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#and i love my longer fics. but the time i take writing/editing them is so much longer than i'd like it to
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𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭: 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰
I originally wrote this for my OC, based on this video my friend Mah (@midnightmah07) sent me! I decided to make it a x Reader, so that everyone can enjoy it (and because I love this fic lol) but if you want to read the original, you can find it here! ♡ Enjoy! ♡
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⋆ The Pop Music Club was sitting in their club room, eating snacks as they talked. They had a show coming up in a few weeks, and were debating on what to perform. There were certain songs they would always play, but this time they wanted to do something different, to really make the show stand out. Lilia suggested they try a new genre, while Kalim suggested they incorporate a new instrument. Cater didn’t really have any suggestions, scrolling through Magicam for inspiration. While scrolling he comes across a new post from you, a smile coming to his face as he likes it.
⋆ As he continues scrolling he comes across fan edits, dancing videos, comedy skits, memes. He was about to switch apps when he comes across a post, a girl gushing about how her partner wrote a song for her, as a surprise for her birthday. The post includes a short clip of them singing to her, the girl standing there in shock for a moment before looking like she could cry. In the comments everyone talked about how romantic it was, some saying how they wished they had a partner like that.
⋆ A sudden thought occurs to him, looking up from his phone and turning towards the others as he suggests, “Why don’t we try writing our own songs?” Kalim and Lilia look to each other for a moment before agreeing, the two of them excited at the idea of writing their own song. After eating a few more snacks and talking for a little bit longer, they go their separate ways, each of them needing to have a song written for their next club meeting.
⋆ Cater stretched in his desk chair, sighing. He had been staring at his computer for a few hours now, a blank word document in front of him. He kept thinking and trying yet a song just wouldn’t come to him, getting up from his chair. He grabs his phone and earbuds before moving to lay on his bed, needing a break. He scrolls through Magicam as he listens to music, liking and sharing certain posts. He sees a post from the bakery in the village near Night Raven, announcing new items they would be adding to their menu soon. One of the items is a dessert that seems to be trending right now, everyone talking about how good it is.
⋆ He smiles as his mind immediately goes to you, knowing how much you like sweets. Without thinking he shares the post with you, sending another message right after that asking if you’d like to go with him when the bakery debuts their new desserts. It takes a few minutes before you respond, but your reaction was what he expected, telling him you would love to go with him and how excited you were to try the desserts. Your message had a mix of heart emojis throughout it, something you always did. Their was one particular heart emoji you seemed to use more than the others, Cater putting it next to your name in his phone. He did it because the heart emoji reminded him of you, that’s all. There was no other reason. (At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself)
⋆ It’s a few days later when the bakery debuts their new desserts, Cater waking up early knowing how busy they will be. You were already waiting for him outside campus, standing at the entrance gates. You were dressed more casually than usual, no longer wearing the uniform he was used to. He couldn’t help but stare, thinking how good you looked. You ran over to him as soon as you noticed him, thanking him again for inviting you. Cater wasn’t paying attention as you continued to talk, eyes focused on your mouth. There was just something about that lip balm you wore that he was drawn to, tempting him. It makes him want to…
⋆ He shakes his head, stopping himself from continuing that thought. You made your way to the bakery, talking and laughing as you walked. As you pass by a house Cater catches a glimpse of your reflection in the window, the sight almost making him stop. He never thought about how you held hands whenever you go somewhere, enjoying having you close. But seeing your reflection, your hands linked together as you talked, he couldn’t help but think…
We look like a couple
⋆ It doesn’t help that others would mistake you as such, strangers calling you his partner or his dorm mates telling him to enjoy his “date”. Trey had even complimented his appearance that morning, asking him what he was dressed up for. They’re wrong, Cater thinks. We’re just friends. Yet, the idea of you being “just friends” hurt, Cater choosing not to linger on it.
⋆ There was already a line when you got to the bakery, having to wait around fifteen minutes before you could enter. Cater’s attention was drawn to the dessert that was trending, ordering it to take a picture for his Magicam. You went to order one as well before Cater stopped you, reminding you that you could just eat his. You laughed, saying you forgot and thanking him. Once he got the dessert you went to sit outside, not wanting to stay in with how packed it was.
⋆ It was a nice day out, the table he chose giving you a nice view. Cater took the dessert out of it’s container, setting it up so that it looked good. He used the natural lighting to help take his photo, immediately uploading it to Magicam. When he looked up from his phone he noticed you sitting across from him, eyeing the dessert eagerly. His heart raced as he told you he just needed to take one more photo before you could dig in, focusing on you rather than the dessert as he took it. As soon as he said you could eat it, you started digging in, looking happy due to how good it was.
⋆ You stayed there for a while, Cater scrolling through his phone as you ate, talking and laughing in between. Whenever Cater saw a video or a meme he knew you would like, he would hold his phone out to you, watching as you tried not to choke on the dessert while laughing. Before you went your separate ways Cater gave you a hug, thanking you for coming with him. You hugged him back, telling him that you should be the one thanking him, considering he paid for the dessert. You promise to treat him next time as you wave goodbye, Cater watching you go before heading back to Heartslabyul.
⋆ As soon as he got back Ace was there, a teasing grin on his face as he asked how his “date” went. Cater gave him a look, used to his behavior as he tells him it wasn’t a date. After a moment he goes on, letting him know he had a good time, and that the dessert seems to be worth the hype. He heads to his room, running into Deuce along the way. He too asks how his “date” went, though his question seemed more genuine, Cater not having the heart to correct him. He breathes a sigh of relief once he’s inside, immediately laying in his bed.
⋆ He did his best to relax, mind racing as he pulled up the picture he took of you earlier. It had turned out better than he thought, your eyes lit up as you looked at the dessert on the table. You looked almost like you were glowing with how the sun hit your face, your hands clapped together in excitement. You looked so happy, so cute. He had to resist the urge to make it his phone background, shaking his head. He sat his phone on his chest, holding his arm over his eyes. He just needed to calm down, everything would be alright. You guys were friends, you were only hanging out. You weren’t dating, you weren’t his partner, he wasn’t…
He wasn’t…
“I’m not in love with them” he mutters to himself, though his racing heart wants to prove him wrong.
⋆ It’s in this moment that he realizes what he wants his song to be about, slowly getting up and moving to his desk. He writes what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, using it as inspiration. After having to edit and rewrite it a few times he was finally happy with it, realizing how late it was when he checked his phone.
⋆ At their next club meeting Cater bursts into the club room, presenting the song he had written. Lilia gave him a knowing look as he read the lyrics, Kalim complimenting him on how good it was. After talking some more and discussing the songs Lilia and Kalim had written, they decided to perform the song Cater wrote, with him singing the lead vocals. As it got closer to their show date they began advertising it, posting on their socials and putting up flyers around campus. You even made a post on your Magicam about it, encouraging anyone who could to attend. You texted Cater the night before the show, telling him how excited you were, and wishing them good luck. He tried not to think about how it made his heart skip a beat.
⋆ The night of their show the Pop Music Club was buzzing with excitement, a fairly large crowd coming to see them. As they went on stage Cater’s eyes were drawn towards the front, right where you stood in the crowd. You waved at him, mouthing good luck as he gave you a small wave back. They did their usual introduction, playing some of the songs they were known for before playing the one Cater wrote near the end. He did his best to focus on different parts of the crowd as he sang, but he couldn’t help how he would always go back to you, locking eyes with you more than once.
You’re always on my mind I think about you all the time Um, no Let’s not talk about it Drama, we can live without it Catch a wave if we’re bored There’s a clock we’ll ignore Find a way around it Hey, I can tell there’s something Even when you say it’s nothing When you’re playing with your hair Like you just don’t care It’s a tell you’re bluffing Now please don’t take this the wrong way I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love Well it’s not a love song, not a love song I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song, not a love song I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love The way you sing it, Put me through it I guess I always knew it (I always knew) I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song (not a love song) Not a love song (I know it’s not a love song)
Bonus scene:
⋆ After their show the boys headed backstage, ecstatic by how well their performance had gone. Lilia turns to Cater, a knowing smile on his face as he informs him, “You do realize that was a love song you wrote, don’t you Cater?”
Cater stumbles for a moment, laughing awkwardly as he shakes his head. “It totally wasn’t! I don’t know where you got that idea from, Lilia!”
Lilia eyes shine with amusement at his response, asking, “Oh, really? Can I ask what the inspiration was for the song, then? Perhaps, you had someone in mind…?”
Cater was quiet after that, knowing his response wouldn’t help his case. He couldn’t say that he wrote the song thinking of you, after all. ♡
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𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡
39 notes · View notes
pbpsbff · 1 month
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my adoring fans do u guys prefer shorter fics (1-3k) that come out more frequently or longer fics (4k+) that take longer to put out
24 notes · View notes
simpjaes · 4 months
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serial-sweetheart (s.jy & p.sh)
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Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Sunghoon came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Jake, has a bit of a thing for you? 
MDNI!!
WORDCOUNT― 23.6k
PAIRING― shy jake x afab reader | sunghoon x  afab reader
CONTENT― sunghoon and reader are 24, jake is 21. boyfriend sunghoon, perverted/shy college boy jake, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy jake, dom-ish sunghoon in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of heeseung raging at jake through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao
WARNINGS― infidelity that doesn’t get exposed, foot job but only bc i can’t figure out how to write a scene like this if it’s not your foot lmao, there are intimate things happening between reader and jake in like, almost every fuckin scene.
NOTE― if you’ve read this before, it’s because i wrote it for a different band on my other blog(@/ncteez). this is a revamp of that fic, freshly edited and updated. 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― infidelity,  rough sunghoon, jake listens through the walls, tons of masturbation, he also steals panties and gets caught and embarrassed by reader, mentions of double penetration, lil under the table moment with jake, foot job but i swear im not into feet just hear me out ok? It’s brief i swear, sexting and phone sex, reach-around hand job, jake isn’t entirely subby when he finally gets his dick wet, penetration, pet names, sexting, g-spot stimulation, cream pie, unprotected sex, 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The two years you’ve spent so far with Sunghoon can arguably be considered the best of your life. He’s accommodating, listens to all of your problems, touches you in all of the right ways, and he’s even well-liked by your parents. You love your boyfriend enough to spend countless nights at his place just to get away from your own. It’s comfortable there, and feels like home, whereas your own apartment just feels empty without him. 
The relationship felt very adult. He was the first boyfriend to stay with you longer than a couple of months, the first one to have his own house, job, money, and car. The two of you were equal, comfortable, and happily in love. Anyone could trust that both of you were running towards the path of marriage, and you’d agree with them if it weren’t for the fact that your eye is dangerously close to landing on someone else lately.
In your defense, your eyes didn’t linger before Jake, Sunghoon’s younger brother, moved in. You had no interest in anyone aside from Sunghoon but, Jake is really something else. Cute, loud, obnoxious, and even charming at times. Still, you’ve caught him countless times staring for too long at your legs when you wear shorts around the house, lingering in the room when Sunghoon has his lips on yours, and even stuttering through conversations with you after a wild night in the bedroom with his older brother. 
It was cute at first, but as the months went on, you started staring at Jake a little more. You’d note that he gets flustered easily but can’t bring himself to leave any given situation that causes such a reaction. He gets hard sometimes too, you can see it, and occasionally you can hear him take care of it too. 
The first night you heard it, Sunghoon was sound asleep next to you after a long, drawn-out session of putting you in your place (sexually). You were comfortable beside him, listening to his soft snores and finally settling yourself in to close your eyes and sleep too.
It was so silent, the entire house seemed as empty as it always had been outside of you and your boyfriend, except for the fact that Jake was in this house now too. You shot an eye open at the sound of a muffled moan through the wall. You could tell he tried to prevent it, noticing that it appeared to be choked back almost as quickly as he let it fall from his lips.
You laid there, first attempting to sleep but ultimately falling victim to the thoughts of what Jake must have been doing just a wall over. You felt guilty about the images, imagining how cute he must look tugging at himself and whimpering, frustrated at how he can’t make a sound. Jake knows how thin the walls are, you’re sure of it. Even you and Sunghoon have tried to be quieter so Jake doesn’t have to hear it and feel uncomfortable. 
The choked-back sounds he was letting out every few minutes only furthered your thoughts into the danger zone that night. You realized you wanted to watch him. You wanted to help him. And when Jake hit his high, you heard his bed frame hit the wall one time, hard. The image of him lying on his back and fucking against his fist was long gone and replaced with images of what position he could have been in for the bed to hit to wall like that. What was he doing? 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Good morning, sunshine!” You sing out obnoxiously to your boyfriend when he rounds the corner in a sleepy show of how much he doesn’t want to go to work today. He’s already dressed but you can see the darkened bags under his drooping, half-open eyes. 
You don’t often make breakfast for him, not that he minds at all, you just felt guilty about listening in on Jake doing his thing again last night and it’s not something you’re proud of. So yeah, maybe Sunghoon gets breakfast every time his little brother jerks off, what of it? 
“Thanks, babe,” Sunghoon smiles at you weakly, looking at the warm breakfast you place in front of him. “What if I just call in today?” He asks almost immediately after, tearing his eyes from the food and up to you, who had begun to fix a part of his hair that he seemed to have missed. 
“Up to you, I’ve gotta head back to my place soon though.” You look at him, hands on your hips now as you give him another once-over. “You look tired, maybe you should call out.” 
Sunghoon takes a moment to think. What would his excuse be to miss work on a Monday morning after already having two days off? He’s sick? That wouldn’t work, he ran into one of his bosses just the night before picking up some groceries. Car trouble? Also wouldn’t work, he used that excuse last time and he swore he took his car to the shop that very day to make sure it was in tip-top shape. Death in the family? That’s just asking for bad karma. 
“Ugh,” Sunghoon sighs, picking up his fork and picking around the plate. It looks delicious, honestly, but work is the last place he wants to go right now. “How are you so awake? We stayed up so late, are your legs even tired?”
You stop mid-step towards the fridge to grab some juice and turn to look at him. 
“Sunghoon, my legs are killing me, and it’s your fault.” 
He lets out a small laugh, giving himself a gold star for making you cum just as hard as he always did. “Yeah, guess it is my fault, isn’t it?” He prods for more compliments.
“That aside, are you going to call out or?” 
He shakes his head, taking a bite and trying his best to enjoy this last hour of freedom before a nine-hour workday. 
“No, I don’t think I’d have a good excuse today. You’re going home anyway too, I’d just be bored.”
“Umm–” Jake’s voice chimes in as he scuffs into the kitchen with socked feet. He yawns wide and side-eyes you only for a moment before flopping down on the chair next to Sunghoon with his legs spread wide. He looks like such a college boy. Looking equally as tired as your boyfriend and hair far messier, you note his side eye. “Are you saying I’m too boring to hang out with?”
You let out a small chuckle at Jake’s words, and Sunghoon just groans about it. 
“You’re still just as annoying as you’ve always been. I’d rather be wasting away at a desk than sitting here listening to you talk about the exam you’re not studying for.”
“I don’t have exams yet?” Jake protests, looking over Sunghoon's food and swiping a piece from his plate. “The semester hasn’t even started.”
“I’m preparing for what’s to come–” Sunghoon drones on in a defeated voice. 
“Fair,” Jake smiles and looks at you. “So, um, you’re going home today?”
“Yep, gotta go to work too.” You sigh, pointing towards the stove. “Want some food?” 
Jake shuffles to his feet to make himself a plate with a small “thank you”, and you can’t help but notice how disappointed he sounds that you’re going home today. 
“You’re coming over on Wednesday though, right?” Sunghoon asks, sipping the mug of coffee in front of him and finally allowing himself to enjoy the food you’ve graciously made this morning. If he’s gonna have to go to work, the least he can do is feel lucky that he’s not going in on an empty stomach. 
“What’s on Wednesday again?” You smile towards your boyfriend’s now narrowing eyes. 
“You know what Wednesday is.”
“Hm, no, don’t think I do–” Smiling wider at the way his eyes narrow even further.
“What’s Wednesday?” Jake asks, setting down his plate and taking a bite. 
“Yeah, tell him what Wednesday is.” Sunghoon says in an annoyed tone, one that you can tell is a joke. He always plays along with your antics.
“I think it’s like, national fork day or something.”
Sunghoon brings a hand to his forehead with a laugh. “Fork day? That’s all you can come up with?” 
Jake is just confused, clearly. 
“I’m joking. It’s our two-year anniversary.”
You hear a spoon clatter to the table and a small cough. 
“Ugh-” Jake groans, picking the cutlery up off the table and wiping the crumbs clean. “That’s cool.”
Jake can see the way Sunghoon looks at him with his reaction, but it genuinely wasn’t intentional. He just happened to drop his spoon at the wrong time and choke on his food. It wasn’t meant to be as dramatic as it sounded. Also, maybe he’s a little shocked that Sunghoon managed to have a girlfriend for this long with how much of a bore he can be at times. 
Especially someone like you. 
Jake feels shy at the very idea of you, not just because he’s heard what you sound like when his brother touches you, but also because you’re just, like, really pretty and it makes his thoughts go in every direction when you speak to him. 
Even now, just over a small breakfast, he’s disappointed that you have a job too. He’s sad that he can’t spend time in this house with you alone even though he knows well enough that he probably wouldn’t have it in him to approach you. 
Or does he? Knowing that from time to time, like when he first moved in, there had been some days where you stayed over and did your work-from-home stuff. He wasn’t well acquainted with you back then enough to come out and sit with you, and he’s likely not acquainted enough now either, but that doesn’t change the fact that he kind of wants to be around you without his brother taking note of the small crush he kind of maybe developed by being around you.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Today is expected to be more exciting than your last anniversary. Mostly because it’s marking a second year with Sunghoon and solidifying the fact that the two of you have made it this far without any glaring issues that could threaten the relationship. At least, no issues that Sunghoon is aware of. 
You think that these thoughts and images of Jake swimming in your head are a phase. In fact, you hope they are. There’s no way you’d ever actually go through with anything involving your boyfriend’s little brother. He’s just kind of cute to see all flustered, even cuter when he tries to hide how he’s feeling regarding you. 
Jake isn’t there when you walk through your boyfriend’s door. Unfortunately, neither is Sunghoon. 
Grabbing your phone and checking the time you’re distracted by the glaring text message from your boyfriend that seemed to have been sent some ten minutes ago as you got in your car for the drive over. A little wave of disappointment hits you as you stand alone in the darkened kitchen. 
Sunghoon: hey i’m gonna be a little late. Boss got a last minute client today, like an hour before closing time so i’m gonna be here at least until 8:30
Sunghoon: is that okay?
The disappointment fades away with how good he is at communicating with you. Your last boyfriend who you only dated for like two months always bailed without notice on dates, ghosting you for a full day or two before explaining himself with one of the same excuses Sunghoon probably uses to get out of work. You know his job is important to him, and you know the anniversary is important to him. His priority doesn’t always have to be you.
You: Yeah that’s fine. What am i supposed to do for three hours though? I’m already at your place (sparkly eye emoji)
Sunghoon is  great at texting you back too.
Sunghoon: you could get yourself ready for me to come home ;) 
You: for 3 hours?
Sunghoon: yes???? or you can just go bug Jake lol
The silence in the house tells you that Jake isn’t home.
You: he’s not here, i figured he went out to give us some privacy?
Sunghoon doesn’t respond for a few minutes, probably because he’s doing something important with his work. By the time you’ve slipped off your shoes and laid against the couch, you get the little ping on your phone..
Sunghoon: Oh, right, he was gonna go meet with some girl he was talking to. I figured he’d chicken out and not go lol, maybe we really will have the house to ourselves tonight ;)
Something inside of you twists at his message. On one hand, you’re happy that you might get the entire house with your beloved boyfriend tonight, on the other hand, you kind of don’t like the thought of Jake losing the ability to get all flustered around you if he’s got someone else doing it for him. 
Are you jealous? No, but you’re a little selfish. You always liked when men chased you even if you knew it would lead nowhere, even if they knew it would lead to nowhere. It was harmless fun, but now all of your fun is gonna be ruined. The last thing you want to be hearing is Jake railing some girl in his room while you’re trying to sleep. 
You: oh yeah? lets hope we don’t have to be quiet tonight then, i have //plans//
Sunghoon: plans? 
You: better get done with work soon so can come home and see <3
With that, you set your phone down and reach for the remote. 
Jake is out with a girl right now? Part of you wonders how he’s navigating it, or if the girl is actually into him. The images in your head are amusing until you realize that you’re not imagining him stumbling over himself with some faceless girl. You’re imagining yourself as the girl he’s out with.
Even on your anniversary, you’re bored and you’ve got some hours to kill anyway. You sort through all sorts of images in your head. From what Jake would do if you were to reject him to what he would do if you didn’t reject him. How he would act if you were leaning in to kiss him, or how he would react if you kissed his neck, started touching his stomach, trailing your hands down– straight until you’re assuming that Jake must be getting a hand job somewhere right now. A little disappointed that it’s not you, you laugh at yourself. 
Silly thoughts like these are normal and you’re sure Sunghoon has them too. Despite the fact that you’d be weirded out if it were about your little sister if you had one. You’re not hurting anyone passing the time and thinking about how things would go with Jake. Surely not. It’s just a fantasy and nothing more. 
It will never be anything more.
Besides, Sunghoon was never shy toward you. Always shooting his shot in charming and convincing ways that have managed to lead to a two-year relationship that’s still going strong. He didn’t leave as much to the imagination at the beginning of your relationship, nor does he now. You can’t even imagine Sunghoon being insecure or lacking confidence in anything he does, but then there’s Jake. The little brother appears to live in the shadow of Sunghoon. From Jake attending college for the same thing to wanting the same woman that Sunghoon is in love with.
Are you too full of yourself for chuckling about that? Laughing at the fact that he’s so entirely different from your boyfriend but that’s the exact reason you find yourself fantasizing about the ‘what if’s’ with him? 
Now the thought of what Jake would do if he knew you were thinking about him this way infiltrates your mind. Would he panic? Surely. Would he blush? Oh yeah, for sure. Would he try to play it off as a joke until realizing you’re serious, visibly shivering as you watch him imagine? Oh– would he tell Sunghoon? Would he get cocky? So many thoughts that are both scary, cute, and…hot. 
You look at the clock on your phone again and realize how slowly the time is passing. Jake’s out getting tugged at by some girl, Sunghoon is at work being an obedient employee, and what are you doing? Sitting on the couch in a daze.
Glancing around a bit, you shake your head at a specific thought. 
Jake’s room.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Against your better judgment and several hours on hand to spend, you find yourself in Jake’s room. Because of course you do. 
 You don’t know why your legs carry you here, but then again you kind of do. Curiosity. You don’t really plan on snooping or anything, you just kind of want to see how he lives when he’s by himself. You want to see if he made his bed or folded his clothes. When you note that the loser definitely does not do either of those things, a flash of pastel blue is catching your attention.
In the mess of Jake’s room, monochrome colors of black and gray come through the most. From sweatpants to band t-shirts, you weren’t expecting to see a glimmer of pastel silk peeking from under one of his pillows. 
It wouldn’t have caught your attention if it wasn’t for the fact that you recognize the color and even remember the day you purchased them. Those are your panties stuffed under Jake’s pillow. 
You find yourself smirking in an evil kind of way as you make your way toward the dainty fabric and pull it from the pillow. You can confirm it now, they’re yours, and you remember wearing them just the past weekend you were over. It was normal for you to leave some of your laundry at Sunghoon’s place after staying the weekend, it’s not like you aren’t here multiple times a week or anything. 
Jake must have taken them from the laundry basket in the bathroom. The thought of him that morning when you made breakfast, acting as casual and normal as ever. The harsher thought of how you listened to him again after Sunghoon had fallen asleep the night before, furiously reaching his climax. 
You spread the fabric against your fingers and laugh at the stain on them. This must have been what he was using that night, thinking of you, surely, right? God, Sunghoon would kill him if he found out.
And just as you go to look around to see if he’s stolen more of your intimate wares, you hear the front door open and you panic, shoving the panties into your back pocket and rushing out of his room to the bathroom just across the hallway.
In your slight panic, you manage to stand by the bathroom door and listen to the footsteps coming down the hallway. It’s definitely Jake because Sunghoon would have called you to let you know he was coming home. 
Checking the clock again, it’s barely six and you’ve now got two or so hours pretending that you didn’t just find your panties in Jake’s room. Or, maybe, you don’t have to pretend. Maybe you can just fluster and embarrass him more now. 
You reach over and flush the toilet and then step to the sink to actually wash your hands because you definitely were just handling cum-stained panties, and then you step out of the bathroom acting surprised that he’s here.
“Oh!” You exclaim, stepping out of the bathroom and looking directly at Jake through his bedroom door as he’s in the middle of throwing himself against the bed in frustration. “Didn’t think you’d be here today?”
Jake nearly jumps out of his skin despite knowing someone was in the bathroom. He wasn’t expecting to be addressed by you or Sunghoon today.
“Yeah, me either.” He groans, throwing his hand over his face. “You scared the fuck outta me–”
“Ah, you seem frustrated. Why?” You ask, taking a step forward and leaning against the doorframe to his room, crossing your arms. “Sunghoon said you were on a date or something?”
Jake groans again, lifting his back from the mattress to sit up and starts shaking his head in defeat. The fact that you’re talking to him right now only makes him feel worse. He’s embarrassed enough by the happenings of the past hour or so, now he has to sit here and answer your questions about it?
“Yeah, I was supposed to be but she ended up just using me as a ploy.” 
You only chuckle because of course that’s the type of shit that’ll happen to him, but also like, you’re kind of glad the date wasn’t a date, even if he didn’t know it.
“A ploy?”
“Turns out, she was just trying to make some guy jealous. He literally served us our drinks. ”
“Oh yeah? Then what happened?” You question, prying now. 
“When he was coming up to the table, she told me to kiss her so I did. Then as soon as he walked away, she was back on her phone and texting. She accidentally texted me I guess, saying that ‘the plan is working, he’s definitely jealous’.” Jake mocks the text message in a whiny voice.
You laugh a little louder this time, eyes darting to the pillow he had your panties tucked under.
“Why are you laughing? I’m miserable.” Jake is casual when he talks about it, but you note that he lets out a small chuckle too. “Why would someone even use me to make a guy jealous?”
You freeze for a second. Here’s your first opening.
“Because you’re cute?”
Jake freezes now too, glancing away from you with what you think is that shyness you’d seen so much before. It’s definitely shyness, if his quick-flushed cheeks are anything to go by.
 For Jake, out of everything that’s just happened to him, at least you think he’s cute, but it’s not like he can have you or actually use your compliment as an ego boost considering you’re dating his big brother.
“Anyway,” You offer an out, noting his avoidance a little more now that you know what he’s been doing in his free time with your personal items. “Sunghoon will be home later for our anniversary, sorry for what you’re gonna hear later–” 
Second opening.
“I know it’s weird to ask but I left a cute pair of panties last time I was here. They’re his favorite. I can’t find them.”
Jake stands to his feet quickly and casually throws his jacket over the pillow you had pulled them from earlier. Upon the very mention of your panties, he feels caught, like he’s got three shining spotlights directed at him to warn you of the panty thief. 
“I don’t know, what color were they?” He awkwardly asks, trying to avoid looking at you, not even questioning that you’re asking him when you’ve never so much as asked what he does in his free time. He can’t even tell that he’s telling on himself right now. 
“Light blue, silk.” You deadpan, looking at him.
“Oh, I might have seen them in the laundry. I’ll go look.”
Before you can even protest, Jake is shuffling past you and rushing towards the laundry room. You follow behind him casually, not in the slightest bit of a hurry with a cheeky smile hidden from his view.
“I already checked in here. The dirty laundry too.”
“Did you check Sunghoon’s drawers? He did laundry yesterday, they’re probably in there.” 
Jake is talking so fast that it’s almost sad. If you could pinch his flushed cheeks right now, you would.
“Smart boy.” You compliment with a finger in the air, walking towards Sunghoon’s room just to see what Jake will do next when you tell him they’re not there. 
You lazily look through all of your panties stuffed into Sunghoon’s drawers and head back out to Jake’s room after a few moments. Quietly, you peek around the door and only laugh at him when you see that his pillow is overturned and he’s digging through a clothes pile in the corner of his room. The fact that he didn’t even close his door is hilarious, but you imagine it was an afterthought considering time is against him.
“Did you find them?” You ask, watching him nervously stop searching and stay in place on the floor facing away from you. You can practically tell the cold sweat that hit him.
“N-no.” He says quickly. “Did you?” 
“Yep.” You say, pulling the panties out of your pocket.
Jake relaxes, choosing to believe that somehow, the panties he had tucked under his pillow managed to walk themselves to the laundry room, step into the washer, then the dryer, and then place themselves neatly into Sunghoon’s drawer. Never will he let himself think that you found them, or even worse, Sunghoon found them.
When his shoulders relax and he turns to look at you, you see him stiffen up just as much as before when you swing the panties around your finger, stopping to present them in a way that shows the massive cum stain. 
“Guess Sunghoon needs to find a new favorite, huh?” You joke, tossing them onto Jake’s bed and walking away. 
As you walk down the hallway with a smile on your face, you can hear Jake’s frantic footsteps rush up behind you. 
“Wait! It’s not–” He tries to explain the situation away. “It’s not what it looks like!”
“My panties under your pillow aren't what it looks like?” You turn to face him at the end of the hallway, and with the way he was quickly following you, he runs directly into you and has to stumble back from the close proximity of you in front of him. He’s never even touched you before. Never hugged you, prodded you, or even looked at you for too long when your eyes were already on him. 
“No–” He goes to say with a deep swallow of nervousness, but you interrupt him. 
“Jake, you’re lucky it was me who found them and not your brother.” 
“I know,” Jake stutters out, looking to the floor. “But really, I didn’t mean to-”
“If you didn’t mean for me to find them, you should have stuffed them further back. They were hanging out for anyone to see, Jake.”
He stops for a moment. You’re telling him how he should have hidden them?
“Wait–” 
Only now does Jake realize your comment of Sunghoon needing to find a new favorite pair of underwear before you tossed them back on his bed. He’s gotta be thinking too positively to imagine you’re giving him the panties and offering tips on how to keep them from Sunghoon, right? Like you only gave them back because you’re disgusted by him, right? 
“Really, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I took them.”
An admittance. You feel like you’ve won the game and you’re definitely in the position to ask more questions. 
“You don’t? Try and think of a reason then.” You ask, taking a step towards him.
You can see how that single step forward overwhelms him, so much so that he takes a step back, feeling frozen when his eyes glance up at yours. He can’t pull his eyes away this time with the way you’re looking at him. 
There’s a smirk against your lips and he can’t sense a single bit of anger. Cautiously, he tries to avoid your question. 
“I don’t know why.” He repeats, staring down at you as you look at him and take another step forward. 
“I think we both know why you stole them.” You smile wider, lifting slightly to where you’re just inches from his face. “Did you think of me?”
“Yeah,” He sighs out, somewhat lost in your gaze as if he has managed to become hypnotized by the way you’re speaking with him. Then he shakes himself out of it, taking a step back with a muttered out string of “I mean, no!” 
You close in against him just as you did before, not allowing him to escape the hold you have on him. You’re just as close as you were before he stepped back, and you continue. 
“You did? Do you listen in on what Sunghoon does to me too?”
Jake takes another step back, this time knowing full well that you’ll just follow him again. And you do, practically walking him back through the hallway and against the wall after passing his room. 
“I mean,” He admits. “Sometimes.” 
You smile as he tries to back himself up further against the wall. 
“Why not all the time?” You follow up, watching the way his lip quivers a bit from the nervousness within him. 
Unbearably cute is what Jake is at this moment, trapped and caught. 
“You guys get too quiet, I guess?” He answers as if it’s his own question, wondering if it’s what you want to hear. His belly is doing flips though, admitting these things to you and feeling as if you’ll make fun of him, mock him, tell on him. It’s a horrifying thought. 
“You’re too quiet sometimes too.” You smile before backing away and turning to walk back toward the end of the hallway. 
Jake hangs his head wondering what the fuck just happened and if you were actually implying certain things toward him. He can barely bring himself to care that you hear him masturbate. He tries to be quiet, honestly, he does. But it’s hard sometimes when he’s rubbing his cock against the silk of the panties you just gave back to him, even harder when he’s hearing you through the walls and he imagines if you’d make the same sounds for him. 
Pulled from his thoughts, he hears you turn the volume up on the tv before shouting at him.
“Jake?” You say, waiting for him to respond quietly from out of view.
“Yeah?” He responds as he makes his way back to his room. 
“I’ll be loud tonight.” 
Jake closes his bedroom door feeling like his body is on fire and like his mind is spiraling into a place where it shouldn’t be. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
When Sunghoon got home, Jake made it his mission to not step foot out of his bedroom until the two of you were passed out. Thankfully, he had taken a quick bathroom break while also trying to avoid letting you hear that he left his room right before Sunghoon came back.
Jake almost feels like prey right now, additionally, he’s confused about the entire situation with you. 
He tried to be a good person and not fantasize about his brother’s girlfriend by making a profile on a dating app, but even now as he scrolls through all of the pretty faces, he knows that none of them would just let him steal their panties like you did. Not that it’s a hobby of his or anything, he saw your panties and he took the chance to give him a better orgasm next time around. Now he’s kind of obsessed with the idea though.
He had already placed the panties back under his pillow and stuffed them further back by now, and hearing you and Sunghoon in the living room doing couple-things doesn’t really help the confusion in his head. If you’re in there all lovey-dovey with his brother, why did you get up so close to him earlier? Why did you offer to be loud for him? Why did you do any of what you did?
It feels wrong that everything just makes him want you more. Before, he was just being a horny guy, but now he’s like, maybe only horny for you.
Maybe it’s just a phase, surely it’ll pass. He loves his brother. 
Then he finds himself questioning if that’s the truth as the night goes on. 
Jealousy is a hateful demon. When he hears the shuffling into Sunghoon’s room and the giggles coming from both of you, Jake almost wants to hit someone. Why can’t he have that? Why does Sunghoon always get to experience all the good things in life?
Not only was Jake used by some pretty girl today, he is now being shown yet again what he can’t have and will probably never have. The jealousy is only worse, as he faceplants into his pillow and considers moving back in with his parents so that way he can stop wanting what his brother has. 
The consideration is furthered when he grows frustrated at the sounds of you through the wall. He can even hear Sunghoon shush you a few times. 
Unfortunately, against Jake’s will, his cock starts to grow against the mattress and his thigh, fingers now tucking further under the pillow to find those silk panties that caused his ultimate demise today. It’s instinctual at this point, despite how shameful he feels. He seriously just can’t resist touching himself when he hears you, even through the frustration and annoyance. 
When he runs his fingers along the fabric, still tucked beneath the pillow, he whines to himself at how pathetic it is for him to keep doing this. Only when he realizes that you’re over there being fucked and being loud specifically for him to hear does he pull them out and roll over onto his back.
All confusion and worry is left behind now as he replaces those anxieties with the idea of you grinding against him while wearing these panties. He thinks about how you like it, how you move your body, what you’d do with your hands. 
His cock twitches to be free just a few moments later and he doesn’t think twice about lowering his sweatpants and staring down at himself. He sighs in defeat at the image, noting how much harder he is now compared to the nights before when he weakly worked himself up to the faint sounds of you
From across the wall, you’re enjoying yourself far too much. Jake kind of falls into the back of your guilty mind as your boyfriend loves on you. Sunghoon came home excited, a hand was on you the entire time from the moment he walked through the door until now. Both hands are on you now as he praises you and pries your legs open.
 Usually, Sunghoon is rougher. He’d do things that drive you insane, edge you, and deny you pleasure over and over again until he felt it was time to let you let go. The added attempts to be silent only made it more fun for your boyfriend, gagging you with his cock, fingers, or even your own panties. Tonight though, tonight is a little different considering it is the two-year anniversary of his relationship with you.
The plan you had for Sunghoon tonight was for him to use a new toy on you that you’d bought in secret. He always wanted to try double penetration with you but is never willing to share you, and you don’t mind that at all. Still, you wanted to fulfill one of his fantasies, and that’s what the intention is. 
To your surprise though, Sunghoon leaves the toy still in its package on the table and has been eating you out for a solid twenty minutes already.
He’s focusing on you entirely at this moment and it’s got your head spinning with the way his wet tongue flicks your clit while his lips envelop the entire bud. He’s so good at it, and usually only does this when you’ve been extra good for him, like if you willingly choke on his entire length or you let him overstimulate you to the point that getting head from him is painful. 
His head is between your legs lapping away and all you can do is groan out for him, enjoying the way he’s being gentle and pointed with his tongue. His hands go from your legs to keep them from crushing his head to reaching up to massage your tits. He doesn’t even try to silence you, and you’re thankful to keep your promise to Jake despite not actually trying to right now. 
And when Sunghoon pulls his head back for a breath, he looks up at you and whispers a small “happy anniversary, baby–” before smiling in such a genuine way that it has your heart crashing with the amount of love you have for him. 
He dips back in after the loving words, hugging both of your thighs with his arms and burying his face into you for another ten minutes before, well, he grows a bit bored. He wants to make you cum this way and make it last as long as possible, but now he’s feeling neglected and the image of you with that toy you got is burning images in his mind the more he hears you moan for him. 
“Changed my mind,” Sunghoon mutters as he pulls back for a breath and leaves your clit entirely abandoned.
 He hears you whimper at the loss of pressure and honestly, he’s always loved the way you sound when you do it. He finds himself reaching for the toy much quicker than he originally planned, soothing you through your disappointment with a fond voice.
“Play with yourself while I get this ready.” He smiles at you, giving you a quick kiss to the forehead before fumbling with the box. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The fact that Jake can hear his brother tell you to play with yourself makes him feel insane. Only because of the way you start moaning again and give him even more to think about while over here all alone. 
Fuck, the thought of walking in on you one day with your fingers inside of yourself, not quite reaching where you want them to, asking him to take over for you? 
Jake almost wants to put his ear to the wall. 
Wait, why shouldn’t he? He wants to hear you.
Cock still in hand and tangled against your panties, he shuffles to his feet and presses his ear against the wall. You sound much more clear now when he chokes back his own moan, knowing you’d probably hear it more clearly too considering how loud he is.
Knowing you can hear him though? That means Sunghoon can also hear him, so he tries his best to hold it back as he starts thrusting himself against the silk in his hand.
He does well until he hears a choked-out whimper, a slap, and some crude words coming from his brother’s lips. On any other day of listening in, his cock would instantly go soft hearing his brother but what he says to you through these thin as fuck walls has him biting his lip in an attempt to silence his own moan.
“You like being stuffed with two?” Jake hears at first, followed by another whimper from you. “So wet, it slid right in beside me–”
Jake can’t even imagine what’s being done to you right now but he can tell you’re loving it in the way your whimpers turn to full-fledged moans that he’s never heard before. 
“Oh, fuck–” Jake groans out towards himself, looking down at his painfully hard cock against your panties. Dripping, absolutely an utter fucking mess in his own palm over you. 
He starts to move his hand this time, faster than what his hips were doing. Only part of him is trying to match the sounds of skin slapping skin, moving his hand much faster than what he’s hearing happen to you. 
He’s sure you’d moan like that for him too. Wouldn’t even need two to make you be so loud, surely. 
And then he’s starting to shake, rolling his head a bit to where his forehead is against the wall. He’s shamelessly out of breath when he whispers his own words to you as his cock begins to fucking weep his cum against your panties. Words of, ‘yeah, you like that?’ and “Better than him, right?” 
And when Jake backs away from the wall, allowing the muffled sound of your loud moaning to be further and further from his ear, he collapses on his bed in a deep breath and then trails his eyes back over towards the wall. 
You’re right there. 
You know exactly what he’s doing in here but now he can’t tell if you’re actually being loud because you told him you would, or if it’s because Sunghoon really is that good. 
The jealousy hits again. It isn’t fair.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
It’s been days since your anniversary and now that work is finished, you get to head back over for your regular weekend with Sunghoon. Except now you wonder how awkward it’s going to be. The soreness between your legs has gotten better but the guilt of how Jake avoided you the next morning got worse. 
You think you should leave it be, you should just let him have those panties and pretend it never happened, pretend you never flirted with him, and pretend you didn’t tell him that you listen to him get off too.
You went too far on your fucking anniversary then proceeded to fall even more in love with Sunghoon.
Thankfully, you didn’t go far enough to where it couldn’t be salvaged, so when you leave today, you have the promise in your head that you will leave it alone. You will leave Jake alone and go back to what you were with Sunghoon before you ever fantasized about his little brother.
Except that doesn’t happen because the moment you walk in and see Jake lounging by himself on the couch, shirtless, you find yourself avoiding him more than he’s avoiding you.
Though he immediately got up when you walked through the door with a small apology and rushed towards his room, you had to stop yourself from turning around and going straight back home. Sunghoon is here though, back turned towards you as he stirs something in a bowl. 
“Hey babe, can you come help me?” Your boyfriend calls out, glancing at you from over his shoulder and showing the smallest glimpse of something smeared against his cheek. 
Your heart warms at how domestic he looks right now, kicking your shoes off and heading towards him with your weekend bag. 
“I'll be back in a minute, let me put my bag in your room.” You say, coming up behind him and planting a kiss on his shoulder.
He lends you a short nod in response, turning his attention back to his mixing bowl with a smile plastered across his face. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t miss you, honestly. 
And as you make your way down the hallway to Sunghoon’s room, you note how Jake’s door is closed. You’re thankful for that, as the image of his stupidly attractive shirtless body still appears to be fucking burned into your brain.
 It’s stupid, honestly, you have a whole Sunghoon in the kitchen waiting for you, who will probably make you cum a minimum of three times tonight, and you’re panic-walking past his little brother’s bedroom because you’re incredibly fucking attracted to him. 
Ridiculous.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The self-control you once had is no longer present in your head. The plan to leave it be is less and less attractive in your brain the more you take in the image of Jake in front of you at the table texting away on his phone. 
You watch him shamelessly as Sunghoon goes back and forth in the kitchen. You’re almost completely skewed from his view, thanks to the wall separating the kitchen and dining room, as you sit here across from Jake. He’s wearing a shirt now, rude, and is only glancing at you from time to time.
He’s not saying a damn thing to you though, which is annoying.
What happened to you avoiding him? No, what happened to him avoiding you? 
From under the table, you gently kick against his leg to get his attention and his eyes snap up toward you. You look down instantly, pretending as if you weren’t kicking him to get his attention at all. All so you’re the one ignoring him instead. 
But your leg stays there, occasionally kicking against him just to see how long it takes for him to stop reacting to it. 
Scrolling through your own phone now, you’re swiping through videos, listening to Sunghoon clattering through the cupboards, and feeling incredibly warm sitting in front of Jake. You don’t know what’s gotten into you when it comes to him, honestly.
Finally, you slowly trail your eyes back up to his face and note that he does the same, at the exact same time. 
The two of you share a moment of silence looking at each other. You can almost feel his eyes pull you in without intent. It feels dangerous just to look at him, seeing him in a newer light than what you’d seen in him when it was just amusement on your end. You wonder if he can tell. Probably not.
He doesn’t look away from you, and you’re not sure why. He just stays still and silent, blinking back at you. 
Maybe he’s being pulled in too, like a silent agreement communicated just through eye contact. The electricity in the space between the two of you is nothing short of dangerous. Your body almost acts on its own when you raise your lips into a half smile at him and plant your foot on the chair between his legs.
Still keeping eye contact, you watch him jump at the action but he doesn’t move or push your foot away. Instead, he’s breaking eye contact and looking down, staring down, really, at how your socked foot is planted directly between his legs.
He doesn’t move, trailing his eyes back to you now with a curious look. You continue, pressing your foot forward just slightly. Jake jumps again at the feeling and shoots his eyes to the opening of the kitchen.
 Sunghoon is still facing away, stirring something in a pot on the stove. Thank fuck.
 He’s not strong enough to push your foot away. In fact, he can hardly comprehend the situation at all, or why he presses his hips forward out of need rather than want. He knows it’s wrong to have you touching him in any way whether it’s your foot or not, this is not okay to be doing. But god, he yearns for you so badly. He’ll take anything, everything he can get. 
You smile wider, watching the way his face tries to stay casual as he gently scoots forward and presses himself further against your foot. Only now, satisfied, do you look back down to your phone as if you didn’t just do that, and like you’re not keeping your foot in place for Jake to grind against. 
The fact that he’s actually doing this at all is enough for you to feel warm on the inside. All you were going to do was experimentally cross a line to see what would happen. This is a much better outcome compared to him rushing out of the room in a panic. 
It doesn’t take long before you start giving more pressure against his weak grinds. Each time you glance up just to get a look at his poker-face, you can tell he’s looking at you in disbelief and shifting his eyes to keep checking for Sunghoon. 
You can tell he grinds harder when Sunghoon isn’t at risk of seeing, and he moves more weakly when his alarm bells are ringing. If anything, the fact that Jake is falling apart in front of you and trying to pretend he isn’t is enough to have you pressing forward more.
You smirk as you scroll to watch another video, feeling his cock twitch against your foot, and god, he’s really that desperate? You hate how much you like it and hate even more that you’re so fucking attracted to him doing this right now. 
When you glance up again, this time because you really can’t help yourself at this point, you note that Jake is really trying to concentrate on looking normal despite his body obviously shifting back and forth under the table. 
He’s insanely obvious, and already it makes even you panic at the fact that he’s really losing his ability to remain calm. 
“Jake, have you seen this meme?” You fake laugh out loud, mostly to stop him from getting too into it and blowing the cover. 
He jerks his hips back with an annoyed groan, realizes where he is and what’s between his legs, and then jumps back into an act.
“No, I don’t think so–” He says nervously, leaning forward to see your phone. 
You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him closer over the table, lifting him from his seat and whispering as quickly as you can.
“You need to stop being obvious–” You warn before releasing him and turning your phone to show him the video.
Jake lets out a fake laugh at the video, shifting his eyes to you apologetically before seating himself back down and looking dead into your eyes. 
There, he feels you adjust your foot again, this time further into his chair where you can blatantly feel how desperately hard he’s gotten over this. 
Jake can’t just sit here and let this continue for too long, despite really, really fucking needing the touch. And it sucks, considering it’s the first time you’ve actually come onto him and it just has to be with Sunghoon barely even a room over? 
God, fuck. Fuck! 
Right here, right now, Jake decides he’s going to take what he can get, even if it makes you feel sorry for him. 
You’re shocked when you feel his hand grab your foot and hold it in place before very harshly  grinding against it. Watching him from across the table, he makes it very obvious as to what he’s doing but still, you find yourself falling apart at the way he parts his lips, squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to hold back a moan. 
Then, just as quickly as he started, you feel him push your foot away and he’s scooting back in his chair. 
“I left something in my room. I’ll be back.” Jake says sheepishly, looking to the floor and rushing into the hallway.
You watch him rush out of the room confused, so you look behind you hoping Sunghoon didn’t like, make eye contact with him or something. It doesn’t appear he did though, because you see him waist-deep bent over in the fridge looking for something. 
Jake needed to like, not come in his pants from that. Not in front of you. Not in front of his own fucking brother.
  He doesn’t even fucking like feet! But, well, he likes you. 
You offered pressure and he fucking took it. He needed to finish himself off and not have to sit there in cum-soiled pants pretending like it didn’t just happen. So, naturally, he ran to his room to finish himself off out of frustration. Thankfully he’s close enough to reach climax within two to three strokes, right there leaning against his door. 
Embarrassed by the small sob he let out during his orgasm, he’s quick to rush to the bathroom and clean up before grabbing a hoodie from his room and throwing it on over the t-shirt, mostly so it does look like he actually came in here to grab something.
Not even five minutes pass before he’s sitting in front of you again. Jake feels helpless in the way he can no longer bring himself to avoid looking at you, all the way up until Sunghoon peeks into the room and announces that he thinks he’s perfected the soup recipe, and is ready for you guys to come try it. 
You, on the other hand, didn’t look at Jake after he came back. Not much, anyway. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it’s mostly just that you’re coming to terms with the fact that you just crossed a line and you’re not sorry about it. Even after Sunghoon places a spoon at your lips and the soup is definitely the most delicious he’s ever made. 
 Even after he’s got his arm around you at the table with that same loving smile plastered on his lips, sitting across from his little brother who just eye fucked you while grinding against your foot, you struggle to decide who you’d rather look at. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The events of yesterday stay fresh on your mind as Sunghoon lays next to you half-awake and scratching against his arm before cuddling in closer to you. He’s so warm and all you can do is wonder why you're risking this comfort to have fun with his little brother.
 You’ve already crossed a line and gone too far. You did exactly what you said you weren’t going to do and exactly what you never thought you could do. You’re probably not going to be able to stop even if you wanted to, so you opt to just–not think about when it’s gonna happen again or if it’s gonna happen again. 
Saturday almost flies by and before you know it, all three of you are lounging in the living room to watch a movie. Usually, Jake isn’t as present when you’re with Sunghoon but since everything started, he makes himself known much more. 
He includes himself in things and engages in more conversation. You wonder if it’s because he’s waiting for you to do something again. The worst part about all of it is that you can tell Sunghoon is enjoying the time he’s spending with you and Jake together. 
Even during this movie, Sunghoon doesn’t think twice when you lean against him and throw your legs over Jake’s lap to get comfortable. Alternatively, Jake thinks three to four times over when you do it, opting to keep his hands at his sides when he steals a glance at you and notes that you’re comfortable under his brother’s arm. 
The movie goes on like that and Jake can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to be over with. Then again, he’s staring at your legs on his lap more than the movie on the screen. It gets worse when there's a jumpscare and your legs are tensing up and moving around against him. 
At least this time it’s not your fucking foot and he’s got a calf muscle to work with. 
You did it both intentionally and unintentionally. You weren’t exactly throwing your legs on him to get him to rub against them or anything, it was mostly just to fluster him, but Jake proves himself as someone with zero self-control once again.
 You feel him twitch under your legs and shamefully, you immediately feel arousal drip between your legs. The fact that he gets you so riled up so fast will always be a mystery to you, honestly. 
The good news? Being turned on isn’t so bad right now, considering you have Sunghoon right here to help you take care of it without much convincing.
Adjusting yourself, you pull your legs from Jake and take a second to focus on his lap. The tent in his pants is obvious, but Sunghoon pays no mind as his eyes stay on the screen. You watch the way Jake covers himself quickly and looks at you in confusion. 
As he looks at you, you move a bit to look at Sunghoon.
Without warning, your boyfriend is thrown off guard by you suddenly kissing his neck. If Jake doesn’t have self-control, neither do you. 
And in your defense, you’re not trying to dangle your relationship in front of him, really, you’re not. It’s not your fault that Jake got hard and that caused a chain reaction in getting you wet. 
Sunghoon pulls back to look at you. His face is somewhat concerned but still, he’s smiling as he makes attempts to dodge your kisses. 
“Hey, hey slow down–” He turns his face to whisper into your hair. “It’s weird with Jake here.”
You ignore his whispers and continue to kiss against him, moving your hand dangerously close to his upper thigh. 
In a way, Sunghoon can’t believe that you’re really acting like this in front of Jake. Sure, the two of you have kissed in front of him, and Jake has walked in on some steamy makeout sessions, but it was never intended to be in front of him. Then again, Sunghoon knows how needy you can get and how selfish you can be when you’re wanting something specific from him. 
“Okay, okay–” Sunghoon relents in another whisper, gently pulling himself from the couch and grabbing your hand. 
“Hey, I think she’s getting tired.” Sunghoon laughs with the obvious lie to his brother. “Can we finish the movie another time?” 
“Uh, sure.” Jake responds, knowing full fucking well that you’re turned on because of him and now you’re gonna go fuck his brother to take care of it. 
This is so annoying.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Come Sunday morning, you were just as turned on as you were the night before. You can feel your body heating the moment you even think of Jake, but Sunghoon satiates you well enough. Even there against the bathroom wall as the two of you take a shower. 
Sunghoon took note the night before that you enjoyed it when he humiliated you for doing those things in front of Jake. Asking you if you were really so desperate that you’d let just anyone see you acting the way you did. He plays off of that today too. 
Waking up hard wasn’t anything weird for Sunghoon, and usually the morning showers end up as morning sex sessions anyway. You seemed more willing and awake this morning than any other time, and he’s thankful for it. 
When he’s got you pressed against the wall as the warm water runs down your back, he doesn’t hesitate to plunge into you all the way with a comment of how much wetter you get when he degrades you. In a way, the punishment and degradation feels deserved, because you are embarrassed by how much you want to touch Jake.
“Getting off on the thought of other people seeing how wet you get for me?” 
You nod against the cold bathroom tiles, feeling his cock pressing deeply inside of you and making your legs feel weak. You do love when other people can see, but what you mean by that is you love when his little brother can see. 
Jake, from across the hall, once again hears it all because it wakes him up. Sunghoon hasn’t even attempted to keep his voice down while talking to you. Why? Because even he is far too turned on to pay attention to anything outside of this bathroom right now. 
“Going so far as letting Jake see? How desperate were you?” 
Jake’s ears perk up at the sound of his brother saying that, already stirring in his pants at the very idea of you getting off to that. 
How desperate were you?
 He wonders how you answer, or if you do. He wonders if you were desperate for him or if it was really for Sunghoon.
Without much more thought, Jake can’t go another day with you here right now. It’s becoming a bit too much, a bit too real, and honestly, he thinks he’s the desperate one right now. Wanting to barge into the bathroom, shove his brother away, and have his way with you. He could never. You’d never let him go that far surely. 
And by the time it’s all said and done, you leave the bathroom lightheaded and Jake appears to have left the house to do something else.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
The week passes normally up until Thursday night. You’re rummaging through your cabinets for something to make for dinner when your phone goes off. Assuming it’s Sunghoon again, complaining that Friday never comes fast enough, you’re shocked to see that it’s Jake sending you something through instagram. 
And he’s drunk. 
SimJake_ sent a photo: 
SimJake_: guess who got drunk on a thursday night and is regretting the fact that i wanna talk to you? 
Never did you want a paper trail or some type of proof that you and Jake are involved in this weird….thing together. His message isn’t even sexual, it's just a bit intimate that your boyfriend’s brother is sending you selfies while drunk even though you came onto him first. 
He’s attractive, and entirely too cute right now trying to approach you via fucking Instagram because he won’t do it to your face. Then again, Sunghoon is always around, so maybe that’s why he hasn’t done anything about it. 
You: let me guess, you’re the one drunk on a thursday night and will probably say some shit that will make you not be able to look me in the eye tomorrow?
SimJake_ : ding ding ding! what’re you doing? 
You: texting you and trying to find food, im hungry. what about you?
SimJake_ : bout to make another drink and pretend i don’t have your panties under my pillow
SimJake_ : because i do
Wow, Jake is embarrassing and confident when he’s drunk. You find yourself smiling over it. You’d never guess or even assume he would try to make conversation with you about that of all things.
You: oh yeah, you’re definitely drunk
SimJake_ : am i being too weird? 
SimJake_: because you’re the one who started it
You: me? I started it? last time i checked, you’re the one who stole my panties?? you pervert????
SimJake_ : you’re the one who let me keep them
You: that’s……fair
SimJake_: so… 
Shy boy is no more at this moment and you almost feel caught off guard. Reminding yourself that he’s drunk, you try to set a boundary in your head and change the subject.
You: what are you drinking?
SimJake_ : found some of my brother’s expensive whiskey, gonna tell him you drank it, he wont be mad then
You: you’re gonna tell him that I drank his whiskey, when he knows I don’t even like whiskey?
SimJake_ : yep
You laugh at the audacity, finally finding a snack for yourself and settling on the couch with your phone in hand. 
You: and you’re drinking on a weeknight again, why?
SimJake_ : because i want you 
Oh.
SimJake_ : and i know im not allowed to, but it’s really hard to like, not, i guess
SimJake_ : i know im being weird and im sorry, just really drunk rn and wanna talk to you thats all
SimJake_ : or we can pretend i never messaged you and you can delete the messages
You: no, i think you’re being cute. You can calm down, it’s okay
It’s definitely not okay, but you want it to be. You’re about to do some not okay things too, and cross those boundaries you literally just now set.
You: so, they’re still under your pillow? 
SimJake_: yea
You: when was the last time you didn’t have them under there?
SimJake_ : yesterday
You: oh yeah? 
SimJake_: yea i washed them when Sunghoon was at work…um
SimJake_: can you maybe wear them again
God, he really is that desperate. 
SimJake_ : please? you can leave them in the laundry like last time and ill just grab them
You: i’ll think about it 
SimJake_ : okay…so…
SimJake_: um….did you like the selfie 
You: i like seeing you in person more, it’s fun when you’re all flustered and stuff, trying to pretend you don’t like it
Jake is giggling to himself like a schoolgirl, focusing on your messages and hoping to god he doesn’t forget the things you’re saying to him. He’s going to have to delete these messages as soon as it’s over though, for sure. At least he’s not drunk enough to forget the glaring issue at hand here.
SimJake_: i don’t like it because i always have a boner now lol i feel gross always having to go to my room and take care of it so things dont get weird
You: maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?
SimJake_ : wait what
You’re cheating. As if you haven’t been already. This is blatantly against your moral code and you literally do not care. 
You: are you all flustered now?
SimJake_ : maybe,,,,
You: would you want me to? instead of you having to always run off to your room where I can’t see? 
SimJake_ : you’re doing this on purpose, you wouldn’t actually wanna
SimJake_ : would you?
You: guess you’ll just have to find out eventually
You: flustered now?
SimJake_ : yea, wanna see?
SimJake_ sent a photo: 
You:  jesus christ, you’re…
You: big…. I mean, I knew from feeling it last weekend but like, that was my foot lol
SimJake_ : yeah what even was that about? i felt so stupid doing that
You: you looked hot when you did it tho
SimJake_ : am i really that big? 
You: Jake,look at that thing. im shocked you don’t already have a girl to bury it into yet. 
SimJake_: could have one ;) 
You: ….yeah
SimJake_: yeah? 
SimJake_  sent a photo: 
Okay, it’s getting to be too much now. You can feel the warmth pooling into your panties already and you wonder if he would be just as eager to lick it up as he is to text you right now. You spread your legs wide, deciding on if you should do it. You’re already cheating, the guilt couldn’t get any worse anyway. 
You sent a photo: 
SimJake_ : oh fuck 
SimJake_: you’re wet?
SimJake_: sorry i wasnt expecting that
SimJake_: can i save it
You:  no 
You sent a photo: 
SimJake_: you should give me those panties instead
You: okay, ill put them in the basket tomorrow night 
SimJake_: will you still wear the other ones too?
You: you want //two// pairs?
SimJake_ : yeah :( 
You: ill think about it
Jake is blushing, flushing, and shaking all at once, one hand on his cock and the other texting you. He’s saved the photos anyway, boring holes into them with the thought of what must be behind that thin layer of sticky and wet fabric. He wants to put his face there, he wants to smell you and swallow you up. 
SimJake_ : can i call you?
A sharp feeling of fear but an even bigger feeling of arousal hits you. 
You: okay…
You didn’t have to wait long, watching the bubble of him typing something to you disappear and instead getting a phone call. You knew Jake had your number and you had his, mostly for communication purposes for Sunghoon. Never was this supposed to happen. 
When you answer the phone after taking a deep breath, your eyes are nearly popping out of your head. 
Jake is shameless. 
All those nights of hearing his mans muffled through the wall are now coming through crisp and clear on the speaker. If you close your eyes, it’s like you’re in his room with him. 
You don’t speak and instead, listen. You had expected him to answer the phone stuttering, trying to dirty talk but ultimately failing. It appears his drunken state offers him more than just liquid courage, but liquid lust as well.
 For a moment you stop and contemplate hanging up. Jake is drunk and you can’t help but feel as though you’re taking advantage of him. Then again, previously sober he basically fucked himself against your foot at the dinner table. 
“Feels good?” You ask with a chuckle.
 You can hear the movement of his body through the speaker and you’re aware that through the lack of slapping sounds, your panties are probably silencing what his hand is doing. 
Jake barely answers. A quick “mhm” rings through your ears alongside his deep breaths as a response instead. This isn’t typically how phone sex would go, considering dirty talking is what gets a person there. Perhaps Jake has never done this before, then again, maybe he gets off on just knowing you’re listening to him at all.
“Can you–talk?” Jake asks weakly, his hand stilling for a moment to focus solely on the image he has pulled up over your phone call. He can barely comprehend that you’re on the other line and he’s looking at your pussy pressing against slick panties.
“I like hearing you do this,” You say quickly, not very good at this type of thing yourself despite knowing how it should usually go. You slowly start to trace your fingers against your panties, wondering if Jake would be gentle like this too, nervous even. 
“Yeah?” He asks with a small choked moan as he begins to move his hand again. “You’re not weirded out?”
“If I was weirded out I wouldn’t have sent you photos.” You snap, frustrated suddenly with the whole situation that this is your boyfriend’s brother. “Stop calling it weird–” You trail off, listening intently to the shifting sounds you hear through the speaker. 
“Sunghoon isn’t home right now,” Jake suddenly admits, and you can feel the arousal disappear almost instantly as you hear his name. The reality hitting you, but still not caring enough to stop.
“Don’t talk about him right now, This isn’t right but–”
“But what?” Jake asks with a hopeful voice, this time pulling his hand away completely and feeling his heart double in speed.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” You let out, finally pressing your fingers beneath the lining of your panties. “I know it’s wrong.”
Like music to Jake’s ears, he feels the eagerness in his body swell to the point that it’s difficult to maintain. Sunghoon has everything that Jake wants. A good career, a nice house, needed life skills. All of those things could be obtained with hard work and effort for Jake, but you. You were the one thing he was never supposed to have. You were the one aspect of Sunghoon’s life that Jake wouldn’t have the ability to work his way towards, but he did. 
He has you right now, in this moment, and he feels like nothing could break him. He knows it’s wrong just like you do, but Jake is selfish too. 
He doesn’t think you meant to feel this way, because he always sees the good in people, and if you were doing this with any other man he would definitely snitch on you if he found out. But you’re doing it with him and he doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt at this moment. So what if he he wants to fuck his big brother’s girlfriend? You reciprocate the fucking feeling. 
A small part of Jake’s brain is still anxious though. That little still-sober sliver of his moral code trying to fight its way to the front. Does he go with his heart or with his brain? Should he stop? Will he be able to look you in the eye tomorrow? Will he be able to ever look his brother in the eye? 
He isn’t sure. Both his heart and his brain tells him to go for you, the only thing telling him not to is the thought of his brother. The good news about that is, with you on the other end of this line, Sunghoon is pushed to the back of his mind. 
“You can have me, you know.” He almost whispers, staring down at his heavy cock resting against his belly, panties left dangling off the tip. “I wouldn’t say no.”
Those are dangerous words. Words you know you shouldn’t accept or be turned on by. 
“I bet you wouldn’t–” You cut yourself off in a deep breath, pressing against your clit and rubbing harshly. Jake isn’t even talking much, just offering himself on a fucking platter to you, and it’s driving your body to fucking yearn. 
“Oh, shit, are you–” Jake swallows hard, the reality that you might actually be touching yourself on the other line sending waves of heat down his body. He thought it was just him and only had the hopes that you wouldn’t start making fun of him for it. 
“Oh, fuck.” He says, quickly moving his hand to grip against his cock again and already feeling too sensitive from the short moments of neglect. “Where are your hands?” 
“In my panties.”
Jake groans, dropping his phone by his ear on the pillow and using his other hand to grip something, anything as he opts to imagine your fingers sliding beneath the panties you’d shown him in the photo.
You can tell he’s holding his breath, focusing on feeling good in the way he releases short, quick groans every now and then. You keep yourself silent though, trying to hear him, trying to imagine what he’s doing while thinking of you. 
The dripping mess between your legs is being spread by your fingers as you scissor your lips open easily, letting a small groan roll off your tongue for him to hear. Satisfied by his responsive deep breath and sigh, you finally plunge your fingers in. 
“Can you hear it, Jake?” You ask in a breath, lowering the phone a bit so that he can hear your fingers slide in and out of you with a wet sound. 
He chokes on his end at that, swiping the panties off of him to replace the feeling of fabric with the feeling of his closed fist. His precum smears beautifully, offering him the sensation that if he squeezes hard enough, he can imagine that he’s fucking into your warm and wet cunt. He can hear how wet you sound and it’s driving him up a fucking wall not being able to physically see you do it in front of him. 
“This is all I'm going to think about tomorrow–” He groans out, tightening his fist even more and bucking his hips into it. “You sound so,”
“Wet for you?”
That’s all it takes before Jake is gasping out a string of curses, the orgasm both sending him into a sobering world of pleasure and an even drunker state of wanting you to himself. Strings of white spurting all along his belly and going as far as his chin, he throws his other hand up and bites hard against the skin on his knuckle as he works through it.
 He doesn’t want to moan through this, he wants to hear just how fast your fingers are moving, how fast you’d want him to fuck you. He wants to think about how you must be imagining him right now, feeling good and breaking the rules for him. 
Finally, after an embarrassingly long orgasm from Jake, his room goes silent and his ears tune in to the speaker on his phone. You’re cooing, letting out pretty little breaths between the smacking sounds of your palms coming into contact with your clit as you fuck yourself. He can’t believe you’re doing this with him, and even after his own orgasm he’s still incredibly aroused despite his cock softening. 
“You still there?” You groan out. He can tell the phone is closer to what your hands are doing than it is to your face, but he doesn’t mind.
“I’m still here–” He swallows hard, catching his breath as he practically studies the audio you’re feeding to him. 
“I bet that felt good,” You compliment his orgasm that was glaringly obvious on your end. You imagine he doesn’t even recognize that his hand was audible against his cock, and the sheer speed you heard of what he was doing made your clenching walls ache with everything you shouldn’t be wanting.”Wish I could see you right now–” 
Jake did contemplate face timing you instead, but that was crossing more of a line in his head than just calling you. Plus, he would have probably hidden himself from view the entire time. It’s not like he expected to actually have you fucking yourself on the other end of the line, but here you are, and here he is, cum all over him. 
He snaps a quick photo for you, and in your head you whimper a small “yes” at the sound of the shutter from his camera. 
“Send it.” You demand softly, pulling your phone from your stomach and holding it in front of your face. 
He does as you ask and feels embarrassed by the pools of cum all over his stomach. The photo consists mostly of his chest down. You can see his plush and bitten lips at the top of the photo though, and his quite big softening cock lying spent against his stomach, smearing some of the cum across his belly. 
Jake listens to your reaction and hum of approval when you look at the photo, a small blush fanning his cheeks out of pure adoration for you rather than lust at this moment. He listens intently, unsure of if you’re going to work yourself to orgasm or hang up on him before he gets the chance to hear it. 
The point is, Jake is getting a part of you that only Sunghoon should have, and he will be damned to pretend he doesn’t like it. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Waking up with an immense amount of guilt in your head, you almost bail at going to Sunghoon’s house this weekend. You’ve already called out of work simply because you find yourself thinking of Jake more than you should, and the guilt only wavers from you feeling like a piece of shit, to almost being a thought that you can push aside. 
Sunghoon would kill Jake if he found out, and you, what would he even do with you? Break up with you? Insult you? 
Still, the thought of him finding out is the only reason you feel guilty. Because you still don’t regret showing Jake, letting him hear you, or hearing and seeing him. In fact, you don’t intend to stop either. You want him too much at this point, and he seems to be in the same place as you when it comes to this situation. Jake wouldn’t tell on you because then, he would be telling on himself. 
After all, he only moved in with Sunghoon so he could taste freedom outside of his parent’s house. The strict curfews, the password protected websites despite him being a fucking adult, the supervision of his own money and belongings. Sunghoon knew the pain of living there, and that’s why he accepted Jake with open arms. 
Sunghoon was a good brother and an even better boyfriend. You and Jake on the other hand? Jake’s an awful brother and you’re an even worse girlfriend. Sunghoon doesn’t deserve any of this, and he doesn’t deserve any of what’s to come either. You’re in too deep with Jake now though, and the glaring attraction is too strong to ignore. 
Never in your life did you think you could find yourself being unfaithful, let alone with your own boyfriend’s sibling, yet here you are. Only guilty if you get caught. 
Jake had texted you at least three thousand times with apologies throughout the night and morning. Admitting that his head hurt too much this morning to be realizing what the two of you did. He said he wouldn’t approach you when you come over, apologized again, and then promised to never tell Sunghoon and to never hold it against you if you think he’s weird for doing all of that to you.
Reading over his string of messages, you realize that Jake is blaming himself. He feels like he’s taking advantage of you and wanting you to feel secure and safe in something you did without a second thought. 
On his end though, Jake is in his room staring at the two photos you sent to him the night before. Partially wondering if it was all just a dream at first, these pictures of you are the truth of how you feel towards him though. At least last night, that’s how it was. So, when you never text him back today? He doesn’t think too hard about why despite his heart feeling shattered by it. 
When you still show up at that day, he doesn’t question that you’re not eye fucking him the second you walk in through the door either. 
Jake was once again lounging on the couch when you walked in and Sunghoon was nowhere in sight. He hadn’t texted you either. Awkwardly, Jake speaks up before you can question it.
“He told me to let you know that he was gonna be late again. Said something about knowing you’d spam him with needy text messages while he’s in a last-minute work meeting.”
You look to the floor for a second, wondering if the real reason Sunghoon didn’t text you personally like he always did is because he found out somehow. 
“Oh.” You sigh, slipping off your shoes and feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. 
“He doesn’t know, don’t worry–” Jake assures you as he stands to his feet and heads towards his room. “Sorry about last night, I won't do that again.”
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
You’ve been slouched against Sunghoon’s couch for at least an hour by now and your mind is still doing a back and forth between taking advantage of this alone time with Jake, or worrying about how you shouldn’t be left alone with him at all.
The glaringly obvious issue in your head right now is the fact that you’re alone with Jake and you’re not upset about it. Jake assured you that Sunghoon didn’t find out, and the fact that Jake is the best source of finding out exactly what Sunghoon knows is more of a comfort than anything to you right now. 
Thinking back to the night before, you remember releasing your orgasm on the phone and hearing him compliment you through it. You have the photo of him saved within your gallery, hidden from your too-trusting boyfriend’s eyes. It was the first time you’ve ever seen Jake’s lower half bare. He really is huge, and it’s a shame, really, that you want it so badly.
It’s not even shocking to you at this point that you can feel guilty and anxious one moment and immediately switch into some sex-starved beast at the very thought of Jake. 
“maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?” The text message you sent to him spreads across your thoughts, knowing full well that you’re probably going to get intimate with Sunghoon later, the least you can do is let Jake have some first if he wants it, right? 
You cautiously stand to your feet with a deep breath. The fact that you allow yourself to continuously dig the hole deeper for yourself? So deep that you’ll never be able to pull yourself from it? It’s laughable at how tiny of a worry that is in your mind when you know that Jake is seething in his bedroom right now.
 Maybe it's just what Jake does to your thoughts? The images of him are too good to be able to ignore, the guilt not nearly enough to make you stop wanting him. 
Sunghoon isn’t in your mind when you reach into your bag and grab the soiled panties you had soaked completely the night before, and Sunghoon barely exists at all in your thoughts when you make your way down the hall and lean against Jake’s closed door. 
“I wouldn’t say no.” was what Jake had messaged you before, guess now is the time to find out. 
Opening his door without so much as a knock, Jake doesn't appear to notice you at all as his back stays turned and he focuses on the screen in front of him. The large headset is sitting comfortably on his ears and you’re sure that the volume is up far too loud to be healthy. You can hear his friend’s yelling directions, where enemies are hiding and where they’re headed next. 
You smirk for a moment, noting how much of a typical college boy Jake is. Messy room, messy hair, messy relationship with his brother’s girlfriend. You can imagine he feels pride in what he was able to do with you, and that’s not even an ego boost on your end. 
You wonder if he’s told his friends anything at all. Not about who he likes or who he’s been getting intimate with even if not too-directly, but like, that he’s been getting fed sexual fantasies by someone in general. You wonder if he talks you up, then again, what if he hasn’t mentioned it at all? 
Why does that thought upset you?
“Where were you last night anyway?” You hear over the too-loud headset as you come up behind Jake with the panties in your hand. 
“Busy getting laid, unlike you losers.” Jake boasts, but you snicker at how he’s both lying and telling the truth.
“Bullshit–” You hear another insult coming through his headset before you finally are right behind him. 
Part of you wants to prove him right so his friends think he’s cool or something, but then again, what if they recognize your voice? Surely these are his friends from back home, some two to three hours from this city. Surely they don’t know you, right?
“No, really.” You lean down against Jake’s headset and speak in a tone that isn’t too common for you and he freezes. 
“Now, hold on–” A voice sounds through his headset and you can’t help but feel happy for him in the way they, for some reason, can’t believe Jake’s got some girl in this city interested in him. 
When Jake tries to turn his body to look at you, you hold the chair in place. Knowing yourself how headsets work, you lift his mic until it clicks, hoping to god the mute function works like it’s supposed to and start talking.
“Don’t move, keep playing if you want.” You say, dangling the panties over his head and lowering them in front of his face.
More arousing than gross, you watch Jake’s face fall forward against them. Part of him can’t believe you’re really doing this right now despite leaving his messages on read. But you are, and these are the panties that he thought about all last night and most of today. He really meant it when he said that would be the only thing he would be thinking about, and here you are, keeping the promise of giving them to him.
Reaching up and clutching the panties, Jake tries to turn towards you again. 
“Stay,” You say. “And hush.” You lower his mic back into place where he is no longer muted and listen as his friends go from talking shit to starting up another game. 
From behind his chair, you’re a little shocked at how good he is at following what you say. He doesn’t move, but you can hear his breathing and the way he struggles to balance it in order to remain some-what normal sounding to his friends when they address him. His fingers are shaking against his keyboard as the game starts, and you think he’s probably thought about this happening to him hundreds of times before. 
Maybe not with you, but still. 
Gamer boys always want this kind of thing. Some girl prodding and tugging at them, sucking them off under the table as they boast to their friends how they can be getting head and still getting gold damage by the time the match is over. 
All you can think about right now is being the person to fulfill the fantasies you assume he has. More turned on by the idea that Jake must want it so badly from you than admitting how badly you want it to be true. 
 When you reach around him, lying your hand against his lap, he’s already incredibly hard and stares down at it as the countdown screen on his game begins. 
From out of sight, you don’t want Jake to see you. In fact, you want to see how badly he plates this game through this, because it’s not only cute but will actually be fucking hilarious. Especially because it’s the first time you’re moving on him rather than him grinding against whatever you have to offer.
Ignoring the call outs of enemies in game, both of you spiral into a world of your own again when you grab his length from over his sweatpants and just–you just hold him for a moment. The weight of it grows much heavier as he somehow manages to get more hard at the fact that you’re in the room with him. Plus, for Jake at least, your used panties sitting right there only drives his cock further to pulse and beg for your hand. 
“Jesus–” Jake groans when you grab him.
“Jesus is right, you haven’t moved from that fucking building you cuck-” Some guy shouts from his head set.
“Shut the fuck up Heeseung, you’re literally in bronze.” Another man shouts.
Jake is silent save for a sharp inhale when you squeeze your palm around him. He knows if he even tries to talk shit right now all of his friends would just fucking know how desperate and embarrassing he is around you. That’s the last thing he needs.
Finally, after a few moments of palming him through his pants, you dip right in. He doesn’t shy away from it either, spreading his legs from under his desk and lifting his ass up slightly so you can pull the pants down to let his cock spring free. 
You silently gasp noting how Jake is even bigger than the photos gave him credit for, thicker than you genuinely imagined now that you see it from over his shoulder. Jake tries to turn his head this time to look at you, but you’re quick to catch his cheek and turn it back to the screen with a chuckle. 
Gripping him again, Jake sighs into his mic and his friend’s screaming goes silent. You’re quick to lift his mic into the muted position just to offer some sort of escape from embarrassment now seeing that he’s incredibly willing to let you do this while his ego is on the line.
“You want them to hear?” You ask, feeling his hips slightly buck into your grip. That sends shivers down your spine, finally feeling it for the first time.
“I don’t care–” He sighs desperately, thrusting his hips up harder. “Please, just don’t stop.”
The way he says it, for some reason, sounds so fucking broken that you could honestly swirl this chair around and impale yourself on him without so much as a second thought. But you contain yourself, now moving your grip up his length and thumbing over the head to feel the sheer amount of pre-cum spilling out of him
“Alright, Jakey.” You soothe, lowering his mic for the last time and wondering just how much he’s going to let his shithead friends hear.
For a few moments, you gently jerk him off just to see his hips chase your fist. He’s needy in the way he moves his body but very fucking good at acting as you start to count each kill he manages to get through this. 
By the time you hear his friends praise him, you feel a little competitive yourself. Shy, needy, desperate little Jake thinks he can get through a game the very first time you actually touch him? Perhaps he thinks he is giving you what you want, but what you want is to see him fall apart. 
You move your hand faster, watching him from behind as he chokes up and slams his head against the headrest of his chair, nearly knocking the headphones off of him. 
“God,” Jake moans, knowing full well that his friends wouldn’t suspect anything if he says such a thing. 
You know that was for you though, so you continue. The rhythm of your hand moving from a slow drag to something painfully fast and unfathomably good. Jake’s head is spinning, thrusting his hips up and gripping his computer mouse so tightly that he thinks he could crush it in his grip. 
When his pre-cum is essentially drenching your palm, the slide of your hand keeps a fast pace, pulling groans out of him every few seconds. 
Jake can’t hold himself back anymore, slamming his head against the headrest of his seat yet again, this time his headset sliding off of his head and falls into the floor. He lols his head from side to side as he finally lets out a full-throated moan, shooting a hand to your wrist and holding it in place so that he can fuck up into it. 
You gasp at that, his grip harsh and far less gentle than you’d expect. The muffled screams of his friends are blatantly obvious and you can’t bring yourself to care if the mic muted itself during its descent to the floor or not. 
He’s choking each moan that threatens to be too loud, and honestly, you can tell he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He goes from releasing your hand just to stare down at the way you grip him, to grabbing it again and fucking into it harder. 
It’s way too endearing seeing him like this. 
He tries to turn to see you again shortly after, so desperate to kiss you, so desperate just to fucking see what you like like when you’re doing this to him, but you do your best to remain behind him as you grab the base of his cock and cause him to groan in pain.
“Let me see you–” He nearly sobs in a frustrated way, and for a moment you contemplate letting him. 
“Let me hear you.” You respond, keeping that same, painfully tight, grip against him and dragging it up to his head, enveloping it and sending sensitive shocks throughout his body. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jake writhes under the painful grasp, but his hips still chase when you drag your hand back down. 
He’s no longer being quiet, no longer pretending to care about his dead character on the screen, re-spawning and dying every few seconds. He’s a free kill for any enemy player right now and you can tell his friend’s are pissed in the way the screaming from the headset gets louder despite the distance. 
The chat box on screen is being spammed just as aggressively, and Jake can barely even open his eyes to process it. 
“You were playing so well,” You coo out, shifting forward a bit and placing your chin on his shoulder. “What happened, Jakey?” 
He softly moans at the nickname you’ve now used more than once, eyes half open as he glances down at how fast your hand is moving compared to your soft, balanced voice against his ear. He turns his head quickly, trying to catch you off guard, but you pull away.
“Wanna see me so bad, huh?” You chuckle, working him up and knowing that he’s got to be close with the way he shamelessly moans in the most annoyed, frustrated way. 
“Let me kiss you.” He grunts, bucking his hips aggressively, now chasing in full that painful grip you’re keeping against him so well. “I’ll keep my eyes closed, please.”
You contemplate again giving him what he wants, but you figure he’s already getting more than enough. 
“Oh? You’ll keep your eyes closed? Don’t you want to look at me?” 
Jake is desperate now, hands moving to the armrests of his chair as he grips them hard, hips wildly stuttering in your grasp. 
“Fuck, yes.” He lets out, dropping his head with a deep breath and then throwing his head back with an even longer moan. 
You can’t tell if that was him answering you, or simply reacting to what his body is feeling, and you don’t really care. He’s already there, walking on the thin line of orgasm and willing to take whatever it is you give him. He no longer wants anything, he’s just experiencing. 
You watch him from behind very closely, the shiver running from his toes straight to his ears was obvious enough.
“That’s it,” You whisper from behind. “Give it to me.”
Jake’s entire body tenses against the chair, you can feel it stress from the way his legs spread wider and his hips go from quick thrusts to short, drawn-out drags against your palm. The image of him doing that between your legs washes over every single one of your thoughts. He would do that. Burying himself so deeply as he spills out inside of you, thrusting in and slowly dragging his hips out, just to thrust in again to push his seed impossibly deeper.
“That’s so hot,” Jake comments with a deep breath, and only then do you realize the small moan you’d let out during that intense thought of him. Especially as you watch his cum is spill out in loads, leaving a mess all over himself and your hands.
Finally, after making a mess of him, you smile to yourself and do your best to appear not as flustered as you actually are.
Either way, a job well done. 
You opt to make a grand exit, saying nothing after releasing his cock and sauntering out of the room in silence to leave him to his thoughts. You could still hear his friends screaming through the microphone, and he doesn’t even call out after you. Jake must feel on top of the world right now, because you know that you do.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Sunghoon comes home later than he did last time, tired and droopy. He finds himself drawn to you more than usual, noting that your eyes are sparkling a little brighter upon walking through his door. 
You put Jake in the back of your head much like you always tried to do when Sunghoon is around you these days. Your love for your boyfriend is still blatant and honest when you’re next to him, not at all feeling pity for Jake having to see it. Jake should know who it is you love, despite the fact that you jerked him off mere hours ago.
When Sunghoon is next to you, when his arm is around you and his eyes are on you, you don’t question for a second that everything you’ve been doing behind his back will come back on you, and it’ll be well-deserved pain. But there’s still a part of you that hopes you can keep Sunghoon forever and always be happy beside him. You’re actively betraying him, his own flesh and blood is helping you dig this hole deeper and deeper. So deep that Sunghoon can’t even see the bottom where Jake’s got his hands on you. 
Fully intending to keep them both, you find yourself feeling more fulfilled despite the awful moral. Sunghoon isn’t willing to share, but Jake is. 
And you, you don’t have to share.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Saturday was as normal as always. Jake pops in and out of his room, not even once acting as if something suspicious is going on. If anything, Sunghoon is a little more happy to see you spend time with Jake when he’s not in his room.
 It was awkward at first. Jake’s always been shy but it seems like he’s loosened up after realizing you’re a permanent part of the picture for as long as you’re with Sunghoon. He’s endeared by the way you bully his brother the same way he does. 
Even that little crush Jake had on you when he first met you appears to have fallen into more of a sibling-like relationship to Sunghoon. He thought it was cute that Jake had a crush, after all, it’s you. Sunghoon fucking fell head over heels when you gave him attention and wouldn’t be caught dead releasing his grip on you once he asked you to be his girlfriend. The point is, Sunghoon knew Jake had a small crush but was pleased to see it turn into something more casual and comfortable.
 He likes his life, loves his girlfriend, and loves his brother. Nothing could get better than spending time with the two of you, even if Jake jumps up to go be a recluse in his room from time to time.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“Jake,” Heeseung grits through the mic. 
“What?” Jake sighs nonchalantly, throwing his arms behind his head as he smiles to himself through the webcam.
“You should be embarrassed.” Heeseung argues. “We didn’t wanna hear that shit.”
“I muted him.” Jay says with a shrug through his own camera.. 
“Yeah, me too.” Jungwon follows up, all eyes now falling to Heeseung, who is avoiding the camera and scratching the back of his neck with a shrug.
“I was in a tight situation! I couldn’t tab out.” Heeseung defends himself easily, still a darker shade than usual.
“I think she wanted you guys to hear.” Jake laughs quietly, whispering. 
“Why are you whispering?” Jay asks, leaning forward towards his camera as if Jake was about to whisper out again, this time with a deeper secret. 
Instead, Jake shifts his eyes and changes the subject. As much as he would love to tell his friends that he’s managed to get a handjob (not the foot thing) from his brother’s girlfriend, he’s sure they’d have a little more respect for him. But it feels like a betrayal to say it out loud, regardless of how hot the idea is in his head.
“Because my brother is with his girlfriend and it’s weird if they know what happens when they’re not here.” Jake explains, receiving a nod from everyone.
“She left her panties,” Jake now adds in a cheeky voice, removing his hands from behind his head and sitting up from his relaxed position. “Wanna see?”
Heeseung was, obviously, the first to nod his head and Jake didn’t really need the others to agree anyway, because they’re a group of college guys who are always either talking about getting laid or how to raise their rank when playing competitive games.
“Damn,” Jay laughs as he sees the thin fabric come into view. “Are they dirty?” 
“Oh yeah,” Jake boasts, spreading out the fabric and bringing them close to the camera. 
“That’s so gross.” Heeseung waves them off, averting his eyes and trying to pretend he’s not interested.
“Jake’s full of shit.” Jungwon chimes in quickly, only to be shut down by Heeseung’s weird need to defend.
“You heard her talk to him through the mic, there’s no way he’s lying.” 
“Uh, no I didn’t. I had him muted the second I saw his hero standing in the middle of the map without moving.” Jay argues back.
“Well, I lied, I didn’t mute him.” Jungwon finally admits. “Still, though. There’s no way she gave you those.”
Jake can’t stop smiling. The fact that he can barely believe what happened himself is enough not to argue. They’re your panties, that’s your scent in them, and that was your hand wrapped around him yesterday. 
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Waking up on Sunday felt, again, normal. You hadn’t heard Jake through the walls the night before but Sunghoon sure did. He mostly drowned out the sounds by putting in his headphones though, unlike what you would have done. Sunghoon did, however, wake up hard considering the two of you passed out the night before without so much as a lingering hand.
To his dismay, you groan at his roaming hands as he wakes you up. Sunghoon knows you love being woken up this way, but he also knows to stop if you’re making a sound like this over it. 
“What’s wrong?” He says, pulling his hand back and instead, placing it on your waist so that he can pull you closer and into a cuddle. 
You don’t respond, cracking an eye open and immediately feeling your head pound at the sunlight shining through the windows. You feel bad that since thursday, the only intimacy you’ve had has been with Jake despite being in love with the man against you. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that you immediately, physically, feel like shit this morning, you’d be jumping Sunghoon’s bones. 
“Head is pounding.” 
“Ah,” Sunghoon smiles, hugging you against him and rubbing circles against your skin with his thumb. “It’s okay, you can sleep in. I’m gonna go make some breakfast.”
Your boyfriend’s good mood doesn’t go unnoticed, nor does your headache. You take him up on that offer and immediately fall back to sleep.
Later, you wake to Sunghoon gently patting your cheek. 
“You want some food? Might help?” 
You nod, squinting your eyes and sitting up a little too quickly. You glance around as he turns away and heads back towards the kitchen, and then you stretch your arms out. Things feel too fucking normal for you to be doing what you’ve been doing. This headache is well fucking deserved, surely. 
Making your way into the kitchen, you note that Jake’s bedroom door is open but he isn’t anywhere to be found.
“Where’s Jake?” You ask casually, sitting down at the table and rubbing your temples.
“Said something about one of his friends coming to a city nearby and wanting to go hang out with him. Probably Heeseung.” 
Your heart starts beating in your ears at the thought that you really thought Sunghoon wouldn’t know any of Jake’s friends. Sure, you thought that maybe they were just online friends, or maybe people Jake met after Sunghoon moved out of his parent’s house, but you recognize that fucking name. 
Thankfully, you had changed your voice just slightly as you spoke to Jake the other day. Surely this isn’t what would ruin the entire arrangement.
“Ah,” You groan. “Finally we have the house to ourselves and I have to wake up with a migraine? What lousy luck.” 
“It’s okay, really.” Sunghoon smiles, sitting a plate of food down in front of you. “Besides, we both know you like the thrill of needing to be quiet.” 
He’s joking, you know he is, but it was the truth before this whole thing with Jake started. 
“If we really wanted to be alone, I'd be at your apartment every weekend.”Your boyfriend adds, planting a kiss to the top of your head and heading towards the medicine cabinet. “Little weird that it has to be my brother that we are keeping quiet from, but whatever.”
“Didn’t know i’d be this into it, honestly.” You admit, feeling open enough to at least tell him that you’re very into the idea of someone hearing you. You just won't admit that you want it to be Jake.
“I mean, I personally am not into this type of thing. It’s a little uncomfortable for me.” Sunghoon sits down and hands you two painkillers. “But I doubt he’s actually listening. I apologized after the first time and he said he usually just puts in headphones and goes to sleep.”
You hold back the smile of Jake’s blatant lies towards Sunghoon. 
“So, I guess I don’t entirely mind feeding into your little fantasies of being heard, or caught, or whatever.”
Your boyfriend waves off the conversation with a smile, ultimately willing the fact that it is weird to him out of his head. If that was a new thing you realized you liked, the only way you would have found out is by having someone else in the house when the two of you do those things. Unfortunately, Jake’s the reason. 
 In Sunghoon’s head, he’s mature enough to discuss it like an adult with his brother. Guidelines and rules, moving Jake in wasn’t going to change his sex life with you, if anything, he had already told Jake to invest in some decent headphones or earplugs because he’s gonna hear some shit otherwise.
You allow the conversation to die as you work up an appetite. Thankfully Sunghoon is an amazing cook, though he only did it one or two nights a week considering how spent his job makes him feel. You’re thankful he cooked this morning, and even more thankful for these two little pills that will hopefully knock your headache out within the hour.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Come Monday, you’re thankful you get to work from home. You sleep in and try your best not to think about the fact that Sunghoon knows the friends that heard you be intimate with Jake. You’re even more thankful for this week away from your boyfriend’s house because, even though you’ve processed everything, you feel like you should probably be alone for a while and really think about what you’re doing.
When Jake is around or texting you, it’s hard to think straight because you genuinely want him so fucking bad. And when Sunghoon is beside you, or texting you, all you can do is imagine a future with him.
The once bright, clear future of Sunghoon in a tuxedo standing in front of you at some extravagant altar becomes a little more foggy at the thought of where Jake would fit into it. Would he be behind Sunghoon, watching him marry you to start a real life together? Would he be somewhere in the crowd, waiting to object and expose you for the awful girlfriend you are? Or even worse, would he not be there at all? Running away and disappearing never to insert himself into your life or his brother’s life ever again?
You don’t want to think about the future right now. Everything you’ve been doing has been so selfish and so fucking fulfilling that you can’t bring yourself to feel any amount of pity for Sunghoon and the way he trusts you fully. You never once gave him a reason to not trust you, and you think maybe Jake hasn’t given him a reason either. 
But god, he shouldn’t trust either of you at all. He’s at work, making money, living his life with a supposed loving girlfriend all while offering his little brother an ounce of freedom. What does he get in response to his hard work and kindness? His brother wanting to tongue fuck his girlfriend? And worse yet, his girlfriend wants it even more than his brother does? 
Your mind is burning through scenarios all day if you have it in you to feel bad. Another scenario involves you, married to Sunghoon and sneaking Jake out of your bed when Sunghoon returns from work. Even more scenarios of Sunghoon finding out and hating you forever, leaving you and meeting someone better. How could you have them both and keep it going? Is something like that even possible?
Then you get a text.The glaring reality blows right past your head when you’re expecting it to be Jake but you see Sunghoon’s name on the screen. You still feel just as excited though. 
Sunghoon: good news and great news
You: oh? 
Sunghoon: Good news: a co-worker has family issues and had to drop out of the business trip coming up.
You were about to question why that’s good news, but then Sunghoon quickly texts again.
Sunghoon: great news: i am now being asked to attend the event and it could get me a pretty big promotion. 
You: You’re gonna go right?? When is it?
Honestly, the way your heart swells at your boyfriend moving up in the world could knock anyone on their feet. No one would ever guess what you do behind his back, because again, you haven’t lost an ounce of love for this man and you probably never will.
Sunghoon: I leave tomorrow if I accept.
You: how long is it? do you need help packing since it’s such short notice?
Sunghoon: only three days, so i’d be back on friday and still get to see you this weekend
You: it’s a win/win! i can come over tonight since i’m working from home today.
Sunghoon: you good to sleep over and drop me off in the morning at the airport? i can give them an answer now so they can work out the transport and get the tickets transferred to me. 
You: you didn’t need to even ask!! you should have immediately said yes! I’ll be over tonight, i’m proud of you babe! 
Sunghoon: love you :) 
And so there it is. The glaring issue about to become a blatant, full blown affair. And like, you don’t want to get it twisted. You are so fucking proud of Sunghoon and so fucking glad that everything in his life appears to be rushing him straight to major success, but also, he’s going to be gone for three days and that’s three days to try and get over this whole Jake phase. By using Jake. By fucking him, specifically.
It doesn’t help that just a few moments later, presumably after Sunghoon lets Jake know the plan, Jake is texting you.
Jake: Sunghoon’s leaving for 3 days
You: yep 
Jake: ….do i even need to say it
You: nope
Jake: gonna clean my room
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Dropping Sunghoon off is weirdly bitter sweet. His confidence is clearly through the roof as he kisses you goodbye. Even after he walks away, he quickly rushes back to you and asks for a second kiss, citing it’s for good luck. You knew he’d do amazing for this event, even with it so last minute. Everything Sunghoon did was with effort and thought put into it. You’re not the only person who sees it either. 
That was the sweet part anyway. The bitter part is the guilt finally coming to you like it should have weeks ago. The fact that Sunghoon is walking off to get on an airplane and Jake is at home cleaning his room to fuck you in it? It’s obvious that you don’t deserve either of them. 
Still, the guilt hitting you now is unnerving. It took so long to come, and only consumes you when Sunghoon isn’t around to nearly witness the infidelity? Shaking yourself of disgust, you head out of the airport and still find yourself pulling into Sunghoon’s driveway against your better judgement. 
You sit in your car for a moment, thinking back on all of those small moments with Jake, wondering now if you still want him or if those moments were enough to satisfy the curiosity of what could be. 
As expected, with a huff, you accept the fact that even through the guilt, you still want him.
Stepping out of your car and walking up to the door felt too unfamiliar and nerve wracking, especially with the fact that you can hear your heart skip beats and your body melt away into the hole you fucking dug for yourself. However, the moment Jake opens the door and looks at you, before you can even unlock it yourself, every single guilt ridden thought disappears. 
You don’t know what it is about him, and surely you’ve never felt this way before, because goddamn is it a blinding kind of feeling. Thinking back as you look at him, he seems different now despite having the same face and body language.
 Before, Jake was cute with his little crush. Weird even, with the way he lingered for too long to see you kiss his brother. Now, when you look at him, he looks like he isn’t at all the cute, shy little brother. He’s Jake, a man with wants and needs that have your name written all over them. You can’t fucking help yourself, and now being able to indulge yourself fully along side him, Sunghoon is drowned out in the back of your mind, as usual when you find yourself alone with Jake. 
Jake is still shy and timid in the way he moves but he knows just as well as you do what’s about to happen and isn’t at all shying away from the fact that he’s about to fulfill every dirty little thought he’s had about you since he met you. Hell, since he saw photos of you that Sunghoon sent before he ever met you.
On cloud nine, Jake is timid when he, for the first time, makes a move on you himself. It’s shocking that he does it at all if you’re being honest, but you lean into him on instinct. All he does is grab your hand, a touch that wouldn’t raise suspicions at all in Sunghoon if he were to see it, but to you it’s the most intimate thing he could do at this moment. Because he’s leading you, and his eyes are hungry and unable to pull from you. 
Not a single word is said, everything already spoken and understood with nothing more than the look when he opened that fucking door. Jake leads you to his room, and the energy in the air is so electrifying that it scares you. Never has a touch to your hand, or a leading pull to a bedroom made you feel so weightless. 
You think back to when you held his length in your hand, you had all of the power that day. Now, you don’t think Jake realizes what he could get away with. You’re falling into the same mindset you have with Sunghoon, one where you want, need, and could beg to be touched, but you still yourself from falling too far into it. 
Jake is even more gentle when he lets your hand go and turns towards you with a deep sigh, as if he’s preparing his entire being for what’s coming. Both of you like a deer in headlights, as if this wasn’t intentional or planned, you smile at him. 
Jake lets out a nervous laugh at your smile, shaking his head and looking down. He’s already stiff beneath his pants, which are conveniently unbuttoned and unzipped already. Even you, shamelessly wearing a dress with no panties. Sunghoon thought it was for him, and he damn well did fuck you this morning while on a confident-high before you took him to the airport.
You knew Jake could hear it, and he didn’t appear to care because in all fairness, Jake did not give a damn. He knew you weren’t his at that moment, but you fucking would be before the night is up. The next three days, you’re his. Even if he never has you again.
That deer-in-the-headlights look from Jake fades as his eyes take you in without hiding it for the first time. You imagine he will fall apart if he were to trace his hands under your dress and find that you are completely bare, you imagine you would fall apart much faster if he touched you at all.
It happens so fast. Too fast, almost, with the way he steps up to you confidently. You just now realize that he’s taller than you when he skews his head and looks down at your lips. Well, you knew he was taller than you, but at this moment he seems so much bigger than usual. 
 His breathing is uneven as he stares at your lips and you can tell he’s doing his best to be confident because you haven’t made a move towards him at all like you usually would. 
Looking up at him, you want to reach up and grip his hair. His lips are so plush, clearly freshly coated with chapstick. His skin is practically glowing save for the few blemishes that the fringe on his forehead covers, you find yourself wondering if he’s taking this moment to study you too.
“I’m having a really hard time holding back,” Jake whispers out, inches from your face. “This is going to be embarrassing for me.”
“Don’t hold back.” You encourage him without doubt, hoping that he can break past that last little boundary the two of you haven’t crossed yet. The one where he can kiss you, touch you, have you. Only because you can’t bring yourself to do it at this moment, for some reason.
The feeling of his lips touching yours is more bruising than you think he intended them to be, but the desperate feeling was all the same as your own, you think. Never have you actually stopped to think of kissing him or how he would go about it. Like running in blind, you’re learning that Jake knows what to do with his tongue, how to pace himself despite not wanting to, and how to reach up and hold your face in such a way that you feel like this could very well be a dream.
A perfect dream. 
His hands are cupping your face though, you can feel the way his fingertips press into your cheeks as he makes his attempts to deepen the kiss. And fuck, he’s kissing you like you’re his girlfriend. He still moves his lips in a hungry and desperate way though, in a way that has you struggling to breathe by the force of it alone. 
When his hands drop from your face and fall to your waist, every new place he touches feels like it’s set ablaze. You press forward against his chest, walking him back as you lick into to kiss, all the way until he falls back on his bed with a happy and dazed ‘oof’ sound. 
Still, his face is slack as he stares up at you, eyes struggling to stay trained on your face for too long as you begin to take off your jacket and reach over to pull at his shirt. So badly do you want to see him shirtless again, and he doesn’t argue, eagerly lifting it off of his body and lying back again. 
Now that the initial intimacy has been established, you finally come back to yourself, thinking more clearly and finding a small list in your head of things you want and need to do for him. Starting with letting him really look at you.
“I know how much you like my panties–” You smile, standing in front of him and trying to keep your eyes averted from his length threatening to break through his pants. 
“Yes, god, let me see it.” Jake urges you, tilting his head with a swallow and training his eyes on your thighs. 
He thinks you must be wearing the prettiest pair today, for him, not for his brother. But when you lift your leg and straddle him, his face contorts to confusion and then to pleasure when you sit against his cock. Of course, with the fabric covering his length, he still can’t tell that you’re not actually wearing any panties at all.
“You wanna see?” You ask for his clarification, bunching your dress up in your hands and preparing to lift it so he can see your bare folds sitting against him. 
Jake blinks at you, nodding his head and nibbling on his bottom lip. He’s doing everything in his power not to reach up and grab your waist just to guide you on him. He’s afraid to move too fast, he’s afraid to embarrass himself with how fucking desperate he is for you right now.
“Look.” You say, nodding between your legs and lifting your dress.
“Oh god,” Jake gasps as his eyes focus on the fact that you’re leaving a small wet spot against his pants. 
That’s your pussy on him. 
Without a second thought his hands are on your waist, pushing and pulling you forward and backwards on his lap. You blink hard at the sensation of the fabric rubbing against your lips harshly, and then open your eyes to look at him again.
He is still staring between your legs, almost losing himself to this alone. Then again, it’s the first time he’s ever seen you bare and he cannot get past the fact that Sunghoon gets to see it whenever he fucking wants to. 
“I can feel it–” Jake chokes back in a happy groan, referring to your slick seeping through his pants and onto him. 
You smile at him, now moving your hips on your own as you pull his hands away and push them to lay above his head. If he thinks this is good, you want to see how fast he reaches for you again.
It’s so easy when you lift yourself up, and incredibly cute in the way his eyes follow your pussy when you lift. He doesn’t even realize that you shove his sweats down and sit right back down, this time coating him in full with your slippery folds. 
“God, fuck,” He moans in disbelief, and just as expected his hands shoot to your waist and hold you down against him. You’re not sure if it’s intentional or not, but he’s incredibly sexy in the way he moves without thinking. 
“Fuck?” You question cutely, forcing your hips to slide up his length despite him trying to hold you there. 
“How are you already so wet?” He questions in a groan, still trying to process the fact that this is actually happening. His grip on you loosens, letting you move and instead grabbing the hem of your dress himself and holding it up so he can watch you slide against him better. 
“How are you so big?” You try to compliment back, feeling him between your folds and wondering just how deep he could fuck you if he so wanted to. “So, so big.” You groan out this time, feeling the head of his cock bumping against your clit every few seconds.
Jake obviously doesn’t answer, his fingers are gripping your dress so tightly and his eyes are burning the image of you doing this into his head. He never wants to forget this moment of feeling you against him for probably the first and last time, because in all realness, this can’t happen again if he thinks too hard about it. 
“I want to fuck you so bad,” He admits suddenly, out of breath. “Just this once, please.” 
You nod cutely, swiping his hands away from your dress and lifting it off of you in full. His eyes are now glued to your tits and whatever it was he was saying is long forgotten as he watches them jiggle when you slide up against him again.
The way he shuts up is entirely too arousing. You can see him thinking about you, practically able to see him process every part of your body on top of him. 
“Take your pants off, Jakey.” You finally say, frustrated that clothing always gets in the way of things. 
He does as he’s told when you stand to your feet in wait, and instantly he’s lifting himself and grabbing you, pulling you right back on him. 
“You’re so fucking hot,” Jake whines, pushing your hips against him and keeping himself upright so that your tits are pressed right up against his own, careful not to fall back against the mattress so he can plant his lips against your neck. “Oh my god, you have no idea.”
You feel a bite and pull back from him, hips stilling in short panic.
“Don’t–” You scold him, and he simply nods and goes back to kissing against your neck and shoulder, because if that’s the only thing he can’t do in this situation, he’d be a damn idiot to argue with you about it.
“Right, wouldn’t want him knowing that I got you this wet, right?” Jake mocks the situation as a whole as his confidence blooms, using reality as a form of ego boost, hoping to god that you lean into it rather than run from it. “He’d know I do it better.”
It makes you a little angry, but you get it. Jake’s confidence must be through the roof because never would you have imagined him speaking to you like this, or mentioning his brother at all at a time like this. 
“Prove it and maybe I’ll play along.” You try to challenge him, but you know that he might actually be right. 
His size rivals his brother’s, but can he work it the same way? Can the shy, timid little brother actually satisfy you the way your boyfriend does?
Jake pulls back from kissing your neck only for a moment, moving to your lips and wincing at the feeling of your folds sliding against him still, maybe he did get a little too cocky there. 
“Prove it?” He breathes against your lips, gripping your waist tighter and guiding you up. 
You already know what he’s doing and don’t shy away from it. Usually there’s foreplay, and you’re sure he wanted to do more than just fuck you, but too little too late. You’re hungry for it and so is he, if the sounds between you are enough to go by. 
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lift yourself and allow his hand to disappear between the two of you. You can feel him position himself right at your entrance and all you need to do is sink down. 
You lend a pause, staring at him for a moment. Looking straight into his eyes and recognizing that for the first time in over two years now, you’re about to fuck someone that isn’t Sunghoon. 
He stares back at you with anticipation, and when you sink down just a tiny bit, he’s lunging his lips forward and kissing you again so desperately that any doubt in your mind withers away with all that guilt you know you shouldn’t be ignoring. 
Continuously as you sink down inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out in a searing type of pleasure, Jake just groans into your mouth with wet kisses. You can feel his chest heave against you as he feels your walls start to envelop him and when you’re finally seated, he pulls you down with him as he falls against the mattress.
There, in a hug, his mindless kissing becomes even more vacant as he holds you in place, fucking his hips up and into you in an aggressive pace without giving you any time to adjust. His lips release from yours and his moans come out strangled, breathless, and entirely desperate for you.
He’s deeper inside of you than any man has ever been able to reach without the aid of a toy, and the head and thickness of it is far better than any plastic could ever be. You imagine you sound just as desperate as he does right now. Unable to wiggle in his grasp, you just take it. You were well versed in that, at least.
Jake holds you there for at least a full minute, feeling you clenching and drenching his cock in a way that makes the slide easy and pleasurable for him. His hips can move much faster this way, but the fear of cumming too quickly forces him to slow his movements and open his eyes in a breathy moan.
Your legs are spread out over his own, his cock is buried into you completely, and you fucking just take it? God, No wonder Sunghoon is in love with you. 
Jake looks at you lovingly, wishing so badly that his brother wasn’t in the way of having this all the time. And then? his arms release you and he’s lifting your face with one of his hands, thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. 
Jake’s arms release you from the hug and he uses one hand to lift your face.
“Sorry, I just–” He says before getting a look at your face. Glancing between both of your empty eyes, he ends up losing any thought in his head when he notes how blown your pupils are, face still contorted in a silent moan as you start to grind yourself against him. Chasing the pressure he was just slamming into you. 
What he was gonna say was that he was sorry he lost control for a second, but what he ends up saying now is “Fuck, I want this so bad.” 
Despite that Jake is getting everything he wants at this moment, all he can do is look at you and watch you grind your clit against his pelvic bone, chasing a pleasure that he knows you’re feeling intensely right now. He thinks of himself in pity, all those nights of wanting exactly this and never knowing that he actually fucking gets to do it.
Without thinking, Jake doesn’t even know why he does it, but he keeps his cock buried deeply into you and knocks you over. He follows your body, adjusting himself behind you into the big spoon position and pulling your leg up to drape over his hip. 
There, he slips out of you only slightly to hear you whine at the loss. You’ve gone so silent save for moaning and he thinks he’s in love with you. So fucking in love.
He makes quick work to stuff you again and smiles at the way you throw your head back, opening your pretty and glistening eyes just for a split second to look at him. 
One hand now reaches around you and cradles one of your tits, the other snaking between your legs and experimentally tapping against your clit. 
“That’s right,” He boasts, trying his best not to drool as your droopy eyes struggle to stay on him for too long. “Look at me.” 
“Damn, Jake,” You manage to say in an aroused laugh, realizing that he’s really fucking you in the spooning position now? Of course he fucking would. It’s such an intimate position, and the angle, you could argue, is one of the best you think you’ve ever felt. 
Paired with his words? Goddamn.
“Hm?” He hums against your shoulder once he lays his head there, feeling your body jerk as he fucks his length into you repeatedly. “Feels good?” He asks, moaning himself this time at the way you close your legs around his hand and grind back against him.
He’s quick to abandon your clit to push your legs open again, draping it right back in the same spot over his own hip. He can imagine how spread out you look, despite not being able to see it in this position. He’s heard time and time that women like this angle, and if your sounds are anything to go by? He can say that it’s absolutely fucking true.
This time, when you reach back and pull his face to yours, now kissing him with more force than you have before, he loses composure again. Any chance of his focus being on you and you alone is now long fucking gone, baby. 
Even as he tries to put his fingers against your clit again, the movements are messy, messy, messy. Thankfully, his hips are fucking you with full intent now. He’s trying his best to control how good he feels so that way he can at least try to focus on your pleasure more, but god, fuck.
After one particularly deep thrust, you shiver and he fucking loses it.
“Oh my god, I found it?” He asks, experimentally pressing his hips up the same way. “Right here? Baby, yeah?” He continues, repeatedly slamming you with the head of his cock bumping just where you need it.
“Fuck-” You choke out, your body jolting without intent again and feeling shockwaves of what you can only describe as mini orgasms shooting throughout your muscles. “Ahh- Jake, don’t stop!” You frantically encourage him, mouth falling slack against his lips now, giving in to the pleasure and now losing all ability to speak at all. 
He does, pressing his hips harder this time, a grunt spilling from his bitten lips with every forceful thrust. Repeatedly hitting the soft spot inside of you, over and over again, ultimately sending you into a world of something you’ve, strangely, never felt before in terms of sex. 
Jake watches you roll your head back, moaning out with a slack and somewhat pained face as he does it. He cannot fucking believe he found your g-spot on the first try and he will be damned to stop now. 
He focuses now, grunting at the way your walls clench him so tightly each time he hits your spot. He’s determined to make you cum, make you babble out strings of his name and how good he feels. He needs you to feel so good that you’ll never think twice about letting him do this again, and again, and again, no matter how close you could be to getting caught. 
His hips are going at a pace faster now than he thought possible, and with his fingers messily working your clit, paired with his cock driving into the single most pleasurable spot inside of you, you find your body tensing up and your mind erasing every thought and memory. 
It’s so much to feel at once but you feel too weak to stop him for event the smallest moment of collecting yourself. 
“Ah, you’re squeezing me–” He breathes out, words broken with his own moans as he does his best to keep pace to work you through it. “So tight–” He manages to breathe out again, not yet realizing that you’re quite literally about to cum all over him.
And you want to. So you fucking do. You cum hard around him, clenching him so tightly that Jake stills his hips in disbelief at the way your body moves when you release. He can barely get the words out when he speaks, feeling you drench him with liquid fire. “Are you–?” He chokes out, jerking his hips back and trying to pull out of you for his own release.
“Do not pull out,” You groan as your orgasm continues to choke you of your breath. “Feels so good, just–” You cry out, pressing yourself back and enveloping the inches of him that he had pulled from you. “I wanna feel it.” 
“Fuck. fuck.” He moans out louder this time, hands gripping your waist and holding you against him as he shakes behind you. You can feel him twitch inside of you as he shoots those thick, white ropes of cum into you. 
For a brief moment you remembered when he released from your hand, pressing himself slowly and roughly into your first. 
You were right. 
Jake buries himself as deep as he can go, only grinding back a few centimeters before pressing himself flush against you as another spurt paints the flesh inside of you. You feel so full, and he’s packed so tightly in you that you genuinely think this is the first time you’ve ever actually felt a man cum inside of you. Like really feel it. Every fucking pulse of it. 
Unfortunately, just like that, you feel empty with how fast he pulls out of you. You’re in shock, actually. 
“Where are you going?” You ask in a cracked and panicked voice, looking behind you as he backs away from you momentarily. 
“I��” He pauses, looking at you and the way your eyes look back at him in a different type of panic. “Don’t know.” He says, getting back onto the bed and reluctantly putting his arms around you in a hug.
“I don’t know how to like, end this.” He admits against your shoulder, still trying to steady his breath from the orgasm he had ten seconds ago. 
Instantly, Jake found himself in a post-nut state of guilt and kind of scared of how much he adored fucking you. 
“End it?” You ask, pulling away from him. “You want to stop?”
“You don’t?” He asks, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. 
“I mean, we both know what we are doing…” You trail off, sitting yourself up and fully aware that the guilt will always hit you at random times, but still, you want Jake. “And we still kept doing it.”
“Yeah, but–” 
“But?” You ask, turning your body to face him as he sits himself up now. The nakedness of your bodies is not at all embarrassing at this moment. 
“Jake, I don’t think I can like, not want you if you still want me.”
He nods his head reluctantly, wondering if this is you offering the fact that you’re willing to straight up, blatantly, and shamelessly cheat on Sunghoon with him.
“Ugh,” Jake puts his face in his hands and then runs his fingers through his hair. “This is so fucked up.”
“Yeah, it is.” You admit, leaning towards him. “But If we never talk about it…,”
“No, no! I wouldn’t.” Jake throws his hands up defensively. “I only feel bad when you’re not here.” He says, now questioning himself. “I don’t think I’d be able to like, not ever do this again.”
“So we are both in this same little fucked up boat?” You ask. 
“I guess so.” He laughs at himself, and then at you. “If he ever finds out, you know i’ll be found in a ditch somewhere, right?”
You laugh, despite it being the worse fucking joke in the world. Running hand in hand with Jake into a fire that you both fucking searched for is kind of…scary? But also elating?
“Well, I’m not gonna fucking tell him.” You say, pressing the important matter at hand. “The point is, Jake, I need you to understand that I’ve never cheated on anyone.”
Somehow, he lightens the mood.
“Damn, I must be special.”
You guess he is.
 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
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yanderenightmare · 3 months
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Notice
I've been a little absent as of late, and though I never really feel a need to explain myself, I thought I would take a moment to answer some of your questions as to what I'm up to and where I've been because this time, I haven't actually been an a break, I've actually been writing like crazy because I plan on publishing a BOOK.
Yes. I know. Craziness.
This book is going to be a collection of short stories, 20 (I think) in total, and will be called Marie's Collection of Erotic Thrillers (it's a long title, ik, but I kinda dig it, though I haven't really decided on it yet).
I think this first book will be an edition of many in the same series. This first book specifically will be an edition called "College Years" and will, as the name suggests, feature stories around the theme of college. Not just classes, classmates, and professors, but that time of our lives in general, so getting into trouble with the police and making dumb decisions regarding the wrong boys etc.
As a rude anon pointed out a little while back, some of my stories, as of late, have been lacking a so-called smutty continuation. And though I absolutely dunked on that anon, there was actually some truth to what they were saying FOR A REASON.
You've probably already guessed, but these stories and their smutty continuations will be present in this new book, including the continuation of Perfect Strangers—the roommate fic—as well as others—among many brand new stories I've never published here.
All of which will feature many different sexy characters such as the strict headmaster who threatens to expel you, hot professors who'll give you an A in exchange for a little something, flirty bullies who don't take no for an answer—as well as fluffier things like nerdy tutors who'll gladly do your homework for you, sweet boyfriends, childhood friends, and clingy fuckbuddies.
I hope you all will support me in this new venture. And, of course, I will let all of you know when this book is up for sale—hopefully on as many platforms as possible. I'll be using draft2draft for this process, and as of now, I think I'll only be making it purchasable as an ebook, but that might change.
The next question you all might be asking is whether I'll be completely signing off from Tumblr, to which I answer, of course NOT. I'll still be writing drafts here and there, but longer works will most likely be reserved for future publishing. I'm hoping "College Years" will be on elf many editions to "Marie's Collection of Erotic Thrillers"
Future editions I'm already thinking of will be one disclosing tales within an Omegaverse. Then, of course, I'll have to make one purely showcasing yanderes, which I think I'll call "Nightmare ed." or "Lovesick ed." or something.
As you all can tell, I'm really excited for this. I hope it will all turn out well. If not, I'll be back on this website acting like nothing ever happened, probably hahaha.
Anyway, I'll be happy to answer any questions regarding this! Hope I have your support just as you've supported me all these years! I really appreciate all your kind words. Even though I don't always post or reply to them, I cherish them. Love you guys!
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rookiesbookies · 6 months
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Please I need more strength kink like you wrote for König but for the text of the COD men. Does Soap show off and lift heavier when he sees you saunter into the gym? Does Ghost try not to pay attention as you stare? I am down bad for these boys
So this is the most recent ask Ive gotten but dont fret my other requesters, yalls are taking more time bc they’re longer form pieces (I dont want to spoil but honeymoon/consummation night with Ghost (doing some research for this one), some Konig wifey bits (there’s two or three), and Ghost’s wife wearing his mask) Im so excited you all are interacting with me I just wanna say. I love you all *MUAH* big kiss.
Also I took Keegan off this one bc I don’t think I have a lot of Keegan fans reading? (ik I love him tho) so if anyone wants it just put a comment and I’ll write one and edit it so its in here.
Edit right here: I put Keegan down at the bottom. Dw Keegan girlies he’s here now.
Another edit: I put Krueger bc a reblog asked for it
Without much more here’s:
Strength Kink with the 141
Masterlist is pinned as always, also let me know if yall want any as full blown fics.
Price
Price is an “old dog” as he calls himself. He knows he’s getting softer, the wrinkles are setting in, he doesn't quite have the body he used to as a LT. Kinda got a dad bod after adopting 3 boys.
First time he sees you drool over him? He is down fucking bad. Will do anything to see his sweet lady all red in the face over him again.
Fucking saunters over to you, hits you with “you can feel if ya like, love. Go on.” just holds his arms away from his chest while he’s in his tank top.
If you take him up on this offer (and I assume yall are dating at this point) and even just grab at a peck, he is tense. His abs are tight, his butt is clenched, he is doing it all to seem like he still has his young and sharp LT body.
He knows you dont care and love his dad bod and all his soft pillowy goodness but sometimes he feels like the pillsbury dough boy.
Absolutely would pick you up and carry you bridal style at any chance.
Tells you he’s “just practicing” however he is very clearly showing off.
If you come find him at the gym to drool all over him, that max he was only supposed to do one of per set, he is not repping.
“John, are you sure- I’ve never seen you lift this much you look red-”
“I'm alright, love, just doing my reps trying to set a new pr.” Little do you know that by repping this, this is his new pr.
Gaz and Soap are sitting there mouth open because Price has never done that and not fallen over and now he just KEEPS. GOING.
And Price’s wife just keeps drooling over him as Simon spots the poor guy.
(This is what i mean btw)
Soap
The worst about it of them all.
I'm telling you right now, if you have an oral fixation on his muscles, he will mate for life like a swan. Because if you mark up his muscles he will do EVERY SINGLE WORK OUT shirtless until Ghost is like “Johnny. You look like a slut and smell like a whore with all that cologne. We’re in the bloody gym.”
He will walk around shirtless in the tightest sweatpants to show off his thighs and abs to you.
Will bench press you.
Put your weight on the hip thrust and will call you over or send videos of him doing it.
If you’re sitting somewhere he will just pick you up and move you for the hell of it under the excuse he wanted to sit there just to see you get red.
If you compliment his body once, I'M TELLING YOU ONE TIME, he will buy the TIGHTEST shirts imaginable around the house to show off his shoulders, back, pecs, biceps, and abs.
If you even mention having a bad day, your face is going between his pecs. He also absolutely can do the thing where he can flex them one at a time and he does it 24/7 for fun.
Catch him planking at the gym?
Feeling bold?Let’s shimmy under the poor bastard to look up at him.
“Do push ups.”
“Bonnie, the fuck you mean-”
“Come down, get a kiss, and go back up?”
“And if I fall? Which I won’t but I gotta ask.”
“Can’t feel any worse than when you dive onto the bed to wake me up in the mornings.”
He’s floored. Goes down, gets his kiss, comes up.
Price has watched Soap do more pushups than he ever has outside of a punishment when he was in basic training. Johnny has half the mind to let himself drop, smoother you in sweaty hugs and kisses. But he doesn’t. Not until he’s shown off. It’s embarrassing how much sweat is dripping from him though. He’ll just say you both need a shower.
Ghost
Totally doesn't flex when he hugs you.
Oh you think he does?
If you ask him, you’re wrong. Simon is the most casual of them all.
He’ll just randomly pick you up.
Like throw you over his shoulder, hold you like a koala, bridal style, you name it. Unlike Price, who is more careful about it, Simon has been doing exercises to work on his balance so he can safely carry you down a flight on stairs.
If he catches you staring, its over for him. He’s blushing under his lil mask, acting like he doesnt see you.
If you walk up and open your mouth to talk to him, he’s not listening to a word of that blabbery. He’s focused on the way you watch his legs while he’s in the leg press. How if he flexes a bit more you have the pause so you don’t choke on your words.
If you’re the bold on and you get down to the level of his head because he can’t easily escape this machine right now to say something. I'm thinking like a “Simon, I’m going to need a thigh riding session at 1800 hours. Put that on your damn schedule.” And just walk out. Don’t elaborate.
He’s struggling to get out of the machine, considering chasing after you, possibly having a stroke over it. He’s so flustered he’s down right gasping for air. If he didn’t have shit to do today he’d scoop you up and show you want all these muscles could do just to get you to feel like how flustered he is.
Konig
(see the fic about his wife seeing him lift, its on my masterlist (its pinned))
Gaz
By the time you’ve started dating, you know Gaz is jacked. Just look at him ffs. Anyone could see it.
So you do the only reasonable thing and insist on being his gym partner.
And in turn he will insist on spotting your squats.
If you get so nervous you fail a set his plan springs into action. Bro has it lifted in one hand. He doesn't care if it's a lot. He WILL be lifting it in one hand just so you can see how strong he is.
“Kiss for your savor?” He asks.
“Sure.” You reply, pecking his lips.
But no no no.
“Love, I meant you’re actual savor.” He’d say, flexing that one arm and pointing to it.
Just roll your eyes and do it. It’s easier.
He is GLOWING for the rest of the day. He will now take any and all opportunities to lift heavy things for you.
That big box? Lifted. Come kiss his muscles. Cuz if you don’t he's picking you up and putting you in air jail for being ungrateful.
I feel like because Gaz is so lean its kinda a sleeper build situation? Could be completely using that term wrong but IDC.
Lowkey loves nothing more than you feeling up his abs under his shirt when yall are going to bed. Like your hands feel so nice on them when he’s flexing extra hard so they’re rock solid for you.
First time yall cuddled he almost passed out because he was trying to keep his muscles flexed for so long.
Edit: here’s Keegan
Keegan
Keegan was always walking around the house in the sluttiest tank tops and the lowest waist line sweatpants you’ve ever seen.
He had been showing off since he first met you, so I’ll tell you how it happened.
What did he wear on your first date? Tight ass t shirt and a leather jacket with black jeans.
He essentially was giving a strip show when he slowly took off that jacket, made sure you were watching when he did it with a smug look.
“What wrong, doll? Distracted?” He was definitely flexing hard. Pecs and biceps on full display and don't get me started on how he was clenching to get his abs to show through.
He made sure to get real close to.
Oh dear is that a dirty puddle, let him just… yk… casually pick you up to carry you over the smallest puddle ever.
And when he’s at the gym? You are getting tons of selfies. Those videos of him curling weights that are slightly too heavy all because he knows you like the sound of the groans he makes as he struggles to lift it. Oh he is hip thrusting your weight and a half, so you know you’ll never be too heavy. There’s a video he sent that was 10+ minutes of just him thrusting your weight. You honestly thought it was looped.
Oh and he carries your weight when he runs on the treadmill so he knows he and run and keep you safe if need be.
Here’s Krueger (i got carried away, enjoy)
Krueger:
Sebstian knows he’s already strong.
Picking you up and benching you is his favorite hobby. The way you can't help but giggle and he has to scold you to stop wiggling.
He’s always throw around his weight with you. He knows he’s a big. He loves to lay on you to stop you from moving.
Loves to have you lay on his torso with the weight at his hips as he works on his hip thrusts. Got kicked out of a gym because it was dangerous so he got weights to do it at home. Will do it shirtless so you can trace his tattoos.
Definitely has never told you he committed murder because he doesn’t want you to stop looking at him like he’s your savior as you rub his sore muscles.
God he loves having you rub his muscles, he just tries not to drool as you rub his calves and biceps with all the force your hands can muster to gently rub the knots away. One time he felt so good he almost cried as you rubbed one out of the back of his neck, he got so bricked he couldnt help it he felt like he was gasping for air the pleasure was so intense.
He’d never tell you that tho, no he’d rather die and speak up and tell you how good it feels when your massage his muscles while planting small kisses after every knot you work out. Definitely going to keep asking you to work his aches away… wonder if he can convince you he has a knot in his dick, no no wouldn’t do that to you not yet.
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mint-yooxgi · 5 months
Text
Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader
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Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab
Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut
Pairing: Mingi X Reader
Words: 7,327
Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI
Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.
P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.
A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~
Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?
P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!
Mini Masterlist
An annoyed sigh leaves his lips at the incessant chatter he hears around him. Low whispers rise in volume until the dull buzz of voices consumes him, interrupting his post meal relaxation. Irritation mars his features, his brow tugging downwards as he pulls the broken sliver of bone he had been using to pick at his teeth with out of his mouth.
“What is with your incessant whining?” 
All Mingi had wanted to do was relax after dinner. In peace, within the confines of his makeshift encampment at the heart of his battalion, but it seems there’s been a commotion at the far edge.
“Humans, General.” One of his underlings, a vice-captain under his command, Darius, hisses. “They say they want to make a deal.”
Mingi scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Not too bright, are they?”
“When have humans ever been known to be smart?” Darius snickers.
Mingi heaves a long sigh, standing to his feet. “Given the length of this interaction, I can’t trust any of you to be competent enough to end this quickly.”
“They’re persistent, General.” He replies, flinching back as Mingi turns his sharp-eyed gaze to him.
“You let them think their words had any merit of importance to us.” The redcap general snaps. “No wonder they’re being so uncooperative.”
Striding through the encampment, the whispers finally come to a halt. A dead silence surrounds his soldiers as Mingi strolls through their ranks, eyes zeroing in on the small gathering of frail humans. Darius rushes along behind the proud general, whom stands a good eight feet tall. The tallest amongst his redcap companions.
A red sash is tied around Mingi’s bicep, alerting all to his rank within the gathered redcaps. There is a clear air of respect the others hold for him as he walks passed, holding his head high, no falter in his steps. Some even go so far as to look upon him in awe while others incline their head out of respect.
Reaching the edges of his encampment, Mingi scowls. “What’s the big idea here?”
“Ah, General!” Lias turns to him, a malicious grin tugging at the younger captain’s lips. “These humans insist on making a trade with us.”
“How did they even find us in the first place?” Mingi darts his gaze over to the three standing before him, just over the threshold of their protection line.
A woman seems to be holding another in her arms. The one with her head down doesn’t say much, but the one holding her trembles as she meets Mingi’s gaze. The male, slightly taller than the woman being held, stands a little straighter.
“We know mushroom rings will bring us where we want to be, or rather, to whom.” He replies, almost defiantly. “You just so happened to be the closest in the area.”
“Why are you wasting our time?” Mingi growls, teeth bared over much too sharp fangs.
“Please,” the woman holding the other in her arms seems desperate as she attempts to take a step forward.
That’s when he notices: the tall women is unconscious, being held up by the other. He quirks a brow, unaware a frail human such as the small one could ever be so strong.
“We just want to make a deal.” The man states, rather firmly.
Mingi’s gaze darts between the two humans.
“They want us to take their daughter for them.” Lias snorts, Darius laughing along with him. “As if we would care for such a useless mortal.”
“We know a little about your kind.” The woman continues. “Please, we know she’ll be better off here. We don’t want anything in return, just her safety.”
“She can earn her place.” The male adds. “She can look after herself, just please, take her with you.”
“We’re not about to gain something you don’t want.” Mingi retorts harshly, crossing his arms over his chest. “She has no use to us.”
“That’s not it at all.” The male is quick to shake his head, attempting to take a step towards the gathered redcaps only to be greeted by snarls and snapping fangs. He freezes. “Please-“
“We don’t need one of your kind slowing us down.” Mingi states, narrowing his eyes at the way the unconscious woman sways slightly. Honestly, he’s surprised this woman hasn’t fallen over yet, or caused the other holding her up to collapse under her seemingly dead weight.
“She won’t slow you down!” The woman is quick to protest.
“Watch your tongue, mortal.” Darius snaps. “This is no ordinary general you’re speaking to.”
The woman bows her head, cowering back and holding the other tighter to her chest. Though, due to the height difference, it looks quite awkward. A fact only echoed by the snickers Mingi can hear echo out behind him.
“Oh, come on,” Lias tilts his head slightly, a mischievous gleam in his gaze. “This could be fun. We could always use another pack mule.”
Some more snickers are heard from around the area, along with the snapping of jaws in agreement. The harsh clicking of fangs only rises in sound, and Mingi can smell the spikes of fear from the two conscious humans. A taste he absolutely revels in.
“The human would be safe with us from whatever outside forces you’re referring to.” Lias continues, his lips stretching widely over all too sharp teeth.
Mingi spares a glance around at his men, noting their sudden change in attitude. The eager gleams he sees throughout the crowd have him heaving a sigh.
“Very well,” he turns, beginning to walk away from this whole matter. He’ll let his men have their fun, and with any luck, the human will be dead come morning. “She’s your responsibility, though. If she survives.”
A cheer rises up through the surrounding redcaps as the tall women gets torn from the other’s arms and dragged across the protection barrier. Mingi thinks nothing of the way a faint smell of blood rises on the air, knowing his men are probably already having their fun after bringing the human properly into their realm. The other two have already been sent back, their memories altered forever. If they even remember having a daughter at all would be a miracle.
Entering his own private tent, Mingi settles into his favourite chair. Kicking his feet up onto a little stump, he leans back, relaxing into the evening chill that begins to settle over the land. They’ve still got a long ways to go to return to their keep, the scouting mission having taken a lot out of them. The rogue redcaps they had been hunting have all been dealt with. Traitors, every last one of them. The fight they had put up was gruesome, but as always, Mingi and his men came out on top. 
Despite it all, some of his men still have energy to burn as he hears the familiar hooting and hollering of his subordinates last long into the night.
***
The next day, Mingi wakes to the encampment practically all cleaned up. Some of his men are finishing last minute preparations for travel, their bags packed and stored for easier maneuvering. All that’s left is to secure his own lodgings for the next leg of their journey.
“The human finally woke up.” Darius informs Mingi as he steps to the head of the line.
“She’s not dead?” Mingi quirks a brow, barely bothering to scan the gathered ranks to see if he can spot the women he saw last night.
“We figured we could use her for some entertainment-“ at Mingi’s sharp glare, Darius stops himself. “She’s surprisingly stronger than she looks. We’ve loaded her with a few packs and told her to carry them for us, or else she won’t like the outcome.” The vice-captain shrugs. “She complied.”
Mingi hums to himself, turning towards the direction they’ll be setting off in in a few minutes. He finds it odd for a human to be so complacent. All of the stories he’s heard contradict such simplistic actions. He was expecting screaming, and an attempt to run the first moment she regained consciousness. 
Even more shocking is the fact that you’re still alive.
“Don’t let it go on too long,” Mingi shoots him a look out of the corner of his eyes. “Have your fun, but make sure she doesn’t slow me down.”
“Of course, General.” Darius nods, saluting him before running off to finish some last minute things.
Quietly, Mingi observes his battalion. He can see Lias barking orders at some subordinates to finish packing the rest of the camp quickly. Others appear to be scrambling about, and true to Darius’ word, Mingi spots that same tall woman from last night standing off to the side.
There’s nothing special about you. At least, from what Mingi can tell. You stand upright, spine straight with three packs carried on your figure. Their bulk simply adds to your own, nearly drowning you in their sheer size. Your face looks worn, and tired, but you move around where they instruct you to without complaint. 
Mingi just hopes you can keep up with them.
A few minutes later, the redcaps are on the move. Multiple shoot you looks of disgust as they run passed, growling lowly in your direction. Some even go to far as to purposely run into you, spitting on you as they knock you over in your attempts to keep pace with the company. 
It isn’t more than an hour into the morning when you start to fall behind.
Mingi heaves out a sigh, smelling the faintest bit of blood again in the air. A scent not uncommon in a group of redcaps, given their premise. Though, what truly annoys him is the subtle limp you attempt to hide as he marches over to you at the very rear of his guard.
Again, his men part for him silently. The simple power he exudes enough to silence even the rowdiest of the bunch.
“Are you that incompetent that you do not know how to walk properly, mortal?” He sneers, irritation clear on his features.
“I can walk just fine.” You reply bluntly.
“Then, keep up.” He snaps, turning so as not to waste another word on you for the moment.
With Mingi’s back to you, he fails to notice the harsh glare you send his way, but his subordinates do.
A harsh slap rings out through the forest, a dull thud heard soon after.
“You dare look upon our general with such vile contempt in your eyes?” Lias’ voice booms out through the surrounding redcaps, catching Mingi’s attention.
He freezes, turning to spare a glance over his shoulder.
There you rest, face down on the ground as you attempt to push yourself up. Your clothes are even more disheveled than before, dirt smearing your cheek. Yet, that harsh look still rests upon your face, even as the smell of blood becomes more prominent in the air.
“I didn’t ask for this.” You keep your voice low, but still clear enough for everyone around you to hear.
“Well, get used to it, Sweetheart,” Lias hisses, tugging you harshly back to your feet by the back of your neck. “You’re no better than a pet, now.”
You say nothing, instead opting to purse your lips. Your eyes narrow as you watch Lias retreat from you, hands fisted around the straps of the packs you carry as your whole body seems to tremble. 
If Mingi didn’t know any better, he’d say you’re angry.
No… not angry. Disappointed.
Turning back to face front, Mingi decides to ignore you for the rest of the day. You’re not his responsibility, and how his subordinates treat you is truly none of his concern. Really, if it were up to him, he would have sent those two other humans bargaining for you to join them here in the fae realm packing. Perhaps he should have made an example of you all when he had the chance. Only, now, he’s stuck with you, and he’ll have to learn to deal with it, for the sake of his men. It’s not like you’re the only human he’s ever dealt with before.
Luckily, for the rest of the day, travel does not get halted again. You manage to keep up just fine, only falling behind once more near sunset. Mingi had wanted to travel for longer this day, covering more distance and hearing no complaints from neither you nor his men. 
The faster they get home, the swifter he can deal with the mess that is you.
Mingi wants nothing to do with you. All you are to him is a pathetic little human. So frail, he could break you with the flick of his wrist. His eyes narrow on your figure as he sees you collapse against the side of a tree, none of his underlings sparing you any supplies as they set up for the night.
No food is offered to you, but you manage to scrounge some water. Your throat burns, and your feet ache as if they’re ready to fall off at a moment’s notice. The stitch in your side is finally calming down, and you’re just grateful none of these fae have ordered you to help them set up camp for the night. No, they stated they didn’t want you touching anything, or doing something wrong, and for once, you’re thanking your lucky stars for such a harsh verdict.
Lightly, you rub at your leg, right where you know that fresh wound still resides. It’s not a deep cut, but twisting wrong, or moving around too much aggravates the scar. Not to mention your limp which has returned even worse than before, due to the speed at which you’re expected to move.
Despite it all, you don’t say anything. No, you learned the hard way what talking back meant. Though, that might just be your one salvation through this all. Perhaps tomorrow you’ll see how far you can push these redcaps, and discover if their nature really lives up to their legacy.
For now, you settle deeper against that tree. It’s late, and you are exhausted. Sleep is one of the best things for you now, especially since there’s no way you can return to the life you previously once had. Thinking back on it now, you don’t know if you’d ever want to.
Not that you really ever had a choice.
The next morning brings another early start, you being commanded to carry even more than yesterday on your back. The only saving grace is that it seems the speed at which the band you’re travelling with has lessoned, but that doesn’t stop your whole body from aching.
Two more days pass like this, insults thrown at you by the surrounding redcaps, only for them to take out their amusement on you by either scratching you by ‘accident’, spitting on you, or pushing you to the ground. You manage to get some food, but it’s both rotten and vile. You’re honestly surprised your body hasn’t given up on you, yet.
You start to complain, but to your relief, or rather, disappointment, no one bothers to take your whining seriously. That, or they’re quick to shut you up, but not in the way you so desperately hope.
It’s around midday when you feel yourself lose your footing. The sun is shining brightly in the sky above your head, a few clouds drifting lazily by as you tumble harshly to the ground. The worst part is, you end up landing badly on your injured side. Unluckily for you, both that scar and your bad ankle are on your right leg which just so happens to land awkwardly on top of the root you tripped over.
You attempt to keep them at bay, but the sudden sharp pain you feel shoot up your leg sends tears to your eyes. You can practically feel your cut tear itself anew, a dampness seeping into the material of your tattered pants. Your breathing is heavy, and you can hardly force yourself back onto your hands, your entire body groaning in protest. Every ache pulses through you with each heartbeat, and in the back of your mind, you wonder if this is truly the end.
“What’s the hold up this time?” You hear a stern voice huff out above your head.
Mustering enough energy, you tilt your head upwards at the approaching figure. There’s a brief moment where the sun blinds you, filtering through the branches in such a way that burns your vision with a bright light until a shadow looms over you. Blinking reveals the redcap’s general standing before you, a look of pure ire marring his features as he glares down at you.
“Get up.” He growls, not even bothering to nudge you with his foot. You’re too far beneath him to bother.
A sad attempt is made by you once more before you’re collapsing on top of your weakened arms.
“I. Can’t.” You manage to get out through gritted teeth, squeezing your eyes shut through the pain.
Mingi snorts. “Pathetic.”
With a roll of his eyes, he storms away from you, barking out orders to set up the encampment. From what you can hear, he plans to move out during the night.
They need to stop to eat, anyways.
Insults are hurled your way by various underlings, some even going so far as to step on you as they walk passed. It’s as if you are worth no more than the dirt beneath their feet as you continue to lay there, weak and injured, just waiting and begging for death to finally claim you.
“You’ve really been a thorn in the general’s side ever since you joined us.” A voice to your left catches your attention.
“I didn’t ask to become a slave.” You retort is half grumbled into the earth, brow furrowing as you glare in the voice’s direction.
A chuckle is heard from above you. “Last I checked, you weren’t actually bound to this group.”
Out of the corner of your vision, you see a male, or rather, what appears to be a male, crouch beside you. He appears a bit shorter than his companions, perhaps even an inch or two shorter than you, and that’s saying something.
“My name’s Windfel,” he says lightly. “I’ve never met a human before. What’s your name?”
“Don’t worry about it,” you huff, finally managing to push yourself upwards and shrug those packs off of your back.
A hiss escapes you as you accidentally apply to much pressure to your right side, hand grasping over where that reopened cut resides. The dull throbbing you can feel, mixed in with the sight of days old blood and dirt only has you wincing. The wound is more than likely infected, and probably has been for the past few days. Only, you don’t have anything to treat it with, and it’s not like you can go around asking for help.
“Oh, you’re more clever than we give you credit for.” He grins. “You must know that telling a fae your true name means they have complete power over you.”
“You’re the ones who assumed me incompetent in the first place.” Your retort is low, and almost immediately, you flinch, as if bracing yourself for an impact of some sorts.
Again, he only chuckles. “That we did.”
“Is there something you want, Windfel?” The question is a bit harsh, despite you avoiding his gaze.
“Not in particular at the moment,” he hums. “I’m simply satisfying a mere curiosity. I’ve read a lot about you humans, thanks to the experiments in the Latha Court.”
“You experiment on humans?” Your eyes widen, a surge of panic washing through you.
“Yes.” He replies, somewhat cheerfully with a nod of his head. “We learn a lot about your kind that way.”
“You’re despicable.” A shudder caresses your spine.
“So I’ve been told.” He grins. “I am a redcap, you know.”
Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice him tip a flat cap stained dark red in your direction.
“I’m aware.” Your answer is blunt as you attempt to stand to your feet. You don’t get very far, for you immediately fall back onto your ass as your arms give out beneath you.
A small ‘oof’ escapes you as you land on your right side, eyes squeezing shut as more tears spring up from beneath where you’ve always tried to hide them.
“You’re not looking so good,” he observes.
“Thanks for noticing.” A low grumble is all he receives in response as you attempt to push yourself upwards once more.
Another chuckle. “I like your sense of humour.”
A side-eyed look is sent his way curtesy of you, “If you want to call it that.”
“Come on, I’ll help you.” He goes to lift you to your feet.
Immediately, you cower away from him, a brief panic filling your gaze as you fixate on his hands.
“I have no intentions of harming you right now.” He replies, somewhat calmly.
“Why are you trying to help me?” You eye him cautiously.
He shrugs. “I’m bored.”
As much as you don’t appreciate his answer, you have no better options. Somewhat reluctantly, you allow him to help you to your feet, guiding you to a tent already prepped and ready. He lifts the flap, allowing you to stumble your way inside and sitting in a chair as per his instruction.
The tent is large enough to fit three people comfortable, appearing more spacious on the inside than from the outside. You suppose it has to do with the magic of the fae, considering they’re able to store everything and carry it so efficiently in such packs, no larger than what you’re used to calling knapsacks.
“You know, you really have caused a great deal of annoyance for our general since your arrival.” He says as he grabs a roll of white medical cloth from a little side table.
“I never asked for this.” You mumble, keeping your head down.
“I’m aware you were brought unconscious into our ranks.” Windfel replies. “Is there a reason for that?”
“Not that I’m obliged to tell you.” Your eyes narrow suspiciously, watching every movement he makes closely.
You highly doubt anyone will come to your aid if you decide to scream for help.
“Just making conversation,” he responds, lifting his hands lightly in front of himself in a shrug. “I’m not a healer, so all I’m willing to do is let you wrap that wound. If you’re lucky, you won’t have to dress it when we get back to the keep.”
You purse your lips, eyeing Windfel as he places the roll of cloth beside you. A moment later, and he’s moving around the tent, rummaging through his own pack and pulling out a fresh pair of clothes.
“What, exactly, is this ‘keep’ you all continuously talk about?” You ask, somewhat warily.
He completely ignores your question, tossing the spare clothes at you.
“I don’t use these anymore, and although we typically enjoy the smell of blood, we don’t enjoy when wounds fester.” His nose crinkles along with his words. “There’s a small stream about a quarter of a mile to the northeast. I’ll take you there once you’re ready.”
“You’re being awful nice to me for someone who doesn’t like my kind,” You observe, eyeing him carefully.
“I care about my general, and anything I can do to… lesson his burdens, I will.” Comes Windfel’s simple reply. “When you’re ready, I’ll be outside.”
You watch him step out the opposite flap of the tent he entered, brow furrowing as the material slaps shut. Shouts can be heard outside, along with the hustle and bustle of the rest of the encampment being set up. You bet the rest wouldn’t have even notice you moved from that tree, yet.
Tilting your head downwards, you look at the clothes in your hand, feeling the fabric between your fingers. It’s been far too long since you’ve gotten any type of new clothing. Back in the human realm, the only time you got a new piece of clothing was when- no. You shouldn’t be thinking about that right now.
Swallowing thickly, you look over at that roll of white medical cloth. As much as you don’t trust this redcap, this is the first ounce of kindness you’ve received in quite a long time. There’s a part of you screaming at yourself not to believe it, but there’s another part, a part much more vulnerable that clings onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, things are starting to look up for you.
Your life has never been worth much, but perhaps someone is actually starting to see value in you that has never been there before. Then again, you probably shouldn’t get your hopes up. They’ve fallen too many times for you to count.
Taking a deep breath in, you grab that roll of medical cloth. Carefully, you wrap it in the bundle of clothes from Windfel, and stand back to your feet. Though you wobble slightly, you’re able to steady yourself, and within a minute, you’re exiting through the same flap that redcap did only moments before.
A single nod is all you give him as you stand outside the tent. A single nod of which he returns, motioning for you to follow him deep into the woods.
***
The journey to the stream is slow, taking well over an hour to get there. The distance is much greater than you were expecting, and the path isn’t easy at all. As much as Windfel seems to be ‘helping’ you, he did not once offer you a hand through the rough terrain of the woods through your travels.
“Will there be enough time?” You ask, eyeing the trickling water at the edge of the bank.
“Relax,” Windfel huffs out lightly. “Knowing the general, he’ll probably spend at least another two hours resting. So, as long as you don’t take too long, we’ll be fine.”
You purse your lips in response, but say nothing.
“I have no interest in watching you bathe, either, human.” He says, turning so his back is to you. “So, you needn’t worry about that.”
“I’ve never had much privacy, anyways.” You grumble, but as soon as the words leave your lips, your eyes widen. Terrified, you glance at Windfel’s back.
Choosing to either ignore your statement, or you entirely, he stands there, unmoving, His back is straight as he gazes out into the woods in the direction you both came, paying no mind to even the sound of water trickling behind you.
You turn back around.
Darting your gaze to the stream once more, you notice how clear the water seems to be. The movement against the stones appears languid, a gentle breeze flitting through the trees in the next moment. It’s almost as if the stream is inviting you in, luring you into it’s pristine waters, and the longer you stare at its enchanting depths, the more you long to dip your feet into its calming waters.
“What’s the catch?” You grit your teeth, cursing yourself for being so stupid.
“You humans always think there’s some sort of trick to everything, don’t you?” Windfel chuckles, and suddenly, you feel his hot breath on your neck. You didn’t even hear him move. “I could push you in, if you like, but I don’t think that would bode well for your wound.”
Your spine straightens. “I can get in myself, thank you very much.”
“You are most welcome.” The way you can practically feel him smile against your back has a shiver running down your spine.
A moment later, his presence at your back lessens, and you find yourself able to breathe easier once more. You spare a glance over your shoulder to see him resting in that same spot as before, his back turned as he begins to hum a small tune to himself. Eyeing him cautiously for a few moments, you finally turn back around to face the stream, deciding that he won’t actually do anything to you. Besides, even you are starting to not be able to handle your own stench, and that’s saying something.
Slowly, carefully, you begin stripping yourself of your old clothes. The tattered shirt you wear gets tossed onto the ground beside the new one, your pants following shortly after. You have enough mind to leave your undergarments on, just in case Windfel decides to play a trick of some sort on you, or run away with both sets of clothes. You still need something to wear, and Windfel is still a man.
Men are never good at keeping their promises. You learned that the hard way.
Stepping towards the very edge of the stream, you take your time sitting down. Each movement is stiff, pain shooting through your right side as you finally get a good look at the cut on your upper leg. 
The wound festers, dried pus caked on the edge. The cut itself is swollen, days old blood littering the skin around it. From how bad it looks, you’re scared to even touch it, but a creeping thought in the back of your mind keeps you inching towards the water with every passing second.
You’ve had worse.
Carefully, you dip your toes into the crystalline water. It’s a bit cool to the touch, and causes you to jerk back, surprised by its icy feel. Yet, it’s alluring in a way, as if it’s the softest of silk that has ever caressed your skin. A luxury you have never been afforded, and you take the time now to savour it, despite the chill that clings to your feet as you submerge them beneath the gentle flow of the stream.
In no time at all, you feel yourself get used to the water’s icy chill, sinking deeper and deeper until you’re fully sitting on the edge of the river bank. Being mindful of your leg, you angle yourself so you can lean towards the water, cupping your hands together in order to gather the cool liquid in your palms and clean your wound.
The first few handfuls sting, but you grit your teeth and bear it. With each handful of water, more and more of the dirt, grime, and blood is washed away, revealing the cut to have gotten longer over the past few days. All that running around must have strained it, and reopened the wound over and over again, leading to the edges widening, and the cut deepening.
No wonder your whole leg has been aching. You just hope the infection isn’t already in your blood. There’s no telling what may happen to you, then.
“Oh my, that looks bad.” 
A voice from above your head startles you, and you nearly go toppling into the stream. Looking up with a hand clutched over your chest, your eyes wide in panic, you see Windfel leaning over you, inspecting your cut.
“A few more days and you would have had to cut it off,” he remarks casually.
You physically feel your heart drop, your eyes briefly shifting to your right ankle. You swallow thickly, a jolt of pain travelling all the way from your foot upwards to your hip as tears unwillingly spring to your eyes. Almost involuntarily, you begin rapidly shaking your head, protests falling from numb lips.
“I’m just shanking ya!” He laughs, boisterously at that. He even goes so far as to pat your shoulder a few times, wiping tears of joy from the corner of his eyes.
“You’re not very funny.” You whisper, expression hard.
Windfel blinks, “Geez, tough crowd.”
You purposely avoid his gaze, looking back out over to the opposite bank of the stream. Your lips are pursed in a thin line as you slowly manage to get your breathing under control. Even you can hear the thunderous pounding of your own heartbeat, so you sure as hell know that Windfel can, too.
“I thought you weren’t going to watch me.” You mutter, slowly turning yourself further into the stream.
“No, I said I had no interest in watching you bathe.” He remarks, matter of factly. “There’s a difference.”
“If you say so,” you mutter, slipping into the water and putting a little bit of distance between you and that redcap. Not that it would really matter, in the long run.
The chill of the water causes your body to stiffen for a moment, only for the entirety of your muscles to immediately relax. The chill morphs into a gentle caress, and as you sink down to allow the water up to your neck, you find yourself letting out a small, blissful sigh through your nose. Involuntarily, your eyes slip shut.
“Feels better, doesn’t it?” Windfel hums.
Your eyes shoot open, turning to look over at the redcap who is back to standing in his original spot, facing away from you.
“I-“ you swallow, keeping your voice low. “I haven’t had a chance to bathe like this in a long time.”
“Yeah,” Windfel snorts. “I could tell.”
He makes a gesture similar to fanning the air in front of himself, and you find yourself rolling your eyes. You even go to far as to splash water in his direction before you can stop yourself.
Even though not a single drop of water touches him, your eyes still go wide. Not a muscle moves as you stare at him, your heartbeat thudding once more in your ears.
“Damn, human, you really are uptight.” Windfel snickers. “As if a little water could hurt me. It’s nice when such creatures are playful. Adorable, even.”
“I don’t think many would agree with you.” You mutter, gently pushing yourself backwards and creating just a tiny bit more distance between yourself and him.
“You’re probably right,” he hums. “Though, we all can agree on liking to be amused.”
“You confuse me.” You state blankly, rubbing at your skin lightly beneath the water and washing away any excess dirt and grime you can see.
“The feeling is very much mutual, human.” He replies. “I bet if you lived on your own as long as I have in the wild, you’d feel the same way.”
“Oh, yeah,” you hum, clearly not convinced as you dunk your head under the water briefly. “I’m sure.”
“Oh, come on! You’re telling me you’ve never lived in the woods before? Never fought for your own survival all by you little lonesome?” Windfel’s voice is slightly mocking, and you know he’s probably only trying to get a rise out of you. 
Unfortunately, though, it’s working.
“I think you and I have two very different definitions of survival.” You say, scrubbing a bit harder at your skin.
“Perhaps that is true,” he hums once more, as if considering your words. “But come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never wanted to know what it’s like to live on your own.”
“How do you know if I’ve lived on my own or not?” You retort, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion.
“I don’t.” Windfel shrugs. “From what those of us who care enough to read about your kind can gather, it’s observed that you usually go out on your own once you reach a certain age.”
“And you’re one of those that have read about my kind?” You quirk a brow. 
The longer you spend talking with Windfel, the more you seem to ease into the conversation. Though the water continues to feel nice around you, you also decide that it’s time to remove yourself from the stream so you can quickly dry off and make it back to the others. The last thing you need is for something to happen, or for you to finally face the wrath of a redcap.
At this point, that may just be a blessing.
There’s almost a slight tug at the back of your mind. With each step you take towards the bank and your awaiting clothes, a small voice tells you to stay. The water seems to be caressing your entire body, becoming denser around you with each step. It’s almost as if the stream is trying to hold you down, to force you to not leave its waters. Yet, despite it’s almost enchanted callings, you persist, managing to pull yourself out of the crystalline water and back onto the side of the bank.
The consequences of staying far outweigh the rewards in your mind.
You fail to notice how Windfel’s brow quirks in surprise, but he continues on the conversation as if nothing is wrong.
“I’ve read a few things, yes.” He confirms. “Knowledge is power, or haven’t you heard?”
“Power is power, no matter where in the world.” You grumble, flicking off as much excess water on your body as you can before beginning to wrap your upper thigh with that medical cloth. Once finished, you tie it off quickly, but not tight enough that it will hurt you even more than you already are. A moment later, you stand back to your feet.
“Spoken like a true scholar,” Windfel teases lightly, his back still turned to you.
Slowly, you begin pulling on the clothes he leant you. The pants are a little short around the ankles, but they fit surprisingly well. Considering the size difference between the both of you, you’re surprised the shirt even managed to pull over your head, but it’s loose, and you’re grateful for the soft material that graces your skin.
“Still, you should definitely try living on your own at some point.” He remarks casually. “There’s no feeling quite like freedom.”
Your whole body freezes, gaze slowly trailing over to where Windfel stands, now at the edge of the wood. He seems to be holding a bundle in his hands, and when you look down, you realize that it’s your old, raggedy clothes.
“I wouldn’t know.” You state, rather firmly as your eyes narrow at the redcap across from you.
“Oh, yes, well,” he finally turns back around to face you, a grin tugging at his lips to reveal all too sharp fangs. “About that…”
“If you’re going to kill me, get it over with.”
Your words clearly catch him off guard, for now it’s his turn for his eyes to widen in shock.
“My dear, why would I want to kill you?” He chuckles, shaking his head. “You’ve done nothing but be forced upon us since the start. I may be a monster, but I’m not unreasonable.”
“Like I’ve never heard that one before.” You mutter, rolling your eyes.
Again, your breath hitches as soon as the words leave your lips, and you find yourself flinching backwards away from Windfel instinctually.
He frowns, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he says, “I told you. I care about my general and how much your presence burdens him. It’s easier this way if you just disappear.”
Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You want me to disappear, but not kill me?”
“For the most part.” He blinks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“How do you expect me to do that?” You frown, doing whatever you can to hide the clear exasperation in your voice.
“Run away.” He states.
“Excuse me?”
“Run away.” He repeats with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “I doubt they’ll even notice you’re gone.”
Now, it’s your turn to blink at him. Once. Twice. Three times in disbelief as you cannot keep your mouth from falling open in shock.
“You’re shitting me.”
“I think the whole point of you bathing was for that to no longer be the case.” He says smartly. “I told you. You’re a burden to our general, and if I can relieve that burden from his shoulders, I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re not currently being hunted, so there’s no reason to kill you right now.”
“And where will I go?” You ask, incredulously. “I have nothing-“
“Find the Latha court, I’m sure those human lovers will take you in.” He cuts you off, a slight twitch to his brow. “Go that way,” he points off to your left with a clawed finger. “There’s a small town. I’m sure someone will give you a hand.”
“Like you did?” You quirk a brow, eyeing Windfel carefully.
“Exactly.” He nods. “Now, you best be on your way, little mortal. My patience is starting to wear thin.”
Though the last part of his words he says in a cheerful voice, the way his eyes gleam in the light of the setting sun unnerves you.
Without waiting for another chance, you take the one presented to you.
“I better not see you around again.” Windfel hums, and you can hear him beginning to trudge in the opposite direction that you are. “You won’t like it if you do.”
A shiver caresses your spine at his words, and you find yourself picking up your pace. Reaching the opposite end of the little clearing where the stream is, you quickly spare a glance over your shoulder. Windfel is nowhere to be seen, and you do not know if it should relieve you, or terrify you. All you do know, is that you have to put as much distance between yourself and that gang of redcaps as you can. To start, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
The trek into town is a lot easier than you thought it would be. It only takes you about forty minutes to reach the outskirts, and with every step, you seem to gain better footing than before. The ache in your leg is dulling, and your head is the clearest it’s been in weeks. You don’t trip over any roots, or stumble over any rocks, either. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say things are actually starting to look up for you.
That’s when it hits you.
Is this even reality anymore?
Windfel could have cast a glamour over you. You could be under some sort of spell, or undergone some weird magic while bathing in that stream. You have no way of knowing what is true or not, unless you talk to someone. Even then, your chances of them tricking you are high, but it may be the only way to tell what is true or not.
Standing at the edge of the town, you do a quick scan of those you can see. The sun has already set, and the faint glow of lanterns casts a warmth around the surrounding buildings. There seems to be only a few people milling about, and honestly, you shouldn’t really call them people at all. From what you can gather, all these beings appear to faeries. Some have grand wings that sprout from their backs, ranging from feathered to those of the insect variety. Others, you can only discern from their height and pointed ears. The few flashes of razor sharp teeth aren’t that reassuring, either.
The only relief seems to be that all of the inhabitants steer perfectly clear of you. Save for one, who watches you fidget from across the way. His gaze dances with amusement, and you don’t know if that unnerves you more than if he were glaring. Long, dark hair is pulled back in a half-ponytail to showcase his sharp features. He sits on the edge of some steps leading up to what appears to be a shop of some sorts, his elbows resting on his thighs as he leans forward.
The moment he catches you staring, his eyebrows quirk curiously.
Turning away quickly, you curse yourself. You’ve always been used to blending in back home, that you didn’t realize just how much you’d stick out in the Fae realm. Perhaps you really are in over your head, but where else are you supposed to go?
A voice, smooth and deep, coming from behind startles you.
“Are you lost, Little One?”
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spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 8 months
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Twice bitten
Why is my dream to be a housewife? I’m handy okay I have a wild amount of skills I swear I’d be an amazing housewife
Pairing: Buck x Eddie x reader
Word count: ….s’all in da notes app. But I did it okay 🥹🥹🥹 I wrote a longer one it’s a miracle
Notes: I didn’t realize how desperate I was for these two until I tried finding fics for them. Whoever writes them I love you, thank you. Ps, I don’t edit shit I’m sorry
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⭐️Day 16: Double Penetration⭐️
It was normal on certain days of the week for Buck to rush home, the guys teased him for it but he just laughed it off claiming he was excited to just pass out after the long day they’d had.
It was normal for Eddie to crash at Bucks place on certain days.
Why no one noticed these days coincided with each other neither man was sure, but they sure as hell weren’t going to point it out.
Everyone knew you were Bucks longtime girlfriend, you’d met after the neighbors in your apartment burnt down their own home and half of yours. There was nowhere to go that night as you sat in the back of an ambulance, an oxygen mask over your face. Buck approached you first after the fire was out, he had been watching you for a little bit and you hadn’t moved in the last 45 minutes. He looked around, uneasy at first because he knew this was stupid. But you just looked so helpless… and your house had literally just burnt down.
“I uh- I promise I’m not a serial killer” Buck joked as he approached you, you looked at him- your eyes red-rimmed and puffy.
“Okay? Cool?” Your voice was a bit hoarse from the smoke, and Buck inwardly cursed himself. That was weird as hell
“I just- you- you don’t have anywhere to go and okay I know this is weird and my boss would kill me for this… but I have a bed! And oh my god that’s not what I mean I swear it’s just-“
“Are you asking me to stay at your place?” You look up at him and his heart breaks all over again for you.
“Yeah I am” he sighs quietly “I have an overnight shift tonight and won’t be home. So, I can take you there. I’ll just say I need to change or something, just. Consider it? Please?” He handed you a piece of paper with his number on it and the rest was history. Buck could remember the night Bobby had found out he’d done that for you, he was on dish duty for two months after that.
Four months after the fire, you still hadn’t found a place to live. It was weird at first, Buck gave up almost everything for your own comfort, often crashing on a coworkers couch. But one night he came home, and you’d made dinner for him as a surprise. The moment he walked through the door you knew something was off, he let his bag fall to the floor as he kicked off his shoes and went straight to his bed, crashing on it and putting a pillow over his head.
“Buck?” You asked softly, but he continued to ignore you. You sat at the edge of the bed and lifted the pillow a bit.
“Evan?” You whispered, and he reached out, pulling you down with him and nuzzling his face in your neck.
That was the night you and Buck had gotten together.
Two months after that, Eddie showed up at the apartment to drop something off and found you there, he knew Buck was seeing someone but he didn’t know it was you he was seeing. The conversation was light and awkward but very flirty and you found yourself comfortable around him immediately. He came around more often for “just hanging out” purposes but Buck knew there was an ulterior motive.
“Do you like my girlfriend?”
Buck cornered Eddie behind the fire truck one day as they were taking a breather, getting drinks from a corner store.
“I’m sorry, what??” Eddie wiped his mouth as he nearly spit his drink out, he coughed a couple times and looked up at him “Do I like who?!”
Buck crossed his arms over his chest “My girlfriend. Y/N? Do you like her?”
Eddie’s cheeks reddened as he tried to hide it behind the bottle. He shook his head as he took another sip. “ I mean- I- she’s cool yeah I like her she’s a nice girl!”
“You know that’s not what I’m asking you” Buck rolled his eyes.
Eddie sighed as he leaned against the truck, he looked down at his hands for a moment “Yeah” he said softly “Yeah I like her”
“So just tell her”
That night Eddie came over to Bucks house and asked you to be his girlfriend too. Buck had been suspicious for a little while before he started asking you questions and the truth came out. You did like Buck… but you just happened to also like Eddie. The immense guilt you’d been feeling went away very quickly when Buck laid back on his bed, his hands behind his head
“Yeah he’s kinda hot isn’t he”
you both laughed as you laid your head on his chest and just talked about Eddie, like two school girls with a secret crush. That was also the night Buck and Eddie decided it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing if they both found each other attractive.
This brought all three of you to today. Buck got home first, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you like he hadn’t seen you in months, he was stuck at work and then crashing at Eddie’s place for the last six days in a row.
“I missed you so much pretty girl” he breathed against your neck as he kissed it, inhaling your sweet perfume.
“I missed you too babe” you laughed as he pushed you against the counter and lifted you onto it.
“My gorgeous sweet toy” He whispers. His hands slide up your side and go to take off your shirt when the door starts to unlock. Eddie walks in, looking equally as exhausted. He slowly puts his keys into his pocket as he raises an eyebrow.
“Am I interrupting something?” He asks as he sets his bag down by Bucks, and leans against the closed door
“Not if you wanted to join us.” Bucks eyes sparkle as he smiles widely. Your mouth drops as Eddie shakes his head chuckling. He removes his jacket and sets it on the hook.
“You sure she’s ready for that?” He walks over and gently turns your head to him, giving you a dizzying kiss. Buck and Eddie had been toying with the idea of talking to you about sleeping with the both of them together. It had just been taking turns or one of them watching the other with you, never all three of you at once.
“Yeah I think she might be” He starts kissing your neck again, easing your shirt over your head.
“R-ready for what?” You ask as Eddie keeps kissing you. You feel Bucks hands slide between your thighs as he leaves kisses down your neck.
“We were wondering, if you’d be up for having us both.” Eddie asks as he pulls away for a minute, smirking at the dazed look in your eyes.
“You can definitely say no and if you say yes you can absolutely use your safe word.” Buck says as he pulls away as well.
“What do you mean by ‘having you both?’” You ask as Eddie picks you up and takes you over to Bucks bed. Buck pulls off shirt as he follows and as soon as Eddie sets you down he eases you onto your back, pulling off your bra and sucking your nipple into his mouth. His hand comes up and massages your other breast as he moans softly.
“We both want to be inside you, Y/N” Eddie says as he pulls off his shirt and starts kissing you, he picks you up and puts you on top of Buck, Buck goes to your other nipple, biting and sucking at it. You moan as you tangle your fingers in Bucks hair, pulling his face up to make out with him. You lightly grind against him and Eddie smirks as he watches your body. He pulls your shorts down and leans forward, giving your cotton panties a sweet kiss.
“What do you think Y/N?” Buck asks between kisses. You reach down and unbutton his pants and Eddie helps pull them off.
“We won’t be upset if you say no, you have full control baby.” Eddie reassures you as he starts to rubs your clit through your underwear. Your hips stutter as you grind against his hand and Bucks cock through his boxers.
“Y-yeah I want to try it.” You pant as Eddie pulls your panties to the side and easily slips his fingers in your soaked cunt.
“Fuck I’m into you” Buck laughs breathlessly as you agree to it. Eddie pulls off his pants and grabs your hips, pulling you a bit closer to him. He pulls his fingers out and you whine, angling your hips towards him.
“Shhhh mi vida it’s okay” He starts to grind his cock against your ass, pushing you against Buck. Buck groans loudly as he starts to grind back. Your gasps and moans come sharper from the pressure of both of them.
Eddie finally pulls off your panties, and your legs start shaking a bit. He chuckles and helps Buck pull off his boxers.
“You ready for this pretty girl?” Buck asks as he wraps his arms around you, kissing you softly. Eddie reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out a small bottle of lube and puts some in his hand, stroking his cock and then rubbing it between your ass. This wasn’t the first time you’d done anal but it sure was the first time with the two of them. He reaches down and lifts your hips a little grabbing Bucks cock and coating it too.
“I-I’m ready” you’re a bit nervous, Eddie rubs your back lovingly.
“Remember you can stop us if you need to but we know you can take it.” Eddie lines Buck up first and he pushes into you easily, your eyes roll back in your head as you moan together, Buck can’t help the way he pumps into you immediately. Eddie chuckles and holds his hips
“You’re both so eager”
He teases your tight hole with his cock a bit and you gulp, you angle your hips a bit and bury your head in Bucks neck. He chuckles and reaches his hands down, spreading your cheeks open for Eddie.
Eddie taps your hole again and pushes in slowly. Your body jerks a bit as he fills you, he pours a bit more lube on his cock and pushes in more. You hold onto Bucks body tightly as they both fill you, your cunt squeezes tightly around Buck and he groans, fighting to keep his hips down for you. Eddie throws his head back as he moans loudly, his grip on your hips tighter and bruising.
“Fuck that’s good, fuck” he leans forward with his head on your back as he waits for you to adjust. Your body is trembling as you lay between the two of them, filled to the brim and trying to adjust to being completely filled.
“Oh my god” your voice is high pitched as Bucks hips snap and he finally loses it, thrusting into you and holding onto Eddie’s arms above you. Eddie groans as he starts thrusting too and you feel like you’re being torn apart in the best way possible. They take turns thrusting in and out of you as you cling to Buck, gasping and crying out their names.
“Ah ah fuck Y/N shit you’re so tight” Bucks mouth covers your moans as he kisses you, it’s messy with the way they’re both pumping in and out of you but it feels good. Eddie wraps his hand around your hair and tugs it back gently, pulling you up to him and starts kissing your neck, his hands slide up your sides and cup your tits as they bounce in his hands, he reaches down and starts rubbing your clit.
“Fuck you better cum pretty girl, make a mess in Bucks lap.”
You lay your head on his shoulder, whimpering and whining as Buck grabs your hips now slamming you down on them. You scream their names, babbling incoherently as you cum all over their cocks. Bucks mouth drops in awe as he watches you squirting all over them both. Your body jerks as Buck holds you down on their cocks, they both hold onto you tightly as they come together inside you. Bucks hips stutter as he pushes his cum deep inside you. Eddie pushes his cock in to the hilt and squeezes your tits, pushing every last drop inside you. He pulls out and lets you fall forward into Bucks chest, his cum drips down your pussy and over Bucks balls.
“Fucking hell man” Eddie laughs as he pants, he turns to Buck and grabs his face, kissing him softly. “You both did amazing. Especially you mi amour” he reaches for you and Buck pulls out, handing you over. Your body is shocked and exhausted as you cuddle between the two of them.
“Promise me we’ll do that again when I can feel my body again?” You ask sleepy and both Buck and Eddie chuckle as they kiss your cheeks.
“Yeah we promise we can do that again.”
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tenpintsof-sundrop · 6 months
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I really really hate to be that person - especially because I know a lot of people are under the impression that fanfic authors are greedy and we should be grateful for any comments we get, even if those comments are full of unauthorized concrit, even if they're kind of rude, even if they're weirdly self-shaming (sometimes insinuating that people should feel bad over reading the dark or smutty content in the fics or that we should feel bad for writing it in the first place even though you're also reading it??).
But like, lately, I have been getting so many comments along the lines of "this fic should be longer!!" "I wish this was a series!!" "please turn this into a series!" "I would read endless sequels of this!!!" - today someone literally commented on one of my fics saying that it was a war crime that the fic was 30k instead of being 'a whole series'. And I totally understand the mindset that if something is good, you want more of it. If you enjoy something, you want more of it. But these comments are definitely not as flattering as people think they are.
When reading those comments - it doesn't always come off as a compliment. Most of my fics range from 5k to 30k on average, and they are usually oneshots or oneshots that I have split into multiple parts in order to be more readable - most of my longer, ongoing series are abandoned because I didn't have the steam to maintain them. (Most people don't know at all how hard it is to write a good, coherent, well-plotted 100k fic and actually keep up with it.) After I post the fic I have written later this week, I will have written over 400k this year alone, with my entire AO3 having over one million words split between 79 different fics.
So often, having people look at my fics and having their only comment be to 'write more' - feels like an insult. Because I do write more. I have written more. I write consistently. (It just sucks that people have almost nothing to say about what I have already written.)
Having people look at my fics - usually very long fics - and go "hey, this would be better if it was longer!!" or "hey, that was good, but the only productive thing I have to say about it is: make it longer" - it always feels very discouraging.
It doesn't make me want to rush to write more of that fic. In fact, most of the time, I actively avoid working on sequels to fics where the only comments are 'more please' because I know the only thing people will say about the sequel is 'when are you gonna make more?' - and oftentimes, I don't intend to make more.
I have said this in another post, but the ending to my fics are always intentional. I don't write fics with the mindset of turning them into a 100 part series. I write fics with the mindset of making them like a film or a short TV series - telling a capsule of a story with a very intentional beginning, middle, and end. And if I write a sequel, it's because I feel there is more to be told - but I will also cap off that sequel with a very intentional ending.
(Also, don't get me started on the complex of - if fics don't have the classic 'happy ending' people feel like every single thread needs to be resolved until it gets to a more classic happy ending, when I love writing intentional melancholic and thoughtful endings.)
Also - in general, I feel like people don't understand how much work goes into a fic. It might take you about 2 hours to read a fic that's 30k (and a lot of people who are avid readers probably read faster than that, reading it in an hour or less) - but concepting that fic, writing that fic, and meticulously editing that fic so that it can be readable and pleasant for people takes upwards of 20 hours of work. I would say realistically, upwards of 30 hours. And those are just working hours - hours sitting at the computer actively working. That doesn't include the time spent in between workshopping the ideas in my head while I am doing other mundane tasks in life.
It's very, very easy to consume a 30k oneshot in one sitting and then hold out your plate and go "more please!!" without putting any thought into how much work went into the original fic.
All of this just to say - please think about these things next time you are commenting on a fic (or even closing a fic without commenting at all), or doing something stupid like generating a fic with AI - which steals from everyday hard working fanfic writers. Fanfiction is hard work - it's a labour of love, and it shouldn't be about blind consumerism where you finish one and then rapidly start looking for the next one. You should appreciate each one like a good, hand pulled taffy instead of gobbling them all down like cheap candy mass made by factory machines.
Yeah - I think that's it.
-your local over worked (but still passionate) fanfic writer
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whore-4-drewstarkey · 10 months
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Lips of An Angel- Drew Starkey x Fem!Reader
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summary: based on the song Lips Of An Angel by Hinder. (take a listen! i recommend it!!) Y/N drunkenly calls up her ex boyfriend drew, to confess her love she still has for him and all her regrets from their past relationship.
warnings: odessa…., alcohol consumption, emotional cheating (if you even call it that), angst, a tad of fluff if you squint, slight mentions of physical/mental/emotional abuse (not from drew), lmk if i forgot anything bc i’m sure i did lol.
a/n: for starters…. i’ve been waiting to write this one and i was gonna do it for rafe first but it just felt more right to do drew lol. also please don’t come at me for the way i put odessa in this. (personal opinion: i don’t think they’re really a thing irl but whatever). for the sake of this fic i had to put her in it to work as she’s the only prominent female in his life besides his sisters so bare with me please. (personally not a fan of her for my own reasons and things i’ve read) hope you all enjoy this one!
revised and edited by the one and only @slut4drudy ilyyyyy
as drew had just put the last of the champagne glasses into the sink from his and odessa’s small get together with friends, he could hear his phone ringing that all too familiar ringtone… the ringtone he had set for only her. he thought to himself… how strange it’d be for her to call him at such an absurd hour after not talking to one another in two years.
him and Y/N had began to date their senior year of college at western carolina university, and just like every college couple, they eventually broke it off a few years later. it had been a mutual agreement when he got cast on netflix’s show, outer banks, as she didn’t want to hold him back any longer from achieving all the goals she knew he would. the two however kept in contact regularly until none at all just two years ago when she’d started dating her now boyfriend maverick. and from what Y/N seen drew had also moved on… to his costar odessa.
“hey, uh drew your phone is ringing. do you want me to get it?” odessa asked drew as he finished washing the champagne flutes, drying his hands hurriedly with the towel next to the sink.
“uh, nah, um i’ll go answer it. it might be my mom. you know her and not being able to sleep and missing her kids. i’m just gonna go in the reading room and take the call. i’ll be back out in twenty. sound good?” he asked warily.
“yeah yeah take your time. tell her i said hi for me” she smiled as his towering figure walked past her frame and into the living room, picking his phone up. his large thumb moved nimbly against his phones screen to answer the call from Y/N as he entered the reading room, plopping on the couch.
“h-honey, why you callin me so late? it’s kinda hard to talk right now” he stuttered out her pet name he hadn’t called her in years. all he received in return were her soft sobs from the other line. those little soft sobs shattered his heart. the last time he’d heard them was because of him. because he had spoke the idea of maybe they should break up. because he didn’t know if he could do the long distance relationship, and Y/N had just agreed. no hesitation because she wanted whatever would make him happy. and if that meant breaking up with her and breaking her heart, then so be it. she wanted what was best for him because she loved him.
“honey, why are you crying? is everything okay?” drew whispered out through the phone to his broken ex in an uneasy tone, as his jaw clenched. he hated the idea of her being sad. he always had.
“w-why are you whispering?” she sighed as more tears streamed down her face.
drew bit his lip, exhaling a huff of hot air he hadn’t known he was holding before speaking, “i gotta whisper because i can’t be too loud.”
“why? i-im sorry. i shouldn’t have called. this was so fucking stupid” Y/N slurred out into her end of the phone, catching drew’s attention.
“oh, well, my girls in the next room” he spoke as he paused to let her speak.
“like i-i said… this was st-stupid of me” she slurred out again before continuing, “you’re moved on. i get it”
“honey, Y/N, it’s not like that. i swear. s-shes not even my girlfriend” he tried to elaborate before she cut him off.
“then why’d you call her your girl?”she challenged.
“baby, you’re drunk. i can tell by the way you’re slurring your words. what’s wrong? why’d you call?” drew tried to deflect the question and ask the more important questions; why she’d called and why she’d been crying.
“answer my questions first please” she hiccuped through her phone and into his ear.
“we haven’t put a label on it. in all seriousness i don’t even know what i want. i don’t even think she knows what she wants. it’s more of a friends with benefits kind of deal” he sighed out as his left index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed once more, contemplating to speak what he’d been thinking for awhile now. “but honey, if i’m being serious, sometimes i wish she was you”
“i wish i was her too” Y/N whimpered out as she took a gulp of the vodka from the bottle she’d been coddling in her arms, sitting on the bathroom floor, hiding from maverick.
“i guess we never really moved on… did we?” he chuckled out, causing Y/N to smile at the sweet sound of his chuckle. it was bliss to her ears. she’d missed that sound so much in the last two years.
“now answer my question honey, what’s wrong? why’re you calling so later? isn’t it like after 1am there back home in charlotte. right?” he asked Y/N in a concerned tone, face scrunching up in worry as well, though she couldn’t see it.
“u-um. drew it doesn’t matter. forget i called you. okay?” Y/N tried to deflect his concerning questions he’d been shooting her way since the call had started.
“Y/N, honey. i’m not hanging up until you tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape that you’re drunk off your ass, drunk calling me at 1 am your time all while sobbing. i just won’t” he huffed out, losing his patience in the girl on the other line.
“joseph” she began to slur, sternly, “i said it doesn’t matter. go back to your girl or whatever the fuck she is to you” she hiccuped yet again.
“fuck, i cant believe i’m about to say this right now, but it’s really good to hear your voice sayin’ my name. it sounds so sweet” drew smiled to himself as he softly giggled. maybe it was from the champagne he’d had earlier or maybe it was the blissfulness from just hearing Y/N oh so sweet voice saying his name again.
“i love you” Y/N slurred out once more as she started to cry again. “i’ve never stopped” she continued. “i thought i could and would move on but i cant and it hurts me that we aren’t a thing anymore” she continued to weep.
“honey don’t say that. please” he frowned as his heart cracked yet again over his ex girlfriend and her words. more like over her admittance of missing him so much still even after all these years.
“why not, drew? it’s the truth” she sniffled as she wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of his old college sweatshirt she’d still kept after all these year even after their breakup. she picked the bottle of vodka back up and took another swig of it.
“those words…. fuck. they’re coming from the lips of an angel baby. and hearing those words, it’s makes me so fucking weak. because as much as i want to be with you… i cant” he sighed as a single tear streamed down his stubbled cheek, not even bothering to wipe it away. he soon continued, “i never want to say goodbye, honey. and it’s so fucking hard to admit that. but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel” he dryly chuckled as the memories of their kisses ran through his brain. it still felt so real. the longing to be near her was still there. and the butterflies. and the desire to make her happy. and the want to make her feel safe and loved.
“drew, you’re the one who just said you guys aren’t even a thing so why would you even say that?” Y/N croaked out as she wiped more of her tears away.
“it’s complicated honey. i feel obligated to be faithful even if her and i aren’t really officially a thing. now please for the love of god, baby, why are you crying? what’s wrong? what happened?” drew exerted his concern as his eyebrows scrunched together in worry.
“i- uh, drew you cant do anything about it, so it doesn’t matter” she whimpered in a whisper, reaching for the bathroom door knob to make sure it was in fact locked. she squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she heard mavericks yells from their kitchen.
“you know, it’s funny that you called me tonight, Y/N/N, because we had some friends over and the whole time i was just thinking of you and how you’ve been. i haven’t heard from you in two years, hunny” drew whispered, his voice strained from the way his heart clenched in pain at the lack of communication between the two when they had both promised to keep in contact.
“maybe that’s why i dream of you. you know what they say, if you dream of someone that means they’re thinking of you. do you dream of me too?” she spoke shakily, as her jaw began to quiver, biting back yet another sob.
“what about maverick? and yes i’ve dreamt of you too, love. i do often” he confessed as he thought back to his dream he had of her from the other night. the two of them had gone on a picnic in the mountains back in their home state of north carolina, enjoying the scenery and all it had to offer, that was until he was awoken by odessa’s loud alarm blaring throughout his bedroom. drew’s lips parted once more as he spoke again, “and does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?”
“th-that’s why i-i uh called. he… uh he got mad again and s-started to throw some things around the kitchen. h-he said some things which isn’t out of the ordinary with him” her frail voice cracked as she finally admitted to him why she had called him so late in the first place. tears once again started pouring out of her once bright eyes which have now been filled with void. “he drinks… a lot. and when he does… he gets kinda aggressive. he will do things to me and say horrible things as well. i-i called you tonight because i’m drunk and i miss you and i know you’d never do this shit to me and because you listen. so well. you always have” she began to cry again for what felt like the twelfth time that night.
“honey, what are you talking about? has he hit you? do you have a place to go?” drew shot up at the mention of mavericks behavior coming from Y/N. he was on high alert and wanted nothing more than to protect her at that instant.
“i shouldn’t have even called. does odessa even know you’re on the phone with me? i don’t want her to get mad at you. i shouldn’t have even called” Y/N stumbled over her words due to the excessive amounts of alcohol she’d been drinking and maybe even a mix of anxiety.
“no, i don’t think she has a clue. i told her it was probably my mom, but, i knew it was you. i still have your number saved to my phone… with your ringtone too. couldn’t get myself to delete it, even after all these years” he confessed as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair. he bit his lip in frustration before speaking sternly this time around, “Y/N, honey, tell me…. has he fucking hit you?”
“y-yes. but he didn’t mean to” she tried to excuse her boyfriends actions, though deep down she knew it was a lie. “and yeah if i have to i can go to my brothers but i don’t need anyone’s fucking help or pity” she blurted a little loud.
“fuck, Y/N” he sighed as fresh tears broke his waterline of his azul eyes, his jaw clenched tight.
“it’s okay, drew, i promise. i’m not your problem anymore. i haven’t been for four years now.” she expressed as she drank the last bit of the vodka that was left in the bottle.
“Y/N can you do one thing for m-“ drew was cut off by a soft knock on the reading rooms door, notifying him that someone ,odessa, was on the other side.
“hey, uh you almost done? it’s getting late and i wanna go to bed” she complained to drew as he’d pulled his phone away from his attentive ears.
“u-uh yeah. let me tell my mom goodnight real quick” he stuttered nervously, worried she’d been ease dropping on part of the private conversation he’d been having on the phone with Y/N. and with that odessa nodded her head as she left the room, shutting the door as she went.
“what is it that you want me to promise you?” Y/N sniffled.
“call me if it gets bad again. i’ll fly out there immediately”
“i promise.”
“i never wanna say goodbye” he admitted to her after her promise.
“i don’t either, but you have to” she spoke flatly as she’d just heard Odessa moments before. she opened her mouth, speaking one last line, “i love you drew”
“i-i love you too honey” drew spoke the words he’d been bottling up since the day the two broke up, as fresh tears streamed down his stubbled cheeks. during the moment he spoke those words all he could hear were mavericks yells and bangs onto the bathroom door through his phone, before the call ended all together.
taglist: @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover
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morgana-larkin · 1 month
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MWAHAHAHAHHA. ALTERNATIVE ENDING TIMEEE. The vender flowers fic thing. I am here to request an alternative angst ending. Ok SO *cracks knuckles* Mel still chooses you and still goes to your place to confess. However, when u lean in to kiss her, she kisses u back. Then, smut (y’all sleep together). Then, she goes home to break up w Gary. She explains her feelings and he was so understanding and loving that she realizes she doesn’t want to let him go. So they end up staying together. Then at school u see her w Gary and you’re (patiently) like “hey what’s up have u done it yet like what’s goin on” and she tells u that she hasn’t but she will and that she can’t wait to be with you. Then y’all fuck again maybe or just make out idk, up to u, and you’re all happi and giggly BUT THEN the next day she tells u the truth. That she doesn’t wanna let him go and you’re like “ok so u just used me/lied so u could get the best of both worlds/just to sleep w me” and then idk what she says after that u can pick. And idk how to end this u can pick hahaha.
Alright, I finished it! And before anyone asks, we made a deal that if I do a lot of angst then I can have my happy ending. 😊 Although I think it’s more sad than angsty. And when you put the cracks knuckles, I burst out laughing. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it.
On another note: I notice that half of you put compliments for me in your prompts and I love reading them, you guys are so sweet! 🥹❤️ Also I spent 10 minutes picking out a gif cause I got distracted looking at Lisa…I regret nothing.
The Vendor, The Teacher and The Roses - Alt End
Warnings: where to start? A bit of toxic Mel, angst, sadness, heartbreak, fluff, smut, happy ending. I literally went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions while writing this so good luck!
Words: 7.3k
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“What do you mean when you said you chose me?” You ask her.
“I mean if I went home then I would be choosing Gary, and I know I would lose you. If I came here then I would be choosing you and lose Gary.” She tells you. “And I can’t lose you.” She adds on and you look at her shocked.
“But you can lose Gary?” You ask her and she nods.
“He’s not as important as you.” She tells you and you look down at your fingers and twiddle your thumbs. Melissa takes your hand with hers and interlace your fingers and brings her other hand to your chin and gets you to look up at her. “I want to be with you.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek. She wipes the tear and cups your cheek.
“I want to be with you too.” You tell her and you lean forward to kiss her and she leans forward to kiss you back. Once your lips connect you immediately feel that this is right, where you’re supposed to be and you’re already hooked on her.
Melissa is feeling the same way and she puts her hands in your hair and moans. She pushes you back on the couch to deepen the kiss but you stop her.
“Me-Melissa.” You say and she pulls back and looks at you. “We shouldn’t do anything else, you’re still with Gary.” You tell her and leans forward to you and puts her hands in your hair again.
“I don’t care, I’ve wanted you for so long and I don’t want to wait any longer.” She says and kisses you again. She pushes you back again and this time you let her. She’s on top of you now and runs her fingers down your body and you gasp a bit and she slides her tongue in your mouth. You moan at that and she takes her shirt off and you run your hands all over the newly exposed skin. She brings her mouth to your neck and leaves kisses all over it.
“Melissa, do you want to go to the bedroom? Lot more space on the bed.” You suggest and she groans. She then slides her hand under you and pushes you closer to her and she sits up and brings you with her. She then picks you up and she stands up and carries you to the bed. She goes back on top of you and goes and sucks your neck and you gasp and buck your hips. She then unclips her bra and takes it off then takes your shirt off. Her breasts fall out of her bra and are freed from their prison and you set your eyes on them and stare. “Take your pants off.” You tell her and she pulls back from your neck and looks at you before she takes her pants and underwear off. At the same time you take your pants and underwear off. She then goes back to you and all you have on is your bra and she straddles your lap as you’re sitting against the headboard. She gets hit by a wave of desire for you and starts grinding your leg and you go and suck on a nipple. She takes the opportunity to unclip your bra and take it off then places her hands on your boobs.
You then place her between your legs and slide a finger in her entrance and she moans out. You notice she’s tight and you slide another finger in to really fill her and she falls forward into you. “Omg! Yes!” She says and you slide them in and out and quickly go faster. “Omg! That feels so good! Yes! Don’t stop! Oh fuck!” She screams out.
“You’re so tight. Been awhile?” You ask her and she nods. “Hmm, how long?” You ask.
“3…we…weeks.” She says and you smile.
“He has you and is able to go 3 weeks without sex?” You say and she whines. You figure he must have a lower than average sex drive and it must be driving her crazy as 3 weeks is too long for her. “You know, when we get together, I don’t think I’ll be able to go more than 3 days without fucking you.” You tell her and she whines again. You place a hand on her back and pull her closer to you and she moans. You place your thumb on her clit and she gasps. A few seconds later her legs start shaking and you feel her clench around your fingers. “Go on and cum.” You tell her and she comes a couple seconds later. You stop your fingers but she starts riding them and places her thumb between her legs to rub her clit and she must still need more and you smile. “Oh you’re very horny.” You say and she moans. You move your fingers in her again and she gasps. You move her fingers out of the way and place your thumb back on her clit and rub it. She places her hands on your back and has her body pushed right up against you. Her legs start shaking again and she comes seconds later. This time it’s you that doesn’t stop and she cries out as she feels another orgasm building and she’s sensitive. The next one hits not even 30 seconds later and she screams out as she comes. You pull out of her gently and she’s holding on to you tightly and you don’t move as her heart rate slows down. She then slides off of you and down your body and is on her stomach and connects her mouth to your clit.
“I love how you taste.” She tells you and goes right back to licking your clit.
“Ooohhh Mel…omg your tongue feels so good!” You say between gasps. She then slides two fingers in your entrance and you scream out. It doesn’t take long until you come with her name in your mouth. She pulls out of you and comes to lay down beside you.
You cuddle each other for a few minutes until you stop shaking and you’re breathing normally. You then go and get a cloth and you both clean yourself up. Melissa then gets dressed and she gives you another kiss before she leaves to go home to end things with Gary.
When she gets home, she takes a deep breath before getting out of the car and going inside. She sees Gary sitting on the couch and watching tv and he’s looking at her with a smile.
“Hey, you’re home. Where’d you go?” He says without any judgement, just curiosity.
“I went to see y/n.” She said to him and he nods, knowing you two are good friends.
“How is she?” He asks and she walks towards him.
“Good. We need to talk though.” She says and sits on the couch next to him. He turns off the tv and turns to her and gives her his full attention.
Melissa then explains everything, leaving out the part that you two had sex. She tells him about the friendship you two formed and when her feelings for you started. Then she admits that she found out you feel the same and that’s why she went to see you.
“And I feel bad about it cause you’re really good to me and I never wanted to hurt you.” She finishes and Gary looks at her with understanding. He then explains how he knew something was going on with the way you both look at each other. Then explains that he’s always wanted what’s best for her and to support her. Melissa looks at him shocked. She expected for him to be angry, not supportive of what she wants and she’s overwhelmed with it. She realises she doesn’t want to let him go but also doesn’t want to let you go, she doesn’t know what to do.
The next day Melissa and Gary arrive in the break room in the morning and you frown. You thought she was talking to him last night but then thought that maybe she didn’t want to do it on Valentine’s Day.
It did hurt a bit when you also see them at lunch, being all happy but didn’t mention anything. Melissa noticed your reaction all day and she feels guilty, knowing she’ll have to make a decision. At the end of the day you go to see her in her classroom.
“Hey Melissa.” You say to her and she spins around to look at you with a smile.
“Hey y/n.”
“So what’s up?”
“I’m happy that it’s Friday.” She answers and you close her door.
“Ya so am I. I was wondering if you’ve done it yet or are you going to, you know, break up with Gary.” You tell her and she smiles at you.
“Ya, I didn’t want to do it yesterday being as it was Valentine’s Day and a Thursday but I’ll do it. I honestly can’t wait to be with you.” She says and you go and kiss her. She kisses you back and it turns into a heated make out session. You end up getting pushed to her desk and you go and sit on top of it, continuing to make out with her. You then pull back after making out for a few minutes. “I just love kissing you already.” She says and you smile at her.
“I love kissing you too. And I can’t wait until I can kiss you whenever.” You tell her and she smiles at you.
“I’ll let you know when I break up with him.” She says and boops your nose and you giggle.
“Alright, but don’t make me wait long.” You tell her and she gives you another kiss and then you both leave.
You go home and sit on your couch and watch tv for the rest of the day, waiting to see when she’ll text you that she broke up with him. You don’t get a text that evening.
The next day she comes to your place in the morning and you open up the door and smile widely when you see her.
“Morning Melissa, so does this mean it’s done?” You ask her and she looks down at the floor.
“We got to talk.” She says and your smile drops and you tilt your head.
“Um…ok.” You say and let her in.
You both sit on your couch and she takes a few deep breaths before speaking.
“I spoke to Gary on Thursday night after coming back from your place. I told him everything, well except for us having sex. And he was so understanding and supportive and I couldn’t let him go. And now I don’t want to let him go at all but I also don’t want to let you go.” She admits and you look at her. You’re processing everything that she just told you and you sigh.
“So let me see if I got this right. So you lied to me and used me to just get the best of both? For him to meet your emotional needs and sleep with me to meet your sexual needs?” You ask and she nods.
“I’m sorry, I never want to hurt either of you.” She says and you suck in a breath.
“You can’t have both of us Melissa, it’s one or the other.” You tell her and she looks defeated.
“I don’t know who to choose.” She admits and your anger comes out.
“If you can’t choose then that means that you just don’t want to tell me that it’s him you’re choosing.” You say sternly and she goes to answer but you don’t want to hear anymore. “Get out.” You grit through your teeth and she looks taken back by your words. “I said get out!” You yell and point to the door. Melissa is on the verge of tears so she does as you say and leaves.
You immediately block her number and text Ava asking if she has plans tonight. She texts you back and tells you what club she’s going to and if you wanted to tag along. You immediately accept and you go to the bar with her and a couple friends of hers and you get drunk. You dance most of the night and get hit on by men and women. You kiss a couple women and by the end of the night Ava gets you a ride home.
You spend Sunday morning trying to not die and get rid of your major hangover that doesn’t leave until the afternoon. Then you spend the rest of the day doing chores, grading and making a couple changes to your lesson plan.
On Monday morning Melissa tries to talk to you but you shut her down and avoid her. You end up avoiding her all day, which is followed by all week and followed by all month.
At the start, Melissa tries to talk to you every chance she gets and found out quickly that you blocked her. As the days go on with you doing everything to avoid her, her hope and determination of talking to you and trying to make it up to you, goes down. You see she eventually gets the hint and stops trying to talk to you. You see she still glances at you throughout the day but those become fewer and fewer as the days pass. Glances you can handle though, as long as she doesn’t try and talk to you then you can deal with her looking at you.
Eventually she stops looking at you at all and you two are basically just co workers who don’t interact. You start to make friends with other teachers that aren’t friends with Melissa or anyone that is friends with Melissa’s friends. Everyone notices the growing distance between you both and Barb is the first to mention something.
“What’s going on with you and y/n?” Barb asks, about 2 weeks after you started avoiding her.
“Nothing, nothing is going on.” Melissa says with a bit of anger. No one mentions it again but feels bad that Melissa is taking it hard, while you seemed to have moved on easily. Ava did mention that you went out to a club with her and her friends and kissed a couple girls, to which Melissa was shocked and got upset at that.
You want everyone to see that what happened between you and Melissa didn’t heavily affect you but in reality, it crushed you.
About 3 months later, you’re having a rather rough night after a bad date so in a split second decision, you unblock her number. All the texts that she sent you in those 3 months pop up and you’re shocked at the amount of texts there were, probably about 200.
Melissa knew you blocked her number but still chose to text you anyway, it made her feel better and no one tried to stop her.
You read all the messages and you feel like you went on a rollercoaster of emotions. She starts with saying how sorry she is about what happened and that she broke up with Gary a week after. Then she goes on saying that she misses you, she misses having you around her, even just as a friend. She says that she wants to have you back and will do anything to make it up to you.
You start to feel sympathy for her as you read them and then remember what she did and how it made you feel and then go back to angry at her and continue reading.
The texts start to get a bit angry as she’s upset about what happened and obviously going through the 5 stages of grief. She goes on saying a bunch of English and Italian curse words, some directed at you and some about the situation. She then goes and apologises for everything she said, even if you never see the texts she’ll know what she said and would feel bad about it. It takes you a good 2 hours to get through all of them. Her last text being the one that hits the hardest.
Melissa: I know you haven’t seen any of these and might never. But wanted to apologise for everything that happened. For not noticing the signs, not having the courage to admit my feelings, and then putting you through hell and having sex with you. I never wanted to use you, it was never my intention. And I’m sorry about the fact that it took losing you to figure out what I want. I guess it’s true what they say, you never know your lover until you let her go. I spent almost 3 months sending you texts, I don’t even know why, but it made me feel better in a way. But now it’s time to fully let go of everything. I wish you the best luck and life you could have and I’m sorry that I messed it up and won’t get to see you thrive and live your best life. Love, Melissa
You cried so much that night and you think about everything that happened and everything she told you and all the texts she sent you. Melissa on the other hand didn’t notice that all her texts went through to you, even the one she sent a week ago. The one she knew she had to send to finally let you go and move on herself.
A week goes by as if you didn’t read all her texts. You’re debating whether you should talk to her or not and think that you should protect yourself and your heart from her. But on the other hand you think about her texts and how hurt she sounded. You see her throughout the day and see that she’s now mostly healed from what happened and you shouldn’t put each other through that again. You come to the decision that you two will never talk and be in each other's lives again.
That day happens to be the same one that you’re too in your head and don’t see a car coming straight for you. All the teachers are heading out to their cars across the street, as they’re fixing the parking lot. You’re crossing the street and it seems you parked right behind Melissa so you two are heading in the same direction. You start crossing the street as she’s saying goodbye to Barb and about to cross as well. Melissa sees a car coming and you don’t notice as you’re crossing, she immediately starts running towards you, and pushes you out of the way right before the car hits you.
Melissa gets hit by the car instead and goes flying into the windshield. Luckily the driver was slowing down as he noticed you walking out onto the street, he still did damage to Melissa but fortunately didn’t kill her. The driver was able to fully stop and got out to go check on her, as well as Barb who saw the whole thing. You hit the pavement and turned around to see Melissa hitting the windshield and rolling off the car. You run towards her as well, overwhelmed with what just happened. You all go towards her and the driver calls for an ambulance.
“Melissa!” You say as you reach her and she’s unconscious as she hit her head on the windshield.
“Oh my Lord!” Barb says as she reaches you both. You both stay by her until the ambulance arrives.
Janine, Jacob, Gregory, Ava and Mr Johnson end up seeing the commotion before the ambulance arrive and go towards it to see what happened. As they get closer they realise Melissa got hit by the car and they start running.
“Omg what happened?” Janine says and sees you with Melissa’s head in your lap and Barb trying to comfort you.
“All my fault!” You exclaimed through tears.
“No it’s not dear. You forgot to check for cars and didn’t notice the car coming, it happens. But it was Melissa’s decision to push you out of the way and got hit by the car instead of you.” Barb says and Janine and Jacob gasp. Ava puts a hand over her mouth in shock, Gregory and Mr Johnson are too stunned to do anything. They all stay with you until the ambulance arrives.
The ambulance gets there 4 minutes after the call was made and they check her over quickly and say she has to go to the hospital for further examination and treatment. They gently and quickly put her on the stretcher and into the ambulance, and then drive to the hospital.
They all stay next to you as they all watch the ambulance drive Melissa to the hospital. You’re still blaming yourself for what happened and even wish that she didn’t push you out of the way. She shouldn’t pay the consequences for your mistake.
You look defeated and walk towards your car and Barb speaks up. “Dear, do you want to get a ride with me and Gerald to the hospital?” She asks you and you turn around.
“Why would I go to the hospital?” You ask her.
“To go see Melissa.” She says with a gentle tone.
“I’m not going to see her. This is all my fault. I mean why did she even push me out of the way? She should have let me get hit by that car!” You say and everyone but Barb leaves so you and Barb can have privacy.
“Sweetheart, it was Melissa’s decision. And she pushed you out of the way because even though whatever happened between you two happened, she still cares about you and would rather save you then watch you get hurt.” She explains softly.
“We haven’t talked in 3 months because I cut her out of my life! How can she still care about me?” You ask with tears in your eyes.
“Melissa feels deeply for people in her life. Once you find yourself in her life then she has hard time letting go, I saw her struggle with trying to let you go. She never said what happened, all she told me was that she screwed up with you.” Barb tells you and you’re crying at this point but you stay away from her when she tries to comfort you.
“I’m not going to the hospital, it’s my fault she got hurt and I don’t want to hurt her more. I do hope she makes a full recovery quickly though.” You tell her and Barb knows you’re not going to change your mind and lets you go. You go to your car and drive home.
She gets Gerald to drive to the hospital to go see Melissa, as well as the trio. They’re surprised when you don’t show up and Barb tells them that you blame yourself. Melissa does end up waking up a few hours later after the doctors treated her injuries. Janine was the first to notice and makes her way to her side beside Barb as Gregory goes to get a Doctor saying she’s awake.
The doctor asks her a few questions and checks her over again and says that she’s healing properly and should be good to go home in a few days. They did mention she’ll need crutches as she got hit in the leg and they put a cast on her left leg. Once the doctor leaves, the trio stays for about half an hour before heading home. As soon as they leave, that's when Melissa asks Barb about you.
“I’m sorry, I tried to get her to come but she was very against it, saying she doesn’t want to hurt you again, and blaming herself for what happened.” Barb tells her and Melissa groans and puts her head back on the pillow. “If it’s any consolation, she was surprised that you pushed her out of the way. She thought you didn’t care about her anymore.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her.
“On Valentine’s Day she was going to see me with flowers and a card to confess her feelings for me. She saw how Gary and I declared our feelings and threw out the flowers and the card in the garbage. I guess she must have kicked it in anger cause the bin was knocked over and I saw the flowers and the card. I went over to her place right after and we both confessed our feelings.” Melissa is finally telling Barb what happened. “But then I screwed up. We didn’t hold back and we…we had sex. Then I promised her to go and break up with Gary. I went to do that, like I talked to him about it all but the way he was supportive and understanding made me not want to let him go since it’s been so long since I had a partner like that.” Melissa says and Barb nods in understanding. “She came and talked to me the next day and I promised again to break up with him. But then on Saturday I went over to her house and told her the truth and I said I couldn’t choose between them. She got angry and told me to get out.” Melissa finishes. “That’s what happened.”
“Melissa, you made a mistake, I mean my god. You and y/n are both putting blame on yourselves for making a mistake because you’re human.” Barb says. “It’s not your fault that Gary’s support and understanding made you feel good and left you confused because Joe kept hurting you. And it’s not y/n’s fault that she got distracted and didn’t notice the car coming at her and the fact that you pushed her out of the way and got hit instead.” Barb says and Melissa sniffles. “She got so mad at herself that she wished you just let her get hit.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her in shock. “I know you wouldn’t have let that happen and I told her that. But something tells me that there’s more to y/n’s side than she was letting on.” Barb tells her and Melissa goes to her phone to go to your texts to see pictures you sent her. And that’s when her face pales instantly. “What?” Barb asks when she sees Melissa’s face.
“They sent. All the texts that I sent her got delivered. That means she unblocked my number and she must have read them or at least a few of them. Probably not all since I sent a lot.” Melissa says and rambles a bit.
“Do you know when she unblocked your number.” Barb asks.
“It says it was delivered…last week.” Melissa says the last 2 words quietly.
“You know I did notice that she was distracted this week and that she looked at you a few times.” Barb says, knowing that you acted differently this week but didn’t say anything. When you cut Melissa out, you also cut out her, the trio, Ava and Mr Johnson, pretty much everyone in Melissa’s life from school.
A week goes by and Melissa returns back after that. The cast has to stay on her leg for a month and then a brace after for another month. She’s using crutches that she learned to use in the hospital during her stay there.
You secretly spy on her for a week when she returns and you see her get frustrated a few times about her limitations. You stay away though, thinking it’s the best course of action. You even hand Ava your notice, saying after the school year ends in a month, you’re not coming back. Ava accepts the notice but never approves you leaving, she said she’ll put it through on the last day.
On the second week that Melissa returns, she moves one of the crutches wrong, causing her to slip and fall. You happened to be right behind her and you caught her. It took both of you a second to figure out what happened and you lock eyes when you help her back up.
“Thank you.” She tells you and you look down at the ground before looking back up.
“I should be thanking you, this would have been me if you didn’t push me.” You say and she stares at you. This is the first time you guys talk to each other in over 3 months. “Melissa, why did you push me? Why didn’t you just let me get hit?” You ask, the guilt eating away at you.
“Why would I let you get hit? I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt, especially if I could prevent it.” She says. “I’ll take having to walk around in a cast and with crutches, and cursing when I can’t do something the same way for a bit, if it means that you don’t have too.” She tells you genuinely and you’re speechless.
“How have you been getting to school and back?” You suddenly ask and she tilts her head at you, confused.
“Barb and Gerald have been driving me. They let me sit in the passenger seat to have room for my leg, and they help me in and out of the car.” She explains.
“Can I drive you home tonight?” You blurt out and it takes both of you by surprise. “To give them a break and as a thank you for saving me.” You tell her and she smiles.
“You don’t have to thank me.” She tells you.
“I do actually. I don't know many people who would save someone from getting hit by a car and let themselves get hit instead.” You tell her and she looks down and blushes.
“If you really want, then sure. I’m sure Gerald and Barb would like the break.” She says and you nod.
“Ok, I’ll come to your classroom after school then.” You say and she nods and you walk to your classroom. Melissa watches you walk away and she sighs contentedly. Maybe she can make it up to you after all.
Ava saw the interaction and passes by Melissa. “You might want to interact with her while you still can.” Ava tells her and Melissa looks at her confused.
“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks.
“It means that she gave her notice a couple days ago. After the year is done then she’s not coming back.” Ava tells Melissa, and if she didn’t have crutches then she would have fallen right there.
“She’s leaving?” Melissa mutters but Ava hears her and nods.
“Like I said, interact with her while you still can. There’s 3 weeks until school is done.” Ava says and walks away.
Melissa feels like the weight that once crushed her 3 months ago came back. You were leaving Abbott in 3 weeks and she didn’t know why. She thought you loved it here.
At the end of the day, she’s sitting at her desk when you come and knock on her door that’s open, signalling your presence.
“Ready to go?” You ask and she looks at you. You were probably never going to tell her that you’re leaving, this favour you’re doing is the only thing that you’ll probably do as a thank you before leaving. You were probably just going to finish up the last 3 weeks, and not mention to anyone that you’re leaving. And just leave them to figure it out when they don’t see you again. A bit of anger courses through her at that.
“Why are you leaving?” She asks you and you look at her stunned. You told Ava to not tell anyone, you just want to leave quietly.
“Ava couldn’t keep her mouth shut I see.” You say and her face gets more stern. “I’ll tell you in the car.” You say and she takes that compromise. You help her up and then walk beside her all the way to your car. You take her crutches and help her stay up as she gets in the car and then put the crutches in the back seat.
You get in and start the car and start the way to her house. You see her looking at you and you sigh and take a breathe before answering her question.
“I’m leaving because I have too ok.” You start and she looks confused. “I don’t belong here anymore. I made a couple friends with teachers but nothing too serious. I feel lonely here and all the students and teachers know that you got hit because you saved me. Do you know how many weird looks I get from people daily? I lose count. And I feel guilty everytime I see you or when I hear your crutches. You’re the only one who made me feel welcomed when I got here, and then I cut you and everyone you know at Abbott out of my life. So now I have no one. I figured it was best to leave and just start fresh.” You tell her.
“And you weren’t going to tell anyone?” She asks.
“There’s no one to tell.” You tell her casually and with a shrug. That got to her, the way you said, like you accepted it.
“You told Ava not to tell anyone.” She says.
“That’s because I didn’t want anyone asking why I’m leaving.” You say and glance at her.
“How many of my texts did you read?” She blurts out and she sees you tense. “I saw they got delivered to you, a week before the accident.” She tells you and you sigh.
“I came home after a bad date and I felt vulnerable so I unblocked your number.” You tell her and she gets surprised by you having a date, that means you’re dating again. Melissa decided to break up with Gary and swore off dating forever, not wanting the drama and pain it causes. “I read all of them.” You admit and her eyes go wide. She thought you would never see a single one and it was her way of therapy for losing you.
“I thought you would never see them.” She says and looks down.
“Well whatever the reason you sent so many must have helped as you moved on.” You tell her and snaps her head up at you. “You said so in the last text and you seemed lighter, the week before the accident.” You say. “It’s part of the reason why I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” You admit.
“What are the other reasons?” She can’t help but ask.
“The fact that I cut you out of my life and you eventually stopped trying to talk to me. I thought you’re the queen of cutting people out and not having any emotional attachment to people that you cut out. Also, I thought you’d be happy with Gary and forget about me.” You tell her and that stung her.
“I broke up with me and I swore off dating.” She tells you and you let out an airy laugh.
“Ya right. Melissa, I know you, you want to be loved, you want to spend your days with someone. For them to give you physical affection and you love cooking for people that you love and want to show that you care.” You tell her.
“You’re right, I want to spend my days with the right person. But that person cut me out of her life because I fucked it up.” She tells you and you’re glad there’s a red light or else you might have made a mistake while driving. “So yes, I gave up because I didn’t see a point.” She tells you and you turn into her neighbourhood. You’re silent for the minute it takes until you pull up in her driveway and then you turn to look at her.
“Why didn’t you choose me then?” You ask her. “I gave you a choice. You told me on Valentine’s Day that you chose me then 2 days later you said you're not choosing me anymore.” You obviously still have anger about what happened.
“I went home and did start to talk to Gary to break up with him. But I never got so much support and understanding that I got from him from anyone else, including Joe. It felt nice and I got confused. I broke up with him a week later but by then it was too late, I already lost you.” She says and a tear rolls down her cheek from remembering how it felt to lose you. “Y/n, it took me 3 months to not always feel the pain of losing you. All I wanted was to talk to you, for you to have me back in any way that you were comfortable with, because I just wanted you in my life. I looked lighter like I moved on but I didn’t, it seemed like that because I was adjusting to life without you, I was finally forcing myself to accept that you weren’t going to be in my life again.” She tells you and looks you in the eyes. “Then I saw that car coming right for you and you didn’t notice. So before I even thought about it, I was running towards you and pushed you to safety, knowing it was you or me that was going to get hit. And I chose for me to get hit, because I care about you. And honestly, if I knew everything that was going to happen, I would have still done it.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek.
She goes to wipe it away but you beat her to it. You turn away from her and wipe your eyes. “Come on, I’ll help you get to your house then I’ll leave you be.” You tell her and she grabs your arm and you look at her.
“You have never been in my way. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I regret not breaking up with Gary when I should have, I regret not choosing you when you gave me the option. There’s so many things I regret and they all centre around you. I regret all the things that made me lose you.” She tells you sternly, making you understand the importance of what she’s saying. You look at her and see how vulnerable she’s being and you’re stunned, she’s never this vulnerable to anyone. Without thinking, you lean in and kiss her. Melissa is stunned for a second then kisses you back. She missed you and even though she only had a few kisses with you, she still remembered what it was like and missed being intimate with you. You pull back a few seconds later with fear in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” She asks you as soon as she sees your eyes.
“I don’t know what came over me. I mean we’re both trying to move on and then I go and do that.” You say and she laughs. You look at her and furrow your eyebrows, confused as hell.
“Oh y/n, I gave you a whole love confession and you think I could ever move on from you?” She asks and your brain goes blank. “You’re adorable. You’re so smart but so clueless. I love you y/n, I always will. No matter what happens, my heart will belong to you.” She tells you and she cups your cheek. “Whether you forgive me or not, whether we’re ever together or never together, if you cut me out of your life forever or let me back in. Even if you break my heart or decide to spend your life with someone else and I have to watch. I will always love you. These past 3 months, I’ve been loving you from a distance. Every day it broke my heart but I never stopped loving you.” She tells you.
“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve watched so many romance movies and read so many romance novels, been to multiple weddings and never heard anything as sweet as that.” You tell her and she gives you a watery smile. She goes to pull her hand back when you don’t react further but you grab it and place it back on your cheek and lean into her touch. You undo your seatbelt and lunge forward and kiss her.
“Woah!” She says as it takes her by surprise. Your lips land on hers and she immediately kisses you back. You pull back after a few seconds and look at her.
“I love you too.” You simply say and she smiles. “I’m not even going to attempt a speech because it will never come close to yours.” You tell her and she giggles.
“I don’t need one. I know how you feel about me. I see it in your eyes and feel it in your kisses.” She tells you.
“You should seriously stop talking, because you’re saying all the sweetest things.” You say and she gives you a kiss.
“As much as I would love to stay in this car with you, my butt is going numb.” She tells you and you get out of the car, grab her crutches and open her door. She uses you to push herself up and balances herself with the crutches. You help her into her house and onto her couch. You feel out of place here and you don’t really know what else to do so you say goodbye.
“Well if you don’t need anything else then I’ll just go.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you.
“You don’t want to stay?” She asks.
“Well do you need help with anything else?” You ask.
“You don’t have to help me with something as a reason to stay.” She tells you and sees the conflict in your eyes. “Well it would help if you stayed. Keep me company cause I’ve been really bored. Sitting here most of the evening with nothing to do. I can’t even cook a lot because that requires two hands and perfect timing. And I wouldn’t mind some cuddles. You were right about that too, I crave physical affection from a partner.” She tells you and you make your way over and sit beside her on the couch. You don’t miss the way she beams when you decide not to leave.
“I knew you were a big softie.” You tease and she glares at you.
“If you tell anyone-”
“You’ll what?” You counter and raise your eyebrows, questioning her threat.
“Well I wouldn’t do anything to you but I’ll have to kill them.” She says and you laugh, knowing her threat is empty.
“I do forgive you btw, for what happened. Do you forgive me for what happened to you?” You ask her and she’s confused.
“Y/n, there was nothing to forgive, you didn’t do anything.”
“If I paid attention then it wouldn’t have forced you to save me.” You tell her.
“Y/n, like I said there’s nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then I forgive you.” She tells you and you hug her. You have your arms wrapped around her neck and body pressed to hers. She puts her hands on your back cautiously then hugs you back. Feeling this is more intimate than any kiss she had with her exes. It’s a hug full of love, of promise to not letting each other go again. And you both keep that promise till death do you part.
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tiedyeflannels · 5 months
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Never Did, Now I do
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Namjoon x reader
Also known as: The five times you blew a kiss to Namjoon and the one time he finally blew one back.
Word count: 3.2k
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A/N: Hi!!! I'm here with a Namjoon fic!!! I got inspired to write this one after watching an edit of Namjoon lives so... Anyway, the text that's "italicized" and in quotations, is dialog in English. Hopefully that makes sense... I hope you enjoy!!
one. - The earliest memory I have of him was when we were 6. 
It was a random afternoon when my parents decided to take me to the park. I was happily playing by myself when someone bumped into me.
“Hey, watch out!” I turned to look at a boy with an apologetic smile that showed his dimples.
He bowed slightly.
“Sorry! I just wanted to know if you wanted to play together because I saw that you were playing alone,” he wondered, scratching the back of his neck.
“What if I was happy playing alone?”
He nervously looked to the sides.
“Well, sorry for bothering you then,” he said as turned like he was about to run away before I grabbed his arm. 
“Hey, I was just kidding! I would love to play with you, um…” I trailed off.
He perked up, “Oh, it’s Namjoon.”
I held out my hand for him to take. “My name’s Y/n! Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand.
We must've been playing for quite a bit of time before our parents called to each of us, saying that it was time to leave. We both groaned, but promised that we would play again when we saw each other. My parents called me again and I started to jog over to them before stopping and blowing a kiss to him. Something I saw my parents do a million times to say ‘bye’.
“See you later, Namjoon!”
two. - I remembered doing it again when we were 13.
“Aren’t you nervous,” I asked as we entered the underground cafe where the rap circle was bound to take place after checking in.
He shook his head as he marveled at the people gathered in front of the stage and the stage itself.
“Nope, why would I be,” he asked looking at me. I gave him an ‘are you serious right now’ face.
“Um, because… I don't know… You’re going to perform in front of people who have been doing this way longer.”
He chuckled, “The way I see it, I’m here to learn, not teach. Those who teach should be the ones that are nervous.”
He smiled brightly, showing off his dimples. I nodded as I took a deep breath.
“Are you nervous for me?”
I shook my head, “No, there’s just a lot of people.” 
“I think you are,” he teased as I looked away.
He placed hand on my shoulder, garnering my attention.
“Y/n/n, there’s no reason for you to be nervous. I’ll be just fine. I have you here to support me and my amazing mind.”
I rolled my eyes, smiling. “Okay,” I nodded.
Moments later, someone on the loud speaker announced, “Coming up, Runch Randa!”
I started clapping with the crowd and looked over to Namjoon, who wasn’t clapping, but smiling and that’s when it hit me.
“Wait, that’s your stage name?”
He nodded.
“Are you gonna keep it when you’re older?”
“Is it bad,” He questioned.
“No,” I shook my head as he chuckled.
“Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something better later, but I’ll keep using this one for now. Plus, I’m not sure I’ll like doing this,” he said, gesturing to the stage.
I watched the person currently performing on stage.
“I’m sure you won’t get enough,” I smiled.
As they finished up their song, we walked over to the stage.
“Thank you for being here.”
I smiled.
“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this for the world! You’re gonna kill it, Mr. Randa,” I cheered.
He smiled before he took the stage. He took the mic and then looked over to me. I blew him a kiss for good luck before he looked forward with determination and started his song.
three. - Another time when we were 19 and he was about to debut on the big stage with BTS.
“I’ve gotta visit more often,” I said, walking into the green room.
“Y/n!” The guys called out as Namjoon turned away from the wall to look at me.
“Happy debut day, you guys! I’m proud of you all,” I said as I walked around and gave them all a hug.
I saved the best for last and stood in front of Namjoon.
“Congrats on debuting, Joonie! I got you something,” I said, holding up the gift bag with black tissue paper sticking out.
He took the bag and looked at me with a confused face.
“It’s nothing too big! I just wanted to get you something,” I said as he placed it on a nearby table and started to open it.
He pulled out a leather bound notebook with a leather strap wrapped around it to keep it closed.
“Y/n/n…” he trailed as he looked at me. I smiled at his reaction.
“If you open it, there’s something written on the inside of the cover,” I pointed out.
He did as instructed, pulling the strap apart and opening the book.
He read aloud, “‘To: Namjoon, Wherever we are, no matter how far apart, I will always be rooting for you! - Y/n’.” 
I looked at him expectedly, “Do you like it?”
He quickly pulled me into a hug.
“I absolutely love it, thank you,” he whispered, nuzzling into my neck.
We pulled apart after a moment and I watched as he put the notebook back in the bag and set it by his things before walking back to me. 
“BTS, you’re on in five minutes,” one of the stage managers called.
All the boys got up, ready to perform.
“We gotta go, but I’ll see you later,” he said and I nodded as he started to walk over to the other members. 
Right before he was going to walk out, “Namjoon!”
He looked back and I blew him a small kiss.
“Good luck out there! I’ll be watching from the sides.”
He smiled and nodded before leaving with the others for their debut.
four. - Again when we were 22 and they were leaving for their Wings world tour.
“I’m not late, am I,” I asked running up to the group that was about to leave for their Wings tour.
Some of them were giving the managers their bags, so they could put them in the trunks and the others turned to look at me.
“What’s that,” Taehyung asked, pointing to the three bags I was carrying.
“Oh right! I brought you guys some food because I wasn’t sure if you’ve eaten since it’s really early,” I said, handing a bag to Tae, Yoongi, and Jin as the rest gathered around.
They all said their ‘thank you’s as they started to dig through the bag, taking out some of the food I packed for them.
I smiled, “Of course! I wanted to see you guys off, but I can’t do it at the airport so I had Namjoon text me when you would leave for the airport.”
I looked at him and he nodded.
“Aww, that’s sweet,” Hobi exclaimed as he brought me into a hug which led the others to hug us effectively making a group hug. 
“Take care of each other and have a safe trip! I’ll see you at your last concerts,” I said, pulling away from the group.
The managers let them know that they would have to leave soon and that they should get ready to leave. 
We all said our ‘bye’s before they started to get into one of the cars.
That left me with…
“Y/n,” Namjoon said, grabbing my attention as I turned to look at him.
I hummed in response.
“Thanks for coming to see us off.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss this for the world… Though, it’s super early,” I said through a yawn.
He smiled.
“Plus, who’s gonna remind you to make sure to not lose your passport.”
He laughed, “That was one time!”
“Doesn’t matter! Knowing you, you would probably lose it again so make sure to give it to Yoongi or Jin,” I teased as a smile grew on my face.
“I’m gonna miss you,” he said, pulling me into a hug.
“I know, but I’ll see you when you come back.”
I pulled back, holding both of his hands and looked at him.
“Look at you, going on your first long-term tour! I’m so incredibly proud of you, Joonie,” I smiled.
He pulled me back into the hug, holding tightly. “I’m really gonna miss you, Y/n/n,” he whispered.
I tightened my hold on him, too, “I’m really gonna miss you too, Joon.” 
We stayed like this for a bit before Jin yelled, “Namjoon, the managers said we have to get going soon!”
He quietly groaned in frustration and I laughed as I pulled away because I know that he rolled his eyes.
“Please be safe and stay healthy. If you ever need anything, I’ll always pick up, okay?”
He nodded.
I nodded too before sighing, “You should get going.”
He nodded once more before he started walking toward the cars with the other members. He was about to get in when he looked back at me. He waved to me and I smiled as I blew him a kiss and waved before he got in the car and closed the door.
five. -  The last time was when we were 25 and I had to leave for a while.
“Are you sure that you’re going to be okay,” Namjoon asked, taking the last bag out of the trunk and placing it on the ground.
I smiled at his concern.
“I’ll be okay, Namjoon.”
“I’m just making sure.”
“Trust me, I’m not one to lose my passport unlike some people,” I teased.
“You’re never gonna let that go, are you,” he rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. 
“Nope,” I shook my head and he sighed, accepting his fate.
He walked up to me, rolling the suitcase over and handing it to me. I placed my bag strap over the handle and let it rest on the top of my suitcase.
“Remind me again, how long are you going to be gone,” he asked. 
I rested my hands on the handle of the suitcase as I thought, “Hmm… two, three years maybe.”
He groaned, “That’s so long…”
I chuckled, “It’s not that long. Three years can pass in the blink of an eye.”
He nodded and sighed lightly, “I know, but I’m gonna miss having you around all the time.”
I pushed my suitcase to the side and walked up to Namjoon, pulling him into a hug which he immediately returned.
“I’ll be back before you know it. I promise,” I whispered, nuzzling my face into his neck. 
We stayed like this for a few more moments, then I gave him one last squeeze before pulling away from him and taking out my phone to check the time.
“I should get going before I miss my flight,” I said as I grabbed hold of my suitcase.
“Would that be such a bad thing?” 
I smiled sadly at his question. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to stay here, with him, but my job had offered me an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up so I agreed with the clause that it wouldn’t be a permanent relocation. 
I started to back up, so I could put some distance between us.
“I’ll text you when I land, okay?”
“Okay,” he nodded.
With that, I turned and started to walk away. I was about to go through the doors to the airport, but stopped and turned to face Namjoon before blowing him a kiss and waving goodbye.
He smiled as I turned to leave him for a while with a promise that I’ll return soon.
~
It had been two and a half years since I moved to the US. 
Namjoon and I haven’t kept in contact as much as I thought we would. When I first moved, we always made it a point to text each other a couple of times a week, but we both started to get really busy so we couldn’t talk as much.
Now here we are, barely talking to each other unless it’s a holiday or birthday. Though, I always made sure to keep up with what he was up to and that meant watching his lives. 
I saw the notification when I opened my phone once I put my stuff down after I got back from work. I tapped it to open it up as I placed it on the kitchen island and propped it against the closest object.
I went to the fridge to grab the leftover take-out from the other day and proceeded to put it in the microwave to heat it up. At the same time as me starting the microwave, the live finally loaded and I could hear Namjoon talking.
I watched him just talk for a bit before the microwave beeped, signaling that the food was done heating up so I walked over and took it out, then went to get a fork out of the drawer before going back to the island so I could start eating. 
After a while, I saw a specific comment: Oppa, why do you blow kisses at the end of your lives?
He must’ve seen it too because he answered, “Because you guys ask.”
I smiled and he continued, “And because someone very close to me did it all the time for me, but I never did it for them. I haven’t seen them in a while and I kind of regret not doing it back all those years, so now I do it for you.”
After a bit, he started to say ‘bye’ to Army before blowing a kiss and turning off the live. I smiled sadly as I pressed the home button and turned off my phone, thinking about what he said earlier.
I sighed when I got up and put my dishes in the sink, ready to go to bed, hoping that I would be done with my job in America soon, so that I could go back home…
~ Two months later ~
“Congrats, Y/n!”
I looked up from my computer to see Lyn standing over my desk, grinning like a maniac.
“What do you mean, Lyn,” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.
“Well, you know how you always say that you want to finish up here so you can go home? Now you can!”
I shot up from my seat once those words left her mouth.
I looked at her in disbelief, “What, really?!”
She nodded happily, “Yep! Everything was finalized earlier today and they just sent out an email stating that everyone from the Korea branch is good to move back starting next week.” 
I smiled brightly at the news. I finally got to go back home, where my family and friends were, where Namjoon was.
one. - When we were 28 and he finally blew one back to me.
I was walking with a staff member through the halls of the concert venue that Namjoon was set to perform within the hour. It took a few minutes before we arrived at the “Artist Room”.
The door was open, seeing that there was staff frequently going in and out of it so I peaked my head in.
He was sitting on the couch, hunched over, and writing in a journal with a frustrated expression on his face. I quietly chuckled when he shook his head and scribbled over what he just wrote before sighing. 
My gaze fell to the journal and after a few moments, I realized that it was the journal that I gave him all those years ago. I remembered that he once told me that he explicitly uses it to write lyrics, which makes sense watching him right now.
“Do you always write lyrics before a performance,” I questioned.
His head shot up to look at me and he dropped his pen, whatever he was writing was forgotten. I smiled as I walked further into the room, stopping a few feet in front of the coffee table as he stood up. 
He quickly rounded the table, scooping me into a hug and spinning us around. I laughed at his excitement before he stopped and set me down.
He backed up and looked at me with a small smile and surprise in his eyes. “What are you doing here?!”
“Well, I couldn’t miss my best friend’s first solo concert, now can I?”
He pulled me back into a hug before he said, "I'm sorry."
“For what,” I chuckled confusedly.
“For not trying harder to keep contact with you.”
I hugged a little tighter, “It’s not your fault that we were both super busy. Plus, our timezones weren’t exactly the nicest.”
He pulled back, “Wait- ‘weren’t’? Does this mean…” 
I happily nodded.
“Yep, I was cleared to move back last week so some of my things are still on they’re way, but I’m back for good!”
A giant smile made its way onto his face, showing his dimples as I told him the news.
We just stood there, looking at each other until a staff member tapped me on my shoulder and told me that I should head out soon for the performance. 
I nodded and sighed, “Well, I should probably get going. I got front row tickets, so I’ll see you after your performance.”
I started to back away from him, but grabbed my hand right before I was about to leave. I looked at him with curiosity.
“Will you go out with me,” he blurted out. 
My eyes widened in surprise at the question, “What?”
“You leaving for so long made me realize how much I like having you by my side. It was hard not being able to call you just to talk about random things or accompanying you to get ice cream at 2 a.m. because you were craving it, but didn’t want to go alone. It broke my heart when I let you go, but I don’t want to make that mistake again so… will you go out with me?”
I looked at him and saw nervousness overtake his face, but there was still hope in his eyes.
I couldn’t say that I didn’t feel the same way because I did. I couldn’t imagine not having Namjoon in my life and the time that we spent apart made me realize that I wanted to be with him, too.
So after a few seconds of deciding I smiled and nodded, “I would love to.”
He smiled and was going to say something, but I held up a finger in front of him to stop him.
“BUT right now you have a performance, so we’ll talk about this afterward, okay,” I raised my eyebrows.
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll see you after the show,” he said as he let go of my hand.
I backed up a bit, ready to take my leave before a thought popped in my head.
“Oh right!” I blew him a kiss, “Good luck out there, Joonie!”
With that I turned around and almost through the door, until Namjoon called my name.
I looked back at him and he finally blew a kiss back.
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ncteez · 2 years
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On Edge. (m.l)
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Dating the strict, well-liked, and loving Doyoung came with its hurdles. Normally, the two of you could communicate and work through the downsides, but what if the newest downside of the relationship is learning that his little brother, Mark, has a bit of a thing for you?
ao3 | m.list | minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it. 
WORDCOUNT― 22.5k
PAIRING― mark lee x fem reader | doyoung  x fem reader
CONTENT― doyoung is 27, reader is 25, mark is 22. boyfriend doyoung, perverted/shy college boy mark, panty stealing, hidden intimacy, needy mark, dom-ish doyoung in smaller/less detailed smut scenes, reader is definitely a switch depending on who she is looking at, uh, brief mention of haechan raging at mark through a headset while he gets pleasured lmao
WARNINGS― infidelity that doesn’t get exposed, foot job but only bc i can’t figure out how to write a scene like this if it’s not her foot lmao
NOTE― not me back at it again with the cheating fics. Idk, i have a thing for mark cucking but also hidden things, and the idea of having both of them :D no, i do not condone cheating..  shoutout to my wife and other ultimate mark fucker @mrkis​ for discussing and brainstorming this shit with me, also for editing it and fixing all of my embarrassing typos.
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― infidelity,  rough doyoung, mark listens through the walls, tons of masturbation, he also steals panties and gets caught and embarrassed by reader, mentions of double penetration, lil under the table moment with mark, foot job but i swear im not into feet just hear me out ok? It’s brief i swear, sexting and phone sex, reach-around hand job, mark isn’t entirely subby when he finally gets his dick wet, penetration, pet names, g-spot stimulation, cream pie, unprotected sex, 
             The two years you’ve spent so far with Doyoung can arguably be considered the best of your life. He’s accommodating, listens to all of your problems, touches you in all of the right ways, and he’s even well-liked by your parents. You love your boyfriend enough to spend countless nights at his place just to get away from your own. It’s comfortable there, and feels like home, whereas your own apartment just feels empty without him. 
             The relationship felt very adult. He was the first boyfriend to stay with you longer than a couple of months, the first one to have his own house, job, money, and car. The two of you were equal, comfortable, and happily in love. Anyone could trust that both of you were running towards the path of marriage, and you’d agree with them if it wasn’t for the fact that your eye is dangerously landing on someone else lately.
             In your defense, your eyes didn’t linger before Mark, Doyoung’s younger brother, moved in. You had no interest in anyone aside from Doyoung. But– Mark is really something else. Cute, loud, obnoxious, and even charming at times. Still, you’ve caught him countless times staring for too long at your legs when you wear shorts around the house, lingering in the room when Doyoung has his lips on yours, and even stuttering through conversations with you after a wild night in the bedroom with his older brother. 
             It was cute at first, but as the months went on, you started staring at Mark a little more. You’d note that he gets flustered easily but can’t bring himself to leave any given situation that causes such a reaction. He gets hard sometimes too, you can see it, and occasionally you can hear him take care of it too. 
             The first night you heard it, Doyoung was sound asleep next to you after a long, drawn-out session of putting you in your place(sexually). You were comfortable beside him, listening to his soft snores and finally settling yourself in to close your eyes and sleep too.
             It was so silent, the entire house seemed as empty as it always had been outside of you and your boyfriend, except for the fact that Mark is in this house now too. You shoot an eye open at the sound of a muffled moan through the wall. You could tell he tried to prevent it, noticing that it appeared to be choked back almost as quickly as he let it fall from his lips.
             You lay there, first attempting to sleep but ultimately falling victim to the thoughts of what Mark must have been doing just a wall over. You felt guilty about the images, imagining how cute he must look tugging at himself and whimpering, frustrated at how he can’t make a sound. Mark knows how thin the walls are, you’re sure of it. Even you and Doyoung have tried to be quieter so Mark doesn’t have to hear it and feel uncomfortable. 
             The choked-back sounds he was letting out every few minutes only furthered your thoughts into the danger zone. You realized you wanted to watch him. You wanted to help him. As Mark hit his high, you hear his bed frame hit the wall one time, hard. The image of him lying on his back and fucking against his fist was long gone, now images of what position he could have been in for the bed to hit the wall fills your mind. What was he doing? 
 ~
 “Good morning sunshine!” You sing out to your boyfriend when he rounds the corner in a sleepy show of how much he doesn’t want to go to work today. He’s already dressed but you can see the darkened bags under his drooping, half-open eyes. 
             You don’t often make breakfast for him, not that he minds at all, you just felt guilty about listening in on Mark doing his thing again last night and it’s not something you’re proud of. So yeah, maybe Doyoung gets breakfast every time his little brother jerks off, what of it? 
 “Thanks, babe,” Doyoung smiles at you weakly, looking at the warm breakfast you place in front of him. “What if I just call in today?” He asks almost immediately after, tearing his eyes from the food and up to you who had begun to fix a part of his hair that he seemed to have missed. 
 “Up to you, I’ve gotta head back to my place soon though.” You look at him, hands on your hips now as you give him another once-over. “You look tired, maybe you should call out.” 
             Doyoung takes a moment to think. What would his excuse be to miss work on a Monday morning after already having two days off? He’s sick? That wouldn’t work, he ran into one of his bosses just the night before picking up some groceries. Car trouble? Also wouldn’t work, he used that excuse last time and he swore he took his car to the shop that very day to make sure it was in tip-top shape. Death in the family? That’s just asking for bad karma. 
 “Ugh,” Doyoung sighs, picking up his fork and picking around the plate. It looks delicious, honestly, but work is the last place he wants to go right now. “How are you so awake? We stayed up so late, are your legs even tired?”
             You stop mid-step towards the fridge to grab some juice and turn to look at him. 
 “Doyoung, my legs are killing me, and it’s your fault.” 
             He lets out a small laugh, giving himself a gold star for making you come just as hard as he always did. “Yeah, guess it is my fault, isn’t it?” He prods for more compliments.
 “That aside, are you going to call out or?” 
             He shakes his head, taking a bite and trying his best to enjoy this last hour of freedom before a nine-hour workday. 
 “No, I don’t think I’d have a good excuse today. You’re going home anyway too, I’d just be bored,”
 “Umm–” Mark’s voice chimes in as he scuffs into the kitchen with socked feet. He yawns wide and side-eyes you only for a moment before flopping down on the chair next to Doyoung with his legs spread wide. He looks like such a college boy. Looking equally as tired as your boyfriend and hair far messier, you note his side eye. “Are you saying I’m too boring to hang out with?”
             You let out a small chuckle at Mark’s words, and Doyoung just groans about it. 
 “You’re still just as annoying as you’ve always been. I’d rather be wasting away at a desk than sitting here listening to you talk about the exam you’re not studying for.”
 “I don’t have exams yet?” Mark protests, looking over Doyoungs food and swiping a piece from his plate. “The semester hasn’t even started.”
 “I’m preparing for what’s to come–” Doyoung drones on in a defeated voice. 
 “Fair,” Mark smiles and looks at you. “So, um, you’re going home today?”
 “Yep, gotta go to work too.” You sigh, pointing towards the stove. “Want some food?” 
             Mark shuffles to his feet to make himself a plate with a small “thank you”, and you can’t help but notice how disappointed he sounds that you’re going home today. 
 “You’re coming over on Wednesday though, right?” Doyoung asks, sipping the mug of coffee in front of him and finally allowing himself to enjoy the food you’ve graciously made this morning. If he’s gonna have to go to work, the least he can do is feel lucky that he’s not going in on an empty stomach. 
 “What’s on Wednesday again?” You smile towards your boyfriend’s now narrowing eyes. 
 “You know what Wednesday is.”
 “Hm, no, don’t think I do–” Smiling wider at the way his eyes narrow even further.
 “What’s Wednesday?” Mark asks, setting down his plate and taking a bite. 
 “Yeah, tell him what Wednesday is,” Doyoung says in an annoyed tone, one that you can tell is a joke. He always plays along with your antics.
 “I think it’s like, national fork day or something.”
             Doyoung brings a hand to his forehead with a laugh. “Fork day? That’s all you can come up with?!”
             Mark is just confused, what’s so fucking great about forks anyway?
 “I’m joking. It’s our two-year anniversary,”
             You hear a spoon clatter to the table and a small cough. 
 “Ugh-” Mark groans, picking the cutlery up off the table and wiping the crumbs clean. “That’s cool.”
             Mark can see the way Doyoung looks at him with his reaction, but it genuinely wasn’t intentional. He just happened to drop his spoon at the wrong time and choke on his food. It wasn’t meant to be as dramatic as it sounded. Also, maybe he’s a little shocked that Doyoung managed to have a girlfriend for this long with how much of a bore he can be at times. 
 Especially someone like you. Mark feels shy at the very idea of you, not just because he’s heard what you sound like when his brother touches you, but also because you’re just, like, really pretty and it makes his thoughts go in every direction when you speak to him. Even now, just over a small breakfast, he’s disappointed that you have a job too. He’s sad that he can’t spend time in this house with you alone even though he knows well enough that he probably wouldn’t have it in him to approach you. Or does he? Knowing that from time to time, like when he first moved in, there had been some days where you stayed over and did your work-from-home stuff. He wasn’t well acquainted with you back then enough to come out and sit with you, and he’s likely not acquainted enough now either, but that doesn’t change the fact that he kind of wants to be around you without his brother taking note of the small crush he kind of maybe developed by being around you.
 ~
             Today is expected to be more exciting than your last anniversary. Mostly because it’s marking a second year with Doyoung and solidifying the fact that the two of you have made it this far without any glaring issues that could threaten the relationship. At least, no issues that Doyoung is aware of. You think that these thoughts and images of Mark swimming in your head are a phase. There’s no way you’d ever actually go through with anything involving your boyfriend’s little brother. He’s just kind of cute to see all flustered, even cuter when he tries to hide how he’s feeling regarding you. 
 Mark isn’t  there when you walk through your boyfriend’s door. Unfortunately, neither is Doyoung. Grabbing your phone and checking the time you’re distracted by the glaring text message from your boyfriend that seemed to have been sent some ten minutes ago as you got in your car for the drive over. A little wave of disappointment hits you as you stand alone in the darkened kitchen. 
             Doie: hey i’m gonna be a little late. Boss got a last minute client today like an hour before closing time so i’m gonna be here at least until 8:30, is that okay?
             The disappointment fades away with how good he is at communicating with you. Your last boyfriend who you only dated for like two months always bailed without notice on dates, ghosting you for a full day or two before explaining himself with one of the same excuses Doyoung probably uses to get out of work. You know his job is important to him, and you know the anniversary is important to him. His priority doesn’t always have to be you.
             You: Yeah that’s fine. What am i supposed to do for three hours though?I’m already at your place (sparkly eye emoji)
             Doyoung was great at texting you back too.
             Doie: you could get yourself ready for me to come home ;) 
            You: for three hours?
            Doie: yes???? or you can just go bug mark lol
             The silence in the house tells you that Mark isn’t home.
             You: he’s not here, i figured he went out to give us some privacy?
             Doyoung doesn’t respond for a few minutes, probably because he’s doing something important with his work. By the time you’ve slipped off your shoes and laid against the couch, you get the little ping on your phone.
             Doie: Oh, right, he was gonna go meet with some girl he was talking to. I figured he’d chicken out and not go lol, maybe we really will have the house to ourselves tonight ;)
             Something inside of you twisted at his message. On one hand, you’re happy that you might get the entire house with your beloved boyfriend tonight, on the other hand, you kind of don’t like the thought of Mark losing the ability to get all flustered around you if he’s got someone else doing it for him. Are you jealous? No, but you’re a little selfish. You always liked when men chased you even if you knew it would lead nowhere, even if they knew it would lead to nowhere. It was harmless fun, but now all of your fun is gonna be ruined. The last thing you want to be hearing is Mark railing some girl in his room while you’re trying to sleep. 
             You: oh yeah? lets hope we don’t have to be quiet tonight then, i have //plans//
            Doie: plans? 
            You: better do well on your work so you can come home and see <3
             With that, you set your phone down and reach for the remote. Mark is out with a girl right now? Part of you wonders how he’s navigating it, or if the girl is actually into him. The images in your head are amusing until you realize that you’re not imagining him stumbling over himself with some faceless girl. You’re imagining yourself as the girl he’s out with.
             Still, even on your anniversary, you’re bored and you’ve got some hours to kill. You sort through all sorts of images in your head. From what Mark would do if you were to reject him to what he would do if you didn’t reject him. How he would act if you were leaning in to kiss him, or how he would react if you kissed his neck, started touching his stomach, trailing your hands down– straight until you’re assuming that Mark must be getting a hand job somewhere right now. A little disappointed that it’s not you, you laugh at yourself. 
             Silly thoughts like these are normal, and you’re sure Doyoung has them too. Despite the fact that you’d be weirded out if it were about your little sister if you had one. You’re not hurting anyone passing the time and thinking about how things would go with Mark. Surely not. Doyoung was never shy toward you. Always shooting his shot in charming and convincing ways that have managed to lead to a two-year relationship that’s still going strong. He didn’t leave as much to the imagination at the beginning of your relationship, nor does he now. You can’t even imagine Doyoung being insecure or lacking confidence in anything he does, but then there’s Mark. The little brother appears to live in the shadow of Doyoung. From Mark attending college for the same thing to wanting the same woman that Doyoung is in love with. 
             Are you too full of yourself for chuckling about that? Laughing at the fact that he’s so entirely different from your boyfriend but that’s the exact reason you find yourself fantasizing about the ‘what if’s’ with him? Now the thought of what Mark would do if he knew you were thinking about him this way infiltrates your mind. Would he panic? Surely. Would he blush? Oh yeah, for sure. Would he try to play it off as a joke until realizing you’re serious, visibly shivering as you watch him imagine? Oh– would he tell Doyoung? Would he get cocky? So many thoughts that are both scary, cute, and…hot. 
             You look at the clock on your phone again and realize how slowly the time is passing. Mark’s out getting tugged at by some girl, Doyoung is at work being an obedient employee, and what are you doing? Sitting on the couch in a daze as if you’ve just smoked the biggest blunt full of the most high-quality weed.
             Glancing around a bit, you shake your head at a specific thought. Mark’s room.
 ~
             Against your better judgment and several hours on hand to spend, you find yourself in Mark’s room. You didn’t know why your legs carried you here, but then again you kind of did. Curiosity. You didn’t really plan on snooping or anything, you just kind of wanted to see how he lives when he’s by himself. You wanted to see if he made his bed or folded his clothes, and when you note that the loser definitely does not do either of those things, a flash of pastel blue is catching your attention.
             In the mess of Mark’s room, monochrome colors of black and grey come through the most. From sweatpants to band t-shirts, you weren’t expecting to see a glimmer of pastel silk peeking from under one of his pillows. 
             It wouldn’t have caught your attention if it wasn’t for the fact that you recognize the color and even remember the day you purchased them. Those are your panties stuffed under Mark’s pillow. 
             You find yourself smirking in an evil kind of way as you make your way toward the dainty fabric and pull it from the pillow. You can confirm it now, they’re yours, and you remember wearing them just the past weekend you were over. It was normal for you to leave some of your laundry at Doyoung’s place after staying the weekend, it’s not like you weren’t here multiple times a week or anything. 
             Mark must have taken them from the laundry basket in the bathroom. The thought of him that morning when you made breakfast, acting as casual and normal as ever. The harsher thought of how you listened to him again after Doyoung had fallen asleep the night before, furiously reaching his climax. 
             You spread the fabric against your fingers and laugh at the stain on them. This must have been what he was using that night, thinking of you, surely, right? God, Doyoung would kill him if he found out.
             And just as you go to look around to see if he’s stolen more of your intimate wares, you hear the front door open, and you panic, shoving the panties into your back pocket and rushing out of his room to the bathroom just across the hallway.
             In your slight panic, you manage to stand by the bathroom door and listen to the footsteps coming down the hallway. It’s definitely Mark because Doyoung would have called you to let you know he was coming home. Checking the clock again, it’s barely six and you’ve now got two or so hours pretending that you didn’t just find your panties in Mark’s room. Or, maybe, you don’t have to pretend. Maybe you can just fluster and embarrass him more now. 
             You reach over and flush the toilet and then step to the sink to actually wash your hands because you definitely were just handling cum-stained panties, and then you step out of the bathroom acting surprised that he’s here.
 “Oh!” You exclaim, stepping out of the bathroom and looking directly at Mark through his bedroom door as he’s in the middle of throwing himself against the bed in frustration. “Hey, didn’t think you’d be here today?”
             Mark nearly jumps out of his skin despite knowing someone was in the bathroom. He wasn’t expecting to be addressed by you or Doyoung today.
 “Yeah, me neither.” He groans, throwing his hand over his face. “You scared the fuck outta me–”
 “Aw, why so nervous?” You ask, taking a step forward and leaning against the doorframe to his room, crossing your arms. “Doyoung said you were on a date or something,”
             Mark groans again, lifting his back from the mattress to sit up and shaking his head in defeat. The fact that you’re talking to him right now only makes him feel worse. He’s embarrassed enough by the happenings of the past hour or so, now he has to sit here and answer your questions about it?
 “Yeah, I was supposed to be but she ended up just using me as a ploy.” 
             You only chuckle because of course that’s the type of shit that’ll happen to him, but also like, you’re kind of glad the date wasn’t a date, even if he didn’t know it.
 “A ploy?”
 “Turns out, she was just trying to make some guy jealous. He literally served us. ”
 “Oh yeah? Then what happened?” You question, prying now. 
 “When he was coming up to the table, she told me to kiss her so I did. Then as soon as he walked away, she was back on her phone and texting. She accidentally texted me I guess, saying that ‘the plan is working, he’s definitely jealous’.” Mark mocks the text message in a whiny voice.
             You laugh a little louder this time, eyes darting to the pillow he had your panties tucked under.
 “Why are you laughing? I am miserable.” Mark is casual when he talks about it, but you note that he lets out a small chuckle too. “Why would someone even use me to make a guy jealous?”
             You freeze for a second. Here’s your first opening.
 “Because you’re cute?”
             Mark freezes now too, glancing away from you with what you think is that shyness you’d seen so much before. It was definitely shyness. Out of everything that’s just happened, at least you think he’s cute, but it’s not like he can have you or actually use your compliment as an ego boost considering you’re dating his big brother.
 “Anyway,” You offer an out, noting his avoidance a little more now that you know what he’s been doing in his free time with your personal items. “Doyoung will be home later for our anniversary, sorry for what you’re gonna hear later–” 
             Second opening.
 “I know it’s weird to ask but I left a cute pair of panties last time I was here. They’re his favorite. I can’t find them.”
             Mark stands to his feet quickly and casually throws his jacket over the pillow you had pulled them from earlier. Upon the very mention of your panties, he feels caught like he’s got three shining spotlights directed at him to tell you he stole them. 
 “I don’t know, what color were they?” He awkwardly asks, trying to avoid looking at you, not even questioning that you’re asking him when you’ve never so much as asked what he does in his free time. He can’t even tell that he’s telling on himself right now. 
 “Light blue, silk.” You deadpan, looking at him.
 “Oh, I might have seen them in the laundry. I’ll go look.”
             Before you can even protest, Mark is shuffling past you and rushing towards the laundry room. You follow behind him casually, not in the slightest bit of a hurry.
 “I already checked in here. The dirty laundry too.”
 “Did you check Doyoung’s drawers? He did laundry yesterday, they’re probably in there.” 
             Mark is talking so fast that it’s almost sad. Still, it’s fun.
 “Smart boy.” You compliment with a finger in the air, walking towards Doyoung’s room just to see what Mark would do next when you tell him they’re not there. 
             You lazily look through all of your panties stuffed into Doyoung’s drawers and head back out to Mark’s room. Quietly, you peek around the door and only laugh at him when you see his pillow is overturned and he’s digging through a clothes pile in the corner of his room on the floor. The fact that he didn’t even close his door is hilarious, but you imagine it was an afterthought considering time was against him.
 “Did you find them?” You ask, watching him nervously stop searching and stay in place on the floor facing away from you. You could practically tell the cold sweat that hit him.
 “N-no.” He says quickly. “Did you?” 
 “Yep.” You say, pulling the panties out of your pocket.
             Mark relaxes, choosing to believe that somehow, the panties he had tucked under his pillow managed to walk themselves to the laundry room, step into the washer, then the dryer, and then place themselves neatly into Doyoung’s drawer. Never will he let himself think that you found them, or even worse, Doyoung.
             When his shoulders relax and he turns to look at you, you see him stiffen up just as much as before when you swing the panties around your finger, stopping to present them in a way that shows the massive cum stain. 
 “Guess Doyoung needs to find a new favorite, huh?” You joke, tossing them onto Mark’s bed and walking away. 
             As you walk down the hallway with a smile on your face you can hear Mark’s frantic footsteps rush up behind you. 
 “Wait! It’s not–” He tries to explain the situation away. “It’s not what it looks like!”
 “My panties under your pillow aren't what it looks like?” You turn to face him at the end of the hallway, and with the way he was quickly following you, he runs directly into you and has to stumble back from the close proximity of you in front of him. He’s never even touched you before. Never hugged you, prodded you, or even looked at you for too long when your eyes were already on him. 
 “No,” He goes to say, but you interrupt him. 
 “Mark, you’re lucky it was me who found them and not your brother.” 
 “I know,” Mark stutters out, looking to the floor. “But really, I didn’t mean to-”
 “If you didn’t mean for me to find them, you should have stuffed them further back. They were hanging out for anyone to see, Mark.”
             He stops for a moment. You’re telling him how he should have hidden them?
 “Wait–” 
             Only now does Mark realize your comment of Doyoung needing to find a new favorite pair of underwear before you toss them back on his bed. He’s gotta be thinking too positively to imagine you’re giving him the panties and offering tips on how to keep them from Doyoung, right? Like you only gave them back because you’re disgusted by him, right? 
 “Really, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I took them.”
             And admittance. You feel like you’ve won the game, and you’re definitely in the position to ask more questions. 
 “Why did you take them in the first place?” You ask, taking a step towards him to make him feel overwhelmed. 
             Mark takes another step back, feeling frozen when his eyes glance up at yours. He can’t pull his eyes away this time with the way you’re looking at him. There’s a smirk against your lips and he can’t sense a single bit of anger. Cautiously, he tries to make another excuse. 
 “I don’t know why.” He deadpans, staring down at you as you look at him and take another step forward. 
 “I think we both know why you stole them.” You smile wider, lifting slightly to where you’re just inches from his face. “Did you think of me?”
 “Yeah,” He sighs out, somewhat lost in your gaze as if he has managed to become hypnotized by the way you’re speaking with him. Then he shakes himself out of it, taking a step back with a muttered out string of “I mean, no!” 
                        You close in against him just as you did before, not allowing him to escape the hold you have on him. You’re just as close as you were before he stepped back, and you continue. 
 “You did? Do you listen in on what Doyoung does to me too?”
             Mark takes another step back, this time knowing full well that you’ll just follow him again. And you do, practically walking him back through the hallway and against the wall after passing his room. 
 “I mean,” He admits. “Sometimes.” 
             You smile as he tries to back himself up further against the wall. 
 “Why not all the time?” You follow up, watching the way his lip quivers a bit from the nervousness within him. Unbearably cute is what Mark is at this moment, trapped and caught. 
 “You guys get too quiet, I guess?” He answers as if it’s his own question, wondering if it’s what you want to hear. His belly is doing flips though, admitting these things to you and feeling as if you’ll make fun of him, mock him, tell on him.
 “You’re too quiet sometimes too.” You smile before backing away and turning to walk back toward the end of the hallway. 
             Mark hangs his head wondering what the fuck just happened and if you were actually implying certain things toward him. He can barely bring himself to care that you hear him masturbate. He tries to be quiet, honestly, he does. But it’s hard sometimes when he’s rubbing his cock against the silk of the panties you just gave back to him, even harder when he’s hearing you through the walls and he imagines if you’d make the same sounds for him. 
             Pulled from his thoughts, he hears you turn the volume up on the tv before shouting at him.
 “Oh, and Mark?” You say, waiting for him to respond quietly from out of view.
 “Yeah?” He responds as he makes his way back to his room. 
 “I’ll make sure to be louder tonight.” 
             Mark closes his bedroom door feeling like his body is on fire and like his mind is spiraling into a place where it shouldn’t be. 
 ~
             When Doyoung got home, Mark made it his mission to not step foot out of his bedroom until the two of you were passed out. Thankfully, he had taken a quick bathroom break while also trying to avoid letting you hear that he left his room right before Doyoung came back.
             Mark almost feels like prey right now, but he’s entirely too confused about the entire situation. He tried to be a good person and not fantasize about his brother’s girlfriend by making a tinder profile, but even now as he scrolls through all of the pretty faces, he knows that none of them would just let him steal their panties like you did. Not that it’s a hobby of his or anything, he saw your panties and he took the chance to give him a better orgasm next time around. Now he’s kind of obsessed with the idea though.
             He had already placed the panties back under his pillow and stuffed them further back by now, and hearing you and Doyoung in the living room doing couple-things didn’t really help the confusion in his head. If you’re in there all lovey-dovey with his brother, why did you get up so close to him earlier? Why did you offer to be louder for him? Why did you do any of what you did?
             It felt wrong that everything just made him want you more. Before, he was just being a horny guy, but now he’s like, maybe only horny for you.
             Maybe it’s just a phase, surely it’ll pass. He loves his brother.. Then he finds himself questioning if that’s the truth as the night goes on. 
             Jealousy is a hateful demon. When he hears the shuffling into Doyoung’s room and the giggles coming from both of you, Mark almost wants to hit someone. Why can’t he have that? Why does Doyoung always get to experience the good things in life?
             Not only was Mark used by some pretty girl today, he is now being shown yet again what he can’t have and will probably never have. The jealousy is only worse now, as he faceplants into his pillow and considers moving back in with his parents so that way he can stop wanting what his brother has. 
             The consideration is furthered when he grows frustrated at the sounds of you through the wall. He can even hear Doyoung shush you a few times. Against Mark’s will, his cock starts to grow against the mattress and his thigh, fingers now tucking further under the pillow to find those silk panties that caused his ultimate demise today.
             When he runs his fingers along the fabric, still tucked beneath the pillow, he whines to himself at how pathetic it is for him to keep doing this. Only when he realizes that you’re over there being fucked and being loud specifically for him to hear does he pull them out and roll over onto his back.
             All confusion and worry is left behind now as he replaces those anxieties with the idea of you grinding against him while wearing these panties. He thinks about how you like it, how you move your body, what you’d do with your hands. 
             His cock twitches to be free just a few moments later and he doesn’t think twice about lowering his sweatpants and staring down at himself. He sighs in defeat, noting how much harder he is now compared to the nights before when he weakly worked himself up to the faint sounds of you
             From across the wall though, you’re enjoying yourself far too much. Mark kind of falls into the back of your guilty mind as your boyfriend loves on you. Doyoung came home excited, a hand was on you the entire time from the moment he walked through the door until now. Both hands are on you now as he praises you and pries your legs open. Usually, Doyoung was rougher. He’d do things that drive you insane, edge you, and deny you pleasure over and over again until he felt it was time to let you let go. The added attempts to be silent only made it more fun for your boyfriend, gagging you with his cock, fingers, or even your own panties. Tonight was a little different considering it marks the two-year anniversary of his relationship with you.
             The plan you had for Doyoung tonight was for him to use a new toy on you that you’d bought in secret. He always wanted to try double penetration with you but was never willing to share you, and you don’t mind. You still wanted to fulfill one of his fantasies though, and that’s what the intention was. To your surprise though, Doyoung leaves the toy still in its package on the table and has been eating you out for a solid twenty minutes already.
             He’s focusing on you entirely at this moment and it’s got your head spinning with the way his wet tongue flicks your clit while his lips envelop the entire bud. He’s so good at it, and usually only does this when you’ve been extra good for him like if you willingly choke on his entire length or you let him overstimulate you to the point that getting head from him is painful. 
             His head is between your legs lapping away and all you can do is groan out for him, enjoying the way he’s being gentle and pointed with his tongue. His hands go from your legs to keep them from crushing his head to reaching up to massage your tits. He doesn’t even try to silence you, and you’re thankful to keep your promise to Mark despite not actually trying to right now. And when Doyoung pulls his head back for a breath, he looks up at you and smiles in such a genuine way that it has your heart crashing with the amount of love you have for him. 
             Doyoung loses patience with giving you head after the thirty-minute mark. He wanted to make you come this way and make it last as long as possible, but now he’s feeling neglected and the image of you with that toy you got for him to use is burning images in his mind the more he hears you moan for him. 
 “Changed my mind,” Doyoung speaks out as he pulls back from your core and abandons your clit entirely. He hears you whimper at the loss of pressure and always loved the way you sounded when you did it. He finds himself reaching for the toy a little quicker than he already was.
 “Play with yourself while I get this ready,” He smiles at you, giving you a quick kiss to the forehead before fumbling with the box. 
 ~
             The fact that Mark could hear his brother tell you to play with yourself made him feel insane. Only because of the way you started moaning again and gave him more to think about. The thought of walking in on you one day with your fingers inside of yourself, not quite reaching where you want them to, asking him to take over for you.
             Mark almost wants to put his ear to the wall and takes a moment to ask himself why he wouldn’t do that anyway. He wants to hear you.
             Cock still in hand and tangled against your panties, he shuffles to his feet and presses his ear against the wall. You sound much more clear now, He chokes back his own moan, knowing you’d probably hear it more clearly too considering how loud he is. Knowing you could hear him means Doyoung would also hear him, so he tries his best to hold it back as he starts thrusting himself against the silk in his hand.
             He did well until he heard a choked-out whimper, a slap, and some crude words coming from his brother’s lips. On any other day of listening in, his hard-on would instantly go down hearing his brother but what he says to you through these thin as fuck walls has Mark choking back his own whimper.
 “You like being stuffed with two?” Mark heard at first, followed by another whimper from you. “You’re so wet, it slid right in beside me–”
             Mark can’t even imagine what’s being done to you right now but he can tell you’re loving it in the way your whimpers turn to full-fledged moans that he’s never heard before. 
 “Oh, fuck–” Mark groans out towards himself, looking down at his painfully hard cock against your panties. He starts to move his hand this time, faster than what his hips were doing. Only part of him is trying to match the sounds of skin slapping skin, moving his hand much faster than what he’s hearing happen to you. He’s sure you’d moan like that for him too. Wouldn’t even need two to make you be so loud, surely. 
             And then he’s starting to shake, rolling his head a bit to where his forehead is against the wall. Shamelessly, he whispers his own words to you as he begins to release against your panties. Words of, ‘yeah, you like that?’ and “Better than him, right?” 
             When Mark backs away from the wall, allowing the muffled sound of your loud moaning to be further and further from his ear, he collapses on his bed in a deep breath and then trails his eyes back over towards the wall. You’re right there. You know exactly what he was doing in here but now he can’t tell if you were actually being loud because you told him you would, or if it’s because Doyoung really is that good. 
             The jealousy hits again. It isn’t fair.
 ~
                        It’s been days since your anniversary and now that work is finished, you get to head back over for your regular weekend with Doyoung. Except you wonder how awkward it’s going to be. The soreness between your legs has gotten better but the guilt of how Mark avoided you the next morning got worse. 
             You think you should leave it be, you should just let him have those panties and pretend it never happened, pretend you never flirted with him, and pretend you didn’t tell him that you listen to him masturbate too. You went too far on your fucking anniversary then proceeded to fall even more in love with Doyoung.
             Thankfully, you didn’t go far enough to where it couldn’t be salvaged, so when you leave today, you have the promise in your head that you will leave it alone. You will leave Mark alone and go back to what you were with Doyoung before you ever fantasized about his little brother.
             Except that doesn’t happen because the moment you walk in and see Mark lounging by himself on the couch, shirtless, you find yourself avoiding him more than he was avoiding you. Though he immediately got up with a small apology and rushed towards his room, you had to stop yourself from turning around and going straight back home. Doyoung is there though, back turned towards you as he stirs something in a bowl. 
 “Hey, can you come to help me?” He asks, glancing at you from over his shoulder and showing the smallest glimpse of something smeared against his cheek. 
             Your heart warms at how domestic he looks right now, kicking your shoes off and heading towards him with your weekend bag. 
 “I'll be back in a minute, let me put my bag in your room.” You say, coming up behind him and planting a kiss on his shoulder. He nods to you before you walk out and towards his room.
             Mark’s door is closed and you’re thankful for it as the image of his stupidly attractive shirtless body appears in your mind again. It’s stupid, honestly, you have a whole Doyoung in the kitchen waiting for you, who will probably make you come a minimum of three times tonight, and you’re panic-walking past his little brother’s bedroom because you’re incredibly fucking attracted to him. 
             Stupid. 
 ~
             The self-control you once had is no longer present in your head. The plan to leave it be is less and less attractive in your brain the more you take in the image of Mark in front of you at the table texting away on his phone. You watch him shamelessly as Doyoung goes back and forth in the kitchen. You’re almost completely skewed from his view as you sit here across from Mark. He’s wearing a shirt now, and only glancing at you from time to time but still not saying anything.
             What happened to you avoiding him? No, what happened to him avoiding you? 
             From under the table, you gently kick against his leg to get his attention and his eyes snap up toward you. You look down though, ignoring him instead. But your leg stays there, occasionally kicking against him just to see how long it takes for him to stop reacting to it. 
             Scrolling through your own phone now, you’re swiping through videos, listening to Doyoung clattering through the cupboards, and feeling incredibly warm sitting in front of Mark. You don’t know what’s gotten into you when it comes to him, honestly. (It’s not like you knew how hard he came during your anniversary celebration.) 
             Finally, you slowly trail your eyes back up to his face and note that he does the same, at the exact same time. The two of you share a moment of silence looking at each other. You could almost feel his eyes pull you in without intent. It feels dangerous just to look at him, seeing him in a newer light than what you’d seen in him when it was just amusement on your end. You wonder if he can tell. Probably not.
             He doesn’t look away from you, and you’re not sure why. He just stays still, silent, blinking back at you. Maybe he’s being pulled in too, like a secret agreement communicated just through eye contact. The electricity in the space between the two of you is nothing short of dangerous. Your body almost acts on its own when you raise your lips into a half smile at him and plant your foot on the chair between his legs.
             Still keeping eye contact, you watch him jump at the action but he doesn’t move or push your foot away. Instead, he’s breaking eye contact and looking down, staring down, really, at how your socked foot is planted directly between his legs.
             He doesn’t move, trailing his eyes back to you now with a curious look. You continue, pressing your foot forward just slightly. Mark jumps again and shoots his eyes to the opening of the kitchen. Doyoung is still facing away, stirring something in a pot on the stove. 
             Mark doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, or why he does it, but it’s like his hips press forward out of need rather than want. He knows it’s wrong to have you touching him in any way, even if it’s just your foot. 
             You smile wider, watching the way his face tries to stay casual as he gently scoots forward and presses himself further against your foot. Only now, satisfied, do you look back down to your phone as if you didn’t just do what you did, and like you’re not keeping your foot in place for Mark to grind against. 
             The fact that he’s actually doing that alone is enough for you to feel warm on the inside. All you were going to do was experimentally cross a line to see what would happen. This was a much better outcome than him rushing out of the room in a panic. 
             Offering more pressure against his weak grinds, you can tell he’s looking at you in disbelief and shifting his eyes to keep checking for Doyoung. Mostly because he grinds his hips forward a little harder when he notes that Doyoung doesn’t see anything, and when he moves more weakly, you assume your boyfriend must be moving around and able to easily see Mark fall apart. Alerting him that something is happening, even if he can’t see under the table due to the clean cloth he has draped over the table. 
             You smirk as you scroll to watch another video, feeling his cock harden against your foot, and god, he’s really that desperate? You hate how much you like it, and hate even more that you’re so fucking attracted to him doing this right now. 
             When you glance up, you note that Mark is really trying to concentrate on looking normal, but you can see him so clearly shifting his lower half and you speak up. 
 “Mark, have you seen this meme?” You fake laugh out loud, mostly to stop him from getting too into it and blowing the cover. 
             He jerks his hips back with an annoyed groan, realizes where he is and what’s between his legs, and then jumps into an act.
 “N-no, I don’t think so,” He says nervously, leaning forward to see your phone. 
             You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him closer over the table, lifting him from his seat and whispering. 
 “You need to stop being obvious–” You whisper before releasing him and turning your phone to show him the video.
             Mark lets out a fake laugh at the video  before seating himself and looking dead into your eyes. Then he feels you adjust your foot again, this time further into his chair and seated directly against his painfully hard erection.
             He doesn’t think he can just sit here and let this go on for too long but he doesn’t want you to stop either. It’s the first time you’ve actually come onto him and Doyoung is right fucking there. Mark decides to take what he can get, even if it’s just out of pity from you. 
             You’re shocked when you feel his hand grab your foot and hold it in place before very harshly  grinding against it. Watching him from across the table, he’s somehow manages to make it not look obvious that he’s practically fucking one part of you, still, you find yourself falling apart at the way he parts his lips and bites the bottom one harshly. He’s focused solely on his phone, brows furrowed, but you can tell his eyes are vacant and he’s only focusing on how he’s feeling between his legs. 
             Just as quickly as he started, you feel him push your foot away and he’s scooting back in his chair. 
 “I left something in my room. I’ll be back.” Mark says sheepishly, looking to the floor and rushing into the hallway.
             You watch him rush out of the room confused, so you look behind you hoping Doyoung didn’t like, make eye contact with him or something. It doesn’t appear he did though, because you see him waist-deep bent over in the fridge looking for something. 
             Mark needed to like, not come in his pants from that. He doesn’t fucking like feet, but he likes you. You offered pressure and he fucking took it. He needed to finish himself off and not have to sit there in cum-soiled pants pretending like it didn’t just happen. Naturally, he came to his room to finish himself off out of frustration. Thankfully he’s close enough to reach climax within two to three strokes, right there leaning against his door. 
             Embarrassed by the small sob he let out during his orgasm, he’s quick to rush to the bathroom and clean up before grabbing a hoodie from his room and throwing it on over the t-shirt, mostly so it does look like he came in here to grab something.
             Not even five minutes pass before he’s sitting in front of you again. Mark feels helpless in the way he can no longer bring himself to avoid looking at you, all the way up until Doyoung peeks into the room and announces that he thinks he’s perfected the soup recipe, and is ready for you guys to come try it. 
             You, on the other hand, didn’t look at Mark after he came back. Not much, anyway. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it’s mostly just that you’re coming to terms with the fact that you just crossed a line and you’re not sorry about it. Even after Doyoung places a spoon at your lips and the soup was definitely the most delicious he’s ever made, and even after he’s got his arm around you at the table, across from his little brother who just eye fucked you while grinding against your foot. 
 ~
             The events of yesterday stayed fresh on your mind even as Doyoung lays next to you half-awake and scratching against his arm before cuddling in closer to you. He was so warm, and all you can do is wonder why you're risking this comfort to have fun with his little brother. You’ve already crossed a line and gone too far. You did exactly what you said you weren’t going to do and exactly what you never thought you could do. You’re probably not going to be able to stop even if you wanted to try again, so you opt to just–not think about when it’s gonna happen again or if it’s gonna happen again. 
             Saturday almost flies by and before you know it, all three of you are lounging in the living room to watch a movie. Usually, Mark isn’t as present when you’re with Doyoung but since everything started, he makes himself known much more. He includes himself in things and engages in more conversation. You wonder if it’s because he’s waiting for you to do something again. The worst part about all of it is that you can tell Doyoung is enjoying the time he’s spending with you and Mark together. 
             Even during this movie, Doyoung doesn’t think twice when you lean against him and throw your legs over Mark’s lap to get comfortable. Alternatively, Mark thinks three to four times over when you do it, opting to keep his hands at his sides when he steals a glance at you and notes that you’re comfortable under his brother’s arm. 
             The movie goes on like that and Mark can’t help but feel like it’s taking forever to be over with. Then again, he’s staring at your legs on his lap more than the movie on the screen. It gets worse when there's a jumpscare and your legs are tensing up and moving around against him. At least this time it’s not your fucking foot and he’s got a calf muscle to work with. 
             You did it both intentionally and unintentionally. You weren’t exactly throwing your legs on him to get him to rub against them or anything, it was mostly just to fluster him, but Mark proves himself as someone with zero self-control once again. You feel him twitch under your legs and shamefully, it makes you wet. Like, incredibly wet actually. And in your defense, it’s not like Mark hasn’t seen this happen before, never in an intimate setting like this, but you really can’t help yourself knowing that if you want to get fucked, you’ve got Doyoung right here to do it for you. 
             Adjusting yourself, you pull your legs from Mark and take a second to focus on his lap. The tent in his pants was obvious, but Doyoung pays no mind as his eyes stay on the screen. You watch the way Mark covers himself quickly and looks at you. As he looks at you, you move a bit to look at Doyoung.
             Without warning, your boyfriend is thrown off guard by you suddenly kissing his neck. Mark doesn’t have self-control, and neither do you. You’re not trying to dangle your relationship in front of him, really, you’re not. It’s not your fault that Mark got hard and that caused a chain reaction in getting you wet. 
             Doyoung pulls back to look at you in confusion, smiling but also trying to dodge your kisses against his neck. 
 “Hey, hey slow down–” He turns his face to whisper into your hair. “It’s weird with Mark here.”
             You ignore his whispers and continue to kiss against him, moving your hand dangerously close to his upper thigh. 
             In a way, Doyoung can’t believe that you’re really acting like this in front of Mark. Sure, the two of you have kissed in front of him, and Mark has walked in on some steamy makeout sessions, but it was never intended to be in front of him. Then again, Doyoung knows how needy you can get and how selfish you can be when you’re wanting something specific from him. 
 “Okay, okay–” Doyoung whispers out again, gently pulling himself from the couch and grabbing your hand. 
 “Hey Mark, I think she’s getting tired.” Doyoung laughs with the obvious lie. “Can we finish the movie another time?” 
 “Uh, sure.” Mark responds, knowing full fucking well that you’re turned on because of him. The movie hadn’t played even one sexy scene to get you all riled up. 
 ~
             Come Sunday morning, you were just as turned on as you were the night before. You can feel your body heating the moment you even think of Mark, but Doyoung satiates you well enough. Even there against the bathroom wall as the two of you take a shower. 
             Doyoung took note the night before that you enjoyed it when he humiliated you for doing those things in front of Mark. Asking you if you were really so desperate that you’d let just anyone see you acting the way you did. He plays off of that today too. 
             Waking up hard wasn’t anything weird for Doyoung, and usually the morning showers end up as morning sex sessions anyway. You seemed more willing and awake this morning than any other time, and he’s thankful for it. 
             When he’s got you pressed against the wall as the warm water runs down your back, he doesn’t hesitate to plunge into you all the way with a comment of how much wetter you get when he degrades you. In a way, the punishment and degradation feels deserved, because you are embarrassed by how much you want to touch Mark.
 “You love when other people can see how much you want me, don’t you?” 
             You nod against the cold bathroom tiles, feeling his cock pressing deeply inside of you and making your legs feel weak. You do love when other people can see, but what you mean by that is you love when his little brother can see. 
             Mark, from across the hall, once again hears it all because it wakes him up. Doyoung hadn’t even attempted to keep his voice down while talking to you. 
 “Going so far as letting Mark see? How desperate were you?” 
             Mark’s ears perk up at the sound of his brother saying that, already stirring in his pants at the very idea of you getting off to that. How desperate were you? He wonders how you answer, or if you do. He wonders if you were desperate for him or if it was really for Doyoung.
             Without much more thought, Mark can’t go another day with you here right now. It’s becoming a bit too much, a bit too real, and honestly, he thinks he’s the desperate one right now. Wanting to barge into the bathroom, shove his brother away, and have his way with you. He could never. You’d never let him go that far surely. 
             And by the time it’s all said and done, you leave the bathroom lightheaded and Mark appears to have left the house to do something else.
 ~
             The week passes normally up until Thursday night. You’re rummaging through your cabinets for something to make for dinner when your phone goes off. Assuming it’s Doyoung again, complaining that Friday never comes fast enough, it’s Mark sending you something through instagram, and he’s drunk. 
             MarkLee99_ sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : guess who got drunk on a thursday night and is regretting the fact that i wanna talk to you? 
             Never did you want a paper trail or some type of proof that you and Mark are involved in this weird….thing together. His message isn’t even sexual, it's just a bit intimate that your boyfriend’s brother is sending you selfies while drunk even though you came onto him first. He’s attractive, and entirely too cute right now trying to approach you via fucking Instagram because he won’t do it to your face. Then again, Doyoung is always around. 
 You: let me guess, you’re the one drunk on a thursday night and will probably say some shit that will make you not be able to look me in the eye tomorrow?
 MarkLee99_ : ding ding ding! what’re you doing? 
You: texting you and trying to find food, im hungry. what about you?
MarkLee99_ : bout to make another drink and pretend i don’t have your panties under my pillow
MarkLee99_ : …because i do
             Wow, Mark is bold and confident when he’s drunk. You find yourself smiling over it. You’d never guess or even assume he would try to make conversation with you about that of all things.
 You: oh yeah, you’re definitely drunk
MarkLee99_ : am i being too weird? 
MarkLee99_ : because you’re the one who started it
You: me? I started it? You stole my underwear! 
MarkLee99_ : you’re the one who let me keep them
You: that’s……fair….
MarkLee99_ : so… :) 
             Shy boy is no more at this moment and you almost feel caught off guard. Reminding yourself that he’s drunk, you try to set a boundary in your head and change the subject.
 You: what are you drinking?
MarkLee99_ : found some of my brother’s expensive whiskey, gonna tell him you drank it, he wont be mad then
You: you’re gonna tell him that I drank his whiskey, when he knows I don’t even like whiskey?
MarkLee99_ : yep
             You laugh at his stupidity, finally finding a snack for yourself and settling on the couch with your phone in hand. 
 You: and you’re drinking on a weeknight again, why?
MarkLee99_ : because i want you 
             Oh.
 MarkLee99_ : and i know im not allowed to, but it’s really hard to like, not, i guess
MarkLee99_ : i know im being weird and im sorry, just really drunk rn and wanna talk to you thats all
MarkLee99_ : or we can pretend i never message you and you can delete the messages
You: no, i think you’re being cute. You can calm down, it’s okay
             It’s definitely not okay, but you want it to be. You’re about to do some not okay things too, and cross those boundaries you literally just now set.
 You: so, they’re still under your pillow? 
MarkLee99_ : yea
You: when was the last time you didn’t have them under there?
MarkLee99_ : yesterday
You: oh yeah? 
MarkLee99_ : yea i washed them when doyoung was at work…um
MarkLee99_ : can you maybe wear them again
             God, he really is that desperate. 
 MarkLee99_ : please? you can leave them in the laundry like last time and ill just grab them
You: i’ll think about it 
MarkLee99_ : okay…so…uh….did you like the selfie 
You: i like seeing you in person more, it’s fun when you’re all flustered and stuff, trying to pretend you don’t like it
             Mark is giggling to himself like a schoolgirl, focusing on your messages and hoping to god he doesn’t forget the things you’re saying to him. He’s going to have to delete these messages as soon as it’s over though, for sure. At least he’s not drunk enough to forget the glaring issue at hand here.
 MarkLee99_ : i don’t like it because i always have a boner now lol i feel gross always having to go to my room and take care of it so things dont get weird
You: maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?
MarkLee99_ : wait what
             You’re cheating. As if you haven’t been already. This is blatantly against your moral code and you literally do not care. 
 You: are you all flustered now?
MarkLee99_ : maybe,,,,
You: would you want me to? instead of you having to always run off to your room where I can’t see? 
MarkLee99_ : you’re doing this on purpose, you wouldn’t actually wanna
MarkLee99_ : would you?
You: guess you’ll just have to find out eventually
You: flustered now?
MarkLee99_ : yea, wanna see?
MarkLee99_  sent a photo: 
You:  jesus christ
You: you’re like, really big. I mean, I knew from feeling it last weekend but like, that was my foot lol
MarkLee99_ : yeah what even was that about? i felt so stupid doing that
You: you looked hot when you did it tho
MarkLee99_ : am i really that big? 
You: mark, look at it. im shocked you don’t already have a girl to bury it into yet
MarkLee99_ : could have one ;) 
You: ….yeah
MarkLee99_ : yeah? 
MarkLee99_  sent a photo: 
             Okay, it’s getting to be too much now. You can feel the warmth pooling into your panties already and you wonder if he would be just as eager to lick it up as he is to text you right now. You spread your legs wide, deciding on if you should do it. You’re already cheating, the guilt couldn’t get any worse anyway. 
 You sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : oh fuck 
MarkLee99_ : you’re wet?
MarkLee99_ : sorry i wasnt expecting that
MarkLee99_ : can i save it
You:  :) 
 You sent a photo: 
 MarkLee99_ : you should give me those panties instead
You: okay, ill put them in the basket tomorrow night 
MarkLee99_ : will you still wear the other ones too?
You: you want //two// pairs?
MarkLee99_ : yeah :( 
You:  if it’ll make you keep being cute like this 
             Mark is blushing, flushing, and shaking all at once, one hand on his length  and the other texting you. He’s saved the photos anyway, boring holes into them with the thought of what must be behind that thin layer of sticky and wet fabric. He wants to put his face there, he wants to smell you and swallow you up. 
 MarkLee99_ : can i call you?
             A sharp feeling of fear but an even bigger feeling of arousal hits you. 
 You: I’m waiting. 
             You didn’t have to wait long, watching the bubble of him typing something to you disappear and instead getting a phone call. You know Mark had your number, and you had his, mostly for communication purposes for Doyoung. Never was this supposed to happen. 
             When you answer the phone after taking a deep breath, your eyes are nearly popping out of your head. Mark is shameless. All those nights of hearing him muffled through the wall now coming through crisp and clear on the speaker. If you close your eyes, it’s like you’re in his room with him. 
             You don’t speak, and instead listen. You had expected him to answer the phone stuttering, trying to dirty talk but ultimately failing. It appears his drunken state offers him more than just liquid courage, but liquid lust as well. For a moment you stop and contemplate hanging up. Mark is drunk and you can’t help but feel as though you’re taking advantage of him. Then again, previously sober he basically fucked himself against your foot at the dinner table. 
 “Feel good?” You ask with a chuckle. You can hear the movement of his body through the speaker and you’re aware that through the lack of slapping sounds that your panties are probably silencing what his hand is doing. 
             Mark barely answers. A quick “mhm” ringing through your ears with his deep breaths. This isn’t typically how phone sex would go, considering dirty talking is what gets a person there. Maybe Mark has never done this before, then again, maybe he gets off on knowing you’re listening to him while also alone. 
 “Can you–talk?” Mark asks weakly,  his hand stilling for a moment to focus solely on the image he has pulled up over your phone call. He can barely comprehend that you’re on the other line and he’s looking at your pussy pressing against slick panties.
 “I like hearing you do this,” You say quickly, not very good at this type of thing yourself despite knowing how it should usually go. You slowly start to trace your fingers against your panties, wondering if Mark would be gentle like this too, nervous even. 
 “Yeah?” He asks with a small, choked moan as he begins to move his hand again. “You’re not weirded out?”
 “If I was weirded out I wouldn’t have sent you photos.” You snap, frustrated suddenly with the whole situation that this is your boyfriend’s brother. “Stop calling it weird–” You trail off, listening intently to the shifting sounds you hear through the speaker. 
 “Doyoung isn’t home right now,” Mark suddenly admits, and you can feel the arousal disappear almost instantly as you hear his name. The reality hitting you, but still not caring enough to stop.
 “Don’t talk about him right now, This isn’t right but–”
 “But what?” Mark asks, this time pulling his hand away completely and wondering if you realized you fucked up. Hoping you won’t tell Doyoung, hoping this never gets found out. 
 “I can’t stop thinking about you.” You let out, finally pressing your fingers beneath the lining of your panties. “I know it’s wrong.”
             Like music to Mark’s ears, he feels the eagerness in his body swell to the point that it’s difficult to maintain. Doyoung has everything that Mark wants. A good career, a nice house, needed life skills. All of those things could be obtained with hard work and effort for Mark, but you. You were the one thing he was never supposed to have. You were the one aspect of Doyoung’s life that Mark wouldn’t have the ability to work his way towards, but he did. He has you right now, in this moment, and he feels like nothing could break him. He knows it’s wrong just like you do, but Mark is selfish too. 
             He doesn’t think you meant to feel this way, because he always sees the good in people, and if you were doing this with any other man he would definitely snitch on you if he found out. But you’re doing it with him and he doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt at this moment that he wants to fuck his big brother’s girlfriend, and it appears she wants to fuck him too. 
             A small part of Mark’s brain is anxious though. That little still-sober sliver of his moral code trying to fight its way to the front. Does he go with his heart or with his brain? Should he stop? Will he be able to look you in the eye tomorrow? Will he be able to ever look his brother in the eye? He isn’t sure. Both his heart and his brain tells him to go for you, the only thing telling him not to is the thought of his brother. The good news about that is, with you on the other end of this line, Doyoung doesn’t exist to him any longer as he goes to speak.
 “You can have me, you know.” He almost whispers, staring down at his heavy cock resting against his belly, panties left dangling off the tip. “I wouldn’t say no.”
             Those were dangerous words. Words you know you shouldn’t accept or be turned on by. 
 “I bet you wouldn’t–” You cut yourself off in a deep breath, pressing against your clit and rubbing harshly. Mark isn’t even talking much, just offering himself on a fucking platter to you.
 “Oh, shit, are you?” Mark swallows hard, the reality that you might actually be touching yourself on the other line sending waves of heat down his body in waves. He thought it was just him and only had the hopes that you wouldn’t start making fun of him for it. 
 “Oh shit, oh fuck.” He says, quickly moving his hand to grip against his cock and already feeling too sensitive from the short moments of neglect. “Where are your hands?” He adds.
 “In my panties.”
             Mark groans, dropping his phone by his ear on the pillow and using his other hand to grip something, anything as he opts to imagine your fingers sliding beneath the panties you’d shown him in the photo.
             You can tell he’s holding his breath, focusing on feeling good in the way he releases short, quick groans every now and then. You keep yourself silent though, trying to hear him, trying to imagine what he’s doing while thinking of you. 
             The wetness between your legs is being spread by your fingers as you scissor your lips open easily, letting a small groan roll off your tongue for him to hear. Satisfied by his responsive deep breath and sigh, you finally plunge your fingers in. 
 “Can you hear it, Mark?” You ask, lowering the phone a bit so that he can hear your fingers slide in and out of you with a wet sound. 
             He chokes on his end at that, swiping the panties off of him to replace the feeling of fabric with the feeling of his closed fist. His precum smears beautifully, offering him the sensation that if he squeezes hard enough, he can imagine that he’s fucking into your warm and wet pussy. He can hear how wet you sound and it’s driving him up a fucking wall not being able to physically see you do it in front of him. 
 “This is all I'm going to think about tomorrow–” He groans out, tightening his fist even more and bucking his hips into it. “You sound so,”
 “Wet for you?”
             That’s all it takes before Mark is gasping out a string of curses, the orgasm both sending him into a sobering world of pleasure and an even drunker state of wanting you to himself. Strings of white spurting all along his belly and going as far as his chin, he throws his other hand up and bites hard against the skin on his knuckle as he works through it. He doesn’t want to moan, he wants to hear how fast your fingers are moving. He wants to think about how you must be imagining him right now, feeling good and breaking the rules for him. 
             Finally, after an embarrassingly long orgasm from Mark, his room goes silent and his ears tune in to the speaker on his phone. You’re cooing, letting out pretty little breaths between the smacking sounds of your palms coming into contact with your clit as you work yourself through it. He can’t believe you’re doing this with him, and even after his own orgasm he’s still incredibly aroused despite his cock softening. 
 “You still there?” You groan out. He can tell the phone is closer to what your hands are doing than it is to your face, but he doesn’t mind.
 “I’m still here–” He swallows hard, catching his breath as he practically studies the audio you’re feeding to him. 
 “I bet that felt good,” You compliment his orgasm that was glaringly obvious on your end. You imagine he doesn’t even recognize that his hand was audible against his cock, and the sheer speed you heard of what he was doing made your clenching walls ache with everything you shouldn’t be wanting.”Wish I could see you right now–” 
             Mark did contemplate face timing you instead, but that was crossing more of a line in his head than just calling you. Plus, he would have probably hidden himself from view the entire time. It’s not like he expected to actually have you fucking yourself on the other end of the line, but here you are, and here he is, cum all over him. 
             He snaps a quick photo for you, and in your head you whimper a small yes, because you can hear the shutter from his phone.
 “Send it,” You demand softly, pulling your phone from your stomach and holding it in front of your face. 
             He does as you ask and feels embarrassed by the pools of cum all over his stomach. The photo consists mostly of his chest down. You can see his plush and bitten lips at the top of the photo though, and his quite big softening cock lying spent against his stomach, smearing some of the cum across his belly. 
             Mark listens to your reaction and hum of approval when you look at the photo, a small blush fanning his cheeks out of pure adoration for you rather than lust at this moment. He listens intently, unsure of if you’re going to work yourself to orgasm or hang up on him before he gets the chance to hear it. 
             The point is, Mark is getting a part of you that only Doyoung should have, and he will be damned to pretend he doesn’t like it. 
 ~
             Waking up with an immense amount of guilt in your head, you almost bail at going to Doyoung’s house this weekend. You’ve already called out of work simply because you find yourself thinking of Mark more than you should, and the guilt only wavers from you feeling like a piece of shit, to almost being a thought that you can push aside. 
             Doyoung would kill Mark if he found out, and you, what would he even do with you? Break up with you? Insult you? The thought of him finding out is the only reason you feel guilty. Because you still don’t regret showing Mark, letting him hear you, or hearing and seeing him. In fact, you don’t intend to stop either. You want him too much at this point, and he seems to be in the same place as you when it comes to this situation. Mark wouldn’t tell on you because then he would be telling on himself. 
             After all, he only moved in with Doyoung so he could taste freedom outside of his parent’s house. The strict curfews, the password protected websites despite him being a fucking adult, the supervision of his own money and belongings. Doyoung knew the pain of living there, and that’s why he accepted Mark with open arms. 
             Doyoung was a good brother and an even better boyfriend. You and Mark on the other hand. Mark’s an awful brother and you’re an even worse girlfriend. He didn’t deserve any of this, and he doesn’t deserve any of what’s to come either. You’re in too deep with Mark now, and the glaring attraction is too strong to ignore. 
             Never in your life did you think you could find yourself being unfaithful, let alone with your own boyfriend’s sibling, yet here you are. Only guilty if you get caught. 
             Mark had texted you at least three thousand times with apologies. Admitting that his head hurt too much this morning to be realizing what the two of you did. He said he wouldn’t approach you when you come over, apologized again, and then promised to never tell Doyoung and to never hold it against you if you think he’s weird for doing all of that to you.
             Reading over his string of messages, you realize that Mark is blaming himself. He feels like he’s taking advantage of you and wanting you to feel secure and safe in something you did without a second thought. 
             On his end though, Mark is in his room staring at the two photos you sent to him the night before. Partially wondering if it was all just a dream at first, those pictures of you were the truth of how you felt towards him. And when you never text him back he doesn’t think too hard about why.
             When you still show up at that day, he doesn’t question that you’re not eye fucking him the second you walk in through the door either. 
             Mark was once again lounging on the couch when you walked in and Doyoung was nowhere in sight. He hadn’t texted you either. Awkwardly, Mark speaks up before you can question it.
 “He told me to let you know that he was gonna be late again. Said something about knowing you’d spam him with needy text messages while he’s in a last-minute work meeting.”
             You look to the floor for a second, wondering if the real reason Doyoung didn’t text you personally like he always did is because he found out somehow. 
“Oh,” You sigh, slipping off your shoes and feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. 
 “He doesn’t know, don’t worry–” Mark assures you as he stands to his feet and heads towards his room. “Sorry about last night, I won't do that again.”
 ~
             You’ve been slouched against Doyoung’s couch for at least an hour by now and your mind is still doing a back and forth between taking advantage of this alone time with Mark, or worrying about how you shouldn’t be left alone with him at all.
             The glaringly obvious issue in your head right now is the fact that you’re alone with Mark and you’re not upset about it. Mark assured you that Doyoung didn’t find out, and the fact that Mark is the best source of finding out exactly what Doyoung knows is more of a comfort than anything to you right now. 
             Thinking back to the night before, you remember releasing your orgasm on the phone and hearing him compliment you through it. You have the photo of him saved within your gallery, hidden from your too-trusting boyfriend’s eyes. It was the first time you’ve ever seen Mark’s lower half bare. He really was huge. 
             It’s not even shocking to you at this point that you can feel guilty and anxious one moment and immediately switch into some sex-starved beast at the very thought of Mark. 
 “maybe ill take care of it for you someday, who knows?” The text message you sent to him spreads across your thoughts, knowing full well that you’re probably going to get intimate with Doyoung later, the least you can do is let Mark have some first if he wants it, right? 
 You cautiously stand to your feet with a deep breath. The fact that you allow yourself to continuously dig the hole deeper for you to never be able to pull yourself out from inside. Maybe it's just what Mark does to your thoughts? The images of him are too good to be able to ignore, the guilt not nearly enough to make you stop wanting him. 
 Doyoung isn’t in your mind when you reach into your bag and grab the soiled panties you had soaked completely the night before, and Doyoung barely exists at all in your thoughts when you make your way down the hall and lean against Mark’s closed door. 
 “I wouldn’t say no.” was what Mark had messaged you before, guess now is the time to find out. 
 Opening his door without so much as a knock, Mark doesn't appear to notice you at all as his back stays turned and he focuses on the screen in front of him. The large headset is sitting comfortably on his ears and you’re sure that the volume is up far too loud to be healthy. You can hear his friend’s yelling directions, where enemies are hiding and where they’re headed next. 
 You smirk for a moment, noting how much of a typical college boy Mark is. Messy room, messy hair, messy relationship with his brother’s girlfriend. You can imagine he feels pride in what he was able to do with you, and that’s not even an ego boost on your end. You wonder if he’s told his friends anything at all. Not about who he likes or who he’s been getting intimate with even if not too-directly, but like, that he’s been getting fed sexual fantasies by someone in general. You wonder if he talks you up, then again, what if he hasn’t mentioned it at all.
 “Where were you last night anyway?” You hear over the too-loud headset as you come up behind Mark with the panties in your hand. 
 “Busy getting laid, unlike you losers.” Mark boasts, but you snicker at how he’s both lying and telling the truth.
 “Bullshit–” You hear another insult coming through his headset before you finally are right behind him. 
             Part of you wants to prove him right so his friend’s think he’s cool or something, but then again, what if they recognize your voice? Surely these are his friends from back home, some two to three hours from this city. Surely they don’t know you, right?
 “No, really.” You lean down against Mark’s headset and speak in a tone that isn’t too common for you,  and he freezes. 
 “No fucking way,” A deeper voice sounds through his headset and you can’t help but feel happy for him in the way they, for some reason, can’t believe Mark’s got some girl in this city interested in him. 
             When Mark tries to turn his body to look at you, you hold the chair in place. Knowing yourself how headsets work, you lift his mic until it clicks, hoping to god the mute function works like it’s supposed to and start talking.
 “Don’t move, keep playing if you want.” You say, dangling the panties over his head and lowering them in front of his face.
             More arousing than gross, you watch Mark’s face fall forward against them. Part of him can’t believe you’re really doing this right now despite leaving his messages on read. But you are, and these are the panties that he thought about all last night and most of today. He really meant it when he said that would be the only thing he would be thinking about, and here you are, keeping the promise of giving them to him.
             Reaching up and clutching the panties, Mark tries to turn towards you again. 
“Stay,” You say. “And don’t be loud.” You lower his mic into place where he is no longer muted and listen as his friends go from talking shit to starting up another game. 
             From behind his chair, you’re a little shocked at how good he is at following what you say. He doesn’t move, but you can hear his breathing and the way he struggles to balance it in order to remain some-what normal sounding to his friends when they address him. His fingers are shaking against his keyboard as the game starts, and you think he’s probably thought about this happening to him hundreds of times before. 
             Gamer boys always want this kind of thing. Some girl prodding and tugging at them, sucking them off under the table as they boast to their friends how they can be getting head and still getting gold damage by the time the match is over. 
             All you can think about right now is being the person to fulfill his fantasies. More turned on by the idea that Mark must want it so badly from you. When you reach around him, lying your hand against his lap, he’s already incredibly hard and stares down at it as the countdown screen on his game begins. 
             From out of sight, you don’t want Mark to see you. You want to see how badly he does through this, because it’s not only cute but actually fucking hilarious. It’s the first time you’re moving on him rather than him grinding against whatever you have to offer.
             Ignoring the call outs of enemies in game through his head set, both of you spiral into a world of your own again when you grab his length from over his sweatpants and just–you just hold him for a moment. The weight of it grows much heavier as he somehow manages to get insanely hard at the fact that you’re in the room with him and your incredibly used panties are sitting right there too.
 “Jesus–” Mark groans when you grab him, but his friends seem to pay no mind to it. Gamer talk and all. 
 “Jesus is right, you haven’t moved from that fucking building you cuck-” Some guy shouts from his head set.
 “Shut the fuck up Haechan, you’re literally in bronze,” Another man shouts.
             Mark is silent save for a sharp inhale when you squeeze your palm around him. He knows if he even tries to talk shit right now that all of his friends would just fucking know how desperate and embarrassing he is around you. That’s the last thing he needs.
             Finally, after a few moments of palming him through his pants, you dip right in. He doesn’t shy away from it either, spreading his legs from under his desk and lifting his ass up slightly so you can pull the pants down to release his length. 
             Even bigger than the photos, thicker than you genuinely imagined now that you see it from over his shoulder. Mark tries to turn his head this time to look at you, but you’re quick to catch his cheek and turn it back to the screen. 
             Gripping him again, Mark sighs into his mic and his friend’s screaming goes silent. You’re quick to lift his mic into the muted position just to offer some sort of escape from embarrassment now seeing that he’s incredibly willing to let you do this while his ego is on the line.
 “You want them to hear?” You ask, feeling his hips slightly buck into your grip. That sends shivers down your spine, finally feeling it for the first time.
 “I don’t care–” He sighs again, thrusting his hips up harder. “Just touch me,”
             The way he says it, for some reason, sounds so fucking broken that you could honestly swirl this chair around and impale yourself on him without so much as a second thought. But you contain yourself, now moving your grip up his length and thumbing over the head to feel the little beads of pre-cum. 
 “Alright, sweetheart,” You compliment, lowering his mic for the last time and wondering just how much he’s going to let his shithead friends hear.
             For a few moments, you gently jerk him off just to see his hips chase your fist. He’s needy in the way he moves his body but very fucking good at acting as you start to count each kill he manages to get through this. 
             By the time you hear his friends praise him, you feel a little competitive yourself. Shy, needy, desperate little Mark thinks he can get through a game the very first time you actually touch him? Perhaps he thinks he is giving you what you want, but what you want is to see him fall apart. 
             You move your hand faster, watching him from behind as he chokes up and slams his head against the headrest of his chair, nearly knocking the headphones off of him. 
 “Fuck,” Mark moans, knowing full well that his friends wouldn’t suspect anything if he says such a thing. 
             You know that was for you though, so you continue. The rhythm of your hand moving from a slow drag to something painfully fast and unfathomably good. Mark’s head is spinning, thrusting his hips up and gripping his computer mouse so tightly that he thinks he could crush it in his grip. 
             When his pre-cum is offering more lubricant for an easy slide up and down, your pace remains fast and you can squeeze harder. 
             Mark can’t hold himself back anymore, slamming his head against the headrest of his seat yet again, this time his headset sliding off of his head and falling into the floor. He lols his head from side to side as he finally lets out a moan, shooting a hand to your wrist and holding it in place so that he can fuck up into it. 
             You gasp at that, his grip harsh and far less gentle than you’d expect. The muffled screams of his friends are blatantly obvious and you can’t bring yourself to care if the mic muted itself during its descent to the floor or not. 
             He’s choking back little groans, releasing your wrist and staring down, then grabbing it again before fucking up harder. You can tell he has no idea what to do, what he should do, or what he’s going to do and it’s so fucking endearing. 
             He tries to turn to see you again, but you do your best to remain behind him as you grab the base of his cock and cause him to groan in pain.
 “Let me see you,” He nearly sobs in a frustrated way, and for a moment you contemplate letting him. 
 “Let me hear you.” You respond, keeping that same, painfully tight, grip against him and dragging it up to his head, enveloping it and sending sensitive shocks throughout his body. 
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Mark wiggles under the painful grasp, but his hips still chase when you drag your hand back down. He’s no longer being quiet, no longer pretending to care about his dead character on the screen, re-spawning and dying every few seconds. He’s a free kill for any enemy player right now and you can tell his friend’s are pissed in the way the screaming from the headset gets louder despite the distance. The chat box on screen is being spammed just as aggressively, and Mark can barely even open his eyes to process it. 
 “You were playing so well,” You coo out, shifting forward a bit and placing your chin on his shoulder. “What happened, Markie?” 
             He softly moans at the nickname, eyes half open as he glances down at how fast your hand is moving compared to your soft, balanced voice against his ear. He turns his head quickly, trying to catch you off guard, but you pull away.
 “So needy to see me,” You chuckle, working him up and knowing that he’s got to be close with the way she shamelessly moans in the most annoyed, frustrated way. 
 “Let me kiss you.” He grunts, bucking his hips aggressively, now chasing in full that painful grip you’re keeping against him so well. “I’ll keep my eyes closed, please,”
             You contemplate again giving him what he wants, but you figure he’s already getting more than enough. 
 “Oh? You’ll keep your eyes closed? Don’t you want to look at me?” 
             Mark is desperate now, hands moving to the armrests of his chair as he grips them hard, hips wildly stuttering in your grasp. 
 “Fuck, yes.” He lets out, dropping his head with a deep breath and then throwing his head back with an even longer moan. 
             You can’t tell if that was him answering you, or simply reacting to what his body is feeling, and you don’t really care. He’s already there, walking on the thin line of orgasm and willing to take whatever it is you give him. He no longer wants anything, he’s just experiencing. 
             You watch him from behind very closely, the shiver running from his toes straight to his ears was obvious enough.
 “That’s it,” You whisper from behind. “I know you want to.”
             Mark’s entire body tenses against the chair, you can feel it stress from the way his legs spread wider and his hips go from quick thrusts to short, drawn out drags against your palm. The image of him doing that between your legs washes over every single one of your thoughts. He would do that, burying himself so deeply as he spills out inside of you, thrusting in and slowly dragging his hips out, just to thrust in again to push his seed impossibly deeper.
 “That’s so hot,” Mark comments with a deep breath, and only then do you realize the small moan you’d let out during that intense thought of him. His come is spilling out in loads and all you can do is watch him get through it. 
             Finally, after making a mess of him, you smile to yourself. A job well done. 
             You opt to make a grand exit, saying nothing after releasing his cock and sauntering out of the room in silence to leave him to his thoughts. You could still hear his friends screaming through the microphone, and he doesn’t even call out after you. Mark must feel on top of the world right now, because you know that you do.
 ~
             Doyoung came home later than last time, tired and droopy. He found himself drawn to you more than usual, noting that your eyes were sparkling a little brighter upon walking through his door. 
             You put Mark in the back of your head much like you always tried to do when Doyoung was around you these days. Your love for your boyfriend is still blatant and honest when you’re next to him, not at all feeling pity for Mark having to see it. Mark should know who it is you love, despite the fact that you jerked him off a mere few hours ago.
             When Doyoung is next to you, when his arm is around you and his eyes are on you, you don’t question for a second that everything you’ve been doing behind his back will come back on you, and it’ll be well deserved pain. But there’s still a part of you that hopes you can keep Doyoung forever and always be happy beside him. You’re actively betraying him, his own flesh and blood is helping you dig this hole deeper and deeper. So deep that Doyoung can’t even see the bottom where Mark’s got his hands on you. 
             Fully intending to keep them both, you find yourself feeling more fulfilled despite the awful moral. Doyoung isn’t willing to share, but Mark is. And you, you don’t have to share.
 ~
             Saturday was as normal as always. Mark pops in and out of his room, not even once acting as if something suspicious is going on. If anything, Doyoung is a little more happy to see you spend time with Mark when he’s not in his room. It was awkward at first. Mark’s always been shy but it seems like he’s loosened up after realizing you’re a permanent part of the picture for as long as you’re with Doyoung. He’s endeared by the way you bully his brother the same way he does. 
             Even that little crush Mark had on you when he first met you appears to have fallen into more of a sibling-like relationship to Doyoung. He thought it was cute that Mark had a crush, after all, it’s you. Doyoung fucking fell head over heels when you gave him attention and wouldn’t be caught dead releasing his grip on you once he asked you to be his girlfriend. The point is, Doyoung knew Mark had a small crush but was pleased to see it turn into something more casual and comfortable. He likes his life, loves his girlfriend, and loves his brother. Nothing could get better than spending time with the two of you, even if Mark jumps up to go be a recluse in his room from time to time.
 ~
 “Mark,” Haechan grits through the mic. 
 “What?” Mark responds, throwing his arms behind his head as he smiles to himself through the webcam.
 “You should be embarrassed.” Haechan argues. “We didn’t wanna hear that shit.”
 “I muted him.” Jeno says with a shrug through his webcam. 
 “Yeah, me too.” Jaemin follows up, all eyes now falling to Haechan with a red face.
 “I was in a tight situation! I couldn’t tab out!” Haechan defends himself easily, still a darker shade than usual.
 “I think she wanted you guys to hear,” Mark laughs quietly, whispering. 
 “Why are you whispering?” Jeno asks, leaning forward towards his camera as if Mark was about to whisper out again, this time with a deeper secret. 
             Instead, Mark shifts his eyes and changes the subject. As much as he would love to tell his friends that he’s managed to get a handjob (not the foot thing) from his brother’s girlfriend, he’s sure they’d have a little more respect for him. But it feels like a betrayal to say it out loud, regardless of how hot the idea is in his head.
 “Because my brother is with his girlfriend and it’s weird if they know what happens when they’re not here.” Mark deadpans out to his friends, who nod their heads in agreement. 
 “She left her panties,” Mark goes to say, removing his hands from behind his head and sitting up from his relaxed position. “Wanna see?”
             Haechan was, obviously, the first to nod his head and Mark didn’t really need the others to agree anyway, because they’re a group of college guys who are always either talking about getting laid or how to raise their rank when playing competitive games.
 “Damn,” Jeno laughs as he sees the thin fabric come into view. “Are they dirty?” 
 “Oh yeah,” Mark boasts, spreading out the fabric and bringing them close to the camera. 
 “Y’all are gross.” Haechan waves them off, averting his eyes and trying to pretend he’s not interested.
 “Mark’s full of shit, he probably bought those and was being weird with them. That’s definitely his load we’re looking at, guys.” Jeno cuts in. 
 “You heard her talk to him through the mic, there’s no way he’s lying.” Haechan, for some reason, argues for Mark.
 “Uh, no I didn’t. I had him muted the second I saw his hero standing in the middle of the map without moving.” Jeno argues back.
“I lied, I didn’t mute him.” Jaemin finally admits. 
             Mark can’t stop smiling. The fact that he can barely believe what happened himself is enough not to argue. They’re your panties, that’s your scent in them, and that was your hand wrapped around him yesterday. 
 ~
             Waking up on Sunday felt, again, normal. You hadn’t heard Mark through the walls the night before but Doyoung sure did. He mostly drowned out the sounds by putting in his headphones though, unlike what you would have done. Doyoung did, however, wake up hard considering the two of you passed out the night before without so much as a lingering hand.
             To his dismay, you groan at his roaming hands as he wakes you up. Doyoung knew you loved being woken up this way, but he knew to stop if you made a sound like that.
 “What’s wrong?” He says, pulling his hand back and instead, placing it in your waist so that way he can pull you closer.
             You don’t respond, cracking an eye open and immediately feeling your head pound at the sunlight shining through the windows. You feel bad that since thursday, the only intimacy you’ve had has been with Mark despite being in love with the man against you. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that you immediately, physically, feel like shit this morning, you’d be jumping Doyoung’s bones. 
 “Head is pounding.” 
 “Ah,” Doyoung smiles, hugging you against him and rubbing circles against your skin with his thumb. “It’s okay, you can sleep in. I’m gonna go make some breakfast.”
             Your boyfriend’s good mood doesn’t go unnoticed, nor does your headache. You take him up on that offer and immediately fall back to sleep.
             Later, you wake to Doyoung gently patting your cheek. 
 “You want some food? Might help?” 
             You nod, squinting your eyes and sitting up a little too quickly. You glance around as he turns away and heads back towards the kitchen, and then you stretch your arms out. Things feel too fucking normal for you to be doing what you’ve been doing. This headache is well fucking deserved, surely. 
             Making your way into the kitchen, you note that Mark’s bedroom door was open and he wasn’t in there. He also wasn’t in the kitchen or living room. 
“Where’s Mark?” You ask casually, sitting down at the table and rubbing your temples.
 “Said something about one of his friends coming to a city nearby and wanting to go hang out with him. Probably Haechan.” 
             Your heart starts beating in your ears at the thought that you really thought Doyoung wouldn’t know any of Mark’s friends? Sure, you thought that maybe they were just online friends, or maybe people Mark met after Doyoung moved out of his parent’s house, but you recognize that fucking name. Thankfully, you had changed your voice just slightly as you spoke to Mark the other day. Surely this isn’t what would ruin the entire arrangement.
 “Ah,” You groan. “Finally we have the house to ourselves and I have to wake up with a migraine?” 
 “It’s okay, really.” Doyoung smiles, sitting a plate of food down in front of you. “Besides, we both know you like the thrill of needing to be quiet.” 
             He’s joking, you know he is, but it was the truth before this whole thing with Mark started. 
 “If we really wanted to be alone, I'd be at your apartment every weekend.”Your boyfriend adds, planting a kiss to the top of your head and heading towards the medicine cabinet. “Little weird that it has to be my brother that we are keeping quiet from, but whatever.”
 “Didn’t know i’d be this into it, honestly.” You admit, feeling open enough to at least tell him that you’re very into the idea of someone hearing you. You just won't admit that you want it to be Mark.
 “I mean, I personally am not into this type of thing. It’s a little uncomfortable for me.” Doyoung sits down and hands you two painkillers. “But I doubt he’s actually listening. I apologized after the first time and he said he usually just puts in headphones and goes to sleep.”
             You hold back the smile of Mark’s blatant lies towards Doyoung. 
 “So I guess I don’t entirely mind feeding into your little fantasies of being heard, or caught, or whatever.”
             Your boyfriend waves off the conversation with a smile, ultimately willing the fact that it is weird to him out of his head. If that was a new thing you realized you liked, the only way you would have found out is by having someone else in the house when the two of you do those things. Unfortunately, it was Mark. In Doyoung’s head, he was mature enough to discuss it like an adult with his brother. Guidelines and rules, moving Mark in wasn’t going to change his sex life with you, if anything, he had already told Mark to invest in some decent headphones or earplugs because he’s gonna hear some shit. 
             You allow the conversation to die as you work up an appetite. Thankfully Doyoung was an amazing cook, though he only did it one or two nights a week considering how spent his job makes him feel. You’re thankful he cooked this morning, and even more thankful for these two little pills that will hopefully knock your headache out within the hour.
 ~
             Come Monday, you’re thankful you get to work from home. You sleep in and try your best not to think about the fact that Doyoung knows the friends that heard you be intimate with Mark. You’re even more thankful for this week away from your boyfriend’s house because, even though you’ve processed everything, you feel like you should probably be alone for a while and really think about what you’re doing.
             When Mark is around or texting you, it’s hard to think straight because you genuinely want him so fucking bad. And when Doyoung is beside you, or texting you, all you can do is imagine a future with him.
             The once bright, clear future of Doyoung in a tuxedo standing in front of you at some extravagant altar becomes a little more foggy at the thought of where Mark would fit into it. Would he be behind Doyoung, watching him marry you to start a real life together? Would he be somewhere in the crowd, waiting to object and expose you for the awful girlfriend you are? Or even worse, would he not be there at all? Running away and disappearing never to insert himself into your life or his brother’s life ever again?
             You don’t want to think about the future right now. Everything you’ve been doing has been so selfish and so fucking fulfilling that you can’t bring yourself to feel any amount of pity for Doyoung and the way he trusts you fully. You never once gave him a reason to not trust you, and you think maybe Mark hasn’t given him a reason. 
             But god, he shouldn’t trust either of you at all. He’s at work, making money, living his life with a supposed loving girlfriend all while offering his little brother an ounce of freedom. What does he get in response to his hard work and kindness? His brother wanting to tongue fuck his girlfriend? And worse yet, his girlfriend wants it even more than his brother does? 
             Your mind is burning through scenarios all day if you have it in you to feel bad. Another scenario involves you, married to Doyoung and sneaking Mark out of your bed when Doyoung returns from work. Even more scenarios of Doyoung finding out and hating you forever, leaving you and meeting someone better. How could you have them both and keep it going? Is something like that even possible?
             Then you get a text.The glaring reality blows right past your head when you’re expecting it to be Mark but you see Doyoung’s name on the screen. You still feel just as excited though. 
 Doie: good news and great news
You: oh? :o 
Doie: Good news: co worker has family issues and had to drop out of the business trip coming up.
             You were about to question why that’s good news, but then Doyoung quickly texts again.
 Doie: great news: i am now being asked to attend the event and it could get me a pretty big promotion. 
You: You’re gonna go right?? When is it?
 Honestly, the way your heart swells at your boyfriend moving up in the world could knock anyone on their feet. No one would ever guess what you do behind his back, because again, you haven’t lost an ounce of love for this man and you probably never will.
 Doie: I leave tomorrow if I accept.
You: how long is it? do you need help packing since it’s such short notice?
Doie: only three days, so i’d be back on friday and still get to see you this weekend
You: it’s a win/win! i can come over tonight since i’m working from home today.
Doie: you good to sleep over and drop me off in the morning at the airport? i can give them an answer now so they can work out the transport and get the tickets transferred to me. 
You: you didn’t need to even ask me first!! you should have immediately said yes! I’ll be over tonight, i’m proud of you
Doie: love you babe :) 
             And so there it is. The glaring issue about to become a blatant, full blown affair. And like, you don’t want to get it twisted. You are so fucking proud of Doyoung and so fucking glad that everything in his life appears to be rushing him straight to major success, but also, he’s going to be gone for three days and that’s three days to try and get over this whole Mark phase(which is unlikely). By using Mark. By fucking him, specifically.
             It doesn’t help that just a few moments later, presumably after Doyoung lets Mark know the plan, Mark is texting you.
 Mark: Doyoung’s leaving for 3 days
You: yep :) 
Mark: ….do i even need to say it
You: nope
Mark: gonna clean my room
 ~
             Dropping Doyoung off was weirdly bitter sweet. His confidence was through the roof as he kissed you goodbye. He even  asked for a second kiss for good luck after rushing back to you a few seconds later. You knew he’d do amazing for this event, even with it so last minute. Everything Doyoung did was with effort and thought put into it. 
             That was the sweet part anyway. The bitter part is the guilt finally coming to you like it should have weeks ago. The fact that Doyoung is walking off to get on an airplane and Mark is at home cleaning his room to fuck you in it. It’s obvious that you don’t deserve either of them. 
             Still, the guilt hitting you now is unnerving. It took so long to come, and only consumes you when Doyoung isn’t around to nearly witness the infidelity? Shaking yourself of disgust, you head out of the airport and still find yourself pulling into Doyoung’s driveway.
             You sit in your car for a moment. Thinking back on all of those small moments with Mark, wondering now if you still want him or if those moments were enough to satisfy the curiosity of your boyfriend’s brother. Even through the guilt, you still want him. 
             Stepping out of your car and walking up to the door felt too unfamiliar and nerve wracking, hearing your heart skip beats and your body melt away into the hole you fucking dug for yourself. However, the moment Mark opens the door and looks at you, before you could even unlock it yourself, every single guilt ridden thought disappears. 
             You don’t know what it is about him, and surely you’ve never felt this way before, because goddamn is it a blinding kind of feeling. Thinking back as you look at him, he seems different now despite having the same face and body language. Before, Mark was cute with his little crush. Weird even, with the way he lingered for too long to see you kiss his brother. Now, when you look at him, he looks like he isn’t at all the cute, shy little brother. He’s Mark, a man with wants and needs that have your name written all over them. You can’t fucking help yourself, and now being able to indulge yourself fully along side him, Doyoung is drowned out in the back of your mind.
             Mark is still shy and timid in the way he moves but he knows just as well as you do what’s about to happen and isn’t at all shying away from the fact that he’s about to fulfill every dirty little thought he’s had about you since he met you. Hell, since he saw photos of you that Doyoung sent before he ever met you.
             On cloud nine, Mark is timid when he, for the first time, makes a move on you. It’s shocking that he did it at all, if you’re being honest, but you lean into him. All he does is grab your hand, a touch that wouldn’t raise suspicions at all in Doyoung if he were to see it, but to you it’s the most intimate thing he could do at this moment. Because he’s leading you, and his eyes are hungry and unable to pull from you. 
             Not a single fucking word is said, everything already spoken and understood with nothing more than the look when he opened that fucking door. Mark leads you to his room, and the energy in the air is so electrifying it scares you. Never has a touch to your hand, or a leading pull to a bedroom made you feel so weightless. You think back to when you held his length in your hand, you had all of the power that day. Now, you don’t think Mark realizes what he could get away with. You’re falling into the same mindset you have with Doyoung, one where you want, need, and could beg to be touched, but you still yourself from falling too far into it. 
             Mark is even more gentle when he lets your hand go and turns towards you with a deep sigh, as if he’s preparing his entire being for what’s coming. Both of you like a deer in headlights, as if this wasn’t intentional or planned, you smile at him. 
             Mark lets out a nervous laugh at your smile, shaking his head and looking down. He’s already stiff beneath his pants, which are conveniently unbuttoned and unzipped. Even you, shamelessly wearing a dress with no panties. Doyoung thought it was for him, and he damn well did fuck you this morning while on a confident-high before you took him to the airport.
             You knew Mark could hear it, and he didn’t appear to care. Because in all fairness, Mark did not give a fuck. Because he knew you weren’t his at that moment, but you fucking would be before the night is up. The next three days, you’re his. Even if he never has you again.
             That deer-in-the-headlights look from Mark fades as his eyes take you in without hiding it for the first time. You imagine he will fall apart if he were to trace his hands under your dress and find that you are completely bare, you imagine you would fall apart much faster if he touched you at all.
             It happens so fast. Too fast, almost with the way he steps up to you confidently. You just now realize that he’s taller than you when he skews his head and looks down at your lips. His breathing is uneven and you can tell he’s doing his best to be confident because you haven’t made a move towards him at all like you usually would. 
             Looking up at him, you want to reach up and grip his hair. His lips are so plush, clearly freshly coated with chapstick. His skin is practically glowing save for the few blemishes that the fringe on his forehead covers, you find yourself wondering if he’s taking this moment to study you too.
 “I’m having a really hard time holding back,” Mark whispers out, inches from your face. 
 “Then don’t.” You encourage him without doubt, hoping that he can break past that last little boundary the two of you haven’t crossed yet. The one where he can kiss you, touch you, have you. Only because you can’t bring yourself to do it at this moment, for some reason.
             The feeling of his lips touching yours was more bruising than you think he intended them to be, but the desperate feeling was all the same as your own, you think. Never had you actually stopped to think of kissing him or how he would go about it. Like running in blind, you’re learning that Mark knows what to do with his tongue, how to pace himself despite not wanting to, and how to reach up and hold your fucking face in a dreamy way. 
             His hands are cupping your face, kissing you like you’re his girlfriend. He still moves his lips in a hungry and desperate way though, in a way that has you struggling to breathe by the force of it alone. 
             When his hands drop from your face and fall to your waist. Every new place he touches feels like it’s set ablaze. You press forward against his chest, walking him back as you continue to kiss, all the way until he falls back on his bed with an ‘oof’ sound. 
             Still, his face is slack as he stares up at you now, eyes struggling to stay trained on your face for too long as you begin to take off your jacket and reach over to pull at his shirt. 
             So badly you want to see him shirtless again, but he doesn’t argue, eagerly lifting it off of his body and lying back again. 
             Now that the initial intimacy has been established, you finally feel you coming back to yourself, thinking more clearly and finding a small list in your head of things you want and need to do for him. Starting with letting him really look at you.
 “I know how much you like my panties, but–” You smile, standing in front of him and trying to keep your eyes averted from his length threatening to break through his pants. 
 “Let me see,” Mark urges you, tilting his head with a swallow and training his eyes on your thighs. 
             He thinks you must be wearing the prettiest pair today, for him, not for his brother. But when you lift your leg and straddle him, his face contorts to confusion and then to pleasure when you sit against his cock. Of course, with the fabric covering his length, he still can’t tell that you’re not actually wearing any panties at all.
 “You wanna see?” You ask for his clarification, bunching your dress up in your hands and preparing to lift it so he can see your bare folds sitting against him. 
             Mark blinks at you, nodding his head and nibbling on his bottom lip. He’s doing everything in his power not to reach up and grab your waist just to guide you on him. He’s afraid to move too fast, he’s afraid to embarrass himself with how fucking desperate he is for you right now.
 “Look,” You say, nodding between your legs and lifting your dress.
 “Goddamn,” Mark gasps as his eyes focus on the fact that you’re leaving a small wet spot against his pants. That’s your pussy on him. 
            Without a second thought his hands are on your waist, pushing and pulling you forward and backwards against his length. You blink hard at the sensation of the fabric rubbing against your lips harshly, and then open your eyes to look at him again.
             He is still staring between your legs, almost losing himself to this alone. Then again, it’s the first time he’s ever seen you bare and he cannot get past the fact that Doyoung gets to see it whenever he fucking wants. 
 “I can feel it–” Mark chokes, referring to your wetness seeping through his pants and onto him. 
             You smile at him, now moving your hips on your own as you pull his hands away and push them to lay above his head. If he thinks this is good, you want to see how fast he reaches for you again.
             It’s so easy when you lift yourself up, and incredibly cute in the way his eyes follow your core when you lift. He doesn’t even realize that you shove his sweats down and sit right back down, this time coating him in full with your slippery juices. 
 “God, fuck,” He moans in disbelief, and just as expected his hands shoot to your waist and hold you down against him. You’re not sure if it’s intentional or not, but he’s incredibly sexy in the way he moves without thinking. 
 “Fuck?” You question cutely, forcing your hips to slide up his length despite him trying to hold you there. 
 “How are you always so wet?” He questions in a whimper, letting you move and instead grabbing the hem of your dress himself and holding it up so he can watch you slide against him. 
 “How are you so big?” You try to compliment, feeling him between your folds and wondering just how deep he could fuck you if he so wanted to. “So, so big.” You groan out this time, feeling the head of his cock bumping against your clit every few seconds.
             Mark obviously doesn’t answer, his fingers are gripping your dress so tightly and his eyes are burning the image of you doing this into his head. He never wants to forget this moment of feeling you against him for probably the first and last time, because in all realness, this can’t happen again if he thinks too hard about it. 
 “I want to fuck you so bad,” He admits. “Just this once, please.” 
             You nod cutely, swiping his hands away from your dress and lifting it off of you in full.       His eyes are now glued to your tits and whatever it was he was saying is long forgotten as he watches them move when you slide up against him again.
             The way he shuts up is entirely too arousing. You can see him thinking about you, practically able to see him process every part of your body on top of him. 
 “Take your pants off, quickly.” You finally say, frustrated when you slide back and off of him. 
             He does as he’s told when you stand to your feet in wait, and instantly he’s lifting himself and grabbing you, pulling you right back on him. 
 “You’re so fucking hot,” Mark whines, pushing your hips against him and keeping himself upright, careful not to fall back against the mattress so he can plant his lips against your neck. 
             You feel a bite and pull back from him, hips stilling.
“You can’t leave any bruises–” You scold him, and he simply nods and goes back to kissing against your neck and shoulder.
 “Right, wouldn’t want him knowing that I fuck you better, right?” Mark mocks the situation as a whole, using reality as a form of ego boost, hoping to god that you lean into it rather than run from it.
 It makes you a little angry, but you get it. Mark’s confidence must be through the roof because never would you have imagined him speaking to you like this, or mentioning his brother at all.
 “Prove it and maybe i’ll play along.” You try to challenge him, but you know that he might actually be right. His size is definitely bigger than Doyoung’s, but can he work it the same way, or better? Can the shy, timid little brother actually satisfy you the way your boyfriend does?
 Mark pulls back from kissing your neck only for a moment, moving to your lips and wincing at the feeling of your folds sliding against him still, maybe he did get a little too cocky there. 
 “Prove it?” He breathes against your lips, gripping your waist tighter and guiding you up. 
 You already know what he’s doing and don’t shy away from it. Usually there’s foreplay, and you’re sure he wanted to do more than just fuck you, but too little too late. You’re hungry for it and so is he, if the sounds between you are enough to go by. 
 Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lift yourself and allow his hand to disappear between the two of you. You can feel him position himself right at your entrance and all you need to do is sink down. You don’t yet though and instead look at him.
 He stares back at you with anticipation, and when you sink down just a tiny bit, he’s lunging his lips forward and kissing you again. Continuously as you sink down inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out in a searing type of pleasure, Mark just groans into your mouth. You can feel his chest heave against you as he feels your walls start to envelop him and when you’re finally seated, he pulls you down with him as he falls against the mattress.
 There, in a hug, his mindless kissing becomes even more vacant as he holds you in place, fucking his hips up and into you in an aggressive pace. His lips release from yours and his moans come out strangled, breathless, and entirely desperate for you.
 He’s deeper inside of you than any man has ever been able to reach without the aid of a toy, and the head and thickness of it is far better than any plastic could ever be. You imagine you sound just as desperate as he does right now. Unable to wiggle in his grasp, you just take it. You were well versed in that, at least.
 Mark holds you there for at least a full moment, feeling you clenching and drenching his cock in a way that makes the slide easy and pleasurable for him. His hips can move much faster this way, but the fear of coming too quickly forces him to slow his movements and open his eyes.
 Your legs are spred out over his own, his cock is buried into you completely, and you fucking just take it? God, No wonder Doyoung is in love with you. 
 Mark’s arms release you from the hug and he uses one hand to lift your face.
 “Sorry,” He says before getting a look at your face, but he ends up losing any thought in his head when he notes how blown your pupils are, face still contorted in a silent moan as you bounce yourself against him now.  
             What he was gonna say was that he was sorry he lost control for a second, but what he ends up saying now is “Oh my god, I want this so bad.” 
             Despite that Mark is getting everything he wants at this moment, all he can do is look at you and watch you grind your clit against his pelvic bone chasing a pleasure that he knows you’re feeling intensely right now. He thinks of himself in pity, all those nights of wanting exactly this and never knowing that he actually fucking gets to do it.
             Without thinking, Mark doesn’t even know why he does it, but he keeps his cock buried deeply into you and knocks you over. He follows your body, adjusting himself behind you and pulling your leg up and draping it over his hip. There, he slips out of you only slightly to hear you whine at the loss. You’ve gone so silent save for moaning and he thinks he’s in love with you. Stuffing you again, he smiles at the way you throw your head back and look at him from behind you. 
             One hand now reaches around you and cradles one of your tits, the other snaking between your legs and experimentally tapping against your clit. 
 “Damn, Mark,” You manage to say in a more stable voice, realizing that he’s really fucking you in the spooning position now? Of course he fucking would. It’s such an intimate position, and the angle, you could argue, is one of the best you think you’ve ever felt. 
 “Hm?” He hums against your shoulder, feeling your body jerk as he fucks his length into you repeatedly. “Feels good, right?” He asks, moaning himself this time at the way you close your legs around his hand and grind back against him.
             He’s quick to abandon your clit to push your legs open again, draping it right back in the same spot over his own legs. He can imagine how spread out you look, despite not being able to see it in this position. He’s heard time and time that women like this angle, and now’s the chance to test it.
             This time, when you reach back and pull his face to yours, now kissing him with more force than you had before, he imagines the rumors were true. His fingers find their way back to your clit. 
             Mark’s moving his hips with intent now, trying his best to control how good he feels so that way he can focus on yours, and after one particularly deep thrust, he notices that you jolt and shiver.
 “Oh my god, did I find it?” He asks, experimentally pressing his hips up the same way. 
 “Fuck-” You choke out, your body jolting without intent again and feeling shockwaves of what you can only describe as mini orgasms shooting throughout your muscles. “Right there, keep doing that,” You frantically encourage him, mouth falling slack against his lips. 
             He does, pressing his hips harder this time in the same pay. Repeatedly hitting the soft spot inside of you and ultimately sending you into a world of something you’ve, strangely, never felt before in terms of sex. 
             Mark watches you roll your head back, moaning out with a slack and somewhat pained face as he does it. He cannot fucking believe he found your g-spot on the first try and he will be damned to stop now. 
             He focuses now, grunting at the way your walls clench him so tightly each time he hits your spot with the head of his cock. He’s determined to make you come, make you babble out strings of his name and how good he feels. He needs you to feel so good that you’ll never think twice of letting him do this again, and again, and again, no matter how close you could be to getting caught. 
             His hips are going at a pace faster now than he thought possible, and with his fingers working your clit paired with his cock driving into the single most pleasurable spot inside of you, you find your body tensing up and your mind erasing every thought and memory. It’s so much to feel at once but you feel too weak to stop him for just the smallest moment of collecting yourself. 
 “Are you going to?” He asks, broken with his own moans and deep breaths as he does his best to keep pace and work you through it. “I know you want to.” He manages to breathe out, mimicking your own words from the time you had him in the palm of your hand. 
             And you do want to. So you fucking do. You come hard around him, clenching him so tightly that Mark stills his hips in disbelief at the way your body moves when you release. He can barely get the words out when he speaks, feeling you drench him with liquid fire. “You’re squeezing me so tight–” He chokes out, jerking his hips back and trying to pull out of you for his own release.
 “Do not pull out,” You groan as your orgasm continues to choke you of your breath. “Let me feel it, do it.” You demand, pressing yourself back and enveloping the inches of him that he had pulled from you.
 “Fuck. fuck.” He moans out louder this time, hands gripping your waist and holding you against him as he shakes behind you. You can feel him twitch inside of you as he shoots those thick, white ropes of cum against your walls. For a brief moment you remembered when he released from your hand, pressing himself slowly and roughly into your first. You were right. 
             Mark buries himself as deep as he can go, only grinding back a few centimeters before pressing himself flush against you as another spurt paints the flesh inside of you. You feel so full, and he’s packed so tightly in you  that you genuinely think this is the first time you’ve ever actually felt a man come inside of you. Like really feel it. 
             When he’s done, he’s so fucking fast to pull out of you. It shocks you, actually.
 “Where are you going?” You ask, looking behind you as he backs away from you momentarily in a panic. 
 “I–” He pauses, looking at you and the way your eyes look back at him in a different type of panic. “Don’t know.” He says, getting back onto the bed and reluctantly putting his arms around you in a hug.
 “I don’t know how to like, end this.” He admits against your shoulder, still reeling from the fact that it happened, but now in a post-nut state of mind and kind of scared of how much he loved doing that with you. 
 “End it?” You ask, pulling away from him. “You want to stop?”
 “You don’t?” He asks, a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. 
 “I mean, we both know what we are doing…” You trail off, sitting yourself up and fully aware that the guilt will always hit you at random times, but still, you want Mark. “And we still kept doing it.”
 “Yeah, but–” 
 “But?” You ask, turning your body to face him as he sits himself up now. The nakedness of your bodies is not at all embarrassing at this moment. 
 “Mark, I don’t think I can like, not want you if you still want me.”
             He nods his head reluctantly, wondering if this is you offering the fact that you’re willing to straight up, blatantly, and shamelessly cheat on Doyoung with him.
 “Ugh,” Mark puts his face in his hands and then runs his fingers through his hair. “This is so fucked up.”
 “Yeah, it is.” You admit, leaning towards him. “But If you never tell anyone,”
 “No, no! I wouldn’t.” Mark throws his hands up defensively. “I only feel bad when you’re not here.” He says questioning himself. “I don’t think I’d be able to like, not ever do this again.”
 “So we are both in this same little fucked up boat?” You ask. 
 “I guess so.” He laughs at himself, and then at you. “If he ever finds out, you know i’ll be found in a ditch somewhere, right?”
             You laugh, despite it being the worse fucking joke in the world. Running hand in hand with Mark into a fire that you both fucking searched for. 
 “Well, I’m not gonna fucking tell him.” You say, pressing the important matter at hand. “The point is, Mark, I need you to understand that I’ve never cheated on anyone.”
             Somehow, he lightens the mood.
 “Damn, I must be special.”
             You guess he is.
  ~
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jungkookstatts · 1 year
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Massage Envy
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[Summary]: Jungkook’s been stressed these days. What’s a better way to relax him other than a massage?
[Theme]: Established relationship!AU
[Rating]: 18+, explicit content, blow job, slight ass play, fluff if you squint, lots of making out, very sensual lovin’
[Word Count]: 4,939
[Author’s Note]: This is so descriptive 😀. I wanna say this was one of the first fan fics I wrote…at least of JK. So, bare with it. I tried to edit my terrible writing as much as I could ㅜㅡㅜ
[Masterlist] [Taglist]
“Feel good?” you question as you dig your thumbs into your boyfriend’s shoulders. You sigh happily, knowing that the man beneath you is receiving some form of release, as your fingers circulate into his honey skin. The knots in Jungkook’s muscles completely unravel beneath your fingertips, and you’re determined to unravel every last one of them for the rest of the night. He deserves it, anyways.
You wanted to give your boyfriend relief after the hell he put himself through this week. Jungkook knew it too – his body was too spent to deny help at this point, and the only person he is comfortable with seeing himself this way is you. So, of course, he readily gave himself to you, allowing you to rub away at the damage and replace it with your tender touches.
Jungkook groans in response to you, languidly nodding his head against the pillows. Sitting just below his ass, you press his body further into your shared mattress as you continue to work your hands lovingly into his skin.
Your boyfriend lies face-down on his side of the bed; his long, black hair is fanned out across the silk cover of the pillowcase, creating a little black halo of hair around his skull. The room is somewhat dark, only Jungkook’s table lamp lighting up the small corner of your shared bedroom. The light perfectly reflects the shine of his hair, and you can’t help but admire how well taken care of it is as he shifts his head into a non-verbal “yes”.
“I lovfe yhou sooooo much, bahbe–” Jungkook muffled against the pillow, his face totally smushed in the depths of the fabric. He sounds completely relaxed – voice scratchy and spent – as he allows himself to completely surrender to your touch.
Flustered at his confession, you work your thumbs harder into the knots on his shoulders, loving the way he immediately tenses and then relaxes as you smooth out the tightness within them.
Jungkook came home from practice today tense as a board. His muscles were rock hard, he couldn’t seem to sit still or take the time to breathe correctly, and he had a headache so frustrating and annoying he looked as if he was going to cry.
For the past few days, the man’s been training nonstop, working his body to the breaking point on one day and then working past that point on the next. You knew telling him to just “calm down” or “take a break” would fly right past his head – in one ear and out the other. It is not very useful advice, either. But you’re not good with words, and you didn’t have the right ones to say at the moment, either.
Your boyfriend is stubborn and is probably the most meticulous perfectionist you know; finding a way to comfort him when he is like this is not easy. He almost always goes his own way to get things done, refusing to allow anyone to interfere or help. Jungkook has told you before that it is like receiving a punch to the face when someone notices he looks off or thinks that he needs help with something he has been working on really hard on his own. He wants to appear strong and capable, regardless of his condition. Especially to you.
It has gotten better over time, though. The longer you explore each other, the better he feels about reaching out to you for comfort or help. You love seeing the transformations the two of you have overcome within yourselves since starting a relationship all those years ago. You two have really changed so much.
The smile on your face as Jungkook willingly slumped against you at the mention of a massage reminded you of that change. How, if you were to ask him if you could give him one because of his state a few years ago, he would have totally missed out on the opportunity. But now, he completely embraces your help, your concern, all of you, and all of himself – flaws and all.
“Love you, too,” you chuckle before leaning down to kiss his shoulder affectionately. Reaching for the peach-scented body oil on his nightstand, you quickly pop the lid open and tilt the bottle over his back. The oil slowly trickles onto his skin, the shallow lighting making the liquid on his honey skin all the more self-evident. It tempts you as it slides down his back in slow, thick drops.
“You need to take better care of yourself, babe,” you reprimand him as you spread the oil down to his lower back. “You can’t continue to improve if you don’t listen to your body.”
You watch the pinkish oil smear between your fingers as you touch his skin. The intimacy of the moment and the low lighting of the room makes something within you stir. Giving each other massages isn’t a foreign task between you two. In fact, they’ve developed into small mannerisms of affection in your relationship. They usually shift between gentle rubs on the shoulders while waiting for the other to finish up some online work, a hand massage whilst holding hands, or a tummy rub after eating one too many king-sized spicy ramen bowls. They are small gestures that both you and Jungkook admire.
But something about this massage – right when he needs it the most – makes the butterflies in your tummy relentlessly flutter their wings. The fluster it creates within you prompts you to circle your thumbs deeply along the outer muscles of his spine. Judging from the way he physically jolts as you work the area, you assume that the muscles there were abused the most over the last few days. You keep that in mind as you continue kneading his back.
“Mmhmmm – ahh jagiya — right there,” he groans, dismissing your earlier statement. The way your hands have found nearly every sore spot on his back has Jungkook completely blissed out. It feels so good – almost orgasmic, even – when your fingers rub away at the tension he ignored for so long. It has him thanking the heavens for your wonderful hands and simultaneously cursing at himself for not acknowledging them more in the past.
He must worship them later, he’s decided.
Listening to your boyfriend, you move your fingers firmly down near the lowest parts of his spine, which evokes an even deeper moan from his throat. You can hear it loud and clear, even though the front of his body is pushed like a brick against the sheets as you work your hands on him. It’s so deep, it sends heavy shocks throughout his entire body (and yours).
Sitting on top of him, you can’t help but blush. You aren’t a rock – of course, his moans would spark the dirtiness within you to flush your cheeks into a dark hue. No matter the innocent intent you had prior to the massage, you can’t deny your boyfriend’s reactions to your touches make your pussy ache for more.
He sounds so sexy and raptured. The way he groans when you hit the spots he can’t reach, and the way he whines when you massage the spots that are the tensest – all of it has your cheeks hot and your thighs feeling like jello. You wonder if he can feel the pool between your thighs grow with each moan that physically vibrates through his body and straight to your core.
But this massage is not about you, and these dirty thoughts have no place here. Especially when you’re trying so graciously to knead his muscle-y, hot, tense, sexy back with domestic care. Yep, they have no place here. No place at all. Even though the angle you sit at gives you the perfect view of his toned ass. In fact, you have the perfect view of his entire backside. With every massage against a sore spot, his thighs flex underneath you and unknowingly lift you higher until they relax again.
It’s all too much…his back, skin, ass, thighs, arms… the way he whimpers and moans and tenses from your fingers alone. How can you stay innocent when sounds so sweet underneath you?
You can’t help but want to please him in a different way now – still with your hands, and still to bring him to the pit of relaxation. Just…in a different area…for a different part of the brain.
Your stare wanders around his back. His broad shoulders are wide and stretched out for you, his forearms resting just underneath his pillow while his biceps poke out from the pillow like a triangle, supporting his head from underneath. The skin of his shoulders teases you with memories of when they had the reddest of scratches and the purplest of love bites covering the large surface. You have to make him feel that kind of good tonight. Maybe even better.
Challenging him, you lift your ass off his upper thighs and bring your lips to the very base of his neck before kissing the skin there softly. It’s feather-light, testing the waters before you dive in. You can feel the goosebumps appear under the hand that still works his muscles at his lower back. The other slowly slides up the side of his chest with ease. With the help of the oil, your hand against his warm skin slides like silk underneath your fingertips, feeling his body underneath you slowly and sensually.
Jungkook shivers as your mouth hovers above his skin, waiting for what you’ll do next. He gulps as you make your next move, sucking on the skin you just kissed. Your tongue is so hot and wet, lapping and sucking at his skin with slow passion. He whimpers underneath you, loving the way your touch turned from moral to intimate.
Jungkook would be lying if he said the whole experience wasn’t just as sexy for him, too. You turned him on from the moment you sat on the back of his thighs and dripped the hot oil onto his back. Your heat is so obvious to him – your heartbeat thumping through your pussy, gathering more heat against his thighs with each garbled moan and whimper that left his mouth. You are basically dripping through your night shorts. Although, he cannot tease you for it, because his own cock painfully pokes against the fabric of the mattress as you sit on his ass.
Your hand pressing on his lower back parallels the motion of your hand on the opposite side, just underneath his arm. Both glide to his upper back with the help of the oil as you begin to kiss down his spine. You manage to find a place between a few pecks against his spine to whisper, “Turn around for me,”
And he does in a heartbeat, immensely determined to feel you on his lap. Jungkook doesn’t know if he can wait anymore. He wants to feel you brushing against his length as you spread oil all over his chest and abs. He wants your hands on him again, to feel your fingers torture his skin and keep him begging for more. The thought alone has blood rushing straight to his already straining cock in his tight boxers.
Once settled, you softly plop yourself right on top of his dick, sending him a smirk whilst his jaw tightens at the feeling of his cock resting beneath your core. Jungkook looks at you with need, his bottom lip tortured underneath his front teeth as he watches you start to move your hips tremendously slow against his.
You can feel the way his dick twitches when you place your oily hands firmly against his lower abs, slowly moving up toward his nipples. You rest your hand flat on his chest, trapping his nipples between your index and middle finger. Jungkook lets out an airy grunt as you leisurely bring the two digits together, gently pinching the sensitive buds between them. Jungkook’s breath hitches in his chest as you start to move your fingers with his nipples trapped between them, the sensitivity exciting him beyond belief.
Your hands leave his nipples and continue their northern journey up to his clavicles, then to his neck, and finally his jaw. Softly holding his face in your hands, you lower your face to his. Jungkook’s eyes close in anticipation, his face gently pressing up towards yours, expecting to be kissed. He whines when you antagonize him with just a light brush of your lips against his.
Jungkook breathes deeply against your mouth, exhaling in torment and inhaling with the highest level of self-control he can muster.
“Please,” he begs just above a whisper.
Eyes closed and a tortured wrinkle between his brows, he waits for your lips to break the tension. He is so patient and willing tonight, so you decide to reward him with a firm press of your lips to his, moving against his soft mouth surely.
You can feel the vibration of the moan he lets out from his lips smacking against yours. His voice travels straight to your core, prompting your hips to circle his own faster in search of friction.
Jungkook swipes his tongue against your lips, feeling the desire for your tongue to dance with his own. His hands come up to your jaw, holding you in place against his mouth as if you’d run away if he didn’t hold you there himself.
Jungkook grunts at the way your hips harshly grind against his. He wants more of you – he always wants more of you – but his head is too fuzzy with pleasure to think straight. You’re kissing him stupid.
His body acts on its own, his large hands moving from your jaw to under your night shirt. Hot palms follow his desire to feel you as he cups the area just under your boobs, thumbs swiping back and forth against the skin underneath them. He can feel your heartbeat thumping rapidly underneath his palm, prompting him to lightly circle his thumb over the aroused area of your breast. Jungkook’s mouth still moves in tandem with yours as he tweaks your nipples in between his fingertips.
Jungkook groans at the way you gently bite on his lower lip before trailing your kisses down to his neck. He only gets louder when you find his sweet spot before he can even process the fact that you’re sucking on his neck. Jungkook’s head falls back onto the pillows as his hands move down to grip your ass in his hands. Groping both cheeks firmly, he pulls them apart before grinding them down harshly onto his bulge, giving one of them a harsh smack out of his pure arousal.
You attack his neck, forming bruise after bruise on his precious skin. Your boyfriend flushes his body into yours from pleasure. You want to wreck him so badly. Feeling evil and lustrous, you bite his sweet spot hard, overcome by the man underneath you. Jungkook’s mouth falls open at the feeling, head pressing further against the cushion of the pillow.
Still kissing his neck, you reach for the bottle on the nightstand, pop the lid open with your thumb, and tip the bottle over his chest. The oil runs all over his tanned skin, slowly covering it with a teasing glow over his chest and abs. Raising your head, you stare down at the man beneath you lovingly, looking into his eyes with lust as you continue to grind on his cock firmly.
Your hands venture from his chest to his clavicles, shoulders, arms, and hands, and then back to his pecks, stopping briefly to play with his nipples again.
Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat as you roll them between your fingers, his eyes fluttering slightly as he tries his hardest to keep eye contact with you.
Impulsively, his hips buck into your own when you come down to suck one into your mouth, licking and biting at the sensitive area of his chest. Jungkook tries to control his breathing, he really does, but it feels so good. Too good. And you haven’t even touched his dick yet.
Grinning at the way his chest uncontrollably tightens from your mouth, you reach for more oil before dripping the liquid down his abs. It trickles over his pack, the six defined rolls acting as hills when the oil attempts to slip over each one.
Picking up the pace, you move your hips faster against him. You watch his eyes flutter closed, enjoying the way your thinly clothed core rubs against the front of his Calvin’s. His cock is completely hard and throbbing against you. You’re driving him mad with everything that is you. He could cum right now if you’d let him, but he knows better.
Fingers spreading the oil across his abs, you enjoy the way your boyfriend’s eyebrows fuse together in pure satisfaction. Jungkook’s head feels dazed and light when you begin to kiss him on the skin just below his ear.
“Look at me, Jungkook,” you whisper against the cartilage of his ear.
Jungkook shivers at your voice in his ear, listening to your breathy sighs against his skin, feeling your wet lips kiss him from his ears to his neck, to his chest, all the way down to his clothed dick behind his black boxers. He stares at you like you asked him to, watching you intensely as you rest between his thighs, lightly kissing his covered shaft.
Jungkooks fists ball the sheets beside him, his head falling back at the feeling before quickly returning back to your gaze.
“Please,” he begs you again, cheeks flushed, ears red, and breath heavy from the teasing you have given him. He tries his best not to buck his hips at you, channeling the desire in his throat instead, swallowing harshly and waiting patiently to be touched.
Jungkook groans when he watches your mouth lick from his base to tip on the thin fabric, tongue teasing his cock.
“Nghhh–” he whines, briefly tilting his head back again in an effort to keep his control. “Fuck, please, baby. I need you so bad.”
Wrapping your lips around his clothed head, you hum deeply against him, sending shocks of ecstasy throughout his entire cock. Jungkook’s thighs tense at the feeling, trying to direct the pressure to his legs instead of having it tempt his vision from falling back again. He needs you, and the only way you will give him what he wants is if he does what is asked of him.
“Okay, baby,” you finally give in, chuckling a little when he sighs loudly in relief. He truly doesn’t know how long he is going to last in your mouth, but he knows for a fact he’s probably going to have one of the best orgasms of his life from just your mouth alone.
Hooking your index fingers under the waistband of his boxers, you slowly and gently tug them down his legs and onto the floor, watching his cock spring up in excitement.
The sight has your mouth watering immediately – dick red and angry, just asking to be sucked on. Licking your lips, you softly cup his balls in one hand and grip the base of his cock in the other. Jungkook’s head falls back, biting his lip so hard he swears he will bleed. His fists scratch at the mattress, trying his best not to release from finally being touched in the area he’s been begging for release from.
“Watch me, Jungkook, or I’ll stop,” you command, giving his balls a squeeze.
“Okay–ffuckk–o-okay,” he moans, quickly bunching up the pillows behind his head to get a better look at you. Jungkook gulps at the sight: your lips are so wet, basically drooling on his cock. Your hands grip his dick in the way he loves best, your face so determined to give him pleasure. He’s never seen anything so goddamn sexy before in his life. And to think you’re all his…the fact makes him go absolutely insane underneath you.
You lick at his tip teasingly, keeping eye contact with him to make sure he’s not taking his eyes off you. Jungkook stares back at you with drunken eyes. He’s flushed and obedient to whatever you do to him, ready for you to play with his pleasure.
You can’t help but give in, teasing him again with your tongue along his frenulum, lapping it up and down on the sensitive fold.
Your hands slowly pump the base of his cock, palms gliding well with the help of the oil from earlier. You don’t go all the way up to his tip, just to edge him further.
“G-god, you’re so fffucking mean,” he laughs tightly in his chest. He’s struggling, but it only makes you smile, loving that he knows that you’re the one in charge tonight.
Looking at his chest as you move your mouth from his frenulum to the tip of his head, smiling at the way he tries to keep his calm when you slick your tongue up and down across the most sensitive part of him. Lips wrapping around his angry tip, you suck him harshly as your wrists flick slowly up and down the rest of his cock, twisting all the way up to your mouth and back down to the base.
“A-ahhh, j-jagi,” Jungkook whines, hands trapping your hair tightly in his fists.
You stare at him the whole time, watching his face go from frustrated to pure euphoria as he struggles to keep his eyes open. After a few more strokes of his cock, one of your twisting hands leaves his dick to skim your fingertip across the skin connecting his balls to his shaft.
Your tongue delves further down his dick, your mouth following afterward, sinking down onto him completely, your nose nudging the skin of his pelvis.
“Nghhh..!” he nearly shouts, legs tensing – almost kicking – against the bedding.
Jungkook’s eyes come back and forth between the back of his skull and your face a few times before you swallow his top at the back of your throat. At this point, his grip on your hair is so tight, your own eyes start to roll back in pleasure.
Jungkook moans so loudly into the empty air of your bedroom that you feel your own slick start to uncomfortably drip down the side of your thigh. Your cunt is pulsing and hot, begging for friction as you deliver pleasure to your sweet boyfriend.
He is just so sexy like this, struggling to follow your demand whilst receiving euphoric pleasure. Your pussy can’t take it anymore, and you suddenly find yourself reaching your free hand down past your night shorts, circling your clit as you trace the outer rim of his ass with your other hand.
Swallowing a few more times around him, you bring your mouth back up to his tip only to sink back down on him again. Gathering a semi-quick pace to fuck him with, you watch his face and thigh muscles contort in euphoric unison. The finger gently plays with his ass coming back and forth between his balls, shaft, and ass as you bob your head up and down on him, your tongue swirling around him altogether.
Jungkook is going absolutely mad, whimpering and moaning as you continue to wrap him around your pretty little finger, watching your beautiful face fuck him with your mouth willingly. Just cause you want to.
It takes everything in him not to say "fuck it" and buck his hips violently into your mouth. He fights his pleasure and your set rule in a bloody war between obedience and desire. You can tell with the way his eyes struggle to not find purchase at the back of his head, and the way his dick twitches in your mouth every so often. His reactions have you rubbing at yourself harder, and before long, you moan into him as your slick gathers around your fingers.
Jungkook hadn't noticed you started touching yourself until now. The slick from your pussy snaps in the air as you harshly rub your fingers against yourself. Jungkook's eyes trail from your face to your hand, circling yourself fast and hard between your legs. At the sight, his thighs tense harshly against you, threatening to close around your body and trap you tightly between his legs. His toes curl at the sight of you touching yourself, the scene so sexy that his cock twitches uncontrollably in your mouth. Pushing a finger into his ass from the loss of eye contact, you watch his eyes and head go back completely, giving up on your request as your finger finds his prostate.
"Ahh, ah—mGHhhh, ba-baby...gonna cum. I'm gonna cum—" He moans euphorically. Jungkook pushes your head down onto his cock quickly, his hips bucking upwards into your throat.
He thrusts into your mouth now, completely disobeying himself and your word. But after seeing you touch yourself just from sucking him off, he can’t listen to anything else but his desire.
You choke against him, tears forming at the edges of your eyes. Jungkook's head seizes deep into the cushion of the pillows, neck tense and strained as he completely empties his balls into your mouth, the hot thick ropes of his release filling you up. You take all of him, refusing to waste a drop.
You keep trailing your finger in, out, and around his balls and ass as you suck his cum into your mouth for what felt like a full minute, watching him pant and moan your name incoherently as he does so. You take it all graciously, enjoying the way his gratefulness for you shows in the way he continues to release himself.
Lifting your mouth from his cock, you rest your forehead against his upper thigh as you whimper and gasp against him. Not soon after, your cunt gushes all over your fingers, letting it soak your panties and shorts. You moan against his thigh while your fingers work through the last few waves of your orgasm.
The two of you breathe harshly against each other for a few minutes. Your bodies sink into the mattress heavily, allowing yourselves to take the time to catch your breath. That is until you break the silence with a shy giggle.
"What's—" He rasps, clearing his throat before continuing. "What's so funny?"
You hum, kissing his thigh lovingly before looking up to his fucked-out face. "You made me cum my pants."
"Heh," He smiles, leaning his head back against the pillows again, giving you a sickeningly hot view of his neck. You watch his Adam's apple move up and down from his next words "Yeah, well, I think you gave me the best head I've ever received in my life. Didn't think sucking cock would make you cum that hard, though."
"I always feel like that when I suck your cock," You smirk, to which Jungkook eyes you, telling you not to make him horny again. You chuckle before climbing up his body to kiss his lips.
Jungkook can't help but smile against you, though still completely dazed from his orgasm. He doesn't care in the slightest that he can taste himself on your lips. He only cares about the way your lips slowly tuck into his in soft, drawn-out motions.
"I love you," You mumble against his cherry lips.
"I love you, too," He smiles sweetly, tucking your hair behind your ear. "Thank you for taking care of me. I know I can ignore self-care sometimes, but I'll try to be better. For both you and me."
Smiling at his words, you kiss the tip of his nose before nuzzling your face into his neck, breathing his familiar scent deeply.
"Although, if I get that kind of treatment every time I go overboard..."
You pinch his shoulder, eliciting a sexy chuckle from his chest.
"Shut up, loser. Acknowledge my massage."
Jungkook turns himself into you, pulling you closer into his chest whilst laughing deeply in your ear, his breath lightly tickling the side of your neck.
"Your massage was wonderful," He whispers, kissing your forehead sweetly. "Let me give you one next time, yeah?"
Taking a deep breath against his chest, you tightly wrap your arm under his, hand coming to grab at his shoulder. Jungkook hugs you as you tighten around his body. His fingers gently trap your chin between them, moving your face up to his.
Jungkook stares at you questionably, waiting for a response. He looks at you with one eyebrow raised, and the other relaxed. The tiny mole underneath his bottom lip is extremely visible from where you stare up at him. His cherry lips tempt you yet again, swollen and red from harsh tugs delivered against them earlier this evening. You watch his dark brown eyes stare down at your own puffy lips. He gives in first, letting his lips feel the velvet of your own. Jungkook sighs into you, rubbing your back soothingly as he swipes and brushes his lips against yours like honey.
Pulling away, you look at his face, feeling an overwhelming amount of love surge through your entire body. He keeps his eyes closed, basking in the feeling of your body so close to his.
"I'd like that," You whisper against his cheek. Jungkook opens his eyes again, tugging his lips upwards as he slowly nudges his nose against yours.
After a few more moments, he gently scoops you into his arms, lifting you up in his strong hold, before carrying you to the bathroom to clean you two up.
----
[End. Do not copy. Original work of @jungkookstatts , 2023]
1K notes · View notes
rosesloveletters · 6 months
Text
all is fair in love.
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Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Fem. Reader
Word Count: 10,261
Warnings: sexual content / smut.
Summary: The holidays are Wonka's busiest season and his work keeps him away from reader much more than either of them would like. After hours, the two spend a passionate night together as they both make the necessary arrangements to be attentive to each other's needs and empathetic of the complexity of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship that neither reader nor Wonka are accustomed to.
Author's Note: my smut fics are always between 6-10k haha so enjoy. I edited this the best I could, but for some reason I kept switching between first person and second person pov for reader (I don't know why since I always write in second person pov.) I think I fixed most of it, so if there's any parts I missed, I'm sorry. Also, I'd like to mention that Christmas isn't inherently important to the events in this story. It is used as an element only to convey why Wonka is so busy during this time of year, because most people like to buy chocolate and candy as gifts. I know Gene was Jewish, even though I believe he said he wasn't exactly religious. I have no intention of trying to be offensive/belittle/make light of anyone's religion or beliefs and I apologize if it comes across that way because it is without a doubt not my intention. 
Edited.
divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.
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You’ve always believed that if you truly love someone, then you keep it a secret. 
You would let that feeling freeze me down to the core – to love the way a person is meant to, but it is that same love that, inevitably and irrevocably, suffocates. 
You cannot satisfy that craving the same way one might satisfy a sweet tooth. Once given a taste, it seeps down into your skin, infecting both body and mind, pierces the heart and tears it wide open. 
The thundering beat inside your chest cannot be silenced. The fingertips of fate trace the spider-like, lightning-strike veins that split your heart right down the middle. 
A broken heart takes love like a beating.
It all comes boiling to the surface, bubbling up and out in the breath of a second.
The truth always comes out, one way or another. 
Because if you don’t let the heart have its’ way, then it will tear itself right out of your chest.
***
The days were short, but the hours were long. 
You spent much of your time by yourself, as this season kept Willy preoccupied. Time marched onward and the weeks themselves seemed to drag; it was nearing Christmastime and that meant very little to you in the grand scheme of things, except that you’d be seeing less and less of your lover. 
Traditionally, the holidays were a time of celebration and joy, gifts and laughter shared between friends and families alike. 
However, you lived a nontraditional life now, and Willy had unwittingly shown you that the life of a chocolatier was a solitary one. You knew that the busy holiday season was what pulled him away, but his lack of attentiveness made you wonder…
The only thing that kept these thoughts at bay was the way in which he looked at you when he was around. 
Willy was a difficult man to read. Whether that was intentional or not, were you still trying to determine. The only dead giveaway were his eyes – startlingly intense and piercingly blue – that bore no resemblance to subtlety. 
The vastness of the heavens, it seemed, were contained within those swirling galaxies. On dark nights when the cloud cover was too thick, you traced the constellations in his eyes to guide you into his morning light. 
You could see yourself peeling back the layers of his heart to get to the source of how he truly felt.
Deflect from it all he might – “I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time–” you saw right through him and sometimes that only made him steer clear of you for longer. 
It wasn’t that he did not care for you; it was quite the opposite. Perhaps the extent to which he cared was a bit overwhelming for him at times. He immersed himself in his work during these times, else his mind inevitably carried him to places he would rather not visit. 
Willy Wonka’s mind was not a place any person, sometimes even himself, should ever go without a guide or a distinct way back. 
Though anyone with half a brain could tell that the amazing chocolatier was a troubled man on occasion, his true nature shone through in his creations. Something about this season’s batch of chocolate was a touch sweeter than ones previous. It would go undetected by those who did not have a refined palate, but like the saying goes, a true artist would put their blood, sweat and tears into their work and Willy Wonka was a mastermind. 
He knew exactly what he was doing and what he meant to convey, if only between himself and one other: the world’s most famous chocolatier was in love.
***
You sat on the plush sofa in the personal wing of the factory, a book in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate in the other. You were nestled beneath a thick-knit, purple blanket as you read and waited on Willy to return to your den for the night. 
You saw less and less of him the closer it got to the holidays, but such was the nature of his business. Christmastime was one of the busiest seasons and the one in which he made most of his money (the second being Valentine’s Day.) People bought exorbitant amounts of candies and chocolate during the holidays and so Willy was forced to expedite production (though never sacrificing quality) and work long, difficult hours preparing new and exciting treats for the public. In fact, it was no well-kept secret that Willy Wonka unveiled his newest creations around this time of year and that very news was plastered in every newspaper, magazine and bulletin across the world as people anticipated the exciting, brand-new sweets there would be to try. 
You knew the excitement and rush of the season fed into Willy’s own excitement over his work. He was thrilled to be working on new ideas and expressing himself through his creativity and imagination. It meant the world to him and so you did your best to stay out of the way. You did not want to make the situation about you and, after all, he always made it up to you.
 He was aware that his absence bothered you and he tried not to think about the fact that he may or may not be doing irreparable damage to your relationship. 
Not every difficult time or situation was an attack against you. It wasn’t personal, nor was it anyone’s explicit fault. Willy had a factory to run, Oompa-Loompas to manage and ideas to manifest into reality. Sometimes, your relationship would take a backseat and if you were serious about being with him, then you would have to be alright with that and you were, although that did not mean that it didn’t hurt from time to time. 
It would have been nice to relax and enjoy the season with your lover without his work getting in the way. You would have loved to curl up with him, sitting at opposite ends of the couch and enjoying lots of hot chocolate and hours of warm conversation. If you had your pick, you’d gladly have him here with you now, trading the book in your hands for his warm body, his fingers linked perfectly into the spaces between yours. 
You reasoned that this was just how things would have to be for now. No sense in adding more pressure on him by complaining. He was aware of how you felt, but sadly there was nothing to be done about it. You never would have dreamed of asking him to pick between his work and you. That would not have been fair or right. You could handle this, for now, but deep down you missed him terribly. 
Even if you chose to spend time with him inside the factory part of the building, he would be working the whole time. There simply was no time for much of anything else. He did like when you would drop by because you were his faithful little taste-tester. Better to try it out on you before selling it to the masses – that would seem cruel, knowing that his candies have had certain negative effects on people in the past, but rest assured, Willy had never given you anything that might harm you. 
Any candy which made its way to you had been tested and re-tested to perfection before it ever passed between your lips. 
He wanted feedback on his candy before it left the factory and you were more than happy to offer it to him, to which he was enthusiastically grateful. The only problem was, true to inventor fashion, he asked for feedback on everything. He wanted your opinion and was asking for it increasingly often these days. When you didn’t show up to the inventing room on certain days, he’d bring a whole box back to your shared living space and eagerly watch you with anticipation of your positive remarks as you were asked to try every piece. 
He was always so grateful to you for that and, honestly, you didn’t mind. You liked candy and chocolate, so there was no reason you couldn’t afford him this act of kindness.
The only thing you really felt like you were missing was him and it plagued your mind most often while you were alone, which was of course very often. You kept yourself busy and occupied your thoughts with other things as much as you were able, but when you settled in for the night, your loneliness crept in and took up the space beside you that would have otherwise been occupied by your beloved chocolatier.
You didn’t mind your alone time, but too much of it was not ideal. 
Too much of a good thing came with a price and now it seemed you were paying it with interest. 
The sound of a door opening and shutting pulled you from your thoughts. You glanced down at your book to realize you’d just had it propped open against your knees this whole time and hadn’t read a bit. You marked your place and closed it with a huff, setting it down on the end table beside you, your mug of half-drank cocoa with it. 
A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall – thank God he hadn’t cut that one in half – showed that it was ten minutes after midnight. 
It did not come as a surprise that Willy was so late. It was only your wildest guess as to what he had been working on, but that point was moot. You did not really care what he was working on. 
That thought seemed harsh and you frowned; no, you were adamantly against resenting him for his work. That path was one you would not let yourself go down, a trap of codependence, you told yourself, but why couldn’t he just be a little more present with you? Surely it wasn’t too much to ask. 
Perhaps you would ask. 
It would make the most sense to be upfront with him about how you were feeling and to be as direct as possible. 
You did not move from the couch. You waited on Willy to come and find you, unlike the many days and nights when you might have greeted him at the door. 
Several quiet moments passed between yourself and your thoughts before Willy entered the room. He had shed his purple coat at the door, as well as his hat and cane, “there you are, my dear,” his gentle tone made your stomach clench as warmth pooled in your abdomen. Even troubled with doubts, you were still delighted to see him.
You watched as he approached and dropped himself on the opposite end of the couch. He nudged your knee with his, silently asking for a bit more space which you politely gave, “I would have been back sooner, but I’ve been so busy, as I’m sure you’re aware.”
“Yes, it is that time of year,” you replied coolly. You didn’t want to jump into the meat of the discussion too soon, otherwise he might take offense where there was none. 
He seemed in a good enough mood that perhaps this would be the perfect time to strike. 
“Yes, my dear, it’s the holiday season which does wonders for my business and I couldn’t be happier.”
His pride in the work he was doing warmed your heart. You listened to him for a while as he recounted what he had been working on that day. 
He cared so much and spoke so passionately, yet your mind began to wander.
“Is everything alright, my dear?”
His tender voice captured your attention and you blinked slowly, “yes, I’m fine. But, there is something I would like to talk to you about.” 
His lips hitched into a faint smile, then flattened into a serious line. It bothered you, not being able to read his face.
“There is? Well, you know that you can always talk to me about anything on your mind.”
You didn’t want to overwhelm him, not when he was already so fully immersed within his work. He needed time and space to focus. He did not need you hindering his creative flow by hanging all over him and demanding more attention. He already gave so much; how could you even dare to think that he owed you more?
“I know you’re busy this time of year, but do you think it would be possible for us to spend a little more time together?” My voice cracked as I added, “I…really miss you, Willy.” 
You hadn’t meant to speak with words that were laced with such pain, but in fairness you did miss him terribly. By the time he made his way to you most nights, you were already in bed or heading there and in the mornings before you’d woken up, he would be gone. It bothered you to not see him and you wanted him to hear it. He needed to know the truth if you meant to be honest with him, you only hoped he’d be able to understand that you didn’t blame him. 
Conversations like this always made you second guess yourself. 
By this point, you realized that he had not responded. He was probably just thinking about what he would say, but usually it didn’t take him this long to reply. 
“Willy?” you gently urged him, reaching out to place your hand on his arm. 
Whenever he felt the gentle graze of your fingertips against the fabric of his shirt, he glanced down, admiring the tender touch with a wistful smile on his face before he looked up at you and the emotion held inside of those ice-blue eyes was almost enough to send you over the edge and into uncontrollable sobs of relief. 
You felt the tension in your shoulders beginning to dissipate. Good, he felt the same way. 
He was still staring at you like there was something more on his mind. That was the way things were with Wonka and you’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t thought on more than one occasion that it’s a good thing you weren’t a mind reader because there were things that went on inside his head that should stay there. It was better that you didn’t try to trace his Machiavellian ways or make sense of the enigmatic man who so frequently surprised you with small glimpses into how he really thought and viewed the world. It was fun getting to know who he was, but the true wonderment was in not knowing him at all. 
He tested your mind and all your senses, but never pushed your boundaries. He could knock you off your stride in seconds, then act as if nothing had happened. You were playing his little chess game and he was already three or more moves ahead. It had only been a matter of time before you had fallen into his hands like this. 
Things were as they were because Wonka wanted them to be. His quips and wisecracks often went over people’s heads, especially because of how well-versed he was in literature and culture. He could make the whole world fall in love with him at once, then forget him as soon as they were no longer in his presence, but you believed the world adored him much more than he liked to think it did. 
“I didn’t say anything sooner because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being insensitive, since I know you’re not intentionally ignoring me.” 
This statement made him smile for some reason, “where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear; where little fears grow great, great love grows there.” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)
At first, you didn’t know what to say. You had a bit of trouble discerning what he meant sometimes, missing the larger picture for deciding why he chose a specific quote at a specific time. 
Seeming to read your thoughts, he let out a polite chuckle, “This is to say, even in love do the smallest doubts scare you, but when you are afraid of such little things, you are still in love, too.”
His explanation seemed to help, if only for a second. 
It was true that you had your doubts, but those doubts only stemmed from love. That fear which grew inside of you had taken root, but when enough time had passed, it was the love which had bloomed from it. 
Both the fear and love would come with a connection as strong as this one.
In the beginning, Willy had never dreamed of having a romantic partner. His solitary lifestyle simply lacked the means necessary to cultivate a long-term relationship. He had never desired romance or human connection of any kind. He had his factory and the Oompa-Loompas to look after; he was stretched thin as it was.
It was with sickening rapture that he sought the reason for why his heart seemed so content within your hands. He had to know the true meaning behind what he felt, even if he had to wade out in to the wild, dark depths up to his neck. He was barely treading water, sinking still, feet kicking desperately and hands reaching, clawing for purchase but there was nothing for him to grab onto. No way to steady himself as his soul careened toward what he had been running from for so long, a runaway train on the track towards trust and away from self-preservation. 
At first, you wanted to be the one in control. You had your fair share of demons and setting the pace for the relationship yourself was very important to you, but neither of you wanted to go too far too fast. 
You became acclimated to his world quite quickly. 
You just seemed to fit right in and, with time, Wonka found himself closer to you than he had ever been with another person. 
The two of you had been together for quite some time now and the red string of fate binding your hearts together was pulled taut. 
It seemed that you both knew you were in the right hands and the love that grew here was stronger than any fears or doubts which gripped you. 
“What scares me the most is that you’re pulling away from me,” you confessed to him, and that revelation made his eyes widen perceptibly, “sometimes I think you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.”
The conversation had shifted and Wonka realized that you were no longer just discussing his absence in light of the holidays. There was deeper emotion and meaning laced within what you were saying to him now. 
He was used to being alone, as were you. The only difference was that while you had never lost hope that the right person might come along, he had done everything he could to close himself off. His heart was a precious thing and that was what the world had been after. Yes, he had closed his factory because of theft, but he put his whole heart into his work and, if anyone were to steal his heart, then there would be nothing left for the one whom it belonged to. 
He made sure he guarded his heart all these years, even if he didn’t know the reason for it. It was easier to deny the very fact that love was something every person desires, even ones who have become so layered and complex that it would be difficult to imagine what a true love might look like for them. 
Wonka was not afraid of anything. 
However, if one thing made him apprehensive it was the idea of anyone finding him out. 
Not that there was any chance of that; no one was able to think quite like him. But if anyone came close, that meant he’d cling to them forever, holding on for dear love. 
His gaze shifted down to your hands that were folded in your lap and reached for one. Long, delicate fingers gently wrapping around your right hand as he brought it to his mouth. 
A kiss for each finger, you counted, one two three four five…
Then, his lips made contact with your inner wrist. The sudden and unexpected brush of lips against your sensitive skin made your breath hitch.
“I promise to be more attentive,” he whispered on your skin, his hot breath tickling the inner area of your wrist, “the only one pulling me anywhere is you and I am only moving forward.” 
“You’ve got to go forwards to go back.”
He had believed that, in more ways than just one, in relation to his factory and to people, but there was no going back now. Even if that were an opinion, he wouldn’t have wanted to.
Within half a second, he dropped your hand and tilted his head, leaned in close and pressed his warm lips to yours in the most sensual, tender kiss your lips had ever known.
Your heart fluttered in your chest like butterfly wings beating against your ribcage, desperate to free itself and get to his. Your soul sought the kind of connection that your mouths were getting and jealousy was an understatement. 
If this was his way of making it up to you, then let it be known that you wanted nothing else for Christmas this year than a clear mind and the taste of your lover left over on your cupid’s bow. 
It was all electric, body and soul alight, glistening brighter than fairy lights strung up for the season. 
He tasted sweeter than his own candy and you smiled into the kiss at the very thought. He ate a lot of his own sweets, if only to test the taste, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sugared kisses, your sweet tooth craving satisfied only by his honeyed lips. 
Somewhere in the haze you found the opportunity to grip handfuls of his tawny tresses, fingers digging into the soft curls that drove your heart mad with desire. You loved his hair and so infrequently did he let you touch or comb it. It was about as unruly as he was, wild, untamed and free, just like the man it belonged to. 
Your gentle tugging on his hair elicited a soft grunt from him and his lips attacked yours more feverishly, taking on a more aggressive quality now that you had accepted and encouraged him. 
There was no rhyme or reason for anything that occurred while you were with him, except what was happening now.
Wonka did everything on a whim. Sleeping, eating, working…no schedule, no routine, no nonsense. 
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”
Perhaps the most nonsensical thing that had ever happened in Wonka’s factory was your fear that he might leave you. 
Strike that. Don’t reverse it. 
You didn’t want anything to change. There were more twists and turns in this man’s head than there were in his factory and you had lost yourself trying to find your way out. You never left his mind, not once. Even while he worked or spent time alone, you were in his thoughts, whether it was subconscious or not. 
Your own mind didn’t register your movement as you crawled closer and sought out more of his sugary sweetness which was more potent than any nectar of the gods. Your lips devoured his, tasting every inch of the same mouth that poured prose and poetry into your ear each night that you laid with him.
He hummed pleasantly against your lips. His gentle sounds teased you; so rare was it that he ever made a sound during these moments of intimacy. Oh, how you tried, and your futile attempts filled him with great satisfaction. He had more discipline than you ever imagined; living alone for so many years without the warmth of another had taught him to go without, but desperation clung to his bones and manifested through each fervent, heated kiss. 
Willy wouldn’t have described himself as needy, but he appreciated physical intimacy when it occurred and sometimes it was as necessary as any other proper communication. He wanted more than a quick romp; he craved human connection. It was completely unfounded for someone like him to want to share a connection with anyone, but here he was asking for it with his mouth on yours and your reciprocation of that same need meant everything to him. 
You tested the waters, grazing your teeth along his bottom lip to determine how far he might be willing to go. He didn’t stop you. His lips simply parted, allowing entry of your tongue. 
The only sound he made was a little gasp, which you swallowed as your tongue delved in to taste the inside of his mouth. Your hands were still holding the sides of his head, fingers buried deep within his unruly curls. 
He helped maneuver your body closer to his, unabashedly bringing you to sit on his lap. As you settled on top of him, one of his large hands moved down to the small of your back and held you firmly in place. 
You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You had no grasp of how long the two of you continued to kiss like that. The passage of time, though a precious thing, was unimportant in the current moment. The only thing you demanded more of was him and you would greedily take all that he had to offer you. 
You were enchanted by him. He surprised you at every turn and, if it had been anyone else, you’d have questioned where you stood with them, but wasn’t that the point? The less anyone knew about Willy Wonka, the more exciting it felt to be in his presence. 
It was impossible to know whether the things he revealed about himself were true or not and there was beauty in that alone. If beauty was in the eye of the beholder, then he had the upper hand here.
You did not stop to see why his hand had suddenly been removed from your back, but any questions you might’ve wished to voice were answered when you noticed him reaching for one of the top buttons on his vest. 
The steady progression of events had led you here and you were too immersed within the moment to stop him, but you wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. You were entranced, enthralled, enraptured by the whole of him and his heart belonged to yours. 
The wet graze of your tongue against his cupid’s bow spurred him further, lips tangled tantalizingly with yours as his fingers worked open the buttons on his vest. 
The threshold had been breached. 
The moment was yours for the taking, if you wanted it and you knew that you did. 
Lost somewhere between drunk on lust and in love, you began to help him unbutton, starting at the bottom of his vest and continuing until your hands met in the middle of his chest. You followed this same pattern for both rows of buttons.
Coincidentally, this journey ended right above his heart, but another one was merely beginning. 
Your hands were shaking with anticipation as you looked up to notice him already gazing at you lovingly. A tender smile curved his lips like a crescent moon and the sunlight bleeding out through the cracks in your soul made the stars in his eyes sparkle. 
You cupped his cheek and pressed a gentle kiss onto the bridge of his nose. His arms encircled you, holding you flush against him and his shirtsleeves rode up on his forearms, exposing just a fraction of skin with a fine dusting of sand-colored hair. 
You let him hold you to him as his lips attached to your neck. You imagined when he pulled back that there would be an imprint of lips, a tattoo of his love painted across your collarbone, signifying that you belonged to him alone. 
You tilted your head to give him better access and he thanked you by delivering a loving nip to the column of your neck. 
You hadn’t forgotten your intention. 
With hands still shaking, you reached for his vest and pulled it open. His lips detached from your neck in an instant and long, elegant fingers wrapped around your wrist, effectively stopping you from undressing him. 
His eyes were crystalline pools of skylight, airy and substantially quantified by the depths within them. They had a mirror-like quality and you could see yourself reflected in them as you held his gaze for a heartbeat too long. 
“Only if…this is something that we both want…”
Willy’s words of brevity filled you with wonder. 
“If I’m being honest with you, Willy…I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more than I want you now.” 
That single sentence melded with and fused into his soul. In a breath-to-breath admission of consent, your words had tied his tongue with cursive letters. 
He breathed a sigh of relief and held within that exhale was his own consent. You had granted him permission, assuring him that you were not offering yourself out of obligation or for complacency’s sake and that thrilled him perhaps as much as the act itself would. He felt the blood rush to his groin and he moved beneath you, shifting your body weight more onto his thigh. 
Willy nuzzled your cheek, dragging his nose along your soft skin. His arms had yet to unravel themselves from around you; he wanted to take his time. However, he was increasingly aware of his own sense of desperation. It had been some time since he had last gotten into bed with a lover. 
Actually, the last time he had gotten into bed with anyone was with you. 
Willy had a low sex drive, but on occasion it would crop up and remind him that he was, in fact, human and had needs, whether it was simple biology or heightened by the desire to connect with the one he loved. 
Whenever he thought of a lover and what had previously been just some nameless face at the forefront of his mind, that vision was now you. Yours was the love he sought; your hands were the ones meant to hold his heart. 
He let go of you and shrugged off his vest. 
Your lips captured his once again and he imagined this was what dreams tasted like. 
He went to stand up and you quickly took the hint and moved off his lap. He got up and began unbuttoning his white undershirt while you watched. He could see the fire burning in your irises, your pupils dilated with desire as you watched his delicate fingers pop open each button. 
You knew better than to rush him; a treat as sweet as him was meant to be savored. 
You took this opportunity to slip your own shirt off your body. With your skin exposed, his eyes traveled across your midsection and his fingers hesitated, fumbling the button he was on. His breath hitched and you swore you heard him whisper the word “beautiful” as he gazed upon you. 
Once he had recovered, the swiftness with which he finished removing his undershirt made your head spin. In his haste, he had forgotten to remove his bow tie and unbutton his sleeve cuffs, which made you giggle. He seemed flustered, his cheeks reddening once he realized, and perhaps this was the first time you had ever witnessed him with a blush on his cheeks. 
You reached out to help him and a soft chuckle dripped from his lips like maple syrup, “It would appear I’ve gotten a bit ahead of myself, my dear.”
You chuckled as well as his bow tie and undershirt were removed, “well, I’ll take it as a compliment…that you seem so eager to have me.”
Your words were spoken as if in jest, but his response was anything but. 
“Doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt that I love,” he quoted, his smooth baritone steeping you in the tea of his desire. (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)
It was enough to quiet your mind and when he said it, you felt your entire world get a little smaller. Your heightened senses had inflated your soul and carried you to the clouds. You were a runaway balloon stuck in a tree and his words were the hand that enclosed around your string. You had seen vast lands and known love in its many forms, but never until this moment had you felt so much in the presence of one. 
His heart knew yours better than it knew itself and the cracks left by heartbreak were filled in by your endless love for each other. 
You moved in to kiss him again and his hands cupped your warm cheeks. His breath tasted as sweet as the chocolate he made, which only made sense because of how often you saw him sampling it. He kept a bit in his coat that he’d pull out and nibble upon and often would you go sifting through his pockets for little treasures and treats that he had left over. Sometimes you found such delights that it had to have been no accident that they had been left behind. No, he knew your guilty pleasure was his chocolate and he made sure to satisfy your cravings, both for chocolate and for him, as often as possible.
Your tongue slipped inside his mouth and he finally graced your ears with a very delicate moan. 
His hands moved down the length of your arms to finally grab your hips. He pulled you in, your pelvis against his, and you could feel the hard press of his bulge against your thigh. 
While you kissed, he began to walk you backwards toward your shared bedroom. 
You could not have torn your lips apart to look where you were going even if you wanted to. 
You trusted him to get you there safely, perhaps more than you had ever trusted another person or at least you hadn’t trusted anyone this deeply in a very long time. Too many others had taken a hammer to your jawbreaker heart and smashed it to more manageably sized pieces, but once broken, it could never be put back together without its’ once-pristine surface now marred with jagged cracks. 
At least the breakage let the light of your soul pour out into his hands…
Willy was stained by your brokenness, his heart bruised the color of your trauma. 
He had been burned before, broken in a very real way, and therefore it was never a question of if you would trust him, but how much and when. He knew how long it could take a person to truly open up if they wanted to, but for you, he was willing to wait an eternity and then some. 
Time stood still and Willy had the presence of mind to remember how it felt to cradle your body to his when the only things that cemented your souls was an equal share of trust and love for one another and the mutual decision to take just one more chance. 
You sighed with relief when the backs of your knees connected with the mattress. 
Willy didn’t push you or press for more. His lips left yours in favor of your neck and several chaste yet sweet kisses were left along your collar bone as if his lips were asking for permission without the accompaniment of words. 
 In between you, you reached for his belt. 
He felt your fingers wrap around the waistband of his trousers and a gentle smirk crossed his features, “after something, are we?” 
His coy response made the tips of your ears get hot and you huffed, “well, it isn’t my fault that I’ve gone and gotten all excited…”
“I hope you’re not implying that it’s mine,” he replied as his smirk widened. 
“I wasn’t implying anything,” your time spent with him had sharpened your wit, “I’m saying it.”
His eyes shared in your mirth, twinkling with laughter at your response. He wrapped an arm around your lower back and pulled you in. With his cheek to yours, lips near your ear, he whispered, “shall we make use of your excitement, then, dear?”
You felt a shudder run down your spine as he spoke to you, the dulcet undertones of his honeyed voice pierced you like a knife through the delicate flesh of an orange. You wanted to sink your fingers into his heart and peel it apart to devour the pieces, sustaining yourself on his love. 
You nodded and he deemed it appropriate to continue. He gently pushed your hands from his belt and took on the task himself. He pulled it from the loops and laid it on the chair nearest to him. 
When he turned back to you, you were already removing your pants. He smiled to himself, stopping in his tracks to admire you as you undressed. He almost wanted to help you, but held himself back. Mutual trust came at a price and he would not want to overstep any unspoken boundaries. You had not explicitly told him not to help, but you hadn’t told him to do it either and so he decided it was best to let you indicate what you wanted from him and how comfortable you were with the situation. 
Neither you nor he were particularly trusting individuals. Your experiences with people who took advantage of others made you wary and skeptical, through no fault of your own. Maturity and wisdom came with age and while you had both grown and learned, you had built walls around yourselves both figuratively and literally, in Wonka’s case, to guard your hearts and protect them. 
Now, you were bearing your souls to each other.
It was an unlikely thing, but you were both ready. You had known Wonka for a long time now and you had no doubt that you and he were meant to be in each other’s lives. There was a reason that you were here. Even though you might have needed a bit of reassurance from time to time, it was never because you truly thought he might leave you. Giving word to that unreasonable fear set you free, because in your heart of hearts you realized that you were not afraid at all. 
You were lonely.
You had forced it down for years, but acknowledging it now was cathartic, because never again would you find yourself isolated like you had so many years before. 
Willy was no stranger to isolation either. Though he had reasons other than your own, he empathized. 
It was difficult, at times, for the two of you to find a rhythm. Both of you had been alone for so long that it took time to become acclimated to sharing your lives with each other, but in this moment you both knew that there was no person you would each rather share a life with than each other. 
Willy was never at risk of pulling away. He was simply learning how to love you. 
As soon as you pushed off your pants and stepped out of them, he was kissing you again. In a flourish of limbs and bare skin, you fell backwards onto the mattress with him. His hot lips descended over yours as his fingers linked into the spaces between your own. In all ways except for one, your two bodies were unified and, if either of you could help it, that would soon be remedied. 
The mattress dipped and shifted beneath your shared weight as Willy crawled on top of you. You held his hands for as long as you were capable of doing before you needed to feel him more solidly at your fingertips. You dropped his hand, grabbed his shoulder and dug in your nails to hear him hiss into your ear and nip at your neck. 
He couldn’t even finish undressing because you demanded every ounce of his attention. 
Your spirits were engaged in this battle of carnality and you had consumed him, corrupted his mind and possessed him body and soul, but all’s fair in love and war, both of which you had waged fervently on his senses. 
At risk of ruining the moment, he pulled away and got up to finish removing his trousers. Your chest heaved as you took a moment to catch your breath, propping yourself up on one arm. 
“And here I thought…we were just getting to the good part,” I quipped. A teasing smile bloomed on my face as he turned to look down at me. 
“And I thought you liked my kisses,” He replied without missing a beat. 
His lopsided grin made you giggle, but the sound of his zipper being pulled down tore your attention away from the witty banter. The fire of fierce need had begun to burn bright inside your belly once again after being extinguished to mere embers only seconds ago. 
You watched him kick off his trousers and make no move to pick them up.
He moved back down onto the bed and leaned into you. You met him halfway and pecked a chaste kiss onto his lips. Your bodies fit together like two immaculately chiseled sculptures whose delicate features appeared to be made of something much softer than stone. 
You knew what he wanted from you now and you felt goosebumps rising on your flesh as you anticipated his caress. 
He cupped your head, holding you to him as he lowered you back against the pillows. He liked to take charge of this part himself and you let him, despite the anxiety you felt at relinquishing control over yourself. You didn’t like feeling out of control, especially of your body and Willy knew this. He tried his best to make you feel comfortable and safe, never moving forward without verbal consent. 
“Shall I touch you, dear?” 
You reflected on his question before you nodded, swallowing thickly before you could make a sound, “yes.” 
You knew that he would check in with you frequently to make certain you still wished to continue. 
With your consent, his fingertips grazed the length of your arms. His warm touch sent pleasant shivers through you and you fought the urge to arch into him. He had a way of making you feel everything he wanted you to feel with just one touch. It was like magic, the control he had over your body and sometimes you wondered if his creative abilities branched into other realms as well. 
His hands slid down your sides, massaging your warm skin and admiring your supple curves, the angles and indentations of your hips. Before he traveled lower, Willy wanted to devote some appreciation to the rest of your body first. His hands moved to your back, working underneath you to swiftly unclip your bra. He had a way of doing things so fast that you barely had time to register what he was doing before it was done. Perhaps it didn’t seem possible, but impossibility did not exist where Willy Wonka came from; if there was a way to do the impossible, he had already figured it out and told no one. 
With your unclasped bra no longer pulled taut, he delicately pushed the straps off your shoulders and plucked the hindersome piece of fabric away from your chest. It dropped unceremoniously to the floor and his blue eyes glittered with mischief when he looked upon your exposed breasts. 
You wanted to cover them, but he held your arms at your sides. True to the creative genius he was, he had to admire beauty where and when he saw it and you were a masterpiece. His tight smile had relaxed as he gazed down at you beneath him and he practically cooed with appreciation for your form. 
“You’re very beautiful,” he whispered heatedly, like it was almost difficult for him to get the words out. He was overwhelmed with all his attention focused on the body before him. 
You wanted to thank him for the compliment, but all that came out was a soft squeak. 
He chuckled at your little sound and bent his head. He placed a firm kiss on your left breast and you sighed in pleasure at the gentle touch of his plush lips on your pillowy skin. His lips traced the curves of your breasts before encircling one of your nipples, suckling lightly as if it were a piece of candy. 
You mewled and arched into his mouth, desiring more from him and as quickly as possible, but Willy liked to take his time with you. He never left you unsatisfied, but you could expect nothing to be fast paced. 
His fingers wrapped around your hips to hold you in place as he moved to your other breast and did the same thing. His hot tongue teased your candy pieces to hardness and he hummed his appreciation, sending waves of pleasure down to your core. 
You squirmed in his grasp and whimpered pathetically, “please, Willy,” you begged him, “I want you now.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll have me, dear,” he reassured you, his thumbs rubbing placatingly against your hips, “when I’m ready for you to.” 
His teasing remark made you huff in irritation until his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your cotton panties and paused you in your tracks. 
You whined as his fingers barely breached the fabric barrier before he removed them. His hands moved to your inner thighs and spread your legs apart for him to nestle in between them. 
All you could do was watch as he leaned closer and pressed a kiss to your navel, just below your belly button. His kisses traveled lower and lower down your pelvis to your pubic bone and finally to your core. You writhed in pleasure when his mouth found its way to where you wanted it, but your panties were still in the way and you groaned with frustration. 
Heat emanated from your core due to your arousal and the crotch of your panties were damp with your wetness. 
Your head dropped back against the pillow as he used the tip of his nose to brush lightly against your clit through your panties. 
You were so pliant to his will and responsive to his touch that he almost felt powerful. If it had been anyone other than him, he would have, but all he felt in this moment was an overwhelming feeling of love. The fact that he could give you a comfortable experience of vulnerability and pleasure perhaps did enflame his ego a bit, but he loved you even more for it. To see you enjoying yourself because of him was almost too much for him to handle and he could feel his cock swell to attention. 
He placed a couple of open-mouthed kisses to the crotch of your panties before he dragged them down your legs. He would have liked to tease you more, but he was already beginning to lose patience and he didn’t want to rush through too quickly. 
With your panties removed, he could admire your glistening folds and the sweet juices that had dribbled out of you. His mouth watered as he delved in for a taste, his tongue tentatively flickering against your opening. 
You let out a cry and bucked your hips, desperate for him to fill you. You needed friction and fullness to achieve release and Willy knew you couldn’t get either of those things without his compliance. He smirked at that and lowered his head between your thighs. 
Your hot core pulsed as more of your honey leaked onto his tongue. He moaned in satisfaction, savoring the taste of your sweetness and the delicious sounds you were making for him. He had never tasted anything this sweet except for his chocolate and if he could have only one of those two things right now he would have picked you without a second thought. 
It was almost too much for him to pull his mouth away, but he knew that he must if he were to indulge in the ultimate act of pleasure with you. You both wanted that more than you wanted air to breathe. A greater craving than candy, your existing love and soul connection a stronger aphrodisiac than chocolate. 
With a final flick of his tongue against your clit, he dragged his mouth off you. You whimpered at the loss, but in the back of your lust-flavored cotton candy mind you knew that your shared night of pleasure was just beginning. 
He got off the bed again and opened the nightstand drawer. He withdrew a small tinfoil packet and a small clear bottle of lubricant. 
You were still sprawled out on the mattress, your hair a halo around your head. The darkened room made it difficult to see what he was doing, but your eyes had adjusted enough for you to see movement.  
You felt eyes on you and before you glanced up from the object he was holding, his voice broke the silence, “are you comfortable continuing?”
Driven by lust and lover’s greed, you nodded your consent. Willy did not respond at first, waiting on your actual acknowledgement and proper agreement. Your voice was shaky as you replied to him, but you knew what you wanted and were certain in your response, “yes. I want this. I want you, Willy.”
The sincerity in your voice convinced him and he tore open the condom wrapper. 
Excitement thrilled you and coursed through your veins, carried into your heart by blood. Your body was singing with sensation as you wanted nothing more than his solid body atop you, his hard length buried in your tight heat. 
You watched him with barely-concealed enthusiasm – well, perhaps the only concealment was from the darkness in the bedroom – as he took off his underwear and rolled the condom on. He then squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and coated his cock. 
You could hear him jerking himself off and the obscenely slick sounds from the generous amount of lube. He had yet to give himself any physical stimulation up until this point and you were eager to repay the favor. 
In the dark, your reached for him and he came to you, ready to meld together and fill you full of himself. 
He positioned himself on top and guided your legs around his hips. He propped himself up with one forearm flat against the mattress so that he wouldn’t rest his entire body weight on you and the other guided his condom-covered tip to your entrance. 
He gave your forehead a tender kiss as he pressed in. Your lips parted at your sharp intake of breath and your muscles tightened and seized around him. Willy kissed your face, calming you and keeping you still and relaxed until he bottomed out. 
He nuzzled against your cheek and moved his free arm behind you to cradle your head. 
You tilted your head back and captured his lips. The two of you kissed lazily for several moments as your bodies adjusted to one another. Your walls twitched around his cock, sending jolts of electricity down to his toes, into the pit of his stomach and behind his eyes. Everything felt fuzzy and seemed out of focus except for you. 
The one thing that was clear to him was his love for you and the appreciation he had for you being a part of his life. If he could not trust a single soul with his legacy, he knew that he could trust you with himself and that was more than enough. 
For once, nothing made you question Willy Wonka; his intentions were clear.
Your fears were just that: fear. It was irrational and based on nothing of consequence. However, the very fact that you were afraid let you and he both know how much you cared. 
You would never take Willy, and he would never take you, for granted. 
He would reassure you that though he was not used to sharing his world with another, that you were his world now and you would share in every aspect with him and reap the rewards of a unique and whimsical life with perhaps the greatest chocolatier who ever lived. 
Take out all the fantasy and spectacle and you were left with only love and imagination. 
All these people thought the most fantastical thing about Willy Wonka were his creations, but what took your breath away, and had since the beginning, was the man behind those creations.
 You had fallen in love with him as much as you had with his brain and his intellect, his body, his soul. You wanted to dip your fingers into him like if he were made of melted chocolate. You would lick the essence of his existence off your fingertips to taste his candy-coated soul and sugared thoughts. There were not many candies or chocolates of the Wonka brand that you hadn’t tried, but none were sweeter than the man himself. 
If he existed only in your mind, then your mind was alive with the thought of him. 
All too soon, your thoughts abandoned you as you felt him begin to move. 
He slowly pulled out, angled his hips and pushed back in. 
The sudden movement jarred your body and you clung to him tighter. 
As he began to set a pace, you rolled your hips down onto him each time that he pushed in. This seemed to please him, witnessing you thrusting with him, your bodies moving in unison toward a shared release and reciprocation of pleasure. 
He grunted softly in your ear with the effort of thrusting into you. His soft curls tickled your cheek and you bit back a giggle. A particularly rough thrust ripped the sound from your throat and you laughed aloud. 
His brows furrowed in amusement at your laughter, but he grinned with you nonetheless. 
His thrusts became harsher, deepening as you adjusted and conformed to the rhythm and pace he set that was creating a delicious friction between your legs. You moaned shamelessly into his ear and he thrusted harder, encouraged by the sinful sounds you were making. 
Willy kissed you, his lips feverishly moved against yours as he held you in his embrace and your skin blazed with red hot fervor. A thin sheen of sweat clung to your bodies and you could feel the heat rolled off him in waves. Sweat beaded on his upper lip, but it didn’t bother you as you kissed him harder, demanding more intensity out of your shared intimacy. Your core pulsed, muscles gripping and clenching tightly around his cock. 
Your moans began to take on a higher pitch the closer you got to your release. Willy could tell that you were close now and he was eager to send you over the edge. Sex was, at least for him, about mutual enjoyment and gratification, not domination, exploitation or manipulation. It was about individuals who loved each other enough to put aside their individuality and become one, just for a moment of bliss. 
His forehead pressed against yours as he thrusted into you harder than before, his pace becoming erratic the closer he came to his own release. 
As he panted, you felt his breath fan across your face and he smelled of chocolate.
You balanced on the edge of oblivion as your feverish coupling would soon send you into orgasm. 
After a few more hard thrusts, Willy slipped a hand between your legs and gently rubbed your clit. Your release seized you, your body shaking violently with hurricane force winds of equal parts pleasure and zest. It was as if the air had been knocked out of you and you were falling down into his waiting arms. Ecstasy radiated from your core, carried in waves throughout your body. 
You were alone with your pleasure, waiting on your lover to join you in the afterglow. 
You cried out his name as he thrusted into you through your orgasm. He lasted several moments after you came before he released, filling the condom with several hot bursts of his seed. 
He had just enough strength left in his body to pull out and collapse beside you. His harsh panting soon turned to gentle sighs as his heartrate decreased and his body cooled. His strawberry blonde curls were plastered to his forehead with sweat and were sticking out at wild angles except for the top which was always a bit flattened from the way he wore his hat. 
You reached out and petted his frizzy hair, your fingers delicately massaging his scalp. He let out a quiet little moan and you smiled at him. 
With a deep inhale, he sat up and peeled the sticky condom off his softening prick. He tied it up and tossed it in the wastebin, then snatched his underwear off the ground. He picked yours up as well and handed them to you for you to slip on. 
You got off the bed and put your panties back on, then crossed the room to the bathroom. A few moments later, when you returned after you had cleaned yourself up, you found him lying in bed waiting for you. 
He smiled at you as you approached and extended an arm out to let you curl into his side as you got back on the bed with him. He already had a blanket laid out to pull across your nude bodies so that you could cuddle in modesty and without getting a chill. 
He looked down to watch you settle in and you met his gaze for a moment, appreciating his features. His gorgeous blue eyes were like pools of galaxy speckled with stars. His aquiline nose, which most people thought was too big for his face, looked proportionate in your opinion and beautiful just the same. He had the softest features of any man you had ever seen, slightly chubby cheeks, a round face and curved jawline. He was exquisite in every sense of the word and just looking at him made you fall more deeply in love. 
As attractive as he was to you, his personality spoke to yours in a language only the two of you spoke fluently. 
His appreciation for literature and culture was unique and inspiring and, because it tied in with your own, you learned a lot from each other. His quick wit and casual snide remarks that often passed over other people’s heads made you laugh as though you were enjoying your own little joke with each other.  
During your private appreciation for this man, you concluded that you had no reason to ever think he might be pulling away from you. 
In surreal Willy Wonka fashion, he seemed to read your thoughts as he finally spoke, “I’d like to see you in the Inventing Room with me tomorrow. I want you to be as involved with the holiday busy season as I am.” 
He addressed your insecurities by offering a solution to the problem and your heart felt a bit lighter. He wanted you to be involved in his work so that you didn’t feel so isolated or lonely. He had promised to be more attentive and he intended to do just that, but you could offer him aid and visit him while he worked. True love was buoyed by compromise; you’d see to it that you did your part to keep your relationship strong. 
“Forgive me for not being as attentive as I should be,” he continued, “I’ve been so busy, not to excuse myself.”
“I understand,” you replied. 
He seemed surprised for a moment, as if he half-expected you to still be upset, “and it isn’t entirely your fault. I should come around more if I’m missing you. We’ll find a solution. We have time.” Willy put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close so he could kiss your head, “time is a precious thing, my dear. Never waste it.”
Between his words, you heard what he was not saying. 
And while he had a point, what you did have was now. 
You could agree just to exist for a moment, sharing in the silence of the universe and listening to nothing but your dreams and the sounds of your hearts. 
You would fall into each other the same way that you fell in love: accidentally and achingly slow. 
One day you would both look up and see how far you had come, but for now, you still had a way to go. 
You knew his heart belonged to yours and that was enough to keep trying. Once the busy season calmed down and you had more time to focus on the two of you, you would ease into it like lovers were meant to, but right now you had an obligation to yourselves not to let the fear of failure drive you apart. 
It might seem fatalistic to ruin a relationship before it had run its course, but you’d seen it happen and the last thing you wanted was for that to be yours. 
You knew deep down that it wouldn’t happen. 
Your love was as strong as your imaginations were wild and no mind would ever dare dream the two of you apart. 
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toomuchracket · 6 months
Text
all i want for christmas (birthday party!matty x reader fluff)
back from the dead (a depressive episode) with a fluffy pre-dating fic that's honestly longer than it needs to be. whatever. it's christmas. this fic is also part of christmas75/twelve days of christmas, organised and curated by my lovely friend @abiiors. hope you all enjoy <3
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wednesday, 3:34am
as soon as the “email sent” pop-up appears, you feebly close your laptop and lay your head on the desk, ready to finally give in to the sleep that's been edging ever closer to your eyelids for the past hour. but before you get the chance, your phone buzzes with an incoming notification, the vibrations rattling through the wood of the desk and into your skull.
swearing, your voice scratchy with underuse, you open one eye and tilt the screen towards you - the name it bears above the unread text makes you shoot back up to a sitting position, and knocks all traces of grumpiness and tiredness from your brain and body.
matty.
pointedly ignoring the butterflies in your stomach when you see he's opened his message with hi, darling, you continue reading: hope you're alright, and that the new book isn't kicking your arse too much. saw a group of kids in barnes & noble raving about your last one earlier. would've joined them if i wasn't in a hurry, to be honest. fucking brilliant. anyway, i know it's late, but i had to text you before i forgot. can you give me a call when you get this, darling? flying home early tomorrow so i'll be up from about… 8am your time? i've got a favour to ask you. nothing crazy, though, and nothing urgent. but yeah, just phone me when you can. thanks, darling. miss you, talk to you soon. bye! X
just as you're reeling from the three darlings and the kiss and the miss you, another text from your best friend comes in, accompanied by a photo: also look at who you were next to on this display. i got so excited. my three favourites!
you laugh out loud, a combination of shock at the fact your collection is between slouching towards bethlehem and consider the lobster and adoration at matty's beaming face next to it all. fuck, he's cute.
so cute. enough for you to forget that it’s 3 o'clock in the morning, and happily pick up your phone and dial his number - you've spent so much time poring over your message threads that you know it off by heart - as if it was mid-afternoon. you kick your legs back and forth as the call connects, smiling to yourself at the thought of hearing his voice for the first time in over a month.
luckily, you don't have long to wait; your heart flutters as he picks up on the second ring, voice thick in the way it only goes when he's smoking. “you know, you didn't have to call me right away, darling. thought you'd have been asleep. but hiya!”
“hi, matty,” you smile. “and come on, it's deadline week, of course my sleep schedule is fucked. questioning why i'm not asleep, christ, thought you knew me better than that.”
he takes your teasing in good faith. “i do, darling, i do know you,” matty's voice is soft, his tone as tender as you've ever heard it. it's driving you batshit insane. “but you know me. i just want to make sure you're not stressing yourself out about your work too much. rather have my best friend's wellbeing intact than another book, even though your writing is my favourite. speaking of, that display! i'm recreating it at home. genuinely. s'amazing.”
you can feel your cheeks burning. “i can't even comprehend that display right now, m'too tired. but i’ll text you my thoughts once they make sense. and i'm alright, matty, honest. please don't worry about me, lovely.”
“that'll never happen, and you know it.”
“god, you're obstinate. but thanks. i appreciate the care.”
“even when you're insulting me, you're so eloquent. you've got a gift,” matty laughs down the phone. “how's deadline week going, anyway?”
“it's done. just sent the final draft away for edits. s'why i'm still up, actually.”
“really? congrats, darling!” the genuine happiness in his tone makes your heart hurt. “god, i wish i was home now, so we could go out and celebrate.”
“me too. but we'll see each other this weekend for early christmas dinner, yeah?”
“that's what i wanted to talk to you about, actually. you know those roast potatoes you made last year?”
“you mean the ones you and alexa fought over the last spoonful of?” you laugh, remembering the two of them racing to the tiny kitchen in your flat to try and nab them.
“m'still fucking fuming that she got them. bitch,” matty grumbles, then giggles. “nah, she's like my sister, i love her. but yeah, those potatoes. can i have the recipe for them, please?”
you suck air in through your teeth. “well… no. that’s a family secret, lovely. m'sorry.”
“oh,” matty sounds so genuinely deflated that you could cry - you seldom see him upset, but the thought of his pretty face all sad makes you feel incredibly guilty. “that's alright, darling, i understand. my nana was the same with her soup recipes. you'd have to marry me if you wanted them.”
you hum out a laugh, brain suddenly scrambled at the thought of walking down the aisle towards him. god. get a grip! 
scrunching your eyes closed and blinking them open again - a tried and tested way to stop yourself going off on tangents - an idea pops into your head, so obvious that you’re not sure why you haven't suggested it already. “well, in lieu of us getting hitched within the next week,” you smile, enjoying the way matty laughs softly at the other end of the line. “i could come over early to yours and make the potatoes for you, if you'd like?”
“i quite like the sound of the first option, to be honest…”
what the fuck?! you have to clap a hand over your mouth to stop a gasp. or a scream. perhaps even a moan.
“...but i'm more than happy with the second one. thank you, darling,” matty's smile is as audible as his relief. “you're a lifesaver and a legend. come over whenever on sunday, yeah? wake me up if you have to. actually, no, i'll pick you up. s'the least i could do to thank you. and it means we get to spend even more time together.”
“that sounds nice,” you all but sigh into your phone. “i'm excited to see everyone.”
mostly you, though.
“as am i, darling,” matty yawns. it's the cutest sound you've ever heard. for fuck's sake. “m'not bored talking to you, honest, just tired. this is actually the most fun i've had in weeks, this phone call.”
you want to assume he's lying out of politeness, but something in your brain tells you he's being sincere; it's not like you can say anything to dispute him, either, given it's also the most fun you've had in weeks. “matty, you’re in new york. at christmas time.”
“yeah, alone! s'boring. macaulay culkin made it seem a lot more fun when i was a kid,” matty snorts. “plus, i saw you the last time i was here. any trip you're not on is just automatically a bad one.”
christ, what is with him today? “flatterer,” you smirk, before grimacing and continuing to talk. “but i assume you've not been… totally alone, the whole time? i don't like the thought of that being the case.”
you hope to god he's too tired to pick up on your actual meaning; the sight of him with another girl isn’t unfamiliar to you, but that isn’t to say you don't mind it. quite the opposite, in fact.
thank christ, he misses it. “no, i’ve been good. slept by myself every night,” he laughs.
you giggle, relieved. “really? wow.”
“why are you surprised at that?”
“you're you, matty.”
“yeah, well, i'm going through a metamorphosis-”
“kafkaesque of you.”
“knew that one was coming as soon as i said it,” matty sighs. “but in all seriousness, in the past couple of months, i've just… fully realised what i want in life, you know? and it's not what i used to want, or get up to.”
interesting. “well, that's good. m'happy for you, lovely.”
“yeah, thanks. and what about you, miss? you, um, bringing anyone to christmas dinner?”
you snort. “obvs not.”
matty hums. “why'd you say it like that?”
“like what?”
“like,” he pauses, trying to find the words. you can just picture the shape of his eyebrows as he does. “derisively. as if it's a silly question.”
“because it is a silly question, matty.”
“is it?”
“yeah,” you giggle. “i wouldn't even have time for a one night stand, let alone a relationship. not that there's anyone particularly interested, right now, anyway.”
“oh, there is,” comes the reply. “there really is.”
“if you say so.”
“believe me, darling, people want you. they're down bad. totally in love with you.”
“oh, you are so high right now, aren't you?”
“i mean, yeah. but i'm right!”
“uh huh,” you smirk. “i think you need your bed, matty.”
“pot, kettle.”
“alright, point taken,” you peel yourself off your chair, joints cracking slightly worryingly as you stand and pad across the flat to your room. “i'm going there now.”
matty sighs happily. “good. but send me a selfie as proof. accountability and all.”
it's an innocent enough ask, and not a totally unprecedented one - in the times where your self-neglect was at its worst, you would send matty and your other friends selfies so they could make sure you were alright - but the concept of sending matty a late-night pic from your bed does something quite odd to your brain and stomach.
still, you’ll oblige. but will he?
matty giggles when you ask him as much. “yeah, i'll send you one in return. i'm all about reciprocation, me.”
the words leave your mouth before you can stop them. “good to know.”
he laughs, that stupid hyena cackle of his that might be your favourite sound in the world. “christ, i've missed you.”
“it's reciprocated,” you smile, switching your phone between hands as you get into bed and hissing quietly at how cold the sheets are. “alright, i'm in my bed. and you should be too.”
“you're right, i should be,” matty says. his voice is lower than you've ever heard it, the rasp of his cigarettes prominent; despite yourself, it goes straight between your legs. “soon, though, darling. promise.”
“good,” your voice comes out breathier than expected, a setting you haven't used in some time. “i think we both need it.”
“yeah, i think we do, too,” matty yawns again, following it up with a sigh. “right. i'm going to hang up now, darling. i really don't want to, but i feel like if i don't then one of us is gonna fall asleep before we can exchange pics. and i can't be having that, honestly. miss looking at you.”
you giggle, rolling onto your stomach and kicking your legs back and forth. jesus christ, what is this man doing to you? “don't get too excited, i look like shit.”
well, you've looked worse lately - you at least showered and clipped your hair up and put on a clean outfit today. but still, far less glamorous than matty's used to.
or not - “i've literally held your hair back while you yoshed in a plant pot, darling, i think you're alright.”
“and on that note, let's wrap it up,” you laugh, rolling back to lie down. “what time should i be ready for on sunday?”
“oh, um… half twelve? that should be enough time to get everything sorted.”
“half twelve it is,” you yawn. “ok. bedtime. have a safe flight, lovely. talk soon?”
“‘course. don't forget that selfie, by the way. eagerly awaiting it.”
“et toi. lots of love, see you soon.”
“back at you, darling. goodnight.”
the call ends. you close your eyes and, for the briefest of moments, let yourself dwell on the fact your best friend - who, let's be honest, you have a bit of a crush on - shamelessly flirted with you to the point of bordering on phone sex, and let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance he might feel the same way you do.
but it's matty. sweet, cheeky, affectionate matty, who'd find a way to flirt with a brick wall if he was bored enough. because that's what he is, really - bored, high, alone on a phone call with a girl late at night. it's just a natural thing for him to do in those circumstances. you're not special, you were just… there.
that notion stings more than you expected. but you persevere, opening your camera and fixing your glasses. he's your best friend, after all, and he asked you to do this to make sure you were alright. nothing more than that.
still, as you close your eyes and smile, you hold the phone with both hands so your boobs push ever so slightly more together. just in case. then you caption the pic as requested, and hit send.
matty’s reply buzzes in a few seconds later, eliciting a shocked giggle from your lips: fucking love it when you wear your glasses. a follow-up appears in another few seconds: if that's you looking like shit… you're defo the sexiest bit of shit i've ever seen.
fuck him for getting you flustered like this. honestly, fuck him.
and, oh, when he sends a selfie in return, shirtless in low light, hair in its natural state, one hand behind his head… don't you want to do just that?
you bite your lip as you compose your response: my condolences to the single girls in nyc who are missing out on you looking like that tonight.
matty: i know, poor them lol. but their loss is one specific single girl in london’s gain, though, yeah?
you: fuck yeah
matty: you crack me up
matty: miss you sm
matty: anyway, sweet dreams. see you in them, i hope
matty: but see you irl on sunday lol xx
you: miss you too, lovely. goodnight xx
***
sunday, 12:56pm
a mass of black fur rams into your legs as soon as you step through matty's front door. you laugh, dropping your bags and crouching to pet an over-excited mayhem, while matty grumbles behind you. “at least let her get in the house, mayhem, christ!”
“don't listen to him,” you coo at the dog, nuzzling into you quite adorably. “i'm just as happy to see you as you are to see me, baby. got a present for you and everything.”
“you did not buy the dog a christmas present,” matty groans, gently pulling the coat from your shoulders.
“of course i did. got you one as well.”
“thought we agreed we weren't doing presents this year?”
“well, i'm a dirty liar,” you brush down your dress and turn to face matty, smiling. “that, and i saw something when i was in glasgow that i couldn't resist getting you.”
matty's eyes widen near-imperceptibly as he takes in the dark red fabric clinging to you like a second skin, raking up and down your body almost too quickly for you to clock. 
almost. you bite back a smirk. got him!
much to your chagrin, though, he recovers quickly and turns the tables. “well, it's difficult to keep control when you see something… attractive,” he murmurs, gaze lifting to meet yours. “i like that dress, darling, you look gorgeous. and,” his tone and face brighten. “i actually got you a gift, too.”
the revelation is just as shocking as the way he looked at you is. “you did?”
“we're both dirty liars, it seems,” matty grins. he nods towards the kitchen. “make yourself comfortable in there, darling, and i'll go and get it. only be two minutes, promise, and then i'll help you find whatever you need, yeah?”
“you've not done a mad rearranging of your kitchen cupboards since the last time we all came over for dinner, have you?”
“nah.”
you wave nonchalantly. “then i'm good, i know where everything i need is.”
matty smiles down at you - there's an expression in his eyes that you can't quite name - and gently nudges you down the hall. his hand is light against your back, but it sends shockwaves through your nervous system regardless. “alright. give me a shout if you need anything, though, please.”
“i will, lovely,” you smile back just as sweetly. “want me to put some christmas music on? get into the festive spirit and all?”
“anything but band aid.”
you laugh, and matty joins in. “i was thinking more sinatra, anyway.”
“perfect.”
and that's exactly how he'd describe the scene in the kitchen he walks into thirty minutes later. the room is warm, made cosy by the oven that's been slow-cooking turkey for a little while now, soundtracked by frank crooning out have yourself a merry little christmas. mayhem snoozes in his bed by the massive window, which shows snow dusting over the garden like icing sugar on a cake, and then there's you. still keeping an eye on the potatoes bubbling on the hob, you sway gently to the music as you pour dried spices and seasonings into a bowl, your face as content as matty feels.
it breaks into a big smile when you see him in the doorway, white dress shirt hugging his chest quite deliciously. “oh! you got changed. i like it.”
“had to keep up with you, didn't i?” matty smiles, wandering into the room and laying a gift bag on the counter. he peers into the pan of potatoes. “thank you for doing this, by the way, darling. means a lot.”
he opens his arms, and you slot into them before they wrap around you tightly, resting your chin on matty's shoulder and smiling. “no one else i'd do it for.”
matty hums happily. “god, i've missed you. you're always a total peach to me. makes me feel good.”
“a peach? you've spent too much time stateside, matty,” you giggle, pulling away just enough to look at him. “thank god you're home for a bit. but thank you, lovely, i'll take the compliment.”
“for once, you'll take one,” matty teases. his face turns slightly more solemn. “yeah, m'glad to be home. it's a shame you won't be at any of the UK shows, though. i always like them more when you're there.”
“well, when hollywood calls, you have to answer,” you shrug, then smirk. “you just want me at the shows so i'll praise your narrative structuring again, don't you?”
matty's eyes close in bliss. “don’t tease, you literally barrelling towards me backstage screaming about midpoints and how proud of me you were is genuinely the best thing that's ever happened to me.”
“oh, shush,” you roll your eyes, suddenly shy.
“i'm serious! it'd be like joan telling you she thought one of your sentences had perfect structure. a writing compliment from you is a gift, darling.”
“well… thank you. and speaking of gifts,” you - with great reluctance - pull away from matty, bending down to grab a wrapped box from your bag. “here. joyeux noël.”
your best friend takes the present from you, murmuring a “thank you” and smiling at the tag addressed to him. he holds it to his ear and shakes the box, eyebrows raising at the slight rattle.
sighing, you roll your eyes. “just open it, matty.”
his face lights up. “alright.”
after carefully peeling the tag from the box and placing it in his pocket, matty tears through the paper and lifts the lid off. he squints at the sides of the smaller plastic boxes inside, before realisation hits and his jaw drops. “this is…”
“cassette recordings of ten blue nile gigs throughout the eighties and nineties, in their entirety,” you finish, smiling. “thought you'd like them.”
“like them? darling, this is- i don't even know what to say, other than thank you,” matty looks at you, awed, and pulls you into another tight hug. “how the fuck did you manage to get them?”
“the guy in one of the record shops i went into in glasgow was selling them. they're his recordings,” you say, half into matty’s neck. “and he'd digitised them, so he didn't need the tapes anymore, and he wanted them to go to someone who'd genuinely use them. remembered you saying you'd bought a tape deck, and i know how much you love that band, so… i kinda had to buy them.”
matty turns his head and presses a kiss onto your temple; while you bite the inside of your cheek to keep from screaming in delight, he speaks again. “you really are one of the best people i know. christ, i'm so overwhelmed by how perfect that present is. i need a drink,” he pulls away and heads to the fridge. “d’you fancy some champagne, darling, before i give you your gift? you might need it, actually.”
“that's not ominous at all,” you quip, then nod. “pour me a glass while i sort the potatoes and get them in the oven, please.”
matty nods, pulling out a bottle of perrier and grabbing glasses to take over to the table, while you drain and pat-dry the potatoes. he hums along to the background music while he fiddles around with the foil covering the champagne cork; you smile, eyes flicking up periodically to look at his cutely confused face, then back down to the food you're currently buttering and seasoning. it's incredibly domestic, a cosy little christmas dinner tableau, so much so that it hurts your heart to think that life isn't always like this for you and matty. and mayhem, obvs, curled up so adorably in his bed that you have to resist awwwwing every time you look at him.
still, it's hard to be melancholy when matty's irritation at the bottle foil is so amusing. you giggle at his grumbling, turning around to look at him scowl once the potatoes are safely in the oven. “need a hand?”
“no thanks, darling, i'm- ok, yeah, please,” matty sighs, leaning back in his chair and stretching. you pretend not to notice the way his shirt rides up and exposes his hip tattoo. “can't find the tab on the foil.”
“hmm, let me see,” you wander to the table and sit beside matty, moving your chair closer to him. well, to the bottle. “ah - that's because there isn't one.”
“well that's fucking stupid. how are you meant to open it?”
you smile, swiping your index nail across the foil; it slices clean through, and you're able to peel the covering off the cork. “like that. these aren't just for aesthetic purposes, you know.”
“that was actually quite hot. let me see them?” matty gently takes your hand in both of his own, admiring the abstract line pattern on your fingernails, tenderly rubbing his thumbs over the gel. “yeah, definitely hot. let me open the champagne from here though, darling, yeah? can't risk these pretty nails being damaged.”
you bite the inside of your cheek again; this time, to stop from giggling flirtily. “have at it, lovely.”
“i like it when you call me that,” matty smiles, grabbing the neck of the bottle in one hand and the cork in the other, and slowly twisting. “makes me feel good.”
“well, you are lovely,” you smile back. “and opening that champagne quite effectively, i must say.”
“learnt from the best,” matty winks. “you're right, though, it's a lot less messy. although i don't mind that, sometimes. s'fun.”
“yeah, me too,” you smirk, glad to be sitting down and not having to worry about your legs caving in at matty and his words. “kinda fun getting it all over your hand, isn't it?”
matty's eyes widen again, and the cork breaks free with a loud pop; before either of you can cringe at or make light of it, though, mayhem jolts awake with a yelp at the sound, and quickly runs over to sit at your feet. 
you coo at him, reaching down to scratch his sweet head and reassure him (and berate his dad). “aww, mayhem. you scared the baby, matty! look at him, he's terrified! s'ok, sweetheart, i'll keep you safe. come on, you can have your christmas present to cheer you up.”
matty rolls his eyes, but he can't keep the smile from his face as he watches his dog eagerly follow you to your bag. “you know, mayhem, you're such a sap, honestly.”
“oi, don't talk about my friend like that,” you frown, face lighting up as you find what you're looking for in your bag. “aha! here you go, mayhem. merry christmas.”
the dog takes the guitar-shaped dog toy with relish, plodding back over to his bed and playing with it contentedly. matty leans to the side to look at mayhem's gift, bursting into laughter when he sees it. “fucking brilliant. that'll be his new favourite, by the way. but you're his favourite, so it checks out, i s'pose.”
“really?”
“oh, he loves you. he never gets so excited to see anyone else,” matty nods, pouring champagne and sliding a glass to you. “bet he'd enjoy seeing more of you. as would i, actually - i really like spending time with you, darling.”
you nod, touched. “so do i,” you raise a glass. “to seeing more of each other next year.”
matty clinks his glass off yours, repeating your words with a soft smile. you take a sip of your respective drinks, humming in satisfaction as the champagne hits your lips. you nod again as you swallow. “christ, that's good.”
“agreed. and now that we've had a drink,” matty puts his glass down, then leans back in his chair and reaches to grab your gift from the counter. he presents it to you with a grin. “merry christmas, darling. save the box til last, yeah?”
“ok. thank you,” you smile sheepishly, opening the bag and pulling out its contents: a notebook, with a pen tucked into the front cover, a book, and a thin, a4-size box. laying them on the table, you inspect each facet of the present in turn, starting with the notebook. “a parker pen? matty, this is beautiful.”
“that one's also kinda a congratulations gift for getting your manuscript in. there's a little message on the inside, too,” comes his reply. 
you flick your gaze up to find him blushing, and it makes you smile even wider. carefully, you lift open the black cover, and find matty's familiar scrawl on the inside: to my favourite writer… this is for the next one. lots of love, matty ♡. a little giggle leaves your lips, and you reach for your friend's hand to squeeze it. “you really are the loveliest, you know.”
“shhh, it's nothing,” matty softly rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. “the next bits are the good ones, really. m'excited to see you react to them.”
“better not keep you waiting, then,” you smile, reaching for the book; you let out a little cry of excitement when you read the title. “on beauty! i haven't read this since i was at uni, my god. thanks, matty, i can't believe you remembered me saying that! oh, this is amazing.”
“open it.”
your head shoots up. “what? why?”
matty smiles. “just do it, please.”
“alright,” you do as requested. when you see what’s on the title page, your jaw drops. “matthew…”
“oh, shit, the full name. am i in trouble?” matty quips, smirking as he takes another sip of champagne.
“no, no, just… you got zadie fucking smith to sign a book for me? with a personal message?” you all but sob, lip quivering, completely overcome. “she's telling me she loves my work? what the fuck?”
“well, she's got good taste.”
“matty,” you wail. “this is the best gift i've ever been given.”
matty giggles. “no it isn't.”
“i'm telling you, it really is.”
“nah,” matty gently tugs the book from your hands and replaces it with the box. “this might be, though. but you need to stop crying before you open it, though, darling. can i just…?”
tenderly, so tenderly, matty takes your face in his hands and uses his thumbs to carefully wipe the tears pooling on your lower lashline. at his touch alone, your breathing starts to regulate; the same can't be said for your heart or brain, which both go haywire at the intimacy of his actions, something not helped by him whispering reassuringly to you. “there you are, darling. you're alright.”
it's not a question, but you nod anyway. “thank you.”
“anytime,” matty lets go of your face and sits back; you miss him as soon as he lets go. “right. now you can open it.”
with a smile, you lift the lid from the box - it falters, though, as soon as you take in the words on the paper in front of you. “these are outlines.”
“yeah, they are. look closer, darling.”
you squint at the paper, a choked noise escaping your lips. “feel free… fuck off. zadie gave you her essay notes?!”
“she did. and told me to give them to you.”
“how?”
“well,” matty grins, shuffling in his seat. “i went to see her and nick while i was in new york, and i asked her to sign the book while i was there. when she found out it was for you… she insisted you have those. printed more off for me and everything. she thinks you're the shit, darling.”
“you're sure she didn't say i was shit?” you hiccup, sliding the box onto the table before your tears hit the paper and picking up your glass for a long drink.
“positive. she only had lovely things to say about you,” matty takes your glass and refills it, beaming at you. “so, yeah. bit of a weird present, i know, but i knew you'd appreciate it.”
you laugh through your tears, wiping your eyes and shuffling your chair next to matty's to hug him. “i really do. and i appreciate you even more. thank you, lovely, you're too good to me.”
“nah, you deserve the best, darling,” matty’s hand comes up to rest on the back of your hair, stroking it gently.
you wallow in the tender moment for a second, before pulling back to smile at him. “m'sorry for crying, christ.”
he shakes his head. “don't worry about it, s'cute. and you still look fit when you cry, so…”
“shut up,” you laugh, shoving his shoulder.
“really, you look perfect,” matty smiles, eyes soft. “m'glad you came over early today. not just because it means we get the good potatoes, but because we get to do this, have a bit of peace before everyone gets here. s'nice. really nice.”
you nod. “it is. thanks for having me. and for the gift.”
he kisses your hand. “anytime. thank you for my gift. and just for being you, i s'pose.”
“it's like you want me to keep crying.”
“well, like i said, you look fit,” matty grins. “but nah, i'll stop. let's have a nice time and get rid of this champagne before everyone else gets here, yeah?”
“sounds like a plan.”
so that's what you do - sit at matty's kitchen table, drinking champagne and watching mayhem playing with his new toy, talking and laughing with your best friend. outside, the snow falls faster and faster, blanketing the garden in pristine white, but it's falling nowhere near as quickly as you are for matty. when the front door goes, you’re actually welcome for the excuse to leave the table, the kitchen, the intense care in those beautiful eyes that threatens to shatter your sanity and perspective.
it's your newly engaged friends, laden with more champagne and christmas crackers. once you've exchanged pleasantries, your friend sends her fiancé into the kitchen with the bags so she can interrogate you. “now why are you here so early? you're a little bit unsteady on your feet… oh my god, did you and matty fuck?”
“no! christ! and keep your fucking voice down,” you hiss, looking back down the hall to make sure the coast is clear. “i came over early to help with dinner. and we opened champagne. that's it.”
her eyes narrow. “but you want to fuck him, don't you?”
you open your mouth to answer, but pause for a split-second too long; she cuts back in again. “oh, you do! well, you should.”
“i don't just want to fuck him, babe,” you sigh, leaning against the cold concrete wall. your brain is screaming at you to shut up, but you can't. “i… like him. in a more-than-platonic way. like in a deep way.”
“so… tell him that.”
you blanch. “today?”
“yes! it's christmas. we've all seen love actually - it's the perfect time!” she quietly claps, beaming. “and you won't see him again until my birthday dinner, so if the revelation goes tits up… you've got two months to get over it.”
“really filling me with confidence here.”
“sorry,” she kisses your cheek. “i just like the thought of the two of you being happy, that's all.”
“i know, it's just-”
“darling?” matty wanders down the hall to you, pulling your friend into a welcoming hug, then turning to face you. “sorry to interrupt, but your timer is going off.”
“oh, thanks, lovely,” you smile at him. “be in in a minute, yeah?”
“alright. looking forward to it,” with a wink, he's gone again.
your friend smiles at him, then turns to you. “he is looking forward to you returning to the same room as him. how interesting!”
“yeah, because it means we all get the roast potatoes i made. that's it.”
“oh, you made those again? amazing,” she nods appreciatively, then looks at you and tilts her head. “he could still just be looking forward to being in close proximity to you again, though. wonder if there's any mistletoe around.”
“shut up, please, i am literally begging.”
she laughs, tucking you under her arm and walking to the kitchen. “alright, i'll leave it be tonight. but i'm just saying - i think you have to seriously consider that matty might want you under his christmas tree this month just as much as you want him under yours.”
“and i think you have to seriously consider that you might be delusional.”
“well, we'll soon find out, i'm sure.”
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queerfandomtrifecta · 8 months
Text
So a lot is bothering me about the narrative structure of season two. If I didn’t have my own novel to work on and didn’t have several more edits commissioned, I’d write a fix-it fic for all of season two to fix the narrative stuff and to really delve into character arcs that felt off. Maybe I will anyway. Idk. If someone who actually has time wants to take any or all of this and write a fic, go for it. Can’t wait to read it. Anyway, this is a very rough outline that’s subject to change if I do write the fic, but from a developmental editing perspective, here’s my two cents nobody asked for on season 2:
Thematic elements: Atonement and coping with trauma, the crew leaving (especially in regards to Stede’s emotional wound where he’s worried about people being better off without him) and identity (especially in regards to Ed/Stede/Izzy). These are present in the show as-is, but they don’t play out well just yet. I’m focusing on these to make things cohesive.
Episodes 1-3: mostly perfect. Loved these and the pacing felt correct for the most part. I would keep the tone from these episodes through the season. Ricky would be introduced here. Zheng is fantastic and all of her stuff stays here.
What I’d change: Ned Low would be the primary antagonist for this season. Ricky would be set up through this season to be the primary antagonist next season. Ned Low’s record is Ed’s original suicide by proxy plan, and that needs to be introduced here. There needs to be a scene showing how Ned tortures people in these episodes. Izzy needs to bring it up as a concern to Ed. Ed doesn’t care about the crew’s safety, obviously, someone (Izzy) needs to mention Ned’s record and possible repercussions here. I’d also NOT play Lucius’s trauma reveal with Stede like a comedy beat. (Like seriously, I HATE that the show played SA as a comedy beat.) Black Pete would be shown crying of Lucius so it’s not just told randomly after the fact. Olu would be shown missing Jim.
Episode 4: The unicorn thing with Izzy was beautiful and I’d keep that. Stede and Ed going to Mary and Anne’s is fine. Buttons can APPEAR to turn into a seagull.
What I’d change: The Kraken Crew and Lucius need to stay paranoid longer. They need to tally things up and realize that Low’s record has been broken (I think Ed was too checked out from reality/high on rhino horn to even realize he’d broken it; Izzy has bigger things going on and likely also lost track) but that record being broken was NEVER shown in the original, just told after the fact. In order to NOT switch to a speculative genre randomly for a convenient metaphor, Buttons appears to turn into a seagull but he doesn’t literally. Revealed to the audience but not to Ed/Stede (more on this later). Stede doesn’t put it to a vote that Ed can come back. He’s the captain and decides that that’s how it’s gonna be. The crew is also gonna look to former first-mate Frenchie (whose trauma is in a box) for direction when Izzy is struggling. It’s Frenchie’s idea about the leg. Izzy is still struggling a little more after his new leg, and I think he should be shown happy at the end but with a bottle of something not far from him (but more in that later).
Episode 5: Ed’s influencer non-apology clearly written by Stede works. Ed and Stede need time apart. The cursed suit can stay for the levity of it. Ed and Fang can go fishing. The moonlight kiss scene works for the most part.
What I’d change: Izzy can be sassy with Lucius, and a bit of a mentor to Stede, but he’s going to be drinking in this episode. Not plastered drunk like ep 4, but it’s gonna clearly be a struggle and everyone is just Not Talking About It. Lucius might start to parallel that a bit and I’d like to see more interaction with them there. I’d also like to see the Kraken Crew (all the crew really) treating Izzy as their captain. Stede says he doesn’t feel like the captain and there should be a reason for that. If he forced them to let Ed back on the boat in ep 4, that can be addressed here. Izzy is following Stede so he can eventually persuade everyone they have to as well, though Izzy’s earned more trust than anyone at this point. I’d delve into him doing for Stede what he did for Ed pre-season one (“massaged the crew” when Ed’s moods seemed off to keep things running (I can’t remember the exact quote past that, but that’s essentially the idea). The Kraken Crew needs to be wary of Ed longer. They do not believe Buttons is a seagull. They all think Ed killed him and Stede says he didn’t see Buttons turn into a seagull, but he takes Ed’s side and doesn’t think Ed killed him. That starts a rift and an “us or Ed” thing that’ll play out later. Ed can try to interact with the crew and get the cold shoulder. He’s done nothing to restore his reputation. As far as the cursed suit goes, I would have them receive some sort of warning from Ned Low when they go to pawn the suit off on the other ship. Stede or/or Izzy would keep it quiet from the crew, who are only just now starting to follow Stede as the captain. Ricky needs to be shown here wanting to end piracy, and interacting with Zheng. After the moonlight kiss, I’d have them holding hands as they walk off. I think maybe Lucius would want to leave the ship here. The Swede and Buttons are gone already, and it makes sense for Lucius to want to leave but Black Pete to want to stay. They’ll both still be on board here though.
Episode 6: Calypso’s Birthday will be the plot for 7/8.
What I’d change: let me preface this by saying I haven’t worked Zheng’s plot fixes out fully. But. If we’re moving this to the next two episodes, something has to happen here. I’d keep the bit with the guilt room and with Ed giving away treasure to the urchins saying don’t be pirates, but have him say more in front of Stede about how piracy is bad for specific reasons that Stede just doesn’t clock as Ed wanting to stop. I think the plot will be along the lines of Stede engaging in more piracy. Ed will quietly be struggling with the fact that Stede is becoming a more and more proficient pirate in his own way, Ed himself not wanting to pirate anymore, and his tentative new relationship with the captain of a ship he is definitely not wanted on by anyone other than Stede. Zheng needs to interact with Ricky here about him wanting to end piracy. Izzy is a good first mate here but he’s still drinking. Lucius may start to parallel that here. Former first mate Frenchie picks up the slack and falls into a leadership role when Izzy is struggling too much, and this is eventually gonna cause him to have to deal with his trauma that’s bottled up, when he has to talk to Izzy about clearly not handling his own. Eventually, things will come to a head with the crew not wanting Ed on board. It becomes an “us vs him” thing with the crew threatening to leave if Es doesn’t. Stede will try to smooth things over but Ed will interrupt and say don’t bother, he’s leaving. He doesn’t know who he is but at least fisherman would be better than pirate. Episode ends with Stede heartbroken and Ed going off to fish in something that isn’t his leathers, so he wouldn’t be recognizable from a distance. Low pinpoints Stede’s ship but doesn’t see Ed on it, and plans to bait him out by boarding and torturing the crew.
Episodes 7-8: Nope. I’d keep almost none of this.
What I’d change: This part is also still rough and I need to flesh it out a bit more, BUT: Calypso’s birthday would be episode 7. The crew would wanna party but also wanna cheer up their sulking captain. They’re glad Ed is gone. Izzy is a good first mate here but still drinking. He encourages the party to Stede who agrees. They’re spending Ed’s treasure that he’s left, turning the poison into positivity by getting rid of the bad memories the Kraken Crew has of obtaining it. Stede and Izzy bond a lot here. Ned Low does interrupt the party (I think maybe he’s also “working” with Ricky but not really, he has his own agenda) planning to bait Ed back. The scene in Stede’s quarters would be Izzy and Stede, not Ed and Stede. Once again the crew are suffering for Ed’s actions, and THAT is how Ed can atone for it. He can save them, probably with the help of Zheng who he’ll have met when he goes off to be a fisherman. So there’s some camaraderie going there. Also, with help from Lucius and Black Pete, who will have to trust him in order to save the crew/themselves. Stede will be the one to kill Ned Low, and he and Ed will still impulsively sleep together as a coping mechanism at the end of episode 8. Izzy is still alive and well (though still drinking a lot; and I think this could be a key to Frenchie having to confront trauma instead of locking it in the box), and things aren’t smoothed out with Ed and Izzy yet, that’s for next season, Ed has ACTUALLY done something to earn the crew’s trust back, and it appears to be a happy enough ending for Ed and Stede. Also, IF Ed says “I love you”, Stede is GONNA say “I love you too” because WTAF was that in the show?! But I’d end the season with La Vie en Rose and fireworks, Izzy happy and celebrating with the crew, a happy moment for Ed/Stede, the antagonist defeated, and Ed actually having atoned for his previous actions.
All of this is rough, but it’s my original thoughts. If anyone wants to use the base of this to write a fix-it fic, go for it. I may do it myself if I can find the time between work writing responsibilities.
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