#and it annoyed me

[hopelesscatdad]

I hate the whole "No one escapes abuse because they have to be super kind and submissive to their abuser or it only gets worse and is a dead end."

It's not a dead end. And this ignores the many, many more layers that goes into escaping.

There's so many ways to get out, for every situation. From my own experience, to family, friends, innumerable stories online.

Here's the real issue. The issue is you have to trust the guiding path, you have to trust the helping hand, the aiding organization, the friend pulling you along. And trust you can weather the worst of the storm and believe it will get better at the end.

And that right there is the real issue. When you've been beaten down for so long, that doesn't exist. There isn't trust in yourself, there isn't trust in others. Trust doesn't exist, period. And you need that trust to advocate for yourself, to get people to genuinely understand your needs and what sort of protection you'll need as you escape, to be able to decide who can actually help as promised. But it's not there. It's gone.

And you only relearn that by healing, and it is so so unimaginably hard to try and relearn that when you're still stuck in a situation, when you're still being forced to run on survival mode where everything is a threat.

Of course there are some super extreme situations where death is a risk, obviously that's gonna take a lot more complicated of a process to do anything about. So that's not exactly what I'm talking about, just as a disclaimer.

But otherwise, yeah. There's options. There's almost always options, or at least options popping up over the years. It's just so incredibly hard to build up the courage, to find the energy to fight like hell for yourself, when you aren't even sure or trust who you are as a person.

Yes, it will get worse. I know it will get worse. It is terrifying. But it's not a dead end. It's just the worst of the storm before the new dawn. It's just one last final warcry, the battle to end all battles. It's horrifying, it's terrifying, it's exhausting, and yes, traumatizing. But with enough time to prepare, plan, know your options, to learn to trust and turn to others, it's possible. It's not a dead end. It too will pass.

[catmask]

its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

[yennefer]

"i don't like this thing and i wish i didn't have to see people talking about it all the time"

girl (gender neutral), you are on tungle dot com:

choose your fighter.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[goldensunset]

did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back

[lilislegacy]

zeus: your boy is out of control. he’s down there creating storms and tsunamis and causing mass chaos. i think you need to-

poseidon: LOOK AT HIM GO! HAHA LOOK LOOK LOOK HE JUST DROWNED THAT ENTIRE ARMY OF MONSTERS

zeus: that’s not-

poseidon: OMG LOOK HES CAUSING A LITTLE EARTHQUAKE NOW! YES! GOOD! NOW USE YOUR SWORD TO- YES THATS IT SON!!

zeus:

poseidon: DROWN THEM ALL!! SHAKE THE GROUND!! FLOOD THE WHOLE AREA!! SINK IT TILL IT’S GONE!!

zeus: brother you need to-

poseidon: you’re just jealous.

zeus:

poseidon: he’s wonderful.

zeus: he’s-

zeus:

zeus: is he… doing the macarena?

poseidon: yes

poseidon: he likes to get on the nerves of his enemies. he also is physically incapable of staying serious for too long

zeus:

poseidon: i’ve never loved one of my children this much

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

What Is That Name?

I haven't seen the rest of the episodes of season 2(?) of Jujutsu Jaisen, but I did learn about this freak of nature.

Like, holy shit, Megumi.... WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!

Also, it's name is just way too fucking long.

"Eight-Handled Sword Divergent Sila Divine General Mahoraga."

WHAT IS THAT NAME?

AND WHAT IS THIS THING?!

[xekstrin]

RE: talking to conservative parents, I’ve found a good method to de-worming their brains is to not get riled up, just act a little bored and remind them “the news cycle only shows salacious stuff. They want you to be mad and scared because it makes you easier to control. Think about it for a second. Do you REALLY believe everything they have to say?” Or “you can’t believe everything you read or see on the internet. Remember, they earn money every time you click on their video.”

And especially when my dad starts getting huffy about Prices or Artists He Doesn’t Like, I tell him “that’s the beauty of capitalism. they have a product to sell and the freedom of expression if you don’t like it you don’t have to buy it.”

Might not work for everyone but dad’s KRYPTONITE especially is saying “but dad that’s capitalism! You LOVE capitalism!” And he either has to stop complaining or admit capitalism is bad and so far I haven’t lost

[doggirlhen]

they should make shopping for cables easier i think. there should be a service where you pick the ends, you pick the length of cable, you pick the like. color and texture of the cable (shitty plastic, nicely woven, bare metal, whatever) and then they make it and ship it to you for a reasonable fee

[stuckinapril]

Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything

[neurospicyyy]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever