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#and my dad keeps making excuses
sunlit-mess · 4 months
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sick(?)
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dukeofthomas · 3 months
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I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.
Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#batfamily#jason todd#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#listen i can only take so much of it before i just breakdown okay#apparently controversial opinion but a family where its normal to vreak into each others homes and manipulate each other and stalk and#invade boundaries and autonomy and privacy can NOT be healthy#no matter how much you try to dress it up all cute w 'this is just how they are' 'its how they show their love' its never not gonna be#unhealthy and bad and toxic#like yeah they do do that. they are like that. either acknowledge it or stop trying to justify it#god this actually irks me so much#i try to idk. suspend my disblief but theres only so much i can actuallt fucking take before just#its just. im trying to read happy fluffy fics. but i cant be comforted by a family that normalizes breaking boundaries n invading privacy#and its specifically that the author aleays disregards it. instead of fixing it or making it better they opt to keep it and come up w excuse#s for it#and thats what actually triggers me#'i broke into ur house cus if i asked if i could come over ud say no' is actuallt fucking horrifying stop trying to make it seem loving???#im writing this while having a panic attack dont mind me 👍#but its like. if you can write the batfam w/o bruce hitting his kids or any other horrific thing that they do#then why must you keep the boundary&privacy breaking? why cant anyone even seemingly try to write a batfam#where theyve worked their issues abt this out best they can n have healthy established boundaries w each other??#like if u can write them all hanging out together 24/7 n bruce being s good dad why is this one simple thing the One Thing#nobody even tries to address properly???#'aw dick broke into jason's saehouse bc he wanted to hangout but jason would say no if he asked' aw. maybe dick should learn 'no means no'
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cienie-isengardu · 5 months
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Lo and Li and their (not) looking after Azula and Zuko in "The Beach"
I have talked a lot about Zuko and Azula lately because “The Beach” episode gives a lot of context for their relationship, but it would be a crime to omit the most funny detail (implication) coming from this episode: the presence of Lo and Li.
Those two older women were introduced into the series as Azula’s teachers (that definitely fueled her unhealthy sense of perfectionism) and some sort of advisors before the princess recruited Ty Lee and Mai on the hunt for Zuko, Iroh and later, the Avatar. The story alone gives little about Lo and Li, but considering their relationship and influences on the princess, we can assume they had, if not outright trust, then at least Ozai’s approval to keep an eye on his “precious”, prodigy daughter. As they were the only adults connected to Fire Lord and at whose house the Royal Siblings and their friends stayed in "The Beach" episode, I thought of them as not really nannies, but more like chaperones.
Zuko and Azula faced Avatar and survived, Mai and Ty Lee proved to be capable of beating down full grown men one on one (or more precisely, one vs many). So fine, ok, Ozai may trust his kids to be able to defend themselves - if the thought about their safety even occurred to him at all. But Zuko and Azula are, and I can’t stress it enough, teenagers sent on vacation and teenagers may do stupid stuff for fun just to taste the little freedom granted them. So it makes sense to me that Lo and Li should supervise the Royal Siblings, because vacation or not, they are still prince and princess, the precious heirs to the throne. And like, Zuko is with his girlfriend (official fiancee?) and you can never be sure what teenagers in love and with buzzing hormones will do, right? Same with Azula, who as we learn through the episode, will happily grab the occasion to flirt with a  handsome, popular boy and the innocent kiss turned out quickly into her passionate rant: “Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in the entire world! We will dominate the Earth!”. 
Azula’s mind really jumped from casual fun (no harm done if Ozai won’t learn about it) to the conclusion that boy she knew for what? a few hours at best will be her boyfriend and part of the future (military?) plans and understandable Chen freaked out and ran away. The taste of freedom affected even Azula, our so emotionally composed, clever girl, because again, a teenager, adolescent curiosity, lack of supervision and buzzing hormones are a dangerous mix. 
(I suspect Zuko getting Mai pregnant would be less scandalous than if Azula - the princess - ended with a bastard child at the age of 14/15. If Ozai would even allow the kid to be born.)
And what Lo and Li were doing the whole episode? Either giving some cryptic speech about how Ember Island is a magical place or encourage kids.
“Time to hit the beach!“ they said
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while never bothering going with kids there
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(or did Lo and Li have fun on their own ignoring the bunch of their temporary wards?).
And when Azula, Zuko and Ty Lee talked about Chen and why Azula didn’t betray their Royal Family status (and presumably of going to the night party)? Again, the two old women did nothing besides giving some more cryptic advice and saying “to the party!”.
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Like, they were totally okay that Fire Royal Siblings (in range of age from 14 to 16) planned to stay at house of unknown boy(s) for the whole night. Again, Zuko is 16, at best almost 17, but Azula is 14 (at best 15) and I don’t think this is an appropriate age to let a girl - especially the princess you are responsible for - go to a party with presumably much older boys. 
(Unless this is why Azula demanded Zuko, her older brother, to be invited alongside her? Not like he checked out if she is alright before he was kicked out for the fight with Mai over some guy but I guess, with a sister like Azula it is easy to assume she doesn’t need babysitting, because Azula could and would kick Chen or anyone else’s ass if they pissed her off). 
My point is, Lo and Li could give the girls and Zuko some serious talk or at least ask to be careful or anything the supposed chaperons should say (or like,  outright demand from Zuko to keep an eye on his younger sister and the noble girls as the oldest and you know, the guy). Because Azula is first and foremost a princess, the same as Zuko is the prince and like, the Royal Family does not need any teenage drama and scandal (and from the previous episode we know Azula and Zuko are now the public figures at the capital).
I’m not sure if perceiving Lo and Li as some sort chaperons to the “banished for a weekend” Royal Siblings was author’s intention or not, but there is something incredible funny how those old women introduced as strict teachers criticizing Azula for not perfect hairstyle while she is working on her lighting technique - a skill absolutely amazing to have at the age of 14 - won’t even bother to keep an eye on the same girl and just let the whole bunch of emotionally stunted and traumatized teenagers freely roam on the “magical” beach and go to night party to total strangers. It is pretty hilarious if not a bit sad. Because wow, Ozai did not give much fuck about any of his kids one way or another. 
Aaand this is what I get when rewatching ATLA as an adult lol.
I know this is animations for kids/teenagers, but what if Chen didn’t freak out? Would Azula be curious enough to experience something more than just a kiss? And well, we assume Chen and Ruon-Jian are in age close to Zuko & Azula (as if they were adults they would be enrolled into army, I think?) But there is still a room for them being older than Zuko who himself is two years older than Azula. Also, them inviting Ty Lee & Mai specifically for how they look without bothering to ask for their name and the way a group of boys cornered Ty Lee to the point she needed to chi-blocking all of them kinda gives me the feeling the party was an occasion for them to pick up girl for night or something along the way. Dunno if I read the scene/intention right but it gives that vibe I guess…?
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number1girl · 1 month
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my boss is abusive like straight up <3 <3 <3 not even in a "donate to my gofundme to help me escape an abusive living situation and by that i mean my roommate asked me to do the dishes" type of way. like i am literally trapped in the cycle of build up explosive incident honeymoon phase
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steakout-05 · 1 month
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drawing my Craig fan design for REAL!!!!! + stupid little doodles
earlier i made a post talking about how i was planning on making my own canon where Crarry could still feasibly exist (as well as having other story beats and whatnot) and i mentioned how i refined my Craig design a little bit from the last time i drew him. i finally got around to actually drawing a proper full-body sketch of him and what he's supposed to look like!!! i think i drew his eyes a little more far apart than i intended but. whatever.
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he's my skrunkly. he's my baby. he's got perpetually bored resting face and a phd in Pocketbeasts lore. he's got messy hair and a few stray whiskers as he tends to forget his own personal hygiene, what with being a hardworking scientist who usually doesn't show his face and all. i redesigned his eye to have more of a prominent scratch on it that warps and distorts his pupil, as i felt like that'd be the most fitting for his facial scar and the type of injury he has!
and for fun i'm gonna do a general timeline of the evolution of how i've drawn this design over time, because it's actually changed quite a bit since i first drew him back in 2022!! (click for better quality)
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god it is. so weird looking back at that first design. it's so..... why is he so square shaped............. lol
now, in terms of differentiating this Craig from Canon Craig, i've thought of giving him some slight personality enhancements that i've always thought would fit him. i haven't seriously thought about it yet (i am tired) but here's some basic little traits i want to make more apparent in his character:
Logical Knowledgeable Creative Naive Perfectionist Fearful and Cowardly Not a very high self-esteem; Afraid to take charge Easily exhausted Not physically strong; Makes up for it with his quick-thinking skills Easily irritated when presented with inaccurate/false information Easily embarrassed; Tends to erase memories when this happens Reliable Honest Earnest Nerdy; LOVES to infodump about any given special interest he has Focused, sometimes to a fault Detail-oriented Introverted
this will likely be expanded on and developed more, but these general personality traits are quite fitting for how i headcanon Craig to be as a person!
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i love how whenever i get attached to a character or even just really like them, i always bestow my best headcanon onto them in high regard: the autism headcanon. gonna try to keep this short so i don't infodump for 12 hours but the major autism traits i like to imagine Craig displaying are issues with social skills (unaware of many cues, accidentally says things in an inappropriate way/unintended tone, takes things literally, misconstrues sarcasm as genuine statements), a speech affect (monotone affect), low empathy (doesn't feel what other people feel and has trouble reacting to and feels uncomfortable with certain emotions), has special interests (robotics and engineering, Pocketbeasts, cats, and he loves infodumping about them!!), stimming (rubbing the back of his head when uncomfortable, fidgeting with and studying a particularly intriguing object or tool very closely, doing little puzzles that make little clicky noises that are very pleasant to listen to), experiences sensory issues (joint pain, eye strain, sensitivity to loud and sudden noises, despises certain tastes and textures, often experiences shutdowns), has a strong need for a solidified routine (sudden routine changes can cause distress for him, as he needs more time to process his surroundings and has a strong need for structure in his daily life), a few motor control issues (he's quite clumsy and has issues with spatial awareness, causing him to bump into stuff. this has unfortunately resulted in him bumping his thigh on the edge of a table way too many times.) and a few other things i've probably forgotten about. a lot of these are inspired by a few of my own traits as an autistic guy myself. the dude's like a combo of Data, Barclay and Geordi mixed into one dorky nerd (apologies for any non-trekkie followers who don't know who those characters are :skull:)
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Craig seems like the type of person who, once you get him started, will infodump to you about his special interests for HOURS and he still wouldn't even be done yet. just like me fr. also tiny little Craig getting his face smooshed
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get squoshed idiot
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this is an older sketch i did when i was still finalising Craig's design along with doodling other stuff on the page. this was a little expression test of Craig blowing his face up with chemicals because 1. i thought it'd be funny. and it was. and 2. i've never really drawn him with big wacky expressions before, and i LOVE drawing big wacky expressions lol. it will be a rare sight to see Craig making a face like that but it'll still be funny nonetheless lol
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no comment. only moob. i feel the same way about barry tbh HAHAHAAH what who said that
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i fucking LOVE the Yababaina music video so much, it's absolutely insane and fun to watch, although it does put my eyes out of focus when i look at it for too long. heavy eyestrain and seizure warning for anyone who wants to check the video out, it's extremely fast-paced and has a lot of bright saturated colours. here are my three boys drawn doing that little handholding thing Miku, Teto and Zundamon do in the video. also first drawing of Prince Runingunin!!! he's so silly <3
that's everything i have today. i'm excited to draw this version of Craig more and make more art of him and Barry together!! just sucks i have to sorta swerve around canon with a convoluted solution but whatever. i like diverging from canon and making stuff up into my own thing anyway lol. blond nerd craig my beloved
#jetpack joyride#jetpack joyride 2#craig the scientist#barry steakfries#prince runingunin#alternate canon#i'm sure gonna have an excuse to draw this craig a lot more aren't i#heheheheehehee#also if you are wondering. i'm just gonna start shipping prince runingunin with barry in canon#it's the next best thing really and i've liked the idea of shipping them for a while so#unless HE also gets confirmed to be barry's second dad out of nowhere 😭 /jjjjjjjjjjjj#do not jinx it#anyway yeah. in my canon barry and craig are autistic and gay#not only because I Said So but also there's actually a surprising amount of justification to them being neurodivergent if you read into it-#-a lot and have a think about it#like i wasn't even looking for evidence of them being autistic on purpose and yet. i have crafted a whole entire headcanon that fits#and it fits shockingly well#anyway uueeuerem. really tired right now so not much else to say#craig is my little guy and i'm probably gonna make some super gay art with him and barry#it's what i do best :D#just a shame it has to be restricted to my AUs and self-contained canon but like. what are you gonna do about it.#craig's gonna end up being a whole fucking oc at this point loooolll#kinda don't want him to end up being an oc though.... like i still want him to be recognisable as craig before the jj2 shorts#i want him to be craig but different from canon basically. take everything i knew and loved about craig until the reveal and keep that goin#-in a separate canon where the silly dad reveal never happened#hueueugghhuh im gonna go sleep now#ignore the barry moob sketch. forget i said anything. what that wasn't me who said that what are you talking about. sshshhhhshh
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heartshattering · 5 months
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Feeling like I want to give up again...
#now it's my dad who's deciding to be a jerk towards me because he's mad at my mom#okay that's cool I guess#I haven't been feeling well at all today#I can't even distract myself#my dad's being so dramatic too like it's not my fault he's on a break from work but still doing stuff he could probably get out of doing#but he wants to be away from me and my mom so. I get it#he's never at home even when he's supposedly on a break from his job lol#this is how my mom and I know he's lying about retiring#because he's always putting it off#he was supposed to retire this year but nope#if he doesn't have his job he has no excuse to get out of the house and he hates being around us#Goddddd#he is such a fucking hypocrite#getting mad at me over something he has also done before and then saying it was fine when HE did it because it was 'months ago already'#(dropping something except in his case he actually SHATTERED it lmao)#but yeah... me dropping something without breaking it is WORSE than him dropping and actually breaking it...#wow#amazing logic#then my dad keeps complaining about how we don't care. when he's the one who proves over and over again that he's the one who doesn't care#I forget what they're called but he's the parent type who doesn't get involved in anything#he's never stood up for me and he's watching me rot and hurt myself and he's just like 'oh okay as long as it doesn't involve me idc'#he's not fucking stupid like he can tell there's shit clinically wrong with me but not once has he acted like an actual parent towards me#and yeah I'm an adult now but it's still fucked me up so badly#he is such a fucking coward#and selfish#if he could drop me and my mom somehow I know he would at the drop of the hat#but remember he's a coward so. I know he fucking won't#God this is making my urges get bad again#I'm crying 'cause I'm just so fucking pathetic :')
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dirtytransmasc · 9 months
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(personal vent about my sack of shit father ruining christmas again)
me, my fathers only "daughter"/child:
helps my grandmother for weeks to prepare for his christmas party that neither of us wanted (he goes way over the top. invites his friends that are all loud drunks. cooks food we don't like. keeps the whole house up partying into the early hours of the morning. makes a mess and refuses to clean up after himself. doesn't spend time with us and instead hangs out with his friends, even for family holidays and events. etc.
me and my grandmother are disabled, constantly in pain/have stomach issues, and generally just want to be left on our own for holidays, so the whole event is just awful for us)
has been up since 6* in the morning, continuing to prepare for his party so he doesn't throw a hissy fit, running on only a few hours of sleep*, running around from store to store, cleaning, cooking, decoaring, etc.
spends hours trying to wake him up.
after doing everything I am capable of skill/strength wise, I took a two hour power nap before guests come.
helps serve dinner, makes drinks, fulfills every task my father gives me to maintain the delicate peace in the household, cause my grandmother wants to murder him*.
does all of this with no complaint.
my father:
promises his full and undivided attention and help the day before the party (this is the only day he's offered the slightest help outside of making a huge dinner no one but he and his friends wanted), he then breaks this promise, does nothing, delegates every task my grandmother has given him to me, and then leaves at 6 at night to go party, ignoring the amount of cooking he needs to finish.
doesn't come home for almost 12 hours (he came home at 6am), waking me up*, sleeps till 1, leaving me and my gradnmother do 90% of the things that needed to be done today (as his guests are coming at 4).
invites more friends than he originally told us about, ditching us after dinner (which we served) to go hang out outside and blast music so loud it shakes the house.
and then complains that I "slept all day" and "did nothing" so now I need to clean the whole kitchen and all the dishes of over 15 guests, not him, the reason there's such a mess to clean.
he continues to demand this even after something he cooks, knowing I hate it and it makes me feel ill, and stinks up the whole kitchen, making me go lie down because it made me nauseous and gave me a migraine.
I then get to spend the rest of my christmas eve cleaning, doing dishes, while barely holding back tears.
thanks dad, for ruining an already awful christmas, you fucking asshole.
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childhoodtheme · 1 year
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watching succession will cause irreparable damage to ur relationship with ur own father……
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feluka · 2 years
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i'll say it again. every SWANA girlie should be entitled to one free patricide per lifetime no charges no jail time no nothing
#devastating news today.#i learned that 1- my dad wanted to start a bet on me dropping out of uni before the end of the year.#he was serious too. thankfully my mom told him to shut the fuck up :)that's exactly what i need while struggling with my studies thanks dad#2- he's now spreading lies about me to my mom to make me look bad#he told her i lie when i say I'm going to sleep and instead i keep the lights on and stay up all night#and that he sees me frolicking around playing and having fun while claiming to be asleep#my mom called him out on being a shitty liar because when i can't sleep i still keep the lights off because i fucking hate the lights#and also she comes to check up on me at night and sees that i am asleep so she told him he's a liar#and now 3- he's claiming my whole mental health lapse thing was me faking depression to get away with having poor grades#which is funny because he took me to the psych hospital himself and told our entire extended family that I've gone crazy.#funny how he changes his story all the fucking time!#and his proof? he 'sees me chatting with people and laughing all the time so i can't be that depressed'#what people you fucking dickhead. do you know how debilitating lonely i am. do you have any idea how much it kills me.#and when my mom tried to stand up for me and say that i don't talk to people#his reasoning was that i'm being secretive about it because i must be talking to boys 😐😐😐😐#i truly dont understand him. like my guy YOU put me in a girls school and follow me outside everyday to make sure i take the girls' train.#like what boys have i conjured out of thin fucking air. literally what the FUCK are you on about.#also now he's using that as an excuse to 'keep an eye on me' and look in my stuff and follow me around#i know he opens my phone because that absolute idiot accidentally took a photo of himself with it#and i know he follows me this isn't news to me. i just. idk. i thought we were on better terms these days????#like i truly thought we were being friendly and cool with each other lately???#then he explodes out on nowhere with this stuff and goes on and on about how much of his money is wasted on me!!!!!#i'm just so sad all the time and i'm truly trying to hold on and not end everything and i dont need him to do this to me right now#i'm so so sad and tired! really i don't see an end to this!#one day i'll walk into the ocean and have him fish my corpse out of the water
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dontwanderoff · 1 year
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so they've asked me to finish out the year with this class
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oglegoggle · 2 years
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Weird double emotion of lonely and longing & too mistrusting of others to really even want to attempt to date now (if ever again tbh)
#this is goggles#just tired of relationships that make me feel like I am the sun to them when really they’ve lit me on fire and are burning me up#so they can in a way pretend to be tragic Icarus who flew too close#I continue to feel like a MPDG to the people I date#like I’m eccentric and handsome and dreamy and fun yeah#But I am not always my best traits#and often I have weird and tricky needs that nobody I’ve been with has really be able or willing to accomodate#I know that I’m very very hard to love at my most raw#it hurts so much to warn someone of this and they insist that they can in fact love me when it’s hard#but then when my hard time love times roll around whoopsie doopsie guess you were right after all#and just I put a lot of work and effort into my relationships desperately wanting to milk even a tenth of the effort in return back out#and I’m tired of it#I’m tired of putting work into others who think I’m some perfect dreamboat who is going to swoop in and fix their life#I tired of putting work into people who won’t put the work into me#couldn’t even schedule fucking counseling for us immediately after his evil cat slashed my literal eyeball#pathetic slob an absolute manchild a sorry excuse for a partner or a son#I sure as fuck felt like a crazy hybrid of partner and dad to him as much as I tried to convince him to do his chores and do them right#this isn’t even the first time that this shit has happened don’t know why I keep letting it#I’m the nameless love interest in your back story that was sooooo dreamy and romantic and good in bed that you dream of him for life#the one you fantasize about when you’re inevitably having problems in your 23 year marriage decades down the line#think about what ever happened to him and wonder if you could’ve made it work#but I’ll be long long gone#you won’t know whatever happened to me or if you could’ve made it work#you’ll go back to your unhappy marriage and tell yourself it’s what you deserve for fucking it up with me#me? I’ll have probably asphyxiated on my vomit or something by then ol’ Jimi style#because let’s be real I’m probs gonna lose grasp on my little Habit eventually#it gets worse and worse with each major trauma I endure#I need the traumatic experiences to stop please I am so so tired#may solitude in the Parks give me peace#may peace give me detachment
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hand-painted-5tars · 2 years
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i was in some sort of productivity strike but i halted it at some point and i cant seem to concentrate enough to get it back and well i dragged it trying to get back during the week but it isnt working very well so,
im kinda frustrated.
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orbinnshirt · 2 months
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no mother i do not want to leave my room i am working on my magnum opus and a lack of interruptions is essential
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vampfucker666 · 5 months
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any time i start slipping w my food intake my stomach is right there to back me up and make me wanna kms ❤️ thanks buddy i will never be free from your shackles !
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thezodiacco · 5 months
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.
#so ive never really done a vent post like this on here (or anywhere for that matter)#so idrk how this is gonna go but ig im gonna try it anyway cause idrk what else to do at this point lmao#look. listen. i know. i know *logically* that if i did die or disappear or whatever i know people would miss me#i know people would be sad and heartbroken and i know people care about me listen. i *know*#but i just. i cant help but think that everything would be better if i just. wasnt here#like. i just feel like such a burden to everyone around me. like i feel like i make everyones life actively worse#especially my dad#god he deserves so much better than me#i treat him so fucking badly like. all he asks of me is to keep my spaces clean and i just fucking. dont#i let the shit and the garbage pile up until hes overwhelmed cause i cant fucking bring myself to do simple fucking human tasks#cause of my fucking adhd or whatever#even though thats just an excuse#i should be able to do these things! i should be able to function like a normal human being!#i should be able to keep up with my hygiene and my chores and my school and work responsibilities!#but i cant! i fucking cant!#god im so fucking tired im fighting. im so tired of trying over and over and over again all for it to not fucking matter in the end#cause im right back where i fucking started#god all of this is just a shitty excuse to continue being a shit fucking human being#i dont even feel human anymore lol i feel *less* than human#god i wish i was less than human. i wish i was a fucking dog or something#that way i wouldnt have to worry about this bullshit world#that says a lot about me huh#im gonna end it there#ignore this pls#vent#tw vent
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nexus-nebulae · 6 months
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now how the hell do i convince my mother that saying "that's a bad area to live in bc a lot of black people live there" is a really fucking racist thing to say
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