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vonev · 1 year

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The Executioner (and the judge) II

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader

Chapter 2: and in the confinement of your heart, leave me haunted

Part I Part II Part III

Words: 4.6k Summary: Coming back isn't easy, nor is the reality that you'll have to face everyone easier.

a/n: so excited to be revealing more of the plot!!

“Hello?”

For an entire second, the world stops around you; your breathing hitches in your throat, teeth biting on the skin of your finger, eyes frantically dancing around every inch of your lap.

Her voice brings back memories: ones you suppressed to the back of your mind for so long, just to be lit up in flames once more as easily as you’ve smothered it before.

It brings back the numerous springs fleeting away within the blink of an eye; how the clouds would accompany your loneliness amidst trials and tribulations, during dire times when you’d be left stranded alone somewhere with only yourself to lookout for. To save.

Summers go by just as quick; if not quicker. A knowing, familiar look from your lieutenant—his lips on your skin, breaths fanning across your face, hands grabbing at whatever he could, because he had just realized he’d spend the rest of his life with you; till death do you both apart, quite literally.

It takes you back to the several autumns spent, where the bunch of you would gather in the living room at a safe house with blankets and hot coffee and tea for each of you as you all but wilted away in the approaching cold.

It reminds you of the last winter wasted with blood on your hands and a gunshot to your oblique, head spinning as voices shouted over your prone figure; blurry eyes and even blurrier nights with a strong hand supporting the back of your busted head, your figure molding into his arms like you had always belonged there: with him.

That’s what you lost, you think. The sense of belonging, of safety.

There wasn’t a day gone by where you wouldn’t think of him and those sullen eyes of his you adored, and still do.

Will he resent you? You hoped not, fingers crossed that somehow, someway, he’ll forgive you—the rest of the team, too. Because as much as it hurt them to see you gone; you had been the one quietly suffering in silence, with absolutely no one to turn to: because who would hear your cries in the nights you’d wallow up in loneliness and days spent tucking away in your bed to will the sadness away? No one. None except for him who stuck by, through thin and thick, like the birds of a feather he kept to you.

Yet you couldn’t find a reason to go back; a proper one.

It hadn’t been easy for you to decide to end it all and leave for good; you posed too much of a danger to everyone around you. Misfortune seems to favor you the best amongst all.

Everywhere you go, people die.

Hells, you somehow managed to bring an entire town down with only your existence.

Yet you live through it all practically unscathed to see the damage, to see what you alone can do to the people around you: nothing good. Demise seems to trail your back, sit in the dark in the corner of your room, live in your shadows.

“…if this is a prank call, it’s not funny.”

Her voice snaps you back to the present.

Mindlessly, you let out a small snort. Even though you haven’t seen her for so long, she still seems to be grounding you in the moment. Her presence has always been. Especially during tough missions when morale would be at its lowest, she would be there to cheer the entire team up—somehow.

“Kate.”

“I—“

It sounds like she’s choking back annoyance behind the line, trying her best to remain her composure and keep the professionalism intact.

“This isn’t funny, whoever you are.” Kate groans, and from the sound of it, the squeak of a chair indicates her getting up from it; probably pacing around the room as you both speak. “I know you’re using a voice changer, so drop the act, what do you want?”

“I need your help, Kate,” you mutter, still in trance upon hearing her voice grumble through the microphone.

“And I need you to stop using my friend’s voice—it’s creeping me the fuck out.”

“I am your friend,” you speak up with a newfound confidence, determined to see through this conversation and convince Kate that Yes, I’m alive and No, I have never died.

“No, no you’re not—“ she sounds really mad now. “—because my friend is dead .”

Your body freezes up at the venom in her tone, the reminder of your ‘death’ ; back in the foreign forest near a Soviet compound where you should’ve died of blood loss. Because fate just had to play you, even in your ‘last’ moment. You still weren’t sure if you were truly alive after that fiasco with the Barkov, you felt that a piece of you was stripped away, like you’d unknowingly traded your soul for another chance at living.

Not that it’s ever that easy, of course.

“It’s me, Kate, I swear.”

Silence fills the room once more.

Seconds ticks by, and yet not another word spoken between the two of you.

“…Sweets?”

Ah. That’s a name you haven’t heard in a while: your callsign.

It was funny, really, how it was assigned to you in the first place: back at the headquarters with the entire 141 lounging inside the kitchen in a secluded safe house, you had all been bouncing back and forths with a callsign for you—you were a new recruit, so naturally, they’d need a nickname for you to refer by other than, well, your name.

Names felt too personal; like a thin thread no one is exactly allowed to cross unless permitted, you had told yourself you’d scowl at any stranger who dared to utter your name in greeting, it’s only ever reserved for the special people. And during that time, your special people had died in a battle you fought, the vision of their decapitated limbs still fresh in your mind as you felt yourself zone out.

“—Sweets.”

The debate halted, and every head in the room simultaneously turned to him who stood by the kitchen countertop, stirring his tea away in silence. His suggestion was a shock to you, especially since he didn’t talk much—not to you, anyway. Your eyes widened in surprise, lips slightly parted as you were about to ask a question hung in the air.

“Why?” Gaz had beaten you to it. His voice rings out in the quiet atmosphere the room fell into; his head tilted as you all stared at the back of his mask intently.

“She likes sweets,” he muttered, barely above a whisper. He continues to stir away with a little teaspoon, his eyes drifting to your dumbfounded face and lingered.

“Caught her red handed with her trousers down and hands in the snack cabinet,” he shrugged.

Your mouth hung wide open, not wanting to believe what had just occurred. Your face felt heated, embarrassed at being exposed to so many people you’ve not grown familiar with—naked and humiliated.

“You!”

You shot up from the stool, internally cringing at the loud scratchy noise of the legs against the beaten hardwood floor.

“You’ve no right to call me out, hypocrite.”

“Oh?”

He turned around, fingers still clutching at the hem of the teaspoon, his exhausted eyes held your stare.

“That’s right, it has been you who was eating away all my snacks! My sweets!”

His gaze remained nonchalant, yet you could spot the hint of mischief behind those stares—he shrugged.

“Not my fault we’ve got a rat runnin’ ‘round, no?”

The audacity—

— “Watch your back, Ghost.” With a final scoff, you stomped away from the kitchen and back into your dorm. His stare still fresh on the back of your head as you burrowed yourself into your pillow and groaned.

Oh yeah.

You and Simon hadn’t started off smooth and easy.

“Kate,” you whisper into your phone, fingers gripping the sides of your phone with much intensity. “I missed you.”

“You—“

Knowing her for years, you could see the way she’s desperately trying to maintain her demeanor, to not completely go batshit and lash out on you; even though you did deserve it. Instead, you hear her take a few deep breaths over the phone, a soft incoherent murmur and a couple of shuffling on her side before she speaks again.

“I don’t even know what to do with you right now, you know that?” She chuckles, but it doesn’t hold the lightheartedness it should’ve, it sounds bitter, angry.

“I know…” you take a moment to yourself and sighed. “I’m sorry for walking out on you.”

“Walking out isn’t even the right term,” she grunts. “You were supposed to be dead!”

“Yeah I’m—I’m aware.”

“…and?”

“…and I’m sincerely sorry, from the bottom of my heart,” it’s true; you have always carried the heavy guilt of leaving your teammates behind throughout all your years.

“I just—“

“Before you say anything else, answer me this—“ she halts, and if you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve missed the way her voice falters slightly.

“Are you going to walk out on us again?”

Huh.

Out of all the questions she could’ve asked, you’re rather surprised by the one she does ask. It makes you stop and think over your next words.

“Not doing that again,” with a deep breath, you nod to yourself.

Never again.

Both of you spend the next half an hour catching up; or trying your best to—because after you were gone, a lot had happened between the 141.

World-ending missions, political conflicts (so much of it), an upgraded headquarters, and Kate being promoted—all of them did, actually.

It makes sense; you were there for the beginning of it all, when the three of you sat around a table and Price put a name on the task force he created, nurtured. He did a damn great job, too. You’re relieved to find out that everyone you know is still alive and well; saved for a couple of more emotional and physical trauma added on. But who’s still counting anyway?

Biting the inside of your cheek, you hold back the urge to ask how he has been doing; is he well? Has he been on his usual shenanigans when you’ve been gone? Does he think about you the way you do with him?

…has he found someone new?

You don’t ask, because you’re afraid the answer might cave your heart in, and you’ve had too much of that.

“Let me get this straight,” Kate sighed. “You want me to fly you out to Urzikstan?”

With a hand on your hip, you pace around the cold concrete floor of your bunker.

“Yes.”

“And may I ask for the reason?”

“You must know, Kate, it’s quite obvious—“

“—Don’t fucking tell me—“

“I’m going to murder Viktor.”

There it is again. The familiar silence that only festers deep within the tiny confinement of your room, nestling into the cracks of the wall and the dent in your heart.

“I can’t let you do that, Sweets.”

“Yes you can, I know you can.” You’re growing frustrated; not particularly at Kate, but the convoluted situation at hand. It’d be so easy: drop you in Urzikstan where the Al-Qatalas reside, then slaughter your way to Viktor, before he joins the rest of his dead comrades as well.

In fact, you’re sure you’ve done something similar before; with the Russians especially.

“You can’t force my hands here, I’m tied. Sweets.” She hesitates. “Plus, Shepherd will kill me if he finds out.”

“What if he doesn’t?” You press on. “Send me along with one of your guys to be deployed there, we’ll come up with a plan, and I’ll be under a new name—new disguise.”

“It’s not that easy, stop making it sound like we're planning a shopping trip,” Kate grunts on the other end. “This will cause an outright war, a massive conflict.”

“I fail to see the issue here.”

“The issue is—hold on,” Kate’s voice grows faint, and from what you can hear, someone has knocked on her door.

The next few minutes consist of a bunch of mumbo-jumbo of words you couldn’t decipher, only movements on the other line and some deep grunts, possibly from the man speaking to her.

“—we found him—KorTac—infiltrate…König—”

KorTac? The KorTac?

The task force had mingled with the private company, sure, but they’ve always been off-limits when it came to being directly involved with missions, mostly providing much needed intel but never their operators; have they switched up their agenda?

Rubbing the knitted tension in your temple, you exhale in annoyance, confused and curious—If KorTac is involved with the task force then, how come they haven’t tried to search for you all these years? Admittedly, it makes you bitter, the grip on your heart only grows tighter and your breathing gets quicker.

They’ve given up on you so easily.

As the soft murmurs of a chatter on the line continues, your eyes flicker over to a framed photograph sitting atop a couple stacked books: in the picture was the entire 141, grouped together for a quick cheeky selfie Soap took during a downtime in a mission. All your smiles reached your eyes, except for Simon who never has his mask off—he’s the odd one out, always has been.

You know his face though; he’s shown you himself, when he’s the most vulnerable—and honestly, it made him even more desirable: to see a side of him most will never have the pleasure of knowing, the way he’d hold you against his chest in bed, when he’d silently sob into your shoulder during tough times.

To the world, he was Ghost. But to you, he was Simon Riley himself.

You missed him. You still do.

But you can’t help shudder at the thought of meeting him again; Simon was never a man of casualness, he doesn’t crack jokes with strangers and show how broken of a man he actually is—to everyone else, he’s a human killing machine, a renowned executioner with the guns he’d carry. Everyone would cower at his presence, turn away at the sight of him, anything to not get in his radar; anything to avoid him altogether.

It’s understandable, he’s always had an intimidating aura and a tough shell to crack. Unless you were in the 141, you’d never know that he secretly enjoys Cradburry bars and black tea in his free time, maybe even plays a game of poker or two and religiously sharpens his pocket knives.

Under that tough shell, is a man with an empty void in his heart desperately needed to be tended to; and you filled in that slot easily.

Oftentimes you’d sleep to the ghost of his warm embrace behind you, that’s how you fight insomnia; the thought of his arms circling your midsection the way it always did, like the perfect puzzle piece to an empty socket.

You dream of him, too.

Nightmares would cloud your sleep; of when you’d both meet again, except he’d turn away upon seeing you and scoff. ‘This is what you get for leaving me, for leaving us.’ he’d say in those sequences, unknowingly shattering your already fragile heart to tiny pieces.

A few times, you’d dream the better of him: both of you meeting under a better circumstance, rekindling an old bond that was once lost and found again, he’d hold your hand in his as you both walk toward sunset.

You’d always wake up crying after, the thought of a timeline where you both existed in peace and love was too much to bear.

Because you know it’ll never be true.

Especially not when you both fought tooth and nail everyday to stay alive; your yourselves, for the team. It’d be a miracle if you had a proper room for a breather.

At least you had him to run to for comfort; just as he does with you.

“Thank you—“ The muffled sound of doors closing pulls you back from your daydreaming. “Sorry, you're still there, Sweets?” Kate’s voice rings out with a hint of concern; in case you run out on her when she’s distracted.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m here.”

Kate sighs in relief.

“I think I can do something for you.”

Your ears instantly perk up at her words, listening intently as your head tilts closer to the phone.

“But first, we’ll need to get you here in the States, sounds cool?”

“Fuck yes.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Fuck no.”

Kate stares at you, dumbfounded and honestly, a tad bit offended.

“You need this if you want to do what you wanna do.”

“And die by the hands of the Russians? Not again.” You cross your arms, eyes narrowing down at the file in front of you.

Kate’s eyebrows furrow, she’s clearly frustrated as well—you’ve been stubborn ever since you landed at the base in the United States, after a quick briefing of a mission taking place in Russia in a secret meeting room with Kate, you quickly suppressed the urge of participating.

“It’s not worth it, those bastards are ruthless.” You grumble under your breath; maybe it was a bad idea after all, you wouldn’t be able to live if you encounter Barkov’s men again.

They’d put a bullet through your head on sight.

“You won’t be going alone,” she shuffles through a couple of pages on the file and picks out a sheet from in-between, sliding the piece of paper across the table to where you sit.

“He’ll accompany you.”

Scanning the piece of information, you quickly come to a realization that he’s a KorTac contractor. His details sprawl out on the sheet as you slowly drink them in; König—you recall the name from the phone call with Kate, you hadn’t expected he would adorn a veil with two holes for his eyes to peer through…it looked a little silly, but you wouldn’t say that to his face. Because if you thread wrongly, he could snap you with his fingers just as easily; he’s built like a mountain, probably throws a punch that lands like one, too.

“I see that look, and I get it,” Kate rubs the back of her neck. “But he’s harmless—if you’re an ally.”

You nod, “Alright. When and where do we start?”

Kate’s fingers press a couple of buttons on the remote she holds before the projector screen behind her flashes a new image; the picture of a map pops, Kate grabs a red pen and circles the area up north of the map.

“We’ll send you both here to infiltrate early, before the other task force arrives to help.” She pauses in her movement, gently putting the pen down to pick up the remote again as a new image flashes through: a clear portrait of Roman Barkov.

The man who almost led you to your death.

“We need him alive, so don’t try anything funny,” you feign offense as you gasp and hold a hand over where your beating heart stands.

“I would never.”

Her eyes flicker towards you, a ‘Uh huh, sure’ look plaster on her nonchalant features. “We’ll get started this Friday, I’ve already assigned you a dorm—don’t worry, no one else knows you’re here.”

She slides another file across the table to you, you stop its momentum with your fingers, eyes glossing over the exposed file.

“Huh, this copy looks legit.” You pick up the file and stare at the words: on it, is a portrait of a supposed mercenary. Despite all the illegitimate information on it, the copy seems professional, she even laminated the paper, for some reason. “This is me?”

Kate nods, “It’s you, but obviously not you, you. It’s just a fake to get by, otherwise people would start questioning, and we’d have a lot more on our plate.”

She wouldn’t be wrong; your sudden appearance would shake the unit up—you’re sure Shepherd would be on your tail right away, which would be the last thing you’d want as of now.

At the same time, you’re not sure if you’re ready to come back to 141; if you’re still welcomed by your peers, that is.

“We’ll get you set up, I know you brought your own weaponry, but a tad bit more cover up would set you straight—God, I’m gonna need to do so much paperwork for this.”

You let out a soft chuckle—you’ve truly missed the lighthearted conversations with the people you love; sharing giggles over a couple of easygoing banter, engulfed in the warmth of a found family. You had thrown it all away when you made the ultimate decision to up and leave; sometimes, as you lay on your rock-hard mattress at night, you wonder how life would’ve continued had you chosen to turn back around. It’s…slightly too late to discuss such matters anymore, not when lives are at stake, your life is at stake.

The only way to bypass tyranny and continue your mundane life was to assassinate Viktor; but you’d need Barkov and his men dead before proceeding with that idea.

Which, as you tilt your head to the side, watching Kate shuffle through several screens on the projector and giving you an in-depth briefing; makes you wonder—

—why does Shepherd want him alive?

“You mentioned calling in a task force to help, who are they?” You yawn, the jet lag from before slowly catching up to you, rubbing your eyes in a sheepish manner.

“Who else?” A smirk finds its way to the corner of Kate’s lips, and as you ponder over her words, the dread of your realization dawns on you.

“They—I can’t, Kate. Anyone but them.”

Her brows knits together, her annoyance showing through despite her best effort.

“Yes, yes you can.” She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Kate looks up at you, her worried eyes searching for yours that screams terror back at her; you’re terrified. Terrified of the idea of meeting them so soon, everything still feels so raw, so fresh. It hasn’t even been a full day since you stepped foot in America, having to approach a bunch of old friends who thought you’d been dead for the past few years would reopen an old wound, one that you’d been trying your best to nurture—the more you try, the worse you fail.

How would you be able to see Price, Johnny, and Kyle in the face? Laugh with them the same again?

How would you be able to stand in front of Simon, a man who experienced nothing but loss throughout his entire life, and tell him that you are truly sorry for everything you’ve done? What you did to him.

It hurts to dwell on the thought that things wouldn’t be the same anymore, not after everything. Not after the stunt you pulled.

“It’ll be hard, Sweets, but you can’t keep running away from things.”

For a flash of a second, you see red.

Anger silently brewing at the pit of your gut, your hand tightens into a fist, and a cold sweat breaks out on your skin. You want to correct her; that no, I didn’t run away—you guys gave up on me long ago.

Sure, you’d made the decision to leave—but it didn’t count for the sleepless nights you spent inside the cold compound of Barkov’s ground, hiding from his men, surviving only because by sheer luck you had kept yourself safe in an abandoned storage room. Weeks would go by yet as you toyed with the stolen radio and matched its frequency to 141’s, only silence greeted you, even as you begged and cried—for anyone to pick you up, for someone.

No one else was there for you when you’d puncture your deep gash with staples and rubbing alcohol being the only thing you managed to scavenge, something to keep you alive a little longer; something to keep their hopes up, that one day, they might just come and get you.

But they never did.

So you left. You left with the loot you found angrily stashed away into a worn duffel bag, you left with the unforgiving winter air biting into the skin of your soles and nearly freezing your blood, numbing your every move as you trek through mountains of snow. You stayed inside a small hut for a safehouse, having gotten sick from hours of traveling through the harsh winter, with only a barely functioning fireplace to aid you in your worst moment.

They gave up on you, so you left.

“Thank you for today, but I’ll be heading to bed now.”

Without another word, you stand up from your seat, the chair rolls away as you continue to stalk toward the door.

Kate stares at you, her gaze full of concern; she’d never seen you lash out or lose your temper, yet she’d be a fool to provoke you. So she lets you leave the room without another question, without chasing you down as much as she wants to.

“And another thing, Kate,” you pause, hand clutching at the handle of the steel door as you throw your head over your shoulder, your gaze lingering on the floor.

“I never run from things.”

And you’d be damned if the one time you were forced to leave would be the cement of your legacy.

The hinges creak, your figure disappears behind the door.

You sigh, clenching and unclenching your fists at your sides, you walk down the foreign hallway with nothing but the fluorescent lights above you guiding your path. Your head stays drooped, not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone else who might pass you by. Just as you stuff your hands into your pockets, another figure emerges from the corner in front of you, their shadow gradually approaching your way as you keep your head low.

Too low, in fact, because you accidentally bump your shoulder into theirs; your eyes lift up, but when you’re met with a glimpse of their mask, you quickly dip your head back down; with a mumble of an apology, you pick up your pace and practically jog away from the scene.

It took you extra minutes when you made your way to your room—the hallways have totally changed, and it was the uncanny valley of ‘I’ve been here, but where is this?’ feeling that settles at the pool of your stomach and rests at the back of your head–-nearly bumping into walls several times before reaching your dorm.

The keys jingle in your palm; out of nowhere, the hair on the back of your neck stands to alert.

Someone is watching you.

But as you turn to survey your surroundings, you couldn’t spot a shadow that would confirm your suspicion. Groaning, your fingers twirl around the metal before settling on the one with a number 309 written on it; with the sound of a click, you enter your room.

It might’ve just been the fear that always followed you—the curse of being incredibly alert and anxious even during times when you were safe. You shake off the uneasy feeling.

The room was standard; a sink with cabinets sat to your right, and down the narrow entry to your bed is the door to the on-suite bathroom to your left. You’re grateful Kate didn’t assign you to a dorm that shares a communal bathroom—you’d make do without the kitchen, but having to share a shower with another stranger would tip you over the edge.

Everything is fast-paced after the quick tour; immediately taking off your shoes and locking your door, you beelined for the bed. The nook of your chin hits the heavenly soft mattress that molds around your body, like how laying on thousands of marshmallows would feel—you exhale into the bedding, feeling tears prickle at the edge of your eye.

When was the last time you had a proper night’s sleep in a comfortable bed?

You could barely remember anymore.

And as the exhaustion creeps up on you; the warm, familiar memory of you and your teammates sitting around a kitchen bar and having the time of your life crawls into your headspace.

Sleep finds you easy, and for the first time in forever, you sleep soundly.

#simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost cod #cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #angst #kate laswell #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick #cod fanfic #ghost fanfiction

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angelasscribbles · 3 years

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Cordonian Karaoke: Drake Take 2

Cordonian Karaoke: These are little, short drabbles, meant to be funny, not taken seriously. Don’t expect them to make cohesive sense, some assume MC (Riley in my world) ended up with Drake, some with Liam. It all just depends on the random scene that pops into my head when I hear a song.

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Characters: Drake Walker, Liam Rys, Riley Campbell

Disclaimer: Characters represented here as well as the original story are owned by pixelberry. This content has been written by Angela Harrison based on those characters/stories.

Tags: @texaskitten30 @tessa-liam @karahalloway @gkittylove99

@nestledonthaveone @kachrisberry @fangirling12566

@belencha77 @lovingchoices14 @twinkle-320 @walkerdrakewalker

Its karaoke night in Cordonia, everyone is drunk. Riley is trying to convince Drake to give it a try.

Riley: “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Drake: “No, seriously, I do not do karaoke.”

Riley: Pouts prettily and says, “Please? For me?”

Drake: Sighs. “God damn it. Fine.”

He makes his way to the stage and stands there for a moment before remembering what he’s supposed to be doing. He flips through the book, selects a song then starts singing Despair by Leo. He tries to act normal and look cool, but his eyes keep finding their way back to Riley while he sings.

Liam: “Wow, that’s…that’s not like Drake, wonder what that was about?”

Maxwell: “Are you kidding? That was definitely a Drake song!”

Hana: “Maxwell!”

Maxwell: “In fact, that may be the Drakeiest Drake song ever!”

Hana: “Maxwell!!”

Liam: “No….”

Maxwell: “Seriously? That’s exactly how he acts around-“

Hana: Slaps him in the back of the head hard. “MAXWELL! Not helping!”

Maxwell: Rubs the back of his head and looks at Hana, “Why-?”

Hana: Widens her eyes and gives him a look.

Maxwell: Looks confused for a moment, then understanding dawns. He looks at Liam, then Riley, then back to Liam, “Oh, yeah, I mean, no…. denying and hiding your feelings and lying about them to yourself? That’s not like Drake at all!”

Liam:…..

Riley: “Liam, can I distract you with some cleavage?”

Liam: Gets distracted.

Drake: Also gets distracted.

Hana: Sighs and shakes her head. “This is why I don’t date men….”

#drake walker #drake x mc #liam x mc #liam rys #angelasscribbles #the royal romance fanfic #the royal romance #trr #choices #choices stories you play #cordonian karaoke #karaoke #riley campbell #love triangle #cordonia #cfwc fics of the week #fics of the week

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theadusa · 4 years

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All the dramas I’ve watched in 2020

These are all the dramas that I watched in 2020, with some review there should be NO Spoilers. I think I watched a lot more than usual probably because what else am I supposed to do between school and quarantine. So this is gonna be a long one...

Crash Landing on You (Lee Jung-hyo, 2019-2020)

Main Leads: Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin

Episodes: 16, 70 to 110 Minutes

Thoughts: I enjoyed this drama, and it was a good one to start 2020 with. I thought it was a perfect blend of romance, comedy, heartfelt, found family, action, and some tragedy. I would highly recommend it, especially for those who are new to Kdramas. Also fun fact this is my first Hyun Bin drama. Rating: Fun and adorable

Tale of Nokdu (Kim Dong-hwi, 2019)

Main Leads: Jang Dong Yoon and Kim So Hyun

Episodes: 32, 35 minutes

Thoughts: I actually started watching this when it was airing but I stopped around episode 13 because of my busy schedule and finished it in the new year. I adore the main couple, the romance, comedy, the found family, and the women center story. I thought it shined the brightest when it was focused on the group and its funny and warm moments but once it got too political it kinda fell flat. I loved the ending, however. Also, I really like Jang Dong Young as an actor, I saw him in Solomon’s Perjury (2016) and Mr. Sunshine (2018) and I loved how he played Nok Du too. Rating: I love a women’s only widow village

I’ll Find You When The Weather is Nice (Han Ji-seung, 2020)

Main Leads: Seo Kang Joon and Park Min Young

Episodes: 16, 60 minutes

Thoughts: I really liked this drama, probably one of my favorites this year. As you will notice I enjoy quieter and more slow-burn stories. Also, I am a fan of Park Min Young she tends to pick more interesting and strong-willed female roles, so it is really enjoyable to watch. Rating: makes me want to own a book store.

King: The Eternal Monarch (Kim Eun-sook, 2020)

Main Leads: Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun

Episodes: 16, 70 Minutes

Thoughts: Confession; I am actually not the biggest fan of Lee Min Ho, nothing against him I just hate rich bratty characters and he tends to play them. However, I surprisingly really liked his character, he wasn’t a rich brat he actually was likable. I also really like Kim Go Eun, she is actually one of the main reasons why I watched and also with all the hype around it. Woo Do Hwan, who I have always liked, stole the whole show, however. I didn’t hate it like a lot of people, I really liked the characters, I liked the romance and the action. Also, Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun’s hugs were absolutely fabulous. It wasn’t my favorite and there were too many product placements, but I don’t think it was the worst drama this year. Rating: Lukewarm

A Piece of your mind (Lee Sang-yeob, 2020)

Main Leads: Jung Hae In and Chae Soo Bin

Episodes: 12, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I actually really liked this drama despite the low views, again I’m big on slow burn stories and character focus. I believe the episodes were cut from 16 to 12 I don’t know exactly why maybe because of the Pandemic or due to viewership or a mixture of both. Despite its being cut short I really liked the ending, and I thought the two leads were sweet. Rating: Wish we had more time to develop the characters.

Its Okay not to be Okay (Park Shin Woo, 2020)

Main Leads: Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Yea Ji and Oh Jung Se

Episodes: 16, 70 to 85 minutes

Thoughts: Out of all the dramas I talked the most about this one. I have always been a fan of Seo Yea Ji since Save Me (2017) and Lawless Lawyer (2018) and I am happy to see her getting more recognition because of this role. The entire cast was amazing and I think I cried every episode. Such a good and heart-wrenching drama which is why I chose to watch it before work every time. Rating: I would let Seo Yea Ji stab me with a knife anytime.

Mystic Pop up bar (Jeon Chang-geun, 2020)

Main Leads: Hwang Jung Eum and Yook Sung Jae and Choi Won Young

Episodes: 12, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I actually watched this while I was watching Its Okay Not to Be Okay and it was a nice balance to it because this was more of a found family story with less heartbreaking moments. Though it did have its share of heartbreak. I really liked all the characters and their relationship. Also, I am a sucker for bureaucratic fantasy/ magic, and kdramas are so good at it. Rating: I wish it was 16 episodes.

When the Camila Bloom (Cha Yeong Hoon, 2019)

Main Leads: Gong Hyo Jin and Kang Ha Neul

Episodes: 20, 63 to 75 minutes

Thoughts: I liked the story overall, the romance was cute and the mystery was interesting but I thought the family expectations was the best part of the story. This was not my favorite drama, but it was enjoyable and heartfelt. I watched it right after It's Okay Not to Be Okay and while I was watching Flower of Evil (2020) which probably is why I was so underwhelmed by it. Rating: Sweet romance and adorable found family.

Flower of Evil (Kim Cheol Kyu, 2020)

Main Leads: Lee Joon Gi and Moon Chae Won

Episode:16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: This was my favorite drama of this year. I went into this drama not thinking much of it, and I mainly watched it as a post drama blues drama. It was an action and thriller which I mainly don’t get attached to plus I am a huge fan of Lee Joon Gi. I should have known better, I cared so much about all the characters, the acting phenomenal, also every time they showed their hands I cried. This drama left me shriveled and empty inside. Rating: Lee Joon Gi will literally kill me one day.

Put Your Head On My Shoulders (Zhu Dongning, 2019)

Main Leads: Xing Fei and Lin Yi

Episodes: 24, 40 to 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is the first Chinese drama on this list. I thought it was cute, I liked the couple and thought it was alright. I started to dislike the male lead later in the series but it was overall fine. It was basic and sweet with very little drama. Rating: It did its job.

The School Nurse Files ( Lee Kyoung Mi, 2020)

Main Leads: Jung Yu Mi and Nam Joo Hyuk

Episodes: 6, 45 to 57 minutes

Thoughts: This is probably my second favorite drama. I couldn’t tell what happened in the drama but I loved it. I thought it was weird and fascinating, and just so magical. I loved the children and just how the whole school was just off its rocker. I also think that Nam Joo Hyuk does really well in serious roles, and I thought he did a really good job here. Rating: 1 jelly heart.

Mr. Heart (Park Sun Jae, 2020)

Main Leads: Cheon Seung Ho and Lee Se Jin

Episodes: 8, 11 Minutes

Thoughts: This was 8 episodes of start fluff and I adored it. Apparently, it is apart of a BL series by Park Sun Jae and there is a movie version that I haven’t watched. If you want to destress and watch just fluff this is the show for you. Rating: If it is any sweeter I would be going to the dentist.

You are My Destiny ( Ding Ying Zhou, 2020)

Main Leads: Xing Zhao Lin and Liang Jie

Episodes: 36, 45 minutes

Thoughts: I hated this drama, I thought it was the worst thing ever. I don’t know why I even watched all 36 episodes. Apparently, it is a remake of a popular 2008 Twaniese drama Fated to Love You and there is a Korean remake of it as well. I have watched neither of them, so I was brand new to this story. I hated, despised the male lead. He was whiny, entitled, and an asshole. The only good part of the drama was the male and female lead actually had a lot of chemistry, unfortunately, they are playing awful characters. Rating: This was made in 2020???

First Romance (Ding Pei, 2020)

Main Leads: Wan Peng and Riley Wang

Episodes: 24, 45 Minutes

Thoughts: This is another Chinese drama. Similar to Mr. Heart (2020) this show was super fluffy. I really liked the main couple they seem to respect each other and they both had adorable crushes on each other. I loved the whole dumb jock and dumb artist dynamic it was so funny. Rating: Cute!!!

Lost Romance ( Eri Hao, 2020)

Main Leads: Marcus Chang and Vivian Sung

Episodes: 20, 70 minutes

Thoughts: This is the only Twainese drama on this list. I think I liked this drama, I actually only remember very little of this drama. I like the CEO in the real world more than the book world, and I also really liked the female lead except she lowkey stalked the CEO like that was not okay. Rating: I think I liked it???

When We Were Young ( Deng Ke, Liu Guo Hui, 2018)

Main Leads: Neo Hou and Wan Peng and Gala Zhang and Pan Mei and Ye Marcus Li

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: I really liked this film, I loved all the characters and thought it was all very heartfelt. I cried like a baby, and Hua Biao was such a touching and relatable character. And the whole grandma story hit so close to home. Rating: Made me cry like a baby.

Moment of 18 ( Sim Na Yeon, 2019)

Main Leads: Ong Seong Wu and Kim Hyang Gi

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I really liked this drama, and I thought the romance was so cute. I also really liked the relationship between the moms and was sad that the rich mom was a bitch and ruined the friendship. I also wasn’t a big fan of the ending, but I loved the rest of it. Rating: The main lead is part of a boy group because he had a random singing moment.

Perfect and Casual ( Li Shuang, 2020)

Main Leads: Miles Wei and Xu Ruo Han

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is another Chinese drama on this list. I’m pretty sure it's considered an Idol drama so that sets your expectations. I really liked this drama a lot, I am a big fan of contract marriages and I thought the leads were so cute together. Also, this is the first contract marriage drama where the leads don’t break up which I like. A lot of the drama came from outside of the relationship. Rating: You can’t analyze love.

Le Coup De Foudre ( Wang Zhi, 2019)

Main Leads: Janice Wu and Zhang Yujian

Episodes: 35, 45 minutes

Thoughts: My favorite Chinese drama on this list. I loved this drama, I thought it was sweet and simple and the main couple was so realistic. Unpopular opinion I disliked the second couple and the best friend I thought she was annoying and brattish. However, I adore the main couple and their relationship. Rating: Realistic sweet romance.

More Than Friends ( Choi Sung Bum, 2020)

Main Leads: Ong Seong Wu and Shin Ye Eun

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: I enjoyed the overall story and characters. I loved the group and their relationships. Also, Young-Hee made me cry, and her relationship with Hyun Jae was so sweet. The main leads were also sweet, and I related a lot to Lee So. I just didn’t like the back and forth. Rating: How many times can we break up in a drama.

Be With You ( Zhou Miao, 2020)

Main Leads: Ji Xiao Bing and Zhang Ya-Qin

Episodes: 24, 45 minutes

Thoughts: This is the last Chinese drama I watched this year. It was alright, the romance was sweet, I really like the female lead, and the male lead was nice to look at. It was okay. Also, the second couple was so ??? She was his boss, enemy, and older than him, what?? Rating: Sometimes you need to fall in love to be creative.

Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo ( Kim Kyu Tae, 2016)

Main Leads: Lee Joon Gi and Lee Ji Eun (IU)

Episodes: 20, 60 minutes

Thoughts: I know I am really late watching this, but I finally did. I went in knowing this would hurt me and Lee Joon Gi already scared me this year ( damn this man) so I was fully prepared. I really wasn’t, it so much. (SPOIlERS) When Wang Eun and Park Soon Deok died I sob like a baby (SPOILER ENDING). It took me a long time to finish this show because its heart so much, like it physically hurt me. The show was really good, and heartbreaking, and the ending stabs me in the heart 20 times. Rating: Lee Joon Gi is trying to kill me with tears.

Persona ( Lee Kyoung Mi, Yim Pil Sung, Jeon Go Woon, and Kim Jong Kwan, 2019)

Main Leads: Lee Ji Eun (IU)

Episodes: 4, 19 to 27

Thoughts: This is a collection of mini-films by directors. 4 separate stories are starring Lee Ji Eun. I thought all of them good, especially “ Kiss Burn” and “Walking at Night.” There isn’t much else to this, more than it is an artistic display of filmmaking. Rating: Hipster Kdrama

Come and Hug Me ( Choi Joon-bae, 2018)

Main Leads: Jang Ki-Yong and Jin Ki-Joo

Episodes: 32, 35 minutes

Thoughts: I actually just finished this show today. I really liked it, I thought it was both sweet and heartwarming/wrenching. I hated that one journalist and the public like why are they blaming a victim. I didn’t watch it with my full mind because I’ve been distracted lately, but I did enjoy it. Rating: another cute but sad couple.

Movies I watched this year:

Spell Bound ( Hwang In Ho, 2011)

Main Cast: Son Ye Jin and Lee Min Ki

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Thoughts: I watched this at like 12 am after a bad day and it was cute. I love RomCom fantasy, which I think Korean media does really well. I don’t know what else to say except it is a really cute romance. Rating: Is it the ghost or the butterflies

The Host ( Bong Joon Ho, 2006)

Main Cast: Song Kang Ho and Byun Hee Bong and Park Hae Il and Bae Doona and Go, Ah Sung

Running Time: 119

Thoughts: This film I had to actually watch for class. It was a really good film which is expected from Bong Joon Ho. I love monster films and I thought this was a good rendition of this film. Also, The monster was so cool especially from 2006. I thought it was heartbreaking, stirring, and so beautifully shot. Rating: Oscar-worthy Direction

Little Forest ( Yim Soon-rye, 2018)

Main Cast: Kim Tae Ri and Ryu Jun Yeol and Moon So Ri and Jin Ki Joo

Running Time: 103 minutes

Thoughts: I really, really liked this film. It reminded me so much of I’ll Find You When The Weather is Nice (2020) that I thought that it was based on this film but it isn’t. I have watched this film 3 times since October and every time I watch it have made bread. I really just love everything about this film, how quiet it is, the cinematography, the acting, just everything. Rating: Three loaves of bread.

Always ( Song Il Gon, 2011)

Main Cast: So Ji Sub and Han Hyo Joo

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Thoughts: I thought it was okay, I watched it while I was knitting so I was distracted a bit. But I thought the couple was sweet, and the characters were interesting. Rating: It's Okay.

Currently watching

True Beauty ( Kim Sang-hyeop, 2020-)

Main Cast: Moon Ga Young and Cha Eun Woo and Hwang In Yeop

Episodes: 16, 70 minutes

Thoughts: This is currently an ongoing series that is actually really popular. Apparently, it is based on a webtoon, which I haven’t read. I like it so far, I always liked Moon Ga Young and I think she is a great actress. She plays Im Ju Kyung in a likable and insecure way, instead of someone annoying which could easily happen. I will be continuing watching. Rating so far: Okey dokey yo.

Live On ( Kim Sang-woo, 2020-)

Main Cast: Jung Da Bin and Hwang Min Hyun

Episodes: 8?, 60 Minutes

Thoughts: I really Like this show. The main couple is sweet and supportive. I really like the female lead, I like that she is cold and kinda quiet, but with a sweet spot if you are not a dick. I really like the main relationship conflict comes from friendship instead of romance, I think it makes the show more interesting. Rating: I want to Join a Broadcast group.

On My List:

I actually don’t have anything else on my list so if anyone has recommendations please tell me. I am thinking about watching Mr. Queen ( 2020) because I really like Shin Hye Sun. I also want to watch Sweet Home (2020) the Netflix series. But please recommend me some dramas!!!

This is such a long list, and I had fun doing it and going back over all the dramas. I hope everyone has a good New year and that we will have many more good dramas in 2021!

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valeriethepussycats · 4 years

Text

Bad Day

Pairing- Dean x Black Reader, Sam x Reader( Best friends)

A/n- this takes place in season two this may or may not follow the storyline but these are little moments.

Sam looks down at the mangled car with mixed emotions.

“Oh man, Dean is gonna be pissed.” Sam proclaimed.

“Look, Sam. This... this just ain't worth a tow. I say we empty the trunk, sell the rest for scrap.” Bobby stated.

“No. Dean would kill me if we did that. When he gets better he's gonna want to fix this.” Sam explained.

“There's nothing to fix. The frame's a pretzel, and the engine's ruined. There's barely any parts worth salvaging.” Bobby stressed.

“Listen to me, Bobby. If there's only one working part, that's enough. We're not just going to give up on...”

“Okay.” Bobby said quietly. “You got it. There’s this person I know who can give me some parts. I’ll call her.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam said sincerely as he walks away.

Bobby pulls out his phone to call an “old” friend.

“Hey Y/n, it’s me Bobby.”

“Hey what’s up.”

“Nothing much...say do you have any parts for a 1967 Chevrolet Impala?” Bobby asked.

“Ummmm I think so I will have to check inventory and get back with you. Taking on a another project?” Y/n questioned as she get from up under a car.

“Nah. Its for a friend of mine.” Bobby answered.

“Ok. I’ll check.” Y/n replied

“Thanks Y/n.”

“No prob Bob.” Y/n said hanging up the phone and rolling back of one of the car.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

It’s been one week since John died and all Dean wanted to do is fix on baby. Bobby had got him some parts a couple of days ago and ever since then he’s been working on her day ‘n’ night. So when Sam walked out outside to his surprised Dean was underneath his car working on it, only his legs sticking out. It is little more than a rusted frame, but it looks considerably less crunched than last time.

“How's the car coming along?” Sam asked as he walks up to Dean.

“Slow.” Dean replied duly.

“Yeah? Need any help?” Sam wondered.

Dean drops something heavily. “What, you under a hood? I'll pass.”

“Need anything else, then?”

Dean pushes himself out from under the car and stands up. “Stop it, Sam.”

“Stop what?” Sam questioned.

“Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay. Really. I promise. “ Dean snapped.

“All right, Dean, it's just... We've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once. “ Sam pointed out.

“You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance. “ Dean said sarcastically.

“Don’t patronize me, Dean, Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you're acting like nothing happened.” Sam declared.

“What do you want me to say?” Dean lilted.

“Say something, all right? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day and all night long buried underneath this damn car. “ Sam shouted.

“Revenge, huh?” Dean wondered.

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But you know, if we do finally find it - oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car.”

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

“You wanna try to find the colt?” Bobby asked.

“I need to do something. I just can’t just sit here and do nothing anymore.” Sam Expressed.

“Ok.” Bobby said as he walk out the kitchen.

“Ok?” Sam repeated.

“Ok as in ok I’ll help

“You can help? Why didn’t you say sooner?”

“You boys need to grieve....but there is a person who could help.” Bobby stated.

“Really?”

“Ya. There’s a body shop on the other side of town called Carter’s ask for Y/n.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam said as he walks out the house to Dean who is still under his car. “Bobby gave us another hunter in town. Someone who knows about finding the colt.”

“Then let’s go.” Dean said as he come up from up under his car. “You think it’s ok if we borrow one of Bobby’s cars.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem.” Sam said as he walks up to a yellow bug.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

At Carter’s body shop,Y/n is walking downstairs with her headphones around her neck and greasy overalls and her least favorite shirt on it was a regular day except the sun was shining more so then ever. When she finally made it to the garage she see Jimmy on the phone.

“Do we have an customer?” Y/n asked as she sat down across from him.

“No, it grandma Melanie she was wondering if she could bring us one of her apple turnovers.” Jimmy replied.

“Yes I love love one grandma.” Y/n proclaimed. “Do we got anyone coming in today?”

Jimmy holds the phone with his shoulder then picks up the clipboard and looks through the pages. “No appointments today.”

“Ok you can have the day off but I still want my apple turnover.” Y/n declared.

“Ok thanks Riley.” Jimmy said with a smile.

Riley nods her head then side her headphones on then walks over to her car to starts changing the oil.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Dean is driving down the street in a beat up Volkswagen bug. Oh how he miss baby. Every time he would stop at a stop sign the car would shut down. Let’s just say it not been the best day ever. He just hope the get some information.

“What do you know about this Riley person?” Dean asked as Sam.

“Not much that there good with maps.” Sam told Dean. “There right there Carter’s.”

Dean pulls into the body shop and before he can turn the car off it’s stops on its own.

“Really!?” Dean exclaimed.

Sam laughs at Dean and his struggle with the car. Dean gets out the car.

“Are you going to fight with a car?” Sam questioned as he gets out the car and starts on walk up to the entrance of the body shop. Dean walks over towards the garage when he sees a certain type of car.

“Sam! Sam! Come over here it’s an ss it’s blue and shine.” Dean said with a goofy grin on his face.

Dean walks over to the driver side and gets in the car and stars to feel around the car.

“Dean get out you don’t know who’s car that is.” Sam stressed.

“Sam I’ve only been in one ss and it was Bobby’s and you seen how beat up his is....this one has been taken care of- “ Dean started.

“And it’s on a jack.” Sam stated.

“What!?!”

Sam looks around the front of the car. “Someone is under the car Dean!!” Sam yelled.

Just as soon as Y/n is coming out of under her car the jack brakes and the car drops to the ground.

“What the hell!!?!” Y/n shouted.

Y/n gets up and see Sam standing next to passenger side of her car and Dean in the Driver’s seat he get out the car

“Sorry.” Dean whispered but Y/n heard him loud and clear.

“You almost killed me and you think a ‘sorry’ is good enough.” Y/n barked.

Dean- to be fair I didn’t know anyone was under there

Y/n clenched her jaw. “Oh you son of a bitch.”

Y/n is about to give Dean a piece of her mind when Sam steps in front of her. “I’m sorry my brother loves car and he saw this one and couldn’t control himself. I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean.”

“We’re here looking for someone you might know.” Dean commented.”

“I’m not talking to you I’m taking to him.” Y/n snapped giving Dean a sideways glare.

“Do you know where Y/n is?” Sam asked trying to Break the tension.

“Well if it wasn’t for her good instincts she would have been flatted I’m Y/n.”

“We was send by Bobby. We was wondering if you could help us with something?” Sam asked.”

“Sure.” Y/n answered with a smile at Sam then she turns and looks at Dean and it quickly her face drops to hatred. “Get in my car again I’ll brake both your hands.” Y/n said with a wicked smile at Dean. “What can I help youwith?”

“So you’re not going to acknowledge me I said sorry.” Dean remarked.

“You almost killed me with my car hell no I’m not going to acknowledge you.” Y/n replied angry.”

“I was told you’re one to get help on this.” Sam said as he hands Y/n a drawing

“Your trying to fine colt or build one at least.” Y/n observed as she looked at the drawing.

“Wait..you can build a colt. I thought it was a special gun?” Dean wondered.

“Sam I have maps and other stuff in my apartment upstairs about the colt if you need them I can show you them.” Y/n explained.

“um yes thank you.” Sam said grateful.

“Well come on upstairs let’s get out of the cold.” Y/n remarked.

Sam follows Riley upstairs and as Dean try to follow he gets the door closed in his face. “Hey I’m still out here!” Dean emitted.

“Really I didn’t notice.” Y/n said sarcastically.

“Look I’m sorry for almost killing you with your car.....I honestly didn’t know you were under there.” Dean said truthfully.

Y/n looks at Dean with a lopsided grimace. “You look sincere....fine you can come in.”

Dean walks inside the shop and they all walk upstairs to Riley’s apartments.

“Make yourself at home Sam I’ll go get everything I have on the colt.” Y/n said as she walks off.

Dean looks around Riley’s apartment and see all the albums classic rock,Rnb,pop,soul,rap and even some Beethoven and Morzt.

“And I thought I liked music.” Dean mumbled under his breath.

“It’s kind of cool.” Sam stated.

“You really like your music uh....is that AC/DC.” Dean shouted to Y/n.

“Oh so he is more then just a petty face.” Y/n shouted from the other room.

“You think I’m petty?” Dean wondered.

“Ya petty....ugly.” Y/n laughed.

“Ha ha ha laugh all you want that joke wasn’t even that funny.” Dean said as he sides the AC/DC cassette tape in his pocket.

“Your just saying that because your the but end of the joke.” Sam grinned.

Riley laughs and walks back over to Sam and place a suitcase on the table in front of him.“I was doing research on the colt and found this in my granddaddy’s storage. I guess he was looking for it or he was going to build one.”

“You can really build a colt?” Dean asked again hoping to get a answer this time.

“Ya you just need the right equipment but the bullets got to be made out of a Phoenix or it’ll be just a regular gun.” Y/n told Dean.

“Phoenix? Like the bird.” Dean asked.

“No the monster...there’s like only three left in America. I can get you more information on it if you like and if I run into any dead end I know a guy.” Y/n explained.

“Yes that would be great thank you...um how will we contact you?” Sam wondered.

Y/n writes down her number on a scrap piece of paper then hands it to Sam. If you can’t reach me I’ll just go though Bobby that’s who sent you over here right.” Y/n specified.

“Ya.”

“Great I see Bobby every other day so I might catch ya and if I don’t I’ll just leave with him.” Y/n told Sam and Dean.

Tbc

Ps. I’m gonna title all my supernatural stories with name of the song (for the ones that has ‘TBC’ their names will be titled after songs I like from that year and The Random fics will be Random songs).

#dean x black reader #dean winchester x black! reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x black!reader

25 notes · View notes

numbaoneflaya · 3 years

Note

Can I get 11, 14, 33, 41, 71 for Riley, 13, 29, 35, 39, 93 for Thurwen, and 21, 25, 27, 36, and 78 for Ciggy 😁

YESS here we go beloved <3

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

He'd like to be remembered as a great mage and someone who was both badass and made many breakthroughs in magic and in breaking rules! Kind of like a rogue magician who escaped the law and was super sexy and cool. He's already thinking of cool titles he should have.

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it?

He likes ash yam sweet potatoes and brown rice with kwama eggs! Its a really simple dish his parents used to make on special occasions when they were able to afford shipments from morrowind. He doesnt get to eat if often because he doesnt have the recipe but Espira does and makes it for him

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

Hes terrified of becoming one of the undead like a zombie or necromanced corpse. Pretty hypocritical since he does fucking necromancy but he ignores it. Also in ending up in a place like the soul cairn or shitty afterlife.

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh?

He laughs often! He has two laughs, one is the kind of fake mocking anime girl haughty laugh when hes being a dick. The other is a genuine one thats a deep chortle and kind of dissolves into wheezing fits if he thinks somethings funny enough.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

Hes good with kids! In his own way. Hes kind of like the weird vodka aunt only a man. Definitely the type to teach kids swear words and let them try to smoke a cigarette for fun. Doesnt really know how to act around them and will probably get in an argument with one for calling him a doodoohead and hed call them a buttfart back

Thurwen!

13. What do they do for fun?

Shes that mf who genuinely thinks working out is fun :/ She also likes reading and training in the yard and visiting bars, getting in fist fights and annoying nobility.

29. How would they describe their own personality?

Badass, intimidating, cool, takes no nonsense and strong. Shed also say shes six feet tall so take her own word with a grain of salt. She really wants to be more serious than she actually is

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them?

Be a hypocrite, be a templar or a noble, talk too much about Andraste and religion, be selfish and self serving, call her short, Disrespect the wardens, etc. Shes kind of easily annoyed especially when shes in a bad mood.

39. What does their happily ever after look like?

The wardens are at full power, Alistair is on the throne, the cure to the taint has been found and Solas is dead, the darkspawn have been defeated and the world is at peace and the mages free while the Elves have respect and full rights. If the whole world isnt fixed its unlikely shell ever consider herself happy.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

“Say one more thing about mages and ill shove my sword so far up your saggy ass you'll be picking steel out of your teeth for months” “Like dogs, Shianni. Like dogs.” "Hey I heard your making a killing. Me too!" “Evil doesn't worry about not being good.”

Ciggy!

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality?

He thinks hes hilarious. Just thinks hes the funniest mf in the universe and he keeps himself so entertained. He also enjoys being the life of the party and likes entertaining other people.

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Absolute hedonist with no real ability to do things he doesn't want to do or stop himself from doing things he wants to do. Also pretty annoying and can be very grating on others in his constant needling for attention and action. Does not think of the future at all

27. What is their biggest strength?

He always bounces back and thinks very positively. Bad things happen to him all the time but he just kind of shrugs, does some coke and ignores it. Even when he gets killed and becomes a ghost he tries to make the best of the situation and never laments or bemoans his fate, except unless hes looking for attention and pity.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous.

Can and will laugh at anything. Finds everything from deep fried memes funny to dead baby jokes and can be wildly insensitive at times, doesn't know when its inappropriate to laugh and doesn't really care. Laughing feels good! He hates being serious or thinking too hard about serious topics so hell just make jokes about it and laugh!

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

His friend Bud he knew since they were little! Both are in the punk scene but Buddy is more shy and reserved than Ciggy so hes always dragging him around. Ciggy has bright red hair and Bud has bright blue so people call them crest like the toothpaste.

#my ocs #ciggy #riley #thurwen #thank u beloved the three of them. im just imagining what they would be liek hanging out #Ciggy and Riley would be friends and thurwen would like them but also be so annoyed by them constantly and beat they asses

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buckevantommy · 4 years

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'(Un)Happiest Season' review

Simply put, it wasn't enjoyable as a romance or a comedy or a Christmas flick. It failed on many fronts, but this reviewer from Salon.com puts the thing into words for Happiest Season's main failings:

What's bad: There were two main criticisms of "Happiest Season." The first being: Can't LGBTQ audiences have a holiday movie where the main plot isn't about mining the anxiety and trauma associated with coming out, being closeted and casual homophobia? Then there's the fact that Harper really is just kind of the worst. After pushing Abby back in the closet, Harper ditches her in a town where she doesn't know anyone to go drink with her ex-boyfriend until two in the morning, then proceeds to call Abby "suffocating" when called on it. It's a pattern of s**ty behavior that is pervasive and present throughout the movie, so her redemption arc doesn't feel super genuine.

Why can't we have main queer characters in Christmas movies without their presence being all about their queerness? We want fluffy festiveness, dammit! They could've made Harper less selfish and more attentive while still playing into the *I'm not out yet Because Reasons so we need to hide our gay relationship* trope, but they didn't. Who knows why, but what a waste. 🎄👩‍❤️‍👩☃️

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^ Look at that trailer and tell me you don't expect Misunderstandings with fun and tropey antics + Domestic Christmas Shenanigans + Comfort for Hurt! You will be sorely disappointed. 😞

NOTE: The flick does have a few good moments. And it's probably worth the watch just to see what's missing/mishandled when it comes to queer characters and queer romances in mainstream movies.

But it's not really fun or funny or heart-warming - where are the snowball fights? Insightful conversations? Christmas elements like eggnog/spiced wine, candycanes, mistletoe? Where are the many colourful side characters and the hungover brunches? We get one scene of ice-skating for a few minutes and it's wasted on sibling rivalry bs rather than, say.. Abby and Harper skating together but not being aloud to touch—omg the tension!! 😍

There's just not enough comfort for the hurt Abby (Kstew) goes through; the film wholly lacks those warm-n-fuzzy Christmas vibes; there's just way more wrong with it than is right with it - which sucks, because this had the potential to be such a great movie if only Harper was written as less ignorant/selfish and we'd gotten more enjoyable family interactions and more festive fun - like a celebration in town. Instead we get a few limited shots of the adorable town, a crappy bar, and an OTT fancy Christmas party for performative rich white folk on a career path for power and "perfection" (ie. wholesome family values).

The story they went with was definitely better suited for a dramatic film, so in a romcom setting it really didn't work. Plus the side-characters were flat; we needed more depth from the supporting characters, more meaningful interactions.

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^ Look at those intro credits!! Look at all the domestic happy moments and tell me you don't want to see a movie filled with such fluffy festive goodness!! Well, if you don't want to see such moments, don't worry because you won't. I naturally thought we were going to get this kind of romantic-and-non-romantic happiness dispersed throughout the entire film, but no. Not a one. There's 5 minutes of Happy Couple at the start, and that's it 📸☹️ (unless you count a photo collage of the happy ending and year that follows stuffed into the end credits).

BTW: That intro song is the most Christmasy song in the whole movie. The soundtrack features modern pop songs which 1) don't help set the festive vibe and 2) are really fucking annoying; the song choices are grating, not pleasant, not enjoyable, and they overpower the scenes with a whole lotta noise. I really wish we'd gotten more tunes like the one above. 🎶

About the image below—Abby is actually miserable the entire time, getting worse by the day, barely a smile seen on her.. while Harper is the one schmoozing her family and contacts with teeth bared, so.. this image isn't what you'll get, just fyi:

(also: the only POC actors they had were the perfectionist-stone-faced-bitch's husband and his girlfriend - wife + hubby being secretly separated.)

The things that the Salon reviewer liked are the same things I did (see below), but imho even those elements weren't enough to save this film from being:

an infuriating 102 minute-comedy of errors buoyed by a healthy dose of gaslighting

More cons of the flick are pointed out by denofgeek.com:

Some of its issues come from the structure of the film, which shoehorns very real queer struggles into wacky rom-com tropes too fluffy to contain the stakes at hand. Meanwhile the choice to have one half of the lead couple be so aggressively and repeatedly cruel—while her high school ex Riley, played by the ever-perfect Aubrey Plaza was standing right there having all the chemistry in the world with the other romantic lead—was a fatal one.

It really was a dramatic plot idea crammed into a fluffy narrative. You can see the conflicting genres fighting to stay alive and they both die a slow, agonisingly dull death throughout the film. The whole *Abby being converted to loving Christmas by Harper inviting her to spend the holidays with her family* thing, only to have Harper force their relationship + Abby into the closet. Straight conversion much? I'm 100% sick of heteronormative bs in my queer Christmas films.

For the most part, when you're not feeling for Abby's harsh treatment by her would-be fiance and everyone but Riley ignoring her completely, you will be bored af from the lack of festive cheer - not just twinkle lights and boisterous seasonal music, but those good ol' homey family Christmas vibes. With the Harper house + family members, everything's a performance, so that lack of sincerity and warmth makes for a depressing viewing experience:

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^ Jane (one of Harper's 2 sisters) is the only character allowed to be consistently genuine in the narrative (aside from John, but he's restricted mostly to phonecalls, and Riley - but even she's keeping Harper's secrets). Jane is the only character who is naturally vibrant and reminds us of some of the reasons we get excited about Christmas movies: to feel joy and to enjoy the company around us during the holiday season! 🎄☃️🥳 But rather than give us a fun day out with Jane + Abby, we get Abby + the second sister (i don't even remember her name, just BitchFace) which leads to more bad treatment of Abby - this time by two spoiled af no-smile rich kids. *le sigh* Jane carries the spark of honest joy for the entire Harper clan and that is TOO MUCH to expect of one character, let alone a side-character. 😪

There are so many ways the story could've been tweaked to make more sense and be somewhat enjoyable, including:

The orphan!Abby thing is just bad. Rather than give Abby a voice, chances to let her personality shine, almost everyone interacts with her to merely briefly express their condolences for her long-dead parents 🙄

Abby is a pet-minder, ie. she's an animal lover, yet at no point do we see her interact with animals! Not a dog or cat or hamster, no reindeer at the petting zoo, nothing. 🐕🐈🦎🦜🐠

Riley + Abby getting together (even just a kiss) 👄

Abby + Harper separating so Harper can get her shit together - and then we get several flashforward shots of them separately living their lives (Harper especially), and then meeting back up again - maybe the next holiday season, after some much-needed time apart 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️

side characters who engage with Abby in a sincere, meaningful way instead of ignoring her (again, we got Riley, but she was outside of the family dynamic) 😊

MORE FESTIVE CHEER! where were all the staple Christmassy passtimes, the smile-inducing season-specific experiences??? 🎉

More from denofgeek:

Where the script gets into trouble is that it doesn’t distinguish between Harper being closeted and her poor treatment of Abby. The two are separate issues and treating them as one does no favors to Harper, nor others struggling with the closet. As Dan Levy’s beautiful monologue late in the movie alludes to, the closet is a safety mechanism—but it’s not a free pass to treat people like garbage. [...] 😟🏳️‍🌈

Even a brief conversation teasing out that being in the closet doesn’t justify how Harper acted, and that plenty of people in the closet don’t treat others like trash, would have been important. Instead once Harper is out (which the movie takes pains to make clear only happened because Harper’s sister Sloane outed her), and a gesture so small it could never credibly be called grand is made, all bad behavior is washed away. [...] 😤🙅‍♀️

The jarring underlying issue is that 'Happiest Season' attempts to apply the standard rom-com and made-for-TV-holiday-movie tropes to queer life. So Abby having to go back into the closet isn’t framed as a painful regression or being forced to deny an essential part of herself, but rather a fun twist, in the vein of “but the guy she insulted on the plane is the owner of the ornament factory she has to impress to win the Christmas contest!”🚪😒

All of Harper’s behavior adds up to making her feel like something the audience wants Abby to be free of, not someone Abby should be fighting for. Once Riley tells Abby about Harper’s cruelty in high school, where Harper outed Riley and mocked her rather than standing up for her or finding an excuse that protected them both, it becomes incredibly difficult to root for the lead couple to get back together, or for Harper at all. 👏💃

With this information, Harper’s other transgressions go from frustrating to part of a larger pattern. Sadly, it’s a pattern Harper repeats when her sister outs her and she throws Abby under the (lesbian) bus. 🤬

FAVE THINGS:

all interactions between John (Dan Levy) + Abby (he's witty, honest, and 100% the most entertaining element of the entire film; i wish we'd gotten more of him) 😆

Riley (Aubrey Plaza, Harper's ex) + Abby's scenes together because CHEMISTRY, both between the characters and the actors 👩‍❤️‍👩

Notable between Abby + Riley scenes include 3 instances of Riley comforting Abby's hurt: outside at the fancy party (Abby feeling excluded/ignored/not worth anyone's time due to the way they treat her even though they don't know she's gay), at a gay bar in town (sandwiched by scenes where Abby's made to feel like crap by Harper), and at the fancy home Christmas party where Riley gets Abby something stronger to drink after hearing Abby was going to propose to Harper (but it's been a helluva shitty week and those plans are dead) 👭

Every scene with Riley was blessed relief from the hurt and discomfort and boredom of the rest of the time with Harper's family. 🤩

Sister Jane, for being a genuinely fun character 🤗 who was written starkly different to her family and treated somewhat like an outcast

Aubrey + Kstew killin it in various pantsuits 👀

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In contrast, Riley connects Abby to queerness, bringing her to an LGBTQ bar to decompress and enjoy a Christmas-themed drag performance. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Abby is on screen since the opening scenes, a chance to glimpse Abby’s authentic self before Harper summons her back to heterosexuality, and where she once again ignores and disappoints her. Riley actually talks to Abby at the various holiday parties whereas Harper keeps leaving her to please her family, especially her father. It’s not hard for the natural chemistry between Plaza and Stewart to take over

I wouldn't watch this film again. For a hopeful Christmasy love story I'd just watch all Abby + Riley's scenes:

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In closing, here's a batshit article title from observer.com that just makes you go, huh? 🧐:

‘Happiest Season’ Isn’t Happy, But That Doesn’t Make It a Bad Rom-Com

Um.. yes, yes it does.

Rom-Coms are supposed to be fun, light-hearted stories about love even when the plot deals with lying - The Proposal, Sweet Home Alabama - so a movie that leaves you hurting more than comforted in sympathy with one of the main characters because the (apparent) love of their life is treating them like shit, then it doesn't deserve to be in the genre of Rom-Com. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞🎬

In summary, Abby and Harper got 5 minutes of happiness in the beginning, and an eventual happy ending after a super rocky middle. The journey was painful and unenjoyable, and it made their happy ending unbelievable and, for Harper, undeserved because of her behaviour through 90% of the story.

In short: it was not, in fact, the happiest season. 😕👎

#happiest season #review #unhappiest season #queer cinema #queer characters #christmas #lgbtqia #romcom #movies #watchnotes #we deserve better

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lockhvrts · 4 years

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Hey Em! How you feeling about tlou2? I'm still sobbing 😭

hi rilee :’) hope you're doing well❤️ i actually wanted to ask you too lmao and same this game wrecked me

..okay so i have many thoughts n things i want to say id actually just would link you a review that goes more into detail and is more cohesive than my messy essay so i’ll try my best and keep this short as possible tho and i apologize for my english lmfao :

SPOILERS FOR TLOU2 OBVIOUSLY

also if anyone disagrees with me and is about to send me an essay why i am a h*mophobic, tr*nsphobic and alt r*ght piece of trash bc i didnt praise the shit out of tlou2

i'm glad that you enjoyed the game so much that its a masterpiece and 10/10 in your eyes , i honestly respect your opinion (and i wanted to love this game too) but maybe rethink what you're about to do and let other people have different opinions without bashing them? it literally doesn't affect you in any way that i didn't enjoy it ( and no it wasn't enjoyable for me bc a character i like died)

postive:

the gameplay is fluid and responsive (there were some minor issues but its still great), definitely improved compared to the first game, id love to have a little bit of more enemy variety bc it got kind of tiring after the 20th encounter that basically felt the same as the ones before (tho i appreciate the stealth gameplay , sneaking around the map and taking out enemies while being prone like in mgsv was thrilling)

animation, graphics , level design, acting, sound design: ND succeeded in creating another jaw dropping immersive cinematic experience is all i have to say, this is one the best looking games i've ever played (i cant believe a 7 yr old machine can run this game)

music: i'm glad that gustavo santaolalla is back for the sequel! it wouldn't feel the same without him, his music adds so much to the experience

negative: the controversial part lmao

story, characters: I’ll be honest i prefer tlou1 + left behind story wise. i personally don't like the structure of it in the sequel, too many empty side characters, some character / plot decisions generally didn't make sense for me, the dialogue/writing felt out of place and kind of odd sometimes (compared to the scenes from the flashbacks with joel and ellie) and the last hours were dragged out for some reason i just wanted to be done as quickly as possible with it tbh

jesse was your typical nice guy™ who will definitely be killed off to move the plot forward. the only thing i remember is that he’s dinas ex boyfriend + father of jj dont get me wrong i like and didn't mind him but he has nothing interesting to add to the story. also funny how they literally did not mention him once after his death

owen and the other WLF members were just kinda there..? i don't have much else to say about them besides that they felt empty i tried to understand them and their stories but i didn't care for them in the end its prob my fault but henry, sam, bill and riley were more compelling to me

lev and yara were great i liked them both , its just that especially lev was just there to make abby seem more humane, i didn't like that ND tried to create a similar dynamic between them like in the first game with ellie and joel it didn't particularly make me like her more speaking of which:

abby shows barely to no remorse for the things she did. what she did show was that she enjoyed torturing joel, killing seraphites and almost knowingly murdering a pregnant women (dina) and now ND shoves us this forced narrative of her being a good person into our face like how she would've accepted to die for the cure, has friends and a dog that she treats well (which we as ellie were forced to kill to make her seem even more like a villain in contrast to abby) , takes care of yara and lev (granted out of guilt for joel maybe? but i'm not sure) also making her seem more humane bc she has a fear of height? but abby would kill anyone who is not on her good side this time without a problem as we’ve seen plenty while playing as her what i'm surprised about is that i weirdly didn't hate her or anything guess they succeeded in making me feel some pity for her in the end

yes i also had some issues with the way tommy, ellie and joel were portrayed but i think i'm gonna stop here and give you a

TLDR:

gameplay ,graphics, animation, acting etc: solid 9/10

story (structure, writing, dialogue,characters etc) : 4-5/10 seems harsh but i am comparing it to the first game, if this was a different ip maybe an 8/10

all in all a its 6-7/10 for me, this game made me feel emotions (not particularly positive ones lmfao) i've never felt in any other medium before, only the first game comes close.

tlou2 is bleak, hopeless and messy at times with some rare light moments like the flashbacks of joel and ellie that i enjoyed the most and wished we’d gotten more of while also exploring joel and ellie's present relationship on her quest of finding the truth about the hospital incident and maybe also learning more about her immunity alas this was not the case as seemingly promoted by neil and some misleading trailers.

would i want to play this again? to be honest not really I’ll maybe try clearing the trophies but going back to just casually play it like i did with tlou1 no i don't think so for now.

#asks #apocalypsekid #finally done this took me way too long #i am actually scared to publish this but f it lmao #also my grammar is awful but yeah #tlou2 spoilers #(just in case)#txt.personal #long post #why was this tagged as g**ingedit DHJSGDG #*edit bc i phrased it weird:#i dont hate tlou2 i can see what nd was trying to do; the story just had pacing and writing issues IMO #(the fact that a character i liked died has nothing to do with my relatively low rating)

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amphtaminedreams · 5 years

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Film Tier Ranking 2019: A Bad Year for Bird Films

Hi to anyone reading,

I’ve finally put it together: my 2019 film tier ranking! I know tier rankings are a bit 6 months ago but seeing British crisps sorted into god, good, mid and shit tier all over Twitter, the format really resonated with me and I was like I MUST USE THIS AT SOME POINT! And I guess since there probably isn’t much of an audience for crisp tier rankings on Tumblr, it makes more sense for me to do it with films instead, especially as doing a 2019 year in film review was something I previously claimed I would do; here’s to 2020 and following through on my proposals.

I think 2019 in general was an okay year for film, with the end of the year definitely outselling the beginning. One thing to bear in mind is that a lot of films that I would’ve been able to see in 2019, I.E Little Women and Parasite, didn’t come out until 2020 in the UK so they won’t make it onto this year’s list. It’s not a snub by any means. I more fall in line with the Elsie Fisher Film Awards school of thought than the Oscars, which have yet again disregarded several incredible performances this year: Florence Pugh in Midsommar, Taron Egerton in Rocketman, Lupita Nyongo in Us, and of course, Greta Gerwig’s direction of Little Women. I’m sure there are many more but those are the first few that come to mind. Oh to be in 2017 when nominations made fractionally more sense.

This list also includes films that weren’t necessarily released this year, but that I just got around to watching; there were a couple of disappointments but also a lot of films I can’t believe it took me this long to finally watch and have definitely made their way into my favourites. My goal for this year is to get through even more of the films on my verrrry long Letterboxd watchlist, and more specifically, watch said films without going on my phone, which is a really bad habit of mine. I find it hard to sit still! Let me live!

I also want to try and put aside my prejudices about visual quality and watch more pre-2000s movies this year; it’s really bad but I never managed to get more than half an hour into Psycho, of all films, solely because I couldn’t deal with the black and white. In 2020, I am going to stop being a whiney Gen Z/cusp millenial-er and give older films the chance they deserve.

So, without further ado, here is my film tier ranking of everything I watched in 2019! If you make it til the end and have any thoughts or disagreements, let me know. I love to hear other’s opinions and get new perspectives on things and am totally open to any criticism. Happy reading:-)

God Tier

Knives Out (Rian Johnson, 2019)

Knives Out. What a film.

I feel like I waited forever to see this at the cinema. They must have started showing trailers for it in, like, August, and I had to wait til mid-November to see it. How are you gonna just dangle a film with Toni Colette and Lakeith Stanfield in my face and then make me wait 3 months? Totally unethical.

But that being said, when it finally came around and I did see it, as much as I love Toni and Lakeith, there was one stand out and it wasn’t either of them: ANA DE ARMAS. I have to admit I’d never heard of her before but she acted the shit out of a role I feel I’d ordinarily find irritating and gimmicky. Daniel Craig, whose character seemed annoying as fuck in the trailer, was actually surprisingly funny.

Stylistically, it was a very cool film and I liked the subtle commentary on class that was running throughout. Also, I thought the ending was very clever. My issue with a lot of whodunnits is that they just pick someone who doesn’t make sense for shock factor *cough, Bobby Beale in Eastenders, cough* but the shocks here were more in the details.

Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019)

There wasn’t one single moment of Hustlers I didn’t enjoy and it’s quite amazing that there wasn’t one single point in this film about strippers that I felt gratuitously sexualised women. THAT is why you fund female directors. It made the whole thing look like a calculated art form, which I think the unsexy amongst us can all agree that it is. Constance Wu was a fantastic lead, J-Lo was kind of robbed for a supporting actress nom, and Keke Palmer and Lili Reinhart were hilarious too.

Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

Midsommar was such an experience that it took me a good few days afterwards to decide whether I actually liked it. I saw it the day it came out because I loved Hereditary so much and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I kind of had an idea of the way it was going to go, we could all kind of guess evil cult was the route that was being taken from the trailer, but I just didn’t realise quite how weird it’d get.

The gore was great, the visuals were stunning and the character arcs were surprising and for that reason, I think this is another game changer for horror from Ari Aster. I didn’t love it like I loved Hereditary but it continues to play on my mind and 7 months later I still can’t resist a good “Things you Missed in Hereditary” or “Hereditary Themes Explained” Youtube video essay. That’s how you know a film fucked with you and that’s the ultimate goal of going into a horror for me. Put that on my headstone after I inevitably get myself into some mortally dangerous conflict because I want to “get fucked with” a little bit.

Booksmart (Olivia Wilde, 2019)

So here’s the thing with Booksmart: I was getting progressively more and more drunk throughout it so I might be a little biased when I say I loved it. That being said, worth revere seems to be a commonly held opinion so I’ll stick to my guns. Plus, movies like this, which just focus on girls living their lives, are few and far between. Why have we had to wait THIS long for the female Superbad?

IDK. But Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein and Billie Lourd proved it’s definitely a genre worth investing in so hopefully we see more lighthearted female-led coming of age comedies. One Ladybird per year isn’t enough for me.

The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2018)

I included The Favourite in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch that I made earlier this year so I don’t have all that much to say about it that I haven’t said already. To summarise, it’s an instant classic: the cinematography, the cast, the lines, it’s all perfection.

Suspiria (Luca Guadagnino, 2018)

I also included Suspiria in my 50 Films You’ve Got to Watch list so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I adored everything about it. If I had to sum it up in one sentence I’d say divine feminine energy, but inverted. Plus ballet. That dancing scene in the mirrored room will probably never leave my mind (if you’ve watched it, trust me, you’ll know the one I'm talking about), and if there were awards given out for creepy montages in horror, this would win all of them. It still blows my mind that Tilda Swinton played 3 characters in this film; 2 of them are so distinctly different, if anyone put two and two together without prior knowledge of this fact then I’ll blow my own head up too. This is why I got so mad when there was all that discussion around her being the new female Doctor Who and there were people asking who she was. How can you not know who Tilda fucking Swinton is!? She’s a legend!

Sorry, is the wannabe film snob in me showing?

Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

Though I initially watched it because it’s branded as a horror, Annihilation ended up being a surprisingly introspective take on human nature and our self-destructive tendencies. Nothing really went the way I expected it to, even though I was constantly trying to guess that trajectory from beginning to end.

Visually, Annihilation is magnificent. Like, it’s tense, and where exactly the plot is going is shrouded in mystery, but most importantly, it’s super fucking pretty. Sure, the only thing that was mildly horrifying was the *SPOILER* end result of that bear scene but I didn’t mind too much because there was always that edge-of-your-seat possibility something like that would happen again.

Also I realised that Gina Roduriguez is really hot in this! I would just say in general but that video of her saying the n-word kind of took away shot at real world magnetism. WHY SUCH A SHITTY APOLOGY VIDEO!? WHY?!

Assassination Nation (Sam Levinson, 2018)

So I didn’t clock until I was looking up directors that Sam Levinson, Euphoria director, also directed this, and suddenly everything makes sense in the world. They both have that dreamlike, exaggerated feel that perfectly captures the emotional rollercoaster that is being a teenager, only in Assassination Nation obviously the threats are a bit more...tangible. As in its actually other people trying to kill our protagonists this time round, not just angst.

Not gonna lie, it’s not a patch on Euphoria because that show is probably the best thing I watched all year, but I did thoroughly enjoy it, even if I did feel the social commentary, despite how in your face it was, got a bit lost in translation at times. I think it’s the kind of film that, once again, would’ve felt more genuine coming from a female director, however that’s not to take away from how witty, modern, and completely relevant it still is as we move into 2020.

Sorry To Bother You (Boots Riley, 2018)

Right. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Why don’t more people talk about this film? Like it has Tessa Thompson and the world’s best earrings! Lakeith Stanfield getting more than 10 cumulative minutes of screen time! Armie Hammer being that bitch we all knew he was irl (probably)! Scathing critiques of late stage capitalism! It’s insane, in the absolute best way.

SPOILERS AHEAD: I had a mini paragraph written about the last hour of the film and the descent into pure unadulterated chaos, and how it’s like, the internet’s best kept secret, because ordinarily you lot can’t keep your mouths shut about a film or TV’s shows most crucial reveals for more than 5 minutes and THEN...My FBI agent must be feeling real cheeky because THIS tweet pops up on my Twitter timeline.

Fuck this shit, I’m out. Onto the next film. MI5 stop peeping my drafts.

Eighth Grade (Bo Burnham, 2018)

I don’t want to repeat what I said about Eighth Grade in my 50 Films you Should Watch list but Elsie Fisher’s performance in this is why I wish the Oscars also had some kind of rising star award category à la the BAFTAs. Honestly, every 13/14 year old should watch this; it’s a reminder that although feeling like an outsider is by its nature quite isolating, it’s prolific enough that a 29 year old man, 10 years out of “high school”, gets it.

American Animals (Bart Layton, 2018)

My sister and I absolutely loved this film so you can image our disappointment when we turned round to our parents at the end and our enthusiasm wasn’t matched...as in, I’m pretty sure they were both asleep for a lot of it. WHICH I DON’T GET. Because to me, there wasn’t a dull moment. American Animals is what happens when a group of university age boys with the finesse of the American Vandal Turd Burglar try and apply that to an Evil Genius stye heist, part Netflix, talking head abundant documentary, part live-action film. Splicing a stylistic reenactment with interview footage of the men who really attempted to commit the crime elevated what I probably would have put in the Good Tier™ to the God Tier™; seeing the guy Evan Peters is playing alongside Evan Peters playing him, now only the remnants of the arrogance we see in the reenactment left behind, sharply reminds you of the fall from grace these boys deservedly went through. Plus Barry Keoghan from The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in it, proving that unsettlingly stiff is NOT in fact his natural state.

Gerald’s Game (Mike Flanagan, 2017)

I wish there was a shorthand way to say I wrote about this in my 50 Films You Should Watch list so I’m gonna keep it short but here we are! This was great! If The Haunting of Hill House isn’t proof enough, Gerald’s Game (not to take away any credit from Stephen King) is a reminder that Mike Flanagan is the king of subtle, niggling sensation in your stomach that something is about to go very wrong horror. I hear he and Ari Aster have a timeshare situation going on with the crown.

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Okay, so this is the film that made me realise we should all be very scared of forests. Nope, all the documentaries into the Aokigahara Forest weren’t enough, apparently. I subjected myself to this too, as if my unfit, cold-blooded, bug-fearing, scared of the dark ass doesn’t already have enough concerns about my survival odds in the great outdoors.

Really though, setting aside, this film maintains the sense of dread throughout and keeps you guessing what’s going on until the very end. Much like The Descent, the group dynamic and characters are realistic enough that it adds to the believability of a scenario I, in principle, know would never happen to the extent that I might keep away from vast, wooded spaces for a while just in case.

Dumbo (Tim Burton, 2019)

If film Twitter came across this post and saw I’d placed Dumbo in a higher tier than If Beale Street Could Talk I can only imagine the outrage. And sure, the latter is probably a much higher quality film. But sometimes a movie, for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, gets you right in the sweet spot, and Dumbo did that for me. Maybe it was that the CGI elephant reminded me of my cat (I know, leave me alone), maybe I was emotional that day, I don’t know, all I know is that I cried like 5 times and was smiling for the rest of it-to be fair, the exploitation of animals for our entertainment is something that is still very much going on and that was something that was playing on my mind a lot whilst I was watching it. IRL Dumbos should be free too. Dumbo rights.

The VVitch (Robert Eggers, 2016)

This film taught me that there’s nothing wrong with joining a coven of young witches and getting naked and levitating around a fire. And that’s an important life lesson. Plus it gave us the quote “wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”, which is not only so perfectly creepy and simultaneously empowering that I had to get it tattooed but also, created ASMR. I just made that last bit up obviously but Black Philip getting his own ASMR Youtube channel?

The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2006)

For me, much like The Ritual, The Descent is a perfect horror film: it’s got the ghouls but the situation the characters find themselves in is also terrifying by its own merit. The reason The Descent made it onto my 50 Films list and the Ritual didn’t is because, let’s be honest, it’s 2020 and you can get mobile signal in most places. You could probably at least make a 999 call if you got lost in a forest. If you DID get stuck in an underground cave and it collapsed in on itself, you’d be pretty fucked; the idea of it makes me shudder and I will never set foot in an underground tunnel at any point in my life for any amount of money EVER after seeing this. Also, the women in this are great and the creatures in this are genuinely quite terrifying, especially the first time you see them.

Chicago (Rob Marshall, 2003)

Ah, Chicago, the last film on the God Tier™, proving that this list is in no particular order. Because WHAT A FIM. WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?! Like don’t get me wrong, I know it deservedly won Best Picture in 2003 but I’m talking about right now! I mean, fucking Titanic is still out here getting referenced left, right and centre and yet Chicago gets paid dust! Can you tell I’m mad and that I think Titanic is hugely overrated?! Is that maybe coming across?!

ALL the songs are bops, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot (I saw someone on Letterboxd say that Catherine Zeta-Jones in this film was their bisexual awakening and honestly, if I hadn’t already known I was a raging bisexual, same, because I FELT things in that All That Jazz opening) and Cell Block Tango is the revenge fantasy anthem I never knew I needed. Smart, tongue in cheek, beautifully shot and makes men look like little bitches which is probably why my dad hated it but what did I expect.

Good Tier

Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019)

Onto the first film of the good tier, Zombieland: Double Tap definitely exceeded my expectations. I was super worried about the prospect of a sequel as I love the first one so much and assumed it would be crap. Obviously, it doesn’t match up to the original because the original WAS so original, but it was still a fun, easy, witty ride. And I was SO glad they didn’t *SPOILERS AHEAD* kill off Tallahassee at the end because I really thought that was coming and it seemed so predictable and unnecessary. Highlight was the introduction of the lookalikes at Graceland.

Judy (Rupert Goold, 2019)

So, this is the first of two consecutive rants I’m about to go on about Oscar nominations and people’s reactions online. Prepare yourself.

I’ll start with the underlying message: just because you think something else deserves the praise more, doesn’t mean the film/album/*insert whatever artistic medium you wish here* that IS getting the praise is shit.

Like people are angry that Lupita Nyongo wasn’t nominated for best actress for her performance in Us which is COMPLETELY valid as she carried that film on her back. In the same vein, people are also angry that more women of colour haven’t been nominated for best actress. Also valid; I’ve yet to see The Farewell but I’ve heard great things about Akwafina’s performance and I love her so even though I haven’t seen it, I’m gonna take the general consensus that she should’ve been nominated too. The Oscars definitely has a problem with recognising the work of POC. BUT, because of this, people are angry that Renee Zellweger has been nominated for her performance in Judy, saying that it’s typical “Oscar bait”. I agree, it is typical Oscar bait. However, a lot of the people saying this will in the same breath say (or tweet rather) that they haven’t actually SEEN Judy.

How can you possibly say that Renee Zellweger doesn’t deserve any of the praise she’s getting when you haven’t even seen the film? Don’t get me wrong, the film itself is good but not outstanding (hence its place in this tier), but you can see Renee genuinely put her heart and soul into this film; it was powerful, and it was sympathetic but it was also nuanced and subtle where they could’ve just capitalised on all the sensationalised stories of the actions of a woman clearly deeply suffering in her final years and had it be full of shouting and screaming. The Wizard of Oz has always kind of felt like home to me because of the childhood nostalgia factor and so I’ve always been interested in Judy and I think Renee captured her heart and her spirit in a way she would be deeply honoured by. Maybe the film itself doesn’t deserve the acclaim it’s getting but I think Zellweger definitely deserves the nom and I think most people who’ve actually seen it wouldn’t contest that.

Joker (Todd Philipps, 2019)

Okay so second rant. I’m sorry. I have a lot of feelings. Most of them aimed at the annoying tendency of internet users, Film Twitter™ and Letterboxd users I’m looking at you in particular, to be wildly exaggerative.

There just seems to be no nuance online. It’s not just yeah, I didn’t like the film personally and the message could be perceived in a certain way by certain individuals, it’s I HATE THIS FILM AND IT’S DANGEROUS AND THE DIRECTOR FUCKING SUCKS. I noticed this trend when La La Land came out (which if I had watched last year would certainly be in God tier for me). It’s like, if a film initially receives a lot of praise and buzz, there’s almost this wave of compensatory vehement criticism in response that’s usually disproportionate to how controversial the film actually is. People didn’t like that Joker was popular because they didn’t like Joker so suddenly it’s the worst film ever and the possibility of it getting any critical acclaim is wrong. I even saw people berating Todd Philipps for channelling Martin Scorsese as he’s the only person to ever be influenced and take direction from one of the most dominant figures in film of the 20th and 21st century. I mean, what’s wrong with that?! If it was any other director, it’d be called homage. But because everything has to be seen through this malicious lens, its copying.

I think one of the few very valid criticisms about Joker was that it further perpetuates the idea that psychotic people are dangerous, and I can totally see where they’re coming from. At the same time, we have to accept that whilst the majority of people who are psychotic aren’t a danger to anyone apart from themselves, most “dangerous” people don’t just become dangerous because they thought, fuck it, why not? A lot of people in the prison system ARE suffering with some kind of mental illness. The character’s psychosis doesn’t make him dangerous, it’s his underlying resentment and sense of entitlement that grows throughout the film that makes him dangerous, and I think a lot of people seem to miss this point. They say that the way the film ends implies Philipps is justifying the actions of the films protagonist. However, we KNOW the Joker is an unreliable narrator, he’s one of pop culture’s most infamous villains and that being said, both in film and in the real world, few villains see themselves as the villain. Joker is about why HE thinks he’s justified in doing what he does, not why he IS justified in doing what he does because he’s not, and that’s pretty clear from the moment he shoots someone in the head on live TV. Honestly, I think there’s a bit of wilful misinterpretation going on because people don’t like that film

I liked Joker. It was gritty, it was interesting, and sufficiently dark. I didn’t think it was the best film of the year but I understand why it got the praise it did. Obviously, it’s okay that people disagree and DON’T like it. But can we please get a bit more well-acquainted with the middle ground?

It: Chapter Two (Andres Muschietti, 2019)

Okay, essays over. Back to regular scheduled programming of less impassioned reviews. Though I will say I deserved better than my Letterboxd comment of “so you can just fucking roast Pennwyise to death?” getting absolutely 0 traction. One day my grand total of 5 followers, one of which is my sister, will recognise my brilliance (lol).

It’s hard to say how much I really liked this as I think my perspective of how much I did enjoy it is warped by how much I disliked the first one. Child actors really aren’t my thing and the only cast members I warmed to in the first one were Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer whereas the cast here were a lot more likeable, imo. Bill Hader, Jessica Chastain and James Ransone were all great, with the only let down being James Mcavoy; I love him, don’t get me wrong, but I just think he was really miscast in this role.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot more about this instalment was that due to the more episodic/anthology-like/Creepshow-esque structure with each character conquering different monsters from their past individually, the narrative felt like it had a lot more direction, and it didn’t drag as much despite it having a significantly longer runtime. I haven’t read the Stephen King novels and I don’t know much of the pacing issues are down to them so this is me coming at it from a screenwriting angle but it felt as if the climax of the first film just kept going on and on. Every time I thought it had finished there’d be another confrontation between the kids and Pennywise whereas Chapter 2 seemed to have a more definitive third act and I appreciated that.

Rocketman (Dexter Fletcher, 2019)

So, here’s one where I WILL agree with the general online consensus: if Rami Malek got nominated for playing Freddie Mercury last year and Renee got nominated for playing Judy Garland, why the fuck didn’t Taron Egerton get one for playing Elton John? Why didn’t Rocketman itself get a nomination when Judy did? Though I personally preferred Judy because I’m more interested in her story, technically and narratively Rocketman is the better film in my opinion. This was so cleverly edited and sequenced and told with such a brutal honesty on Elton John’s part (it was co-produced by his husband David Furnish and he was heavily involved in everything from the set to the script), that I can only come to the conclusion that the obligatory biopic nomination only comes when the focus of said biopic is no longer with us as a kind of honorary thing. Whilst something like Bohemian Rhapsody was much more of an easy watch (which just goes to show how glossed over Freddie Mercury’s life was in the film), the way the story was told, by the time we got to I’m Still Standing that happy ending felt so earned.

Aladdin (Guy Ritchie, 2019)

You can hate all you want, Prince Ali and Never Had a Friend Like Me are fucking bops and somehow they were even better in this incarnation of the film. I was initially hesitant about Will Smith being cast but rather than trying to impersonate Robin Williams he went his own route and it really worked. He was the highlight of the film. It was undeniably visually stunning too. Madonna’s ex did good.

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Ah, I feel so conflicted when it comes to Us. Like, there were some really strong points and it’s definitely a good standalone horror movie. It’s just you can’t help but compare it to Get Out, and with that unsatisfactory exposition dump ending, I left feeling so disappointed. It seemed to me that Jordan Peele got in a bit over his head here with trying to tie such a vague social metaphor and the actual in-universe plot together, and so ended up leaving both a bit half-baked. He tried to OutPeele himself and for me, it didn’t work.

The doppelgängers were so scary as this ambiguous, vaguely threatening presence that if you are gonna give us a full blown, sit down explanation of why they exist it needs to be really bloody good. And this explanation didn’t make much sense. For example, *SPOILERS AHEAD* I imagine that the tethered just not being able to walk up the escalator into the “real world” was supposed to be some kind of metaphor for social mobility but it’s not fleshed out enough to work. In our world, there are REASONS why the idea of social mobility is flawed. In the film, it’s just like gee, if they chose to just walk up the escalator and go on this murderous rampage now, why couldn't they have decided to do it years ago back before they all lost their fucking minds? Why were they just copying the originals for all those years? HOW did they know what they were doing? See, the metaphor as I understand it is supposed to be that we depend on the oppression of others like us in order to maintain our social status, but not only is this kind of too general a statement to try and use a feature length film to make, I don’t really understand how this dynamic works within the narrative of the film. Technically, there's nothing to stop the tethered and the originals co-existing apart from the tethered deciding not to walk up the fucking escalator. We’re not talking a bourgeoisie-proletariat relationship here. The explanation of it all just being a “government project gone wrong” was too vague seeing as the plot working seemed prior to this to hinge onto something vaguely supernatural and the eventual plan of the doppelgängers seemingly had no purpose or application to the real world like the climax of Get Out did. It just left me feeling kind of like...why? Why did this all happen? When the ending and the twist was that predictable (the old Pretty Little Liars finale style twin switcheroo was blatantly obvious from the mother’s “it’s like she’s a different person” line near the beginning, let’s be real), I was expecting some final revelation that flipped my expectation on its head or at least felt helped things click into place. Instead, it seemed a bit hamfisted and like I was supposed to feel things were deeper and more significant than they actually were.

All that being said, I appreciate that if anyone other than the writer of Get Out had come out with this movie, I probably wouldn’t have these issues. Us was funny, it was fresh, and the concept of doppelgängers is something I’m so glad to see brought back into our modern pop culture database. The people are right, Lupita was incredible in this and it is a travesty that she didn’t get nominated. My sister, who was so creeped out by her vocal performance that she had her fingers in her ears every time Red spoke, still won’t let me attempt an impression of it. And that Fuck the Police sequence? Iconic.

On the Basis of Sex (Mimi Leder, 2019)

I apologise in advance for the shittiest “review” I’ll ever write, but honestly I can’t remember all too much about this film other than it being good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I’m sorry. You’re a cool lady.

If Beale Street Could Talk (Barry Jenkins, 2019)

EURGH, THIS WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FIM. The score, the shots, the rawness. I imagine it’s devastatingly real. Like, *SPOILERS AHEAD* you think there’s going to be a happy ending but there’s not. It should be disappointing but it’s an honest choice. And side note: fuck those annoying middle aged white ladies in the seats behind me and my friend who lost their shit and started giggling every time the N-word was used, JFC. I hate living in a Tory stronghold.

Cam (Daniel Goldhaber, 2018)

So, as I said, I’m a fan of the whole doppelgänger thing. It freaks me out. The point in this film where the protagonist is approaching her bedroom door whilst she watches HERSELF livestreaming from inside that same bedroom had my heart in my mouth wondering what she was going to encounter on the other side. And you see, the ending of this was a lot more ambiguous than the ending of Us, so I should’ve had less questions. Whilst I’ve seen other people saying it WAS unsatisfactory and that they felt like we were owed more of an explanation, I liked the simplicity of the answer we got and the wiggle room it leaves for our own interpretation. The way I see it, given that we were told by the fan the protagonist meets with in the motel room that *SPOILERS AHEAD* it was a case of some kind of software copying these women’s likenesses to steal their viewers and thus their profits, is that Cam is a kind of a commentary on the capitalist exploitation of women’s bodies and the demand for (and desensitisation towards) sexually violent content; we don't necessarily need to know who is behind the virtual cloning, which is terrifyingly believable given how realistic some of the deepfakes I’ve seen are, because it doesn’t matter. We're basically told money is the motive and we know the kind of lengths some people will go, and someone DID go to in Cam, to in order to make a shitload of money and that’s as true in real life as it is scary. On the other hand, if you want to believe there’s a more supernatural presence behind the events of the film, there’s enough left to the imagination that you can go down that route too. Some films are better left un-exposition dumped and this is the proof. My one criticism, is that, like many films, it would be even better if directed by a woman; I’ve seen people say that its portrayal of online sex work isn’t entirely accurate and though I can’t say with certainty that women working in this industry weren’t consulted in the first place, I imagine a female director would not only be more likely to listen to their concerns but could translate the confusion and fear that comes with being expected to makes oneself sexually desirable to get ahead in the world but then shamed and used for doing so even more viscerally. A few tweaks and it’d be God Tier.

Colette (Wash Westmoreland, 2019)

The costumes, sets, and Keira were so, so stunning. Also it was just an inspiring, beautiful story. The navigation of womanhood, so called “deviant” sexuality and self-expression against the backdrop of early 20th century Paris with a load of Edwardian era tailoring thrown in, it’s everything I could possibly want and more; 10/10 moodboard content.

The Boy (William Brent Bell, 2016)

I can’t believe this film was made in 2016, and it almost makes me move it down to mid tier based on the fact that a lot of the allowances I made for cheese factor I made on the assumption it came out earlier in the decade. BUT, that being said, I was creeped out for a good portion of this film. Most horrors I watch and I’m probably a bit too chilled (a head comes off or some witchy ass ghost screams into the camera and my only thought is some kind of judgement of the SFX), and yet I felt like watching this behind my hands. I don’t know what it is about dolls and puppets, Chucky was my childhood fear even though I never actually watched the film, but something about the uncanny valley of it all makes me just spend the whole time they’re on screen silently praying they don’t start moving or talking. So in a way, given the resolution of the film *SPOILERS AHEAD*, the premise of The Boy was actually a lot scarier to me than the reveal of what was really going on. Someone hiding in my walls? NBD. That demons are real and that they live inside creepy old dolls? Terrifying. Why does everybody I debate this with disagree!? You can't call the police on a demon! At least with a human being you can stick them with the pointy ending of something! Regardless, I enjoyed the journey and trying to work out how things would end and if there IS anybody secretly living inside my house right now, even if you are a supposedly dead murderous family member (last time I checked I didn’t have any of those so I should be all good), kindly vacate. Thanks.

Oprhan (Jaume Collet-Serra, 2009)

So the fact that this film is based on a real life case makes this all the more terrifying. It was a bit campy and tacky at times but the shot of *SPOILERS AHEAD* Esther taking off her makeup in the mirror and revealing her true age will always be iconic. Plus I love Vera Farmiga, even though I did struggle to see her as anyone other than Norma Bates.

First Reformed (Paul Schrader, 2018)

A hauntingly beautiful film with a lot of room for interpretation. There were so many gorgeous shots and so much subtext, this is proper 10/10 media studies essay material.

The Invitation (Karyn Kusama, 2015)

I would say the concept and implications of this film, which don’t fully hit you til the final shots, are a lot better than the film itself. It feels very realistic though and is definitely tense.

As Above, So Below (John Erick Dowdle, 2014)

I was so stoned when I watched this that a lot of the allegory and Dante’s inferno references went straight over my head, and it just seemed absolutely balls to the wall wild. I couldn’t buy that the characters would just KEEP GOING either when things began to get terrifying, like people in horror films really out here making the most nonsensical decisions and it drives me mad. But anyway, it was definitely entertaining and there’s a lot more to it in terms of plot and mythology than most similar quality horrors and I appreciate that

Climax (Gaspar Noe, 2018)

Climax is an interesting one that I think I’ll have to watch again to judge how much I truly like it. As with Us, I know it’s a good film, but I think my expectations of what it was going to be left me slightly disappointed. See, when I read about the premise I assumed that the horror was going to come from seeing the perspective of the characters on said acid trip and that leaves so much room for any kind of terrifying visuals you want whether that be something based in realism or fucked up creatures of the imagination. Buuuuut, it wasn’t that at all; at no point does Climax take place from the first person perspective of any of the characters. Similar to Darren Aronofsky’s Mother, the horror comes from not being able to do anything but watch as everyone starts losing their minds and the situation gets increasingly more dire. It’s pure stress; the acting is so unnervingly good that you really do feel like you’re watching some unintentionally horrific incident take place. That’s not a bad thing-I like it when films make me feel something intense, whether that emotion be positive or negative. It was just a different viewing experience to the one I had precipitated.

Mid Tier

Nativity (Debbie Isitt, 2009)

I find Mr.Poppy hilarious. Does that make me a child? Probably. I’m not really one for Christmas movies but this one’s alright.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (André Øvredal, 2019)

I get that it’s based off a book so it’s not exactly like the “monsters” were a secret in the first place, but for those of us who didn’t read the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books as a kid, my main beef with this film was that they basically revealed all of said monsters in the trailer. Like how It: Chapter 2 spoiled the scene with Beverly in the old lady’s apartment but with EVERY. SINGLE. CREATURE. The only one that wasn’t was the “jangly man” and the only takeaway I have from him is the “jangly in the streets, but is he jangly in the sheets?” Letterboxd comment I read afterwards. Like the creature designs are the selling point of this film and by showing us them all before we’ve even seen it, any anticipation that would’ve built up from their reveal was kind of gone. Plus, it definitely felt like the writers were trying to ride on the hype train of “It” when they wrote this-only they made it even more childish. I mean, I know it was classed as PG-13 in the US which is maybe part of the reason it was so tame but the Woman in Black was a 12 when it was released here and it could be the bias of my 13 year old brain but I remember that being terrifying to watch in the cinema.

Also, I found it weird how *SPOILERS AHEAD* a couple of the main characters died and there didn’t really seem to be any consequences? Idk, maybe that’s because I found them all a bit one dimensional but I’ve seen others make the same criticism so I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a BAD film. It just wasn’t super good.

Charlie’s Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019)

I’ve never seen the 2000s Charlie’s Angels so I really don’t have anything to compare to, but I don’t think this was THAT bad. I was fairly entertained throughout and I enjoyed Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart’s characters. My main issue was the unnecessary inclusion of Noah Centineo, and that weird ass montage at the beginning of stock video shots of girls just...doing miscellaneous things. Why, Elizabeth Banks, why!?

Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley, 2019)

In some ways, I see why Toy Story 4 was narratively necessary: co-dependency had been a running theme throughout and we needed to see Woody (I feel stupid saying this considering he’s a fucking toy but allow it) realise that he can exist independently of Andy, and that there’s more to life than pleasing somebody else. The way Toy Story 4 ended felt like a satisfying conclusion to his character arc, and as well as the animation being top tier, Forky was a hilarious addition to the cast. However, I don’t think it carried the emotional weight of the 3rd Toy Story, which I think people had accepted as the last instalment and had used to say goodbye to the franchise, and therefore the sceptic in me thinks that the obvious purpose of this addition was a cash grab. I don’t doubt that a lot of people worked incredibly hard on it-I’m just saying that the propelling force behind the film probably wasn’t “the people need to see Woody’s character growth” and that was quite apparent throughout.

Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

There were some really beautiful scenes in Doctor Sleep; the astral projection sequences in particular were magnificent and I loved Rebecca Ferguson as the villain. Stylistically, though I didn’t find out he was the director until I was writing this up, you can definitely tell it’s Mike Flanagan, and like I’ve said, he does horror very tastefully. Unfortunately, I just wasn’t all that interested in the premise and I wasn’t hugely invested in grown up Danny Torrance either. The execution was great and the return to the Overlook was brilliant, of course, but the story just wasn’t for me and nothing much sticks out as being a particularly intriguing plot point.

Mary Queen of Scots (Josie Rourke, 2019)

What to say about Mary Queen of Scots other than...yeah, it was alright. I mean, I really should’ve liked it more than I did, because these specific events were part of the Edexcel A-Level history curriculum (Can I get some Rebellion and Disorder Under the Tudors students representation up in here!?) and I usually love seeing history translated onto screen, plus it centred around Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan. It was just very...meh. I feel like there’s so much more complex a story here than was told. Both women were undoubtedly a lot more complicated than this film made them out to be and I think to reduce Mary Queen of Scots to a Mary Sue-ish heroine was a disappointing choice. Plus, if we’re gonna talk historical accuracy (which all the racists came out of their caves to discuss at the time), Mary and Elizabeth never actually met; I’m sure there was a more creative way to explore their dynamic than by forcing an interaction that never actually happened.

Apostle (Gareth Evans, 2018)

There were elements of this film I really liked; the mythology behind the cult, I.E what the townsfolk actually worshipped when you stripped away all the secrecy was pretty interesting. However, I felt it depended too much on atmosphere and not enough on plot, and I didn’t warm to any of the characters.

Searching (Aneesh Chaganty, 2018)

It’s difficult because technically, Searching is obviously an ingenious film. My issue is the way it ended, which was imo, super anti-climatic, and honestly pretty predictable in that it seemed like the writers just went out of their way *SPOILERS AHEAD* to make the culprit the person viewers would’ve ruled out by default for shock value, and then work out WHY that person was the culprit from there. I was expecting something a lot darker to be behind the protagonist’s daughter’s disappearance-irl, these situations usually are-and so maybe it’s just me being a bit of a sadist but I was disappointed by how things resolved themselves.

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, 2014)

So, this isn’t boring. It’s interesting to have a horror navigated through the lens of something as procedural as a police investigation. But ultimately, the acting isn’t great, there’s very few scary moments, and it’s a little cheesy. As horrors go, it’s pretty shallow-it is what it says on the tin.

Dumplin’ (Anne Fletcher, 2018)

I watched this right at the beginning of the year and I can’t remember all too much about it, but I remember not hating it? See, looking at the cast, Odeya Rush and Dove Cameron are both in it which would suggest I’d come away hating MYSELF instead but yeah...I got nothing.

Lights Out (David F.Sandberg, 2016)

The concept is very scary, the execution not so much, and the actual storyline is a little cheesy. I found myself just being like OH MY GOD, IT’S BELLA’S DAD FROM TWILIGHT! And then *SPOILERS AHEAD* getting mad that they did Charlie Swan dirty like that by killing him off in the first 10/15 minutes.

The Goldfinch (John Crowley, 2019)

So I LOVED the book of The Goldfinch. I read it after the Secret History and even though most people seem to prefer the latter, the former hit me right in the sweet spot. The length was almost one of my favourite things about it; I felt by the end that I came to know the character so well he felt like someone I knew in real life. When I heard Ansel Elgort was cast as Theo, I was really happy; I’m not necessarily a huge fan of him as an actor, I've only ever seen him in shitty teen-y dramas which I forced myself to like at the time E.G. The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but he looks kind of exactly how I pictured Theo looking. Almost like an Evanna Lynch as Luna Lovegood situation. And then honestly, the actual film came around, and I found myself much preferring the young Theo sections. I get that Theo is quite a muted character and I hate to properly slate anyone’s performance, but Ansel as him felt a bit flat. The casting in general was pretty whack; I love Nicole Kidman but she didn’t feel right as Mrs.Barbour and it seemed that they added a lot to her character to the detriment of Hobie’s character who was a much bigger part of Theo’s life in the book. Also, can we talk about Finn Wolfhard as Boris? I’m sorry, but that accent was godawful. Really bad. Boris’ accent was always supposed to be kind of ambiguous but this was just butchered Russian. Another gripe that my friend and I, who also read the book, had with the Vegas section of the film (which was otherwise probably the best part) was that they never properly explored the complexity of Boris and Theo’s relationship. Obviously I’m not saying that I want 2 minors to shoot a sex scene but it could have been referenced when they reunite as adults because the kiss on the head when they part in Vegas seemed misleadingly platonic. It was heavily implied in the book that there was some kind of love that went beyond friendship between the two and I didn’t get that in the film at all.

Ultimately, when you try and adapt a book as long as the Goldfinch, you’re always going to have some pacing issues and people complaining that things were left out or that X or Y character didn’t have enough screen time. But in ways, I think the fault here was trying to stay TOO faithful in the limited time available. They definitely could have focussed less on certain relationships and more on others, and when it comes down to it, I think we lost a lot of the grittiness of the original book for the sake of pretty visuals.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino, 2019)

Don’t get me wrong, this would 100% be in shit tier if it wasn’t for the last hour or so of the film and all the Manson lore which is so disappointing because I love Tarantino films and I love that era. As for the first couple of hours, I loved the vibe and I love Margot Robbie, and I think it was very respectful towards the Tate family (if anything radiated through the screen more than anything else it was Sharon Tate’s sweetness), but I just wasn’t that invested in Leo or Brad’s characters-it all just felt a bit pointless. I really like Brad Pitt and even that couldn’t really save it for me. Maybe if you took away the remaining 2 hours and 20 minutes of Leo DiCaprio making vague allusions to his own career to a girl only slightly younger than the combined age of all girlfriends past I’d enjoy it more but then I don’t think there’d be much footage left. I guess we should just be grateful that Tarantino managed to refrain from unnecessarily sprinkling the N-word into every other line of his script this time, right?

Also.

SO. MANY. FEET.

But then again, this did result in Brad publicly mocking Tarantino’s foot fetish during his speech at the SAG awards so...I’ll allow it. Sometimes kink shaming is okay. Especially when it’s this guy:

Isn’t it Romantic (Todd Strauss-Schulson, 2019)

I guess as romantic comedies go it wasn’t AWFUL because it was self-aware but still just not my cup of tea and it didn’t really make me laugh. Plus, I feel like it did just follow the plot of a conventional rom-com in the end so...what was it all for, you know?

Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier, 2016)

I think my disappointment with this film was a case of too high expectations. It wasn’t as gory as I hoped, in fact, there was very little on screen gore at all. I was just expecting something very messed up and I didn’t get that. But then again we did get Maeby from Arrested Development singing a fuck Nazis song so I guess that was a nice surprise?

Shit Tier

Birdbox (Susanne Bier, 2018)

First the disappointment of the Goldfinch, and now Birdbox (although they were chronologically the other way round but for the sake of this review, let’s just ignore that). It really is a bad year for bird films.

It’s weird because when this first came out I remember everyone hyping it up and making memes about it and stuff and then I actually watched it and dear god, it was boring. Honestly, who paid you lot to pretend you cared enough about it enough to make content? And where can I get in on this action?

I mean it didn’t start off terribly but then they killed off SARAH FUCKING PAULSON and somehow managed to make SANDRA FUCKING BULLOCK unlikeable. How does one do that? The mind baffles.

Pet Sematary (Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer, 2019)

The kid acting was bad, the leads were meh and there wasn’t one creepy moment. This should be SO MUCH MORE hard hitting than it actually was given the subject matter and it just fell completely flat. I will say, though, *SPOILERS AHEAD* that the ending was appropriately doom and gloom and even though I’ve seen lots of others say they hate it it was probably the only thing I actually liked.

The Lion King (Jon Favreau, 2019)

Seth Rogen and Billie Eichner were the only good things about this which is sad because I fucking love Donald Glover and I was so excited when he was cast as Simba. Like, it was pretty but empty and unnecessary and I’m not one of these people who think CGI remakes always have to be this way-I loved Dumbo and I liked the live-action Jungle Book too! I just think the people who made this cared too much about good CGI and realism and less about heart. There was no personality whatsoever and it’s such a waste when you think about the fact that they had Donald and Beyonce on board.

Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Eurgh, I hated this. I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning and I usually love her films but every shot of her in this felt so male-gaze oriented, even the ones which were sexually violent, which I found to be completely unnecessary in the first place. At times it felt almost torture-porn-y which was not what I expected at all seeing as the marketing made it seem like some kind of female empowerment movie.

It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults, 2017)

I literally can’t remember fucking anything from this film. Clearly there is a very, very fine line between atmospheric and boring.

Warm Bodies (Jonathan Levine, 2013)

Maybe it’s because I watched this about 6 years too late and the whole human-girl-falls-in-love-with-supernatural-creature hype train has long since left the station but I couldn’t even finish it. Cutesy necrophilia ain’t for me, sorry Nicholas Hoult. Still love ya. You’ll always be Tony Stonem to me xoxo

Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, 2005)

I’m pretty sure this movie won a lot of awards so I’m sure this is a very unpopular opinion but the way this film ended was so...depressing. SO depressing. Did it have to be THAT depressing? The Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode outsold.

This is the range Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank wishes she had.

Would You Rather (David Guy Levy, 2013)

Started off well but became cheesy and predictable as it went on. The acting wasn’t great either plus there was another unnecessary attempted rape scene here too.

Christmas with the Kranks (Joe Roth, 2004)

So I watched this movie in the run up to Christmas because my best friend and her mum were referencing it like it was this cult classic (which I guess for some reason it is?) and I’m sorry to her and her mum but what the hell is this shit?! It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

The plot, the characters, EVERYTHING, it’s ridiculous on every level. I wasn’t into it enough to suspend my disbelief that anyone’s neighbours would actually care THAT much that they weren’t celebrating Christmas. Go on your damn cruise, take me with you whilst you're at it, ease my seasonal depression! I wouldn’t mind so much if it was funny or if the protagonists were likeable but it wasn’t and they’re not. Nobody’s actions made any sense. It didn’t put me in the Christmas spirit at all it just made me angry that Jamie Lee Curtis’ agent made her do this shit. She’s a scream queen goddess and she deserves better.

ANYWAY.

I’m now realising that I should have started on shit tier and worked my way up to god tier because now this post has ended on the rather sour note of me getting worked up over Christmas with the Kranks, lol. As always, these are just my opinions and I love to hear other people’s; when it comes to something like this, it’s all a matter of preference and there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, so I’m open to discussion!

With the Oscars less than a week away now I rushed a little to get this out on time, so apologies in advance if anything doesn’t make any sense or there’s any typos, I will look back over it at some point over the next couple of days to check.

But if you read to the end thank you! And stay tuned for my overview of Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 if that’s something you’re interested in as that will most likely be next post!

Lauren x

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multimetaverse · 5 years

Text

HSMTMTS 1x08 Review

The Tech Rehearsal was a great ep. Let’s dig in!

Great Rini scenes tonight that did some heavy lifting to get them back to a place where they can almost be open with their feelings. Richard Bowen and Nina Salazar- Roberts being the reason the other goes by Nini and Ricky? Reader, that’s the cutest shit I’ve ever seen. The show really brought out the big guns with them knowing each other since Kindergarten. I think most of the casual audience is now shipping Rini, if they hadn’t already, so mission accomplished for the writers

Tim said on instagram that the writers wanted to show that Ricky and Nini had known each other since Kindergarten and it makes sense to use the Troyella rooftop scene and Gabriella’s line about meeting someone in Kindergarten and just becoming friends and use that to tie it all together. But it does somewhat conflict with Kourtney and Nini’s convo in 1x05 that made it sound like Nini only met Ricky in 7th grade. Now it’s true that Kourtney may have just meant it in the sense that 7th grade was when Nini started to have feelings for Ricky but if that’s the case then the writing should have been more clear

As Nini sang in All I Want, EJ is perfect on paper and in Miss Jenn’s notes she wrote that EJ was the perfect Troy on paper; it’s like poetry it rhymes

This is the second ep in a row where a main cast member has been missing. I do wonder if the writers felt that they had done too much work with Rina and keeping Gina off screen was the easiest way to set up a return to Rini. The writers have never been subtle when it comes to ending ships; when it came time to remove EJ as Nini’s love interest they quickly villainized him. I don’t think they want to undo the good work they’ve done redeeming Gina so keeping her off screen is the next best thing

EJ and Carlos had a fun dynamic. EJ trying to emote was so funny as was him stealing Miss Jenn’s notes, it really is his signature move. Matt Cornett does really well playing a dope. I liked that he gave Carlos a confidence boost. Nice to hear Carlos speaking Spanish

Also we now know that Carlos Surname is Carlos Rodriguez. Rodriguez, which means son of Roderick and originated from the Visigoths who conquered Spain, is the 4th most common surname in Spain but it also seems likely that the writers had never decided on Carlos’ last name and just gave him Frankie’s last name which is lazy

EJ Caswell is suffering from Lucas Friar and Jonah Beck syndrome; the handsome, athletic, and kind of ditzy love interest for the main girl who really doesn’t have much else going on when they’re not being shipped with the main girl. Lucas never really got much development but the writers could rely on Farkle to help balance out the show and in S3 the GMW became the Riley and Maya show so it didn’t really matter what Lucas got up to anyways. Andi Mack suffered greatly from never developing Jonah, especially in S3 once he was no longer Andi’s love interest his plot line was a total trainwreck. What made things worse is that the the writers couldn’t build up Cyrus like the GMW writers could build up Farkle since Cyrus’ story was restricted because he was gay. Luckily HSMTMTS has plenty of main characters and is less restricted so it doesn’t drag the show down so much that EJ is just kind of there. I also wonder if the fact that EJ is a senior plays a role in this, sure they can do S2 as the spring musical but what about S3 when EJ would be graduated? If he won’t be on the show long term then there’s no real pressure to develop him or give him that much to do

Big Red appearing behind Miss Jenn was the funniest moment of the ep for me. I also love every time we hear an adult refer to Big Red as Big Red because it’s just so silly

Big Ashlyn (I think that’s their shipname) remains cute. Very smooth of Ashlyn to use Big Red’s compliment to flirt with him

Loved The Role of a Lifetime, Lucas did great, nice little nod to Kate having played Glinda, and loved the ‘’contractually obligated dream sequence’’ line

Interesting motif of ruins tonight. The El Rey theatre is in ruins, on stage the backdrop is a ruined Roman city, and Miss Jenn must face the fact that her acting career and dreams are in ruins before she can start rebuilding her life

Dara can really sing, it’s hard to believe that Kourtney was just supposed to be a one off role. I thought her initial reaction to Nini potentially leaving was realistic but I’m not sure her calling the Dean to come and watch Nini perform was the right move to make it up to Nini

I liked the little Seb and Kourtney interaction. I know there’s been a lot of speculation that they’re setting up a genderfluid Seb story line but I’m deeply skeptical that’s something Disney would allow. And if they were willing to do that then I don’t think they would have allowed Seb to become a main character in S2

I really liked that Gina told Ricky via text that she would have to leave earlier than planned and that Nini told Kourtney and Ricky that she was interested in going to YAC. It was awful in Andi Mack when Buffy left early without telling her friends and then ghosted them for what was supposed to be two months in universe and it was weird that Andi never told any of her friends about SAVA so I’m glad HSMTMTS isn’t making the same mistakes

Looking Ahead:

Just for a Moment sounds great, Joshua and Olivia did such a great job. It’s great that Tim is giving the actors a chance to write their own songs, I hope we see more of it in future seasons. From a video Joshua shared on twitter we can see that they were working on the song during the filming of 1x02. The song must have been selected before 1x08 was written since Nini’s line that it was just a moment is clear set up for the song

The YAC dean is in the audience, does Nini flee and its Ricky who finds her which is why EJ is singing part of breaking free? Or is Ricky gone because he sees his mom in the audience?

How Gina’s move gets undone will be interesting to see. For Andi Mack at least they could say that government cutbacks led the Driscolls to return but if Gina’s mom has to follow natural disasters then it wouldn’t be so easy to just move her back to SLC

The show is flirting with disaster with the YAC plot. If Nini gets in then she will inevitably have to eventually return to East High and in the meantime she’ll be cut off from all the other characters and whatever focus YAC gets will necessarily take away from whatever is going on in East High. There’s a reason Andi Mack only introduced the SAVA plot in the final few eps, there would have been no way to actually pull that off if the series was going to continue

I really do hope we get something with Seblos in the final two eps. 1x05 was great and I’m happy that they were able to do so much textual stuff already but that shouldn’t be an excuse to not touch on it further. I’m sure that with Seb being a main in S2 we’ll get more but we need more now in S1

Until next week ep Wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Rini #Ricky Bowen #Nini Salazar-Roberts #EJ Caswell #Miss Jenn #carlos rodriguez #kourtney #seb mathew-smith #HSMTMTS Reviews

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ambitionsource · 4 years

Note

do any of the characters have pets? want pets? any allergic to animals?

farkle currently has a gecko leopard named elphaba, which is about halfway thru its life expectancy. he got it when he was 8 and obsessed with large lizards from his report in class and to shut him up stuart was like here. a lizard. go nuts.

charlie has the family beagle skippy, who is honestly one of his best friends and confidante. skippy has seen it all, and would probably talk some sense into charlie way earlier in his life if he could speak human. he is just about 7 years old.

dylan has a huge st bernard named mr puff (yes, like spongebob). they got him when he was 8 and puff was basically a puppy, shortly after dylan’s mom passed away. dylan loves mr puff dearly and he is very popular amongst the techie crew when they hang out at dylan’s. lucas in particular loves him and always gravitates towards him during hangouts.

the babineauxs have two cats, and zay is pretty neutral on both of them. they were more jada’s pals, although he doesn’t mind when they come and sit with him (though he’s not often sitting around long enough for them to snuggle up). he’s open to having more pets in the future though.

isadora had a dog at a foster home from the past, and now “is roommates” with eric’s orange cat, annie. they tolerate each other. riley does not have pets, but i think she’s always thought it would be nice to have one. zay’s more shy and reserved cat likes riley a lot, so she draws in pets pretty easily.

lucas has no pets but my god does he want one. to have a dog... a big ol’ dog... mr puff is kind of lucas’s pet by proxy. asher has a turtle named tortimor (and no, he doesn’t realize the animal crossing connection), but lily takes more care of him than asher. turtles don’t... do much, you know. in the future however asher lets go of his reluctance towards dogs to adopt one with dylan, a rascally mutt named toto. altho he acts aloof, toto loves asher and he quickly grows to love him too and is definitely the favorite (and dylan finds it so funny how he acts casual but then will be so soft with toto... like the irony).

and maya has no pets and doesn’t desire one. she’s also allergic to dogs. dylan makes her sneeze often because of puff hairs, another reason to despise him. the end.

— Maggie & Es

#ask and you shall receive #answered #anonymous #front nine #ambition quarantine 2020

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youeverfeelcursed · 4 years

Text

On the Narrative of Last of Us Part 2 (3/3)

So this should be the last part on the narrative but I’ll probably post more thoughts on characters, representation, maybe on some details of the gameplay that just made me wish I could design something like this and most likely a text on where do I think this franchise is going to.

I will also check and fix the previous posts as I know there’s typos and some mismatched data and maybe some timelines confusing. Logically, it comes with posting at my 3am and working from memory and not notes.

That said, lets just move onto what I hope is interesting enough for people to read these old woman’s ramblings. For anyone still reading, thank you very much for your attention, it’s been a while since I truly enjoyed analizing an art piece.

(Note: I’m marking this post for rechecking as I feel its a bit convoluted. I blame it being 4am.)

We ended the previous Act 3 (Abby’s Act) with a overhead shot (or aerial if you prefer) of Ellie and Dina on different sides of the shot, close but separated with Ellie being bathed by a red light and both represented in a descending oblique line from Dina to Ellie.

I find it a wonderful shot that represents Ellie’s story in few and simple details.

(For those interested, the name in the screenshot is from MkIceAndFire a No commentary channel I follow, go check him out!)

From here, we jump to what I called the respise intermission, a short part but full of important details for the understanding of the next and final act.

Like a moth to the flame, or how living sometimes is harder than dying.

The next part of Ellie’s story is as bittersweet as the best coffee you’ll ever have. We find her reminiscencing over Joel’s watch on hers and Dina’s bedroom. Putting it away we get to finally hold in our arms the cutest potatoe I’ve ever seen: JJ! Jesus that child is cute. And it’s obvious that Ellie loves him with all her heart.

During this time we get to explore the beautiful they both probably restored to live in, in which it specially caught my attention how Ellie surprinsingly gets a full room for herself, whereas Dina seems to have a small space in the living room , where the photo of her sister sits.

I loved this part so much but I could feel that something was wrong, and it is. If we read Ellie’s diary we find out that she’s having trouble sleeping and dealing with people, needing to hide and what’s most likely profound PTSD thats later shown with her breaking down after herding all the sheep.

A detail that I found important is the fact that she breaks down while having JJ in her arms, which has to be removed by Dina in case she hurts him during her seizure. Because remember that for Ellie protecting those she cares for is very important, so, does she feel she can protect them now?

Stop for a minute and think of how hard is for nowadays soldier to treat PTSD even with psychological support and meds, and how many of those war survivors end commiting suicide anyway. Now imagine that same in a world where violence is constant - yes they live peacefully in the farm but do you really think they don’t have to deal with any straggler? - and there’s basically zero to none mental health support.

Thats where it is important to pay attention to the moment when Ellie is coming back from hunting, how she cleans her face and takes a deep breath and puts her mask on - an obvious referal to her words in her diary - just before going back to Dina and JJ.

I mean this is not the face of a person fully happy, its the face of a person thats putting her best front but catastrophically failing her inner battle.

Tommy’s visit manages to break any remainer of the mask she tried to maintain so hard. It is obvious how while he tells her how he found information about Abby that with every word she breaks a little bit more. The trembling, tight shut lips and her open wide eyes that look as hopeful as they look lost.

If this were another world, one in which I believe Ellie could get help, I would have hated that she left. But she says it herself, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat, she has a full room for herself so she can have space and even so she leaves for long times alone. She’s not really living, she’s riding the waves as they come but never truly enjoying it because by now her trauma is so deep I would have been surprised that she stayed.

Because when Tommy talks about Abby, she feels a light, a hope of being able to just pour all of this shit out of her. Abby is not even important anymore, shes just a barrier for Ellie for her own liberation from her demons. Or thats what she thinks.

She truly does JJ and Dina, but she’s completely broken inside. She’s missing pieces and for her, this is a chance of regaining them. It’s not even about vengeance anymore, it’s about rest. An end. Closure.

What comes around, goes around. Or how Santa Barbara was the so needed eye opening.

I was truly happy to see Abby and Lev being kind of silly and well, happy. They are the example of how you can heal when you learn to forgive both yourself and others. A extreme image compared to what we’ll see from Abby next time.

Fast-forward to Ellie after leaving the Rattlers village. Look at Ellie, she’s slightly delirious - Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby... - completely battered, skinny, with a fucked up side, half limping and pulling through out of sheer desesperation. She needs to do this, because if she doesn’t everything she left behind - Dina, JJ, Jackson - will be for nothing. She says it herself in her diary, she cannot think of that.

And it’s funny. It’s funny there she goes. She helps Abby down and follows both of them to two small boats where she makes a scranny and completely eaten up Abby battle with her in exchange of not hurting Lev.

The battle is sad. Abby contrary to Ellie had started healing so she didn’t want to battle. But it’s sad, these two beautiful human beings battling against each other as shadows of what they used to be, eaten away by life, hate and stupid decisions. You just feel like being over it because by this point it just feels completely stupid to keep warring.

And there, Ellie doesn’t kill Abby. We get a flashback of Joel playing the guitar that stops her from killing her.

And it’s funny, it’s funny because without Ellie both Lev and Abby would be rotting in those pillars. She left her home to kill a woman and ends saving both their lives! Why would she do that?

We end this Act 4 with Ellie alone, watching the last remains of her flame disappear into the nothing. Rock bottom. You cannot go down further. That’s what it means. She left her family, Tommy is crippled and kind of hates her, Jesse is death, Joel is death, Ryley is death.

And yet she left Abby leave. But why?

The answer to all this crazyness is in the last flashback of her and Joel and a few words that are thrown into the night.

“I was supposed to die in that hospital. My life would’ve fucking mattered. But you took it from me!”

Purpose.

Yes, purpose. A meaning to her life. A meaning that has been ripped from her hands multiples times in situations out of her control. Is this what she really wants? Her life to revolve around vengeance? Is this what she’s choosing?

So for once, she decides for herself and she decides that no. She doesn’t want that path. It’s not enough anymore.

Ellie was supposed to die with Riley, but she survived and found out that’s she’s immune.

Ellie traveled from one side to another of USA to be the solution to humanity’s problem. To help create a vaccine, whatever the cost. She was ready for it, she was ok with it. But it was ripped from her and lied about it multiple times.

Imagine thinking you’re immune but that it means absolutely nothing. After getting yourself mentally ready for whatever it would happen, you are told that you’re useless. That you cannot help. That you’re worthless.

Worthless.

She ends in Jackson, And learns she’s been betrayed by the person she trusted most, that she could have meant something instead of just living taking care of cows and patrolling.

It was impossible for Ellie to remain the same even before Joel’s death. Because Ellie is a very complicated character made of survivor guilt, a need to have a purpose in life, too many personal loses and self hating. Not only that, but all of this happens during her adolescence, a time which is hard to deal already without all these traumas piling up.

Joel’s killing is what makes the bomb explode. Suddenly she can do something, she can leave Jackson and she can revenge him. Again, purpose. She can feel alive because she’s got finally a direction. It’s just not the correct one, because we all know that hate is a terrible guide but for her, is the only guide amids the fog.

Ellie is a character that has been lost from the moment she learned she could have helped humanity. Chasing Abby was literally the easy path to take to give some meaning to her life.

When she was with her family at the ranch, I truly believe she wanted her purpose to be to protect her family, but it was something impossible for her to do in her condition. She tried hard, but she couldn’t do it. Her diary again sheds some light on these, on how she feels she has nothing else to give to them.

We know that, if Joel hadn’t been killed, she could have healed given enough time. She could have forgotten him. She could have find a motivation in Jackson. But there’s so much you can push something until it completely breaks.

I think that, at the end of the game, when she walks from the ranch she realizes she cannot keep going like this. That if she wants her life to mean something, she has to do it herself instead of just waiting for it to happen. And I feel I know which way she will take next and why.

Although the ending might seem sad, I found it strangely positive. The circle comes to a end, the guitar that Joel cleaned in the first seconds of the game, is put down by an Ellie lacking two of her left hand fingers impossible, to play it again that way. It is an act of moving on, but not of forgetting.

Of finally attaining peace of mind, and the chance of recovering herself.

#the last of us 2 #the last of us II #the last of us part 2 #tlou #tlou part 2 #tlou 2 #the last of us 2 narrative #the last of us 2 analysis

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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nobody knows where we might end up, chapter nine (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr) | word count: 4417

AN: Thank you for all the wonderful feedback on the last chapter! I appreciate it so, so, much, comments make my heart incredibly full. Thank you writ for being a wonderful beta as always <3

(then)

“Gonna miss you.” Vanessa’s voice is soft from where her head is resting on Brooke’s lap, and it makes Brooke absolutely melt.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Ness.” Brooke runs her fingers through Vanessa’s hair, an action that makes Vanessa snuggle into her and let out a contented sigh. She wishes that she didn’t have to let her go.

“Just a long weekend, though. Then you’ll be back.” Vanessa beams up at her. “I’m excited for it already.”

Brooke can’t help but grin back, because Vanessa’s smile remains the cutest thing in the world to her. “You sap. Me neither. My cousin’s wedding will be over and done with before we know it.”

“Send me hot pictures of you in your fancy dress for the wedding.”

Brooke wrinkles her nose. “Are you kidding? My mom’s probably picked something out already that’ll be appropriate for a church wedding. It’s not going to be hot in the least.”

“You’re always hot to me. Even in your little church dress.” Vanessa wiggles her eyebrows at her and Brooke can’t help but poke her shoulder.

“Shut up.”

Vanessa sticks her tongue out at her. “Make me.”

“Have you forgotten I know exactly where you’re ticklish?” Vanessa’s off of Brooke’s lap the second that the words leave her lips.

“Don’t you even think about it!” Vanessa shrieks and moves to Detox’s side of the room, flopping onto her bed.

Brooke rolls off of her bed too, wrapping Vanessa in a hug instead. “I won’t use my powers for evil for now, at least.”

Vanessa pouts up at her from her position. “I still can’t believe you don’t get ticklish.”

“My superpower.” Brooke grins, though it quickly turns into a frown when her alarm clock goes. “Shit. That was the alarm I set to catch my bus.”

Vanessa’s arms tighten around her waist. “Don’t leave.”

“I wish you could come with me, somehow.” Brooke sighs, hugging Vanessa tighter too. Vanessa’s so good at calming her down by just being in her presence, making her feel like things are going to always be okay.

“Me too. Shut that damn beeping off, though.” Vanessa’s voice is muffled into her sweater, face buried in the hug, and Brooke snorts. She lets go, tugs Vanessa along so she can turn off the alarm on her bedside table.

“I gotta go.”

Vanessa stretches on her tiptoes, kisses her. “Don’t miss me too much.”

Brooke snorts. “Please. You’ll miss me more.” Though she can’t deny that she will, even if it’s just for four days. God, they’re already too codependent on each other. Brooke would consider it a problem if she didn’t enjoy it so much.

The bus ride is simultaneously too long and not long enough, knowing that the destination is just bringing her closer to the weekend. Brooke wishes she could just fast forward to Monday, when she’s going to be back at uni and back in her dorm. With Vanessa, with the rest of their friends.

She stumbles off of the bus with suitcase in tow, intent on walking the rest of the way home. She hadn’t wanted to ask anyone from her family to pick her up - it would just have been an awkward car ride, anyway. She’s going to get enough uncomfortable family moments this weekend as it is.

The front door opens when she reaches the entrance, making her raised hand fall down on its own before she can even knock.

“Mom?”

“You’re late. Come set the table, it’s almost dinner.” Her mom snaps the words at her, turning on her heel.

Welcome home, indeed.

The four pale pink walls of Brooke’s childhood bedroom had once acted as her getaway. She would lie on her bed as a kid, her mind dreaming up different scenarios of being a famous ballerina, a knight with a pet dragon, an astronaut. Somewhere where she was powerful, in control of everything around her and also loved. She’d always have her happy ending, get to kiss the princess before her young brain even knew it was considered wrong by some.

The walls are suffocating her now, two days into her stay. The room is a memory of the way she’d try to cry as softly as she could as a kid, trying not to make any noise into her pillow. The way she’d pop painkillers to numb the ache in her muscles from overuse, ballet wearing down her body too fast for someone who hadn’t been fully grown. The way she’d squeeze her eyes shut tight, ignoring the arguments that she could still hear no matter how hard she tried to block them with her dreams of prettier stories than her own.

Being back here feels like the walls are pushing down on her, closing her up in a box that had succeeded in containing her for eighteen years. Except now she’s had a taste of life outside of the box, and she never ever wants to come back.

Her Blackberry beeps and she picks it up from its spot on her pillow, and can’t help but smile when she sees that it’s a text from Vanessa. She can almost imagine the other girl lying on her bed, pink Motorola RAZR phone in both hands as she types faster than Brooke ever could.

VM: my mom got the pics from Christmas developed!!!!

VM: look at my wack ass fam

The picture is absolutely chaotic, everyone in the group smiling, laughing, or, in Vanessa’s case, yelling at the person taking the photo. They’re all in colourful ugly Christmas sweaters, some with Santa hats, some with reindeer ears.

VM: my mami’s the one wearing the fake Santa beard LOL

BLH: Oh my god. You look just like her.

The woman beside Vanessa in the photo really does look like an adult Vanessa, though with hair that is a few shades lighter. She has an arm around Vanessa who looks tiny beside her, their oversized sweaters nearly taking them over.

BLH: Who else is who?

VM: well, there’s julio, my brother, he’s the one wearing the dumbass elf hat. my abuela, then my tía rosa, her husband enrique, my tío pablo and his husband luis, my tía carmen, my cousins maria and isaac and isabella and daniela and alex. and riley my pup!!!

BLH: Your family is huge, omg.

VM: not even all of them. these are just the ones who could make it to christmas dinner

The photo makes Vanessa’s house look so fun, so welcome, so opening and inviting. Brooke zooms in on the photo, looks at their individual faces that look like they’re having a blast.

BLH: Wait, did you say your uncle and his husband?

VM: yeah they’re married!! caused a big drama when tío pablo brought him home the first time but now everyone loves him and their wedding was the best. and my mami wasn’t as mad when i came out to her lol

BLH: you’re out to her?

VM: yeah!!! a couple years ago i came out she cried for two days then got over it lol

Wow. Brooke’s wondering why they’ve never had this conversation before. Brooke knows that Vanessa senses her discomfort around talking about her own family, and tactfully doesn’t ask her much. Vanessa always talks about her own, though, recounting her constant bickering with her brother and her mom’s trash talking at the wheel.

BLH: Wow. That’s great, though.

VM: ya, she still wants grandkids tho

VM: says riley doesn’t count >:(

BLH: LOL. He is the biggest furriest baby there is.

Brooke pets Henry absentmindedly, burying her fingers into his soft fur as he purrs. He’s curled up on the pillow beside her, Apollo resting on her desk chair. Henry and Apollo are the two things that she doesn’t mind about visiting home. She opens the picture from Vanessa again, looking at all of the happy and smiling faces. Looks at her married uncles. It’s a contrast from the family portraits that line the walls in Brooke’s house, ones of her and her parents sitting stone faced, looking poised. Nothing short of practiced and perfect, matching their vibes during the holidays. Quiet, tense dinners, a cloak for the screaming arguments in the late evenings that her parents would get into after having too much to drink and needing to release their pent up resentment towards each other, only to go back to clipped tones the next day, as if nothing had happened.

The longing in her chest is tangible, a woven rope that makes her want to jump into the picture and have a family like Vanessa’s, one so big and full of life.

Brooke looks at the way that Vanessa’s grandmother’s arm is wrapped around her uncle’s waist and hugging her son close, and the way that Vanessa is curled into her mom’s side. Brooke wonders if Vanessa has mentioned her to her mom, talked about them at Christmas break. If Vanessa used to mention her past girlfriends, giggle about her dates with her mom.

Would her parents be the same way, if she came out to them, equally supportive and loving? Does she have to? Is she fake if she doesn’t?

She doesn’t want to. Facing their inevitable disappointed expressions, echoing the homilies they’ve heard at Mass about how being gay is wrong, how it means you’re a sinner. How you can’t go to heaven and thus can’t be a good person, if you’re gay.

Do her parents believe that? Would her parents hate her?

How could they, though? Would they hate Vanessa too, someone so sweet and funny and smart and utterly wonderful, just because of preconceptions that they have about her?

She wants a family like Vanessa’s, wants it so, so bad. Wants a house that is loud and full of laughter and ugly Christmas sweaters and one where she can bring her girlfriend home to. One where she’d be able to talk to her mom about anything and everything, where her mom would give her advice and actually give her the time of day.

Brooke’s fine on her own, in her room. She is. She just wants more. Wishes that she had it more than anything in the world.

(now)

“Vanessa. Please.”

Brooke bangs her fist on the door one, two, three times, the door an unmoving barrier that won’t budge as she ignores the patients, nurses, doctors, and technicians that pass by in the hall, because nothing else matters right now. She needs to talk and explain things, find out what made Vanessa push her away and look at her with an expression of horror and confusion alike, because she doesn’t know. It’s replaying in her brain a million times over, chipping away at her insides and she can feel her foundations start to crack, on the route to crumbling if she doesn’t find out.

Maybe it was the nickname.

Who was Brooke to even call her ‘Nessa’? A pet name that’s so laden with softness and memories of them from when they were so much younger. Of course Vanessa hadn’t wanted to hear it, they’re different now and they don’t do this and they’ve both moved on. They’re adults, two adults having sex. Nothing more.

She’s so stupid. She’s slipped up and ruined everything.

“Please, just talk to me.” Brooke never begs, she doesn’t. But right now she can’t help it as the words leave her lips sounding desperate and broken, ruining any illusion she’s ever wanted to portray of having her shit together. Any semblance of a carefully constructed persona that she carries around with her around the hospital is melting away, because all she can think of is Vanessa on the other side of the door.

The door doesn’t open.

Maybe it had been the way she’d pulled Vanessa in for a kiss after the consultation meeting. Maybe Vanessa had wanted to tell her that they were done, that she wanted to end whatever she fuck they were doing. And then Brooke had gone and kissed her, made everything worse. Made Vanessa firm in her decision.

She’s a fucking idiot.

Vanessa could probably sense it, all of it. The way that Brooke still fucking feels it, wants more than just sex no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she doesn’t. She hates it.

Brooke’s tried, the last few days. Attempted to hide her disappointment when Vanessa had to cancel meetings with her when the cardiac units got busy. Held her face back from displaying too much when Yvie had asked her about Vanessa and how they hadn’t seemed to be fighting for the first time in awhile. Brooke’s tried to forget the feeling of Vanessa’s face buried in the crook of her neck, arms gripping onto her like she’s a precious metal, because she’s not Brooke’s to cherish.

This is why she never does these…things. Doesn’t date anymore, stays far away from anyone that could make her feel more than she should. She doesn’t need it, doesn’t need the connection that feels so good, so right in the moment before shattering her into pieces when it ends. It ruins everything.

And now here she is, hung up over an ex from more than a decade ago, someone who’s been happily over it for just as long, leaving Brooke a fucking mess and banging on a door that she knows won’t open.

Stupid.

Brooke watches as her own fist drops from the door, slides down the smooth surface until it’s resting at her side. The telltale numbness that is activated by her brain when she’s feeling too much begins to spread over her heart, her soul. It glazes over the shame, the embarrassment, the rejection, the longing for someone who she shouldn’t be hung up over in the first place. The grey cloud is enough to numb everything, leaving a bulletproof blank slate that is impossible to get through from the outside.

She doesn’t need anything, or anyone. She’s learned that enough.

And so she turns on her heel, and she leaves.

Brooke does the only thing that she knows how to do when she needs to drown out her thoughts, shut her brain off to avoid the feelings that she doesn’t want to feel - she turns to her work. She takes on more patient referrals than she usually would, filling up her schedule with procedures that require her full attention for hours upon hours.

The work is methodical, routines that she’s followed a thousand times in her career. Cuts from her scalpel, the buzz of the bone saw, beeps sounding throughout the OR as she directs her team, working together like a miniature ecosystem. Patients that survive, others on the brink of death who pull back because Brooke refuses to sit down until they’re stable.

Other patients that die on the table and take a piece of Brooke with them when they go.

If her team notices any changes, they say nothing. She doesn’t care, she’s not here for them.

She’s here for work.

The interns piss her off more than usual, making stupid mistakes that are reflective of any medical student, but right now they’re so careless and messing with Brooke’s work, and so what if she yells at them more than she normally does? It makes her feel better afterwards.

It doesn’t stop her from escaping Nina’s scrutinizing gaze, though, her best friend looking equal parts done and worried as they sit in her office at the end of the day.

“I’ve had three interns email me today about how they can’t work in, and I quote, ‘unsafe work practices’.” Nina looks as if she’s staving off approximately three headaches at once, and Brooke would feel bad if they interns didn’t deserve it.

Brooke takes a sip of the wine that Nina’s poured for her. “Not my fault that they can’t handle the rigorous workload of being on the neuro units.” If they want to work with the best, they need to be the best.

She doesn’t need to put up with interns that forget simple suture techniques, or ones that don’t come prepared with answers to the questions that Brooke throws at them. How else are they going to become surgeons?

“Except this is new, Brooke, and you know it. You’re normally a bitch, but a fair one, which is how you’re good with the interns most of the time. But from what they’ve told me now, it sounds like you’re just being plain mean to them.” Nina tugs her glasses off, puts them on the desk before rubbing her temples.

Brooke shrugs. “They shouldn’t be in surgery if they can’t handle it.”

“No, you’re taking your frustrations out on them. Which I get, but also you’re going to scare all of them away, and the teaching component of this hospital is incredibly vital, and so we need to keep all of these baby doctors without you making them run with their tails between their legs before they can even reach residency.”

Brooke crosses her arms. “They’re shit baby doctors.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it.” Nina looks up at her, really looks up at her, and it makes Brooke shrink in her seat. Nina’s the only one in the hospital who can actually make her do so. “What on earth is up with you?”

Brooke shrugs. “It doesn’t matter.” It doesn’t, she’s dealing. She’s not going to let Vanessa affect her.

Nina sighs. “Brooke…”

“Anyway.” Brooke leans forward in her seat, rests her elbows on Nina’s desk. Ignores Nina’s pointed look at her. “You still haven’t told me about the date with Ryan you had last week. You promised me the details.”

It’s a distraction tactic, a flimsy one at best, but it does the job, Nina’s face lighting up at the mention of her new boyfriend. “Well, he said to dress fancy, but not too fancy, right?”

Brooke nods as she listens to Nina’s excited rambling, the woman at times as easy to redirect as a four year old. The subject is much more palatable than her own fucked up love life - not that she even has one.

The shot of tequila creates a smooth burn down the back of Brooke’s throat, the subsequent salt and lime not enough to drown out the overbearing noise that is forever present at Ralph’s. Brooke gestures to the bartender for another shot as Yvie, Scarlet and other members of the neurosurgery team toast to Plastique.

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Yvie yells the words as she slams down her empty shot glass. “May this be the year that you’re finally not carded.”

“That’ll probably be never. Everyone thinks I’m twelve years old anyway.” Plastique sighs. “Last week an attending asked me if I needed help finding my family - he thought I was a patient’s kid or something.”

Brooke can’t help the laugh that bubbles in her throat, something that Plastique immediately catches. “Don’t you start.”

Brooke has to cover her mouth. “Sorry, it’s just hilarious. We have a tween on the neuro team.” She cant help but fully crack up after making eye contact with Yvie.

Plastique pouts. “That’s Dr. Edwards to you. I’m a resident, damn it.”

“A twelve year old resident? Child prodigies are truly so impressive.” Yvie grins, patting Plastique’s arm.

“You’re all the worst. The absolute worst.”

“And yet,” Yvie shrugs, “you love us.”

Plastique grins. “Can’t deny that. Even if you all are pretty much considered elderly at this point.”

“Careful, or I’m gonna run you over with my walker.” Yvie pokes Plastique’s side, which makes her yelp and poke Yvie right back.

Brooke snorts. She loves her team, or at least, parts of it. She didn’t want to come out tonight, before being dragged out of her apartment by Yvie and Scarlet (a running theme recently, the two of them refusing to let her rest for even five seconds), but now she’s not so upset that she has.

Plastique, the newest member of neurosurgery who had started as a resident only a few months ago, already fits in well with the group. Brooke’s glad that she has friends that are at her level - or rather, close to her level, since she does outrank them all as the head of neurosurgery. Ones who she can discuss difficult cases and current research with, topics that someone who doesn’t work in a hospital would be utterly confused about. It reminds her of undergrad, when her and Vanessa would-

No. Not happening. She’s not thinking about that.

The bartender slides over the other shot that she’s ordered, and Brooke downs it without so much as a wince. The tequila and lime and salt are tangible, existing sensations that help to draw her out of her head, from the clutches of memories and regrets that never seem to leave her alone anymore.

“Slow down, B.” Yvie tilts her head, brow furrowed. “We got here like, ten minutes ago.”

Brooke shrugs. “Getting a head start, that’s all.” She’s gonna need all the alcohol that she can get on her first night out in awhile.

She’s been coming in early, staying late, overworking herself to shut off her mind, though it hasn’t been working as well as she wants it to. Vanessa’s smile. Vanessa’s moans underneath her. The furrow in Vanessa’s brow ever present in their past meetings. The way Vanessa had pushed her away the last time in the conference room. The way Vanessa hadn’t opened the door, effectively letting her know that she wasn’t interested. Wanted it to end.

Brooke gets it, really does. Though her heart fucking doesn’t, replaying the moment over and over again since it happened, the knife in her heart twisting more and more every time.

She needs to get a grip.

The alcohol flowing in her system is no help, making the conversations that are happening around her louder, the lights brighter, sensations that are exacerbating the very thoughts that she wants to drown out.

Scarlet pulls out a cupcake, because, being Scarlet, she had picked one up earlier for Plastique’s birthday. Plastique squeals (‘you got double chocolate!’) , pulling Scarlet into a hug. Brooke lets out a surprised yelp when she tugs the rest of them in, too, nearly falling off of her stool.

She peeks over Yvie’s shoulder while still in the hug before her heart drops in her chest, and she wants to close her eyes so that she doesn’t have to register who has just sit down at the other end of the bar.

Vanessa.

It seems that Brooke can’t come to Ralph’s without seeing her anymore.

Brooke can’t tear her eyes away, unable to pull her gaze from the other surgeon in a tan jumpsuit and with waves cascading down her back. She’s laughing, making enough noise with the cardiothoracic surgeons that Brooke has to wonder how she didn’t spot her as soon as she had walked in.

Vanessa flags down the bartender, batting her eyelids and tilting her head and from the way that the female bartender leans on the counter, flirts back, Brooke knows that it’s going to be on the house.

The knife in her chest twists a little bit more, hitting a few more veins, making a few more cuts. Not that it matters.

Brooke is a sucker for punishment, a real lover of making herself feel like shit because she can’t help the way that her eyes drag back towards Vanessa every couple minutes. She looks so carefree and happy, joking around with the other cardiac doctors and does she have her arm around the waist of one of them?

Vanessa’s so good at making herself at home, no matter the situation that she’s in. She’d been the same way back when they were in school, and Brooke can see that nothing’s changed. She’s like a flame burning bright, drawing everyone in towards her like moths that are mesmerized by her light. Her smiles light up her entire face, and Brooke has to ignore the incessant pangs in her stomach reminding her that she’s not the one who is causing them.

Vanessa’s fine. Vanessa gets through things, Brooke can see that. She can emerge unscathed and continue to shine, continue to climb up, up, up. She’s not haunted by regrets or things from her past. She knows when to cut off thorns that wrap around her limbs and try to bring her down. Ones like Brooke.

Brooke gets it. Maybe she deserves it. Because Vanessa clearly knows what she wants, and knows that she deserves better. Someone more than Brooke, who can give her love and light and not dysfunction and vicious cycles that only seem to end in destruction.

Brooke can’t hold Vanessa back anymore. Maybe she’s not meant for it, for anything that can crack her heart open. She had been doing so well, keeping things casual with a few women. No strings attached, no possibility of feelings being developed if she never learned their full names or anything about them. No attachments had meant no chance of those attachments being ripped from her.

Maybe that’s what she should go back to. Maybe it’s the only thing that she deserves now.

There’s no angel whispering in Brooke’s ear to stop her from going to chat up a girl (a nurse? a unit clerk?) towards the end of the night a few hours later, one whom she’s fucked before and is always willing for some time in the on call room. Perhaps there’s a little tug in her chest whispering that this girl isn’t Vanessa, won’t ever live up to Vanessa, but she ignores it. Because Vanessa isn’t hers, never will be hers, not anymore. Not for the last eleven years.

Maybe some quick fucks are all that Brooke is going to get now. She used to be happy with it, encouraged it even, before Vanessa walked into the hospital on her first day and disrupted her carefully crafted life and left her to salvage the broken pieces.

And salvage she will. Brooke can go back to it, because it’s what worked, it’s what she deserves. She doesn’t have Vanessa anymore.

Brooke doesn’t look up as she leaves to see if Vanessa notices her walk by, her hand on the girl’s back guiding her outside to a waiting Uber. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t. She can go back to her routine, back to not caring, not getting invested. Vanessa isn’t her problem anymore.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #hospital au #holtzmanns #nobody knows where we might end up

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 5 years

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Pixar Films

I dislike Disney as an entity; it is an evil corporate conglomerate that makes focus-grouped schlock to appeal to as wide an audience as possible at the detriment of story. That said, Pixar was once the greatest animation studio on the planet.

Keep in mind, these are movies for kids, so anything negative I say will almost certainly be rebutted with “you’re just old and you don’t like Disney because it’s popular and you’re a hipster and you’re not even the target audience anyway so shut up.” I’m just giving my two cents, whatever that’s worth.

I’m not gonna rate them on a number scale, I’ll just tell you how much I would or would not recommend watching them. Some are must-see-cinema, others are bland and skippable affairs that you should not feel obligated to watch just because it has the Pixar brand on it.

Let’s start from the very beginning (a very good place to start)

Toy Story (1995) Groundbreaking, the first feature length 3D animated movie, spectacular cast, great story, though a little wonky by today’s standards both in the visuals (though that’s just a product of the times) and in the characterization (Woody is kinda of a jerk in this one; he was worse during pre-production, so this is the tame version). Pixar started off on the right foot. Would Recommend

A Bug’s Life (1998) This has some flaws, but is still a really fun movie. Not as good as Toy Story, but infinitely better than Dreamworks’ knockoff Antz. Great ensemble, memorable characters and set pieces, really funny. Would Probably Recommend

Toy Story 2 (1999) An excellent sequel, they knocked it out of the park with this one. It’s surprisingly deep, exploring concepts like the inevitability of change; nothing lasts forever, you can’t keep kicking the can down the road forever. The journey is finite, but that doesn’t make it worthless. Would Definitely Recommend.

Monsters, Inc. (2001) To date, their best original movie, maybe even better than Toy Story 2. Everything about it is perfect; John Goodman and Billy Crystal have great chemistry, Steve Buscemi plays the perfect sleaze, Boo is just adorable, it’s an excellent movie. Would Definitely Recommend.

Finding Nemo (2003) This is a beautiful movie; they had to invent new animation techniques to make it look this good, new ways for light to bounce and diffuse through the fishy medium. Amazing story, absolutely heart wrenching at points, hilarious at others, without feeling tonally dissonant. Would Definitely Recommend.

The Incredibles (2004) Another home run, they’re just showing off at this point. This is a much deeper and arguably darker story than any of their previous films. It doesn’t pull any punches and explores adult concepts like mid-life crises, extramarital affairs, death (oh, so much death; red shirt mooks and civilians alike). This may be my favorite (definitely top 3; I’ll expand the list below). Would Definitely Recommend.

Cars (2006) A competent movie, though by Pixar standards it’s not quite up to snuff. Not bad, by any means, but this one is the most blatant cash grab of them all, just a commercial for hot wheels and die-cast toys. I have a soft spot for it because this is the one I’ve seen the most; my mom would turn on this DVD to keep my baby sisters occupied, so it was literally always playing in our house. That said, I’m not nostalgia blind; it has good parts, but it’s not great. Would Probably Not Recommend.

Ratatouille (2007) C’est Magnifique! Patton Oswalt does a fantastic job, I identify with Linguini on a spiritual level, the human characters are all perfectly demented and the rats are equally so. I love this moral; anyone can be successful, it’s about who you are not where you come from. Funny and relatable, an all around feel-good movie. Would Definitely Recommend.

WALL-E (2008) Top 3, hands down, this is a true work of art, a modern masterpiece. A film mostly devoid of dialogue, it expresses so much emotion from how the characters carry themselves and react physically to their surroundings. The body language, the color choices, the camera work (especially in the space dance sequence), just how RAW everything is, how grounded it feels, how fleshed out these little robots are.. I Cannot Recommend This Enough, Watch it Right Now. Now. Why Are You Still Reading This? Now! Go Watch it Then Come Back. Even if You’ve Already Seen it, Go Watch it Again.

Up (2009) Another near perfect installment under Pixar’s belt. They’ve really nailed the art of opening scenes; Carl and Ellie’s love story moves me to tears, it is so beautifully portrayed. Some of the characters can be a tad annoying and overly cutesy to sell merchandise, but the story never suffers from it. The villain actually feels like a threat, there are stakes, and the image of a house sitting by a waterfall and the story connotations thereof are indescribably bittersweet. Would Definitely Recommend

Toy Story 3 (2010) This is is sort of hit or miss. It’s a very well made movie, and an excellent CONCLUSION to the Toy Story franchise (Conclusion: noun, the end or finish of an event or process). I liked it, felt it really wrapped things up in a satisfactory way, but it’s not better than Toy Story 2 in my mind. I feel like this was a turning point for Pixar; after this, they were never quite the same, never really bounced back. May or May Not Recommend, I’m on the Fence

Cars 2 (2011) You don’t give the comedy relief their own movie. That’s storytelling 101; the comic relief bit-character can rarely stand on their own and meaningfully carry a story, though corporations are laughing all the way to the bank as I say this because these types of movies keep making boatloads of money even if they suck. Minions made bookoo bucks, the Pirates of the Caribbean series is still ongoing despite the loss of Bloom and Knightly (and bringing them back for the last one doesn’t really count because Depp is still the main character), Cars 2 is a corporate cash grab, and devoid of artistic merit; this is my first hard no. Would NOT Recommend.

Brave (2012) This is not a Pixar film, it is a Disney film that they decided to make under Pixar’s name instead because they knew Pixar had enough good will and positive connotations to get people into seats regardless of story. It’s not terrible, but it’s not great. That’s the story of modern Disney; not terrible, not great, just okay because that’s all it needs to be. People will watch it no matter what, so they put in the bare minimum amount of effort so nobody can say they suck at making movies again (because for the longest time in the early 2000s, they did suck; Dinosaurs, Home on the Range, Chicken Little). Would Not Recommend.

Monsters University (2013) Why did you do this, Pixar? Why did you take one of your best movies and do this specifically to it? Nobody asked for this, nobody wanted this. I can only applaud them for having integrity enough to NOT give people what they wanted; people wanted a sequel, and that would have bee terrible. You can’t follow up on Monsters, Inc, it had a perfect ending, it was hopeful and heart warming and definitive. A prequel is the only thing they could have made without messing up the ending of the original, so I’ll give them some credit for that. It’s not good. Would Not Recommend.

Inside Out (2015) Their best one since Toy Story 3. Not terrible, I actually liked a lot of things about this one. I like it when Pixar takes on more serious subject matter, and I thought they did a good job exploring how a kid would react to such a drastic lifestyle change. The cast was good, the animation was fun (inside Riley’s head; outside was generic and samey). Not bad Pixar, not bad at all. Would Probably Recommend.

The Good Dinosaur (2015) It doesn’t matter what i think because this movie still made hundreds of millions of dollars. Disney is losing no sleep over this. Would NOT Recommend.

Finding Dory (2016) Again with the continuations! This was better than Monsters University, but the original was still such a hard act to follow. It had potential, and I liked how it respectably handled mental illness in a way that was easy for kids to understand without dumbing it down and underplaying its significance in the lives of those who it effects. I think Marlin kinda regressed, having to relearn what he already learned in the first one. The hardest I laughed was during the climax, the truck chase scene, “It’s a Wonderful World,” just amazing. Would Probably Not Recommend

Cars 3 (2017) I hope Disney was happy with this end product. I hope the producers really enjoyed cashing their toy checks for this one. I thought it was worse than Cars 2, but I can see why some people might like it more. Either way, it’s worse than Cars 1, which wasn’t particularly great anyway. Would NOT Recommend.

Coco (2017) I’m on the fence with this one. It was beautifully made, and the songs made me cry, but it’s hard for me to look at this movie without judging it as a product made by a focus group of mostly white people. By itself it’s a good movie, but when you know how the Disney sausage is made it feels disingenuous and calculated. Might Recommend, But it Had Some Baggage

The Incredibles 2 (2018) I am Boo Boo the Fool, Pixar suckered me and I fell for it. I was legitimately enthusiastic for this one because the original is one of their best, and unlike Monsters, Inc it actually left room for a sequel. It had so much potential, and big shoes to fill, and it did so in the most generic Disney way it could. Like Brave it wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. Middle of the road, some things were fun, others made little sense, it was “appealing” in that it literally appealed to as wide an audience as it could without alienating anyone by doing anything particularly risky. I liked Voyd, I liked how Helen became the main character, I liked the villain twist; I did not like how easy it was to make superheroes legal again. It felt like it was tacked on at the end, like he just says “and there we have it, they’re legal again, congratulations,” like he was announcing the winner of the Price is Right. Would Probably Not Recommend

Toy Story 4 (2019) I want to be clear that I made a point not to pay money to see many of the previous films on this list. If I thought they were going to suck, I waited until a friend bought it and saw it with them for free. This one, though, I was forced to pay for because my mom insisted on seeing it in theaters as a family. It wasn’t terrible. Wasn’t great. Wash, rinse, repeat. It was the same villain again; Stinky Pete, Lotso, Gabby-Gabby... I can’t wait for the fifth one where the villain is an old toy who is mad because they weren’t played with. Buzz was made much dumber for this one, and I felt they didn’t do enough with Forky. I was excited to see how they handled the existential aspects of the series; what makes a toy? How are toys sentient? Why are toys sentient? In the first movie Woody implied that there were rules that toys were honor bound to follow, so what is stopping Forky from blowing their cover on accident? None of these questions were answered. I liked Keanu Reeves, I didn’t like Key and Peele. Would Probably Not Recommend.

The mighty have fallen. It’s just sad.

”Onward” looks kinda dumb, like a kiddy version of the flop Will Smith movie “Bright.” I have no faith in this production company anymore, but I’m sure it will make hundreds of millions of dollars; the cast are fan favorites, including Disney’s favorite topical pet celebrities (because let’s be honest, Disney basically owns Tom Holland at this point. Whether they own Spider-Man or not, they own Tom Holland, he is theirs, his soul contractually belongs to them).

Speaking of souls, ”Soul” will probably go over well with critics, though I can’t help but notice that their main character of color is transformed into a non-human for most of the movie. Again. I’m also not a fan of this one-word naming convention Disney has fallen into in the last decade. “Brave” was originally titled “the Bear and the Bow,” but one-word titles seem to test well with kids. Hopefully this will pass, but I’m not holding my breath.

I’m swearing off Disney movies, firsthand. I might catch them second hand, through friends or other means, but I refuse to give this corporate conglomerate one more penny. They basically own Hollywood, so my money will eventually make my way into their pockets, I just want to put as much distance between them and myself as possible. No more Pixar, no more Star Wars, no more Marvel, no more Disney. I am one drop in the bucket, I will not be missed, and they will not be affected in the slightest by my absence, but I need to prove to myself that I have integrity enough not to keep funneling my hard earned cash into a trillion dollar snack company.

Disney movies are snacks, not meals. And I’m going on a diet.

Anyway, here’s my top three:

Monsters, Inc

The Incredibles

WALL-E

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bbrandy2002 · 5 years

Text

The Breakfast Club

Chapter 9:

Don't You Forget About Me.

Summary: The group has an epiphany. Who really put them together and why? Constantine ensures one member of the group won't be a problem anymore.

One more chapter!!!

The Royal Romance AU

Warning: These characters have potty mouths, read at your own peril. They also belong to Pixelberry.

Henry David Thoreux is quoted as saying, 'Not until we are lost do we find ourselves'. How can five people with differing life experiences, walk into a room as wounded, forgotten souls, and together, discover who they are. If ever the fates aligned, it happened on that particular Saturday. _

Life sometimes gives us what we need... Through hardships we find growth

Saturday 4:00 PM Old Palace Library

Sitting on the floor of the old library, an 18 year old with a cold heart and distaste for the crown. His father gunned down years ago by an assasin's bullet and a mother who left he and his sister, to return to the States. A war was waged in him years ago and bitterness won. All he knew now was trouble, booze and anger. He is the commoner.

Sitting to his left is the stunning Duchess of Lythikos. Nearly 18 herself, she has been raised by the King since she was a child. Her parents, traitors to the crown, died atempting to overthrow the monarchy. Contantine has always treated her like an enemy and took every opportunity to degrade her. The only constant in her life was a prince, whom she loves, but, he has never returned her affections in a manner she wants. She has built an impermiable wall of defense around herself for protection, that includes degrading others for self-preservation. She is known as the bitch to many.

Next to her, a young 17 year old from Ramsford with a heart of gold and the life of any party. On the outside, he is funny, outgoing and, perhaps, too kind for his own good. On the inside, he grieves the losses in his life, both in body and spirit. His inabilty to live up to the Beaumont expectations, weighs on him heavily. He sees himself as a failure.

Also, the new Crown Prince of Cordonia. He will be 18 tomorrow and at that time will become bethrothed to his brother's former fiancee, though, his heart now belongs to another. He has wished death would find him so many times recently that he tried and failed to make it a reality. The burdens that he was left with when his brother abdicated, is too much to bear. His father has caused irreparable hurt, physically and emotionally, that fear, now courses through his veins like wildfire. There are no disappointments allowed when you're The Heir.

Next to him, a perky, 17 year old girl, saved from the streets. She has big dreams of moving to New York and making it big. She is held back by a dangerous, family life that included more abuse than many should withstand. Is a girl with her background, naive enough to believe she can save her new dream from being robbed of his? After all, its said that trash breeds trash.

"Why is everyone sitting on the floor?", a seemingly gleeful and renewed Liam asked as he joined them.

A weary eyed Drake rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, "Trust me...its a long story".

Riley leaned over and playfully tugged at Drake's foot, "You seem somewhat calmer than you did earlier, what happened?".

Maxwell couldn't help himself as he grinned, "Let's just say....well....we got totally fucked up."

Liam and Riley looked between the three, all appearing quite relaxed, still eating on the last remnants of sandwiches and fruit the maid brought them an hour ago.

Olivia, now recovered from her earlier high, couldn't help but notice a change in Liam. Knowing he was with Riley the past four hours left a sour taste in her mouth.

"So Riley", Olivia began, "Maxwell tells us he found you on the streets...will you be returning to your park bench tonight or do you think fucking Liam once is enough for another free night at the palace".

"Olivia!", Liam, quickly shot up, dumbfounded by her callousness.

Olivia looked at him with shock, "What? Hmm, Liam...she's obviously looking for a meal ticket and you are falling right into her grubby little hands".

"You're such a bitch!" A furious Riley yelled back, both fists gripped tightly together.

"Damn straight", she sniped.

Drake laid back on the floor with his hands cupped behind his head, "You just can't stop yourself can you Olivia?"

She raised an eyebrow and straightened her posture, "Who asked you...like your opinion matters anyway".

The air became thick with tension and poisonous words. Olivia was hurting and holding on for dear life. The only person who ever seemed to give a damn about her was slipping away fast.

A normally flippant Maxwell, tried to find a balance, an understanding of what was taking place. "Olivia, why do you berate everyone? Riley's never done anything to you".

Her beady, green eyes readily placed a target directly on him, "Like I care what some moron like you thinks. When you have to deal with the bullshit I go through everyday, then by all means judge away, until then, fucking mind your own business".

Maxwell jumped up and stood with a demeanor that suggested Olivia found his breaking point. With a raised voice and a face painted as red as her hair, "The bullshit you deal with? Your bullshit?...What about my bullshit? What about Drake and Liam and Riley's bullshit? Are you so fucking closed off and hardened, that you don't see we're all dealing with nothing but bullshit?...I have two dead parents, just like you, and a brother who has a stick so far up his ass...", his voice started to break as he rubbed a stinging tear from his eye, "...just...quit acting like its only you".

Riley stood up and gave Maxwell a comforting embrace, while Drake continued to lay back, eyes closed, struggling with his own thoughts.

Liam noted Olivia's composure, she was tense and hollow, but, her eyes spoke volumes. She was fighting herself, the walls were crumbling and she was trying with all of her might to keep them standing. If there was ever a time to get into her heart, it was now.

Liam raised his knees and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin down. "We're supposed to write an essay about who we think we are....well, who are we? I sure as hell don't know who I am anymore...looking around at each of you and hearing Maxwell's words, tells me no one else does either".

Riley and Maxwell sat back down with the group, everyone except Drake pondering Liam's words in their minds, but, no one speaking.

Liam raised his head again and lowered his legs, crossing them in front of him. "Okay, I'll go first then....I'm suffocating, I'm losing my mind, at the end of a short rope. I hate my father, my life...who I have to be", he stopped for a second to prepare himself for what followed, "I wanted to die last night, even tried swallowing pills".

He grabs everyone's attention, including Olivia who saw him this morning, at the mention of the prince trying to commit suicide. "Yeah... I wanted it all to end...I just needed, peace".

Drake sits up, claps his hands mockingly and glares at Liam, "Boo..fucking.. hoo..must be real hard to have the entire damn country bowing at your ever present whim...so spare me the sob stories your majesty".

Olivia raises her hand back and slaps Drake across the face, screaming, "You weren't there this morning....you don't know what happens to him, to me... every day is a nightmare where the King dictates who we are or else."

Drake rubs the stinging on his reddened cheeks, seething, "Yeah, you’re right, I wasn't there, I was stuck in a damn basement apartment alone because my father died protecting your sorry, rich ass's and my mother lost her mind because of it"

Dead air filled the room.

"Sounds like your dad was a hero Drake...my real dad bailed before I was even born", Riley mused.

"Yeah Drake, at least your dad didn't die on a friggin boat with a cocaine stained nose, partying his ass off, while your mother was at home dying....it sucks I know, but, of the five of us, your dad was... pretty awesome", Maxwell said with a sympathetic smile.

A hero_? _That word caused a flood of emotions that ran straight to his yielded heart. He was breaking down too, especially when he caught a glimpse of Liam, a member of the royal family, nodding in agreement, showing genuine appreciation for Jackson Walker.

He ran a hand through his hair and held onto it with a tight grip. He tried to hold the moisture that formed like pools in his flustered, brown eyes, but, they poured out anyway. Even Olivia looked at him, envious of the legacy Jackson left for Drake and his sister to be proud of. No one else in the room could say the same of their fathers.

Drake covered his eyes and sniffled loudly, his lips quivering uncontrollably, "I miss my dad", he wailed out.

Maxwell and Riley quickly went to him, rubbing and patting him on the back. Liam crawled over to Drake, holding his head to his chest.

Liam looked at him while Drake tried to stifle his sobs. "Drake, I'd like to personally thank, on behalf of myself and the crown, the son of the man who saved me and my families life".

Drake had held his feelings in for so long, it felt surprisingly gratifying to finally release them. He thought to himself-_Fucking Bastien was right. _He lifted himself up, with everyone except Olivia following his lead. He wiped his wet face on the inside of shirt, "It's all I ever wanted, just someone to appreciate him...to care about what he did". Liam then pulled him into a hug, "I do Drake, I really do", as he clapped his back.

Drake returned a half smile, looking away for moment before turning to face Liam again, "You're already ten times the King your father is.".

Drake inhaled deeply and asked for a minute alone. He walked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step attempting to make sense of everything that just happened.

Olivia, remained still, then grabbed her purse and followed him. She sat down next to him, but, he didn't acknowledge her presence. She reached inside her purse and took Drake's hand. He watched as she slowly dropped his fathers pocket watch into his palm.

Stunned, he stared at her in disbelief, "how did you...?"

She looked off in the distance, sighing, before meeting his bewildered look, "A courier dropped it off yesterday. It was found in an alley and had the Royal crest on it. Constantine didn't know who it belonged to and tossed it aside, but, I did....I took it and was going to use it against you".

He looked at the watch, clutching it with both hands as if his life depended on, "That's a real fucked up thing to do, even for you".

She swallowed hard, "Yeah...it is...I'm sorry".

Drake quirked his brows, "Did I really just get the Duchess of Lythikos to apologize to a poor commoner like me?".

She smiled and playfully swiped at his arm, "Yes, but, don't expect any more". She then leaned over, speaking in a low voice, "Can I tell you something?".

Drake squinted his eyes, skeptical, "What?"

Olivia looked around, "I actually had a lot of fun with you today, even when you were an asshole....banter aside, I can't say I've ever been on a drug run, climbed in an air duct, fallen through the ceiling and then got very....very stoned", she chortled.

He chuckled back, "Yeah, I never expected to do any of those things, especially with you".

"Walker?", she asked, "am I anything besides a bitch...I mean, who do I say I am?".

He thought for a moment before cracking a smile at her, "You're still a bitch....but, like a bad ass, take no prisoners kind, but, you're also one tough girl...you have to deal with a lot of Constantine's shit...that take's guts.".

She stood up, absorbing his words, "I was told as little girl...If you can breathe, you can stand and if you can stand, you can fight....So, I will just keep on fighting", she smiled, ruffled his hair and walked back upstairs.

Drake shook his head in disbelief, "unbelieveable", he said to himself as his enemy just became a friend. He followed her back up.

Liam came up behind Olivia and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. He knew what she had just done for Drake and was proud of her. He asked her to apologize to Riley, in which she hesitated. "She's the one Livvie", he told her. The words stung, but, she was also glad to see him happy for once..

Olivia apologized and she and Riley sat together talking about make up and different hairstyles Riley could try. She told her she was returning to Lythikos soon and if she ever needed anything to let her know.

Drake and Maxwell caught Liam up on why there was a hole in the ceiling. They each would reminisce about their childhood adventures together. Every now and then, Liam would peak over at Riley, just to see her.

The group made their way down the steps and gathered around Liam, sitting at a table, preparing to write the letter. He looked up at them, "So, who do we say we are?".

Maxwell slumped over on the table, "It's been a long day, I just wanna be Maxwell."

They each looked at one another and knew what they wanted.

"I'm just Riley".

"I guess, I'm just Olivia".

"Drake"

Liam penned it down to the letter, "and I just want to be Liam".

Olivia watched as Riley and Liam sat together, canoodling, as she described it. Drake came up behind her and placed both hands on her shoulders, tugging them. She looked at him with a sad face. "Come on, you can sit with me and Maxwell", he said as he pulled her over to another table.

Some time had passed when the door opened and Bastien walked in. They were all surprised to learn that this whole thing was not actually Constantine's doing, but, he and Regina's. The kids were falling apart and they thought they could use time together, helping one another, in a way an adult couldn't. Apparently, their plan worked.

"Real fucking sneaky Bas", Drake said as he pulled him into hug, "does this mean I don't have seven weekends of guard duty with the ass clown you sent in here to watch us?"

"We'll see", he chuckled.

Everyone made their way out of the library, with Liam stopping Riley in the hallway. "Hey you".

"Hey you", she replied while pulling him to her.

"I have to go speak with my father, but, I'll meet you at the garden maze in twenty minutes, okay?"

She stood on her tipped toes and kissed him, "Don't you forget about me", she teased.

They parted ways and she made it to the palace entrance. She was met by two officers and a guard, looking specifically for her.

The officer approached her, "Riley Brooks?"

She wanted to lie, but, they obviously knew it was her. She let a shaky response, "yes".

The officer grabbed her and placed her under arrest, "we received word from His Majesty that you are a runaway who snuck into the palace".

Riley tried to explain to them that she was invited by Maxwell and that the Prince knows her, however, it fell on deaf ears.

Constantine met them at the door, with a scour look. He walked up to her, glared at her for what seemed to be hours for Riley, then smacked her in the face. "Don't you ever think about coming back here again.... or you will be sorry."

He motioned for the officers to take her away.

She cried out, "please dont send me back, he'll kill me....please....Liam!!!".

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