#and you make them so fucking unnecessarily hot too. what the FUCK

[lovifie]

Hewwo (TwT)

Can you do one with the wheelchaired user and Soap or Price? ~<3

Luv u >_<

Hi love! I hope that you like it!

I am not a wheelchair user so I hope I didn't say anything offensive, if I did please let me know ❤️

Soap

I just know this man would save your contact as "Hot Wheels 🩷"

You first met at the supermarket, he was looking for something on the top shelf and didn't notice you, accidentally pushing you slightly.

You quickly stopped the wheelchair, turning to look at him.

"Shit, sorry, bonnie. I wasn't looking." He said, stepping back so he wasn't hovering over you. "Ye alright?"

He is immediately smitten with you, the annoyed look on your face automatically making the little brat weak

You answer a bit harshly, not that he cared, and you point to what you were trying to grab for the unnecessarily high shelf. "Could you please grab one of those for me?"

He jumps at the opportunity, quickly grabbing it and handing it to you. "I'll grab the moon and the stars for you, bonnie."

You look back at him, silently pondering how much you want the cereal. "This will do, thanks."

He laughs loudly, walking along and apologising again. "Could I maybe... Take you out for a coffee? A meal?"

He is looking at you, head cocking to the side like a puppy, waiting for an answer.

"Are you a creep?" "Oh, definitely."

You still go out, and you end up having the time of your life. And as time goes on he only gets worse.

The "Don't drink and drive" his favourite joke whenever he sees you take a sip of alcohol.

And if you are able to stand? He is shouting "MIRACLE!" or "LIES! TREACHERY!' and it doesn't matter if it is the first time he has seen you standing or the 100th time.

If you ever leave the wheelchair unattended he is definitely stealing it and going Tokyo drifting around the house; only stopping when you shout his name like scolding a dog. "Sorry, bonnie"

Price

With him it would be the opposite, you bump onto him.

It was on the bus, he was a bit grumpy about having to take it since his car broke down, but he got to meet you so he took it as a godly message.

He was standing close to the bus door, you entered and before you could lock the wheels from moving the bus started sending you rolling back against him.

He grab the handles, only to avoid the hit and looked down at you with a smile when you looked at him panicked. "Well, hello to you too."

You started to apologise profusely, turning around a bit to check you haven't hurt him. You softly grazed his hands on your process of checking on him and it sent a funny feeling up his column.

"It's alright." He reassured you, resting his hand on top of yours. "I don't mind a pretty thing like you crushing on me, love."

It made you stutter, tripping over your words as you started to blush profusely. Funny enough it was him the one with a crush on you.

And he just knows he cannot let you slip away from him like that, and when you mention it is your stop he shoots. "How about you let me buy you coffee? For the trouble."

And who are you to turn him down?

That's how he got your name, your number and himself under your skin.

I just know acts of service is this man love language, constantly trying to just be of use. Wheelchair or not.

The postman left a parcel downstairs and you can't get it into the elevator? This man is taking it up on his hands, whether it is a letter or a fucking fridge.

You are almost ready to go but your phone is charging in your room? This man is sprinting down the hall as if running away from an explosion.

You are on a fancy dinner and some people are slow dancing? You looked at them for four whole minutes and you expect him to not do anything?

He's picking you up, your arms around his shoulder and just dancing with you; no matter how much you complain about being heavy or anything, he's dancing with you.

And regarding the two of them; I just know that if some stupid person ever said anything along the lines of: "Aren't you tired of taking care of them?" They would just stare at them like they are idiots, going like: "They take better care of themselves than I do of my own, if anything they are the ones tired of taking care of me."

[togrowoldinv]

Working Out

Beefy!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Natasha has a penis (she/her pronouns used), kissing, cursing, teasing, blow jobs, Nat being really super beefy

Note: Y’all can thank @dirtyvulture for this one lol. A great idea. Enjoy the beefiness!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

Your ideal date was not exactly spending time at the gym, but when Natasha asked you to join her, you didn’t want to say no. Never really one to workout, you figure you’ll just stand around and watch Natasha.

Seeing her in action is your idea of a perfect date. Her body is muscular, and she knows what it does to you. Nat called you and asked you to go with her, so you got dressed and waited for her to pick you up.

She pulled up in her sports car. You got in, and she placed a kiss on your lips. You didn’t take note of her clothing until you went into the gym together.

Now, you watch as she prepares the squat rack. Her short shorts leave very little to your imagination. Her thighs flex with her every movement. You’re sure she can see your eyes on her. She pulls her shorts further up her legs to ‘move them out of her way’ but mostly so your eyes fall directly to what’s in between them.

“Do you need help, sweetheart?” Nat asks you, never stopping her squats. She glances at the equipment next to you that you forgot to pretend to use.

“Oh, I- yeah, I guess so,” you say. Nat smirks and places her weights on the ground.

Nat lifts her tank top up and wipes the sweat from her face. That gives you a long look at her perfectly sculpted abs. You love to run your hands over them.

She crosses the floor to reach you. Nat steps around you and puts a hand on your back.

“Have you ever done pull-ups before?” Nat asks.

“Maybe a few times,” you reply. “I’m not so good at them.”

“That’s alright,” Natasha replies. “Watch me.”

She taps your back before she moves her hands to your hips. She moves you to the side, but not before pressing her hips against yours.

“Fuck,” you mumble.

Natasha just chuckles and lifts her arms up to grab the pull up bar. She does so easily. Nat lifts herself up with ease. Her biceps make the perfect shape as she moves up and down. Natasha smiles at you the entire time. She knows she’s hot.

“Yeah, I’m never going to be able to do those,” you say, mesmerized by her.

“That’s alright, baby,” Nat says. “We’ll start you with something easier.”

She lets go of the bar and wraps an arm around your shoulder. Walking across the gym, she finds what she’s looking for. A dumbbell without too much weight on it, but enough to make you sweat.

“Okay, I’m going to show you how to lift this and we’ll do some curls,” Nat explains. Her voice is unnecessarily raspy as she says it. You wonder if she’s turned on too.

Nat steps behind you. She stands so close that you know she’s turned on too.

“Bend down and pick it up,” Nat says.

“What?” You ask. You weren’t really listening.

“Pick up the bar,” Natasha explains. “Don’t hurt your back though.”

“Okay,” you say quietly.

You begin to bend over, but Natasha’s hands pull you back upright.

“You need to squat down at an angle to protect your back. Try again,” Natasha says.

“Nat, I don’t think I’m meant to workout,” you tell her.

“That’s alright, baby. Try this just once. Please?” Nat asks. Oh, she knows what she’s doing. She presses her front into you and says the words right into your ear. “I’ll basically do it for you.”

“Okay. For you, I’ll try.”

“Good girl,” Nat says.

She moves her arms around your body and essentially moves your entire body in the right motion. You grip the bar, and her hands help you hold the weight. Once you’re upright again, Natasha moves your arms to curl up and down.

“Am I doing it, right?” You ask.

“You are, sweetheart. Good job,” Natasha says. She kisses your cheek, and you almost lose focus. Luckily, she holds the bar firmly. “Two more.”

You count together and then she helps you put the bar back onto the ground. Feeling the smallest workout high, you grin and turn to face Nat.

“Thanks for the help,” you tell her.

“You’re welcome, babe,” Natasha says.

She leans down and kisses your lips softly. You kiss her back, probably a little too deeply. She moans and brings a hand to the back of your neck. Your hand comes to the hardness in her shorts. She groans deeply.

“We should get out of here,” you say against her lips.

“I still need to do my crunches,” Nat says.

You pout, and Natasha laughs at you, so you pout even more. She kisses your lips and drops to the floor to do her crunches.

You decide to tease her while she does them. You kneel next to her, and with every crunch she does, you almost kiss her lips. She begins to chase after your lips.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Natasha asks.

“Nothing,” you say, shrugging.

Nat sits up completely and pulls you closer by your shirt.

“Are you teasing me?” She asks, her eyes move between your lips and eyes.

“Maybe,” you say simply.

Natasha smirks. She stands up and offers you her hand. She gets that you’re ready to go. You take her hand and walk to the car. When she opens the door for you, she kisses you and helps you in.

About halfway to your place, you get the feeling you can’t wait any longer to taste Natasha. You reach across the center console and palm her cock over her shorts.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Natasha hisses. “I’m driving.”

“Keep your eyes on the road then,” you tell her.

You move her waistband of her shorts and boxers down to pull her cock out of the material. Your move your hand over her length. She tries to keep her focus on the road. Nat does okay until you lean over and take her cock in your mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Nat mumbles.

You hum against her. You move your tongue over the tip as her dick begins to drip. You suck her and fondle your hands over the base of her. Her hips stutter as you get her closer.

“Fuck, I’m going to come,” Natasha says.

“Come for me, Natasha,” you say, moving your hand over her again.

“Oh, god,” Natasha says. She swerves on the road just a bit as she comes. “Y/n!”

She comes hard. Some goes in your mouth and some onto her clothes. You keep moving your hand over her as she comes down from her high.

Soon, you’re home. You kiss her and she groans at the taste of herself on your tongue. Nat practically pools you out of the car and into the house.

Once inside, she kisses you and pushes you against the wall. She lifts your shirt over your head and she grabs your breasts. Her strong hands massage them as her lips attach to your nipples. You move your hands to push down her shorts and boxers.

Natasha’s cock presses against your stomach now as she continues to suck your nipples.

“Nat,” you whine breathlessly at the feeling. “I need you.”

“I know, baby. I know,” she replies.

She pulls your pants part of the way down and moves the tip of her cock through your folds. Feeling the slickness, Nat grins.

“Already so wet for me?” She asks.

“Yes,” you say. “Always.”

“Mhm,” Natasha says. She pushes her cock a little further into you.

You take her so well. She pushes all of the way in, and you bite your lip. Her cock is big, but you can take it.

“Fuck, look at you taking me,” Natasha says.

“I can do it.”

“I know,” Natasha says. “So beautiful as you do.”

She kisses you hard as she pumps in and out of you. Her pace is harsh, but god you love it. You teased her for a reason. You knew she would act like this.

“Nat, I’m going to come,” you say, pressing your head against her chest.

“Yeah, baby? Are you going to come for me?”

“Yeah,” you say. She pushes in impossibly further. “Fuck.”

You come hard and Nat feels your walls move around her cock. Her cock twitches, but she doesn’t pull out.

“Can you take another?” She asks.

“I can do it,” you say, feeling the sensitivity of yourself sinking in.

“Just a little bit,” she encourages you.

You nod and Nat picks up her pace again. The sound of her hips becoming flush with yours fills the room along with moans from the two of you.

“Come with me,” Natasha says. “You can do it, sweetheart.”

You come at the feeling of Natasha’s cock buried deep in you. She pulls out quickly and holds her cock as strings of cum shoot out onto your pussy. She brushes her cock over your pussy as she comes down from her high.

“Fuck baby,” Natasha says, breathing heavily.

“That was so-”

“Yeah,” Nat agrees. She kisses you softly and you two decide to shower together. Maybe the gym date was ideal after all.

[wildandsmile]

Can you do upper moons with a bratty reader like if they doesn’t get what they wants they act out ? (Nsfw pls) btw I love your writings.

𝓢𝓹𝓲𝓬𝔂

Tw: Blood

Kinks: f-reviving, overstim, figuring, exhibitionsm, name calling, brat taming, cock sleeve, thigh riding, impact play, brush play, knife play, Dom Gyutaro (for once)

Word Count: 1.8k

Note: I appreciate the compliment and the suggestion, so I hope you enjoy this

Come back for Hantengu, Nakime,Daki and Kaigaku

Enjoy!

Kokushibo

Maintains a predominantly quiet demeanor, prompting you to playfully provoke him during your joint missions in order to coax him into conversation.

Most often, it proves ineffective, prompting your resourceful nature to explore alternative approaches, sometimes inadvertently exposing your cover or even unnecessarily harming a human or two.

You anticipated provoking a reaction from him, yet he chose to maintain his silence, unaffected.

Unbeknownst to you, he was meticulously tallying each minor error you had committed throughout the evening.

As you at last return to the estate, you sense his hands enveloping the back of your neck, his voice a hushed murmur, "Now that we've returned, it’s time for your punishment."

You whimpered, "Koku no more, no more pls" as your trembling hands tried to push him away from your now overstimulated clit, but he was letting up; he'd been at it for hours. At first, he'd made you look him in the eyes while he licked long laps across your slicked folds, but when he realized that was too much for you to handle, he decided to be a little nice He continues, "Come on darling, don't tell me that I've already fucked you stupid on my tongue" as he glides his mouth over your dripping cunt, making you flinch from the sensation of his hot breath against your cunt. As you groan and writhe on the bed, "Pls Koku pls" comes out of your mouth, and Kokushibo promptly stops you by pushing your hips into the mattress with one hand and bringing down hard with the other to spank your ass. Kokushibo says, "Come now darling don't be bratty just tell daddy what you want." You resist at first, but then you hide your eyes with your arm and give in. "Please koku, please just fuck me already," you beg, as he plants a kiss on your thigh, followed by a hasty "If that's what you want, darling."

Doma

Was a little different in his approach to dealing with your spoiled behavior, which consisted mostly of embarrassing you at the upper moon meetings

Typically, the two of you would assume positions on opposite sides, but whenever you displayed misbehavior or didn't provide the desired level of attention he wanted , he would promptly position you right beside him.

Initially, you didn't perceive these occurrences as problematic, assuming he would overlook your attitude, but your assumption couldn't have been further from the truth.

The instant Muzan appeared, silence blanketed the room. Sensing the opportunity, Doma deftly exploited the moment, discreetly slipping his hand into your dress.

You try to stifle a moan as you say, "Doma, please stop—we're having a meeting right now." Despite your pleading, he pumps his fingers deep inside you, curling them each time they touch your sweet spot. You started to respond, but Doma's thumb found your swollen clit and began rubbing sloppy circles, prompting you to grab on to his thigh for support. "You shouldn't be worried about me sweetheart, you should be focused on Lord Muzan," he says with a sadistic grin covering his face. You looked Doma straight in the eyes and pleaded, "Doma pls, stop I'm about to cum." But you had no idea that your pathetic expression and crocodile tears were only making Doma more enthusiastic. Finally, the conference is over, and Doma pulls you up into him roughly; upon standing, you tumble into his arms, at which point he bursts out laughing. His figure is covered in your juices, and he displays them to you while saying, "You know for such a bratty girl you sure fall apart like a dirty slut," and then he licks his palm clean and adds, "You know this is just the start of your punishment right sweetheart."

Akaza

Dedicated to continuous training, striving to overcome the Upper Moon One, Kokushibo, alongside the Hashiras.

Often, when you were seeking emotional reassurance or craving attention, it seemed elusive, leading to moments of emotional turmoil prompting your occasional acting out.

Primarily, you would engage in playful teasing during his workout sessions. Whenever he initiated his routine, you'd position yourself nearby, playfully bending and assuming various poses, catching his gaze and providing him with quite the view.

But what really got under his skin was hearing you groan while stretching, saying things like, "O these feels so good" or "I wish I had something that would stretch me out better."

Akaza, possessing zero tolerance for impudence, promptly halted his training. Striding over to you, he swiftly lifted you and carried you to his weightlifting area. Settling down, he positioned you on his muscular thigh, his strength and presence palpable.

You had been sitting on Akaza's thigh for some time after he encouraged you to "earn" his attention if you wanted it. You've spent the entire day craving an ogasm, and now you're dragging your clothed cunt across his flexed thigh to get it. Every time you felt that knot from within your stomach, you would start thrusting, basically humping his leg, and your cunt was throbbing and your clit was all nice and puffy, but this wasn't enough. You decide you need more and work your way down Akaza's thigh to his hard cock, but just as you're about to start touching it, he lets out a long groan and says, "Didn't I tell you that you had to earn this cock, you dirty slut?" You try to protest, but he stops you with a hard slap on the ass. Akaza says with a deep groan, "Brats like you don't get to talk back is that understood." You let out a small yes and go back to trying to make yourself cum by humping his thigh, but he finally had enough of your feeble attempts and bent you over his work table, ripped your pants off, and said, " I guess I'll have to fuck you silly like the brat you are since you can't even make yourself cum properly.”

Gyokko

Similar to Akaza, Gyokko remained unwaveringly dedicated to his tasks. When not engrossed in his work, his attention was invariably directed towards Lord Muzan.

Describing your relationship as more akin to that of a master and a devoted companion is a more accurate portrayal than labeling it as a romantic bond.

Typically, this would trigger your bratty behavior; however, unlike the other Upper Moons, it was notably effortless to provoke a reaction from him.

You'd frequently locate him in his chamber, engrossed in creating new artwork. To playfully ruffle his feathers, you'd comment on his latest piece, suggesting it was exceptionally impressive or innovative.

This would lead to a hint of frustration, prompting him to restart. However, your antics wouldn't end there; you'd venture into his collection, identifying something seemingly new, only to critique it with remarks like "It was an eyesore" or "Breaking it was a favor—it was painfully ugly." This chain of actions often culminated in pushing him to his breaking point.

In no time, you found yourself forcefully propelled onto the bed, and in that very instant, a sense of anticipation gripped you, indicating that you were in for an intense encounter.

Gokkyo warns you not to move lest he "mess up" as he runs the long brush across your tender nubs: "Stand still if you keep moving I'll mess it up." Because you ruined his painting, Gokkyo decided to use you as a canvas. Naked, you watched as he dragged the brushes across your icy flesh. It was causing your cunt to throb so much that you tried to close your legs together, but Gokkyo swiftly spread them out and pressed you even deeper into the mattress with his hand. By this time, you were writhing in pain from the combination of the brushing and Gokkyo's cold hand on your naked body, so he eventually dragged the brush down to your aching cunt and flipped it over to the dull side to massage your clit. You can hear him saying, "This is what you wanted right, for me to give this naught cunt some attention right" as he presses the brush firmly against your clit and begins to flick it up and down on his brush. You started to want more, so you clung to his forearm and moaned gently. Please elaborate. After quickly extracting his cock and aligning it with your soaping moist hole, Gyokko leaned in and murmured something in your ear. “Since you're not fit for artistic purposes, I'll just use you as a filthy cock sleeve.”

Gyutaro

Gyutaro diverged slightly from the other Upper Moons in his perspective. To him, the term "brat" signified an irritating child, making it challenging for him to perceive you in that light.

He consistently presumed your behavior was a result of a passing mood swing or that he might have inadvertently provoked your anger.

During a meeting of the Upper Moons, Doma initiated a discussion about his partner's mischievous behavior, referring to them as a "brat."

As Gyutaro listened to Doma's words, a transformation occurred within his mindset. Gradually, a growing anger took hold of him. He realized that you had been purposely avoiding him, refraining from his touch as part of your playful strategy to act out and grab his attention.

All you needed to do was express your desire; he found it impossible to refuse someone as beautiful as you. The realization that he had been contemplating seeking Daki's assistance in this situation only intensified his anger.

Gyutaro snatched you away from his sister the moment he returned from the meeting and hurried you into your shared bedroom. It didn't take long for you to freeze up after hearing Gyutaro exclaim, "This is what you wanted right to get punished to be pounded by my cock" as he licked the nape of your neck. And lucky for you, Gyutaro was enjoying watching your gorgeous eyes water and your hips try to stop bucking since you didn't want to cut yourself on his sickle. He warns, "You better stop moving, princess, or I might just cut you" as he draws a thin line of blood from your thigh with the blade of his knife. Gyutaro had never felt so hot in his life; ordinarily, you would be the one on top of his, but while the two of you were going at it, your stunning good looks and flawless physique were enough to render him helpless. So now that he had you where he wanted you, he had no intention of letting you go. Gyutaro whispers to you as he licks your hot tears from your cheeks, "Hehe you know princess you look a pretty when cry and you look even better when my hands are around your throat." His hands wrap neatly around your neck, gripping it just tight enough to where you could breathe if you worked hard enough. Your moaning was the result of Gyutaro ripping your clothing off with his sickle, quickly aligning his cock with your cunt, and then slamming his entire cock within. “Now that I have you here, Princess, I might as well make you as hideous as me, heh heh.”

[no-nameno-face]

REMINDER (WITH AUDIO)

Ellie Williams x Listener Scene

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, minors do not interact. You will be blocked. ellie!dom, reader!sub, jealousy, angst, kissing, biting, hickies, fingering, edging, public sex, bathroom sex

Author's Notes: this WAS gonna just be an audio but there was a lot of context in my head and it definitely wouldnt make sense without it so it turned into a messy little blurb (does this count as a blurb? Idk tumblr vocab someone help) very loose (bad) writing, just to give something to bounce off of ellies dialog. (and give you some voice lines if you feel so inclined) <3 also giggling at how unnecessarily dramatic ellie is in this. I'm such a slut for jealous ellie (and bathroom sex omg). I think something is wrong with me. Lmfao. This was just a quick little throw together, so its nothing special butttt i still hope you enjoy bestiessss! <3

CONTEXT:

You and your girlfriend Ellie are at a party where some girl has been flirting with you all night, right in front of Ellie too. You’re fucking oblivious. Ellie is fucking mad. She's always been a jealous person, but was even more so when she had a drink or two in her. After the girl “playfully” touched your shoulder for the third time in two minutes Ellie decides to pull you to the bathroom to have a “conversation”. A reminder.

[START OF AUDIO] 

She closes the door behind you. You can hear the muffled sound of the crowd filling the halls.

“Whats wrong love?” 

“She was all over you babe. Dont like it.”

“No she wasn't, she was just being nice!”

“Jesus, you can be really fucking dense sometimes.”

“Ellie…”

She pivots me so I am resting against the bathroom counter, bodies inches apart. 

“Did you forget who you came here with?”

she leans in

“Forget who you’re going home with?”

I swallow hard, looking away. Flustered. 

“You're just jealous… it's not that deep” 

Her strong hand grabs my chin, pulling my eyes to meet her own. 

“Let me remind you who you belong to.”

She lifts me up, my ass now resting on the cold counter as my short dress has hitched over my thighs, ellie between my legs pushing it up even more. My warmth pressed against her stomach makes her suck against her teeth before her lips smash into mine. Her tongue claiming my mouth. I let out a moan against her lips. Her breathing is heavy, hot on my face. Fuck, she really is mad. 

“You gonna let her touch you again?”

She grabs my tits over my dress firmly. A moan escapes my lips, followed by a “no” dancing on my breath.

“That's right. No. You won't. ” 

Suddenly she pulls the cups of my dress down, exposing my breasts and pushing them up. Her mouth wraps around my flesh and I gasp at the contact, my hands tangling in her hair. She nips at my nipple and an unsolicited cry leaves me. Loud enough that anyone outside of the bathroom door could definitely hear. 

“Ellie… they… fuck… they’re gonna hear…”

“Let em’ hear you.”

She starts sucking and biting over the bareness of my chest and neck, leaving dark bruises and bite marks in a trail behind her lips. 

“Let em’ know how well you're taken care of.”

My cheeks flush red at the thought of everyone being able to hear what she is doing to me. I can't tell if i hate it… or love it…

Her hands trace down my body, to my knees around her, then slowly… slowly… up, stopping on the growing damp spot on my black thong.

“Who makes you this wet?” 

She circles my clit softly through the thin fabric. My head thrown back, I bite at my fist. Desperately trying to hold in my sounds.

“Is it her?”

Her fingers stop when I don't respond immediately…

“No!” I call out, “It's you! Ellie, it's you…”

“That's right… it's me.”

Her fingers are fast as they push my underwear to the side and plunge into me. Deep. hard. My responding sounds echo off the bathroom walls. Her fingers pumping into me, thumb pressed against my clit. 

“Don't forget it.”

Her eyes observe me, drinking in the heaves of my chest and the crease between my brow, deepening as the tension in my stomach builds. 

“Squeezing my fingers so tight.”

“Think she could make you feel this good?”

“Ellie… Ellie!” her name rolling off my tongue in succession as my senses are filled with her.

“Shit already so close…” 

Her pace was steady, continuing getting me closer and closer to the edge, my legs starting to tremble around her.

“Would be a shame if I…” her fingers pause, “stopped.” 

slowly they pull out of me, my body shaking with the empty promise of release. A knot in my belly begging to be untied.

“Ellie please”

I beg, as she steps back looking at her shiny fingers. Her eyes meet mine as she puts them in her mouth and sucks me off of them. I groan at the sight. 

“Be a good girl, and ill finish the job tonight.” 

She turns and leaves the bathroom.

[END OF AUDIO]

My chest still heaving, my cunt throbbing. I take a moment to gather myself and hop off the counter, pulling my dress up and down. Turning to look in the mirror I see a necklace of black and blue adorns my neck. 

Marked for everyone to see.

Hers.

[izzytheloser12]

~Kaishin and gosho boys incorrect quotes~

Shinichi : Kaito and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Heiji : *Sighing* What did Kaito do?

Shinichi : They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Kaito: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~~~~~

Conan: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Kaito: Plane tickets?

Hakuba: Concert tickets?

Heiji: Prostitution?

Conan, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Why is Kaito so sad?

Heiji: he took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Shinichi: And...?

Heiji: he got Hakuba.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Kaito: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Heiji ?

Heiji: Probably “road work ahead”.

Hakuba: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

~~~~~~~~

Hakuba: You read my diary?

Heiji: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

~~~~~~~

*kaito messing with them*

Hakuba: Okay, what does A stand for?

Kaito: Arson.

Hakuba: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

Kaito: Barson.

Heiji: *laughter*

Hakuba: What stands for C?

Kaito: Commit arson.

Heiji: Oooo.

Hakuba: D!

Kaito: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

Heiji: *more laughter*

~~~~~~~~

*kaito about shinichi*

Kaito: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: You know, Shinichi, you are the sun in my life.

Shinichi: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Kaito: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

~~~~~~~~

Aoko, texting: Kaito, will you please go to sleep?

Kaito, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

Aoko, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Aoko, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Kaito, texting: I’m trying

Aoko, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH

Aoko, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Hakuba: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Kaito: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

~~~~~~~~~

*before they started to dated*

Kaito: Shinichi is playing hard to get.

Kaito: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

sooo I have this idea, for Sam Winchester where (gn) reader does something stupid (up 2 u) and Sam gets rlly mad and they don’t talk for a while, but Dean and them are still in contact and go on hunt together every once in a while. Sam finds out (reader gets srsly injured) and you can end it how you see fit!

-💋

.⋆｡Risks and Rewards｡⋆.

Sam Winchester x plus size reader

You take risks on hunts, it’s what you do but this time, the risk was greater than the reward

Warnings: gn reader, injuries, angst, arguments, hunt gone wrong, bleeding out, reader is called beautiful, mutual pining, deathbed confessions, major character death, still a happy ending tho (you’ll see)

WC: 2k

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

“I can’t believe you!” Sam’s voice partially shook the very foundation of the safe house you had just barely made it back to. “I can’t believe you would do something so fucking stupid!” His hair is sticking up in a million different directions as a combination of dried blood and utter frustration.

“If it wasn’t for what I did, you both would be dead by now!” You shouted back but winced as you pulled at the hastily done stitches on your side. Dean’s arm, which was the only thing keeping you upright, tightened around your waist.

“Can we save this for later, maybe when we’re not all exhausted and hurt?”

“No!” You and Sam retorted at the same time. 

“There were way too many fucking vamps for you to handle alone, it was easy pickings for them!” Dean attempted to guide you to the single bedroom at the back of the cabin but you shook him off with a glare. “I did what either one of you would have done in that situation.”

Sam breathed heavily through his nose, the vein in his forehead bulging with anger. “You turned yourself into bait! You had no plan, no weapons, and no backup. You’re lucky that Dean got to his machete in time.” 

“I had it handled!” Pain ricocheted through your body as you tried to stay standing without any support and you felt the hot trickle of blood leak down onto your hip. 

“You were impaled!” 

“I was fine! I had them right where I wanted them.”

“So you wanted three vamps to be practically dogpiled on top of you while you bled out?” The question was rhetorical but you answered anyway.

“Yes! Three vamps on me meant that you both only had to deal with one each. It’s basic fucking math Samuel.” 

“You fucking-“

“Alright that’s enough!” Dean finally interjected. “It’s been a long hard day and we’re all a bit wound up. We can have a more rational conversation in the morning once we’ve all gotten some rest. So Sam, go clean yourself up and I’ll get some food ready. And you-“ He turned to you with a harsh look. “-You go sit down cause it looks like you’re about to pass out.”

Sam’s jaw clenched and his eyes flicked to you but he quickly looked away. “Fine.” He grumbled and stomped off to the bathroom, his duffle bag in hand. You flinched when the door slammed shut. Dean gingerly cupped your face like a father would to their child and wiped away a tear you hadn’t noticed rolling down your cheek.

“He didn’t mean it, he just got scared.” You scoffed.

“Go make your food Dean.” You knew you were being unnecessarily harsh to your friend but you were still too angry and hurt to act rationally. He sighed and stepped back.

He pointed to the couch. “Sit, I’ll take a look at those stitches when I’m done.” But as Dean turned away to the kitchen, you didn’t go to the couch, instead you grabbed your car keys from the side table and quietly hobbled out the door.

When Sam had finally finished his shower and redressed in clean clothes, he was considerably calmer. He knew you were right, that they needed a distraction to kill all those vamps but when he saw you- metal pipe through your side with three huge vampires trying to get a bite at you, his heart stopped. 

Sighing, he looked at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink. Your blood that had covered his hands was washed away but he could still feel it staining his skin. He had been on the edge of tears as he stitched you up in the back seat of his brother’s car but those tears had evaporated into anger when you doubled down on your actions.

You were reckless and stupid and gone.

Sam stepped back into the main room of the cabin and immediately noticed there was one less person. The wide open door to the bedroom showed that it was empty and with Dean in the kitchen, there was nowhere else you could be. “Dean, where are they?”

His brother immediately froze, gaze darting to the couch before looking out the window and seeing that your car was conveniently gone. “Son of a bitch.”

——————

It was the silence that was killing you. You could hear everything, the few animals that scurried around in the forest that surrounded you, the wind rustling the leaves in the branches overhead, the sound of your blood as it poured from the huge slash in your abdomen.

You knew no help was coming because you were alone.

You couldn’t feel the pain anymore and you supposed you were grateful for that. “At least it’s a clear night.” You murmured to yourself as you turned your gaze upwards to look at the stars. It was dumb to go hunt a wendigo alone but you were still mad and you had a point to prove. Although, since you hadn’t talked to him in nearly three months, Sam wouldn’t actually know that you won the argument but it was enough for you to prove him wrong without him knowing.

But now, now you want to be wrong. You would give anything to hear his voice just one more time, even if it was because he was yelling at you. 

It took all of your remaining strength to reach into your pocket for your phone, praying that it wasn’t cracked as you switched it back on. The bright screen illuminated your face. There was a text from Dean and one from Garth that obscured the photo in the background, the photo of you and your boys at the Grand Canyon.

With trembling fingers, you scrolled to Sam’s contact, his name surrounded by childish hearts like you were a middle schooler with a crush. His photo was one you took in secret, a candid shot of him reading a massive book. He was hunched over and his brown hair uncombed but his eyes shone in the dim light of the Bunker’s library. You hesitated over the call button.

The ringing of your phone overpowered all other sounds in the forest and you were grateful for the reprieve from the quiet. “Sam’s phone.” Dean’s voice echoed through the small clearing, slightly broken and muffled because of the poor cell service.

“Hey Dee.” You smiled, biting back a whimper of pain as you spoke. 

“Hey kid! It’s been a minute, you ok?” There was a brief pause as you summoned up the courage to lie to one of your closest friends.

“Yeah- yeah I’m good. Do you think you could get Sam for me? I wanted to talk to him.” 

“Course. Hey Sammy, phone for you!” Dean shouted and you could vaguely hear Sam yelling back at him ‘stop answering my phone jerk!’. There was a brief scuffle and then a new voice, one that immediately soothed the burn of your injuries and set your soul at ease.

“Hi.” He said as Dean retorted with a fond ‘bitch’. There was a thud and then the line went quiet for a second. “Sorry, you know how Dean is.”

You chuckled and blood dripped down from the corner of your lips. “Yeah I do.” There was a beat, an awkward silence falling over you. “Hey Sam-“

“I’m sorry.” He interrupted you. “You were right, and I’m sorry for yelling at you, you just really scared me. I don’t want to lose you, I lo-,” his voice became thick and he cleared his throat, “You’re important to me and I want to keep you safe.”

Your eyelids fluttered as tears began to build along your waterline. “I’m sorry too, I was being reckless, I just thought it was our best bet.” You tried to readjust your body on the cold ground but hissed as pain exploded through your stomach.

“Are you- fuck are you hurt?” The panic in Sam’s voice was like being doused in cold water. Suddenly the blissful fog you were floating in, that was undoubtedly shock, drifted away and everything crashed back into you.

“No no I’m fine.” You attempted to calmly reply but it came out as more of a sob. 

“Where are you?” You could hear the jingling of keys and thundering footsteps. You laughed tearfully.

“Nowhere you could get to in time. Just talk to me please, I want to hear your voice one more time.” The sounds stopped but he didn’t speak again. “Please Sam, do this one last thing for me.” 

He took in a shuddery breath. “Don’t do this. Tell me where you are.” His voice wavered and you knew he was close to tears.

“Sam-“

“Tell me.” 

“You fucker.” You huffed. “Montana, Custer National Park. Don’t know my exact coordinates.” Your legs were cold, far colder than they should have been considering it was August.

“Keep talking to me.” He spoke into the phone and then turned and yelled into the Bunker, calling for his brother and Cas. “C’mon let me hear your beautiful voice.”

“You think my voice is beautiful?” Your heart jumped even as you felt it slowing down.

“I think all of you is beautiful.” Tears rolled down your temples, wetting the dirt beneath your head. You sniffled and clutched your phone even tighter.

“You’re beautiful too. Most beautiful man 've ever met.” Your words started to slur together but you kept talking, just like he asked. You would do anything he asked. “Got those big hazel eyes nd nice hair. Never told you but you made me nervous when we first met. You were so big and you were frowning but then you smiled and I knew.”

“What did you know?” You smiled.

“I knew that I was gonna fall in love with you. And I did. Sam-“

“No. No.” He cut you off again. “You don’t get to tell me that, not now. Not when I’m not there with you to tell you that I feel the same. You can say it when we get you home safe.”

“Sam, I’m not gonna last that long.”

“You will.” He firmly replied. “You have to.”

“Ok, then I won’t tell you how meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me and I also won’t say that you became my home.” Blackness curled around the end of your vision, and the stars slowly began to disappear. “Why can’t I see the stars anymore?”

“Don’t you dare close your eyes!” Sam screamed but his voice began to fade away as the darkness settled over you.

“I’m sorry Sam.” Your eyes shut as a bright light appeared before you.

——————

The first thing Sam was aware of was the smell of pine. It was so achingly nostalgic, he couldn’t help but smile. The raging river beneath his feet provided just enough ambient sound to disguise the familiar purr of an engine.

“You certainly took your time getting here Winchester.”

You looked just like he remembered you, from your hair down to the smallest details on your skin. Dean stood next to you, arm thrown over your shoulder as he laughed.

“He was always the slow one.” Sam just smiled and embraced his older brother, holding him as tightly as he could. Dean cupped the back of his head before letting him go with a teary smile. “You did it Sammy.”

They pulled away from each other and Dean gestured to you. “Go on, they’ve been waiting for a long time.” 

Sam approached you slowly, his smile growing wider with each step. You looked away bashfully. “I know we didn’t end off on a great note and my death was ever so slightly dramatic so you can be mad at me all you want.”

His big hands cupped your wide hips, pulling your attention back to him. “Tell me.” Your eyes sparkled under the setting sun.

“I love you Sam.” And as he kissed you for the first time, everything clicked into place and you both realised that maybe the risk of hunting was definitely worth the reward.

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[syringesyrup]

Swissdew first kiss? Idk if you’ve written that before or not buuuuuuuttttttt hey?

don’t ever ask me for swissdew ever again i’m crazier than all of you

warning for uh. suggestive shit i guesssss idk Old Men Ghoul Yaoi.

A lot of crazy shit happens in Dewdrop’s life.

Being pulled from the pits of Hell, playing in some Earth band because apparently it’s what the man downstairs wants, having his entire biology changed and set aflame. See? Crazy shit.

And he takes it. He takes all of it. Each hammer to his side, each beat down. He somehow always manages to get back up at the end of it all, no matter how much it fucking sucks.

What he can’t seem to take is the living and breathing pain in his ass that is the new ghoul. A multi ghoul, because that’s a thing that exists, who has not shut his mouth since he crawled out of the summoning circle that was not meant for him. The Clergy found use of him, of course, no matter how hesitant the Cardinal was at the sight of a ghoul who was far too powerful. The question was if it was even safe to have a ghoul with such unstable magic be in front of humans. Not that taking risks was something they didn’t do.

The worst part? The most excruciating and aggravating part of it all?

Dewdrop likes him. He can’t get enough of him.

He’s insanely funny. He’s always clever with his jokes, crafting them so quickly and ensuring a laugh from everyone in the room. His confidence with each jest only makes him funnier. He even gets Sister Imperator to laugh. What a rare sight. It pisses him off when all his little comments make Dew crack a smile. He has to turn his head away each time, not wanting to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him smile at such a dumb joke.

Not to mention his talent. For some reason, he just knows how to play every single instrument that is thrown at him. He nearly beat Mountain’s drums to death on his first week. His voice, gravelly and angelic, makes Dew’s heart falter each time he sings so beautifully into a mic or just casually. His fingers are careful, playing each note on a guitar perfectly. It drives Dew up the wall with how good he is at it. How skilled his fingers are. Dew grows curious with that realization. He thinks about it a lot. More than he should.

And he’s so, so fucking hot.

His arms drive Dew nuts. Thick and strong enough to do all the things Dew would ask of him. His shoulders, his fucking shoulders. Broad and built to handle the weight of a guitar for hours. His chest doesn’t help Dew get much sleep at night either. It’s unnecessarily bold and melts down into the pudge of his stomach. Sue him, but Dew has a thing for tummies. A place where he can bury his face and fall fast asleep against the warmth. He wonders if Swiss’ stomach holds a heat, like a fire ghoul pillow. The thought of it makes Dew purr and get red in the face. And, oh Lucifer, his ass. It’s nothing like what Rain has packing, but it’s enough to make Dew stare long enough that Swiss has definitely caught him. Dew has stared at what he has packing in the front, too. He’s seen the way Swiss’ pants hug him tightly up there. It makes Dew’s mouth water, the thought of him between Swiss’ legs just sucking greedily on his-

“Earth to Dewdrop. Are you reading me?”

Dew jolts up. He doesn’t even remember where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. He takes a step back and blinks, registering the rest of his bandmates staring at him. Right. Practice.

“There you are.” Copia smiles. “Everything okay?” He’s far too kind for Dew’s liking. It almost seems malicious.

Dew nods’ gripping his guitar and strumming a bit. “Sorry. Where are we?”

“Just starting Con Clavi.” Copia says, fumbling with the microphone in his gloved hand. “Rain was just about to start for us.”

Dew nods. “Right. Okay.”

Copia stares for a moment longer, worry in his eyes before he turns to Rain and gestures vaguely. The water ghoul nods before adjusting his shoulders and beginning to strum on his bass. Dew misses when it was his turn to play this song. When it was his song.

He lets his eyes flicker a bit too far, landing on Swiss.

He’s smiling at Dew.

No, he’s grinning. He adjusts his guitar in front of him, reeling up to push his hips into it. Dew swallows hard, watching as the multi ghoul grinds into his guitar with a dark haze in his eyes that just won’t leave Dew’s own.

When Swiss flicks his tongue out of his mouth and licks at his fang, Dew has to look away before he forgets how to even play guitar.

.

“Distracted today?” Swiss asks him as they all file out of the practice room. “Feeling okay?”

“Fine.” Dew mumbles, attempting to weave his way through the crowd of ghouls and away from Swiss before he loses his composure. He almost makes his way in front of Cirrus before a large hand wraps around his wrist, holding him back.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Swiss laughs. “What’s the rush?”

“I have…things to do.” Dew lies through his teeth. He’s trying not to lose his mind due to the realization that Swiss’ entire hand wraps around Dew’s wrist so easily. His fingers are touching his palm. His stupid big ass hands that Dew wants inside of him-

“Hopefully things means sleep. You look sick, spitfire.” Swiss observes, leaning down to get a better look at Dew’s red face. “Can fire ghouls get fevers?”

“I’m fine.” Dew grumbles, pushing himself away from Swiss. The rest of the band has already turned the corner, leaving the two of them alone at the end of the hall. “Stop touching me.”

“Sorry.” Swiss frowns, retracting away from Dew. “Seriously. Get some rest.” Swiss says before stepping around Dew.

He’s free. He’s finally free from how close Swiss just was. He’s free from what could have been a disaster. He almost wants to smile at the relief he feels. He takes in a deep breath, and wow, he can breathe.

He’s a fool. No, he’s a fucking idiot. When does he ever catch a break.

Swiss’ hand collides with his ass, a meaningless gesture. Dew clearly does not expect it or else he would have stopped himself from moaning at it.

It gets deafeningly quiet after that.

Dew’s hands slap over his mouth and he leans down, eyes wide as he stares at the floor. Anywhere that isn’t Swiss’ face. He watches the multi stop dead in his tracks and slowly turn, staring down at Dew with impossibly wide eyes.

Dew wants to die.

“No way.” Swiss says. “No fucking way.”

“Sh-shut up. Please, shut up.” Dew mumbles, taking a step back to escape. Futile. Swiss is already grabbing his wrists and rendering him useless. Dew bites the inside of his cheek as he watches his large hands hold him still. Dew wants more. He wants his hands everywhere. On him, inside of him. Just everywhere.

“Dewdrop, what was that?” Swiss asks, and Dew can fucking hear the smile in his voice. Dew shakes his head as he continues to look down. He’s in so much trouble if he looks Swiss in the eyes right now.

“Dewww.” Swiss coos, his voice laced with venom. “What was that?”

“You scared me.” Dew tries. “I was startled. Shut up.”

“Uh-huh.” Swiss grins. “I’m sure.”

“Let me go.” Dew whispers. He can feel his body heat rising. This is far too dangerous for the both of them.

“Oh, I don’t think you want me to.” Swiss says. Dew, who didn’t think he could possibly embarrass himself any further, whines at Swiss’ words. He hears Swiss’ breath hitch at it, surprising the both of them.

“I stand corrected.” Swiss laughs. “I knew it.”

Then, Dew makes the worst mistake of all time.

He looks at Swiss.

“Oh, fuck.”

He’s so much better up close. Dew can see the way his pupils flex in his eyes as he studies Dew. The way his freckles dust across his face like stars. The curl of his hair and his beard, curling up at the base of his curved horns. The light that sparkles off of his piercings. Dew looks at his lip ring and swallows hard. He wonders how that would feel. Swiss opens his mouth to laugh and Dew stares at the black ball on his tongue. Oh, now that. That must feel good.

“I knew you wanted me.” Swiss grins. “I could fucking smell it on you, ya know? Cinnamon works well for you.”

Dew swallows again despite how dry his throat is right now. He parts his lips, stuttering as he tries to find the words he knows his brain possesses. Swiss laughs lowly as he watches Dew struggle.

“C’mon. Use your words, sweetheart.” Swiss coos, making Dew’s knees feel like they’re not there anymore. He reaches up slowly, gripping at the loops of Swiss’ belt tightly and tugging.

“Trying.” Dew mumbles, slipping his eyes shut as he breathes shakily. “I’m trying.”

“You got it.” Swiss soothes, moving a hand up to rest on the back of Dew’s neck. The spikes there instinctively perk up to no avail. Swiss holds them down, safe from any damage they may cause.

Dew shakes his head. He can’t do this. This is stupid. This is horrible and cliché and he can’t think-

“Please.” Is all Dew can muster. It’s the only word he can even remember right now. Well. Besides the multi ghoul’s name. His knees finally buckle when Swiss pushes on the back of his neck, craning his head up as Swiss moves in.

“Again.” Swiss whispers, just an inch from his face. “I want you to mean it.”

“Please, please, please.” Dew begs, holding onto Swiss like it’s the only thing he knows how to do. Swiss growls, actually fucking growls, before yanking Dew up and smashing their lips together.

Dew moans into his mouth, hot with need and cries of please and Swiss with each small part of their lips. Swiss wastes no time with it either, already pushing his tongue in and pressing the black metal ball against Dew’s own. It makes Dew choke for a moment before he bathes in it. Bathes in the way Swiss tastes like hot smoke and candy, the little strawberry wrapped ones that he was given by Copia when his newly summoned tastebuds were ablaze.

Swiss hooks an arm around his waist, pushing him back against a door as he fumbles to open it. They fall back into it, stumbling into the closet before Swiss kicks the door shut behind them. Dew hears supplies clatter behind him as Swiss pushes him against the shelf, his hands digging under Dew’s shirt as he moves up to grab at his chest. Dew winces when he hooks a claw through one of the rings on his nipple and tugs slightly. Swiss hums, smiling down at Dew in the limited lighting of the closet.

“You like that, huh?” Swiss grins. Dew nods, lips parted as he pants a ‘uh-huh’. His hair is a mess now, his bun slowly coming loose from having his head rubbed against the wall. Swiss smiles at him before slowly leaning closer, his lips ghosting over Dew’s neck. Dew shudders, his hands gripping at Swiss’ arms as he feels Swiss smile against his neck. Dew can’t help the noise that escapes him when Swiss runs his tongue across Dew’s skin, his fangs poking slightly into the sensitive skin there. Swiss smiles against his skin again, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest before he moves his hand down to undo his belt. The sound of it makes Dew buck his hips up, grinding on Swiss’ thigh that has found its way in between Dew’s legs. Swiss only laughs as he moves up to growl in Dew’s ear, leaving the fire ghoul shaking.

“Let’s see what else you like.”

[sysakiddo]

I finally edited chapter 6 of diplomacy au y'all! I struggled a bit with a burnout after getting my degree in january lol but hopefully it won't take so long for another chapter to appear!!

ao3, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

“It's like watching the most awkward first date happen in front of your eyes. And you know, of course, that they are not going to fuck.” Max says after taking a long sip of his third gin and tonic. 

Everybody who hears him laughs, already watching the couple standing by the bar. Charles tugs his ear in what seems to be a nervous tick while Sebastian casually leans on the chair, even though he is everything but casual. He watches every move of the man in front of him, shuffling his feet a bit when Charles licks his lips after a sip of his skinny bitch. 

“Pathetic,” Alex laughs, not unkindly. “It seems to me like there is no salvation for them,” George adds, leaning forward on the couch they all squeezed on to see the show in front of them. 

Anne doesn't feel like this is something she can ask them about. That is not to say that she is not terribly curious and confused about how one could refuse Charles Leclerc giving them heart eyes while biting his lips. Instead, she breaches a topic she thinks is a safe zone. “If you think this is tacky, how did you guys meet?” 

Daniel looks at his hands immediately, a nervous huff escaping from his lips. He hates telling that story. He rarely ever thinks about that time now unless he really needs to. The swirling of the ice in his negroni makes a loud noise. 

Because truthfully, Max met Daniel at his lowest. It was in his LA house, where he spent most of his time, the D.C. office vacant more often than not. They turned up just as the sun was setting, Sebastian and Max. It was the older man who insisted on introducing them.

Daniel straight out refused. He didn't care about Sebastian’s little charity project. It went too far, saving aggressive puppies, Jesus. He did not want to meet anyone named Verstappen when he wasn't paid to do so. 

Daniel was barefoot, his swimming trunks still a bit wet. The LV shirt had an obnoxious pink print and it was slipping from his shoulders. It was late enough that he was glowing from the sun, the diamonds on his necklace shining. He looked at the wunderkind, at Max, the youngest ambassador in the US ever. 

Max wore a three-piece suit despite the day being too hot for it. His Berlutis were gleaming, and he was straight-up glaring at Daniel.

“Howdy,” he grinned at them. Sebastian assessed Daniel's pupils, shaky hands and a sheen of sweat on his forehead with a grim face. He gave him the pep talk about easing off the drugs just a few days ago. Max extended his hand, and Daniel shook it. It was a reflex. Max’s palm was warm and soft. 

Sebastian cleared his throat. “As I told you, Max, this is Daniel-” 

“I, of course, know who he is.” Max didn't let Sebastian finish his sentence, coming off unnecessarily rude. Daniel laughed awkwardly. 

“Sounds like I'm famous, baby.” he winked at Sebastian and from the corner of his eye, he saw Max visibly cringe. 

“We met at work, Anne. Sebastian introduced us when we were all in the USA. He is painfully proud of that, calls himself a matchmaker and everything.” Max huffs out a laugh. He knows Daniel feels uneasy and puts the target on his back to protect him. Like usually.

“Who did the first move then?” Anne asks, just as Charles, who lost Sebastian somewhere on the way between the bar and the table, makes it back to them. 

“Oh, Daniel did. It was very romantic.” Max says matter of factly. When Daniel finally looks up, he is surprised to see his eyes foggy, as if he is experiencing the moment for the first time again. 

Nevertheless, Daniel huffs, mad that Max always uses his version of the story. “Romantic? You slapped me!” 

“Well, it is only right I did,” Max shrugs. “I, of course, thought you were making fun of me.”

Charles giggles, which is honestly progress. He was the one who took the fall, consoling Max after he returned from their dinner, fidgeting with his fingers, two red stains high on his cheeks. His voice sounded like he was eating gravel for dinner when he told him Daniel had kissed him. He was rapidly blinking like he was trying too hard not to cry, and Charles still thought it was the best proof of his professionalism, the fact that he hadn’t laughed to his face right there. But. He locked himself in the bathroom after Max somehow calmed down, turned on the faucet, and laughed hysterically. 

Max originally feared Daniel had figured him out and was just playing mind games. He thought Daniel was ridiculing him, or worse, he tried a new technique to manipulate and eventually blackmail him. What enraged him the most was the fact he wasn't prepared for it. He hasn't read a tutorial named what-to-do-when-your-counterpart-kisses-you in any of the assigned readings in the university. 

The only emotion Daniel felt when Max slapped him across the face immediately after the kiss was pure humiliation. He couldn't believe he read the signs wrong, him, Daniel Ricciardo. It was unheard of. Plus, Max did kiss him back for a few seconds. But then. 

And Daniel felt stupid and walked home alone and got drunk alone and fell asleep alone. 

Now, Daniel looks at Max with deep empathy. He squeezes his thigh, smiling. 

“Well, that shitshow was still a lot better than Baku,” Charles says with a grimace. That wasn't Max stuttering and rubbing his red eyes furiously; that was Max throwing random things across the room, his scream ricocheting through the whole hotel floor. 

Daniel snapped at Charles, “No, we’re not talking about Baku!“ Charles smirked, looking at him with a look that meant trouble. But Daniel has never in his life been scared of Charles. He was such a sweet kid before he fell under Seb’s influence. He takes a second to mourn the version of him he knew before he introduced Seb to him. 

“Always you are mad because you don’t want to admit you were wrong. Christian also said you of course did not act according to the protocol.” Max buts in, chronically unable to get over things. 

Daniel turns to Max with a stormy expression, the empathy all but gone. “Christian would also suck your dick if you asked, I don't see how his opinion is valid in this situation.” he spits out.

Charles hums, taking another sip of his skinny bitch. “He does seem to touch you an awful lot, when you are together, Max.” 

“That’s exactly my point, thank you, Charles.” Daniel is done, scoffing. 

Max, however, is just about to start another rant. “But Daniel, I told you your tactic wouldn't work. You pulled out of the negotiations too soon, it was very amateurish from you, you must admit at least that. Who leaves the negotiating table with no backup plan?” he gets into it, flaring his hands around like an octopus. “It just buggs me, you know, that you still blame me. You of course made a mistake, Daniel, and that happens but it was a stupid rookie mistake and you should have apologized-” 

Daniel stands up abruptly. “Hey, Max?” 

For a frightening second, Anne thinks he is going to deck his husband right there.

Max just hums, looking up. “I love you,” Daniel says surprisingly, bending down and giving Max a loud, smacking kiss. Then he turns around and leaves to the bar to stand next to Sebastian who resurfaced in the meantime. 

When Anne looks at Max, he is red as a tomato, glaring at the straw in his drink. “Well, what was I saying-” he stutters, interrupted by the laughter of the men sitting across from him. 

“I can't believe this shit is still working out for him, oh my god.” Alex wheezes. 

“Manipulative bitch,” George quips, still giggling.

Max is unimpressed. “Don't call him that.” he snaps and glares at him, George shutting up immediately. 

Charles looks at Anne and smiles a little. “I think maybe it is time for us to go home. I'm terribly tired. What do you think?”

Anne nods, pointedly not saying anything about noticing how Sebastian kept yawning at his spot beside Daniel. 

||

Daniel doesn't understand why he wakes up at first. It's pitch black, the blackout curtains doing their job properly. He stares at the ceiling for a bit, then closes his eyes to make himself fall back asleep. 

“Ik zal het oplossen.” Max meowls in Dutch next to him. “I just need more time! Ik zal het halen, dat beloof ik. No, no!” 

It clicks for Daniel, Max's rigged breaths, which he has not noticed before. The night air is suddenly too cold. 

He runs his hand up and down Max's forearm, not saying anything but his name to wake him up. When Max snaps out of his dream, his whole body violently twitches, and he slaps Daniel's hand away. 

“Hey, it's okay now,” Daniel isn't deterred, his hand finding a way to Max's hair, waiting him out. “It was just a dream. You are safe.” 

Max's breaths come out staggering like he just returned from his run. After a few minutes, he finally opens his eyes and looks at Daniel. A macabre grimace is on his face, something that wanted to be a smile. 

“I wasn't prepared again, Daniel,” he whispers. Daniel hums, not answering in any way, even though he subconsciously clenches the fist that's not playing with Max's hair. 

“You are safe with me,” Daniel says, trying to ease Max's shivering and make the haunted flicker in his eyes go away. He never shared any gruesome details about his time in military school. But. It's not like he had to. “Do you maybe want to take a shower?” he asks him and Max hesitantly nods.

They only fall back asleep when the birds are already chirping outside.

[princess-of-purple-prose]

Yoo Joonghyuk vs. Online Shopping

In which Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk disagree on what Yoo Joonghyuk’s post-scenarios wardrobe should look like.

786 words; read on AO3!

“And now that you don’t have to worry about blood showing through, we can get you some other wavelengths of light in your closet, too,” Han Sooyoung says breezily. Yoo Joonghyuk, who had been tuning her out for a good ten minutes, finally feels some faint alarm bell go off in his head at those words, and he pauses his game to turn to look at what she’s brandishing a finger at: her computer screen, filled with rows and rows of images of… trendy modern clothing.

“What,” he says.

“Colors, Yoo Joonghyuk, colors,” Han Sooyoung says, rolling her eyes. “I’m saying you can branch out with, like, a blue shirt or two. Maybe green if we’re feeling adventurous.”

“Why would I do that.”

Han Sooyoung’s mouth slants at his flat tone. “Well, you’ve always kind of stuck to permutations of your outfit from scenario one, and the black coat... I mean, it’s hot, yeah, but is it even practical anymore? Let me tell you right now: we’ve all noticed it isn’t sweat-resistant anymore.” Kim Dokja, sitting away from the other two at the dining room table, makes an indeterminate sound—possibly a smothered protest, possibly a chuckle. “You can’t only ever alternate between that and lame tracksuits and identical goddamned black sweaters, is what I’m saying. You suck all the light out of the room just by standing in it.”

“Yah, Sooyoung-ah, give his face some credit, too,” Kim Dokja calls. Yoo Joonghyuk glares at him, and Kim Dokja beams—first at Yoo Joonghyuk, then at Han Sooyoung. “See! He’s doing the face right now!”

Han Sooyoung sighs gustily. “Either help me get this idiot a new wardrobe or just shut up, Kim Dokja,” she calls back, unnecessarily loud for the scant distance between them, before following it up with a disparaging mutter about Kim Dokja’s tastes that Yoo Joonghyuk doubts he was meant to hear. Or—no, actually, Han Sooyoung absolutely intended for him to catch the derisive comment on his chuunibyou tendencies.

Han Sooyoung turns away and points demonstratively at the screen. Yoo Joonghyuk stares wordlessly at it, then at her. She sighs again, with less affectation this time. “Listen. It won’t kill you to expand your wardrobe, is all I’m saying. Actually do some justice to that physique, why don’t you?”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s lips tighten. “I like my coat.”

Han Sooyoung looks up to squint at him quizzically. “I know??”

“And I like black,” Yoo Joonghyuk says, still toneless.

Han Sooyoung scoffs. “We’ll get you a new coat if it matters that much, dumbass. But you—”

“And,” Yoo Joonghyuk glowers, “I am going to continue wearing both.”

Han Sooyoung visibly restrains herself from putting her face in her hands. “I’m not saying you can’t keep the fucking coat, okay. I’m just saying—begging—for you to wear something other than identical black turtlenecks. Fine, I won’t put you in a crop top, but we’re going to get you in something brighter than navy blue if it’s the last thing I do, you hear?”

“No.”

There's a long silence, broken only by Kim Dokja cheering under his breath at whatever mobile game or webnovel it is that he’s been entertaining himself with.

“No to…?” Han Sooyoung prompts, voice hovering at a precarious edge between incredulity and unbound fury. “Answer me, moron. No to what? To buying a single piece of clothing that doesn’t look like it came from that shitty dragon’s shitty merch line? Is that what you mean?” 

Yoo Joonghyuk is silent.

“... Stop bullshitting me, Yoo Joonghyuk.”

“...”

“No, are you serious?”

“...”

“You know what? Fuck you. What the fuck do I even try for,” Han Sooyoung says spitefully. She navigates away from the page she’d been on with great vindictiveness, muttering with bloody intent. “Goddamn protagonists and their one-note wardrobes, who do you think you are, you clow—” She jabs a key so hard it’s difficult to believe in its continuing functionality. “I’m getting you cargo shorts.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk nods and settles back against the couch, clicking resume with his controller. “That’s fine.”

“What the fuck?!” Han Sooyoung cries over the renewed sounds of Mario Kart pinging through the room.

“It’s the pockets,” Kim Dokja calls without looking up from his phone.

“It’s also Yoo Joonghyuk!” Han Sooyoung shrieks, flailing her arms at him.

“You don’t have to get the cargo shorts,” says the man in question.

“Fuck you, obviously I have to get the shorts now!” Han Sooyoung shrills. Yoo Joonghyuk sighs. Kim Dokja, apparently less absorbed in his screen than it would seem, snickers.

“Just for that, Kim Dokja,” Han Sooyoung promises darkly. “I’m buying you shorts too.” He looks up, protest hanging off his lips, and she growls. “Khakhi ones.”

[flourbray]

while fixing my flat tire this morning i pondered the question if and who of the cyclists know how to do it. like not only change a whole wheel, but get the tube out, find the hole, put the little sticker on it, get it back in (be so fucking frustrated bc now the brakes are making weird things and when they come back 20mins later the fucking tire is fucking flat again)? what do you think? which of them would feel me?

this is a SUPERB question and one that merits much consideration 🤔

i'm assuming/hoping they all at one point or other, did in fact know how to maintain their own bikes (hmmm. most of them at least.)

however, after many years of being handed a shiny new sponsor bike every January and spending almost all of their time riding a handful of minutes away from a team car/mechanic/NSV for spare bikes/wheels, it's entirely possible they've forgotten. having a crack team of mechanics servicing your bike's every need will undoubtedly lead to forgetting stuff

okay seriousness over let's get silly!

long gone are the days of pros carrying spare tubes over their shoulders (which is a shame because it's hot), but who, given the opportunity, would be capable of fixing a puncture?

direct evidence:

Wout van Aert ✔️

growing up as a teenager in cross without an eminent father and the connections that brings, bikepacker in the off season, wout can 100% fix it himself and wash the bike at the end of the ride

at the opposite end of of the spectrum, G ✖️

after eighteen years as a pro i'm not sure whether g remembers how to change rim brake pads let alone discs. the team give him a fresh pinarello and he rides it. simple. when it breaks a mechanic gives him another one. though once he retires the knowledge will come back to him

distantly justified gut feelings/completely unjustified Visions:

tadej ✔️ he can change tubes but always forgets the left pedal screws the opposite way

remco ✖️ owns at least one unnecessarily fancy multitool that he has never used. aero nerd but basic maintenance eludes him

mathieu ✔️ but it will take a fair while because he has not done it in soooo long and he doesn't remember to check the tyre for embedded sharps (this could be causing your repeated flat or the tube may be caught between tyre bead and rim)

jasper ✖️ forgets shoes and socks on training camp. has never bought his own inner tubes; begs one from someone else on the group ride and then struggles with a tyre lever for 20 minutes before someone takes pity

jonas ✔️ part time carpenter adept at handiwork, has been given the same unnecessarily fancy multitool as remco (BY remco? at the vuelta?) but it's unused in favour of an infinitely more practical one.

tom (pidcock) ✔️

joshy t ✖️ the lad vaguely knows what an innertube is and that you can pop them by putting the pressure too high but has never had to handle one himself

mads ✔️✔️ father (dads pedersen, if you will) runs a bike shop. not only can mads change a tube in under four minutes but he will show others how to look after their bikes and get irritated at poor maintence

matej ✔️✔️✔️ in another timeline it's moho instead of frank herzegh who invents tubeless tyres

[ltwilliammowett]

Can you do a short term list for us in a funny way?

Welcome my dear newcomers aboard HMS Surprise. You have been exclusively selected ( or gently beaten up and dragged here) to join us on our South America tour. I promise you excitement, sleepless nights, beautiful scenery, storms, sunburn, no water and a bloody French…. oops I mean great adventure. To help you find your way around on board, here's a short list of important terms.

Landlubber - you, if you need this list - speak a non-sailor who simply has no idea about being a sailor.

Ship - your new workplace - this wooden lady is now your everything and treat her well, she is your life insurance to get you home safely. But be careful, she is very headstrong and if you want to tell me now that she is just an object, you thought wrong. She is very much a living individual and she will make you feel that.

The rigging - that sort of spider's nest above you - is there to operate the sails. Look forward to getting to know the ropes very well.

Sails - those cloth rags hanging from the thick wooden poles. They are used for locomotion and are not blankets.

Wheel - this strange wooden wheel with spikes on it - no, it is not an instrument of torture, but is used for steering.

Anchor - heavy, made of iron and keeps our lady in place.

Compass - this strange thing that lives in a box and is constantly moving back and forth. To cut a long story short: You know which way is north and you can keep your course. You'll soon know it by heart.

Captain - Boss

1st Lieutenant - Second boss and the one who can really fuck you up if he wants to. Get in good line and please don't suck up to him. But he is the one who puts you in everything, be it ward, mess, hammock, etc.

2.nd. Lieutenant - me and I too can make you uncomfortable.

Master - knows where the sails hang and what course to set. Takes just a little more work off the boss.

Purser - is responsible for your food rations, but will also try to get you to buy something from him to make life on board a little easier. Don't do this, he's quite expensive.

Sailor - Your new colleagues, and depending on their years of service, they will know how to handle that wooden lady, how to set the sails and so on. You'll learn it too.

Old Salt - an experienced old sailor, stick with him if you want to learn and he is willing to share his knowledge.

Surgeon - the name says it all. We have a good one on board, be lucky. And if you're lucky, you'll come home with all your body parts.

Midshipmen - mini officers who still need to learn. They can be quite demanding and annoying, especially when many of them are still very young. But don't be surprised if a 12-year-old gives you orders, he's allowed to.

Mess - the place where you eat

Cannon - heavy, iron, dirty, hot and with a loud bang. Used to stop the enemy or inflict serious damage. Keep your limbs to yourself and only follow the instructions of those who know what to do with them. Otherwise you will only injure yourself unnecessarily.

Cannonball - heavy, made of stone or iron. Come into the cannon and please do not trip over it.

Admiral - comes along sometimes. Is the boss of the boss

Hammock - your bed, but don't get too comfortable in it because you won't get much sleep anyway.

Rum - elixir of life, next to coffee

Powder monkeys - yes, they are children, but they know what to do and you can learn something from them too.

Boatswain - also called Bosun, he whistles the orders and drives you to work. He is also your wake-up call.

Marine - our sea soldiers, there aren't very many of them, but the few that there are are fine. They are there for the safety on board.

Cutlasses, muskets, grenades, axes, etc. - makes autsch, hopefully not with you. You will learn to handle them.

Cook - as the name suggests, and yes, having only one leg is normal.

Quarterdeck - not your dance area, that's the officers' area, you're only allowed there if your duty requires it.

Wardroom - also not your area. This is where we officers live and have some privacy.

Great Cabin - living and working area of the captain (you remember? - boss).

Gun deck - remember those big black things that bang loudly? they live here.

Berth deck - this is where you live, sleep and eat. Don't worry, it doesn't get cold there, you share the space with about 170 men.

Well, there is more, but I think that should be enough to start with. The rest will come naturally later. Don't stress about it and I think you will enjoy next year by the sea so much that you will want to come back.

[strangerqueerthings]

Speak.

Explicit, Mungrove.

"Jesus, man do you ever stop talking, come on!"

He's verbose on the field, a shit talker, a cajoler, arrogant, full of himself and ever spouting what he knows will drive his opponents into making a mistake out of impatient irritation.

Which is why he's astonished that he's found himself silent. Words have failed him, but his breath is hard and rapid in his throat, hot and ragged, his mouth and throat are dry as sandpaper.

Words have failed him because the way Eddie is arching his back beneath him has rendered him incapable of the bravado and bluster that usually leaves his lips.

Eddie's a shit talker, too. Challenging authority, yelling or shouting to emphasise his words when he knows he has an audience he's pissing off.

He can't help it. His brain demands he state his opinion, even if it isn't wanted, because if no one says what needs to be said, no one will think about it.

He hates "the norm," the "status quo." He hates being told to conform or be trampled.

So he speaks. He yells. And he can't stop.

He especially can't stop when Billy's inside him. He cries out, moans, keens like a wounded animal, pants and all but howls Billy's name as his fingers clench in the sheet spread awkwardly in the back of the van.

Eddie knows he'll be mortified when the sex is over, for being so loud, so unnecessarily vocal, but he can't stop.

Billy moves on top of him, inside him in ways that make his head swim, his world spinning dangerously as Billy fills him to the brim.

His fingers grip his hips like talons with an iron grip, and Eddie is sure he's going to find bruises there but he can't wait.

It's proof Billy didn't want to let him go, that he grabbed onto him for dear life as he fucked Eddie like a thing posessed.

Billy loves how Eddie, the master of story telling, the silver tongued outcast, has lost his wits from being pinned under Billy's weight, writhing and pushing his hips back against Billy's to take him in as far as their bodies will allow.

Billy has no words, and all Eddie can say is Billy's name.

For the first time, neither of them need to speak.

[artiststarme]

A Date Gone Wrong

A little humor for you guys! I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

Eddie was never going to let Steve plan any of their dates ever again. He was having fun for a while, he would give him that. The hike was a little too much of a trek but the view, picnic, and company were amazing…

Until the squirrel came. 

For the past couple of weeks that they’d been dating, Eddie had been the one making all of the plans. He arranged movie nights, smoke outs, and trips to the bowling alley. He liked planning things and focusing all of his attention into making the best plans he could, it was what made him such a good DM. But he could understand why Steve felt he himself wasn’t putting enough effort in. He showed his love through gifts and cuddled affection. However, Steve was not good at planning. He decided for his first date to take Eddie to do something requiring physical exertion, and not in a fun way. Also, he unknowingly took Eddie to a place where he was surrounded by things he didn’t like. 

Fresh air, sunlight, mean and scary rodents with bushy tails, bugs, the list continues. But Eddie was doing a great job ignoring all of that by focusing on Steve. He looked amazing and his tan skin stretched over delicious muscles as he walked. Even the sun was focusing on how hot his boyfriend was. The beams of sunlight that fell on him made him look like an angel.

They sat down just past midday to eat the picnic Steve prepared for them and inside the little cooler was the best sandwich Eddie had ever tasted. He groaned in pleasure and sent Steve a thumbs up. He’d never experienced a grilled chicken sandwich with pesto mayonnaise as delicious as this one. Eddie was just starting to relax, to enjoy this outdoors date when it happened. 

A small squirrel ran up to Steve and climbed into his lap, nibbling on the crumbs from his sandwich that rested there. The both paused, albeit for different reasons. Steve didn’t want to disrupt the little creature or scare it at all so he didn’t move a muscle. Eddie, though, was terrified and he couldn’t move out of fear. He’d been terrified of squirrels ever since he was a kid when he was chased, peed on, and climbed on in quick succession when he’d first moved in with Wayne. Now was no exception.

But he was also torn because he was dating a true life Disney princess and he couldn’t help but see the situation as unnecessarily adorable even despite his heart pounding in his chest. He enjoyed the view for another moment before the squirrel jumped off of Steve’s lap and took a tiny step towards him. 

Then, all bets were off. Eddie screamed shrilly in terrified horror and threw the glorious sandwich at the rabid beast. It barely even paused its stride and skittered ever closer.  

“Steve! It’s after me, ahhhhh!” He shrieked. Eddie stumbled to his feet and took off running down the trail they’d used to get to that spot. He kept running, wheezing and all, until he reached the Beemer. He put his hands on his knees and panted as he regained his breath. Eddie hadn’t had such a close encounter with death since the Upside Down a few months ago. It’s a wonder he could even outrun the bats then because his lungs right now felt like they could explode. He had to stop smoking so much, Jesus Christ. 

He recognized that Steve wasn’t beside him but he was only slightly worried. He saw him rip a demobat in half before so he would be fine… probably. 

Just a few minutes later, he heard a throat clear above him. He looked up to find Steve wearing the most unimpressed look he’s ever seen from him. “What the hell, Eddie?! It was a squirrel!”

“I have a deathly squirrel of fears! Fuck- no, I mean I have a deathly fear of squirrels! I feel like I’ve mentioned it before.”

“You definitely have not! I would’ve remembered that, for sure.” Steve accentuated his words with jerks of his head full of judgment. 

Deciding to be a little shit for the afternoon, Eddie decided to mess with him. “Stevie, I am positive that I told you. We had a whole conversation about it, you were very understanding.”

“Oh, no, no!” Steve pointed an accusing finger at him. “Do not turn this around on me! Robin told you not to use my head trauma to your advantage, you manipulative bastard. I will call her!”

“Okay, okay, Big Boy, calm down. Jesus Christ, I’m just messing around. Please don’t sic your lesbian guard dog on me!” Eddie pleaded with him, laughter in his chest. 

“My god Munson, get in the car.”

“This stays between us though, right? Because Buckley threatened to shave my eyebrows off the next time I did that and I’m pretty sure you’re a fan of my eyebrows. They really bring my face together,” Eddie asked him over the hood of the car.

“Fine but you owe me,” Steve said humorously pointing a finger at him. 

“Oh Stevie, don’t you know already that everything of mine is already yours?” 

Steve’s face flushed red and he grumbled once more before ducking into his car. Eddie wouldn’t let him hide that adorable little blush though and he climbed in right after him. He grabbed his free hand in his and brought it up to his lips for a kiss, pulling out all of the romantic movies he could before Steve could make a move of his own. He loved this guy and if an outdoor excursion, squirrel attacks, and threats from Robin Buckley were conditions to keep him happy, Eddie would handle them in stride.

Steve drove them back to the Munson trailer where they smoked a little, cuddled, and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It was one of the best days of Eddie's life and by far the best date he'd ever been on. With an ending like this, it wasn’t such a bad date after all.

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[tau1tvec]

How do you stop worrying that your sims posts won't be perfect? Is it possible to escape the "this isn't instantly, effortlessly amazing and therefore it sucks and is horrible" mindset?

Well first of all you need to sit down and figure what it is that defines “perfect” to you. Now lower those expectations by about 25%, bc it’s likely you’re struggling with something I also struggle with, and it’s called “being your biggest critic”, and you’re actually being unnecessarily hard on yourself.

There isn’t anything wrong with this btw, it’s quite handy when you’re on the internet, bc if it passed your unreasonably high standards, well then everyone else liking it is just sugar on top.

However this mindset does have its downsides. Mostly bc you’re disconnecting yourself from the purpose of why you would be sharing it with others to begin with. The connection humans make over art and media is too precious not to want to care what others think, but how will you ever know what they think, if you don’t show them? I know, this is quite the hot take, but it’s the truth. Yes do things for yourself first, but in all honesty are you rlly just doing it for yourself and yourself only if you’re sharing it publicly online too? I’m only saying, Michelangelo didn’t paint the cieling of the Sistine Chapel so that everyone would ignore it.

My suggestion? Post whatever every once and a while to remember you’re supposed to be doing this for fun first. Being artistic, thought provoking, engaging, trendsetting are all things that rely on you to have fun first. You gotta enjoy it, you rlly have to, bc ppl can tell when you’re not enjoying it, you can tell when you’re not enjoying it, and that’s why you’re feeling the way you do.

So post CAS pics with the UI still visible, share gameplay without Reshade on, post your sim not fully rendered or looking like a complete cryptid, and lastly learn that perfection isn’t about quality, consistency, how crisp your graphics look, or heavily edited your screenshots are.

True perfection is being able to show someone something, literally anything, it could be a fucking stick figure, and somehow it still invoke a feeling so familiar, so nostalgic, or so funny, that liking it comes easy.

Plus, 9/10 times no one is looking at the shit only you notice. So yeah, 25% 🤏.

[1-up-chump]

Mortal kombat MK 1 roster general SFW relationship HC

Liu kang

A relationship with liu kang is a sweet one, he's the type who would never be afraid to hold your hand in public. Although before an established relationship, would get annoyed with "ooo you like them" comments from others, which yeah he likes you but also "shut up they're not my bf/gf" until he gets over himself and just goes "yeah and?"

Liu kang would give meaningful gifts, something he knows you would like but also use. But obsesses a little bit over it being your "favorite color"

If you're not "kombat ready" liu kang would at least want you to know how to defend yourself bc he knows he can't always be there to protect you (but by the elder gods he will always try anyways)

Johnny cage

Mr Hollywood himself takes absolute pride and joy in your relationship, Johnny may be a funny cocky man but he is 100% loyal to a fault and will go above and beyond for you. No price is too high for his sweetheart, the financial kind or the life risking kind. And contrary to what some might think, Johnny prefers more privacy between you two bc paparazzi is a bitch and a half, but also his love is something thats for you and nothing to prove to anyone else.

Johnny gives all the "klassic" romantic gifts, flowers, chocolates, teddy bears dressed up as scorpion. The amount of cheese this man gives off when it comes to love is astounding, but Johnny is just too charming to completely say "no" to when he's trying to woo you.

Despite the glamour and dramatic cinematic esque romance, Johnny would literally die for you no questions asked "Kombat ready" or not. But if you can kick some ass he wouldn't mind being "damsel in distress" for a moment even if it might hurt his pride a little (who knows, Johnny might find it kinda hot)

Raiden

Raiden's affection for you in private vs public is like night and day, but one thing no one can deny, you make him so much happier. He's more reserved in public but he's not going to deny you a kiss to the hand or a flirty, playful wink that's so quick you might miss it. But in private he's so much more relaxed around you, expect like, a lot of kisses and cuddling. Raiden might be a little touch starved, but even then he always asks for consent even if you already agreed to it before. He's also sassy as hell (raiden absolutely has personality and a sense of humor and just bc nrs forgot doesn't mean I did too)

Raiden is more of an "acts of service" type than a gift giver. But if he does give a gift it's either practical like clothing or maybe a little treat, or something very sentimental like a protective charm, something to give you peace of mind and to remind you he's always there for you even if not physically.

Raiden is definitely making sure you can handle yourself to some degree however capable you can be. If you are very willing to be "kombat ready" be prepared for some pretty intense training, but raiden is fair and won't push you unnecessarily anymore than you can handle

Scorpion/hanzo hasashi

Baby is so fucking protective of you its no joke, has the energy of a big looming dog if someone so much as look at you the wrong way. Very circumstantial with showing affection publicly, only comfortable when it's around people he knows wouldn't lay a finger on you. In private he is the biggest sweetheart, very very touchy and cuddly, and not afraid to show just how much he loves you and how much you mean everything to him.

Hanzo isn't much for gift giving, rather doing things for you more than anything. However he gives small but very thoughtful gifts, be it your favorite treat or a beautiful piece of jewelry that you once eyed like a week ago. He sees the little things that you like and takes note to give it to you, especially if it makes you smile, your smile gives him life.

Do i even need to tell you how devoted this man is? The man literally went through all manners of literal hell for his family before, the same applies to you. Only this time he will be better to not let rage blind him, should the worst happen. But by the elder gods whoever hurt you will pay dearly

Sub-zero/Bi-han

(Listen i know thats his noob-saibot form but i couldn't find a better gif of him)

Like hanzo, very devoted and passionate but less intense about it. It's cheesy as hell but you warm his heart, he might not like being overly affectionate with you on the account someone might "attack his soft spot" but regardless he still loves you no matter what, his actions will always say otherwise even if he's being "cold"

He's traditional with the gifts, flowers, hand written notes, and on rarer occasions he might give you a frozen treat. His letters however is where he can pour his heart out comfortably, where verbal words fail him, written poetry tells you just how soft you make him

Bi-han might be distant with you, at least to outsiders. But you know better, you know he'd do anything for you when it comes down to it. Perhaps even challenge his other loyalties if it comes to it

Sonya blade

Sonya is a bit awkward with affection, she's not the touchy feely type but she does love to sneak kisses when no one is looking or paying attention. She does love and care for you but she shows it a bit differently

Acts of service all the way, sonya would rather do something for you or with you. Not really the material type at all, but not to say she wouldn't give practical gifts like clothes or an item you would use often. However sonya would give you flowers on a very special occasion, sunflowers. Roses are usually the "klassic" but she thinks sunflowers are prettier anyways

Sonya cares so much she absolutely would die and kill for you. She'd probably also make sure you're "kombat ready" too, as much as you can as she knows she won't always be there to protect you, but by fuckin elder gods she'll try anyways

Kano

Kano is a stinky bastard, the obvious being said, it's no secret you're his soft spot. And kano makes sure to dial up the "big macho man tough guy" to 11, just to make sure no one even thinks about using you against him. Which may include kano being mean to you in public on purpose to keep up certain reputations. But in private? Like a whole new man, he's rough around the edges but he genuinely tries to be considerate. Super touchy and handsy, there's no inch of you he hasn't laid his hands on and thats not even in a raunchy way, he just likes holding you.

Kano is definitely the type to get you anything you want, but mostly gives you some nice (totally stolen black market) jewelry. You can have literally anything as long as you don't ask where kano got it (bc the answer is always something illegal probably)

Kano will never give you up without a fight and by elder gods he's gonna put up a fight because no one is gonna touch you except him. And perhaps fighting because of you he has some shred of honor. Although he wouldn't mind you defending yourself at all, hell that makes his life a lot easier

Shang tsung

Shang tsung isn't afraid to show affection, however in public it feels more like a display of "look at my pretty little toy" than something closer to a legit relationship, but that's only because shang knows better than to ever let anyone know the truth that you have his heart and soul. In private he is sensual, he's intense, passionate and all consuming. Shang is very vocal about showing his love to you in private and he will always remind you that not only your soul belongs to him, but his belongs to you. A rare gift you shouldn't take lightly.

Speaking of gifts, they are the most extravagant and expensive things. But shang pays attention, he knows exactly what you want when you want before you even know what it is that you want. Basically shang tsung's gifts are flawless and he will settle for nothing less.

Shang tsung may not seem like it to others (for obvious reasons) but he would quite literally raise hell if anything bad were to happen to you to a point he'd put his own ambitions on hold if it ment you'd be safe. Which is very significant for a man like him, consider yourself the most lucky (or unlucky depending on who you ask) person in the whole universe to ever had won his heart

Reptile/syzoth

Everyone is shocked to see syzoth take a lover, but for syzoth this is very much a big deal. Therefore he protects you fiercely, the one person to show him not only the respect he deserves, but also kindness. His race never truly had this sort of show of affection, they were lizard folk so they're detached from those sorts of bonds. However this doesn't mean syzoth can't feel love, he actually loves how warm you are. And as such will cuddle you to a point you might get annoyed bc good luck trying to get this big lizard off of you.

Food is a big gift you're gonna get, it's going to be a lot of raw meat so definitely tell him what you actually can and like to eat. Syzoth tries his best to give you things he thinks you'll like, so if you don't actually tell him what you like he'll give you shiny things and flowers (that are mostly weeds)

Syzoth absolutely defends you to the death and no one is gonna keep a limb if they dare hurt you. Although you might have to watch out bc syzoth might attack anyone else around even if they weren't involved in hurting you. You'll have to calm him down

Goro

Goro is the type to pick you up and go "look at my lover they are amazing" if the shokan prince takes a lover he's gonna show them off like a prize. But make no mistake he loves you and someone's gonna have to have some balls to disrespect you in front of goro.

Goro will make sure you have everything you ever need or want, although he's not much of the spoiling type, he might just make an exception if you bat your eyes at him and "put on your charm" so to speak. Depending on his mood goro might give you something no problem, but he might be either cheeky or moody and you'll probably have to literally fight him for that so, don't even try if you know you can't beat him in a fight.

It's a bad idea to hurt goro's beloved so rest assured that goro is gonna tear the limbs clean off whoever so much as dare threatens your life. And then proceed to beat them to death with their own limbs with one pair of arms, while holding you close with the other

[devildom-moss]

January post poll

So, to start the year, I'm switching it up. This poll was originally created in a document called the depravity scale, if that gives you any hints about what to expect. Basically, I ranked all of the current smut ideas I have based on how depraved or out there I think they are.

1 - the most vanilla

10 - the most depraved on the list

I'll elaborate more under the cut after the poll since I can only provide so many details in the actual poll - that way no one has to read through the more detailed depraved summaries if they just want to vote for something relatively vanilla. (Sorry it's so Mephisto and Barbs heavy. You get it right?)

Beelzebub x MC: The unnecessarily sensual image of Beelzebub eating a mango leads to MC pouncing on him.

Diavolo x MC: Implied!caught by Barbatos while giving Diavolo a blowjob under his desk (with a little extra spice by having to be quiet while holding him in your mouth).

Simeon x MC: MC has feelings (romantic and sexual) for someone (I don’t know, probably Lucifer, Raphael, or Michael), but they don’t reciprocate. Simeon offers to be a substitute and does everything MC imagines their crush doing to them.

Barbatos x Mephisto: Barbatos keeps Mephisto “entertained” while Diavolo finishes his paperwork; light brat-taming vibes.

Barbatos x Mephisto x MC: Barbatos catches Mephisto and MC getting hot and heavy on RAD premises and decides that a punishment is in order.

Diavolo x Barbatos x MC: Diavolo and Barbatos let MC loose in the labyrinth under the castle and give them a head start before they go on the hunt to find them; primal play, interrupted solo with Barbs; double penetration; Diavolo and Barbatos have a "sharing is caring, but they’re still mine" mentality about MC.

Mephisto x MC: Mephisto’s performance pt. 2 (still messed up, but a little less sad maybe?, more religious undertones, more plot). MC gets the chance to use Mephisto like he used them - and Mephisto basically has a sex dungeon?

Barbatos x MC: Messed up Barbatos as Nightbringer AU where Barbatos gets MC to go back in time before he sterilized himself so he can breed MC and fill them with his eggs.

Solomon x MC: Solomon fixes MC’s sudden, mysterious unquenchable thirst (lust), pretty messed up, amab!MC (may write an alternate afab!MC with a magical sex swap/dick growth thing going on), magic as a form of drugging; overstimulation; Solomon being a fucker in more ways than one; dubcon because the drugging makes MC horny - may have hints of non-con.

The Demon Lord x MC / Mephisto x MC: Yes, MC fucks Diavolo's dad (while being involved with Diavolo - bonus cheating); MC gets targets by a group against Diavolo because of their relationship with Diavolo; the group uses mind control to force MC to visit the Demon Lord and ride him while in his sleeping state; Mephisto finds out too late to stop it but just in time to find MC sobbing on the ground; Mephi provides (sexual) aftercare - which involves him eating the Demon Lord’s cum out of MC. Seriously. This one is messed up on multiple levels (you've been warned).