#and then they took their time getting the next cashier checked in so the conversation went

[minervacampbell]

where’s that post that’s like “I was on the cash register and I called over the walkie talkies that if someone didn’t come relieve me soon I’d turn into the joker” that just happened to me basically

[ms--lobotomy]

So happy you all are liking my Mertarion fics! Here's your food for the day. [Previous] [Next]

Summary: You learn to care for the big funny mermaid in your pool.

Word Count: 1016

Content Warning: Mention of the United States, mentions of eating live fish, infodumping about a topic that i find very interesting,

Image Credit: @squishyowl

The supermarket was crowded this Sunday with a selection of well-dressed denizens of your city. It must be the after-church rush. You felt most underdressed for this trip to the store. The line for the checkout was long, and the man behind you sighed as he checked his phone. The music was blaring loud, and you could hear it through your headphones. The cashier raised an eyebrow at you as she slid the last tray of salmon across the scanner.

"Cookout," you said, taking one of your headphones off of your ear.

The cashier stuck out her lower lip and nodded, sticking the tray in the last of your reusable bags. "Have fun at your cookout," she said. You winced at the total in front of you as you put your card in the card reader. Groceries were expensive already without a giant merman in your pool. It chimed, and you took the card out.

"Have a nice day," said the cashier, and you exited the store and hurried to your car.

...

"You told me you like salmon?" you asked, your lower legs dangling in the cool water. "How do you even get salmon? There's no wild salmon in the state," you said, throwing a cut into the pool.

He took it, putting it in a death roll not unlike an alligator would its prey. His teeth were sharp, his pupils (from what you saw, at least) a straight line on his eye. He splashed saltwater everywhere. You squealed, throwing your forearms in front of your face through the worst of it.

"Mortarion, careful, your stitches..." you muttered before he soon stopped his activity.

"Force of habit..." he said after swallowing his first bite of salmon. He had the fillet in one hand and was grabbing at the deep blue tiles that lined your pool with the other. You noticed him running his fingers along them, and smiled slightly. He took another bite and swallowed. "I would much prefer live fish, but this will do."

You shuddered at the prospect of feeding a live fish to the merman in your pool. Where would you even get one? Typhus spent a lot of time at the beach and you would see him there when you went on your off days, but you weren't going to ask him anytime soon.

Meanwhile, Mortarion pulled himself out of the pool a little bit to look at you. "You do not eat live fish?" he asked, his eyebrows raised and his green eyes widened.

"Oh, absolutely not," you muttered, running a hand along your other forearm.

"Oh," he said, genuinely taken aback. "You are a strange one, for sure."

"It's my entire species, actually..." you trailed off. "Unless, you're kind of weird, I guess? I mean, there's weirdos online who eat raw meat but I doubt they'd eat--"

"None of you eat live fish?" he asks after swallowing another bite of fish.

"No... sorry."

He looked at you incredulously. He moved his hand along the side of the pool, towards your dangling leg. He brushed his finger against its side, and you felt your heart beating in your chest much more palpable than normal. As you inhaled sharply, he retracted his hand, looking away briefly. Blood rushed to your face and you looked towards your plants.

The two of you sat in awkward silence for a moment as he finished his salmon before you caught sight of two orange butterflies in your yard. They flew around each other, tumbling through the air before one of them stopped at the passion vine that adorned the trellis and the other flitted around it.

"Oh!" you shouted, eager to fill the void with light conversation. You pointed at the two little beings by the plant. "Look! Butterflies!"

Mortarion's eyes shot towards your little friends. "That's what they look like," he remarked. "I did not expect their wings to be so... extravagant."

"Oh, I think I forgot to mention that," you said, your face going warm again. "Well, that's a Gulf Fritillary. Some people call it the Passion Butterfly, but my mom always called it the first one. Oh, oh! Can you see the iridescent spots on them? They're a little far..."

He nodded. "They have little black borders around them."

"Oh, you can see those?" you asked, your eyes going wide. "I can only see them when they're really close." You let out a slight chuckle before looking down at him. He was awestruck, to say the least. His eyes were trained on the small bugs. His tail swished in the pool, and the rest of him was as still as a statue.

"I have never seen creatures such as these," he remarked after a little while.

"Well, there's plenty of them to see here, especially this time of year," I said. "You see that plant over there? That's a passion vine, it's a host plant for more than one species of butterfly. The Zebra Longwing actually competes with the Gulf Fritillary for this plant!" The butterflies had been moving along the plant, trailing lower and lower.

Mortarion's eyes were still trained on them. "What's the Zebra Longwing like?" he asked.

"Slightly smaller," you said, shifting slightly at the poolside. Your leg brushed against his hand again. Your eyes widened and you tensed up. He turned around to look at you, and you relaxed. He wasn't here to hurt you.

"Is... is that okay?" he asked, his voice low yet raspy.

You nodded, slowly at first before your movement became more vigorous. "It is," you said, lowering your hand to touch his. His eyes widened before he looked up at you.

"Care to join me in the pool?" he asked. He shut his eyes before opening them, looking around almost in terror.

You looked down at your outfit. Shorts that were neither too long nor too short, and a white tank top with a red design stenciled into it. You got up, and he retracted his hand, still staring at you.

"I would love to," you said. "Just let me get changed real quick."

Taglist: @bispecsual @justeverythingnothingelse @bleedingichorhearts @nekotaetae @historitor-bookshelf

[inferencesarchives]

Hello there!

Could I ask for various cookies x cheating reader?

Where the cookies walk past a restaurant and they saw reader and someone else inside, they were talking and laughing that it looked like a date and that's what the cookies thought. So the next day they confront reader about it asking what they did to deserve that, but in reality it's just reader and an old friend catching up and the cookies won't let reader a second to explain

Not What It Seems

capsaicin, dark choco, madeleine x gn!reader

summary: one of your old friends is in town, and you decide to go to dinner with them and catch up. when the cookies pass by and see you with someone else through the window, they automatically assume the worst.

warnings: hurt/comfort, mentions of cheating (obviously), physical touch, crying (capsaicin), petnames (dear/dearest - madeleine), general anxiety, also maybe ooc idk i wrote this at 4 am

Capsaicin Cookie hummed a tune as he leisurely walked. He had no destination in particular quite yet; Instead, he was window shopping in order to find a nice gift to surprise you with once you git home.

In the window of a small hobby shop, Capsaicin Cookie noticed that they happened to be selling a particular item used in a hobby that you had been getting into recently. Smiling to himself as he checked out the item from the cashier, he figured he hit the jackpot. Though, at the same time, he figured he should get you something else as well to go with it. Thus, he began walking down the streets once again.

Not long after, he noticed a peculiar scene inside one of the restaurants he was passing in the corner of his eye. He looked over, hoping that he saw wrong, that he was mistook it in his vision.

His heart dropped. At a table inside the restaurant, Capsaicin Cookie watched as you sat, enjoying a seemingly pleasant conversation with Prune Juice Cookie. Suddenly, millions of thoughts were going through his head, all of them so fast it was almost hard to keep up with, but to him, one thing was abundantly clear: he had failed you as a partner. Clearly, he hadn't done enough for you, and you had moved on.

He rushed home, unable to watch any longer. He had to figure out what he had done wrong. He had to figure out what he should've done for you. As he sat on the couch, the gift he bought for you laying next to him, a billion possibilities ran through his mind. Had he said something that you took the wrong way? Had he been too clingy? Had he been too distant? Had he not shown enough interest in the things you talked about with him? Had he shown too much interest in those things? Had he-

"Capsaicin Cookie? Hey, what happened? Why are you crying?" Your sweet voice along with your hand finding its way onto his cheek snapped him back to reality. He couldn't speak. It felt like his heart had been torn into a trillion pieces, yet at the same time, he didn't want you to leave.

"Hey, it's alright. I'm here. I've got you. You can tell me anything," you gently whispered as you sat beside him. You pulled him in for a hug, "I love you, you know. With all my heart. You can tell me anything. I won't judge." He held you tightly, as if he was afraid you would disappear if he let go.

"...You and Prune Juice Cookie...Are you two a thing? I saw you together through the window," his voice came out quiet and shaky, almost like he was afraid that if he said the words aloud, they would become truth. "Oh, Capsaicin Cookie...Really, it's not like that at all. We were just catching up with each other since it's been a while since we last spoke to each other. I didn't mean to make you think I like him more than you, and I'm really sorry I forgot to tell you that I was going to hang out with him for a bit. Really, I didn't mean for it to slip my mind, and I didn't mean to make you think that I don't like you anymore, because that's not true at all. I love you. I love you more than anything, Capsaicin Cookie. You mean the world to me," you affirmed your affections for him and nuzzled into his neck.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

It wasn't often that Dark Choco Cookie went out. After all, many other cookies feared him. Today was different, though. Today, Dark Choco Cookie decided that brief stroll would help clear his mind. Therefore, he was out and about today.

He honestly hadn't expected to find anything interesting in the windows of the shops scattered around the little town in which the two of you were staying for a few days. Most of the stored sold the same things. Essentially, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary nor was there anything that caught his eye.

What did catch his eye, though, was a certain scene in the park. Something out of place. Whilst everything else in the park was completely normal, the sight of you sitting and chatting with Red Velvet Cookie on one of the benches made his fists clench.

He quietly walked back to the inn where the two of you had been staying, many a question in his mind. As he sat down on the bed, negative thoughts invaded his brain. He had done everything he could for you. He devoted himself to you. He knew he didn't deserve you, yet he chased after your love and affection endlessly. You gave him hope, and now that hope was shattered into millions of sad little pieces.

He didn't even bother looking at you when you walked in the room, parting his lips and getting straight to the point, "So, you and Red Velvet Cookie, huh? You prefer him over me?" Eyes wide, you attempt to shut down his accusations, "No, it isn't like that! We-" "You don't have to lie to me," he cut you off, "I know I don't deserve you." Teary-eyed, you desperately try to get him to understand, "I promise it isn't like that, please listen to me!"

He looked up at you for the first time since you entered. He said nothing. "I swear to you, it isn't like that. We were just catching up, I promise. We just hadn't seen each other for a while and I figured it would be polite if I said hello. I didn't realise that you would think it was like that, I swear it isn't! I love you more than anyone else in the world, I promise! I would never even think of loving anyone else," you pleaded with him, praying that he would realise that you truly wouldn't do something like that to him.

He sighed, "...I suppose you're right. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions. Just, please, promise me that you'll tell me whenever you're going to hang around a friend in the future. I just...get scared that you'll leave me sometimes, so if you told me about your outings beforehand, it would help." Gently, you placed your hand on his, and said, "Of course I'll tell you. I'm sorry I made you think that I was going to leave you. I promise I'll stay by your side until the very end."

"...Thank you."

Seeing Madeleine Cookie out walking the streets wasn't a surprise to most other cookies. Most days out of the week, the paladin would leisurely peruse the many shops throughout the city. Oftentimes, he would be out buying little things that reminded him of you, and today was no different.

He wanted to get you something nice after he finished his work for the day so that he could surprise you when he got home, as he often did. Unfortunately, however, the shops didn't have very many things that he thought you might like today. Eventually, he walked out of yet another shop empty-handed, frustrated that the place didn't have anything that you'd find interesting. As he was about to suck it up and head home, a scene in the window of the restaurant across the street made him feel even worse.

There, at a table in the corner, you sat, in a seemingly in-depth discussion with Espresso Cookie. Immediately, questions started forming in his mind. Was he seeing this right? You, the cookie who was practically an angel sent down from the heavens to bless him with warmth and love, were quite possibly going out on a date with Espresso Cookie? No, no, no, that can't be right. Surely you were just having a friendly chat, right? Surely you weren't cheating on him? You wouldn't do that...would you?

Madeleine Cookie had to know what was going on. He simply wouldn't allow any possible negative thoughts to linger in his mind any longer. With newfound resolve, he pushed open the door to the restaurant and swiftly walked over to your table.

"...And that's how you- Oh, wow, would you look at that. Mr. Light-For-Brains is here. Hello Madeleine Cookie," Espresso Cookie greeted as you turned around to face your beloved idiot. "Madeleine Cookie!" you excitedly jump up to hug him, a big grin adorning your face. He wrapped his arms around you in return. "Hello, dearest. Am I...interrupting something? A...date, perhaps?" Madeleine asked, quickly getting to the point.

"A date? With him? Pfft, no, no, not at all. We were just catching up. It's been a while since Espresso Cookie and I have seen each other, after all. Don't worry, it's not a date, I promise. Here, sit with us! Oh, and order yourself some food, too!" you explained. "Ah, I see! Thank you for affirming your feelings towards me!" He smiled at you as you giggled, "I love you, you adorable idiot." "I love you too, dear," he said as he kissed your forehead.

"Ugh, get a room, lovebirds..."

"Hey!"

"How rude, Espresso Cookie!"

a/n: my god this request is OLDDDDD to the person who requested im SO sorry for keeping you waiting for so long i just could never think of any good ideas for this fic for the longest time but now it's finally here yay again im so sorry :,) since u didn't specify who u wanted i decided on a cast that would have more diverse reactions so that each part wouldn't seem like the same think over and over again, also i added comfort in at the end of each part because if i write hurt/no comfort i and many others WILL CRY so,,, yea and like i said in a bunch of my recent previous works, im trying to clear out my requests so yea,,, also i haven't been able to sleep a wink at all tonight unfortunately so ive been grinding fics instead lol, im abt to go to bed tho dw yall (it's 5 am help)

thanks for stopping by!

wanna submit a request? see my requesting rules here.

taglist:

wanna be tagged? let me know!

[littlespacereader]

A Little’s Trip to the Jellycat Diner in NYC!!😆💞🎀

I’m a huge fan of Jellycat stuffed animals! I think they are so cute and especially so soft!! So when I heard they opened a cute experience in FAO Schwarz in NYC I knew I had to go see it for myself!

Before going I have three Jellycats of my own! I have a Manatee, a Sheep and a Kola!

Every time I go to FAO Schwarz I always end up getting a Jellycat since they have a MASSIVE selection. This time they really did not disappoint!

For starters there’s the Jellycat Diner on the first floor of the story! This is where they sell their food stuffed animals! If you ordered a special pack (which included stickers, a pin and a wrapped food such as a hotdog, burger, taco or pizza) they would wrap it like the actual food and give it to you at the diner counter, complete with them hitting a bell and saying you “order number”. It’s such a cute idea!! Below are photos of the food stuffies on the sides of the diner:

Next to the diner was a smaller display of some of their Christmas collection stuffies:

Upstairs they have more of their stuffed animals which are my favorite and go to Jellycats when I come to here! I sadly forgot to take photos of this section but I can describe it to you! This is where all the animal Jellycats hang out! They had a ton of see animals such as whales, shrimps, sea lions, and octopuses. They also had some fall Jellycats such as a pine cone, a fox, and a porcupine. On the back wall they had a mixture of different ones such as dragons, chickens, lions, horses, dogs, cats and more!

I’m the type of Little that has to see EVERYTHING before making a proper decision. So I search that section about 5 times for the perfect Jellycat… and I think I found the best one! I found this elephant section and instantly fell in love with how soft and cuddly the elephant design was! I’m always the type of person who grabs one from the back who isn’t appreciated like the ones in the front, and that’s when I met Wally!

Wally was on the back of the shelf with his head buried. I immediately worried that maybe he had anxiety about how loud store was. So naturally he won my heart over. I immediately grabbed him and brought him close. Maybe we could help each other through our anxieties. So Wally came home with me. He is very happy and has been properly introduced to all my stuffed animals! Here’s Wally back home in my dorm:

Right before I went to check out I noticed this tiny little rattle Jellycat dog. Immediately my little side was screaming at me to get it. It’s such a small size that I reasoned with myself I could take along with me when I travel.

It’s always scary buying something so obviously for a baby. But I do have some advice! For one I took this trip alone to avoid any questions from friend. But when I got to the register with Wally and the rattle I was asked who I was getting it for. The cashier was super nice and was probably just striking up a conversation. So I simply said it a gift for my cousin. Is it? No. This is a gift to myself. But they don’t need to know that! Just make up that you have a younger cousin you’re buying something little or younger for. Trust me it works every time!

But back to the topic of my rattle, I LOVE IT!! The bell is not overwhelmingly and the rattle is super soft! It’s definitely coming with me every time I travel! I named him Spot the Rattle!

I had a great time today!! I’d like to thank everyone again in this post. Your advice really helped me with dealing with the subways today! Thank you again! I hope everyone liked this review of the Jellycat Diner in FAO Schwarz. Comment any questions you have about the store! I’d be happy to answer them!

-Clara🥰💞🎀

[xinnabon]

FIRST DATE W/ ...

# 5WIRL xiao , heizou , venti , kazuha , and aether x gn!reader

cw !! swearing, mentions of kicking a vending machine

please do consider checking out my blog account! i am also taking in requests and it will be gladly appreciated from you to read my pinned post & request in! i'd love to see what you're up for.

a/n: it's just how you and them go out to a date with the location indicated and do all the things you'll ever do together. i think i've been spending about this for at least almost 3 hours now. i'm still not that original with themes or putting up aesthetics in my writing. there's a "don't judge a book by it's cover" for a reason. also, i used some sort of fake text app too because the text wouldn't go as planned in mobile form or so lol.

+XIAO

#1. ever since you asked him on a date, he probably didn't know it was a date in the first place and thought, it was just a friendly meet up.

#2. when he noticed that it was a date, he knew he fucked up. thought you just dressed up pretty well just not to disappoint but really it was all for a date? with his changed clothes from IDOL PRACTICE UNIT 5WIRL, definitely didn't try to impress.

#3. no. it's fine. at least it isn't some fancy place at the 13th floor of a really high and not to mention expensive building owned by some rich businessman or whatever. a normal convenience store. buy a few snacks and ice creams or honestly, whatever.

#4. he loved liked you taking him on a date without him knowing that it really was. you sneaked in a few lies to get him convinced to go with you but i'd say, it was pretty fun half awkward for a bit around just you two together.

#5. after a whole unexpecting date with the two of you, he didn't manage to pay the bill since you insisted yourself to do so, he just got you a cab and payed and bid goodbye.

"i uh... had fun today. i'll be making it up to you next time."

"so. there's a next time?"

"well... if you want."

next time he took you out to a date, he really did outdone himself.

+HEIZOU

#1. definitely those people who asks a lot of questions. hopefully he doesn't ask questions that take to a personal level.

#2. i think you two will hit up at the mall and go on a shopping spree. he pays for what you want, you pay for what he wants. fair enough to the both of you.

#2.0. i can imagine heizou trying out very fashionable clothing on with a few flashes as he appear in each sort of clothing he picked out.

#3. after a few running around in the malls, you two settle down at a table with your nice starbucks beverages. talking about interests, theories from heizou he thinks of that can't seem to get off his head, anything. as long as you two are well-entertained and relaxed with each other.

#4. so, about the starbucks beverages... he told you that something was going on around one of the shops, saying that you should do a favor for him and check it out. when you went out, he hurriedly asked the cashier to put a small note in the cups. at least some sort of small motivation quotes or hints that he's starting to take interest upon you.

#5. when you noticed while drinking your drink, you definitely couldn't stop smiling. he noticed but pretended he didn't know what you were talking about. it was cute.

"the note, heizou! the fucking note! i'm sure you asked to add a note while i was away!"

"oh? i don't think i added that there!"

+VENTI

#1. you guys go out in one of the arcade games in some place. pretty much keeps the conversation running and take on every single game there was in the place.

#2. you two might go to one of those dancing machines. he might be singing out to some of the songs. he definitely pushes you on to the machine just to dance together. take it as that one scene in the karate kid. HA.

#3. so many stuffed toys and other prizes he got from a single claw machine. how does he do it?

#4. you guys definitely buy so much in the prizes using your tickets. nah. you have too many stuffed toys. why not nerf guns for a change? yet a chaotic answer.

#5. after all that chaos you two have been. popping up a few candy bars, energy drinks, so many unhealthy food to cool down. totally wasn't trying to kick the machine vending machine or punching through the glass or putting your arm inside the machine and eventually got caught by guards and took a run for it. it was a fun day. and relaxed with your stuff in "peace".

+KAZUHA

#1. you two took at least a picnic out in a high hill with some pastries, fruits, other kinds of food you crave for.

#2. looking up to the sky, holding hand to hand, pointing which is which. it was going well so far.

#3. a few animals was around and couldn't help but just let them join in and take at least few of the food. why not, right? having them around was pretty cute how they seem to like kazuha.

#4. remember when i said it was going well so far? light rain eventually dropped by and decided to go back to kazuha's place since it's the nearest..

#5. you two were almost there but it's already been pouring real hard. you two held hands and just ran as fast as you two could, soaking wet. you and kazuha reached home and decided to take a warm shower and kazuha lend you one of his clothing for the mean time to stick around. food that you still had back there was sorta soggy. cooked up at least some yakisoba or however kind of meal you prefer, listening to music with each other as the rain continues to pour.

+AETHER

#1. most of the time, he liked listening to your voice. he liked listening to you as you talk. he tries to make an effort to take part in the discussion.

#2. the more you start to talk about him right in front of him, showering so many comments, he couldn't stop smiling. is that what you really think of him? are you joking with him? he honestly can't tell if you're saying all of that just to make him mad, or flustered. mixture of both perhaps?

#3. i think you two might as well order lots of desserts and beverages. he expects that you two together will be up for hours until the cafe is closed around 10PM.

#4. you sneak in a few pictures when he couldn't see you. some were photos of him eating or drinking on what he ordered, talking to a waitress to pick up a few orders, looking at something just so lost of track. you eventually catch his attention when you're done taking in some.

#5. the cute date was really nice. you thought about posting one of the pictures on how your first date go with aether in one of your social medias, but... you can't simply just post in photos without his permission, right? decided to tease him a bit.

huh. must be pretty stunned that you managed to take those pictures. without him noticing too. he didn't reply for the whole night. you sure did want to know. oh well.

[haddonfieldwhore]

cruel summer- bo sinclair (au)

dilf! bo sinclair x (younger) reader part 2

part one is here

warnings: age gap (40 & 25), language, nsfw themes/implied, daddy issues/family drama, trespassing, insp. by @visceravalentines dilf!bo

word count: 2.1k

summer was definitely a busy time of year for you, especially working at a construction company. it was long, tiring days, even just for the retail side of things, nevermind the crews themselves. one benefit of it being summer however, was it meant your parents took more time off work to go camping, leaving you alone in the house for days, sometimes even a week at a time. it was wednesday today, and they would be leaving on friday and not coming home until the next friday, meaning you would have a whole seven days of independence. and a whole seven days that you could spend with bo without having to make excuses to your parents about where you were or who you were with.

“so your parents are gone for a week, are you throwing a party or anything?” sophie, one of your coworkers asked, and you laughed.

“do you forget who you’re talking to? i don’t even know enough people to throw a party, nevermind if i would actually want any of them in my house,” you giggled. “and besides, i still work everyday, even if my parents took the week off.”

“ugh, you’re such a goody two shoes. i bet you’ve never thrown a party. have you ever even snuck out of your house?” rachel, another cashier asked.

“for your information, i have snuck out before, thank you very much.”

“okay okay,” she raised her hands in mock defeat, and you laughed along with her as you noticed bo approaching from the warehouse door behind her. as no one else had seen him, he gestured with his head for you to follow him upstairs.

“i’m just gonna go grab something from my locker, i’ll be right back.” the two of them nodded, oblivious to the real reason you were sneaking off as you tried to inconspicuously follow after bo. reaching the top of the stairs, you peered down the hall to see that the door to your bosses office was thankfully closed, meaning there was no one who could see you where you stood. you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and tug you into the break room, shutting the door behind you. you went to yelp in surprise when a hand clamped over your mouth, and bo pinned you to the door with his body.

“careful, goody two shoes,” he mumbled softly next to your ear. “wouldn’t want us to get into trouble.” you moaned softly against his hand as his pelvis pressed against yours, and he dropped his hand to kiss your lips softly. it was as innocent a kiss as a man like him could muster, but it still sent a storm of butterflies through you.

“you heard that?” you asked, unaware that he has been nearby to overhear your conversation.

“bits and pieces. imagine what they would think of their innocent friend if they knew what you’re like in the bedroom-“ he said, his voice low , and you slapped his chest playfully.

“bo!” you whisper yelled, your eyes wide in embarrassment. he kissed you again before backing up, putting enough distance between you that if someone walked in, they would think nothing of it. “shouldn’t you be on a job site right now?” you asked, checking the time on your phone.

“i’m heading back out in a few minutes. just wanted to stop in and see you.”

“aww, you sure that’s the only reason?” you teased.

“alright alright i had to grab some papers and tools for the job. seein you is just a bonus,” he smiled, and you felt warmth rise to your cheeks. “i’ll call you later?” he offered, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. you nodded, and he kissed the top of your head as he walked past you and opened the door, leaving you alone in the break room. you grabbed some gum from your locker, waiting a minute before leaving the room as well so it didn’t look suspicious.

reaching your desk downstairs again, you smiled as your friends welcomed you back, and you checked the time again; only 4 hours to go in your shift.

•

you had arrived him from work only a few minutes ago, when your phone began to ring in your back pocket, and you looked at it to see “B” flash across the screen. you smiled, and ran up the stairs to answer it away from your parents.

“hey,” you answered, flopping onto the bed.

“hey, baby,” bo replied, his southern accent dripping from each word. “you just get home?”

“yeah, how about you?”

“yeah just a minute ago. so you feel like sneaking out tonight?” he asked, and your smile widened.

“i’m starting to think you might be a bad influence on me, sir,” you teased, and you heard him groan through the phone.

“i’m starting ta think you’re tryna kill me, sweetheart. giving me ideas with all your nicknames,” he warned.

“alright so what time are you picking me up then?” you asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice as he replied.

“i’ll be down the street from your place at 10:30, sound good?”

“yes sir.” you smiled, knowing you were pushing all of his buttons.

“lord, you are in for it when i get my hands on you.”

“i’m counting on it,” you smiled, and he laughed as he hung up the phone. you smiled, knowing your parents would be asleep by 10 and you had plenty of time to relax before getting ready.

•

it was 10:25 as you wrote out a note to leave on your pillow, in case one of your parents happened to come into your room before you got back.

if you see this, text me <3

you slid open your window and hopped down, feeling your phone buzz in your pocket. you checked it to see a message from bo reading simply “i’m here”. you creeped through the gate to the front yard and walked down the street to where his pickup truck was parked, and hopped in passenger seat.

“hey,” you smiled, leaning over to kiss his lips softly. his large hand grabbed the back of your head, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue into your mouth. you hummed as he bit your bottom lip before releasing his grip on you and pulled back.

“hey to you to,” he smirked, and started driving down the road. you had no idea where he was taking you, and it made your heart beat faster in excitement. his hand rested on your thigh as his other hand gripped the steering wheel, and you admired the way the streetlights lit up his eyes, hidden partially by the brim of his baseball cap. you drive in silence for a few minutes before you spoke.

“so i have exciting news.”

“oh yeah?” he looked over at you, smiling slightly. “what might that be?”

“my parents are camping all next week.”

“yeah, i thought i overheard your dad mention something about not being at work next week. you gonna be okay in that big fancy house all by yourself?” he teased, and you sighed dramatically, playing along.

“i don’t know- if only there were some strong, handsome man that i knew who i could stay with while they’re gone,” you pouted, and he laughed.

“a week with you in my bed? what did i do to deserve that?” he joked, and you leaned over to kiss him softly. “course you can stay with me, ya ain’t gotta ask, baby. but i might get used to having you around and decide to keep you all to myself.”

“hmmm sounds tempting, but i think that might cause a problem if my dad ever tracked us down. where are we headed by the way?” you asked, looking at the road ahead.

“relax, we’re almost there.” only a few minutes later, you pulled into the parking lot of the local pool, and bo parked the truck.

“you didn’t tell me we were going swimming. i would’ve brought a bathing suit,” you protested.

“that’s exactly why i didn’t tell ya.” he smirked deviously, and you followed him out of the vehicle to the locked fence. without a word he picked the lock and opened the gate.

“where did you learn to do that?” you asked.

“why, ya want me to teach you?” he offered, closing the gate behind himself as he stepped onto the pool deck with you. he walked over to the small building next to the pool, looking for a light switch, and eventually found it as the lights flicked on, illuminating the blue water. “come here,” he called to you, as he kicked his boots off and reached for your hips as you stopped in front of him. your fingers went to his belt buckle, hands quickly undoing it as he slid your sweater off and began undoing your shorts. once you were both left in just your underwear, his arms wrapped around your waist, and you shrieked as he lifted you up and threw you over his shoulder.

“bo, i swear to god if you- ah!” you yelled as he indeed threw you into the pool, the water surprisingly warm as you sank beneath it. you re-emerged from underwater and wiped the water from your eyes, staring at him in playful disbelief.

he hopped into the water next to you with a splash, and you swam over to him, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pulled you close. his lips found yours in a heated kiss, water dripping from your skin onto his bare chest and your hands wetting his dark hair as they ran through it.

“i never get to see you without a hat,” you noted.

“touch my hair like that and you can see me without one whenever you want, baby,” he groaned, capturing your lips again and you tugged his hair. his fingertips dug into your hips as he held you up, the water rippling around your bodies as you ground yourself against him.

•

thursday came and went, meaning today was friday and your parents were leaving. they would be gone by the time you got home from work, and bo had agreed to follow you home so you could drop off your car and grab your stuff before he brought you to his place for the weekend. you had decided that you should come home to check your house on sunday, and then you could grab new clothes and stuff before heading back to bo’s.

bo followed you into your empty house, leaving his boots at the door.

“i just have to grab my bag from upstairs and then we can go,” you explained, starting up the staircase before. his hand grabbed yours and paused.

“what, i don’t get to see your bedroom?” he asked, and you pulled him behind you as he smirked. he followed you to your bedroom, sitting down on your bed as you changed out of your work clothes and packed last minute items like your phone charger. before you could finish getting dressed, his hands latched onto your hips and pulled you into his lap, and you shivered as you straddled him, your hands on either side of his neck.

“your room is cute. i like the teddy bears.”

“don’t tease,” you kissed his lips softly, his hands feeling the smooth skin of your back that remained uncovered, as you hadn’t found a new shirt yet.

“alright alright. i’ll be nice.”

“at least save the teasing for when we get in your bedroom, okay?” you whispered, kissing his cheek before standing up and getting fully dressed. he shook his head and smiled, slinging the strap of your overnight bag over his shoulder as he gestured for you to lead the way, slapping your ass when you got in front of him.

“hey!” you laughed as he followed behind you, smiling at you as you walked out to the truck together. he threw your stuff in the backseat and got in, starting the engine and peeling out of the driveway. you clung onto him just as you had the first time he drove you home, which felt like just yesterday but in reality was already a few weeks ago. time was flying but you had never been happier, and bo smiled at you as you held onto his arm, wondering what he did to get so damn lucky.

“i hope you didn’t pack pyjamas, because you ain’t gonna be sleeping,” he teased, and you felt the butterflies in your stomach again.

“we’ll see if you can keep up, old man.”

[heavenisblue]

Do you guys ever feel extremely alone? That's a stupid question, everybody feels like that at one point in their life. Today I feel so alone and I truly am. I have friends but I don't have friends. I can't tell them when I feel down because it's all jokes and it can't be anything but jokes. I'm tired for longing for something so simple as a friend. I think my longing for a friend keeps on getting mixed up with my longing to be truly loved.

Sometimes I make up stories in my mind about the way I imagined being loved. I imagine us getting to know each other in a library, we'd be quietly studying or reading next to each other for as long as it takes either of us to muster the courage to talk to each other. We always meet each other at the same time, same spot, and leave at the same time. I'd like to imagine that he waits until I get picked up so that he could leave. I'd always look at the side mirrors of the car until his figure disappears from my vision because he'll always be there in my mind. After some time, I finally manage to ask him what he's studying for. I feel bad because what if I'm distracting him but all possible bad thoughts melt away when he looks up from his notes and shows me the sweet smile. The way his nose scrunches which causes his glasses to move up in the slightest movement and his dimples. God his dimples. We start a short conversation about the subject he's studying for when he asks me if I would like to take a break with him and get something to eat at the nearby convenience store. I say yes immediately and maybe faster than I would have liked to but it doesn't matter to him or me really. We rather our things and we walk to the convenience store. It's only a 3 minute walk but it feels like 3 seconds we talked about school and what classes we're taking and how hard some of them are. I find out he's one year older than me so he offers help in the classes he took last year. When we arrive at the convenience store we sat our things down at the little two seat dinning area. There was only us, the cashier, and some man buying cigarettes and lottery tickets. He picked out an unsweetened iced tea and a chicken wrap. I picked out the sweetened ice tea, a chicken wrap, and a chocolate bar. We each paid and sat down. Our conversation continues with school related things like what clubs we're in and what our plans for after school are. He speaks so passionately about his future it leaves me in awe because I couldn't sound that passionately about anything I wanted to even if I tried. The conversation soon starts to fade into our interests and life outside of school which I don't really have much of. He likes to bike, play with his dog, watch sitcoms, and he also mentioned he recently started to workout and hopes that it becomes a routine for him. It's amazing how memorized I am by the sound of his voice. I open my chocolate bar and offer him some but he declines. I tell him how I have a pretty big sweet tooth and love sweets and he just smiles and nods at me. He goes and throws away our trash, I check the time while he's gone and notice my sisters on her way to pick me up soon so I should get going. When he returns we start to pick up our things and head back to the library. On the walk there I ask him what type of music he enjoys and he says that he doesn't listen to much. He just listens to whatever is around him. This stumps me a bit because I always listen to music and at this point it's apart of my whole existence. I ask for his number or social anything that he's comfortable with giving me and we swap numbers and Instagrams. He shares he's not that active on Instagram so that's why he also gave me his number. I find that nice considering I'm constantly on my Instagram posting meaningless stories about me going insane. I see my sister's car arriving so we bid our goodbyes to each other. He gives me that same gorgeous smile.

When I get home I get a text message from who I assume is him.

Sorry for interrupting any studying that you had planned tonight, can't promise I won't do it again though. Sorry if that was straightforward I had a really good time tonight lol. Sleep well and I'll hopefully see you again tomorrow.

My heart was racing I knew I had to respond but how.

Me: I had a good time as well, goodnight. See you tomorrow lol.

My apologies for this monstrosity 💀 as you can tell writing isn't for me 🙏🏻 no pues que "book blog". Its 4:36 am rn and I can't promise this will be the last time I write about something like this 🤯 I didn't mean to write a whole ass fanfiction. This is my first fanfiction and my last one as well!!

Sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes because I can't proof read this or I'll get too embarrassed and delete it.

This is the song I was listening to while writing this post.

[purifycantyouhelpme]

November Rain | Izzy Stradlin x Fem! Reader

AO3 Link<3

Word count: 1135

A/N: I'm finally done with this fanfiction. I can finally post the first chapter of the Duff Mckagan x reader story.

Summary: You and Izzy decided to walk together in the rain. This takes place in the early 90s. This is all in Izzy's point of view.

November 13th, 1993, 7:00 PM

It was night time, I was wearing a white, large sized jacket with a hoodie since I was pretty windy outside and I was wearing a gray backpack. I was at the liquor store, buying some snacks for when I get home. I would shop at that store that (Y/N) works at but it was about to close.

I gave the cashier about five bucks.

"Have a good day!" The cashier said.

"You too." I said back to cashier.

I walked out of the store with the bag of my snacks in my right hand. Suddenly, I felt it sprinkling on my shoulder. That's odd. Right I was about to look up, it started to rain. Thank god, I was still standing under the roof of the liquor store. It was raining pretty hard. The wind was blowing pretty hard to the point where the leaves were coming off the trees.

Thank God, I saw the weather on the weather channel and brought an umbrella just in case. The umbrella was in my backpack. I took my backpack off, open it and grabbed my black umbrella. I took it out, opened it and put it over my head.

I looked to my right and I saw (Y/N) walking from a block away. She was still wearing her work clothes. I'm guessing she didn't get any extra clothes. Is she coming this way?

_________

She was walking while talking to someone. She and her friend stopped in front of the liquor store. I was staring at her. Does she know I'm there? "I'll see you tomorrow, Rebecca." (Y/N) waved at her coworker who was walking to her home. (Y/N) was just standing there all by herself.

"Hey (Y/N)." I said to her. I walked up to her, away from the rooftop. I was standing next to her with the umbrella still over my head. "H-Hi Izzy." She said. Her arms were crossed because it was cold. I checked her out, just to see that she doesn't have an umbrella or a jacket on. "Where's your jacket?" I asked her as I pointed at her.

"I forgot my jacket and umbrella at home." She told me. Well, that was obvious. "I didn't know it was going to rain later." She place her hand on her cheek and started going up and down. She felt pretty embarrassed. "You can stand under my umbrella." I said. She walked to me so that she can stand under my umbrella. She was next to me, under my umbrella. "Where is your house?" I asked her.

"It's a couple of blocks away." She said. "Just keep on walking straight." She added on. "Okay." I looked away from her and I look straight ahead.

We both started walking straight. She was on the side of me, walking with me. We were walking for a minute or two and it was getting tired of hearing the wind blowing in the distance, the t leaves in the trees rustling, and the rain pouring. Maybe I should make conversation with her. "So how was your shift?" I asked her.

"It was awful as usual." She said in an angry tone. "I had to deal with a lot of angry customers--" Before she was about to finish her sentence, she jumped into a big puddle. I stopped walking as soon the water hit me. I looked down to see that the water did indeed get me. The water splashed all over my pants and shoes and it also splashed on (Y/N)'s clothes but she didn't mind. "Now my pants and shoes are wet. Thanks (Y/N)." I groaned. She laughed a little. We started to walk again. "Like I was saying, I had to deal with alot of angry customers. There was this girl that kept on yelling at me because I told her that her card declined." She was looking at me. I looked at her back.

"Then she told me that she could get the turkey for free because it's Thanksgiving month." She was getting angrier. "Then she demanded me to speak to the manager, it was very aggravating." She facepalm in anger. "I know, people suck." I agreed with her. People are assholes sometimes.

I reached in my bag and I grab a Snickers bars. I put the candy bar in her face and said, "Do you want a snack?" She looked at me confused.

"I'm not in the mood for candy." She declined. I'm kinda glad that she said no because I wanted the Snickers bar. I opened the Snickers bar and took a bite out of it. It was delicious.

I took a small bag of Tortilla chips out of the bag and tried to hand it to (Y/N). She turned her head a little to looked at the bag. "How about some chips?" I asked with my mouth still feel of Snickers. "Ok." She grab the chips out of my hand and open the bag. She was eating the chips but she was eating the chips with her mouth open. I later swallowed the food. "You chew so loud." I pointed out. I could barely hear myself talk, that's how loud she was chewing. "Sorry, I haven't ate anything all day." She said, she continue to eat the chips with her mouth open. There was crumbs all over her work clothes.

________

Minutes later, we were still walking. A few seconds, (Y/N) stopped in front of a white house with a grey roof. She stopped walking so I figured I stopped too. I look at the house a little more. It was an apartment complex house with one grey door. It was pretty big apartment. It had a porch light, a welcome mat, and a garden in the front yard.

"So, I guess this is where you live." I said as I stopped looking at the apartment. "Thanks for walking me here, Izzy. I appreciate it." She thanked me. She looked at me and smiled

"No problem." I smiled back slightly.

She kissed me on the cheek. I started to blush a little. I put my hand on my cheek where she kissed me at and rub it a little.

"Bye Izzy." She walked up the little steps to her door. Going through her purse, she found her house keys and unlocked the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." I smiled at me. She has such a pretty smile.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." I waved at her with my left hand. She went inside her house and shut the door. Now, it's time to walk back home.

[pbandjesse]

I had kind of a hard day emotionally. I did not sleep well and that did not help at all. It left me feeling really bad. Physically and emotionally. I canceled with Celia. And completely changed my plans.

James had already left by the time I got up. I was so tired but I didn't think going back to sleep would make me feel any better. I got up and washed my face and got dressed. I felt okay. The overwhelmed dread I was feeling when I woke up lessened. I would spend the morning putting things away. I cannot wait until the rest of our shelves are here and I can put so much of our stuff away. It's been really tough living with things everywhere but it gets better every time we get a new piece of furniture.

I would clean the kitty litter and vacuum the frog tank. Omelet still seems a little freaked out from the move but I have seen him basically everyday so I'm not to worried about him. Though I noticed that the water was a little cool, so I turned up the temp and hopefully he is more comfortable.

I laid on the couch for a bit. I had breakfast. I decided I would go to the thrift store and then to Taco bell. I had wanted to go to home Depot but I lost motivation for that.

I had a nice drive though. I went through the tunnel to get to Glen Burnie. It was a the different side which I have not gone through in forever. I am not positive that it reads my ezpass. But it was still a nice drive.

I was surprised by how busy it was. As I was going in an older woman was coming out in an incredible ketchup/Heinz knot sweater and I told her how amazing it was and she was so nice.

And I had a good time looking inside. I would find two things I may be able to use for Uganda. And some linen pajamas. I found a framed little sea shell thing. And another wall candle holder. I had a lot of fun just looking at things but I was frustrated by how many things had proved from other thrift stores or yard sales and it was so much cheaper then they were selling them for. Like if you're going to price it higher take the other price off?? Ridiculous.

I had a good coupon though and still had a good haul.

I went to Taco Bell next. And it was so expensive? I was shocked. But it was still really good. And the cashier was also named Jesse and we had a really nice conversation about having the same name and being misgendered because of it. It was honestly just really sweet.

I ate my crunch wrap in the car. And listened to my podcast. And it was a really beautiful day. I was feeling better. My spirits were slightly better.

I decided I would head towards the museum. Go to five below and the dollar store. And then go stop and see James.

And that's just what I did. I would have a lot of fun in five below. I got three blind bags. And some candy. I would sit outside on a bench and open my blind bags and I loved my calico critter the best.

I walked to dollar tree next and got floss and a some hooks for the wall. And then headed back to the car.

Where someone was parked long ways across 3 spots? Bizarre.

I drove over to the museum and James was really surprised to see me. It was a nice surprise. I was also helpful because I could give them a few minutes to warm up their lunch and get some water. I would check in some guests and only panicked a little when I could not find the stickers. Panic panic. James's desk is always so messy but I was eventually able to find them and it was all good.

I hung out for a few more minutes. But I was tired. And so I went home.

When I got back here I brought all my treasures inside. I tried on all my purchases and was very happy with how they look. I took all the stickers off things and put things in their spots. Or temporary spots.

I spent some time hanging the hooks for I have a spot to put my embroidery hoops. And I really like how it looks. Once the other shelf gets here and I can put more things away I want to hang my looms as well.

I would get cuddled up on the couch until James got home. I was tired but didn't really want to sleep. I just watched tiktoks. And was so happy to see them when they got back.

We would hang out in the couch for a while. But eventually they would leave to go to the apartment to get the last of our stuff. The big furniture is still over there. But all of our things are here now.

While they were gone I had a really bad coughing fit and felt terrible. I tried taking a shower but I couldn't wait for the water to warm up and it was deeply unpleasant. I got changed and tired to calm down but I was wheezing really bad.

When James got back I was in the middle of starting to lay out how we were going to hang the big mirror on the wall. And I would help bring things in from the car but I was struggling to breathe and was not feeling good.

Once everything was inside James would get me some allergy meds and the inhaler and it take a little while but it does help. Like my nose is still running but I'm not choking anymore. I am still uncomfortable and I feel sad. But I will be okay.

James made me dumplings for dinner. And they had pasta and burned their mouth. But after dinner we worked together to hang up the very heavy mirror. I got clips that are for 75lbs. But I am nervous because we hung it behind the door. And I think we may have to move it in the end. But it was fun working on that together.

Once we got the mirror on I put hardware on the mirror's frame so we could hang it on top of the mirror and I think it's a very clever way to deal with the problem.

James went upstairs to paint their nails. And I came up here to do my face lotions and laid down. And that is what I'm doing now. I really hope I can sleep better tonight. I want to be in a good mood tomorrow.

Because we are going to visit my parents. I'm really looking forward to seeing them. We are going to borrow their washing machine to wash our towels. But that's just a plus.

I hope it's a fun day. Maybe we can go out to lunch. And my brother might come by. I am really looking forward to it.

I love you all. Sleep good tonight. Until next time!

[firespirited]

Well folks, I went into a shop!!!

A small Lidl. I wasn't sure if i'd actually make it in... it's a trek up the main road that's draining because the cars seem to send vibrations right through you and shops are visually loud, people filled, places. But sis was eager to visit and something unexpected happened on the way there, we were followed by a gaggle of nice 12 year olds who we let pass in front, a boy disappeared into the hedgerow and I recognised the pathway as the super steep one with a half yard jump involved: absolutely impossible in my condition but the girls kept going ahead and I said to sis, 'keep an eye on them, we need to see where they vanish', but there was a corner and when we came around, they were gone. So I checked the hedges and there it was, a tiny passageway home that cuts out the main road. This meant that the walk back would be just a third of the effort. (view from the bottom of the zigzag shortcut behind the local housing estate)

That buoyed me enough to dare the shop. Sis put Talia the chihuahua in the handbag she'd brought for the occasion, dog panicked at first so I held the bag and sis held the dog. Then Talia just went "ah ok this is chill" and watched everything in the shop with wide eyes but no attempt at leaving the bag.

I asked sis about our masks, we both have them on us for close contact situations. There are currently no cases in town and we needed to communicate without speaking loud with quiet, near lip reading. We didn't really come into anyone's personal space but I think if there's a next time, I'll mask. The numbers are good locally but it's tourist season already and nobody is masking. Not even the cashier. If only for personal mental reassurance and if anyone bothers me, I'll just say allergies to bypass The Conversation.

I decided to look for nems and speculoos but couldn't find either so got myself a nice barely scented body cream, tried two perfumes and got a cabbage for M. Kinda regretted the cabbage as it was heavy but eh we had our shortcut home.

It's a nice shop with a self serve bakery that's operated behind plexiglass where you operate a sort of scoop and drop it into the small opening. No music or radio thank goodness. Huge front section of discounted but still way overpriced easter chocolates. I wasn't too in my head due to sis with a tiny cutesy dog head sticking out of her bag. Wish i'd got a photo. Talia was adorable.

I wasn't really with it by the end, massive 20 minute stupid womb cramp took out most of my braincells and left me on autopilot from near the cash register to home. But hey I did a thing. Still feel wired but did it. 👀😁

The perfume 'rosa' is quite nice, a peppery spice with a hint of rose - not the sharp rosewater or pink berries with an acrid after smell I expected. Might get that if there's a next time to commemorate. 🎉🎈

[goldenheartgirl1]

Ch.4- Contract Query (TWST Mafia AU)

“Kalim! Don’t get into any trouble!”

“Jamil, it’s just a meeting!”

The bank owner brushed off his partner's concern and smoothed down his single breasted gray suit, the inside of the coat was designed in a gold fabric, a dark leather belt kept his pants close to his form, and in the breast pocket was a ruby colored pocket square and his cufflinks were ruby studs. Kalim wore a peach colored shirt that he straightened out and ran his tanned fingers through his choppy snow colored hair, he double checked his golden curved earrings in the office mirror before marching out confidently of the room. Jamil was checking the cashier tills before the day could start, his eyes narrowed with a lack of amusement as he looked up to the garnet colored ones, the darker haired man scoffed as he closed the last till.

“You say that, but the last time you went out for a simple meeting, I had to call the police to locate you and Silver!”

“We weren’t hurt-”

“I had to pay off lawyers to keep you out of jail! There were two bodies!”

“Jamil,” Kalim pouted a bit, crossing his arms as he commented. “You are too worried, I think I should send you on a vacation soon before your hair turns gray. As I explained, Silver saved my life.”

There was no winning this conversation so Jamil just shook his head with a sigh. “At least keep me updated this time. And don’t forget your insignia!”

Kalim blinked and chuckled as he took the golden viper pin and pinned it to his suit. “Oh right! I knew I was forgetting something. Don’t worry Jamil, this is Riddle we’re talking about, he’ll keep me safe.”

Before Jamil could retort the cheerful bank owner was out the heavy dark wood doors, leaving the dark haired man to tend to the opening of their bank. Once the employees showed and customers started arriving Jamil was able to relax a bit, even more so when he received a picture from Kalim, the bubbly man was standing with Cater and taking a selfie with him outside of the casino. The illumination from the Ayat Al Nur chandeliers left no speck of darkness in the limestone building, polished merbau wood was the fashion for furniture and the main cashier counter where people lined up, all through the building the echoes of heels and chatter filled the air both being intimidating yet genteel. The building itself was three stories, the second floor held the offices and loan departments while downstairs was the main lobby and vault. Walking into the bank the first thing anyone notices is the giant vault that was positioned in the center of the wall behind the bank tellers, the second thing to notice would be the security scanners next to the giant doors that release a silent alarm to the security crew on the third floor. If someone brought in a weapon the security crew are to warn the staff through the computers and security guards would be notified. 

No natural light entered the lobby floor from the lack of windows and guards were posted at each corner of the large room, Jamil strolled past the bank tellers who politely spoke with their individual customers before stopping when someone called him over. He arrived at one of the younger tellers and looked to the man behind the counter who looked very sore from their conversation. The lobby was empty at the time, some universal phenomenon always occurs that trouble brews, all customer witnesses seem to vanish. Jamil, the ever so stoic and cordial second man to the bank, asked with the greatest care as he moved the younger teller behind him.  “Is there a problem, sir?”

“Yeah, I came here to check my account and talk to someone about loans but he says I don’t have an account.” 

Jamil could already see where this was going, almost every day they would see someone that claimed to have an account with a ridiculous amount of money, then if the bank couldn’t find the account they would start a new one with “start-up” money as an apology. The vice president merely nodded and asked for the man’s ID, which he stupidly gave, and worked on looking up his name in the system. Of course, there was no account and he handed the ID back before saying in a deceivingly polite voice.

“Sir, there is no account or record of you with us. Now, for wasting mine and my employees time I request you to leave if you have no further business.”

“That’s bullshit! Let me speak to the loan manager!”

“Sir, I am the loan manager for the day.” Jamil smirked, watching the man get red in the face. “If you insist on making a scene I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

After his warning came, one of the guards moved forward but instead a gunshot went off and the bitter man fell onto the stone floor in his own blood. While the guards pulled their guns out, Jamil looked at the shooter with unamusement, there Azul stood with a satisfied smirk and holstered his gun in his coat. The charcoal eyes rolled in annoyance as he calmed his newer employees down, having the senior employees help clean up the body and to close the bank for a few minutes, the guards slowly holstered their guns upon realizing who held the stainless steel revolver. Azul merely walked around the body while the employees gathered a mop and other supplies, his flint gray eyes didn’t even blink when they met the stern gaze of the vice president, and he commented in a sly manner.

“It’s always so sad when you have such unfortunate souls, isn’t it? They consistently trouble those above them because they never work for their riches.” 

Jamil bit his tongue from spitting out an obscenity, looking at the dolphin gray haired man before him, as usual he sported wearing his black fedora and tailored suit that presented him as the powerful business man he was. While most of his henchmen wear a light-purple undershirt and white bow tie, Azul instead wears a white undershirt and a purple bow tie. The double-breasted suit has a purple underlining, a lavender-gray scarf drapes over both his shoulders and under the suit’s lapels, and Azul wears black dress shoes with block heels and silver buckles on the sides. “Let’s go to my office, shall we?”

“Please, lead the way.” Azul replied with a nod and followed the darker toned man, his cane clacked against the stone and his gloved hand was firmly around the dark purple conch handle.

Once arriving at Jamil’s office, he locked the door and closed all the curtains. Azul politely stood there and waited while Jamil prepared the room. The man pushed some loose black hair away from his eyes as he glanced at Azul, motioning to the chair as he spoke. “Have a seat, would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you, we have more pressing matters to discuss.”

“I see, is that why you traumatized my staff members and made my floors all bloody and disgusting?” Jamil asked bitterly while sitting at his desk and looking at the relaxed visitor. 

Azul’s devious smile only grew as he waved his left hand nonchalantly. “It’s good for them to experience this violence, it helps them grow stronger. No, I had no intentions on shooting anyone today, but since he was being so ignorant and rude to you and your staff I decided to take over. I think you would call that an act of benevolence.”

“I would call that the act of a mafia man that enjoys breaking the innocence of others.”

Jamil’s eyes narrowed as the smile from his visitor dropped to a more serious expression. “You can call it what you’d like Jamil, but let’s not delay any longer. I am here to see the file of a few people from my gang.”

“You suspect fraud?” 

“Perhaps..” Azul muttered, watching Jamil’s fingers as he rapidly typed in his password to the computer and brought up the bank files. “Please look up, Jackson Bently, Omar Shandler, Maria Russo. Are there any peculiar transactions?”

Reading through the files, Jamil took time to see if there was anything hidden, some “strange” transactions would be large sums of money submitted or small consistent sums. After a few minutes Jamil motioned Azul to come over, the man stood from his chair and looked over Jamil’s shoulder to see Jackson’s file. “I notice that your mafia member Jackson has had a consistent income, that I assume is not part of his pay.”

“It’s only 20 thaumarks, but every week he gets his money. That is certainly not from tips or from me.”

Both men were stuck considering they were deposits through a Magicam account, and that system has many firewalls that would be difficult to crack. Then Jamil smiled a little and suggested, glancing up at Azul for a second before turning to his computer. “I think I have a way to lure him here to confess.”

“Oh?” Azul hummed with interest, leaning his right hand on the desk as he watched the man work, then grinned seeing the accounts numbers fall to zero. “I see, I’m sure it won't take him long to call.”

“A call is not good enough,” Jamil muttered, grabbing his phone and calling to the lobby. “Taylor, if a Mr. Jackson Bently calls, please redirect him to me. Yes, thank you.”

Azul made himself comfortable on the burgundy leather chair and watched as Jamil hung up, then spoke with a calm manner. “How long do you think it will take for him to notice?”

“Not long, for our servers if you fall in debt or your account suddenly loses a lot of money, it will automatically send a text to request you to call our bank tellers.”

“Ah, Jamil, you always somehow impress me! It’s a shame you won’t rethink your status here..”

Jamil rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, almost mocking Azul as he responded. “I’m flattered. But I prefer not to get blood all over me or go to those vermin filled streets you work on.”

“Still afraid of bugs?” Azul teased with a smirk, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands as he held his cane. “I could always keep you in charge of my lounge, it’s clean there.”

“Your workers are insufferable,” Jamil scoffed and played with his hair a bit, keeping a firm gaze on the man across his desk. “Jade is focused but you never know what’s up his sleeves, and Floyd is a disaster waiting to happen. Everyone else is obsessed with money or has issues with orders.”

“They hold their purposes, do not question my choices of employment.” 

Before anything else was said, the phone rang and Jamil quickly answered and gave his scripted greeting and informed the man he had to come in to handle the money situation in person, in the meantime Azul texted Floyd and Jade to inform them of what was happening. After the call was finished, Jamil stood up and said in a tired tone, retrieving water from the refreshments table. “He’s on his way, you will catch him downstairs.”

“Thank you Jamil, although I thought you would want to join me? Surely you are just as curious as I am about this anonymous tipper.”

“I have no such interest in watching you and your henchmen tear off his nails and cut his tongue off.”

“Jamil, I assure you those treatments are for the stubborn ones, Jackson is more of a quiet man.” Azul stood up, walking directly behind Jamil which caused the man to stop drinking his water, and he whispered calmly to him. “There is another matter I wish to discuss today..”

“Is it about the loans for your construction project?”

“No, it’s about our contract, the file that is coded “Toxic barb” if I remember right.”

Jamil’s eyes widened a fraction as he seethed out between his teeth. “Let me guess, you want to make alterations again?”

“Precisely.” 

He didn’t need to turn around to know the mafia boss was grinning, Jamil shoved him away with his shoulder before pulling out a file from his filing cabinet. Placing the document on the table he sat down and grabbed a fountain pen before opening the file and questioning Azul. “So, what is wrong with it? You can’t keep changing things just because they don’t benefit you as much as you’d like.”

“Our agreement states that you pay me for protection to keep as much crime out of the Golden Sand’s district, as well as providing me with best lawyers in return for some meddling in the stock market to get you and Kalim more profit. That is all well and good, but the last paragraph regarding our..more personal agreements seem a little skewed.”

Jamil raised a brow and flipped the pages to the final sections, this contract was made specifically for Azul and Jamil alone, even Kalim did not know this existed. While Kalim was a good bank owner and person, he was always so naive as to what gives them their profit and how to control it. Kalim could be the face and voice all he wanted, but all the control was really in Jamil’s power since he held the loans and most understanding of the business. The first two pages were deals of smuggling, gambling debts, loans, and construction projects, but the last couple paragraphs were more lively. At the end, it was described that “blood of a member will be spared by blood of another,” which was a detail describing that if one of Azul’s lackey’s were in critical condition and needing an organ or blood then Jamil arranged for them to be at the top of the list.

“I fail to see what is wrong, I give your people the best chance of survival by skipping them to the top of the list. Idia does not have everything you need so we agreed to set you up at a specific hospital to accommodate those needs.”

“Yes, but I also realized that you must have made a knot when we worked on that agreement. Specifically “blood for blood” means that you could give my men a chance, but also means you can take that chance away if you chose to.”

“Now you are the one insulting me Azul,” Jamil grumbled as he read the page again, it was true he could twist the words for such a purpose but never saw a reason to. “The only thing I asked in trade for this deal was that you cover the damage fees of the operations while I got you all bumped up the list. What would you want to change?”

“How about something like this?” Azul purred as he leaned on the desk and watched Jamil carefully, as if the man was waiting to see those pages suddenly combust in his hands. “You will purchase the stock of organs and submit them to Idia, and I shall pay for transportation of the organs.”

“Azul! That will cost a lot of money!”

“And that’s why I am also adding an extra to your side of things, you can convince Kalim to..alter the payment that I receive from you to help pay those expenses.”

It could work, Leona and Azul are paid equally by Kalim about 3,000 thaumarks a month just for “being peaceful” in the Golden Sands, and for protection they pay Azul an extra 40 thaumarks a month. If they could cut Azul’s funding a bit they could save it for transportation of these organs, and he knew that the mafia already made plenty of money with their businesses. Jamil wouldn’t have to call in the early morning to reserve a spot and he can stop bribing doctors to keep quiet about this activity. In the end it would save money, but he knew that there was a catch. “It sounds good, but what are you getting out of it other than saving a trip to the hospital and having to dodge questions?”

“Your services of course. If you help me at the lounge twice a month, with workers, finances, and promo deals, I will happily accept that as payment. And don’t think I’m being patsy here, by being a part of my services that also means you will work like everyone else and kill if I say you must. Have we got a deal?”

Jamil’s eyes were stern, it was a chance to save money but he didn’t want to be Azul’s dog either. He and Azul shared an equal intelligence, there was always some trick to pull on each other and in the end neither side got the upper hand. This however was also a chance to see the lounge and maybe he could mess with the finances a little to save more money, or find a way to improve his own control over Azul’s men. Begrudgingly, Jamil took out a new paper to attach to the file and wrote the statement down, sliding it to Azul for approval before both men signed the paper. It was then that Azul left to see his employee and Jamil smirked to himself, looking at the file he mumbled to himself. “Don’t think you have won Azul, you might have the people under your thumb, but I have the city in my palm.”

[thekingjadechronicles]

Sinnin on a Sunday Night

Flashback to my heavy partying days. Not quite sure when they really stopped come to think of it. Did they stop?

Besties: Charlie Jade x Sunny Kim

It was a productive Sunday, one Charlie used to get her hectic life together. There was so much to reconcile. Firstly, she was back in the United States--the A to be specific. She'd spent most of July to December which included her 19th birthday in Santiago, Chile. It was her first birthday away from home. On top of that, this spring would be her final semester at Spelman. Second, Reggie was out telling anyone who'd listen that his daughter was a world traveler with money. She didn't even have a job. Lupe said to ignore Reggie's siblings if they somehow got her number. They were Reggie clones looking to bring her down a peg and make Reggie out to be a liar in the process. Charlie had gotten a taste of that when she was young. Her aunt Regina was an evil bitch.

Reggie hit Charlie for photos of her trip and she'd sent a few without her in them. Aside from that nonsense, she had her commitment to the step team which demanded she give more time and energy now that she was back, her romantic roster of past dates drizzling in texts and calls to catch up and go out, her studies, and the condition of the dorm room. It had been a mess all week. Charlie couldn't focus so she started cleaning her side of the room which went quickly. Miranda’s took more time along with the bathroom, floors, and laundry sorting. Luckily they had an SVU marathon.

Olivia Benson had finally gotten the solemn gothic teen prostitute to open up when Miranda's ranting overtook the scene causing Charlie to miss the most satisfying part of the exchange. "The oceans are getting warmer and no one seems to care!" She was laying on her bed going on and on with gusto while Charlie sorted their combined and overflowing laundry. Looked like SVU was out.

"What are you talkin' bout," Charlie dropped the pair of red hot-pants from the basket to the floor, placing her hands on her hips. "You're talking and I don't know what the fuck you’re saying."

"Jo-er, No me escuchas de todos modos."

"You're annoying."

"The OCEAN. It's heating."

"And that's bad..."

Miranda slapped the bed she'd been restricted to in frustration. "Pretty soon our sea life will be no more! Or certain species will be extinct at the least!"

"Anddd?"

"Hija de puta." Her irritation was palpable, payback for itching Charlie's nerves. "This affects you too. Evaporation intensifies as temperatures rise, and so does the transfer of heat from the oceans to the air. As the storms travel across WARM oceans, they pull in more water vapor and heat. That means hurricanes. Tropical storms. Severe storms."

The mere thought of more severe storms made Charlie anxious. She took the laundry to get away from the conversation already having enough on her mind. Next up was to meet Taylor from the step team for their weekly Sunday brunch. Miranda wasn't into church but Taylor was raised in it and Charlie found that it was soothing. She'd tag-along and they'd make it a weekly thing chillin platonically at Rosie's Cafe in the West End.

"Do you mind swinging by Target? I need to get a few things."

Charlie had to hit up Lupe for the money since she didn't have a paying job yet. "You better find a job soon," she warned but Charlie was well aware of her thinning patience and had one lined up for post-grad. Until then.. she needed things for the dorm like a new dish brush, a new toilet brush, tampons, dish soap, deodorant, a toothbrush, and some food. Taylor checked out first and went to take a call outside, then Charlie rushed to the register where a Korean cashier stood waiting with eyeliner and cuts in his eyebrow.

"Hi, how are you."

Charlie was torn on whether to flirt as she was being conscious of Taylor's time with items already spilling on the belt. "Good thanks."

He scanned each item quickly giving her a total while he bagged them, waiting for her to say something before hitting her with the "Enjoy your day." The strong eye contact following her even on her way out pulled her right back to him. She couldn't just leave. "Yes, ma'am," he leaned forward.

"I almost left something.. Your number."

Instantly he blushed into a small smirk raising a subtle brow while keying his number into her phone. "Sunny," Charlie read aloud.

"Your name is?"

"Charlie. You single, Sunny?"

"Hell yeah," he smiled shyly, following Charlie's finger as it trailed down his red uniform polo.

"Anyone who'd be pissed to hear you say that?"

"Why," he squinted, "You can't fight?"

"Maybe you can show me," Charlie smiled on her way out.

"Call me. I'll show you."

Charlie smiled all the way to Taylor's car. He was exactly her type. His haircut and piercings told her that.

Back at campus, Charlie took a long nap in an empty dorm as Miranda was with her sorority sisters. After a mental reset she responded to her messages and responded to a call from Miranda's older brother Carmello. He couldn't reach Miranda because her phone was probably on do not disturb. "I can pass a message," Charlie offered after a brief chat about school. Turned out their mom was having a surprise birthday party and they wanted both Miranda and Charlie there. "Oh hell yes, finally a party!" Charlie made a note to get with Miranda on a gift.

The next call she got was an invite to go out for the night with some students. While Charlie's Sunday afternoons were often filled with the quiet peace of church, the evenings were often filled with loud clubs. Classy clubs. Ratchet clubs. Strip clubs. Dance clubs. She wasn't old enough to legally drink but she was old enough to build a roster of potential dates. Unbeknownst to all but Miranda, she had a digital list of all her dates in order. There were fifteen names exactly. Each person had anywhere from zero to five stars rating attractiveness, kissing skills, and personality. A girl named Valeria had the highest scores to date with perfect scores of five. The number in parenthesis (3) stood for the number of times they kicked it.

Charlie was still searching for that special someone who could make her heart do jumping jacks. What did it feel like to be in love, or at least infatuated? She explored her curiosity through nights out on Sundays and Friday nights where she could practice risky flirtation. She'd always been outgoing and now that she had friends on campus to invite her out to the heavy clambakes and meetups as she liked to call them, she had a decent social network and knew her way around the small chunk of Atlanta. The more she went out, the more popular she became and the more Atlanta became like a second home.

She texted Sunny since she had his number. He texted back within 20 minutes that he wouldn't make it out which was a little disappointing, but she moved on and enjoyed her night as usual dancing and getting drunk off drinks ordered by her people. She returned to the room at 3 AM smelling like liquor, knocking over things in the room she'd just cleaned, and giggling--typical Sunday night.

"Oh! Carmello called you," she slurred leaning over Miranda who woken up to the noise.

"I know I read your note." She turned over trying to get back to sleep.

"I left a note," Charlie pointed to herself in confusion before letting it go. "Miranda, you know you're my best friend here, right? I don't feel like I tell you enough but I love you. You're important to me and I'm so glad we-"

"Charlie, but for the love of God shut the fuck up and go to sleep. It's 3 fuckin AM."

"I know, I know I just--Hey.. did you see the video of that mom who, her baby-like.. fell. Wait he almost fell because he dived forward head first to the floor but she caught him! She dropped her grocery bags and he caught the bags mid-air, he was so sm-"

"CHARLIE," Miranda groaned. "Go to sleep.. Ok? We have class in the morning."

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Miranda mocked.

"Oh SHIT.."

"Uhuh, somehow you always forget."

Charlie stripped on the spot in a rush to shower. She woke up the next morning in the shower still naked. She only woke up because Miranda opened the shower to step in and nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus-CHARLIE."

"Hm.." It took a few fuzzy seconds for Charlie to come to herself and wake up fully. The hangover was nothing nice and Miranda was good enough to make sure she had her things like a mother checking her child before school.

It wasn't until a couple weekends later that Sunny would text and by that time Charlie had plans, but she gave it one more shot the next weekend on a Sunday after church and brunch. He didn't have a car but he had access to a car to borrow. He picked her up at the school taking her to a nearby art gallery with local pieces. Together they walked side by side through the art-lined aisles listening to the low indie music in comfortable silence exchanging an occasional smile. He was taller by an inch or two she noticed as she walked. He had long legs and nice style. Nice shoes.

"Do you know this song," Charlie asked.

"Nope, you?"

"Nope.."

An art gallery was an interesting choice. It was free and a no-effort date. If things didn't go well he wasn't losing anything. Neither was she.

They continued to stroll, stopping to admire paintings and sculpted works, giving each piece its respective moment of thought and admiration. They were all pieces for sale, but expensive for a college kid's budget.

"So you're an art student," he nodded. "What pulled you into art?"

"Um," Charlie giggled, "Fuck you talkin bout, I'm not an art student I'm a psychology major."

Seven flavors of confusion cross his attractive features. "So.. wait wait.. why did I see you with the art people? They always buy art shit when they come to target."

"You can't just like art? To be fair, it's my minor but because I just like art. Is that why you brought me here? ..Do you even like these paintings," Charlie smirked.

"Hell nah, I was doing it for you! These paintings are shit."

"They are shit," Charlie laughed going back by the one they'd passed a few steps back. "This one looks like it belongs in the great depression with an old white woman named Lois eating water pies."

"That one and the one beside it. It's so boring. $750 to look at dirt and an old barn. That's serial killer shit."

"Nebraska.. we're in fuckin Atlanta.. Look at this shit," Charlie pulled him arm to the next one. "What the fuck is that?"

"Chaos. Someone just said fuck it and threw up on it."

"Then sealed it in cement."

They went through the entire gallery roasting the art before they were thirsty enough to grab drinks with Sunny showing his ID for a mojito. He was freshly 21 it seemed. "You're not drinking," he eyed. "I'm not 21," Charlie shrugged.

"Get the fuck out are you 18?"

"I'm 19."

He visibly relaxed which made Charlie laugh.

"Gimme some of yours."

"You gotta be 21," he teased making it look good as red kool-aid by closing his eyes. She pecked him on the cheek so they opened. "Gimme a lil bit," she whispered and he complied letting her drink half through his straw.

They spent the the rest of that evening getting to know one another until 9 PM when he'd dropped her back at Spelman with a date scheduled for the next week.. a restaurant and Ripley's museum. She was excited having never been. It was something she'd wanted to do and hadn't thought to. It was perfect.

All through that week, she couldn't wait to talk to Sunny. Luckily he called on a Wednesday. Apparently he felt a similar feeling, they'd fucked around and matched personalities to the point that he had to call and keep calling. On breaks and slow moments--calling and texting. Weeks later it hadn't slowed.

"That another young man? Sounds like a young man," Miranda teased when Charlie was on the phone at 12:30 AM.

"It's Sunny. Say what's up to my roomie, Sunny."

"Supp Gworrrrlll!"

"Okay you're done," Charlie chuckled taking him back off speaker. Talking to Sunny was like talking to an old friend. It was like talking to Miranda in a way, but he was a guy and he was fine. "I wanna take you clubbing," Charlie smiled listening to him flex like he could outdance her if given the chance. "Ok then this Sunday night. Don't bitch out," she threatened.

What Charlie didn't know that night on the phone was that Sunny would open her up to a brand new world of safe exploration. He was into some serious things that she had yet to imagine--and he'd teach her... gradually. Then they'd learn together.

Out of Sunny came his powerful and dominant altar ego Stormy and from Stormy, King Jade was born.

[kookiecrumb]

Hey! I hope you’re well. I was really hoping you could write up a smut about this situation I’m going to through (using Jungkook) I’ve been talking to this boy for over a year and truth be told he wanted me first because ent mom wanted me to date him but I hated him!! Right now we’re at a point where he doesn’t want to talk to me. He leaves me on opened for hours at a time, delivered for DAYS even. We just lost our 200 day streak and I honestly don’t know what his deal is. We use to send n*des back and forth very regularly and now we do our best to even hold a conversation. Maybe I sl^tted myself out but my overall point is that he’s not always been this way. Anyways, I’m hoping you could at least get my to third base in your writing! The two hash it out and end up roughly f^cking 🥰

That's a really intense scenario 😅

I have a lot on my plate right now with requests. They're closed right now (check my pinned post and scroll to the requests section).

But~ I get that you're trying to work through it...

Perhaps you could write about it, yourself. Writing can serve as a form of therapy for many people, just as reading could.

Just for your peace of mind, I'll at least talk about how I would write this.

-

Maybe retail therapy could help you.

You took a shopping day. With your comfortable shoes and your purse, you took the car all the way to Summerset Mall in search for just anything to distract yourself.

There's a reason Ariana Grande wrote those lyrics in for 7 rings.

Perhaps happiness is the same price as your bottoms.

Anyways, you're at the mall, searching through the racks at Nordstrom when you lift your eyes to see Jungkook, striding through the walkways with his friends, laughing his ass off.

What the fuck?

You thought he was dead or something.

One day a dude is sending you dick pics through snapchat and the next they're leaving yours on read. You'll never understand it.

Being the curious person you are, though, you keep a steady gaze on them as they leave to the general mall area.

It would be weird to follow them, but your closure might me more important in this case.

Jungkook was standing in front of two of his guy friends, reenacting some kind of story-- and it must be hilarious because they're laughing out loud.

"So-- and she goes, she goes like--"

"Who's she?" You ask.

Jungkook's ears turn red. "...My sister," he clears his throat, turning around. "My sister tells me about an interaction she had with a cashier the other day."

Believable.

"So, we snap for a few months, you get bored of me and then ghost me, is that how the next story goes?" You confront him.

"How did you know?" Jungkook has the audacity to laugh.

"My mom really liked you, Jungkook. I thought that maybe we could make something work. It was just sex to you?"

"No, it wasn't just sex. Because we never fucked," he drops his smile.

"And you're salty about it."

Jungkook's friends scatter, heading to the pretzel store to grab a bite to eat. This is none of their business.

"Of course I'm salty about it," Jungkook says in a much more quiet tone. "You never gave me the time of day."

You stare at the ground. What he said is true. You hated him when your mom suggested the two of you got together. You just didn't want your mom to be right.

"...Please forgive me, Jungkook. I made a mistake. I should have taken that chance," you mumble.

"That's okay...just...let's be boyfriend and girlfriend before we end up hurting each other even more..." he replies, quietly.

"You want to make things official?"

"...Yeah."

-

If you want me to write smut you'll have to send me a request when they're open but I really hope this helped.

I imagine that y/n would be the one punishing him a little, talking about how she's watched him stroke his cock through a screen for so long, now she gets to give him the fuck they've always dreamed of having...

Yeah ;P

[love-sunshine-and-peanuts]

Antonello Michele,

It's 11AM, an unusual time for us to speak. I can't recall an instance when we spoke at this hour because most days, you'll still be sleeping by this time.

Ironically, as I write this, I find out that you woke up early as opposed to your usual 3PM. I guess it's only fitting that I write this to you now.

Talking to you is so easy. I remember the first time I ever met you, you walked into the coffee shop, asking me if I was myself. We proceeded to engage in the most awkward conversation of what we were going to order. It seemed like the cashier couldn't point out what we were to each other.

We sat by the table outside, not even taking the chairs across each other. We started with small talk but we easily grew comfortable in deepening the conversation.

The moment you put the tray of coffee and cold, incredibly shitty sandwiches (we were both pretty upset wraps weren't available), I asked you "Why Snoopy?"

You checked your forearm, perhaps, making sure the ink was still there. You gave the shittiest response, telling me it was just your favorite as a kid.

What I couldn't tell you though was that I loved Snoopy as child too. I overcame it for some reason but it returned when I lost my dog, almost just a month before I first met you.

That day, no matter how much of a blur it feels right now, was clear as day. I didn't feel like I had to think nor did I have to care. I didn't feel like I was being judged, even for having legs too short to keep up with your quick walking pace. Even the ride home felt short despite the traffic because being with you was just so easy.

The next weeks, I got sick. You checked on me more than anyone else has. It was heartwarming. But in fear of you overstepping, the conversations faded into one-meme-a-day exchanges.

It changed when you visited the office again while I was there. You bought me a coffee as part of a silly little gamble you purposely made yourself lose while I was sick. I saw you for less than 5 minutes but the conversation we had about dogs after took at least 5 hours.

Everything was normal until the last time I saw you. You attended an office party despite being practically a banished former employee. You endured 5 hours of my drunk self, begging you for a McFlurry. In spite of my persistent attempt to get you to buy me something sweet, the moment you offered to buy coffee for me and two other friends, I boldly still asked for black coffee.

The night took a turn when our two friends left us alone and I couldn't find a cab. On top of that, I left some of my stuff in your car so you and I had to walk there together.

"I'll walk slower so your short legs can keep up," you smirked as we headed towards your car. A car arrived earlier than expected and sans long walking limbs, you urged me to just get my stuff from your car as you hailed the cab.

The night fell quiet when I stood in front of you to say goodbye. Suddenly, it was unnatural for me to part ways with a friend. Trying to stay true to how I bid goodbye, I lazily threw my arms around your torso, thanking you for the coffee and for waiting for me to get a ride home.

I didn't realize how awkward it was until you hesitantly wrapped your arms around me, trying to seem not too taken aback. It still showed though. As usual, my memory fails me as I barely remember our conversations from that night. I just know that you waited for me to get home and we had a night-long conversation about dogs following us in the bathroom to watch us take a dump.

That was the last time I saw you yet with our conversations taking forever almost every night, I feel like I still see you everyday.

That is, until today.

[dzpenumbra]

2/9/23

I'm just gonna say it. It is difficult to add a Turing test for making a Tumblr account? Is it complicated? Does it cost too much money or something? Or have these bots just gotten smart enough to bypass them? The bot accounts on this site are just like... absolutely insane. At least they have been the past few months, I have no idea how long this flood has been a thing, I've only been here since like... August, I think?

I'll be honest, it's not a good look. Like... I swear, if Tumblr had an answer for this? They'd be in really good shape. This is a really cool atmosphere, I wish I had given it a chance sooner. But the amount of bots creeping around reminds me of that scene in the last Matrix movie (the last "real" one, sorry Lana, I really do appreciate the concepts behind what you were trying to do, but even your sibling tapped out on it, and I have to side with them, unfortunately) - let me clarify, in Matrix Revolutions, when Neo is in the City and all those bug robots are swarming around him. Like that. Just... off-putting. Like, what the fuck are they up to? I mean... they're up to something...

Today, I woke up at a somewhat decent hour. I checked the clock and confirmed 8 hours of sleep, which was awesome. Still catching up on sleep, as always... I decided to watch the Subnautica: Below Zero playthrough I've been following in bed to start the day. Depression and grief thing. I watched the same streamer do a playthrough of Project Zomboid when my dog died, so... I don't know, it's weirdly comforting, in a grim kinda way. Like my dog and cat are together now. And it reminds me of how my cat would cuddle with me and grieve with me. I'm very enraptured with the Subnautica playthrough, I love the series. I just cut an episode short to write this.

I was watching that, and lazily trying to navigate Bumble... with very little luck... I swear, these dating apps are just... it's pure depression fuel. In the 4 years that I've been on Bumble and Hinge, I have had 2 successful matches. One was a very brief text exchange through the app over the course of one night which just... evaporated... like I've had more personal conversations with cashiers before... and the other was an alcoholic woman with an STD who just separated from her husband, and just got out of a psych ward for reasons she didn't fully disclose... though who am I to judge, I've been to mental health facilities as well, but my intakes were voluntary so... I feel like my lesson to learn there was to... get more info... or run... still not 100% sure. This woman, a week after my dog died, brought the skeletons of 3 goats over to my home, made me watch Bo Burnham's special about how he was in the same type of isolation as me during the pandemic, gave me one of the worst panic attacks of my life... which I miraculously recovered from within less than 5 minutes... and then... she got freaked out and left. Called me the next day to do the whole, "it's not you, it's me..." And I - to myself, of course - wholeheartedly agreed with her. She needs help, first from herself, then from others. So... let's just say I haven't had a lot of luck with dating apps... XD

My morning was disrupted by the neighbors above running what sounded like... I mean, I guess it was a vacuum? Or maybe a steam cleaner? But it sounded like an industrial autoclave or something. Like, it sounded big and fuckin loud. And it was like... 10:30 AM? I was a little upset at first reaction, but made hay pretty quick. I went downstairs and decided that the best thing I could do was something with headphones on. I decided to pop on the cans and start polishing a new stone. I haven't done that in a long time. I had been using the tumbler for most of my stones and I'm still waiting on the new polish. (OH but I did get my new yoga pants today so yay!) So I took one of the stones my mom mailed to me from her new driveway that she found that she liked a lot and I worked that thing for 2 fucking hours. I really enjoy hand-faceting stones, it's hard work but I find it very rewarding. I wish I had some sort of rig to hold the stone stable so I could be a bit more deliberate and consistent with my angles, but this was a very organic shape so I just sorta went with it, abandoned symmetry entirely and I think it still came out really nice. And the stone was much softer than I was expecting. I think it's veins of calcite running through slate or something? I don't know, I'm not a geologist, I just like making pretty things prettier.

I did yoga. It was really quick today, just like 10-15 minutes. But it had that pose where you go from downward dog and lift one leg? And you're supposed to have your down leg rooted at your heel... but I can't get myself into downward dog and plant my heels. So I kept fumbling around with it and bringing my hands closer in to compensate... and then I was supposed to like... curl my leg above me and stack my hips, while keeping both hands planted. And I just... I could do it on my left side kinda I guess, with my right foot planted, but once we switched I was just falling over. It's frustrating. But, to be fair to myself, my flexibility has massively improved overall. Like I went to stretch my hamstrings earlier and I could touch the floor, which... well, it's been a while.

I took a shower and started to get ready for meeting up with my brother, nephew and sister-in-law for dinner. We went to a really nice chinese restaurant in town - I mean like... really fancy. Like way above any budget I'd be earning in my lifetime. And my socially oblivious ass just doesn't even mention the bill, which is honestly probably a godsend for them that they don't have to deal with the awkwardness of insisting on paying for the expensive meal they suggested. Idk, my brother works in the stock market and my sister in law is a doctor, and I'm a fucking artist who doesn't sell anything so... I'm just gonna kinda assume it's pretty obvious I won't be paying for dinner... XD

I got there early and parked in a parking garage I haven't parked in in... probably 15 years? They don't do paper tickets anymore, it was super confusing, I had no idea what to do. I fumbled around with the app thing on my phone but I didn't want to take my credit card out in a parking garage to put my number into it, because... I mean, there was a homeless guy yelling across the street at the entrance so like... yeah. So I just said fuck it. I walked down this main street, it's like... one of those streets in a city that is specifically for walking only, you know? And it's just lined with shops and shit. When I used to live in this city, my apartment was a block from the top of this street, and my community college was halfway down the street, so I spent a ton of time there. I mean, I remember sitting on a big rock on the street playing guitar for people, busking and making enough to buy coffee. That's a fond memory. I was so much more confident back then.

Now... I was super overwhelmed. I was amazed, and intrigued by everything. The buildings felt very tall around me, I recognized nearly none of the shops. I found some cool new age shops and a skate shop and I was interested in checking them out, but I didn't have time. I had to get the reservation for my brother and them, they were running late. On my way to the restaurant, a homeless guy asked me if I had a few dollars to spare. And to make it clear how long it has been since I have encountered this... they used to ask "do you have any spare change". And now, with inflation and fucking stupid costs of living, he asked "do you have some spare cash", and even a few dollars isn't enough for these poor people. Imagine how insulted and angry that guy would be if I gave him a 50 cents. I... kept staring wide-eyed at the buildings as I walked by and pretended I didn't hear him. I felt really bad. I did have some spare cash, but... I remembered that in my... inattentiveness... I keep forgetting to take the cash out of my wallet. I don't have anywhere else to put it, frankly. And inside my wallet, I have the cash that the administrator of the retreat I went to to detox off meds gave me for an illustration commission. It was like $400. I'm not fucking kidding. And I don't know what to do with this cash because like... who the fuck breaks a $100 in 2023? And I never leave my damn house. And I don't want to like... leave it in some random doom drawer in my house, it'll just disappear. I don't know what to do with it, honest. So like... I just have it in my wallet. And I'm walking by this guy and going, "I know I have cash, but I also know if that fucker sees that I have over $400 and a pair of AirPods on me, he's taking all of it or I'm getting stabbed." And, to top it off, I'm fucking alone. So... yeah, I was super fucking anxious. And I think rightfully so. It went fine, obviously, but like... that shook me a bit.

I should really just get rid of that cash, I guess I can go to my bank? And see if I can deposit it somehow? It's not like I can feed it into an ATM or something. I'm so fucking dumb with this stuff, I swear, no one taught me any of this. It's super embarrassing. So yeah, maybe I'd be less panicky if I didn't have that cash on me.

Dinner was great. Great to see my nephew, a riot as always. Good catching up and chilling. We did this thing at the restaurant where the chef just picked what we were going to eat and they just brought a bunch of courses out for us. All vegetarian, because my brother has been vegetarian since... I'm gonna venture to say since Clinton was in office. Which was actually cool with me, because I don't like fish - never ate it my entire life, never got a taste for it so it's super overwhelming to my senses now - and I don't really like beef either. Just pork and chicken for me, usually just chicken, if I'm being honest. The food was a big adventure of new flavors, things I'd probably never order off a menu myself. So, it was a big wave of new experiences today.

I was super overwhelmed at the beginning of dinner, and super drowsy because the sun was going down. That's been happening a lot lately. But I bounced back after getting a pot of Jasmine tea in me.

I noticed, in reflection after the fact, that I talk very openly and frequently about my mental health. And I'm starting to think that might not be a good thing. I know it's habit, I mean... how could it not be? Like... since about... 2018? The vast majority of my social interactions have been revolving around mental health. And by vast majority, I mean like.. 80-90% of my conversations, no exaggeration. When that is your life, when every conversation is like a therapy session (or actually is a therapy session), you really are forced to get comfortable with sharing. Like... if you go to group therapy and never speak up, you're just cheating yourself. So, powering through those reflexes and getting comfortable with talking about my mental health has actually... tipped into the realm of maybe being awkward for people.

Like... I'm talking to my sister-in-law about how my PTSD makes it hard for me to open up to a doctor in only 15 minutes, like I start freezing and stumbling over my words on simple questions and shit, and how I can only imagine how hard it makes their job to try to get all the information and diagnose and set up treatment and everything in 15 fucking minutes! Something is just going horribly wrong there. But like... I'm just hoping I'm not making things awkward. I really don't even notice it anymore, like... the way I spoke to them, the way I speak to my therapist and the way I speak here are all like... basically identical. It's just... my thoughts. My pure thoughts. I still have some boundaries, I mean it's not like they need to know about my sexual habits or how my hemorrhoids are doing, especially at a dinner table... But I'm afraid it might be awkward for them to talk about mental health stuff. I don't know, it's hard to tell. Maybe I should ask at some point?

After dinner, I went home. It was pretty warm today, I was getting bummed as I drove back that all the snow was melting. I was getting a big craving to go skate. And then I saw this dude slip on ice as he was walking back from a night class, when I drove by a local college. And he didn't know I saw him, I pretended I didn't see so he didn't feel embarrassed, not that he should be, it's like the lowest friction substance in the fucking world... And that planted a seed, which sprouted once I got to the rotary park where I skate. I scouted it out as I drove by - there was still snow. I pulled into my "car park", as my South African accented Siri likes to call it, which makes me smile. And as I walked in, I put my foot in a pile of snow by the door to see what the conditions were like. The snow was something close to the condition of like... a Slurpee, or something. If you're not American and don't know what that is, I don't know how to help you, like... a slushie? Like that kind of snow/ice. Like sleet that is cold enough to take solid form. That kind of snow is... not ideal because it's right on the edge of going to slush and certain ground/stone/pavement can retain heat... and the friction and pressure from skating can just turn that snow right into a slow, wet, soggy mess. But if the temperature is low enough... you get all the packability of wet snow, and that slush effect doesn't happen, and it also doesn't instantly turn to ice like it does on colder nights... And that's pretty much the conditions I got to work with tonight. So I stretched and I went skating.

But my dumb ass didn't bring my water bottle.

I tried skating the 2-stair, but that whole warm stone turning packed snow into slush thing? That was happening right where I was supposed to pop. Right at the lip of the first stair. It was just crap. But there was snow all over. I skated flatground for a while. My ollie was doing really well today, very consistent, good pop too. I was getting more comfortable and accurate with pop shuvits. I couldn't land a 3 shuv to save my life, unfortunately, when it's slushier it feels tougher to get that extra rotation because the snow has more give to it. At least that's what my head tells me. But I got a moving kickflip, maybe 2? I don't remember. Then I went to that section where I had a long downhill section of sidewalk to build speed and a natural kicker where it goes flat and then inclines down again, and I skated that for a bit until a dude came over and just... sat like 25 feet away from where that ramp was... I got paranoid and stopped skating it for a bit. Then I saw a smoke cloud come from there. And I'm sure it was just weed smoke, and it was probably some college kid who just couldn't smoke in his apartment and wanted to smoke somewhere chill, so he chose the park at like 9PM alone. I get it, I just... I was really anxious from earlier, and in general, so I just stopped skating that spot. I went over to the 4-stair, landed it at least 3 times. Went back to flat and started trying to get varial flip. I've never had it... perfectly consistent. Like... I've landed a few and I got pretty good at them, but I was never really consistent. There was a point where I could pull out kickflip and heelflip (on the right surfaces, at least) pretty much every try. Less so with heelflip, but still. Varial flip was never at that level. But today, I landed like 3 on flat not moving. I clearly remember a moment where it just clicked and I was like "oh, that's what it feels like!" And it felt as easy as a shuvit and I just popped, flicked, floated and the board just lined up right under my feet. And I came damn close to landing it moving, but I just couldn't stick it. I had to tap out.

What I kinda want to get off my chest - which is a fun way of putting it, once you see what I'm gonna talk about - was something I was freaking out about while skating. When I went to the doctor's office, they told me I have high blood pressure. Like... that's not heart rate, right? Like... pressure is different. And they were going to check it again to see if it was just anxiety, but like... they didn't. So that lack of resolution has just been sticking with me. And I got really anxious about it today. Like, I was getting chest pains and tightness and shit. And I've been getting that a lot from anxiety, so like... if I was having actual heart and pulmonary issues, I probably wouldn't notice, honestly. So I would just get a lot of invasive thoughts about like... exercising too hard, pushing myself too hard and then just fucking passing out and collapsing in the park. Like... I'm old now, or something. And I like... I'm not that old. I keep hearing people around my age, mid-30's, and they keep acting like they're in their fucking 60's or something. It's fucking weird, sorry. Like, my body aches too, guys. My back feels like garbage, my neck and posture are fucked, my hips have decided to secede and are staging regular protests against the rest of my body. I'm tired all the time, when I get hurt it takes a lot more to get me back up, I get tired quicker, shit like that. But I'm not fucking old. The people who consider me old don't consider themselves young and they're like 18. So... I'll consider calling myself old when I get to my mid 50s or something, thanks. But on the pulmonary front, I want to make sure I'm not being too cavalier and overlooking potential health issues that are avoidable, because I do have a history of blood-related issues (clots) and I do not have the best diet. I actually have a pretty poor diet. So... yeah, just wanna make sure that didn't creep up on me, and today was especially bad anxiety-wise in that department.

But, on the plus side, some kids saw me skating from their apartment... and they actually saw me land my first varial flip of the year and fucking cheered! I was listening to music in my headphones so I was just oblivious to the outside world, and they cheered so loud that I could hear them! It made me so happy. I wanted to say something about like... if there are any gods that give a fuck about them, I hope they throw some good stuff their way, but man, it's been a hot minute since I've heard anyone talk about religion publicly and that... feels a bit scary, honestly. Feels like people are just gonna come after you if you're polytheistic in 2023, you know? Weird shit, when we're supposed to be all evolved and progressive and whatever but yeah. I guess... I hope good fortune finds those two young men, for bringing excitement and joy to the heart of this grieving, depressed 36 year old snowskater.

Since I didn't have water, I ate a bunch of snow when I was out, but that wasn't nearly enough and I just came back early. And that was basically my night. I finished the night by polishing another one of those stones and watching another "episode" and a half of the Subnautica VoDs. Now I'm here.

Another cool idea I had, which I shared with my brother because I know he's really into languages... I decided to search Twitch today for streamers who speak French. I took 3 years of French in college, and I surprisingly still understand a lot. I could never speak it, but I can read it okay, just really slow. So I found someone who was playing League of Legends, a game I am pretty familiar with (but haven't played in like... 5 years?) and just... had that going in the background. And I got the Google Translate app thing for Chrome so I can just select a word that I don't know in the chat and it will real-time translate for me. I could follow a surprising amount, considering I haven't studied French since like... 2004. Wow, almost 20 years. Crazy. I'm pretty sure if I keep that up and just periodically try to like... figure out where they are in conversation? I'm sure I'll start picking up more and more. And maybe eventually I'll be able to chime in some short sentences every now and again. Who knows. I thought it was cool, something new to spice things up and to contribute to intellectual/skill development.

I am fucking tired. I need to go to bed. Byeeee.

[reflectionsnovember]

Last Night, I dreamt that I went to Madrid, and the Concierge Didn't See Me.

I was with my cousin, and her husband. The concierge carried some bags up for us, and proceeded to ask one by one if we need anything from the room service catalogue. (Now, I don't know if hotels in Madrid really work like this, but bear with me–– it's just a dream.) She asked my cousin, then her husband, then... no one. As I looked eagerly up at her waiting my turn to ask for a bottle of water, she didn't even process my presence, and bode the other two farewell. I felt invisible. But, like I said. It was just a dream.

8:00 AM. I turn on my work computer before heading down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. Already a barrage of IMs from my boss. This needs to be done. That wasn't done right. Do this, this, this, that. I don't even start work until 9.

So I make my coffee, read a bit. "How to Win Friends and Influence People." A Dale Carnegie classic. I've read it a million times, now. I gaze through the open window and inhale the crisp November air. At 9 I respond to the IMs. I take my morning meeting. And before I know it, I sit in front of the mirror, and I cry. And cry. And cry. I hate feeling invisible. It was just a dream, right?

But... was it? I've been feeling invisible a lot, as of late. Outside of the dream world. I've been feeling like people don't see me. Don't talk to me. Don't notice me. I smile faintly at the cashier, it goes ignored. I make small talk, I get a word back. Uninterested. I have to be doing something wrong, right? Or is this just ...me?

It's strange. It wasn't always like this. I distinctly remember a time when I was more accustomed to being social. When I could strike up conversation with anyone. Where anyone would strike up conversation with me, unprompted. I could barely go out for a quick coffee without getting roped into a good conversation. I loved it, but I didn't realize how much. It made me feel alive, seen, welcome in this world. And I took it for granted.

Over the years, have I become a shell of what I once was? Have I lost some inadvertent, inviting warmth that allowed people to see me? Because now, no one does. The guest at the baby shower bids all three of the people next to me farewell, one by one. I know him. For ages. I spoke to him briefly, earlier. Asked him how he was and tried my hand at some small talk. But he doesn't even look at me as he makes his goodbye rounds, even though I'm right next to the others. The barista talks to my significant other while I stand there quietly. The waitress at dinner later, she checks in periodically on him, her back to me. He hadn't spoken to her any more or less than I had when ordering. The lovely stranger on the street strikes up conversation with my cousin and her husband (yes, the ones from the dream), ends it with "God bless both of you". Did I imagine my own presence, alongside them? Nodding along and smiling, taking in her sudden, zealous story as much as they were?

So, yes. Madrid might have been a dream. But my insecurity is real. And it's loud. Invisibility is a theme that I can't seem to shed from my life. I feel alienated. Detached from everything. And it hurts, a lot.

11 AM. Back to my desk. This feeling will poke through my mind while I try to stay put and work. It'll linger faintly all day, like the effect of a passerby wearing unpleasant, too-potent cologne on the hottest summer day. And when I go to bed at the end of the night, it'll penetrate, wash over me, until I fall into a restless sleep, blanketed by my loneliness.

And I'll start the next morning, invisible, again.

Work. Rest. Repeat.