#and get rid of them

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Afton kids deserved better in FNAF..

[teaboot]

You! Fanfiction writer!

I hear you wanna remove a canon female love interest from a M/F ship for the purpose of your fanfiction, eh?

Well before you turn her into a raging bitch for absolutely no reason, WHY NOT:

“He just wasn’t into her like that but they’re still friends”

“They tried dating and decided it wasn’t what they wanted”

“She didn’t actually know him that well and after some time she realized she wasn’t actually that interested”

“He had a habit that was a total deal-breaker, no hard feelings though”

“One of them got a really good job offer somewhere else that they couldn’t turn down and have since moved on”

“Turns out she’s gay”

“Turns out HE’s gay”

“One of them wanted kids and one didn’t”

“They had different long-term goals”

“They tried dating and realized they saw each other more as family and it was super weird and uncomfortable, like kissing your sister”

“Neither one of them was in it for the long haul, it was more of a friends-with-benefits deal”

“Dating one another was what made them realize they’re BOTH gay”

“They weren’t compatible in bed”

“One of them was more career-driven than the other”

“By the time one of them confessed the other had already started a relationship with someone else and they’re doing really well”

“One of them has a beloved pet that the other is deathly allergic to so the distance kinda broke things down”

“They wound up working for the same company with a zero fraternization policy”

“One of them is the other’s boss so dating would be unethical”

“One of them is focusing on themselves right now”

“He’s actually kind of a loser”

“They couldn’t communicate their needs”

“He wasn’t actually all that attractive after all”

“You misunderstand, they are each other’s wingman”

”You misunderstand, they are each other’s beard”

“You misunderstand, they faked the relationship so they could marry for citizenship/tax purposes/political reasons”

”They ARE together but they’re both into the third party”

”They ARE together but they’re cool with each other seeing other people”

”They’ve been faking the relationship to evade an excess rental expense on their shared apartment”

”They’re not in a romantic/sexual relationship, they just got that queerplatonic swag”

“Their parents got married and the step-siblings thing gave them the ick”

“You thought they were flirting? Dude that was ironic. What, you don’t flirt with your friends?”

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[keferon]

Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules

Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day

[compaculaaa]

You have my optics…

Bonus:

[artbyramen]

[morganbritton132]

Continuing from this (starting here and here)

Hopper doesn’t want to think about Steve.

He doesn’t really want to even see the kid or his broken arm or his wide gap-tooth smile where he’s starting to lose baby teeth. Every interaction is a reminder that he’s not doing anything to stop this clear case of child neglect.

He’s failing Steve and if he’s failing a kid whose problems are so blatantly obvious, then he could fail Sarah when the problems are close to home.

So no, Hopper doesn’t say anything when he walks into Melvards and sees Steve at the check counter. He nods to Joyce and continues on.

He’s got a list from his wife and that’s all he’s here for.

Sure, he noticed that on the check out counter is a tube of toothpaste, a box of cereal, and a pint of milk. Sure, he clocked Steve with his chin resting on the counter, pushing coins across it to Joyce and asking, “How ‘bout now?”

That’s just good observation. He’s a cop. It’s his job.

“That brings you to $2.54,” Joyce tells him. “You need 1 dollar and 0.32 cents more.”

Hopper is not listening to Steve sigh. He’s not standing next to a shelf of sunscreen watching Steve push the toothpaste to the side like, “I don’t need to brush my teeth. Is it enough now?”

“How about this,” Joyce whispers, leaning on the counter like they’re going to share a secret. Hopper is sure she’s crinkling her nose when she pushes the money back over to him, “How about you take all your quarters and I let you take your cereal, and your milk, and your toothpaste.”

Whereas he can’t see Joyce’s face, he can see the instant suspicion on Steve’s face when he steps back from the counter, “That’s stealing.”

“Yeah, silly, if you steal it. You’re not doing that,” Joyce concedes. “I’m letting you have this stuff.”

“I don’t think you’re allowed to do that, Miss Joyce. You’ll get in trouble.”

“Well, how about a trade?”

“Like a Quick Pro Skrull?”

“Sure,” Joyce says easily. “I will trade you $2.54, one box of cereal, one pint of milk, and a tube of bubblegum-flavored toothpaste….if you let me sign your cast.”

Steve’s voice is soft, considerate the way kids aren’t supposed to be when he says, “Miss Joyce, that’s not a fair trade.”

“It’s the only thing I want, baby.”

“Fine,” Steve agrees, laying his casted arm on the counter. “I get my allowance in two days and I’m going to buy you a flower.”

“That sounds lovely, sweetheart.”

Hopper leaves the sunscreen- it’s not even on his list - and goes to the canned goods in the next aisle. While there, he has a better view of Joyce writing her name on Steve’s cast.

“You know, Steve,” She tells him. “I’m going to put my phone number right here because I have little boy about your age. His name is Jonathan.”

“I know Jonathan from school.”

“That’s good! Maybe some time you two can play together.”

“Oh, no thanks, Miss Joyce,” Steve shakes his head sadly. “My dad says you’re poor an’ I’m not allowed to play with poor people ‘cause poor people are lazy and don’t work hard even though you have a job…”

Steve pauses like he’s contemplating that before continuing, “And Tyler - that’s Tommy’s big brother. Tommy is my best friend and I wish I lived at his house - he says that sometimes people are so poor that they can’t a’ford food and they eat babies. He says that happened in Ireland and he would know too ‘cause his great-great-great-ate grandpa is from there.”

“I’m not a baby,” He tells her seriously, “But my Nonna says I’m a sweet boy and one time I was playing with a kid from the trailer park and he bit me.”

He tells her, “I don’t wanna be eaten.”

Joyce blinks at him.

Hopper blinks too where he’s listening in.

Steve doesn’t blink at all but instead gathers up his stuff. He gives her a big smile and says, “Thanks, Miss Joyce. I love you. Bye.”

Then he’s gone.

The store is empty except for Hopper in the baby food aisle and Joyce at the counter. She asks aloud, “Did I just get accused of cannibalism?”

Hopper has never laughed harder.

[lilybug-02]

Eww bugs.

Bug Fact: Face mites are microscopic mites that have adapted to only live in human hair follicles. All adult humans have them, but they are harmless and are passed down from parent to child. Pictures Below

V2 First || Prev // Next

Volume 2 Masterpost ▴♥︎▴

They also only live like 20 days and don't even have an anus so they're pretty clean.

The only time they can be a problem is if you take/have immunosuppressants which can allow them to multiply too fast, leaving skin dryer than it should be.

[a-l123-123l-universe]

No but if Jason did his whole red hood thing after Damian came to the manor and the two bonded in the league no way would Damian let anyone know about their relationship. It gives him sooo much power over Jason and he’s possessive, that’s his brother no way is he letting anyone steal him.

On patrol he acts normal towards red hood adding critiques when possible (you can’t not bully your sibling) but it’s done professionally to not raise suspicion. After school though he hangs out at his “friends” house. no he doesn’t need Alfred to give him a ride does, Bruce not trust him to hangout with one of the few friends he has? It works perfectly because the Batfam are just happy that Damian was able to make a friend in school and Damian gets to hang out with his brother. (He did make Jason take in a pigeon he found on patrol and it’s 70% of the reason why he visits).

[bluerosefox]

Little Marriage Demands

Just had a funny idea I wanna share.

Deaged!Dani/Ellie and Dan! Princess and Prince of the Infinite Realms! Ghost King/Mom Danny! Maybe Dead on Main?

Jason stared at the determined frown on the toddler that stood in front of him. Hands on her hips and if she was actually on the floor, because she was floating a few feet off, her stance in that 'I am standing my ground' way children did when they were demanding something in a huff.

She had long white hair in a pony tail that whisped upwards like gravity was a option and glowing, almost Lazarus green but more cleaner? Neon? Compared to the pits. She was dressed as a little royal princess, complete with a tiny crown made of twinkling stars and ice crystals that were floating in a tiny aurora boleros.

Next to her, in a baby roller was an equally similar looking baby, only male from the tiny royal outfit he wore, and who also had an floating crown above its head only even smaller than the girls. The baby also had a blanket that looked it had been plucked from the galaxies itself in his tiny hands. The baby was no doubt grumpy from the pout and glaring eyes it was giving him.

"Come again?" Jason asked, trying to make heads and tails of what he was just... demanded of?

The girl took in a deep breath, huffing, and looked so freaking annoyed that she had to repeat herself, as if Jason was the one making things difficult to begin with.

"We needs yous to marries Mama so the Eyeballs stops bullying Mama to 'gets a ghost consorty!' Mama keeps beatings theirs off but its annoyings cause Mama can't plays with us anymores nows!" the girl said, her young age showing strong from the way she spoke in the way toddlers did. The baby in the walker seemed to agree with her annoyance at not being able to play with their Mama cause he gave a grumpy noise in agreement "Clockpa saids if they keeps doings this they do something baddy bad to us to try to make Mama dos as they say and Mama is gonna gets really mads and do really bads to ummm the.... multi... multiver-vers-? To alls the worlds! everythings everywhere!"

Jason took a deep breath at that tad bit of information.

What the fuck!?

The girl kept going, not caring about Jason's mental freak out.

"Sooo Clockpa, Auntie Pan, Uncie Frosty, and Auntie Gothy alls gots together to talks and they'd talked abouts yous becoming Mama's futures constory causes yous well liked bys everyones for helpings somes moves on and stoppings bads people from doing bads anymore! ANDS you are good with kids! And and re-re...respectful to peoples with Mama problems!" The girl, who had when she first showed up in his safe house and said her name was Princess Ellie, future Fright Knight and Explorer of the Infinite Realms or tried to say with her toddler speak. "Theys says yous were at the tops of the list and to maybes push yous to meets buts its takes too longgggggggggggg..."

Ellie stretched the long word out, showing just how much patience children at her age had. The baby seemed to agree with that as well when he made baby gurgle sounds and threw its tiny fists in the air.

"So's me and Dan want-teds to make it goes fasters!" Ellie said as she moved her hands from her hips and crossed her arms and floated higher up as she stared at Jason's face with a smug look of 'I'm so smart with this idea' "We sneaked offs and founds you! Nows all yous gotta do is marries Mama and the Eyeballs wills stop bullying us and leaves us alone!!"

Yeah... Jason needed to go to the cave and make sure he wasn't doused with something... Cause this was insane.

[captainadwen]

Damian Wayne vs the World

Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.

Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.

Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still

~~

Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"

Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."

"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.

"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."

Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."

"No," said Tim.

"You did not even listen to my request."

"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."

"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.

"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."

"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."

"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."

"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."

That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."

Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.

He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.

"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."

"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"

"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."

"Jesus H, kid."

"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."

"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."

"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."

"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"

Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).

"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.

"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)

"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."

"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."

"Does he know that?"

"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."

"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."

"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."

"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"

"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."

"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.

"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."

"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny’s story in FNAF help wanted summed up

[rapidhighway]

heyyyy guess who got emotional over sonic adventure 2 againnn :] (don't tag as ship, thanks!)

[goldetrash]

Related to this post

[skunkes]

new annoying little back and forth: third time this week

[nenoname]

stan ignoring mysteries and weirdness for 30 years balancing out his family's innate curiosity and being why the blind eye ignored him for that long