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#and now you can’t even look into mine
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The urge to kidnap her & rape her in the woods. Chained against a tree & split open on my cock. The screams in pain drowning out all the pathetic cries for help. Carving our initials inside of a heart on, “our” tree afterwards so everyone knows what a sweet couple we are. 🔪🌹
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ssruis · 4 months
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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iamthemaestro · 11 months
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you know, in certain ways I am disappointed by the fact that clothing is no longer as gendered as it used to be—don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great thing, and it definitely is still more gendered than it should be—but it means that people’s perceptions of you now have this additional emphasis on the way that you physically look, which is to say, the unchangeable aspects of your appearance. in the sense that, like, gender is based not on the way you present yourself but on the way you are. and if you don’t physically match to people’s perceptions of what “is” male or female or whatever, then to them you just aren’t.
throughout history, and in some extent today, so much of gender was how you presented yourself and how you performed your gender—which is a problem in itself, of course, but it also kind of gave you the option to “reject” one gender by choosing to present and act as the other, even if it came at a great cost, because people would generally take this outward expression at such face value. in a paradoxical sense, the rigidity of, say, victorian gender expectations made it easier for one to “not achieve,” or even outright reject, their assigned gender, and in that sense, made it easier to transform it. and you can’t do that in the same way anymore, which, as I said, is a double edged sword, but like… I don’t know. it’s a feeling mostly from personal experience, arising from my own historical fantasies as a history-oriented person—a hundred years ago, if i wore men’s clothes as a woman, I’d be told that would undermine my assigned gender and make me “too masculine,” which, you know, would have been the goal. nowadays if I dress entirely masculine I’m just a girl wearing boys’ clothes because people can’t ever see anything else. I don’t know. I guess I’ll just sit here daydreaming about running off in the 18th century to join the british army by “disguising myself as a man” instead of being given one look at a reenactment event and observed with the remark that “the british units tend to have really good female impressions.”
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binders-and-beanies · 4 months
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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daddyricsdoll · 10 months
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titsthedamnseason · 3 months
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both of the piano mashups are making me wonder if it’s harder for her to be in dublin rn than it was to be in london. in london she had so many distractions and close family / friends to support her and might’ve felt like she had something to prove. but based on its reference in sweet nothing, ireland seems like a place where they took more personal / private trips and dublin specifically is also where a lot of conversations with friends was filmed so i wonder if she associates ireland with joe more consumingly….because london has A LOT of other things going on and other memories and people associated with it while ireland might not
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sensitivedead · 4 months
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#shutup sensitive#i know its the case#but i wonder in moments like this#do other people feel like me#i feel like a shell of a person like the body of a person but not the being#and the being i am is like vehemently unlikeable or says things that other beings can’t understand but its like i look like them i act like#them so why dont they understand me#i feel like i understand me very well and i understand others even better than i do myself but why doesnt anyone understand me#ive been in mania for a few days and i recognize it but it really is the worst i cant even reveal in it i dont like this#my desires are so strong right now but are they actually mine or just this other addition of my selves#and if i think long on my desires rn theyre not even real but theyre so strong lol theyre so stupid though why do i need to do something#irrational why cant i just be satisfied per usual#how do i fix it how do i fix it#(time fixes it this ive learned but time is also not a friend of mine)#(i feel like time likes to toy with me and makes broken promises to me that take forever to arrive and im expecting them to not be broken so#i wait and i wait but the time just drags out and then when change arrives its like haha NOT what you wanted! i hate time)#i want to hold the hands of all the hysterical folk in my bloodline i want all the loonies to haunt me and keep me company bc i know what#they felt and i feel for them not having the knowledge and explanations for their feelings like i have and i mourn for them#thanks for passing down the brain worms to me my beloved ancestors im glad i function like you and like nobody else#anyways im pretty sure i need a phat hug#big phat arms wrapped around me and someone to pet my head#so when i get home this is what i will receive but its hours from now#and me and that old time demon :)
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waywardsalt · 2 years
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Every day I think about Bellumbeck’s concept art cloak.
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rosicheeks · 5 months
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Of course it's you I want to put a baby in, silly. You're cute and would make cute babies, and I know I'd breed you fully because if you squirt on my chest, I'll drive my cock into your womb so hard, you'll know the moment you get pregnant when I cum.
oh……. OH 👀👀👀👀👀👀
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2beebebetter · 22 days
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Parents will treat you like a doll in a dollhouse completely stripping you of your agency and any say in your life and how you want to live it — refuting your individuality by saying “you are not your own person nothing is ‘yours’ everything you have is from US your home your furniture your food your things your accomplishments your body all belong to US you have what we want to do with your life comes FIRST while you live under OUR house you live under OUR rules” — but when you start showing no interest in your life and become a ghost in your own home because it has been drilled into you that nothing in your life is actually yours to the point that being alive feels wholly unbearable they yell and ask “why do you never contribute to YOUR house why do you never get involved in YOUR home this house is YOURS too why don’t you treat it like YOUR house” as if they never did any of the former
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whumpy-wyrms · 6 months
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If your ocs were in a TOH coven(s)/specialized magic track(s) which would they pick? I feel like as fucked as Anton’s methods are, he would be in Potions and Healing :3
-@vidawhump
alright i haven’t watched TOH since it ended and i’m gonna be honest i thought all the hexside stuff was boring and i didn’t pay much attention to the coven stuff. oops
BUT!!!! i think Anton would be like Eda and just say fuck it to all the specialized magic tracks and just use wild magic. he’d probably like making abominations and beastkeeping, cuz he’d like interacting with all the magic creatures and palismen and stuff. he’d also like potions and healing too :) and he’d be best friends with King because of course he would
Dew would like illusions maybe? or healing? tbh i’m not sure. maybe he’d like beastkeeping too (honestly everyone from tllr would like beastkeeping they all love animals). you know what? he’d be like Luz. the main character and undecided on what magic to use. maybe he’d be a human and use glyphs
Layla would like plant magic, Hayden would also like beastkeeping and maybe illusions, Sawyer would be into potions or healing. the three of them would be friends at hexside, Layla and Hayden would have a similar role as Willow and Gus, and Sawyer would be similar to Amity. Aspen would be a wild magic guy, he doesn’t follow the rules either. Silas wouldn’t even be a witch he’d just be an evil monster they’d have to kill
Pierce would straight up be Belos in this scenario. fuck that guy
and that’d make Anton hunter in That scenario and now i’m thinking of a whole au that i’ll most likely do nothing with
OHHHHHH MY GOD i know who the mystery character would be. but i shan’t say. take a wild guess :)
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handcat · 1 year
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back to the dating app 🚶
#got inspired to try it again 🙄#i have a date semi planned now and all of the women in portland are obsessed w me or whatever#bc i like love and dating ppl but i keep falling in love with friends and it HAS NOT ENDED WELL ONCE so maybe stop it you dumbass#(this may be caused by the fact i’ve gotten my hopes up a bit abt a friend of mine but i should NOT… unless…)#i crave companionship#and am#also so scared all the time i’m soooooososcaredddd rn#why can’t everyone just love me all the time#must be my personality bc i’m like really hot rn#also me swiping on ppl just looking for hookups them matching and just 😳 i do not know if i’m at a point in my life where i am confident eno#ugh to do that 😳#as previously stated i’m so so scared#idk i’m conflicted and need to over share about it#idk will continue flirting w that one friend tho#even though flirting with eachother is an ongoing joke in this friend group so i don’t think she would take it seriously lmao#was telling my dear good pal to come over and suck my fingers yesterday like that’s just how it is#anyway she’s cool and makes childrens books and stories and loves dinasours and is tall and can jump really high#we got drunk together at my friends bday and bonded and it was SO CUTE#also she cries a lot when she’s high but doesn’t notice (she’s not even sad there’s just tears lol)#ruh roh just typed that all out and realized it seems like i’m obsessed w her 😳#going to hit my head on a wall okay goodnight
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bravevolunteer · 1 year
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me vs passages about cain that make me violently ill
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binders-and-beanies · 2 years
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Lil dyspraxia symbol tattoo :)
Got this here because 1) unapologetic identification with dyspraxia bc it affects every part of me and 2) no one appears to know where the dyspraxia symbol came from or what it means and that just feels so fitting bc we don’t get to know much about our condition or our history and community so we have to just like. Create our own community. And so part of the meaning of this tattoo is that we don’t know what it means, so we get the chance to choose what we think it means. I see a lil guy jumping for joy (dyspraxically) hbu
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hxdden-magic · 2 years
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post the fursona!!!
Anon you know what you are so right. I haven’t posted art in so long…
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Anyway here’s her…she has like three names that are all silly little nature names I would go by. I love moon symbols sm 🌙 her middle pair of eyes are the only ones that need glasses <3 I literally need to draw her again soooo bad she’s so epic
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