mitchy dyeing his hair pink would actually change the game i'm convinced
absolutely 100%. forget about better defense and offense from anyone not in the core. what the leafs need is for the little twink to dye his hair pink and become so distracting that every opposing player immediately forgets they’re playing professional hockey and just trails after him like hey what uh are ya doing later? Giving auston (incandescent with fury) a chance to score. 100 goal season for am34 at least. We’ve cracked it. Let’s get the leafs on the phone
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lost the pentacle necklace charm ive had for like. fifteen years or something at work. i think it mustve ended up in the trash as i was taking it out and now its just gone.
like of the two i had (the other is a fmab homunculus symbol) THATS the one that mattered. my mother gave that to me. just. ugh
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I recently lost my best friend to cancer, and words cannot describe how incredibly painful every waking hour has been since I got the news.
They say time heals all, and I can only hope that the memories that suffocate me now will soon become nostalgic treasures that will soothe my longing.
Right now, it fucking hurts tho
And grief is just a weird feeling. It's trying to face a reality that you cannot comprehend, much less accept; but it forces itself onto you regardless, bc there's no way back.
No way out.
This how it is now.
But really, in trying to process this new reality, it has dawned upon me just how... weird, it is.
Just how weird it all feels to me.
I still know his birthday by heart.
And when it comes around, I know I will think of what gift I should get him for a second - before remembering he's gone, and crying all over again over a wound that never truly healed.
I still know his favorite shows, and I know that he collected funko pops of them. There's a list on my phone with the ones he already had, so that I knew to look for new ones when shopping around.
The messages we sent are still on my phone. Still among the most recent ones, for now.
And when I click on them, the last words we ever exchanged (and will ever exchange) stare back at me. Just like they're any other ordinary message, unaware of the massive weight they carry to me.
As does his profile picture, a frozen image of what he will forever look like in my mind.
Spared the burden and the blessing of aging beyond his mid twenties.
The audio messages are still there, too.
His voice still calls me, by name, every time I hit play. Like an echo of what once was, a voice I will never hear again in this lifetime.
But the recordings remain.
And it hurts me so, so bad.
Yet, I play it over and over again.
Maybe hoping the words will be different at one point, like he's just recorded something new.
But by now, I know each audio by heart.
Over and over and over again.
I still know by heart all of the inside jokes that only he and I knew. And now, I have no one else to tell them to.
When I see a pair of blue pants, or finding nemo merch, or a news reporter wearing yellow; I'll have to keep it to myself from now on.
Because no one else in the world gets why that is funny to me.
Or why it was funny to us.
It's just, I didn't expect everything to vanish when you did.
But I didn't expect just how much what you left behind would hurt.
Your birthday. Our inside jokes. The recipe we always made together. The road where we'd drive at night almost every weekend. The shows we watched together that you'll never see the end of. The path we walked home after school as teens. Your favorite color. The book I borrowed and never gave back.
You are gone, but so much of you remains with me.
It's like a letter adressed to an empty house.
What do I do with it all now?
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11 (and if so what song!!) + 20 + 42 + 53 !!
11 - are you listening to music right now
sadly no :(
20 - what is your favorite song at the moment
when i tell you this changes so much....maybe when i come around by green day? as of right now
42 - favorite book (s)
this is so embarrassing but i am actually such a terrible reader like. well i can read WELL but i get distracted easily and it takes me like 10 mins to read 1 page (why i read fanfiction so slowly lol) because i read ahead or don't process the information etc etc. so um. needless to say i don't have a favorite book rn 😭 anyway i will start reading more soon i promise....
53 - five things that make me happy
my cat, my best friend, bagels, lakes, and being warm and cozy
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i appreciate the attempts a lot of game devs are making with gender neutral character creation, and i appreciate that it's actually a very difficult task to implement that depending on the game's base code. but it's so funny to me when you hear an uproar because some game has "entirely removed the gender option from character creation!!!!!" so you go to check it out and its just like
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