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kpopfanfictrash · 2 years

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Love to Hate (Ch. 12)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Fuck Buddies / Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Jungkook / Reader

Synopsis: Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you've done your best to rid yourself of the taste since you were old enough to walk. Occasionally though, your mother manages to rope you into an obligatory function – or a blind date with playboy billionaire, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook stands for everything you loathe about the world you left behind, but you can’t deny the spark of attraction between you. Intrigued by the promise of mutual satisfaction, you agree to one night in bed… and quickly realize you’re in far, far deeper than you ever intended.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: multiple orgasms (male + female), fingering, breast play, dirty talk, somewhat rough sex, oversensitivity, oral (female), cum play, sex without a condom (with other forms of birth control), spanking

Word Count: 20,122

Seven hours. Seven hours, or four hundred and twenty minutes until you can breathe freely.

Lips pursed, you survey yourself in the warped bathroom mirror. Tonight’s launch party will last several hours, ending whenever Seokjin rounds up the final group for karaoke. You have the aquarium booked until dawn, just in case.

Twisting around, you examine yourself from behind. Although its neckline is high, the dress exposes your back, its fabric dipping low to end just above your ass. Already, you worry it’ll be too much but before you can talk yourself out of it, your phone buzzes on the counter.

Whipping around, you’re disappointed to find it’s only an email. Exhaling, you drop your phone to your clutch and exit the bathroom – only to immediately trip over Dante, splayed out on the ground. He’s utterly exhausted after your walk, which is a good thing. Hopefully, he’ll wreak less chaos at Jimin’s.

Gathering Dante’s things, you pull his leash from its hook. Olya and Hoseok arrived over an hour ago and have been playing video games at Jimin’s while you got ready. Although you’re the last one again, this time isn’t your fault. Things kept going wrong at the venue, resulting in you being the last one to leave. This cut your hair and make-up time nearly in half.

“Here we go, Dante,” you sing-song, grabbing his collar to clip. “Let’s visit Jimin! Isn’t that exciting? You like Jimin.”

Dante gives you some side-eye which says that yes, he likes Jimin, but he also sees right through you. Clipping on his leash, you stand and tug Dante towards the door.

The moment you enter the hall, you hear your friends shouting. Not in an angry way, but in the way which ensues whenever they game together. (“I said, LEFT, Jimin! As in – not right!” “The only thing not right is your memory, Hoseok, since you definitely said go right!”)

No one answers your first knock, so you try again – louder. Olya yells something at the game and you snort, since her threats are more vicious than either of the men.

Finally, on the third knock, someone hears.

“COMING,” Hoseok calls, followed by the loud thunk of his controller hitting the table. “I hope that’s you, Y/N, since we’re leaving whether you’re dressed or – ah,” he says, pulling open the door. “Good. It is you.”

Dante bolts forward the second he fits through the door, bounding across the room towards the sleeping Peaches. When she doesn’t wake, Dante takes this in stride and flops down beside her.

“What if it hadn’t been me?” you ask Hoseok, brushing past. “Your threat would’ve been wasted.”

“Never wasted,” he says. “Merely misplaced.”

Glancing upward, Olya’s eyes widen when she sees your outfit. “Damn, Y/N!” she gasps. “That dress is amazing! You look perfect and – shit, you’re ready. Okay,” she says, jumping up from the couch. “Where’s your bathroom, Jimin? I need to go before we leave.”

“First door on the left,” he says without looking up.

Olya disappears down the hall, leaving you with the rest. Not returning to the game, Hoseok stoops by the couch to gather Olya’s things. Watching him do this, you smile. It’s nice for Hoseok to be with someone – he’s usually so focused on work, he barely thinks about himself. Like calls to like, you suppose.

Turning around, Hoseok sees you watching and pauses. “What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” you sigh. “It’s just nice seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like if Olya jumped off a bridge, you’d be right behind her,” Jimin says, pressing pause on his game. Glancing upward, he blinks. “Whoa, Y/N.”

“I know!” Olya squeals, exiting the bathroom. “That’s what I’m saying! Y/N is ready to break hearts tonight.”

“No – No!” Alarmed, you shoot Hoseok a look. “That’s not the vibe I’m giving off, is it?”

Hoseok shrugs, not seeming to care either way. Offering Olya an arm, he helps her put on her shoes. “I don’t know. You look nice, Y/N.”

“Nice.” Olya wobbles. “You look more than nice, Y/N, you look hot.”

Feeling your face start to burn, you turn around. “Okay, enough,” you groan. “Let’s head out. Jimin – are you good with Dante?”

Dante, who is currently snoozing beside Peaches, doesn’t stir at his name. Jimin looks down, and then nods. “I think we’re fine,” he says. “Have fun! See you all tomorrow?”

Hoseok and Olya nod, and you give a noncommittal shrug. You still haven’t decided if you’ll want social interaction after tonight – especially not in the form of two happy couples. Jimin seems to understand, and on your way out the door, you give Dante a wave. He completely ignores this, too busy pretending to sleep beside his (one-sided) best friend.

Your descent to the lobby is treacherous, made even worse by your high heels and dress. The shoes are fine on flat surfaces, but your building’s staircase is exactly the opposite. At least these are the only stairs to climb tonight.

When you reach the front doors, you sigh in relief. Seokjin is already waiting, idling at the curb in a different car than last time. The night at Yoongi's restaurant seems ages ago, even though it was less than two weeks.

A knot in your stomach tightens. You haven’t seen Jungkook since he came to Clean Ocean and asked to become a donor. He’s attending the launch party, though – both he and Namjoon confirmed this via email. The contract between you has also been signed, neatly expedited with no objections from legal.

Except – that first part isn’t quite true.

Although you haven’t seen Jungkook since Wednesday, you’ve talked to him. At first, it was just a question he texted, clarifying a point in the contract. Then Jungkook asked if you needed help with the launch party, to which your answer was a resounding no but then he mentioned a contractor and now – absently, you scroll through your texts.

Most are professional but every now and then, something slips past which makes you wonder.

“Y/N!” Seokjin rolls down the window. “What are you doing? Get in here before you’re late to your own party.”

Returning your phone to your clutch, you hurry in. Clambering after Hoseok, you buckle your seatbelt and smooth out your dress. Olya claims the passenger seat, being prone to motion sickness. Seokjin is in the driver’s seat, his moon roof open to let in the breeze.

As he pulls from the curb, Seokjin glances in the mirror. “Damn, Y/N.” He whistles. “Is that dress work appropriate?”

Worried, you glance down. “I don’t know – is it?”

“Ignore him, Y/N.” Yanking down the mirror, Olya starts to re-apply lipstick. “The amount of leg I’m showing is way worse than your back. Don’t let them bully you.”

“Yeah,” you say, lifting your chin. “Don’t bully me, Seokjin.”

Seokjin bats his eyelashes. “Who, me?” Before you can respond, his gaze moves to Hoseok. “Olya has a point, though. Hoseok – why aren’t you showing as much leg as your girlfriend?”

“Hers are far superior to mine.”

Still touching up her makeup, Olya reaches over the console and squeezes Hoseok’s thigh. Hiding a grin, you lean back in your seat as Seokjin turns up his music. A Top 40 pop song blares but after a while, you somehow find your phone returned to your lap.

Open to your texts.

Your finger hovering above a certain thread.

You know Jungkook hasn’t texted. You know this and yet, a tiny voice in your mind wonders what-if. What-if Jungkook has decided not to come, what if he reneges his RSVP, what-if –

You press on the thread.

Stomach dropping, you see you were right – Jungkook hasn’t texted. His last messages are displayed onscreen and, absent-minded, you scroll.

Jungkook: you know what concept has always eluded me? [Friday, 1:07 AM]

Y/N: sleep? [Friday, 7:02 AM]

Jungkook: always. But no – I was referring to the dress code. What, exactly, does ‘dressy casual’ mean? Isn’t that an oxymoron? [Friday, 7:31 AM]

Y/N: Google is free, Jeon [Friday, 8:10 AM]

Y/N: okay, so Olya says ‘dressy casual’ means a combination of relaxed and formal. Basically, no jeans but you can be more casual than black tie [Friday, 8:14 AM]

Jungkook: got it [Friday, 8:20 AM]

Jungkook: I lied. That doesn’t help at all [Friday, 9:05 AM]

Y/N: lol what do you mean? What are you stuck on? [Friday, 9:42 AM]

Jungkook: Is a suit too dressy? [Friday, 9:50 AM]

Y/N: depends on the suit. Send me a pic [Friday, 9:53 AM]

Jungkook: *jpeg* [Friday, 9:55 AM]

Paused on the photo, your breath catches again. Looking at it now is as devastating as the first time. Jungkook must have worked from home on Friday since you recognize the tile of his bathroom behind him.

The photo is only from the neck down, but the way Jungkook fills out his suit is exquisite. The color is black, but lace panels dress up the white shirt beneath it, and several buttons are undone. The overall effect is devastating.

In your ear, Hoseok whistles. “Who’s sending you pics, Y/N?”

Startled, you fumble and nearly drop your phone.

“No one,” you blurt, your face burning.

Seokjin’s ears perk up in the front. “Y/N is looking at nudes in a car full of people?” He sounds overly gleeful about the possibility. “I guess that’s one way to relax.”

“I’m not looking at nudes. Jungkook asked for my thoughts on his suit – that’s all.”

“Jungkook?” Olya turns, surprised. “Are you talking about our new donor, Jungkook?”

Frozen in the backseat, you realize your mistake. Although you’re friends with Olya, you were trying your best to keep the Jungkook mess separate from work. It’s bad enough you have to work with him going forward without all of your employees knowing you messed up.

“I – we, uh, know each other,” you say.

“Ah.” Olya adopts a sly grin. “Nice. He’s hot.”

Hoseok’s smile abruptly disappears. “Why don’t we change the topic? Y/N has enough to worry about without thinking of Jungkook.”

Thankful, you nod and Olya leans over the console to pat Hoseok’s knee.

“It’s cute when you’re jealous,” she says before she pulls back.

Hoseok stares, and then sputters, “I’m not… jealous! Objectively, Jungkook is hot.”

“Can we please stop talking about him?” you beg, a bit pained.

Olya winces, mouthing sorry before facing forward. Returning your phone to your clutch, you stare out the window as Seokjin turns up the volume. His playlist has lapsed into what sounds like pop-ified sea shanties, something you deem oddly fitting with the night ahead. You’ve nearly pushed the topic of Jungkook from mind when –

“So.” Seokjin sounds like he’s holding back laughter. “Jungkook sent you a suit pic?”

You slump low in your seat. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” Hoseok says. “I saw a bunch of your texts while you scrolled. You were talking all day to him on Friday.”

“Hey!” you huff. “Privacy, Hobi.”

“The man asked you what he should wear, though,” Seokjin says.

“And? He didn’t understand the dress code.”

“Didn’t understand the – okay.” Seokjin snorts. “Y/N, that man has been attending formal gatherings since he was old enough to sit up. Jungkook knows what to wear when the invite says dressy casual.”

These words give you pause, since Seokjin is right. You aren’t sure why you didn’t think of this before. Maybe part of you felt it was simply more believable than thinking Jungkook texted you to talk.

“Maybe it’s been a while,” Olya says, defending you. “I’m sure whatever Y/N thinks is correct. She knows him best, after all.”

You smile at Olya, grateful for the interjection. Mercifully, Seokjin allows the matter to drop, turning his head to stare at the road. You, on the other hand, turn the matter over in your mind. No matter what people do, you always tend to assume the worst.

It’s far easier to assume this and be surprised than assume something positive and be let down. Objectively, the fact that Jungkook texted you is a good sign. Much easier to believe it’s coincidental than he actually likes you.

Even if he does though, you can’t allow yourself to be drawn in. Not when so much is riding on tonight’s party. You need to be one hundred percent focused, and Jungkook is nothing but a distraction.

A ridiculously gorgeous distraction who might return your feelings.

Pushing this hopelessly from mind, the rest of the ride passes and soon enough, you pass beneath the aquarium’s arch. Seokjin drops you off at the front since no one is wearing the right shoes for cobblestones. Already, you run through an endless to-do list in your mind – but the moment you enter, all of it fades.

When you left earlier, the venue was a work in progress. The hanging trellis was only half-lifted, none of the lights were lit and packaging material cluttered the floor. Now, you step into paradise.

The tanks on the walls cast blueish green light, its effect softened by golden orbs hanging from the ceiling. Between the lights, greenery drapes to give the impression of algae, as though the dance floor itself has sunk underwater. To your right, double doors lead to a patio with a view of the ocean.

Staring in awe, you turn in a full circle.

Hoseok comes to a stop. “Whoa,” he breathes. “You really outdid yourself tonight, Olya.”

Beaming, she waves. “It was nothing.”

“It was something,” you argue. “This place is absolutely gorgeous, Olya. Our donors will love it.”

“Hopefully, they love it so much they cough up more money.” She laughs. “Okay, enough with the compliments. I need to check about a thousand things before guests start arriving – Hoseok, are you coming with?”

He nods and follows suit, glancing at you to ensure you’re alright. You wave him off with a nod, returning to your mental task list. Guests will start arriving in an hour, which is no time at all.

After speaking to catering – not Min Yoongi, unfortunately – checking the sound system, and running through a list of approved songs with the DJ, you stop by the bar to catch your breath. Pulling your phone from your clutch, you’re about to check texts when someone calls your name.

Glancing upward, you spot Olya rushing across the floor. She moves like a woman on a mission and slowly, you return your phone without looking.

“Y/N,” Olya says, skidding to a stop. “Thank god I caught you.”

You stare at her, bewildered. “I’m here all night, Olya – is something wrong?”

“I -well.” She straightens. “Nothing is wrong, exactly. It’s just I was checking the guest list – searching for last-minute cancellations, that sort of thing.”

“Okay…”

Her lips tighten. “I wasn’t thinking earlier. I was so caught up in arriving, I didn’t think but now, when I saw the list again, it hit me.”

“What hit you?” you ask, dread unspooling like thread in your stomach.

“I gave Jungkook a plus one.”

“And?”

“And.” Olya sighs. “Jungkook said yes. He said yes for him plus a date. Which means he’s planning to bring someone this evening.”

Staring at Olya, every sound seems to fade. Reality steps forward to burst your bubble. Jungkook is bringing someone. Jungkook is bringing a date. After donating to Clean Ocean like a goddamn knight in shining armor, he’s decided to bring someone to the fundraiser he saved.

Self-blame instantly kicks into high gear. If you’d only been honest with him earlier, responded in a more expressive tone, maybe he would have – but no. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to calm.

The two of you go around and around, and no one ever wins. You didn’t tell Jungkook how you felt, he didn’t ask, and you both end up hurting each other. If Jungkook is here with a date, you’ll deal with it, just like you have with everything else. He’s not the most important part of tonight.

Either way, you need to make it through the party in one piece. You can figure out what to do about Jungkook tomorrow.

“I’m so sorry,” Olya says, wringing her hands. “I debated whether or not to tell you, but figured you finding out now was better than Jungkook showing up and –”

“No – no,” you interrupt. “You’re right. It’s better I know now. We gave him a plus one, right?” you add, injecting your words with false cheeriness. “He’s fully entitled to use it.”

Olya hesitates. “I mean, debatable. He didn’t have to bring someone. Whether you’re together or not, he’s been texting you all week. It’s rude to bring someone else!”

“Maybe,” you sigh. Your next words are more difficult. “But despite how I feel about him, we’re not dating. We haven’t been… anything for a long time. It was nice of Jungkook to donate, but it wasn’t romantic. I – I actually need to go check something,” you say, choking a little.

With a sympathetic glance, Olya nods and steps aside. Clearly, she understands your retreat for what it is – a hasty excuse for running away.

Entering the nearest bathroom, you pause at the mirror as you’re struck by an immediate sense of déjà vu. The last time this happened was at your parents’ party. That night, you vowed to forget about Jungkook and now, here you are. Stuck in the same situation.

Stiffening, you meet your own gaze. No – that’s not true. Back then, you were crushed by a situation of your own making. Tonight, you have the chance to make things right. Strengthened by the thought, you stay long enough to gather yourself and then leave – only to walk straight into Seokjin.

He seems to have come straight from Olya, and it takes nearly ten minutes to convince Seokjin you’re fine. (“You can kill him after the party, Seokjin, I swear.” “Why not now?” “Death will be equally satisfying at a location where I have plausible deniability.” “Don’t care.” “Think about Yoongi! Would he really go out with the guy suspected of murdering his best friend?”)

“First of all,” Seokjin declares. “I’m too good to be suspected of anything. But fine! If you really want, I’ll pull back. Just say the word, though.”

“I appreciate that, Seokjin,” you say. “But right now, I have to go host this event.”

“Ah – right.” He nods, slightly chastised. “Fair enough.”

Stepping aside, Seokjin sheepishly allows you to return to the list. Your remaining minutes are spent triple-checking the guests, stopping again to chat with security and adjusting the timing of the hors d’oeuvres. By the time you find Olya, your first guest is arriving, and you’ve barely had time to think about Jungkook.

Or – this is so until you’re confronted by a black, shiny town car pulling to the curb. Stomach sinking, you prepare for his appearance, only for Javier and his husband to step from the car.

Breaking into a smile, you wave, and they walk towards you.

“Well, I never.” Javier smiles, taking hold of your hand. “This place looks stunning, Y/N.”

Glancing around, you can’t help but agree. “Thank you,” you say, ushering them in. “And hello to you, too, Alex. I’m afraid I can’t take any credit for tonight, though,” you add as you enter the main room. “The theme is all Olya.”

“When I see her, I’ll sing her praises,” laughs Javier. “But don’t forget tonight is an accomplishment for you, too! Do you remember our first fundraiser?” he adds, turning to Alex.

Alex nods. “That little bar off the highway. How could I forget?”

Both laugh in remembrance.

“In the back of that gas station!” Javier tsks. “Shut down, I hear. But look at you now! Renting an entire aquarium – Clean Ocean has certainly come a long way.”

“It’s a shock to me, too,” you say, turning to face them.

Wryly, Javier shakes his head. “Your success will never surprise me, Y/N. If anyone has the ability to change the world, it would be you.”

Face heating, you find yourself unable to think of a response. One isn’t necessary though as, realizing other guests have arrived, Alex and Javier say goodbye and head for the bar. Nerves flood your stomach, anticipating Jungkook again but instead, Indra Gupta and his wife appear through the door.

“Y/N!” he calls, heading for you. “What a splendid night! Jaya and I are thrilled to be here – we can’t thank you enough for inviting us.”

“Of course,” you say, shaking their hands. “Thank you both for coming.”

When they pull back, there’s a pause until Jaya coughs. Hastily, Indra reaches inside his coat pocket to withdraw an envelope.

“I almost forgot,” he says, handing this over. “I felt bad attending a second Clean Ocean event without any sort of donation, so please find enclosed our contract. My office will contact you Monday to arrange the details – for next year,” he adds, noticing your expression. “I know you needed funds now, but we’re unfortunately all fiscally tied up.”

“No – no, that’s fine,” you say, taking the envelope. “I’m excited to have you as a future donor. And please, don’t worry about the funding right now – we found the money.”

“Oh, how wonderful,” Jaya exclaims.

Indra perks up. “Anyone I know?”

“Indra,” she laughs, swatting his arm. “We’re monopolizing the poor woman. Thank you again for inviting us,” she adds. “Now, let’s get you a drink. Lovely to see you again, Y/N!”

“Thank you,” you call as they leave. “Truly.”

They also disappear towards the bar, leaving you somewhat dazed. Eventually, you come to and stride across the floor in search of Olya. Guests are still arriving, and it wouldn’t do to lose Indra’s proposal before you can sign.

Finding her by the kitchen, you hand Olya the contract, and she promises to take good care of it. By the time you return, enough people have arrived to form a line at the bar. Setting to work, you put on your best host smile to greet your guests.

Nearly an hour passes before you have time for a break. Sagging against the nearest bar, you pull out your phone to double-check the guest list. Based on your internal count, nearly everyone has arrived.

Everyone – but one.

Pushing thoughts of Jungkook away, you accept the glass of champagne handed to you by the bartender. Taking a slow sip, you turn around to scan the party.

Most of your attendees have escaped to the patio, making this your next stop. Heading in this direction, you pause beneath the arch to take in the view. Far below you, waves crash against the sand in a muffled roar. Ahead of you, moonlight cuts through glittering ocean waves.

You aren’t the only one amazed by the view; most people stand about you in groups, chatting happily while the moon rises. At least no one will call your event boring, you think as you move – only to stop dead in your tracks, spotting a familiar profile.

Abruptly, you whirl and plunge into the crowd.

Heading in the opposite direction, you drain your champagne and set the empty glass down. Reaching the railing, your hands clutch at the metal, willing your heartbeat to slow.

Several moments pass before your breathing steadies. Exhaling lowly, you stare into the waves. Sure, you can hobnob with the rich and famous but throw one ex-whatever-Jungkook-is into the mix and you immediately flee. No matter how prepared you thought you were, a part of you can’t stand seeing him with someone else.

When someone enters your peripheral, you go still. After a long moment, you turn and are flooded with relief when you find Seokjin before you.

Taking a long sip of his whiskey, he stares at the waves. “Jungkook is here.”

“Ah.”

“Inside, I think.”

“Right.” Bolstering your nerves, you nod. “Is he here with his date?”

Seokjin glances your way, his hair whipped by the wind. “I didn’t see, but I heard someone mention he came with a woman.”

“I see.”

You stay there for a moment, debating what to do before realizing it’s now or never. If you wait any longer, you’ll convince yourself to go home. Besides, waiting for Jungkook to find you is passive. By seeking him out, you place yourself in the driver’s seat.

Seokjin watches you carefully. “Are you alright?”

“I will be,” you say. “After I go greet Jungkook and his guest.”

“You seem… oddly calm,” he observes.

“I am calm.”

“Not a good calm.” Seokjin pauses. “Serial killer calm.”

Subtle, you lift a brow. “Don’t tell me you’re suddenly concerned about Jungkook’s well-being?”

“I’m not,” he assures you. “But I like you, Y/N. It’d be a shame if you went to prison.”

“Thanks.”

“Because you wouldn’t survive.”

“Okay,” you say, turning around. “That’s enough of a pep talk. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye!” Seokjin calls, waving you off. “Good luck!”

Striding away, you leave Seokjin behind to enter the crowd. Externally, you hope you portray a façade of total calm because on the inside, you’re sweating. Each mental scenario is worse than the last, replacing each other in your mind like bad movie reels.

What-if Jungkook decided to bring Giselle, the woman from the fundraiser. What-if he brought someone from work – someone who’s strong, successful, and not afraid of commitment, unlike you.

Stomach dropping, you force yourself to continue. Each step you take is instantly forgotten, fading to past as you face your future. Inside, you scan the length of the aquarium. Every person you pass you half-expect to see Jungkook and when they’re not, you find yourself disappointed.

Wandering further in, you say hello to several guests and greet their plus ones. By the time you’ve made a full lap, you’re starting to wonder if Seokjin’s intel was right – which is the moment you see him.

Feet stuttering to a halt, you stare when Jungkook fully appears. A couple drifts past you, previously concealing him from your view. Greenish-blue light washes over his features, blurring his face when he looks away.

You wish you’d had foresight to refill your glass since Jungkook isn’t alone. Turned away, he responds to someone by his side – a petite, demure someone, by the looks of it since they barely reach Jungkook’s shoulder. Forcing yourself to keep walking, you take several steps forward.

At this point, there’s no other option. Either you run and they see you, which would be humiliating, or you continue, and they greet you, which will be devastating.

Stuck in a difficult situation, all you can do is walk. You’re close enough to hear then, when Jungkook throws his head back to laugh. The sound stops you again, staring at him in confusion. Out of anything that could have happened, him laughing is the worst. Laughter means his date knows Jungkook well enough to make him laugh.

Which means she’s important.

Stomach roiling, you consider whether to flee when Jungkook suddenly turns and locks eyes.

Surprise crosses his features, followed by something you don’t understand. You stare back at him, frozen until you realize you need to do something.

“Mr. Jeon,” you intone, closing the distance between you. “Thank you so much for coming. I want to personally thank you for–”

“Y/N,” Jungkook blurts, finding his voice.

You falter, thrown by his excitement.

“I’m so glad you found us,” he hastens, “because there’s someone here I want you to meet.”

“Oh?” you say, careful.

Although it’s been weeks since you and Jungkook were anything, this feels like a strange level of enthusiasm for having his current date meet his ex, well – whatever you are.

Stepping back, Jungkook reveals the woman standing by his side. “Y/N, this is my aunt – Jeanette Mason. Aunt Jeanette, this is Y/N, the owner of Clean Ocean.”

His aunt. This is Jeanette Mason, Jungkook’s aunt.

Time seems to slow. The woman standing before you is older than Jungkook by at least thirty years. Not that this means anything, but she’s holding his elbow in a maternal gesture and again, Jungkook introduced her as his aunt.

“Mrs. Mason,” you repeat, your words faint.

Jeanette gives her nephew a sly look. “I know who she is, Kookie,” she scolds, patting his hand. “Am I, or am I not, the one who set you up?”

Cheeks turning slightly red, Jungkook lowers his head. “You can’t just say things like that,” he mutters in her ear.

“And why not?” she demands, not bothering to lower her voice. “It’s lovely to meet you at last, Y/N. I hear such wonderful things about you from your mother.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “From my… mother?”

Seeing your expression, she can’t help but laugh. “Yes, well.” Jeanette shrugs. “What I deem to be wonderful, and what your mother deems to be wonderful are two rather different things, I suppose. Your mother is quite the opinionated woman, is she not?”

“She… yes, she is,” you manage to say.

“I’ve known your mother for a long time. She’s mentioned her daughter before – usually in exasperated tones, mind you, over your wonderful charity. And the very first person I thought of was my nephew.” Beaming, Jeanette turns to face Jungkook. “He always used to go on about the ocean and the environment when he was younger.”

“Oh?” you muse, glancing at Jungkook. “Is that so?”

Jungkook seems as though he wishes the earth would swallow him whole. He must not have anticipated how his aunt could embarrass him, which makes you smile.

Forlorn, his aunt sighs. “It’s a shame you two didn’t hit it off. I know so many people think Jungkook is like his father, but he has nothing in common with that cold man. He’s so much more like his mother. An absolute angel, that woman.”

“I’ve heard that,” you say softly. “And I agree, he is wonderful.”

Sharply, Jungkook looks at you and some of his color fades. Unable to hold his gaze, you force yourself to look elsewhere.

“Well.” Jeanette drains her glass. “It was very nice meeting you, Y/N. Jungkook has been talking my ear off about how wonderful you are.”

Loudly, he clears his throat. “You mean how wonderful Clean Ocean is – right, Aunt Jeanette?”

Jeanette shrugs, looking as though she couldn’t care either way. Stifling a laugh, you rather enjoy the rare sight of Jungkook flustered.

More than that though, you’re forced to rethink the situation. Jungkook didn’t bring a date tonight. Or – he brought a date but not a romantic one. Instead, he brought the single family member he still has a good relationship with and wanted you to meet her.

All night, you’ve imagined the two of you stuck in a loop, playing the same game over and over but now, you see you were wrong. This is different. Jungkook has been trying to tell you something all week and the moment you realize this, you make your decision.

“Actually,” you say abruptly. “Do you mind if I steal your nephew, Jeanette? There are a few donors I’d like him to meet.”

“Of course!” She waves you both away. “I was planning to head out soon, anyways. Always leave them wanting more, and all that. I’ll see you next weekend, Kookie.”

“Are you sure?” Leaning down, Jungkook kisses her cheek. “I can have my driver take you home.”

“Nonsense,” she says. “I have my own driver, darling. He’d be bored stiff without me. Have fun!” she calls, turning around to melt into the crowd.

Jungkook watches her leave, a faint look of amusement on his face.

“Sorry,” he says, turning towards you. “I didn’t ask her to –”

“Can we talk?” you blurt out.

Jungkook stops and blinks. “I – okay, sure. About what?”

“In private,” you say, shaking your head as you turn.

In the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook follow. Your heart is thudding so loudly, you’re certain he must hear it. You’re sure everyone must hear it, even over the music but somehow, no one notices. Every now and again, you look back to ensure Jungkook is following.

He is.

Your original intent was to bring Jungkook to the entrance, but when you find the space occupied, you continue. Entering the next hall, you search for some privacy. Both footsteps echo on marble, the noise thinning around you as you leave the party.

Around the next bend, the hall empties into an aquarium with a domed ceiling.

“Uh, Y/N?”

Turning, you find Jungkook beside a sign that reads closed. One hand in his pocket, he looks at you and smiles, and you nearly melt.

“Yes?” you whisper, not daring to move.

He glances at the sign. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.”

“We rented this entire place,” you say, turning around. “That includes this room. Olya put up those signs to discourage guests from roaming.”

“Oh. Okay, then.”

Leaving Jungkook at the entrance, you wander in. The dome above you is fully glass, surrounding you on all sides with water from the aquarium. Colorful fish dart past, twisting and turning before they disappear into coral. Feeling slightly silly for having brought Jungkook here, you force yourself to stop.

His footsteps continue until Jungkook stops alongside you. The shape of him is clear in your peripheral and it takes everything in you not to turn your head.

“They don’t bite,” you say, staring at the tank.

“I know.” Jungkook’s voice is rough. “They’re not the reason I’m nervous right now.”

Uncertain, you turn and meet his gaze. The moment you do, all the words you had planned somehow disappear.

Jungkook exhales. “I’m scared,” he admits, quiet. “Scared you brought me here to reject me. Scared you saw right through me out there and are trying to let me down easy where no one can see us.”

Hearing this, it’s all you can do to remain upright. Jungkook being afraid you might reject him means there’s something to reject.

“I’m scared I’m being an idiot,” he continues, stepping closer. “Scared I’m reading into signs that aren’t there, imagining you feel the same way about me when you obviously don’t.”

Jungkook stops mere inches away and you realize he’s waiting for a response. All you can think though, is what if you’re wrong.

“And…?” you ask him. “What is it you feel for me?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Jungkook looks at you, tortured. “It feels… like I can breathe. Like I’ve been trapped my whole life but with you, I can finally breathe. I’m not creative, but you make me want to be. To write songs – poetry, just to hear you laugh. You make me ramble,” he adds, his voice catching. “I’m scared of confessing this but the thought of losing you again scares me even more. I want everyone to know how I feel – especially you, Y/N.”

You stare back at him, speeches and wonder if there comes a point when joy is too much. When happiness is akin to pain since you know at one point, this feeling must end.

Stepping closer, Jungkook’s hands skim your elbows. “Please,” he adds, searching. “Please, Y/N. Say something and put me out of my misery.”

It’s the way he says please that breaks the dam inside you.

“You’re not imagining things,” you whisper, the words rushing out. “Everything you said… I feel it, too, Jungkook. I’ve been falling for you ever since the night we watched Ted Lasso.”

Incredulousness enters his gaze. “That long, huh?”

Scoffing, you move to swat his arm, but Jungkook catches your hand and tugs you closer. Smiling down at you, he wraps both arms around your waist.

“I’m kidding,” he says. “I’ve been falling for you since Chez Moi, Chez Toi. Although I didn’t realize it until later.”

“Our first date?” you ask him, amazed.

Jungkook nods. “I don’t have much experience with all this. It took me a while to understand what I was feeling.”

“Which was when?”

“When you stayed at my place.” His face softens. “I saw you in my t-shirt and just… knew something about this was different. I barely thought twice before sending my date home. Even then, I didn’t want to admit it. I don’t think I really understood until I woke up in your bed.”

“You were better than me,” you admit. “I didn’t realize until Aleve.”

Visible frustration crosses his features. “That night.” Jungkook shakes his head. “I was such an ass– I’m so sorry about it, Y/N. It’s just… when I saw you with him… it brought back all these memories, and I didn’t handle it very well.”

You stare at him a long moment, then exhale. “It’s okay. I understand. I – well, I spoke with Yoongi.”

Rather than seem surprised by this reveal, Jungkook merely nods. “I know,” he says softly.

“You… know?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Since when?” you demand.

His upper lip quirks. “Since Thursday. After seeing you, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same, so I went to complain about it to Yoongi – and barely got your name out before he exploded.” Jungkook lets out a laugh. “He called me an idiot and said I should confess before I lost you completely. The truth came out after that,” he adds, a bit dry.

“I’m… so sorry,” you blurt, shaking your head. “I didn’t tell him to say that. I didn’t mean to go behind your back the way I did, it’s just –”

“You weren’t getting any answers from me,” Jungkook finishes.

Helpless, you nod.

“I get it, Y/N,” he says, his grip tightening. “I’m not mad, I promise. If anything, I’m glad you went to Yoongi because it gave me hope. It made me think…” Jungkook hesitates. “That maybe you cared for me, too.”

“God,” you mutter. “We’ve been such idiots.”

He sadly smiles. “Me, more than you.”

“We can call it a tie.”

Laughing, Jungkook moves closer, and everything else seems to fade. His presence overwhelms you in a way that makes your mind go quiet. Unthinking, your gaze drops to his mouth. Suddenly, you’re very aware of each part of your body pressed to his.

“We…” Jungkook licks his lips. “We should probably head back.”

Despite this, his voice roughens, and you suppress a shiver. Tentatively, you lift one hand to splay across his chest. Jungkook’s gaze dips to your palm on his fabric.

“Probably,” you agree.

“Except…” Subtle, Jungkook lowers his head. “We’ve waited a long time to get our shit together.”

“That’s also true.”

“Mm.” He stops. “There’s just one problem.”

“Problem?” you say, dazed by his proximity.

“Yeah.” Tilting his head, his lips nearly brush yours. “If I start kissing you, I won’t be able to stop.”

“And that’s a bad thing, because…?”

“We’re currently in public.”

“In public.”

“At an event that you’re hosting.”

“Hosting,” you repeat, reduced to a parrot.

Jungkook chuckles. “People will notice,” he murmurs, although his hand continues to caress your waist, “if you go missing. And I don’t want to be rushed. I plan to take my time with you tonight.”

His last word is a growl, said lowly in your ear and immediately, your breath catches. Hand fisting in his jacket, you attempt to move even closer, but Jungkook stays maddeningly separate.

Huffing, you look up. “I didn’t think you were the type to back down from a challenge, Jeon.”

“Are you giving me one, princess?”

Boldly, you close the distance between you. Jungkook’s reaction is instantaneous, his entire body stiffening but before you can move, his hand finds your chin.

“Careful,” he warns, tilting your face to his.

“Come on, Jeon.” Sweetly, you smile. “Be stronger.”

“Impossible,” he mutters. “Not with you around.”

Before you can react to this, his lips are on yours. Jungkook’s hand roughly slides from your jaw to your neck, pulling you closer as you melt against him. Heart hammering, your fingers curl tightly into the lapels of his jacket. Each place you touch him feels aflame and at the same time, you’re drowning, sinking into his presence.

When you finally pull back, Jungkook bites down on your lip. Gasping, you arch and he claims your mouth again. He swallows your whimper, walking the two of you backwards until your spine touches glass.

Keeping you upright, his muscular thigh wedges between yours. Trying to get closer, you knock your head against the glass – and Jungkook goes utterly still.

“Y/N,” he groans, ripping himself away. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Still struggling to catch your breath, you stare back at him. Jungkook hasn’t stepped back, a fact which hasn’t escaped your notice. When you arch against him, Jungkook pushes his hips against yours.

“Careful,” he murmurs, pressing you to the tank. “Unless you want to be fucked right here and right now. I wouldn’t overestimate my self-control.”

Lips parted, you stare and Jungkook can’t help but grin. It’s hard not to melt because his smile is your favorite – and only now are you realizing that’s because it’s solely for you.

“What is it?” he asks.

“Nothing.” Slowly, you shake your head. “I’m just… happy.”

If you thought you loved Jungkook’s smile before, you were wrong. Eyes crinkled, his smile widens, and now, you fear for your life. For the life of everyone at this party because dear lord, Jungkook is perfect.

“I can’t imagine why,” he says. “I’m the lucky one.”

“Agree to disagree.”

His grip on you tightens and you expect him to kiss you again, but he doesn’t. Instead, Jungkook merely stands there, and you wonder if this is what people mean when they speak about happiness. When they mention perfect moments, understanding another without words – this must be what they speak of.

Eventually, you glance past him. “We should probably return.”

“Probably,” he agrees, although he still doesn’t move. “It’s not fair, though. Those people have had your attention all night.”

“And you’ll have the rest of it,” you tease him. “Right after I figure out a way to leave without telling the whole party, ‘Hey, my boyfriend is about to fuck me silly.’”

Jungkook releases you and you start to walk past, only to realize he still hasn’t moved. Puzzled, you turn.

“Jungkook?” you ask. “Did you… not want to do that tonight?”

“That’s not it.” Dazed, he turns his head. “It’s just … you called me your boyfriend.”

Your entire world stops.

“Oh.

Frantic, you backpedal and search for a way out. Obviously, that was too much, too soon – you aren’t sure why you said it, other than the fact that it’s true. You want Jungkook as more than just a fuck buddy, more than just a friend.

For the first time in a very long time, you want to say boyfriend, but Jungkook is new to all this, and you don’t want to scare him away.

“I didn’t mean that,” you hasten, stepping forward. “I was just talking out loud, and I didn’t –”

“No,” Jungkook interrupts. “Don’t take it back. I want that. I really want that. It’s just… it was nice to hear you say it.” An embarrassed smile spreads over his face. “Say it again?”

All the tension drains from your limbs. “Say what?” you tease. “Say you’re my boyfriend?”

Jungkook’s gaze darkens. “I thought you didn’t want me to fuck you right here and right now?”

Heat pools in your center and it’s all you can do not to crush his mouth to yours. An inkling of self-preservation prevents you from doing so, because Jungkook is right. People would notice if you suddenly disappeared.

Still, it doesn’t keep you from lifting to your toes. Lips hovering at his ear, you feel Jungkook’s entire body go taut when you whisper, “Your aunt will want to say goodbye.”

Roughly, he exhales, and you laugh when you pull back.

“Please,” Jungkook groans. His expression is half-amusement, half-pain. “Let’s not talk about my aunt right now.”

“Come on,” you say. “Let’s go and say goodbye.”

“Just – give me a moment.”

Patient, you wait while Jungkook screws his eyes shut. Several seconds pass until finally, he opens them and some of the heat has dissipated.

“Okay, I’m ready,” he declares.

Before you can respond, Jungkook takes your hand in his and pulls you away. You try and savor each, since you’ll soon need to part, but time seems to blur, buoyed by your happiness. All too soon, you’ve reached the entrance and Jungkook is turning to face you.

Continuing to hold your hand, he glances over your shoulder. In the aquarium, someone laughs, and you’re reminded again why you can’t leave just yet.

Jungkook exhales, somewhat mournful. “We timed this terribly.”

“Okay,” you announce. “Here’s the deal.”

Returning to you, his lips twitch. “Deal?”

“Yep.” You force yourself to sound stern. “I’ll go in now. Give me a five-minute head start, and then follow. I’ll talk to a few donors, chat with a few sponsors and then –”

“We meet back here for aquarium sex?”

“Stop that,” you laugh, swatting his arm. “No. And then, we meet out front at eleven. Okay?”

Jungkook adopts a look of mock-anguish. “Why so late?”

You can’t help but smile. “Wish it were sooner?”

“Don’t tease me,” he says, voice dropping. “I thought I was clear about my plans for you for tonight.”

“Plans?”

Jungkook takes a step closer. “Nice try,” he murmurs, lowering his head. “You’ll find out later tonight. Now, go – the sooner you leave, the sooner you come back.”

Reluctant, you turn. “I’ll be back soon,” you promise. “Five-minute head start. Don’t forget.”

Before you can leave, Jungkook’s hand catches your wrist, and he pulls you backwards. Kissing you deeply, he molds your body to his and by the time he lifts his head, you’re rendered speechless.

His gaze bores into yours. “Eleven. No later.”

Unable to think of a response, you nod. It takes every ounce of your self-possession to turn and walk away. When you finally enter the main room, you take a deep breath to focus.

Several new guests have arrived, and you’re only on your second when you realize your mistake. Now that you have Jungkook waiting, you’re finding it difficult to string sentences together. Nearly mixing up the names of two donors, you’re saved from embarrassment by Hoseok’s sudden appearance.

Grasping your wrist, he pulls you closer. “We need to talk,” Hoseok hisses, smiling balefully at the others. “Apologies, everyone, but I need to steal Y/N for a minute.”

Ignoring the ensuing chorus of no problem! and of course, Hoseok leads you away until you’re both concealed behind a potted plant. Turning, he drags a hand down his face, and you look on in alarm. Originally, you thought this might be about Jungkook, but no longer.

“Hoseok, what is it?” you demand.

Resigned, he meets your gaze. “Your parents are here.”

Hoseok might as well have said elephants have arrived. Neither sentence would make sense in the context of Clean Ocean.

“My… what?”

“Your parents,” Hoseok repeats. “They’re here. Olya wasn’t near the front, and the bouncer wasn’t sure what to do, so he let them in.”

“But…” You stare at him, flummoxed. “That makes no sense. Why are they here?”

“I don’t know. To offer congratulations?”

The laugh you give sounds like a wheeze. “These are my parents, we’re talking about.”

“Right, well.” He looks at you, helpless. “Only way to find out is to ask them, I guess.”

Staring at Hoseok, you wait for the rising wave of panic which always accompanies the presence of your family and feel – nothing.

For the first time, you’re confident that whatever mischief your parents have in mind won’t affect you. Clean Ocean is doing well. You and Jason are solid. You have great friends, a good life and – a boyfriend, waiting for you outside at eleven.

Insides warming, you can’t help but smile – something that swiftly disappears when you look at Hoseok. Based on his expression, he seems to be worried you’re having a nervous breakdown.

“Alright,” you say, straightening. “Where are they?”

“Patio. Last I saw, anyways. Want me to come with?”

“No thanks,” you exhale. “They’re my parents. I can handle them.”

Hoseok examines you carefully, then nods and steps aside. He’s long learned not to mess with your familial ties after attending several parties where your parents ignored him. Striding through the main room, you force your expression to neutrality and run through potential options.

Maybe your parents are here because of an important donor. Maybe they came to look good in the papers. Or maybe (most likely) it’s unknown option three which will leave you reeling and nauseous in a way only they can. Stepping onto the patio, you scan for the signs of impending doom.

A breeze rolls in from the ocean, prickling the hair on the back of your neck. Not seeing them, you walk forward – and Jason steps in your path.

“Y/N,” he blurts out. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Instantly, your eyes narrow and you grab his arm. “Why didn’t you warn me they were coming?” you hiss, leaning in.

“I didn’t know!” Jason protests. “Mom texted they were here when I stepped from my car. I’ve been searching all over for you but couldn’t find you. Hoseok didn’t know where you were, either,” he adds, giving you a questioning glance.

Careful to keep your expression blank, you fall into step alongside him. “Busy night. I’ve been running around.”

“Right. Sure.”

The look Jason gives you makes you sweat a little but before he can say anything, the sound of your mother cuts above the crowd.

“Y/N! Darling,” she cries, appearing from nowhere.

Grimacing, you lean in for the double-kiss, disentangling yourself before she can follow up with a hug. This is when your mother loves to whisper her disapproving comments in your ear. Smile in place, you step from her grasp and turn towards your father.

“Mom and dad,” you say brightly. “I didn’t realize you were coming. Did something change in your plans?”

Stepping backwards, your mother sips her champagne. “Nothing changed, Y/N. I’m positive I told Miranda to reply to your RSVP. And even if she forgot – which would be typical – is it so surprising we’d like to support our only daughter?”

Rather than offer an uncharitable response, you nod.

“It was nice of you to come,” Jason agrees. “Are you enjoying the evening?”

Your mother glances at the patio. “That DJ is too loud. He’s going to burst someone’s eardrum, and I’m sure their insurance won’t cover third parties. Did you take out an umbrella policy?” she asks, not waiting for an answer before she continues. “Other than that, the night has been tolerable. There’s an almost respectable crowd here. I know most of the guest list.”

Knowing your mother, she meant this as a compliment. Still, you find yourself wishing you’d at least had the foresight to grab another drink.

“And what about you, dad?” Jason asks, sounding strained. “Are you enjoying the evening?”

Your father blinks, as though startled by being addressed directly.

“Yes – oh, yes,” he says with a nod. “Very nice.”

A pause follows, so Jason continues.

“It is,” he says proudly. “Y/N worked so hard to pull this together. I mean, when she said Infinity Motors pulled out, even I was panicking. The fact that this launch party is happening is nothing short of a miracle.”

Hearing this, your mother looks at you sharply. “What did your brother say? Liam is no longer a donor of Clean Ocean?”

Wincing, Jason realizes his mistake but it’s too late. Seeing no easy way out, you adopt your most neutral expression.

“Yes,” you exhale, turning to face your mother. “Infinity Motors is no longer a donor for Clean Ocean.”

Finally, this gets through to your father. “What happened?” he demands. “Was it a matter of money? Was the offer too small? I’m playing golf with Liam on Sunday – I could talk to him then. We could work something out; this doesn’t have to be the end.”

“There’s no need for that, dad,” you hasten.

“Don’t be so proud,” your mother cuts in. “Listen to your father. He’s been doing this for much longer than you have, Y/N. Do the other donors know?” she asks, changing topics. “It really isn’t right to throw a launch party when the program is cancelled.”

“It’s not cancelled,” you say through clenched teeth.

“There’s no need for that tone, Y/N. I’m just thinking of you, here. I assume this means you’ve broken up with Liam?”

“We were never dating, mom.”

“Oh, right. Is that really what you want to go with?”

“Yes, it is,” you say. “And why does it matter, anyways? One minute, you’re pushing me to date Jungkook and now, you’re all about Liam.”

“I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong,” your mother says with a sniff. “You and Liam Jessen make more sense as a couple. And you were right about that Jeon boy,” she adds, a bit darker.

Hearing this, you pause, unsure how to respond. Your mother has never shied away from supporting the Jeons before. Sensing your hesitation, Jason jumps in.

“What do you mean?” he says, curious.

“W-ell.” Like the cat with the canary, your mother swirls her champagne. “I was speaking to Louise Trapp the other day and she said that apparently, Jungkook is running his father’s company into the ground.”

“Oh?” you ask, the word faint.

When Jason looks at you with confusion, you pretend not to notice.

“It’s true.” Your mother shakes her head. “He’s investing all their profits into renewable energy. Forgoing any sort of shareholder dividend! He fired all the old executives, the ones who’d devoted their lives to the company. Terrible – just terrible,” she sighs. “That company will go under soon, mark my words.”

For a moment, you stand speechless. Hearing your mother list all Jungkook’s accomplishments as faults is a level of surrealness Dalí wouldn’t expect.

“Hm.” Jason seems thoughtful. “Those don’t sound like bad ideas.”

Ignoring this, your mother shakes her head. “Such a pity, too. That boy had such potential. All the opportunity in the world, and this is what he chose.”

Hearing her clear disdain helps you regain your voice. “And what, exactly, did he choose?” you ask, your words full of soft venom.

Both mother and father blink at your tone.

“Well, he…”

Your mother falters.

“Now, Y/N,” your father says, cutting in. “You know your mother meant nothing by the comment.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” you say sweetly. “So, what did you mean?”

Your mother’s gaze narrows, never one to back down from a fight. “I only meant,” she says stiffly, “that he’s turned a lot of former friends into enemies. And that it’s a pity to see his father’s tremendous work be undone.”

“Jungkook’s father,” you snap, barely aware of what you’re saying, “isn’t worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Jungkook.”

Your mother stares at you, aghast and in the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook appear.

He stands at the edge of the patio, searching for something – or someone, you realize, when your gazes meet. Briefly, he smiles before stepping from the dais to melt into the crowd. Suddenly, it seems foolish to have separated from him at all.

“Speaking of Jungkook,” you say, turning back. “I’ve been meaning to thank you, mom.”

Both your parents seem perplexed.

“Thank me for what?” your mother asks tightly.

Rather than answer, you turn around and wave. Your timing proves to be correct, as Jungkook appears as though called from the crowd. When he sees you waving, he stops and glances behind him. Realizing no one is there, Jungkook pivots, and you wave again. Puzzled, he tilts his head, and you nod.

Once you’re certain he’s coming, you return to your family.

“For encouraging me to go out on dates,” you say, answering your mother’s question. “You were right. I was going out with all the wrong men. I needed someone who can hold their own, and now I’ve found that – thanks to you.”

Your mother continues to look bewildered, but Jason breaks into laughter when Jungkook approaches. Your brother quickly disguises this as a cough, taking a large gulp of his whiskey.

Jungkook appears by your side, holding a glass of red wine and looking fully at ease. Stepping closer, you slip your arm into the crook of his elbow and Jungkook glances at you, surprised. This only lasts a moment before he gives in.

“Darling,” Jungkook says, placing his other hand on your lower back. “Are you alright? Do you need a drink?”

“No, no – darling,” you add, just to watch his lips twitch. “I only wanted you to meet my parents. As my boyfriend.”

Something heated flares in his gaze, followed by understanding. Turning towards your family, Jungkook’s expression shifts to one you’ve only seen a few times before. A thrill runs down your spine at the detached look of Jeon Energy’s CEO.

“No fucking way,” Jason breathes.

Your mother instantly straightens. “Jason,” she hisses. “Language!”

“Sorry, mom.” He shakes his head. “So, does this mean you two are actually…”

“Dating?” you supply, your smile widening. “Yes. That’s what I wanted to thank you for, mom. For bringing us together.”

Placing his hand over yours on his elbow, Jungkook inclines his head. Expression unchanging, he keeps you firm by his side.

“I should be thanking you as well, Mrs. Y/L/N,” he adds, solemn. “If it weren’t for you, I never would have found someone as wonderful as your daughter.”

Your mother’s mouth opens, then shuts, clearly torn. On one hand, it’s rude to directly contradict an acquaintance. On the other hand, she doesn’t agree with Jungkook. You don’t think you’ve heard your mother ever use wonderful and daughter in the same sentence.

Luckily, your father steps in. “Well, isn’t this fantastic,” he booms. “How long has it been since I’ve seen your father, Jungkook? I’ll have to set up golf with him soon.”

The change is barely perceptible, but Jungkook’s smile dims. Squeezing his arm with your hand, you force him to look down and he softens.

“We were just talking about you,” you say, looking upward. “My mother was giving her thoughts about your performance as CEO, and I thought it’d be good for you to hear them in person.”

Jason nearly spits his whiskey back into his glass. Your mother is similarly stricken, although she composes herself quickly. Jungkook, on the other hand, seems mildly amused.

“Was she now?” he asks, turning to face her. “I must say, the reviews so far have been dismal. Most people seem to think I’m running the company into the ground.”

Your mother looks a bit sallow. Faced with two bad options – lying or saying something rude to Jungkook’s face – she chooses her next words carefully.

“Yes, well.” She nods. “It takes great… fortitude to make such large-scale changes.”

Jungkook lifts a brow. “Ah, yes. True. But enough about me,” he adds, glancing your way. “Shouldn’t you make the rounds? I’d hate to keep you from your guests.” His expression hardens slightly when he returns to your parents. “It was lovely to see you,” Jungkook adds in a tone which clearly says it was not. “We should do this again.”

Hearing his insult disguised by kind words, your mother stiffens. Your father doesn’t seem to notice and, with a nod, he scans the place for a bar.

Bending, Jungkook brushes his lips against your cheek. “Do you want me to stay?’ he murmurs. “I don’t like leaving you alone with them.”

If you felt any uncertainty before, it immediately vanishes.

“I’ll be fine,” you whisper back. “I’ll see you at eleven.”

Nodding, Jungkook pulls away to face your parents again. “Have a goodnight,” he says before leaving.

You watch him enter the crowd, your side feeling suddenly empty. Before you can offer up any type of explanation, Jason starts to chuckle.

“Wow,” he says. “Jeon Jungkook, Y/N.”

“What about it?” you ask, turning back.

“Nothing.” His grin widens. “I thought that you hated him.”

“Yeah, well.” Somewhat sheepish, you shrug. “Turns out, I don’t.”

Jason continues to smile, and you can’t help but return it – until your mother regains her voice.

“Y/N,” she huffs. “You could have warned us before calling him over like that.”

“I thought you’d be pleased,” you say blithely. “You were the one who introduced us.”

“You – we.” Coming to a stop, she takes a deep breath. “While admittedly, that Jeon boy comes from a good family, he’s hardly the type of man we’d encourage you to date.”

“Oh?” you ask, a dangerous note to your words.

Not for the first time, you understand your mother will find fault in whatever you do. Here’s a man she set you up with and now, because you chose him, she’s taking back her approval.

Oddly enough, the fact barely stings. Not long ago, it might have. Glancing around, you spot Jungkook by the bar and realize he’s watching. He pretends not to, but every now and again, he glances your way, and his expression tightens.

You smile reassuringly. Returning to your parents, you look them each in the eye.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m the one dating him and you’re not,” you say simply. “Thank you for coming. I hope you enjoy the event.”

With that, you turn around and leave. Behind you, Jason jumps in to save the conversation, and you feel a surge of gratitude. While you may not always agree, you can’t deny your brother has your back.

Now, keeping your distance from Jungkook until the end of the night seems pointless. Cutting through the crowd, you make your way to his side. Jungkook watches you navigate and, once you arrive, hands you a glass of champagne. Taking it, your heart flutters, since Jungkook has selected a brand you ordered before.

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi.”

Smiling back at him, you take a sip from the glass.

“No. Way.”

A third voice makes you start. Turning, you find Seokjin staring between you, open-mouthed. Before you can explain, Jungkook turns casually to face him.

“So,” he remarks. “I hear you like Yoongi.”

Gaze jerking to him, Seokjin shuts his mouth. Stifling a laugh, you lean into Jungkook, and he places a hand on your lower back.

Seeing this, Seokjin groans. “Are you two together now? Because if so, I’ll need at least a five-minute warning before you enter a room. New couples are the worst.”

“Yes, we’re together,” you say, smiling up at Jungkook.

He smiles down at you, and in the background, you hear Seokjin offer congratulations before disappearing. Jungkook’s fingers trail lower, realizing how much of your skin is exposed.

“This dress,” Jungkook murmurs, lowering his lips to your ear, “is indecent.”

“Are you trying to tell me what to wear, Mr. Jeon?” you ask in mock-outrage.

Withdrawing his hand, Jungkook turns you to face him. “I wouldn’t dare. Allow me to rephrase – seeing you in that dress is making me want to do indecent things.”

Heart hammering against your ribcage, you stare upward. Before you can respond though, your phone vibrates in your clutch. You determine to ignore it, but then a second vibration occurs – followed fast by another.

Jungkook’s lips tighten. “You should probably get that.”

As much as you hate to admit it, Jungkook is right. Pulling away, you reluctantly unzip your clutch. Spotting Hoseok’s name on the screen, you scowl and swipe.

Hoseok: you saw Jungkook?? Was that before or after we talked? [9:01 PM]

Hoseok: hang on – Seokjin says you’re with him now? [9:29 PM]

Hoseok: and you didn’t tell me?! [9:30 PM]

Hoseok: Y/N! [9:30 PM]

Reading over your shoulder, Jungkook chuckles. Handing him your glass of champagne, you respond.

Y/N: yes, I saw him and yes, we’re together. Additional questions will be answered at a later time [9:32 PM]

Belatedly, you realize this is your group chat when you see Seokjin’s ellipses.

Seokjin: they’re being nauseating out on the patio [9:33 PM]

Seokjin: steer clear [9:33 PM]

Y/N: we are not being nauseating [9:34 PM]

“We kind of are,” Jungkook murmurs. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he lowers his chin to your shoulder. “Which reminds me – you should probably be in there, talking to people.”

You huff, knowing he’s right and your phone dings again.

Hoseok: Y/N, go home [9:36 PM]

Surprised, you stare at the screen. Hoseok continues typing, and another message follows.

Hoseok: Olya agrees – go home. You’ve been here for hours and said hello to everyone important. We can handle the rest. [9:37 PM]

Before you can counter, Jungkook’s hand closes around your phone and tugs it from your grasp.

“Thank god,” he sighs, kissing the nape of your neck. “Because it’s taking my last shred of willpower to keep from ripping this dress right off you.”

His free hand splays across your middle, tugging you backwards as you sharply inhale.

“Are you ready to leave?” he asks, low in your ear.

“Yes,” you blurt, making your decision. “Let’s go. Right now.”

Jungkook chuckles, following close behind when you take his hand. Not caring who sees, you drag him through the crowd and towards the main entrance.

Once you’re outside, you reach for your phone and Jungkook sets this in your palm. Coming to a stop alongside you, he slips both hands in his pockets.

“Where do you want to go?” He tilts his head. “Your place or mine?”

A million (not PG) possibilities run through your mind, rendering you speechless. Judging by his expression, Jungkook seems to be thinking the same.

“Your place,” you say, only to pause. “But… Dante is at my neighbor’s.”

“We can go to your place,” Jungkook offers. “Or we can pick up Dante and head to mine. I don’t care either way.”

You stare at him, speechless, too stunned by the absolute perfection standing before you.

Mistaking your silence for disapproval, Jungkook starts to backtrack. “Or not,” he says. “You could ask your neighbor to watch Dante? Or we just head to your place. I really don’t care, Y/N, I just want –”

“No – no,” you blurt. “It’s not that. None of what you just said is bad. It’s just – you’re wonderful,” you say, somewhat breathless. “Let’s get Dante and go to your place. If you don’t mind.”

Jungkook breaks into a smile. “I really don’t,” he says, turning around as headlights swing into the drive. “I hope you don’t care I had my driver waiting.”

“I don’t,” you respond, your giddiness only growing when Jungkook takes your hand.

Opening the door, he waits for you to sit before crossing to the other side. You’re nearly buckled in when he joins, leaning over the console to give his driver directions. When the car starts to move, Jungkook settles backwards – casually pushing the button to raise the partition.

Ensconced in darkness, every inch of your body goes taut.

Shifting on leather, you stare straight ahead and do your best to ignore the mounting tension between you. You have an entire car ride before you reach his place. This is easier said than done though, because the longer you sit, the more you remember the first night you met.

“So.”

Jungkook’s voice is low, seductive, and unthinking, you turn. You immediately regret this because now, you’re aware of how close Jungkook is. His right hand splays across the seat between you, taking up space in a way that’s distracting.

“So,” you exhale.

Your voice is breathy, even to your ears and his upper lip curls. Leaning forward, Jungkook gently drags his thumb along the curve of your jaw. Unbidden, you shiver.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look?” he murmur, not looking away.

“If I didn’t know better,” you say, “I’d think you were trying to get me naked.”

Jungkook lifts a brow. “Oh, I am. Not here, though. I won’t make that mistake again.”

“Mistake?”

“Mm.” His voice drops. “You don’t deserve to be undressed in the backseat of a car. You deserve to be spread out like a feast – worshiped and eaten until I’m fully sated.”

You feel your heart quicken. “And… if I want the first option?”

“Well, then.” His hand slowly slides to the back of your neck. “We’ll just have to compromise.”

Bending, his teeth scrape your jaw as you tip your head back. Other hand finding your waist, Jungkook pulls you closer as you squeeze your eyes shut. Tilting your head, Jungkook lightly tugs the lobe of your ear between his teeth.

A whimper escapes you, thighs clenched tightly together.

“Slow,” Jungkook whispers. “We have all night.”

“But I want you now.”

His grip on you tightens. “Careful,” he warns. “Each time you’re a brat, your orgasm gets delayed.”

Chest rising and falling, you open your eyes. Jungkook stares back at you, his gaze lidded as a sudden wave of boldness overtakes you.

“So, what can I do, your highness?” you ask.

Absent, his thumb strokes the side of your throat. You aren’t sure Jungkook is even aware that he’s doing it, so focused is he on the shape of your mouth.

“I don’t think we have enough time for roleplay tonight, princess,” he muses. “What you can do is let me worship your body the way that I want.”

“The way that you want?”

His gaze flicks to yours. “What I want is for you to be so wholly undone, you forget your own name.”

Oh.

Sensing approval, Jungkook shifts even closer. His other hand spans your ribcage and when he brushes the underside of your breasts, you suck in a breath.

“Jungkook,” you groan.

Lightly, Jungkook swipes his thumb over your nipple. Due to the low back, you aren’t able to wear a bra with this dress. It means you feel every touch, each caress as Jungkook plays with your body.

Shifting even closer, he cups your breast with one hand. “Fuck,” Jungkook mutters. “I’ve missed being able to touch you like this.”

His thumb circles your nipple, other hand joining to find your other breast. You long to touch him back but are afraid if you start, you won’t be able to stop.

Pressing your legs tightly together, you rock against your seat in desperate search of friction. Hand rising to the back of your head, Jungkook crushes your mouth to his. Unable to take it, your arms twine around his neck to pull him even closer. His hand falls to the seat, covering your body with his as he–

The car beneath you slows.

Freezing above you, it takes several moments for Jungkook to speak. In the corner of your eye, you realize you’ve reached your apartment and slowly sit back.

“Fuck,” you exhale.

Shutting his eyes, Jungkook still doesn’t move. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Fuck.”

Eventually, he shifts to unbuckle his seatbelt. Hiding a smile at his clear distraction, you push open your door and step onto the curb. You’re halfway to the door when his arms wrap around you from behind.

“Come on,” he sighs, pulling you backwards. “Let’s go and find Dante before I let you convince me to fuck you in my car.”

“Jungkook!” you gasp, glancing around to ensure no one heard.

The street is thankfully empty and, stifling laughter, you pull him inside. The five stories to your apartment are less painful than usual, possibly because Jungkook refuses to let go of your waist. It makes for rather awkward travel, but you can’t bring yourself to complain as you reach your front door.

“Jungkook,” you laugh, fumbling in your clutch for the key. “I need Dante’s things.”

“Mm.”

“Which means I need my hands,” you point out.

Pouting, Jungkook drops his arms and reluctantly steps away. Unable to deal with his face, you turn around on tiptoe and kiss him. Accepting your touch as currency, Jungkook holds open the door while you step inside.

Dropping your clutch on the counter, you head straight for your bedroom. The faster you pack, the faster you reach Jungkook’s apartment, and the rest of your night can begin.

“Do you need any help?” Jungkook yells.

“No!” you call back, grabbing a duffel bag.

Tossing clothes in, you barely pay attention to what you grab. Scanning your bathroom, you throw in some face products and zip up the case. When you return to the kitchen, you come to a stop.

Jungkook has assembled a random assortment on your counter. Dog food, treats, bathroom bags, a few leashes – basically, everything you might need for Dante. Lifting a brow, you walk closer.

“Is this for Dante?” you ask, picking up a chew toy.

Jungkook nods, a bit sheepish. “I wanted to help, so I pulled some stuff together.”

Setting your bag on the floor, you reach up and pull his face down to yours. Your kiss is soft, sweet and Jungkook looks puzzled when you pull away.

“Thank you,” you murmur. “That was really cute.” You glance sideways. “He only needs like, a quarter of this but it was cute.”

Laughing, you help Jungkook pack what Dante actually needs in a second bag and finally, you’re ready to go. Switching off your lights, you head towards the door – only to walk straight into Jungkook’s chest.

Surprised, you look up. “What?”

He glances at your duffel bag. “What’s in there?”

Pulling the strap tighter across your chest, you shrug. “Things,” you say. “Clothes for tomorrow, face stuff, pajamas –”

“Pajamas?” Jungkook nearly smiles.

Determined, you lift your chin. “Yes, pajamas.”

Taking a step closer, Jungkook lets his arms fall. You take an unconscious step backwards, your hips hitting the counter as, slowly, he places one hand on either side of you.

He tilts his head. “Do you really think you’ll be needing clothing tonight?”

Before you can utter so much as a syllable, Jungkook turns around to pull open your door.

“Let’s go,” he announces.

Adopting a scowl, you stalk past. Laughing quietly to himself, Jungkook shuts the door as you cross the hall. You knock on Jimin’s door, and several barks follow (most of them Dante’s).

Stopping beside you, Jungkook holds out a hand. It takes you a moment to realize he’s asking for the duffel bag. Ignoring him, you knock a second time and Jungkook uses your momentary distraction to relieve you of the bag.

You’re just turning sideways to scold him when the door opens. Seeing the two of you, Jimin’s jaw drops as he freezes.

“Jimin, hi!” you blurt as a furry bolt of lightning enters the hall.

Dante runs straight for Jungkook, and you watch – utterly betrayed – while Dante rolls onto his back. Staring up at Jungkook with heart-eyes, Dante wags his tail. Obeying the obvious demand, Jungkook bends to give Dante belly rubs.

Regaining himself, Jimin leans against his door. “Wow, Y/N,” he says with a laugh. “Seems like you’ve been replaced.”

Glancing upward, Jungkook squints. “Hey, Jimin. Nice to meet you again.”

“Nice to see you.” Grin widening, Jimin glances your way. Over Jungkook’s head, he mouths, so, is this a thing? before he turns back. “Will we be seeing the two of you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Jungkook continues to rub Dante’s belly. “What’s tomorrow?”

“I’m having people over to play video games,” Jimin says. “My girlfriend will be there, along with Hoseok and Olya. You’re more than welcome to come.”

“Thanks for the offer.” Jungkook looks up. “If Y/N wants to, I’m in.”

“We’ll see,” you say. “It all depends on what we’re doing.”

Brow lifted, Jungkook slowly stands from the floor. Heat floods his gaze, understanding exactly what you mean. If you’re able to withdraw yourself from Jungkook’s bed before next week, you’d be surprised.

Glancing between you, Jimin pauses, then nods. “Cool.” Subtle, he raps on his door frame. “I’m heading back inside before you do each other in the hall, but text me if you’re coming, Y/N. Night!”

Stepping inside, Jimin shuts his door. Jungkook stares after him, startled before chuckling. Bending, he scoops both bags from the ground.

“That guy just says whatever’s on his mind, huh?” he muses, clipping on Dante’s leash. Dante actually lets Jungkook do this, which is in itself a rarity.

Trying not to let on how amazing this is, you shrug. “Jimin is blunt, but he’s also super nice. If you did want to go tomorrow, we can.”

“We’ll see.” Jungkook straightens. “Like you said, we may be… otherwise occupied.”

He gives an exaggerated wink and it’s a physical battle not to kiss him right now. Turning away, you head down the hall. You absolutely refuse to jump Jungkook in the hallway.

Outside, you take Dante to the bathroom while Jungkook sets your stuff in the trunk. You’re unsure if Dante will enter a car other than yours but needn’t have worried. As soon as Jungkook opens the door, he bounds right in and curls up on the backseat.

The entire drive to Jungkook’s place, Dante insists on sticking his head out the window. At first you try to pull him back in, but Jungkook doesn’t mind, even going as far as to join Dante at the end. You cringe beside them, unable to keep from laughing when they both bark at passersby.

Once parked, you take the special elevator from Jungkook’s garage to his place. His doors slide open, and Dante bounds forward, forcing you to drop the leash.

Allowing him to explore, you enter the hall at a slower pace. Jungkook is close behind, setting down the bags to remove his loafers. Stopping beside you, he places a hand on your back.

“Hey,” he says.

Exhaling lowly, you turn to face him.

“Hey,” you murmur.

Jungkook searches your face. “Are you okay with all of this?”

“Yeah. It’s just… this feels big. You know?”

“I know.” He pauses. “I haven’t been serious about much in my life, Y/N, but I’m serious about this. About you.”

“Good,” you say, and step closer. “I’m serious about you, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles down at you. “Good.”

Bending, Jungkook brushes his lips to yours – once, twice before he pulls back. He leaves a small space, enough room to say no. Instead, you grip his jacket and pull him closer. Jungkook breaks down, a low groan in his throat as his mouth opens yours.

Cupping the back of your neck, Jungkook pulls you to him. He molds your body with his and you inhale, feeling his arousal thicken between you. His hardness presses against your stomach and you bite down – hard – on his lower lip.

Abruptly, he pulls back. “Wait,” Jungkook pants.

Somewhat dazed, you stare up at him. Tearing his gaze from yours, Jungkook glances away and you spot the source of his concern splayed out on his sofa. Dante – now fast asleep, all paws in the air.

“He…” Jungkook gapes. “He was just running around.”

Reaching up, you return Jungkook’s stunned gaze to yours. “He’ll be like that until morning,” you say. “Dante only does things full-out.”

“Hm,” he muses. “Likewise.”

Slowly, Jungkook’s gaze drops to scan your curves. His hands follow, cupping and seeking each inch of bare skin. When he stops above your ass, Jungkook cups you roughly and pulls you against him. Lowering, he opens your mouth with his in a dizzying kiss.

Without looking up, Jungkook walks the two of you backwards and down his hall. At his room, Jungkook ignores the handle to press you to the wood.

“I’ve thought about this so many times,” he confesses, breaking away to kiss down your jaw. “Every night since you left.”

‘Since I left? Jungkook, you were the one who –”

“You said I shouldn’t have come.”

“Because you shouldn’t have,” you say, distracted by his tongue on your skin. “That didn’t mean I didn’t want you there.”

“Complicated woman,” Jungkook growls, lifting his head. “Let’s just say what we mean from now on, yeah?”

You can’t help but smile. “A lofty goal.”

His gaze sparks. “I like to be aspirational. For instance”– achingly slow, his hand travels down your thigh – “I want you to come three times tonight.”

“Three?”

Hitching your knee, Jungkook presses his hips to yours. You inhale when you feel his cock harden against your core. Without looking away, he thrusts upward, and you can’t help but whimper.

“Three,” Jungkook repeats.

Hand sliding higher, he regrips your ass. Holding tight, Jungkook thrusts again and you groan at the feel of him through his pants. You want less fabric, more clothing gone and Jungkook seems to echo your urgent desire.

Reaching behind you, he fumbles for the door. It opens abruptly and you nearly fall, but Jungkook catches you in time. Kicking the door shut behind you, he doesn’t bother with the light – not with the skyline so bright before you.

Turning you around, Jungkook drags both palms up your sides. You can’t help but shiver, moaning when his lips brush below your ear.

You’re surprised when he doesn’t remove your dress. Instead, Jungkook steps closer and entwines your hand with his. Pulling you backwards to his chest, he slowly lifts your arm to drape around his neck.

Slipping a hand beneath your dress from the side, he cups your breast. Inhaling, you arch when Jungkook flicks over a nipple. This is followed by a soft caress, turning your nipple rock hard while you squirm against him.

Pushing back with your ass, you grind his crotch until Jungkook grabs your hip.

“Be a good girl,” he murmurs, flicking your nipple again.

Exhaling roughly, you slip a hand in between you to palm over his pants. Rather than punish you for it, Jungkook pushes his cock forward, into your hand.

“That’s it, princess,” he breathes in your ear. “So fucking dirty, aren’t you? Couldn’t keep yourself from touching my cock. See how hard you make me?”

“So hard,” you whimper. “Want you inside me.”

“Not yet. Need you out of this dress.”

Barely do the words register before Jungkook tugs down your zipper. You’re forced to let go when Jungkook steps backwards. Undoing the clasp at your nape, he releases your dress to fall to the floor.

Staring at him in the window, you watch Jungkook step forward.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, gripping your waist. Pressing you to his front, he casually trails a hand up your naked body. “So fucking beautiful.” With his other hand, Jungkook plays with the line of your panties. “What do you want, Y/N?”

“More,” you pant, watching your reflection’s chest rise and fall.

“Hm.” Cupping your sex, Jungkook pulls you back. “I need you to be more specific,” he whispers in your ear. “My mouth? Hand? Want to come on my cock?”

“All of it,” you blurt, greedy.

Jungkook chuckles. “Need you out of those heels first, princess. No matter how fucking hot you look in them.”

You nod and, in the window, watch Jungkook bend to help you from the shoes. Tossing the heels aside, he sits back on his knees. You stare at his reflection; certain you’ve never seen someone so beautiful.

“Bed,” Jungkook rasps with a jerk of his chin. “I need you to walk to my bed, princess. Then turn around and place both hands on the mattress.”

Whatever snappy retort you had dies on your tongue. Instead, you merely nod and obey. Watching him in the window, you see Jungkook stand, palming himself as you walk. Reaching his bed, you lower your palms to spread on the sheets.

Silent, Jungkook watches, only heightening your anticipation.

His footsteps are soft, heavy while approaching the bed. Your breath quickens at the soft click and thud of his belt hitting the floor. Glancing over your shoulder, you almost wish you hadn’t. The ravenous look on his face, staring at your cunt nearly ruins you.

Gaze flicking upward, Jungkook catches you watching.

“Face forward,” he says, stepping closer to run his hand up your thigh. “Or I’ll go even slower.”

Swallowing hard, you face forward. True to his word, Jungkook is slow in his exploration. His fingers casually glide along the edge of your panties, teasing and dipping but never removing. Every now and then, he slips a single digit inside, barely grazing the mound of your swollen flesh. Biting down on your lip, you push your ass backwards.

Darkly, he chuckles. “Do you want these panties gone, princess?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, please,” you grind out, glaring over your shoulder.

Smiling wickedly, Jungkook slips his hands under your panties and pulls towards the ground. He helps you step out, leaving you suddenly bare. Placing one hand on your lower back, Jungkook pushes you forward until you feel his weight over yours.

“All this,” he murmurs, sliding his hand up your leg. The tips of his fingers brush where you ache, and you suck in a breath. “For me.”

“For you,” you groan, head hung in anticipation.

The warmth of him is tangible, his waist aligned with yours but just out of reach. Jungkook’s hand wanders up the back of your thigh.

“Can I touch you here?” he murmurs, dragging his fingers in a v over your aching center.

“God, yes.”

Repeating the motion, Jungkook lightly strokes each side of your sex. On his way back down, his thumb swipes your center, and he lets out a groan.

“So fucking wet,” Jungkook says, sounding pained. “You’re so fucking wet, and I’ve barely touched you.”

“I can’t help it,” you whimper.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” he says, his tone soft as he slips a finger inside. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Men should line up and kneel before a pussy like this.”

A spark ignites. Lifting your head, you meet his gaze in the window.

“Then, why don’t you?” you ask sweetly.

Jungkook’s pupils dilate. While you watch, he lifts his hand to slap the round curve of your ass. “Because,” he says lowly, “other men don’t know what to do with a cunt as gorgeous as yours. I do, though – don’t I, Y/N?”

“Yes,” you exhale, arching again. “You do.”

Even this – the slow anticipation – is driving you wild. You know Jungkook will make you orgasm and know he’ll do it in a way which makes you feel good; a level of trust you’ve extended to few others.

“That said.” Jungkook chuckles and drops to his knees.

Staring, your lips part when he spreads your folds. You’re sure you must be a sight, bent over and glistening while he stares at your opening. Suddenly, Jungkook spits and you sharply inhale. His spit trickles down your pussy, mixing with your slick and making you clench.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you groan when he circles your clit with his thumb. Before you can say any more, Jungkook spreads your folds and the next thing you feel is his tongue. “Oh my god,” you gasp, broken.

Bent over, the best you can do is stay upright while Jungkook eats you out. Nose brushing your clit, he follows this with his mouth, then tongue. At some point, his fingers join in, gently tracing your opening before slipping in one, and then two to slowly stretch you.

You whimper, hands fisting in the sheets while your legs start to tremble. Jungkook sucks on your clit, long and slow before flicking his tongue in staccato. Thighs spreading further, you sink down to allow better access.

Switching positions, Jungkook licks your clit while his fingers fuck you. “Goddamn, Y/N,” he breathes. “You’re so wet.” Pulling away, he stands from the floor to bend forward. One hand on the bed, Jungkook parts your legs with his other palm. “Clenching around me so nicely.”

Slipping two fingers back in, he spreads you wider before pulling out. Lips brushing your neck, Jungkook plays with your pussy as though he owns it.

“That’s it,” he murmurs. “You’re doing so good with just two of my fingers. Need to stretch you out before you can take my cock.”

“I can take it,” you pant.

“Not yet,” Jungkook says, curling his fingers. “Want you dripping and ready before I fill you with my cum.”

You clench at the thought, and Jungkook lets out a hiss. Lifting his hand from the bed, he cups your front to stroke your clit. The pleasure builds quickly, his fingers continuing to move while his other hand teases. Bent over and helpless, all you can do is take it.

“Jungkook,” you gasp, your thighs shaking. “I’m close.”

“Oh?” he murmurs, adding a third finger. You groan, feeling stuffed – and still not remotely close to how thick his cock is. “Take another – you’re doing so well for me, princess.”

Shifting, his fingers hit a spot deep inside you which makes you cry out. Pushed over the edge, your orgasm is fast – squeezing his fingers, you gasp as you ride out the wave. Jungkook helps you through it, coaxing you gently down from the high.

When the last of your tremors has subsided, he withdraws his hand. Pressing a kiss to your neck, Jungkook waits until you turn around.

“How was that?” he asks.

“How… was that?” you ask, amazed as you catch your breath.

Earth-shattering, and yet you barely feel sated. Most of Jungkook is clothed and, feeling the injustice, you take a step forward and press your naked body to his.

“I want more,” you tell him.

“That so?” Jungkook murmurs, cupping your ass with one hand.

“Yeah,” you say, your breath quickening when his fingers swipe through your slick. “Want you naked, Jungkook. Please.”

Wordless, he steps backwards to lower his hands to his pants. Jungkook undoes a button and, finding his efforts too slow, you move forward. Replacing his hands on the zipper, you tug them down as he laughs. Assisting your efforts, Jungkook steps free from his pants to reveal black boxer-briefs.

“Now, your shirt,” you demand.

Lifting a brow, Jungkook undoes the first button. “So greedy,” he says, unable to stop from smiling. “Someone might think you only want them for their body.”

There’s no bite to the words, but you soften regardless. Yoongi’s frankness about Jungkook using sex to keep people away surfaces in your mind. When Jungkook’s shirt hits the floor to reveal tan skin and ink, you barely even notice, stepping closer.

“Hey,” you say softly.

He pauses.

“Jungkook.” You hesitate. “As much as I love… this, between us… that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I want more than that. I want you. In every way. I need you to know that.”

Uncertainty steals across his features, soon replaced by understanding. Bending his head, Jungkook kisses you – a gesture so light, you barely feel it.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. “I do know.”

“Good.”

“Good.” He pulls back. “And as wonderful as that is to hear, I have every intention of making you come in my bed until you forget your damn name.”

Your breath catches, followed by a moan when his teeth scrape your jaw.

“Sit on the bed,” Jungkook says quietly in your ear.

Unthinking, you obey. When your knees hit the mattress, you sit and scoot backwards until your feet leave the floor.

Jungkook tilts his head. “Spread your legs. I want to see you.”

Slowly, you spread them and lean back on your elbows. Jungkook inhales, his eyes darkening as he takes a step forward.

“Wider,” he murmurs, lowering one knee to the mattress. “Good. That’s better, princess.”

Sliding one hand up your thigh, Jungkook brushes a kiss to your skin. Grasping your waist, he uses this as an anchor while leaning forward.

“How do you want me?” he asks and looks up.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how do you want me?” His lips curve. “From behind? Standing? Bent over? Spooning? You aren’t on your period, right?” Jungkook asks, as though the thought just occurred to him.

“N-no,” you assure. “Not yet.”

“So?” he asks, returning to the question at hand. “What position do you want to start in?”

“Uh, all of them?”

His lip twitches. Sitting back, Jungkook crosses both arms across his chest. This causes his biceps to flex which, honestly, is unfair. It seems Jungkook knows what he’s doing, as well – he lifts a brow with maddening arrogance.

“All in good time, princess,” he says. “But how do you want me to fuck you right now?”

“I want to see you,” you confess. “Please.”

Understanding, Jungkook nods and lowers himself to his elbows. Little by little, he releases his weight to press you to the bed. His kisses start slow, but soon, Jungkook’s hands are skimming your curves, losing himself in the feel of your body.

Grinding your hips, you feel the length of him harden. Sliding one hand down his side, you trace the band of his boxers to tug them lower.

Jungkook starts to laugh when you mostly succeed in freeing his ass. Scooting backwards, he removes his boxers and tosses them on the floor. When Jungkook returns to your legs, you exhale with satisfaction – which soon turns to a groan when he captures your nipple with teeth.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you arch against him. Jungkook’s cock slides against your sex, getting him wet in a way that drives you mad.

“Y/N,” Jungkook rasps. “Look at you. So fucking needy beneath me.”

“Need it,” you moan. “Need you.”

“You have me,” he says, intensity flooding his gaze.

“Do I?”

“All of me,” Jungkook promises. Reaching lower, he positions himself at your entrance. “I’m yours, Y/N.”

Almost reverently, Jungkook drags his cock through your arousal. Teasingly, he circles your clit before moving lower. He does this again – and again, and again – until you think you might burst.

“Jungkook,” you pant.

Gaze lifting, Jungkook presses his cock to your center – and freezes. You go still as well, certain something is wrong.

“Jungkook?” you ask, tentative. “Is everything alright?”

“Fuck.” Jerking back, his hand drops. “Shit – I forgot. Condom.”

Leaning across the bed, Jungkook starts to open a drawer when you grab his hand. Halting his movement, Jungkook glances your way.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, returning immediately. ��Do you want me to stop?”

“I – no,” you breath, face suddenly hot. “It’s just… I’m on the pill. And I’m clean. I was tested last week, and I haven’t been with anyone else since the second time we, uh…”

Jungkook looks at you intently. “What exactly are you saying, Y/N?”

“I’m saying you don’t need to use a condom – if you’re also clean.”

“I am.” He pauses. “I went to the doctor this week. But Y/N…” Jungkook trails off. “I’ve actually never…”

He falters, unsure and you realize what he’s trying to say. Jungkook has never had sex without a condom. You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised, given his lack of relationships but still – you didn’t think there’d be anything you’d done before him.

Gently, you touch the side of his face. “We don’t have to,” you tell him. “I know this is a big step. I just thought I’d ask.”

When you move to withdraw, Jungkook catches your hand in his. “It is a big step. But I want to take it with you. If you’re sure,” he adds, quiet.

“I’m sure.”

Jungkook stares at you a long moment, then releases your hand. Lowering himself, he opens your mouth with his. Fingers twisting into his hair, you raise your hips, and he lets out a groan. When you shift, feeling his cock press to your hip, the need is nearly unbearable.

Reaching down, Jungkook repositions himself at your entrance. There’s a moment of hesitation before he pushes in, stopping after only an inch. Both of you inhale, relishing the feel. The tip of his cock is swollen and thick, and when Jungkook pushes in a bit further you stifle a moan.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he gasps, sounding raw. “You feel so fucking good.”

Lifting your hips, you make him slide an inch deeper.

Jungkook grunts. “Don’t do that,” he warns. “Unless you want me to come in the next twenty seconds.”

Smiling, you fall back and allow him to go at his pace – not that you mind. Jungkook stares intently at the point where he enters your body, unable to believe this is happening. Each inch he gains makes you feel a bit fuller and when he’s nearly halfway, you reach down to slowly rub your clit. Jungkook’s eyes glaze at the sight, muttering something beneath his breath about how hot you are.

With a final thrust, he sheathes himself fully and you gasp. Filled to the brim, you have the unbearable urge to move but Jungkook’s expression is nearly past his limit. Exhaling lowly, his gaze lifts to yours.

“God,” he mutters. “This is… the way you feel… is so unbelievable.”

Breath catching, you nod. Without a condom, you can feel every inch of Jungkook inside you. It makes him feel closer, as though you’ve let him in in more ways than one. Lifting your hips, you try to take him deeper.

Jungkook grits his teeth. “Not yet,” he warns. “Give me… a minute.”

Eventually, the tension leaves his jaw and Jungkook slowly pulls out. The loss of him makes you whimper, and with equal deliberation, Jungkook pushes back in. When he sees you bite down on your lower lip, he smirks.

Before you can huff, Jungkook repeats the motion – this time, harder. Both of you groan when your hips meet, feeling the way you easily stretch around him.

“Goddamn,” he murmurs, one hand on the bed. “You’re so perfect for me, baby. Feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock.”

Tightening your legs around his waist, you take him in deeper. Lifting himself onto his elbows, Jungkook thrusts a bit harder to hit a new angle.

“Ah,” you moan, arching your back. “There, Jungkook – right there.”

“There?” he murmurs. “That’s what you want, princess?”

Frantic, you nod and try to coax him faster. Jungkook merely chuckles, dragging the motion out so you feel his entire length inside you.

“Patience,” he coaxes. “You’re so good for me, Y/N. So fucking tight and perfect – made for me. This pussy was made for my cock.”

“Yeah, it was,” you breathe, your chest brushing his. “You’re so fucking hard. Fuck me so good.”

“Yeah, I do,” Jungkook growls, claiming your mouth with his own.

He doesn’t change speed, but each thrust is sharp, hard, driving you up on the bed. The motion causes your breasts to bounce, caught in between you. Breaking away, Jungkook lowers himself to suck a nipple between his teeth.

“Oh my god,” you whimper.

Pulling abruptly back out, Jungkook adopts a kneeling position. Yanking your thighs closer, he notches himself at your entrance and pushes – a groan escapes, the position allowing him to get even deeper.

“That’s it,” he breathes, bending forward. “Want to feel you come on my cock.”

Pressure building, your hands slide up your body to cup your breasts. Inhaling softly, Jungkook fixates on the sight as he thrusts even harder.

“Is this what you want, princess?” Jungkook grunts, the hard, heavy hit of his cock makes your eyes glaze. “Thought so.” His smile is smug. “All you want is a thick cock inside you.

“Yes,” you groan. “Don’t stop, Jungkook.”

“I’m not gonna stop, baby,” he says, leaning forward to hit a deeper angle. “Need my cock to make you come so good, right? How’s that?”

“Th-that’s it,” you gasp, choking on words. “Jungkook!”

Each thrust deepens the pleasure, your thighs starting to shake while you fight to hold on. Your perception narrows to his cock between your legs, his chest brushing yours until you come. Pleasure breaks over you, so strong it nearly pulls you under. Gasping his name, you hear Jungkook swear when you tighten around him. He continues to thrust, supporting your orgasm until you whimper.

Slowly, your eyes open to find him above you. Brushing a kiss to your cheek, Jungkook gently pulls out and sits back. Struggling to prop yourself up on both elbows, your gaze lowers. His cock stands in what must be a painful erection, but Jungkook pays this no notice.

Instead, his attention is fixated on you. “Are you alright?”

You nearly laugh. “Are you?”

A wry smile crosses his face. “Answer the question.”

“I’m… amazing,” you exhale, collapsing slightly. “Blissed out by the multiple orgasms.”

Jungkook’s brow sketches upward. “Just two, and you’re done?”

His tone is dark with promise and instantly, your body stirs. Not that it ever fully relaxed – the second orgasm did more than the first, but still, you crave more.

“Are you done, Jungkook?” you ask sweetly.

Boldly, his gaze lowers to your spread legs before him. Blistering heat enters his gaze, taking in your drenched cunt.

“No,” he admits, slowly fisting his cock. You watch while he drags his hand up and down. “I’m not done, but I can come on your chest. Or in my hand. Whatever you prefer.”

“Or,” you exhale, flipping onto your stomach, “you could fuck me like I know you want to.”

From behind, Jungkook inhales. Glancing at him over your shoulder, you nearly come on the spot. Jungkook stares at you, ravenous, as though you’ve gifted him heaven. There’s no need to ask twice.

“On your hands and knees, baby,” he demands, moving closer. “I need you hard and fast. Feeling you come around my cock was so fucking hot – I won’t last long.”

Nodding, you hastily position yourself, ass-up on the bed. Coming to a stop, Jungkook drags his fingers through the slick at your entrance. Grasping your hips, he pulls them higher and leans forward.

‘Such a good girl,” he murmurs, slipping two fingers inside you. “Can you come for me again?”

“Yes,” you pant, pushing back on his hand.

Withdrawing his fingers, Jungkook replaces them with his cock to fill you with one thrust. He pauses, adjusting to the feeling of you from behind. In the window’s reflection, you can see how good it looks to be fucked by his cock.

Jungkook’s eyes meet yours. Smirking a little, he lifts his hand to bring it back down. You groan at the sound, arching your back to invite him further. Jungkook obliges, spanking you harder when he thrusts his hips deeper.

“You want it rough?” he murmurs, sliding one hand up your spine. “Can you take it, princess?”

“Please, Jungkook,” you beg him. “I need you to make me come again.”

“So greedy.” Dragging his fingers through your arousal, Jungkook rocks his hips forward. “I love a woman who knows what she wants.”

“Harder, Jungkook,” you pant.

His grip tightens. “As you command.”

Pulling back out, he pauses – and releases whatever hold he had on himself. Jungkook doesn’t ease you into it; as promised, he fucks you hard and fast. Fingers digging into the sides of your ass, Jungkook pounds into you. Each thrust has his balls slapping your clit, pleasure sparking inside you.

“Oh – fuck,” you gasp, head thrown back. “Jungkook!”

Shifting his hips, he hits a spot deep inside which makes your whole body tremble. A deep, throbbing need spirals through you, leaving you weightless.

“Jungkook.”

Sensing the shift, he manages to go even faster. “Right there?” Jungkook grunts, and you nearly sob. “That’s it, baby. Just relax. I’ll take care of it. I’ve got you.”

Turning your head, you lower your chest to the sheets and spread your thighs wider. Yanking your hips upwards, Jungkook takes control and drives into your body.

“Oh – oh,” you gasp, worrying you might split in half.

“Come for me, baby,” Jungkook urges. “Want to feel you around me. Want to paint this cunt white.”

Edged beyond belief, your hand slips higher to trace over your clit. Noticing this, Jungkook groans.

“That’s it, princess,” he pants. “Touch yourself. Feel how fucking hard you make me. How badly I need to come. Can’t wait to fill you up. Let everyone know whose pussy this is. Do you want that?” he grunts. “Want me to mark you like that?”

“Yes,” you hiccup. “Want your cum so bad inside me. Want to feel you for days.”

The thought of it overwhelms you so much, you can’t hold it in – your orgasm claims you. Jungkook’s hips stutter when your body releases, squeezing him tightly. Gasping, he follows, the heat of his cum pulsing into your body. Jungkook continues to thrust until there’s nothing left, staying inside you while your breathing steadies.

Slowly, he bends and lifts you from the bed. Limp in his arms, you can’t help but smile when he kisses your neck. Eventually, Jungkook pulls himself out – you move to cup yourself, but he’s already there, his hand slipped between you.

Lazily, Jungkook drags his fingers through the mess, mingling your slick with his in slow strokes. When he exhales in satisfaction, you can’t keep your nipples from hardening.

Noticing this, Jungkook chuckles. “You like that?” he murmurs, continuing to play with your pussy. “Like the feel of my cum inside you?”

Wordless, you move your hips against his hand. Other hand traveling up your torso, Jungkook tugs a nipple, and you suck in a breath.

“If you keep doing that,” you whisper, “you’ll make me come again.”

Jungkook pauses. “Want me to?” he asks lowly. “I’d love to eat you out like this.”

On instinct, your lips part and you meet his gaze in the window. Jungkook grins and, before you can respond, he’s guiding you onto your back.

“Is that a yes?” he teases.

“Yeah,” you breathe, staring up at him.

“Shit, Y/N,” Jungkook mutters, staring at your messy sex. “You’re unbelievable.”

Although cock has gone mostly soft, it twitches at the sight. When you spread your thighs wider, Jungkook groans and lowers himself to the sheets.

He starts off slow, trailing his fingers up and down your oversensitive sex. When his touch starts to feel good, Jungkook grips your thigh to open wider.

“Don’t move,” he murmurs, and bends forward.

The first sweep of his tongue makes you sigh. Jungkook eases you into it, avoiding sensitive places, working your body until you writhe beneath him. When he finally takes your clit into his mouth and sucks, you arch clean off the bed. Lowering your hands to his hair, you guide Jungkook with strands wrapped around your fingers.

Growling, Jungkook moves one hand to your thigh to keep you pinned in place. His dark hair is a halo across your skin while he eats his cum from your pussy. Pushing your hips higher, you move in a circle to get him where you want.

Panting, Jungkook looks up. “You taste so good,” he murmurs. “Next time, I’m keeping my cum inside you. Want to pull up your panties and let everyone know that you’re mine.”

You stare at him, shocked and aroused by the concept. It’s something that’s never really intrigued you but now, with him, the thought is appealing.

“And I’m yours,” Jungkook adds, softer.

Before you can melt too much at this statement, he lowers his head and sucks your clit. Groaning aloud, you grab his hair and barely hold on. Finger tracing your entrance, Jungkook strokes and teases while you grind on his face. When he pushes his finger inside, the glide is made even easier by his cum inside you.

“Oh – fuck,” you gasp. “That feels so fucking good, Jungkook.”

“Does it?” Lifting his head, he curls his finger. “You like being this filthy, baby? Like having me eat my own cum from this perfect pussy?”

“Y-es.”

“Good,” he pants. “Because same.”

When you glance down, you nearly come on the spot. Jungkook’s hips are lifted, allowing him access to palm his cock while he eats you out. Stunned, you watch his ass tense while he grinds into his hand. A brief flash of his fingers through legs shows him cupping his balls, giving them a soft tug, and you nearly combust.

“Jungkook,” you groan. “Are you hard yet?”

“Nearly there, princess.”

“Want you inside me,” you say. “Now.”

Immediately, Jungkook pulls back to sit on his heels. Staring intently at your body, he strokes his half-hardened cock.

“Alright,” he said, his voice rough. “Touch yourself. Play with my cum inside you – that’ll get me so fucking hard.”

Spreading your thighs, you trail your fingers up and down your sex. Spreading yourself further, you give Jungkook the view he craves. When you sink a finger inside, he groans in approval and thumbs over his cock.

“Want you,” you say, watching him harden. “Want to feel you so deep in this pussy. Want you to fill me up with your cum and keep it there. Flip me over and fuck me so hard, I can’t walk tomorrow.”

Jungkook grunts, giving himself a final stroke before gripping your thigh to push towards your chest. Thrusting forward, he fills you in one stroke and you both groan in tandem.

“Fuck.” Jungkook stares, watching the last of his cum drip from your pussy. “You’re so goddamn tight, Y/N. Even tighter than before.”

“Feel… feel so full,” you say, breathless.

Jungkook’s gaze sparks as he slowly pulls out. “That’s it,” he breathes, pushing back in. “Gonna fuck all my cum right out of you. Fill you up a second time – you want that?”

“Yes,” you manage. “Please.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get,” he says, fucking you in rough thrusts which drive you up on the bed. “Gotta treat this pussy right.”

“You do,” you groan, face buried in his neck.

Jungkook’s hips are relentless, thrusting into you hard and making you tremble. Clinging to his back, you feel his steady thrusts bring you fast to the edge. You’re so close to breaking when Jungkook abruptly pulls out.

“Jungkook?” you say, dazed. “What are you –”

“Like this,” he says, shifting you to lay on your side. Grasping your knee, Jungkook lifts your thigh, pressing his hips to yours from behind.

Repositioning himself, Jungkook pushes back in. You gasp at the loss of control, everything feeling so wet and tight in the position. Releasing your knee, Jungkook gently pushes you forward to fuck you from behind.

“Jungkook,” you groan, pushing backwards.

“Yeah, princess?”

Your heart skips a beat. “I need… more.”

Sliding his arm beneath your knee again, Jungkook lifts your leg to open your body. The position allows him to get even deeper and, a groan slipping past, your eyes flutter shut.

“Keep your knee up,” Jungkook demands, and releases.

Hand sliding higher, he cups your breast to stroke over a nipple. Teasing, he trails lower to stop above your sex. When you whimper, he gives in and strokes in slow circles. Watching him touch you in the window reflection is an added rush.

“That’s it,” Jungkook murmurs, thrusting harder. “So fucking gorgeous. Ready to come so easily on my cock.”

“For you,” you moan. “Always for you, Jungkook.”

He growls, teeth scraping your neck as he draws his hand away and regrasps your leg. Pulling this higher, he tugs you against him to fuck even harder. Your entire body shudders, on the verge of release.

“Touch yourself,” Jungkook gasps. “I’m about to come.”

You obey, fingers slipping over your clit, lost in the feeling of him deep inside you. Already close to the edge, it doesn’t take long before you tighten around him. Pleasure breaks through you in a hard, quick orgasm which leaves you shattered. Jungkook comes soon after, moving inside you until the last of his cum trickles out.

He stays as long as he can but eventually, Jungkook pulls out. Grabbing a tissue, he returns to clean you and, once done, drops back on the mattress.

“That was…” Jungkook stares at the ceiling. “Amazing.”

Turning over, you loosely drape your arm over his chest. For once in your life, you don’t feel the urge to dissect what just happened. Gently, Jungkook lowers his head to brush a kiss to your temple.

“Yeah,” you exhale.

“I should probably clean up,” he says after a pause. “Want to use my bathroom? I can use the one in the living room.”

“Okay.”

Reluctantly, you pull back to place your feet on the floor. Staring out at the skyline, a thought suddenly occurs to you.

“Am I sleeping in here?” you ask, glancing over your shoulder.

Jungkook hovers, one foot on the ground. “Uh… I assumed so, yeah? Unless you want to stay upstairs?”

“No, no,” you hasten. “I want to stay here.”

“Oh, okay.” His shoulders relax. “Good.”

Jungkook’s grin makes you smile and, after retrieving your bag, you rush to get ready. Rather aggressively, you scrub your face – each second apart feels like wasted time. Once finished, you stare at your pajamas and then shake your head.

Heading to the door, you push it open a crack. Jungkook stands beside his dresser, plugging in his phone to charge. Despite what he said, he’s dressed in a new pair of boxers and not in the nude.

Pointedly, you clear your throat, and he turns.

Seeing you half in, half out of his bathroom, Jungkook lifts a brow. “Yes?”

Innocently, you blink. “Can I borrow a t-shirt?”

Shifting his weight, Jungkook crosses both arms. Again, this makes his biceps pop, and you narrow your gaze. His hotness infuriates you, amongst other feelings.

“Are you going to return any of my other clothing?” Jungkook asks drily. “Because I seem to be missing several other items.”

Eyes wide, you ask, “Are you sure it was me? Maybe your dry cleaner misplaced things.”

“Or I’ve loaned you several things you’ve yet to give back.”

“What can I say?” Grin wide, you shrug. “You smell good. That t-shirt I borrowed is my new favorite nightdress.”

Hearing this, his eyes go hazy with want. Silent, Jungkook turns around to walk towards his dresser. Withdrawing a large, cotton t-shirt, he turns around.

“You can have this,” Jungkook says, “on the condition my other items be returned.”

“Well, sure,” you say, accepting his t-shirt through the door. “Your other clothes don’t smell like you anymore. We’ll need a rotation.”

Faux annoyance vanishing, Jungkook leans down to press a kiss to your lips. “I don’t care,” he murmurs, pulling back. “Keep it. Keep all my shirts. I’ll walk around naked.”

“That would cause some serious traffic problems,” you say, slightly dazed.

Jungkook just grins, gesturing with one finger for you to turn around. Retreating to his bathroom, you slip his t-shirt overhead as you shut the door. Adding a fresh pair of underwear, you zip your bag shut and exit.

Jungkook is already in bed, his covers pulled back and waiting.

“Does Dante always sleep like that?” he asks when you climb inside.

“Like what?”

“You know.” Pulling a face, he mimics your sleeping dog. “On his back, with his tongue out.”

You can’t help but laugh. “That’s his natural state, I’ll have you know. How rude of you to judge him.”

“No judgment! I was scared I broke him.”

Grinning, you slide beneath his sheets. Draping your arm over Jungkook’s waist, you turn your head to rest on his chest. Gently, your fingers trail through the smattering of hair which leads to his boxers.

Frowning, you think about the last time you slept in the same bed. While that night at your apartment was wonderful, the morning after was less so and unthinkingly, your arm tightens. Staring at the ink on his chest, you trace Jungkook’s tattoos with your gaze and remind yourself how different things are.

“That night meant something to me,” he says quietly.

Startled, you look up. “What night?”

Jungkook exhales. “When I stayed at your place. When we slept together, and I… well, it had been a long time since I stayed at someone else’s place. Actually, ever.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He pauses. “I panicked. I woke up and saw you and… I knew this was special.” Jungkook’s gaze intensifies, needing you to understand. “I’d been feeling things for a while, but that was the day I woke up and… I just knew. But you didn’t want more than sex, and there I was, breaking the rules. I was terrified you’d wake up, look at me, and know. So, I left.”

“Jungkook…” you murmur, putting the pieces together.

He exhales. “It was stupid, but there it is. I’m sorry.”

“So, that day… you left because you felt too much?”

“Yeah. I tried to be casual about it in my text, but I think I may have overcompensated.”

Your lips twitch. “I’ll say.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His gaze softens. “I’m sorry if I did.”

“That makes two of us. But Jungkook… you already apologized for what happened before – so did I. This is a fresh start.”

“A fresh start, mm?” He fights back a yawn. “Sounds nice.”

“Mm.” You return your head to his chest. “Consider this a blank slate.”

Rather than relax, Jungkook tightens beneath you. Uncertain, you lift your head and find him staring at the ceiling. His brow furrows, deep in thought and you wait for him to speak whatever’s on his mind.

“I just… I should tell you more.” He swallows, and you watch his throat work. “About my childhood. About my family, and why I… why I am the way I am.”

“You don’t have to tell me right now,” you say, sensing how difficult this is. “I want to know more – I do. I want to know everything about you, Jungkook. It doesn’t have to be tonight, though. I’m not going anywhere.”

Grateful, Jungkook turns his head to look at you. Grasping your hand in his, he lifts them both to press a kiss to your fingers.

“Tomorrow,” he murmurs, lowering them to his chest. “I just… I want tonight to be about the two of us. No one else.”

You nod because you understand. It’s difficult to let people in; even the ones you want to know more about. Guilt steals through you though, knowing what you already do.

“You should know, though…” You hesitate. “Yoongi mentioned your childhood to me. He didn’t give specifics, but he gave a general idea.”

Jungkook merely chuckles. “I know,” he says softly. “And like I said, I’m not angry. Yoongi was right. I tend to let people think the worst of me – and rather than prove them right, I push them away. It’s something I’m working on in therapy.”

“Therapy, huh?” you murmur. “That’s great, Jungkook.”

“Been seeing them on and off. It’s a lot of change, taking over Jeon Energy. I thought it’d be good to talk through it all.”

“That’s really good,” you agree. “I’ve been thinking of doing the same.”

Jungkook simply nods and accepts this. After all, trauma never really disappears. It just becomes easier to deal with, something to live with and to know how to respond to.

“Anyways.” Jungkook swallows. “I wanted to tell you I’m trying. I want this. I want you. And I want to be better for me, too.”

Heart swelling against your ribcage, you press even closer.

“I want you, too, Jungkook,” you whisper. “It’s hard for me to trust, but I trust you. Completely.”

Cupping your chin in one hand, Jungkook lifts you to him for a kiss. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours.

“You know the room you stayed in?” he murmurs.

Brow furrowing, you nod. “Yeah?”

Releasing your chin, Jungkook’s gaze shifts towards the door.

“I made that room for my mom,” he admits. “It was the type of space she liked, a style she would have picked. When she died…” He hesitates. “I was scared I’d lose that warmth in my life. That I’d turn into my father, obsessed with the family business. I think I did for a while,” he confesses, glancing down. “But now…”

Trailing off, Jungkook doesn’t finish his sentence, and you don’t make him. Taking his hand, you lower your head to his chest again. Jungkook’s arm tightens, pulling you closer, and your thigh ends up draped over his.

“You could never be like your dad,” you murmur against his skin. “Granted, I don’t know him well, but I know you, Jungkook. You helped me without asking for anything in return. You changed Jeon Energy from the inside and maybe that took a while, but it’s the kind of change that lasts. You’re the best person I know,” you add, your voice dropping. “If I need to spend the rest of my life reminding you, I’ll do it.”

Gently, Jungkook tilts your chin upward with his thumb. Your gazes meet, and you’re struck by the sudden realization that this man is yours.

Just as you’re his.

“Likewise, princess,” he murmurs and kisses you.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed :) This is the last chapter in this series. I will be writing an epilogue, but it will take place after this story. I do not have a tag list, so please do not ask to be added or ask about updates. My writing progress can be found in my updates schedule, linked in both my header and FAQ!

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kasagia · 1 year

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I'll be back for you pt. 2 (end)

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The battle is still going on. Not only the one between Alina and the Darkling but also the one inside you. Which side will you choose to be on? Who will you support? The choice is only yours. Warning(s): Darkling, angst, quarrels, fighting, bl00d, the reader is having a hard time and doesn't know what to do and who to choose, but we all love these two guys Word count: It depends, but 13k+ in total Taglist: @woowwwee @aemondsb1tch @queenofspades6 @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @kentucky-criedfricken

"Moya soverennyia?" Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned to Heartrender, giving him a gentle smile and telling him to continue.

Over the course of this month, you've already gotten used to your new role, announced by the Darkling to his Oprichniks and Grishas.

His partner. His heart. His moon. The new Soverennyia.

So far, Aleksander has kept his promise to make you his equal. But you've been waiting patiently for the day when keeping you on an equal footing with himself will not be in line with his plans.

And you didn't know whether to be glad or disappointed that he was serious about keeping that promise.

"Y/N? Shall we go?" you looked up at the man, remembering what he had come for. Kirigan asked for you.

"Yes. Thank you, Fedyor." you nodded as you walked out with him by your side. You smiled as soon as the man started babbling about the latest gossip from the camp. You appreciated that he was trying to make your trip pleasant by at least trying to strike up a normal, casual conversation with you.

Another thing you had to get used to. If there wasn't an unsettling Darkling figure hovering by your side, it would be either Ivan or Fedyor. Kirigan insisted that their presence around you was necessary to keep you safe.

Like you weren't a powerful moon summoner.

The Darkling's "care" didn't blind you. He was afraid that you would run away again, that despite everything—all those tender words and promises whispered into his skin under the cover of the night—you were not fully devoted to him. That even though you were with him in body and mind, you left your heart with a group of your "crows".

And he was right.

But you weren't willing to give him any evidence.

"Sankta Y/N!" the guard at Aleksander's tent of council announced your arrival, interrupting all conversations between the general and his chief commanders.

"Come here, moonlight." the Darkling has summoned you without even lifting a glance from the papers. You took the only empty seat right next to him and glanced at the maps spread out in front of him. "Ivan and his men have been on the trail of the firebird for weeks and finally found something interesting… I thought you'd like to know more about your future amplifire." he whispered in your ear as the conversation around you resumed.

You nodded your head, turning your gaze to the man closest to him. You smiled as you saw Fedyor (trying to) fawn over him imperceptibly. Maybe you and Ivan didn't get along very well, and your relationship with Fedyor deteriorated after your "betrayal", but you'd have to be blind and insensitive not to notice and appreciate the bond between them. You couldn't help your stupid heart long for something they had.

"Something wrong, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)?"

"Last week was a bit tiring, that's all. Your mother can be a pain in the ass." you mumbled, taking his hand. You unknowingly began to draw patterns on the skin of his hand with your finger, making him feel better. Something that didn't go unnoticed among the Grishas present in the tent.

It turned out you weren't the only one left behind. Aleksander caught Baghra.

From the old woman's story, it seemed as if all he cared about was keeping the two of you captive. Thanks to the saints, no other crow caught his special attention. Except Kaz...

"I'll repay you for taking care of her, milaya. In a month, no one and nothing will get on your nerves, moya tsaritsa."

"Hold on to the titles. Ravka is not at your feet yet."

"It will be. As soon as we enlarge the fold, the whole world will be at OUR feet. And then we'll make sure that no Grishas are afraid or ashamed of who they are ever again."

You wanted to believe him. Really. That he cares only for the good of people like you, but you already knew him too well to allow yourself to be that naive.

"I dream of nothing more, Aleksander." you whispered, making sure only he could hear his real name. He smiled, cupping your cheek with his hand and placing a tender kiss on your forehead.

"What will we do with the rebels, moi soverennyi?" one of his Grishas caught your attention. Your heart beat slightly faster at the mention of your friends. Another trick you had to pick up pretty quickly with so many heartrenders by your side. You silently thanked Nina every time you used her trick to calm your heartbeat. Only thanks to her, no one has yet received any clues or evidence that you can play the role of a double agent. "Or deserters? They should not have the honour of seeing Ravka get greater after years of oppression."

"The courts will judge them. We will not deal with such unimportant things; as soon as we secure our country from hostile neighbours, we will deal with internal changes. We'll make sure the Grisha are safe on their own land. There will be time for everything else later."

The courts... when Aleksander's plans come true, he will become a tsar. Establisher of new laws. Guardian of peace and justice. He will judge his enemies. You couldn't let any of your friends stand in front of him then. Or better, to prevent Aleksander IV/The Darkling from reigning at all.

"The sooner we get there, the better. What do you think, moonlight?"

"The people are tired, and our horses are too. I don't think a day's delay will do us any harm. Everyone will have enough time to gain strength and prepare for the firebird hunt or other tasks."

"With all due respect, moi soverenyi, Lady Y/N is right. The mood in the camp is not good; people could use a little respite."

"Then it will be as my moon said. Tell our people to get ready for tomorrow. You can get some rest yourselves. You all are free." Aleksander released them, shocking both his men and you with how easily he changed his mind.

He put his hand on your thigh, stopping you from leaving the tent with his soldiers. It wasn't until the last Grisha was out of your sight that he turned completely towards you.

"Are you sure everything's okay? You've been acting weird lately." he asked, examining your face carefully. You really wish Genya was here… she'd be better at concealing your dark circles than face powder.

"Weird? No I... I just trying to fit into a new role. I have to admit that it's very hard to be you." he chuckled, moving your chair closer to him so you could lean against his side. He ran one hand through your hair and wrapped the other around your waist to feel you against him.

"I don't know what you do or how you charm everyone around you, but you don't have to try very hard to earn their respect. They already value your decisions and adore you. They even call you a Sankta. It's so much more than I'll ever be."

"Should I call you Sankt Aleksander, then?" you asked, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smirk on your face, to which he just snorted in amusement. If you were a heartrender, you would know how his heart beat faster as soon as he saw that smile on your face.

"As long as I have my own star shining for me, I can stay known as The Saint With No Stars." he said, kissing your cheek and resting his forehead against the side of your head. You sat like that for a while, enjoying the hug and each other's presence.

It wasn't just your people who were tired. You two, too, have felt the burden of the past few weeks acutely. The search for amplifiers, the fights between Aleksander and Alina, your secret help to the crows, performing in front of an audience, recruiting new Grishas—Aleksander's entire war campaign took its toll on him as well as on you.

And while you wanted to curse yourself for seeking solace in the arms of the man who made you go through all of this, you just couldn't (and didn't want to) deprive yourself of his comforting presence. Ironic, right? To find peace and safety in the arms of someone you should hate with all your heart.

"You're not alone, my little saint. You can tell me everything that bothers you. You don't have to deal with your thoughts by yourself." he whispered into your hair, holding you tighter.

He wasn't Kaz. If he had heard even a speck of your doubts, he would have increased his guard around you and watched you more than before. He couldn't know what was in your head, what tormented you day and night, or the moral struggle within you. That you felt something for both of them at the same time. And that even if you tried so hard for the last few weeks, you couldn't sort out your feelings.

"It goes both ways, Aleksander." you mumbled, pulling away from him so you could cup his cheek with your hand.

You ran your finger across one of his black scars. He narrowed his eyes as soon as he felt your soft skin on his scar. You knew he hated them. That he despised any reminder of what had happened in the fold. About how his volcra played with him. For a moment, you thought he would drop the idea of extending the fold after this. However, in some strange way, his encounter with the volcras only strengthened that desire.

You planted a small, tender kiss on one of the particularly large scars—the one running down the centre of his face. Aleksander sighed tremblingly.

"Using merzost and summoning nichevo'ya only makes them worse. You do not have to do that. You don't have to destroy yourself from within to fight this war."

"I'm not weak. I know my limits, Y/N."

"I never doubted it, Aleksander." you ran your hand through his hair, calming his anger. You've probably both been surprised at how easily you can change his mood every time you do it. "You are hundreds of years old, more experienced in your power than any Grisha on this earth. That doesn't mean that you'll listen to your limits or that you won't push yourself beyond your safe border. You know what I'm worrying about all the time? You. Whenever you use this."

"Don't bother yourself with it. I'll always be back for you. No matter how many nichevo'ya I summon or how much merzost I use. Nothing can keep me away from you."

You didn't answer anything. Instead, you moved to his lap and caught his lips in a tender kiss.

It was your safe answer to each of his gentle declarations of love. He would never refuse your kiss; the feeling of your soft, warm lips on his was like nothing else he had known or felt in hundreds of years. Unfortunately for you, he wasn't the only one whose heart beat faster the moment your lips met.

And even though neither of you trusted each other, you enjoyed that little sweet moment between you two. After all, everyone needs someone close to them.

Even an enemy company was still better than none. But could you still call Aleksander your enemy?

~•♤♤♤•~

You had to admit that even though you were "on Darkling's team," not much had really changed in your life. For example, for balance, instead of dreaming about Aleksander, you dreamed about Kaz… and you didn't know which of those dreams were worse.

On nights like this, when you lay by Kirigan's side (which was rare considering how much of a workaholic he was), you weren't afraid that he'd accidentally hear you whisper Brekker's name. Even the shadow lord had to rest sometime, and when he did, he usually slept soundly.

That's why you fell asleep peacefully, wondering if your mind would give you at least a moment of peace and let you enjoy a blissful, unconscious sleep.

You groaned as an unimaginable amount of light hit your eyes. You rubbed your eyes and turned on your other side to hide your face on the shoulder of the man next to you. A very familiar and rare giggle made you open your eyes immediately.

"Kaz?"

"Finally. I thought I wouldn't wake you up until noon. And believe me, I've tried many things. Even the trumpets." he was surprisingly in good spirits, and the mere fact that he didn't flinch from embracing you while you were lying on the same bed under the same duvet told you it was just a dream again.

A real Kaz would never do something like that.

No matter how much you want it.

"You obviously didn't try hard enough." you finally choked out, glad to see that familiar amused-annoyed look on his face.

"Well, our little crow couldn't wake you up either."

"Little crow?" you asked, confused, but the man ignored your question. He ripped the covers off you, to your surprised squeal, and tossed them on one of the armchairs.

"I'll take care of her today. You and Jes are on a scouting mission at one of the mansions of those "rich snobs," as you like to call them. And for the saints' sake, Y/N, it's just a scouting mission. Our daughter doesn't have the best role models anyway; it doesn't help that her mother fights all over the place with literally everyone just because she's a powerful moon summoner and thinks she can do anything." he said as he was going through the closet. He threw some clothes at you, laughing when instead of you catching them, you let them hit your face.

You were so shocked that you couldn't make a move.

"Daughter?" your question remains unanswered again.

"Get dressed and go downstairs. Nina is making breakfast. I think you wouldn't want to miss it, Moonstone."

He left the room, leaving you dazed on the bed. What the fuck was going on here? You had a daughter. With Kaz. It really was a twisted dream.

You got dressed anyway and looked around the room. No extraordinary things. Just a bedroom with things that would probably belong to Kaz and you. You sighed as you opened the door. Your room was normal, practically identical to Kaz's, but the hallway looked... homely. Too homely, judging by the toys scattered around and the drawings of crows, Kaz, you, and some little kid. Your child.

Having no idea what might be waiting for you downstairs (apart from Nina making waffles and Kaz), you hesitantly descended the stairs as if they would take you to the heart of a great battle.

And you could partly say you were right.

You made your way to the living room, where everything else looked pretty normal. A few drawings, crayons, and pencils were strewn across the floor (some of the child's masterpieces were intertwined with Kaz's plans), but other than the usual mess, there was nothing out of the ordinary here.

The problem started behind the door leading to the dining room with an open kitchen, from where came children's shouts and laughter.

"Mom!" something small attacked you as you walked into the room, hugging your legs with all its strength so that you almost fell to the floor. "Aunt Inej helped me climb a huge tree! And Uncle Jes, Wylan, and Mat promised me and Lily that they would make us a playhouse on it. And you know what?! Dad taught me a new trick; can I show you?"

The pleading reflection in the eyes, so similar to yours and attached to a little face that was the perfect combination of you and Kaz, left you speechless. You were looking at your daughter. Child of the Moon Summoner and a Bastard from the Barrel.

"After breakfast, little spitfire. Let your mother wake up. Our moon girl doesn't take mornings very well." Jes answered for you as she dragged you to the table where the rest of the crows were sitting. Between him and Wylan sat their own princess, probably the same age as your daughter.

It might be unrealistic for the crows to be sitting in your kitchen eating breakfast before going on their missions, but you had to admit that as strange as it was, the dream was very... enjoyable. Especially when you saw your daughter climb into her father's lap and order him to cut the waffle into smaller pieces.

Even though you could barely make sense of the situation, everything seemed... normal.

As if Inej should always be showing the children tricks with her knives at the table, and Wylan and Jes should be bantering at your table with themselves and their adopted daughter like a good old couple.

As if Nina was always meant to be your cook, laughing at that "Mr. Amazing Hat" should have paid her double for feeding you all while she forced Matthias to help her.

As if Kaz was doomed to watch them all with a little smirk, occasionally giving you a fond look while he entertained your daughter on his lap.

And for a moment, you felt as if you belonged to this world of your invention, as if you had always belonged there.

The crows dispersed (too fast for you), leaving you alone with Kaz and your daughter, who ran upstairs to get ready to spend the day with Uncle Wylan, Lily, and Dad.

And when Kaz took your hand, pulled your chair closer to his, and caught your lips in a soft, sweet "good luck" kiss, you prayed to all the saints you knew to never wake up from this dream.

"Be even a minute late and I'll send half the Dregs after you." you shivered as his ungloved hand caressed your cheek gently.

"Kaz Brekker worried about someone? I can't believe I lived to see that day." he adjusted the ring on your finger—the exact same one he gave you to defend against the Darkling—and planted a kiss on your ring finger.

"I take care of what's mine." you knew from the mischievous twinkle in his eyes that the bastard had something planned… you never thought he'd want to leave you a hickey on the most sensitive spot on your neck. You held your breath, not thinking, as you threaded your hand through his hair, pulling him closer. "Y/N Brekker has not given any feisty answer? I can't believe I lived to see that day."

And just as his hands finally touched the skin of your hot waist, your treacherous mind decided to end this beautiful, unrealistic dream... making you long for this moment and life you'll never have.

~•♤♤♤•~

You hate waking up like this.

When you had to return to this role. To fight emotions that did not make it any easier for you to make an already difficult decision.

Despite your pure, selfish desire to live as a simple crow, partner in crime (and not only) to Kaz Brekker, you've had to face the fact that you ARE a Sankta. Grisha. The world has given you a role you never wanted. But now that Aleksander had acquainted you with all otkazat'sas crimes against your people, you could not stand aside.

You had to finally take a side.

And you had to do it faster than you'd like.

You sighed as you looked around the empty bedroom. You saw a patch of light behind the curtain separating the Darkling's office from your bedroom. Without thinking, you pulled off the warm duvet and walked barefoot all the way to his office.

You stopped at the entrance to his office, watching as he busily worked on some sketches. His shadows hovered obediently around the distracted man, who hadn't even noticed your silent presence.

"You'll work yourself to death someday, making it too easy for your enemies." you accosted him, sending a streak of very bright light onto the papers he was holding.

You slowly walked towards him; the shadows parted on your way to the dark-haired man, who had been staring only at you since you turned his desk into a bedside lamp.

"Only if I'm not blinded by my moonlight first." with a flick of your wrist, your light disappeared, making the glow of the candle flames the only light in the general's "dark office".

"You're slowly turning into a mole, you know that, right?" he chuckled, extending his arm towards you. You walked over to him and leaned against him as he pulled you closer to him with one hand. "What is this?" you asked curiously, taking one of the sketches on his desk.

The man next to you tensed, trying to snatch the paper from your hands. You sat on top of him, reaching your arms high up to prevent him from doing so.

"Milaya..." he grunted a warning, placing his hands on your waist so you wouldn't accidentally fall off his lap.

Once you had a good look at the drawing, you turned in his arms and slid down so that your back was resting against his chest. You turned your head to look at his face. He stared at the drawing, avoiding your questioning gaze.

"Is it a house plan? Why are you drawing something like this?" he gave you a puzzled look, which made you snort in annoyance. "Don't look at me like that. I'll recognise your line anywhere. What is it for?"

He sighed, gently taking the paper from your hands and tossing it on the desk. He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. But as soon as his gaze met yours, he opened up.

"After our conversation today, I thought that being Ravka's queen isn't something you needfully want… that's why I have this alternative."

"And what exactly are you thinking about?"

"Well… we'd have to take the reins of the new country for a while, but later, when things settle down? Someone else may be dealing with the weight of power."

"Wait… you… are you telling me you don't want to be a tsar?" you were shocked. You didn't know if he was playing with you or if he was being completely honest for the first time you'd met him. His words couldn't be trusted, but his eyes... when they looked at you so vulnerable... It was impossible to even think that there were evil intentions behind those eyes.

"As long as I have you? I don't want a throne, a crown, or having to go to those extravagant balls for highborn nobles who are too self-absorbed to take care of their people. And the last thing I want is to see you miserable because of the life you didn't want to."

"Hundreds of years on earth, and all your dreams are limited to living in a little hut with some moon summoner?"

"Lapushka, these are just preliminary plans. I'm not going to build you a little hut. It will be a palace."

And what could you say when a powerful Black Heretic volunteered to leave his established position just to fulfil some of your stupid dreams of a simple, normal life? What could you say when those captivating dark eyes, eyes that have seen more than one battle and cruel death, stared at you with such affection and devotion?

You did what you always did when you didn't know what to say to him.

You gently grabbed his neck and pulled him into a kiss. If he understood that you only did it when he left you speechless, he didn't show it at all. He enjoyed every ounce of your affection.

"Let's go back to bed, Sasha… tomorrow is also a day." you whispered into his mouth as you pulled away.

"Go. I'll be joining you soon."

You nodded, stepping slowly off his lap and forming a small ball of light in your hand, and headed back towards your bedroom.

"Thank you, Y/N." it completely froze you in place. You stood halfway to the "doorway" to your bedroom, completely unsure of what or why he was thanking you for. Someone who should rather curse you instead of being grateful for anything.

"Whatever for?" you asked, turning to face him, glad you managed to keep your voice from shaking.

"For believing in me. That you are one of the few who still stay by me. I wasn't completely honest, zyoma maya olya. Not with you. Not with anyone for many centuries. Despite my half-truths, you still chose to forgive me. To trust me. To be by my side. To help me." he said, walking over to you with his eyes fixed on yours in such a way that you realised those irises would be your undoing. In one way or another. "I just… I've been fighting this war alone for so long…" a red light went on in your head as soon as his hand cupped your cheek.

He was playing with you. He tried again to manipulate and deceive you. Your mind screamed for you to move away from his touch and do anything to break this spell between you. But your foolish heart was deaf to anything other than Aleksander's voice.

And those fucking puppy eyes he was giving you…

"You're not alone, Aleksander. Not anymore."

No matter how much you wanted to deceive yourself and your mind.

No matter how much you fought against his charm.

It was true. You will be with him till the end...

Either stabbing him in the back or being his queen. You weren't sure how it was going to end yet.

And your confused emotions and gullible heart only made it harder to hate the man who kissed you, like nothing in this world but you mattered to him.

~•♤♤♤•~

This time, you weren't plagued by any strange dreams about the future you might have had.

You woke up alone as usual to a tiny ray of sunlight that somehow made its way through the general's black tent. You involuntarily thought about Alina. Baghra told you she was supposed to take control of your little rebel group. You couldn't help but worry about the fate of the sun summoner. She didn't want to be a saint either. But she seemed to accept it better than you did.

"Moya soverennyia?" you sighed as someone's voice pierced through the tent. You really weren't up to it today.

"Yes?" you ask while still basking in the warmth of a bed.

"The general ordered me to tell you that we're leaving in two hours."

"Thank you."

Fortunately, the messenger merely set your breakfast tray down and did not disturb you any more. Reluctantly, you dragged yourself out of bed, changed clothes, and began flipping through the new letters to both you and the general.

Nothing could have prepared you for a letter from Colonel Rietveld.

With trembling hands, you broke the seal and opened the letter, making sure the envelope was burned in the fireplace as soon as possible. You didn't know how much time you had before Ivan or Fedyor burst in. You had to be quick.

Moya soverenyia,

I hate that name for you so much that it hurts me just to write it down.

Don't worry, I'm not a fool who writes such things at the very beginning of the letter without making sure that only your hands can open it. Despite your firm belief that I have remained that stupid, rash boy, I must say that I am not.

(And you know how much I "hate" proving you wrong.)

I don't know how much time you have to yourself (although I hope HE leaves you much longer compared to the time he is with you. I also believe you realise he doesn't deserve an ounce of your light.) so instead of properly scolding you for saving us and playing hero (lecture you won't miss), I'll get to the point.

We are close. Closer than he realises. That's why you don't have to play martyr, spy, hero, or whatever you're pretending to be now.

We need you with us to end the fold and HIM once and for all.

I need you.

So if you can… come to us. You know where to find me us. Crows always find their way to their nest.

I We are waiting for you, moon girl.

K.B.R.

P.S. I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.

"The crows always find their way to the nest… stupidest hint you could have given me, Kazzle."

"Y/N?! Are you ready to go?"

Fedyor's voice snapped you out of your thoughts about Brekker. You threw the letter into the fire, making sure that there was nothing left of it but ashes. Then you took your black-silver kefta and went outside with the heartrender for your first meeting with colonels.

Alina and the crows needed you. Kaz needed you.

If you were to run away, you'd have to do it at night, when Aleksander's guard dogs weren't watching your every step and he himself was sound asleep beside you. You just didn't know if you should do it. Running away would be your ultimate betrayal to Aleksander... betrayal to the other Grisha. Were you ready to fight the people you've become close to over the last few weeks?

All the people inside and outside the tent believed in their Sankta Y/N. That you will widen the fold together with Aleksander. That you will give them peace after years of fear, humiliation, and ridicule. That they would get their own safe piece of land to call home. But is it possible to build a house on the blood, tears, and bones of others?

The meeting dragged on unmercifully, and the mere fact that Aleksander was missing made you suspicious. He did not miss such meetings. Never. Something very important must have happened.

You finished the meeting earlier than planned. Fortunately, no one complained and they obediently left the tent. Fedyor walked you back and left you alone after you lied that you needed to finish packing and that you'd rather do it yourself without anyone's help.

You managed to sneak out of the tent without anyone by your side and go to the tent where Baghra was being held. You had a feeling that Aleksander might have gone there secretly from you. And you were right.

You slipped inside unnoticed and hid behind the tent's multiple layers of curtains, making sure none of them saw you. The shadows circling around the tent only made your task easier.

"Where is your sobachka? She never leaves your side, not if it isn't necessary." you rolled your eyes at the woman's snarky comment. She was lucky you preferred to eavesdrop on them.

"It's nice to see that you're starting to warm up to your future daughter-in-law and are worried about her. Y/N is resting before we left. I guess you understood that this is your last chance to tell me everything you know about a firebird."

"You want to marry her? Does she know about your plans?" she asked, as shocked by his idea as you were.

"No, but thanks, Baghra. At least you're interested in my opinion." you shuddered at the thought of having a woman as your mother-in-law. One of you would definitely not survive this.

"She'll find out at the right time."

"Like about everything else, darling." you thought bitterly. Maybe they were all right. Maybe Aleksander really was a lost cause, not worthy of your time...

"You don't want to learn from your mistakes, do you, boy?" at least you weren't the only one who thought so too. As you could see, Aleksander, however, did not care much about her words, or at least he did not show it.

"What do you mean?" he asked and took a step towards her, getting dangerously close to your hiding place.

"I don't recall Miss Y/L/N appreciating your half-truths lately. Despite what happened, you still repeat your actions. What a pity. But it's good for her. Maybe this time she will be smart enough to see that all you care about is your power and nothing more."

Baghra was right. You three knew it. A pre-Ravka Y/N; a girl before becoming a moon summoner; a thief before being kidnapped from Ketterdam would have fled to the other continent before the Darkling long ago. But you've changed... not exactly for the better.

"Y/N is by my side. She is all that matters now to me. She is the future. She will stay with me till the end. She is the one…"

By my side. I've always seen you by my side.

"Yes, I know she is." she cut him off with her trademark mocking smile. "But WHERE does her loyalty lie, boy?"

It was a very good question. A question you and Aleksander didn't have a sure answer to. You could say that he doubted your loyalty too, judging by the way he tensed slightly under his mother's gaze. But you knew him too well for a moment to have the illusion that he would let Baghra win their duel of words.

"Be careful. You don't really matter anymore. I can find the answer to my question without you. Y/N will help me."

I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust.

"You put so much hope in this girl. What a naive child you became. She doesn't love you and never will love again. Once broken, trust cannot be rebuilt, Aleksander. Whatever beautiful lies she feeds you, they are just empty words. She will leave you. She'll run back straight into her boyfriend's arms right after she stabs you in that black, cold heart."

The silence after her words was painful. For both you and the man. Yes. It could all end like this. It would probably even be best for you - to get away from it all, from him, even before all hell breaks loose with the fold, Grishas and Otkazat'syas in the lead roles.

You could live peacefully. No saints, Grishas, power-hungry people, or your possibly dying just because of what you've become. Only you, Kaz and the crows.

I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

But could you just abandon the Grishas? To leave it all behind, like an unpleasant memory, and cut off from Ravka and her problems forever? Get away from HIM?

I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me.

No. If Baghra was right about anything, it was that Aleksander would not stop chasing you as long as you lived. You were stuck with him. The light of his darkness... unless you eclipse him so much that there will never be any more shadows accompanying the moonlight.

I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you.

You could have done it. You knew you were capable of this and even greater things. You could kill them both right now if you wanted to. Thanks to the little amplifier Aleksander had already given you, you were much more powerful than any of the shadow summoners.

But could you live without YOUR darkness?

"Tell me where to find the firebird." Aleksander's demand snapped you out of your thoughts. Only now have you noticed that Baghra has somehow gotten out of her shackles, summoning her shadows against her own son.

"It's too late for the firebird, boy."

"Please don't threaten me. It will be the worst for you." he didn't want to fight her. You saw it very clearly in his eyes. And you'd be lying if you said you weren't pleasantly surprised.

"You know that I loved you, Aleksander. I swear I did. But I guess it wasn't enough."

You don't agree with her. She could love him more—enough to wisely outsmart him and set him on the right path. But if she couldn't do it—his own mother— then how big were your chances?

"No, please no! No! Please! No! No!" dread. Something you've never heard in a Darkling's voice or thought he could feel. The sheer fear he showed immediately sparked your action.

You came out of hiding, running inside just in time to get between nichevo'ya and Baghra. A bright white light shot from your hand, blinding everyone in the tent except you. The nichevo'ya moved away from the woman and Aleksander, fleeing from you into a corner.

You glanced at Baghra, making sure she was okay, and ran over to Aleksander, who was kneeling on the floor.

"Y/N?" his low, scared tone of voice made your heart clench with grief. You knelt next to him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and rocking him back and forth.

"It's okay, Sasha. Nothing happened, everyone is fine."

"I… I didn't mean it. I swear. I…" he stuttered through his tears as the effects of summoning nichevo'ya took their toll on him.

"Shh, I know. Everything's all right, just give me a second, Sasha." Aleksander hugged you tighter, to Baghra's snort, which you shot a stern look at. Surprisingly, the woman looked away from you, wincing slightly. You were shocked that she left this tender, almost defenceless gesture of her son without comment. You glanced at her reddened neck from the grip of the shadows. Nichevo'ya must have hurt her badly to show signs of pain. Someone had to take her away and heal her. But you couldn't just leave him like that. "It's okay. I'll stay with you, Aleksander. I am not going anywhere." you whispered, placing a soft, tender kiss on his temple, back to making him sure he's safe. "Ivan!"

You've never been so grateful for the presence of a man hovering over you all the time. From your one glance, Ivan knew what to do next without hesitating for a moment: enter the tent full of shadows and lead Baghra out.

Now all you had to do was deal with the trembling Darkling in your arms, who seemed to cling to you like a child to a teddy bear after a nightmare.

"It's okay. They can't hurt anyone. I made sure they did not come any closer. You're safe, Sasha." you continued to whisper, stroking his back.

After a few minutes of listening to your comforting voice and heartbeat, it calmed him down enough for him to stop clinging desperately to you. He had you on his lap, running his hands over your body - making sure his shadows didn't hurt you.

You knelt like that for a while, looking into each other's eyes in silence. And for a moment, very brief and fleeting, you felt blissful, utter peace, completely forgetting about the cares waiting for you behind the tent curtain.

About people waiting for further commands from their soverenyias.

About the fact that holding you man was a terrible liar.

Love is for madmen, Y/N.

"How much of that have you heard?"

"Enough to know that you can't control them. None of them."

"I can… but only for a while." he murmured, still looking into your eyes and cupping your cheek. It took you a moment to realise what his words meant.

Your light was gone. And the Nichevo'ya themselves returned to him. Which should be impossible, considering you attacked them moments earlier. They should want to kill you. Just like Baghra.

And then the truth hit you.

Aleksander wasn't lying when he told you that you were his anchor. Only with you near him could he fully control his new power.

You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Aleksander..." you chose to whisper his name tenderly and pull him into a kiss to calm both his maddening heart and your tangled thoughts.

You may have just saved Baghra, but will you be able to repeat your feat for someone else? Will Aleksander's shadows listen to him again and refrain from attacking you?

If Darkling had no control over them, why was he so desperate to enlarge the fold - to inflict even more pain on himself? Did he want to get rid of them this way - by exploiting most of his power? Or maybe he knew that his end was near anyway, and enlarging the fold was meant to be the culmination of his whole life? Maybe that's why he was so willing to give up a future for you. A future that he wouldn't have anyway?

You had so many questions, but the only person who knew the answers to them didn't seem willing enough to reveal their secrets. And yet... maybe it was enough just to talk to him? Before Kaz, the crows, Alina and Mal put their plan into action and got rid of him forever.

I dare you to come back and take what's yours.

Were you brave enough to confront the Black Heretic about the truth he was hiding? Did you even want to be privy to his plans?

I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us.

One thing was certain.

You had to choose a side.

Before it's too late to rescue your true love.

*Yes, there are two endings*

~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~

You didn't know if you were doing the right thing.

You didn't know if removing the fold would actually solve the problem, or if it could have been solved peacefully by convincing the Otkazat'syas to create equal rights for the Grisha.

You didn't know if, after destroying the fold with Alina and giving Ravka's power to Nikolai, the situation would stabilise at all.

You didn't know if you could defeat the Darkling.

But you knew where and to whom to run as soon as the first stars appeared in the sky.

You weren't thinking at all. You just grabbed a few essentials and left everything behind as you ran straight ahead, exactly where your instincts told you to go. It's as if the moon and stars themselves led you to HIM.

Kaz was right. Crows know how to find their way to the nest.

You don't know who was more surprised. You or Inej patrolling their hideout. But you both agreed to throw yourselves into each other's arms as soon as your eyes met.

"It's good to see you." she murmured as the two of you parted. "Alina was worried that you'd changed your mind, that the Darkling had manipulated you again. Even Jes was panicking, and I have strong reason to believe Kaz is planning a way to get you out of HIS camp right now. Nina can't stand how his heart pounds every time the outside door opens."

"Then let's go inside before they storm against a hundred armed Grishas."

Inej put her arm around you and you both entered through a hidden passage to their "nest". You walked down the hall and were about to run inside when Inej grabbed your wrist and put her finger to her lips to silence you.

"For God's sake, Kaz, it's just Inej! Can you calm down before you have a heart attack because you get excited every time someone opens that damn door?!" Nina's annoyance amused you. You giggled, feeling genuine and carefree for the first time in months.

A sudden silence filled the living room. Inej dragged you with her to the entrance, confirming the crows' suspicions. You were home.

"What? No welcome hug for your moongirl? Ouch."

Jes was the first to lunge at you, nearly knocking you to the floor, and if it weren't for Alina, who was on your other side, hugging you with all her strength, you would have probably landed on the floor.

"About the damn time, Y/L/N."

You laughed a second time, hugging the rest of the crows who had joined you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nikolai and Mal watching the scene with a smile. However, the group was effectively blocking your view of the one person you desperately wanted to see.

The tap of the staff made the crows and Alina move away from you. You were standing in front of Kaz, composed as usual, whose face showed no emotions. But the eyes… you were probably one of the few who could read those eyes.

"Missed me, Kazzle?" you asked, grinning mischievously as his nickname left your lips.

However, he didn't respond to your provocation. He stared at you for a moment, then took one slow step towards you. Then the second. Third. Fourth. His cane tapped on the old wooden floor until he stood in front of you. You were centimetres apart.

And just as you were about to make some funny, sarcastic comment, something astonishing happened. Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands HUGGED you.

You already hugged him. You were so happy and blessed by the saints that you knew the feeling of those arms around you. But he'd never done it so... calmly. As if his waters would never rise. As if Jordie couldn't appear in front of his eyes at any moment. And the soft sigh that only you could hear as he buried his face in your hair hinted at relief. Not fear. Not anxiety. Not disgusted by the touch. Just relief. And comfort.

"Welcome home, moonlight."

You didn't know how long your hug lasted or when the others left the room, leaving you alone. All you knew was that at that moment, your world was limited to the man in front of you. Your friend. A partner in crime. Your one true love.

Suddenly (much to your silent protest), he pulled away from you. You watched in surprise as he began to take off his glove. The ring stone gleamed in the candlelight, as did your white light, which unconsciously began to emanate from you the moment he hugged you.

"It belongs to you." he caught your eye, and without taking his eyes off yours, he took your left hand gently and put the ring on your finger. You shivered as his warm fingers touched your icy skin. You watched mesmerised as he leaned over your hand and placed a quick kiss on your ring finger.

"Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?" you whispered in a trembling voice, unable to believe what was happening.

"No snide remark about how unromantic I am proposing to you? Who are you and what have you done with Y/N Y/L/N?"

"You know damn well you need a bigger ring to propose to me."

"Duly noted." you giggled, which made him smile softly. You stared at each other, taking in the sight of each other and watching the changes in your appearance. You were both tired. You could tell by the dark circles under your eyes, but nothing could take away the sparkle of happiness. "I thought you'd stay. WITH HIM."

"I guess I just can't stay away from you for long. Even if there is someone who needs my help more than you."

"We need you. I… I need you." with his still-gloved hand, he cupped your cheek, never relaxing his grip on your hand as he moved closer to you. "I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. And I'm not gonna wait ages for you, just because it's never going to be safe for us. That's how we both live. Still in danger, fighting our enemies as well as we can. We can bear and deal with as many problems as no one else. If you hadn't come back for me, I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting. I… I will never stop fighting to be back with you. And those months without you… I told Pekka that the trick is not to love anything. Never, in all the years that you were gone and that I had you by my side in my worst and my best moments, have I ever realised that I was fooling myself. I loved this whole time, I still love and I'll always love."

"Kruge?" you saw him fight both his irritation and a smirk that threatened to break his bitter façade.

"I'm trying to be romantic for you here."

"And I'm trying not to cry and look even more like a mess. So forgive me for intruding on your speech with my comments you didn't anticipate, Brekker." he smiled, which made you mentally congratulate yourself on this small victory.

"I want you, Y/N Y/L/N. All of you." he suddenly let go of your hand and cupped your other cheek, moving so close that your noses were almost touching. The feel of his skin on yours was unearthly. It felt like a dream. And you'd curse any saint if it all turned out to be just another one of your dreams. "No matter what I have to do."

He was fighting with his haphephobia. For you. Because of you. And the sudden, impossible thought at that moment that you could live like in your dream crossed your mind.

You would take anything he could give you. It doesn't matter how much it would be, if it were just quick kisses on the forehead, hand, cheek, or a hug once a month. You don't care, as long as you have him.

"You've never had a problem getting what you wanted. What's stopping you now?"

And if Nina was annoyed by Brekker's rapid heart rate before, now she was furious when your heart had a fucking fit when Kaz kissed you.

You gasped in shock, freezing in place as you felt his soft lips on yours. Only after a moment, when Kaz wanted to move away from you in embarrassment, you grabbed him by the hair and pulled him to you, returning the kiss with all your longing and burning heart for him.

He must have breathed in relief as you took control and guided his inexperienced lips (although you had to be honest, he made the heat spread over you - which the sudden flash of white light illuminating the room only proved). You had to work on this sudden release of your light in his presence. Something that Brekker won't fail to joke about at the earliest opportunity.

You moved away from each other. You watched him closely, making sure he was okay. Kaz pushed your hair behind your ear and leaned in for another kiss. You were about to stop him, fearing it would be too much for him all at once, but luckily someone else interrupted you.

"Finally! The tension between you could be cut with a knife. Zenik! Give me my money! I was right—he'd pounce on her as soon as he saw her. That's my boy! Look, Wylan, how fast they grow. Only yesterday, he was our little boy who hadn't had his first kiss yet."

"Jesper." Kaz growled, glaring at him sternly. You were amazed at how quickly he went from sweet Rietveld to menacing Brekker.

"Yes, brother?"

"Run."

Jesper didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Wylan's hand and dragged him deeper into the hideout, laughing. From the loud slam of the door, you guessed he had locked himself in their room with him.

"Saints, Kaz, you can actually look happy!" Nina decided to take over the role of the absent Jes.

"Don't be ridiculous." he snarled, taking your hand and pushing his way through the people in the hallway, probably following in Jes' footsteps and locking the two of you into his own room.

But Nina was right. There was no mistaking it for anything else. Kaz Brekker was smiling like an idiot in love. And you probably had a similar smirk on your flushed face.

~•♤♤♤•~

You made it. You and Alina destroyed the fold. With fascination, all of you watched as it slowly disappeared from the world.

But it wasn't over yet. You glanced briefly at Kaz and the crows and nodded to Alina. The final stage of your plan. Defeating the Darkling.

You and Alina separated, walking through the remnants of the fold with your own lights at the ready.

You knew you'd be the one to find him. He wouldn't mind adding even more drama to the situation.

After you left him, he tried to contact you by infiltrating your dreams, but with the two amplifires in your body, you were now too powerful for that trick to work any longer.

You walked among the worst of the remaining shadows, knowing full well that he must be among them. You could feel it through your bond.

"Aleksander." you said without turning to face him. You knew that he was there, watching you, as always.

"Y/N. Are you going to kill me?" the mockery in his question fueled your anger. You turned around, drawing your sword in front of you. You were right. He stood surrounded by the remnants of the fold that defended itself against the destructive power of you and Alina.

"You left me no other choice." you snapped back, tensing as he took a step towards you, not caring at all about the weapon in your hands.

"Your hands are shaking. It doesn't make you look like a formidable opponent, my Y/N."

"I don't want to kill you, Aleksander. I never wanted to." you decided to change your tactics. You lowered your sword and walked over to him, facing the man as you both stared at each other.

"We could have changed the world. You and me. Together."

"Yes. We could." his gaze flicked to your lips for a moment, then he looked at your eyes again, searching for any feelings in them. This time, you'll lure him into your trap. You will be his end, just like you promised him. Even though you really didn't want to. "But I was never yours, Aleksander. I was meant to be a crow. Not a saint. Not a moon summoner. Not your equal. Maybe we could have had it all, but not in this life."

"We shall meet again, Y/N. This is not the end of our story."

"Possibly…" you took a step closer, resting your forehead against his. "But it will continue only in hell." before he could summon the shadows, you blinded him with your light, and in one swift movement, you plunged your sword through his heart.

"Without me… now they will come for you." he tried to scare you by reminding you of his shadows.

"Then let them come." you took the sword out of him, flinching as black liquid began to drip from the blade to the ground. Aleksander fell to his knees. You dropped your weapon and grabbed him as you helped him lay on the ground as he took his last breaths.

"And yet I die in your arms." he paused, coughing up black blood. Your guilt increased as grief overcame you. He didn't deserve such an ending, but you knew there was no other way but his death. "Make sure there is nothing left from me. Please, Y/N. Please."

"You have my word... I'm sorry, Aleksander." he cupped your cheek with his hand, staring intently at you as death slowly took him away.

"Don't be… my sweet, little saint." his hand dropped, and his head tilted back towards the moon shining next to the sun. Aleksandr Morozova died.

You screamed, suddenly feeling the light in your chest trying to split you apart. You don't know how long you screamed air from your lungs until the pain went away. With tears still streaming from your eyes, you stood up on shaky legs.

"Y/N?!" Alina ran over to you, immediately helping you stay on your feet. "What happened? We only saw your light and heard your scream."

"I… I don't know… I… I don't feel my power, Alina." the sun summoner had no time to reply. Kaz was on the other side immediately, carefully examining your face and body for any wounds. "I'm fine, Kazzle. Will you help me? I… I promised him something."

Brekker glanced at the Darkling's lifeless body. He nodded to you, handing you his cane.

"Take it. And tell us what to do." you took it from him with trembling hands and stood leaning against it. It actually helped. It was easier for you to stand on your own two feet.

"We have to… we have to burn him."

The funeral, if you could call it that, was modest. Alina and Kaz (and later you, when you convinced Brekker that you could pick twigs with his cane) made a funeral pyre, and Alina lit it with her light.

Your power has not returned. You had your suspicions.

You stood at the burning pyre. Alina and you stared blankly at Aleksander, both in their own ways "mourning" his passing. You felt Kaz's burning, worried gaze on you as you stood holding the metal crow's head tightly in your hands.

"Are you sure that…"

"Yes, Kaz. I am okay. You don't have to worry, I'll give your cane back in a minute." he opened his mouth, ready to argue with you, but luckily, you were interrupted.

"What happened there?"Jesper asked you when the crows finally got to the three of you. They stared at the burning pyre in shock.

"I killed him… the Darkling... Aleksander. And I think I accidentally lost my powers because of it. He was an amplifier. Apparently you can only have a few before it takes your powers."

"Should we be concerned that you don't care too much?"

"No. I never wanted to be a saint. I guess it was always my destiny to be a crow." Kaz gave you a worried look. You sighed, nodding your head slightly. He knew you better than anyone else. He knew how the Darkling's death affected you. Even if you led him to it. He walked over to you and grabbed your hand, drawing letters on your skin.

I am with you. Through everything.

I know. Thank you, Kazzle.

"So this is the end?" Jesper's question pulled you both out of your silent conversation.

"Of this journey. There will be another. And another one. And another. And so many others until we all hadn't had our own palaces and tonnes of kruge." you said with a smirk, taking the hat from Kaz and putting it on your head, to the crows laughing and your boyfriend snorting.

"Sounds good to me, moongirl. Wait… we'll have to come up with a new nickname for you. But that's later. So? What's next, boss?"

Kaz glanced at Alina. She nodded at him, giving you a small, tired smile.

"Follow us." Kaz grabbed your hand and led you arm-in-arm. You both held on to his cane.

You smirked, out of the corner of your eye noticing Inej disappearing into the shadows and the rest of the crows following you. You turned your gaze to Kaz. You looked at each other, exchanging knowing smiles.

Ketterdam, your bastards are coming home.

~•♤♤♤•~It's okay to love them both. I did - Katerina Petrova~•♤♤♤•~

"What are you doing, lapushka?"

Even though he came from behind you, you didn't stop packing. You're used to him sneaking up on you when you least expect it. This time, you even felt his presence before he spoke.

"I'm packing my things."

"I can see that. My question is: WHY are you packing into your backpack instead of OUR chest?"

Several hours had passed since "the Baghra incident". The whole camp was packing up. Including you. You weren't going to stay here any longer and pretend everything was fine. Since Aleksander was going to pursue you anyway, you might as well break his heart before you leave. Just like he did with yours...

"You're a very, very clever man. I guess you can figure it out on your own. Like everything else." you replied coolly, never pausing to fold your clothes to give him even the slightest glance.

"Milaya… it was a really crappy few days. If you want to punish me, then…"

"I'm not your mother, Aleksander." you interrupted him coldly, not taking your attention for a moment from the things you were packing. "My job is not to raise, punish, admonish, or pay attention to you. But I don't think that you actually care when Baghra tries to give you some sense, so that would be pointless action from my side anyway."

"Then what is this? Manifestation of your anger and irritation? Should I get on my knees before you and apologise?"

"Well it would be nice, but as honest as saying that Ivan is our army's sunshine, so you can keep this, I believe, very considered apology for yourself."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"Nothing." your indifferent attitude annoyed him enough that he walked across the half of the tent to you in two steps and dumped the entire contents of your backpack onto the bed. "By acting like that, you're just proving me right." you replied, this time not folding anymore but immediately packing the clothes into the bag. Your mood lifted as you saw the annoyed, angry crease on his forehead.

"Right about what?! Leaving me just because…"

"THIS IS THE PROBLEM, ALEKSANDER!" you finally graced him with your gaze, turning towards the speechless man. You rarely screamed. Especially in anger. And almost never on him. "It isn't just a slight, unimportant thing that couples are fighting for. You broke my trust again! You hid the whole truth from me again! You put me in a position where I have no other choice but to leave you, so don't act like a surprised fool! It was you who broke us apart. It's always you. You want to make me the villain in our love story? Fine. Do it. But the truth is that YOU are the one who can't trust me. And yet it is you from our two who can't be trusted." during your furious monologue, you didn't even notice that you were walking up to him the whole time, until you pinned him against the wall of the tent.

You stared at him with resentful eyes, and just as you were about to pull away from him, you felt his hands on your wrist and neck. He changed your positions, moving much closer to you so that your chests were touching with each heavy breath you took in tandem.

"Careful, moonlight. You may know me, maybe even better than I do, but don't forget that I have that power over you too. If you wanted to go away, you would be now on your way to your pathetic friends' group. But you're here, talking to me. You don't want to leave. Why?"

"You know why." you whispered, refusing to admit what you both feel. You won't say the "L" word to him. Aleksander gently rubbed his nose against yours. The moment he was about to catch your lips in a kiss, you broke free from his grip and stood a few feet away from him. "But it doesn't matter what I want. I changed, Aleksander. I'm not going to stay. Not when you clearly don't want me to be your equal partner."

"I DO! Everything I do is for US!" he shouted, closing the distance between you.

"Then let me in! Completely. Not only to what's convenient for you to say to me. Or you will have no one to celebrate your great victory with. Surely not me." you growled, heading towards the exit of the tent, intending to leave him and it all behind you.

"Wait." you were not an obedient dog. He couldn't order you. "Please." the vulnerability in his voice shocked you enough to stop. A few steps from the exit. From ending everything you had ever had in common. "I was going to tell you about… about them… I just wanted to give you a little break before I put you again into my problems." you snorted in amusement, shaking your head in disbelief, when you heard the same fairy tale again. They were all right. He will never change. Not for you. "I was also scared!"

"Scared? Scared of what?" you groaned, turning to face him with folded arms.

"That I'll lose you the moment you realise I'm not as powerful as all of you think." you sighed, rubbing your forehead tiredly. You loved him. You really loved him. Despite everything he's done. But you've had enough of all of it by now.

"It isn't all about power, Aleksander. It never was. What a pity that you haven't realised it yet, after hundreds of years on this earth."

"And what choice did I have? With all those people who have always only wanted me dead? Who wanted other Grishas' deaths? Without power, you cannot do anything. You can't protect anyone by being weaker than your enemies, Y/N." he walked over to you and grabbed your hands, trying desperately to convince you to stay.

"You know what the real power is, Sasha? Family, love, friendship, loyalty—that's power. You can gain their respect, even make them fear you, and have them follow your every order without blinking, but this kingdom you want to create will not last the first century. Not if you continue to think like that. No one will follow the commands of a cruel Tsar who is afraid of losing control over everything and everyone."

"Watch your words. You're forgetting who you're talking to." he returned to this malevolent form of the Darkling. But you weren't a teenage Y/N from Ketterdam anymore. You were Grisha. Saint. Nobody and nothing could stop you.

"No. No, I don't. I'm talking with Aleksander. The man who taught me how to summon my light so I didn't have to train each day with his crazy mother. My Sasha, who stole for me chocolate for the kitchen and read to me Ravkan's fairy tales when my nightmares caught me at night. Not Kirigan or the Black Heretic. And you? Do you know who I'm talking to?" you asked, joining your hands again and forcing him to look into your eyes.

The sudden silence that filled the room after your words overwhelmed you more than your screams.

"Send for me when you know. I'm going to Kribirsk with Fedyor. You can join us when you have finally decided who you are."

You let go of his hands and gave him a disappointed look as you left the tent. You exhaled, shuddering as the chill night air hit your face, which was heated with emotion. Tears of helplessness began to come to your eyes. You couldn't change him. And even though you loved the shadow summoner in a strange way, you knew that being with him was destructive to both you and him. He couldn't be yours, and you didn't want to be his if that meant always being second to his Machiavellian plans.

Even though you and Aleksander had a fight about hiding the truth, you did it too. You weren't going anywhere with Fedyor. You went back to the crows. With a heavy heart, crying and dying inside because of the man you still loved. Feeling guilty that you left him alone and that this conversation will probably be your last until you all meet in the fold. Once he finds out you betrayed him, there's no going back. You will lose him forever.

You just hoped this whole war wouldn't end up as gruesome as in your nightmares.

And that he will be back for you.

~•♤♤♤•~

"You look like death."

Alina said as you made your way through the fold. You snorted, making room for her next to you, not taking your eyes off the shadows circling around you. If all goes your way, in two hours there won't be a trace of the fold... and neither will HE be.

"Thank you, Ali, you look as terrible in this war as I do."

"You know that's not what I mean. You miss him." you stood frozen, causing her to stop as well.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. I don't blame you for that. It's only logical that you feel that way about him. You have history and chemistry. I remembered how all the Little Palace was too scared to get on your nerves or train with you too hard in case Aleksander would get angry at them for "hurting his Y/N".

"This is the past, Alina. We're no longer in the Little Palace." you growled at her, trying to maintain your mask of indifference. You must not care about him.

"I just want to say… that I understand if..."

"There will be no ifs, Alina. It ends here." you cut her off before she could add anything else. You had one job as a moon summoner: to destroy the fold. You had to do it. Even at the cost of burying your own heart in the process.

Alina opened her mouth, probably wanting to continue arguing with you, when suddenly even more shadows surrounded you. Alexander must have been close. Which means that nichevo'ya and volcra too.

"Let's split up. One of us will distract him."

"Why do I feel like it's supposed to be me?! Alina!" you failed to stop the sun summoner. You cursed, summoning your light and scaring away the shadows circling around you.

The more you kept them away from you, the more they attacked you. You knew you had to leave the fold as soon as possible before you lost the last of your strength. You could have had two amplifiers, but you still couldn't match the power of the fold.

You started running in the direction you came from, hoping to run out of here and find Alina.

You didn't get far before one of the volcra grabbed your cloak, knocking you to the ground. You lost your concentration for a moment, and all the light around you went out. Panicked, you only managed to summon a small orb of light, which momentarily blinded the shadow creature.

You tried to get up, but the pain in your left leg wouldn't let you. You cursed as you saw a pool of blood gathering under your leg. You impaled yourself on some roots. A glorious death awaited you.

You closed your eyes, trying to summon as much light as possible to keep the volcras away from you.

Suddenly, instead of the warmth of your power, you felt more and more cold around you. One single tear spilled from your eye as you slowly began to accept your death and imprisonment by the shadows of the fold.

However, for a long time, nothing happened. You opened your eyes uncertainly and watched in a daze as the nichevo'ya chased the volcras away from you, attacking the more aggressive ones.

"It's okay. I've got you, milaya." his soft whisper against your ear gave you more comfort than any shadow or light. And you were ashamed of how much power he had over you.

You felt him gently take you in his arms, cutting off the roots you had impaled yourself with earlier. He secured your wound and wrapped his cloak around your legs. The Nichevo'ya continued to fight the volcra around you, scaring them away from you.

"Why? Why you did it?" you asked with a trembling voice. He had no interest in saving you. Your death would only help carry out his plans. And yet he entered the fold FOR YOU. And saved you from his volcras.

"You know why, zyoma maya olya (moon of my life)."

You didn't ask him anything else. You let yourself sink into his embrace and bury your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling that comforting scent. You almost fell asleep as you rocked gently in his arms with every step he took.

Suddenly, he stopped. You looked around. You were close to the exit. You turned your gaze to him, finding his eyes already staring at you.

"Alina is waiting for you on the other side. I believe some of the crows are there too." he was about to pull you to your feet, but you stopped him by gripping his arm tightly.

"Wait." your mouth said before your brain could process what you wanted to say. He stared at you expectantly, waiting for your next move. "Please, Aleksander. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Please don't make me choose I... I love you. I've loved you since you taught me about the constellation, since the first night you helped me with my Ketterdam's nightmares, since the first time I saw you, using the cut to save me and Alina I... I don't know how, but... I... I can't lose you. Please, Aleksander." you fell apart. Entirely. You released all your suppressed emotions, crying into his kefta, little knowing that he was fighting back his own tears.

"And what do you want me to do, milaya? I've spent ages getting to this point."

"And will you be truly happy? Is it all really worth it, Aleksander? Will you be jubilant when you enlarge the fold?" he sighed, resting his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes, listening to your rapid breathing.

"You can't just come to me, make a puppy-kicked face, say for the first time you love me, and expect me to change my hundred-year-old plans." you nudged his nose with yours, making him open his eyes to face your tearful ones, red from crying.

"Aleksander... please." you saw it. The battle that was going on inside him and the same willingness to give in to his desires and your desires to be together. And you prayed to all the saints to change his mind.

"If I do it, I'm never going to hear the end of it from my mother. You know that?"

"If it's any consolation, I promise I'll be there for you when she mocks us."

"You better do it, my little saint." he murmured, kissing your forehead as he resumed his march towards the exit of the fold.

You couldn't believe your luck. Aleksander chose you. Over his plans. You became the first and most important thing in his life.

If it was just a dream, you never wanted to wake up from it.

Despite the gravity of the situation—getting out of the fold in Aleksander's arms—you couldn't help but snort quietly into his kefta when you saw the shocked and terrified faces of your friends. The Darkling carried the moon summoner out of the fold. The most unlikely thing to see on a Monday morning.

Aleksander approached them slowly. He took his cloak off your legs and spread it on the ground, laying you on the black material. He stood next to you, making sure you were comfortable beforehand, and cleared his throat awkwardly.

You had to see the positives in this situation. At least no one had gone after him with a gun yet.

"Miss Zenik, could you look at her leg, please?" his question snapped the woman out of her stupor. She walked uncertainly over to the two of you and began to heal your wound, giving you an incredulous look.

Aleksander stood next to you, not caring more than usual about the surprised and terrified looks the others were throwing at him. Of course, Baghra spoke first.

"You're more stupid than I thought."

"Which one?" you asked for Aleksander, whom she looked at confusedly. You don't think either of them expected him to just stand by your side like that.

"You for falling so easily for him and him for letting himself be wrapped around your finger."

"Well, it's a very beautiful and powerful finger, mother." the crows' jaws dropped in surprise at this new revelation, and you rolled your eyes at the obvious malice from the now very amused Aleksander.

"I'm guessing you're not going to fight us? Will you help us or are you going to betray us, and is this another of your plans?" Alina stood in front of the group, eyeing him warily.

"I'm here for some reason. Definitely not betraying, Alina."

"Which is?" Kaz stood beside Alina, shooting the shadow summoner a hostile, distrustful look.

"My moonlight, Mr. Brekker." Aleksander reciprocated, giving him one of his darker looks. Yes, you forgot that these two can fight each other. Something will have to be done about this in the future...

"Okay, I'm done! We can move on to our plan before some jealous Western or something like this starts here." luckily, you had Nina to help you stop "the cockfight" for now.

Aleksander and Kaz rushed over to help you up. You grabbed each of them by the hand, and thanks to these two, you got to your feet. The men gave themselves furtive, hostile glances.

"Then let's go. It looks like the three of us are going to change the world together after all, Aleksander." Alina tried to defuse the tension and led you all towards the fold.

Aleksander didn't shy away from kissing you in front of Kaz before grabbing your hand and catching up with Alina, questioning her about the details of your plan.

Yes, you will definitely have to deal with these two later. But for now, the three of you were going to change the world...

"I love you too, my precious moonlight. More than you could ever know." he whispered in your ear moments before you destroyed the fold.

You didn't know what the future held for you, but you were sure of one thing.

Aleksander was supposed to keep you close to him through it all. And he will always be back for you.

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