#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy

[sublimecatgalaxy]

heyy didnt know if you were down for requests but i js though elliot or dom teaching you how to play the guitar would be rlly cute and shit 😭

(also i love ur fics sm like pls marry me)

Okay well this is literally the cutest request ever!

Also you're the cutest, I accept your proposal! Thank you so much for the love and support, I adore you- reach out any time bestie <3

"You should take a break from school, ya know, give your boyfriend some attention while he's here in your vicinity." Elliot whines from the bed, sprawling out across the comforter as he groans, rubbing his tired eyes as I look over at the clock, not expecting it to be well after midnight. Guilt suddenly swarms around me, realizing he's been sitting here for hours, waiting for me to give him attention while I completely and utterly focus on school.

"Finals are coming up soon and I am completely and utterly unprepared." I trail off, the pit in my stomach only growing as I think of my upcoming tests in three different classes, knowing that I'm totally unprepared for all of them combined.

It's been a rough year, don't judge me.

"Well who's fault is that, you decided to wait until the last minute to even start-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I point a finger at him and he laughs, his bright smile making me feel a little bit better as I swing around in my chair, looking back and forth between him and the flashcards in front of me.

"Well, if you wanna take a break and come over here, I promise to help you with your flashcards." I ponder his offer for a minute, not expecting him to offer his help, especially when he hates everything that has to do with school, especially all the science classes that I'm in.

"Really?" I bite at my lip and give him a look, a look that he can tell that I feel bad that he would have to help me but I could never decline the help, especially given how desperate I am.

"Really." He nods firmly and I pause, smiling softly at him as I pull my hair down from it's bun, itching at my scalp with a groan.

"Okay." I launch myself out of my chair, flopping onto the bed beside him as he immediately wraps me in his arms, tightly squeezing me as I let out a brief sigh of relief, not realizing how much I missed his arms around me. It feels like I've been gone a century. "Only like twenty minutes and then I have to get back to studying or else I'm seriously going to fail this exam."

"Sounds good." He sighs, sitting up on the bed as he reaches down beside the bed to grab his guitar, strumming quietly as I settle down beside him, watching him with a fond, loving look.

"How did you learn that?" I ask simply, pulling his gaze away from the instrument but he continues to play, shocking me even more.

"The guitar?" I nod. "It's muscle memory. I can teach you."

"I'll probably be ass at it. I'm not the most musically inclined." I laugh and his eyes widen with a knowing glance and I reach out to smack his arm with a loud, offended laugh.

"Trust me, I know- I hear you singing in the shower." Elliot teases and I gasp, sitting up and giving him the most incredulous look, shocked that he hears me and noting to myself to be quieter with my concerts.

"Rude." I mumble.

"It's a good thing you're cute." He presses his finger to the tip of my nose and it scrunches under his touch, my head tilting playfully at him. "Here, you can strum and I'll show you the fingering of it."

"Fingering." I snort and his jaw drops at my innuendo, pinching my side.

"Shut up." He continues to move his fingers around the strings as I strum softly, my gaze stuck on the way his fingers move without the need for him to even watch what he's doing. "See it's not that bad?"

"Don't your fingers get tired?" I ask, feeling the tips of my fingers burn as if there's carpet burn on the tips of each of them and he gives me a shrug, taking my fingers in his grasp to press a kiss to each individual finger.

"Never, I have fingers of steel."

"Trust me, I know." I mock him and his head tips back in laughter, red dusting his cheeks at my taunting.

"Shut up."

[godlygreta]

god is fair | j. t. kiszka

title | god is fair

word count | 7.7k

warnings | swearing, mentions of alcohol - nothing too terrible... yet ;)

author's note | i've had this in the chamber for some time now, i just lost the inspo to write, which is why i haven't in a long time. this isn't a promise that i'll post more fics as they come to me, seeing as i'm a senior in college who has a fuck ton of other things to do. there will be a part 2 to this fic, but i couldn't tell you when it's coming :)

also, very much so listening to god is fair, sexy nasty by mac miller while writing this & starting the next part, so take that as you will ;)

unedited as hell so pls excuse any mistakes !

You always had this rivalry since the beginning of freshman year. This guy, Jake, would never show up to any of the classes the two of you had together, but always got the highest grades on every single goddamn exam that your Intro to Bio professor gave out. It infuriated you.

You figured that in the spring semester, you would be freed from the disappearing boy, but you weren’t. While the teacher called roll, everyone shouted out here. She landed upon his name, calling out to the class and looking through the rows of students. He had been there for orientation, sitting in one of the middle rows, slouched in his seat.

You planned to confront him the next day you had class together, on Wednesday, but Jake was nowhere to be found. Your roommate and your friends had heard your exhaustive theories as to why he was never in class. “Babe, you sound insane. Just let it go.”

But you couldn’t.

Competition lived deep within your roots, having an entire competition with the second top student in your graduating class in high school. Though the rage held between each other was never taken far outside of the academic realm, the two of you never thought to be friends and encourage one another. Thankfully, the two of you resolved the competition when the two of you realized you would be going into two very separate fields of study in college. 

Camren, who knew she was going to be a chemist from the time she first learned about chemistry, had told you she loved the competition – made it fun and kept things interesting. And there you were, going to school for Pre-Med with the same feeling. The two of you kept in contact, updating each other on the strive for greatness in college as well.

You kept a close relationship with a lot of your teachers, making sure to get on their good side before classes had really begun. You emailed most of them, especially your Anatomy and Physiology professor, Dr. Sahnya Heinz.

She was incredibly skilled in her field, leaving the active medical field to teach the new and future minds of medicine. It was a cliche line she delivered on the first day, but it encouraged that familiar competitive fire that dwelled within you.

You don’t quite remember how you came to figure out that Jake was ahead of you, but you had found out somehow from your professor, although it was an accident.

It made everything in you burn with anger and frustration. Anytime someone mentioned him, or mentioned the fact that you were second, you clenched your jaw and your teeth gritted together. Your friends had an inside joke that you were only mad because you had a huge crush on him.

“I barely even know what he looks like, Mel! I fucking hate the guy. Don’t start shit.” You’d plead, beer can in your hand in the lounge of some fraternity floor.

Over the next few semesters, you kept trying your hardest, spending most of your free time in the library, reading everything that you could to prepare for every exam. You wrote papers early, having them done at least three weeks in advance. As soon as you would be told about a new one, you’d immediately start finding sources.

You sauntered around campus, thinking that you would be way ahead of him. He still never showed up to any classes, aside from orientation and exam periods. You’d stare at him for a few moments while the teacher passed out the exam, looking over his face as much as you could.

His long hair would obscure your vision on occasion, making it hard to catch any of his features at all. From what you could see though, he had nice, full lips. His nose was something you could have stared at the entire exam period.

You watched him as he licked his lips, whispering a thank you to Heinz before grabbing his pencil from his desk and getting to work. You looked away from him as soon as Heinz put your exam on your desk, offering her a small smile and a quick thank you before getting to work.

It was almost spring break, meaning some of your assignments had been slowing, some of them had been increasing. A group of your friends from different majors told you about one of the lounge parties a fraternity on campus was throwing. “Sigma Tau has the worst lounge parties, Tamia. You know this.”

“They’re joining forces with the Delta’s though, so it’ll be better than normal! You have to come, you’ve always got your nose in a book. You haven’t drank with us in so long, I forget what you’re like when you’re drunk.”

“I don’t know… I need to work on this Midterm paper I have in Kainz’s class, it’s due next week.”

“Babe, it’s been done for weeks! You just keep editing it trying to find mistakes and there are none! I’ve literally read it five times. Please, go out with us, just tonight?”

You looked between Tamia and Mel, knowing in the end you would give into them anyways. “Ugh, fine! Tonight, and tonight only, just this once. If I don’t like it, though, I’m leaving and going to bed early.”

“You’ll have so much fun, I swear!” Mel and Tamia looked between each other, sharing expressions of excitement and happiness on their faces. You rolled your eyes, standing up from your chair.

You let them raid your closet, trying to throw something together quickly. Most of the time, Tamia and Mel never obeyed the dress code for the lounge parties, hating the idea of giving into the male gaze of the fraternity brothers. Tonight, however, was a bit different. The theme was Western, meaning it was cowboy hats and very tiny shorts.

You looked over the outfit that laid out in front of you, straw cowboy hat that Tamia had bought from Amazon (one for each of you), a pair of short shorts that may or may not show your ass a bit, and a red bandana top that Mel let you borrow last semester that you forgot to return. “I don’t know about this. I don’t even have the right shoes.”

“You forget we wear the same size, bitch, you’re going. No backing out.” They joked, tossing you a pair of white boots. “Just put that shit on while we heat up the curling iron, okay?”

“Fine, fine, okay.” You peel off your shirt, throwing on the one they picked out. Next to go were your pajama pants, which were replaced by the shorts. You kept the same socks on, knowing that nobody would see them anyways with the boots going up to the middle of your calf muscle. “I look fucking ridiculous.”

“You look fucking hot, now sit down while we do your hair and makeup,” Mel spoke, pulling out your desk chair while Tamia smiled wickedly with the curling wand in hand. You were nervous, looking at the both of them, but the good kind that settled under your skin and was left hidden behind the smallest smile.

You talked about upcoming exams with them while they did your hair and makeup, much to their dismay. They attempted to fill you in on the various drama situations going on around campus while you had been heavily plugged into your textbooks. You gasped often, finding shock and awe in some of the things they had been telling you about classmates.

They spoke about Jake, letting it slip that he had been planning on attending the party, joined at the hip with one of the girls he had been rumored to have been dating. One of the many. “Ugh, he just sounds like a douche. Gives me even more reason to hate him.”

“We’re not feeding into your delusion that he’s some douchebag. Dropping it.” Tamia spoke, putting her hands up in a surrender. Mel laughed, pulling away from you with an eyeliner pen in hand. “Maybe we’ll get you drunk enough to admit you like him.”

“I don’t like him, and I thought we were dropping the topic.” You looked at Tamia in the mirror, watching her face deadpan as she looked back at you.

“I have something hot in my hands, don’t be rude to me.” The three of you laughed, getting back into the rhythm of getting ready. You let them do their thing to you, curling the last bit of your hair and putting the finishing touches of highlighter on your brow bone.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, marveling at the job they did. You thanked them for getting you all dolled up, watching them change into their outfits. It was mostly just them taking off the sweats they were wearing, throwing them over the back of your desk chair. You took a few pictures with them in your mirror before finally deciding to head out.

The party had started a half an hour ago, walking into the party late like most people did. The three of you got in easily with matching the dress code, immediately looking for the drinks table. The boys in charge handed the three of you a free shot of anything you wanted. Mel chose for you, starting the night out roughly with a shot of Svedka.

You grabbed a Sprite from one of the boys in one hand, the shot of Svedka in the other. The three of you tapped your glasses together before downing the shot. The alcohol burned as it slipped down your throat, trying to soothe it with the taste and coolness of the Sprite. You shook a bit, throwing the cup away in a nearby trash can.

“That was fucking gross, I hate you so much for choosing Svedka.”

“I could’ve chosen something even more nasty, like Jack.” Mel laughed, leading the three of you over to a section in the lounge where you could stand a decent enough distance away from one another, instead of being piled on top of one another.

“I would have rather taken a shot of Jack, Mel.” You spoke, sipping more of your Sprite. Tamia pointed out a few of the people they had talked about earlier, letting you put names to faces.

In the midst, two of the Sigma brothers decided to start a dance battle, capturing the attention of those around them. Everyone joined in, gathering around the two guys. Mel and Tamia joined too, but you had slipped out of their grasp by telling them you had to use the bathroom.

You were happy to escape the party, sneaking out with a bottle of Smirnoff the boys had left unattended. You walked outside, taking a deep breath in. You were thankful to be met with the smell of fresh air, not smelling sweat and booze everywhere. Your peace and tranquility was ruined by someone’s voice, “Well, don’t you look adorable.”

Your head snapped towards the voice, seeing Jake sitting up against the bike rack with a cigarette between his fingers. “Shut up.”

“What? I can’t compliment you?”

“No,” you started, crossing your arms with the bottle still in your hand. “No, you can’t.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I hate you.” Jake looked at you, up and down, taking a drag of his cigarette. You screwed off the cap of the bottle, taking a pull. You tried your hardest to not make a face, looking away slightly when the familiar sting settled in your throat.

“Why do you hate me? I’ve never spoken to you before.”

“Do I have to have a reason?” You asked, walking closer to him.

“Suppose not. But if I knew why you hated me,” he tossed his cigarette butt on the ground, stomping on it with his boot. “Then maybe I could find a way to make you not hate me.”

“Unless you flunk your next exam, I guarantee that won’t happen.”

“Oh, I get it.” He chuckled, standing up from the bike rack he was leaning against. He grabbed his cigarette butt up from the ground, tossing it into the nearest garbage can. He turned towards you, staring at you with his brown eyes. “You’re just mad because I’m smarter than you.”

“You’re never in class. You shouldn’t be ahead of me.” You glared at him, lips moving into a frown.

“Just because I’m never there doesn’t mean I’m not getting the information. I work five, sometimes six days a week. We only have class three days a week. Typically, I gotta work those days. Heinz sends me the powerpoints and the assignment notes so I never miss anything.”

“Oh yeah? Where do you even work then?” You asked.

He chuckled, fingers brushing yours that were wrapped around the bottle. “Now if I told you that, it would ruin all the fun,” he looked you up and down once more, licking his lips slightly. “Well, maybe I’ll see you and your bottle inside.” 

You waited til the doors closed behind him to roll your eyes, and huff outwardly. You took the bottle of Smirnoff, turned on your heels and walked towards your dorm hall. You hated Jake. You really hated Jake.

—

Your midterms came and went. The stress decreased slightly, but only to be raised again as the end of the semester loomed around. Assignments started piling up, various papers and presentations due all around the same week. Since the end of Spring Break, you had been holed up in your room, left to your mountains of homework.

Your Microbio class had a presentation due that coincided with the research project you had been working on all semester long. Human Anatomy and Physiology (or affectionately known as BIO 312) had a major cumulative exam on the entire semester, which stressed you out more than any other homework assignment or exam you had.

Thankfully, your school held an all day event that attempted to boost the morale of the students on campus. Filled with a bunch of free things, you took advantage of everything offered.

Lined up on tables were various student organizations set up, with their own little games and prizes. A few of them had speakers that played the music they wanted to listen to, all speakers attempting to outman the other. However, the one that ended up winning was a tie dye station located in the lawn, handing out free t-shirts to dye.

One of the guys at the tie dye station had a wide smile on his face while his hands were dripping with dye. Setting your prizes down at a table where Tamia and Mel had put their things, you walked over to him. He welcomed you over with a smile, “Hey! Lookin’ to tie dye?”

“Yeah, I’m a medium.” You smiled at him, blocking the sun with your hand. He called over to Benny, asking him to pull a medium out for you. Benny handed you the shirt with a smile. “I’ve never dyed anything before.”

“Never?! That’s a crime against mankind, darlin’, let’s get this shirt dyed.” He spoke, talking you over the colors in each of the buckets. He explained to you some basic color theory, although you had remembered that from your high school painting class, you didn’t stop him; he was pretty when he spoke.

The curls on his head stuck out from the shaved sides, the gold of his earrings stood out underneath the blistering April sun. He licked his lips often, using the back of his hand to wipe sweat from his forehead. He helped you pick out the style you wanted, making sure the rubber bands were placed exactly where you wanted them. “I’ll dip them in the bucket for you so you don’t get your hands dirty.”

“Thank you. I could’ve managed on my own, but I definitely appreciate it.”

“Of course. What’s your name?” You offer up to him, before he lets out a chuckle. You question him with a pull of your eyebrows. “Jake talks about you.”

“You know Jake?”

“Yeah, he’s my twin.” As soon as the word left his mouth, you could see the resemblance; you almost scolded yourself for not realizing it sooner. They were similar, especially in their features and their eyes, although the two of them had very distinct color differences. Josh, as he told you after dropping the bomb on you, had warmer eyes, filled with caramel colored hues of brown in relation to Jake’s colder tones; his eyes were a darker shade of brown, with the occasional gleam of flirtation laced within the reflection.

He spoke quite differently from Jake, mostly just with the sound of his voice. It matched their eyes, their personalities. Josh’s bright, bubbly stature followed in his voice, almost theatrical as he spoke. “I guess that makes sense, you two do kind of look alike. Minus the hair, of course.”

“Well, of course. Mine’s better,” you liked that about him - how kind his tone was. You attempted to grill him about what Jake was saying about you, curiosity flowing violently through your bloodstream as if it lit your body on fire. “He just says that you’re second in the Bio class you have with him, and that it makes you mad.”

“It does, Jake’s never there. I’ve seen him three times, and two of those times were for exams.” Josh wrung out the part that had been soaking in the dye for a bit, watching the water fall back into the bucket.

“Yeah, it’s cause he’s working all the time, if I’m honest. Jake stays home during the week to work at the nursing home in our hometown. We don’t really have a large CNA population, most of the people who work there are highschool kids, so Jake’s really been their guy. Especially since high school, as soon as he graduated he moved to full time. All the old ladies love him.” He snorts, dipping your shirt into the blue dye.

“I didn’t know that.” You thought he was lying about where he was, which is why guilt started to eat away at you. You felt terrible for making assumptions, but you couldn’t take any of that back now.

“Jake doesn’t talk to a lot of people, but we love him anyway.” You chewed at your bottom lip, rethinking your opinion of Jake. “You goin’ to the concert later tonight?”

“Hadn’t decided. Mel and Tamia want to, so I’ll probably end up going. Are you?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll probably go.”

“Do you know who’s playing?”

“Some local band I think? I’ve heard a lot of the girls think the frontman’s pretty handsome.” He spoke with a smirk. You promised him you’d go, just to see if the girls had been right. He handed you your t-shirt to hold while he grabbed you a plastic bag. He also handed you a piece of paper with instructions on how to take care of your new tie dye.

“Make sure when you wash it, you wash it by itself. Otherwise, you’ll dye all of your other clothes and believe me, you don’t want that,” he chuckled, as if he was speaking from experience.

You thanked him with a warm smile, waving to him before returning to your room. As soon as you got back, you opened your window, allowing the air flow to travel inside. It kept you cool, allowing you to walk around comfortably with a t-shirt and shorts on. You put your plastic bag in the closet of your room, writing on your white board to remember to take it out and wash it tomorrow.

You texted Mel and Tamia, knowing that Mel would probably have some smart comeback about why you want to go to the concert. It wasn’t that you didn’t join them on nights out, you just had a lot riding on your academic success. Not only because you were the first one in your family to go to college, but also because of your mass of scholarships that only continued to flow if your GPA was at a suitable level. Anything below a 3.2, and you would lose almost all of them.

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Are we going to the concert tonight?

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Mel

Are you offering to come with us without us needing to beg and plead for you to join?

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Don’t make me take it back, Mel

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Tamia

We’re absolutely going. Come to mine whenever you want to get ready :)

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

The doors open at 8 right? I’ll be over about 5:30-6ish. Gotta finish up this paper for Heinz real quick

You locked your phone before they could scold you for doing homework on a day that was designated for relaxation and recuperation. You pulled out your Anat and Physio binder, pulling out the sources you printed off in the library. You ran through the last one with a blue highlighter between your teeth. 

You set an alarm on your phone for five o’clock, saving enough time for you to shower.  You were about halfway through the last page when your timer went off. You silenced it, attempting to hurriedly finish highlighting the page. The article was placed onto your desk, highlighter returned to the cup on your desk filled with various writing utensils.

You pulled out your shower caddy, putting it on top of your dresser before pulling out your robe. You laid it over the edge of your bed, removing all of your clothes. You threw them into your hamper and put on your robe. You slipped on your slides, grabbed your caddy and traveled to the bathroom.

Underneath the uneven streams from the showerhead, you thought about Jake.

Maybe your first impressions of him were wrong. When Josh told you about the nursing home back in their hometown, you felt instantaneously bad for assuming that he just never showed up. You knew from what Jake had told you, that he had work, but you figured that was just an excuse.

You bit at the skin of your lips, hands on your shoulders as you soaked the warmth of the water in. You were pulled out of your thoughts very quickly as someone flushed the toilet, making the water fade in from super hot to super fucking cold. You hated the school’s water system.

You finished your shower quickly, drying off with the towel slightly before putting your robe on and throwing your hair up into your towel. You walked back into your room, locking it behind you. You set your caddy back where it originally was.

You threw on a pair of jean shorts that hadn’t seen the light of day since early October, pairing it with a long sleeve shirt that you had gotten back in high school for Christmas. It was plain, brown, but hugged your body well. The sweatshirt debate lasted a few seconds before you remembered how hot it was going to be outside. A record temperature for mid-April, almost 80 degrees outside.

When you checked your phone getting back from the shower, it was just barely five thirty. You texted the groupchat again, asking if it would be cool to come over a half an hour earlier than you had originally said. You knew it was a dumb question, you would always be welcome in their room. You chuckled at Mel’s response of, “Are you fucking dumb? Of course you can come over. Bring wine if you have any left! No carry-in’s allowed at the concert.”

You put your phone down for a second and slipped on a pair of shoes that were comfortable enough for you to stand in for a long time. They used to be white, but had gotten progressively dirty from the years of use. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and slid a few different bottles of wine into your backpack, separated by extra clothing so the bottles didn’t clink together.

You walked down the stairs, out the door and over to the other dorm building across the walkway. You scanned your keycard to get into the building, walking through the hallways waving to the RA on duty, McKenna. She had been in a few of your classes and was always incredibly nice.

Her room this year was actually a few down from where you were living. McKenna was a great RA, knowing exactly how to handle the rowdiness of the floor while still keeping the resident’s respect. She didn’t bother them unless she needed to, and they didn’t bother her unless needed. She kept it underwraps about the underage drinking that would inevitably happen, mostly by telling the floor they could do what they want, as long as they were quiet by quiet hours (which was around ten thirty on the weekdays, and one in the morning on the weekends).

You took the elevator to the second floor of East Sunderland, getting off as soon as the doors opened. The booths that had previously been up had begun to dissipate, bringing the plastic tables back into the buildings they belonged in. You took a last glance at the people cleaning before heading into Mel and Tamia’s dorm building.

You knocked on the door, coming as soon as you announced yourself to Mel and Tamia. The girls laughed as you walked in, looking at a picture of Mel from when they were a kid. The two of them showed it to you as you settled your bag onto Mel’s chair in the corner of their room. “Your buck teeth! Oh my God, you were adorable, Mel.”

“Oh shut up, I bet you didn’t look any better.” Mel spoke to Tamia, making the three of you laugh. “Anyways, what wine did you bring?”

“The Barefoot we didn’t finish the other weekend, and then I still had some Rose, so I brought those over too. I wasn’t sure what we were feeling.” Tamia pulled some glasses from her shelves, passing them out to the two of you. You filled their glasses with the Rose you brought.

The three of you talked specifics on the plans for tonight, hitting up another fraternity party as soon as the concert ended. There were two separate ones going on at the same time, so the two of you weighed your options over which one to go to. “The Sigs are throwing one, but I’d rather die. Delta’s throwing one, too, we’ll go to theirs instead. And maybe see if anyone’s at the Sig party that we like and stop there before heading back to the dorms.”

You walked down with them to the Athletic Department, hoping to have gotten there early enough to get a good spot. As soon as the doors opened, you were filtered through the doors, making sure that you were students with the college. The three of you half ran to the barricade, settling yourselves against it on the right side, although still somewhat in the middle.

The show wouldn’t start for quite some time yet, the three of you talked amongst yourselves about upcoming finals, what you had to do for various classes. You also found a few people around you to chat to while you waited, hearing laughter roaring through various parts of the crowd.

A few students from the Admissions Office had taken the stage, playing a random playlist of music that matched what the band was going to be playing. Rock thundered through the speakers, filling audience members with anticipation. Rochel addressed the student body, “Hello everyone!” welcomed by the sounds of cheers and screaming.

“We’ve got about fifteen minutes before the band comes on stage, so help us warm them up to the stage!” Everyone clapped, although some of the girls around you looked unenthused as they stared down at their phones. You checked yours for any text messages from any family members. You had nothing, so you put it back in your pocket.

Around four songs played before Rochel turned the microphone on again. Everyone shouted before she talked. “Well, it’s that time! Please, give a warm welcome to Greta Van Fleet!”

Rochel and the two other students walked off the stage, passing by what you had assumed to be one of the band members. He sat behind the drums, smiling and waving off into the crowd. You cheered for him along with Tamia and Mel, cheering just as loud when their bassist walked onto the stage. Both of their hair was longer, goofy smiles on their faces as they got situated with their instruments.

Your mouth hung open as you watched the last two boys walk on stage, seeing the twins. Jake’s eyes scanned the crowd as he slung his guitar over his shoulder. He found you after a moment, sending a smirk your way. You closed your mouth, glaring at him. Mel laughed at you, noticing your demeanor shift. “How we doin’ tonight everyone?”

Everyone cheered. “A lot of you might know me and Jake, seen us on campus and stuff. It’s wonderful to see all of you here, coming to support us as we celebrate the onslaught of spring! It’s been a particularly warm one today, so make sure to drink water! There’s plenty to go around.”

Jake started them off, pick between his fingers as he strummed the beginning chords to one of their songs. Some of the girls had begun to scream, shouting at Jake’s response to Josh’s little speech before he began playing. His signature smirk formed, watching the girls go crazy, eyes scanning the crowd before he found you again.

As Jake continued to play, he looked over to you any time he could. It was hard to tear your eyes away from him, enthralled by the way he looked on stage. You tried your hardest, truly, to look at any of the other boys on the stage aside from Jake but you just couldn’t. He fit the stage just right, bringing the attention away from Josh and demanding to be seen by the entirety of the crowd. He belonged up there.

Jake went to the center of the stage during his solo. Josh lingered around the drummer, keeping to himself, drinking whatever was in his cup. They kept on playing as Jake took the spotlight, everyone cheering and screaming for him. You kept silent, wanting to hear him play. His fingers worked against the frets of the guitar, not before sliding down and up it quickly. 

You tried to hide the awe you were in, but your friends knew. They saw it written all over your face. The frustration and annoyance you felt when you first spotted Jake on stage dissipated the second his guitar solo began. You swallowed thickly, watching as his attention turned from his guitar to you, pointing it in your direction. Your cheeks flushed, and your thighs pressed together.

This was going to be a long night.

The second the concert was over, Josh thanked everyone for coming. His smile was wide as he waved goodbye to everyone, walking off next to Jake who had his guitar by the neck before he passed it off to one of the stage hands. Josh put his hands on his shoulders as they walked off stage.

You stuck around mostly waiting for the crowd to die down before trying to leave the building. Mel and Tamia talked about the show, saying that it was fucking dope, commenting on how excellent Jake’s playing was. You didn’t speak about Jake’s playing, mostly praising Josh for his spectacular performance. “I never expected that voice to come out of him, how heavenly.”

“Talking about me?” Jake cuts through your conversation, walking over to you with Josh not far behind. You roll your eyes. Tamia and Mel congratulate him on such an amazing performance, gushing about how sweet his guitar looks. “Why thank you, ladies.”

“Mel! I didn’t think you were going to be able to come.” He gushed, wiping his hands on the sides of his khaki shorts he had changed into.

“Yeah, well, Miss Quiet over here wanted to see her archnemesis, didn’t you?”

“I-I–” You turned your head slightly towards Jake, who had an amused smirk written all over his face. “I did not, Mellie, stop lying.”

“By the redness of your cheeks, sweetheart, I’d say she was telling the truth.” You had barely noticed that Mel, Tamia and Josh had slipped away from the two of you, leaving you alone.

“I didn’t even know you were playing.” You admitted shyly, hiding underneath a guise of innocence.

“Even if you did, you looked pretty hot and bothered by my playing.” You held the back of your arms, trying hard to maintain eye contact with him. You looked into his eyes, they were staring straight at you.

“Yeah, sure. I actually came because Josh said he was going. He neglected to mention that he was going to be singing,” you looked at Josh who wore a smile that read ‘guilty as charged’ before patting you on the shoulder.

“Hey, you didn’t ask. You just asked if I was going.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled slightly. “Anyways, Sam and Danny are gonna spend the night in my room, so I’ll have to find somewhere else to be tonight. Are you guys going to either of the frat parties tonight?”

“We’re going to the Delta party. The Sigs’ reputation is not the best, and I don’t feel like seeing whether or not it’s right.”

“That is completely understandable. I shall see you ladies there then. You coming, Jake? We still have a lot to put away.”

“Yeah, in a second,” he turned towards Josh who had begun to walk away, waving him off before turning back to the three of you. “I hope you guys enjoyed the show, maybe I’ll catch up with you at the party.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, actually, I would.” He smiled at you before joining the other boys cleaning up their amps and cords.

“Jesus Christ, the two of you just need to fuck or something. I don’t think I can handle another interaction like that,” Mel joked, making a gagging face when she finishes her sentence. You pushed at her arm, turning around and walking out of the gym.

Tamia and Mel giggled profusely about your and Jake’s rivalry. The two even started making bets on when the two of you would finally ‘get it on’, as Tamia put it. You just rolled your eyes at the conversation, changing the subject to something different.

—

The party, though filled with lots of fun and drinking, was a bust. While Josh had shown up with his younger brother and his brother’s friend, as you learned, in tow, Jake was nowhere to be found. You thought to ask Josh why he wasn’t there, but he was too busy dancing with Micah. Through the grapevine, you learned that Micah and Josh had been together since high school.

You stayed around the party for almost two hours before you wanted to go back. A small part of you had wished Jake had actually come. You wondered if maybe the two of you would get along if you put your competitive nature aside. You tried not to dwell on thoughts of Jake’s absence for too long, wanting to enjoy the rest of the night with your girls. But when you had enough of the party, you shouted in Mel’s ear to let her know you wanted to leave.

Mel and Tamia had made sure you got back alright about two hours into the party. Your legs were tired and your feet had begun to hurt. The two of them stumbled with you back to the door of your building, making sure you were inside before leaving to go back. They almost came in with you, until you insisted otherwise.

Laying on your bed with your head pointed towards the ceiling you started thinking about Jake again. What was his reason for not being at the party? Did he just make those comments beforehand just to rile you up? It seemed like the only valid reason your impaired mind could come up with.

You grabbed your phone, almost dropping it on the floor. You sluggishly opened Instagram, and searched for Jake’s profile. You scrolled through, looking at the few photos he did have on his page. Most of the pictures he had were of his guitar, or places he’s traveled. You were sent into a panic when you realized you had accidentally liked an older picture of Jake’s, one from freshman year of college. Hurriedly, you unliked it and immediately locked your phone.

That had been a few days ago.

Now it was Wednesday and your first final exam was here. It was for the class you shared with Jake, BIO 312.  It wasn’t exactly final exam time, but Professor Heinz was going to be away at a conference for a week starting Friday. You didn’t mind, though, since it spaced out your other finals enough to have a decent amount of time to study for them.

You sat at your desk, looking over your notecards one last time before the exam began. A frequent look around the room and you noticed Jake walking in, going to a random seat a couple rows in front of you. He set his bag down next to him, before bending down to grab his laptop. He noticed you watching him and sent a wink your way.

You looked away as you tried to hide the rush of rosy skin that fanned over your cheeks and heated up your ears. You tried to ignore him again until at least when the test started, embarrassed that you got caught looking at him. Your phone pinged and you pulled it out of your bag to look at it, as well as turn it on silent.

jacobtkiszka wants to send you a message.

You swallowed and hit the notification taking you straight to the message.

“Person who turns their test in last pays for coffee?”

Your lips curved into a small smile, feeling your fingers type the first thing that comes to your head.

“Hope you brought your wallet with you, Kiszka.”

You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and shoved it back into your bag. The professor walked through the door, setting her things down on the desk in the front of the room. Her coffee mug still had steam coming from it, freshly poured. A quick look of her watch after getting settled and it was time to start the exam. “Okay, everyone. It’s time for class. Take out your laptops and begin your exam. You may leave when you have finished. Thank you for a great semester, and good luck.”

The questions on the exam were all ones that you knew and had studied for for weeks. It was strenuous, trying to remember everything on the cumulative exam. You had hoped it would go quickly and you would answer them faster than Jake could. Occasionally, you turned to look at Jake, seeing if maybe he was trying to look at you too.

With one question left of your exam, you click the answer and press submit after a minute of debate. You had a bad habit of second guessing yourself occasionally; it was actually the bane of your testing experiences. You hated when you felt confident about an answer, until you really sat with the other possible answers it could be.

You put your laptop back into your bag, zipped it up and noticed that Jake had already left. You cursed to yourself, knowing that now you had to buy Jake a coffee. You waved goodbye to your professor with a smile and walked out the doors. Jake sat outside of the classroom at one of the tables they had throughout the building. “Whatcha reading?”

“Josh recommended it to me, but I’m going to be honest, I fucking hate this book.” He laughed, shoving it into his bag. “You know any good coffee shops around here? I’m kind of tired of Starbucks.”

“I just so happen to know the best coffee shop in town, but it is a bit of a walk, if you don’t mind that?” You asked, walking through the door that Jake was holding before muttering a thank you to him. 

“I could also drive, if you’re okay with that.”

“I’m more than okay with that,” you chuckle, letting him know that your dorm building had enough stairs; any chance you could get to use an elevator, or get driven somewhere, you would take that opportunity in a heartbeat.

The drive was short in comparison to the twenty minute walk it would have taken to get to the shop. Jake tried to offer the radio to you, but you let him play what he wanted to listen to. You didn’t know exactly who was playing, but the blues music that played through the speakers was a breath of fresh air.

Your typical shuffle had a plethora of music from differing genres, whether that be rap or old country. You hadn’t known much when it came to blues music, especially the difference between good blues music and bad. Eventually, you got the courage to ask who was playing and Jake answered, letting you know that the song was by Buddy Guy. “It’s called She Suits Me To A T. I tried for weeks to learn this song when I first started playing music more seriously.”

“This is the coffee shop, at the next corner.” You watched his hand as he made a right turn, noticing him steering with just the palm of his hand. Letting the leather steering wheel glide back to its original position in his hand, elbow propped on the door with the window rolled down.

It’s all you thought about on your way into the coffee shop, completely relying on autopilot. Your responses to Jake were almost textbook, one word sentences that could continue the conversation without much effort. “What’re you thinking of getting?”

“Oh, um, I’m not sure. I usually have them surprise me,” you admit, shoving your hands into your jacket. “Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. That’s the gamble you take.”

“I like that a lot, actually. I think I’ll have them surprise me too, if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all.” You smiled at Jake before he went to order for the two of you. You found a place to sit in the meantime, offering a spot towards the windows so you could watch people come and go, each on their own paths of life.

By the time Jake sat down, both of the coffees were in his hand. After a few questions, Jake set the iced drink down in front of you, and the hot drink in front of himself. “Yours is an iced chai, with brown sugar syrup and vanilla. Mine is some sort of tea, I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying. I just wanted to remember what she put in yours in case you liked it.”

“Oh,” you spoke, bringing the cup towards you. “Thank you, that’s really sweet. Do you like your drink?”

“You know, it’s really not bad. I wouldn’t have gotten it otherwise, but it’s really not bad.”

“You hate it.”

“I hate it. It’s not good.” The two of you chuckled before you offered him a sip of your drink. “Mhmm,” he moaned. “That’s good, oh my God.”

The two of you continued small talk, whether it was over the classes you had previously taken, memories of parties from past years – anything. You shared previous high school experiences, mostly about the ridiculous things that were considered parties in your teenage years.

Conversation with Jake was surprisingly a lot easier than you thought it would be. Especially since you’ve hated him pretty much your entire college career. You figured he’d be stuck up, aware of his academic achievements and ready to flaunt them in front of anyone who’d listen.

He was the opposite. His sentences were wrapped with kindness, and the reflection in his voice seemed nothing but positive. His voice was like silk, he could’ve talked you into damn near anything as long as his voice sounded like that. It hurt when the conversation slowed, spending a few moments to take in the scene around you two, as well as finally being able to drink more of your drink (which was very delicious, it was almost like crack).

“How long have you been playing guitar?” You asked after the silence became almost uncomfortable to sit with.

“Oh jeez. I’ve been playing since I was… like three? Yeah, three.” You stared at him with eyes slightly wide, mouth agape. “What?”

“N-Nothing, that’s just a really long time. You’re what, 21 now?” He clarified that he was only twenty, his birthday roughly a week away. You poked fun at him, mentioning how you were older, even if it was by less than a year.

“Josh is throwing us a birthday party, if you want to come. Since it’ll be our 21st, we’re having it at our parents cabin on Lake Michigan. You’re welcome to bring Mel and Tamia if you’d like. Sam and Danny are going to be there, even though they’re underage, but we’re gonna pretend like they’re older.” Jake spoke with one last sip of his drink, letting the empty cup echo on the table as he set it down.

“I will let Mel and Mia know. I can’t make any sure decisions without talking to them first, but I’m pretty damn sure that they’ll say they would love to go.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ll say no either. They seem pretty adamant that you have a little crush on me or something,” he said, putting your cups inside of a bus tub to be picked up and washed.

“I don’t have a crush on you,” you laughed, walking out of the coffee shop with Jake. “I actually hate you, remember?”

“You may say that you hate me, but you’re not really good at showing it.”

[yume-x-hanabi]

Life update

Posted on DW, but I figured I could update this blog as well now that I'm semi-getting back into social media...

I've sorta fallen off from the fandom and social media space, because life has been a lot these past few years. To sum up briefly:

- I made a couple of posts about it last year, but I bought an apartment in a new building (construction wasn't finished at the time). Running left and right to choose stuff such as flooring etc, getting things organized on the paperwork side (banks, notaries...), plus the move itself, took me a lot of time and energy. I've been living here full time for 10 months now though, and it's been great. Love the building (even tho it's not entirely finished orz), love the neighbourhood, and it's so great to have your own place. Missy seems at ease here, too, which is important. The balconies' guardrails are huge glass panes that go all the way to the floor with no gap, so that means I can let her out without supervision without fear of her falling/jumping off.

- Work, the main culprit for my withdrawal from fandom. I think I mentioned before that I took on more admin tasks a couple years ago, and while I enjoy the actual work when I get to it, it's a huge huge drain to my mental energy, esp when combined with everything else (class prep, exams, meetings etc). So it's pretty much killed my drive, and my already bad work-life balance just became worse and worse. Like, it's not that I don't have free time (perks of teaching = lots of holidays), but when I do I'm so mentally exhausted that I was pretty much only able to play mindless games like Solitaire or Civilization VI (which became like an addiction lol) or doomscroll on twitter or reddit. I pretty much lost my ability to engage with hobbies, except for the ones below, and I'm trying really really hard to come back and make it stick this time around.

- Speaking of hobbies though, I've gotten really into classical music and started attending concerts regularly. By perfect coincidence, my new place is at a 2-minute walk from my city's philharmonic hall, and I've been enjoying the heck out of that perk. My city's orchestra is really good, and their program so varied. When it was time to choose my subscription for next season, it was harder to choose which concerts not to attend (but a choice had to be made ;v;). Also I'm super stoked because they're playing my favorite symphony next year, I didn't expect to be able to hear it live so soon!

I think this really saved my mental health this year. Like, it's a bit hard to explain, but there's something really unique and relaxing about the atmosphere there. It's a bit intimidating at first, and I was really self-conscious about not making noise at the beginning, but I've gotten used to it now. Mostly, I think it helped me rediscover what it is to just sit down and enjoy the moment, without constantly looking for stimulation to my already overstimulated mind (silly aside, but before that I'd sorta lost the ability to binge a series without mindlessly checking my phone in the middle of episodes. Being "forced" to keep my phone away for the duration of a concert has really helped me recover my attention span). I think it helps my mind rest, if that makes sense? Also there's nothing comparable to listening to the music live in a hall with great acoustics x3

I followed the Queen Elisabeth Competition closely this year, live for a few finals performances when possible, the rest on TV, and it was really awesome. I think in four years I'll get the subscription for the whole finals week :p

- Relatedly, I've also started taking violin lessons. I'd always wanted to learn an instrument since I was a child (loved those mandatory recorder classes we had at school lol), but it never happened (partly because I was too passive as a child to actively ask for it, partly because my parents probably didn't want to have their eardrums massacred, so didn't offer it (wouldn't have said no if I'd asked, but as I said I wasn't good at asking back then)). It took me a while to actually make the jump, because I thought I'm too old now and there's no point, but I finally did with some encouragements from friends and colleagues and I'm really glad I did. Violin is... hard lol. I sound absolutely terrible. But it's also really fun? Like I feel like I'll never be good, but also I've made so much progress since I started. I don't have much time to practice (I aim at at least 10min a day these days, which isn't a lot, but it's better than nothing and it's more important to do it a little regularly than a lot once in a while). I'm really looking forward to the day I'll be able to attempt to play Xillia songs 😄 Also I really love my teacher<3

- Lastly, niece is 3 now and so fun to interact with. It's not always easy, she's very stubborn and willful, but she's also really sweet and funny. Love her ❤️ And she's just got a little sister! who's a very chill newborn, so different from niece#1 lol. I can't wait to see them play together when they're a little bit older.

Anyway, that's pretty much the main things that have been going on the past couple of years. Like I said I'm not sure I can be totally back, I think it's gonna take a lot of adjustment, but this time I really don't want to let another year pass by like that. I'm really gonna try hard to have better balance this time!

[polarcoconut]

How I've maintained good grades my whole life: The perfect school mindsetmindset

Tips to succeeding in school

I've always had good grades. Even if I fail a test. Even if I fail an exam, I've always had a good grade in the class. And that's from deep subconscious work.

Personal history: I've always been considered smart and good at school. I never heard differently. My teacher said once "If Haylie doesn't understand, no one understands." I've also always genuinely loved school. I liked being good. My teacher once said "I wish I had a classroom full of Haylie's." All this from a very young age helped me succeed for a long time. Until I had a serious mental health issue and basically lost myself. I had to find out what used to make me succeed at school. Cuz I'm telling y'all right now it wasn't effort. My main focus in class was my friends and crushes lmao. But I had a mindset from a young age that helped me. And I re-learned that mindset and now school feels the same for me. An easy asset that flows into life naturally.

How I did this

<3 BEING CLOSE WITH MY TEACHERS

teachers are humans. Respect them. Communicate with them. Show interest in their lives. Look at them while they teach. Ask questions. Value their insight. Be honest with them. All while still maintaining professionalism. They can be your references and even help you gain opportunities.

one time I talked my way out of taking a whole ass economics exam. got an automatic a on it for being nice to her throughout the course.

&lt;3 Valuing school

School definitely has its bad sides. But its a gift in many ways. Find how it brings value to your life. It can be an escape from your home life. It can be your way of moving up in the world.

<3 Finding the fun

I love school work! It's so fun!! Find the satisfaction. I love learning new things.

<3 Doing what I can

Only take on what you can actually do. (In american college that would mean, only taking as many classes as you can handle) It doesn't matter how long it takes you to do something. It's better to actually understand a class then rush through it. I have huge obligations to my family and work so I'm compassionate with myself on my school work load. Life is a lot so don't feel bad if you can't do everything you thought you could.

&lt;3 Getting help

This is actually something I struggle with but it's important. I know how dumb it feels but accept that you need help. For me, this is math and computer classes. I plan on hiring a tutor and everything. I want to do the best I possibly can. Learn your weaknesses and try to strengthen them.

<3 Rewarding myself

Be proud of yourself. Every achievement deserves a treat.

<3 Getting involved in what the school has to offer

School is a whole experience. Find something that interests you. Don't be a afraid to try something new. Make school a happy place for you.

stay tuned for a school affirmations post

[sapphic-agent]

For how much Class 1B constantly outperforms Class 1A, not once has Super Genius Peincipal Nedzu ever adressed this with Aizawa.

You'd think someone as smart as him would see this glaring problem and pull Aizawa into a meeting to see what the hell is going on, but that's apparently asking too much.

Because Hori's gone so out of his way to paint Aizawa as a good teacher that having Nezdu acknowledge this fact would be retconning that.

You actually just brought this to my attention, but 1B outperforming 1A is supposed to pin blame entirely on the students. As much as 1A's failings aren't attributed to Aizawa, 1B's successes aren't attributed to Vlad King either. It's implied that it's the students and the students alone who make the difference, Aizawa and Vlad are often depicted as bystanders who simply observe and make comments here and there. They're not held responsible for their students' progress or lack thereof (Aizawa all but confirms this during the Sorts Festival).

And yeah, in case of the provisional licensing exam that's kind of true. All Bakugou had to do was not be a dick for like ten minutes. As awful of a teacher as Aizawa is, that is something he shouldn't have to teach especially considering that Bakugou's job at the time didn't require nearly as much effort as almost everyone else's.

(Todoroki's a little different as I've said before he only failed because Bakugou did and Hori couldn't have his golden boy be the only one to fail)

But the final exam is a completely different story. His decision to pair up Kaminari and Ashido was terrible. Neither one of them are very bright and they were going up against (possibly) the smartest creature on Earth. They were set up to fail. Why not pair one of them up with a classmate they could learn from and vice versa? Especially since that was the intent with pairing Izuku and Bakugou up, right? To have Bakugou learn from Izuku (and make Izuku do his job for him). Why did this only apply to them while almost all the other matchups were the complete opposite?

(Not to mention a lot of these issues could have easily been resolved earlier if Aizawa had just made the effort. Ashido and Kaminari can't think strategically? Give them exercises to help them. Yaoyorozu's struggling with self-esteem? Help her regain her confidence. Bakugou can't work with others? Attempt to rectify that instead of making it another student's problem to deal with. Instead he waited until an exam worth a good chunk of their grade)

We don't know how 1B was paired up, but I assume it was because Vlad saw their strengths and weaknesses and matched them accordingly while also taking the time to work with them beforehand. And that's why only one 1B student failed as opposed to 1A's five. Because Vlad took the time to improve them instead of just relying on kids being attacked by villains and logical ruses.

1B improves at a steadier rate because Vlad actually acts like a teacher and puts in the effort with them. Aizawa does neither

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hi Reid! I have a question about the american college/uni system that I've been wondering about for a long time and you seem knowledgeable and friendly enough to maybe help: How big/long are your courses? Like, how many do you take every term? Is every course the same size? How many subjects do you generally study at the same time?

For context, I'm from Sweden and our course sizes are based on a point system, where 30 points is supposed to represent 20 weeks (a term) of full time studying (40 hours a week). It's common to take 30 point courses (usually divided into subcourses, say 4×7,5 points, two for the first half and two for the second half of a term (or 6×5 with three at a time)), but you can also pick smaller courses (usually 7,5 or 15 points taken at 50%) until you get 30 points.

I think my real question is how this translates. If people speak about a, say, linguistics 101 course, is that a 30 point or 7,5 point course? And do all your courses stretch over an entire term? Please help, I just want to know how to interpret people talking about their courseload

Hi there, sorry it's taken me a while to get to this—I've been very busy prepping for the class I'm teaching.

Every university here is different, and credits (how many points you get per class, and how many total points you need to graduate) also vary based on whether your school does quarters, trimesters, or semesters. My only experience has been with semesters, so that's what I'll focus on here.

Here, most classes are either 3 or 4 credits. A usual 3 credit class might meet twice a week for 1:15 minutes each time. A class might be four credits if it's a higher level seminar or discussion based class with a higher number of more difficult readings.

Classes that have both a lab and lecture component can be more (around 6, I think? I never took one), and then there are less difficult classes that usually only run for half the semester that might be 2 credits. For example, I took a half-semester costume design class my freshman year. Below is the official jargon that talks about how credits are determined.

The current nationally recognized standard, the Federal Credit Hour Standard, defines a three-credit course as three fifty-minute classes per week over a fifteen-week semester (including final exam week), or the equivalent (for courses using a non-traditional format such as blended or online learning). This standard assumes that each credit hour generates two hours of assigned work for every hour of in-class contact. Thus, the guiding rule is 45 hours of work per semester for each unit of credit. For laboratory courses or their equivalent, one credit hour is assigned for three hours of laboratory, workshop, studio, fieldwork, independent study, etc.

You can also (sometimes) take a class pass/fail, although usually that reduces the number of credits it is worth. Finally, you can audit a class, which means that you get access to the syllabus, do the readings, and show up, but you don't have to do any of the assignments. Audited classes are worth no credits, but they do show up on your transcript.

Our undergraduate classes are often numbered 100-400, with 100 level classes being introductory, and 400 level classes being highly specialized with prerequisite requirements. Graduate level classes are 500 or higher.

Credits are different than the grades you get. Grades are on a 4 point scale, where 4.0 would be 100%, with 70% being a 2.0 and the lowest passing grade. I'm attaching a picture of the grade breakdown from my own syllabus to show you how my current institution assigns grades to percentage points.

Most colleges/institution require you to earn a C in order to pass a class. If you get that C, you get the full amount of credits for the course, same as anyone who got an A. However, your Grade Point Average (GPA), which is calculated by taking the average of every grade you've gotten, will be lower than someone who got all As.

At most institutions, you have to take 12 credits a semester (so 4 classes for 3 credits each) in order to qualify as a full time student, which comes with certain privileges. Usually you can take up to 18 credits, although this may cost more if the school doesn't have a flat rate tuition.

Finally, with a grading system like this one, undergraduate students are expected to earn a total of 120 credits to complete their bachelor's degree.

As for course sizes, they can range from 200+ person lectures at the really big universities, to 5-12 person seminar/discussions for the higher level classes. Lab classes or more hands on options will be in the 20-30 person range. But it highly depends.

I know that's confusing. Hopefully that helps? -Reid

[antigonick]

this is maybe a messy question but — is there anything you wish you knew before going for an academic career? i ask my profs too but most of them have had tenure for longer than i’ve been alive. (it’s the senior year career crisis! i adore my literature undergrad, but i realize the job market does not love me back.)

Okay, first things first, academic careers and circles depend on where you are, so—take this with a grain of salt. My situation might be very different from yours (the first obvious difference is that university is a state institution where I am, so it's public.)

So, you're right, and we all know this before we even go for it, the job market in humanities does NOT love you back, and neither does your institution: what we're doing can seldom be turned into something lucrative by private companies (if you even would want to work for them anyway), which means that funding is rare. In effect, it means that you don't really have work hours: you always wear different hats, with a lot of responsibilities in the university proper (teaching, preparing to teach, exams, administration, lab tasks, networking, lab projects, student supervision, academic jury positions, etc), other endeavours depending on your specialties (publishing work? translation work? paratext work? didactic experiments?), and then your personal research, which invades all the time you have left (reading, corpus work, writing, conference communications, publishing—in academic journals at least, you do not get money for your publication, and it's not always that you get funding to travel to conferences, either—in that case, you are literally paying to work).

All of these are indispensable, because the solidity and growing of your research, and thus your standing as an educator and a researcher, are judged by 1. your research not stagnating (don't spend 6 years giving the same seminar in different places); 2. your research being disseminated (publishing, communication); 3. your activities as an active member of this small, small world (administrative tasks; active participation in laboratory missions, events, projects; and later, advising and supervision of students and young researchers).

I don't think that's surprising to you, but it's worth thinking about. Deciding to go into academia feels like following a passion, and a passion project — at least it felt like that for me. But passion has only a very slim place in the day to day, and while it's good, important fuel, it won't be enough and it won't be fulfilled every day.

The one important thing that I hadn't really thought about before going into academia and that I find very important now is this, though: even if you are going into this for research, and learning, and writing, you will be an educator. Teaching will take a huge place in all of what you do. You and your knowledge don't exist in a personal bubble of self-nourishing: this is the privilege of a student. Whether you are teaching a class, writing an article, giving a conference, or talking about your specialisation to others, you are always teaching (while continuing to learn yourself, of course). I've met a lot of academics who behave as if being knowledgeable or expert affords them superiority, the right to belittle, the comfort to consider misunderstanding and difficulties as a failing from the student rather than a failing from their teaching—and all in all, the privilege to just come in, spew out what they know, and not care what is retained (in writing, by using obscure jargon, for example; in class... We've all had those teachers who don't give a fuck about whether you're getting it, and steam ahead with concepts they haven't bothered to bridge into what you're supposed to know). Those are the same people who say their students are "idiots" and get frustrated about the thankless chore of teaching when they could be doing something so much loftier with their time.

That's not it, though. Honestly, I don't even understand how you get there, because research teaches you quickly that you are ignorant and always will be; that there are no answers, only questions and perspectives. As an academic, your job is not just to dig into them further, but to make them graspable by others.

So. Being in academia is not a gateway into working in abstracts forever; it's a job, like any other jobs. It is a gateway into learning forever, if you make it that, but then again you don't need to be in academia to learn everyday. Most importantly, it comes with a duty of transmission that shouldn't be brushed aside, but rather should be part of your academic thinking: an epistemology of the subjects you teach, and the didactic shape you will give it.

There's a huge difference between knowledge and pedagogy, and going into academia for knowledge alone will only lead to disappointment. Excitement (for me at least) comes from the abstract, the work that you do alone, with the text, in that moment when you're not yet sure what's going to be sparked. But that's a minuscule part of it all; and it's the ethics of transmission, rather than the solitude of assimilation, that fill your day to day.

That being said, you can learn from transmission very much too, so it's not to say that it's bad.

ALRIGHT. This got super long, and I don't know if that really answers your question but... Here's my two cents about it!

[helenstudies]

I hope I'm not being rude but how did you have the time to do everything on your bio when you're only 24? Can you share how you learnt a lot of languages?

It's fine. Believe it or not, people ask me that A LOT.

I'm born in Myanmar and only spoke Burmese until I was 10 and my mom decided her children should be able to speak English. She sent me and my sibling to an English Summer School and then started speaking English at home. I've been bilingual since then. Burmese people are very good at English (read: we were colonized by the British) I started learning Chinese at age 12, I think. Then at age 14 and 15, while writing novels and fanfictions, I taught myself how to read hanguel (korean script) and hiragana/katakana (japanese script) then started studying formally after graduating highschool.

In Myanmar, until a few years ago, high school students used to graduate at age 16 and go to the university. So when I graduated high school, I went the distance education route in University and became a freelance translator and interpreter. I also did some transcribing and content writing. Then I went to Korea and studied in a language program. I came back after nine months and at age 19 I just started taking things seriously and self studied everything to pass all the language certification exams.

In 2021, because of the military coup, I dropped out of high school, realized my freelance translator job is not really going well due to the dictatorship, so I started to branch out. Now I read tarot and interpret astrological birth charts, teach classes and tutor people, sell books and ebooks. That's just how freelancing is. I think.

Anyways, all these things seem a lot until you realize I just spent a decade of my life just doing things I want. A lot of people tried discouraging me of course They're always like "choose a language!" "choose a path!" but I just don't like to listen to people. Hopefully, a few more decades and I might become a jack of all trades. And learn a few more languages. And read a few more books. And get into a few more hobbies. Yeah.

[poemsfor-her]

Hey,

I really wanna study and do my best since this is my final year. And everyone has known me as a very weak person in studies because I always get very low marks all the time. I don't know what should I do. I just don't remember anything I study. No matter how much I try it is just so difficult for me. And none of my teachers teach nicely. Day after tomorrow I am having my physics exam and I am learning the important topics only but I tend to forget the formulas because there just soo many chapters and when I am going for solving numericals it's just soo different like all new kind of equations has been made very different from what I learnt. (I am looking at the notes I made and practising numericals coz even tho I studied I don't remember)

Can you please suggest me if I am wrong or any method so that I can become a good student and score good marks.

hello ♡

when i was younger i wasn't interested in studying. i had bad grades, low focus and i never studied because i never wanted to. Everyone saw me as a dumb girl that always gets bad grades, even my homeroom teacher. They thought of me so lowly that my teacher came to my mother and told her "i am thinking of putting your daughter on a special learning program" (that's a program that teachers teach some of their students who have a learning disability). Which is nonsense, since i fluently spoke english at that time, take into consideration that i was a 8-9 year old child that learned english on her own by the age of 5 with a family that knows but doesn't speak english. Time has passed and i've gotten new subjects and teachers. I've decided that i want to study. I studied, it was hard at first, since i wasn't used to studying therefore i forgot some topics a lot, but with repetition and studying constantly i managed to get an A in biology. I was the first one to get an A in my class. They expected an past straight A student to get it but it was me. I still remember their silly little faces full with shock and unbelief.

I started high school. First year spent far from home, was a solid student and i didn't like that place so i moved schools closer to my little town. Met bunch of friends, adapted their mindset about school and stopped studying.

My last year at high school, i decided that i want to further my education and to do that i need good grades. Now i am the best student in my class, i have only A's and teachers love me. Yes, people were yet again in disbelief but i don't really care. They will all probably live in their parents basement so their reaction isn't really important to me.

my tips:

— you aren't used to studying so that's why it takes you a little bit more to remember information.

— i have a post about studying techniques. check them out! (wrote that post just for you)

— learn a couple of days before your exam because taking in so much informations the day before your exam is overwhelming for the brain.

— do the pomodoro technique: study for 20 min and take a break for 5 minutes (don't use your phone while you're on the break)

GOOD LUCK 💗📖🏛 YOU CAN DO IT!

[archivalofsins]

I'm about to complain about something that's been bugging me more since I started writing theories, and it's gonna be phrased harshly. People hate the art of storytelling. They hate the act of reading words on a screen with no visual stimulus.

They can say I love reading all they want but most of the time, it comes with bells and whistles attached. It always does. I've been writing since I was a kid. Since I was in the fourth grade honestly and the only time my writing has been genuinely enjoyed or appreciated by others was back then writing horror stories for school assignments having classmates pass it around and point out what part they liked and say why.

It wasn't a matter of the stories being good or more fun to write than what I write now. I always enjoy myself writing. No it wad.the fact that I had an audience that took my art for what it was. When they passed it around there weren't comments like oh this would ve so cool to seen drawn our, animated, or dramatically read aloud. It was just taking for the art form it was.

I went to an arts high school the only schools in the city I grew up in while I was a kid were technical high schools. If you wanted to go to a school and you were born in the city and didn't magically spawn into existence at high school age well fuck you- You've now got to lie about your address and go to a charter school a town over and hope they don't find out or the staff was cool about it.

All the high schools were mostly for people who lived outside of the city and wanted a place that looked good on college applications. My first choice wasn't an art school either. I put writing to the side going into high school. I actually went through the entrance exam of a technical high school with a focus on robotics because I had an interest in robotics with a focus on its medical applications. But through multiple things out of my control I ended up in an arts high-school going to three selerate high schools throughout my high school years and graduation from this one.

I majored in graphic design there a subsection of the visual arts department. That consisted of traditional arts, radio and television, and graphic design. I learned later that they had a writing program there was a journalism major but ya know that's nit art anymore so by the tine I got there guess where that was exactly where traditional art is now it was cut. The only remnant of a writing program being the radio and television major, the main focus of the major was mostly on directing and editing but it went over script writing as well.

Where'd traditional art go probably integrated into the graphic design major given how tech heavy making art is now a days. They deemed it too old-fashioned, and by the time my junior graduated, our art teacher (the only one who hadn't quitl was teaching history. The majors were pretty conjoined anyway graphic design majors did have traditional art classes as well. Not many took it seriously to some graphic design majors tradition art was very much beneath them and they didn't want to be lumped into the same department as those weird traditional artists with their comics and manga scripts. The major was underfunded and you were expected to buy your own supplies to build a portfolio and restock on them when needed.

There wasn't paint or easels or all that good stuff one year an old hot glue gun literally caught the classroom on fire and we had to do art classes from the science room for two months. While also fundraising fir repairs to the art room. You'd think students that at the bottom of the barrel would probably have more respect for overlooked art forms. But not really I wrote rough drafts of novels in high school and when speaking about without fail,

"Huh you think someone's actually going to read all that in this age comics and manga are the onky things that can sell."

This was in 2010. I honestly don't expect anyone to read all this. Because I haven't put in some large words, or pictures or made an obligatory meme like

Art school students be like

Can another person even imagine the hoops I have to jump through to keep writing engaging for an audience- Oh wait you don't have to you can literally see the evolution of it through the posts I made here. Every time I mention writing their are so many people who either draw or don't who will say things like that'd be cool to see drawn or in any other medium than the one you're doing it in. That doesn't seem like a love of storytelling to me. That doesn't seem like an appreciation of writing to me.

I've entered writing competitions the first step explain all this in threw sentences, one, if you had to describe it in three words what would they be, alright give me the elevator pitch. Make it shorter, so I know if it's worth reading, we have a lot of applicants if the description isn't engaging enough I'll just skim it write some feedback and move on, if you can't even do this much are you even a writer. To even get a book selling we writers basically have to be social media influencers or their own marketing team now a days.

The people judging writing don't even seem to enjoy reading. I make the fact that I don't like drawing in any capacity it doesn't fill me with enjoyment very clear. I would shout from the tables rooftop with the largest megaphone,

"I HATE DRAWING I DON'T WANT TO DO IT EVER IT FILLS ME WITH NO JOY I THINK DOING IT SUCKS!"

If could so tell me why someone despite me telling them this upon seeing my ocgram went,

"I know you don't like drawing but minigrams for this would be so cool."

This was someone who actually enjoys drawing by the way. Like, man, I wonder what would make that possible outside of suggesting I pick up a pen and do something you admit to knowing I don't like. You think I haven't heard this before- you think I haven't been told a billion times that my art form would be better if it just wasn't my art form. If I just phrased things a little better or coddled readers more. You think this feedback is unique this is a Tuesday for me. You wouldn't tell a visual artist they should open up word and write a summary on every piece they draw to go alongside it. Hell, most don't even put image description for the visually impaired to make it accessible when they post their art most of the time but others do it for them.

That's the difference in expectation between writers and visual artists that's the gap. If a writer wants to write they're told to draw if an artist wants to dabble in writing, though they're so cool actually and can do no wrong it's just for fun and the arts great as usual. Because writing is just appetizers that people pretend in the entree now. No one even cares to talk about the plot of anything.

It's not like writing matters, and if it goes against viewers' expectations, they're more likely to dismiss it and say it was written wrong. That's how little value it holds to the modern consumer, and I have every right to be pissed about it. Because it's fucking annoying.

[mr2swap]

The great shift: parenting and streaming

Thanks to @thegreatstoryteller

-Dad, what are you doing in my office? I've told you a hundred times that I don't like you coming in here when I'm working, now you better get out of here and finish your math homework before I finish streaming or there will be no dessert for dinner- The camera it was on and thousands of people were looking at that hot body that spent 3 hours a day in the gym, the comments were piling up by the hundreds, most of them were just sexual advances or paid requests for him to flex his fantastic arms in front of the camera, most of them of his audience were boys his age… Thomas is now 14 years old and entering his teens, although perhaps “fatherhood” would be more appropriate for his new 34-year-old body. His voice was thick and firm, I knew that tone of voice, he had been losing a couple of games, and he was angry, I turned around and trying to be less noisy than a mouse I closed the door before leaving, I immediately heard him lock the door so that I would not interrupt him.

2 years ago this place used to be my office, and that mature hairy body used to be mine, but my son Thomas and I were affected by the great shift. “Luckily” we ended up trapped in each other's bodies on a Saturday. One moment I'm in my office finishing my accounting report and a blink later I'm on our living room couch watching cartoons. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was that now I was trapped in the body of my 14-year-old son forever, I lost my entire life in a second, plus half my size, my muscles and all of my authority.

We survived on leftover food in the cupboard. I taught him how to cook, how to shave, and how to exercise his new body. I even tried to teach him how to do my job, but my son was never the brightest in the class. Maybe it was muscle memory or some weird sci-fi phenomenon, but before long he learned my routine at the gym and learned to enjoy his newfound status as man of the house. Obviously, I was fired from my job as Head of the accounting office of my company, and the government gave my son a huge compensation check. The money might not be much, but it would last us long enough for my son to get a job. Suitable employment for a child in the body of an adult, much stronger and taller than the rest of the men. Or that was the plan, as soon as the first check arrived in the mail, my son took my car and went straight to the mall, so he could buy a new computer, microphones and 3 cameras so everyone could enjoy every inch of his perfect muscles live. . He did all this without my knowledge, so when he got his first payout from his followers he rubbed all the money in my face, which was about to turn into a field of puss and pimples thanks to all the hormones in my little teenage body. . In a short time he became popular and that face that I used to look at every day in the mirror was now on Twitch and YouTube, He became so confident and arrogant thanks to his popularity, his maturity and that huge penis that he now had between his hairy thighs.

It's…Hard to admit, but he's doing a better job than I am with my life, he's only been in my body for 2 years and he's so popular that every time he picks me up from school, all his old friends line up for him. being able to take a picture with him while I wait in the back of Nick's car… oh right I haven't talked about Nick. Is he… my stepfather? It's weird putting a label on your son's boyfriend after the great shift, he and Thomas have been dating for some time now, he spends weekends at our house, even sleeps with Thomas in my old bed. It doesn't bother me that they are together, but… they could be less noisy in bed, I have a math exam tomorrow and I need to sleep.

If you liked my story take a look at my patreon, I have a lot of stories on my patreon.

[a-suspicious-lack-of-bagel]

I've been having some thoughts about knowledge, understanding, processing, and recall. Why is it that the teachers I got on with best - and most enjoyed the classes of - were my Physics and Maths teachers, yet my worst subjects academically were extension 2 maths and physics? (This one got rather long - 10.5 more paragraphs under the cut).

I think it's to do with what's being tested - knowledge vs understanding. As @dorianbrightmusic recently pointed out to me, I tend to have better understanding than I do knowledge - that's just how I learn. This means (at least for me) that, for example, I am alarmingly good at pretending to be prepared at uni: I can sit there in my tute, having barely skimmed one of the 3 set readings and not watched the lecture; and yet I'm still engaged in the tutorial discussion - and at the end, it's my one-sentence summary that goes on the whiteboard for our group.

The secret to an excellent participation grade (at least, in my experience) seems to be one's ability to PROCESS information: to absorb, synthesize, and have ideas about the topic of discussion - and while some prior knowledge is useful and highly recommended, it's not always necessary. Unfortunately for my marks, however; participation requires attendance (how inconvenient!); and EXAMS are more a measure of one's knowledge.

In an exam, you're typically expected to apply your acquired knowledge to a series of questions or problems. Rather than your ability to process information, an exam tests your ability to RECALL information - especially under time pressure. Sure, this is partly a comment on my lack of exam preparation; but my high-achieving colleagues went into their maths and physics exams armed with a catalogue of practice problems and a list of formulae used to solve them - whereas I walked into the hall with only the small reference sheet provided, and then mashed formulae and problems together willy-nilly until an answer appeared.

As a brief side note, I find essays to require a combination of both processing AND recall, as they're both persuasive and informative in nature. "Here's the cool idea I had" (processing), "here's my evidence" (recall), "and therefore I'm right" (processing again). Hence the subjects where my enjoyment tended to better match my marks: English and History.

Returning to my topic; unfortunately for me, it tends to be faster to recall stored knowledge than apply acquired understanding - and so my marks were less good than I'd have liked. Sure, I had no issues tackling the hardest problems in the exam; but if the "easy" questions take you just as long, you run out of time before you can get to them. It's much easier to apply a formula than invent one - so if you can just learn them all beforehand, you'll work faster. (Stay tuned for my next lecture: the many problems with how assessment is done, and why it still probably shouldn't change!)

Anyways, that's why I tend to prefer the theoretical to the applied (although other reasons also apply there), and that's why I got on so well with my y12 maths and physics teachers. Some of my earlier teachers were experts in navigating the education system, with a passion for their subject; but these two were experts in their subject, with a passion for teaching. (And also kind, intelligent, and neurodivergent; which helps.)

It's been apparent to me for a while that I'm never going to be a talented student of either maths or physics. The conclusion I've come to recently, though; is that I AM an excellent physicist and mathematician (well, at least I am when that's what I put my effort into). I'd be a perfectly good post-graduate academic - it's a tad unfortunate that "graduate in relevant field" is a prerequisite.

There's a saying that "those who can't do, teach; and those who can't teach, teach PE". That's bullshit. I've met teachers FAR more competent than many professionals in their fields; and one of the best teachers I've had's subject was PDHPE. (And a good thing too - it's Remarkably hard and ENORMOUSLY important to teach kids about consent, especially when your classes consist of a bunch of feral teenagers with VASTLY different experiences, prior knowledge, and sometimes trauma!)

However, I do think we need more people who can't RECALL so easily; who are intelligent but not always conventionally "academically gifted", in teaching. My Gran is admittedly biased (teacher who retired but refuses to stop teaching) but she thinks my vocation is in teaching - and for all the above reasons.

The world could use a few less paediatric bureaucrats with a passion for physics; exceptional though they are at the craft of marks-improvement. Instead, in my opinion, the world needs a few more physicists with a passion for teaching - their students end up with more brilliance than efficiency; and if they choose to stay in their field, they'll end up with more satisfaction for the same productivity.

[sorrowandpride]

I'll start this off by saying that I'm a woman who's studied ballet for pretty much her entire life. When I was a child, I had teachers who wanted to train me professionally with the goal of training at Canada's National Ballet School in mind, so I think I know what I'm talking about.

I recently learned about the Sophie Rebecca controversy, and it's absolutely disgusting. The transphobes who are screeching and clutching their pearls over Sophie taking syllabus classes with the RAD are absolutely ridiculous. They're the only ones who are embarrassing themselves by speaking on something they know nothing about (from what I've read, they can't even spell "pointe" properly).

I'll clear a few things up regarding ballet that transphobes are consistently getting wrong.

Ballet is not a single-sex space, so stop clutching your pearls. It may be XX female-dominated, but danseurs have been integral to the discipline since its creation. Believe it or not, danseurs can and do teach female students (and vice versa). Members of the male sex have even danced female roles (Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, for example, is an all-male drag troupe that performs parodies of romantic and classical ballets).

Sophie is taking RAD syllabus classes. These are simply classes that build skill in ballet (as well as other forms of dance, such as character). While syllabus classes and exams are part of professional training, most syllabus students are recreational dancers. Sophie is too old to pursue a conventional career as a danseuse, and many dancers retire at her age. The amount of schools that would accept her into a professional program that feeds into a major company are close to, if not zero. Nobody "lost a spot" to her. As long as they can pay the fees, anybody can take RAD syllabus classes and exams. They give you a sense of achievement and track measurable progress. The RAD has defended Sophie Rebecca and stated publicly that she is NOT a professional danseuse. As far as I'm aware, her highest level of completion is Intermediate Foundation. If I remember correctly, Intermediate Foundation exams don't even include pointework (since ballet is, you know, far more than pointework). No serious company is going to hire a student who's only reached Intermediate-level classes, and very, very, very few will a hire a danseuse who's not proficient in pointework. All she's doing is showing a love for adult recreational ballet. That's it. She's not taking anything away from XX girls. Ballet is open to EVERYONE, not just pale, skinny XX women.

[diaryofalinguist]

Info

About me/Über mich/Acerca de mí:

- Val

- 19 (01/04/2005)

- UK

- They/she - sie/ihr - ella

- B2 Deutsch

- A2-B1 Español (no estoy segura)

Additional information below/Weitere Informationen weiter unten/Información adicional aquí abajo

For the purpose of practicality, I'll write this in English for now, as it'll be the most universally understood:

My name is Val, I'm 19, I'm from the UK so my native language is English, and I'm currently awaiting decisions from universities in order to study foreign languages. I'm hoping to study German and Japanese as part of my university course, while also taking advantage of university wide language programmes to begin learning Russian. I had about a year of dedicated Japanese study when I was around 12, and I remember a lot of the basics, but nothing meaningful enough to post here or probably even classify as A1, however I can read hiragana and katakana fairly well to this day.

My interest in languages has been an integral part of my life as far back as my memory reaches. Before the age of ten, a family friend conducted at home French lessons with me. I'd say when I got to secondary school and was put into French and German classes my enthusiasm really blossomed. I was pulled out of school at the age of 11 to be homeschooled, and filled the majority of my time independently teaching myself Japanese. I slowly came to a point of being able to have an incredibly basic conversation with others before being placed back into traditional schooling and losing the free time I had for Japanese, and my studying fizzled out.

When I returned to school, I chose German as a GCSE. Despite being behind, I quickly caught up. By halfway through year 10, though, Covid was at its peak, and due to my school's safety measures combined with my mum being high risk, I was pulled out of school yet again. I later returned to do my A-levels there, having no GCSEs or formal exam experience whatsoever. This was when I chose German as an A-Level. Despite these various setbacks, I achieved a high grade I'm incredibly proud of. I'm now completing a voluntary 3rd year of college in order to complete an AS course I began last year as a full A-level. From September this year, I've had the opportunity to join my German teacher's year 11 GCSE Spanish class and will be taking the exam at the end of the year. My only prior experience with the language was the studying I began in June in order to prepare for joining the class. Since October I've also been asked to assist my German teachers in their lower year classes as a voluntary teaching assistant, an opportunity which I'm elated over.

I'm currently hoping to be able to become a language teacher in the future, even likely abroad. I'd eventually like to get a TEFL/TESOL qualification for this as well and gain the opportunity to teach my native language as a foreign one in another country. I'm quite sold on this idea, and I've wanted to be a teacher since I was 8, but I'm still keeping my options open to the idea of translation as well as any other job ideas and opportunities that might strike me in the next few years. As long as I get to engage with foreign languages day to day, I'm interested.

[delicris]

school vent post MWAH

anywaysss... basically, i'm in my final year of "high school" (in quotation marks because i could go on for hours about the czech school system and how it's different from the rest, but no one needs to listen to all that, so i'm calling it high school just so you get the broad idea of where i'm at in my studies) and we choose four seminars and then we take a school-leaving exam based on those chosen seminars. czech is mandatory, then you choose between maths and a second language and the rest of the four are completely up to you. for those i chose biology and geography... i've just gotten home from my first geography lesson and there's... so. much.

but there's already so much to cover in that bio seminar, people always advise you to NOT take it, if you don't want to study biology, or you don't need it for an entrance exam to uni, but i DO need it, so i had to choose it. and i love geo and i'm not much interested in any of the other seminars, so obviously i chose geo as the second one, but i had no fucking idea it would be just as bad, if not fucking worse

we have to teach three lessons in the entire year, which isn't even a full year, and you have to make three different forty-minute presentations to base the lessons of... for bio, you only do this ONCE.

there are obviously tests on the orientation on the map, but there are sometimes over 200 places you have to learn, sixteen of which are actually on the test. and you get eighteen of these tests in total, but each time it's a different set of places

and then there are the exams from the stuff your classmates have had presentations on + the geo basics, which make up five topics that are covered in these exams, but that's a shit ton of materials to learn for a single fucking exam you take several times in that one year

AND I DON'T EVEN NEED GEOGRAPHY FOR UNI, YES IT DOES TIE INTO BIO, BUT I. DON'T. NEED IT.

and i forgot the tests on orientation in media, where you're quizzed on the news of the week. every week. i hate the news, i hate keeping up with it, i find it so fucking boring etc etc

but that isn't all... i'm so fucking stupid that i decided to take up sing language because it's a program from our school, so i don't have to commute somewhere, i just go into a different building, BUT THAT'S TWO MORE CLASSES, WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??

+ i tutor every week, i'm trying to finish getting my driver's licence and i need to start going to the gym to prepare for my entrance exam to uni because they test your physical abilities as well...

maybe this sounds pretty tame to someone, but i've always had a lot of free time to just sit down and do whatever i wanted and now i've been thrown into this whirlwind and i don't know what to do, i've never had to consider my timetable to make plans, i've always had enough time to study and prepare for any exam, but still get an opportunity to just exist... but i feel like i won't be able to have that now and i don't think i'll handle it well

every teacher expects us to always be prepared, to care about their subject, to make time to learn it all and manage all this, but i just... i know i won't be able to, i know that at some point it'll get bad because i don't fucking know how to organize shit, how to be productive, social and mindful of my needs while staying fucking sane

this will be a hell of a year and i can't wait for it to be over already