#and i was staring at the screen for like 15 mins after that

[candy-crackpot]

I hope this doesn't come off condescending but like I really am stunned and confused over how it became a fanfic trope and fanon that:

- Allen, Apprentice of Cross Marian who canonically sleeps completely naked and starts the day sunbathing nude, was depicted as so "pure and innocent and unassuming" that he was absolutely ignorant of sex or what maiming meant

- Lenalee who at a young age got kidnapped into the notoriously anti-sex, pro-celibacy Vatican's military organisation, who her brother very protectively guards and is consistently shown to be very oblivious to advances, ended up somehow well versed in relationships and sex

- Kanda who can barely stand being around anyone but a select few is a rampaging sex chad who fucked everyone in the Order and has an insatiable libido

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 5

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

..........................................................

Ananya reached her apartment around 1 am. Roma was not back yet, thankfully. She wasn’t ready for her interrogation. 

The night still felt surreal. She leaned against the dining table and held on to the edges to steady the head-rush she was feeling. If the Tupperware of leftover pasta was not in front of her (he had insisted she took some coz she had barely eaten), the girl would have seriously wondered if she had hallucinated the whole thing. But no, this really happened. And she didn’t bail on whatever this was, as she had initially planned to do.

The wine was still buzzing in her system, helping calm her nerves. Before turning in for the night, she sent him a quick message.

Ananya: Reached 15 mins ago. Thanks for the drop. 

She wasn’t expecting a response. He must have a ton of people to talk to / respond to after the match earlier that night. So she started an episode of Friends, hoping to fall asleep in a bit.

5 mins later, her phone flashed.

Jude: Cool. Tired?

Ananya: Oh yeah, in bed already. You?

She rubbed her temple to soothe her straining eyes. It had been some day. 

Jude: Wanted to crash but some of the guys still partying at Vini’s house. Cama kept sending me videos, gosh he’s so wasted right now. Came there for a bit.

She smiled at her phone. The team deserved every bit of celebration tonight.

Ananya: That’s nice. Have fun :)

Jude: Yup. What plans for tmrw? Boss cancelled our training so I am free till afternoon. 

Ananya: Have to work a few hours in the morning, which might extend, not sure.

Jude: On Sunday morning?

Ananya: Welcome to investment banking.

Jude: Keep forgetting how smart you are.

Ananya: Not that smart, but ok :)

Jude: So, I have an ad shoot tomorrow evening, then flying out for an away game on Monday after training. Don’t know when I will see you next.

A wave of sadness hit her, surprising her with its force. Her brain admonished her. She had only just met him and she needed to get a grip. 

Ananya: It’s fine. Will figure something when you are back.

Jude: Hmm. Haven’t even kissed you yet and you are already messing with my head.

The sadness was replaced by a warm shiver as she stared at the screen and thought of a response. But couldn’t come up with any.

Jude: Did you just fall asleep on me? 

Ananya: Stop being dramatic. I am right here.

Jude: Naa, wish you were HERE. Why’d you leave?

Ananya: Jude, you know why.

There was something about the way she said his name that made him want to hear it on loop, in various settings. God damnit this girl.

Jude: Yeah yeah. You thought we won’t be able to keep it in our pants.

She choked on water, and some spilled out on her blanket. 

Ananya: How drunk are you?

Jude: Plentyyyy. Don even know what’s been shoved down my throat anymore. 

Ananya: Figures :)

Jude: One last thing. Veryyyy important, like proper critical. 

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: Need to see you in my jersey. 

She smiled to herself before typing.

Ananya: Maybe win the Madrid derby next, score the winner, and then we’ll talk?

Jude: Tough, tough crowd. No mercy. No rest for the wicked. No respect for the Classico winner. 

He was even more dramatic when he was drunk. She could almost hear the whining from his texts.

Ananya: Good night, Jude :)

Jude: Good night, dove. Try not to dream of me too much. Mwahhh!

She smiled at the screen and ended up kissing it, finally drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, she woke up to a message from him. Sent at 5 am. A drunk out of their wits pic with Jude, Cama and Fede. Along with a caption.

Jude: Your preciousss Cama.

Then, another message from a few seconds later.

Jude: Don’t stare too long. 

She responded with a heart emoji to the picture and got started with her day.

Next few hours were hectic. She got into her work mode, shutting out all the madness that had transpired the day before.

Still, in between, her eyes drifted to her phone, to see if there were any new messages. Poor guy must have been sleeping. Or busy. He did say he had an ad shoot in the second half.

She somehow pulled through the day, and it was almost 5 pm when she finally finished work. Roma was also on the same project. The girls sighed about it being Monday morning just  next day, and decided to make the most of their remaining evening. 

They ended up at the same cafe where Ananya had met him the other day. Was it just two days ago? God - so much had happened since then.

She ordered her favourite churros and took a picture. Then wondered whether she should send it to him. Would it look desperate? Like she was just seeking his attention? She couldn’t have that.

But it was a harmless pic. He would get the reference. Deciding to not overthink it, she ended up sending the photo with a caption.

Ananya: Back to ground zero!

No blue tick for over 15 mins.

Roma rolled her eyes at her then.

‘Can you stop the sappiness? Look around - lovely day. Lovely food. Let’s get some Sangria and let the world go to hell.’

Her roommate was the best. The two perfectly complimented each other. Plus, her American upbringing lent her this carefree attitude which Ananya really wished to imbibe.

‘Well, how can anyone say no to Sangria?’

The girls ordered a pitcher and ended up staying there for a few hours. Gossiping about their colleagues. Talking about life. Planning a vacation - Sevilla and Granada were top of their list. They looked up their calendars and found a long weekend that seemed ideal. The prospect itself making them cheerful.

By the time they got back, it was already 9 pm. There was still nothing from him. Not even a blue tick. She knew he was working. Yet, an ugly thought still creeped in - was this just a one night distraction? Did he already…lose interest after she dumped her constraints on him? All her doubts from last night came rushing back, leaving an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

She got into bed and tried watching a movie. Anything random to keep her thoughts at bay. While scrolling through her insta.

And there it was - a post from him a few mins ago about the ad campaign for a cologne. With a gorgeous, stunning model at his arm. Ofcourse. 

The first photo looked like a part of the creative. The two were dressed immaculately in all black, she was leaning against his chest while his hand rested just above her butt. Seductiveness oozing from every inch of that frame.

The next was a BTS video - of him just being goofy on set while getting ready or trying to take a shot & not getting it right. The whole crew just getting charmed by his antics and boyish smiles. The model, in particular being extra supportive, extra attentive, giggling a bit too hard while holding onto his arm. Perfect hair, perfect figure and perfect skin. Ofcourse. 

And just then, her insta reels recommendation showed Jude hugging multiple female fans who had lined up outside his shoot. They screamed his name, begging for hugs and he obliged. Warm, cozy, Jude hugs. Granted he only wrapped one arm around their shoulder and looked embarrassed when some of them reached up to kiss his cheek or pulled him closer, but still. This wasn’t something she needed to see right now. 

Was this going to be her life from now on? Curled into bed, following his activities on social media, feeling inadequate. She didn’t deserve it. No girl deserved this. 

She threw her phone aside and forced herself to focus on the movie. It was already 9:45, it would be best to get some sleep soon. Next week was going to be super hectic at work. Yes, work is what she needed do focus on. That’s why she was halfway across the world in this city. That was her goal in life right now. Not some ridiculously handsome random boy who made women go weak in their knees everywhere he went. 

Around 10 pm, her phone buzzed. She had tucked herself into bed by then and almost decided to not look at it. But curiosity got the better of her.

Jude: Heyyy. Sorry my phone was not with me. Just getting back from a shoot.

She was equal parts relieved and irritated with that message. Ananya took a deep breath to calm herself down, and thought of a neutral response.

Ananya: Oh yeah, you had mentioned. How did it go?

Jude: Not too bad. Somehow got an ok on my take, that’s all I care about honestly. This acting gig ain’t no joke. 

Ananya: Hmm.

Jude: Churros looked lovely. Hope you had fun.

Ananya: Yep, and yep.

Jude: Tired? Am I keeping you from something?

Ananya: Nope. 

Jude: Why so wry then? What’s happened?

Oh, how she wanted to scream. What’s happened was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. What she swore she won’t put herself through with another boy. And this was amplified 1000 times here coz of who Jude was. 

She started typing, then deleted, then typed again, unable to find the right words. This went on for two mins. 

Jude: Can I call?

She sighed, exasperated. Her voice will immediately give away her irritated and confused state. But he knew something was up and typing like this was getting exhausting.

Ananya: Sure.

He called the next second. She braced herself, then answered. 

‘Hey.’

She couldn’t have possibly made it sound drier even if she tried. 

‘Hey. Wassup?’

‘Nothing, was just about to crash. Already in bed.’

‘Hmm, won’t keep you for long. Just wanna hear your voice.’

Damn him. To the moon and back. Damn his sweet agonising voice. 

‘Why? Looks like you had enough company today.’

The words just tumbled out of her before she could check herself. Great going girl, way to make yourself look pathetic. 

He paused for a few seconds.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing, forget it.’

‘Tell me you’ll sort this on your own and wake up all fine tomorrow morning, I’ll leave it be.’

She knew that wasn’t gonna happen. There was also no way for this to ever work if she wasn’t honest with him. Especially given his situation, things will just compound and then break very quickly. If they ever even get started, that is. 

‘The photos bothered me a bit.’

She could sigh him breathe audibly at the other end - probably getting irritated at her insecurity. Or her immaturity. Maybe both. 

‘What about them bothered you?’

Damn him for always making her spell everything out loud.

‘Just…her? Everything about that stunning woman. Looks like she fancied you.’

She could tell the wheels were churning in his mind at the other end.

‘I see. And you think I should be with someone like her. In fact, maybe I am going to her hotel room right now & talking to you on the way.’

Her silence was deafening. Jude gripped the edge of his seat to not curse out loud. 

‘Ananya - didn’t we speak about this last night? Are we gonna go back full circle here?’

‘I am sorry. It’s just - I don’t know how I could ever compete with someone like that. Also, I don’t want to. I am a normal, regular girl Jude. Don’t need that in my life right now, or ever.’

‘YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPETE. Can’t you see you have already won?’

Warmth and fuzziness ran over her, making her feel gooey inside. She had to clutch her tummy to arrest that feeling. To arrest the freefall. 

‘You don’t know what’s gonna happen.’

Jude fought the urge to throw his phone against the opposite seat. 

‘DO YOU? Does anyone? Girl, why don’t you believe me when I say I want you? Should I list down how much I have fantasised about you the last two days? How much I wanna…..’

‘Stop, please stop Jude. Please.’

Both were breathing heavily at this point, for different reasons.

‘Can I ask you for one thing, Ananya? Try trusting me till I give you an explicit reason not to. I am not such a dog, y’know. Yes, I have seen multiple girls together before but all parties KNEW it was casual. No commitments. This is not that. This is not a situationship. I would have told you to your face if that’s what I was looking for.’

She clutched her phone close to her chest. Him being who he was had made it all so hard. But he was right - he hadn’t done anything. Well, not yet. 

‘I don’t know what to say, Jude. Like I know a lot of this is in my head but I don’t know how to make it go away.’

Heavy breathing continued at both ends. He broke the silence after a few moments. 

‘How about this? Ask me what you really wanna ask me. All your unsaid questions, assumptions, perceptions about me that make you want to distance yourself. I won’t lie, promise. Be the smart girl I know you are and break it down like you will a work project.’

That was actually a fair suggestion. She could see what he was trying to do by appealing to her logical side. Not just a pretty face. Clearly not. 

She chucked her inhibitions on how crude her questions might sound. He was right - without this they would keep coming back full circle.

‘So…when you said you were dating multiple women together..’

‘Seeing…not dating.’

He clarified before she could go on. It was an important distinction for him. 

‘Yes, seeing them together, how long back was that?’

‘In Dortmund.’

‘Hmmm.’

She didn’t know how to feel about that. So she skipped to the next obvious question.

‘And…what about Madrid?’

‘Seen a couple, texted a couple, but not at the same time.’

‘Ok. When was the last time you were…you know..’

He understood the question before her finishing it.

‘Two weeks ago.’

‘I see.’

That wasn’t too long back. Was he still in touch with her? Did they meet up at his house? Something about the last thought made her feel icky.

‘And, these rendezvous, usually happen where?’

He chuckled at her choice of words. She really was something. 

‘At a hotel close by. It’s a private, exclusive property.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He could tell there was a tinge of sarcasm in that last word but chose to let it go.

‘Are you in touch with her….the last one?’

‘Not since a week.’

She was feeling particularly bold at this point. Jude could anticipate her next question from a mile away.

‘Well, are you planning to?’

‘Nope. Not her. Not anyone else. I will only be with you and you will only be with me. Exclusively.’

He declared without hesitation. Her mouth open and closed at his last line, unsure of how to react. He waited patiently. 

‘And what about the hordes of women who throw themselves at you daily? Who would do absolutely anything you want, and more?’

‘There is no easy fix here. You will have to find a way to believe that I will not stray, I will not indulge them.’

He could have backed his statement with evidence. Coz the model from today did slip him her number & he had politely wriggled out of that. But even he had the good sense to know this wasn't the time to bring that up.

She appreciated how he didn’t try to feed her any rosy crap, really following through on answering honestly. His tone & speed of response gave her enough assurance that he wasn’t being evasive. 

She had run out of questions and said as much to him. Weirdly, in some inexplicable way, this was healing.

‘My turn then.’

This caught her off guard. But it was a fair ask, after the grilling she just put him through. 

‘Sure, go ahead.’

‘Open your door in precisely 1 minute. I will ask in person.’

The phone dropped from her hand as she sat up, landing somewhere under the blanket. She reached for it blindly with one hand while switching on the lights with the other. 

‘What do you mean in person? You don’t know where I live.’

‘Agnes knows.’

Ofcourse. His driver had dropped her home last night. Great, his presence was making her dumb now.

‘But….what if someone sees you? Roma is home too. The house is so messy. And I am, I am..One second, your shoot was on the other side of town and this is not in your way. What would you be doing here? Are you messing with me?’

She rambled faster that the speed of light. He ignored every other comment but picked up on the last one.

‘How did you know where my shoot was?’

Damn. Bloody rotten hell. She groaned audibly on the phone and he laughed out loud.

‘Dove is a stalkerrrrrr!’

He said teasingly, in a sing-song voice. 

Before she could respond, she heard a car honk under her window. No, this couldn’t be. He wouldn’t. Would he?

‘Buzz me in and open the door. I am getting out of the car now.’

Ananya rushed frantically to the door, buzzing the building gate open. The idea of someone seeing him here filling her with nerves. Thankfully, she was on the first floor, half a staircase away from the building door.

Three seconds later, she saw him enter the building. Eight seconds later, she was grabbing his arm and pulling him into the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind them.

What was he thinking? What if someone had seen him outside? The media crap storm would have been unstoppable. How irresponsible was this? The gall of him to show up unannounced like that, anytime he wanted. Oh, she was mad. Raving mad.

Before she could turn around and give him a piece of her mind, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. 

‘Sorry. Just wanted to see you once before I fly out tomorrow. Didn’t want to leave on this note.’

And just like that, he knocked the fight out of her chest. With two simple lines. Frankly she was a goner at sorry itself. The boy carried a magic wand of persuasion with him. 

Her shoulders, which were tensed in anger, dropped as she leaned back into his chest. He kissed the back of her head, conveying his gratitude.

She could stay like this forever. In his warm, comforting hold. His scent, familiar by now (when did that happen?), seeping into her skin, taking over her senses. His big, calloused hands enveloping her smaller ones. Involuntarily, she sighed.

‘Thank you for being honest with me earlier. I feel better now.’

‘I am glad. My turn? Only have one question.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He turned her around in his arms and tilted her chin up to look straight into her eyes.

‘Would you let me kiss you right now?’

Time stood still. She was very numb yet very aware in that moment. The dim lighting in the living room from the night lamp, the faint noise from the street, the rhythmic tapping of feet coming from Roma’s locked room who was blaring music on her headphones. All registering in some peripheral part of her brain.

But what she was hypnotised by was his face, and his eyes, gazing intently at her, drawing her in. How was it ever possible to say no to that face? To those big brown eyes which looked even deeper, softer, more vulnerable than ever before?

She didn’t realise when he took off his jacket, nudged her towards the dining table a short distance away, put his hands on the sides of her waist, lifted her slightly to place her on the table. But when her legs were being parted gently so he could stand in front of her, their torsos touching, her trance broke. The heat radiating from his body was palpable. 

Jude’s face was inches away, almost eye level.  A pleasing, handsome, perfectly symmetrical face. The dim lighting creating a halo around him. Ananya tilted her head to look at Roma’s room and if it was still locked. But he put two fingers on her cheek to turn her back to him.

‘Been waiting for this since I saw you.’

Jude lifted her arms & wrapped them around his neck, while his hands stroked her back. The flimsy fabric of her tank top not providing any barrier; it was almost like he was stroking her skin. Her legs, spread wide apart to fit him in, dangled aimlessly on the edge of the table.

How was he expecting a coherent verbal response from her in this situation?

She slowly slid one of her hands from his long muscly neck to his hair, fingers gliding through the thick, firm, soft curls. Her eyes searching his, telling him this is the best she could do right now.

That was all the signal he needed. Her grip in his hair tightened as he angled his head to cover her lips with his. Plump, pillowy lips caressing hers. Making her tightly shut her eyes and whimper out. Which broke something in him.

He dove in again with more urgency, parting her lips this time, getting them to move in sync with his. She gladly obliged, submitting to his rhythm while her heart hammered against her chest. She wondered if he could hear it too. But he was too occupied with tasting her mouth. All her little sounds & shudders giving him a head rush. His hot breath fanning her cheeks. 

When her whimpers went up an octave, he gave her a little breather, connecting their foreheads as they breathed in the same air. Her hands had fallen to the wide expanse of his shoulders, clutching at them to anchor herself. 

He kissed her forehead, the top of her eyes, and placed two delicate pecks on each cheek. His light stubble grazing her skin. She tilted her head involuntarily along with his movements, giving him ready access, like a puppy would to someone petting it. 

‘Ananya, lemme see you.’

The way he said her name, the fondness in his voice, it was like a silent command she couldn’t deny. Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as she opened her eyes. 

He smiled affectionately, and it took her breath away. All the walls she had built around herself, all the rules, all the notions of just focusing on her work for now, this boy had bulldozed his way through all that with just his breathtaking smile.

Some part of her still conscious brain tried to chide her that she was no different than any of the other girls fawning over him. All it took was him showering her with his undivided attention and she was putty in his hands. But her brain couldn’t get a word in edgewise, her other senses had taken over. 

Jude reached for her hands, unclasped them from his shoulders, somehow sensing the tension in them. What he did next made her lightheaded. He moved his lips to her palms, placing soft, lingering kisses on both. And then, he moved her hands to his face, as if asking her to hold him. Somehow, this felt even more intimate than their kiss. 

His unending torso was all hard muscle, pressed into hers, but his face was soft. Rugged yet soft. Her hands couldn’t even fully cover his cheeks, she noted absentmindedly. So she used the pads of her thumbs to stroke the rest of his gorgeous face. 

Suddenly, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer into him. She looked up in surprise, finding darker, hooded eyes. 

‘The next time you wanna run away from me, remember this feeling.’

Not only had his eyes changed colour but his voice had turned hoarse too. Insistent lips crashed into hers, prying them open, his tongue penetrating her mouth. She gasped at the invasion. One of her hands fell from his face  & settled behind her on the table, trying to find balance, as the force of his kiss made her lean backwards, with him looming over her. 

His spare hand gripped her bare thigh to help steady her. She just realised how her tiny sleeping shorts had completely inched up her legs, leaving them almost fully bare. His hand was firm and his fingers dug into her skin, making her head spin.

She lost her balance, despite his support, falling further backwards and knocking down a container behind her on the table. He broke the kiss & stretched his arm to reach for the container, finding it just before it was about to crash on the floor. While she just panted in his hold.

‘Jude…I..’

‘Shhhhh, I got you.’

They fell into a warm, comforting embrace. Arms settling around each others’ backs. Her face resting in the crook of his neck as he quietly stroked her hair.

‘Did it ever occur to you that it’s hard for me to trust as well?’

That made her grudgingly break the hug and look up at him with confused eyes, while their arms remained locked around each other. 

‘It’s tough to figure if someone really likes me for me or it’s the lifestyle, fame, money and exposure that they are after. If a private encounter would remain private or the details would be splashed over some social media later. If some photoshopped images or invented stories be circulated as sworn truth. I have struggled to judge, so honestly I stopped trying. Keeping it just about sex was simpler. Uncomplicated. Convenient. No strings attached.’

No, it hadn’t occurred to her at all. Not till he put it like that. On any other day, she would have been irked at him trying to conveniently defend his conscious indulgences. But it felt more like an admission than justification. 

She stroked his neck and shoulders as he continued being vulnerable with her. 

‘You see, the normal and regular you think to be such a distancing factor, is in fact the opposite. A huge chunk of my life will always be public, I get that. I signed up for that. But this bit, I wanna protect. I’d love to come home to someone normal.’

Ananya stroked his face with all the tenderness she could muster. Trying to show that she understands. From the way he relaxed into her, she figured he got her message. 

Jude knew he had to be careful with her. Seeing her skimpy nightclothes hugging her body tonight had already disrupted his brain chemistry. He couldn’t shake the thought of how easy it would be to just push her on her back then & there. To rid her of the flimsy fabric barely covering her form l, with one determined tug. 

That’s why he knew he had to leave soon, while he was still thinking with his head. She wasn’t ready, not yet. 

‘That your room?’

He tilted his head towards the open door at the end of the corridor. 

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Want me to carry you in and tuck you into bed? I will leave after a goodnight kiss.’

She met his gaze with a twinkle in her eye, cocking her head sideways, biting her lip slowly. His eyes followed every little movement. 

‘Think you can handle being in my bedroom just to tuck me in?’

Boy, he didn’t see that coming. Didn’t know she had it in her. It immediately made him even more interested. The open challenge in her eyes, the suggestive tone, and that jutting out bottom lip. That needed to be responded to.

He leaned in and bit down at the same spot on her lower lip, making it sting a bit, then flicking it with his tongue. His hand gripped her bare thigh again, knocking the sass out of her.

‘Lippy. So lippy. I love it.’

He continued rubbing circles on her thigh with his thumb till he drew a moan out of her, despite her biting her cheek to keep it in.

‘Your pretty brain may not approve of me yet, but your body is definitely #TeamJude.’

She gasped, and he chose that moment to lean in for a deep goodnight kiss. Making it wet & sloppy, on purpose, so much so that she had to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand when he was done with her.

‘Sleep tight, dove. Talk to ya tomorrow. And..’

He leaned in to whisper in her ear, enunciating each word.

‘Will think about you tonight. Maybe in the car as well.’

With one last attempted wink, he bid her goodbye and walked out. While she was still perched up on the table, her body tingling everywhere he had touched her, her lips tasting of him, and her mind reeling from what had just happened.

……………………… 

There it is. Was delayed because, well, the pictures threw me off :)

As always, feedback / comments are always welcome. Hope you are enjoying their journey so far!

[pepsiboyy]

starboy part 3

P1 P2 P3

pairing: y/n x chris sturniolo

summary: y/n, born and raised in los angeles, moves across the country to boston. when she feels like she has nobody, she makes some new friends at her new job. she grows particularly close with the sturniolo triplets, where she finds a lot in common with one of them.

warnings: some fluff and some angst :c and possibly cursing?

lowercase intentional!!!

author's note: HELLOWWW i hope this is good i have a lot of ideas for this series but i am having a moment where i have so many ideas that i dont know what to do RHSGHAHAH anyway enjoy

i stared at myself in the mirror with a soft hum as i brushed my teeth, dancing subtly as i blasted music into my earbuds.

i spit out the toothpaste and hummed to the music before immediately shuttering at the sound of my phone vibrating beside me. the smile that spread across my face was indescribable as i read his name.

from: chris⭐ heyy, matt and i are gonna watch a movie together while nick is at work and i figured i'd invite you from: chris⭐ wanna tag along?

i smiled softly and typed away, slowly making my way to my closet as my eyes didn't leave the screen.

from: me i'd love to, what time?

i reached into my closet and grabbed a white long sleeve that fit me a little more snug, then pulled a baggy navy blue shirt over it. i slipped on some baggy ripped jeans and a belt, before whining as i messed with my hair in the mirror. bad hair day, i thought to myself. i sighed and grabbed a black beanie, slipping it onto my head and looking at myself.

bzzt.

i turned and gripped my phone.

from: chris⭐ probably within the next like 15 min, be ready

i smiled and reacted to his message with a thumbs up, making my way down the stairs.

-

my parents turned to me as i entered the kitchen. "hey," i breathed, opening the fridge to get a drink. they looked at me with a look of confusion.

"where you headed?" my mom questioned, and i shrugged. "my coworkers invited me over to watch a movie.." i grabbed a bottle of water before shutting the fridge and sitting at the table to slip on my socks and shoes, deciding to wear air forces today.

"what coworkers?" my dad asked, turning to me and i swallowed. "umm... matt and chris... there's nick too, but he works the first half of the day. they're triplets." i chuckled. my dad raised his eyebrows. "yeah, i had the same reaction." i replied, smiling softly at the thought of the three and how helpful they had been to me with the move and adjusting to the new job.

"what time will you be home?" my mom questioned, and i shrugged. "are they picking you up?"

i nodded and smiled, stretching. "yeah, matt is picking me up. and im assuming chris will be with him." i mumbled, humming softly as i checked my phone.

i heard a few honks outside before i smiled at my parents. "sounds like they're here!" i began walking out of the room. "bye, love you both!" i shouted, and my mom seemed to follow me to the door.

"keep me posted," she whispered, and i smiled as i lightly hit her arm.

"i will," i replied and gave her a soft side hug before heading out the door.

with a few steps to the car, i felt a wave of happiness rush over me. "thanks for picking me up," i mumbled as soon as i slid open the back door, smiling to myself and shutting it behind me.

"anytime," matt replied, turning to me to make sure i was buckled before he faced the front and began driving. "how was your morning?"

"did you sleep well?" chris quickly asked after matt, turning at me and smiling softly.

i smiled softly back and shrugged. "in all honesty, i woke up and then got your text, so it was okay! looking forward to today," i started, "and i slept really well. i actually feel very well rested today." i finished and smiled, looking out the window to look around. a thought came to my mind as i smiled at the two. "how did fortnite go?" i asked, resulting in matt and chris both looking at each other with a knowing glance.

"we did alright," matt started, but chris quickly interrupted him. "no, actually, if matt knew how to play the game we would have done better." he spat, resulting in matt giving him a shocked gasp. "are you kidding? i got more elims than you could even could on your hands," he responded.

i listened mindlessly to their banter as i watched matt pull into the driveway of where i assumed was their home.

chris unbuckled and got up, moving to quickly get out and open the door for me. i furrowed my eyebrows and smiled softly at him. "thanks," i breathed and followed chris to their front door.

"mom, we brought home a friend," matt stated a bit louder as we walked through the door. who i assumed was their mother, stepped out from the kitchen and smiled warmly at me.

"hi, y/n is it?" she asked and carefully set her hands on the sides of my arms. she smiled brightly, and i smiled softly back.

she seemed super sweet, like an amazing mom to the triplets.

"yeah, y/n," i mumbled back and smiled. "so great to meet you, thanks for having me and stuff," i chuckled and her smile only seemed to widen if possible.

"oh, don't worry about it, sweetheart. you're welcome always. i'm mary-lou, their mom." she stated, motioning her head to the two boys behind us. i smiled softly and nodded before chris and matt lead me to their room where they typically hung out.

i looked around and smiled warmly at the posters on the wall of things they liked, the cleanliness of the room, and the things that piqued my interest just as much as theirs.

"i made chris rid of all the soda cans sitting around, so it would be clean for you," matt mumbled to himself, which rewarded him a smack in the arm from chris.

"hey, some of them were yours too. and you didn't have to mention the mess," he seemed to lower his voice in the last part, glancing at me.

"don't worry. before i moved, i was kind of the same way," i replied and smiled. i stood awkwardly at the doorway, unsure if i should sit or where to sit.

chris gently pat beside him. "here, wanna sit?" he offered, and i nodded softly. i carefully sat beside him on the couch in the room, a comfortable distance from him. matt was setting up the tv before he moved to sit beside chris.

"what do you wanna watch, y/n?" he asked, and i sat in thought.

"ugh, i don't know," i mumbled and stared at their wall in thought. my mind wandered. "i really like comedies, some action movies and sometimes horror or sci-fi," i mumbled, looking between the two.

"okay," matt began, "i asked for a movie, not every genre," he joked, and i scoffed. "at least you aren't picky." he mumbled and leaned back, going through movies.

i watched mindlessly as he scrolled through a bunch of movies, but one in particular made me jump to my seat.

"mean girls?"

they both turned to me, and i felt my face grow hot.

"sorry, i know it's cliche, but it's a good movie.. and a classic," i started to defend myself, and they both shrugged.

"nick talks about it a lot, but i'm not sure matt and i have actually seen it," chris replied as he moved an arm to rest on the back of the couch in my direction.

"mean girls it is." matt stated and put on the movie. he leaned back after adjusting the volume, a content smile on his face as he kept his space and even kicked his feet up on the couch.

chris glanced at me and smiled softly, before looking around and back at me. "do you want a blanket or anything?" he questioned, and i blinked a few times before shrugging.

"i mean, if you're offering-" i replied with a soft giggle.

he just watched before smiling warmly. "i'll grab it for you," he mumbled as he sat up and went to grab a blanket that was nicely folded in his room.

i watched as he left, looking at matt and shooting him a soft smile before focusing on the movie.

chris came back a few moments later with a blanket and unfolded it, carefully draping it over me. i blushed softly and smiled at him as he sat back down beside me. "thanks," i breathed, and he nodded softly.

i felt warm. not because of the blanket, but more because of the feeling of chris being so close beside me. i knew i liked him, i had established that. i was just nervous. i leaned back into the couch, my head accidentally touching his arm that was resting on the back. i glanced at him and mouthed a quick apology to him, before turning back to the tv.

god, anyone would have to be out of their mind if they thought i knew what was going on in this movie right now. i had seen it a million times, yet for some reason every word felt so unfamiliar and it was probably because this blanket was drowning me in chris's scent. i blinked a few times before i slouched against the couch, trying to focus more on the movie to avoid any awkward interactions.

-

the movie was almost over, almost at the fun and dramatic ending when matt got a call on the phone.

"hello? oh, yeah we're upstairs. oh sick... sounds about right. yeah, i'll be right there. bye," matt pulled his phone from his ear as he stood up and smiled at chris and i. "i'm gonna go help nick with groceries. nick said he called you like seven times, but you're hopeless." matt smirked as he stood up. "i'll be back in a bit, pause it?" matt asked, and i smiled at him.

"of course, it only gets better.." i mumbled and paused the movie, leaning back.

chris scoffed as he whipped out his phone, looking to check his missed calls. matt had left the room at this point. i glanced at chris's phone screen to see if there were as many missed calls as matt had mentioned, but i almost felt like i was intruding by doing so.

chris seemed to notice this though, and smiled as he scoot over. he carefully wrapped an arm around me and motioned his phone towards me, indicating it was okay to look.

i blushed deeply as i stared at chris, blinking a few times.

"is this okay?" he asked softly, his voice a bit raspy now from focusing on the movie for so long.

i quickly nodded and smiled shyly, leaning into his embrace. i looked at his phone as he pulled up tiktok, scrolling through a few of them.

chris carefully leaned his head against the top of mine, and i kept my focus on his for you page, which resulted in a few laughs from both of us.

should i do it? should i speak up and tell him how i feel? and maybe get somewhere? i mean, he wouldn't hug me like this for no reason right? my mind wandered. i took in a breath and opened my mouth to speak, but his phone dinged. and i turned to it, assuming it would be his brothers texting him.

maeve Heyy Chris❤️

maeve You work tmrw?

my heart sank. i blinked a few times as i watched chris almost immediately swipe away both notifications. i visibly tensed before shooting up after a few moments, standing up and looking directly at chris, who now looked puzzled. "where's your bathroom?" i mumbled at lightning speed, and he blinked as he also stood up.

"it's.. it's right down the hall, first door on the left," he started, but gently took my arm. "are you okay?" he asked, and i smiled and nodded quickly before stepping back.

"yup, just reaally have to pee!" i mumbled again, spinning on my heel and heading towards the bathroom where i closed the door and locked it behind me.

deep breaths, y/n.

it's really probably no big deal right? right.

i couldn't believe that for a second, unfortunately. chris is incredibly attractive, and maeve is a pretty blonde. i would have been stupid to think she wouldn't go after him. and what reason does he have not to go after her?

i let out a breathy sigh as i stared at myself in their mirror. why did i feel like crying? i just met this guy. but we had so much in common and such a connection because of it. i bit my lip. this sucked. a lot. but i guess it was too good to be true. i carefully moved towards the door and opened it.

matt was standing in the room with nick and chris, where all three of them now turned to you with a slight look of confusion.

"hey, y/n," nick smiled and waved, and i bit my lip and waved back.

"you okay?" matt asked, and i quickly nodded.

"yeah, i um. need to go home. now." i breathed and bit my lip. "don't worry, my mom is... getting me," i lied, and smiled softly at them as i waved and quickly left.

on my way out, i saw mary-lou and smiled softly, waving. "i'm leaving, but thank you so much for having me," i breathed, and she seemed a bit confused at my hurriedness, but nodded and waved nonetheless.

"it was great meeting you, y/n. have a great night, come again soon!" she smiled, and i felt almost hurt.

i went outside and bit my lip as i sent my location to my mother, sitting against the curb. i pulled my hood over my head and wrapped my arms around my knees, fighting the urge to cry.

this was stupid. i should have known.

the hot guy would be with the hot girl, and the new girl who moved into town would be the new girl. that was all.

after some time of music blasting in my ears, which this time was some hotel ugly, i heard tires roll up against the asphalt. i quickly opened the door and sat in the car before my mom started driving.

"what happened?" she questioned, moving to set a hand on my shoulder, but i shrugged it off.

"i don't.. really want to talk about it right now," i breathed. i looked down at my phone, where i had a few texts now from chris. my heart ached.

from: chris⭐ hey, i hope everything is ok

from: chris⭐ i had a really great time, thx 4 comin

i bit my lip and turned my phone over, leaving him on opened.

and to think i had to face him tomorrow at work.

hi guys, let me know what you think of this !!! <33

taglist;; @mysterioussmae :) thanks for being the first !!

[roseofhybrids]

First bit of replicant AU concept art. How I'm thinking the buttons I mentioned the other day would work.

It's about 2 inches [~5 cm], give or take. A little smaller than the width of your average smartphone.

You hold down for a few seconds and then can either use it like a touch screen or give voice commands. Once the outer ring fills, the AI performer's body will freeze in place. Both to prevent them from interfering and to act as a restraint method should one of them ever get too wild (read, violent [mostly just a comedic hypothetical]). They can still talk and move their heads, and will unfreeze after someone navigates back to the default screen. The button will automatically return to that screen after 5 minutes of no one touching the screen or using a voice command.

The AI's can't interact with their own buttons, including removing them, but can activate the other's. They don't have much reason to, though, as they can do most of what the button can do on their own.

A few options include the snooze, which essentially puts the AI to sleep, but if Pomni were to interact with them, or they were to see/hear something that they're obligated to assist with/investigate. Such as hearing a scream or seeing Pomni with some kind of injury.

The tracker, which allows the user to find where the other AI's are located in the circus.

And of course, tech support. Which sends an alert to Caine and will try to trouble shoot the issue. If the problem is severe enough, it will call Caine to assist.

It can also display error messages and tell you if the AI is buffering.

Image text transcript:

The buttons: Interaction button default display icon name of the folder where the AI is housed - CAINE_AI_copy_05_J AI's name - "Jax"

Snooze set snooze 15 min, 1 hour, 8 hours, 24 hours, until button is pressed again

Tracker Gangle

Error an error has occurred and [JAX] is unable to respond. Please call Caine or another AI friend for assistance. 0X0000001A

Tech support please describe your issue A friend is being violent and won't stop A friend is missing and does not appear on the tracker A friend is not moving A friend is staring [for too long]

Comic AI 05 JAX "Hold your finger over the screen until the outer ring fills to bring up additional options. It'll respond to voice commands after that" "So, I just-" TING FREEZE "You good?" "Of course! It's just some temporary paralysis to keep us from moving while you adjust the settings!" "O-Oh..."

[hellhoundvv]

Pov:

You fed me an edible without me knowing, before putting on a movie. You'd found a porno that had a very convincing opening, like it was just a regular drama/romance. After about 15 min, I start feeling fuzzy and strange. Time is moving weird, the voices and images on the screen not really registering properly. You lay your hand on my thigh, my shorts riding up so high, but because I can barely feel my body I don't notice.

"Are you okay? You've been eating popcorn like a monster, and it's all gone. Are you still hungry?"

I look over at you, then down to the bowl in my lap and back. I hadn't even realized I was eating, that felt like ages ago and wasn't the movie already over? It's been so long since I've been on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm starving actually," I reply with a frown. Some thing about that didn't seem right... I ate a big breakfast so I wouldn't snack too much in front of you and gross you out. And then apparently just ate a whole bowl of popcorn to myself.

You smile, pat my thigh (I don't notice the the way your cock and pupils fatten as you watch my thigh ripple freely in front of you for the first time). "Let me go get you another snack."

You get up, your cock on full display in the outline of your sweats. You're not even afraid that I'll notice and freak out and try to leave. My brow furrows cutely as I subconsciously register the heavy sway of your thick, hard dick as you got up and sauntered over to the kitchen.

While you're in there you revel in the hot thrill if seeing my body so open and vulnerable. Usually I keep my body closed off, even when wearing clothes that cling to fat rolls so lovingly. My fuzzy eyes and slack jaw stare, the way all of the walls around my emotions melt away and my eyes are looking up at you with such trust and adoration.

The way the sounds of moaning can be heard from the TV and I'm still too lost in my high to notice. You slice another warm, fudgy brownie and bring it to me. Snapping me out of my stupor, my warm and gleeful face brightens like I let it in private when I see a food I'm excited to eat.

So hungry and insatiable I gobble the thing down much quicker than I realize; chocolate smudged cutely around my lips and chin. You watch every bite, every swallow; the ache in your sweatpants growing unbearable.

But you wait.

Soon the next edible hits, and you know exactly when. My legs fall open completely, my panties and shorts practically dug into my pussy by now from how bad I'm slouching into them.

On the screen a man is hypnotizing a girl into showing off her tits to a room full of strangers. You watch as I squirm a little, the tug of my panties between my folds and the visuals on screen and the sound of big hands stroking bigger cocks and needy, whiney, desperate moans fall from the slut on TV. You see the porn star and her fuzzy, hypnotized face and look over at me, the same look on my face.

"Are you okay princess?" You let the pet name slip, a smirk on your face when I subconsciously whine at the pet name. "You look like you need something? Are you still hungry, you ate that brownie so fast like the cute, greedy little thing that you are."

I nod ardently, my gaze drawing up in confusion when the images on the screen start to come into focus. "Yesh, br'wnie wad nummy," I slur slowly, my tone turning childish. I always mask this side from you, the part of my mental illness that makes me regress. "This movie has a r'lly loooooong sex scene... is kinda weird."

My eyes are glued to the TV, unable to look away as the slut gets bounced on a massive cock, her eyes and tongue lolling in her hypno state of mind. You always wondered if I was secretly a pervert. I was always so sweet and gullible, smart in many ways but stupid in all the ways that got you hard. But the way my eyes blankly start to focus on the TV, and my pussy starts humping the couch cushion subconsciously tell you just what kind of girl I am.

"You enjoying the movie little girl?" Your tone is condescending, the real you finally coming out after all this time playing the nice guy to lure me into trusting you implicitly.

"Mmmmm, yeah," I mumble breathily, "makes me feel fuzzy, I like feeling fuzzy, s'good."

"Do my special brownies make you really feel that good baby?" You croon, standing closer than you normally would dare; the head of your cock straining and making a wet stain on your sweats. You're standing so close the tip of your cock is almost touching the side of my lips and I don't even notice.

"They're tasty... but they make me so seepy..."

"Maybe I can give you another one after the movie, if you're a good girl. How does that sound? Wanna be a good girl for me? Love watching you put that greedy little mouth of yours to use."

By now you've slipped out of your pants, fisting your cock achingly slow right by my face. Your words seem to register distantly, some thing about them seem wrong, but I can barely remember already what you said. So I turn, opening my mouth to say some thing, when you slide your cock right in.

I gasp, but before I really understand whats happening I've already had my shirt lifted and my tits admired while I greedily sucked your cock like I was starving for it.

As my conscious clears a little I struggle, until you shove another brownie down my throat and watch as I go dumb again. You play with me like this for hours, the TV still playing it's brainwashing porn.

By the end your fucking me doggy style, as I watch the spirals and subliminals turning me into an empty headed cow that only wants to be fucked and impregnated and fed. My tongue lolls out stupidly while you pump me full of every load until your balls are completely drained.

By morning time I'm all cleaned up, and tucked safely in your bed while you "valiantly" slept on the coach. I can't remember the day before or how I got to this point, and so you lie to me, say we drank wine last night and I feel asleep so you let me have the bed.

I'm still too fuzzy to think straight and notice the ache in my cunt from being fucked raw all night. I trust you so much and thank you for taking care of me.

You can't wait until you can see me again, the smell of fresh baked brownies in your home. The smell now a trigger for my brain to immediately give in, and I greet master like I was taught; mouth open wide so he can shove his special brownies down my throat, followed by my favorite daddy milk to wash it all down.

[harlstiel]

***There will be spoilers for the Teen Wolf Movie below. Because I, like an idiot, actually watched the damn thing.***

Everything wrong with Teen Wolf: The Movie

• Eli's Mother plothole. Who is she? Idfk. Personally, I want it to be Braeden. He was born somewhere around the s3b/s4 mark as the movie is 13 years after s6.

• I'm not a Sterek person. I was actually extremely (still kinda am) against Sterek for a very long time. But this movie? I'm questioning a lot of things. What are the complicated feelings, Derek? Hmm? Oh wait, that's right. He can't answer me because he's fucking dead.

• While we're on the topic. Why, Jeff? Why. Not only did he die of fire (like the rest of his fucking family), but he died in front of his son. Derek Hale allowed his son to watch him die. I'm not saying Derek wouldn't die for Eli (because he absolutely would), but to traumatize him like that? No. The man who was kidnapped, tortured, groomed, sexually assaulted at 15, forced to kill the girl he loved, whose family was burned inside their own home by the woman who molested him... was killed off by burning him with hellfire.

• NOBODY making a move to stop Derek from sacrificing himself in the first place? Scott just stared. Stood there. Did nothing. Wtf? Even though Jordan could've just held Void himself, like, dude. You're a Hellhound. He's a werewolf/demon thing. You were destined to kill bigger.

• Derek allowed Scott to take in Eli? Excuse? The man who hates being a werewolf and his 17(?) year old 10th grade girlfriend who died before Eli was born, and who just so happens to be related to the woman who molested him and murdered his family? Yeah, no. Why not his perfectly capable(sorta) and healthy(physically, not mentally) uncle, cousin and sister. Or at least his Grandpa Noah, Grandma Melissa or Uncle Chris. (I'm a Peter/Chris person. Sue me.). These people have been in Beacon Hills and has known him his entire life. Scott met him once when he was three.

• What happened to Stydia? Like, you can't tell me Stiles just allowed her to walk out that door without talking in some way? He loved her for fucks sake.

• Jordan and Malia? I'm not saying it's bad. It's not, I actually kinda like it. But where did it come from? No buildup whatsoever. Just BOOM sex scene.

• Liam gets like, 5 mins screen time. Despite preparing to take on the role of Alpha in s6, he's like a side character put there just to be there. He slayed those 5 minutes tho holy shit.

• Liam doesn't say a single word to Mason. Mason doesn't say a single word to Liam. Why? They were best friends and had this seemingly unbreakable bond in the show but now it's like mom and dad are fighting and don't acknowledge each others existence.

• Speaking of Mason, why is he (a gay black man) a cop? This could've been interpreted as either good or bad depending on how you personally want to take it, but during the time this movie was in production, the BLM movement was still pretty big.

• It's an entire game of 'Where's Waldo' but instead of Waldo actually being there, Waldo is both a giant motherfucking plothole and multiple people. Where is Corey? Where is Theo? Where is Cora? Where is Braeden? Where is Kira? Where is Isaac? WHERE. IS. STILES?

• On the Isaac and Stiles Topic, they're the two that should've been there. Isaac had the Nogitsune at the end of season 3, and took it with him to France. Why do Hikari and Liam have it in FUCKING JAPAN? How'd it get there? Why do they have it? What happened to Isaac?

• Stiles. Where is he. You're telling me that the one person who probably knew the Nogitsune more than it knew itself, wasn't at the battle. You're telling me that Stiles, the one person able to out-fox a fucking fox on multiple occasions when he was FUCKING 17 wasn't there? In all his F.B.I. glory? Because ehe could've had Cora, Braeden, Isaac and Kira in tow, and showed up in the final battle guns blazing, killing the Nogitsune, and saving his pack in his tactical F.B.I vest fresh off a secret important case like sorry I'm late, had shit to do? Then Eli could've met his father's beta, his (possible, cause I love Derek and Braeden) mother, AND the badass F.B.I. guy whose jeep he steals 24/7 and had saved his father on multiple occasions? (Bcus it's confirmed Derek talks about Stiles to Eli) And a cutesy pack scene to finish it off? (With maybe some Stira, Stisaac and/or Stora cause he showed up with them and could be dating one (or all) of them)

• Each antagonist of the movie has (or at least a reason to have) a vendetta against Stiles. We know all about the Nogitsune. Harris hated Stiles' guts, albeit for no particular reason. Even Allison could've blamed Stiles for her death in some way (not that she would, of course.) It reads as though it was written for DOB but when he didn't want to do it, they decided not to rewrite it as such.

• Why Mr. Harris in the first place-? Like, he was one of the sacrifices in S3A, so surely the NEMETON would've known he didn't actually die. And the fact that he still has beef with them just blows my mind :/

《I'll add more as I think of them》

[theladyofbloodshed]

hii, may i ask if you use any specific app to help you write? i've been using notion but i think it's hindering my writing when i write on my phone.. i followed your au acosf when it was still being updated and i was amazed how fast you can write for quite a long chapter... thanks for your answer!

Hello!

Uhh, I guess I'm a bit old school because I literally just use word.

Long post below:

Writing process for me is usually:

I have an idea

I daydream about it and imagine possible outcomes then fixate on one path

I write it

Because I've visualised in quite a lot of detail, run through different dialogues, when it comes to writing it, it is usually quite a smooth process because I know exactly what's happening.

If I'm just staring at a screen then I like to switch to writing by hand. These scenes tend to need less editing too as they're slower to write and I can pick up on mistakes whereas when I'm typing quickly, I'll sometimes type the wrong word or miss one out.

Sometimes it means that I haven't planned. Planning for me can just be a couple of bullet points that x/y/z will happen. Sometimes I'll just lay down, close my eyes, put some music on and start imagining again.

When I wrote ACOSF, I had a lot of ideas that I knew would happen so each chapter was either "the event" I wanted or the build up to it. For example, in one chapter, I knew Nesta would have faebane at dinner with the Vanserras or she'd go to meet Cassian at the war memorial in Illyria. Sometimes I needed to bridge between X and Y and there'd be little filler bits. That was more fun because I could waffle and create scenarios not necessary to the plot, but just nice bits like Nesta playing with children or cuddling up with Rovena. It's a luxury that fan fiction can have. I tend to always be thinking a few chapters ahead because we'll be pointing in one direction - but it might be we'll hit some rocks and it's a dead end so I need to start steering it another way, if that makes sense?

How can I write so much so quickly? Lots and lots of daydreaming! When I was a teacher, I didn't get a single second to myself on a work day so I'd be daydreaming about the fic on the way in (30 mins), work solid for 9 hours with children tapping me and teaching and marking and planning, then daydream on the drive home (1 hour thanks to traffic!). I would make a cup of tea then sit for an hour immediately after coming home, drink my tea and write the bits I'd been daydreaming then my partner would come home. I could have my "free time" then which was spent cleaning/cooking/seeing partner. When all those things were done, if there was still time in the evening then I'd sit and write some more. I'm not a night owl so most weekdays I'm in bed by 9/9:30.

Sometimes, I do write on my phone too but I just write on notes then email it to myself and put it in the word document but that's usually if I'm somewhere and have no access to paper e.g. if I stay at a friends and wake up early.

Sprints can also be useful like setting a timer for 15/20 mins and you just write for that amount of time then take a break, do something else, but no distractions during the sprint. I also keep an excel file because i'm obsessed with spreadsheets to track my writing

This was when I was writing The Wench and The Gentleman

Light green was my daily wordcount (I had fics on top of this too). I had a target of the total that I needed to reach weekly to stay on track (I set myself like 8 weeks to write that book because I love putting weird deadlines on myself) so the dark green is my actual word count and the number beside it was the target. You can see by week 3, I was 19k words ahead of schedule lmao.

I'm more than happy to chat more about writing processes and discover how other people work so feel free to message on chat or whatever :-)

[dystopianhellscape]

Let Me In, Pt 2.

(Stranger Things x Reader)

The edit was quick so please forgive any spelling errors or grammar mistakes. I'm in the process of moving so I figured I would post this now. It's quite a bit longer than the last few but I'm trying to build relationships between characters. It's also kind of cute and fluffy but I thought it would be a good one to end on until I can get the next part posted. Enjoy! Feedback is welcome.

Warnings ⚠️: swearing, touching, inappropriate gestures, tobacco use, flirting...just some real fluff with Steve Harrington.

Reading Time: ~15 mins.

-‐-------------------------------‐-----------------------------------

The screen lit up the room as it showed a panicked Nancy Thompson thrashing around on a hospital bed in the middle of a sleep study. Her mother ran in to her rescue, waking her up. You watched as she began running her fingers through the brand new slice of silver hair placed conveniently along the side of Nancy's head, confused and worried. It almost made you laugh as the scene played out on the TV until you wondered how terrified she would have to be in real life for her hair to change color like that on it's own. This was a movie, of course. You knew how your recent nightmares made you feel but your hair remained the same shade it's always been. You weren't sure if it was even physically possible to be so traumatized that your hair color could damn near erase itself but you realized that if fear was able to alter your appearance the way it had so far, then you couldn't rule it out.

'Poor Nancy.' You empathized with her, feeling as though you shared similar burdens. No. You didn't want to think about that right now. Squinting ever so slightly, you forced your mind to wander away from that topic, a new thought popping into it's place. 'Nancy. Wait...isn't that Wheeler's first name? Shit...'

You mentally slapped your palm to your forehead at the realization, feeling like a failure as a friend. You tried to sneak a peek at Steve out of the corner of your eye, your way of checking in without revealing what you had just discovered. Even though it was something you should have already known with as much as you had heard about her. Guilt tugged at your chest. Steve and Robin had provided you comfort almost every time you've ever needed it. Whether you asked or not. You hoped if it came down to it, you could finally return the favor. But his face gave nothing away.

You heard Nancy's name called out again a few lines later and your eyes flicked back to Steve to watch for a reaction. His face stayed stoic but as you glanced down at his hand placed over the bicep closest to you, you noticed his grip tighten until his knuckles turned white. Your heart ached a little for him.

As you leaned into him to speak, attempting to serve as a distraction, the two of you looked down almost perfectly in sync with one another as you felt the blanket slide across your legs. Both pairs of eyes followed the blanket being pulled in Robin's direction and you realized at the same time that she had fallen asleep. Turning her back toward you with eyes glued shut, she yanked the blanket over her shoulder and tucked her hands up under her cheek like a makeshift pillow. She then unconsciously allowed herself to get comfortable, sinking down into the arm rest. A few more seconds passed and she let out a soft snore.

You turned to Steve and his eyes were already meeting yours. You were sure that you were both thinking the same thing. Robin always fell asleep in the middle of movie nights, sometimes toward the end of the first movie, other times toward the middle of the second. It was rare she ever made it longer than that. You decided to take advantage of this moment, desperately needing a smoke break.

With slow, steady movements, you grabbed the sliver of blanket still covering half of your lap and tucked it closer to Robin. After staring at her a while longer to make sure you didn't wake her, you turned back to Steve when she didn't move a muscle. Not even risking a whisper, you mouthed the words "smoke break" and brought two fingers to your lips before pulling them away, pretending to exhale. You were hoping if Steve couldn't tell what you were trying to say, he would at least put two and two together from the gesture that accompanied it. He wrinkled his nose in response and you snorted quietly, knowing then that he understood. Placing your palms together, you held your hands up as if in prayer, shooting him a pout. He mouthed back 'NOT FAIR' as a smirk appeared on his face. The pout always worked.

He pretended to think on it for a moment before letting out a barely audible sigh and nodding, giving in to your silent pleading. You answered with the slowest fist pump he'd ever seen, celebrating your small and kind of pointless victory. In response, Steve rubbed his face, trying to stifle the laugh that wanted to make itself known. Once he managed to wrestle it back, he placed a finger to his lips, reminding you to be as quiet as possible and eventually lifted himself off the couch with ease. You nodded back at him in understanding as he reached for your shoes under the table and handed them to you. Chancing a final glance back at Robin, you leaned down slowly to slip your shoes on. Once you had confirmed she had passed out, you pushed yourself up to a gradual stand the way he had a few moments ago and gave yourself an imaginary pat on the back for actually pulling it off.

Almost as if to prove otherwise, Robin stirred and your eyes darted back in her direction. You didn't have to look back at Steve to know he was holding his breath too and the pair of you stayed frozen in place until she had relaxed back into her previous position. The sound of a gentle snore filled the room, somehow loud enough to be heard over the shrieks coming from the TV. You could feel an uncontrollable urge to burst into laughter.

Noticing your extremely obvious attempt to choke down your giggle, Steve quickly yet gently placed his hand over your mouth, pulling you backwards into the kitchen before you could explode into a fit of laughter. You failed to keep a couple of loose giggles from spilling out. Thankfully, they were muffled and could hardly be heard over the noises continuing to sound off from the living room. Steve shushed you and you could feel the sudden warmth from his breath on your cheek as he leaned in close to your ear. "You're gonna wake her up!"

Without removing his hand from your mouth, he scooped your bag up off the counter with ease and continued to guide you through the house, swiftly but delicately, minding his steps. He led you out the back door. As he dragged you outside, he shut the door behind you and beamed at the fact that you both made it out successfully and without injury.

'All that sneaking into Wheeler's bedroom must have paid off, I guess!' You knew better than to state this out loud for him to hear but you couldn't deny that you were a little impressed. He finally let go of your mouth and you could smell his cologne clinging to your uniform. You only caught the scent because the wind picked up as it had been doing all night but it made it noticeable from that point on. It was a pleasant one. A comfortable one.

A broken laugh pushed it's way out as you gasped for air dramatically, still working to keep your voice at a reasonable level. Steve flashed his usual award-winning smile at you with his eyebrows raised. His hands found their way to his hips as he lectured, a playful, half-whispered yell. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, Y/L/N? YOU ALMOST WOKE THE BEAST! That's the quietest she's been all day! What were you thinking?!"

Your giggle lingered as you pulled the pack out of your bag and grabbed out a cigarette and the lighter. Steve wrinkled his nose again at the sight of it as you placed it between your fingers and trapped it in your lips to light up.

"I'M SORRY! I couldn't help it!" Your words came out in a mumble but your tone matched his. He watched your lips as you inhaled and his eyes flicked up to meet yours once again. Even in the dark, you could notice his ears growing red. The flush started creeping toward his cheeks and you wondered if he noticed it too or if it was just the result of the cold. "She does need the sleep though."

He nodded in agreement as you turned your head slightly away from him and exhaled. He added to your statement, "Yeah, I don't think she's been getting much lately either."

'Either? ' You weren't sure if he was referring to himself or trying to let you know that he noticed you were lacking sleep too. Trying to change the subject with subtlety, you held the cigarette out to him, offering it up just to be polite. You already knew his answer though. He held a palm up and shook his head. "Ugh. No. Thanks anyway." You laughed as you shrugged off his distaste and brought it back to your mouth to take another puff. He let out a harsh sigh.

"I know it's not my place to tell you what to do but..." He shook his head again, almost as disapproving as the last and continued, "....as a friend....you know. Someone that's concerned about your health and safety? You really should look into quitting." Your gaze was fixed on the smoke you just exhaled, watching it curl up as it hung in the air before quickly disappearing.

"I appreciate your concern, Harrington. As always." Your face softened as you realized his words were genuine and not just some sad attempt to flirt like it may have been back when he was more commonly referred to as King Steve. He was a completely different person back then. You snapped yourself out of old memories before the silence could become too awkward and finished your thought. "Really. I do. But I'm just not ready to quit yet." You could tell it wasn't the answer he was looking for but he nodded, respecting your decision and backing down from his argument.

Taking in another drag, you looked up at the sky. Pitch black. 'Thank god.' Your mouth all of a sudden felt dry and the corners of your lips twitched into a frown, berating yourself over your poor choice of the word 'god'. It resounded in your mind just as it had in your horrific episode earlier. 'God? Your 'God' is not here.'

Trying to distract yourself from the invading thought, you shook it off and forced yourself to inspect the sky further, noticing only a few stars sprinkled throughout the darkness. Your shoulders dropped and you let a breath out through your nose, hoping your limbs would stay numb to the cold. The smoke you inhaled came out with it.

Steve continued to watch you carefully without saying a word as you admired the sky and he admired you. The way your hair blew lightly with the breeze, your chill-kissed cheeks a stunning shade of pink and those eyes...even though they seemed heavy due to lack of sleep with the dark circles surrounding them as proof, they were still beautiful to him. Before he could get completely lost in you, he noticed as a subtle change in your expression broke through. He had always been kind of jealous of (and sometimes irritated by) your ability to keep your face from giving away everything you were feeling. But not in that moment. In that moment, you looked vulnerable...almost frightened. His instinct to comfort you was stronger than ever and he tossed the idea around in his head. But almost as quickly as it appeared, the distressed look left your face along with the sigh and the smoke you had let escape your lungs just now. He noticed your body relax after and internally thanked himself over and over again for not making the situation awkward by attempting to comfort you like he wanted to. When you finally broke the silence, he let out a sigh of his own. A sound of relief that went unnoticed by you.

"Horrible movie choices, by the way. I can't believe you let Robin pick!" He couldn't help but laugh at your snarky comment and threw his hands up in defense. "Hey, I had to! I told you earlier, those were the stakes of the bet and I lost." He paused as you shot him a sideways look. Curiosity, this time. And it was only obvious because you wanted it to be. He swayed nervously before adding another statement to avoid an interrogation. "I may be a sore loser, but I know when to admit defeat..." No, he didn't. "....for the most part." He corrected himself and followed it up with a smile as he ran his hand through his perfect hair to help soften the humility. It didn't work. "You're right though. Horrible movie choices."

Steve thought he managed to escape an explanation but you crushed that hope after inhaling another puff. "So what were the terms of the bet?" His mouth fell open slightly and his eyes searched every square inch of the back yard for an answer. Any answer that sounded better than the ACTUAL answer.

"Steve?" It was the way you said his name that ripped him from his thoughts. The tone was mostly curious, like before. But he detected a hint of nervousness, as if you might suspect it would be something you wouldn't want to hear. He realized he was silent for too long by now to play it off as something that didn't actually matter. Right as he mustered up the courage to say anything at all, you raised your palm up to him weakly and laughed it off. "Alright, alright. You don't have to tell me."

Taking in the last of the cigarette, your eyes wandered to a spot across the yard that opened up into a wooded area. The woods usually didn't bother you much during the day but at night, especially tonight, it seemed much more ominous. Plucking up a little bit of courage yourself, you headed in that direction, hoping that the way you were trudging over would be enough to intimidate whatever....or whoever could possibly be lurking in the shadows. You knew it was unlikely anyone would be out there but you kept your walk confident for good measure. Confusion flooded Steve's face and he called after you, forgetting all about trying to keep his voice down. "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

He couldn't wait long enough for you to answer. His feet carried him forward to follow behind you before he could stop himself. Hearing his hurried steps a few feet behind you, you turned your head and called back to him over your shoulder, not breaking stride. "Relax, Harrington. I'm just trying to be a polite house guest and dispose of my cigarette butt somewhere other than your backyard."

At this, he slowed down but continued to follow you until you reached the edge of the perfectly manicured lawn. You bent down to make sure the cigarette was completely out, snubbing the end in the damp grass before taking it between your thumb and middle finger and flicking it into the woods. You hadn't noticed it so much before but it was quiet out there. Almost too quiet. It was deafening. You turned back to Steve, desperate to hear anything at all to rid yourself of the shiver that ran down your spine. It wasn't from the cold this time.

You nearly bumped into him a second time as he stood directly in front of you now, looking down at you with gentle eyes. He didn't know you knew but every now and again, you'd catch him doing this - trying to study your expressions in an attempt to piece together how you were feeling or what you were thinking. You also noticed he'd get flustered if he couldn't figure it out. The corners of your mouth turned up slightly and you raised a brow with a challenge.

"You know.....I COULD just ask Robin." His eyes got wider and he crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head a little quicker than he probably intended. "Robin? Wh-what do you mean ask Robin? Ask Robin what?" You let your head fall to the side and let out a soft chuckle. If it wasn't clear before, it was clear now. Steve was nervous. Poking your index finger into his chest lightly, you took a step toward him without breaking eye contact. "You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about."

You noticed he swallowed hard and took a step back as you took your step closer. But his eyes never left yours. You let your finger drop from his chest and it looked as though he frowned a little. 'Maybe I should stop messing with him...did I hurt his feelings somehow?' You ran through the last few minutes of conversation in your head but couldn't pin point what may have caused a sudden change in his behavior. The playful look on your face turned into a suspicious one.

"Harrington, I'm talking about the bet.....what did you think I was talking about?" Your brows furrowed without you even realizing. His eyes fell to his feet and his hands returned to his hips as he shifted his weight. One foot to the other. Trying to lighten the mood, you brought the back of your hand up to his forehead as if checking for a fever. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Before your hand could make contact with his forehead, he grabbed it and pulled it away from his face, bringing it casually back down to your side. But he didn't let go of it. The confusion spread across your features now and you realized something really was wrong. You stayed quiet to give him the opportunity to speak and when he finally did, his gaze stayed fixed on his feet.

"It's about the bet." His words were short. He lifted his head to look across the yard and ran his free hand over his face in an anxious manner. It bothered you that just a second ago, he had no problem making eye contact with you but now he was doing everything he could to avoid it. Your voice came out a little more hushed than you intended, but it had a bite to it now. "What about it, Steve?" He rolled his head back and blew out a heavy breath before finally bringing his eyes back down to look at you again.

"During the last shift I worked with Robin, we were discussing my uh....my love life...." You smirked and narrowed your eyes. Why was he so nervous about that? You guys always discussed his love life at work. Still unsure of why this was so hard for him to tell you, you stayed silent and nodded at him reassuringly to keep going. He nodded back and gulped before opening his mouth again to speak.

"Long story short, Buckley tried to say I get too flustered when I talk to women now and I argued that wasn't the case...." He bit his bottom lip and pulled his hand through his hair again, realizing that even in this very moment, he was proving Robin right. He groaned internally at the thought of having to admit it later, already irritated over it. The irritation showed as his empty hand flew up before slapping back down to his thigh.

"Well. She basically told me to show up or shut up and bet that I wouldn't ask you out on a date. In her words," Both of his hands came up this time, abandoning yours at your side and he wiggled two fingers from each to signify air quotations, "it 'should be easier with her since you guys are already good friends.'" He dropped them to cross his arms up in defense as he continued. "She said she thought it might be harder to ask a stranger since I've been striking out left and right at Scoops."

You whispered with a breathy laugh and crossed your arms, unintentionally mirroring him. "Classic Robin." It turned into a giggle as you and Steve shared a knowing look. With a sudden realization, the confusion reappeared on your face and you pointed a finger at him again.

"Wait. You DID score a date though! Tomorrow night, right? I picked up your closing shift so you could go out with....." you winced as you struggled to remember the right name. It spilled from your lips slowly so he could correct you at any point if you got it wrong. "Mmmmiiiiinnndy?" He confirmed by saying her name at the same time you did, but his version was shorter and more precise. "Mindy, yeah. I uh....I made her up."

You slowly moved your hand up to your mouth to hide another giggle, your eyes wider now. "You made her up?! Why?!" The amusement in your voice was becoming harder to hide. He rubbed the back of his neck and the blush that covered his ears and cheeks earlier found it's place again, more intense this time.

"You know how Robin is! Relentless. I knew if I didn't make the attempt to follow through in some way, I'd never hear the end of it. So I told her I actually already had a date scheduled with 'Mindy'. That way, I wouldn't have to ask you out and she wouldn't bother me about it anymore." You lowered your gaze and nodded as he shared his explanation.

"But if Robin knows about your 'date' with 'Mindy', why did you lose the bet?" He shrugged as he cracked a small smile. "Because Robin specified it had to be you." His eyes roamed your face again, trying desperately to read your thoughts but failing. He added to his last statement in a hurry as a last ditch effort to save face.

"I tried to argue my point that a date is a date but...well...." his laugh sounded forced but you did him a hidden favor and laughed with him, agreeing. "It's Robin. No, I totally get it."

You let the news process for a moment in silence before you reached out and gently punched his arm. "You DID mention you knew when to take a loss. So tell me, Harrington. Was it worth it?" Your eyebrows shot up and you flashed him a lopsided grin to match the teasing tone in your voice. He stuck out his thumb and gestured back toward the house. "With THOSE movie picks? No, absolutely not. Not at all."

His anxiety melted away as you laughed again at his sarcasm and he stepped a little closer to you, feeling brave. You let out a soft gasp at the sudden closeness but Steve was too preoccupied with making sure his next words came out as perfect as he could manage to notice. "Look...I just want to say...."

'Do it, Harrington. Do it now. You might not get another chance like this...' The bravery was short-lived but his eyes stayed locked on yours. "...I just want to say that -"

His voice was cut off by another in the distance. A loud one, proceeded by the sound of a door slamming shut. Steve flinched without turning to look and you glanced over his shoulder at it's source.

"I CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYS LEFT ME IN THERE BY MYSELF! HELLO?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET? OR ANY OTHER HORROR MOVIE FOR THAT MATTER? I KNOW YOU HAVE BECAUSE WE WATCH THEM TOGETHER! YOU KNOW...TOGETHER...AS IN ALL OF US IN THE SAME ROOM...."

You both laughed and shook your heads as Robin continued to scream at you from across the yard. You couldn't see her too well from this far away, but her eyes still held evidence of a heavy sleep and she had the blanket wrapped around her like a cloak, shielding her from the cold you had all but forgotten was there until now.

"ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

With this, Steve turned himself slightly to yell back. "KEEP IT DOWN, BUCKLEY, I HAVE NEIGHBORS!" Robin forced a hand through the blanket and threw up her middle finger in response before stomping back in the house. As the door slammed shut again and the coast seemed to be clear, he turned back to you and pointed toward the spot Robin had just disappeared from. "Why is she like this?"

The smile stayed planted on your face. "I don't know....but I guess that's our cue to get back inside." You pulled at his sleeve as a non-verbal gesture to follow you and you both started your walk back to the house. As you reached the door you placed your hand on the knob and turned back to Steve before opening it. Curiosity struck again.

"I'm sorry....you just wanted to sayyyyyy...." you dragged the last word out as if waiting for him to finish the sentence Robin had interrupted moments before. "...you know....before Robin so rudely interrupted..."

Steve's eyebrows flew up in surprise at the question before settling on an answer. Not THE answer. But an answer. He could feel his face warm up this time and tried to cut it off by making his response quick. "Oh, uh, I just wanted to say you don't have to work my shift tomorrow night. You know. Since Mindy won't be making it." You both chuckled.

"You mean since Mindy doesn't exist. I'll remember this, Harrington." You ruffled his hair lightly with your free hand. "Also, dont worry about it. I can still cover. I need the money anyway so just keep the night off." Before he could protest, you twisted the knob and pushed the door open. You braced yourself for the mouthful of silly insults and questions Robin was about to bombard you both with, as if she was actually angry. And just as you suspected, you couldn't even get through the door before she grabbed your arm and yanked you back to the couch, pulling you down next to her as she started in with the interrogation.

Steve stepped in right behind you, watching as Robin hauled you off to the living room. Making sure he was truly alone for the moment, he let out a dejected sigh and closed the door behind him. He stayed planted in front of the door and monitored your conversation from afar. Robin waved her arms wildly at you in mock annoyance. He could barely make out what was being said, finding himself just out of earshot, but he had a few ideas.

In his opinion, you seemed to be handling Robin's interrogation gracefully. That was until Robin's eyes finally landed on him and she jabbed a finger in his direction. "AND YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU TOO!" He snickered and shoved his hands in his pockets, sauntering over to join the two of you on the couch to accept his verbal punishment. There was never a dull moment, which could get overwhelming at times. But he knew he wouldn't trade these moments for anything. He couldn't help the smile spreading over his face as he attempted to comfort himself. 'Maybe next time, Harrington.'

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[eviebakes]

Hiya Evie! Hope you're having a wonderful weekend 😁. For the asks, how about 15, 22, and 36.

Hi Shipz!! I hope your week is going well—thanks for your patience on this one and thank you so much for the ask! :)

15. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?

One of the weirdest—or most random—things that’s ever happened to me is when I moved into my last place. It was a ground floor condo—something people on the east coast call a mother-in-law suite—and the movers came to deliver my household goods. I had the screen door + door propped wide open for the movers, and I was opening boxes in the dining room area while they assembled furniture. I’m reaching into a box when I see movement out of the corner of my eye—so I turn and see a 3 ft snake just sliding on in through the door. For a moment I’m gobsmacked cause there’s no fucking way—I have to be seeing things—but I step out in time to watch it slither under the fridge.

One of the movers walks out from the back as I’m staring at the fridge and I’m like “uh a snake just came inside? Can you, uh, help me with that?” And he looks at me like “oh no, I don’t do snakes.” Which. Fair. So I go to the fridge and I’m pulling and shoving this thing to no avail and the dude takes pity on me and helps me pull out the fridge. The snake is coiled in the corner, so I frantically google what type it is and am relieved when I land on garden snake. I go grab my swiffer and use it to move the snake towards the door—and it immediately starts attacking the swiffer. With many start stops, I finally manage to herd it outside after a few mins 🥲

22. Do you have a collection of cool rocks?

I did when I was younger—especially the ones with fossils! I still have a few from childhood, and I totally tend to pick up rocks from places when I travel (and to look for them when I hike).

36. How many alarms do you have set?

Just one alarm! But if I have something big I have to get up for, I set 2 or 3 just in case 😂

[evereinefaust]

*.·:·.✧ 𝐓𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ✧.·:·.*

"I can't believe today's our last day on this resort... How time flies when you're having fun..."

[Y/n] let out a muted sigh, releasing her emotions into the breeze. Her half-lidded eyes stared at the beautiful scenery of a Saturday morning. Her arms were on the metal railing, leaning against it as she lounged on their hotel room balcony. Unlike before, the girl decided to give herself a treat and wake up an hour earlier than usual.

The cool breeze brushing past her figure coupled with the warm rays of the sun kissing her skin was such a perfect combination to welcome a wonderful morning. [Y/n] had already done her morning routine, and now she was just relaxing in a peaceful atmosphere.

Since she had woken earlier, her roommates were still sleeping in their respective beds, providing her the silence that she desired. However, the bustling Sunset Street and the chirps of the passing birds were enough to bring a bit of melody to her ears.

"I wonder what else I could do with the others today..." she muttered, musing for ideas to have one last venture with her friends before they eventually returned home. "Hm..."

Amidst her musing, a sudden vibration in her pocket and the 'ping' sound it emitted alerted the girl. She took out her phone from her shorts and checked the notification. It was a text message coming from a certain someone.

Raligon [Y/n], are you awake? You don't have to reply to this right away when you get this. Though, I was wondering if you're free today. I'm planning on having a picnic at Ever Garden with the others. I've asked Johan, Joshua, Fram, and Vanessa and they all will be coming. This will be a wonderful picnic if you're able to come. (´• ω •`) ♡

The girl chuckled upon seeing the barrage of messages sent by a particular redheaded male. Add also the fact that he just sent an adorable emoji at the end of his message. That was the one that made her heart swell and her cheeks hurt from the permanent smile on her lips.

"How cute~" she cooed, her fingers moving across the screen to type in her reply.

[Y/n] Morning, Ral~ (⁀ᗢ⁀) What time do you need me for the picnic? Also, you know that I won't pass up on an opportunity like this! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

Raligon I see that you're awake. Hehe. I was surprised — don't you usually wake up at 6?

[Y/n] Well, since it's our last day here, I just decided to wake up an hour early to fully enjoy my last day. Besides, we'll be spending a long time on the plane, later on, just sleeping. So it's fine if I wake up early and spend most of the day outside and wasting my energy cuz' I'll be able to sleep for a long time on the plane~ Isn't that a win? (*￣∇￣*)

Raligon Ahaha! I see. Alright, then. How about we have the picnic this morning? So that you can do other activities right after. I'll inform the others. Let's meet up at the hotel entrance in 15 mins, alright?

[Y/n] Alrighty~ See ya later, Ral!

"Ufufu~ I'm excited!"

Giggling to herself, the girl pocketed her phone. She went back inside the room and began preparing for the picnic later on.

"Morning, [Y/n]," Vanessa's mellow voice spoke, her gentle gaze landing on a particular [h/c]-haired female.

"Good morning, Vanessa! Morning, Joshua! Morning, Fram! Morning, Raligon! Morning, Johan!" she chirped, skipping towards the group by the side of the hotel entrance.

The five of them didn't fail to notice the literal sparkles emanating from this child, a cheery aura surrounding her. Since she was this lively this early morning, they knew that her energy level would diminish fast throughout the day. Nonetheless, it appears that her fuel won't be emptying any time soon when with them.

"You look cute in your outfit!" Fram complimented, making the girl blush a bit.

"Really?" she gave a twirl, showing off the dress that she was wearing.

She was wearing a short-sleeved, sailor uniform-styled dress. The dress is mainly white and light blue and reaches just above her knee. The puffed-styled short sleeve has a light blue frill on the end, and the striped collar was also colored light blue and was longer than usual, embellished with a small light blue ribbon below it. Although the garment was one piece, the dress was designed like a uniform — with the top part being purely white to imitate the blouse and the skirt part being solid light blue. The final item that serves as the centerpiece of her outfit is the striped, light blue ribbon at the back of her dress.

Fully going with the summer sailor uniform style, the young actress also wore knee-length, white socks and light blue, low-heeled, Mary Jane school shoes complete with the strap. She also styled her hair and adorned it with a matching light blue hairband.

"You look nice," Johan seconded, smiling gently as his dark orbs glanced over the girl's overall appearance.

The pink-haired man also smiled, amused by the childish look she pulled with her choice of clothes. "Did you choose to wear that because it's summer?"

"Bingo!" [Y/n] snapped her fingers and pointed at him with both hands forming a handgun, winking and grinning at him. "Besides, for the past few days, I wasn't able to properly dress up since most of the time I'm just in a swimsuit. So yeah."

"You're right," Raligon hummed. "Should we all go now?"

"Heck yeah!" the black-haired woman cheered, fist-pumping the air.

The gang began walking to the park. The walk takes about 15 minutes from the hotel to the park, and unlike before, [Y/n] and her group didn't rent a bike to travel to their destination. But the girl is fine with that since she can spend more time with her friends like this — talking while walking.

The warm rays of the morning sun and the gentle breeze passing by send a comforting feeling to the group, making them relax under this weather. [Y/n] engaged in a small conversation with them, narrating stories to each other about the individual adventures they went on over the past few days.

"We're here!" Raligon announced, taking a step into the luscious hillside park.

"Whoah! The place looks great!" Fram's blue orbs widened and sparkled at the sight.

The blooming Ever Garden. It is the only garden park on the entire resort island. Compared to a normal park, it wasn't that big to allow numerous people to hang around. And compared to a normal garden, it wasn't teeming with greenery all around. Ever Garden was like a combination of the two — a small park that can accommodate a couple of tourists to let them enjoy the scenery from above and relax under the shade of crape myrtles.

"This will be my first time having a picnic up here. I'm excited."

Fortunately for the group, there weren't any people around. Maybe because it was still early in the morning or this place isn't very popular amongst the tourists. Either way, it just means that they get to seize this place and opportunity for themselves.

Raligon went over in the open space, just a little bit under the shade of the crape myrtle trees, and rolled out a large picnic blanket. Johan went over and helped the redhead to place the item and smooth out the area. Then, Vanessa and Joshua placed down the large picnic baskets they were holding and got the necessary items out, carefully placing them on the mat. As for the remaining girls, they were by the edge of the hill, admiring the beautiful summer morning.

"You haven't visited this place, right?" [Y/n] asked, her gaze landing on the ravenette beside her.

Fram shook her head, her eyes still admiring the view from above. "No. I only went exploring the other side. Most of the time I'm at the beach."

"Right," the younger girl giggled. "The weather up here is pretty nice and relaxing. I'm glad that we're having a leisurely picnic here."

"Mhm."

"Fram, [Y/n]. Join us," Vanessa called out, a bright smile decorating her lips. "I made some snacks I wanted you guys to try out."

At the mention of food, [Y/n]'s face instantly lit up. At the same time, her stomach growled lowly, the hunger immediately making itself known. The raven-haired adult snickered, as she heard the sound, making the younger actress flush red in embarrassment.

"Alright, let's go," Fram turned around and returned to the group.

The picnic blanket was large enough for the six of them to occupy. [Y/n] positioned herself beside Johan and Joshua, in front of her was Raligon and the two girls were between the boys. In the middle were plates of bite-sized foods — profiteroles, mini blueberry cheesecakes, eclairs, french toast bites, and apple pie bites. There's also a plate of sandwiches with different fillings.

Just staring at the abundance of food in front of her, [Y/n] felt like she was already in heaven. She gulped, trying her hardest not to show an embarrassing side of her such as drooling. Nonetheless, just like two days before at the cafe, the young actress can't help but be enticed by these sweets.

Noticing her concentrated gaze on the desserts, the brunette female let out a light chuckle, hiding her mouth behind her fist. She then pushed a plate of mini blueberry cheesecakes toward the girl, the action surprising her which successfully broke her out of her trance.

"Here, have a bite," the older woman coaxed.

[Y/n] blinked, glancing in Vanessa's direction. "Really?"

"Of course, Joshua and I made these to be eaten."

"Thankies then~" At that permission, the young [h/c]ette didn't hesitate to take a piece and drop it inside her awaiting mouth. As soon as she bit into the treat, the ripe flavor of the blueberry and the savory cheesecake base enveloped her tastebuds. Her cheeks flushed pink, feeling her eyes water at the delectable dessert. "So dewicious!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Joshua chided, getting his cup of tea as Vanessa poured him one.

Johan simpered, taking a handkerchief and wiping away a crumb from the girl's face. "Eat slowly, [Y/n]."

"Ah! Why'd you do that?" the girl pouted, knitting her eyebrows and narrowing her eyes at the blonde.

"Do what? Wiping your face?" the blonde blinked in confusion, sweat-dropping at receiving this look from her.

"I could've eaten the crumbs instead," she whined, her lower lips puckering as she took another bite-sized treat.

The blonde chuckled, rubbing his temple sheepishly. "I see."

"There's enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take one," Vanessa said.

"Don't mind if I do~" Fram took a sandwich and began munching on it.

Johan jolted in surprise upon seeing how big a bite the black-haired female took of the sandwich, her mouth already full. He frowned, shaking his head in disapproval. "Take small bites, Fram. You'll choke at this rate."

"Uh-huh," nonchalantly nodding, the woman instead focused on stuffing her face with food.

In the end, the blonde resigned. He exhaled, face-palming. "Really..."

The group took about two hours lounging at Ever Garden, relaxing underneath the shade of the crape myrtle tree as they ate and chatted. Due to the appetite of Fram and [Y/n], the desserts that Vanessa and Joshua prepared for this picnic were gone in an instant. Of course, everyone got a taste of each treat, but those particular duo gobbled the remaining food on the plate.

After they finished, they cleaned up the place and returned everything inside the picnic basket. [Y/n] did some light stretching after sitting on the ground for too long, leaning against the wooden banisters by the edge of the hill. Fram decided to walk around the area, Johan following her. As for Vanessa and Joshua, they discovered the lone grand piano located a few feet overhead.

"Such a nice breeze..."

Closing both of her eyes, the young actress inhaled the salty aroma of the wind, its coolness brushing past her form and making her hair sway in its direction. Opening them up again, she let her eyes adjust and then stared at the gondola lift moving nearby. She smiled, listening to the waves of the ocean crashing on the shore, the warble of the seagulls, and the soft bustle of tourists on the main street.

"A penny for your thoughts?" a certain redhead spoke, his soft voice alerting her of his sudden presence. 

[Y/n] glanced beside her to see Raligon's gentle expression. She offered up a smile, mirroring his visage. "Hey, Ral. Just thinking about how peaceful this morning is."

"Mhm, you're right," he agreed, turning his head towards the open ocean.

"By the way, why did Brandon not come? Was he still asleep?"

At the mention of his best friend, Raligon's face grimaced. He let out a sheepish chuckle, rubbing his temple. "He's still sleeping."

[Y/n] immediately raised a brow, her curiosity piquing at his nervous reply. [E/c] pools squinted, her lips pursed into a thin line as she let out a long hum. "What happened?"

"I don't think Brandon wants me to tell you," he smiled apologetically.

"Tch..." she pouted.  "You're no fun, Ral."

"Ahaha..."

"Oh, [Y/n]," a certain silver-haired female spoke, her pinkish-yellow hues widening a bit after seeing a particular girl walking up the pavement.

"Oh," upon seeing her, [Y/n]'s face lit up. "Morning, Syphfride! Morning, everyone!"

Right behind the silverette were three more of the actors. Zaira, Laphlaes, and Charles acknowledged the girl approaching them, each giving their greetings to the younger actress. Stopping just a few feet from them, the [h/c]ette tilted her head, curious as to why the group was outside the hotel just by the sidewalk.

"Are you guys going somewhere?"

"We're going to try out the spa nearby," Laphlaes answered her question, the corner of his lips curving up to a small smile.

"A spa?"

"Sapphire Springs, it's just a few minutes walk from the hotel," the tanned redhead answered her thoughts. She then gave the younger girl a pamphlet about the said spa. "The four of us decided to try it out."

"Wow..." [Y/n] muttered, her eyes darting from the listing on the pamphlet. After, she returned her attention to them. "I forgot about the spa."

Syphfride chuckled. "Well then, do you want to join us?"

"Mhm!" nodding fervently, the young actress's orbs sparkled in excitement.

After learning of this new endeavor, [Y/n] decided to join the adults and try out the spa this island resort offered. The young girl returned to her hotel room for a while, getting the necessary items for the trip. It took her about 10 minutes to get her stuff, putting her necessities inside her small sling bag. Once she was out of the hotel and rejoined the others, they then made their way to Sapphire Springs.

Finally arriving at the spa, the adults began to talk to the front desk employee and discussed the various services and activities offered by the facility. While the adults were busy conversing with the employee, [Y/n]'s wandering gaze examined the interior of the establishment. The walls were painted a bright white and were decorated with a variety of plants and naturalistic paintings that looked rather pretty. There was one huge entrance leading to an elevator, and another one leading to the second floor with stairs at its side. The ceiling was high and had a glass chandelier hanging there. The floor was marble, with a very plush carpet. There was a large table near the center of the lobby which was set with some food already on it, the chairs were placed around the table, and there was an open fireplace at one end of the reception hall.

"Wow...this spa looks as luxurious as the hotel itself."

"[Y/n]."

"Hm?" whipping her head at the girl, she was met with the faces of her friends. "What is it?"

"Since there's a lot of services offered, we decided to split up and enjoy different ones separately," Syphfride explained. "What do you want to do first? So that if one of us has the same agenda, we can accompany you."

"Oh, I see. Well..." Taking the pamphlet in her hand, the young girl carefully mulled over what services she wanted to get out of this spa. After a moment of thinking, she faced them again. "I'm thinking of going for a package — the Sapphire treatment package."

"Alright," the silver-haired woman nodded, smiling. "Let's go together."

The gang went off their separate ways, being accompanied by a couple of employees. Zaira opted for aromatherapy massage, going with Syphfride and [Y/n] in the same direction for the massage therapy session. Laphlaes chose a body treatment while Charles preferred to have facial treatment first, thus going in different directions from the girls. Although [Y/n] was being accompanied by a couple of employees and two of her female friends, they soon parted as each of them went into their room and began the session.

Being led by a masseuse, the young girl nervously entered the room. Her heartbeat quickened when the door closed behind her. To distract herself from her racing heart, she let her eyes wander around the room, observing its interior. In the middle of the room was the massage bed, a round sofa facing against the walls, a lamp placed on it, and a chair with a cushion next to it. Then there was a cabinet full of bottles containing oils and lotions. It even has other necessary equipment such as candles, glass cups, and flat rocks for the different types of massage the client needs.

"Miss, is this your first time having a full-body massage?" the masseuse asked, her gentle voice breaking the [h/c]ette out of her trance.

"H-huh? O-oh, yes," she stuttered, turning her attention back to the older lady who was currently preparing massage oil.

"Don't be nervous, miss," the blonde observed her, the corner of her lips curving into a gentle smile. "I'll guide you all the way. So you just need to relax."

Inhaling and exhaling all of her worries, the young actress nodded. "Alright."

"First, please remove all of your clothes save for your lower underwear, Miss. There's a basket underneath the bed where you can put all of your belongings and clothes," the woman instructed. "After, you may lay on the bed, stomach down. I'll wait for you outside."

"Uh...okay, sure," [Y/n] murmured in affirmation.

As the masseuse left and closed the door, she quickly removed everything but her panties, tossing them inside the basket and pushing them beneath the bed. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, the young girl lay on her stomach on the bed. Fortunately, the massage bed had a hole where the client's head would be positioned so that they could breathe. Furthermore, it has a pillow that is very similar to a neck pillow.

"Are you finished, Miss? May I come in?" the woman asked through the door, knocking.

"I'm done. You may come in please," [Y/n] replied, making sure her voice was loud so that the woman could hear her.

As the door opened and closed, [Y/n] heard the light footsteps of the masseuse against the plank floor. The masseuse then covered her up with a body towel, adjusting her position so that she could start massaging her client.

Although the [h/c]-haired actress was nervous as this was her first time going to a spa and experiencing a full body massage, she eventually relaxed and enjoyed the 1-hour and 30-minute massage session. The jazz music playing in the background, the aromatic oils as the masseuse's hands pressed against her back was enough to make the teen almost fall asleep. Especially after she woke up earlier than usual and was awake for the whole morning. And even though she almost fell into a peaceful slumber, she was still able to catch herself and snap awake.

The entire massage session was quite pleasant. Very enjoyable in fact. And when it ended and [Y/n] got out of the room, she couldn't help but feel refreshed and happy from the experience. Though, of course, she was still not done. After all, she chose a package, and the massage was just the first on the list of treatments she would be experiencing today. The next one would be facial treatment, and the manicure and pedicure.

"I wonder how long will it take..."

"What are you writing about?" a certain girl chirped, leaning over the shoulder of the blue-haired female.

Mu jolted up in surprise at the girl's sudden appearance. As she covered her paper with her hand, the blunette slightly turned her head around to face the [h/c]ette. [Y/n] grinned at her with closed eyes.

"It's nothing special..." Mu murmured, her cheeks flushing pink in embarrassment.

"Eh~? But I'm curious!" [Y/n] childishly pouted, her brows furrowed as her round [e/c] hues were doing the puppy eyes.

The other girl pursed her lips, her gaze switching back and forth between her friend and the covered paper in her hand.  But in the end, she decided not to divulge the contents of the letter to [Y/n]. "Sorry, I'm still not finished writing it."

"Hm~" [Y/n] stood to her full height, her eyes squinting with mischief as a smirk replaced her earlier grin. Humming, she then gave Mu a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Alrighty then~"

Mu sighed in relief as the [h/c]-haired actress finally decided the matter was over before she went back to writing down what the letter had contained. Though, of course, it didn't mean that the [h/c]-haired was done being nosy. Mei Ling was at the same table, just seated in front of the blue-haired actress. She, as well, was busy writing her message in a bottle.

"Mei Ling~"

"Yes, [Y/n]? Is something the matter?" the raven-haired woman said, pausing her writing to glance in the girl's direction.

"Nothing much, just curious about what you're writing in your message in a bottle," she casually said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Mei Ling offered a small smile, her heterochromia hues softening. "Just expressing my gratitude for the wonderful vacation we've been gifted."

"Hm... I see," she hummed.

After answering her question, Mei Ling returned to her task. She just finished writing and proceeded to roll her paper and tie it with a twine. [Y/n] decided not to disturb them any longer and let her gaze scan the vicinity for any new targets. However, it didn't take her long to find one. A few tables over, she saw a particular group of men sitting together. Each of them has a paper and pen in hand, writing something. Her smirk turned cat-like in an instant, hopping towards the table.

"Hello, dear gentlemen," she cheerfully greeted the table.

"Hey, kiddo!" Aslan grinned.

"Morning, [Y/n]," Walther smiled, looking up.

The four other men gave a nod or hum in acknowledgment of her presence. All six of them were — just like Mu and Mei Ling — writing their message in a bottle. [Y/n] felt her heart swell up in happiness because of this. Two days before, the girl had a sudden idea of sending a message in a bottle into the ocean before leaving the resort. It was an idea that popped into her head after loitering at the gift shop and spotting the display of bottles there. Then, just out of nowhere, she sent a message to everyone about wanting to let a bottle drift into the open seas containing their messages.

Although, she wasn't expecting everyone to get on board with the idea. That's why it truly surprised her when she met the others buying glass bottles and writing letters to put in them. And she was more than happy to see them unanimously agree. That's why she won't let this chance pass to try and take a peek at what they're writing about.

The girl sidled up to Walther, tilting her head in a way that subtly peered into his paper. "What's the content of your message, Grandpa Walther?"

The old man let out a low chuckle, rubbing his white beard. "Ohoho. Just telling people that this place has amazing beach views, that's all."

[Y/n] blinked innocently. "Ooh~ Is that so? Sounds great!"

"You seem interested in all of our thoughts and writings today, huh, kiddo?" Aslan asked with an eyebrow raised in amusement.

[Y/n] chuckled, shaking her head playfully in reply. "Of course! I'm quite curious about what you guys write in your messages! After all, after letting it drift into the sea, who knows if someone would read it?"

"So you're each questioning us about the contents of our message before we send it to the sea?" Biryu questioned, tilting his head to the side.

She nodded, grinning. "Yep~"

"Ah, I see," the raven-haired man hummed, continuing his writing.

The young girl skipped around the table, examining the contents of each male's letter. Fortunately for her, they were generous enough to let her take a peek. Aslan, in particular, was more than welcome to share his message and thoughts for the letter to her. He knew the girl was a curious little creature and he enjoyed making her happy. [Y/n] would start a small talk with one of them, trying to pry off a bit of information in regards to the letter writing.

After Aslan, she slid next to Dhurahan, watching in silence as he was busy writing what seemed to be multiple short letters. A small smile emerged on her face at that, chuckling to herself. The brown-haired male then divulges the contents of his letter to her after writing it. Next, she went in between Biryu and Aries, her gaze switching back and forth between the two males as they silently continued writing their messages.

"This is it, huh...?"

Clenching on the item in her hands, [Y/n] glanced in the direction of the beach, watching as the waves gently crashed against the shore. It was already a little after noon, the crew had already packed their baggage and checked out of the hotel. Now, they're just waiting for the bus that'll be fetching them to arrive in a few minutes.

Everyone was by the vacant beach, each of them letting go of the message in a bottle and letting it drift in the ocean. The girl stayed back, waiting for the rest to finish their turn before she went. Besides, with that many people throwing their bottles in the ocean, she's sure that some of those will drift back to the shore.

A smile emerged on her lips while watching them — most of them would gently drop the bottle in the water, while others decided to throw it in the distance in different ways. When they finished, one by one, they walked back to the streets.

"Yo, [Y/n]! Did you drop your bottle already?" Astrid shouted from afar, cupping her hands around her mouth as she continued walking.

"I'll do mine next!" the girl shouted back, waving back at the group.

"Alright! See ya later!" waving, Astrid and the others then left the beach, now walking on solid ground.

When the last group of people left the beach, [Y/n] decided to have her turn next. Her gaze was fixed on the sand, watching as her shoes sank into the fine grains. The soft crunch entered her ears, her eyelids dropping halfway. When the sound of the waves gradually grew louder, she knew that she was near.

She stopped a second later, noticing the wet sand and the coming and going of the water. Releasing a deep sigh, she slowly lifted her head, eyes adjusting to the sudden change in lighting. In the distance, she could see reflections of light hitting the transparent bottles. Fortunately, none seems to be stuck at the shore.

"It's finally my turn, huh?" she murmured, gently caressing her small message in a bottle.

She lifted her bottle, examining the rolled-up paper inside. Her [e/c] pools drooped, the sudden moisture blurring her vision. And although she had a ghost of a smile on her lips, her facade was a mixture of many different emotions. Happiness — for all of the experiences she created with her friends. Sadness — as they would be leaving this wonderful place today. Nostalgia — for this moment will turn into memory when they return.

As much as the young girl was reluctant to leave, she knew that she still had to go. This may be her first time going on an awesome vacation overseas, but she deeply hoped that this wouldn't be the last she'd be visiting this resort.

She felt a slight twinge in her heart, followed by its rapid rhythm. And although she was feeling emotional at this eventual departure, she reminded herself that she still had the people dear to her by her side. So, with a final resolve, she bent down, extended her hand into the water and slowly opened her palm. As soon as the waves arrived, it picked up the bottle and took it with it.

The girl stood back up, dusting her clothes as she watched her bottle gradually receding into the vast, blue ocean... alongside the other bottles now in the open sea. 

"I hope that we can return to this resort next time..."

"[Y/n]! It's time to go!"

Swiveling her body around, she then jogged towards the group. "Coming, oppa!"

"You sure took your time there," Dietrich commented as his younger sister finally returned. After wiping her forehead, he then ushered her forward.

"Well, it'll be the last I'll be seeing this beautiful scenery," she tittered, walking alongside her family as they boarded the bus taking them to the airport. But of course, the [h/c]ette took one last peek at the ocean, her expression softening significantly.

"Goodbye Diamond Resort. Thank you for allowing me to create wonderful memories with the people dear to me."

I once read something about sending your wish into the ocean through a bottle. It was an old tradition, and people believe that your wish will come true soon. Although I barely believe in myths like that, the very notion intrigued me. It sounds hopeful. Even nostalgic. That's why, I decided to give it a try. I'm very thankful for this wonderful blessing that I got — to spend an entire week with my friends and family, to create beautiful memories with them. I just wish that this happiness would last longer... even if forever's not possible, I hope that our lives will be filled with lots of pleasant memories. I love them with all my heart... and I wish for a better future for all of us.

[bratkook]

right now. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost , right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, smut, idiots to lovers!! word count. 14.8k warnings. two mega fucking idiots<33, miscommunication/dumb assumptions, smut in forms of: fingering, oral sex (f.), orgasm denial, spanking, some spit bc duh, unprotected sex, super sweet & lovey!! also jungkook is a sweetheart pls love him summary. coming to terms with your feelings after getting off to the idea of your close friend is a little harder than you thought, but how long can you take before jungkook decides its time to move on? note. did jlin forget how to write for a few weeks? yes, yes she did....i know this took a long time but life is rough man so forgive me... but anyways lol the final part to the not yet!verse is hereeeee! thank you to @kithtaehyung​ for reading this over for me ily!! thank you guys for enjoying this mini series, the response was really unexpected but im sososo happy over every comment/ask i’ve gotten for this story. once again, tysm for your love and let me know what you think<3

The evening sun illuminates Jungkook’s apartment, golden hour bouncing off every reflective surface and straight into his eyes the second he walks in, immediately squinting as he makes a beeline to shut the blinds. His head was already throbbing from the hangover that decided to peak around noon, a mean case of nausea putting a damper on his work day. So as much as he loved soaking in some vitamin D today was not the day. 

“Are you joking?” he huffs as he brings down the blinds, hand yanking at the flimsy string in an attempt to get it unstuck. “How stup—you’d think with the amount I pay every month in rent the blinds would work!” 

Alright, so maybe he was a little grumpy today, choosing to take it out on an inanimate object and blame it purely on the bad decisions made last night—definitely had nothing to do with the residual moping of you going on a date. This could be fixed, easily. 

The first order of business? Texting you to see if you’d be interested in devouring greasy food from your favorite place down the street. He’d get to see you and finally put something in his stomach, it’s the best of both worlds really. 

Jungkook forgets about the blinds, leaving them stuck in the awkward position as he walks away entirely, fishing his phone out of his pocket while he enters his room. It’s the same text he always sends when he’s hangry: If I don’t get food in the next 15 mins I'm burning this place down and taking you with me. 

He knows the response he’ll get, either that meme of the child in front of a burning house or an equally hangry paragraph. The phone gets tossed onto his bed as he changes out of his work clothes, needing to dispose of the business casual attire that was suffocating him, his old college hoodie giving him the comfort he needs. 

By the time he’s finally slipping on his sneakers he’s expecting you to come knocking on his door, your impatient attitude always putting a smile on his face. Half of the time your neighbors thought you were having arguments from the way you’d pound onto the slab of wood, saying his name with just enough annoyance laced into each syllable it would fool anyone into thinking you were actually upset instead of being a brat. But when that never comes, he reaches for his phone again. 

A few notifications fill up his screen, some instagram direct message previews, his group chat that he never responded to, and a few emails coming through, but you had yet to respond. Maybe it’s a little creepy, but Jungkook knows you’re home because he passed by your parked car on his way in. So his mind jumps to two extremes: you were either face down, drowning in your bathtub, or that yellow shades wearing wannabe version of himself was at your place. 

Not an ounce of shame sits within him as he speedwalks to the side his bed was on, placing both palms onto the wall before his ear was pressed against the cold drywall. Jungkook’s not really sure what would make him feel good, hearing you and Jung Hoseok together, or hearing nothing at all. His ears strain to hear anything, but the only sound he gets is his own blood pumping. 

With a small pout he pulls back, deciding he’d play the annoying neighbor role today and pound on your door instead. It’s a role he doesn’t take lightly, knuckles banging on the wood loud enough for you to hear wherever you were in your apartment. It takes a few minutes before any sign of life is shown, your door creaking open, and Jungkook is thankful because he was about to head to the maintenance office to ask for a key in case you actually were drowning in your bathtub. 

“C’mon, let’s get food,” he declares instantly, a charming smile on his face as he stands with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. The smile slowly falls off when he gets a good look at you, hair looking like a mess on your head and your fluffy blanket draped around you as you give out a weak cough. “Are you sick?”

“I think so,” you rasp out, leaning against your door frame and tugging the blanket tighter around you. 

“Did that fucker give you mono?” Jungkook looks irritated, brows pinched together in a grimace—something you’re definitely not accustomed to seeing so you almost don’t catch his accusation.

“Jungkook, no! It’s nothing serious.”

He doesn’t look fully convinced, but he shrugs anyways, positive you weren’t interested in getting interrogated when you were feeling under the weather. “Alright, let me know if you need me to drive you to the doctor if it becomes something serious.”

With a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you wave him off, slowly shutting the door behind you. Your eye immediately peeks through your peephole, not relaxing until he makes his way down the hall and enters the elevator, still on his quest for greasy food. 

“God, how old are you?” you grumble to yourself, yanking the blanket off your body and onto the floor with a huff. Pretending to be sick to avoid your friend was a new low, especially after the post-orgasm epiphany you had last night. A sane person would come to terms with their feelings and confess to them, uncertainty and possible rejection be damned! But you? No, you have to fake a cold like the giant coward you are. 

The guilt only deepens when a knock comes from your door an hour later, a quick peek through your peephole allowing you to see Jungkook setting two plastic bags on the floor before stepping back and walking to his apartment next door. You don’t come out until you hear his door shut, seeing the logo of your favorite diner down the street. No doubt would your comfort meal be inside the takeaway container. 

It takes all you have to not rush over to his place and say you were lying when you see he had also gone ahead and got you cold medication, a few different bottles because he surely didn’t know which was best, along with teas and some cough drops. 

You’re a dirty liar. A horrible friend too. 

That doesn’t stop you from devouring the meal in the takeout box as you’re hunched over your breakfast bar like a little gremlin. “This is just for today,” you mumble out to yourself as you set the plastic fork down and chug some of the leftover alcohol you had in your fridge. It’s your own version of a pity party, except the food feels heavy in your stomach, knowing the man you were avoiding was the one who bought it—bring on the guilt. 

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

You’re a dirty liar and horrible friend 2.0. Why this time? Because tomorrow stretched out a few more days than planned. It wasn’t entirely intentional at first, getting stuck at work longer than usual and missing the weekly hangout at your place where you got your remote covered in cheeto dust as you argued over what to watch. But it trickled down onto shorter replies to his texts, or you scrambling out of your apartment and into the elevator so fast in order to not run into him, your mind still trying to list all the pros and cons to this potential relationship before you even had the guts to confess to your feelings. 

Jungkook didn’t know thats what was occupying your mind, no he was currently thinking the worst. He notices the change instantly, recognizing it because this was the exact way you had acted while you were with Hajoon, right before you broke the news to him that you needed to keep some distance while you focused on your relationship. So Jungkook automatically assumes that your sudden change in behavior after going on a single date with Jung Hoseok, was because you wanted to make your relationship with this man work. 

His assumption stings—a lot actually—and soon enough he stops initiating conversations altogether. He didn’t want to hear you tell him you had to distance yourself again, he’s not sure his heart could handle that a second time, so he decides to get ahead of the curb and take a massive step away from you. It hurts him to know you’re right next door, and just like before, it’s like you’re back to being total strangers. 

Safe to say Jungkook was currently going on his own downward spiral. 

You could text him like nothing had happened and he’d accept it with open arms, but instead you text your best friend an SOS text, begging her to meet you at your place. She calls you dramatic at first, but once you say it’s about Jungkook she shows up at your place in record time. 

“Did you finally fuck him?” Is her greeting of choice, spoken shamelessly from the hallway with no worry about her volume. She cackles when you yank the bottle of wine from her grasp and tug her into your apartment, letting the door slam behind her. 

“You’re lucky he’s not home you bitch.” An eye roll is her only response, yanking the bottle back and making her way into your kitchen to grab the opener. 

“So you didn’t fuck him?” The cork pops at her question, a curious glance staring you down as she pours the red liquid into an oversized cup. 

“No Seulgi, I didn’t fuck him. But I did...something.” It makes your face warm up as you remember it, gratefully grabbing the cup she hands your way because you definitely need some liquid courage before confessing to your sins.

She hums in thought as she raids your pantry for something to munch on, settling on a bag of mini pretzels before leading you to your couch, needing to know the gossip that led to your sos text. “Okay, did you accidentally send him a nude then?”

“No, that wouldn’t be so bad I think?” Sending him an accidental nude would be laughable, probably resolved by a few screaming texts and dumb jokes before moving on. But new feelings seeing the light of day seemed so much worse. “But I sort of kissed him at a club a few weeks ago to get back at Hajoon—long story,” you cut in when you see her ready to fire off questions. 

“And then I went on that failed Tinder date I told you about, and when I got home I sort of heard him, you know,”— you mimic a jerking off motion with your hand and ignore her lewd gasp, “and then I…” you trail off shamefully. 

“No!” she gasps even louder, hand pressed to her mouth and eyes wide. 

“Yes! And the fucking orgasm opened my eyes and made me realize that maybe that tiny crush you guys always joke about him having is real, and maybe I have a tiny crush on him too.”

“Does he know?”

“That I like him?”

“No, that you rubbed one out while listening to him you dirty slut!” Oh she’s loving this, leaning back into your cushions with a handful of pretzels resting on her boobs, a sly smile on her lips as she takes a sip of her wine. She’s the one who planted the seed in your mind, playfully joking about Jungkook any chance she got, saying he had the hots for you because she enjoyed the flustered look on your face. No doubt would she text the group chat with the news the second you finish this cry for help. 

“Do you think I told him? I can barely come to terms with the fact that I like him. Like what am I supposed to do?”

She sighs dramatically, munching on the final pretzel on her tits before sitting up and dusting off the crumbs from her shirt. “Look, I know you’re just realizing that he likes you so this is still new and fresh for you, but we’ve noticed it for years. It’s fine that you didn’t see it, you had other things occupying your mind.” 

You frown as you stare at the rug beneath your feet, remembering how life was when you first moved into this complex. Getting out of a previous relationship weeks prior, when you had met Jungkook your mind was not interested in pursuing anything with him regardless of how cute you thought he was. It made it easier for you to form a friendship, not worried about trying to impress him, or flirt with him, allowing him to see you for who you truly are. 

Jungkook had his fair share of girlfriends during the years, none of which were entirely serious but by the time he was completely single you had met Hajoon, and he had accepted the fact that maybe you were better off as friends and he would just admire you from afar. That is, until you decided to plant one on him. So technically this is your fault. 

“Jungkook likes you okay, and I’m sure if you just marched next door and told him you like him too he’ll drop on one knee and marry you.”

“Shut up,” you snort, shoving her shoulder with a smile. 

“As a matter of fact, go over there right now!” She stands up from her spot, yanking your arms to haul you up with her. 

“I told you, he’s not home. But, I’ll tell him. I have to.”

Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at you, clearly displeased that she wouldn’t be witness to this love story unfolding in real time. “You better. You never know what sneaky little bitch is trying to get him to get over you.”

The sneaky little bitch in question is Park Jimin, currently sitting directly across from Jungkook, guzzling down beer like his life depends on it. It's impressive really, how quickly he empties the cup, eyes shut looking as content as could be even in the dim lighting. Jungkook can only watch with a grimace as his friend sets the glass down and wipes at his mouth with no sense of table manners. 

“What?” he burps, proceeding to pour more of the golden liquid into his cup from the pitcher in the middle of the table. 

“I always forget how absolutely disgusting you are. How do you do it?” Jimin just frowns at the question, not entirely understanding so Jungkook continues. “What switch do you flip to go from sipping champagne to chugging beer like a fucking biker.”

“It’s a talent, I know.” He smiles wide, reaching forward to grip Jungkook’s hand and force him to grab his own cup. Condensation was pooling around the bottom from sitting there untouched, and that just wouldn’t do on Jimin’s watch. “C’mon, drink it!”

“Fine,” Jungkook grumbles, raising the glass and allowing Jimin to clank the cups together before taking a big gulp. He doesn’t clear the cup like his friend did seconds prior but it's enough to appease him. It tastes absolutely bitter the whole way down, settling into his stomach uncomfortably, and the look on his face as he pushes the glass away from him is very telling. 

Boisterous shouts fill the sports bar they were in, huddles of people surrounding the tables and booths as they watched the current soccer match playing on the televisions lining the walls. Jungkook honestly feels like a debby downer now, moping in his seat instead of enjoying the atmosphere with his friend like they normally did. The current game was definitely not the reason Jungkook had texted Jimin to grab drinks, no he needed an outlet to talk about you—preferably in a space that didn’t have walls as thin as his apartment.  

When he barely acknowledges the plate of wings set in front of him Jimin huffs, resisting the urge to dig in because he knew once he did he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. “Are you gonna be like this the entire time?”

“Like what?” Jungkook has the gall to ask, acting as if he wasn’t looking like a wounded animal. 

“Like you just discovered your wife of ten years is having an affair with your sister.”

He sits up straighter at that, eyes wide in disbelief. “Jesus.“

Jimin knew the jist of what was happening through the texts he had received the past week, but it seems like Jungkook didn’t want to jump into the topic of it at all now that they were sitting across from each other. He just sighs before deciding to be honest, wasting no time beating around the bush to hopefully be the voice of reason Jungkook needs. “You’ve been simping over her for years JK, and I get it, you think she could be the one. But what about you huh? It’s not fair for you to have your heart wrung out each time she gets a man and decides to put the friendship on pause—“

“That happened once!” He defends, brows pinched on his forehead as he shakes his head, ready to explain your situation because he wasn’t a fan of hearing his friend say anything about you when he didn’t truly know what happened. “The dude was a piece of shit and basically told her it was him or me. I’m not gonna crucify her for wanting a long term relationship to work.”

“Right, so she’s not icing you out again because she got a new man? That’s literally what you told me, it’s why I bought you this sympathy pitcher of beer!”

“Fuck you, you bought this pitcher for yourself.” Jimin had chugged two giant glasses of beer already, and was steadily working on his third, whereas Jungkook’s watered down cup remained relatively untouched. “Besides, I was just...spiraling and assumed when I sent you that desperate text. But I haven’t heard anything.”

Jimin can only stare blankly at the table as he processes what was just said before locking eyes with his friend once more, “Sorry, what? You haven’t heard anything? The hell kind of riddle is that.”

Jungkook sinks into the booth with a look of shame, not wanting to admit to occasionally laying in his bed at night in complete and total silence just to see if he could hear you and the hypothetical version of Jung Hoseok doing literally anything. It’s not one of his proudest moments, feeling like a bit of a creeper as he laid stiff on his bed, too scared to make a sound.  “Nothing, forget about it. Point is, I haven’t seen the fucker come in or out of her place, so what does that mean?”

A deep sigh comes from Jimin, hand reaching forward to push the beer closer to Jungkook, desperately trying to get him to drink and ease up. “It means you pay far too much attention to her. When was the last time you got any action?”

Two weeks ago. From his hand and filthy imagination. 

“A few months,” he grumbles, remembering his last hook up that happened a few days before he discovered you got dumped. 

“Get outta here.” Jimin rolls his eyes as he points to the door. “Literally, go stand at the corner outside, show some thighs or a tattooed titty and take your pick of the swarm of girls that will surely follow you.”

Jungkook thinks he’s joking, but when his friend doesn’t drop his hand and narrows his eyes threateningly he knows he’s being serious. “My tits aren’t even tattooed,”—his large palms press against his shirt covered chest as if to prove a point— “And you sound like a douchebag talking like this.”

“What? She went on a tinder date and definitely got laid, so you need to even out the playing field. Also, it might help you chill the hell out.”

“Oh my god, you’re not helping.” Jungkook really didn’t need that visual again, it had flashed in his mind too often the night of his pity party and now it was once again at the front of his brain. 

“Alright, okay. I’m throwing out my safe word right now.” Jimin leans closer, arms resting on the table with a confused look on his face. “What do you need from me here? Like, do I play the role of a supportive friend who wants you to get over her, or do I play the role of a friend who wants you to confess? Because you’re giving me some mixed signals Jeon.”

A groan escapes Jungkook, fingers rubbing at his eyes before dragging down his face as he sinks even further into his seat. “I don’t know.” 

It’s the truth. Jungkook had no idea what he wanted his friend to do to help him. He knew that although his feelings for you have weighed heavy on his chest for what seems like years, you technically had no idea, so he feels a little guilty over his frustration for the whole situation. You were newly single again and determined to go through this self proclaimed wild phase so Jungkook isn’t dumb enough to think you can’t go out and do whatever you want, even if that means being with someone who isn’t him. 

“Look,” Jimin sighs, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You only have two choices here, tell her how you feel and accept whatever comes with it, or make peace with the idea of just being friends. Either way, I think you need to loosen up and have fun tonight.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jungkook sits himself up, wrapping his fingers around the cup in an effort to at least look like he wanted to be here. He couldn’t sit here and mope about a problem like this when he hadn’t attempted to come out and tell you how he feels. 

One night of loosening up to get you off his mind wouldn’t hurt, if anything it might help him come to his senses. At least that’s what Jimin was currently whispering with a mischievous smile on his lips. “It’ll be fine, I’ll make sure you don’t black out and get home safe. Who knows, you might get plastered enough to drunk text your confession.”

Jungkook glares at his friend, not liking the goofy look on his face as he starts to laugh. “I swear to god, you better not let me get to that point. Take my phone away from me.”

Jimin obviously wants to see the world burn, or at least he enjoys it when Jungkook somehow digs himself into his own grave. That's exactly why he responds with a million laughing emojis when Jungkook texts him asking why the hell he hadn’t taken his phone last night. 

He did a good job hiding his shock when a knock came from his front door, half expecting it to be you, keeping a smile on his face as he allowed  the person who was very clearly not you in before swiftly entering his bathroom. Jungkook wants to stay locked here forever, holed up while he sits on his toilet and not in the living room with company. It wasn’t like it was bad company either, his drunken ass going through his contact list and sending an invitation to hangout the following day to the last person he spoke to, Aillie. 

The girl is sweet, someone he had a casual fling with for months, someone who was used to his random texts so she doesn’t think twice before agreeing. The only silver lining to this was that he hadn’t sent you a typo-filled drunken confession, which is what Jimin responds with before telling him to suck it up and leave his bathroom. 

Jungkook accepts his fate, as well as accepting that he is partially responsible for this. He shoves his device back into his pockets before standing up and flushing the toilet for show, washing his hands just to stall. One good glance at his reflection makes him cringe, stained shirt and sweats combo leaves him looking like the unprepared mess he is. Another detour through his room to change was a must before he has no choice but to step back out. 

“You’re totally hung over aren’t you?” Aillie jokes from her spot on the couch, comfortable enough in his apartment from the time spent here. She locks her phone as she stands up, taking her time to really look Jungkook over. He was not dressed like someone who was expecting a guest, and despite having seen Jungkook at his sloppiest, his previous attire of oversized shirt and slightly stained sweatpants didn’t look like someone who was expecting a fuck buddy to pop over. Even with his new outfit looking more put together, it was obvious Jungkook was caught off guard by her showing up. 

“What?” Jungkook dumbly asks, trying to come up with some lame excuse to justify his earlier appearance but he falls short. His fingers gently rake through his hair, a grimace falling on his face as he looks back up at her. “Actually, a little. Sorry, I got drunk last night when I text you so sober me was not really prepared.”

“Yeah I figured, you sent me some blurry selfies right after. But we can just hang, we don’t have to do anything,” she trails off, a soft smile on her lips. The only time they ever hung out was to hook up, having ten minute conversations before and after the fact. “Or I can leave too if it's weird that I’m here.” 

Jungkook is shaking his head before she can even finish, already feeling bad enough after texting her to come over. How shitty would he be if he immediately kicked her out. This was fine, a nice distraction from it all, decent middle ground that would help him get his mind off you without having to take Jimin’s douchebag advice. 

“No, we can watch a movie or something. It’s not like I have other plans.” Had this been two weeks ago it would be a totally different story. Jungkook would typically be waiting in his apartment as he stared at the slowly ticking clock, just waiting for it to strike 7:30 because that's when you usually got home. Then he’d either get a text from you to come over with snacks or you’d show up at his door and invite yourself over for the weekly game night. 

It didn’t happen last week, or the week prior, so Jungkook is very confident that it would not be happening today either. It’s that same sense of confidence—and saltiness—that allows him to get comfortable with Aillie, blissfully unaware that you had just pulled into the parking garage a few stories below. 

“I swear to god if you don’t go straight to his door the minute you get off the elevator I will never let you live it down.” Seulgi’s voice fills your car through the speakers, fading out as you shut the car off and bring your phone to your ear to continue the conversation. 

“Dude, I just got off work. I need to make myself look decent.” Plastic bags rustle together as you grab the snacks you had picked up on your way home, all full of yours and Jungkook's favorite treats. It was definitely a guilt fueled purchase, hoping the items were enough to distract him from the fact that you were kind of a bitch for ghosting him recently, or at least butter him up into accepting your apology easier. 

“You think Jungkook cares if you’re a little sweaty from work? He’s a grown man, that’s not gonna stop him from going do—“

“Okay, goodbye!” You hastily cut her off as you press the elevator button, hearing her rambling off about being interrupted. “I’m about to get on the elevator, I’ll tell you how it goes.”

With a small sigh you hang up and stuff the device into your purse, stepping onto the lift as the doors open up and pressing the number for your floor. Your hands are clammy as you grip the plastic bag, uncharacteristically nervous about seeing Jungkook again after so long. 

The main obstacle for you to get over was apologizing for being a crappy friend, and if that went well you were going to suck it up and just come out and confess, the odds of him saying no were slim. And even if he did, you’re perfectly content with staying friends, as long as you could keep him close. 

It’s that same optimistic mentality that allows you to calm down as you enter your place and decide to give yourself a minute to mentally prepare. His favorite ice cream gets put into the freezer for later before you decide to shower and give yourself a pep talk the entire time. 

This pep talk of yours is filled with best case scenarios: Jungkook accepting the confession with open arms, finally being able to kiss him properly, everything falling into place the way it should have a long time ago. And as you head over, totally sober, freshly washed, looking and smelling your best, you really can’t picture this going any other way. 

With a deep breath you’re knocking on his front door, quickly pulling back your hand and wiping it onto your pants as you step back. Jungkook hears the knock clearly from his spot on the couch, his gaze tearing away from the television to stare at his front door with a small frown. He hadn’t ordered any food and Aillie had just excused herself to use his bathroom so his brain is having a hard time wondering who it could be. 

He curses under his breath, not putting it past himself to have texted a second person last night with an invitation to hang out. Why was Jungkook a friendly drunk?

As he presses his eye against the peephole and spots you standing there, he thinks he’s imagining things. It had seemed like so long since he had last seen you in person, and the warped fish-eyed version of you has him stepping back and rubbing his eyes before taking another glance. He suddenly feels like throwing up, and he can’t blame his earlier hangover on it. 

For a brief second he contemplates pretending he hadn’t heard you, but the guilt of doing so makes his heart twist, so he musters up the courage to open the door. It’s barely a crack really, just enough for you to see him while still concealing his apartment, something you definitely found strange because you’re usually flinging the door open and strutting right in, but you suppose his reaction is warranted considering your previous behavior. 

“Y/N, hey. Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine!” Your fingers tangle together in front of you, not entirely sure what to do with your nerves and Jungkook spots it easily. His own nerves sky rocket when he hears the sound of running water coming from his bathroom a few feet away, knowing Aillie would most likely pop out any second now, and he’s not sure why it feels like a dirty secret that he has another girl over. 

“Did you need something?”

“Yeah, I was actually wanting to talk to you about something kind of important.” Your smile is hopeful, despite the nerves swirling in your eyes. The nervous skip of your heart is felt in your throat, not remembering the last time you had felt this way about telling someone how you felt about them romantically. 

“Right now?” he wonders, fingers gripping the door handle tighter when he hears his bathroom door unlock, the sound of footsteps rounding the corner before stepping into the living room, a few feet away from the door and in perfect view of the wedge Jungkook had opened. 

When your eyes flicker over his shoulder, spotting the auburn haired girl giving you a curious glance, you feel all your confidence slip away. Seulgi had definitely been right about needing to confess soon, Jungkook was a catch and just because you hadn’t realized it sooner didn’t mean the rest of the world was blind to it. 

“Yeah, right now...but you’re busy, so it’s fine!” You want to scramble away from there, feeling dumb the longer you stand there. Jungkook wants to say he’s not busy, kick the girl out of his place and invite you in but that wouldn’t be fair to her, for all he knew your important conversation would be a repeat of the conversation you had over Hajoon, and he really didn't want to get friendship dumped while this girl was in his apartment. He’s pretty sure his Yelp rating would drop a bit if he cried on the couch about you to his old hook up. 

He starts to speak but you cut him off before he can, “Don’t worry about it! I’ll see you later.” You force a smile before walking away, not allowing him to get a word in as you quickly step into your apartment and move to the furthest room away from your bedroom. 

You can feel the cold of your kitchen floor as you sit on your butt, back against your cabinets, the small twinge of defeat spreading within you. “This is fine. Maybe she’s just a friend. I can always tell him tomorrow,” you whisper out. But your fingers seem to think otherwise as they type out a message to Seulgi, informing her that the mission was unsuccessful and you’d be putting on The Notebook like you always did. It was basically protocol to do so when things went south in your life. 

She doesn’t even know how to console you, knowing she can’t tell you it was his loss or that he wasn’t worth it because she knows that’d be a lie and you wouldn’t believe it for a second. The only thing she can offer is coming over, but you’re quick to turn her down, deciding that being alone in the comfort of your bed as you inhaled the ice cream you bought for Jungkook would be best. 

Is being in your room the wisest choice when you know you share a wall with Jungkook—and he has a cute girl over? No. Probably not. But you figure if you hear anything explicit it’s just your dose of karma, so you accept it, turning up the volume of the movie a few levels just to soften the blow. 

However, Jungkook would definitely not be hooking up with her in his bedroom, or anywhere in his apartment for that matter. Luckily Aillie is blessed with the gift of reading the damn room and can easily spot the shift in Jungkook’s mood the second he shuts the door. She’s sitting on the edge of the couch now, hands gently placed on her knees as she gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I get the vibe that somethings off.”

He looks up at her then, slowing his pace until he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of the room with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “My friend—my neighbor just wanted to talk about something. But everything’s fine.”

The lie tastes bitter on his tongue, and Aillie doesn’t believe him in the slightest. A small sigh fills the air as she stands up, collecting her bag and approaching him. “Look, I know deep talks really aren’t our thing so I’m not going to even try to dive into this, but you should go talk to your friend.”

A comforting hand is placed on his shoulder before she makes her way to the door to leave, Jungkook already following closely behind her. “No, you don’t have to go. You came all this way because I texted you with way too much tequila in my system.”

“Jungkook,” she laughs, opening the door with a smile. “You’re way too sweet for your own good. It was nice seeing you though.” Her eyes slowly move over to your front door before looking back at him, head cocking to the side in a very clear indication that he better go over. He can only nod in understanding, waving her goodbye and shutting the door once she heads down to the elevator. 

The action sounds of the movie they were watching continues to fill his apartment, whatever chaos was going on only making his brain whirl so he’s quick to grab the remote and shut it off entirely. Now he’s just stuck in complete silence, wondering if he should quickly make his way over to yours or play it calm and collected. 

The total silence allows him to hear the muffled mumbling of a movie he knew all too well. It draws him in, lures him into his bedroom until he’s kneeling on the mattress with his ear pressed against the wall to properly make it out. You were watching the Notebook, at a concerning volume, which could mean a number of things. Jungkook knew none of them were good, usually rooted in issues you had with your ex, or a tough day at work, or any particular day where you just felt like crying. 

With a deep breath, he’s slowly knocking along his wall, almost experimentally, hoping it's enough to grab your attention through the current scene playing. For a second he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep while watching the film, but then the room falls silent as you pause it entirely. 

Your hearts racing now, ears straining to hear anything else and hoping this wasn’t how the beginning of the explicit noises would start, but then another knock comes from behind you. It makes you gasp, like you’ve just been caught being the nosey neighbor you are, hearing the soft scrape of his hand sliding down the wall. The ice cream gets put onto your nightstand as you sit up properly, forcing yourself out of the mountain of pillows you were practically suffocating in and turning around to knock back.

Jungkook’s palm presses back onto the wall, smiling at your response before fishing his phone out of his pocket. His fingers find your thread of messages, further down the list than he was used to, and as he opens them up and sees the string of unanswered texts dating back to two weeks ago, it stings just like it did before. He pushes his pride aside though, knowing you had wanted to talk today in person, so he proceeds to quadruple text you. 

Jungkook 8:44pm : are you seriously watching the notebook again?

You’re unlocking your phone the second it buzzes, smiling at the dimly lit screen before typing out a response. 

Y/N 8:45pm : shut up, it’s my comfort movie

Y/N 8:45pm : do you wanna watch it with me? for old times sake

The device is locked and placed face down onto your sheets the second you hit send, sinking into the pillows once again as you try not to scream at yourself because you know he’ll hear you. Why would you invite him over when he clearly has company? You had seen her with your own eyes, had seen how cute she is, had seen how cute Jungkook is, it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 

Jungkook is quick though, texting back in agreement and heading over instantly. If you were watching your comfort movie then Jungkook wanted to make sure you were okay. Putting the past two weeks behind him, knowing you’d most likely have a good enough explanation—an explanation he would definitely be needing before the night was over—he’s knocking on your door before you can even check your messages. 

It takes you a minute to untangle your limbs from your covers as you hastily try to get to your door, sock clad feet sliding along your wooden floors when you finally yank the door open. Jungkook wears a soft smile as he stares down at you, taking note that you had switched your outfit to your usual sad movie binge attire of baggy shirt and lounge shorts. His eyes zero in on your lips when he notices there's something lingering at the corner of them. 

“So, are you gonna share whatever the hell that is?” His finger points at it smugly, laughing when your tongue peeks out to wipe it away. 

“It was actually meant to be for you.” Stepping aside, you let him enter your place. Jungkook almost feels a little strange being here after the weird few weeks, but he pushes it aside, just wanting things to feel normal. 

“Does that mean there’s no more left?” His eyes playfully narrow at you as you step closer, moving on to stare at the kitchen table, and the coffee table in search of the tub of ice cream that supposedly had his name on it. The earlier nerves you felt slowly fade away when you realize he’s not visibly upset about what happened, but it only makes your guilt deepen that despite your ability to be a crummy friend, Jungkook would still try his best to come through for you. 

“There’s about half of it left, it’s probably a little soft now though.” You side step him to enter the kitchen, grabbing an extra spoon and handing it over as a peace treaty, smiling when he gratefully accepts it. “C’mon, I paused the movie.”

Jungkook is not a stranger to your bedroom, especially when sappy movies were playing, finding his spot easily on the right side where he typically handed you tissues whenever you cried. The tissues were missing this time, in place of them being the bag of snacks you had bought, his ice cream on the other nightstand. 

“What part are you on?” he asks, settling onto the bed after fluffing up the pillows, waving his hands so you could pass the tub of ice cream his way. 

“It just started raining on the boat.” Jungkook hums, scooping out some of the chocolate ice cream and into his mouth. He knew this scene very well, and when you press play, he mentally repeats all of the lines. Just as Noah declares he wrote her 365 letters, you awkwardly clear your throat, your own spoon slowly sneaking over to his side to steal some ice cream for yourself. 

“I’m sorry if I made things awkward with your date.” Your voice sounds timid, something he’s not used to hearing from you at all, so he chuckles, laughing harder when you swat at his arm. “I’m serious, I should have texted you before just showing up.”

“Really? When have you ever done that before?” The two of you never notified the other when they wanted to show up, Jungkook had even given you the code to his place once when he was at work and you were desperate for some fruity pebbles—you used that code to your advantage and Jungkook never hated it. But all things considered, it's fair why you think you would have to give him a heads up. 

“You didn’t make it awkward though.” It’s not the complete truth, you coming over is what had made Aillie decide to leave, but Jungkook had to take most of the credit for it. “I kinda made it awkward from the beginning.”

“Why, what happened?”

“I went out last night with Jimin“ —you immediately hum in understanding, knowing very well how convincing Jimin could be with alcohol— “and apparently I texted her to hang out today, had no recollection, so when she showed up I was definitely not ready.”

“Damn, this is how I know you’re a better person than I am. If that happened to me, the second I checked my peephole and saw someone I didn’t remember inviting over, I’m gonna pretend I’m not home.”

“Yeah well, she lives like an hour away so I’d feel like an ass if I did that. Don’t think I’ll be talking to her again any time soon though.” He sighs in thought, gently tapping his spoon on the surface of the softening ice cream. There was one thing weighing heavy on his mind, needing to know what important thing you had to talk to him about, wondering if you were actually going to friendship dump him earlier and he had just made it worse by coming over and hanging out like old times. 

He doesn’t want to come right out and ask it though, not wanting to set himself up for an awkward conversation in case that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about, so he settles for something safe enough that would allow him to get a glimpse. 

“So how are things with Hoseok?” Yeah, that’s a good start. 

“Huh?” Your spoon freezes in its spot, face clearly looking confused in the dim glow of the television, the movie long forgotten now that you were speaking. 

“Tinder guy? Yellow sunglasses guy that gave you mono?” 

It suddenly clicks again, having forgotten all about Jung Hoseok the second you had gotten home from the failed date and came to terms with your feelings. Your lie of having a cold must have been believable enough for Jungkook to genuinely think he had given you something like mono. 

“He didn’t give me mono!” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a playful smile, humming along like he totally believes you. “But I didn’t tell you?”

He frowns as he stares at you, not entirely sure how to take your tone. “Tell me what? That you’re engaged and the wedding is in June?”

“No way,” you laugh, swatting his spoon away with a clank as you grab some ice cream before shoving it in your mouth, fighting against the brain freeze to continue speaking. “Our date was a bust.”

“How? Was it that bad?” He desperately wanted to know, having convinced himself the date had gone spectacularly well and you were now an exclusive item. The small twinge of guilt is felt when he realizes he’s a little too happy that the date had been a failure, but he allows himself to have this small, tiny victory. 

“Mm, it was so good it was bad.” He looks utterly confused, and you don’t blame him, so you elaborate. “He was this perfect gentleman who just wanted to play games, like to the point where he had a notebook where he was tallying our points, and then he walked me to my car and kissed my cheek goodbye.”

“Oh the horror!” Jungkook gasps, setting his spoon down to clutch his heart in dramatics. “How dare he try to romance you with a game night.”

“Jungkook, shut up!” you laugh, finally feeling like everything was right again, sitting in bed with your closest friend as you teased each other. “Look, I’ll give him some credit. The date was nice, he was not the sleazy douchebag his profile made him out to be, and I’m sure he’ll find the perfect girl for him on Tinder. But he clearly wanted something serious and—“

“And you don’t want that right now. It’s fair.” Of course you would turn him down, you had just decided to embark on this new adventure in the single world. It was kind of dumb for Jungkook to assume one date with Tinder Boy would be enough for you to give up your short lived dream. 

You take a steady breath at his words before taking another scoop of ice cream, lips wrapped around the spoon as you slowly pull it out of your mouth. The nerves are trickling back in, making your heart skip and your eyes bounce around. If you don’t come out and say it now, you know you never will. 

Your spoon joins his in the tub of ice cream before you decide to move it back to the nightstand, forcing yourself to look back at him, seeing him turned away as he rummages through the plastic bag full of snacks. “I don’t want that with him.”

Jungkook freezes, the rustling of plastic ceases as his hands come back to his sides and he turns back around. With him. He was the king of jumping to worse case scenarios so his brain has no issues coming to this very horrible conclusion. 

“Have you been talking to Hajoon again?”

“No, Jungkook I haven’t.”

“Are you sure? I’m saying this now, but if you get back with him I will not hesitate to pop him in the face if I run into him in the halls. It’s fair game out there, neutral territory for him to get his ass beat—“

“It’s you.”

His brain short circuits at that, mini versions of himself currently running around and screaming in his head as he tries to make sense of this. The first instinct he has is to crack a joke, to say that he hadn’t been talking to Hajoon again, and laugh it off. But you look a little too vulnerable right now, eyes nervously looking at him and then looking away at his lingering silence. 

“Wait, what?” It’s the only thing he can sputter out, caught off guard by your words, not wanting to say anything else in case the world was cruel enough for him to have completely misheard you. 

“I don’t want that with Tinder Boy or Hajoon, I want it with you.” It gets a little easier saying it a second time, but his reaction is hard to gauge. You had been expecting him to reciprocate the confession instantly, but the longer he looked shocked only made you think that you and Seulgi had been seriously wrong about his supposed crush. 

Jungkook is having a difficult time trying to go from you ghosting him to you suddenly admitting to liking him, the change in emotions not allowing him to say anything he had practiced in the mirror for so long. He can’t come out and give you a speech about how he thinks you’re the one, how you’re obviously a good match together, brain too focused on other details. “How long have you known this?”

“For the past two weeks, but deep down I know it’s been longer.”

His wide eyes glance over at you now, everything slowly clicking into place. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Yes,” you mumble, embarrassed over the way you had acted. The last time you had avoided someone was in elementary school, having a best friend go ask your crush if he likes you while you hid in the bathroom, scared of the answer. “I like you Jungkook and I knew I wouldn’t be able to play it cool. I was scared to say something and have you not feel the same and then have our friendship be weird.”

Jungkook smiles in that adorable way you love, nose scrunching up cutely as he leans closer, large palms coming to cup your cheeks. He has wanted to hear this for so long, and sure, maybe it wasn’t some super romantic confession over a candlelit dinner like he had occasionally dreamed of, but this felt right. 

“You’re so stupid,” he whispers out, thumb softly caressing your cheek as he chuckles, feeling the way your lips turn into a frown at his harmless insult. 

“Jungkook, I’m being serious,” you whine, heart still pounding in your chest. Your hands come up to gently wrap around his wrists, allowing him to continue to squish your cheeks with that endearing look on his face. 

“I’m being serious too Y/N. Did you really think I wouldn’t feel the same?” Jungkook did everything he did with you out of pure friendliness, never expecting to get something in return from it, but there was a small sprinkling of a crush in every one of his actions. “I like you too, and I have for a really long time.”

The relief you feel comes instantly, lips slowly pulling into a smile when you finally have the confidence to look directly into his eyes again. If this is how light you feel after the two weeks spent freaking out, you can only imagine how Jungkook feels. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Now, can I please kiss you?” You’re nodding the second the question leaves his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as his hands glide down to cup your jaw, soft lips slowly pressing against yours. It’s a gentle smack of skin as he pulls back, a smirk on his lips when he opens his eyes, softly rubbing his nose against yours. 

“Wait,” he breathes out, chuckling softly. “Is he still looking?” He has the nerve to repeat the same question that had been the root of your guilt, and when your eyes shoot open and glare at him, he can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out. 

“I hate you,” you mutter out, not an ounce of truth behind it. 

“Mm, no you don’t.” 

His lips find yours again, falling into a steady rhythm, softer and less rushed than the first kiss you had shared at the club. There’s no pounding bass in the background, or the taste of liquor on your lips, but Jungkook prefers it this way. He likes the low hum of the movie continuing to play in the background, the sweetness of the ice cream lingering on your lips when his tongue gently swipes at the seam of them, the way your hands slowly slide around his neck as he deepens each kiss. 

With each shared breath, you slide further down your bed, pulling Jungkook down with you until he’s hovering directly above you. His knees dig into the sheets, one hand pressed beside your head to keep himself stable as you urge him even closer to you. The delicate golden chain he wears kisses your skin, pendant settling onto your chest, the cool sensation is almost enough to distract you as his tongue slowly slips into your mouth. Jungkook groans when you let out a small gasp, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently at the strands by the nape of his neck. 

He wants to remember this kiss instead of the one from the club, embed every gasp you let out into his brain, the way your chest pushes up to feel more of him, how your hands slide down his back, leaving a fiery trail in their path that makes Jungkook shiver. And when you slide your thighs further apart for him, innocently at first, he can’t help it when his lips freeze on yours as you slowly roll your hips upwards. It gives him the same automatic reaction he had gotten at the club, all the blood rushing to his cock instantly, except this time he doesn’t feel the shame he had felt before. There was no ulterior motive to what you were doing, sincerity shown in your confession, shared within each kiss, so Jungkook allows himself to bask in the want he feels for you.

“Y/N,” he groans out when you repeat the action, pulling away from your swollen lips to stare at you through hooded eyes. You’re licking your lips over as your eyes slowly open, a small glimmer evident in them as you tilt your head and pretend to not know what you’re doing.

“What?” you question, leaning up to kiss the edge of his mouth, giggling when he attempts to chase your lips as you pull back, choosing to kiss down his jaw instead. As your tongue gently trails along the side of his neck, you feel the harsh gulp he takes, his fingers bunching up in the sheets beside your head. His neck has always been a weak point for him, turning him into a puddle in seconds, you knew this from the unfiltered conversations you’ve had and it was something you were definitely going to be using to your advantage. 

“You’re doing this on purpose,” he grunts, eyes fluttering shut as you nip at his skin, a visible shiver racking through him. 

“Of course I am,” you hum, letting your hands roam his back, sliding around his front until you’re sneaking past the white fabric of his shirt. When your cool hands meet his skin, he tenses, the muscles on his stomach tightening up as your fingertips trail up his body. You’ve known Jungkook was well defined, lean and toned in all the best places, having seen him shirtless a few times. But being able to touch him like this, feel each stuttered breath and jump of his skin reacting to your touch fueled you. 

Jungkook knows you can feel the racing of his heart now, your palms flat on his chest, each thrum revealing his emotions despite the cool and calm exterior he was trying to have. His hips lower towards yours, resisting the urge to rut into you as you start to suck on his skin. The low hum you let out vibrates against his neck, mixed in with the feeling of your wet lips, and he knows he’s done for. The final blow comes in the form of you swiping your tongue at the blossomed hickey, sweet voice pulling him back to earth as you look at him once more. “I want you Jungkook.”

Oh god, he couldn’t do this. His face pulls into a grimace, begging himself to not instantly cum in his pants at what you just said. How many times has he fantasized about this? Hoped you’d beg him for anything in that same exact voice, dreamed of you kissing and sucking on his skin like you currently were. Jungkook isn’t sure any amount of mental preparation would be enough for this. 

“Say that again please.”

You giggle, finger pushing back a strand of his hair as it falls over his face, tucking it behind his ear. The normal doe eyed look you were accustomed to is nowhere to be found, pupils blown out in lust as he stares at you. Being on the receiving end of this stare fills your stomach with butterflies, the flapping of their wings intensifying as he nudges his nose into yours. 

“I want you.” It’s breathless, spoken so softly through the background noise like a personal secret just for him. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of hearing you say it, that much is proven true when you repeat it in between kisses, trailing back up his neck in the same path you had taken until you're speaking the words directly against his lips. He swallows them down greedily, groaning into your mouth when his tongue tangles with yours once more. 

“Fuck, you can have me baby.” He chuckles against your mouth when you start to tug at his shirt, yanking the thin material until he has to pull back and slip the tee off himself. The balled fabric gets tossed aside without a care, dark swirls of ink on his arm fully revealed now, each tattoo reminding you of how long you’ve known him, remembering the two pieces that he had when you first met. When he leans back over you, taking his time trailing kisses down your neck, onto your chest until his own hands are slowly tugging your shirt off of you, you decide there’s other things to focus on besides his glorious tattoos.

“Ah, Jungkook,” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair when he kisses the swells of your breast, warm tongue sliding over your nipple before his lips are wrapping around it. His large palm gropes the other, thumb flicking over the pebbled bud, smirking when you push your chest further out for him.

“What baby?” He pulls back to blow a gust of cool air on your nipple, the wetness of his saliva making your skin break out into goosebumps. 

“No teasing.”

Jungkook’s laughing now, eyes peering up at you through his lashes. “Oh, you think I’m not gonna tease you after what you did?” He tsks in disapproval as he continues to kiss down your torso, letting his hands trail down your sides, not stopping until he reaches the hem of your shorts. A kiss is placed above your navel as he pulls the shorts down your legs, toying with the waistband of your black underwear. “I’m gonna take my time with you.”

The build up before pleasure will always be your favorite part. The way his hands grip your thighs after tugging your underwear off, fingertips trailing up until his palm is pressing them further apart. It’s impossible to look at him now, the visual of his long hair framing his face as he starts to press wet kisses on your skin is too much to handle. You can feel the warm huff of air when he laughs as your head drops back onto the pillow once more, eyes slipping shut while you wait with anticipation. 

Jungkook wants to comment over how wet you are already, boost his own ego about being able to rile you up with just kissing, but he can see the way you’re already on edge, and he decides he can tease you some more later with what he has in store. Instead, he gives you what you’re mentally pleading him for. Finally pressing his soft lips to your folds, the short gasp you release as his tongue glides up before gently flicking across your clit has him shutting his own eyes, reveling in the way you react to his touch. 

His long fingers spread out your folds before he’s messily spitting onto them, watching the way the glob of saliva trickles down before he’s diving in, falling into the perfect pace with ease. It has your hips rutting up instantly, your hand uncurling its grip from your sheets to travel down your body and find its place tangled in his hair. Jungkook groans against your clit when your fingers grip tightly, yanking the dark strands as the prettiest moan flows out of you. 

“J-just like that, fuck,” you whimper, finally lifting your head up to stare down at him when he latches his lips around your clit and sucks. It sends a spark down your spine, stomach tensing at his rhythm, fully intent to have you fall apart. 

Jungkook wants to push you over the edge, knows he’s talented enough to get you there in record time—he was cocky in the best way—and the way your thighs tremble as he slowly sinks his finger into you proves his point. The slick coating your entrance allows a second finger to slip through with little resistance, a shuddering breath filling the air as he begins to spread his fingers apart, stretching you out in the most delicious way. 

It’s not until his fingers curl up, rubbing along the sweet patch inside of you and you moan out his name, that he realizes he has you right where he wants you. He can’t get himself to look up at you, to see the way your jaw drops as you plead for more. Jungkook knows if his eyes lock with yours too soon he’ll be too weak to be as cruel as he wants to be. 

The pleasure blooms inside you, hips rolling up into his in a way he welcomes, smirk spreading onto his lips when your moans get breathier. He eats you out with determination set in his brows, not satisfied until you’re tightening around his fingers, thighs threatening to close in on either side of his head. The messy way he slurps against you sends you reeling, rutting up into him with need, the wet thump of his fingers blending in with your moans of his name. 

“God, Jungkook, I’m gonna cum.” He believes you, eyes finally opening up to stare at you. The visual is enough to make his cock throb in his pants, your glassy eyed stare locked onto his, chest rising and falling in time with each choked breath. When he playfully winks at you, your walls pulse around him, seconds away from being pushed over the edge, and that’s when he pulls away. 

The warm glow of your orgasm approaching, just about to crest, gets ripped away from you instantly. It makes you gasp, thighs twitching as your hips attempt to push up back towards his mouth, but he’s having none of that. His shiny lips smile up at you innocently, head tilted to slowly kiss your trembling thighs, chuckling at the small cry of frustration you let out. 

“You taste good baby,” he hums, smooching the skin at the juncture of your thighs, circling around your clit without relieving the pressure you felt. The dull ache has your fingers releasing his hair in defeat, a frown etched onto your lips. 

“Jungkook, that’s mean,” you pant, sitting up and resting on your elbows to properly stare at him. 

“A little, but you deserved it don’t you think?” Jungkook didn’t want to tease you too much, he just wanted to get even for the past two weeks. “You could have had me between your thighs every single night if you would’ve said something soon, so I think you can be patient.”

A firm kiss is pressed to your swollen clit and it makes your whole body shudder, your head dropping back as you take a deep breath to control yourself. “I can’t be patient Kook,” you whine, head leveling back out to give him the most convincing stare you can muster. There's that crease between your brows that he likes when you pinch them together, hands gently raking through his hair, teeth pillowing out your lower lip as you bite down onto it. 

“Please, you can torture me later if you want but not now.” Your words have him cocking up his brow, hands once again gripping the meat of your thighs before he crawls back up your body. The feeling of his chain dragging up your skin has you shivering, breath catching in your throat when he hovers inches above you once more. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before his hand slips between your thighs again. A groan reaches his ears as his fingers circle your clit, covered in your arousal and his saliva, gliding with ease as he works you back to your ruined orgasm. 

His lips find yours, swallowing down the moan you let out when he quickens his pace. You can taste yourself on his tongue, tangling with yours with more urgency than before, messy and desperate in a way that had more arousal gushing out of you. The earlier pleasure reignites inside you, your hands sliding around his neck to keep him close, kissing him with fervor, quiet moans and whimpers slipping past between each smack of your lips. 

“Jungkook,” you barely manage to squeal, a few more flicks needed to finally push you over the edge. Your lips are slick with spit as you pull back, jaw slack as you lose yourself in the feeling, and Jungkook easily bookmarks this into his brain to go back to and daydream of whenever he’s bored at work. Your eyes are squeezed shut as the feeling flows through you, not able to see how Jungkook stares at you in awe. 

“Holy shit,” he whispers, slowly pulling his hand away when you keen at the sensitivity, thighs twitching on the sheets as the pleasure rolls through you in waves. You’re looking up just in time to see him slip his messy fingers into his mouth, tongue licking them clean and savoring the taste of you. Just as he slides them back out, your fingers wrap around his wrist and lead them directly into your mouth, sinking onto them with your eyes locked on his own. 

Jungkook’s cock jumps in its confines when you suck, tip of your tongue circling his fingertips before popping them back out with a smirk. There’s a brief moment of shock on his features before he’s jumping into action, quickly unbuttoning his jeans in haste that left you giggling on your sheets. 

“What happened to patience?” you tease, laughing harder when he pauses with one foot stuck in the hole of his jeans, a playful glare thrown your way. 

“Oh, now you want patience?” He kicks his pants the rest of the way off, slowly shuffling towards you as he stands beside the bed in just his boxers. Your hands make grabby motions for him, reaching for the waistband of his underwear to tug them down, licking your lips over as his cock springs out. It bobs in the air for a second, thick and heavy, precum collecting at the tip with the prettiest veins on the underside of it. Of course Jungkook and his pretty privilege would have a dick worthy of leaving you speechless. 

Jungkook allows you to ogle at him, confidently wrapping his palm around the base of his cock, hissing slightly at the sensation as he looks down at it, allowing spit to accumulate behind his lips before a string of it escapes and lands right onto his length to help the glide of his palm. Your eyes widen at the sight, hand replacing his as he guides your motions, giving an experimental squeeze and enjoying how his abs tense up. 

“I’ve been patient for a long time Y/N. You said you want me right?” You’re nodding instantly, eyes looking away from his shiny length to stare up at him. “How do you want me?”

“Jungkook, just get over here.” He doesn’t resist when you let go of his cock, hands gripping his arm to yank him back onto the bed in a clumsy heap. His legs are a tangled mess, nearly ramming his forehead with yours from the force, shared laughter filling the air as you situate yourself. Jungkook had pictured this a thousand times and this is exactly how he imagined it, full of soft kisses, hushed laughter and goofy smiles, playfulness mixed in with lust all coming together perfectly to make the two of you. 

As he settles between your thighs, your sodden folds inches from his length, you can see the look on his face as his eyes glance in between both of your nightstands. Already knowing the question that was about to spill out, you beat him to the punch. “You don’t need one, if you don’t want to. I’m on birth control, and haven’t been with anyone since…” you trail off, not needing to specify.

Jungkook tries not to look too excited, really, but it’s hard. Every one of his lewd fantasies had involved being able to feel you entirely, and if your thoughts from that night were anything to go by, you definitely want the same. It takes him a second to speak, having to swallow properly to prevent himself from choking on his saliva and embarrassing himself in front of you. “I’m clean, I promise.”

“I trust you,” you smile, biting down onto your bottom lip as he fists his cock, slowly leading it to your dripping center. His free hand rests on your inner thigh, softly palming the skin as the head of his cock nudges against your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscles and into your heat. With his gaze locked down to where you connect, he sees inch by inch sink into you, finally bottoming out with a shared gasp.

Jungkook leans over you properly now, hand sliding up to lace with yours as the other rests beside your head, just taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of your velvety walls wrapped tightly around his cock. You welcome the stretch, the curve of his length inside you, how he cages you in with his body, eyes full of want staring directly at you, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze because he knows he can’t properly form a sentence right now. 

“Fuck me, please.” With his hips pressed flush against yours, he’s slowly inching back, letting you get used to his size with each thrust. It doesn’t take long before he’s rearing back entirely, thrusting forward with a wet squelch, corner of his lips curling up into a smirk when you moan out his name. Your hand curls around his shoulder, fingers digging into his back to keep yourself steady from the force of his hips. 

Each time the head of his cock would nudge against your bundle of nerves, your nails would sink into his skin, leaving half moon indents that left him groaning in pleasure. Jungkook hadn’t outright told you, but it had become increasingly obvious that he has a slight kink for pain, practically mewling above you as you scratch his back, fucking you with more determination than before. 

“You feel so good,” he rasps, slotting his lips with yours in a messy kiss. The back of your headboard starts to rattle against the wall, bouncing back in time with his hips, and it brings you back to the filthy thoughts you had before. How often you’d hear the same sounds on the opposite side, mixing in with the sharpness of skin connecting together, and you want it. So badly.

“J-jungkook,” you breathe out, letting him pepper more kisses onto you, hips never slowing down. “Can you do something for me?” The tone you use, coated in sugar so sweet he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.

“Anything.”

It’s hard to concentrate on anything else while his cock continues to fuck into you, turning your mind into mush each time he sunk all the way in. He can see the way you try to focus, eyes falling shut with the cutest pout on your kiss swollen lips, finally grabbing onto the reigns of your mind as you spit it out. “Wanna feel you—fuck—spank me, please.”

Only then do his hips slow down, cock throbbing inside of you, fighting the urge to cum before fulfilling your request. The only confirmation that he was agreeing, wholeheartedly, comes when he pulls out of you, moving too quickly for you to protest at the loss of contact. The room spins for a second as his hands grip onto your hips and flip you over with ease, palms gripping the globes of your ass and softly patting them with a chuckle.

“Of course baby,” he murmurs, hooking his arm underneath your stomach to haul you up onto your knees, allowing you to steady yourself before he’s sliding into you once again. The change in position has you keening, his cock sinking deeper than before, the wetness dripping out of you helping him maintain the earlier pace he had. Your hands fist the sheets beneath you, back arching in ecstasy as he hits your g-spot with precision, a tiny shriek of his name making him smile.

Jungkook keeps you on edge, strong hands gripping the skin of your hips tightly, mouth dropping open while he pants at the way you pulse around his cock, leaving it coated in your slick. His hand slides down to your ass, a gentle touch being your only warning before he’s pulling his hand back and delivering a swift slap to your skin. Your reaction is immediate, an unrestrained moan sounding like music to his ears. The sharp sting spreads directly to your core, your head bowing forward as you mentally beg him for more, your wish being granted seconds later when he repeats it on the other side.

If the wet sounds of his cock fucking you weren’t filthy enough, the added slap of his palm across your ass definitely topped it off. Jungkook had never seen you so needy, thighs coated in your arousal, gushing around him each time he spanked you until you were creaming his cock. The greedy way your walls suck him in, wanting him closer, deeper than ever, left him mesmerized. 

His hand soothes the dull throb on your skin, a trembling breath reaching his ears as he leans over your back, lips kissing up your spine up until reaching your shoulder. Hot pants of breath hit your skin, making you shiver as his lips trail along the edge of your ear. “Feel good?”

“Y-yes,” you mewl, voice trembling from the pleasure, rutting your hips in time with his. 

Jungkook’s way of love was a breath of fresh air for you, rough enough to exhilarate you, the force of his hips leaving you scrambling for purchase to prevent you from face planting onto the sheets, gripping onto your hair and tugging it back with enough force to make your body tingle. But it was intertwined with adoration, sweet praise whispered into your ear, lacing his fingers with yours to let you feel secure.

“You’re never getting rid of me baby,” he groans out. The low rasp in his voice makes you tremble, neck straining from his grip in your hair but the burn feels too good to pull away. His small confession has your heart skipping, eyes slipping shut to bask in the overwhelming feeling surrounding you.

“Good,” you manage to pant, “would never dream of it.” After four years of friendship, the beginning stages of getting to know each other, figuring out the right ways to flow with your different personalities, it's all out of the way now, so it’s incredibly easy for you to picture a steady future with him. The breakfast gossiping, shameless club outings, chaotic game nights with snacks thrown at each other, you want everything you already have with him and more. What you have, so rooted in sincerity, built off mutual respect for each other, blossoming into love so pure, you can’t imagine having this with anyone else.

“Y/N,” he gasps, the pulsing of your walls bringing him closer to his climax. “I’m close.”

You can only hum in agreement, burying your face into your pillow when he releases the grip he has in your hair, nipples rubbing against the sheets in time with his thrusts, the sensitivity sending sparks throughout you. Both his hands grip your hips again, dimpling the skin as he quickens his pace, the tantalizing roll of his hips intent to send you over before him. His eyes trail over the curve of your back, how you arch it further to feel more of him, sliding down to your ass, seeing the way it bounces back with each snap of his hips, how you weakly rut back onto him, pussy clamping around his length as your orgasm approached. 

Jungkook slides his hand around you, trailing across your tummy before slipping between your thighs to the spot you needed him most. Even with your face buried in the sheets, the moan you let out is loud enough for Jungkook to hear perfectly, body shuddering as he flicks across your clit in tight circles.  

“Kook, I’m cumming—fuck,” you shout out, white heat enveloping your body as you get sent over the edge. Your mind blanks for a minute, the intensity of your orgasm crashing over you so suddenly, making your limbs tense up while every nerve ending lights up. The only thing you can think of is him, chanting out your name while you pulse around him, sweet words coaxing you through your high, thumb rubbing along the skin of your hips as he never slows his pace. 

As he fucks you through it, groaning out at how tight your walls are around him, you have to turn your head to gasp in a breath, face feeling hot from it all. You can feel how sweaty your skin has become, the back of your neck feeling sticky as your turn to get a glimpse of him, body still shuddering from the aftershocks. 

Jungkook doesn’t have a care for his own volume now, moaning unabashedly as he pistons his hips into you with less grace than before. The soft mewls of overstimulation you let out just bring him closer to his release, thrusts getting sloppier as the pleasure takes over him. 

“Fuck, baby-” he grunts out, mouth dropping open as he moans even louder, finally falling apart. He pushes further into you, head falling forward as his hips press flushed against your ass, warm spurts of his cum filling you up in a way that fulfills your dirtiest fantasies. A few more shallow thrusts has the two of you gasping, hearts pounding in your chests, coming down slowly as he finally stills.

A serene silence falls over you, the movie long turned off in the background, only the low glow of the television letting you know it was still on. With great hesitation, Jungkook finally pulls out of you, gulping when he sees the thick globs of cum spill from your core, dripping down your thighs before landing on the sheets in a sinful mess. Your sheets are well and truly ruined, Jungkook would honestly suggest tossing them in the trash judging by the damp spot directly beneath you.

With a small groan, you’re flopping fully onto your stomach, thighs no longer able to keep yourself up, the exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungkook chuckles when he hears you, soothing your back with a gentle massage. “You’re not sleeping in here babe.”

“Why not,” you slur, cheek pressed against your pillow, eyes already shut. All you wanted to do was lay here, preferably with his arms wrapped around you, but Jungkook clearly has other plans. 

“Because it’s disgusting,” he laughs, giving you a few more seconds of rest before he’s moving around. The dip in the bed lets you know he’s gotten off, one eye peeking open to search for him, seeing him gathering his belongings from the floor.

“Where are you going?”

He shimmies back into his clothes with a grimace, gathering your own items before approaching you once more. “We are going next door and sleeping in my totally clean bed, c’mon.”

You only put up a fight for a second, secretly enjoying the way he helps you get dressed in your earlier clothes, heart swelling in your chest at how domestic it all feels. The mess in your room would have to be dealt with another day, the only important item being the ice cream that finds its way back into the freezer as you both head out of your apartment and swiftly enter his next door.

He’s just as delicate and careful in the shower, taking turns cleaning each other, large hands gripping your ass and giggling like a child when you wince at the small throb of pain you feel. Soft kisses are shared under the showerhead, warm water soothing your body as the room fogs up, sweet confessions scribbled on the glass in his messy writing, topped off with a heart. Jungkook stops you before you can wipe it away, shyly telling you that he’d like to see it reappear the next time he showers.

His bedroom was one you weren’t too familiar with, used to lounging in his living room the most, so as he settles into his bed after getting cozy in his pajamas, you wait for him to call you over before joining him. The coolness of his sheets has you sighing, snuggling into his side with a smile on your lips, one that Jungkook sees as he stares down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Seeing you draped in his clothes, cuddled up beside him in a way you’ve never done before, makes him feel like a giddy teenager. 

“Can I be honest?” he wonders, arm wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. When you hum in confirmation, he laughs sheepishly. “I thought you were going to friendship dump me today.”

“What, why?”

Your head bobs up as he shrugs his shoulders. “The way you were acting reminded me of the last time you told me you wanted to focus on your relationship. I was just scared I was going to lose you again.”

The tone he uses makes your heart ache, the same guilt you felt these past few days coming back when you put yourself in his shoes. You had no idea that the way you were acting would affect him this way, never once imagining that he thought you would cut off this friendship while you were just coming to terms with the fact that you harbored strong feelings for him. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you sigh, palm resting on his chest, feeling each beat of his heart, no longer racing like before, confident and steady in it’s pace because he knows you’re not going anywhere. “I’m stupid, and freaked out after what I did, and just needed to gather my thoughts before saying anything.”

He cranes his head away from you, a confused look on his face. “After what you did? What did you do?”

Fuck.

“Uhm,” you start with a strained laugh, refusing to look up at him out of embarrassment, but the truth has to come out so you power through it.  “So, the night of the date, I sort of got home earlier than I told you I did.”

His eyes narrow at you, refusing to give anything away before he knew where this was going. “Okay, go on.”

“And I sort of heard you through the walls.” You look up at him now, your guilty stare spelling it out for him. His eyes widen before he can conceal his surprise, cheeks warming up instantly because oh boy, he knew exactly where this was going. “And then, I sort of...joined.”

“You lied to me!” he shouts, shocked smile on his face as he recalls the way you had replied to his texts, telling him you had just gotten home and going the extra mile to say you were in a totally different room when in reality, you were sprawled out in your bed after just getting off to the sound of him.

Filthy. And also kind of hot. Jungkook was definitely into that, something he’ll totally proposition you into doing again because why not.  

“I know! I couldn’t help it, it was so hot, and I felt so guilty. But, you’re technically the reason why my orgasm gave me my epiphany and let me realize I really do like you. So, I think I did us both a favor by being a dirty liar.” He’s laughing instantly, fingers gripping your cheeks to turn your head up, planting a firm kiss onto your lips obnoxiously.

“Alright, you’re forgiven. Plus, consider us even because I have definitely heard you getting off on your own plenty of times too.” A squeal of surprise fills the air as you swat at his chest, burying your face into his shirt and feeling the rumble of his laughter. It really wasn’t ever intentional. The walls are thin, you weren’t exactly quiet, and he couldn’t just lay there and ignore it. So call him an opportunist, or a pervert, because you were one too. 

Jungkook is cheeky though, knowing how to get under your skin in the best way, and you can already tell you’re in for a ride when he gets close to your ear and whispers, “You wanna show me how you did it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you snort, peering up at him with mischief in your eyes.

“You did say I could torture you later.” He smiles innocently, fingers pinching your chin as he kisses you again. “It’s later.”

The sweet laughter that escapes you makes his heart skip a beat, still not able to come to terms that this was happening and wasn’t some dream of his that he’d wake up from. He kisses the tops of your cheeks first, then your nose, before reaching your lips, his hand gently caressing your skin. Jungkook had no intention of torturing you tonight, knowing how tired you typically were after work on a normal day, and after drawing two orgasms out of you that left you shaking, he knows how close you are to sleep with the way your eyes droop. 

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on crushes and love?” he mumbles against your lips, inching back to stare down at you. 

“I’m glad I stopped looking for it in the wrong places.” Your hands wrap around his neck, toying with his hair before pulling him back to you, reattaching your lips because you just couldn’t seem to get enough of him. 

Every single moment you shared, from moving in and awkwardly trying to get to know each other, the ups and downs of failed relationships, the push that started it all at the club, and every almost moment in between brought you full circle to right now. There probably won’t be a moment where you don’t wish you had done this sooner, worked past your worry of ruining a good friendship in fear of what could happen, but the past helped mold you into who you are, strengthening your relationship to be the way it is now.

Right now had you thinking of the future, and there was nothing more exciting than that.

[ratcatcher0325]

A Fraction of Justice (Chapter #14)

Chapter #14. Alexander nerds out. Will it land him in hot water? 

Previous: Chapter #13

Next: Chapter #15

CW: Angst, injury, adult language

Tag list: @gatlily @grbene @patrocolus3 @lucentbliss @beautifulunknowntrash @titan-god-420 @andraimeide @themarlo @cup-o-chai @lucentbliss @raccoontoaster @tolsizedlove @not-a-space-alien

________________________________________

A FRACTION OF JUSTICE

Chapter #14: Test of Knowledge and Skills

Word Count: 5,182 Read Time: Approx. 40 mins

[Natalie’s POV]

I couldn’t help myself, I burst into laughter. “What? Did, did I just hear the words that came out of your mouth correctly?? You’re a pet! You don’t know jack shit about legal stuff. It doesn’t even apply to you…” he made a disagreeable little face at that. Between chuckles, I managed to keep going, “Maybe your owner had on, like, Judge Judy or something and you liked all the drama. Poor little guy, you didn’t think any of that was real did you? It’s all scripted, you know that right?” As I wiped a tear from my eye, he boiled with rage, his little brows furrowed deeply over his eyes, his full lips pressed together in a tight pout, his arms crossed. Oh boy. Someone’s about to throw another fit. Was I babysitting a pet or a toddler? The line was becoming more and more unclear.

“Hey, don’t get pissy with me… look, I promise you, property law is literally the most boring fucking subject on the planet. Like, look at this…” I stretched out my arm reaching for the computer mouse, my elbow resting right beside him. He flinched, squirming away. I wished he wouldn’t do that. I wasn’t going to hurt him. All I wanted was to just pick him up and cuddle with him… What was so terrible about that? I shook the mouse to wake up my monitor and then scrolled to the next question in my practice exam, “…who in their right mind gives a flying fuck about the Cambridge Property Indictment of 2015? I bet you think that’s wildly interesting?” I said it sarcastically, but as I pulled my eyes from the screen and stared down at him, he, to my utter confusion, did seem excited. Like the class nerd that’s practically falling out of his seat to answer the question, he was suddenly all squirmy and flushed in the face. All that judgmental talk about intelligence, and this was what interested him? How? Why? I was in law school and I’d rather set myself on fire than read about this shit.

He whipped over his shoulder, leaning his weight on his hands to get a better look. He was whispering the words of the question as his eyes flitted across the screen. What the hell are you doing, little guy? His fingers flew up to his chin as he traced the edge of his bottom lip, thinking. After a very short pause, he shouted triumphantly, pointing at the screen, “C! The answer is C!”

Awww, okay. This was admittedly cute. Somebody wants to feel included doesn’t he? Good guess, little man, but no way that’s the right answer.

I smiled down at him, he returned my gaze with a grumpy little sneer of superiority. He was so sure he was right, but what could he possibly know? Confidently, I clicked on B. The program made an error noise and displayed my incorrect answer in red. The choice highlighted in green and shown to be correct, was, in fact, C. He laughed, and pointed, proud to have outsmarted me.

My ears burned, how did you—??? “Okay, ha ha, very cute. Look at you knocking it out of the park with a little beginner’s luck! I know you want to show me you’re very smart. Well, good job, little man.” I gave him and thumbs up and then patted his head with the tip of my finger and he snarled at me. “Now, eventually, I do have to actually get work done so… you want me to put a movie on my phone or something for you?”

He grumbled, “NO! I can use this to… uh…” he seemed to falter, as if he was recalculating what he was going to say, “I..I’d like to look at these with you.” I raised an eyebrow, literally why? His shoulders drooped, he spoke through gritted teeth “Please….” He was peering up at me in earnest, bright, blue eyes begging me to include him in my studying. Well who could say no to that, I mean, come on! Look at that cute little face!

“You are officially the weirdest pet in the whole world… but, fine, let’s get your leg all bandaged up and then you can ‘help’ me…” For some reason, this made him absolutely delighted. His eyes sparkled, then he quickly realized he was revealing too much and tamped it down, clearing his throat and trying to appear nonchalant. I saw that, you weirdo.

***************

What was wrong with me? In my enthusiasm, I’d almost given myself away, twice. I needed to develop a better poker face, within the next five minutes, or I was doomed. I hated the way she looked at me in that sort of dreamy, half-lidded condescending gaze, a smile curving her lips. It was a look of adoration. It made my skin crawl. I wasn’t anyone’s adorable anything. Yes, I was, out of necessity, forced to stay here, forced to be cared for by a human, but I was not hers to coddle and coo after. I was a man on a very important mission. Plain and simple. I wouldn’t let her, or anyone else, get in the way of that.

She rose from her chair and disappeared again, now I had a few precious moments to myself. I took a deep breath and shook my head. Suddenly, I found myself laughing, out loud. What were the odds I’d end up in a law student’s clutches? It was the best possible option of the worst possible scenario. I leaned over and peered at the textbook splayed out to my right. It was opened to a page about circuit courts. My heart beat faster. All this information, right at my finger tips! And spelled out for me with an index and everything! Here, I could actually read about complex legal concepts with context and without the presumption that I’d already passed the bar. No more piecemeal learning. I could finally, earnestly, educate myself! I couldn’t help smiling as I pressed a palm onto the glossy page. But then, I had another, less encouraging thought. It would be difficult to sneak around her desk at night, what with it being in the bedroom. Before in the old man’s library, his bedroom door would close and I had the whole office to myself. Here, in this set up, I’d have to get creative on how to approach this. Before I could devise a plan, I’d run out of time to collect my secret thoughts, because here she came again, something enclosed in her fist.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was apprehensive about her doctoring me up. Her fingers were massive columns of flesh that bruised my skin at her lightest touch. How much excruciating pain am I about to be subjected to? There was simply no way she was going to do this dexterously enough to not do at least some damage. After all, she practically flayed me earlier with nothing but a cotton ball! Sweat started to bead on my brow as she sat down and leaned in. I tried my best to look calm, despite my stomach thrashing with nausea and the sound of blood pounding furiously in my skull.

“Awww, don’t be scared, little guy. I’m gonna be very gentle, I promise.” Still not a good enough poker face, huh? She saw right through me, “See, I’ve got some gauze and I’m going to cut up this bandage to fit you. I think it’s thick enough to keep your knee in place while it heals, without needing a stint. We’ll see. I know you think I’m this big, clumsy giant, but I’m going to be very careful, okay?” I simply nodded. If I spoke, my trembling voice would give me away. She held the bandage over my wound to figure out where she’d need to cut. The stretchy, beige material was wider across than the entire length of my leg. I hate this pathetic little body of mine.

As she brandished a pair of scissors, long and sharp enough to run me through if she felt so inclined, she flashed her deep brown eyes at me. “You know, I just realized, through all the excitement of your little fits and fights, you never told me your name. Care to share with the class?”

No, I don’t want you getting attached. I ran my fingers through my hair. She just stared at me, unrelenting. I refused to meet her eyes.

“Oh, that’s how we’re gonna be?” She smirked, I scowled, “Okay then, I guess I’ll just have to call you Cutest Widdle Guy Ever—“

My face burned bright red, “Alright! Alright!! It’s…Alexander.”

She lit up at that, eyes sparkling, a huge smile brightening her face, “Ooh! That’s lovely. It suits you.”

No cutesy, embarrassing remarks? Huh, that wasn’t so bad. Then, she continued, “Alexander… I really like it. It’s all stuffy and formal, like you… I can call you Alex for short! Oh, or… Xander!!”

“No you cannot.”

“Awww, c’mon Xandy! Ale-ale-oxen-free!”

“Do not call me that.”

“You’re no fun. You know that? Little grumpy guy…” I wanted to hurl myself off the edge of this desk and pray I landed head first.

“Are you done psychologically tormenting me? Isn’t it time you move on to the physical pain?”

“You are such a drama king! I swear to god, I don’t know how someone with less patience didn’t just wring your little neck before now…” Believe me, people have tried. “Well, come here. Let’s get you all fixed up. You know, it’s kinda funny… When I was a little kid, I was convinced I’d grow up to become a vet…” Yes, yes, that’s very nice. I do not care one bit about your boring, human backstory. As she droned on, she placed her magnifying glass into a stand that held it in place with an adjustable arm. She fiddled with the lamp and lens until it was trained over my knee. On my end, below, I got a gut-wrenchingly magnified image of her eye. Even more monstrously huge than normal.

Her fingers approached my ankle, she pinched it between thumb and index, lifting my leg up just sightly. My throat clenched as she got to work. “P-Please… be careful…” I hated how frightened and meek my voice sounded. The monster eye stared down at me with concern.

“Hey, I’ve gotcha. Don’t be scared. I’m sorry I hurt you earlier with the cotton ball, I promise I’ll be more careful. I’m taking good care of you, against your will, remember?” There was no edge to her voice. It was soft, gentle, genuine. In that moment, I softened. I wanted wholeheartedly to trust her. Besides, what other choice did I have? I brushed my hair from my eyes and nodded, my heart thundering away in my ribcage.

She pinched a minuscule wad of gauze and laid It gingerly over my torn knee. It was the perfect size. Slipping a pad of sticky notes beneath my heel, she freed up both her hands to attach the bandage. “Okay, we want this nice and firm so your kneecap is held in place but tell me if I’m cutting off your circulation, okay?” I winced, hesitantly nodding. The second the pad of her finger made contact with my swollen flesh, I was prepared to scream in pain. But, instead, by some unknown miracle, her massive fingers were featherlight. Very gingerly, she managed to wrap my knee and in a few moments it was all over. It was very rare that I was ever wrong, it was even more rare, in my experience, for humans to be good on their word. They so often overestimated themselves. I’d never admit it to her, but I was genuinely impressed. My entire knee was no bigger than her fingernail, yet, she’d managed to heal instead of hurt me.

She pushed away the magnifying glass and pulled the light from directly overhead, her head propped up in her hand, she gazed down at me with warm eyes, “Torture over. That wasn’t so terrible was it? How do you feel?” I was just grateful not to have to stare at every coarse eyelash, and swirl of color in her deep, brown irises.

“Fine. Good. Th-Thank you.”

“He does have manners! I’m shocked!” My face burned and I pulled away from her gaze staring at my leg. “Hey…” softly, carefully, she tipped my chin to face her, “If you can keep it up and stop being such a dick, maybe this won’t be so bad, huh?”

“You’re not getting away with me tromping around in a rainbow unicorn shirt and no pants, I will not respond to embarrassing nicknames and if you do something stupid, I have no choice but to call you on it, someone has to teach you… That is where I draw the line.”

“Damn… well, it was worth a try. That was, like, almost sixty full seconds of you actually being pleasant to be around.” She wasn’t angry though, a smirk brightened her eyes. I had an impulse to smile with her, but she wouldn’t win me over that easily. I stayed straight faced. She sighed, clearly disappointed. I’m not interested in befriending you, you get that right? I’m getting the hell out of here as soon as possible, so don’t get used to me. “Well, I’m gonna get back to it… If you wanted to watch or whatever.”

With a curt nod, I started to shuffle myself to face the computer monitor. It was awkward, as I still couldn’t bend my leg, I could feel her watching me. “Here, do you need help? I can pick you—“

“No. No, thank you.” I was not going to let her get used to that privilege, otherwise, I was fairly certain my feet would never touch the ground again. I cringed at the idea of being carted around like a child’s favorite stuffed toy. I wanted this leg to heal as soon as possible, I didn’t need any other reasons for her to see me as helpless. Eventually, I got myself turned around, facing the screen. I was still closer to her body than I would’ve liked. Her arm manipulating the mouse only a few inches away.

“Alright, little smarty pants. Let’s see if you can guess your way through this next one-“ she was saying this as a favor to me. To make me feel included. She had no idea I would be looking to answer them earnestly, and test my own knowledge.

I read the question. I knew the answer was B, but I pretended to be sheepish. She liked that. I know far more than you, wipe that smug look off your face. She guessed D. She was wrong, obviously. It took all my strength not to laugh at her. Rookie mistake, common misconception.

We moved on. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up this act. She clearly didn’t know anything and she would absolutely fail her upcoming exam at this rate. Had her professors taught her nothing? Next question… “It’s A.” The answer was obvious. It was easy if you knew anything about property tax codes.

“Okay, I hadn’t even finished reading it…” She clicked anyway. Green. My chest swelled with pride. “Dude… What? How? Are you, like, secretly good luck or something? ”

My face burned. You’re skating on thin ice, here, she’s going to start to figure you out if you don’t quell your inner know-it-all. I bit my lip, avoiding her eyes, “It just made the most logical sense, I guess. Like you said, beginner’s luck, right?” It killed my very soul not to take credit for what I knew was knowledge I had earned with my literal blood, sweat and tears.

***************

As I scanned the next question, I mumbled my thoughts out loud, “Uh oh, this one is about dogs, well, other animals, too, I guess. You okay with that?” He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. “What? I’m genuinely asking, you did nearly get murdered by one seemingly recently.”

“Fair enough. I can handle it.”

“Okay… let’s see… it’s asking about the second clause of Section 151 of the Massachusetts Animal Laws and Regulations… Shit, we just covered this last week…. I’m so useless at this… Okay, it’s like… ‘The mayor or board of selectmen, as the case may be, shall annually issue a warrant to the animal control officer’….” I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. He seemed very squirmy and nervous, like he was holding something back and was about to burst. Finally, he distracted me so much, I couldn’t help but address it, “What, is it? What’re you freaking out about down there?”

His face went red again, as if he’d been caught.

“Alexander… What?”

He swallowed hard, practically mumbling, “That’s the second clause of Section 151A.. Not Section 151…”

“What? I can’t hear you, little one, when you whisper like th—“

“‘An animal control officer shall not be a licensed animal dealer registered with the United States Department of Agriculture. An animal control officer shall not give, sell or turn over any animal which may come into the officer's custody to a business or institution licensed or registered as a research facility or animal dealer with the United States Department of Agriculture either privately or in the course of carrying out the officer's official assignments as an agent for the officer's municipality. A municipality shall not give, sell or turn over an animal which may come into its custody to any business or institution licensed or registered as a research facility or animal dealer with the United States Department of Agriculture.’” He repeated it verbatim at lightning speed, before clasping his hands over his mouth.

“…. What… the… fuck?? How did you… You haven’t been guessing this whole time, have you?” He looked terrified. All traces of attitude and wit had flown out the window. He was trapped, vulnerable and exposed. I had no idea why. I wasn’t going to punish him or anything. “Woah, hey, I’m not gonna, like, rat you out to the Thought Police or something, you can tell me. How’d you learn all this stuff?” His brow furrowed and his chest heaved.

“It’s nothing… it’s just… He was a lawyer… the, the old man…” was I supposed to know who that was? He registered my confusion, “The man who, who kept-“ his face twisted into a grimace, “me… I picked some things up over the years.” So clearly there was no love lost between his owner and him. I wondered if that left him with nowhere to go?

“Okay, see, that wasn’t such a big deal. That’s cool, so he taught you some legal stuff? Why were you so afraid to tell me that? I’m not gonna, like, hurt you for being smart. If that was the case I would’ve just killed you five minutes after we met, you were already being a smart ass, then!” He didn’t really seem to be listening. I wondered if that was the whole truth. Had he been abused, or something? Was he scared to tell me? He was already so worked up I decided not to push it. “Hey, Alley-oop—“

His head snapped up, “Don’t—“ there was my mean little guy.

“Will you help me?”

************

My heart rate was finally coming back down to rest. I had been on the cusp of just telling her everything. I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t trust her. She was condescending, ignorant… She’d shown a sweet side, but that was fleeting. You certainly are desperate for solidarity aren’t you, Alexander? If I was going to find a confidant, it would have to be someone highly intelligent, well-versed in law, who could appreciate my case in its entirety. Not this flailing student. Her sudden question jarred me.

“I’m sorry?”

“Maybe you won’t be such a little asshole if you’re doing something that interests you. Will you help me study for the bar? I’m clearly shit at it, and you seem to know a lot. Like, a lot. Will you… teach me, Alexander?”

Why was my face turning bright red? Why did hearing that make my heart soar? That was the kindest thing any human had ever said to me. I guess I was pretty starved for praise, “Okay.” I bit my tongue and kept myself from remarking that she had a lot of work ahead of her. Could I mold her into a worthy ally? I wasn’t sure. But, if I could earn my keep here, it guaranteed the care I needed to get back on my feet.

Her soft chuckling pulled me back into focus. She pushed her chair away from the desk and leaned down, propping her chin up on her folded hands, directly in front of me. At this position, she was still looking down at me, head resting on the surface of the desk, but I estimated my eye-line may have actually been higher than hers if I stood to my full height. I didn’t absolutely detest her being so close this time, “Wow. I can’t believe I found a nerdy pet. Like, of all of the little guys like you running around, I found one who’s a nerd for property law. I guess we were meant to meet huh?”

I hazarded a ghost of a smile, “Yeah, maybe.”

She glanced down at the thick bandage, “How’s your leg?”

I brushed my fingertips over the rough surface of the tan colored wrapping, “It’s okay.”

Her brow furrowed slightly as she sought my eyes again, “I wish I could give you medicine but I have no idea what the doses should be, you know? I don’t want to accidentally kill you. Not after I just got my study buddy.”

“Nope. Absolutely not.”

“…Annnnnd there’s that shining personality coming through. You’re such a little contradiction you know that? You’re, absolutely adorable with your beautiful blue eyes and your pretty little face and then you open you mouth…”

“I don’t know about that, I’m just defending myself against the worst possible nicknames in the known world.”

“Ouch! Worst possible? Is that a challenge? Because I think I can be even more creative…”


***************


“NO! No, no, please no. No. Don’t look at me like that… Ugh! What have I done?” He buried his head in his hands. I wanted to pet his head and shoulders so badly. Instead, I blew on his hair, making it fly in all sorts of wild directions. He jolted upright at this, flailing his arms, “Stop it! Focus! You need to study and stop using me as a distraction!”

“Ugh! Fine! Damn you for making sense!” We went through the rest of the section. He passed with flying colors, explaining to me the gaps in my logic as we went. He only missed one question, which I could tell genuinely pissed him off. What a little nerd!

Finally, my eyes were getting bleary. I couldn’t help a huge yawn. After all the excitement of dealing with this little pint-sized terror, I’d forgotten how utterly exhausted I was. Now that things had settled, my mind and body were shutting down. I couldn’t stare at the screen any more, I needed to sleep. “I can’t do any more. It’s time for a nap. I’m so fucking tired.” His little mouth hung wide in protest, he sputtered. Clearly this was fun for him. He stared at me with adorable pleading eyes. “Stop that! I can’t, I literally can’t stay awake any longer.” He glared at me, “ I know, I know, I wasn’t the one nearly eaten and dragged though the mud today. You’ve got me beat in the sob story department, but I can’t learn anything if my brain has shut off. C’mon, after everything you’ve been through, you must be halfway to keeling over. You should get some sleep.” His little shoulders slumped. Poor little guy. But even as he pouted, an uncontrollable yawn came over him, “Ha! See? I’m right!” He rolled his eyes, reluctantly nodding.

*************

“You already had a bath, but I need to take a shower before crawling into bed. Now, I don’t know what kind of shenanigans you’re capable of getting up to when my back is turned… You may be a lame-ass little nerd, but you’re too smart for your own good and I still don’t trust you. So, don’t go anywhere okay?” I supposed it was her way of asking me not to crawl off of here and snap my own neck. With a deadpan look, I simply gestured to my leg. “Oh. Right. You can’t, can you? Good. I mean. Not that, I’m not glad you’re hurt… I just—“

“Jesus, I get it. Go shower. I’m not going anywhere.” Unfortunately. I was still sort of pissed she’d made us stop. I could’ve kept going for hours, just like with the old man, despite how exhausted I was, we’d press on. I wanted to learn as much as I possibly could. I watched as she receded to the bathroom door and I heard the rush of water pouring against the porcelain basin of her bathtub. The rain continued to drown the world outside her window. I decided while I was alone, without a human looming over me and trying to ‘help’, I’d test out my leg in its new bandage. I crawled over to a ceramic mug with Lord of the Rings memorabilia on it (Yes, I had read all of the books, aloud, when I was learning to read, and yes, of course, the similarities I shared with Hobbits were painfully obvious but I always preferred the Elves, myself). I used its lip to stand up, gingerly testing how much weight it could hold. I couldn’t quite plant my foot flat on the ground yet, but I got about seven steps, balancing precariously on the ball of my right foot before crashing into the keyboard. It was amazing what a difference adrenaline made. I had managed to almost run when I’d feared for my life. Now, the best I could do was hobble. Luckily, the accidental button mashing just led to an error sound, and no hotkeys were pressed. I breathed a sigh of relief as I settled back into a seated position.

Just then, she emerged from the shower. I didn’t immediately turn to look, but I heard the door squeal open and heard the muted thumping of her feet on the carpet. It sounded like she was getting closer. When I turned, she was leaning over the desk, reaching past me for something. She was wrapped in only a towel. Her wet hair was clinging to her neck and one side of her face, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. Immediately, I averted my gaze, face bright red. I hoped she couldn’t tell. If she did, she was kind enough not to say anything. I certainly didn’t want to be accused of gawking. Especially not from this low vantage point. She shuffled a few papers aside and found her hairbrush, of all things, buried beneath a pile of other items. She disappeared again. My shoulders relaxed.

As I listened to the drone of a hairdryer, I ran my fingers, back and forth, over my bottom lip; a habit when I was thinking. I hoped she’d let me sleep on the desk. I knew humans were creatures of habit and I had a feeling wherever she placed me the first time would be where I would go. I wanted to make sure I had easy access to everything when she was gone or asleep. She returned, this time clothed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. “Alright, come here, Xanadu.” She crossed the room and reached down to scoop me up. I decided to pick my battles and not mention the god-awful nickname this time. I had bigger fish to fry.

“Wait! I was thinking I’d be fine to just sleep up here. You can just bring me a shirt or something to lay down on…” She raised her brows, chuckling.

“Absolutely not!” What?? No! “I want you nearby in case you need something. And what if you fall? There’s no way I could catch you in time.” I sputtered in protest, “Calm down. Hey, I’m not going to make you sleep in the bed with me or anything. I know you’d hate that. Look, I’ll just…” Without asking she pinched my ribs between her fingers and easily plucked me off the desk. I clung to her knuckles as she crossed the room. I hated how minimally dressed I still was. “Why don’t I put you right here? Comfy and cozy, yeah?” She opened her beside table drawer about a quarter of the way, shoved all of her assorted junk to one side and sat me down in the corner closest to her bed.

“I don’t want to be stuck in here, please, listen to—“ She reached down and pressed a finger to my lips, dwarfing my entire face. Only my eyes peered out above the edge of her nail.

“Hush, little man. I don’t have the energy to argue right now but if I don’t put you somewhere secure I won’t be able to sleep because I’ll worry about you the whole time. I just wanna keep you safe, so shoot me!” I probably would if I could. Damn this woman. She’d grown on me, just the slightest bit, and now it all came crashing down again. She disappeared and came right back with extremely soft, baby pink socks in her hands. We have a theme going with the emasculating colors, here, don’t we?

“Shut up. Get over it. Pink used to be for boys. They’re the softest thing I own, I’m trying to be nice.” It was as though she’d read my mind. She plucked me up again, this time holding my chest with her finger and spine with her thumb, raising me up just enough to pile the fabric beneath me and then sat me down again. Okay, they were incredibly soft and comfortable. I admittedly felt my eyelids drooping as I settled into this nest of pink fuzziness. She leaned in, smiling as I laid back. “Get some sleep. I’ll be right over here if you need anything.” Her hand twitched. I knew she wanted to touch me. I was grateful she didn’t. She flipped off the light switch, casting the room into moderate darkness. I heard the rustle of sheets and the squeak of box springs as she climbed into bed. I laid there, in the quiet, feeling the thrum of my own heart, as I listened to her breath. She seemed to have fallen asleep instantly. Maybe I could afford an hour or two of rest myself. But not for long, I was still sharing space with a human, after all. I closed my dry, bleary eyes and drifted off to sleep.

[darklcy]

𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬

attack on titan masterlist | spotify | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 of 6 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 

pairing: yelena x gn! reader

genre: college AU, slight toxic relationship, unrequited, angst to eventual fluff

summary: college parties! gotta love them, right?

warnings: slight NSFW, mentions of making out, alcohol, drunk crying, and yelena being ho3 (like a big one)

word count: 12.7k

The liquor was way too bitter for your liking.

Usually you preferred more tropical, fruity drinks, the ones someone could enjoy on the beach on vacation somewhere. Not the sour, intense ones that burned your throat as you swallowed, like the drink resting in your red solo cup right now. 

The music beat thunderously into your eardrums from the speakers, for sure causing a nuisance for anyone walking outside on the streets. Shifting your weight from one hip to the other, you watched the dance floor from the sidelines, mindlessly tapping your fingers to the beat on your cup.

Yelena seemed to be having a good time, from what you saw, at least. Her hand had met Historia's waist the second you two waltzed through the door, not sparing you a second glance before disappearing into the crowd. She's a bit excited, you told yourself. You rolled your eyes.

A vibrating sensation went off in your back pocket, grabbing your attention. You pulled out your phone and opened it.

Mikasa: Are you at the party? We just got here.

Your eyebrows raised. You'd almost forgotten about Mikasa and the others.

Yeah! Yelena and I got here around 15 mins ago.

A little thumbs-up emoticon popped up above your message.

Okay, we're coming in now.

Just as you darted your eyes up away from the screen, the front door leisurely opened up, revealing Mikasa, Eren, and Armin making their way inside. The three of them searched the room filled with drunk dancing bodies with the intents of finding any familiar faces, and in the midst of their search, Mikasa's eyes fell onto yours. You smiled as you lifted your arm to wave at them. The three of them returned the gesture.

"I'm gonna go meet up with some friends, okay?"

Eren shouted over the loud bass of the music, pointing his thumb upstairs.

"Okay, just let us know when you're ready to head out."

Armin shouted back, patting his friend on the arm before turning away to follow Mikasa through the crowd. With some time, they finally met up with you at your safe spot away from the chaos.

"Hey [First]! How are you?"

Armin greeted with a smile as he pulled you into a quick hug.

"I'm doing good! How are you guys?" You spoke while Mikasa moved to hug you next, her arms lingering around you a second more.

"We're good. Midterms went okay, I think." Mikasa responded for the two of them. You nodded and stuffed your hands in your pockets.

"Do you want any drinks? There's a lot to choose from." You inquired while beckoning over to the kitchen filled with scattered empty red solo cups and a chorus of different liquors and mixers. Without a word, Mikasa picked up a shot cup and filled it up, throwing her head back as she threw the liquid down her throat. Armin shook his head.

"Nah, that's okay. I'm driving."

You frowned. "You sure? I don't want you to feel obligated to look after us or something."

He shook his head again with a playful grin. "I'm okay. You two go ahead."

Turning over to Mikasa, who was already pouring her next shot, you shrugged and brought your own cup up to your lips. With a small sip, you scrunched up your nose and eyebrows in disgust, biting down on your tongue to avoid puking.

"That's so nasty."

Mikasa tilted her head. "You don't have to drink it. There's plenty of other options."

You licked your lips. "Well...Yelena insisted I try this one. Said it was good."

The ravenette cocked a brow. "What is it? Smirnoff?"

You shrugged as you stared down into your cup. "I honestly have no idea."

The three of you leaned your backs on a nearby kitchen counter and began to make small talk, catching up on any missed events and how you've been. You usually see them every now and then, whether it be grabbing some dinner or studying together, but the three of you, including Eren, had become a close friend group. You appreciated the trio a lot. You felt like you could trust them with anything...

...So naturally they knew nothing about your situationship with Yelena. Nor the fact that you were desperately in love with her.

And you intended to keep it that way. This was something you had to deal with, and you also just didn't want them to know. A part of you feared that speaking about it would cause some bad luck and confirm any anxieties, so to be safe, you kept your mouth shut.

Zipped. Locked. Key thrown down the drain into the ocean.

You managed to take a few more sips of the foul beverage before officially calling it quits, abandoning your cup on a vacant table. The three of you inched closer to the dance floor to warm up to the music, letting yourself bump to the beat. The song that had been playing faded out as it ended, the next to play on the playlist rolling on. 

The familiar fade-in of Voodoo Queen by Medicine Man Revival echoed throughout the house, spiking your interest instantly. As the first guitar notes struck, those who recognized the song cheered and whooped, also sharing a liking to the band just like you. A toothy smile outstretched your lips as you eagerly turned towards Mikasa and Armin.

"Oh my god I love this song can we pleease go dance?"

You practically begged on the spot, cheeks flushing as the small amount of alcohol kicked in. The two laughed at your expression, Mikasa bumping your shoulder with hers before leading the way to the middle of the crowd.

Your body swayed to the rhythm while you belted out the lyrics with a humorously big grin. Mikasa swished her short hair back and forth as she lost herself to the beat and to the alcohol in her system. Armin wasn't much of a dancer, but the sight of you two caused him to let loose, laughing all the way.

 Just as the beat dropped, the singer's voice beginning to draw out the chorus and the guitar notes dragging, you lifted an arm in the air as you shouted the chorus line with the rest of the crowd, throwing your head back and letting the music carry your body. Armin shook his head at the sight of you before his attention drifted to his phone after receiving a text message. After reading it, he looked back up, tucking his phone away.

"Eren just told me Jean's here so I'm gonna go say hi to him."

He spoke more to Mikasa than you, since you were too caught up in the song to notice he was even talking. Mikasa shouted an 'okay' and he dispersed into the bodies of dancing college students, leaving the two of you alone. When the chorus died down, you ran a hand through your hair and tilted your head when you noticed Armin's disappearance.

"He went to go say hi to Jean." Mikasa answered your unspoken inquiry. You nodded in understanding, uttering out an 'oh,' before returning to the music. Just as the rhythm built up again, the same chorus line about to sing, your hazy eyes met the two figures you unconsciously had been avoiding the whole time you'd been on the dance floor.

The beat dropped with the singer and guitar in the background, those around you yelling out the words and dancing with each other. This time you didn't sing, though in the back of your head, you wanted to forget she was even there and go back to listening to one of your favorite bands, the one you two would listen to, but you couldn't look away. You heart dropped off its cliff into the pit of your stomach as you stared at Yelena and Historia dancing, faces close together and bodies swaying with each other. Her hands rested on Historia's neck and around her waist, bringing her in more and more. Historia had a hand wrapped hers while the other wrapped itself around Yelena's nape, her mouth releasing drunk giggles while looking up at the taller blonde with big eyes. Yelena peered down at her with a sneer, alcohol and lust buzzing through her veins.

What tore you up most was how Yelena was singing. She was singing the song, your song, to her. Dipping down, she landed a passionate, sloppy kiss on Historia's mouth, the sexual tension leaking out and dripping onto the floor, laughing at you as it floated by. Yelena's hand fell from Historia's neck and landed on her breasts, not giving a single care the two of them laid right out on the open floor. Historia tilted her head back and moaned as Yelena attacked her neck with wild kisses, biting and sucking on the skin.

Mikasa noticed your blank, stoic stare and the way you froze, and turning around, it didn't take long for her to know just who you were looking at. Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the two, horny and too drunk to care, and when she whipped back to you, you were gone.

You pushed and pushed your way out of the room, almost knocking a few people off their feet as you bustled towards the kitchen. Opening up a fresh new bottle, you poured a full shot, throwing it back into your mouth before pouring another one. And then another. Another. More and more and more.

You needed to forget. To ignore. You needed more.

You were on your sixth shot when Mikasa found you. You grunted in frustration at the burn in your throat, void of any water or mixer. Just pure bitterness. You refused to feel upset. You fought back your upcoming tears and anger, instead focusing on the fact this damn bottle won't open.

"[First]? What are you doing-,"

"I can't get this damn-this damn cap off. I want another."

Mikasa grabbed onto the bottle and pulled it away from you. "Have you had any water?"

You ignored her and reached for the liquor. "No gimme me it. Gimme ittt!"

She refused to budge. "[First]. You need water."

You sputtered and laughed. "YOU need water."

"I'm being serious. You need water before drinking any more."

You whined and crossed your arms, stumbling away from the counter and walking to the opposite side of the kitchen. Mikasa reluctantly put down the bottle and trudged over to the fridge, eyes refusing to leave your form. You slouched your upper body over the island table, hanging your head down. Grabbing a water bottle and pulling the cap off, she handed it over to you.

"Here."

You threw your head up, hair flying about, to stare at the bottle before roughly grabbing it and taking a few sips. "There. I've been cured."

Mikasa rolled her eyes. "If you're going to be petty I'm gonna get Armin to drive you home."

Twirling on your heel, you reached for the bottle you'd been fighting with earlier and twisted it open, letting the contents spill into another shot. 

"You're not my mooommy so I honestly don't have to listen to you right now. You could be just...you could just go."

You hastily downed the shot and threw the cup to the side. "Actually please don't. I lied. I was lying to you."

Mikasa scoffed and reached for the bottle of liquor again, pulling it safely towards her. "I know."

With your head bobbing under its weight, cheeks flushed and warm, eyes rolling back, you tumbled under yourself to the floor and pulled your knees up to your chest. Mikasa followed you down and nestled herself in front of you, sitting criss-cross. Your eyelids shut as your forehead fell onto your kneecaps.

"[First]."

You hummed, not looking up. Mikasa sighed sadly. "What happened?"

That single, damn question, even in your drunken state, knocked the peg off the dam, flooding your eyes with water. The key that locked your lips shut suddenly unlocked it carelessly, not giving a single fuck to what you were about to say and who you were saying it to.

"...She-She doesn't. Doesn't fucking love me. Only uses me. I just want her..I want her to look at mee. Love me."

Mikasa's eyes widened. This..was a first. Especially coming from you. You'd never mentioned anyone in your life romantically. Though...with who you were staring at so dejectedly on the dance floor...She wondered.

"..Who?"

You whined as you tugged on your hair harshly, tears dripping onto the floor.

"Fucking Yelena!" Pulling your face off your kneecaps, you greeted your friend with a flushed, snotty expression, eyes leaking with water and lips quivering.

"I'm so tired. Mikasa I'm so tireddd. I just...I don't wanna do this anymore. i can't even fucking tell her because she's-she's just so fucking-she jumps from person to person. I can't talk to her. I mean, she's literally-she's so.."

Your words slurred together more and more, rushing together like one long sentence. You were so drunk. It pained Mikasa to see you weep like this. You'd never been this vulnerable and open in the many months you've known each other. She had to do something. Moving to sit beside you, she wrapped a comforting arm around your shoulder and pulled you to her, letting your head fall onto her shoulder.

You wiped at your face with a sleeve, mixing the sweat, snot, and tears together into a clothed mess. You'd worry about the shirt later. Your vision spun under your eyelids and inside your brain. You'd never drank this much before. You'd deal with the consequences later, but now you just wanted to wallow in your pain. 

Wallow in the fact that Yelena didn't love you. Wallow in the irony that she danced with another girl, more importantly kissed her, to one of your favorite songs. Wallow in your everlasting, agonizing love you held for the asshole you wished you hated but could never, ever, feel any sort of resentment towards.

Mikasa rubbed her hand up and down your arm as she hushed your sobs, her cheek resting on top your head. She damned Yelena for treating you this way, and she damned herself for not knowing what was going on with you. There was no way she could've known, yet she wished somehow that she could've noticed any signs earlier, and comforted you then. She cares so much for you, didn't you see it?

As your cries hollowed out, knocking you into a light sleep, Mikasa sighed and stared up at the ceiling, damning herself for harboring these feelings.

These feelings for you that fell unrequited.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Sept 2021 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Don’t Say No Ep 9 (Line) - It’s my corny af hurt/comfort soap opera that I watch at 1.5x and skip all the sex scenes and Fiat crying, but I like it that way, so there. Yes I am one of those people who only eats the outside of the peanut M&Ms, why do you ask? Episode recaps here. 

Bite Me Ep 5 (Viu & Viki) - sometimes I feel like this show is skipping all the important bits, or having them occur off screen intentionally, like some ancient Greek play. Still, the depth of the feeling understood between the two leads is clearly transferred to us despite that. Are they dating? Sure seems that way. Without anything being actually said about it. It’s oddly magical. I talked a bit about the north/south divide and food as a love language with regards to kao soi in this post. 

7 Project Ep 5 The Breakup Zone (iQiYi & YouTube) - another het installment, so I skipped it. Nash. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Peach of Time Ep 10 fin - A Korean BL (maybe not BL tho) featuring Thai talent that really went beyond a lot of tropes into interesting territory and allegory in a way only Korea does. I hope we get more collabs like this, perhaps happier than this one next time? RECOMMENDED only if you are prepared for The Sad. Because it is quite sad.  

x Friend or Lover (YouTube) Ep 6 - still waiting on the final of this Taiwanese indie series.  

Love is Science? (BL sub plot on Viki) Ep 14 (aired ep 15) - Taiwanese drama finally got subbed yesterday, so those of us who are waiting seem to be on a week’s delay. The BL couple actually has the most interesting story arc and the most unusual character growth. I’m enjoying how unpredictable these two are. Honestly, they could have gotten their own series with this much story - and now I really want that for after the baby comes. I’m a little sad we didn’t get the coming out in the skate park sequence (LOOK I love coming out drama, especially with sporty friends, it’s a THING), but I also get why the writers are doing what they are with these boys. And the actors sure can handle it. Taiwan at it’s finest.  

Love Is the series (YouTube) Ep 5 - continues to be fine for a V-BL but not all that actually good. 

See You After Quarantine? (Viki) Ep 6, 7 - Taiwanese gameboys with Japanese talent stuck in, what more could we ask? AND THEN they gave us some *thirsty boi* action, great kisses, and charmed the pants off... well... everyone. Taiwan, we don’t deserve you. Honestly, you spoil us. Turns out Aaron Lai is the best wingman any gay Japanese man in quarantine could ask for. Everyone should be watching this. It’s utterly charming. 

The Tasty Florida (Viki) Ep 3 & 4 - this Korean BL so fucking cute. Look it’s formless and too short but simultaneously aching and kinda special-sweet. But Korea has got to settle into something a bit longer for their BL for everyone’s sake. It’s time. Light On Me proved it was possible. I’m not asking for much, just 15 min+ of fresh content with at least a 10 ep arc. 

In Case You Missed It

Someone dropped K-BL movie cut of 2015′s The Lover series onto YouTube. The series was about 4 different couples all living in the same apartment complex, one of the 4 was a BL plot about a sunshine sweetie Japanese tourist who ends up roommates with a hot shy tsundere Korean boy. It’s 1.5 hours, proving Korea and stretch its BL when it wants to. 

Read more about it here. 

GOSSIP!

Rumors of OhmFluke to star in new Thai BL Oh! My Sunshine Night. It’s from Newsinfinity Entertainment who announced the casting and showed the couple in workshops. This is this (small) production house’s first BL and they aim to “appeal to to general audiences* with a “broader view of BL that everyone will watch.” Which is code for LOW heat, light gay, soft boys. If this happens I think we can expect this to be Thailand doing Korean-style BL. 

* GENERAL AUDIENCE? Let’s be clear no piece of media will EVER appeal to everyone. Here is the USA “general audience” is code for “families with socially conservative values and children who are still minors” AKA what used to be prime time TV watchers AKA suburbia. 

 The concept is analytically old fashioned and so fractured at this juncture (socially economically spatially politically) that “general audience” is actually impossible to target and it doesn’t really exist. But try telling that to the publicity department. 

We also call this the “Disney live action demo.” (Think Pirates of the Caribbean.) I occasionally refer to them as “the Simpsons.” And they’re about as realistic. All that to say I am VERY suspicious of Oh! My Sunshine Night‘s production house. 

To My Star does seem to be getting a second season, same director, same mains. Korea is much better about executing on its promises than Thailand, but until I see proof of filming or an honest trailer, my favorite boys are staying in the gossip section. I don’t wanna get my hopes up. (Honestly now, how many of you also want an alt reality with these two as a couple but Kim Kang Min playing his long suffering cardiologist intern character from Hospital Playlist? Just me?) 

I reported on Unforgotten Night a while ago. It seems to have been fully cast now, I still think the publicity stills make it look like a joke. But with this line-up I guess it’s even more of an alt answer to KinnPorsche. 

You know that thing that happens in media when suddenly we get multiples of the same style of movie or show at once? It’s now happening with BL. Love triangles. Restaurants. And now mafia. 

Cutie Pie (our arranged marriage Thai BL staring Zee) dropped some wardrobe fitting photo ops. Also... fancy pants sexy suits that fit, so that’s exciting. 

Starting Soon

My Mate Match from Starhunter should be starting on Line TV next Saturday. Usually, Line has subs relatively quickly and is available internationally. However the fact that the trailer is not subbed and the show is not listed on Line’s site has me nervous. No idea on length of run either. 

Starhunter studio doesn’t have a great track record in general for narrative arcs and this one is not based on a y-novel so could get waffly. This is a roommates love triangle BL about a boy who is looking for one roommate and ends up with two vying for his home and his heart. Stars Jet as the uke lead which I’m pretty happy about as he’s got great comedic timing and is accustomed to BL. He’s opposite two friends/co-actors from Gen Y and other projects, so we know they’re comfortable with each other. They could do great things... if they get a decent script. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moment?

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

liar liar

request: I have a request, the reader is dating Spencer, and she and JJ are the ones that know that Emily faked her death. I’m thinking of it taking place in “It Takes A Village,” and she has to deal with Spencer being upset with her, like he was with JJ, but it has a fluff ending? Thanks!

for: @flklrevrmre​

word count: 3,722                                                                                     reading time: 15 mins

a/n: i) if you guys want to be added to my taglist lmk ii) can we all simultaneously fall in love with asa butterfield so i can read more fanfic about him? iii) it’s good to be back ;)

masterlist

You’d think that in a room of profilers they’d be able to recognize the antsy twitches of my ankles and the incessant rubbing of my wrists. Let alone the fact that one of those profilers was someone who knew the inside of my skin better than I did. My staggered breath elicited an involuntary gulp from my esophagus, throwing off my composure.

I pretended to stare at the blank screen of the television in the round table room, dissociating myself from the events to come. Curious murmurs and the shuffling of feet behind me became a chilling tether that reminded me of my circumstances. My breath hitched slightly at the presence of Spencer’s voice, although even the comforting thought of him only aggravated the disquietude bubbling at the bottom of my stomach.

I feel like I’m standing on the precipice of a cliff with the rocks rumbling beneath me. I knew this was a burden, a responsibility that I had to keep for the team--for Emily. I know that I’m not alone on this cliff, but I also know that the weight of this secret was slowly pushing all of us on edge.

-

“Hotch, are you sure you want to do this now?” JJ questioned him with an astonishing look. I tucked my hands into my pockets, leaning against the round table to give his proposition some thought.

“It’s time,” he sighed, lost in his world of thought. “We’ve kept this for months, and Doyle won’t speak about Declan. We need Emily,” he continued, pulling out his phone to ready an alert for the team.

“You don’t think Morgan can get through Doyle without her?” she reasoned.

“No,” he firmly answered, pulling his phone to his ear, and walked out of the room to call Penelope.

JJ shook her head in disapproval, taking a seat on the tabletop behind her. “I don’t know about this Y/N,” she announced, turning her head to gauge my reaction. “I just feel like...it’s too soon,” she expressed.

I chewed on my bottom lip, my mind engulfed by one thing: Spencer.

“What?” I snapped out of my thoughts, JJ’s voice finally registering in my head.

“It’s too soon, don’t you think?” she sought my confidence, but in all honesty, I wasn’t sure either. “I’m sorry, JJ but I don’t know,” I confessed, unable to gather my thoughts, “All I can...all I can think about is Spencer. I know it’s selfish, but…” My voice was caught on my tongue. Although there is a reason for that, I’ve been lying to someone I loved for seven months.

At the mention of Spencer’s name, JJ moved from her position to sit idly next to me. She observed the solemn and grief-stricken expression on my face, reaching over to lay a tender hand on top of mine. “I know,” she reassured.

“But Hotch is right,” I reasoned, “Emily--t-the team--they have the right to know,” I stammered over my words as I took a calming breath, exhaling out my worries. “JJ, he’s going to be devastated.”

“Then...we’ll tell him together,” she justified, a motherly yet comforting air radiating from her.

-

Together. That was the plan.

“Everybody take a seat,” Hotch gestured to the team. He folded his arms together and peered at his colleagues with a stern yet apologetic expression. “Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team.”

Everyone looked around at each other with curious glances. Spencer, on the other hand, turned to me for an explanation. Although when I refused to meet his eyes, it was evident that something serious had occurred.

“As you know, Emily lost a lot of blood in her fight with Doyle,” Hotch lamented, observing the sudden pensive atmosphere of the room. From the corner of my eye, I saw Morgan clench and unclench his fists, empathetic about the guilt that still haunted him. “But the doctors were still able to stabilize her.”

An audible gasp escaped Garcia’s lips, instinctively turning to gauge at Derek’s countenance. But the only emotion present was turmoil. His features had hardened into bewilderment, letting Hotch’s words resonate in his mind. Rossi looked to Hotch while Spencer faced me and JJ. The expression on Spencer’s face was similar to Derek’s, he was in between disbelief and denial. Although what I couldn’t face was his pleading eyes that begged for my confirmation.

“...and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under convert exfiltration,” Hotch continued to explain, receiving pained looks from his peers. “Her identity was strictly need-to-know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel.”

“What does...what does this…” Garcia shook her head, stammering.

“She was assigned to Paris and given several identities--none of which we had access to for her security.” Hotch finished.

Morgan scoffed in incredulity, retreating into his mind. Standing up from his chair, he backed away from the table, clasping his hands behind his head. Garcia, frozen in her seat, spoke apprehensively with glassy eyes, “She’s alive?”

My heart broke at the anguished crack in her deliverance, remorse eating up my insides. Spencer’s posture straightened up in his chair, leaning forward to question Hotch’s place in all this. “But...we buried her,” Spencer rebutted in a strained voice.

“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision,” Hotch nodded at the team, “If anyone has any issues, they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues?” Morgan seethed, “Yeah, I got issues.”

The combined expressions of deception and the troublesome atmosphere was enough of a cue for the individual in question to step out. In all her glory, Emily unveiled herself by the door with a conciliatory frown upon her lips. Her fingers were tethered together, an idiosyncrasy of hers that became apparent at the times of disquiet.

“Did you...you know about this?” Spencer flipped his focus on me and JJ, “Did you both know about this?” he scoffed. The dreaded time finally came, the time of confession. I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat tightened up, and my tongue swelled. Regret had tangled me in its inescapable ropes that no noble reasoning would have freed me from my part in this decision.

“Spencer,” Hotch attempted to contend, but Spencer refused to listen.

How was he going to take the news? How could his best friend and his girlfriend lie to him like this?

“Spence,” JJ sighed, “This operation had to be covert for Emily’s sake--and Declan.” By now, everyone’s attention was on me and JJ. I almost couldn’t handle the distraught expression on Morgan’s face as I wasn’t only Spencer’s girlfriend, but his close friend.

How could I have done this? I’ve not only hurt Spencer, but I’ve also hurt the team--my family.

JJ stepped in front of me, brushing a calming hand on my arm. She gave me a reassuring glance, nodding at me to step forward alongside her.

I couldn’t do this.

My stomach curled, and my hands began accumulating sweat.

I can’t.

JJ took a breath, peering at Spencer with regretful eyes. She knew how to get through to him--sometimes better than me. JJ was the shoulder that Spencer could comfortably fall apart on besides me, and I didn’t have the heart to take that away from him. That’s how I knew I had to venture through this alone.

JJ hesitantly opened her mouth to speak, dropping her shoulders in vulnerability, but before the truth can slip past her lips, I interjected. “Wait! um,” I paused, processing the next words that would determine where I stood with Spencer, “I...I was the one that knew,” I muttered through my teeth, knowing that every syllable was a lie. I stepped in front of JJ; averting the attention away from her. “JJ had nothing to do with it. I informed her minutes prior to the meeting.”

Spencer became despondent. His once ardent expression slumped into one that resembled a Tim Burton character, although it was the dejected glare in his eyes that crushed me. Nothing else registered in my head; I knew that I forever scorned him.

With the silence suffocating the room, Hotch called the meeting to end. Everyone wearily stood up from where they were, Garcia instantly leaping onto Emily with numerous inquiries. Spencer didn’t even bother looking back, instead, he paced out of the room, giving Emily a long-awaited hug, and left.

As Emily became occupied with the rest of the team, JJ tugged at the end of my sleeve, pulling aside. “Why...why did you do that?” she questioned, her expression deep in perplexity. “I thought we were supposed to tell him together,” she shook her head, sighing at the sudden deviation from our plan.

“I just,” I took in a breath, “JJ, you know Spencer, and...you know how he gets,” I rationalized. An aching sensation spread across my chest as I recollected the events before, a film casting over my eyes as I justified my decision. “JJ, all I could think about in that meeting was how Spencer would feel afterward,” I croaked, “You and I know he’s already been through too much. I just couldn’t,” I repressed a choked breath. “You and I are the only people he’s okay about being open to, so I couldn’t let him deal with this alone,” I smiled pitifully, a single tear trailing down my cheek, reaching my lips.

“Y/N…” JJ consoled, pulling me into her embrace. I knew that she wanted to say something back--something to combat my reason. But deep down, she understood. I pulled away from her arms, gathering my composure.

“I don’t know where we stand right now,” I bit my lip, shaking my head in sorrow, “JJ, just...just be there for him. Be there for him because I love him.”

-

An agonizing week had passed in the BAU. Emily was reinstated after the team’s hearing at court, the unit dynamic languidly surfaced again, and it seemed like everything was back to normal.

Everything but Spencer.

It’s been eight days and seven nights since he’s slept at our apartment. JJ was generous enough to let him crash with her and Will, which I was appreciative to know that he was at least safe. JJ would give me updates during his stay, reassuring me to have faith and be patient with him. But each night that I spent in a distant bed, every dinner I sat through with an empty bowl opposite from me, and every eerie silence that would suffocate me when arriving home thinned out my perseverance.

Every time that I would reminisce on the warmth of his touch, it tore the remaining strands of my heart. The snarky remarks and malicious glares at work didn’t ease my state of mind either. I was on a cliff again, but this time I was alone.

We were on the jet, working a missing child’s case in New York City. Most of the team surrounded Hotch as he briefed them on the case while I notably sat at the front to evade the disagreeable tension. From time to time, JJ would text me, asking if I were okay. I found the gesture sweet the first few times, but it soon became a remembrance of my reality.

“I need everyone to split into teams,” Hotch announced, making sure that I had heard his statement. “The M.E. will be ready in a few hours, so Dave and Morgan, I need you to go to the morgue. Emily and JJ, I need you to interview a suspect back at the station. Y/N and Spencer, I need both of you to interview the second victim’s family,” Hotch delivered resolutely. However before he could finish, Spencer already had his disputes.

“Hotch, don’t you think I would be more useful in building the geographic profile?” Spencer interjected.

“Reid, I can’t send Y/N alone,” Hotch reinforced.

“Well it seems to me that she’s capable of making big enough decisions, so I think she’ll be fine,” Spencer jeered. “Matter of fact, why don’t we let her interview the suspect instead, since she’s so good at-”

“Reid,” Hotch warned him, sending him a disarming look.

Spencer scoffed, sinking back into his seat, pulling his book up to his face. JJ sent me another text, expressing her condolences about Spencer’s performance, while I sulked in the coldness of my arms.

That’s all Spencer did that week. He pulled away.

-

One. Two. Three rocks surpassed my pacing feet on the sidewalk.

It was the only thing I could force myself to focus on, considering the asphyxiating rigidness between me and Spencer. I was quiet as a mouse with every inhale I took, feeling that even the slightest disturbance would rattle the seemingly innocuous silence. However, despite the invisible barrier between us, Spencer began uttering details about the unsub’s profile.

“I’m thinking that our unsub might be a woman,” Spencer proposed, looking straight ahead of him.

In an attempt to alleviate the atmosphere, I entertained his suspects, “Why do you think so,” I inquired. My breath hitched towards the end of the sentence, sending a small jolt of nerves through my chest.

“Well,” Spencer began, “We can see from the unsub’s methodology that they still nurture the victim--a mother’s instinct--before death. The choice of disposal also indicates cleanliness which we profiled before as a women’s attribute.”

Four. Five. Six rocks.

“That’s true, Spence, but the level of cleanliness doesn’t match the M.O, and the profile points towards a male offender. If it were a female, then that would be one hell of a job to throw off the authorities,” I counteracted, feeling safer in the exchange we shared.

“It could be possible,” Spencer shrugged. “Statistically, women are presumptively better liars than men. They do one hell of a job being deceitful,” He quipped.

Seven. Eig-

My movements stilled at the unforeseen comment, while the same pang in my chest reappeared from before. Despite the wave of self-reproach invading my thoughts, I swallowed my feelings and maintained my professionalism.

“How far is the house from here?” I deadpanned, evading the touchy subject.

“Why don’t you check the coordinates that Hotch sent us. You seem to have a closer relationship to hi-”

“Can you stop?” I exclaimed, stepping out in front of him.  

“Stop what?” He scoffed, refusing to acknowledge my irritation by feigning innocence. He proceeded to project his attention towards the side garden that decorated the sidewalk, observing the various flowers that littered the grounds.  

“This,” I gestured to both of us. “This, this thing that you’re doing. Wh-what are we doing, Spence?”

“You’re acting like you’re not at fault here,” Spencer implicated with a nonchalant shrug. “It’s similar to this unsub’s psyche.”

“That’s not what I meant, Spence.”

“The unsub also didn’t mean to kill the first child so you might have that probability.” He paced off a distance away, leaving me at my lonesome.

“Spencer, can we talk-”

“What if the unsub used a lure to get to the first victim,” Spencer eluded the topic. “Possibly candy or a tactic using the transference of parental authority. Either one would disarm the child.”

I shook my head, playing his little game. “Candy is quite the killer,” I added on, supplementing his theory.

“So are tears,” He quipped. “Hopefully the family can tell us more.”

With that, he ran off once again.

-

In a matter of a week, the unsub had struck again. Unfortunately for the team, our leads had been disproven, and our patience had worn thin. Chagrin had traveled throughout the team rendering us all exhausted. With the additional stress on our shoulders, Spencer’s remarks had intensified and painted a target on my back. Solving this case was the only motivation I had to endure the onslaught of his petty slander; however, my persistence was at the end of its line.

“Spencer, can you pass me a copy of the geographical profile?” I mumbled, running my fingers over my eyelids to wake myself up. I leaned on my elbows, feeling the heat of stress warm up my face. I glanced at Spencer’s movements from my peripheral vision, although my sight proved to be unreliable as Spencer’s face resembled an expression of--what I thought was--worry for a split moment.

Without a reply, Spencer handed me a marker. I looked at Spencer bewildered, glancing between him and the marker that lay in my hand. “What is this?” I deadpanned.

“A marker.”

I bit the inside of my cheek in restraint, retracting my tongue from spitting maliciously. “Yes, I know, Spencer. What is the marker for?” I fumed through my teeth.

“To write with,” Spencer replied shortly, focusing on the file he was analyzing on his lap. I shook my head, rising from my seat to walk over to the whiteboard that Spencer assembled the geographical profile on. I tossed the marker behind me, ridding myself of the negative energy bestowed on the writing utensil.

Before I could set my focus on the board, Spencer pulled me from my concentration with another one of his random probes. “Why aren’t you using the marker?”

“What do you mean?” I sighed, sensing ridicule.

“You’re modifying the profile at one of the points right?”

He looked up from his files, making eye contact with me for the first time in weeks. By reflex, I shifted my gaze away from him, guilt making itself ubiquitous in my conscience. “I’m analyzing one of the points of the profile,” I uttered. “I think our initial impression about the unsub’s disposal area is inexact.

“Is that how you and Hotch figured out Emily’s burial site?”

An ember began swirling inside of my veins, traveling to each corner of my body. I bit my tongue once again, suppressing the build-up of indignation coursing through me. “The location of disposal doesn’t make sense. It’s not even in the area that we triangulated,” I challenged.

“What are you saying?”

“I mean, could it be possible for the unsub to transport the victims to different disposal sites?”

“Like how Emily was transferred from Boston to Bethesda?” Spencer mentioned. “Then yes, the probability of that transpiring is notable” he mocked.

The suppressed spark inside of me aggregated, overpowering the last bit of patience I harbored. The ropes tethering the frayed strands of my rationality snapped, leaving my impulses to burst through the seams. Even my best attempts at subduing myself rendered useless to Spencer’s incessant commentaries. I was done.

“You’re relentless aren’t you?” I jeered, spinning around to face him. Fire laced my veins, and the childish sneer on his face only kindled my resentment.

“Relentless on figuring out this case.” Spencer brushed my comment aside, diverting his attention to the papers on his lap.

In the momentum of my impulsivity, I seized the files away from him, forcing him to acknowledge the issue at hand. “Spencer, you can’t keep pretending like everything is fine,” I threw up my hands in the air in exasperation, catching a few lingering eyes of the team.

“I don’t have to deal with this right now,” Spencer professed, rising from his seat to walk away. But before he had the opportunity to reach the exit, I grabbed onto his wrist, halting him.

“Then, when?” I taunted. “When are you going to deal with this?”

By now, we had attracted an audience.

“Certainly not with you,” he snickered mockingly.

“Reid!” I snapped, my voice rising in volume and fierceness. “You can’t keep running away from your problems.”

“Are you serious right now, Y/N?” he vocalized incredulously, glaring at me with bitter hostility. “You’re just bothered that you did something that hurt me--th-that hurt all of us, and I sought comfort in someone I could trust.”

“I don’t care that you went to JJ fo-”

“God Y/N! Yo-you didn’t even have the decency to tell me--YOUR boyfriend--that this happened.”

“Reid, that’s not fai-”

“Oh really? That’s not fair?” Spencer seethed, disdain bound to his words. “You know what’s not fair Y/N? I spent nights--NIGHTS--crying on JJ’s couch from the loss of a friend, only to find out that they’re alive,” he gestured to Emily sitting idly by the team, watching the scene between me and Spencer unfold. “What I especially loved was coming back to the same couch because of my own girlfriend’s deception.”

At this point, JJ attempted to step forward to intervene, but I waved her off. “I. Had. No. Choice,” I defended, practically speaking through clenched teeth.

“You know what?” Spencer scoffed, shaking his head. “Gosh, JJ has put in more effort into being my girlfriend than you ever did.”

I was suspended in place as the words rang out in my head. A shiver crept up my arms and sent harrowing shockwaves that pierced my chest. Simultaneously, a stinging sensation engulfed my esophagus in flames, stunting my ability to form sentences. “Spencer, you...you don’t m-mean that,” I swallowed my voice, mumbling a question rather than a firm statement.

I felt myself on the cliff again, but this time the rocks were slowly crumbling underneath my feet while burning tar glued my feet to the ground.

“You practically pushed me into her arms. When you were out there lying to ALL of us, she was the only one that stayed with me.”

“Spence…” JJ called out from behind me, attempting to diffuse the situation. Although, Spencer was far deluded by his discourse that nothing obstructed him.

“No, it’s okay,” Spencer assured, inching closer to me. With a repugnant sneer on his lips, his eyes squinted into a loathing glare, and his countenance aflame, he gave me what I couldn’t give to him: his truth.

A truth that I didn’t want to unfurl.  

“You know I don’t even know why you’re constantly reminding me that I can’t accept my mistakes or problems...” he bickered, a deliberate sneer etched into his features, “...because it was pretty damn easy to accept that YOU are my biggest mistake.”

-

I thought the rocks would crumble from beneath me, and I’d fall. I thought choosing to stand on that cliff alone, to bear the weight for someone I loved, was noble, even if it meant ending up in the abyss below.

But I didn’t fall. I was pushed.

Pushed by the very person I stood on that cliff for.

-

part 2 

taglist: @rexorangecouny​ @howdycharlie​ @honeymilk-4​ @linthebinbag​ @andreasworlsboring101​

[gumilac]

"Fuck..."

You mumble underneath your breath, and you're so close from pulling all your hair out. You can't even cry, that's how bad the situation is. Everything is so overwhelming that you just want to break down but you can't, no matter how hard you try━ You've been staring at your laptop since 9:00 am, it's now 1pm. And, you've heard nothing else from the teachers but the new tasks that are due next week. You're not even finished yet with the assessments given to you last week since you've been taking a lot of breaks for your mental health. And, well? If it isn't the consequences of your own actions.

You're now loaded with assessments.

Rubbing your face with your palm, making the anti-radiation glasses you wore slide up, you sigh deeply━ thank god, this teacher doesn't require your cameras on━ before moving your hand to rest on your palm. Your classes are done after this subject, and you made a decision that'll you be working on the tasks until bedtime. Your stomach grumbles but you ignored it for the next few minutes 'til the professor dismisses you. She finally ends the class, albeit she did go into overtime for 10 mins, and you finally leave the platform. Removing the glasses, you lean your head back closing your eyes. You stayed that way for a few minutes before straightening your posture and wearing your glasses again.

Time to work.

You took a big stretch before you started working on the laptop again. A few hours pass by and you barely got anything done. You curse yourself for being so stupid to waste precious time like this and now you're suffering because of the choices you made. You wanted to scream, cry but nothing comes out as you stare at the unstarted document that's open, the text cursor just blinking at you, as if it's mocking you that you haven't even written anything down yet. You finished one task, but that alone took you almost 3 hours and you're exhausted now. Your brain is too drained to even think of coherent thoughts. Sighing, you were about to bang your head on the table when a hand slips in between the work surface and your forehead, stopping the harsh impact you were supposed to inflict on yourself. Confused, you slowly lift your head up and you see Fushiguro crouching beside you and he places a hand on your thigh, a soft but concerned expression on his face.

"Hey," he greets softly and you smile upon seeing his face. Your chest feeling a lot lighter.

"What're you doing here?"

"You weren't replying to my messages so I kinda got worried."

Messages? You didn't reciev━ Reaching to grab your phone, the screen lights up and it shows 15 messages from Megumi. You look back at him apologetically, brows furrowed and a small frown on your face.

"M'sorry, Megs."

You mumble quietly, hands moving up to rub your temples. Frustration bubbles up inside you, along with guilt because you were so caught up in your stress, you forgot to tell Megumi and now he's here worrying about you when he should be resting instead. You don't know when hot tears started to roll down your cheeks, but Megumi immediately cups your face to wipe them away.

"Hey, hey. It's okay," he softly assures you. "I'm not mad."

"M'sorry, Megs. I really am."

"Shh, it's alright. C'mere."

He sits on the floor and you joined him, slotting yourself in between his legs. He wraps his arms around you in a comforting embrace, as he presses the side of your body to his chest securely and you bring your hands up to wipe your face. He gently rubs soothing circles on your back, kissing your forehead and letting his lips stay there. He shushes you and assures your heart, whispering it's okay and I'm here.

"It's alright, sweetheart. Take your time, okay? I'm right here."

Thank god Megumi isn't pressuring you to speak up immediately, unlike your parents who would require an explanation the moment they see you crying. They never held you the way Megumi did, when that was all you ever wanted━ You calm down and inhaled deeply to catch your breath. Megumi wipes away your tears with the cuff of his sweater before cupping your face to caress your cheeks with his thumb.

"I'm sorry," you finally start and he encourages you to continue. "I'm just bombarded with the tasks my professors give me." He lets go of your cheeks, handing the hand for you to hold and you subconsciously grab it.

"Everything's just so overwhelming and I got caught up in the pressure that I forgot to pull myself away from it." You fiddled with his hand and Fushiguro lets you, it's a habit he grew to love. Whenever you talked about how you were feeling, when you're stressed, or when you felt uncomfortable in certain situations you would always reach out to grab his hand, and he lets you because he loves you. He isn't big with romantic gestures, but he never fails to make you feel loved, even if his actions are small.

Because he believes that love shouldn't always be flashy.

Love for him is putting socks on your feet when the room gets too cold for you, making you tea just the way you like it, and poking your cheeks just because. It's waking up earlier than you just to admire you in the morning glow, it's the subtle but lingering glances he gives you when you're in the same room, and it's charging your phone when you forget to plug it in. Love is the silliest and smallest of things, but what makes it grand is when he never takes credit for it.

Love is just being there for the person you call home.

"I didn't mean to ignore your messages," you sniffed and Megumi shakes his head, mumbling a soft it's okay. It falls quiet, only the soft sniffs coming from you heard. You can hear the steady thumping of Megumi's heart and it soothes all your worries. He's warm, oh so warm, and comforting that you could say this way in his arms forever.

"I'm sor-," you break the silence and he kisses your forehead. "This is the only time I'll cut you off, okay? You don't have to apologize." You were about to speak when Megumi beat you to it.

"I don't want to hear any 'buts'," he states firmly before continuing, "And, I know you. You'll still beat yourself about it even though I tell you not to, but please don't. I'm not mad and you did nothing wrong, got that?"

You knew better than to argue with Megumi so you just left it at that, nodding your head. He kisses the top of your head, before letting his chin rest on top of it, hooking you under him.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" he asks tenderly.

"No," you mumble quietly and Megumi hums. He gently turns your around to face him, cupping your face with his hands. There's a small smile on his pretty lips as he looks at you with his navy eyes, sincerity written all over his face.

"Hey, pretty thing," he says and for the first time that night, you smile. "I know how many assessments you have, and I've seen you working so hard that you forget to even eat."

He's right, you haven't eaten lunch today and you're only running on the sandwich you made for breakfast, but it seems that it has digested now.

"Say, I brought your favorite food. Why don't we eat first and then we can get back to work?"

"We?" you ask a little confused. He laughs softly and it makes your heart flutter upon hearing his voice.

"I'll help you, sweetheart. It's the least I can do to lighten your load."

You didn't feel like you deserved to be helped, since you barely did anything that's worthy of Megumi's assistance━ He senses your worries and eases yours right away.

"You deserve it, okay? You've been working yourself to the bone." You furrow your brows and he frowns a little. "Please, share your burdens with me. You don't deserve to carry this all alone. Let me be here for you, the same way how you were always there for me."

You look into his eyes before mumbling a small okay, he smiles softly before resting his forehead on yours.

"I know it mustn't have been easy, and you may not feel like it. But, you're doing a really good job."

He kisses your lips gently and you sigh contently against his touch. When he pulls away, there's a saccharine smile on his face as his navy eyes bore into yours with a love so tender it makes you melt. He whispers the five words you always wanted to hear, the stars outside your room and the papers scattered on your desk being the only witnesses. His words sweet like honey, honest, and true break down the dam in you once more.

"I'm so proud of you."

© akithesimp. please do not plagiarize, claim, modify, or repost as your own│reblogs will help a lot, and it'll be much appreciated ღ