#and honestly writing this helped me get into a better headspace

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[redbullgirly]

HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

view all 18,349 comments

user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

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tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

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tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

view all 2,013 comments

lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

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tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

view all 31,274 comments

yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[demodraws0606]

What Cyberpunk DeadBoy Means and What it's Potentially Foreshadowing (aka very complicated analysis that makes a lot of sense and could happen depending on how colorpalet is feeling while writing the story)

Now I'm seeing so many people like running around wondering what this event could mean for the future for multiple reasons and like I've made like one post throwing my hat into the ring.

I've been frustrated with people's unwillingness to realise that this comm is prob foreshadowing because this is not the first time Colorpalet has hidden foreshadowing into comms weither subtely or not

Exemple's being :

-Akito's second comm foreshadowing his third event

-Lower's cover art literally foreshadowing what would happen to Mafuyu's phone in her event

-88 vocals being emurui and nenekasa foreshadowing the kind of dynamic the disbandement arc had with nenekasa wanting to move forward with emurui being scared of isolation

-Probably way better exemples that I forgot

I've seen people make Some assumptions which I don't agree with but there is one thing I think is true

There is 100 pourcent gonna be struggle between corporation/reality and WxS.

Purely because that's been WxS's entire theme since the beginning. They constantly bash you over the head with the theme of compromising with reality and the importance of dreams. In fact the pick of Maiki-P is not at all surprising as he basically has the same message WxS has just... well harsher.

The Big thing people have ignored however is by focusing on the lyrics, they've ignored something that's personally to me even more telling and that's the line distribution

We know for a fact colorpalet loves to mess around with line distribution, weither it's to make characters say lines that fit them or to kind of foreshadow their headspace.

Now something Big happens with the line distribution of Cyberpunk Deadboy that i've seen NO ONE notice and that's in the last chorus (that and also Tsukasa's lines which people have pointed out but it works less on it's own which is why I'm gonna analyse his lines afterwards).

This is the only time the chorus is like that, the others have a much more even distribution.

In fact the distribution choice makes it look like the rest of WxS is Talking to Rui.

It's even more evident considering the lines they chose to make WxS sing compared to only just Rui

Emu/Tsukasa/Nene saying kimi (you)

Rui saying boku (i)

Which honestly makes me think this is colorpalet foreshadowing some kind of issue reguarding specifically Rui. Remember Emu's second event ? The story of Rilley whose imagination was crippled by the industry to the point where he didn't really have any artistic vision until Emu's grandpa helped him.

In fact remember how the flashback that showcases that has Rilley working on a film

Now we get to Tsukasa's line which have been pointed out to be kind of sus but it's not just his lines.

Tsukasa refuses to sing with Rui (unless it's a line they all sing together but i consider those exceptions). In fact pretty much everyone has a duo line with each other except those two.

In fact in the section where Rui has duo lines with everybody, Tsukasa is the only one he doesnt sing with and the visuals make it clear that it's something that we're supposed to find strange

And then we of course have Tsukasa's solo lines

Tsukasa is the only one that say "fuzakeruna" outside of Rui (of course ignoring entire group WxS lines) and i've seen some people pointed out how it sounds like he's saying it in response to Rui's lines. Which I agree with.

Then we got his big boy solo lines

These lines will make more sense with my theory/analysis but right now if we go with the idea that WxS in the last chorus were speaking to Rui and Tsukasa in this comm refuses to sing with Rui then this implies those lines are Tsukasa speaking to Rui.

And this is where the insanity begins because people have pointed out a concerning trend with Ruikasa that I know some people use for shipping fuel but for me kinda feels more so like foreshadowing.

IGNORING all the ARG ass weirdness of the Fixer 2dmv, this choice to switch Ruikasa's colors have to mean something in my opinion outside of just wholesome shipping influence especially considering the two songs they do this are less than jovial.

What this kind of color switching signifies to me is that, Ruikasa somehow are/or will switch places.

And with that let me bring back Tsukasa's lines

These lines stand out because Tsukasa before remembering his dreams was extremely shallow only doing things for fame and probably the money that would come with it.

Now if you think about everything I've layed out I think you can gain a pretty clear picture.

Of Rui falling into the trap Rilley did, becoming jaded and losing the true motivation of his dream (or at least starting to have doubts). Becoming stuck with the struggle of managing dreams and reality.

Rui's costume even has a mask which can be a metaphor for his artistic voice and individuality being silenced .

Which now you get into the line distribution where WxS is implied to be talking to Rui.

And you get to Tsukasa, who is refusing to sing with Rui and in fact seems to be arguing with Rui if we really want to overthink it. In fact almost switching their roles from the main story.

Because Tsukasa has grown now and how else to show that growth than to switch Rui and Tsukasa's perspectives/roles.

Now how this would happen really depends since there are multiple ways they can go about it with the time they have.

There is obviously mystery dude dude (who i know now is sakaki) who still gives me bad vibes. However there is actually two way they can make mystery dude trigger this sort of plot :

-Mystery dude is malicious and actively manipulates/confronts Rui to make him rethink his worldview

-Mystery dude isn't malicious but instead is just jaded/has been through a lot of industry bullshit which ends up rubbing off on Rui accidentally

But you can even just not have mystery dude involved with this at all (which i doubt but still) because you know what loose plotpoint is still lingering over WxS, fucking Asahi

Rui still has not talked about Asahi to WxS, in fact Curtain Call ends on an explicit cliffhanger which is never really emotionally concluded (at least in Rui's own events, technically the arc ender did but there are still a lot of loose threads from that arc). Why would Colorpalet make Asahi come back after Rui graduates, they could've just had him disappear into the sunset but instead they hint at his potential comeback.

Unless Rui will be forced to again confront similar feelings he did during Curtain Call this time with possibly an added layer of whatever happens during WxS's freelance arc.

Anyways yeah this is overly complicated but then again colorpalet is not being easy with us so...yeah.

[skele-bunny]

hello !! i tried to send a request on my fic blog but it wouldn’t let me LOL

ANYWAYS, i read ur Phantom angst w his past and starting from square 1 again and it was so heart breaking, as someone who’s had setbacks like that - i just love how you wrote everyone in that fic so much

i was wondering, and you can totally ignore this if it’s stupid, if you could write about Phantom finally coming out of that and getting better ? i’m a sucker for hurt comfort and wanna see Phantom happy and comfortable with his pack again :)

have a wonderful day/night !! 🦇

Fore sure!

You Came Back To Us. (CW) Phantom/Everyone

CW - Implications of past abuse, sa (but this is a fluff fic!)

Characters: Aether, Dewdrop, Phantom

Divider by @ wrathofrats

The quiet sound of talking bustled in the kitchen and dining room, the pack in their daily routine of getting things started. Mountain stayed at the helm directing Rain and Cirrus for what he needed to cook, Swiss helping to plate each item that was finished, Aether double checking each eating restriction and preference was correct, Dew starting the fixing of the table while just as equally quiet making sure the others made their beds and got the common room cleaned.

It was important to them that they kept their routine, not only setting the pace for that day but feeding ten ghouls was insanity and could quickly become exhausting if not separated equally. Usually, there'd be music playing and humming—but not as of recent. Their little bat who they purposely excluded from working in the mornings to sleep in was still too startled at loud noises.

It had been exactly two months since the 'reign of terror' Aurora called it, Phantom coming face-to-face with his tormentor for the last time. While it had a happy ending, the epilogue didn't. Countless nightmares, regression back to an old headspace, and just an empty look that showed of not only suffering but exhaustion. Phantom had given up completely, relying on his pack to take care of them since they no longer had the desire for anything—even living.

Of course they'd take care of him, they were their mate, their little bug they adored more than anything in this world. When Phantom first became Topside, it was always rocky for a good while, unsure how to approach this scared ghoul that cried and backed away if you dared to get near. Dew knew he didn't make it any better, but they had moved past that. It took so long for their bat to come around, showing their smile and personality, even making friendships with eventual relationships. The pack had worked so hard to influence it, once again with taking care of him.

Just because Phantom lost his progress, didn't mean they'd stop trying again. It was just a set back that with time and patience would be alright again. They'd all been there in some form of way with their own issues and addictions. So, it was important to continue on, show Phantom some normality of routine like before the reign; so that's what they did.

Sunshine had finished first, helping Aether grab each plate and set them down at respective seats. Her smile was contagious, joking under whispers which always got Aether to grab his chest as he laughed, fangs curling past his lips with joy. Aether grabbed a plate that held the design of 'Scream' and a small tumbler with 'Dracula', rolling his eyes at another terrible joke Sunshine made before he walked to a specific door. He used his foot to knock before adjusting the items and letting himself in.

Curled in the corner of his bed, Phantom stayed under the covers but his eyes open to follow Aether's movements. "Good morning cutie!" He had whispered to his successor.

Phantom stayed silent, chewing on his finger but eyes never once leaving Aether as he sat down the items and picked up the barely touched remains of dinner from last night and placed them in a container to the side.

"For your wonderfulness, you have a chicken biscuit with a jelly doughnut. Honestly, bug, I'm jealous of what you got!" Aether teased, sending a wink to the smaller quintessence. "Gonna have to tell our tree out there to make me one too."

The elder showed his palms before getting closer to Phantom, lightly running his magick through his frame, closing his eyes as he searched and felt around. "Your fever dropped, that's good... You hurting anywhere?"

He could feel Phantom rustle, shaking his head no in response. "Good, good."

As he went to move away, Phantom's hand quickly darted out to grab Aether's wrist, the two holding eye contact. "Yes, bug? What's the matter?"

It was silence, Phantom slowly closing his eyes again but his grip on Aether never faltered which made the older quint move to his knees on the floor, letting Phantom do whatever he needed to. He sent a smell of comforting pheromones and his purrs began, equally making Phantom purr in response. It was another minute before Aether felt his ear twitch, their mental link slowly connecting.

"I want a bath..."

"Okay, we can do a bath. Do you want me to get Swiss or Rory?" Aether simply hummed, not denying the smile that came over his face.

Phantom shook again subconsciously. "No, you."

So, with gentle hands, Aether peeled back the multitude of blankets that swallowed Phantom whole and gently went under his knees and back to lift them. Their head butted against his chest, claws slowly kneading on his shirt. They moved to the bathroom where he was carefully stripped, watching the tub get filled with bubbles. Their baby bat held deeper eye bags and his frame much smaller than they'd like, but he was alive. He leaned forwards against Aether who at first took his affection as a response to trauma, trying to move but that idea was replaced as Phantom kept purring and his hands went back to kneading.

Aether was positive Phantom fell asleep in the tub at least twice, once when his nails carefully raked through the different colored strands on Phantom's head, a second once his wash rag started moving in gentle circles. Aether kept whispering where he was moving even if Phantom was lost in their slumber to even hear it, the retired ghoul adjusting to get his lower half and underside so Phantom didn't have to move. He felt terrible waking the poor thing up to get dried off and in a new pair of clothes, heading back to his bed.

"There we go! One clean bat with yummy food waiting for his tummy, how about that!" Aether cooed, carefully laying him back down. A kiss was placed to Phantom's forehead, his purrs never stopping. "Do what you can today, alright? I may have also sneaked you chocolate milk instead of water this morning."

"Thank you."

Body language couldn't lie as the moment Phantom spoke, Aether's tail wagged like no other. He simply smiled with one more kiss before heading out, inhaling sharply and rubbing his misty eyes. The others were waiting patiently for Aether, looking at him with heightened curiosity.

"Sorry, tommy wanted a bath and... He spoke to me." Aether smiled wide again, watching his packs faces light up in return.

The sound of purrs and little chirps began to fill the room, Aether catching the sight of a few of their tails wagging just as much as his. He sat down next to Dewdrop, with once last glance towards the door, before bowing his head as it was Swiss' turn to lead them in prayer. With the pack joining together for a 'nema', only a single fork was picked up before the sound of a door opened.

Heads instantly turned with bodies, smiles returning as Phantom stood in his doorway with his plate and tumbler in hold. He eyed Aether who got the hint and walked over, crouching down to the bat's height and listening to their link. There was a moment of silence before Aether nodded and lifted Phantom with a carefulness as he held his items tightly. The pack assumed them to be returning back to the room, Phantom getting too overwhelmed—but to their surprise, Aether walked towards them. There was a quick rearrangement of Phantom's chair going between his and the pack leader's, Dew taking his items and welcoming him down.

"Hi there, itty bitty." Dew teased, offering his hand which Phantom took. "I'm happy to see your face."

Phantom's ear twitched before his own tiny smile joined, laying his head on Dew's chest. Dew opted out of breakfast to continue being a pillow for his mate, their tails interlinked but slowly helping Phantom sip his drink and even nibble the top part of his biscuit.

Dewdrop cocked his head as he noticed the straw being darker than normal. "Is this water?"

He eyed Aether who simply looked away. "Oh you're terrible!" He teased.

A giggle.

A giggle sounded and Dew looked down at Phantom, his cheeks a light purple and eyes scrunched as he smiled.

"Is that funny to you?" Dew questioned light-heartedly, scoffing as Phantom nodded with another laugh. "Oh you naughty bat, I can't believe you and Aether would conspire against me."

Swiss perked up, pointing his bacon at Dew while covering his mouth as he talked with food in. "Ohh, let the kid be! If I had to drink bathwater every day, I'd go crazy too!"

"Swiss, I'm positive if one of us offered our bathwater we just bathed in for you, you'd drink it like a dying man." Mountain snapped back, causing eruptions of laughter at the table, even Dew couldn't help himself.

"You guys are terrible to me!"

The fire ghoul warmed himself just a bit as he felt Phantom adjust closer, completely laying his body weight against Dew—closing his eyes and starting to knead once more. After the fact, they knew they'd retire Phantom back to his bed from using the bare energy they had, but for now, they enjoyed their tired company as Dew gently rubbed his back.

There was an unspoken agreement to continue talking at a lower tone, letting Phantom peacefully sleep for once but trying to continue their routine. Their bug twitched some before sighing in his sleep, hands gripping Dew's shirt so tightly while they let out a small trill. Dew moved his hand from Phantom's back to the dip behind his ear, slowly rubbing and watching as Phantom's shoulders released again and his purrs kicked up again.

It had been so long since the table was full and the last time anyone heard his mewl-purrs. Oh, how they all missed it so much. Dewdrop couldn't help himself as he gave Phantom's body a light squeeze, his own eyes becoming misty as he held his bat in his arms again like he had prayed and craved for.

Their collective wish had been granted.

[pseudowho]

Hi so I spent the better part of my Wednesday reading Infiltration. I really loved it and thank you for making it. I actually shared it with a friend to also read. I’m writing this ask because that’s probably the most I’ve read this year. I’ve been trying to get back into reading but my attention span just hasn’t been right, so I’ve been doing various things to get it back to a good place. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know your work has helped me reach a real milestone in my head and has made me feel like I’ll be able to pick up a book real soon. Thank you again for your work.

I'm honestly delighted that it's helped you to get into a good headspace. Sometimes a novel can seem really daunting, but a longer fic seems less intimidating. Thank you ever so much for enjoying Infiltration, it was great fun to write.

With how good some of the writing is on Tumblr, I really think you're spoilt for choice. Might I also recommend @delirious-donna 's "Your Best Friend's Brother" Nanami fic, another amazing 'forced proximity' series, which is reaching its exciting finale very soon!

@bunny584 is writing a Priest!Suguru series which is blowing my mind, and she also has a longer SatoSugu fic on AO3 which I'm going to read soon, but I think my vibrator will need to charge for about three weeks in advance.

@gojonanami has written the exquisite and very well loved (and for good reason) Professor Geto fic, which I think?? is finished. I've only had the time to read the first chapter but it was so wonderfully written, and I need need need the time to finish it, because I know I'm going to have my mind blown. I have absolute faith that I'm going to devour it while, and that you would too.

Also: don't beat yourself up. You haven't failed, by not reading a book in a while. Your time will come again. The fact is, you're reading and enjoying something and there's no shame in that.

Thank you again for reading Infiltration. It means a lot to me.

If anyone else wants to read Infiltration, my completed "pretend to be married" fic with Nanami and Reader infiltrating a Curse User cult, please enjoy here.

-- Haitch xxx

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Personally, I don't see the appeal of Shoko.

Please convince me why I should. I'm curious.

ANONNNNN YOU’RE MISSING OUTTTT WHAT THE HELL 😔😔😔😔 okay i’ll give you a pass because her character writing is very subtle. but she’s just…… so interesting!!!!!!

honestly i have a Lot of things i like abt shoko…… getting the obvious out of the way; she’s Gorgeous. most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. look at her!!!!!!!!!! :((((((((((

bUT THAT ASIDE . to me, the most interesting thing about shoko is her grief. and her connection to satosugu, obviously, but those go hand in hand!! i’ll die on the hill that she’s extremely similar to the both of them. she was also born with the burden of an ability she didn’t ask for, and she also became a weapon for the jujutsu society to wield. the irony is that she’s a weapon who Heals as opposed to satoru and suguru, but that’s arguably a worse thing to go through. in one of her phanpara voicelines, she mentions that it might be better to be out on the front lines than to stay back not knowing if the others will return in one piece…..

she’s just . stuck in such an awful situation. i think she’s seen far more death and suffering than either satoru or suguru . there’s a good chance she’s had to dissect her dying friends since she was fifteen. no wonder she comes across as so detached!!!!! no wonder she covers everything up with apathy or humour. she’s lost so many friends throughout the years. and she’s had to touch their corpses. i can’t imagine how much that messes you up.

but. yeah . her grief is just so, so silent. it’s almost always either subtextual or shown through visual imagery (usually her cigarettes)… it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking but it’s so obvious she’s suffering when you look at that subtext. her calling suguru childish for thinking nobody would understand him (implying she did), walking out of the room during jjk 0 when yaga declares war on him. picking up smoking again after gojo gets sealed, and she finds out that kenjaku had taken over geto’s body. (which is partially her fault!!! she was supposed to have disposed of it, but gojo tried to show compassion by not forcing her to. and that’s why kenjaku could take over.) the amount of cigarettes she’s smoking when she’s watching gojo fight sukuna….. etc etc . it’s all there. her grief is very silent and compliant and sad. but it’s so obvious that she loved them both.

basically; shoko is flawed, traumatized, desensitized, and kind despite that. just like satoru and suguru. she isn’t able to open her heart to anyone, isn’t able to be honest about how she feels, and she’s resigned herself to her role as a weapon. but she cares. she sticks around and keeps healing and never complains. i think she cares so much that she has to force herself into a state of apathy. she wouldn’t be able to keep going otherwise.

all of this is just my own take on her, but . imo it’s a take that the manga supports!!! we haven’t gotten any glimpses into her headspace aside from chapter 220, but we have more than enough subtext and interactions to analyze her character…. overall, i just think shoko is interesting. and wellwritten, in a subtle way. i hope akutami gives her the spotlight she deserves in future chapters because she has such a silent and unique role in the story…. it’s really hard not to fall in love with her!!!!! :’3 she’s just so cool…

anyway i said i had three reasons for loving shoko and her gorgeous gorgeous face + character writing are two of them . so i’ll end this by mentioning the final thing!!!!!! ….. which is that she’s super funny .

like. she’s a healer . but the first time we see her in the morgue she’s cutting curses open with a chainsaw. she’s disappointed when yuji turns out to be alive because she won’t get to dissect him. the students hesitate calling her for help with their injuries at night because they never know if she’s sober or not. in the light novel she takes gojo to a bar and calls him a big kid. in phanpara she complains when you put her on your team because she doesn’t want to do any work. she cheated her way through med school. she wore sunglasses during her best friend’s unsealing party. she made nanami and haibara give her a shoulder massage after they lost against her and gojo at an arcade game. she then forced a very grumpy suguru into taking a selfie with her. she’s so fucking funny and i love her <333333

[gent-ly]

Holy shit, holy shit, the first chapter is so so good!! Your writing is so vivid; visceral in the way you describe what Prapai is feeling and thinking, and I'm really looking forward to where this goes because in a way LITA left us a bit too quickly and there's a part of me that wanted a bit more lingering on the hurt!!

Payu's support from the get-go is <3. I loved seeing hints of how they have each other's back in the show and it was good to see Payu validating the need for revenge/still being the voice of reason to talk to Sky and sleep on it.

Umph love the evidence to Sky's handling it better - he's been through this before, so he kinda knows how to manage it, at least in the moments between flashbacks. Also that he's choosing to refuse to let Gun dictate his life this time. He's so... strong. And of course Prapai says that but you're showing it really well here.

Sky still being able to ask for what he wants (both emotionally and physically) felt like such relief to read and I love how much Prapai communicates in the moment and directly after. Like ofc he'd be the kind to run his mouth during sex, but its also so important for Sky to know exactly what he's thinking and feeling and just how much he's loved and I think you really captured that so well! And the aftercare in Prapai checking in and reassuring and the confidence that Sky expresses but also honestly talks about the intrusive thoughts. It was so good to read how 'knowing' the truth doesn't always stop your brain from telling you lies when you've believed them for so long. Thank you for allowing Sky to know and yet not necessarily be 'fixed' because that... feels really true to life.

Ohhh the last section with Prapai: "wears his anger to the gym" is such a good good line. So is "finds his anger where he left it, in the shadows of his bedroom wall" - I remember at the start of the fic hoping you were setting up a callback moment <3.

/sigh. I get Prapai's reasoning for not saying anything but... there's a part of me that wishes and hopes he will include Sky in this. But for storyline, even character reasons I can see why he wouldn't. Still, Sky's going to be caught up in the aftermath whether he likes it or not and it's not fair that he goes in blind.

The frequent mention of the bruising throughout really gets to me - Gun/his friends was so cruel with how much he kept hitting Sky. And makes me remember poor, brave Sky who fought and fought until he thought Prapai had something to do with him being in the situation (even for a moment). It's... very effective to help the reader understand Prapai's headspace right now.

The evening sun is gold and the light touches every corner of the room. There’s no space for shadows. No place for Sky’s fretful hands. No room for doubt of Prapai’s love.

This was so beautiful and beautifully written. I just wish (for their sake) that they could've lived in that a bit longer.

Thank you for sharing your writing. It truly is such a pleasure and privilege to read. Really looking forward to seeing where you take this and continuing to cheer you on!!

i just woke up to this and know my day will be a good one thanks to you! thank you so much for taking the time to write this and share your thoughts with me! it means a lot!

i am so glad you picked up on the callbacks and the little motifs throughout. every time i rewrite it’s too ensure the story is consistent, that these little details that matter to me aren’t overlooked. so glad my efforts aren’t wasted!

when i rewatched lita recently i was thinking throughout of the few times they reference some level of involvement with pakin and chai. for example how chai comes to phayu and rain’s aid because phayu is pakin’s best engineer. and i just thought, damn, that’s a lot of trouble they go to, to help out precious engineer’s kidnapped bf 🤔 and then his agreement with pai in the end that pai will race? like bro is already doing that? it’s not a big enough sacrifice for what they’re asking for, in my opinion. so i wanted to drag it out a little. i want to see how prapai and sky will act when things get serious in a way that’s kind of… bigger than them? idk. we’ll find out i guess haha. but yes i thought it was important phayu be involved because he seems to have the stronger connection to pakin anyway. annnnd i wanted more of their friendship!!!

it’s so important to me that sky’s strength carries through to this second incident. of course he’s going to be knocked back. of course his low self esteem and self worth issues aren’t going anywhere but boy was so strong after the first time… like he straightened himself out and worked damn hard at school and yes, a lot of it was probably avoidance of the issue but still. he did that, basically by himself. this time, though, he has the best support team in the world. which means he can move forward but he can take his time with it, too, because he’s safe enough to feel how much all this has affected him. do u get me? like he has the freedom to hurt now. in his own way, at his own pace, in the safety of a loving environment.

i am a sucker for good communication. i cant help myself!! but i think they’re a very honest couple anyway so it fits. but i suppose you’ll just have to wait and see what prapai chooses to do with his little secret. 🤫

thank u again for ur thoughts & support <3

[friendlybowlofsoup]

Addressing My Recent Hiatus

Hello Everyone,

I wrote this post thinking it would be quick, but it ended up taking me about five hours to put all the words down coherently. As such, I will put the TL;DR here:

I am okay, but I have been grieving the loss of my dog since last year. Writing was put to the background until recently, but I'm slowly getting in the groove again, so I can only ask for your continued patience.

I am still trying to figure out a good system to keep myself in check, but moving forwards is all I plan to do, so hopefully, only good news ahead ^^

Below is the full explanation of the situation, but serves more as an outlet for me than information for you. Feel free to ignore it, as I leave my send-off here.

To everyone, I am truly thankful for the kind messages and asks received during my break. Although you didn't know it, seeing those messages in my email and discord made me feel less isolated, and I hope to return your kindness tenfold through my work.

--

In November, my dog passed away in a sudden accident. I have parted from beloved pets before, but never in such an abrupt and cruel way. Because of Covid, I spent every single day of the last three years at his side, and within the first few months of moving out again for school, he was gone before I could say goodbye.

I have been struggling to process it. It feels like it was my fault, that this happened because I had moved away. I convinced myself that if I lost him because of my studies then I should at least do it well, and so nothing but schoolwork could lessen my guilt. Honestly, I still can't shake this feeling, but I also don't want to keep doing this to myself.

This past week was my spring break, and I have been working to get back to my hobbies. My family and I cried and grieved together, and my friends have been enduringly supportive--with all of their help, I finally forced myself to sit down and write after three months, and today, I was able to make this post to all of you.

GotRM will be, as always, slow-moving. School continues to go on, and I'm still not in the best headspace, but I will put in an effort to write more everyday.

Things are looking up. I am better than I was before, and I am happy to be back (´꒳`)♡

Expect some asks to be answered in the coming weeks! I am writing with a rusty hand again, so please critique me on anything funky as it comes up.

Thank you again for your continued support of GotRM.

- Mei

[changbinsboobs]

hello this is more about tarot but how you do get into it? Honestly your posts made me so interested but I don’t even know the first step myself 🥲

Hey:) I'm very happy there's interest in that as I've been actually contemplating about making educational content or even a course or something, sometime in the future💗

A few basic tips from me would be:

1. buy yourself a deck you resonate with (doesnt have to be the rider waite tarot)

2. watch readings on youtube from readers u resonate with. The practice of choosing the right pile itself is a good beginner exercise.

3. journaling, shadow work, meditation, writing in general all are very good exercises to calm your brain down and tap more into your heart and be able to feel the finer aspects of life. Also to get to know yourself and your energy better - that way you can pick up easier on things that don't belong to you (others energy during readings)

4. learn the basics of tarot like each suit (the elements), major & minor arcana, the journey of the cards, the meaning / symbolism of every card. Knowledge in numerology and astrology also would be very helpful.

5. despite tip 4, don't focus all too much on the meaning and let your intuition work too. If you focus and obsess over the traditional meaning of each card you will be doing the reading with your head instead of your heart. And i believe the best readings come from the heart cuz they're the most pure and genuine.

6. Take every reading with a grain of salt. No matter who does it. If its you or another experienced reader. Energy is maluable and what was said today, might've been true for today, but may not be true for tomorrow. If you obsess over the readings or get paranoid or let any other toxicity infiltrate your headspace regarding the readings/topic - they won't come out pure. Meaning your intuition will be dampened by the paranoia for example and since tarot works with your own energy, u'll be attracting cards that reflect that. And then your brain will use them to affirm to your paranoia - or whatever other bias you're having. Its very important to have a pure and relaxed energy when you read so nothing interferes with the process. This is done with lots of self work or if you're generally gifted with a personality/energy like that (i think i.n could be a great reader if he tried😂i just had to mention him)

[celticwolf55]

It's really cool when writers have playlists for their fics cause then you see what fits woth the story and all. Fake it till you make it is the first of your fics I read and it's one of my favorites so it's nice to see that playlist.

I've never heard reckless driving before but it's really good. Like "guess I'd die to keep your eyes on me"? For wenclair? Breathtaking honestly. I've only heard one other song by this artist and theyre making me a fan of hers. The song is Hate to be lame in case you're interested.

And epic omg I first heard about it late 2021/early 2022 and I've been obsessed since. I've waited so long that I'm kinda sad it'll be over soon. Just a man is one of the best songs from epic. All the edits to it are so good they hurt. Ruthlessness has to be my favorite though cause that's where it finally hits them how screwed they are.

I'm left without a choice and without a doubt

Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now

I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown

And

You are far too nice, mercy has a price

It's the final crack, we're bound to break the ice now

You reveal your name, then you let him live

Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give 'cause

Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

These lyrics are golden. Different beast is up there for me too. Do you have a favorite song or saga?

I know it's a lot, my bad, but in my defense wenclair and epic are my hyperfixations and together is even better.

I feel that having a playlist, even if I don't always listen to it when I'm writing, it really helps get me into the headspace of the story. Fake it is the first popular fic that people have read of mine, which is totally fair since my earlier stuff wasn't that great. And I'm glad that you enjoyed the playlist I put together for it.

Reckless driving was something I literally listened to on repeat for MONTHS because it was what gave the good creative juices for writing, and the beat was great as well when the lyrics just faded into the background in my braid. The lyrics also hit really hard too, so I totally get your reaction to them. I haven't heard the song you're talking about, but Ceilings was also a song I listened to on repeat for a similar reason.

Now to Epic. I found it mid to late last year I think. Back when the Cyclops saga was the most recent one out. All of the edits and animatics were so incredible as well, adding different things to the songs and elevating them in different ways too. Ruthless is an incredible song too. It's the first time that Odysseus has some really harsh consequences and it hardens him in general (apart from Polities' death). And yeah, you get to feel how badly he's messed up too. I also remember how incredible the goosebumps were when that scrapped song was going around 'Get in the water'. It was so intense.

You're totally fine. I like your enthusiasm. I just spent several hours making a video of about 3 years worth of artworks I've done for Wenclair to my recent stuff. Hopefully I get inspired into making more artworks to hopefully finish the song I have behind it.

[v3nusxsky]

hey i was wondering if could get ager fic Lady Lesso x little reader

can just be really cute fluffy fic

prompt~ R been having really tough to recently with life and Lesso notices this and knows R should probably slip so they do everything they can to get R to slip and after a little hesitation from R she eventually slips and Lesso just sits a comforts R giving them hugs sitting watching R favourite little show (bluey) till R falls alseep soundly in Lessos arms.

can r possibly call lesso mumma and lesso calls them little duck or something

or it can be larissa x little reader if you prefer

feel like i ready need this after the past 2 weeks of my mental health being sh*t

hope everything okay with you my darling mars

if don’t want to write this it’s totally fine with me

~✨

Sleepy baby

*Authors note~ Agere is saving my life rn honestly 🥹*

Trigger Warnings~ age regression little r

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

All your life and all you have heard is how life is hard and you shouldn't wish to grow up quicker than life was taking you. Of course as a child you wished to be older then maybe your past wouldn't be what it is. As a teenager you hated it, you had the brains and ability to prevent the issues but no one took you seriously until that night. The night where you were dropped into the school for good. Your disappearance was wrote off as a run away but you were taken to a better place. And that's how you met her.

Leonora dropped into the school for Evil at the same time as you were dropped into the school for good. The attraction was instant success the shy Ever and the lonely Never. Both battling your own demons and one in common, your sexuality. Knowing you both struggled you formed an unusual alliance which began to flourish as the years went on, blooming into an unlikely yet beautiful romance.

Now years later your wife was the Dean of the school for Evil and you happily worked as the schools librarian, you truly don't think you've ever been happier in your life. Your past had a way of haunting you though, but you knew your wife would always be there to help you through. You were so afraid when you first regressed around Leo but truly the fact you regress brought out the motherly side of your wifey that you were so glad to see.

You'd been fighting your regressing at this point in time due to your girlfriend being incredibly stressed. You knew how important these upcoming months are and you didn't want to be a distraction to her. Leo tried to encourage you to listen to your own mind and body but you point blank refused her offer, determined to be okay enough and not need to slip.

You couldn't help but give in after so long, you allowed yourself to slip into the little headspace while you were just resting waiting for your love to join you. Immediately your little self set off on a hunt for your momma. You immediately toddled into her office grabbing your special blanket on the way to her.

"Momma" you whimpered grabbing the red head's attention, "my beautiful duckling, come here darling girl." You happily toddled over to her and clambered onto her lap and nuzzled into her. Leonora happily wrapped you up in the blanket you brought as her hand trailed through your hair, "do you feel better now duckling? You whimpered a yes and nodded into the woman, after all what could be better than snuggling your momma? "Okay ducky you relax here do you want your special mirror?" Even in your little headspace you knew what that meant so you nodded happily, watching as she magicked the object to her hand. "Momma magic!" You giggled and clapped excitedly for her.

That was how you ended up snuggling with Leonora, watching Bluey on your enchanted mirror while Lesso rubbed your back in a soothing manner. You were happy and content and she was honoured to help heal your inner child. Before Leonora even released you had fallen asleep hand clutching onto her clothing in a sleepy attempt to keep her close as you rested. That was what you needed and she'd happily provide it for you, her beautiful duckling.

Word count~ 680

[sabrinahawthorne]

for the tarot ask game -

The Emperor — Do you have a process you follow with your design work? OR How important is mechanical complexity to you?

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

original ask meme

The Emperor

I'm kind of waffling on this one - I think it's a broad question, and I could answer it a lot of ways. Let me try to walk through the basics of writing a game for me, and we'll see how that turns out.

Generally speaking, I build games around a pretty simple pitch. "Skyrim Isekai," "Naruto Simulator," and "Classic Zelda with a Chess Board" all come to mind as examples. Either that, or I have an idea for a central mechanic, and try to build a game that justifies it. This would be Broke Wizards, or a couple of WIPs that may or may not ever see the light of day. This is my less preferred method; I tend to think vibes first, and systematize as I go.

Once I have a clear idea, I'll make a write-up document to codify those ideas into discrete items. It's usually bullet points interspersed with paragraphs about reference media or design goals. These docs are intentionally messy and incomplete - their purpose isn't to be readable, but rather to warm up the connection between brain and fingers and get me in the headspace for proper design.

From there, I build games version-by-version. I keep files organized like game updates (version 0.1, 0.2, 0.2.1, and so on), making saving a file as a new version whenever I make what I consider to be a major change or addition.

As I work on these prototypes, I'm also working on broad-scale things, like figuring out what order in which to present information, and settling on the voice of the game. Generally, I'm a pretty plain, straightforward writer, but I try to put some personality into the text of each game, especially since I have a tendency to build games from joke ideas. I refer you again to Skyrim Isekai.

I usually work on the text of the game before anything else, waiting until it's feature-complete (and usually text-complete) before I even think about layout or art. Most of the time, I have a pretty clear idea for how I want a game to look long before this point, but I save this part for last largely because it kind of scares me. I'm getting better at talking to artists and finding public domain work, but it's always daunting, and it's probably my weakest area.

Once I have all the assets I think I'll need, it's off to Canva I go. It's also at this point that, if I haven't so far, I bring in my wonderful partner to help. She has more experience with graphic design and art than I do, and she has a wonderful sense for what makes a thing look nice. Generally speaking, I always work next to her while I'm doing layout so that I can prod her with questions any time I'm not sure how to do something, or when I need another pair of eyes to make sure I haven't made something too offensive to the eye.

From there it's a matter of uploading a new itch project page, doing some blurb-writing, and noticing several typos after the game has been up for days.

The Star

I mean. It's CLASH!. You know it's CLASH!. You must, right? It's the only thing I've talked about since January.

Well lucky for you, I have more new things to say about it, because nothing I said above applies to the development of CLASH! so far.

Something that excites (and scares) me about CLASH! is that it's the biggest game I've ever worked on, and it's the first one written with the express purpose of being printed. Both of those come with an exponential increase in the overall complexity of the project, both in terms of design and production.

Design-wise, the path of CLASH! has been quite an experience. Its increased size means that, hopefully, people who play it will be playing it for longer periods, and I want it to stay fun and engaging as they do. That means that CLASH! is the first game I've ever playtested before releasing. That feels a little like an admission of guilt, honestly, but for what it's worth I think I've done a pretty good job of making games playable and fun so far anyway.

I also have a lot more things to juggle. What non-designers might not realize is that every feature added to a game is an exponential increase in complexity. As an example - I added Tech tags as a way of implementing the progression mechanic of the Specialist, which you can read about here. But in doing so, I had to make tags mean something in the broader context of the game's mechanics, so that they wouldn't just be a clutter of nonsense words that the majority of players would never find any use for. As a result, I ended up changing how the Vessel's progression works as well, and I'm considering doing something similar for the Powerhouse.

All to say - a more feature-rich game means one whose features all require a much greater depth of consideration and testing, which slows things down.

As for production, CLASH! has been a huge learning experience. This was intended from the beginning - I knew before I started that I wanted this project to be the center of a number of big steps forward in my career, and that translates into the game itself. For one, Canva isn't good enough anymore - I'm learning Affinity Publisher for it, and slowly driving myself mad in the process.

Seriously, if you have any resources for learning, like, the ABCs of graphic design software, please link me. I don't know what any of these buttons mean and I don't know how to make a text box.

I digress. I want CLASH! to end up on store shelves if I can help it. That means talking to local game stores, buying an ISBN number, and learning how printing works, which is a many-headed beast in its own right.

Alright, I think I've typed out CLASH! in all caps enough for one post. Thanks for the ask! And if you're reading this and you're so inclined, give he game a few dollars at the third hyperlink in this post, or by buying me a coffee. And go check out the work of the Artist for this game, @hakuryuu. They do good work, and they deserve your money.

[bleachbleachbleach]

8/12 - 8/18/2024

I wrote a version of Renji 11 what is at this point several years ago (RIP me), and have since just been throwing random stuff/required additions into that Note with no rhyme nor reason, so it took over two hours this week just to sort it all out. But! It is sorted!

Modern-era Renji 11 consists of 3 new scenes and 3 already-existing scenes. I wrote 1.5 of the new scenes. As far as how well I think this Chapter is going, I dunno. As a narrator, Renji’s kind of like, oh hey, here’s a thought I had. And here’s another one! Which feels legit but I’m not sure if it allows the reader to understand which pieces of information are actually important for following the narrative.

You know those reblog memes that like, ask people to identify hallmarks of your writing? The concept is fun, but it wouldn't work in practice because 0.02% of anyone who might see that post would have any familiarity with my writing. SO. I WILL SIMPLY TELL YOU. My hallmarks are that I love an interstice—love having things that should be on the cutting room floor not on the cutting room floor—but am also a firm believer in stories not needing to have every scene the characters experience to exist on the page. This combination means there’s a good chance that actually relevant, defining scenes simply do not exist and only the interstitial nonsense does. I think in certain stories this can be a real thing that works. I think it can also have the effect of nothing hanging together, making any sense, or meaning anything, without certain bits of key information/certain scenes that I simply did not include because they exist in my head and therefore exist everywhere right. I think that’s where this chapter is.

Maybe the remaining 1.5 new scenes will help ameliorate that, but I feel like that’s asking a lot of them. And then, theoretically, you’d think fixing the existing scenes would go more quickly than writing from scratch, but I don’t know that they will. Because the story leading up to this point has changed enough that the characters are in very different headspaces and perceptions of each other than they were when I first wrote those scenes. Well, that’s not true—Kensei and Renji are in a very different place with each other. Renji and Hitsugaya need to have the exact same conversation but, you know… better. And FRANKLY, I do not know whether entirely overhauling Kensei and Renji will be harder or easier than merely line-editing Hitsugaya and Renji. =_=;;

I’d really like to finish Renji 11 by the end of next week, and then take some time to finish out the revisions on Rukias 7 and 10, which are the most related to Renji 11. Then I’d like to go back to do final line edits on Chapters 4, 5, and 8 before heading into the big mess of revision that is Hisagi 9, because those revisions will be most related to Hitsugaya 12.

I’m not anticipating getting much done in September, because I have a major work deadline September 30th, and the rest of autumn will probably be kind of garbage, too, and I probably won't exist. But I would love to finish Part II (so, Chapters 12 and 13) by December. Well, speaking honestly, my original hope was that I would finish Part II by May, but here it is, August, and I am still working on Chapter 11. So: I would LOVE to finish Part II by December.

—

I did a low-res mockup of the fic banner several months ago (okay, this might have been last November). I pulled out some high-res assets to work with on Friday and played around with a new design I thought was fun, but it turns out design-wise the old mockup looks much more polished. Or it would, if I were using higher-quality materials. XD So I’ll probably go back to the old design. The only reason to continue with the new one is that it reflects the clusterfuck spirit of everything that happens in this fic, but I kind of like the way the old banner puts a pretty bow on the clusterfuck lurking beneath the surface. Maybe I’ll solicit opinions once I’ve made a more serious mockup of the first version.

[theladyofshalott1989]

I've noticed you're a really prolific writer in the HL fandom but you don't get much engagement (no offence intended because you're one of my favourite writers!!!). How do you motivate yourself to keep going?

OH, HI! When I turned on my Anonymous Asks last week, I definitely didn't expect this question. LMAO. (But thank you.) I apologize for sitting on your question for a few days, as I honestly haven't been in the best headspace to answer it. But I'm doing better now, so here goes... How do I motivate myself to keep going? Hmmm. Well, besides the obvious (that being a complete and all-encompassing obsession...), I remind myself that I joined the fandom late on AO3 (I started on Wattpad, where I actually do have a lot of engagement, I think?), as well as on Tumblr. So, I'm still catching up, I suppose? And, you know, most days it doesn't really bother me all that much because I love to write. I do get down about it every so often (hence the aforementioned bad headspace), and I commiserate with those authors who are in the same boat as me. Solidarity fist bump! You are also seen and heard, and I try so very hard to comment and kudo on as many fics as I can but I have a toddler and a full-time job, so... time is limited. Also, in the grand scheme of things, engagement comes and goes in waves, and as long as someone gets something out of my fics, I feel like it was time well spent on my end. It certainly helps that I've had some absolutely wonderful interactions over the past year and a half, so that keeps me going. Thank you for asking. Reflecting on this question was surprisingly helpful too. I feel a bit better already. For those curious, my Asks are always open <3

[headmate-packages]

A package has arrived for you! Open it?

Shipping #: 00000110

📮💌📦

Shipping number: 00000110 (6)

Name(s): Tucker, aspen, dexter

Pronouns: He/him They/them

Species: Human

Gender: masc leaning nonbinary

Interests: Exploring, Nature, documentaries, hiking, Forested places, forest animals (specifically deer)

Frontcalls: outdoors, bird songs, river noises, cicada sounds, fireflies

Likes: music, animals, writing, researching mushrooms, mythology

Dislikes: Pollution, plastic wrap, politics, loud noises

Signoff: 🌿

Any specific appearance details: they have a fairycore (no fairy wings please)/Green aesthetic

Fears: Nosophobia (fear of being sick) and Parasitophobia (fear of parasites)

Happy place: Outside

Hobbies: witchcraft, walking, meditation, crystals

Passion: Nature

Room/space in headspace: They have a fairycore/green aesthetic room

Handwriting: Unrulyness font

Letter:

I'm Tucker and I guess I should go ahead and get it out of the way that I'm bad with punctuation….. like….. REALLY bad

I just always do it wrong and honestly my spelling isn't that much better either and I pretty much rely on autocorrect foreverything

I'm not some kind of computer guru tho let's just have a face to face conversation id say ist just a lot easier and nicer and yeah anyways that's me nice to meet u

Faceclaims: (these were made by @headmatesoup to help me out, thank you!)

[capriclonus]

I am in awe of your writing Cap. I can't believe how deftly you shift the emotional compass from sentence to sentence in a way that is totally honest and believable. It's absolutely mesmerising.

I'm new to fanfiction writing, and I'm just grateful that there are folks like yourself to learn from and inspire both to write and hopefully become better at the craft.

Do you have any advice for someone posting a smut scene for the very first time? I've known it's been coming up in my fic for a long time and next week is the week it'll finally be posted - and I'm already that anxious!

oh my god i am---------oh my god???????

oh my goodness gracious------

(my tiny gay heart cant take this)

Seriously, I don't know what to say to this. I don't know what I can say to this. This has blown my brains out. Thank you? Thank you. Oh my goodness gracious gay god, thank you!!!!

Okay, so *ahem* I honestly don't know how good I am at giving writing advice, but I will do my best for you. I'm going to put it beneath a cut off because, fuck me, can I waffle.

First off, let me say that if your writing is as eloquent as this ask is (and I'd bet my mother it is) then I'm sure your writing is already wonderful. Everything that we post is ultimately a learning experience and the more we write the more we find our style.

As for smut, well, that's always a daunting thing. It's a very vulnerable experience, and every single person who posts it is commendable. I know every single writer goes through the ball of anxiety that is first-time smut posting. Stupid as it sounds, the only way to do it is to do it. But I also find it very helpful to have someone I trust - a friend or a beta who understands my writing style and headspace - read it through first and offer their opinion. Nothing too critical because I find that doing that with an experience as scary and vulnerable as first-time smut can really put the writer off posting anything at all related to it. Also, don't be afraid to admit that nervousness to your readers; a lot of readers are really kind-hearted and, if they hear you are nervous about the scene, I am sure they will make extra effort to bolster your confidence in the comments. And if they don't, come get me, and I will smash their face across the keyboard until something positive comes out (I'm joking. Sort of.)

Ultimately (and this is the oldest line in the book I'm really not original), we write for ourselves. The advice I offer now is the same whether it's smut or not: if you are happy with what you've written, if you like what you've written, you've nailed it. That's all that matters. Obviously, we all love the crazed dopamine hit we get from comments and kudos and I won't feed you a line that they don't matter because they do to a lot of people, myself included. As fanfic writers we want people to like our writing, and we do what we do out of a passion that we want to share and a desire to connect to others that share that passion. I find that, at the end of the day, even if a fic of mine has low engagement, I can walk away happy because I am proud to have written it. That's what matters.

If you are lacking someone you trust enough to read it and be vulnerable with, then I hope you know I am happy to take that space, should you want me to. I'm always happy to help put more smut in the world lmfao! Also, if you want to dm me your fic when you've posted the smut, please do, because I will be there with an outpour of support in your comments.

(I am sorry if this wasn't overly helpful, I am writing this at 1am following a caffeine-fuelled writing spree. But I do find smut is one of those experiences where you just have to fuckin go for it, ass out. That confidence grows with time, and it starts with publishing your first piece.)