#and mentally checking out of this shitshow

[beloved-yeosang]

Unemployed (disabled) friend moving across country so we can spend more time with my partners mom and because she’s sort of healing my mommy issues… it’s like when you bring home a stray kitty and the kitty has many layers you have to peel back to earn its trust? Yeah I’m that stray cat they took in.. anyway unemployed (disabled) friend is moving across the country in 2 weeks time and my house is a shitshow… PS we don’t really live one 1 island.. we’re kinda split between 2 and have to pack up basically 9 years together in 2 tiny cars and move.. I don’t know why but I’m very mentally checked out right now.. I’m an immigrant in this country and I have been here for 10 years or so.. and having to move from the only place I knew for the last 10 years.. is fucking my brain very much

I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.

[afrenomes]

This is the post that i was referencing in the tags of the previous post. I’m sorry but this is an incredibly dangerous take to have. The core principle of our democracy is the peaceful transition of power, and attempting to stop that even for someone who’s going to do as much harm as Trump is, would have UNPRECEDENTED consequences reciprocated back on us. Like, I can’t even begin to explain how horrific it would be for everyone, much worse than it is now, if this type of belief wins on the political left.

[black-rose-writings]

It's pretty clear that under Sasha's rule, the King didn't allow the Grisha to have firearms. The only Grisha using a gun in the books so far has been Genya, and even that was only after the coup.

I'm sure part of the reasoning is "well, they have magic, why would they use guns." but the other half was definitelly "we don't trust them enough to give them guns".

Funnily enough, the relative ease with which Grisha were given guns and relevant training after Alina's takeover points to the Darkling being the problem here, sort off.

Guns would only become prominent within the lifetime of "this" Darkling, which on its own would make it less likely he'd be given them - he's probably witnessed several kings and has enough experience, influence and connections to be considered a threat. Or the monarchy just didn't trust the Darklings in general, because they never showed up until it was their time to take power and they clearly got a decent education before that (as far as they knew), so the monarchy couldn't really influence them or mold them the way they wanted. Alina, being sheltered, dumb and with brain filled with pro-monarchy propaganda and being raised as non-Grisha, on the other hand, could be trusted to not turn those guns against the king immediately, probably more-so than half of the First Army at this point.

Alina being an idiot and Alina being trusted by the monarchy enough to get some of these things done aren't contradictory. Alina is able to get away with more because she's obviously brainwashed enough to not be a threat. And so are the remaining Grisha - the Grisha who would be a potential threat are all either dead or sided with the Darkling, so yes, the remaining - young, inexperienced, sheltered - Grisha are trusted more than their more skilled and experienced predecessors. It allowed the monarchy to rebuild the Second Army in their image, rather than Aleksander's.

Aleksander wanted the Second Army to be first and foremost a safe place for the Grisha to be themselves, use their powers and live their own lives as best as they could, and serving the Kings was the price that needed to be paid. It was first and foremost a haven that Aleksander had dreamed of since he was thirteen. A haven where Living amplifiers were valued as people, not as trophies, and where Grisha children wouldn't need to be desperate enough to try and kill their friends for power.

The new Second Army is just an army. It's modeled after the needs and wishes of the monarchy, not the Grisha in it. The service isn't the price for their safety and education, it's the main point, and both the safety and education go to hell as a result, because they're now just means to an end.

The dynamic has reversed masivelly in the monarchy's favor. They got a new generation of their slave soldiers who are more obedient, easier to influence, who don't understand that they are slaves and see service to the King as their duty and any education or comforts they recieve as a bonus, a privilige over other soldiers that they should reject, not their due payment, who will not ask for more rights because they've been made to believe that fight is monstrous and evil, who will forever have burned in their minds the destruction that came upon them the last time their kind wanted more and fully believe it was the side that wanted more that was at fault for it all.

Siege and Storm- Chapter 17 (Leigh Bardugo)

The units of Grisha and soldiers who had been assembled to hunt down the Darkling... Given the history, this is more horrifying than anything. Of course those nice, friendly otkazat'sya like to bond with Grisha... over plans for a massacre of their widely hated ex-leader.

The irony of the man, who's goal since he was thirteen has been to put an end to his people being hunted to the point, when their desperation turns them against each other, becoming the bridge between his and normies by being turned into prey once again...

What about Grisha following the Darkling? I'm certain they wouldn't be slaughtered alongside him...

But we're free to ignore those, since the focus is on nichevo'ya, right?

I’d brought in armaments experts from Poliznaya... I'm curious if those "experts" and other First Army soldiers are hand-picked with regards of their stance towards Grisha... like oprichniki used to be. Or are we still ignoring First Army's crimes against Grisha?

... to help familiarize the Grisha with modern weaponry and give them training in firearms. Again, it would seem Grisha don't get the newest weaponry.

[eatmyheartoutjpg]

Part 1.

MEDIC ;; You have healing powers and get recruited by the GDA. It changes your life, for the better or for the worse. Crack, short fic.

04.03.25 Masterlist

You’d call yourself a normal person—well, as normal as someone can be when they wake up with the ability to heal people. Blessed? Maybe. Cursed? Probably. Your powers are pretty straightforward: you can patch up yourself or someone else, depending on how wrecked they are and how much energy you’ve got left in the tank. Which usually comes down to how well you slept the night before. Real thrilling stuff. Straight out of a budget comic book.

You don’t show off. Never had the urge to. You’re not the selfless type who goes around healing strangers on the street out of some burning sense of justice. You’re not a saint. You're just a person who happens to have something useful and very little motivation to use it unless there's a reason.

Unfortunately, one day, you got soft.

Some guy in a half-torn grey suit was pulling civilians out of rubble after some villain decided to make the downtown district a crater. He looked government—probably fed. And you, in a rare act of generosity (and partially hoping there was a tax break involved), healed him. Just a quick fix-up, no big deal. He looked like he’d been through hell, but he still managed to check on you. Like he was worried you were the one bleeding out.

So you returned the favor. No words, no thanks needed.

Before he could get your name—or ask how the hell you just did that—someone screamed for help and he was off again like his shoes were on fire. But not before giving you one last look. Memorizing your face. You saw it in his eyes. He locked you in his mental files.

You hoped that might help you someday. Court, taxes, jury duty—who knows. Probably wouldn’t. But you like to dream.

And yeah. That act of goodwill? Came back to bite you.

Turns out the guy you saved was named Donald. Big-time GDA agent. As in Government. As in Cecil’s inner circle. And the moment he was back on his feet, he reported you. They tracked you down like you were some kind of loose end—well, politely. The kind of politeness that comes with a folder, a contract, and a clipboard full of benefits.

You said no at first. Obviously.

Then they said dental. And threw in hazard pay.

So yeah. You signed your fate.

Not because you believed in the cause. Not because you wanted to help humanity. You signed up for a paycheck and stable benefits in a world where buildings get leveled weekly and your rent doesn’t come with insurance.

And honestly? You don’t regret it. Not really.

Being with the GDA threw you into situations that could only be described as straight-up horror shitshows. You’ve seen things. Touched things. Reassembled people who should’ve been dead five different ways. Superheroes, the ones people worship, bleeding out on stretchers while you try not to throw up or pass out.

You got used to it fast. Maybe too fast.

Your name started floating around, being whispered throughout the headquarters and mentioned in passing. You cringe every time people give you some type of nickname, get this one, “Miracle Medic”. Yeah, wrap it up.

You kept your distance from the supers. Professional. Cold. You were the healer, not their friend, not their emotional support. You patched them up, maybe muttered a sarcastic remark if you were tired enough to forget the filter.

“Damn. I would've retired after that one.” It helped you stay sane. A little.

And you don’t do the whole corporate professionalism thing. You keep things functional—you’re not out here making friends, but you’re also not about to censor yourself for the sake of workplace etiquette. You know you’re irreplaceable, and that kind of job security comes with privileges.

Like being as blunt and disrespectful as you damn well please.

“The fuck happened to you? Yikes. I don’t even want to touch that.”

You do touch it, obviously. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it.

Unfortunately, this job throws you into more bullshit than you thought humanly possible. It’s not just GDA calls anymore—you’ve got superheroes pounding on your door at ungodly hours, begging for help. Sometimes for themselves. Sometimes for a friend, a coworker, or some half-dead civilian they barely managed to scrape off the pavement.

It got so bad that Cecil had to step in. Too many capes showing up at your apartment was bound to get somebody killed. So, congratulations. You now have dedicated break rooms in the Pentagon, all for you. You practically live in them with how much the GDA needs you. And it was not out of kindness—Cecil just didn’t want to deal with the nightmare of if someone tracked a superhero back to your place and blew it to hell.

Well, life could be worse. Yes, it does get worse.

A/N ;; I intend to extend this to have multiple parts and include actual interactions and more writing, but only if its well received. I'm lacking motivation to write, sorry!

[fatliberation]

Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

[fuck-customers]

I feel like I started a domino effect at work and it's great :>

There's a couple coworkers who are just unbelievably awful to work with. They're either messy, lazy, thick as two hundred bricks or just a combination of all the above. Myself and multiple other staff have told the boss we don't want them on busy nights because it just becomes us having to do 4 people's jobs; and they're never closing so they get to do nothing and walk out scott free. Every time I have them on my closes I end up walking out of work aching, mentally exhausted and feeling like I wanna down an entire bottle of tequila.

Anyway, there's a big event coming up next week during one of my closes. I check the roster to see who I'm on with and what do I see: not 1, not 2, but all 3 of the coworkers I hate being with rostered on. The only other person who's on with us is decent, but even then it'd just be me and her picking up everyone's slack. I'm furious, cause I've specifically said not to put them on individually on busy nights and I get all 3? Guess I'll be feeling a bit under the weather that day.

Like I said, the other person who's supposed to be on is decent and I do like her, so I decided to give her a heads up that I wasn't planning on showing up and why. Immediately she's like, 'So I'd be alone with those idiots? Fuck that, I'm calling in too.' Okay pop off, can't wait for the chaos to ensue. The absolute cherry on top, the person who's supposed to be the midshift that day overhears us and she goes 'wait you guys are calling out, so I'm gonna be stuck with THOSE 3? Fuck no, I'm not coming in either'.

So now that's 3 good staff down with only the lazy ones left over and I literally CANNOT WAIT. Our boss was being a huge dick (as per usual) to all 3 of us just before we coordinated our group call out too which makes it even sweeter. Kicking my feet giggling waiting for the shitshow to go down :3

Please tell us the aftermath.

-Rodney

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐗: 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟏𝐤

↬ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐢𝟎𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝟎𝐝, 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐛𝐯𝐬𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚

"Jongie?"

The sound of his best friend's voice pulls the young business man right out of his chaotic thoughts and with worry and anxiety gleaming in his usually so stern and cold eyes, he turns his head to meet Sunghoon's gaze.

"What's going on? Why did you just pick up Kim Jiwoong's phone call?"

"We gotta get to the headquarters as fast as possible", Jay replies and balls his hands into tight fists as the feeling of being useless suddenly overwhelms him, "Y/N's brothers are on their way to her and I'm pretty sure they're gonna pull a shitshow in front of the whole office just to humiliate her."

Jake's head quickly turns to look at his boss and best friend with confused eyes, right as Heeseung's gaze meets Hoon's concern filled one, yet none of them dare to say a single word.

"Come on, Seungie", Jongseong suddenly presses through gritted teeth, "drive a little faster, will you? I have no idea what they're going to do once they get to her nor do I have a fucking clue how she might react to their presence and their words, so please. Drive. Faster."

"Yes, Jong", is the only thing Seung days right before silence follows his response up until the four business man make it to the front of TPC's headquarters.

Jay doesn't know where your brothers are. He's lost their location weeks ago, when he found out that the men he had hired were actually working for Jiwoong. After the realisation had hit him like a ton of bricks, it was too late to actually find them again and not even his biggest rival could give him any information about their whereabouts.

His lack of knowledge and the worry about your actual safety has been driving him into insanity for the past twenty minutes and if it wasn't for the fact that he needs to stay strong and composed for you, Jay would have lost his shit by now already.

But he simply has no choice but to keep it down. For now.

He knows the upcoming days won't be easy for you, mentally and physically, which is exactly why he can't just give into the urge to go on a massive searching spree in hopes of finding those bastards and finally giving them what they deserve.

His time for your revenge will come, all he has to do is remain just a little bit more patient.

By the time Jongseong stares at his own reflection in the mirror of the elevator, he can feel his heart brutally smashing against his rib cage to the point where he feels like his lungs are about to hyperventilate.

He can feel his boys' eyes boring in his sides, but he doesn't scold them. Matter of fact, Jay doesn't say a single word, simply because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by unloading his pent up anger and frustration about your brothers on the wrong people.

You're safe and protected.

Dokyeom as well as Mingyu are by your side and there's no way your brothers can just enter the main building without the security guards checking their IDs.

You're safe and protected.

Jay knows where you are and who you're with, he knows those two girls are your safe place. On top of that you're literally on the tenth floor with a dozen other employees having their lunch. Your brothers aren't that brave nor are they stupid enough to pull up at this time of the day.

You're safe and protected.

Yet no matter how many times he tells himself just that, Jongseong can't help but feel his chest tightening at the thought of your fear and panic filled eyes; the ones he's been trying so hard to heal and keep safe, the ones which are usually so soft and gentle.

"She's safe."

Jaeyun's words are the first thing his brain recognises in the past twenty minutes and with a thin veil of tears blurring his vision, Jongseong just throws his arms around his best friends shoulders and lets out a loud sigh of frustration.

"It's okay, brother", Jake sighs and tightens his hold around the young man, knowing he's usually not one to be so openly vulnerable and for some reason all three of his best friends find comfort in the intimacy of the moment.

"When will this be over?"

The words leave his lips before his brain can overthink them, something he never even dared to mumble to himself as he was too afraid of being too weak, too insecure and unable to protect you the way he promised you to.

It's not even because he's tired.

Jay would burn the world for your happiness and safety, went against his father and every single thought he had been implanted with throughout the years just for you.

Yet it's the thought of his power and everything he's done and tried not being enough. He just wants you to be happy and safe forever. So what if all of this is ruined, simply because he made one little mistake of foregoing a proper background check, resulting in your brothers walking around freely instead of being taken care of the way he's promised you to.

It's not that he's tired.

Jongseong is simply scared of disappointing you and failing to keep his promise.

"Soon", Hoon sighs and balls his hands to fists at the sight of his usually so strong and confident friend being so desperate and lost, "I'm going to make sure those fuckers never, ever see the outside of a cell again and I promise you that."

Jongseong tries his best to regain his composure, mostly because he feels like a child for breaking down in his best friend's arms, but also because he doesn't want to worry you even more than necessary.

He knows his brain is purposely painting the worst case scenarios, yet for the first time in what feels like forever, he simply can't find the strength to fight against it.

By the time the elevator doors open again, Jay has managed to calm down and impatiently makes his way down the hallway to Jimin's office, knowing the moment he holds you in his arms again, everything will be okay, even if it's just for a short moment.

You, on the other hand, try your best to listen to your friends as they try to distract you with silly little stories, despite the fact that you can read them like open books and are more than aware just how tense they both are.

For some reason, however, you can't help but feel sad and disappointed.

Sad and disappointed because your brothers have never loved or accepted you.

Sad and disappointed because your mother's ability to get into her sons heads has lead to your life being ruined and your soul left in stains of decade long abuse and hatred.

Sad and disappointed because your brothers never deemed you worthy enough to live a normal, average life.

Sad and mostly disappointed because you know your boyfriend might eventually grow tired of dealing with this constang back and forth, and you can't even blame him.

You're tired, mentally and physically exhausted.

All you want for this is to finally be over.

You never wanted much. But apparently you weren't worthy of anything you've ever wanted.

"Baby?"

The sound of Jay's voice is the one to finally pull you back into reality and without giving it another thought, you throw away all the worries about people possibly seeing you two together and throw yourself into the comforting embrace of his arms.

With a soft sigh, you bury your face in the crook of his neck, his arms tightening around your waist as he inhales your scent and finally allows himself to calm down, now that you're in his arms. Safe and sound.

"What's happening, Jongie?"

Your question is filled with concern snd anxiety, panic wavering in your voice as you pull away with his face in your delicate hands and the fact Jongseong doesn't hesitate to take yours into his own right before he starts placing gentle kisses into your palms.

"We don't know where your brothers are and Jiwoong said he's sure they're close", Jay breathes and holds you close to his body, too aftaid to let go of you.

"Let's get you two to Seung's place, hm? They surely don't know where he lives and we'll make sure nobody follows us", Jake suggets calmly, his usually so energetic eyes gleaming with concern.

Jay doesn't say anything, just sighs before he shoots your two bodyguards a nod and then intertwines your fingers with his.

"We gotta get you somewhere safe, Baby", he whispers against your lips, his forehead pressed against yours as he tries to remain calm and collected, "I don't wanna make this a bigger deal than it is but I just – I don't – I don't know what else to do."

It's that little stumble over the words, which make you realise just how much Jongseong is panicking and without even missing a beat, you start caressing his cheek with the back of your hand and wait for him to meet your gaze.

"Everything's going to be okay, my love", you whisper and smile at him, "we'll figure it out together just how we always do, yeah?"

"Yes, Baby", he replies softly, his voice hoarse and drenched in exhaustion, "you're right. We've got this. Let's go."

And with those words you find yourself taking the elevator down to the lobby of TPC's main building, Jongseong's strong arm thrown over your shoulder to keep you as close to his body as physically possible and all of a sudden the only think you can think of is finally falling asleep in his arms.

Dokyeom and Mingyu are the first one to step out of the elevator to make sure everything is safe before the boys suddenly form a triangle around the two of you, making you feel even safer than you already did and with a soft smile you look up at Jake.

"Anything for TPC's official first lady", he jokes and shoots you a wink, easily calming your racing mind with a few words and you find yourself incredibly grateful about their presence. Not just in this particular moment but your and especially Jongseong's life. They really are the greatest set of best friends and you're so happy to know your love has such amazing people so close to him.

"There she is, everybody!"

Maybe it's the fact you didn't really expect to hear that voice ever again or maybe it's the high volume of his tone, maybe even his choice of words, yet regardlessly, nothing could have prepared you for the sight of your two older brothers standing right in front of you like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Ming–", "Now now, Mr. Park", the older one says and cocks his head to the side, his shaved head and the tattoos covering the entirety of his neck shocking you, since you don't remember that combination to look as scary as it does right now.

Mingyu and Dokyeom are quick to interfere, doing what needs to be done and almost tackling both of your brothers enough to stop them from moving.

All you can do, however, is stare at them in utter shock.

You can't believe how much they've changed in the three years you hadn't seen them, as the younger one had followed the example of his older brothers and actuakly shaving his hair off and covering himself in dark ink. Your eyes anxiously roam their faces and all of a sudden you're hit with flashbacks from some of the worst nights in your childhood.

"Bring her to the car and take her to your place, Heeseung", Jay orders and tries to let go of your hand, yet fails since you've tightened your grip on him like your life depends on it.

"Come on, Y/N", Sunghoon's gentle voice echoes in your head but doesn't quite reach you.

It feels like the whole world has come to a halt in your body's desperate attempts to stay conscious. Your brain flooded with mental images of all the times they had made you beg for their mercy, for them to just please stop hurting you.

The fact their eyes are still filled with the same hatred and wrath doesn't help with the intensity of your reaction and before you can even mutter a single word, the oldest shoots you one of his evil smiles, knowing exactly what his presence has done to you.

"What a family reunione, huh, little one?" He spits and tries a little to move out of Mingyu's strong hold around his arms, only to fail miserably.

"Get them the fuck out of here, Dokyeom", Jay orders through gritted teeth, barely holding himself back at the sight of the men who have made your life living hell.

If it wasn't for you, Jongseong would have had them beat up right then and there. But he knows better than to traumatize you even further by ordering his men to do exactly what everyone involved has been dying to.

"Hold the fuck up, Big Boss", the younger one finally speaks up, somehow manages to pull you out of your frozen state and with tears burning in your eyes and the knot in your throat fgrowing in its size by the minute, you dare to look at the one man you've always found some kind of hope in.

At the end of the day he barely ever physically hurt you the way the other two did and despite opting to use his words to break you, he also just so happened to be the one to take care of your wounds whenever everyone went to sleep.

You still remember your last day at home, where you had begged him to move to Seoul with you in hopes of giving him the opportunity to escape the fate of your other two brothers, only to realise that his loyalty to them would always overshadow everything else.

"Dokyeom. Now."

"Have you told him about what you've done to ruin our lives or do we get the honor to do it?"

Your brother doesn't care about the man in his back, who could easily snap his neck without much force, spitting those words like they're venom on his tongue and with wide eyes you let go of Jongseong's arm once your brain manages to process his threat.

"No", you whisper and shake your head in disbelief, "please, don't. Not here. Not in front of everyone."

"Don't talk to him, Baby", Jay is quick to intervene in your first interaction with your brother in three years, knowing oh too well that there's no way for this to end in a good way, "just go to the car with Seung and Hoonie. Please, angel."

"Angel? You call that bitch an angel?"

For those words Mingyu pulls your older brother's arms a little further into his chest, eliciting a painful groan from the man you've always hoped to never face again.

"Dok–"

"Your precious angel is the bastard daughter of a fucking felon and the reason why our father almost became a killer ten years ago", the younger one yells instead and it's then that a wave of shame and embarrassment drown you in their pain.

"What?"

Jay physically can't hold himself back from asking as confusion overwhelms him and for a moment his brain actually considers listening to your abusers instead of doing what's need to be done.

"You all heard what I said", your brother yells loud enough for everyone around you, knowing exactly what to do and say to humiliate you with as many eyes on you as possible.

"TPC's new first lady is a fucking bastard and the daughter of a convicted criminal. She's a shame to our family and a fucking loser. She always has been and will be, no matter how many CEOs she fucks. Y/N is a worthless wh–"

You've told Jongseong a fair amount of stories about your brothers and what they had done to you, yet none of them could have prepared him for the actual reality of their evilness.

Jay still remembers the way you had broken down the first time he had decided to stay over at your place after the business trip and you had opened up about the abuse and everything they had put you through. From merciless beatings to constant verbal and mental harassment to the point where you spent the nights in the library of your university in hopes of escaping them for just a little longer.

And maybe it's the memory of your heavy sobs and painful cries or maybe because he's never, ever wanted to physically hurt someone as much as your brothers, but as those words echo in his head, Jongseong has finally had enough.

Before anyone can even think about interfering, your boyfriend has already made his way to your older brother and skillfully lands a hard punch right in his face.

"Jay!"

Your voice is more of a gasp once you realise what the fuck had just happened but to your even bigger surprise, your boyfriend doesn't seem to be satisfied as he throws his fists into your brothers face with such vigor, you're left speechless.

You watch his eyes roll into the back of his head as his body goes limp and you realise that Jongseong actually knocked him out without flinching of pain at all.

"Let me fucking go–", your younger brother yells and tries to fight against Dokyeom's strong grip as soon as he watchesthe older one fall face first onto the floor, "you can beat us up as much as you want but it won't change the fact that your little trophy whore of a wife is a fucking homewrecker!"

Jay lets his gaze shift to the face the voice belongs to, a thick red veil of anger and wrath covering his consciousness as he lifts his fist to give your brother a piece of his actual mind, not giving a single fuck about who might be watching.

"Don't ever", Jay grunts as he lands punch after punch in the younger one's face until blood starts pouring from his nose, splattering all over your boyfriend's white dress shirt, "talk about her again or I'll fucking kill you. Did you hear me?"

Yet again, the whole world seems to stop as tense silence follows the young CEO's violent outburst.

It's so quiet, you can hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears as adrenaline rushes through your veins and you don't even dare looking around you.

"Pathetic pieces of shit", Jongseong spits and lets go of your brother's collar before he lifts his head and looks straight into the lense of a camera, the realisation resulting in his brain to shut down completely.

But this time the boys are faster than Jongseong, as one of them stays by your side, while the orher two stop their best friend from attacking the journalist.

"Is that shit recording? Yeah? Then listen up because I have something to say for all the gossip media outlets out there who will try to make me the bad guy in this", Jongseong suddenly yells, his voice the loudest you've ever heard him and before you can even react, Jake pushes you to stand behind his back, hiding you from the noisy camera to protect you.

Never in his life has Jongseong talked to the press like that. For God's sake, he's barely ever attended press conferences because there's nothing as useless and stupid to him as the media, yet this time he won't give them the chance to twist and turn the story to their liking.

"Those two men are abusers, actual criminals. I'd be dammed if I ever let them talk about my future wife like that. So, yeah. I beat them up in public and I don't regret it. They deserved this and I'm going to do everything in my power to have them rot in prison for the rest of their pathetic lives. Go ahead, air this. I want the entirety of Seoul to know that I don't care about her past and whose daughter she is. At the end of the day she's the love of my life", Jongseong breathes heavily, not stuttering once as he defends you in front of the whole city like he's just been waiting for this particular moment all this time.

"In fact", he suddenly says right after he had decided to let go, "she's my only love. She's my pride, my happiness, my future and I'd give up everything I have, am and own just for her. That's all I have to say, now get the fuck off of my property or I'll have the police arrest you, too."

And once Jongseong finishes his speech, all he does is turn around to give his best friend a nod of approval and before you can even realise what's happening, Jake has already guided you out of the side entrance to one of Jongseong's car.

To your surprise, you don't immediately take off, but are rather sent to the safest space possible to wait.

It doesn't take the police long to arrive and finally arrest your brutally beat up brothers; the sight of them being pushed into the police cars with their hands cuffed to their backs and blood covered faces giving you a weird sense of satisfaction.

You attentively watch the huge mob of journalists and paparazzis growing bigger and bigger by the minute, all of them patiently waiting for your boyfriend to leave the main building as well, only for Sunghoon to step outside and actually talk to them.

But you don't get the opportunity to even guess what he's telling them as the car door swings open snd you're met with the sight of the love of your life.

The only man who has ever kept his promise.

For a moment, Jay hesitates to slide onto the backseat next to you, worried – scared even – of your possible reaction since you've never seen this side of him; the one he's tried to keep locked away for so long.

He never had the freedom of expressing himself, his thoughts and feelings, so usually violence and anger was the way he chose to cope woth it all, especially at a young age.

Once he had started going to therapy, things have definitely gotten easier and although he knows this was an absolute exception, Jay can't help but worry.

What if seeing him this violent, this brutally merciless, this angry becomes the reason for your fears and bad memories resurfacing, adding just more pain to your fresh wounds.

To his positive surprise, you turn your whole body to face him, tears and mascara staining cheeks and your swollen bottom lip firmly tugged between your teeth.

"Thank you", you whisper and subconsciously reach for his hand on the back of the passenger seat, "thank you so much, Jongseong."

It's words which fill his chest with the sweet feeling of relief and without missing another beat, he moves into the seat next to yours and pulls you onto his lap.

"They won't ever hurt you again, Baby", he whispers against your lips and caresses your cheeks, you both ignoring the heavy smell of blood as well as the stains on his shirt, "nobody is going to hurt my girl ever again. You're safe now, my love. Now and forever."

"I love you so, so much, Park Jongseong."

There's nothing else you could have said which could have possibly describe the warmth spreading in your chest when the realisation of his words has finally hit you.

No more fear. No more panic. No more looking over your shoulder. They're finally where they belong and you know Jongseong won't ever let them get close to you again.

"My sweetest angel", he sighs and places the softest kiss on your lips, "the love of my life. My everything."

Maybe you never actually wanted too much. Because as you find yourself slowly falling into the most peaceful sleep you've ever had, you know the waiting and patience has finally paid off. All those nights you had prayed and hoped to find someone who loves, appreciates, protects and cares for you have finally become reality and no matter how surreal it all feels, with each of Jongseong's movements in your bavk, you know it's not. This is now your life, the one you've waited for for so long.

You're finally home.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: And here's what we've all been impatiently waiting for 🫣 i know the chaps kinda ends abruptly BUT to me it felt like the perfect ending bc smut wouldn't have been appropriate (though we all know they had a sweet cuddlefuck which lead to cockwarming) because of the heaviness in the chap and if you cant tell i prefer this length in written chapters to keep it exciting 🫣 regardless i hope you guys enjoyed it and can't wait to read y'all's thoughts! this marks rhe end of the angst wave and we're now officially counting down to the finale. thank you so much for everything babies, i love and appreciate you all so, so much. feedback's always appreciated!!!💞🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jongszn @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

[para-confessional]

♡ WELCOME TO THE SHITSHOW ♡

Submit your sins to us. Because why not!™

DNI:

pro-c for the big 3 (pedo, necro, & zoo)

harmful/appropriative transIDs like transrace, transvictim/transsurvivor, trans(mental/physical illness), etc.

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queerphobic, exclusionary of non-binary and asexual beings, TERF, SWERF, truscum/transmedicalist

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Run by: @just-phantom-things !

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[spacerockfloater]

Yet another example of Team Black ass lickers playing victim

I’d really appreciate it if y’all could take some time out of your day and check this blogger out for this particular post they made about me.

I already replied but I felt the need to make a post of my own because they are out of their fucking mind!

This cockroach came into my post and called me a sick fuck for saying that Aemond taking revenge on Lucerys is not equal to Daemon ordering the execution of an infant in its crib, the latter being obviously way more unethical, and they absolutely lost their shit when I paid them back with the same coin. Like, the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Hey skank @mikasaerens , is this you?

Not only does your psychotic self come into my post and instead of sharing your opinion in a polite and civil manner, you choose to verbally assault me by calling me a “sick fuck who needs to be put into an asylum and a watchlist” over my opinion on a fictional character, but your lying ass has the audacity to paint me as the villain when I come swinging at you for being an offensive little twat? And claiming that you are the victim for sharing your opinion about said character?

Who the fuck are you trying to fool? Look at the rest of your replies, lunatic:

Own the shit you say. This all happened because of the language you used against me unprovoked, not because you shared an opinion! This all starts with you. You absolutely deserve every fucking thing I said about you. Crying “wolf” when you initiated this shitshow by having no manners is batshit insane behaviour. But I shouldn’t be surprised though, you are a Lucerys apologist after all. Sickening!

Try reaching out to public mental health facilities if you can because starting a fight and then thinking you and your friends are gonna make me feel bad for defending myself must be a whole new level of mass hysteria. I walk the talk, dickhead. Can’t say the same about you.

Tell your meatriders that have blocked me because they don’t have the balls to say whatever they want face to face I said hi! I’m always keeping it real. I’ll say whatever the fuck I want with my full chest. And it’s always somehow you lowlifes jumping into my posts, sending anon hate and being vile as shit, because never once in my life have I bothered to reply to you losers’ opinions or reach out to you! Seek help!

It’s such a fucking shame because I know plenty of Team Black fans that don’t act in the disgusting way you do, insect.

[ineffably-queer-book-lover]

Hanging in there.

Hello my beloved moots, I am sorry for being AWOL for longer than I anticipated. Real life has been a shitshow of epic proportions and I've been sick on and off myself to the point that I've just felt too overwhelmed to deal with more than surviving and helping others to do so to the best of my abilities.

Not going into detail about most of it, because it also concerns other people whose privacy I won't violate, but let me just address one point: I am so fucking sick of losing loved ones to memory loss. Seriously, death would be kinder in some cases than losing everything that makes you who you are (or were). And my heart goes out to everyone who is losing a beloved one who is just not there anymore. It's incredibly hard to have a beloved one right there, alive and breathing, but they might as well be dead in every way that matters.

It's happening to three people in my life right now: dementia, a brain tumor, and fucking seizures causing severe brain damage... three different reasons, but all with the same devastating consequences for the patients.

Had one of my closest friends 'cancel' our friendship of many many years, because they apparently don't remember what we've had and their meds have changed their personality drastically. To say I am heartbroken and worried sick about them is an understatement. Another friend was placed into a nursing home (actually a hospice). She still has lucid moments occasionally, but they get rarer and rarer. Her doctors advise against visiting, because it's too upsetting for her. We should prepare "for the worst" in the near future. Not going to talk about the third and most beloved person in my life. I don't think I have the strength or even the words for that.

So, yes, memory loss is a very real and devastating topic to me at the moment and I'll set up a filter for that, because even seeing non-spoilery speculation about it potentially being a thing in Good Omens 3 is hitting too close to home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anyway, I'll keep fighting, no matter how hard it is to deal with everything on top of my own health issues. I am on leave this week (translation: wasting precious leave days for four obligatory bi-annual check-ups with various specialists). Such fun!

So yeah, I'll be around (hopefully), but probably not as active as I'd like to be, because I just don't have the mental capability to go through hundreds of posts and reblogging everything I'd like to reblog. Please be patient with me.

I've worked a bit on my custom Good Omens Lego minifigures as my own special brand of mental health therapy for the last couple of days, so hopefully I'll get to share some pictures with you soon!

I hope you are doing better than me! If there's anything you think I should definitely know about, please let me know or tag me, because I won't be able to go through all the stuff I've missed in almost two weeks. Argh, I didn't even realize it's been this long. Oops.

🫂🫂🫂

[p-redux]

So, apparently there's a shitshow brewing because allegedly Sam's latest date, Alice Panikian DMed with a couple of fans. Before I continue, here's a refresher of my previous post, showing Sam Heughan and Alice Panikian attending the Giorgio Armani Tennis Classic in London this weekend. 👇

Well, I'd heard in a few DMs that allegedly some DMs were circulating showing that some fans DMed Alice Panikian even before she was seen with Sam. I guess they noticed Sam was following her. The fans proceeded to DM Alice to ask questions about Sam and she allegedly replied. I didn't pay much attention because that's not the first time that's happened in this fandom. Fans have been messaging Sam's dates for ten years. Nothing new. Usually, it's to harass them, sometimes to show support. Many of the women don't answer but some definitely have. Again, nothing new.

Then, I got a DM from someone I've never talked to before and she tells me she's seen the screencaps of the Alice DM's, and she's very upset about them. She was upset because Alice gave info about how she met Sam, their plans, and then she talked crap about Sam's fans, and said Sam did too. Again, I didn't think anything of it because IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME. I guess for newer fans, it was a shock. Anyhoo, I asked her to show me the screencaps of Alice's DMs with the promise that I wouldn't post them publicly and I wouldn't post her name. Well, I'm keeping my promise, so I'm not going to post them. And just so that people who have seen them know I have also seen them, here's a quote from one of Alice's DM's, "Oh so this was a trap from his weird fans." If anyone still has a doubt, I'd be more than happy to offer other direct quotes. I've seen the DMs. Trust.

So, here's my take. Same shit, different year. There is NOTHING NEW in the Alice DM's. Nothing I haven't shared with the fandom for ten years.

Quick summary: Sam slides into beautiful women's DM's on social media. Check. Sam sends and receives pics. Check BTW, that's everyone that's out there dating and also some married people. Sexy pics are the norm. Again, nothing new. Sam tells a woman he wants to see her, invites her to fly out to meet him. Check. Helloooo, he's rich, famous, and gorgeous. OF COURSE, he's going to fly out dates. Who would say no? Not I, my friends, not I. Sam's hater fans or SamCait shippers slide into newest woman's DM's to get the scoop about Sam or to leave hateful messages. Check. Same as it ever was. Woman responds and shares how excited she is to be with Sam, their plans etc., not realizing she's being tricked, and her DM's will be blasted all over the fandom. Check, check check. Then woman, if she's feisty, reacts to defend herself, and tells fans they're basically crazy, she thinks so, and so does Sam. Again, check, check, check. Anyone who's been here long enough has seen this same scenario play out over and over again.

The above is basically what is contained in the DM's between Alice and the fans. So, back to what I said in my previous post. Does Sam hate his fans? NO. He doesn't hate his normal fans. However, the so called fans, aka SamCait shippers, ex-shippers, now turned Sam hates, THOSE "fans," aka bullies, THOSE fans, he doesn't like so much. AND WITH GOOD REASON. There are many things my insider sources have told me that I haven't shared publicly. One of the things I don't put out there too often is that Sam HAS said his bully fans who have made his life miserable, and the lives of any woman he's dated miserable, are to quote him "mental." That's British for "crazy." AND HE IS NOT WRONG.

So, that's it. Big Whoop. Sam is dating a hot woman, they're into each other, they plan to see each other some more, Sam's warned her about his crazy fans, not all his fans, just his crazy ones, she got curious when she received DM's from these fans she was warned about, and proceeded to defend herself. I literally don't see one thing wrong with this. Good for her and good for Sam.

So, if you're pissed off by what she said in her DM's, then you're one of the "mental" fans Sam warned her about. If you're cheering them both on, then you're one of the sane fans, and Sam definitely loves and appreciates you. Again, I know this with 100% certainty because one degree of separation insider sources have told me this directly over the years.

As an aside, it is also possible the DMs are fake, I don't know how to do it, but I know there are lots of apps that can produce fake DM's. So, for now, I would take it with a grain of salt. But, I actually hope they're real. Serves as a reminder that Sam does think SamCait shippers, ex-shippers, and Sam haters are "mental," since they HAVE harassed him for years. His supportive fans, he adores. Trust. That's all, folks.

[nalyra-dreaming]

hello, I am in a deep spiral about the drop/the dv.

you are so right that so many things, such as the dragging/biting don't even add up with the clean Lestat landing in s1. And his clean face definietly doesn't add up with the beat and bloody face and clothes he has in 2x07. We have the coffin dent, but we have a clean faced Lestat in the whole scene in the sky??

We all knew since s1 that the fight was a bad choice, but we all still love the show. I guess a lot of us are trying to deal with this ooc thing in a show we otherwise really enjoy. It's nice to hear that Sam doesn't really like that choice either, from what I understand? With the revisiting in s2 during the trial, so many things still don't add up, so will we revisit the fight again? How do you think they could 'redeem' that whole shitshow in s3? Posession? Armand's meddling? (since it's almost a parallel to Armand and Lestat)

Idk, I just wish the writers understood that for a lot of us, the fight doesn't make sense and we need clear explanation bc it's a pretty heavy topic. They need to be consistent with this, maybe have a genuine talk with Louis and Lestat about this. Make us understand what really happened without any more twists. I love the portrayal of Loustat in this show, aside from this. Please give me some hope bc I am so deeply obsessed with this show it rekindled my VC era and I am thinking about this day and night

Oh yeah, the show did the same for me *laughs* Sam has stated that he did not like the DV added in episode 5 and he had hoped that AMC would at least add trigger warnings, which they didn't. He also obviously was not satisfied with how 1x06 wanted to set up Lestat's turning, so he added a line.

I do think they will revisit the fight again, yes. And the trial. There are a lot of hooks set up already, especially since they used the fight in the trial. They added deliberate hints and reactions, too.

I am not sure there is "redemption", or that there needs to be redemption. I think the show won't go for "redemption", not really. They expect us to "get it" when the tale shifts again I bet - given that the shifts in the tale right now have been missed by a surprisingly lot of people I am not particularly hopeful... but I don't think Rolin & co care much for that, because emotional uproar is... engagement. And engagement is always good.

Lestat as a fictional character does not need redemption either, not really. And, as a note, the "fight" portion of episode 5 is not the problem, imho. Louis and Lestat fought, canonically. Lestat had anger problems. That's in the book. All good. But to frame it as DV with a clear power discrepancy, and then use very charged racial dynamics on top of it is what made it so irredeemable.

And I don't know how they want to dig themselves out of this, not really. I mean, fandom != general audience. Watching reactions was a bit of a reality check here, because the general audience doesn't have that big of a problem with it all. Fandom does.

And the fandom got big white abuser™ Lestat for (almost) two seasons, in more than 2 years, with a big twist at the end that a lot seem to have missed. With a lot of insinuated meddling and mental influence of the tale. And in s3 they will go to his POV and leave the memory part a bit, by Rolin's words.

I think s3 will give us Lestat telling us of a kind of "black out" during the fight (outside)... and some kind of influence. Maybe he will know what it is, maybe he won't yet (namely Amel). I think he won't know yet. And I think s3 will show us the key scenes between Armand and Lestat... and Nicki. And if we're lucky they will make the echo/parallel there clear, namely Armand telling Lestat he waited for him, and then throwing Lestat off a height, in the book the tower.

We will see.

Given season 2 and the reveals they chose there and how they chose them there... I am not too hopeful they will spell things out.

I don't think they will care to spell them out, outside the episode insiders that is (they have been much more clear in those this season, granted). For them, it's irrelevant of the majority of the audience "gets" the hinted at parallels or reveals. The story will work "enough" with the basic reveals.

Still. Given who Lestat is for the chronicles? Given who Louis is? Given who they are?

Season 3 needs to land. Stick. Hit. And leave this ugly business behind.

And therefore... I hope it will be done then.

Whatever way.

I do think there will be more twists incoming... but I hope that we will be done with the shit pertaining to Louis and Lestat themselves. Given the structure of the books - and the show's - I have a careful hope that we might be soon.

Fingers crossed.

[foot-tea]

My noisy ass wants to know how’s the relationship between footballers and their longtime wags especially when the footballers cheats and the wag stays. Most of the times when the wags leave 💯 it’s because the footballer is done 100% with them and wants to be with the promoted side check ‼️ i say this because Garnacho keeps commenting on his girlfriend’s posts declaring his love and adoration after cheating on her publicly 😭😭

Its usually a loveless relationship because even if feelings of love were developed between them it cannot survive such levels of infidelity. The party which got cheated on starts to hate the cheating party and the cheating party ends up compensating for the cheating through such declarations or materialistic things like birkin bags, luxury trips etc. This constant betrayals and compensations is why a lot of these wags end up having either really arrogant personalities or end up becoming a pushover with low self esteem.

Everytime they get cheated on the public pities them but calls them a golddigger at the same time for staying despite the infidelity. This leads to a complex parasocial dynamic between wags and footballing world.

Wags base their worth on their partner's affection for them. So when a wag leaves they really cant take the whole shitshow anymore or or the kids are grown enough to not worry about 'breaking the house' due to divorce.

Usually footballers dont like breaking up because this system benefits them. The image of a family man and the benefits of having side chicks without worry about what your wife or gf will do if she finds out. The biggest lie in the rich and famous world is that marriages are monogamous for men.

So do I think its the footballers that usually break up with their gfs ? Yes but I believe the girl mentally checked out of their relationship a long time ago and is just staying out of convenience.

[ivyminie]

I'm so excited for Jimin's return, but at the same time, I'm very anxious and worried about everything he's going to see. Comments on lives (group or individual), posters at shows, and all the hate some people are willing to direct at him. Will the members of the most problematic ship, full of disgusting people who harass a member of the group daily, never deny this sick narrative? They're almost 30 years old, this is ridiculous. Is it all because of the engagement these people give them? Because I'm 100% sure they know about these freaks and what they do on the internet. So why the silence? Everything got worse during the military service period, when I thought they would leave Jimin alone. I just want him to be free from this.

jimin has been getting hate and gone through sooo much (2017,2018...) when he was so active, and when he became chronically offline, and even when he was completely inactive and enlisted..atp there is no freeing him out of it cause this is pure sick obsession and it won't fade away unless he becomes completely an irrelevant artist that faded into the shadows with no support and no one talking about him(which is not happening any time soon and which is these ppl's biggest dream). As for those members, wanting them to speak to me would a personal satisfaction but in reality it wont have an impact on the hate jimin gets, tkkrs aren't waiting for jungkook or taehyung to tell them to stop hating on jimin to flip the mental illness switch they have, and trust they will still find a way to manipulate even that to the reality THEY want, like we are talking about the same people who read that "get out of your imagination" and made it into a whole different thing and who are strong believers bts members are part of a script and bh is hiding taekook, When taekook were barely interacting and tkkrs lived on crumbs during 2017-2020 it made them even more delusional and insane and they tripled in number so they also didn't even wait for tae to throw bones at them (yes i'm singling him out and i have my theory on it especially in 2022-2023), like atp if even one of taekook publicly dates, they are gonna go with the larries exact same logic. I can still understand the criticism of not speaking out tho, but i'm not here expecting or hoping for it as that life changing move. If they do it, it will be a commendable brave action but idk if any of them can go out and put into words the reality that he is shipped romatically with his fellow member and that another member is getting hated on because of their made up relationship. My highest expectation of these two would be to talk generally against the hate their fans send to jimin but im sure at most it will all be part of a vague statement where they wont even be able to single out those fans for what they are.....and jimin will somehow end up getting the burnt out of it with pjms too, and it will end up in a shitshow (maybe im too pessimistic idk)

Also if you think about it, tae has made statements in the past about how bts is 7 and that people should love all 7 without leaving one out, did anyone listen?

I genuinely get the frustration over all of this, but at times i feel like because of all those feelings we start scratching at different surfaces trying to find surface level solutions and it turns into either "jimin should get out of bts" "jimin should stop interacting with jungkook" "taekook should speak up"

Also jimin still had access to the internet during enlistement and there were so many hate trains that happened in that time, i just always hope the hate doesnt get to a level where it becomes offline in concerts or fanmeets (on live tbh he's been there at the heights of taekookers mass emailing big hit against jikook and it never “fazed” him seemingly or made him stop interacting with jk) so overall i can only hope he reaches a level where he is above all of this doesn't check and finds his own healthy balance which honestly i do think he had already found years ago when he freed himself from being on socials and that we also shower him with love that it drowns the rest away as much as possible,and fight for him (ig its also part of stanning anyone who is relevant) and maybe im not better because i dont have a concrete solution but tbh maybe it should actually start with his company taking real actions would be the most rational way to go about it.

[nerditudes]

A lil update-- I'm slowly on the mend, but mentally really not feeling like writing stuff. So threads and whatnot are on hold til this funk clears up.

I'm doin self care, fret not about that! I've also been getting back to streaming, and that's been taking up a lot of my time! I've been focusing a lot of my attention on entertaining/performing/doing silly voices in primarily queer and trans spaces to help folks laugh a little.

I live in the US-- it's a shitshow here, other Americans can attest. The situation here is growing dire, but I'm doing what I can to survive. I've reopened my commissions so check 'em out! I don't just do graphics-- I do audio suchery too!

Hopefully I can come back this way soon-- I'm gonna try and get some writing done over the weekend. Thanks for understanding, nerds!

[fiveht]

hello, again!! i am once more thinking about disarm and i was reading some of your answers about it and ugh i’m so obsessed it’s not even funny

but anyway if there’s something you wanna rant about those two, or if there’s a little snippet you’d like to share, consider this ask your sign to ramble away, please and thanks xx

Hi! You sent this like over a week ago and I've been struggling to think of an adequate answer, mostly because I've been spending ALL my mental energy on finishing the sequel to Disarm, which is their cute lil Christmas together. (If you consider absolute gutter filth to be cute, that is.)

The good news is, the sequel is now written! I'm planning to start posting in early November, to give my beautifully supportive beta/muse/bestie @sadbookboys time to wade through what is likely to be a grammatical and structural shitshow. The thing is over 50k words, and there's SO MUCH PORN. 

So here's just a little detail to lead us into the 13 days of Christmas (and check here for an actual snippet if you're interested!)

Remus started buying Christmas gifts for Sirius the day after their first kiss. They hadn't discussed Christmas yet, they hadn't even had sex, but Remus was consumed by the urge to buy Sirius something pretty, and he was going to make sure he could see him over the holidays, even if it was just long enough to give him a present. And then another day went by, and he bought something else. And then again, and again, and again… when it comes to his baby, Remus has more money than sense. He's never wanted to spoil someone before, and he doesn't see any reason to limit himself when he can afford it and Sirius clearly deserves it. So he had about a dozen presents already purchased before he asked Sirius if he wanted to spend Christmas together. And then Sirius said yes, and Remus went out and bought like six more things. He got a bunch of them wrapped at the mall, and hastily shoved the rest into gift bags and piled them all into a guest room closet where he knew they'd be safe from Rieka's scrutiny.

Sirius, on the other hand, has never actually celebrated Christmas, not in any real way. The Blacks would go to mass on Christmas Eve, and his parents would have a horrible, stuffy party for their horrible, stuffy friends, and Sirius and Regulus were forced to wear ill-fitting suits and stand in the corner being seen and not heard. And those are the positive Christmas memories. If he managed to skate through it completely ignored, it was a win. So Remus asking to spend the holidays with him came completely out of left field, and when Remus says he wants to spoil him, all Sirius is expecting is like, home cooked meals and lots of sex. (He's going to get those things too, he's just also going to get an absolutely disgusting number of extravagant gifts to go with it.)

Thank you so much for the ask, and sorry it took so long for me to respond! Stay tuned, I'm aiming to post chapter one of Christmas on November 6. ❤️