#and what she perceives to be the reasons why she feels isolated

[namisweatheria]

I feel like we don't discuss Nami's relationship with gender enough. Her entire character is so deeply informed by being a girl in a male-dominated pirate world and it's so interesting and so worth talking about.

The background creepiness of Bad pirate crews, which are most of them, how they tend to not have any female crew members at all, how they beckon any pretty young woman around to come play with them and join them. It's real bad. It's also like, a totally 2 dimensional portrayal of evil that is reserved for the most background of background characters.

However I think their ubiquity says a lot about how piracy is meant to be perceived by the public in One Piece, and is one of the strongest indicators of how prevalent misogyny is in-world.

It's very normal in One Piece for regular island inhabitants to have never met a Different class of pirate in their life. There's no reason for them to withhold judgement that maybe these pirates won't be like every crew that attacked before, and to wait and judge them by their actions. I mean frankly that would be irrationally weak self-preservation.

There are people who live peacefully under the flags of Yonkos who protect them, and feel loyalty and gratitude to them for it, but that seems to only be thing with very big name pirates. The East Blue, being the weakest and least populated, has no such plethora of powerful people and resulting turf wars.

So. Nami. Is very clearly implied to have never met any Different pirates before. I'm thinking about what that means. About how every group of pirates she stole from were creepy, dangerous men. How she started going out stealing when she was still a young child. How she didn't have a mother anymore to guide her or comfort her. How Arlong would grab her chin inappropriately, talk about her as a "human female", as property, and god knows what else.

How all the men in Arlong's crew treated her patronizingly, pretending they're all friends, teasing her and playing at respect when really not a single one of them ever stuck up for her or hesitated to accuse her of betrayal. Who were always ready to kill her if she refused to cooperate. Who grabbed her and intimidated her when they felt like it.

That's what she had to come back to after a close call with stealing from other predatory men, instead of the relief of home there was a dark, cramped room filled with endless hours of misery and isolation and blood. Where any one of her captors could barge in and demand new maps, work faster, where did you go, you took too long again this time. Endless threats and incursions.

I'm thinking about that her fight scene in Alabasta, where she tumbles and rips off her cape and uses it to catch her enemy's spikes, before leaping to her feet and running out the back door, all in one moment. How it makes her enemy reconsider her and think, "so the girl's not a total novice at fighting after all." What that implies about her experiences as a young thief. The times she wasn't fast or clever enough and had to fight and claw her way out. Why she always carried a staff and a knife. Why she was the only one before Chopper who had any medical knowledge or experience.

You know she was stitching herself up. And the weapons, how do you think she learned to use those? If any of the Arlong Pirates helped her it wasn't out of kindness and it wasn't gentle.

Then I think about Nojiko, and Bellemere's memory, and the only softness in a hard life. How easily Nami connects to every young woman experiencing hardship that she meets. How completely she dismisses the struggles of men unless they mean something to her and are going through something terrible. The way that Nami only has sympathy for women and children is easily noticeable in-text, but it's also something confirmed in those words by the author. And it's clearly because of the life she lived, the men who had all the power and only abused it, who saw her as nothing but a girl to take advantage of, without anyone aside from her sister clearly knowing and caring about any of it.

Nami clearly isn't bitter, she doesn't think the world owes her recompense, on the contrary she knows she is far from the only person in the world to suffer the things she has suffered. She is endlessly reaching out and kind, but only to those that she isn't sure would get help without her. Certainly, before Luffy, Usopp, and Zoro, no man ever reached out a hand to her without an ulterior motive.

I think when she sees a girl in trouble, a girl biting her lip to hold in a scream of grief, a girl running in the woods away from a monster, a girl captured by pirates, she sees someone who no one is coming for. Who no one will stick up for. A person without allies in a world against her. Whether it's actually true in this case or not, she runs straight for that girl anyways every single time.

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Not Alone

Authors note: My mental health is currently in the toilet (once again, I'm sorry y'all I'm trying so hard to get my one-shots out and finish up my multi chapter stories) so I wrote this to help myself feel better. Maybe it'll help some of y'all too ❤

Summary: Y/n has been suffering with immense negativity from her mental illnesses. Normally when this she self isolates and waits for it to pass, not a good coping skill surely but it keeps her safe. But this time, unbeknownst to her, Natasha has observed her slight changes and struggles during this period. So when Y/n takes a sudden leave, Nat knows she has to do something to show how much she cares and prove to Y/n that she's not alone.

Warnings: alludes to: anxiety, depression, PTSD, spiraling, suicidal ideation

Word count: 1773

Natasha Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

   It was movie night at the Avengers tower, and much to Natashas dismay you were once again absent. It wasn’t normal for you to miss out on things with the team, either as a whole or one on one hangouts. But for the past few weeks that's exactly what's been happening. It was gradual at first, but as time went on your lack of involvement only grew and your excuses as to why eventually stopped entirely. And while the rest of the team has taken notice of this behavior and is also a bit worried, it's Natasha who is affected most by your absence.

   She had thought that she was just being anxious due to her feelings for you mixed with the sudden distance you were making. But then she realized that was only part of the reason. What really impacted her were the changes she perceived in you. At first it was small things, like you losing focus during a meeting or skipping breakfast. But things had escalated, and far too quickly as far as she was concerned. Your gaze had become distant, your smile failed to be as bright, your laugh lacked its usual luster, you were eating less and sleeping more. But worst of all, you were throwing yourself into whatever mission came along. Even if you weren’t healed up from the last one yet.

   Unfortunately she knew exactly the headspace you were currently in, and she knew it wasn’t a good place for anyone to be. But especially you. It honestly hurt her to watch you suffer as you were, retreating in on yourself instead of seeking help. Or at least seeking her out, you usually confided in her whenever anything was bothering you. But she knew this made her a bit of a hypocrite because back when she was a new SHIELD recruit and struggling like this she certainly wasn’t letting Clint through the walls she built around herself, no matter how hard he tried to be there for her. But to her credit, when she was at her worst, she did reluctantly seek the archer out and let him in. 

   While she wants the same outcome for you, she doesn’t want you to have to hit your lowest point like she had before you reached out and accepted help. So she decides that she needs to act first and approach you. Maybe it's because she knows her friendship with you is closer than her and Clints had been at the time or maybe it's because she's hopeful that you return her feelings and have a bit of a weak spot for her, either way she's almost sure that you’ll be more recipient than she’d been. Which is why she finds herself quietly getting up from the sofa and slipping out of the room just as the movie begins to play. 

   She heads down the hall for the elevator but decides she doesn’t have the patience for it and so she opts for the stairs instead. She gets to your floor and heads straight for your door, where she doesn't hesitate to knock. As expected she receives no answer from you but it doesn’t deter her from knocking again.

   “Y/n, I know you're in there. Don’t make me pick the lock” she says. And it had been an attempt at a joke, but when she still gets no sign of movement from you she decides to do just that

   Your door opens with a familiar squeak that has you shifting in your bed, and your brows furrow as you watch Natasha reclose your door, “Didn’t think you were serious”

   “I’m always serious” she replies, knowing that outward image was far from what she allowed you to see

   “Not with me you aren’t” you grumble, managing to briefly make the corners of her mouth twitch in amusement. 

    But that amusement doesn’t last long as she takes in the state of your room. The blinds are shut with curtains drawn and a blanket has even been hung up over the curtain rod to block out all possible light from entering the space. Your dirty clothes are no longer limited to the hamper in the corner and are instead tossed recklessly about the floor. Your trashcan is shoved full of take out containers, a few dirty dishes are stacked on your nightstand, and the only light source is your dim bedside lamp.

   Her eyes scan over your appearance next and her heart sinks further. Based on your messy hair, dark eye bags, paler than usual complexion and crumpled up blankets she can assume that your prolonged stay in bed hasn’t been a restful one. Your scowl deepens when you notice her looking you over and you subconsciously shift under her gaze.

   “Can I help you with something Natasha, or do you just not get the hint that silence means I’d rather be alone?”

   She sighs and tries not to take your cold demeanor to heart. She knows you're just trying to keep yourself from being vulnerable with her. She decides to test her luck and steps further into the room, and when you don’t say anything about how close she is now she takes a seat on the edge of your bed.

   “I’m worried about you” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper

   “I’m fine” 

   “I know what fine means, Y/n.” she states, her gaze softening as she looks at you again, “And I know you aren’t okay right now”

   “I don’t need to be checked up on Natasha, I’m capable of looking out for myself and I’m telling you that I am okay.” you tell her, but the lie is more difficult to get out to her than you anticipated

   “Don’t do that.” You swallow the lump in your throat and she continues, “Don’t lie to me. Please” 

    “Why do you assume I’m lying?”

   “Other than the fact that I’m a world renown spy you mean? Or the fact that you never shut me out like you've been doing?” She turns towards you more and reaches out for your hand, and though you stiffened at the contact she isn’t deterred, “I know because I’ve been where you are, and I know it's a hell of a road to go down alone.”

    Part of you wants to admit that she's right, to confide in her like you normally would until your walls all come crashing down and you're letting everything out through tears while she wraps you up in her embrace. But the other part of you is still hesitant to be vulnerable, especially with Natasha. Once she saw those darker parts of you, those thoughts and feelings that you wish you didn't have but dealt with in some part daily, you were sure she’d turn away just like everyone else who offered to be there for you. And honestly that was something you knew your heart just couldn’t take. Not with meaning as much to you as she did now.

   “Hey” she gently calls out, likely sensing your inner turmoil, “You don’t have to suffer in silence alone, because you're not alone. I’m right here, and I hate seeing you like this. Please let me in. Even if I can’t help, I can at least be here to support you. Please don't keep shutting me out”

   You aren’t sure if it was the honesty and vulnerability in her voice, or the unshed tears in her eyes that finally had you breaking, but you suppose that didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that you were finally letting her in.

   “I don’t know what to do anymore Tasha” you admit as your voice trembles, and you push past your tears to keep going, “Everything just gets so hard and it's like I can’t even function. All I can do is the bare minimum, and thats so fuckin pathetic. I’m an adult, an Avenger for god's sake, and all I can do is lay in bed and wish I just didn’t even exist”

   “Detka(baby), no. It’s not pathetic, not at all. With everything you’ve gone through and how tough life has been for you, it makes sense that you’d have some days where that all just gets to be too much”

   You can’t help but scoff, “So many people have gone through what I have and they don’t struggle like this. And so many people have it worse. Just look at Bucky, or Wanda. Hell, even you- ”

   “Don’t do that, don’t compare your struggles to others. Everyones brains are different and everyone handles their traumas differently too. What matters is these things affect you, and sometimes you struggle because of them. That's it, no one else's situation bears any sort of weight on what you went through or how you deal with it.”She stresses, “You are allowed to feel how you feel, and you're allowed to not be okay.”

   A sob finally slips past your lips and without a second thought you're sitting up and flinging yourself at the redhead. She quickly wraps her arms around you and pulls you close, letting one hand soothe your back while her other gently cradles the back of your head. Your hands clutch at the fabric of her shirt tightly and you bury your face in the crook of her neck, letting your tears fall against her skin. She doesn’t mind honestly, she's just happy to be the one that you get to turn to when things get hard.

    “I just don’t wanna be here sometimes Tasha, it all gets to be too much.”

    “I know detka(baby), I know. But I am so proud of you for continuing on and so glad that you are here. You are so important. And even more so to me” she whispers, kissing the top of your head

    “I just feel so lost. So alone.”

    “I know, but I’ve got you now and I’m not letting you go. We’ll figure things out together. I promise. Whatever you need Y/n, therapy or time off missions, I’ll help you get it.” she says, tightening her hold on you, “Good days or bad, I’ll be right here.”

   The conviction she speaks with lets you know she means every word, and you know she’s not leaving your side.  You know you're safe in her embrace, and you feel incredibly grateful knowing she's going to be there to help care for you. And though you're still reeling from the turmoil within your head, you find yourself feeling like maybe things were going to start looking up from now on, as long as you had Natasha beside you.

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[litnerdwrites]

Feyre betrayed Nesta in the worst way...

It's a common stance that many people, regardless of if they love or hate Nesta/Rhys/the IC, seem to have, but I don't think it is. Was Nesta complacent in keeping it from her since she found out? Yes. Was that wrong of her? Yes again. Was blurting it out the way that she did also not ideal, to put it mildly? Absolutely yes. But was it out of malice? No.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?' Amren barked, 'Shut your mouth!' But her order was confirmation enough. Face paling, Feyre whispered again, 'What do you mean?' 'The wings,' Nesta seethed. 'The boy's Illyrian wings will get stuck in your Fae body during the labour, and it will kill you both.'

The idea that this was all said in malice just never sat right to me, and after scrolling through some comments on a video discussing the matter, the pieces finally clicked into place. First, let's talk about the hike, though.

Her breakdown after that hike wasn't a moment of catharsis and letting walls down. It was a weeks worth of exhaustion, dehydration and depression that resulted in Nesta giving in to the torture she was put through just to end it. It was a pivotal moment in the IC's efforts to break and then reconstruct her to their liking, or rather, to Feyre's liking. However, a vital stepping stone in reaching this point would be for them to gaslight and isolate her until she truly had no one. I mentioned before that I didn't think anyone in the NC would chose Nesta, and this is an example of why I believe that.

Nesta snarled, but Feyre stepped between them, hands raised. 'This conversation ends now. Nesta, go back to the House. Amren, you...' She hesitated, as if considering the wisdom of ordering Amren around. Feyre finished carefully, 'You stay here.'

Nesta is clearly upset and hurting and Feyre disregards that entierly, not even offering to discuss or find out why Nesta is hurt or feeling the way she is. Feyre didn't bother to try and understand Nesta before and she isn't bothering now. Either Feyre assumes she knows what Nesta is thinking/ feeling, or she just doesn't care. She dismisses her, telling her to go back to her prison, disregarding Nesta's choices, autonomy and opinions again.

If I recall right, it was Amren who informed Nesta that she was free to go where she wanted if she made it down the ten thousand steps. Feyre wouldn't order Amren, even to stand up for her sister, but happily go against Amren's own words to punish Nesta? Hypocrisy at it's finest.

All of this leads to one outcome: Nesta feeling trapped. Cornered and without a single ally in the whorld who would defend her properly. Isolated from anyone who'd be willing to treat her with decency, while believing she doesn't even deserve the basics of kindness. It leaves Nesta more prone to actually going through with committing suicide, since the behaviour of these people, mixed with her own self hatred, sets a precedent for how Nesta believe she'd be treated.

We see this when Nesta first meets Emerie, thinking to herself that 'the invitations would stop' when Emerie learned what nesta was really like. Or at least what Nesta perceived herself to be like.

Even though Nesta has Emerie and Gwyn, she has no reason to think, based on what brainwashing the IC has already done coupled with her self deprecating mindset, that they wouldn't side with the IC. This isn't to say Emerie and Gwyn are like the IC by any means. I think they're great friends to Nesta, and if that changes or not later on is more so up to SJM and her writing, rather than their characterisation. It's the reality that the IC have created for Nesta through abuse, gaslighting and borderline torture that's wound up feeding in to Nesta's already existing trauma and self worth that has lead to her becoming isolated this way.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?'

The comment on the video I saw explained that, while Nesta was angry when saying this, she wasn't trying to hurt Feyre or take her anger out on anyone. Nesta was angry because she wasn't told that she made a new trove. She was angry that these people had the audacity to vote on her life, and take bodily autonomy from her. She was angry that Feyre wasn't acknowledging or even trying to understand how Nesta was feeling. She was angry that she was treated like the bad guy- or more like a petulant child in this scene, I suppose- and had her feelings dismissed again.

Dismissed the way her mother/grandmother used to when she was trained. The way her father did when he refused to hunt. The way the Mortal Queens did when Nesta merely asked them to save her people. The way Feyre did when she asked for Nesta's help again, and again, and again during the war, only for it to never be enough in the eyes of other. The way that Elain did when she got upset at Nesta time and time again for how she handled her trauma or how she wasn't over her trauma or how Nesta tried to protect her. The way Cassian dismissed her feelings when he got mad at her for having an opinion of Rhysand.

Nesta was angry. She had every right to be angry. Most people would be angry, and alone, and if they already had suicidal thoughts like Nesta, having been abandoned by everybody while gaslit into thinking it was fine, and then only called upon to be used for the benefit of others while the snickered behind her back and dismissed her again.

As the commenter put it; She was trying to find someone who would relate to her anger. Nesta wanted an ally, someone who wouldn't leave her alone. Someone to be by her side and, perhaps subconsciously, thought that Feyre, who'd hunted for them and helped look after them for years, would chose Nesta's side.

The parallels between Nesta and Feyre's situation here are clear, and I think Nesta understood that when she said what she said. I think that Feyre believing Nesta said it to hurt her was a gross misunderstanding on her part, but it's not like she ever asked Nesta how she felt. Now that I think about it, for all that Feyre talks about Nesta feeling too much, and taking everything to heart, she never once confirms with Nesta. Never asks how Nesta feels.

Since coming to the Night Court, Nesta's feelings and traumas have been twisted and spoken about only in relation to how Feyre feels.

'Do you know how embarrassed I was when we got the bill this morning and my friends-my family- had to hear all about it?'

The intervention began, not because of Nesta doing something to risk hurting herself, but because Feyre was embarrassed and started crying into her breakfast.

'All of it pains me… It pains me that Nesta has become… this. It pains me that she and Feyre are always at each other’s throats. It pains me that Feyre hurts over it, and I know Nesta does, too.'

Cassian is pained, not because Nesta is suffering so greatly that she isolated herself for her own sisters (who didn't really act like sisters between the end of ACOWAR to... well now, so it's understandable), or because Nesta felt her only reprieve from her pain was in sex and alcohol, but because Feyre hurts over it. He knows Nesta does (but he doesn't know she hates fire? Or is uncomfortable at their social gatherings, since in ACOFS he somehow hoped she wouldn't take the bribe money and say she enjoyed their solstice party??? Because...Why?) But, of course, it's Feyre's feelings on the matter that are prioritised.

'Nesta is Nesta. She does what she wants, even if it kills her sister.'

Rhysand, not that I expect much from him, honestly, is utpse, not because he can't find a way to help Nesta. Not because his court is actively cruel to Nesta, hell, he joins in. Not because Nesta is in pain, in no small part because of him and his court. Not even because Nesta is spending his money. Because she's upsetting Feyre. Because, god forbid, Nesta have trauma and handle it in a way that doesn't make his wife happy.

Feyre tells others how she thinks Nesta feels, the others go with it, or just come to their own conclusions, not sure which is worse, but nobody stops to consider how she feels. Feyre feeling like Nesta said it to hurt her, I think, is simply proof that she doesn't understand Nesta.

Let me ask you, if you found out you were lied to in a way that affects your ability to make informed decisions regarding your own body, by someone you were supposed to trust, and who should've had your back, and that your own sibling has been betrayed by the same people in a very similar, if not identical way, and yet you're the one being turned into the bad guy, and dismissed, would that not make you feel isolated and frustrated?

It's understandable that Nesta tried, either consciously or subconsciously, feel less alone by appealing to common ground to find an ally. Nesta mentions at the end of ACOSF that she believes Feyre loved her from the start, and after those years in the cabin, I think Nesta sees Feyre as someone reliable.

This scene doesn't feels like Nesta trying to hurt Feyre. It feels like Nesta trying to reach out to the one person she could rely on; Feyre. Her mother was abusive, her father was a deadbeat, Elain was her ward, and the IC hate her.

'Nesta studied me for a long moment. And then she said with equal quiet, though we could all hear, “I can’t get into a bathtub, anymore. I have to use buckets.” I hadn’t known—hadn’t even thought that bathing, submerging water…'

Amren tells Cassian to keep reaching out his hand, even though Nesta has reached out her own time and time again. Esspecially to Feyre, as she was the one Nesta relied on before. Possibly even the only person Nesta has ever relied on, and Fyre was the one she was trying to rely on now.

Nesta relied on Feyre, and needed to rely on her again. To have strength together, in a situation where they both lost their choices and autonomy to Rhysand and his (cause don't pretend it's even slightly Feyre's) IC.

It may have been wrong to say it in that way, at that time, under those circumstances, but this, to me, feels like Nesta's way of reaching out her own hand only to be misunderstood, punished, and dismissed again. And again. And again.

In a way, I think Feyre might have, unintentionally, betrayed Nesta in a worse way than Elain ever has. Elain was a ward. Almost like a child, to Nesta. They were never on equal footing. Moreover, Nesta was never punished if she upset Elain, no that she should be, or if Elain misunderstood her. Nesta never relied on Elain the way she relied on Feyre. She never trusted or had faith in Elain, the way she clearly trusted Feyre. She had thought she'd found an ally, with similar pain, in Feyre, in the moments she spilled the secret, but Feyre didn't care.

When I was reading the scene where Cassian told Feyre his idea to take Nesta on a punishment hike, she sounded all too gleeful when telling him how miserable Nesta would be. That, in my opinion, is the worst betrayal of all.

[rabarbarzcukrem]

The eternal opposing relationship between the two sides of a mirror

or: In defense of Shiori

I feel like Shiori is one of the most controversial characters in Utena. Some love her, others despise her. And I don't have a problem with people having strong opinions on her character. What bothers me is the tendency to exaggerate her most negative traits, focus on her most harmful actions, completely ignore any redeeming qualities she might have and then paint her as a one dimensional villainous caricature, a mean straight girl who plays with the lesbian's feelings for the sake of it, without anything deeper going on.

I'm aware of the fact that some people refer to her like that in endearment or in a satirical fashion, and I'm not saying that you can't consider her your favorite problematic evil girl representation. I'm only trying to make people realize that it's her complexity that actually makes her such a compelling character.

I've seen people call Shiori all sorts of names, some of which were baffling enough to make me wonder if they even remembered what happens in the show, and weren't just judging a version of the character that they made up in their head.

So, let's look at the things Shiori actually does, throughout the course of the story.

Disclaimer: I'm only going to take the series into the account here, because I think we can all agree that everyone's characterization and personality differs at least slightly in the movie. Background characters also get a lot less screen time to explain their motivations in order to fully focus on Anthy's journey and struggles, which is understandable.

1. She "steals" the boy from Juri.

This is her biggest crime, which seems to define her from the very beginning. Even though Juri didn't actually have any romantic feelings for him, this action is detrimental to their relationship - it breaks the trio apart, isolates Juri from the pair, is an act of betrayal against her and proves it was done with full awareness that it would hurt Juri emotionally.

Shiori is a deeply insecure person, who constantly feels inadequate and beneath other people. The only reason why Juri seemed to actually like her that Shiori could think of was pity, and even when she found out she was the object of her romantic affection all along, she still struggled to comprehend it. Her self loathing and constant perceived inferiority make her desperate to gain any sort of control over her life and relationships, but they're also the exact reason she feels that the only way she could ever do that is by hurting others. She's always one step below and incapable of crossing that distance, therefore the only way to become equal to people is to bring them down to her level, by humiliation.

When she "steals" the boy from Juri, she achieves that. For a moment, she feels good about herself and leaves Ohtori thinking that she has found the answer, the solution. But she's wrong. From that moment on, it becomes more and more apparent to her that what she did was never out of love for the boy, even though she doesn't let herself acknowledge it fully. Because the truth is, Shiori actually regrets hurting Juri, which she admits herself during her elevator confession.

When the guilt starts getting to her, her confidence high wears off, and she ends up feeling ever worse.

That's why she breaks up with him and comes back. She's not ready to leave yet, not ready to progress. There's still something binding her to Ohtori - Juri, and Shiori's unresolved feelings for her.

2. She tries to set things right with Juri and to fix their relationship.

Even though at this point Shiori still thinks that Juri only ever associated herself with her out of pity, she still makes several attempts to get closer to Juri, who understandably (albeit coldly) turns her down ever time. This is a very clear sign of conflicting feelings Shiori has for Juri - jealousy and admiration, resentment and longing, hate and love. After all, Shiori admits that the two practically grew up together. Their friendship may have always felt fake to Shiori, but she clearly cherished it deeply.

3. The Black Rose Arc.

First of all, we should establish what is the purpose of this arc and how it functions. It explores the motivations of background characters and shows their worst side to the audience. The characters that end up in the elevator are the most unstable, vulnerable ones, with the least power in the system, in unequal and/or exploitive relationships with the duelists and their agency under threat. Mikage offers them a way to gain that power by making them follow their most toxic, negative emotions. And despite all other characters doing exactly that, from what I've seen Shiori is the one that gets the most hate for it. I don't think she should be judged any harsher for what she did under the influence of the black rose than, let's say, Wakaba or Kozue. Especially because the reason all of them ended up in that elevator is because they recognized that these urges were harmful and were seeking help and counseling.

What this arc does do is reveal how Shiori's inferiority complex drives her to act against her own desires. Even though she longs for things to be different, even though she is not happy at all with how her relationship with Juri looks like, she is unable to fix it, because that would require her to consider her own affection for Juri. And she can't do that, because it would mean admitting that she's not stronger than Juri, that she hasn't beaten her, that she's doesn't have control and an advantage over her. Although she tries to keep up this smug, self-assured facade, the reality shines through.

They key to understanding Shiori is noticing that she specifically doesn't want to acknowledge that Juri's feelings are reciprocated, and the obsession is mutual. If you paint their relationship as one sided, you're actually falling for her act.

4. She enters a relationship with Ruka.

Ruka is a handsome (arguable), respected boy who appears out of nowhere and starts showing interest in Shiori. It's obvious that for an insecure girl, who in addition struggles with confusing repressed feelings, this would be something unthinkably wonderful. The affection and praise she gets from him is exactly what her low self-esteem craves. You might be wondering why she didn't perceive Juri's feelings for her in the same way. And a part of the answer might be that, post nameless-boy-incident, Juri was nothing but cold to her. She might have been pining after Shiori from afar, but in the end she's distant and untouchable, and they're divided by their messy past. Meanwhile Ruka is a clean slate, seems openly affectionate, engaged in their relationship and he pays attention to her. But I think the main thing that makes Ruka so different from Juri is the fact that...he's a boy. Because, as Revolutionary Girl Utena establishes, gender plays a crucial role in interpersonal dynamics. Attention from a boy is fundamentally coded as romantic, desirable, necessary and most importantly: increases the girl's worth in society's eyes. It makes one a princess. Meanwhile Juri's advances could only be seen as an invitation to friendship, at best. But Juri's status and beauty make her special, while Shiori is not. Therefore, it can only be pity and mockery.

Of course, Ruka only uses Shiori to influence Juri and dumps her as soon as he achieves his goals. It's true that Shiori could have listened to Juri's warnings, but then again... why should she? From her perspective, Juri's her ex-friend that doesn't want anything to do with her, who only suddenly comes to Shiori when she's finally happy and fulfilled, and encourages her to end it. She doesn't know the wider context of the situation, nor does she remember the Black Rose arc. Juri's warnings don't sound sincere to her.

And so, Ruka gets rid of her in the coldest, most indifferent way, not explaining anything or showing even the slightest sign of compassion. Before that though, he makes an interesting remark, about Shiori putting on an act and polishing somebody else's sword.

Honestly, I don't really know how to interpret it in any other way than Shiori actually having feelings for someone else, despite trying her hardest to conceal it. Are my shipping lenses not allowing me to see any different possibilities? Am I going crazy? I don't know.

Nevertheless, Shiori begs him to stay, devastated. Her life got turned around so suddenly, she found appreciation, status, comfort and stability, and now all that's been taken away from her as abruptly as it was given. It's a public humiliation.

I once heard someone say that this would be the perfect moment for Juri to step in and defend her. And to be honest, although it may be true, I'm not completely sure. It may have been the one display of open care that Shiori needed from her, but it might as well have been interpreted by Shiori as Juri affirming her superiority over her and feeling sorry for her again. We will never know. In my opinion, so much of their relationship is going on in their own heads that the only thing that could ever cause positive progress is communication (which neither of them seem to be a fan of).

Instead, Juri only tries to console her after the fact, when Shiori's at her absolute lowest. In the context of all the assumptions Shiori holds and Juri's previous indifference, it quite understandably comes off as a sneering attempt to gloat.

That's about it. You may have noticed that I've summarized all Shiori's appearances into 4 points, and only one of them includes an instance of Shiori hurting Juri voluntarily, out of her own free will, not influenced by anyone. I'm not saying that she was forced to taunt Juri during the Black Rose Arc, I'm not trying to diminish the suffering she's caused or trying to paint her as a perfectly good person. I am trying to make it clear that she is not some cunning plotter, dedicating every minute of her life to finding ways to make Juri suffer that some people seem to take her for. I am trying to humanize people's perception of her a little bit. Especially considering the fact that last scenes of her include those when she waits for Juri and follows her so that they can go home together, and then joins the fencing club. If this doesn't show that she's capable of change, I don't know what does.

She's not an innocent princess, that's true, but she's not just an egoistical, manipulative liar either. She's a bit of both. After all, if Revolutionary Girl Utena is supposed to teach you anything, then I think it's that we're all just people, and the complexities of human experience make it impossible to fit anyone into a box, assigning them definite labels like "princess" or "witch".

And if you look at a teenage girl who, like all people in Ohtori, struggle under the system of patriarchy and heterosexuality, and all you see is a wicked, sinister witch, then you may have just fallen into the trap that the narrative had set for you.

[indeliblemarking]

the more time passes the more convinced i am that shauna is definitely the more repressed one between her and jackie. you can see the depth of jackie’s despair at the life she forces herself to live when she’s alone or in shots that focus on her in an isolated location (when she’s in bed with jeff in the pilot etc) and it’s obvious that She Knows this isn’t what she really wants and that she isn’t happy but thinks that this is who she’s supposed to be and these are the shoes she has to fill. she even admits this to travis in doomcoming, she Pretends she doesn’t know if she loves jeff or not there’s no convincing and necessarily denial it’s an act for others and her own sake in the sense of how she’ll be perceived. even after jackie is dead and she’s aware that she’s in a meat shed playing sleepover with her corpse, she isn’t able to be honest with herself or even try to really look inward. not in how jackie would act through her subconscious creation of her ghost, not about why she slept with jeff, and this follows her into adulthood. (when she says that if her mind has repressed things she doesn’t want to know because it’s for a reason) and even re: Feelings for each other ™️ shauna may have been the only one to say i love you but if only one of them knew the depth of their feelings it was probably jackie. it also just makes sense in jackie’s approach to their relationship versus shauna’s.

[lovingdabeessss]

Mini ramble cause I’m tired I’ll expand later probably

Blake and Weiss have trouble with their emotions because of their different kinds of abuse they’ve experienced but they still clearly have them, you know? They talk about them and they talk about it a lot their was a whole arc that was just them talking about their emotions very loudly at each other so having the emotions or expressing it doesn’t really bother them that much

or at least not in every environment, Yang and Ruby are the safest space they got they’ll fight each other to the death around them if they’d let them if you want to have unsavory emotions and unsavory words they’re the two people they’re both comfortable doing it around

It seems like they’re biggest issue with having negative emotions is how other people perceive them and how others react and putting up a front around others unless really comfortable

(What an incredible life changing experience it must’ve been to have that kinda safe space with people who care about you for no reason other then because they do and not for any ulterior motive after so long of not feeling like that to love someone so much you could safely hate them and they’d still ask you include you in ever conversation, it’s like that one measurement of love and comfort where if your kid complains and whines about things you make them do to you then they love you and think your safe to be around and if they’re silent and obedient and distant they think your not)

However with Yang and Ruby it’s not a front they’re not pretending to not feel the emotions they’re actually just not feeling them

They’re refusing to outright

Ruby doesn’t vent till she’s in a universe where GRIM DONT EXIST and then the emotions overwhelm her so much she DIES

Yang does let herself have negative emotions but ONLY anger which is controlled and specifically when she can take that kinda heat she expresses anger not only with the acknowledgment of the risk to herself but also often when other people are also already upset

Yangs semblance is clearly designed to make it easier for her to take hits for others this expression of anger goes along with the fact that it lights her on fire and makes her big and bright she’s making herself a bigger target

Cough cough not subtle metaphor cough cough YOU KNOW LIKE WHAT YOU DO AGAINST BEARS?!?! GOLDILOCKS!?!?!? Cough cough not subtle metaphor cough cough

(And Yang and Ruby will sometimes have breakdowns because of this where everything totally boils over and they have no way of dealing with it and they end up sobbing but even then they usually manage to do it in a closed off room)

Their lives have been centered completely around becoming huntresses and surviving through and killing grim it’s been their whole lives if the grim are attracted to negative emotions it doesn’t matter if you don’t show it on your face it’s GETTING you

To be a hunter you have to choose either:

1- go fucking crazy (all of the teachers at beacon for whatever reason)

2- be good enough at your job to be mentally ill (qrow)

3- DIE

So they just couldn’t feel shit cause they didn’t hav the skill level as children to allow that and survive

And obviously they do feel these things but it’s SOO repressed (Ruby I believe less so but it’s still beneath the surface so she’s good)

Blake and Weiss had a ton of shit to worry about but Blake was always more focused on other people as enemies and only had to personally worry about that after she joined the white fang and learned how to fight and I GENUINELY believe that the forest with Ruby was the first time Weiss’s isolated SKY CITY looking ass ever saw a real grim in person and not her sisters fake ones

And I think this is just really interesting because of how long it might’ve taken Yang and Ruby to realize the difference between their partners and them and why I think it might’ve led to interesting interactions but they’d probably never outright talk about it with them because it might lead to emotions

[lifeofkaze]

Swept Away

A/N: This story was written as part of the @hphm-ship-week event. For Day 1, I picked the prompt 'Dance'. If this story feels weirdly familiar to you, it's because you've read it before from Lizzie's perspective, as to be perused in my story An Art of Balance here. (Also, if you want context lol.) Thanks for sticking with my rambling. Enjoy!

The crowd occupying the main room of The Three Broomsticks had become dense, and so it was only one moment after Penny Haywood had whisked away Lizzie that Orion lost sight of the two girls. He stared at the spot where they had disappeared, running over the conversation he’d just had with Lizzie - if one could even call it that - in his mind. He pulled a face. 

I’m good at catching things.

What a stupid thing to say. 

There was no triviality in the makings of the universe, every moment in it filled with sense that sometimes simply failed to show its meaning. Beyond self-consciousness, detached from any prejudice or assumption on how one wished to be perceived, lay the true freedom of being as one with the universe as he could possibly hope to be. And yet Orion was bewildered at how embarrassed his silly comment made him feel. It had not been a singular incident either; lately, he’d found himself saying a lot of stupid things when Lizzie was around. Whenever she was near, it was like he spoke without control.

He was broken from his thoughts by a group of students passing him by. He took a step backwards, the top of the counter hitting his back. The Weird Sisters were enticing so many people to flock to the dancefloor that even on the side of it, Orion was barely able to move. The crowd made him uncomfortable, and despite the people having a good time, he felt strangely isolated without a soul to talk to.

The group right in front of him moved, granting him a small glimpse of the dancefloor. Penny Haywood’s hair shone like a golden halo as she spun around her axis, a wide smile plastered to her face. Lizzie seemed to enjoy herself as well, jumping to the beat and singing along. The sight of her joy made the corners of Orion’s lips curl into a smile. For a fleeting moment, he considered joining her and Penny but abandoned the idea as quickly as it had arisen. Lizzie was like a butterfly on a blooming meadow, fluttering from flower to flower and spreading the beauty of her company. She could come to find him in her own time. And if she didn’t, who was he to demand her attention?

The music came to an end and the room before the makeshift stage cleared, allowing space for the couples Myron Wagtail was inviting to the dancefloor. Lizzie and Penny parted ways, and Orion’s heart lifted when Lizzie headed in his direction. She had already come halfway when, suddenly, she froze. Her head had turned to the side and, following her eyes, Orion saw why. Jason Everett - the new Beater of their Quidditch team - came pushing through the crowd towards her. 

Frowning, Orion watched him approach. His friend Murphy McNully had pointed out how Everett kept singling out Lizzie from her friends, and ever since, Orion had been unable to unsee it. Wherever she went, Everett was quick to follow; whenever there was a chance to catch her alone, he was sure to try and grab it.

He had almost reached Lizzie when she shook from her daze. Her eyes set on Orion, and with a couple of quick steps, she was by his side. Grabbing his arm, she pulled him towards the dancefloor. Equally as stunned as he was pleased, Orion followed without offering resistance. Still, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Shamelessly using my knight in shining armour a second time, I’d say.” 

As Lizzie’s eyes switched from the spot Everett had stood in to Orion she tailed off, appearing as if she was unsure what to do next. Almost shyly, she glanced at the couples surrounding them. It was an emotion so uncharacteristic of her bright spirit that Orion extended his hand to her.

“If you dragged me here for whatever reason we could as well go with the flow.”

Lizzie blinked, staring at his hand before tentatively taking it. Their first moments dancing were awkward, both unattuned to the other’s rhythm. They had spent years together on the Quidditch pitch, however, and soon found their common ground. Once they had done so they moved effortlessly, lifted by the notes drifting from stage and the silent understanding between them. 

Orion’s hand was resting just beneath the small of her waist and he could feel her moving against his palm, her hand warm and relaxed in his. Her other hand was lying on his shoulder, and Orion was aware of every inch it moved about, of every time she let go to spin around. A tingling sensation spread from where she touched him in a most unsettling way, making him both want to be closer and step away to regain control. She stepped into him and rose to her tiptoes to say something he could barely make out over the noise. When her breath brushed over his cheek, he swore he could feel his heart skip a beat. 

Lizzie had begun to relax, her initial shyness as if eradicated. She laughed as she finished turning, stepping even closer to him than before. Unbidden, Orion’s mouth pulled into a smile that mirrored hers. Her good mood was compelling, impossible to resist, and found himself wanting more of it, wanting…

Something shifted as their eyes met. They did not stop moving and yet it felt like they were separated from the crowd, suspended in a moment so intense it was almost tangible. The music ceased to reach Orion’s ear, the only sound filling his head his rapidly beating heart. The moment could have lasted hours or less than a second; Orion didn’t know. Then Lizzie blinked, and he exhaled slowly as she dropped her eyes from his. She laughed nervously and let go of him to push away the hair that had fallen into her face. When she put her hand back into his, Orion didn’t fail to notice how she hesitated, even if only slightly.

They took up dancing again, more quietly than before. After a couple of steps, the strand of hair Lizzie had just tucked away fell back into its former place and she put it away again. Having done so a couple of times, she pulled a face and tossed her head but still her hair obscured her eyes.

When it fell across her features next, Orion raised his hand without thinking, gently taking hold of the curl and tucking it behind her ear. His fingers brushed the side of her temple as he did so and Lizzie became still, eyes flying to meet his. Orion didn’t think he’d ever noticed just how blue and clear they were, like the ocean pervaded by sunlight. There was a ring of deeper blue around her pupils, something he had never noticed before either. He wondered if her eyes were just like her, clear and bright to those who looked at the surface but with so much more underneath; things yet uncovered, things unknown to anyone who didn’t bother looking. He longed to know these things, he realised.

“I’m surprised you wear your hair like that,” he murmured, as much to put Lizzie at ease as himself. Like before, he winced at how ridiculous he sounded. “I thought you hated having it in your face.” 

“It wasn’t exactly my choice. Andre forced this mess on me.” “You should not let others dictate your appearance, especially if you don’t feel like yourself,” Orion frowned. Before he could stop himself, he added, “But for what it’s worth, I think you look beautiful.”

Lizzie blushed. Her cheeks burned such a vivid red that it was visible even over the dimmed lights. She dropped her eyes and bit her lip, and said no more. Again, Orion cursed himself for his unusual rashness. His mouth might have broken free from the control of his mind, and yet the intentions of both had been to put Lizzie at ease, not make her more uncomfortable. It made him miserable seeing her self-conscious like this, so entirely unlike the naturalness of spirit she usually commanded. He wished he had held his tongue.

They were released from the awkwardness of the situation by the song's coming to an end. Afraid Lizzie would drop his hand, Orion let go first, inclining his head with what was supposed to be an encouraging smile. He hoped Lizzie would read in what he wanted it to convey - that he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable on his behalf. That first and foremost, he was her friend and this had been nothing but - a moment between friends. A fun, beautiful, intoxicating moment that gave the spot on his shoulder where her hand had lain gravitas, and that still made his palm tingle where it had rested against her waist and…

Consciously pulling his thoughts away from the undue direction they were headed in, Orion gave Lizzie an almost imperceptible bow and turned, fleeing from the dancefloor and the crowd still pressing in on him as fast as he could without running. 

[blues-valentine]

Now here’s my TSITP take that no one asked for but I finally caught up to it out of boredom and while I am not invested in any pairing and couldn’t care less about the endgame, there’s some things I’ve seen (particularly in this site) and surely I’m not the only one with this opinion because Jeremiah being considered a healthier or better alternative for Belly is legit so wrong.

I can understand why some people would prefer Jeremiah because on the outside he looks like someone that could make Belly happier since he isn’t “complicated” but him being painted as the healthier alternative to Conrad is like, wrong, Jeremiah has alarming red flags that are often ignored by his supposedly “golden retriever” persona and that’s often way more damaging long term.

The constant anger and resentment issues that results of him feeling inferior to Conrad, often seeing their entire dynamic like a competition that extends to Belly, that has been clear by his actions and narrative. I’m shocked people on this fandom pretend this isn’t a clear narrative choice. He often speaks about how Conrad is perceived as the smart one, the athletic one, the responsable one, and in general the favorite child. Of course, he gets annoyed that Belly might be into him too. It’s always been more about Conrad than it is about Belly. He projects a lot of the insecurities he feels towards Conrad on Belly. He constantly feels the need to remind her “he is the better option” out of not reason and it feels like he is looking for the moment Conrad fails or mess up as if he is counting the scores. Him only making a definitive move on Belly after he sees Belly and Conrad almost kissing — and then he fires a rocket to stop them. I see this being a whole comedic discourse but that’s a major red flag. He cannot possibly have a healthy relationship with her if he feels like he constantly needs to measure up to Conrad. After that 4th of July episode, it’s very easy to see him trying to manipulate and sabotage Conrad with Belly and purposefully make him run late. And he does so intentionally. He knows he is being sneaky. He knows he is inserting himself in there. And I’m not saying he doesn’t like Belly, he does, but why denying that his main motivator isn’t his own bother.

Now, I’m not saying Conrad isn’t also annoying. He was written as the early 00’s broody type of bad boy and I feel the series it’s trying to fix it by showing more of him but it lacks in writing. I feel he needed more polishing to take him out of the archetype. However, Conrad’s approach narratively makes sense. It’s not like he’s being that just by pure aesthetic. Jeremiah thought out Season 1 is living a complete different reality as Conrad. So, of course he feels more laidback and funny. He doesn’t know his mom is dying. He doesn’t know his dad cheated on his mother. Only Conrad knows that. Of course, it would affect his behavior to the point he is emotionally detached. Even the narrative itself tells you Conrad usually isn’t this emotionally constipated or disengaging, and that smoking is also a new behavior. The constant need to make him feel like a villain is so weird because he is clearly depressed and self isolating. Both in Season 1 and throughout Season 2. It’s called grieving the death of your mother. All of them have their own ways of dealing with their grief.

And the funny this is — Conrad knows he isn’t in the right mental state to be with Belly right now. He tries, cause you’re allowed to be happy while depressed but he clearly wasn’t able to handle the grieving process, so he puts Belly’s happiness (or what he thinks she needs) over his own cause he doesn’t think he can provide her with what she needs at the moment (and he is right about that!). He isn’t problematic. I am confused about this. Particularly because while I think he could be clearer with Belly, most of it it’s not his fault entirely. And I’ve been told that by the end of the series, Conrad isn’t the same person he was at the start. He is a mature and emotionally open young man with a medical career that he loves that has learned to deal with grief. And those are very qualities you already see on the show.

Mind you, Jeremiah’s anger and resentment towards Conrad is totally valid and I feel is more on Susannah’s and his dad upbringing that just created that animosity but isn’t it the reason why people perceive Jeremiah as a ”healthier” alternative more to do with the fact his “red flags” aren’t as visible and Conrad’s grieving process is not that “palatable” to audiences?

And the love triangle isn’t even about who is better for Belly — this is a journey about grief that frankly should’ve been the core of the story. The way I see it, Conrad’s grieving process is self isolation. Jeremiah’s grieving process is anger. And Belly’s grieving process is denial. And the majority of the time Belly is reading Conrad’s feelings as him not being as into her as she is — which is untrue. Conrad’s problem is not knowing how to communicate those emotions to her. And Belly’s swimming in insecurities that she projects on Conrad. And she’s also a people pleaser and that has been very obvious on her coddling of Jeremiah. At the end of the day, I will always root for the female character getting the one she truly loves and that clearly isn’t Jeremiah. He isn’t the love of her life and this isn’t some story about second love. It’s about two people not being ready to be together for specific circumstances. Jeremiah is the one that was going to lose here. He inserted himself into this mess. He knows Belly and Conrad will always exist in some capacity that he’ll never be able to measure. He knows his brother loves her. And he knows Belly’s lying to herself about Conrad. So, why is he continuing a game that he knows he’s bound to lose? I genuinely believe that he knows how it will end so it’s going to be hard for me to feel bad for him when the inevitable thing happens.

And I’m also over the whole “Conrad was away while Jeremiah took care of their dying mother!” because that’s not an objective take. Conrad was at university studying to become a doctor. He should not be fault for trying to seek some normalcy after keeping most of the secret himself for months. Jeremiah wasn’t handling those bills himself. Laurel was also legit there the entire time. And I’m sure they also hired a caregiver. Instead of putting the blame and responsibility on teenagers — you should be wondering where was their own father, because divorce isn’t an excuse to not take care of your kids. And the show would benefit from making them build a better relationship as brothers than focusing on a “love triangle” that has a very definitive endgame, hence isn’t surprising.

[wildpeachfarm]

yesh i totally agree i think people are not wanting to compare cases for that and bc some feel Bad comparing two different cases but people are not comparing to Say beau is like caiti. Some are doing to show what Even Beau Said if i remenber correctly that he would be a good person if he ackwonledge her hurt and offered an apology. I don't think it's SA just like what happened to caiti but his reaction to her hurt and his Friends reaction are the differences that make them shitty.

I general i know people on social media have difficulties being calm about anything bc being on apps that wants US to feel strong emotions and being online 24 hrs fucks up out ability to take things slowly, that's why i thank people like You for keeping the calm and being reasonable

Yes I definitely think emotions will always take over people in these situations and people will never learn to just sit back and look at the facts and lay everything out.

And I don't think people are comparing Beau to Caiti at all (at least I'm definitely not lol) but I do think the similarities in situations need to be talked about because this is yet another situation of mixed signals, and perceived consent, and a claim of SA that I'm not sure is entirely accurate to the facts of the situation (although again, I will reserve my opinion until we hear from all sides because there is always three sides to a story: person A's side, person B's side, and the truth)

Again, this all centers around a lack of communication from either side in the moment and, in this situation specifically, his inability to accept that he did hurt her even if it was unintentional and his lying about it and isolating her was probably the worst thing he could've done in response. That doesn't make him look like a good person.

I think overall we need to be rid of the black-and-white thinking about defining SA when you are making public accusations like this because not only does it muddle the definition, but it doesn't take into account well-meaning individuals who got incredibly mixed signals (like beau saying she had dreams of kissing him and that they should act them out which /could/ be a signal of wanting this guy to kiss her). We are completely removing "innocent until proven guilty" in the eyes of twitter by saying "it's SA and I won't hear otherwise" which is ....not good at all lol (because as soon as that's the normal standard, we are truly fucked and marginalized groups WILL be the first target of this- as they have been repeatedly in the past)

Also, I'm going to take a page from Britanny Simons on this because it's always an important disclaimer to add to discussions about consent and verbal consent in romantic situations: most of the world does not ask for consent before kissing someone. That's just a fact of life. It's a very "online" concept to ask for verbal consent before giving someone a peck on the lips.

Would it be great if people thought of consent more in dating culture? yes of course! But that's just not the reality of where we are in the timeline of society right now. So I think some people also need to be more realistic, and understanding, and give people the benefit of the doubt more instead of assuming malice and assault right off the bat. It does no one any good. It actually just leads to more emotional and mental distress in the long run.

[eastgaysian]

Sorry this is a dumb question but can you explain why tomshiv is not abusive? Shiv seems to hit a lot of textbook behaviours of emotional abusers

thank you for your follow up clarifying this was in good faith bc i checked my inbox yesterday right after getting high and was like man come on. don't do this to me. but yeah i can talk about it, it's obviously something i have a fair amount of thoughts on

on a fundamental level, i take issue with the assertion that there are 'textbook behaviors of emotional abusers' in the first place. distilling abuse down to a set of behaviors is, imo, effectively meaningless and totally unproductive. it's not the behavior of an individual that defines abuse, it's a specific and intentionally cultivated imbalance of power and control within a relationship. victims of abuse can and do resort to survival mechanisms that could be considered in isolation as 'abusive behavior', the point is that you can't consider them in isolation. there's a gulf of difference between the same actions when they're coming from a person in a position of significant financial or physical or social power over someone else, or when they're coming from the person at a disadvantage.

i think viewing abuse as a set of behaviors also encourages you to treat interpersonal abuse as if it's discontinuous with systemic abuse, which is inaccurate and unproductive. a key part of succession's premise is that, because the family is literally the business, the familial abuse within the roy family is inextricable from the broader systems of capitalism, patriarchy, and the sexual violence and abuse endemic to them. with regards to how the show satirizes and critiques these systems, i think it's very telling that all of the characters are to some degree complicit and/or participants in abuse, but logan is the only one i'd say is unambiguously and intentionally presented as 'an abuser' (whose abuse is not an isolated product of him as a person, but integrated into/inseparable from the capitalist system which persists after his death). still, logan isn't reduced to a one-dimensional angry, abusive dad, he's given depth and complexity. his continued insistence that he loves his children isn't treated as something that's untrue, but that doesn't make it inherently good, and it certainly isn't incompatible with him abusing them.

circling back to tom and shiv. their relationship is unhealthy, it's not good for either of them to be married, shiv does fucking awful things to tom and tom does awful things right back, i'm not questioning any of that. but at my most cynical and bitchy, what it comes down to is quite simply: shiv doesn't have enough power over tom to be abusive, systemically or personally.

the thing is sometimes you see people say 'wow, if the genders were reversed people would say tom and shiv's relationship is unambiguously abusive!' which... hrm, but really the issue is that. the genders are the way they are, that's for a reason, and yes, that does make a significant difference in how we perceive their relationship and power dynamics. tom holds very real and present power over shiv as a man and as her husband, proposing to her when she was vulnerable in a way that placed huge pressure on her to accept and then trying to get her to have his baby so he can become patriarch. shiv's the heiress with the legitimacy of her family name and generational wealth but she is continuously, unavoidably subjected to gendered discrimination and violence. she's never allowed direct access to real power - she has to rely on the men around her, her husband or her brothers, and if they don't feel like humoring her she's shit out of luck.

this doesn't cancel out like a math equation, but it definitely makes things much more complicated than shiv being an Evil Bitch Wife to her Poor Pitiful Husband. when shiv finally does push tom too far, he immediately, successfully, goes over her head to her abusive father to fuck her over. maybe shiv wants to be her father in her relationships and exert the same kind of control he does. but she doesn't and she can't! she does not have that power! she cannot stop tom from kicking back and his hits are significant. as much as she might like to pretend otherwise, tom not only has always had the power to leave in a way shiv doesn't, he had and has the power to fuck her up badly, and he's used that power. that is simply not the power dynamic between abuser and victim to me.

i also have to say that abuse is not always going to be definitive black and white. in real life there are plenty of unambiguous situations but there are also plenty of complicated situations, and applying judgments to fiction is not always straightforward. i can't exactly call someone 'wrong' for personally being uncomfortable with tom and shiv's relationship or believing shiv is abusive, but i'm very skeptical of the viewpoint and the motivations or assumptions that are often contained within. if shiv is abusive, she definitely isn't uniquely so among the cast, so you had better be applying that label and any associated moral judgments equally across the board.

[bestworstcase]

We’re all having fun here, so following the throughline of the possibility that Summer trained Cinder, and Summer instilled her ideals of what it means to truly be a huntress in Cinder: Do we think there was any turmoil, delicious conflict, between Summer, Cinder, and Salem after Atlas fell and Summer’s daughters died? (reports of their deaths were greatly exaggerated) Does Summer double down after that loss? Does doubt creep in, as it must have before with Oz? If Summer left to right a grievous wrong, and to make the world safer for her daughters, FREE their world, and lost Yang & Ruby before she could return to them. How do you see the fallout of her daughter’s “alleged” deaths impacting Summer’s resolve? How much has Cinder divulged? The same lie she told Salem? Does she tweak it for her audience? If Summer replicates Rhodes in her mind, how does Cinder parry Summer’s anguish and fury? I love the image of Summer defending Cinder from attack and all the implications to their relationship. Oooo I want it to be messy and fraught! Let it hurt! Reveal the core of tragedy, love and grief.

i think abt this a normal amount :)

(<- has written fic. one day i’ll polish it up and post it but only god knows when)

my first presupposition is that it will be salem who tells summer what happened. how she does so will depend upon what additional details she is able to coax cinder into sharing with her whilst en route to beacon and what she may be able to extrapolate from that information: if salem knows of the ever after (as her allusion to the blacksmith in WOR: aura implies), and she can get cinder to tell her how team rwby “died,” i think she might feel relatively confident that summer’s daughters are neither dead nor in an especially dangerous predicament.

in that case, the news salem shares with summer is that her daughters fell through the staff during the battle for atlas and are in all likelihood alive in another realm, one to which the staff can create an entrance. this is not altogether bad news; at worst summer has a different set of worries than before (her daughters are on the frontlines -> her daughters are in an otherworld and might face unknown dangers). the tension in this scenario arises from the implicit promise that salem intends to rescue summer’s daughters from this other place once the war has been ended, which will no doubt infuriate cinder.

otherwise, if either salem doesn’t know about the ever after or cinder refuses to elaborate, salem does have to tell summer that her daughters are dead. that is a kind of grief salem understands intimately—she is still, still mourning her own daughters and hating herself for causing their deaths—and if she cares for summer even the tiniest bit i think it will be very difficult for her to say. but the reason i think it will nevertheless be salem who breaks the news is that she cannot lose cinder too; one reason this situation is so juicy is that it’s… this again:

except this time it is salem finding herself in hazel’s shoes as the bearer of bad news with consequences she expects to fall upon someone she wants desperately to protect from harm. “i take full responsibility”/“but that wouldn’t be fair, now, would it? we all know who’s truly to blame.”

for cinder fall, spring can wait. if there is anyone in the world salem would lie for, anyone in the world for whom she would take the blame for something she did not do, it’s cinder. and if there is anyone in the world who knows salem well enough to perceive that she’s lying and understand why, it’s summer.

i do think that salem cares for summer as much as she does cinder and that summer likewise cares for both salem and cinder; the narrative purpose of isolating These Three together at beacon under these circumstances at this juncture is unclear if they don’t. there is also a great deal of trust between salem and summer rose: salem has no doubt of summer’s loyalties after more than a year without progress in vale, summer had to trust that salem would keep her word to spare yang and ruby. (which salem did.)

so:

telling summer that her daughters are dead is going to be very distressing for salem; she knows exactly how painful it will be for summer to hear. but she has to protect cinder. because she can’t be sure how summer will react, the safest course is to take the blame herself. if that means summer hates her, betrays her, leaves her, so be it.

summer has known salem for fourteen years, and she’s quite likely known cinder longer than she knew her own daughters. she has also had fourteen years to think about the path she chose and ample opportunity in these last sixteen to eighteen months to change her mind. if she knows salem well enough to see her distress and realize the lie, what runs through her mind in that moment? (salem would not have killed her daughters, nor allowed them to be harmed if she could stop it; but cinder had reason to want ruby dead, and salem can’t bear to lose her.)

i think, for summer, what it probably comes down to is not trust or sunk cost but the choice to forgive or not. because she could retaliate, if she chose. summer has silver eyes. cinder murdered her daughters.

but. fourteen years, she’s been working with salem; cinder is also the girl she trained, and sixteen, eighteen months ago when summer got to the top of beacon tower, she chose to get cinder to safety and left ruby lying there unconscious. does she not also care for them? is she not also agonizingly aware that she is as responsible for the deaths of her children as salem is, for igniting this war in the first place? can she not also understand why cinder felt the need to do the things she did?

it’s such an awful, impossible thing, but summer’s heart has always been split down the middle by the fault lines of this war, and the woman who killed her daughters is the one she chose to protect over ruby the last time she had to make the choice, that night atop beacon tower. is there any question of vengeance when this is her family too?

which is the second crack in cinder’s view of the world and will, i suspect, take salem very much by surprise also. AND THEN THERE’S TAI… to whom cinder is just a murderer. he’s the wildcard because i truly have no idea how he might react, other than really badly.

but for summer i think the emotional center of gravity has to be forgiveness, both for narrative reasons and based on what the clues we’ve been given about her fate hint about who she is. the conversations in the ruins of beacon will be very interesting to watch.

[liquidstar]

I've seen a lot of people in the Re:zero community hate puck with a passion and call him a hypocritical toxic father, and a good portion of them accuse him of deliberately mentally abusing Emilia so that she can be a naive pretty doll with no sense of independence and always obey him unconditionally.

How do you feel about that?

i dont think theyre wrong per say but i also do think puck genuinely loved emilia a lot- i dont think this is something up for debate. he will literally end the world if she dies. but is that what she would want??? i highly doubt it. emilia is a girl who would die for a world that has been nothing but cruel to her.

puck was never really meant to be a father, like, thats not what he was made for. hes the beast of the end not the beast of paternal love. but thats also something about him i find compelling, because he changed so much of himself because he loved this girl so much. his mentality is literally "if anything happens to her ill kill everyone in the world and then myself"

but he does baby her. extremely so. and he does treat her like a doll. remember part of their contract is literally that he does her hair, and thats why she chops off in greed:if as an act of rebellion (normal teen girl behavior honestly). he also literally never told her what sex is- shes 17 and she had no clue, and its played off as a joke at first, but subaru's "damn you puck" rings so true.

remember in wrath:if it was puck who pitched a deal with suabru to keep emilia trapped in the "princess room" away from all the danger. the whole princess room thing (in wrath:if and also in her childhood) is symbolic of her loss of autonomy in a lot of ways, especially when you remember she's NOT a princess. she's a candidate to be a KING!

and there are more damning things within their contract too, like how she literally wasnt allowed to SEE HER OWN FACE! its not made super clear in the anime, but whenever she looks at reflections she actually doesnt see anything back (not because she doesnt have one, but that she herself isnt perceiving it. and i think a lot of this also comes back to the self-recognition theme of the story, the whole reflections though eyes motif and all. remember how much of her we saw reflected only through subaru's eyes? she doesnt actually see her own reflection until she jumps inside the lake in the trial)

but i think thats also a big part of why he broke her contract with her to begin with. i think he knows she hasnt been allowed to grow up, that shes been overly babied, isolated, and kept away from things that might potentially make her feel bad. including her past, and even her present and future... breaking the contract off all at once isnt a good way to do this, i mean, her mental breakdown was so emblematic of that. but i think its important to look at what it all means for the meta narrative.

the latter half of arc 4 was absolutely emilia's arc, and a lot of it was her sort of growing up. i dont think cold turkey is a great way for a parental figure to do this to their child, but emilia was so incredibly dependent. and a lot of that was because puck MADE her dependent to begin with. for so much of her life she literally only had him... like. she was all alone in complete isolation in a frozen forest for as far back as she can remember, and everyone in the world hated her for reasons she didnt understand, and all she had was this little cat thing to be her friend. OF COURSE shes dependent on him, and of course she thinks she cant do stuff on her own (shes so fucking scared of being alone), and i think puck sort of depended on this mindset to keep her a "child" for as long as possible

but she had to grow up eventually. she's 18, maybe almost 19 by this point of the story (still unclear exactly which month we're in) and this is just as much her coming of age story as it is subaru's. (but speaking of subaru puck also guilt trips him quite a bit about emilia's deaths, even when he himself is "gone at the most important times" in emilia's words, which is not only hypocritical but also manipulative!)

all this being said i seriously love puck as a character because when he was first introduced i was like "oh god. annoying mascot character. boring" and then the beast of the end reveal happened and i was like "oh so this is going in the kyubey ripoff direction. i guess that makes sense for a dark fantasy but idrc" BUT THEN he actually ends up being like. an actual character w a lot of depth and nuance to him, a lot of it being how incredibly fucking sketchy he actually is but in a completely different way than just "evil twist mascot." between him and matsumoto from vivy, i love how tappei handles mascot characters- theyre a really hard thing to get right w/o being annoying LOL.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

https://www.tumblr.com/precious-little-scoundrel/759354095322759168/why-does-lu-genuinely-go-through-the-most

Oh! I have things to say about this and about some of this Spencer stuff. I 100% agree with what you’ve said Marina and in addition to that, I think something that survivors of SA can really struggle with is being perceived. And when you consider that 1) Ida witnessed Lu’s assault, 2) That the SS took over and made sickening comments about it and 3) That she and her relationships with Bucky and Gale were so sexualized after the war, I think her sense of autonomy and self worth is just so fucked and I could 100% see that being the reason she isolated herself. Like it really is just not wanting to be seen and understood by people who know all that about her. Spencer is new, he wasn’t there during the war and I think she finds a sense of control in the fact that she is making the choice of staying with him despite him being so awful to her. The cruelty that she endures from him is TO her as a person, not as some sort of vessel for some big agenda. And in addition to her issues with self worth and feeling dehumanized and such, I think it all numbs her down and she prefers feeling bad to feeling nothing. And her desire to not be perceived already informs her isolating herself and I think it would also inform why she isn’t willing to divulge any info about her and Spencer.

Oooh this is a hot take, I like it! The whole driving concept of being perceived!! 🙂‍↕️

[brionysea]

Question for you: How do you think a one-on-one convo between madwheeler pre-s4 would go from Mike's pov?--like how do you think he would treat/talk with Max, who's isolating herself/depressed? Because I've seen a lot of fics with that premise, but it always seems to be them only talking about their relationships (whether it be Byler or Mileven in Mike's case, or Lumax with Max. Which I don't have an issue with, it's just not always the main focus I want on Madwheeler), but rather how Mike perceives Max post s-4. Sorry if this is rambly and doesn't make sense, I'm struggling with getting in Mike's head, and you're obviously very good at interpreting his character.

answer for you: according to the one (1) season 4 episode where max and mike were both in hawkins, the dynamics with max and the party pre-s4 seem to be as follows:

lucas chases after her at school and tries to get her to talk about her feelings and/or go to his basketball games. she's not into it, but she listens to the games on the radio at home anyway

dustin chases after her at school and tries to get her to hang out with the group (hellfire) (max doesn't seem to like eddie) (it's a d&d group - a game she had no interest in before she lost all capability to care about the things she previously enjoyed). she's not into it, makes fun of him for missing her sarcasm, and skates away

and mike, instead of doing any of that and making her feel cornered (or worse, pitied) when high school is already bad enough, leaves her the hell alone.

some people (non-madwheeler understanders) would think that means that mike just doesn't care or their friendship isn't Like That. those people would be incorrect. bothering each other and cheering each other up while they're in the Mental Health Trenches is what max and mike do. just look at the skateboard scene

madwheeler always have their Friendship Moments when no one else is around. the gym scene, the conversation in the byers kitchen, when mike called max's house and nobody else could hear both sides, when max radioed mike at the sauna, watching el get a coke can out of the bin together, after they both got knocked out by billy. it's a very private friendship, so playing into the "there's more here than meets the eye" concept and having them possibly share things with each other that they otherwise wouldn't share with anyone makes a lot of cohesive sense - even if it's just in a "distracts you from The Horrors until you blurt it out in a fit of annoyance" way, like what happened when max first heard about el from mike

people just think it's all fighting because that's all they see, but even that is always in an attempt to make each other better. and it always works eventually (although if we're being technical, the dynamic is max trying to make mike better, while mike tries to keep max safe). mike wouldn't fight with max when she's depressed though, i believe that's only a yearly occasion for the single week we jump back into these people's lives when tensions are high as a kite. if he was around during season 4 he would have fought with max over her willingness to self sacrifice (you know, like a hypocrite)

simply put, mike doesn't push because he gets it, which is exactly why max tolerates him more than the other two - she pushed through the crowd to stand next to mike at the pep rally while she ran away from the others when they seeked her out later - and might even open up a little. s2 mike and s4 max, both dealing with the trauma of witnessing a death (where the person's last words were directed at them) and feeling responsible for it while the world moves on and nobody else seems to care, are the same. mike knows that max doesn't want to hang out like everything's normal or talk about her feelings and admit that it's not. especially not with lucas, who has plenty of reasons to hate billy, and max is selfless enough to not want to add her own messiness into it. max's mother's distance would resonate with mike too

the thing about mike interacting with any of his friends is that he's the most persistent person who's ever lived. he called el every day for a year; he probably did the same for will after the byers moved; he wouldn't stop radioing lucas in season 1 until he answered; he would not shut up about trying to get in contact with dustin in season 3. mike doesn't give up. what this means for max, is that once he's sure she won't mind him being there (and even if she does, a little bit, but that might just be the Performatively Hating Each Other part before they get back to enjoying each other's company, so he's gonna stick it out regardless), he'd kinda just... be there. and continue to be there. they might talk, they might not, but he knows that it sucks to be alone like this and he's not gonna let that happen to max if he can help it

this last bit is kind of just a headcanon of mine, but i like to imagine that if mike ever searched for an Activity that max actually enjoyed (dustin's got the right idea, but at the same time the wrong idea), he would try to bug her into teaching him how to skateboard. their conversation in the gym was heading in that direction before el interrupted, so there's the connection to the Mental Health Trenches and implicitly returning the favour of that kindness and moment of connection (even though mike really wasn't doing great pre-s4 either, but whatever), and something about the "bambi on ice" line in lenora makes me think it could be something max said to him when he fell over once

[purrincess-chat]

Can we just talk about the Adrinette angst this season though? Because while I am living for Adrien realizing his feelings for Marinette, I am also dying inside.

Adrien loves Marinette because he perceives that she is a good friend that listens to him and offers him support and tries to cheer him up when his hellstorm of a home life gets him down. She is someone he trusts and actively seeks when he needs someone to talk to about his depression and worries and fears and desires. Name another time in canon when something with his home life was bothering him, and he immediately told someone exactly what was going on and how it was making him feel? That moment in Passion where he bumps into Marinette and immediately tells her he's feeling down and why is huge for someone who otherwise just buried his feelings before and didn't talk about them to anyone except his kwami that no one else knows about and who isn't equipped to help him with human stuff. Adrien's relationship with Marinette means so much to him, and he thinks so highly of her, is so comfortable with her, and cares for her so deeply.

And that's why Marinette forcing herself to abandon her feelings and run away from him is so fucking heartbreaking.

Adrien's home life is so shit, even when he perceives it to be getting better, we know what the adults in his life are up to. He knows the people he loves are mysteriously sick and probably dying. He's been emotionally neglected and abused, psychologically controlled, isolated, lied to, used. And now he finally has a person that he feels like he's safe with, someone he can let his guard down with and confide in, and she's running away from him for seemingly no reason in his eyes??

And before anyone types up some paragraph, this is not salt directed at Marinette. Anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows I would never, so go ahead and hit that backspace because we the audience know why she is doing what she's doing. Marinette has her own share of trauma and guilt that she shouldn't have ever had to deal with. It's also not her job to coddle Adrien, so go ahead and shut the fuck up. I get it. But from a narrative perspective, the angst is just so perfectly heartbreaking, and I just want to hug them both because they love each other but are just dealing with so much shit outside of their control right now that it's impossible for them to be together. I'm really curious for the kwamis choice episodes bc we get to explore what would happen if they suddenly didn't have the weight of the world coming between them, and I'm screaming, crying, throwing up at the fluff possibilities but also knowing it will inevitably end bc they will have to go back to their responsibilities after having a taste of what could be, and I know it's going to destroy me emotionally. 😥😥💔

Anyway, these kids will be the death of me, and I am living for the day that they finally know each other's identities and kiss each other on the mouth knowing that information and knowing that they've been there by each other's side the whole time and how deeply they both love each other. This season is gonna fuck me up, and I'm going to say thank you. Anyway, that's all I just have a lot of feelings about them rn.

[endofradio]

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR ABIGAIL OC — SYLVIE/AVA!

what kind of music does she like? what are her habits? does she have any flaws/insecurities? is she an early bird or night owl? what was her childhood like? what is her favorite color? what does she do in her free time/what are her hobbies? what is her favorite movie/film genre?

—you don't have to answer all of them if you don't want to. i know it's kind of a lot but i'm just curious! 💕💕

oh my god these questions are PERFECT!!!

answered this one in a previous ask but i’ll answer it again in more detail! she primarily listens to punk, goth, and 80s indie, but she also likes classical music and some 60s music (particularly the velvet underground). she loves music with poetic lyrics.

she’s prone to pacing around and fidgeting with her hands a lot when anxious. when she was younger she used to pick at her skin a lot too.

oooo this is a great one. sylvie’s quite anxious and depressed and doesn’t trust many people (but when she does place her trust in someone like frank, she can be too trusting). probably her biggest insecurity is how she perceives herself. she’s insecure about whether or not she’s worthy of love, because all she knew most of her life was just rejection and hurt. that’s kinda contributed to her relationship with frank and why she’s drawn to him — he’s insensitive, tough, and cold compared to her, and sylvie believes that her life would be easier if she was like that. she’s insecure about how emotional she is and how attached she gets. another flaw of sylvie’s is how she is easily prone to blaming herself for things. even if something isn’t her fault, she finds a way to believe it is. for example, she often believes that it’s her own fault she’s never received real love — she’s convinced she’s unlovable, and believes that her adoptive parents were right for treating her cruelly (i’d say that’s where her self esteem problems started). in her words, “they would’ve loved me if there wasn’t something wrong with me.”

definitely a night owl… especially when she became a vampire

her childhood was… not great and is one of the key reasons why she’s the way she is. at a young age, sylvie was given up and spent a lot of her early childhood hopping to and from different foster homes, with most of them being poor experiences. eventually, she was finally adopted. at first, she had hope that she would finally have a family, but the older she got, the less kind her parents became, with her mother being the worst to her in particular. she was also a bit of an outcast in school, which didn’t help her feel any less isolated.

she has a handful of favorite colors, but her top three are black, red, and purple.

sylvie is super creative. in her free time, she enjoys listening to music, drawing, painting, and writing. at some point in her life, she picked up playing guitar and can also play bass!

sylvie loves horror movies as well as 60s french new wave films. she’s also a big sucker for beautiful and depressing movies.