#and not something HR strong armed her into

[tacosaysroar]

VICTORY IS MINE

[kenananamin]

Nanami as a girl dad

Nanami is a girl dad, I will not argue or fight on this but if you think he's not... i got news for you ANYWAYS these are my Nanami headcanons as the best husband and dad and what he would do as a girl dad during pregnancy, birth, and actually raising the baby

takes a personal day off work to take you to your doctor's appointments then takes you to brunch and a movie. will hold your hand the whole time

fought HR/managers/supervisors/ANYONE for as much paternity leave as he could get

asked if he could work from home bc he doesn't want to miss a single moment of your pregnancy or newborn baby

sits on the floor to talk to his baby girl and holds your tummy saying that he's holding her hand

made 20 copies of the sonogram picture and kept them all. there's a copy in his wallet, behind his phone case, in the glove compartment, and in every suit jacket pocket close to his heart. he likes to brag about his girls (you and baby)

comes back from the store with more diapers and wipes bc "we need to be prepared"

bookmarks blog posts talking about how to bond with your baby

reads every book he can and asks the doctor more questions than any other dad who comes into the office

will ask anyone he trusts for advice, but gets defensive when someone tells him to do something differently

takes naps with his head on your lap and his lips touching your belly

has two hospital bags ready in the closet but has an emergency one in the trunk... just in case

does not sleep the whole time you're in labor even when the nurses tell him to "rest before the baby gets here"... that gets him more excited and doesn't let him sleep

tells you to dig your nails into his arm if you need to when you start pushing. kisses your entire face when the baby starts to cry and rushes to the nurse holding her to ask if they could stamp the baby's feet on his shirt/gown before cleaning her (a/n: my dad did this with me and it is the cutest thing ever. we still have the gown with the tiny feet stamped on there)

carefully takes off the shirt/gown and immediately wants to do skin-to-skin contact after you hold the baby first

follows baby to the hospital nursery and takes pictures of sleeping baby to change his wallpaper

changes wallpaper every two days bc "she did something cute" or "sticking her tongue out" or "giving me the stink eye"

loves waking up with her at night bc besides letting you rest... it's daddy-daughter time so don't interrupt

demonstrates what tummy time is while she lays on her baby bouncer (you laugh bc it's ridiculous and she's only a couple weeks old)

buys scrapbook and disposable cameras to start an album (the first of a hundred probably)

buys special clips for crib blankets to be tight and immovable around mattress bc he kept reading about possible suffocation

either way, does not like for her to sleep in her own room so he buys an extra baby moses to put in your room

has an extra diaper bag in his car bc he likes impromptu trips to let mommy rest

sulking when he has to go back to work

finds remote job within the next month

sits baby down on his lap while be works and she plays with her toy

throws an intimate 1st bday party first then a second one the next weekend to invite anyone he's ever talked to and brag about his family

literally kicks his feet and giggles with his daughter then stands up to be the most intimidating man to anyone else

tears of joy when you're pregnant again and sobs when they say it's a girl

carries his girls with him everywhere he goes

is proud that he's raising strong women who will learn how to fight for themselves. keeps reminding himself that he's raising the next generation and that fuels a fire deep inside him

let's the girls play with his hair and put all the clips they can find around the house on his head

lets his fingers and toes be horribly painted while he reads the newspaper and leaves the house with those nails

gets teary eyed on the first day of school and waits outside the school the whole day for a week (paid time off used)

can only do simple pony tails and braids but loves waking the girls up, sitting them on his lap and doing their hair while you get them dressed

making cute lunches for the girls with you is one of his favorite parts of the day

likes dressing the girls alike or the same and has a strange obsession with buying them overalls

loves playing barbie with them and lowkey has a favorite barbie

goes toy shopping behind mommy's back and tells the girls that this is the only secret that they can ever ever keep

randomly brings back flowers for every single one of his girls

takes his girls (you and daughters) on group and individual dates

makes the girls sign a contract written in crayon stating they "will love daddy forever"... frames it and puts it in his office

cries tears of joy AGAIN when you're pregnant with another girl... and looks for a bigger house

rips off door side where he was marking the girl's height and puts it in the new house. he did not believe in marking/tracing it on another thin piece of wood and said he wanted the original

takes everyone out for dessert every Friday and checks in on each kid to see how they're feeling and if they're ok

never misses a single game, recital, rehearsal, practice, ANYTHING

takes his daughters to their first self-defense class

does not believe in violence and does not condone it... but will first ask the girls if they won the fight (strongly insinuates that he will be disappointed if someone kicks their ass)

corrects the girls when needed and has a special look to tell them to stop messing around

later goes to apologize if he ever uses the look

will ask the girls for a sleepover and will throw every blanket on the floor to make one huge bed

tells the girls to follow him as he does repairs around the house or on the car bc they "need to know how it all works and how to deal with it"

is shocked when you're pregnant again (even though he likes to do a certain something that leads to babies) but is REALLY SHOCKED when it's a boy this time

reminds the girls that they have to be nice and helpful with their brother

starts all the reading and bookmarking all over again, but his time on how to raise a gentleman

raises the best little dude and let's the girls show him everything he has shown them so far

okaaaay okay i know i said he's a girl dad and a girl dad only buuuuut Nanami would raise the best little gentleman ever. AND IMAGINE A MINI NANAMI?!! ... but he's still a girl dad first and foremost

extras:

would absolutely praise his wife and randomly thank her for giving him a family

will wear a disguise and follow daughters to first date

refuses to parentify any of his kids and wants to let them be kids

constantly reminds them that they only get to be kids for a short amount of time then they have to be adults for the rest of their lives. so be silly

is always down for a quiet drive if anyone needs to clear their head

dreads the day when he will no longer he able to carry his kids on his shoulders

has already made mental plans for every possible situation the kids may create, even the absolutely crazy ones his brain has imagined

is very open w the girls and talks about safety in intimacy

leaves cute notes during bad or iffy days and writes motivational quotes on their mirrors with dry-erase markers

loves when you say he's a dilf

tries to talk to them about the stock market

passes his budgeting king crown to the kids

feels super cool when his kids brag to their friends about him, even puffs his chest a little bit

[propertyofwicked]

WORKPLACE PREDICAMENT - LN

part 2 to homesick <3 (potentially a part 3 incoming?)

warnings - none, just heavy on the angst, hurt/comfort and a cheeky bit of fluff

masterlist

the sun rose late, light shining through the window, illuminating the empty white walls. y/n scrunched her eyes up, the sun too bright, as she kicked herself for not shutting her curtains when she went to bed the night before. it took a moment for her to even realise she was laying on her sofa, the chair so new and unused that the fabric was stiff, uncomfortable, and digging in her side. she pushed her body upright, her eyes searching for her phone as her mind ran over the events of last night.

she’d fallen asleep in the offices, lando had driven her home, and sat with her till she fell asleep. no, she thought, shaking her head - he held her till she fell asleep. and if she digs deeper in her memories, the feeling of his lips pressing a soft kiss to her head as he whispered goodnight plagues her brain, pulling at her emotions. she’d promised not to let her school girl crush on a colleague get out of hand, but when they kiss your head and hold you till you fall asleep - what else is a girl supposed to do?

y/n didn’t dare to imagine the HR nightmare this could be if she allowed the situation to develop, so much so that she sighed in relief that she had to following week booked off to allow her to move in and settle in the new flat.

lando, however, was panicking.

he’d awoken several hours before her, the jet lag complicating his sleep schedule. he wasn’t sure how long he’d spent staring down at her sleeping form, legs curled up into her chest as her head rested on his lap. his fingers played with strands of her hair, tucking them behind her ears as he fought back the urge to bend down and kiss her again.

their close friendship was inevitable, everyone thought so. their personalities complimented each other well, the two of them could always be found giggling about something together. however, it was only in this moment that lando realised his need to be near her, his calm nature when she was present at his races or the urge he felt to always make sure she was alright was more than friendship. he wanted to know everything about her, her favourite colour, what she was allergic to, how she got that scar on her knee.

the reason he felt an overwhelming urge to care for y/n the previous night, and the strong desire he felt to do it every night became clearer and clearer with every corner lando turned on his way to the mclaren offices. he had a strong feeling it was the same reason he felt ridden with guilt when he prised her arms from him this morning, holding her head gently before lowering on to the sofa as he snuck out of her flat.

lando norris had a crush. a HR violating crush, that could destroy her entire career if he acted on it.

as he walked into the offices, he found himself face to face with oscar, who looked him up and down for a moment, deep in thought, before returning back to his face, eyes widening in realisation. until that very moment, lando had forgotten about the reason he had even been in the offices at 3am that morning, the events of the night returning to his mind. he hadn’t been home in between, he was wearing the same outfit oscar had seen him in mere 5 hours before, however his clothes now had y/n’s vanilla perfume embedded in the fibres.

lando shook his head at him, pleading for the australian to stay silent. his eyes darted around, looking for an empty side room, before nodding his team mate in that direction, silently telling him to follow him.

“so…” oscar started, closing the door quietly behind him, “how is she?”

“she’s… good?” lando replied, unsure where to start.

“and you’re in the same clothes because…?” oscar continued, leading the conversation for lando to fill in.

“i haven’t been home?” he replied wincing a little at how it sounds, “but nothing happened. she was upset, so we watched a film and she fell asleep on me.”

“right,” oscar nods, starting to understand. secretly, he’d always rooted for y/n and lando, noticing the connection between the two of them as many others had.

“she hates being alone,” lando added, still trying to justify himself, despite oscar never accusing him of anything, “the new flat, she hates it. too quiet, too lonely. she just needed someone there.”

“not someone, lando, you. she needed you there,” oscar replied, deciding to finally bring up the elephant in the room. lando didn’t respond, deciding to nod at his team mate whilst remaining deep in thought.

“and i wanted that. i liked that she needed me,” he said finally, looking up to see oscar’s face bearing a satisfied smile.

“what did she say to you when she woke up?” oscar asked, with genuine interest. lando grimaced again.

“she didn’t.”

“what do you mean she didn’t?” oscar asked, confusion written over his face until - “you left while she was asleep?”

“i needed to go to work and she just looked so peaceful and-” lando started, sighing deeply before his next statement, “and then i realised i wanted to see that every day. her waking up, getting ready, you know, like, domestic stuff. and then i realised i like her a lot more than i thought i did, and a lot more than HR would be happy about.”

“fuck HR,” oscar said, clapping his hands onto lando’s shoulders, “you like her mate, and i know she feels the same. do what makes you happy, worry about the consequences later.”

“she likes me back?” lando asked, smiling at the news, whilst choosing to ignore this new side of oscar who suddenly doesn’t think about consequences.

“everyone sees the way she looks at you. you could literally kill a puppy and she’d still look at you as if you hung the moon and stars.”

lando nodded at him, feeling the conversation come to a natural end as they left the room, starting up a new conversation about the meeting they had later that day.

lando decided he’d speak to her about it when she came in for her shift later, he started planning how he’d ask her to join him for dinner that evening, or maybe he’d invite her out for a late night drive. but his chance never arose, y/n never showed up.

and he didn’t see her in person till the following week. he had walked into the paddock, his mood still low when y/n still hadn’t been at the offices, or on the jet for the race weekend. he knew she was ok, as she had been interacting in their work associated group chats, all the while leaving his texts on delivered for hours, and only responding with the bare minimum when she did.

had he gone too far? he hadn’t meant to call her angel, he hadn’t meant to over insert himself in her life. did she know how he felt about her and it wasn’t mutual?

he’d spent the whole week beating himself up, believing he’d made her so uncomfortable that she’d gone MIA, and despite oscar’s reassurance, he couldn’t help but be miserable. but upon entering the mclaren hospitality centre, he heard her all too familiar laugh, his eyes immediately darting around the room till it settled on her frame. her hair was tied up in a low bun, keeping her hair from her eyes as she conversed with oscar.

he walked up to them slowly, anticipating a negative reaction from y/n, but once again found himself surprised when she turned and smiled at him.

“hey, we wondered where you’d got to,” she started, “i need to take a few pictures of you both in the garage for instagram. maybe a track walk video for stories?”

he nodded at her, dwelling on her almost professional tone. she was smiling, but there was no friendly teasing about how late he was, no jokes about his hair being a mess.

“just gimme 2 minutes to dump my bag and im all yours,” he replied, smiling at her again before locating his personal room.

im all yours ran through y/n’s brain like a mantra that day, it felt like her brain was bullying her, constantly reminding her that he was in fact, not all hers. she’d spent the week thinking of lando, and only him. how he speaks, how respectful he is, his charming nature, his curls. he would be the death of her, and she could never have him. ultimately, she decided that distancing herself would be the best course of action. keep it professional, keep it friendly, keep your job - she tried to remind herself every time she caught herself staring at him for longer than normal.

y/n wholeheartedly believed the rest of the weekend went well. she got her job done, remained professional and kept all her clothes on when lando stepped out of his car, sweating lightly and looking as if the gods had sculpted him.

lando wholeheartedly believed she was being insufferable and childish. she wouldn’t talk to him if it wasn’t work related, always managed to be ‘busy’ when he needed to talk, and spent more time talking to some of the engineers than she had ever spoken to them before. he was seething. he wasn’t annoyed at her, per say, more himself for letting it happen.

which is how he ended up outside her hotel room, knocking aggressively on her door 3 times before stepping back and fiddling with his fingers.

when she opened the door, lando stuttered saying hello, taken aback at the way her hair framed her face. she was wearing one of his old t-shirts he’d given her after a work christmas party - it hung low on her, almost covering the small cotton shorts she wore underneath. to him, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“lando? what’s wrong?” she asked with genuine concern, her voice soft as her eyes widened at him. but for some reason, this angered him. how could she not know what was wrong?

“what’s wrong?” he repeated cruelly, watching as she flinched back at his anger, “you. you’re what’s wrong. why have you been ignoring me all week? i understand you were busy but not even a text back? and then, i see you in person and you act as if you hardly know me?”

he doesn’t know why he’s lashing out at her, it was as much his fault as it was hers.

“i had the week booked off,” she started explaining, noticing how lando’s face contorted from anger to guilt, “i booked it off so i had a week to move in to the flat and get settled. i didn’t text you ‘cos i was trying to move my stuff in, all whilst getting wifi installed and sorting out my bills?”

now, she was annoyed. she was giving him space, protecting herself from inevitable rejection. she knew she wasn’t being the best of friends, but that didn’t give him the right to turn up at her door and shout at her.

“and you couldn’t tell me that?” he argued back, “takes all of 20 seconds to put that in a text, y/n. i could’ve helped you move your stuff in. look, if i’ve done something to upset you, i’m gonna need you to tell me. ive been racking my brain for a week and not one thing is standing out to me.”

“look, lando. i’m sorry if you felt neglected, but i just needed to sort some things out. i’m here now, aren’t i? been here all weekend?”

“barely,” he snorted in response, anger still running through him.

“barely?” she questioned, “im right here? i did the track walk with you? i was in the media pen for your interviews? ive been here all weekend.”

“no, y/n, you haven’t. work y/n has been here, she’s been doing her job all week. my y/n is no where to be seen.”

her heart fluttered slightly, he claimed her as his own. she had to take a step back and remind herself that it meant nothing.

“i’m sorry lan,” she replied sadly, “i’m trying. i am. it’s just been rough recently.”

“i know, y/n,” he said, his tone softening for the first time in the whole conversation, “but im here for you. i want to be there for you when things get rough - why wont you just talk to me?”

she contemplated telling him the truth then and there, his sad eyes tempting her more and more every second she looked at them.

“i can’t talk to you about this lando. not right now,” she replied, pushing the door to close between the two of them. his foot stepped out, stopping the door from closing fully.

“y/n, i am in love with you. and i don’t know why or when it happened, but i am. and if that makes you uncomfortable, tell me to stop. but i want to be with you, i want to know your past, i want to be in your future. please, y/n, let’s just talk about this,” he pleaded, laying his heart out on the table for her to see.

“goodnight lando,” she said bluntly, slamming the door shut. lando stood still, his blood ran cold, his heart plummeting, and the hallway fell silent. he heard the lock turning on her door, and turned to leave. but then he heard it, he heard her sobs through the door, and the fabric of her t-shirt sliding against the door as she fell to the floor.

something told him to leave, but her door felt like a magnet, pulling him towards it, as he slid down to the floor resting against it. lando heard the way her breathing faltered, air getting caught in the back of her throat as she cried.

“y/n, i know you can hear me,” he started again, turning to speak to the door, “please, y/n. talk to me. what’s wrong? have i ruined this? ‘cos im more than happy to move on and pretend i didn’t say anything.”

he heard her sniff, taking a deep breath in as she did - he knew this was her attempt to regulate herself.

“i can’t lose this job, lando. i spent so long getting to where i am now - i can’t risk losing my job,” she said, her head in her hands and tears continued to spill.

“why would you lose your job over me loving you, y/n? that’s on me.”

“because i love you too,” she replied, defeated.

lando is pretty sure this is both the best and worst moment of his adult life. she loved him back, but she still sat on the floor of a hotel room, crying out to him from behind a locked door. he didn’t reply immediately. he understood her fears, he too had considered the impact on both of them if anything ever happened between the two.

“i love my job, lando. i love working with you, with oscar. hell i love everyone i work with. and i can’t put myself in a position of losing that all because i love you more than anyone else.”

oscar’s words ran through his mind on a loop - fuck HR, worry about the consequences later.

“y/n, please open the door.”

she said nothing, and his heart dropped once more, until he heard the click of the latch, and felt the door move from his back. he looked up at her once more, noticing that she still looked beautiful with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. he scrambled to his feet, taking the girl in a tight embrace as he walked the two of them into the room.

“i didn’t want to leave you that morning, you know.”

“i know,” she said, nodding into his shoulder.

“i just - i panicked, you know?”

she moved back, looking up at him confused - why was he panicking? mclaren were never going to sack their star driver over a workplace relationship.

“but then oscar said something that resonated with me.”

“you told oscar?”

“oscar knew before i did,” he said, shrugging, keeping his hands firmly on her waist.

“what did oscar say?”

“he said fuck HR. at the time, i didn’t see anything wrong with that. i knew you liked this job, but i was so ignorant to think you’d risk your career for me.”

“it’s not that i don’t want to, lan. im scared,” she replied, tears still rolling down her cheeks as her mind plagued with guilt.

“i know, angel,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead again, “i’m sorry for putting this on you. whatever you want to do next, i’m happy to do. if you want me to leave and never talk about this again, that’s fine.”

“i just need some time,” she said nervously, “i need some time to think. that’s not a no, it’s not a rejection. i just need some time.”

he nodded at her, not necessarily happy about the outcome, but happier than he had been all week.

“and that’s perfectly fine. you tell me when you’re ready and we go from there, ok?” he told her, raising a hand to push the hair out her face, before coming back to wipe away the stray tears on her cheek.

“do you want to stay?” she asked, pulling her hands away to twist her fingers around nervously, “we could watch a film?”

“i’d love nothing more,” he replied, smiling down at her.

he threw himself on her bed, as he always did, making sure he didn’t overstep her boundaries. this whole situation was new to the both of them.

“your hair looked shit this week, you need a trim,” she said randomly as she joined him on the bed, as if she’d been dwelling on it for a while. lando snorted, laughing at her abruptness.

“there we go, there’s the y/n i know - my y/n.”

[vinvantae]

heyyy! sorry if this request is vague but i lack your creative genius so how about the grid x reader with forced proximity (like the two being in a situation where they have to be really close outside of their respective wishes not noncon!). if not all drivers, then maybe just Charles, Lewis and Fernando? thanks love!

I am sooooooo sorry this took so long 😭 I’ve been mega busy lately and haven’t had the time to really sit down and write. Hope you enjoy regardless x

Lewis

“There’s no way this is actually happening right now.”

You stared down at the door handle that was currently laying in your palm, no longer attached to the door. Lewis quirked a brow and plucked it from your hand, turning it over in his a few times.

“I did tell them it was coming loose, didn’t realise it was this close to falling off.” He chuckled softly. “Cosy in here isn’t it?”

The room itself wasn’t that small, but now you had no escape - the walls suddenly felt like they were pressing against you. “Why do we even have this room?”

“I think Bono called it a panic room… apparently, just our luck, it’s also soundproof.”

You groaned and flopped onto the small loveseat that was tucked against the wall - letting your eyes cast around the room. “Have you-“

“Text someone? Yeah. They’re trying to find a way in.” His voice was soft as he sat beside you, a strong hand coming to rest on your knee - the heat immoderately rushing to your cheeks.

You’d had a massive crush on Lewis since the day you’d met - but he was levels and levels above you at Mercedes. You were but a simple social media admin, something he personally opted to not take part in very often so your paths didn’t cross often and when they did you found yourself feeling like a giggly teenager.

You could almost hear the cogs turning in his head as he studied you, a gentle sigh leaving his lips.

“…hey uh, feel free to report me to HR if this crosses some major boundary but I never really get to speak to you alone.” He was fully facing you now, his hand still pressed against your knee - thumb brushing across the black fabric of your work trousers. “You fancy getting dinner sometime or something? I’ve seen you around a lot and I just… I honestly can’t get you out of my head.”

“M-Me? Seriously?” You laughed, practically flooded with disbelief. “You’re Lewis Hamilton.”

He smirked. “Yeah, and you’re you… I’d really like to get to know you outside of this world, no Mercedes branding attached. I already like what I do know, I’d like to see more.”

Your eyes flickered across his face for a moment, trying to read him - and he seemed nothing but genuine. You gave him a cautious nod and his face lit up, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“We’re going to have a blast, trust me.” His grin lit up the room.

Before you could speak again there was a frantic knock on the door. “We’re about to take the hinges off! Stand back please!”

“All clear.” Lewis called back, before giving your hand a squeeze. “Ready to get back out there?”

You looked down at your entwined hands and smiled softly. “As I’ll ever be.”

Charles

Their music was quiet now, just softly playing in the background as Kika giggled - her boyfriend twirling her into his arms, a loving smile on his face. When she had insisted on hosting his birthday party at your shared apartment, you forgot to consider who one of Pierre’s best friends was, a man you loathed. And now, as the night rolled on and all of the other guests had filtered out - it was just the four of you left and whilst Pierre and Kika were still enjoying their tipsy states, you and Charles were as stiff as boards, sat as far apart from each other as possible.

Your eyes followed Kika as she stepped away from Pierre, circling the coffee table to approach you, manicured hands landing on your shoulders as she looked into your eyes. “We’re going to bed… you gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You forced a smile, one she was too inebriated to decipher. “I’m not tired, I’ll tidy up a bit.”

“Oh ‘miga. Don’t stay up too late.” She pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple before leading Pierre away, practically purring.

You rolled your eyes, still not giving the man beside you any attention as you stood up - collecting some cups from the table but as he started clearing the coffee table beside you, you couldn’t help but frown.

“You can go home, Charles.” You grumbled. “You don’t live here, y’know. It’s my mess to clear up.”

“Did Pierre not tell you?” He patted the back of the sofa. “This bad boy is my bed tonight.”

“…he did not. Well, I don’t want to keep you up, so I’ll clean tomorrow or something.”

He practically snorted out a laugh. “I don’t want to sleep in this mess either so, let’s just make it quick yeah?”

The two of you moved around each other quietly - you’d met through your best friends and very quickly decided that you didn’t get on. He was pretty and he knew it - he always had some stunning girl draped over his arm; at first you were just annoyed, just as you got to know her, like her even, he’d bin her off for a new model. He just didn’t know the meaning of the word loyalty.

“You uh, still with… uh Colette was it?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “She wanted something more serious, so no,”

Charles watched you roll your eyes as you shoved a paper cup into the bin bag in your hand.

“What’s it to you anyway? Jealous?” He smirked, throwing a balled up napkin in your direction.

“No. I just don’t understand why you hate commitment so much.” You scoffed. “You always find the loveliest girls and then-“

“I don’t hate commitment. I’ve just not found a girl who challenges me.” His voice was quieter with his admission. “They all will literally just agree with everything and anything I say just because they’re desperate to keep me happy… that’s just not… I don’t want that.”

The silence was heavy but you didn’t dare move, especially as he walked around the coffee table towards you - bin bags long forgotten as he gently took your biceps in his hands.

“I… I know you don’t like me… I don’t blame you.” He sighed softly, letting his hands slowly cascade down your arms until his hands finally found yours, his lips curving into a shy smile when you didn’t pull away. “But I like the way you call me out on my shit, and you make me want to be better.”

“Charles…” You felt breathless. “I don’t want to be the reason you treat women right, you should do that because it’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” A soft huff escaped him. “Can we at least maybe start over? Friends?”

Your eyes studied his face - almost as if you were seeing him for the very first time. The way his green eyes still seemed bright under the dim lights of the floor lamps, the way his lips were such a pretty shade of pink… shit.

“Depends… would friends do this?”

Charles stumbled back a little as you kissed him, hands quickly finding purchase on your hips. He groaned as you looped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer.

Oh he was fucked.

Fernando

You don’t think you could be pressed any further against the side of the van if you tried - Fernando’s manspreading had made sure of that. The two of you had somehow ended up in the back together, the third seat home to camera equipment as per the team’s request. It was supposed to be a quick trip, 20 minutes tops, but the roads were completely gridlocked so you found yourself stuck in the Spaniard’s company for a lot longer than you’d planned.

“Oh my god, Fernando.” You hissed, yanking the hem of your jacket out from under his thigh as he shifted. “Do you want to take up any more of my seat?”

The corner of his mouth tugged up into a small smirk. “Sorry.”

You rolled your eyes. “No you’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m not.”

A soft huff left your lips, turning away from him to look out the window - noticing the view hadn’t shifted even a little since you last checked. You groaned. “Have we moved at all?”

“Sorry! It’s completely at a standstill, looks like it’s going to be a while!” The driver called back from the front, sending you an apologetic gaze through the rear view mirror.

Fernando couldn’t help but notice your demeanour shift, fully slumped in your seat at this point - a petulant frown on your face. He always thought you were pretty, but you seemed to have a vendetta against him since day one despite his best intentions. And after a while he just gave him, treating you with the same sass you threw at him.

“Do you want to lighten up a touch, cariño” He teased, leaning a little so he could catch your eye. “This car ride is already going to be bad enough without your attitude.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not exactly my favourite person to be around.”

“And why is that? Hmm?” His voice was patronising, condescending almost, and it made you want to smack him upside the head - but you’d definitely get fired. “Did I forget your birthday or something?”

He was surprised by the dejected sigh that left your lips, your eyes almost wet when you looked up at him. “…You’ve just always made me feel like a dumb kid. I know how to do my job. I’m smart, I’m capable. I’m not even that young! But god forbid I do anything myself. Let me move that for you. I’ve got that. Oh no, I’ll do it myself.”

“You think I did all that because I thought you were incapable?” He had to hold back the laugh of disbelief. “Cariño , that was just me being a gentleman… I was trying to be courteous, to impress you.”

Your cheeks heated. “Impress me?”

“Well, yeah.” This time he laughed softly. “You said it yourself, you’re smart, you’re capable… and, forgive me, you’re very beautiful. I never meant to cause upset or make you think I thought little of you.”

You felt beyond embarrassed - this whole time he was just being nice and you had automatically assumed he was looking down on you.

“…want to start over?” Your voice timid, unable to ignore the way your heart was pounding in your chest.

“I’d like that.” He held his hand out. “Hi, I’m Fernando.”

It was your turn to laugh as you took his hand in yours, his skin warm against yours as you gave it a firm shake - introducing yourself to him. His gaze was different as he looked at you now, his dark eyes no longer full of distaste but something new.

And you couldn’t wait to find out what it was.

[kimingyuslover]

DOKYEOM FIC RECS

f*ck my thighs by @ourdawnishotterthanourday (smut, workplace!au, fluff, slight angst)

Ever since you started working at XTREMEGEAR, you’ve been hopelessly obsessed with Lee Seokmin...god damn Lee Seokmin and his fucking divine thighs. You didn’t think you’d ever stand a chance with him. But when your company forces you to go to a sports and wellness retreat with the whole HR department, you discover that you haven’t been as discreet about your little crush as you thought you were.

please sir by @starryseokmins (smut, college!au, professor!dk)

summary: you fail your favourite professors class and you make a deal with him to help you pass.

best neighbor of all time award by @drunk-on-dk (slight fluff, smut)

✦summary: Seokmin is the best neighbor you've ever had, making it impossible not to fall for his charms.

open wide by @kittyhuii (smut)

synopsis:  It's been months the last time you've been with your boyfriend since he's been on tour with the members, or in other words — it's been months since the last time you’ve gotten off with your boyfriend. Finally, after such a hectic time for your boyfriend, he takes you out for a date. You haven't even gotten out of your house yet you were already fighting unwanted thoughts upon seeing how your boyfriend was dressed. A pair of jorts that perfectly hugs his muscular pair of thighs and a polo shirt with its sleeves rolled up, accentuating his vein-covered arms. You try your best to avert your gaze and survive this date. However, your efforts will soon be in vain as your boyfriend drags you to the nearest comfort room to stuff you with something else other than food. 

tipsy by @onlyseokmins (smut)

epistolary yearning by @himbocoups (epistolary form, historical fantasy, romance | smut)

synopsis: a series of letters, speckled with notes of budding romance and longing, exchanged between a newly married couple separated by seas and the ongoing war the emperor sent his commander to end.

amanda? by @gyupinkys (smut, reader is not amanda, that's just the question dokyeom asked when he first met her)

"DK, I know you're trying to kill me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

crazier for you by @onewmin (smut, husband!dk)

Summary: While getting ready to your husband's work gala, you get startled by how amazingly he looks in a suit.

werewolf!seokmin by @multi-kpop-fanfics (smut)

christmas favour by @xddaengx (romance, smut, christmas, ceo!seokmin, fake dating)

🎄 Summary: You just wanted to avoid your creepy boss, you didn't know you would have to rely on an old friend to be your imaginary boyfriend.

dad!dk by @number1mingyustan (fluff, dad!dokyeom, smut drabble)

professor, who? by @sunnylovespickles (smut, fluff, college!au, professor!reader)

⋆ summary| You’re his muse, he’s your student. You’ve gotten exceptional close to Lee Seokmin, a star student in your photography class. His eye is above else’s and he’s able to recognize the inner beauty in the little things, even you. The artistry becomes stronger between the two of you, exceeding the camera’s lense. 'Through his lens, I saw myself in ways I hadn't before—strong, sensual, and beautifully imperfect.'

pediatrics department by @taeyegu (smau, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers? nurse!seokmin)

“to me, you became the one ray of sunshine that lit up my lonely hours gone by and became the promise of eternity that glitters like a jewel upon your small white palm… ” (me to you, you to me, mido and falasol)

trivia 承 : love by @viastro (enemies to lovers!au, humor, fluff, band!au)

ミ★ synopsis: who thought it was a good idea to be in a band with your sworn enemy? that’s right. absolutely no one.

memories of us by @wongyuuu (angst, fluff)

summary: every night seokmin dreams of his past lifes, when he met and fell for his soulmate countless times.

too sweet by @gyuzgrl (smut, dom!seokmin y'all....)

summary- when Jeonghan brings up BDSM at dinner, your boyfriend is keen on trying it out for himself. you laugh it off, telling him he doesn't have the stomach for it, and he decides to show you just how capable he is in bed.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: I’m doing it!

When you first told Simon that you were pregnant the man froze, he went silent and stepped into the other room. You couldn’t blame him, you two never discussed children and you knew of his past, of the abuse. You were sure that it would take a little for this to hit him. For him to get used to the knowledge about being a father.

It took him a few hours to finally talk to you, for him to apologize and hold you.

“I’m scared….I’m scared I wont be a good father. That I’ll some how be like my father.”

Heart clenching, you hated the thought of the man thinking that low of himself. That he could ever think that he’d be such a terrible father. Placing your hand on his cheeks you smiled. “Simon, you are nothing like your father. You will never be like that horrible bastard. You are a good man, a wonderful man that is a wonderful husband, a man that cares about his team and I know you’ll be a loving father.”

Closing his eyes, Simon slowly wrapped his arms around your waist tugging you in close, your words calming him down.

+•+

Simon seemed to become more protective of you once you became further along in your pregnancy. The man doting on you, taking care of wherever needs you have, going out to grab whatever you might crave.

He loved taking care of you, his fingers now messaging out any knots you might have in your back. “How’s that love?” Waiting for a response, Simon then tipped his head forward to see what was wrong though a chuckle escaped his lips seeing that you had fallen asleep. “Let’s get you to a proper bed.”

Lifting you up, he then carried you off to the bedroom. Gently laying you down he placed a kiss to your cheek then gave your belly a kiss. “Daddy loves you. I do hope you’ll be like your mother.”

Getting himself comfortable, he let his arm wrap protectively around your belly as he slowly fell asleep next to you.

+•+

“Simon”

While he may be on leave, Simon was never one to stop from working as he read out a few reports for Soap to take care of. “Yes love?”

“I want sex.”

Blinking, he placed the reports down. He pinched the bridge of his nose then ran his fingers through his hair. “Again?”

“Yes again! It’s not my fault I’m horny all the time.Bedroom! Now!”

Pushing away from his desk he nodded his head watching you walk though it was more of a waddle now away. “Yes love.”

+•+

It was a long birth, the man never leaving your side.His hand holding yours, know matter how much you screamed he did his best to stay strong, he did his best to reassure you how well you were doing. Though he finally felt like hr could breath again hearing his child cry.

A girl, a beautiful little girl, Simon has cried only a handful of times in his life and once his newborn was placed on his arms he couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

“My little girl, you’re finally here.”

+•+

Simon did his best to make sure you took it easy at home. He would change the diapers, feed her at night because he did not want to wake you. He felt like he was doing a good job at being a father.

Stepping near his daughters crib he slowly lifted her up, she was crying and not wanting to wake you he smiled for a moment cradling her to his chest. Sitting down in the rocking chair she let him grab a hold of his fingers, little sobs escaping her lips.

“Hush now bunny. Pop is gonna sing to you, now I may not have a beautiful voice like your mother but…we’ll my own mum used to sing me this song.”

Waking up to singing on the baby monitor was something you didn’t expect to happen, seeing that it was your husband was the one that was singing. You couldn’t help but melt watching him cradle her close.

Not wanting to interrupt the sweet moment you fell back asleep.

Simon Riley was nothing like his father, he was someone even better.

[forhappysake]

What Lurks Within, Pt. 1

Author's Note: I've never written one of these before, so I hope anyone who reads it can enjoy it.

Content: When the BAU is forced to consult on a case from a distance, the team finds themselves getting frustrated with the lack of communication from local law enforcement. After the unsub escalates, the team prepares to fly to Denver to tackle the case head-on.

Warnings: Typical BAU-level violence, hom!c!de, workplace harassment training (does that need a warning, lol?), mention of prison and Cat Adams, established relationship, all fluffy stuff for now

Consulting on cases from afar was never the BAU’s strong suit. Relying on information provided by local law enforcement, rather than being hands-on at the scene, was a major inconvenience. However, a schedule mix-up over annual training and filing reports required our presence here, in D.C., rather than in Denver. 

Matt and Luke had spent the afternoon pouring over files that arrived from the Denver office while Spencer and I were forced to sit through our annual workplace training. We were the last members of the team to partake in the training, and we weren’t any more excited than the rest of the team had been. We arrived around two o’clock, taking our seats next to each other. Then began the droning voice of the poor HR worker who was forced to reiterate the FBI’s spiel on workplace harassment and discrimination for the seven-hundredth time today. 

I knew my boyfriend, so I knew Spencer wasn’t paying any attention. Both our minds were on the Denver case. Seven men with similar physical descriptions had gone missing over a span of three months. Their bodies, found discarded in local parks, had been bludgeoned beyond recognition. 

It was difficult, of course, to understand what was happening when conflicting reports kept coming in from local law enforcement. Penelope was doing her best to work with their in-house tech teams to confirm or deny reports we received from the local police chief, but it was hard when they rarely answered her requests for more information. Between the lack of communication and the fact that this unsub did not seem to have any plans of slowing down, having to work this case in-house was really taking its toll on office morale. 

Thankfully, the HR meeting only lasted an hour. Spencer and I received our lovely “congrats on completing this training” certificate to put in our files, and we quickly hurried out of the meeting room and back to the bullpen. Matt and Luke sat at their desks, hunkered over files. Luke was the first to notice our entrance into the room, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I don’t understand how I am supposed to build a geographical profile when I have two separate conflicting reports of where the body was found for the same murder,” Luke said. He rose from his desk and rubbed his eyes, “It’s like Denver doesn’t want us to help them.”

Matt looked up from his desk, nodding in agreement. Noticing our presence in the room, he leaned back in his chair. “Thankfully Garcia is doing a hell of a job with victimology, but you two have your work cut out for you unless you get some confirmation on the accuracy of these reports.” He gestured to the files in front of him, “It’s an absolute disaster.”

Luke nodded fiercely in agreement, grasping the file in his hand with frustration. “Reid, just come look at this and tell me if I’m missing something here,” Luke held the file out in front of him. Spencer walked over to Luke, taking the file from him and thumbing through the pages. 

Spencer cleared his throat, eyebrows knitting together, “This page says that Daniel Jones was found dead in a small park behind a swing set, but this page says he was found bound and gagged behind a dumpster at a local coffee shop in Denver.”

Luke flung his arms out in front of him, letting out an exasperated huff. “Exactly! What am I supposed to do with that?” Luke looked utterly defeated, and the look on Matt’s face told me he wasn’t doing any better. 

Trying to take some control of the situation unraveling in front of me, I offered a solution. “Matt, Luke. Why don’t you guys go home for a bit? You’ve been here since four in the morning, and it’s nearly three. Wash up, take a nap, and come back with fresh eyes.” I said it gently, hoping not to offend either of them. 

Matt nodded in response, “I think Y/N has a point, Luke. We could both use a break.” Matt stood up from his desk chair, stretching before turning towards the door. “I don’t know about you, but I’m out of here,” he stated as he turned and headed for the elevator. 

Luke gritted his teeth. “Alright, I guess I could use a break. But I’ll be back, and I swear that if Denver hasn’t given us something we can work with, I’ll-”

“Luke,” Spencer said, cutting him off, “Y/N is right. We’ll hold down the fort here. Just go home for a while.” Defeated, Luke lifted his coat off the back of his chair, tugging it over his shoulders. 

“I hope you guys find something you can work with,” Luke mumbled, “Thanks for taking over, I’ll be back in a few hours.” With that, he followed Matt out of the bullpen in the direction of the elevators, leaving Spencer and I alone. 

I sighed, knowing we had our work cut out for us. Spencer continued thumbing through the file Luke had handed him. He spoke up again, “Which would you prefer, honey,” Spencer gestured to the file in his hand and the file left open on Matt’s desk, “victimology, geographical profile, or trying to contact Denver?”

“Considering everyone else has been trying to get a hold of Denver all day, I’ll take a look at what Matt and Penelope put together on victimology,” I said with a small smile, “You’re better at the geo-profiles anyway.” I lifted the file off Matt’s desk as Spencer nodded, walking over to his desk and taking a seat.  

For hours we poured over the mess of information we’d been provided. Matt was right, Penelope had done a heck of a job piecing together victimology. However, it wasn’t enough to make an educated guess on anything about the psychology of our unsub. Three o’clock quickly turned into ten o’clock, and I could feel my stomach growl. I looked over at Spencer’s desk, and even he looked like he could use something to eat. 

“Hey, Spence,” I said, “have you made any progress over there?” He shifted in his seat, shutting the file and looking up at me. 

“No, not really,” he sighed. “Luke was right. These reports are a mess.” I nodded in agreement and understanding, swiveling in my chair to face away from him. Staring down the hallway, the light from the vending machine caught my eye. 

“Considering neither of us are making any groundbreaking discoveries, I’m gonna run to the vending machine. Do you want anything?” I swiveled my chair back around in his direction, awaiting his reply.

He looked up for a moment, seeming to give it some thought before shaking his head. “No thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate the offer, though.” He gave me a small nod. 

“No problem, brainiac. I’ll be back in a few.” I turned on my heel and made my way out of the bullpen, pausing to look out the window next to the elevator. It was dark out and I wanted nothing more than to go home and wrap myself in a blanket, sinking into bed. “Too bad people decide to commit murder,” I thought out loud. 

Continuing down the hallway to the vending machine, I reached in my pocket to pull out a couple dollars. Popping the bills into the machine and deciding on some off-brand bag of chips, I claimed my purchase from the machine and made my way back to the bullpen. Upon my arrival, I noticed Spencer wasn’t at his desk. I looked around for a moment, curious as to where he had gone, when I saw his mop of curls through the blinds to the briefing room. 

Quietly making my way up the staircase, I approached the door and gently pushed it open. The boy-genius must have had some breakthrough, as he scribbled quickly on the white board, turning back to the meeting table to check one of the files he had brought up to the room with him. Suddenly, a mixed look of frustration and disappointment crossed his face and he sighed in defeat. Whatever lead he thought he had must have been unfruitful, and he wore a somber look as he thumbed through the files once more.

I remembered at that moment why I loved him so much. I stood in awe of the way his curls gently fell over his eyes, the way the veins in his hands became more pronounced when he examined the case file. His eyes, dark as they were, shone a deep brown color in the warm light of the room. I watched as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, dragging a hand through his hair. We were tired, exhausted, and the case showed no signs of coming to a close anytime soon.  

“Spencer,” I said, approaching him quietly, not wishing to disturb his work. He let out a long sigh, looking away from the file. I could almost see the gears stop shifting in his mind, as his thoughts grew smaller in his mind. The dark circles under his eyes were evident. I offered him a small smile, reaching for the case file in front of him, and gently closing it, slipping it under my arm. “All of this will still be here tomorrow, I think we should go home and rest.”

His lips pursed in evident disappointment, turning back to the whiteboard. I tried to make out his scribbles and notes, but his handwriting was so sloppy it was hardly legible. He turned back, resembling Luke’s defeat from hours before. Finally, he nodded in agreement. Standing up straight, he turned his head in circles, attempting to work out the soreness he felt after scanning files for hours. “We’re so close, Y/N, I can feel it,” he murmured as he turned to look at me, “so, so close.” 

Our eyes locked for a moment before I turned my gaze to the ground in front of me. “I know, Spence. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do until the police in Denver get back to us with more information tomorrow.” I leaned back on the meeting room table, crossing my arms in front of me. 

“I know,” he said. He shuffled so he stood in front of me, running his hands up and down my crossed arms. “Should we go home?” Spencer asked, tilting his head and offering me a small smile. 

“We should absolutely go home,” I murmured, leaning into his touch. He wrapped his arms around me, and I could smell his cologne mixed with a hint of coffee. I tucked my head under his chin, accepting this rare act of PDA as a result of our shared exhaustion. I felt his hands rubbing over my aching back, and I couldn’t have been more grateful for his presence. 

“Are you ready to go?” he asked gently. I could feel his voice rattle through his chest, the vibration so soothing. 

“No,” I giggled, “I think we should just stay like this forever.” I pulled back from him a bit so that I could examine his face. His stubble had grown in and stayed since his return from prison, and his eyes looked even more exhausted than usual, but he was still the same Spencer he’d always been. 

I reflected briefly on our relationship. Though we’d only been dating for a year, I felt like I’d been with Spencer my entire life. Of course his stint in prison, his meeting with Cat Adams, and the team’s battle with Scratch had left emotional and physical scars on all of us, Spencer’s sweet demeanor remained unchanged. I admired his resilience, and his ability to see the good in others. 

He brought me back to reality as he smiled again, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my lips which I accepted with more fervor than he had anticipated. He rocked back away from me for a moment, raising his eyebrows. “Where did that boost of energy come from?” he asked, placing his hands on either side of my face. 

“I don’t know, I was just looking at how pretty you are,” I said, bringing my hands to cover his. He looked at me for a moment, cocking his head to the side. 

“You’re very pretty too, Miss L/N,” he said, forcing himself to pull his hands from my face and shove them into his pockets. He cleared his throat, trying to refocus on the topic at hand. “Now,” he started, “how about we both head back to my place and settle in for the evening? I’m no chef, but you and I both know I can order take-out like no other.” He scanned my face for a response. 

“Sure, Spence. That sounds delightful,” I said while looping my arm in his. 

“Off we go, then.” Arm in arm, Spencer and I walked to the elevator. No further words were exchanged, and we stood in comfortable silence as I clicked the button and awaited the arrival of the elevator. 

The ding of the elevator signaled its arrival. Spencer moved forward, preparing to step on, when Luke came barreling off. He’d clearly showered, though he didn’t look much more well-rested. 

“You two aren’t going to believe this,” his serious tone catching both Spencer and myself off guard. He didn’t stop to address us, either, making fast strides towards the bullpen. 

“What is it, Luke?” I asked, turning to follow him as Spencer followed in suit. “Tell us what’s going on.” As we reentered the bullpen, Luke scanned our desktops. Eyes settling on Matt’s desk, he reached for the TV remote, scanning stations until it came to the national news. Cranking up the television volume, Spencer and I listened intently to what the reporter was saying:

“In Denver, Colorado, the bodies of three more young men have been discovered dumped in neighborhood parks across the city within the past week. Officials are warning residents to avoid these areas and to remain vigilant…”

“This guy is all over the place,” Luke said, shaking his head. 

“At least this confirms he’s dumping the bodies in parks,” I shrugged. If the local police department wasn’t going to give us information, the media outlets would provide plenty. 

“He’s escalating,” Spencer said, eyes narrowing at the screen. “Three within the past week is a significant increase from seven over a twelve week period.” Luke and I nodded in agreement. 

“I’ll call Garcia and Prentiss,” Luke said, “maybe now that those god-awful trainings are over, we can finally fly out of here and get our hands on this case.” I responded in agreement as Spencer continued examining the news report. Luke reached for his phone, dialing some numbers before stepping away from Spencer and I, “Hey, Emily. It’s Alvez. I think we need to get to Denver right away…” His voice faded out as he walked farther away from us. 

Spencer’s attention turned from the screen back to me. “So much for takeout,” he said with a sad smile. I put an arm around him, gently rubbing his back. 

“We should’ve known it was too good to be true. Maybe we can get some snacks on the jet. Until then,” I gestured up to the unopened bag of chips I’d discarded on the table of the briefing room, “I’m going to go finish my dinner.” 

Just as I started to walk away, I heard Luke’s voice call out, “Wheels up in 30. The rest of the team will meet us on the tarmac.” I sighed, turning back to look at Spencer who was already shoving files and notepads into his go-bag. I hurriedly grabbed my chips off the table and returned to the bullpen, mirroring Spencer’s frenzied packing. 

After I finished collecting my things, Luke led Spencer and I down to the tarmac. JJ, Matt, Emily, and Rossi soon arrived as well. Spencer’s hand on my lower back guided me up the steps of the jet. Flying had never been my favorite thing. Since joining the team a year and a half ago, I’d only started to get used to it. Spencer, per usual, had been my saving grace, offering me comfort and a hand to hold during the flights. This evening would be no different. 

Settling in our usual seats, Emily offered us each files full of what little information had been confirmed by local law enforcement and media outlets. She drew our attention to the files, gesturing to the one in her hand. “I know we don’t have a lot to go on. I have a feeling we’re going to have our work cut out for us on this one,” she said with a small nod. “I’d recommend you all try to take it easy on this flight, we’re going to be hard at work once we get to Denver.”

As we each nodded in agreement, I felt Spencer’s hand squeeze mine a little tighter. I gently laid my head on his shoulder, trying to take Emily’s advice. “Let’s rest, Spencer. Emily’s right, we’re not gonna do anyone good if we’re exhausted.” I felt his sigh of agreement as he rested his head back against the seat, closing his eyes. I followed suit, allowing sleep to take over. 

Our ignorance, at that moment, was blissful. We had no idea what waited for us in Denver.

TO BE CONTINUED

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me know what you think down below. Happy writing!

[thepringlesofblood]

bonus content for those who read the taz: the 11th hour graphic novel and haven’t listened to the podcast arc

disclaimer: so. I lost my book about 1/4 of the way into this post. so the rest of it is just from memory (I did finish reading it several times, I just no longer have it to refer to). I wanted to post this before the next one comes out though, so here we are. If I find my book, I will attempt to finish up the details for the rest of the book. I cover some basic big things from memory, but nowhere near as detailed as the stuff I wrote down when I had the book to refer to. but in the meantime...let’s go!

by god they’ve done it again. 11th hr is a Lot and definitely the most plot-heavy book so far, PLUS they had to include the first lunar interlude where the boys had individual scenes. the result is frankly beautiful. we’re really hitting critical mass now.

as a result a lot more stuff got compressed, cut, changed, or skipped. i’m going to try to at least point out each difference, though there’s no way I could summarize EVERYTHING that got cut in one post. I’m going to be linking relevant episodes (& transcripts thank u tazscripts) instead, for things that are Just Too Much to include.

as always, this post is intended to be Fun and Cool Bonus Content for people who haven’t listened to the podcast, not a manifesto of stuff they “should have” included or a list of flaws. they had 11+ hours of content to squish into one graphic novel, that happened over a period of months. of course stuff got cut. and it’s stuff that was recorded in 2016. that’s eight years ago. of course some things are going to change.

tl;dr - I liked the dang book. you can be sad something wasn’t in the novel while still understanding why it isn’t. here is a list of the stuff that was changed, skipped, compressed, or cut, presented as cool facts & extra info for gn fans who haven’t listened to the podcast.

spoilers ahoy for the 11th hour, but I’ll try to keep spoilers for the rest of the series to a minimum or at least mark them clearly. At the very end I’m going to put a section of series-spoiler theories and observations, very clearly marked

Before getting into the nitty-gritty, there are a few MAJOR changes from the podcast I want to get out of the way first. This list also includes “stuff I remember but don’t have the book to refer back to on”

Several characters and a whole section of the map were cut.

I think this is the first time that any named, plot-relevant characters have been completely cut. The closest we’ve come so far was the bugbears, but they at least had a cameo in the photo in Lucas’ quarters. Luca, Redmond, and Stonefruit Farms fully don’t exist in the GN series.

the boys meet Redmond in ep 46, pt 6 of the 11th hr arc, having met his brother Luca at the end of the previous episode.

long story short, Redmond was the leader of the purple-kerchiefed ruffians and the brains behind the bank robbery, which The Boys had to go through with so that Redmond would help his lowkey-estranged brother Luca raise the temple of Istus from its decrepit state, as they were both devout priests of Istus. The whole key being in the vault thing is GN-only.

Also, Luca is a skeleton bc he was in the temple when it got rapidly old-ified, but dw he’s fine he’s just a skeleton. he gets better.

Redmond’s motivation for robbing the bank is that as a priest of Istus, lady of fate, he follows his gut feelings and intuition, and he had a strong feeling that whatever was in the vault would be the key to taking down the bubble.

they basically took all of the plot-necessary elements from Luca & Redmond and gave them to Ren. In the podcast, Ren actually blasts some of the purple-kerchiefed ruffians out of her bar after they get too rowdy. She isn’t involved with the robbery in the slightest.

Merle’s Temporal Chalice scene

in the podcast, it’s his arm being chopped off. or more specifically, grabbing a crystal that exploded and made him have to get his arm chopped off. 

Him running out on his kids is played kind of for laughs at first in the podcast. Merle is a heel for a lot longer there, bc the funniest improv is usually not the most ethical improv. They do talk about his life and the fact that he has a family, but the offer made by the chalice is for him to have his arm back

frankly, I think they made the right move in the GN. We get very little of Hecuba in the podcast, and I really liked seeing more of that conflict.

Roswell, my beloved

so, in 2016 when they did the podcast, the McElroys were at, let’s say a different place in their journey of learning about the queer community. which is to say that in the podcast Roswell’s pronouns were wildly inconsistent, in part due to them being a clay construct, in part due to them not being introduced with any pronoun in particular [though Griffin clarifies that he intends for Roswell to use they/them a little later on in the arc], and in part bc the boys just weren’t really familiar with the singular they. they tended vacillate between they/them, it/its, and he/him. we all learn and grow. 

in the book, thankfully, Roswell is 100% they/them. fuck yeah. related. The Boys are significantly worse people to Roswell in the podcast. like, significantly. we’ll get into it as it comes up more, I just want to signpost it here. 

e.g. Taako giving Roswell control of themselves and their command word is a GN original, in the podcast The Boys kind of “junebug” them around for large swaths of the last few episodes. also, a significant number of earlier loops involve them basically negging Roswell into believing that Isaak hired outside help (The Boys) with security bc they weren’t cutting it anymore (rude). I much prefer the geologists gambit they go with in the GN.

Diamonds

Paloma’s prophecies cost money in the podcast, so a lot of The Boys’ shenanigans (and a significant number of loops) are in pursuit of getting cash. which, in Refuge, is diamonds. Some examples: 

Before figuring out that you can’t take objects with you, the boys do straight up take some diamonds from the bank post-robbery. 

Taako gets Ren and a patron of her bar, Ash, to sign up and pay for a seminar/magic lesson he’ll be giving tomorrow (one of my all-time fav scenes). This leads to a touching scene at the end when the bubble finally comes down where Taako gives Ren a little certificate that says “first graduate of Taako’s Amazing School of Magic.”

Magnus tries to armwrestle a guy for cash (Merle’s idea), and though he rolls a 27 Strength check, the Goliath barbarian he’s rolling against gets a 28.

Paloma offers 1 diamond for a small prophecy, 10 for a big one. in the GN they aren’t differentiated, and one small prophecy just doesn’t show up as it’s not needed.

the taz fandom wiki has a handy list of all the prophecies she gives in the podcast

ok! let’s go!

Prologue (the bit before ch 1)

this isn’t in the 11th hour podcast.

the information we get about The Visitor in the 11th hour (from The Boys asking various Refuge residents) is that

Jack and June brought them to Refuge

or, they brought Jack and June to Refuge. We hear both things at different times.

they’re depicted in the statue as having a Red Robe and being kinda broad-shouldered.

Roswell never met them. At first they refer to The Visitor with he/him pronouns, but then mention “I say ‘he’, I didn’t know them”

they tended to keep their face hidden (maybe?)

that’s pretty much it

we learn about this interaction much much much much much later in the podcast, not as a scene that is played out, but abstractly as an event that happened, after we find out who The Visitor is. 

that said, I LOVE this scene’s inclusion and expansion. it makes total sense to me.

Jack is never described as having a sketchbook or being an artist. this will come back later. 

the final scene of the arc in the podcast is instead June giving Magnus some previous designs for the statue of Jack, June, & a Red Robe/The Visitor in the middle of town, with a version where the hood of the robe is down and the face of the Red Robe/The Visitor is visible.

Ch. 1

this is where the podcast starts at episode 1 of the 11th hr. 

boyland’s funeral is very accurate. his comically large family of 400 sons (mentioned in CK podcast) is why the Voidfish lights up like that.

the only real differences I could find were:

in the podcast what is erased is basically boyland’s personnel file. like, a report or write-up of who he is and his work for the BoB. johann writing songs about boyland’s life is new.

the only pronouns ever used for the voidfish in the podcast are they/them, it/its, and occasionally he/him. past taz graphic novels have used they/them. on pg 13 of 11th hr, both Johann and Merle use she/her for the voidfish.

I do not like this, but I have a suspicion as to why, and I don’t like that either. see spoiler-y observations at the end for more.

they merged this scene with a scene from the skipped lunar interlude before CK, where The Boys take cpt. cpt. bane’s “file” to the voidfish to be eaten.

 I described this in my other posts, but the two things relevant here are Magnus putting his hand up on the glass and vibing w the voidfish, and this exhange b/w Johann and The Boys:

Johann: When I, um, can I ask you guys a question?

Magnus: Sure.

Taako: Of course, Johann.

Johann: Are you guys really okay with, with this part of the deal?

Magnus: That we get forgot?

Taako: Which part?

Johann: Yeah, are you cool with like, if you beef it down there, the world just forgets about you?

Magnus: Well, I’m not planning on ever dying.

in the podcast, bc Avi isn’t there, Angus operates the cannons (Avi showed him how before he left). he is extremely nervous about it and about killing them on accident. once they’re in the orb taako casts stoneskin on himself “just in case”, but everything works out totally fine, though avi mentions when The Boys land that the stoneskin should’ve thrown off the trajectory.

the gn keeps the spirit of taako trusting no one without the angus psychological damage by having him just cast a better version of the spell angus cast, and I am a fan.

the leveling up stats aren’t right in the book, as I’m sure every dnd 5e nerd has already tweeted about.

they’re all level 10, so magnus should be a level 8 fighter and a level 2 rogue bc 2+8=10, while the other two boys are still just a level 10 cleric and a level 10 wizard bc they didn’t multiclass.

fantasy costco-wise: aside from the stuff they have in the book (all things they do own in the podcast, though hole-thrower and the feather-weight cuirass were from the fantasy gachapon), merle picks up matthias the living grimoire, magnus gets the magnetic charge and the tarantula bracelet, and taako gets the arcane trickster’s glove (no wiki page rip it just gives you some arcane trickster powers) and mockingbird gum.

they beat up the baby worms more before letting them go, it’s a full battle

Ch. 2

in the podcast, when they go through the barrier, they find themselves in an empty white space where they see an old woman holding the cup. she says “It’s you!” with recognition upon seeing them, and then says “find me” before they wake up.

important: every time the boys die in the podcast, they go back to this space briefly before waking up.

sometimes the woman gives a cryptic message, sometimes not, and in their later loops, the woman collapses, breathing heavily.

we find out in the end that this woman is June - she has a whole extended de-aging sequence later that they probably cut so poor Carey didn’t have to do a bajillion character models for June at different ages just for a few panels of dramatic effect.

pg 36 - to head off any dnd 5e nitpickers, Magnus does not have proficiency in rustic hospitality, since that’s not a skill. Magnus does have a character feat called “Rustic Hospitality” that he chose at level 1.

claiming to have proficiency in things you can’t possibly have proficiency in is a longstanding goof both in taz and among people who play dnd 5e in general, because it’s funny.

in the book, they intercut each loop with a scene from lunar interlude 3, and it works really really well. we’ll get to those scenes as they come up.

Is this the first time someone uses he/him for The Red Robe in the gn series? (Roswell says ‘his’)

in the podcast Roswell mentions having never met the visitor, and comments “I say “he”, but I don’t know.”

in the GN, when The Boys tell the director about The Red Robe in CK they use they/them pronouns and so does the director, but after this, even @ the end of the book after Taako guesses that The Red Robe they’ve been talking to isn’t the same Red Robe from Refuge, he and the other boys continue to use he/him for The Red Robe.

“Mystic Analysis”

he just did an arcana check in the podcast, I don’t think Taako had Identify as a spell, which is what the DND equivalent would be. 

they also don’t figure out that Roswell has a command word until much later, during the Diary Of Sheriff Isaak scene.

Griffin basically says “[they’re] an earth elemental, with a bird on [them], and earth elementals don’t generally have birds on them, so maybe it was just nearby when the spell was cast and got caught up in it”

Cassidy

in the podcast, she’s in jail for blowing up the temple of Istus, which she didn’t do.

GN Ren mentions later on that the temple got “un-built” which references how in the podcast the temple suddenly aged a matter of centuries in seconds, so from the outside it looked kind of explode-y. and cassidy is known for blowing shit up, so she was blamed. she also theorizes that it might be racism due to her half-orc heritage.

in the GN, cassidy’s arrested for trespassing on the closed mines, which she absolutely has done. it makes more sense, and eliminates a major plot point they cut from the book

she is otherwise pretty much the same, I love her very much

Paloma pretty much stays in her cottage in the podcast rather than sneaking around.

the fantastic exchange of “you guys have been here 45 minutes, what the fuck did you bring with you?!” “you should see what we can do in an hour!” is 100% verbatim from the podcast.

in the podcast, Ren is dead the first bank fire (and in most subsequent bank fires). she also wasn’t one of the bandits, or involved with the bank robbery at all

in fact, in the loop where The Boys were doing the bank robbery, she unexpectedly came in, recognized Taako, and almost blew their cover.

With so little time left on the clock, Taako cast Banishment on her to keep her safe and out of the way, but she made her saving throw - so it didn’t work, but she knew Taako tried to cast some spell on her, and there was a somber moment of her falling backwards trying to get away from him, tears in her eyes.

look it’s a good lil character moment

I can’t emphasize enough how brutal the first description of the bank fire and subsequent world-ending is. Griffin pulled 0 punches.

Magnus rushes in and he describes the scene like “you see a guy, who looks like this. they’re dead. you see two guards. they’re dead. you see a woman holding a tray of diamonds. she’s dead. you see this person, also dead. you see a dwarven bank teller. she might be alive, but it’s hard to tell, and if she was she is on the brink of death”

I think the boys, brogden, and maybe one of the purple-kerchief ruffians (which is how they are described in the podcast) survived the first one, and everyone else died in that bank. it felt so brutal listening to it the first time because you (and the boys) didn’t know about the loop yet, so it was just. horrifying.

I love how they pulled in off in the GN!!! the clock hands are just *chef kiss*

just before Griffin describes the destruction of Refuge, Travis interjects, “Ditto, did you base this on Majora’s Mask?”

while Griffin does not respond in the moment, he later confirms that Travis is correct.

Griffin’s description of the fiery deaths of The Boys: “And you’re being crushed by the shattered earth as it compresses down into the ground. And you hear an anguished scream come from something massive and furious, and all three of you have died…And there’s something about the dying that feels familiar.”

“and then you wake up.” hardcut to end of episode music. v epic.

Ch. 3 (i s2g they’re not all going to be this detailed the major plot differences are mostly out of the way now)

as mentioned, the scenes between each loop in the gn happen in Lunar Interlude III (transcript) (episode) - each of The Boys got to choose a scene to have in between arcs and Justin chose to have Taako give Angus magic lessons.

they’re all more abstract in the eps (Taako establishes a recurring time and place to give Angus lessons, and we get scenes from earlier vs later lessons, various shenanigans, etc.) but the major points are actually pretty much the same, just condensed into one scene in the book.

also taako giving magic lessons in his quarters makes 100% sense, but in the podcast they did it in the cafeteria, and that’s where the LUP is burned into the wall. significant? potentially.

in the podcast angus had made some macarons for taako but forgot to flavor them (he nailed the texture though which is hard to do in a macaron) so he asked taako to prestidigitate them better and then scorching ray happened and blasted em to shreds.

LUP. dude. I thought it was an acronym when I first heard it, bc in the podcast, Griffin says “So your staff, you lost control of it and you blasted the letters “L-U-P” into the wall.” Seeing it in cursive, all gorgeous and capitalized like a proper noun? knocked me the fuck out.

another dnd 5e tiny detail: in the gn, the description for Angus’ first wand says “wonderful stocking stuffer for the young sorcerer in your life”

i could have a whole conspiracy board about this.

skip this if you’re not super into dnd 5e mechanics

the difference (in dnd 5e) b/w a wizard, a warlock, and a sorcerer is:

wizard: gets magic from study and practice - taako is a wizard bc he studied spellcraft and learned how to do it.

warlock: gets magic from making a deal with something/someone far more magical than themselves - garfield is a warlock, so his magic stems from a deal he made with something (the devil??)

sorcerer: has innate magic within them.

this could come from a myriad of places, but usually from heritage or bloodline - maybe your great-grandfather was a god or a dragon or a demon or a djinn or something, or maybe your mom touched a weird rock as a kid and got magic powers that she passed onto you when she had you.

in the podcast, angus is only ever referred to as a wizard. makes sense - regular boy + magic training from taako = wizard boy.

but if he’s a sorcerer, the magic really was in him all along. is taako teaching him to channel it? does he know?

this also fits with a weirdly popular headcanon the taz community had for a while about angus secretly being a silver dragon (in dnd, color = different abilities, diff personality, etc, and silver ones like to shapeshift and pretend to be humans sometimes).

“draconic bloodline” is one of the most common sorcerer backgrounds - it basically just means ‘a dragon got involved at some point in this family tree, so now you can cast ray of frost’.

hmmmmmmm

end conspiracy theory

It is at this point that I lost my damn book. so. I’m just gonna post this bc the next graphic novel is coming out soon and I want to post it before then. If i find my book I’ll finish it up. If you have post-chapter 3 differences you noticed that aren’t already covered, feel free to reply/reblog with them!

Spoiler-y Observations Below!

CAUTION: contains spoilers for the rest of taz balance!

*voidfish speculation: my suspicion is that they’re using ‘she’ for the voidfish to foreshadow that they have a baby, so that makes them a “mother”? i call bullshit, but i’ve heard it used before as a justification for misgendering an enby who gives birth. obvs the voidfish is not a human being, people can have multiple pronouns, it’s not a 1:1 comparison, but i for one (as an enby myself) really liked the voidfish using they/them and feel oddly betrayed at them suddenly changing the pronouns. fingers crossed that there’s a different reason.

"what am statue” is low-key foreshadowing since magnus says it

merle knowing what relativistic time dilation is

LUP was burnt into the wall in the cafeteria in the podcast - lucretia would’ve seen it for sure. so they put it in taako’s room this time...

aw no ‘sorry about the cookies little man’

In 5 or however many years when gn series ends, someone should do a poll of people who only read the graphic novels and see if any of them pronounce “Lup” weird since they’ve only ever seen it written down.

hero wreathed in flames 0.0 I hope Joaquin is still there in the finale but I like the duality here

BATTLEAXEPROFICIENCYEASTEREGG

SNEAK PEEK AT THE HUNGER SNEAK PEEK AT THE STARBLASTER AAAAAAAA

257 - ‘I know him better than you could ever imagine’ because he created you? Oof ouch ow my bones. also....the magnus that made the cup was a very different person from magnus now. it’s not what Julia would want - the cup never met julia, obvs, and does not know the ways she changed him for the better.

Bottom of 327 - sweet Angus boy are you drawing something on that orb?

Istus is like you’ve been serving me your whole lives without knowing it in the podcast - maybe a bit too much foreshadowing for the GN

[heartlaboratory]

Just a drawing here, with a dark story.

Nicole and Yskah, toghether with some other friends, in order to find money to improve themselves at the university, decided to film and sell some NSFW videos on some sites.

Having access to the correct equipment and with the knowledge provided by their work at the university, they're able to always produce high quality materials.

One day Nicole and Yskah decide to do something extreme: a real resuscitation session (something similar to what they recently saw in a movie but this time for real).

One night they sneak into the Life Science department depot, the perfect place to realize their video given the amount of equipment they can find there. They have ECG monitors, special cameras with AI detectors and their laptop to define all the details for their movie. A video that will surely sell a lot.

They both hook up to an ECG machine (with their names changed for privacy reasons) and decide by chance who will be the one whos heart will be stopped. The coin decides for Nicole while Yskah will have to restart her heart after 2 minutes from the arrest. "Don't be worried - Yskah says - with this jewel I'll restart your heart... in an heartbeat". She's holding with her hands the pads of a new manual defibrillator they found in the depot. To stop Nicole's heart, Yskah will administer her an important dose of a strong negative chronotropic drug they stole from the pharmacy lab.

Yskah prepare the IV cannula on Nicole's right arm and the video starts with her lying down on a surgical bed they found there. They're both completely naked in front of the camera and even if what they're doing is extremely dangerous they're both quite relaxed. Both their heart rates are in the hundred with Nicole's one a little higher (understandable given the situation) but they trust each other so they feel both confident.

"I'm going to administer you the drug now, just lay down your head, close your eyes and relax". Yskah says.

The syringe with the drug is inserted into the cannula and the compound is slowly released into Nicole's bloodstream. "It feels so cold" she says.

At first nothing happens, Nicole's HR seems to remain unchanged with the beeps from the machine being strong and steady as they were before. Suddenly a "Uuuh" from Nicole's mouth is heard. "It's kicking in, my chest has become so heavy" she says. On the monitor 102 bpm becomes 85, then 72 then 61, then they fall down to 45. Nicole squezes her eyes, the sensation she's feeling is terrible. The slower Nicole's heart becomes the deeper her breathing becomes. The time between two beeps seems now infinite.

Nicole's body seems completely relaxed now, her head turns on the right as she passes out... 32 bpm, then 23... 15... 7... zero. The timer on the screen starts: Nicole's heart has been stopped.

With the two minutes lag before starting the resus procedure it's now Yskah's heart that's changing its pace. She looks really concerned and her heart rate increases visibly. She's holding the defib pads and her hands are shaking. Those two minutes are never ending to her, just standing there near Nicole looking at her motionless chest. The continuous beep from Nicole's monitor is covered by the hammering from Yskah's one.

The two minutes elapse and with a trembling voice Yskah says: "I'm going to restart her heart now!". She places the pads on Nicole's chest: one under her right clavicle, the other on her left side, next to her left breast, exactly like the manual says. By placing the pads she looks at Nicole's bare chest, the idea that inside of it her heart is not beating and she's responsible for this is like a stab in Yskah's heart. Her HR jumps to 156 bpm and as she delivers the first charge she starts crying.

As the electricity enters Nicole's chest her upper body jumps for a second over the bed to fall down on it right after. 164 bpm for Yskah who looks completely unable to handle the situation. Nicole's flat line on the monitor shows the peak given by the defibrillator, a small beat follows it and then... nothing again.

"Nicole!?" she says just before starting crying even more when she sees that nothing changed on her monitor.

The defib is ready again, Yskah re-places the pads on Nicole's chest, her skin has become so cold and pale. She delivers the charge and again the jump, again the peak, again a small beat... and again nothing. "NICOLE! - she screams - wake up!" But Nicole's line remains flat.

Yskah is now in panic, her hands are shacking so much and her heart rate goes over 180 bpm. She has so much adrenaline in circle that her heart starts skipping like crazy and everything is clearly visibile on her monitor.

Minutes pass as, in total despair, each time the defib recharges, Yskah deliver a schock to Nicole's chest and each time nothing changes: nothing more than a jump, a peak and a small beat from Nicole body.

Nicole has been in cardiac arrest for more then 20 minutes now, a time so long that even the small beat after the shock disappears.

"NICOLE, WAKE UP! WAKE UP! - Yskah screams and cry - WHY IT'S NOT WORKING!?". She has delivered so many shocks to Nicole, trying so many different places for the pads, there are now burnings all over her chest. She was so panicked she hasn't given to Nicole a single chest compression since the resus started.

A strong stimulant administered directly into Nicole's heart in the first minutes of this thing would have maybe saved her, counteracting the drug Yskah gave her but they completely ignored it while preparing for the video.

The video stops with the security guards breaking into the depot attracted by the shoutings. The scene they see is surreal: two naked women in front of cameras, hooked up to ECG machines, one standing with defib pads in her hands screaming, shouting and crying, the other one lying in front of her on a bed, pale, life-less in a clear state of cardiac arrest.

Nicole's life ends at 29 for a "stunt" gone wrong.

Take home messages:

-for not properly trained personnel, training disappears in time of need.

-do not improvise things or try "strange" things.

-a defibrillator does nothing if the heart is not fibrillating.

[thebunniesgrim]

helluva boss’ humor really trips me up sometimes  

(long post like really long post i go off)

Because sometimes it plays with hell's society and makes funny jokes like the HR joke in Spring Broken. One thing that sticks out like a sore thumb is when it makes jokes or points fun at prudes in the universe. Which btw I don’t think this bad or anything it’s just something that pulled me personally out of the show. It’s still funny at the end of the day but!  

Like the normalcy of death, swearing, sex, innuendos and all that. like jokes that would make you or me pause for a second wouldn’t be such a deal to them and vice versa is funny. Honestly the M&M’s being in a loving relationship in hell as a joke is funny  

But the thing that trips me up is the way some demons in universe react to the jokes doesn’t make any since. I understand their reaction is a joke, but why did they have that reaction anyway? for example  

In the LooLoo Land episode a good joke was when Octavia said she was going to be sick then Moxxie panics going through different medications and pulls out a bunch of syringes full of morphine just to casually throw them into a baby stroller when Octavia says she wasn’t really sick. Hilarious and it shows the human and demon side of moxxie love it. Although in the same episode Blizto says he isn't a day hooker and the lady walking by judges him and he calls her a prude. Funny yes! But why does she care like girl he has a whole gun and that’s what you choose to be concerned about? Ok. I understand her being shocked is the joke but why is she? In a place where being a hooker is possibly the most normal thing to them as being lawyer is to you or me. Why such a strong reaction?  

(Stolas has green screen arms lol)

Even the newest Mammon ep in Fizz’s “two weeks' notice or whatever it's called” song when he say “spending life bent over with your fist in my ‘A’” and the crowed is like shocked or put off by it like sure maybe they just weren't expecting it but he literally says bent over and even shakes his little imp ass at them while setting up the joke. It could have also been that they were surprised he censored himself. I don’t know, do you know?  

Also, I must say hell born demons don’t have to be always ok with sex jokes. A little verity never hurts anybody. just Like Moxxie not very violent or having his limits is fine and also Striker being uncomfortable or not liking that everyone makes sex jokes at his expense is kind of funny it's of the same caliber of funny that the M&M’s gimmick has. I also think he doesn’t like the sex jokes because he doesn’t have control of the situation (or Stolas, Moxxie, and Fizz just aren't his type who knows lol) he was more than ready to diddle Biltzo’s holes if it meant he’d join Striker. Also, he didn’t seem to mind the other imps fawning over him even if he did kick that one girl in the face. Kind of like a you can look but don’t touch kind of thing. He likes or deals with the jokes until he can't control the situation and it's like come one dude, I'm trying to kill you cower before me plz :( you feel me? Like that makes since because it can be explained away with, their character but seeing as it’s not a social norm so when others who we don’t know and are supposed to show the status quo do it, it’s a little bit weird you know?  

This also applies to Helluva Boss in general not just jokes. It’s honestly hard to tell what's allowed in hell and what isn't sometimes even for jokes because you know how a lot of people were weirded out at the kid being at the clown pageant and everyone is like “dude its hell they don’t have the same type of morals as we do” but also have people in the show react to sex or taboo stuff like it's weird you know? Like yes, I expect hypocrisy in the world of hell like a whole “rules for thee but for me” kind of thing. It is hard to stay true to that when the rules aren’t enforced?  because one second, you’ll have Loona and Blizto making fun of Moxxie for being “fat”, but you also want me to care when Mammon calls Fizz fat. I'm supposed to take Loona beating up Blizto as a joke but once Stella raises a hand to Stolas, I'm supposed to be like oh no abuse! 

Speaking of abuse. Mammon is just Blitzo cranked up to eleven. They are practically the same character given what the show tells us. What Blitzo does to Moxxie is the same thing Mammon does to fizz only cranked up to nine. Mammon says things that make Fizz worry I.e. “ready to reclaim your win another year... I saw your competition and it's pretty stiff, right? You are going to have try extra hard” remember in “The Harvest Moon Festival” ep where Blizto says “now just remember your rep with the in laws is on the line here so, no pressure at all you totally will not make an ass of yourself in front of everyone important in your life” he totally did that on purpose. How about when Mammon calls Fizz a “a bit chungo”? blitzo in seeing stars “you know it wouldn’t kill ya to put a salad in your body every now and then” and he says it meaner. He even encourages Loona to also call moxxie fat so while it’s still Loona doing it Blizto not telling her to chill out or something and there by condoning it, but he has the nerve to clutch his stupid little pearls (also blitzo isn't Wareing his mom little necklace thing in ep) when Mammon does the same thing.

The fuck is that face for you slimy little bitch?  

Mammon says sexually charged stuff to Fizz that is very obviously making him uncomfortable but disregards it like its nothing? “The more they’ll want a piece of you they can home and fuck! Don’t you want that Fizzy? to be fucked?” Then Fizz said no, and he disregarded it. Blizto in Murder Family, Harvest Moon, Truth seekers, Ex's and Ohs when he makes a big deal about someone having sex with both Moxxie and Millie and then making a big deal at the fact that he, Moxxie and Millie have had sex with the same person also maybe Ozzie's when he says he watches the M&M get it on but it's hard to gaze if Moxxie’s reaction was surprise, disgust or both. Mammon calls Fizz a “a stupid little [HONK]” Blizto calls Moxxie “a fucking disgrace” in Unhappy Campers but to be fair I make it an active effort to forget that ep is canon so. Mammon puts Fizz in a situation he can't handle, which leads to a panic attack. Blizo in the first ep Murder Family where Moxxie doesn’t want to kill Martha because he doesn’t want to kill a mother and ruin a family and is openly hesitant and uncomfortable about it causing him to have a small panic and mess up the mission at first. Mammon tells fizz to get his shit together with the underlying threat of firing, terminating, or worse. Murder family Blitzo says “But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and your wife”. Both BLizto and Mammon treat Fizz and Moxxie all buddy buddy when they do stuff, they want but when they don’t comply or might not do something they don’t like they get mean or aggressive. They only main differences is that Moxxie can talk back to Blizto in a way and fizz can't. Also, Fizz actually quits, and escapes his horrible boss.  

I know that the pilot isn't cannon but it’s the blueprint of the characters and Blizto being abusive to moxxie sexually and verbally being a constant throughout the pilot and the canonized show is just... icky 

The show will tell me that imps and hellhounds are at the bottom of society but also have them stand up to the deadly sins like it no big deal. Loona tried to fight Beelzebub, Crimson tried to bribe and blackmail Asmodeus, Fizz stands up Mammon (as he should but Mammon could have literally tuned him into a smoothie) like the deadly sins are the next things to gods and these low-level nobodies are trying to square up. Not only does it make the deadly sins look like total wusses, but it also makes hellhounds and imps look more powerful than they are. Striker saying royals' step all over imps and treat them horribly and other than stella literally throwing Pringles and referring to him as “this one”

but Stolas literally uses Pringles as like a phone stand in Seeing Stars so.... 

The only ones who we’ve seem treat the imps like that on a regular basis are other non-royal hell born demons like the twins in Mammons ep. The lady and her kid in the doctor's office in western energy, the hellhound bodyguards in The Circus and even other imps like how Millies family treat Moxxie because he’s traditionally strong, or how striker thinks that he and blizto are far better then they’re own kind. Sure, the imps are butlers, purse accessories, and work on farms to feed the other rings. Other than the farm thing other demons do too from what we’ve seen. Also, from what we have seen, the royals are so detached from imps it seems like Strikers’ biggest problem is other demons themselves. The only royal we see talk down to imps is Stolas. Stella, Andrealphus, Paimon, never says much about them or even addresses them in any kind of way that’s outright negative, it’s more or less just plain indifference. I mean even the 7 deadly sins (that we’ve met so far) don’t say anything about imps in a derogatory way mammon doesn’t, Bee calls Blitzo “Imp boy” but not in a mean way, and Asmodeus call Moxxie “little imp” which seems more teasing than mean.  

Ok look if I'm to take the hell hierarchy seriously then please play by your rules. I-ok so like are the sins a force to be reckoned with or not? Because they just seem like regular demons but bigger. You're telling me the second blizto get nabbed by the DORK agents Stolas is out here cracking necks and summoning himself in blood to save him 

But nothing was done to save fizz?  

“It was hostage situation” ok and? Asmodeus is a sin he could have pulled a Stolas and posseted one of Crimsons goons and shot or incomposite striker and crimson. You have almost infante power and you can't save your boyfriend and work colleague? And if demons can't be possessed then send Stolas in exchange for the crystal. Crimson doesn’t know about Stolas, and it would surprise him stolas can turn into his big bird form in hell and did in Seeing Stars. ALSO why is everyone just standing up to and trying to pick fights with the Sins? Like guys I get it I really do but please realistically you're going to get smooshed like bug 

I'm constantly being told that Stolas and Blitzo can't be together while Beelzebub and Asmodeus can be with Vortex and Fizz. With no real in show reason as to why? You can address its hypocrisy all you want but you still never gave a reason as to why one is ok and other isn't. Stolas is Royality and can't date outside his rank? And the 7 deadly sins are of a different rank than him so it's different. How so? Why does Asmodeus need it to keep him and fizz a secret? if a god was dating a regular person, what could you possibly do about it? Also, if Asmodeus needs to keep his relationship a secret, then why doesn’t Beelzebub? If it because Beelzebub’s relationship corresponds to her sin how so? How is dating someone not of your rank gluttonous or indulgent? Unless Bee is a serial dater, and I don’t think she is how so? Also, Asmodeus dating Fizz does correspond to his sin he’s the over seer of lust and lust doesn’t stop at rank or class. If them being romantic is the problem, then they could lie and tell everyone that him and fizz are just fuck buddies or they're in an open relationship where they are ok with each other sleeping around but they don’t do it. They’re already business partners; it wouldn’t be a stretch if the literal ruler of lust would want to sleep with someone regardless of their rank and whether or not they work for them. Plus, they do openly say they are fucking each other while Ozzie's workers are near so them having sex isn't the problem.  

Ok so like ya’ll know the live action Grinch movie? And you know that one part where the grinch is the holiday chair mister and the who's are giving him a bunch of food even after he's full and his face is full of food, but they keep shoving more in his mouth? Yeah, that is what watching helluva boss is like sometimes you know?   

It's like a barrage of information or nothing 

Anyways  

this show is ride and then some lol granted this doesn’t really make or break the show for me honestly, it's just that the more the show tells me one thing it’ll go through hell (heh) to make it, so it doesn’t matter anymore, and it only brings up more questions. Like if something isn't allowed then make it so don’t just tell me oh that’s not allowed but is but it’s a problem but I'm not going to tell you why or what the problem is just trust me look at the cute couples don’t look anywhere else don’t worry about it  

I know you’re probably asking yo why are you questioning it I'm just a confused fan and I want the show I like to make since is that such a tall order? 

[sylvies-chen]

Ok I wanted to write something that was dialogue only and about the squad finding out about Chenford so I gave it a shot. It lowkey turned out way longer than I expected it too though (and just light and goofy which I love) so it’s under the cut.

Tim: Attention everyone, we have an important announcement to make. Lucy and I are dating.

Lucy: *gasp*

Tim: Baby you already knew that

Lucy: I know, you just said it very dramatically!

Angela: *chuckling* pay up, Harper

Nyla: Ugh, alright *slaps a twenty dollar bill into Angela’s hand*

Tim: Woah woah woah, hang on—

Harper: Honestly it’s my fault for taking you up on that double or nothing—

Tim: You two have been placing bets on my relationships?

Angela: Of course not, don’t be ridiculous, Timothy!… Just your relationship with Lucy.

Tim, exasperated: Unbelievable.

Grey: Well, I can’t say we didn’t all see this coming, it’s honestly—

Nolan: Wait, you guys are dating? When did that become a thing?

Angela: You seriously didn’t notice?

Celina: If I’m being honest I thought you two were already together. I got some really strong soulmate energy off of the two of you.

Nyla: Y’know Celina, why don’t you put those weird psychic skills of yours to the test and enter the betting pool. How long do you think they’ll wait before moving in together?

Celina: Ehhh, it’s hard to say. Eight months, maybe? A year?

Angela: Ha. Anything more than six months is a scam. I’m betting a crisp hundred on four. They’ve got it bad for each other.

Nyla: I don’t know, I think six and a half. Lucy’s smart enough to make sure that man cleans his towels before making the big decision.

Lucy: I’d like to put in a bet for 6 as well actually—

Tim: *whacks her on the arm* What the hell?

Lucy: What? We might as well cash in on this. It’s going to happen anyway.

Nolan: Sorry, am I the only one who’s still baffled at how on earth Tim and Lucy managed to get together and I somehow missed it?

Everyone, at the same time: YES.

Grey: I’ll go get the HR paperwork then. Congratulations, you too. I know you both to be fine officers who would be capable of maintaining a professional environment in spite of your personal relations.

*Everyone leaves*

Tim: *turns to Lucy with a smirk* So only six months, huh?

Lucy, blushing: Idiot.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Have ypu read HR where the heroine is as thristy as the hero? I love the hero being so down for the heroine but there is something so good about a heroine being all "look at that beautiful mouth, those long legs and very stromg arms" he looks so hot trying to to take my virtue away from me kind of thing

Yes, definitely!

In A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh (which is a second chance romance--he left her at the altar) the heroine is, however reluctantly because she wants to stay mad at him, obsessed with the hero's bigness, his thighs. At one point he's in a toga for this little skit they're doing and she's basically a trembling mess. It's great.

When a Girl Loves an Earl by Elisa Braden has a heroine who's obsessed with the big, strong, silent Scottish hero (though, because he's kind of been trained to disguise his accent, she doesn't know that he's Scottish until they're literally on the way to get married lol). He's very resistant at first for Reasons, but she makes her obsession and lust super known.

The Temptation of a Highlander by Elisa Braden also has this, another big Scottish heroine. But this one is arguably funnier because she's always accidentally saying double entendres to him, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, because she's just too horny and it keeps slipping out. Like "haha you're such a big man, you could probably break me in half" and everyone at the dinner table is like O_O.

Rules for a Proper Governess by Jennifer Ashley has a lower class heroine who sees the upper class (stern lawyer, much older than her) hero and becomes besotted with his sternness and coolness, and basically claws her way into becoming his kids' governess. She's SOOOO into him. And fortunately, he, very guiltily, is soooo into her. The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie is also really good on this level, Beth writes in journal about how into Ian she is lol.

Olivia and The Masked Duke by Grace Callaway has a very young heroine who sees the hero *doing things* to another woman and decides she must have him. He's her father's friend and is like "noooo" (yeeeees). This is a lot of Grace Callaway books--I would also recommend Glory and The Master of Shadows on this level.

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Shupe also has this, but the age gap is much bigger (for Olivia it's like... she's 18-20 and he's 32; this this book she's 20 and he's like 43 lmao). He's her dad's bestie and is all "no nope not happening" but she PERSISTS.

The Hunter by Monica McCarty has this; the hero is sent in to basically extricate the heroine (who is disguised as a nun) from a spy mission, and she becomes determined to have him. The Arrow has this even moreso; the hero is the heroine's ward after he rescued her from an attack that left her orphaned when she was 15ish. Years later, he returns when she's around 20 (he's 30ish) and tries desperately to resist her while she pursues him.

I think The Raven Prince (widowed heroine, she's his employee, she gets aggressively angry when he visits a brothel and begins to disguise herself as one of the sex workers in order to get into bed with him) and The Leopard Prince (she's an heiress, he's her steward, they begin an illicit affair) by Elizabeth Hoyt will give you these vibes.

Lord of Temptation by Lorraine Heath has a heroine who initially is resistant to the rakish piratical hero, but quickly succumbs despite being kinda uptight, because he DOES IT for her. They start an affair even though she's on the brink of getting engaged to another man; she's super obsessed with him and he slips into her room a lot.

I gotta say, my current reread (re-listen?) to Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath.... really has this, lol. Like, Jack and Olivia are very enemies to lovers, but beneath that she is EXTREMELY physically attracted to him from the jump, even though she super doesn't want to be and is UPSET about it. Like, she's just watching him, thinking about what he looks like in the bath, lingering over his body, getting drunk and asking him to kiss her. She had a very withholding marriage before, and he really awakens her just by existing lol.

Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks is charmingly this. The hero and heroine have an arranged marriage, but she's deaf and nobody realizes this so they think she's "daft". The hero doesn't want to sleep with someone who doesn't have the capacity to consent (give him a medal I guess?) so he's like "nah she and I are sleeping in separate bedchambers, I am not touching her even though she's so pretty" and she's so insistent on this NOT being the case that she like forcibly drags her trunks into his room and he finds her sleeping in his bed, waiting for him lmao. It gets much worse for him when he finds her bathing in the river and she realizes he's into it.

Obviously, Sierra Simone's Ivy Leavold trilogy of novellas is super erotic, and Ivy Leavold really wants to get with her employer from jump lol.

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe. Nellie and Lockwood are enemies at first, but they're also equally physically obsessed with each other, lol.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Just rewatched Gran Turismo and like... listen... Envision with me

Jann - Steve Harrington

Jack - Hopper (duh 🙄)

Antonio and Matty - Eddie (British like J Quinn. Still trailer Park kid but damn good at the GT game which he bought the gear for with a mix of honest work and his illicite substances side-gig. Had a pipe-dream of being in the music industry but then the GT event happened that he saw as his chance to make something of himself and pay his uncle back for taking him in. He's devastated when he gets eliminated but is snatched up as part of a team for another racing company thingamajig. He bought his uncle a nice flat that he also stays at and is talking with his garage band about maybe seriously pursuing music in his off-season or driving for a few years for the massive paycheck while putting feelers out and only doing music full-time if a label is interested.) and Billy (Australian like Dacre. I know some of y'all hate that boy with a passion but bear with me okay? I have my reasons. Victim of abuse from a parent who used the GT event to get himself and later his little sister out of that situation. And turns out said little sister is Mad Max, an online gaming friend of the Party's. He's rough around the edges at first but that's because this is his best shot at escaping his abuser and saving his sibling from the same fate. They're both out from under Neil's thumb by Les Mans and he's happier, more relaxed, just softer in general and great with the kids when they start harassing Eddie and Billy about being at the GT camp with Steve)

Audrey - Robin (Platonic with a Capital P 😘)

Persol, Coby, assorted friends - The Party and Nancy and Jonathan and them

Steve and Lesley Mardenborough - Mr. and Mrs. Harrington (make them shitty parents all around for the sake of fic, no redemption. Steve had been disowned for being queer and not wanting to go to his dad's Alma Mater and was living with Robin as flatmates. His mom occasionally sent money without his dad noticing and if they weren't hurting for rent or groceries he'd put most of it in savings and use the rest for gear for the racing game the kids had gotten him into. The GT event is a way to show his parents up and help take care of Robin and pay back the kid's parents who had all helped him get on his feet when he was first kicked out)

Danny Moore - Joyce (Jopper would happen of course but kind of a frenemies to lovers situation) worries about choosing Steve because he's close to her youngest but Hop brings up how if he thought she was seriously trying to favour Steve for the sake of her kids he would fight her on it and that eases her worries.

Capa and Schulin- Tommy and Jason

Murray would be that one pit crew guy who calls Jann "noob"

Jonathan and Nancy still have complicated history with Steve but they get along for the sake of the Party kids and the two strong arm their way onto Steve's PR team despite being college students cause Steve confessed in one of the 'older kids' group chats to being shaken up being flown about place to place all on his own surrounded by strangers who's jobs rely on him doing well on the track and in front of the camera.

El is Hop's daughter and brought on as Pit Crew. She's Steve's biggest fan after Dustin. Steve flies Robin in for his signing event and the first race after that. Platonic Soulmates no matter the universe!!

Not sure if I'd have a romantic pairing for Steve in this one? Robin would of course fall for Eddie's best friend Chrissy he brings with him when they come together for the Les Mans 24 hr race. I can be a Steddie, Harringrove or Stoncy (NOT just Stancy. I have my reasons) person depending on the fic and just... Idk where I'd take this?

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Avatar

https://www.patreon.com/empyreaniris?fan_landing=true

https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing

Sunny was the first to react. Steel rasped over steel  as she darted to stand protectively between Adam and the manic naked man who had just decked him. With the butt end of her spear, she rammed the stranger back into the wall, before flipping her spear around to lay the blade point end at the base of his throat. 

The stranger huffed loudly as he was thrown back against the wall, wind knocked partially from his lungs, but when he finally regained his breath, instead of speaking, protesting or otherwise, he simply began to laugh.. The laugh was long, loud and rather manic leaving Sunny a bit unsettled.

She snarled, pressing the speartip hard against his throat, cutting off the laugh. Her eyes darted to Krill’s lifeless body which lay dangling under one of the man’s arms, “IS he dead?”

The man giggled.

Sunny snarled, “You better think of your next words very carefully, or I’m going to run you through like a kebab.”

Behind her on the floor, Adam was just beginning to regain his senses.

The punch hadn’t been strong enough to knock him out, but he flexed his jaw experimentally as he sat up, a woozy hand to his head.

“WAIT!”

Some of the pressure eased up on Sunny’s spear, and she drew back slightly, turning her head only far enough to be able to see to the end of the hallway, while still being able to keep an eye on their attacker.

She was certainly surprised  to find Dr. Katie dressed in full surgical scrubs come puffing up the hallway, followed closely by Celex and Conn in similar states of dress. Katie held out a hand, “Don’t hurt him.”

Sunny frowned, glanced down at Krill’s limp body and then back at them.

It took her a few seconds to weigh their friendship, determine how much she trusted them before stepping back and lowering her spear. The man relaxed somewhat, breathing hard as his head fell forward. She had nicked the skin of his neck a bit, causing a gentle ruby to begin forming against his russet skin.

Slowly, the man reached up, passing a hand over his neck before drawing his hand away to examine the blood now staining his fingers.  Instead of being fearful like she might have assumed, he was almost gleeful.

Sunny turned towards the end of the hall, the question plain on every line of her face.

Who was this madman? For a moment she assumed it was a crew member who had had some sort of psychotic break due to the anesthesia. She wasn’t sure if that was possible, but it was plausible enough to keep hr from murdering him just on principal.

Adam was still holding a hand to his face when the stranger’s expression finally began to resolve itself away from manic .

In the space of a moment, the stranger went very still,  the manic light in his eyes died away, replaced by something that was unnervingly like cold calculation.  He turned his expression back to Adam, who still sat on the floor looking back and forth between the stranger and the surgical team  searching for answers that were not forthcoming 

“You have no idea how long I have waited to do that.” Adam frowned and Sunny frowned with him. Somehow that voice seemed, familiar,  vocal tone, or cadence or something that she couldn’t place.

The familiarity of the voice only served to deepen Adam’s confusion.

“I’m sorry have we-”

The stranger didn’t bother to answer the question, but kept going, “For all the stupid, idiotic, dangerous, numb skulled bullshit that you have put me through over the years.” The stranger was gaining some momentum, slow deliberate words devolving rapidly into a no holds barred rant that echoed up and down the hallway, “For all the cuts, burns, poisonings, gunshots, electrocutions, stabbings, abrasions lacerations, contusions and concussions because you are the dumbest, most foolhardy, self sacrificing  dumbass with the world's most rotund savior complex,  and all the time you are leaving me there to sit and worry,  and twiddle my antenna on principal-”

“Krill!” 

Adam got it a second before Sunny, whose mouth dropped open in a stupor of shock and confusion.

Bruised jaw forgotten for the moment, Adam scrambled to his feet eyes wide as he stared at the man…. At krill , who glowered up at him, and now that she knew, sunny wondered how she had missed it before.

She couldn’t have explained it, but this man.

Couldn’t have been anyone else.

The facial expressions, the way he spoke, the way he moved, the defiant jut of his chin. She almost felt stupid for not seeing it before.

Adam inched forward leaning in to examine Krill like he was a specimen in a jar, “Woah.”

Krill tried to bat Adam’s hand aside, but Adam caught him easily by the wrist, “You got one free shot on me,  but that’s it.” He turned to look at the others, Katie, Celex, and Conn standing at the end of the hall and shuffling their feet like naughty grade schoolers, “I think someone needs to explain to me what’s going on.” 

***

Twenty minutes later, they reconvened. Celex had tried to instruct Krill on the fine art of manifesting clothing to go with his Anima shape, but that hadn’t really worked out, so instead he had borrowed a pair of scrubs and an old white lab coat from medical storage.

As soon as the coat was pulled on over his shoulders, everyone could feel as the missing piece clicked right into place. It was almost as if those clothes had been made specifically for this form.  

Together, they all sat or stood in various stages of shock and confusion inside the medical wing. Krill’s non-anima body lay lifeless on one of the med bay cots, though Katie had determined, with some relief, that the body wasn’t dead, but in something like a persistent vegetative state.

Dr Katie herself sat rather sheepishly on one of the nearby beds. She had taken off her surgical gown and hairnet, allowing her long, dark hair to fall in gentlewaves around her shoulders. Celex stood a few feet away from her with an expression of amusement rather than sheepishness. 

Conn almost seemed bored. 

At the far end of the room, Krill stood in his new clothing staring down at his very human hands, flexing them slowly open and then closed, watching as the tendons on the back of his hand moved and rolled beneath the skin

It was hard to tell the perceived age of Krill’s Anima body , but after some deliberation Adam might have said late thirties or early forties. Were it not for the subtle lines around the eyes, he might have said late twenties. It was however, the subtle dash of silver in Krill’s reddish hair that convinced him, though makers know Adam wasn’t one to judge a man’s age by the amount of grey he had  From head to toe Krill still wasn’t very tall,, though he wasn’t that short either, maybe 5’9 at most. His skin was a dark russet with visible undertones of red which either matched or clashed with his dark reddish orange hair, sticking up around his skull in an untidy mess.

Like celex, Only his eyes marked him as inhuman, the irises themselves a rather disconcerting shade of orange not possible on any other human.

“So,.... you did an animectomy…. On a vrul?” Adam said, turning to look at Katie who still sat shuffling her feet at the edge of the cot.

“He insisted….” Katie said feebly 

Adam rubbed the back of his head, “I’d call you reckless if I weren’t so impressed.” he shot a glance at krill, “Even he hasn’t attempted a surgery that hard.” Krill frowned at him, and gave him the finger, a gesture that seemed to delight him immensely.

Adam snorted,  “What possessed you to…. Do this?”

This time the question was directed at Krill, who finally looked up from playing with his newly acquired hands.

Bruises were already beginning to develop over the back of his knuckles, a surprising turn of events considering the body was his anima. Every Animectomy they had done  had resulted in different outcomes for everyone. Adam and Sunny had been given the ability to communicate telepathically and occasionally use the power of the anima. Maverick, it seemed, had regained all her memories and thus was able to use her powers in full, though she hadn’t been able to disconnect herself from her body, and now there was krill, who seemed disconnected from his body but also tethered.

So far, his human form had shown no signs of overt anima power.

Krill himself hypothesized that all of the anima energy was being used to maintain the human form he now held. 

He couldn’t read minds.

And he wasn’t indestructible.

Krill  reached up and ran a searching hand through his hair, blinking his eyes at them, “It’s so…. Strange…. The way you see things its… precise.”

“Krill-” Adam prodded.

Krill frowned at him, taking full advantage of his new human face to make the expression, “I was sick and tired of being useless.”

This time it was Adam’s turn to frown, ‘Who said you were useless/’

“No one.” Another voice announced to the doorway,and the group of them turned to see Riss scuttle into the room. He paused for a moment to look krill up and down, having made the connection more rapidly than the rest of them. His expression was vaguely thoughtful, “He has a complex, thinks helping only matters if it's on the front lines. Apparently saving lives and helping people isn’t good enough.” he turned his gaze to krill studying him with a critical expression, “You’re short.” He said finally.

Krill frowned at him again, an expression that was going to start leaving lines on his face if he did it anymore, walked over and picked Riss up, like he was picking up a toddler.

Riss seemed surprised and krill seem rather pleased with himself, “I wouldn’t sass me anymore.” He smiled showing off two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth,.

Riss simply patted his cheek, “yes yes, of course.” He said in a bored voice.

Annoyed, Krill set him back down, turning his head in slow circles, then closing his eyes, “It feels so…. Strange.” He muttered 

The rest of the room exchanged looks. Then turned to Celex who was the only one in the room who had any sort of experience in this matter.

He waved a hand, “Becoming human can be…. disconcerting . I imagine its even worse for Krill. All of a sudden the way you see things changes, sharpens out. Your hearing becomes better, and so does your vision, when a gust of air rushes past you its like…. Feeling particles against your skin. You can hear….. everything , and when your body moves it's almost, narcotic, the pull and push of muscles and tendons.” He frowned again, “And then there is this, feeling, a subtle need to move, to run….” He paused, “I don’t know if that’s just me though. Being human….. Its addictive.”

Krill hummed, similarly to how he might have hummed in pleasure as a vrul but the sound was strangely inhuman.

And watching Krill, they all had to admit it was almost like he was high. His eyes were closed and he rocked gently from one foot to the other as if swaying to music only he could hear. 

Of course it was to all of their surprise when parts of Krill’s body began to flake away and evaporate into sudden starbursts of light.

Adam rose from his seat, and so did Katie, but by that time Krill’s body had winked out of existence, and the body lying on the cot jolted suddenly awake, shooting upward in an attempted movement that was far too human to work on a vrul body.

Vrul Krill groaned.

They all hurried to cluster over next to him.

When he finally began to focus, Adam thought his expression might have been mildly

Disappointed.

[nautiscarader]

wildehopes 22

(Ao3)

"How does it feel?"

"Tall."

Judy replied, reaching for the lever of the swivelling chair to lift herself up and line up with her new desk.

"We can order another one.", Nick added watching as his girlfriend slowly rose up, "The HR will not want to hear complaints from you regarding size discrimination…"

"Nah, it's okay." Judy scoffed "Though it will feel weird not seeing the giant one Bogo was working at…"

"It's your office now, chief."

Judy froze. It did feel weird, and she was still not completely used to her new title and a mountain of new responsibilities that awaited her from tomorrow morning.

She tossed those thoughts away as she got to her feet, surrounding the new desk, as if looking for something to complaint.

"Don't you think it is… too small, though? For-for other animals, though."

"I think it is just tall enough."

Judy's ears perked as she detected the slightest hint of sarcasm in his voice, and as she turned around, she saw the corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly, assuming superficially innocent shape.

It didn't take long enough for her to connect the dots.

"Really, Nick?", she crossed her arms and stomped her foot.

"Really…what?" he asked, without looking away, his stoic demeanour making her blood boil.

"Doing it on a table? Seriously?"

Nick's eyes opened wide as he clutched his badge.

"My goodness, Judy, how could you? I've been thinking it was just tall enough to climb and change the lightbulb! You bunnies have such dirty minds… Chief"

His lips curled into a smile, as the remained locked in a staring contest. And the two have been thinking the same thing.

"It's not like you are going to fire yourself, flu-"

Nick's words were almost cut off by Judy's lips, as she grabbed his tie and pulled him against her, her smaller frame naturally curling between his body and the new desk.

And as their kiss deepened and he slid between her legs, Judy cursed him. He was right, it was perfect height…

She was glad she hasn't changed her clothes yet, as Nick's paws wrinkled her shirt, trying to lay her across the desk, his tongue already doing laps around her modest breasts, while her hands dealt with his zipper.

And with that came the memories, the selected few times they have most certainly broken the rules and had sex in their workplace… like that time a certain trainer bunny rewarded her best obstacle course student by letting him fuck her face and glaze her completely with his jizz… or that time in tge archives when they nearly toppled the bookcases…

They were under pressure of time, but that did not stop Nick from breaking the kiss just to take a lick of her pussy, just tp tease her and feel her pulling him back into place, her insatiable hunger for his cock manifesting itself in form of her legs locking around him.

"Do it, quickly.", she whispered, her voice cracking just a little when his tip brushed her opening.

And for once, Nick listened, his paws grabbing her waist as he rammed himself inside her, marvelling at the sight of Judy splayed on her own desk. And with his first thrust, the desk proved to be almost perfectly silent, the only noises coming from the needy bunny, fucked by her fox, and a novelty Newton cradle suddenly put into motion.

Nick kept his eyes at hers, but couldn't notice the picture to her side, the one from five years ago, him cuddling with her on holidays…

"So, are you going to give me preferential treatment now, chief?", he asked, stopping his wild thrusts, watching as her ears perk up. "Co s that looks like conflict of interests…"

"I'm gonna conflict your interests if you don't put it back in.", she hissed impatiently, her strong legs kicking his butt.

Smiling, he resumed his pushes, but deliberately stopping just shy of fully sheathing himself in, listening to her voice cracking with each slide, depraving her of the full pleasure she hungered for.

"Nick… give it to me", she finally broke, begging him.

"Judy… You know what will happen next…"

"It's an order, Wilde.", Judy grabbed Nick's shoulders. "Knot and breed me!"

"Yes, ma'am".

And with his next thrust, he lodged himself firmly inside her, pushing his knot between her lips, watching as her eyes widen and her lips open, his mouth already on hers to contain the moan from the sheer size of his stretching her pussy.

But it was the series of smaller moans Nick kept drinking from her mouth that made him truly satisfied, as each followed another spurt of his vulpine virility flooding her womb, while their bodies rocked their climaxes for a good minute or so.

"Damn, Judy…", Nick wheezed when he let go of her, "I feel like I will stay inside you for an hour this time…"

"You wish you could send me on a maternity leave with a whole litter of kits inside of me, right?"

"At least twenty, if that was possible…", he joked, growling next to her ear. "But I am so glad Zootopia will have a great chief now."

The two kissed, Judy relaxing her body, as she revelled in Nick's musky smell.

"Although you might reschedule the 3 o'clock meeting, chief", Nick sudden;y spoke.

The dreamy, absent-minded smile vanished from her face and her ears perked up at once. Judy looked at the clock, panicked to find it was just two minutes till the full hour. She looked back at Nick's smug smile, and then at their joined bodies, his bulbous knot still twitching and visibly bulging in her underbelly.

"It was your order, fluff.", Nick smiled, as Judy realised her first day may start with a bit of a slip.

[vincentholdsapen]

Jacob Marley Does Not Get Stage Fright

(Present fic for @a-christmas-carol-from-hr )

Jacob Marley did not get stage fright.

The marketing campaign was supposed to be straightforward, a task Jacob Marley had accomplished countless times. To calm his nerves, he inhaled deeply, meticulously arranged his slightly disheveled hair, and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt as he prepared to take the stage. His eyes naturally drifted to the teleprompter when he attempted to survey the audience, which, combined with the powerful and dazzling light of the spotlights, made him squint.

As the stage lights gradually faded, the anticipatory murmur of the audience subsided. Jacob confidently strode into position, his well-practiced smile beaming across his face. As he stood poised in front of the camera, his strong, articulate voice resonated through the speakers, captivating every listener in attendance.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am excited to introduce you to our latest innovation - the new and improved DVX-5000 television. With its stunning picture quality and state-of-the-art technology, we are confident that it will exceed all of your expectations."

His eyes briefly darted to the teleprompter, his hands dramatically gesticulating to emphasize his key points as he spoke fervently about the impressive features of the product. The audience was utterly entranced by his eloquent words, their undivided attention drawn to the sleek, contemporary design of the DVX-5000, which was prominently showcased on the massive screens behind him.

Scrooge, his business partner, attentively observed from the crowd with her arms crossed. Jacob's fingers twitched with anxiety as beads of sweat formed on his furrowed brow, capturing her attention. She observed him continuously adjusting his glasses after each sentence, and couldn't help but notice how he occasionally raked his fingers through his unkempt hair. Nervous tics of his, she knew well.

Jacob continued to maintain his flawless Mr. TV persona, eloquently articulating each word as it reverberated off the walls. He skillfully delivered well-timed grins to the camera, showcasing his charisma. Despite her initial indifference, Scrooge found herself increasingly impressed by the captivating manner in which Jacob presented the product.

His visage remained steadfast, never revealing a hint of anxiety as he captivated the audience with an in-depth understanding of the television's features and capabilities. His gaze fluidly shifted between the camera and the teleprompter, skillfully displaying his extensive expertise. However, the teleprompter experienced a sudden glitch, causing the text to flicker erratically before vanishing altogether. This unforeseen hindrance jolted the smooth cadence of his eloquent speech, leaving him to stumble awkwardly over his words.

At that moment, Jacob's unwavering poise wavered ever so slightly, immediately grabbing Scrooge's undivided attention. The self-assured smile that had adorned his face was now replaced by a fleeting expression of terror – every presenter's worst nightmare come to life.

The words seemed to claw at his throat, refusing to emerge as he desperately attempted to continue. No words came. A haunting silence enveloped the room, amplifying Jacob's panic.

Jacob Marley did not get stage fright.

He had done countless presentations before, delivering each with admirable poise and confidence. But at that moment, with the malfunctioning teleprompter and the scrutinizing gazes of the audience fixed on him, he felt like a deer caught in the headlights. His mind raced as he tried to remember what he had practiced, but everything seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Say something, anything. Say something. The desperate plea from Jacob's inner monologue reverberated deafeningly within him.

His legs felt rooted in place and his entire body remained petrified.

Jacob Marley did not get stage fright.

And yet, in that very moment, Marley's throat tightened in fear. Panic-stricken and desperate, this sight was wholly uncharacteristic of the typically self-confident businessman.

Scrooge's eyes widened in genuine concern as she observed Jacob's unforeseen hesitation, which caught her off guard. Intuitively sensing that something was wrong, she determinedly navigated through the dense throng of people, sharply snapping at those who stood in her way. With strong, purposeful strides toward the stage, the sharp clicks of Scrooge's high heels rang out against the impeccably polished floor, reverberating throughout the hushed room. As she approached the stage, she could see the fear and uncertainty etched on Jacob's face.

Wrong. Her mind immediately said to her. The look on his face was wrong. Jacob wasn't supposed to look like that. Jacob was a man who oozed confidence and charisma, the very image of a born salesman. But there he stood, paralyzed by fear and uncertainty.

Drawing nearer to him, she sought the warmth of his gaze. Jacob's eyes were unyielding, tethered to the lifeless teleprompter as though begging for words to materialize upon the empty screen. As his attention shifted towards her, their eyes intertwined, she saw the raw vulnerability reflecting in his eyes.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Her mind shouted in an agonizing chorus.

The sight of sheer terror etched on his face was something she despised beyond measure. Though she was hardly one to express her emotions, witnessing Jacob in such a heart-wrenching state was nearly too much for Scrooge to bear.

With a fiery gaze fixed on the teleprompter, she unleashed a guttural snarl, demanding the technician to rectify the problem right away. Her unshakable confidence emanated from her presence like an overwhelming force, while she stood there, tapping her foot restlessly for the much-needed corrections.

"Fix it now!" She snarled, her teeth clenched tightly, as her piercing glare burned into the technician who frantically tried to obey her order.

"I'm doing everything I can!" They retorted, Scrooge's relentless stare following the technician as he darted around wildly, desperately working to mend the malfunctioning teleprompter.

"You're fired!" Scrooge's words sliced through the atmosphere like a razor-sharp blade, her face twisted with all-consuming rage. The technician halted in his tracks, an overwhelming sense of dread crawling up his backbone when he understood the gravity of his error. In that heart-stopping moment, it became crystal clear - his career had vanished in the blink of an eye.

"Did you hear me? Fired! Finished! You'll never work in this town again," Scrooge seethed, her voice freezing cold and oozing contempt as she loomed over the now powerless technician. Her patience had long since run out for incompetence; only perfection was acceptable from those who served beneath her.

Her gaze flashed towards Jacob's quivering figure, then snapped back to the technician, who feverishly struggled to fix the error.

As the teleprompter flickered back to life, Jacob's eyes instantly locked onto the screen, and a wave of relief washed over him. His body relaxed as he regained his composure. With renewed passion and determination, he began to speak, his words flowing fluently as he masterfully regained command of the presentation. The audience sat enraptured, hanging on to his every word as he expertly wove his narrative.

Still, Scrooge couldn't ignore the way Jacob's eyes had flickered with fear before she intervened. As the final moments of the presentation rolled by and the captivated audience began to disperse, she knew she needed to speak with Jacob. He was in the midst of a sea of admirers, showing their appreciation for his fantastic performance. Patiently, Scrooge observed Jacob from afar, analyzing each movement and interaction closely. Eventually, as the last admirer took their leave, she made her move. Approaching him with a look of genuine concern etched on her face, Scrooge found herself locking eyes with Jacob once again.

"Well, that could have gone better.." Jacob muttered, running a trembling hand through his disheveled hair as he let out a long, unsteady breath. His half-hearted grin did little to mask the concern hidden behind his eyes.

Scrooge observed him with great attention, taking note of how the tension in his shoulders seemed to radiate through him and the involuntary tapping of his fingers against his thigh.

"Are you alright?" she inquired gently, her voice unintentionally more tender than she had intended, as she reached out and placed a comforting hand on his tense shoulder.

With an exasperated roll of his eyes, Jacob dismissively shrugged off Scrooge's earnest attempts to provide comfort.

"I'm perfectly fine," he said in a low, dismissive tone, yet the slight quiver in his voice revealed the lingering anxiety within. Recognizing this familiar pattern, Scrooge chose not to probe further and instead scrutinized Jacob closely. She had observed this behavior from him on numerous occasions - Jacob was an expert at concealing his emotions behind a bold veneer, only for them to emerge unexpectedly when least desired. “It was just a fluke.”

"You froze up there, Marley," Scrooge remarked in a calm voice, sensing his unease. Her tone took on an almost humorous quality as she sought to alleviate her partner's growing anxiety. Jacob's expression tightened as his eyes darted to the ground, his jaw firmly locked in vexation. Scrooge inched closer, her warm touch lingering on his shoulder, offering solace.

"I'm very well aware of what I did," Jacob retorted tersely, as he resisted the temptation to reject the comforting touch. "I assure you it won't happen again."

"That's not the issue," Scrooge's frown deepened, her piercing gaze unrelenting as it bore into Jacob's visage.

"Then what? You mean my panic? The way I humiliated both of us?" Jacob's retort lingered oppressively in the stifling atmosphere. Scrooge instinctively retreated a step, giving him the space he needed to breathe. She could feel the tension between them, a taut wire that threatened to snap at any moment.

"Jacob, breathe," Scrooge gently urged, addressing him by his first name as a show of familiarity and comfort. Jacob heeded her words and took a deliberate step backward, allowing his eyelids to fall shut as he inhaled deeply, just as Scrooge had counseled. She tenderly placed a supportive hand on his tense back, encouraging him through this calming process. Gradually, he exhaled the air, feeling the frantic pounding of his heart subside to a more controllable rhythm. As his gaze returned to Scrooge's eyes, he could see her examining him with great concern and compassion—the same attentive scrutiny she reserved for all his performances.

"Well, I guess there's a reason why I never went into theater," Jacob chuckled on a self-deprecating note while shrugging off his earlier panic-stricken moment onstage. He exaggerated a lighthearted pose and was rewarded with the emergence of a small, knowing smile playing at the corners of Scrooge's mouth—proof that she hadn't entirely retreated into her thoughts. She maintained her comforting presence, continuing to trace soothing circles on Jacob's back as she felt the last remnants of tension dissolve away from him.

"You okay?" Scrooge watched as Jacob took a deep breath, his expression softening as he exhaled slowly.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he replied, a faint smile forming on his lips. "Thank you."

"Egh, don't get all soft on me, Marley," Scrooge retorted with a mischievous grin, playfully nudging her friend with her elbow as they exited the stage. Though he tried to hide it, Jacob couldn't suppress the tiny grin that tugged at the edges of his lips.

"How do you feel about Chinese food for dinner?" Scrooge asked, knowing it was one of Jacob's favorites.

"Dear god yes."