#and said 'actually rage is good and important and justice is a powerful thing

[audliminal]

Thinking about Ankarna's offers of justice. Thinking about the bad kid's resounding refusal. Thinking about how the definition of justice that Ankarna is used to expecting is rooted in vengeance and battle. Thinking about the bad kids slowly teaching Ankarna a new definition of justice; one rooted in compassion and change. One rooted in rebellion, in saying the current system isn't good enough, in demanding better from the world. Thinking about Ankarna becoming a goddess of protests and boycotts, of restitution and reparation. Thinking about Ankarna learning to fight with her voice as much as her fists.

[just-a-fragment]

It's jung heewon's birthday and gosh her character arc still hits hard even after finishing the novel for almost a year now.

She was a "nameless background character" and when she was introduced it's implied she was a victim of one of the most cruel crimes someone can commit to another person(and yet its something that happens to most women).

In this scene, KDJ's commentary states that its a "cliche" or not an unexpected development that happens to "nameless" characters whenever a story has societal collapse. So it's very refreshing that not only did she turn out to be such an important character, but when she gained one of the more powerful attack skills, she was able to enact her vengeance and carry this righteous catharsis throughout the novel. But it doesn't stop there!

The skill actually contains a caveat. She wasn't the one who decided which "evil" is deserving of being killed. She has to constantly answer to a system that has to unanimously "vote" if the skill should be used or not. So while she's extremely powerful, there were times where she wasn't able to defend herself just because the system of good decided that her enemy wasn't worthy of punishment.

Except who are these constellations to decide if someone was worthy or not, especially when, aside from delighting in these spectacles, they weren't the ones affected by such grievances. She has seen how the so-called "good" abandoned her and her companions in vital times, that's why it was so satisfying when she finally gained full autonomy to enact her own judgement. She saw that the system doesn't actually adhere to morality but to an audience, to authorities who never cared for their own well-being in the first place. The best part about this arc is not just how her skill evolved from adhering to a shaky yet rigid parameter to the intrinsic desire to protect the ones you love but how it doesn't abhor the way she handled her trauma! It was never implied that the rage she felt was cruel/any less.

Her story arc is such a kind fate that most authors rarely consider for characters who suffered the same as her. It's established early on that aside from being one of the most powerful characters, she's also funny! she's very caring to the kids, she mentors jihye, she's very loyal to kimcom. She has one of the more consistent moral codes in the novel, she's justice personified. It's what makes her character arc so satisfying, her trauma never retracted any of this, because that's always been who she is.

Her character arc could've just been dissecting her trauma around men, but it's also how it's incredibly hard to maintain your sense of justice/sense of self under an oppressive system. How even the most capable people are held back.

She's not reduced to some brooding/tsundere combat side character, who not only overly relies on the male mc but experiences more trauma to further male mc / other male character developments, which unfortunately happens to characters that have the same fate as her.

Like she's incredibly loyal to dokja but she questions his decisions, she doesn't praise him as a god that goes through with all of his plans just because he saved her, Because she doesn't owe him anything and both of them know this! By the end of the novel she was the one who felt remorse, but her loyalty is still there.

Same thing can be said with Hyunsung who was consistently willing to be a tool for her catharsis, for her righteous anger, and this might be a controversial opinion, but I actually kinda liked that they broke up! In the brief/rare times we get their perspective, yeah we can see that they actually do care/love each other, we can't deny that their love story was born from the apocalypse. It was never confirmed but I wouldn't ignore the possibility that to some constellations, their relationship was a spectacle, people were supporting them, or egging them on(I mean we even see how HSY placed a bet on them)

It's a very refreshing or even realistic take to these kinds of storylines, yes Hyunsung helped her when she was broken, yes he helped her with her trauma, yes they loved each other. But the implication that Heewon, someone who was introduced as a person whose agency was taken from her, being able to decide that her "knight-in-shining armor" isn't her endgame, and being able to acknowledge that it isn't the right time, but the love existed, the love was still there(which is one of orv's main themes). Like that's such a powerful and important message!

I also like how the side stories addresses the argument on whether or not she deserves the backstory she got like!!! SS already proved that she was written with so much care, so much interiority, so much agency, so much love. I wish I could write more(even though this post is already long lol) but I haven't read the side stories.

So yeah HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNG HEEWON WOMAN OF ALL TIME.

[thebindingofpillo]

Semjaza

Azazel’s former boss, leader of the Watchers, massive fucking slut. I don’t want to write too much about him (I say, as I’m preparing a whole ass document) because on one hand, I don’t want to spoil too much the story, and on the other I hope his personality will shine through my comic. He’s going to be a villain in a pretty important arc, and I want to do him justice. Anyway if you’re reading this, a warning for some deaths and genocide (Sem is also a major abusive asshole so no sympathy for him).

Semjaza was once one of the Seven Archangels, and as such his purpose was to lead the Watchers to protect (and observe!) humanity from up close. For this he was given permission to go on Earth with his subordinates, buuut things did not go well. At all.

Semjaza was never one to care much about humans in the first place, if anything he found them quite disgusting, a few degree above animals. This however didn’t stop him from finding some use for them. When he (and the Watchers) arrived on Earth, they were greeted with great honours and worshipped almost as gods, and Semjaza discovered he liked the power he held over those weak creatures. God ruled over the angels, right? It only ade sense that an angel could rule over humanity. Not everyone held the same ideals as him though, and when the Watchers started intermingling with the humans, there were some angels who genuinely sought out a connection, and even dared do hope for a family (*cough* like Azazel *cough*). Still, Semjaza was the first to “officially” take a human wife (her name was Istehar, she’s gonna have a ref eventually) to better gain the trust of humans, and thus he’s usually considered the one who started the whole rebellion thing. Soon, he rose to even greater power, as a sort of king among men.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the other archangels however, and soon the archangel Jegudiel came to Earth. Heaven was already keeping an eye on the Nephilim and with Semjaza trying to amass all the power, direct action was needed. Once Semjaza realised his manipulation wasn’t moving Jegudiel, he killed them in a fit of rage, but couldn’t hide from the watchful eye of god (and Michael). Because of this, the remaining archangels came to Earth, both to punish Semjaza (and the Watchers) and to deal with the Nephilim situation that was quickly getting out of hand. All the Watchers fell (all of them!), all the Nephilim were killed, and all the humans were dispersed or even killed in the Great Flood, sent by God to kind of “restart” humanity (the whole Flood thing is a bit iffy though, it might change in the future)

I actually wanted to write more about the Watchers, but I have a lot to say about angels in general, so I’ll probably make a separate post in the future.

Semjaza is, to put it simply,  a master manipulator. He’s quite observant, with a keen eye for any weakness to exploit, and can easily worm his way into anyone’s good side with his silver tongue. He is also not above using more… questionable methods to get what he wants, especially since his fall. Hell is no place for weaklings after all. His silver halo was a tell-tale sign he had other things on his mind other than fulfilling his purpose but despite this, the other angels greatly respected him, and he even rose to power as an Archangel (truly the highlight of Semjaza’s whole existence). Some could argue that he did so through the manipulation he was so apt as, but at first Semjaza really wanted to do right by God! Even accepting to watch over those disgusting and limited humans the Great Creative loved so much. That being said, while having some acquaintances in Heaven, he never really grew closer with any of them, only keeping an eye on the ones he thought most useful for whatever he needed to be done. This made him grow extremely close to Azazel, who was the only one Semjaza could consider a friend (and hopefully… something more?) but this still didn’t deter him from using Azazel as a scapegoat once shit hit the fan. Still, when Azazel lost everything he loved, he turned to Semjaza for comfort, and this eventually caused the two to develop an incredibly unhealthy relationship that lasted literal millennia and culminated in a huge fight in which Semjaza broke Azazel’s horn and threw his wedding ring at him, essentially leaving him forever. Despite this, Semjaza still has what could be considered an obsession for Azazel, and is always keeping an ear out for any news concerning his former lover. He’s just incapable of letting go.

He is also extremely vain, and cannot stand his new body. He still holds the belief that angels are God’s most perfect creation, and greatly wishes he could be one again. Because of this he usually hides under several layers of heavy clothing, and considers both fallen angels and demons the scum of the Earth. This makes him incredibly wary of the people he comes across in Hell, to the point of paranoia. The only person he trusted was Azazel, and only because he thought he was a mindless bimbo only devoted to him.  As of right now, his biggest goal is to dethrone Satan and rule Hell, but that’s not really going to happen anytime soon (Satan himself keeps a close eye on him), so that he can gain enough power to be respected again and maybe have some legions of demons working under him. What Semjaza really wants however, is to be worshiped again as a god, like when he was still a Watcher amongst humans. Becoming an angel again would be pretty nice too, but considering his awful personality and the fact he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, this will never happen.

uuuuh more stuff I guess?

Him and Azazel are Adversary’s adoptive parents. Semjaza kidnapped her when she was still a baby because he thought having a child would save his failing relationship.

While still despising humans, he’s more open to strike deals with them, as a way to gain more power via their souls (and flesh!)

His symbol is based on the Eye of the Occult item, and is basically a bastardization of the original Watcher symbol

His clothes, while copletely different from when he was an angel, still echo come of that fashion, with the long sash bearing his symbol tied at his waist.

Being worshiped by humans left him with a taste for the finer things in life, and he prides himself in being impeccable all the time.

Usually very soft spoken, unless he’s pissed.

[sparrow-in-boots]

thoughts for my Fimbulvetr Blues AU and Loki's (quite honestly stupidly powerful) skills

Loki could be argued to be a title rather than his actual name, in that he's an "entangler", using his tricks and magic to knot people in his schemes and lies. That comes up in many ways.

His learned skills with the fairy folk of the British Isles can bind others through spoken word, and he's quite skilled in sneaking implied terms and conditions on his promises and oaths;

That said he NEVER breaks his word, whatever he promises, you can be sure he'll see it done. and he makes no promises he can't feasibly keep;

He also learned quite a bit of shadow and darkness manipulation, and it's proven to be quite handy for spying and dodging enemies;

Not only that but coupling that with illusion magic, he can keep enemies distracted with doubles while he remains hidden in the shadows, puppeteering his clones to tire out his enemy or spare himself;

Once he understands the True Nature of Fate, he can predict other's actions and even "see" the lines of their being tangling with others, snaring themselves in their own inner narratives. Therefore, pushing and tugging at those "lines" becomes almost second nature for him;

He knows exactly which buttons to push and how to get others to go along with what he seeks, even if he must play the "villain" in another'' story;

As Loki, he knows the importance of establishing himself as an antagonist for others to play off of, or project into. it's a role he's grown quite comfortable sliding into, and he plays it very well;

He's also learned that pain, like all things good and bad, is fleeting and momentary. What truly matters is the play of the game, the end goal; if one must endure pain to get to it, then it's a small price to pay;

Knowing how to manipulate souls, Loki has also learned how to manipulate divine powers. Effectively, he can take away and give back the powers of gods and other magical beings. Being such a trump power, he keeps that skill hidden well, but when Ragnarok approaches he uses it to impair and remove a few pieces off the board without needing to kill them;

Possessing the Spartan Rage from his father and the deep connection with the untamed world from his Giant heritage, it manifests in a far more wicked and devastating form. The rage isn't his own, but borne from those around him; it's the vengeful drive of those who have been denied justice and closure, the inherent balancing of the scales in the presence of lack of equilibrium;

When consumed by that bile and rage, he's engulfed in flames and becomes a furious maelstrom of fire and blood-red thunder. Among the flames are flickers of everchanging bones of a man and a wolf, simmering eyes glaring and fangs like daggers;

Fenrir is a power like no other, and though one would expect him to lose all consciousness, he's in fact not only intelligent but cunning. Far from a mindless beast as he's accused of being;

Having no solid form, Fenrir can be of any size and shape, and even be in multiple places at once. A manifestation of drive and emotion. At times he may blow out a bit of smoke and fire when disgruntled or upset, and even summon his Rage flames and lightning for a quick power-up;

His control over Fenrir doesn't come from restraining it, but from letting it come and go as needed. Like all things, anger and hate are momentary, and if he steps into the role of being a manifestation of all those bitter emotions, he can later step out of it. He is not his emotions, but he can give vent to them;

Loki is unrepentant and free of guilt for his desire for vengeance. Odin did him wrong, and he will find closure for himself and his lost sons and those who suffered like he did. War is not pretty, but sometimes it is necessary, and unjust kings must fall.

[hekateisconfused]

Okay... I need to yap about this because now that I think about it more, another thing the Miroku event hinted was how one of my most random headcanons possibly being hinted

⚠️ suicide mention!! And slight Divine Arc mentions... slight...

IGHT. SO. IF YOU DON'T KNOW, MY HEADCANON IS THAT ASURA WAS CRAZED (look at these two and TRY telling me Crazed wasn't a hybrid.)

SO. My headcanon is that somewhere during the time Momotarou was actually liked as a hero, Asura met him via a disguise and made a deal with him for power.

He didn't take the deal for selfish power, but to better protect those around him... Little did he know Asura would do the opposite.

To avoid main Divine Arc spoilers, let's just say Asura made a massive mind game that would eventually drive Momo to an absolute crisis, and finally possessed him in his weak, vulnerable state. This is when the Slasher period started, when Momotarou went from a beloved hero, to feared murderer.

Of course, Momotarou didn't want this. This was the exact opposite of what he ever wanted! He wanted to protect people, to only kill the oni that were actually evil! Not the innocent! And whenever Asura wasn't possessing him, whenever he could fend him off, his crisis only increased. He saw his his name had become soiled, how people thought it was him going insane, not how it was Asura in his body.

He didn't want this... He wanted to protect people... But as long as Asura was around, people weren't safe...

If Asura was using him as a vessel for possession... What if he wasn't alive... Making Asura have no one to possess....

He had attempted suicide three times (I don't know why I chose three- just go with it-) and succeed the third time.

But alas... It didn't work. It only fueled Asura's rage, and immediately revived him.

NOW. HOW THIS TIES IN TO THE SOMEDAY YOU EVENT (miroku event)

DURING THE LAST DUNGEON, THE ONE YOU FIGHT BASARA IN, MOMOTAROU USES FORCE TO BREAK THE TIME THINGY BASARA HAD CREATED AND WAS USING MUTSUMI TO FUEL.

Prior to breaking it though... An interaction between him and Miroku happened. Miroku telling him to wait, that it was incredibly dangerous, yet Momo still insisted that the barrier was broken, and he'd be the one to do it. In the moment, Miroku said, "That's justice, isn't it?".

For Divine Arc reasons, I can't say why, but know that even the word "justice" alone, is VERY important word to him. Momotarou immediately told Miroku that he was right, and went to break the barrier, knocking him unconscious.

IF HE WERE A NORMAL HUMAN, THIS ACT WOULD HAVE EITHER TURN HIM INTO A BABY, OR HAVE CEASED TO EXIST. HE LITERALLY ALMOST SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO DO SOMETHING GOOD. AND THE FACT THAT WHEN HE WAS TOLD THIS WHEN HE WOKE UP AND SAID HE WOULDN'T HAVE CARED.

HE LITERALLY SAID, "Even if I disappeared, it wouldn't have been anything to me.".... BRO. THAT'S NOT A NORMAL ASS THING TO SAY. THAT HINTS THAT MY SUICIDAL MOMOTAROU HEADCANON COULD BE TRUE. AND THAT'S CRAZY TO ME BECAUSE. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST MY BRAIN WANTING TO GIVE HIM ANGST. I DIDN'T THINK THAT IT HAD A CHANCE OF BEING TRUE. BUT LIKE.....!?????????!??!??!???????? I'M CRAZY.

Also for Mirotarou reasons I must add and address... The way Miroku looks at him when he said that... (Hekate try not to make everything about Mirotarou challenge. Difficulty: IMPOSSIBLE)

LOOK AT HOW FUCKING CONCERNED HE HIS ABOUT MOMOTAROU NOT CARING IF HE DIED.

AND THE FACT THAT MIROKU SAID HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY MISSED HIM IF HE DID DIE, ASKING HIM TO NOT SAY SUCH A THING...

THE WAY HIS EYES WIDEN WHEN MIROKU SAYS THAT-- HOW MUCH HE'D MISS HIM-- I'M CRAZY ABOUT THEM I'M FUCKING INSANE--

Okay yapping done I'm still not over this event and I don't think I ever will be because LORE, I PREDICTED THIS, AND HOLY MIROTAROU BRAINROT I'll probably write a fic about how I think their first kiss went in Crystalline (It's but Divine Arc though so uh, don't read it if you don't want Divine Arc spoilers HAJAJAJA)

[fangirlingpuggle]

My head has been on blast with ideas after reading your post about danny being clockwork and pariahs kid reincarnated; there is so much potential with that

Clockwork and pariah being mad at the observants cause they had to have known that danny was their kid reincarnated and must have blocked clockwork’s sight so he wouldnt realize that danny is his kid so he would actually end up killing danny, but danny reminding him so much of pariah made him reconsider and also after losing a kid he wouldnt dare take the life of one if he could avoid it

Of course the observants would need a reason to want to have danny killed and maybe its cause they knew that if he wasnt, that theyd be found out and murdered so they keep trying to get him killed and are hostile towards danny in most interactions; maybe the even staged the whole thing that lead to him becoming evil so that theyd have a reason to have danny killed?

Then theres finding out what really happened that caused danny to get killed in his past life and getting justice for that

Im thinking that pariah’s more of an ancient than a ghost of a person since hes with clockwork; his obsession would probably be something related to justice and order and having his kid die? With an obsession related to justice? It would make sense for him to go to the extreme with it and seek vengeance and justice for his child

The potential for this whole thing to be orchestrated by the observants who saw that, if the timeline continued as it was with pariah having a good reign as king, that theyd lose power and, cause they didnt want that, they had planned on killing pariah but, as you stated, that fails and they realize that killing the kid would grant them the same effect and going for that or maybe danny wouldve died cause he tried to protect his dad? Depends on how old he is when he’d died; i think you said he died young so theres the guilt potential if he wasnt old enough to have his own persona yet (like a toddler or elementary school child) but then there’s also the guilt potential if hes a rebellious? Or reckless? Kid whos trying to get the attention of his (too busy) parents so when he catches the attack on his dad of course he tries to stop it and dies and then theres the potential for parental guilt due to this

In the later scenario, it’d actually be better if the observants didnt plan to kill the child and, because it happened, they realized they could take advantage of the ensuing fallout that ultimately leads to pariah dark being sealed away, the observants retaining their power, and clockwork being so focused on his duty and his grief that he doesnt really try anything to stop them

The observants potentially having a hold over clockwork due to some oath form the past would add to the plot and make it so its not just easy destruction; pariah having to redeem himself to the allies he turned against and no longer having the power of the crown or ring of rage would also be important for creating a fun and interesting plot

I love the idea of danny just going with the flow of it cause his core makes him trust them; there was a fanfic i read a long while back where danny was the reincarnation of a prior heir to the ghost throne and how he had started getting dreams that felt like memories or had things that occurred that reminded him of certain things from his past life; im almost wondering if this would be a fun addition to this au or if he’d be too young to have memories at all from his past life

Then theres the other ghosts realizing theyd fucked up big time which is hilarious cause on one hand, angry pariah and clockwork, but also danny wouldnt let them harm the other ghosts so theyd obviously relent for their baby boy; but maybe there’d be some kind of camaraderie that occurs due to this? Maybe skulker helping them uncover the truth or something like that? Idk yet

But the whole plot with the fentons??? That’s gonna be crazy and no doubt stressful for danny cause on one hand, his parents are all he knows even though he knows they arent the best; but on the other hand, clockwork and pariah treat him well and he feels safe with them and something about them is so familiar and he doesnt quite understand it; im wondering if maybe his appearance will change now that his core is connected to his parents? Then theres the ghost biology stuff to consider; is he absorbing ectoplasm from his parents now that the connection is there? Does he gain powers that his parents have due to this? Does he get more powerful now that his ghost half is eating properly?

And when he learns whats going on?? That’s gonna be a lot for him to digest; of course danny wants to help his parents again but theyre wayyy more protective this time around so danny, being who he is, will most definitely get into shenanigans that he shouldnt be getting into which both stresses out clockwork and makes pariah proud cause hes so much like pariah even if he doesnt remember everything

Dani getting added into the mix later on and clockwork and pariah being ecstatic about it; then that creates the question of how are ghost children formed? Their two ancients formed of ideas; is it something that happens cause they wish for it and the ghost zone answers their wish? Is it a sharing of ectoplasm that forms another being that they nurse until it forms into its own being?

And of course, with the fentons being as they are and clockwork and pariah not being cool with it, there’d be the anxiety that danny would have to go through with managing how to handle that whole scenario and being conflicted about what to do; im sure jazz would be involved with this in some way or form as he figures out how the family situation is going to be after this

Id love to hear your thoughts on this!! Also, are you planning on writing a fanfic about it?

No pressure if you dont want to respond!

Hey there! Thank you so much I’m glad you like the AU idea. Sorry I am not planning on writing a fic on this AU sorry.

Yeah I thought that somehow Clockwork’s sight being blocked, like the Observants saw that and put all their effort into making sure that one detail could not be seen, like instead just being static.

The observants would probably want Danny out of the picture because if CW and Pariah find out about him being their kid then that would encourage them to work together again and be a united front and if they worked together again all the other ancients could follow and all the ancients together against them could overthrow them (It’s why they were most definitely not so sad about Pariah going mad the first time after all CW was broken after losing his son and husband and defiantly less inclined to ’act out’ and all the other ancients split apart and the observants were still in power)

I don’t think they’d have been able to interfere and act on making Danny into Dan but definitely saw that one future and pointed it out to clockwork the one who could interact and try to make sure he’s taken care of and pushed very very hard for CW to ‘take care of it’ him not was worrying but…. CW met the boy and didn’t realize so they didn’t think there was a way for CW to realize, both parents met him and didn’t realize they must have gotten off scot-free…and then Vlad did the core thing.

YES! Pariah being a ghost of order/justice is so good him losing his Kid pushing his obsession his domain/powers to the extreme and him becoming a tyrant that is such a good idea.

I defiantly pictured Danny being a toddler or very young child killed in some almost assassination against Pariah…which would totally feed into that justice/order obsession or even protection obsession.

(Or perhaps Ghost Hunters which would make things so interesting with the Fenton’s)

I think the observants didn’t plan but totally took advantage of it like I said before it fractured the ancients and ensured their continued position and power…. It’s why they didn’t exactly warn either parent about what they observed or the possibility.

 Oh clockwork having a vow to the Observants is so interesting, and that fic sounds really cool.

Oh yeah all the other ghosts realizing and freaking the FUCK OUT, they would totally help Pariah and Clockwork out and please Phantom tell them not to kill us…please.

Oh yep the Fenton thing would be very awkward (Especially if it was ghosthunters who killed Danny before) he’d defiantly develop different powers maybe completely different from both parents (He could have space powers maybe that would play into the space obsession Danny AU’s) I think he was already much more powerful than an average ghost or halfa but the core connection definitely speed the powers up.

Yeo all of this would be a lot for him, but at least now support structure to help him with everything, 2 very overprotective parents (Overprotective being an understatement) ….and fright knight stuck as babysitter/bodyguard, Fright Knight is stuck keeping Danny out of shenanigans and that is a full-time job and if he wasn’t already dead he would have died of the many heart attacks Danny has given him.

Clockwork is stressed but overly fond because yeah Danny is much like Pariah and him but also stressed out because oh god he’s so much like Pariah and him. Pariah is the parent whose told your son got into a fight and asks did he win? (Although either way he would obliterate whoever fought his son)

Yep Dani getting to the mixed would be so fun. Not sure about the ghost thing maybe core’s mixing between mates?

I can see Jazz somehow getting adopted by Pariah and CW to, her looking over the political state of the infinite realms and coming up with ideas.

Thanks the ask sorry if I didn’t answer everything I’m so glad you like this AU idea =)

[nobodyfamousposts]

BURN THE WITCH! - Part 8

Finally! It is finished.

Also...warnings I guess for itchiness. And severe scratching due to itchiness.

Here goes:

Lila was prideful. Exceedingly so. But let it not be said she was too prideful to know when it was time to jump ship.

And the ship that was Paris was sinking fast.

All thanks to Ladybug, of course. Because “Little Miss Righteousness” just had to stick her nose into Lila’s business. How dare that insect make a fool out of her?

She would have had to leave soon anyway. While she could certainly come up with a new story to fool her classmates and explain away the previous unfortunate incident, it would still be difficult since they were starting to wise up and it would be harder to keep them under her thumb if she stayed much longer. While the akuma had been dealt with and everyone’s memories erased, Lila didn’t want to take any chances.

Then there was the matter with Hawk Moth. She had some suspicion of his identity—but that was all it was: suspicion. The evidence she had to go on was circumstantial at best. Unless she could find something to confirm it, it was useless. And even if she was right, there wasn’t much likelihood that she would be able to make use of it without proof.

She clenched her fists in growing rage at the reminder.

How dare he turn on her like that?!

There was something that grated at her knowing that she would be leaving things unfinished. That she would be letting him get away unscathed. She at least wanted to get some sort of payback for him leaving her to dry.

If there was any real justice in the world, she would get the chance to try and take his Miraculous for herself. Wouldn’t that be ironic? Especially after how he had cut ties with her.

But now he would expect her to try something. He may even try to take her out himself first. It was what Lila would do in his place.

No, it was better to cut her losses. She still had the an exemplary school record. She still had her position and experience as a model to take with her. She could just move somewhere new and start over. There was nothing worth staying in Paris for anyway. She was getting bored here.

Her decision had absolutely nothing to do with Ladybug’s threat though! Ladybug was clearly the one jealous of her! She wasn’t scared of that pathetic little bug! She was too much of a goody-goody to actually do anything to Lila herself! Ladybug was supposed to be held to a higher standard, after all! She was just bluffing! She wouldn’t actually do anything to her! So Lila had no reason to be scared! And she wasn’t!

It took a moment for Lila to realize her hand holding the phone was trembling. She bit back a curse and clutched the hand with the other to hide it and force the them to still. But when that didn’t work, she set the phone on speaker before putting it on its stand on the table.

Lila’s mother, bless her, was ignorant of this inner turmoil—or if she was aware, she simply attributed it to Lila’s claims. The woman was all too willing to blindly trust her precious daughter. All Lila had to do was use that and soon Paris and all its problems would be nothing but a bad memory.

She busied with drying her hair with a towel while regaling her mother with the tale of the latest attack—albeit a heavily edited version. Honestly though, wasn’t that stupid Cure of Ladybug’s supposed to fix everything to how it was before the attack? So shouldn’t she have been dry already? And back in her new designer clothes?

As it was, her fall in the Seine had left her hair a mess, and she barely had time to simply wash it properly, much less take the good long soak she really craved. She was fortunate enough that there had been time to return home and try to clean up at all. And especially to get rid of those clothes she had “borrowed“ from Marinette’s home. The last thing she needed was to be seen running around in that. Not that there was anything wrong with the clothes themselves, but questions would no doubt arise as to where she had gotten them or why she was wearing them. And the last thing she needed was for her mother and Marinette of all people to meet.

After a moment of consideration, she twisted the towel just enough to cause her pain. With a hiss and a gasp, it sounded quite like she had been crying. Enough to fool someone who was not physically there at any rate.

“I just miss Home. It’s been so long.” She said, ending with a sniffle that may have been partly exaggerated and may have been partly a sign of a cold coming on.

“But what about your friends? You just seemed to be getting so settled in Paris. You even have a boyfriend. From what you’ve been telling me, you two are awfully close. You have a difficult enough time seeing each other as it is. Won’t moving just make it worse?”

Geez, the woman was being annoyingly persistent today.

“We can write and video chat.” Lila replied easily. She could just “break it off” later. Maybe claim he’d been cheating on her. That was usually good for some sympathy points.

Her mother paused at that. “But long distance relationships are much more difficult. And I thought you liked it in Paris? You’ve been doing so well here. I hadn’t seen you so happy in a long time.”

Of course she’d been happy. She had people devoted to her every whim, fame and connections as a model, and a cushy front row seat to the downfall of that so-called hero.

Lila narrowly avoided clicking her tongue in irritation. Why did her mother have to be so parentally concerned now of all times?

“But Mom, I’m just worried about all of the akumas!” She said with exaggerated earnesty. “This last one was really dangerous! I could have been killed!” She bit her lip and hitched her breath, as if trying to hold back tears. Or hide her lack of them. It was a good thing her mother wasn’t there to see and possibly call her out on it.

Not that she would. She was such a good mother like that. Overly trusting and easily duped. How many teenagers could say they were so lucky?

“I’ve tried to make the best of Paris, but it’s just too much!” Lila cried.

“Oh, my poor dear!” Came her mothers’s voice over the phone. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how much this move has had an effect on you.”

In that instant, she knew she had good as won. From the safety of her home and with no one in direct sight, Lila allowed herself a smug grin of victory before schooling her expression back to that of the pitiful child she wanted the older woman to see her as. No one may have been there to see it, but as an avid actress of her skill level, it helped her to match her desired tone and inflection with an appropriate expression. She gasped loudly and grabbed the phone to bring it closer to her.

“But Mom, I know how important this job is to you! I don’t want to get in the way...”

“It’s all right, dear. I can contact your aunt and have you stay with her and your cousins until I can finish things here.”

That made her frown.

Lila’s aunt was...not ideal, as her cousins had been among the earlier victims of Lila’s manipulations. She dared say her aunt favored her over any of her children by the time she’d left them. And her cousins were wary of her to say the least after the way she had played them against each other and themselves. But that had been a couple of years ago and she couldn’t be sure they hadn’t caught on and solidified their relationships to better counter her.

Still, if Paris was any indication of how easily people could be fooled and turned against one another, she could probably manage it again.

“Lila?” Her mother called, drawing her attention back. “Are you all right?”

Lila played up the uncertainty. “I don’t know…I wouldn’t want to cause you or Auntie trouble…I can just stay here.” She looked down and to the side and spoke tonelessly, the picture of a dejected daughter. “I’m sure I can just try to put my fear aside and make the best of it…”

“Nonsense!” Her mother exclaimed. “You should never have to make yourself suffer like that!”

There was the sound of papers being shifted, followed by the clicking of a mouse. No doubt her mother was already looking into the procedure on how to transfer.

“I only want you to be safe and well, mi bella.” Her mother said, softly. “And if Paris isn’t the best fit for you, then I’ll discuss the matter with the Embassy and see about ending my assignment early.”

“But Mom, you don’t have to! I can manage, really!” She half-heartedly attempted. “The heroes are even starting to do a…half-way decent job.”

Her mother scoffed. “A job that they have been at for over a year and still can’t manage! It’s clearly not safe here if the city’s own heroes can’t even do their jobs properly.”

Hook.

“But let’s get you taken out of that school first.”

Line.

Lila smirked, unseen.

“Thank you, Mom.”

Sinker.

__________________

Another loss. And a worse one, even.

Witch Hunter had been ruthless and efficient. Perhaps one of his better creations to date. Her powers to know one’s sins and enthrall anyone who heard her announcements soon gained her the entirety of Paris under her sway—and by extension, his. That the powers specifically targeted one girl would have been a disadvantage had the girl in question not had such a…sordid history. That history fortunately gave plenty of opportunities to rally others to the cause, but as evidenced from the fight, it still had limitations.

If only Lila had some ounce of subtlety. Then even Ladybug would have been affected by Witch Hunter, and both Miraculous would have been willingly handed over to him if it meant getting rid of the girl in exchange. The key had been that Ladybug’s opinion of Lila had already been so low that no “reveal” of her misdeeds had been enough to enthrall her.

How curious. He had been aware of Lila’s grudge against Ladybug, but he hadn’t realized that the feelings were mutual. Just what had Lila done to make Ladybug despise her so?

He could hazard a guess, but not any that would lead him anywhere. Lila’s list of crimes was rather extensive. And despite the knowledge he had of her, even he couldn’t boast immunity to the rage.

So what had kept Ladybug from giving up on her?

Was it Ladybug’s Miraculous that protected her? Some sort of inner strength? Or was she already aware of his use of Lila? But even if she was aware, how would that be enough?

He had been able to keep his head, but some of the things he heard had been enough to turn his stomach and make him question his alliance with her. He had been accepting at first of her audacity in how she approached him on both sides of the mask, as she presented herself as useful and willing to aid him. And she had been useful, he would give her that. Her main concern was having others under her sway and she was willing to do anything to maintain it…even remove anyone who would become a threat to her.

He hadn’t lied when he told Lila she was of no more use to him. But that hadn’t been the entire truth. Given what he now realized, she was more of a threat than he had ever considered. He couldn’t put it past her to try to figure out his identity to take his Miraculous for herself.

He took a breath.

Perhaps...he needed to reconsider the girl’s position? On both sides of the mask.

“Sir? What should be done about Lila Rossi?” While the interruption from Nathalie was timely, it didn’t truly disrupt his current thought process.

It was a good question. She had been a willing ally and useful tool in manipulating people. He certainly had praise for her skills.

But...

Perhaps he should have been more cautious and try to question just how she obtained those skills?

As well as her intentions for the future. For himself and especially for his son.

How much did she know? Had she discovered him? Did she suspect? What plans did she have? And now that she had been revealed as a willing ally, what information could others get out of her that could lead back to him?

Lila Rossi was a threat. He could see that now.

But just how much of a risk was she? How much did he risk if she were allowed to remain free? It was clear Ladybug knew of their alliance, and she would be keeping an eye on the girl from here on out. What else could she gain from Lila if he didn’t remove her?

“Sir?”

He paused, considering for a moment.

Then came to a decision.

“Nothing.”

Nathalie started at that in surprise.

“Her contract with the company will be terminated, of course.” He stated, turning to go to his desk and prepare to sign the necessary paperwork. “The company will put out an official statement that we deny any knowledge of her history or dealings, and that we disavow her actions. Anything else is already held under a nondisclosure agreement she signed upon her hiring. Though we should prepare legal action if she attempts to retaliate.”

“But…what should be done about her assistance to you as Hawk Moth?” Nathalie asked.

He straightened.

“Nothing.” He repeated. And he did not like to repeat himself.

“Sir? Is that wise? She has been an accomplice.” She warned him with a frown. “What if she has learned who you are? She could become dangerous.”

He sighed.

“She is a loose thread. But to act on it at this point and try to remove her will only backfire. Ladybug will doubtless be keeping an eye on her from now on. We would risk more if we were caught trying to get rid of her.”

“But since you left her to Witch Hunter’s mercy, she may try to retaliate against you.”

Oh, of that he had little doubt. It was in her nature to turn on those who would not play by her rules.

He had little choice at that point. Witch Hunter and all of Paris were focused solely on seeing the girl punished. He had no way of knowing Ladybug wasn’t already part of the crowd by that time. His mistake was underestimating Ladybug’s will, but even then, would he really have responded differently?

Lila Rossi had lost her use as a tool, and with her antics had used up any good will he had towards her. She lacked the subtlety or even the good sense to simply limit the extent of her lies lest she be found out and face backlash. But much like Miss Bourgeois, she seemed inclined to push the limits of what she could get away with. And unfortunately, with superheroes and villains in Paris, the bounds of what she could normally get away with had increased drastically. Even worse was that she fully seemed to believe she ‘deserved’ the praise and attention simply for claiming things she had never done.

And given how one of her first actions was to buy a trinket to pass off as a false Miraculous and proclaim herself a hero, how long would it have taken for her to decide that she ‘deserved’ a Miraculous as well?

“It was only a matter of time before she set her sights too high. It would be better to cut her off now before she got any ideas about taking a Miraculous, even if it was my own.”

He couldn’t put it past her. Because as much as she despised Ladybug, how could such a girl be satisfied only with her destruction? If she did aid in Ladybug’s defeat, she’d likely just take the Ladybug Miraculous for herself at the first opportunity, and then Gabriel would be back at square one.

No, worse. Because Lila Rossi wouldn’t risk herself for others. It was highly likely she would run away with the Miraculous and then he would lose any chance of obtaining it in this lifetime.

…

Lila Rossi had her uses, but it was best to cut his losses with her now. And Witch Hunter had been the prime time to do so.

It would have been foolish of him to risk his hold over Witch Hunter just to spare Lila at that point. But there was no doubt that she will seek retribution for it. She was certainly spiteful enough, even when it would be to her own detriment.

Still…

“That girl has caused enough problems. We don’t need her interfering with our plans.“

Nathalie clutched her tablet, still worried. “But if she knows…if she tries to reveal you…”

“Lila Rossi is a liar.” He stated as he pulled up news footage of the latest akuma fight. “She is a liar and now people know it. Anything she thinks she knows, we can dismiss as a jilted teenager with delusions of grandeur and an unhealthy interest in my son.”

He paused for a moment, then leaned back in his chair to look to his assistant.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the tale of the ‘Boy Who Cried Wolf’?”

“I am familiar with it, yes.” She replied, albeit confused as to the sudden subject change. “But what does that have to do with this?”

“In the story, the boy is eaten. But his final claim is ultimately proven true, for all the good it does him.” He looked back to the footage, pausing it on Lila’s expression while she was on the pyre.

“But if we do not respond…if Hawk Moth does nothing to silence her, there is no ‘proof’ to her claims. People will suspect it to be another lie. Even moreso, that it’s merely an attempt to get back at me as her ‘former employer’. There will be no ‘wolf’ to validate her claims, even once she’s gone. So yes, we will leave Miss Rossi to her daily life. Let her say what she may think she knows.”

He smirked.

“She could scream it to the world and no one would believe her.”

__________________

It took a while for them to have their conversation and for Marinette to dry her tears. By the time she was able to reach some level of calm, it was almost time to return to school.

One would think that they would be allowed the rest of the day to recover from the akuma attack, but Paris as a whole and the school in particular seemed used to the frequent interruptions by this point. Though perhaps it was more of a testament to Ladybug’s efficiency in dealing with akumas.

…as well as the efficiency of the civilians to set up an entire festival on a spur of the moment. Perhaps she should recommend they try another one at some point? One that doesn’t involve lighting anyone on fire?

When she went downstairs, she found her parents in something of a state of worry. They looked up in surprise when she came down, but were relieved to see her.

“Marinette? When did you get home? I didn’t see you come in.” Tom said.

“A little while ago. We must have just missed each other.” Marinette replied quickly. Then frowned when she notice their expressions. “Is everything okay?”

“There was an akuma attack earlier and one of your schoolmates came here.” Sabine explained. “We had tried to help her and allowed her to change clothes here into something dry, but she took it upon herself to go into your room.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “What?!”

“I don’t know what she was doing in there.” Sabine huffed, angrily. “When I caught her, she tried to claim she had gotten lost. Then your father had gotten a text message from Nadja about a ‘Witch’ and she took off running.”

Lila. There was no one else it could have been. Which meant she had probably done something to sabotage her.

Great. Just great.

They had checked her room and taken pictures of how she left it since they were uncertain of what she may have messed with. As it stood, they wanted to know if anything had been stolen and were questioning whether to call the police.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Her father told her.

“We both are. She was soaked and we had wanted to give her some privacy while she changed.” Sabine shook her head. “I hadn’t thought she would go roaming around the house, much less sneak into your room.”

Tom rested a hand on Sabine’s shoulder. “We should follow up on this though. Maybe Roger will have some advice.”

Sabine nodded to him before turning to her daughter. “Will that be all right, dear?”

Marinette hesitated.

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t frustrated. With them. With the situation. All of it.

In their defense, they hadn’t realized it was Lila. And even if they had, they weren’t aware of just how horrible Lila truly was. Despite Marinette’s pleas of innocence during her expulsion, her parents hadn’t fully taken her word for it and even afterwards hadn’t quite believed that Lila was a chronic liar.

But there was a part of her—the part that was still full of indignant anger over the incident and would have formed the core of the Princess Justice akuma Hawk Moth had wanted her to be—that blamed them. If they had just listened to her back then. If they had simply heard her out. If they had believed her about Lila.

They should have known. They should have recognized Lila. They should have remembered what she had done before and at the very least thought to keep an eye on her just in case she tried anything like she had before.

…but Marinette didn’t have it in her to hold a grudge. Especially after what she had seen with Lila and her own grudge.

It wasn’t their fault, it was Lila’s. And while she was irritated with her parents for their negligence, she was willing to forgive them and keep her focus on the one who really deserved her ire.

So for now, she would try to move forward and do what she could.

“I’m not happy about it. But if anything can be done, I’d like to see if we could.”

Her parents agreed and offered reassurances that they would try to address the issue. They also promised her they would be more cautious in the future, which was nice fo them. They offered to let her stay home from school, but that was one thing she had to turn down.

Whatever Lila had done, Marinette probably wouldn’t know until Lila revealed it. It made her dread returning to school. But she couldn’t keep putting it off. If she went now, she could at least try to meet with the others and head off anything Lila could do.

So she made a quick rush to the kitchen to get a small lunch for herself and some cookies for Tikki. With her parents otherwise occupied, that meant that Tikki could come out of hiding and they could talk freely for a bit longer.

“Marinette, maybe you should take a break and stay home for the rest of the school day?” Tikki suggested. And wow, she was certainly taking this ‘be more supportive’ role to heart.

Something in Marinette warmed at that. And in any other circumstances, she would happily have taken Tikki’s advice.

“I’m fine, Tikki. Really.”

Tikki frowned, clearly not buying it. “But you’ve spent half of your day dealing with the crisis caused by Lila and then the akuma that was caused by that crisis, all while trying to keep Lila safe. Even when she was working against you.”

Yeah. There was that.

“You did a lot today. Both as Ladybug and Marinette.” Tikki continued. “No one would fault you if you let yourself recover.”

Marinette hesitated at that.

It was tempting. She was tired. And if she was being honest, she really just wanted to sleep and not deal with anything until tomorrow at least.

But…

She bit her lip.

For all that Tikki’s words made sense and clearly came from a place of concern for her, Marinette couldn’t help but be reminded of only a couple hours ago where Tikki had been trying to convince her to let Lila burn.

She knew that this was different. A matter of self care and health. But even though it’s something she’s wanted and something she appreciates hearing from her kwami, it still felt so strange now that she was experiencing it.

This was something she was going to have to get used to. And she would, she was sure. After all, Tikki was clearly trying for her. And Marinette wanted nothing more than to reciprocate—and also to just drop off into sweet blessed sleep…

However…

“I need to see this through.” She stated, resolutely.

She needed to get back to the school. Both for class and to check on her friends.

After all, even if her Miraculous Cure had fixed the damage caused from the akuma, that didn’t mean her friends were fine. And she still wanted to check in on Rose at the very least.

Tikki looked up at her sadly. Then she floated over and nuzzled Marinette’s cheek, showing her silent support.

It only took a few minutes to gather the rest of her things and make her way to the school.

Even if Tikki assured her that what happened wasn’t her fault, Marinette still felt the need to apologize to Rose for what had happened. Maybe they could still find some way to fix things.

She reached the school in minutes and had almost immediately run into one of her classmates.

Just not the one she had been expecting.

“Adrien?”

He spun to face her, appearing nervous. Even panicked.

“Oh, hey! Marinette! Hi! Hey, um…hey.” He finished, looking embarrassed. “How…are you?”

“I’m fine. Just…have a lot on my mind.” She shrugged. “Just…with Rose and the akuma and everything.”

“Good. That’s good. Well, not good-good about the akuma. But good that you’re okay. Um. Me too.” He looked away, clearly still nervous.

She frowned in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Fine! I’m fine! Just…y’know…got caught up in the akuma attack and was one of her minions for a while. But Ladybug saved me so we’re good.” He said with a not fully sincere smile.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” She hadn’t recalled seeing Adrien among the mob. But given how big it had gotten, she wouldn’t be surprised.

He hesitated for a moment before speaking. 

“Marinette…one of the things Witch Hunter said…” He looked her in the eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me Lila had threatened you?”

She straightened in shock. “What?!”

He rubbed the back of his head, looking to the ground. “I’m sorry, it’s just…she said a lot of things Lila had done that I hadn’t known. Like…well…” The book. Her framing Adrien for insulting Nino. Her working with his father. “How she threatened you?”

“Oh.” She said, a bit blankly. Because what else could she say?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He implored her. “I had said we were in this together, but…you didn’t tell me she did that.”

It was true. She hadn’t.

But…why hadn’t she?

“I…didn’t think it was a big deal?”

Why was she asking him instead of telling him?

“Not a big—Marinette, she threatened you!” His eyes widened in realization. “Her expelling you was part of her threat, wasn’t it?”

She flinched, but nodded.

“Just…why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you! I would have done more!”

She waved her hands frantically, trying to console him. “It’s okay, Adrien! Really! You were only—it was just…”

A tap at her leg caught her attention. It came from her purse. A quick glance downward revealed Tikki looking up at her from the safety of the clutch she carried with her. The little kwami remained hidden to Adrien, fortunately, but visible to her. Tikki looked up at her with wide eyes and gave a smile and small nod of encouragement.

Why would she—?

Oh.

Oh, right.

“No.” She admitted. “It’s not okay.”

She had been spending months now convincing herself that things were okay when they weren’t. That she was okay when she wasn’t. And that if she at any point felt she wasn’t okay, it was a failing on her part.

That wasn’t a healthy way to live, as she was only just now starting to understand that.

“I don’t know if you realize this, but I’ve been listening to you on things because I look up to you. I took your advice because I trusted you and believed that you only had everyone’s best interest at heart.”

“But I did!” He insisted automatically before catching himself. “I mean, I thought I was...”

“I trusted you over my own intuition. I listened to you when you kept emphasizing the feelings of others over my own. Chloe was bad enough, but Lila too? Even if they were the ones who were horrible, it felt like I was expected to just...” She struggled for a moment to find the wording to accurately convey her feelings before simply shrugging. “Just deal with it.”

He winced. He hadn’t realized the impact he’d had.

“Because of that,” she continued, “whenever I started to have an issue, I brushed it off because I figured that if there was a problem with someone and something they were doing...well, it was just me, right? So I had to do the right thing. I had to be the bigger person. I had to be the ‘Everyday Ladybug’. Even when I didn’t feel like I could be.”

She took a breath.

“And that wasn’t fair to me.”

He looked up at her. Sad and worried and sympathetic all in one. “I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t matter. I just thought...”

“Chloe’s your friend so it makes sense that you’d want to defend her.” Marinette reasoned. “But Lila, too?” She wrung her hands. “They both did horrible things. They both hurt me...really badly. And it felt like you’ve cared more about their feelings than mine.”

“That’s not it!” He exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. “I just...I know they aren’t then nicest, but they’re struggling. It’s…harder for them than it is for you.“

“If they’re having a hard time, it’s because it’s entirely of their own making. Chloe has been bullying everyone for years, so it’s not our fault that we don’t want to continue to deal with that mistreatment. And Lila has been actively lying to everyone not to be like, but just so she can manipulate them. I get that you care, but your attempts to protect the people you see as ‘needing it’ has resulted in harm to other people who don’t deserve it. You aren’t just enabling them...you’re rewarding them.

“You said to take the highroad, but whatever the highroad is, I don’t think that’s it.”

He gaped at her, some combination of shocked and horrified.

“But I haven’t been encouraging any of this! I tried to help you! I made a deal with her so she would get you back into school.“

Well, that was something she hadn’t known. Although his sudden friendliness with Lila had been suspicious. As had the schools sudden change of heart about her expulsion. But she hadn’t realized the two had been related.

She was grateful to him. Truly. He had only done it for her.

However...

“I never asked you to.”

She wouldn’t have wanted it had she known.

“I never asked you to become Lila’s toy or put yourself in such a bad position for my sake. I only asked you to stand by me and support me.”

She had turned to him that day, wanting him—just someone who knew the truth to speak up in her defense.

To say she was innocent.

To admit that Lila had lied.

To just say she was believed. That she was worth believing in.

“And you didn’t.“

He stared at her. Long and hard. As if this had never occurred to him before. He seemed unable to speak for a full minute.

Until…

“I’m sorry.“

She jumped in surprise.

“I was a hypocrite. I knew she was lying but I convinced myself it wasn’t that bad. And even when I knew people were hurt, it didn’t matter until her lies hurt me.”

He gave a weak laugh.

“Witch Hunter…did you know? The way her power worked was that you only fell under her spell when she announced something Lila did that truly makes you angry.”

He covered his face. In resignation? In guilt?

“I only fell under Witch Hunter’s spell when she revealed Lila had been spying on me for my father. Not when I found out what she did to Rose. Not when I found out what she did to Nino. Not even when I found out what she did to you.” He shook his head. “It only mattered, really truly mattered when it affected me.”

He hung his head in shame.

“I’m a real jerk.”

The denial was automatic on her lips.

“You aren’t a jerk!” She insisted. “You were just—”

He gave a bitter laugh, cutting her off.

“I was so proud of myself that day. When I told you to take the highroad and not out Lila.”

He looked up at her smiling humorlessly.

“Do you know what it’s like to watch you? All the time, I see you doing the right thing. Standing up for people. Doing things to make people happy. Making things better.”

He sighed.

“It felt...it felt good being the one you would listen to and follow.” He admitted. “You were looking up to me and taking my advice. I was so proud of myself! I got to be the one who had solved the problem and made everything better!” He announced with a wave of his hands in an exaggerated fashion before slumping down.

“I’m such an idiot.”

She stared.

He…really admired her that much?

And at that time, he’d just been trying to impress her?

That…hadn’t been the inclination she had gotten at all. It had just felt that he was admonishing her at those times for not being the bigger person. Looking back, now that she was willing to admit it, it had felt like more expectations and double standards.

“I can’t say what you did was okay, because it wasn’t. Lila was able to hurt me. And now she’s hurt Rose and everyone else now because neither of us spoke up when we should have.”

She took a breath.

“But I think I get it. About wanting someone you care about to listen and look up to you. Because that was how I’ve felt about you.”

He jumped and looked up at her in surprise.

Because when it came down to it, hadn’t she been the same? Doing things that had hurt her or others because she had been so focused on Adrien and wanting him to think well of her?

Was it ironic that it was only now, after everything that had happened this day, that she could finally voice even a bit of the feelings she has for him?

They just weren’t the feelings she thought she’d ever be sharing…

But maybe, she thought as she felt Tikki’s comforting presence by her side, these were the ones she needed to?

“It hurts that even when I’m doing the right thing and you say you’re with me, it still feels like you’re not really on my side. Even—especially when I’ve let things get this far at your request.”

“I didn’t mean—I’m sorry—” He started, but he broke off as she raised a hand to stop him.

“I just...” She shook her head. “If we really are friends, I wish you would show it more. And...that you would stand up for me the way you do for them.”

He stared at her in shock. Perhaps a bit of horror as her words really got to him.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured. “I never meant to make you feel that way. I never wanted you to think I don’t care.”

He stood straight and held out his arms to her in clear indication of…something. But she was exhausted—both mentally and physically as it was and her mind was a bit slow to catch just what he was intending to do.

“I know you can handle things, Marinette. You’re strong. And brave. It’s why I know I can trust you when things get tough. But…that you can handle things doesn’t mean you should have to. It doesn’t mean you don’t need support.”

He smiled at her. And oh damn, that smile. It was like a miniature sun and she couldn’t help but stare even as her brain was yelling at her to look away.

The next thing she knew, she was in his arms and…oh…this must be how being held by the sun felt like…

“I want to be someone who you can count on to support you, Marinette.”

Oh. Okay. Nice. This was nice. More of this please. More of just all of this.

The hug must have lasted an eternity. An hour at least? Because it felt like forever until she was drawn out of the soothing feeling by a rumbling and a series of sounds that seemed to mean something…

Could she just…stay like this? For a day or two? Maybe the rest of her life? Tikki tried, bless her, but kwami arms just weren’t the same as human arms and the feeling of being wrapped up in sunshine was bliss.

Oh wait, he was talking more. She should probably be listening right now.

“—contract. Maybe I could talk to them? See what else they know of that could help?”

“Hmm?”

She was dazed and completely out of it, something Adrien seemed to pick up on as he released his hold (noo, don’t do that!) and backed away (noooooo) to arm’s length to look her over.

“Marinette? Are you okay?”

She blinked a few times as her mind reoriented to where she was.

And more specifically to who she was with.

“Oh! Right! Fine! You’re fine—I mean, I’M fine. Just…” She sighed, rubbing at one eye with the palm of her hand. “Just a…long day.”

Maybe she should have stayed home after all if just one hug could do that…

Adrien seemed to notice this and frowned in concern. He took in her state and apparently there was something about her appearance she had missed earlier because he seemed to get the same idea.

“Marinette, are you okay? If you’re tired, maybe you should go home and rest?”

She shook her head insistently. “No. I can’t.”

He rested a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to push yourself. Remember? I’m going to support you. And I know everyone else would understand.”

She didn’t think they wouldn’t. But as much as she just wanted to sleep until tomorrow and skip the rest of this day, she wasn’t sure she would be able to relax at home if she didn’t know what was happening with her friends.

“If nothing else, I want to check up on Rose.” Seeing that he looked ready to argue, she rushed on. “I need this. Please.”

He hesitated. And she was worried he would push the issue, because she was sure that she would give in if he did. She just did not have the energy to argue at this point. Fortunately though, he seemed to understand as he took her arm in his.

“Okay. But I’ll be right here with you.”

Any other day, she would be a stammering mess if Adrien were to take her arm and walk with her like this.

Today, she was simply grateful.

__________________

It didn’t take them too long to find Rose. She was in the hallway talking with Alya. The two seemed deep in conversation that they didn’t notice the duo approach.

“Rose!” Marinette exclaimed, loosening her arm from Adrien’s hold and rushing to her friend. “Are you okay?”

The blonde looked up at her, tearful.

“I’m okay.” She murmured as she wiped at her eyes. 

“But are you?” Alya broke in, asking Marinette. “Girl, I saw the footage!”

Marinette blinked.

“Footage?” She asked, and then started to back away at the expression on Alya’s face.

Alya could be headstrong, but she never really got angry. Upset, certainly. Annoyed, often. But even in the heights of Lila’s worst attempts to make Marinette look bad, Alya had never truly gotten angry—just righteous and in Marinette’s opinion that was admittedly a bit resentful at the time, acting a bit superior. Perhaps the only time she had ever seen her friend look truly angry was during Hero’s Day, and even then it took a hit from Dark Cupid and Hawk Moth’s control to get her there.

So seeing Alya looking ready to claw someone’s eyes out was…unsettling, to say the least.

Even Adrien apparently seemed to think so, as he moved up to Marinette and almost seemed to position himself slightly between them. “Alya? What happened?”

Despite Adrien’s attempt to act as a barrier, Marinette tried to reach out, concerned for her friend’s state. The way she was looking, Marinette half wondered if she wasn’t still affected by Witch Hunter. A quick glance to a worried Rose disproved that easily enough, but perhaps it was a remnant of her power the Cure missed? “Are you okay?”

“What do you mean am I okay? Are YOU okay?!” Alya shouted, pointing at Marinette. “Girl, I saw what what happened with you and Lila!”

Marinette jumped. Her mind immediately raced to her call out of Lila just a little over an hour ago. Did someone record her going off? Was there something that had revealed her as Ladybug? Had she messed up?!

“What?! No wait—it’s not what you—I didn’t mean—!”

Alya was pulling up her phone, and by the time she turned it so that Marinette and Adrien could see, the video already started playing. The video was recorded from someone within the akuma’s mob—not yet grown to the level of the city yet.

Marinette briefly recognized that the location in the video seemed familiar but hadn’t quite registered how when a sudden commotion caught the attention of the group. The person recording turned the camera sharply, which blurred and then focused on a fallen figure a short distance away.

“—conspirator helping the Witch! Someone grab her!”

…oh. That figure was her.

And the moment when Lila had betrayed her and tried to sacrifice her to the mob.

“Hey! That’s Marinette!” Came Alya’s voice from the phone, shortly followed by the exclamations from the crowd that Marinette already knew were coming because she had lived this and yet despite seeing it on record, she still struggled to believe it actually happened.

…the crowd leaving her alone part. Not the Lila betraying her part. THAT, she could believe no question.

“I can’t believe she would do that!” Alya exclaimed. The real Alya. The present one. Who was standing in front of her and not the one in the phone—who was almost disturbingly cheerful in how she was calling for Lila’s blood.

…to be honest, Marinette wasn’t sure whether that mob Alya or the furious one in front of her scared her more. Present Alya, for her part, was clearly NOT happy about the events.

Neither was Adrien, apparently, as he grabbed the phone from Alya and looked to be furious himself.

“Wait—Lila did WHAT?!” He demanded. And…wow, was this what Adrien had been like as part of the mob? She hadn’t known he could get that angry.

“She tried to throw Marinette to the mob!” Alya bit out.

“I can’t believe it!”

“How could she—?!”

“When Marinette had just been trying to help her!”

“That lousy little b—”

“WHY did she even think that was necessary?!”

“Is it too late to torch her and say the akuma did it?”

Marinette looked between the two, feeling that she should be saying something but honestly, just getting all the more overwhelmed.

A hand on her arm broke her attention away from the two and back to poor Rose, who looked almost to the point of tears again.

“I’m so sorry, Marinette! I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Oh Rose, you deserved better than this.

“No! You actually let me go.” She insisted, much to the blonde’s visible relief. “You were focused only on Lila. And aside from getting people to help you hunt her down, you didn’t do anything to anyone else.”

If anything, the people of Paris seemed pretty happy for the excuse.

…maybe she really needed to talk to the Mayor about having a fun festival to just let everyone blow off steam?

She could focus on that later though. She shook her head and returned her attention to Rose. The girl still looked nervous, but less worried at least. That was good.

Rose sniffled. “I didn’t know. I’ve just been scared to see what my akuma did.”

“No one was hurt in the end.” Marinette assured her. “Ladybug came and stopped it. Nobody was hurt.”

Because Rose never really wanted to hurt anyone, she was sure. Even if it was Lila.

At most, maybe Lila got a little smokey smell to her. And a lot wet. But she survived. And without burns.

Rose seemed to slump in relief. “I’m so glad.”

And this…this right here was why it was worth it. Because the difference in Rose’s posture and expression within a few seconds meant a situation she could feel move on from versus a guilt she would be carrying with her all her life.

“I can't believe I almost did that! What did I become!?" Rose cried.

“You were akumatized. You were rightfully enraged by someone you thought was a friend taking advantage of you. Honestly, the only reason I didn't join in is because nothing about her shocks me anymore.”

Despite the attempt at reassurance, the smaller girl drew in on herself more. She rubbed at her eyes to wipe away tears and merely nodded at Marinette’s words. Hearing, but not fully agreeing. Or maybe it was the reminder that Marinette had known and tried to reveal Lila sooner to no avail.

Of all people, Rose didn’t deserve this. None of the classmates did, but Rose had been particularly trusting and was affected the worst because of this.

She couldn’t help it. She hugged Rose. If Adrien’s hug earlier had been so nice for her, maybe this could help the smaller girl in turn.

Rose certainly seemed to appreciate it as she hugged back…quite strongly, actually. Marinette had known Rose had some upper body strength given how she had been able to carry Chloe during the Zombizu attack but wow. Rose was smaller than Adrien, but her hug was just as warm but more tight.

Marinette lost herself a bit in the comfort she was giving and receiving. She barely even noticed that Adrien and Alya were still talking. She was peripherally aware that it was happening, but once again had lost track of what they were actually saying.

She had checked on Rose and made sure she was doing…well even if not fully okay. Maybe this was a sign she should go home?

“LIAR!”

It seemed it wasn’t to be, however, as a sudden commotion caught her notice, dragging her attention to a gathering down the hall.

And suddenly, Marinette was wide awake.

__________________

“—trusted me. Ladybug knew I would never do such a thing! That’s how she was able to ward off Witch Hunter.”

Lila giggled.

“You could say that the ‘power of friendship’ saved the day!”

Of course she was lying through her teeth once again. Not that she needed to at this point, really. Her mother was firmly in her corner and Lila would be getting to leave Paris soon enough. But there was a part of her that wanted to see if she couldn’t convince them one more time.

While she may not have a chance of getting revenge on Hawk Moth, she at least wanted some victory to take with her when she left. After all, Lila was hardly one to simply let things go and let this end without a last hurrah. No, if anything, when the chips were down, she was used to going all in. And if she lost? Well, not like it mattered if she wasn’t there to pay afterwards.

This time would be no different.

Truthfully, the only reason she was at the school at all was so her mother could file the paperwork to transfer her out. She hadn’t really wanted to go, but she had needed to be there to run interference in case anyone attempted to approach her. It had been part of the reason she had insisted on going despite her “harrowing” experience. Her mother had insisted on starting the process to remove Lila from the school immediately. And while she was sure no one would recognize the woman if she arrived alone, Lila knew she had to be there to “lead” the discussion between her mother and the Principal, as well as protect her mother from hearing any untoward rumors that could taint her view of her loving and trusted daughter.

Lila hadn’t intended to be caught by her soon to be former classmates. The original plan had been to simply disappear from their lives and leave them with their guilt and uncertainty. It was part of the reason she had agreed to come with her mother to the school so soon, as she had expected that everyone should be in class by the time they arrived. But her mother had gotten out earlier than expected, and people were still milling about the school.

She had kept her head down and hoped that no one would notice her. But luck was not in her favor it seemed, as Bustier had been late for some unknown reason, so her students had chosen to hang out in the hallways instead of waiting in the classroom or simply calling it a day and going home early.

A minor hiccup. She was sure that they would be forced to leave once class started. She separated from her mother with the pretense of saying goodbye to all of her friends, in the actual intention of simply buying time until the teacher returned and called them away. Her mother and Damocles had even seemed eager for her to, reassuring her that they did not need her and ushering her out of the room, which was all the more in her favor she supposed.

And really, how could she resist one more opportunity to see them dance for her?

After this, she would be home free. Not like they could do anything to her across international borders even if they did try.

There was no risk to her at this point. So It was worth pushing to see just how far she could milk this.

And these were the best saps a girl could ask for.

The present classmates listened to her tale of woe. Though  only a fraction of the crowd she would normally draw and not quite as eager as they used to, they were still listening to her patiently at least instead of simply blowing her off or calling her out. Which meant there was still a chance they would believe her.

A few of them actually seemed to be buying her story. And it had been one of her better tales, in her personal opinion. There were one or two that rolled their eyes—which, rude. A couple who seemed disinterested. But most of the rest seemed uncertain.

It was a shame Rose wasn’t there. Lila was sure that she would especially appreciate the performance. Though part of her was relieved, since she figured that the emotional girl would probably start crying if she had been.

Though there was also no Marinette either, which meant no one to counter her story as she had no doubt the little Miss Perfect would.

“You’re really saying that Marinette handed you off to the violent mob?”

That also meant she wasn’t there to defend herself either.

Lila hunched her shoulders and brought up a hand to her face in a nervous expression. “It’s not her fault. I’m sure it was because of the akuma. Even she wouldn’t turn on me like that just because she doesn’t like me…”

Cry her a river? She’d be seeing Marinette cry a river once she was done here. If she accomplished nothing else before she left, she would at least make sure Marinette Dupain-Cheng regretted talking to her like that.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t have done it if she was herself.” Mylene reached forward to comfort her but stopped a foot away and immediately decided to back off and keep her hands to herself. She coughed into her hand and looked away.

Lila frowned, scratching her head. What was that about?

She shook it off and kept to her plan. Play up the innocent act and leave them guessing until it was time to go. Whatever happened after that was their problem.

“I was so scared.” Lila whimpered. “Her expression at that time was…terrifying.”

Some more of the classmates looked sympathetic. Yet none of them approached her. Now that Lila noticed, there was a distinct space between her and the rest of the class. No one would come within five feet of her.

She hugged herself, looking the picture of wounded and helpless. “I was just lucky I was able to get away after she outted my hiding place to the mob.”

“LIAR!”

Everyone jumped to see a fuming Alya approach. A somewhat less visibly angry but still no doubt displeased Adrien was right behind her.

Both of them were focused completely on Lila.

Lila gasped, as if hurt. “What do you—”

“Can it.” Alya cut her off immediately, not even giving her a chance to spin some new lie. “You can’t be trusted, Lila. Or did you think we would forget about earlier?”

“That was a misunderstanding.” Lila explained, raising her hands in a peaceful gesture. “You weren’t here, but I had already told everyone what happened and why.”

“Oh really?” Alya asked, clearly disbelieving.

“She said that she was hit by an akuma before the attack today and only snapped out of it after Rose was akumatized.” Alix stated with a droll tone and an expression that said she didn’t believe it either.

Alya gave Lila a flat stare. “Do you actually expect us to believe that?” 

“It’s the truth.” Lila rested a hand over her heart akin to an oath before curling her fingers and drawing in on herself as if pained. “I was horrified when I woke up and realized what had happened.”

“Then where is the money?” Alya demanded. 

Lila resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Usually Alya would take her at her word, which was useful when others in turn trusted her for her reporting skills. It worked to her advantage when Alya believed her, but having those skills turned on her was a real pain.

“Hawk Moth must have taken it.” She suggested. It couldn’t be proven, of course, but it couldn’t be disproven either. And this group was particularly gullible and willing to believe the best in anyone regardless of common sense.

Except this time, apparently.

“If Hawk Moth needed money, we would be seeing akumas robbing banks, not stealing donations from teenagers for a fake charity.” Kim pointed out.

“He was probably being discreet.” Lila said hastily.

“Stealing money from a charity isn’t discreet!” Alya shouted, drawing even more attention much to Lila’s annoyance.

“Everyone already knows you lied and pocketed the money. The very least you could do is admit it.“ Adrien said, looking rather cross.

Of all the times for the doormat to actually try to stand up on his own, did it have to be now?

Lila gasped, looking hurt. Internally, she was annoyed more than anything. He was supposed to be passive. He’d never stood out like this before!

“But Adrien, you said we were friends, remember?”

It was a reminder of their “deal”. As well as a thinly veiled threat of what she would have free reign to do if that deal was broken. Not just to Marinette, but to him as well. After all, Adrien knew about Lila’s lies all along and did nothing. If he was going to out her here, she would be dragging him down with her.

“I said we were friends as long as you didn’t hurt anyone I care about!” Adrien corrected her. “And you have! You hurt Kagami. You hurt Marinette. And now you’ve hurt Rose!”

“Wait—dude! You knew?” Nino asked, looking hurt.

“I knew she was a liar.” Adrien admitted to everyone. He looked down in shame. “I didn’t want to say anything because I thought…” He paused before shrugging. “Well, I thought a lot of things that were wrong.”

“Dude.” Kim muttered.

Ivan gave Adrien a stern glare. “You owe Rose. Big time.”

“Marinette, too.” Alya added, gesturing to the pig-tailed girl who had approached the group alongside Rose.

“I know.” Adrien nodded and turned to the two, even going so far as to bow lowly from the waist. “And I’ll accept any punishment if it means you will all forgive me for not speaking up sooner.”

He knew better now. The absence of overt conflict doesn’t mean that the problem is solved. He had thought he was fixing problems, but really, he was only dealing with symptoms.

Rose looked uncertain. She stared at Adrien, biting her lip. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a touch to her shoulder. Looking up in surprise, she saw Marinette and remembered that the other girl had still been beside her. Even now, she was acting as a support.

Marinette patted her on the shoulder and smiled at her reassuringly. “It’s up to you.”

Rose looked back to Adrien.

He hadn’t been the one who did it. But he knew…if not that Lila was lying, then at least that she was a liar. He knew and he didn’t say anything. Which…well, wasn’t AS bad as Lila actually lying, but still bad.

She frowned.

“I want your endorsement on the charity.”

“Done.”

“And a cake for the class as an apology.”

“Just tell me what flavor.”

“And for you to take Marinette on a date to a fancy restaurant.”

“I’ll check my sched—wait, what?” He asked, standing up straight.

Marinette covered Rose’s mouth before she could repeat herself.

“Just the first two will be fine.” She said, flushing with embarrassment. Because really Rose?

Rose, for her part, gave her an annoyed look but didn’t fight her. Nor did she attempt to keep up the demand even after Marinette released her.

“Are you sure?” He asked, holding up a hand to her as if in offering. “After everything, a nice meal would be the least I could do.”

Then he smiled.

And suddenly, Marinette’s initial willpower just took a hit.

“It’ll be my treat.” He promised.

Marinette felt herself heat up at that. He hadn’t seemed to notice the ‘date’ part of Rose’s statement, but seemed rather stuck on the idea of getting a dinner together and Marinette knew she shouldn’t, but she didn’t want to say no either…

The classmates were all grinning or sending each other knowing looks. Alya was getting her phone out to record for blackmail future wedding material. Rose was beaming excitedly. They were all glad that some good was coming out of this.

Except, of course, for Lila.

Any cheerful atmosphere or chatter immediately died at the way Lila cleared her throat. Somehow, she just seemed to draw all attention to herself. The others looked to her in question. But Marinette, who knew Lila well enough to know she was plotting something, only felt dread.

“But is that really appropriate?” Lila asked, innocently. She rubbed at her arm. “After all, you wouldn’t want Adrien to be leading on Marinette the way he did me.”

The others stared. “What?”

Marinette paled.

Oh. Oh, this was going down a bad road, she could feel it.

Adrien glared. “I never led you on, Lila.”

Lila chuckled cheerfully. “Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, of course. But taking a girl out to a fancy dinner would…well…certainly imply things. Especially if the girl in question already is enamored with you.”

He blinked.

“What?”

“She holds feelings for you.”

A moment’s pause.

“You mean…as a friend?” He asked.

…seriously? Was he not getting it?

“She is clearly crushing on you.” Lila stated flatly.

Adrien stared.

“…What?”

Lila sighed in irritation. “Why else do you think she always freaks out around you? The stammering? The nervous giggling? The weird statements that don’t fit the context?”

Marinette pulled at her pigtails in frustration. Because of course. Of-freaking-course Lila would sink this low!

Adrien blinked, then rubbed his chin. “I thought it was because of the way I kept surprising her? Like approaching her from behind. Or appearing behind her locker right as she closes it.”

Nino squinted at his friend. “Which I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you even do that?”

“Not the point.” Lila cut in before turning back to Adrien. “Seriously, Adrien, didn’t you wonder why she had all those posters of you in her room?”

“Because she’s a fan. She even told me as much.” He stated.

Lila stared as Adrien beamed at his Very Good Friend. “And it’s kind of nice knowing that a fashion designer like Marinette likes what I do. And looks up to my father.” He snapped his fingers in realization. “Hey! Maybe I could see if you can’t meet my dad sometime!”

Marinette smiled uncertainly and just…sort of nodded. “That sounds nice.”

Because really, what else could she do at this point?

Lila gaped in growing outrage.

Was…was he just going to keep ignoring her? To focus on…THAT?

“What? No! Adrien, she is crushing on you! Like…obsessively!” Lila exclaimed.

Adrien seemed to be getting annoyed with Lila’s continued interruptions, given the look he threw her. “Lila, do you really have to keep making things up?”

“I’m not making this up!”

“Yeah,” Alix said sarcastically. “Just like the charity.”

“And Marinette leaving you to the akuma.” Alya added, still clearly angry about that.

“And everything else you’ve ever said.”

Lila growled. “But this is true! And I have proof!”

With a smirk, Lila held out her phone, showing the picture she had taken earlier of the schedule inside Marinette’s room.

“See? Marinette has your schedule on her calendar!” She exclaimed.

Adrien frowned at her, disapprovingly. “Are you seriously making things up now just to make Marinette look bad?”

Marinette winced. 

He was really keeping his word and trying to support her. She knew in this moment that if she denied it, Adrien would believe her. And it may save face and protect her from any further humiliation.

As well as sticking it to Lila, which was always nice.

…But Marinette hated liars. And if there was one thing that this entire mess taught her, it was that great harm could come from lies. She didn’t want to give Lila any additional ammunition to use against her, but she knew it would only be worse if it got out later.

And she didn’t want to misuse Adrien’s trust in that way.

“Actually, I do have your schedule.” She admitted.

Adrien stopped in the middle of the lecture he was about to give Lila. He turned to her in surprise.

“What?”

“It’s just…you would mention certain activities or plans. Fencing. Tutoring. Lessons. And I would hear and add them to my calendar so I would be aware when it came to planning things.”

Silence.

Lila smirked in victory. So the goody-two shoes had a fault and was actually admitting to it for the entire class to see. Even Adrien’s protective best friend must be up in arms as he took Lila’s phone with the picture of the schedule to look it over.

Adrien, for his part, blinked as he registered the information.

“So you’ve kept track of all the events and scheduling I’ve told you about to add to your calendar?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

A longer pause. Marinette mentally kicked herself. Why hadn’t she just stayed home and avoided this mess?

Then he smiled. “That was nice of you.”

“What?” Marinette asked, stunned.

“What.” Lila less asked than stated. Shrieking even in her disbelief.

“Well, friends keep friends on their schedules.” Adrien said, nodding resolutely.

Lila stared, her eye twitching slightly.

But he paid her no mind, keeping his gaze on his very good friend.

"Can I see it?" He asked her.

Marinette blinked. "What?"

He was actually looking eager now. “That way I can fill in any gaps so we can choose better times to hang out!”

She flushed. This was not the direction she had expected this to go. And from Lila’s disgusted expression, neither had she.

Far be it from her to argue. Especially against Adrien’s hopeful puppy eyes.

"Okay."

“Great! I’ll come by your house later! Maybe we can play Mecha Strike while we’re at it.” He said with a smile that—gah, too bright! It would probably blind her if it didn’t make her heart explode.

Marinette blushed.

“Okay?” She agreed because really, what else could she do at this point?

"WHAT?!" Lila raged, her skin starting to turn red. "Why would you want to help her keep your schedule?! Isn't that creepy?!"

He turned to Lila at that with a frown. “But...she's my friend. I'm on her Personal Calendar with all the people she considers friends!" And she’d done this even before their talk today, so that meant she really did like him, right?

Lila rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Adrien! Who actually does that?"

Adrien shrugged. "Nino does."

A pause. Slowly, all eyes turned to Nino.

The cap-wearing teen realized the sudden attention he'd got and jumped back, waving his hands.

"Well, how else were we supposed to have hangouts with that schedule of his?" He defended before turning his attention to Marinette. “You’re missing his Chinese lessons by the way.”

Marinette turned to him in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah, also he has a photoshoot this weekend and in the middle of next week. And I see my schedule on there, too, but you don’t have my gig Friday.”

“Wait—you’re on her schedule, too?” Ivan asked, surprised.

“All of her friends are.” Nino confirmed.

Kim raised his hand. “Am I on there?”

“All of her friends are.” Nino repeated, and looked down at the picture of the calendar. “She has your swim meet for next Tuesday. And a plan to bring some of those tarts you like.”

“Sweet!” Kim exclaimed, giving a fist pump.

Nino nodded to Marinette before handing the phone back to Lila. “Plus Alya and I are having a date Sunday, not Saturday, so we won't need you to babysit. Might want to add that.” 

Marinette blinked as she just…tried to register everything.

“Oh. Okay.”

Apparently, that was becoming her default word as she was still trying to process how any of this was happening.

Alya stared at her boyfriend.

“So wait, you have Adrien’s schedule, too?”

“Of course, I do! Hangouts are difficult enough, but we also need to know what times we can video chat.” Nino shrugged. “How else do you think I knew when his dad was leaving? And how to get past his bodyguard?”

Lila gaped. She couldn’t believe this!

Even the other classmates seemed unbothered. Did they really have no concept of boundaries?

…of course they didn’t. They were teenagers.

The fact that Lila herself had commonly infringed on Adrien’s boundaries in a physical way on a daily basis and most recently violated Marinette’s boundaries specifically to find this information to use against her in the first place seemed entirely lost on her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? How are you okay with this? Are you seriously that stupid?” Lila demanded.

Adrien frowned at Lila, stepping in front of his friends. “Marinette and everyone else here are my friends. Of course, I care about them and would want them to know when I’m available—”

“You can’t possibly be that blind! MARINETTE. HAS. A. CRUSH. ON. YOU. She is so hopelessly in love with you that it’s pathetic!”

“Don’t talk about her like—”

“She has birthday and holiday gifts for you for YEARS!” Lila shouted. “HOW IS THAT NOT WEIRD?!”

The classmates blinked or jumped in surprise before all eyes turned to Marinette.

Why? Why was she Lila’s go-to target?

“I was just…I mean…” She stammered, looking down in shame and embarrassment.

The classmates seemed to be waiting for an answer. It seemed they were at least trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since it was LILA making the accusation, after all, and it was clear by this point that she was simply throwing out anything to make her look bad.

Hesitant, she looked up to see Adrien’s reaction.

And Adrien…oh god, he actually had tears in his eyes!

“Really? Is it true?”

Marinette jumped to try and explain.

“I—um—well—you see—”

His eyes widened. “I can’t believe it...”

“No wait! It’s not—”

Okay, yeah, she was a mess and had nothing.

“You felt so bad about missing my birthday that you’ve been making gifts for me ahead of time so you won’t miss it again!” He exclaimed, looking excited.

Which was okay, apparently, because Adrien had apparently drawn his own conclusions. As evidenced when he pulled her into a hug.

“You didn’t have to do all that, Marinette.” He said, giving her a squeeze. “I don’t hold it against you that you forgot my birthday. You didn’t know.”

A part of Marinette was screaming. Because oh, the irony. If only he knew…

Alya…out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Alya also looked like she desperately wanted to say something. Probably the truth about his scarf. Which now was a bad time to reveal.

“You have no reason to feel guilty for not getting me anything.” He told her, releasing her with a smile and patting her shoulders. “But I appreciate that you felt so strongly about it that you would try to get such a head start to make up for it. It means a lot that you care so much about me.”

Marinette…yeah, Marinette.exe has shut down.

“But that’s not...” Mylene started, only to pause for several seconds before frowning with a small wince. “Actually yeah, that does sound exactly like something Marinette would do.”

“Remember how she got Alya an interview with Ladybug after she accidentally deleted that video?” Kim chimed in.

Nino slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah! Alya went on and on about that for weeks!”

Alya—even Alya, her best friend, who knew full well about her crush and the gifts actually looked uncertain at the news. She bit her lip, looking back and forth between Adrien and Marinette in confusion and concern.

Because she remembered that Adrien’s father had somehow wound up with credit for Marinette’s gift to Adrien. She also remembered how Chloe had broken into Marinette’s locker and vandalized her gift to Bustier. Then there was the time Marinette made Adrien that hat but didn’t take credit for that either.

Marinette…just seemed to have bad luck when it came to giving people things, apparently.

So was it really any wonder that the girl would become that anxious over gift-giving? Or that Marinette, being Marinette, had gone so far as to prepare a multitude of gifts as backups in case something like her gift being stolen, lost, or vandalized happened again?

Alya...honestly didn’t know anymore. Maybe that was something she should try to help with more in the future.

Adrien for his part was simply basking in the glow of happiness that came with knowing how much his good friend Marinette cared about him. Nobody had the heart to argue with him. Nor did any of them even have an argument to make.

“Are you kidding? No one keeps that many gifts for one person in their closet! Can you possibly be that stupid?”

Except Lila, but after everything that had happened, no one was really feeling inclined to humor her.

“Since you’re bringing that up though, here’s a better question.” Alix cut in, giving Lila a glare. “How do you even know any of this?”

Lila drew back in surprise as she suddenly found herself the subject of glares from the rest of her classmates.

“I somehow doubt Marinette invited you into her room.” Alix continued.

“Her parents did!” Lila quickly explained, absently scratching at her wrist. “They invited me inside since the mob was after me.”

Okay, yeah no. Marinette’s brain had rebooted at that. There was no way she was going to let Lila implicate her parents.

“I already talked to my parents about what happened after I saw you wearing my clothes. They invited you into the bakery.” Marinette corrected angrily. “They did not invite you into my room.”

“It was an accident.” Lila claimed. “I had gotten lost, but once I realized where I was and what I was seeing, I just had to warn everyone—”

“‘What you were seeing’,” Marinette cut her off coldly, “should not have been seen unless you had been looking for them. I kept those gifts in my closet. The schedule was put away. The pictures were not visible from my trap door—which you should have realized right away would NOT lead you to any exit.”

Lila scratched at her neck. “Well, I hardly know anything about you since you keep me at arm’s length. Can you blame me for being a little curious?”

“YES.” Came the resounding echo from…well…nearly everyone. It was clear that nobody was buying anything Lila was trying to sell.

“You don’t try to ‘learn about someone’ by breaking into their room, recording what you find there, and sharing it with people!” Mylene ranted.

“It sounds like you’re trying to make Marinette look bad to distract us from your own actions.” Ivan said with a glare. “Because none this changes what you did.”

“You lied to us about the charity and EVERYTHING else you’ve ever said!” Alya exclaimed.

“Did you make up all those illnesses, too?” Kim asked, disappointed and disapproval evident in his voice.

“I bet you were the one who nearly caused Marinette to get expelled.” Alix hissed, leading more growls and angry muttering from the audience.

“No, I haven’t! It was just a misunderstanding!” Lila insisted.

“Was it?” Came a voice.

Everyone immediately silenced and all eyes turned to one person.

Rose stood tall. Or at least as tall as she could in such a situation. In truth, she was shaking. Her lip was trembling like she was trying not to cry. And she stared straight at Lila, almost as if she was gazing into her soul.

If it was anyone else, Lila might have been concerned.

But it was Rose. Poor simple Rose who always believed in everyone and would listen to anything she said without question.

It’d be easy enough to get back in her good graces.

And all it would take…

Lila sniffled, lowering her head. “I’m sorry.”

Everyone stared.

Marinette wanted to bang her head against something.

Lila rubbed at her eyes to give the illusion of tears. She even managed a couple of hiccups. “You were just all…all so amazing and I was scared about fitting in. I did embellish some things but I…I just wanted you all to like me.” She covered her face, effectively hiding her eyes.

“Things just spiraled out of control and before I knew it, I was trapped! I couldn’t be honest and I was so scared of what you all would think of me!” She sobbed out. 

Disregarding, of course, the fact that she had just tried to throw Marinette under the bus—and not for the first time.

Lila looked up at the group, eyes watery though no actual tears have been shed. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” She whimpered. “I just admired you all so much! I’m so sorry!”

They hesitated. Of course they did. They were easily played by emotional appeals. All she’d ever had to do was fake pain or sadness and they would fall over themselves in response before any true logic or reason could set in.

And of course, Rose of all people stepped forward.

The small blonde rested a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes, with what had to be some form of reassurance on her lips.

Leave it to Rose to forgive any transgressions and be willing to start anew. She was always the first to offer reassurances. The first to believe in someone. The first to support a good cause. If anyone would understand and show sympathy, it would be her.

“I don’t believe you.”

That…was not it.

Rose stepped back from Lila, her nose scrunched in disgust. She backed away a good couple of feet. She even wiped her hands on her dress—or attempted to, until Mylene handed her some hand wipes. As if touching Lila had been filthy to her.

“Is even touching me that bad?” Lila asked, acting pitiful.

A long pause. Several of the classmates glanced between each other. They all seemed to want to say something, but couldn’t seem to bring themselves to.

“You stink.”

Except for Juleka, who was glaring at Lila.

Lila gaped.

“What?”

Did…she mean that literally or was she just being juvenile?

Kim actually pinched his nose. “Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you kind of reek.”

Lila clenched her fists, her anger growing and her skin starting to turn red. “How dare you?!”

"Like...you stink...and you stink. Figuratively and physically." Kim said, sounding nasally with his nose plugged.

“Kind of smells wet and musty.” Nino muttered.

“I was thinking it smelled more like a dumpster.” Mylene noted.

“It’s probably her soul.” Alix muttered, shooting Lila a dark glare.

Marinette gasped and spun on Lila. “Wait! Lila, didn’t you jump in the Seine earlier?”

Lila flushed, embarrassed at the reminder and the realization that her shower earlier had only done the bare minimum for her hair. “It wasn’t by choice!”

The other teens gave Lila disgusted looks.

“You…do know the Seine isn’t the cleanest, right?” Ivan asked.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Lila exclaimed. “It was that damn Ladybug who splashed me with water!”

Several of the classmates bristled at that and the insult to their city’s hero.

“She was putting the pyre out.” Alya countered, looking up the video on her phone. “Otherwise you would have been burned. And then you would have died. And none of this would even be up for discussion right now.”

“Really, you could show a little more appreciation for Ladybug rescuing you.” Adrien said, narrowing his eyes at Lila. “Even if she wasn’t your best friend.”

He knew she wasn’t. He had been there when Ladybug herself had confronted Lila on her lies, so of course he knew that they weren’t friends. Not that anyone else did. But the reminder of that particular lie and Ladybug’s recent threat brought out a level of fear within her that she hadn’t experienced before.

She could almost swear that she felt Ladybug’s gaze on her.

Lila silently fumed momentarily but forced herself to calm and steady her nerves.

Remember, she was still the one in control here. Not the school. Not these classmates. And certainly not Ladybug!

She closed her eyes and let out a breath.

Oh well. She gave it a try and it didn’t work. An annoyance, but ultimately, no real loss. She was still leaving. And they had nothing they could pin on her.

Rose was the one who collected the money. The school and teachers were the ones who hadn’t verified her paperwork. Gabriel had been the one to hire her to spy on his own son. Hawk Moth had been the one to use her. And Ladybug had been the one who didn’t protect her.

Really, wasn’t it their own fault?

“If that’s how you all feel, then I’ll just leave.” Lila said, looking away in a manner she was sure looked dejected. Such a look would normally lead people to feel some pity for her and some remorse for anything they had done.

Here though, it just made her look petulant.

None of the classmates were impressed. Several looked ready to argue. Maybe to even try to brave the stench around her and force her to stay and admit to her acts.

Except…

“The one thing I don’t understand though is why did you keep doing it? Why all the lies?” Rose asked.

“Yeah,” Alya agreed. “Looking back, your lies were all over the place and didn’t amount to much. Not until the fake charity scam, anyway, and you were bound to get caught. What was even the point of it all?”

What was the point? Was she serious? It was everything.

Lila rolled her eyes. “Oh please. Like any of you would have really cared about me if you hadn’t thought I had something you could use.”

They all just stared at her incredulously.

“Um…but we would have.”

Lila paused, blinking in confusion.

“What?”

Rose brought her hands up. “We would have liked you regardless, Lila! You didn’t have to lie!”

“And even if you do lie,” Mylene continued, “we still could have forgiven it and liked you anyway.”

“We may not have been happy about being lied to, but we could have understood. Maybe even helped.” Ivan stated, rubbing his head.

Marinette stepped forward. “I told you before Lila. We could be friends when you stopped lying.”

Lila stared at her. Was she serious?

That was…

Lila gaped at them all in disbelief. None of them argued. Many even nodded their heads in agreement.

She couldn’t believe it…

That was the dumbest thing she’d ever heard!

Who actually forgives people for things like that? Even little acts that seemed weird were often enough to turn people off. Even good qualities like leadership, prioritizing, and professionalism could be twisted and used against the person. This was supposed to be a world where any flaw should be enough to ruin someone and warrant raking them over the coals!

And these idiots were just…fine with it?

Honestly, it was no wonder she was able to get away with so much! These idiots were practically begging to be manipulated!

Lila forced tears to her eyes. “You would be willing to forgive me? Just like that?”

“Well, not now, no.” Adrien said, finally speaking up.

Lila stared. Because…this was Adrien. Adrien Agreste who was Paris’s Sunshine Child and seemingly incapable of holding a grudge. Or standing up for himself.

And…he was going to refuse to forgive her?

“I figured your initial claims about knowing famous celebrities was just to make people like you. We could have forgiven you for that.”

His eyes narrowed.

“But then you used your lies to hurt people. And in ways you had to go well out of the way to do.”

“What?! No, I didn’t—”

But he cut her off.

“You tried to get Marinette expelled. You stole from all of us and made Rose’s charity work into a criminal act. And while we’re at it…” He drawled, making Lila nervous. “Maybe we can discuss how you’ve been spying on me for my father?”

Lila tensed briefly before putting on a wounded expression.

“That was just the akuma making things up!”

“Yeah, I spoke with my father about that.” Adrien continued, sounding…particularly cold. “Oh, and by the way, you’re fired.”

“Fired?” Lila balked. She clenched her fists and her shoulders raised in growing ire. “What do you mean ‘fired’?!”

Adrien steepled his fingers together as if he was trying to think. “Um, how else can I say it? You’re being let go. Your department’s being downsized. You’re part of an outplacement. We’re going in a different direction. We’re not picking up your option. Take your pick. I’ve got more.”

She grit her teeth.

She’d known from her call with Nathalie earlier that they were firing her. Part of her had believed that it was simply due to Witch Hunter’s control. But if that was the case, they shouldn’t remember it now. Though it could be that they remember the initial claim from Witch Hunter that brought them under her influence, but even then, there wouldn’t be any proof.

No…this had to be intentional. Given her suspicions of Gabriel, she had considered that he would cut ties, but to do it like this? Through Adrien? In front of everyone?

Oh. She was going to make him pay.

Outside of Lila’s thoughts of revenge and misery, the classmates realized something about Adrien’s totally cool and not at all corny or referenced speech.

Kim stared. “Dude…did you really just…”

Nino held up a hand. “Let him have this.” He wiped away a fake tear. “I’m so proud.”

Muffled chuckling from others indicated that they all knew what he had been referencing.

Except for Marinette, who was looking around in confusion. Because sure, Adrien was being cool just then and it was kind of funny to see Lila get some comeuppance, but what was all the snickering for? “Wait…what was that about?”

Adrien spun on her in shock. “Wait—you’ve never seen Emperor’s New Groove?”

Marinette blinked, uncertain. “Um…no?”

He took her hands in his, looking so serious that this had to be a matter of grave importance. “We must rectify this immediately. Will you come watch the movie with me? Father is being unusually lenient about things to make up for everything with Lila that he’ll probably allow a hangout this weekend.” He smiled. “So would you like to binge watch movies together?”

Oh. Oh, Marinette thought she was over this. But clearly not as she felt her face flush and her heart leap into her throat. Her brain was short circuiting because this was…this was a date with Adrien? ANOTHER date with Adrien? THREE dates with Adrien? That she hadn’t even had to be the one to ask him for? Just what is life right now? Was this life? Was this a dream? Lila finally outted as a liar and Adrien agreeing to spend time with her…this felt like a dream.

At best, she was only able to nod. And Adrien’s smile in response was near blinding. She didn’t even notice the way their classmates grinned or gave each other high fives.

…or the way Lila was turning red in her growing ire. 

Lila scratched angrily at her neck. Hard enough to leave marks.

Not only did he fire her, but now he was ignoring her and just flirting right in front of her?! It was bad enough she was revealed and chased around for the past few hours thanks to an akuma. Then betrayed by Hawk Moth. And then threatened by Ladybug. But this…this was just adding insult to injury by this point!

She wanted to say something—anything to break up this delightful little scene and wipe that happy look off their faces.

Sometimes, spite overcame reason.

“Oh please!” She shouted, drawing everyone’s gazes away from the cute scene and back to Lila where she was pointing at Adrien in anger. “The only reason he’s firing me is because I know he’s Hawk Moth!”

A long pause.

Alya looked at Adrien before turning back to Lila, eyebrow raised. “You mean Adrien?”

The blond in question paled and drew in on himself. It wasn’t true, but what if she brought up some ‘evidence’ like his tendency to disappear during akuma fights? Would anyone else believe her? Especially given how he’d messed up before and inadvertently helped Lila to create prime akuma material?

“Adrien isn’t Hawk Moth!” Marinette insisted, looking angry, and Adrien felt a combination of relief and admiration for the girl.

“Yeah!” Nino agreed, wrapping an arm around Adrien’s shoulders and holding out the other hand in front of them like he was trying to ward off Lila or perhaps her stench. “Don’t be talking about my boy like that!”

“Wow.” Kim muttered. “You’ve told some bad lies before but that takes the cake.”

“Shame on you, Lila!”

Lila reared back in shock at the direction this went. “What?! NO! I meant Gabriel Agreste is Hawk Moth!”

But people were just…rolling their eyes and looking away from her.

She held her hand to her chest in earnesty. Her other hand went to scratching her side, which kind of spoiled the effect. “He knows I’m a threat and he’s trying to discredit me!”

A long pause.

“You’ve already discredited yourself, Lila.”

“Yeah, it sounds like you’e just saying anything at this point.”

“She’s just mad that Mr. Agreste is letting her go.”

“After everything she did, I don’t blame him.”

“The guy os a jerk, but come on. Hawk Moth? Really?”

No one was even considering what she had to say now. If it wasn’t clear before, it was now.

Lila had lost any credibility.

Several of the classmates were gathered around Adrien, trying to support and comfort him over the accusations. She had a feeling that even if she had irrefutable evidence, they still wouldn’t believe it. Not now, anyway. It grated at her, but at this point, there was nothing she could do.

There was nothing she could do and she had just wasted her last trump card to no effect. And if it got back to Gabriel that she had accused him…

All the better to get out now then.

“Hey, wait!” Alix shouted as she noticed Lila trying to sneak away. “We’re not done here!”

Honestly, it was perfect timing that the teacher arrived to start class.

“All right, class! To your seats!” Bustier said, smiling nicely in her usual fashion.

And it looked like that would be the end of it. With Bustier back, there would be no further pressing of Lila. No retribution. No way to hold her accountable.

Alya for her part tried though. She raised her hand and called out insistently. “Wait! Ms. Bustier! Lila has been—”

Bustier shook her head. “I’m sorry, Alya, but it will have to wait. We’ve missed part of the school day as it is.” She paused and turned to Lila. “Oh, Lila! Your mother and the Principal are waiting for you in his office.”

Lila smiled politely. “Thank you. I’ll head right there.”

This was it then. A final meeting and she would be out of this school and out of Paris.

…though maybe after she takes a more thorough shower first, she thought to herself as she scratched at her neck.

Still, she couldn’t help but send one last smirk back at her now former classmates as she walked away. She hadn’t managed to pull them back under her sway, and she couldn’t say she had won.

But she could at least find some satisfaction in the growls and shouts of anger as she left them behind.

__________________

In the Principal’s office, the adults had a…rather interesting conversation of their own once Lila had departed.

“Good heavens! I didn’t know how much longer I could stand that smell.” Principal Damocles asked as he opened a window to try and freshen the air.

Amara Rossi took her seat in front of the desk, feeling a bit lightheaded herself. “Did something happen today? Science class? Chemicals, perhaps?”

“It could have been an akuma attack. We had one just earlier.” He replied.

Her eyes darkened. She was reminded of the constant prolonged akuma attacks that disrupt daily living and the inept superheroes who allowed them to persist. “I see. That will be one thing we will no longer have to worry about once we leave, at least.”

“Quite right.” He agreed kindly as he went to his files to pull out Lila’s paperwork. “I do hope that Lila’s new school will be better suited to accommodate all of her illnesses.”

Amara shook her head, uncertain of what she just heard. “I beg your pardon?”

“Of course we did try to adjust to Lila’s needs as we were made aware of them. Especially with her little…fibbing illness. But it was difficult without official documentation to clarify what she had and the best ways to address them. And we were never able to get clarification during her stay here.” He rested the paperwork on his desk and looked up to make eye contact with Mrs. Rossi. “We of course are not judging, but it would be prudent for you to make the appropriate arrangements prior to her arrival at her new school, wherever it may be.” He puffed up in pride. “And of course we will be more than happy to assist in sending over documentation as well—”

“No wait. Hold on.” Amara interrupted him. “What needs are you talking about?”

Needless to say, once Lila was out of the room, it didn’t take long for them to notice things weren’t adding up. And the conversation that followed ended up being…

“What tinnitus?”

Quite informative.

“What fall down the stairs?!”

With certain parties being made aware of things they hadn’t known previously.

“WHAT LYING DISEASE?!!”

By the end of it, both adults were in shock.

Damocles wiped his forehead with a handkerchief, clearly…unnerved to say the least. “I…erm…take it that some of these things might have been said…er…erroneously?”

Amara covered her face with her left hand, exasperated. “Unless my daughter has been under an akuma’s influence for the past several months the school has been closed.”

He frowned at that, unnerved. “On that note, I’ve been trying to reach out to you for some time about your daughter’s absences. Have you not gotten my calls?”

“I only received one or two. And Lila warned me not to answer because you were akumatized.” She paused in thought for a moment before lowering her hand and looking to the Principal. “Has the school been closed at all? Lila said you had been akumatized and that the school had been shut down, which was why she had to stay home for so long.”

Damocles blanched at that. “It was only the once! Well…twice actually, with the attempted mass akumatization during that one incident. But I assure you, madam, that the school was never closed. Certainly not for more than a day at any rate!”

She frowned, unsure. “But…the heroes…”

“Are quite adept at their job for youngsters!” Damocles hurriedly told her. “Akuma battles are normally finished within a couple of hours. Some have lasted overnight at most. There is only one to my knowledge that continued for a few days, but that was a rare exception and the damage was minimal.” Though the harm to Chloe’s mental state couldn’t be quantified.

“Oh…” She murmured. Wow. While Lila’s complaints had dampened her view of the city’s heroes, she had known her coworkers and the city at large seemed to admire them greatly. She regretted that she had never really listened to their gossip about them, but she was grateful she had never spoken up on what she had believed. Otherwise she would likely be a laughing stock at work.

He shook his head. “But no akuma has lasted for months, I assure you! In fact,” He said, reaching to his monitor and turning it so that they both could see the screen, “the Ladyblog should have all the facts about the akumas and our heroes!”

Amara observed the blog, curious. It was well made. Perhaps they could get the designer to help update the embassy site.

But on point, the blog listed news reports and updates. Hero sightings. Events. Akuma attacks. And in particular, the most recent attack…

“Wait!” She gasped. “Is that Lila?!”

From there, it had been a simple matter of reviewing the footage from the latest akuma attack.

Including the incident where Lila had shoved an innocent girl to the ground in front of the mob. (“That would be Marinette Dupain-Cheng. A bright student and the Class Representative. But…er…she and Lila haven’t quite seen eye to eye and there was an…incident a few weeks ago…”)

As well as a compiled list that had been taken of every claim made by the akuma—Witch Hunter? She was apparently a classmate of Lila’s. And according to the Ladyblog, she had been a victim of Lila’s lies, which had resulted in her akumatization and targeting of Lila. (“My word!”)

And worst of all, a video of Lila tied to a pyre and surrounded by a mob of people wanting her to burn. In and of itself, it was horrifying. Especially for any parent to see their child in such a state.

But for Lila…it was like she didn’t think it was real. Like she didn’t think she was in any actual danger. Or she thought this was a game.

And that, Amara found most terrifying.

“This is…” She muttered in shock. She couldn’t even begin to describe it. Her daughter, tied to a pole. About to be lit on fire. All because she had been lying this entire time? Not just lying, but stealing from her peers? Framing people? And she didn’t dare say it, but from some of her statements in the video and the akuma’s claims, it almost looked as if she had been working with a known terrorist!

She had known her daughter wasn’t perfect or innocent. But this much? To go this far? And for what? She couldn’t even begin to understand…

“Madam, I…think this is a most serious matter.” Damocles stated. He was trying to be delicate but…well, really. How can one approach this sort of thing delicately?

“I agree.” She stated, resolutely. “Lila has been playing everyone it seems. But now that we know, what should we do from here?”

Damocles stroked his beard as he thought. “I admit we have never had a situation this extreme before. But if you will permit, I believe there may be a way to approach this…”

The rest of their time was spent discussing the matter at length and coming to an agreement. Damocles admittedly had his failings, particularly when it came to stubborn and selfish students with access to parents in positions of authority and willingness to abuse that authority to get their way. But when he wasn’t having to work around such barriers and had parents who were actually working with him instead of obstructing the school regulations, it was substantially easier to make appropriate accommodations and plan accordingly.

Which is what Lila ended up walking in to once she was asked to return to the office.

“Is everything settled?” She asked sweetly, her expression belying her earlier anger. Honestly, her only concern was finishing this as quickly as possible and going home to shower. A good three or four times.

She forced herself to ignore the way the adults in the room turned their heads away from her with upturned noses. She took advantage of the moment and attempted to unobtrusively scratch under her arm. Honestly, this itching was only getting worse! How had she not noticed it earlier?

“Well, Lila.” Damocles coughed as he turned on a fan. “Your mother and I have been discussing things and we couldn’t help but notice a few discrepancies.”

Lila froze. She steeled her expression to hide her rising panic. Because no. Not here. Not after everything.

“Lila…” Her mother called, her tone harsh and warning of her slowly boiling anger. “You told me that the school had been closed. And here I come to find that not only had it still been open and running all this time, but that you had been excusing your absences with claims of trips around the world!”

Shit.

Why had she left them alone?!

“But there were akuma attacks!” She insisted. “And the school was closed!”

“Not for weeks at a time!” Her mother exclaimed, furious. “And what is all this I’m hearing about your actions since you got here? Lying to your teachers? Stealing from a charity? Getting another student expelled?!”

Here, Lila straightened. “She had been bullying me and I had only been trying to protect myself.”

“Then why did you claim a lying disease to have her brought back?” Damocles questioned.

Lila hugged herself to look sad and sympathetic—and also used the opportunity to scratch at her side again. “I was threatened.” She admitted morosely. “Adrien said—”

“Adrien? Adrien Agreste?” Her mother interrupted. “You mean the boy you said was your boyfriend?”

Lila hesitated for a moment before a plan came together and she nodded. “Yes. It was why I wanted us to leave Paris. He’s been harassing me, Mama.” She shuddered and hitched her breath as if in fear. “He threatened me if I didn’t take back the allegations. He’s been cheating on me with her, Mama!”

“Interesting. Very interesting.” Her mother said in a blithe manner that only made Lila more nervous. “Because according to this Ladyblog, it sounds like  you were the one harassing him. As well as this Marinette girl, regardless of whether she is his girlfriend or not.”

Lila snapped up and gaped at her mother. The woman never bothered with the Ladyblog. Lila had been sure she hadn’t known it even existed!

“You can’t trust the Ladyblog! It’s just a teenager’s fan site! It’s nothing but lies!”

Her mother glared down at her. “Like this informative interview of you claiming to be Ladybug’s ‘bestie’?”

Lila paled.

“I was only trying to get people to like me and make friends.” She said, lowering her head in shame. Not that she had any, of course, but it paid to look the part at least. “I didn’t think anyone would see it.”

“Lila, the Ladyblog is extremely popular. It’s a central news source for anyone in Paris to know what the most recent update is regarding any akuma attack! Anyone would have seen it!” Damocles exclaimed.

“Even if it wasn’t,” Her mother continued. “You still shouldn’t have been claiming things like that! What if Hawk Moth saw it and thought it was true? What if he tried to kidnap or hurt you?”

She wasn’t worried about that. He wouldn’t have harmed her since she was working for him.

Well, Lila realized with a small wince. Not anymore.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Lila said, looking away.

“Getting back on point.” Damocles interrupted. “There is the problem regarding all of the days you’ve missed. Your teacher was led to believe that you were out of town while you had informed your mother that the school was closed. This is a serious matter, young lady.”

There was no way to lie that she hadn’t done it now that both of them were aware and on to her. But she could still try to reframe things in her favor.

“I’m sorry. I had just needed a break for a while and I didn’t know how to tell you.” Lila spoke, tearfully. “It was just…all of the akuma attacks and everything with Adrien and the bullying…it was too much!”

She sobbed into her hands.

“I just couldn’t take it! I’m sorry!”

She continued her sobs for a good minute. Since she had her face covered and her head lowered, she couldn’t quite see how the adults in the room were responding. Sneaking a peak got her a glimpse at best lest she risk them seeing her.

Her mother looked drawn. The Principal seemed tired. Neither of them so much as tried to get closer to Lila to comfort her. Though that may very well have been due to the smell, and she cursed Witch Hunter and Ladybug both for causing the situation in the first place and for not fixing this with the Magical Cure as well.

Really, she thought hatefully. This was all their fault. Rose’s. The class’s. Hawk Moth’s. And especially Ladybug’s. She never would have ended up in this position if not for her!

“I’m sorry, Lila. If you were truly having such trouble, then you should have spoken to one of us about it and we may have been able to help you.” Damocles sighed. “I’m afraid there’s nothing else for it now. It’s already gone much too far for us to be able to overlook.”

Amara nodded, resigned. “I understand.”

Lila sniffled and raised her head.

“So I guess I’ll be expelled?” She asked with a mournful tone.

Okay. All right. So she would be sent to another school somewhere. A boarding school perhaps? Some sort of alternative or otherwise stricter school meant to “rehabilitate“ her, no doubt. She could handle this. It was still someplace new where no one would recognize her. It wouldn’t take too much before she could just start over. Within two months, no one there would even really know why she had transferred.

She could still make this work for her.

Damocles, however, looked at her in surprise.

“Expel you? What are you talking about? We don’t expel students for truancy.”

Lila froze.

“What?”

“You will be suspended for a time.” He continued. “Though I believe given the nature of your actions, it would be better for your suspension to be altered so you remain on campus and under constant supervision.”

Lila stared. She would swear she could hear cracks forming in her reality.

“And we will have to keep you in a separate classroom as well to remove any...distractions.”

Crack.

“Of course.“ her mother agreed. “I’ll be removing her computer and phone for the time being as well. Depending on how things go, we may have to dispose of them altogether.”

Lila felt her eye starting to twitch.

“This will be an opportunity for you to catch up on all the coursework you missed.”

Crack.

“And there will be a hearing as well.” Damocles continued. 

Lila jumped to her feet and slammed her hand on the desk.

“But—but you expelled Marinette immediately without a hearing!”

Damocles appeared flustered at that. “My actions at that time were…admittedly hasty, especially considering that it turned out they were based on a lie...” He gave her a sharp look at that. “But given what appeared to be dangerous and escalating behavior at the time, I had only acted in a way to protect the other students in this institution.”

He clasped his hands. “But less school is not the appropriate answer for a student whose crime was skipping school. Especially in this case given that Lila may very well need to be held back a grade as it is.”

“What?!” Lila demanded.

He gave her a dry look, unimpressed with her reaction or the repeated interruptions. “Young lady, regardless of your reasons, you’ve missed months of your precious education. Surely you didn’t think you would be able to graduate alongside your classmates. At this point, you won’t be able to get the approval from the conseil de classe to move on to the next grade, much less be prepared for the brevet.”

Lila blinked. “The what?”

Her mother groaned and covered her face. “It’s the mandated test required in secondary school into get your diploma, Lila.”

Lila gaped, glancing back and forth between the two, as if expecting this to be a joke. “But…college in France is just scuola media! It’s middle school! How do they require a diploma?!”

“It’s a national requirement and certification of the knowledge and skills acquired.” Damocles explained, ignoring the way mother and daughter were reacting as he instead puffed out his chest and straightened his jacket. “And we here at Francois-Dupont are dedicated to our students and making the appropriate accommodations to help them succeed! Regardless of any…”

He paused, sending Lila a look. “Complications.”

Amara sighed but faced Damocles. “So what would you recommend?”

He brightened at that. “The best answer to get young Lila back on track would be an alternative remedial program in which she can remain in school and make up for what she missed in a setting where she can be more closely monitored to keep something like this from happening again.”

Remain here? In Dupont? With everyone aware of her lies?

“You can’t do this!” Lila shouted. But to no avail as the adults paid her no mind at this point.

“What about the fraud?” Her mother asked. “I believe she had solicited funds under false pretenses?”

“Oh, that is outside our jurisdiction.” Damocles answered, waving it off. “We can only deal in school and school-related matters. Fraud is a legal issue, so that will be going to the courts as a separate case. But on that note, I would recommend getting a lawyer.” He said, turning serious.

“Hopefully, that won’t be necessary.” Amara replied. “As we will be making arrangements with the students who started the charity and reimburse the funds Lila took.”

“WHAT?!”

“Returning everything you bought with the money to the stores you purchased them from should be a good place to start,” the woman continued, “assuming they will even accept the exchange once they know what you did. Which you will be telling them if they didn’t already know from that akuma.”

“But…but I don’t have them!” Lila exclaimed, suddenly realizing that she had worn Marinette’s clothes back home and left her designer items at the bakery.

“Then you will just have to find some other way to make up the lost funds.” Her mother stated, dismissively.

Lila stomped her foot, the picture of a child throwing a tantrum. “But that’s not fair!” 

“You stole money from your classmates, Lila!” Her mother bit out sharply. “Giving back what you took is the very least you could do!”

“But I can’t pay it!” Lila yelled, scratching at her chin in fury.

“Then you can use your now copious amount of free time to take on some extra employment. Because you won’t be sitting around at home doing nothing or getting into more trouble while I’m not there. And you certainly won’t be going out with your friends—assuming you have any left after this mess.”

“But…where am I supposed to find employment?!”

Her mother looked through her tablet and pulled up a number of listings when she then handed to Damocles to print off. “There are always openings for extra hands. Odd jobs. A part time job. I don’t care if it’s something like washing dishes at a diner, you will be doing it. And whatever you earn is going to go to straight into the bank until you pay back every euro you took.”

Lila gasped. “I’m fourteen! That’s child labor!”

“That didn’t seem to be an issue when you were modeling for the Gabriel line without telling me.” Her mother countered, growing more furious.

Lila glared back, enraged and for once incapable of speech.

“Whatever you have to say, this is your own fault for stealing the money in the first place. And also using it when you knew it wasn’t yours!” The woman shook her head. “Honestly, I don’t even understand how you thought that was supposed to work.”

“We were supposed to be out of Paris already!” Lila muttered darkly.

Unfortunately for her, her mother heard her well enough. “Which I suspect was the real reason you suddenly wanted to leave, wasn’t it?”

Lila stayed silent. Merely sitting petulantly and scratching at her arm.

Her mother looked down at her daughter. She had never seen her like this before. And now that she knew what the girl had been up to, she wondered if she had been blind to the truth. And for how long.

She sighed.

“You dug yourself into this, Lila. And you won’t be running away from it. You are going to pay back what you took, no matter how long it takes. If this does end up going to court, you are going to agree to any deal they offer and you will make this right. And if you are very very lucky, they will accept your apology and your return of the money, and not pursue harsher charges. Because if they do, you will be accepting those charges and any consequences that come with them.”

Damocles coughed, daring to interrupt. “Am I to presume she will be losing her cellphone and laptop as well?”

“That would be a given.” Her mother replied. “Though at the rate this is going, I may very well sell those off as well to contribute to her debt.”

“What?!” Lila screeched. “But how am I supposed to do schoolwork then? Or keep in contact?”

“With pen and paper like everyone else. And you won’t need to worry about contacting anyone since you are going to be grounded for the foreseeable future.”

Lila groaned and sunk further into the office chair. She tried to keep her arms crossed, but couldn’t hold it for longer than a couple seconds before she felt the itchiness again and started scratching at her arms once more.

“And would you stop scratching yourself?”

“I can’t help it!” Lila cried, spilling real tears for once.

The lighting in the office was decent. Adequate to see by, but not quite enough to get a full detail of what they were looking at. In an attempt to help, Damocles turned on his desk lamp and moved it shine on Lila, putting her skin in much clearer display.

And particularly, the red and splotchy areas that were slowly spreading on her body.

“Good heavens!” Damocles shouted as he went to his phone to call the nurse. “That is an extensive rash, dear girl!”

Her mother grabbed her arm to look closer. “What did you do? Take a bath in the Seine?”

“I didn’t have a choice! I was being chased!” Lila exclaimed, attempting to pull her arm out of her mother’s hold so as to scratch more.

“That…would explain the smell.” Damocles noted before the receiver picked up and he quickly turned his attention to requesting the school nurse’s assistance.

“Did you at least wash it off? Didn’t you shower when you got home?” Her mother asked, exasperated as she had to keep hold of Lila’s arm to prevent her from scratching herself.

Lila hunched over. “No. I had to call you first.”

Her mother groaned in response, much to Lila’s irritation. She glared up at the woman who should be reassuring her own child in this hardship but instead was merely shaking her head at Lila like this was something she had simply brought upon herself!

How could she?! What sort of mother would be so cruel?

She barely paid any attention when the nurse entered the office with some ointment in hand. She only realized what they were doing when they started to slather the gel on her skin, which felt gross and humiliating. Made all the moreso with the way the nurse and her own mother couldn’t fight the looks of disgust at the smell that still covered her. Even Ladybug calling her out in front of Adrien hadn’t been so humiliating.

But it would get worse.

Damocles coughed. “We will resume this discussion another time. Madam, if you are willing, I can arrange a meeting with the students involved and allow you to discuss reparations in an informal…non-court setting.”

“If you please, that would be preferred. In the meantime, I will be taking Lila home so we can deal with all of…” She paused, waving her arms around and trying to think of the right words before simply shrugging with a sigh. “This.”

“Wait! I can’t go out there! Everyone will see me like this!”

It was perhaps out of some love as a mother, or just some small mercy that had Amara Rossi agree to take her daughter through a roundabout path out of the school. One that allowed Lila to take hallways that were less used and offered less visibility in and out of the classrooms.

And most importantly allowed her to avoid Bustier’s class.

After getting instructions from the school nurse regarding skin care to get rid of the rashes, Amara thanked both Damocles and the nurse before taking Lila outside. The two made it to the front of the school with few being there to witness Lila’s ‘walk of shame’ so to speak. It was probably more than Lila deserved, but her mother was hardly cruel. Tough when she had to be, certainly.

There was now just the final leg of the trip. Amara started down the steps of the school and made it to the bottom before she realized her daughter wasn’t following her.

“Lila!” She hissed. “Get down here!”

“But…” Lila hesitated, looking up and behind her to where Bustier’s class would have a perfect view of her exit.

“Now, Lila. Or do you still want to be out here when classes are over?”

Lila forced herself to move down the steps—both as quickly as possible to try and lessen the amount of time anyone had to see her and as carefully as possible to avoid anything touching the ointment on her skin.

“When we get home, the first thing you’ll be doing is taking a shower to clean yourself properly this time. We will be going through your room as well and taking back your laptop, your phone, and anything I even think you may have bought with that stolen money.”

Lila grumbled but didn’t argue.

“Yes, mother.”

At this point, she just prayed no one had seen her.

__________________

They saw her.

“Is that Lila?”

“It is! And her mom!”

“What’s that on Lila’s arms?”

“Oh. Wow.”

Bustier had stepped out of the room for what she said would be a minute while leaving the class with some assignment to do until she returned. Naturally, given the drama of the day, no one was really able to focus on the schoolwork. So instead, they took to quietly chatting with one another. Or in Alya’s case, nudging Marinette repeatedly as the girl tried to wrap her head around the prospect of having a date with Adrien.

No, THREE dates. Wait—were they dates? Like…date-dates?

Fortunately for her own peace of mind, her imagination was put on hold by the exclamations of those near the windows. Helpless to the draw of wanting to know what all the fuss is about, Marinette and the others on her side of the class joined those at the windows to see just what it was about Lila that had grabbed their attention.

And she had to say: Yikes.

“That has to be the worst rash I’ve ever seen.”

“Looks like that dip in the Seine did not agree with her.”

Marinette winced in sympathy.

As Ladybug, she had a few instances of having to make use of the Seine or the sewers as an exit, so she knew full well how nasty the water could be. The suit and resulting Cure would normally rid her of any of the water or contaminants or so Tikki said, but that didn’t stop Marinette from taking a good long shower afterwards. Or three. Just to feel clean afterwards, despite Tikki’s reassurance.

What happened this time?

She looked down to her purse, but the little clasp remained resolutely closed. Even when she tried to pull at it.

Tikki...what did you do?

“I feel kind of bad.” Rose murmured, resting a hand on the window. “She only jumped into the Seine because of me. Because I had everyone hunting her.”

“I don’t.” Alix replied. “You were only after her because of what she did.”

Nino nodded in agreement. “Yeah. And if the info on the Ladyblog regarding Lila’s crimes are any indication, she may have been doing it to help Hawk Moth.”

“We can’t prove that, though.” Ivan noted.

Rose hugged herself.

Marinette hugged her as well. “Whether or not Lila deserved it, it happened because of Hawk Moth. Not you. So please don’t blame yourself, Rose.”

Adrien came up next to them and rested a hand on Rose’s shoulder. “If we try to question who is truly at fault, we’ll be dragging this out forever. All we can do at this point is try to figure out where to go from here.”

“Hey, that’s right!” Mylene realized. “Rose, what are you going to do about the charity?”

Rose looked down. “I don’t know. It’s kind of pointless now since we don’t have the money anymore.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t try again.” Nino reassured her.

Adrien nodded in agreement. “Plus Alya and I were talking earlier. If you still have the ledger of the funds, you could try to bring up charges against Lila to get the money returned. My father has some attorneys our company frequently uses for any legal issues. I could see about getting one of them involved to find out how to proceed on this.”

“Dude, seriously? Is your dad cool with this?” Nino asked, completely taken aback that the man would do such a thing.

“It’s only the beginning of what he could do to make up for his part in this.” Adrien muttered.

Nino blinked at his friend and his…strangely dark expression. Then he grinned and slapped Adrien on the back. “Good for you, man!”

“But what about Lila though?” Ivan asked.

“Murder?” Juleka asked.

Which of course, none of them took seriously.

Right? Right.

“If Lila’s mom’s attitude is any indication, I don’t think Lila will be getting away with the theft.” Kim said, looking out the window in the direction the two ladies left. “She looked maaaaaaad.”

“She is angry from what I have heard.” Max said from his seat. He didn’t look up from his tablet and was the only one aside from Nathaniel to not move from his desk. “Apparently Lila had been lying to her mother and the school about why she’s been absent for months. And then with the theft on top of that, plus all of the other things revealed thanks to Witch Hunter, I believe there is a 97.3% chance that Lila will be grounded for the foreseeable future.”

“Wait. How do you know that?” Kim asked.

“Markov told me.”

“Oh.”

A pause.

“And…how does HE know tha—”

Max simply disregarded him and turned to Rose. “You should probably discuss the matter with Lila’s mother. It sounds like she is taking the issue seriously and would like to meet with you and work this out appropriately.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” She said with a smile. Albeit a somewhat wary smile.

“So there may be a chance to get the money back then?” Ivan asked, hopefully.

“But wait—what about Prince Ali?” Alix realized.

This brought all eyes to Rose, who looked hurt at the reminder of her friend cutting off ties with her.

“Rose…” Marinette started.

She winced. “I…still have his email. I don’t know if he’ll talk to me, but…I can apologize. And I can try to make it right. I think…” She took a breath. “I think I understand now why he was so upset. He’s a Prince and must be used to a lot of people trying to use him.”

She hesitated, looking down.

“Lila was…probably that exact type of person. And she was able to use him through me—even if she didn’t know it.”

The others winced.

Yeah, it was probably a good thing they learned about Lila now before it got too serious. Who knows what would have happened if Lila had ever actually gotten to meet him? Or really any of the other celebrities they actually knew.

Rose bit her lip for a moment, then looked up. “I’ve been thinking…if I do get the money back…since the charity Lila had told us about doesn’t exist, we can’t donate the money as planned. I would like to give the funds to a charity with a similar purpose—I even found one that looks genuine and does a lot of good, but…” She frowned. “That’s still misleading to the people who originally donated.”

“So what will you do?”

“I have a log of everyone who donated since I had wanted everyone to get credit or some sort of ‘Thank You’ for helping. I can try to reach out to them and ask them what they want to do.” She brightened slightly. “Alya is also helping by putting a notice on the Ladyblog about what happened and what we’re doing so that anyone who did donate before can be alerted and know to contact me.“

Alya smiled. “It seems to be working so far. If anything, I’ve been more messages from people wanting to donate as well.

Mylene gasped in delight. “You may end up with even more funding for your charity, Rose.”

“Just as long as we make it clear it’s the real deal this time.” Alya agreed. “I posted the charity’s info on the website as well as some links to verification sites so people can check for themselves that it’s real. This way, we don’t run into the same problem we had with Lila or get accused of lying ourselves.”

Well, that was a relief. They had a plan and they were certainly taking this seriously.

“I’m glad for you, Rose.”

Rose smiled back. “Thank you. I know this doesn’t really fix everything, but it feels like the right thing to do.”

“Aww!”

The group hug that commenced was just what they all needed.

__________________

Tom and Sabine had quite the busy day. Especially with that girl who had come in earlier and snuck into Marinette’s room.

And the akuma. Though they were at least getting used to daily disruptions caused by those.

“I hope nothing came of it.” Sabine worried as she was finishing putting things away. “I’m sure she was doing something up in Marinette’s room.”

“I’m sure if anything happened, Marinette could handle it. And if she couldn’t, she would let us know.” Tom replied as he headed to the laundry room to put away their used aprons and towels.

There was silence for a bit.

Then…

“Honey?”

Sabine paused and turned towards her husband. “Yes, dear?”

“Did that girl ever come back with Marinette’s clothes?”

Confused, she started towards the laundry room where her husband was. “No, why?”

Tom turned to her, with some items in hand. “I think she left her things behind and the Miracle Ladybug Cure didn’t send them back.”

Sabine stared. “Oh my!” She reached forward. “These look practically brand new!”

“And expensive.” Tom added.

The two looked over the items before looking up at each other. With a nod, they seemed to come to the same conclusion.

“Early birthday gift for Mari!”

“We’ll take it to Roger.”

…not…so same conclusion, evidently.

Sabine gave Tom a flat look. Tom smiled embarrassedly and rubbed his head.

“Yes. We can take it to Rodger as part of the case.” He agreed, sheepishly.

Sabine sighed and shook her head.

“Though maybe we can discuss it with the school.” She mused. “Since that girl is a student there. And some of the things on the Ladyblog are a bit concerning…”

“Should we still press charges?” Tom asked, worried. “Let’s wait and speak with Roger tomorrow. And see what Marinette has to add.” Sabine said, taking the items from Tom and placing them in a safety box where they wouldn’t be mistaken as common items.

…or early birthday gifts.

__________________

Taking the Dragon Miraculous back to Fu was easy enough.

Apologizing for beaning him with a pot was less so.

“It is all right, Marinette. Really.” Fu assured her as he took the box back from her and restored the choker to it’s rightful place. “With the Miraculous Cure, I no longer have the injury.”

Marinette winced from her seat at the table. “Still, I feel really bad about it.”

He shook his head. “You did what you had to. The akuma’s influence was widespread by that point and the situation was dire.”

Especially since her kwami and the Guardian himself had both been affected as well.

He wouldn’t say he…approved with her methods. Or the headache it had caused him. But it had allowed her to defeat the akuma and restore things in the end. And truly, that was what mattered.

“It took a lot of strength from you today, Marinette. I am proud of what you accomplished.” He told her as he returned the Miracle Box to its hiding place.

“I just wish I could have helped Rose more.” She murmured.

“You did everything you could, Marinette!” Tikki insisted.

“It is difficult, but sometimes there is only so much that can be done, even with the aid of the Miraculous.” Fu returned to his seat at the table. “But I sense that is not the only thing on your mind today. Am I wrong?”

Marinette gasped. “Oh, Master! There’s something we’ve discovered today. Something really important!”

Tikki gasped. “That’s right!”

The two nodded to each other and spoke at the same time.

“Gabriel Agreste is Hawk Moth!”

“Adrien invited you to see a movie!”

Marinette froze, turning red at the reminder.

Tikki, for her part, blinked at Marinette in confusion.

“Wait…you mean what Lila said earlier?”

“That’s right.” Marinette said, turning her attention to Fu and away from any distractions of stupidly cute blond boys. “Earlier today, Lila tried to claim that Gabriel Agreste was Hawk Moth.”

Fu frowned. “Marinette, are you sure about this? Lila Rossi was Hawk Moth’s accomplice. As well as an unrepentant liar. This may be a lie as well.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Lila tells lies if she thinks they’ll benefit her, but she’ll tell the truth if she thinks it could serve her more.”

Yeah, she knew that much from Lila’s attempt to sneak into her room and get dirt on her.

But more than that, Hawk Moth had betrayed Lila. After working with him all this time, someone she had…at least trusted she could use if not actually trusted had turned on her. And was even outright going to let the akuma kill her.

If Lila could be so spiteful for this long over Ladybug simply telling someone she had lied about knowing her, she couldn’t put it past the girl to not hold some grudge against Hawk Moth as well. And if she thought she knew who he was…

Well, if all else had failed her, there was no reason at that point not to try to reveal it.

“It would explain her connection to Gabriel Agreste as well.” Marinette reasoned. “He was a known recluse for a year before Adrien started school. He would keep Adrien from any events. Refused to let his friends come to visit him or for him to visit them. And wouldn’t even let Adrien have a birthday part.” She frowned, tapping her chin.

“So why would a man like that who is so protective of his son trust some random teenage girl with Adrien’s well being? Especially one he has never met who lied to his staff, forced her way into his home, manipulated his son into a photo op,” Not that she was bitter of course, “…and snuck into his personal office?”

Fu frowned, considering her words. “That is strange.”

“Exactly!” Marinette said, pushing closer to the table in earnest. “Even if she didn’t know he was Hawk Moth at the start, she still tried to get to him because of his control over Adrien. It was a connection she knew she could use, so it would benefit her. Which is Lila’s MO.” She said with a roll of her eyes.

She shook her head. “But this would explain why he would seemingly trust her. If he was Hawk Moth, that means he akumatized her before. Three times, even!”

Fu nodded. “The powers of the Butterfly would have let him know what she was like. If she was a willing assistant as Witch Hunter’s scroll proclaimed, he would have known.”

Tikki gasped. “It could also explain the mass akumatization when you had gotten expelled!”

Marinette gripped the table in growing anger. “They must have planned it! How else would he have known to have it ready?”

“Calm yourself, Marinette.” Fu reached out to place a hand over her own. “This is a good theory, but you don’t want to open yourself to an akuma. Especially not after everything that has already happened today.”

She wilted at that. “You’re right, Master. I’m sorry.”

“That is all right.” He assured her with a kind smile. “It is healthy to feel emotions, but you cannot let them overcome you.”

“But…” She hesitated. “Do you think I’m wrong?”

He paused for a moment, thinking it over as he took a sip of tea. “I had suspected once before that whomever had the Grimoire likely had both the missing Miraculous as well. After Gabriel Agreste had been akuamtized, I had wondered as you did whether it was simply coincidence.”

“Because the Butterfly user can’t akumatize himself, can he?” She asked.

He gestured to the tablet containing the translated Grimoire. “Normally, I would say not. But as you have learned, there are ways around any barrier. And as coincidences increase, at some point, we must ask how many coincidences are necessary before something is proven true.”

He smiled. “One such coincidence may be that he had the lost Grimoire. But another may be how convenient it was that he should be akumatized immediately when anyone may be suspecting him after its loss.”

She frowned, uncertain.

“Let us think on it for now, Marinette. And it will be best if we keep an eye on both Gabriel Agreste and Lila Rossi in the meantime.”

“Yes! Thank you, Master Fu!” She nodded before getting up and heading to the door.

“Goodbye, Master! Goodbye, Wayzz!” Tikki chimed before she flew into Marinette’s purse.

As Marinette walked down the street towards home with Tikki in tow, she continued to think over things. What she had learned. What Master Fu had told her. What she had experienced throughout the day.

“Oh!” She gasped as she realized something.

“What is it, Marinette?” Tikki asked from within the opening of the purse. They were mostly alone for the moment, so they could afford to speak if they did so quietly.

“Something I’d been meaning to ask you.” Marinette told her. “What happened with Lila today? The Cure normally fixes things to how they were before the akuma, so why was Lila covered in a full body rash?”

“The Cure sometimes acts in mysterious ways.” Tikki replied.

Marinette frowned. The answer was obviously vague. And Tikki’s refusal to meet her gaze indicated she knew more than she was letting on.

“Tikki…”

“Oh, look at the time! You should be getting home, Marinette!”

“TIKKI!”

__________________

Rose looked over her draft for what had to be the thirtieth time.

Excessive, maybe. But she wanted to make sure she was doing it right.

Ali,

I do not know if you will read this letter, or if it has even been permitted to reach you. At the very least, I am hoping for a chance to tell you from the bottom of my heart:

I am sorry.

While I had never meant to harm you, it doesn’t change the fact that you were harmed. And this harm could have been prevented had I been more cautious.

I could come up with any number of reasons as to why I chose to put my trust in the wrong person. The girl I had thought was promoting this charity was my friend. I wanted to believe the best in my friend. But that is no excuse.

If I truly had respect for you as a friend and as your station of Prince, I should have done my due diligence in ensuring the honesty of anyone I trusted. Especially before I tried to encourage you to trust them as well.

You were right. It was foolish of me.

From your perspective, it must have seemed as a sign that I did not take your friendship seriously. And I am deeply ashamed that I ever allowed that impression to anyone, but to you most of all.

If you choose not to forgive me, I understand. But I at least want you to know that I am going to make this right.

I am pursuing legal options against the girl in question. I do not know how much we will be able to see returned, but I fully intent to refund the donations to you and everyone else who had trusted me to do the right thing.

This may not fix anything. And you do not owe me anything from it. But I hope I can at least try to make up for my mistake and be the person you believed me capable of instead of the fool she turned me into.

Thank you for everything,

Rose

She took a breath.

Okay.

This was it then.

Any last words? Any final changes? Any regrets?

…no.

She shut her eyes and clicked ‘send’.

And finally exhaled. With the air, she breathed out all of her anxieties, fears, and doubts.

She had done what she could.

She was doing what she can.

That was…that was all anyone could expect of her.

All that she could expect of herself.

…

…

…

That didn’t make it not ache though.

But there was nothing for it now, she realized as she turned away from her computer to go to bed.

She wanted to fix things. Desperately so. But she couldn’t force Ali to accept her apology and forgive her anymore than she could force Lila to be honest.

Rose curled up under her covers and hugged her pillow close.

It was a small comfort. But one she was going to allow herself.

She hoped for the best. She always did.

But even if he didn’t…she would move forward and continue doing good. Just as he inspired her to.

She just…

A couple tears fell.

She had just wished he would be around to see it.

It would take another hour before she would fall asleep.

…

…

…

It would be another three hours before an email alert came up on her computer.

__________________

Ugh.

Lila fell onto her bed, huffing angrily.

This whole day sucked.

She was attacked by an akuma. Everyone turned on her. Hawk Moth was going to let her die. And even when everything was saved, everything was ruined.

Thanks, Rose. Thanks, Hawk Moth. Thanks, Ladybug.

And now she was stuck here in Paris and couldn’t even get away from any of it!

She groaned into her pillow. She couldn’t be too loud, though, as her mother was being annoyingly alert and “keeping an eye on her” now. The last thing she needed was to give her reason to suspect something was up and cause her to come barging into her room.

There was no escape this time. Not now that everyone knew.

She’d still have to deal with her class. Even worse, she’d have to see Adrien and Marinette making eyes at each other.

She’d still have to deal with the school. And now that they knew what she did, she wouldn’t be getting away with anything again.

She’d still have to deal with Hawk Moth, and his akumas would still be a risk for her, as well. She wouldn’t put it past him to try to take her out. What little power and control she had was gone now.

And worst of all…

…Ladybug.

That measly little bug and her damn threat against her. To follow her. To keep an eye on her. To be her…special friend.

Like she would really do that.

Lila turned over in her sheets, settling into her bed and getting comfortable.

Or trying, at least.

Something felt off. She just didn’t know what.

She glanced around her room. It was much more barren now since her mother had cleared out a lot of her belongings. Her laptop and cellphone were gone, as was the limited light they provided in the dark.

She huffed and turned over to face away from the door.

Half asleep, she glanced out the window.

Two glowing blue orbs were staring back.

She screamed.

__________________

A creak of a window opening and closing.

A giggle.

“Huh? Tikki? Zzat you?”

“I’m fine, Marinette. I was just checking on something.”

A yawn.

“What was it?”

Another giggle.

“Nothing important.”

Two blue eyes sent a glare out into the city.

“Nothing at all...”

[donald-is-my-man]

I’ve realized a thing about Ressler.

Disclaimer: I’ll interpret the shit out of it the way I please, so don’t swing your canon bat at me.

I'm on the app, so no spoiler thingy. Gotta ruin your dash, ig.

Special Agent Donald Ressler is an imposter.

A sum of choices which were never his own in the first place.

Caged in the cell of what-ifs, doubts, self-loathing, and, most importantly, of unfulfilled dreams and desires.

The cracks in his facade of a justice crusader are beginning to show.

i.

Donald-not-the-Agent is a good man. An honest man. A caring man.

An idealist. A believer. A man of honor and a man of his word.

Donald is led by revenge when he’s applying for the FBI. “Fueled by inner rage.”

His desire to avenge his father isn’t exactly what you'd call “honoring one's memory”.

One can't uphold the law and have their revenge.

Donald is trying to fix something which can be never fixed. Refuses to acknowledge that no amount of saved lives can change it. I'm not even sure he's allowed himself to grief properly.

Reddington—another Tommy Markin Ressler couldn’t have caught in time, a physical manifestation of Ressler’s hate and guilt. Ressler projects his rage onto Reddington, convincing himself that if he catches him, he'll make it right.

The truth is, Reddington isn't the solution. The issue lies much, much deeper.

I stand by my opinion that Don wouldn’t have killed Markin. Markin escaping justice, his dirty deeds covered by the mafia or the mobsters taking him out to cover loose ends make more sense for Ressler’s character. Forever haunted by the missed opportunity, by the guilt of not being able to save his father, by the injustice, and by the fact that he’s too weak to serve the justice himself, adds the depth Ressler lacks on the show. On the show, Ress kills Markin and it straightens him out, and that makes him just another good guy occasionally getting into trouble.

Red once said that revenge is a disease. Well, with Ressler it’s a pathology.

His father. Audrey. Meera.

For some reason, the writers didn't go through with Liz which is shame—she could've been the trigger to unhinge him and embrace the darkness in his heart. And the fact that he brings death to everyone around him could be a powerful cathartic element and a natural conclusion he'd have come to. I once have touched upon the death theme in Red's and Don's lives, and the fact that they both are lethal to their loved ones is another common thing they share but that's another conversation for another day :)

His father’s death has ruined his life, shattered his dreams. It had set him on another path, different from what he wanted.

And what he wanted, exactly?

An outsider, a looser growing up in a rough neighborhood, possibly bullied because of his looks and his dad's occupation. A boy who's trying to be a good son but sometimes fails, a boy who can't understand why dad's job is more important than their family. A boy who's dreaming of escaping all this, do something adventurous.

Just anything else, away from all this. Away from constant hardships. Away from expectations. Away from the place reminding him how weak, how incapable he is. Away from the rot, corruption, dirt.

He’s grown into an ambitious young man, a proud man, a patriot. But he’s never meant to become an agent. Not like that, at least.

A sailor? A navy seal? A soldier? Or maybe a sportsman?

I tend to think Don actually hated his father’s job because he was never around. And he might have sworn to never become like him.

His father’s death is his point of no return. He buries his aspirations and becomes a hunter—because he can’t afford being a prey. Forsakes his old self to build a new persona—endurable, courageous, invincible. Erects the bulletproof wall around him so no one can get through it. Puts on the armor, the “Family, God, Homeland” engraved on his shield.

But it’s not who he is.

He is humanistic—he values an innocent life so much he’s ready to sacrifice himself. He values the sacred integrity of a human's life.

He’ll shoot only as a last resort, in case of imminent danger or a threat to an innocent.

Did you notice how he reacts to his own kills on the job? He’s glad that the criminal is gone but he actually wishes for another outcome—the jury and the judge, and a proper sentence.

He doesn’t consider himself an executioner. His job is to uphold the law, to make sure that justice is served.

Death from a bullet isn’t justice, it’s an easy escape.

ii.

Ressler is a classic tragic hero.

Aristotle defined a tragic hero rather strictly as a man of noble birth with heroic qualities whose fortunes change due to a tragic flaw or mistake (often emerging from the character's own heroic qualities) that ultimately brings about the tragic hero's terrible, excessive downfall

He has many flaws—pride, selfishness, stubbornness.

He's angry, too—at his father. At the world. At himself. Mostly at himself because he thinks he should've been there for his father.

But his most prominent flaw is self-doubt.

I also think that most of the time Donald doubts himself as worthy of existing—that's why he risks his life without hesitation.

He toys with death not because he's suicidal, but because he wants to prove to himself he is worthy of living.

Red, whether consciously or not, has prompted Ressler to doubt himself even further.

Which, ultimately, leads to his downfall.

iii.

An idealist by nature, Donald is constantly torn between the flaws of the world and his own. Every day he sees the imperfections of the world, the true nature of all those people, and yet he still hopes to make it better.

He cares about the fate of the world more than anyone else on the TF. Of course, he'll never admit it, but if you remember all those moments when he's escorting the victims to ambulances or rescues trapped kids, you realize that this man cares.

Started as a way of sublimating his pain and the desire to avenge his father, this job had given him a purpose. That's why he's holding onto it throughout the series. You take it from him, you take his purpose away.

A soldier with no purpose is doomed.

And if damaged enough, he'll seek for that purpose somewhere else.

iv.

Anslo Garrick episode is an episode where his black-and-white world is torn into shreds.

He looks at Red and sees himself in a distorted mirror. I assume it's the same way for Red, hence his fondness for him. And I'm guessing, the fact that Reddington seems to have this human side too, terrifies Ressler a great deal.

Imagine what Ressler goes through when he realizes that Reddington does everything to save him. The man he’s hating with all his core, whom he tried to kill (not once, a couple of times), who reminds him of his father’s demise. This man is determined to save his life and he's not asking anything in return.

It's absolutely incomprehensible for Ressler.

That's when the shift in his personality starts, and the saint and sinner in him begin to compete.

v.

On Mako Tanida, the peak Ressler's personal tragedy episode, Doanld, led by desire of vengeance once again, leaves Jonica alive although he’s the real reason Audrey is gone. Mako has pulled the trigger but Jonica is responsible for Audrey’s death.

But Donald doesn’t kill him. He wants to. God, he wants nothing else but to empty the mag into his face.

I think it's Donald first time realizing he has darkness within him. It almost costs him his job. His emotions cost him his whole life, really. Because his job now is his life.

He repeats the same scenario with Audrey as with his father, only that Audrey's death is more complicated because of pregnancy and the level of connection they shared.

Revenge is his coping mechanism [once again]—he couldn't avenge his father, couldn't catch Red, and now he's after Tanida. Another attempt to fix things, to make it right. He is well aware it won't bring Audrey back, but he does it anyway.

The only person Donald turns for help (out of necessity) is Red. And Red is actually the only person (except Jonica) who realizes Don's plan (ofc, Don doesn't share it directly, but it's obvious for Red since he knows Donald well enough, and he's been in the same situation).

Like no other, Red understands Donald. He understands him because Donald has the same issue he, Red, once had—the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself.

The darkness in Donald’s heart. His determination to do the right thing. And his desire for vengeance.

Red also knows the price one is paying once crossing the line. And he's aware, I'm sure of it, that Donald has never wanted any of this. Don's sense of what's right is pulling one over him, and he's not ready for what's coming after.

Red never regrets what he's done to the person who's hurt someone close to him. He's comfortable with it, and his conscience doesn't bother him.“...deep in his heart, he knows—he must pay.”

For such a person like Ressler, taking someone's life, even if it's justified, has consequences. Not disastrous as taking someone's life in the line of Don's work, but no less dangerous in the long term.

There's no logical explanation to this, but for some reason known only to him, Red doesn't want Ressler to pay that price.

“He has a good soul.”

vi.

When Meera dies, we see Donald act differently in the interrogation room. He doesn't kill the guy but he is actually considering such possibility even though there's no evidence he's the murderer. But Ressler's gut tells him he is. They—the murderer and Don—both know what he did.

Don blames himself for Meera' death. It's the rinse and repeat scenario of him being helpless and incapable when his dad and Audrey die.

So he yields to his emotions and betrays his own principles—treating every suspect as innocent until the evidence proves so.

Sure, most would say this makes him a hypocrite. Maybe he is. We all are, probably. Some more than others.

However, each time Donald goes against the book and lets his emotions steer him while advocating for reason and cold-blooded attitude when on the job, he does so not to exercise his authority but to do what's right because he sees the flaw in the system.

He—again—hopes to bypass that flaw and actually make the system work. He refuses to believe that something designed to do good, to bring justice, does the opposite.

One can't break the system while considering himself a part of it.

He's not ready to cut himself off from it.

Not yet.

vii.

Even being this close to crossing over, Donald still can't accept his dark impulses within—he thinks that by accepting this side of himself, he'll taint his father's sacrifice.

He does accept now—thanks to Red—the nuances of existing in the world. It's no longer black-and-white for him. Dubious and ambiguous.

And yet, after all this time, and, especially, after escaping prison, he is sure, more than ever, about one thing.

He's unworthy of the sacrifice his dad had done—because there were the times those impulses had taken over him.

Mako/Jonica; being somewhat sympathetic to Reddington; Prescott.

With Prescott he's actually finalized his presence on the other side—he can't go back from what he's done.

“I didn’t want Prescott’s real name so that I could kill him. I wanted it so I could arrest him.”

“He goes to prison, so will you.”

“I know, but I’m in the darkness, and doing the right thing is the only way I’ll ever feel the light again.”

He can't forgive himself.

viii.

“Sins should be buried like the dead.”

“Not that they may be forgotten, but that we may remember them and find our way forward nonetheless.”

We, the audience, know Ressler belongs in a jail. Ressler knows it too—that's why he's angry at Red. He was ready to be punished. Because he deserves that. He doesn't think he's above the law.

We also know that Red has been dancing long enough beyond any lines of what's good and what's evil, and he is hardly the one who can give Ressler patronizing speeches. And by saving him, in Donald’s eyes, Red evens him to other scumbags who cover up their crimes.

But that's not what Red has done for Donald.

He's given him an absolution. Forgiveness from his sins.

Red does it unconditionally—again—for the reasons known only to him.

I'm not gonna dive into the problematic content of Red actually knowing the whole Prescott issue and watching Donald do all those things because... It will take me another couple of pages lol. But surely, you can't deny how messed up Red's behavior is in that case. Tough [father's] love, I guess.

He wants Donald to forgive himself. Acknowledge—to himself—that he shouldn't be ashamed of the guilt he's carrying, and of darkness in his heart.

If Donald wants to move forward, he has to acknowledge this:

we are all sinners, one way or the other. We all make mistakes. And those mistakes don't define us if we're willing to make up for them, if we're willing to change, to redeem ourselves.

What happens next, whatever choice he makes, it doesn't define him as tainted, unworthy, irredeemable.

Accepting your own self has never been easy. And the fight between two wolves is never over in Donald's heart.

But there's always a new day. Another chance to do what's right.

There's always hope.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

So I watched 10.09 recently, and it has that part where Dean tells a story about him basically being almost roofied as a teen, but somehow it ends up framed as the funny joke and yet another proof that John "did what he could", and I kind of hate this? And it's the same episode in which MoC!Dean killed guys that kidnapped and tried to rape Claire, and you'd think writers would've addressed the parallels and acknowledge that Dean could've been triggered by this situation. 1/2

2/2 But in the end, it's never addressed, and the whole situation is framed as the proof that Dean is evil now. And I'm not even sure what I am trying to say, but with that being the show's approach back in s10, I'm not surprised about the finale anymore. Guess we should've known?

That’s an excellent angle to look at the issue because the Mark of Cain arc is a clear example of how people with different experiences will see the same thing in wildly different ways. There’s this phase of season 10 where everyone is like “oh no Dean is Getting Worse” and when you look at what Dean is doing... you actually go “...good for him”.

Let’s give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. It’s not “the writers” in this case, it’s Dabb. Plenty of other writers don’t fall into this John apologism thing. Just look at how the episode before Lebanon, written by Buckner and Ross Leming, says that sometimes John would temporarily kick Dean out because he was “pissed at him” despite Dean always taking his side to mantain the peace. It almost seems like a statement to sprinkle some salt given what Dabb does in Lebanon, you know? Maybe not, but there is a tension between “John was shitty” writers and “John did his best” writers.

In hindsight, we gave Dabb too much of the benefit of the doubt. We were like, weeell, that’s supposed to be way the characters perceive the truth, which is distorted by the trauma... But now it’s obvious that he truly believed in the John-did-his-best version. He brought him back and got Mary back with him. No matter what happened to the finale, the network didn’t print those pictures of John and Mary to hang on Sam’s wall. He never took Dean’s abuse seriously and it shows.

The “anedocte” of Dean getting drugged and “saved” by John from being raped is obviously there to parallel him with Claire. Which works! It’s so weird because it’s like. You are soooo close to getting the point. Younger Dean was assaulted just like this teenage girl is assaulted and Dean saves her... but apparently John yelling at those people is a good way of dealing with the issue, while murdering child traffickers is an overraction thus bad.

That’s the problem, isn’t it? That Dean’s murder spree is framed as an overreaction. Sam is like “tell me you had to do this! tell me it was you or them!” - the answer to which (by the narrative) is obviously no, it wasn’t self defense, he just killed them because he could. He just murdered those men for no reason except he felt like being murdery. And the audience is supposed to be like “oh no! Dean is murdery for no reason except for murderiness! That’s bad!”.

But it’s a power fantasy, isn’t it? Going on a murder spree on rapists and traffickers. I bet any people who’s been violated like that has fantasized of doing the exact thing Dean does here. Killing them all.

Dean had the physical strength and skill to kill them all, why shouldn’t he kill them? (I mean, in real life I’m against private justice because I’m a fan of the state of law, but the Supernatural universe obviously works on different principles than the state of law. Again, it’s a fictional narrative that plays out as a fantasy for the audience, so.)

So what was Dabb’s intention? I’m afraid it’s the worst one. “John Winchester’s not going to win any Number One Dad awards, you know? But, you know, damn if he wasn’t there when we needed him”. What the fuck, Dabb? It’s been established since season 1 that John WASN’T there when they needed him. Which... I’m afraid... leads us to the Cas-Claire plot in the episode. Cas has fucked off with Jimmy’s body leaving Claire on her own. Parallels how John wasn’t going to win wny Number One Dad awards. But! Cas is there when Claire Really Needs Him i.e. when she’s about to be raped by older men. Parallels how John was there when Dean Really Needed Him i.e. when he was about to be raped by older men.

I think the point is to say, Cas kinda sucked because he took Claire’s dad away but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Claire because he gets there in time to prevent her from being raped. Just like (ew) John kinda sucked as a father because hunting and stuff, but hey! He’s actually a good figure for Dean because he got there in time to prevent him from being raped.

It’s pretty yucky. Literally NOBODY wanted a parallel between Cas and John. But he made one. And he made one to absolve Cas from the guilt he carried for what he did to Claire (Claire’s mother is a mother so who fucking cares about her. She’s basically a Blurry Wife(TM), she’s only a tool for Claire’s arc, Cas apparently only cares about the harm he did the child, not the wife, for some reason.) and to absolve Cas from his guilt it absolves John too. Don’t worry, being a parent is hard. You often screw up. But you can *looks at smudged writing on hand* prevent the kid from being raped by predatory adults and everything’s fine now.

It’s not really important if the child suffered hunger or whatever, the only important thing is that they don’t get raped, because that’s bad, everything else is just a little detail.

All Dabb got with that scene was to paint Sam as extremely unsympathetic because he’s no longer a child, he’s a full adult now and still thinks of that episode at the CBGB as a funny story. That’s not a good look. It almost makes you think that the writer himself saw it as a funny story. Lol teenage boy biting more than he can chew. But then why the Claire parallel? The Claire scene onviously is not supposed to be anything but horrific. I'll give Dabb the benefit of the doubt on this specific thing.

It’s weird, yes, because Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon where he establishes that John was a bad husband/father even before tragedy hit the family. But apparently that’s the “not going to win any Number One Dad awards” part, I suppose? I guess he intended to write John as this flawed, ~complex~ figure who was imperfect but still brave and whatever blah blah did his best blah blah. I’m all for flawed complicated characters but a horrible father is a horrible father. A rose by any other name... parental abuse is still parental abuse even if the poor guy was complicated and traumatized and did what he thought he had to do to prepare his sons for a violent world.

Also, the story frames Dean’s escapade as a teenager being stupid. “You know what he got for that? Me whining about how much he embarrassed me. Me telling him that I hated him. But then he stopped and turned around looked at me and said, Son, you don’t like me? That’s fine. It’s not my job to be liked.” “It’s my job to raise you right.” This seems straight from a novel about teenagers doing something stupid that they’re too young to realize that their parents are right to be against them doing. But this isn’t just... a parent walking into a bar to stop their child to drink alcohol. Dean literally describes feeling sick from something that was inside the alcohol.

Sure, it makes sense that he’d lash out to John because of the shame and shock. But the scene is... off. Are we supposed to see this as a typical teenage mistake? Are we supposed to read it as something as horrific as what happened to Claire, literally sold into rape? Or, worse, are we supposed to see what happened to Claire as a teenage mistake, ah silly teenager, blindly trusting shady people, no wonder you end up in a situation where you’d get raped if a father figure didn’t sweep in and save you. I hope that wasn’t the intent.

To get back to Dean’s Mark-of-Cain violence, the writers clearly didn’t intend it to come from the Darkness up to a certain point. It was supposed to an arc about your own inner darkness (consider the Charlie episode, a couple episodes later). Then they came up with the idea of The(TM) Darkness, the suppressed cosmic feminine. While it caused a bit of dissonance in the subtext, it doesn’t really change Dean’s narrative, because his inner darkness is the trauma, and his trauma is inherebtly tied to the “feminine” i.e. the parts of him that don’t fit seamlessly into the scheme of toxic masculinity values. That the violence that comes from the Mark of Cain comes from Dean himself and that’s it, or is connected to the Darkness, it doesn’t change what it means for Dean. Dean and Amara have parallel histories, the feminine principle locked away, the trauma the anger stems from.

In 10x09 we’re still in the Before The (TM) Darkness era, before the suppressed cosmic feminine. The Mark of Cain arc is still about... well, Cain. But the shift is the signal that someone looked at Dean’s arc and said... you know what? “Lucifer gave me this curse so now I’m demonic and murdery” is meh. “Toxic masculinity suppresses the feminine and it creates trauma which rage and violence comes from” is more interesting. I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a good idea, and surely the idea came from seeing how Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding.

Dean’s MoC narrative was unfolding in a certain way, in fact, because of a pretty simple reason. There’s a fundamental tension in Dean’s MoC arc. We want him to go murdery, but it’s also our main character, so we don’t want him to do really horrible things because he still needs to be relatable. The audience cannot hate him, so he must NOT do something entirely unforgivable. He still needs to be somewhat relatable, even when demonic or demonic-adjacent.

So he goes on a murder spree... but it’s rapists and child traffickers. He’s demon, but he kills a misogynistic dude that wanted his wife dead for cheating on him. He’s a demon, but beats up dudes that harass women. He does a slaughter, but they’re nazi. He’s off the deep end, but works a case of kidnapped and abused young women...

Speaking of which. 10x23, written by Jeremy Carver. Dean works a case where a girl was killed while dressed scantily and Dean makes some slut-shaming remarks, and we’re supposed to think “whoa Dean, that’s bad”. But later he confronts the girl’s father and what does he say?

I’m just doing my job, Mr. McKinley.

By suggesting my daughter was a slut?

I’ll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home.

You shut your face right now.

And you know what? I don’t blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her.

Back then the episode was super controversial and everyone hated the case because of the apparent slut-shaming but I loved it! Because it’s not about the girl. It’s about Dean. Dean doesn’t think that a girl gets killed because she dresses in a miniskirt so it’s her fault. Dean is projecting on himself and he’s not actually victim blaming the girl, he’s victim blaming himself. And when he absolves the girl by putting the blame on the father... well, subtextually he’s absolving himself by putting the blame on his father. On the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervaded his own home. He’s textually not ready to absolve himself, of course, he summons Death to ask him to kill him later, but subtextually he’s on the right path.

Rose McKinley basically did the same mistake Dean did at the CBGB when he trusted some older people who offered him drinks and the same mistake Claire did when she trusted a man who sold her for money because he offered him a place and stability. She trusted the wrong people (in this case, vampires, which adds the whole subtext of vampires and sexuality) who took advantage of her. Except Rose had no one to save her. (Her friend, Crystal, gets rescued by Dean, even if he causes the other hunter Rudy to die in the process.)

Carver’s writing is pretty brutal. The girl made that mistake because was abused at home, so she was desperate for validation and that desperation drove her into the wrong hands. (Rose even has a brother who blames himself for bringing her sister to her future murderers, destructive sibling relationship check.) It doesn’t actually even matter if Dean guessed right about Rose’s family situation, because what matters is what it tells us about Dean. He basically relates to a dead abused girl. Actually all through the season Dean is paralleled to “skanks” “sluts” and sex workers. Obviously this happens kinda all through the show, the whole “the business is based on absent fathers” thing happened much earlier in the story, so it’s not new. But s10 draws a picture of female suffering - abuse, manipulation and death. Season 10 was difficult to go through. In hindsight, it was probably on purpose because it was supposed to be darkest hour of the feminine. Summed with some good old fashioned misogyny, but hey.

The Carver era was wonky but Carver wanted to free the feminine. (I believe that Mary’s comeback, while written by Dabb because of the showrunner shift, was planned before the showrunner shift.) We thought the Dabb era wanted the same, with Mary choosing life and Amara being independent and so on, but it evidently wasn’t the case. Not a single woman arrives at end of the story. It’s hardly ~Bucklemming or ~the network or ~covid because it starts before the very end.

I’m not saying that dead sluts are more feminist than living women, but if the women die or disappear anyway (and they did) I’d rather have an exploration of trauma than nothing. And I definitely prefer a dead slut narrative that calls out parental abuse than a narrative where women live but abuse gets the you-did-your-best treatment.

Whoops! I digressed! But feel free to ask for any clarification or send me any observation or thought.

[mrsjadecurtiss]

What do you think of Robert? What are your opinions on him, do you think that if the war never happened that he'd still go down this self destructive path?

I think Robert was fundamentally not made to be a king - He has the charisma and the looks and is an able warrior, but his negative character traits are indulged and enhanced by his position and led him down an almost unavoidable path.

Robert is someone who above all wants to enjoy and live an easy life:

"You need to come south," Robert told him. "You need a taste of summer before it flees. [...] Flowers everywhere, the markets bursting with food, the summerwines so cheap and so good that you can get drunk just breathing the air. Everyone is fat and drunk and rich." He laughed and slapped his own ample stomach a thump. "And the girls, Ned!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling. "I swear, women lose all modesty in the heat.[...]" The king laughed happily. Robert Baratheon had always been a man of huge appetites, a man who knew how to take his pleasures. - Eddard I, aGoT

"Robert wanted smiles and cheers, always, so he went where he found them, to his friends and his whores. Robert wanted to be loved." - Sansa IV, aCoK

He has just enough of a moral understanding to at least know when he is doing wrong and to even feel bad about it at times, but not enough to actually change anything about himself.

The rage was gone from him now; in his eyes Ned saw something sad and scared. "I should not have hit [Cersei]. That was not … that was not kingly." He stared down at his hands, as if he did not quite know what they were. - Eddard X, aGoT

Robert desires to have an easy life, he wants to be loved, he wants to have fun, but he does not want to deal with the hard and unpleasant things. In times of crisis, he wants to take the easy way out, and he prefers to avoid uncomfortable truths.

Lord Tywin stared at him as if he had lost his wits. "[...] When I laid those bodies before the throne, no man could doubt that we had forsaken House Targaryen forever. And Robert's relief was palpable. As stupid as he was, even he knew that Rhaegar's children had to die if his throne was ever to be secure. Yet he saw himself as a hero, and heroes do not kill children." - Tyrion VI, aSoS

"Well, now I know Jaime's dark sin, and the matter can be forgotten. I am heartily sick of secrets and squabbles and matters of state, Ned." - Eddard II, aGoT

"Most likely the king did not know," Littlefinger said. "It would not be the first time. Our good Robert is practiced at closing his eyes to things he would rather not see." - Eddard IV, aGoT

He feels most comfortable when he is surrounded by people who love him and know how to handle him/want the best for him, and steer him onto the right path in a way where he can still feel good about himself.

"These are difficult times. I need good men about me. Men like Jon Arryn. He served as Lord of the Eyrie, as Warden of the East, as the Hand of the King. He will not be easy to replace." - Eddard I, aGoT

In an environment that works against him, or goes against his wishes even if it is for the better, it creates a destructive energy in him. He cannot stand dissent to his wishes because it robs him of a pleasure he desires, and creates unwanted conflict. He also cannot handle constructive criticism because it makes him confront unpleasant truths - he always wants the easiest path with the least tension. If he is presented with a situation that strains his limits as there is no amiable solution to a difficult/disturbing problem, his reaction is a toxic one; turning to rage and violence even towards his own child.

Not for the first time, he wondered what he was doing here and why he had come. He was no Jon Arryn, to curb the wildness of his king and teach him wisdom. Robert would do what he pleased, as he always had, and nothing Ned could say or do would change that. - Eddard II, aGoT

He may act against what he knows is right, because it is the easiest route; like when he has the wolf Lady killed to please Cersei:

“A costly pelt,” Robert grumbled. “I want no part of this, woman. You can damn well buy your furs with Lannister gold.” [...] "We have a wolf," Cersei Lannister said. Her voice was very quiet, but her green eyes shone with triumph. It took them all a moment to comprehend her words, but when they did, the king shrugged irritably. "As you will. Have Ser Ilyn see to it." - “Robert, you cannot mean this,” Ned protested. The king was in no mood for more argument. “Enough, Ned, I will hear no more." - Eddard III, aGoT

"I am sorry for your girl, Ned. Truly. About the wolf, I mean. My son was lying, I'd stake my soul on it." - Eddard VII, aGoT

And when Ned reprimands him about Daenerys he will not hear dissent, even though he knows deep down that it is wrong:

He gave the king a long cool look. “Would [the man who spared Barristan] were here today.” Robert had shame enough to blush. “It was not the same,” he complained. “Ser Barristan was a knight of the Kingsguard.” - “Whereas Daenerys is a fourteen-year-old girl.”

[...] “Not another word. Have you forgotten who is king here?” - “No, Your Grace,” Ned replied. “Have you?” - “Enough!” the king bellowed. “I am sick of talk. I’ll be done with this, or be damned."

[...] “I will not be part of murder, Robert. Do as you will, but do not ask me to fix my seal to  it.” For a moment Robert did not seem to understand what Ned was saying. Defiance was not a dish he tasted often. Slowly his face changed as comprehension came. [...] “You are the King’s Hand, Lord Stark. You will do as I command you, or I’ll find me a Hand who will.” - “I wish him every success.” Ned [...] laid [his badge of office] on the table in front of the king, saddened by the memory of the man who had pinned it on him, the friend he had loved. “I thought you a better man than this, Robert. I thought we had made a nobler king.” Robert’s face was purple. “Out,” he croaked, choking on his rage. “[...] Go, run back to Winterfell. And make certain I never look on your face again, or I swear, I’ll have your head on a spike!” - Eddard VIII, aGoT

“Gods have mercy,” he muttered, swallowing his agony. “The girl. Daenerys. Only a child, you were right . . . that’s why, the girl . . . the gods sent the boar . . . sent to punish me . . .” - Eddard XIII, aGoT

Robert is a man who always wants it easy, he wants his demands to always be fulfilled, to be loved and have fun without dealing with the bad things; but an important theme that is repeated over and over in asoiaf is that you can only act good if you are willing to face the bad that may come with it, and if you cannot live with the consequences, your action might not be justified.*

Bran thought about it. "Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" - "That is the only time a man can be brave." - Bran I, aGoT

"Sacrifice . . . is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice." - Davos VI, aSoS

"The blood of the First Men still flows in the veins of the Starks, and we hold to the belief that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die." - Bran I, aGoT

Ned stood, gently disengaging himself from Sansa's grasp. All the weariness of the past four days had returned to him. "Do it yourself then, Robert," he said in a voice cold and sharp as steel. "At least have the courage to do it yourself." - Robert looked at Ned with flat, dead eyes and left without a word, his footsteps heavy as lead. Silence filled the hall. - Eddard III, aGoT

This is why putting him on the throne was poison - all the power in the world, and noone who would dare go against his wishes. It indulges all of Robert's worst traits, and buries anything he had inside him that was salvageable.

Ser Barristan Selmy spoke up. "Your Grace," he said, "it is not seemly that the king should ride into the melee. It would not be a fair contest. Who would dare strike you?" - "Ser Barristan is right. There's not a man in the Seven Kingdoms who would dare risk your displeasure by hurting you." - Eddard VII, aGoT

I am surrounded by flatterers and fools, the king had insisted. Ned looked down the council table and wondered which were the flatterers and which the fools. He thought he knew already. - Eddard IV, aGoT

And Robert knows it - he knows being a king isn't for him, that he doesn't enjoy the actual work that goes into governing, that he doesn't have the personality for such politics or to deal with the people involved, and that he would much rather spend his time enjoying life and doing what he loves...

"Look at what kinging has done to me. Gods, too fat for my armor, how did it ever come to this? [...] I swear to you, I was never so alive as when I was winning this throne, or so dead as now that I’ve won it." - Eddard VII, aGoT

"I swear to you, sitting a throne is a thousand times harder than winning one. Laws are a tedious business and counting coppers is worse. And the people … there is no end of them. I sit on that damnable iron chair and listen to them complain until my mind is numb and my ass is raw. They all want something, money or land or justice. The lies they tell … and my lords and ladies are no better. I am surrounded by flatterers and fools. It can drive a man to madness, Ned. Half of them don't dare tell me the truth, and the other half can't find it. There are nights I wish we had lost at the Trident. Ah, no, not truly, but …" - Eddard I, aGoT

Robert groaned with good-humored impatience. "If I wanted to honor you, I'd let you retire. I am planning to make you run the kingdom and fight the wars while I eat and drink and wench myself into an early grave." - Eddard I, aGoT

"Let me tell you a secret, Ned. More than once, I have dreamed of giving up the crown. Take ship for the Free Cities with my horse and my hammer, spend my time warring and whoring, that's what I was made for. The sellsword king, how the singers would love me." - Eddard VII, aGoT

And yet he doesn't do anything about it and keeps staying at the position he hates - he does not want to deal with the uncomfortable consequences that would come with upsetting the status quo, or making changes to his own personality and going through growth, or confronting ugly truths about himself in a productive way, etc etc.

He does make a talk of changes at times during aGoT, and seems to have a sense of responsibility about his Job, but as it is his desire for changes came too late, and what responsibility he felt mostly served to paralyze him in place.

"The sellsword king, how the singers would love me. You know what stops me? The thought of Joffrey on the throne, with Cersei standing behind him whispering in his ear. My son. How could I have made a son like that, Ned?" - Eddard VII, aGoT

"I'm still young, and now that you're here with me, things will be different. We'll make this a reign to sing of, and damn the Lannisters to seven hells." - Eddard VII, aGoT

In a way Joffrey is to Robert what Ramsay is to Roose: an exploration of the inherent flaw in their way of life, demonstrated in the most extreme case. In Joffrey's case, it shows what happens to give someone unlimited power with noone daring to oppose them.

Do you think that if the war never happened that he'd still go down this self destructive path?

It's a little unclear which war you mean, so I will briefly touch on several points:

There could have been ideal circumstances where he might have worked out as a king, if he was surrounded by people who know the perfect way to deal with him and make him work past his flaws (intuitively doing the work of a modern therapist), but the average life is not ideal and grrm shows the realistic fate of a man like Robert.

I think by the time Ned arrived it was sadly too late to change - maybe if the Lannisters didn't exist, or this or that event hadn't happened, but Grrm shows that most of what lead to Robert's downfall was in the end caused by himself. Cersei kills him because she came to despise the man he was, and for good reason as he abused her during all her marriage - and while he has some scenes of feeling bad or even apologizing for it, he never made any attempts to actually change the terrible way he was treating her.

If Robert's Rebellion never happened, he would have probably made an able enough Lord of Storm's End; delegating his "boring" administrative duties to his advisors and maester, enjoying the privileges of highborn life, and having just enough responsibility to feel like the alpha male of his society yet not enough to do as lasting damage as he did for the throne. He would not have been the best Lord, but sadly there are many worse in Westeros, since the entire dynastic ruling system is inherently flawed. If he would have been a better person depends on who he is surrounded with, if circumstances would have motivated him to change, or if perhaps his position of power and outward influences would still just have indulged him into the man he was in aGoT. Ultimately, there are a lot of butterfly effects leading to different results that i’m sure have been explored in many fics.

"Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature." - Eddard IX, aGoT

This was the boy he had grown up with, he thought; this was the Robert Baratheon he'd known and loved. If he could prove that the Lannisters were behind the attack on Bran, prove that they had murdered Jon Arryn, this man would listen. Then Cersei would fall, and the Kingslayer with her, and if Lord Tywin dared to rouse the west, Robert would smash him as he had smashed Rhaegar Targaryen on the Trident. He could see it all so clearly. - Eddard VII, aGoT    

What do you think of Robert?

Since i am someone who frequently enjoys morally grey and villainous characters, despite his many negative traits i have a fondness of Robert; I think he is an interesting character and very human in his flaws, and there is a lot of melancholy to his story that makes me somber about him even if it obviously does not excuse his bad actions. I also think he has a great character design that's fun to draw and some fun boisterous scenes, and some of his positive qualities remind me of people i know.

*Stannis is an interesting character as Robert’s brother, as he is the opposite to him in this regard, as well as in many aspects of their personality and even their outward presentation (like how Stannis crops his beard short to contrast Robert’s wild one)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Do you think the 3zun dynamics would change veryuchf they were age swapped? If NMJ were the youngest, or LXC the oldest, or even JGY as oldest? not a prompt, just warning your thoughts!

on ao3

Meng Yao went to Qinghe on Lan Xichen’s recommendation.

He’d never quite given up hope of finding his way even after his father’s rejection, and while Lan Xichen was kind and generous and everything Meng Yao had ever dared dream a cultivator could be, the older man was on the run, his sect burned, his family stolen – he was in no position to help him at the time.

Meng Yao had expected the leader of the Nie sect, who was reputed to be a righteous man, just and uncaring of status, to be much the same. Fiercer, of course; who had not heard about the tempestuous tempers of the Nie sect? But he’d expected something of that same ageless dignity, the way the two years that Lan Xichen had on him might as well have been a hundred years, that same feeling of distant awe as if looking up at a deity far above him –

He was not expecting Nie Mingjue.

Nie Mingjue, the youngest of the sect leaders of the Great Sects, who had prematurely inherited his sect after his father’s death and who’d run it with an iron fist ever since –

Nie Mingjue, who raised his younger brother like a father and lead his sect like a general –

Nie Mingjue, whose fighting skills were already renowned, whose people adored him, who stood against the world with no thought of anything but justice and revenge –

Nie Mingjue, who was a teenager.

“I’m almost twenty,” Nie Mingjue said with huff when he blurted it out, all his ideas about convincing the man to take pity on him – Lan Xichen had let slip that Nie Mingjue had a fondness for the underdog – going out the window at once. “And when I am, I will celebrate no one ever saying that again. Come on, get up; who forced you to stay out here? I’ll have words with them.”

More than mere words, he brought his saber up in Meng Yao’s defense, and it wasn’t long thereafter that Meng Yao secured his position as the man’s deputy.

“More like babysitter,” Nie Huaisang teased, and didn’t protest when his brother shoved him out of his chair without even looking up. “He never had one when he was younger, you understand – probably why he never learned how to take care of himself. He was only twelve when he took the position of sect leader, you know, and he hasn’t grown up one tiny bit since.”

“Huaisang! Shut up!”

Twelve, Meng Yao mouthed to himself. When he was twelve, he’d still been marking time at the brothel, doing odd jobs for a miniscule wage – he was barely entrusted with serving drinks. The only thing he’d been in charge of had been a few scrappy street kids that were awed by anyone who slept indoors; he couldn’t even imagine having to run a sect, much less as ancient and powerful a one as the Nie sect.

“You can ignore anything my brother says,” Nie Mingjue told him. His cheeks were darker than usual – was he blushing? “Consider than an official order.”

Meng Yao had had plans for what he’d do if he ever managed to get in closer to a sect leader. He’d thought it over in those years since the fiasco at Lanling, brimming as he was with resentment – it was all mapped out: how he would flatter them with respect and awe, how he would learn their weaknesses and cater to them, how he would make himself indispensable to them without ever allowing them to realize that he thought of himself as more than the dirt beneath their feet.

Such a plan, in the face of Nie Mingjue, was useless.

“You are going to go to sleep right now, Sect Leader” Meng Yao announced, dowsing the candles in the main office one by one.

“You can’t order me a- a-” Nie Mingjue’s complaint was interrupted by a yawn. “- around.”

“There’s no point in you staying up and wasting paper that you’ll only have to fix tomorrow, Sect Leader Nie,” Meng Yao said with a gentle smile, “when you can instead go to sleep, get a good rest, and actually write something coherent in the morning.”

“M’not tired.”

You’re a liar is what you are, Meng Yao thought, unable to keep the fondness out of the thought.

“Whatever you say, Sect Leader Nie,” he said in his sweetest tones, the ones that implied but did not say that he was indulging a small infant.

Nie Mingjue grumbled and glared, but he did put down the papers, which had in fact become totally incoherent splashes of ink as he desperately tried to fight back the tsunami of paperwork necessary for a sect leader to complete – Meng Yao had offered several times to find him more secretaries, and Nie Mingjue always refused; after interviewing the first few applicants behind his sect leader’s back, Meng Yao realized that was such a well-known path to corruption that even he’d been forced to give up on it.

He reached out and idly tugged on Meng Yao’s sleeve. “You have to help me with it tomorrow.”

“Don’t I help you with it every day?” Meng Yao replied, putting his hands on Nie Mingjue’s shoulders – for all that he was little more than a child to Meng Yao’s eyes, Nie Mingjue was tall, excessively so, and Meng Yao suspected he might possibly still be growing, somehow – to walk him over to the bed. “If you mean that I should do it and read out questions while you train your saber, the answer is no, Sect Leader Nie. You don’t focus enough on what you’re deciding when we do that.”

“But Meng Yao –”

“If you make me sit outside in the midsummer sun for a full shichen just because you’d rather be doing anything but read about Wen Ruohan’s latest atrocity, I may have no choice but to quit.”

Meng Yao had never expected to ever say such a thing to someone in a position above him. He’d never expected that it would work.

“Don’t quit,” Nie Mingjue said at once, allowing Meng Yao to pull his clothing off to prepare him for sleep. For all his height and power, Nie Mingjue had an earnest personality that was exactly like one of the street kids Meng Yao had bossed around all those years ago, and somehow he’d found himself falling into precisely the same patterns. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Your work, probably,” Meng Yao muttered under his breath but still unintentionally audible, wincing the second the too-sharp words passed through his lips, but as always when he slipped up Nie Mingjue looked delighted rather than scandalized.

“But I get so much more of it done when you’re around,” Nie Mingjue protested with a laugh, reaching up to start undoing his hair. With anyone else, Meng Yao would have thought it was an invitation to stay longer, to perform other services, but no matter how often Nie Mingjue’s eyes trailed after him or how stunned he looked on the rare instances Meng Yao had reason to wear formal robes, he would never ask and, if Meng Yao offered, invariably and firmly refuse. “Go to bed yourself, Meng Yao, and that’s an order. Don’t worry about me – I’ll be good.”

Meng Yao averted his eyes and smiled.

-

Meng Yao didn’t especially regret killing the Jin sect captain.

The man had been an ass, rude and overbearing and incompetent; he had stolen Meng Yao’s achievements for his own, not giving him any room to climb up through the ranks by his own merit the way he had in the Nie sect – not even citing his name in any of the reports, erasing everything he’d done from the record as if he was nothing, and when confronted, claimed it was because he was nothing, deserved nothing. He’d laughed at Meng Yao for daring to think that he could ever be worth anything, for forgetting who his mother was, what his mother was.

Meng Yao had never been inclined to forgive such slights – the opportunity had arisen, the two of them alone in the remnants of the battlefield, and he had taken it without a second thought.

He did not regret his death.

But he did regret the expression on Nie Mingjue’s face when he saw him do it, the confusion and devastation in his eyes. Meng Yao had turned at his shout to see him, and perhaps it was his youth that made Nie Mingjue unable to fully hide his feelings away from one who knew him well, or perhaps it was simply not in his character – Meng Yao had seen it all.

Meng Yao wished he’d turned around a little slower.

Maybe if he’d been slower, he would have only see the anger and not the hurt; the rage, the blame, and not the trust shattering, naivete broken as if Nie Mingjue were seeing death for the first time, as if he were not the blood-soaked Chifeng-zun with a thousand lives lost to his blade.

The guilt, as Nie Mingjue blamed himself for having sent Meng Yao here –

The worry, as he began to wonder what else Meng Yao was capable of doing, what he might have already done while at the Nie sect –

The shame, at not having realized what Meng Yao was like.

Meng Yao’s excuses came slowly to his mouth, his silver tongue failing him, and anyway Nie Mingjue couldn’t quite decide if he was shouting at him to explain or telling him to shut up – his excuses were only making it worse, and Meng Yao knew that, he knew Nie Mingjue didn’t understand how words could hurt or the importance of glory (except he did, he who was called a child, inexperienced, naïve, and because of that his thoughts were overruled and ignored unless he fought for them), he knew Nie Mingjue wouldn’t kill someone over his personal hurt (even he should have, Meng Yao had wanted a thousand times to silence those self-important elders of the Nie sect, those condescending little sect leaders), he knew that Nie Mingjue had only ever wanted to do the right thing just because it was right.

He knew that the world had disappointed Nie Mingjue time and time again, and this time it was his turn.

Meng Yao did not regret the Jin captain’s death.

But if he could do it again, he might have let him live.

It was something to think about during his time at the Nightless City, as atrocities flowed easily from his hand and he won yet another sect leader’s admiration and trust, for it was only ever his father that refused to even let him try. The Wen sect was more like what he’d imagine the Great Sects to be, full of back-biting and scheming and everyone out for their own gain, and those games he knew how to play.

“I want that bastard’s head,” Wen Ruohan raged.

You, want someone dead? What a surprise, Meng Yao thought but did not say. Nie Mingjue would have liked him to say it; Wen Ruohan would have him whipped or worse if he did.

“Whose head, Sect Leader Wen?” he asked politely. The number of people that Wen Ruohan wanted dead was as countless as the grains of sand on a beach. “You need only say the word, and I will see what can be done.”

Often, nothing. They were at war, after all.

“That overgrown infant, Nie Mingjue,” Wen Ruohan said with a sneer. “Arrogant little demon; he was always too clever by half, even back when he became sect leader at the age of ten –”

“Twelve,” Meng Yao automatically corrected, then winced; crossing Wen Ruohan was a good way to get into trouble from which there was no escape, and he knew better.

Luckily, for all his anger Wen Ruohan was in a good mood, and he only gave a bark of laughter. “I keep forgetting that you weren’t raised a cultivator,” he said, rolling his eyes. “The Nie sect habitually lie about their ages, some old superstition or some nonsense like that, and it’s usually revised up. Perhaps they think they need to get living sooner than everyone else, what with those qi deviations of theirs. Pity they takes so long to get to – I’d like to see him bleeding his life away.”

The thought of Nie Mingjue bleeding from the qiqiao, his eyes bloodshot his nose running his mouth choking on thick black blood, was not one that Meng Yao much liked.

He got to see it anyway.

It was his own plan that did the trick: he knew how much Nie Mingjue trusted Lan Xichen, who he saw as almost an older brother; he knew, in turn, that Lan Xichen trusted him. It was not difficult to lead Nie Mingjue into a trap from which he could not escape.

Meng Yao should have learned from Langya that he would not enjoy the sight of Nie Mingjue humbled and humiliated, Nie Mingjue on his knees, Nie Mingjue have been beaten black and blue, dripping with blood, and still not bending – anyone else, and he would have been pleased.

Anyone else, except perhaps Lan Xichen, who was untouchable.

Perhaps he would have enjoyed it if Nie Mingjue were just a bit older – usually revised up, he thought, and wondered if he’d been right about Nie Mingjue still growing – if he’d been settled in his own skin, confident and self-assured and righteous in a way Meng Yao knew he’d never be, if he was as high above him as Lan Xichen but less worthy, but he wasn’t and he didn’t: he only saw the way Nie Mingjue’s eyes were wide and hurt upon seeing him, even though he should have known better after Meng Yao’s earlier betrayal, should have expected something like this.

Children never understood why people hurt them. Meng Yao hadn’t, when it’d been him.

Knowing what he knew, Meng Yao did not expect forgiveness when he struck Wen Ruohan down before he could end Nie Mingjue’s life.

He did not receive it.

-

“I think we should become sworn brothers,” Lan Xichen said, and the proposal so perfectly suited Meng Yao’s ambitions in Lanling – Jin Guangyao’s ambitions – that for a moment he wondered how he had managed to manipulate Lan Xichen into doing it without having realized he was doing it. “The three of us.”

“Three of us?” Jin Guangyao asked, because surely he didn’t mean –

“You, me, and Nie Mingjue,” Lan Xichen clarified. He smiled, graceful as an immortal descended from the heavens. “I would be happy to see the two of you friends again, as it was before.”

It will never be as it was before, Jin Guangyao thought. Nie Mingjue had barely refrained from killing him, turning away only at Lan Xichen’s urging; he had returned to the battlefield and cleaned up the rest of the war, and not once in that entire time had he said a word to Jin Guangyao. No letter, which he’d expected, but not even in the few times since when they’d met in person.

Not even at the banquet when Jin Guangyao was recognized officially by his father, and took on a new name, a new title.

It was about what Jin Guangyao had expected. He’d learned long ago in the brothel that even the most foolish child would learn to shy away from you if you hit them enough – if he sometimes missed the feeling of being able to speak his mind freely, recalled Nie Mingjue’s badly hidden glee at having elicited a real reaction from his unflappable deputy, was wistful for the days of being in a sect where the Sect Leader listened to him and let him shine, well, that was on his own head.

Just one more thing he’d sacrificed, never to be recovered.

He didn’t say that. He only smiled and said, “You know I hold both you and Sect Leader Nie in the highest esteem; I would be honored. But as to whether Sect Leader Nie would agree…”

“He already has,” Lan Xichen said, and Jin Guangyao was truly shocked. “We can do the ceremony at the end of the week, if it suits you.”

“Of course,” Jin Guangyao said. He went to try to find Nie Mingjue himself, but the wall of hostility that surrounded the Nie sect, which he had found amusing when he was on the inside, now worked to repel him: the guards refused to let him pass, the new deputy aide told him that the sect leader was too busy to accept guests, the disciples refused to pass on letters, and even Nie Huaisang could not be found.

Even at dinner, Nie Mingjue did not meet his eyes once; it was as if nothing had changed.

Why would he agree? Jin Guangyao wondered. What did Lan Xichen tell him to make him agree?

In his heart, Lan Xichen was as untouchable as the moonlight, and yet for the first time Jin Guangyao felt the slightest hint of dissatisfaction – no, perhaps it was better said that it was Meng Yao who was dissatisfied, Meng Yao who had seen the fate of all those foolish children on the streets that were led into the abyss because they trusted too much. He knew himself to be the very same abyss: his words were as pretty and poisonous as any pimp’s, his motives as murky and foul, and Nie Mingjue had seen it.

Why agree?

When the ceremony was completed, they were congratulated and called the Venerated Triad, and in the evening they shared some wine – Lan Xichen’s idea, and a stupid one, since the next shichen was spent chasing their new da-ge around in an effort to convince him to stop climbing things or at minimum not to fall.

When at last it was late enough in the evening for the Lan sect’s strict discipline to kick in, and Lan Xichen safely stored away in his bed, Jin Guangyao gave a sigh of relief and turned to go.

A tug at his sleeve stopped him, and he turned to look at Nie Mingjue, who was frowning.

They were alone together, at last, and Jin Guangyao had a thousand questions and more, but he restrained himself and asked only, “What is it?”

He refrained from adding the ‘Sect Leader Nie’ that rose to his lips out of habit; he did not know if it was still appropriate.

“We’re sworn brothers now,” Nie Mingjue said, and Jin Guangyao could not read the expression in his eyes. “Given our ages, that makes you my older brother.”

“It does,” Jin Guangyao agreed.

“Since you’re my elder, that means I have to listen to you,” Nie Mingjue continued. “To be filial and obedient, as well as respectful.”

Jin Guangyao had not thought of it that way, but it was true: he was indeed the elder, and with their oath binding them, could expect such things to be due to him without having to concern himself with the differences in their rank.

“And in return you have to guide me and take care of me, to be concerned with my conduct and well-being; isn’t that right?”

Jin Guangyao nodded.

Nie Mingjue’s expression, which had been wary, firmed. “Good,” he said, and tugged on his sleeve again, an emphasis Jin Guangyao did not quite understand. “Mark your words. I entrust myself to you, er-ge; you can scold me as much as you like, but you have to model good behavior for me…”

He hesitated, then burst out: “No more killing, okay? No matter what, no killing anyone until you’ve learned to tell good from bad - if they anger you, you tell me and I’ll beat them up, but don’t you dare do it yourself! You hear me?”

Jin Guangyao’s eyes were as wide as saucers and a smile he had not had to force was on his lips. “You’re selling yourself and helping me count the money,” he told the foolish child, who scowled and glared at him. “I don’t deserve to hold something so valuable in my hands.”

Nie Mingjue huffed. “Maybe if you thought less about what you should deserve and more about your duty to what you already have, you’d have fewer problems,” he said tartly, Nie Huaisang’s da-ge shining through for a moment. “You’ve already sworn with me; it’s too late to take the deal back.”

No wonder he’d refused to speak to him before: Nie Mingjue had too many feelings and was too bad at hiding them – he would never be able to hide his intentions if they had had time to speak, and he had clearly been determined to lure him into this trap no matter what.

As if he thought Jin Guangyao would refuse.

“No more killing,” he promised, already aware that such a vow would be an impediment in his plans and not quite managing to care. The steel of Qinghe shone cleaner than all the gold in Lanling; he would not throw away a treasure a second time. “You have my word.”

“And you consult with us about your troubles,” Nie Mingjue added, seeing he’d won an inch and trying to get a mile. “You can be good, Meng Yao; you only forget sometimes, when there’s something you want more – you can trust Xichen-ge, at least, even if you don’t want to come to me, but don’t go alone anymore.”

“Because I can’t be trusted?”

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at him. “Because you’re ours,” he growled, a little tiger cub flashing its milk teeth, and he wasn’t talking about Lan Xichen. “You’re ours and we’re yours, and it’s about time you started acting like it!”

“All right,” Jin Guangyao said, feeling indulgent again. “Be good, A-Jue, or else I’ll think you think you’re the elder, not the younger.”

Nie Mingjue flushed red and ducked his head to hide it – it might have worked, too, if he wasn’t so tall or Jin Guangyao so short; he could see the embarrassment on his face at once.

A bit exaggerated a reaction to such mild scolding.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” Nie Mingjue’s voice stuttered a little, which Jin Guangyao hadn’t even known was possible – how delightful. “No one’s ever called me that, that’s all.”

Moved by an unspeakable impulse, Jin Guangyao reached up and touched Nie Mingjue’s head, and was delighted to find that his hair was as soft as he’d always suspected it would be.

“Well, you don’t have a choice but to bear it,” he said, happy without even a trace of resentment in his heart. “I’m the older brother, remember? You made the deal; you can’t back out of it now.”

Nie Mingjue smiled at him, his eyes curved up, and then abruptly the smile faded.

Jin Guangyao’s heart, always wary, recoiled at once: “What’s the matter? Do you regret…?”

“Oh, no, not at all! And anyway it’s not you! It’s…our da-ge is climbing out the window behind you.”

“Oh no!”

Learning to trust would take some time, but Jin Guangyao felt confident that he’d figure it out eventually.

He always did.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 286: VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “what’s the record for most consecutive bone breaks within the span of a single minute” and, without waiting for an answer, proceeded to unleash roughly 17 Smashes onto Tomura. Kacchan was all “THAT DOES IT, I’M TAKING THE REINS OF THIS SHITSHOW” and carried Endeavor and Shouto up to where the action was so Endeavor could hit Tomura with a Prominence Burn. AFO was all “Tomura would you rather burn to death or let me take over your body” and Tomura was all “...” and so AFO TOOK OVER and was all “STABBITY STABBITY” and used his Stabbing Quirk to do some Good Old Fashioned STABBIN’. First he stabbed Endeavor, and then he was all “hee and now I’m gonna stab Deku”, but Kacchan was all “SIR THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT RIVAL” and so he rushed on in AND GOT HIMSELF STABBED INSTEAD. And so basically THIS PAST WHOLE WEEK HAS BEEN A RIDE, LET ME TELL YOU.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “sup Deku lemme just downplay how I totally took this fatal blow for you just now” before he dramatically passes out and is caught by Todoroki “BTDUBS I CAN FLY NOW” Shouto, who is also carrying his dad because the kids really are just doing it all, here. AllForRaki Tomura For One is all “HAHA BAKUGOU IS PRETTY DUMB”, at which point Deku just LOSES IT ENTIRELY and ASCENDS INTO A NEW PLANE OF FURY LIKE A LITTLE GREEN RAGE BUDDHA. But then like two seconds later Tomura is all “ANYWAY, SO” and FUCKING TOUCHES DEKU’S FACE, CAUSING THE TWO OF THEM TO ASTROPROJECT INTO THE FREAKY OFA/AFO MINDSCAPE BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS BANANAS. Vestige!AFO is all “reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated but aren’t you glad I saved your life though, Tomura”, while Tomura is all “!!” because he’s hopefully starting to get A Clue, and meanwhile Deku just stands there watching all “what the fuck.” The chapter ends with SHIMURA MCFUCKING NANA showing up all, “HI, I HEARD SOME BITCHES WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC, AND THEY DIDN’T INVITE ME.” Go on, Nana. Give ‘em hell.

you guys. I’m not normally one to take pleasure in another human being’s misfortune. BUT THAT SAID, there are exceptions to every rule, and so let’s just say certain events have transpired early this morning which have PUT ME IN A VERY, LET’S JUST SAY, NOT-TERRIBLE MOOD which this chapter will hopefully improve upon!!

oh my god Deku’s one non-fucked-up eye that he still has control over is SO WIDE YOU GUYS

hmm I know I shouldn’t be all (゜▽゜) while the two of them are all (； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) ... and yet here we are. btw I’m worried tumblr’s formatting will ruin those two emojis which I worked so hard to get just right so I’m gonna repost them on another line here just in case

(； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) that’s them. Kacchan and Deku. my boys 

HERE COMES THE CHEESY “JUST GOT STABBED BETTER PLAY IT OFF ALL COOL!!!” ONE LINER OH MY GOD

(ETA: really love how my son, with what for all he knows could be his dying breaths, decides that the absolute most important thing is to preserve his selfish asshole facade so as not to fuck up his status quo with his rival. “LOOKEE HERE I GOT MYSELF ALL STABBED AND SHIT FOR YOU, BUT I TOTALLY JUST DID IT BECAUSE I WAS TIRED OF YOU GETTING ALL THE COOL HERO MOMENTS” yeah, that’s right! SELFLESS MOTIVATIONS, WHAT ARE THOSE sob.

also tbh I’m glad they didn’t delve any further into their feelings right here and now because this really isn’t the place or time for it sadly. WE WILL JUST PUT THOSE ON HOLD UNTIL AFTER THE ARC ENDS, when they are all recovering from their various wounds and traumas and have time to catch up and have some long-overdue heart-to-hearts. it deserves its own chapter or two or three. maybe time to head back to Ground Beta once they’re healthy? “healthy” perhaps being a relative term given their current condition fjsdjkf.)

by the way it looks from here like only the ones through his torso and shoulder actually hit, so that’s something at least. WE’VE LOST ENOUGH LEGS TODAY. I need to conserve my remaining puns

MEANWHILE TOMURA IS HAVING A CRISIS

ARE YOU MAD AT YOUR EVIL DAD TOMURA. HE JUST WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER WILL HE, THAT GUY

anyway so it looks like Kacchan might have caught a break here because AFO/Tomura is pulling the stabby quirk activation tendril things back out! rip, “Kacchan vs. Deku part 3″ theories

p.s. I got ALL CAUGHT UP IN THE DRAMA and thus glossed over the chapter title which is “one among us”! hmmm this is definitely AFO/OFA related, calling it now. ooh lord I am excited

NOW MY SON IS DRAMATICALLY FALLING

THE BLOOD FROM THE MOUTH OOF NOT GOOD AHHHH. DEKU’S FACE AHHHH. HIS BODY JUST WENT TOTALLY LIMP DID HE PASS OUT AHHHH. SOMEONE CATCH HIM!!

BY HIS FOOT, SHOUTO?!

well NOT EXACTLY THE MOST GRACEFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN, but we’ll allow it because HOLY SHIT BOY. ARE YOU ALREADY CARRYING YOUR DAD ON TOP OF THAT?? HORIKOSHI PLEASE CONFIRM, IS TODOROKI MOTHERFUCKING SHOUTO FUCKING FLYING AROUND UNBALANCED AF ON HIS ONE FLAMEY LEG, CARRYING HIS 500 LB POP AND NOW HIS FLOPPY PASSED OUT BEST FRIEND AS WELL?!? HOLY SHIT TODO?!?!

LADIES AND GENTLEFRIENDS OF THE VILLAIN STANDOM, FEAR NOT, TOMURA’S HAIR IS THE FIRST THING THAT GREW BACK LOL

even before his eyeballs kfldkakjk. which, btw, how does he even know what’s going on right now? “this fight has shed a lot of useless blood” sdkmkjl okay well (1) WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT, AGAIN??, (2) SERIOUSLY THOUGH, HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU STABBED?? ARE YOU EFFECTIVELY BLIND FOR THE NEXT FEW SECONDS HERE, WHAT’S GOING ON, and lastly (3) I seriously can’t tell if this is AFO or Tomura talking right now. or are they going back and forth?? help this is so confusing

HEY

THE DISRESPECT. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW KACCHAN ANGST IS NEVER USELESS!!

AND NOW HE’S BACK TO THE STABBING JFKJLKJLF I AM NOT TOO HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW MISTER

okay and now we’re cutting to some quick panels of the unconscious Aizawa, Gran, and Ryuukyuu, along with the “still conscious but in a very real sense might as well not be counted” Manual who is really having a day, that poor guy

anyway but then there’s also some dialogue boxes being all “if you act out of rage your power will respond accordingly, the most important part is to keep your head clear.” which I’m like 90% sure is Deku/OFA related, but honestly NOTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IS CLEAR SO FAR YOU GUYS. except for the Shouto-is-a-badass part anyway

HMM YEP I’M GONNA GO WITH DEKU-RELATED

it must be a callback to some line I’m forgetting. maybe Lariat explaining Blackwhip to him that one time. probably should have been in italics if it was a flashback quote, but hey. anyways the point is Deku is absolutely, 100% following this advice to the letter (/s)

(ETA: yep I’m almost positive this is the same quote from chapter 213. “listen, when you use this power out of anger, it’ll really start working for you. what really matters is controlling your heart.” which is still one of the weirdest pieces of advice in the entire series, but basically I think he was just trying to tell him it’s okay to get mad, so long as it’s calmly mad. like, controlled fury, as opposed to this white-hot berserker nonsense he’s been running on as of late. anyways I do still love me some shounen rage all the same but Lariat has a point.)

...

it took me a minute to realize THOSE WERE DEKU’S EYES. holy --

AND ANOTHER MINUTE TO REALIZE THAT DEKU FUCKING GRABBED THE ACTIVATION TENDRIL WITH HIS BUSTED UP OFA HANDS AND BIT INTO IT WITH HIS RABID OFA JAWS AND SNAPPED THAT SHIT LIKE A FUCKING KITKAT KLJLKSJDLKJFLK WOOOOOOOO I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT GODDAMN. POWER MOVE

(ETA: this is a two-page spread omg. I didn’t even realize at first. this scan ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT DO THIS BADASS PAGE ANY KIND OF JUSTICE but I can’t wait to see the real deal on Sunday holy shit.)

LMAO

DEKU RAGED SO HARD HE TURNED INTO AN ANGRY GHOST SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FKLSKG

(ETA: he actually looks a bit like the Vestiges/Kurogiri tbh.)

meanwhile Tomura basically has the exact same face I would have had in his position. yeah for real man. I don’t even know

p.s. WHEN will people learn to STOP INSULTING KACCHAN IN DEKU’S PRESENCE. WHEN, I ASK!!

WHAT IN THE CINNAMON TOAST FUCK

if this was a physical page I was holding I would have FLUNG THAT SHIT AWAY LIKE THERE WAS A SPIDER CRAWLING ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK

HOT DAMN. well uh. so that’s SUPER DISTURBING, what a lovely panel of Tomura’s melted face slowly growing back while his ears lag behind, and meanwhile that little scar that had been growing and growing and which at one point certain people (ME) thought might turn him into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERLY instead RIPS HIS FACE IN HALF to reveal the KINDER EGG AFO SURPRISE UNDERNEATH AHHHHH TAKE IT BACK

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T LET MAD SCIENTISTS PERFORM EXPERIMENTS ON YOU, KIDS. PSA. JUST SAY NO

-- NO!!!

HORIKOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck

oh my god. I almost would have rather cut away right after the Kacchan incident than freaking cut away NOW of all times, jesus. THAT’S JUST A BITCH MOVE, IS WHAT THAT IS. if we don’t cut back within the next three pages I SWEAR TO GOD

anyway so GUESS WHAT GIGANTOMACHIA’S DOING YOU GUYS. if you guessed “the exact same thing he was doing last time we saw him” then you are absolutely right, because it was actually PRETTY EASY TO GUESS

anyway but he says he detects “master’s scent”, except that there’s apparently two of them. interesting! one in Tartarus and one in Jakku, right? lol Horikoshi has burned me so many times already with his excruciatingly slow reveal of this that I’m not gonna hold my breath just yet, but I’ll get the hype train warmed up JUST IN CASE

okay so meanwhile in downtown Jakku, the heroes are handing off the civilians over to the police and rescue forces while they prepare to engage with “the villain”, by which I assume they mean Gigantomachia. does this mean Iida and Ochako are gonna fight Machia you guys omg

OOH!!!

“PLEASE INFORM THEM ON FOOT” well I know a certain SPEEDY BOI who would be PERFECT for that job oh my. make haste, Tenyar FastmLeggy

WAIT WHICH WAY ARE THEY HEADING

ARE THEY HEADING TOWARDS MACHIA OR TOWARDS DEKU AND AFO

so rather than answering my VERY PERTINENT question, Ochako is instead spending an entire page thinking about how their complete clusterfuck of a life keeps getting exponentially worse all the time! well but she’s not wrong though

NOW SHE’S ALL “GUYS...!” and, rather than explaining ANYTHING AT ALL, Horikoshi is again cutting back to THIS, OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: good thing Kacchan wasn’t awake to see his dramatic “I’ll just get myself impaled for Deku’s sake” plan result in this outcome ALL OF TWENTY SECONDS LATER smdh.)

I ACTUALLY PREFER MY DEKUS NON-CRUMBLED, THANKS. ALSO JUST ON A SIDE NOTE, POOR SHOUTO THOUGH. THE LAST NINETY SECONDS OR SO HAVE BEEN ENOUGH NIGHTMARE FUEL FOR A LIFETIME HAVEN’T THEY

so now he’s all “MIDORIYA!!!” because OF COURSE HE IS. his best friend just got impaled, and his dad too, and now he fully expects to see his other best friend crumble to dust right before his eyes holy shit. T R A U M A ™

-- !!!

somehow in the excitement of the moment I forgot his actual goal for a sec lol. meaning I instantaneously switched from HORRIFIED to GRINNING LIKE A MANIAC :D :D :D come on OFA time to show him what’s what

AND NOW WE’RE SWITCHING OVER TO EVERYONE’S FAVORITE TRIPPY DREAM LANDSCAPE FOR ADDITIONAL DRAMA, WELL OKAY

I’M ON BOARD WITH THIS, WHATEVER. also it’s becoming increasingly apparent that Deku is in fact nekkid underneath that mystical cloud bs, so let’s hope one of his remaining yet-to-be-unlocked quirks is a pants-conjuring quirk lulz

“this place...” yeah we all fucking know what this place is son, let’s get on with this. by my count we’ve only got four pages left so PLEASE BUDGET THEM WISELY

OH MY

holy shit. I have so many screaming thoughts about this lol but I just want to keep on reading lkjlkjlkjl okay I’ll come back later and edit them in, how’s that

OR MAYBE I’LL JUST RANT ABOUT THEM NOW GODDAMMIT

shit. okay let me just try and sum this up as quick as I can

so just in case it wasn’t already crystal clear, AFO’s soul being roommates with Tomura’s seems to be just about 100% confirmed now. good for you, All For One For All theory!! the “Kacchan loses his quirk” theory died so that you might live on in glory

AFO does seem to have almost fully taken control now. it looks like Tomura’s still fighting back, but AFO clearly has the upper hand now if their body language is any indication. Tomura on his knees with AFO calmly holding him down and ignoring his struggles... not looking too good for him at the moment

people seem to have somewhat lost sight of this in the midst of the great “heroes vs. villains Who Is Right Who Is Wrong What Are Morals” debate of 2020, but just a friendly reminder that AFO is in fact responsible for 100% of all of Tomura’s suffering from pretty much the moment he was born up till this very moment we’re now witnessing!! like, you can go ahead and blame Nana and Gran and The Complacent Apathy Of Hero Society and whatever the fuck else from here till Sunday, but All for One is the reason Kotarou was orphaned. All for One is almost certainly the reason why the seemingly quirkless Tenko suddenly just magically developed THE MOST FUCKED UP QUIRK OF ALL TIME at the worst possible moment. All for One is probably the reason why no one helped Traumatized Baby Tenko in the immediate aftermath (I can and likely will write a separate post about this in the near future). All for One is definitely the reason why no one helped Tenko at any point after that. All for One is the reason why Tenko grew up all fucked in the head (“HERE’S YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S HANDS, MERRY CHRISTMAS”), and the reason why he grew up blaming Heroes and Society rather than the sole person who was actually responsible who was literally standing right in front of him the entire time. and lastly, All for One is the reason why Tomura has now been manipulated into unknowingly sacrificing his own body and possibly even his mind. so THANKS A LOT FOR THAT. more like jerk for one amiright

basically what I’m trying to say is that Deku and Tomura are not actually enemies here, and they never have been. the two of them have a common enemy, and I’m convinced Tomura’s story is about him eventually coming to realize this. and this looks to be the first step towards that, for two reasons. one, because AFO is finally starting to out himself to Tomura as the rat bastard he has always been. and two, because Deku is catching a glimpse of this now for the very first time. up until now he didn’t have a damn clue lol. but this is now something for him to file away in the back of his mind, and perhaps follow up on at a later date, once all of this craziness finally subsides and he has some time to process

anyway, so that’s basically it! tl;dr AFO is the final villain and unless I’m very much mistaken, this scene is going to finally start to set that up. let’s read on!

OMG

NANA?!?

lKDSJFLKSHGLISHDOGIHOLRKL

NOOOOOO I can’t believe it fucking ended there I can’t fucking believe it, fuck everything

smdh. what a place to end it. didn’t confirm a damn thing. not even whose mental landscape all of this is actually taking place in! like, don’t mind me though Horikoshi, it’s not like THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGES ON THIS QUESTION OR ANYTHING except oh wait it really kind of does. kljkj

but seriously. because if it’s Deku’s mind, it means that Tomura’s attempt to take his quirk wasn’t successful. but if it’s Tomura’s mind, though... well... hhhhhhkhfff

or it could be both, I guess. more of that “AFO and OFA are the same quirk and thus linked” goodness. oh man. anyways stay tuned for next week when Nana presumably helps Deku out with the rest of that black fog and also hopefully finds him some pants. or maybe Nana can just go fight AFO herself. a little payback for everything he’s done to her protege and to her grandson. either way I CAN’T WAIT omg. VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO

[ayoalex]

I didn't expect for me to do a rant about bumbleby but I've been rewatching RWBY while me and my friend wait till February for the next chapter and holy shit, there's a lot to talk about.

Maybe it's because the first time I watched RWBY was all together without needing to wait like all the fandom but I'm pretty sure bumbleby was either a thought, a path they had as one option or being something it was going to happen no matter what since they started writing RWBY.

All the hints, subtext, etc were there, since the first moment Yang and Blake meet.

We all know RWBY doesn't have all the time neither the budget to make a 30min or 1h long for every chapter, so all the faces, the details, body movements are there for a reason and not to waste time and money.

Yang sees Blake and it's immediately interested, Ruby tells her she knows her and what Yang do? Uses Ruby as an excuse to go closer to Blake and talk to her + this will help Ruby to come out of her shell.

Now, before I continue I want to say that I personally head canon Yang as a lesbian because I relate to her as one but it's perfectly fine if y'all head canon her as bi or pan, what we all know it's that the girl is NOT straight.

Let's continue, Yang try to start a conversation and Blake was not vibing with it until Ruby started talking about books. It's quite a funny moment for me because Yang is so used to people wanted to be with her or wanted to flirt with her that she gets awkward and her confidence start going low the moment she is the one actively going for it and not the other way around.

Yang is quite an interesting character because at first it looks like she's a flirt and knows clubs and illegal stuffs, she's really cool, confident and really attractive. But then as the series progress we see how damage she is, such a low self-esteem she has in certain stuffs, how she's really smart, she doesn't actually flirt and when it's someone she likes she gets all awkward and stuff.

Then you have Blake, we see since the beginning the strong sense of justice she has, how passionate about it she is, she's lowkey most of the times, serious but then we see all her issues, her low self-esteem, how scared she is and how humorous she is as well, assertive and direct. If Yang is not there then the person making the jokes is Blake and I find that really cool.

I mention this because the Blake we see in Emerald Forest is assertive Blake.

Yang gets into the forest and start looking for Ruby while Blake seems to have been following her since they landed in there. She's in the shadows keeping an eye close to Yang, she sees her fighting the Ursas and took advantage of that to help her and appear in front of her. Purposely smirking while looking her directly at her eyes.

Now, why would Blake choose Yang? Why not Phyrra? Or Ruby? Well, because Blake is attracted to strength. It's the same thing that attracted her to Adam, she sees the similarities but there are so many differences as well.

As they continue their journey to find the relic Blake seems to enjoy Yang company, smiling and smirking at her. We basically see a different Blake than we saw when Ruby and Weiss were around, this is more direct, assertive and flirty.

At this point Blake is attracted to Yang, smiling at her jokes, smirking, going all sassy, the way she walks or behaves around Yang.

The best part? She loves it.

My favorite part of bumbleby between v1 and v3 is absolutely when Yang tells her "I love it when you are feisty" and Blake smirks and it's loving it.

Blake loves when Yang gives her attention. It always been there, I'm so sorry y'all can't see it.

But between v1 and v3, while she absolutely loves being around Yang, she's still feels the weight of her past, which makes her still closed and not as free as she would like.

Before I talk about v4 and 5 and the end of v3 I want to talk about Sun.

He's important for Blake's growth and I feel a lot of people don't like that but this is what the media does every single time with women, they present them in the narrative only to make the main dude to growth so, it's actually nice seeing it the other way around + Sun does get a bit of growth and he has some plot in the books I think (I still need to read those but I can't find them 😭).

Since the moment Sun sees Blake he's attracted to her, understandable, she's hot. He tries to catch her attention by helping her, etc.

Blake does not shares the same sentiment until like v3 or something, in some funny way Yang is the one that pushed her to Sun by making her go to the dance and spent time with Sun.

But Blake goes to the dance because of Yang and she specifically tells Sun, in a really smug way btw, how her first dance is reserved for someone else. In the dance she constantly smiles to Yang and then we see her having an amazing time with Sun and Neptune which helps her to relax and making new friends!

At this point Blake seems to be attracted to both Yang and Sun or at least she's a bit attracted to Sun in a sexual way and not romantic wise. Blake loves the attention them both give her, is not in bitchy or selfish way(?) It makes her confident and tbh that's such a human like reaction, knowing that really attractive and amazing people are attracted to you? Please, I would be worst than Blake.

Then we have the end of v3, where Adam appears and everything goes to shit.

It's interesting how they decided to animate and write Blake, Sun and Yang in the Fall of Beacon.

Blake is constantly worried about Yang, specially after what happened, Yang calls Blake and wants to be sure she and Ruby are ok.

Later Blake goes after a Grimm and Sun and Yang are finally in the last place Blake was before disappearing.

Instead of Sun going after Blake it was Yang, he just stays there, behind Weiss.

Is in this volume that we find out that Adam wasn't Blake mentor, they were together in a romantic sense (which is disgusting because it means Adam not only abused her but groomed her). Adam tells her he's going to destroy everything she loves and in that exact moment Yang comes into scene yelling for Blake and poor Blake is mortified and Adam sees this which for him means that the blonde girl is someone that Blake loves.

The freaking meaning of all this is AMAZING, the narrative presents Yang as someone that Blake loves.

When Yang lose her arm it's when Blake gets out of her black state to protect Yang, she could have died but she didn't cared because she needed Yang to be alive, that's her partner and someone who she has confused feelings about.

Because that's the thing, yes Blake knows she's attracted to her but what does that mean? Adam is still around and she knows Yang is vulnerable and can't take much emotional damage.

So Blake leave because at least without her around Yang can still be alive because Adam is looking for her not Yang.

Here's something important, bumbleby of v1 to v3 is something fun, is a teenager thing but then bumbleby of v4 till now is more important, is deeper and goes beyond a crush.

Sun stalks Blake which was pretty bad specially cuz Blake was paranoid about Adam which makes her react violently (she slaps him which is bad as well).

Blake character development in v4 and v5 is really important, not only Sun helps her a lot but spending time with her parents help her heal some stuffs.

But it's in v5 that everyone should have got the confirmation needed for black sun.

There's a moment when they are talking about Adam and Blake tells Sun that she's thankful that he helped her and that's what she wants to do, she wants to be that friend to help Illia, the same thing Sun did for her.

This implies so much and the most important one is that for Blake, Sun is a friend, a very dear one btw, and that she wants to be a friend to Illia as well, she wants to be that safety net that Sun and her parents were for her but with Illia. This is so powerful because Sun is more than ok with that, he only wanted to help Blake and if she ended up falling for him? Cool, and if not, cool as well.

Sun already knew this, since the beginning.

In the end of V3 he saw it and came to terms with it.

You know who were looking out for Blake and Yang when Yang was unconscious and Blake was taking her hand while crying and apologizing? Ren and Nora, who were both tired. And in front of them was Sun, looking at them like "oh", like he understood that Blake eyes we're always on Yang and not on him.

That's why in all the conversations of blacksun in v4 and v5 Sun always brings up Yang and how she may feel because he knows that's the person for Blake, not him.

Because if not, tell me why no romantic business happened? It was perfect to expand their relationship! But they didn't.

Later he was the one pushing Blake to go with her team, he knows, Sun knows how important is for Blake to be with her team and to be with Yang. At the end of the day, the person Blake felt safe with after Adam was Yang.

Now, v6.

Listen, Ruby and Weiss don't get why Yang can't seem to forgive Blake but... Blake does, back in Beacon Yang had an heart to heart with her about her family, Blake knew about what leaving would be for Yang and that's why she so angst about Yang in v4 and v5.

So she tries her hardest, and while I agree that there's some parts that should be written better and they need to TALK about it... V6 was good for them.

The Apathy mini arc was amazing but it was the end of V6 that settle bumbleby to be canon.

Blake finally understanding that they need to be equals in their relationship, them both going against Adam, Adam rage to see how much they love and respect each other, the final blow, Blake break down...

But the most important of all was the beginning of the second part of Blake and Adam fight, because Yang listen everything that Adam said to Blake and it clicked for her.

Blake didn't left because she wanted, she left because she loves them. And the moment Yang hug her, comfort her and reassure her they are fine it's the moment she forgives Blake and a new stage in their relationship starts which lead us to v7.

V7 bumbleby is v1/v3 bumbleby but mature. They talk more (as we see with the scene about Robyn), they want to be more close and close to each other, etc.

Assertive Blake is back! She keeps flirting with Yang, keeps making Yang to compliment her, to pay attention to her, she giggles at Yang's jokes, she goes to a club!! Blake doesn't usually goes to clubs!

In V2 we see Blake can dance but in V7 she doesn't seem to find the rhythm... Ohhh the classic "please help" You give to your crush to make them get closer to you so you can flirt with them and maybe make a move. And Yang? She goes with the flow, because is what Blake wants and Yang wants Blake to lead because Adam is still fresh.

That's why she gets worried about what Blake thinks of her in V8, what they have is new, they are aware of the attraction and the feelings but haven't done anything about it.

I love making it seem they are clueless but they aren't, they are smart and observant young women, Blake knows Yang find her attractive, she encourages Yang to watch her, to flirt, to get closer.

There's a scene in V7 when Yang is watching Blake through the mirror and Blake purposely gets flirty when putting her make up on.

They know they are dancing around each other.

It's so great seeing an wlw couple being like this, I love it. Bumbleby is a slow burn and it's a really cute and adorable one, it's a shame people hate it or claim is queerbaiting.

Yeah, maybe there's some stuffs that could be written better but overall? Bumbleby has been here since the beginning and the development is beautiful to see.

Highly recommend to rewatch RWBY with all this subtext in mind so you will find Bumbleby since day one lol.

Btw, ship whatever you want guys, blacksun is a cute ship, just stop being dicks to the VAs and the writers of the show for something that's your fault, like... Literally, your fault, all the signs were there.

And sorry for making this so long and all over the place, I hope you enjoy this rant tho lol

[yellowocaballero]

Hunt!Tim: Five Times He Murdered Someone And One Time He Loved them <3

Just kidding. This is a fic set in my Roleswap AU, acting as a character study over the course of the series into...whatever the fuck was going on with that guy. I spent so much time and energy actually figuring out his arc and character that when I finished Solitaire I hadn’t said everything I wanted to say, so that’s why this exists. It’s...not funny at all. Tim takes himself far too seriously. I’m very sorry, there are almost no jokes in this. It just doesn’t work. 

Content warning for story typical issues; but more explicit depiction of suicidal ideation, kidnapping and physical assault, just in general a very fucked up little dude, and gendered violence that is more explicitly discussed as a possible precursor to further violence. Rest under the cut.  

“I’m going to fucking kill them!”

“Well,” Sasha said, tapping away relentlessly on her phone as she sat primly on his couch. During work hours she was always doing something mysterious on her laptop, and after work it was on her phone. She had once alluded to being the moderator of an improbable number of forums. She liked the power. “We could probably make that happen. It’s the Magnus Institute, it’s suspicious if nobody's dying. But four people at once may not be prudent.”

“I don’t care!” Tim yelled. He paced his living room in tight lines, turning sharply on his heel at the end of the room. It felt like he was bursting with pent-up energy and rage, sending his heartbeat thumping in his ears like a war drum. “They’re obstructing justice, withholding evidence from an investigation, probably acting as an accomplice -”

i

“I’m going to fucking kill them!”

“Well,” Sasha said, tapping away relentlessly on her phone as she sat primly on his couch. During work hours she was always doing something mysterious on her laptop, and after work it was on her phone. She had once alluded to being the moderator of an improbable number of forums. She liked the power. “We could probably make that happen. It’s the Magnus Institute, it’s suspicious if nobody's dying. But four people at once may not be prudent.”

“I don’t care!” Tim yelled. He paced his living room in tight lines, turning sharply on his heel at the end of the room. It felt like he was bursting with pent-up energy and rage, sending his heartbeat thumping in his ears like a war drum. “They’re obstructing justice, withholding evidence from an investigation, probably acting as an accomplice -”

Sasha’s head snapped up, eyes glinting at him behind the big glasses that she always hid behind. “So you do think they were involved in Gertrude’s death?”

“Who cares. They did something, they’re obviously guilty of whatever. Every one of them have rap sheets.” Everyone but that blonde woman, which seemed a little counter-intuitive. “We just have to find something.”

Sasha hesitated, just momentarily, and she carefully put her phone down. “You’re angry, Tim. It’s affecting your judgement. Remember when we talked about that? Deep breaths. Come on, in one and out two. ”

Tim grimaced, but Sasha was right. He stopped pacing, and at Sasha’s encouraging look he resentfully took a few deep breaths. It did make him feel better. His heart wasn’t thumping in his ears anymore. She was so good at calming him down. She was just so wonderful in every way.

Thinking about how great Sasha was effective in clearing his head, but it just highlighted how terrible those women were in comparison. No respect. It was disgusting. 

“Thanks,” Tim said gruffly, eliciting a beautiful smile. He collapsed on the couch next to her, disgusted and frustrated. “We’re never going to solve this Robinson case so long as those women are in the way. I won’t tolerate any obstacles in getting justice.”

“I know, and that’s what’s brave about you,” Sasha soothed, clasping his shoulder gently. Her thumb worked into his shoulder, gentle and soothing. “But we have to do it quietly. We don’t just need them out of the way, we need information. I’ll work on the technological side. You can dig up an entire life online, trust me. But if they know any of the secrets about the Institute and the Archives, we have to press them. That’s your strength, Tim. You can get anything out of anyone, because you never give up.”

Tim turned his head and smiled weakly at her. “And your strength is that you’re always there for me.” Her eyebrow ticked, but Tim hardly noticed. “I’ll keep pressing. They can’t stonewall me forever. I have their boss’ address, I’ll just show up there.”

“He’s going to ask for a warrant -”

“Oh, who gives a shit, nobody cares.” Tim snorted.  “He’s a pussy if he’s hiding behind those women, anyway.” At Sasha’s carefully arched eyebrow, Tim quickly added, “Coward, I meant coward.” 

“So you do remember our conversation about being PC,” Sasha said, making Tim snort. Please. Those sensitivity training the department was always forcing on them was a joke. Tim laughed with the other guys about it afterwards. He didn’t know why Sasha was complaining; she laughed just as mockingly as the rest of them. But she just readjusted her glasses now, a sign she was a little nervous. “Tim, about what you said just before we left -”

“What about it?” Tim said sharply.

Sasha was silent for a minute, before adjusting her glasses again. “Nothing. Just - be careful, okay? People who get too close to the Magnus Institute end up dead.”

If only they would. But Tim grinned at her, bright and sharp, and Sasha hesitantly smiled back too. Tim’s conviction, his bravery, always seemed to make her feel better. Sasha thought too much. She rarely second guessed herself - that was why Tim liked her - but sometimes she just thought herself into twists. She needed someone like him to cut that Gordian Knot. “Don’t worry, Sash. The good guys always prevail.”

Tim would kill them. All he needed was a reason. 

ii. 

Tim had nightmares, now. 

Not full ones. Strange, fragmented dreams that were quickly forgotten after he woke up. Most of the time. But not always. And they were so strangely vivid - as if he was really living that moment over and over again.

It was of that construction site. And of Danny, watching those murders and the corpses with a sick, fascinated smile. And of Tim, defenseless and powerless and trembling and weak, watching it all happen. 

Sometimes there would be a man. Just once or twice. The man, who would always be wearing really stupid pyjamas that contrasted wildly with how attractive he was, would frown at Tim. 

‘Hey’, Sims said, ‘aren’t you that prick?’. 

And Tim would wake up, heart beating fast, thumping in his ears, afraid in exactly that same poisonous metallic way that he hadn’t felt since he was a child. 

Tim was going to kill that monster. 

****

On a Monday afternoon, Tim sat in the driver’s seat of his car, checking his gun. 

Gun, check. Rope, check. Shovel, check. Lighter and gasoline, check. Axe with belt, check, just in case things went really south. Gag, check. Tim had no idea how many secret powers that thing had, he wasn’t taking any chances. 

Monday was the only night that they all went home alone. It took two frustrating weeks of stake-outs to realize that. Since he had cornered that bitch Melanie she even walked home with Daisy, who apparently lived close by. It was worth it, though. She was finally feeding him useful information, even though Tim knew that she thought she was giving irrelevant information about what they really wanted. He gave most of it straight to Sasha, who was salivating over all of the puzzle pieces Melanie was casually dumping on them as if they were meaningless. Whatever. That was Sasha’s job. 

She had been worried about him lately. Probably. Tim hadn’t really noticed. He was focused on the case. Tim was a perfectionist like that. 

Finally, at 5:20, Tim saw the monster - Jon, whatever, he wasn’t scared of him - round the corner. He was a little hard to distinguish in the darkness, but that was why Tim had left the headlights on.

His heart was thumping, roaring in his ears. Tim was giddy with excitement and anticipation and thirst. Catching them wasn’t the best part, but this would feel so good. He had been vividly imagining the look of fear on the thing’s face for the past month, ever since he assaulted Tim. He just couldn’t decide how he wanted to kill him - he brought his nightstick just in case he wanted to bash his face in, but fire was practical and incredibly painful. 

Showtime, Tim thought, as he opened his car door and stepped out. After Tim took care of this, he and Sasha would be safe. That was the important thing. He was protecting Sasha from that thing. That was why he did it, all of it. 

Jon startled a little when he saw him, but his face was backlit from the headlights and his features were probably obscured. It wasn’t until Tim stepped forward, easily and casually, that Jon began the slight speedwalk of a pedestrian encountering a persistent panhandler on the street. 

“Stop right there.”

Jon froze. Not as stupid as he looks, then. Still pretty stupid. 

Tim walked forward until he was standing at Jon’s back, already silently drawing out his handcuffs with one hand. 

“Detective Stoker,” Jon said, and Tim almost respected the way his voice didn’t shake. “I wish this was more of a surprise.”

Normally Tim appreciated a good intimidating monologue, but he could be more efficient right now. Besides, there was time for that later. Jon turned his head backwards slightly, trying to see his face - perfect - and Tim waited until he could see his expression before he jammed the barrel of his gun on Jon’s throat.

There it was. The expression that few people besides Tim had ever seen, that secret face of man that each person felt so few times in their lives if they felt it at all. The face of a man who knew he was about to die. 

It was Tim’s little secret. 

“Why -”

Tim bashed it over the head with the barrel of the gun, and it dropped on the gun like a lanky puppet with its strings cut. No use letting it finish a question. 

Handcuffs, rope, trunk. Carefully just under the speed limit, barrelling out of London into the cold and emotionless woods. Turning on the stereo - some mindless Amy Winehouse song. Tim found himself whistling along with it, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. 

It wasn’t that Tim liked killing people, or even things that looked and begged and cried like people. But it was just something you had to do. Tim shouldered that burden, so innocent people wouldn’t have to. As a police officer, he had sworn to be the wolf that protects the sheep. That was Tim - that loyal and heroic wolf. 

The thrill was overwhelming. That was why people had sex in public - that excited thrill over possibly getting caught. Not that he would, and even if he did Tim basically had carte blanche to handle his cases how he wanted, but he could. His skin was prickling, his heartbeat thumping in his ears. Saliva was pooling in his mouth, which he wiped off with one hand. Adrenaline did weird things. When he looked at the rear mirror inside the car to check on Jo - the monster, he saw the light of the headlights glinting strangely against his eyes, but in another second it was gone. 

Tim didn’t have a ‘spot’ because that was fucking idiotic, but all of his dumping places had basically the same characteristics. You had to drive a while to get something really private. It took an hour, but they got to Chiltern hills eventually, and Tim was forced to squint at Google Maps to find the GPS coordinates he had planned out. It felt a little ridiculous to use Google Maps to find a burial spot for somebody but - well, life was weird. 

When he stopped, he carefully took out the gag, the axe, the shovel, his own hunting knife, and dumped them in the spot he had picked out. He held the gag and holstered the hunting knife before carefully popping open the trunk.

Jo - the monster was awake. Which was fortunate; there was no fight when they were unconscious. He stared up at Tim with big brown eyes, all innocent and pleading, and Tim rolled his eyes before bending down to securely jam the gag in his mouth before grabbing him by his tied hands and dragging him out. The thing made a bunch of sad noises, and from the sounds of it he had wrenched a shoulder, but that wouldn’t be an issue in a few minutes. 

The thing’s legs had clearly fallen asleep, and he stumbled onto the ground the minute Tim let go of him. He kept his eyes on Tim almost frantically, as if he could brainwash him by his eyes alone - could he? Could he? His eyes were fucking freaky.

Jesus. What if he could. Fuck, Tim barely knew anything about his freaky powers. But if he could brainwash via eye contact, couldn’t he - 

No. Tim shook himself. That was the fear talking. Which shouldn’t exist. The fear should be gone. He had the thing bound and gagged at his feet, terrified out of its life, he couldn’t possibly still be scared of it. Fucking stupid. He was just cautious. That was caution. Tim was a cautious person. 

Time for his favorite part, then.

Tim grinned lazily down at the thing, letting his white teeth flash in the lit headlights of the car. He hadn’t been able to sleep last night, writing all of this out in his mind. “Not so great on the other side, huh?”

The monster’s eyes widened. 

Tim dragged him away from the car, not bothering to be gentle. He kicked and pushed on the ground, and although he was bony as hell the guy was tall and desperate, and Tim was forced to kick him down on the ground and draw his gun. He hadn’t wanted to draw the gun - they never fought and kicked and snarled and bit with the gun - but he wasn’t taking any chances here. 

“I want you to know,” Tim said, friendly and warm, “that I’m doing this because I made a promise. On my badge and on my life, I protect the innocent from predators. I defend society from threats. There’s a corruption in the world, a sick and rotting infection, and it’s my job to tear it out. But I get no joy from this, okay?” He didn’t know why it was important that the monster knew that. It wasn’t like he was going to hold a grudge. The monster tried to sit up, but Tim kicked him again until he hit the ground again. Tim hated how he was shorter than him when they both were standing. He wanted to look down on him for once. 

The monster was always looking down on him. With his little girl gang and his bestest buddies. With that - that moral superiority. He thought he was so smart and popular. Just because he could rip someone’s deepest secrets out of someone, he thought he was better. Just because he knew Tim’s worst fear, he thought that he had power over Tim.

Nobody did. Nobody had power over Tim. Not anymore. 

“But you,” Tim hissed, “you, out of everyone I’ve ever killed - I’m going to enjoy you. You’ve crept into the lives of all those humans. You even got fucking Sasha telling me you’re not all bad. Is that what you do? Convince everybody around you that you’re a good person, when you’re a piece of shit inside?” His hand was trembling on his gun - that wasn’t in the script. Why was that happening? “Well, guess what. No matter how great you think you are, you will always be a monster.”

The handle of Tim’s gun was coated in sweat, making his trembling hand slide. Why? The gasoline and lighter were standing by his feet, ready to burn the body. His heart was thumping in his chest, not from anticipation and thrill - why? Why? Why?

“Tim, no!”

Tim, so focused on what he was doing, jerked so hard he almost fired the gun. He whipped around to the source of the voice, and found to his shock a familiar car and a familiar woman standing by it, face set in a fierce determination. 

It was Sasha. Somehow, the sight of her was deeply wrong to Tim. She shouldn’t be here. Sasha should never see this. She knew, she had helped - always the finger pointing in the direction to unleash Tim - but she shouldn’t see it. He knew it wasn’t real to her, what he did. 

“Sash,” Tim said weakly, hand drooping. 

Jon screamed from behind his gag. He might have been calling for help.

“Put the gun down,” Sasha said coldly. She was just dressed in jeans and a messy t-shirt, as if she had come here in a great hurry. How had she kno - okay, Sasha knew everything, it was no surprise. 

“Why? Sasha, what are you doing here?” Tim cried, in genuine confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is that Jon is innocent of everything!” Sasha yelled, and Tim almost flinched back. “He didn’t kill Gertrude, he doesn’t know anything about what’s going on! Trust me, Jon and his team have nothing to do with any of this!”

“He’s a fucking demon, Sash,” Tim said incredulously. How could she take his side? How? “Don’t you remember what he did to me? How can you forgive that?”

“You’re not a saint either!” Sasha screamed - the first time Tim had ever heard her scream at him. He couldn’t believe this was happening. How had he lost control of the situation so badly? “If you kill him you will break his team.”

As if a single coworker nobody dying will upset anybody. “And how long until he attacks or kills his team?” Tim asked furiously. “They’re the biggest bitches I’ve ever met, but they’re human. Monsters hurt humans, Sasha. It’s in their nature. How long until he hurts someone else? How long until he hurts you?”

“If you kill him,” Sasha said, quiet and strangled and hurt, “I will never forgive you.”

Nobody had power over him - nobody, perhaps, save Sasha. She held his heart in his hands, ready at a moment’s cue to crush it or rip it out of him. He couldn’t bear her disapproving face, her quiet disappointment. If she didn’t love him, if she took that away - he wouldn’t have anything. Nothing would be left. He had to protect that love, protect her. 

“Sasha,” Tim said weakly, “out of everybody, I thought you would understand.”

“I do. I’m the only one who will ever understand. That’s why you have to trust me.”

Maye that was the problem. Tim did. She was the only person he had ever trusted.

Tim flicked the safety, and dropped the gun. 

 Just to make himself feel better, he bent his leg back to kick Jon, but - but, for some reason, he didn’t. It just seemed so tiresome. What was the point? What was the point of any of this?

The point had always been to protect humans from the monsters. To protect Sasha. But Sasha didn’t want his help. What did he have now?

“Take him back to his house,” Tim said dully. He glared fiercely at Jon, whose face was falling in relief. “If you tell the police about this, nobody will believe you and nobody will care. If you tell anybody else about this, I’ll find you again and beat you half to death. Got it?”

Jon nodded fervently. 

After that, it was all a blur. Sasha helped him up, took him to her car, and he saw her cut through his restraints once he was safely inside. Tim just gathered up his materials and dumped them in the trunk of his car, sliding into the driver’s seat and gunning the engine. 

He drove home in a depressed haze, feeling worthless, feeling powerless, feeling exactly like Jon always made him feel. 

His hands clenched on the steering wheel. If Jon didn’t know shit about what was going on - and Tim believed that, guy was fucking stupid - then who did? If Jon hadn’t turned into a monster on purpose, then who had turned him into a monster?

Elias Bouchard always gave Tim a bad feeling.

He’d collect some evidence. Give it a few weeks, then confront him. Bouchard would bend and crack. Then Tim would be free. Free of the Magnus Institute, free of how it made him feel. 

He roared towards home, unsatisfied and angry, still afraid. 

iii.

“Can you pass the rice?”

Tim silently passed Mom the bowl, staring intently at his own plate and silently shovelling potatoes in his mouth. Dad was doing his usual thing and just kind of squinting at his plate and chewing like a cow with cud. Danny was, from the outside, eating food like a normal person. Tim knew that he was vibrating with anticipation. 

“So,” Mom continued, faux-brightly, “it’s been a while since you boys came home. Too good for your old folks, huh?”

The passive aggressive route - deal with the criticism, but if you bit back then it was ‘just a joke’. Favored tactic of Ha-eun Stoker. 

“Sorry, Mom,” Danny said, one arm thrown over the back of his chair, utterly unrepentant, “work’s been hell lately. Big case came in, and if I want to be promoted to junior partner…”

Sure enough, Mom brightened right up. “Really! Tell us all about your case, Danny!”

Then they were off. Tim zoned out, blankly spooning gamja jorim into his mouth as Danny endlessly rattled off about his accomplishments and Mom cooed and aah’d relentlessly. Dad just chewed, occasionally grunting in satisfaction and approval. 

Wow, the coveted paternal approval. Way to make them all jump through hoops for it. Tim rolled his eyes.

Unfortunately, he was caught. Mom turned her piercing gaze on him, smiling pleasantly with perfect teeth. Of course they were perfect; she had work done. All of the other women in the neighborhood do it, Tim, we should fit in. Oh, this necklace is just so in style, I saw Ms. Wallace down the street wearing it. Fucking lemming. 

“What about you, Tim?” Mom asked. “How’s work going? Normally you’d be telling us all about your big arrests.”

Ah. The reason why Tim had done everything possible to avoid family dinner. They had this once a month, the only time they could all be assed to talk to each other, and Tim had jumped through hoops to try and escape. 

Danny didn’t let him. This was way too entertaining to him. 

He knew. Tim didn’t know how, but that was irrelevant. Danny always knew. He couldn’t lie and make up some case. Tim took a careful sip of his dak gomtang, stalling. 

Finally, he said, “I took a new job, actually.”

Dad looked up from his plate. Mom’s jaw dropped. 

“But you loved your job,” Mom said, for all appearances broken-hearted. “What happened?”

Danny leaned back in his chair, hands folded behind his head, grinning. “Yeah, brother. You loved that job, you’d never quit. What happened?”

“My work partner was caught and forced to sign an employment contract by a middle management stoner, blackmailing me into working with her so I wouldn’t get arrested by the police for my dozen murders.”

Everybody stared at him. Tim sipped some water. 

“That isn’t very funny, Timothy,” Mom said. 

God, these people were so serious. In the stupidest second of his entire stupid life, he missed the Archive team just a little bit. At least they had a sense of humor. He’d never known those bitches to take anything seriously. But even when they were literally engaging in cult-level shunning of him and Sasha, they were always together. What was with homos and that gay found family shit? 

“Kidding. I don’t know, Mom, I was just going stir-crazy. Being a copper just felt like such a dead-end job.”

“But you said you were on track for Lieutenant,” Mom gasped. “How could you throw that away?” 

“I don’t know, Mom,” Danny said, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “I don’t think Tim would quit his job voluntarily.”

Mom’s jaw dropped. “You were fired?”

Tim was too dead inside for this. “Sure. I’m a librarian now. It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter?” Mom positively screeched. “What am I supposed to tell Mrs. Walker now? That my son’s not on track to Lieutenant, that he was fired? I’ve never been so ashamed of you. You’re going to make me a laughingstock, Tim. In all my life, you’ve never once cared about how your actions affected me. Let me tell you right now that this is disgraceful. You’re a grown man, and you’re still acting like a child who blah blah blah. Tim’s a disappointment and we hate him blah blah. How could I have raised such a lazy yammer yammer yammer. I only pay attention to you when I’m yelling at you and I’m totally in the right because Rachel Granger said that yada yada -”

“Well, this was fun,” Tim said pleasantly, wiping his mouth with a napkin before balling it and tossing on the table. He put his chopsticks down and stood up, dusting off his hands. “Great to see all of you again, so much fun, but I have a cat to go iron.”

But Dad was staring at him, even when Mom was fuming in rage. In Korean, he said, “You’re disrespecting your mother, Ji-hoon.”

“For god’s sake, Richard, we speak English in this house. His name’s Timothy,” Mom snapped. Danny rolled his eyes. 

“Why not?” Tim asked in Korean, just to piss off Mom. Basira would have sneered at her respectability politics. Melanie would have lost her temper an hour - no, thirty years ago. Why were they stronger than Tim? “You don’t respect her.”

Almost silently, Danny whistled. 

“Timothy,” Mother started, scandalized, “listen to your -”

“Why? What can she say to me, besides the same shit I’ve been hearing my entire life? She’s not saying anything interesting.” Tim smiled brightly at his family, flashing all of his teeth. “You know what? In comparison with my life lately, you three are pretty fucking boring. Bye.”

That was when his mother burst into tears, and his father started yelling at him at the top of his voice and thumping the table until the dishes rattled, and when Danny started laughing. If they did anything else, if Dad was about to get out of his chair and smack him, if Mom was going to disown him, Tim didn’t wait around to see it. He grabbed his bomber jacket and stalked out the door, letting it fall behind him.

He breathed heavily on the pretty little sidewalk in front of their pretty little house. The pretty little roses in the pretty little garden bloomed perfectly, and their thorns were all cut off. Down the street pretty little houses made of ticky tacky loomed, and they were all within HOA compliance in their gated little community. Nobody in. Nobody out. 

When he was fifteen, Tim hated it because his parents were always trying to impose normalacy on him and he had never fucking measured up. When he was a young adult, he had hated it because he had fancied himself a gritty, street-wise cop who grappled with the dregs of society and always came out victorious. The perfect little families here thought that their gates could protect them from the cold and hard outside world - but the monsters in the world lived and breeded in their backyards, and they were too busy trimming their lawns to notice. 

He should go home. It was late, and he had his ridiculous, evil, gloriously imperfect job tomorrow. God, Melanie would hate this place. She would sneer at him for ever having lived here, chalking it up with his infinite list of sins. All you pigs are the same, she would nag, privileged and sheltered. Bitch. Why was she always right?

But Tim just couldn’t work up the energy to drive all the way home. His heart felt scooped out with a grapefruit spoon. Instead he stumbled into the little alley next to the house, where the garbage trucks and the alley cats roamed, and he collapsed into a little patch of scrubby grass. This had been his favorite place to sulk as a child. Or hide from Danny. Danny always found him, of course, but it was the principle of the matter -

“Man, I can’t believe I got that show for free. You should have charged, Ji-hoon.”

“Fuck off, Danny,” Tim said, tone dull with how rote the phrase was. 

When he glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Danny was dappled in night. The only light was from the streetlights, and the lights of their porch. In the dim lighting, Danny was lit by a bright aura but his features were hidden in the dark. Like an angel, Danny shone, and like a devil, Tim hid in the shadows. Hidden in the corner, like a powerless child. 

“It’s a compliment! Normally you’re the most boring, predictable bitch alive. Wind your key and watch you go. But not even I could have predicted the shit you pulled today. Fantastic.” Danny grinned, a slash of the mouth. “You’re dead disowned, buddy. You crossed a line. They’ll never forgive you.”

“Fuck off, Danny.”

“I’m looking forward to being an only child,” Danny mused. “Mom and Dad were always so obsessed with you, it’ll be nice to have them all to myself. When I make junior partner, do you think Dad will clap me on the back? Give me a hug?” He affected a sad look, pulling his face into a mockery of tragedy. “I’m really going to miss you. You always lowered the bar for me.”

“Fuck off, Danny.”

Apparently that was one ‘fuck off’ too many, because Danny kicked Tim in the ribs. He always knew exactly where to hit - right in an old scar in the ribs, a bullet wound that he had never told him about. Tim wheezed, but he didn’t move. No point. 

In a brief, strange flash of memory, Tim remembered bending his knee back to kick Jon in the stomach. Jon hadn’t flinched. Had there been no point?

“I know you spent your entire sad little childhood thinking I ruined your life. That’s bullshit and you know it. You didn’t need anyone else to ruin your life, Timbo. You’ve always been good enough at that yourself.” He pulled a faux-surprised face. Every expression Danny ever had was fake. Everything was a mask, plastic and fake. “Even your relationships, right? How’s that Mexican bird you got following you around? She still refusing to fuck you? I should pick her up, I bet she’s real easy -”

Tim saw red.

It was easy, in the end. Maybe too easy. He leapt up, in one easy and smooth motion, and tackled Danny to the ground. Tim had always been bigger but Danny had always been stronger, no matter how long Tim spent at the gym, but that didn’t matter now. Tim was faintly aware he was snarling as Danny hit the ground hard, head bouncing on the grass. 

There was no time for him to recover. Tim punched him in the face, keeping him down, before punching him again. He felt bone break under his fist. A nose. 

He didn’t remember anything after that. Everything fuzzed out a little, trapped in the swirling of his rage and the thump of his heartbeat. It wasn’t Martin’s anger, it wasn’t Sasha’s cold chase. It was just hatred. 

It wasn’t that - that thing inside Tim, the thing he had spent years denying. It was just Tim. Or maybe Tim was that thing, and that thing was Tim. 

He was faintly aware that somebody was grabbing him by the elbows, pulling him off. There was screaming. Wailing. He couldn’t really tell. Tim was dizzy, hands wet and sticky. Someone was crying - the nauseatingly familiar sound of his mother sobbing. 

Just boys roughhousing, Tim wanted to say. That was a good line, snappy and sarcastic. Just boys being boys, the same line he had heard time after time after time when Danny coated his entire torso in bruises. Monsters, acting like monsters. Men, doing what men always do. 

Tim left the scene. He wouldn’t be back. Never return to the scene of the crime, ha ha ha. He wouldn’t be welcome back. It should have felt crushing, isolating, terrifying.

But instead, Tim just felt free. As if a crushing weight had fallen off his shoulders, and he no longer felt suffocated by endless picking and prodding and pushing. It...he didn’t feel scared. 

Tim walked down the street, taking the long way home, whistling happily. He hated himself a little bit less than usual tonight. Things were looking up. 

iv.

Tim stared at Melanie as she slept. 

It wasn’t hard. They kept the lights on, although after a few days Melanie had started to use a sleeping mask. She had recovered from what happened fairly quickly. She still let him keep his arm on her. 

It tingled, just a little, where it touched her. She was warm and soft, breathing softly in a gentle rise and fall of her chest. Her face was slack with sleep. No nightmares. Melanie only looked gentle when she was asleep: any other time, her face was screwed up in intent thought or a mean comment or an exaggerated face made behind someone’s back. 

It was the first time Tim had slept in the same bed as a woman without sleeping with her. At Sasha’s, he always slept on the couch. It was a little weird. It was really weird. He kept on telling himself to pull away, to rebuild that bridge that had been so effortless with Sasha, to act normal and stop being desperate and needy. 

But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Every time he let go of her, he was alone. No matter how many people surrounded them, no matter how big the room or busy the sprawling London streets, when she was out of the room it felt as if she would never come back. 

He hated the way he felt. It was disgusting, crawling in his gut and heart like rot. He hated himself for feeling it, he hated the world for doing it to him, and he hated Melanie for making him feel this way. 

He didn’t know love could be this painful. 

***

Did he love her?

Tim was fairly sure he couldn’t love anybody. Whatever he felt for Sasha, it couldn’t be love. It could only be a selfish, disgusting poison. Or maybe he really did love her, and love really was poison - if it was the kind of love Tim felt for other people, if it was all he could give. 

But Tim knew Sasha, down to her soul. He knew her dark secrets, every skeleton in her closet. He knew what she was running from, why she had landed in England and never left, why she felt just as passionately for Tim’s crusade for justice as he did. 

Justice. What a joke. 

But Melanie wasn’t like that. She was rough and bitchy and meddling and willfully idiotic, but if you scratched that surface she was perfect. Kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, supportive - the kind of girl Tim had always wanted. Not that Sasha hadn’t been - but Sasha was somebody he should probably stay away from, for her own good. 

Melanie had saved him. Melanie was trying to fix him, and she wouldn’t stop until she did. She wouldn’t give up - she never gave up on anything or anyone. Even Tim. Maybe, if it was her, Tim could be fixed.

He squinted at her in the soft lights keeping away the dark lingering in the small windows. Did he want to kiss her? He should, right? Any emotion this strong, anything that made him feel so vulnerable and desperate and insane had to come with wanting to be with her. Not that she could ever like him that way back…

The idea was oddly nice. Men and women couldn’t be friends. But maybe Tim and Melanie could - Melanie, who would never love him in that way, freeing Tim of the obligation to reciprocate. 

He settled a little bit more, tucking her a little bit closer under him until he could no longer see her face. The idea was heady - that she was letting him do that, that she could be open and vulnerable in front of him too. That Tim had never really protected anybody, that Melanie was the first person to ever protect him, and that maybe he could pay that back. 

Maybe she could fix him. Give him love that was pure instead of corrupted; selfless instead of selfish. Tim needed her.

He tried not to hate it. 

***

That night, Tim had a dream that he was fucking Melanie in his old bed in his old flat. Danny was there, somehow, constantly mocking Tim on how badly he was doing, and every time Tim would yell at him to get out he would just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh -

***

Melanie dragged him to work with her the next morning, as Tim chugged a shitton of coffee and considered braining himself with a hammer so he could forget the dream he had last night. He would literally prefer the construction site nightmares. He could barely meet her eyes, and lived in relentless paranoia that somehow she knew and was going to call him disgusting which would be fair and true and -

“Do you think the old man in Home Alone is a Jesus allegory?”

Tim blinked blearily at her, still chugging his coffee. They had gotten his car keys and car back from Sasha - she still had everything he ever owned, but he didn’t want to deal with that - but Melanie was driving, since Tim’s reaction time wasn’t that good anymore and he tended to zone out. They would take the tube and avoid London traffic except, well…

“I have no opinions on Home Alone,” Tim said blankly. He had been reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra on his phone. So far he had several points of disagreement,  his largest was the man’s weird obsession with atheism. Granted, it was hard to be a nihilist and be religious, but Tim had insider information on the nature of the universe and he was working on a thesis - anyway. Anyway. “Why?”

“It’s a good movie, right? We should watch it for movie night tonight.”

“I thought you wanted to watch T2 today.”

“Aw, fuck, right.” Melanie slightly slapped the steering wheel. They didn’t move - traffic was really hell. “I am a slut for fictionalized violence. Isn’t Sarah Connor the most badass action hero ever?”

“She’s awesome,” Tim agreed warmly. “But Schwarzenneger in that movie is just peak. Have you ever seen Predator? It was his best role.”

Melanie snorted. “Predator was so boring. Just a lot of oiled up men flexing at each other.”

Typical. Tim rolled his eyes, propping an elbow below the window, but he found himself smiling anyway. “What do you want me to watch instead, Blue is the Warmest Color?”

“Laugh all you want, idiot. You’re getting the whole rota of required watching for gay people. First on the list is the Birdcage, then right after that Paris is Burning -”

Tim groaned theatrically, drowning her out, but all that did was hit him with the musk of his small, battered car. The smell of Melanie hit him like a truck - her Melon shampoo, her 24 hour deodorant, the dust of the Archives, something unique to her that he just couldn’t place. 

To Tim’s horror, the scent pulled at that deep pit in his stomach. Don’t think about it. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t let them know - except for Sasha, who always knew. It made him want to do - stuff that he didn’t want to do. Not really. Tim didn’t want that. Whoever Tim was.

Counterintuitively, the hunger made it easier to keep that fake smile and forced manic energy when they got to the office. He wasn’t really up to it today - some days were easier than others - but that didn’t really matter when he had to aggressively convince everybody that he was fine. The alternative was everybody giving him sad and pitying looks, which was a thousand times worse than any infernal hell torture. 

It wasn’t. But he still didn’t want to deal with it. 

So he kicked the door open, yelled something meaningless about how the bitch was back, and let Basira ignore him and Martin roll his eyes and Sasha very pointedly ignore him. He noted that Daisy wasn’t in this morning - ever since their planning session, she had been dropping by more frequently to flirt obnoxiously with Basira, but she obviously couldn’t spend all of her time here if she wanted to keep up the pretense with Peter Lukas. 

Which was...somewhat of a relief. 

Tim collapsed in what used to be Daisy’s chair at her desk, which was for far more important reasons than just because he didn’t want to sit next to Sasha. The upside is that Melanie sat diagonal from him, across from Basira, who didn’t give a shit what he did if she wasn’t using him as a meaningless sounding board for her constant venting. It wasn’t all bad, if he didn’t look too hard at whatever the fuck Martin was doing at any given time. 

So he swiveled in his chair as Melanie, Basira, and Sasha disappeared into the library. He stood up to go with her, but Melanie made a gesture that sent him sitting down again. Martin, who was writing something ornate in his journal, snickered. 

Six months ago Tim would have snapped at him, but instead he just leaned back in his chair and squeezed his grip trainer. The grind never stopped. “Writing love poetry, buddy? In the Romantic tradition or the...fuck, I don’t know any other poets.”

Martin silently held up his journal. The only thing written was ‘murder kill murder’, repeatedly, up and down two pages. 

Well. That was enough teasing Martin for one day. He really had no idea how Melanie was brave enough to get Martin to listen to listen to her - or, worse, why he did. 

After an hour or so, spent reading Plato and disagreeing with a great deal, Jon slunk out of his office and blinked owlishly at both Tim and Martin, who had been politely minding their own business. 

Tim realized - in the same way that, whenever he saw Jon, he was inescapably reminded that he knew what he looked like when he was about to die - that the room was filled with two guys who had tried repeatedly to kill him. Fuck, he was probably uncomfortable. Good job, Tim. Way to keep terrorizing people. But he really wasn’t capable of doing anything else, so it was hardly a surprise - 

“Hullo, Martin. I’m picking up some food from the vending machine, do you want anything?”

Oh. They were going for ‘disturbingly banal’ today. Martin smiled shyly at Jon, who blushed in response. “Surprise me. Thanks, Jon.”

“Want any razor blades in the apples?” 

“You know that’s a myth, Jon,” Martin said disapprovingly. Or maybe not.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“You are the sexiest guy I’ve ever met,” Martin whispered. 

Then Jon flushed, and leaned casually in what he probably thought was a hot pose and unfortunately totally was against Martin’s desk, and Tim was subjected to their absolutely fucking atrocious flirting for the next ten minutes. At that point, Tim found his breaking point and left the Archives, the terror of being in semi-public outweighed by the terror of Jonmartin. That was what Basira and Melanie kept calling it. He really didn’t know what that meant, but whatever.

But after fifteen minutes of standing in front of the vending machine himself, quietly overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of choices and colors and flavors and sugar, he heard someone else approaching. He snapped his head to the left to see a gawky, hunched scarecrow slouch down the hall, raising a hand apologetically. That man put no effort into his appearance, how as he still that hot -

Maybe Jon and Martin were normal, Tim secretly wondered, and Tim just didn’t understand gay courting rituals. He had to find out, right? How do you flirt with guys? It wasn’t as if he could practice with the two guys in the office. Especially Martin. Tim had never really paid a lot of attention to him before he came back to life, writing him off as a beta male - which ended up being so hilariously incorrect it forced Tim to sit down and reconsider his entire framework of alpha and beta males. Melanie had given him a sticker. 

“Uh. Hey.”

Tim stared at him blankly. 

Jon rubbed the back of his neck. “How...are you?”

Tim blinked at him. 

“Well. I would, er, enjoy using the vending machine.”

Oh. Obviously. Tim stepped aside, cheeks burning, and silently let Jon punch in the code for a Mars Bar (for Martin, probably) and a granola bar (because an alarm went off on his desk if he didn’t eat a snack at 3pm). 

It wasn’t their first time being alone together since he came back, but as Tim had been more or less catatonic at that period in time he was inclined not to count that. Jon hadn’t seemed scared, anyway. Probably. Tim hadn’t paid much attention. 

He should do this. He had to do it. It was all about making up for the shit he did, right? He had to face this. Then Jon would forgive him, not that he had to, and - and something vaguely good would happen. He would find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and the hunger would go away, and the intrusive thoughts would be all gone. Melanie would give him another sticker. Or something.

“You can go for it, you know.”

Jon whipped his head around, shocked at Tim addressing him directly for the first time in a very long time. “What?”

Idiot. If this guy had been in a single fight in his life, he’d eat his hat. From what Jon had seen of his childhood friend, Georgie’s girlfriend who he hated for absolutely no reason, she had probably defended him from every bully. It was almost cute. 

“You can get a good one in,” Tim repeated slowly. He turned his cheek. “Promise I won’t punch back or anything.”

“I - do you mean punch you?” The Mars Bar rattled down the machine, dropping heavily into the tray. “Why would I do that?”

Jesus, the guy was thick. “Do you remember when I kidnapped and tried to kill you, or is that just me?”

Jon blinked owlishly at him. “Lots of people try to kill me.”

“Don’t you want to?” Tim cried, a little bit higher and a little bit louder than he intended. “Come on, as if you’ve never wanted to do it? Wouldn’t it help? You got in a week of being a passive aggressive asshole, that isn’t enough. It doesn’t make up for anything. This would.”

 “How would that fix anything?”

Tim’s breath hitched. But Jon was just staring, as if he could see right through him. Maybe he could. “What?”

“How would hurting you make me feel better?” Jon repeated slowly. “It won’t change what happened. Punching you wouldn’t change what you did to me. All it would do is make you feel better, as if that fixes it. It doesn’t. Is that how you solve all of your problems? That explains a lot.”

His breath was coming faster, hitching again. He couldn’t control it. “I’m trying to do you a favor, asshole.”

“No, you’re trying to make yourself feel better.” Jon smiled politely and, before Tim could jerk away, clapped him on the shoulder. “I forgave you a long time ago. Not because of you. But I just didn’t want it hanging over me. I gave myself closure and moved on. Sometimes bad things happen to us, and we have to get up the next day and go to work anyway. My friends helped. My family did too. I’m sorry you don’t have that, Tim. You’ll get closure one day.” Jon looked thoughtful for a second. “I mean, getting closure about being almost killed one time must be a lot easier than dealing with the fact that you killed fifteen people in your life? Twice that supernatural people, I think. You know you’re technically a serial killer? I won’t judge, this is a safe space, but I thought you ought to know.”

Somehow, inanely, all Tim could think of to say was, “It’s not serial killing if it’s part of your job.”

“Which is why I’m sure you took that job,” Jon said brightly. “Let’s get back to the office before Martin decides to amuse himself.”

For a second, just for a second - or two, or ten, or a minute - Tim vividly imagined himself ripping Jon’s throat out. Killing him properly this time, putting that look on his face again. It had felt so good, and - and it had made him feel so bad, but that felt good too, and he still didn’t know why, and he wanted to eat Jon so bad. Jon, who was innocent in everything, gentle and kind. Nothing like Tim. That was why everybody liked Jon and hated Tim. 

From what he had heard, while Tim was going insane hyperfixating on the chase a few years ago, the girls had spent ages talking Jon down from a breakdown and steering him away from the same path that Tim had barrelled down. Who had done that for him? Sasha made a big show of keeping his head level, but she had used him just as ruthlessly as he had used her. She never had an investment in keeping him sane; just functional. 

If somebody had done that for him, would he still be cruel?

 They went back to the office, and Tim pretending that the hunger swirling in his gut was just self-hatred. But, then again, they really were the same thing. 

When Melanie came out of the library with Basira and Sasha on her heels, talking quietly about some new scheme they were cooking up, Tim found himself reaching out to her. Melanie smiled and squeezed his hand, before gently heckling his choice in literature. 

Some stupid part of him - maybe even a large part - thought that once he was clasping Melanie’s hand again, the hunger would quiet down. It had protected him underground, it felt as if it should protect him in the world above.

But it didn’t, and it didn’t solve anything, and Tim tried not to think about the fact that he was slowly unwinding, and that he didn’t want to see what was inside him when everything that was Tim Stoker fell away. 

***

A short yet tumultuous time later, Tim was called into Jon’s office. 

He hadn’t wanted to come to work. But the alternative of stewing at home - Melanie’s flat - was much worse, and Basira had reported that too many skip days made them all way too sick. Might as well come in. Melanie had spent the night at Georgie’s - like she had the past two days, what a fucking coincidence - so he didn’t have to worry about that awkwardness.

After too long memorizing the face after too many sleepless nights, Tim could imagine it vividly. Soft, uncreased, innocent of how hard the world could be. Tim couldn’t bear it. He had to ruin it. He just couldn’t bear it. 

He was the first one in the office, so it was easy to see the poisonous death glare Basira shot him when she walked in. So Melanie had told them - of course she fucking told them, she hadn’t done anything wrong, she wasn’t obliged to lie. Daisy was hot on her heels, and she actually properly snarled at him before Basira pulled her back while somehow giving the full impression that she wanted to do the same thing. 

He should probably go hide in the library before Martin came in. He couldn’t decide whether or not this was worse than the shunning. The shunning had driven him absolutely crazy, but at least he hadn’t been legitimately afraid that Martin would stab him and that nobody would stop him. 

There was the faint sound of raised voices in the cowpen. Tim knew that they were arguing about him. He already knew what they would decide - wait for Melanie’s verdict. But are you sure she isn’t too close to this? No, she knows the fucker better than anybody else, she would judge if they needed to do anything. What are we going to tell Sasha? The truth, fucking obviously. 

Sasha. Tim wanted her to be surprised. He knew she wouldn’t be. That hurt more. 

After what felt like an infinite amount of time but he knew was only a few hours, pouring over Sasha’s collection of Vast and Spiral Statements, he heard the library door open. It was Jon, standing at the threshold, and all Tim could think was - oh, man, here we go. 

It was a regular walk of shame into Jon’s office, and he couldn’t miss the way everybody’s heads snapped to look at him. Sasha, just as he thought, looked resigned. Melanie was frowning. 

Jon’s office was the same as ever, not that Jon went in too frequently. The only strange thing about it was that Jon locked the door behind him. Tim didn’t know what that boded, but it wasn’t good.

Well, might as well take control of the situation. He collapsed on the chair in front of his desk and propped his boots on Jon’s desk, wishing he had a drink to obnoxiously sip. “Is this the part where you threaten me?” He affected a fake baritone, somehow still not even hitting Jon’s register. “ ‘Touch her again and you’ll answer to me’. ‘Stay away from her or you’ll face the consequences’. Come on, I’ve read a thousand creeps the same riot act. Get it over with.”

Jon sat down heavily in his office chair. The office had chipped in to buy him a new one as a birthday gift, much more comfortable than the old one. But he was leaning forward now, arms folded on the desk. 

“Would that make you feel better?”

Great, this again. “Yeah, it evokes the emotionally absent father I was raised with,” Tim snarked. “If you aren’t going to say it, what am I in here for?”

He was afraid to know what he was in here for. Melanie had told him that if he did it again, she’d sic Jon on him. And Tim knew what it looked like when Jon was sicced on someone. This wasn’t it. 

“Tim,” Jon said seriously, and he was somehow kind about it. “You know what this looks like, right?”

Something ugly and ashamed twisted in Tim’s gut. He fought the urge to sink in his seat. “Yeah.”

“You know why we’re worried now.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tim looked fixedly at the wall, unwilling to meet Jon’s eyes. “I - I’m not going to do it again. I swear. And - and it wasn’t like that. I promise. I’m not - I’m not a creep, okay? Ask Sasha. I’ve never - I’ve killed people, but that’s not nearly as bad as - I’m not going to do it again. It was a mistake.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Tim’s head snapped back to Jon, and before he could think about it he found himself half-rising from the chair. Jon’s cold stare had him sitting back down again, but his heart was thumping a drum in his chest. “Then what do you want?” Tim just barely restrained himself from yelling, knowing that the girls were probably listening at the door anyway. “What can I do to convince you that’d rather chop off my own hand than hurt her?”

“You can give your permission to let me ask you some questions.”

Tim faltered. “What? Just questions?”

“Uh.” Jon waved his hand in a circle in the air, as if that meant anything. “You know. Questions. I haven’t really done it since - since I think I did it to you? But I think I can do it on command now. I don’t like to.” His eyes sharpened, and for a second Tim could have sworn that they glimmered. “But I can’t take a chance. Not on this.”

It was like he was falling again, through that infinite void that was the last taste of freedom he had thought he would ever have. It was like he was suffocating again, a mile of dirt piled on his chest, banging incessantly at the lid of the coffin. Nobody saved him, until she did. He was distantly aware that he was barely holding back hyperventilating, but all Tim could feel was dissociated horror. 

“You - you can’t. Jon, I - I won’t do it again, you can’t.”

Jon’s mouth twisted into a frown. “I won’t if you give me a flat no. I don’t like doing it.” That was a lie and they both fucking knew it. “But if you don’t, we can’t trust you again. We’d convince Melanie to let you stay with Martin. We wouldn’t leave you in the same room together. You’re not stable, Tim. It’s obvious. We thought it was harmless - or, at least, the only person you were hurting was yourself - but it’s not anymore. We’re all scared. I don’t want to hurt you just because we’re scared, but Melanie is the only one here who couldn’t really defend herself if you decided to do anything else to her.” He grimaced slightly. “Not that she admits it. She always puts herself between us and any enemy. But we have to pay that back. I know you understand.”

He did. 

Hate burned in his stomach. What a hypocrite. Giving all of that big talk about choice and options. He knew that there was no option, not if they were going to rip him apart from the one person who he felt safe with. 

The one person who wasn’t safe with him. 

Tim deserved this. Even if it had been his worst fear a year ago - well, Tim had experienced much worse than that since then. 

When you did shit to other people, you make up for it. You make sure that you can’t hurt anybody else again. Jon was right - gestures didn’t mean anything. He had to commit. He had to improve, be better. Otherwise he’d be sent straight back down to that place when he died, and there would be no saving him. 

“Yeah,” Tim said, mouth dry, “you can do it. But - but no personal questions this time, okay? Just stick to the subject.”

“They seem to always end up a bit personal,” Jon said apologetically, “but I’ll try.”

Deep within Jon, inside of the unassuming and kind and gentle man, the subject of Tim’s nightmares rose. His eyes flashed green, then shined with a bright and sickly radioactive green. His hair strained against its bun and fuzzed at the end, but it didn’t break free. 

“What’s your name, Tim?”

The worst part about the compelling, Tim had decided long ago, was that you didn’t feel brainwashed. 

You felt exactly as if you were talking normally, that there was nothing strange about Jon or you. His words didn’t ring with a mysterious power. If you had entered it thinking you were talking of your own volition, you probably wouldn’t notice. But if you knew what was happening, the curtain was lifted, and you were deathly aware of the way the words were ripped out of you with fishhooks. It left Tim gasping, straining for air. 

“Timothy Ji-hoon Stoker,” Tim said, and it was almost as if he wanted to. “My dad just calls me Ji-hoon though. So do my grandparents. My last name’s made up as fuck - I think Mom just saw a book at the airport and picked it out from the cover. Kind of ironic, considering everything.”

“Oh, really? Daisy says that she got Tonner because her English wasn’t great and she misheard someone at the airport asking her for a tenner - right, right.” Jon coughed. Wait, was the reason why Daisy barely talked when he first met her was because her English was bad? “On topic. Tim, do you want to attack Melanie again?”

“Of course not,” Tim burst out, and these words, at least, came easy. “I love her. I hate hurting her, I hate how I’m constantly fucking up and doing it anyway. I’m just violent and I don’t know how not to be violent. It’s the only way I deal with things, being violent, and I know it’s eating me up inside but I just can’t stop it. But if there’s one person who can help me stop, it’s Melanie. She’s going to fix me, I know it.”

The words were unbelievably humiliating, the kind of thing that Tim had never wanted to admit, but Jon’s expression didn’t change. Tim wanted to look away, to pretend that this was just an internal narration and that he wasn’t telling this his fucking coworker, but he found himself incapable. Their gazes locked, and Tim couldn’t pull away. 

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I was scared, and I hate being scared so much. It’s what I always do, ever since I was a kid - I would get scared, and I would try to hurt something or someone about it. I did it to you, I was so scared of you that I obsessed about killing you and covered it up with some bullshit about justice or Sasha. It was just about me, it’s always been selfish. But - but- but -” The words were sticking in his throat, coagulating on the wound ripped open by Jon and his fishhooks. “But I hate her. I hate that I care, and I hate that I need her, and - and I don’t think I did it just because I was scared. I think I did it because I was scared, and I love her, and I hate her, and I’m beginning to think I have some kind of weird complex about women because of my mother’s overly dependent narcissistic personality and my father’s emotional detachment -”

“You just now figured that out?” Jon asked incredulously. “Sorry, you just now started realizing that your toxic masculinity controls your entire justification for your actions?”

“I’ve known for a while but I’ve been repressing it,” Tim said hurriedly, forced to answer that one despite Jon probably intending it as a rhetorical question. 

Jon stared at him for a second silently, giving Tim time to catch his breath and try to control his breathing. He was one bad step away from a panic attack, and his hold was still clenched on this throat like a fist. Danny had done that to him one time, the son of a bitch, and he had never forgotten. Should he tell Jon that? Does he have to?

“Tim,” Jon said finally. He looked very uncomfortable, but also resolute. As if he didn’t want to ask, or maybe he just didn’t want to know, but he felt as if he had to. “Are you in love with Melanie?”

Tim opened his mouth to answer him, and found that he couldn’t.

The strange and evil magic didn’t like that. Whatever Tim wanted to say, if there was anything to say, it caught in his throat and made him gag. It choked him. He was well acquainted with the feeling, but it sent him into a panic anyway. His breath started shuddering and heaving, his vision swimming, and he kept on answering his mouth to answer because you have to answer but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t, he didn’t know how -

“Forget it! Forget it, Tim, don’t worry about it! Tim, what’s your favorite color? Tim, your favorite color! Answer me!”

“Grey!” Tim cried out. “Grey, it’s grey!”

He didn’t so much stand up from his chair as fall out of it. He didn’t so much let himself sit on the ground as found himself incapable of moving. He just breathed, waiting and waiting to spit up dirt and grime and rocks, but nothing happened. It was just a panic attack, because his hell was within him, and there was no escape. 

No escape. There was no escape. Not from what he’d done in his past, not from how badly he’d hurt Melanie and Sasha, not from how he would inevitably hurt them in the future. 

You had to cut out the evil things in this world. One bad apple spoils the bunch. When criminals are left to run wild, they corrupt and destroy society. Evil had to be eliminated. Evil people shouldn’t exist. 

Evil people shouldn’t exist. It wasn’t a new thought for him. Neither was the thought after that. It was a thought he’d had for a very long time - before he even met Melanie, before he even admitted it. 

“Tim, are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

After a few heart-wrenching seconds, Tim found himself calming down enough to answer. “You meant to. You just didn’t want to. I made you do this.” One bad apple spoils the bunch. “Is - is that enough? I can answer more -”

“No, that’s enough,” Jon said quickly. “It’s - it’s not my place to pass judgement on you, Tim. And your, uh, disturbed thinking. Melanie - anyway, we’ll work on it.” He smiled weakly, placatingly. “I’ve been there. The others helped. If it wasn’t for them, I’d be - I don’t know where I’d be, but I’d be a lot worse off. We can help you too. If you let us. I know it’s scary, but it’s worth it. I promise.”

“Right,” Tim said. “Can I go now?”

When he left Jon’s office, everybody was at their desks. He knew what the guilty expressions when they all pretended they hadn’t been eavesdropping, but they weren’t wearing them now. Maybe everybody had grown up a bit recently. 

Tim slunk into the library, and for good measure locked it behind him. He pulled out a thick stack of books, a teetering pile of Statements. He needed to research. There was a decision he had to make, and he needed as much proof as possible and a well-laid plan. It wasn’t quite a hunt, but it was close. It wasn’t quite the apocalypse, but it was his own.

But, of course, it was a lie. Tim had made his decision a few minutes ago. He had made it a long time ago. He kept making it, every time. Everything else was just justification. 

It wouldn’t fix anything - but it’d make him feel better. 

[shini--chan]

May I request Allies with an S/O who's a small country rich in some rare spices/gems and their reaction to an enemy country invading them for those resources? (Yandere and S/O are allies/have close political relationship)

I really enjoyed writing this! Thx :)

Yandere Allies

America

The moment the news floats in, he stills for a moment for a few precious seconds before launching into a fever of planning and hasty communication.

While on a large part Alfred may act like a dope – it means that people severely underestimate him and it is so amusing to see the looks of shock and horror when he does/says something intelligent – he is no wimp when it comes to war.

Believe me when I say he is the last person you’d want to face on the battlefield. The sorry sod that decided to attack you effectively signed their own death sentence.

He is the hero, really Captain America in the way he is the golden boy of the army and ready to swoop in to save his girl. A bright and glorious defender of liberty indeed. However, he very much forgets that he is the anti-hero of his own story.

The end justifies the means, and if the end means have you happily in your arms, then he’ll rain hell fire upon his foes and call it poetic justice later. You’ll do best to remember that, especially when he starts worming his way in and ensnaring you tighter with kind words and half-genuine, half-pretended compassion. All soft power to drive you in his arms and trap you there. Before you know it, he’ll have you thoroughly Americanized and depended on him.

Canada

Yes, Matthew is kind and compassionate and doesn’t like to fight…

…that doesn’t mean he extends that to his enemies and that doesn’t mean he isn’t good at it. The nation that dared attack his lover isn’t going to have an easy time at it.

Of course, Canada is unbelievably patient and will try any other route to secure peace. He’ll negotiate, he’ll point to chartas and treaties and the disadvantages of invading you. And then, when there is no avail, he’ll proceed to give his enemy nightmares.

If you really think that Canada is a wuss that can’t even hold a knife, then go ahead and ask Francis’, heck, even Ludwig. They both can attest that Matthew isn’t just a sweet little wall flower.

Suddenly, the jokes of him being invisible aren’t so funny anymore – especially not in a war zone.

After he has sent his enemy packing, there is nothing that is going to prevent him making the ties between you two even closer. The treaties he’ll draw up will have only the tinest loopholes for you to wriggle to freedom.

China

So, his dear political ally is under attack? By that nation, you say?

Yao will sigh heavily upon hearing the news and demand that the reports be handed over to him. Slowly, as he processed the words, his rage would grow, only disguised by a practised poker face. He’d only unleash his emotions in a controlled environment or directly at the enemy in an onslaught of cutting remarks.

Yao is old, but old doesn’t mean he has become tired of the savoury taste of ambition and victory. If there are a few things that age has taught him, it would be patience and how to obliterate his enemy. How would said enemy feel if everything they held dear would start to crumble to ash.

China will start to throw his weight around and place sanctions or also demand that debts be repaid. Should that not work, or the offender get more desperate to get their hands on your resources, China would start to flex his muscles – a few troops are really nothing compared to what he could actually do, right?

There are a few things in this world that nobody wants to rouse; one of them would be the anger of the Great Red Dragon.

Afterwards, he would ensure that you are fine – strengthen the trade between you. Maybe buy up a few of your resources at that and let a few of his companies settle there. That wouldn’t be a problem, or would it? 

England

The moment England catches wind of the invasion, he is transformed into a seething mess. That switches to icy resignation, the sort that is threaded with rage and promises damnation and then to a melodramatic mess. If the big-shots aren’t already convinced to come to your aid in fear of losing a very important ally, they will do it for the sake of calming the personification down – Arthur is just that bad.

Really, the gall that snotty nosed, twitches weasel of an invader had to attempt to take away what is rightfully Arthur’s. They were just baby steps into a grand project – that of him wooing you, utter and completely so that you would be totally captivated – and then that wench had to ruin half of that hard work. You’re distressed and paranoid – something England can’t tolerate.

But Arthur has always been an opportunist, if there has been any.

Of course, Arthur is a gentleman but that is also just one facet of him. Very clearly he remembers how it was to be an empire and the euphoria of crushing his opponents to ash and dust. So why not take the chance to relive the good old day?

The enemy will have made a mistake in assuming that England had lost his vicious bite.

After repelling the aggressors he’ll be sure to keep some soldiers stationed.

You don’t like it? Oh, please darling, it is for your own good! What is your problem with his officials taking over the resources and conduct the operations? Aren’t you still ravaged by war? You need all the help you can get. (Not that this would end after you have recovered. Arthur is too greedy and possessive for that)

France

That usually so open face hardens. He doesn’t like the idea of you being invaded and filched away from him very unappealing.

Now, first things first. France knows that he isn’t the best when it comes to war, the years have taught him that bitter lesson. And to a former empire like him, that is extremely bitter.

That doesn’t stop him from trying – the notion of you not being close to him drives him to the edge of insanity and he has to resist the urge to carelessly tear his hair out. He is probably burning through a few cigarettes to calm himself down while he goes over the plans with his generals.

He’ll send you a lot of relief in form of men, rations, and medical supplies. On top of that, he’ll help you establish an active and large resistance. It just happens that Francis is best at undercover operations.

He’ll be there for you when nobody else, your anchor in the storm. So that afterwards, he can make it seem like your choice to isolate yourself from all but him.     

Russia

War is something that has always been a part of his life, so he’ll find to very poetic to go to war for his desired. He won’t let it end in a tragedy this time.

At first, it won’t be a full-scale war from his side since the other nations still fear him and are therefore out for his blood. Ivan doesn’t immediately what to give them an excuse to go after him, even if he is spilling blood for your sake.

So, in the beginning, he’ll send arms and men – field doctors, strategists and also a few bodyguards for you. Russia might even join them, to ensure you stay safe under his watchful eye. With his rather flippant demeanour in the face of hardship, you could even need him desperately.

On top of that, he wants to gouge your capabilities and test your mettle on the one or the other occasion – he has to know the strengths and weaknesses of his dearest, their vices and virtues .

If the enemy doesn’t relent, he’ll send a fully armed battalion, to remind you of his love…

Back to business. Keep in mind that this nation is very desensitised to violence and he really knows how to hold a grudged. He has a long memory and can’t be tricked easily. You might want to step in before the battle becomes a slaughter and even then, you’ll have to be very careful, least he interprets your actions and words as betrayal.

Afterwards, once it is just you and him and your people, be careful, for everybody’s sakes. He’ll want to keep a tight hold on you and if you want to worm yourself out, you’ll have to be extremely cautious and appeal to his emotions. And it is even questionable if that will work.

[glitterfairy-21225]

Vanya Hargreeves- A Character Analysis/A Defense

Honestly, I think the fandom underestimates how fucked up Vanya's isolation must have been for her to be the way she was in season one. Like, I once saw a fic that was like, 'Oh, Klaus used to go to all Vanya's concerts but got banned because he clapped too loud!' And that was a sweet sentiment but when I really thought about it.... No. No, he didn't. That didn't happen.

I think some of the discourse on Vanya is a misconception on just how emotionally stunted she was. Like, we're holding her to the standards of someone with emotional maturity making rational decisions.

One of the most damaging things you can do to yourself is repress. Vanya has been repressing her entire life, without her own consent. She was raised to hold in her emotions, it is the only thing she knows how to do. So holds back and holds in until finally it all comes bursting out in her in the worst way possible.

During the season one finale, Vanya remembers cruel things her siblings said to her... And it's extremely underwhelming. It feels like shit I'd say to my sibling. For awhile I wondered why they didn't go big on how messed up she was treated. But look at it from this lens: Vanya is so broken emotionally that she is unable to differentiate between siblings being siblings and abuse. They are one and the same to her. 

There were no clap backs. No retorts. They were just moments she internalized so bad and so hard. It was only until she had the power that she was even capable of fighting back, and by then it's not siblings being shits, it's a representation of all the little bouts of power she was deprived of her entire life.

The White Violin is the personification of Vanya's bitterness. She sucks the life out her brothers in the finale, but not because she wants to kill her brothers, but because her rage has built up into delusion. She's not hurting anyone in her eyes, she's finally taking what she's been kept from her entire life and stopping anyone who wants to silence her again.

As for her book... Vanya spent her entire childhood being repressed and likely thought that once she was an adult, once she was free, once she was around people ordinary like her, all that powerlessness would go away. But it didn't. Because trauma doesn't work like that. She still has no agency and is still ignored. I don't fully condone what she does with the book but I think we need to take more strides in understanding her.

I don't actually think one of her character flaws is judging her siblings. She gets overly emotional, of course, but I do not think Vanya was given remotely enough time with her siblings to see them in a good light. 

I mean, even in just season one, Diego is downright cruel for the first half, Luther... we know how that ends, Allison tries but tends to be insensitive at times, Klaus doesn't even talk to her in the first season, and Five says hi in the first episode and then he's elsewhere.

You could say that all that's a result of her actions, or that they just had more important things than her going on. And fair, absolutely fair. But I don't think this is a new occurrence.

As for the ethics of publishing it, I don't blame her that much for it anymore.... In a way. I feel like I'd have to actually read it. But to be fair the book is an autobiography and a recounting of Vanya's life. And I think the case could be made that she has a right to publish her own life story because it's hers. Even how she may or may not have written about her siblings, it could be argued that as it's Vanya's story, portraying them as they were presented to her makes sense.

It's commonly agreed that her book held accusations and assumptions, but no one's actually read the thing. The show excerpts don't really show that for me. Comic excerpts, definitely. But this is the show and I don't think I'll count that because of how different they are. I don't disapprove of using the comic as a source, but still. 

Like, she talks about how they aren't a real family, which like... Honestly, I feel was a sentiment they all shared. Diego was the one who took it as an insult the most, but of course he was. He's not exactly portrayed as sensible the first few episodes. You could say Vanya didn't fight back, but face to face she does not know how to defend herself. Allison threw it in her face out of spite but didn't say anything too damning.

I can see editors pushing her to add more stuff on her siblings and Vanya doing it because she's only capable of standing up for herself indirectly. And the stuff she added wasn't nice, but she doesn't have much material now does she?

Notice how The White Violin smiled at Allison after just a week of her sister trying. Notice how much better she is with the rest of her family after they include her in season two. After being included in fun time with Klaus and Allison, after Diego forgives her, after Luther apologizes.  She was undeniably bitter, but I think she's always been capable of letting that bitterness go if her siblings had just treated her as a sister. 

All this to say; Vanya Hargreeves is a flawed person. She has no emotional control. But I have seen a lot of criticisms of her, some completely and one hundred percent fair based on how you would interpret her and her actions. But I personally feel as if there are also criticisms taken in bad faith that misunderstand Vanya and do not do her justice, and this is just my two cents.