#and idk why! what they are saying isn’t even necessarily sad

[kuiinncedes]

casually spent like almost 6 hours total at glowstick club practice XD

[mimez-meme]

Defending hizashi chapter 420 (spoilers!)

(Please bear with me I’m not exactly amazing with my words or explaining but I tried, some of the points in here would have been mentioned before/talked about before)

Look im not saying what happened in chapter 420 didn’t annoy me a bit, like i was a bit angry at hizashi. But you gotta remember he has reasons for why he acted that way and it isn’t necessarily his fault? Idk

This man has been bottling up all his emotions for 15 years or more. Taking aizawa’s life way more serious then his, he wants to be aizawa’s protecter and make sure he finds happiness. He would do anything to make sure he gets that. (He also doesn’t view himself as a person he views himself as a third person if that makes sense) His reactions in 420 is a good example of what bottling up emotions can do to you, it can make you loose control when faced with those emotions, which is basically what happened.

Present mic CANNOT cope or deal with his emotions, half the time I doubt he knows how he actually feels He uses aizawa as a way to distract himself from the grief and his emotions, as he understands shota’s, and when aizawa is around he focus’s on him, not himself. When it’s just him, he will do anything to take his mind off his feelings by overworking, drinking ect. Now along with bottling up all his emotions he’s buried oboro, well not fully. He clearly isn’t over him but he’s trying to be for aizawa. He’s trying to get over his trauma. Because he’s built up all these emotions, made this persona, buried deep all his traumas and then being forced to face the worse trauma caused him to snap, beacuse he doesn’t want this, this isn’t how things were meant to be. He’s lost the patience to just move on, leading him to be violent and aggressive. Even aizawa was shocked when he snapped and told him to shut up and calm down in the car scene whatever. being forced to face him again clearly had an massive affect on him and he’s still trying to reject the fact that oboro could possibly be a villian cuz in his eyes villains don’t deserve to be forgiven they are horrible humans and don’t deserve second chances and he doesn’t want to believe his best friend who talked and told him about the ways and how they’re all going to be heros together, be a villain. Facing oboro once more has made all his emotions spark and like mentioned he cannot deal with that. Whenever he starts to show vulnerability he instead starts to act angry to cover up his true emotions with anger Because it’s better then being ‘weak’ and showing vulnerability infront of aizawa or others. His bottled emotions also seemed to of bottled up into anger, which is once more a common thing for those who bottle up emotions. Clearly hizashi is upset and hurt by all this but he refuses to show it. Now onto actually discussing chapter 420, killing kurogiri to hizashi is the only escape, only way to stop all these emotions, in this chapter he’s crying. And aizawa ‘points it out’ and when he does he responds with ‘I’m a man, men don’t cry!” However he doesn’t actually believe that he just thinks HE can’t cry because we see present mic attempt to comfort aizawa when he’s sad, he even punched the fucking doctor for making him cry. He wouldn’t do that if he thought MEN couldn’t cry. However it turns out aizawa wasn’t even talking about hizashi he was talking about Oboro/kurogiri, beacuse he’s crying. I’m sorry but it kinda felt like aizawa was ignoring hizashi then, and aizawa has never really acknowledged how hizashi really feels beacuse to him hizashi hasn’t changed all these years but to us we see obvious changes. (He said that in my hero justice 2)

Hizashi is facing so many emotions at once and like I said he CANNOT cope or deal with it, he has no distractions, it’s oboro and facing him again that’s making all his emotions spark, if your someone who’s bottled up their emotions for years and then one day your hit with a wave of them, and they suddenly they all come out whatever you will not know what to do. Hizashi is scared, angry, upset ect ect, it’s causing him to be violent. He wants aizawa to be happy, and safe but he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to kill oboro he wants to kill kurogiri but he knows kurogiri is oboro but he’s in denial. He doesn’t want to see Oboro has this villain but he knows deep down it’s true. (Now I’m talking about a different chapter, I forgot what one) When kurogiri dies/goes to save shigaraki we see zashi crying, he even said “thanks bud” when kurogiri opened a Portal for him to go to the battle field. At his point we see that hizashi seems to of finally came with terms of kurogiri being oboro but obviously he dies, if hizashi really wanted kurogiri dead he wouldn’t have cried? If that makes sense he wanted to save him like aizawa. Now beacuse kurogiri is dead present mic is going to have to carry MORE guilt probably more guilt then aizawa.

I still don’t think that was everything tho/ all his emotions. Like just think about how powerful zashi is, I think he was still holding back. Because he has been bottling them up for 15 years so there’s no way that’s everything. Yk?

His reaction was valid and in character for him.

The moment he shows emotions people hate him, like come on guys, Be so fucking fr. Like present mic is angry at himself, the villians ect. He couldn’t protect his friends, it was the villians who did this.

Thanks for reading!! And sorry if any mistakes or if some of it doesn’t make sense😓

‼️oh yeah he also has the black and white mindset and that’s believed to maybe be another trauma response‼️

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 46:

Spoilers y’all! Also this one is REALLY long. And. Uh. Yeah.

Oh shit the Jabberwock figure!!! Is this the sword that the Campestri were talking about?

Blue vs red roses…….

Given that this is possibly the Palace/Kingdom of Heart’s Desire, maybe the blue represents the allies of Zybilna and the red represents the hags (or maybe opposite bc the temple seems to be of the hags—-idk)

Is the Jabberwock hag-aligned? Or is it kinda doing it’s own thing

TORBEK AND THE HOSES

Gricko and Frost go trick or treating w hootsie!!!

FROST GLASSES MOMENT LETS GO

“Gideon chooses not to read. Torbek can’t read. We are not the same.”

Love that Gricko gaslit Gideon into pulling the sword out of the stone and he didn’t even have to try to get him to do it

Also love how Nikkie’s immediate idea is “let’s rip the page out of the expensive book”

“Gideon’s trying to vandalize private property” “That has NEVER been a problem for you before” “…We’ll talk about this afterwards.”

Oooh cool sword

Guys what do you think “galumphing” is—- there we go

“I don’t know if we count— we’re friends!” “They’ve seen you masturbate many times.” OH

At the jabberwock fighting arena. Straight up “galumphing” it. And by it. Well. Let’s juts say. My blade

Ohh wait maybe the roses thing is who can get to the Jabberwock first

JABBERWOCK DEEZ NUTS AND GRICKO IS CRYING

IT. ITS GALUMPHING. WOW

He can’t galumph 😭😭

“WELL GET UP HERE AND HELP ME GALUMPH!!!” I AM GOING TO CHOKE

How many nat20s can Mace get

Oh shit!!! I think the blue petals was right!! It was an accident but still right

Love Gricko’s parental moments w Hootsie. I live for that

Oh it’s just some kid’s room

SHE HAS THE KREMY KNIGHT ATOP GID’S STEED AND THE GID KNIGHT ATOP KREMY’S

What if this girl is like Fate? Like she’s controlling the story as she plays with her toys

If she is fate and those two steeds are switched then I will be very happy

Hey leave Derek alone yes the connection is laid out but it’s a lot of info chill

OHHHHH FUCK THE LITTLE PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!! YEP OKAY SO SHES PLAYING THE STORY AS IT GOES—- so who’s Grandmother??? Can’t be Zybilna as she’s asleep and locked away, id be so shocked if it was something like Baba Yaga

BUHBUHBUH WHAT IF THE CHILD IS ZYBILNA OMGOMGOMGOMGOMFOMG

Grandmother brought her into the tower because she says it’s not safe. The child doesn’t know what’s outside the tower. The child says it’s not wise to say her name and that Grandmother says she is very powerful “even for her age.” Zybilna is stuck in time— I thought that meant she was trapped in slowed time but maybe she’s trapped in eternal childhood? That makes so much sense. Oh my god.

I’m convinced this child is Zybilna

THERES A SNAKE IN TORBEK’S BOOT. Very sad that Andy isn’t going the Toy Story route tho.

GRICKO IS A CLOWN. GRICKO IS A CLOWN. MIKEY IS BACK IN HIS ELEMENT. CHUCKLES RETURNS.

Why does Zybilna like the Jabberwock? Or whatever it was before? What was it before?? WHO IS THE PRINCE ACTUALLY??? And why can they not work without each other if the party is here now???

I am also scared rn. What if they never turn back.

DEREK BEING A MIME IS SO PERFECT

Loving Derek’s mimings

YES RICH IS GOING THE TOY STORY ROUTE

BRETT IS BACK

“Do you have your Mojo Dojo Casa House?” “Well let’s find out— can you open your ass?”

Ohh is the Prince the King of Hearts??? That would make sense

HER TWIG PUPPET??? And the roses are bad????

NOT THE ELABORATION ON THE POTATO TOY ASS STORAGE

“There ain’t no eyeballs in this ass!”

“You cannot see that boy anymore, T— I mean, Morgana” WHAT IS THE NAME YOU WERE GOING TO SAY??? If it’s Titania then I’m so wrong about everything

WHAT IF THIS CHILD IS THE BABY SISTER OF THE HAGS?????? Didn’t they say that the baby’s name is Tasha or something?? So why is she aligned with the Prince and, presumably, Zybilna??? DOES THIS MEAN THE GRANDMOTHER IS THE ENTITY IN THE HUT?????????????????????

Yup. Yup yup yup. So she’s not necessarily with Zybilna, just anti-Jabberwock for some reason. Why????

Well this is giving me some ideas

“Twig belongs to herself. Get rekt.”

“If anything happens to Twig, you will all pay the price.” Uh oh. Something’s gonna happen to Twig again.

OH THEYRE IN AN HOURGLASS. HOLY FUCK

also what if Zybilna and the fourth sister are the same? I think that might be not possible given timelines but still

HOLY FUCK IS THIS BABA YAGA????? (I’m very latched into this Baba Yaga thing but I think it’s right unless there’s someone else who fits the Time narrative better)

THE JABBERWOCK IS HERE

Mace save your 20s!!!!!

Shit man I gotta go to sleep

OH FUCK FROST DOWN

This is gonna be a TPK unless y’all run NOW

Gideon please use your fancy dagger

YUP CALLED IT IT WANTS THE KING OF HEARTS’ CHESS PIECES

GUYS PLEASE CONSIDER MULTICLASSING INTO CLERICS AND OR PALADINS AND OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN HEAL

Frost is being iconic rn

ARENT JABBERWOCKS A DRAGON LIKE FEY CREATURE???!??!!???!

Okay so Gideon is dead! Great!! Nikkie what’s your rule on taking damage beyond your death points??

THIS THING DOES SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

You guys are not defeating this thing I’m so sorry

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Oh my god. Gideon is dead. Like actually dead. Kremy is down. And Gricko told Hootsie to run. I’m sure he’ll catch up soon. Surely.

Nikkie what the fuck??!?!?! Why would you dread that???? Genuinely this thing is too much for these guys what the fuck is your plan

Oh my god Kremy is going to die

What possibly could they have done to get out of this????? The thing has tracking abilities they were fucked either way—- the only possible way to get out of this thing would be to get rid of the chess pieces quickly but NIKKIE KEPT DREADING THE GODDAMN INT AND PERCEPTION CHECKS

FUCK KREMY IS DEAD. KREMY AND GIDEON ARE DEAD.

They’re not. They’re not getting out of this. They’re all dead.

There’s gotta be a reason Nikkie is going so viciously at this. There’s gotta be some sort of catch or save. Please let there be some sort of save. Please. Please. This has gotta be some sort of nightmare. Please let this just be a nightmare. Please. Please. Please.

Fuck this is literally Frost’s nightmare. This is exactly the situation he saw in the Tunnel of Terror. All his friends are dying and there’s nothing he can do about it. Also that is my nightmare specifically

NOT HOOTISE. COME ON NIKKIE. NOT HOOTSIE.

This has to be a nightmare! Or some sort of dread vision!!!! They’re all gonna wake up at the end of the session and be fine!!!!!!!!

There’s no way that the Jabberwock just comes out and ends then. I know it’s totally powerful enough to do that but there’s so much story left.

Okay. Okay no. No one woke up. There was no dream. No nightmare. No thankful awakening. They’re dead.

I’m still going to hold out hope.

[oncemorewithqueering]

twin peaks sexuality headcanons

warning: very long

my god do I have THINGS to say about this show and 99 of them are about albert

so I thought before my feed is entirely twin peaks, I’d give my thoughts on the Outrageous Gay Tension of this show with some context

also ignore my handwriting, I’m very sick at the moment and have taken a lot of paracetamol (be more responsible than me kids)

spoilers for all 3 seasons, sorry

DALE COOPER

he/him

transmasc (FTM)

bisexual

listen. listen. trucoop is real rosencoop is real it’s all real. i love coop more than i can describe (which is weird considering I’m gay) and i heavily head cannoned him as trans and bi the second he drove onto my screen. i think he’d prefer men but women are also his cup of tea, or coffee rather. anyway he deserved better and he deserved to give Harry a little kiss.

HARRY TRUMAN

he/him

cisgender male

bisexual

i originally would have said Harry was gay, but I’m not a big fan of relationship erasure. yes, he is with josie. that’s why he’s bi.

i think Harry would have had a crush on some guys at school but would have bottled it down, until coop came to town, and he suddenly had a gay crisis. if i had to pinpoint a moment, i would say his initial realisation would have been when coop steals his nose (best scene) and he would have come to terms with it by the end of season 1.

even harry is not immune to the eyes of Dale cooper.

LAURA PALMER

she/they

cisgender female (but questioning her identity)

biromantic lesbian

first up, I’d like to give my consolidation to Laura palmer and anyone who may be reading who ever experienced something like her. she is my favourite character, apart from Coop Harry and Audrey, and i think she deserved so much better. PERSONALLY i think she and Donna had a very strong emotional romance but not necessarily a physical one. i think that her experiences with men caused her to do a big ol’ comphet and assume she liked being intimate with men. in reality, i think she wasn’t actually attracted to them but was doing it, alongside all the canon reasons, to reject her feelings to women.

and James happened, i guess.

DONNA HAYWARD

she/they

demigirl

homoflexible

idk whether i just see my identity in donna, but i think she definitely isn’t 100% female. i can’t explain it at all, but i just get the vibe.

as for her sexuality, obviously she and Laura had their thing, but i think her romantic tension with literally all. the. female. characters. initially made me think she was a lesbian. but, we have the James factor.

fucking James (my reaction whenever he is onscreen btw)

i think that her emotional intimacy to Laura would have naturally led her to the other emotionally intimate person in Laura’s life. i think James is the closest thing she has to Laura left, which is so sad. i love donna, idc what the widely accepted opinion is. i believe the ‘Just You’ song scene is her grappling with her feeling with maddy. i mean tbh if my girlfriend died and then her identical twin came back, i would probably be weird about it too.

AUDREY HORNE

she/they

trans femme (MTF) (i couldn’t fit it on the picture sorry)

biromantic demisexual

AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY AUDREY MY BELOVED

when i tell you i came out of twin peaks 15% gayer it is BECAUSE OF THIS GIRL. i love her storylines, her dialogue, her friendship with coop. it all feels so realistic! and her dancing!

back to the sexuality and gender thing, which is what this post is about, i personally believe her crush on coop came from a place of seeing a happy trans person comfortable in their identity and finding that beautiful. then translating that to love.

as for being biromantic, c’mon. donna and her definitely had a thing going for a bit. her demi sexuality comes from a place of her extreme discomfort in sex work (which is valid if you aren’t demisexual, by the way, but combined with her virginity until she forms a meaningful connection, the pieces fell into place for me. yes i am also demisexual and yes i am totally biased.)

ALBERT ROSENIFELD

he/him (because he is Him)

trans masc (FTM)

gay as fuck

“I love you, sheriff Truman”

I’m sorry??? excuse me?

albert is gay in so many ways it’s not even funny. with coop. with Harry. with gordon in season 3. and my trans headcanon? idk i just sort of vibed with it. normalise head canonning people as gay or trans with no reason.

also i love the idea that Denise, Albert and coop are just a group of trans fbi agents. we already have Mulder from the x files we need more (tell me if you want an x files version of this)

GORDON COLE

he/him

cisgender male

bicurious

i honestly can’t tell if David lynch would curse me for this post or just shrug it off

anyway. gordon didn’t strike me as being particularly fruity until season 3, when he had his whole trans power speech and those weirdly domestic scenes with albert. like, pop off little fbi husbands. i think he’s still working through period-typical biphobia and isn’t ready to say he’s bi. but i think with time he will be.

someone needs to take me away from this show for like a week and sit me down with some literature. I’d just gay headcanon it anyway (looking at you Sherlock Holmes)

BOBBY BRIGGS

they/he

demiboy

bisexual

the more i watch this show, the more i think to myself…”Bobby is…me?” idk whether it’s dana ashbrook’s truly unhinged and amazing performance, the weird nervous gay energy and the lack of masculinity for a character who would normally be obnoxiously masculine. i love him so much.

i think Bobby would struggle in the gender norms of being the child of a military man. and the sexuality norms of being the “bad boy” in school. i firmly believe that he is bisexual, because let’s face it, everyone in this godforsaken show is bi. find me ONE straight character. ONE STRAIGHT.

SHELLY JOHNSON

she/her

cisgender female

heteroflexible and demisexual

SHELLY IS A LITTLE BIT GAY BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD AS I WAS WATCHING THIS I WAS THIS CLOSE (HOLDS FINGERS TOGETHER) TO KISSING MY TV SCREEN.

shelly seems like the sort of person to have been raised with certain heteronormative values. but, i think after going out with Bobby, i think she’d have a little sit and think and say “huh maybe i would kiss a girl.” she hasn’t, yet, but that’s just because her crushes so far have been on men. if she met the right girl, she would.

i think her demisexuality comes partly from trauma and also because we need something in common because, if i haven’t made it clear, i LOVE HER.

HAWK

he/him

cisgender male

gay

don’t be lying about that poetry being for your girlfriend hawk. this is the only character where i will defy canon, fold my arms and say no. i love that hawk got a bigger role in season 3, and i think that based off all i know about him (being the best character) i would headcanon him as being gay. why? idk. look at him?

hawk would totally just rock up one day with a guy on his arm, no explanation, and say nothing until Lucy stumbled into asking him about this guy. and he’d just be like “oh this is my husband. yeah we’ve been married for 6 years. you were at the wedding, we just didn’t tell you it was a wedding.”

iconic.

also i had hair envy the entire show, i wish that when i straightened my hair it was that luxurious.

LUCY BRENNAN

she/her

cisgender female

bisexual

I’m sorry Lucy, no one is THAT frazzled and not sapphic. it’s a rule.

i feel like Lucy would consider herself straight until she was taught about the internet, got a Facebook account, and promptly shut it down, but before doing that saw the word ‘bisexual’ and felt weirdly drawn to it. Andy was, of course, super supportive if a little confused. she’s still figuring it out.

i feel like she’d wear sweaters in the bisexual colours and be very happy whenever someone noticed.

ANDY BRENNAN

he/him

cisgender male

straight ally (but not really)

Andy is straight, but like more in a straight with a question mark way. maybe if he hadn’t dated Lucy, maybe if they hadn’t fallen in love, he would have caught feelings for a guy. after Lucy came out, he did some thinking, but decided to keep it to himself. who knows, maybe his tulpa is “kinda gay” (obligatory Buffy reference)

WE ARE DONE LADIES AND GENTS AND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT EITHER BUT STILL HIGHLY ESTEEMED.

so, thoughts? I’m gonna do a part two with the season 3 exclusive characters, and some characters i forgot, like Norma, ed, Hank, josie, James….and Wyndam Earl. OH and Denise

thank you so much for bearing with me, and love y’all 🫶

(not as much as I’ll ever love Shelly)

[caspersickfanfics]

*busts door open* IM BACK

I’m not gonna be too weird about this but- ironically- today was a day of much crying, and from that I was re-reminded of few things that got me thinking about the other nights rants so I have just a few more considerations~

again- not necessarily a fit for the current fic situation BUT. Types of crying. I feel like Cyno really doesn’t cry much at all. And maybe this was a given lol but I wanna talk about it anyways 😭

He’s just that kind of person and I feel like that tracks with canon. Even if he isn’t bottling up emotions, like if he’s sad and he’s letting himself feel sad, even then he may not cry that much. but if he is crying- or sobbing due to fever-addled hysteria- it’s him doing everything he can to keep it quite. Like muffled sobs, or just tears spilling uncontrollably, and so much, sniffing. That kind of crying you get when you just can’t stop crying even if you really want too. Maybe because it’s so stifled it lands in his body, so he’s stiff, or hunched or shaking a little. And! I feel like it’s so much easier to slip into hyper ventilation when you’re not breathing cuz you’re trying to hold back tears.

I think under Tighnaris care and comfort he’d be a bit more vocal? Maybe? Or!! Or when it gets really bad and he can no longer help it that’s when his sobs sound like, well, sobs. And that’s new territory for nari and cyno both. I think Tighnari would need some serious comfort after all this himself because it’s scary seeing your partner in so much distress even if you know they are okay and kinda just out of it.

I think cyno would try really really hard to communicate well, but he’s struggling cuz he’s sick enough and emotional enough that he’s not quite making the most sense? He’s stumbling over his words and he’s not quite sure how to explain what hurts and in what way- But he knows that he’s worrying nari and so he’ll try his damndest to make sense, and at the very least be honest. Maybe not at first but once they settle into his recovery I think he’d try 🥺

I also was thinking about more comical things Cyno would get upset over? Idk if it’s the vibe at all lol, but if his fever is high enough or if say the meds he’s on add to the loopy ness, I can picture him being very very distraught over just how *pretty* nari is. Maybe not full on crying but I can see him just starting and pouting cuz his partner is just…too perfect??? And if anything happened to him what would he do??? His EARS!! They are so soft- and he falls apart

idk these aren’t as fun as the ones from the other day but oh well lol 😑

WELCOME BACK AHH!!! I'm sorry you had a crying day and I'm sorry to post this so late when you sent it ages ago!!!!!!!! I hope you're feeling better now and if not, I'm sending you all the hugs!!!

This ask has me in a chokehold because I do think about characters crying a lot and I agree with you I don't think Cyno cries much at all. Even though I want to make him cry all the time LOL. Honestly though him and Tighnari both, especially in the canon world, I really have trouble picturing them crying.

100% agree that Cyno would be pretty quiet. My instinct was that he cries without realizing it and that's why he's quiet but I am now obsessed with your (paraphrased) "he is quiet on purpose which can lead to hyperventilating" like. Yes. And that progression to sobbing is really intriguing, definitely seems like something I'd like to explore if I can work it in somewhere!!!

I also headcanon Cyno as being very honest with Tighnari! I could see him downplaying stuff unintentionally - like, he's always a little banged up, so he brushes off discomfort without a second thought sometimes. And he might initially resist Tighnari urging him to look a bit more closely at that, but he'll cave eventually.

I also could definitely see Tighnari having a hard time with Cyno really crying, depending on the situation............ and at the same time I could see him actually being reassured by it. Like, finally, Cyno's letting himself being completely open. Finally he's letting himself be honest and feel things fully. But also Tighnari is going to frequently check his temperature to make sure it's not gotten to a dangerous place to be causing this. And freaking!! Absolutely to Cyno crying over how pretty Nari is and how much he loves his ears/tail/claws/etc. Maybe apologizing for "springing Collei on him" all those years ago and Tighnari is laughing because, like, he adores Collei and is so glad Cyno brought her to him.

I've also been thinking about Tighnari and crying. I picture him as a nonchalant but infrequent crier. Maybe some anxious/frustrated crying in extreme situations, but generally if things aren't going well, he compartmentalizes to figure out a solution. If something is upsetting to him and it's really shocking, maybe he'll shed a few tears without realizing, but then he'll wipe them away and do what needs to be done. If he's in a lot of pain, he'll cry but be really reassuring ("It just hurts a little, don't worry. Could you possibly help wrap this? My hands are a bit unsteady" tears running down his face) to anyone who's around the whole time, while treating his injury if he can. And... I think if he finds out someone he really cares about had something bad happen to them, he'd respond with rage. Even, like, Collei with her Eleazar - if anything worse had happened to her, I don't think his initial response would've been to cry. It would've been "I'm going to fucking murder who or what ever caused this disease." And then when things calm down he'd go to his hut, hide under the covers, curl up into a ball and sob.

Hm. I dunno if you've picked up on this by how much I wrote but. Personally..... I think this was just as fun as your previous asks sdjkfsdjksfj thank you so much for sending ittttt ily <333

[mytragedyperson]

Thoughts I had while reading TCF/LCF chapter 16

Quick note before I begin – the reason I call it TCF and not LCF is because that’s technically what I’m reading. I’m currently reading it on EAP. If there’s an official English version I can read feel free to point me in the direction of it but, since TCF is what it’s called on the site I’m reading it on, that’s probably what I’ll refer to it as. If this is a problem, please feel free to unfollow or block my posts but I don’t really refer to the book’s name at all in the actual posts though I do use names like Beacrox and stuff. I’m hoping this isn’t a huge problem for anyone, but I just thought I’d put that out there. This applies to all posts I make about TCF so I won’t repeat myself. As far as I know, there is no official translation, and it feels slightly wrong to use LCF because that’s not what the version I’m reading is called. This probably won’t change unless there’s an official English version. Just wanted to put this out there for those who care about this. Without further ado, I present to you, my thoughts

That right there, Cale’s “who will go if I don’t” perfectly sums up this character and why he does the things he does. Why does he mess with the white star so much? Who will if he doesn’t? why does he loot so many places? Who will if he doesn’t? why does he save so many people? Who will if he doesn’t? that might actually be one of the most consistent parts of his character. He does these things because, if he doesn’t, who will? No one else is gonna save the Black Dragon, or Paseton. They might try, if they knew but they don’t. so who will if he doesn’t? no one. And that’s not acceptable to him. This isn’t to say he’s the only one who would or could help people, just that, in most situations, he’s the only one who can.

And Venion is officially present. Wish he wasn’t but he is.

The fact that this utter waste of oxygen is considered a typical, authoritative noble is really sad. No wonder their world is doomed if this is a typical noble.

I feel like most villains are at least slightly smarter than Venion, honestly. Maybe not necessarily in this novel, idk about that, but villains in general. Most of them would know not to try and tame a dragon. I feel like that’s pretty basic common sense. You know what, yes, even the villains in this novel are probably slightly smarter at least. Even the bandits I was making fun of last chapter were smarter, though not by much. They had no way of knowing this carriage belonged to a noble travelling with a Choi Han and an assassin and a torture expert. Usually having the numbers game is an advantage. But my point is they didn’t know these things. Marquis Stan and Venion know this is a dragon, that’s the whole point. That makes them a lot dumber than the poor bandits who just chose the wrong carriage on the wrong day, imo.

One thing I do admire about Cale is his patience and ability to keep a calm ead even in front of something like Venion. I can’t call whatever he is a human, but calling him garbage or even human garbage is an insult to garbage and, considering OG Cale is supposed to be considered trash, that just feels more wrong. So Venion is a lot worse than living garbage, but calling him a monster feels like giving him more credit than he deserves and also is offensive to monsters so idk what he is. Also can we just think for a second about the fact that, in this novel, in this world, someone who drinks a lot and trashes places, has a worse reputation than the people torturing a baby dragon and watching it for amusement. Now, I know they’re not exactly adverting that fact but most people know he crippled (am I allowed to say that? Is there a better term? Idk, sorry) his older brother, and yet somehow more people hate or look down on OG Cale than Venion. Again showing that the typical nobles have some serious issue and skewed perspectives and priorities. You can do a horrible thing and everyone know you were responsible but, as long as you have status, power and appear like a normal noble, well, that’s just how it is. All this to say fuck Venion Stan, Marquis Stan and anyone who allies with him. Taylor is the only good person in that family and idc what anyone says about that.

Also I know the man was tortured but I don’t remember Choi Han punching him, and if Choi Han didn’t punch him, I think he should have, as a treat. He deserves it. Both of them do.

And nobles are supposed to have class and care for their people. I guess we’ve both been disappointed today. If someone has clearly fallen and you can see that, you stop. Get your head out of Venion’s ass. You can kiss it all you want, he’s still not going to respect you. sorry, I know he’s like a servant or something but that doesn’t make what he’s saying less asshole-ish. This is why we don’t associate with Venion. We become assholes if we do.

Also I know this isn’t the time but can we just take a second, before Venion or his lackey piss me off again, to admire this relationship, dare I say friendship, between Hans and Choi Han. The way he cares for him and doesn’t want him to get in trouble. I feel like Hans is definitely cheering him on on the inside and agrees with him but can’t say anything due to being a servant for the Henituse family. Hans and Choi Han friendship. I wish we saw more of this. I hope we do as the novel goes on, even if it's just a little. I want them to be besties. Idek why.

You know, I feel like it would be so easy for people to look at Hans and just see him as dumb or something but he’s not. It’s not his fault no one tells him anything. He actually has a decent amount of knowledge on things, like the noble families and what he says about the rock towers and stuff. He’s not dumb, he’s just working with the information he has.

So they were trying to get Choi Han in trouble, right? And it probably would’ve worked, except Cale saw everything and is a generally good person so agrees with Choi Han’s actions… except doesn’t this look worse for Venion? Like, another noble, and someone travelling with that noble, who is known for being trash, shows more care and compassion for this guy than Venion. It definitely reflects badly on the Tolz family, or at least it should, that a noble from another territory, who is known for being trash, is kinder and less intimidating and cares more about your people than you do. Like, I know this is unlikely but I feel like, if ever this bar/inn owner heard someone talk trash about Cale he’d be like idk he isn’t that bad. You know he actually stayed here once, one of his guards saved my life, and would kinda defend him a little, but he wouldn’t do that for Tolz. If a good way to tell what nobles are like is to look at how people in their territory act, then the fact this guy wouldn’t defend Venion or Tolz from criticism but arguably would defend Cale says more about Venion and Tolz than anything really. Especially after Cale becomes Young Master Silver Shield.

I may be wrong but this is the first time we see Cale actually mad/genuinely annoyed by someone right? For all he says Hans annoys him, he’s actually never seemed particularly annoyed at Hans. And everyone/everything else he’s been more surprised or scared than mad. He wasn’t even annoyed when he was brought to this world. On one hand I get it, I’m angry at Venion too. I just think it’s interesting to note.

Cale really thinks about everyone, even this old man.

Idk why but Something about Cale right now, the way he tells Choi Han to calm doen is so attractive to me. Maybe it’s how calm and level headed he is, maybe it’s how in control he seems. Idk. Also not important but in my head I don’t see red haired Cale Henituse, I see black haired KRS and idk why.

You know who I think of when I remember Venion? Years ago, when I first got Facebook I’d stumble across photos of like hunters posing with animals they’d just killed and looking so proud of themselves, and it always just filled me with anger and confusion. Like, I’m not a vegetarian or vegan but something about that just seemed so wrong to me. Venion reminds me of a worse version of those people. So pleased to see an innocent animal hurt and proud of themselves for having something to do with it.

When I tell you that reading this man’s torture/punishment scene will be so satisfying to me. He deserves so much worse than he got.

No he stole the carriage. He’s never even heard of Count Henituse. And those knights are paid actors. Why do people insist on asking obvious questions? To start conversation? There must be a better conversation starter than that. Honesetly how Cale hasn’t rolled his eyes at this amazes me. He doesn’t even think the sarcastic thing. I simply couldn’t do that.

I think Venion has bigger problems than being rude.

It makes sense that most people would just naturally be disgusted by him actually. Humans in general typically have fairly good instincts. We can kind of sense when others are terrible human beings. Obviously it isn’t perfect but it is there. The people who follow him probably either fear him or are just as terrible but if most people hate him, it’s probably not just because he’s rude. Venion would probably be too arrogant to pretend to be someone he’s not, so his bad traits would be fairly obvious and I think, when someone is this horrible, they can’t fully hide it anyway. He may not be advertising the Black Dragon thing but there is so much wrong with him and he has so many bad traits it would be impossible to hide them fully, if he even bothered to in the first place.

I don’t get how he’s convinced himself any version of Cale is somehow worse than him. The worst thing OG Cale did was probably what he said to Choi Han, that didn’t happen this time, so the worst he’s done is get drunk and trash some bars and shops. Meanwhile Venion has permanently injured and plans to murder his older brother, and is regularly entertained by a child, no, a toddler getting tortured. He needs to be smacked back down to, well, not earth, whatever their world is called.

Again, still don’t get how Venion would ever look like the better or superior one in this situation. His carriage nearly ran someone over, his lackey berated the person who saved the guy they nearly hit, and then he randomly tried to start shit with another noble and insulting him in public, when the other noble hadn’t actually said or done anything to anyone. No matter how you put it, Venion is the asshole in this situation, and everyone would see that so idk what superiority he thinks he’s showing here.

See Cale gets it. Why ask something you already know about? Oh so he can point out Cale is trash. pOk the trash is still like the least problematic person in this situation so really it just makes you look worse. Btw not saying Choi Han is problematic or anything, hopefully you get my point, it’s a rare occasion of Cale being the best behaved from the outside. Is behaved a word? If it wasn’t it is now.

Idk I think Cale’s doing pretty well at being a noble and this type of talk. If that was me I’d just be rolling my eyes every time Venion spoke.

Also fuck Marquis Stan. He’s just as responsible for Taylor and The Black Dragon and is a shit father and noble. He should’ve been tortured just as much as Venion. Idc.

Is the three other children including Taylor? Because if not 3 siblings and either none of them know or none of them care about the dragon being tortured. I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt but idk if I can.

Ok so it doesn’t include Taylor.

And none of them care that the oldest brother was crippled by their other brother? Not one? Man, what is up with this family? Why do they all suck so much? Taylor deserves batter.

Imagine if KRS was transmigrated in the Stan family instead. He’d hate them so much but I feel like their downfall would come even quicker, and he’d still help Taylor and Cage because he doesn’t want to be the Marquis. He could even tell them about the black dragon to help Taylor take down his family. And he’d still be in the capital so be able to help with the plot. Can’t decide how he’d get the Shield, but idk, could be fun.

Kinda love how he refers to it as our family already. That’s cute.

Tbf I don’t think nobles not wanting to Take / associate with Deruth’s territory has much to do with it being greedy, because even if it would be greedy, what are the chances the other nobles would all care. It’s probably more to do with the Forest of darkness. Whoever’s responsible for Henituse territory is responsible for watching the Forest of Darkness and, let’s face it, most nobles won’t want that responsibility. Like looking greedy might be some nobles’ concern, but at least one noble family wouldn’t care about that.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and compare himself to Basen? Please those are two completely different relationships. Basen isn’t a complete psychopath/narcissist. And for that matter Cale isn’t Taylor. And did he really just try to call Taylor the trash eldest son and himself the pretty smart younger brother? God he’s delusional. It’s so much worse than I remembered. Delusional, arrogant, dumb, pathetic, horrible. There’s not a single good quality about this guy. Also claims he’s smart but doesn’t realise that Cale dislikes him, dare I say hate him, more than he hates Cale, but that could also be arrogance so idk.

If Venion didn’t like me and compared me to Taylor I’d take that as a huge compliment actually.

Hate to point this out again but he failed to appear as a proper noble when his carriage nearly ran someone over and his lackey blamed that person. Doesn’t seem very proper to me but what do I know? Maybe that is proper behaviour.

Also all these people just heard you call this man a waste of time and an obstacle. I know that some rich people do see poorer people like this but surely this is one of those things that, as a noble, you’re supposed to think but not say out loud? I know they’re not your people but it still seems wrong. Also wouldn’t it appear to most outsiders that he only told his lackey to stop because he realise another noble was there and he wanted to look good in front of him. Again, there’s no way Venion actually realistically comes out of this looking morally better or superior in any way to Cale.

You can practically hear the disgust in Cale’s thoughts. That’s truly impressive.

Don’t worry Venion. Cale did a very good job of teaching his people that distinction. Although his idea of people who have a right to walk this earth may differ from yours. Also again he just very publicly stated that this man, who hasn’t actually done anything wrong, doesn’t have the right to walk the earth or whatever… because he’s not a noble I guess?  Honestly, can you imagine a noble in our world saying this shit like in present time? I mean not much would happen lbr but everyone would at least be like we hate you, that’s a disgusting thing to say.

Also is now a good time to admit I have no idea how nobility actually works and therefore have no clue of the hierarchy?  Ok so google has informed me that Marquis is higher than Count and now I’m sad that a dragon torturer has a higher rank than Count Henitus, and say what you want about him, but at least he actually cares about his people to the best of his ability with the knowledge he has.

That’s offensive to dogs. At least sometimes when they yap it’s for a good reason, usually not but sometimes. (I’m not hating on dogs, I love dogs, I have two dogs, but they do tend to bark for no reason)

I don’t think there’s actually a word for how much I hate this man. Hate and despise come close but feel too weak a word. loathe maybe but every time I think of the word loathe or loathing I think of the song from Wicked, and that song could so easily go the complete opposite direction. Maybe abhor but again these words feel too weak. They don’t fully capture the anger, the disgust, the complete inability to find even one good thing about him.

What I’d give to see Choi Han punch him, just once.

The Tolz family also seem like idiots but they also seem too pathetic to actually hate? Like they just go along with keeping a dragon on their territory and letting the Marquis torture it there? Dumb, dumb as hell. I’d feel sorry for them but they brought it on themselves and so instead I look about them in about the same way I imagine most people look when they see Florida Man in the news, just a why would you do that? Confusion but still more angry than I probably would be at most Florida men or similarly stupid people in the news. A more confused version of the anger I feel when there’s a child abuse story in the news and one of them is like oh but I didn’t abuse them, when there is proof they knew it was happening and were fine with it/amused by it/encouraging it or just didn’t care. You know what I change my mind I do hate the Tolz family, just less than Marquis Stan and Venion. But yeah fuck the Tolz family too. Being pathetic and dumb is no excuse honestly.

Cale needs a reward  or something purely for not punching this man.

Also can we tak a second to discuss the difference in anger and how it’s expressed by Choi Han and Cale. The best way I can put it is Choi Han’s anger is like fire, right? It’s heated, passionate, comes on and spreads quickly and suddenly, is very destructive, hard to stop and contain, though it can be, and is harder to hide. Cale’s anger is like water, like the ocean. It’s cold, he looks very calm on the outside, so you don’t realise he’s angry, but under the surface he’s raging. I’ve always thought the ocean was beautiful and at the same time thought it was one of the most terrifying things there is, and not just because I can’t swim. With fire, the danger is there, it’s obvious, you know it’s dangerous, you know if you touch it you’re gonna get hurt, you’re gonna get burned, and that leaves a permanent mark. But the ocean isn’t like that, the danger isn’t as obvious, at least if you can swim, you could go in the ocean a million times and be just fine, and then one day you get stuck in the wrong tide, and you try to fight against it but you can’t. and there’s so much we don’t know about the ocean, so much mystery surrounding it, a lot of stories, some true, some not true. And the most dangerous thing about the ocean is how peaceful it looks, how calm, how it lures you in. even though I know I can’t swim, I still feel the urge, when I see the ocean, to just jump in, even though I know that would be a very bad idea. A lot of this applies to Cale, there are a lot of stories and rumours about him, he looks more calm than he is, he draws people in, a lot of those people survive and are just fine, but some get dragged away by the tide. The thing is fire and water, with all these differences, still have similarities: they both can hurt/kill you, and they can both be suffocating, and they’re both pretty to look at but can hurt you if you’re not careful. And that just feels so similar to Choi Han and Cale to me. Plus Cale managed to calm Choi Han down, a bit like water can douse a fire and put it out. Cale is water, Choi Han is fire, they’re both forces to be reckoned with and Venion pissed both of them off. He played with fire multiple times but he also earned the ocean’s fury, and an angry ocean… well, we all know how terrifying, how dangerous, that can be. This turned out more poetic than I intended so I’m gonna go ahead and move on.

Again he’s awfully judgy for someone who gets his kicks from torturing a 4 year old.

Cale subtly messing with Venion by purposefully using the hand he helped the old man with to shake Venion’s hand. Also the fact Cale is more disgusted to touch Venion and Venion doesn’t realise it.

also is the lackey a servant? I thought they were but idk. Oh well, not important

Cale’s ability to say these things without giving away that he’s lying is truly impressive.

Oh good, Venion’s gone. I apologise that this one is more angry/less positive. I just can’t stand Venion or people like him.

Cale: lowkey rants about everything wrong with the interaction with Venion

 also Cale: I’m not that angry though

maybe not angry necessarily but he is very much disgusted. Even then he is a little angry, which is fair

again don’t get how exactly Cale would look bad in this situation, especially when compared with Venion

honestly Choi Han and Cale’s conversation here is actually great. Cale almost comforts Choi Han, and shows that he understands how Choi Han feels and where he’s coming from, and he agrees with him. He validates Choi Han so much but his plan to destroy Venion is different. Choi Han could and would beat Venion up, maybe even kill him, but Cale, Cale takes the things he and the Marquis care about the most, their status, their power, their image, their money. For people like Venion and the Marquis that’s much more devastating than a beatdown they could recover from and use as ammunition. And then he doesn’t even really ask or demand Choi Han helps him, he offers, gives him the chance to decide or agree to help on his own, and it’s such a subtle difference, but an important one nonetheless. Also don’t think either of them realise but they’re already besties at this point.

Choi Han is such a delight

Here’s the thing, Cale was already pissed at Venion before they even met and now he’s made him even angrier. i don’t think anyone can help him now. Like he was already beyond help but, now, it’s not just I’m going to punish you for what you did to Raon. It’s I’m going to do that and I’ll enjoy every second of tearing you apart and watching you be clueless I’m responsible until it’s too late. God I love that version of KRS Cale. Kinda want a dark Cale fic now. Not necessarily a villain but also kinda. Same Cale, just wants his people safe, but if anyone regardless of the side their on messes with his people they get the same treatment as his enemies, whether they’re a hero, villain, neutral. And where he enjoys bringing them down as well. Idk the idea of dark KRS Cale is so interesting to me. And slowly the characters around him become just as dark. Like he simply can’t lose anyone else so if anyone poses even the slightest threat to his people, they’re very quickly dealt with. Anyway not important

[weirdlotiel]

Ahsoka ep 5. (Involves cursing and spoilers. Not necessarily in that order)

Did I say I love music in this series?

Last week I was talking with my dad and explained what was happening in the series and he asked if Ahsoka Hera and the team will use Pergills to find their way to Ezra and Thrawn. Not a bad idea…

Even more Jacen!!! Yay😍😍😍

I totally forgot to notice it earlier bur he has his dad’s… arm thing.

Huyang with Sabine’s helmet 😭. And how he tild them to stay together. He was so sad😭😭😭

Ahsoka has this thing with crossing her arms.

Anakin gives me uneasy feeling.

What does “finishing her training “ means?

Wait, live or die? Really? Well, that was quite… obvious.

Jacen knows something. I mean, why would he sit at the edge of the cliff?

I love how Huyang is half right half wrong.😂

Hera, listen to your baby!!!! He knows something!!!!!

And she listens! Or at least tries to. I love this duo.

Wait… Jacen hears what is happening on “the other side”???? I love that boy😭😭😭😍😍😍(and he made me cry!!!)

Carson: what am I missing? What just happened?

Huyang: Jacen has abilities. His father, Kanan Jarrus, was a jedi.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (that was literally my reaction to this conversation)

Carson: okay, we better get on it then.

You mention jedi, they listen 😂

But still, why did Hera leave Jacen and Chopper alone ot there? What if some kind of beast appears? Or whatever?

Ahsoka- falls down through the clouds.

Me: don’t tell me there will be younger Soka?

Younger Ahsoka- appears.

Me: oh, she’s cute😂

Nice training btw… well, dealing with your past is almost never easy.

Was that a random clone she sat next to? Probably yeah. Sad.

The talk with anakin, right after that… isn’t this a real dialogue from Clone wars? Or at least part of it? When they tried to get through the blocade to Ryloth? (I was watching this ep few days ago)

I knew there was something wrong!!! Vader is there! Be careful Snips!!!

I do love Huyang talking about Ahsoka and Ani. 😂

What did Chopper sense? Maybe a Pergill?

Oh, Siege of Mandalore? Just great.

Ani is dark. Is that a darke side tempting her?

Yup. Red lightsaber. But it’s not temptation… a test? Maybe.

I do love seeing more Vader side of Anakin. Although it pains me. (Btw idk how about the rest of you guys, but I had a feeling since the previous episode that we’ll see him today)

Yay, Ani is Ani again!!!!

No, he disappeared.

Haha, Ahsoka was just floating under the water. I should’ve known.😂

Jacen’s face when he saw the Ghost coming back with Ahsoka😍. I love this boy.

Jacen wants a lightaber. Of course he does.

Learning the past through touching objects? I didn’t know Ahsoka could do that.

I think she’s disappointed. At least a lil bit.

Ouch, Hera is in trouble. I hope she’s gonna be fine. (I hate most of thise politicians, did I mention that?)

Soka saw Pergills!!!!!!

Hey, you fucking senators, Hera is the general. End of discussion.

Why do I have a feeling me and my pa were right about the Pergills?😂

I love our big, soace Whales. (I need an amoji for them😂)

Dang, that Pergill is huge!!!!

Carson: I respectfully disagree.

My translation: Go fuck yourself you idiots.

So Ahsoka is gonna pull Jonah’s trick. (Now which story am I talking about? Who’s gonna tell me?)

Although I wish Hera went too. (And I do hope we’ll still se her in next episodes.)

This episode made me more emotional than I wish it did. (Especially because there was a lot of Jacen. Yes, Imma keep talking about this baby boi. And because we have more Pergills)

[mldrgrl]

Hiii! Huge fan of your Hanella series! Im doing a The Fall rewatch atm and love the moment Stella comes over and kisses Archie Panjabis character in front of that guy. Idk how to describe it… Possessive isn’t the right word for the moment but I find the confidence so sexy. Do you think Hank has ever experienced her be that bold and forward in public with him before?

Hello, and thank you. What's behind this cut is a lot of word vomit, so read at your own risk.

Please first allow me to preface the explanation that follows here with the fact that I actually put in way too much character analysis into both Hank and Stella when I was coming to the decision years ago of whether or not to continue with these stories or just keep it as that one-shot, one-night stand that reluctantly became two. I did not in any way expect the overwhelmingly positive response to the pair as I got and I wasn't going to continue if it was only to make them international fuck buddies, becauase...boring. If I couldn't find it in them to build up a relationship within the series, I wasn't going to do it. So, I sat with it for quite a bit, stewing on their strengths and weaknesses and what would pull them together, but also keep them apart. So, these are my opinions on The Fall and Stella, but in now way a judgment of them, because they are what they are. There are honestly plenty of things I don't like about both Stella and Hank as characters, or how they respond to certain things (even within my own series) but if I stopped them from doing things that I don't necessarily like or agree with, it wouldn't be truthful for the characters.

That being said, I don't feel the same way about the moment with Reed as you do (and trust me, I know I'm probably in a minority of one when I say that). What Stella was doing in that moment was meant to intimidate, to take power, to have an upper hand over the guy speaking to Reed, as well as to seduce. That scene actually makes me sad and uncomfortable to think that she would put another woman in that position of having to deal with unwanted advances - and actually she was caught between either accepting the kiss to get a guy to leave the table, or embarrass Stella by pushing her away. It's stomach-churing for me. Whenever it comes up in a rewatch, I cringe at how awkward it looks and that I don't want to see someone who doesn't want that kiss, to have to take it. It's predatory. If Stella was some guy coworker of Reed's who did that, I would feel the exact same way. The only real point in Stella's favor that I can give her is for what follows - she respects that when Reed says no, she can't, she doesn't try to convince her otherwise, she leaves it at that. Let me reiterate here, this is not me passing a judgment on Stella or anyone who got something different out of that scene. It's how I feel about that scene and what needs to be explained to answer the question.

So, in terms of that above motivation, the thing is that she's never had to take power over Hank or seduce him. And that's one of the reasons why Stella's hang-up about public displays of affection as well as overcoming those hang-ups are a theme throughout the Hanella universe - because this relationship is different for her. She keeps that overt boldness private for them, because it's for them and not for anyone else and she doesn't have to weaponize it. I think part of what makes their relationship work in my mind is that they can inherently cancel out the more unappealing aspects of their personalities, but they've still had to put in the work to get past their baggage.

One of the things I remember that I leaned on heavily to develop Stella's character in this series, and move past The Fall, is the conversation with the doctor (whose name escapes me because all I could think of when I saw him was JEFFREY FROM COUPLING!!!!!). I remember that quiet conversation with Doctor NotJeffrey being the most telling about how lonely she is and how hard she's worked to push people out of her life. And those were the kinds of things that I knew that I could work with - knew that I wanted to work with. That, combined with the last shot of her alone in her kitchen after the whole ordeal is what made me believe that she was capable of more than fleeting one-night stands and could be ready to form a connection with someone.

I also think the Working Hard stories within the series are probably the closest to any public boldness Hank has gotten from her, but because they're both in on the game and she's given herself permission to have fun with it.

I'm sorry for the long ramble and I know you probably wanted me to say yes!!! one time he was waiting for her at a bar and she walked up when he wasn't looking and grabbed his dick through his jeans and cocked her head to the side and he knew it meant 'let's get out of here' and they fucked against the brick wall in the alley and then went back in and had a drink, but I really, really do take these two very seriously and I do have reasons for why they are the way they are.

Too seriously, I know.

[bisluthq]

Why would CFW be treated u fairly though? Like did people have some bias against Joe even when he was with Taylor? Unless there’s some reason idk I’d assume it just want very good to most ppl but you personally liked it a lot. A lot of people find Joe boring and his portrayal of the character boring (yes I know he’s supposed to be etc) who don’t have any bias about him due to Taylor one way or the other

I think lots of people had and have anti Joe bias tbh ESPECIALLY and WHILE he was with Taylor lol like I think it’ll decrease over time. Literally every other review that DIDN’T like it made jokes about London Boy/Lover/etc so yea no they knew.

I think lots of people misunderstood the book. I say this very wholeheartedly but I saw reviews that were going on and on about how this isn’t how they imagined it/how “wrong” it is, but Sally was involved so… it’s how SHE imagined it? It’s also stylistically very in keeping with the book idk? I’m not sure what people imagined. I saw everything from Joe is “too young” to play Nick (he’s explicitly stated to be 30, Joe looked 30 in the show so idk) to Frances is too weird and awkward (that’s explicitly her personality in the book?? She’s super socially awkward, as is Nick, and that’s why they gravitate towards one another because both are overshadowed by Bobbi and Melissa generally and find they sorta can speak to one another rather).

3. I actually think people had Rooney fatigue after NP and BWWAY. She was like EVERYWHERE and I suspect that for a lot of people it sorta started to get less fresh and more annoying. I must say, I personally didn’t really enjoy BWWAY that much so like I too was perhaps a victim of Rooney fatigue and I’ve thought maybe I should reread that book in like 5 years and see what I think then. I’ve read it twice and I did like it better the second time so perhaps if I give it another 5 years I actually will legit like it. My current gripe with it are Alice’s emails, not because I dislike them individually but because I got the sense that they’re just Sally’s essays on like… life… and then she should’ve published an essay collection.

4. I also get the sense it came at a different time and was “bigger” than Normal People/a lot more hyped than that (I learned last nights one of the awards it won is being the most looked up TV project on IMDb) and that in part was Taylor related but it’s also just not a good thing because NP followed an organic thing and came out during the pandemic when we were all sad and horny and bored and so it was very zeitgeisty. (Same as folklore lol). Those two things were very pandemicy. By the time CWF came out, people had gotten vaxxed and were starting to go out so sad and boring and horny wasn’t necessarily what people wanted. Also people who WEREN’T the demographic for or hadn’t ever watched NP watched CWF and… were bored.

5. Back to the overhype/oversaturation like it’s a problem Marvel faces now. People are over it. I was watching a fairly long form piece on BBC about like Marvel’s fuckups in relation to Deadpool and Wolverine (obviously which will actually be a huge hit but which is also very different in tone/vibe than the rest of the MCU) and the one woman did say like audiences are just over Marvel and I tend to agree. I’m not sure the movies have gotten that much worse but we’re just over them.

6. I bring up all of the above because it wasn’t just Joe related obviously but like I saw criticism of essentially Lenny’s style (the hyper realism which is his hallmark) and it didn’t do well in technical categories even though it was technically phenomenal so 🤷🏻‍♀️ No, it wasn’t purely Taylor/Joe related but that didn’t help.

7. As I have said many, many times - Limited Series is probably the most competitive thing to seriously compete with these days and plenty of ones with big names and that are actually very genuinely GOOD, to use my least favorite term, “flop” but most (all based on that weird this was the most looked up thing on IMDb award) aren’t as hyped as this so people have more choice to watch it or nah.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

I wrote this yesterday and I'll need to completely rewrite it, but I thought I'd share anyway.

Idk, I just want some positive interaction.

It's that thing in which Harry and Uma get married after Core 4 chose good except I didn't get that far.

They chose good.

They chose good, they said, and left the Isle as it is. Left the Isle children in the prison they were born into.

They chose good, they said.

Gil stares at the TV in Chip Shoppe in disbelief as the restaurant descends into chaos, the faint music and royal declarations completely driven out by dreams full of frustrated rage.

If he looked up, he’d see Uma, alternating between clutching her necklace, Harry’s hook, and stabbing a table with her knife, as one does, and Harry, looking at Uma with sad eyes only to glare daggers at the TV the next moment.

„Traitors!“

Bonny and Gonzo yelling obscenities at the screen, while Jonas holds Desiree down so she wouldn’t destroy their only source of outside news and soap operas.

„Bloody backstabbers, feed the to the sharks, skin them alive, make them hurt–“ the sentence is interrupted by something that certainly aren’t sobs, and Gil doesn’t want to look up.

He is a coward, just like his father said, isn’t he?

He just doesn’t want to see his friends hurting.

He doesn’t want to see the de Vil cousins, huddled up together in a corner, caught in their own private circle of hell. Torn between being happy for their youngest cousin, and a burning rage at the whole world.

Gil is glad to say he can’t relate, even if it isn’t a good thing necessarily. Everyone he cares about is still on the Isle, and he doesn’t even feel angry. Just a bit disappointed, and sad. But not surprised.

It’s weird that Uma is surprised, isn’t it?

She always sees the best in people.

Gil finally looks up at her.She is shaking her head, her braids flying everywhere like in a storm. There are shattered plates at her feet.

The TV is still playing.

More royal blue and lavish gold and, of course, purple that drives Uma into rage and tears.Gil gets up and turns off the TV.

No one even notices, save maybe for Harry, who briefly nods at him before turning back to Uma. Normally, Gil would smile at this, but today? He quietly sits back down and takes a sip of his drink, which doesn’t burn nearly enough for the circumstances.

„When we get out, we will show them all what it means to be an Isle kid!“ Uma declares, looking around the restaurant, and the pirates shout their agreement.

„We will tear them apart-“

„Auradon will be ours!“

„The lands and the seas!“

„We ride with the tide!“

Gil isn’t sure whether the Captain or the first mate gave the order to get on the ship, he just knows that they did. And the order to get alcohol? Well, that might have been unspoken for all the pirates care.

Gil stops in front of the door, letting everyone else pass, while Uma and Harry walk in the front. Well, not everyone.

When he checks the room, he sees the de Vil cousins, still sitting by their table. They make no move to leave.

„You good there, guys?“ he asks.He only receives three blank stares in return, before Hunter shakes his head and answers: „Yeah. We will join you in a moment. Just–“ he doesn’t finish the sentence, and Gil can understand why, really.

„Okay, then,“ he nods at them, „If you need anything, just shout.“

„We won’t need anything,“ answers Ivy, „We are fine.“

That, in itself, means that they are not fine, but Gil knows better than to press. They said they’ll be fine, so he needs to leave, tell the Captain where they are, and ideally remember to check up on them later.

Similarly, it isn’t really his problem if the de Vils help themselves to some of the alcohol that was left at the shop, especially as the crew solidly raided both Hook and Ursula anyway.

[venacoeurva]

fuck it I’m not tired, we’re wrenposting have some more (rambling) info on him. Misc stuff, some are kind of zesty

He can play the lute, but doesn’t do it often. Enjoys sea shanties.

Called Hircine dad on accident multiple times

His combat style is very acrobatic, he relies on a lot of momentum and interrupting attacks ( getting enemies to stagger, locking their joints, or jamming it weapon angle with his spear). He’s also used his spear like how people used poleaxes to propel themselves. Good chance he’ll swing down from something and either kick you in the face or leap on you and use his weight and momentum to throw you to the ground and stab you on the way down.

He knows some really weird and specific spells because that’s the perk of dating various mostly weird (often evil) wizards. Even his objectively not evil boyfriend from right before MW (Who, if asked and if she had knowledge of him, Erveasa would say was a bit of a bore with a lack of bloodthirst made his relationship with Wren basically doomed) was a restoration mage doing things like testing (weak) thunder magic combined with healing together to see how it woud effect tissue. One of his spells he taught Wren is the one that he used to heal his own slit neck during the assassination attempt and later his leg. Idk he likes weird dudes and it’s mostly been to his benefit (usually) as it turns out. I put “questionable taste in men” on every reference I make for him for a reason

Is a light sadomasochist, and is delighted when he has partners into this and (given his job I should need to add: consensual) situations arise (he doesn’t get off this way on his jobs, he just fucks em normally--big difference. The act of killing has nothing with him being able to get off, sex on the job is just a perk and method he uses since it works.)

Looks scrawny but has a lot of gradually accumulated lean muscle that’s not defined

Goes out on hunts with the Frostmoon pack regularly and sometimes brings up supplies from town. Usually comes back home soaked in blood and only wearing the pants he left in (why ruin his clothes?). Stopped being jarring for everyone in the house after a while. The presence of werebears also roaming in packs and the fact he goes out there alone with people who also aren’t notably powerful and a somewhat small number tends to make Teldryn antsy (despite Wren’s character and mw canon 10,000 health lol) and he finds himself staying up and waiting for him to get back (but will claim the book he’s reading is just so engrossing that he didn’t keep track of time, what a coincidence...) (Wren is well aware of why he’s doing that--too bad they’re terrible talking about their feelings if they can’t turn it into Jokes they quickly move on from)

Displays some canine behaviors once a werewolf. Tilting his head while listening is a big one.

He also eats a lot, but way more since becoming a werewolf (that form burns a LOT of calories). He doesn’t really put on any weight, he’s never really been able to after a certain point (which isn’t necessarily a good thing...). He’s like that one kid who got kicked out of a CiCi’s for going nuts on the pizza because his doctor told him to eat like crazy. He’s occasionally come back from hunts ready for a food coma and/or with a killer stomach ache

Do not grab his neck in the front, he will freak out and avoid you after. If for some reason you gotta grab the back of his neck in like a medical scenario or something then that’s fine. Tied to the assassination attempt on him

Additionally, grabbing his waist or hips makes things awkward...or sexy, depending on the context. Don’t do it if you aren’t intending to turn him on, or make him uncomfortable--if you do you’ll get stabbed. He wears things around it to mitigate the sensation and just make it more likely you’ll grab his scarf belt thing and not his actual body.

Gets bitey if he’s overstimulated. Fidgets a lot.

He does not let himself cry. Like at all. If he gets sad he just loses all affect and goes quiet. When Needle died that dam broke. Happened again in the 4th era too but it was like relieved crying and not “my pet who I raised from a baby was the only thing here for me is dead and also I have one fully functional arm, I lost my family’s dagger in a volcano, and almost bled to death like 2 days ago in the aforementioned volcano” (Almalexia healed his arm as the blessing you get from her--perfectly functional, but still scarred. Maybe a symbolism thing, maybe because it was already healing but WOULD scar regardless, whatever it was)

Surprisingly cuddly despite his trust issues. Cuddling isn’t a purely romantic thing for him either, he’ll do it platonically as well. He can and will splay himself across you somehow (if you’re cool with it)

He’s good with kids, but after caring for other younger orphans with the others his age range and older, he’s had enough with that kind of thing and has no drive to have any himself. Also he knows he’d be a terrible parent. Great babysitter and other very short term arrangements, but your kid might come back knowing incinerate, though. Occasionally watches Dusk and Kharjo’s kid (Dusk’s first kid is around college age, so he doesn’t need to be babysat)

[andiwriteordie]

Okay which stranger things ship do you see as “champagne problems”?

Bc i can’t stop applying it to the ships.

Lumax, from max’s pov, but they work their shit out later. Stancy, from nancy’s pov, but there were never SUPPOSED to be. Joyce/Bob, from Joyce’s pov, except she almost felt ready to take that extended hand… and then he was taken from her. Jopper, from both their povs depending on the time, because i feel like season 3 joyce is in a better place with HERSELF but grieving, and hopper views himself as a curse but he isn’t the one doing the rejecting. Chrissy/Jason, if Chrissy’d gotten to live, except we’re all cheering for her inwardly even tho she’s sad ab it at first.

& “right where you left me”???? Idkidkidk my brain just keeps saying look look look—first it goes lumax from lucas’ pov, then it goes nancy & barb (espec. season2 nance) & obvi byler i could see interpretations for either pov but mike jsut—works so much better for him post season 3 idk. El & her dad… el & henry.

Basically—talk to me ab tswift song associations w/ stranger things bc i can’t get them out of my head 😓

OOH A TAYLOR SWIFT X STRANGER THINGS ASK MY FAVORITE.

every single one of those couples absolutely fits champagne problems, for all the reasons you just listed! i don't think there's necessarily one couple who fits this story the best, since the song does ends with the couple being broken up and the narrator experiencing at least a little bit of regret (as shown in her self-deprecation through the song).

i think of every couple, lumax probably fits this the best? especially with s4 max's mental health struggles being such a large part of why they broke up. it doesn't seem like a far reach for me to imagine those two in a future where max is still struggling with her mental health and does choose to break things off with lucas again, simply because of what happened with the upside down and also honestly max doesn't have the best home life and has grown up learning defense mechanisms that make her more prone to try and run away (see her dumping lucas a lot in the in between of s2-s3 and ofc the pre s4 break up) rather than deal with those problems head on. not trying to drag max because she is my girl and i love her with everything i am, but i think that's just part of how she's grown up and how she tries to protect herself.

that said, i don't think lucas would ever give up on her. s4 shows us that and shows us how he is trying to reach out to her and believes he should've done more. so, i think where they diverge from champagne problems' narrative is that the narrator's love interest isn't going to find someone new. instead, that love interest is going to keep working and keep holding on, because the love is real between them, even in spite of the mental health issues and such!

also again, agree with your rwylm analyses! but my first gut instinct though with this song is to think about will, actually! rwylm tells us a story about a narrator who was blind-sided by the loss of this relationship and then ends up staying "frozen" and stuck in that past, unable to move on from it. obviously, like i just said the song is in the context of a relationship, but pulling back a little bit more, i think the theme of it can fit will in general. will's trauma has left him frozen and stuck in a sense. everybody moves on, but will... will stays there. his childhood was robbed from him first with the kidnapping then with the possession, and we see how in s3 he is so desperately trying to hold onto that childhood while everyone else moves on without him.

digging deeper into the byler implications here, obviously this happens in tandem with the break in will and mike's friendship, where will again feels stuck because of his ud related experiences but also because of his sexuality, but mike? mike's moving on. he's found a beautiful girl who is a superhero, and he obviously loves her and cares about her. i mean come on. "if our love died young, i can't bear witness" screams the rain fight to me, and that image just hurt me very deeply ok.

"you left me no choice but to stay here forever" has a twofold meaning then. it's directed at both henry (the abuser who robbed will of his childhood) but also then at mike (the boy who will loves who has seemingly moved on past the need for will).

and uh... yep. i could go into more detail probably, but that's a little summary of my thoughts!

[wow-cool-robot]

Episode 19: Cinderella Four

i took a break, and i'm feeling a lot better about the last few episodes after some reflection. the stuff i said bugs me still does, but not as much. my knowledge of cinderella and my tendency towards pattern recognition lead me to believe something sad is going to happen to four this episode. can't wait!

i would also want you out of my city after the last 2 episodes

amuro is a shitty mentor who's trying his best, which is a good dynamic

amuro clearly trying to help kamille avoid dealing with cute enemy newtypes which has never gone well and probably never will, but he's too traumatized and awkward to explain himself

i do like beltorchika here, she seems nosy and worried for amuro, but in ways that make sense and are conducive to good drama

mirai also good here. trying to respect amuro's privacy, but kamille is close enought to him that she feels like she owes him a partial explanation

four jaywalking and forcing trucks to swerve rules

oooh, it's cinderella because they're meeting up and have to return before midnight

on the one hand you probably shouldn't steal a motorcycle, someone might need that. on the other hand they left the key in the ignition, and at that point it's kind of on you

idk, cyber newtypes have worked about as well as anything else

don't call her #4. i assume she's the 4th cyber newtype and they didn't name her, so she took it as a name?

they have until 12 midnight together :(

idk why this is working so well for me, but i think it's the fact that they're both clearly reaching past their trauma to try and make human connections. even though they just met them wanting to spend time together feels earned to me

i say all that and then the guitar kicks in and i can't take it seriously any more

ok, i support cross faction relationships for good drama, but there is definitely a difference between the fascists who gas colonies and the anti-fascists fighting the fascists who gas colonies. that being said, four isn't necessarily a titan and might not have any clue what's going on outside her bubble beyond "you need to fight these people"

frankly i'm surprised four is the first explicit war orphan we've met who wasn't orphaned on screen, unless i've missed someone. you'd think there'd be more, given that over half of all people died in the one year war

though i guess most of them were civilians and it happened when the cities were destroyed leaving no survivors because australia was turned into a crater, so probably most of the dead parents children also died

four looking for her memories is an archetype i've seen before, but this might be one of the earliest examples

i love the carpet bombing interrupting the romantic music

thank you kamille for remembering that the reason you fight the federation is because they're carpet bombing their own civilian population for sympathizing with the enemy

i really like four being super selfish. it gives her personality beyond "is sad about memories" which isn't always a guarantee

this guy piloting the psycho gundam doesn't know what the fuck he's doing

man, amuro really is a better pilot than kamille

yeah, i bet that thing blows big when it eventually goes

thank god for newtype powers, saving valuable seconds each episode by letting characters just know who it is piloting the mobile suit without any cues

dang, four's cool. this is maybe the most impressive newtype thing we've seen. lalah did some cool stuff, but that was all with stuff set up for her and the lasers weren't too big. four controlling the psycho gundam without any of that is impressive

what's up with the animation of the thing coming in? goes in then out then in again? at 14:45 on the youtube version?

yeah, why not. everyone slap kamille. mirai, i think it's your turn

kamille: a man can't go out to die just because he's been slapped

it's a good line, but i'm not sure the show agrees. 0079 definitely takes your side, but this show seems to have a different perspective on things

i like the way they move through physical space in this fight

oof, she is wrecking this city. might have the highest kill count of any character we've met outside a command role

kamille has jumping on a mobile armors back ever worked?

man :( they probably are lying, but kamille can't know that, and neither can he know the aeug could help

the combat system forces her to fight?

that hizack taking off amuros hand and tackling kamille is by far the most impressive a zaku has been since at least episode 10 of 0079

if beltorchika takes mirai's advice and chills i think i'll end up liking her just fine. she was already a lot better in this episode

i think the show has found its identity, and while i don't necessarily jive with it perfectly i do like this

[tutuandscoot]

"I can’t help but think that throughout it in the back of his mind he was just so angry this was happening to them."

What are you talking about here? The end of the skating career? It's strange to me because I never once thought he was angry or disappointed his skating career ended. He talked about how he was already thinking about his life beyond skating before PYC. Tessa also spoke about how excited she was for life after skating. The next chapter was something they both had been looking forward to for quite a while.

I can't figure out where any anger would be in this moment, because they are both just about to start their lives after skating, while having the strongest, most supportive bond ever. I can see relief, maybe a bit of sadness because that exact moment of being at the Olympics as athletes won't happen again, but anger?

**INhale……EXhale

Ok. I’m assuming you’re the anon that often pulls out quotes from my writing and questions them.. (which thank you for taking the time to read my writing so thoroughly I genuinely appreciate it).

I knew this would happen- that someone would question why I wrote that, which is why a packed it with an abundance of clarifiers (apparently not enough though).

This is not meant to be taken literally. I’m not saying he would ACTUally be angry.. once again I pack my essays with tonnes of ‘this is just how I feel/interpret it/the emotions I feel watching them’ at the expense of the flow of my writing because maybe to a fault I can get carried away with what I would describe as a hybrid of ‘creative writing/word vomit, but I try my best to make my point make sense.

As I’ve said before with other subjects, I could not have any possible idea what they are actually thinking, unless of course they say exactly what they were feeling. This is me putting myself in their shoes skates. The ‘anger’ I described is not in the sense of they are mad about their career coming to an end, mad about what’s to come, mad about how it ended, on the contrary, I also see immense celebration in this performance. It is indeed a beautiful celebration of their career. There’s some commentary from BESP I’m pretty sure from SCI in 2017, after MR one of them says something to the affect of.. ‘imaging the emotion of their last skate, and the last worlds they skate to.. ‘I’ll love you till the end of time’ and that commentator was getting quite emotional about it (coz he had watched and commentary on them for 10 years and saw what an impact they had on the sport). With an ending of any significance comes a wave of emotions. I used the word anger because I feel, especially from him, what I got from his expression of movement…….

Idk see it’s so hard to actually explain the emotions I feel when I watch them and make them make complete sense, as for everyone else watching they would not feel all the same things.. you don’t feel a sense of anger from him, can’t see why they would be.. and that’s fine. Anger isn’t the only emotion I felt hence why I said the “tiniest bit”.

Idk if you’re artistic or not, specifically in the performing arts sense, but I am, and what I see in his expression is an emotion I’ve felt. Not necessary anger at a particular situation, but a mess of emotions one may be feeling for any number of reasons that maybe the only way to express them is though dancing. I had to perform a solo once at a competition a few days after my grandfather died, not to get too personal but I had a lot of conflicting emotions messed up at that time and without even really deciding to I let it out in this performance. It was not a necessarily good performance (I messed up a bit) but I had never felt my emotions so unleashed on stage before that- I had always been able to act and perform what the piece required whether I felt it or not. That was the first time in my life I had dealt with grief so closely and found it hard to express my emotions about it as a person but dancing it helped me, it got what I need to out without me necessarily knowing what exactly I was letting out, but I felt so much lighter after that. I was experiencing grief for really the first time and what is common with grief is it is never expressed completely by sadness- some may feel inclined to be funny or laugh or deflect or withdraw.. there’s no one way to experience it. In TS competitive career coming to an end there is certainly an element of grief there, regardless of how excited they were for their next chapter. With a significant end to something so meaningful comes an element of grief and that can come out in many different forms.

this exhibition performance was a huge moment for them in the timeline of their career. They would never again perform on Olympic or competitive ice. Whether they were paying attention to the media narrative or not- the ‘monumental’ (in the skating world) fact that we would never see these greats again (in this environment) was made so clear for the viewers- that this was the end of an era, they were surely feeling some version of that themselves- because it was the end of an era, more then twenty years before that moment they had been paired up and began competing together coz their parents thought it was cute and here they are now the greatest in history.

Like I said I could not possibly know what exact emotions they were feeling (that’s the thing with my writing, I say how I feel coz that’s the only thing I can speak truthfully on beyond exactly what they have said, and trust me I go back and read my writing before posting to check it’s not too fantastical or inconceivable (I miss typos sometimes but oh well) and even things I wrote a year ago I stand by).

Anger is just one emotion I interpreted from him. Not a lot of anger, not defined by their choice to retire or others opinions of them, not him being angry at her, that moment would just be a cacophony of emotions for everything it meant for them and I imagine they were feeling a thousand different things. Also, something personally for Scott, how many times has he said and it’s been obvious he’s a very emotional person and his emotions can kinda go from 0 to 200 in a second, and he’s had to learn to control that and he can’t believe Tessa has managed to deal with him and that part of him coz (I imagine) that must be exhausting for himself sometimes so he imagines and feels for her dealing with it. He says that second part (her dealing with him) as kinda a joke but at the same time you feel that’s how he does feel and he is always met with Tessa calling BS on it coz they know they wouldn’t be there without each other and for everything she has ‘put up’ with him, she feels he has ‘put up’ with her (injuries etc). So consider that - his kind of emotional roller coaster, and the fact he’s said he can get angry over small things- mostly over pushing himself to be better, or angry he hasn’t done his best for her, or angry he let her/someone/s down. (I’m assuming you know what I’m referencing coz you seem very well educated on them) just, a subtle sense of anger in the mix of grief and sadness, farewell to what has been their stage for 20+ years as well as looking forward to their very bright future. If I were to deeply cover every single emotion I felt them expressing it would be longer then the LOTR series.. I just picked that one emotion out because it was poignant to me and I felt it in his partnering of her as a quality I’d never seen from them.

As with all art it is subjective and that is just one tiny element I personally interpreted from it and I didn’t see it as a negative thing in the sense of something to do with this partnership or something she said to him or he did to her or something written about them in the press… just a huge mix of emotions about the whole situation. Just, mad this had to end- that doesn’t negate them feeling excited or looking forward to the future. Just in that moment, on that ice with the lights down and it was just the two of them where for almost their whole lives it was just about the safest place they could be to express their emotions- joy, fear, sadness, euphoria etc.. through moving together they could let their emotions out and I interpreted it as them wishing they could stay out there forever (which huh, they said that exact phrase in relation to the end of MR) but the sad truth is they couldn’t.. and if I put myself in their situation… I would feel a little tiny bit angry about that.

You have to understand that when I write about them I can’t possibly cover all bases/ I’m not thinking about every aspect of their partnership- I’m more or less just commenting on the moment in the video/gif etc. and naturally, as with everyone I’m more attracted to/fascinated by certain aspects of their career/partnership than others just as some for a time seemed to not be able to get the idea of them sleeping in the same bed on a tour bus out of their minds. Believe me, if I could write a book on it I would and be sure to include everything but in a post about a vague emotion I felt in a 3 minute exhibition program, I’m probably not thinking about every single other thing they’ve ever done/will do in hindsight, this is just how I feel watching them in the moment and what I interpreted from it.

Dancers/artists as talented as them can often have the ability to make an audience feel anything they want you to feel, but similarly we are free to interpret it how we please. Sometimes they can make you feel something they themselves aren’t feeling at all, or they can feel something so deep in them that we interpret as something totally different. That’s called doing their job. Their job is to inspire emotion in people who watch them, there is no correct result to what we should feel, but the very fact that we did feel anything means they achieved what they set out to.

With them and the way I’ve found myself writing about them is this merge of the human and the artist.. hence the title of my blog. I am never speaking about them as just one or the other.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

furthermore it’s something that quant kid 2 was supposedly written as “guy who sucks who we never see again” (which, underwhelming execution of that lmao even hypothetically just on paper) & then there’s will roland’s interpretation, with will never really mentioning like yeah i decided to try to put a spin on it, or anyone else really providing more specifics rather than they Liked his live & in person je ne sais quoi & acted performance. and idk, just said Je Ne Sais Quoi & the presumed approach of Acting In Earnest rather than that the character being a joke is something that the actor is inviting the audience in on. acting like “this is how it’d be if this was a person.” no character has Real internality the way a real person does but we can interpret it As If They Did anyways, a whole conceit of art imitating life imitating art and narratives / stories / media as an interpretation of life experiences / realities....winston’s autistic. writers doing caricatures of autistic people they’ve unknowingly encountered, with the assumption in life carried over to the assumption as a creator of fictionalized versions of Guys Like That which is that well i guess those weird nerd mathy computer guys are grating losers who annoy us b/c they do that on purpose, like an asshole. and they’re like really good at some specific thing sometimes, but actually that’s Sad even if it’s useful, so it’s also just kind of annoying & wrong of them. done. winston’s autistic, and that also autistic people hardly always know they’re autistic and everything can be a blend of “idk, this isn’t how it is for everyone?” and “i guess things must be my fault on account of being a guy who sucks b/c of whatever’s wrong with me & all” like, for winston to work with taylor he has to say “yeah i suck” before he gets to again mention he’s super good as his shit though, which is apparently also something that sucks of him. ok. it will never be more decipherable, except that it’s indecipherable in the very same way Being Autistic Irl is lmfao. he’s autistic. he’s also autistic b/c a) i think he is, and b) does anyone care otherwise. like who would even truly give a shit about their “winston is some guy i think. idk” interpretion enough to argue for it. or even “yeah winston is some guy who is like a cringe loser to me, idc” like is it important to you. thinking about winston as [autistic character] and secret cassandra (general secret weapon in other ways) for it as well is like, idfk, the alternative is just what most people surely do which is taking the face value “jokes boy who gets dunked on” context and not a step further. okay. i hope to god this is all rhetorical like, if anyone Is out there like “i’ll join this conversation and devil’s advocate about why it’s important for winston to be allistic” it’s like, first of all, already for that b/c the counterarguments to the counterargument are beyond [well ig at the end of the day it’s just all our interpretations =) lol like yeah no shit. anyways] include stuff again like how ppl can be autistic without even their themselves knowing it and the fact of like, irl you don’t need to go “oh it’s okay for people to do [xyz] if they’re autistic =)” like it’s way most likely to be okay whether they’re autistic or not and certainly whether you Know it or not. like, i’m monologuing out here. idc abt any other opinions lmfao like hello?? mine are more than good enough

anyways like the only discussions possible like hmm david levien maybe i have some questions but if you don’t have good answers i’ll just throw it out, idc, i wouldn’t necessarily say i trust this writing or any of you involved in it half as far as i can throw it, just inquiries for fun. i’d discuss it with will roland’s mother, or him himself. like here you can also be given [honorarily autistic] by me if you want at this rate. anyhow send post. i can’t say [winston billions autistic character] enough

[reading-cat]

Top 5 Worst Books of 2023

The criteria for "worst" include but are not limited to: genuinely badly written, I had too many expectations and was disappointed, just not my thing, boring and "idk I just felt like it".

5. Witchmark by C.L. Polk

Great idea, bad execution. As in, the writing isn’t very good. The pacing was extremely weird, alternating between excruciatingly slow and too quick. And there’s a fae (they’re not called fae, but you know what I mean) jump-scare.

4. The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

I saw this being recommended as similar to Six of Crows. It is not. Yes, there’s a heist and some found family vibes and multiple POVs and queer characters, but that’s about it. This book just didn’t live up to my expectations. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just extremely average. There were too many main characters to properly develop all of them. The heist itself was a mess of illogical puzzles. I liked the fact that there’s some critique of colonialism, but it also felt very surface level. I’m just disappointed and kinda sad about it.

3. Things We Say in the Dark by Kristy Logan

This book has been sitting on my tbr since 2019, when it first came out. I finally read it for a book club and god, was I disappointed. Kristy Logan really said "Ooooh, look how vague and mysterious I can be" and then just gave us a bunch of half finished badly written stories. There were some good ideas in there and even stories that I somewhat liked. If only they had had the chance to develop a little bit more.

2. The Element of Fire by Martha Wells

As a big fan of Wells’ Murderbot Diaries, I decided to check out some of her other works. The Element of Fire is the fist of her books she’s ever published and you can feel it. This was tedious and boring. The world and the characters are very underdeveloped. And the fairies. I was not expecting the fae. I did not want to read about the fae. There is a flying castle though, so that’s nice.

1. Yoshi and the bird by Duran Sakagawa

I have a friend who really likes birds and Japanese and Korean authors. Every year, we try to do a buddy read or a reading challenge together. Yoshi and the bird was this year’s victim. Honestly, I was expecting a cute story about a boy who picks up a bird who fell out of its nest. Maybe a slightly melancholic life lesson. Maybe some veiled social commentary. Not this. What was this. How is this one of the most out of pocket violent and depressing books I have ever read. And when I say violent, I mean it. Why. There was absolutely no need for that ending.

[SPOILERS]

I’m sorry, bird suicide??? I can deal with bird religion, but suicide? And Yoshi too??? He’s, like, 12 if not less. What are you doing. What is this book doing.