#and like I said neither of them are obligated to come but idk I’m just tired of not feeling like spending time together is a priority

[galaxywhale]

friend organised plans for today on the 16th of march

we’ve talked about the plans at least once since then

we talked about the plans last Thursday

we talked about the plans this Thursday (though one friend wasn’t there tbf)

friend send reminder about plans yesterday

friend sent another message this morning with suggestion for dinner

two friends pulled out today at 5 hours then 4 hours before

and idk I know people are allowed to pull out at short notice if they need to but this continues an ongoing pattern with no apparent good reason and I’m just. tired. Especially when these are some of my only (basically are my only) irl friends

[genlossranboothrowaway]

what you said about philza’s privilege in terms of the qsmp experience (and just in general) is a great point tbh. i believe that HE believes in what he’s saying taking into account that he has access to different information than we do (not necessarily MORE, just different — dudes not on twitter for example so may not have seen testimonies from ex admins, but has info from people still involved in the server that we are not privy to etc). ultimately he’s only intending to talk to his community and reiterates that he’s not a spokesperson for the project, just another guy playing on his friends server taking what’s been told to him in good faith, so his truth is his truth but not necessarily the objective truth etc.

one thing I’ll say about the ‘no rp actors’ thing is that probably that’s referring to those specifically hired to do full time rp. my thought is that some admins still on the project that have been doing rp (the ‘5 active’ ones) are doing it for fun in the downtime from their main tasks. this seems pretty indicative when you only really see them doing this with bbh, because if it was actually their ‘job’ they would be available for the other creators still playing too. (i saw a bbh fan comment that ‘these admins suck at improv’ which, yeah. not their primary job probably lol). the only admin I’ve seen hang out with several creators is ‘ollie’ who we now know is ricardão, and that speaks for itself really given how many hours he’s clocked on the server just for fun outside of his ‘work’ obligations. so it’s like, should the new team specifically be telling the admins not to rp on the server if this is the case, to strictly stick to their tasks, or is it better to allow them autonomy over their time regardless of the arrangement? idk. in the end i’m reserving most of my judgement for if/when they release a statement on what changes have been made after (/if) this ‘restructuring’ gets done.

Hi anon, thx for the ask.

Even if they are not rp admins specifically I personally don't think they should be playing on the server at all right now unless they are getting paid for it. Letting the admins do volunteer work like that sets a dangerous precedent moving forward for all admins workers. The studio will be more inclined to hire (or keep employed) people who will do extra just because they want to, without pay, and it will end up the same way it is now: people being underpaid and expected to do much more than they are reasonably able to.

It's easier to picture when you imagine that it's something more boring. There's a guy at this restaurant that hasn't been paying their staff for overtime but he keeps pulling overtime anyway because he loves cleaning dishes so so so much. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but he still shouldn't be encouraged to do so until the restaurant gets their shit figured out.

"Autonomy over their time" would make more sense if they were being paid hourly wages or a fixed salary, neither of which we've seen evidence for. As far as I'm aware all employees who have come forward were paid in unrecorded one-time payments or as contractors for a fixed project/piece/job.

Quackity Studios is going to have to figure out how to pay workers who are often working overtime hours, whose hours are not fixed and fluctuate wildly and unpredictably, and who are living in many different economic climates, which is a task I do not envy them at all.

They also (best case scenario) will have to figure out retrospectively how much they owe all of their unpaid and underpaid workers from the past year. I do not have much faith in this happening given the size and scope of this task and the fact that there is no way, at this moment, that the QSMP has made anywhere close to the amount of money that cost to run it. I personally think that QS is going to fight very hard to not have to pay any of their workers for work previously done, although I would love to be wrong.

Even considering just those two things, not to even mention the logistics of a structural and leadership overhaul that we've been told is taking place, it is irresponsible and honestly self sabotaging to continue to allow those admins to rack up rp time on the server.

The RP admins are not essential for continuing to run the server. If they are being paid that is money that could go towards backpay for the under/unpaid workers. If they are not being paid their activity on the server is only increasing the potential liability QS has in regards to their unpaid laborers.

[phantomram-b00]

Okay I wasn’t going to be active today, but I saw this post about Crowley, and I do recommend you check it out it bring up many good points. It does inspire me to make a post about something I’m kinda surprised no one talks about exactly (or maybe they did idk.)

Now keep in mind, I do love Crowley and Aziraphale, they’re both my favorite characters and also my comfort characters/ship. Not just for their good deeds and characterization but also because they flawed. Or as they said in the blitz episode, they shade of grey. 🩶 I just feel like Crowley behaving a bit stupidly here. (But here might have more validity but still felt it was unwarranted)

Now onto the post, probably wondering what I could be talking about The Jim Situation all the way back in season 2 episode 1

So I’ve been meaning to talk about this, but I wasn’t exactly sure if it would be well received or wouldn’t make sense. But I think the post I linked help me have some confidence, as I do feel that people when talking about it forgot that, Aziraphale DID NOT want to help Gabriel at all. He never wanted to see him again after 2019; why would he, he not only approve of the first armageddon but also wanted to execute him (specially but also crowley) and overall was passive aggressive asshole towards him. Why would he ever want to help his toxic ex-boss? He kinda didn’t have a choice here, now he did say no at first when Gabriel asked to come in (I mean— idk about you but your ex-boss who’s naked want to come into my house I wouldn’t let them inside neither just no-) but he did bring him inside because he felt obligated because everyone is looking at him and the naked man friend, I think if things were different I think Aziraphale wouldn’t even think about helping him as another thing, Aziraphale moved on from everything that happen, he’s living his life, he even said so to Crowley when talking how he doesn’t report to them anymore. So the have this happen, just felt like ABBA song “Mama Mia here I go again”.

But another thing is that, Aziraphale also (while hesitantly) want to know what happen to Gabriel? Why has he forgotten about himself or really everything? And asking him or the empty box didn’t solve anything at all. As patient as aziraphale is, even his was running really thin as he talk to Gabriel. Not to mention of the fact Gabriel revealed that something terrible might happen which understandably terrifies Aziraphale. So, he turns to Crowley, which gifted us Nina asked about the naked man friend (Sorry I love his face when she drop that, the expression speaks so much volume I love it! XD)

Okay back to my ramble, now at first I’ll give the benefit of the doubt of why Crowley was kinda suspicious at first, Aziraphale wasn’t being up front about it at first (though to be fair, trying to tell someone “hey my naked ex-boss is in my bookshop and doesn’t know who he even is” is probably the most bizarre to even try to explain or tell anyone). And then as they go inside the bookshop, he got spooked rightfully so, this was the same person who wanted to kill Aziraphale, even saying the worse thing he can ever say: “shut your stupid mouth and die”. So to see him again, yeah, being scared is a valid response even as well as being showing keep resentment.

But, as they went to the very Va-Va-vroom yellow backroom, Crowley first idea was to take Gabriel somewhere far away, which if you really think about, wouldn’t solve any of their problem. It like putting a bandage or tape on a crack, sure it might help for now but more cracks will come up and will eventually break (I’ll get back to this later). What aziraphale said kinda valid, Gabriel does need them because who knows if this something terrible would only affect Gabriel, it could very well affect him or even Crowley or earth, so in Aziraphale’s view helping him out might neutralize whatever’s going on or will happen and taking him to dartmoor as Crowley stated do anything.

Now okay to give more benefit of the doubt, again, I do understand why Crowley was acting this way, and Aziraphale selflessly helping Gabriel is infuriating for him. As Crowley seeing this as “how can you help the person who want to murder you? How can you look past and forgive them this easily? How can you possible find it in your heart to help him after everything?”, which is pointing out Aziraphale’s flaws, him being selfless and need to help. Gabriel could’ve curse him out or bring him down to his lowest yet he still want to help. Now, there nothing wrong with being selfless, it an honorable thing to do, however, it become an issue when your selfless without thinking how it’ll affect you or the person involve. But, as I mention before, Aziraphale never wanted to help Gabriel, the only reason Aziraphale’s want to even do far as help this angel is because 1) he was obligated to as who else could possible help an amnesiac angel? 2) Gabriel mention something terrible will happen, so aziraphale want to know what can that be to prevent it. And 3) he’s pushing away his qualms against gabriel aside just so he can help him. So I don’t think Aziraphale’s exactly wrong for not wanting to sent Gabriel away as it wouldn’t solve the something terrible.

But Crowley doesn’t want to help (at first), so Aziraphale despite desperately loving nothing more but for Crowley to help him; said he’s welcome to go. He’s at least giving Crowley the opportunity to choose. Even though, Aziraphale want his help more than anything as the one thing both of them share is that, they don’t want to see Gabriel anymore. However, with aziraphale telling him he can go, Crowley well leaves. But not before (granted he did try to calm down though):

Aziraphale while most likely understands why Crowley left, I feel given his expression just wished Crowley tried a little harder rather than just walking away that easily. I almost said maybe he also feels envious that Crowley got the choice to walk away from this but I don’t see Aziraphale as someone who’s envious to that degree, but I feel Aziraphale wasn’t at least wishful he could avoid this whole Gabriel thing more than Crowley. But it just their luck.

Okay back to Crowley again, so we back to see him inside the car and then he is teleported back to hell by Beelzebub, there Ze tell Crowley what Shax mentioned before that Gabriel is gone and try to bribe Crowley by saying he can name his own price and even get his job back. Then tells Crowley that heaven up and arms about the disappearance and will dealt with anyone who’s helping Gabriel with extremes sanctions. Which absolutely mortified him because then there that possibility of being erased from the book of life.

And no, I don’t think Crowley’s original plan would’ve solved anything because in a way, that’s still helping Gabriel in some way. Does it more or less benefit Crowley and aziraphale yes but not by the long run. Like I said, it’s putting a bandage/tape on a crack, it could hold but not for long as it will ultimately fall apart and they would still be punished by doing this. So I think that’s why I never got why he still said “no no no aziraphale what have you done!?” Like sure even though I said my benefit of the doubt, I feel he should’ve at least understand this wasn’t Aziraphale’s choice neither, or even that this isn’t all on aziraphale anyway. It was Gabriel that just showed up and came to Aziraphale’s bookshop in the first place, so this was sprung on him. So I felt this was kinda irrational for him to think this way as Aziraphale never wanted this at all.

So Crowley comes back and Aziraphale decides to play petty (which sure valid since he did walk away but he did give him a choice? Idk it complicated), and Crowley goes on to say he was right which prompted to aziraphale wanting the apology dance from him (which okay imma be real, I have a headcanon where I think Aziraphale was dying to see this day. Been waiting until they first invented it which— I’m curious who idea was this.)

Now, you can debate if this thing was apology dance worthy but frankly, to see the dance, peak performance. But this isn’t about the dance, it about the grey heroes so let get back into it. Now Crowley does decide to help after all, and they decide to do what it seem to be the most powerful miracle anyone probably have ever seen or ranked. And it was only a half miracle. Which is really interesting. But I think even though Crowley does decide to help, I felt his earlier action was not exactly stupid but was unfair toward Aziraphale but at the same time it valid because of what I’ve stated and his underline trauma towards heaven period, so I can’t really call him stupid for this, but more or less deeply flawed here. However while the situation itself was unfair for Aziraphale as he want to help whatever going on I felt he should’ve also been more considerate about Crowley’s feeling with this whole ordeal as was equally unfair to Crowley in a way too. But I think the most common thing is that they don’t want to do this and want this thing to be resolved so they can move on with their lives. And even if Crowley did what he did, at least Aziraphale foot at forgiveness :) (I hate myself for making that joke— someone sedate me)

Now that’s my thought, this probably is controversial, so you’re welcome and valid if you disagree or even agree with this. Tell me what you think or if you agree/disagree tell me why? If you guys do have good omens question or question in general you can ask me on the AMA. But if you have any commentary on this blog you can unleash them, just please be mindful that’s all I ask. I have more analysis I got plan but for now, imma head to bed and relax. I’ll go haunt with you guys later but for now I’ll go haunt somewhere else. Hope you enjoy this blog and please check out the post I link on here, it was an interesting take and help me inspire me to make this one ^v^ so hope you enjoy that post too.

[erin-bo-berin]

okay here’s an idea. this is definitely the messiest idea I’ve ever suggested Erin so please forgive me for my sins and as always please do not feel obligated to write this one. Much like Birthday Wishes, I kinda just thought this might entertain you and if you feel inspired to write it cool, but no pressure from me!

So reader and Steve are hanging out with the older crew, talking about relationships. Somehow it comes up that reader is talking about how Steve is pretty insatiable (likes to have a lot of sex). And Steve comes back with come on I know you like it just as much as I do.

So Steve and reader are getting in the car to head home and reader’s like I love our sex life but I could definitely last longer without than you can babe, and Steve takes the bet and the games begin!

Then there are a series of scenes with the reader and Steve teasing each other mercilessly starting subtle and getting increasingly less so. At some point Steve’s casually playing with reader’s nipples while they’re watching tv bc that’s a surefire way to get her going. Another time Steve’s restocking at Family Video and reader does *something* and then just leaves him hanging with a boner as he groans/yells “that was definitely cheating!” as she walks out the store all smug.

Eventually they are both desperate to end the bet. Maybe they’re out at a picnic with the group, doing all these little things or making comments to push the other one over the edge. Reader casually takes off her sweatshirt and surprise! she’s sporting a particularly tight/low top (it’s boobies!). Steve’s got on the tightest jeans known to man (and as we know bro is caked up and I dunno maybe he takes off his shirt and gives us some chest action? idk) and at some point neither of them can take it anymore and Steve’s finally like OK we need to leave right now.

His hand is playing with her even as he’s driving them furiously home. And the minute the car stops they’re on each other, tearing their clothes off as they stumble into the house, making out but neither one wants to be the one to actually verbally give up, and it escalates until finally they both admit they’re done with this and do. the. deed. Aaaand the resultant Os are like way stronger than normal bc it’s been a bit. (And maybe the reader’s like first you’re eating me out and then you’re going to cum inside of me and you’re going to stay there until I say otherwise. but this part’s totally up to you Erin, you know what you’re doing.)

*pants* oof. happy friday 💕☄️

How can one manage to top writing something that fits your amazing ideas, comet? Like??? I still don’t feel like I do them justice!

BUT LETS GOOO—you asked for messy and it’s messy.

Also, you asked for some chest action, I’m using this gif (let’s pretend he’s not injured okay? Okay!)😏

The Bet

Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Smut

“I swear, this one girl I dated kept me up for two days straight,” Eddie said, nodding enthusiastically, “We practically had sex for 48 hours. I’m amazed my dick didn’t fall off!”

You rolled your eyes, groaning, exchanging looks with your friends Nancy and Robin.

While hanging out with your group of friends—the aforementioned ladies, Eddie and your boyfriend Steve—the casual, safe topic of relationship stories somehow morphed into sex stories. At least crazy, most likely exaggerated ones from Eddie, at least.

“Dude, your dick would fall off if you were in a girl for that long,” Steve said, sipping his beer.

“Or else it would’ve just turned all pruny like your fingers and toes do when you’re in the bath too long,” Robin said, casually.

How were you friends with these people? And dating one of them, at that?

All exasperation aside, you did love your friends and your boyfriend, but the things that were said when the five of you got together tended to be on the outrageous side.

“What about you?” you asked, turning to Nancy, “Jonathan ever give you any crazy sex stories that you’d like to share?”

Jonathan—Nancy’s boyfriend, who also tended to hang out with the group—had had to work and couldn’t make it today. You’re sure he’d be relieved to know the things he missed hearing. You actually envied him for a bit after the wild stories Eddie had spewed.

“Not unless you count wanting me to lick maple syrup off his-”

“More than I needed to know!” you hollered, waving your hands in front of your face.

“Y/N won’t be able to look him in the eye for a month now,” Steve chuckled.

“You asked,” Nancy smirked.

“Did I mention this one girl I hooked up with that came prepared?” Eddie smirked, downing the rest of his beer, “I’m talking she had fucking bows on her nipples and had my name written on her ass.”

Steve hooted with laughter and you gaped at Eddie. Honestly, you wouldn’t doubt that these stories were true as he was willing to try almost anything in bed, at least once—his words, not yours.

“To think, I could’ve gone my entire life without having heard that story,” Robin sighed wistfully.

“I don’t hear any wild stories coming from your direction, Y/N,” Nancy raised an amused brow.

“Oh no, I am not starting on that topic,” you said adamantly, shaking your head.

“What? We have plenty of great stories!” Steve huffed.

“I didn’t say we didn’t,” you grinned.

“C’mon,” Eddie urged, sitting forward with his arms on his knees, “Dish the dirt on Harrington. I wanna hear.”

You grinned slyly, knowing Steve had no idea what was about to hit him.

“Well, to begin with, I think he’s part bunny.”

Steve blinked, clearly not expecting that kind of comment. The others, sensing your train of thought wore identical amused expressions.

“You think that one girl you dated was bad?” you nodded to Eddie, referring to the story from earlier, “He’d go for 48 hours too if I’d let him. He’s like the damn Energizer Bunny.”

Robin and Nancy were full on losing it now and Eddie was trying hard to fight the laughter that was making his lips twitch.

“He’s insatiable, I swear. If you introduced him to rabbits, I’m sure they’d look at him in amazement.”

That sent Nancy and Robin into another fit of laughter while Steve sat, mouth opening and closing like he didn’t know what to say. Eddie’s amusement shone in his eyes as he glanced at Steve.

“Don’t break her now, you hear?” Eddie laughed.

Steve’s cheeks were a light shade of pink that made you giggle.

“I can’t help it that I happen to love sex with Y/N. So sue me,” he mumbled, a small grin on his lips.

“I didn’t say I was complaining, I’m just stating facts,” you smiled, pecking his rosy tinted cheek sweetly.

“Energizer Bunny!” Robin sputtered out, launching the two girls into another round of stomach holding laughter.

“She’s never gonna let me live that one down,” Steve sighed, glancing sideways at you.

“Aw babe, but you’re my Energizer Bunny,” you smirked, poking his cheek.

He responded with an eye roll and draped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

Robin and Nancy had calmed down by now, but there were actual tears streaming down Robin’s face from laughing so hard. When she could finally speak properly, she directed her comment at you.

“Sounds like a good problem to have.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I love our sex life,” you said, motioning between you and Steve, “But I could go a lot longer than he could without sex.”

“Hey, that’s not true!” Steve exclaimed as you turned in his arm, amused.

He pulled his arm back, something sparking in his eyes. Maybe intrigue.

“Please I could hold out longer than you,” he challenged.

“Don’t kid yourself babe,” you patted his arm mockingly, “We both know I could last longer.”

“You want a bet?”

Oh, that was intrigue and challenge in his eyes.

“Anyone want to make a side bet on these two?” Eddie joked.

You ignored him.

“What’s the terms?” you narrowed your eyes, up for the challenge.

“Whoever can go the longest without sex, wins,” Steve stated, plainly.

“Wins what?” you asked.

“Whatever the other wants,” he shrugged, “I’ll let you know when I win.”

“Pft. You’re on.”

You shook on it and watched your three friends exchange an array of amused glances. But it was Eddie that voiced what they were all certainly thinking.

“They’re not gonna last a day.”

•

Oh, the bet was still going on, even 24 hours later.

You were actually impressed that Steve hadn’t caved by now. But he kept surprising you.

You both had been up for the challenge, but that didn’t mean it didn’t come with a bit of teasing from both sides. It started out seemingly innocent with gentle, lingering touches.

Steve’s hand gently stroking your waist, your hand lingering on his chest a moment longer than necessary. Your hand casually finding his thigh at a random moment, his fingers caressing your own thigh, in rebellion.

Neither one of you caved.

So, the teasing continued, just amped up a bit.

Your eyes narrowed when by day three, he walked out of the bathroom, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, beads of water falling from his damp hair, down his chest. Obviously, this was a sight you saw every day, but today, you could smell its nefarious motives.

Was it just you or was his towel dangerously loose?

“This isn’t going to work, you know,” you grumbled, crossing your arms.

“What? Me getting dressed?”

He mocked confusion, looking at you with creased brows, right at the moment he dropped the towel.

Your eyes immediately went south. Even when he wasn’t hard, your body reacted to him. Your mouth went dry at the sight of his fully naked body in front of you.

“Oops, sorry. Towel must’ve slipped,” he shrugged nonchalantly as he bent to pick it up, wrapping it back around his waist before walking to the closet.

Your eyes followed his every movement, the sight still fresh in your mind. But he was not going to win with that cute trick.

“Nice try, Steve, but I’m not giving in first.”

He glanced over his shoulder as he pulled on his boxers, then the pair of pants he’d selected for the day, blinking innocently.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, babe.”

He wasn’t going to get by with that little stunt though; you still had plenty of tricks up your own sleeve.

•

“Babe! I’m home!” you heard Steve call, later that afternoon, his shift at Family Video over.

“In the bedroom!” you called, smirking to yourself as you set up the scene.

You were in a sage green satin nightgown that barely covered your underwear. Its two spaghetti straps were thin and almost invisible on your shoulders, the neckline low and revealing enough cleavage to be sexy. At the center, where the cups of the top met was a bow, the same sage as the rest of the nightgown. The trim of it, that barely reached the tops of your thighs was lacy and delicate.

You had your leg up on the bed and you pumped a bit of lotion into your hands before bending over and beginning to rub it into your skin. You made sure the curtain of your hair hid your smirk as you heard Steve’s steps approach.

“Man, it was a long day. Robin made me-”

You heard him stop, figuratively and literally, in the doorway, you finally in his sight.

You looked up, the picture of innocence and smiled at him.

“Oh hey, honey. Tough day at work, you said?”

Now it was his turn to look suspicious.

“What’re you doing?” he asked, eyes glued to you.

“Just getting ready for bed,” you shrugged, switching legs and beginning to rub lotion into the opposite one.

“It’s 4 pm, Y/N.”

“Oh? Is it? Well I thought I’d jump into the shower before you got home and get comfy before I started dinner.”

You felt his gaze rake over you, starting at your legs and gliding upwards. You heard him mumble obscenities under his breath as he stomped to the bathroom.

Next thing you knew, you heard the shower running. You burst out laughing, imagining Steve shivering in a cold shower, too stubborn to lose the bet.

Now, you were even.

•

Steve’s retaliation came quickly, though.

You’d stayed in your nightgown, but had thrown a white silk robe over it after you’d gotten too chilly parading around half naked.

Dinner had been uneventful, but pleasant, just spending time with one another while enjoying your smoked salmon, twice baked potatoes and rosemary honey roasted vegetables. After you’d rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher to run later, you’d joined Steve on the couch with your book.

He was currently sucked into some show on TV, so you curled up next to him, content to just get some reading done. At some point, you’d ended up with your head on his chest and one of his arms wrapped around you, him still engrossed in TV and you, in your book.

It wasn’t unusual for you to feel his absentminded touches, even when his full attention wasn’t on you. But you definitely didn’t miss it this time when you felt his thumb stroking the side of your boob. Your eyes halted on the sentence you’d been on as you glanced toward his hand.

Deciding to try and ignore it, you attempted to return to your fictional world. It got more difficult to concentrate though as his stroking fingers got closer and soon you felt his index finger running circles around your nipple, without actually touching it.

You couldn’t help your body’s instant reaction. The way his touch sent little bursts of electricity through your body, straight for your core where your traitorous clit started throbbing. You had to bite back a moan when you felt the tip of his finger flick your nipple through the thin material of your nightgown.

You felt it harden under his touch, betraying your arousal. But just because your body was giving you away, didn’t mean you were going to give in. You knew Steve well enough to know that he knew exactly what he was doing right now.

“Steve,” you said, trying to keep your voice from wavering.

“Hmm?” he answered, maintaining his distracted demeanor.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” he asked, purposely pinching your nipple lightly between his fingertips.

You inhaled sharply before swatting his hand away.

“That,” you indicated, pointing to his hand.

His smirk grew as you sat up, his eyes falling to your chest where you knew, good and well, he could see your nipples peaked through the satin of the nightgown.

“Ready to give up yet?” he asked, eyes glimmering, brow raised.

“Not a chance,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the betrayal of your body.

Even though every fiber of your being screamed in desire for him, your brain would not let you give in.

“I still have plenty more endurance than you do, Steve,” you huffed.

You grabbed your book, situating yourself at the other end of the couch, far away from his tempting touch. He just gave a delighted laugh at your reaction, watching you.

“We’ll see, baby. We’ll see.”

•

You were getting the asshole back for sure.

So far, the score was now Steve: 3, You: 1. In a double sneak attack this morning, he’d attempted to break you again. It didn’t work, but man, it had taken a bit more self control.

It was another usual morning, you awake early to see Steve off for his early shift at Family Video. You sat in bed, sipping your cup of coffee and curled up in the covers, back against the headboard.

Usually you just chatted with him while he got ready, read or even halfway paid attention to something on the TV in the bedroom. This morning, he’d made sure your eyes were on him.

Although he’d already pulled the little towel stunt, it didn’t escape your attention how by the time he’d exited the bathroom, he’d already pulled on boxers. Even more baffling was when he went straight to the dresser mirror, preparing to do his hair. Something he never did until after his clothes were on. Heaven forbid one piece of hair would fall out of place whilst pulling on a shirt.

But today, as he ran his fingers through his still damp hair, tousling the strands, your eyes stayed glued to him. Especially the way the muscles in his back rippled since you knew just how they felt under your fingertips when he was on top of you, thrusting hard into you. Your eyes roamed the constellation of freckles and moles over his skin, ones that you may have licked a path over, once or twice before, driving him wild.

It got even worse when his Farrah Fawcett spray came out. His arms were raised, one hand manipulating his hair to swoop to one side while the other sprayed the hairspray onto his locks. But your eyes zeroed in on his toned biceps and you had to mentally stop yourself from drooling. The amount of times those strong arms had held you down or against a wall, the way your fingers had gripped them while he made you feel such glorious sensations.

You had to mumble an excuse about getting more coffee before you did something stupid like jump him right then and there. As you clambered out of bed, the fact that your coffee mug was still three-fourths of the way full wasn’t lost on you.

You swore you heard him snickering as you’d sprinted out of the room.

Steve wasn’t above getting dirty, so that meant you wouldn’t be either. It was time to get a bit more creative and bring on the heat.

Which is why you thought a little surprise visit to Family Video for lunch was much needed.

“Hey Y/N!” Robin called, face brightening when she saw you walk in, “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Thought I’d bring you and Steve some lunch in case you haven’t eaten already,” you said, holding up two brown bags, “Turkey, double Pepper-Jack cheese with jalapeños like always?”

“You are the best,” she beamed, snatching her special made sandwich that she’d always request from you.

“As long as it’s you with the heartburn, not me,” you chuckled, “Where’s Steve?”

“In the back, sorting the new inventory. Want me to go get him?” she asked.

“No, that’s okay. I can take his sandwich to him.”

Robin had already pulled out her sandwich and taken a bite before you’d even moved. She spoke before you had a chance to leave though.

“So, how’s that bet going? Is it still going on?” she smirked.

“Oh, it sure is. I’m not planning on losing.”

She eyed you suspiciously.

“This isn’t just a typical lunch visit and a sandwich, is it?”

“You know me well,” you grinned, deviously.

“Poor Steve,” she sighed dramatically, “He doesn’t stand a chance.”

“You’re damn right,” you snickered as you headed to the back.

You found Steve unloading a box of new rental tapes, shelving them.

“Hey, you. I brought you lunch.”

He turned, smiling at you.

“Thank God. I swear Robin could hear my stomach growling from out front,” Steve laughed, taking his paper bag, pulling you into a quick kiss.

“How’s it going?” you asked, leaning in the doorway.

“The usual,” he said.

“Sit down and take a minute to eat, I can put these away if you want me to,” you offered.

He nodded, pointing to the shelf where he’d been putting the tapes.

You grabbed a pile, putting them up as you both chatted during his lunch break. When it was about over, you picked up one tape, purposely knowing it was too high for you to put away.

You stood on tip toes, making sure you were positioned so Steve could see your shirt ride up, exposing just a sliver of your back as you attempted to place the VHS on the shelf.

“Here, I got it.”

You didn’t miss the gruffness of his voice, making you fully aware that he’d noticed the flash of exposed skin. But you weren’t nearly through yet.

He took the tape, reaching over you to place it in its proper spot. You thanked him, turning around to face him.

“Hey Steve, do you know what I would be saying if I let you take me right now? Here against the wall in the back room?” your voice had dropped to a whisper, a finger running down the center of his chest.

His eyes were lidded as he looked down at you, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

“What?” he whispered roughly.

You bit your lip, looking up at him through your lashes before you leaned closer to him, voice so low that even anyone nearby wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

“I’d say: Hurry, Steve. I need to cum.”

You definitely didn’t miss the rumble of his groan from deep within his chest nor the arousal that had quickly formed a problem in his pants. You pulled away smugly, kissing his cheek and letting him know you’d see him later.

“That’s definitely cheating!” he hollered after you.

Robin practically choked on her sandwich, having no idea what exactly you’d done, but amused by it all the same. You chuckled at her comment as you left Family Video.

“I swear, this is better than television.”

•

It had been an entire week. You were amazed this little bet had lasted so long, but a part of you was having fun.

You were coming up with new ways to tease Steve and he providing new ways to torment you. Honestly, you’d expected him to cave a lot earlier, but he was still going strong. Although, strong might be stretching it.

You were both weakening, little by little, but you weren’t done messing with each other. The teasing didn’t ease up any, even around your friends. Just last night, when you’d had dinner out with the usual group of friends, the games continued between you two.

Since you were a rather larger group, you and your friends typically took up two tables towards the back of the diner, giving some semblance of privacy to the noisy crowd. Although there were plenty of chairs, you’d opted to sit in Steve’s lap after everyone ate and some were enjoying milkshakes for dessert, you being one of them.

You shifted purposely in his lap as if trying to get comfortable, even though you already had been. You knew it was pure torture for him to feel your ass rubbing against his crotch and you felt his hardening cock beneath you only moments later. You hid your smirk as you dipped your head to take another sip of your milkshake.

His arm was around your waist, but he pulled you close to murmur in your ear. It was already loud in the diner, your crew adding to the loud volume, so there was no danger in anyone overhearing his words. But, he knew what he was doing, whispering huskily in your ear.

“Keep doing that and I’m gonna end up cumming in my pants.”

You turned to him, smile sweet as sugar.

“Well at least you’ll release some of that tension, hm?”

You didn’t miss the glare he gave you, or the desire that blew his pupils wide. He hadn’t given in yet, but you were going to make sure he would, soon.

He didn’t let you off easily, either. In the dark parking lot, when everyone was saying their goodbyes and hanging around to chat a little bit more, Steve pulled you close.

In the darkness of the night, none of your friends saw what he was truly doing other than what appeared to be leaning down and kissing your cheek.

Instead, he licked the outer shell of your ear, teeth sinking gently into your earlobe as he pressed his hard erection into your ass, grinding it against you.

“See what you do to me baby? If I could, I’d strip you naked right now and take you against the hood of my car.”

His whispered words sent a rush of heat between your thighs and you held back a groan. The more you’d teased one another, the hornier you’d gotten. A part of you really wanted to tell him to fuck it and fuck you.

He took your silence and your gaping jaw as proof enough that he’d won this round.

Touché Steve, touché.

•

The ball was in your court now and as desperate as you were, as wound tight as you’d gotten, your stubbornness wouldn’t allow you to give in—not yet.

You were horny as fuck for Steve by now, but the only rational thought you had was to make him give in, that way you could end up having sex anyway.

Your next trick involved a simple ice cream cone. Seeming innocuous enough, you didn’t miss how his eyes trailed your tongue and mouth as you licked it seductively in front of him, putting on a damn good show.

You made it as convincing as possible, pretending it was his dick you were licking and sucking, torturing him as much as this little exercise was. When he stood from the kitchen table to announce he was going for a run, you looked at him, amused.

“You don’t run,” you said.

“Yeah, well I’m taking it up now,” he grumbled as slammed the door behind him, off to rid himself of the sexual tension he was clearly feeling.

How he was managing to hold out so long was beyond you, but you still had a few last things to try before you admitted defeat and jumped his bones.

•

It was just passing comments you made, but you saw how it got him going and in turn, that aroused you. It had become a sick game between you two—although it really wasn’t harming anyone, it certainly amped up the desire.

It seemed it had morphed from who could go the longest without—although that was still the ultimate goal—into who could make the other the most desperate.

“What do you think?” you asked nonchalantly, as you stirred pasta sauce at the stove, “Is the table sturdy enough for you to bend me over it?”

Nancy and Robin were coming over later to have a girls’ night of pasta and rom-coms. Steve, who had to be up early for work the next day was planning on going to bed early and leaving the three of you to your night together. That didn’t stop you from throwing in a few teasing remarks for his sake while you prepared the food, though.

“You wanna know what I think?”

You heard the table chair scrape back, indicating he had gotten up abruptly from where he was sitting, perusing the paper. You felt rough hands on your hips as he jerked you backwards into him, arms snaking around your waist.

“When you finally decide to give in and let me fuck you properly, I’m going to make you cum six ways to Sunday,” he partially growled, your body tensing and desire coursing through your veins.

“Oh?” was all you could managed, your throat raspy and chest heaving.

Your mind went wild with thoughts of him between your legs, making you ache for him so badly. You were so damn close to giving in and he knew it.

“Sweetheart, that’s a promise.”

-

It was later when you, Nancy and Robin were settled with identical plates of pasta, preparing to start the first movie that you heard Steve call your name from the bedroom.

“Sorry, I thought he was asleep already,” you apologized to the two, “He probably just can’t find the new tube of toothpaste or something.”

You rolled your eyes endearingly , telling them you’d be right back as you set your plate on the coffee table, getting up to head to the bedroom. You were confused when you saw him sitting on his side of the bed at the edge, flipping through channels on the TV.

“You need something?” you asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah. C’mere,” he motioned with his hand.

When you were in reaching distance, he pulled you close by your waist, pulling you down to him, kissing you hard. His hands slid to your ass, gripping it as he kissed you passionately.

His mouth moved quickly against yours, tongue entwining with your own, some of his pent up frustrations—yours as well—being unleashed in the kiss. Your hand had moved into his hair as you kissed him back, practically ready to crawl into his lap and grind against him while he palmed your ass and guided your hips to move against his.

But, to your surprise, he pulled away, looking completely composed and calm. You heart was beating wildly in time with your aching clit who’d had the stupid idea that you were finally getting some action. His hands left your ass as well, as if they’d never been there all while giving you a sinful smile, pearly whites showing and all.

“Now be a good girl and make sure your guests don’t get lonely, hm?” he smirked, “Have fun, baby.”

You stumbled off in a daze, wondering how the hell he had managed to not be as worked up by that single kiss as you’d been.

Little did you know, he had been.

Soon enough, everything would to come to a head and all it would take would be one end of summer bash.

•

You’d both had made it to the two week mark—practically a record for you and Steve. Although, something told you when the bet was over, he wasn’t letting you leave bed for a week straight.

By now, you were strung so tight that you could rival a guitar string. Obviously, the moment you decided you wanted to give in to Steve had to be at the worst possible time. You and he were currently with all your mutual friends, so it wasn’t like you could do anything here. Though you desperately, desperately wanted to.

Joyce and Mrs. Wheeler were hosting an end of summer bash at the Wheeler’s house, in their spacious backyard. There was grilled hot dogs and hamburgers, an array of desserts and a good time with friends.

The six younger teens—Mike, Dustin, Will, Max, Lucas and El—were all there, along with Lucas’ younger sister Erica, who was an unofficial part of the group. Nancy, Jonathan, Robin and Eddie were also there, along with both Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler, Holly and Joyce and Hopper. There were way too many eyes around, but that didn’t exactly stop you from subtle teasing.

It was still warm out, being the last days of summer and you’d donned a sundress that was low cut enough to sneakily taunt your boyfriend. It’d worked on him extremely well as he couldn’t stop his eyes from falling to your chest, trying hard not to imagine freeing them from that dress and sucking and kissing them. He really didn’t need a boner in the middle of a family friendly barbecue.

Apparently, great minds thought alike because he’d purposely picked his tightest pair of Levi’s to wear today and he felt a surge of pride at his choice every time he’d caught you checking him out throughout the afternoon. You were a tough nut to crack though and had yet to give into his teasing. Though he wanted nothing more than to have his way with you, he held out, curious to see just how far this could go.

You were relentless and sneaky, still managing to rile him up, even amidst the group of friends. After his stunt last week when Nancy and Robin had been over, he probably deserved it.

“You two still have that bet going on?” Eddie asked, mouth agape.

“Yup,” you answered, taking a bite of your banana pudding.

“Wait. How long has it been?” Jonathan asked, having been filled in by Nancy.

“Too long,” Steve grumbled causing Eddie to hoot with laughter.

“Two weeks,” you responded.

Both you and Steve watched in confusion as both Eddie and Jonathan pulled out their wallets, each grabbing five dollars, passing it to Robin.

“What’s this?” you asked, motioning to the money being passed over.

“Robin bet us five bucks each that you’d last more than a week,” Eddie shrugged.

“You had a side bet on us?” Steve asked, appalled.

“Sorry man. I didn’t think you’d last the first day,” Eddie smirked.

“What can I say?” Robin shrugged, “I know him well. He can be a stubborn shit when he wants to be.”

While this conversation happened, your bare foot had found its way out of your sandal and into Steve’s lap. You were thankful for the cover of the picnic table as your foot rubbed his knee and thigh, seemingly inconspicuously, until you moved ever so slightly to the left. It rubbed against the crotch of his jeans as you innocently ate your dessert. Steve almost choked though, causing you to grin behind your spoon.

You returned his glare with a bright smile, enjoying torturing him. He wasn’t going to let you get away with that, you know knew that for sure. You certainly didn’t miss the way he had to rearrange himself as discreetly as possible, when he stood to play a game of Frisbee with the younger kids.

You sat with the older teens at the picnic table and turned so your back was pressed against the table to watch the game.

“Hold that thought,” Steve said, “It’s a little hot out here don’t you think?”

You glowered in his direction as he pulled off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. He tossed his shirt towards you.

“Mind holding that for me, babe? Thanks!” he hollered, running off.

You knew exactly what he was doing and damn him if it wasn’t working. Even from the distance your eyes were locked on him. You wanted to kiss and lick every inch of exposed skin he was showing off right now, leave hickeys all over his neck and chest and around his collarbones. You wanted to play connect the dots with your tongue and the splattering of moles over his abdomen, wanted to leave scratch marks down his back.

You’d been so out of it, you didn’t even notice when the others had left to start a game of two on two volleyball.

Your fingers clutched Steve’s shirt in your hands as you watched his muscles flex and ripple with a single toss of the frisbee. Even though you always found him attractive, your thoughts had never been so dirty as they were now while you watched him.

The frisbee went flying off course, nowhere near any of the players, towards your direction.

“I got it!” Steve called to the others, jogging your way.

You bent to pick up the rogue circular toy at your feet just as he approached you, making sure he got an eyeful down the neckline of your dress. He noticed, alright.

Steve gulped, eyes taking in the curve of your breasts, almost able to see far down enough to see your nipples. He’d seen you naked plenty of times in the last two weeks, sure, but it had felt like an eternity since he got to enjoy your body. To squeeze it and kiss it and explore it like he loved to, leaving marks that only he was allowed to in secret spots, making you moan and writhe underneath him, on top of him, wherever, as he made you see stars. He always got the most satisfaction and pleasure knowing he’d pleased you well.

When you straightened, handing him the frisbee, he could’ve sworn you were giving him fuck me eyes, and he was absolutely right.

“Steve, if we don’t leave now I’m going to take you on this picnic table, right here and right now.”

Your voice was hoarse, filled with desire and fuck if it didn’t make him instantly hard.

He turned his back on you only long enough to toss the frisbee back to the kids.

“Sorry guys, I just remembered we had another engagement we also have to attend to!” he shouted to them.

“Aw come on! We were winning!” Dustin protested.

“We can rematch this weekend, okay? Gotta run!”

He didn’t even bother with byes, nor did he put on his shirt as he grabbed your hand, nearly dragging you to the car. You were so horny yourself you were contemplating doing it in his car, but you forced yourself to wait until you got home. You had a feeling once you gave in to him, you wouldn’t be through with him anytime soon—and a bed would be much more comfortable for multiple sexcapades.

He was behind the driver’s seat before you were even buckled in. As you buckled your seatbelt, your eyes caught sight of his cock straining in his pants and you almost moaned out loud. The ache in your core was so bad, you were practically sitting with your thighs clenched together permanently.

“Wait,” he grinned, turning to you, not even having turn on the car yet, “Does this mean I win the bet?”

“Drive Steve, drive!” you shouted.

You could admit it, you were that desperate. A ten minute drive home was going to take forever to you right now. Apparently, Steve had the same thought because he’d barely pulled out of the Wheeler’s driveway before his hand was between your legs. Suddenly, you were so glad you decided to wear a dress today.

His hand cupped you over your underwear and you moaned, having missed the feeling of his touch.

“Jesus, you’re soaking,” he groaned, able to feel where your arousal had soaked your panties.

“Yeah, cause you’ve been a fucking tease,” you grit out, hand clutching the door as he rubbed you through the material.

“Shit,” you moaned lowly, jaw dropping when his fingers dipped past the crotch of the undergarment, thumb rubbing at your clit.

It had been two weeks too long according to your body because it flinched and jerked at every touch Steve gave you, especially when he slid two fingers inside you effortlessly. Your hips bucked into his hand as a lewd moan fell from your lips.

He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t wait until you both got home, he had to give in to the urge to touch you and he did, taking much pleasure in your answering moans. Unfortunately, each little whine and moan was going straight to his groin where he was already painfully hard. He was quite literally driving as fast as he could.

“Damnit,” he muttered when they got caught up at a stoplight.

He tried to distract himself with you, hoping the red light would quickly turn green. This right now was fine, but he wanted to do much, much more to you.

His fingers curled within you as they pumped in and out, you becoming even more responsive. You knew he could feel your pussy clench around his fingers, the muscles fluttering as if in search of the cock it had been missing so badly.

“Yeah? You like that baby? Lemme hear how much you like it,” he cooed.

He took a moment while the stoplight was still red to lean over the console, attaching his lips to your neck. He gave it a few, sloppy, open mouthed kisses before sucking on a spot, all the while his fingers tormented you.

“Yes, Stevie, yes,” you whined.

He grinned, quite proud of himself. You hardly ever called him that, only when you were so blissed out by him that it came out in a whine. It was something that could get him harder than a rock.

When the light turned green, he gunned it, praying all the while that none of Hopper’s goonies were around to catch him speeding. He need you bad and he needed you now or else his dick might actually fall off. The way he pulled into the driveway of your and his house might’ve been humorous any other time, but you both had other important things on your minds.

Your dress was almost off even before you two stumbled into the door. His hands had been gripping your hips as he kissed your neck while you tried to hurry and unlock the door. He would’ve bunched up your dress just so he could feel your silky soft skin against his palms, but he didn’t much care for the thought of giving the neighbors a show.

The moment the front door was shut, he had you pressed up against it, mouth on yours. His kisses were hot, needy and just as eager as he was. His hands were already under your dress, pushing it up as you pulled away long enough for him to pull it over your head and drop it to the floor. You were left in just your underwear and the desperate moan that came from his throat made your clit throb harder.

His head bent to your chest as his tongue circled one nipple before he pulled it into his mouth, sucking on it. The other breast he palmed in one free hand, fingers rolling your nipple. Your moaning sigh was answer enough that you’d missed his mouth on you as you arched your chest into him.

While he busied himself with your boobs, your fingers rapidly tried to unfasten his Levi’s, grateful he didn’t even bother to put his shirt back on earlier. After all, it was just going to come back off anyways.

You’d managed to push the button free when his lips reconnected with yours, his hand tangling into your hair to move your head just the way he wanted it as he kissed the life out of you. At the unzipping sound of his zipper, you pulled back, breathless, chest heaving.

“Bedroom,” you panted.

He nodded, grabbing your hand and once again practically dragging you upstairs. He lost the jeans somewhere on the stairs for when you both made it to the bedroom, you both were left with one garment only.

He pushed you roughly on the bed, making you growl in delight as he crawled over you, leaving kisses up your body as he went. Before he could occupy your lips again, you stopped him with a hand to the chest.

“Bet’s off?” you asked.

“Bet’s off,” he nodded before he let himself be consumed by your mouth again.

This time, your hand was in his hair and you tugged it roughly as you kissed, his moans being swallowed by the kiss.

You felt his hair tickling your cheek when he broke the kiss, lips exploring down once again to your neck and collarbones. He was most likely leaving enough purplish bruises that you’d look like a connect the dot picture by morning.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” came your breathy demand, “First you’re gonna lick me, fuck me, then cum inside me and you’re gonna stay there until I tell you otherwise.”

He groaned at your words, mouth already traveling southwards before you’d finished your list of demands.

“Yes ma’am,” he emphasized, his eyes clouded with desire for you and you only.

You could’ve cum on the spot when his tongue made contact with your aching pussy. He licked one long, slow strip up your seam, thoroughly enjoying your uncontrollable moans. He may be to the brink of painfully hard, but he was going to be damn sure that he made you tremble with ecstasy, first.

“Holy hell, I missed your tongue,” you whimpered.

It flicked your clit teasingly before moving over it back and forth. It wasn’t going to take much of this before you’d fall apart, you knew. When his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking on it, it was game over as your toes clenched and the rapidly building pleasure in the pit of your stomach came dangerously close to erupting.

It probably took less than two minutes before you were crying out, clutching at the sheets as your orgasm crashed over you and your body flooded with warmth. It came and went too soon, not leaving you nearly satisfied as you practically tugged him back upwards to you when he was done.

“Now make me cum six ways to Sunday like you promised, Steve,” you uttered, tearing his boxers off.

If you’d had scissors nearby, you’d most likely had cut them off at this point. You were both frantic for one another and couldn’t get enough. You’d already had one orgasm because of him and it still felt like that had barely taken the edge off.

“I plan to, sweetheart,” he smirked, eyes locked on yours.

He wasted no time pushing into you and your satisfied moans mixed with his, the sensation like coming home. He fit you so perfectly, stretching you almost to the point of pain, but it was such a staggering feeling that you never got used to. It seemed to get better every time and it felt twice as good now after having yearned for this for two weeks.

“God damnit,” Steve moaned lowly, the pleasure etched in his features.

He hadn’t even moved yet as he was so overcome by your tight, wet, heat. He had to control himself to keep from blowing his load right then because he wanted this to last as long as possible.

“Oh my god baby,” he groaned after his first thrust, “I’m never making a bet with you again.”

Your laughter was choked, tinged with a low moan. The way you two were acting, one would’ve thought it’d been two years since you’d enjoyed each other. But there was definitely a reason for the animalistic desire, it was worth missing.

His hips picked up speed until there was nothing but the sounds of your slapping bodies and mingled noises of pleasure. He lifted one of your legs higher on his waist, allowing for a deeper angle and access to the sweet spot that made your toes curl.

“Steve, yes, yes, yes,” you mewled.

He bent, capturing your lips in a kiss that was desperate and rough as your bodies worked their way to their impending climaxes. Your breath caught mid moan when he bit down on your bottom lip, giving it a gentle tug as he pulled away from you, before releasing it from between his teeth.

“You gonna cum for me?” he rasped, “Scream my name for me?”

You nodded, eyes screwed shut as he continued to pound into you like there was no tomorrow. He was repeatedly hitting the spongy, sensitive spot deep within you that was liable to send you careening over the edge at any moment.

His hand splayed over your abdomen, thumb just in reach of your clit as he rubbed it in sync with his thrusts. He could feel you clenching down on him, the death grip your pussy had on him making his spine tingle and signaling he wasn’t going to be far off from losing control.

“Oh fuck, Steve!” you cried, completely losing yourself to your high.

Steve bit his lip, holding off for long enough to watch you. It was the most erotic sight to him to see you fall apart, your brows slightly pulled together, the pleasure so good it was borderline painful. Your mouth agape as you moaned his name, your cheeks flushed and lips bruised and kiss swollen. He didn’t last long after his first glimpse because soon he was reaching his own end, swearing, accompanied by a moan of your name.

Only you could make him cum this hard. Especially after fourteen days of teasing, which somehow had made the sex even hotter and more intense this time.

You were spent by the time you came down from your cloud of bliss, hearing the tail end of the happy, content sighs from Steve. You pushed his messy hair off of his forehead and he gave you a tired smile, looking as fucked out as you probably did.

“Love you,” he murmured against your lips as he kissed you much softer.

It was something he always did no matter how romantic, kinky, intense or gentle the sex had been. He always had to make sure you knew he loved you.

“Love you too,” you smiled, enjoying the moments of closeness that came post sex.

You stopped him the moment you felt him move to retreat from within you.

“Nuh uh, I meant what I said about you staying inside me until I said so,” you huffed.

He was still relatively hard, both his cock and his libido eager for a round two. He knew you were all for it, as well. Besides, you wanted him buried to the hilt within you for as long as you could stand tonight because if it hadn’t been proved enough, you’d missed this dearly.

A thought suddenly occurred to Steve and his whole body shook with laughter and you gazed at him, confused.

“What?” you questioned, baffled.

“It’s kind of funny when you think about it,” he smirked, peering down at you before continuing with his thought.

“Who’s the insatiable one now?”

[m1d-45]

Hey I love your writing!!!!!! whenever I see it on my dash I always get ready to read another banger!!!! Btw idk if you have any opinions on Xiao but DID YOU SEE HIS RECENT TEASER??? THE ANGST THE SADNESS!!! SO GOOD any thoughts? Spare thoughts? 🥺

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT XIAO YOU HAVE NO IDEA

i haven’t seen the trailer but i watched it rn for this ask and oh my GOD

ranting under the readmore bc i am having EMOTIONS

(oh and thanks for the compliment!! lovely to know i’ve created something you enjoyed <33)

i have an ask i’m 100% gonna use as an excuse to do a character study on him because he’s… he’s so…. ough…

‘an instant of negligence, and it will turn me into one of the monsters i swore to purge’

aisdnekdfn i have NO IDEA what this trailer is abt bc i am not a xiao haver (started genshin mid his last banner, by the time i knew what i was doing it ended) but he…. ough…. he’s so afraid of himself just because he does his job i- ‘you became the very thing you swore to destroy’ type beat but this time it’s sad and tragic because he truly believes himself to be something dark and prone to shattering, cutting through the ones closest to him, not the typical ‘i’m better than i was then’ mentality that usually comes with this trope!! he treats himself like a live bomb and he’s so terrified that the weapon he uses to defend will turn on those he loves-

i can GUARANTEE he left bubu pharmacy because he didn’t want baizhu / qiqi to ‘waste’ medicine on him because he probably feels a sense of obligation about it, it’s his burden to bear and not one they should shoulder for him (it isn’t he deserves a moment of peace and a break from his never ending duties xiao pls be kind to yourself)

‘it’s good to take the mask off once in a while, even just for one night’

i have NO IDEA why venti’s here but he is so right. also related but venti and xiao need to be friends. i don’t know about their canon relationship bc i have neither of them but… ugh…

venti clearly has issues for a variety of reasons, notably being afraid of being a tyrant, and his near need to not be overbearing meshes so well with xiaos fear of poisoning those around him… they both cope in horrendous ways but like…. god… emotions in the club tonight…

like…. the two of them, sitting on the roof of the inn, watching the sun rise. venti has a bottle of dandelion wine and xiao has a lukewarm, untouched plate of almond tofu besides him—verr goldet brought it to him but he hasn’t brought himself to have it yet. he’d sat himself up there around midnight, venti joining him not an hour later, but only a few words have been exchanged. venti said hello, xiao asked why he was here. he had shrugged, popping the cork on his wine easily, settling down with a slightly exaggerated sigh, “same as you, i suppose. caught up in a memory that won’t leave.”

xiao winces, slightly, almost embarrassed he was seen through so easily, but venti doesn’t press it. he knows the feeling, the oppressive weight of failure weighing on him just as strongly as it does on him. he feels bad that somebody so (comparatively) young has to experience so much tragedy and loss, but…

he glances at his vision, the glass reflecting the moon.

the two sit for what most would consider far too long in silence, only the occasional slosh of wine passing between them. memories weigh heavy on nights like these, and neither is quite ready to address it yet.

venti starts, his voice far dimmer than usual. a long-forgotten name falls from his wine-soaked lips, wrapped gently in eons of affection. he’s repeated the story of the ‘nameless bard’ a thousand times, always on quiet nights like these ones, with only the stars as his witness, but… surely an audience of one doesn’t hurt.

besides, he thinks bitterly, the sweet wine not doing much to take the edge off his mood, it’s not as if anybody else remembers.

the silence once again stretches, but it’s only a few moments before xiao speaks up, his voice uncharacteristically soft. he does the same, repeating the names of the ones he’d lost, and the wind picks up slightly, as if carrying some of the weight for him. he glances at venti, but he’s looking at the roof tiles, allowing him the moment—the memory—to himself.

he feels odd, telling stories of bloodshed and broken bones after such a soft friendship, but whenever he pauses for a moment too long, a soft breeze brings him the smell of cecelias, and the words he was looking for are found.

he feels lighter, slightly, for having shared, a small chip of his self-imposed burden lifting. normally, he’d probably feel guilty for dumping this out in the open, but the night is warm and he doesn’t find himself minding the company all that much.

the night passes, spent in a comfortable, nostalgic quiet. xiao’s plate is clean, now, and though the texture of the dessert is off and his lip curls, it’s still as sweet as usual. venti’s bottle is similarly empty, hardly a drop left inside the stained glass. the cork is lost, having fallen somewhere, and even in the growing light of dawn, neither can see it. if they do, they don’t reach for it.

venti sighs, not one of contempt or regret, but of sorrow. sometimes he wishes there were more hours to the night.

xiao watches him stand, with little intention of following. he should probably get up as well, stretch so his arms aren’t too sore when he goes out later to clear out demons…

barbatos offers his hand. after a moment, the last yaksha takes it.

[releaseholiday]

how come you never give louis the benefit of the doubt when it comes to bbg considering we literally know nothing about this situation. always talking about holding him responsible for it when we quite literally don’t know anything that happens being the scenes, why any of this happened, what kind of constraints he’s under, what contracts he’s signed? like why be a fan at that point? if you can’t even be excited for his projects, probably don’t care for or stream his music which is literally the main reason we should care about him considered he’s a music artist. like i’m not even trying to hate on you i just don’t understand why you’re still in the fan base, we don’t know him personally and yet you’re always trying to paint him in a negative way that fits the narrative in your head.

Did one just for you bestie

I do give him the benefit of the doubt, I’ve said a million times that bg is not and never will be his fault and it’s heartbreaking he’s even in this position to begin with. And I completely understand why he did the things he did in the beginning of it, but he did manage to be completely out of the kid’s life for a couple of years so what’s changed? What kind of contract is that, that told him to take the child away from his family on a holiday? I’m holding him accountable for it bc he is. There’s absolutely nothing that would justify it unless someone is literally holding a gun to his or his loved ones’ heads telling him to use the child. Like if he’s under a contract, then I’m sorry but he has to make a choice, what’s more important his career or an innocent child’s fucked up life? And I know he’s not actually treating this kid horribly, I’m sure he’s super nice to him but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still exploiting him, that the kid’s face is all over the internet bc of him. So he has to make a choice, idk break the contract, lose a couple millions, or even lose his career (which I don’t think will happen either way). I know it’s not fair to him, none of it is! But his, or anyone else’s, success isn’t worth messing with a kid like that. And I’m still here bc I do love him and I do love his music and I hope he has a successful career bc he deserves it and I still think that he’s a good person at heart, despite being lost and having his priorities twisted at the moment (just like harry, in case anyone wants to say I’m not treating them equally lol). Obviously i don’t know if any of that is actually accurate but neither do you or anyone on this website, that’s just my opinion, no one is obligated to read it. So like I’m here bc I want to see him succeed, but not at the expense of fucked up morals so I’m calling him out on it🤷‍♀️

[niksixx]

Is it ok if I rant a little about tumblr fanfics? Kinda like an AITA? if you've seen them lol. If not just delete this ask lol :)

so I used to follow a fanfic account and I used to enjoy reading their stuff until they deleted most of it and then are asking that we pay to read it?

and don't get me wrong, they (& other creators) absolutely should be appreciated for their work and i know it takes time but also £20 a month seems a bit much?

like idk it went from being fun, everyone can get involved, everyone can enjoy to you must pay to enjoy it and if you won't pay you just get whatever I can be bothered cross-posting

Idk I feel like I'm being a bit of a dick but also fanfiction should be for everyone to enjoy and I shouldn't be backed into a corner to pay for it? I know I'm under no obligation to do so but it's just a shame bc you can see how much effort used to go in and how much goes in now

sorry for ranting lol, how was your day? love you <3

Y’all can always come and rant to me! 😎

I definitely understand both perspectives. (I don’t know much much £20 is in American dollars so I can’t say for certain if that person is overcharging or not! I have to calibrate it on Google or something😂)

Personally I never would charge anyone to read my fanfics. That’s just not who I am and I agree it should be for everyone to enjoy. I think if people want to send a tip, or buy a creator a coffee, out of the kindness of their heart, that’s a different story entirely.

On the other hand I also know how much time and effort and creativity it takes to make fanfics, and half the time fanfics don’t get the appreciation they should. So I also see why creators are starting to charge for people to engage with their fanfics, because when it’s free, the like-comment-reblog ratio is terrible. (At least from what I’ve personally seen.) Barely any interaction happens and it’s disheartening. Lack of engagement is a huge reason why creators stop…creating. So if charging money is what creators resort to, I can’t necessarily fault them for that either!

With all that being said, you don’t have to pay if you can’t or don’t want to. Sure it’ll suck to not be able to read anything from that particular creator, but you don’t have to. It’s a very gray area where neither idea is really wrong. So no, I don’t think you’re a dick or anything asshole! I just think both ideas, (aka, you feeling backed into a corner to pay for fanfics, and creators wanting to charge money for their hard work) are both very valid 💜

Edit: I’m spending my day reading!! And hopefully finding the will to do some creative writing! I hope you have a wonderful day and I love you !! 💕

[songbirdsingingthings]

Sweet Escape - Levi Ackerman x Reader

WARNINGS: Angst, Major Injury, Mentions Of Blood

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama

Part Two - AOT Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Word Count: 1.5K

It all happened so fast that it caused you to think it wasn’t even real. But, the searing pain in your abdomen told you otherwise. You registered the slightly tickly, slightly itchy feeling of the dry grass as you lay on your back. You could feel the blood pooling all around you, making your shirt and even your pants damp with it. I hope it doesn’t make its way into the ODM gear, you think, turning your head slightly in order to try and peek at the machinery on your hips. Levi will kill me if my blood ends up gumming up the gears.

*Flashback*

“L/N, if you don’t get your cloth moving and your mouth shut, you’ll have stable duty for two months. I hope you know that it will include mucking out each and every stall twice a day, every day.” You cringe a bit at your captain’s harsh tone, quickly picking the little rag up from beside you and making yourself busy by wiping the glass window panes. Captain Levi was always this way, even with his own squad. He wouldn’t stand for loitering or slacking off, which you respected, but he could be an incredible hardass sometimes. You weren’t even making that much noise, murmuring back and forth with your squadmate, but Levi just wouldn’t stand for it. 

“Busted!” Your squadmate whispers, causing you to cover your mouth in order to not voice your giggles. Nonetheless, Captain Levi noticed. Nothing ever really flies past him, does it.

“Lieutenant, is something about that punishment funny to you?” He snarls, causing your head to whip around and face him. The piece of fabric that was previously tied around his head was now lowered, covering the cravat he always wore. Fire burned in his eyes and his expression was dangerous, almost asking you to tell him that it was indeed funny so that he could make your punishment even worse. You stuck to your manners though.

“No sir,” you say quickly.

“Tch,” he scoffs, putting the cloth back over his mouth and turning around so his back is facing you. “Do not leave this room until every speck of dust is cleaned out of here.”

“Yes sir,” you and your squadmate say simultaneously, exchanging worried looks. You waited until the captain left the room and shut the door behind him before you heaved a sigh.

“He hates me.” You state, staring back solemnly at the window that was already clean.

“He doesn’t hate you, he just thinks you’re a bit…” She trails, trying to find a proper word.

“Bad at being a Scout?” You offer. She shakes her head. “Well even if that’s not the word you’re looking for, it’s true.” You huff, now moving onto the armoire in the corner of the room. You let the rag gently trace the intricate carving on it, finding little joy in the indented details that attracted dust.

“Sour! He thinks you’re a bit sour.” She deduces. You look at her with a somewhat hurt expression.

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well I don’t think you’re sour, neither does anyone else.” She reasons.

“But your approval isn’t what I need… not that I need approval!” You say, quickly.

“But you want his, don’t you.” Your squadmate states, earning a groan of dismay from you.

“I don’t even know why! I know I was chosen for his squad for a reason and that my statistics show for themselves, but there is just something in me that demands for him to like me as a person.” At your statement, she bursts out laughing. An incredulous look flashes across your face at her reaction. “What?!” You exclaim, feeling a little self-conscious now.

“Oh nothing, you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

It was getting tougher to breathe evenly. You were trying to focus on your breaths; in for six seconds, hold for two, out for seven seconds. Instead, you felt like you were exhaling faster than you were inhaling, providing little air for your lungs. It was like some dust was lodged in there and wasn’t budging. Maybe it actually was dust and all those times that Levi had told you to cover your mouth was for a reason. Your shirt was now fully soaked in your red blood and it started to leak out onto the prickly grass. Please let the others be okay, you think, your eyes still stuck on the azure sky. You could hear the faint yells and screams from scouts in the distance. There would be no chance that anyone would come back to get you, they were too far away. I’m going to die alone with my own thoughts, you conclude, letting tears drip from your eyes as you awaited your lonesome death. The mechanical sound of ODM gear roused you from your thoughts, causing your eyes to dart over towards the commotion. Whoever was using the gear landed quickly and their steps over to you were urgent.

“L/N!” They shouted. Your eyes closed at the voice, finding it quite ironic that the man who hated you the most would be the one to comfort you as you slipped away into the awaiting abyss of darkness. He dropped to his knees beside you and quickly scanned over your body to find the source of your bleeding.

“Levi…” You said, gasping in pain as he removed his cape from his shoulders and pressed it into your abdomen. 

“Hush, brat, we don’t need you exerting any more energy than you have to.” He says, his tone still the harsh one you were used to.

“I’m sorry.” You manage, causing his gaze to lock with your own. He found your eyes to be swimming with yes, tears, but also incredible remorse. His hard exterior fell a bit at this.

“Why on earth are you sorry?” He asks, now taking off his Scout jacket and laying it across you to preserve your body heat.

“I’m sorry that I was such a bad scout… and a bad cleaner… and that I was so sour that it made you hate me.” You finish, giving him a sad smile. Levi shook his head immediately, and slid his body so it was easier for you to look at him.

“I never hated you,” He says softly. Your eyes widen at his words. “You were noisy, and talkative, and sometimes even energetic to a fault… but I never, ever hated you. How could I, when you were such a source of sunshine?” You didn’t make an effort to stop that sob that escaped your mouth.

“Man, I really blew it, huh,” you croak, feeling more lightheaded than before. Levi cocked his head in confusion. “She told me that i’d figure it out soon enough, and now that I have, it’s way too late.” You pause to take a few breaths. “I love you. That’s why I wanted you to see me as capable. But now I’m dying, and your face won’t be the one to greet me after I wake up, even though most of the time you were yelling at me because I overslept.” A strained laugh escaped you as Levi looked at you with despair laced in his eyes. “What I wouldn’t have given to just end this whole thing and leave to live in a flower-filled meadow or somewhere peaceful like that. Wouldn’t that be sweet?” You whisper. Your fingers and toes were growing numb and your body felt cold. You were running out of time. The moment your eyelids began drooping, Levi frantically lifted your head and set it down gently in his lap.

“No, no, no, you keep your eyes open Lieutenant.” He was practically begging you at this point. “I shot a signal flare so the medics will be here soon, just hold on.”

You gave him a grin, but your once pearly whites were now stained with red. Your hand reached up to cup his cheek, ignoring the screaming pain in your side. You saw the blood that your hand was smudging on his cheek, but he made no effort to cringe from it or try and wipe it off.

“You tell them that I wasn’t a crybaby when this whole thing went down, okay? I want everyone to remember me as someone who stood strong in their last moments.” Levi was shaking his head as he reached his own hand up to yours so that he could hold it.

“I’m not gonna do that, because you’re gonna be okay. You do not get to leave me, you understand?” You felt your hand begin to grow wet with his tears.

“Please don’t be sad, Levi.” You ask of him, your eyes pleading. “Can I get a smile? I’ve never seen one on you once, and I think it would look just wonderful on you.” To your loopy surprise, he obliges, sprouting a wobbly, but visible, smile. You were right. He looked wonderful. In the distance, but coming closer to you, you could hear the sounds of horses pulling a wagon behind them.

“See, the medics are right here. Just hold on a little longer!” Levi exclaims, worry still prevalent in his demeanor. You felt people gather around you, but you were too tired to open your eyes. The last thing you felt, before your mind slipped into unconsciousness, was the feeling of Levi’s lips on your forehead. What a sweet escape.

A/N: This could potentially have a part two? Idk, I’m pretty much fine leaving it here like this, but if anyone wants a part two lemme know!

[frogtanii]

embarrassed ft. matsukawa issei

wc. 2.7k (???)

warnings. SMUT, not proofread lol, mutual pining (??), friends to lovers (???), cunnilingus lmao, no dom/sub dynamics, well actually dom&sub issei if you squint rlly hard hehe, kinda cute, embarrassed issei <3, also one (1) WAP reference

an. it’s 2:30 am and i have no idea why i wrote this and who for???? i got the idea from a 🦋😳🙈✨ audio and was immediately inspired idk, sorry if it’s bad i lichrally have no idea since i didn’t read it after it was done :p

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

it wasn’t like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed.

he was handsome, intelligent, and funny, not to mention he never left women wanting after a night with him.

issei was the entire package and he knew it.

beyond superficiality though, he was happy with his life. he had a great group of friends, a nice apartment all to himself and a completely normal job.

yes, being a funeral home employee wasn’t the most glamorous career a person could have but he was happy. besides, it never deterred him from getting a warm body to sleep with which was a win in his book.

all in all? his life was great!

so why did he have to go and screw it all up?

issei blames makki and the dumb flyer for the reason his life went to shit. (maybe he’s being a little dramatic, but let him have his oikawa moment.)

he was minding his own business when his best friend (recently turned enemy) burst through his apartment door with a piece of paper in his hand and a fire in his eyes.

“dude, look at this!” issei rolled his eyes, putting down his casket catalogue and turning to meet takahiro’s gaze.

“why hello to you too. remind me why i gave you a key again?”

“because you love me and because i bring shit like this to you. look!” with another long and suspiciously tooru-like sigh, issei took the crumpled paper from makki and immediately stopped in his tracks.

“makki... what the fuck is this?”

written in large pink letters and a flowery, borderline illegible font was the name, coffee and cunnilingus. upon further inspection and careful reading, it revealed itself to be a little cafe opening up about 10 minutes from issei’s apartment complex who were looking to hire “young, attractive men who are proficient at eating pussy.”

issei could feel his eyes narrow and his mouth drop open in shock as he repeated his question. “the fuck is this?”

makki shook his head excitedly, tapping to another portion of the flyer that matsukawa had not yet read. “no, no dude, just look at how much they’re paying per hour.” issei begrudgingly obliged but the minute his eyes touched the (Massive™) number, he felt a little faint.

it was a lot of money. more than the funeral home was paying, that’s for sure. with that kind of money he could move out of this suddenly dingy seeming apartment and into a nice flat in the city were he’d always wanted to live. maybe he could buy himself a nice watch or even a high-end suit to replace the one from his highschool graduation (aka the only suit he owns). with that kind of money, he could erase his student debt 3 years ahead of schedule and get his mom into a nicer place.

it was these thoughts that clouded issei’s head as he found himself standing in front of a cute looking building, matching the address on the flyer. i’ll only be working part time, he thought as he pushed the door open to reveal an equally impressing interior with curtained booths and a wide variety of coffee on the menu. i’m only doing it for extra money, he thought as he shook the owner’s hand after he finished his successful interview. no one can ever know, he thought as he dressed himself in the uniform on his first day.

thus began issei’s super secret side hustle where he ate women out for cash.

sounds worse when you say it outright but it was just working. he was good at it, the women liked him, and he was making BANK. still, there were challenges. some women refused to bathe before coming and he would have to send them to the restroom to freshen up which absolutely ruined his chances for a good tip. some women would become heavily infatuated with him, believing that they were in some sort of forbidden romance. he learned to turn them down quick and easy to avoid conflict in the workplace which furthered his space as a boss favorite. but his hardest challenge by far was meeting you.

you were one of hanamaki’s friends, having met him at one of his brief stints in retail on his search for a job. he had gotten fired but you both stayed in touch after he left, becoming really close, really fast.

issei had met you first when takahiro had invited you to the biweekly seijoh third-years movie night. at first, he had been pissed as an “outsider” had never been invited before and he was worried you’d ruin the vibe, especially since it was the first time in months that oikawa would be able to join them. makki vouched for you through and through and the other boys were okay with it so you were in. the second he met you, all his fears of awkwardness and discomfort faded away.

you were great.

you were hilarious, pretty, and could keep up with makki’s harsh jokes, tooru’s diva attitude, iwa’s tendency to hit (hard), and issei’s original disdain. by the end of the night, he had completely forgotten why he didn’t want you there in the first place.

from then on, you were a staple in their little friend group. you were added to the groupchat where you balanced memes with spouts of deep wisdom and you were ever so reliable, always there if any of them needed it.

yeah, you were great. that’s where the problems started.

issei’s feelings for you quickly went from platonic to romantic, faster than you can say godzilla. he hadn’t even recognized that he was falling for you until it was way too late. normally, he wouldn’t have a problem confessing to you but because of his newly found ...occupation, he was too nervous. how would you take it that he was basically a glorified prostitute? ok, that wasn’t exactly what he did but still! you’d probably find him disgusting and horrible and leave the friend group forever. then he’d have to deal with oikawa’s senseless whining and makki’s subtle digs, blaming him for your departure. yeah, he wasn’t going to put himself through that so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

too bad he didn’t have any control over makki’s.

you and takahiro had been on a little friend-date at mcdonald’s after you’d had a long and frustrating shift. you just wanted to vent, expressing your general hate for your job and desperate need for stress relief.

that’s when makki opened his (big, stupid) mouth and suggested that you visit a little place called coffee and cunnilingus. you nearly choked on your fries at the title before quickly pressing him for details. thankfully, he had the decency not to expose that issei worked there but he had not done a good enough job convincing you not to go there. not that it would’ve mattered. your curiosity was peaked and your libido was high so why not try out the weird cafe where you let a complete stranger stick his tongue inside you?

it was settled. you were going to go and you were going to get eaten out and you were going to like it!

or at least that is what you repeated in your head as you walked to the address on your phone before taking a deep breath and walking inside.

“hello, welcome to coffee and cunnilingus, how might i pleasure you this afterno— yn?” issei’s eyes widened as they met your equally bewildered ones, the both of you staring at each other in shock.

“matsukawa-san, is everything alright?” a large hand rested on issei’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to break (horrified) eye contact with you and move it onto his boss who was now looking down on him menacingly.

“y-yes sir, everything is fine!” he squeaked out, hating the way his voice cracked on his first syllable. his boss looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn’t press.

“well, since nothing is wrong, take this beautiful young woman to a booth where you will assist her!” the hand resting on issei’s shoulder slowly squeezed, making him wince in pain. the pain was only an afterthought though to the larger implication of his boss’ words. he’s going to assist you. assist as in pleasure. pleasure as in eat you out.

holy shit, you were going to pass out.

apparently, issei had the same thought process as you, his face whitening like a sheet. “m-me? but sir i-“

“do your job matsukawa-san!” his boss cut him off with a forced smile. all issei could do was nod and silently lead you off to a closed booth near the back or lose his job. you stayed close behind him but remained quiet, absolutely terrified of breaking the silence and ruining the bubble you had created.

you finally reached the booth in question. issei gently opened the curtain and motioned for you to get it, to which you obliged and he followed just behind.

the moment the curtain closed, you were enveloped in an awkward silence and tense atmosphere, neither of you speaking or looking at one another for fear of one of you running out. after what felt like hours, you opened your mouth to speak, not realizing issei had thought the same thing.

“so-“

“i-“

you finally made eye contact with him and burst into the laughter, the tension quickly broken. it took a full minute or two for the both of you to calm down, the absurdity of the entire situation finally catching up with you.

“you first,” issei said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes while fixing you with an intense gaze swirled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place but it made butterflies bubble up in your stomach. you quickly turned your gaze to the comfortable seat beneath you, your fingers playing with the red stitching while you thought of what you had wanted to say.

“are you any good?” your hand flew up to cover your mouth as your cheeks filled with heat, the embarrassment of your words catching up to you. you hadn’t meant to say that but when you opened your mouth to apologize, you were stopped in your tracks by the lovely sound of issei’s full-bodied laughter filling the tiny booth.

you had heard it just moments earlier but without the sound of your own giggles drowning it out, you couldn’t help but think that he sounded beautiful. you basked in the sound as it slowly trailed off back into silence. now it was you doing the staring making issei look off with a red face and a heart threatening to pound out of his chest.

“y-yeah i’m pretty good. you want to try? me, i mean?” his words nearly leave you gasping, your brain working overtime to try and comprehend what he was saying to you.

“only if y-you want to? what do you want issei?” you whispered, suddenly unable to find your voice. you wanted this to be okay for him too; you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable even though you wanted him more than you could verbally express. despite the embarrassment and fear of rejection lingering under your skin, you stared at him, awaiting his answer. a tiny minuscule nod came from him and you internally shook your head. you needed to hear him.

“i need you to say it, issei.” your words, while quiet, were firm and issei felt himself hardening in his uniform slacks. he swallowed in his increasingly drying mouth before opening his mouth to respond.

“i want to eat your pussy. can i?”

shit.

your own voice was stolen by his words and all you could give him was a nod before he was on you.

issei didn’t waste any time falling to his knees, pulling your panties down, and hiking your skirt up to your stomach, revealing your glistening folds to his hungering eyes.

“fuck, you’re so wet,” is all the warning you get before he’s licking a long stripe up you from entrance to clit before he’s sucking the hard, sensitive nub into his mouth. your eyes immediately rolled back into your head, your hips instinctively bucking up into his mouth while a gasped moan of issei left your lips.

if he could bottle your moans and use them whenever he pleased, he would, the sound sending another pulse of arousal to his already hard cock. he was tempted to reach down and pull himself out of his trousers but he denied himself. this was about you; you and your wet ass pussy.

issei continued his ministrations on your clit, circling it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth while his hand was ready to get busy. it crept up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine until it reached your sopping entrance, two of his fingers teasing the slit before delving in to the third knuckle.

the moan you let out is borderline animalistic as your body sends another wave of slick pulsing out over his hand. he groaned into your cunt at your tightness, his mind only imagining him deep within you while you squeeze him for all he’s got.

the amount of slick you produced made it easy for him to add a third finger, thrusting them in and out while also crooking them upwards in search for your special spot that would have you seeing stars. it took him a little prodding but he knew he found it when your back arched, your hand came down into his hair, and you whimpered out a string of curses.

“that’s it baby, cmon, you’re doing so well, wanna see you come apart for me,” he all but growled against your clit before delving back in with a higher intensity, his desperation for you to come winning out his desire to tease you and drag this out as long as possible.

with his incessant pressure on your g-spot and his lips suctioned around your clit, it wasn’t long before he got what he wanted.

“isseiisseiisseiissei, i’m coming, i’m coming-oh fuck!” you screamed as you clenched and gushed all over his fingers, your entire body caving in with the intensity of your orgasm. his fingers were practically forced from your spasming cunt but they quickly found a place rubbing your nub side to side as fast as possible. the overwhelming urge to pee came over you and you shook your head, trying to push his hand away.

“no, no, give it to me, i know you can,” issei groaned, his eyes locked on your dripping pussy. the pleasure he was giving came to a head at his words and you felt a clear liquid escape from your tired, overstimulated cunt, your mouth opening in a silent moan before collapsing back on the seat.

the sight proved to be too much for issei as he felt his body tense, his own orgasm washing over him as he emptied himself into his boxers. he fell back onto the ground, in shock of himself coming entirely untouched. he’d never done it before but of course it was you that would bring it out of him. a smile spread across his face at the thought, his head tilting back as he laughed, catching the attention of your worn body.

“what’re y’laughing at?” you slurred, cringing a little at how fucked out you sounded but issei didn’t seem to mind, his face glowing while covered in your slick and cum.

“nothing, nothing, but uh, i have a question.” you felt your heart leap to your chest, your mind already racing with the possibilities. he’s going to say this was a mistake, that we’re just better off as friends. oh god, what if he says i stunk? or the worst pussy he’s ever had? or what if—

“want to go and get a coffee?” he asked, the smile still plastered on his face but with an uncharacteristic hint of shyness. the butterflies were back in your stomach as you shyly nodded before allowing him to help clean you up and standing, not missing how he slipped your lacy underwear deep into one of his pockets.

issei’s hand found its way into yours as he said goodbye to his coworkers and boss before leading you out of the cafe, watching you tell an animated retelling of the bullshit that occurred at your job with a warm grin on his face and pink cheeks.

it might not be like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed but if it resulted in getting you by his side? he would do it again and again.

[kpopkitty01]

hey, idk if u take requests, but i was thinking about a Ateez Mafia reacting to their S/O unaliving themselves? if you are uncomfortable with this types of request i’m really srry.

Hi, thank you for the request! I had to google this because I was unsure of what it meant. It was a little bit of a rush job. It’s a tricky subject but I tried my best. I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

[Mafia AU] Ateez Reaction to their S/O Ending Their Life

——————

(In no way am I condoning, supporting, promoting, or justifying mafia or gangster behavior all of this is the work of fiction and should be thought of as such. Also I am not saying any of the members in the scenarios would act or behave in this way. I just write these for fun and for entertainment for others.)

[Warnings] Trigger warning, Talks of suicidal tendencies and actions.

Mafia AU, Angst

(Having this hit home; I feel I should say if you are going through something like this please talk about your feelings with someone you can trust. Remember your a special human being that deserves life just as much as anyone.)

Hongjoong:

Hongjoong had always made it almost a rule to never date any woman over a couple of months. He was really active in his lifestyle and didn’t want a strong commitment or someone he felt obligated to, but when he met you that rule changed. He never could get enough of you. Whether having long meaningful talks or spending time in your embrace kissing your precious lips. He would spend crazy amounts of money on you and never expect anything in return unless you insisted. One evening you were out to dinner and Hongjoong had noticed something under your sleeve on your wrist. “What’s that?” Hongjoong reached across the table for your arm. You winced in pain. He rolled up your sleeve to see cuts. He looked confused. “Why would you do this?” You pulled back your arm and forced back tears. “It doesn’t matter.” “Of course it matters!” You told him you had always fought with depression and sometimes you would get to the point of not wanting to live anymore.” He sighed and his face was completely written with worry and stress. “Please Y/N don’t ever do this again. I couldn’t bare losing you.” You nodded. A year had passed and recent family events had pushed you to the very edge. Hongjoong wasn’t lying when he said he couldn’t bare losing you, because a month after your passing he had too decided that he didn’t want to live.

Seonghwa:

Seonghwa was going over some plans when two of his men knocked on the door. “What is it?” “Sir, we have something to tell you“Come in.” The two men stood in front of him neither one of them spoke right away. “Well?” Seonghwa said obviously being irritated by the fact he was interrupted while planning a heist. Both men looked at each other as if contemplating who would deliver the news. “This better be important I’m really busy and...” one of the men finally building up the courage spoke, “Sir, it’s about Y/N.” Looking a bit confused now “What about her?” The man looked down to avoid eye contact “She’s dead.” He stepped back as if he had just been shot. “How? When?” In an instant, his confusion and pain disappeared and it turned to rage “I’ll kill whoever did this!” He said with a fist to his desk. “Who did it! Tell me!” He held back all his tears. “Nobody killed her Boss. It was suicide.” “What?” He felt his body go limp and had to sit down. “We found her this morning. She didn’t want you to find her. She had left a note for us so we’d know where to look and find her body.” Seonghwa dedicated all of his time to search for any reason why you killed yourself. He was devastated and slowly he came to the point where he could no longer lead and stepped down from being the boss. Rumor had it that he left because he couldn’t handle all the memories and he went to a different city to join a new gang.

San:

Wooyoung had personally told San the terrible news. “No, there’s some mistake. Y/N wasn’t suicidal she loved me! She’d never do this!” Wooyoung tried to calm San down by resting a caring hand on his shoulder. “Don’t touch me! I thought you were my friend why would you tell me these lies!” Feeling his anger rising by the second he turned away. Wooyoung spoke in a quiet tone still trying to calm his friend down. “I’m not lying. Here’s the letter she left. See it for yourself.” He handed it to San. San took it from him and began to read. When he was done he handed it back to Wooyoung. He walked over to the window and looked out of it without really looking at anything just avoiding Wooyoung’s gaze. The silence was broken by Wooyoung “I’m sorry San, I know how you must feel.” San turned around. “You have no idea how I feel. Leave I wish to be left alone.” Wooyoung nodded and left the room. San sunk to the floor and thought long and hard about the whole situation he had come to the belief that you hadn’t ended your life and you must still be alive and that you just ran away because being part of his mafia lifestyle was too much to handle. He sent out all the men he could to search for you. Forcing them to search day and night till they brought you back alive, but they had finally found you and brought back the news that you were indeed dead. This had caused San to completely snap. San had become more of a bad person and did even more heists and jobs that earned his gang the reputation as the most feared gang around. He thought of you everyday and felt he killed in your honor.

Yeosang:

You were in the bathroom for a long time. So long it was to the point where Yeosang had knocked on the door to check and see if you were ok. “I’m fine.” You said abruptly and he heard the sound of pills rattling. A few minutes after he had knocked you came out. He saw you come out. “So I was thinking maybe later tonight I could treat you to a nice dinner at our special restaurant. I want to celebrate a very successful deal.” He chuckled till he saw you at the corner of his eye slowly taking out a chair and sitting down as if you were about to pass out. “Honey? What’s wrong.” He rushed by you. “Your white as a sheet!” Tears filled your eyes “Yeosang, I’ve done something terrible and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday.” His eyes went big as he connected the dots. “No, Y/N, tell me you didn’t overdose.” All you could do was sob “I’m so sorry.” He turned away from you and went to look for his phone. “I’m calling an ambulance.” Gathering up strength you furiously shook your head “No! You don’t understand I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to live anymore!” The words seemed to stick in your throat as you spoke. “But I need you.” He looked around more. “Where’s my phone?” He said aloud in desperate frustration. “I hid it, I knew you’d call for help. But I don’t want it.” He walked over to you and cupped your head in his hands. “Honey, please don’t leave me.” He sobbed and picked you up in his arms and brought you over to the couch. Rocking you in his arms as he spoke to you. Till finally you had stopped breathing and went into your eternal sleep.

Yunho:

Yunho came into the apartment. Same time as usual he took of his shoes and went to the refrigerator for something to drink. He found it odd you weren’t there. Because usually you’d be in the general location of the first room so you could greet him when he got home. It came to mind you were playing some kind of game for him to find you. He began to look around for you. He looked in the laundry room, bathroom and lastly the bedroom he was about to look in a different room but something caught his eye on the bed. It was a note in your hand writing. He read the first few lines and felt his heart drop. No way was this happening. He read the note “Please understand that I just can’t go on like this. It wasn’t anything you did I just discovered that with whoever I’m with I just can’t be happy and that this world is too much of a despicable place to be a part of...” you had written more but the letter had fallen out of Yunho’s hand and he was now on the floor crying. When he had gained some composure he called some of his men in the gang to search for you. When they discovered your body Yunho being overcome with guilt and sorrow. He was never the same again. He became more involved in the mafia and vowed to never love anyone again.

Mingi:

Things were great in yours and Mingi’s relationship he always made time for you and showered you with love and affection. You had both come to a mutual agreement that he’d keep his work to himself, feeling that was the best way to make your relationship work, but it wasn’t long till a rival gang had discovered your existence and had kept a close eye on you. You became paranoid every moment of every day that they would find you and kidnap you to try to get their way to Mingi. The constant anxiety and fear made you feel small and defenseless and it wasn’t too long till your sanity was something of the past. One day you had decided to take one of Mingi’s pistols to the throat. It was that day Mingi’s heart had broke in two and his world had ended. For the entirety of that day he succumbed to his emotions and wouldn’t let anyone see him, but the very next day he was out for blood he knew why you had done what you did and he wasn’t about to let that gang get away with it. He straight away set forth plans to wipe out that gang for good. He wouldn’t stop till every last member was dead if it was the last thing he ever did.

Wooyoung:

Being that Wooyoung was one of the more ruthless in his gang he was more rough around the edges and would get mad at you and demean you sometimes not really taking notice of the effect it had on you. It was what he was used to and he knew he loved you and treasured you more than anything and it was his assumption you knew that too. After he left you’d find yourself crying alone and trying to tell yourself everything was ok and he cared for you but your mental state took a turn for the worst when soon you telling yourself these things just wasn’t enough and you had decided to end it all. Wooyoung blamed himself he absolutely hated himself for treating you the way he did. He filled his apartment with pictures of you as if bringing you back in some kind of way. Alcohol became his best friend and he’d spend his evenings drinking till he was drunk enough to forget the things that tormented his mind if only if it was just for a little while.

Jongho:

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Jongho said in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. You crossed your arms in front of you. “That’s just because you know it’s true.” You said this with anger but your voice broke and tears ran down your eyes. “I’m just scared Jongho, I’m scared that this dangerous job you have in the mafia is going to get you hurt or killed. I can’t handle this anymore. Please stay home today.” you cried more. “I need to go.” He said as he grabbed his things and headed for the door. As he reached for the knob he looked back at you. “I love you.” Later on Jongho came back with flowers. “Y/N, I’m home.” He called out to you. He waited for a few moments to see if you’d come out and see him. “Y/N?” He went to the bedroom and immediately knew something was off. There was a collection of empty pill bottles on the bed. He heard the water flowing from the bathtub in the bathroom connected to the bedroom and knocked on the door. “Y/N? Are you in there?” No answer. “Y/N?” His eyes filled with panic as he went to open the door but he felt something in the way. He dropped the flowers he was holding and pushed as hard as he could against the door he got it open wide enough to slide in. And saw you had barred it with a cupboard that was in there. He saw there was a bunch of water on the floor and what he saw next would be ingrained in his mind for the rest of his life. He saw your form in the bathtub unmoving. You wore your favorite dress and held a picture of the two of you in your hand which was now soaked and ruined. Jongho’s eyes filled with tears as he kneeled down and took your cold hand in his. If only he had known earlier you were crying out for help. He never would have left. He would have stayed and made you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered to him.

[jasperswh0re]

heyy sorry to bother you and idk if your still doing requests but can you do a jasper hale x reader fluff where she’s walking down the isle when they get married something like that idk how to word it but that would be amazing thank you !

yes aaaa this is so cute!!!! I am such a sucker for weddings, especially writing them. Also, I’ve provided a little background music when the time comes (you’ll know when) so feel free to listen while reading. Not required tho!!

Summary: It’s finally your wedding day. You and Jasper have been nervous for the entire day, but the moment you land eyes on each other you know you’re meant to be.

Word count: 1,230

Warnings: None

---

Jasper was as stiff as a board. All he could do was stare out of the window, anticipating the next hour. Edward and Emmett would rotate through to check on him but otherwise, he was left alone with his thoughts. 

He had been ready for hours. He could care less about how he looked but Alice was determined for this wedding to go smoothly. Had she not been with you, he assumed she would be by his side in reassurance. She was his best friend. 

Jasper exhaled in an attempt to let go of stress but it was no use. Nothing could shake his worries. A few moments later he felt Emmett and Edward approach.

“It’s almost time,” Edward said, his voice just above a murmur. 

Jasper nodded but didn’t look at his brothers.

You paced around the room, nibbling on the edges of your fingertips. Rosalie and Bella sat on a couch not far from you, watching your anxious form, bored. Alice was the only one standing, her hands held up to keep you calm.

“He wants to do this, (Y/n), please... Just put on the dress.”

You were completely ready besides putting on the wedding gown. It was gorgeous. But your mind couldn’t think that far ahead.

“But what if he doesn’t?” You cried.

“He does,” Bella interjected.

“Jasper was terrified to even touch me six months ago...” You whined. “Maybe this is moving too fast...”

“Impossible,” Rosalie sighed. “You’ve known each other for four years. You’ve known about all of us being vampires for two. He trusts you. He wants you.”

“And I don’t see a single future where he doesn’t go through with this,” Alice placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her with terrified eyes. “Or a single one where you don’t either.”

You stared at Alice a little longer to see a trace of insincerity. After a moment, you found none. Even if she was lying it didn’t matter. The love you and Jasper share was greater than any possibility. 

“Alright... Let’s do this.”

***

Jasper was like a statue on the altar. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you didn’t want to go through with this, you just felt obligated. What if he killed you? What if he couldn’t stop himself while turning you? 

These questions ran through his mind until he felt Edward’s hand on his back. 

“Calm down,” He said. Jasper turned toward his brother also to see Emmett not far behind. The bulky man threw a pair of thumbs up. 

Before he could respond music sounded in the woods. Esme had pressed play on a speaker since no one hired a musician. The beginning notes of Hallelujah managed to calm him down some. You always wanted this song to play during your wedding. No matter how cheesy or cliché

For the first time that day, Jasper smiled. All the memories he shared with you flowed through his mind.

The two of you were getting married on a trail that you guys walked every morning at the crack of dawn. You were the first human he met that willingly woke up that early. He could recall the first time the two of you found this trail in high school. The smile grew wider on his face.

Once you graduated Carlisle had a cabin built not far from where Jasper stood. At any moment you were going to show up on the trail. To share forever.

“She’s coming,” Edward whispered. “Don’t get cold feet.”

“You know I can’t help that,” Jasper joked. Edward chuckled. 

Jasper stared at the woods once more, looking past the barren chairs. It was a small wedding. Only a few members of the pack sat in the seats, with Esme sitting in the front. On the other side sat your parents. 

Another moment passed and excitement fluttered. He could feel his sister’s anticipation. He could feel your worry. It was refreshing for him to know you felt the same as he did. 

Reneesme walked into view, throwing buttercups onto the trail. She smiled widely at Jasper before joining her grandmother.

You weren’t far behind Alice, Bella, and Rosalie, violently clutching onto your bouquet of flowers. You did your best to keep steady, staring down at your feet. One step at a time, you thought.

The music filled your ears in moments. It was time. All of your worries washed away when you could see the buttercups on the forest floor.

Jasper was calming you down. 

You mentally cursed him, making sure he could feel your annoyance. 

You drew in a breath when your bridesmaids found their places on the altar. You stared up at your fiance with wide eyes.

Nothing else mattered in the world for Jasper. All he could see was you. You shone brightly amongst the green hues of the forest. This image of you will forever be engraved into his mind.

The love between you both was immeasurable. Tears immediately welled up and you couldn't hold them in. If possible, Jasper would be tearing up all the same. 

Your warm hands met his and you both looked to Carlisle, who was officiating the wedding. 

“I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking each and every one of you for being here on this most happy of days,” Carlisle began. “We know that it’s no accident that Jasper and (Y/n) are standing here before us. Now, I’m not going to ramble, so I’ll let them share their vows. (Y/n)...”

“Jasper,” You said. “I had no clue what I was walking into when entering a relationship with you. I had no idea of the adventures and possibilities that would follow.

“But I am beyond grateful for it all. The good and the bad. I’m grateful even for the good and the bad that will come. Because that’s what love does. It makes you accept the beautiful and ugly that comes with a person. It makes you vulnerable at probably the worst times. 

“So as I stand here in front of you, I am saying that I love you. This love I feel is limitless and overflowing. For you, I’m for it all. Good, bad, pretty, and ugly. I am with you... for you... in love with you,” You finished. 

Carlisle nodded his head at Jasper to begin.

Jasper cleared his throat, his eyes still glued onto you, “(Y/n)... The day I met you... I never foresaw this moment.”

A smile grew wide on your lips as he spoke.

“The love I knew before meeting you was not the kind of love that neither you nor I deserve,” Jasper said. “You came along while I was healing, while I was hurting. You showed a new, profound love that my words cannot describe. For once... It made me look forward to the future.

"Every day, every moment I spend with you... You reignite my soul. You remind my heart of the love we share. That love is immortal. Ever burning. Forevermore,” Jasper said. “I love you (Y/n) (L/n).”

Jasper didn’t wait for a second for Carlisle to say the words. His cold lips pressed against your own as he dipped your body. You happily clung onto the edges of his coat, smiling into the kiss.

When you pulled away everyone was clapping. Yet the both of you could only hear each other’s whispers.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

[supremeinlilac]

Three’s not a crowd, especially when it’s us (1)

Summary: Its just part one idk what to say? oh, its a slow burn :) The idea came to me at 4am and I’ve just ran with it, it was initially going to be like 4 parts, and now its probably more like 10.

Word count: 2546

Warnings: mild language 

You weren’t quite sure how you’d managed to get through 2 months of being at Miss Robichaux's without accidently revealing your true ‘power’ to anyone. You thought that Ms Goode, of all people, would see through your bland lie about setting your families house on fire being the reason you’d ended up at the academy’s front doors. Instead, she’d simply nodded at you with a kind smile and a tour of the house.

You’d met all the witches, heard stories about the house and how this was now one of many schools like it that the Supreme had opened since rising. Some of the other houses were for the young witches and were more discreetly placed to avoid the inevitable hate crimes that witches still faced, while some were for the older women who’d always been taught to hide in the shadows and supress themselves rather than flourish. You’d fallen into the middle, gifted witches that were brought to learn under the Supremes’ close guidance and protection.

Your first night had involved sitting beside the fireplace with Zoe and Queenie, who were asking of your abilities and showing their own with stories of before Cordelia’s reign as supreme. You were awed by Queenies voodoo abilities, laughing at the time she’d stabbed her hand with a fork when Madison was being bitchy. You insisted she show you sometime. Madison was back at this point, you’d yet to meet her as she was off on some trip but Zoe had already advised you to stay clear. They weren’t even sure how she’d got back from hell, normally she would be the first to brag about something like that, but apparently she’d kept relatively quiet about it.

You’d met Ms Venable the next day, after hearing hushed rumours from the other girls about her sharpness and generally how they were all scared of her intimidating grandeur. She’d given you your lesson timetable with a quick flick of her eyes down your body at your state of undress when you’d come to the door, barking about having some decency. Her striking features and the perfect peaks of her red hair had you scrambling for something coherent to babble back to her as she turned and left you, mouth agape and staring after the strike of her cane on the ground.

Although Ms Venable had no magical abilities of her own, she was no less admired and feared among the other witches at the academy, her quick wit and sharp tongue more than compensating and aiding in her looming dominance. She prided herself in teaching the girls practical non-magic skills and subjects that they could put to use in due course when their time within the school’s halls ran out.

The girls had whispered and giggled to you about Ms Cordelia having a thing for Ms Venable, because of how she used to flush and stumble over her words in the presence of the woman. You hadn’t noticed in your brief week at the academy, mainly due to not having seen them together an awful lot in that time.

Over the weeks you found yourself watching their fleeting interactions, mentally noting the way Cordelia would shift under her gaze at the breakfast table. How she would be the first to pick up the fallen cane as it clattered to the ground; never using her telekinesis for it either, she would go out of her way to get up and retrieve it, small smile and glances exchanged as she did so.

You understood why the girls had picked up on Cordelia’s feelings for the redhead, but you were surprised at how they’d missed the obvious way Ms Venable would soften when she looked at Cordelia teaching when she’d walk past the open classroom door, or the way she’d grip her cane until her knuckles whitened when she caught one of the girls imitating the Supreme. You thought it was obvious, maybe it was just you. Maybe it was just that you’d grown rather fond of her and liked to observe the small habits that she’d do when annoyed or relaxed.

It was clear they didn’t just like each other, but that they were together, whether they formally declared it or not, to you at least; the lingering touches and glances when they thought no one was looking.

Over your weeks at the academy, you’d grown to appreciate the time you were able to spend alone with either women. You were always the first to volunteer your time in the greenhouse or to carry files for Ms Venable when she walked past a classroom with papers balanced precariously in one arm.

Cordelia had developed a soft spot for you, as an eager and caring student. You’d laugh and mess around with the plants in the greenhouse and share stories of times when your magic hadn’t quite gone to plan. You’d become infatuated with her laugh on one of these nights, when she’d let down all barriers and just enjoyed herself without worry.

Once, and at the time you’d totally thought yourself to be completely pushing your luck, you’d arranged a dinner for the pair of them out there, hauling Wilhemina’s chair outside from the kitchen so that she would be comfortable. You’d known that they’d both been stressed and hadn’t had much time for themselves away from the hum of the girls. Happy as always to oblige, you’d thought they’d appreciate the small moment to enjoy a meal together in the peace of Cordelia’s safe space.

They did, of course. Although it was only the Supreme who voiced her thanks, squeezing your shoulder tightly while Ms Venable shot you a momentary smile and a nod of approval. Since then, you wanted nothing more than her approval again.

***

At the dinner table, Madison had made some offhand remark about your magic which had sent ripples of barely contained laughter down the table. You’d looked up to Zoe who just gave a sympathetic grimace and a shrug, everyone else just continued sipping at the soup, an occasional slurp breaking the quietness. Everyone was so used to Madisons comments and attitude that they just took to ignoring it in uncomfortable silence.

You were not used to it. You didn’t understand why everyone could just sit and let her berate people as she did, you’d been brought up in kindness and empathy. Pushing your chair back, you emptied the contents of your bowl into the bin before quickly leaving the kitchen, guilty faces watching you leave. Cordelia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, knowing as the headmistress and supreme she shouldn’t stand for the way Madison talked to some of the girls, but she knew that aggravating her further would be a worse idea. Wilhemina’s hand came to settle discreetly on her thigh, squeezing slightly and grounding her in a silent way to tell her that it wasn’t her fault.

You’d slipped out into the greenhouse to let of some steam, moving objects around and letting yourself set random balls of paper on fire safely as an outlet for you to bubble your frustrations out through magic. After having done so, you settled into one of the chairs in the corner, pulling your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on them.

It had been Ms Venable who came through the doors to find you, heaving a sigh as she lowered herself into the chair beside you and balanced her cane against the arm. She sat rigidly, as always, hands clasped in her lap and one leg balanced over the other. Allowing herself to observe you, she took in your slumped shoulders and tired face which you hid in your drawn up knees.

“Cordelia sent me.” She stated, straight to the point as always, and you lifted your head in acknowledgement.

She’d lied, Cordelia hadn’t sent her. The supreme had actually wanted to come herself but Wilhemina had said that she’d go, that she needed to talk to you anyway; but she’d never tell you that of course. She had a stature to uphold.

You sat in uncomfortable silence, neither one knowing what to say to put the other at ease. Wilhemina didn’t really know how to start conversations with anyone apart from Cordelia that didn’t begin with a barked command or condescending jab.

“Ignore Madison. That insolent girl needs to be put in her place.” She quipped; lips drawn into a thin scowl before softening as you looked up at her. “From what I’ve seen and been told, your magic is coming along quite nicely. You should be proud of your progress.” She added quickly, suddenly finding great interest in the hanging plants that Cordelia had been tending to over the past few days: a new addition to the greenhouse.

“No. she was right. I’m not upset about Madison; I’m upset because no one knows me. Not really.” You mused, an appreciating smile gracing your lips for a second at her words. It wasn’t that you were overly affected by Madisons words, it had just served as a reminder to how you were keeping everyone in the dark.

“What do you mean?” She asked softly, as soft as you’ve ever heard her talk, hand reaching to draw your knees out from under your chin so you could uncurl to speak to her properly. You inhaled a shaky breath, fingers digging crescents into your knees as you prepared to tell her the thing you’d been hiding for months.

“Promise you won’t get mad?” You asked hopefully, knowing it wasn’t something she could, or even would want to promise to you. She shook her head shortly, “you know I can’t promise you that.” Pushing it to the back of your mind, you decided to just blurt it out; now or never so to speak.

“I’ve been keeping my natural power a secret. I lied on my first day. I- I didn’t set my house on fire.” You admitted, head hanging shamefully and tears pricking at your vision. You didn’t need to look at Wilhemina to see the scowl that would inevitably be forming to replace the slight smile she’s had, at your stupidity.

“And you didn’t think Ms Goode needed to know of this?” watching you in disbelief, shaking her head and tutting. “You’ve been here long enough to know better, missy.” She scolded, making to get up by bracing her hands firmly against her knees and reaching for her cane.

You scrambled off your seat, frantically holding your hands up in front of you towards her in an attempt to stop her from going. Your hands found purchase on her wrists and you guided her slowly to sit back down, pushing slightly when she protested.

“No, no please- I mean, don’t go.” You pleaded, eyes wide, squatting in front of her so you could fall to a kneel, making sure your face was in her line of vision and she could see how scared the thought of having to tell Cordelia of your dishonesty was making you. Shuffling in place where you knelt, you quietly muttered your thanks when she settled back against the chair.

She scoffed audibly to make you aware of her distaste at the current situation but made no attempt to move your hands from where they now rested near her hands on her knees, or even to suggest that you move them yourself. Accepting that you weren’t going to let her leave until she’d listened, she let her curiosity pique and, raising her brow in question, she asked you shortly.

“What ability is so embarrassing that you decide to keep it from us all for so long? Lord knows it can’t be as bad as being a human gluten detector.”

You appreciated her dry attempt at humour to deflect from the uncomfortable silence you’d fallen into. Fidgeting your fingers against the fabric of her skirt, you remembered a dream you’d had where you’d told Zoe of your power and she’d turned the whole coven against you. Brushing it off, telling yourself that Zoe would never do that, you continued to admit to Ms Venable.

“I’m not even sure of it myself, I can’t find a name for it anywhere. I don’t even know if it has a name.”

“So it’s rare?” Wilhemina seemed to strike an interest then, straitening up and raising her eyebrows as if to prompt you to continue. She did this until she seemed to remember that she’s meant to be uninterested and she forced herself to scoff and reached to tweak her earring deftly between finger and thumb.

“It will have a name. Incompetence is the reason you cannot find it.” She stated coldly, lips pursed in intolerance. “That or your just looking in the wrong place,” she added, noting the way you looked down at your trembling and twitching fingers when she was mean.

You paused, having a momentary realisation of what you were doing before the thought was swiftly pushed to the side of your mind by the familiar pull of your magic at your fingertips.

“C-can I show you?” you blurted, almost clamping your hand over your mouth at your unexpected boldness.

“You most certainly will do no such thing, it’s not me that needs to be aware of your abilities, it is Ms Goode that you need to show.” She barked, defensiveness coming back out at your request. You tried not to take it to heart, knowing that that was just her way. Not that she would ever tell you, but Wilhemina felt a lot more secure talking about magic with Cordelia present, where she knew she wouldn’t be judged for having a less secure knowledge of the field. She liked to always be the most well versed in the room, hated to be spoken at about a topic she was new to.

“I can’t show Ms Goode without you.” You tried to explain, an itch of annoyance bubbling under your skin when she laughed at you again mockingly.

“I can’t show Ms Goode without you.” She mimicked, face pulled into a grimace which made you scowl, and exaggerating the words to a degree that just felt excessive, even for Ms Venables constant condescendence.

Your mouth fell open. You couldn’t believe this woman’s nerve.

Something suddenly snapped in your head at her incessant mocking and the condescending tone she used, and you found yourself moving your hands quickly from her knees to her hands, linking your fingers tightly before she could even react. You watched her eyes raise in surprise and the cocky smirk fall from her lips as she attempt to pull away unsuccessfully.

“What are you- get your hands off me!” She exclaimed; voice higher than normal in surprise as your quick movements caught her off guard.

You closed your eyes, trying to block out the way her hands pulled within yours and the sting of her nails digging into the delicate skin of your palms as she tried to free herself. The heat of your magic burned under your skin, the annoyance you felt only serving as a fuel, directing all your power towards the woman in your grip.

When you felt the snap of your magic release, Wilhemina let out a cry of pain and you almost stopped.

Almost.

***

  Part 2

Just to clarify, your powers do not involve giving people orgasms lmaoo. I will never try to leave anything on a cliffhanger ever again rip.

taglist : @pearplate @billiedeansbottom @pluied-ete @extraordinarilycelestrial​@toujours-ensanglante​@mssallymckenna @okpaulson  @magnificent-paulsonn @shineestark​ @commanderspeach @grilledcheeseandguavajelly @amethyst-bitch​​ @its-soph-xx​,,if you want to be added just send me an ask :))

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

[leviiattacks]

No One Sticks Around | Levi Ackerman

note :: this was a request i just quickly wrote it because i managed to find some free time at 3am GODDD crying so hard rn i’m so upset over chapter 138 like i am in tears over it and school work T___T please i literally cried writing this because 138 made me so upset gn i’m a mess rn but if aot ends the way i think it does then idk maybe it won’t be that bad.

pairing :: captain!levi x cadet!reader genre :: angst, angst, ANGST word count :: 1.2k

warnings :: canon typical violence i guess?? not even really violence honestly but mentions of blood etc

He never understood why everyone had to leave him. Never understood why departure had to be defined as death. Never understood what he had done to be the one to witness each and every casualty caused by this misery but never become one of the bodies in the never ending bloody pile.

Living to be invincible wasn't as great as people made it out to be, neither was being as good as immortal on the battlefield.

Sometimes, Levi would look at his reflection and tell himself he had the urge to drop dead. He then would carry on to tell himself he knew he wouldn't be able to do that. He didn't want that really. All he ever wanted was to escape this cave of bloodshed.

The world was caving in and he couldn't do anything about it. No matter how powerful he was he couldn't. All he could do was watch in horror as he saw everyone else slowly die out.

He promised not to grow attached, there was no reason to grow connections or friendships.

Farlan and Isabel were bitter reminders of that.

That day he learnt death was worse when there was a shared familiarity between souls. Part of him died when he found them drenched in the damp downpour. Their blood soaked into the concrete beneath them.

The day he returned from that expedition he reeked of failure. He scrubbed his skin till it became red and he told himself to get a grip. Never grow attached Levi, no one sticks around. Those words remained stuck in his head .

But, he was stupid and made the same mistake again.

He had to redo the promise he made to himself again when he needed to put Erwin's life on a scale right next to Armin's. Another piece of him passed away when Erwin murmured his thanks. Silently, under his breath he told Levi he was grateful for all that he had done.

Levi didn't think he was grateful for it at all. In denial, he thought it was all a formality, after all, the both of them had been through thick and thin together. Erwin probably thought the least he could do before his death was to offer his thanks, that's how Levi saw it all.

Erwin died in his arms. He felt him sag and remain limp, he sensed his breathing falter and he shed a tear when it proceeded to discontinue.

When he returned from that expedition he scrubbed at his skin till it scratched and itched in irritation. He needed to be clean, needed to feel safe, needed to reassure himself that everything was okay. Everything would be okay if he followed his advice this time. Never grow attached Levi, no one sticks around. From then on those words rang in his head twice as often.

But, he was never able to learn in the past so what happened next served to be no surprise at all.

Present day.

He's only gone and done it again.

He's grown attached.

He knows it's wrong to choose you over Jean, he curses himself when he's fighting through his tears asking himself why he's being irrational and risking his own life for you, the weakest member of the squad physically, you've always been a hindrance when it's come to teaching combat. Somehow you scraped it into the top ten all those years ago because of your intelligence and problem solving skills.

As the years have passed you've also made yourself at home in one of the tiny crevices of Levi's heart.

Levi knows Jean is a greater aid to humanity than you, he knows it, he knows it, he knows it.

But, he can't go through the devastation of loss again.

His body acts before his mind can stop him, he darts to your rescue as Jean watches on in terror wondering why his Captain is acting illogically and picking you over him.

You're trying to look him in the eyes, telling him it's okay he can leave you behind and take Jean instead, "MY TIME IS UP. LOOK AT ME LEVI." Screeching and wailing the Earth is coming down to the ground around you.

He can't make himself look at you, he's not willing to change his mind.

Grunting in pain he stubbornly releases you from the grip the abnormal has on you, you're still screaming as you fall down the drop with him, your ear-splitting cries tell him he's made the wrong choice, but as he zips through the foliage aiming to return back to your base he eases up at the way you howl. It comforts him. He's sick and twisted for letting it have that impact on him, he feels like a monster but you're still alive, that’s all that matters. You'll return alive and he'll be able to shelter you from harm’s way.

"Don't let his death be in vain." He whispers the sentence into the shell of your ear and you freeze, his voice is cracking and you hold onto him tighter. You squeeze him in your suffocating grip and sob into his neck, you've both lost a comrade who shouldn't have died today.

By the time the two of you have reached safety he's still afraid to let you go, he hates himself for falling in love with you because the gap between the two of you can't be bridged. You're bound to die if you don't work on your strength and if you don't pass away before him it'll be because he'll stupidly sacrifice himself for you.

Trembling as he cautiously lets you off his back you ask him the long awaited question, "Why did you pick me over him?" Voice breaking up you attempt to keep your cool and find the reasoning behind the foolish decision he made back in the forest.

Levi turns to you hesitantly, his eyes are glazed over with tears and he doesn't know how to explain his selfish urge to you, in the moment he just knew he had to save you, knew he needed you to keep going.

Then he blurts it out without stopping to think of the repercussions of his words. "I'm not the kind of man to confess."

His hoarse voice tenses midway through, he has to cough in-between the sentence but his words are still able to sink in. They hang in the air and then what he means hits you.

You're worth more than humanity to him.

He loves you.

You nod acknowledging what has been said. "Your actions have told me as much." is all you can manage to choke out.

His eyes flick to your face, he's trying to memorize your features off by heart, he needs to commit them to his memory, he can't afford to forget how you look.

"Dying isn't an option for us." Your voice is soft and fragile.

He takes a hold of your hand and begins to draw circles atop your palm.

Edging closer to him at first you lean in to offer him a hug and tell him everything will be alright. Brushing his hair out of his face and stroking his scalp time passes excruciatingly slow

Gazing at you he Releases a shaky breath and unexpectedly grabs you by the shoulders lunging forward. His lips smash into yours, you give into his hold and the apprehension drifts away. Kissing him back you whimper into his mouth, you’ve never kissed anyone before but it all feels so right with him. His hands fly to the back of your neck tilting you deeper and you oblige. It feels like you’ve lived just to share this moment with him.

For now, he won't have to go back and scrub at his skin till it grows red.

For now, you have him and he has you.

Grow attached Levi, no one sticks around.

[conscious-love]

I just read that post about ghosting people and right now I am indeed ghosting someone. they sent me messages that kind of offended me, annoyed me and I generally do not care a lot about them and it's not worth any conversation or explaining (or even arguing, idk), so I decided to ghost them, especially since there's sort of a connection with my ex because that person is friends with them... I think it's the healthiest decision for me to makr. what do you think?

Hello 👋 It’s nice to see that you’re curious about the impact of your behaviour on others. Open-mindedness is one of my favourite traits in a person. Self-awareness as well.

This is the post anon is referring to

Edit: here is the next ask they send me, and here is their final ask.

I’ll give you my insight on your specific situation, then I’ll share my thoughts on ghosting in general.

First of all, I think your decision to not have them in your life anymore is 100% okay. You don’t even owe them an explanation, although that would be the ideal, so if you’re brave enough to do that I think you should. You are not obligated to stay with anyone, romantically or otherwise. But the ghosting part is where I have the problem.

If they sent you messages that “kind of offended” you, they must not have been that extreme. You said it “annoyed” you, not that it made you extremely angry or that it upset you dearly. So I’m going to assume that this person was neither harassing you nor being abusive toward you. Correct me if I’m wrong. Because it’s not extreme, you don’t feel it’s worth arguing about. That seems like a healthy response to me. But about it not being worth the conversation? Since you don’t care about them, it makes sense that the conversation seems pointless. Why work to fix something with someone you’re not invested in? So I get where you’re coming from. But I do think that if you are brave enough to say to them, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” you should. If not, try to be brave. If you can’t, then I guess your only options are to ghost or stay. I don’t recommend staying in relationships we don’t want to be in, so normally I would say to go, but in the case of ghosting, I won’t. I’m not saying that staying is the better choice, but ghosting can be so harmful that I won’t condone it if it’s not warranted. So I can’t recommend one over the other. Ultimately your decision should depend on your beliefs and values.

My thoughts on ghosting:

I’m not necessarily against ghosting, as it has its place. Sometimes it’s the only way to cut someone out who keeps pulling you back in because you’re not strong enough yet to ignore their manipulation. Sometimes it’s because we’re being harassed by someone and asking them to stop hasn’t worked.

But like this post by Mark Groves says, sometimes it’s because we just don’t have the ability to have difficult conversations.

That said, I think everyone should aim to get better at having these types of discussions. Lack of emotional regulation is a real issue, and with the growing trend of coddling, self-victimization, and entitlement, I think it’s getting worse.

No matter the reason for it (except harassment and abusive situations), ghosting someone is not okay. It’s understandable, based on their emotional difficulties, but it’s not okay.

Being ghosted causes a LOT of damage:

In future relationships, when someone takes longer than usual to reply, we worry they’re going to ghost us, and this might cause us to sabotage the relationship with our insecurity. Or we’ll suffer silently from paranoia.

It implies that they think we aren’t worth the two seconds it takes to text us, “hey, I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Whatever they said in the relationship about respecting us, being honest with us, caring about our feelings? ALL of that falls apart and gets called into question. We think, “how much of this relationship was even real?”

We question our intuition. “I was so sure I knew who they were and how the relationship was going, but I was so wrong. I can’t even trust myself anymore.” We don’t trust the signals we get from our intuition, so we either sabotage future relationships before they can even start, or we stay in toxic relationships when we shouldn’t.

We question our competence in relationships, and might come to believe we’re unloveable or that we’re toxic (and it’s our fault people leave).

Being ghosted makes a breakup so much more painful than it could have been had we been told the truth. It’s SO hard to move on without closure. Without explicitly being told, “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” our mind goes crazy trying to make sense of what happened. “Did they really love me like they said or did they play me? Do they still think about me? Are they going to come back? Maybe they just got scared and I should reach out to reassure them. Maybe it’s me. What did I do?”

To recap, there are many reasons someone may choose to ghost someone, some justified but most not. These people should do the work to get better at communicating, and try as hard as they can to be honest. Even a single text that says, “it’s over” is exponentially better than saying nothing. It may feel cruel to give such a short goodbye without explanation, but it’s not. It’s the decent thing to do. The reason you don’t want to have the full conversation is probably because you don’t want to deal with the other person’s anger or sadness. But what you need to realize is ghosting hurts so much more than that discussion. If you’re scared to hurt them, saying “it’s over” at the very least is the kinder thing to do than saying nothing at all.

I don’t know if this is what you wanted to hear, Anon, but these are my thoughts. I hope this helps! Take care 💙

~ Bella ✨

[rainbowsky]

Another delicate thing about fake ships. (I'm not talking about our YiZhan. They are real. For better or worse certain (dangerous) evidence have reached public eyes. We all know it, many have seen it). But certain ppl new to c dramas might not know that actor CP is just part of the show. I didn't know when I started. Then those people invest a lot of time $ and emotion into that CP believing it's real. And get the rug pulled from under. It's unfair to those naive ppl and it harms certain ppl. Like it or not some get really invested. To hurt them is cruel and triggering. It can feel like rejection and I really wish actors wouldn't partake in this. To profit off ppl's beliefs is cruel. Again. NOT yizhan, two men in a very real situation.

These are in reference to a previous post. More under cut.

Discussion of fake ships, fandom rivalries and insecurities around whether BJYXSZD.

Anonymous asked:

Semi agree that I don't follow other CP. but when others do fake cp and claim "evidence" even when it is flimsy. It makes me question myself and I hate that. There's so much hard evidence for xz and web. When others have "evidence" too and it seems so forced and fake, not to mention copied from yizhan, idk it makes me feel bad. Like maybe we're all crazy. I wish other dramas didn't do that. Be real. Don't fake it. The other men have gf's. It's just derivative and I think that's why ppl get offended. Web and xz seem serious about their life together and for others to profit of their realness... It just makes me question it. If we have evidence and those fans truly believe they do too... Either we are all right, or maybe we are all wrong. And I hate to deny web and xz. So it's hurtful. I hope someone can understand my feelings.

Sorry for the grouping of messages but I don't want to give this too much airtime because it can lead to hurt feelings from people who support other ships, and because this isn't what my blog is about. It's about GG and DD.

I try not to judge anyone harshly when it comes to fan service and CP marketing. It's a cutthroat industry and I think we can all see that. But I feel that making a CP seem real just to profit off of people for a while and then breaking their hearts... it's not something I personally feel comfortable with. It strikes me as unnecessarily cruel.

However, we don't know what's in people's contracts so we should be careful about judging anyone or being nasty. In the end people are just doing their jobs, whether we like it or not. And some fans enjoy it. Live and let live.

As for other actors being 'derivative' of GGDD, I completely disagree. It's not like GG and DD invented the CP. The whole concept was there long before them, and will likely be there long after. Even in cases where there were similarities to what GG and DD did, I don't think it's something to get worked up about. We don't own GG and DD's interactions as some sort of IP we need to protect.

I said this back when people were fan fighting over the BL CPs, that it's ridiculous and awful to fight over something like this. We should all be on the same side. BL stories are not easy to create or air in China - we all know that more now than we did back then - and the more BL stories that get aired, the better for everyone. The better for the market, the better for fans, the better for queer people too.

History has shown that cultural shifts can lead to legislative shifts. As queer stories become more mainstream, the demand for rights - and the public's appetite for seeing those rights observed - becomes stronger, and positive change happens. It is, in fact, likely a big part of why these types of stories are being cracked down on. Some people don't want that change.

If we care about these issues we would do well to support all BL projects and everyone who is willing to stick their neck out and make those projects happen, not just our particular biases.

Not only that, but fan wars are harmful to GG and DD, harmful to any celebrity whose fans are 'out of control'. I have been preaching this for a couple of years now, but here we are in 2021 and what have we seen? Artists being cracked down on for the behavior of their fans. Rules coming out to clearly state this, hinting at harsh penalties.

So please, people - take it to heart. There is no war that you don't CHOOSE to create. This isn't a competition. There is room for everyone to have fun, be happy and enjoy their fandoms in whatever way they choose.

Everyone has the right to their perspective. I said this the other day. No one is obligated to believe BJYXSZD, and similarly, no one is obligated to disagree or debunk. If people are enjoying their CP, that's their right. Let's not get smug and dickish about things. We aren't in competition.

One other thing I want to add: We should be willing to question ourselves, question our evidence and re-evaluate things from time to time. It's just part of being a rational human. Insecurity about what is 'real' and what isn't - all of this is pointless and IMNSHO, unhealthy.

Bad feelings should never make us into bad people. Bad feelings should never make us do or say bad things.

Insecurity is understandable at times. We're all human. But I urge fans to try not to take everything so personally, and to not get our identities as human beings wrapped up in whether BJYXSZD.

Whether GG or DD are real or not - this doesn't make me crazy or stupid or naive. I believe based on the evidence I have. If I turn out to be wrong about it - ME, who has this blog and spends an enormous amount of time on GGDD - if it turns out to all be wrong, my life won't shatter. I won't curl up in an embarrassed ball and die.

I get a hell of a lot of enjoyment out of this fandom. That enjoyment is real. My love for GGDD is real. I am a person in the world. I don't live and die over whether BJYXSZD. Neither should any of you.

My love for GGDD doesn't come from them, it comes from me. It's not about them, it's about me. It's about my heart and my appetite for sweetness and connection. It's about my politics and what I stand for and support. It's about everything inside me.

If their relationship was proved to be fake, or if it was to end, that wouldn't change a thing for me. I would still be the same person with the same heart. I would still have the same values and drives. I might be sad, of course, or even hurt a bit depending on the circumstances, but it wouldn't change who I am or what I'm about.

I will never be ashamed of loving someone. I will never be ashamed of sharing my heart or letting something touch my heart.

I won't be taking any more asks on this subject unless they bring a substantially fresh perspective that hasn't already been expressed. I apologize in advance if you send me something that I don't reply to/post. This is just a boundary I have with asks like this.