#and it feels more accomplishing to write something I’m really proud of

[neon-danger]

Does it ever bother you that you write so much but there are so few readers of us? You deserve so much more praise.

Y’all are gonna make my ego bigger than it already is

[bandsanitizer]

my second listen with lyrics in front of me of 5sos5 has made me decide this is my favorite 5sos album. the focus on growth that this album tackles and the storyline that the lyrics paint of that concept—of different obstacles in life, the relatable struggle with identity but also the aspects of it so specific to the band—I think they beautifully captured the dizzying feeling figuring yourself out can create, especially as you navigate the relationships in your life.

I think the album also reflects the band very well sonically, with a clearer sound imo that says 5sos. something that takes their inspirations and influences and interests, and couples it with their own art and vision. lyrically and vocally it’s just some of their strongest work yet. while I think the “the feeling of falling upwards” captures the experience of the album’s feeling, I do think the palindrome of 5sos5 captures how much the album reflects on them and their careers, but also looks a bit towards the future.

and in the carousel idea of them being on a spinning ride called life, the full circle idea that a palindrome can represent is fitting for the album. so while I still hope for the day 5sos gives us the kind of album title that the feeling of falling upwards could’ve been, I’m very happy with 5sos5 and so incredibly proud of them. whether it’s the vocals or songwriting or instrumentation or concept or production, this album really is their best yet

[whumpinggrounds]

Overused Disability Tropes

Woohoo here we go. I expect this one to be a bit more controversial because I am using specific media as examples. I would really prefer if, when critiquing this post, you avoid defending specific media, and focus instead on what’s actually being said/represented about disabled communities. If you feel I’ve done a really grave injustice, you can come into my askbox/DMs/replies to talk to me about it, but I might not answer.

One more time: I am not interested in getting into a debate about whether something is a good show/movie/book/whatever. I’m not telling you it’s bad, or that you shouldn’t enjoy it! People can like whatever they want; I am only here to critique messaging. Do not yell at me about this.

Newest caveat aside, let’s get into it!

Inspiration Porn

Without a doubt, our biggest category! Term coined in 2012 by badass activist Stella Young, but the trope has been around for literal centuries. There are a few different kinds that I will talk about.

Disabled character/person is automatically noble/good because of their disability. A very early example would be A Christmas Carol’s Tiny Tim, or, arguably, Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Real life examples include the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon, or children’s hospital ads that exploit sad-eyed kids with visible illness or disability.

Having a disability does not automatically make you a kind/angelic/noble person. This many not seem harmful, and may even seem positive, but in reality, it is condescending, inaccurate, and sets bizarre standards for how disabled people should behave.

This portrayal is often intended to elicit pity from abled audiences, which is also problematic.

In these portrayals, disability is not something to be proud of or identify with, only something to be suffered through.

Disabled character person does something relatively mundane and we all need to celebrate that. This is less common in writing, but happens in the real world when people do things like post pictures of disabled people at the gym captioned “What’s your excuse?”

This is condescending, and implies that anything disabled people are capable of, abled people are automatically capable of.

Makes it seem like it’s an incredible feat for a disabled person to accomplish tasks.

Uses people’s actual lives and actual disabilities as a reminder of “how good abled life is.”

The “Supercrip” stereotype is a specific kind of inspiration porn in which disabled people are shown to be capable of amazing things, “in spite of” their disability.

The Paralympics have been criticized for this, with people saying that advertisements and understandings of the Paralympics frame the athletes as inspiring not because they are talented or accomplished, but because their talents and accomplishments are seen as “so unlikely.”

Other examples include the way we discuss famous figures like Stephen Hawking, Alan Turing, or even Beethoven. Movies like The Theory of Everything and The Imitation Game frame the subjects’ diagnoses, whether actual or posited, as limitations that they had to miraculously break through in order to accomplish what they did. Discussions of Beethoven’s deafness focus on how incredible it was that he was able to overcome it and be a musician despite what is framed as a tragic acquisition of deafness.

The pity/heroism trap is a concise way of defining inspiration porn. If the media you’re creating or consuming inspires these emotions, and only these emotions, around disability, that is a representation that is centered on the feelings and perceptions of abled people. It’s reductive, it’s ableist, and it’s massively overdone.

Disabled Villains

To be clear, disabled people can and should be villains in fiction. The problem comes when disabled people are either objects of pity/saintly heroes, or villains, and there is no complexity to those representations. When there is so little disabled rep out there (less than 3.5% of characters in current media), having a disabled villain contributes to the othering of disability, as well as the idea that disability can make someone evil. There are also a few circumstances in which particular disabilities are used to represent evil, and I’ll talk about how that’s problematic. 

Mentally ill villains are colossally overdone, particularly given that mentally ill people are more likely to be the victims of violence than perpetrators of it.  This is true of all mental illness, including “””scary””” things like personality disorders or disorders on the schizoaffective spectrum. Mental illness is stigmatized enough without media framing mentally ill people as inherently bad or more suspectible to evil. This prejudice is known as sanism.

Explicit fictional examples of this include the Joker, or Kevin Wendell Crumb in Split.

People can also be coded as mentally ill without it being explicitly stated, and that’s also problematic and sanist. In the Marvel movie Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness, Wanda’s appearance and behavior are coded as mentally ill. This is used to make her “creepy.” Horror movies do this a lot - mental illness does not render someone creepy, and should not be used as a tool in this way.

Visible disability or difference to indicate evil is another common, incredibly offensive, and way overdone trope. This is mostly commonly done through facial difference, and the examples are endless. These portrayals equate disability or disfigurement with ugliness, and that ugliness with evil. It renders the disabled villain in question an outcast, undesirable, and uses their disability or difference to dehumanize these characters and separate them from others. This is incredibly prevalent and incredibly painful for people with visible disability or facial difference.

An example of visible disability indicating evil is Darth Vader’s prosthetics and vastly changed physical appearance that happen exactly in time with his switch to the dark side. In contrast, when Luke needs a prosthetic, it is lifelike and does not visually separate him from the rest of humanity/the light.

Dr. Who’s John Lumic is another example of the “Evil Cripple” trope.

Examples of facial difference indicating evil range from just about every James Bond movie, to Scar in the Lion King, Dr. Isabel Maru in Wonder Woman, Taskmaster in Black Widow, Captain Hook in Peter Pan, and even Doofenschmirtz-2 in Phineas and Ferb the Movie. Just because some of the portrayals are silly (looking at you, Phineas and Ferb) doesn’t make the coding of facially scarred villains any less hurtful.  

A slightly different, but related phenomenon I’ll include here is the idea of the disability con. This is when a character fakes a disability for personal gain. This represents disabled people as potential fakers, and advances the idea that disabled people get special privileges that abled people can and should co-opt for their own reasons. 

In The Usual Suspects, criminal mastermind Verbal Clint fakes disability to avoid suspicion and take advantage of others. In Arrested Development, a lawyer fakes blindness in order to gain the sympathy and pity of the jury.

In much more complex examples such as Sharp Objects, a mother with Munchausen by proxy fakes her daughter’s illness in order to receive attention and pity. Portrayals like this make Munchausen or MBP seem more common than it is, and introduce the idea that parents may be lying or coaching their children to lie about necessary medical treatment.

Disability as Morality

Sometimes, the disabled character themselves is a moral lesson, like Auggie in Wonder. Sheerly through existing, Auggie “teaches” his classmates about kindness, the evils of bullying, and not judging a book by its cover. This also fits well under inspiration porn. This is problematic, because the disabled character is defined in terms of how they advance the other characters’ morality and depth.

In the “Disabled for a Day” trope, an otherwise abled character experiences a temporary disability, learns a moral lesson, and is restored to full ability by the end of the episode/book/movie. Once again, disability is used as a plot device, rather than a complex experience, along with more permanent disability being rejected as impossible for heroes or main characters.

Examples include an episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye is temporarily blinded, an episode of Law and Order: SVU where Elliott Stabler is temporarily blinded, and an episode of Criminal Minds where Agent Hotchner experiences temporary hearing loss.

Real life examples include sensitivity trainings where participants are asked to wear a blindfold, headphones, or use a wheelchair for a given amount of time. This does not impart the lived experience of disability. It should not be used as a teaching tool. 

Disabled people as inherently pure. This is related to inspiration porn and disabled people as noble, but is different in that it is usually appears in combination with developmental, cognitive, or intellectual disabilities. These characters are framed as sweet, “simple,” and a reminder to other characters to be cheerful, happy, or grateful.

Examples include Forrest Gump, Rain Man, I Am Sam, and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

No matter what the stereotypes of a given diagnosis are (yes, I’m thinking of the automatic cheerfulness associated with Down Syndrome), disabled people have personalities. They are capable of being sad, angry, sarcastic, irritable, annoying - any number of things beyond good/sweet/pure. It is reductive to act otherwise.

Disability as Surreal

Less common than some of the others, but still worth thinking about!

Disabled characters are framed as mystical, magical, or other than human, a condition that is either created by or indicated through their disability status. This is especially common with little people.

“Disability superpower” is when a character compensates for, or is uniquely able to have a superpower because of, their disability. Common tropes include the Blind Seer, Blind Weapon Master, Genius Cripple and Super Wheel Chair.

Examples include Pam from Supernatural, Charles Xavier from X-Men, or the grandpa in Spy Kids.

Disability as Undesirable

Last and least favorite category here. Let’s go.

Disabled people as asexual or not sexually desirable. Disabled people can be asexual, obviously. When every portrayal is asexual, that’s a big problem. It frames disabled people as sexually undesirable or implies that it is impossible for people with disabilities to have rewarding, mutually satisfying sexual relationships.

Examples include The Fault in Our Stars or Artie in Glee.

Abandoned due to disability. Hate this trope. Often equates disability with weakness. Don’t want to talk about it. It’s all right there in the title. Don’t do it.

Examples: Quasimodo in Hunchback of Notre Dame, several kittens in the Warrior Cat series, several episodes of Law and Order: SVU, Bojack Horseman, and Vikings.

Discussed in 300 and Wolf of Wall Street.

Ancient cultures and animal nature are often cited as reasoning for this trope/practice. This is not founded in fact. Many ancient civilizations, including Sparta, cared for disabled people. Many animals care for disabled young. These examples should not be used to justify modern human society.

Disabled characters are ostracized for disability. Whether they act “““normal”““ or odd, characters with visible or merely detectable disabilities are treated differently.

Examples include pretty much every piece of media I’ve said so far. This is particularly prevalent for people with visible physical disabilities or neurodivergence. Also particularly prevalent for characters with albinism.

This is not necessarily an inaccurate portrayal - disabled people face a lot of discrimination and ableism. It is, however, very, very common.

Bury your disabled. What it says on the label.

Examples: Animorphs, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, American Horror Story, Criminal Minds, Dr. Who, Star Trek, The Wire.

Mercy killing is a subtrope of the above but disgusting enough that it deserves its own aside. I may make a separate post about this at some point because this post is kind of exhausting and depressing me.

Examples: Me Before You, Killing Eve, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Of Mice and Men, and Million Dollar Baby.

Disability-negating superpowers imply that disability is undesirable by solving it supernaturally instead of actually portraying it, and giving their character powers instead.

Examples include (arguably) Toph from Avatar: the Last Airbender, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Legend of Korra, Dr. Strange, and Daredevil.

Overcoming disability portrays disability as a hindrance and something that can be defeated through technology and/or willpower.

Fictional examples include WALL-E, Kill Bill, The Goonies, The Dark Knight Trilogy, Heidi, The Secret Garden, The Inheritance Cycle, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, The Big Bang Theory, Dr. Strangelove, Sherlock, The Witcher.

Real life examples include videos of wheelchair users standing from their chair to walk down the aisle at a wedding, or d/Deaf children “hearing” for the first time through cochlear implants.

What Does This Mean for Your Writing?

First of all, congratulations for making it this far!

Now, as I have said again and again, I’m not going to tell you what to write. I’ll ask some questions to hopefully help guide your process.

What tropes might you be playing into when writing disabled characters? Why do you find these tropes compelling, or worth writing about? How prevalent are these tropes? How harmful are they? What messages do they send to actual disabled people?

Just because they are common tropes does not mean they are universally awful. Cool fantasy or futuristic workarounds are not necessarily bad rep. Showing the ugly realities of ableism is not necessarily bad rep. It’s just a very, very common representation of disability, and it’s worth thinking about why it’s so common, and why you’re writing it.

As always, conduct your own research, know your own characters and story, and make your own decisions. If you have questions, concerns, or comments, please hit me up! Add your own information! This is not monolithic whatsoever.

Happy writing!

[only-lonely-star]

Your recent fic of the Soda mishap is my new fav fic of the outsiders! It was so funny with just the right amount of angst!

Could I request a fic with a sister reader who is the youngest curtis and develops separation anxiety with Soda after the two of them were in a little fender bender? Neither were hurt but it brought up memories of their parents dying and she can't shake off the thought that Soda not being in her eyesight means he's gone too? She refuses to sleep in her own room goes with him to work (it's summer holidays so school isn't a factor) and anytime he showers she stands outsode the bathroom door asking if he's okay periodically. Just a big emotional breakdown if she happens to get separated from him? I hope that makes sense!

Thanks you!

☁︎ The Accident ☁︎

~ Sodapop Curtis ~

Warnings - Minor car accident, mentions of death, separation anxiety

Summary - You couldn’t imagine losing Sodapop.

Author’s Note - THIS REQUEST WAS MWAH!! CHEF’S KISS! 😽 I’m very proud of this one. It took me longer to write since I got a bit carried away, so I apologize for the long wait. I couldn't bring myself to make the ending sad, so I hope you all like how I closed the story. Thank you so much for requesting, enjoy it my loves !!

Word Count - 3.3k.

»——•——« »——•——« »——•——« »——•——«

You kicked back, finally able to rest after a long morning spent dipping in the lake with your older brother, Sodapop. It was summer break, so what better way to spend the day than being under the sun - swimming and shoving him around in the cool, crisp water? Your oldest brother, Darrel, still had work, even over the summer. Your third oldest brother, Ponyboy, decided he'd rather spend some time with his friends. Being the empath he is, Sodapop decided to drive you down to the lake to ensure you didn't feel left out. He loved spending quality time with you either way - he quite enjoyed your company.

Feet on the dashboard, you turned up the radio and sang along. You could practically feel the funky music thumping in your chest. The bass could be heard a mile away, causing Sodapop to let out a chuckle. "Havin' fun?" he asked, his eyes drifting to see you smile bigger than he ever had since the accident.

You nodded vigorously, a few stray droplets of water that remained on the ends of your hair flying onto Sodapop, dampening his skin. "Of course!" you beamed, removing your feet off the dashboard as you leaned back into your seat.

He gave a head nod of accomplishment at that. Sodapop was glad to have taken you out for a fun time for once. He would have to return to the DX again tomorrow morning, the cycle repeating all over again. "Glad we went swimmin', we could go next weekend or something too y'know..." he suggested, a grin on his lips not faltering once as he offered another trip down to the lake.

You gasped, already looking forward to it. "Really? Like - you'll actually take me again?" you asked, needing the last bit of reassurance before you could truly accept the offer.

He nodded once more, stopping at a red light to gently swat your shoulder with his knuckles. "'Course I'll take you again."

He earned another grin from you at that, proud of himself once more. Sodapop's eyes darted for the rearview mirror, noticing a red Pontiac Firebird riding up on the back of their car. "Well damn, you gonna slow down?" he asked aloud, a slight bit of annoyance in his voice. The car must have been going at least fifteen miles per hour right at the red light. You hadn't paid much attention to it until you noticed Sodapop's eyes go wide. The 'deer in headlights' gaze is the only right way you could describe it. Sodapop cursed under his breath once more, holding his hand out to press against your chest. The sound of screeching breaks against the road scared the both of you as you jerked forward. Sodapop's arm prevented you from moving around that much, but there was still an impact. You slowly opened your eyes, recovering from a wince you hadn't even realized was in effect.

"The fuck - ?!" he hollered, rolling down the window before slamming his hand onto the horn and holding it there to express his anger. Road rage was one thing, but this was totally different. Sodapop rarely acted out on his anger, let alone follow through with it and stick his hand out of the window just to flip him off.

You sat there, breath hitched in your throat as you momentarily dissociated whilst staring at the dashboard.

This was all too familiar for you. ‘The Accident’ is what still haunts the four of you to this day. Having both of your parents wind up in an auto wreck sure wasn’t on your bucket list at all.

It was the sound of the car nearly crashing that frightened you. The fact you could have obtained the same fate as your parents was such a big fear you’d been attempting to hide since the accident. What you dreaded the most was losing your brothers. Put in a life or death situation - you’d hand over your life in an instant if it would ensure your siblings would be safe.

It wasn’t until you realized you and Sodapop were pulled over with that same Pontiac behind you. Slowly returning to reality, the bearded man with salt and pepper-colored hair had his arms resting on the now rolled-down window. “She alright?” he asked, his eyes fixated on you. Your dazed expression had been permanently marked onto your face.

Sodapop scanned your face for any other emotion, but couldn't seem to detect any. He quickly turned back to the man, brushing him off. “She’s a little spooked, she’ll be alright.”

He gave a slight shrug and waved the both of you off. Sodapop immediately placed a hand on your shoulder and shook your upper half. “Gave me some cash to fix the damage…it ain’t too bad, the back is a little dented and some paint got scratched off - but that’s about it,” he explained in an attempt to snap you back to reality.

Your eyes scanned the road, still busy with vehicles buzzing around everywhere you look. Listening was easy, but trying to comprehend his words while your mind raced with panic was a difficult task.

“You sure look out of it,” he commented, moving the gearshift to head home. There was an underlying tone of concern you could easily hear in his voice.

Squirming around in your seat, you found a better position where you could see the road ahead, clear as day. Feeling paranoid was an understatement. “No, no, I’m fine,” you assured him, all the confidence you could muster coming into play. You couldn’t stand the thought of worrying him even further with your newfound state of shock.

The car turned at an intersection, a red Corvette coming at you from the left side. It was as if your body just knew what to do - curling up into a ball as your eyes closed shut. The car isn’t going to hit you. This is how normal cars drive. You weren’t hurt. Stop.

“Why are you all jumpy with me? You ain’t in any danger,” Sodapop piped up, noticing your flinch at the sight of the Corvette. “Calm down a bit, will ya?” he teased light-heartedly, unaware of the true conflict inside your mind.

“Sorry…” you mumbled in response, pushing down any remaining feelings of apprehension. “That car, Soda -…” the crack in your voice said it all, “Just scared me a bit, I guess I just don't want you to… to end up like Mom and Dad.”

The car became eerily silent, the only noise being the zooming of cars outside. The accident was a touchy subject for both of you - Darrel and Ponyboy as well. Just talking about it always darkened the mood.

“No. You’re safe, I ain’t ever gonna let anything like that happen to you,” he assured you, his voice thick with tension. He seemed to grasp onto the wheel tighter as he pulled over just outside your home. “You hear me? It ain’t happening.”

For once, he was stern. Sodapop was never stern nor agitated with you, he was always bubbly and grinning. You knew the mention of your deceased mother and father had triggered it. The accident may have been months ago, but the damage was nowhere near repaired.

“I hear you,” you mumbled shamefully, opening the car door and shutting it behind you swiftly. You stood with your hand rubbing onto your arm. The body language represented was one of dread and concern, but somehow relief. Relief that Sodapop was still standing before you - even if he was completing a mundane task.

Sodapop shut the car door as he hauled the bag of wet bathing suits through the gate and towards the front door. You followed, not once letting him out of your sight. You watched as he set the bag near the bathroom door. “Darry and Pony ain’t home yet, better shower before they come back,” he suggested, offering you first dibs with the shower.

You shook your head and stood underneath his arm, seeking some bit of comfort. “No, uh - I’ll do it later,” the words nervously fell from your tongue.

Sodapop ruffled his fingers through your hair, grinning like always. At least something felt normal. “Alright then, shower after me.”

With that, Sodapop waltzed inside the tiled room, unraveling an off-white and awfully tattered towel. Tossing it on the counter, he placed his hand on the doorknob and pushed it closed. You respected the privacy of course, but the pang of paranoia kicked in once more.

“Soda…?” you called out, the sound only a hoarse whisper. No reply.

It was strangely quiet on the other end of the door. No water could be heard running, no background noise of shifting clothes around, nothing. Your hand balled into a fist, the sound of three knocks beckoning him. “Soda, you okay?”

“Yeah…?” Sodapop responded with a confused tone, leaving the boy in deep confusion. “Are you?” he stifled a laugh at the question. He’d been gone a mere few seconds!

“I’m fine,” your voice quivered, exhaling deeply as you slid down the wall. You rested your arms around your knees and sat on the brown wooden flooring. You could practically feel the sadness washing over you. The corners of your lips seemed to subtly droop, your expression now a worried frown. A warm tear escaped from your left eye, leaving you to wonder why you were crying in the first place.

That car could’ve killed you. It could’ve killed Sodapop too - oh god, anyone but him. You couldn’t lose him. First your parents and now your brother - ?”

Wiping the stray tear away, you stood back to your feet and leaned your ear against the door, trying to make out any heavy breathing. The panic set in once more when the running water was the only sound coming from the other end of the door. “Soda, are you alright?”

The knob had been twisted, causing less water to flow from the shower head. “I’m okay - now what in the hell is up with you?” Sodapop demanded as his words echoed through your mind.

Sodapop beginning to feel a bit pestered by you didn’t seem to be an issue, you were at least grateful to have a response. “Nothing…sorry,” you spoke up, giving it a rest for the time being.

The eerie silence only led to the intrusive thoughts of Sodapop no longer being alive. This was torture at its finest. The shower seemed to drag on longer than you would’ve liked.

—————————————————————————

As the day came to a quiet evening, Sodapop had already climbed into bed for the night. Darrel could be found in the kitchen with Ponyboy baking a chocolate cake for tomorrow’s usual breakfast. Clutching your pillow and stuffed bear you’d had since childhood by your side, you crept inside his darkened room. He was lying on his front side, face buried in his pillow. A smile adorned your face once you saw him sleeping peacefully underneath the warm bedding. You tip-toed for Ponyboy’s spot in bed and lifted the corner of the sheets to slide in underneath them. Sodapop stirred and scooted further back toward his side of the bed. His eyes could make out your figure, halfway crawled into bed. “What’re you doin’?”

You were quick to reply, fully laying on your back now that he was awake. “I just wanted to sleep in here tonight…” you shrugged, the stuffed teddy a source of comfort against your chest.

Normally Sodapop would’ve urged it's best for you to not upset Ponyboy by taking his spot in bed. He felt tremendously guilty for earlier’s mention of the accident, it only made him want to ease your concern for his wellbeing. Sodapop could sense the constant fear nagging at you that if he wasn’t with you, he was gone as well. He wasn’t stupid - he was well aware. “Scoot over so there’s room for three,” he sighed softly before pulling your arm closer.

You could feel his lips curled into a loving grin against your hair. It was getting late, so it was a given that Ponyboy would walk in any moment now and settle down for the night. Your back against Sodapop’s chest provided a warm feeling inside. His arm was almost trapping you beside him from how tightly the embrace was. Feeling his heartbeat thumping against your back eased any nervousness that still lingered in your mind.

Sure enough, the hallway lights could be heard flicking off with a quick hit to the switch. A faint ‘goodnight’ was barely audible through the closed wooden door. Ponyboy twisted the knob and saw an unfamiliar shadow beside Sodapop in bed. He groaned once the realization swept over his head that it was you. “Alright, outta my bed,” he commanded with a rather sassy eye roll.

The sheets were flung off of your body as Ponyboy expectantly waited for you to leave. Sodapop squeezed you tighter against himself. “Pony, let her stay.”

Ponyboy scoffed and furrowed his brows in frustration. “Stay - ?! This is our bed, she has her own!”

Sodapop stifled a groan of his own, his hand extending to toss the bedding back over your body. “You’ve got room, either sleep with us or take her bed. It’s just for tonight...”

Ponyboy took one last glance at the two of you before plopping himself down in a huff. “You don’t even need to be here, it ain’t your bed,” he grumbled as he fiddled with the blanket that had been kicked to his side.

You felt guilty enough as is, but now the guilt had grown stronger. You exhaled softly and let your eyes drift shut. “I’m sorry,” is all you could manage to say in response before it turned to a whole meltdown on why you needed to stay close to Sodapop.

Ponyboy’s anger subsided to a calm and aloof demeanor. He was most likely too tired to even argue it anymore.

“I just can’t go back to my room…not when Soda’s all the way in here,” you explained, your voice kept at a quiet whisper. No response from either of them. That sickening feeling of loss had begun to eat you alive yet again now that you lay awake, speaking to your unresponsive brothers.

———————————————————————————

Morning came once again, except this time you weren’t woken up to the bird’s singing outside, or one of your brothers pouncing over your resting body. It was as if your mind already knew that Sodapop had left. Ponyboy too, it was nearly ten o’clock in the morning when the lonely feeling sank back in. You sighed and propped yourself up onto the pillows, using your forearms for support.

A muffled sound escaped your lips, immediately calling for Sodapop. Obviously, he couldn’t hear you behind a closed door. You sprung out of bed, the stuffed bear falling to the floor along with you. With a swift twist of the doorknob, you sprinted down the hallway to catch sight of Ponyboy in the kitchen.

“Soda - Soda - where’s Soda?” you asked frantically, no sign of your two eldest brothers being around.

Ponyboy bit into a mouthful of chocolate cake, not caring to finish chewing before speaking, “Leavin’ for work, why?”

You shook your head without another word and scrambled for the front door, pajamas and all. You saw Sodapop buckling in beside Darrel as he slipped on a shirt. You sprinted towards the car, shouting and pleading for them to wait.

“Soda, Darry!” you called out, your hand smacking the side of the car to stop the vehicle. Darrel looked beyond frustrated to see you causing such a scene. Sodapop was filled with great concern, even as the adrenaline rushing throughout your body masked your fear. He gave a head tilt to signal Darrel to let him handle this.

“I’m here,” he replied in an assertive tone, his empathic eyes feeling every emotion you’ve felt since yesterday’s accident. He understood you better than anyone. Reaching a hand out to pull you closer, his gentle grasp latched onto your wrist. He leaned closer to you and spoke lowly, “You alright, kid? You’re scarin’ us, y’know.”

You nodded. In all honesty, you were okay now that you’d seen Sodapop. It felt like every second spent away from him was hell on earth. He could be hurt, laying out in the street somewhere - dead.

“I’m coming with you,” you insisted, tugging on the backseat door behind Sodapop. It didn’t open. Instead, Darrel’s husky voice backed you away from the handle.

“Coming with us -? No kids allowed, be realistic for once.” Darrel gave you a stern warning that if you didn’t head back indoors then you would never hear the end of it.

Sodapop exhaled sharply and glanced between you both, trying to handle the situation. He locked eyes on you, giving you the same empathic look as before. “Just…” he gave Darrel a wince before facing you again, “You got five minutes to get ready and then we're leaving.”

Your smile reappeared yet again, immediately racing back up the stairs leading to the front door. The sound of your brothers’ voices grew louder even as the distance between you and the car grew. A glimpse of the two arguing caused a bitter pang in your heart. Pushing the feeling away, you darted for the bathroom.

———————————————————————————

“She can stay with me. The DX ain’t in a bad area, she’ll be fine…” Sodapop spoke softly to Darrel, trying to reason as to why you should come along to work with them.

You settled yourself in the vehicle as it began to propel forward. The tension of the previous argument still lingered, but at least Darrel kept quiet as soon as you were in a close enough radius to hear the bickering. He wouldn’t be caught dead speaking of you like that while you were listening.

———————————————————————————

Taking Sodapop’s hand, he led you inside of the gas station in which he worked. You’d been here countless times before, bumming around with your brother’s friends as they smoked and attempted to sweet-talk any girl that passed. Sodapop and Steve never did, they would be fired after receiving complaints for doing such activities. Sodapop would always bend the rules, slipping a few snacks and whatnot into his pocket before leaving work. The DX brought back fond memories even as you stepped inside the front door, a small bell ringing overhead, indicating your entry.

“Now, I ain’t supposed to have company,” Sodapop spoke quietly, holding onto your shoulder and bending down a bit to be eye level with you, “But I couldn’t say no, I just couldn’t.”

Your eyes stung from the tears that dared to form during such a heartfelt moment. Sodapop was aware?

“Soda, I can’t lose you too,” your voice quivered as you quickly closed the distance between one another. Your arms wrapped around his neck, Sodapop immediately reciprocated the hug.

“I know, I know…” he replied as he softly stroked the back of your head, his fingers intertwining with your hair in a soothing motion. “You ain’t losin’ me anytime soon, I can promise you that.”

You willingly let the tears fall from your cheeks, landing on Sodapop’s shoulder which dampened the fabric quite a lot. He didn’t mind at all, in fact - he was glad you were no longer bottling yourself up. You squeezed him tighter, wishing the hug could ensure you’d never lose him. “I love you,” you spat out in a desperate cry.

Sodapop nodded along, the soothing motion of his hand still in effect. “I love you too y’know, a lot,” he said with a delicate tone, one he only used with you. You were his little sister and he would never let anything separate the two of you.

You just don’t stop living because you lose somebody.

It was as if the hug was the one thing you needed - the one thing that could ease your pain. Learning to cope with the death of your parents was by far the most difficult task you’d faced. Memories of the accident only strengthened your love for your brothers, clinging onto them as if you’d lose them next. Living in constant fear, dreading any separation was no healthy way to cope. The only way to cure the feeling of this overwhelming pain was to cherish your brothers like never before. And that’s exactly what you did.

[obviouslacking]

this is wholly embarrassing but i watched h-e double hockey sticks (1999) for the first time last night and, in the midst of my jeric brainrot, it made my mind go ❣️

so i wrote a teensy, terrible ficlet. i gave it a saccharine little title. griffelkin/dave, because of course it is. what are niche fandoms for if not to practice writing bad fanfiction? anyway. this goes out to the folks on jeric twt

the sign on your heart (it's still reserved for me)

aka when hell freezes over

*******************

It was the greatest night of Dave Heinrich’s life. 

He’d just won the Stanley Cup; the girl of his dreams was on his arm and he was enjoying his hard-won victory. Only… something was wrong. Through the lights, and the confetti, and the cheers, he watched as Griffelkin melted away into the crowd. Like he was never there. Like he’d never be seen again — by Dave, anyway. The triumphant grin slipped off his lips. It was cold, suddenly, out there on the ice, in a way the exertion had masked before. Everything he’d just accomplished began to feel… hollow. The only reason he’d managed to achieve anything was because of Griffelkin, chaotic and ridiculous though he was. Because, for some godforsaken reason… he’d believed in Dave.

He’d made him a better person.

What he’d had with Anne had been good. It felt like they had grown up in the rink together. But they’d been chasing after a dead-and-buried version of the past for too long now, blindly gripping to nostalgia instead of moving forward with their lives. It was now clear to him: it was time to set them both free. 

He turned to her with regret, “I’m so sorry, I have to go.” 

She didn’t understand, “Dave, wait—”

He couldn’t. He had to get out of there or else he’d lose his chance entirely. He knew how it looked: Dave Heinrich, the golden boy, leaving the Stanley Cup celebrations — the moment he’d worked towards all his life, the pinnacle of his rising star. He didn’t care. He was proud of his team, proud of himself, but… none of it would feel right until he saw Griffelkin again. Until they got to be proud of what they’d done together. The two of them, their own team.

He had to get him back.

It took hours. He drew pentagrams in chalk on his nicely laminated flooring. He lit candles. He tried ominous chanting, tried reciting an exorcism he thought he saw in a movie once, tried everything he could think of to summon Griffelkin back to him — short of screaming at the sky in despair.

Nothing worked. He was forced to sit himself down by the absolute mess he’d made with a sigh, body still aching from the torture it had endured that day. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Griffelkin had held onto him as he lifted him up onto the sickbay bed. Or the sight of him in his Angels uniform; wearing Dave’s number, Dave’s name. He’d been chasing after the Cup for so long, treading water with his girlfriend for so long… he’d forgotten what that felt like. To have a fire inside you, one that burned for a person. 

If Griffelkin technically counted as a person, anyways. Dave was still a little.. fuzzy on the details. If he thought about it too much, he was sure he’d lose his mind (even more so than he likely already had. Maybe he’d just taken a really hard check out on the ice one day, and this was all some kind of fever dream—)

“What the hell are you doing?”

Jesus Christ!!! Dave had sprung up and away from the sudden intruder in terror before he could even realise it was the intended object of his summonings. Here, at last. Hours after Dave had wanted him. The creature lived to spite him.

Even so, just seeing his face again… Dave needed to say his piece. “I had to talk to you. It wasn’t right, how you just… left, after everything. Why did you just leave?”

Griffelkin was uncharacteristically muted, like all the flair had been drained out of him. “You got everything you wanted. You didn’t need me anymore.”

*******************

Griffelkin was lost. 

He’d come to Earth to be wicked. To do bad deeds. To steal the ever-ripe soul of one Dave Heinrich. He’d never anticipated… everything that had happened after that. Becoming invested in the lives of actual, honest-to-God people, turning against the will of Beelzebub and everything he’d trained for to show compassion… it was entirely out of left field. Or left.. rink… (curse his sudden investment in that stupid game. It was just unnatural).

He’d never anticipated the way something about Dave was just… different. When Griffelkin was with him… he’d never felt like that before. It itched throughout his whole body; like that awful diner food, or the smell of the trees as they polluted his insides. Something horrible like… sunshine, or flowers, or the way Dave would smile breathlessly after he won a game—

Oh, hell.

Griffelkin had done it. He’d gone and fallen in — he took a moment to tamp down the nausea — love with him. The human. His former mark. What on Earth was he going to do? 

Quite literally. He definitely didn’t think Hell would take him back any time soon, and the folks upstairs… well he didn’t know WHAT was going on with them. Gabby was their earthly agent?? She made him look positively angelic by comparison — and that was saying something.

So here he was: stuck topside, having horrendously squishy feelings for someone who would never like him back. Why would he? He’d got the Stanley Cup, got the girl… he didn’t need Griffelkin anymore. Dave’s soul may have been bound to him once, but they’d essentially ripped up everything that had tied them together. Their deal was done. 

If only he’d known sooner… he’d never have got those two back together!! If he'd ensured they'd remained separated, he could have done his buddy Lewis a solid — he wouldn't have had to deal with Dave's impressive ego anymore!! Meanwhile, Griff could have swooped in at just the right moment, offering his soulmate both the shining Cup and his blackened heart on a brimstone platter……

But it was too late. They were all finally happy, at peace; everyone’s souls intact. Hurray! Griffelkin had no choice but to just fade into the background. Leave Dave be. He’d already interfered with his life enough. 

Or so he’d thought.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he was currently standing in Dave’s living room. He’d just felt drawn to the place, something that had never happened before. At least, not without some kind of demonic intervention. Somehow, he didn’t think that was at work here, despite the look of Dave’s once-glossy pad. The space seemed to be covered in… satanic paraphernalia of some kind. 

Aw, he was almost touched. Mildly offended by the amateur job (WHO taught him how to draw a pentagram? And scented candles, really?? Was that glitter over there—) but… touched, nonetheless.

Dave was sitting on the floor, hunched over, still in his jersey from the game. He looked miserable. 

Griffelkin felt that increasingly familiar tremble in his chest. He took it out back and shot it dead. “What the hell are you doing?”

Dave jumped out of his skin at the words. He was so cute when he was being existentially horrified by the forces of Griffelkin’s dark magic. Damn him. He’d failed already (typical, typical, Griff, can’t do anything right). He had to stop thinking of Dave like that, not when he wanted nothing—

“I had to talk to you….. it wasn’t right, how you just…. left. Why did you just leave?”

He… wanted Griff? 

That couldn’t be right. No matter how much it pained him, all he could think to do was be honest: “You got everything you wanted. You didn’t need me anymore.”

Dave seemed distraught, hearing this. Griffelkin had never seen him like that before. He didn’t know what to make of it. He looked… agitated, but not like he was when his hockey career was on the line; sad, but not in the same way as he’d mooned over… whatever her name was. 

He admitted, “I thought that was what I wanted. But then… you weren’t there.” 

No one had ever… cared about Griffelkin before. Was this how the Grinch had felt when his heart grew three sizes bigger? Griff might as well just sprout wings and take up harp-playing, at the notion. He’d never felt so blessed, 

“Aw, Dave, buddy, you missed me? It was my sick moves out on the ice wasn’t it? You just had to come crawling back—”

Dave kissed him. 

*******************

Dave couldn’t listen to that yapping for one more second.

So, he grabbed Griffelkin by the stupid clothes he was still wearing and kissed his stupid evil mouth. It took only a second before he melted into it like he’d been feeling the exact same feverish longing as Dave, silenced by—

Oh, he’d finally shut him up. He should have thought of doing that sooner. 

It felt like a long time coming. It felt like no time at all.

Slowly, he released Griffelkin from his desperate grasp. It took the demon several seconds to blink his eyes open, staring back at him in awe. Well, Dave would feel just terrible if he’d broken him somehow. (Though maybe it would serve him right, just a little bit.) 

Satisfied, he leant back. 

“You gonna stay now? You don’t have anywhere else to be, right? Hell, or the Underworld, or wherever it is you’re from?” He hoped he never found out all the gory details. He suspected he was going to.

Griffelkin was still stunned. His hands twitched where they stayed clinging to the back of Dave’s jersey.  “No, I… I think I’m right where I need to be.”

“Good. ‘Cause I don’t know if you know this, but I just won the Stanley Cup.” He smiled at the thought… what an insane life he was leading. Dave Heinrich: youngest player to ever earn that mythic trophy; currently falling headfirst, circle-after-circle, in love with Hell’s finest.

Griffelkin smiled back at him, a little goofy, joy glimmering in his eyes, “Oh, you did?”

“Uh huh. And I could use some help figuring out where I’m gonna go from here.”

“Right, well…” Griffelkin swallowed. “I might just know a certain devil who’s going through kind of a similar situation right now. He might just take you up on that offer.”

It felt like the proper conclusion to their little adventure: both balancing on the precipice of a new journey. One Dave wanted them to tackle together — no matter how many ridiculous escapades came about as a result. They were just better as a pair. He knew they’d make it work somehow. If there was one thing he’d learned from all this (besides the whole being a selfless team player thing) it was that he could use a little more chaos in his life.

He pretended to mull Griff’s response over. “No contracts required?”

“Actually now that you mention it, I think I might have forgotten a sub-clause back there—” 

Dave kissed him again. Man, that really did work miracles. It was about time he evened the scales a bit, in terms of which one of them was holding power over the other. He had to be careful or it just might go to his head.

They were still standing in the midst of Dave’s embarrassingly terrible pentagram. Luckily, the candles had all been long-extinguished by the time their lips had met, or they would have been facing a serious fire-safety hazard right about then. Dave had come too far to have his life cut short in that blissful moment.

His arms wrapped around the neck of his tormentor, who bound their bodies together with his own embrace in turn. 

At least they wouldn’t be able to sue him for breach of contract: Dave Heinrich’s soul belonged to the demon Griffelkin after all. 

Along with his heart, and mind, and body, and whatever else he decided he wanted along the way. Dave wasn’t fussed in the slightest.

Hell began to thaw.

[tryslora]

learning sentence level editing

It’s no secret that I hate editing.

I’ve told this story before: When I was in high school, I had an English teacher who told us on our first day of sophomore honors English that she would not give an A for a first draft. She had a rigorous outlining/drafting process that she was determined to teach us. Me, I had undiagnosed ADHD and was a dyed-in-the-wool pantser. So I resolved on that first day that by the end of my time with her, I would get an A on a first draft.

My final essay of junior year AP English (yes, same teacher two years in a row), I wrote about Victorian morals and literature. I read it aloud. I got an A. I only ever wrote one draft.

What that taught me was how to write very technically clean drafts, something that has stayed with me for almost four decades now. Which is great!

What it did not teach me was how to be patient enough to properly edit. And I have never really learned. In fact, that is one of my ADHD sticking points (yes, I know, that’s obvious from my reaction to her statement in the story above). I often feel that a large part of the reason I have never made it as a writer—have never broken into tradpub—is because I do not have the patience to not only write, but then create an outline from the draft, then rewrite, then do it all over again and fiddle with each sentence until it’s perfect.

I’m learning, but I’ll admit, I’m still not there, and I’m not sure I ever will be where novels are concerned. 

But right this moment, I’m feeling very accomplished and proud of myself. I had a short story that every time I worked on it, it grew. Every time I cut it, it felt like it lost its heart and like the taste of the words stopped feeling like mine. My voice disappeared.

I had finally worked out a version of it that was just under 7500 words long, and I thought it was decent. It got no traction, and I was frustrated. I put it up for critique on SFFOWW (a critique group site) while I was active there a year and a half ago. It was chosen for an Editor’s Choice review, and the first half of it got some great comments. Which I promptly had to ignore because I was dealing with other editing problems.

I returned to it recently, because I saw a call I wanted to send it to. The problem was, the call was for stories under 6k, and I wasn’t sure I could cut this story again and still retain its punch. But hey. The biggest feedback I got was about how I handled my descriptions and dialog, and the amount of repetition that slipped into my words. So I absorbed that, and I dug into the story, and I started ripping it apart.

I didn’t edit it, exactly, nor did I completely rewrite it. I printed it. I read it twice. Then I placed it on the desk and went a few paragraphs at a time and started with a blank file and filled it in. Some pieces went in verbatim. Most of it changed. Huge chunks disappeared, and a few new things appeared. Some of it got rearranged. The wordiness disappeared.

Here’s an example…

Before:

"You get one hour," Lana says softly. "One hour with him, and then you're leaving him behind. You're taking your fate and you're setting him free."

After:

"One hour," Lana says. "Then take your fate with you and set him free."

The new version of the story came in under 6k. I did it, and the best part is, I don’t hate it. In fact, this was sentence level revision of a style I had never done before. The closest I’ve come to it is editing flash fiction to be under very tiny wordcounts (or drabbles of exactly 100 words, which gods, those take me longer than writing a short fic!).

I’m not sure I could’ve done this without the editing I did for Into the Split over the last many months. I had to dig into that in ways I have never edited a novel before, and it prepared me to dig even more deeply into this short story.

I’m learning. I guess you can teach old dogs some new tricks.

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

(A new form of) WIP Wednesday ?

(Life is a) Work In Progress -Wednesday!

Thank you for tagging me @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @emsprovisions @nisbanisba very much congrats on the works published, some I absolutely loved, some I’m beyond excited to read!!

Sorry that this isn’t actual writing of mine, but an update in my life-is-a-work-in-progress that I posted for a Seven Sentence Sunday a while back and promised to update on (mostly for my own sake) - even if I tagged you, if you don’t want to read my personal ramblings or participate, feel free to keep on scrolling!!☺️

(OR if anyone wants to, consider this as encouragement to also share something for WIP Wednesday that YOU have either accomplished, look forward to or want to accomplish in the near future for WIP Wednesday !!☺️✨)

These were 7 sentences of things I was looking forward to and working on, but hadn’t yet accomplished a couple of/maybe one and a half months ago:

1) “Guys, I just bought my first binder !”

I did go an buy my first binder, and it was a wonderful experience! I found a physical store in my home time that sold them, and the staff was incredibly nice and knowledgeable and helpful and gave me great advice (if you don’t have access to that where you are, and want to know more, I’d be happy to share it.)

My good friend went with me! The effect was so cool to experience, it felt very great and affirming, and like taking a new step in discovering and being my self - which is a current project of mine that I was happy to act on more and start! My friend got all moved, which was really nice and touching🥹

2) “And the woman with the pretty smile that I danced with at the concert a few weeks ago replied and we’re going on a date🥰”

She did reply! I had been bad at replying to her and after I did, I waited for awhile with no response. I also felt like I had been not very initiative-taking and not very interesting to text with, as my life was very in exam- and stress mode. I decided to show initiative and wrote to her, addressing those things in my message, and she responded really positively, and we begun to find a time for a date! It was supposed to be tomorrow, but today she actually cancelled, explaining that she has been seeing someone over the last month (although nothing exclusive) and she had started to feel serious about and felt she wanted to give that a chance, and so that it wouldn’t be fair to me or that situation, to go on the date. I am actually very okay with that, it was nice that she was so honest and I wished her luck and we ended it on a really nice and respectful note! I’m proud of myself for taking the initiative and not backing out either actively or passively, even though I was very nervous and haven’t dated in a long time! I feel I’m ready to get back in the game and have discovered and been reminded of things that will contribute positively to that!☺️

3) “I handed in my exam before the deadline so now I get to keep my income.”

I sure did!! And I made a new friend along the way. Thank you endlessly to my accountability buddy who I was messaging with the whole night bc of the gift of different time zones while trying to get it done in time @emsprovisions !! I would send you a bunch of flowers if I could💐💐💐 and to desi @herefortarlos for also cheering me on and giving great advice to go touch grass!!!💗💗

This process up until that night was hellish and led me to seriously doubt whether I would make it on time, along with other stuff connected to my mental health and self worth. I’m so relieved and proud that it went okay!!!

3) “And also go to the Diana Ross concert I’ve been looking forward to and have fun without any stress for the first time in the last year!”

She was AMAZING!!! 80 year old Queen of Funk still had it in her I was equally amazed and grateful to experience her.

4) “And otherwise just enjoy the rest of the summer before the semester starts☀️☺️”

I did get some good times with friends and family for sure! It wasn’t everything I’d hoped for bc I was so burned out after my exam, but I feel content and satisfied with the amount of summer vacation in my home town that I managed to have before the semester and fall started🌞🌞

5) “I’ve unpacked all my moving boxes, found my power cable for the TV and picked up my new bike in replacement for the one that was stolen.”

Yep! I love my new little home that is now unpacked and feels lived-in🥰

6) “So now I will sit down in my finished living room after a long day of biking around and enjoying the city in summer and start rewatching Lone Star (again) in preparation for the s5 premiere that is getting closer by the minute!!”

Have been out biking, have sat down in my unpacked living room and watched LS, and am still currently rewatching!! I will need to do some binging to get through all 4 seasons before the premiere which is right around the corner !!! 😬 love rewatching though, I am having so many new thoughts and feelings still after watching so many times so it’s been healing these days as well, to know that it won’t be my last rewatch after the show ends!

7) Whoo!🥳”

That feeling certainly comes and goes, but such is life, I acknowledge😌😌

Sorry and thank you to anyone who made it this far, I’m just really happy that I can actually cross all these things off my list! I struggle a bit with memory and time awareness and I often stress more about new things than remind myself of what I’ve accomplished so I wanted to actually bring this back!

I encourage anyone whether you have writing to share or or not and who wants to (including those of you who’ve already posted a WIP today!) to share some things that you are either working on, wanting to accomplish in the near future, or have accomplished lately and are happy about/proud of!! ✨✨

Call it a new way to participate in WIP tag games, if you will, whether you have writing to share or not☺️

Tagging some people under the cut in case you want to do the same thing, and also some people who responded to my Seven Sentence Sunday so they see the update!:

@carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @thisbuildinghasfeelings @alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet @literateowl @ladytessa74 @herefortarlos @emsprovisions @whatsintheboxmh @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @carlos-tk @pimento-playing-hopscotch @captain-gillian @nancys-braids @corsage @tailoredshirt @nisbanisba @lightningboltreader

[wing-ed-thing]

Konoha 12 with Children Going Through the Same Trauma They Did

Tags/Warnings: Body Image Issues, Grief, Mental Health Topics, Reader Insert, No Reader Pronouns, Mild Physical Abuse (Sorry Sasuke would punt you)

Notes: Boruto who? BORUTO DOESN’T EXIST FOR THESE HEADCANONS.

𓆃 Choji - Body Image

Easily the best at knowing what to say. He’s been struggling with his body image his entire life and has a wonderful grasp on what health specific to his clan looks like.

Choji strives to make topics surrounding weight and body shape normal and neutral in the household, so if you're asking about weight, it’s because some other stupid kid said something.

You are always reminded of your spirit, skills, and capacity for kindness rather than your looks.

Choji ensures that your home is a positive and safe place to talk about anything.

𓆃 Hinata - Finding a Voice

Hinata has always been a very patient person and knows how hard it is to break out of one’s shell. As a parent, she provides a space for you to be heard and to feel safe.

Hinata believes that you can’t force things when it comes to your growth and tries to nurture you until you have the strength to do it on your own.

Not to say that she doesn’t give a little push now and then. Hinata herself always regretted the amount of time it took for her to take chances and be vulnerable with friends, so she gives gentle nudges and reassurance when she can.

𓆃 Ino - Normalcy and Loss

A part of Ino always wanted to be a normal girl. There was a balance between civilian life and shinobi life that she couldn’t quite strike, especially when responsibility was thrust onto her so young.

She’ll want to go out with you often, whether it’s getting sweet drinks, getting your nails painted, asking for the friend-group gossip, or other fun activities. 

A part of her craves getting more of those experiences in her youth, but she very much wants you to have those experiences for yourself and to have a consistent parent who “gets you.”

She definitely tries too hard at times— it’s embarrassing sometimes— but she means well.

𓆃 Kiba - Bein’ a Guy

Kiba always had a loud bark, but when it came down to it, he didn’t meet all the goals he intended to meet. 

Being the energetic guy he is, he will be rooting for you from day one. Sometimes, you feel he gets more excited about projects and accomplishments than you. 

Kiba is always celebrating you and always bragging about you. He’s proud of you that you have goals— big or small— but more than anything, he wants you to live your life in a way that makes you happy.

If you’re happy, Kiba is dragging you out for celebratory ice cream.

𓆃 Lee - Bullying and Inadequacy 

Ehm. I mean, he means well?

You see, Gai took a very tough love approach with Lee meaning that Lee thinks if you push hard enough, you’ll find fulfillment... and that’s not for everyone. 

He’s also not great with his words. Every so often, he’ll say something encouraging, but sometimes he’s just emotionally clueless. 

If anything, you’ll always be celebrated for your uniqueness and what makes you you. 

Lee genuinely wants only what’s best for you; his pure intentions are always clear. 

𓆃 Naruto - Isolation

Poor Naruto, seeing you isolated would probably make him so sad. And angry, for that matter! Naruto isn’t above punting some jerk kid who made you mad (which probably isn’t great for the Hokage).

He’s a little goofy in the sense that he’ll probably take an over-interest in the things you enjoy. He’ll insist that you do things that interest you together.

He’s also really into pep talks and giving unsolicited advice (that probably isn’t really that great).

Naruto would totally give you pocket money to enjoy a meal if he’s busy.

𓆃 Neji - Unfair Family Dynamic

Well, first of all, Neji isn’t letting this happen. 

I’m struggling to write a headcanon because Neji wouldn’t allow this. He wouldn’t allow the secondary-branch stuff to happen.

He’d be a fierce advocate for you, even before birth. But Neji is such a grumpy dad. The affection is there; it’s just through action.

He’s also not very good with words, so the affirmation is straightforward, but he would go to war for you.

𓆃 Sakura - Inadequacy

Your two best friends are also gods, huh? Sakura knows how that is, and she’s probably picked up on it before you tell her. 

She’s reticent about things and always seems to tell you exactly what you need at that moment. Sakura is very encouraging, helping you problem-solve to figure out what your strengths and passions are.

She suggests that you pursue those, admiring your accomplishments, whether big or small.

𓆃 Sasuke - Having your family murdered in front of your very own eyes Going Down a Troubled Path

Yikes. Don’t go down a Troubled Path ™ while Sasuke is around.

I’m sorry. If you tried to leave the village, Sasuke wouldn’t be above punting you. I’m just the messenger.

Sasuke would be there for you, or at least try to, but as another shinobi who’s not great with words, he’d usually end up looming. 

Maybe there are times when he can see your anger, and you can achieve a nice, quiet moment with him, but Sasuke will drag you out of darkness no matter what it takes.

𓆃 Shikamaru - Losing a Sensei

Shikaku knew best, and that’s what Shikamaru does with you. He’s straight to the point, not very into hugs or anything like that, but he does have an eye on you emotionally. 

Shikamaru already knows, and he drives straight to the point, unarming you so that you have a space to feel your grief. 

𓆃 Shino - Losing a Sibling-like Person

Another quiet Dad. He just wants what’s best for you too. 

It’s all about the memories and the momentos. Shino would encourage you to cope and heal at your own rate but not forget the person important to you.

Shino would be there with you in your grief but ensure the focus remained on you. You would have space, and Shino would show his love and support through small gestures. 

𓆃 Tenten - Bein’ a Gal

Tenten stuck a nice balance in her life, and she wants to pass that on to you too! Maybe you’re not the flashiest ninja in your grade, but Tenten is already working with you on a strategy on how to improve that thing you like!

Never for a second has Tenten treated you like something to be overlooked. Anything you want to do, you do!

Zero hesitation. Mention one idea to her; she’s already helping you put it in motion. To her, there’s nothing worth overlooking in the first place.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[remy-white]

Theme: They hate everyone.. but you? (With dialogue)

1. "I can't stand these company events; it’s just too much noise and too many people."

"Then why don't we find a quieter spot? Just over here."

(A little later on)

"I didn’t expect that conversation to change how I felt today, but it did."

"I’m just glad I could help you escape the crowd for a bit."

2. "Everything today is too loud, too close, too much. I'm at my limit!"

"Hey, let’s get out of here. There's a quiet park nearby."

(A little later on)

"Sitting here, away from the chaos, I can finally breathe. Thanks for knowing what I needed."

"No problem. I’m here whenever you need to escape."

3. "This dinner party is driving me insane. I don’t fit in here at all."

"Let’s make our own fun. How about a game of word association?"

(A little later on)

"I didn’t think I could enjoy tonight, but our little game made it bearable."

"Seeing you smile made my night too."

4. "This group project is a disaster. Does no one care about efficiency anymore?"

"Let me help. We'll streamline this and play to your strengths."

(A little later on)

"I have to admit, the project turned out better than I expected, thanks to you."

"I knew we could do it. Your ideas really drove it home."

5. "Great, now my car breaks down in the rain—what else could go wrong today?"

"Need a lift? I've got an umbrella and some time to kill."

(A little later on)

"I was ready to write off today, but somehow, you turned it around."

"A rainy rescue mission turned adventure? Always better with company."

6. "I don't get why people can't just enjoy their coffee in silence without making a fuss."

"Mind if I join you? Brought this book I think you'll like."

(A little later on)

"Discussing that book was the first time today I didn’t feel surrounded by idiots."

"Books have a way of bringing the right people together, don’t they?"

7. "I just want everyone to leave me alone right now. I can't deal with any more fake sympathy."

"I won't talk. I brought dinner, and we can just sit, okay?"

(A little later on)

"I didn’t know how much I needed this. Just... thank you."

"Sometimes silence speaks louder than words."

8. "Why can't anyone here see my point? Am I the only one not insane?"

"Actually, I think you’re onto something. Let me explain why your idea works."

(A little later on)

"I was close to losing it, but you stepping in... that meant a lot."

"I've got your back. It was a good plan, and you deserved the credit."

9. "I'm not up for seeing anyone this week. I just need some space."

"I understand. Just know I'm here, okay? I'll text you a little encouragement each day."

(A little later on)

"Your texts have been little lifelines. I looked forward to them more than I thought I would."

"I'm glad they helped. Remember, I'm just a text away."

10. "All these congratulations feel so hollow. No one really saw the effort I put in."

"I saw it. What you accomplished was nothing short of amazing."

(A little later on)

"Hearing that from you, it’s the first time today I felt truly recognized."

"You deserve it, every bit of praise. I'm really proud of you."

[cdmagic1408]

Hey peeps, Quest Masters, followers, and all!

I know I've been gone for like...a YEAR. Life's been super crazy, you have NO idea. But not gonna get into all that. Just gonna say I’ve been good, been healing, then really good, happy, and off social media (it’s never really been my thing, so…) 😄

But I promise you I'm not dead! Rather, I've come back from the dead to say that I looked at today's date and just so happened to realize— OMG! It has been exactly three years since I published the first chapter of my Onward fan-novel, If You Trust Me! Wow!

I have found myself in other fandoms as an observer in this last year (maybe I’ll share what they are someday, but not yet), but first, I just wanna say that Onward is still my favorite Pixar film AND my favorite film ever, that hasn’t changed. I still think about it everyday and love it very much. But yeah, I have moved on to other things these days…

Second, and most importantly— I have decided that today, on the anniversary of IYTM’s publishing phase, I wanted to make a very teeny tiny adjustment to its title…

I have always called it, If You Trust Me - An Onward Fanfiction. But in the now-three years since I first shared this story with you all, I’ve come to realize that it really is much more than just a fanfiction—it’s a fan-NOVEL. 33 chapters, plus a prologue and a mid-credits scene. A year and a half to write. A story I wanted to make as authentic as possible to the world of Onward we know and love. It is no mere fanfic.

That said, I hereby rename the long title of this story to If You Trust Me - An Onward Fan-Novel! And to my fellow QMs, if any of you are still out there and reading this, I have you all to thank for it. You guys were the first to really call it a "fan-novel" in the first place, and now in official type, it IS a fan-novel! I know we’ve all kinda moved on and everything, but seeing as it's been a while, I just wanna take the time to thank you all for being there for me in the Onward era of my life. You know who you are. Whenever I look back on all the times we had together, I think of only the good times. There were many good, if not great, things we did and accomplished together as a fellowship and I'll never forget that. As rough as life is and as strange as this world is and will continue to be, I can confidently say now that after taking some time, I only see the good in what we experienced in the end ❤️‍🔥

Lastly, there really aren’t enough words or thanks I can give to show how grateful I am of this fan-novel. Writing it, publishing it, having it read, shared, liked, and all that. I haven’t forgotten about that either.

I am still very proud of this story, and always will be. It helped me grow as a writer, and it was something I wanted to do for myself and for all Quest Masters/Onward fans out there. So to put it simply, thank you. And if there’s anyone who hasn’t read it yet and would like to, by all means! Trust me (no pun intended) when I say that it is a LOT better than all of the incest fics combined. If You Trust Me is a story for anyone who absolutely loves the world of Onward and is looking for something that totally feels like it! ✨

I guess the very last thing I’ll say is, I am well aware that this coming March, Onward will be turning 5 (AHHHHHH! I was Barley’s age (19) when this first came out, whaaaaaaaaaaat) and since that is a big year, I might want to do something special for that. I’m not sure what it will be yet, but I believe I could do something. A long in-hindsight written reflection perhaps? Or an ensemble cast drawing? Both? I haven’t decided yet.

But yeah, that’s it from me for now. I am not planning on posting anything more later, tomorrow, or anytime soon. This isn’t an “I’m back and here to stay” post necessarily. More like a “hello, it’s been a while, but I’m doing well and I just wanted to let you all know that, plus it's an anniversary” post 😊 That’s all folks!

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Aaron and CM Meet-Cute Master List

Photo credits: Left (@themoontaxi) Center (@lesbianladysif) Right (@hotch-girl)

Good afternoon my loves! I hope you’re having a great Saturday/weekend so far. Mine is flying by, but not unpleasantly. The lovely @imagining-in-the-margins has asked me to make a small master list of all the Meet-Cute-Fics I’ve written during October and November, and I’m more than happy to do that. I’m pretty proud of all the writing I’ve accomplished over the last few months. I’ve written 117,496 words of Criminal Minds fanfiction which is roughly 188 pages worth of work. How it happened... well I just love these characters so much, and I can’t stop thinking of ideas for them! I hope to continue loving them for a long time still. I’m also, incredibly grateful for the mutuals that hype me up every day - @sadgirlzluvdilfs @criminalskies @hotchs-big-hands @softhairedhotch @citrusiove. Even if you’re just a silent reader of my work I really appreciate you. I hope you all have a good day and if you ever want to talk, my messages are always open. ❤️ 

You can read the master list below the cut. You can find my full master list, with a lot of my older Spencer content and my academic work, at this link (or it’s just the pinned post on my page.)

Fic Guide: 

✨ = most popular 

❤️  = personal favorite(s)

* = smut 18+ Minors DNI

∆ = must read A/N before the fic 

** = drug use

Aaron Meet-Cute One-Shots 

A for Effort: A meet-cute of how Aaron met the non-BAU reader at Penelope’s theater improv group show. And how Aaron accompanies the reader to host her Halloween extra-credit horror movie watch and discussion for her students. (link) 

Talent *: An inebriated Aaron finds out that the readers has a hidden talent and they offer to show him it later. When they get back to his apartment later, more sober, Aaron apologizes, feeling awkward for getting them into this situation. They (the reader) honestly asks Hotch if he would let them do it anyway. (link)

Eclipsed: A one-shot about how the non-BAU reader saved Aaron from a date gone wrong and when Aaron, Jack, and the reader go to see the solar eclipse together. (link) 

Demons ❤️ : The team is forced into very close quarters during a case on an offshore oil rig in Alaska. It’s bitterly cold and there’s nowhere to go and three men have been beaten and stabbed to death. The team must solve the mystery before it’s too late. A mix-up in rooms also has Aaron and the reader closer than ever. It allows him to learn something new about her. (link)

Pierced: The non-BAU reader gets a new piercing and sends Aaron a picture of it while he’s on a case. To say he’s flustered is a bit of an understatement. (link) 

Melancholia ❤️ : Characters both duck for cover under the same tiny storefront when it starts pouring, aka, how the reader met Aaron. Also, the reader is feeling down due to the seasonal changes and Aaron is there to give her some love and support. (link) 

Everything Stays *: The characters fight over the perfect pumpkin at the patch and explain why each of them needs it; aka, Hotch and the reader watch as Jack and the reader’s niece talk about pumpkins. (link) 

Unwanted Attention ✨: Having to travel to the middle of nowhere Ohio For a serial killer was bad enough, add to the fact that the local LEOs are looking a little too hard at JJ, Emily, and _y/n_, was testing Aaron’s resolve. Lots of protective Hotch here! This is another @imagining-in-the-marginsinspired fic for her Meet Cute Writing Challenge. I’m using the dialog prompt: “Watch where you’re going!” “… You ran into me?!” (link) 

This Space of Ours * ∆: Aaron is subjected to the whims of a sadist in search of revenge because his younger brother was put away by Agent Hotchner and the BAU team. (link) 

Life can be Terrible, but at Least You’re In It * ∆: This is a mix of two of @imagining-in-the-margins Meet-Cute writing challenge dialog prompts. I’ve mixed the two prompts: “Do you believe in Fate” and “This was way too cliched” to write this fic. (link) 

Stalked: The non-BAU reader gets locked out of her apartment and their neighbor picks the lock for you; aka you get locked out of your apartment and Hotch steps in to give you a hand. (link) 

Love is a Maze: The non-BAU reader gets lost in a corn maze… meant for children. She begrudgingly asks a total stranger for help; aka the reader gets stuck in a corn maze and has to ask a total stranger (Aaron) to help her get out. (link) 

Derailed: The non-BAU reader and Aaron are sat together on a long train ride. A one shot in which the reader unexpectedly spends an hour on a train with Agent Aaron Hotchener. (link) 

Haunted Houses and Haunted Hearts: The non-BAU reader gets scared in a haunted tour and jumps in the arms of someone that they think is their friend -- but it’s not. A short one-shot in which you have a spend a few hours with  Aaron Hotchner at a Halloween horror haunt. (link)

Emily One-Shots 

This is becoming a bit of an unintentional series, but you could read these as stand-alones too. 

Moschino and Muddy Water: The non-BAU reader offers unsolicited fashion advice to a total stranger in the dressing room; aka when you meet Emily Prentiss in the Moschino dressing room and give her some confidence… and maybe something more. (link) 

Mean It ✨: Emily accidentally dumps her coffee on the non-BAU reader in a very dramatic fashion; aka when Emily and the reader have their first date and it does not go to plan. (link) 

Halloween Honey *: Emily introduces the non-BAU reader to the team at Derek’s on Halloween night. After they get back to Emily’s apartment they take their relationship to the next level. (link) 

Spencer One-Shots 

Coffee Shop ** ∆ ✨: Characters get the same coffee order. They both reach for it at the same time, aka, when the reader and Specer order the same, oddly specific coffee order and the reader can see that Spencer is struggling and tries her best to be someone he can lean on. This story is more about Aaron and Spencer’s relationship than anything else and it deals with Spencer’s drug abuse problem [the reader is just kind of there.] (link) 

More to come for Aaron, Emily, and Spence soon!

[borderlinebox]

Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time

could you write a oneshot or headcannon

for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special

But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)

they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho

Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️

Celebrate With Me!

Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!

A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥

Feedback is highly appreciated!!!

Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.

There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.

He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.

SMACK

The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.

Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.

Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,

"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.

"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.

He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.

There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.

Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.

"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"

You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.

"I'm guessing you."

"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"

"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.

You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"

"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.

"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.

"No." He muttered out sternly.

"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"

Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-

"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.

It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.

"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"

And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.

Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.

To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.

"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.

"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."

-

"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.

"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.

"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.

Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.

Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.

He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.

The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.

It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.

Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.

"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.

"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.

"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."

Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.

You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.

Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.

However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.

A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"

You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.

She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"

The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.

"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"

He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?

"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.

The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.

Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.

You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.

Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.

He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.

Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.

"I got an idea."

"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.

"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.

-

The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.

"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."

"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."

You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.

"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.

"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"

A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."

Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."

"Better than-"

"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.

He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.

"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.

Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.

Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.

"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."

You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.

All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.

"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"

You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."

Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.

"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."

You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.

Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.

"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.

-

"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.

Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.

"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.

You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.

"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.

You could feel him shrug in front of you.

"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"

Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.

"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."

"You chose th-"

"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.

He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.

"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.

After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.

You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.

"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.

Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.

"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.

"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.

"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"

You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.

It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.

You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.

'Hapi'

'You de'

'Congratatulations!!!'

Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.

Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?

It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.

"You spelled 'Congra-"

"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.

He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.

"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.

"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."

Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.

As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.

Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.

"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."

"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.

"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.

Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.

You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.

"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"

"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."

You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."

Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.

[whatislovevavy]

I. Piña Coladas and NATOPS

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x afab!pilot!reader

Summary: Mustang and Hangman have had sexual tension since the night they met at the Hard Deck at the start of a high-risk assignment. Each interaction further solidifies your callsign in the best ways. 

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: 

First part: Sexual tension, smitten and sexually frustrated Hangman, swearing, initially shy reader

Future parts: Sexual tension, swearing, smitten and sexually frustrated Hangman, swearing, and mildly insecure and shy reader, smut; p in v, oral (fem + male) receiving, dirty talk, dom!Jake, hint of sub!Jake

Author’s note: This is the first real fanfiction piece I’ve published. Frankly, I’m not even surprised it's essentially build up for Hangman porn, I’m such a whore for that man it’s not even funny. Also, I’m a proud horse girl so there are some horse things dribbled into the plot. There will be multiple parts because it got hella long as just one fic, so let me know if any of y’all would be interested in reading more parts of this. I did my best to make Mustang’s physical attributes as ambiguous as possible when it came to descriptions to make it more inclusive to the reader. I want to get better at this so please feel free to leave constructive criticism or something you thought was strong or weak with the piece. Please be kind with criticisms. I'm sensitive. I’d like to thank @call-sign-jinx and @sebsxphia for betaing (?) each part of this fic, they’re both really sweet and write some good shit on their blogs, so be sure to check them out. 

All of my writings will be added to my writing side blog @sophs-writing-nook​ 

These characters, except for Mustang, are obviously not my own. This is an 18+ fanfic so minors scoot pls. You are responsible for the media you consume. Do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate this fic without my explicit permission as it is my own creation. 

Happy reading :)

____

Play a few rounds of pool and darts with his teammates. Throw back a few beers. Find a beautiful woman to warm his bed before his assignment started. That was his ideal night and usually what he wanted, he got.

That was his only plan tonight and he intended to savor every minute checking off each box. He already had the first two accomplished.

A sweet smile and bright eyes paired with a honey-like voice pulled you from his periphery to the center of his attention. Your dress flared around your waist like falling blossom petals and left just enough to the imagination. It was cute and flirty; it sparked something deep in him as he let his eyes unashamedly wander the fabric marked by pink, purple and blue hues. You screamed new, he would definitely have remembered you if you had stepped foot in the navy bar before; you’d be an awfully pretty notch in his bedpost, he thought to himself.

 Your quiet and reserved presence made you blend in within the cacophonous Friday night of the Hard Deck. Well, except for him. It was comical watching you try to place your order, struggling to speak up above everyone else at the bar top. Evidently, more of a wallflower, settling near the pool tables and jukebox, nursing a Piña Colada. He caught you observing his pool game with earnestness. Your unique choice of drink, considering that most ordered beers, whiskey neats, and rum and cokes, drew him in. You made eye contact with him at his place at the pool table as he was lining up his winning shot, sending a smirk with a wink as he sank it in with a resounding clank. Every pore in his body seeped charisma and confidence, your eyes darted away, studying your drink as a blush dusted your cheeks. 

"Better luck next time, Harvard", Jake said smirking with an extended hand, keeping his eyes on where you were leaning against the wall, now close enough to see the hydrangea flowers gracing your dress that reminded him of his mother’s garden back home in Texas. A begrudged Harvard placed a 20 in his palm, cursing to himself. He was about to request a rematch, but Jake was already swaggering his way to your spot near the jukebox.

Harvard, Halo, Payback, Fanboy, and Coyote watched on with amusement; Jake had a reputation and it was always a source of entertainment for his fellow aviators when he crashed and burned. Bets were thrown around as he made his way to you. 

You looked up from your drink and met his gorgeous ever-green forest eyes, panty-dropper smile, and frame that towered over your own. The typically unflattering, standard beige uniform only added to his sex appeal. The material clung to his thick thighs, broad shoulders, and toned biceps deliciously. You resisted your thighs clenching together at the sight of him. A small part of you wanted to caress the balloon of his ego, before popping it with a needle, but a bigger part wanted to succumb to him. 

You knew that he was only looking for someone to warm his bed and that this wasn't his first time trying. You didn’t know how to handle this. Sure, you had been hit on in bars and bases before, but this felt different. He was exponentially sexier. Feeling your nerves skyrocket, you would be lucky if you could get a sentence out. Besides, you weren't a hook-up kinda person and he was obviously a cum-and-go kind of man, a being omnipotent in the ways of the man-whore.

"Well, what is a gorgeous woman like yourself doing all alone?" A smooth southern drawl caressing your ears, demanding your attention to his. 

You looked at him with a shy gleam in your eye and a blush dusting your cheeks, admiring his eyes, perfect hair, and sharp jawline. "Just enjoying a drink at a new place... and your pool game", you spoke softly, giving him a shy smile, feeling the material of your dress with your free hand and a blush blooming on your cheeks. Sensing more eyes weighing on you, you quickly diverted your attention to his spying teammates. All quickly focused their attention away from the two as you met Jake's eyes once again.

"Well, I’m glad I had the privilege to entertain you,” he winked, “you got quite the drink there,” playfully gesturing to the contents in your glass.

"I guess I kind of stick out like a sore thumb huh?", ending with a nervous chuckle, feeling the heat rise to your face, focusing your attention on the pale yellow, nerve-numbing elixir for what felt like the 20th time this evening.

God, why'd you have to get like this? 

It only happened when interacting with people and thankfully not when you were handling a multi-million-dollar F-18 Super Hornet at 8,000 feet or handling a wild mustang in a round pen back on your family's homestead. It was just something you couldn't shake and had always struggled with. 

Despite this, you were an outgoing and competitive person, but it only showed in certain cases.

His mischievous smirk widened; you were cute. He'd give you that. You’d be perfect moaning his name under him.

"Do you have a name? Something I can call you by, Darlin'?"

You took a sip, "Mustang".

He admired your alcohol-glazed lips and thought about how your lips would taste, complemented by the sweet flavors of coconut and pineapple with the infusion of spiced rum. 

"Mustang", he tried out a suggestive smile adorning his face. His seductive, smooth voice tinged with his southern drawl made your heart flutter a little. “Well, that's a name you don't hear very often. Your mom work with wild horses or somethin’?``His voice tinged with humor, leaning his elbow on the jukebox as he punched in a few numbers.

The early beats of a rock song resonating in the packed bar. 

“It's not- It’s my call sign. I grew up on a mustang rescue, working with them and it stuck at the Naval Academy and Top Gun." 

Top Gun? He looked a bit taken aback. You didn't really fit the type given how shy you appeared. What are the chances you were on the mission with him? He kept that to himself for the time being.

“You seem surprised to hear that”, you asked with a touch of humor, resisting the urge to roll your eyes, preparing to deal with the ever-present sexism of your job.

“No offense, just not used to seeing accomplished pilots being shy and sporting beautiful sundresses. Don’t get me wrong it’s an appreciated surprise.”

A self-assured smirk graced his carefree features paired with appreciative eyes roaming your exposed collarbones and a tasteful glimpse of your cleavage. 

You let out a small laugh, facing your cup and turning back up to gaze into his spring grass green eyes. It was addicting having this effect, appearing one thing but being an entirely different animal underneath. “Well, what can I say, I’m full of surprises.”

"Well, I certainly don't mind that", Jake said with his sly smile as he inched closer to your side of the jukebox. If Jake Seresin had to have a weakness, it was sundresses and women who surprised him. 

You felt yourself heat up, taking a drink to calm your nerves, trying to salvage your dignity.

"What about you, have a name? Callsign? Something I can call you by, Darlin'?" You asked, comically mimicking his drawl, testing the waters, feeling the rum easing your nerves. He was broken from his thoughts and felt a smile grow on his face.

"You're funny, sweetheart. Name's Hangman but you can call me Jake for later activities… If that’s what you prefer". His tone is low and sultry, leaning his body onto his strategically placed hand by your head with the same gorgeous smile and playful eyes.

 Your eyes diverted from his and skimmed his nametag and badges at eye level; Lieutenant Seresin.  

If he hadn't piqued your interest and set your nerves alight, the bare innuendo would have made you balk and slap his perfect face. But he’d probably enjoy that. 

Jake waited with slightly raised eyebrows and awaiting eyes for your response, enjoying your flustered state. He could smell the soft lavender shampoo from where he stood. You could smell his cologne; a distinct soothing aroma of cedar wood, ginger, cloves, and bergamot. You resisted letting his scent and close proximity make you feel warm inside.

"That's fairly bold of you to assume that there will be later activities”. A hushed voice paired with a playful gleam flashed in your eyes.

"Well, what can I say? I got my favorite song playing and I'm a hopeful man, especially with that beautiful number on", as he skimmed you up and down appreciatively, eyes landing on your soft breasts, kissable lips, and your clothed hips he wanted to squeeze as he grazed your cheek with his smooth fingertip to push some hair behind your ear. Your eyebrows rose in interest. 

“Wanna know why it's my favorite song?” he leaned down to whisper in your ear, tone rich with sensuality, smirking as he felt your breath hitch. 

“I’ll give you a hint, it's called Slow Ride.”

Your stomach flipped, feeling your face heat up under his dark jade gaze. 

He had you right where he wanted you. 

You released a shaky breath, lifting your gaze to the fine features of his face, “That sounds awfully tempting….”

“Hangman”, he added confidently, the same want swimming under the crystal lattices of his emerald eyes.

He could practically feel the bed sheets around you both, hair splayed around you like a halo as he left marks on your perfect skin. 

“Hangman,” you smiled coyly, morphing into a humorous smirk, “but I’ve been in the Navy long enough to know what you’re about and I’m not interested in being your conquest tonight... plus I think my friend just arrived,” feeling a swell of pride seeing the hope of a shared bed dissipating from his eyes as well as his smug smirk, internally wincing at your humbling choice of words.

“But on a side note,” you reached the back of his neck to toy with his short hair, soft like you imagined. His stomach fluttered at the feeling of your soft fingers grazing his skin. 

“Why would you let yourself get such a stupid callsign? hmm?” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him with a closed-lip smile quirking around the edges. 

He felt like he just got in a car wreck with how much whiplash he just experienced, his mind struggling to keep up.

You quirked your eyebrow, awaiting his response that never came.

“Nothing to say? Hmm? I’ll see you around, Hangover”, patting his cheek lightly, smirking, and shooting him a wink as you brushed against him to get to your feet. He was shocked. He couldn’t bring himself to correct you and it didn’t help that he felt his pants grow a bit tighter. Jake heard his teammates’ snickers, and the passing of cash to the respective collector, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t be mad either; it was like watching a fierce butterfly burst from its cocoon of coy glances and small smiles. He couldn’t get enough and hoped he would see you again as he watched your hips sway as you made your way into the arms of your friend: Phoenix. 

—

Hangman was pleased to see you sitting in the front of the mission debrief space with an empty, inviting leather seat on your left, scrolling through your phone on top of the light blue NATOPS copy on your lap.

A soft sigh as he set himself down pulled you from your phone to meet the Nomex-clad pilot’s coltish gaze. 

You were frankly a bit surprised; you assumed the killer blow to his ego the night before would have made him never want to speak a word to you again. But like you, he was full of surprises it seemed.

“You need something Hangover?” teasing him, raising your eyebrows inquisitively.

“No, Darlin, just enjoying your company,” he smirked, “and it's Hangman.”

You placed your phone on the table and turned to fully face him. He looked just as good as he did last night, much to your annoyance. You were secretly looking forward to seeing him in an outfit that didn’t flatter him entirely, just so you could have an excuse to not like him. 

“Look, I may have been Darlin’ to you last night, but here, now that we know we’re both more than qualified pilots for this mission, I’m Mustang to you, and if you think flirting with me is somehow going to make me overlook your Texas-sized ego and obvious disregard for anyone but yourself, your horribly mistaken.” Your voice stern and eyes sharp, vividly remembering his narcissistic spiel the night before. 

 He felt his core stir. 

His eyebrows furrowed, a hint of a smile developing on his pink lips, his toothpick settling into the corner of his mouth. You rolled your eyes. His smile growing. 

“Your callsign suits you,” he said gazing at you with a foreign look in his eyes, continuing to move the slender piece of wood around his lips, flipping it over with his tongue.

It took every ounce of resolve in your body to avoid gazing down at his soft muscle, twirling the wood expertly. 

You scowled, eyebrows furrowed, expecting some form of disrespect to your challenge. But alas, his behavior made you question his mental fitness as a naval aviator.

Interrupted from your thoughts by being called to attention, rising to your feet with the man next to you, admiring his over-compensated straight posture and broad shoulders from the corner of your eye; the best and worst three weeks of your life were beginning. 

[oliversrarebooks]

Hey I’ve been following for a while and really enjoy your writing 💖 and if you don’t mind talking about it, I’ve been wondering about your process a bit, as in how often do you write and how much do you tend to get done?

I ask partially because I’ve been considering starting a writing blog of my own but problem is I’m really slow as a writer 😅 like it can take me a day to do half a page and I can’t shake the habit of rereading and editing as I go. You post pretty regularly so you seem to have a good technique going, and I think you’ve said something about having adhd in the past??? I have it too so if Im remembering correctly then you probably understand how productivity can be a struggle. I guess I’m hoping to pick up some wisdom from someone in a similar boat

Anyways, sorry for rambling, keep up the good work and hope you’re having a good day ☺️

Getting faster at writing is just a skill you can develop over time, I think, and even then, some people will be faster than others and that's okay! Instead of worrying about doing half a page in a day, you could try writing 100 words a day for a while, for instance. Writing a smaller amount more frequently will eventually get drafts done.

I've been writing for a while and I tend to be reasonably fast, but a lot of that is practice and planning. I'm often writing from a loose outline of how the scene will go, and for my bigger projects, I have a big picture outline with notes, too. Writing for me is fastest when I treat coming up with the ideas, scene progression, dialogue etc. as a different activity, especially because the "thinking" parts can be done while doing chores or commuting etc. I do Nano each year and there's no way I could ever finish it if I weren't writing from outlines.

I try to write each day and aim for 400-500 words a session, but I often do have to skip days for various life reasons.

I'm only recently diagnosed with ADHD so I don't have any great productivity tips! The entire reason I ended up getting diagnosed was because my productivity was driven almost entirely by anxiety and the stress was literally killing me. I'm trying to get into a healthier mindset now, especially now that I have appropriate meds.

One of my big ADHD-related problems was being unable to ever feel accomplished -- even big accomplishments always feel more like "welp that's one tiny thing done but I still have a mountain to go". That's one of the mindsets I need to shed and remind myself that writing something like Bookseller in my spare time is a pretty good accomplishment!

I feel like maybe I see some of that in your ask, where you're being hard on yourself for writing a half a page. Even if it took you a while -- maybe especially if it took you a while -- that's still something you get to be proud of. No one else is going to tell the story you have in your head in the way you would tell it, after all.

[andithiel]

End of year wrap up

I am so super late to this, but I’ve done this in the last few years and I think it’s a nice tradition to look back at the accomplishments I’ve achieved. 2022 was a very bleak year writing wise, and I’m happy to say that I’ve slowly started to get my mojo back a bit. My AO3 wordcount for 2023 was 36,936 words, but I’ve also posted some shorter things on tumblr, and I actually made a spreadsheet to track my progress and tally all my written words, including those that get deleted and also those not yet posted, and according to the spreadsheet I wrote 10k more. I still have a lot of WIPs hanging around in my drive, but I’ve managed to finish some of them, and I feel like I have more energy and excitement to finish some more, so, here’s hoping that 2024 will be the year that I actually end up with fewer WIPs at the end than at the beginning (something I tried back in 2020, before the world went up in flames).

Under the cut is what I published in 2023:

January 

Fading in Love (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 5k) I wrote this as a belated birthday present for @sassy-sassy3, it’s an 8th year secret relationship with a lil’ sprinkle of magical theory regarding the Dark Mark. 

February 

I decided to try a few prompts for HD Candyhearts and ended up having a lot of fun with them: 

Second Date AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 1,3k) with an insecure Draco after having spent the night with Harry.

The microfic Taste the love (for the prompt Sweet treats)

How deep is our love? AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 762 words) featuring established Drarry bickering and absolutely ridiculous Valentine’s cards.

The secret language of flowers AO3 tumblr (Drarry, Teen, 2k) featuring the classic tumblr post the fuck you bouquet.

Pillow microfic with Draco being a little shit

Charm me 8th year drabble FWB/secret relationship sort of vibes.

March

Take that ride (Drarry, Teen, 1,6k) I finally managed to write a fic idea that’s been scrambling around in my brain for ages. I wanted to create a mood and a feeling with this and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

I also wrote a short fuck or die drabble that I’m super proud of: Let me show you  

June

Hold back the tide (Drarry, Teen, 2k) Another idea that’s been with me for years that I finally got out (despite not having written the fic that preludes this).

October

Thunderstruck (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) My god, my beast, this fic resisted me and to top it all off I got covid right when I was about to finish it. I struggled with this so damn much, also wanting to create a vividness that doesn’t really come natural to me, but I’m so happy with how it came out in the end. Plus I got to collab with the amazing @fictional who, as usual, knocked it out of the park with her glorious art.

November

The Potter Malfoy bathroom war of 2007 (locked to logged in users) (Drarry, Explicit, 8k) Another fic that’s been with me for some time, although “only” a year. I saw the prompt for last year’s Suds when claims had closed, so I tried to forget about it but it wouldn’t leave me. I had so much fun writing this, I love writing Harry and Draco bickering and fighting with each other when we as readers know it’s basically their form of foreplay. 

December

When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night (Drarry, Teen, 6k) This was also a fic one year in the making. I started writing it to post on last New Year’s Eve, but I couldn’t finish it in five days (to my own astonishment), but I’m happy it got to marinate for a while because I added a scene with Scorpius that I’m very fond of.

I wasn't tagged by anyone and I'm sure people have already done this, but if this means you get another tag, consider pointing me to your own year wrap up so I can see it! @sassy-sassy3 @fictional @mystickitten42 @uncannycerulean @goblinmatriarch @phdmama @crazybutgood @dragonbornphoenix @wo2ash @rei382 @nv-md

[mryaksalot]

Plans for the rest of 2024 and beyond.

2024 has been a turbulent year for me, to say the least. I went into this year with an entire agenda as for what I wanted to accomplish in terms of writing. Little did I know how differently things would turn out for me.

My mental health back in March/April was not great if I’m being honest. I found myself not having nearly as much motivation to write as I did before. I decided to take a break from social media, fic-writing included, in order to work on my mental health. I’m happy to report that I’m doing a lot better now, and my motivation to write fics has increased significantly since June.

During my time away from the internet, I had time to reconsider what my intentions were when it came to my writing. I always enjoyed writing for the fun of it, but I also wanted my stories to stand out from the rest. I wanted to create something that was entirely unique, something that I can look at and be proud of.

The following is a list of all of the things I want to accomplish for the rest of 2024 and beyond, highlighting future stories as well as major changes in regards to my writing.

Backstory AU/The Road To Success

I’ve always viewed The Road To Success as my flagship story. I created this AU all the way back at the beginning of 2021. Hours upon hours have been put into fleshing out this AU into the multi-chapter saga. So many changes had to be made along the way(including starting the whole story over from scratch back in 2022). The story is now over 140k+ words, and it’s nowhere near finished.

Admittedly, I went a little overboard with how much thought and ideas went into this AU. I was not aware that this project would take so many months, even years, to put together. I don’t have an editor – I write, edit, proofread, and publish every one of my stories by myself. That takes a while to do.

Back in January 2023, The Road To Success went viral. This was around the time the 3rd and final season of the reboot came out, and AO3 was flocked with fans eager to catch the hype train. For a good few months, my story was gaining an immense amount of readership, which encouraged me to pump out as many chapters as possible in a short time frame.

But, like all hype trains, the excitement from the new season release cooled down. By the fall, the only fans left were diehards like myself. I was also experiencing some major burnout from pushing myself so hard. I had other responsibilities outside of social media like work, school etc. This burnout led to several delays of new chapter uploads.

During my break, I had time to rethink several components of my Backstory AU. I made a handful of changes to The Road To Success. The most prominent one was making the story much more Yakko-centric. I wanted to make a story showing how hard work and dedication to your craft can get you to places in life you’d never imagine. Yakko is the perfect character to convey that sort of message.

Initially, I wanted to include more character perspectives beside Yakko, but I ultimately decided to size it down. We’ll still see some of their perspectives (Wakko will get his own chapter at some point), but for the most part, the spotlight will remain on Yakko. This is his story, after all. Because of this, the current version of TRTS is much shorter than I originally drafted 2 years ago.

I have thought about expanding the universe even more with additional stories, but I have decided to hold off on that until I reach a certain number of chapters (you’ll understand when the time comes). I’m currently working on a 2-parter, chapters 17 and 18, which will take priority for the time being. I will save an announcement about bonus content for another day.

The Backstory AU has really become a passion project of mine. You can say it’s my magnum opus. I intend to take my time with future updates going forward. I used to pump chapters out as fast as I can, but I don’t really feel like I need to do that anymore. I feel like my content is better when I take my time to make sure everything is right. I want this AU to be executed to its full potential. Rome wasn’t built in a day, as the saying goes.

Oneshots/Additional projects

I have always been open to doing external projects on top of working on the Backstory AU and The Road To Success. Though recently, I have cut back on the amount of oneshots that I put out. There are two reasons for this:

1. The time I spend on these oneshots takes away time that I could be spending to write up the next chapter of The Road To Success. That story is a much higher priority to me, so I would like to put my time and effort into that before I decide to work on something else.

2. There really isn’t much demand for me to pump out as many oneshots now than there was 2 years ago. As I said in the hype train analogy, when a show gets new seasons/episodes, it draws fans to social media – it gives fic writers the motivation they need to push out new content. But now that the Animaniacs reboot has ended, a majority of the casual fanbase who had jumped onto that hype train had left to other fandoms.

But while the Animaniacs fanbase is much smaller now than it used to be, it allows me to focus less on the demand and more on the product itself – that product is the Backstory AU. I feel like I can take my time on new chapters knowing the diehard fan base will still be there. As long as there is an audience, I will write for as long as I still feel value in my work.

With that being said, I am going to be putting most of my focus on the AU going forward, rather than adding onto the load. I feel less anxious that way, knowing that I have a clear path in getting a fic done with little delay.

However, I am still open to doing oneshots in the not so distant future; I’m just putting priority on a bigger project at the moment. That might offset some readers who enjoy shorter content, but do know that all of my oneshots currently posted will remain on the platform for anyone to enjoy. Not to mention all the other great content getting posted on AO3. We’re a small, dedicated community, working together to make content for our own enjoyment.

But while I’m cutting back on individual oneshots going forward, I have something that you might enjoy.

Splats Of Ink/The Drabble Collection

Back in January, I decided to try my hand at a drabble collection. I saw that a couple of my fellow Animaniacs writers were doing it, so I thought “Why the heck not?” So far, I have written 6 entries to the collection, all of which have received decent feedback from readers.

I’m really enjoying doing the collection so far, because it gives me the chance to write out those strands of ideas floating around in my head. None of the drabbles in the collection are directly related to anything major, but that was the intention. The drabble collection is like my own personal sandbox – a place where I can figure out what works and what doesn't.

I won’t say yet what you can expect for future ideas for the collection; the collection itself is sporadic for the most part. But I would like to write out some deleted/extra scenes from The Road To Success which didn’t make it into the story. There is a lot of cut content from that story which I feel is still worth sharing. Other entries will include character study, and characters which I feel aren’t shined upon that often.

These drabbles will take the place of oneshots, and will typically be released during a wait period(when I’m in the midst of working on the next chapter of TRTS). As I said previously, I will still do oneshots on occasion, if I am able to come up with an idea that I can expand upon. For the most part, however, expect much more of the drabble collection in the near future.

Conclusion

If you made it all the way to the end, I just want to express how thankful I am to everyone who has supported me and my fics after all this time. I’ve been at this for 3 years now. I have made several new friends during my time here, and I’ve seen the talent of so many people in this community.

With that being said, I will be taking my time with my fics going forward. That doesn't mean I’m gonna quit necessarily, but I will be taking my time with my fics to ensure that they can hold up to their full potential. As long as there is still engagement in the fanbase, I will continue to write fic for as long as I still hold value to my craft.

If you have any questions about any of the information above, do not hesitate to ask. I will answer any questions you have, whether it’s about the Backstory AU or another project of mine. I want to be as transparent to you guys as I can.

Cheers.