#and then i heard VOCALS in the music and thought oh shit oh fuck this is a real boss fight

[nightmarist]

Raphael gets big mad if you tell him hes bad at sex

[wuishu]

She's everything. He's just Ken

(I love the Barbie movie so much)

“WHAT THE FUCK? I AM DONE WITH THIS GAME. I don't wanna do this anymore!” he whined while covering his face in frustration. Despite his efforts to work his way out of his enormous debt by streaming another truck sim, he still failed miserably. He was not really angry, he was just putting on a show. He was also getting tired, and doing this stunt made his end stream funnier. 

“Alright, I’m done. I’ll read your donations, and then end stream.”

Finishing his late-night stream, he couldn't wait to just rest with his girlfriend on a couch, watching movies until their eyes fell​​. He sighed and walked towards your recording room. You were currently streaming a game that wasn't a sweat-inducing game, but a chill game. Talking to chat while reading donations, you were getting comfortable when you heard your door open.

“I’m still streaming.” You moved your mic away from your mouth and looked at Schlatt. He hummed, indicating that he heard you. Your relationship was public, but people seeing you together in a stream was new to you. He was different on his channel, the usual crazy, anger-issued guy who has odd humor; he showed your viewer that he’s different when you're together. 

“Hey, Y/N’s chat” He waved his hand at your camera and smile, he found a wooden chair near you and pushed it next to you so they would see him on your stream. The chair was a bit small compared to you, but he still looks bigger. “What are you playing right now?” he asked you, handing him your other bud to let him hear the relaxing background music. 

You slowly swerved your chair, so you could be close to him. “It’s hidden folks. It’s like where's Waldo but listen” You pressed the chest and a man used his voice to imitate the sound of a chest opening. “Oh wow, not weird at all” he smiled

“It’s not weird, I think it’s cute that they're using their vocals for the game” He nodded and looked at your monitor, trying to help you find the things that you needed to win. You on the other hand, watched your chat roll looking at what they thought. He held your hand and moved the mouse to hover over a person. “There, that little shit hiding in the bush.” 

‘Well, you look at that chat. What a helpful man” 

After about half an hour has passed, he was getting so tired of helping you that you gave up and talked to your chat. Slowly he laid his head on your shoulder and also answering some of chats questions. You placed your hand on his hair and patted it like a cat. “Yeah, we wanted to watch the Barbie movie, but our free time rarely collides.” You didn't realize that Schlatt was falling asleep because of how soothing your voice was and how gentle you are at massaging his scalp. 

: Your ken is falling asleep

You slowly looked at your screen that opened your stream. You can see his eyes closed while he is silently snoring. “My ken is asleep… Alright, chat. I think we're gonna head out. I’ll see you guys on Monday,” you whispered. 

You woke Schlatt up to let him know that the stream had ended, he walked to your shared bathroom and started brushing his teeth. After doing everything he needed he lay down, and made himself feel comfortable in bed. You did your nightly routine while scrolling through Twitter, you noticed a screenshot of your stream earlier and a picture of Ken placing his head on Barbie's shoulder and clinging onto her for dear life and the caption was “They're literally Barbie and Ken”. You giggled while brushing your hair.

"Babe, are you awake?” he hummed quietly. You got on the bed and suddenly a hand was wrapped around your waist.

“We should totally watch the new movie Barbie tomorrow.” 

[fuctacles]

The sound of a promise

For @stevieweek Day 6: Queer culture | M | 1997 | Steddie | some gender dysphoria (voice), cat lady stevie universe sequel, transfem Steve, age gap, pre-relationship, spice&fluff Stevie Week: Day 1 | Day 2 (art) | Day 3 (art) | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

!We dive straight into smut but it's not very descriptive!

Steph makes a few aborted sounds in her throat before slapping her hand against her mouth while Eddie pounds into her. Her muffled sounds make him look up and notice that she's silencing herself and his hips still. 

She blinks up at him, confused at his sudden stillness.

"Does it not feel good?" he asks with a slight pout to his lips.

She shakes her head immediately.

"It does," she croaks out before slapping the hand back over her mouth. Eddie frowns.

"Then I want to hear it. Please."

She shakes her head again, but it's small and hesitant this time. She spreads her fingers, not ready to take the hand away, but wanting to be heard.

"I can't control my voice, you know..." She makes a vague gesture to her mouth, her neck, and the vocal cords beneath. "Like this. There's only so much estrogen can do."

Eddie's heart breaks for her. He sits back, most of him slipping out, and caresses her thigh. 

"What do you mean?"

She sighs, but the soft touch on her skin helps her calm down and gather her thoughts. 

"Hormones don't just... change my voice. They kind of help expand my vocal range so that I can hit the higher notes, and sound the way I do every day. But I can still use the lower notes, and sometimes they just... slip out." She winces.

"Stevie." She looks up at him. "Stephanie, Steph." Eddie leans forward again, and she presses her lips together when his dick moves inside her too. "You're a woman, and your voice won't change that, not to me. I want to know I make you feel good. I want to hear it's so good you can forget yourself, and let loose. I want you to trust me that it won't change how I see you."

Despite his words and the blush on her cheeks, she doesn't seem convinced. So he adds, mercilessly:

"Please."

Stephanie nods and lets him take her hand away from her face. He presses his lips to her palm, watching her cheeks redden further.

"Thank you."

Wayne has taught him to be polite and respectful to women but he never knew such simple words would make someone squirm under him like that. It makes him want to bring her flowers and kiss her goodnight, knowing she'll eat it up and turn these beautiful shades of pink and crimson just for him.

He presses her hand to the mattress and resumes his movements. Slow at first, because his dick lost the plot for a second, but as soon as he felt himself get into full hardness again, he braced himself with the intent to bruise.

"Let me hear you," he said, slamming into the woman beneath him. 

She whimpered, at first, and Eddie let her ease into it, observing her slowly part her lips and let the music flow. The breathy little ohs and ahs, the whines that follow, and finally, when he hit the right spot, a choked-off moan.

"Like that," he praised immediately. "Shit, you sound so hot."

And when she looked into his eyes, moaning and whining unashamedly, her self-consciousness gone, Eddie lost it.

He dove down to bite into her mouth and she accepted it happily, sharing her moans, the high ones, and the low ones, directly into him. With her free arm, she grasped his shoulder, trying to pull him even closer, and he let go of her other hand so they could wrap around each other, pressing tight until their bones crushed, only their mouths and hips allowed to move freely.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Eddie chanted into the corner of her mouth. "Steph."

"Eddie. I'm gonna—"

It's all the warning he gets before her heels dig into his back to pull him impossibly deeper and she comes. Her blunt nails digging into his skin are the last straw for him. 

"Fuck!" he grits out, spilling into the condom, and his thrusts finally weaken, turning into a shallow sway until he stills, breathing heavily against her neck, where he presses his mouth because not touching her wherever he can right now would be torture. Slowly, as he regains control over his muscles, he starts pressing light kisses there. 

"You were perfect. So beautiful. So hot. And you sound divine."

Despite his body's protests, he pushes himself up, because he needs to look her in the eyes.

"So good I could record you and take you with me to Indy, for the lonely nights."

"Oh my god, stop." She turns her head away, face twisting with embarrassment. But Eddie presses on. 

"Those little moans you make, the ohs," he tries to imitate the breathy sounds she made and watches her cheeks bloom. "The ahs. Perfect. Thank you for letting me hear them."

"Uh, sure," she offers.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. 

"You sound like you don't believe me."

All she can give him to that is a shrug. So he moves his hips, making her hiss from how sensitive she is, and pulls out from her. He can feel her eyes following as he gets up to dispose of the condom and goes for the door, closed against the four-legged intruders. 

"Towel? Shower?" he asks, but she shakes her head, lifting herself on her hands to point towards the window.

"Just throw me this one. It's going into the laundry anyway."

Eddie grabs the towel, smelling faintly of hair conditioner, off the radiator. Instead of handing it over though, he sits on top of Stephanie's thighs to wipe the cum off her belly himself. 

"Such a gentleman," she comments, with amusement in her tone. 

"Well, I try to treat a lady how she deserves to be treated." He gives her his winning smile, the one he uses to charm his way out of trouble and get an extra cookie at the cafeteria. It must be working, because she finally softens, the lines on her forehead smoothing out as her expression opens up like she's starting to believe his words. 

"You saw my... you know."

"Sure did." Eddie nods with a cheeky grin. "And she's pretty like the rest of you." He grabs her dick to clean thoroughly around it and wipes gently at the tip to make his point. Steph's breath hitches at the way he addresses her genitals. 

"And you heard my voice."

"I hear It all the time," he points out, nudging her knees up to gently wipe the lube from around her rim.

"Yeah, but not like this," she says, lowering her voice on purpose. Her eyes are piercing and testing, and Eddie looks up to meet them.

"I'm a musician, I love a woman with a wide vocal range." He sits up though, his smile wilting. "Do you want to scare me off? Because it's not working, but if you want me to leave, just tell me," he says with a frown. He's been doing his best to be gentle and accommodating. True, he's not dealt with trans people before, but he thought he was doing well. "If I crossed a line somewhere, or did something wrong—"

"No, no, you're good," she cuts him off with a furious shake of her head. "I think I just need a moment."

Eddie gives her a puzzled look. He folds the towel in his hands nervously. 

"Okay. Do you want me to leave, or..."

"No, just come here."

Instead of being shunned out of her flat, he's being pulled down, chest against chest. He quickly gets the memo and straightens his legs until he's laying like a blanket on top of her, arms bent awkwardly to cradle her shoulders, head in the crook of her neck. 

Stephanie tries to be quiet, but eventually, she can't hold back the wet sniffle that alarms Eddie.

"Shit, are you crying?" He tries to look up, but she presses his head back into her neck so he can't move.

"Shut up," she says, but doesn't sound angry. So he settles back down, tries to wrap his arms around her to provide the comfort she clearly needs, and lets her feel whatever she's feeling, fingers gently tracing her skin. 

When he can feel her breath and heartbeat settle down, he asks without looking up:

"Were these good tears?"

She snorts.

"Of course they were, idiot."

He huffs out an amused breath against her neck, making her shoulder jump against the ticklish feeling. 

"I haven't been treated this nice in a long while. It's a lot."

Eddie hums against her skin. He doesn't have the words to help, but he understands the feeling so he hugs her tighter against him.

"I get it," is all he can offer. It's like the first time Wayne had praised him after years of living with his parents. He bawled his eyes out back then, not understanding why. "I'll treat you nice every time, I can't imagine doing it any other way."

Her breath quickens again.

"See?" she asks wetly, almost accusingly. "And now you're promising me more. You can't do that."

"Why not?" Eddie frowns. But he's still not allowed to look up. 

"You go to college. You don't even live here."

"I live here sometimes," he corrects. "And I have a feeling I'll be visiting more often now."

She huffs but doesn't say anything. 

"What? Long distance doesn't work for you?" he half-jokes.

"You make it sound like it's a relationship," she says and Eddie cannot decipher her tone. She sounds accusatory, hurt, and annoyed all at once. 

He finally breaks from her grasp but gives her the comfort of no eye contact. Just settles more comfortably against her collarbone, not crushing her to the bed anymore. He throws his leg and arm over her, wrapping Steph in a comforting touch she so clearly lacks. 

"It could be," he says. 

She doesn't say anything at first, but he senses another scoff on the tip of her tongue.

"Could it?" she counters eventually. Eddie hums.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it?"

"I'm older than you."

This time it's Eddie who scoffs. 

"You're beautiful and funny and have only one too many cats. I think you're fine. And if you have like, a deadly old-lady disease you haven't told me about, that's all the more reason to spend the time you have left being properly fucked and wooed and courted."

"I like how you set the priorities there."

He slaps her hip gently.

"Like you didn't like it."

"I did, I did." She reaches into his hair to gently scratch his scalp. "Can we come back to this?" she asks, but there's an almost pleading tone in her voice. "Next time you visit, we can talk about it."

He doesn't like the idea of waiting until his next break, but if she needs that space, he'll give it to her. 

"Of course."

The signals he's getting are confusing, but he hasn't been told a straightforward 'no' yet, and the hand in his hair is nice and gentle, so he thinks his odds are quite good. He understands the need to think things through even if he's a man of impulsive decisions himself. 

"When do you have to leave?"

Eddie turns to look at the Garfield clock on Steph's bedside table. If he doesn't leave right now, he'll run into traffic outside of the city later. But if he waits a few hours, he'll catch a nice view of the sunset and will be back in his flat shortly after sundown. He doesn't have classes until noon tomorrow anyway. 

"I have enough time for a nap and round two," he decides, looking back at her.

"Perfect." She smiles sweetly, craning her neck down to kiss him. Then she flips them until she's the one cuddling into him, and he positively shudders when he wraps his arms around the soft body pressed against him, cradling her to his chest. 

"Yeah, perfect," he agrees, closing his eyes.

[the1975attheirverybest]

A/N: because men need to be more vocal.

Warnings: smut.

————

The air in the room was hot. Matty’s skin felt hot like fire. His hair cascaded around his face, the curls stretching, like a spring, heavy with beads of sweat and dripping onto his body. The only sounds they made were Matty’s cuffed wrists pulling against the headboard, and the wet, filthy clicking sound of her hand, pumping his lubed up cock, working every ridge and inch of skin, watching him with greedy eyes as wave after wave of pleasure hit him.

Matty leaned backwards, resting his head against the headboard. His face and neck flushed, he breathed rapidly. He jolted, startled by the sudden gentle touch of her hand when she placed it over his taut abs; she simply wanted to feel him clench and tighten whenever she edged and denied him another orgasm, smiling to herself when she felt his body contract under her hand.

Matty whispered a strangled “please” that felt like it was ripped from the back of his throat.

“What was that, honey?” Feigning ignorance, she instantly let go of him, watching as his dick twitched against his stomach, his toes curling, his pretty, pink lips swollen. He managed to hold off on cumming, but the pain was agonizing.

He whined pathetically, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for the worst of the pain to subside.

“What’s the matter, baby?” She smiled, a hint of scorn in her voice.

Matty looked up at her, wide-eyed, thought it could’ve simply been his dismayed pupils. “Need to- to cum.”

She leaned closer, propped up with her hands on either side of him. “Then beg.”

“Please” Matty blurted out almost reflexively.

She sighed dramatically in mock-relief, shaking her head. “Oh, Matty. You don’t get it do you.”

He felt her hand wrap around him again causing him to jump, and yank on his restraints.

“Holy- fuck! Ow.”

Her hand picked up its pace, and so did Matty’s breathing.

“I want to hear you, Matty. I want you to make me believe that you really needed it. This mousy whispering? Not gonna get you anywhere tonight.”

“Wha-what do you- fuck! Ah!- what do you mean?”

“Matty, baby, I don’t think you realize-“

“Ah- okay- stop stop stop! IM gonna cum.”

She moved withdrew her hand just in time. “I don’t think you realize how hot your moans are.”

Matty’s eyes widened. He was sure that if his face weren’t already flushed, he’d be blushing right now.

“When you call out my name? When you feel so good that you’re moaning into my ear?” She decided he’d had enough of a break and resumed her torturous edging. “The pretty noises that you make? The sound of your voice?”

“Ahhha- please- darling, I’m so close it won’t take much…”

“Tell me how good I make you feel. Make me hear it. And if you do a good enough job, maybe I’ll let you cum.” She gave him a quick peck. “Here I’ll even help you along.” She tugged on him gently.

“Fuckkk!!” Matty cried out, the veins of his neck visible.

“That’s it, honey. Go on…”

He swallowed harshly. “Uhhh…p-please, babe, please. I- I need it. Please let me cum? Hmm? It’s - it’s just- hurts so good. And I’m so, fuckin sensitive. I- can’t. You feel so good. You-“ Matty could no longer remember what he’d intended to say, nor would he be able to say it even if he did. She’d reduced him to a string of incoherent moans and broken pleas. He writhed, his cuffs rattling, every curve and crevice of his sculpted body tensing; his inked skin glistening with sweat.

“Ple- ohhhh, fuck! Fuck! Shit!— please” he yelled out.

“Music to my ears.” She smiled. “Go on, Matty. Cum for me.”

“Really?” The shock in his eyes was endearing. “Yes, baby, really. Go ahead, let go.”

“Ohhh thank you- thank-“ before the word was out of his mouth, his orgasm hit him, and he felt it from his head to his toes.

She watched, in awe, her lips slightly parted as his legs shook and he made the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard before his body had finally had enough, and went limp against the bed.

“My love.” She kissed his damp forehead. “Did so good.”

“Yeah? I was good?”

She watched him attempt to swallow.

“You screamed. Like actually. Must be thirsty.” Bringing a glass of water to his lips. “Have a sip.”

“Can I please- cig?” He was still breathless but she knew he was probably thinking more about that cigarette than he was about untying his wrists.

“Sure,” she plucked a cigarette out of the packet, lighting it up for him between her lips.

“Here.”

Matty smiled. “I love you.” Still out of breath.

[jesuisgourde]

Okay, All Quiet On The Eastern Esplanade is out in the states, so time for a listen and a rambling track by track reaction. I'm listening to the whole album through and writing my thoughts, and then listening to it once more and adding any other observations.

I've already heard Run Run Run, and like I said before, it feels very classic Carl track. It's very catchy. I think I have the same complaint as everyone else, which is that it feels over-produced. No one should autotune the Libs, the whole point is that they're a bit wonky. Also I don't like that they've fucked with the equalizer and the vocals sound weirdly muffled? Also, upon this listen-through, this song reminds me a little of Frank Turner, which is a weird musical callback to like 2012. My favorite thing in any song is when the instrumentals cut out and it's just drums and vocals, so I love that as the ending of the song. This whole album has so many varied cultural references which I find very entertaining. Does Peter yell "Get your pants off" or "Get your hands off"?

Already I like the lyric to Mustangs A LOT. Feeling a Lou Reed influence there. Love Peter's high-pitched backing vocals and also the Pigman reference. I really love Libs songs where it's just a little scene set to music. And this is exactly that, in such a good way. Again, not a fan of the mixing. What is it with producers these days and mixing so shittily that the vocals get lost in the background instruments, and everything gets muddied? I had the exact same complaint with the last Manics album. Anyway, love the little jokey bits at the end. The second verse about the nun is such fantastic imagery. (Lastly, I thought it was Mustang, singular? But it's plural on Spotify?)

I Have A Friend has an AMAZING chorus I love it. Also that solo guitar bit from Carl right after, I literally could see him hopping up and down in my head. Love Peter's rolled R's. Okay, upon listening the second time round I really really really like this song. The lyrics are incredible. I think they're my favorite on the album. Social commentary but also absolutely beautiful and amazing imagery.

Merry Old England has a bit of a Hamburg Demonstrations vibe to it, which I love. The further I get into this song, the more I love it. It's such a creative and sarcastic critique of Tory policies and all that. Again, I've criticisms about the mixing. Also the pretty violins makes me miss Miki Beavis's wonky violin in Madres, which I think suits Peter/The Libs way better. Still, they add a nice touch.

Ohhh I love Man With The Melody, the clear pretty vocals. I like that each of the Libs have their own verse, that's so cool! Fuck the autotuning though. I really like this song. Melodically it sounds like a sequel to Milkman's Horse, and thematically a sequel to Fame And Fortune. It sounds like a "reply" or a look back at Anthems. Very pretty, with the lovely piano and minimalist guitar.

Hahahha Oh Shit! feels soooooo early 2000s American pop, in a fun way. It reminds me of something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Something that was on the radio a lot in like 2003 or 2004 maybe? This is clearly a Fun Song, like a slosh your drinks around while dancing all goofy type song. Peter's "And that was the news today" at the end is so silly. I think this track is my least favorite but it is fun.

I already know I love Night Of The Hunter. Firstly because anything that uses the Swan Lake motif has my heart instantly. But also because I love the lyrics, I love when Peter writes songs about noir-type vignettes. Finally, some good shared vocals that aren't drowned out by instruments. Gosh, I love the lyrics of this song, I love the dual meaning in that it is technically about an actual noir film but could easily be talking about Peter's past as well. I really like that the lyrics get priority on this one and the instrumentals are pushed back in the mix with the Swan Lake motif coming forward sometimes. It feels like it needs that minimalism.

The guitar on Baron's Claw is already great from the start. I hear Peter's taking a leaf out of Daniel Darc's book with the close-in breathy vocals, which I'm so into because since I learned about Daniel Darc from Peter and Frederic Lo I've actually fallen in love with his music too. Melody-wise it's very close to The Glassblower from the Fantasy Life album, which is my favorite song off that album, so I'm not surprised I like this song too. I like the story in the song and I like the jazzy brass and piano and Peter's vocals. It feels like it's being sung in a smoky jazz bar. This one is so good.

Shiver is sooo catchy. I find myself humming it sometimes at work even though I haven't yet absorbed all the lyrics in my memory. This is also the real "Libertines mythology" song, so of course it's good. The fact that the lyrical subject matter is made up only of criticizing the monarchy and talking about specific Libertines lore is just so them. It's so short, though! I wish it were longer!

The guitar on Be Young is so chaotic lol. It reminds me of Horrorshow a bit. Okay, actually this whole song is chaotic. Melodically, lyrically, it sounds like they were crashing around in the studio while recording, which is very fun. The random calypso bridge bit is so....random! I like it, just a surprise in terms of musical style change. Suddenly they're the Clash! A fun way to pay homage to influences, I think. Also Carl yelling "Woo!" and then collapsing into a cough at the end is really really funny.

I can definitely hear the early-ness of Songs They Never Play On The Radio. You can tell the scaffolding is there from that early set of Libertines-to-Shambles transition songs like East Of Eden/Love Reign Over Me/Merry Go Round etc. I really really like the guitar on this one. And the vocals are so nice. Again I don't like the mix, where Peter's voice is a bit overtaken by the muddiness of the backup singers and instrumentals. But I do like this song a lot. The lyrics are pure Libertines mythology. Ahahah the dogs howling! The bit of acoustic and messing about and chat, I really like that. I think it's a really lovely ending to the album, just a glimpse of them obviously being friends and having fun. It's like a beautiful reply to the question "What became of the likely lads?"

As I've only listened through the album in full twice at this point, I'm sure my thoughts will change over time. But at the moment I think my favorite is torn between Night Of The Hunter and Baron's Claw. I Have A Friend and Songs They Never Play also are just so lyrically good. Least favorite is definitely Oh Shit. I'm excited to see which songs grow on me and in what ways.

[milk-crater]

Sorry to keep asking request

Diva

Adam Cole/ Adam Page

This fic kind of got away from me ;_;. Adam-squared but Kenny Omega haunts the narrative. Hope you like it.

***

“Oh, and sir, someone left a message for you,” the hotel clerk said after Hanger checked in. Hanger felt a soft ping of dread: who knew he had a reservation here? He’d been lucky and avoided the paparazzi so far. He’d arrived a day early. He wore sunglasses and a surgical mask. He wore a denim baseball cap, eschewing the cowboy hat that so many other country music stars wore. He didn’t even travel with an entourage, feeling it was easier to slip through a crowd incognito that way.   

But someone had left a message for him. Someone who knew he’d come a day early before the Grammy’s, even knew what hotel he’d be staying at.

The clerk slipped a small envelope across the desk. Hanger took out the small note card.

Hey cowboy,

Sorry about what I said before. Let me make it up to you. Room 409, 8PM.

There was no signature on the note but Adam already knew who’d written it.

Kenny.

Kenny Omega. The biggest pop star in the world. One of his oldest pals. His mentor. His one and off again…boyfriend? Well, whatever they were, they’d been ‘off-again’ ever since the nominations for Album of the Year had come out and Adam Page’s album Anxious Millennial Cowboy had gotten a nom.

Kenny had always been so supportive when Adam had been struggling to get his music heard. Paid for studio time, produced his first album, had him as guest vocals on a surefire hit. But now, now that Hanger was finally getting some recognition on his own, Kenny had changed. Instead of being happy for him, Kenny had sent Hanger some texts. Some really mean texts.

Congrats on the nomination. For such a shy guy you really worked your connections well.

People only know who you are because they know ME.  

You gonna to thank me first when you win?

Never mind that Kenny’s album, One-Winged Angel, was also nominated for Album of the Year. Never mind that it was the front runner to win. Now that Adam was finally getting some respect in the industry, Kenny had gone from sweet to sour, from caring to caustic so fast that it made Adam’s head spin.

Kenny had followed up with some apology texts, but Hanger had left them on read.

Now though, Adam felt his resolve weakening. The thought of seeing Kenny in person was just too tempting. Surely they could work through their shit if they were in the same room. Could get back on the same page before one of them (probably Kenny) won Album of the Year tomorrow. Could just fuck away any tension that words couldn’t resolve.

Adam tightened his grip on his rolling suitcase. It was 7:45. He’d just go right to Kenny’s room now. No need to drop his own stuff off.

He went up to room 409, and took a couple of deep breaths.

When he knocked on the door Adam Cole answered.

Adam Cole was the front man for Undisputed Era, a rock band whose self-titled album was also up for AotY. Cole was outgoing, charismatic, well-spoken, confident. Basically all the things that Hanger wasn’t (“Yeah, but you’re talented,” Kenny had told him when Hanger had confessed his Adam Cole-related insecurities. When Kenny was on your side it was the best feeling in the world). Somehow Hanger and Cole had gotten in the habit of hooking up whenever they were at the same music festival. The man was always a good lay, and he didn’t seem to want to be anything more than fuck buddies, which was a relief to Hanger who already had something deep and complicated in Kenny.

Still, though he more or less liked Cole, Adam was disappointed to see him in the doorway. Why had Kenny asked Adam Cole there?

Cole winked at him.

“Well, don’t just stand there, cowboy. Come on in.”

Adam stepped into the suite. Cole gestured with his arms and smiled wide as he gave a tour of the hotel suite, pointing out each feature like they were on some house hunting reality TV show. The jacuzzi, two separate bedrooms, the large common area with kitchenette. Adam took it all in, the whole time wondering where Kenny was.   

“Big place for one man,” Hanger commented, wondering why Kenny would want all this space. He was a bit of a diva, sure, but this was overkill.

“Yeah, well, Kyle and Bobby’s plane were delayed so they’ll arrive first thing in the morning. Roddy’s flight also got bumped so he’s arriving at, like, 1AM,” Cole explained with a hint of irritation. He brightened when he looked to Hanger. “But that just means you and me have the place to ourselves till then.”

Oh.

This was the Undisputed Era’s suite, not Kenny’s.

Cole stepped in for a kiss but he paused when he saw the look on Hanger’s face.

“What?” Cole asked. His grin was wry but there was worry in his eyes.

“Sorry, it’s just, uhh...” Hanger tried to figure out what to say. “I think I got the wrong idea from the note at the reception desk.”

Cole laughed, leaning in to place a kiss on Hanger’s neck. “What did you think we’d do up here? Play checkers?”

“It’s not the ‘what’ I got wrong but the ‘who,’” Hanger admitted. Cole leaned back to look at his face.

“The who…? But…” The penny dropped. “You thought Kenny left the note.”

Hanger shrugged. Cole looked at him with a mix of emotions: pity, disdain, and unexpectedly, hurt. Then Cole hunched over as he laughed.

“Wow, Adam! You’re really pathetic, you know that? Sooo hung up on what Kenny Omega thinks about you. You should hear the things he says about you behind your back.”

“Yeah, well, I could say the same to you, Cole,” Hanger replied hotly. His own words gave him pause: maybe it said something about Kenny that he felt all right bad-mouthing one Adam to another, keeping them on this emotional teeter-totter with him as the fulcrum.

“You came running so fast,” Cole said. His voice and face were gleeful and Hanger knew Cole grew malicious like this when his feelings were hurt. And the man was oh-so easily hurt. “Like a little lapdog who still comes when he’s called even after being hit. Hey, if Kenny told you to jump off a bridge, would yo--”

Cole didn’t get the question fully out of his mouth before Hanger stepped forward, hand in Cole’s long hair to yank his head back. Hanger cut off any further words with a kiss.

When he stopped to breath, Cole blinked at him.

“What?”

“It’s what we’re here for, right?” Hanger said, pushing Cole down onto the couch. Cole got over his surprise to reach up and pull Hanger down onto him.

***

“Hey, you need to go. Roddy’s plane just landed.”

Hanger had been dozing off in the bed, Cole next to him on his phone.

Hanger blearily pushed himself to a sitting position. “What? Don’t want him to find me here? I thought you lived for drama like that.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “We’re all on edge enough with the Grammys tomorrow. I don’t need Roddy giving me a lecture about sleeping with the enemy on top of that. Plus, I want to take a shower.”

“Fine, fine.” Hanger got to his feet and started getting dressed. He had to admit, while Cole did grind his gears, he always felt chilled out after they fucked. He didn’t have the usual worries and thoughts running around his head, the personal recriminations on repeat. He always felt weirdly at peace, the absolution of the afterglow. Maybe it was way he kept falling into bed with Cole despite not thinking about the man much otherwise.

Cole put his phone down but didn’t look up at Hanger.

“Hey, I meant what I said in the note.”

“What?” Hanger said, mind still pleasantly numb from sex and sleep.

“I’m sorry about what I said last time we saw each other.” When Hanger just looked at him blankly. “At Coachella. You know, what I said then. It was a low blow and I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Right, ‘Sorry about what I said before’ the note had said.“Honestly, Adam, don’t worry about it. I don’t even remember it.”

Now Cole looked at him, eyes wide with disbelief. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Hanger said easily. “You talk so much shit I’ve just learned to pay it no mind.”

Hanger thought he was being kind, that it would be a relief to Cole to know that Hanger didn’t bear him any ill will. But Cole looked like a kicked puppy.

“Oh. Great. Cool.” Adam picked up his phone and started typing.

“Um, good luck at the Grammys,” Hanger said weakly.     

Adam snorted at that, then seemed to reconsider. He glanced at Hanger.

“Hey, we’re planning on having a big victory part here tomorrow night. If you’re not too sore about losing, you should come.”

A victory party. As if Undisputed Era has already won Album of the Year.

You know Kenny’s winning, right? Hanger wanted to ask. But he didn’t, because as much as he hated Cole’s confidence he also kind of admired it.

“Thanks for the invite,” Hanger said, nodded to Adam with a half-smile, and left.

[sea-of-machines]

JCS 2000 ALBUM LISTENING (thoughts)

Disclaimer: the only Jesus Christ Superstar I've ever heard before this is the original concept album.

Heaven on their minds: wow, the mixing sucks. Also Judas' voice is odd, sounds a bit weak.

What's the buzz? Strange thing, mystifying: damn, Jesus has a soft voice. I think I kinda like it. Otherwise the track feels somehow hurried and odd paced.

Everything's alright: the mixing is so horrible it's almost making me a hater. Also, the way the singing is flowing with the music feels weird compared to the original concept album (not just on this song but the other's as well).

Hosanna: hmm, this one feels a bit more pleasant to listen to. Whoever plays Caiaphas sounds kinda bussing.

Simon Zealotes / Poor Jerusalem: even the instrumental is poorly mixed. I like the choir singing. Simon has a nice voice too. As far, I feel like they casted the main trio (Jesus, Judas, Mary) a bit poorly but the rest quite well. The mixing is too “cinematic” aka some bits are just too silent.

Pilate's dream: too fucking silent. Singer sounds like mom said that we have opera at home. 

The temple: this has some of my favourite lines for Jesus. It was very promising until we got there. Jesus wasn't upset enough. Should've screamed more angrily. (Oh boy, what will Gethsemane be with this…) Also, the end part of the song began too quietly once again, but it got better. Seriously, Jesus’ singer lacks aggression. He is great but it's lacking.

I don't know how to love him: honestly, at this point I'm probably just a hater, but they played it too safe with Mary. 

Damn, they just skipped songs??? Where's Damned for all time / Blood money??? (This made me realise that there's songs missing from the beginning as well.)

The last supper: was the original this long as well? This feels oddly long. The Jesus & Judas argument is cool, except angry Jesus reminds me of the video where a man was screaming at yellow paint. Choir singing slaps though. Splendid.

Gethsemane: Oh no. The beginning is horrible. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PACING OF THE SINGING??????? I want to scream into a cardboard tube. The emotion is put in the wrong places. Sounds extremely hilarious. Man screams at yellow paint again. I feel like this was too pretentious and therefore failed to be the great masterpiece it should be.

King Herod's song: hell nahh what is this goofy ahh shit 💀💀💀 I never want to hear this again.

Could we start again, please?: What's this? I've never heard this song in my life. They decided to add this instead of the banger songs they cut out??? (Ok apparently this was in the og movie. I haven't seen it so I didn't know, but this track is lame.)

Judas’ death: promising start, nice amount of drama, but that's about it. The rest is meh. Honestly, I regret uninstalling subway surfers because this is boring.

Trial before Pilate: “so the king is once again my guest” but you cut out the part where he was his guest for the first time lol. I have to admit that Jesus’ vocals are pretty neat in this (rare). Also the mixing seems to have gotten a bit better as we're reaching the end, or maybe I've just gotten used to it…

Superstar: the intro goes hard. Vocals are surprisingly good for this album too.

Crucifixion: DJHSGSDHSHSGZ omg lollll what the fuck this is just so fucking miserable 😭

John nineteen: forty-one: it's an instrumental, they can't fuck it up, right?

I want back the 1 h 19 min I just wasted from my life.

[deathbypixelz]

Alright, I've listened to the entirety of I Love You So Fucking Much by Glass Animals, and I have some thoughts. TL;DR I think they missed the mark a little bit and squandered the potential of the retrofuturistic space theme, but the songs they got right, they got RIGHT.

I'm just some random chucklefuck on the internet who's been a very big fan of this band for a very long time. I am not by any stretch of the imagination a music expert. This isn't technical critique, just the thoughts of a fan.

I'd recommend listening to it yourself first (if you care) before reading my thoughts so I don't color your opinions.

I will also preface this saying I simply don't relate to the "failed/abusive relationship" theme, which automatically makes the album a slightly harder sell. I am, however, very good at ignoring lyrics, and at pretending music is about my OCs lol

First song is Show Pony, and it was a rough open for me. Whatever warping is on the backing guitar that's making it all warbly is fun, I like that, and the quiet vocals coming in at the start is really nice. But then the rest of the song is kinda... hm. The rhythm of the lyrics is nice, but I just flat out dislike the sound of the bridge, and the chorus is just alright. I think this song could have used a little more Something. It feels like it's almost there, it's really close, but it doesn't quite hit the spot.

I really enjoy whatthehellishappening?, the kidnapping theme/metaphor is WEIRD and FUN, I love when Glass Animals get weird and fun!! The sound is also very reminiscent of Tame Impala, and I love Tame Impala's sound, so this is a win. I don't know how musicians do it, but there's a certain sound that evokes movement to me, and this song definitely sounds like we're moving, which of course is perfect for... the narrator being kidnapped and thrown in the back of a car lol. GA, keep doing this weird metaphor thing like you did in this song, please!

I already knew I loved Creatures in Heaven. They said they dropped this one first because it's most reminiscent of their "usual" sound and they didn't want to shock people, and it certainly is, but it's a good sound. "You held me like my mother made me just for you" and the way he delivers that line like he's about to start crying fucking gets me every time. I'm a physical person, alright, and you can probably see that in my art. That line is its own little high for me. And the instrumentation is so alive, and this song is just a joy to listen to.

Wonderful Nothing's red herring open (is that what you'd call it?) is fun, and then I heard the emphasized "t" in "delight" that villains always do, and I went "Oh?", and then the beat kicked in, and I lost my mind. This is the Space Ghost Coast to Coast and the Tokyo Drifting and the Take a Slice, I love that shit. Glad they continued the tradition of including one song that makes you want to do some fucked up shit. And the ending with everything warping out on "but I still love you" is just delicious. This is a fucked up song, I love it.

A Tear in Space (Airlock) is what I was expecting most of this album to be, and I'm a touch disappointed it wasn't. The space theme is so strong, the instrumentation is hitting all the marks, the way the vocals get so high in the second verse is FANTASTIC (especially when listening to it in the shower lol), and I just love this song. I would've liked more of this.

The synths in the start of I Can't Make You Fall in Love Again are great! More of that through the whole song please! The soft guitar is nice, it vaguely reminds me of The Japanese House, but I dunno... something about the (non-chorus) vocals feels a little too divorced from the instrumentation and the theme of the album. Still, this one might grow on me.

How I Learned to Love the Bomb has a good sound. It's a good song. I like it! I think my disappointment around this one just comes from my expectations of the album being more... space-y.

I'm just indifferent about White Roses. It's... forgettable, and I hate to say that. I think I'm just the wrong person for this song. Like I said, I don't actually relate to the lyrical themes of this album. I'll touch on that more in a moment.

The "shu-be-de-boo" looped vocalization in the background in On the Run is cute, I liked that. I can hear the band having fun with this song (not that I think they didn't enjoy making the rest, it just especially comes through on this one). I can tell they were playing around with self-indulgent ideas in this one, and I'm happy they had fun with it, but it still doesn't actually hit my mark. Which, again, is fine!

Lost in the Ocean is similar to How I Learned to Love the Bomb in that it's a nice song, but it just feels out of place on this album.

Overall, there's really only two-almost-three songs off this album I just don't think I'll ever like. And out of an album of ten songs, that's still a 70-80% success rate. But I like every song off their first three albums. I'm not saying that as a weird brag, but because it shows how open I am to everything Glass Animals tries. I can usually find something I like in every song of theirs. And out of this album, I only love three, maybe four songs. Compare to their past albums, where I love anywhere from 60-90% of the songs.

As I said in the preface, I think they could've used the retrofuturistic space theme more. It really only comes through on... what, two or three songs? The synths are kinda space-y, yeah, but the actual space theme and imagery isn't explored too much. And that just feels like a missed opportunity, they could've done a lot with it.

This album overall feels safer than in the past, which is just sad :( I wasn't expecting another ZABA, but knowing they're capable of ZABA-type sounds and themes and lyrics, it's disappointing.

And this is just a nitpick, but the album is called "I Love You So Fucking Much" and yet it's... basically entirely about abusive/failed relationships? That's not love, I was expecting more love. I wanted to hear a genuine Glass Animals love song. I'm a hopeless romantic, I relate to that, I want that in my music. Creatures in Heaven comes closest, and I treat it like one (again, very good at ignoring lyrics), but it's still about a past, failed relationship. But oh well...

I hope they get more experimental again, I don't want the popularity high of Dreamland to make them too scared to try anything weird going forward. There is nothing else on this planet like ZABA, there's nothing like How to be a Human Being, there's parts of Dreamland that are uniquely Glass Animals, but ILYSFM feels half Glass Animals and half... something watered down.

I remain hopeful though. They really like sticking to one theme per album, so maybe now that ILYSFM is out of their system, we'll get something weird and different next album. And the random singles artists usually drop after a new album releases are often the "weirder ones" anyway, so I remain hopeful for those too.

[madrone33]

Right so... been going crazy trying to catch up on the explosion of stuff peeps have been doing since the EPIC: The Musical Ocean Saga release, but. Got some downtime now, and I just wanted to post my reaction to listening to the songs, 'cause it was wild bro.

Fyi, this is all taking place at around 11:30 pm 24th Dec for me, as I'm an australian, so that would make it... uh, 8:30 am 24th Dec for americans I think? Idk, timezones are weird bro. Basically, I listened to the songs and then wrote down my immediate reactions at like 1 am lol.

*ahem*

OK HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK. OK OK. They came out for australians. They CAME OUT FOR AUSTRALIA!!!!

I was on dicord, right? And then another australian says they're out, and i'm like wait what but there's still like 16 hours till midnight in est, but i look up 'luck runs out jorgre rivera-herrans' on yt (cause it's a unique name) and scroll down and FUCK IT'S THERE!! THE STANDARD AUTO TOPIC VERSION!! IT'S NOT EVEN MIDNIGHT HERE YET?? (23:24 at the time of discovery. The vid says it was uploaded 3 hrs ago already)

The piano. I heard the first notes of piano and ohhhhh shiiiit it's actually happening!!!

i opened the door and called out to mum 'cause i was still in disbelief and she was still awake and i was like "mum... i think it's out" or SOMETHIG LIKE THAT IDK THE EXACT WORDS. She said jokingly she'd thought i had an existential crisis and GIRL IT KINDA FELT LIKE IT?? I WAS NOT PREPARED! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANOTHER 16 HOURS!

I tapped on the link thingy to the album in the description and then i had the album RIGHT THERE HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS. IT'S STORM. IN THE FLESH. THERE'S A FUCKING TRUMPET-

I did my civic duty and informed (read: screamed in all caps) to everyone in the discord while mum listened to the first song 'cause she said she was interested and asked and i was so excited and gave her my headphones to listen to storm and then I took em back once I was done and now it's time to go dark. I said goodnight to mum and... pressed play.

Here's the highlights:

Storm: mixing is on another level bro. The vocals, the harmonies, the chorus, and hearing all those snippets without breaks in between, actually flowing and making sense and that ending beat is AHHH-

It went so fast. It's three min long how did it go by so fast what-

Luck Runs Out: the piano is godly. They actually changed the melody of the 'you could be caught off guard' part. My first thought after ooo? Was 'damn it no longer sounds like shut up and dance w/ me' lol.

I think this one changed the most from the snippets. Jsut the way they say lines, and stray words. I love it. The harmonies-

KYFC: the intro is that one atmospheric snippet he did with the flutes!! Aeolus sounds so sassy compared to the old snippets oof hell yes! There's a small instrumental interlude between the first chorus and the crew asking about the bag which is new.

THE PENELOPE PART. OH. MY. GOD. I LEGIT TEARED UP, I WAS CRYING, I'M CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND TYPING THIS OUT IT WAS SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING.

Trying to hold them in his arms? Time to be that father he always wanted to be?? His eyes and heart and soul is heavy??? I'm FUCKING CRYING-

Also wow he really just stayed up for 9 days huh? Respect. Also, fuck those crewmates man. Bet they felt real stupid when it got them killed. Oh, wait, fuck it didn't Poseidon killed everyone but them oh hell nah- And Odysseus still goes to save them from Circe?? Bro. BRO. Just let them die. It ain't worth it.

And that's how Jorge introduces the land of the giants? Cool! I was wondering about that.

Poesiedon pull up! (Is it bad that i thought he sounded like ares in the pj musical there lmao-)

RUTHLESSNESS: it's here. Oh my lord it's here. Everyone stay calm. Fuck it IT'S FUCKING HERE!!

The chanting, Ody's terrified 'Poseidon...', the electric guitar on Poseidon's verse, the fucking growl in his voice is amazing, the 'Die.' is as;ihfd HELL FUCKING YES!!

I love that the 'Captain-!'s of the drowning men is more apparent here, and the silence afterwards... ooof you can hear Ody's horrified stuttered breaths and the way the lyric's changed to '43 left under your command' is soooo fucking good.

And then Ody's sudden defiance and the fucking burning in his eyes as he defies a god and escapes death- Yes. YES! It's so good-

... No wait it's over?? That's it??? WHYYYYY-

(Side note - the fact that there weren't any ads between vids is incredible and I thank the gods for this blessing.)

Ok, but all seriousness, that was incredible. I- I couldn't stop smiling. My face actually started hurting I was smiling so much. I was shaking the whole time, and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe, and- It was amazing. This was an amazing experience, and I'm so glad I could freak out to mum, and she was excited with me, and it was such a good surprise, like an actual chrismas gift from Jorge or some shit. I love it. I love this. Genuinely. It's an amazing thing he's given us and I thank him, sincerely. Thank you, Jorge, and everyone involved in creating this for people to enjoy and love. You should all be proud.

Thanks for reading me freak out, whoever made it to the end lmao. Tagging @dootznbootz because their rambles gave me the confidence to throw my own into the void. Thx :D

[oliverreedmasterass]

Could you write about how nervous they probably were about performing the new song last night?

I'm so sorry for the delay on this one! I decided to write something based around the Sac show, I hope you don't mind:

Stage Fright

Words: 2.7k words

Warnings: language, drinking, allusions to grief

“LAST DAY OF TOUR!” Josh hollered at the top of his lungs, taking a lap from the back of the bus to the front, and back again. 

“You’re supposed to be on vocal rest,” Sam groaned from his bunk before letting out a loud yawn. “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Sorry that I’m glad this hell ride is almost done,” Josh skidded to a stop in front of Sam and crossed his arms. “Don’t piss on my tits.” 

“Piss on your tits?” Sam repeated Josh with a scrunched face. “What the fuck?” 

But Josh was already gone, taking another lap and whooping at the top of his lungs. With the grim acceptance that he wasn’t going to get another second of sleep, Sam pushed himself upright and rose to his feet with a groan. It was just his luck that Josh ran by at that moment and, without a second thought, Sam stuck out his bare foot, tangling it in Josh’s legs so he tumbled to the ground with a loud thud. 

“Agh,” Josh groaned from the ground. “You pissed on my tits.” 

“That’s what you get for waking me up,” Sam said down to his older brother. Feeling satisfied, he stepped over Josh and made his way to the front of the bus, where Jake and Danny were both sitting at the table, quietly working on their tall mugs of coffee. Sam slid into the spot next to Danny and looked over Jake’s head to see Josh slowly picking himself up from the ground and frowning down at the bruise that was already forming on his knee. 

“Are you ready for tonight?” he asked his band members. 

“Obviously not as ready as Josh is,” Danny said after taking a thoughtful chug from his drink. 

“I feel fine,” Jake said down to his feet. 

“You’re definitely nervous,” Sam pointed at his older brother, who reacted with a quick glare. “You’re shit at hiding it.” 

“It’s just been a while since we’ve played new stuff,” Jake started to get defensive. “I don’t want to start accidentally playing the wrong thing.” 

“It won’t matter, we’re playing unreleased music. You could literally play anything and we’d just gaslight everyone and be like, ‘yeah, we totally meant to do that,’” Sam tried to comfort his brother. “You could do a bunch of awful feedback with your guitar and people would probably lose their minds.” 

Jake tsked at Sam’s words and gave his head a firm shake. 

“I don’t think so.” 

“I can’t wait to play the harmonica,” Josh popped up next to the table, making everyone jump. “I’ve been practicing in the bathroom.” 

“We know,” Jake spoke for the table. “We’ve heard you every night at 3am.” 

“I think I’ve got it down,” Josh continued. “Are you ready to become the second best harmonica player in the band?” 

“Sure thing, bud,” Jake gave Josh a hefty slap on the back.

Sam caught a glimpse of Danny and noted that he was a lot more slouched than normal, as if he was trying to disappear into the vinyl seating of the dining table bench. 

“Are you okay?” Sam leaned into Danny’s side to whisper in his ear. Danny slowly raised his shoulders up to his ears. “We can talk later, if you want,” Sam added. 

“Yeah,” Danny said under his breath. 

“Aw fuck,” Jake’s voice raised, capturing everyone on the bus’s attention. 

“What?” Josh asked, grabbing a seat next to Jake. 

“Management didn’t tell me that my name was gonna look like that when I changed my Instagram username,”  Jake whined, holding up his phone. Josh, Sam, and Danny all squinted at his screen and then broke down into laughter when they saw the problem. 

“Jaket Kiszka,” Josh howled, “I can’t believe it.” 

“I never realized my name did that,” Jake frowned down at his phone. “Oh god, so many people are tagging me in memes.” 

“New bus rule,” Sam announced, “We only call Jake Jaket moving forward.” 

“Thank god this is the last show,” Jaket pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Is it too late for me to change it to Jacob?” 

“The damage is already done,” Sam reached across the table to give Jaket a supportive rub on the arm. “I had to deal with all of the iPad kid slander, now it’s your turn.” 

“Jaket Kiszka,” Jaket grumbled to himself, like he still couldn’t believe it.

Danny gave Sam’s leg a light tap and nodded towards the back of the bus. Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at how quickly Danny wanted to talk, but immediately sprung to his feet and led the way without saying another word to Jaket or Josh. 

“Bye, I guess?” Josh called after them. 

When Sam and Danny were in the back, Sam slammed the sliding door shut, giving them their privacy. He turned back around and saw that Danny was standing awkwardly in the middle of the common area, toying with the bracelets around his wrist. 

“Is this about the show tonight or something else?” Sam tried to coax Danny along. 

“I’m scared, Sammy,” Danny said, looking anywhere but at his best friend. “I’ve been so distracted lately, I’m not sure that I’ve got everything down. I really want to play my best, but I don’t know if I can do it.” 

Sam motioned for Danny to join him on the room’s couch adorned in pillows, and they both fell back into its soft cushions. Danny let out a small huff which Sam understood meant that he was starting to get overwhelmed. Danny usually was pretty composed and it took a lot to break him down, but Sam also understood that he had been through a lot in the past week. Sam was beyond impressed that Danny was still playing his heart out in spite of everything, but he had had a gut feeling that Danny was going to crack at some point. 

“Hey,” Sam finally succeeded in making eye contact with Danny. “You’ve got this. Together we make one hell of a rhythm section. Just follow me, and you’ll be okay. You can make it through our new stuff, I know you can.” 

“No pressure,”  Sam caught Danny whispering to himself. 

“How about this?” Sam thought aloud, “We’ll head to the arena early and get some practice in. Would that be helpful?” 

Danny thought it over and finally let out a sigh. 

“That’s a much more rational idea than getting back in bed.” 

“You can get in bed after we practice a bit,” Sam promised him. “And I’m guaranteeing you a really nice meal after the show to celebrate finishing the tour. Whatever you want, it’s on me.” 

“I want In N’ Out,” Danny answered. 

“I was thinking more Michelin star-quality, but thanks for being mindful about my bank account,” Sam said, standing back to his feet. Danny was frozen in place on the couch, lost in thought again, so Sam reached out a hand to help him back up. He noted that Danny’s hand felt clammy and tried hard to think of anything else he could say to make Danny feel better.

“Should I ask if Jaket wants to join us?” 

He was glad that his joke got a small smirk out of Danny. 

“Let’s just keep it to the rhythm section for now. I don’t want Jaket knowing that I might blow things on stage tonight.” 

Sam and Danny snuck out of the bus while Jaket and Josh were distracted, looking through all the Jaket memes that were blowing up their Instagram pages. Sam checked to make sure that the coast was clear and then motioned for Danny to join him as they hustled to the back door of the Golden 1 Center. After getting through security, Danny looked slightly less stressed. 

“Can we run through Sacred the Thread first?” he asked while they walked through the labyrinth of the backstage area. “There’s one fill that I’m really worried I’m going to miss.” 

“Yeah, of course. But we need to do The Falling Sky a few times too,” Sam added. “I’m terrified of that one.” 

“Sam Kiszka terrified? No way.” Danny feigned shock. 

“Hey, I’m not a singer. I’m still pissed that Jaket insisted I take the mic for that song, we all know that he’s the one who’s got the hidden pipes in the group.” 

“It’s your time to shine, Sammy,” Danny cut Sam’s self-wallowing off. “You deserve to have your moment out there.” 

“Watch, my voice is gonna crack,” Sam tried to joke, even though it was a genuine concern. Josh had already started dumping unsolicited advice on Sam to keep his voice feeling fresh and fully optimal for singing, but a lot of it involved chugging down boozy tea, which Sam could hardly force down. “That will especially stink since I made that TikTok saying that I was a man and all.” 

They made their way to the stage and moved to their designated spots, Danny behind his kit, and Sam next to his large amp. Danny was frozen yet again, staring down at his drumsticks like he was trying to set them on fire with his mind, which caused Sam to loudly clear his throat. 

“Yup?” Danny snapped out of it with a startled jump. “Want me to count in?” 

Sam gave him a thumbs up and waited while Danny sucked in a few deep breaths, before tapping his sticks together three times. 

As they played through Sacred the Thread, Sam started to feel more at ease. Like everyone in the band, Danny was a pretty hardcore perfectionist, so it checked out that he would be super hard on himself and doubt that he could play their new stuff. From what Sam was hearing, Danny was hitting every note like it was nothing, even going out of his way to add in some extra fills that hadn’t been included in their studio recording. He caught a few glimpses of his best friend and noted that he was bashing away like each strike was filled with pent up emotions: grief, rage, frustration, fear, despair. The farther they got into the song, the less tense Danny looked, like he was alleviating everything that had been weighing on him. 

When they finished, Sam set down his bass and jumped up on Danny’s platform, giving him a pat on the back. 

“You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about,” he said matter of factly. Danny’s face was twisted, like he didn’t believe a word of what Sam was saying. 

“I don’t know, I think I was out of time in the middle part.” 

“You weren’t,” Sam hardened his tone to make Danny understand that he was being dead serious. “You were on fire.” 

Danny still looked uncertain while he ran his finger up and down one of his cymbals. 

“How did it feel to play?” Sam decided it was appropriate to ask. Danny took a break from touching his kit and stared up at the rafters of the basketball arena. 

“It was cathartic, I guess.” 

“Can we do The Falling Sky?” 

“Might as well.” 

By the end of that song, Sam was feeling more panicked than when they started. 

“Now why do you look like that?” Danny asked, motioning towards Sam’s face, which was darkened in concern. 

“I missed so many notes,” Sam admitted, letting his hands flop to his sides in defeat. “I don’t know how to sing and play at the same time. How the hell does Geddy Lee do it?” 

“It’s not fair to compare yourself to Geddy Lee,” Danny’s voice was soft. He would never tell Sam, but he had been a bit pitchy and missed a few notes when he stepped up to the mic. “Want to run through it again?” 

“Yes,” Sam turned back around to face Danny, his face pale. Danny raised his sticks up and counted them in again. 

By the twelfth runthrough of The Falling Sky, Danny’s worries about not being able to play their news songs well were entirely gone. He could feel that he was in the groove, and every beat was hit in just the right way. In his gut he knew that he could pull things off and have a good time while he was at it. 

Sam, on the other hand, could feel his confidence diminishing like air being let out of a balloon. Each runthrough brought new errors in places that Sam assumed he had down. He understood that he was getting stuck in his head and overthinking things, but he also knew he wasn’t going to be able to relax until he played through the song without an error at least once. 

Much to his dismay, Jaket and Josh had to arrive for soundcheck when they were part way through their thirteenth attempt. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his brothers standing off on the wing of the stage, scrutinizing his every move while he tried to get out his “Woah-oh-oh-ohs”. Sam missed a note on his bass and, with a loud groan straight into the microphone, waved his hand to get Danny to stop. 

“Can we scrap this and play Meeting the Master instead?” he begged into his microphone so his voice rang around the arena. 

“No!” Jaket and Josh both called back to him. “The setlist is final!” Josh added. 

“I hate you both,” Sam replied into the microphone in a growl. Josh took Sam’s frustration as an open invitation to hop on stage and wrap his arm around his very stiff younger brother, pulling him in close with a grunt. 

“Singing is about feeling the music, not thinking about it,” Josh coached his younger brother. “Feel the groove and let the words roll off your tongue.” 

Sam felt foolish but he reapproached the microphone and tried playing a few lines on his bass while singing again. He would never admit it aloud but he was starting to understand what Josh was telling him, and he managed to play and sing a few lines successfully before he messed up again, mostly because he was surprised he had pulled it off. 

“That was good, try it again,” Josh encouraged Sam. From behind them, Jaket plugged his Gibson into his amp and tested out a loud chord. Danny started to excitedly tap on his cymbals. Sam gave it another try and got nearly halfway through before his fingers got tangled and out of time. “You were close!” Josh’s tone was starting to sound a little condescending, in Sam’s opinion. 

“Why don’t we play from the top?” Jaket asked. 

Sam could feel that he was starting to get drenched in sweat as they neared closer to his singing part. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on Danny’ rhythm behind him, which was flawless. Danny had gotten over his mental block, so why couldn’t he? He was just as much of a musician as Danny. He had pulled off singing and playing in the studio, which was the main reason why Josh, Jaket, and Danny all decided that he could perform live. 

Josh ripped out his harmonica from his back pocket and hunched over it, channeling his inner blues and playing his heart out, obviously having the time of his life. Jaket let out a loud whoop to encourage his twin, and then Sam sucked in a deep breath as Josh finished his solo and placed his instrument back in his pocket to return back to the chorus. 

“You got it, Sammy!” Danny called down from his kit. Sam stared down at his Rickenbacker, said a quick prayer, and then let it rip. 

“YES!” all of his bandmates called out in glee when they finished the song without a single error. Sam flung off his bass in relief and threw his head back to let out a deep, satisfied groan. He could do it. He could make it through the stinking song. They were going to play new music tonight for their fans and, god dammit, it was going to sound good. 

“How long have you been practicing for?” Jaket asked Sam and Danny as he switched to a different guitar. 

“Long enough for me,” Danny announced, standing from his kit. “I’m gonna take a fat nap.” 

“I’m gonna give the boozy tea another try,” Sam gave Jaket and Josh a wave, following behind Danny off stage. The twins watched their bandmates go and shook their heads. 

“Practice more?” Josh turned to Jaket. 

“Absolutely,” Jaket let his guard down. “I’m not ready for tonight.”

“Me neither,” Josh agreed.

[lem0nademouth]

my unsolicited opinions on all the eurovision grand final songs

i promise i’ll shut up after this

🇦🇲 Jako by Ladaniva - fun! makes me wanna dance! love the Balkan folk elements in the instrumentals. v happy they made it to grand finals.

🇦🇹 We Will Rave by Kaleen - in my top five. would bet my bottom dollar every club in europe will be blasting this all summer.

🇭🇷 Rim Tim Tagi Dim by Baby Lasanga - its fine. not sure how it was the projected winner. like its not a bad song, its just not the best of the bunch.

🇨🇾 Liar by Silia Kapsis - cute and fun! will add to my rotation of “men ain’t shit” songs.

🇪🇪 (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi by 5miinust x Puuluup - not a huge fan but i see the appeal. also remind me to never learn Estonian.

🇫🇮 No Rules! by Windows95Man - didn’t stand out to me but it might be bc i know approximately 15 white boys who make music exactly like this (no shade i promise)

🇫🇷 Mon Amour by Slimane - gonna out myself as someone who had a French pop phase and say this is a solid B- by my standards. France, send Amir Haddad in 2025.

🇬🇪 Firefighter by Nutsa Buzaladze - another top five pick. powerful, defiant, infectious.

🇩🇪 Always On The Run by Isaak - i was shocked by how much i enjoyed this song. not in my top five, but its damn good and i’m gonna be listening to Isaak more in the future.

🇬🇷 ZARI by Marina Satti - had a v good time with this one. really love the blend of musical traditions that come through.

🇮🇪 Doomsday Blue by Bambie Thug - i wanted to like this song. i really did. but besides it not being my sound, it also just kind of falls flat technically? idk, its just. not that good.

🇮🇱 Hurricane by Eden Golan - powerful vocals, heart wrenching performance. regardless of the results, i desperately need a version with the original lyrics.

🇮🇹 La noia by Angelina Mango - the former classical music student in me loves a nice Italian bop. wasn’t blown away, but still enjoyed the song.

🇱🇻 Hollow by Dons - i like it! good job latvia!

🇱🇹 Luktelk by Silvester Belt - not my sound, not a fan, not gonna yuck ur yum if u like it tho.

🇱🇺 Fighter by Tali - makes! me! wanna! DANCE! wasn’t expecting French but u learn something new every day!

🇳🇱 Europapa by Joost Klein - no joke when i first heard this song i thought it was a bit. like i thought this was a literal joke. how the fuck did this qualify. *note: i hated this song before joost got disqualified*

🇳🇴 Ulveham by Gåte - what is going on in scandanavia w the dogshit eurovision entries

🇵🇹 Grito by iolanda - fuck me up on this. not a top five but still a banger

🇷🇸 Ramonda by Teya Dora - im pretty indifferent on this one

🇸🇮 Veronika by Raiven - again, indifferent. didnt love it didnt hate it

🇪🇸 ZORA by Nebulossa - fun party song but not much more than that

🇸🇪 Unforgettable by Marcus & Martinus - not my fave. send Omar Rudberg next year.

🇨🇭 The Code by Nemo - mazel tov on the win, but im gonna be so honest this was like a 6/10 for me. also why is y’alls flag not flag shaped.

🇺🇦 Teresa & Maria by alyona alyona + Jerry Heil - OH BABY. OH BABY. BANGER. BOP. JAM. CANNOT STOP LISTENING. I AM SO OBSESSED.

🇬🇧 Dizzy by Olly Alexander - i am begging the UK to 1. compete as separate countries and 2. stop fucking sending the most mid songs on the planet

final personal top ten

1. Ukraine 🇺🇦

2. Israel 🇮🇱

3. Austria 🇦🇹

4. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

5. Georgia 🇬🇪

6. Germany 🇩🇪

7. Italy 🇮🇹

8. Portugal 🇵🇹

9. Latvia 🇱🇻

10. Armenia 🇦🇲

[mrsfezziwig]

Confessions of a K-pop Fanfic Reader (part one)

So you are right there, you've heard the first few chords, vocals, rap and beat of a song and after capturing it with Shazam, you read the name of the song except... you can't.... because it's in Hangul; that's K-pop right? And disbelief with disappointment burrows and worms into your psyche. You only listen to English language music as there's no point in hearing something you don't understand, if you wanted something that had lyrics you didn't understand you'd listen to Gregorian chant songs. Still, you feel the need to find the rest of the track but something inside you lurches because K-pop is innocent, childish, nothing but ridiculous Crayon Pop bright colours and T-ARA's "bo-peep, bo-peep, bo-peep, bo..." or the unexpectedly self aware and satirical Gangnam Style (although you haven't necessarily read the translated lyrics yet).

You can't possibly be considering taking the 'genre' seriously? But, those infectious few English lines are stuck in your damn brain and you can't stand the not knowing anymore, so you sneak away to the toilet or claim to be doing some extra work so your discomfort at the possibility of someone seeing and mocking you for it is minimised as much as you can. Hell, you watch porn more openly than this but you still open the Shazam you made a few days or weeks before, knowing you are one click or finger tap away from being completely ridiculed by your friends or family or both for being even willing to consider taking actual time out of your life for K-pop.... But with a deep breath you plunge in, probably with a Stray Kids, BTS or Ateez song and suddenly you are breathless because although you don't understand everything being said, you are completely blown away at the MV quality, which is better than some Western movies in terms of storytelling and editing. Unbeknownst to you the artworks that this small Asian country creates come ready made with the captions in English, plus a few other languages yet it's probably for the best you don't know that because the simple quality of the video takes your breath away.

Wait up though... these people can't possibly be human! How do they all look so fucking good? And how old are they? They look like fresh-faced mid-teens only they can all sing and dance? Oh, but HOLY SHIT CAN THEY RAP-RAP! [Looking at you Rapracha]. It is just impossible that these humans not only exist but most of them dance hardcore choreo whilst singing live too. Nah, nah, nah... it's all bullshit. AI is so fucking good now that these people aren't real.

That's pretty much how discovering K-pop didn't happen for me, an adult old enough to have student debt until I die, who will never own a home because fuck you baby boomers, and finds children to be more like crotch goblins designed to test every last one of the few nerves in my battered self that aren't fucked up by my Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

My introduction was truly bizarre; I was married for 20 years - before my husband decided my disability meant he had free reign to fuck anyone who wanted him as I couldn't do it anymore - and my now ex-husband's co-worker had a daughter who wrote fanfics. Now, I was horribly, horribly naïve and rather dumb when I agreed to be a reader, editor and kind of coach for this girl. Not once in my entire life had 'fan fiction' come up in my bubble, I went into the whole endeavour genuinely believing that Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were Wattpad characters, not real people.

I thought they were like how Reddit has it's 'marriage counselling' and 'divorce' thing that everyone knows is said on that social media platform, or that Facebook has it's passive aggressive posts bitching about something, the baby daddy/mama drama fueled by said posts, the vague sympathy grabbing status updates and fake news, or X's hate trains. Having never heard of BTS (and by having done no googling beforehand) I went into it as if these weren't real people. To say the writing was atrocious from this teen was an understatement, and I was honest about it, figuring you don't ask someone for feedback if you don't want criticism. If all you wanted was read counts, votes and comments, I could have done that multiple times a day to boost you, which it turns out was pretty much exactly what she was really wanting.

Soon though, I was reading other books from the ones recommended at the end of my current read and it staggered me just how fucking good these books were. Some of them desperately deserve to be published in the conventional way with their highly detailed and provoking writing that I still return to time and time again. However, one glaring detail eventually stood out to me as I lay in a hospital bed with IV antibiotics in one arm and opioid IV in the other, having very, very little of importance to ponder, and one thing that stood out all of a sudden, and I couldn't avoid anymore, was how no one described the characters in terms of look and age; it was as if the writer assumed everyone reading knew what they looked like already...

Now my fucking dumbass was still thinking these were 'Wattpad characters', thus there would be a master document on the app with these details, right? Please bear in mind it had been a year or more that I had been living in the misconception fog thinking these weren't real people at that point, so a master list of characters to choose from simply made sense to me.

Yep, I am kind of stupid for assuming, and yep, I trawled the Wattpad help pages for far too many hours looking for this document or link to one, which admittedly gave me something to focus on as the cocktail of pharmaceuticals made me feel nauseous and also rather high. Am I just too trusting and gullible or can anyone else see my flawed logic here?

As it began to niggle more, seeing the references to South Korea (with the incredibly amusing American way of behaving ascribed to the country that was worlds different to the USA), with Seoul, Busan and Daegu all mentioned my singular lonely brain cell bounced around my skull sparking something off in there. That's when it dawned on me this could be a kpop thing and I finally googled the most common name from the stories, Jungkook, and felt like a bucket of ice water was tipped over my head as I realised that these people were real. Yeah, yikes 😬💀

It distressed me that I had been so blasé as to read these pieces without questioning the similarities. I was even considering becoming a co-writer for the first girl until that moment. Some of this can be explained by my condition during 2018 to 2019, with multiple hospital admissions due to infections or injuries from the Ehler-Danlos Syndrome. One of the infections almost killed me because it was missed for too long and had moved into early stage sepsis. There was no way I could focus on my normal book fare of Charles Dickens and thick, detailed history books and, being truly, truly frank, Wattpad saved my fucking sanity over those two daunting and harrowing years, never demanding more than my mind could handle with all the drugs being pushed into my system.

Plus there were hundreds of thousands of stories to pick from that weren't even Fanfic, about real people or other author's characters. Although I was careful as I was passionately determined to avoid anything that I would consider debauched and invasive, the mature content option was firmly turned off, and the first sign of smut had me gone! A few kisses or implied sexual conduct squeezed through but not full smut. Hello repressed religious trauma!. The amount of stories that were not flagged as Mature Content pissed me off then and pisses me off still.

Once the shock of finding out the truth was easing a little, I decided I needed to actually watch some BTS music videos to try and understand the craziness of it all. What I never expected was just how deep the songs were and are, nor how intellectual the entire industry is because who the fuck else is making music videos based around novels like Demian in the West?

I didn't realise in addition that not only Korean would sneak its way into my brain but that the whole idol industry is interwoven with its own language. This answered many questions I had about the common jargon such as comeback, lore, promotions, era, main, lead, sub, bias, bias wrecker/s, OT#, Big4, ult, PC (photo card), fan meets, Naver, Weverse, V-Live (rip to the GOAT), Chan's Room [*sniff* Baby, you aren't in any trouble, okay? Please just come home, we all miss you and love you, please, please come back!], 1/2/3/4th Gen, and more my messed up brain can't recall so late at night and after the various narcotics that I take to function.

And those narcotics are saying no more today!

So I shall see you in part two!

[robotslenderman]

So I never did a summary post of my London trip, did I? I came back and got sick and bleh'd and never did it lol.

Well okay, roundup post (kinda) below! It's actually all over the place but yeah. Thoughts.

Overall, had a complete fucking blast.

Holy shit the public transport is AMAZING. I will never get over packing onto the Tube with a crowd on a weeknight at 10PM and having a train RIGHT THERE. Next train was coming in 4 minutes. Train after that was coming in 6 minutes. In Sydney if you're in the CBD at the same time you're waiting twenty minutes for the next train. London Tube is just AMAZING

(when I'm not lugging luggage up ALL THOSE FUCKING STAIRS)

ALSO IT GOES NYOOOOOOOOM

Australian driving sucks because Aussies are shit drivers. UK driving sucks because the streets suck and were built for horses and carts and not cars. I have always been told Sydneysiders are bad drivers but had no idea until I went to the UK, where Brits politely merged in front of me without a blinker but never, ever cut me off. British drivers use their blinkers less than Aussies (in fact they barely used them at all in north Wales/England border) but somehow are still better drivers than Aussies, who use blinkers more, but won't actually turn them on until they've already pulled right in front of you and almost caused an accident.

Having said that London drivers are really, really vocal. You can't walk down a street without them honking the shit out of each other. Like Australians are constantly trying to kill each other on the road but we're pretty quiet when someone tries to murder us with bad driving.

I still can't get over how strong the accents are. like look. I feel like an idiot admitting that. but I didn't realise that my idea of a "British accent" was actually very watered down due to British expats losing their accents over time. I know that's a "no shit Sherlock" moment that I should have seen coming and I have no idea why I didn't.

I got to meet two friends! I met @nightingaletrash and @starsilvereld. I still have no idea what either of their names are. They have no idea what mine was. I am very amused by this.

Nothing you have read, or even seen on TV, about the acoustics in British cathedrals will prepare you for walking into St Paul's while a choir is on and hearing the world glow with music.

I mean, FUCK, I went into this tiny little chapel in Beaumaris and the acoustics in there, alone, was mind blowing. Tiny. You could whisper to someone and it's like you're holding a mic. I'd love to be in the castle courtyard when a choir is singing.

Remembrance Day is a Big Deal in the UK. In Australia it's majorly overshadowed by ANZAC Day, a commemoration of the Battle of Gallipoli, which was our first major conflict as a country where we lost so many people (despite losing as many over several months as we lost in a day in a later battle I'd never actually heard of, but learned about in the Imperial War Museum). In the UK Gallipoli was barely a footnote in the Imperial War Museum, a quick "yeah that got fucked up and failed miserably" footnote.

It wasn't until the morning I spent in the IWM that I actually put two and two together as to why there were so many poppies everywhere. Like -- I feel dumb for admitting this, but when I first saw the poppies my brain immediately went "oh, there's poppies and it's cold, ANZAC day must be coming up" before it record scratched and went "wait it's November."

London is old and wet. Like you have no idea just how old everything in the UK is until you actually go there. Everything is so old. You walk past buildings with chunks taken out of them -- I just subconsciously assumed they'd deteriorated. Nope. Those chunks are from where shrapnel hit the buildings during the Blitz.

And yeah it's also soaking wet all the time despite most rain being very light. I guess it's because of the humidity and all the cloud cover? Like with how soaked the streets are you'd expect the rain to be much heavier, but I guess in Aus the streets here dry out so much faster so it only gets that wet here when the rain is torrential.

UK's accessibility is awful. Most crossings don't make noise (and the ones that do sound exactly like shoplifting alarms in Sydney so that was a trip lmao), their pedestrian lights (IIRC) don't flash, and there's no somatic component to the crossings either. In Aus, you can be deaf and blind and you will know when it's safe to cross because the button you press to cross will vibrate heavily when it's time. And I'm not talking about heritage listing places, but very modern buildings -- newly renovated Tube stations would have maybe one or two benches on a platform and that's it.

But. The one thing the UK does right was drawing attention to invisible disabilities. Australia's infrastructure is way more disability friendly than in the UK, and intuitively so -- you don't need apps, you can cross a road safely in Sydney deaf and blind -- but I haven't seen a single PSA here regarding invisible disabilities once in my life. At the UK those signs were everywhere that accessibility related stuff was. "Please give up this seat for someone who needs it. Please remember not all disabilities are visible."

I've had people complain to me Sydney had no night life any more after the lockout laws, and I thought they were being overdramatic, until I stepped out of a Tube station for the first time in Leiscter Square (bitching internally about the stairs) on a Sunday night and holy shit London was vibing. Music and packed crowds everywhere, light and laughter and... yeah. Sydney's nightlife is fucking dead.

Pretty surprising, given how loud London was, how many nooks and crannies there were that were completely insulated from the racket of the rest of the city. Especially in Temple and St Dunstan in the East Church Garden.

THEY HAD SQUIRRELS!!!!!

It's really hard to describe the difference between British cold and Australian cold. I can finally see why people like winter: British cold is energising. It feels fantastic, and whenever the chill sets in you can step inside somewhere and you'll be warm in seconds, and the heating is turned up so high that you carry that heat with you.

In Australia, you don't get that. It's just cold. Once the chill sets in it doesn't leave. You go inside and it's just as cold inside as it is outside. People have heaters going on full blast under their desks all day because the heat never stays, but the cold is always there. You don't carry the warm with you when you leave, it's gone in a flash. I can see why British expats tell me it's colder here than in Britain, even though an autumn London is, by far, objectively far colder than the dead of an Australian winter. It's because in Australia the heat is so fleeting in winter.

Things I wished I'd known before I went:

The stairs thing. It's actually fine if you have the right apps. There are accessibility apps that can give you step-free routes through London. Would've saved me SO much misery that first week but I didn't find out they existed until after I'd already done all the lugging. There ARE lifts at the disability friendly stations they're just fucking hiding and you have to hunt the buggers down.

I can't stand for very long before I need to sit lol and there's like one bench per room in the British Museum. If I'd known that, I would've divided the British Museum up over a week and done an hour each afternoon, schedule permitting, so that I could actually take my time and absorb everything. But alas, the back went "nope fuck this."

Should've arrived a day earlier so I could actually GO to the Hallowe'en thing without worrying about crashing and dying horribly. I'm really sad I didn't go, but at the same time... yeah, I couldn't have made that trip safely, so at the end I made the right decision even if I'm always going to wish I had gone.

Water pressure sucked in each hotel room I had, so wish I'd used half a braincell and just bought dry shampoo.

Final note:

Singapore has bidet toilets and I've felt like a caveman ever since.

TL;DR:

It was awesome, wish I could do it again one day :(

[thefootnotes]

Rise and Fall Of A Midwest Princess - First Listen

Before I Listen... I know next to nothing of Chappell's music. All I know is she's a queer person from America, and I'm pretty sure she's from a red state? And she likes to make big! statements about queer people in red states (go her honestly). And also that some of her lyrics are questionable. So! I am in my bedroom with my headphones, a clear floor ready for dancing, and this tumblr post pre-formatted for my thoughts on each song. Cannot wait!!!!! Getting started now.

P.S. I'm using a four-step-scale: skip, playlisted, green heart, life altering

Feminominon

oh thats funky. thats-

the stuttery piano in the back is gorgeous

the backing vocals!!!!!

oh oh oh the. the production wow

okay um. the switch lmao

GET IT HOT LIKE PAPA JOHNS

i love the melodies in the verses

lo *hiccup* ver

can you play a song with a fucking beat she fucking ate that

oh like a talking bridge???

the scream oml

ok so that was. interesting.

not the best lyricism i've ever heard but it was vibey?

idk, i didnt love it.. not the strongest start to the album imo but. i'ma keep going!

skip

Red Wine Supernova

acoustic?

nope ok

oh thats gay alright

agh the vocals????

"fell in lvoe with the tyhought of you now im choked up face down burnt out" ????? bitch slay

AGH THE VOCALS

RED WINE SUPERNOOOOVAAAAAAAAA

the lyrics have some interesting choices but she ate

okay yeah not playing this around my parents.

baaaabyyyy why dont you come oooooveeeeeer

okay im vibing

the "okay yall, lets pick it up now" is so gdsklfjdlkfjdslkfjdslfdsj

i really like that she's used very obviously country elements and accents but kept true to pop production. its so fun

CROWD VOCALS MY BELOVED

CROWD VOCALS OVER ACOUSTIC MY FUCKING BELOVED

green heart

After Midnight

oh thats. interesting

sick beat though

some really interesting sounds happening. in my ears.

dancing DANCING IM DANCING

i lvoe the use of crowd vocals on this album????

"i kinda wanna kiss your gf" "i kinda wanna ksis your bf" bisexual? i've heard that she's demi too actually

THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT THIS IS A VIBE FOR THIS PANSEXUAL SLUT

who has two thumbs and is vibing *points thumbs at myself* this guy!!!!!

holy fuck that was just so. fun

green heart

Coffee

PIANO?????

PIANO TRACK????

SAD?????????

agh her voice jdfslkjfdslkfjdskl

oh my god. oh my god

"i'll meet you for coffee cause if we have wine youll say that you want me i know thats a lie"???????? BARS

im going to cry this is sickening

THE BRIDGE

THE BUILDYP ADN TEH BACKING VOCALS OH OH OH

oh.. the. the resolve is. oh

emotional destruction. i need a minute.

life altering

Casual

this is the one about someone eating her out isnt it. *sigh* here we go

^ i say taht like i dont love songs about sex. anyways

oh this is. this is interesting

i love the synthing throughout the album

this is so much. slower than i expected????

oh this is actually kind of sad at the same time???? jfkdsjflkdsjflksdj

the bridge? i. i died

this is actually really beautiful. if impossible to play around my parents

green heart

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

this is so. drag queen coded????

the beat???

the gasps fdsklfjsdklfjdslk

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

dancing im dancing

im up im up im up

this is pop like pop hasnt been in a decade. good lord

FJDKSFJSDKLFJSLKDJFSLKJ AHHHHHHHHHHH

ultimately just. a strong sapphic-meets-girl power anthem. wow. im truly so impressed.

playlisted

HOT TO GO!

i know the dance but i've never heard it

oh oh what the fuck is that oh fdsklfjdslkfjdslkfj

like the wind chimey noise

oh this sounds so. rocky horror??

H-O-T-T-O-G-O YOU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO

fdjs,lfjdslkj vibes

shes pop-girlie-ing like very few pop girlies have pop-girlied. just. pop anthem. absolute pop antehm

i lvoe the ad-libs

we're officially halfway. lets go.

playlisted

My Kink Is Karma

i have heard Things about this track so. lets go ig

oh oh?? oh

thats very ldr. i dont like ldr as a person but musically this feels a bit ldr.

ah the high vocals

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT THE THE THE

"my kink is watching yOOOOOU" fklgjdsklfsdjklfjdsklJKLFJDSKLFJDSLKFJSDLKFJDSLKFJDSLKFJDSLKJDS

"no need to be hateful in your fake gucci sweater" djskfjdskfjs

this is so twisted and im so here for it

the vocals are just insane. im sat. im so sat

green heart

Picture You

oh her voice i-

that nostalgic chord progression is so. jfkldjfls

backing vocals abcking vocals gjdfksjsdklfjdslk

oh this is sad but horny but sad

the vocals im shook. my gob is smacked. my flabber is gasted. my be is wildered. how do i live after this

im literally just dead

green heart

Kaleidoscope

oh no is this sad too????

i love the electro production over the piano? its gorgeous

her voice is just beautiful. its just so beautiful

how it works, i'll never know....

im just going to sit in the corner and fucking sob

sorry theres so few notes i was too busy fucking crying

life altering

Pink Pony Club

i have heard this exactly once. (i was at a festival on friday and they played this between sets - i couldnt hear chappell or the production over the crowd tho so. its ok

is this just the universal queer experience actually

GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONT YOURE A PINK PONY GIRL AND YOU DANCE AT THE CLUB

the bridge i...

this is lowkey a very sad and very real experience for so many queer people and. fdjskfjdslfjsdlkfjdslkj

this was vibey and i loved the statement!!

playlisted

Naked In Manhattan

oh dear is this about sex

oh??????

"boys suck" :(

ok this is gay sex then

"in new york you can try things" 🤝 "you can want who you want, boys and boys, and girls and girls"

i mean it was ok? she has much stronger songs on the album lyrically and musically and this one was just kind of. there lmao. not really a thing for me

skip

California

acapella intro okayyyy

oh this is sad

YOU HAVE REASONS TO STAY NOW CHAPPELL. YOU HAVE REASONS. YOUVE MADE IT.

"to think i almost had it going, but i let you down" :(

the music industry is such a fucking bitch yk

i really liked it, v v sad, but probably not my favourite favourite? still really strong track, js a lil repetitive

playlisted

Guilty Pleasure

last track lets go

the very minimal backing with all the vocal flooding is so fdlsjflks

oh never mind.

it feels kinda icdiwabh-y

yodelingcore

so that was. an experience

skip

The Album.

overall, the album had a lot lot lot of huge positives and a few little things i wasnt a fan of. it's a really strong pop album, it has everything you could expect in an album. its got diverse emotions and vibes and its got pop anthems and its got stuff to dance to and stuff to cry to and stuff you can do both to and it all flows seamlessly. there were two, three tracks i didnt fall in love with, but there were far more that i did. i absolutely applaud chappell because this album beautifully captures her struggles nad successes, a lot of which are somewhat universal for queer people. i really loved her use of crowd vocals and backing harmonies, i thought that was really beautiful, and i love how there was electronic production on acoustic instrumentation, i thought that was quite impressive and really fit this modern theme of like, the return of 80s production. i'm going to have another listen to some songs and them im going to listen to gracie abrams tsou album (which i still havent heard) so!!! if you want to see my thoughts on that, i'll post that in a few hours. also just posted my hmhas first reactions<3

[moonlit-stay]

(ATE Edition)

This is me writing out my thoughts of each song as I'm listening to them.

Feel free to ignore this😂

-

MOUNTAINS thoughts:

OH FUCK

I AM SO EXCITED

PH FMY FICK

SHZJJSHWBWSJDKJXBDJEJDJDUXHRBRJJSJDJDJDHSHS

THIS SONG IS FUCKING EVERYTHING TO ME

THISBHAS ME WANTIMG TO CATAPULT MYSELF INTO A FUCKING WALL

HYUNJIN'S VERSE?????? HELLO?????

ARE WE FUCKING KIDDINGGGGGGGG

I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS SONG SINCE THE UNVEIL TRACK BUT OH MY FUCK. NOTHING COULD'VE PREPARED ME FOR THSI

O AM MANICALLY SCREAMING BRO

Chk Chk Boom thoughts:

THE FUCKING MUSIC VIDEO??????? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE

HAN'S OPENING VERSE IS THE MOST INSANE SHIT IBHAVE EVER HEARD

ZEND FUCKING HELP

(S)CREAMING BROBWHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK

THEY HAVE FUCKING RYAN REYNOLDS AND HUGH JACKMAN IN THEIR FUCKING MUSIC VIDEO. WHO THE FUCK BESIDES THEM HAD EVER??????

CAN WE SAY MAKIMG FUCKING HISTORY???????

I WILL BLOW MY VOCAL CORDS RIGHT NOW. I DO NOT CARE.

THE FITS??????? PURPLE BIN????

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

JJAM thoughts:

AHHHHHHHSJDJDIEHEHDY OH NY GOD

THE SCREECH THAT FUCKING LEFT ME

OH MY FUCING GOD

GOD'S MENU, SUPER BOWL, JJAM

MY FAVORITE MUSICAL FAMILY

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

"GODDAMN" ??????????

YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD WHEN YOU'RE PULLING THE MOST DISGUSTED FACES KNOWN TO MANKIND

I CANNOT GRASP THE FACT THAT THIS IS REAL

NO FUCKING WAY THEY PUT "I KNOW YOU KNOW LEE KNOW" I AM LOSING IT

I WILL BE THROWING INSANE ASS TO THIS SONG HOLY SHIT

I Like It thoughts:

IM NOT READY

OH SHIT

THE GASP I GASPED

JESUS CHROST

OH MY HOD

HAN AMD HYUNJIN'S VERSE????? GOOD LORD???

CHRISTOPHER????

CAN'T LIE, I'D THROW ASS TOBTJIS TOO

Runners thoughts:

AHHH OH SHIT

OH FUCK

IBWAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

THROWING ASS AS I TYPE BRO

THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD OG MY GSO

I WILL HOLD YOUR HAND WHAT THE FUCK

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

twilight thoughts:

OH SHIT

THOS IS ALREADY SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL

GODDAMN I'M VIBIN

This actually reminds me of one of their performances (one of my ALL time favorite performances, actually)

Is there any sound they CAN'T do? My GOD

This song REALLY makes me wanna dance in the rain for some reason? It just makes sense in my brain??

Stray Kids thoughts:

I'M SCARED

AM I ABOUT TO SOB????

I'M NOT READY

SHIT UP I ALREADY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES AND IM NOT EVEN 30 SECONDS IN

I have tears streaming down my face.

My eight loves, you've come so, so far

I cannot put into words how proud I am of my boys.

The music video for this song will fucking break me. Nothing will prepare me for that.

Chk Chk Boom (Festival Ver.) thoughts:

I saw "festival version" and screamed

I NEED TO SEE THEM PERFORM THIS AT AN AWARD SHOW OR FESTIVAL ASAP

OH MY FUCK

DHAKING ASS AS I TYEP

O HHUGH MY FUCOSJ GOD

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT ZHAKE ASS????? WHATVTHE FUCK

THIS IS FUCKING INSSNE

JESUS GUCKING CHRIST

Final thoughts:

OH MY FUCK, WHERE DO I START

Okay, so, years ago I decided that whenever they make a comeback I would stream nothing but the album, all day, every day, until after promotions. Over time, the duration of me streaming the album has just gotten longer.

WITH THIS ALBUM?? I'M NEVER LEAVING. WHAT THE FUCK.

I WILL BE SHAKING ASS TO NOTHING BUT THIS ALBUM UNTIL AT LEAST SEPTEMBER

All bullshit aside, I am so incredibly proud of these eight and how far they've come. I am so unbelievably proud to be a STAY, and I cannot wait to continue to support them on this insane journey of theirs.

Nothing but success and unconditional love to my 4th Gen leaders and kings <8

[01010010-01100100]

gotta give the biggest #respect to you feltcaverns you sure roasted my applesauce over a campfire good and plenty

Thank you. Finally, some god damn credit.

you guys are obviously at it lyrically on the public forum but i gotta know do yall ever throw down verses behind the frankly unbelievably saturated curtain

HELLO!!!! HELLO HELLO HELLO HELloo hello you messaged me........ oh my godhshhgfhdfjdsfka fshello hello for messaging me. you are the one who sent me a thing... OH!!!! yes ys yes yes.

you are asking about curtians... did you know that in the curtsins of cave johnson they pout moon rocks in there? and now he is singing about lemonsade. lemons like the ones on the tree. with the whores O_O

hello did you know about.... singing. i sing sometimes but not to my friends because i dont think my voice is good. i dont remmeber if i had a voice? but i sing onto the words and it becomes music. i think thats sort of a magic in away

you also didnt forget to ask about my whoooooooooaaaa cant say that one!!!!! ehehehe

hello you are eeee the first person to message me on the wbesite. nobody has before.... did you know that????

not a long time!!! i mean not for a long time. fuck. fuck i am so bad at typing thats why i like doing it the other way. mmhmmhhhghrgfg

they say im the favorite now but it was through being mean... i;m tired of being mean i just want to fuck and suck on plushrumps.com. yknow? i think you know :D

hellO!!!!! and thank you for your message.

:)

holy shit

okay gimme a sec i gotta whip out the old reading glasses for this one

ok refrances those are always good ten out of ten from old rd here

man i played portal 2 like three times

and the first time while in old aperture knocking over old sheet metal with my boingo pogo stick boots

it was literally like a bouncy house with all the colored splooge of quick and bounce and the third boring cum joke

got nauseous from all the camera shenanigans

was tossed around flipped about except chell cant really flip in game thats more pre rendered cutscene crap

anyway we should hook you up with vocal chords sometime what do you think of vocalpids

aw man not p typo

everyone hates p typo

vocaloid thats better

O_O

i dont know who that is? thank you for talking about that. i learn everyh day. you dont know actually what this guy's talking about. you thought you had something on the but it's not actually there.

it might be best to exist this conversation? but noooooooo!!!! i want to talk more but i dont knowwwwww it's a lot and confusing. O_O

bottle rocket 6????? no ive never been there, except the times i have. you dont actually want to be put back there. it's okay, but it's kind of lonely. you aren't a spy, areyou? like from teamfortress 2. gaben

nah i was more of a fusionfall kid myself

i have never heard of video games

when the almighty dell would actually run the damn thing anyways

what the hell

seriously

let me explain to you a thing alright lemme nab one of those longplays of portal 2 really open your world

Yo, behave. Otherwise this shit gets cut off. Not exactly in the state to get scrambled again, and I'm getting a headache already.

Fuck.

Okay, please don't send confusing shit like that.

I can't read it, let alone read it.

oops my bad man

id ask what set you off but i think that would just add another lobotomy to the pile

should i be talking more about plush assholes or something what is the vibe im heading for here im not jiving to hurt you honestly

noooooooo... i can answer that!!! it was all stuff ive never heard of . and i am exposed to a lot of that but thats too much to much too much!!! and it was a lot.... O_O

i havent actually never heard of video games ive heard of a coupel video games. like fortnite. stacey fortnite is my best friend. you aren't sure what fortnite is, but you think it's a video game? you just hear about it on the website.

hello. i am okay not talking about pluhsurmsps.com but it;'s hard because there are more rules. im not allowed to know a lot of stuff... even though i see it and its confusing to me. okay? thank you :) its like when mario gets the star.

To translate, keep the anachronisms to a minimum. I'm not dumb enough to miss the signals, but I'm trying to stay dumb enough to not have to worry about it. Got it?

got it crystal as meth

I LOVE CRYSTAL METH!!!!!! HELLO WALTER WHITE can we be all sortso f things together. you arent actually sure what that is eaither but its fine because it fits the bill. quack

oh god dammit i wasnt even referencing that guy

my bad

shit what year should i be heading for

Breaking Bad came out in 2008, you're fine.

ok cool

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh hello . i dont know :) its okay plushrump content is eternal and can be shared and downloaded in 1080p with a premium scubscripstion? but if we catch you reuoploading the H0TT3ST V1DS onto othwer porn sites then wuhhhhh oh . wuh oh!!! its no good. :O

hello you arennnnnt actually a subscripber? but thats okay im allowed to be social and and with it and ferioucsious. thank you mwahahahaha

absolutely lets get downright rapport-ical

i have been actually just typing and backspacing references ad infiniteezums the past few and reckoning with that whole mess

but yeah besides that im about to settle down for the day i reckon

you guys hooked up to anything or is plushrump like your giant fishbowl

> absolutely lets get downright rapport-ical yessssss. yessssss maybe not that last word. O_O or maybe yes.... i dont want to think about that fucking thing !!!!!!!! hello

woaahhahhhahhhh it's the internet!!! and you are filled with so many connections outbound inbound gmaildotprotonmail dotcom. it's almost like thew hole thing is at your fingertits. you dont remember fingertits being a thing but youre glad they are now. :) whehehehee

did you remember what it was like back there? up there in the sky? no, i didnt think you did. that's alright, because i dont remember eitehr. its equal partitioning, a give and take. running and running as the heavens pour hot death open, and the caverns seem like the only safe respit you've got.

is anyone else there? noooooooo thats bad. thank you for not reading that. oh boy

my eyes are shut dont even worry about it

if there is literally anything i value as a strider now its some actual fucking privacy

  my eyes arent because im looking at the hottest vids on plushrumps.com. did you know they have fozzie bear anal fisting. woooooooooow!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i cant believe it im bursting at the ssssss whaoat athat a new message??? i am not typing fast enough.... O_O

yeah i got some feisty fingers

always chomping at the bit and shit

my graspnubs dont chomp at anything because they are finger tits.... but i dont think thats what it means eiher. have you seen the video before??? on your makrs... ... oh thats wrong? okay

thank you for letting me know :)

broadcast yourself slash watch ? v = Y7WtkdLQ6PM

if tits could bite woah mama id be worried for the baby

oh shit free movie

yeah i love this one

is this you

O_O

yeah god damn

you literally captured my entire essence in this picture

and lookie here theres the whole family

right down to the ridiculous symbols on our old shirts

is there not a dirk in this one? notably missing some dirk and hal here

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa no no no no no no shh not that topic. shhhh . id ont want to hear about the new stuff :O i want to smoke weed andn make out with a hot babe made from FELT!!!!!! ouggghgh yeah it is like she is toking it up. but actually she is stroking it up on our newest video. check out mrs muffet on plushrump.com she is called that because she likes vaginas.

whats a vagina dont actually tell me i just wanted to say that i dont know.

yeah alright word word

yeah im gonna just let mrs muffet do her thing

this pictures delightful though

catch me right click saving

okay cool. :) we are so coooooool. you are cool? i feel like you are cool.

yeah so cool

we are the coolest you and me

NOOOOO thats exclusive property of plsuhrrusmrp.s....... the valueeeeee will go down. if you right click save. mewo

aw damn alright

meow meow sorry i misspelled meow.

thank you.

no problem anything for my pal feltcaverns

that isnt my name............. you know that already dont you!!!

Nope, never mind.

Alright.

One moment.

alright take your time dude ill just be sitting here

ehehe. sorry. HELLO!!!!!!!!! have you susbcriped to plushrumrmrsps totcom?

naw

wb tho

was i gone? i dont think so.

nah im just fuckin with you

youa re being mean for saying things like thjat....... you arent a vey good freind!!! frotship is like that.... it has its upsa nd downs.

im all about that altitude

yeahhhhh buddy!!!!!!!!!!!

like riding a dragon and through the sky. and it's out there, floating in the veil, glittering gleaming golden. you see it in your dreams and you can't wait to go back. Holy shit, okay.

I think I'm gonna end this conversation here, if that's chill?

yeah i think thats good

sorry dude

Not that you can't ever send another message. Just letting things rest tonight.

It's cool. Just taxing on the CPU. Letting the temps cool off before trying anything like this again.

gotcha take it easy

Oh, and, uh. You've got my permission to publicize whatever you want from what we talked about today. I think my "friends" feel the same.

publicize?

i dont follow

On your blog or something, I mean. If you want to. Fuck, sorry. Long night. Ignore what I said if that's better, my decisionmaking processors are not fucking functioning tonight.