#and sometimes it is. sometimes we can see why bad people did their bad things. and sometimes we shall never understand.

[orimuraa]

✎ᝰ. So sweet like bubblegum - OT7

(synopsis) ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 when you are enhypen’s tutor but they end up falling in love with you -✧

ot7 enhypen x fem!reader ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 fluff ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 mutual pining ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 reader has to tutor enha ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 tutor to lovers ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 sunghoon's has a kiss in it ˖ ִֶָ𐀔 wc 1.7k

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂ

𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

recently, you have been tasked by your professor to tutor lee heeseung. heeseung was your typical jock, he played football, he was tall, muscular, handsome, and was practically failing his classes. heeseung was very popular around your school so when you started tutoring him a couple months ago, people thought that you two looked really cute together. over the time, you found yourself falling more and more for heeseung's flirty nature. the truth was, heeseung actually liked you for a long time now and felt like he practically won the whole lottery when he was told that you would be his tutor. one afternoon, you received a text from heeseung, asking you to meet him in the school garden. confused, you made your way to the garden, spotting heeseung in the middle. "y/n, i don't really know how to say this so i'll just be straightforward with it. i- i really like you and i have for a really long time and i've just been too scared to say anything because i was scared you didn't feel the same way!" you found him quite cute the way he shut his eyes and just let his words spill out, in hopes that it would make sense to you. "heeseung, i like you too. i'm so glad you were able to tell me how you felt" you smiled. you will never forget the way his eyes lit up and he pulled you into the sweetest embrace, mumbling into your hair how he would never ever hurt you. man, you got so lucky with this one.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

it wasn't like jay was a bad student, he just had been struggling in the english class a bit more than he would've liked. but when he got the news from his professor that you would be his tutor, he was beyond excited. he had been hiding a 3-year-long crush on you for forever and he felt that now was his chance to finally make his move. you two had instantly clicked during your first tutoring session and you had secretly been crushing on him for the past few weeks as you tutored him. jay couldn't just let you slip thru his fingers yet so he decided to pick up the courage to ask you out. while you were studying, you felt your phone ping on the desk next to you. looking at it, you saw it was from jay. it read: hey ynnie! i'm sorry i'm too much of a chicken to come ask you in person but, did you maybe wanna go out sometime with me? y'know as a date? lmk and we can plan! <3 maybe your love life wasn't so sad after all.

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

jake wasn't exactly the brightest when it came to some of your classes, so when you started to tutor him, you began to see why he didn't fully understand the work. he was easily distracted, resembling an adorable golden retriever, and although it was hard to tutor him, you couldn't help but catch feelings for the boy. he was so sweet and kind and you smiled so much your cheeks hurt whenever you were around him. jake on the other hand, was always so nervous whenever you two had a study session because how could he ever act normal when the prettiest, sweetest girl was tutoring him? he was head over heels for you and anyone could see it. it just happened that you were a bit oblivious to things like that and completely missed the way his eyes would form into little hearts whenever you would walk by. jake always thought that you were wayyy too good for him. you were basically just a fantasy that he couldn't obtain. everyday, both you and him would fall more and more into a love spell with each other with the other not knowing anything about the feelings. so it was a bit nerve-wracking when you received a confession letter from jake, saying how in-love he was with you and how he didn't exactly have the courage to go up to you and say it to your pretty face. but in the end, it all worked out as he was able to win your heart and take you on a date (later on, dating).

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

park sunghoon was the school's best ice skater, but when he started to fall behind in his math class, it posed as a great threat to him. if his grades were not good enough, he wouldn't be able to participate in the competitions. therefore, he needed a tutor asap. that's where you come in. he came up to you one day, practically begging for you to tutor him since you two shared a math class, only agreeing because you had a massive slight crush on him.you had only really seen sunghoon during the ice skating competitions, but being able to enjoy his real personality up-close like this was even better. he was actually a naturally charming guy and he was so sweet with you. no one in their right mind would be able to resist his charm. sunghoon had also been slightly crushing on you since you've started tutoring him. the way you were genuine with him and didn't just want to be near him cause of who his reputation was, but for his actual personality. one session, he had abruptly stopped the lesson and turned towards you. "i think i would go crazy if i didn't say this now so y/n, i like you. i've never felt like this for anyone and i really don't want to mess this up, and it's totally fine if you don't feel the same beca-" you quickly shut him up with a kiss, just so happy to hear that your crush was mutual and not just one sided. "it's okay, i like you too" the two of you just smiling like idiots.

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우

at first, you were really shocked to hear that you would be tutoring kim sunoo because you thought he had decent grades? but nonetheless, you were excited. you actually had a massive crush in sunoo since forever but you were way too shy to go up and confess, so you were hoping to make a good impression on him. kim sunoo actually did know who you were and he would be lying if he said he didn't find you a tad bit cute. you were exactly his type and you were so so so so sweet. you two were an immediate bond at your first tutoring session and the both of you were practically made for each other. other students already thought you were dating with how close you two had become. but one late afternoon, when sunoo sits you down, telling you he had something to tell you, the last the you expected to hear was his confession to you. he expressed how much he loves being with you and how he didn't want to ruin your friendship if you didn't feel the same, he just needed to let you know. smiling at him, you let him know how head over heels you are for him too and now you two can proudly confirm whenever someone asks if you two are dating.

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

jungwon was the student body president so he was the obvious choice to go to when you needed some extra help in your bio class. he was so sweet about it and totally understood your situation, and agreed to tutoring you. the first month was amazing as you could already see an improvement in your grade! but you also noticed how your heart would start beating 10x faster when jungwon was around you. you admired his stunning face so often that you could draw it with your eyes closed. what you didn't know was that jungwon was also feeling the same way about you as you were him. it made him slightly nervous due to the fact that he had never felt this way before. after consulting his friends, he mustered up some courage to buy some flowers and ask you out on a date, old fashioned style. when you opened your door, you definitely did not expect to see jungwon there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. "oh! uhh i prepared what i was gonna say but i think i just forgot it all. whatever, i'll just say it. i like you y/n and it's okay with you, i was wondering if you wanted to go on a date?...with me?" he asked nervously. it was safe to say that it was the best date you have ever been on.

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

we all know that ni-ki is not a school person whatsoever. so it isn't a shocker when the professor tells him he has a new tutor waiting for him in the library. you had no idea that you were gonna be tutoring your middle-school crush and to be honest, it made you want to dig a hole and cry in it. ni-ki made you nervous whenever he was around so you had no idea how you were gonna tutor him for the rest of the semester. he was such a flirt with you and it definitely did not help your crush on him at all. ni-ki had also been going through a bit of a crisis because why was he suddenly feeling butterflies in his stomach whenever he would see you? what spell did you cast on him? your tutoring sessions had just convinced ni-ki further that he had fallen into you game of love because he could not focus on the work anymore, preferring to study you flawless face instead. one evening, ni-ki and you were having a late session when he suddenly looked at you. "what? do i have something on my face?" you asked, confused. "uhh n-no i just- i- ugh. i like you y/n. all of these tutoring sessions have made me realize that and i just needed to get it off my chest." he sighed, looking away and you swear you saw a dust of pink on his cheeks. "aww ni-ki..." you smile. "don't tell anyone, but i think i have a crush on you too," you whisper. thank god for these tutoring sessions, cause now nishimura riki has the most perfect girl in the world.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂ

i'm sorry this one came out so late >.< i promise to try and post them a little earlier next time! tysm to @kpislby for the wonderful inspo for the fic!! reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated! <3

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - The Scheme

I am back!

More RealAgeAU. With the baby <3 Hey @spotaus get in here :D

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*----------------*

Cross walks from side to side “This is bad. This is very bad.” Cross even flickers in and out of view.

Dust holds out an arm and catches Cross by the arm before pulling him to sit next to him on the ground. Nightmare notices what Dust wants and climbs from his lap into Cross’s lap.

Dust watches as Cross snuggles their babybones and relaxes a little.

Dust nods and focusses back on what Error had shared with them.

Only to see that Dream is also close to a panic attack. Great.

Dream tugs on his own hands as he rambles “Fate and Balance are too dangerous! They will try to force Nightmare to change his domain. They already tried with me but with me being so well known and seeing as I already told everyone they knew it would attract too much attention if they made me change…”

Error groans as he sighs “Yes. I know. It is why I called for this meeting.”

The meeting being in some random AU with them, Error, Dream and Blue.

Blue pulls Dream near and puts an arm around his shoulders “Hey it will be fine. Error already hid where they are hiding and only us two know he is even alive.”

Dream shakes his skull “They just need to start checking universes. As soon as they find the right one they will know he is there. And notice Error’s meddling.”

Nightmare shoots Error a worried look but Error just shrugs “I will be fine. Balance already hates me anyway.” Nightmare does not look happy as he glances at Dust.

Dust frowns “They will just know? how?”

Dream searches for the right words “It is a god thing… if we are in a universe we can notice fellow gods or stuff changed by gods. It is why Nightmare and I could always sense each other.”

Killer tilts his skull “Seriously? I thought that was just a twin thing?”

Nightmare shakes his skull “No it was a god thing.”

Killer huh’s and looks off into the distance.

Horror frowns as he thinks “Meaning we can’t just keep hiding?”

Error shrugs as he looks to the side “I changed the universe code and makeup enough to make it unable to be found unless you make a very specific jump. The problem is that sometimes some gods can override bans placed by other gods.” He mutters softer “well… one exception with some very complicated and specific scenarios.”

Dust shoots Error a look “Can we copy that?” If they can do that maybe they can continue being relaxed here. Relax as they watch Nightmare develop his newly developing powers.

Error shakes his skull “Not without messing around with the save files, load files, reset files and save states.” He just shakes his skull at the looks everyone sends him “don’t ask how the guy made that mess work for himself.”

Dream looks at him worried “There has to be something we can do!”

Dust blinks as he feels a tug on his hoody. He looks to the side and sees nothing so he sighs “Cross. Visible please.”

A moment before Cross, and Nightmare, reappear again. Cross looks embarrassed. Nightmare however looks smug “We do what Dream did.”

Dust turns to Nightmare “What do you mean?” the silence around them is loud.

Nightmare nods “Dream says they can’t influence him because they know forcing him to change will attract attention. They don’t like being known. There is a reason people thought Error and I were the reason for all the bad stuff. Because they want us to be the face. They don’t want to be held responsible.”

Dust sees where he is going with this and doesn’t like it “Nightmare… please tell me you aren’t thinking what I think you are thinking.”

Nightmare keeps looking smug “We should reintroduce me.”

The loud and in sync shouting of No’s even surprises Dust as Cross after his own shout just holds Nightmare closer.

Killer sits down next to them “No. Nuh-uh. We aren’t doing that. Ever.”

Nightmare frowns “But we need to? If we don’t Fate or Balance will eventually find us.” He huffs as he crosses his arms “I like my domain but I can’t exactly use it to attack in anyway.”

Cross just holds him close and nuzzles his skull “We will defend you!”

Nightmare frowns “You guys are strong but…”

Error sighs “Fate and Balance are a league on their own… It is how they can just decide and change domains after all.” he sighs and shakes his skull “I don’t meet them a lot but lets say that near the start they made it clear what my domain entitled.”

Dust frowns and reconsiders some things. He never truly considered how Error ended up picking his domain. How Nightmare even knew what his entitled… If there are these much stronger beings around…

Horror must had made the same conclusion as he shoots Nightmare a look “what was your idea?”

Nightmare smiles a tiny bit as he speaks “We start reintroducing me. We start obviously with the safest options first and work from there. Then by the time they find us, it will be too late and old news and changing my domain will be too suspicious for them to do.”

Dream looks unhappy “Who would we reintroduce you to first?”

Nightmare grins with a knowing smile.

----

Reaper frowns as he floats from side to side in the beautiful garden. Careful not to touch anything.

Life giggles “I think you are worrying for nothing old friend.”

Reaper groans “I don’t like this. are you sure about this? I can still change the location and we can skip this meeting.”

Life shakes his face and looks excited “Reaper. Hearing that Dream and Error want to meet us about something very special? With special guests? Of course I want to meet them.”

Reaper frowns as he looks around nervously “If people find out I knew where you were…”

Life shrugs as she makes her tea “Balance already knows either way. She knew before you did. They never told anyone either. Meaning in the end others not knowing isn’t that dangerous.”

Reaper sighs as he floats over to grab his own tea to drink “I still worry…”

Life nods “I know. You worry too much.” She grins at him teasing “So how is your secret beau?”

Reaper shoots her a look “Don’t start.”

Life giggles and hums a happy tune “You can hardly blame me. It is very rare you truly connect with someone.”

Reaper sighs as he rubs his neck “Don’t start.”

Life giggles before both of them look up as they notice the change in the air. New people have entered this hidden space.

Reaper and Life look out and hear a voice which Reaper knows is Error.

“Life generally is in this area by the blossom trees. I can only assume she and Reaper will be there.”

Reaper knows they both are listening for any other voices.

“Life just… hangs around here? Doesn’t that get boring?”

Reaper is still slightly shocked to hear Killer. He knew there was going to be a special guest but still.

Reaper knew that Error knew where Nightmare was and that means that he would knew where the gang is but still… it shocks him.

It only takes a moment before Error walks into view and he grins “See? found them.” and he continues leading the way. Dream is nearby with Blue as Killer walks in after them with Dust and Horror close behind.

Reaper frowns as he notes the obvious absent Cross and Nightmare but well… it is something.

Error leads them over as Life stands up herself with a small smile “It is a pleasure to finally see the faces of those who are the center of much talk around our universes.”

Reaper snorts as he sees all of them look sheepishly away.

Dream rubs his cheek “It is nice to finally get to meet you Life… I have heard much about you… Thank you for allowing us to visit you in your home!”

Killer rolls his sockets and copies his voice but softer and Dream does not even turn around or drop his smile as he kicks behind him and hits Killer’s shin.

Life smiles amused “Oh that is alright. I must say I was very curious about the fact that you wished to meet us.” And she waits.

Dream looks nervously at Error and Killer before looking to the side.

Error raises his brow at Killer and crosses his arms “Well?”

Killer shoots Horror and Dust a look. Dust nods to him and Killer turns to them with a smile “What can I say? We needed some time to relax and figure stuff out but now we are more than ready to continue on! Foremost.” He grins “Cross?”

Silence.

Killer sighs and turns around as he looks into the nothing “Cross I know you are there. Stop hiding the two of you.”

A very unhappy mutter.

Reaper blinks confused. He hadn’t even sensed Cross… How… Reaper glances at Life and Life looks shocked herself.

Reaper can understand him not noticing someone but this is Life’s realm. Her home. Made of her magic. How had she not noticed someone entering?

Killer glares and crosses his arms “Cross. We are here to reintroduce him.”

Cross grumbles unhappily but appears and-

Reaper stares and his mind blanks.

Nightmare is looking up at Cross highly amused before turning to Killer and holding out two arms. Killer easily takes him over before walking closer to Life and Reaper. Cross makes a wounded sound and hurries after Killer.

Killer grins as he proudly holds Nightmare up “Meet! Nightmare! God is restoration!”

Nightmare grins and raises a tiny tiny arm in a wave “hi.”

Oh shit even his voice is young and what even is this?!

Life coos and before Reaper can blink she is suddenly holding Nightmare and holding him close “Oh you are just adorable. No wonder they hid with you and kept the multiverse away from you.” she smiles happily at the panicked looking skeletons “Well? Are you all coming? I will make us a meal and we will talk about all that happened.” She nuzzles the tiny skull with a happy hum “Oh tiny skeletons are just too cute. I will make sure to make something you like. Do you have any favourites?”

Nightmare just stares at her confused as he shoots the other skeletons a helpless look.

Horror walks over and speaks calmly “His magic is still resettling and he can’t always eat everything…”

Life shoots him a look and nods “I understand.” He grabs hold of Horror and pulls him along too as she floats towards another part of her area “I assume you know about his diet? Come along we will prepare some for all of you.” she raises her voice and aims it at the others “Get comfortable! We will be right back.” And they disappear behind some bushes.

Killer slowly tilts his skull “… did that god just steal our mate and babybones?”

Dust looks after where they disappeared himself “I am honestly not sure…” he shoots Error a glare “I thought you said Life would be fine to be introduced to?”

Error huffs “Because she is?” he rubs the back of his neck “I guess it makes sense… she is the goddess of life. Of course she gets excited at the sight of children… I think she will eventually give him back to you guys…”

Cross is glaring into the distance “She better or I will not be held responsible for what I will do.”

Killer and Dust both look highly amused.

Reaper finally finds his voice “Why is Nightmare tiny?”

The others actually look at him and Blue grins widely “You got like two hours? It is a long story.”

Dream laughs and nods “I can only assume we have enough time before Life returns with Nightmare and Horror.”

Cross huffs “You guys explain.” He disappears from view, and Reaper suddenly can’t feel his lifeforce anymore.

Killer grins “Have fun hunting and stalking love! See you in a bit!”

Dust takes a seat in a chair and grins “Ready for a short explanation?”

Reaper nods and gets ready. He has no doubt this will be quite the tale.

*----------------*

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[door-insurance]

So I played Life is Strange 2 for the first time ever

I didn’t wanna play it for a long time not cause it didn’t have Chloe or max (tbh I got sick of their asses around BtS they’re not even my faves)

By that point I was in college and had lost interest in the whole franchise but also I was very apprehensive of white creatives writing racism with no input from the group they’re portraying, they don’t usually do a good job

Sometimes they make it cartoony, sometimes they trivialize it, sometimes they romanticize it

So years later adulthood kicked my ass and I came back crawling to this franchise for some comfort, I finished True colors annnnd I finally started 2 after hesitating annnnd

^sketched this while playing

SPOILERS

I actually liked it

I liked Sean, the drawing segment he does- he was such a likable main guy, deserved better honestly.

I also liked Daniel, he was very adorable and I never got it when people called him annoying like no shit the 9 year old is gonna act like a 9 year old- just don’t be a jerk to him, I know he can be frustrating but that’s what taking care of a kid is like

And lis had always been about realistic complex characters, y’all can’t handle a traumatized nine year?

I have two younger siblings and two nieces plus I’ve been a bratty younger sibling to two older sisters

Maybe I’m just used to it?? But honestly Daniel wasn’t that bad

The racism portrayal in the first few episodes was not all that cartoony and it actually felt real at times, like I can check for American news rn and find stories similar to what you see in episodes 1-3 (minus the telekinesis)

Although the gas station racist hick spouting trump slogans was a bit on the nose, it’s more of dialogue thing

Some people thought the gas station detainment was egregious but it can happen unfortunately, especially to vulnerable people in rural areas and by someone of a higher systematic advantage

One other thing I did not like was the love interests, I thought Finn and Cassidy were alright characters on their own but why do we need romance in this game where the protagonists are always on the run?

I don’t like to compare lis 1 to 2 but when it comes to the romance the former did a better job as it spent more time establishing it, plus max stayed in the same place for the majority of the game- but you know what? Sean doesn’t have to be in a relationship right? It can be a one off thing, that’s fine

Which brings me to my next point

How old are Cassidy and Finn?

Cause Sean is still 16 and no, being on the road didn’t mentally age him- he’s not “mature” for his age

He is still a kid

So for some reason Dontnod never really specified their ages but some articles described them as teens (they look 30 to me) and they can be around 18 right? Their lives are hard stress ages you- it happens, we can with live that, it’s just a two years difference

But teens or not

why did they animate a whole knocking the boots scene???

Of all the games in the series, the only one that gets a sex scene is the one with the much younger protagonist and his ambiguously aged older looking love interest and I think it’s only with Cassidy you get to do it in the tent

Alex Chen was robbed of a on screen booty call from a beanie wearing lesbian with a sexy radio voice or a buff ass Adonis of a man who was Smokey the bear’s regional manager or something

Anyways I’m gonna move on I’m uncomfortable lmao

*im not hating on people who ship Sean with either Finn or Cassidy, I’m not even tagging your ship names- im just stating my personal preferences on my blog

One last thing I did not like about LiS 2 and it was the one thing that kept me from playing it for years

That one scene from episode 4

So at this point Sean Diaz went through the following:

-lost his father, had to abandoned his loved ones, education and home

-was accused of killing a cop

-had to take care of his little brother on his own while on the run, the same brother with telekinesis and none of them know how to control it

-was harassed, beaten then detained by a racist white man

-had to take refuge in an abandoned cabin with little resources

-the dog that they adopted at the gas station eventually gets mauled

-the one time they found solace at their grandparents house they had to leave abruptly cause the police was hot on their trail

-on their way out they can potentially witness the neighbors kid that they befriended get hit by the police car that’s chasing them

-they find shelter at a nomad campground but oh no they get involved with drug trafficking cause they barely have any other options to make money (unfortunately this happens a lot IRL this isnt egregious)

-Sean now has to deal with the trafficking, making sure that Daniel doesn’t get into any trouble with his powers while fake ass giancarlo esposito is breathing down his neck

-and guess what happens next… Daniel gets robbed into pulling a heist on temu gus fring and it goes badly, Sean can potentially lose a love interest/friend in Finn

-Sean gets hurt, Daniel goes so mad that he blows the whole place up; a shard glass flies into Sean’s eye and he ends up losing it

- Sean wakes up from a coma and learns that his brother is missing and he’s about to be taken to jail

- the one thing that consistently brought him joy during this trip was his art and because of the missing eye he can’t even do it the same anymore cause it hurts now

- Sean has to escape the hospital with a hot wired car, little money and has to drive across two states just to get to his brother

-on the way he dreams of his father, he wants him back he wants his old life back but that’s not gonna happen so he has to move forward

Im not listing all this as examples of bad story telling, a lot of these are real life experiences of homeless people. im just painting a picture of the shit that Sean had went through so far

Cause right after the dream sequence, Dontnod didn’t think all that was enough no you had to see Sean get hate crimed by two lifetime movie, sitcom special of the week racists- be made to either sing or suffer a brutal beating

It added nothing to the plot, it didn’t need a choice system either- it’s a hate crime, you’re not asking Joyce for fucking pancakes or eggs n bacon at the whales diner or hosing down Lisa the fckin plant.

This to me went straight to trauma p*rn category, it’s wheelchair Chloe all over again

I hated it then in LiS 1 and I hated now in LiS 2, this is why I don’t dick ride Dontnod that often

They always had this tendency right before the end they single out a particular character and mentally whip them, they become the writing teams punching bag- they think we didn’t get it the first time that this character is going through it, they just hammer it in with the subtlety of a heart attack and I hate it

“Yeah but it’s there to show Sean’s resolve to find Daniel-“

HE ESCAPED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND THE FEDS, HE HOT WIRED A CAR TO DRIVE ACROSS TWO STATES

He’s starving, dehydrated, suffering from chronic pain

That’s enough

Let the character breathe

You ask why not a lot of people wanna play this game and I’m gonna tell you, as much I enjoyed it myself it’s not an easy game to play- it gets brutal, especially right around the end

I’m not against bleakness or extreme conflict, I’m into that but sometimes that doesn’t translate well to any gaming format- especially a choices matter game that’s meant to be replayed

Some people have asinine reasons not to play LiS 2 like it dealing with racism and those people suck, lis had always dealt with progressive themes like calling out objectification, cyberbullying and sl*tshaming

Racism shouldn’t be the exemption

but misuse of racial trauma and not knowing when it’s appropriate to invoke it is a huge turn off and hella triggering to a lot of non white players and I remember when LiS 2 dropped I’ve seen (mostly white) lis fans at the time proclaiming that not wanting to play it meant that you were racist

Like I said there were probably racists who didn’t wanna touch the games cause of the main characters skin but there were people like me who were apprehensive of the “Let’s go to the mosh pit Shaka brah” people handling racism

This is the same studio that had Ms Grant (one of the few black characters from LiS 1) claim that the white settlers peacefully shared the stolen land with the native Americans

I find that shit harder to believe than the time traveling powers

And they were doing alright in the first episodes they covered stuff like unconscious biases slipping through, dog whistles, polite racism from the grandparents segment, police brutality, racial profiling and being targeted/othered- some of these things I went through when I visited western countries

Then they did the bullshit I feared theyd do…

I really don’t blame myself for being hyper vigilant at the time and honestly I was going through a lot then, even if I wanted to I wouldn’t have touched LiS 2 cause it’s a very heavy tasking game to play

I know I kinda made it seem like I didn’t like this game but I did, its the best one in terms of the choice system

It had more weight to it, seeing Daniel internalizing what you say to him or how you act around him was so cool

Also what the second game has over the first one aside from the choices system is the ending selection- I never liked picking the endings for max, I wanted her to pick the ending or her coding/script to do that

Its definitely more fleshed out technically even though LiS 1 has a special place in my heart it’s always gonna be no. 1- but im also glad that I got to experience the 2nd game for the first time, I liked it

Personal lis ranking

1: Lis 1

2: Lis 2

3: True colors

Discount bin: BtS

My personal fave moments from LiS 2:

- beating up the racist bully and giving him a concussion

-mushroom (rip icon)

- victorias letter

-winning that that bear from that claw machine

-gorillaz song that was not feel good inc

-Brody pointing at a fucked up looking arcadia bay yelling “that’s the past!”- that was hilarious

-Sean paying tribute to Arcadia bay in his sketchbook (this fucking kid man, he’s so sweet he deserves the world- what did he do to make DONTNOD mad at him)

- the wolf animation and the story that plays before every chapter

-this was the worst hate crime in the whole game

[interstellarrisa]

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ Quotes to keep in mind 𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋

a/n: these are just things that i like to keep in mind whilst manifesting/shifting and is not something you must do! also if you recognize your or someone else's quote/saying, pls dm or comment so that i can give credits!!! (i'm sleepy so sorry for any mistakes or if things don't rlly make sense -o-)

# Nothing needs to be harder than it sounds

It's just as you read. You don't need to make it any harder by adding complicating methods or trying to reprogram your subconscious. Decide, imagine and persist is all there is. You can decide how you'll do the "imagine" part. You can affirm, visualize, script or listen to subliminal. Do whatever you want, it's you manifesting it but I don't really recommend adding in unnecessary things as things can get tangled up and make you feel like you're doing anything except "getting" your manifestation.

# Imagination is the true reality

You've probably heard this like a thousand times but if you just think about it, if imagination is the true reality then why try to get it in the physical one? Since I can just imagine it and have it there and eventually it'll materialize. Also why struggle with it inside your imagination? Just as when some people when they were younger used to have imaginary friends. Just because they didn't see their friends body in the physical reality or that others couldn't see them did not mean they never existed. They did, just in that child's imagination and that's what matters. Having it in your mind and believing in yourself. Affirming this helps me with feeling fulfilled internally.

# Observe don't absorb

I really like this one cause like this is how I usually manifest away bad circumstances. Even if the 3D is right up in my face and is unavoidable I'll keep a idgaf mindset and continue on not taking it in as final or that it can't be changed. Nothing's set in stone, not even reality. If you don't like it just change it. There's no need to take the bad things as final. Know who you are and do your thing! At nighttime sometimes when we fall asleep random thoughts will pop up and pass us by, do you pay attention to every single thought? Do you react to every single one of those or think more deeply about them? Just as we observe those thoughts passing us by we should also observe reality. As a movie we're watching on our TV and if we don't like it we just switch to another one. Not get up and start screaming about how it's bad and that it's not the one we want to watch. Just switch movie.

Thank you for reading, good luck with your manifesting/shifting and bye!!<3

art cred @ CHIARA63710634 @ mors_gn @ riiein (all on twt)

[eri-pl]

Liking the Silm while being Polish feels strange.

Or at least maybe because I'm old and I had to read many books in school and I have this mental image of Poland (not poiltically! but in terms of literature, poetry, some philosophical vibe) as this fuzzy hybrid between "Soviet Russia" and "normal world", and Russia is, in relation to the legendarium, very particular. They are the Easterlings, we are the Easterlings, we are the orcs or not much better.

And there's that whole thing with Russia being the center of what I would call "subversive Tolkien fandom", things like hardcore Dark Lord fans, things like The Last Ringbearer and as I recently learned "The Black Book of Arda is a thing" and I keep wondering: is this because of the "you are the Easterlings" feeling that Tolkien gives people, or is it because something bigger in the cultural vibes (Bułhakov!!!) or is it both. Or some other cause that is the root cause of all those above (communism, maybe? In this case, again, we hera in Poland are also touched by the Shadow ;) )

And I have this dizzy, disorienting feeling where I can see both, it just depends on what you map to what.

At the end of the day I like Tolkien and respect his intent (mostly), because I feel like he tried to respect people and did not intent to paint East europeans as evil, it just sort of happenned, but if you asked him, he would protest on that reading.

(And I do like most of what he was trying to do. This too.)

But yea, my geographic location and set of lectures in high school is part of how I explain to myself why I do like Morgoth despite him being quite objectively unlikeable. Probably falsely. Still, it is interesting.

Also I am still a little mad for making the Easterlings the bad guys. And for a few other things. But it's ok. Also at least we have Bór. Also we'll see.

Anyway it feels strange sometimes.

[tismtron]

“What would they be like if they had a boyfriend?”

Warnings: angst, mentions of smut, use of words faggot, homophobia, situationships, most of these headcanons are unhealthy asf.

Reader: male AMAB

Pete Dinunzio

•Pete would keep your relationship very down low. It’s nothing like shame or internalized homophobia in his case, it’s to protect himself and you from the club.

•will the club beat the shit out of you for being gay, no?..will the deprecate and degrade you about it until your six feet under because their insecure teenage boys? Yes of course. And Pete knows this.

•Behind closed doors and out of the public eye he’s tender and loving. Binged horror movies with you even if you can handle them or not, thinking that you would get so scared of the movie, you’ll cling onto him as he embraces you type of trope.

•will bring you things from he was hanging out with the club like a cat bringing its owner what it found. In both cases being small dead animals and you gotta explain to this man why you don’t want nor can keep roadkill in your bedroom.

•If he’s shorter than you he would get a complex and always try to prove to you that he’s the macho man of the relationship eve if you told him that you don’t think any less of him because of his height. Although bringing up his height at all brings fuel to the fire. When just the two of y’all go on dates he will rap his hand around your waist while you’re watching a slasher at the movies.

•this guy is inexperienced in relationships like the rest of the virgin club and tries to get advice from horror flicks.

•He calls people faggot derogatory while infact being one of the himself.

•Pete does genuinely love you but he wants to be sure that you’re safe from the club.

Jerry Stokes

•Jerry is a sweetheart but the club find out sooner or later cause for one; Jerry is a bad liar, and two they snoop on each other if one of them misses a meeting. And when they say Jerry holding hands with a boy they didn’t know what to think.

•Jerry is neurodivergent. You know this. You’re aware of his vocal stims, hyper fixation on fantasy, and stims with his hands and body when gets worked up or excited about something.

•when you come over he’s over the moon the see you, but he has to hide you from his parents aswell cause I think his parents are more conservative.

•sometimes when the two of you make out or get intimate he vocally stims and he got so embarrassed but you said he was ok.

•the club clowns on him about it when they found out saying things like. “Now we see why you like fantasy you fucking fairy.” And calling him a fag when he tries to be the voice of reason to their dumb ideas.

•He doesn’t let you near the club because he doesn’t want you to think less of him or he’s friends to dog on you like they do to him.

•please let him rant on for hours about his fantasy games and movies and he’ll love you forever.

Bill Dicky

•Internalized Homophobia in the most incel way possible. He will date you but degrade you to push himself up on his ego. Will not do any pda or nickmaes in public, almost as if you two aren’t dating at all.

•But behind closed doors it’s very different. He’s never had a partner, so he can take what he can get, but got thrown in a loop when you were a guy. If he really likes you he’ll be more closer to you by standing next to you and talking to you more than others.

•Bill is a very insecure man. So when you started dating him he used you as reassurance that he’s a good person, and if you point out something he did that’s clearly wrong he will get so defensive.

•His mom knows about your relationship and is surprisingly okay with it. His younger sister actually thinks you would help Bill get better in some way or at least more tolerable to be around.

•he whimpers (WHO SAID THAT)

Josh Levvy

•Josh like the rest keeps your relationship more private. Mostly out of shame of being gay himself than you.

•His parents are Jewish and very religious. Josh is more willing to show you to his parents than his friends. His mom calls you a Sheigtez and Josh would fight for you and stand up for a you against his mom whether you want him to or not.

•The most odd conversations with Josh will mean the world to him. Y’all can be talking about nothing and Josh would cherish the moment.

•For his short temper he has a very low self esteem. The fact anyone is dating him makes him question why him of all people.

•will talk your ear off about Star Wars,Star trek, DC, you name it. And when he shows you his collection and lets you touch them you know your in deep with him.

[outrunningthedark]

I think what all the "well, Oliver can´t win" people refuse to acknowldge is the fact that the problem here is not Oliver´s being silent on SM- because he most definetly is not. If he would go comepletely silent people would probably applaud him. But he takes care to put out something Eddie, Ryan or Buddie related quite regularly and everytime someone points this out you have a bunch of people on here rushing out the "well, Buddie are friends! it´s not his problem people read into it" defence. Ok? And Buck and Tommy are dating so were are those posts? How BoBs interpret his posts is not the issue here. The issue is that a lot of people get the feeling that Oliver seems extremly concerend with not offending a certain subset of this fandom after talking a great deal right after the kiss episode aired. And his efforts to not rock the boat don´t include just not posting Buck/Tommy stuff but actively going the other direction sometimes and throwing Buddie stuff out there. I don´t understand why people aren´t allowed to side eye this behaviour?

I think the people within our own side of fandom (I’m not trying to be disrespectful. I just don’t agree.) who are making excuses for what Oliver does are trying to go out of their way not to act like Buddies or in a way that can be compared to Buddies, tbh.

I mean, we see what happens every time someone tries to make a “both sides are bad” argument - they’re comparing sending death threats with posting a screenshot because “Tim mentioned both” or BuckTommy shippers being called racial and homophobic slurs with “BoBs” (which just means people who won’t accept anything but Buddie).

So if you’re 100% in Oliver’s corner on your page? Regardless of how you may feel in private? Well then you’re not part of the problem.

Maybe it’s the fact that I remember life before social media blew up. Maybe it’s because I most definitely got exposed to shitty behavior directed at me very early in life because of my circumstances and not because I got famous.

But I have very little patience for a grown ass man in his position letting teenagers get to him.

He chooses to be on social media. He chooses to operate his own account (apparently).

Don’t make a big deal about playing a queer character (for the second time, mind you; there was an incident pre-s7 where he told a homophobic fan he’d be proud to play a gay character) if you weren’t gonna be able to handle whatever negativity you KNEW was coming your way.

You know what Tim did when the social media stuff got too toxic? He stopped looking at it. Maybe Oliver should use that whole social media manager thing to his advantage while he has it 😉

[calliecwrites]

Pretending

Sometimes pretending to be a person is easy. Sometimes it isn’t. On the bad days, numbers start crawling on the page, straight lines curl, and I’ve got to remind myself to keep my face on. I want to stretch my other limbs, but the world down here is so thin, and so easy to tear. I have to be careful not to think too hard about anything, or it might start seeping through. You have no idea how much power you have, someone told me once, being able to create with a thought. And the children of my mind look too much like madness to humans.

Cases of madness worldwide are 1.3% higher on days like that.

But I don’t want to drive them mad. I’m here to protect them, not devour them. Not this time. So I have to pretend. Though with some of them practically throwing themselves at me, that isn’t always easy.

Writers are the worst. I let my ‘pretending to be a person is hard’ line slip into the coffee I’m nursing while my head pounds with the effort of keeping it all together, and her only response is, “Yeah, I know.”

“‘A writer is a world pretending to be a person’,” she quotes at me, and then, “That’s a deliberate misquote of something Victor Hugo said: ‘A writer is a world trapped in a person’. But I like my version better. If my soul wasn’t in a human-shaped body, sometimes I think I’d turn into a galaxy or something. Or maybe more than that. A multiverse.”

Humans are famously good at detecting things that don’t quite look human. I’m not doing a particularly good job of staying out of the uncanny valley today, but she doesn’t seem to have noticed. Or, worse, she’s noticed and likes it. Writers are like that sometimes. But I’ve been deliberately staying out of her mind. I can tell it’s twisty and complex, and I’m afraid the slightest touch from me would tip her over into madness. Or, who knows, maybe she’s right, and it would trigger her transformation into some kind of eldritch goddess that would put even me to shame. I don’t want to think about what that would do to the paper-thin world down here.

I’ve been so focused on my coffee, I’ve accidentally created another one. She hasn’t noticed.

“I do wonder what being a person is actually like, though,” she goes on. “You know, actually fitting in with all the weird rules humans have. Actually feeling at home here. And most of them only get to live one life, not all the fragments of all the lives we get to. Imagine that. They’ll never know what it’s like, being able to create with a thought.”

That last part hits too close to home, and I can’t resist taking just one quick peek into her mind.

“Oh, hello,” she says, and looks me in the eye.

I withdraw. No way she should have been able to feel that. And what I saw there – she’s practically a multiverse already, all jammed up there somehow into that tiny human brain.

“I always wondered if telepathy’s real,” she’s saying, “and now you’ve gone and proven it. Do that again, so I can see how you did it.”

No way, I’m not risking that – but she fumbles around and somehow does it anyway.

“There you are!” she says. I twitch back into my defences – why does this have to be happening on a day like this, when I’m barely holding it together anyway? The writing on the menu twists and curls, and customers start walking in circles. This time she notices.

“Ooh, eldritch abomination, is it?” she says. “Here, let me try.”

She squints, and now she’s holding another coffee, too. She takes a sip. “Mmm, just like in my dreams.”

Then she’s looking at me. Not just at my rapidly-slipping human disguise, but really looking at me, all the parts that no human should ever be able to see. But I don’t think she’s human anymore – I think she’s been right at that boundary for a while.

“You know, you really should pay more attention to that,” she says. “I find pretending is much easier if I do something like this—” and she does something, and my own human form snaps back into clarity. “There you go. Get those few things right and most people won’t even notice.”

Meanwhile, her own form is becoming more solid. That’s the only way I can describe it. Soon she’ll be so solid that her slightest movement will tear right through reality like tissue paper.

“Be careful,” I say, “you’re new to this, and this world is fragile—”

But it’s too late. She twitches in just the wrong way, and something tears.

Now everything is inverting. Everything that was packed up tightly inside her brain is becoming outside. The whole world is reforming around us, into one she considers home. I’m unaffected, but the humans are being completely rewritten.

“Hmm,” she muses, observing all the worlds at once. “Looks like I was right about myself.”

And she sees my dismayed expression. Avoiding something like this is exactly why I was being so careful down here. So much for that.

“Don’t worry,” she says, and gives me a reassuring pat somewhere in the fourth dimension. “There’s more than enough room in me for everyone.”

I really like that quote she uses, and use it myself. This story came from thinking - what if it was literally true, and not just a metaphor?

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@avery-victoria-winterlight @dierotenixe @leahnardo-da-veggie @lunadook @mint-and-authoress

@sandyca5tle @scrubbinn @theriomythic-lesbian @void-botanist @wuwojiti

@zzzestyy

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[horrorwebs]

i hate my best friend earlier i was like "im scared that this guy likes me bc he said something that i would only say to people who i like, but i recognize thats its a normal ass thing to say anyway and i rationally know he does not like me, but still, my brain decided to play with that concept and made me have a terrible nightmare the other night about it and now im subconsciously scared that he will like me ( with the underlying concept of "i am scared of men")" and shell go ohohioo what if youre projecting and its actually YOU that likes him. ????? bitch did you not hear the part about having a dream where he abused me or ...?sometimes being asexual is a nightmare nobody gets it

[isekyaaa]

If you don't know me well and you've heard my opinions abt people talking shit, I probably seem like the person that enjoys talking shit about others. To which the truth of the matter is that I don't. Tbh, I feel I do something worse. When I talk about a person to someone else, I break them down from the bottom up by analyzing what makes them so irritating, but also what makes them so great, and I share that analysis with the person I'm talking to. It quickly escalates to bringing up a person's personal issues, traumas, insecurities, etc, and analyzing them under a lens.

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[rosedpetal]

Behave

Summary: Bucky shows you what happens when you test him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: smut.

Minors, do not interact.

Masterlist

You didn't mean to be so overbearing, but you just loved him so much.

"Doll, you have to stop giving the stinky eye to these women. It's getting embarrassing." He whispered on your ear, his grip tightening just a little bit on your arm as he smiled for the people schmoozing at Tony's gala event. "Seriously, when did you get so jealous?"

"Jealous?" You scoff, adjusting the skirt of your long dress, softening the slightly wrinkled fabric. "Barely. I just wish you didn't look so smug with all those single bitches fawning over you."

"In my time, we used to call them spinsters." Bucky raised his eyebrow at you.

"Well, that's just sexist."

"And calling them bitches is not?"

Your glare made him shut his mouth, a little smirk threatening to tug at the corner of his lips.

"I get it, okay? I'm being too much. It's just that I'm so obsessed with you. Why can't I just be one of those wives who barely wait for their husbands to drop dead?" You sighed, adjusting his tie.

He chuckles, a low rumble reverberating through his chest. He trapped your chin between his thumb and index finger, amused at you. "You're crazy, you know that? But it's okay. Your psycho side is almost as cute as your clingy and needy one."

You roll your eyes. "Gotta admit, though. You looked really hot over there talking to them and signing autographs and all. If I didn't want to stab your guts off, I'd be horny... " You paused. "Okay. I'm horny either way."

"Behave." Bucky hissed, looking around to see if anyone was paying attention to the two of you. At the sound of your little crazed giggle, he snapped his head back to you. "How much have you had to drink, by the way?"

"I didn't drink that much. I don't know what's taken over me, okay? You're just... Ugh!" You groaned, and Bucky blinked, a little taken aback. "You're hot. Are you taken?" You playfully bat your eyelashes at him and he chuckles.

"Well, I do have a wife. But she's quite small, so I think you can take me from her if you want to." He smirked, rubbing circles on the small of your back.

"Ugh, you're married? I bet she's a fucking witch."

Bucky shakes his head, getting his lips close to your ear. "Honestly... My wife is quite crazy. Sometimes I'm scared at how unhinged she can be when she's jealous."

"Is she hot, though?"

"Oh... She's so hot. Just thinking of her has me feeling all types of way... But she's also quite needy. It gets on my fucking nerves. I swear, that woman could drop on her knees to beg for my attention."

"Is begging the only good thing she can do on her knees, though?" You purr.

Bucky checks again for any nosy listeners, relaxing a bit as he realizes you're too are safe.

"Well... She also prays really well, just like a good girl should."

Your could feel your gaze becoming a little unfocused, your core warming up. "I wanna choke you so bad."

Bucky's face and neck turn a little red. "Jesus, baby. What has gotten into you tonight? Is it all because I dressed up?"

"Maybe. Do you think it's possible for humans do go into heat?"

"Oh. I don't know, are you?"

"Breed me. Breed me. Breed me." You chanted on his ear, and his grip on your hips tightened almost painfully.

"Stop right this second." He hisses. "I do not need this right now. Are you trying to get me hard in public, you little shit?"

"Is it working?"

"You're going to pay for this."

"Are you gonna give me your belt tonight?"

"Y/N-"

"What? Is this too kinky for you? Is the idea of marking my ass with your leather belt too much for your poor brain to handle right now, baby?"

Bucky closes his eyes, fists clenching on his sides. Then, he grabs you by your waist, pulling you to the nearest room he could find.

He swiftly unlocks the door, assessing the small supply closet you two are in. It's not ideal, but it'll be enough. His hand fly to your throat, pressing on it slightly, eyes darkened with desire, his slacks tight and uncomfortable. "Filthy little tease. You enjoy riling me up, don't you? Do you think you'll get away with this little stunt you just pulled, huh?"

His vibranium hand snakes under your dress through the slit on your thigh, his eyes darkening at how soaked your underwear is. "Tsk. Does being a little slut make you wet, baby?"

You whimper, completely overtaken by lust, his digits teasing your clothed clit. "You can try to give me shit for misbehaving, but you love how obsessed I am with you, isn't that right? You crave my attention. You thrive on how needy I can get for you."

Bucky's eyes darken, the beautiful expansion of his blue irises only getting noticed by you by the moonlight reflecting through the small window.

"You're giving me fucking butterflies, Bucky. What the fuck? Wasn't that supposed to stop after we got married?" Your brows furrow, your indignant tone making a little snicker escape him. He hooks his finger on the waistband of your panties, a sharp tug being enough to rip your underwear.

"I didn't vow to bore you 'til death do us part, doll. I'll never stop making you feel this way." He whispered, gaze softening at you. Time seemed to stop as he inched closer to you, lips brushing against your red painted ones. "I fucking love you, you unhinged little thing."

"Love you too, baby." Your eyes close shut, mouth hanging open as he fingers you in the supply closet, swallowing your moans with his tongue, bucking his hips on your hand as you palm him through the straining fabric.

Reaching down, you swiftly undo his slacks, pulling them low enough just to free his twitching cock, guiding the thick head to your entrance.

With how lubricated you are, he only has to spit on his cock and moisten the length with his hand, a low growl leaving his mouth as he sink on your heat, inch by inch.

There's a moment of silence as you two lock eyes, your weeping pussy welcoming him with a tight grip that he swears it makes him harden, if that's even possible.

Your head falls back with the first shallow thrusts, a small gasp leaving your lips. Bucky's gritting his teeth, pulling you up, your legs wrapping around his middle. Then, he slams into you.

You can't even speak, getting your walls bullied repeatedly by your husband's thick cock. "F-fuck! Bucky, ohmygod, wait!"

He smirks, not slowing down a second. "I told you were gonna pay for being a menace tonight. What's the problem, baby? What happened to the slut who told me to breed her just a few minutes ago? Where is she? Huh?" He circles his hips, buried deep inside you, making you see white. He swats your thigh, his voice rough. "Answer me."

A little, humiliating whine escapes you, and he chuckles again.

"See, baby? How I can fuck the brat out of you? How you should think before riling me up? How you can't back up for your little antics?" His vibranium thumb circles your clit, the coolness of it only serving to make you orgasm quicker.

Bucky moans at your walls clamping violently on him, a grip so deliciously tight it makes him wanna pull his own hair. So he tugs hard at your locks instead, exposing your neck for his greedy lips as he comes inside you.

[heirbane]

(but at the end of the day, even Solus and Zenos are human, too: one who lost their humanity over eons of life and one who may not have ever truly known his own. It does not make how they acted or what they did right: but what they did was to find some crumb of peace, a modicum of remembrance, a splinter of a something. And wanting those is not wrong.)

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.