#and finds out he's low key weirdly into it

[aweina]

౨ৎ. KIMSET LUST ( 17﹢) ; mike schmidt

tags fem reader. mike’s pov. established relationship. mentions of blood. male masturbation. cunnilingus. mike being put into silly sexual situations + 1.8k words.

unintentionally perverted mike who cannot seem to catch a break from weirdly calculated sexual situations, but ends up going along with it — was it god’s plan? he doesn’t know. all he knows is that it began to unravel when you recently moved into his humble home, though it all seems like some erotic coincidence.

mike hated laundry duties. he’s always done them himself, sluggishly tossing a mixture of dirty clothes while abby plays with the cheap detergent and the sweetening softener. half that time he’s at the verge of toppling over the washer because a good night’s sleep seemed to be his enemy. now with you around, he found himself peacefully lounging on the couch cushions beside you — admiring your delicate hands folding each garment with precision and neatness he couldn’t emulate.

night shifts were less stressful. mike would find his security vest freshly ironed and laid perfectly over his bed. his nightly meal was already packed in his work bag, containers of his favorite food tucked in a orderly stack. you would be at the front door, peppering kisses all over his face while saying your hushed goodbyes — giving him a natural energy booster. despite working gruesome hours and the paranormal nature of the abandoned children’s pizzeria making him rethink all his life choices, mike was thankful you’ve put so much effort into taking care of him.

the office was eerie, darkened and covered in disheveled merchandise. the white noise from the bulky monitors began to irritate him. he could never seem to stay awake, despite the wavering feeling of death — other pairs of eyes stalking his movements, although mike convinced himself it was just all in his head. but restlessness weighed heavier than the feeling of danger, so he decided to steal in a few hours of sleep. tucking his hand in his pocket, the cassette tape he brought felt weird, like thin fabric? mike tugs out the foreign object in curiosity and immediately sputters in embarrassment.

it was your underwear. wrinkled from being confide by his jean pocket — seemingly lost when it was tussled in the dryer. mike was no stranger to seeing you in underwear, but he’s never held them before. damn, it was cute. made with white lace and silk fabric, a pretty little bow hemmed on the waistband. his first instinct would be to put it aside and give it to you probably in the next five hours. but then there were lingering thoughts, not-so-innocent ones.

mike halfheartedly folds the intimate garment until he stares at it for more than a few seconds — so pretty, just like you. he’s imagining you wearing it, how it wraps around your plush waist, how it looks when you bend down. ever so slowly, mike brings it to his face. the silky material felt gentle on his skin, perfumed with floral detergent that you picked out. he pressed it harder on his face, desperately taking in any remnants of your natural scent — even when he knew that wouldn’t be the case. but mike still blindly smelt you, like how would when you’re spread apart in front of him — those quiet nights. his face was completely submerged in the fabric, every audible sniff made him feel a little shameful, but he couldn’t help himself. your heady scent kept him awake that shift.

it was morning, the night shift only hours past him. mike huffs a curse when he guiltily pinches at the hem of your underwear — tainted with his own seed. his face grows hot at his unusual pastime. did he really jerk off with your underwear? in the middle of his job? mike knew he was pathetic, but he didn’t know he could even stoop that low. what’s done is done, he thinks. nervously fiddling with the lock, the sudden sound of a whirling car engine made the keys in his sweaty grasp collapse to the ground. it was a cop car and that really only meant one person.

the tinted windows slid down, a peek of blonde hair made him stumble just a bit.

“hey mike, the shift okay?” vanessa asked with a small smile — blue eyes watching him carefully.

with your underwear still in his grasp, mike suspiciously tucks it in his pocket as he feigns a cough — hoping that could draw away attention from it. he shrugs with attempted composure, keeping his slightly sticky hands deep in his pockets.

“yeah, didn’t sleep this time.” mike was honest, but not too honest.

vanessa squints her eyes, the nervous tone in his voice setting off alarms. it didn’t help that she saw some weird object in his hand, how much more messy his curls were, a weirdly placed lace print marking his flushed face, or the white stains that blotched against his unzipped jeans. actually, she knows exactly what’s going on, but she’ll spare herself from having such an awkward exchange.

at least he hasn’t figured it out yet.

“that’s good, make it back home safe.” vanessa disregards the relieved exhale from mike, quietly amused at the fact that he really thought he was even subtle in his nightly activity.

“thanks, i will.” mike waves as he watches the car drive away, zipping up the fly of jeans with one hand.

that was two days ago. he’s never really told you what happened out of guilt. your soiled underwear was immediately washed twice and dried when he got back home, right before you could even greet him from the kitchen — wafting with the hungering scent of buttery pancakes and sizzling bacon. he even tried to fold it the same way you did to draw away your keen eyes.

it was funny enough that the next day, a blurry photo of your nude body was planted in the folds of his leather wallet. he was lucky to fish it out at a secluded gas station rather than a grocery store. mike stared at the photo for a while, completely enamored by your misted curves and the hazy, lustrous gaze at the camera. of course he saved the photo, tucking it back in his wallet as he patted down the hardened tent on his pants.

then his night shift came along. though, it was much worse. the time looping nightmare kept him shaken, pints of sweat falling from his brow bone. it felt like he was mindlessly holding his breath, choking himself in his own sleep. the jagged cut on his arm bled, stinging with every shallow movement — a deep slash that managed to cut through the thick fabric of his jacket. mike has no idea how he got it, but he didn’t care enough to figure it out, at least for now. it was bandaged rather poorly, done with a trembling hand and limited knowledge of medical attention. all his muddled brain could process right now was the directions back to his home and the desperate feeling to be splayed on his warm bed.

he was an hour late when he got back home, nearly collapsing into a permanent sleep once he sat on the driver’s seat. it was a miracle that he made it back home — with the road being a complete blur and the traffic lights floating behind his eyelids. abby was at school around this time and you were … where were you? despite his worry over your absence, mike promptly darted towards his room — hoping that he could soothe the sores penetrated deep into his muscles, to keep his mind away from the smell of rot that haunted him in his familiar dream.

flinging open the door, mike senselessly tosses his work bag towards the side — bumping into the legs of his littered nightstand with a loud bang. he falls face first on his bed, a comforting warmth instantly washing over his aching body. it felt so soft, much more different than sitting on a hard, freezing chair for hours on end.

“mike?” your soft voice ringed in his ears, you were here.

“hey baby, i’m sorry. i’m tired … really tired.” mike apologetically mumbles, knowing his absence must’ve been unusual — maybe the crash from his bag startled you so early in the morning.

“m – mike.” your voice was much more pitched, you probably didn’t hear him.

the second his mouth fell open, a soft whimper escaped your lips — the magazine you were once browsing through was thrown to the side as your grip on the sheets were tight. mike blinked in confusion, but then he suddenly smelled it. your dripping arousal, his nose buried so deep into the source. from the moment he laid on the bed, he must’ve accidentally fallen his face between your legs without even realizing. was he that tired? why does this keep on happening? the underwear situation only happened a couple of days ago, the nude photo, and now this? he couldn’t tell if he was lucky or not.

the energy that was initially sucked out of his body rushed back into his veins. your body always kept him awake, even in his most restless days. lifting his head slightly, he peeks at the sight of your adorable pout and your watery gaze that could draw him away from the endless nightmares. it was still so early, everything under the sky was filtered blue, the sun was nestled beneath the morning shadows, the biting cold fighting against the whirling heater. but then again, these opportunities kept on falling on his lap, fantasies that mike never realized he had. it all centered around you, like the universe neatly wrapped you in silky ribbons and made you appear in his grayish moments — all the sexual repression he put himself through this week was somehow rewarded.

maybe he could indulge in this gift, thanking whoever is scattering your intimate belongings in his presence and letting him nuzzle between your legs without even having to open his eyes.

with this new epiphany, mike mouthed over your clothed mound, lapping his tongue on the thin fabric with much enthusiasm. he remembered the texture fairly well, how the silk tingled his skin, the press of cotton threads forming floral designs on his cheeks — it was the same underwear he used to masturbate. but now he was blessed with the source of your slickness, not washed away from artificial scents. his jaw moved in fervor, licking and suckling at the dampening fabric. each desperate groan that fell from his lips vibrated into your core — a rush of heat creating goosebumps all over your skin. your moans sounded so pretty, like a sweet tune. the call of his name echoed the empty halls when he finally pushed aside the soiled fabric and latched his mouth eagerly onto your soaked pussy.

something new seemed to happen everyday, all these freakish manifestations of his perverted fantasies.

mike couldn’t wait for what’s next to come.

© aweina : please do not copy, repost, or modify any of my content.

[icallhimjoey]

Explain Us

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: So, more than flatmates... but, what exactly? Would be fantastic if you would just, you know, talk about it. But communicating is not your strong suit and you're extremely certain that it's fine. Confusing and vague, but, fine.

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, a continuation of define close, no need to read it to enjoy this, though it will help! 18+ smut

Author’s note: there's an attempt at communication! hurray!

Wordcount: 3.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Shittest night of sleep ever? Yea. Shittest night of sleep ever.

It could not be true that in this short amount of time you no longer were able to fall asleep on your own like a normal person. That you needed another body next to you in order to let it catch you and drag you under.

But you’d barely slept. And the sleep that you did get was of the lightest variety, which barely even counted as sleep, you thought.

You had half expected maybe to wake up in Joe’s bed in the morning. Weirdly hoped that you would’ve sleepwalked right over into his room when you subconsciously heard him come home.

You had also half secretly wished that Joe would’ve made his way over and snuck into your bed upon finding his own cold and empty.

Neither happened.

Which was actually devastating.

But you had to pretend it wasn’t.

You were just flatmates, remember?

So you woke up in your own bed the same way you’d gone to sleep; by yourself, all alone, tired as fuck, and being stared at by Joe’s little plant.

Joe’s little plant that, deep sigh, desperately needed watering.

With a low grumble stuck in the back of your throat, you got up and out of bed and went to feed that little plant. Meanly whispered, “You don’t even belong here.” to it as you poured some water from the cup that held your toothbrush in your ensuite.

You immediately felt bad for it, and followed it up with a soft, “No, I’m sorry, you do. I just haven’t slept well. Sorry.”

Idiot.

Talking to a plant.

You needed some coffee.

Joe’s bedroom door was closed, which checked out, he was probably sleeping off a hangover. But halfway through breakfast, you heard the front door open and frowned in confusion. Your mind shot over who the fuck that could be besides Joe. Who else had a key beside both your mums?

But then, a sweaty, wet, rosy-cheeked Joe walked in, all out of breath, already pulling his T-shirt over his head that he then used to rub at his curls before pushing them back.

You nearly chocked on your bite of toast.

Joe smiled, still panting, and leant both arms on the island right next to you. Bent all the way down to do some stretching, and then stood up, only to lean over and take a bite from the piece of toast you were still holding.

If you’d have been more alert, you’d have moved it out of his way.

But, clearly, you were not more alert.

Not your fault, though. Clearly.

“Morning,” he grinned, breathing through flared nostrils as he chewed.

You comically blinked and checked your wrist that didn’t hold a watch for the time.

“What the... are you still drunk?”

Joe laughed as he opened the fridge, fishing out something to drink. He found a bottle of water and you watched him closely as he gulped some of it down.

“What time did you even get in?”

“Not that late,” Joe shrugged, “Two-ish, I think?”

You saw how he eyed the breakfast you were still holding, and yea, you weren’t that hungry anyway. You dropped whatever there was left onto your plate and slid it across. Joe happily went for the scraps.

“And already all alert and awake at,” you tapped your phone to actually check the time and grimaced. “Oh, never mind.”

It was nearing in on half 9.

Felt much earlier. Probably because you’d barely slept.

“You should try it,” Joe said, eyes on what he was about to shove into his mouth, all casual, like he wasn’t half naked and shiny with his own sweat. Wet curls trying to creep onto his forehead like their life depended on it. Cheeks all red and blotchy. “Come running with me sometime. Really makes you feel useful first thing.”

You scoffed at him despite how good he looked.

Shit. He looked so good.

But Joe had said that like you didn’t get up early to go to work five days a week. Like you didn’t leave him in his bed only to turn over and go back to sleep once you’d left.

“Um, I’ve been useful plenty, mind you.”

“Oh yea?”

“Watered your plant first thing.”

“My plant?”

“Your plant.”

Joe’s eyes scanned you for a second, and you almost grew shy.

“It’s in your room.”

And with that, Joe rounded the island and bent to push his face into your neck where he left a wet raspberry that made you squeal before he left for a shower.

You didn’t talk about how you’d slept in separate beds for the first time in ages. You didn’t mention how your arm had reached across several times in search of him, and how you’d felt stupid for it every single time you remembered he wasn’t there.

At least breakfast hadn’t been awkward.

He was insane for walking in like a wet dream, sure. But it was ultimately all fine.

And it wasn’t like you ever talked about anything ever before. If anything, this was as normal as it had ever been between the two of you.

So you went about your day. Had many important activities to do. All crucial business. Almost too much for just one girl, but you know, you were a real go getter.

You moved the little plant from your dresser to your windowsill where it would get some actual sunlight, and then fell asleep on the sofa to some bad TV.

Like you’d said; crucial business.

The evening came around fast, and after your shower, you found yourself sat on the floor by the foot of your bed. Your nose stung from the open bottle of nail polish remover by your feet, and you felt how it dried the absolute shit out of the skin of your toes as you’d forgotten to get the acetone free kind.

Across the hall you could hear Joe brush his teeth in the bathroom, and you silently prepared yourself for another night of shitty sleep.

You didn’t know if you could muster up a stupid excuse to sneak into his bed tonight, and after sleeping apart, it felt like there was a new threshold in place. One that was too high. If Joe wasn’t going to invite you over, you probably wouldn’t.

You’d moved onto your second foot when you heard footsteps coming closer, and then Joe appeared in the doorway to your bedroom.

Obviously, you immediately noticed him.

Didn’t mean that you also had to immediately acknowledge him, though.

You kept eyes on the task at hand, using a thumb to really push down on a cotton round that tinted pinker with every swipe.

Joe just stood there, leant against the side and you tried to imagine what Joe was looking at. You were sat on your rug like a dirty little gremlin, inhaling chemical fumes that would leave you loopy if you didn’t close that bottle soon.

You eventually cracked and went, “What?” without looking up.

You could feel Joe smile.

“Looks good there, in the window.” he commented, and that did make you look up, finally. You followed Joe’s gaze and turned to look at his crispy wave that you’d placed there.

You knew Joe was just making conversation, but you didn’t really know what to say. For a moment, it was quiet and you both just... look at the plant.

Then, you let your filter drop a second and surprised yourself when you said, “We got caught yesterday.”

You said it before you looked at him, and you were glad for it. When you did turn your head his way, he was already frowning in confusion. You were glad you hadn’t seen him go from a cheeky smile into that muddled glower.

“What do you mean?”

“I told her. Had to, tell her. She asked.”

You didn’t even say what you told her. You trusted he’d get it. So many things went unsaid with you, surely, this could be one of them.

You were right, because in true flatmate fashion, Joe didn’t ask.

Instead, you watched his face change back into a soft amusement as he lowly chuckled to himself. Looked down at his bare feet. Nodded and sighed. Visibly dropped his shoulders.

You didn’t understand what was funny.

But you also didn’t ask.

And then, Joe turned and just... left. Walked back over to his own bedroom.

What the fuck did that mean?

You should’ve just asked.

You didn’t. Of course.

You had a task to do. Two of your toenails were still red. And the skin of your fingers was starting to stain now too.

You finished up, cleared all your toenails of the chipped polish and kept your ears pricked up. You could hear Joe’s wardrobe doors slide a few times. The clinking of his metal hangers. Things being dropped to the floor.

Weird time for a wardrobe clear-out, but, you kind of got it. You’d just mentioned it for the first time... ever? In front of him. Said you’d spoken to a friend about it. You’d just told Joe you’d talked about something intimate and secret between the two of you that you had never even spoken about to each other. It was at least a little unsettling, wasn’t it?

You remembered the last time you’d gotten weird news at a similar time of day and had decided that you needed to clean the kettle at half 11 on a Thursday.

People coped how they coped.

It was fine.

You double checked if the rug had any pink marks on, were glad to find that it hadn’t even though you hadn’t exactly been very careful, when you heard Joe’s wardrobe doors slide shut.

You paused.

Waited for the noise of him getting into bed.

The rustling of his duvet.

But then he suddenly called, “You coming?” and despite yourself, you smiled. Tried to bite it into your mouth to hide it, but that made it only grow wider.

“One sec!” you called back and hoped that the excitement wasn’t so noticeable through your voice. You quickly went and made your bed, so it looked all tidy. Got rid of the dirty cotton rounds that stank up the whole room and turned off the lights before making your way over to Joe’s room.

There you saw that Joe had neatly stacked all of what was inside of his wardrobe in piles on the floor just outside the wardrobe.

Awful.

Men were messy and awful.

But men also had warm beds they wanted to share, and Joe was holding up his covers so you could go and sneak in, and so you didn’t waste any time. Snuck right in on your respective side of his bed.

And then... it was awkward.

Kind of. Maybe.

You both laid on your backs, arms above the covers, and stared up at the ceiling and... now what?

Why was this suddenly weird?

You could think of a few reasons, but they were nothing to delve into right now.

After a short moment, Joe turned his head to look at you, and so you did too. Looked at him. Saw how he looked at your shoulder. Your arms. Your chest, probably.

"Nice T-shirt."

Oh.

Yea, that was his.

“Looks good on you.”

If the goal was to make you smile, he had succeeded. With flying colours.

But then his face turned serious, and he said, “But you know, it probably would look a lot better on my bedro–”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You’d already rolled your eyes at him before he’d even finished the cheesy pick-up line and stopped him before he got to complete the punchline. It made him laugh, and you were quick to roll yourself half-way over him because how could you not kiss that pretty mouth shut?

And this was it.

This was the answer.

All hints at awkwardness vanished the moment you pressed your lips to his.

The moment Joe’s arms wrapped around you.

The moment he kept you in place with a tight grip, right on top of him.

The moment he let a hand wander to grab at your ass.

The moment he encouraged you to alleviate some pressure over one of his thighs.

When you felt how hard he was.

When you lost all control over your breathing.

Felt how Joe kept holding his, only to release it in shudders every couple of inhales.

You had never had actual sex before. No, wait, you did. What you had seen and felt and tasted of each other already did also count as actual sex. But it had all been hands, fingers, mouths. You'd never let Joe inside with more than his fingers. Twice his tongue.

Joe was just as aware.

He was happy to just make out for a while. Touch your tits. Help you ride his thigh. Have you sneak a hand into his boxers after, to make things wet and sticky inside of the cotton.

You know. Normal flatmate things.

But you kind of wanted more.

You’d never had more, and Joe’s hands were good. His fingers were nice. No complaints at all. But you wanted more.

Joe stilled when you pulled him out of his boxers. Pushed them down a little to reveal all of him.

"Are you–..." Joe whispered, and it was so soft, you could barely hear it over your own breathing.

You were already lining yourself up.

"Wait– are you sure you want– did you– ahmm..." Joe let his head fall back into his pillow and groaned when you used him to rub at yourself. To make yourself feel good a second.

Drove him fucking insane.

You liked that.

Liked how Joe so easily showed you the effect you had on him.

Liked how audible he was when you pressed him there a little harder. Moved him there a little faster. He almost sounded pained.

He started looking more and more like he did that morning when he’d come back from his run.

“Are you sure?” you teasingly asked when you moved him to where he could slip inside with just a simple thrust of his hips.

Joe made eye-contact and you laughed at the deadpan sarcastic glare you got. Of course he was sure, were you fucking joking?

Your laughter died fast as Joe did exactly what you wanted and pushed up, slipping inside.

“Shit.” You moaned.

“Yea, shit.” Joe confirmed.

And yea.

This could be a new flatmate thing.

Sure.

Riding your flatmate was fine.

So normal.

You cuddled on the sofa and had pizza together because it brought the both of you comfort.

And this brought comfort all the same, didn’t it?

Made your legs cramp a bit quicker, sure, but intimacy was intimacy and if you both liked it, then why not?

What was stopping you?

Joe came first.

Gargled, “Oh fuck!” before pulling you up to free himself, and it fucking went everywhere.

His fault, he panted, followed by a quick apology. He shouldn’t have held onto your waist to keep you in place and shouldn’t have started thrusting up into you like a fucking animal, he explained.

You didn’t mind.

Joe coming first didn’t feel like a mistake.

It was actually kind of hot that he got so into it that he couldn’t hold it back any longer. Maybe not the sperm exploding over fucking everything, but you knew Joe didn’t think this flatmate activity was done until you’d orgasmed as well. That was how it had worked up until then, anyway.

You expected him to maybe get his hands in between your legs, and you were already sort of moving into a position to make that easy work for him, but then Joe surprised you when he said, “Go get your toy.”

You froze and looked at him.

“No?” he asked when he saw your face.

“I– What? Have you snooped–... wait. Do not answer that.”

Joe had never snooped. Wasn’t a snooper. He still didn’t know where most the things in your kitchen were kept.

That meant that he’d heard it.

Mortifying.

But there was no time to feel mortified.

Joe nodded his head towards your room, casually said “Go get it, let me play.”

And, okay. Fine.

Joe was allowed to play.

Twice.

Joe got to play twice.

He pushed for a third time, but you had to put your foot down. Had to push his arms away from you pleadingly.

Too much.

Good though.

This was definitely  going to be a new flatmate thing. You’d personally see to it. Surely, Joe was on the same page.

You got a kiss to a sweaty temple and were instructed to put that toy back, go for a wee, have a sip of water, and come back to bed.

You did as you were told, body still buzzing when you got back in between his covers where you saw Joe reach for his phone and set an alarm.

Half 6.

“Are you going to get up early to feel ‘useful first thing’ again?” you joked, moving your hair to where it wouldn’t hurt when you lied down on Joe’s pillow.

Joe huffed a laugh and placed his phone on his bedside table before saying, “If I were, would you join me?”

“No.” you simply said as Joe turned around and pulled you closer. “But change it to a walk, and it’s a strong maybe from me.”

Joe cuddled up close and used his nose to push at your cheek until there was enough space there for him to burrow into your neck.

“No, you’re the worst to go on walks with,” he mumbled all close to your ear.

That tickled you, and you giggled as you acted outraged. “What?”

“You have zero spatial awareness,” said the boy who was giving you zero personal space at the moment. “You keep bumping into me every four steps, it’s so annoying.”

You laughed and tried pushing him away, but it only made him burrow deeper.

It was quiet for a second then.

Just his breathing in your ear.

Darkness surrounded you and, shit, it was so nice to have an arm over your waist. A leg pushed in between yours. You never wanted to sleep alone again.

Maybe you could just turn your room into a huge walk-in wardrobe.

Or an office.

Joe could read scripts and practice lines in there, and then this bedroom wouldn’t have clothes all over the floor like it did now.

Maybe you’d talk about it tomorrow.

You felt like you’d made a good attempt at communication today.

Baby steps, you know?

“Well,” you whispered, ready to let yourself drift off into a deep sleep. “Enjoy your run all alone by yourself, then, loser. Good night.”

You felt Joe’s stomach tense with silent laughter as he squeezed you even closer to him. You used a lone finger to trail soft lines up and down the arm that held you. It took mere seconds for you to feel how it gave him goosebumps there.

It was disgusting how you were about to fall asleep with a smile plastered onto your face.

Absolutely vile.

You fucking loved it.

“M’not going for a run,” Joe then replied on the back end of a sigh, of a sleepy satisfied hum, words slightly slurry with how close to falling asleep he already was.

This was the good stuff.

All warm.

All cosy, toasty and so stupidly comfortable.

His face in your neck and your body surrounded by all of his.

Sheer bliss.

“I’m moving tomorrow.”

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Hold On

Summary: Maddie finds Reader on the bathroom floor after Reader attempted. The 118 receive the call as she is one of their own & then wait at the hospital with their family. Meanwhile, Reader is reminded of all her people & why she can’t give up. 

TW/CW: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNSURE IF YOU SHOULD!!! I'd rather you skip the read than get put in a bad place... Suicide Attempt, Reader's Bio Parents Are Dog Shit, Eddie Diaz x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst 

Requested?: No  

Word Count: 5,236

A/N: This was hella therapeutic to write. I’m not okay mentally but I’m working on it & writing this helped me take a step back from THAT area of my mind. I have my own real-life people that would play in my Movie Theater (this reference will make sense once you read it) & I watch that instead of venturing into the darkness. I’m sure it may not be entirely medically accurate. I apologize if it ever switches tenses weirdly or when it shouldn’t, I kind of confused myself with certain parts lol. Anyway, I just want you to know dear reader, you are loved, you are wanted, you are needed. If you ever need someone to talk to my dms are open. Love to all! Requests are open! 

--- Third Person POV ---

     Maddie found it odd that your home was silent when she walked in. You can't stand silence, even when you're sleeping there's soft lo-fi playing. It wasn't unusual for your friends to let themselves in but Maddie always at least knocked first. Usually that prompted you to rush to the door to meet her when it opened. You were nowhere to be seen. Maybe Buck was right. He had asked her to check in on you because he had a bad gut feeling. If he wasn't stuck at work, he'd have checked in on you himself.  

     Maddie set her purse and keys down on the kitchen counter, "(Y/N)?" No response. She made her way through your small apartment. She checked each room with no luck before finally making it to the guest bathroom. She knocked softly but hearing no response she opened the door. She immediately let go of the knob as her hand flew to her mouth in shock. She rushed to your side, "(Y/N)? Hey, wake up!" Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she hurriedly pulled her phone out to dial 911 and scanned the room around her. 

     "911, what's your emergency?" she recognized the voice immediately. 

     "Josh! It's (Y/N)! Send the 118," Maddie responded quickly as she checked over your vitals. 

     "Maddie what's going on?" Josh asked, the worry clear in his tone.

     As she continued her attempts to wake you, she explained, "There's so many medicine bottles scattered around, a nearly empty bottle of liquor, and a bunch of crumpled pieces of paper, Josh. She's barely breathing and her pulse is extremely low." 

     On the other end of the line, Josh was in pure shock, "Maddie did she-" 

     "Yes, Josh. She did," Maddie sobbed, tears streaming down her face as she still tried to wake you. The sirens approaching told her that help was close, "I hear the sirens. I gotta go." 

     "Okay, just keep me posted," Josh replied. 

     "I will," Maddie answered as she heard the front door open and hung up the phone. In seconds, Buck was pulling her out of the room holding her securely in his arms even though he so desperately needed to be in there helping save his best friend. Bobby watched the two make their way to the living room from outside the bathroom door as he held tight to Eddie's shoulder. He had dropped to his knees on the cold, hard, tile floor while gasping for breath between sobs and collected your hand in his. Hen and Chimney set to work on stabilizing you for transport to the hospital, forcing the tears to stay inside until they got you there. 

     As they wheeled your still body out with all kinds of equipment hooked to it, Maddie jumped up from the couch and ran to grab her keys and purse, "I'm riding with her." The team didn't argue as they made their way out. Once they had you safely loaded onto the ambulance, Chimney helped Maddie into the back, kissing her hand to say goodbye as Hen made her way to the driver's seat. Eddie climbed into the back to take over for Chimney. His hands were shaky as he checked your vitals over and over again, silently begging you to wake up right then and there. Begrudgingly, Buck and Chimney followed Bobby to the fire truck.  

     Maddie's heart raced as she held your hand gently. Eddie took a split second away from tending to you to wipe the tears rolling down his cheeks, "She'll be ok," he said more to himself than Maddie. 

     Her heart broke, "She's obviously not been ok for a long time, Eddie. How did none of us see it?" 

     From the front, Hen answered, her own tears threatening to blur her vision, "(Y/N) seems to think she has to fight her battles alone. She always has." 

     Back in the fire truck it was silent until Chimney finally spoke up, "Why didn't she say something?" 

     Bobby responded from the driver's seat, "I don't know, Chim. All I know is what we can do which is be there for her when she makes it through this." 

     Buck couldn't bring himself to look up from his boots, "Did anyone else see the note on the counter?" They all thought about those two simple words, I'm sorry. Fresh tears began to make their way down Buck's cheeks as Chimney wiped his own. Bobby took a deep breath as they pulled up at the hospital. 

     Everyone piled out of both vehicles as Eddie and Hen removed you from the ambulance and wheeled you toward the entrance. As they handed you off to the doctors and nurses, informing them of everything they could, every one of them were fighting to stay put and not pass those glass doors. 

     A few hours later, the team finally finished their shift. Maddie and Eddie had stayed at the hospital to keep everyone informed and for the sake of their own sanity. No one else had said a word about the event that had occurred. They were all replaying and processing that span of time. Having heard about everything from Maddie, Carla had offered to pick Jee and Chris both up from daycare and school to take care of them for as long as their parents needed. Karen, who had heard about it from Maddie as well, told Hen to do what she needed to do but let her know as soon as Hen needed her or she and the kids could visit. The team piled into Bobby's truck and silently rode to the hospital. 

     When they arrived and found Maddie and Eddie in the waiting room, a group hug was formed. They leaned on each other as they all desperately hoped that a nurse or doctor would approach to let them know you were okay and awake. 

     Meanwhile, in your quiet hospital room, a nurse took your vitals as you lay there still motionless. Your heart rate and oxygen had come up but were nowhere near where they should be for a young, healthy, firefighter. Somewhere in your unconscious mind there was a song playing. For as long as you could remember, Hold On by Chord Overstreet had always made you cry. It brought to mind the people in your life that would miss you if you were gone. Sure, those people changed in and out depending on where you were in life but this time it was the faces of your friends, your family. As the song played, memories also played on a big movie theater screen. You sat in the seats alone. 

     The first day you walked into the 118 firehouse started the movie. The smile on Bobby, Hen, and Chimney's faces when you tripped over a bench before stumbling through introducing yourself. They introduced themselves as well before motioning for you to join them upstairs for lunch. You had instantly clicked with them and they quickly became like family to you. 

     Next came the day you met your best friend, Buck, shortly followed by every single time anyone had referred to the two of you as "the dynamic duo". Then came every time you had looked at Buck and "thought what would I do without him". Buck had been your crutch through so much pain and heartache. The two of you were two peas in a pod from the very beginning. He was someone you could always depend on to be there and you were someone he could always trust to never judge him for who he is. 

     Meanwhile, the doctor has finally let a few people at a time visit, he said no more than three for now. Every one insisted that Bobby, Buck, and Eddie go first. As soon as they opened the door, tears started trickling again at the sight of your motionless body. Buck tore his eyes away from you and looked around thinking for a few seconds before walking right over to the table at your side to pick up the remote and turn the tv on at a low volume, "She hates silence." Bobby nodded, offering an attempt at a smile as he placed his hand on Buck's shoulder. Eddie still stood at the door, staring at you.  

     Bobby noticed and stepped to his side, gently tugging his arm to place him beside the heart monitor, "It's beating, Eddie. Let that bring you some hope." Eddie looked up at the line on the screen before nodding and pulling up a chair to your side. He gently took your hand in his, staying mindful of the IV, and kissed your knuckles. Bobby made his way over to your other side and brushed your hair from your face. He took a deep breath as he listened to the steady beeps. The silence was broken by Buck, "You gotta come back to us, (Y/N) ... We need you." The three sat in silence for a few more moments before Bobby gently pulled Buck back to the waiting room so another two could visit. 

     Back in the theater, Maddie made an appearance next. The day you met, all the fun outings the two of you had, the gossip sessions and boy talk, all of it flashed across the screen in chronological order. She was like a sister to you. Growing up a single child, you never knew what that was like until Maddie came along. 

     The first time you ever saw Eddie played, the man who would turn the dynamic duo into the three musketeers and later become the love of your life. You watched as several different occasions of you, him, and Buck taking Chris out for an adventure. Then Chris became the focus. That kid had taught you a lot in the few years you'd known him. Every lesson played in succession. 

     Following Chris and Eddie came several other people that had made a positive impact in your life. Faces like Jee-Yun Buckley Han who you always referred to as your niece, Athena Grant-Nash who you looked upon as a mother figure, May Grant who you dubbed as your little sister and always looked out for, Josh Russo who always had the best non-biased advice, Carla Price who you knew your small family could never live without, and several others. Behind them came everyone who had ever thanked you for saving them in their time of need. Many faces that you didn’t even realize you remembered said thank you over and over again. As the final chorus and bridge played, specific moments showed in time with the lyrics. 

Hold on, I still want you. 

     The night you turned up on Bobby and Athena's doorstep crying so hard you couldn't see because your parents had both told you that they never wanted to see you again for supporting your friends who were part of the LGBTQIA+ community. They had welcomed you in and comforted you, making sure that you knew without a doubt that, "We would happily call you our daughter if given the chance.” From that night on, their names in your contacts were Momma Athena and Captain Dad, formerly Athena and Captain Nash. The next morning, you woke up on their couch to the smell of waffles and sausage. When you shuffled into the kitchen, Bobby gave you a great big grin and insisted you join them for family breakfast with May, Harry, Michael, and David. 

Come back, I still need you. 

     The day Buck turned up on your doorstep begging you to come back to the 118 after having been transferred against your will, "I feel like I'm gonna go insane without you there. You're the glue that holds my dumbass and the rest of the 118 together." Not to mention, "Don't get me wrong, Eddie's great but I need my other best friend back. We can't be the Three Musketeers without you." He declared that if you wouldn't talk to your Captain about transferring back, then he would and he wouldn't leave until the man put in the transfer request. Knowing damn well he'd do just that, you promised to talk to him the next day and sure enough you were soon transferred back which you to this day believe Bobby and Buck both had something to do with because your Captain was adamant that he wasn't going to transfer you. 

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. 

     The time that Hen and Chimney patched you up after Gerard made a stupid call and sent you into a burning building even though you had just gotten over bronchitis. They both fought tooth and nail to keep from giving him a piece of their mind. Chimney promised, "I'm gonna make him regret putting you in danger like that," and he did. He made Gerard's life a malicious compliance hell until he was finally gone and you all had Bobby back. Hen was always Mother Hen-ing you after that. She never let anyone do you wrong if she had anything to say about it and she would always be first to bat when it came to patching you up, "Ah ah, don't touch her. That's my firefighter that needs patching," was common when Chimney or another station's medic got to you before her. 

I swear to love you all my life. 

     The night Eddie found out that Chris had been calling you Mom and insisted you come over to talk. With Chris in bed, the two of you sat on the couch. Eddie cleared his throat, "I've fought with myself for a while now about how I feel about you. You're my friend and coworker. I shouldn't feel the need to scream I love you and kiss you until neither of us can breathe. I shouldn't need you in my life as much as I do," he paused, "But after finding out that Chris calls you Mom, that he loves you as much as I do, I don't care. I understand if you don't feel the same but I love you, (Y/N)." The two of you made eye contact before you told him you felt the same and began a beautiful relationship. 

Hold on, I still need you. 

     Several different occurrences that always stuck out in your memory of someone thanking you after a call. One in particular, a teenage girl whose mother had to call 911 after finding her in a bathtub of her own blood. She barely made it but you talked to her the entire time the medics were stabilizing her to keep her awake. You made sure to check in on her at the hospital after your shift. She was smiling brightly and laughing with her family when you knocked softly at the door. Her father had stood defensively at the entrance of a stranger but her mother pulled him back, “This young lady helped save our daughter.” The girl looked at you and motioned for you to come closer. When you made it to her bedside, she took your hand in hers, “Thank you. We need good people like you in this world and I’m very glad that you’re one of the ones out there saving lives, saving mine. Please, tell your team thank you for me.” All you could do was nod and offer a smile. 

I don't wanna let go. I know I'm not that strong. 

     The day Maddie told you, "You're basically my little sister, (Y/N). I don't ever wanna lose you. You are loved beyond compare, I promise," after you confessed to her that you were struggling with suicidal thoughts. She made you promise to come to her if you ever found your mind in that place again. She said she wouldn't be able to bear the thought of having to let you go. You remember thinking that same thing when she disappeared after having Jee. You spent countless nights lying awake worrying about her. You wished you could be there for like she had been for you.  

I just wanna hear you saying, "Baby, let's go home." Let's go home. Yeah, I just wanna take you home. 

     Every time you looked around at your people and thought this is family, this is home. Several meals at the fire house, all the parties and cook outs at the Grant-Nash residence, the weddings, birthdays, and other various celebrations, the moments after you thought you'd lost one or more of them in disasters but there they were safe and sound. You knew early on that they would be there for you to the very end. Darkness and light, sickness and health, they were there, not just for each other but for you too. They gave you a place to feel safe, to feel like you belong. 

Hold on, I still want you. Come back, I still need you. 

     The screen fades to black as you sit there wondering why you ever decided to give that up. Tears stream down your face and drip onto your lap as you hope with all your might that this isn't the end. You silently beg the universe to give you another chance. 

     In the quiet hospital room, the heart monitor is now beeping at a healthier rhythm. Eddie and Bobby both now sit on either side of your bed. Everyone has come for a visit before returning to the waiting room. Buck, Maddie, and Chimney are all playing with Jee who was brought by Carla not long ago. The little girl is bringing everyone in the waiting room a bit of sunshine as she sits rotating between her mom, dad, and uncle playing patty cake. Tommy smiles brightly as his boyfriend lets Jee "win" at patty cake, up until this moment he had no idea one could win playing patty cake.  

     Across from them, Carla and Athena speak quietly as Chris sits between them. He hasn't said a word since he returned to the waiting room from his visit to you. Hen, Karen, Denny, and Mara return from the cafe with snacks for everyone, juices for the kids, and coffees for the adults. As they pass them around, Eddie and Bobby enter the waiting room, Eddie rubbing his face in exhaustion before squatting down in front of Chris, "You okay?" Hen hands the tired man a coffee as Chris stares blankly at his lap. Eddie rubs his shoulder as Bobby clarifies that the doctor and nurse needed to take a look at you to get an idea of your status but that you're still hanging in. Eddie hadn't left your room the entire time since they were allowed to visit. Bobby had returned and stayed too after everyone else had a visit. 

     Eddie places his pointer finger under Chris's chin and finally the young boy looks up, making direct eye contact with him, "I want to go see Mom again." Everyone in the room shows various signs of surprise, Chris had never called you Mom in front of anyone else besides you and Eddie. Eddie kisses his forehead before nodding as he stands. Together the two make their way back to your side. The doctor and nurse having just finished up when they enter your room. 

     Chris takes a seat in the chair that Eddie had been occupying previously, as his dad stands behind him. Chris places his hand on top of yours, prompting Eddie to place his on Christopher's shoulders. Chris tilts his ear toward the steady beeping, "It sounds better." Behind him Eddie is struggling to keep it together as he whispers, "Yeah." He takes a few deep breaths as the room falls quiet again. The beeping persists just like the tv that no one could bring themselves to turn off. In some way they're all hoping the noise brings you a bit of comfort. Chris lays his head down where his hand meets yours, "I love you, Mom. Hold on, okay?" Eddie lays his head against the back of Christopher's. As hard as he tries to keep them in, the tears force their way out even harder.  

     The two say nothing more for quite some time. At some point, Eddie made his way over to stare blankly out the window. It's only when Carla pokes her head in that he turns around and notices that Chris has fallen asleep. She notices too, "I was going to offer to take him home for some sleep but I guess he's just fine where he is." Eddie nods, "He can stay. I'm sure he'll put up a fight if we try to make him leave." She agrees and looks over at where Chris still lays on your hand, "He'll want to be here when she wakes up, but you should get some sort of rest too, Eddie." He nods so Carla takes one last look at you and Chris before leaving the room. 

     A few hours pass before Eddie is startled awake, in what was formerly Bobby's chair, by a knock at the door. He gets up, assuming it's the doctor and nurse here to check on you again, and opens the door. In front of him is neither a doctor nor a nurse, it's Bobby with a man and a woman he doesn't recognize. The two strangers almost hide behind Bobby who has a serious look on his face. He clears his throat, "Eddie, this is (Y/N)'s parents. Mr. & Mrs. (Y/L/N) this is (Y/N)'s boyfriend Eddie." The woman tries to smile and the man nods his head solemnly. Eddie clenches his jaw as he notices the lack of tears on either of their faces. He doesn't know who called them but he wishes they hadn't. Eddie takes a deep breath before stepping aside to let them in. 

     Eddie makes his way over to stand between your parents and Chris as they make their way into the room. Bobby joins him, giving him a look that says, "Please stay calm." Your parents stop at the foot of the bed, your mother holds her hand to her chest as her face contorts into a very fake look of sadness and your father wraps his arms around her seemingly in support but still neither of them even look watery eyed. Eddie's fists now join his jaw in clenching. How dare they walk in here after not speaking to you in years? Eddie knows that your real mom is sitting in the waiting room with the rest of your real family and your real dad is standing right beside him now. 

     Bobby places his hand on Eddie's shoulder and even though he doesn't want to he says, "We should give them a moment." Eddie whips his head around to look at him but finds a very serious look on his face. Begrudgingly and with gritted teeth, Eddie turns around to pick up Chris who doesn't even stir. With Bobby behind him, he returns to the waiting room with the others. He takes a seat beside Buck who looks at him with a knowing and worried look, "The hospital called them." 

     Bobby joins Athena, "And whether we like it or not, they're her parents. They made the effort to come down here so we have to make the effort to play nice." 

     "Even if they only came to save face and pretend that they care?" Maddie asks looking up from Jee who is sound asleep in her arms. She and Buck know well what type of parents you have. They've both caught themselves thinking your parents are just as bad theirs, if not worse.  

     "We can't assume the worst. We have to give them the benefit of the doubt," Bobby says, sounding like he doesn't believe what he's saying. 

     A short while later, your parents make their way through the waiting room, looking no more distraught than they did before. They try to make it to the elevator but Eddie, who shifts Chris into Buck's lap, isn't having it, "Where are you going?" he asks as he stands and steps toward them. Bobby and Tommy are both quick to stand as well and join him just in case. Your father ignores them and presses the elevator button several times. "You're seriously leaving? You just got here and she's still unconscious." 

     Bobby and Tommy each place a hand on Eddie's shoulders as your father responds, "The doctor says she's doing fine and they're just waiting for her to wake up. We've had a long drive and need to sleep." 

     Eddie steps forward but doesn't make it far as Bobby and Tommy move to block his path. He's fuming, "Why did you even come? You haven't bothered to speak to her in years. Even when you were on speaking terms, you didn't give a shit about her, only yourselves. Even now you care more about going to sleep in a comfortable bed than staying with your daughter." Neither your mother nor father say anything or even look in Eddie's direction. He motions around him, "Us? Her real family? We've been here nearly the entire time. The only sleep any of us have gotten is in a rickety ass waiting room chair or hard hospital recliner. Don't come in here pretending like you care when you clearly don't. Actually, don't even bother getting a hotel, just go home." 

     “You better watch your mouth, boy,” your father finally snaps, stomping toward Eddie, “I don’t give a damn who you are. That is our daughter in there.” 

     Bobby interrupts him in the calmest voice anyone has ever heard from him, “I think she stopped being your daughter the moment you disowned her for supporting her friends. We gave you the benefit of the doubt and you proved our instincts correct. We should’ve told you to leave as soon as you got here. Now please, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” 

     Your father stands stun locked, mouth gasping for a response. Tommy grins wide, “I don’t think they’re giving you a choice in the matter. Leave.” The three of them and the rest of their family watch as your father finally gives up and rejoins your mother at the open elevator. They leave without saying another word. Only when the elevator doors close fully do Bobby and Tommy release Eddie and return to their seats. 

     Eddie doesn’t move. He stands there trying to regain his composure. The audacity of your parents to show up has sent him raging. The doctor approaches him, bringing him back to reality. He looks to the man with every ounce of hope he can muster. Grinning, the doctor announces, “She’s awake,” looking around at the group, he continues, “She’s asking for you.” 

     Confused, Eddie asks for clarification, “Who?” 

     The doctor looks him in the eyes, “All of you.” Together, everyone makes their way to your room. Before entering the doctor ensures everyone, “I’ll let you know when you can take her home.” 

     From your bed you look up with a bright smile on your face and tears in your eyes, “I already am home, Doc. Wherever these people are is home.” As one, everyone moves to crowd around you with their own tears now falling. Eddie and Chris take a seat on the edge of your bed, letting the rest fill in the empty space. You look around you for a moment, placing your chin on Christopher’s head. In that hospital room, you make a promise to yourself that anytime you feel like giving up you’re going to listen to that song or gather everyone around you to remind yourself why you can’t give up. You need them and they want you. They are your family and home. 

     Sometime later, Chris is snuggled into your side asleep. Eddie and Bobby have both taken their chairs back on either side of you. You had insisted everyone else go home and get some sleep but little do you know several of them had gone to your apartment instead to clean it up before you get released tomorrow. You check to make sure Chris is sound asleep before reaching for Eddie and Bobby’s hands. When they quickly take yours in theirs you look between them both a couple times before looking down at Chris, “I’m sorry,” it comes out quieter than you meant it to but they both heard it clearly. 

     Bobby clears his throat speaking for the both of them since all Eddie can do is lean forward and kiss your knuckles with tears making it hard to see, “We’re just glad you’re still here, kiddo.” 

     You nod, looking up at him, “I promise I’ll go see Frank. I know you’re gonna make me take time off anyway but I want to get back out there as soon as I can.” 

     He nods with a smile on his face, “I knew you’d wanna get back on the job but I am glad you understand that it’ll take time and you need to talk to someone.”  

     Eddie nudged your chin to look at him, “Thank you for holding on. Please promise me you’ll let me know if things ever get that bad again.” You nod holding your pinky out for a pinky promise which he immediately takes. The room falls quiet again, aside from the tv that still plays. That night you drift off to sleep with Chris still curled up next to you and Eddie laying on your hand. Bobby takes a Dad Nap in his chair, refusing to go home.  

     The next morning, after what felt like eons of paperwork, you let Eddie help you down out of Bobby’s truck outside of your apartment. Then, carefully, he and Bobby help you up the stairs with Chris leading the way. Your body still hasn’t recovered fully so you’re still quite weak and achy. When you open the door to your apartment, you’re met with the sight of your smiling family, colorful balloons, and a buffet of food on the counters. Placing your hand on your hip, you give them a playfully stern look, “I thought I told you guys to go home and rest.” 

     Buck pulls you into a gentle hug, “We did. Everyone got some sleep but also pitched in to help.”  

     Athena collects you into a hug as soon as he releases you, kissing your cheek when she pulls away, “Did you really think you’d come home to an empty house? Not on our watch, honey.”  

     All you can do is smile as you make your way further into the apartment and collect hugs from everyone. When the excitement has died down, you sit carefully on a barstool at the island and clear your throat, “I just want to say thank you. You guys are always there for me when I need you. Honestly, you’re the only thing that kept me here while I was under.” You think about Bobby telling you that your parents had showed up, everything they said, and how they acted, “You guys are my family and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Everyone smiles, a few of them wipe away fresh tears, but together all of you have a good time making conversation, enjoying Buck’s cooking, and laughing about stories from the past. Every now and then you catch a story that you remember playing in that movie theater and then you realize that they probably cherish those memories just as much as you do.  

Masterlist

More 911

[kairiscorner]

MILES MORALES 1610 (girlfriend day headcanons !)

he would definitely have set multiple reminders for that day, be it on his alarm or calendar (or both) and even though he'd remind himself of this day multiple times in the past, he still can't get rid of the anxiety and excitement of showing you just how much he appreciates you on that day :D

he'd've made several greetings in advanced, many of which were rejects and deleted, some of which were accidentally deleted and he had to retype all over again 😭

like how he was during your monthsary, he'd have stayed up all night trying to get the right words he wants to say across, but ultimately, he gets sidetracked and releases all his thoughts out through his sketches.

he listens to a playlist you two made together, and i like to think that he took his favorite lines from the songs you like the most and pieced together a message from there :>

weirdly enough, on the day itself, he acted quite low-key. he carried his sketch book with him everywhere you two went, though, and you caught him in the corner of your eye doodling or sketching something but you never got to see what it was.

though when the day was ending, miles wanted to take you out to dinner, with him paying, of course. you were a little confused because his signals were kinda mixed, but of course you went anyway.

you still watched miles draw on his sketch book the whole time, looking up at you every now and then with a big grin on his face and a hint of being flustered in his eyes and smile.

you wanted to know just what exactly your boyfriend's been up to, why he's been acting so quiet and isolated when he promised you he had a big surprise today.

and so, miles hands you his sketch book with a massive smile as you took it, thinking he was just drawing you on a whole page like he did for you before, but it turns out... this whole sketch book was dedicated to you. this was a sketch book miles kept from you for a whole year, you never noticed it was a different one, one he always meant to dedicate to you on this very day.

"i hope you're surprised... if not, well, it's okay. you know, i always find reasons to fall for you and just stop sketching for a second to admire every detail about you." he says as he glances over at you with a shy grin on his face. he chuckles a little to himself and plays around with a stray fry on his plate as he wonders whether this surprise was good enough or would even be memorable to you. "sounds cheesy, a little over the top, but i... i really wanted to show you just how much i pay attention to you, not just because i'm your boyfriend or i'm just naturally observant..." he remarked with a slight laugh as he gently placed his hand on top of yours. "...but it's because i love and want to love every bit of you as if i was falling for you all over again for the first time. will you... will you let me?"

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee

[florsial]

My Rosekiller makes me laugh every time i think about them, okay here:

My Evan is Hogwarts' IT boy, it would be Regulus cuz yk Black kid and all, but the thing is that Evan is approachable, like very. He's somehow friends with everyone, shows up at every goddamn party. Everyone knows him one way or another, he is a social butterfly in a way that puts James Fucking Potter to shame sometimes. And in some magical way, I also think he managed to get into Snape's Gang, though it was more of a passing-first-name-basis-we-talk-once-a-month type of friendship.

And then you have Barty Crouch Jr. Future Minister of Magic's son. Too smart for his own good, low-key a fucking loser, loves the dirtbag aesthetic but physically cringes when obscure words are used wrong. Attends social outings but ends up standing in the corner with Regulus because the posh upbringing duo gotta stay together at all times. Also, he laughs weirdly.

They are my loser x popular ship!!

BUT!

In private, Evan is the weird/freaky one. The one whose hands are constantly itching to break apart something to see its mechanics, and how it works. Barty is his supportive boyfriend who reads underground literature and listens to his 33-hour playlist of daddy issues music. If anything, Barty is the easier one to talk to because if you pay attention to what Evan is saying, you'll probably find his exact words in a book about how to socialize, and when he thinks no one is awake, he sneaks into Barty's bed from the Forbidden Forest covered in god knows what because there is no way all that red is actually dirt.

[svtdarlingbby]

Seventeen with a gym rat s/o

Svt x gym rat s/o. aka with an s/o who loves the gym as much as these buff babes. also low-key an excuse to post seventeen gym selcas 🫣💪

Seungcheol:

I think Cheol said somewhere that he prefers playing sports vs going to the gym

valid

but since he's with you and wants to spend more time with you he finds himself at the gym

he's pretty impressed by all your knowledge of various workout machines

wanted to impress you though so he suggested lifting weights

he's surprisingly able to lift a lot

but not as effortlessly at you

you found yourself gently correcting his form so he won't get hurt

tbh it was so endearing for Cheol

you babying him was so sweet

after weights you guys decided to have a friendly competition on the stair master

Cheol thought it would be easy, I mean it's just climbing stairs right?

WRONG

he was huffing and puffing meanwhile you were still climbing the infinite stairs effortlessly

it was at that point he considered you a fitness god and told himself that he'd always go to the gym with you

the next day he was soooo sore lol he couldn't get out of bed rip

you couldn't help but laugh

still tho you were nice and rewarded his efforts with some cuddles

Jeonghan:

Jeonghan finds himself going to the gym occasionally but the gym def isn't a huge priority in his life

however since dating you he noticed how much you love going to the gym

so he figured he might as well try it out too

but omg

he's trying sooooo hard to focus on lifting AND THEN THERES YOU

looking hella hot in your gym clothes lifting weights effortlessly

is totally checking you out

and you def notice

"JEONGHAN! NO SLACKING YOU CAN LOOK AT ME ALL YOU WANT LATER BUT FOCUS ON LIFTING!"

ah right-

but he low-key uses this as an excuse to get your attention

"Y/N? is my form right?" he says as he purposely holds the weights weirdly

"Nope, you've gotta hold it like this" you say as you adjust his grasp and form

lol this menace found the perfect way to get you close to him

of course he still actually listens to you and works out

but occasionally he'll try to purposely mess up his form to get you to help if he's extra needy

doesn't care if he's sore the next day

will use this as an excuse to cuddle with you

until you use your muscles to break free of his grasp and haul his ass out of bed

this reminds him that maybe he should continue going to the gym

one day he'll have enough muscles to cuddle you all day

Joshua:

I feel like Joshua goes to the gym more often then he makes it out to be

have you seen this guy's veiny arms??

he's gotta be lifting

he's super happy about having an s/o who also prioritizes the gym

arm day with you is always his fave

just seeing your strong muscles and physique lift the heavy weights just make his heart go crazy

like ughhh mommy/daddy

so he also wants to return the favor by impressing you

puts a lot of effort into lifting, making sure his form is just right

tbh you really do serve as motivation for him

he's been getting buffer since he started dating you

he has the cutest shyest smile when you compliment him

"Wow Josh, you've got arms of steel" you say as you squeeze his bicep

if he could he would melt right there

it means a lot coming from you since you're an expert with all things fitness

def reciprocates too

like you guys would just be chilling and he'd squeeze your arm

"Damn Y/N, you're armed and dangerous"

oh lord he's such a cheeseball

Jun:

y'all did you see limbo? 👀

it's so obvious Jun has worked hard for that body

and it was so convenient that you came into his life at that point

just as he was incorporating the gym more into his routine is when you and him began to date

tbh it was so convenient and Jun really appreciates having you around

Jun doesn't know if his form is correct? don't worry he's got you to fix it

Jun needs someone to spot him when he's bench pressing? you're already there by his side

Jun is experiencing a plateau? you've already got suggestions of different new exercises to try

basically it's because of you and your support he's even more motivated to go to the gym!

also my man Jun also appreciates the view if you know what I'm saying

having you by his side makes him feel even more stronger and powerful

like "yes my s/o is a fitness buff and is helping ME while looking like a snack"

these are just his thoughts tho

in reality he's just snaking his toned arms around your just as toned form, smiling to himself

Hoshi:

ohhh you know he's gonna make you his gym buddy

I meannnnnn have you seen this mans body???

boi loves to workout

will always spot you during arm day

is your biggest cheerleader when you move up in weights!!

"OMG Y/N YOU LIFTED THAT MUCH???!! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!"

will literally hug you all sweaty in the middle of the gym lol its a little embarrassing but sooo endearing

also

the fact that you love to work out? you're prob building quite the muscles

Soonyoung isn't shy when it comes to wanting to feel your toned arms

"Whoaaaa since when did you become so buff?" he says infatuated with your arms lol

of course you feel flustered cuz this man does this even in public!!

but low-key his reactions are your motivation to keep up your progress

also he lovesss to take gym selfies

you think his gym selfies are hot? they get even better with you right next to him flexing your hard work

he feels so luckyy

overall he loves that he gets to work out at the gym with a hottie like you

Wonwoo:

I feel like Wonwoo is a subtle guy when it comes to the gym

like yeah it's so obvious he goes to the gym but the gym isn't a huge facet of his life

when he realizes that its quite the opposite for you, he sees this as an opportunity to make more of an effort to make the gym routine

tbh he's amazed at how locked in you are with a routine at the gym

so for the first few days he kinda just copies you lol

he does the same exercises and kinda lets you be

its comfortable silence really

you guys both have your earbuds in doing your own thing while being near each other

of course he'll steal a few glances at you

but he always says its to match your form lolll sure

in private though he's always teasing you in a good way about your muscles

like he'll just randomly approach you, squeeze your muscular bicep, and say something like "close the gyms" in a really deadpan voice

it's soooo cheesy lmaooo but that line never fails to make you feel flustered hehe

Woozi:

have you seen Jihoon lately?

this mans getting b u f f

and having an s/o who's a gym rat like him?

goals

whenever you're getting ready to go to the gym Jihoon always wants to tag along

"Don't you have to produce a song tonight?"

"Nah I can squeeze in a gym session"

he's mainly going because you're going lol

he's def impressed with how fit you are, knowing all the machines and having effortless form

he's like damn I wanna be like that too

ALWAYS brags about this fact to the boys when he works out with them

"What kinda machine is that?" asked one of the guys

"That's a hip abductor, Y/N is a master of that"

also whenever you two are at the gym together

he feels so much more motivated

will def wanna do exercises that involve the both of you

is always down to hold down your feet during sit ups

cardio day you guys are on treadmills side by side

Jihoon won't admit this but when you guys are taking it easy a walking on the treadmills he treats it as if you guys were on a peaceful stroll together

he also won't admit he turns into a blushing puddle whenever you notice his progress

"Dang Jihoon, you're looking buff today" you say as you squeeze his toned biceps

that's it. brb Jihoon is gonna go to the gym to keep up the progress

DK:

I know this man is gonna be obsessed with the fact that you love the gym

he def will use the gym as an opportunity to spend time with you

while also getting buff himself

Seokmin is a total goofball

I can see him asking you for "motivation" during pushups

aka him asking you to lie under him for a kiss for each successful push up

like just look at him in that pic god damn

I meannnn lets just say you both benefited from that

he's also your biggest cheerleader

like when you're lifting weights omg he got the whole gym staring at you with his cheering

"YEAHHHH YOU GOT THIS Y/N!!! WHO'S THE STRONGEST BABE HERE? YOU!!!"

"ohmygodseokminpls"

after you lift the weights he's still gonna be a goofball about it

"now lift me pls" he says holding out his arms to you

you can only roll your eyes but lift him up nonetheless

he's giggling like an idiot and you can only roll your eyes

low-key motivates you to get stronger and vice versa

he wants to pick you up too hehe

he really does make gym sessions so much more enjoyable aww

Mingyu:

man Mingyu really does work out for that hot bod of his

while he love to play sports he also finds himself working out often too

when you came into his life though he thought having you around would motivate him more to go to the gym

because you were already sporting quite the hot body yourself

while you were typically very focused at the gym, once Mingyu came along that changed

of course you always thought Mingyu was hot, but when he's working out

oh my

you feel your face somehow get even hotter despite being all sweaty from working out when you see Mingyu doing all this

WHY IS HE CAKED UP LMAOOOO

while you're over here flustered over him Mingyu gets kinda cocky lol

like when he's spotting you while you're lifting

"Whoa there Y/N, I know I'm making your heart race but you gotta take it easy" he says as he fixes your form

mannn does he make working out hard

or when you're stretching he'll purposely flaunt stretch his arms while you glare as you're trying to hold your stretch

he'll also flex and try to lift the heaviest weights ever to get your attention

thankfully his antics catch up to him as he's superrr sore the next day

but he'd happily use this as a reason for you to take the lead if you know what I mean ;)

Minghao:

Minghao has become quite the fitness buff within the past few years

I mean look at those guns!!

I remember Minghao once said that it is super hard for him to gain muscle and look at him now ughhh

and seeing you succeed with your fitness goals makes Minghao even more proud

going to the gym is like breathing for you guys

you two always go to the gym together

and since you're with Minghao, every occasion has to be a fashion statement

you two are always wearing the coolest, trendiest, gym clothes that still manage to be uniquely your styles

it makes Minghao's heart flutter every time he seeing you wearing the gym shoes he bought you

especially when you're wearing one of his old gym shirts omg this man can barely even focus on working out LMAO and he's like the biggest gym rat out of all these dudes

gym selfies are a priority

his fav ones being the ones where both of you are goofily flexing your muscles

he's always so impressed by how much you can lift too

is soooooo flustered when you lift him up in the middle of the gym

but he secretly loves it so much awww like on the inside he's giggling and kicking his feet in the air haha

but as unserious as you guys act

once it comes to working out, you guys are fitness gods

you two are so focused when you're in the zone lifting or running on the treadmill

it's impressive really

and Minghao is so thankful that you're here to make the gym more fun

Seungkwan:

Seungkwan has found himself going to the gym more often since you came into his life

you would think it's because he wants to live a healthy lifestyle

no

it's because you two are so damn competitive

ever since you told him how many minutes it took for you to run a mile on the elliptical Boo was impressed but decided to challenge you

"Oh yeah? That's pretty impressive, but I can easily do that in less time"

"Oh really?"

"Bet"

so you guys go to the gym

and for you the elliptical is nothing

you look over and see Seungkwan starting to break a sweat in the first five minutes

"Getting tired Boo?"

"Stay in your lane"

god he was so sassy lol

but beating each other in a friendly competition was how you two rolled

of course you ended up winning while Seungkwan was a huffing puffing mess, all red

"Ok I admit it Y/N, you are a fitness god"

that compliment fueled your ego lol but you weren't mean about it

"Here's the prize for second place" you said before you kissed him

"Maybe losing isn't so bad after all" he laughed and hugged you, not minding either of you being sweaty

"Haha loser, let's play some badminton?" you ask

"Always! Now we'll see whose the loser" he smirks

Vernon:

okay first of all why is he wearing denim on denim TO THE GYM??

ANYWAYS kinda like Jeonghan I don't see Vernon prioritizing the gym all that much

but once he starts dating you, he notices that the gym ends up taking a lot of your time

so he's like "heck why not go with Y/N to the gym?"

is ill prepared as you can see in the pic

"Hansol. WHY are you not in your gym clothes?"

"Hm? Oh. Right. Let me snap a pic of my fit before I change"

*facepalm*

once he's changed he's ready to go!

feels kinda lost tho with all the machines

you're about to start lifting when you see Vernon looking confused as he's trying to distinguish a dumbbell from a kettlebell

you think its kinda cute watching his eyes go back and forth between the different types of weights

but you also don't wanna patronize him or anything

"Hansol, why don't you start with a dumbbell?" you say handing an appropriately weighted dumbbell to him

at this point you kind of become like his personal trainer

at first he was just watching you to see what you did with your dumbbell and tried to do the same

once you began to guide him you could tell he was a lot more secure

and he really did look like he was enjoying the workout!

tbh the gym really strengthens your bond this way

Dino:

our boy Lee Chan is obsessed with the gym

I mean look at that body ughhhh 😮‍💨

so when he starts dating you the gym becomes practically your second homes

he's hella impressed with your strength for sure

"Whoa Y/N, how are you able to lift that much?"

he's also kinda cheeky when it comes to stealing glances at you working out

it's leg day and you're doing squats? 👀

he's super subtle about it tho cause he actually takes the gym seriously *ahem Jeonghan*

he also def tries to show off for you

when he's doing arm curls he'll def put extra effort in flexing his biceps when he sees you watching

will also act like the heaviest weights are nothing for him

pays for his cockiness the next day in the form of soreness

this becomes the perfect opportunity for you to cuddle with his muscular self

maybe the gym can wait a few more minutes hehe

[bloodreddemons]

All Hazbin Hotel Fashion Ranked w/Roasting | (imo)

(Pilot to Present)

#20 Valentino | He literally looks like he smells of alcohol, smoke, and piss. How tf has Velvette not fixed him yet?!?! This gawdy wannabe gimp getup is NOT OK... He just strolls around naked under that Santa Claus/Zebra printed Nightmare....🤡 (I like his glasses tho imma rob him)

#19 Adam | Dude be fucking having that moo moo dress ON. I find it hilarious that his army is dripped out more than he is. I mean his final battle moo moo dress was a bit better than the original but he really just walks around like a certain Ice King from one of my fav Cartoon Network shows lmfaooooo. ✝️

#18 Carmilla Carmine | Lackluster. I wasn't really wowed by either two of her looks all that much I guess. There's just absolutely no color I kinda wish they incorporated maybe more purple or something in her. Carmilla also got some BIG ass hands. Idk her design just kinda throws me off. It reminds me of something abstract.

#17 Vox | I really like his coat and just the overall palette of that electric blue situation but his shirt low-key is giving me Freddy Krueger tease lol. As well as Pyrocynical and that dude from the show "Villainous". I hope in Season 2 Vox serves us more looks and variety. He's not bad, he just obviously doesn't compare to others.

#16 Katie Killjoy | She got only like one outfit but man does it EAT. A bit cliche for a reporter but it's just still too cunty to turn down. The pearls, the cut, the makeup, fucking slay I guess. Miss Bryce Tankthrust still serving in hell is a MUST. 📣

#15 Lute | Ngl I was just shocked how pretty Lute was. That fucking face card and you hide it under a MASK?!?! Her eyelashes/eyes and that bob is just chef's *kiss* honestly and I actually really do think the angel uniforms are pretty hot as well. You just can't go wrong with a thigh high BOOT. Girls really get it done. 💯 (Keep the mask OFF!!!)

#14 Mimzy | I hate Mimzy with a passion but I can't deny flapper dresses are beautiful. Mimzy you absolutely devoured and the body is bodying Cheers, you're timeless lol. 🥂

#13 Husk | Please don't hate me guys. I love Husk and all, but ever since Alastor stole his soul he also stole his swag. Man's hasn't worn a fucking shirt since that day lmao. 🤣🤣 Like where DID his suit go??? I would be depressed and wasted too if I was him. I don't hate his design or outfit, I just think it's a bit too simple compared to the other main characters. His personality and Keith David 100% make up for it tho. ♠️

#12 Rosie | Just like Mimzy but like, tripled lmao. Just timeless beauty that never dies. Mary Poppins WHO???? My favorite is honestly probably her hat, that thing is like the crown jewel. Color palette is also kinda satisfying, I stan the pink and mauve. 🌷

#11 Emily | She's like a breath of fresh air from all the red and pink tones. The baby and periwinkle blue is so beautiful and so are her features. Them big ass eyes, the freckles, & whimsical hair. I liked her dress too. Big W's for Em. 💙

#10 Niffty | Cutieeeee. I really like her redesign compared to the old one. 1950's style of fashion is also still very appealing to me as well. The pink dress she was wearing was so fucking adorable I almost had a stroke just to see it in person. She's also weirdly gorgeous covered in angel blood. 💄

#9 Charlie Morningstar | Ngl...a lil disappointed in our girl. As the main character....to have so many just similar looking outfits with not much variety is kinda the most unsatisfying thing ever. It often feels like her fanart and photos that we rarely ever see contain better outfits than the ones that repeatedly appear in the show. However there's nothing really wrong with her final design I just sometimes really miss the old one from the pilot. I think her rounder features and the lighter pink suited her better. Final battle outfit was her best look so far tho in my opinion. 💋

#8 Sir Pentious | Sir Pentious style sorta never changed, he's still rocking that snake do-rag and that suit top that's striped just like everybody else's. 😮‍💨 I really wish they would've made Pentious' suit a floral pattern. I know stripes might have been popular in the 1800s but floral was very popular too and it'd be something different that'd still completely match his Era. I love his steam punk style and his other creative looks but his HEAVEN outfit was just the best. Saint Pentious > Sinner Pentious!! 🤍

#7 Velvette | Thank LUCI they changed and upgraded this girl bro. She was lowkey a hot fucking mess in my opinion before. Man did she come out SWINGING. Not just with looks but also personality I was floored. She's literally the Queen of hairdos and assembling, not many people can pull off that many patterns. Unique and trendy with the energy to back it up. Velvette you'll always be famous!! ❤

#6 Lucifer Morningstar | 6.6.6!!! Very few outfits but I never seen a moment where this man did not serve!! He's always got that fire ass coat on and he gives you the hatsssss. They're stylish while also telling you exactly who he is. It's like regal as fuck while also kinda simple. You don't have to think too much while ogling to just know that he's a dapper ass cHaD. ❤️‍🔥🍎

#5 Cherri Bomb | Loved all of Cherri's outfits. She fucking devoured and blown away over half the competition. She is Kesha vibes. Mama is Avril Lavigne vibesss. She just gives it to you with her punk rock, y2k, fashion. (I know she's supposed to 80s Era but still lol..) Always loved her base look but the final battle outfit and the one from the addict music video were amazing. 🍒

#4 Vaggie | Vaggie the fucking queen you areeee. Talk about versatility. She can really pull off a lot. I noticed that she experiments with her hair a lot like Velvette and I LOVE THAT. The fucking bob?!? High ponytail?!?! Great bangs and great length?!?! Vaggie teach me your wayssss. I always liked her bow and a lot of her outfits. Most of them are sexy without trying too hard. I don't think I can even pick a favorite but I'd probably go with final battle outfit and also her angel gown because that is just too cute lol. 💅🏼

#3 Alastor | As soon as Alastor popped up on scene he was fucking slaying. Literally definition of "pink is cute but red is sexy". He got those sharp ass acrylics ON and his coat is fabulousy spooky lmfao. He also went from being bed bug red to....even more red and sharper (because that was some how possible) lol. Red and black is always an amazing combo and his deer-like appearance is kinda appealing even tho it's a demon lol. I'd venture to even say he's probably the most fashionable Overlord. He's just eye catching and has that AURA. Maybe it's because he's an ancient relic with very peculiar cLaSs but it's really working for him. Keep going you psycho I will see you in hell lmao. (Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka called 🍓💀)

#2 Angel Dust | FUCKING KING SHIT. He just serves every time without fail. He has a whole wardrobe and they all fucking bang. The clothes are sexy, the makeup is sexy, the AURA is sexy. AND IT SHOULDN'T BE TRIFLED WITH!!! It's really sad because he spends so much time to "get pretty" for pieces of shit, but it doesn't take away Angel's talent to pull of so many gorgeous and hot things. Angel will always be a standout icon and I bet Heaven will look SO good on him. 💗

#1 Lilith (Probably lol) | We barely seen her, but I just KNOW she'd devour. Point. Blank. Period. lmfao. 👑♀️

[florencetypemaniacs]

NSFM

Lets say Mc sends a selfie (nude) to the Ro's. What's the reaction to MC "accidentally" sending a nude to them. Lol (pre-relationship for the drama of course)

Crushing STAGE

💛 Marcel 

His eyes would brighten when he saw the text message pop up, and when he opened it, his mouth fell open and a red tint hit his cheeks. 

He would retype five flirtatious messages before sending them.

"I don't think you meant to send this to me." And he would try to play it off, but low-key, I would look for signs that you were interested in him. 

🧡 Margaret 

Are you trying to kill her? Would see the message and throw the phone As far as she could. Wouldn't be able to talk to you or even look at you. She would just gaze around the wall and imagine you—without clothes. 

❤️ Owen 

His eyebrows would raise, and he would grip the table. It would take everything in him not to go and find you, to make you see what you were doing to him. 

Owen would shake his head and call you, not waiting for you to talk before saying. 

"Did you mean to send that, Lass/Lad/Duck." His voice was rough with arousal. 

He wanted to win whatever this game was. 

💙 Rosemary

Her eyes roamed your figure before she texted. 

"Do you expect me to show you mine, dollface/angel face/handsome? I don't think you would be able to handle it." 

She kept the red off her cheeks but not the smile. She hasn't felt this way before in so long. Lust was common and even expected, but the desire to hold you was not. 

Rosemary would sigh and ask herself. 

Am I strong enough to do this again? 

🩵 Tai

Tai's eyes would go wide as he stuttered out a response. His patients looked at him weirdly as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and tried to calm his body down. 

Would call you afterward when he took a cold shower, berating you for sending that willy-nilly and telling you to be more careful. 

💚 Zane 

Zane would grin as he put the picture in his saved files before texting you. He wanted you. The sexual attraction was there from the start, and the other feeling he had...can be buried. 

To have you under him. On top of him. Begging.

"Why send pictures when I could have the real thing?" 

[pilot-boi]

All this focus on v9 Twins lately, time to go the other direction. Leading up to Beacon Initiation, Yang is inexplicably panicking. She's a fraud, her grades(literally top marks at Signal) aren't good enough. She's a faker and everybody is going to find out. Oh god the anxiety on this bullhead is going to make her throw up, just like that weirdly familiar blonde guy. For the entirety of initiation she's fearing for her life... even if mid-way she suddenly feels more complete than ever before.

YEA

Oh my god Jaune’s Initiation jitters filtering over to Yang is such a good idea

And they’re not constant, they come in waves. The airship, Ozpin’s speech, 2 AM for some un godsly reason, the cliff overlooking the forest-

God the launch

Yang is fine when she’s launched, the joy of soaring through the air is almost enough squash the foreign feeling of panic, but that’s all thrown out the window a few seconds later when oh my gods oh brothers this is it tHIS IS IT SHES GOING TO DIE SHES GOING TO SPLATTER ON THE GROUND LIKE A PANCAKE WHY DID SHE THINK SHE COULD DO THIS SHES SUCH AN IDIOT-

And there’s a jarring jerk in her stomach like she just slammed Bumblebee’s brakes, and she lands unceremoniously in the branches of a tree

Yang has no fucking idea what to make of any of it, and it’s so strange that she just has to sit for a while and get her thoughts in order. There’s Grimm in the forest, she can’t afford to be distracted

She’s used to some anxiety before tests or stuff, even sweeps of happiness or fear during situations that don’t call for them, but this is ridiculous. She’s never felt panicky about landing strategies or like a fraud every time someone mentions they’re training to be Huntsmen

But even weirder is the feeling that… this is RIGHT. The emotions fit her soul like a glove, like a key in a lock, like two gears that were made for each other. They don’t feel intrusive in any, the way she’s felt some Semblances mess with her perception

For all intents and purposes, these feelings are HERS, and she doesn’t know what to make of them. She never has, even after feeling them for seventeen years of life

She’s pretty sure it’s a side effect of the physical nature of her Semblance, and she knows better than to ask her dad about it. He always just gets quiet and withdrawn whenever she mentions offhand an injury she didn’t get or feeling a swell of sadness while eating ice cream

The emotions cool off for a while, just a low rumbling of anxiety and fear keeping her from cracking the normal jokes she would to blow off steam. She meets her partner, Blake, and their eyes meet across the clearing. Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet

They’re walking through the forest when there’s a sharp crack of pain across Yang’s cheek. Her Aura flares instinctively, but there’s no injury to heal.

Blake is worried, but Yang tells her everything’s fine. Because it is. This sort of thing has been happening all her life

But then the emotions seem to clarify and focus into sharp relief, and it’s like a fog she never knew she was seeing through is finally blown away. (Jaune unlocking his Aura) She staggers backwards and Blake nearly has to catch her as the overwhelming feeling of right safe complete light family washes over her like a tidal wave

She has no idea why, but for some reason, her soul is singing with joy

[applepixls]

my heart goes out to episode 3 secret life grian because I'm kind of living it right now (watch out peeps, low-key a vent incoming!)

in a stream after the big win scar says he's not sure if he could do it again, the whole being alone and having no friends thing and i kind of know what he means. as a real person its hard not having friends because you have no emotional support or people to connect with etc etc etc. in game it was hard not having friends cause he couldn't lean on anyone for resources and always had to leave home and manufacture interactions for content rather than being able to multitask and go caving with a friend (like the "i left my diamonds right here!" bit in last life with grian and mumbo. its just a mundane task but the interaction has become iconic)

but we're talking about grian now. just- the state of this man. i related a little bit too much to him in this episode. he made the diagonal staircase creature the episode before and said it looked like his brain; mush. but then in episode 3 ended up getting the task to follow his old buddy from the previous season around and just having joel go "ok lol lame. this is awkward. we're not really best friends, he's just following me around" (disclaimer: i know its just for the bit and they're good friends irl) and then to have joels new best bud (aka lizzie his irl wife-) go "HAH! you got no fri-endsss~!" (this lives rent free in my head lol) and tease him the following is a compilation of moments i related to having recently drifted from a close friend of several years :) - watching joel bond with the mounders from afar and having him just go "one second grian, we're bonding" when just one season ago they would bond and say who was boogeyman or not at the beginning of episodes - finally thinking he's got a friend because of his task, joel saying he'll "let [him] know" when he takes damage and how much and "oh, you don't want me to hang out with you?" "no but you can go hang out at the top of the helter skelter alone if you want". thinking he had a friend to turn out he didn't. (its then still socially okay and funny that he refused to leave joel alone because its all a bit for the episode) - "he's my pet" "i think we're friends. i think we're best friends" the thinking we're best friends not being mutual - "one moment, grian" as grian's trying to talk to him and joels just doing his task. its the being put off as a second priority over other friends (made me weirdly frustrated despite knowing its all made up silly improv-d conflict between grown adults who are actually friends) - "heard something about a group of friends, maybe I'm now a part of it?" its socially kind of weird to do this irl but the. knowing a bunch of people you know are a like Friend Group and wondering why you're not included - "not even this enderman wants to be my friend! im gonna cry" not that relevant just felt silly and relatable - "am i just here to clarify rules; you guys don't want to be friends?" serving a functional purpose to a group, no ones actually finding you just for you and to chat and be friends (I've gotten messages from friends just needing me to settle arguments between other friends) - (after chanting fail at mumbo) "its just me, this is why i don't have friends" the finding yourself cringe at every turn and thinking wow this is why no one likes me. yknow as im typing this im thinking "wow this is why i have no friends, isn't it? im on tumblr using it as a diary rather than making friends and speaking to them about my issues or finding a therapist to work through my insecurities." - throughout the episode just hating everything he created and wanting to destroy it - the stairs and even later the egg (not relevant to having friends. well kind of but not really. but loneliness can make you act crazy its just the art block and frustration and disappointment in yourself and your failure to have a vision and properly bring it into fruition) - "i definitely won't back down on this, I'm committing fully to the egg" i have a bad habit of running away from friendships when i get scared of any slew of things or just don't like them anymore, hence why i no longer have friends :) - the fact each time he finds something, anything, to pull him away from his whole being alone thing and distract him for any amount of time he goes and dives full in but the conversation always comes back to how he has no friends. - feeling like you'll never be capable of creating and committing to long lasting healthy relationships like everyone else seems to be, settling for short term slightly toxic (joel literally didn't want to be his friend) ones just to have someone to be around. smth smth, "we accept the love we think we deserve."

i'd originally rewatched scar's secret life and thought it would make me sad cause he spent the whole time being alone but scar never made much of a big deal of being lonely and just made comments like "that's not right. how did the guy with no friends win?" feeling like he didn't deserve the win which echoes pearl in double life saying "this wasn't supposed to happen. i wasn't supposed to have friends" like she was scared of making bonds after being rejected by both martyn and scott at the beginning and like she was actually crazy and surely deserved them both leaving and didn't deserve friends but that pattern is an entirely other thing to dig into

when i first watched secret life as it was coming out (October to December 2023) i thought i was on good terms with this friend or was at least deluded and distracted enough to think that. i haven't rewatched grian's perspective since realizing our friendship was all falling apart at the beginning of this year (mostly in march) and then running away from some other friends and becoming a weird little egg on my own. its funny how grians made up improv'd loneliness can echo real loneliness, isn't it?

im very happy he got adopted by cleo and etho the next episode.

[collidescopeeyes]

Random Relationship Headcanons: Viego

- Wants to be near you literally all the time. Loves physical contact and will find any excuse to get it.

- He physically can't blush, which is a tragedy because otherwise you could see how flustered you make him :( you still catch him just staring at you with open adoration so it's ok though

- Gives you privacy if you ask for it but his default state is wanting to be around you. Kind of guy who would be thrilled to watch paint dry with you cuz it means you get to spend time together. Will follow you around until you pay attention to him, 100% sulks if neglected for too long but can't stay mad at you for long.

- Gets jealous easily but is working on not being so possessive, so he just gets clingy(er) if he's feeling insecure. It's kinda cute.

- Low key gets freaked out if he doesn't know where you are. His last love died painfully in front of him ok he's got Trauma

- Can tell immediately if there's something up with you, pls talk to him about it, he worries and he just wants to help

- Likes to read, from romance novels to historical texts. Goes through surviving texts from Camavor frequently, trying to jog his memory. Keeps a journal now, in case the mist takes any more memories. A lot of it is prose about how pretty you were today, a fair hand at sketching too.

- Likes animals, especially dogs and horses–royal hunts were a big family event growing up. Animals do not like him anymore, the mist makes them uneasy. It makes him sad sometimes :(

- Has strong opinions on wine and ballroom music. Will talk about the composition of a symphony for hours if you let him. Would love to teach you to dance.

- Used to care a lot about how he dressed, but those memories are still pretty fuzzy and he doesn't really think about it anymore–dying kinda puts vanity into perspective. Likes dressing you up though, and will definitely dress to match if you're going somewhere. He likes the idea of coordinated outfits.

- Gets moody occasionally, it all gets a bit much for him sometimes and he starts thinking about all his fuck ups. Alternates between sad and self-blaming to frustrated and kinda bitchy, but does his best not to take it out on anyone. Instantly feels bad and apologizes if he says anything out of line. Give him time, cuddles and reassurance and he'll start feeling better.

- Can't sleep without you in his arms. Doesn't choose to sleep often anyway (he gets bad nightmares), but will happily lay there all night watching you sleep. Doesn't like to admit that though bc he knows it's kinda weird.

- Doesn't need to eat or sleep or drink, but likes doing it anyway. The other wraiths in the isles are shadowy mist creatures because they're souls the mists have taken, and the bodies are somewhere else. Viego’s situation is closer to him ACTUALLY being the crown and just possessing his own body constantly, sort of like he'd possess anyone else’s. He's still technically undead though so his only real bodily need is the magic that's keeping him walking around

- The crown can't be moved, his head just moves with it. It's sort of like horns, except they're not actually attached to his head. Yank him around by it ;). He can demanifest it if he tries but it makes him feel numb and weirdly claustrophobic

- Speaking of, is claustrophobic. Man was trapped in a sword for like a thousand years; he was only quasi aware that whole time, kind of like having a nightmare or sleep paralysis, but it still makes him uncomfortable. Doesn't come up much since he just kinda mist teleports out if he starts feeling cramped. If it's ever for some reason necessary he will be holding you like an emotional support stuffy and you won't get a choice about it.

- His tears are black and dissipate into mist after a bit. It's very goth. Can control the amount of mist pouring from his heart; at its thickest it's almost like a small waterfall.

- Lets you put your fingers in his chest hole exactly one time. It was so cold you couldn't actually feel anything. He described it as akin to someone squeezing his heart.

- He can float but it takes concentration and he honestly prefers just walking. Also, he's tall asf. You need something off a high shelf, he's your man.

- His sense of temperature is fucked. He can tell if something's hot, but if you hand him an ice cube and a piece of wood he can't tell which ones colder without looking. Worries his hands are too cold for you since you always feel warm to him (they're not)

- Looking at his reflection weirds him out, and sometimes you catch him staring at his hands. Man doesn't have an introspective bone in his body though so he couldn't tell you why, but really he only sort of remembers what he used to look like and sometimes the dissonance gets to him.

- In the far far future of TIARW some of the restored shades will choose to stay in the kingdom, since apparently Viego was beloved by the people before his wife died and he went fully off the deep end. Viego gets the opportunity to redeem himself to his people and kingdom, and another shot at being king but older and wiser now. With you as his queen, he swears not to make the mistakes of his past and to rule with the best interests of Camavor in mind. Maybe I'll write an epilogue along those lines at some point.

NSFW (under cut)

- Look he's perma stuck in honeymoon phase he's Thirsty

- High libido. A menace if you let him be but 100% respects if you aren't feeling like it, he knows he can be a bit much. Does need lot of physical intimacy but that doesn't need to be sex necessarily, he just likes making you both feel good

- Despite this, doesn't jerk off much. It's being with you that gets him going, not that he specifically wants to get off

- He doesn't get tired. Like ever. 0 refractory, will just go until either you tap out or he's so overstimulated he can't anymore. Watching his cum drip out of you just gets him so worked up though so it's a vicious cycle

- He's got a filthy mind and will have you every which way he can think of, in every room you'll let him. Fav position is probably you riding him cowgirl though; he likes the view

- Likes leaving lovebites, but he lowkey feels bad if he bruises you by accident. He gets carried away and forgets his strength sometimes, you'll have to convince him you're fine. He heals too fast for you to leave marks on though, it's tragic :(

- He's touch starved, we all know this, he was trapped in a sword for a thousand years. In particular though, his neck is very sensitive, as well as his thighs and lower back. Doesn't like the area around his chest cavity being touched. Loves having his hair pulled.

- He's got experience. He was a heartbreaker in his youth and he figures out exactly what you like uncannily quickly

- Love love loves going down on you, he loves watching you and he gets to make you feel good, doesn't even care if he cums as long as he gets to eat you out

- Boss him around, he loves it when you take charge. Loves being both praised and degraded, will try so so hard to be good for you. Edge him until he cries, make him cum over and over, yank him around by the crown and tell him what a pathetic cum drunk slut he is, he'll take it all and beg for more <3

- Not specifically dommy so if you aren't taking the reigns he's the perfect combination of loving and so horny he can't think straight. Tells you how pretty and perfect you are while he makes a fucking mess of you.

- He's so loud. If he's not telling you how good you feel or how perfect you are, he's moaning and whimpering and swearing. Ask him a question and watch him struggle to put a coherent sentence together in real time.

- If you want to give him a task you know he'll fail, tell him to keep quiet. Fucks it up immediately and he gets SO upset, full tears in eyes begging to make it up to you.

- Will happily do whatever makes you both feel good, willing to try most things you want to. Hard limits, wouldn't like saying mean things or hurting you even as part of a scene (receiving tho, yes pls). Also, very mixed feelings about doing it anywhere anyone could ostensibly see you–on one hand everyone should know you're his and he's yours, on the other he'd have to kill them. It would be the only way, they gotta die.

- Aftercare is a must, whole nine yards, hot scented bath and cuddles and affirmations all around.

[venuscrashed]

Hi there!

Can I maybe get some Hc of the demon brothers with a male Alastor (from Hazbin hotel) like reader (maybe reader is a demon, but not from the devildom, but from actual hell?) Kinda want to keep this short, so here= Reader always has his staff/mic thing with him- no matter where he is. Reader basically always wears old-fashioned suits, has Alastor's sharpish teeth, and is basically always smiling (like Alastor does). How would the demon brothers react to first meeting reader? What would they think of reader at first? How would they act towards reader at first/and after they became friends (or dating, either is fine c:)? Sorry if this is long. I hope ur having a nice day/noon/night :]

low key never watched the show so sorry about that

word count: 1k (total)

warnings: death mentioned in Belphies part, it sucks, literally pulled this out from the back of my closet, gn reader, tags are to reach a wider audience btw

Lucifer: He actually didn’t know what you looked like considering you stuck to the radio. It worried him but nonetheless he was intrigued by your style. The old fashion suits and the staff reminded him of how humans were before he fell. He was also captivated because he could fell the pride in you, your ego was never shown but he could sense the way you felt superior around others. After you become friends he mainly sticks to his office but does hang out with you from time to time. Whether it’s buying you more suits, because you guys basically have the same style, or are off doing stuff for others. Once you guys date he is so smug and your guys superiority complex combined tires out everyone. Even Diavolo is leaving the room when you two are together. 

Mammon: Was absolutely disappointed when he heard he had to babysit you but when he saw you… Thought you were made of money when he first saw you. The old, EXPENSIVE, suit and the staff…there were dollar signs in his eyes. He would be sucking up to you all for that credit card. That smile did creep him out though…He’d get so greedy from just your attention. Is absolutely smitten once you two become friends. Plus, he uses that as an excuse to steal your mic and basically scream in it for hours. Once you start dating, oh god is he flustered. Like “yeah that's my rich, expensive human. Yeah they smile weirdly but it makes me weak in the knees” Is always begging for some money, if you can buy those suits you can spare a couple hundred thousand grimm right?

Levi: Was absolutely disappointed when he had to be there. He was playing games the whole time but once he saw you he was shocked. You lowkey reminded him of this rich dude that wanted to be a detective in this anime but more creepy like, you know? Would absolutely avoid you though, you’re creepy alright. That smile just sends shivers down his spine. Once you become friends he would absolutely be jealous about the size of the crowd you bring in. Why are you so charming? Would also absolutely use your mic for his gaming sessions if his broke and didn’t come within the 15 minutes he ordered it. Once you start dating he would convince you to cosplay with him. He finds some duo or couple that has similar fashion to you and he would just buy(steal) the outfit from you.

Satan: Why was he here again? Oh right he was forced to, much to his dismay. Out of all of the exchange students there(since he most likely never met Simeon, right? idk) you were the most interesting. You remind him of the one of the detectives in his books with that outfit. He tried to impress you when you two first met, can’t have you looking down on him now. I also feel like he would actually like your big smile. Once you two are friends he steals your mic to go and prank Lucifer. 9/10 times he also stole a piece from your wardrobe. When you guys are dating people also steer clear of you two. Since you’re always attached at the hip, nobody stays near you. Scary dog energy from the both of you. He’s the “run if he starts smiling" type and you're the “run if they stop smiling” type.

Asmo: Really just wanted to see the new human exchange students. Was drawn towards you. The style, the staff, the smile, everything. Would absolutely try to charm you and when he fails it actually hurts him. Even before you guys are friends he would steal your clothes. For the “aesthetic” you know? Once you guys are friends he tries and gets your dental routine, he’s lowkey jealous about how white there are and pointy. He’s always hanging off of you and swearing you’ll protect him. When your in his room he’ll steal the mic and start “serenading” you with whatever song. When you guys date he is so in love. Never shutting up about you and Always bragging about you to his two brothers. “And they are so good looking” “We know asmo” “Their smile is amazing” “We know Asmo” “And their eyes…” “We live with them to Asmo”

Beel: What should he have for lunch today? Was staring at you the whole time they were explaining where you were and why. No thoughts behind those eyes type of look. Likes your style, also reminds him of how humans used to be which also reminds him of his sister. If he ever got crumbs on your suit he would feel so bad. “I’ll get it dry cleaned” “Beel it’s fine” “No” He would stop eating around you just to keep the suit clean. Once your friends though he does start eating but is careful. He will always hold it against himself. I’m convinced he tried to eat the mic at one point when he was tired and delirious. When you two start dating he focuses on your teeth more. He has sharp teeth too, but yours are better. Smiles when you smile and gets all giddy when he sees.

Belphie: Was in the attic being delulu again, what else is there to do? When he saw you through the door he was like “you gotta be kidding me” He likes the style, looks too much like Lucifers, although you wear it better. When he kills you he feels bad, obviously. “Can I buy you a new suit” “It’s fine Belphie” “Let me buy you a new suit” “I said it’s fine” “I’m buying you a new suit” Once you two are friends he steals your mic. Gets someone to scream to annoy Lucifer. Pulls so many pranks with it that he gets banned from it. Sees that smile in his nightmares, considering that was the last thing he saw before you died. It’s unfortunate that that's your permanent face too. When you two are dating he feels a bit better about it. Would wear your clothes but they are not sleep worthy, even though he can sleep in anything. Somehow the pranks get ten times worse when you two are dating, it’s a mystery what this man does. 

[jadeazora]

For the most part, I actually did rather like the BW anime rivals, and thought they were pretty solid as characters (Georgia and Burgundy were my faves tho from this series, they had such fun personalities and interactions. Burgundy especially was really funny)!

These two tho? I just couldn't stand. Trip, at least early on before his personality became a bit more fleshed out, felt a bit like a bootleg Paul, except trading the Pokemon abuse for being mildly/weirdly racist (low-key nationalistic maybe?) at Ash after finding out he was from Kanto. And I feel like I was more okay with Ash and Pikachu losing to Snivy than a lot of other fans at the time, it's clear they were off-rhythm not being able to use Electric attacks, fine, but it was embarrassing to see him keep losing after that to a rookie Trainer. (He's better than Cameron tho, but that bar is so low it's in hell.)

Cameron was a straight-up boob, between almost boarding the plane to go to Johto (where he thinks the Unova League is held, bruh, what???), not knowing how many badges he needed to enter to the point Ash and co. had to set him straight, almost slept in on the day of registration for the League and was only allowed to participate because Nurse Joy took pity on him, and then topped himself by bringing 5 Pokemon to a full battle, and this is the dude Ash lost to? Like, I wasn't expecting Ash to win in Unova, I don't think anyone really did by that point in the anime's run, but srsly??? He has some good Pokemon, but as a character he honestly just felt like a more annoying Barry. (There's also the wasted potential to tease Sylveon they could've had if it was Virgil that defeated Ash instead.)

[utilitycaster]

🔥 about each member of the mighty nein (instead of sending you a million separate asks lol)

Fjord - this is actually the only character from all of Critical Role where if someone does not like that character I am immediately done with anything they have to say. Ashton and Vex are my favorites from C3 and C1 respectively but I get not being particularly into what they're doing even if I disagree, but like, if you don't like Fjord you either have no understanding of the idea of characters being defined by their settings and narratives and vice versa and therefore you have no media analysis statements worth hearing; or you made a snap judgement based on like 20 minutes of campaign 2.

Beau - I wish the circlet had gone to Veth; I liked Beau's arc a lot but she started as one of my favorites and was later surpassed by a number of other characters and I think it was in part because I liked her getting things the hard way and also doing more with the Cobalt Soul and Dairon than she ultimately ended up doing.

Caleb - I think I kind of covered it with my post about his trauma recently, namely, I think he's a fantastic character and Liam did a great job and also whenever someone acts like Caleb is objectively correct at all times or should have murdered everyone in the assembly it's a MASSIVE red flag.

Veth - weirdly unpopular in this fandom but I like her more as a halfling. Also, I actually think arcane trickster was a phenomenal fit for Sam mechanically even though he wants more spells and would love to see him do another 1/3rd or half caster.

Jester - I feel I've covered my main one repeatedly (people LOVED to talk about her agency and the second she kissed the wrong person she was suddenly a stupid baby girl who didn't know what was good for her) so I think my other one is that as with all of Laura's characters she is much more fun, especially early on, if you lean into the fact that she does say a lot of shit that makes people really uncomfortable or annoyed instead of trying to turn this into a SHE LOVES SO HARD AND NO ONE LISTENS because both can be true, your love can come out in ways that people are very annoyed by, this is how cats feel all the time actually, and so much of Jester's arc is figuring out how to share this love in a way that other people can appreciate without losing her own personality in the process.

Caduceus - I've also covered this a zillion times but I will say it again, Caduceus deflected so many attempts to check in with him and he does not want to like, fix Molaesmyr, he was not neglected, he was built out to be a character who was more of a low-key support guy and Taliesin did an incredible job with that.

Molly - honestly my unpopular opinion remains that I simply found him very well built and a great concept and also irritating as hell, and the Nein's response to him was valid but the fandom's post-death lionization was very tiresome. I'm genuinely not sure the party could have bonded the way they ultimately did if someone who was throwing around "enthrall" like that were still around.

Kingsley - now, while I don't mind if you dislike Kingsley, acting like Kingsley and Molly are the same character is actually equal to the not liking Fjord thing; that's an instant "this person's interpretations of media are so bad I am blocking so as to not accidentally see anything they have to say."

Yasha - I'm not sure I have any unpopular opinions? I do think she is at times underappreciated but I also think specifically she is, like Caleb, a victim of the terrible and weirdly common fandom idea that the only way to move on from abuse and horror is by killing everyone and everything that hurt you rather than rejecting violence and finding your own path and your own meaning.

Essek - sticking specifically to his role in the Nein, again, I love Essek and he is a member of the party and also he is an NPC and acting deeply offended that he doesn't get the same treatment in terms of comic books or merch or appearances in one-shots is very childish.

[emsgwenstan]

Personal or professional?

Chap 2 | chap 3 | chap 4

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader.

Words: 2k

Warnings: panic attack, anxiety.

Note: what is violet making? Haha. God the obsession is becoming clear I’d say. X

———

Thursday came and went quickly, it’s currently Friday and 4 in the afternoon, with each passing day it seems to be getting colder and colder. Larissa sent me a screenshotted booking at a restaurant In Burlington reserved for 6:30, by the looks of it, its 5 star and very luxurious, she also said she’ll pick me up. I’m knocking off earlier than usual, hopefully finishing in half an hour. I sent her my address in return.

Im so excited, but I know it’s strictly a professional dinner between two adult woman, who might I add, has already shared an awkward moment that I can’t go back from. I’ll just pretend it never happened. But I wanted it to. I gathered the mahogany off cuts from the racks and placed them on my bench to start Monday, prepped the sandpaper and sander blowing out all the dust from the previous projects just to fill in time until I leave.

Dragging my bag slung over my shoulder and pulling out my hair tie to release the tension in my head, I turn off the lights and shut down the compressors finally leaving the vicinity until next week. Ducking out the front, I unlocked my car and threw in my belongings before starting the short 4 minute drive home. Regathering my things and making it to the front door I fumbled with the keys before dropping them to the ground. Not now. Short tempered me bent down, snatched the keys and practically ripped open the door.

Stepping inside placing my Keys in the dish on the hall stand, I took a deep breath trying to calm down. Wandering further into the house I made it to my room carelessly flinging my bag on the bed. I went looking for my tv remote to flick on for background noise, but of course it was no where in sight. 20 minutes of searching, I found it on the floor under my bed, irritated again, I put on a random movie and tore off my work clothes to have a shower and wash my hair, hopefully a scalp massage will help with my impending headache.

Stepping out and wrapping myself in a towel in front of the vanity, I wiped the mirror of steam just for it to re-form again, I used another towel to dry my hair as much as I could before blow drying it. My headache is mostly gone but I still have irritability in my system almost as if I’m on the verge of a panic attack, I can’t pin point the exact reason behind it, but I just need to push though and finish my hair and do my make up, I’m sure everything is going to be fine.

Doing the finishing touches on my makeup my hands start trembling wildly when I remember i haven’t eaten a thing today, probably just low blood sugar. Except my breathing becomes erratic, I walk out of the ensuite and sit on the edge of the bed for 5 minutes. Feeling up to it i pace to the dresser and pull out my underwear and slip them on and walk to my closet to find something to wear. I haven’t touched any of this for a very long time, I hardly remember what i have, most of my clothes are black with bits of burgundy and purples, possibly one or two things white or cream.

Dress after dress, skirt after skirt, blouses and pants strewn around my room and on the floor, not a fucking thing is right, isn’t what I want, doesn’t look right or good, fits weirdly. I hadn’t relised how much time i spent on looking and trying on clothes as there was a knock at the door, my stomach churned at the thought of not being ready for Larissa. I’m always on time, if not always early, I throw on a robe and hesitantly walk the length of the hallway to the door, I looked in the mirror on the wall seeing my eyes are bloodshot and a frown line indented between my brows, she’s going to be so disappointed in me.

Upon opening the door Larissa was breath taking, her hair styled in a low bun with her usual side part and dressed in a navy blue dress shorter than her normal work ones, white heels higher and a blue with white detailing coat to tie it all together, her lips painted in a darker shade of red as well as darker eyeshadow, also holding a small white purse. I could have collapsed at the sight of her, but knowing I have to face the inevitable disappointment, I clung to the door’s architrave.

“Violet… are you alright?” She asked concerned at my state. I let out a small huff annoyed at myself for causing a problem. I looked deep into her eyes telling her without words that I’m really not ok. “Come in.” I said opening the door widder for her to step in. She did, walking in past me she turned on the spot, observing, trying to understand the situation. I move toward her taking her wrist pulling her towards my room. Larissa took in the little bits she could view of my home, before I led her into the bedroom. I let go of her wrist and walked further into the messy room.

Turning to face her i splayed out my arms, gesturing to the state of everything. “None of it fits.” I said dropping my arms to my sides. “What do you mean darling?” She asked, still a little confused. “I mean every single thing in my wardrobe is to big, I haven’t a thing to wear.” I said, crouching down and pick the items of clothing off the floor angrily tossing them to the bed. Larissa walked a little further to bend at the knees and crouch down to take my hands in her own. “Violet.” She said. I didn’t stop, still trying to pick things up. “Violet stop sweetheart.” She gently commanded. At that I did, Larissa slowly stood pulling me with her and placing me down on my bed in a sitting position. She took to sitting beside me still holding my hands. “I’m sorry, I just- I just don’t have anything, I wanted to be ready before you got here an-.” I blurted. “It’s ok.” She said. “Don’t worry about it.”.

I sat in silence, until I could feel my nose go funny and my eyes starting to water. I’ll be damned letting Larissa see me cry. I shot up causing her to jump a little. “Just give me a minute sorry.” I shakily said walking briskly back into the ensuite and closing the door. I turned the tap on and looked at myself In the mirror, the tears flowing down my cheeks and a sob trying to crawl it’s way up my throat, I cover my my mouth trying not to make a noise. I was in there for about a minute not wanting to keep her waiting, cleaning the tears that have slightly ruined my make up and made mascara run all the way down my neck, I pat myself with the edge of a hand towel, turning off the tap and plastering on a smile, I re-opened the door to find Larissa had picked up most of the clothes on the floor.

She faced me with a sympathetic smile and tossed the shirt she was holding on the bed before coming up to me and stopping. Extending her hand up to my face she used the pad of her thumb to wipe a smudge of black from the corner of my eye, she used her other hand to cup my cheek and pull me into a hug. It’s been so long, it’s been so so long, I’ve missed this. Her hand wrapped around the backs of my shoulders and one on my head. I exhaled before breathing her back in, her scent, her perfume, her smell.

I pulled away not looking at her, feeling like it’s enough physical touch for now, how is it I’ve known Larissa for less than a week and she already feels like home, I don’t understand. “Just give me a moment, Ill actually put clothes on.” I said pulling out a sweater and sweat pants from the pile. Turing around I walked back towards the door stopping outside it telling her to make herself comfortable in the lounge room and I won’t be long.

Larissa complied and took a seat on the couch, she absorbed her surroundings, taking in my own decor, the large book shelf full of books, the arm chair in the corner with a tall lamp standing beside it, the large fire place with a big dark green and tan rug resting in front of it, the vaulted ceilings and simple yet elegant light hanging from one of the beams. Moving on the spot, was the kitchen behind her, the black marble bench tops secured to forest green cupboards and the same for the overhead cabinets with glass pains in the doors and little plants next to the sink in the island bench. She saw a lot of me in the rooms and smiled at the thought.

I opened the door stepping out in the old baggy clothes. Sitting next to Larissa I stared at the flames flickering within the fireplace. “I’m so sorry Larissa I didn’t plan this, I should have bought something yesterday.” I said. “What do you have?” She asked. I shifted to face her. “What?” I wondered. “What do you have in your pantry, I’ll cook something for us?” She questioned. I sat there looking at her wondering why the hell she hasn’t left angry yet. “I don’t care about going. I just hope your ok, would you like me to stay?” It was silent before I whispered. “Yes.”. Larissa pulled out her phone and obviously cancelled the booking.

I got up and opened the pantry, I could hear Larissa’s shoeless feet pad behind me and come to a stop. I took a step back letting her look for herself. She seemed to pick out a pack of fettuccine and a few things like crushed tomatoes, garlic, onion and herbs, stepping back she placed the ingredients on the bench. “Up for spaghetti?” She asked, I smiled and turned to the freezer and picked out a pack of mince. “And meatballs?” I asked. Larissa chuckled “and meatballs.” She replied.

Standing in the kitchen together was nice. She took the reins and somehow managed to make her way around, finding all the utensils, pots and pans she needed. I sat on top of the bench watching her flit about, I did ask if she wanted help but Larissa declined the offer. After a while I could tell she was getting hot and grabbed her shoulder spinning her around to face her back towards me as I peeled off her coat, Larissa let out a breath. “Thank you, I was getting a bit hot.” She laughed. I folded the coat and hopped off the bench to lay it on the back of the lounge. Walking back I stood beside her at the stove. “You know for some who has a big kitchen and makes them for a living, I hate cooking.” I stated, chuckling looking at her side profile. A grin spread across her face.

Larissa stepped back and leaned against the island bench with her hands clamped to the edges, she observed my jumper with a smirk. “Do I have something on me, is it stained?” I asked looking for possible marks. “No it’s just, the Colour… it’s violet.” She giggled. “Oh shut up.” I said rolling my eyes. “Anyway.” I started. “How was work today?” She took a moment to visibly recall her day. “It was… something.” She trailed. “I had detention with a group of four boys and it seemed to have turned into a therapy session. It was so odd, but very eye opening I guess, I didn’t expect it in the slightest.” She finished. “Wow, headmistress and therapist. What else?” I asked spinning around to pull out two wine glasses from the cabinets above me. Larissa shook her head and let out a little tsk. “God knows, I’m constantly surprised at the things that go on in my life.” She said.

“Are you a wine person by any chance?” I asked temporarily off topic. “Yes.” She answered. “Red, white or rosé?” I asked placing the glass on the counter. “Red, please.” Larissa hadn’t noticed the wine rack under the bench she was leaning against, I bent down and was just about eye level with her abdomen when I pulled out a bottle beside her. “So constantly on your toes than?” I asked referring back to the initial conversation. “Always. I think my job is easier when I have students that are troubled and I can connect with them about something so small, that gives them a sense of reassurance their not alone. It also feels less dawning on me, just so I don’t seem annoying to get them to open up.” She ended. I passed her a glass and watched her take a sip, her eyes involuntarily closed and she let out a small hum at the taste. I could feel my cheeks heating.

“That’s good than, I love kids, all ages to. I have a niece and she’s four I love her to death, I loved her mom and other auntie to bits to when they were kids.” I said reminiscing when Louise and jade were little. “Oh you have siblings?” She asked. “You don’t?” I asked back. “No, only child I’m afraid.” She said taking a sip and placing the glass back on the counter to tend to the stove and turn it off. “Well technically, their my half siblings on my dads side, but I will still call them my sisters no matter what. I mean I practically raised them.” I said pulling out two plates and cutlery. “So your the eldest I presume?” She asked dishing up the plates. “Yeah, I was ten when the first was born and twelve with the second.” I said picking up the plate. “Do you mind if we sit in the lounge room? Is so cold in the dining.” I asked. “Of course.” She said picking up her plate and wine glass, I did the same and placed my own glass on the floor plucking two cushions from the couch and tossing them on the floor for us to sit on.

“So where are they now?” She asked, digging into her food. “About 5 hours away.” I said. “So your not from Jericho?” She questioned. “No I moved here about 15 years ago.” I said not elaborating on why. “How is it I haven’t seen you around before?” She asked. “I don’t get out much.” I answered, beginning to eat my dinner. Fuck it was good, Larissa knows how to cook. For a while we just sat and ate, I stoll glances of her and tried so hard to not make it as though I was staring.

Our dishes discarded on the the floor and legs tucked behind ourselves, Larissa broke the silence. “I hope it was ok for me to stay, you could have told me to leave if you wanted to be alone.” She said peering over at me. The fire light was licking at her skin so beautifully, the glow made her look even more incredible. “I would have if I didn’t want you here.” I said sincerely. Larissa looked at her watch and her face contorted into a sad expression. “It’s getting quite late I should probably go soon, I’ll help tidy the kitchen.” She said. “No don’t even think about it, I can do that, you’ve done enough already, I appreciate the offer though.” I said. Larissa looked away for a moment, but her eyes fell upon a book I had resting on the small coffee table beside the lounge.

“Is that the book you bought the other day?… may I?” She asked gesturing towards it. “Yeah go ahead.” She pulled the book toward herself and flipped open to the page that had a bookmark wedged with it. “For eternity, the most beautiful things to me about you, are the things you won’t ever know about yourself. Things only I know of, because everyday I read you like a book that has never been read. Your beautiful cover with your inspiring title and amazing story held captive my curiosity. Now everyday I yearn to learn from your mystery.” I watched as she was reading, her eyes scanning through the piece of literature and her red lips forming the words, I had in fact already read that particular poem, but when it came from her I felt like I could just float into an abyss somewhere, I could hear it forever. I could hear her forever.

“I like that.” She said softly, she flipped the page back and read a couple more silently, before closing it and resting it back on the table. Larissa slowly stood and picked up my plate taking it with her back to the kitchen. I rose slowly having to hold onto the couch for support, work has really taken a toll on my body. Larissa came back to toe on her heals and rounded the lounge to meet me holding out her coat for her to slip back into. “I’ve had a wonderful evening Violet.” She said looking into my eyes. “Ditto… and I’m sorry again, but I’m sure your cooking was better than what that restaurant had to offer anyway.” I said with a smile. “Thank you, it was quite good wasn’t it?” She said with a self satisfactory smirk. “Absolutely delicious, are you going to be alright driving home, not tipsy are you?” I asked. “No I have an impeccable tolerance, thanks for the concern.” She said pulling out her keys from her pocket.

I lead Larissa to the door and open it for her. We both stood awkwardly in the doorway waiting for each other to say something. “Thank you again for the wonderful evening vi. I’ll be seeing you soon I hope.” Vi, oh my god, my nickname, this along with darling and sweetheart, I may faint. “Yes I’ll let you know when I’m ready to install at the school. I have something else for you to.” I said. “Really, what is it?” She questioned. “Uh uh, it’s a surprise, be patient and you’ll see.” I remarked with a sickeningly sweet tone. Larissa laughed and nodded. “Ok than.” She jested. Another stretch of silence radiated between us. Larissa leaned forward and without thinking of what was going on I stood completely still, she kissed my cheek and winked, Larissa without a word stepped out of the threshold and paced to her car.

Opening her door, she looked back at me. “Excuse my language, but it’s fucking freezing.” She called out. I just about died laughing, causing her to giggle. “It’s ok, I mean it is really fucken cold.” I said mocking her, crossing my arms to somehow get warmer. Larissa took the opportunity to slide into her car and turn it on, reversing out I could just make out her hand waving goodbye as she drove off. I returned the wave and closed the door locking it behind me. A feeling of emptiness washed over me as I wandered back into the kitchen, I gathered all of the dishes and put them into the dish washer and wiped down the benches.

A yawn escaped my mouth when I threw on another piece of wood on the fire, walking to turn off all the lights and make my way to my room, my eye was caught by Larissa’s purse resting on the floor next to the cushion she was sat on. I picked it up and smiled at the label Dior of course. Hesitantly I opened it and saw the contents within, a lipstick, wad of cash and a small vile of perfume. The perfume was the only thing that interested me, I wanted to smell her, feel close to her, closer than I know we’ll ever be.

I’ll find time to return it to as soon as I can possibly tomorrow, but for now I’m going to bed, my cold, empty and lonely bed.

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant

@barbarasstar @giogwensversion @sabraaabra

[dragon-business]

Majima and pocket circuit

I'm truly not over Kiryu super cautiously letting Majima get into the hobby that is so dear to him. There's something so weirdly tender about that. Forget bowling and host clubs, that's Kiryu's actual private life. Kiryu himself just started to reconnect with it after prison.

It was such a whiplash to realize that Majima actually is not about to ruin his last place of normalcy. Another whiplash will come later, when Kiryu will realise that Majima became part of his normalcy, too.

Everything concerning Kiryu's family is a matter of intrigues, drama, and all of it is public knowledge. But this? Kiryu's weird queer friends, company of people like Bacchus, heading a bunch of kids and modding pocket cars? This is, dare I say, intimate.

Nishiki never poked into that, just snorted a bit and let his bro have his little hobbies. He was always collecting stuff since kid days: rocks, keys, cards. Now it's tiny cars. Meh.

(They have separate interests and that's alright. They do spend quality time together too, apart from all the family things.)

(No Nishiki in Kiryu's life now, tho)

I mean, Nishiki let his bro have a private life like that without snooping there. After growing up in an orphanage, where privacy is nonexistent, that's quite important.

So, back in the days of 0 Kiryu probably low key tried to pull the date scenario on Fighter, but it didn't work out. Kiryu could not hit the combo, find the right dialogue options in time, couldn't make it all near and clear. He didn't even have a full grasp on how to go about it, or why he wanted to do it in the first place.

Tragically, Fighter didn't catch any of that as anything romantic. But making bentos for Kiryu was a killer move, ngl. Poor boy, pats for Kiryu.

And now Majima is having a similar problem with Kiryu himself.

He's secretly coming to the centre to train and race people. Well, not secretly, just on days Kiryu is busy. Majima is having his own adventures and substories and kid-drama there. Talks with Fighter are their own substory.

Weirdly enough, Majima bonds with Fighter a bit during test runs of the super snake car build and even gets some sort of advice about Kiryu. Fighter knows Kiryu for a long time and respects him, and the way he talks about Kiryu makes Majima both agree and raise eyebrows.

Majima mumbles something frustrated about not knowing how to approach Kiryu or not knowing what's in his head, and Fighter says something super inspiring, something he would've said to a little kid.

Something something, Kazuma-kun is kind and honest, and you don't need to be afraid to mess up, Goro-kun, he'll forgive you. And, yeah, he's super accepting too (here Fighter reminisces his own story about leaving pocket circuit for tofu business), and he's always willing to help. He's heart is so big, he's also a great friend of the kids, they adore him-

Majima: …you can stop now.

- Majima: Dang. There's really so much more to pocket circuit than I thought. Sure, I can beat Kiryu on track, but I doubt I'll ever be a part of this weird little space.

Meanwhile, a bunch of kids hanging on him: Goro-kuuuuun, come race us again! And, oh, show us that cool trick with a knife and a lighter! 

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