently, was also the night I hoped time could’ve stood still. I hoped the comfort you gave me wouldn’t be washed away in the morning. You should know, when you spinned me around in your apartment, and then you pressed the longest kiss into my temples, whispered, “I wanna marry you.”
It was also the moment you lit up all my hopes, built my dreams, and started a war between love and duty. So I laughed. “Do you think it will be possible?”
And you said it, certainly, “I’d give anything in my power to make you mine. I swear this to you.”
Oh Satoru, that moment made me sure that I could give everything up for you, for us. I could’ve ripped my heart out and put it in your hands as an evidence of love. But we kept going in spite of the disagreement from everyone. Threats after threats, we kept knitting our threads of love in the dark. Where no one could see, could notice. But for once, I was okay to live in a lowkey, write in lowercase, whisper as declaration, and paint with pale colors. I hated the spotlight, because that was the only place I shouldn’t be seen with you. Every glance we made in between the crowds, every time our hands brushed against each other, every casual ‘oh-I-ran-into-you-at-the-parking-lot’ … they were all implicit silent forms of affection. I hoped the crowds, the mass, my and your parents wouldn’t notice the sparkles in the air, and the moment our eyes lit up each time they met. 
Terrifying, how I wanted to reach someone who bathed under such beautiful light, but the world had forbidden me to reach it. To reach you. So in the end, my hands were tied. I was so scared that what if I couldn't have done anything but watched love slip beyond our reach. I watched you, love, and us slipped away. But you firmly said, “That’s not gonna happen, I won’t let it.”
My fears turned into nightmares. I had nightmares about losing you, so I prayed. All the sacred prayers only because I was scared to lose you, to lose all my sweet dreams. But I forgot that nightmares were dreams as well. All my sacred prayers brought me nothing but nightmares turned into realities. And my hopes were burned, turned into ashes. 
I grasped everything that was left (I would never return your sweater that you left in my apartment), I wanted to hold it for the rest of my life. I held it every night, searching and reminiscing about you. 
Losing my chances, all my dreams and hopes were buried deep by the avalanche the moment I heard you got married. So then I sat on the floor, and came to realize that all those hopes, those fairytales that kept me awake at night with shimmering hopes upon my eyes were sung by the nightingales. They would never be heard when the sun came up, only meant to be a folktale to nobody but us, the lovers in the night. 
Even now, your sweater is the only thing that gets me through the night, the thing that I keep like a sacred oath. 
P.s. Do memories flow into your brain each time you call your daughter? If they do, then you are forever cursed for naming your only daughter after me.
From me, who wanted to bath beneath the gleaming golden sunlight with you; 
From me, your other half
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mara-and-its-the-same · 4 months
Text
This one is for my very darling friend @loving-and-dreaming, my first mutual, and a very wonderful friend <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY
Steve Harrington x reader, no indicators or pronouns. Reader does not like their birthday but steve helps them have a good one this year, no warnings <3
1.9k
Having only been with Steve Harrington for a little less than half a year, birthdays haven’t really come up yet. It was easy to skirt around the topic since the one time he asked directly was at Dustin’s party and with all the commotion you could dodge it with just saying the month and feigning distraction by the cake Claudia put out. 
Since your 15th birthday they’ve all been a little bit of a let down. Either other commitments get in the way of your friends celebrating with you, and other family birthdays being right around it distracted them too. Even if last year’s before you met Steve and were introduced to the group was a little better than usual, it wasn’t exactly good. It’s easy to be tempted by optimism, seeing how easy it is for him to be so caring, thinking maybe he’d give you some kind of celebration, the kind you’ve been waiting for since you were a teenager. Imagining what it’d be like to say “Did I forget to tell you my birthday’s next month?” and hear something like “No way, do you want to go out? Have people over?” and then tell him every dream birthday celebration you can remember coming up with until you realized that they’d probably never come true. AND THEN HOW HE’D MAKE THEM COME TRUE. Because you know him by now and you know that he absolutely would, but there’s always the underlying assumption that it’d end up like it does every year and to give yourself hope like that would just be inviting more room to be let down. 
With each day that passes only leaves less time to tell him…at least there’s still his birthday…
***
“Are you ready, babe?” Steve called from the kitchen thinking you’re still in your bedroom getting your jewelry on.
“Yeah, just getting my shoes on!” You yelled from the front hall. When you stood up to check through your purse and make sure everything is in it, you noticed your wallet was missing. “Steve! Can you see if my wallet’s on the counter?”
“Yeah, it’s right here.” He noticed it was left open and saw your driver's license through the clear slot. Then he noticed the first digit of your birthdate, then the day, then he flushed with panic thinking that you had to have told him and he just forgot that your birthday is literally tomorrow. In a split second of deliberation, he decided that to ask about it right then would be a horrific moment of self incrimination, and that the very second he got home he’d try as hard as he could to make the day special for you.
***
There was hardly a wait at the restaurant, only having to wait for a few minutes in the foyer before the hostess came to get you. “Hey, um, would you give me just a second? I gotta go make a call real quick.”
“Yeah– yeah, that’s ok.” You were left watching the goldfish floating through the blue fluorescent lights of their tank while Steve went to the payphone behind the coat closet. You guys don’t have birthdays, do you? You’re fish…
“All good.” He came back around the corner and slid into the seat next to you, even leaning in to kiss your jaw, too.
“Who’d you call?”
“Hm?”
“You have secrets now, Mr. Harrington?”
“Only the good kind.”
“Hmmm, well that’s debatable,” you lolled your neck so you could look at him out of the corner of your eye, he tilted his head and cocked a brow. “A good kind of secret?”
“There’s nice secrets as long as they’re eventually not secrets.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but were cut short by the hostess. “If you’ll follow me please?”
***
“We’ll go back to your place, right?” Steve asked you as he got into the driver’s seat. 
“You don’t have to work tomorrow?”
“Uhhh,” he feigned looking at his watch, “not for 14 hours. I can just drop you off if you wanted, too?”
“If you think you can make it on time?”
“I think I’ll make it.” He made the definitive turn between your house and his and it only made a few minutes difference. 
***
You woke up with a flutter of lashes and a deep breath filling all of your lungs from your place cuddled next to Steve on your bed. “Good morning,” you smiled up at him and curled deeper, pulling the duvet back over your shoulders again. 
“Good morning,” he repeated and kissed your hairline just shy of your forehead. “And happy birthday.”
“What?” It sounded breathy and a little pained in a way that frightened him.
“Is it not–?”
“No, no it is. I just didn’t know you knew.” You pushed up from the bed and away from his side. 
“Was I not supposed to?” 
“No, no, it’s good, it’s a good thing. I just don’t like to make a big deal of it.”
“You don’t want to do anything today?”
“I would like us to go about it as we would any other day.”
“Did something happen? Like did something happen on your birthday to make you not want to celebrate it?”
You settled back in but laid on your back next to him instead of on him, “Not really, but nothing especially good has happened either.”
“At all.”
“Steve, it’s been years since I had a good birthday. I don’t like anticipating anything.”
“So you didn’t tell me it was your birthday because you didn’t think it’d be good?”
“It sounds really terrible when you put it like that.”
“Cus it is a little bit.” Your look was more apologetic than you realized. “But I’m not gonna be too mad at you because it’s your birthday.”
“No, you should be mad at me. Just let it be a regular day, really I’m so ok with it. I’m used to it that way.”
“I’m not going to be mad at you, I don’t want to be mad at you. What I want is to do something nice for you on the one day in the whole year that’s just supposed to be focused on you.”
“There’s so many more important days, I promise you I’m really ok with just letting it be like any other day.” 
“So you don’t want a present?” The way he said it made it obvious that he definitely had a present for you already.
You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. “Well, if you got one already I won’t refuse.”
“I’ll be right back.” As soon as he left the bed a rush of cool air flooded your covers and you rolled over into the warmth of the space he left. “Ok, bed hogger, open it.”
“I’m not a bed hogger. It’s my bed.” He sat on the edge to watch as you ripped off the top of the envelope. “When did you do all this?” “I had Robin run it over last night, I thought she’d do a better job at picking a card than Eddie would.”
“While I was asleep you were making people run house calls to my apartment?”
“Just open the card.”
“Ok, ok,” The front cover was a pink and white speckled patterned moment with an oval in the center showcasing a bouquet of flowers in generic shades of pink. The inside was just as adorable, but more in sentiment than it was in looks.
From ink cover to cover you read through his message to you, even if it was a little confusing with the way he wrote around the little pre printed message in the center of the second page rather than over it. 
I’m not always the best with words, and I don’t think I’m any better at this hour, but I need you to know that I love you so much. I’m so grateful that I get to know you, and everything about you, and that I get to love you and all of those things. You’ve given me so much and I hope I can return that feeling. I want to give you the world. Happy Birthday.
Love, 
Steve
The second half was covered in a scramble of half asleep drawings; flowers, little puppies, one of the both of you as stick figures. He’s too precious.
“Thank you so much, honey.” Fit to cry you sat up to ask for a hug before too many feelings overtook you. 
“And you’ll get your real present later.”
“What’s later?”
“When we have a totally normal, preplanned gathering at my place. That thing, been in the calendar for weeks now.”
“I don’t think it has been.”
“Well it’s there now, isn’t it? My place? 7?”
“You have work ‘til 8.”
“It’d probably be 8:30 with the way Keith has been going, but no I called in a favor with him last night, I’m leaving early.”
“You need to stop calling in favors for me.”
“I don’t want to.”
“If you insist.”
***
“Mmmm, go fish.”
“How long do you think this game is gonna go on?” You sat forward on the couch to rest your chin on Steve’s shoulder. The length of the evening getting to you now that someone had the bright idea to play go fish with two decks. 
“Has to be at least an hour. You gotta perk up, we haven’t even had cake yet, you still got all your presents from the kids to open.”
“I’ll see what I can muster. Can you play for me? I want to go hug Robin.”
“Sure thing, honey.”
“Thank you, my love.” You kissed his jaw, closer to his neck though it was all you could reach, as you handed him the cards. Robin brought her arm around you before you even fully sat down. With your head resting on her shoulder you got to look around at all the people who came here to show you how much they love you. Even the kids scrounged together what they could to give you a sweet gift, take it as you will that it was a semi-creepy porcelain figurine from the antique store, maybe it makes it better that El was the one that told you they all saw it and immediately thought of you, as strangely humanoid the little animals look. 
The game went faster when you were half asleep on Robin’s shoulder, but you were easily woken up by the arguments that ensued after the first “No way you won!”
“Alright dickheads, cake in the kitchen! Now.” Steve had his hands on his hips as he ordered the kids to stop fighting the best way he knew how, through food. 
“You’ve gotta be nicer to them,” he brought you into his side as you walked into the kitchen together.
“I will when they earn it.”
“Better than nothing.”
“Was this a good birthday?”
“Better than most, yes.”
“Really?”
“Mhm, really. But you set a high bar for next year.”
“With one day's notice? You bet it’s higher for next year.”
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awkwardtickleetoo · 1 year
Text
Warden’s Revenge
WARDEN 2 IS FINALLY HERE!! very VERY long awaited sequel to this fic here, from over a year ago <33 whoopsies <33 i guess taking a year to write sequels is my specialty or something 🤷‍♂️
i wanna give a huuuuge shoutout to @mushiewrites and @wishitweresummer for helping so much with this!! thank you summer for giving me hcs on bad because i didn’t have much in mind for him, that was a major help!! and thank you mushie for being there for literally everything just like you always are, and for discussing hcs about both bad and sap with me to use for this <3 very very grateful for the help from both of you guys
lee!badboyhalo, lee!sapnap, ler!warden, feat. george and dream, 3.9k words
hope everyone enjoys!!
--
After the… interesting chain of events that had transpired during their first meeting with the Warden, all four members of the group agreed that they definitely needed more practice with the new mob before the next official manhunt. The group in question, of course, being Dream, George, Sapnap, and BadBoyHalo.
They spent some time gathering information on the creature they’d encountered, finding some pretty fascinating things in the process. It was completely blind, relying solely on its senses of smell and touch, as well as any vibrations let off by surrounding players or the frequencies from the sensors that were scattered absolutely everywhere around the cave the creature resided in. It had a melee attack as well, using its long arms to swing and swipe at any threats and dealing more damage than any mob any of them had ever dealt with before, but its preferred form of attack was the shock wave that had taken both Dream and George by storm on that day. They found that the only way to block that shock wave was with a very specific potion of resistance, which none of them deemed worthy enough to stock up on when it had so few other uses and the shock was so avoidable if they played their cards right.
All in all, the creature was very easy to evade, but simultaneously extremely easy to attract if a player wasn’t quite careful enough.
Or, in this case, if a player was setting the creature's sensors off on purpose as revenge on other members of their party.
The group had gone through several different practice attempts at taking on the Warden, wanting to try out every strategy and combination of moves they could think of to make sure they were truly confident in their ability to take the creature on in a real challenge. They tried stealth, they tried breaking off into pairs or trios or any combination of their number, they tried attacking the creature head on to see the melee attacks in action and test how close they could get to killing it on that situation– although the last option did have a few near-casualties, so they tended to veer away from that approach– but each plan had one underlying goal.
Don’t get hit by the shock wave. No matter what.
And this goal was reached successfully almost every single time. There were a few close calls, as they expected there to be— there were times where they heard the shockwave echo through the cave just barely after making it out, times where the vines were barely inches from catching one of their wrists or ankles (usually George, who would freak out over the sensation every single time). There was one specifically scary time where Sapnap had tripped over one of the vines that had slithered across the floor and George had to run back to catch them, ending up with both of them almost being caught in the vibrations. Luckily, they’d still managed to make it out unscathed, apart from Sapnap’s bruised knee and George’s exaggerated grumpiness at having to “put himself in danger to save you, idiot” as he so eloquently put it, but the most important thing to all of them was that they felt confident in their new set of skills.
They decided to take two more days to practice, to really hone in on their strategies, before scheduling a rematch manhunt with Jimmy for the end of that week.
And that day, the second to last day of practice, is precisely when Dream and George decided to put their revenge plan into action. They were determined to subject Sapnap and Bad to the same fate that both of them had been so cruelly subjected to the previous time.
The practice started off relatively simple– take off running, collect resources, craft weapons and armor, mentally map out any strategies, so on and so forth– and seemed to be just a normal day of manhunt practice. Around forty five minutes in, however, is when the hunters finally caught up to Dream and saw him at the opening of a cave.
This could only mean one thing, and before they’d even hit the one hour mark, all four of them had made it down to the entrance of the Warden’s lair, the three hunters stealthily following behind Dream as he tiptoed in. They each took small steps forward as the other man came closer to the middle of the room, assuming it was safe to watch him from the same distance as each other time, right at the cusp of the dropoff of the cave floor.
“Are we ready to go?” Sapnap whispered, staring sharply forward into the room. “Do we have everything we need?”
“I think so,” Bad replied, whispering as well, squeezing his hand around the hilt of the half broken axe he held. He seemed to debate on switching it out, before smiling softly and turning the weapon in his hands, deciding it would do just fine. “We each have weapons, I think we’re all full on hunger and HP, we have armor… I have a really good feeling about this one, guys,” He said positively, extending his smile to the other two next to him, and both of them looked back at him and smiled softly as well.
“Hm…” George turned his head back first, leaning over Bad’s shoulder to see into the cave, letting his hand gently rest on Sapnap’s arm to keep himself steady. He shifted his eyes a few times; between sensors, up to the stalactites on the ceiling, across the walls, moving his head side to side along with his intense scanning of his surroundings. Sapnap and Bad simply assumed he was searching for the Warden, as George had a tendency to prefer knowing exactly where his enemy was when he was about to strike it, but George knew what he was actually searching for. Seconds later, he seemed to find it.
He locked eyes with Dream, who had turned to face them just subtly enough that it wouldn’t be obvious but that George would know to bring his gaze over. They held eye contact, and the cue was given. A quick nod of his head, and a swipe on the tip of his nose with his index finger.
It was time. Dream was ready. George would push forward.
“Hey, can I go in last this time?” He asked softly, leaning back and grabbing his bow out of its holder. “We’ve been trying out all different orders but I, uh… wanna practice shooting at it a bit from the back. My aim has been kinda trash the last few practice rounds and I think it might help.”
“Yeah, of course!” Bad assured quickly, an understanding nod and smile following it, “Practice is practice, right, Gogy? No better time than now. Okay, uh, Sap, why don’t you go first, then? I’ll cover your back and stay between you two, you stay on Dream, George stays on the Warden. Good?”
“Sounds good,” Sapnap replied, gripping his newly crafted axe between his fists and waiting for the opportunity to strike.
“Call it, Sap,” Bad whispered, and Sapnap nodded, counting down from three and whispering a giddy ‘now!’ as they scrambled in.
Immediately, there was chaos.
“Oh, Dream!” Sapnap yelled when Dream’s head flew over to look at them. Both boys sprung into action, drawing their weapons and aiming them towards each other.
As the other two fought, Bad and George watched carefully from a distance, and Bad turned around just in time to see George ready his bow and fire an arrow at the Warden before turning back around to keep an eye on Sapnap and Dream. The arrow hit, striking the monstrous creature right in the shoulder, and it immediately whipped around towards them. George’s eyes widened as he watched the creature take three booming steps towards them, and it seemed that no one else was noticing it’s movements.
Perfect.
“Bad,” George spoke softly, still keeping his eyes on the Warden. He saw a sensor out of the corner of his eye, watching as it started to glow and vibrate slightly. He got no response. “Bad?” He said again, slightly louder this time, turning his head towards Bad but keeping his eyes still. Again, nothing, and he flicked his eyes to follow the direction of his head and saw Bad holding onto his axe like he was ready to jump in at any moment, completely distracted from the creature they were fighting. The sounds from the sensors were louder now. It was time. “BAD!” He yelled, catching not only Bad’s attention, but Dream and Sapnap’s as well. The fight paused, with their weapons colliding between them and scraping against each other, and suddenly all eyes were on George. “Bad– guys, look!” George said, as frantic as he could muster, pointing at the Warden who was very obviously preparing to send out the shockwave.
“Oh shit,” Sapnap muttered, realizing they were all pretty much perfectly in the middle of its range, and they did not have a lot of time to get out of it. He dropped his weapon, making Dream’s slip out of his hand as well, both of them clattering to the ground and echoing through the cave, only making it more apparent where they were. “Fuck–“ He let out, and he was cut off when there was a sudden arm around his shoulders and another whipping him around, and suddenly his back was against Dream’s chest. “FUCK–“ He yelled again, before clamping his lips shut, trying to be quieter so the Warden wouldn’t focus on him.
“Shhhh,” Dream whispered, and slowly stepped backwards with Sapnap in his grip, towards the wall of the cave and away from the Warden’s line of sight, narrowly avoiding one of the vines that had begun creeping up on the floor between their feet. Sapnap let Dream pull him away, gently holding onto Dream’s wrist to stay close to him, watching Bad and George to make sure they were safe as well.
George had lowered his bow, still glancing between Bad and the Warden, before he gently tapped Bad’s arm with the tip of the weapon. Bad looked over at him, and George began walking backwards in the opposite direction, motioning for Bad to follow. They took a few steps back, hoping desperately to make it out as they watched the Warden take a massive, powerful breath in. Everything seemed fine…
Until Bad tripped on one of the vines, which then wrapped itself around his ankle and kept him tethered to the ground, right in the center of the cave, right as it had done to George the first time.
Or, more accurately… George had tripped him first. If the rest just kind of fell into place, that wasn’t George’s fault, was it?
“BAD, NO–“ Sapnap yelled, but Dream used his free hand to slap it over his mouth, tightening his grip on his shoulders as he squirmed nervously in his grip. “MM– HM?!”
“Shut the fuck up,” Dream whispered in his ear, making him groan and pull at Dream’s wrists, but he held strong. “You don’t want it to come over here too, do you? You have to be quiet,” He explained, earning a whine and a roll of Sapnap’s eyes, but a nod nonetheless.
“NO!” Bad also yelled, before biting down on his bottom lip to keep quiet, looking up at the warden as he pulled at the vine around his leg uselessly.
Then, as if the scene moved in slow motion, all four heads turned to the creature as it let out the bone chilling, ear piercing shriek they were all very familiar with and very much dreading. And, without any shadow of a doubt, it was headed straight for BadBoyHalo.
“Oh, god,” Dream mumbled, and Sapnap made a small noise of sympathy behind Dream’s hand, and they both watched Bad’s sudden reaction as the wave hit him.
“AH–“ He squealed, slamming his hands over his ears to block out the noise before immediately curling in on himself as soon as it became quieter. “Oh, nohoho!”
“Bad?” George called out, taking a tentative step closer to the boy on the cave floor. “Are you okay?”
“NOHO, Geohohorge, I’m nohohot okahahay!” Bad giggled out, yanking at his trapped ankle once more, able to finally pull it out of where the vine was previously wrapped around it. The tingling moved up his torso and down his legs, reaching his knees and making him tense his legs, curling them up towards his chest even further. “Ah–! Nohoho!” He continued laughing through his protests, shaking his head wildly as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. The tingles spread over to his hips, circling around his hip bones, shooting down the backs of his thighs, swirling the backs of his knees. He kicked his legs out, scraping the heels of his shoes against the floor and trying to shake the unbearable ticklish feeling from his legs, but it didn’t budge at all. He curled his hands around his hips, squeezing tightly, trying to press hard enough to dispel the tickles there as well, but once again, they didn’t budge. In fact, pressing in with his fingers only made the sensation grow more fierce, tingling in the spots his fingers pressed into and feeling like a continuous squeezing into the most deeply sensitive areas around his hips, making him scream out in another round of helpless laughter. “OH GOHOHOHOSH–“
“Bad!” Sapnap yelled, yanking Dream’s hand away from his mouth, pushing forward against his hold to try and break free from it. He was successful enough to make it up to Bad, standing the same safe distance from him as George but on the opposite side. Dream quickly followed behind, pressing himself against Sapnap’s back and holding onto him gently, fingers gripping both of his shoulders firmly. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“NOHOHO, yohohohou m-muhuffihinhehead!” Bad scolded through his laughter, squealing and arching his back as the sensation spread to his tummy. “Ihihit juhust tihihickles!”
“I just wanted to be sure!” Sapnap defended, shrugging his shoulders, smiling when Dream’s arm came to wrap back around him.
“Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on…” George interrupted, holding his hand out in front of him as if waiting for a cue. Seconds later, all four boys heard another set of booming footsteps, and they watched in horror as the Warden turned back to them once again, opening its terrifying mouth. “Oh, Sapnap…” George teased as he stepped back again, out of the Warden’s shock range once again.
“Wh-what?” Sapnap muttered nervously, tightening his fists by his sides, ready to break out of Dream’s grasp again if he needed.
“Oh, no, Sap… I think the Warden is looking for a second target…” Dream whispered in Sapnap’s ear, holding tighter as he began squirming
“Oh fuck, no, nononono–“ He tried to take a step backwards, then forwards, then to either side, but Dream just held him more firmly in place. “NO! No, no, Dream, please–“ Sapnap whined, gasping when he heard the creature suck in a breath, grabbing Dream’s wrists and pulling as hard as he could. “DREAM, come on, let go, you have to let go, you HAVE TO–“
“Let go? Alright!” Dream said, letting go at the very last second and pushing Sapnap forward as he ran backwards toward the wall again. Sapnap squealed as he was pushed, losing his balance and falling onto his knees barely a few feet away from Bad, who was still giggling and kicking from the residual tingles.
Then, just as dreadful and horrifying as the first screech, another mind blowing shriek emitted from the Warden, and Sapnap didn’t even need to question who it was heading for before the overwhelming tickling spread through every nerve ending in his entire body.
“NOHOHOHO, FUHUCK–“ Sapnap yelled, wrapping his arms around himself, grabbing onto his opposite shoulders and holding tightly as he scrunched up his face to try and hide his reactions.
Unfortunately for him, this did not go over well with Dream and George, who were back over by the two of them in seconds.
“Aww, Sappy, what’s wrong?” Dream asked, his tone obviously condescending, and Sapnap would’ve taken him out at the knees if he wasn’t preoccupied. He groaned instead, making both boys chuckle, and George took another step closer to Bad, now close enough that his leg was resting right against Bad’s shoulder.
“C’mon, Sapnap, don’t fight it. We’ve both been through it before, we know how excruciating this feels. Why can’t you be more like Bad, huh?” He said, gesturing to the boy who was still curled up and laughing beside him, much softer now, as the tickles had migrated to his neck, and the base of his tail and horns– all spots which melted him almost instantly. “He’s having the time of his life over here, just look at his tail swaying! He loves it!”
“Oh gohohohosh, Geohorge, plehehehease–“ Bad whined, covering his face in embarrassment at being called out, but his tail didn’t stop swaying and he didn’t stop melting into the leftover tickles. “Ihihit tihihickles so bahahahad, Gohogy– hehe– plehehease, plehease mahahake ihit stohohohop!” He leaned into George, his forehead colliding with George's thigh as he wrapped his arms around his leg for comfort, hugging tightly. George chuckled, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, but he let his hand drop to Bad’s hood and lightly rub the crown of his head with his thumb, soothing him through the end of the attack.
“It’s almost over, Bad, you can stick it out, we promise,” Dream reassured, making Bad nod softly against George’s leg and squeeze him tighter. He chuckled slightly, before leaning down to speak to Sapnap again. “As for you, my baby boy…”
“Fuhuck ohoff!” Sapnap pushed out through gritted teeth, shaking his head.
“As for you, the fun has only just started.”
“Shuhuhut uhuhup!” Sapnap whined, unable to bite back his laughter any longer. The tingles spread down his legs, sparking sporadically over his thighs and the jutting bones of his ankles inside his boots, before spreading more prominently up his torso.
Right under his arms.
“Oh– GOHOHOHOD, NOHOHO!” Sapnap protested, his voice rising in pitch and laughter growing more frantic. He gripped his shoulders even tighter, pinching his elbows in towards his sides, curling forward and trying anything he could think of to rid himself of the maddening tickling sensation in his armpits.
“What’s wrong, buddy?”
“Ihihihit wohohon’t STOHOHOP!” Sapnap whined, desperately shaking his head. “Mahahahake ihihit stohohop!”
“Aww, Sap, I’m sorry,” Dream sympathized,genuinely understanding how torturous it was to feel a tickling sensation that was literally impossible to stop. “The only way to make it stop is to ride it out.”
“F-fuhuhuhuck…” Sapnap whimpered, his laughter calming down for a few seconds before a new round began again. Only this time, it was caused by Dream reaching down and grabbing his elbows– pretty harshly, if Sapnap said so himself– and began forcing Sapnap’s arms away from his sides and up in the air. “NAHAHAHA– nohohoho, noho! No, nonono, NOHOHO, DREHEHEHEAM–“ Sapnap complained, pulling at his arms as hard as he could manage, but between being weakened from fighting, as well as from laughing so hard, it didn’t work very well.
“Relax, Sap!” Dream scolded, standing up straighter to pull Sapnap up with him, making the younger boy squeal and arch his back. He shook his head frantically, his eyes squeezed shut and nose scrunched, squirming wildly through desperate laughter. The more Dream pulled his arms up, and the longer he held them there, the stronger the tingles grew under his skin. The sensation was vicious, swirling in undetermined shapes and swirls in the hollows of his underarms, up and down his top ribs, over his chest and up to his neck, and then settling despicably back under his arms.
It was torture. He wasn’t sure how any of the other three even made it out alive.
“STOHOHOP, PLEHEHEHEASE!” Sapnap pleaded, losing any remaining strength he had to pull at his arms and only lightly shifting them now to see if he could loosen Dream’s strong grip. “FUHUHUCK– STOHOP!”
“You know I can’t do that, Sap. It’s not anyone here that’s tickling you. You just gotta suck it up and wait it out, it’s almost over.”
“Shuhuhut uhuhup!” His cheeks burned, and he had no doubts that he was bright red, wanting nothing more than to hide his face somehow, but Dream simply would not let him go. “DREHEHEAM, gehehehet ohohoff mehehehe!” He whined through his laughter. The sensation was filling slightly, and the burn in his chest from laughing so hard was calming, but the feeling was still unbearable, ticklish enough that it kept his squeaky giggles up.
“Hmm… maybe if you surrender and say I win.”
“Yohohohohou wihihihin! Yohou wihihin, you wihin, juhuhust– plehehehease!” Sapnap nodded along with his words, immediately pressing his arms to his sides and wrapping them around himself when Dream loosened his grip and let go. He stayed like that, curled up and hugging himself and hiding as much as he could manage, as the tickling started to fade away. He breathed heavily, residual giggles and squeaks making their way out every so often as he calmed down. He let out a whine after a few minutes of this, falling onto his side before rolling onto his back and throwing his arms over his face in embarrassment.
“Aww, Sap,” Dream cooed, slowly sitting down next to the boy, crossing his legs. “Is someone a little flustered?”
“Shuhut the fuck up,” Sapnap replied, dropping one hand next to his head while the other rubbed at his eyes, resting his palm over them after. “That was soho awfuhul.”
“Aww,” Dream cooed again. He gently took Sapnap’s hand and pulled it back, revealing his flushed face and sleepy, slightly teary eyes. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of Sapnap’s knuckles, before shifting over to pull Sapnap’s head into his lap, gently carding his fingers through his messy hair to help him relax. “I know, angel, it’s pretty bad, isn’t it?”
“Sooo bad.”
“Mhm, poor thing. But you’re okay now, right? And so is Bad, aren’t you, Bad?”
“Hm?” The older boy perked up at the mention of his name, lifting his head up from George’s shoulder– Dream gathered that George had sat down and let him rest there while he was distracted with Sapnap, slightly embarrassed that he was too preoccupied to notice that– and smiling at Dream kindly. “Yeah, I’m great,” Bad confirmed, placing his head back against George and letting him continue to rub gently at the base of his horns like he’d been doing to soothe him the entire time.
“Good. See? You’ll be okay, Sapnap,” Dream reassured, earning a hum and a smile from the youngest laying in his lap. “How about we all go back to the house and relax, okay? We still have another day of practice before the real manhunt. Plus, I think you both deserve a nap after that.”
“God, yes, please, I am exhausted,” George replied, smiling giddily at Dream when he scoffed at him.
“I meant the two that were just tickled into oblivion, idiot,” He replied, earning a soft giggle from Bad and an immediate whiny protest from Sapnap. “C’mon. Let’s head up,” Dream said with a chuckle, gently patting Sapnap’s cheek before helping him to stand up.
He let the smaller boy cling to him as they walked, making sure George and Bad were following, as they all made their way out of the cave and back to their base to unwind and prepare for the next day.
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 2 months
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Love the song you posted! And love that it's entirely possible that Dorothy loves it since she def would've heard it, and a lot of the songs she likes in canon are older. How did you come across it
I know, right?? It's so sweet, I adore it!!
I was looking for some 1940s songs for a personal project of mine a while back, and when I stumbled into this little gem I was immediately reminded of Dorothy. There's something about the general atmosphere of the song, that wistful dream-like quality it has, that just *screams* Dorothy to me. We all know she's got a somewhat rough, disillusioned exterior, but she's a big softie at heart -- she doesn't believe she'll ever get that dream-like romance, but she still yearns for it! She just wants the chance to give all the love she's capable of giving to someone who will give it back to her!!
And I mean -- look at those lyrics!!
I can see No matter how near you'll be You'll never belong to me But I can dream, can't I?
I'm aware My heart is a sad affair There's much disillusion there But I can dream, can't I?
Can't I adore you? Although we are oceans apart I can't make you open your heart But I can dream, can't I?
I feel like this applies both to young!Dorothy and the early stages of her marriage and to canon!Dorothy and her general attitude towards love (*especially*, but not only, in the context of the Golden Wives).
This has been talked about extensively on here, so I'm really not saying anything new, but it's pretty clear that Dorothy did do her best to be a loving wife to Stan, during their 38 years together. Whether this is because she actually loved him or because she felt that it was her duty to be a good wife to him can be debated (personally I feel like it's a bit of a mixture of the two, if that makes sense), but I think it's canon that she went above and beyond for him. Even just the fact that she stayed with him for 38 years through cheating, lying, horrible mistreatment, financial issues, etc etc is proof enough that she really did whatever she could to love him, imho -- and all of this without ever being loved back. There's several moments in the series where Stan shows a modicum of decency and she all but melts because of it (see e.g. S4E10 Stan Takes A Wife), and you can just tell that she's been surviving on these crumbs for all her life, hoping and praying that this time, surely, it will last. I can't make you open your heart, but I can dream, can't I? Yeah.
And then -- canon!Dorothy. She's obviously disillusioned when it comes to life in general and love specifically; she puts herself out there, and she can be pretty impulsive at times (her reaction to John Neretti in S6E22 What A Difference A Date Makes never fails to make me laugh), but she has the hardest time believing that good things will last. Her heart is a sad affair. Take for example what she says to Glen in S1E14 That Was No Lady:
"You know, every time you tell me you love me, I turn around to see who you're talking to. I can't believe it."
That's an underlying theme every time she has a serious relationship with someone she likes: she can't believe it's happening. Is that any wonder, considering the marriage she lived through?
Finally -- the Golden Wives. Or any Dorothy ship that involves one of the other Girls, really. All of my points above still stand, and there's the added complexity of Dorothy grappling with her sexuality and being certain that Rose and/or Blanche couldn't possibly love her back, no matter how close they are as friends. Because -- of course they couldn't! They both had husbands they loved with all their hearts! They both have active and vibrant love lives with men! And she's just Dorothy -- tired, sad, Dorothy, always too tall and too brash and not feminine enough and just not enough to be loved back. What could the other Girls find in her? No matter how near you'll be, you'll never belong to me. But she's Dorothy, she's a bleeding heart, and so she can't help but dream, in the hidden corners of her soul. You get what I mean?
Oh, anon, I'm sorry -- this turned into a bit of a ramble, but I just love this song so much and I think it fits Dorothy so well!! Add to this the fact that it came out in 1949 (canonically the year she married Stan) and it all becomes even more painful to me :') I wouldn't be surprised if she had a soft spot for this song!
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orionsangel86 · 5 months
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Are there anythings that you would have changed about The Sandman?
The show or the comic?
Plenty of things I'd change about the comic. As great as the story is, it is a product of its time and there are some underlying messages whether intentional or not that are inappropriate and fucked up and don't really belong such as:
The racism towards black women implied to be cursed to die violently when linked to Morpheus in some way following the Nada situation.
In fact the whole Nada story is pretty gross. When she thinks that by cutting her hymen she'll remove her virginity to put Dream off her, but then its stated that healing her hyman doesnt restore her lost virginity... like first of all. No. Second of all - shoving a rock up your vag does NOT remove your virginity lets not spread the message that it does.
The way Dream comes across a bit rapey in the Nada story overall and its not made clear how much influence Desire has in that.
The inherent misogyny which is typical of 80s/90s comics but in particular the violence towards women and overt sexualisation of women. Whether for shock value or not, its just not necessary.
The implied message that depressed and suicidal people should just kill themselves and everything will be better once they are gone.
The idea that a person who is depressed can be replaced by a better good version of themselves and even their family and friends will just treat that person as the new them. The implication that the depressed person isnt valued and must instead conform to the responsibilities and burdens of the system they are trapped in - rather than changing the system.
The concept that the moon is inherently transphobic and that witchcraft is transphobic just irks me as a pagan person- like yeah there are huuuuge problems in the community and the whole divine feminine and fucking womb magic bullshit is all over it but I really really hate how Sandman perpetuates that myth and indicates its the goddess that encourages that view and not asshole closed minded people. The moon isnt fucking transphobic FFS.
Everything about Gwen and Hobs relationship in Sunday Mourning. Its problematic AF and I hope I don't need to explain why.
Not a fan of the portrayal of Loki and Sigyn. Its too black and white for such a complex myth.
That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors which I loathe with every fibre of my being.
Even with all these points I want to caveat this by saying that I love these comics. I KNOW that a lot of this is subjective and open to interpretation. These things have many shades of grey to them. I adore the comics in so many ways but that doesn't mean they dont have their issues. I know people are emotionally connected to these comics and this criticism isnt meant as an attack on them.
For the show, well tbh I think its practically perfect, but a couple of niggles:
That fucking awful reaping joke in Collectors - can't BELIEVE they kept that in. I mute my TV at that moment so I don't have to hear it every time.
Hob's slave trade ties - They needed clarity here and should have kept the regret in 1889 more obvious. I understand why they changed it but I think that topic should have been thought through better.
There were complaints I read about how black characters and black men in particular seem to disproportionately suffer violent deaths. I know this was unintentional and a simple matter of open casting for extras and minor characters which is a GOOD thing, but sometimes casting should be less blind, and more considered where minorities are concerned.
Some of the dialogue in Johanna Constantine's episode is clunky - but that only bothers me because I've watched it 284929294787 times and have it memorised.
Despair was handled poorly. It wasnt great rep for fat bodies (like me) and she comes across so weak and submissive to Desire. Which she just isn't at all in the comic. Thankfully it looks like they really did take that criticism to heart and made positive changes in Dead Boy Detectives. She was fabulous in her cameo in that.
Not enough gay sex. The 1 star homophobic reviews really overexaggerated on that and left me disappointed. There should have been at least 1 gay or lesbian sex scene in every episode. Do better season 2. Do better. (For legal reasons this one is a joke - Sandman is a goldmine of queer rep and should be on every queer fans watch list 100 times over)
There you go. No piece of media is perfect. There can always be changes and improvements, but the Sandman is a story that really does fit the description of masterpiece. I think my ideas of things that need to change are generally matters of framing. I dont think the comic story should be drastically changed in the show, I don't think it should be given a different ending. Its a tragedy after all, but tragedy can come in many forms and perhaps the story can be adjusted so the tragedy isnt so harsh. But anyway. This is all just my opinion and as with all things i'm sure there will be plenty of people who disagree with me.
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sugxrslushy · 2 years
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ᴅᴀʏ ᴠ || ᴇᴅɢɪɴɢ
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🩸ᴀ/ɴ: requested by @tardiiart my loveeee!! super excited because I got an excuse to write for Robin and decided to go with my favorite one and write her when she worked for Baroque works, I hope you enjoy this ahhh <33
🩸ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟꜱ: NSFW MINORS DNI//Robin x gn!reader//warnings: Dom!Robin, edging, pegging, bits of praise, misuse of devil fruit, punishments
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“Oh come on, there’s no need to cry dear.” Robin tuts under her breath, petting your hair before tangling her fingers in your locks to pull your head back with a sharp tug. Yelping loudly, you can feel your eyes become more glossy by the second as you squirm against her. Her plump lips ghost over the shell of your ear, the brim of her cowboy hat bumping against you. “It’s not like this isn’t your fault.”
Robin thrusts forward sharply, her strap burying itself inside you and you jolt forward with a gasp. You dig your fingers into the hard wood of the desk, fighting to keep yourself up and standing as your legs shake uncontrollably. “M’ sorry.”
“I know you are sweetheart, I know. But a punishment is a punishment.” She whispers against your skin. You knew she was right and you had never been opposed to these types of “punishments”. She was so pretty and you were grasping at straws for any sort of time around her, any sort of physical touch and this was a dream come true. You tried your luck and didn’t come up empty handed but instead you were struggling to grasp your orgasm.
But your heart was bleeding with joy at the situation you found yourself in. She’d been all you could look at since the very day you’d met her, so elegant and put together. You wondered just how well she could take care of you, what she’d look like underneath all the the steely facade and the pretty purple outfit that showed off all the right parts.
It’d felt like hours had been ticking by, Robin knew entirely too well on how to make you come undone. It was almost like her devil fruit wasn’t sprouting other limbs but instead knowing every spot that had you sobbing out, although her devil fruit was doing an excellent job picking you apart. 
It was almost overwhelming, the feeling of her being everywhere was making goosebumps rise on your skin. Hands stroking over your chest, fondling with the flesh there and taking your sensitive nipples between delicate fingers, rolling them and making you scream as a blinding pleasure builds. Another hand clamps over your mouth and Robin clicks her tongue, stilling her movements. The touches to your more intimate parts have disappeared as if the click of her tongue was a call back to reality, the wet dream slipping through your fingers.
“What did I say earlier?” Her voice is silky smooth, despite its underlying intentions it’s laced with the sweetest sugar you could ever be met with, you could almost taste the sweet nectar of her words on your tongue.
“Robin-” You whine out, your brain mush from how many times your orgasm has escaped you. Her hand comes up to tilt your chin towards her, hypnotically blue eyes boring into your sole. You’re clenching around her tight, heart thrumming in your chest with a nervous excitement. 
“What did I tell you to call me?” She says slowly, lips curling up into a smile.
You could collapse to the floor right there, she had you wrapped around her fingers so nicely. She’d been so sweet to you ever since you had first joined Baroque Works, a higher up who’d taken you under her wings. You adored her and every part of you yearned to follow her command. “Miss.” You whisper. 
Miss All-Sunday. How couldn’t you fall in love with her?
“You’re so good, so smart my dear.” She lets go of your jaw, dipping down to press kisses along your neck as her hips rock back around yours. You let out shuddery sighs, relishing in the sweet ecstasy she gave you. “Now what-” She snaps her hips forward to punctuate her word, strap pressing deep and you swear you saw stars. “Did I tell you earlier?”
It sits on the tip of your tongue but the consistent snapping of her hips keeps knocking it from your mouth, instead whimpering and whining as you cling desperately to the desk and drool slips from your mouth. “Y-you told me I- ah! I can’t cum!” You grit your teeth and whine under her unforgiving pace.
“Until?”
“Until I’m good and y-you say I can.” Your knees buckle and you fall down against the desk, Robin leaning against your back as she finally slows, favoring long and deep strokes instead. You can’t control how loud your moans are, a hand no longer at your mouth to silence them and you can’t imagine how much trouble you both would be in if a certain someone were to overhear this.
Her hair tickles your shoulders when she leans down to kiss your shoulder blade, hands sliding across your arms to interlock her fingers with your own. “Are you going to be good so I can make you feel nice? Because I wouldn’t want to have to start all over again.” 
“Yes!” She could be asking you to do anything, no matter how obscene or absurd and you swear you would’ve listened to her. Maybe your brain was finally becoming mush, the only coherent thought was one of lust with how bad you wanted her to fuck you with all she’s got. It only becomes worse when she laughs and tilts your head again to kiss you on the lips, the threat of you coming completely undone all the more real. 
“You’re just too cute, let me make you feel good then.” You can feel her pick up her speed again and all your resolves are beginning to disappear, letting yourself be pleasured by the women above you. 
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capybaraonabicycle · 8 months
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Hiya! For the writers truth & dare ask game, I'd love to know about..
🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?
🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)
🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)
🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them
I'm btw planning on reading more Righting Reflex in the evening, I just really need to get at least one and a half more tasks done today for my portfolio. Sending you much love 💚🦎
Thank you, love!! This is way too long, so I will put it under a 'read more'
🕯️On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?
Maybe a 3? Like, I don't hate it but I'm not too fond of it either. I enjoy reading what I have written more often than not and I like putting [GERMAN WORD] or [TBD - WRITE SMTH ABOUT XY] ever so often while writing, but I don't enjoy changing the story afterwards much. I rarely change big things, usually only a scene or two and a few expressions. That said, I have to read every scene like 15 times before posting to scour for errors - and I am certain I am missing so many anyway.
🍄Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
Okay, let's go with fugitive Doctor/River. (Did you expect this by any chance? ;) )
You know this bit:
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[ID: two gifs from The Husbands of River Song of River saying "Do you know who you remind me of? My second wife!". end ID]
People have been speculating that she is talking about 13, which I get, definitely. But I want to argue that it is the superior interpretation that she would be talking about the fugitive Doctor (or another incarnation the Doctor has forgotten about but where would be the fun in that?). For the following reasons:
Vibes. This is the important point. River says 12 reminds her of the wife, so they have to be alike-ish. And I feel like 12 and the fugitive Doctor have a certain similarity in their demeanour. I think a big thing is how they hold themselves upright, actually, but also the whole Danny calling 12 an officer when the fugitive Doctor actually is one. Also the underlying kindness both of them possess and the end-life-crisis. They both lose all of their companions (Clara, Bill and Nardole vs Karvanista, Gat and Lee - one lives on but they can never see them again/forget about them, the other two die (or that's what they believe at least) and it is their fault) and I would argue they both are thinking about not regenerating this time. (I reckon the fugitive Doctor does not have a choice though.)
Loss. See the last point. The Doctor loses everything in fotj. Give her her wife, at least, please. Let River bring her some love and companionship <3 13 loses a lot as well but she's got Yaz. Which also leads us to:
Thasmin. Like, you know, if River had been tangibly in the 13th Doctor's life in any way, thasmin would have kissed. 100%. They didn't, so River didn't marry 13, simple as that.
Timelines. River does not know about more faces of the Doctor and well, 13 is older than 12. Of course, she could lie to her and yes, River gets married a little carelessly, so she might have married some John Smith!13. But if she met the fugitive Doctor - who seems very different from the timelord she knows and has no recollection of the Doctor's life, it would be easy for her to draw the conclusion that the Doctor is just some other person going by that name. And the fugitive Doctor would forget about her, of course. There's also a good possibility, River isn't actually married to the Doctor but to Ruth.
Time, Doctor's side. Honestly, 13 just doesn't have enough time to get married to River. Am I still hoping we will get those two on screen (or audio) together? Of course! But 13 is kinda busy, most of the time we either see her with the fam (who don't know River, see lotsd) or very occupied with stuff (like apocalypses or prison).
So, yeah, headcanon: The fugitive Doctor is River's second wife.
(The first is Cleopatra, right? Like Idk if there is canon confirmation but it feels true.)
❄️What's a dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? (also, which character would be involved)
Okay, when I read this question, I thought I wouldn't have any idea. But I have. Several. Lets start. Fics I would will into existence if I could:
Full-length Little VVomen.
I know we won't get the movie, but I'll gladly take it as a novel fic. Just for an explanation: Little VVomen is a parody trailer for a crossover of Louisa May Alcott's Little Women and the horror movie VVitch (I assume, I don't actually know VVitch). And it is glorious. Just -
- If it's about a girl, make sure she's married by the end. - Does it have to be to a man?
lives in my head rent free. I want a full story of Jo March saying gay rights, writing spells and sacrificing innocent men, pretty please <3 And I really, really want to know what's up with the Sean!devil.
This is the trailer btw:
youtube
Anyone write this please? (If I could choose, I'd ask Sean and Sinead who wrote the trailer, but I fear, I am already stretching the definition of fic here and using the authors of the og trailer probably defeats the purpose of this question.)
2. Strax fairytale!! written by you :)
Strax as a fairytale protagonist is SUCH an inspired idea and I am hoping very much that you will get round to it some day. But I can't really tell you anything about that that you don't know better yourself.
Or, maybe, I can: I have become kinda enarmoured with the 'Strax as the faithful Johannes' idea, I have always adored that tale, mainly for the tragedy and extremely strong friendship theme. Like, it is so clear that the king's most important relationship is his friendship to his servant. The princess is lovely but they barely know each other, yet. And I think there is SO much potential to improve the abduction scene and the ending. So, yeah, I have been turning that around in my head a bit.
But no matter which tale you will pick, if you ever write a fic for him, I am sure I will absolutely love it!
(also, like, I could mention any of the fairytale ideas you have told me about, here)
3. Heather is an integral part of s10 by @marvellouspinecone
You remember that genius powerpoint Pine made, I assume? Wouldn't it be spectacular if someone wrote that as a fic for me to read? I would choose Pine as the author because she understands the vision best, of course. But, like, I am so grateful already that the powerpoint exists for me to read and dream about :)
(Hi, Pine, not sure you want to read the whole post, but you might see the tag. This is not a request, please don't understand it as such, because that would be incredibly impudent on my part. This is just fancy ideas of mine and a praise to your vision <3)
4. Tenteen is played by Jo Martin by DiscipleOfBrad
So, I actually enjoyed the 60th anniversary (at least wild blue yonder, that much very much had a premise of my type of dw ep) but I still believe we could have done better than bringing back dt for the umpteenth time. (Listen, he is lovely, don't get me wrong, and I liked '14' too, but just - )
I have written a post about why I think making the fugitive Doctor's face return would have been a more interesting choice and I would still love to read it as a fic.
I don't really care whether it would be a simple retelling of the three eps with her instead of tenteen or a completely different tale. I WOULD like to see Donna though (because can you imagine?? Also that scene where Donna just acts like she knows the Doctor all of a sudden? When the Doctor doesn't even really know herself but feels like she should?) and if we could spring for some Karvanista on top, that'd be ace <3
I would give this one to DiscipleOfBrad because I trust them to write a convincing fugitive Doctor. I really enjoyed her in The Cul-de-Sac (which btw I can highly recommend if you'd like some soft thasmin and an intriguing premise. There is a heavy side of whouffaldi, though, I'm not sure whether that is your thing?).
🌿Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity (or energy⚡if you like)
I feel like it always helps me to get myself into a 'I can't do anything else now anyway' situation? That's why trainrides are so good for writing. I just need to be in a situation where I can't take care of more pressing matters, so it won't feel overwhelming if I don't take care of them?
Like, I will rather scroll tumblr than work on my thesis but I won't write. But if I am away from wifi, I might not be able to work on the thesis anyway, so I will easier find the peace of mind (and hence energy and creativity) to write?
Idk maybe that's just me. Maybe it's not working at all either. Honestly, I don't quite know where energy, creativity or motivation to write come from. They just knock and then they're there.
🏜️What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
Well, obviously, I adore long comments, who doesn't? But just saying 'long' feels both greedy and like cheating, so let's talk content.
I think, what excites me most in a comment is when I can sense the enthousiasm? It doesn't necessarily have to be for the content of my fic, I had someone write 'YOU MADE A CROSSOVER FOR THESE TWO FANDOMS?? THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE!!" and it made me smile for a day. Just, I write those things because I love the characters and themes and if someone shows that they share this passion? That's community, that's what we're searching for, isn't it?
But also I got a comment today that was just a bunch of predictions about the next chapter of my current fic and that felt amazing! Generally, when people notice things or I feel they have been paying attention, that is SO GOOD. That's probably also why we love long comments. I mean, generally, every second you spend reading the comment is gold, so the longer the comment the more seconds there are, but also a long comment will usually go into detail. Make predictions. Notice things. Talk about how they perceive the characters and why something made sense/surprised them. Quote your fic back to you. And like, all of that is so much fun. It's like reading your story again, remembering why you wrote it. It's the best feeling in the world.
I very dearly love comments.
🌸Do you have any pets? If you do, post some pictures of them
I don't 😭 The place where I live doesn't allow pets and besides, I am away a lot and not planning on staying in this town much longer anyway. So, yeah, it'd be difficult to have a pet. I really, really want to though. Preferably a cat but I'd be so happy with a dog as well. Or a turtle? Or bunny? Or a lizard? I think you could make me happy with almost any mammal and many types of reptiles <3 (not much into insects or fish though. And I feel weird about birds in cages.)
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bts-0t-7 · 1 year
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Mountain of Threads
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Pair: Jungkook x dancer F Reader
Summary: You discover a powerful connection and love between you and Jeon Jungkook. Through shared moments of vulnerability and exploration, you embark on a journey that transcends boundaries - creating new stories and a forever-intertwined bond.
Genre: Fluff, Idolxreader
Chapter Warnings: None
WC: 662
The air crackled with anticipation as you stood on stage, the spotlight illuminating your every move. Like the water, your body movements flowed together as one. As the music swelled, you danced with passion, pouring your heart into art. And in the crowd, Jungkook watched, his gaze filled with awe and admiration. The wonder on his face - mouth gaping wide open, staring at your entrancing movements - not moving a single inch.
After the performance, you caught him in the back rooms - a shy smile tugging at the edge of his lips. He hesitantly approached you, speaking with sincerity. "You are a talented dancer, Y/N. That dance was really a masterpiece."
A blush crept up your neck as you ducked your head, replying, "Thank you, Jungkook. Coming from you, it really means a lot."
Jungkook's eyes sparked with a mixture of humility and determination. "The dedication you put into your craft is amazing. Amazing and obvious and really inspiring." His eyes grew bigger as he gasped. "I should go write songs now then!"
His infectious laughter spurred your own and you laughed along, enjoying the easy-going air between you two. At that moment, a connection formed - through shared dreams and the pursuit of excellence. It was a recognition of each other's passions, dreams, and hope - a deep understanding that they have the power to shape lives.
As days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, you found yourself spending more and more time with Junkook. Through shared practices and late-night conversations in the convenience store, you discovered a one-of-a-kind kindred spirit - one that relays the unspoken language of your hearts.
Together, both of you trekked up the mountain of growth and explorations, pushing each other to reach new heights. There were many moments of frustration and exhaustion - many questionable times on whether this connection is worth the fight - but they were always eclipsed by the unwavering support and encouragement you received from Jungkook.
Late one night, standing on the rooftops of his house, the both of your gazed at the stars. The both of you were silent for a long while, before Jungkook turned to you, eyes filled with determination and an underlying…fear. “Y/N, I’ve watched you become stronger and more confident every day. Your passion and drive have always inspired me to be a better version of myself.”
Warmth spread through your chest as you smiled at him. “And you, Jungkook. You have also pushed me further even when I think that I have reached my limit, allowing me to explore new boundaries and embrace challenges.” You turned back to look at the stars, continuing, “You truly have an incredible ability to light up a room with your presence.”
Jungkook’s cheeks tinted with a blush as he chuckled. “Thank you, Y/N. Your belief truly means a lot to me.”
At that moment, the world seemed to shrink, leaving just the both of you on the rooftop - a space where dreams collide and love blossoms. Jungkook’s hand reaches out, his fingers gentry intertwining with yours as if to solidify the connection between your souls.
With a bated breadth, you leaned in, lips finding Jungkook’s in a tender kiss. It was a moment that encapsulated all the unspoken emotions swirling between you. It was a dance of vulnerability and trust, a stepping stone toward a love that transcends all boundaries.
From then on, your strings intertwined as your journey continued, hand-in-hand. Through the ups and downs, the peals of laughter and the tears, you discovered a love both so powerful and tender - one that has defined even the most complex emotions in every situation; one that defied expectations and blossomed beyond the confinements of the stage.
In Jungkook’s embrace, you found a partner who would always push you to be the best version of yourself as you would for him. Together, the both of you soar beyond boundaries, embrace the unknown, and continuously create a story that your forever be etched in your hearts.
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darkshrimpemotions · 2 years
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hello!
I would like to ask you something about the show Supernatural. So, I have almost finished watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix and I wanted to watch something else. Would you recommend watching Supernatural? And is watching Supernatural worth it? Could you tell me your face things about the show and your least favorite things? Thank you :)
Hoo boy friend. This is. A complicated question.
I'll start with the easiest parts to answer and work up to the hard parts.
My favorite things about Supernatural?
The characters. The aesthetics of the early seasons. The way folklore and urban legends are utilized in the early seasons. The music. The way the characters get to grow and evolve so much because you get so many years with them. The little details. The themes of found family, resilience, and hope in the face of impossible odds. The incredible coolness and creativity of some of the ideas the writers came up with over the years. The critiques of religion and religious power structures. The road trip format. The way the show, at its best, is utterly unforgettable writing, editing, sound design, music, acting, and set design. Most of the cast. The fandom experience. The fact that nothing ever stays dead and buried, least of all the show that ended over 2 years ago.
My least favorite things about Supernatural?
The inconsistency in the show's quality from season to season and episode to episode. The way side characters are forgotten, killed off, or treated as unimportant. The way the show was never allowed to fully evolve past its season 1 formula.
The lack of representation. The underlying racism, queerphobia, and xenophobia in the show's premise and execution that were unfortunately typical of network television from the early 2000s but that the show never fully unpacked or addressed in much later seasons. The carelessness with which certain writers handled certain character arcs and themes. The way so much of the creativity ends up being wasted potential. The lack of creativity in the monster design. The utter disrespect of that godforsaken ending.
Would I recommend watching Supernatural?
This is where it gets rough. And I'll just say...it depends.
Do you want a silly little show you can just watch, take at face value, and then forget about when the television is off? If so, Supernatural may not be the show for you. I mean you CAN consume it that way, but doing so practically guarantees you are experiencing the worst possible version of it.
Do you want a multi-layered 15-year fever dream of a metatextual hyperfixation that you can really sink your teeth into, analyze, compare show to scripts to writer and actor comments to fandom takes and get something new and contradictory out of every time you revisit it?
Do you want characters who will become like dear friends and break your heart and mend it too? Do you want an unparalleled media experience that is still ongoing and a fandom that verges on unhinged but mostly in a fun way? Do you want to dive headfirst into a show so insane that none of the actors who worked on it can be normal about it to this day?
Do you want context for some of the best goddamn fanfic you will ever read in your life, and the largest ship on AO3 in terms of sheer number of fics for one pairing, literally more fic for this one pairing than you could read in a single human lifetime?
Then yeah. I would highly recommend watching Supernatural.
Is Supernatural worth it?
Well...that depends. In addition to the questions above, consider...How much mess are you willing to put up with from a piece of media? How much lore external to the actual show are you willing to consume in order to have a full understanding of the story? And how unhinged are you prepared to be over a couple white dudes from Kansas and their grumpy-sweet Midwestern angel? How many friends do you want to make over a TV show? How ready are you to hear your existing friends and family beg you to talk about ANYTHING else for a while?
And depending on how you answered all of those questions
...would you like me to send you the mp4 files for the first several seasons? Because the Netflix version edited a lot of the show's original music, and it sucks.
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olivers-cocoapuffs · 1 year
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Ah my favourite he/they
Tumblr decided "ha funny" and sent me out the first time I typed this and I'm pissed off because I was almost done and it was really long. Anyway, let's rewrite all of this
See now I don't remember what I wrote so we're just winging this.
Between that docs disaster and a few other things my day has been underlying terrible. Some voice keeps telling me to count from ten and breathe and all that but it doesn't work. Funny.
Anyway I've got a question, as per custom.
What is a love quote that sets the standard so unbelievably high that not a creature could dream of meeting it?
I definitely worded that better the first time I wrote it
An eye for an eye: I could have a million. But I will say this because hyperfixation.
"I would give you a crown if I could, I would show you the world from the prow of a ship. I would choose you, Zoya, as my general, as my friend, as my bride. I would give you a sapphire the size of an acorn."
Also
("Do you love him because he loves you?")
"I love him as it is a duty I cannot flee." (partial quote)
Trust me to give two because I can.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm a little Zoyalai obessed. It's a good thing! Okay I have issues.
Anyway, I hope I helped flood your inbox.
I'm considering this my daily ask but maybe there will be more. Who knows.
Have a day that makes all other days weep
It did that to me yesterday and I haven’t bothered to try and redo it, so that person just will never know 🫡
AI will be the death of art, Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare, and millions of other artists (Literally any medium) are all ROLLING in their graves. And it’s sad because everyone is capable of art, whether they know it or not.
…Ev. I think you’re forgetting a key piece of information here but. I do love love even if I don’t partake in it romantically. I’m also a simple person. I’m going to say when Percy Jackson. Or when Rick and Mark had that passage in tsats.
we are not only one thing forever. we’re allowed to change at any point in our lives. We don’t have to be stuck with a label someone else assigns us. Gods, we don’t even have to stick to a label we give ourselves
The reason I’ve chosen this is because it shows how much care and love that these two authors have put into the book. Yes it’s educating younger kids on LGBTQIA+ themes but it’s also nice to have a reminder in something as solid as a book. It’s just drenched in the love that the authors have for the story they’ve written, and the world they’ve built, the love between Nico, Piper and Jason, but also the readers and fans who will consume it.
a romantic quote anyway;
I meet you in every dream- and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating in your sweetness -Alexander Hamilton
ignore the fact he had multiple affairs please <3
(Yes I can find love in random shit, it’s kind of my thing at this point)
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bestastrologyservices · 7 months
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How Astrology Consultancy Services Helped Me Banish Depression from My Life
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In today's fast-paced world, where stress and anxiety seem to be constant companions, finding inner peace and happiness can often feel like an elusive dream. For years, I struggled with overwhelming feelings of depression that seemed to cast a shadow over every aspect of my life. Despite trying various conventional methods, nothing seemed to provide the relief I desperately sought.
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In addition to one-on-one consultations, Ganesh Acharya also offers a range of courses and workshops aimed at enhancing self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment. From astrology basics to advanced techniques, his comprehensive curriculum caters to individuals at every stage of their spiritual journey.
Through Ganesh Acharya's Astrology Consultancy Services, I discovered that true healing begins from within. By harnessing the power of astrology, I was able to break free from the shackles of depression and embrace a life filled with positivity and purpose. I am eternally grateful to Ganesh Acharya for guiding me towards the light and helping me rediscover the joy of living.
If you're struggling with depression or seeking guidance in your life journey, I wholeheartedly recommend Ganesh Acharya's Astrology Consultancy Services. Trust in the wisdom of the stars, and let Ganesh Acharya illuminate the path towards your inner peace and happiness.
Certainly!
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Moreover, Ganesh Acharya's Astrology Consultancy Services extend far beyond the confines of traditional therapy sessions. Through innovative online platforms and interactive workshops, he reaches out to a global audience, offering guidance and support to individuals from all walks of life. Whether you're struggling with personal relationships, career challenges, or existential questions, Ganesh Acharya provides invaluable insights to help you navigate through life's complexities with confidence and clarity.
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the-dream-beyond · 1 year
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Episode 11 - The Role of Action in Entrepreneurship with Peter Shallard
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Nik Tarascio 
I'm super excited about this next guest who's just gonna drop a ton of wisdom about the entrepreneurial journey. If you're currently wrestling with questions like how do I get started, it's something that I feel called to do. Or if you're wondering whether you should keep going with what you're currently doing, or you wonder if he should just do something else altogether, I think he's going to help you powerfully navigate those questions and just give you a simple, a simple tactic to go back to every time you're uncertain. I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Welcome to the dream beyond. I'm your host, Nik Tarascio. I'm a co musician and overall seeker of Truth, inspiration, and simply put, how to live the most fulfilling life possible. Growing up surrounded by extremely wealthy and successful people gave me unique and unfiltered perspectives of those who have seemingly made it through on the dream beyond, we're letting you in on what it really takes to achieve your dreams. What happens when it turns out your destination isn't the promised land, you are expecting? How to process the lessons from your past while mapping of course to true fulfillment. Let's get started.
All right, hey, so I'm here with the founder and CEO of commit action, commit action helps business owners double their focus and productivity by providing an accountability coach. He's also the shrink for entrepreneurs. He's have basically over a decade working with founders and venture backed Tech with a client roster that's got a few billion in combined market cap. And, yeah, I mean, ultimately, one of the most extraordinary people in my lives, one of my dearest friends, Peter showered, really happy to have you here, Peter, it's great to talk with you in a more formal format.
Peter Shallard 
Thanks for it. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I'm also a card carrying member of the Black t shirt club. So excited to be riffing with you today. And yeah, thanks for the intro. Yeah, man,
Nik Tarascio 
I was anticipating what your clothing choice would be. So I'll go with that story. That just seems like that'll hold up. So yeah, I think one, I just obviously really appreciate what you do. One with the coaching side, it's obviously something I believe in very much, I've always had a coach, since I was running my own business. And the second thing is, you know, I really appreciated our conversations, when we would just talk about me as an entrepreneur, or the people in our circles, since we hang with a lot of entrepreneurs together. And I'd love to dive into the question of, as you're working with people that have literally everything, right, these are like people, in some cases have hundreds of millions of dollars, or have, you know, billion dollar companies, whatever that is, I'm curious to know about how worthiness shows up in the conversation.
Peter Shallard 
Yeah, so to sort of build on the intro, I've, you know, background in psychology, first business was a brick and mortar therapy practice, I kind of pivot, it's a real long story, we don't need to tell it today. But, you know, I got into working with founders, these, you know, mainly in the tech ecosystem, and those, you know, successful founders. In the venture capital space, they probably the the quickest moving, right, like the most accelerated kind of growth in business, is, you know, what we've seen in the last 2030 years of, you know, where technology combined with venture capital has enabled people to build these companies, you know, these these extraordinary vehicles for value creation, when it does work very, very quickly. It's interesting, because the motivation, like the the underlying motivation to, you know, to go and try to do something like that as an individual right to be like, I, I want to go build something really, really big.
It's an invitation to a bunch of first world problems, right? Like, there isn't a level if you're, if you're the person who's running one of these businesses, and you're successful with it, there isn't a place where you achieve a level of success, that your problems evaporate, and it's all smooth sailing. Right? If anything, I think people who have done this would probably agree, you know, it gets hotter and hotter and new and different ways. And you learn things and master the problems of yesterday. And then you confront the new challenges of tomorrow today. And you keep on like, it's a grind. It's really, really hard work. And so, I think, like any, anything, any conversation about worthiness, to me connects up with motivation, because, you know, there's a lot of people who there's most I think, most human beings out there if they could take care of their material needs in perpetuity, right? If they build something, if they create some economic value, like a business or whatever, enough that they can kind of retire and live the good life, so long as they don't get too caught up on that hedonic treadmill of comparing themselves to the Joneses.
There's a lot of people who would opt out right, who wouldn't, you know, push to build that billion dollar business and keep going. But for the people who do I think that almost universally what's underlying them is, is a pathological in some senses desire to prove something, right like to to show that there's a chip on their shoulder And as you know, there's there's been some research that has shown that is showing that this sort of psychology of chips on shoulders is one of the best predictors of entrepreneurial tendencies in the human population, that entrepreneurs, typically people who are rejected by the system, you know, whether that's because they are immigrants, they don't fit in.
Or it's because they, your neurotypical learners, and like a school system that's designed to produce a certain type of educational outcome for a certain type of neurotypical person or child, right. And so they thought they're outside it and other to buy that. But whatever the experience is, it seems to be that like entrepreneurs, pretty much universally when they're really driven, they have that they have that chip on their shoulder that I think connects really closely to worthiness, right? Like they're rejected by a system and then they choose to reject the system that rejected them.
So there's this kind of like, I think about I don't know if you're a fan of the show, Futurama but there's like some quotes from the robot and that where he's like, Screw this we're gonna have our and we're gonna have Alan thing with strippers and strippers and via, right like, there's like a screwed screwed screw the world, I'm going to build my own company, I'm going to do it the way I want. Maybe not, let's strip is India's but Right. But like, there's gonna be a, there's, there's a sort of a reckoning of like, if the world rejected me, I'm going to take so much control and build my own thing that I can in turn, reject the world, which I think that you see expressed in the like, you know, in the circles, we move in, and like Silicon Valley and New York, people talk a lot about the fuck you money. Fuck you money is represents the opposite end of the spectrum from a worthiness problem, right? Like this at a psychological level, it's the ability to say, your perception of my worth no longer matters.
Nik Tarascio 
I've never thought about it that way. But that makes a lot of sense.
Peter Shallard 
Yeah. So I don't know. That's what I is.
Nik Tarascio 
Is that real, though? Like, have you spent time with anyone that had fucky? Money?
Peter Shallard 
Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, like, I think that the thing that it's nuanced, right, it's not black or white, because it depends who you're saying fuck you to. And there's the it's like the old joke about like, there's, there's always a bigger boat, right? Or, like, there's always a bigger jet. There's always a guy who you can't, you know, you probably shouldn't say fuck you to. But I think that, you know, like people who have people who have achieved a level of material wealth, where there's where they're pretty anti fragile, right? There's very little that can happen that's going to, you know, have to force them to spend their time in a way they don't want to spend or whatever, right?
Like it's usually defined. And amongst the entrepreneurs that I work with, it's usually defined as getting to a point where there's a numbers and AUM, like an assets under management number that like passively produces income at a very reasonable and recession proof withdrawal rate, that like absolutely matches, like a like a top to your income. And yeah, there's loads of people out there who achieved that kind of that kind of position in life. Yeah, and I think for I guess, for many of them, and a particularly many of the even higher achievers who are going beyond who are building these extraordinarily big things. A lot of it is driven by that unworthiness, right, like I need to achieve to solve that problem of not feeling enough. It's the revenge of the nerds. You know, it's, it's not the, in most cases, it's not the captain of the high school football team, who's building this stuff. Right? Who's like driven? Because that guy, he gets enough for a BMW at a beach house? And he's good.
Nik Tarascio 
Well, I'm wondering for you, and I didn't talk much about your story, but you've obviously had this kind of extraordinary journey of starting out in New Zealand, working your way to Australia. And then was New York, the first place you touchdown in the US? Yeah, yep. Yeah. So I mean, it's like what arrived and I'm wondering for you, and your journey, was there. I mean, I'm assuming there was a chip on your shoulder on some level that has driven you to come here and basically school us Americans on how we gotta get our shit together.
Peter Shallard 
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'm also just I'm also just exploiting the phenomenon of American culture and society. What you guys tend to listen more to people who talk with an accent. So that's really why but yeah, I mean, look, I grew up. I grew up in a, in a very small country, New Zealand's about 5 million people. Now it was about four four when I remember as a kid when it crossed over from three point something to four. So very little country, very little market. And, you know, I didn't I didn't start out as an entrepreneur. I started out, you know, as a psychologist, like interested in psychology, and then I became an accidental business owner because the only way to do what I was passionate about was to be self employed.
So I trained as a psychotherapist, I looked at all of the career options available to like a very young person, you know, coming out and as a professional for the first time into that world, and I didn't like any of them. And I thought it would be easier to start my own business and do what I wanted to do. And I was very wrong about that it wasn't easier, it was much harder. And had I known how hard it would be maybe I wouldn't have started. But I but I did, I sort of started a business without realizing I was starting a business. And what I mean by that is like, I was almost like an artisan like, I was like a furniture maker who just wants to make furniture, I just wanted to do psychology. And then I was like, I guess I've people have got to pay me directly for that, if I'm going to do it the way I want to do it. And so that's what I mean by accidental business owner. So, you know, my journey was like, a kind of a funny one of being in love with the psychology. And then slowly realizing that I had to learn to love the business. And it was reluctant at first I kind of didn't want to have to figure out sales and marketing and but then I, you know, then I was hurting, like my business wasn't working. And I had to learn that stuff. And as I started to, it's something I think about all the time, it's, it's easy to be passionate when you're winning. And as I started to learn a few things and try to be a little more entrepreneurial, initially, just because I wanted to do the minimum entrepreneurial activity possible to just do the cool psychology stuff. After a while I got hooked on the game of business, like I started to enjoy, like, being the entrepreneur and figuring out the marketing and the growth and stuff.
And then I just went further and further down that rabbit hole. And I got to do some incredible things. In my, in my career as a consultant, you know, I started working more and more with entrepreneurs and businesses, and becoming simultaneously more interested in business and entrepreneurship. And eventually the market just wasn't big enough. So I spent some I ended up spending time in Australia, which is like New Zealand's Big Brother, we've kind of got a Canada us sort of type relationship, but it's a bigger market. And, and then I started writing, like the crazy thing that changed my life was I started writing on the internet about about Ben's business and psychology at a time when no one was doing that. And I got a real early mover's advantage.
And it caused me to be ranked in Google for all sorts of mental health keywords plus the word entrepreneur. You know, I didn't predict this, I didn't intend for this to happen, I got pretty lucky in a lot of ways. But at that time, this is about 2006 or seven, there were a lot of people and founders in Silicon Valley, who were trying to solve their mental health problems, the way they solve all their problems, which is by googling for solutions late at night. And so they started finding men and asking for consults. And so, you know, you and I met because one of those people googled and found me and booked a consult with me.
And then we built an incredible rapport. And he introduced me and referred a bunch of people, I built this amazing network in the US. And so by the time I was traveling over there, like a lot, I had this incredible network and and in 2011, I made the decision to you know, jump in full time, I was like, I'm gonna go see what I can build out here. And so kind of brought myself and my practice my client, you know, my clients were already all American for the most part. And I that's when I moved, moved to New York City in 2011. Yeah. So it's
Nik Tarascio 
interesting to hear like, and I've known this about you, but I've never really asked the question is like, how do you fit these two things in because on one hand, you are running a business, and it's like a high growth, really involved business with commit action. But then you're also in the process of, you know, you talked about being an artist and I see that you truly do love psychology and you love supporting the people that are on this journey of entrepreneurship. How do you fit those two things together in your life?
Peter Shallard 
What's changed a lot now because so when I first to continue that story, when I first moved over, my full time job was being the shrink for entrepreneurs, my work week looked like doing the maximum number of billable hours to support the clients and I had like really overwhelming demand, to before I kind of burnt out and couldn't do anything else. And I do a bit of writing, I blogged a little bit about business psychology stuff to kind of keep my profile building and that was my life. And you know what happened again, I kept falling in love with entrepreneurship.
And as you know, I moved to New York and built a network where my entire social life was work. It was amazing entrepreneurs as well. So I'm working with them, I'm hanging with them, but I'm actually not one of them. And I'm a really big believer in the definition of entrepreneurship as building a business that's, that's bigger than that's bigger than you that functions without you. Like I think that there's different levels. You can be self employed, you can be a freelancer and that's doing work, you know, fee for service, right selling your time. But when you're an entrepreneur, you're building something that's bigger than you and so I was a service professional. I was selling my time, and it was great. I built That amazing little business doing that. But I, after a while I actually remember it was when I sort of a lesson and the the side effects of goal accomplishment for the longest time, that was just my goal to have like a book solid schedule, which for me was about 25 hours of consults a week. And I got that, and then I increased my rights and lost a few clients.
And I filled that up again. And I remember at an all new higher price per hour of of consult, I had a full roster. And I remember where I was, when I had this realization, I was sitting in my apartment on Christopher Street, you've been too many times, I was sitting on the couch looking at my calendar for the next week. And I was like, Wow, I'm booked out, and everyone's at the new rate. And then I was like, I did it, I achieved my goal. This is what I always wanted. And then I immediately when I don't know if I can do this for the next forever for the next five years. And that was the day I started thinking about what's next. And what was next for me was building something new, a new business that was truly entrepreneurial that was was I started thinking about what could I do that actually scales where I can work only on the business and never actually in it.
Because I proved to myself, I can be in a business I can sell, I could be the engine of value creation. So my next chapter was building something and that that impulse to find that thing led me down the path of finding a problem in the market to solve like an epic, you know, market demographic that needed it sold, and marrying up my skills, which are, to be honest, very narrow, right? Like I know a lot about psychology, a little bit about digital marketing. And I put the all of that together and came up with the idea for commit action. And so that, yeah, that second chapter was was sort of do something that scales. And I decided to bootstrap that as a business, funding it through through my coaching my successful coaching practice. And it took a really, really long time to figure it out and find product market fit, which is how bootstrapping works, right? Like, instead of moving fast, and spending lots of other people's money, I moved really slow and spend a little bit of my money.
And yeah, we played with it and played with it until 2019, when I realized I had something really significant, that could be really big. And I went out and raised some venture capital financing to kind of pour fuel on the fire and blow it up. And that's exactly what we did. So. So now these days to answer your question the long way around, I only do a couple of hours a week of client consults. I do it because I love it. I do it because I like to keep my kind of mental soul sharp. And I love working with entrepreneurs. And it informs the stuff that we're doing, it can inaction. But when I'm not doing that, I'm the CEO of a startup. So I you know, we have a team, we're scaling up, we, I work on a business all day long, and only spend a few hours a week, selling my time, which I plan to do forever and ever. I've learned that I kind of I kind of love it a little bit. But I don't think I'll ever go back to like a full time roster of clients. So yeah, that's the balance these days.
Nik Tarascio 
Yeah. Well, it's great. I mean, you really kind of touched on the premise of the show as well, which is kind of capturing that moment of success, which for you sounds like it was the full calendar at the high rate. You immediately it sounds like you immediately went into the like, oh shit, is the thorough mountain to climb? Or is this the mountain I want to be on top of and then decided to build your business? And what I what I'm really wondering is because you've dealt with so many people that have been on this journey? What advice would you give people that are trying to figure out which lane to go down? Because I've met many entrepreneurs that I'm like, I don't think you actually wanted to be an entrepreneur. I think you wanted to sell your time for money. I think you actually loved being the one on one interface with somebody. Like, what what would you offer there for somebody to get that clarity of going like, I don't want to go down the wrong road because I'm trying to follow someone like Peters path.
Peter Shallard 
That's really interesting. So yeah, because I think about this a lot. And it's funny, like that experience sitting on the couch in that apartment, looking at the calendar on my computer for the week ahead, seeing it booked out. It was this moment. It I think of it as a moment where I really discovered I was an entrepreneur. One of the jokes I have with a lot of my clients, I remind them all the time is like you know, like an entrepreneur is someone who pops a bottle of champagne to celebrate a win a goal being accomplished a big victory in business.
And by the time the coke hits the ground, they've already set the next goal and they're feeling shitty that they haven't accomplished it. Right? There's like that how like, it's like this little above it. And I'm being facetious, right, like, not all my clients have that psychologically broken and dark. But it was funny because it really was like I made it about a week before i i wouldn't say it was miserable. But I was anticipating future misery. Like I was like, Oh, like this is kind of a lot like I've, I've like well, well well if it isn't the consequences of my own decisions, you know? And so like I don't realize, I think that that way of thinking and that way of being is fundamentally entrepreneurial. And like, that's how entrepreneurs work. And it's a blessing. And it's a curse. It's a double edged sword, most of the best things in life and psychology, certainly, ah.
And I actually think it's a mistake for people to spend a lot of time analyzing and thinking and overthinking, and over analyzing which ladder, like Which tree to lean that ladder up against. And this is part of what I'm all about was what we do at to MIT action, where we're all about evidence based coaching that's focused on helping people be very effective and take a lot of action, right. One of the principles we have is like action is, action is everything. It's always the answer. And I think that it's better to live your life by doing a bunch of stuff like wholeheartedly and energetically, even if you end up climbing a bunch of ladders, and getting to the bunch of a top of the tops of a bunch of trees only to discover the same dead, right? Because there's a perspective that you get from up there, right at the top of the blending metaphor is the tree the wall, I forget what the metaphor is, there's a perspective that you get from doing that, that you cannot get at the ground level, there's also a strength that you develop through the climbing, right, so you get stronger when you climb, you build muscles when you climb.
And so when you get to the top of the ladder, you realize it's the wrong one, you slide back down, you move the ladder to what you think is the right one, you're getting better at it, right, you're getting, you're getting stronger, and you're getting and you're being able to, you're able to climb further and higher. And so a lot of like I've worked with, I have clients that I've worked with for seven or eight years and as a confidant and an advisor, holding space for them on like a semi regular basis, if not weekly, for years at a time, right. And I've seen these people, these incredible high achievers do this where they're like, I want X and they go and get it. And then they like I'm happy. Oh, maybe I'm not I'm starting to feel unhappy. Maybe it's why maybe I need y and they go and get that too. And then it's not that either. And it's that it's not z, but then they turn around and look back over the last five years of chasing these boondoggles. And they're like, damn, like, I really got a lot of stuff done. Right?
And then they like now I figured out that they're onto like cod at this point, they've gone back to the start of the alphabet and this metaphor, and they're like, now I really know that I want D and guess what, it's not going to be that either. But but they have like eventually they start to take a real joy and just getting their right their muscles, their ladder climbing skill is really great at this point. And for for for a lot of them. They kind of realize that it's cliche, but that it's the journey, right? What what they start to enjoy is not so much being at the tops of the trees. It's it's just climbing those ladders. And so yeah, I think I think it is a like a real big fundamental piece of advice that I give to peep I would give to anyone starting out is like don't spend too long, overanalyzing overthinking. Like where you're going, it's better to just get going building something.
Nik Tarascio 
No, that's, I mean, that's really great advice. And I was actually thinking about the fact that part of the way you and I bonded was being a bunch of game nerds, where we'd get together and play board games. And I'd often think about it, I was like, by the time I was done playing the game. So you guys, it was like these hard strategy games, I would have burned out the same part of my mind that I burnt out in business. It was really like using the same mental faculty to try to solve problems and overcome them.
And for whatever reason, I actually don't give a shit about ma'am, maybe now I did. We used to play the game pandemic, or whatever it was. And it's like that, you know, it was like, do I really care about the idea of trying to figure out the strategy to prevent a pandemic from flowing all over the world? Turns out great, there's, that would have been a great opportunity. But you know, at the time, I was like, why am I willing to do that with such gusto and like, do it for fun, but when it comes to a business thing that I need to do, I'm like, This feels like obligation, it doesn't feel like fun. So that idea of like enjoying the ladder and seeing it as like, it's just a ladder to some other unknown place that will be just as interesting there. It's just all a game. I'm wondering how you relate to that concept. Like when you are on the ladder, and you're like, This one sucks. This climb is too steep, or the ladder is too long, or whatever it is, like how do you how do you keep yourself going when you have a moment of doubt where you're like, This is bullshit. And I don't think I don't think I want to go where this is going.
Peter Shallard 
Well see for your listeners out here, there's, I've got the benefit of a deep context with you, you know, we've been friends for 12 years now. So, so I kind of know I can I know what's going on between the lines. So this is the one of the most important things to sustain motivation in most entrepreneurs. Is is is agency. So all Most all entrepreneurs have some value around freedom, right? Some moreso than others. And it's funny because if you if you're a freedom Maximizer, you don't want to build a venture backed startup, because success than that looks like 500 employees, and being seriously diluted down in your ownership of the company, and being accountable to a board who might love you and think you're a genius.
And, you know, the, the, the building and sense of classes of shares to vest more ownership of the company back into you, because you're doing such a great job running it. But nevertheless, like, if you're running a big business like that, you're not free, you're deeply, deeply entrenched, right? You're connected to these people, and you're powerful, and you're a lot of things. But freedom isn't really a big one of them, right? Because if you get hit by a, like, if you have a key man insurance policy, taken out on you in a company, which most founders of these types of companies do have, then freedom isn't your number one value, and if it is, you're unhappy, right? And that moment, so entrepreneurs who truly value freedom, they tend to be the digital nomads, the freedom maximizers, who tried to build the one man business, that super high profit margin where they don't have to work that much.
And some of them achieve it, it's great that they do, we can talk a little bit about the perils of making freedom, your primary value, maybe later. But the thing is, is that I think all entrepreneurs value freedom to some degree, right? So like, even the founder of that big startup, who's kind of got the weight of the world on his shoulders and a lot of accountability and responsibility. Like, at the end of the day, they probably wake up on a good day and think, hey, but at least I'm the boss, at least I quit my job and investment banking to do this. You know, like, I would imagine, I'd like to think that Jeff Bezos, at some point was like, Well, this is even on the worst day at Amazon. This is better than working at the old hedge fund that he was at before he quit to start, you know, the first Amazon books business, right?
So we all value freedom to some degree, I think we're entrepreneurs often get unhappy, like a lot of the time is when they get end up in a situation where it feels that agency was taken away. Right, where they lacked volition, they lacked agency where they're not choosing to do the thing that they do. So a lot of like I, the two different entrepreneurs could have this, I have a very different response to the obligation of a Monday morning, stand up meeting with their team, right, your digital nomad free to maximize it might be like, Oh, these people are so needy, like, can't they just get on with it? Like, I'm trying to four hour work week over here, whereas your startup founder entrepreneur might be thinking, I love that we're building this culture, leadership is super important to me, I love showing up. It's the best part of my week, getting people pumped and getting people focused and setting the direction and the goals for the week. Right?
The difference is, who's choosing it, right? Who has agency, the unhappy entrepreneur feels like they're being made to do it, the happy entrepreneur feels like they're choosing to do it. And so it just so happens that this example is pertinent for you, because your business and the dynamics behind it often over the last 10 years, I've put you in positions where you fit where you're lacking agency, where you have to do stuff out of obligation to others. So that's, that's what I what I was gonna say question.
Nik Tarascio 
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think that that's, I often wonder how you would help someone steer into the reality that maybe they do have more freedom than they realize in that moment, because it is a you know, example for me as I'm a musician. I love not having rules and structure, I run an airline, we have only rules, rules and structure, right? It just like when it's more regulated in the medical industry, right. And of course, then there's like family obligation. Like I want to make sure my family is taken care of. There's like all these other things that come along with that. But I'm wondering, have you have you been able to help people reframe it?
Peter Shallard 
Family Business is probably an bullseye of like the most agency and volition robbing dynamics for entrepreneurs, right? And then like highly regulated industries of the other bullseye, and so you're doing both. So it's important. So. So, one of my favorite things to say in a psychological context is consciousness is the first step. Right? Like so being just being aware of that is really important, because it means that because it changes a lot of things mentally, it changes the standard that you hold yourself to, it changes how you compare yourself to others. You might I don't know if you have, but you might have looked at me and thought, why the fuck is Peter so happy all the time? Right? It's not fair. I want to be happy like him. And you know, there's a reason for it, which is I don't run a family business in a highly regulated industry. So there's a whole dimension of suffering that I'm just not open to.
The grass isn't always greener, right. There's a lot of other reasons that there's a lot of things that is really cool that you get to do like for example, fly jets around that I don't get to do so. But I think just knowing that and maintaining conscious awareness of that is going is going to be super duper important, right? Because if you start, if you compare yourself to people's highlight reel without kind of acknowledging like, these are the realities, right for you like, feeling free in the context of also being the CEO of a family business in a highly regulated industry is a win, but you're never going to feel as free while those things are true as the four hour workweek douchebag who's selling bullshit courses, crypto courses online for 99% margin, right? Like, you're just not, you're just not going to feel as free. And that's direct. I also think you don't want to be that guy, right?
Like, there's a, there's a whole bunch of other costs to being that guy, you know, that we could get into? So yeah, I think, I think consciousness is the first step. And then you're tapping into the right thing with your music as well. Like, one of the things about freedom, and about a lot of values that humans have that that entrepreneurs hold is like, we just need to experience them, but it doesn't, sometimes we overthink it, right, like I've worked with, it's gonna sound really cheesy, but this is a true story from my from my client work over the years, I had some clients who ran a very staff intensive services business, it was an agency, creative agency. And they often I worked with a two co founders partner had like, you know, 5050 partners, they often felt burdened by the responsibility of this staff and payroll services is hard, because you're you live on this margin on top of all these highly paid highly skilled people, right. And so it's a tough business, it's tough business model, at the best of times, and they often felt the burden of the lack of freedom and autonomy, because, you know, having hired all these people that had to show up for them is very difficult for them to just be like, I just want to go to Bali for three months, you know, because they couldn't.
So that's not freedom. But one of the things that really helped them was we used to talk about I don't know, if you guys have this expression in America, where I'm from, we call it playing hooky, which is like when you when you don't go to school, right? You like when a school kid just like, goes to the ball and like maybe gets arrested, like gets taken home by a police officer who sees them and is like, what are you doing here? That that I did? Is that like a dynamic that happens in this country?
Nik Tarascio 
I don't know anyone ever getting arrested, but the expression holds?
Peter Shallard 
Well, I grew up in a little small town environment where like the police, if they saw kids at a certain age on certain days of the year would be like, I'm gonna call your mom's that's kind of what it was like. So. Yeah, so playing hooky was advice we gave, I gave them as founders of this business. And they used to do it regularly, almost in the same way that like long term married couples will have like a scheduled date night. So they actually had a Wednesday morning appointment. And they hit it on an I think it was fortnight like every other week, they would go and get brunch, like a weekend brunch, like pancakes. You know, I don't know if there was mimosas, but I don't know if they drank but it was it was a extravagant brunch on a Wednesday morning.
And they did this to remind themselves, they specifically did it in a place where they could see people walk into and fro with suits on. And they did it to remind themselves that they want those guys. Right. It was like it was like an act of metaphor of their life that they would they would sit there and eat their pancakes and be like, look at these idiots working for the man not like us, right? Where you know, where we get to set our own rules. And it was this little ritual. And it was also like a partner meeting for them that they could spend some time together and their busy lives. But it was just a little, a little a sort of a totem, a little reminder of the freedom and agency that they do have. But on a bad day they can forget about. And I think that stuff matters, right? And so like, you know, you've got your guitars on your wall. Like anytime you go and do something really creative and unstructured. It serves the same purpose. And that stuff works. As cheesy as it sounds. It really works. Yeah.
Nik Tarascio 
Yeah, it was funny. For a long time. I was like, I want to have a music career. I want to you know, do the whole touring thing. And then it hit me I also don't want structure in my creative pursuits. I don't want to have to perform on a particular day or have to deliver something by a certain time. So I actually really have rejected a lot of that structure even when like our old friends would be like let's get together every Thursday night standing hang out in Washington Square Park and play music. I was like, Oh, that makes me feel uncomfortable. I just want to go when I feel the spirit that day.
Peter Shallard 
It's one of it's one of my one of my favorite things to make fun of my clients. I was like the entrepreneurial tendency to kind of optimize everything, optimize and add structure to everything because a lot of us figure out in business like if you want to be really high achieving, like, you got to set goals, create processes, like you know, KPIs like managing you, right like you get very struck Should, and a lot of entrepreneurs do that with their hobbies, and then start to wonder why they feel dead and empty inside.
And so I think it's great that you spotted that because in a way, there's like nothing more tragic than like, you know, the entrepreneur who loved surfing so much that he decided to like start a surfboard company, and then now spends all of his time talking to investors and looking at spreadsheets miles away from the beach. You know, like, it's, it's totally okay to I actually think some of the happiest entrepreneurs in the world are those who have made money with really boring stuff. But they live these really these really rich lives of whether or not value maximizing and optimizing their hobbies and stuff. I'm a big skier.
And I'll never forget, I one time sat on the chairlift randomly at a pretty nice result with the founder of a well known snowboard apparel company. And I was I said to the guys, like, Oh, you must get out here all the time. And he was like, this is actually one of my first days of the season. And we were well into February. And it kind of blew my mind, right? Like, I was like, wow, okay.
Nik Tarascio 
Yeah, we, we saw that we saw that, you know, aviation is such a sexy industry. And when we had the flight school, you'd have people that had the dream of flying again, like what an amazing aspirational thing to do. So we would give people flight lessons, they get their license, and then we had one, one customer is like, I'm going to start a flight school. We're like, ooh. So you're not going to fly much anymore than like, it's, you know, you just kind of know, it's, it's the death of the dream, because you're in service of other people following their dream in some cases.
And I do think a lot about that there was a book called The E Myth. And if you ever heard of that book, yeah, it's this idea of the entrepreneurial myth of like, you know, just because you're a great baker doesn't mean you should go into business of baking. Right. And I think I've seen a lot of that. And again, we're in an industry that, like, if you're talking about I don't know, H fac companies or something, I don't think anyone's like I have a passion for heating and ventilation and air conditioning. I don't think anyone does it in a passion. But I do think people enter our industry, out of a passion, only to find out that behind the scenes, it's actually a really, really tough business to be in. Right. So I imagine you do see, some of that stuff happened. And I think that's a lot of where my challenge came from. We were surrounded by all these four hour workweek errs and people that make, you know, infinite margin on the stuff that they're selling.
And I'm like, Yeah, you're right. They all seem happier than me. They all seem like they really love what they do. You know, I think I was trying to find that only to realize like, there are people that are happy that they run a flight school, there are people that are happy that they run a charter company, there are people that are happy that they run a maintenance organization. You know, I think it's also this people kind of chose that intentionally. And in my case, I've found happiness in it. But man, you were there for the transition of like, what the hell's going on? I keep trying to climb all these different ladders only to find out none of them make me happy. But then like, what's wrong with me? Right. So it's a really, it's an interesting distinction. It's a really interesting distinction. Like I said, you were the I think your words, were the specific words that had illuminated how much I stop and start how much of gas and brake at the same time, and it sucked. I was one of the worst conversations of my life, but worked out really well.
Peter Shallard 
Oh, yeah. Where did we have that one?
Nik Tarascio 
We were sitting at a restaurant and I was I had just done landmark. And landmark they had me go ask questions of like, what is the one thing my friends would say that they could really depend on me for? What's the one thing they can't depend on me for and you were like, probably to follow through on anything you say you're gonna do? And I was like, Ooh, he was absolutely brutal. It was so uncomfortable.
Peter Shallard 
If you're listening to this at home and wondering how difficult it is to be my friends trust her and things. It's it's not easy. Yeah.
Nik Tarascio 
No, but it was it was truly like one of the most important conversations of my life because I was like, Well, if that's actually, because it wasn't a question of how you see me, it was a question of how our friends see me. That's why it was such like a bomb for me where I was like, wow, that is probably how everyone sees me. And I do see that pattern of I'm trying to start and stop and do all these things and have dreams of building the next big thing. When you said it, I was like, I really have to reconcile do I feel happy with the fact that that's how people see me now?
Peter Shallard 
Yeah, well, I think if we can use social shame to drive a really meaningful behavior change, that's a job well done. You know, it ain't much but it's honest work. Yeah. Yeah, it's I mean, I think yeah, it's, it's, it kind of ties in nicely with everything we've talked about. I think at that time, I remember the conversation now is is a while ago, at that time, you were definitely in this phase of life where you know, you've been climbing a really big ladder because not all that as injuries are equal, right and the one that you're on with the aviation company and and still on in some ways, it's a big long climb and you're really high at it.
Like To be honest, you've achieved a lot you know, you've really done amazing things. But you were on it, and climbing high and kind of going I don't know if this is where I want like I don't know if this is if this is that that I don't know if I'm happy right? It's like me with my calendar. Like that week I was happy but I was like, but if this is it, I don't know. And then what I was observing was a lot of that ground level analysis right. You will Like you were like, down on the ground was a arm four or five ladders being like, I think that one and this one and this one, I'm gonna put one foot on that one one foot of the other and then get down on that one go over to this one, right? We, there's a lot of people, a lot of people get stuck in that, that space of like, over overthinking and over analyzing where to begin and trying a lot of things.
And then kind of walking back and trying something new. I think we've talked about this, it's it's because of the psychological addiction to optimism and, and, and the uninformed optimism that you can only feel when you're at the beginning of a journey. Right? Like, it's only when you don't know anything about something, right, like becoming a musician or whatever. Like God bless this the 14 year old boy who suddenly realizes that he can play thrash metal without with very little skill. And he's like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna get after it, right? gets real excited about it, get started wearing eyeliner, like, you know, goes down the whole thing. But when you start a new project is there is uninformed optimism, because you don't know what you don't know. Right? You don't know about the difficulties that people will encounter. That it's easy to believe this is going to be nothing but an upward ascent to greatness and happiness and all the things that you want. And so what tends to happen is people take action on these ideas over time. And the more action that they take, the more they learn about why. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
But of course, it's not, you know, like it's not nothing and nothing in life. That's that's creates lasting concrete value is easy. By definition, right. And so they start to become a little more pessimistic at the same rate, they become informed. And so one of the one of the most, the most seductive, insidious forms of human self sabotage is the quitting of good ideas, to go back to a brand new idea, because new ideas always feel more exciting than medium old ideas you've been grappling with, right? Yeah, I think that was the pattern. And it's a it's a, it's a fantastic pattern to identify and let go because it creates sort of an Arrested Development. You can't, you can't win in anything unless you get through the suck. That isn't that is a part of any type of goal accomplishment. And but there's a high there's a high that people chase of uninformed optimism of like, oh, this new idea is going to be, you know,
Nik Tarascio 
I mean, I think in many ways, I wasn't served by the fact that I'm around the winners all the time, right? Like the people that are in our entrepreneur groups. They're not the losers. They're the ones that have already beat the odds there that they they're in that minority. So there was a little bit of like a confirmation or selection bias at play all the time. Like example, I always said, like, I really should have done real estate in New York's everyone I know in New York has done really well a real estate in it, because all the ones that last aren't here anymore, are all gone. Only the winners hung around, right? The other ones that can afford to spend this kind of money on a dinner.
So I think that was also part of the really insidious nature was I just didn't have the real data. I had this bias of like everyone else seems to be doing so well. But yeah, I really appreciate that concept of the uninformed optimism, I think that was a very alluring beast for a while. And going back to worthiness kind of landing the plane on that front is, you know, I kind of think about because I think our conversation must have been eight or nine years ago, where we talked about that, like I stop and start a lot. And it was only in about 2019. And I realized, wait a minute, I feel this sense of our lack of freedom to do what I want to do in the company, it feels like an obligation. And when I actually went and proof tested it, it turned it up, I turned on my parents were like, Oh, do whatever you want. Like, if you think it's a good idea, do it. I was like, wait a minute, all this time, I had been carrying this false idea that I can't put my own thumbprint on it.
And what I really think it was was the subconscious fear that if I put my thumbprint on and it fails, then it's my fault. And then I actually am carrying the torch. So in a lot of ways, it took me a little while to figure it out. And I think that has changed my relationship, I do feel that I have the freedom to create my vision and to run it by my parents, I still like to get their blessing when I do something. But it is actually really funny to recount that. There's how much at the time if you had asked me I would say I couldn't possibly do any of those things. And it's like why oh shit is only because that was my own sense of self worth it's or this idea that like I had to win it everything if like you're an entrepreneur you're not supposed to win and everything no one wins at everything.
Peter Shallard 
Right there's I mean, I was gonna say it's important to call out that there's nothing that kills a company fast enough then the faster than you know refusing to act on anything that and that involves risk. Right? Like yeah, if you if you just sit there only willing to execute strategy that is that is guaranteed. Then you're stuck. You do nothing because there are no guarantees. Right, like you're not, you're not, you can't try anything new. You can only do things that you did in the past. And that's the, you know, it's the innovators dilemma in some, in some sense, right? It's like, that's the death of all but innovation and growth and business, which is when you're just driving forward by looking in the rearview mirror. It's the oldest cliche in the book. But yeah, it's crazy to kind of unpack, like, how, how someone can get there, you know. But it's, it's very common, a lot of a lot of business people, a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of giant corporations will will be in that holding pattern in a slow downward spiral for 3050 years, you know?
But yeah, you got it. Yeah, you got to be able to try new stuff. And, and that is, that is, I think that's the fundamental act of entrepreneurship, as you know, it's it's risk taking, right, it's like, it's rolling the dice on ideas that there's an asymmetric reward to the amount of risk that's being taken. You want to avoid terminal risk, right? Like, you don't want to bet the house, your bet your boat, underwrite your business with your, with your mortgage, and have your wife and kids or whatever out on the street. But you got to take shots at you got to you got to you got to throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. That's what that's what that's what entrepreneurship is.
Nik Tarascio 
Very cool. I think we actually I always love when this happens, that kind of came back full circle to to what you said is that the really the dominant strategy is to get into action, right? To take action to keep moving, keep going, keep trying stuff. And I think that's kind of the single biggest thing I took away from this, I wanted to enter unworthiness, but really got to that point of like, just do stuff, right, just do more stuff. Like, at least if it's in line with your business, don't go run out and maybe do what I did, which is like, I'm going to try to start nine things because I have no idea which one to do, but to really commit action, I guess,
Peter Shallard 
If you I mean, it just is obviously it's a cliche, because this is what my company is called commit action. That's what we're all about. And, you know, there is a reason that it's my agenda. But I mean, from the bottom of my heart, I do believe this to be true. I think that, first of all, I think that entrepreneurship itself is a task skill, right? Maybe it's not something that you can learn, your parents can't teach it to you, your unit school certainly can't teach it to you, the only way to learn is by doing it right. And so therefore, you're by by even taking imperfect action, even outright boneheaded, wrong action on bad ideas. So long as you keep your eyes open, and you're kind of hot open, you know, and you to learning, so long as you're willing to learn from the consequences of taking action on dumb ideas, then you're going to progress.
Like the next idea you have, if it's informed by the bad one, you just action, you will you will have learned something by colliding with the real world by right by actually shipping something. I think what what a lot of people don't realize is that the thinking, the analysis, the strategy part, the whiteboarding of ideas to try to find the perfect strategy. That's all that's all an unconscious effort to hide from, from risk from from fear of failure, right? It's a way to avoid taking, taking action. And so yeah, and the problem is that you don't learn anything by having until by it by having ideas but not doing them. Right. You don't gain any of that real world school of hard knocks Street's my experience, that is what makes entrepreneurs and to entrepreneurs. So yes, moral of the story is action is everything.
Nik Tarascio 
Yeah, well, thanks. I never I'm embarrassed to say I've never understood your company name in that deep of a sense. So well done. Well done, it seems like you put a real thought into that I'm kind of arriving at a point that actually does make a lot of sense is just to commit to taking action. And really push through that path. Because I think if you don't, you don't get to the learning. And you just play in this ridiculous cycle over and over and over again, fueled by that uninformed optimism that you said. So I think that's for me the biggest takeaway, I'd love to, again, close it out with just if you're interested in what Peter's company does, you could check out commit action.com Peter, I think we touched on the book, the E Myth, if you're if you are someone who's really good at a skill and thinking of launching a business doing that you could check the E Myth book out. And Peter, were there any recommendations from all these things? We spoke about that you want to leave anyone with?
Peter Shallard 
Um, I mean, yeah, come check us out at commit action. We've got tons of cool resources. And on this stuff, if you want to go down the science rabbit hole, as well as something I'm really passionate about this sort of evidence based psychology by saying, I think that's about it. It'd be great. EMS, a great book. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I mean, there's there's hundreds of amazing things, but maybe we maybe maybe we should come back for book for a book club episode.
Nik Tarascio 
That sounds great. I know you read more than I do. But I really appreciate the time and it's was such a treat to get to talk to you again just to one of my closest friends in life and get to talk about really cool stuff. So thanks for taking the time.
Peter Shallard 
Yeah, man, any time I'm I'm stoked to be here. Thanks for having me.
Nik Tarascio  All right, I hope you all enjoyed. Thank you for listening to the dream beyond. I hope that you received whatever message or inspiration you were meant to get from today's episode. I had a great time recording it for you. If you love the show, please take 30 seconds to subscribe rate and review it. That really helps get the word out. And if you want to connect with me, you can find me at
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