#and like the show so far is pretty neat

[weirdlynotspecific]

So I've seen some mixed reviews on the new Mister Mxyzptlk and I think it's actually hilarious.

In my experience Tumblrs overall response has been: OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE GREMLIN MAN HE'S GONNA COMMIT HOMICIDE THAT GOOBER✨🐸!! (This is where I am)

And Twitters has been: WELL PLUCK MY NOSE HAIR AND SEND ME TO ALASKA THEY CREATED THE DEVIL. HE'S RUINED AND THE SHOW IS THE WORST ACTUAL PIECE OF GARBAGE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I WANT IT TO BURN IN THE ACID PITS WITH THE HELL RATS AND THEN MAYBE IT WILL WASH ITSELF OF THE SIN COVERING IT'S SHAMEFUL EXISTENCE.

[masked-and-doomed]

Bound to our own realities, ones that not even the Old Gods can bridge the gap on. We yearn for each others' embrace eternally.

[silverandebony]

haha noooo i'm not going to finally go memorize chunks of st augustine's confessions book x just because i found out abt it though wolf 359 and have been vaguely meaning to since then nahhhh dunno what you're talking about,

[thebuttsmcgee]

I'm going to be so honest guys, every part that just shows the whipple family, I can honestly not care for at all

[grasshoppergeography]

Hey All,

I've been away for some time, as we've been working really hard on something quite exciting:

let me present to you the world's first ever global ocean drainage basin map that shows all permanent and temporary water flows on the planet.

This is quite big news, as far as I know this has never been done before. There are hundreds of hours of work in it (with the data + manual work as well) and it's quite a relief that they are all finished now.

But what is an ocean drainage basin map, I hear most of you asking? A couple of years ago I tried to find a map that shows which ocean does each of the world's rivers end up in. I was a bit surprised to see there is no map like that, so I just decided I'll make it myself - as usual :) Well, after realizing all the technical difficulties, I wasn't so surprised any more that it didn't exist. So yeah, it was quite a challenge but I am very happy with the result.

In addition to the global map I've created a set of 43 maps for different countries, states and continents, four versions for each: maps with white and black background, and a version for both with coloured oceans (aka polygons). Here's the global map with polygons:

I know from experience that maps can be great conversation starters, and I aim to make maps that are visually striking and can effectively deliver a message. With these ocean drainage basin maps the most important part was to make them easily understandable, so after you have seen one, the others all become effortless to interpret as well. Let me know how I did, I really appreciate any and all kinds of feedback.

Here are a few more from the set, I hope you too learn something new from them. I certainly did, and I am a geographer.

The greatest surprise with Europe is that its biggest river is all grey, as the Volga flows into the Caspian sea, therefore its basin counts as endorheic.

An endorheic basin is one which never reaches the ocean, mostly because it dries out in desert areas or ends up in lakes with no outflow. The biggest endorheic basin is the Caspian’s, but the area of the Great Basin in the US is also a good example of endorheic basins.

I love how the green of the Atlantic Ocean tangles together in the middle.

No, the dividing line is not at Cape Town, unfortunately.

I know these two colours weren’t the best choice for colourblind people and I sincerely apologize for that. I’ve been planning to make colourblind-friendly versions of my maps for ages now – still not sure when I get there, but I want you to know that it’s just moved up on my todo-list. A lot further up.

Minnesota is quite crazy with all that blue, right? Some other US states that are equally mind-blowing: North Dakota, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming. You can check them all out here.

Yes, most of the Peruvian waters drain into the Atlantic Ocean. Here are the maps of Peru, if you want to take a closer look.

Asia is amazingly colourful with lots of endorheic basins in the middle areas: deserts, the Himalayas and the Caspian sea are to blame. Also note how the Indonesian islands of Java and Sumatra are divided.

I mentioned earlier that I also made white versions of all maps. Here’s Australia with its vast deserts. If you're wondering about the weird lines in the middle: that’s the Simpson desert with its famous parallel sand dunes.

North America with white background and colourful oceans looks pretty neat, I think.

Finally, I made the drainage basin maps of the individual oceans: The Atlantic, the Arctic, the Indian and the Pacific. The Arctic is my favourite one.

I really hope you like my new maps, and that they will become as popular as my river basin maps. Those have already helped dozens of environmental NGOs to illustrate their important messages all around the world. It would be nice if these maps too could find their purpose.

[evilminji]

You know what I think would be neat?

Loki, the Sky Walker himself, when he fell beyond the trees branches but before that Purple fucker could get him... felt A path, much like the hidden ones he'd wandered for YEARS, and franticly tries to catch himself.

After all, he let go in a moment of incredible emotional distress. But that moment passes. The fear kicks in. The natural, strategist's, "survival at all costs" primal drive starts SCREAMING. You grab for the ledge. Try to STOP your fall.

But~!

What if? What he was FEELING?

Was a Natural Fuckin Portal.

And Loki is no slouch! He manages to change his trajectory. His mind is still in shambles, he's an emotional wreck, mascara probably running, just? Having THE WORST month or so of his life. He's too pretty for this bullshit, he would insist, if he wasn't FALLING THROUGH THE VOID.

He's made some choices.

They may have been ill advised.

Possibly even terrible ideas, actually.

But he's come too far to die NOW. And if his brother's insane adventures and hare brained schemes haven't killed him, then THIS sure as shit won't be putting him in an graves. He refuses to allow it.

He expects to slam face first into alien dirt. At speed. It? Is going to HURT, he knows.

But that is not what happens.

He passes through a yawning portal, into Veridian skys, and slams face first into the back of passing youth. Knock BOTH of them from the sky and through several nearby floating islands.

He nearly gets punched for it.

The boy only stopping, fist merely moments from his faces, when he seems to finally register the state Loki is in. The next thing Loki knows? He's being rushed off Yeti healers. A FUSS is being made.

The youth is strong arming him into being a guest in his... frankly ALARMING home.

Loki likes the Gothic one. She seems like she bites. But the boy's parents BAFFLE him. The boy, "Danny" just? Showed up with him? And declared he was a "visiting Fenton Cousin"? SURELY that can not WORK! Boy, they are your PARENTS, they know better then YOU who is and is not rela-.....

How did that work.

No, HOW DID THAT WORK? Child answer me. And explain the violent cold meats.

Just? Loki, intellectually stimulated, like a cat in a fresh new environment. Removed from stressors. Not the strongest being around by far, but enjoying the challenge none the less. Fulfilling his life long trained role of "king's advisory" in an almost relaxed Highly Sarcastic Uncle On Vacation Who Is Also A Semi-Feral Cat sorta way to this new Child King he found.

Loved and respected for Being Loki. Just Loki. No preconceived notions to fulfill, no roles he must play, just... Be Loki.

Best part? Asgard and Thor and such? Irrelevant! Their own closed system far, far away. He's finally FREE of the shadow Asgard casts. He's taken "starting over in a new country to escape a toxic home life" to a whole new weight class unique just to him. The dude is THRIVING.

And? I bet he REALLY enjoys tormenting Vlad.

@ailithnight @hdgnj @hypewinter @lolottes @nerdpoe

[yanderenightmare]

you didn't pay Toji his bounty, so now he's coming to collect, and BOY- when he sees YOU and how rich you live all expensive in your mansion and pretty clothes, you can take a wild guess how he's gonna have you pay

Toji Fushiguro

TW: NSFW, noncon, derogatory nicknames, light bondage, spanking, implied breaking and entering

fem reader

Rope eats into your flesh, keeping your legs shut, rendering you unable to do much of anything but hop about like a bunny if you were to try it. Looped tight around each plush thigh right in the crease of your buttcheek, squishing into the fat of your inner thighs to show your kitty in all its wet and swollen glory.

You whine while he pets the folds, simpering condescendingly at you, “Don’t cry, princess- I’m gonna fuck you soon, don’t you worry your pretty little tiara about that…”

You ball your fists as his fingers brutishly rub over your clit, biting your palms with your manicured nails where your wrists are bound together in a neat knot atop your back.

“Just gonna have some fun with you first...”

Toes curled in the plush powder-pink carpet below; you’re bent over the back of your white-leather sofa chair – hips pressed firmly against the spine for every hit his palm makes against your plump tush – branding one cheek before changing and repeating, making the perfect skin welt with his handprint. 

You yelp the first few times, but then you cry – not used to such cruelty, always having been kept all soft and safe – all previous boyfriends vanilla mommy’s boys, not like this beast.

Your knees grew weak beneath you, soon trembling. But he spared you no sympathy despite it – only cooing at you through a wicked grin, clearly mocking you while rubbing soothing circles into the sore flesh with greedy fingers digging into the dough.

You whine when the hand reaches between your thighs again, running over the wet and swollen folds before splitting them – sliding to your hole, then sending two fat digits right inside it. He stations the other hand on the small of your back to keep you still when he brutally starts pumping the tightness.

“Shit- so tight and wet from that-” He jeers, then slaps the soft mound. “You rich sluts are such freaks, ain’t ya-”

The sound of a belt unbuckling comes next, and then the heavy drop of his pants hits the carpet.

You shuffle, but you’re not going anywhere – and if you somehow could, you wouldn’t get very far.

“This is it, princess- the moment you’ve been waiting for,” He groans, lifting the fat of your ass cheek in one hand while pointing his round cockhead up to your twitchy coin-sized hole. 

Clicking his tongue at the pretty sight, he slid his length between your pussylips first – just to tease – fucking the little triangle between your thighs until he was properly bathed in your velvety slick.

You wiggle, but it doesn’t do you anything other than make him lick the teeth of his smile, nudging his tip into your taunt welcome.

Your fingers reach before curling into a pair of tremoring fists, shaking your head in dread at the intrusion, stomach twisting while whimpers escaped you – taking every thick inch of meat one slow second at a time. “Yea~” He laughs breathily, grinning at the sight of you grating your thighs. It was clear you weren’t used to the mass. “I bet that hurts- you’re tight like a fuckin’ virgin-”

He buries his hands in the cake of your ass for purchase, gripping it tight with a hiss while leaning over you – pushing himself as tight and deep as possible – feeling you throttle him while you whine at the stretch – bratty mouth stuffed with your own silk panties. 

You’re breathless once he bottoms out. No air and no sounds, just eyes squeezed tightly shut, seeing white spots – back tense and arched like a cat before dropping into a pretty slope, releasing a filthy wet mewl into your gag – standing on your tippy-toes with thighs shaking.

But the sting is nothing compared to when he starts thrusting – lolling his hips back slowly, letting you feel every ridge and vein drag along your walls, only to slam right back in – the force making the armchair you’re resting on jump forward. 

Kneading your ass, he uses the fat in his grip to pull you back on him – his hips slapping into you from behind – making you choke on it.

You should have fucking paid him – you think in regret once he starts the rhythm, quick and deep. Making you pant out like a dumb little bitch in heat, yelping every time it fucks just a little deeper, hitting someplace new and tender – discovering new places you never even knew existed before now, stimulating every little nerve begging for the attention.

He tangles a fist in your hair, lifting you up until your head rests on his shoulder – one sturdy hand balancing you by the hip whilst the other holds you up by the neck – making your tits strut forward, jumping as he continues to jut up into you.

“Just like that, ye? Fuckin’ stingy bitch-” He grunts in your ear. “Right inside that tight rich twat of yours.” 

He landed another slap to the sore flesh of your rear, making you tighten up even more – clenching so tight he had to sink his teeth into your shoulder to keep from nutting too soon. You smelled sweetly spicy – so expensive it made his eyes roll beneath his lids – spiking his movement even more, rutting against you.

You scream, the silky lace of your underwear gone completely wet in your mouth now, just a soggy ball you chewed between grit teeth – trying to will away the knot winding up so tight in your gut, needing release.

Your efforts bore no fruits – soon, something pulled you like a rubberband and snapped just the same, making you clench tight on the fatness stuffing you full, shaking as the feeling seized you.

“Fuck- look at yah- takin’ my cock like a proper little fuck-toy, hm? Cummin’ like a whore- not so prim and proper now, are yah?”

[huboi]

POLY! SATOSUGU ˖ . ☆

MINORS DNI!!!

╰┈➤ includes; poly satosugu ft gn! reader, a separate part where reader is afab and how they comfort you during period time, shoko is included because she’s a #girl boss, separate nsfw part, they didn’t have the kfc breakup in this so dw

╰┈➤ a/n; the shibuya arc destroyed me and I’m in desperate need for fluff, reader’s a sub (sos to all the tops/switches, I’m just a sub at heart)

these guys are complete opposites

but in a good way that they pretty much compliment each other

when you entered their life, they were smitten

they were both dating before you came into their life, they never thought of having another partner but then you came along and boom

satoru is a clingy bastard

this goes for both you and suguru

neither of you guys are safe from the menace that is satoru

he’s clingy but you guys love him for that, cause that means cuddle piles 24/7 when you’re all free and not busy with killing curses etc.

suguru is the peace keeper in a sense, he’s the most chill

like if there’s ever an argument between you guys, he’s usually the one that encourages communication

my guy knows that communication is very important in order to maintain a healthy, happy long lasting relationship

suguru shows affection more subtlety than gojo

instead of rushing towards you as soon as you come home, he instead has food ready for you if you’re hungry, if not then he just puts it in the fridge for later

one thing suguru loves is having his hair played with, you can brush it, braid it, anything, he’s like a Barbie doll

speaking of hair when you guys are sleeping, 9 times out of 10 you will find sugurus hair in your mouth, even if it’s tied in a neat bun (which he doesn’t usually do since he likes having his hair down when sleeping/relaxing)

geto is very caring and reminds you of a mother/father figure, since he always asks you and gojo wether you’ve eaten, had something to drink etc.

not in the overbearing way either, he just wants to make sure his loves are in top condition :3

shoko is the no.1 wing woman, like she roots for you guys all the time, she’s so glad that this chaotic duo found you

if you ever wanna hang out with her without the boys, you usually have to sneak out since gojo is really reluctant on letting you go without him, not in a toxic way, he’s just really fucking clingy and so wants to be around you as much as possible

but as soon as you tell him suguru’s coming home when you’re gone, he instantly plans out the little date they have whilst you go out with shoko

speaking of dates, they’re either spent in a fancy ass restaurant for dinner, or a causal night in with take out whilst watching a movie, gojo insisting on horror even though you and suguru both know he’ll piss his pants and hide behind a pillow throughout the whole film

shoko fourth wheels you guys a lot, even though suguru tends to not show affection outside of the house, gojo lives for PDA

like when you guys are walking, he’ll slither between your bodies so he’s in the middle, only to grab both of your hands and intertwine them🥹

gojo is also a big fan of cheek/forehead kisses

yes he loves kissing you on the lips but that’s more so for in the house

gojo tends to get very grumpy when you don’t reciprocate his affectionate gestures, but dw you can cheer him up by bribing him with his favourite sweets, it usually works, if not that then you can make it up to him in the bedroom *wink wink*

when sleeping gojo tends to spread out his long ass limbs as far as they can go, which leaves you and suguru barely any space

gojo defo snores, man sounds like a whole ass tractor at best, at worst a bloody horn that you hear on ships

suguru doesn’t snore, he just mumbles in his sleep sometimes, which is cute low-key

gojo is a light sleeper (due to his six eyes) and suguru is a heavy sleeper, like you have to suffocate him with a pillow to wake him tf up sometimes

whenever you have a cold/are sick, the boys become so doting, satoru somehow becoming even more clingy even though you keep on warning him that he may also get sick too, cocky bastard claiming ‘I won’t since I’m the strongest’ only to, unsurprisingly, have the exact same illness once you’re better

if you struggle with mental health a lot, the boys will do pretty much anything to help you out

gojo usually prefers to buy you loads of sugar/sweets if that’s your thing, if not then he will cuddle you and just be there for you

suguru understands since he has struggled with mental health in the past and is there for you if you want to vent/rant to someone

if you are neurodivergent then they will try their best to help with your needs

eg. if you’re overstimulated they will bring you to the closest quiet area and help you calm down wether via hugs and kisses or giving you some alone time

same goes for if you have a disability eg. you use a wheelchair etc. they are very supportive and they don’t care as in you’re still the love of their life no matter what

IF READER HAS A PERIOD (feel free to skip this if you don’t get periods)

they obviously don’t understand how painful periods can be, but they don’t make any negative comments about it

when you have terrible cramps their hearts ache as they can’t really do much other than giving you medication, hot water bottle and tea

suguru tends to place his hand on your stomach if you want to of course

if you’re craving foods, they will get them for you

mainly gojo tho cause he also loves food

when you get emotional they kinda just stand there like 🧍

one time you cried over suguru giving you a forehead kiss, he was very concerned

bro was worried he somehow upset you :(

they definitely go to shoko for some more advice on how to comfort you when you’re on your period

gojo defo says ‘apperantly orgasms can relief period cramps sooo’

you slapped him in the face

NSFW SECTION!

CW: DOM/SUB DYNAMICS, SWITCH! GOJO, BRAT! GOJO, SPANKING, SOFT DOM! GETO, BRAT TAMER! GETO, SUB!READER, AFTERCARE

when it comes to sexy times, geto is always the one in charge

sometimes gojo gets ahead of himself and forgets his place, only to be spanked till his ass is red by suguru

suguru loves praising you so much, he hates it when you misbehave and he has to spank you

gojo loves spanking you on the other hand, he also loves receiving a spanking from suguru

if gojo misbehaves one thing suguru loves to do is tie him up and make him watch as geto fucks you dumb

gojo cant touch himself, and if he does then he has to have a vibrator on his cock and not cum for 30 mins whilst watching geto fuck you yet again

satoru has a high sex drive and can seemingly go on for hours on end

suguru has a high sex drive too, but it’s not as high as gojos’

gojo’s a horny bastard :(

sometimes you will find yourself being woken up by gojo giving you head in the morning

yes suguru does find out, one way or another, and punishes gojo for giving you head without getos permission (dw gojo and geto both have ur consent to do sexy stuff to you whilst you sleep, you guys all agreed on this in the beginning of the relationship)

suguru prefers giving head over receiving, since he loves making either you or gojo moan out his name whilst he gives you delicious head

gojo prefers receiving but sometimes enjoys giving

gojo mainly prefers receiving from you since unlike geto you don’t tease him

geto’s a fucking tease in the bedroom, to both of you but mainly gojo since he’s so bratty and suguru hates that (secretly loves it)

sometimes gojo will fuck you whilst he gets fucked by geto

aftercare is a MUST for both gojo and geto

especially after an intense session

sometimes you end up slipping into sub space which can be a problem since they both hate seeing you that way

they instantly cover you with kisses, hugs and so much praise

bath time always happens after, the boys joining you

you even have a little snack or a big snack depending on how rough the session was

after you’re all taken care of, the boys and you hop into a clean, fresh bed and fall asleep in each others’ arms <3

© content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER

I ONLY POST ON TUMBLR, IF YOU SEE MY FANFICTION ON OTHER WEBSITES LET ME KNOW ASAP

[milky-aeons]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐅

౨ৎ . . . you swore that you would never fall for a man like GOJO SATORU. but you were not immune to his looks, that suave charm, the silly personality, and before long — he had your heart right in his thieving hands.

warnings: swearing, pet-names, female reader, w.c 1.4k

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who did not impress you the first time you had met him. Of course, he was beautiful — with a boyish face sculpted from marble and moonlight-white hair. Not to mention those eyes — telling of all the shades of blue smashed together and gifted divine power. It was not his looks that had warded you off Gojo Satoru of Tokyo's Jujutsu Tech in the beginning, but his behaviour. He was childish. He was obnoxious — he was everything you were not looking for in a companion, and yet, there would be nights you lay alone in your bed and felt that it was a bit too spacious. That maybe your life was too mundane and rigid, by the book, comfortable. There came a point where you would arrive at Jujutsu Tech bright and early and search for the shaman's jovial laugh. Expect his jokes. Look forward to parrying with him until before you knew it, he had taken up every one of your waking thoughts.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who initially believed your infatuation with the famous sorcerer was one-sided. Until there were signs — excuses to touch each other, the way he leaned down to whisper in your ear and chuckle, letting it vibrate all across your pebbling skin. He's playing with you, like he plays with everyone, was what you told yourself when your imagination ran wild with the possibilities, the what ifs. And then there were gifts; wrapped candies left on your desk, a box of four chocolate cupcakes with two already missing on your window ledge. Before you had a chance to confront the man and ask him what exactly his intentions were, like always, he beat you to the punchline.

The flyhead hovered in its spot at your doorstep, disconcerting in that way curses always were, but laughably harmless. The little spirit was not what had surprised you. It was the sliver of paper it held in its mouth. Gingerly, you took it when the flyhead jutted its chin forward. You unfolded the seam slowly, having a strange inkling as to who it could be from, but refusing to hope for it. Not until you saw his surprisingly neat cursive inked onto the page and forming the question; Go on a date with me? Circle one of these options. - Yes. - Absolutely! - I thought you'd never ask ~\(≧▽≦)/~

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who never made dating him a boring affair. There was not a date the shaman would go on twice; partly because he liked to keep it interesting, and partly because he was the type to get bored quite quickly. Even when you both had become an item and had been together for quite some time, Satoru was the type of man to take you on the most extravagant outings, just to see that sparkle of wonder light up your pretty face. On a Monday evening, he would wordlessly leave a beautiful dress laid out on your bed and written directions to the roof-top restaurant he was taking you to, that night. Come Wednesday, and he'd warp halfway across the world, if only to spend a night with you under the city lights of New York or a romantic hotel suite in Paris.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who loved to show you off as much as he liked to proclaim that you were his, and no one else's. Even if it was in the most flamboyant Gojo Satoru-like way he could. Which very much included scooping you up into his strong arms in broad daylight where everyone could see, or placing a long, lingering kiss against your lips while you stood in line at the shopping mall. Sometimes, he would not-so-subtly kidnap you from whatever menial task you had become occupied with during work and proclaim loud and clear what his intentions were for everyone in the room to hear;

"Sorry folks, but me and my beautiful girlfriend have got somewhere far more excitin' to be, so if you'll excuse us, we'll be goin'~!"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who made it no small secret that he had inherited a generous fortune and loved to spend it on you, whenever he got the chance. Of course, you would balk at him when he offered to buy you that designer bag or those extravagantly expensive earrings just because they'd look so gorgeous on you, baby. He always assured you that money was no big deal to him, and that the old wart's back at his family estate weren't trying to buy themselves a holiday, any time soon.

"Come on, come on, let me spoil you, pretty girl. Let me get ya this dress, it's not even that pricey. No, you can't look at the tag~"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who adored Satoru's playful side. Your boyfriend was as much a powerful sorcerer as he was a giant kid. In your spare time, you both made pillow forts in the middle of your apartment living room. He asked you for the passcode before he let you inside. Using Limitless, Satoru would drape a large blanket over your heads. And in the little fort where Gojo Satoru proclaimed himself king and you his enchanting queen, you both would snuggle together, your head on his chest, and watch silly videos about cats or dogs or anything to extend your time together.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who was an awful cook. He was the type of child born and raised into nobility; had received fine meals spoon-fed to him his entire life and drilled in the ways of Jujutsu — there was no real time nor reason for him to learn how to boil an egg or make simple sashimi. But you didn't mind. In fact, you quite enjoyed busying around the kitchen in your apron when you both decided to stay in that evening for dinner. He'd linger, eyeing the numerous pots and pans and pout, wondering why you would go through this trouble and not let him order the meal to the front door. Then, he'd wrap his muscular arms around your waist and pepper your neck with butterfly kisses, distracting you, making you bark out a lovesick laugh.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who took you walking on the Tokyo skyline during those summer nights where the air was balmy and warm. He'd hold your hands steady and wrap you both in a blanket of his Limitless, guiding you to walk across building-tops and street lamps and the highest apex of the tallest radio tower, just so you could be close to the stars. So close, that you thought if you reached out, you could almost touch them.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who loved when you played with his hair. There was something soothing in the way you carded your fingertips through his soft tresses he let free from his eye-mask. Sometimes, your powerful sorcerer boyfriend reminded you of a preening cat — the way his entire body stretched and hummed when you scratched his sensitive scalp. You, in turn, adored Satoru's wild undercut, the scent of oranges and expensive shampoo he used. And when his bangs became a little too long — you would instruct him to sit and take a scissors to it, loving how he relaxed into you, how he closed his eyes and let the tension of the day melt from his expression.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who loved to feel you close. Any chance he could, the sorcerer would find an excuse to pull you in for a hug, to drape his heavy arm over your shoulder, to place a hand to the small of your back as you walked side-by-side down the street. His favourite place to wrap you in up his arms, although, was during the night when you both laid in bed together. Whether it be you lying flush on top of his body, or him, snuggled into your chest and breathing in your scent. The feeling of you, of your warmth and your energy, always calmed his heart to a steady rhythm. Always warded off his nightmares and kept them at bay.

: ̗̀➛ 𝐘𝐎𝐔, who griped at your boyfriend for having flawlessly complected skin. Who asked him to divulge the Gojo family secrets of skincare, only for him to offer you the cheekiest wink and say I could, pretty girl, but it's gonna cost ya one hundred kisses and at least a life-time's supply of cream and zunda-flavoured kikufuku. When you whined at him for being difficult, Satoru had showed up the next day with two sheet face-masks for you both to try. His; a brightly coloured Pikachu-inspired one, and yours; a ruby-red Charizard.

"You might think I'm lyin', but I'm serious! This is the shit they use at home to make their skin all clear! Even the wrinkly old bastards, baby!"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, who brought you to any events the three big Houses held in the Jujutsu Calendar. You were not formally his wife, so the older members of society always looked at this gesture with sour distaste. Not like he gave a damn, any way. He would hold you on his arm and walk with confidence — with a proud expression, like he held the most beautiful girl in the room by his side. He'd introduce you to the audience with a broad smile on his face. And to end the night, he'd twirl you on the dancefloor, he'd dip you down and set a searing kiss to your lips for everyone to lay witness to. As if to say;

"This girl here, she's the love of my life. Look how amazing she is. All of you guys lookin'?"

✎ . . . requested by lovely nonnie!

WRITING REQUESTS

[chisatowo]

Btw in the random card au Yukina and Tomoe were childhood friends and Yukina was Tomoe's like most trusted person ok anyways Yukina is also the person who was charged with capturing Rokka so uh yeah

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Yuus Food Truck

In which Azul loses his mind over a grilled cheese.

Content stuff: short, one sided enemies to lovers, Azul being a loser, general cringe.

Posting Reqs like this for a bit until Tumblr lets us edit asks. I had a request for Enemies to Lovers with Azul, so I came up with this.

That goddamned Prefect was the bane of Azul's existence. For the past few weeks, he has been gripping his leg in absolute rage within his office as he stares at his weekly reports. Practically frothing at the mouth at the mere mention of you.

Recently, the little Ramshackle prefect has begun a new business venture. A simple food truck on campus selling only grilled cheeses for a singular madol. That's it. He found the idea a bit funny, he'll admit, but he was far from worried.

Surely after a month it would shut down, or at the very least get so few customers it wouldn't impact his business. I mean come on, how much money are you really making from selling grilled cheeses for one dollar? You must be taking a loss!

He was wrong. So so wrong.

Not only have you somehow been profiting from your little side project, but you have taken all of his customers. He is looking over his lounge, nowhere near as full as it usually is. He grits his teeth and heads back into the VIP room. The twins should be here any minute now. 

On cue, the door creaks open, and in come those rowdy twins both with their usual smirks. Azul jerks up, staring up at Jade from his desk. His hand shook ever slightly as he gripped the feather in his hand.

“Well? Did you get it?” The mer asks, gaze steely. Floyd speaks for the both of them through mouthfuls of grilled cheese.

“Mmmhmm yeah, we got you a cheese, here you go. Mmmm.” Floyd took another bite of his as he tossed the wrapped-up grilled cheese onto the desk. 

“Hey watch the merchandise– Are you eating their food?" Azul stared at both of them. Floyd stuffing his face with the one in his hand and Jade elegantly nibbling on his own. He was shocked, betrayed by his own staff. “You guys gave them more money— ugh. I would have expected this of Floyd but you too Jade?”

“The prefect saw me ordering and put some mushrooms into mine that pair well with the cheese. Free of charge as well. How thoughtful of them. I must commend their customer service.” Jade wore a shit-eating smirk on his face as he took another bite, making a show out of it. He seemed to relish in Azul's misery.

“Free of charge?” Azul was flabbergasted. Not only were their prices ridiculously low but they were adding things for free? They might as well be handing their money away at that point.

“Right? I say they should have charged Jade for all he's worth for putting those damn things on. Yuck…” Floyd wrinkled his nose as he side eyed Jade, who just continued to eat blissfully. 

He needed to figure out just what was so good about the damn things. Gloved hands carefully lifted up the wrapped delicacy with such fragility as if it would break from a gust of wind. The wrapping was done well, nice and neat as he peeled it off to reveal what was inside.

Crisped and perfectly brown buttered white bread. It glistened in the light with its heavenly beauty. The cheese was ooey and gooey and so thick that it ran down the sides. So far the presentation was beautiful, but it was pretty damn difficult to fucked up a grilled cheese. He tried to hold back this drool from the smell alone.

Carefully, he took a bite and closed his eyes. His mouth was blasted with flavor. As he savored that magical bite, a gust of wind swept through the room, causing the curtains to dance dramatically. The cheesy aroma lingered, creating an ambiance fit for a culinary masterpiece. This grilled cheese has unlocked secrets of the universe with how much it expanded his mind. This mere sandwich has him on the brink of tears

Azul has to hold his expression. He's not gonna be impressed by some measly sandwich. He's better than that. Though he thought that maybe by tasting it he could be able to figure out what your secret ingredient was, it's clear that isn't the case… This is a simple grilled cheese. He would have to go undercover to discover your cooking secrets.

***

“Heyyy Prefect!” A wry voice hums near the truck, belonging to no other than Ruggie. He knocked on the side of the window and Yuu poked out their head.

Azul watched from the distance, narrowing his eyes as he hyper-focused on the conversation. He admits the front of the Ramshackle dorms was a great location. Close to the botanical garden, close to the main building, not as far as Octavinelle either, and had most of the foot traffic. It's why he had his eye on it for a second location.

“Well if it isn't my number one customer, what can I get ya, let me guess a grilled cheese?” Of course, Ruggie would be their number one customer, which makes sense given his financial state. Figures. Maybe if he introduced a dollar menu…

“You know what Ruggie, you're cool. For you, it's 50 cents. Two for one if you will.” Ruggie pauses for a moment before smiling again. “Awe really? Sweet, can't up a deal like that shyehehehe!” The hyena cackles and you get to work. The window for the truck is fully open, allowing Azul to see in.

You aren't even hiding your cooking technique?! You're just giving all your secrets away like that?! Ohh you foolish fool… This would be easier than he thought.

He must get closer, to see what sort of fuckery is at play here. However, walking up and just watching you cook work is suspicious. As much as he hates to fund this little project… sacrifices must be made… He will have to order a grilled cheese…

Ruggie slinks off, tail wagging happily as he munches on his food. This was the perfect opportunity to approach. He stood up even straighter and approached with determination hidden poorly behind his attempt at a straight face. His scowl dared to seep through but he managed to smooth it out into his sickenly sweet facade.

“Hello, dear prefect!” He watched Yuu perk up through the window as they wiped down their workspace. They glanced over at Azul, completely unaware of his evil plot. “Heya Zuzu what can I get ya?”

Zuzu? That's awfully bold… whatever eyes on the prize… 

“I'd like one grilled cheese please if I may…” Hell yes. Smooth operator. He's so good at this.

“Mkay, coming right up.” Azul leans in closer as you get to work, memorizing everything you do… You just make a grilled cheese… Nothing special. It's just simple bread and cheese you cook in butter. How the hell? Was it the oven perhaps? Did you somehow know of his intentions and we're trying to conceal it?? Ugh, whatever maybe he can sucker you into another deal.

“... You know Prefect, if you just raised the price a bit you'd be bringing in more profits.” 

You shrugged as you pressed down your creation with your spatula to make it sizzle more. “Yeah, I know how money works.” Azul paused and blinked.

“So why don't you do it?” You shrug again. “It's funny.” Azul was perplexed, bamboozled, perhaps even smeckledorfed perchance. You were doing this for fun?! Starting a business for fun. Not for profit which would be beneficial given your situation, but for fun.

“Fun? Really? But prefect– wouldn't you– shouldn't you consider raising the prices even slightly? I mean after all Crowley hasn't been paying you well and if anything—”

“I should shoot you for the mere suggestion of raising the grilled cheese prices. The price is firm. It's never going up even by a cent. Hell, I'm so offended I may lower it.” You pulled the cheese off the grill and started to pack it up, swaddling it with such delicacy and love reserved for newborns.

Azul's mouth hung open for a bit before closing it. “Are you serious? Prefect— Yuu at this point I'm not even mad about the competition I'm– hrk!”  

“You need to relax a little Azul, for your own sake.” You shoved the grilled cheese out the window a bit more forcefully than you intended, making the unwrapped part hit Azul's glasses. The melty butter left grease marks on them, and through the blurriness, he could see your expression. His heart skipped a beat and sucked in a breath. Oh no.

He was in love.

[justlemmeadoreyou]

Temporary Fix*

In which you meet a stranger at a bar, and he becomes your good night

Word Count: 3.3k of pure filth

Warnings: Smut, 18+ content, cursing, spanking, hair pulling, p in v sex(use of protection), aftercare

There he is again.

The devilishly handsome stranger, sitting at the bar two stools away from where you are seated.

He had been here every night you had been, and always looked at you from across the room, or gripped your waist on the dance floor when you were really drunk. But whenever you thought he would make a move, he disappeared.

Maybe tonight was the same too.

So, you decide to ignore him this time. You turned towards the dance floor, holding a classic gin martini in your hands, and stared at the sweaty bodies , moving rhythmically to the pulsating beat. The smooth notes of the gin martini matched the electrifying atmosphere.

Taking a few more sips, you got down and walked to the dance floor, and just then, an upbeat song started to play.

You saw one of your girlfriends there, and she pulled you with her to dance.

You had no idea how to dance. You did when you were drunk, somehow, but right now, the alcohol hadn’t kicked in.

Yet.

As you began to move, swirl your waist, awkward moves ensued, but hey, at least the enthusiasm was there.

A few moments later, you felt the oh-so-familiar hand gripping your waist, and before you could blink, the man had pulled you into him.

Your body collided with his, his grip on your waist tightening. Your mouth dropped open, eyes droopy as you looked up into his hazy emerald eyes.

They were dark, pupils blown out in lust.

Maybe today was the day.

You sneaked your arms from beside your body, and gripped his arms. His muscular biceps that looked so hot, and you immediately imagined him on top of you, his biceps bulging as he fucked you into oblivion.

You blinked your eyes rapidly to remove that image from your mind, and focused on his face.

You both stared into each other’s eyes as you moved to the beat. A few moments later, he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “Y'look really hot tonight”

You smirk, before replying, “Thought you wouldn't notice.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” he offers, sliding his hands downwards towards your hips.

“Sure” you reply.

Soon enough, he’s leading you towards the bar. His hand on your waist, pulling you closer with each step.

You both reach the bar , the dim lights casting a warm glow on the polished counter. The faint hum of conversation and clinking glasses fills the air as you take a seat on the cushioned stools.

The bartender, approaches. "What can I get you two?" he asks with a knowing smile.

He turns to you, his eyes meeting yours. "What would you like?" he inquires, a subtle yet inviting grin playing on his lips.

As you ponder the menu, the atmosphere around you seems to buzz with anticipation

“A rum, neat”

“Same for me”

“Sure”

The bartender turns around, and begins to prepare the drink for you both.

“I’m Harry, by the way”

You smile, his name, laced with an accent, falling beautifully from his perfectly pink lips.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Harry”

“Y/n. That’s a beautiful name. So, you from around here?”

“Nope, moved from California, about 6 months ago. Completed my degree, and then landed a job. How about you?”

“Oh, California? Wow, I guess you left the sun for... well, this place. Brave move! And a job? That's like, responsible and stuff. I'm just a regular dude, you know, not as fancy as someone who completed a whole degree. I’m a musician. Came from England.”

“England, huh? That's, um, across the ocean, right? So, like, you're pretty far from home. And a musician, you say? That's cool. I mean, I played the kazoo once in elementary school, does that count?”

He chuckled, making you blush. His dimples were on show, and he looked so pretty.

“Yeah, that’s actually a really uncommon instrument. It’s cool you learned it, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really remember anything about that now. How about you? What do you play?”

“The big ol’ guitar. And a bit of a piano, that I learned recently.”

The bartender slides the drink on to you, and you both grab it, before continuing the conversation.

“That’s really impressive. So, where do you live?”

“I own my own Residence. A bungalow, if you will. I’ll be glad to show it to you sometime.”

You like where this is headed.

You take a sip of your drink, and it’s really good. Something strong. Exactly what you needed at a Friday night out.

He brings his glass up to his mouth, and that’s when you see his tattoo-a cross on the back of his hand, near the thumb.

“You-you have tattoos?”

“Mhm, many. Would you like to see them?”

You’re surprisingly intrigued. You stare down to his chest, and you could see he had two tats near his collarbones, both sides. Another one was on the middle of his chest, which was only partially visible due to his unbuttoned shirt.

You gulp down hard. Damn, was he hot.

“yeah…”

Your voice trails off, and you hear him keep the empty glass on the table. You look up at him, as he is sliding off his bar stool.

“So, where shall we go?”

“Oh…how about your place? You wanted to show me, right?”

He smirks, “Great idea. Can we get our check here, please?”

He pays for your drinks, before offering you his hand. You gladly hold it, and he leads you out of the bar, to find a taxi.

“Is it too far? I forgot my jacket!” you say, feeling the coldness of the night once you reached out. You rub your palms on your arms, hoping to get some warmth.

“No, just about a 15-minute ride. You cold?”

You stare up at him, and he starts taking off his jacket.

“Right. Here” he wraps it around you, and it instantly makes you feel at ease.

“Thanks, Harry”

“No problem, love”

As the taxi arrives, you both get in, and he gives the directions. The driver starts to drive, and you can't help but notice the subtle, intoxicating aroma that fills up the car. It's Harry's cologne and it smells so fucking amazing.

You gulp down, and turn towards him. Holding on to the backrest for stability, you grab the hem of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss.

It is unexpected, but he likes it. He immediately gives in, kissing you back with the same frevor.

Your lips are cold, but the kiss is hot.

You try to shift on the seat, and get on top of him. But, he pulls back and holds you back down.

“Hey, slow down, bunny. We’ll reach home and then I’m all yours”

He pulls your face back, uttering those words in your ear. You feel a bit embarrassed, but a kiss was definitely better than awkward silence during the whole drive.

“I know…it’s just, you’re so hot, Harry” you control yourself from releasing a moan at the end of your sentence, knowing that the driver was probably hearing everythong.

“I know, baby” he smirks, and pushes you back down on the seat, turning your face up front. You are about to frown and pout at that, but suddenly you feel his cold hands between your legs, pushing them apart.

You quickly turn your face, looking into his eyes with urgency. He stares back into yours, and gives you a questioning look. You realize he’s asking for permission, and you silently nod.

His hand spreads your thighs wider, the dress riding up. You pull out is jacket from your back, where it had fallen messily when you had jumped him. You put it over your thighs to cover yourself.

He reaches your panties, and gently pulls the crotch aside. You spread them wider, giving him more access, you are so desperate. His cold hand touches your clit, and you almost moan in pleasure.

“Shh” he whispers near your ear, before continuing the task in his hands.

His fingers find your clit, and he lightly grazes them on it. You swallow down a whimper, and pull your lower lip between your teeth.

His fingers travel downward, finding your labia and pussy lips. Without warning, he spreads them apart, and starts to rub your arousal throughout your folds. You close your thighs around his hand, and look up at him again. He gives you a look of warning, and you spread them open again.

His finger pushes in, feeling intrusion. He retracts it, and slowly starts to rub circles at your clit again. It makes you wetter, and makes it so much more hard to be completely quiet. He gradually increases his pace, feeling more arousal seeping through your folds. Spreading it all around, making a complete mess of your dress and thighs.

You throw your head back, and he pushes one finger in. It goes in with ease, and he starts to finger-fuck you.

You look down at his hands, his sleeves rolled up and prominent veins protruiding up. The said cross earlier is between your thighs, drenched in your wetness, making it more sinful.

You are getting close, the alcohol making your high approach faster. His long fnger hitting your g-spot, making your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your stomach starts to ache, the rush of the approaching orgasm coming faster and faster. You just need a bit more, a little push, just a little bit more and…

“We’re here”

He immediately retracts his hand, and you blink open your eyes, mouth falling open. You take a few moments to realize that you’re in the back of a taxi, and you need to get out soon.

The car comes to a halt, and you pull your dress back down. Pushing your legs closed together, your wet, drenched panties get rolled up messily, making it more uncomfortable.

With Harry’s jacket in your hands, you try to pull yourself out gracefully, but your legs are wobbly, and your cheeks are flushed red.

You look so fucked out.

You stand by the car as Harry pays him, and he leaves.

As soon as he leaves, he puts his left hand into his mouth, licking off the remnants of your arousal.

That bastard.

You hurry behind him, as he walks across the road and opens the gate. He unlocks it, and then another one. Almost 2 minutes, and you’re finally in.

As soon as the door is locked, you throw away the jacket, and climb up on him again. He catches you, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He pulls your dress back up, grabbing the panties harshly and tearing them apart, and pulling them off from between your legs.

If you were not so desperate to get fucked, you would’ve fought him over them. But right now, you are desperate to get fucked by him.

He walks you to his living room, and to the sofa where he puts your down on the armrest. You both start making out again, tongues sliding messily into each other’s mouths. You can taste the rum in his mouth, and his intoxicating smell makes you whimper into his mouth.

“So desperate…” he remarks, and you grab his hair, getting his mouth back on yours.

A few moments later, you both pull back, desperate for some oxygen. Your hairs are disheveled, lipstick smudged. But to Harry, you look so beautiful.

“Y’gonna let me taste you? Have my tongue between those pretty thighs?”

On another day, you would. Spread open your legs and have him eat you out for hours. But right now, you just want to feel him inide you.

“No, I-I want to feel you, Harry. I wanna feel your cock inside me” you stare into his eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so damn hot. Where do you want to have me? Here? In my bedroom?”

“Here. Please?”

“Yeah? Want me to bend you over this couch and fuck that pretty little pussy of yours?”

“Yes, please?”

You look up at him with doe eyes, and he pulls you back down. Grabbing your waist, he quickly flips you over, and pushes you on the couch, so that you are nicely bent over in front of him. He spreads your legs using his, and your drenched pussy comes into view.

He unbuttons his pants, and quickly pulls them down, along with his boxers. He reaches the pocket for a condom, and tears the foil with his teeth.

Using one hand, he rolls it down on himself, and the other goes back between your thighs.

“Fuck, darling, you’re so wet”

He collects you wetness on his fingers, swiping his fingers between your folds. You push your head into the couch, his fingers diving deeper.

“So, so wet. Bet you drenched the car seat too, didn’t you? Dripping all over it. Bet the driver knew too. Your face was so red, cheeks blushed, lips bitten into your mouth. And your eyes, so full of lust and hunger.”

He pushed two fingers in, and started to finger you, while simultaneously stroking his cock. You moan out into the couch, grabbing into the backrest, anything to pull on. He pushes them to the hilt, and stills his movements, gently twisting them so you would feel his cold rings.

“Fuck. Jesus Chrust”

You whimper and moan, his fingers expertly fucking you back to an orgasm. Your legs clamp close around his hand, and you let out a wild shriek of his name, as you cum hard around his two digits.

“Fuck, fuck me”

Your breathing becomes ragged, and you turn your face, so that your cheek is on the sofa. After a few moments of letting you catch your breath, he speaks up.

“You okay, love?”

“Yeah, yes, I’m okay”

“Good. Want me to fuck you?”

“Yes. Yes, Harry please?”

He pulls out his fingers, and you whimper again, feeling empty. But that is gone soon, as you feel his cock line up with your swollen folds.

“Ready, love?”

You nod, and he finally pushes in.

You gasp loudly, his tip pushing its way in. His length follows, and you realize that he is a lot bigger than you had expected.

“Fuck, Harry-I-Fuck”

You curse into the couch, and he gently and slowly pushes his way into your tight cunt. You take in deep breaths, as you adjust to his massive girth spreading you open wide.

“Can I continue?” he asks.

“Yea-yes”

He pulls back, before gently pusing back in, till he is fully in. He repeats the same motion a few times, till you’re fully adjusted to his size.

Your mouth falls open, warm and heavy breaths passing through your mouth. He is going really slow, and it’s for your own good. But, you want it faster.

Harder.

“Harder, Harry-I-I want it harder”

He groans, before pushing back in, but with more fervor. A broken moan falls past your lips, and you gulp down, your mouth going dry.

“Is that good? Or you want it harder?”

“Harder”

“Oh, baby, you have no idea what you just asked for”

He pushes your legs wide, and grabs your hair, holding them in a makeshift ponytail for leverage to plunge himself inside you. You arch your back, and he pushes back in.

This time, there was nothing slow. He was going hard and fast from the beginning, making your legs shake and your eys to roll into the back of your head. You are impossibly wet, your wetness drenching his cock, making it easier to fuck you.

“Such a tight little pussy, fuck”

He curses, his cock fucking you into oblivion. His thrusts are rough and hard, making your toes curl. You feel his hand rest on your bum, and you want him to spank you.

“Har-Harry- I want you to-I-”

“What, baby? You want me to?”

“I want you to spank me-Harry-”

He quickly lifts his hand off, and strikes you with impact, making you moan filthy, and your pussy to clamp down on his cock.

“You liked that?”

“Mhm, yes, more please”

He spanks you again, and establishes a smooth rhythm of spanking you with each thrust inside your sopping wet cunt.

You feel so fucking good, on the cloud nine of pure pleasure. His cock fucking you so good and deep, one hand pulling your hair while the other spanks your bum red, you feel so fucking good.

“Harry-I'm close-” you mutter out, before falling back limp, your pussy clenching desperately around his length.

“I know. baby. Your pussy's getting tighter with each thrust. You gonna cum for me? Cum around my cock?”

“Yes, please, Har-”

You scream out his name, your eyes falling shut as you feel your orgasm take over. Black and white dots dancing behing your closed eyelids, a beautiful kadeidoscope of pleasure. Your legs begin to shake as his cock fucks you though your euphoric high.

After you're done cumming, he doesn't stop, chasing his own high.

“I'm close too, baby. Gonna cum inside this perfect cunt.”

He grabs your waist harshly thrusts, shallowing and slowing down as his orgasm approaches.

“Fuck, Mhm, Jesus-So fucking good, Christ-”

He rambles as his orgasm takes over, and you feel his warm cum inside your pussy, filling up the condom. Your tight cunt milks him off all he has, and he continues to fuck you till he is completely empty.

He stills inside, his cock throbbing and making you close your legs shut, wanting to keep him inside for longer. He catches his breath, gasping for air as he tries to pull out slowly.

“No, don't- I wanna feel you inside for longer”

You manage to say it in one breath, hoping he won't take you to be desperate and needy, even though it is what you were mere minutes ago.

“As you wish, darling” he stills back, holding you and pulling you back up. You both scoot awkwardly, and fall down on the sofa, you on top of him.

You could feel his chest on your back, rising and felling with each breath. You carefully turn around, keeping your legs on either side of his waist, and you face him.

He looks so beautiful, his post-orgasm face making you feel so warm and giddy. You lean down, and sweetly kiss him on his pink lips.

There’s comfortable silence between you two, the post-orgasmic glow taking over and making you feel so good and droopy.

“That was-really really good. Like, the best I've had in a long time.” you blush while admitting that, and he holds you close, making you feel safe.

“Glad you liked it. It was incredible for me too”

You both smile fondly, feeling so much connected in that moment.

“You okay? Want something to eat? Water?”

“Yeah, but afterwards. Wanna hold you for a while.”

“Sure, baby. You can hold me for as long as you like.” you grip your arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go.

>>>

i hope you like this! please don't hate me

here's my ko-fi if you feel generous

requests and feedback is welcome and much appreciated!!

>>>

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[cookinguptales]

Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!

Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?

This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.

To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.

I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.

So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.

(Good fucking riddance.)

So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.

(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)

Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...

Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.

Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)

More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.

Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.

Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.

And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.

The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.

They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.

In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.

I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.

For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)

I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.

And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.

The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.

Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.

The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.

It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.

Y'all, it was a shit show.

Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.

And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃

(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)

We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.

Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.

I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.

One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.

All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.

Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.

I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.

(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)

I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.

I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.

Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao

But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.

[erose-this-name]

Kabru is such a brilliantly written character, one of the best in Dungeon Meshi (which is a high bar as it is, most of the main cast are similarly genius). 

His thing is that he is very friendly and nice confident and maxed out his charisma stat, but is also kinda ambitious and manipulative. But not in an overtly malicious way. Which kinda scares me.

The most impressive thing about him, writing wise, is that it’s all show-don’t-tell. He very frequently uses his charm and empathy and understanding of how people think in really clever ways. We’re often walked through his thought process of how he does these social deductions. We’re never told he’s scarily charismatic, besides other characters reacting to him being scarily charismatic.

Kabru is a natural-born leader and social engineer with superlative skills in both, which makes him the perfect foil for Laios, who’s too autistic and unambitious that he’s not even the de facto leader of his own party that he’s the official leader of. He’s so bad at leadership that his party just, sort of, doesn’t have a leader. They just kinda argue and do stuff.

What’s also neat, and perfectly inline with Meshi’s general theme of clever and logical subversions of fantasy tropes, is that Kabru’s character design in no way clues us in on this fundamental character trait of his.

He’s sort of a human fighter / knight archetype, which in the language of fantasy RPGs is a class most would associate with being a white bread jock, chivalrousness optional. (Laios subverts the same trope in the same way. It’s really funny that the walking exposition dump of the group looks like the character creator default preset spec’d as the most generic class available.)

If Kabru was a bard or noble and Laios a wizard, their character traits would be far less interesting

Even better is that we would expect someone who looks like Laios to have Kabru’s personality, and vice versa. Their character designs are flipped; the confident super charismatic leader is a short wide-eyed twink, while the slightly naive and very autistic monster enthusiast is a tall conventionally attractive Aryan lookin’ mf. (see what I mean by Kabru being such a good foil for Laios?? No wonder everyone ships them, they’re perfect for each other!)

Yet, their designs also work for them. Kabru just has a face that’s easy to talk to, his piercing blue eyes and curly hair gives him a false sense of naïveté, while his iconic 👁️👁️ expression hints that there’s actually quite a bit going on inside his head. Meanwhile, Laios believably looks like someone who doesn’t know what hair conditioner is. His armor’s collar gorget thing is also pretty dorky.

You can’t trust people like that (I mean overly charismatic people with a manipulative streak, not blue-eyed twinks) because you can’t know what their real motives are. You can’t know they aren’t pretending, you can’t know they aren’t trying to or haven’t already manipulated you. How could you? When he has so much more social intelligence than you do, average socially awkward Tumblr user? He’s touched all the grass!

In episode 16 (spoilers, btw) Kabru finally meets Laios’s party, who he’s been trying to find and fight for the better part of the season, and he just decides that no confrontation is necessary. Like, immediately upon meeting the guy. Just from how Laios looked at him. He figures that since Laios didn’t seem to recognize him, they either have never met meaning he has the wrong guy, or Laios forgot meaning he didn’t think it’d be a big deal, meaning the treasure was a trap or something. Which is pretty in line with Kabru’s established ability to always roll nat 20s for every charisma and deductive reasoning check, so cool.

But he doesn’t even seem curious about which of those cases is true. (He might be interested to find out some of the treasure wasn’t dangerous, but accidentally got thrown off a bridge). Much to Rin’s dismay, he’d rather just not bring it up because that could upset the leader of the party he might be working with for the foreseeable future.

Actions speak louder than words. So, all we really learn in this scene is that Kabru’s goals and M.O. can change on a dime, and that he values reputation and political capital more than money and vengeance. More than his own party’s desire for those things. Not only is he someone with a silver tongue, but he knows its value and is determined to use it at every opportunity.

Kabru and his party might not be very good at fighting or surviving in the dungeon, in fact their frequent TPKs are a running gag. But, he also doesn’t need to be when he can just manipulate Laios’ and Shuro’s much more proficient parties into helping him.

So far, Kabru seems like the most likely one to become king of the dungeon or whatever the mcguffin is. He is the only protagonist so far who has said that’s an actual goal of his. He’s said that he doesn’t think someone like Laios who isn’t a born leader should get it.

In fact, Kabru seems to have very strong opinions on what kinds of people should be allowed to adventure in the dungeon, evidenced by the fact that he murdered an entire party over it, justified or not. Kabru seems to think that Kabru is such a leader, and he’s probably right about that, but what kind of leader? 

What would Kabru do with that kind of power if he gets it? Because I’m not sure. All I know is that he is the kind of person with the ability to use real political power to its full potential. For good, or for very, very bad.

I’m not saying that Kabru is evil or that he’s secretly gonna be the surprise villain. I dunno, I haven’t read the manga. He could just be a nice guy that’s just, like, is like that. Everything he’s done could be justified by the explanations he’s given. He actually reminds me a lot of one of my IRL friends, and I’d trust him with my life.

But, I can’t help but feel a distinct sense of unease whenever he’s on-screen. I try not to trust confident natural-born leaders like him right out of the gate. I don’t like that our instinct as humans is to blindly follow them without thinking about it.

Tyrants and psychopaths also use confidence and charm and a friendly demeanor to make people think they’re a good guy, while manipulating everyone into thinking their self-serving actions are altruistic. Benevolent, confident, skilled leaders do exist. But there exists many more snakes wearing their skin. Wolves rarely bother with sheep’s clothing, they dress as shepherds and sheepdogs.

Anyway, my point is that I think it’s kinda neat that it’s possible to overthink this much about a character whose probably just a nice guy that is the mirror opposite of an autistic person. Writing that kind of ambiguity is hard, and employing it in this way is inspired.

[elsweetheart]

mean!ellie — back for more.

🎀 u guys wanted more mean!bff!ellie so here she is ! wrote this half asleep so pls. she’s pretty mean in this one, but she loves you really. it’s a follow up from this drabble i wrote. not many warnings, just ellie bein a meanie. masturbation, ellie threatens to kill u but in a lighthearted way i swr… she also gets a lil forceful toward the end but in a sexy way that the reader has no problems with <3

she didn’t even say hi, just turned up at your door and started calling the shots. she atleast had the decency to act a little bashful about it, hands swinging by her sides awkwardly on your doorstep, brow cutely scrunched up a little in frustration.

“wanna see it again.” she quietly ordered, not hiding her gaze when it dropped down to your attire — just a tank top and pyjama shorts. you weren’t expecting her today, and now here she was on your doorstep.

“see what, els?” you tilt your head a little, which seems to frustrate her a little. you really make things difficult when you’re this fucking cute — your best friend thought. she shuffled impatiently, nodding inside.

“canyoujust— let me in? s’cold as shit.” she rolls her eyes and you instantly step aside, the chill of her body bringing a icy breeze over you as she passes you, shaking the snow off her jacket. your nipples harden beneath your tank top at the cold and she’s looking once again.

she rips her eyes away to nod in gesture to your bedroom, heading up and just expecting you to follow. you do, obedient as ever.

standing in front of her now, she gazed at your bed. made and neat, your stuffed animals that usually made her scoff piled up at the pillows. “wanna… see you fuck the pillow again.” she shrugs like it’s nothing and you stare at her wide eyes.

“uh—” you falter, wide eyed, hating how quickly you felt arousal seeping into you at just the thought of getting off infront of her again. the memory of last time a ghost in your panties.

“just… show me.” she interrupts, an impatient bite to her voice. anything for els, you think as you nod — clambering on the bed with doe eyes, looking back at her for approval when you reach for a pillow. you go to straddle it when she speaks. “take those off.” she sways on her feet, still standing by the bed with her backpack, eyes glued to your ass straining against the material of your pyjamas.

“‘kay, els.” you nod, so submissive — as always. you feel heat rise to your cheeks but you push through it, eager to please her. rolling onto your back, you peel your panties off, giving ellie a view of your pretty pussy.

“fuck.” was all she said, and it was enough to encourage you on, feeling more wetness seep out despite only having entertained the idea of performing for ellie once more for a minute or so. you fold the pillow, taking a shaky breath in as you straddle it.

your hips twitch against it, and you’re hyper aware of her silent stare. was she judging? was she curious? did she just wanna push you to see how far you’d go again? in your head, you whimpered — trying to readjust yourself and shake your nerves.

“what?” she deadpanned, knowing you like the back of her hand. on the inside, she panicked a little — fearing she made you uncomfortable or scared. when you didn’t respond, the panic flared up worse. “what?” she repeat, eyes widening a little more as her arms came up by her sides.

“just… why do you wanna see?” you pout, insecurity written across your face.

“because it was fucking sexy, okay?” she rolled her eyes, hating that she was blowing her cover. she had really hauled ass through the snow to your house just because she wanted to see you, and hear your pretty moans again. she watched your expression soften, confidence built a little and she went back to her mean old self, waving a hand. “so get to it? didn’t come over here for nothing.” she stuffed her hands in her pockets, seemingly unfazed by the fact she was stood in the middle of your room watching you hump a pillow.

her meanness sparked arousal in your cunt and your breath hitched, brows furrowing as you softly moved your slit against the material, the fabric rolling up to your clit. as you got more and more lost in the pleasure, ellie began circling around you — wanting to see from different angles. you honestly thought she looked cute, a curious expression as she leant forward, licking her lips when your hips would stutter or you’d whine a little louder— but she wasn’t saying anything, not giving you anything to use as material apart from her presence.

“ellie.” you moan, still being soft as you can as you grind on the pillow shyly. your minuscule hip movements had somehow rendered you close to orgasm, you just needed something to tip you over the edge. “please talk t’me. need your voice.” you whimper, embarrassed tears behind your eyes.

“you need my voice?” she deadpans, falling into your trap.

“mhm, m—makes me… mmph.” you cut yourself off, deciding you still had the brain power to keep yourself from admitting something embarrassing.

“makes you what?” she crossed her arms, stepping closer to the bed.

“makes me horny.” you flush all over, clit throbbing at the soft brushes of the pillow. she chuckles, shaking her head almost disapprovingly.

“doesn’t take much does it?” she snarks. “you want me to tell you how pretty you look huh? you know you look fucking pretty, s’why i’m here. was dying to see you get off for fucks sake.” she rasps, and you whimper in response— thighs clenching. she was so composed, and you was losing your composure by the second, the contrast making you unbelievably close. you close your eyes, squeezing them shut like you’re concentrating hard on getting to your orgasm and she pities you just a bit, feeding you just a little more to help you along. “…you’re good too, aren’t you? always do what i say. i don’t think normal best friends do this shit. letting me watch you make that pretty little pussy talk.” she observed, the position you were humping in causing your cunt to part with each small roll of your hips, the wetness creating a sound that made her wanna strap you ‘til you cried. all in good time, she thought. had to break you first.

“glad i’m the only one who gets to see you like this. shit, i swear if you told me you did this for anyone else i’d kill them and then you.” she comment casually, but the lighthearted threat was what sent you over the edge. you suddenly fell forward, movements becoming stuttered and uneven as you suddenly got a whole lot louder, eyelashes dampening as you came— pussy catching the light with its new sheen. ellie watched in awe, going over what she just said in her mind and wondering why the hell that was what made you cum.

you collapsed forward a little more, eyes still closed as you pant — catching your breath after the orgasm that was still dying in your stomach and trailing out your cunt. her voice broke through the whirring white noise in your ears, grounding you. “thats what did it for you? me threatening to kill someone over you? or was it me threatening to kill you?” you don’t dare look at her, hearing the shit-eating smirk in her voice. “‘was wasn’t it… that’s sick baby.”

you feel your pussy twitch at the nickname, and as if she read your mind — she spoke again.

“again. c’mon, you can make more noise than that this time.”

“k—kay. just… just give me a second. m’sensitive n’i need to—” she cut your shaky excuse off when you heard her march up behind her with an irritated tsk, the dip of her weight in the mattress behind you before you felt her strong hands on either one of your ass cheeks. you gasped as you started aggressively rocking you on the pillow.

“like this. see. s’not hard, you’re just bein’ a big fuckin’ baby about it.” she pushed you harder, making you roll your pathetic, throbbing cunt into the firm rolled up pillow and you sobbed — the delicious pain morphing into pleasure.

“els— please!” you cried and her hands rose to your waist, continuing to help your movements.

“oh whatever, cry all you want i know you like this.” she muttered, focused on abusing your pretty pussy.

she wasn’t wrong.

[lolita-lollipop]

A green dress

MILES QUARITCH X READER

(Implied age gap, quaritch just being whipped, his team laughing at him for it)

The first time quaritch saw you, was at a banquet, held for hugh ranking military officials in their honor.

You were younger than most of the honored officials here, wearing a short little green dress, one that hugged your waist snugly, and little heels that did absolutely nothing other than exxentuate how much smaller you were than all the giant military men and women here. Not covered in tattoos, not almost 7 feet tall, not muscular like you worked out every day. It intrugued him, usually only the same type of people showed up to these events, people that were either required to go, or people that wanted to come to talk about themselves. You certainly werent at all like him.

You didnt seem like either of those people, you didnt necessarily look unhappy to be here, unlike those who were glued to their phones with a scowl, you were sitting with a pleasent smile, tucked in a corner of the room. But you also werent exactly social, it was obvious you knew nobody here, unlike those who were flaunting their medals and drinking like there was no tommorow, you just sat there in your little green dress and tiny heels, staring at the people around. On the occassion a man or a woman would try to get you to dance with them, but you would politely decline.

It confused him honestly, a pretty girl like you coming to an event like this, and not wanting to go home with someone. Even though quaritch was engaged in a conversation with his team, he couldnt peel his eyes off of you, couldnt stop trying to figure you out, figure out why you were. Figure out why he felt like he had to figure you out. It was so strange, he would try to come up and talk to you, puffing his chest out and standing up as tall as he could, but the second he would come even close, those eyes of yours, that dress, made him feel like a silly llittle schoolboy, and he would turn around.

How silly was that? Colonol miles quaritch, a man who had come back to earth for a few weeks for a series of parties in his honor , the guy who traveled space and invaded planets with a cold heart, the strongest fifty-something here was too shy to talk to a girl.

By the time he had finally mustered up the courage to go up to your table, your bag wasnt on the seat anymore, your chair was pushed in nice and neat, you had left before he even got the chance to say a word to you. The teasing from his team was endless. Lynel went as far as to call quaritch a little baby boy,

Lynel also happened to get punched in the face that night, by some coincidence.

----

The next time he saw you, you were wearing the same exact little green dress, and the same exact little black heels, this time you had your hair tied back though, but you were just as beautiful as last time. You still acted the same, sitting alone fiddling with the napkin at your table, watching and listening to the people around, refusing the occasional request to dance. Still catching the complete attention of the one and only Miles Quaritch.

Except this time, he wasnt going to chicken out. The second he saw you, he completely walked away from lynel and his squad, they all wolf whistled and hooted as he made his way along. Doing the same thing as last time, puffing out his chest and flexing, appearing as strong as he could. Miles quaritch was an attractive man, and he no doubt knew it, but still, the thought of you looking at him and seeing a weak old man, that made him feel sick. He wouldnt let you think that. You couldn’t.

He pulled out the chair next to you, settling himself down, leaning back and spreading his legs, towering over you even as he sat down. You payed no acknowledgement, seemingly lost in your own train of thought, your hands fiddled with the napkin, folding and pulling at the threads. Your eyes were fixed on one of the walls in the bright room, wide, staring. It was honestly adorable, you were completely zoned out, completely oblivious.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing at an event like this?” he spoke, placing his elbows on the table and setting a hand on top of the napkin, his words snapped you out of your trance. And you locked eyes with his, the colonels squad was hooting and screaming like madmen in the corner, he paid absolutely no attention to them. You stared at him for a moment, or more so stared up at him, pulling your hands away from the napkin, and unintentionally making his hand fall in your lap. Your dress was velvet, he hadnt realized.

“Hm?” you let out, staring at him with those eyes of yours. God you were so gorgeous, up close it was even better. And you looked even cuter with that confused look on your face, your voice was high pitched, laced with a little bit of that far away look you had just moments ago.

“I mean i would hate to assume, but you don't look like the type of crowd i would see here. Not many of us look like… you. “ he drawled in his southern accent, you tensed when he didnt make any move to take his hand out of your lap. Quaritch had to hold back the string of complements he wanted to give to you, not wanting to freak you out more, as you already looked like a deer in headlights.

“Oh- i-im not in the military. Im an intern- uh- in science. I’m just trying to get my masters right now- um. My boss wanted me to come in case he needed a ride home.” you spluttered, now understanding his question. Yes, quaritch scared you, being tall, wise, big, strong, heartless in a way that no man here was, obviously he was intimidating, especially since youd known how he felt about science. Safe to say colonel miles quaritch was not someone who went by the books. You, on the other hand, were the exact opposite. It wasnt your fault you could barely string out a sentence to the man, he was scary, even to some of the highest military officials. Let alone a little intern to a little company.

“A scientist huh? Whaddya study?” he finally retracted his hand, and you relaxed, only for him to give you a stare that pierced into the center of your heart, a gaze that confused you, made you feel strange. He let a smirk splay across his face, understanding what he was doing to you, all of his confidence came back to him when he saw the way you couldnt meet his gaze, instead looking down at your hands, and fiddling your thumbs.

“Oh- I work in software engineering- I help design technology that you guys use up there- like those masks.” You replied in a hushed tone, still staring down into your lap. He perked an eyebrow at you, still letting that smirk of his burn itself in your brain. The room around seemed to paying much more attention to the two of you than their own conversations, the only little scientist in the room having a conversation with miles quaritch.

“Well isnt that adorable? You must like it-” he continued in that teasing tone that very clearly made your cheeks heat up. You really couldnt tell if you wanted him to keep talking or if you wanted him to go away. It was decided for you though, when your boss, wearing a fitted black suit covered in medals and awards he won, placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed a little too hard for quaritches liking, you let out a squeak in suprise.

“Time to leave, im getting tired. Get up and take me home.” The short little man kept his hand on your shoulder, and stared at quaritch, who was scowling at him for interrupting him. Nobody did that, he was especially annoyed that it was when he was talking to you, in fact if it werent for you here he wouldve punched the guy in the face. The man paid no respect to you, ordering you around like a little servant, and you just let him, bless your heart, it made quaritch want to stab him more than hes ever wanted to stab anybody.

“Yes sir. Uhm- bye.” you finally met the giant mans eyes for a split second, a vulnerable, almost scared look laced throughout, it was obvious, the man with his hand on your shoulder scared you, and you couldnt do anything about it.

“Bye sweetheart, see ya next time” And with a threatening stare sent to your boss from quaritch, you picked up your little green handbag, and pushed in your chair, walking away at your bosses tail. Your little heels clicked against the floor, and quaritch watched as your green dress disappeared in the crowd of people.

Fuck.

---

The last time quaritch saw you on earth, you were still wearing that same little green dress he had grown to look out for, yet again at another party, the final one he would be attending before returning to pandora. Except this time, he showed up early, and he wasnt letting you slip away, not like the other times.

Immediately upon seeing you, fiddling with the napkin again, a habit that he’d figured you’d picked up out of boredom, he took no time in walking away from lyle, cutting their conversation short, and pulling up a chair again, like last time. But he had a plan now, and he knew it wouldnt fail, it couldn’t.

“Theres my favorite software engineer. I don't think I introduced myself last time, it's Quaritch, Colonel Miles Quaritch.”

“Oh. Yeah, I know.” you softly spoke, placing the napkin down this time and actually meeting his gaze, you were short, and curt. You werent like this last time he spoke to you, you didnt give him a pleasant smile, You werent open and sweet like last time. You looked more like a scared child than a scientist with a phd. You had this look in your eyes, basically telling him to go away, like you would get in trouble if he didnt.

“Oh? I must be pretty popular for a girl like you to know about me. Got a reputation right?” he teased, letting that predator-like smile of his spread across his face, the man stared down at you waiting for you to reply. You just sat there, curling in upon yourself, trying to sink into the seat and disappear. He didnt know what was wrong, but you clearly were almost scared of speaking to him, and he didnt like it, not one bit.

“Uhm- sir. I’m not supposed to talk to you, please go away.” you looked back into your hands, further bending your posture, which only made you look smaller than you were, at least compared to how he saw you. THe more he looked at you, the more he noticed, That little green dress of yours was starting to wear down, the emerald green fading to grey, the shoulders stretching out slightly. Your words brought a frown across his already- naturally angry face.

“And why not?” Those words alone had your breath hitching, a sense of mild stress humming at the back of your brain, you could feel your bossses eyes on you.

“I-i don't know. My boss just told me not to.” You sent a glance to the fat man standing in a tight fitting black suit, the man was standing there, staring right back, a threatening glare set in his features. So thats what it was. Quaritch was already a violent man, being the one leading expiditions against the natives of pandora. And he certainly didnt think he could further his violence, but oh boy did he want to now.

“Well then, i’ll make this quick. I want you to work for me, cupcake.” He spoke, louder than the rest of the room, intentionally of course, he wasnt intending on making a scene at first. But now he wanted your boss to hear, he wanted your boss to know that he was the man you were leaving him for.

“Uh- what?” you barely spluttered out, eyes locked on your boss, or soon to be old boss. The thought alone of working for such a man scared you, sure, you didnt like your boss, not one bit, but he wasnt all bad, he sometimes let you go home for lunch, or if he didnt want his moring coffee he would let you have it. You didnt know colonel miles quaritch, yes, you knew of him, and what you knew of him wasnt good, he was cruel, killed so many, broken so much equipment. Payed no reguard for the world around him.

But.. he also seemed so nice. He asked you about your work, complimented you and what you did, called you pretty. So much nicer than your own boss had ever been. Would it really be all that bad? You already worked in a government job, but you were more of an assistant than a scientist, if you actually went to pandora you would be able to see so much more, do so much more. You could gain a title, an actual place.

“You wouldnt be an assistant anymore- and we sure got more science up there than youll ever see down here. Ill treat ya real nice, don't worry. So whaddya say?” he spoke, the country drawl behind his voice coming out, one that made you nervous. He placed a hand on your shoulder, forcing you to look up at him, you stayed silent, doing nothing but staring at him with those wide eyes of yours.

“Cmon, Ill pay you triple whatever he is, and all travel and housing is free. Ill even buy you a new little dress. “ His hand squeezed gently, and you couldnt help but think that the rumors about this man werent all true, he seemed so soft, so gentle. Not yelling at you, paying respect to your work, treating you like a person, not an object. Although the things he made you feel were strange, and confusing, what could be the worst that could happen.

Well, for starters, this could be a trick and you could die up there, or be abused, or working as a scientist for the military on another planet wouldnt turn out exactly how you wanted it to. You knew you should say no, say that you wanted to stay down here on earth, where it's safe, where it's quiet, where youre just an assistant, you knew you shouldnt, you knew you should say no, you knew that this was a bad idea. You HAD to say no, you have to.

“O-okay, Ill have to turn in my two weeks though- so i cant go very soon- and I have a cat so that might-”

“Don't worry darlin, ill get it all sorted out for you, just oack up all your pretty little things and ill do the rest.”

---

Quaritches sqad had known what quaritch felt about you, since the first time hed seen you and his eyes didnt leave the little woman in the little green dress and little black heels, none of them wouldve ever assumed a soft girl like you, a scientist no less, to be his type. But still, there you were, shyly staring at the man. None of them had ever seen quaritch look like he did right now, look like he actually wanted something, like he had to work for it.

Oh my god he looked like a lost puppy.

They all cackled at the man, giggling like toddlers when he came back all red like a little schoolboy. The same man that yelled at them day and night folding for some little intern? Unheard of. They were beyond shocked when they saw you again, and yet again, their boss approached you, shock turned to laughter and more drinks soon, and by the end of the night, so many theories had been made on you.

Maybe you were the daughter of someone important

Maybe you were rich

Maybe quaritch liked younger women

Maybe you were just sweet

You certainly looked the type

No matter how hard they tried to find the exact reason quaritch liked a soft little thing like you, they couldn’t place it. It suprised them to no end when he told them how he was taking you out on a date the last day he was staying on earth. Him? Taking a girl out? Unheard of. What’s next, a pretty little picnic with butterflies and rainbows?

Nope.

Something even more shocking.

“Team, meet our newest addition, y/n. We’re gonna treat her real nice right? “ the man had a hand placed on your shoulder in a protective stance, daring any single one of them to say anything that would make you uncomfortable. The team connected eyes, holding back small snickers at how possessive the colonel was acting. He didn’t even seem to realize it either.

“Ehm- yes. Hi, I’m y/n” oh god- everything about you was just the exact opposite of quaritch, soft, timid, almost spacy. Lynel locked eyes with his boss for a few seconds, a mischievous smirk splayed across his face.

“Of course we will, after all that trouble little miles over here had to go through to get you- wouldn’t want to-“ he begun teasing, but was promptly met with a boot to the face. The team giggled at Lynel gargling under quaritch foot, but he payed no mind. Placing a hand around your waist and sending a glare back to the group, all who were smirking and smiling like he’d said something stupid, quaritch begun walking, you in tow.

“Now, let me show you your new room,

Cupcake”

———————————————————————

Please leave any comment at all on what you think, just seeing those comments makes me happy, and don’t think I don’t read each one individually.

The way I know quaritch is literally a mass murderer but I don’t even care- like I didn’t know I had these issues until I started having these issues.

Not requested, just noticed a lack of quaritch content that appealed to me ( aka not smut) and wanted to make it a reality. Stilll, thank you so much for reading!

Anyway, have a great day! Bye!