#and we sort of ironed things out. he's a good egg I think

[kitthenameless]

It's Omeluum time! And by that I mean, let's talk about some of the things many people don't seem to know about Omeluum and some of the things that commonly come up when people compare it to the Emperor.

(As far as I know, Om exclusively uses it/its, so that's what I'll use.)

One way in which the two illithids differ is that the Emperor doesn't have the same choices or opportunities as Omeluum to escape elder brains. He's a lot more at risk of being controlled again. Om just happened to be lucky enough to be born with magic that helped it.

Omeluum then worked with a lich. The Emperor eats criminals, and though we can't be sure that's all he's ever eaten, there is evidence in the game to support his claim. Did Om and its lich friend try to stick to criminals? We don't know. But even if they did, that still makes Om equal with the Emperor in that regard. And if they didn't, well, if Om felt like it couldn't stop the lich, maybe it figured this was at least less waste. Or maybe it didn't care either way. The point being, I wouldn't call this any more ethical than what the Emperor has been doing. (I'm not arguing about the ethics of eating brains in general, just that Om's choice is not ethically better than the Emperor's.)

After it tells you about that, Omeluum then ominously says it now eats people who "act against the Society's goals." It even pauses to carefully consider its words, and the words it chooses leave a lot of leeway and room for interpretation. (Such an underrated line and delivery. I love it.) Technically YOU are acting against the Society's goals if you refuse to give the gith egg to Esther, since it's the Society that wants the egg.

Omeluum sees itself as part of illithid-kind in a way the Emperor doesn't, using terms like "we" and "our" when talking about them, even referring to illithids as its ancestors after you tell it about the nautiloid.

Omeluum seems detached and more curious than anything about your problem and the whole situation, at least when you first meet it. But that's speculation, I can't say for sure what it's feeling.

It does however eventually realize that this brain taking over would be a bad thing for the entire plane. Which is in part why it is willing to die in order to save the Duke in the Iron Throne. This makes sense from a ruthlessly pragmatic standpoint---the Duke's life is more important for the city---and pragmatism is a very mind flayer thing (though I still can't imagine a typical mind flayer enthralled to a brain would think another race's life is worth more than its own). Omeluum is willing to risk or sacrifice in some scenarios to achieve its goals. The Emperor is also willing to risk his life in some scenarios to achieve his goals, like going with you directly into battle to fight the brain. Neither wants the Grand Design to actually happen.

And that ring it gives you (or rather makes you pay it for in some form, unless you persuade it otherwise)? It lied about that. But it did so for what it felt was a good reason, just like how the Emperor withholds info and lets you discover some things for yourself, in order to not overwhelm you and make you lose hope.

Ultimately, Omeluum gives you some elixirs or whatever if you save it and then gets out of town and lets someone else deal with the nether brain problem. Om is a scientist, not a fighter. Just like the Emperor is not a scientist and hence isn't trying to create a brain substitute the way Om is. They each have their strengths.

Last but not least (actually it is sort of least), Omeluum won't trade with you unless you do its quest first, which I find more annoying than anything the Emperor does 😅 And it doesn't give you the aforementioned reward until you help it in Act 3. Which wouldn't normally be a valid argument, but people say the Emperor is evil because he won't help you unless you help him. Well, Omeluum won't either.

But I did laugh at these few lines I found, though I'm not entirely sure it was being funny on purpose.

And we don't really know anything about Omeluum beyond that.

Anyway, my point is only that the constant comparison between it and the Emperor with the conclusion that "Omeluum = Good Mind Flayer, Emperor = Bad Mind Flayer" doesn't hold up in any meaningful way and lacks nuance, especially when there's so much misinformation. (If I've gotten any facts wrong, feel free to let me know, I don't want to add to the misinformation.) Neither one is a typical mind flayer, and we can love them both!

[starberry-cupcake]

We are done with book 1, folks!!!

previously, in gideon the ninth

this happened

also, I was proven right about dulcinea (kind of)

just pointing that out again

final update of this book, it's gonna be a bit of a long one, folks (gideon, from inside my mind, where she is now living rent-free: "that's what she said!"):

we left off in the fight against not!dulcinea

yandere simulator twin w/inner chad was being used as a battery pad

regina george twin is at an unknown location

la gideon and my qp wife are fighting

harrowcita passed out

so basically not!dulcinea unlocks the big magnus archives entity monster harrowbean had previously locked

harrow wakes up to make a bone dome

for scale, this is the dome and mickey is gideon, but she's inside the thing

magnus archives junji ito monster keeps beating the dome from outside to crack it open like an egg

harrowbean starts to disintegrate from the inside because it's hard to make a bone spaceship earth and keep it up

camilla is accepting fate at this point, my poor beloved qp wife

but la gideon is not gonna give up

she's never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

never gonna...

so harrow starts making a goodbye speech

reminding gideon to take care of the ninth and the barbie in the freezer

for the barbie reference, please go to this recap

but gideon is determined to come up with a plan

*very niche reference but "bien warrior" by miss bolivia plays in the background*

we all know this is a terrible idea because gideon's plans are always "punch really hard" and, in this case, that's a wild thing to do

but she does that

a metal version of that

she decides to, if I understand correctly (because description is scarce for various acceptable reasons) impale herself on the iron spikes inside the dome, to force Harrow to slurp her soul

so this is the situation

absolutely heartbreaking stuff

she's sort of ghost-placing herself behind Harrow to guide her using the sword

like this

and being all silly and gideon-esque and harrow is heartbroken and sad and it's all very very heartbreaking and I'm suffering

I'm ANGRY, OK????

IT'S NOT FAIR

I didn't even like gideon at the start

I complained about her for like a good first chunk of this book

I got mad at her for being dense and not following through with things

I got angry at her way of approaching situations and trusting people I didn't trust

I didn't totally vibe with her vibe most times

and then she made me like her and grow attached and NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER???

what's the point????? you make me like you and then you SACRIFICE YOURSELF?????

WHY??????

footage of me

anyway, it's fine, we're fine, everything's FINE

harrow and force-ghost gideon defeat not!dulcinea by aiming at the "issue" palmolive started

( @lady-harrowhark "paramedics" is actually a much better nickname, why didn't I think of that)

not!dulcinea crosses the veil, hopefully forever, good riddance bitch, you really did fuck everything up for petty reasons

harrow passes out

afterwards, harrow wakes up in like a sort of hospital situation or something like that

the space version of that

there's a man reading stuff in a tablet and a paper

a "flimsy", which I didn't know was something before this book (again, not a native English speaker, doing my best here)

the man has very specific eyes which I imagined in a way that I'm not sure is what it's supposed to be, but I'm gonna keep my version for now

this is the man of the hour, the emperor, many other titles I can't remember, the reason we all got together in the first place

harrow is upset, I'm upset, we're all upset

emperor sama over here can't do shit about it

according to him

which, what are you, the wizard of oz?

he's also like "forgive not!dulcinea, it was my bad" I WILL FORGIVE NOTHING

he says he can't bring gideon back without risking harrowbean as well

very limited for a man who claims to be god

who seems to have beef with a barbie in an ice cube

idk about this guy

so he tells harrow that he's gonna protect the ninth if she becomes lyctor because the universe is going to shit and he can't handle everything on his own anymore

you know what could have helped, my man? COMMUNICATION

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT ANY GIVEN POINT

anyway, harrow is, at this point, tired and sad and grieving for everything so she says ok

according to this guy, the only other survivor is yandere simulator twin w/inner chad who is missing an arm

very convenient for him, who needs lyctors

an didn't, at any point, explain anything

but they "haven't been able" to find the bodies of: la gideon, my wife and regina george twin

everyone else was, at least, partially recovered, as far as I remember he said

they're probably gathering pieces of palmolive from every carpet and piece of wallpaper

I am reluctantly gonna miss that guy

so there is hope that I'm not a qp widow yet and that la gideon might come back in some capacity, which I MEAN, COME ON

also, I don't know if people would be making such a fuss about her arms if her body wasn't of consequence anymore

because I don't know much about these books but I did know that coming in, that and skull make up were my two clues

and we still don't know where she came from and if she's a demigod

and why her hair and eyes are that color

I don't know, I'm unsure about this

I hold hope

keeeeeeep hoooooolding ooooooon ♪

I am sure regina george twin will be back because people have been cryptic about her in replies to my updates

and I hope camilla comes back because right now I'm like a victorian wife, standing at a lighthouse, waiting for her sailor to come back from the depths of the sea, throwing messages in bottles

final extra notes:

THERE WAS A GLOSSARY ALL ALONG

I COULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT

maybe it was better this way, though, but WHY DIDN'T I LOOK PROPERLY

PALMOLIVE WOULD KILL ME FOR THIS OVERSIGHT

now I know what thanergy is, what thalergy is, what bone magic and flesh magic differ in, can you believe???

I can summon my own construct and everything

it's the only way to make friends as an adult, after all

there is a guide for the names and I have been pronouncing more things right than I thought because many of these are based in Latin and I'm a Spanish speaker so maybe if I had just pronounced them as they sounded to me I could have remembered more names

there is also a list of salseo/tea from judith

I kept making comments while reading them

she was acting like camilla was of no consequence from the start

ALSO PROTOZOA HAD KIDS?????? WHAT????

man, poor dude, rip this guy we never really knew

she did read chad for filth, which is correct

but they were off about absolutely everything else

important ending commentary of the book:

as an ending side note

I'm going to just point this out, with kindness and utmost respect

like, much love and respect and warm regards

don't kill me for this

as an editor

I am enraged with the tagline they have in the cover of this book, now that I've finished it

the quote that's in the cover about lesbian necromancers in a victorian mansion in space and whatnot

it sells the book incredibly short and also tells you things you shouldn't be told because a) they aren't as clear cut as they make them out to be and b) you should be told none of that entering this book

best experience is to know absolutely nothing

like gideon

and since I have an ebook, I see that quote more prominently than any blurb

it reads like the short summary of a fic and it doesn't do it justice one bit

now that I've finished the book, I think this post was about it and I didn't know at the time, because that's fair

this book is very difficult to categorize because it seems to be using a lot of different references and mixing them together in a very personal and unique way to the author

but, because of that, it's a very unique take on different things

I think it stands very aligned with both core classics and more contemporary foundations, at the same time

and the narrative point of view is a bit at-odds with the complexity of the lore, which makes it a very brave first part of a bigger thing for an author to throw out there

and it works, as it is

it actually works well like that

however, as difficult as it can be to explain it, that tagline really flattens it to something that I don't think favors how much more of that it is???

I don't know, that's just my personal & professional opinion, but anyway

I need to go find the next one

you haven't seen the last of me!!!!!

[steviewashere]

We need to make Steve Harrington less like cardboard. I am going to ramble, please bear with me. Listen if you want.

He had weird jock habits before. Wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn, goes on a three mile jog, lifts weights in his bedroom. Eats his "normal" breakfast which is like crazy: like four eggs, six pieces of bacon, some raspberries, maybe carrots, a full glass of milk, black coffee, four pieces of toast. He's gotta keep his energy up, y'know. Goes to school with a huge fucking backpack, a gallon sized jug of water, he carries around all of his textbooks because it's like a mini workout for him. Sometimes in lulls of classes or between periods, you'll find him talking to his group of friends, but he's actively stretching/doing yoga—his friends don't even acknowledge it because it just always happens. He eats the exact same lunch everyday: rice, chicken, broccoli, a banana, and a milk from the school. (Dude would love milk. Trust.) He'll do like two more workouts in his day: once in gym, and then whatever sport practice he has (basketball in the winter, swim in the spring, maybe a bit of football/soccer and baseball right before summer hits).

His music taste isn't crazy eclectic, but it's still tasteful. He loves Queen, loves Bruce Springsteen, loves TOTO. He's into the radio hits rock (which is classic now), but his favorite song (so I've heard in relation to the show) is "Hammer To Fall" by Queen—a song that wasn't widely popular on the radio. Yeah, he also likes Elvis; can make a reference when he needs to. But he does enjoy music. And, sure, yeah—he does like pop music; maybe that does include Madonna. And—listen to me—my stepdad, a guy who loves punk and metal and shit like that, he loves Madonna and Wham and George Michael on his own; because that's what was on the radio, he even owned some of these artists albums; it's not that strange for somebody like Steve to also like these artists. Though, they may not be his immediate go-to.

He takes good care of himself; appearance wise. His hairspray is Farrah Fawcett, but it's a product he picked up most likely from his mother. He styles it on his own, right after he works out in the morning. He probably knows how to iron his clothes; considering he wears things like chinos and polos, those things need to look nice and crisp for the babes (and non-babes alike). I wouldn't be surprised if he has a signature scent—like maybe...Calvin Klein's Obsession? Considering his family's tax bracket (that house is insane), he'd probably use high-end salon level hair products. He's using name brand detergents on his clothes.

And, yeah, I'm not sure if he's still living with his parents post season 3, but I think it's safe to maybe assume so—I feel like his parents are more caring about their only son than we give them credit for; his mom seems like a caring mother, as evident with the call she shares with Karen Wheeler, it seems like she'd usually be somebody to know Steve's whereabouts, that sort of thing. His dad is probably the most strict of his parents and has high expectations that Steve fails to meet. Because the high expectations are high. And maybe Steve didn't care too much about school, maybe enough to pass and still make all the teams he wants, but not enough to get him a scholarship. And, honestly, he was probably not a top-tier athlete at Hawkins High; maybe great, but not pristine. Hence why he had to actually try to make it into college, his entry wasn't guaranteed. And when he got rejection letters, probably including rejections for scholarships, his parents most likely denied to pay for him to go through schooling. And if he really wanted to go, he'd have to take out loans or something.

He probably gets Sports Illustrated and Rolling Stone magazines in his mailbox. He smokes Marlboros, the high-end cigarette. He keeps his pantry stocked with name brand snacks; Pringles, for example. Probably tries to cater to those around him, as that's what he saw his parents do for guests. He's not a terribly selfish person at all, despite having douchebag attached to his name. He probably was very flippant about the way he cared about things, he laughed at bad jokes, and snarked his way through Hawkins High. He very rarely threatened violence—my guess, considering he's a shit fist fighter.

The way his parents' marriage is going probably affects his view on love, too. He wants something better than what his parents offer to each other. He wants a true love, fairytale sort of thing. Steve probably thinks that he'll sense some amount of clarity with whoever he gets along with. He's probably a big dreamer. Probably lonely. Wants six kids, a wide and sprawling family because then, at least, he'll have people to always take care of (to prove he is not his parents), and people who (hopefully) will always care about him. He wants a lot with whoever he falls in love with (Nancy or somebody else). But not a lot in material terms; he wants a lot of love, he wants warmth, he wants constant and sweet attention. He wants love. Not whatever bullshit his parents had; and he tries really hard to not be that bullshit, but knows he still fails anyway. He doesn't want quick things, despite constantly dating or hooking up, he wants something to last—though, nothing lasts. That's why he probably leans a lot on Robin, she has a sort of platonic love to him that he shares for her; that platonic love is probably the first time he felt like he had something to cling onto because it wasn't going to just leave or find fault. He didn't lose with Robin because they just got each other in a way he doesn't know how to replicate with anybody else.

With work, he's not sure what he wants. He wants something that keeps his interest, but nothing really has. He seems really in tune with sports, history, and literature—as there have been several attempts of his to make connections to these topics showcased on screen. (Although, admittedly, those references kind of fall short.) He doesn't enjoy work like Family Video, but he finds it easy enough that it becomes a mechanical, mundane task that he can complete without thought. I think, also, due to his interest in sports, he most likely has a vague interest in statistics or math—I think he's accidentally really good with math, but refuses to acknowledge that because he hated math in school. But he has a knack for it, no matter how hard he denies. He's probably also wicked good at working on cars. His Beemer has been through a lot and I think he doesn't trust anybody else to work on his car, so he learns to do it himself, and with the guidance of his dad.

Despite complaining about being the party's babysitter, he quite likes it. Likes being the nurturing older brother that he never had. I feel like he'd maybe get a little bit insecure about it from time to time, though. Maybe he'd feel like he's not doing enough for them to consider him that way. Maybe he'd feel like he's doing too much and forcing his way into their lives. I think, if Max's letter ever comes up again, he'd let those insecurities fall away—I truly feel like she considers him an older brother figure, a real one, a good one. I think he'd cry over it, honestly.

I think he does cry quite a bit. Just not around other people. So it seems like he's sort of constipated in his emotions. But, realistically, he doesn't allow himself that chance to crack until he's in the safety of his bedroom. Because, honestly, I feel like despite the "ugliness" to his oddball room, he finds a sort of sanctuary in it. That's where his things are. That's where his smell is. That's his safe space.

And on the topic of his room, I think he definitely helped pick out 90% of the stuff he has. His wallpaper and curtains match because he looked inside the catalog his mom presented to him one day, and he likes things to match—so that's what he picked. (His mom bit back a sigh and tried to keep her expression neutral. She thinks it was an awful pick, but whatever her baby wants.) His dad sometimes takes him on day trips, and once when he was a kid (maybe middle school age, maybe even as a freshman), they went into some interior decorating store or something and he saw the car picture and knew he had to have it, so his dad bought it. (It jumpstarted one of a few interests they share: Cars.) The bedding was his choice. The mattress and bed frame were not. Everything else in his room was his pick. The bowling pin came from a birthday party when he was a kid, he won it at the prize counter in the little arcade area of their local bowling alley.

He's friends with whoever will spare him the attention he craves. Whoever will laugh at his jokes. Whoever will agree with the stupid shit he wants to do. Whoever will chant as he shotguns another beer.

He drinks and smokes because of Tommy. Steve and his dad had a big argument or something before his dad left for some business conference. So Tommy says they should get into his dad's alcohol and find somebody to sell them cigarettes as a way to rebel. Steve thinks he's being soooo cool (he's being lame). Next thing he knows, he's got a cigarette craving and knows how to shotgun a beer a little too well.

The pocket knife he uses on the beer cans is a gift he got from his dad, probably. One that he received as a birthday present for his 15th or something. His dad probably said something stupid like, "Every man needs a good knife. Never know when you'll need one." It's got Steve's initials carved into it and everything. In hindsight, it's pretty cool and it's custom to him—it's one of the only significant and caring gifts his dad ever gave him.

He doesn't cook like amazingly, but well enough that he could survive living on his own in an apartment. He likes spaghetti bolognese. And macaroni and cheese. He knows how to make a fire meatloaf. Could probably perfect rice and chicken in a heartbeat. But he does sort of rotate the same meals over and over because he procrastinates learning new things sometimes.

He's not stupid, he just takes a little longer to process all the information he's given. And on top of that, he needs the opportunity to ask questions so he can fully understand. He only feels stupid when he's denied the chance. And denied the opportunity to explain or connect. (Connecting like you would when taking margin notes in an article—Cornell style if you know what I mean. Like maybe some of the text reminds you of something in your real life, so you understand the text better by making that connection. That's how Steve connects to things.) So, yeah, I think he's probably a little bruised whenever somebody—yes, even his close buddy Dustin—walks all over him and treats him like a child when it comes to things unknown to him; especially shit that's D&D or Upside Down related, he doesn't know what's happening, but he'd like to know.

Lastly, and then I'll stop talking in your face, I think he would have the most off-putting, morbid sense of humor after surviving the Upside Down. Like sometimes he makes too strong eye contact and makes some crazy fucked up joke at you and then you just shut down. Like it's hard for him to get laughter sometimes because he'll just say odd shit. And then eventually, when people are done being stunned around him, they're like nervous giggling. All the while thinking, "Jesus fucking Christ, Steve. What the hell." He still feels accomplished even when the laugh is barely a sound, he laughs the hardest at his own morbid jokes. Robin, Nancy, Eddie, and even Jonathan think he needs some serious therapy; clock's ticking, might be time to get on that.

But uhhh, yeah. Steve needs to be more than a stiff board of cardboard, we need to do him justice because the duffers sure as hell won't.

[differenteagletragedy]

HI i have a domestic brainrot lately and I wanted to see your take on how the olba boys (individually) would be living with mc? either romantic or platonic is ok!

take a flower 🫴🌸

I thiiiink I've done something like this before so apologies if there are any repeats! But yes, domestic boys!!!

-- Cove is not a cleaner, not because he wants to be a messy guy, but he just doesn't think about it. Maybe just talk about a routine, a division of household responsibilities, that sort of thing and he'll be all over it.

-- Like I'm not saying to make a chore chart for him where he gets gold stars for doing his chores and after so many gold stars he can get treats like a pretzel down on the shopping street or a trip to the aquarium (that one is gonna be a lot of stars) but whatever works!

-- I def know I've said this multiple times, but Derek is Mr. Fix-It. If he doesn't know how to fix something (rare), he will figure it out and then he will know forever.

-- This is so serious, like if you end up buying a house and you mention that it might be nice to have like a sunroom or a playroom built onto the back of the house for kids or whatever, the guy is going to learn how to build a whole entire room. Putting up walls, putting down floors, other ... room stuff. It'll be a big project, obviously, but he'll get it done.

-- Imagine going outside and seeing him up on a ladder, banging a hammer against something all sweaty and concentrating hard. Or like imagine respectfully.

-- Derek is also a big time holiday guy. Tons of Christmas lights, the house is all decorated for Halloween and he's got on a costume and a wide variety of candy and treats to hand out to the kids. Your house is THE house to hit up on Halloween.

-- If you have kids and do an Easter egg hunt, Derek is going to be the king of this. Cove is gonna come over and hunt too and he's gonna be mad when he can't find them all.

-- Anyway.

-- Speaking of decorating for holidays, have you guys ever seen those little goose statues that people put outside and dress up for different occasions? Here, let me link it in case you think I'm crazy, this is a thing. You can get silly little outfits for every little holiday you can think of. You and Baxter saw one once and he joked about it, then you got one as a joke, then you got it outfits as a joke, and now no one knows if it's a joke anymore but you HAVE to make sure the goose has an appropriate outfit on.

-- Baxter also has some expensive candles. So expensive that you're kind of taken aback (they are all just wax, where does they money go), but the place DOES always smell really nice. He has seasonal ones he rotates, then some general favorites that work anytime.

-- If you try to light one of the pumpkin-y candles after December starts, he will treat you like you are actually insane.

-- Dance parties with Cove! We always talk about dancing with Baxter, but sometimes you and Cove just have a good time, putting on those songs that were popular when you were kids and being silly. This is really very cute.

-- Cove can't cook, but he goes through a phase where he tries real hard! Please be nice, but if you cannot safely eat something, then you don't have to (this is going to happen at least once or twice).

Cove: *gestures to chicken breast that is clearly pink in the middle* It's like when you go to a restaurant and order a steak rare!

You: No baby it really is not.

-- Derek is a grill guy. He has a "Kiss the Cook" apron and no one ever knows if he's wearing it ironically or not. Please kiss him anyway.

-- What if whenever you and Derek finally move in together, he goes through a stage where he doesn't really want to leave for long stretches of time because he's just so so happy to finally be living how he wants, to have told you how he felts after YEARS and to have you reciprocate those feelings? He would probably get too much energy, he's used to wearing himself out everyday, so he'd be running around the house like a puppy, just all excited.

-- That's not really anything, it's just cute, sue me if you want.

-- Living with Baxter is going to make you surprised that he survived for years on his own, that's how bad he is with mornings. Sleepy Baxter is a menace to himself and everything around him. What if you move into a house and he tells you he's going outside one morning to get the paper, and it's taking too long so you peek outside and he's just like standing out there in his pajamas, vaguely confused but also just not totally there. You're going to have to pull him back inside, it's not safe out there.

-- Derek and Baxter are both very clean, we already know that. They might like a chore chart too though, everybody likes treats!

-- Cove is going to be bringing home little presents regularly, you'll have like a little shelf just with trinkets he's found that made him think of you. Think little sea creature keychain from Step 1, like just so many little items that represent special things to you.

-- Derek is going to take care of you like you've never been taken care of in your life. Also wowee, the cuddles! Derek is a grade A cuddler, super warm and cozy.

-- It might take Baxter a little bit to get truly comfortable with living together, he's going to be scared you're going to leave or change your mind, like you'll realize that he's a mess (like you didn't already know and made it clear that you love him anyway) and be done with him. He'll get there though, please be patient!

-- And if he has to work late, please change the goose's clothes, he doesn't want the neighbors to see it in a pilgrim costume the day after Thanksgiving, how embarrassing.

[horizon-verizon]

Im not sure if you watched ep. 3, but I feel like they’re utterly destroying Rhaenys’ character. Season 1 Rhaenys I liked, but this season she is already feeling so oddly out of character. The fact they made her defend Alicent to Rhaenyra is crazy to me.

Also Rhaenyra begging Alicent for peace?? What’s that about?

And Ulf being Baelon’s son pissed me off so bad. They could’ve chosen any other of Jaeherys’ children.

This episode is why I’m boycotting the rest of this show.

Haven't watched. And I don't have the desire to, either. Wrote about Rhaenys in these posts when others talked abt her recently: #1, #2, #3. Pointed out some in-HotD character inconsistencies, I believe, in the first linked post.

Answer to your rhetorical question: It's sexism:

Male Gaze and HotD -- xenonwitch

Essentialism in Pacifist Women v Violent Men - rhaenyragendereuphoria

Alicent, rhaenicent, Fascism, and Sansa Stans -- rhaenyragendereuphoria

Why Rhaenicent is so Popular -- me/rhaenyragendereuphoria

Excuse me anon, I'm taking this opp to rant again.

I mean, yeah, this is really just the show's MO and has been from the beginning, I just think people didn't really think about the implications of some of the changes they made and what they meant about how these writers saw the project they were creating so now they're caught by surprise at the stuff here. It's kinda understandable bc you just want to enjoy stupid drama sometimes. But I felt that it would inevitably travel towards interpreting the actual book/orig story itself bc people kept using the "two canons" and "F&B is a historical document w/biased/sexist writers" even when they did read the book....which shows how they didn't actually read the book or understand what the purpose of the unreliable narrators & how they are there to get readers to try to read between the lines as best they can and not take some things (not ALL things!) at face value. The book is presenting the reader with the opp to see how susceptible they are to propaganda and we are supposed to work through a process of battling the cognitive dissonance it creates and/or see our own biases while arguing how Rhaenyra DID NOT deserve her fate (Doylistically/exegetically). How greedy and violent men have over generations assured the demise of themselves in their exclusion of women. Sounds trite to those who don't understand the implications.

Which is parse out the truth as best you can, recognize patterns or deviations/inconsistencies (& think abt why those are there) from such to do so, understand the cultural and character context to understand the likelihood of that what Septon Eustace/Mushroom/Munkun/others all tell the version of an event the way they do. And, with any literary text, look to syntax, vocabulary, the use of some figurative language, tone, the mood the language sets and for what reason? That Rhaenyra likely sat the Iron Throne when she took back KL, that can't be denied. That she was bleeding bc she was "cursed" & "rejected", bc she was so "obviously" not worthy of the throne? That's what Septon Eustace wanted you to believe, just as he wanted people to not criticize Aegon for being with a 12 year old girl by saying "she was of good status to be a paramour".

Back to how people use this fallacious argument abt 2 canons and unreliability--I felt that people would use this to then argue that HotD was actually "revealing" mysteries and hidden truths of F&B/AWoIaF, and that was proven by how people think of the 3 eggs Dreamfyre laid that became Dany's dragons. Now you got people believing that they are Syrax's depsite how F&B makes it so damn clear they aren't. And so now you got people arguing for Baelon cheating on Alyssa the same way some were arguing for Rhaenyra to not be the person GRRM wrote her to be...karma keeps receipts.

This show is a money-making, marketing project that seeks to deny the sort of sexism-commentary F&B was actually doing or willfully misunderstands it and most lore in order to make bucks off a rich world. Because people in real life do not take sexism seriously, thus they do not know or care to understand the basic "woman=human" "idea". People even take pains to deny it at the same level or close to racism. It is the oldest form of discrimination...except maybe ableism?

The sooner people realize and internalize all that, the sooner they will not be disappointed by this show and be more interrogative of it.

Me, I chitter over the slowly accruing hatred for it on Twitter.

[mariyekos]

Netflix Devil May Cry Episode 1 Thoughts.

This is essentially my live blog. For context, I haven't watched any of the recent trailers, to keep my reactions fresh!

It feels ironic that NDMC is going for more of the old aesthetic than the newer games.

I don't like the Force Edge (?) being in a museum. This defeats the purpose of it serving as the main seal.

I do really like that the White Rabbit apparently paid these people the 2.5mil for the job, goes with the White Rabbit being the one to pay Dante to find Alice in the Manga.

:| so yeah it is the Force Edge. Why is it in a museum....and not in Hell. I liked the whole idea of Sparda having to leave a piece of him behind in Hell in order to protect the Human World. When the Force Edge was in Hell, he didn't have the option of reclaiming it or ever seeing that power again without breaking the barrier. Here, though, Sparda could've easily/theoretically nabbed it at any point. Less symbolic that way. Less dramatic.

The White Rabbit: "Ironic, isn't it, that such a holy place would house the most powerful weapon of Hell" -> But not IN Hell. Because they took it out of Hell for this edgy comment. Maaaan.

Thinking about it now, this also defeats the whole point of Arkham being corrupted when he took the Force Edge to access Sparda's power, because the White Rabbit uses it with no repercussions!! Shankar has put the power not in Sparda, but the Sword here, which again just. Agh! Yes it was in the sword in DMC3 too, but there's a difference; in DMC3, the Sword Contains a Power, but in NDMC, the Sword is Powerful, if that makes sense.

Alleyway graffiti: "I'm youth, I'm joy, I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg" -> This appears to be from Peter Pan! Very fitting for the child scene.

Dante saying "Hey look, the three stooges came out to play" is fitting, I thing. Him also saying Jackpot on such a mundane kill is a little ehhh, because I like him saving it for a big moment in his brother's return in DMC3. I normally think of it as something he sort of...locked away, until Vergil got back. Because it was what they (we) used to say. Unless I'm forgetting and Dante says it all the time in DMC3 anyway. I was thinking Vergil had a line, but maybe my memory IS fuzzy. I need to replay DMC3!

Dante not hesitating at ALL when the demon shot at the woman is something I'm also hmmm about. On the one hand, Dante's really cocky, so this shows he had full confidence in himself. However, Dante also doesn't want to hurt humans, and I think it would've been great if he hesitated for a moment on this one, especially because this was a blonde woman trying to protect her child.

I've seen some griping about Dante not being able to immediately come up with a one liner, but I think the way it was integrated was really well done, actually! He's younger (even if he doesn't look it...at all) and still building his skills. He DOES come up with one in the end, and there's a certain...childish quality to him having to set himself back up and then saying one. I like it!

As a side note, the Amulets actually look broken in this show. I have not played Reboot DMC, all I know is that the amulets apparently look like the ones from that game. But in my mind, while it is good representation of there being two halves of a whole, I preferred the identical halves with the outer chain being different. The same at their core, and something that could more obviously pretend to be whole on its own, but isn't. Great symbolism for Dante and Vergil. Them being Red and Blue (Cyan) puts them more at odds, make it seem more like fate for them to be separate and fight.

OHHHH WAIT. IN THE INTRO ANALYSIS POST I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE BAT WING GUY NOT LOOKING LIKE SPARDA BUT. WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE CAVALIERE ANGELO??? At first when I saw this I was thinking "oh you're kidding me, the White Rabbit channeled Sparda's power just from the Force Edge ALREADY!?" but looking at it again, the ridges and shoulders make me think Cavaliere Angelo. I wonder: did the White Rabbit already have access to all these guys, or is he using the Force Edge to get to them?

Oh. Oh. You are KIDDING Me. "The radical left is already using this to push their agenda that America should step down from our role as, quote-unquote 'global policemen.' But as the greatest country on Earth, we have a moral responsibility to lead." while there's a fake Fox News logo in the background that says "FACT NEWS". Man. Maaan. How unsubtle, Shankar :) (that is me being facetious I am not smiling.)

Also then you have the guy with the southern accent and missing tooth being the one to point out there are demons coming from Hell. Nothing like kicking southerners too, huh?

Moving on from the things that make me really mad, okay so Glasses Guy is VP, and he really has the red, white, and blue thing going on. Hello America. Remember when Dante and Vergil were supposed to be British (despite the fact that they had US American VAs)? I'm not really upset about this, just pointing it out. If the president is the guy on the left like I assume, that'll be funny. Great look going on. But back to VP, he has gloves on too, which is immediately suspicious.

As a reminder from my original analysis of the intro, there's a scene where the White Rabbit (WR) transitions into the VP with a glasses flare. The WR wears white gloves, while the VP has black, but would be interesting if they were one and the same... What color are the VP's eyes I wonder? WR's are orange. They could just be associated. But anyway VP supports the idea that there are demons sooooo

Per scientist, "demons [...] are a related but separate evolutionary branch from Homo sapiens." So is this how Dante and Vergil managed to exist? Do demons have the same number of chromosomes, lol. I think this uses the DMC3 Manga lore that the Human World and Demon World were once one. "They are natives of another universe, one that exists parallel to our own." Over a picture of a bipedal bug demon. Not Sparda, but a bug.

Interesting image. They're dissecting a demon while it's alive. Are they doing that so it doesn't disappear, or because they can't kill it?

"My current hypothesis is that one of our common ancestors found their way into this other universe-" [over a picture of humans worshiping a giant three headed snake with wings, chimera style for body] "-where they adapted and became stronger, able to survive the more hostile environment." -> If this is canon to the NDMC universe, it sure isn't canon to my heart, and probably the DMC series.

I will say I'm regarding every piece of information in this show as non-canon unless later used in the games or novelization by other DMC folks. This is its own universe with its own rules. I will enjoy it and then move on.

Back to the common ancestor thing, I could say "okay" to that, but I HC that the Demon World's environment straight up kills humans, and also there wouldn't be much edible food there, so humans would not survive long enough to procreate and evolve. The phrasing sort of makes it seems like demons came from Homo sapiens, but I'm going to read it as demons having branched out before humans reached Homo sapiens, to allow more adaptation time.

These two circles split from each other, very similar to the ones in the intro. Did the mitosis / telophase into cytokinesis split.

"We've discovered an interdimensional rift that acts as a bridge between the two universes. However, it has been blocked for millennia by a field of quantum interference." Then he goes on about how natural disruptions create portals, and the stars shift over to the human side of the diagram. Explains it allows lesser demons through, but the portals are too unstable to accommodate larger/stronger demons

Wait this guy looks rad. I like this design!! But it's probably too complex for the animators to animate, hence why we get the bootleg ninja turtle demons in the clip I DID watch.

Dark Realm Command is one of the things we see in the intro. I thought Glasses Guy was with it. Is VP the secret head of DARKCOM? Was I misattributing something? Oh nope, the VP admits to partially funding it like 3 seconds later. The dangers of commenting on something second by second.

The WR invites them to find the hunter. Don't tell me the government is going to try to hire Dante. I already don't like the government being so involved in this (I prefer smaller scales, or the government turning a blind eye to things) but okay. We'll see.

The VP wants every demon hunter that can be found brought to him. We already had the Plasma Baby grab at Dante's necklace. Is he doing this for the necklace? Amulet. And man his eyes reeeeally look like they could be orange behind those glasses. Big theory is that he IS the White Rabbit.

LUCIA!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCEPT WITH LIGHTER SKIN (SAD)!?!!?!?!??????????????? WHAAAAAT DID THEY GO TO VIE DE MARLI TOO OR IS SHE ON THE MAINLAND.

Freddi's is Fredy, that's funny. Was it always Fredy?

Aw Cindy doesn't have roller skates. Is cute that Dante's timely enough for her to prepare the sundae in advance though. Also the guy next to Dante at the bar reminds me of a skinnier version of the one who likes Cindy in the OG Anime.

Dante with super speed! I do like this insane reaction time. We know he's fast, especially with some of the DMC5 scenes, but it's fun to see that in action here. He can teleport, yeah, but he's operating at a different speed than everyone else.

I really don't like that "Vergil" appears so soon. Also while he doesn't have that nasal quality of the OG VA, he does have some gravel to his voice. I feel like they didn't like that Dante had the lower voice of the two, so they reversed it here, because it's usually the bad guy with the low voice or something.

Earlier in the episode, they zoomed in on the White Rabbit having this blue gem on his ascot.

yeah that's absolutely the same gem. Why does the White Rabbit have Vergil's pendant...? Is this an AU where Vergil DID get kidnapped into Hell as a child? I CANNOT imagine Vergil giving it over willingly. No way. The amulet was way too important for that. If Vergil gave it over to the White Rabbit I'll be pissed.

I WAS RIGHT. THIS GUY *IS* ENZO!! I wonder if part of the reason they changed his design was to avoid issues with Bayonetta. He does look sleazy this way though, so it's fine either way. Gets the same idea across.

so the WR wanted Enzo to hire Dante. To distract him while everything else was going on? To have an excuse for the VP to bring Dante in bc the VP knew the demon hunters and Enzo would be brought in, and thus established a connection? Also Dante's not going by Tony! Why does Enzo know Dante's backstory? Dante should not be open about that. Did demons tell him, or is this just exposition I shouldn't think too hard about. They have to tell viewers somehow.

Okay Dante is 6'2 / 188cm! And also only 171lbs, this guy is really skinny. Jalen Brunson is 190lbs and Stephen Curry is 186, and both are also 6'2". Hm.

The resume is taking me out. Also either this isn't DMC3 manga age Dante or Dante started hunting demons at 13/14. Which I kind of dooooo HC, but that's more out of self-defense.

LOL Dante went AWOL from 5 separate jobs because he got bored. I'm going to go with those cases being not too dangerous. Dante wants to protect humans. We know he isn't really interested in taking on non-demonic jobs from the DMC3 Manga, and he DID kind of let Fortuna be destroyed in DMC4 because he was taking his sweet time having fun with Nero, so he's not always super on top of things. But I'd like to think there would be a difference between him not taking a job (where someone else can and could solve the problem) and him leaving halfway through (so whoever's involved gets hurt). Unless, of course, the job wasn't that dangerous, or there were other people on bored, in which case yeah he could leave no problem, someone else would take care of it and he wouldn't get anything worthwhile out of it anyway.

Oh hey, Dante crushed his guns!! I really like that detail, it's from the DMC1 novel. He's too hard on them. A normal human couldn't do that, but Dante's not a normal human soooo

Also the Plasma mentioned that Dante doesn't know what he is. Great! Makes me think of the Cerberus battle in DMC3: "Cerberus: You are not a human, are you? Dante: Who knows? I'm not even sure myself"

ENZO TALKING ABOUT HOW SOME DEMONS ARE TOO POWERFUL TO CROSS OVER SO THEY PROJECT THEIR CONSCIOUSNESS INTO OUR WORLD AND POSSESS THINGS. THIS TIES INTO THAT FIC I STARTED ABOUT MUNDUS KIDNAPPING THE BOYS DURING THE FIRE VIA POSSESSING A SUIT OF ARMOR AND DRAGGING THEM THROUGH THE PORTAL. Also the White Rabbit in the manga possesses the toy of Alice. And oh. Enzo says that's what the WR is on the next line. I've gotta stop doing this!

There's our crew of Agni, Rudra, Echidna, and Cavaliere Angelo.

Sparda's horns are so sad here. This looks like a hat, not horns.

Enzo says Sparda cast a spell, creating a wall between the realms. He says it was the power of the sword that let Sparda do that. With the help of a magic Amulet....which is purple. I miss when it was red. I guess they're going for equality between Dante and Vergil here, and it does make sense somewhat given Sparda's human form was purple...but his demon form has all this red to it so it would still work!!

Okay.... so each half of the amulet emits the signal to keep the worlds separate with the Force Edge being the decoder. Yeah this isn't at all how it works in DMC3. In DMC3/the actual DMC universe, the amulets open the portal, while the Force Edge maintains the barrier from the other side, sort of. I'm going short because I've got to finish this episode and do other things, but that's the gist of it. Scientist Fisher says that if you brought both halves of the amulet together and put it into the sword, the transmission would cease, there'd be no wall/interference, and the realms would merge.

Oh they straight up say at the end of the episode that the Rabbit already has one piece of the amulet. Just in case we didn't notice I guess.

And credits.

Um. Okay! These credits are so cringe but also remid me of my feeling seeing the Faust scene in DMC5 so I'm both laughing and cringing so hard, especially with the music.

WAIT THAT WASN'T THE CREDITS IT WAS DANTE PLAYING DDR (NTO ACTUALLY DDR BUT YOU GET IT) AND ACTUALLY BEING REALLY BAD. It reminds me of playing Just Dance on the Wii and being really upset because when I did the full dance, I wouldn't get good scores but if I lazily moved the Wii-mote it would give me perfects. Poor Dante.

OKAY ACTUAL CREDITS ARE A FEMALE VER OF DEVILS NEVER CRY!!!!!!!

And so ends episode 1!

I have to turn off my computer in a minute so I need to post here but. Closing thoughts in brief are I'm enjoying this so far. Some of the big picture things don't work with actual game Canon which doesn't surprise me, and some of them really miss the point of the games, but since this is a separate universe, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it. Will make a better write up later.

[zenixromeave]

aphtober day 20: parent and child

aphmau and levin try to reconnect over breakfast

Levin pulls on a stray curl, looking at the woman. The blonde strand bounces back to him. He knows his mama– Zoey– isn't blood related to him, but at least he looks like her. He feels like he was meant to be her child, even if she never even met his mother and father.

But Aphmau–

He can't see it.

Malachi calls her mom. He remembers her.

Zoey calls her his mom. She remembers her.

There are big, big eyebags under her warm eyes, and it makes him think twice about everything he's ever been. His mama told him stories, as he grew up without her, of what she was like, how selfless and wonderful she was. Is. Everyone who ever met her seemed to fall in love, and she returned their love in favor, no matter how much it took from her.

He wanted to be strong and beautiful like her, but even though she looks nothing like him, looking at her is like looking into a mirror.

She looks so tired.

He's heard she hasn't been sleeping well recently.

He's heard of the wonderful people she's lost.

He's heard of how she's never had the peace to mourn them.

The sizzling of eggs on an oiled, cast-iron pan quiets to only the popping of the oil as the heat dies, and the quick clatter of dishes and forks as Aphmau plates the two fried eggs alongside buttered and honeyed bread.

"Does Zoey still make her toast like this?" She asks, placing a decorated plate in his place on the small wooden table, and doing the same once again for herself before sitting across from him. "With the honey? She showed me to do it like this, back when we were first getting to know each other."

Levin brings the sweet bread to his mouth and takes a bite, gauging its similarity to what his mama would make for him. It seems to melt in his mouth, delicious, he nods with his mouth full. "Yeah, not as much anymore, but when we were younger she used to make me and Malachi bread like this for breakfast, too. I think she put extra sugar on it though, because she knew I liked it."

The warmest smile twitches onto Aphmau's face– a smile so genuine and loving he feels as if he's looking at something he's not supposed to: a smile for someone else. "Sweet tooth, huh? I think Zoey's always liked sweet things, too."

"I grew out of it, sort of." He takes another bite. "This is good though. Thank you, Aphmau."

He's a smart boy; he sees the wave of sadness wash over her, quick as it is, but he doesn't think that lying and calling her mom would feel quite right to either of them.

"Do you like to cook?" She hasn't taken a bite yet, more intent on conversation than hunger.

He thinks about it for a minute, trying to give her as much as he can. "Yeah, I like to give things to other people. I'm not that good at it yet, but I've been working on it, in my free time."

"I'm sure it's yummy," Aphmau smiles with a hint of a laugh. "What else do you like to do?"

He's in the middle of a bite of egg and toast, so he has a moment to think again. He likes helping people. He likes protecting people. "I don't know, um–" He chuckles awkwardly, "You're putting me on the spot. I just like to do whatever makes other people happy."

He sees it, and he knows she sees it too. The way the darkened circles under their eyes mirror each other, even if his are much lighter.

She tilts her head with a funny expression– one he isn't sure how to read. "You used to like to paint, when you were little. You'd get so messy, painting with your stubby little fingers. I kept everything you made, I hope Zoey still has it… do you still like painting?"

Levin knits his pale eyebrows together, "Ah, I don't know. I haven't done anything like that since I was a kid. We don't have many art supplies around, anyways."

With just a little bit of toast in her mouth, "Since you were a kid," she repeats with a lighthearted, mocking tone, poking at him with her fork– still skewering the white of an egg. "You're still a kid, Levin. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are." She sighs, pausing for a second. "I used to paint the back of my house, and the… old house, out in the woods. Somewhere where no one could see, so I knew I couldn't mess up, you know?" He nods, and se smiles again, "But I always showed you and Malachi. I knew you two wouldn't judge."

"I guess, but we still don't have any paints."

Aphmau lets out a humored laugh, "That's half the fun! That never stopped me, I got pretty good at making them myself." She leans forward, and Levin takes in the wonderous look in her eyes. "It's really nice; to have something all to yourself. It doesn't have to be painting, but if you want me to show you the ropes, I'd love to. It's… been a while for me, too."

"...That might be nice."

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ep.23 thoughts

[Mamaaa! Didn't Mean to Make You Cryyy!]

I guess if any episodes had to be the best episodes, it's appropriate that they be the end of the season, but god dammit, why wasn't every episode this good???

The animation, the music, the emotional weight, this episode was a real all-rounder. Even with how comparatively little action there was, it was great!

I actually feel like there's nothing for me to say, it was so good. There weren't any big reinterpretations of the source material for me to latch onto, mostly just little details like the pages crumpling under Sean's feet to convey his presence or a subtle Easter egg when Rip cut off Anno Un's arm. The coolest detail was definitely that Akira couldn't narrate the preview anymore now that we know who he is, but I get the feeling I wouldn't have noticed that if other people hadn't pointed it out first

If we're lucky, maybe that'll mean there's no recap next week...

Something this episode did help me realize, though, was that Yuki Yase's style really lends itself well to dramatic weight rather than pulse-pounding action. As we saw, the latter is still possible, but I think the thing that killed the pacing for the season as a whole was the insistence on pregnant pauses and atmospheric shots over a consistent flow of events and ideas. The dark lighting and zoomed-out shots are both pretty indicative of this, and were definitely my least favorite elements of the season. Those moments that reduced visual clarity to presumably focus on what was being said were, ironically, very distracting for me, as I always found myself trying to figure out where the cast was (though I think they were usually hiding behind Hulu's garishly huge subtitles) instead of focusing on what was being said

As near as I remember, though, this episode didn't really have moments like that, and if it did, they went by quick enough that I didn't really notice them. I remember this episode being very bright with the exception of the brief moment of sepia with Akira sitting next to his grieving mother, which was extremely poignant without the directorial style I was complaining about. If I had to guess, aside from the amazing moments of sakuga, this was the biggest reason this episode left such a good impression

I'm not really good at understanding this sort of thing, but I hope to learn at some point who was in charge of what in each episode; Yuki Yase is the director of the series as a whole, not individual episodes, so it's possible that he's not responsible for most of my gripes this past half year, but it's also possible that his overall style overshadowed everyone else's decisions, so he may well be responsible either way. I hope that someone like Totally Not Mark will cover UU down the road so I can get insight on this from someone who's good at hunting down that kind of information and comparing one bit of an artist's works to the rest. I may not like researching that kind of thing, but I do love hearing about it!

With that, we have one final episode to go. Will it be up to snuff with the last two episodes, will it miss the landing, or will it go above and beyond and convince a million people to sit through 20 episodes of recaps just to see how it gets to this point? We'll find out next week, and I can't wait!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[sekritjay]

Been the bad kind of busy for me, the kind that keeps me away from tumblr, one of the few ways I get something resembling social contact in my life for a couple of reasons

First is BG3 (thanks Moose!) - starting an honour mode playthrough but because I'd been playing with the more companions mod (for that juicy, juicy banter) it completely breaks the difficulty in half. A full party, even without Wither's Jaegering a dead body is capable of taking out bosses within a couple of rounds but honestly I feel like I'm only getting half a game if I'm only hanging around with three other degenerates.

At least with Honour Mode I do have to put in a token amount of thinking before I twin-Haste Lae'Zel and Karlach in to alphastrike Denver Gortex before he can summon Daddy in to give him a hand

Second reason I can't really be around is because on the 1st of January I took the decision to completely shut down the restaurant

It's taking me more than a month to disentangle all the legalities and administration of winding down a 40 year old business while trying to bat away all the creditors asking for money on top of doing things like redundancy payments. Only just untangled my electricity bill and I'm actully glad that's over because they wanted me to drop £8,000 to settle arrears instead of the 10% we eventually agreed upon. And somehow my gas company just shrugged and let the bill lapse instead of chasing me for it

Ironically and bafflingly, the most persistent debt chasers have been the music licence people and my credit control leasers - My bills for energy, water and redundancy payments came to just over 20k, of which I'm only really paying in full for the redundancies

For the music licence and CC lease? £300. They're sending the bailiffs over £300. I'm inclined to let them come since they'll be sending collectors to force me to hand over all the nothing that company is left with. They're certainly not legally able to come after my money and even if they were I can claim that taxes and the 'property lease' take legal precedence

My main concern however is personal. The money is... painful but ultimately all these people are after the company's money. There's a certain degree of apathy and clarity in knowing that the money men can't get me to sink any lower. No, in my case it's that fact that I've been involved in the family business in some capacity since I was 14 years old. 20-odd years, 12 in management, and six years doing 60 hours 7 days a week... and it ends with a whimper

How do I move on not knowing anything else other than this life? I don't know what I'm good at, nor where I could go. Don't know who to talk to, or what I could do next. I don't even know what weekends are for, or indeed really what else to do with all the time on my hands beause historically my time off.... wasn't

I really oughtn't put all my eggs in the Canada thing, but at the same time it's the only thing I've truly wanted in... over a decade I guess. Despite knowing it's a miniscule crumb of a chance. And I dread what would happen if it doesn't work out. Or indeed, if it does

FIrst steps is getting my unemployment benefit sorted. That'll be difficult since I was self-employed. Next would be to decide between getting a job, a career or scrape together some cash from... somewhere and go study... only I don't know what I'd like to do

Ffffffffssspspsppssss. At least tumblr is a sympathetic but disinterested ear to vent to. I honestly am clueless what to do

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

Cube joke (pinned post)

If you know me from @/growling or @/seth-burroughs then you get a krówka. Personal blog of Yomi Hellsmile, so just call me by that name. Serious physical fictionkind/holothere, I'm actually fine with treated as literal Blorbo From Your Games it makes me feel sane and slightly better than just having it ignored. Please poke me around and bombard me with questions as much as you like I thrive off of attention and require constant enrichment in my containment chamber. Just no being weirdly invasive/rude with questions like ''what is the exact mechanism of how you tried to kill your girlfriend that one time'' or otherwise not saying shit to me I know you wouldn't say to literally anyone else please I'm trying to be so nice every day

Fine with source talk / Rain Code discussion (if you're cool with me getting a bit weird about it), fine with all sourcemates if you are respectful/nice in turn, I don't have anything against doubles and I'm waving at you same hat style but I'll probably just nonjudgmentally block you for my own comfort, sorryyyy I gotta take care of my shitty heart rate.

I'm very often not good at articulating myself and a lot of things I end up writing end up kind of incomprehensible or weird, I can't really do anything about it so don't point this out unless you absolutely need to have something clarified. Sometimes I get confused and either not really get what you're saying or can't reply to you for quite some time whether because of that or my perpetual low energy, if you @'d me or sent me an ask and I don't respond within a week then I'm not purposefully ignoring you; either need to take longer time with writing, or I don't really have an answer. Don't blow up at me for asking you to clarify something in simpler terms. My tone might be off either due to those, my brain just working differently, or english not being my first language.

Other info + disclaimers/warnings:

Trans man + outherine bigender, masculine or neutral terms only - and no, "girl" is not gender neutral and I do not care if you use it that way. If you'd like to perceive me perhaps refer to me even: he/him, it/its or xe/xem/xir, and only those; do not call me by they. Also don't call me a "boy" I am a grown ass man.

Loveless aroace (and a fagdyke if you unlock my easter egg), aplatonic, afamilial, posting about those pretty often. Or I think. I'm trying.

Semiverbal MSN autistic + schizophrenic and refuses to shut up about it, which is the main reason some posts may be worded weirdly.

NPD, ASPD and AvPD, I also like talking about those. My brain's valiant mission to collect every heavily stigmatized disorder in order to craft the most fucked up individual in Poland. Follow me in order to fulfill your mutual list diversity quota /joking that was a /joke

Do not insult me as a "joke", or approach me with any sort of overly familiar playful rudeness. I kind of hate how normalized just being ~ironically~ straight up mean to people is on here. No I probably won't read your sarcasm unless I've already memorized all your speech patterns or something

Mainly into: Rain Code (lol. lmao, even), Warriors, Akuma Kun, Mouthwashing, Henry Stickmin, Changed (game), ENA: Dream BBQ, birds, cat genetics and scraping pretty rocks off of sidewalks

Plural, we are not interested in assigning roles to each other or specifying our "origin" or how it all happened as it's not currently relevant to us nor is it any of your business like why do you care. Anyway this blog is safe for endos or like, any other type of plural.

Occasional nsfw posts under the #nsft tag, which will contain a bunch of hard kinks like torture rape violence etcetera, so, block that if you don't want to see those. That's also the only tag I consistently use on this blog.

[orginllazyblog]

MATT PATT THEORY TIME LET'S GO!!!!

Spoilers of Twisted Wonderland Chapter 7 part 4, so read this once u know what's going on

Before chapter 7 began, I had heard theories of Crowly and Malleus being familiar, but that is when the Mascaque (fuck spelling) event in the JP server change.

Malleus outfit looks similar to Crowley's outfit by the feathers. Even looking closer, their hair color is similar too. The black wavy hair mix of bluish greenish hair. Some folks said about Croley being a fae of some sort by his pointy ears

From what I can say, here is that maybe Crowley is not a fae but rather a demon, but I can't say that because from all of the events so far, there has never been an Info about demons so I'm not sure if it's not canon in Twisted Wonderland or maybe the creator can't add into the Twisted Wonderland story because of Disney. Who knows, but hey it we might get a Fantasia event or not.

Another thing is Crowley counterpart: Diavolo or EQ's Crow. I say he's the Evil Queen's Crow because of the facts about Crowley, which is that he cleans the portraits of the Great Seven’s but with the Evil Queen, he cleans it multiple times. That man is a simp no cap.

But it doesn't make sense. From what I remember in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs movie, the crow was a bit scared of the Evil Queen during the potion scene and barely any screen time. Which leaves to believing Crowley might be Maleficent' crow, Diavolo. It would make sense since the sleeping beauty movie came out after the snow-white movie. Picture the scenario:

Before Crowley became the headmage of NRC, he was of a student who is enrolling NRC the time it opened , mayeb even training to become the next headmage for being on of the families who served one of the Great Seven’s, Maleficent, the Thorn Fairy. Since then, Dire Crowley, at a young age, was pushed to become the expectation of NRC headmage.

That's all I could think about Crowley backstory. It wouldn't make sense now that we got info on Malleus parents being the counterparts of Maleficent and Diavolo: Maleonoire and Revan. We get that Revan is a Duke fae and is married to Malleus mom, the princess of Briar Valley. Young Lilia said Revan was the only one who Maleonoire could depend on. A reference to when Diavolo succed in finding Aurora and informed Maleficent. They seem to be a good couple by how Maleonoire is a tomboy princess and Revan more of a gentleman. No wonder Malleus got his genetics from.

Now, the next thing is the year gap and the characteristics. Which is confusing, from what I know is from the dialogs in chapter 5:

"NRC and RSA have been having a rivalry for 100 years."

Wow! 100 years? Or maybe even thousands I can't remember well. When the group reach to the iron man's fort, they realize it was empty till the messenger fae bring the news of the leader of the owl knights and even the dawn of knight are reaching the Briar castle where Maleonoire guarding the egg.

Here comes the sad part, dragon eggs hatch by their parents' love and magic. Revan disappeared which Maleonoire had to be the only one protecting the egg, she send General Lilia and other solders to go by foot to find any missing fae soldiers and even her husband who had been missing for year or more. Once Yuu gets another dream of Maleficent story, the one scene where she managed to get Aurora to prick her finger in a spinning wheel and the three fairies found her unconscious body on the floor. The group finally made it to the castle, sneaking inside but with iron traps, so it's up to our trio group, but they need to be near Lilia or else they'll encounter the blot. Back to the story, the group only got there too late. The dawn hero and Maleonoire, being hostage with iron tools surrounding her, and the egg are in the enemy's hand. The dawn hero was about to kill the egg till Lilia managed to take it away from him, but it's not over. Maleonoire was badly killed for either protecting her allies or Young Lilia. I say Lilia for giving him her last order.

"Lilia....guide my hatchling to the right path...don't let them do what I did..."

Why these lines? Maleonoire properly didn't want Malleus to be a hot-head person like she was, wanting him to be more of his father Revan, who is more friendlier than his mother. To be different then the previous rulers of draconians who are more ruthless than kindness.

Now, back to Crowley, he does not fit with Revan's personality. We know Crowley can be a bit greedy for his vacation plans, even leaving his job to a magicless student, even lie so that he wouldn't have to do his job. If Revan was the headmage, he would give the task to someone who is more experienced and more knowledgeable. Revan wouldn't dare to lie to Maleonoire.

Revan seems to be true with his words, so what happened with him he might have met his demise.

Well, that just makes Malleus an "official Disney princess".........okay it's a joke.

But hey, that's just a theory, A GAME THEORY

Please comment on your theories, I would love to read your theories of the upcoming chapter 7, part 5

[dafukdidiwatch]

One Piece - Episode One

Yo Ho Ho yall (fuck that's cheesy lol) Well the Live Action One Piece came out a few weeks ago and I've only just started to watch it. I love One Piece. I 100% believe that One Piece is Classical Literature and Classical Story Telling. Like it will stand the test of time it is that good. And since I'm in love with the anime and watching the new series, I've decided to give like a mini review of each episode I watch.

Major Spoilers Ahead: I haven't caught up with the anime (like holy shit no I haven't) but I have rewatched the beginning seasons/arcs many many times. So this is honestly might be more of a comparison between the adaptation and the original source material. So I'm going to go over a lot of plot points of, well, everything.

Here we go!

Overview: Episode One follows Monkey D. Luffy on the start of his journey to become the King Of The Pirates on the open ocean. He faces against The Alvida Pirates and takes rescues the Cabin Boy Koby from her iron clutches. There they travel together to a nearby Marine Base to take find a map of the Grand Line, and we get the introduction of Zoro the Pirate Bounty Hunter and Nami the Thief and Catburgler. Shenanigans force the group together where they face off against Marine Captain Axe-Hand Morgan and retrieve the map together. Leaving Koby behind to follow his own dream, the trio sets off on a stolen boat and sails onto the next episode.

Initial Thoughts: I feel like I have to break up my review into so many categories because My God, they cram packed SO many things into this episode. Every minute there's anyone easter egg, another name drop, another scene where I go "Oh! It's That Part from the Anime!" I don't think it's going to be possible for me to look at it strictly on it's own merit, because a lot of what I like about it is going to be colored by the anime. Specifically what they kept, changed, and adapted to fit a live action setting. Because honestly, I'm blown away. They did an insanely good job with this series.

Plot:

I have to start with some of the plot here. Not just the overview I mean like a Deep Dive into how this is a lot of people's first introduction to One Piece.

I like how they have the first scene be the Gol D. Rodgers backstory. His death and final words, as stated in every episode, "drove countless souls to the sea." His legacy is the driving point for the show, so having it at the beginning is a great way to set up the exposition and expectation for the series. This is Pirates. Government vs Pirates. The King Of Pirates Treasure created more Pirates.

I also like how at every Pirate's Introduction we see a wanted poster fly by and cover his face. The bounties are used as a "power level" marker in a way. Higher Bounty = More Dangerous. It's a nice visual cue to show they are key players.

They also kept a lot of the iconic scenes and moments from the anime too. Nami drifting in the boat. Shanks getting beer smashed onto him by the bandits. They actually kept in some manga only moments too: Luffy stabbing himself in the eye for example and the reveal of his Gum Gum Powers. Not shown in the anime. So the Live Action series is faithful to both anime and manga.

Then the show even expands on some moments that were sort of glanced over. It actually shows Zoro being recruited for Baroque Works instead of Zoro mentioning it one that happened off screen. Which was a really cool badass visual to show rather than tell why Zoro is epic. Leave the myth/legacy/stories for Gol D. Rodgers. If the guy is on our crew, we gotta see why he's cool enough to be on the crew.

They also added in a lot of new mashups in here too. It makes since, Episode One covers about the first 5ish episodes of the anime. So you have to smash what you can when you can. Nami never interacted with Luffy or Zoro until the next island. They never were all together in a bar/tavern (which, ha, classic bar meet up). And there were new combinations of how other characters interact with each other. Morgan and Zoro never met prior to Luffy's bullshit. But damn, that was a pretty interesting interaction to just flex on their characters.

Speaking of...

Characters:

I'll get into main cast specifics afterwards, but I have to say that the show is perfect with capturing the essence of each character. No matter what actions they take or how the story changed, the show stayed true to the core of the characters. Luffy's childlike wonder went everywhere he went asking questions about everything. Zoro's sassy to everyone and honorable in battle. Nami self-reliant and sneaky and can handle her own. Morgan's self importance was shown with self-portraits. And this is for Everyone. Even the background mooks and randos. The crowd immediately going to sea as soon as Rodgers gives his Pirate Blessing for his treasure. Nothing is missed. Everything is well, exactly how and why we love these characters.

Luffy, well, I wasn't sure if I could like at first. It's the voice. I have a thing where if I know a character for a while, sometimes I can't vibe with another iteration because I am too invested in the first version. The voice was still high pitch and casual, but it just felt different. Between that and just how calm he was acting I wasn't sure if I liked Luffy. But the more I saw him the more perfect he was. He is happy, go-lucky, a gentle airy voice with a tinge of excitement. Terrible liar, a little bit more clever perhaps but still a well rounded dumbass. He's really the perfect Luffy.

Zoro was a bit of the same way too. I don't know if it was just the monotone but he was a bit like the same with Luffy. But then he opened his mouth and was just as so flipping sassy and snarky. Then we see him fight and kill a man on screen which yeah, he does that. And wow he's still super bad ass. I'm just sort of waiting to see more of his flaws in the next episode, and I'm actually surprised that Zoro had embraced the "Pirate Hunter" moniker when he couldn't give less of a shit is still serious and stoic, can't tell if he's more competent or not just yet.

A little surprise that Zoro wasn't on the crew yet. But I think they changed it so it would feel more like Zoro was willing to join rather than a "choose: join up or you'll get killed"

Nami was also as badass as I hoped. We see her on the job. On the clock. Taking one problem at a time. She would give Lupin a run for his money. Like her scoping out marines in the bar to steal the clothes, that was a brilliant move! A lot better to show the lengths she would go than just tricking some rando pirates. And we get her animosity immediately with Luffy. She really is super clever.

Shanks actually feels more parental here. Like a dedicated dad type. He felt easy going, but more in a mature adult way. He still cared for luffy in the anime don't get me wrong. But Anime Shanks absolutely laughed and teased Luffy. For example: Live Action Shanks was concerned and worried when Luffy showed his devil fruit powers for the first time. Anime Shanks was worried and called Luffy a dumbass for doing a stupid thing like eating random fruit. I get why they wanted him to be a more serious parental figure in the live action, just a bit different.

It actually is interesting because there is a distinctive change with Shanks and Buggy. Shanks as noted above went a cool older cousin to a parental figure. Buggy is cloaked in insanity and danger. He is menacing, which is important. He's the first major main antagonist. But his goofiness has been pulled back a bit and turned into crazy. He's still ruthless but it's more like Joker Crazy instead of just wacky clown. Granted he's only just introduced at the end of the show so there was no time to flesh it out. So we might have more silly wackiness coming our way. But it isn't a bad change.

Setting:

I can't believe how accurate the setting is to One Piece. Like, first they kept all of the weirdo gadgets like the Transponder Snails and those goofy looking seagulls. And yeah the CGI isn't like technically the best or detailed, but it feels like it was pulled straight from the manga.

Speaking of being pulled straight from the manga, the costumes are insane. How long did the costume department just stare into the anime and just bring it to life. Everyone's outfits are colorful, iconic, it perfectly fits the character and their designs. Same with the island, the ships, every location it just felt so real. So vibrant. It just breathes life!

And there's Violence! Honest to god Violence! In One Piece! Oh sure we have fights and battles and deaths in the show and manga. And it isn't shied away from at all. But now there's Blood. There's actual Canon Death. Point Blank from the beginning this is the Pirate Era and they are Ruthless by just killing a man off screen and forcing the wimpy boy to clean the mace. The show is not playing around.

Vibes: It's weird to say but overall, the vibes I got from the Live Action One Piece is the same as a Bollywood Movie. Bollywood is Big, Bombastic. It's silly and exaggerated but open and honest with everything. No matter how crazy or ludicrous it is, it's played straight in the movie. There is no lampshading or "jk" moments. The story is earnest in what it's doing.

That vibe 100% fits perfectly with the One Piece World. EVERYONE is a weirdo! That's the point of how the characters are introduced or treated or act. If they were written as weird, then they are more memorable by the audience. Not only that but everything is played straight no matter how goofy it is. Luffy's Rubber Devil Fruit is a useful power to have! He also can stretch his face and dodge like a 1920s cartoon. It's weird but it works. Mr. 7 and Buggy the Clown are dressed like madmen crazy people. But they are still set up as dangerous. Their villainy is still threatening no matter what the getup is. And it works because the show doesn't make fun of them for it. It isn't trying to wink at the camera and go "Take a look at this clown boy am I right?". We aren't taken out of that immersion of the world to mock the characters regardless of how ridiculous they are.

But importantly, it captures the central themes of One Piece: Adventure, Freedom, Dreams. The show doesn't try to tone down these things, it embellishes it. It is honest with the determination of the cast, their dreams and plans. I keep coming back to the word earnest because it fits so well with One Piece and Bollywood. No matter what happens, they both keep the sincerity of these themes and that's why it works. It is faithful not just in storytelling and plot points, but in spirit too.

Overall I really need to stop gushing over this one episode lol. Because it was just ONE Episode. I still have 7 more to go! What the Shit! This show is just already amazing. It's faithful to the source material. Faithful to the characters, the plot, the story. It puts in future plot points for the live action audience to pick up on that doesn't feel rushed or forced. It's just, a wholesome adventure story when it comes down to it. 100% 10/10 will watch everything

[masterchef901]

We're weird here, right? Yeah? Good. Let me tell you about the fucking MAGICAL narrative journey that is the CoD Zombies story. It's weird, it's jank as hell, and by the end it has me thinking seriously on the implicit meta-narrative to it. Also, the story ends like 4 separate times.

So we begin with CoD: World at War.

"Nazi Zombies", a minigame unlocked by beating the main story, where you get to feel more justified in sinking lead into a horde than possibly anywhere else in gaming, or life for that matter. Over the course of the original maps, the devs see positive fan response and put a little effort into it. We get perks, fancy technomagic laser guns and wonder-weapons, and even some characters and lore.

That lore, by the way, is "The nazis were experimenting on mysterious rocks that turned out to turn people into zombies. Then the zombies broke out. The end." Our heroes, meanwhile, are all simple as hell. A Japanese honor-obsessed samurai, a German mad scientist, a Russian whose only desire in life is vodka, and an ultra-macho rambo-esque American with an IQ only marginally higher than that of the zombies they'll be working together to slaughter. Basically, all stereotypes, but played for that over-the-top sort of comedy enough that I'll be generous and call them 'caricatures' instead. This group would eventually come to be called "Ultimis".

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Back by popular demand, is the Zombies mode, now no longer exclusive to the nazi brand of zombie, because the story's going international. This time, our heroes are going on a tour of WWII-era conspiracy theories. Ancient Vril mysticism, Shangri-La, nazi moon bases - basically the plot of Iron Sky 2. Simple, except not really, but definitely absurd in a fun, goofy way. Notably, the loading screens and advertising also framed these maps in a sort of "comic book"-y way, to help us understand the level of narrative consistency and complexity we'd be seeing here.

(Before continuing, by the way, we also have the absolute TREAT that is the map "Five". Seriously, go watch its opening cutscene, and then imagine those characters being your friendly voices for the duration of the game)

The critical thing here is that, while WaW had some "easter eggs", they were just cute little bits and bobs. "Interact with some rocks hidden around the map, play a song", stuff like that. But Black Ops easter eggs were something else entirely. Trying to explain these feels like explaining the conspiracy theories that inspired the maps. "Go stand on the floor panels to enter Eclipse mode. Then find the four wall-dials and set them to specific values. Now use the shrink ray on a specific rock, which you must then shoot around the map until it lands on the temple." Stuff like that. And even though nobody realized it until the end, they were all connected - if you do all the easter eggs leading up to it, then the Moon egg culminates in the mad scientist character taking over the zombie horde. And then you blow up the Earth.

That's right, they decide to just go flying beyond all chance of imagining this stuff was happening on the fringes of history, it was all-along the story of an apocalypse enacted by a mad scientist and his rival engineering events against him. The End. This was the BIG moment that grabbed the attention and imagination of me and others as a kid. It took Zombies from "neat" to "COOL", and, for better and worse, secured this storyline and style as the "zombies breadwinner" for several games to come.

Side note: I don't recall exactly when they did this, but at some point Treyarch's writers realized that it's maybe a bad look to have one of the playable characters be "'German scientist who helped create the Nazi Zombies", on account of, y'know, the fact that that makes him a nazi. So at some point they did that thing where they "soft-retcon" in some audio clarifying that actually while he was always a psychopath, he was only ever in it For The Science (tm) and it was actually his rival Dr. Maxis who signed his research team on with the reich.

I'm not sure if there's a term for this sort of the thing - when writers don't really retcon in the sense of overwriting previously established facts, but use "reveals" to try and overwrite the meaning of those previously established facts. Yes, technically that's what all good reveals do, but it's also obvious in times like these that there used to be a clear understanding of the lore on both the authors' and audience's parts, which the author has since decided they don't like and want to redo. "Oops, that previous evidence/event didn't count because of contrived circumstances you knew nothing about and could not possibly have guessed."

If I sound like I'm going off on a tangent, I want to be clear - firstly, this sort of practice always frustrates me, because it makes it clear that the author is readily willing to "cheat" in the game that is the communication of a narrative, and secondly because that's secretly what this whole mega-ramble is actually about.

Black Ops 2: We Care About The Lore Now

So, Treyarch wanted to do more Zombies, and they liked the vibe they had so far, so they decide to stay in the storyline that exploded earth. The characters - now a farm girl, a nerd, a hobo, and a schizophrenic guy, all American, all came off more annoying than the "comedic" take Treyarch wanted. This group would be dubbed "Victis", and not only were these characters poorly received, but the story itself would feel aimless. How do you one-up a grand master scheme and the apocalypse? What are our survivors even doing? Treyarch has our old mad scientist and his rival acting as voices in the Victis gang's collective head to try and vie for control of the zombies, and this story would ultimately culminate in one of them (based on player choices involving arcane steps punctuated by some oddly sexual ones) winning the power struggle, and either way, some type of "the world ends again", either with the mad scientist turning the world into his plaything, or (the canon ending) the rival scientist enacting some weird arcane collapse that will let him be with his daughter. Either way, we don't revisit this world again.

I specify world because the characters will return, and even in the same game, actually.

But first - in the middle of the Victis plotline we take a brief visit to Alcatraz for an unexpectedly great zombies experience that's entirely disconnected from either of the plotlines so far. I bring this up only for completeness sake, and for a point that'll hopefully become clearer later.

Anyway, we now return to our regularly scheduled zombie programming - by which I mean, a whole new experience, Origins, featuring "modernized", more tasteful renditions of our original Ultimis team. We're introduced now to a strong-but-disciplined American soldier, a now safely WWI-era not-quite-mad German Scientist, a world-weary Russian who uses alcohol to tastefully take the edge off, and a Japanese samurai warrior who's struggling with the decaying traditional idea of "honor" in a World-War 1 setting.

This "new" (yet chronologically older) variant of the team would be dubbed "Primis".

And this time the plot has them freeing the spirit of a young girl, Samantha, daughter of Science Rival Guy Dr. Maxis who we'd just seen end the world (twice) from some weird arcane trap on the battlefield "of the Great War" so she can go to a mysterious place called "Agartha". Also, the ending cutscene shows her and "Eddie" (who appears to be a child version of our playable german scientist) to be playing with dolls and action figures of the zombies and the playable characters - implying that in fact our whole storyline thus far was "just a game", and the shift of control over the zombie hordes in the first game to Edward Richtofen was in fact just "Eddie" taking his turn playing as the zombies.

It's easy to forget for those of us who've kept up with the story since this, but I cannot overstate how confusing this entire situation was to resolve from a lore perspective. Options were:

1: As implied in the cutscene, acktually "it was all just a game". The lore that players had worked hard to uncover was all, within its own canon, a game being played by children. This was wildly unpopular, but also quite possibly the authors' intended interpretation because in a very real sense, it all WAS a game, and the lore mostly WAS made-up by players out of scraps of lore they'd found.

2: Our four protagonists had acktually all met for the first time in WWI, then again incidentally wound up together again after un-developing as characters due to Magic Rock Exposure (tm) in WWII. Somehow the little girl freed in Origins and her dad whose brain got put in a drone during that process both get put back into their bodies, I guess.

3: It's all a parallel universe with its own separate continuity; the little girl and Eddie believe they're just playing games with toys when in reality they've been shipped off to copyright-safe-Heaven and "games with toys" is how they cope with the trauma of their zombie-filled lives.

BLACK OPS 3: MORE

So, Treyarch picks option 3. Makes sense, it keeps us gamers feeling like our investment was in something worthwhile and not arbitrarily patched together, while also allowing them some more narrative liberty. Easy, right?

WRONG

Rather than just roll with "We're doing zombies again in a newer, cleaner universe", they have to tie everything up ALL together. Our new plotline is that ACTHSDHALY the zombie-rocks came from a bunch of eldritch tentacle-creatures called Apothicons from super-hell. We meet Dr. Monty, who's basically like if Willy Wonka was actually secretly God who's trying to get the kids safe and sound up in heaven and the now eldritch-based zombies sealed back away.

We follow Team Primis as they go back into our first universe to harvest the souls of Team Ultimis (so, their own original souls) which will somehow allow them to go to I-can't-believe-it's-not-Heaven too. They go there, shit accidentally goes wrong when eldritch-satan breaks out, but the gang beats him up with guns and Monty is able to re-establish his perfect world.

Except, uh, he tried to delete the Primis crew while he was it it, but don't worry, that random moment in Alcatraz earlier was act[coughing fit]ally super-duper important and drinking the blood of those prisoners let out heroes survive! BUT ACTASKFHALY THIS WAS MONTY'S PLAN ALL ALONG and he teleports them back in time to fight in-

oh right so "the great war" from origins wasn't in reference to WWI, it was

actually

the site of The Great War between humanity and the apothicons, and Monty time-travels the crew back then to be the heroes of legend that set up Origins to happen, creating a time loop. Characters are, this whole time, saying "the paradox must be resolved" without ever explaining what it is.

But yeah anyway the whole ride this game leads to a big "it was all a time loop" cycle deal, and also the tone has slowly shifted from BO1 comic-style to something that feels more like an "Avengers"-style quiptacular with MORE budget, MORE stakes, MORE lore that actually isn't a good thing because the more lore they pile on the more twisted and absurd the story has to get and also it occurs to me that "going avengers" actually is kinda the natural conclusion to "being like comic books".

BLACK OPS 4: BUT WAIT THERE'S FOUR

So at this point, Treyarch and Activision in general are spending more focus on trying to figure out a new angle to Zombies, but nothing takes off. Infinity Ward's "Zombies in Spaceland" was a whiff, Cod:WW2's "reboot" of Nazi Zombies didn't stick, and their new "Chaos" storyline featuring mixed-religious lore was also met with lukewarm-to-poor response (sidenote here: now that we're in a proper era where it's common practice to ask "What if Ra punched Odin in the face while Ares watches" we really should establish a term for it, like "Mixed-Religious Combat" following the form of "Mixed Martial Arts).

SO They felt some pressure to go back once more to the cash cow what is their absolute mess of an "original" zombies story, now termed the "Aether" arc. They don't have many maps left to develop this but that doesn't stop them from opening the story again, and this time the writers have fucking HAD IT with this story so they decide it's time to fucking END it.

Here's your finale: Victis crew (the all-american team nobody liked) are back, slightly better written this time, on the map that had gone the longest without a remake (notably, in keeping with modern media practice, every zombies map from from the Ultimis-Primis plotline had been remade at least once by now), and they make a macguffin.

Then Primis Nikolai (the russian guy) uses it to wish a new, zombie-free universe into existence and sends the kids away into it.

Also he poisons and kills all of Ultimis and Primis. Then has the kids shoot him. THE ADULTS ARE ALL DEAD NOW AND THEY GOT BANISHED TO SUPERHELL WITH THEIR MULTIVERSE THE END. Nikolai gives us some lore mumbo jumbo about how the arcano-babble and the eldritch-babble had done some techno-babble that "bound the team's destiny forever to the apothicon menace", so that the only way a universe could ever be free of zombies would be for him and his friends to all die.

And the thing is, he's right. Because if you've followed this far, you're probably seeing a pattern: People like these characters, even in their worst-written moments, and Activision isn't going to just let that go unmilked. As long as there is any possible way for these characters to return, they'll be brought back and the lore is going to be held and gunpoint and forced to cook up a reason for them to be there shooting zombies. So the only possible way to let this tortured, tangled mess of a plot finally reach an actual ending is to kill its protagonists - and not just kill them, but write them off so conclusively that there's no chance of resurrection, no more alternate universes containing them, NOTHING. THEY ARE GONE. And true to the Homestuck-ass law that was inspired by this exact effect, the only way death can stick from a narrative sense is if everyone's death is either a Just end or a Heroic sacrifice to nobly ensure a better life For the Kids.

Samantha and Eddie (at this point nobody asks why Eddie even exists or what timeline these kids are from) are finally safe. The end.

COD COLD WAR THE STORY KEEPS GOING

As if to prove my point, Cold War Zombies picks up with a new set of protagonists... and an easter egg featuring the return of Samantha, now slightly more grown up, I guess, and also with superpowers? And then she flies around a bit, before finally heroically sacrificing herself out of the story for good. Eddie - now a full adult Edward Richtofen once more - is a "big reveal" in a cutscene afterwards, confirming that, in fact, there will be no peace fucking ever until every last character from this beautiful, twisted plot is gone.

EPILOGUE

And I want to be clear, it is beautiful. I wouldn't have followed it this far or spent two hours learning just how much I have to type about it if I didn't love every second of it, especially the seconds spent hating on it. I could, and probably eventually will write another essay at some point on how fucking much I love jank-ass "broken" things like this.

But for now, I hope y'all see my points here. It's this weird case you see happen every now and then where people just fall in love with their characters, and won't ever let go. Certainly doesn't help that the authors of those characters can't figure out how to write anyone else decently, but this is just one of many franchises I've seen where the unwillingness to let go of a fan-favorite leaves the plot tied in knots as it constantly has to try and present a NEW BIGGEST THREAT EVER that becomes a BIG DRAMATIC CONCLUSIVE FINALE that then needs even bigger contrivances to bring the favorites back.

It's done a fucking number on Halo's story, which is impressive because a lot of halo's core fans never even really consider that it has one. It's hard for me to talk about Halo here without thinking to myself "STOP TALKING ABOUT JOHN"

Same deal with Marvel, same with Homestuck, same deal in a lot of cases that I'm sure you're aware of too.

So as my closing thought and my reward to you for reading this far, here's some homework! What the fuck do you call these problems? What do you call it when lore starts to go sour because it's spent too long being about the same thing? What do you call it when fan demand forces writers to rethink their endings repeatedly? What do you call it when writers "cheat" their way around prior writing, re-contextualizing everything so much that it's hard to actually believe anything they say anymore and we're just left to sigh and feel odd relief when they say "Somehow Palpatine has returned" without further explanation because at least that means ONLY the ending of the original trilogy has its weight retroactively worsened?

[atopvisenyashill]

@riana-one - What is funny is that if Dany doesn't have kids, Shireen is her closest loving relative and heir.

YA EXACTLY RIGHT. I think this is a situation that is certainly tenuous (just two deeply self righteous, might makes right sorts that are also deeply unpopular throughout Westeros lmaooo that is not a great situation to find yourself in for anyone) but I also think it opens up Westeros to the possibility of absolute primogeniture.

If Dany never has kids - seems likely, especially since Stannis only has one kid, I feel it's kinda likely that the combo of him and Selyse being gay not frequently having sex + Stannis probably has some minor fertility issues (secondary fertility affects a lot more cis men than you'd think!) - I think she's going to push hard for Shireen to gain access to one of the dragons and then look through Westerosi history to see which house may still have some Targaryen blood to marry Shireen into so that their child will be able to ride a dragon as well. And as we see in her relationship with Missandei, Dany slots very well into the sweet older sister role and I think she and Shireen would be great for each other especially if Shireen is given a dragon and builds some confidence up while perhaps cooling off Dany's temper.

As for Shireen's marriage - of the houses that have some Targaryen blood, they are either super minor - Penrose & Plumm, maybe Tarth fits that as well but they only have Brienne anyway so - or aren't minor but are likely to have a combative relationship with the Iron Throne - Tyrell, potentially the Hightowers, and ya know, Renly himself and Robert's bastards - which leaves only the Martells as a house that a) hasn't attempted to fuck up Stannis and Dany specifically and b) has enough clout to be worth marrying into. Perhaps a Tyrell or Hightower is good for this too given their wealth and how important the Reach is but Trystane is right around Shireen's age.

Anyways I think what happens here is that Shireen has Jacaerys/Daeron II/Rhaegar combo reputation and relationship with her father and stepmother, in that she highly disagrees with how those crazy assholes are doing stuff and builds up her own faction that help her keep her throne once both of them die. But at the same time, Stannis loves her (in his own Stannis way) and I don't think Dany is going to actively undercut her only heir like Aegon IV or Aerys II would do especially when that heir is a sweet, sickly little girl who grows into a sweet, sickly woman who adores her. The best thing is Shireen has no real competition for the throne (except Jon but he's certainly not saying shit to her) so once she and Trystane ascend and settle in, she can start doing some wild shit like insitituing absolute primogeniture and rolling it out across the rest of Westeros, and bringing back all of Egg's reforms. And what the fuck are they gonna say to the Last Valyrian Dragon Rider huh? No? I don't think so!!

hear me out. completely loveless arranged marriage dany and stannis. mel needs danys dragons to deal with the others but stannis will not stop his "i am the king" schtick so they rule as king and queen of westeros. they have no children because dany is infertile and the only reason stannis fucks is to make children. they would burn half the kingdom alive and probably be remembered as worse than maegor. however it will be really funny

dany and stannis would be so funny. like the mirror version of alysanne and jaehaerys. hyper competent at what they’re trying to do because they just burn the shit they don’t like. what are they trying to do? no one really knows but by god are they efficient at it.

[e-6000]

•

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

IT Takes a Mob pt 4

First

previous 

Bill knew three things as he came to.

One, something squirmy just landed on his chest. Two, the apartment stunk in a way it usually didn’t. And three, for living alone, Bill’s apartment was filled with a lot of sounds that were vaguely concerning.

Primary, the cussing, and the smoke alarm.

‘Is it worth it Bill? Is waking truly worth it?’

The answer was quickly taken from his hands when as a small hand shoved itself up his nose with the sound of a happy gurgle.

“Gah-!”

Shooting up he lifted up the squealing mass into the air.

The little heathen didn’t even seem to realize how rude he had been. Kicking his little feet around and with a babble.

“Kid, first rule of my house, don’t interrupt a man’s sleep.”

“Aba ba bah..”

“You’re right, that alarm is annoying; guess we have to go yell at the nitwits.”

There was a crash from the kitchen,

~~~~

“Do I want to even know?”

“Well ah, probably not.”

What once was a small window into alleyway was now a hole in his wall.

Glancing down Bill grimaced as the dumpster continued to crackle.

“That was my good fuckin’ pan.”

“For what it’s worth, it was honestly a mistake to leave Ken to watch the stove while I fed Danny. I forgot.”

Bill wafted the towel in his hand to his old window with a scowl,

“How could you forget? Like there’s three consecutive rules throughout the safe houses and two of them are to keep Ken out of the kitchen.”

Ken ducked his head as he opened the apartment door.

Marv continued to bounce Danny, with a snort,

“Yeah, the kid has a talent man, I didn’t even know eggs could burn that fast.”

With another shake of his head Bill left to get himself ready.

~~~~~~

“So now what?”

Bill met Ken’s eyes in the mirror as he washed his face,

“Unless you’re asking about my cast iron you’re going to have to be more specific.”

He took pleasure as he watched they younger man roll his eyes.

“I meant the kid. Now what?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because we need a plan,”

Ken glared at Bill’s deadpan in the reflection.

“Don’t give me that look, as much as I like Marv we both know he ain’t exactly thinking at the moment.”

He gave a wince,

“I love Danny an’ shit but this isn’t something we can wing, you know? Need prep and fuck knows what else.”

Exiting to the hall Bill gave a snort,

“You got that right, as far as I can see it, we need to sit down and strategize, need a list of everybody on roster. Separate the names of trustworthy players from the average goon before starting to sort out who can and would take in the bugger. After that we need a rotation an-“

A cry broke out as they rounded into the living room on a frazzled Marv.

“Shhh shhh. You’re alright, shhh. Oh, great timing guys! Not it!!”

Bill barely had time to grab hold of the crying tike before Marv backed up.

“Jesus Christ what’s gotten into yo-“

The stench reached his nose.

Ken gagged and took a step back,

“Ah man, not it!”

“You-! Fine, where’s the bag with the diapers?”

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