#and we sort of ironed things out. he's a good egg I think

[e-6000]

•

[peppermintquartz]

Prompt: laundry day

Tommy does not want to wake up. It's the day he has to do Most Dreaded Chore: Laundry.

He's certain that if he does go to hell because of the whole gay thing, his punishment will be to do laundry for eternity. Sorting. Washing. Drying. Ironing. Folding. Hunting down stray socks.

Before he even runs the dryer, he will need to clean out the lint trap and then check the vent. The past week the 217 ground crew had to help with not one, not two, but three houses that caught fire because of vents clogged up with lint. Tommy is feeling a little paranoid.

Grumbling, he rolls out of bed and pulls on the very last shirt and pants combo he has left: a faded green tee with holes in the side and a pair of purple shorts from his, let's say more... exhibitionist, days.

He's trying to work out whether Evan's teal sweater should be parked under delicates or darks when the owner of the sweater enters the bedroom, armed with a tray of breakfast. It smells so good that Tommy's stomach rumbles loudly in complaint, but Tommy doesn't move. No eating until the first load is in the machine.

"Hey, you're up," Evan says brightly. He sets the tray of food on the nightstand and joins Tommy on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out how to wash this sweater," Tommy says.

Evan takes it, looks at the label, and glances around. "Honey, what is your system?"

"Darks here, lights here. Then tops, bottoms, socks and underwear." Tommy points to each pile. Then he holds up the knit sweater. "I don't know if this will shrink in the wash or not."

Evan stares at him. Then he heaves a sigh. "Okay. How have you mastered flying a chopper but don't know how to sort dirty laundry? Go. Have breakfast. I'll do this round and then I'll teach you."

"What? No, there's no need-"

"Thomas Kinard. Go eat the breakfast I cooked for you. Drink your coffee made the way you like it." Evan hauls Tommy to his feet and pushes him in the direction of the bed, smacking his ass in his tiny purple shorts for good measure. "Don't even come near this part of the room until you've finished breakfast."

Bossy Evan is very sexy in Tommy's eyes, but his hunger for actual food outvotes his libido. As he scarfs down scrambled eggs and pancakes, Evan is re-sorting the pile, muttering under his breath that he should put up a chart of care tags here and at Eddie's, this is why home economics should be mandatory for grown adults living alone, etc.

Tommy is about halfway through when Evan carts the first load off to the laundry room. Eyeing the piles left behind warily, Tommy wonders what complicated system he's going to learn.

Evan comes back. "Finish your food," he orders. But he's smiling as he says it, so clearly Tommy's lack of competence in washing his dirty clothes has not turned him off yet.

"Thank you," Tommy says, "for the food and for that." He gestures to the piles on the floor.

Evan joins him on the bed, accepting a slice of tomato from the end of Tommy's fork. "A third of those clothes are mine anyway." He chews and swallows. "Anyway, you had some concept, so it's not like I had to do it from scratch." Then, as Tommy eats the rest of his breakfast, Evan talks about reading care labels, sorting by color and fabric, and how he learned to hand wash delicates after ruining some very expensive lingerie belonging to an ex-girlfriend.

Tommy can't look away from Evan's animated face and the way he can't keep his hands still as he speaks, and he thinks, I want to keep him forever.

"Move in with me," Tommy says.

Evan stops mid-spiel. "What?"

"Move in with me," Tommy repeats. "Not... Not because you can cook or do the laundry, that's not the reason why I'm saying it. It's just. I like this. I love this. The whole bit where I wake up and I don't have to remember if you're here or at the loft, and we can steal bites from each other's meals, and I can look after you the way you look after me. And you already have my key. We can meal prep together, and I can do the dirtier chores, I can scrub the toilets and unclog the vents - don't run the dryer until I do - and maintain your Jeep, and we can fall asleep together whenever we don't have overnights."

It's a lot of words for him to say at one go, and Tommy feels himself faltering near the end. Licking his lips, Tommy swallows dryly. He reaches for Evan's slack hand.

"I love you and I want to be with you as often as possible. If you prefer to keep the loft, then it's also okay, I'm not pressuring you to-"

Evan shuts him up with a firm kiss. Then he smiles into the kiss. "Yes. I'll move in with you. My lease is almost up anyway."

Tommy exhales. Then he nudges Evan's nose with his own. "Alright. Let me drink my coffee, and I'll go check on the vent, and then you can teach me how to sort our dirty clothes."

"Okay. I'm gonna go find out what you have in your kitchen so I won't bring duplicates."

[starberry-cupcake]

We are done with book 1, folks!!!

previously, in gideon the ninth

this happened

also, I was proven right about dulcinea (kind of)

just pointing that out again

final update of this book, it's gonna be a bit of a long one, folks (gideon, from inside my mind, where she is now living rent-free: "that's what she said!"):

we left off in the fight against not!dulcinea

yandere simulator twin w/inner chad was being used as a battery pad

regina george twin is at an unknown location

la gideon and my qp wife are fighting

harrowcita passed out

so basically not!dulcinea unlocks the big magnus archives entity monster harrowbean had previously locked

harrow wakes up to make a bone dome

for scale, this is the dome and mickey is gideon, but she's inside the thing

magnus archives junji ito monster keeps beating the dome from outside to crack it open like an egg

harrowbean starts to disintegrate from the inside because it's hard to make a bone spaceship earth and keep it up

camilla is accepting fate at this point, my poor beloved qp wife

but la gideon is not gonna give up

she's never gonna give you up

never gonna let you down

never gonna...

so harrow starts making a goodbye speech

reminding gideon to take care of the ninth and the barbie in the freezer

for the barbie reference, please go to this recap

but gideon is determined to come up with a plan

*very niche reference but "bien warrior" by miss bolivia plays in the background*

we all know this is a terrible idea because gideon's plans are always "punch really hard" and, in this case, that's a wild thing to do

but she does that

a metal version of that

she decides to, if I understand correctly (because description is scarce for various acceptable reasons) impale herself on the iron spikes inside the dome, to force Harrow to slurp her soul

so this is the situation

absolutely heartbreaking stuff

she's sort of ghost-placing herself behind Harrow to guide her using the sword

like this

and being all silly and gideon-esque and harrow is heartbroken and sad and it's all very very heartbreaking and I'm suffering

I'm ANGRY, OK????

IT'S NOT FAIR

I didn't even like gideon at the start

I complained about her for like a good first chunk of this book

I got mad at her for being dense and not following through with things

I got angry at her way of approaching situations and trusting people I didn't trust

I didn't totally vibe with her vibe most times

and then she made me like her and grow attached and NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER???

what's the point????? you make me like you and then you SACRIFICE YOURSELF?????

WHY??????

footage of me

anyway, it's fine, we're fine, everything's FINE

harrow and force-ghost gideon defeat not!dulcinea by aiming at the "issue" palmolive started

( @lady-harrowhark "paramedics" is actually a much better nickname, why didn't I think of that)

not!dulcinea crosses the veil, hopefully forever, good riddance bitch, you really did fuck everything up for petty reasons

harrow passes out

afterwards, harrow wakes up in like a sort of hospital situation or something like that

the space version of that

there's a man reading stuff in a tablet and a paper

a "flimsy", which I didn't know was something before this book (again, not a native English speaker, doing my best here)

the man has very specific eyes which I imagined in a way that I'm not sure is what it's supposed to be, but I'm gonna keep my version for now

this is the man of the hour, the emperor, many other titles I can't remember, the reason we all got together in the first place

harrow is upset, I'm upset, we're all upset

emperor sama over here can't do shit about it

according to him

which, what are you, the wizard of oz?

he's also like "forgive not!dulcinea, it was my bad" I WILL FORGIVE NOTHING

he says he can't bring gideon back without risking harrowbean as well

very limited for a man who claims to be god

who seems to have beef with a barbie in an ice cube

idk about this guy

so he tells harrow that he's gonna protect the ninth if she becomes lyctor because the universe is going to shit and he can't handle everything on his own anymore

you know what could have helped, my man? COMMUNICATION

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT ANY GIVEN POINT

anyway, harrow is, at this point, tired and sad and grieving for everything so she says ok

according to this guy, the only other survivor is yandere simulator twin w/inner chad who is missing an arm

very convenient for him, who needs lyctors

an didn't, at any point, explain anything

but they "haven't been able" to find the bodies of: la gideon, my wife and regina george twin

everyone else was, at least, partially recovered, as far as I remember he said

they're probably gathering pieces of palmolive from every carpet and piece of wallpaper

I am reluctantly gonna miss that guy

so there is hope that I'm not a qp widow yet and that la gideon might come back in some capacity, which I MEAN, COME ON

also, I don't know if people would be making such a fuss about her arms if her body wasn't of consequence anymore

because I don't know much about these books but I did know that coming in, that and skull make up were my two clues

and we still don't know where she came from and if she's a demigod

and why her hair and eyes are that color

I don't know, I'm unsure about this

I hold hope

keeeeeeep hoooooolding ooooooon ♪

I am sure regina george twin will be back because people have been cryptic about her in replies to my updates

and I hope camilla comes back because right now I'm like a victorian wife, standing at a lighthouse, waiting for her sailor to come back from the depths of the sea, throwing messages in bottles

final extra notes:

THERE WAS A GLOSSARY ALL ALONG

I COULD HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT

maybe it was better this way, though, but WHY DIDN'T I LOOK PROPERLY

PALMOLIVE WOULD KILL ME FOR THIS OVERSIGHT

now I know what thanergy is, what thalergy is, what bone magic and flesh magic differ in, can you believe???

I can summon my own construct and everything

it's the only way to make friends as an adult, after all

there is a guide for the names and I have been pronouncing more things right than I thought because many of these are based in Latin and I'm a Spanish speaker so maybe if I had just pronounced them as they sounded to me I could have remembered more names

there is also a list of salseo/tea from judith

I kept making comments while reading them

she was acting like camilla was of no consequence from the start

ALSO PROTOZOA HAD KIDS?????? WHAT????

man, poor dude, rip this guy we never really knew

she did read chad for filth, which is correct

but they were off about absolutely everything else

important ending commentary of the book:

as an ending side note

I'm going to just point this out, with kindness and utmost respect

like, much love and respect and warm regards

don't kill me for this

as an editor

I am enraged with the tagline they have in the cover of this book, now that I've finished it

the quote that's in the cover about lesbian necromancers in a victorian mansion in space and whatnot

it sells the book incredibly short and also tells you things you shouldn't be told because a) they aren't as clear cut as they make them out to be and b) you should be told none of that entering this book

best experience is to know absolutely nothing

like gideon

and since I have an ebook, I see that quote more prominently than any blurb

it reads like the short summary of a fic and it doesn't do it justice one bit

now that I've finished the book, I think this post was about it and I didn't know at the time, because that's fair

this book is very difficult to categorize because it seems to be using a lot of different references and mixing them together in a very personal and unique way to the author

but, because of that, it's a very unique take on different things

I think it stands very aligned with both core classics and more contemporary foundations, at the same time

and the narrative point of view is a bit at-odds with the complexity of the lore, which makes it a very brave first part of a bigger thing for an author to throw out there

and it works, as it is

it actually works well like that

however, as difficult as it can be to explain it, that tagline really flattens it to something that I don't think favors how much more of that it is???

I don't know, that's just my personal & professional opinion, but anyway

I need to go find the next one

you haven't seen the last of me!!!!!

[steviewashere]

We need to make Steve Harrington less like cardboard. I am going to ramble, please bear with me. Listen if you want.

He had weird jock habits before. Wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn, goes on a three mile jog, lifts weights in his bedroom. Eats his "normal" breakfast which is like crazy: like four eggs, six pieces of bacon, some raspberries, maybe carrots, a full glass of milk, black coffee, four pieces of toast. He's gotta keep his energy up, y'know. Goes to school with a huge fucking backpack, a gallon sized jug of water, he carries around all of his textbooks because it's like a mini workout for him. Sometimes in lulls of classes or between periods, you'll find him talking to his group of friends, but he's actively stretching/doing yoga—his friends don't even acknowledge it because it just always happens. He eats the exact same lunch everyday: rice, chicken, broccoli, a banana, and a milk from the school. (Dude would love milk. Trust.) He'll do like two more workouts in his day: once in gym, and then whatever sport practice he has (basketball in the winter, swim in the spring, maybe a bit of football/soccer and baseball right before summer hits).

His music taste isn't crazy eclectic, but it's still tasteful. He loves Queen, loves Bruce Springsteen, loves TOTO. He's into the radio hits rock (which is classic now), but his favorite song (so I've heard in relation to the show) is "Hammer To Fall" by Queen—a song that wasn't widely popular on the radio. Yeah, he also likes Elvis; can make a reference when he needs to. But he does enjoy music. And, sure, yeah—he does like pop music; maybe that does include Madonna. And—listen to me—my stepdad, a guy who loves punk and metal and shit like that, he loves Madonna and Wham and George Michael on his own; because that's what was on the radio, he even owned some of these artists albums; it's not that strange for somebody like Steve to also like these artists. Though, they may not be his immediate go-to.

He takes good care of himself; appearance wise. His hairspray is Farrah Fawcett, but it's a product he picked up most likely from his mother. He styles it on his own, right after he works out in the morning. He probably knows how to iron his clothes; considering he wears things like chinos and polos, those things need to look nice and crisp for the babes (and non-babes alike). I wouldn't be surprised if he has a signature scent—like maybe...Calvin Klein's Obsession? Considering his family's tax bracket (that house is insane), he'd probably use high-end salon level hair products. He's using name brand detergents on his clothes.

And, yeah, I'm not sure if he's still living with his parents post season 3, but I think it's safe to maybe assume so—I feel like his parents are more caring about their only son than we give them credit for; his mom seems like a caring mother, as evident with the call she shares with Karen Wheeler, it seems like she'd usually be somebody to know Steve's whereabouts, that sort of thing. His dad is probably the most strict of his parents and has high expectations that Steve fails to meet. Because the high expectations are high. And maybe Steve didn't care too much about school, maybe enough to pass and still make all the teams he wants, but not enough to get him a scholarship. And, honestly, he was probably not a top-tier athlete at Hawkins High; maybe great, but not pristine. Hence why he had to actually try to make it into college, his entry wasn't guaranteed. And when he got rejection letters, probably including rejections for scholarships, his parents most likely denied to pay for him to go through schooling. And if he really wanted to go, he'd have to take out loans or something.

He probably gets Sports Illustrated and Rolling Stone magazines in his mailbox. He smokes Marlboros, the high-end cigarette. He keeps his pantry stocked with name brand snacks; Pringles, for example. Probably tries to cater to those around him, as that's what he saw his parents do for guests. He's not a terribly selfish person at all, despite having douchebag attached to his name. He probably was very flippant about the way he cared about things, he laughed at bad jokes, and snarked his way through Hawkins High. He very rarely threatened violence—my guess, considering he's a shit fist fighter.

The way his parents' marriage is going probably affects his view on love, too. He wants something better than what his parents offer to each other. He wants a true love, fairytale sort of thing. Steve probably thinks that he'll sense some amount of clarity with whoever he gets along with. He's probably a big dreamer. Probably lonely. Wants six kids, a wide and sprawling family because then, at least, he'll have people to always take care of (to prove he is not his parents), and people who (hopefully) will always care about him. He wants a lot with whoever he falls in love with (Nancy or somebody else). But not a lot in material terms; he wants a lot of love, he wants warmth, he wants constant and sweet attention. He wants love. Not whatever bullshit his parents had; and he tries really hard to not be that bullshit, but knows he still fails anyway. He doesn't want quick things, despite constantly dating or hooking up, he wants something to last—though, nothing lasts. That's why he probably leans a lot on Robin, she has a sort of platonic love to him that he shares for her; that platonic love is probably the first time he felt like he had something to cling onto because it wasn't going to just leave or find fault. He didn't lose with Robin because they just got each other in a way he doesn't know how to replicate with anybody else.

With work, he's not sure what he wants. He wants something that keeps his interest, but nothing really has. He seems really in tune with sports, history, and literature—as there have been several attempts of his to make connections to these topics showcased on screen. (Although, admittedly, those references kind of fall short.) He doesn't enjoy work like Family Video, but he finds it easy enough that it becomes a mechanical, mundane task that he can complete without thought. I think, also, due to his interest in sports, he most likely has a vague interest in statistics or math—I think he's accidentally really good with math, but refuses to acknowledge that because he hated math in school. But he has a knack for it, no matter how hard he denies. He's probably also wicked good at working on cars. His Beemer has been through a lot and I think he doesn't trust anybody else to work on his car, so he learns to do it himself, and with the guidance of his dad.

Despite complaining about being the party's babysitter, he quite likes it. Likes being the nurturing older brother that he never had. I feel like he'd maybe get a little bit insecure about it from time to time, though. Maybe he'd feel like he's not doing enough for them to consider him that way. Maybe he'd feel like he's doing too much and forcing his way into their lives. I think, if Max's letter ever comes up again, he'd let those insecurities fall away—I truly feel like she considers him an older brother figure, a real one, a good one. I think he'd cry over it, honestly.

I think he does cry quite a bit. Just not around other people. So it seems like he's sort of constipated in his emotions. But, realistically, he doesn't allow himself that chance to crack until he's in the safety of his bedroom. Because, honestly, I feel like despite the "ugliness" to his oddball room, he finds a sort of sanctuary in it. That's where his things are. That's where his smell is. That's his safe space.

And on the topic of his room, I think he definitely helped pick out 90% of the stuff he has. His wallpaper and curtains match because he looked inside the catalog his mom presented to him one day, and he likes things to match—so that's what he picked. (His mom bit back a sigh and tried to keep her expression neutral. She thinks it was an awful pick, but whatever her baby wants.) His dad sometimes takes him on day trips, and once when he was a kid (maybe middle school age, maybe even as a freshman), they went into some interior decorating store or something and he saw the car picture and knew he had to have it, so his dad bought it. (It jumpstarted one of a few interests they share: Cars.) The bedding was his choice. The mattress and bed frame were not. Everything else in his room was his pick. The bowling pin came from a birthday party when he was a kid, he won it at the prize counter in the little arcade area of their local bowling alley.

He's friends with whoever will spare him the attention he craves. Whoever will laugh at his jokes. Whoever will agree with the stupid shit he wants to do. Whoever will chant as he shotguns another beer.

He drinks and smokes because of Tommy. Steve and his dad had a big argument or something before his dad left for some business conference. So Tommy says they should get into his dad's alcohol and find somebody to sell them cigarettes as a way to rebel. Steve thinks he's being soooo cool (he's being lame). Next thing he knows, he's got a cigarette craving and knows how to shotgun a beer a little too well.

The pocket knife he uses on the beer cans is a gift he got from his dad, probably. One that he received as a birthday present for his 15th or something. His dad probably said something stupid like, "Every man needs a good knife. Never know when you'll need one." It's got Steve's initials carved into it and everything. In hindsight, it's pretty cool and it's custom to him—it's one of the only significant and caring gifts his dad ever gave him.

He doesn't cook like amazingly, but well enough that he could survive living on his own in an apartment. He likes spaghetti bolognese. And macaroni and cheese. He knows how to make a fire meatloaf. Could probably perfect rice and chicken in a heartbeat. But he does sort of rotate the same meals over and over because he procrastinates learning new things sometimes.

He's not stupid, he just takes a little longer to process all the information he's given. And on top of that, he needs the opportunity to ask questions so he can fully understand. He only feels stupid when he's denied the chance. And denied the opportunity to explain or connect. (Connecting like you would when taking margin notes in an article—Cornell style if you know what I mean. Like maybe some of the text reminds you of something in your real life, so you understand the text better by making that connection. That's how Steve connects to things.) So, yeah, I think he's probably a little bruised whenever somebody—yes, even his close buddy Dustin—walks all over him and treats him like a child when it comes to things unknown to him; especially shit that's D&D or Upside Down related, he doesn't know what's happening, but he'd like to know.

Lastly, and then I'll stop talking in your face, I think he would have the most off-putting, morbid sense of humor after surviving the Upside Down. Like sometimes he makes too strong eye contact and makes some crazy fucked up joke at you and then you just shut down. Like it's hard for him to get laughter sometimes because he'll just say odd shit. And then eventually, when people are done being stunned around him, they're like nervous giggling. All the while thinking, "Jesus fucking Christ, Steve. What the hell." He still feels accomplished even when the laugh is barely a sound, he laughs the hardest at his own morbid jokes. Robin, Nancy, Eddie, and even Jonathan think he needs some serious therapy; clock's ticking, might be time to get on that.

But uhhh, yeah. Steve needs to be more than a stiff board of cardboard, we need to do him justice because the duffers sure as hell won't.

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

IT Takes a Mob pt 4

First

previous 

Bill knew three things as he came to.

One, something squirmy just landed on his chest. Two, the apartment stunk in a way it usually didn’t. And three, for living alone, Bill’s apartment was filled with a lot of sounds that were vaguely concerning.

Primary, the cussing, and the smoke alarm.

‘Is it worth it Bill? Is waking truly worth it?’

The answer was quickly taken from his hands when as a small hand shoved itself up his nose with the sound of a happy gurgle.

“Gah-!”

Shooting up he lifted up the squealing mass into the air.

The little heathen didn’t even seem to realize how rude he had been. Kicking his little feet around and with a babble.

“Kid, first rule of my house, don’t interrupt a man’s sleep.”

“Aba ba bah..”

“You’re right, that alarm is annoying; guess we have to go yell at the nitwits.”

There was a crash from the kitchen,

~~~~

“Do I want to even know?”

“Well ah, probably not.”

What once was a small window into alleyway was now a hole in his wall.

Glancing down Bill grimaced as the dumpster continued to crackle.

“That was my good fuckin’ pan.”

“For what it’s worth, it was honestly a mistake to leave Ken to watch the stove while I fed Danny. I forgot.”

Bill wafted the towel in his hand to his old window with a scowl,

“How could you forget? Like there’s three consecutive rules throughout the safe houses and two of them are to keep Ken out of the kitchen.”

Ken ducked his head as he opened the apartment door.

Marv continued to bounce Danny, with a snort,

“Yeah, the kid has a talent man, I didn’t even know eggs could burn that fast.”

With another shake of his head Bill left to get himself ready.

~~~~~~

“So now what?”

Bill met Ken’s eyes in the mirror as he washed his face,

“Unless you’re asking about my cast iron you’re going to have to be more specific.”

He took pleasure as he watched they younger man roll his eyes.

“I meant the kid. Now what?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because we need a plan,”

Ken glared at Bill’s deadpan in the reflection.

“Don’t give me that look, as much as I like Marv we both know he ain’t exactly thinking at the moment.”

He gave a wince,

“I love Danny an’ shit but this isn’t something we can wing, you know? Need prep and fuck knows what else.”

Exiting to the hall Bill gave a snort,

“You got that right, as far as I can see it, we need to sit down and strategize, need a list of everybody on roster. Separate the names of trustworthy players from the average goon before starting to sort out who can and would take in the bugger. After that we need a rotation an-“

A cry broke out as they rounded into the living room on a frazzled Marv.

“Shhh shhh. You’re alright, shhh. Oh, great timing guys! Not it!!”

Bill barely had time to grab hold of the crying tike before Marv backed up.

“Jesus Christ what’s gotten into yo-“

The stench reached his nose.

Ken gagged and took a step back,

“Ah man, not it!”

“You-! Fine, where’s the bag with the diapers?”

Hoodlums:

@reinluna,@confused-moose-child,@mimilikey,@emeraudesfateandfandoms, @dolfay, @boredomfarie, @aconitewolfsbane, @withoutcontxt, @onyxlightdragon, @satanicrutialspecialist, @phoenixdemonqueen, @vixen-uchiha, @skulld3mort-1fan, @bytheoldwillowtree, @illusionwolfwriter24r8, @thewondersoflebanon, @vipower001, @autumnwulf, @alice-hazelwood, @fisticuffsatapplebees, @f4nd0m-fun, @markus209,  @dolfay, @basilf1res, @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair, @skirter01, @bun-fish, @ascetic-orange, @thegatorsgoose, @sunflowershine03, @ladythugs, @firegirl108, @glitchedchaos, @rangerhorsetug, @mimilikey, @booberrylizard, @wolfjackle,  @lehana37, @dragongoblet, @flamey-comet, @mandyne-1001, @starscreamlover, @moonfirearc, @bae-graphomaniac, @mewzaque, @wolfeyedwitch, @idfk-man10, @demon-cat-goes-woof, @undead-essence, @jaguarthecat, @scythegal, @dolfay, @boo-ghosties, @8-29pm, @alixanterm, @aria7silver, @cyber-geist, @alice-hazelwood, @littlefeather345, @terzatheunderscorerima, @raspberry-muffin

[differenteagletragedy]

HI i have a domestic brainrot lately and I wanted to see your take on how the olba boys (individually) would be living with mc? either romantic or platonic is ok!

take a flower 🫴🌸

I thiiiink I've done something like this before so apologies if there are any repeats! But yes, domestic boys!!!

-- Cove is not a cleaner, not because he wants to be a messy guy, but he just doesn't think about it. Maybe just talk about a routine, a division of household responsibilities, that sort of thing and he'll be all over it.

-- Like I'm not saying to make a chore chart for him where he gets gold stars for doing his chores and after so many gold stars he can get treats like a pretzel down on the shopping street or a trip to the aquarium (that one is gonna be a lot of stars) but whatever works!

-- I def know I've said this multiple times, but Derek is Mr. Fix-It. If he doesn't know how to fix something (rare), he will figure it out and then he will know forever.

-- This is so serious, like if you end up buying a house and you mention that it might be nice to have like a sunroom or a playroom built onto the back of the house for kids or whatever, the guy is going to learn how to build a whole entire room. Putting up walls, putting down floors, other ... room stuff. It'll be a big project, obviously, but he'll get it done.

-- Imagine going outside and seeing him up on a ladder, banging a hammer against something all sweaty and concentrating hard. Or like imagine respectfully.

-- Derek is also a big time holiday guy. Tons of Christmas lights, the house is all decorated for Halloween and he's got on a costume and a wide variety of candy and treats to hand out to the kids. Your house is THE house to hit up on Halloween.

-- If you have kids and do an Easter egg hunt, Derek is going to be the king of this. Cove is gonna come over and hunt too and he's gonna be mad when he can't find them all.

-- Anyway.

-- Speaking of decorating for holidays, have you guys ever seen those little goose statues that people put outside and dress up for different occasions? Here, let me link it in case you think I'm crazy, this is a thing. You can get silly little outfits for every little holiday you can think of. You and Baxter saw one once and he joked about it, then you got one as a joke, then you got it outfits as a joke, and now no one knows if it's a joke anymore but you HAVE to make sure the goose has an appropriate outfit on.

-- Baxter also has some expensive candles. So expensive that you're kind of taken aback (they are all just wax, where does they money go), but the place DOES always smell really nice. He has seasonal ones he rotates, then some general favorites that work anytime.

-- If you try to light one of the pumpkin-y candles after December starts, he will treat you like you are actually insane.

-- Dance parties with Cove! We always talk about dancing with Baxter, but sometimes you and Cove just have a good time, putting on those songs that were popular when you were kids and being silly. This is really very cute.

-- Cove can't cook, but he goes through a phase where he tries real hard! Please be nice, but if you cannot safely eat something, then you don't have to (this is going to happen at least once or twice).

Cove: *gestures to chicken breast that is clearly pink in the middle* It's like when you go to a restaurant and order a steak rare!

You: No baby it really is not.

-- Derek is a grill guy. He has a "Kiss the Cook" apron and no one ever knows if he's wearing it ironically or not. Please kiss him anyway.

-- What if whenever you and Derek finally move in together, he goes through a stage where he doesn't really want to leave for long stretches of time because he's just so so happy to finally be living how he wants, to have told you how he felts after YEARS and to have you reciprocate those feelings? He would probably get too much energy, he's used to wearing himself out everyday, so he'd be running around the house like a puppy, just all excited.

-- That's not really anything, it's just cute, sue me if you want.

-- Living with Baxter is going to make you surprised that he survived for years on his own, that's how bad he is with mornings. Sleepy Baxter is a menace to himself and everything around him. What if you move into a house and he tells you he's going outside one morning to get the paper, and it's taking too long so you peek outside and he's just like standing out there in his pajamas, vaguely confused but also just not totally there. You're going to have to pull him back inside, it's not safe out there.

-- Derek and Baxter are both very clean, we already know that. They might like a chore chart too though, everybody likes treats!

-- Cove is going to be bringing home little presents regularly, you'll have like a little shelf just with trinkets he's found that made him think of you. Think little sea creature keychain from Step 1, like just so many little items that represent special things to you.

-- Derek is going to take care of you like you've never been taken care of in your life. Also wowee, the cuddles! Derek is a grade A cuddler, super warm and cozy.

-- It might take Baxter a little bit to get truly comfortable with living together, he's going to be scared you're going to leave or change your mind, like you'll realize that he's a mess (like you didn't already know and made it clear that you love him anyway) and be done with him. He'll get there though, please be patient!

-- And if he has to work late, please change the goose's clothes, he doesn't want the neighbors to see it in a pilgrim costume the day after Thanksgiving, how embarrassing.

[horizon-verizon]

Im not sure if you watched ep. 3, but I feel like they’re utterly destroying Rhaenys’ character. Season 1 Rhaenys I liked, but this season she is already feeling so oddly out of character. The fact they made her defend Alicent to Rhaenyra is crazy to me.

Also Rhaenyra begging Alicent for peace?? What’s that about?

And Ulf being Baelon’s son pissed me off so bad. They could’ve chosen any other of Jaeherys’ children.

This episode is why I’m boycotting the rest of this show.

Haven't watched. And I don't have the desire to, either. Wrote about Rhaenys in these posts when others talked abt her recently: #1, #2, #3. Pointed out some in-HotD character inconsistencies, I believe, in the first linked post.

Answer to your rhetorical question: It's sexism:

Male Gaze and HotD -- xenonwitch

Essentialism in Pacifist Women v Violent Men - rhaenyragendereuphoria

Alicent, rhaenicent, Fascism, and Sansa Stans -- rhaenyragendereuphoria

Why Rhaenicent is so Popular -- me/rhaenyragendereuphoria

Excuse me anon, I'm taking this opp to rant again.

I mean, yeah, this is really just the show's MO and has been from the beginning, I just think people didn't really think about the implications of some of the changes they made and what they meant about how these writers saw the project they were creating so now they're caught by surprise at the stuff here. It's kinda understandable bc you just want to enjoy stupid drama sometimes. But I felt that it would inevitably travel towards interpreting the actual book/orig story itself bc people kept using the "two canons" and "F&B is a historical document w/biased/sexist writers" even when they did read the book....which shows how they didn't actually read the book or understand what the purpose of the unreliable narrators & how they are there to get readers to try to read between the lines as best they can and not take some things (not ALL things!) at face value. The book is presenting the reader with the opp to see how susceptible they are to propaganda and we are supposed to work through a process of battling the cognitive dissonance it creates and/or see our own biases while arguing how Rhaenyra DID NOT deserve her fate (Doylistically/exegetically). How greedy and violent men have over generations assured the demise of themselves in their exclusion of women. Sounds trite to those who don't understand the implications.

Which is parse out the truth as best you can, recognize patterns or deviations/inconsistencies (& think abt why those are there) from such to do so, understand the cultural and character context to understand the likelihood of that what Septon Eustace/Mushroom/Munkun/others all tell the version of an event the way they do. And, with any literary text, look to syntax, vocabulary, the use of some figurative language, tone, the mood the language sets and for what reason? That Rhaenyra likely sat the Iron Throne when she took back KL, that can't be denied. That she was bleeding bc she was "cursed" & "rejected", bc she was so "obviously" not worthy of the throne? That's what Septon Eustace wanted you to believe, just as he wanted people to not criticize Aegon for being with a 12 year old girl by saying "she was of good status to be a paramour".

Back to how people use this fallacious argument abt 2 canons and unreliability--I felt that people would use this to then argue that HotD was actually "revealing" mysteries and hidden truths of F&B/AWoIaF, and that was proven by how people think of the 3 eggs Dreamfyre laid that became Dany's dragons. Now you got people believing that they are Syrax's depsite how F&B makes it so damn clear they aren't. And so now you got people arguing for Baelon cheating on Alyssa the same way some were arguing for Rhaenyra to not be the person GRRM wrote her to be...karma keeps receipts.

This show is a money-making, marketing project that seeks to deny the sort of sexism-commentary F&B was actually doing or willfully misunderstands it and most lore in order to make bucks off a rich world. Because people in real life do not take sexism seriously, thus they do not know or care to understand the basic "woman=human" "idea". People even take pains to deny it at the same level or close to racism. It is the oldest form of discrimination...except maybe ableism?

The sooner people realize and internalize all that, the sooner they will not be disappointed by this show and be more interrogative of it.

Me, I chitter over the slowly accruing hatred for it on Twitter.

[zenixromeave]

aphtober day 20: parent and child

aphmau and levin try to reconnect over breakfast

Levin pulls on a stray curl, looking at the woman. The blonde strand bounces back to him. He knows his mama– Zoey– isn't blood related to him, but at least he looks like her. He feels like he was meant to be her child, even if she never even met his mother and father.

But Aphmau–

He can't see it.

Malachi calls her mom. He remembers her.

Zoey calls her his mom. She remembers her.

There are big, big eyebags under her warm eyes, and it makes him think twice about everything he's ever been. His mama told him stories, as he grew up without her, of what she was like, how selfless and wonderful she was. Is. Everyone who ever met her seemed to fall in love, and she returned their love in favor, no matter how much it took from her.

He wanted to be strong and beautiful like her, but even though she looks nothing like him, looking at her is like looking into a mirror.

She looks so tired.

He's heard she hasn't been sleeping well recently.

He's heard of the wonderful people she's lost.

He's heard of how she's never had the peace to mourn them.

The sizzling of eggs on an oiled, cast-iron pan quiets to only the popping of the oil as the heat dies, and the quick clatter of dishes and forks as Aphmau plates the two fried eggs alongside buttered and honeyed bread.

"Does Zoey still make her toast like this?" She asks, placing a decorated plate in his place on the small wooden table, and doing the same once again for herself before sitting across from him. "With the honey? She showed me to do it like this, back when we were first getting to know each other."

Levin brings the sweet bread to his mouth and takes a bite, gauging its similarity to what his mama would make for him. It seems to melt in his mouth, delicious, he nods with his mouth full. "Yeah, not as much anymore, but when we were younger she used to make me and Malachi bread like this for breakfast, too. I think she put extra sugar on it though, because she knew I liked it."

The warmest smile twitches onto Aphmau's face– a smile so genuine and loving he feels as if he's looking at something he's not supposed to: a smile for someone else. "Sweet tooth, huh? I think Zoey's always liked sweet things, too."

"I grew out of it, sort of." He takes another bite. "This is good though. Thank you, Aphmau."

He's a smart boy; he sees the wave of sadness wash over her, quick as it is, but he doesn't think that lying and calling her mom would feel quite right to either of them.

"Do you like to cook?" She hasn't taken a bite yet, more intent on conversation than hunger.

He thinks about it for a minute, trying to give her as much as he can. "Yeah, I like to give things to other people. I'm not that good at it yet, but I've been working on it, in my free time."

"I'm sure it's yummy," Aphmau smiles with a hint of a laugh. "What else do you like to do?"

He's in the middle of a bite of egg and toast, so he has a moment to think again. He likes helping people. He likes protecting people. "I don't know, um–" He chuckles awkwardly, "You're putting me on the spot. I just like to do whatever makes other people happy."

He sees it, and he knows she sees it too. The way the darkened circles under their eyes mirror each other, even if his are much lighter.

She tilts her head with a funny expression– one he isn't sure how to read. "You used to like to paint, when you were little. You'd get so messy, painting with your stubby little fingers. I kept everything you made, I hope Zoey still has it… do you still like painting?"

Levin knits his pale eyebrows together, "Ah, I don't know. I haven't done anything like that since I was a kid. We don't have many art supplies around, anyways."

With just a little bit of toast in her mouth, "Since you were a kid," she repeats with a lighthearted, mocking tone, poking at him with her fork– still skewering the white of an egg. "You're still a kid, Levin. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are." She sighs, pausing for a second. "I used to paint the back of my house, and the… old house, out in the woods. Somewhere where no one could see, so I knew I couldn't mess up, you know?" He nods, and se smiles again, "But I always showed you and Malachi. I knew you two wouldn't judge."

"I guess, but we still don't have any paints."

Aphmau lets out a humored laugh, "That's half the fun! That never stopped me, I got pretty good at making them myself." She leans forward, and Levin takes in the wonderous look in her eyes. "It's really nice; to have something all to yourself. It doesn't have to be painting, but if you want me to show you the ropes, I'd love to. It's… been a while for me, too."

"...That might be nice."

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ep.23 thoughts

[Mamaaa! Didn't Mean to Make You Cryyy!]

I guess if any episodes had to be the best episodes, it's appropriate that they be the end of the season, but god dammit, why wasn't every episode this good???

The animation, the music, the emotional weight, this episode was a real all-rounder. Even with how comparatively little action there was, it was great!

I actually feel like there's nothing for me to say, it was so good. There weren't any big reinterpretations of the source material for me to latch onto, mostly just little details like the pages crumpling under Sean's feet to convey his presence or a subtle Easter egg when Rip cut off Anno Un's arm. The coolest detail was definitely that Akira couldn't narrate the preview anymore now that we know who he is, but I get the feeling I wouldn't have noticed that if other people hadn't pointed it out first

If we're lucky, maybe that'll mean there's no recap next week...

Something this episode did help me realize, though, was that Yuki Yase's style really lends itself well to dramatic weight rather than pulse-pounding action. As we saw, the latter is still possible, but I think the thing that killed the pacing for the season as a whole was the insistence on pregnant pauses and atmospheric shots over a consistent flow of events and ideas. The dark lighting and zoomed-out shots are both pretty indicative of this, and were definitely my least favorite elements of the season. Those moments that reduced visual clarity to presumably focus on what was being said were, ironically, very distracting for me, as I always found myself trying to figure out where the cast was (though I think they were usually hiding behind Hulu's garishly huge subtitles) instead of focusing on what was being said

As near as I remember, though, this episode didn't really have moments like that, and if it did, they went by quick enough that I didn't really notice them. I remember this episode being very bright with the exception of the brief moment of sepia with Akira sitting next to his grieving mother, which was extremely poignant without the directorial style I was complaining about. If I had to guess, aside from the amazing moments of sakuga, this was the biggest reason this episode left such a good impression

I'm not really good at understanding this sort of thing, but I hope to learn at some point who was in charge of what in each episode; Yuki Yase is the director of the series as a whole, not individual episodes, so it's possible that he's not responsible for most of my gripes this past half year, but it's also possible that his overall style overshadowed everyone else's decisions, so he may well be responsible either way. I hope that someone like Totally Not Mark will cover UU down the road so I can get insight on this from someone who's good at hunting down that kind of information and comparing one bit of an artist's works to the rest. I may not like researching that kind of thing, but I do love hearing about it!

With that, we have one final episode to go. Will it be up to snuff with the last two episodes, will it miss the landing, or will it go above and beyond and convince a million people to sit through 20 episodes of recaps just to see how it gets to this point? We'll find out next week, and I can't wait!

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[sekritjay]

Been the bad kind of busy for me, the kind that keeps me away from tumblr, one of the few ways I get something resembling social contact in my life for a couple of reasons

First is BG3 (thanks Moose!) - starting an honour mode playthrough but because I'd been playing with the more companions mod (for that juicy, juicy banter) it completely breaks the difficulty in half. A full party, even without Wither's Jaegering a dead body is capable of taking out bosses within a couple of rounds but honestly I feel like I'm only getting half a game if I'm only hanging around with three other degenerates.

At least with Honour Mode I do have to put in a token amount of thinking before I twin-Haste Lae'Zel and Karlach in to alphastrike Denver Gortex before he can summon Daddy in to give him a hand

Second reason I can't really be around is because on the 1st of January I took the decision to completely shut down the restaurant

It's taking me more than a month to disentangle all the legalities and administration of winding down a 40 year old business while trying to bat away all the creditors asking for money on top of doing things like redundancy payments. Only just untangled my electricity bill and I'm actully glad that's over because they wanted me to drop £8,000 to settle arrears instead of the 10% we eventually agreed upon. And somehow my gas company just shrugged and let the bill lapse instead of chasing me for it

Ironically and bafflingly, the most persistent debt chasers have been the music licence people and my credit control leasers - My bills for energy, water and redundancy payments came to just over 20k, of which I'm only really paying in full for the redundancies

For the music licence and CC lease? £300. They're sending the bailiffs over £300. I'm inclined to let them come since they'll be sending collectors to force me to hand over all the nothing that company is left with. They're certainly not legally able to come after my money and even if they were I can claim that taxes and the 'property lease' take legal precedence

My main concern however is personal. The money is... painful but ultimately all these people are after the company's money. There's a certain degree of apathy and clarity in knowing that the money men can't get me to sink any lower. No, in my case it's that fact that I've been involved in the family business in some capacity since I was 14 years old. 20-odd years, 12 in management, and six years doing 60 hours 7 days a week... and it ends with a whimper

How do I move on not knowing anything else other than this life? I don't know what I'm good at, nor where I could go. Don't know who to talk to, or what I could do next. I don't even know what weekends are for, or indeed really what else to do with all the time on my hands beause historically my time off.... wasn't

I really oughtn't put all my eggs in the Canada thing, but at the same time it's the only thing I've truly wanted in... over a decade I guess. Despite knowing it's a miniscule crumb of a chance. And I dread what would happen if it doesn't work out. Or indeed, if it does

FIrst steps is getting my unemployment benefit sorted. That'll be difficult since I was self-employed. Next would be to decide between getting a job, a career or scrape together some cash from... somewhere and go study... only I don't know what I'd like to do

Ffffffffssspspsppssss. At least tumblr is a sympathetic but disinterested ear to vent to. I honestly am clueless what to do

[orginllazyblog]

MATT PATT THEORY TIME LET'S GO!!!!

Spoilers of Twisted Wonderland Chapter 7 part 4, so read this once u know what's going on

Before chapter 7 began, I had heard theories of Crowly and Malleus being familiar, but that is when the Mascaque (fuck spelling) event in the JP server change.

Malleus outfit looks similar to Crowley's outfit by the feathers. Even looking closer, their hair color is similar too. The black wavy hair mix of bluish greenish hair. Some folks said about Croley being a fae of some sort by his pointy ears

From what I can say, here is that maybe Crowley is not a fae but rather a demon, but I can't say that because from all of the events so far, there has never been an Info about demons so I'm not sure if it's not canon in Twisted Wonderland or maybe the creator can't add into the Twisted Wonderland story because of Disney. Who knows, but hey it we might get a Fantasia event or not.

Another thing is Crowley counterpart: Diavolo or EQ's Crow. I say he's the Evil Queen's Crow because of the facts about Crowley, which is that he cleans the portraits of the Great Seven’s but with the Evil Queen, he cleans it multiple times. That man is a simp no cap.

But it doesn't make sense. From what I remember in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs movie, the crow was a bit scared of the Evil Queen during the potion scene and barely any screen time. Which leaves to believing Crowley might be Maleficent' crow, Diavolo. It would make sense since the sleeping beauty movie came out after the snow-white movie. Picture the scenario:

Before Crowley became the headmage of NRC, he was of a student who is enrolling NRC the time it opened , mayeb even training to become the next headmage for being on of the families who served one of the Great Seven’s, Maleficent, the Thorn Fairy. Since then, Dire Crowley, at a young age, was pushed to become the expectation of NRC headmage.

That's all I could think about Crowley backstory. It wouldn't make sense now that we got info on Malleus parents being the counterparts of Maleficent and Diavolo: Maleonoire and Revan. We get that Revan is a Duke fae and is married to Malleus mom, the princess of Briar Valley. Young Lilia said Revan was the only one who Maleonoire could depend on. A reference to when Diavolo succed in finding Aurora and informed Maleficent. They seem to be a good couple by how Maleonoire is a tomboy princess and Revan more of a gentleman. No wonder Malleus got his genetics from.

Now, the next thing is the year gap and the characteristics. Which is confusing, from what I know is from the dialogs in chapter 5:

"NRC and RSA have been having a rivalry for 100 years."

Wow! 100 years? Or maybe even thousands I can't remember well. When the group reach to the iron man's fort, they realize it was empty till the messenger fae bring the news of the leader of the owl knights and even the dawn of knight are reaching the Briar castle where Maleonoire guarding the egg.

Here comes the sad part, dragon eggs hatch by their parents' love and magic. Revan disappeared which Maleonoire had to be the only one protecting the egg, she send General Lilia and other solders to go by foot to find any missing fae soldiers and even her husband who had been missing for year or more. Once Yuu gets another dream of Maleficent story, the one scene where she managed to get Aurora to prick her finger in a spinning wheel and the three fairies found her unconscious body on the floor. The group finally made it to the castle, sneaking inside but with iron traps, so it's up to our trio group, but they need to be near Lilia or else they'll encounter the blot. Back to the story, the group only got there too late. The dawn hero and Maleonoire, being hostage with iron tools surrounding her, and the egg are in the enemy's hand. The dawn hero was about to kill the egg till Lilia managed to take it away from him, but it's not over. Maleonoire was badly killed for either protecting her allies or Young Lilia. I say Lilia for giving him her last order.

"Lilia....guide my hatchling to the right path...don't let them do what I did..."

Why these lines? Maleonoire properly didn't want Malleus to be a hot-head person like she was, wanting him to be more of his father Revan, who is more friendlier than his mother. To be different then the previous rulers of draconians who are more ruthless than kindness.

Now, back to Crowley, he does not fit with Revan's personality. We know Crowley can be a bit greedy for his vacation plans, even leaving his job to a magicless student, even lie so that he wouldn't have to do his job. If Revan was the headmage, he would give the task to someone who is more experienced and more knowledgeable. Revan wouldn't dare to lie to Maleonoire.

Revan seems to be true with his words, so what happened with him he might have met his demise.

Well, that just makes Malleus an "official Disney princess".........okay it's a joke.

But hey, that's just a theory, A GAME THEORY

Please comment on your theories, I would love to read your theories of the upcoming chapter 7, part 5

[dangerously-human]

would love to hear more about

locklyle apple pie

#4 fic (pregnant lucy)

^-^/💜

Oh, yay, thanks for asking!

The apple pie fic is basically Lucy baking Lockwood a pie to celebrate their engagement. It's really quite sappy, but hopefully in a sweet way, and I think it covers quite a bit of emotional range. Here's a snippet:

When the sounds of the front door opening and a rapier being deposited in the big pot in the hall floated back to the kitchen, Holly elbowed George. George gave the pie cooling on the counter a longing look, but apparently my earlier promise was sufficient placation, because they both made themselves scarce after passing fleeting greetings to Lockwood. Holly disappeared down to the basement, pleading paperwork, and George clomped up to his room, a selection of comic books under his arm. Lockwood gave me a bemused look as he dumped goods from his errands on the kitchen table: canisters of salt, packets of iron filings, crisps, a set of shiny new flares, lightbulbs, and what looked like a few envelopes filled with seeds. I raised an eyebrow at the latter, but Lockwood was already speaking as he sorted his acquisitions into piles.

And the #4 fic is the one where George notices Lucy's pregnant again (with child #4) before she does. He gets in quite a bit of trouble for being too dang observant. XD I really like (and certainly share) the headcanon that George continues to live at 35 Portland Row for a while even after Lockwood and Lucy are married, and probably even after the first few kids are born, and I really want to see George as mischievous (adoring) uncle! A snippet:

“You and your rules,” George huffed. “Can’t ask this thing, have to remember to ask that thing based on very vague hints, no credit if I word it wrong.” Still, despite his grumbling, he’d pulled out a frying pan and was currently rooting around the corner of the counter where we usually kept the eggs. This only served to prove his confidence in his own deductions: his complaints may never change, but George always catered to my food-related whims while I was pregnant. I was pretty sure it wasn’t even a conscious thing, just something he’d picked up from watching his older siblings as they grew their families.

[greenerteacups]

following the last ask, i have a series of draco questions?

- what are your favourite draco tropes?

- what dramione fics have the best written draco OR best draco characterization?

- what’s your pictured plot line for draco post war : career wise, character development wise, and romance wise?

What a treat of a question. Always love an excuse to talk about Draco.

Favorites: mean, clever, and competent. Morally, I like him a touch darker than charcoal, a shade lighter than oil. He's supposed to be pretentious and snobby, and a little too quick to resolve problems with force, mainly because he's lazy at heart and doesn't want to put in the work to do things by the book. (Later in life, I see this informing his instincts as a duelist — forget niceties, what's the quickest way to end this fight in my favor?) Impatient as anything; Ice Prince when you don't know him, Unrepentant Brat once you do; the platonic ideal of an Only Child, jealous, fairly possessive, but charming enough that he gets away with it. But those are all double-edged traits: he's loyal, ferociously defensive of what's his, and once he's extended his own sense of This Is Mine to include something, he'll raise hell to keep it.

Best Draco: I think Disappearances has one of my favorite Dracos, because he feels textured and real. There's this one scene where he's talking to Hermione about how purebloods flirt, and it was life-changing. I also recently ate up The Light Is No Mystery, which is a slow burn like trying to cooking an egg with a pocket lighter and a cast-iron. I like the Draco of Bending Light, which is my latest feel-good No Tears Just Vibes cheer-up fic, largely because "fuck it, give him a motorcycle" is the kind of baller authorial move we as readers need more of. (And for the record, in the real world, he would be one of those rich boys who collects really nice Ducatis and smashes them up doing things he really shouldn't.)

Post-War Plans: It depends entirely on how loyal we're being to canon, because if we're shackled to the Epilogue, then it's uninspiring — he becomes a sort of idle philanthropist type, marries Astoria (weird and also why, Daphne is literally in his year, she was right there) and has Scorpius soon enough for him to be in the same year as Rose Weasley. That means he probably didn't go to Azkaban, because if he did, he'd have to be in and out in time to meet, marry, and have babies with Astoria in the same timeframe that Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione do, which ranges between "kind of hasty" and "physically impossible," depending on his prison sentence. And that's all we know.

Here's what I think it gets right: Draco probably marries young, because purebloods/rich people generally do; I very much doubt he marries a named character from Hogwarts, because he'd probably try to get as far away from his reputation as possible; and I think he tries to clean up his act. That means philanthropy, general PR work, and possibly getting a high-profile role in reconstruction. I think he'd marry someone "suitable," and have a kid. And I think he'd be a good father. In fact, I think he'd err on the side of spoiling his kids. (As he was spoiled; I tend to think Lucius was a decent father, if maybe not a great one. I don't think Draco acts like an abused kid, just one with the misfortune of being born into the most incredibly fucked-up murderous dynasty of weirdos in history.)

But if I could choose an ending for him, I'd probably make him an auror, or maybe an Unspeakable/something cool in the Department of Mysteries, like curse breaking. I'd like him to end up with Hermione, somehow, although it'd probably take them a lot of time (think years) to get there.

[dafukdidiwatch]

One Piece - Episode One

Yo Ho Ho yall (fuck that's cheesy lol) Well the Live Action One Piece came out a few weeks ago and I've only just started to watch it. I love One Piece. I 100% believe that One Piece is Classical Literature and Classical Story Telling. Like it will stand the test of time it is that good. And since I'm in love with the anime and watching the new series, I've decided to give like a mini review of each episode I watch.

Major Spoilers Ahead: I haven't caught up with the anime (like holy shit no I haven't) but I have rewatched the beginning seasons/arcs many many times. So this is honestly might be more of a comparison between the adaptation and the original source material. So I'm going to go over a lot of plot points of, well, everything.

Here we go!

Overview: Episode One follows Monkey D. Luffy on the start of his journey to become the King Of The Pirates on the open ocean. He faces against The Alvida Pirates and takes rescues the Cabin Boy Koby from her iron clutches. There they travel together to a nearby Marine Base to take find a map of the Grand Line, and we get the introduction of Zoro the Pirate Bounty Hunter and Nami the Thief and Catburgler. Shenanigans force the group together where they face off against Marine Captain Axe-Hand Morgan and retrieve the map together. Leaving Koby behind to follow his own dream, the trio sets off on a stolen boat and sails onto the next episode.

Initial Thoughts: I feel like I have to break up my review into so many categories because My God, they cram packed SO many things into this episode. Every minute there's anyone easter egg, another name drop, another scene where I go "Oh! It's That Part from the Anime!" I don't think it's going to be possible for me to look at it strictly on it's own merit, because a lot of what I like about it is going to be colored by the anime. Specifically what they kept, changed, and adapted to fit a live action setting. Because honestly, I'm blown away. They did an insanely good job with this series.

Plot:

I have to start with some of the plot here. Not just the overview I mean like a Deep Dive into how this is a lot of people's first introduction to One Piece.

I like how they have the first scene be the Gol D. Rodgers backstory. His death and final words, as stated in every episode, "drove countless souls to the sea." His legacy is the driving point for the show, so having it at the beginning is a great way to set up the exposition and expectation for the series. This is Pirates. Government vs Pirates. The King Of Pirates Treasure created more Pirates.

I also like how at every Pirate's Introduction we see a wanted poster fly by and cover his face. The bounties are used as a "power level" marker in a way. Higher Bounty = More Dangerous. It's a nice visual cue to show they are key players.

They also kept a lot of the iconic scenes and moments from the anime too. Nami drifting in the boat. Shanks getting beer smashed onto him by the bandits. They actually kept in some manga only moments too: Luffy stabbing himself in the eye for example and the reveal of his Gum Gum Powers. Not shown in the anime. So the Live Action series is faithful to both anime and manga.

Then the show even expands on some moments that were sort of glanced over. It actually shows Zoro being recruited for Baroque Works instead of Zoro mentioning it one that happened off screen. Which was a really cool badass visual to show rather than tell why Zoro is epic. Leave the myth/legacy/stories for Gol D. Rodgers. If the guy is on our crew, we gotta see why he's cool enough to be on the crew.

They also added in a lot of new mashups in here too. It makes since, Episode One covers about the first 5ish episodes of the anime. So you have to smash what you can when you can. Nami never interacted with Luffy or Zoro until the next island. They never were all together in a bar/tavern (which, ha, classic bar meet up). And there were new combinations of how other characters interact with each other. Morgan and Zoro never met prior to Luffy's bullshit. But damn, that was a pretty interesting interaction to just flex on their characters.

Speaking of...

Characters:

I'll get into main cast specifics afterwards, but I have to say that the show is perfect with capturing the essence of each character. No matter what actions they take or how the story changed, the show stayed true to the core of the characters. Luffy's childlike wonder went everywhere he went asking questions about everything. Zoro's sassy to everyone and honorable in battle. Nami self-reliant and sneaky and can handle her own. Morgan's self importance was shown with self-portraits. And this is for Everyone. Even the background mooks and randos. The crowd immediately going to sea as soon as Rodgers gives his Pirate Blessing for his treasure. Nothing is missed. Everything is well, exactly how and why we love these characters.

Luffy, well, I wasn't sure if I could like at first. It's the voice. I have a thing where if I know a character for a while, sometimes I can't vibe with another iteration because I am too invested in the first version. The voice was still high pitch and casual, but it just felt different. Between that and just how calm he was acting I wasn't sure if I liked Luffy. But the more I saw him the more perfect he was. He is happy, go-lucky, a gentle airy voice with a tinge of excitement. Terrible liar, a little bit more clever perhaps but still a well rounded dumbass. He's really the perfect Luffy.

Zoro was a bit of the same way too. I don't know if it was just the monotone but he was a bit like the same with Luffy. But then he opened his mouth and was just as so flipping sassy and snarky. Then we see him fight and kill a man on screen which yeah, he does that. And wow he's still super bad ass. I'm just sort of waiting to see more of his flaws in the next episode, and I'm actually surprised that Zoro had embraced the "Pirate Hunter" moniker when he couldn't give less of a shit is still serious and stoic, can't tell if he's more competent or not just yet.

A little surprise that Zoro wasn't on the crew yet. But I think they changed it so it would feel more like Zoro was willing to join rather than a "choose: join up or you'll get killed"

Nami was also as badass as I hoped. We see her on the job. On the clock. Taking one problem at a time. She would give Lupin a run for his money. Like her scoping out marines in the bar to steal the clothes, that was a brilliant move! A lot better to show the lengths she would go than just tricking some rando pirates. And we get her animosity immediately with Luffy. She really is super clever.

Shanks actually feels more parental here. Like a dedicated dad type. He felt easy going, but more in a mature adult way. He still cared for luffy in the anime don't get me wrong. But Anime Shanks absolutely laughed and teased Luffy. For example: Live Action Shanks was concerned and worried when Luffy showed his devil fruit powers for the first time. Anime Shanks was worried and called Luffy a dumbass for doing a stupid thing like eating random fruit. I get why they wanted him to be a more serious parental figure in the live action, just a bit different.

It actually is interesting because there is a distinctive change with Shanks and Buggy. Shanks as noted above went a cool older cousin to a parental figure. Buggy is cloaked in insanity and danger. He is menacing, which is important. He's the first major main antagonist. But his goofiness has been pulled back a bit and turned into crazy. He's still ruthless but it's more like Joker Crazy instead of just wacky clown. Granted he's only just introduced at the end of the show so there was no time to flesh it out. So we might have more silly wackiness coming our way. But it isn't a bad change.

Setting:

I can't believe how accurate the setting is to One Piece. Like, first they kept all of the weirdo gadgets like the Transponder Snails and those goofy looking seagulls. And yeah the CGI isn't like technically the best or detailed, but it feels like it was pulled straight from the manga.

Speaking of being pulled straight from the manga, the costumes are insane. How long did the costume department just stare into the anime and just bring it to life. Everyone's outfits are colorful, iconic, it perfectly fits the character and their designs. Same with the island, the ships, every location it just felt so real. So vibrant. It just breathes life!

And there's Violence! Honest to god Violence! In One Piece! Oh sure we have fights and battles and deaths in the show and manga. And it isn't shied away from at all. But now there's Blood. There's actual Canon Death. Point Blank from the beginning this is the Pirate Era and they are Ruthless by just killing a man off screen and forcing the wimpy boy to clean the mace. The show is not playing around.

Vibes: It's weird to say but overall, the vibes I got from the Live Action One Piece is the same as a Bollywood Movie. Bollywood is Big, Bombastic. It's silly and exaggerated but open and honest with everything. No matter how crazy or ludicrous it is, it's played straight in the movie. There is no lampshading or "jk" moments. The story is earnest in what it's doing.

That vibe 100% fits perfectly with the One Piece World. EVERYONE is a weirdo! That's the point of how the characters are introduced or treated or act. If they were written as weird, then they are more memorable by the audience. Not only that but everything is played straight no matter how goofy it is. Luffy's Rubber Devil Fruit is a useful power to have! He also can stretch his face and dodge like a 1920s cartoon. It's weird but it works. Mr. 7 and Buggy the Clown are dressed like madmen crazy people. But they are still set up as dangerous. Their villainy is still threatening no matter what the getup is. And it works because the show doesn't make fun of them for it. It isn't trying to wink at the camera and go "Take a look at this clown boy am I right?". We aren't taken out of that immersion of the world to mock the characters regardless of how ridiculous they are.

But importantly, it captures the central themes of One Piece: Adventure, Freedom, Dreams. The show doesn't try to tone down these things, it embellishes it. It is honest with the determination of the cast, their dreams and plans. I keep coming back to the word earnest because it fits so well with One Piece and Bollywood. No matter what happens, they both keep the sincerity of these themes and that's why it works. It is faithful not just in storytelling and plot points, but in spirit too.

Overall I really need to stop gushing over this one episode lol. Because it was just ONE Episode. I still have 7 more to go! What the Shit! This show is just already amazing. It's faithful to the source material. Faithful to the characters, the plot, the story. It puts in future plot points for the live action audience to pick up on that doesn't feel rushed or forced. It's just, a wholesome adventure story when it comes down to it. 100% 10/10 will watch everything

[raayllum]

AU concept: King Callum

The assassination was successful for whatever reason and both Harrow and Ezran have died. That leaves Callum as the next rightful heir. How does Callum grapple with his enormous loss and also the new weight of the crown placed on his shoulders that he was in no way expecting nor prepared for? How does Viren feel about this and what might he try and do? What’s Rayla up to (is she okay?)? Claudia? etc.

- food for thought. >:)

King or regent Callum is something I usually don't engage too much in bc it feels a lil bit too much like displacing Ezran (and he's our one dark skinned character of colour in the main cast - also i Love him too much that thinking of him being dead-dead hurts my heart) however:

It would depend on where the divergence happened. Has he already met Rayla and they've found the egg, and Ezran dies to Runaan on the battlements? (In which case I don't think much would change, i.e. Callum would still leave to bring the egg home but now it's particularly heavy because it's what Ez wanted - and he and Rayla would develop a much more like, jaded but still ride or die kind of bond? Basically S4-ish Callum but with extra layers of grief and probably more anger toward her initially because it's gotta go somewhere, and then guilt because he does like her and there are moments of happiness, etc etc)

But in a world where Ez never found the egg, two alternatives:

1) Ez dies and Callum assumes the throne as the surviving heir. Not discovering the egg means he has no reason to not trust Viren. Callum refuses to have a regent outright (the throne is all he has left of his family and he desperately wants to feel in control) but it doesn't keep Viren from whispering in his ear or from growing closer to Claudia, even as the two mages are more aware than ever that if Callum ever discovers they kept the Dragon Prince alive, he'll have their heads. Thus, Callum walks a razor's edge of being furious with Xadia, probably too cautious to launch anything full scale but maybe being willing to seriously encroach on the border and send in minimal troops, just to test things out, and become a brutal strategist child king.

He never entirely loses his good heart, of course - but he's far less trusting (ironically saving him from falling to Viren's influence entirely) and far less willing to listen to said heart (again, like S4 redux but with zero support system). I think Opeli would look after him, but he'd resent that too in a way, feeling like she's treating him like a child (which he is) but very much feels like he is not, after what he's been through

Assuming Rayla is here, I think it could go a similar route as @zuppizup's excellent fic "purgatory" of her being unknowingly imprisoned before being discovered, somehow, or escaping loosely on her own. It would certainly be a stilted alliance to begin with and a lot of lingering hurt / anger on both sides, but I do think eventually they'd come to work together in an odd sort of "almost no one else is as fucked up as we are" partnership that becomes more jovial and benevolent over time

2) Ez survives but being young and reeling from grief, Callum becomes regent in an effort to shield him. This leaves Callum with one strong pillar and still the possibility of the egg being discovered (as Ez is still familiar with the tunnels) even if past the point it was found in show. This means the role of king is probably split roughly 60% (Callum) - 40% (Ezran) between the brothers and they become their own team, even if Callum may be even more over protective with no way to ensure that people wouldn't come back for Ez. Hence why he insists on being king-regent in his brother's stead, probably, and Ez is tired and unsure enough to let him (without thinking through the full consequences, maybe). This could lead to a rift as they get older as Ezran wants to acquire more power but Callum continues to be over protective. This also means Viren has significantly less influence and is constantly tempered by Ez and Callum's influence on each other, leading to more frustration and perhaps more back handed attempts to get rid of the brothers. Perhaps an imprisoned Rayla (or an older Rayla who missed out on the first mission, and has been sent to finish the job years later as repayment) could enter the story as a surprising protector? And having to put up with Callum's sharp tongue after years of learning how to handle things diplomatically, perhaps being more back handed himself in terms of getting information, etc.

Either scenario would bring Callum's snake boi tendencies out in full though, I think 👀

There's a lot of ways it could go and these are just my first thoughts, but I hope you enjoyed 'em! I always love a good canon divergence

[fae-fucker]

Nexus: Chapter 1-3

It's time for the thrilling conclusion to Sasha Alsberg's and Lindsay Cummings literary diarrhea. Described by the illustrious Sarah J Maas (whose taste we can surely trust) as a "whirlwind, out-of-this-galaxy adventure," the queen of fae jizz has once again put egg on our collective faces and told blatant lies to uphold false narratives.

It's apparently been two years since I last left Andi to die as the new General of Arcardius. Nor was the evil queen, and Valen was the perpetual victim turned evil guy at the last moment. Dex was there, and so was Andi's crew. Dex rescued Andi and the general, but the general died after giving Andi his title for reasons as uninteresting as they are pointless.

I won't be recapping the whole thing, just read the last parts of the previous snark to get caught up. Or the whole thing, if you want xoxo

Chapter 1: Dex

Dextro Arez had never truly believed that the Godstars were tangible beings. They were soul-felt, a comforting presence inside your heart, an idea that filled your mind as if soldered on with iron and fire. Always nearby, yet as far away as the stars in the night sky.

Hoo boy. Shinsay are so very good at one-sentence K.O.s They bypass my armor and do direct psychic damage.

Dex is sitting by Andi's busted-ass body. She's been out for a week, and he's all angsty about how she has to wake up because she's the general now and is the only one who can save them all. He's then overtaken by a telegraphed wave of memories, flashing conveniently back to the climax of the first book, so we're all caught up on what's happened.

BUT THEN! Andi wakes up! And she's all angry about how Dex saved her but left HER GIRLS behind, and she gets up and tries to go and save them immediately despite having an open and gaping chest wound that starts bleeding the moment she gets up. She's so so angry you guys. And also really badass for how she wants to save her crew, whom she loves so much that she'd die for them. It's very cool and tragic and sad and uuh. Anyway.

She stabs him with a syringe full of a pain medication called "soduum" which, I mean, yeah. Soduum indeed.

The first chapter of Nexus ends like this,

“I’m sorry, Dex,” Andi said, her voice like a funeral dirge as his head hit the floor. “There is no me without them.” When she left the med bay, she was no longer Androma Racella. The Bloody Baroness stepped into the halls of the Marauder, a captain who would tear apart the skies to rescue her crew.

I do love the childlike sincerity of Shinsay being so enamored with the bad-mouth-feel name of their main character, and her shitty little title, that they keep repeating both. I also hate the way the title is deeply unoriginal while also being completely meaningless, indicating that Shinsay just chose words that sounded cool to them without thought or effort. There's a certain unearned smugness in repeating the full name and title every time Andi does anything they think is cool, because guys? You didn't do anything, but you're expecting goosebumps every time? Cmon now.

I read my own snark recently in preparation for reading Nexus (cuz there's no way I'm gonna read Zenith again lol) and I'm surprised that I never deconstructed the title of "Bloody Baroness," because it's so bad. So I'll do that now, because there's nothing else cool happening.

First of all, what does baroness mean in this world? The title existing implies the existence of peerage. Adhira has a queen, so that sort of fits, but Andi is from Arcardius, which is noted to be the most militaristic planet, ruled by a general instead of a king. So who gave her the title? Why is it baroness specifically? Does Andi hold land? Where did the title of baroness come from? Who started it and why? What did she do to earn it? We never really find out what Andi did during her criminal years, so her having a wacky title would have given us a clue as to what kind of pirate she is. Instead, we get baroness because it sounds fancy to Shinsay and is alliterative with "bloody," I guess?

As for "bloody", well, it speaks for itself, doesn't it? It's a fine enough descriptor for a space pirate, but the fact that it's followed up by "baroness" makes it sound too small for the title it's describing. The alliteration was also a mistake, IMO. It just sounds childish. Combine all this with the fact that "bloody" is something a mildly annoyed British person might say before a real curse word, it's just a bit silly.

Compare to two examples that kind of work, on the opposite ends of the spectrum that Andi occupies. We have Star Lord, from Guardians of the Galaxy. I haven't read the comics, but the title works for the guy because it's both ambiguous (in the first movie, nobody knows who he is or what he's done, because it's not a lot) and grandiose (because he's full of himself). It is a cool name, but it's clearly something an unimaginative egotist might come up with, name himself the lord of stars because they're in space, so ruling stars means he's a big deal. Nobody's calling him lord unless he convinces them first. It works because it builds his character.

Then we have The Blood Countess, one of the epithets given to Elizabeth Bathory, a real-life historical figure who was said to have killed women and girls in order to bathe in their blood and remain young forever. Notice the similarities to the Bloody Baroness. Except Bathory was given this moniker because she 1) was an actual countess and 2) killed people and had a fascination with their blood. Obviously this is a real-life person, but the title works because hey, she did do that shit, at least according to the people who gave her that name. She's a countess that likes blood? Blood Countess!

What did Andi do? Everyone calls her the Bloody Baroness, but we don't know why, and she clearly didn't give herself the name, though she embraces it because ...? She likes it, I guess. She likes to be called bloody because she loves violence, and to be associated with nobility, despite supposedly hating the upper class after they stabbed her in the back.

Y'all see what I mean?

We don't know where the title came from, so we don't get an insight into her past, and we don't know how she feels about it, aside from stuff we can assume that turns out to be contradictory anyway.

But hey, it sounds cool, right? Right? RIGHT?!

Chapter 2: Andi

Anyway, because she's got a huge hole in her chest that's gushing blood, Andi can barely get herself into the captain's seat, but she's so so so so determined to save HER GIRLS, you guys. Can you feel the female solidarity simply seeping off the page? Totally not undermined by the fact that the three girls are basically lamps who only exist to be Andi's motivation and have no character of their own in this book, essentially objectifying them in this supposedly feminist narrative.

The navigation holoscreen began to flicker before her eyes, highlighted by the swirling, shimmering clouds outside the varillium walls of the ship. The dense fog of color obscured Andi’s view of the stars, and the sight of it sent a shiver of dread down her spine. “Memory?” she asked breathlessly. The soothing female voice of the Marauder ’s control system came to life around her. “How may I assist you, Captain?” “Where exactly are we?” There was a long pause before Memory responded. “The navigation system is currently off-line. I am unable to determine our precise location at this time.” Andi stared at the dancing whorls of pink and gold mist, a sudden suspicion dawning. “Memory, what was the destination of the last hyperspace jump?” “The last coordinates entered were for a location just outside the Xintra Nebula.” Andi’s hands began to shake with rage. Her ship was inside a damned nebula. A massive pocket of space filled with gases and debris that rendered the Marauder’s tracking and navigation systems utterly useless. A place only the most skilled pilots could hope to fly through without losing their way.

A-heem heem. So, as a child, my obsession wasn't with dinosaurs, or Egypt, or animals. Mine was space. And though I couldn't tell you anything that you probably don't already know, I will say that uuh, nebulas? Do not work like that. Nebulas aren't, like, clouds or mist here on earth, they're MASSIVE. And yes, while they are filled with gases, it's not like water turning to mist, so the amount of gas molecules stretched across hundreds of light-years would make existing inside a nebula perfectly fine. The gases wouldn't even be visible to the naked eye. Like, you wouldn't be obscured by clouds or mist, and certainly not enough to scramble any science-fiction navigational tools in a world that's mastered space travel.

Also, while we're on the topic of Shinsay not knowing shit from fuck, can I say something else? Here's the map of the galaxy:

First of all, what are rogue systems? I don't know if they've ever been mentioned and I don't remember if they ever will be, so why even put them on the map? Second of all: you mean to tell me that none of these people name the stars in their star system? That they're all just "the sun" like we do here on Earth? Huh? What? Why? Third: so several of the aliens come from the same star systems? Most of these planets have been mentioned as habitable. Andi and Breck come from the same star system. How is that plausible in any sense of the word?

Third of all, what the fuck is this?

HOW IS THAT A FUCKING ASTEROID BELT? Like I don't expect authors to understand how gravity works in space, (even though it's pretty basic that these rocks would definitely be in orbit around the sun, much like the planets are) but didn't the word belt clue you in on how they look? Do you have no curiosity at all, or are you so overconfident that you can't even bother to look things up?

Also, I get that this is stylized, but this map feels really small. Combined with how Shinsay don't seem to understand how big space actually is, or how unlikely it is that so many planets and satellites in a system are not only habitable but inhabited, it leads to the whole thing feeling underwhelming, not like the great swashbuckling space opera they were clearly going for. Everything's just squished together, and the whole plot revolves around a handful of planets.

Anywhomst, Lon comes in (Lira's brother who's somehow a "universal donor") and reasons with Andi. They head back to wake up Dex, which is surprisingly easy, given that almost no time has passed and they don't even give him anything to cancel out the drug.

Dex and Lon catch Andi up on what went down once she got her ass beat by a skinny guy with a knife. Valen is Nor's half brother and their mom had fucked up space magic that mind-controlled General Cyprian back in the day. Now they're mind-controlling people into worshiping Nor, including Andi's crew. It's very dramatic but also stuff we already knew, so.

Andi squeezed Dex’s hand and nodded decisively. “So we find a way to free their minds and come up with a plan to get them out.” “And then?” Lon asked. Andi allowed an icy smile to spread across her face. “And then the Bloody Baroness will go hunting.”

Cool. This is the second time in a row that we're ending a chapter with the promise of Andi aka the Bloody Baroness doing something cool, and yet she never does. And guess what! She never will.

Spoilers.

Chapter 3: Valen

The chapter title loudly proclaims that this is three weeks later, so I'm assuming that's on top of the week Andi's been out. So like it's a month after the attack. Keep this in mind.

Valen sits in a garden in his old home and angsts about how this planet used to be his prison because his family hated him, except his half-sister Kalee, who was an angel who could do no wrong. But now thankfully he has another sister who is totally cool and awesome and gave him a new identity, as a Solis with compulsion powers.

With every moment that passed, with every new soldier that set out across Mirabel to spread the Zenith virus, more minds were added to Valen’s nexus of connections. At first, he’d felt the exact moment when each silver bullet hit its target. The bullets contained a serum that Nor’s two-headed scientist, Aclisia, had perfected back on Xen Ptera. She’d somehow replicated strands of Valen’s DNA and used them to create a virus that forever linked the minds of its victims to his own, leaving them vulnerable to his compulsions.

His DNA? They're blasting people with Valen's DNA in order to make them part of his semi-hivemind? This is like if I spit in someone's mouth and they started being able to see my OCs in their mind's eye. It doesn't make any sense, and would've worked better if it was just random space-magic, but sure, whatever, it's DNA now. I just don't understand how it works in-person, then? Because it clearly does, since that's how Klaren used it, and she didn't put her DNA into the people she controlled. It was rather the opposite, really. Bazinga etc.

Like, ok, making a virus out of his DNA is fine, but then why would that infection allow him to take control over them? Look at how it "works" in his mind:

Over time, he discovered a way to quiet the minds, to lock them away in their very own realm, so that when a new mind was added, it was simply background noise. He’d strengthened the mental boundaries around that realm, building walls around those other minds, until they were contained in an impenetrable fortress that rivaled the obsidinite prison he’d once been trapped in on Lunamere. And then, finally, there was silence. Now he need only hear the minds when he pleased. And with the help of the Zenith virus, Valen could reach them from anywhere in the galaxy. He compelled them to serve Nor, their true queen—no matter the cost.

So it's a fucking BBC Sherlock mind palace. Very clearly not science-based, so why the bullshit with making a virus? Guess it sounds more scienc-y.

On Xen Ptera, they’d shared a life together—two years spent honing Valen’s powers. And all the while, his heartless father never came looking for him. Valen had once cared about pleasing the general, but now he knew that hope had been futile. Foolish, and utterly pointless. His father had never been capable of loving him, of feeling pride in his son.

Well, you were his rape-baby. Like I hate to remind you but you were very much unwanted and unplanned and made from a forced union. I get that that's not Valen's fault, and the general shouldn't have taken it out on him, but with how much this book and the first demonizes the general and idolizes (or at least affords complexity to) Klaren, this comes off as kind of uncomfortable. You'll see how Shinsay just conviniently always forget that Klaren was an actual rapist. I guess it doesn't count if it's a woman raping men. Yes, multiple.

Valen talks to Nor through their mind link or whatever, which makes him feel better. He's avoiding Darai (Nor's evil advisor/uncle figure), because the old geezer gives him bad vibes.

As he's sitting there, his gaze drifts to a massive floating thing in the distance:

Nexus. The monstrous satellite had become Nor’s new obsession in the wake of their takeover during the Ucatoria Ball. Engineers, scientists and workers had been laboring around the clock these past few weeks, perfecting every angle and plane of the device that would amplify Valen’s compulsion ability, sending his message to every corner of the galaxy.

Ayoo, title drop! But also, what? How does that work? How are you gonna blast Valen's DNA virus through space and expect it to not only survive the process, but also reach across the galaxy? *Tim Allen AUEGH grunt*

Anyway, Nor is apparently preparing for a public announcement or some shit, and Valen thinks about the Unaffected attacks.

Yes. Time for another Nondescript Proper Noun. Get a load of this:

It was something Valen had feared from the beginning, after he’d learned that some wouldn’t be affected by his compulsion. Their numbers were slim, if Aclisia’s extensive testing of the Zenith virus was anything to judge by. For every hundred that fell to Valen’s compulsion, bowing to Nor despite their original feelings toward her, only one resisted. So despite his unease, he’d never truly thought they’d be able to fight back. But barely a week into Nor’s reign, a group of Unaffecteds had banded together and destroyed the military barracks on Tenebris that housed many of the newest recruits to the cause. Valen had felt the moment those minds beneath his compulsion had died. As if they were matches snuffed out. There one moment, gone the next. It happened again, mere days later, on Adhira. A small but organized group of Unaffecteds had emerged from the jungle sector of the terraformed planet and struck down the communication towers. Nor’s video feed, which was on a constant loop across the galaxy, had been cut off for half a day’s time.

First of all, is this some English speaker thing that I'm not getting? Some nuance I'm missing? Why the hell are they called "Unaffecteds" instead of just "Unaffected"? "A group of Unaffected" works just as fine and doesn't sound as awkward, no? Especially since Valen called them Unaffected previously. Am I wrong? Feel free to correct me but I think that this is just unecessary and weird. And yeah, it's not very original. It's giving Divergent but many years too late.

Second of all, one in a hundred in a galaxy is still a lot of people. However, probably not enough to form a resistance movement that fast and that organized in a manner of weeks. Especially considering that there's a visual difference between those that are affected and those that aren't (as we'll see later), and that most people aren't combatants, most Unaffected/s would be found out pretty quickly. I'm calling bullshit on this one.

Third, why is Nor wasting time on making videos for a galaxy that's already entirely brainwashed by her? This implies that the attack was a calculated effort to weaken her power, but aside from sending her a message, it doesn't really affect anything, does it? Are we meant to believe she's just very self-absorbed? That hasn't really been her characterization up until this point.

The Unaffecteds would fall eventually, when they ran out of steam. When they realized that the galaxy was beyond saving.

Nitpick, but for a guy who's spent an entire chapter wanking about how great and amazing his sister is, it's a very weird word choice to say that his enemies would be "saving" the galaxy from her. Is he devoted to her and her cause, or is he a mustache-twirling villain aware of his own actions? Cuz it really seems like you're going for the former.

But hey, what's one sentence in a book, right? It's not like stories are made up of words and that you should be aware of the choices you're making while writing them or anything.

Sometimes, Valen could scarcely believe what they had already accomplished; how quickly the galaxy had fallen beneath their joined hands. Having a scientist of Aclisia’s caliber on their side had been vital to their success in that regard. It had been her idea to send out the orbs full of tainted rain as soon as they’d seized control of Arcardius. A war does not always require soldiers, she’d said, showing Nor and Valen how the weapon would work. Thousands of silver droplets falling from the skies across the galaxy, unleashing the Zenith virus upon all nearby.

Hi, sorry, hi. WHAT. So you're telling me Aclisia has already figured out a way to poison the rain of the entire planet? So ... why the fuck are we bothering with the Nexus satellite? Why don't you just poison the rain on every planet? Given that Adhirans have "universal donors" and all of these different aliens are able to live in each other's atmospheres and eat each other's food, you could just poison each planet's water supply and wait until the virus infected everyone. Yes, that would leave starships and space stations, but given that we barely have mentions of those, and assuming that they still need to stop at planets to refuel and gather supplies, you'll still reach them eventually.

It's funny how Shinsay feel the need to lampshade and excuse how quickly their spaghetti plot happened by using a bunch of other extremely suspect science fiction that would've been a huge deal in any other writer's hand, but through doing that, they undermine their main plot instead. I love it. It's like the reading equivalent of one of an Escher painting. You have to untangle the layers and once you do, you still don't fucking understand anything.

Anyway, Valen falls asleep thinking about how they're totally gonna win, and doesn't notice how his nose bleeds ominously. Because the toll it takes on him to control an entire galaxy of sentient minds is, uuh, literally killing him btw. Spoilers, I guess. For the obvious.

I honestly think that Shinsay have no concept of how huge space is. I know it's hard to comprehend for most people, but y'all are writers, supposedly. Just no imagination in there at all, huh?

It would've been cool to explore how being connected to a literal galaxy full of sentient minds would probably kill you immediately due to the sheer volume of them, like a semi-eldritch hivemind tearing your brain to shreds, but instead Valen just kinda fizzles out physically like a fart in the wind, while his compulsion remains boring and organized and his mind entirely clear and his own the entire time.

Anyway, sorry for the small amount of chapters covered in this first part, I just had to go off on a billion tangents <3