#and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much

[bunnihearted]

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[wakanai]

.

[marsixm]

neuroses ruining yr life is a real missing the forest for the trees type beat but man im trying to see

[whilomm]

EAS SYSTEM TEST FAQ:

"huh what"

theres a test of the emergency alert system (EAS) for the united states on wednesday oct 4th 2023, 2:20 pm est (with a second test planned on the 11th if this ones canceled). its the system they use for amber alerts, weather alerts (like tornados/floods/hurricanes), stuff like that. will be sent to TVs, radios, phones, even if alerts are muted as far as i know

"what why"

bc they gotta test emergency systems sometimes. this happens on occasion.

"what is the government planning this is suspicious"

no its not its just. a standard test. they happen. we just havent had this specific type of phone one for a few years, they dont gotta test it as often as like. physical tornado sirens.

"okay but like are they trying to instill terror this reminds me of the terrorism threat leve-"

if they were doing that they wouldnt have been warning people of the upcoming test several months in advance

"why havent i seen it anywhere except for tumblr"

bc u havent like. paid attention to news stuff.

"okay well how do i verify this how do i know this isnt a hoax????"

....search for the news articles pictured above and read them.

"okay but WHY this is ANNOYING why is it in the MIDDLE OF SCHOOL/WORK"

bc systems gotta be tested on occasion to make sure they aint broken when you actually need them, and probs the time with the least risk of waking ppl up and making ppl even more angry

"i completely understand the purpose and i dont think its a government conspiracy but i still dislike it bc loud sounds/secret phone/epilepsy/whatever other reasons ive seen ppl site"

yeah 100% fair, thats why i and others are trying to warn so that ppl arent caught off guard (even if my warning was missing info like the time bc im dumb), i set a couple of notifs to pop up beforehand so i dont forget and get surprised, do what u gotta do to keep urself chill. shut off your phone, wrap it in blankets, be in another room from all ur tech while the test is happening, wear earplugs, etc. hope you're good!

"that thing about phones still going off when turned back on..."

oh yeah idk if thats true or nah. but eh, better safe than sorry, assume ur phone may or may not still be loud when u turn it back on, and plan for it if needed. idk where ppl are getting this tho and havent seen it verified myself. just be careful if this applies to you. maybe shove it into a blanket before turning it back on.

"is it gonna activate my covid vaccine mind control nanotech"

idk man probably not

"YAAAAAY EXTREMELY LOUD SOUND WEDNESDAY!!!!"

omgg yayyy!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[separatedleoau]

One's favorite food and animal? Does he know...Lou Jitsu? (I don't know if I wrote it right)

Will your Usagi be Miyamoto or Yuichi?

Any recommendations of songs that you like?

What inspired you to create One?

How do you rate the level of idiocy that One can do?

Does he like flowers?

If One had to choose between his brothers who would it be?

Sorry for the questions...I love your Au!

Take care!

1) Favorite food is homemade shio ramen (made by Draxum), I don't think he's got a favorite animal? there is an animal/creature related thing that's gonna happen in the comic at some point but I don't wanna spoil that part, but is probably that one lmao

1.2) He does know Lou Jitsu! thought his knowledge of him comes from being a nexus champion, not a movie star. He likes Lou but he cant even admit that to even himself because there is a lot of hatred towards humans on his heart, he has a certain level of respect but thats pretty much it.

altough... he started doing martial arts because Draxum showed him a recording of Lou's fights on the nexus and he fell in love with the fighting style, immediately wanted to learn martial arts and be a ninja afterwards

also the golden marks on his mask reminds him of his yellow glasses and is the reason he likes that detail of his uniform so much, even when it was actually made to match Draxum

(old art jumpscare)

2) One's little rival is gonna be Usagi Yuichi

3) my music taste is very meh and I always forget what I like when asked about it and end up just saying Imagine Dragons lmao. but since we're talking slau give Oh No! by Marina a listen, it fits One so much and I'm doing an animatic with it

4) When I start an AU is pretty much because I suddenly have a scene stuck in my head and end up building everything around it (something something, plaged by visions) for SLAU and One it was One's introduction what got me to start this AU.

I was reading some separated aus on ao3 (dont ask which because I dont remmeber and haven't kept up with any of them since I started my own) and that image of One dropping in in the middle of the fight got stuck in my brain and I was shooked that no one thought of making that the introduction of any of the sep turtles, that mixed with there was one of those aus that was a separated leo that I felt like they weren't using "leo raised by draxum" at its full potential and it was frustraiting me so I just went "fine, I'll do it myself"

5) idk, it depends I guess? One is very smart and clever, he's highly skilled and succedes at pretty much everything (the being Number One has gotten into his head for a reason) but! he's also a dumb 14yo teenage boy

6) I don't think One is a flower guy, he likes plants and helps Draxum take care of the ones they got on a greenhouse, but I don't think he particularly likes any flower

7) right now? none of them<3

[uriekukistan]

Hi!! I saw the character ask thing and was wondering if you would answer for Megumi? :D Questions 1-15 (if you feel up to it)!! <3 I literally love him so much and ik from your blog that you do too ! :) (btw loving your itafushi week works!! 🖤)

hiii thank you for the ask and im glad youre loving my itafushi week fics :3 hope youre doing well !!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

i looooveeee everything abt him tbh, but i think probably the thing that makes me the most fond of him is that he reminds me a lot of myself in the way he processes things and makes decisions, sorting them into good or bad

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

hmmm idk if it’s my top fav thing abt him but i love his technique and the way he uses it. especially the shadow inventory and when he stores himself in it? so cool. ig its more when he sets his mind to it, he’s crazy powerful. underrated fr.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

i cant say im a fan of the position he’s in but at the same time i appreciate the narrative choice. wouldn’t ask for things to change, i just wish he was suffering less.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

i’ve been writing him in a tokyo ghoul crossover fic recently if that counts

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

rn…avalanche by bring me the horizon

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

a lot tbh….lets go w we’re both more reserved, a bit avoidant, and keep our feelings hidden 88% of the time (the right person can see through)

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

i love when ppl show him as like. the type to subtly show he cares like acts of service type and then he acts like nothing happened. canon. to me.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

WHEN THEY HATE HIM FOR NO REASON & BLAME HIM FOR THE EVENTS OF JJK LIKE THATS SO WRONG & INCORRECT HES JUST A KID DOING HIS BEST AND MOST OF YHE PPL SHITTING ON HIM WOULDNT LAST TWO MINUTES AS HIM. or when they make mahoraga jokes that are just tasteless, midgumi, potential man, nah i’d give up….im in your walls

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

like. if i had to yeah. we both prefer our own space so it could probably work but it also might be a bit awkward. gonna go with if we were already friends before we became roommates, yes. if not, then no bc neither of us would ever speak, and you gotta be able to communicate w your roommates

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

yes, if there was a “facilitator” friend. like we need the local extrovert to get us to hang out first or we’d never even become acquainted

11. Would you date this character?

no. one he’s a minor two i dont like men like that

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

recently i have been writing abt bassist megumi, so im thinking he air guitars while he’s listening to music when hes alone in his room. or air drums maybe. won’t sing along out loud bc the walls are thin, but if he did, he’d have a nice voice.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

i think he would not use emojis or emoticons when texting but maybe he’d adopt the ‘:)’ bc yuuji kept asking if he was mad (gojo would also ask, but megumi’s not gonna change his habits for that). (￣^￣)ゞ but this is megumi

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

basic but color coordinated, baggy, no patterns, mostly darker colors (black, green, & blue - royal blue not navy). sweaters & jackets most of the time w jeans or just regular pants. he’s cold easily so wears this in the summer too. getting rid of his canon shoes and giving him vans or doc martens oxfords.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

ITAFUSHI <3333333333 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH its like. semi not normal but idc.

[emleeeeeeeeee]

chaps 500-501 sorry im late guys

okay so first thing even though it might be obvious i feel like vin and taejin have had such a parallel life if that makes sense? like obviously taejin was bought up with everything and anything that he wanted (and taught that everything was his) and we did see at the start that he was decently kind(?) to vin as a child, but only bc he viewed vin as his property. we do see this like attitude start changing as he grows up tho, where he doesnt see the need to treat his 'property' aka other ppl well anymore (rip sujin) and really just takes what he wants from them. he also really just wants everything to be his at this point, as seen when he's like excited at his father's death bc it means that he has more power. so vin has obviously had like a very traumatic childhood, but somehow vin and taejins lives still seem very in parallel

especially in that scene bc its like showing their attachment(idk how else to describe it) to cheonliang, but for starkly different reasons. wait more like how they're both fighting for cheonliang, but while vin(and the other ppl sry idk what theyre called) are fighting purely for the memory of sujin and seongji(rip), taejin is fighting so that he can claim it as his AS SEEN WHEN THE LITTLE BITCH SHOWS UP WHEN THEYRE DECIDING THE LEADER.

OMG THE DISRESPECT I CANT. I WANT TO PUT HIM INTO A FUCKING MEAT GRINDER. (writing this i have to keep reminding myself that the way he acts is a result of his upbringing BUT STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS RIUGSDFHJKNXMCSDFJKX)

YES VIN I SUPPORT YOU PULL THAT BITCH APART

okay ive literally never hated goo more than in this moment. like yes i knew he was a fucking psychopath that didnt care abt anyone other than himself but ykkkkkkk i was hoping it wouldnt apply to characters that i cared abt??(this is how im going to get into a toxic relationship and end up on a true crime podcast)

behold the queen herself mary kim. also possibly the best female character ptj has written imo (maybe zoe as well)

OMG THE TANGHULU BOUQUET ISTG ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL MAKE TANGHULU THEN MAKE A BOUQUET AND GIVE SEONGJI A FUNERAL (help i think im getting too obsessed i have work to do and im here doing this)

OUR FRESHLY GLOWED UP MC IS BACKKKK. i honestly cant tell if its his new or old body at this point someone pls tell me its not just me

thats a bit interesting. i still think that goo is going to be the one to die (but im not as attached to him anymore cuz otherwise taejin would be dead IF NOT FOR HIM) but gun definitely looks kinda depressed in this frame after the whole yk chaps 479-480 soooo idk whats gonna happen. even tho chap 502 is out im just gonna finish my work first and get back to you guys. but cheonliang arc finally ended!!!! and now we hopefully get to see jake kims brother who is like fiiinnneeeee (and a cannibal but whatever im colourblind i dont see red flags)lmao i love how this post just started with like an essay opening and dissolved into shitposting. anyways love you guys prob gonna post again sooooonnnn <33333

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

friendly dms welcomed, but please dont flirt/sext im talking with someone atm <3

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i just turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy atm, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 1 relationship online and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

LIMITS

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for i dont mind doing a little bit if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[nerves-nebula]

Btw i’ve now given u the title: Babes bc u radiate those vibes (idk u just do(personally think it’s a good nickname)) so immma be calling u that from now on (unless you tell me not, i do respect boundaries)

now onto a headcannon i have for ur neglected turtles:

as a kid in a shitty situation i made breakfast for my family and made it all pretty and shit (it was waffles and kfc biscuits stacked up on a plate with kfc butter and syrup packets at the bottom of the bread pyramid) and my dad eventually walked in and i showed it to him. He was high as balls (red eyes and everything, absolutely zooted) and looked at me with a blank face before walking out of the house (it was a small trailer so the entrance was in the kitchen/living room) and i felt super invalidated, like my heart sank and shit. And my mom walked in and saw the whole thing, told me not to worry about it, chased my dad down and started yelling at him in the street. I ate a lil of the breakfast by myself and that was that. I mean it’s not a super bad memory but it happened yk?

feel like a similar thing would happen to Mikey and Raph would get pissed @ Splinter, and Mikey would just have to eat the damn carb plate while Don just walks in and is like ‘what’s up? are those waffles?’

Raph is perpetually pissed at Splinter, but also yields to his authority (and is afraid of him), so he wouldn't say anything about it TO splinter. I think Raph would focus more on thanking Mikey for making/helping with breakfast, despite little Mikey's clear disappointment in their dad not caring (this would be when Mikey's a little guy, and hasn't learned to hate his dad a lot yet)

you know what this reminds ME of? once when we were younger (young enough that we still went on field trips with the homeschooling group before it imploded) my mom woke us all up really really early in the morning.

Now, my mom would make home made granola bars (they were really good, if I recall) and she thanked one of my siblings for taking them out so that they wouldnt burn. and my sibling was like "uhhh I didn't take them out" and after asking around we found out that my YOUNGEST SISTER was the one who took them out. which was insane, cause she was super fucking tiny!! She shouldn't even have been around an oven unsupervised !! but no one else was around so she just ??? grabbed some mits and did it herself?? and we were like super proud of her but also like HEY MAYBE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN HAHA???

also yeah donnie comes in like "woah are those waffles. nice"

edit: oh yeah, and i don't mind Babes. i like nicknames, but dont think i've ever actually gotten one. fun!

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)

firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.

my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters

i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭

now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)

i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf

—sincerely, 🦢🦌

No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.

Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:

I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.

Small side note before I begin:

I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them. 

The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect

People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.

The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.

“Cancel” the person not the team.

You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole

You can still relate to something without being the asshole

Be respectful

Listen to victims

And a word for my aspecs ->

The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.

Ignore that block them and report harassment

Stay safe anon

[br0kenhopes4rchive]

been feeling really blue lately ...

૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟꒱ა

this post is gonna be different asf ik its not 3d related but i lowk-highkey dont have anyone or anywhere else i can/feel comfortable talking abt this....

TW: RAPE MENTIONED

my mind is racing with nostalgia these last few nights.. lately ive been reflecting on my life a lot as i wind down for the night after putting my daughter to bed, my life felt boundless and every moment was an adventure.

i miss the simplicity of those days—the laughter, the friendships, and the thrill of being young and carefree.

as I sit back and look at my life thus far, memories flood my mind. I think about my very first friend from middle school, the one whom i shared secrets and dreams with during those formative years. u saved my life countless times kier ily sm....

i think of the old coworkers from random jobs and school bullies; names and faces that faded into the background of my life, but whose memories still linger.

faces and events lost to time float through my mind, reminding me of the experiences that have shaped who I am today. as I sift through my old playlists, I'm transported back to the moments when these songs were my favorite—skipping school, and driving aimlessly across the city with the windows down just for the thrill of it. hotboxing in the car and feeling invincible.

I chuckle at the memories of sneaking out and getting caught, the thrill of rebellion coursing through my veins. I remember old homes and sleepovers with cousins, the scent of candles and the sound of laughter and music echoing through the night as we get hushed. then there were first crushes and those sweet, first fleeting romances that made my heart race.

each of these memories brings with it a wave of emotion, a bittersweet reminder of who I used to be. jus the other day, I caught a whiff of a cheap walmart body spray, and in an instant, I was 16 back behind my high school, with my bestie wearing low-rise jeans with a diet mountain dew in one hand and a newport in between my lips. these moments are etched in my memory...

but theres something that has been lingering in my thoughts more than anything else..

i find myself reflecting on the reality that I haven’t been in a real relationship in years. this void in my life is one I yearn to fill.

while I have been blessed with the joy of motherhood, I carry the weight of my journey—becoming a mother through the traumatic experience of sexual assault.

In this journey of motherhood, I find myself navigating the beautiful chaos without the partner I so deeply desire by my side..

I crave that special someone who should be beside me, no matter what the day brings—whether it’s moments of joy or times of tears.

imagine having a partner who supports you unconditionally—a confidant who walks with you through the ups and downs of life.

I envision quiet moments, simply lying down, embraced by that person, feeling safe and cherished, knowing they will always be there for me.

It is the comfort of their presence that I seek—an anchor amidst the chaos, a gentle reminder that I am not alone. an energy that can quiet the buzzing thoughts in my mind and bring me peace with just their touch or voice..

after a long day of caring for my beautiful baby, I yearn for someone to welcome home, to cook for, to kiss— who understands the trials of the day and to share both the joys and burdens of parenthood with. ive been longing for this connection, for this sweet- special kind of love, it tears me apart....

I crave the touch and intimacy that no one else should provide. my heart is overflowing with devotion, yet I find myself with no one to give it to.

i was gonna hangout w the guy i been talking to for a while (would be our 3rd time) then he ghosted me out of nowhere??? legit after saying he was otw to the park we agreed to meet at? idk what happened all ik is i sat outside w my daughter for an hour then it started raining..... so we went home.. my baby had fun playing tho so its wtv <3 sent a message to ask what happened and he had blocked me?!

[azsazz]

honestly feel really bad for azriel in mm. i would have actually left when i saw my friends brought someone they know i dont like without telling me, that's a pretty shitty thing to do and one of my biggest boundaries and then them making plans without even telling him is bad too like i get what rhys said that they were being assholes at first because they were but pushing two people that don't want to be together is still a shitty way to go about it. like even with reader she likes cass but not rhys and is being almost forced to hang out with him because of the thing with feyre which looks like fey didnt even really explain to her and idk seeing your friends put romantic relationships in front of you sucks.

obviously the point of the story is that they end up together so they'll have to solve it i guess but yeah everyone is acting badly to azriel and reader, especially to az bc that last scene of him staying back at home and the implication being that he can solve it by going with his friends to hang out with someone who makes him uncomfortable and they know it is so sad. he was excited to work on rhys' tattoo and instead just got left behind, maybe im seeing too much of myself in mm az but it made me kinda mad at rhys and cass

hi hi-

i actually love you bringing this up because there's some great points here and i'm honored that this story can evoke such conversation

so, i totally get what you're saying here and that is so valid. it actually reminds me of something that happened over my weekend which was a similar situation. i was going out and i knew there was going to be someone i didn't like there but i went anyway because you know i need to go out and live my life and not let anyone stop me. and i'd been invited by a friend so i said yes. it's a little different because obviously reader/az didn't know that the other would be there, so i totally see your perspective on it!

i think maybe also azriel just could've assumed that he'd be hanging out with rhys and cass on the weekends so he wouldn't ask if they had already made plans, and i could see cass and rhys not bringing up their planned engagements because they know azriel is kind of a lone wolf and sometimes goes off by himself and they know he doesn't care for reader so they just didn't say anything.

fey def trying to keep whatever is happening with her and rhys a secret 👀 which is def shitty to do to her roommate/best friend but again, fey could be feeling awk by bringing it up to reader again because she knows how much she doesn't like these guys. except cass

in the end, i think the same can be said where az might've just figured they'd all be chilling or what not so he was working on rhys' tattoo. i don't think their plans are solidified it's kind of like oh yeah we always chill so it goes unmentioned, which is also shitty, you're right, because cass and rhys would feel the same way and they really should've told az that they had plans.

you have absolutely every right to feel the way that you're feeling and thank you for bringing up these points and letting me know how you feel! I appreciate it 💙

[funshinebf]

on one hand i think living alone would be nice in some ways, like having privacy and freedom over my own space. getting to go to any room in my underwear if i feel like it. decorating however i want, having whatever pets i want. but on the otherhand like i know i would greatly struggle with it as well. i get really lonely really easily, and i start to feel crazy if i cant talk out loud to someone about mundane shit for too long. and on top of that im really bad at taking care of myself or chores when it only affects me. i always forget to eat or shower or drink water or even take a piss when nothing/no one is there to remind me, or even when i do remember sometimes i just Dont Feel Like It, so its helpful when i have someone to twist my arm about it. not to mention physical limitations i would need help with. and idk sometimes i get a bit frustrated that i cant live alone, because it sort of feels like another type of independence that ive missed out on due to being disabled. being so dependent on others due to being disabled honestly really frustrates me a lot. its something that i dont think people who arent like this understand at all, and most of the time people who dont understand it act as though im inherently less mature because of it. i cant tell you the amount of friends, family members, even strangers that have acted as though my lack of independence means im somehow below them. i hate feeling like im never being taken seriously just because my brain and body happen to function differently and have different needs from most others. i feel like sometimes it comes off as me hating being disabled, but its like. i dont necessarily hate myself for being disabled. but i really really hate the way the world treats me for it. its so apparent that society wasnt built with us in mind, and trying to change that is such a constant uphill battle, its so tiring. auuughh.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Why not move? I’d never stay in a country that treats its women this way. And you working for the government indirectly supports that. Good luck.

Okay so

i've been mulling over this ever since it came to my inbox and i've been trying to find a way to answer this and NOT be impolite or improper because i am aware that not everyone knows the complications of straight up moving to a different country, as it is not as simple as just moving to a different STATE, like the US, [and to be fair i've heard that even THAT could be stressful] and as someone who has LIVED in 3 countries and has visited another 5+ countries, let me tell you that your question is extremely ignorant and insensitive and straight up hurtful to all the people who both DONT want to leave their communities here and also the people who DO want to leave but are too poor to do so.... because our country, due to the prohibition by good ol' murica has now the lowest money currency value on the PLANET, and we have been suffering in silence for DECADES- with NO way to transfer money into our country- [donation campaigns are usually a scam, pay attention to those please] so in short? we are poor as absolute FUCK-!

and the process of moving somewhere else is already hard enough for people who DONT have as much financial issues, let alone US.

what exactly would anyone propose we do? when we dont have the money to request for any sort of visa, nor to get a house in a different country, nor food, nor for studying, living, getting medical or MENTAL health help- etc etc etc???

and reports of smuggling people out of the country usually come back as human trafficking or the gov blew them up or killed them somehow? idk this has actually happened with a PLANE once-

the only way to leave this country is being filthy rich, fucking LUCKY, or just a very very VERY smart student which again more often than not requires both money AND luck to get accepted in any university... so again.... no money!!!

like im sorry for snapping but here i am being told "why don't you leave" as if i haven't tried to find a way all my life, as if its some sort of sick joke- i cant, i fucking CANT!- i have family members i care about and wouldn't want to leave- other countries treat us like garbage thanks to online media portraying us as monsters- i cant spend another 10 years to study shit all over again just to send a letter to foreign universities with barely enough luck because im NOT that smart at all!! and it reminds me of when i look at my dad and say i wish we lived somewhere else and he looks at me like "then leave" in the cruelest way imaginable because he KNOWS we cant fucking leave due to him being a diplomat-

every country has its own culture and history and communities that they value and want to protect and stand by, so people cant just LEAVE, and even if they do, more often than not, other places would never accept them or appreciate them the same way their own country would. Like did yall tell black people to leave america after the BLM movement when George Floyd got killed? this is our home and we need to stop saying "then leave" and start saying "we need to start fixing this shit"

we are so fucking tired. please stop saying "then leave" if you just "don't want to help"...

as for me working for the gov, my dad is already a diplomat and keeps me away from doing anything against the regime, and also i'm considered one of the LUCKY ones in my country, who has a job that ensures a constant pay since the first semester of UNIVERSITY. im one of the few that could actually have a meal at night without worrying about what i'm going to eat tomorrow, and at the same time i teach kids from the inside to not take shit from the gov. i consider myself VERY lucky.

we aren't playing a videogame to take shallow black and white SIDES- even the protesters have destroyed privet properties and peoples cars and etc etc, and some people straight up want the monarchy system back as if that very system wasn't the entire reason that half of our countries riches and history isn't in the BRITISH museum today instead of their homeland!! this shit started over the freedom to WEAR what we want not to HURT everyone in blind rage!!!

Please never say "just leave" to anyone else ever again, especially to someone who doesn't even know if they'll live another day stepping out of the door, let alone drive all the way to an airport or the country boarders or something.... if they even HAVE the money to go that far.

So thankyou for reading and being concerned in your own way but id rather stay here and die in a country that doesn't accept me as a WOMAN than to live a futureless life in a country that wouldn't even accept me as a PERSON.

[harukirai]

Seriously idk why some people can't phathom the fact that trans women(MtF) will need to see an obgyn sometimes.

Or that some people are intersex? Like legally im FtM but biologically i was diagnosed afters years of development issues as intersex(xy chromosomes, and misuse of estrogen in development caused me so many problems, it literally wrecked my body to the point all my internal organs was stuck together and none of my reproductive systems were viable because it was too infected and too far gone)

Ohh and have i mentioned that because the obgyn didn't do her research and just prescribed me with astrogen at 16(cause i wasnt developing at all)

It kickstarted endometriosis (nerve endometriosis at that) and for almost two years now im dealing with paralyzed lower body, and still they have the nerve to tell me that i should've accepted myself and i shouldn't have ' mutelated my body'

As if they know shit about trans pple and the experience, or anything more than their basic biology that even that like my highschool taught more.

At this point ive been to so many doctors, been hospitalized for months on end and still pple who know shit about gynocology have the nerve to tell me i need a mental health specialist, as if I wasn't getting any already.

So yeah ive been with an mtf friend to her first gynocology appointment cause she was terrified.

Its not all about the womb, somtimes they need to check the vaginal canal(even if its not 'real one' )or anything related to the urethra, cause in here usually urologists is for pple who have a penis only.

Seriously done with stupid pple who never met a trans person in their life, and never been out of their own fucking bubble.

I know this post is all over the place and not related to my usual shitposting but seriously needed to take this off my chest cause im fucking done i hate pple so much why can't you just stfu, why do you care if the person before you in line to the obgyn is cis or not, she has an appointment cause she needs it karen, not to steal from 'innocent biological women'

Edit: this happened 3 years ago when my friend needed an obgyn for the first time and an old lady who heard us talking, mainly me calming her cause she was nervouse, and the old lady picked on her being trans and just started a scene but in the end she was escorted out by security so my friend ended up with no harm beside a minor trauma.

but ive seen a reel on instagram that reminded me of that, and ive commented on the clear fact that trans women do need obgyn sometimes and the comments were just, fucking disgusting, seriously hate pple sometimes and idk im not even american but most of the comments reeked of 'florida' or 'ron DeSantis supporters'

Like i know some of yall are precious and dont get it the wrong way, but sometimes i just hate America. Your education system failed allot of you.

[elegyofthemoon]

im posting this before i forget and also sorta leave for the night cuz i gotta sleep a little early

• Posted stuff today ☺️

• I decided to do a bit of the writing tag game on my other account and it is WILD to see just how much i wrote the past few months??? im kinda proud tbh. I may be a little discouraged from posting these days but it's honestly really nice to see myself posting as much as I do - and esp to see how much ive written during all this time. this is aside from all the logs i do bc thatd just add further to my word count, but hdhfjdjd really despite the horrors, i'll always have writing. or well, writing's just been such a huge part of my life that if i cannot write then I'm not myself anymore. njdjrjd and my friend nick has mentioned this too that i dont seem like myself if i dont have a wip and all that jfjdndd

• i hate to say the rafayel birthday event made me embarrassingly happy but it really did 🙈

• speedwriting a fic. much shorter than something i wrote earlier but like !! idk i havent felt that surge of inspiration that was fun lmao wish that happened more often

• getting another message from a job i applied to that might be interested in hiring me. the positive is this ones a little more interesting than the one i did a recent interview with but same general position. still very 👀

• my friend finished london holiday and might start second key real soon and im so fucking sorry to him about the person i'l turn into when he starts liveblogging at me about it BUT ALSO im actually really happy and excited about it .3.

• OH FOUND OUT THAT MY SISTER WILL BE HOME EVEN FOR THE LITTLE BIT WHEN I GET BACK!! i thought i'd miss n entirely when she's back which made me sad but she'll be there for at least a day when she's back so !! i will beat my jet lag to hang out with her if i have to >:(

• n sending me something that reminded them of me was really sweet 🥹 it made me very happy tbh jfnfnddjj i was kinda shocked

•also saw new artist drawing characters from anti entropy that genuinely made me very happy 🥹🥹

• ngl thinking about tomorrow after the exam has me excited. i still have one more exam to go, but for once, i feel excited by the idea of saying goodbye. i dont really care anymore how i do for either exams, but it's one more step out of this life and one more step into the new one. i think thats exciting and im excited for it. i wish i could say the same about doing the practical exam but that one i just know ill go home dreading so ✌🏼 but tomorrow! lets have fun after the exam and visit the bakery ive been wanting to go to and finally get that silly plush ive been eyeing 🤧 let's give this life a nice farewell and send off before i go