#and i dont know how to really deal with that

[ellies1luvr]

dealer!ellie x reader

(head cannons)

based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood

A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️

Idc if minors read

please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!

TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️

Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack

Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations

Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number

Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time

“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”

when you smoke to much shes there to ground you

“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”

Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.

You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.

you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms

by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.

Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you

at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.

(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)

Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale

Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.

no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.

You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow

You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.

“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”

“babe no she wasnt”

“ellie please just stop dealing to her”

“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”

when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.

safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.

i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!

Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)

The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel

one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone

Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck

Suggestive

at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles

Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.

i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night

thanks for reading dykes‼️

[vampkermits]

i know it’s already been said plenty, but it really is crazy to me how Nothing the wyrmway quest is for wyll when it’s the culmination of his quest line. like he barely has anything to say! and there’s so much there to explore—most obviously to me, the parallels between balduran and wyll. i mean, does wyll—guy who has built his identity around being a hero to the people, who throughout the game grapples with being rejected by the people whose opinions matter to him the most for choices he doesn’t and can’t regret, who is literally physically transformed (in many playthroughs) into a form he feels is monstrous and will make it impossible for him to ever be perceived as a hero again—really have that little to say about balduran’s whole deal? what does it mean to him that his hero became a monster, too? that he embraced it, and in doing so ended up killing the person who loved him most?

and that’s not even getting into how wyll’s feelings about balduran tie into his feelings about his father! i don’t remember the exact dialogue path, but early in the game (after waukeen’s rest), wyll tells you how his father taught him to live by the four pillars (courage insight strategy justice) that later appear in the wyrmway as balduran’s trials. he tells you that he argued with his father because he saw him as a hypocrite, teaching him those values while he himself dealt with corrupt politicians. what does it mean to find out balduran himself doesn’t live up to those values? what example is he meant to follow? is he, in the end, just another hypocrite like his father and the emperor, claiming to be a hero while dealing with devils?

idk i just think it would be interesting for wyll to actually get to grapple with what it means for him to be a hero! and i dont think thats incompatible with giving this bit of emperor backstory, it would just require the game to give a shit about wyll’s narrative conclusion

[jeridandridge]

For Lovers At Night conclusion

A conversation with Joe takes place and you evaluate your relationship with Melissa. CW: Homophobic slur, brief violence. No editing. We write and post like affection starved bitches.

“Oh for fucks sake.” You roll your eyes tossing a black trash bag in the dumpster. You truly didn’t have time to deal with a fake macho, butthurt man.

Joe gets closer and comes up standing now a few feet away.

“You the one that’s been fucking my wife?”

There is a hint of anger in his voice, but watching vigilantly you see his hands flat in his pockets, nothing to be hidden there.

“Well bud, someone has to.” You shrug mirroring his stance not shying away from making direct eye contact. Looking at him you suppose you could see hints of a once good looking man. He still had some muscle but it was evident the years of drinking were catching up with him if the beer gut and puffy cheeks were any indication. “I’m really not in the mood for this so can you get off my property?”

“You got some set of balls you know that?” Joe scoffs. “What’s a young girl like you wanting a woman Melissa’s age anyway?”

Cocking your head to the side you size the man up, quirking a brow. “I’m not blind or stupid, so I can see what an amazing person she is and I know how to treat her right.”

“Hey, I know how to treat a woman.” He steps forward towards you.

“Yeah? Then why cheat on a woman to fuck around with girls that could be your kid, huh?” You challenge.

“It ain’t my fault she wouldn’t put out. I shoulda known she was a dyke a long time ago.”

You can’t help but laugh. Looking at the guy in front of you, you see not a man but a toddler throwing a tantrum over a toy he doesn’t get to play with anymore. This Joe doesn’t like.

“The fuck are you laughing at?” He lets out getting right in your face. Not phased by the closeness and possible danger, you tip your chin up as you lift your hands pushing him back by his shoulders. Not paying attention to anything else around you, you dont see Melissa’s truck pull up or hear the door slam.

Getting out of her truck Melissa rushes over bumping into people along the sidewalk to get to you worried you’ll be hurt.

“Back the fuck up before you get hurt, little man.”

Joe all but growls getting in your space again, bloodshot eyes meeting your own.

“You can have her, hot shot. She’s useless dead weight now that I got her good years. Maybe she can help you clean up this dump after it burns down.”

“Hey!” Melissa calls out getting to you just as you take a swing.

Adrenalin running through you at the sound of his insults and threat you give a wicked smile as you cock your fist swinging it up right under Joes chin sending him right to the ground.

When Joe hits the pavement a wave of lavender hits your nose and arms warp around your front holding your arms down keeping your now throbbing hand in place.

“Watch your mouth and get off my fucking property.” You spit at Joe as other people on the street now pay attention to your little corner of the block.

“Amore! Stop.” Melissa urges looking you over as if you’re not okay. She realizes the pang of desire that hits her from seeing you defend her like that.

“Cmon, let’s go inside. Shows over!”

You call out to the small crowd of people as you go to the steps wrapping your arm around the redhead.

“Hold on,” Melissa hums breaking away to go over to a woozy, confused Joe sitting on the sidewalk holding his face.

“Mel-“ you begin to argue, only to stop and watch the scene unfolding in front of you.

“Melly?” The sad man grumbles out.

Kneeling down Melissa reaches out roughly grabbing the defeated man by his now bruising chin making him wince.

“If you ever go near her again,” she warns in an eerily low tone as he yelps at the feeling of her fingers squeezing the injured area, “the last thing you’re ever gonna see is my face. Got it?”

Joe winces looking at the redhead. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Letting go with a rough shove Melissa stands up leaving her soon to be ex husband on the pavement to wallow and take care of his bruised ego and skin.

“That was hot.” You joke trying to break the tense air as you two go up to your apartment. It wasnt a lie at all, but you would behave for now.

Melissa shakes her head carefully taking your now angry and puffy hand in hers looking it over. “I can’t believe you did that. Sit, let me take care of that.”

Getting the door open with your good hand you let out a sigh trying to cool down going over to the dining table, red and purple knuckles facing upward making you wince. “I’m not letting anyone especially a man like that talk about you that way. We both know he had it coming.”

Melissa moves around your kitchen putting ice in a dish towel before coming over to sit beside you. “No ones ever done anything like that for me before besides my family.”

“I’d do it again in a second even though I know you can handle yourself.” You keep your eyes on the redhead, a softness spreading through you when you see the concerned look on her face while she tends to her hand. Having finally met Joe, you understood why Melissa felt the way she did in her marriage.

“Well hon, it looks like I don’t have to no matter how stupid that was for you to do. You coulda gotten hurt,” A proud smirk spreads across her lips despite her trying to be mad.

With her eyes cast down on the towel you gently reach over tipping her chin up with your finger to meet her eyes. Having her this close again after the day you’ve had, you can’t see this previous plan of taking things slow to fruition.

Leaning over to the side of the table where Melissa sits you meet warm jade eyes as you brush your lips against hers. Melissa melts into this kiss, her arms immediately going around your neck as a whine travels up her throat in an emotional relief. Tracing her bottom lip with your tongue the redhead gently pulls back keeping her arms around your neck. She meets your eyes searching for any regret or hesitation.

“Fuck taking things slow.” You hum leaning in for another kiss, this time wrapping your arms around her waist to bring her closer to you.

And that’s all Melissa needs. Nothing is rushed or frantic in the kiss. You both move in a fluid motion like a wave crashing to the shoreline; natural and right like you’ve done it a million times before as you pull her up and walk her back to your kitchen island. Your strides are slow and steady as you two move, almost like a dance as your hands glide up Melissa’s back to red curls.

Breaking the kiss with a shaky breath you peck her lips once more as you feel warm hands cup your cheeks. Melissa looks at you with a soft smile, lip gloss now completely gone.

Still catching your breath you lean forward to close the small space between you kissing the tip of her nose with a wide grin.

“Amore mio.” Melissa whispers wrapping her arms around your neck once more, eyes glassing over with tears.

Standing there in the little bubble you’ve created with her the Italian phrase that you can piece together sends a spark of joy through your chest.

“Every time you call me Amore,” you grin resting your hands on her ass, “it’s like fireworks go off in my chest.”

“That’s how I feel when I’m with you. You brought me back.” She smiles with watery eyes. “And my nana already likes you.” She laughs through a sniffle.

“Yeah? Well Im in love her grand-daughter so that has to give me some points.” You tease keeping your eyes on her the whole time, your stomach flipping at the admission.

Melissa lets out a giddy giggle cupping your cheeks again. “You love me?”

“So much, Mel.” You smile bringing her hands to your lips. The moment she walked into your bar you were intrigued by the mysterious woman, the moment you spoke to her you knew you would do your best to keep her around.

Putting her hands on your shoulders she tips her chin up with a smirk walking you backwards to your bed across the large studio apartment. When the back of your legs hit the mattress you let out a laugh landing on your elbows as Melissa moves to straddle your lap.

Bending over Melissa meets your lips in a hungry kiss sucking in a breath through her nose. Your hands roam her frame again, cataloguing every spot that makes her react. She breaks the kiss first, immediately lifting the hem of your shirt. Wincing lightly as you pull your injured hand out of the fabric Melissa slows down bringing the injured hand to her lips lightly kissing each bruised knuckle.

“I love you, bambina.”

“Is that baby?” Your face breaks out into a grin at her words.

“Yeah,” she laughs meeting your lips again as she unclasps your bra gliding her fingers down your arms.

“Oh you’re cute,” you tease putting your hands on her hips rolling the both of you over so Melissa is now on her back. “Lay back and let me take care of you.” You whisper unbuttoning her pants.

From that moment on you keep your eyes on the redhead only glancing away to pull clothing off. Clothing gone on you both with a few minutes of giggles and fumbling you prop yourself up hovering over the redhead keeping eye contact as you rub your fingers in slow circles over her clit.

“More, Tesoro.” She gasps against your lips keeping her fingers in your hair.

In a kiss that shows her exactly how you feel, you keep your fingers moving drawing whines and cries from the redhead. Not wanting to miss a second of her reactions you keep your eyes locked on her with a satisfied grin. You had done this with many people before, but you had never wanted to see their every reaction. This time, you’re in love and you’re loved back.

Hours later lying between Melissa’s legs resting your head on the soft skin of her stomach, your fingers absentmindedly move up and down her thigh as she plays with your hair.

Thinking about everything you two have gone through together already, you can’t help but smirk. “Mel?”

The redhead lets out a tired hum in response.

“You still wanna go to that Phillies game with me?” You ask not moving from the comfort and warmth of her body.

Melissa grins carding her nails through your hair. “I’d love that, hon.”

Lifting your head you move kissing up her body playfully tickling her sides. “Come shower with me?”

“That’s a good idea.” Melissa laughs as she squirms away, pulling you up by your good hand.

In the bathroom as the shower heats up you find clothes for you both settling on big tshirts and shorts knowing if you don’t you two will be up all night.

“I can bring these back to you tomorrow.” Melissa nods to the clothes.

“Keep em. You look good in my clothes,” you chuckle. “You’re staying the night right?” You ask hopefully, knowing she has to work tomorrow.

“Hell yeah. I haven’t gotten my fix of you yet.” She smiles hugging you from behind.

Chuckling you reach around for her arm as you step in the shower. Adjusting the spray so it hits both of you, you gently rub your girlfriends back thinking about the day.

“It took everything in me to not text you good morning today you know. Then, when I saw you at the cafe I wanted to kiss you so badly.”

“I’m sorry I lied.” She whispers.

“No, don’t do that.” You shake your head. “We already talked about it and I’m sticking right here with you through everything. That’s all.” You shrug.

Melissa gives you a soft smile knowing just by your simple actions since you met that she’s safe and won’t be hurt by you. After a quick and well behaved shower, you get dressed and move to strip your bed of your now soiled sheets putting fresh ones on.

“Baby, what time am I setting the alarm for?” You ask as the redhead sits on the side of your bed putting her hair up.

“Five thirty.” She hums climbing in curling into your side. As you two lay together Melissa lets out a content sigh knowing that she doesn’t have to pretend anymore. She can have this with you as much as she wants.

Turning to your side to face the woman you wrap your arm around her waist giving her a tired smile. “I’ll make the coffee in the morning.”

Cuddled together Melissa lifts her ring clad hand up gently brushing her thumb over your bottom lip.

“Say it one more time.”

Letting out a laugh you lean in chasing her lips for a soft kiss.

“I love you,” you hum kissing each of her cheeks, “I love you,” in between kisses to the corners of her mouth, “I love you.” You hum once more kissing her nose which you’ve come to love doing because it makes Melissa scrunch.

And that’s all Melissa needs.

In the morning you’re the first to move when the alarm sounds, hitting the offending device you turn back over seeing a groggy Melissa stretch out with a smile on her face.

“Good morning,” she lets out in a scratchy voice.

“I’ll start the coffee.” You yawn getting up.

It doesn’t take long for Melissa to get up and ready, putting her clothes from the day before back on from the fabric littered on the floor.

In the kitchen you make enough coffee for a big blue travel mug you have, making it just how Melissa likes it. Stirring it you grin when you feel her arms wrap around you and her chin on your shoulder. “Walk me out?”

“Of course, honey.”

Coffee in hand with shoes on and all belongings gathered you walk Melissa out to her truck opening the door for her.

“Text me when you make it to work?” You ask as her arms snake around your neck giving you extra warmth in the cool morning air.

“I’ll text ya, Amore.” She smiles kissing you softly once more before she pulls away to climb into the truck.

“Drive safe.”

Looking over your shoulder to check for traffic you step back watching the truck pull off and head down the road. As your girlfriend goes you can’t help but grin.

Going back up to your apartment you stay up with the sun smiling into your own coffee mug when your screen lights up with a text from Melissa making you laugh.

My pops told me I’m not invited back to family dinner until Nana meets you. What kinda hold do you got on the Schemmenti women, Amore?

[fairycosmos]

I just read your post about your lack of identity and I feel so very similar. I've always been shy and quiet and weird even as a kid but nowadays (I'm 23) I have extreme social anxiety and one tip I always hear is to "just be yourself" and to not be ashamed if you say/do something embarassing etc etc. And the thing is...I dont know how to be myself. I spent the last 5 years basically only interacting with my immediate family because i lost all my friends due to my mental illness and my being unable to be a normal young person. And in this time of (relative) isolation all these things that humans naturally do in interactions or just everyday life have become very hard and artificial-feeling for me. Like everything i do i am aware of and i think it through, even the dumbest stuff like scratching my fucking nose. Now when I'm around other people I lose all sense of who I am and what I want to do and say. I'm not even scared to embarass myself anymore, I just turn into a completely empty shell around others because it feels like all of myself is gone then, so it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to "be myself". What would myself do now? Smile? Say something? Move around in my seat? I literally dont know. Who am I even? And then I HAVE TO put on some kind of facade and try to act normal because otherwise i would literally sit there, staring blankly into space with no expression, not saying a word. It is so fucking hard. Sorry for telling you this, I hope you have a nice day if you ever read this <3

i completely understand what you mean, im in the same boat and honestly you articulated this so well.....ive nicknamed it social or mental atrophy and it's incredibly painful and disorienting to deal with......what's worse is you'd think the simple solution is to just force yourself to be around people more but it's not that simple at all and it just sucks so fucking bad. especially the older you get. im 23 too and i just feel like i never got to develop a mind or personality of my own around others. to this day im just on autopilot with nothing to offer and my natural state is just silence and not talking or expressing anything. people are obviously not very drawn to that and it's just a really lonely way to be but i quite literally don't know how to be anything else. i go through that too - just questioning what am i supposed to do in this moment? what would "i" do or say? i just don't know and ive tried really hard to push myself into social situations for years and it still hasn't changed anything. yeah, i completely get what you mean - it's really hard and im sorry you have to deal with it as well. i truly hope you find people who appreciate you the way you deserve to be appreciated. i hope you're able to discover yourself bit by bit and that you feel comfortable enough to express that someday. i hope you have a nice day too and if you ever need a friend or anything feel free to shoot me a message ❤️

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Okay, I can't be the only one, who thinks it's kinda ridiculous how people hate Lilith right?

And I think it's even more hypocritical of people to hate Lilith but love Lucifer/Alastor/Adam

Now- I'm not saying you can't dislike a character, no....but we've seen this women ONCE, not counting the story/flashback

And frankly, I don't think she's done anything worthy of, you know, being hated as much as she is

"She took Charlie form lucifer" the fuck she did, im 90% sure that Charlie snuck out of bed and went to find Luci and Lilith(if it was Lilith) jsut went 'no- no. You're supposed to be asleep'

There was no clear context that Charlie was being taken away form Lucifer- not to mention even-

Okay, let's say that they did divorce, which I'm not even sure if they did, and Lilith took Charlie to live with her

She CLEARLY did not keep Charlie AWAY from Luci, we see portraits/pictures of Charlie as a kid young adult, teenager, etc, in her dad's office/home

We even see family portraits with her as a kid and teen/young adult, so the divorce was also probably not until she was already fully grown

Keep in mind, Chalrie is canonically 200 years old, or older, this divorce could've been when she was, like, 180 she probably wasn't a kid when the separated

So even if she was taking Charlie away in that scene, it clearly was not forever and honestly doesn't seem possible with the timeline

"She abandoned charlie" so did....Lucifer??

Like, she mentions him not contacting her for a long time, the one phone call she DOES get from him is about a meeting, not exactly a meaningful conversation

And if he became like this after the 'divorce', then unless lilith divorced him and then left. That probably means Charlie hasn't had a meaningful talk with her dad for longer than 7 years

Or even seen him, I forget if Charlie says that 'this is the first time I'm seeing him in years' or smth

Not to mention Charlie clearly still loves her and views her in a positive light

"Shes in heaven" Okay....we don't know why tho??

I mean, personally, I like to think she's planning war crimes against heaven and is using whatever deal she and Adam had as a cover up

But we don't know the reason, it could be a good one! it could be a shitty one! We don't know!!

We know, like, 4 things about this women and people are already hating her, and I just don't get it

Like why?? What's the reason??

And maybe im overreacting or yall havnt seen the same fans/thing I have

But I've seen people say they hate Lilith but love Lucifer, I've seen people paint her in a bad light to either have a villian/antagonist or to show Adam in a better light, or to victomize/pity Alastor

And I just don't get it, how is she worse then Alastor or Lucifer here?

Which, even if she does own Al's soul, I don't think it'd be a big deal?? Like....Alastor owns souls to, and Lilith isn't abusing her power over him(unlike Al with Husk), I think if she did own his soul, she would've stoped him from suggesting a deal/favor to Charlie

I can't be the only one who thinks like this either right?

i also personally dont want her to be a villian and i also dont want sera to be a villian either; Lute is a good enough villian

Sera ALSO gets hate, which I don't really get. Like this women is trying her best to run heaven by herself and make sure nobody dies under her care

Like this, women clearly has truama/ptsd, just as lucifer does about his falling. And for the exterminations to be fair, if I was told a bunch of rapists and serial killers were coming to my house, I'd grab the gun too!!

Doesn't mean all sinners are like that, I'm sure a lot are in hell for minor crimes, but heaven doesn't know that!

Cut her some slack man, I doubt she's had a nap in 4+ billion years

Also this isn't hate on any of the characters, I absolutely love lucifer, I just think that people needa stop painting lilith and/or sera to be the bad guy

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

It's not even that I don't see how/why the characters would act this way. My biggest question in this arc is why? I get it, this story is made for daily uploads it's not going to be perfect but this entire arc really feels like every choice is somehow the worst one.

Earth gave up on Moon immediately but still loved the Creator even after knowing he didn't love her.

Sun giving up on Moon.

Lunar doing nothing/not really caring.

Moon hurting Earth.

Again, I see how these characters could act this way but the question is why. Why are we choosing the worst options here. I get the angst and I get how all these choices reveals flaws within each character (Earth immediately wiped her hands on Lunar and Moon once their actions hurt her (talking pre-star power thing), Sun has been dealing with Moon since before this Moon can remember and is tired of the back and forth, Moon was grieving, possibly burnt out and just wants things be over, i dont get Lunar's problem actually), but it feels like the core is just gone. They're family who always they'll be there through this together and can we please see that instead of this?

(Sorry I just wanted to vent for a minute I'm questioning choices.)

No, you are exactly right, and this is how I feel too.

I hear the argument that "well Moon didn't want help so..."

Moon was punching the ground and seeing hallucinations.

Monty nor Spaniard told anyone about this....

Moon was left alone in grief.

Lunar didn't care.

Earth and Sun were always together.

And.. like... To some point I get it...

But this whole timeline feels like your picking the worst options in a video game to see what happens. Like the no mercy route in Undertale or the Renegade route in Mass effect.

Can I just say of... I hate this whole modernist viewpoint that's gotten worse with the internet that "no one owes anyone anything"

Like ..... Sure. Take care of yourself.

But .. don't ignore everyone else in your life? Have some compassion..

It's when "self care" turns to toxic positivity and narcissism.

While not intentional it feels like this arc villainizes grief and weaponizes self care to a degree I haven't seen the show do before.

[cowboy-robooty]

something that i think is sooooo stupid is this obsession people have with being "good for their age" at art. i know a million people say this and talk about this sentiment being harmful already but i really do think it is a terrible way to think about things. Art is a skill just like being good at math or playing basketball and I think its stupid when people put the worth of their skillset in tandem with their age because also it completely disregards the notion of how everybody lives in different ways. Michaelangelo was so good at art not only because he was a genius but also because bro literally woke up every mf day and only drew since he was a little baby so no shit he could make amazing sculptures in his early 20s. Everyone lives with so many different responsibilities and different amounts of freetime, so really i think its quite stupid to say someone is "good for their age" because that doesnt say anything about their ability to budget their time or naturally progress or commit to the grind despite everything or really anything at all since you dont have any idea about what kind of life they live. There are crazy artists out there who go to cram school for 11 hours a day on top of extracirriculars + volunteer work and still manage to create with the same skill level as someone who is the president of going home club. You dont know the resource of time that is ACTUALLY avaliable to one person compared to others using their age, so its stupid to act as though that its such a big deal. I personally dont think ive ever been good at drawing for my age and thats fine because I dont care about that. I could be good at drawing for my age if i committed more freetime to practicing it, but i dont because i dont want to. just like how i could be a super scholar whiz at chemistry or something but im not because I dont want to spend all my freetime doing problems and reading textbooks. I dont think the progress id make in those kinds of skills are worth missing watching a movie with my friends or learning how to bake a cake or enjoying a walk on a trail. I think anybody can be a genius at anything if they put their mind to it, but it also comes at great suffering most of the time because a lot of sacrifices have to be made and being able to embrace the choices you make with the limited time you have is important to being happy with what you have. Like yknow celebrating the stuff you were able to collect instead of mourning all the things you wish you had. I think only very few people are actually good at art for their age, like how einstein is one of the few people who was for real smart for his age and that is okay because what matters is having something you feel passion in doing. For a lot of people if they actually forced themselves to sacrifice what they needed to in order to be "good for their age" they would probably lose the passion in their craft during that process; which is probably one of the only ways to make the skill of drawing useless.

[im-me-he-says]

(Okay I wasnt going to post this but im actually pissed off.)

((TW INFERTILITY))

Dear Bridgerton fans who are unreasonably angry at Michael being Micheala in the new season,

You still have the book.

Let me bring up points that I've seen in arguments online:

1- "But her story is about infertility! Putting her with a woman changes everything!"

Queer women struggle with infertility too, in fact it can be very difficult for lesbians who wish to start families of their own as not everyone is able to adopt or find a sperm donor, and even if a sperm donor is found THEY CAN STILL HAVE INFERTILITY ISSUES.

Let me list off romance books that deal with cishet women and their infertility issues below-

Untamed Rose, Scandalous Mistress by Bronwyn Scott

The Devil in Disguise by Lisa Kleypas

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt

What's Left of Me by Kristen Granata

Lord and Lady Spy by Shana Galen (this one is regency too)

A Secret Sorrow by Karen Van Der Zees

And many more if you google I just dont have all day.

(Extra point, in many of these books the women do not stay infertile and have a miracle baby...not only do many cishet women never get their miracle baby but lesbian couples literally cannot concieve)

And now let me list of books that deal with Lesbian women and their fertility issues-

.....

OH WAIT I COULDNT FIND A SINGLE ONE!!

This leads me to my next point.

2- Bridgerton is a love letter to minorities in romance.

As someone who is south asian myself, I have seen how western beauty standards and racism has treated women in our culture, literally go online and search up "which race would you not date" its disgusting.

I grew up only seeing white women be the desirable one in romances as did many others, you know what changed this for me?

Kate Sharma.

The international audience for Bridgerton especially with brown women of South Asian descent grew TREMENDOUSLY. We had a woman like us portrayed positively and seen as desirable, you guys genuinely do not understand how many brown women watch this show because of season 2.

If we had Kate, WHY should Lesbians struggling with infertility and Black Lesbians not have Francesca and Micheala.

3- "It should have been Eloise and Cressida!"

Why? Because Eloise is a loud mouthed feminist and Cressida is a mean blonde and they shared an understanding? Because theyre both white?

While I do want Eloise to be queer as well just think about that for a moment, while lesbian representation is scarce these days it is even scarcer for Lesbians who do not fit the norm...the mostly white, neurotypical, skinny, cis norm.

Genuinely think about how many times ypu have seen these tropes in wlw fiction, like sit and think about it.

Such as Black lesbians for example, you all are aware they exist right?

I want to reccomend this video by a sunny book nook which talks about how lesbians in a VAST MAJORITY of lesbian romance novels arent really...allowed to be complex characters and it would be some FANTASTIC insight for some of yall

In conclusion, you are allowed to miss Michael, but don't you dare say this takes away from her story, as it ties into the very aim of the show.

Thank you for reading.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts BEHOLD. NEW HAVEN WARDS: THE WIBBY AND DAVID DYNAMIC ESSAY. this got way too fucking long 2 put in ur inbox so im making a post about it. ENJOY THE STICK FIGURE VIOLENCE <3

okay im just gonna start from the beginnign here and try not to get too sidetracked as i go (<< me when i lie) um. so. still not entirely clear on what williams trigger event would be so that may change how some of this works out logistics wise. but just assuming it would be SOMEWHAT similar to pd- william dies/has his near death experience and is Changed By It. in obvious ways that are impossible to hide. his parents find out because he had been missing for days and presumed dead so when he came back home covered in mud and dried blood and Different, everyone kind of broke down. they know about his powers from the start. william hates them (the powers, not his parents) but his dad especially has always been very supportive of capes and urges william to use them for something good! his mom, who has always grieved the lack of a relationship between her two sons, brings up the suggestion "hey, you know what! yeah! your older brother just so happens to live in a city with a really good cape population, maybe you can go live with him for a bit while you go to school <3" (<< this is also going off the assumption that the general public doesnt really. understand. capes much. his parents dont know theyre signing him up to be a child soldier and die before 40. they love him so much and just want the best for him- if they knew about all that they wouldve never even made the suggestion. but they see how much his powers are hurting him and theyre grieving the death of their youngest son who is still. awake and sitting in his bedroom. and i dont think any of them know how to deal with that)

william, not really having a place to argue from or another option to even consider, reluctantly agrees. hes too caught up in the fear and worry and unpredictability of his powers to even imagine himself as one of the heroes. but he goes anyway. and lives with david. its just as painfully icy as you imagine- david never signed up to be a permanent babysitter, i imagine theres a lot of. phonecalls overheard through the walls of his apartment of david on the phone with their mom asking if this was some sort of punishment. david spends all his time at his office and never takes time to even get to know william. he still takes care of him- he has the money for a penthouse apartment and keeps groceries stocked- but its not like theyre having cozy family meals every night. this does wonderful things for williams mental health obviously. which im sure makes his powers feel so much better (<< this is sarcasm). they dont talk much. obviously. william knows david works for/runs a branch of some tech company but thats about the extent of his knowledge and he never cares to ask further details than that. theres a little bit of resentment there on williams side (william wisp, known jealous petty little bitch- "i thought you were the first good thing to come out of deadwood"). david is someone who's important and has his life together and william is. in his own mind. a freak.

after joining the wards program and meeting dakota and virion and such. william IMMEDIATELY decides he is going to spend less and less and less time at davids place. and so the fucking. chasm between them grows. mutual good riddance. (they dont hate each other. theres just. not a whole lot of care there. but theyre still family, yknow?) and its just like. the BARE MINIMUM amount of contact. william stops by davids place to like. get stuff from his bedroom. uses davids apartment as storage for things he can't keep at the wards base (are teen superheroes allowed to smoke? i imagine that cant be good for their public image). so its not like they totally cut contact theres just. even less of it than there was before.

and then william learns about the SIGNIFICANT importance of keeping your cape and civilian identities separate. any villain who learns who you are behind the mask can be a threat to not only you but also your family. william, who loves his parents very much and knows they love him back, wants to protect them at all costs. conveniently, he doesn't live with his parents anymore. his current guardian just so happened to keep their mom's maiden name. so what does he do! bam. easy fix, change your last name to match with your brother. satisfies the heroes a little bit because its that extra step harder to connect william with people outside the city, AND its not suspicious on the civilian side either because. i mean he still matches surnames with his family. surely this will not come back to bite him (foreshadowing). i think it would be PERFECTLY in character and slimy for david to get a kick out of this name change btw. its been weeks since theyve spoken full sentences to each other but the next time william goes back to the apartment david is there at the kitchen table and just kind of laughs at the paperwork like "aw, little brother, i didn't realize you liked living with me that much. im flattered" etc. etc. eugh

behold! i can call him wibby now. awesome. so cool. anyway.

blahblah whatever whatever. im saying for au convenience david lives in new haven even though in pd canon he technically lives in freedom city. don't worry about it. HOWEVER. this becomes important. new haven wards are like?? vaguely sometimes in contact with the wards of the nearest settlement with a significant cape population- freedom city! this is alan, x, cantrip. I think they probably have like. fun friendly sparring matches sometimes (like the cage matches where they first met but like... legal. and mario kart!) but aren't close enough to be Friend Friends. freedom city wards uncover some shady underground company using illegal research (nhw equivalent of harttawa? dying 2 link this back to mark somehow bc im always thinking abt him but i KNOW u have plans for him already and im dying 2 know them) to give people artificial powers (connected to cauldron in some way but not obvious about it. ill explain this more in a minute) and guess who this gets linked back to. our one and only lovely wicked david bell. freedom city wards don't know williams connection to him since they wouldn't know his civ name. I don't think he would tell them. i also don't think they would actually TALK to David here like they do in canon, i think the heist goes a little more successfully and he's not actually physically THERE so all that happens is that they sneak in and see a bunch of files/papers. and william makes the connection with David's name and maybe picture. but the whole. killing a bunch of guards still happens. "its okay they're villains" etc. i don't know who would run freedom city wards program but they're more. loose about the rules than in new haven. which is why xavier and cantrip are Like That.

anyway on the way back to new haven william is REALLY shaken and dakota and virion obv pick up on that right away (i think they'd also know OF williams brother but not a lot of details bc he never talks about him.) william tells them that that was David and doesn't know what to do etc etc . I think he avoids the apartment for a looooot longer than he usually does because he doesn't want to accidentally run into David there and have to confront this. I think he's probably shell shocked by the idea a little- david is VERY MUCH against the hero program and doesn't like capes at all and is very vocal about that fact (this is pd canon too)!! why the fuck would he be working with the company that gives people powers and Makes More Capes! even though his mystery solving brain is going into overdrive thinking about the reasons and details and minutae of this discovery, william is also chronically avoidant of all his personal problems so i don't think he does any digging into it yet. until. well. the freedom city wards go missing

they on the other hand DID do a lot more digging into this. and david caught on to them and we end up with the scene in the basement . this is where I'm gonna get sidetracked bc there's a lot of information I'm thinking about at the beginning of all this

when william/vyncent/tide get there it's a very similar scene to in pd. x and cantrip are chained up, david has allen cut open on a table. william is. HORRIFIED. maybe even moreso than in pd.

x is even more immediately hostile to william when he and cantrip wake up because part of the information they uncovered in doing their own digging was the fact that david and william are related. and this pisses x off SO BAD because william never told them. and I think he uses wills secret identity against him and that's part of the reason william is SO DESPERATE to stop him. Just imagining that scene in the hallway at the beginning where they're screaming at each other and x just goes "that's your fucking *brother?* you're related to that monster and you never thought to, yknow, share that little bit of information with us?! william bell?????" and as soon as x says his name william just SNAPS and swings the axe at him .

anyway. back to the basement scene. david does his whole manipulative villain monologue with a scalpel to Allen's heart and we learn David is the head of an offshoot branch of cauldron (thinking about like maybe where they sell the vials to people under the guise of experimental medical treatment? for their own research purposes on how the vials affect people. real unethical shit! I feel like I need 2 learn more about cauldrons motivations before I set this in stone though) . anyway. we also learn here that david Has Fucking Powers. I don't know exactly what those would be right now but I think they would be pretty... inconsequential and at a really low power rating, but just that fact alone is enough for him to almost lose william completely.

this whole time william is just full of this icy dread and betrayal, but as SOON as david reveals he has powers that all just snaps to rage. comparable to that feeling where you've been bullied for something for years and then one day everyone decides that same thing is cool now. ("how long. how *long*, david? did you have these powers while you shunned me, sat on the phone with mom in the other room complaining about how much of a freak your little brother is? how *painfully sad* it is for you to share an apartment with the corpse of your baby brother, trying to get mom to pity you enough to take me back and get me out of your hair?")

and ofc david being who he is has some sort of slimy manipulation that saves his ass and gets william back on his side. tide and virion being there they immediately see right the FUCK through it but I think william would be compromised enough at that point that he wouldn't be thinking clearly enough to listen to them. (also side note . like I said I'm VERY undecided on what davids powers would actually be but the two ideas I've been bouncing back and forth are a) some kind of medical Thinker which is how he knows how to put allen back together the right way or b) some kind of Master which makes the manipulation thing worse <3. so maybe wibby is compromised bc davids using his powers on him. if it's the second option. smile!)

anyway wibby goes on his nightmare arc. right. even more fucked up bc of what x says to him about his identity. I actually think a lot of this stays the same but just with the addition of context and also the thing I said yesterday about the guards radioing to each other to evacuate.

everything happens pretty much the same with cantrip and he and virion getting back to the office only to find everything totally wiped clean already. william still does the Nightmare Thing in davids apartment afterward. still undecided in whether or not their parents will be there? I guess it depends on what we do with the trickster. (oh god I haven't even thought about the trickster irt new haven wards. fuck!) . I think actually I'm leaning more toward having them NOT being there? because I think william reigned himself in because he didn't want to scare them too much. and this is worm world i don't WANT wibby to reign himself in at all. I want him to go fucking nightmare apeshit.

btw this whole time? virion stays with him and it scares the SHIT out of him. he's still going to stay because ... this is william. this is his best friend (gay) and he HAS to trust that he knows what he's doing. I think afterward william stands up, david still unconscious on the floor, and there are silent tears streaming down his face and there's this expression of rage and betrayal and grief on his face that virion has NEVER seen on another person. so he reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder or maybe offer a hug (which in my mind is HUGE for him bc I've been imagining virion being SUPER careful and sort of avoidant about physical touch bc of his powers) but then william goes to brush his hand away as he walks out of the room and there's just the briefest moment of skin to skin contact. and it only lasts for maybe a second but virion gets this BURST of williams powers and it's terrifying. he can see and feel and hear and know *exactly* what william just did. it goes away almost immediately but the force of it is enough to throw virion off balance for a second as he processes it and when he comes to again he is just. shaking. and he doesn't say anything to william but he *knows* now and he doesn't know what to do with that information. hes scared out of his fucking mind but he's also. sad. he's REALLY fucking sad his best friend (gay) just had to do something like that. and he's not good with words so he doesn't say anything but he stays there. he stays by williams side despite everything. ughahhvhh

uhhhh final note. pain and suffering. william gets a whole Fucking Complex about sharing a name with david after this. but he still doesn't change it back to wisp because he knows x knows his identity now. which means he doesn't know how many other people could know, how many other people x will tell out of spite as a way to get back at him (<< william wisp paranoia WIN) and it's. LEAGUES better that any potential enemies would come after david and hurt david. (in fact he probably privately wishes for something like that to happen. hed never say that out loud though). using his name as a kind of shield even though it hurts like hell to be connected to his brother like that.

anyway! yeah! wisp-bell brothers torment nexus or whatever!

[giverofempathy]

sundays are always. something i guess

[coolxatu]

hey got some important news. the affordable connectivity program that helps poor and disabled people afford internet is going to run out of funding by april 2024 if we can't convince congress to renew it

i know emailing and calling politicians often seems like a waste of time, but this is gonna hurt alot of people (myself included) if this program is allowed to disappear. we really need to raise some awareness and get this program the funding that it needs. ACP is a game changer for literally millions of people. this is the only way many homes can even get internet, and in this day and age internet access is pretty much a necessity for almost everything. its gonna be a huge blow to have this vital program taken away from those who depend on it.

[soup-child]

The fact that Adaine "i don't know if im asexual im 15" Abernant and Riz "why is everyone so horny im definately aroace" Gukgak both being in the same show is incredibly important to me

[mishy-mashy]

Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list

He's:

Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)

Long-legged

Has a straight nose bridge

Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)

Has a strong jawline

Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)

Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features

Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)

Even has a thick, muscly neck

He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)

(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-

-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)

The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one

Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute

Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:

Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)

Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO

Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor

Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.

Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.

Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?

Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor

He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.

Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.

These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.

Is logical, analytical, and calm.

He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.

Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).

Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.

We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.

Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya

While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.

Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.

He actually communicates a lot

When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.

(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])

When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.

He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".

Is strong-willed and loyal.

He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.

Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.

AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.

Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.

Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.

[ganondoodle]

so

ninetdy just announced that they are, and have been, working on a live action zelda.

i am not joking.

like i needed to lose my only source of sanity right now too, fkying hell

there goes my hyperfixation i guess.

[moeblob]

[potatobugz]

I think about the implications of Syntax being a human turned spider demon forever, ok ?