#and you read the whole fic just WAITING for him to realize this and choose the other pack

[cinematicnomad]

i know i read fics that almost exclusively have happy endings, but man, after reading a lengthy fic that keeps promising an eventual conflict it is a bummer for everything to just fizzle out into an easy solution

[morgana-larkin]

MWAHAHAHAHHA. ALTERNATIVE ENDING TIMEEE. The vender flowers fic thing. I am here to request an alternative angst ending. Ok SO *cracks knuckles* Mel still chooses you and still goes to your place to confess. However, when u lean in to kiss her, she kisses u back. Then, smut (y’all sleep together). Then, she goes home to break up w Gary. She explains her feelings and he was so understanding and loving that she realizes she doesn’t want to let him go. So they end up staying together. Then at school u see her w Gary and you’re (patiently) like “hey what’s up have u done it yet like what’s goin on” and she tells u that she hasn’t but she will and that she can’t wait to be with you. Then y’all fuck again maybe or just make out idk, up to u, and you’re all happi and giggly BUT THEN the next day she tells u the truth. That she doesn’t wanna let him go and you’re like “ok so u just used me/lied so u could get the best of both worlds/just to sleep w me” and then idk what she says after that u can pick. And idk how to end this u can pick hahaha.

Alright, I finished it! And before anyone asks, we made a deal that if I do a lot of angst then I can have my happy ending. 😊 Although I think it’s more sad than angsty. And when you put the cracks knuckles, I burst out laughing. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it.

On another note: I notice that half of you put compliments for me in your prompts and I love reading them, you guys are so sweet! 🥹❤️ Also I spent 10 minutes picking out a gif cause I got distracted looking at Lisa…I regret nothing.

The Vendor, The Teacher and The Roses - Alt End

Warnings: where to start? A bit of toxic Mel, angst, sadness, heartbreak, fluff, smut, happy ending. I literally went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions while writing this so good luck!

Words: 7.3k

“What do you mean when you said you chose me?” You ask her.

“I mean if I went home then I would be choosing Gary, and I know I would lose you. If I came here then I would be choosing you and lose Gary.” She tells you. “And I can’t lose you.” She adds on and you look at her shocked.

“But you can lose Gary?” You ask her and she nods.

“He’s not as important as you.” She tells you and you look down at your fingers and twiddle your thumbs. Melissa takes your hand with hers and interlace your fingers and brings her other hand to your chin and gets you to look up at her. “I want to be with you.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek. She wipes the tear and cups your cheek.

“I want to be with you too.” You tell her and you lean forward to kiss her and she leans forward to kiss you back. Once your lips connect you immediately feel that this is right, where you’re supposed to be and you’re already hooked on her.

Melissa is feeling the same way and she puts her hands in your hair and moans. She pushes you back on the couch to deepen the kiss but you stop her.

“Me-Melissa.” You say and she pulls back and looks at you. “We shouldn’t do anything else, you’re still with Gary.” You tell her and leans forward to you and puts her hands in your hair again.

“I don’t care, I’ve wanted you for so long and I don’t want to wait any longer.” She says and kisses you again. She pushes you back again and this time you let her. She’s on top of you now and runs her fingers down your body and you gasp a bit and she slides her tongue in your mouth. You moan at that and she takes her shirt off and you run your hands all over the newly exposed skin. She brings her mouth to your neck and leaves kisses all over it.

“Melissa, do you want to go to the bedroom? Lot more space on the bed.” You suggest and she groans. She then slides her hand under you and pushes you closer to her and she sits up and brings you with her. She then picks you up and she stands up and carries you to the bed. She goes back on top of you and goes and sucks your neck and you gasp and buck your hips. She then unclips her bra and takes it off then takes your shirt off. Her breasts fall out of her bra and are freed from their prison and you set your eyes on them and stare. “Take your pants off.” You tell her and she pulls back from your neck and looks at you before she takes her pants and underwear off. At the same time you take your pants and underwear off. She then goes back to you and all you have on is your bra and she straddles your lap as you’re sitting against the headboard. She gets hit by a wave of desire for you and starts grinding your leg and you go and suck on a nipple. She takes the opportunity to unclip your bra and take it off then places her hands on your boobs.

You then place her between your legs and slide a finger in her entrance and she moans out. You notice she’s tight and you slide another finger in to really fill her and she falls forward into you. “Omg! Yes!” She says and you slide them in and out and quickly go faster. “Omg! That feels so good! Yes! Don’t stop! Oh fuck!” She screams out.

“You’re so tight. Been awhile?” You ask her and she nods. “Hmm, how long?” You ask.

“3…we…weeks.” She says and you smile.

“He has you and is able to go 3 weeks without sex?” You say and she whines. You figure he must have a lower than average sex drive and it must be driving her crazy as 3 weeks is too long for her. “You know, when we get together, I don’t think I’ll be able to go more than 3 days without fucking you.” You tell her and she whines again. You place a hand on her back and pull her closer to you and she moans. You place your thumb on her clit and she gasps. A few seconds later her legs start shaking and you feel her clench around your fingers. “Go on and cum.” You tell her and she comes a couple seconds later. You stop your fingers but she starts riding them and places her thumb between her legs to rub her clit and she must still need more and you smile. “Oh you’re very horny.” You say and she moans. You move your fingers in her again and she gasps. You move her fingers out of the way and place your thumb back on her clit and rub it. She places her hands on your back and has her body pushed right up against you. Her legs start shaking again and she comes seconds later. This time it’s you that doesn’t stop and she cries out as she feels another orgasm building and she’s sensitive. The next one hits not even 30 seconds later and she screams out as she comes. You pull out of her gently and she’s holding on to you tightly and you don’t move as her heart rate slows down. She then slides off of you and down your body and is on her stomach and connects her mouth to your clit.

“I love how you taste.” She tells you and goes right back to licking your clit.

“Ooohhh Mel…omg your tongue feels so good!” You say between gasps. She then slides two fingers in your entrance and you scream out. It doesn’t take long until you come with her name in your mouth. She pulls out of you and comes to lay down beside you.

You cuddle each other for a few minutes until you stop shaking and you’re breathing normally. You then go and get a cloth and you both clean yourself up. Melissa then gets dressed and she gives you another kiss before she leaves to go home to end things with Gary.

When she gets home, she takes a deep breath before getting out of the car and going inside. She sees Gary sitting on the couch and watching tv and he’s looking at her with a smile.

“Hey, you’re home. Where’d you go?” He says without any judgement, just curiosity.

“I went to see y/n.” She said to him and he nods, knowing you two are good friends.

“How is she?” He asks and she walks towards him.

“Good. We need to talk though.” She says and sits on the couch next to him. He turns off the tv and turns to her and gives her his full attention.

Melissa then explains everything, leaving out the part that you two had sex. She tells him about the friendship you two formed and when her feelings for you started. Then she admits that she found out you feel the same and that’s why she went to see you.

“And I feel bad about it cause you’re really good to me and I never wanted to hurt you.” She finishes and Gary looks at her with understanding. He then explains how he knew something was going on with the way you both look at each other. Then explains that he’s always wanted what’s best for her and to support her. Melissa looks at him shocked. She expected for him to be angry, not supportive of what she wants and she’s overwhelmed with it. She realises she doesn’t want to let him go but also doesn’t want to let you go, she doesn’t know what to do.

The next day Melissa and Gary arrive in the break room in the morning and you frown. You thought she was talking to him last night but then thought that maybe she didn’t want to do it on Valentine’s Day.

It did hurt a bit when you also see them at lunch, being all happy but didn’t mention anything. Melissa noticed your reaction all day and she feels guilty, knowing she’ll have to make a decision. At the end of the day you go to see her in her classroom.

“Hey Melissa.” You say to her and she spins around to look at you with a smile.

“Hey y/n.”

“So what’s up?”

“I’m happy that it’s Friday.” She answers and you close her door.

“Ya so am I. I was wondering if you’ve done it yet or are you going to, you know, break up with Gary.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“Ya, I didn’t want to do it yesterday being as it was Valentine’s Day and a Thursday but I’ll do it. I honestly can’t wait to be with you.” She says and you go and kiss her. She kisses you back and it turns into a heated make out session. You end up getting pushed to her desk and you go and sit on top of it, continuing to make out with her. You then pull back after making out for a few minutes. “I just love kissing you already.” She says and you smile at her.

“I love kissing you too. And I can’t wait until I can kiss you whenever.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

“I’ll let you know when I break up with him.” She says and boops your nose and you giggle.

“Alright, but don’t make me wait long.” You tell her and she gives you another kiss and then you both leave.

You go home and sit on your couch and watch tv for the rest of the day, waiting to see when she’ll text you that she broke up with him. You don’t get a text that evening.

The next day she comes to your place in the morning and you open up the door and smile widely when you see her.

“Morning Melissa, so does this mean it’s done?” You ask her and she looks down at the floor.

“We got to talk.” She says and your smile drops and you tilt your head.

“Um…ok.” You say and let her in.

You both sit on your couch and she takes a few deep breaths before speaking.

“I spoke to Gary on Thursday night after coming back from your place. I told him everything, well except for us having sex. And he was so understanding and supportive and I couldn’t let him go. And now I don’t want to let him go at all but I also don’t want to let you go.” She admits and you look at her. You’re processing everything that she just told you and you sigh.

“So let me see if I got this right. So you lied to me and used me to just get the best of both? For him to meet your emotional needs and sleep with me to meet your sexual needs?” You ask and she nods.

“I’m sorry, I never want to hurt either of you.” She says and you suck in a breath.

“You can’t have both of us Melissa, it’s one or the other.” You tell her and she looks defeated.

“I don’t know who to choose.” She admits and your anger comes out.

“If you can’t choose then that means that you just don’t want to tell me that it’s him you’re choosing.” You say sternly and she goes to answer but you don’t want to hear anymore. “Get out.” You grit through your teeth and she looks taken back by your words. “I said get out!” You yell and point to the door. Melissa is on the verge of tears so she does as you say and leaves.

You immediately block her number and text Ava asking if she has plans tonight. She texts you back and tells you what club she’s going to and if you wanted to tag along. You immediately accept and you go to the bar with her and a couple friends of hers and you get drunk. You dance most of the night and get hit on by men and women. You kiss a couple women and by the end of the night Ava gets you a ride home.

You spend Sunday morning trying to not die and get rid of your major hangover that doesn’t leave until the afternoon. Then you spend the rest of the day doing chores, grading and making a couple changes to your lesson plan.

On Monday morning Melissa tries to talk to you but you shut her down and avoid her. You end up avoiding her all day, which is followed by all week and followed by all month.

At the start, Melissa tries to talk to you every chance she gets and found out quickly that you blocked her. As the days go on with you doing everything to avoid her, her hope and determination of talking to you and trying to make it up to you, goes down. You see she eventually gets the hint and stops trying to talk to you. You see she still glances at you throughout the day but those become fewer and fewer as the days pass. Glances you can handle though, as long as she doesn’t try and talk to you then you can deal with her looking at you.

Eventually she stops looking at you at all and you two are basically just co workers who don’t interact. You start to make friends with other teachers that aren’t friends with Melissa or anyone that is friends with Melissa’s friends. Everyone notices the growing distance between you both and Barb is the first to mention something.

“What’s going on with you and y/n?” Barb asks, about 2 weeks after you started avoiding her.

“Nothing, nothing is going on.” Melissa says with a bit of anger. No one mentions it again but feels bad that Melissa is taking it hard, while you seemed to have moved on easily. Ava did mention that you went out to a club with her and her friends and kissed a couple girls, to which Melissa was shocked and got upset at that.

You want everyone to see that what happened between you and Melissa didn’t heavily affect you but in reality, it crushed you.

About 3 months later, you’re having a rather rough night after a bad date so in a split second decision, you unblock her number. All the texts that she sent you in those 3 months pop up and you’re shocked at the amount of texts there were, probably about 200.

Melissa knew you blocked her number but still chose to text you anyway, it made her feel better and no one tried to stop her.

You read all the messages and you feel like you went on a rollercoaster of emotions. She starts with saying how sorry she is about what happened and that she broke up with Gary a week after. Then she goes on saying that she misses you, she misses having you around her, even just as a friend. She says that she wants to have you back and will do anything to make it up to you.

You start to feel sympathy for her as you read them and then remember what she did and how it made you feel and then go back to angry at her and continue reading.

The texts start to get a bit angry as she’s upset about what happened and obviously going through the 5 stages of grief. She goes on saying a bunch of English and Italian curse words, some directed at you and some about the situation. She then goes and apologises for everything she said, even if you never see the texts she’ll know what she said and would feel bad about it. It takes you a good 2 hours to get through all of them. Her last text being the one that hits the hardest.

Melissa: I know you haven’t seen any of these and might never. But wanted to apologise for everything that happened. For not noticing the signs, not having the courage to admit my feelings, and then putting you through hell and having sex with you. I never wanted to use you, it was never my intention. And I’m sorry about the fact that it took losing you to figure out what I want. I guess it’s true what they say, you never know your lover until you let her go. I spent almost 3 months sending you texts, I don’t even know why, but it made me feel better in a way. But now it’s time to fully let go of everything. I wish you the best luck and life you could have and I’m sorry that I messed it up and won’t get to see you thrive and live your best life. Love, Melissa

You cried so much that night and you think about everything that happened and everything she told you and all the texts she sent you. Melissa on the other hand didn’t notice that all her texts went through to you, even the one she sent a week ago. The one she knew she had to send to finally let you go and move on herself.

A week goes by as if you didn’t read all her texts. You’re debating whether you should talk to her or not and think that you should protect yourself and your heart from her. But on the other hand you think about her texts and how hurt she sounded. You see her throughout the day and see that she’s now mostly healed from what happened and you shouldn’t put each other through that again. You come to the decision that you two will never talk and be in each other's lives again.

That day happens to be the same one that you’re too in your head and don’t see a car coming straight for you. All the teachers are heading out to their cars across the street, as they’re fixing the parking lot. You’re crossing the street and it seems you parked right behind Melissa so you two are heading in the same direction. You start crossing the street as she’s saying goodbye to Barb and about to cross as well. Melissa sees a car coming and you don’t notice as you’re crossing, she immediately starts running towards you, and pushes you out of the way right before the car hits you.

Melissa gets hit by the car instead and goes flying into the windshield. Luckily the driver was slowing down as he noticed you walking out onto the street, he still did damage to Melissa but fortunately didn’t kill her. The driver was able to fully stop and got out to go check on her, as well as Barb who saw the whole thing. You hit the pavement and turned around to see Melissa hitting the windshield and rolling off the car. You run towards her as well, overwhelmed with what just happened. You all go towards her and the driver calls for an ambulance.

“Melissa!” You say as you reach her and she’s unconscious as she hit her head on the windshield.

“Oh my Lord!” Barb says as she reaches you both. You both stay by her until the ambulance arrives.

Janine, Jacob, Gregory, Ava and Mr Johnson end up seeing the commotion before the ambulance arrive and go towards it to see what happened. As they get closer they realise Melissa got hit by the car and they start running.

“Omg what happened?” Janine says and sees you with Melissa’s head in your lap and Barb trying to comfort you.

“All my fault!” You exclaimed through tears.

“No it’s not dear. You forgot to check for cars and didn’t notice the car coming, it happens. But it was Melissa’s decision to push you out of the way and got hit by the car instead of you.” Barb says and Janine and Jacob gasp. Ava puts a hand over her mouth in shock, Gregory and Mr Johnson are too stunned to do anything. They all stay with you until the ambulance arrives.

The ambulance gets there 4 minutes after the call was made and they check her over quickly and say she has to go to the hospital for further examination and treatment. They gently and quickly put her on the stretcher and into the ambulance, and then drive to the hospital.

They all stay next to you as they all watch the ambulance drive Melissa to the hospital. You’re still blaming yourself for what happened and even wish that she didn’t push you out of the way. She shouldn’t pay the consequences for your mistake.

You look defeated and walk towards your car and Barb speaks up. “Dear, do you want to get a ride with me and Gerald to the hospital?” She asks you and you turn around.

“Why would I go to the hospital?” You ask her.

“To go see Melissa.” She says with a gentle tone.

“I’m not going to see her. This is all my fault. I mean why did she even push me out of the way? She should have let me get hit by that car!” You say and everyone but Barb leaves so you and Barb can have privacy.

“Sweetheart, it was Melissa’s decision. And she pushed you out of the way because even though whatever happened between you two happened, she still cares about you and would rather save you then watch you get hurt.” She explains softly.

“We haven’t talked in 3 months because I cut her out of my life! How can she still care about me?” You ask with tears in your eyes.

“Melissa feels deeply for people in her life. Once you find yourself in her life then she has hard time letting go, I saw her struggle with trying to let you go. She never said what happened, all she told me was that she screwed up with you.” Barb tells you and you’re crying at this point but you stay away from her when she tries to comfort you.

“I’m not going to the hospital, it’s my fault she got hurt and I don’t want to hurt her more. I do hope she makes a full recovery quickly though.” You tell her and Barb knows you’re not going to change your mind and lets you go. You go to your car and drive home.

She gets Gerald to drive to the hospital to go see Melissa, as well as the trio. They’re surprised when you don’t show up and Barb tells them that you blame yourself. Melissa does end up waking up a few hours later after the doctors treated her injuries. Janine was the first to notice and makes her way to her side beside Barb as Gregory goes to get a Doctor saying she’s awake.

The doctor asks her a few questions and checks her over again and says that she’s healing properly and should be good to go home in a few days. They did mention she’ll need crutches as she got hit in the leg and they put a cast on her left leg. Once the doctor leaves, the trio stays for about half an hour before heading home. As soon as they leave, that's when Melissa asks Barb about you.

“I’m sorry, I tried to get her to come but she was very against it, saying she doesn’t want to hurt you again, and blaming herself for what happened.” Barb tells her and Melissa groans and puts her head back on the pillow. “If it’s any consolation, she was surprised that you pushed her out of the way. She thought you didn’t care about her anymore.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her.

“On Valentine’s Day she was going to see me with flowers and a card to confess her feelings for me. She saw how Gary and I declared our feelings and threw out the flowers and the card in the garbage. I guess she must have kicked it in anger cause the bin was knocked over and I saw the flowers and the card. I went over to her place right after and we both confessed our feelings.” Melissa is finally telling Barb what happened. “But then I screwed up. We didn’t hold back and we…we had sex. Then I promised her to go and break up with Gary. I went to do that, like I talked to him about it all but the way he was supportive and understanding made me not want to let him go since it’s been so long since I had a partner like that.” Melissa says and Barb nods in understanding. “She came and talked to me the next day and I promised again to break up with him. But then on Saturday I went over to her house and told her the truth and I said I couldn’t choose between them. She got angry and told me to get out.” Melissa finishes. “That’s what happened.”

“Melissa, you made a mistake, I mean my god. You and y/n are both putting blame on yourselves for making a mistake because you’re human.” Barb says. “It’s not your fault that Gary’s support and understanding made you feel good and left you confused because Joe kept hurting you. And it’s not y/n’s fault that she got distracted and didn’t notice the car coming at her and the fact that you pushed her out of the way and got hit instead.” Barb says and Melissa sniffles. “She got so mad at herself that she wished you just let her get hit.” Barb tells her and Melissa looks at her in shock. “I know you wouldn’t have let that happen and I told her that. But something tells me that there’s more to y/n’s side than she was letting on.” Barb tells her and Melissa goes to her phone to go to your texts to see pictures you sent her. And that’s when her face pales instantly. “What?” Barb asks when she sees Melissa’s face.

“They sent. All the texts that I sent her got delivered. That means she unblocked my number and she must have read them or at least a few of them. Probably not all since I sent a lot.” Melissa says and rambles a bit.

“Do you know when she unblocked your number.” Barb asks.

“It says it was delivered…last week.” Melissa says the last 2 words quietly.

“You know I did notice that she was distracted this week and that she looked at you a few times.” Barb says, knowing that you acted differently this week but didn’t say anything. When you cut Melissa out, you also cut out her, the trio, Ava and Mr Johnson, pretty much everyone in Melissa’s life from school.

A week goes by and Melissa returns back after that. The cast has to stay on her leg for a month and then a brace after for another month. She’s using crutches that she learned to use in the hospital during her stay there.

You secretly spy on her for a week when she returns and you see her get frustrated a few times about her limitations. You stay away though, thinking it’s the best course of action. You even hand Ava your notice, saying after the school year ends in a month, you’re not coming back. Ava accepts the notice but never approves you leaving, she said she’ll put it through on the last day.

On the second week that Melissa returns, she moves one of the crutches wrong, causing her to slip and fall. You happened to be right behind her and you caught her. It took both of you a second to figure out what happened and you lock eyes when you help her back up.

“Thank you.” She tells you and you look down at the ground before looking back up.

“I should be thanking you, this would have been me if you didn’t push me.” You say and she stares at you. This is the first time you guys talk to each other in over 3 months. “Melissa, why did you push me? Why didn’t you just let me get hit?” You ask, the guilt eating away at you.

“Why would I let you get hit? I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt, especially if I could prevent it.” She says. “I’ll take having to walk around in a cast and with crutches, and cursing when I can’t do something the same way for a bit, if it means that you don’t have too.” She tells you genuinely and you’re speechless.

“How have you been getting to school and back?” You suddenly ask and she tilts her head at you, confused.

“Barb and Gerald have been driving me. They let me sit in the passenger seat to have room for my leg, and they help me in and out of the car.” She explains.

“Can I drive you home tonight?” You blurt out and it takes both of you by surprise. “To give them a break and as a thank you for saving me.” You tell her and she smiles.

“You don’t have to thank me.” She tells you.

“I do actually. I don't know many people who would save someone from getting hit by a car and let themselves get hit instead.” You tell her and she looks down and blushes.

“If you really want, then sure. I’m sure Gerald and Barb would like the break.” She says and you nod.

“Ok, I’ll come to your classroom after school then.” You say and she nods and you walk to your classroom. Melissa watches you walk away and she sighs contentedly. Maybe she can make it up to you after all.

Ava saw the interaction and passes by Melissa. “You might want to interact with her while you still can.” Ava tells her and Melissa looks at her confused.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asks.

“It means that she gave her notice a couple days ago. After the year is done then she’s not coming back.” Ava tells Melissa, and if she didn’t have crutches then she would have fallen right there.

“She’s leaving?” Melissa mutters but Ava hears her and nods.

“Like I said, interact with her while you still can. There’s 3 weeks until school is done.” Ava says and walks away.

Melissa feels like the weight that once crushed her 3 months ago came back. You were leaving Abbott in 3 weeks and she didn’t know why. She thought you loved it here.

At the end of the day, she’s sitting at her desk when you come and knock on her door that’s open, signalling your presence.

“Ready to go?” You ask and she looks at you. You were probably never going to tell her that you’re leaving, this favour you’re doing is the only thing that you’ll probably do as a thank you before leaving. You were probably just going to finish up the last 3 weeks, and not mention to anyone that you’re leaving. And just leave them to figure it out when they don’t see you again. A bit of anger courses through her at that.

“Why are you leaving?” She asks you and you look at her stunned. You told Ava to not tell anyone, you just want to leave quietly.

“Ava couldn’t keep her mouth shut I see.” You say and her face gets more stern. “I’ll tell you in the car.” You say and she takes that compromise. You help her up and then walk beside her all the way to your car. You take her crutches and help her stay up as she gets in the car and then put the crutches in the back seat.

You get in and start the car and start the way to her house. You see her looking at you and you sigh and take a breathe before answering her question.

“I’m leaving because I have too ok.” You start and she looks confused. “I don’t belong here anymore. I made a couple friends with teachers but nothing too serious. I feel lonely here and all the students and teachers know that you got hit because you saved me. Do you know how many weird looks I get from people daily? I lose count. And I feel guilty everytime I see you or when I hear your crutches. You’re the only one who made me feel welcomed when I got here, and then I cut you and everyone you know at Abbott out of my life. So now I have no one. I figured it was best to leave and just start fresh.” You tell her.

“And you weren’t going to tell anyone?” She asks.

“There’s no one to tell.” You tell her casually and with a shrug. That got to her, the way you said, like you accepted it.

“You told Ava not to tell anyone.” She says.

“That’s because I didn’t want anyone asking why I’m leaving.” You say and glance at her.

“How many of my texts did you read?” She blurts out and she sees you tense. “I saw they got delivered to you, a week before the accident.” She tells you and you sigh.

“I came home after a bad date and I felt vulnerable so I unblocked your number.” You tell her and she gets surprised by you having a date, that means you’re dating again. Melissa decided to break up with Gary and swore off dating forever, not wanting the drama and pain it causes. “I read all of them.” You admit and her eyes go wide. She thought you would never see a single one and it was her way of therapy for losing you.

“I thought you would never see them.” She says and looks down.

“Well whatever the reason you sent so many must have helped as you moved on.” You tell her and snaps her head up at you. “You said so in the last text and you seemed lighter, the week before the accident.” You say. “It’s part of the reason why I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” You admit.

“What are the other reasons?” She can’t help but ask.

“The fact that I cut you out of my life and you eventually stopped trying to talk to me. I thought you’re the queen of cutting people out and not having any emotional attachment to people that you cut out. Also, I thought you’d be happy with Gary and forget about me.” You tell her and that stung her.

“I broke up with me and I swore off dating.” She tells you and you let out an airy laugh.

“Ya right. Melissa, I know you, you want to be loved, you want to spend your days with someone. For them to give you physical affection and you love cooking for people that you love and want to show that you care.” You tell her.

“You’re right, I want to spend my days with the right person. But that person cut me out of her life because I fucked it up.” She tells you and you’re glad there’s a red light or else you might have made a mistake while driving. “So yes, I gave up because I didn’t see a point.” She tells you and you turn into her neighbourhood. You’re silent for the minute it takes until you pull up in her driveway and then you turn to look at her.

“Why didn’t you choose me then?” You ask her. “I gave you a choice. You told me on Valentine’s Day that you chose me then 2 days later you said you're not choosing me anymore.” You obviously still have anger about what happened.

“I went home and did start to talk to Gary to break up with him. But I never got so much support and understanding that I got from him from anyone else, including Joe. It felt nice and I got confused. I broke up with him a week later but by then it was too late, I already lost you.” She says and a tear rolls down her cheek from remembering how it felt to lose you. “Y/n, it took me 3 months to not always feel the pain of losing you. All I wanted was to talk to you, for you to have me back in any way that you were comfortable with, because I just wanted you in my life. I looked lighter like I moved on but I didn’t, it seemed like that because I was adjusting to life without you, I was finally forcing myself to accept that you weren’t going to be in my life again.” She tells you and looks you in the eyes. “Then I saw that car coming right for you and you didn’t notice. So before I even thought about it, I was running towards you and pushed you to safety, knowing it was you or me that was going to get hit. And I chose for me to get hit, because I care about you. And honestly, if I knew everything that was going to happen, I would have still done it.” She tells you and a tear rolls down your cheek.

She goes to wipe it away but you beat her to it. You turn away from her and wipe your eyes. “Come on, I’ll help you get to your house then I’ll leave you be.” You tell her and she grabs your arm and you look at her.

“You have never been in my way. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I regret not breaking up with Gary when I should have, I regret not choosing you when you gave me the option. There’s so many things I regret and they all centre around you. I regret all the things that made me lose you.” She tells you sternly, making you understand the importance of what she’s saying. You look at her and see how vulnerable she’s being and you’re stunned, she’s never this vulnerable to anyone. Without thinking, you lean in and kiss her. Melissa is stunned for a second then kisses you back. She missed you and even though she only had a few kisses with you, she still remembered what it was like and missed being intimate with you. You pull back a few seconds later with fear in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” She asks you as soon as she sees your eyes.

“I don’t know what came over me. I mean we’re both trying to move on and then I go and do that.” You say and she laughs. You look at her and furrow your eyebrows, confused as hell.

“Oh y/n, I gave you a whole love confession and you think I could ever move on from you?” She asks and your brain goes blank. “You’re adorable. You’re so smart but so clueless. I love you y/n, I always will. No matter what happens, my heart will belong to you.” She tells you and she cups your cheek. “Whether you forgive me or not, whether we’re ever together or never together, if you cut me out of your life forever or let me back in. Even if you break my heart or decide to spend your life with someone else and I have to watch. I will always love you. These past 3 months, I’ve been loving you from a distance. Every day it broke my heart but I never stopped loving you.” She tells you.

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve watched so many romance movies and read so many romance novels, been to multiple weddings and never heard anything as sweet as that.” You tell her and she gives you a watery smile. She goes to pull her hand back when you don’t react further but you grab it and place it back on your cheek and lean into her touch. You undo your seatbelt and lunge forward and kiss her.

“Woah!” She says as it takes her by surprise. Your lips land on hers and she immediately kisses you back. You pull back after a few seconds and look at her.

“I love you too.” You simply say and she smiles. “I’m not even going to attempt a speech because it will never come close to yours.” You tell her and she giggles.

“I don’t need one. I know how you feel about me. I see it in your eyes and feel it in your kisses.” She tells you.

“You should seriously stop talking, because you’re saying all the sweetest things.” You say and she gives you a kiss.

“As much as I would love to stay in this car with you, my butt is going numb.” She tells you and you get out of the car, grab her crutches and open her door. She uses you to push herself up and balances herself with the crutches. You help her into her house and onto her couch. You feel out of place here and you don’t really know what else to do so you say goodbye.

“Well if you don’t need anything else then I’ll just go.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you.

“You don’t want to stay?” She asks.

“Well do you need help with anything else?” You ask.

“You don’t have to help me with something as a reason to stay.” She tells you and sees the conflict in your eyes. “Well it would help if you stayed. Keep me company cause I’ve been really bored. Sitting here most of the evening with nothing to do. I can’t even cook a lot because that requires two hands and perfect timing. And I wouldn’t mind some cuddles. You were right about that too, I crave physical affection from a partner.” She tells you and you make your way over and sit beside her on the couch. You don’t miss the way she beams when you decide not to leave.

“I knew you were a big softie.” You tease and she glares at you.

“If you tell anyone-”

“You’ll what?” You counter and raise your eyebrows, questioning her threat.

“Well I wouldn’t do anything to you but I’ll have to kill them.” She says and you laugh, knowing her threat is empty.

“I do forgive you btw, for what happened. Do you forgive me for what happened to you?” You ask her and she’s confused.

“Y/n, there was nothing to forgive, you didn’t do anything.”

“If I paid attention then it wouldn’t have forced you to save me.” You tell her.

“Y/n, like I said there’s nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then I forgive you.” She tells you and you hug her. You have your arms wrapped around her neck and body pressed to hers. She puts her hands on your back cautiously then hugs you back. Feeling this is more intimate than any kiss she had with her exes. It’s a hug full of love, of promise to not letting each other go again. And you both keep that promise till death do you part.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

Let me know if you want to be added!

[queenofallimagines]

Satan if you were a satanist before you arrived in the devildom

A/n: listennnn in between getting dragged by the Lucifer chat bots, writing two really long fics and having brain worms about this Au I’ve had so many thoughts and Satan has landed in my radar☺️ asmo and Simon are NEXT bc guardian angels are a whole DIFFERENT can of worms

I’m gunna use like ACTUAL satanic lore mixed in w the game lore

Satan:

- okay so boom

- Right off the bat he can tell you are different

- Sitting back waiting to see how you react to everyone

- Takes note you’re much more respectful to him than the rest

- Thought you were walking on eggshells because you were terrified of him but you ain’t scared at all

- You see through all his pranks

- “He’ll probably see that coming a mile away. Try moving it over here Lucifer don’t check there.”

- Color him impressed

- Does see you don’t really freak out like his brothers when he goes into one of his little rage fits

- When he offered to make the pact with you to piss Lucifer off you were really caught at a pass

- Like for one you technically already have a soft pact with him being a devotee

- But also you don’t want to disrespect him by saying no

- Choosing to not get on Lucifer’s bad side because you still do have a mission to do in that attic, soyou politely decline

- “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make a pact with you that isn’t built on a mutual trust and understanding”

- He’s always told you to sniff out a trap and you were NOT falling for it

- Blinded by rage for not getting his way, that’s when he lashes out

- He feels something weird in his chest when he looks at you in that moment but he can’t quite understand it. Like a tugging feeling at the back of his head trying to tell him something

- When you get caught I. The middle of the whole “they’re the same person thing” you just roll your eyes

- “No shit they’re not the same person🙄😒 Satan and Lucifer couldn’t be more different, Lucifer is the morning star and Satan is more tricker than anything :/ crazy how yall don’t do research”

- Ngl he almost fell for you right then and there

- He cannot STAND that especially when humans call anything and everything Satan and refer to him and Lucifer like they’re the same person.

- Looks at you with star eyes for a second before sticking to you like glue. He’s very fascinated with you and wants to study you under a microscope

- Ask you if you’re like Solomon and have been studying for years

- Did you manage to get your hands on some devildom textbook somehow?

- Maybe even some texts form the celestial realm

- “Not really but that would be super cool to read.”

- He himself hates misinformation so you be correcting all the demon brothers with the quickness

- Lucifer is very annoyed and Satan is elated

- Notices you looking at him a lot, like you’re analyzing him

- Ofc he’s blunt and isn’t gunna beat around the bush he asks you what you’re doing starring at him like that

- “It’s really nice to see what you actually look like… if you’re shape shifting all the time and this is the form you stay in full time it’s… nice to see you face to face”

- Confused for a second because he doesn’t often make trips directly to the human world even for a summoning

- “Well I mean, in the human world we don’t actually know what you look like. The only book that has a description of what you looked like and are has the pages mysteriously ripped out and have never been found. I assume that was your doing?”

- Shocked pikachu bc he fr forgot he did that in his younger years

- His mischievous tendencies have been delegated directly to Lucifer, he understands the value of books now

- “Ah,,, I do recall doing that. It would make sense why you’re starring at me so hard.”

- Blushes when you call him a pretty boy

- Like he’s in his room kicking his feet giggling

- You bring him his offerings directly

- He won’t even realize you’re doing deity work with him and is just excited to spend time with you

- Whenever you come back home from class or whatever you give him little things you got in your way back or snacks he likes

- Nobody has ever seen satan smile this much

- Lucifer peeps when it’s your turn to cook dinner you just so happen to favor foods Satan likes and uses ingredients he does to cook too

- Will be very suspicious of you mirroring his behavior

- Satan is none the wiser truly he’s assure at familiar feeling is like some star crossed lovers stuff and you were meant to meet by fates hands

- Has so many cute cat themed things in his room from you

- Lucifer is not liking how you seem to be trying to gain his trust for your own reasons but he can’t sense anything malicious.

- He can’t pinpoint any alternate motive for this behavior

- Satan will not notice until someone points it out to him

- Lucy straight up asks you why you’re getting so friendly with him

- Mammon also chimes in that you seem like you’re sucking up to him, and Satan feels conflicted be he doesn’t like how they’re accusing you but also the fact that you might be just being nice to him because you want something is setting his nerves on fire

- Rolling your eyes you shoot back at Lucifer that you’re just worshiping Satan like you usually do

- The old man is takes aback and Satan is like…. I beg your pardon?😀

- “Satan has been my patron for years now, the only thing that’s different is that I can give him my offerings and ask him for help directly”

- Mammon is chewing the carpet he’s supposed to be your first man!

- Satan is flabbergasted and is searching his memory for this information

- Before he remembers

- “How did I not notice??”

- “I thought you knew??”

- “NO???”

- Dinner is wild bc now asmo asking for embarrassing memories of you

- Rip bc Satan gon tell it ALL😭

- I feel like he’d be the type to keep a log so he might not remember every single face and name because he does fuck with some people who summon him

- Grabs your notebook from his room and starts reciting shit BAR FOR BAR

- “Oh yeah i remember this! You were quite a rowdy child picking fights with everyone. Your temper was awful”

- “YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING SAY THAY TO ME!!”

- laughing because he’s taking a stroll down memory lane and he’s dragging you along

- Can feel your anger a mile away, he’s in your ear now more than EVER going “don’t you want to go apeshit?”

- Constantly encouraging you to loose your temper on Lucifer

- He feeds off your rage and it feels almost euphoric to him, because he’s an instigator if anything😭

- “Where the fuck is your rage?? Lucifer was definitely disrespecting you👀👀”

- Exhausting

- Lucifer will get on him about having you up for hours on end reading and studying when you need to sleep

- You will NOT fail any class not on his fucking watch! He’s gunna make sure you excel in this exchange program academically

- Even if he’s not who you ask for things he’s helping you

- “Do NOT as belphie for help with dream interpretation I’ll help you!!”

- Very proud to show you off

- “Y’all see MY human?”

- Mammon is trying not to start problems on purpose

- He will probably bend you over Lucifer’s desk bestie it’s inevitable

- If you’re intimate before he knows he’s really gentle and makes sure to take his time with you

- If it’s after he will be rough and mean

- He definitely cares about you and loves you but he will pretend he’s using you as a toy

- As if he’s your god and you’re nothing but a lowly mortal designed to be used and filled up by him

- Choking you out and breeding you for hours on end

- Will be so incredibly gentle with aftercare it’s almost like he’s a different person

- “Look at you drooling and can’t even keep your eyes focused. Pathetic. You’re too stupid to think of anything other than how I’m ruining you”

- Makes you struggle to walk every time

- Gets carried away and marks you everywhere like diavolo asking you why there’s a hickey on your ankle😭

- Almost buys you a collar if Lucifer didn’t stop him

- Wants you to know you belong to him and you’re his little follower

- Tells you how good you are for him and gives you a nice reward

- “You’re so good for me, so eager to please and make me happy. My human deserves a reward hm?”

- Cocky asf for no reason PLEASE humble his ass!!

- Gets off on it when you pin him down and call him pathetic

- “The great avatar of wrath Satan himself bouncing on my lap like a whore desperate to get off.”

- He’s literally turning to mush for you

- Whimpering and looking at you with teary eyes

- “P-please I need to cum I’ll do anything”

- Bites back a moan when you coo at him that he’s so pathetic needing a mortal to get off

- He can feel how mean you are and your anger through your pact and it’s making his body buzz with excitement

- Panting and wiggling his hips he’s begging you to fill him up

- Call him a good kitty and he probably won’t be able to last

- Likes when you punish him like best his ass fr leave bruises make his ass bright red!!

- He’s really just attached to you and will cause a big issue when you have to leave the devildom at the end of the year😅

[fastcardotmp3]

🌻august bookshelf🌻

july recs | recs tag

I really enjoyed putting together a little fic rec list at the end of last month and decided to do it again!

🌻driving in your car by @kkpwnall - when I say the ultimate pining Steddie fic I MEAN IT. the use of the car as this sort of central, grounding force within Steve's world and the way the testing of his tether to Hawkins and the people in it plays out here is stunning, not to mention the HANDS and the ronance going on stage left and the complete and utter tenderness lying just beneath the surface. perfection I am swallowing it whole

🌻clueless by @gothbat99 - such a lovely short & sweet slice of life in the summer after they win the war, it feels SO important in its simplicity that Nancy and Robin are getting to behave like young people, all free and hopeful and discovering how to want/ be wanted. made my heart so big and warm in only 1k words like THAT !!! is so impressive, so worth your time, will make your day better guaranteed

🌻Faces Freedom with a Little Fear by @fragilecapric0rnn - literally Steve family-centric character study of all time, come swoon over big sister JJ Harrington and watch as her presence in his life creates a fullness and richness of growth and self-realization LIKE. I could bask in this world for the rest of forever and never get tired of its sincerity and depth and siblingisms, what a heart-squeezing delight from start to finish

🌻haunted hawkins by @hellsfireclub - starts with the brilliant premise of "what if it's not just Hawkins?" and RUNS with it, giving not just beautiful ruminations on both Nancy and Robin as they start a journey towards figuring out just how far the paranormal spreads and also a journey towards mutual self discovery and (: lesbianism (: READ THIS FIC.

🌻then I see you, you're walking 'cross the campus by stellarpoint (@heybluechild) - a lovely little peek at Steve and Nancy's friendship coming back together after they've come into their own a little bit and Nancy being so, so brave in coming out to him. truly this made my heart so big and full and warm i am carrying them gently in the palms of my hands

🌻this must be the place by @judasofsuburbia - JARGYLE CAMPING. the tenderness of this, the peace offered to Jonathan when he hasn't ever really known such a thing, the way they just sort of slot together and find and choose and become each other?? it's got me all soft in the heart and THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. illegal actually. I'm weak in the knees :((

🌻Young, Scrappy, & Hungry by @fragilecapric0rnn - politics ronance rivals to lovers WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?? perfect dynamics already and I can't wait to see where these girls go. the characterizations of them is so REAL despite the very different world of Washington they've been dropped into and my lesbian, TWW-loving ass is feeling soooo normal about them SO normal don't worry about it

🌻The Warmth Pulls by TheDeathsWish - I'm not fully caught up on this one yet, but it is genuinely one of the most unique AUs I've come across so I have to mention it here. It's still 1986 and it's still Hawkins, but the sci-fi overlay is switched out for more purely fantasy elements, including some very cool and beautifully revealed eccentricities and abilities of the characters. Steddie but also so hugely dependent on the ensemble of it all, which you know I eat up, I'm excited to keep working my way through this one!

P.S. if you read and enjoy any of these, please remember to tip your writers in kudos and comments!💛

[natimiles]

Just let me adore you (Arthur)

Summary: You loved Mozart, and Mozart loved you. Arthur would just have to deal with it and not bother you again. But it’s easier said than done when you’re left alone on your own birthday.

Words: 1372

Tags: angst; unrequited love; hurt; no comfort; Arthur centric; Mozart is a bit of an asshole (sorry); no pronouns specified for reader.

Notes: I was re-reading some random parts from Living no Matsunaga-san and decided to write something for Ikevamp based on a scene there. I just realized Ryou and Levi kinda look alike. He is so precious; I loved him way more than Matsunaga.

I also listened to “Adore You” by Harry Styles, and now I see the lyrics from a whole different perspective. And the title for the fic comes from the song.

It wasn’t fair.

You deserved so much better. You deserved to be treated like royalty, to be loved, to be taken care of. He had to ensure you were always smiling, always happy, never crying.

However, that’s not what happened.

Arthur could barely restrain himself seeing the tears streaming down your face. How many times has it been now? How many more are you gonna endure? He only made you cry. Mozart only made you cry.

The writer can’t remember when or why he fell for you; he only recalls losing his chance. He remembers talking to Theo, who encouraged him to take action quickly. With half of the mansion having developed feelings for you, he knew it was only a matter of time before someone else confessed.

He was gonna buy you flowers and a nice gift, confess, ask you out properly, and kiss you by the end of the date if he was lucky enough. But before he could finish his lunch to go to town, you and Mozart entered the dining room. 

The scene still haunts him.

Your emotionally overwhelmed face, the bright smile, the flushed cheeks… your hand holding his arm, and he smiling at you. Cutlery fell from hands, drinks were spilled, and he’s pretty sure he heard Isaac gasp and stop breathing by his side. You happily announced you were together, and the romantic music everybody was listening to that morning suddenly made sense. You were so happy. He just congratulated you, along with everyone else, and tried to move on. 

Way easier said than done.

He ended up confessing to you the first time he saw you in tears, going against all his principles of never hitting on a compromised person — much less one in such a vulnerable state! Yet, he did it. He poured his heart out, saying he loved and cherished you, that he would never make you cry. He would never choose his work over you, even if his work was so important to him.

Arthur apologized some time later; he didn’t want to give the impression he was trying to take advantage of your fragile moments. So, he waited for things to calm down and confessed again.

You kindly turned him down both times, and he accepted it with a sad smile and a broken heart. Your heart didn’t belong to him; it belonged to the musician. You loved Mozart, and Mozart loved you — despite not being good at showing it, apparently. He’d just have to deal with it and not bother you with this again.

However, there was so much he could take.

He is leaving the mansion when he sees you standing just outside the door, with a lost gaze, tears streaming down your face. He holds you by the shoulders before he thinks better of his actions, but you don’t seem to mind it. You look at him with the saddest expression he’s ever seen on your face, and he knows.

He doesn’t ask what happened; he doesn’t have to. He simply turns you around and guides you by the shoulders back inside the mansion. He takes you to your room and sits you on your bed, observing how you quietly comply.

“I’ll be right back, okay, luv?” he speaks softly, and you just nod once, your gaze lingering on the floor.

He goes to the kitchen, prepares your favorite tea, and brews some coffee for himself. He considers getting something for you to eat too, but you probably don't want to. He arranges two mugs on the tray and returns to your room. You're in the exact same spot and in the exact same state as he left you, and it hurts him to see you so... numb.

He places the tray on your nightstand and goes to your en suite to grab a towel. Sitting down beside you, he reaches for your face, placing his finger under your chin and lifting it slightly to get a better look at you. Silently, he gently passes the towel over your wet cheeks.

"Try to warm up a little now, won’t you?” He offers you the tea, closing your hands around the mug and holding them in place with his own for a moment longer. “It’s your favorite.”

You just nod again, not really in the mood for talking — and you’re not even sure you’ll be able to say something without crying again. He grabs his mug, and you two drink silently, appreciating your own beverages.

"You… won’t ask?" you inquire after some time. Your voice is so low that he thinks he wouldn’t hear you if he weren’t a vampire with great hearing. It cracks another part of his heart open.

Arthur shakes his head and takes your empty mug back, putting it on the tray with his. “I don’t have to,” he says softly.

He wants to, though. A dark part of him would like to hear you dissing Mozart; perhaps you’d realize that he could be better than the musician — he would certainly try to.

Mozart went out early and hasn’t come back yet, probably too busy with the new concert he is working on. Usually, Arthur would find his hard work relatable; he got too invested in his writing too, losing night after night of sleep sometimes. However, it was your birthday today. Your lover set a birthday date with you and left you standing outside the mansion because of work.

“I wouldn’t do it,” he blurts out in a whisper, completing his thoughts aloud. “If you chose me, I’d never make you cry.”

“Arthur…”

“I want to make you happy. I need you to be.” He reaches for you, cradling your face with a gentle touch. He smiles, but it’s sad and broken, and it doesn’t reach his sorrowful gaze. “You don’t have to love me back… But I love you so much, I can’t take it anymore.”

You’re taken aback. Your breath catches in your throat, your tears drying almost instantly, and a cold shock passes through your whole body. After two confessions, you thought you’d be used to him professing his love. But this… This is so much more. You’ve never seen him this vulnerable before. You can practically see him offering his heart on his hands for you. 

“What…” you attempt to speak, but your words falter, lost in the whirlwind of emotions.

Only then does Arthur realize what he just said, widening his eyes. He lets his hands fall limp into his lap, sighing and averting his gaze while mentally cursing himself. He was supposed to be smart, so why does he often act like a fool in front of you? Love really messes with one’s mind.

He closes his eyes and runs his hand through his hair, obviously nervous. He grasps his bangs, tightening his grip in an attempt to stop himself from being an idiot and start acting like a proper man.

“Sorry. This burden is the last thing you need right now,” he mutters, his voice the weakest you’ve ever heard from him. Arthur takes a deep breath and stands up. “But if you… If you need something, you can always call me.” He takes the empty tray and heads to the door, but then he seems to remember something and turns back to you again, forcing a better smile. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

His expression falters the moment he closes the door behind him. Arthur heads straight to his own bedroom, not even bothering to bring the tray to the kitchen; he can do it later. Right now, he just needs to lie down and hope the earth swallows him whole before he embarrasses himself again.

He needs to stop it, he knows that. How is he supposed to control his heart, though? He tried to drown this feeling with different people in town, but he always ended up not wanting to spend the night with them. They weren’t you.

He places the tray on his coffee table and flops down on his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. He feels his blazer getting wet just a few seconds later and lets out a shaky sigh.

It’s going to be another long, lonely evening.

Masterlists

[nimrism]

could you make this post? please, it's so fascinating i really want to hear your thoughts on it

"The Dark Tower" Morgwen Interactions Analysis

i've literally been waiting for someone to ask me this so i can go all out in answer, so you're literally my favorite- THANK YOU! i've tried to put all the thoughts swirling around in my head into one coherent post, so strap in and let's LOOK AT THE IMPLICATIONS (from my perspective)!

first and most importantly, i want to zero in on morgana's choice of kidnapee; she could've chosen anyone in camelot, any one of the knigts who were regularly privy to arthur's battle plans and schedule, but nope. if we're looking at it from the perspective of "she needs the closest person to arthur" wouldn't that be merlin? she could have kidnapped and brainwashed him; he would've made for a fabulous inconspicious mole in the court, and arthur literally goes to him for anything and everything. i actually think it would make for a really interesting au/fic if it were merlin who was kidnapped instead of gwen (love confession/magic reveal possibilities are ENDLESS), but maybe it's a little too close to the plot of "a servant of two masters" and the writers didn't want to be repetitive. i'm going to be biased and delusional in believing that morgana did choose gwen, in particular, for more personal reasons as well as for her nefarious ones.

the way i see it (and this is obviously very objective), by the time we get to this point in s5, morgana is LONELY, like, has-no-one-in-the-world-except-aithusa type of lonely, and her choice of allies has been lacking diversity as of late (why are they all men 💀), AND they all end up dying anyway. so, she needs a plan, and she needs a trusted ally (she also needs a bit of love and lip balm cause DAMN). BUT the thing is, why would anyone be loyal to her? she's never kept any allies (or friends) thanks to her wit and charm alone, she's only ever kept men loyal to her by striking fear in their hearts. it's the same for her friends and family, i think. she doesn't believe they even tolerate her existence, so she needs to be crowned queen to subdue them and FORCE them to respect her. the same goes for gwen. she was only morgana's friend when morgana was a naive and vulnerable girl, plagued by nightmares and unexplained fears, and the second morgana grew out of them (or learned to control them) gwen stopped being affectionate, stopped being open. that's how morgana sees it, and it only reinforces her belief that gwen would never understand the person she's become now, she wouldn't quite see what morgana was trying to do. unless morgana forced her to.

the whole kidnapping affair was to MAKE gwen understand, because she wouldn't do it of her own free will. gwen would never willingly be on morgana's side, so she had to jump through a few morally questionable hoops to bring her over. in the end, i do believe all morgana really wanted was a friend (maybe a little bit more, amirite ladies), though by this point her concept of friendship had become twisted beyond recognition, and in all the chaos, this was the only way she thought she could have one. throughout the episode, a lot of the old morgana shines through, even if it is portrayed as just manipulation, and i do think that was her either slipping back into old habits or forcing herself to, for the sake of the brainwashing and for the sake of their friendship that she's trying to rekindle.

a point that i've seen several people make is that between the niceties, the "real" morgana peeks through several times throughout the ep, but i kinda disagree. i don't necessarily think that just because her smile drops, it means that the niceties were a facade and her "evil" side pops back out. i read the sudden change in expression more as disappointment. gwen fights back with such vigour that it's probably painful for morgana to realize that her former friend sees her as nothing more than an evil witch who's hell-bent on hurting her, now. she's disappointed that gwen, who was supposed to know her best, believes what the others do, and doesn't believe that morgana is being sincere in her offer of friendship.

a small remark i also have is: why wasn't morgana one of the visions/hallucinations gwen had in the dark tower? it's interesting to see that the closest three people to gwen are her brother, arthur, and merlin, of all people. i feel like gwen's history with morgana has to have had a lasting effect on both of them, even if morgana is supposed to be "evil" now. you don't stop loving someone just because they've chosen (or BEEN chosen by) the dark side. morgana was one of the people gwen cared about most in seasons 1 through 3 (s3 is pushing it a little, but still), it doesn't really make sense for it all to be forgotten so completely like we see in this episode. i also think it would've been super interesting to see a hallucination of younger morgana in particular, partially as a reminder that part of gwen still cares about morgana and largely because i'd like to see how gwen would react to that vision... would it differ from the other three? what would morgana do? would she sneer and laugh like elyan and arthur? would she do a little rawr like merlin (😭)? i feel like a ficlet is in order for this concept cause i would like to see it but i have to imagine it first (but that's the hard part 😭)

NOW ONTO THE MOST DELICIOUS PART OF THIS ANALYSIS: THE QUOTES

M: "Would you prefer some chicken?"

i just found this one hilarious tbh like she's so out of pocket what are you doing offering your kidnapee some chicken and WHAT WAS THE OTHER OPTION, IF NOT CHICKEN?

M: "I know how lonely you must be, all by yourself in that room. At least you're not shackled, and there's daylight. You can move, you can see."

oof. she's obviously referring to her own capture and torture, pulling from her own experience. it's heartwrenching that morgana has been through all of this, traumatised beyond reason, but it's even more heartwrenching that she thinks she's doing gwen a service, like this. it might not seem like that to any sane person, but after everything she's been through, morgana's worldview is completely different. in her mind, however twisted and detached it has become, she's being merciful to gwen this way, giving her luxuries that she was never afforded when she was captured. (including a warm meal with chicken at miss havisham's table 🤩)

M: "I too have suffered, Gwen. I spent two years living in darkness. I spent two years chained to a wall at the bottom of a pit... You did not know."

goddddd this line... it's just so painful, so powerful, so indicative of SO MANY THINGS. it's EVERYTHING. every acting choice katie and angel made in this scene was brilliant but ESPECIALLY their facial expressions in this particular part WOAH. the way morgana's voice cracks on the word "pit" is DEVASTATING. i was floored. the way gwen's face falls as she processes her words and they properly set in... INCREDIBLE. the concern in gwen's eyes is palpable as she realizes the horrors inflicted on her friend. and the final "you did not know" was so, so powerful. morgana realizes that gwen didn't know about and clearly wasn't okay with what she went through. gwen had no part in it. morgana SMILES at gwen's reaction, but instead of it being a smile of malice or evil it's one of RELIEF, and one that she hides very promptly. she's reassured in the knowledge that gwen had no idea she had suffered so immensely, and that, more importantly, she wasn't involved in it. it's SO important to note that morgana has no idea whether arthur had a hand in her own torture or not. it's especially not a good look on him that he invites the sarrum as a friend of camelot so soon after the events of "the dark tower", so, as far as morgana knows, he could've been a "friend" when she was being tortured for years, too. i wonder what would've happened if morgana had kidnapped gwen AFTER the sarrum's visit to camelot... i feel like that would have complicated things with gwen much further, if morgana thought she was complicit in her imprisonment.

M: "I would have sold my soul for someone to show me kindness such as this."

only two points on this heartbreaking line: 1- FUCK the sarrum of amata. all my homies HATE the sarrum. s4 and s5 morgana might both be textbook cases of "evil", but they're two VERY different people with two very different worldviews and tactics. morgana's imprisonment turned her into the cold husk of a person she is by s5. and 2- this just further confirms that morgana thinks she's doing gwen a favor, dining with her and letting sunlight into her room and choosing not to tie her up etc.

M: "Your hands are cold... I have a warm fire going for you."

oh boy is this a MOMENT. the way morgana keeps her hand held out. the way gwen reluctantly puts her hand in hers (MORGWEN HAND-HOLD!) *ivy by taylor swift starts playing out of nowhere* {ohhhhh goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another, ohhh}

um anyway i digressed. then the way gwen wriggles her hand out of morgana's grasp, while morgana grips her fingers with unwavering determination... it's just delicious.

M: "Anything you want, you can have. I'll give it to you."

idk about you but personally i'm SOLD. take all my money. i read this as morgana trying her utmost best to sell gwen on joining her, but i can also see the manipulation laced in it.

G: "Why are you doing this?"

M: "Because we're friends. We always were."

to me, this reinforces the theory that morgana's just trying to get her friend back on her side. by stating that they've always been friends, morgana reaffirms their friendship as much to herself as to gwen. she was her friend once, and she can be again.

M: "I'm helping you. I'm looking after you."

this sort of feels like morgana is telling herself that, more than she's telling gwen. maybe it's just part of the manipulation process, but i do believe that this was morgana's conscience reassuring her that what she's doing is in gwen's favor and that she's being kind to her.

M: "It's alright, I'm here."

UGH this line. morgana is being the person she needed when she was imprisoned. this scene is also a parallel to all the times morgana woke up screaming in the middle of the night and gwen was there to comfort her in s1/2. this time the tables have turned and it's morgana comforting gwen. simply delicious.

M: "My darling, I was wrong to make you suffer."

TEA! to say that this line was spoken from the bottom of morgana's heart might just be a bit too delusional, but i like to think there's at least some truth to it. torturing gwen had a lot of paralells to morgana's own imprisonment and torture, and she did want to make her suffer, at least in the beginning. but it was also different from what morgana went through. this is NOT to justify torture, btw, torture is BAD, but her "manipulation" tactics got a bit too personal at some point, and i like to think at least a part of it was genuine.

G: "No. Whatever twisted game you're playing, I want no part in it. I would rather stay here and die."

ouch. gwen's resistance to the last possible minute shows such strength on her part (cause me? i would've given in before she even dragged me through the desert tbh) and it gave us such a delicious performance from angel; the reluctance? the uncertainty? the distrust? the relief that morgana is there but also the FEAR of what she's doing? the contradiction between the morgana that gwen once knew and the morgana that everyone KNOWS is evil? but the morgana that gwen once knew is shining through now, and she's saying everything gwen wants to hear... grade-A angst.

IN CONCLUSION they're gfs your honor, this was all just a plot to snatch gwen back from arthur cause morgana didn't think seducing her herself would work. (this phrase could be in reference to this ep or the "lancelot du lac" ep i'm cackling morgana really is hopeless) there are also SEVERAL psychological layers to it, but describing it this way is just easier.

SO... this is possibly the longest post i've ever made. it got a little more comprehensive than i originally thought it would be, but THERE YOU HAVE IT! that's my take on the morgwen interactions in the dark tower. if i seem a little biased, that's because i 100% am :) i hope that clears things up. this is an open invitation to keep sending me asks (even if it's about the most random things ever) cause i love them and i love every single person who sends in an ask, and a public apology for how long these answers get sometimes 😭

[musings-of-a-rose]

I'll Always Wait For You - Chapter 17

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Word Count: 4200+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Holy shit, y’all. Unless something goes completely bananas, this is the penultimate chapter of this fic. I can’t believe it! 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

I'll Always Wait For You Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

<;<Chapter 16

Settling back into a normal routine after being gone for 8 months, and after having been through so much heartache and out the other side, was proving more difficult than you’d thought. While Frankie confessed everything, and you forgave him, you also wanted to have some space and ease back into things. Luckily, you were able to rent out an apartment about an hour down the road from Frankie.

Frankie continued to be slightly nervous around you, as if he didn’t know how to behave. It took him a week before he tentatively asked you to dinner, your “yes” earning you a brilliant smile in return. He didn’t settle into himself until well after dinner, walking you to your door, making light small talk until you turned to him, your hands gripping his shirt as you pulled him to you, your lips crashing together. You barely got the door closed behind you before clothes started to fly, Frankie chasing you down the hall as you laughed, pressing you into the bed as your bodies melded together until well into the morning. 

3 months later, you’re at Frankie’s house, just the two of you celebrating a year of him being clean. You’d cooked him his favorite meal, settling into the couch to watch a movie after. He wanted to keep things low key and spend time with just you - he said the boys can wait. He pulls you to him and nuzzles into your hair, holding you as close as he can during the entire movie. But once it ends, you glance at the clock and sigh.

“It’s getting late, Frankie.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yeah, but I have an hour drive ahead of me.”

He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. “That sounds terrible.”

A small whine escapes you as his lips continue to pepper small, light kisses on your skin. “It really sucks.”

Suddenly, the kisses stop, his lips pressed against your ear. “Then move in with me.”

“Wh-what?”

He pulls your earlobe inbetween his teeth, lightly nipping at you before pulling back, making sure you’re looking at him before he repeats himself.

“Move in with me.”

“You…you want to live together?”

“That’s typically what happens when you move in with someone.”

Are you ready for this? Ready to make that leap? His eyes are wide as he watches you think, and you know he’d support whatever choice you made.

“I’ll need some closet space.”

A smile quickly spreads across his face. “You can have the whole damn closet, Hermosa!”

Pushing him to sit up, you throw your leg over his lap, your fingers winding into the curls at the back of his neck. You pull his head back, looking down into his eyes, finding yourself falling in love with him all over again. 

“I love you, Francisco Morales.”

Frankie confesses his love before pulling you to him, his lips gently brushing against yours, his breath catching when he realizes you’re grinding on him, He grips your hips, guiding you as you ride him, his stomach providing the perfect pressure against your clit as he quickly brings you to the edge, his name falling from your lips as you come. Before you’ve finished coming down, he���s pressed your back into the couch, quickly shoving his own pants down just enough to spring free before pushing your panties aside and thrusting in, hooking his arms under your legs as he fucks you into the couch, your fingernails digging little crescents into his skin as you writhe under him. When he comes, he pants out your name, pressing his forehead to yours, breathing heavily. He pulls out with a hiss, cleaning both of you up before kissing you again. 

“Can you move in tomorrow?”

—----

You spend the next morning packing. It doesn’t take you more than a few hours, as you hadn’t really unpacked everything from storage when you got back. The place you were renting was supposed to be temporary until you found something closer to everyone, so you hadn’t seen the point in pulling everything out only to put it back within a few months. Frankie loaded up his truck and your car, leaving for his house, no wait, your house, at your insistence as you finished cleaning the apartment. Once satisfied, you took pictures and turned in your keys, smiling as you got into your car and drove to the house you were going to make a home with Frankie.

But when you pulled up to the house, a very familiar car sat alongside his truck. Parking behind Frankie, you get out and walk towards the house, voices already raised and loud enough for you to hear some words, getting clearer as you approach the door.

“...only need to talk about Aurelia.”

“But Frank, we used to be so good together-”

“Oh come on, Liz! We were terrible together!”

“Not always! Aurelia is proof of that!”

“I love our daughter with all my heart, but that doesn’t mean we were good together.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining that ni-”

“You fucking divorced me while I was in a coma, Liz. Who the fuck does that?”

“Well, I-I didn’t know if you’d ever wake up! I had to take care of Aurelia!”

Frankie scoffs. “You left her with Hermosa all the time!”

“I was trying to secure a future without you in it!”

“That’s sort of my point, Liz.”

“Let’s…let’s just take a step back. I love you, Frank. I don’t want to lose you. I see now how wonderful of a father you are and a great hus-”

Frankie’s voice is low, but strong. Authoritative. And you wonder if this is the voice he used when in command. 

“Liz…we are over. I don’t want to talk to you or see you outside of anything to do with Aurelia. Only contact me through the Talking Parents app unless it’s an emergency.”

A few moments pass before she speaks. “But, Frank, I-”

“You pushed me on drugs, Elizabeth. Told me I was a fucking miserable person without them. Told me I was better on them. You’re the reason I got back on them. You and fucking Rick. And don’t get me started on how you treated my friends, especially Hermosa.”

“Oh that bitch was always getting in the way.”

“Get the fuck out of my house.” There’s that commanding tone, but this time it has an edge and it sends chills down your spine.

“What-”

“Get…the fuck…out of…our house.”

“Our house? She’s living here?”

“Get. Out.”

Frankie’s heavy footsteps echo across the wood floor and the door flies open just as you raise your fist to knock. 

“Oh. I…I didn’t know you were here.”

“I just got here. But I can come back?”

Frankie shakes his head, pulling you inside. “No. Elizabeth was just leaving.”

You finally look at her and see a look of utter defeat on her face. She looks between you for a moment and then nods, pulling her keys from her pocket as she walks past you.

“Talking Parents unless it’s an emergency, Elizabeth.”

“I’ll be by on Thursday to drop off Aurelia.”

“Wait.”

She turns to look at him, a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. 

“I’m filing for supervised drops offs. Meet me at the fire station on 12th.”

That glimmer of hope sizzles out and he closes the door in her face, pausing to listen for her fading footsteps as she gets in her car and drives off. His shoulders slump and he lets out a puff of air. You walk to him and pull him to you, his arms wrapping around you as he sighs.

“How much did you hear?”

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.”

He chuckles sadly. “So most of it?”

“You guys were really loud.”

He chuckles again. “Well….at least that’s over with.”

You pull back and look at him. “Are you ok?”

He takes a breath and nods. “I am. Actually, I feel fucking great. I’ve set it up to where I never have to be around her without someone else, she can only talk to me through that co-parenting app, and the best part? My girl is finally moving in!”

He takes your hand and pulls you down the hall to his bedroom, but he doesn’t lead you to the bed. Instead, he opens his closet door and gestures for you to look. He had cleaned out half of the closet and left space for you to put in a dresser. 

“I did clean out a drawer for you, but I figured you’d want your own space.”

Your eyes fill with tears as you turn to him, placing your hands on either side of his face. “This is perfect, Frankie. Thank you.”

You pull him to you, his lips pressing against yours before sliding his tongue inside your mouth. He guides you to his bed and spends the night between your legs, both of you celebrating finally being together in the same home. 

—----

“ ‘bout time you moved her in, Fish!” Benny slaps Frankie on the back as he walks past him, a case of beer in his opposite hand. 

Frankie nods, a smile on his face. “I wish it had happened years ago, but…” He shrugs and Benny smiles at him. 

“I was rootin’ for you the whole time.”

“I know you were.”

Frankie follows Benny into the backyard where everyone had started setting up for a moving in BBQ. Stacy and Will’s kids were running around the yard with Aurelia, who had been dropped off earlier in the day. When she found out you were now living with her dad, she screamed and jumped into your embrace, her tiny arms winding around your neck. 

Everyone says some version of “about time” to you before relaxing, Frankie manning the grill as Will stands next to him, saying he’s “supervising”. Benny was being pulled around by the kids, eventually being used as a literal jungle gym, the kids screaming with laughter as Benny would grab them and toss them in the air. His girlfriend, Olivia, watched him with love in her eyes and you could see the possibility of a future of them together. Benny was like the brother you never had and it made you smile to know that someone was taking care of him. The party lasted well into the night until the kids all fell asleep in their dad’s laps, Frankie calling it when Aurelia’s puddle of drool on his shoulder got to be too much. 

You wake the next morning to Frankie’s hands on you, one hand lightly clapped over your mouth to keep you quiet as he rubs small circles on your clit, feeling your body shudder with your release. You feel him hard against your ass and you push your hips back, Frankie grunting as he quickly pushes inside of you, that hand still clapped over your mouth. He slowly thrusts in and out, nipping at your exposed skin on your shoulder as his fingers dig into your hip. His pacing becomes more erratic the deeper he thrusts until he’s panting in your ear, biting on your shoulder as he comes with you. When he’s done, he turns your head and kisses you before pulling out, holding you when you turn to face him, burying your face in his chest.

“Good morning, Hermosa.”

“Good morning, indeed.”

“Is the door locked?”

Frankie lifts his head to look at the handle. “Yeah, why?”

You push at his shoulder, getting him to lay on his back as you straddle his hips, rubbing yourself along his quickly hardening cock, spearing yourself on him and quielty riding him until he comes, his nails leaving crescents marks in the skin on your hips. 

“Fuck, I love you so much, Hermosa.”

His hands find your boobs and he squeezes them, listening to your moan. “I love you Frankie.”

Before anything else can happen, a small series of pounds sounds across the bedroom door.

“Papa? I’m hungry!”

You both chuckle and Frankie grunts, gripping your hips to get you to stop laughing, trying to push you off his overstimulated cock. “I’ll be right there, mija.”

About 20 minutes later, you make your way downstairs, listening to Frankie and Aurelia sing in the kitchen and round the corner to see them dancing together, her little feet on top of his as they turn about the room, a plate of cooling bacon and pancakes on the table. 

“Mosa!” Aurelia makes a grabby hand to you and you walk over, one of her little feet moving to stand on yours as she uses both you and Frankie to dance.

When you look up at Frankie, a large smile on your face, his eyes find yours, big and brown, love radiating off of him. 

This is perfect.

—----

“Ok, this is so fucking cool!”

A few months after you moved in, Frankie asked to finally take you flying. You were thrilled to finally get to share this little part of him and to see why he loved it so much. So you swallowed back any fear, trusting Frankie completely. 

“No wonder you love your job!”

Frankie’s laugh crackles in the headset. “I love it up here.”

“It’s…freeing? Almost? If that makes sense.”

“Yeah. It does.”

About 15 minutes later, Frankie touches down in a random field in the middle of nowhere, obviously having been here before. He turns off the helicopter and motions for you to wait a minute. You watch him grab a giant basket out of the back and walk over to a spot under some trees, spreading out a blanket and setting up a small picnic lunch. He comes back over to you a few minutes later and offers you his hand, helping you down from the chopper. He takes your hand in his large one, gently pulling you towards the spot he had just set up. 

“Oh Frankie! This looks amazing!”

He had packed delicious looking sandwiches, fresh fruit and juice, and some of his homemade potato chips. You both sat, Frankie divvying up food and handing you a plate. As you ate you looked around at the field, wildflowers growing amongst the tall grass, trees surrounding the edges of the area, which was just large enough for the helicopter to land without chopping down any trees. The wind gently moves the trees, a familiar whoosh sound as it winds through leaves and needles. 

“It’s beautiful, Frankie. How did you find this place?”

Frankie takes a sip of lemonade before answering. “By accident, actually. I turned the wrong way at a road and ended up seeing this small clearing. I set down so I could focus on the map and realized how pretty it is.”

“I bet this is where you bring all the ladies.”

He smiles, his eyes pulling you in with their warmth. “Only you.”

You smile back, reaching your hand out to cup his cheek, scratching at his patchy facial hair. “I’m honored.”

Frankie leans forward, pressing his lips to yours before pulling back quickly. “I brought my cake.”

Your eyes grow wide and you gasp. “My favorite cake?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Why didn’t bring that out first?”

You make grabby hands as Frankie takes out a small cake holder from the basket, opening the lids and putting a pre-cut piece of cake on a plate for you. You jab a fork in it, quickly shoving the delicious dessert in your mouth, moaning slightly when you start to chew.

“Fuck, Frankie. If you didn’t love flying so much, I’d suggest being a chef.”

He chuckles. “I like cooking, but it’s not where my heart is.”

You study him for a moment. “And where is your heart, Frankie?”

“With you.”

“No, I meant career-wise. You look like you’re thinking about something.”

He’s silent for several moments. “It’s…it’s nothing.”

You set your plate down, half a piece of cake still left on it. “Frankie, it’s not nothing. Tell me. Please?”

He looks at you and caves instantly. “Alright, but promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course I won’t.”

“Well…I had this idea. To open my own chopper business.”

“Oh Frankie! That would be so cool!”

He smiles, the dimple on his cheek deepening as his smile grows wider. “Yeah! But it would also be Veteran owned, by me, and operated. I’d only hire Veterans. It’s hard enough finding jobs when you get out, but one that will allow you to keep flying? I know how hard those are to come by. Also, I need to check into if I can get some decommissioned birds. Maybe have a “fly with a Vet in a real, legit blackhawk” or something. I think people might like that?”

You take his hand in yours, squeezing it. “Frankie, this is an amazing idea! Have you looked into it?”

His smile falters slightly. “Yeah a little. The cost is what’s stopping me.”

“Why don’t you look for investors?”

“Who would want to invest in this?”

“I would.”

He looks at you. “I can’t take your money.”

“You most certainly can.”

“No, Hermosa. It’s too much.”

“I can’t give you all the money, but I’d like to help.”

“No money.”

“But-”

“You can help by being supportive. And maybe helping with paperwork?” He puts on a puppy eye look and you laugh.

“You know I can’t say no to that face.”

“Good. That makes this easier.”

Frankie shifts in front of you, taking your hands in his, his eyes finding yours. 

“Ever since the day we met, when you punched that guy in the face for calling me a spic, someone you don’t even know, I knew I wanted you in my life. I should’ve told you then, or anytime before shipping out, but I was…afraid. I didn’t want to risk you not feeling the same. And then we kissed and that should’ve been it. You had me entirely the moment our lips touched. And yeah, we got lost from each other along the way, but…well, I guess almost dying brought you back to me. And we’ve been through so much, and I know I hurt you, but, Hermosa..I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you’re happy. I want to wake up every day next to you, have kids with you, grow old with you. You have me, heart and soul, and I love you so fucking much. Hermosa…will you marry me?”

Frankie pulls out a small, wooden box. When he opens it, you see a vintage ring, ornate with a large ruby in the middle, filigree designs weaving their way around the band. You recognize the ring almost instantly, as you had seen Frankie’s abuela wear it in her photos and you remember mentioning to Frankie how beautiful it was.

“I..Frankie..of course I will!”

He lets out a laugh of air, putting the ring on your outstretched hand before pulling you to him, kissing you deeply. Both of your cheeks are wet, tears streaming down them as you lean back, letting Frankie guide you to lay down on the blanket. A slight grunt of pain from him has you pushing him back up, shaking your head at the apology on his lips. 

“I know you’re done with the cane, Frankie, but please, let’s not push it? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He nods once, the smile quickly coming back as he watches you stare at your hand.

“Is this your abuela’s ring?”

He nods. “I uh…I actually asked my mom if I could have it the day we kissed.”

“After the hospital?”

A blush creeps up his cheeks and when he doesn’t answer, you tear your eyes away from the ring to look at him.

“Frankie?”

“Not…not after the hospital.”

“Oh. Then..when?”

“After…after our first kiss.”

“Our first…Frankie, that was well over a decade ago…”

“I…I knew that, or well I hoped that one day I would marry you. And I wanted to make sure I had my abuela’s ring to give to you.”

“But…but you married Elizabeth?”

“I never gave her this ring. It was never hers.”

“You mean…you held onto it…the whole time?”

“Well, I had my mom hold it for a bit, when I was afraid Elizabeth would find it and pawn it.”

“But…but you’ve had it the entire time?”

“Well, yeah. I told you, you’ve always had me.”

“Oh, Frankie!” 

You push him back, quickly straddling his hips as you kiss him, your fingers trying to grip any part of his face you can reach. His hands settle on your hips before pushing you back slightly.

“I thought you said no sex?”

You take off your shirt and toss it on the blanket. “No, I said I don’t want you hurting yourself with your bad legs and hip. I never said anything about me fucking you into this field.”

—----

You hop in Frankie’s truck after he turned in the chopper, tossing the basket in the truck bed before hopping in himself. He turns on the truck and drives out, lacing your hand with his and bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your hand.

“So, you have a particular date in mind for the wedding, Frankie?”

“I’d marry you right now.”

“Ok. Then let’s go to the courthouse.”

He chuckles, but when he doesn’t hear you responding, his eyes snap to you. 

“Seriously?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

He checks the mirror before cutting across several lanes of traffic. A few minutes later, you find yourselves in front of the courthouse, both of you smiling and giggling. 

“Are we…are we really going to do this, Hermosa?”

“Only if you want to.”

“You don’t want some large wedding?”

“Nah. We can always have a small ceremony in the backyard? Just the boys and such, and our parents. I don’t need something huge and elaborate.”

“You don’t?”

“I just want to be with you. Nothing more.”

He pulls you to him and kisses you for a moment before pulling back. 

“We’re going to need a witness, I think.”

30 minutes later, you meet Benny and Olivia out front of the courthouse, his smile large and bright as he pulls you to him, hugging you so tight that you have to tap his arm to let you go.

“My baby girl is growing up.”

“I’m the same age as you, Benjamin.”

Benny sticks his tongue out at you. “So…we doin’ this?”

“Benny!” Olivia smacks his arm.

“Ouch! What?”

“They’re getting married. Have some class.”

They smile at each other as Benny offers his arm to her, leading her inside along with you and Frankie. You sign the log book and wait until your name is called, Olivia heading inside to wait in the pews. Benny pushes Frankie inside and turns to you when the doors close.

“Last chance to run, ‘Mosa.”

You roll your eyes but pull him to you, giving him a tight hug. 

“Love you, Benny.”

He kisses the top of your head. “Love you too.”

Benny leans over to the flowers on the receptionists desk and plucks out a flower, earning himself a glare from the flower’s owner. He gives her a wink and she settles, Benny turning to offer you his arm. 

“Let’s get you hitched.”

3 minutes later, you’re kissing Frankie, sealing your vows as Benny and Olivia whoop and clap in the background. Frankie takes your hand and leads you back down the isle, pushing open the doors before spinning you and pulling you in for another kiss.

“Alright, alright. Settle down. This is a place of law,” Benny teases as he comes up behind you. 

“Are you going to have a party?” Olivia asks.

“We were thinking of doing a small ceremony and reception in the backyard at our house. Just the family and our parents. Nothing too big. Maybe a few weeks from now?”

Olivia claps her hands. “Oh that sounds wonderful! Can I do your hair?”

“Um yes please!”

The four of you exchange ideas for the small backyard ceremony, and by the time you make it home, you’ve already got a solid plan. A few weeks from then, you’ll have your little backyard wedding you’ve always wanted, complete with the man of your dreams. 

“I can’t believe I left the house this morning with one name, and now I’m coming back on the same day, except now I’m Mrs. Morales.”

“Fuck!” 

Frankie flings the door open, swooping you off your feet to carry you over the threshold, kicking the door closed with his foot as he carries you to the bedroom, where you spend the rest of the night tangled up in each other. The first night as The Morales’s.

—----

A couple weeks later, you and Frankie stop at this grocery store across town, the only place that has the mini appetizers you were looking for for the wedding. While there, you grabbed several other things that were on your "must" list, giggling and smiling at each other, placing not so secret kisses to each others lips as you made your way through the aisles. 

"Could you not?"

A familiar voice snaps you and Frankie apart, having started making out in front of the crackers.

"Elizabeth…what are you doing here?" Frankie asks, trying to keep a level voice. 

"Buying groceries."

Frankie nods, looking around. "Where's Aurelia?"

"At a friend's house for a play date."

"Sounds like fun."

Elizabeth nods to your cart. "Having a play date of your own, I see?"

Ugh this bitch.

"A grown up play date." You place your hand with the ring on Frankie's chest, pointedly looking at Elizabeth. You were so sick of her shit that you wanted to make sure she knew that you and Frankie were moving forward. 

Her eyes land on the ring and go wide for a moment. A fleeting expression of anger and jealousy crosses her face before she schools it, fixing a fake look of forced happy on her face. 

"How…wonderful for you both," she says through gritted teeth.

Before you can reply, she spins on her heel and storms off, leaving her cart of groceries in the aisle. 

"That might be a problem later " Frankie says, worry laced in his voice.

You chuckle and he looks at you. "I'm so sick of her shit, Frankie. If she wants to do something, I say bring it. We can face whatever it is together."

>>Chapter 18>>

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

[charliedawn]

Hi♥️Can I request for a fic in this slasher series when y/n dies or killed in a story you choose and how they react and who took it hard the most? Just read your slasher fic series in 2 days and I love it! The chapter 34 to 43 are missing in the list and I was wondering why? Michael really made me blush a lot and the Gif isn't helping eather😣💓 Thanks for beautiful fics!

(Hey! Thank you for the request and I have to admit not knowing what those chapters are ? If they are the latest, I'm afraid I didn't add them yet. But, I'll be sure to add them soon.)

It was a day like any other, the day when Y/N L/N died. They were taking a stroll in the forest and thinking about everything they had done so far for the slashers and all the things they would accomplish in the future. But then, they heard the shot.

For a short time, they worried someone had shot one of the slashers by mistake and turned around to return to the facility when..they felt it.

The excruciating pain in their chest.

They slowly lowered their gaze and their eyes watered as an ugly red splotch started spreading on the white cloth of their nurse uniform.

The slashers all felt that something was wrong and ran out of the facility in a same wave of unbridled chaos.

Some would call it an unlucky shot, hunters who had gone too far in the forest and had mistaken you for game.

But, no matter what the reason was..It changed the slashers and left a void never to be filled again..

He tear the hunters who had come to check on you off you and roared.

Penny:

Penny was the first to reach you with his inhuman speed and extraordinary sense of smell.

"DO NOT TOUCH THEM !"

His eyes flashed orange in warning at them and he sniffed your body—desperate to find a sparkle of life. It was the first time Penny wished to smell your fear, to at least know you were alive.

But, he felt nothing.

He cradled you in his arms and felt his voice crack as he slowly turned towards the hunter with the still fuming rifle.

His face started twisting and blood pouring out of his eyes, nose and mouth as he shouted.

"I WILL BRING WAR UPON YOU LIKE THE RED FLAMES OF GODLY VENGEANCE ! WAAARRRRR !"

His voice broke as his face split in two and large sharp teeth sprung out in order to rip off the nearest hunter's head.

The hunters started running after seing Penny's face, but it was already too late.

In a matter of seconds, they were torn to pieces with horrible squelching sounds and devoured until nothing was left but blood and your corpse behind.

Finally, the other slashers found him and when they saw your body, they all shared Penny's grief and didn't try to stop him when he carried you back to the hospital.

The staff was waiting for you, and none dared to speak as Penny entered, drenched in blood and his eyes unfocused..

Penny was inconsolable. He spent days locked up in his cage—scratching and leaving large gashes in his walls and screeched so loud the whole hospital could hear him.

Pennywise :

Pennywise was angry upon discovering your body and it took him a minute or two to realize you weren't coming back.

Once the realization hit, he growled lowly and his claws pierced through the fabric of his gloves.

His eyes flashed bright yellow at the hunters—now huddled together in fear. The bravest pointed their riffles at him, but when they tried to shoot, the shot went backwards and killed them instead.

"You don't know what you have done..You have killed the only person that made me think humanity still had a chance. That you didn't all deserve to be devoured and sent to Hell..Congrats, you idiots. You've just doomed your whole species !"

His head twisted abnormally as he cornered the frightened hunters and his mouth opened wide.

However, they didn't see the lights.

They didn't deserve it.

He didn't leave anything behind, not even a small piece..He then returned to you and held your hand.

He stroked it gently and when he was sure nobody would come and find him in his most vulnerable state, he broke into tears of blood.

It had been so long since he had last cried..But, he knew the feeling in his chest to be sorrow and knowing none of the other ones would be able to bury you in a satisfactory way..He decided to lay you down in a field of wild flowers and cover your body with a thin veil Maturin had given him long ago—one that would allow your body to stay unspoilt for years and centuries to come..

"Goodbye, nice nurse..Know that you may very well have been the only human I have ever loved.."

Arthur :

Arthur was the closest to your location and when he arrived and found you laid down on the ground. He instantly knew.

He didn't cry.

He didn't scream.

"I'm sorry, sweetie..I arrived too late."

Arthur mercilessly shot them all and when the slashers finally arrived, they were surprised to find one of the hunters still breathing.

Their eyes turned to your lifeless form and Pennywise took the last hunter by the back of the neck to throw him unceremoniously before the slashers.

"That little sh*t killed them. Do whatever you want with him.."

"N..No. Please.", the last hunter begged—but was met with deaf ears.

The slashers didn't hesitate and all started beating the man to a pulp until nothing remained.

All the work you had done. All the sacrifices you had made..All gone.

With your absence, the slashers were bound to return to their old ways and Arthur found it ironical.

To think all your work had gone to waste..What a shame.

Once he was out of sight, Arthur stopped and looked up, a crow flying high above the trees—spying.

He smiled.

Maybe in another life, would he find you again ?

But, he shook his head.

Nah. If he knew one thing about life it was that it wasn't fair or merciful..

Game over.

The hunters were dead before they could even take another breath. They had all of their heads cut off in one singular swing of Jason's powerful machete.

He then quickly knelt by your side and tried to wake you up, until he realized it was too late.

The grief took over him and he refused anyone to touch your body for days. He didn't want to believe you were truly gone and took all his frustration out on the trees outside.

It was better than to admit to the slashers that he was crushed, a mess inside..Brahms tried to comfort him, but had to give up after some time.

Then, Jason decided to close himself to everything around him until he slowly started drowning in guilt..

The slashers then decided to send the only person they thought they'd never send..Freddy.

Freddy *kicks open his door* : "QUIT YOUR MOPPING AND GET OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM, YOU BIG LAZY A** !"

It was followed by a big fight where Jason could fight out all his pent-up frustration and anger.

At the end, the both of them were pretty beat up and bloody—but it did help Jason a little as he finally confessed.

"They're..gone."

Freddy sighed before sitting down next to him.

"Yup. They are. And do you really think they'd like you to stay here and cry your eyes out ? They fought for this place. They fought for you..The least ya could do is respect that, yeh ?"

Jason didn't want to admit that Freddy was right, but he was. You had given your life for that hospital and him.

The least he could do was make sure to realize your wish and redeem himself. For you.

Freddy :

The rather cheerful and obnoxious slasher had fallen quiet upon the news of your death.

It was strange not hearing him jeer or complain for days on end. He only stared and whoever would enter his cell would suffer an unfortunate and drastic end.

Having a chatty Freddy used to be a good sign that he was growing softer...But, the cold silence coming from him afterwards was the worst thing and it showed just how much he cared.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart..It seems ol' Freddy wasn't fast enough this time around."

He whispered above your grave and left his hat on your tombstone before walking away.

He had made a promise to you not to let his anger affect him, but he will have to break it. Just this once. Just until he could find the bastards that had taken you away from him..

After all, guilt did make the best nightmares..

Freddy *cackles darkly* : "You'll see, sweetheart...They'll regret ever firing that shot. I promise you that."

It would make Freddy go on a murder rampage and track all of your murderers to the very last one—all of them.

He would make them suffer for what they did—beg for death. And even then, I don't think he'd be merciful.

Michael :

Michael had a short moment of disbelief as he saw your body hit the ground..The bullet had been meant for him no doubt, but the hunters hadn't calculated the risk of him being accompanied.

"Please..", he rasped, "..Don't leave me."

For once, he didn't hear Myers at the back of his head, he was silent as well.

They both couldn't believe it and Michael held you closer.

"Please, sunshine..Wake up. I need you. Please.."

He begged you, but your eyes remained closed. It was too late.

You were gone.

Michael cried over your body and even though the sight of blood had never fazed him—yours made him sick and shake with horror.

Michael had just gathered the courage to tell you how much he was grateful for you, to tell you that he wasn't scared of Myers anymore, because you were there.

But, the bullet had hit its target before he could, and he would never be able to tell you now, to tell you how much he cared about you.

He kissed your forehead lovingly and felt his sorrow turn to indescribable rage as he felt the cold skin under his lips.

Myers took over and he looked in the direction where the hunters had run.

He put his mask on and pulled his knife out.

None of the hunters were ever found..

Brahms :

Brahms thought it was an odd game, or some kind of prank at first.

He laughed it off and tried to shake you awake. But, his smile quickly vanished when he realized you weren't waking up.

"Come on..It's not funny anymore.."

He insisted, but you didn't answer and he looked up to see that the slashers had now surrounded you and weren't looking at him.

"W...Why aren't they waking up ?", he asked with teary eyes—but none of them answered. How were they supposed to tell him ? Tell him that you would never stand up ever again..

Jason finally knelt beside the both of you and laid his hand on Brahms' shoulder with an apologetic expression.

When Brahms realized you weren't coming back, he felt tears well up in his eyes and slowly closed your eyes.

This way, he could imagine for a second more that you were simply asleep..

Brahms had learned to show his face, leaving his mask on his bedside table and go along his merry way with a big smile on his face since your first meeting.

The day you died, he put his mask back on. No one would ever see his face again..

He then went on a bloody rampage to track down all of your killers—followed suit by Jason.

Five immediately teleported to your location and froze at the sight of your body on the floor.

He didn't give a chance to the hunters to find an excuse and butchered them all.

"I never got the chance to tell them how..how much I cared. All because of you.", Five muttered to the corpses now scattered on the ground.

He then knelt beside you and slowly picked you up, carefully bringing you back to the hospital where slashers, patients and staff alike stood out of his way.

He then put you down on the sofa in the living room and a heavy silence settled all around at the realization that you were dead.

Nobody wanted to believe it, Five first and foremost.

He had promised you to never kill again, but what was the point of keeping that promise when you weren't there anymore ?

You were the only one Five had ever willingly listened to and your death took all of the mercy he had for this world with it.

He would go back to his family and let the world burn, let it be destroyed by another apocalypse or natural disaster.

Your death would be the starting point of the world's downfall. No biggie. 😂

Norman went through a long period of depression after you died. He blamed himself for not being there to stop it.

He knew it was bound to happen eventually, he just wished it wouldn't be so soon.

He did make sure your killers were well punished for their mistake, but it make the pain any less excruciating..

He looked up at the ceiling and covered his eyes with his arm—asking with tears streaming down his face.

"My little monster..I'm lost. What should I do now ?"

His question was left unanswered as he remembered all the times you had been there to answer.

You always had the answer to everything—that's what he liked about you.

You always made him feel as if life was worth living and now that you were gone, a big empty hole had replaced you in his heart..

He felt numb and the very thought that he would never see you again was enough to make him sick and wonder if he could just end it all..But then, he thought of what you were discussing before your death. Your wish to help the slashers as much as possible and he started thinking about it.

The slashers had always been a great concern of yours since the moment you had discovered their existence through Norman and he wanted to honor you.

So, he would continue your work and make sure to be a worthy example for the slashers and guide them, as you wanted.

Norman : "I'll make you proud, my little monster..You'll see."

Hannibal Jr. immediately ran towards the sound of the riffle shot and when he found you on the ground—lifeless..Something snapped in him.

He shot them all. They didn't even see it coming.

You were the only person who had ever believed he could be better—the only person willing to see past the indifference and false pretense.

Foolish dream, as he was now staring at your dead body with nothing but cold numbness.

He wondered if he should eat you ? He would probably start with the liver, the heart and finally, the brain...He caressed your cheek. Tender. Cold. Pale now..He remembered when those cheeks were painted a pretty pink with delight and joy.

He had never even seen you angry.

His other hand balled into a fist.

"...How dare you ? How dare you make me feel like this and leave me so abruptly ?"

He asked—but no answer was given.

He had already lost a lover. He asked himself if he was cursed ? As if to answer him, rain started pouring, hiding his tears from sight.

It wouldn't be known how Hannibal Jr. cried over a mere human. It wouldn't be said...that he has a heart after all.

When the rest of the Hannibal family found him a few hours later, he was still holding your body in his arms and refused for any of them to touch it.

"I loved them.."

He admitted after a moment and the rest of the family remained quiet—knowing the weight and pain of such confession..Now, that you would never hear it.

Hannibal Jr. looked up at Hannibal Sr. and his eyes widened at the sight of his crestfallen expression, taken aback by the desperation he found in his son's eyes as the man asked—his voice trembling.

"Tell me, father..Tell me, you who has already loved and lost many times over..Does it ever stop ?"

Hannibal Sr. considered sparing his son's feelings and lie, but quickly set aside the idea. He had lied. Many times over for various reasons, but he wouldn't to his son.

"The thing about the heart is that it is double-edged, son. Their memory will remain. Forever. In your heart. The good and the bad. All of it.."

He answered genuinely and Hannibal Jr. held your body closer.

"I...see."

[separatist-apologist]

A Lost Princess Of Sunlight

Summary: Lady Elain has spent her life in the idyllic countryside wanting for nothing, so when her adopted sister Vassa begs her to accompany her to court, how can Elain say no? The roguish prince is in need of a wife and Elain, certain she'd make a terrible princess, has no interest in such theatrics.

But something about the palace brings back memories lost to the sea ten years before. Memories Elain had been certain she'd never get back…memories that speak of a colder place, and sisters long forgotten. Amid the tumultuous politics and the looming war, Elain finds herself embroiled in a mystery to find out who she really is.

And where she really comes from.

Note: HAPPY HOLIDAYS @writtenonreceipts! I hope you like this- I tried so hard to give it TOG vibes AND to incorporate nessian and feysand because you said you love them (and I in turn love you).

@acotargiftexchange

Major thanks to @velidewrites and @wilde-knight for the moodboard + beta-ing this fic when I was laying face down in a puddle of my own tears.

Read On AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

-

Elain was strangely embarrassed as she dressed the next morning, choosing her gown carefully. More maids than she’d ever seen in her life flitted in and out, presenting her with jewelry, pinning her hair, and insisting they dress her themselves. Vassa had popped in, lips stained cherry red, to ensure Elain this was not Lucien’s doing but merely the expectation of all ladies, but Elain didn’t believe her friend.

For one, the laughter in her eyes seemed to suggest an amount of fussing was the result of the smitten prince. Elain needed to be firm, to tell him she was not interested in being his wife, a princess, or even dallying while he found someone more suitable. It was just, the thought of having to look the handsome Lucien in the eye and tell him she wasn’t interested made Elain’s guts twist in knots. 

By the time she was fully dressed in a pretty dress of rosy pink, she’d managed to convince herself that the prince would tire of her once he realized how uncultured and unworldly she was. Someone would let it slip that she wasn’t of noble birth at all, that she was merely a fraud in satin and silk, and he’d turn his attention elsewhere.

And one day, when Elain had grandchildren, she could tell them how the King had once courted her for a time. It was a little flattering given Elain had taken the time to survey the other ladies surrounding her and so many of them were earth shatteringly beautiful and Lucien seemed entranced only by her. It was as if he could see no one else, even when they were standing right in front of him. 

Today was her appointment with the king. All the important families met with him upon arrival but Elain and Vassa didn’t rank high enough for that, and so they’d go today with everyone else who had been invited because it would have been rude to exclude them. Vassa was a vision in green, her bouncy curls pulled apart in individual spirals like a pretty halo around an even prettier face. 

“Ready?” Vassa whispered, her excitement palpable. Elain could not see why—Vassa was about to become a scandal and if she had to guess, the King wouldn’t appreciate it. They hadn’t spoken about it since Vassa had proposed the whole scheme, though they’d also only just arrived, too. There was simply no time for Jurian to propose. If he even wanted to. Elain had seen how Vassa spoke to him and though her friend swore he liked it…did he really? She supposed she’d find out. 

Another day, another time. The Lord was waiting for them, surveying the pair with steely blue eyes. Not finding them wanting, he merely gestured for them to follow behind. Elain fell into step with Vassa, nervous about meeting the King. In the back of her mind, something pulled like a stitch unraveling. Not a memory—not quite. But the sensation she had made this exact walk before when she was certain she hadn’t.

The feeling was like a wave, building and building with every step. No, she told herself, looking at strangely familiar paintings on walls she had never seen. No, she had never been here. And yet…there was the portrait of the dog. There was the lion shaped curtain tieback, the sentry half hidden behind a bust of some long dead queen. The doors, the gold leaf—Elain knew it before she saw it and couldn’t explain how or why. 

Only that she did and she shouldn’t. Even the smells felt familiar to her, so visceral that Elain felt like she was merely trailing a ghost—a childs memory, tripping over skirts too big while trying to keep up with the adult in front of her. She could see the hazy outline, the double doors that opened and the man she’d been staring at through portraits her entire life.

Reality crashed against memory, blending the two together. Dream Elain and real Elain merged, watching through four sets of eyes with suspicion and confusion. She curtseyed, certain she had done this all before.

“You made it,” Helion began, leaning forward in his sun shaped throne to look at Koschington. “I hope the journey treated you well.”

Koschington waved his hand. “It’s the heat that offends me.”

Helion chuckled and his beautiful wife grinned, the tension in the room diffused. Why, Elain wondered, had it been there to begin with? Had she imagined it? Perhaps the heat was getting to her, too, because Elain felt dizzy and lightheaded. So lost in her own thoughts, Elain didn’t realize the Queen had asked her a question until Vassa elbowed her roughly in the ribs.

“What?” she hissed only to realize the same eyes set in Lucien’s face were gazing at her with amusement.

“I asked how you are enjoying the capital. It’s your first time, is it not?”

No, a voice in her mind screamed. But she couldn’t prove that other than a lingering feeling they’d done this all before. Embarrassed and frustrated, Elain nodded her head. “It’s lovely. Everyone has been so welcoming.”

The King’s eyes bore a keen gleam, a politician’s smile stretched over his face. “Wonderful. If you have need of anything, please let us know.”

What an absurd offer. It was empty and they all knew it, though Elain nodded again, grateful when the conversation shifted back to the Lord, and then to Vassa and her prospects for marriage. The Queen offered a shortlist of eligible men which Koschington agreed to take gratefully while Vassa beamed, the model lady. No one offered the same for her which strangely relieved her. She’d expected it to hurt her feelings but it didn’t. 

Vassa pulled her aside the moment they were free of both Koschingtons watchful gaze and the royals, who were likely receiving some new family. “If you want my list—”

“I think I’ve been here before,” Elain began, unconcerned about marriage. “I have this memory of this specific hall.”

“Are you sure? Father said…” Vassa chewed her bottom lip, pert nose scrunched as she looked at Elain. “He never did say what village, exactly, you came from.”

“I just want to know if I’m succumbing to madness,” Elain pressed, unsure if it was even possible to know. Vassa’s eyes lit up.

“I know who we could ask. She knows everything about Rhodes.”

“Would she help us, though?” Elain asked as Vassa grabbed her hand and began tugging her down a hallway.

“Arina? Definitely. As long as she doesn’t suspect your request to be treasonous, I suppose. But it’s not—it’s just background information. And maybe we could find some of your family if we can figure out where you came from.”

Elain had to swallow the hope rising through her. It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for what had been done for her—she could have been left to rot, to figure things out on her own. Lord Koschington had taken her in and treated her well. It wasn’t a real family the way she sometimes dreamed about. People who knew her, who loved her simply for being.

Vassa came close and Elain was about to lose her to a man. 

It didn’t take long to learn who Arina was. Beautiful and blonde, with sunkissed, soft brown skin and eyes so green they looked like a mossy forest floor, Arina was a scholar in Helion’s court. The woman oversaw secrets of the kingdom, documenting them in some official capacity and maintaining records of things. 

“Tell me everything,” Arina offered, hands folded against a neat, wooden desk with a pretty, near breathless lilt. 

So Elain did. What she remembered, anyway, which was more than she typically let on about. She remembered ocean water more than anything else—she was certain at some point, she had been by the water or in it. Elains next true memory was the estate in the countryside, Vassa sitting beside her bed with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth pressed to Elain’s head.

Don’t try to move. You’ve been through a great ordeal.

“When did you say this was?” Arina pressed, biting her bottom lip.

“Ten years ago?” Elain asked, voice rather small.

Arina glanced down at her hands. “I could…review the records, I suppose. See if there were any villages invaded by Ellesmere that are mostly lost to memory. The war was all but over a decade ago…save, of course, for the invasion of their capital city.”

Elain exhaled a sigh. “You’ll look, though?”

Smiling, Arina nodded her head. “What could it hurt?”

“Thank you,” Elain breathed, relief flooding through her. This was the best lead she’d had ever. Surely there was something—a little note left stuck in another piece of paper, a letter sent off by some high ranking official that was half lost to memory. She had faith they’d get at least a name, which was enough. Even if no one was alive, there would be records of birth, graves, and places people lived. She’d have a surname that belonged to her, and even if Elain could never be whatever person she might have been had the war not touched her home, she’d at least be able to close that door behind her.

With the path behind her suddenly in view, Elain felt a little more optimistic about the future. About the prince and her promise to dine with him that day and their turn around the garden. Elain thought she might confide all this in Lucien, certain he would find it offputting. Elain was likely no one special—the kind of woman he wouldn’t look at twice if he’d ever met her out in the world. Better for him to know that now rather than later so there was no disappointment. 

That was for the best, Elain thought.

So why did she feel so disappointed? 

Striding through the misty world that comprised her home, Feyre didn’t dare look at anyone—and they didn’t dare to look at her either. Eyes cast downward out of respect, as if they wouldn’t report her movements to her father, anyway. Not that he cared. He cared for so little ever since their mother and Elain had died and Feyre’s movements were at the very bottom of the list of things he still managed to care for.

Nesta was taking more control of things as they got older, battling for control with the Nolans. How long, Feyre wondered, before the patriarch realized she was serious about marrying a foreign prince? Feyre heard them talk—they never paid attention to her, though sometimes Feyre hid in the rafters eavesdropping, too—and for the moment, it was all regarded as a young woman’s amusement. Eris and Rhysand were young, were powerful, were the kind of men a young woman ought to want.

But inevitably she’d settle for a northern born man, and they all believed that man would be Graysen. The eldest son of the wealthiest, most influential family in their kingdom, Graysen was just a given among the nobility when they thought of their figure king.

He and Nesta loathed each other. Marriages were made on less, and hatred was still a passionate emotion. Nesta refused to let Feyre teach her to use a knife—too bad. Feyre thought it would be amusing for the new King to die in his sleep.

She was merely an afterthought—the spare daughter not worth looking at at all. Too strange, too unusual, too…damaged. Tainted by what had transpired between herself and Tamlin. She had slept with him—Feyre wasn’t ashamed of that fact, though every other man at court was. Tamlin, too, given how he’d just…slunk off to the countryside. Though, perhaps his shame came from the fact that he’d used his fists to vent his anger and no one could ignore the bruises like they could the cruel words. 

She was a princess and apparently there was some standard. The horrible truth of the matter was that Feyre would have married him anyway had he asked. She would have lied anyway and married him and some part of her hated him for just walking away. He hadn’t fought for her at all. He’d just stood there, eyes burning with some emotion Feyre didn’t recognize while Nesta tore into him and by the end, he’d packed up and left and Feyre was left holding all the pieces.

No one could tell her anything anymore. Nesta knew it, their father knew it, and the rest of the court knew it, too. Feyre was wild, half animal with her bow and her trousers and her refusal to do something nice with her hair. What was wrong with a braid, anyway? Why was her only purpose to be pretty decoration? Feyre didn’t want men to look at her.

Which brought her to her current predicament. The loathsome liar King of Velaris. Rhysand hadn’t spoken to her since the night he’d invaded her tower though Feyre wasn’t dumb enough to let him catch her alone twice in the same place.

The problem was Rhysand, she suspected. He took her avoidance as some sort of game rather than a hint to leave her alone which, in turn, required Feyre to be more creative in escaping him. Go bother Nesta, she wanted to scream though that was horrible. 

Feyre wouldn’t wish Rhysand’s presence on her sister, either. 

There were places even Rhysand couldn’t weasel his way into, nor his torture master couldn’t find—if thats even what he was. Feyre had been lounging in the rafters of her fathers study, sketching the scene with charcoal only to look up and find a surprised pair of hazel eyes looking back at her.

Snoop.

She should have told her father but some small part of her wanted to see what would happen if she didn’t. Feyre would tell Nesta, though. Nesta was the true power behind the throne besides and Feyre thought it might be funny to watch her sister kill one of the kings inner circle.

Maybe then Rhysand would take the hint. 

Glancing from beneath her hood just to be sure no one was watching or had followed, Feyre pulled a brassy key from her pocket and slid it into a rusty door. No one came here anymore—it had once been the domain of her older sister Elain. Just like the ruined graveyard of Elain’s plants in the garden, this secret passage had been her sister's favorite place. Not because it was secluded—Elain had loved people and parties—but because of the way the gems glittered like stars in the candlelight. Far below their palace, fortified to keep from caving in, lay tunnels that housed natural hot springs born of the turbulent world churning just beneath their feet. It was just for their family, left abandoned by their mother and sister's death. Nesta never came.

Feyre did when she wanted somewhere quiet to sketch or think. She’d come after Tamlin, hoping the warm water would ease the sting of her face and the ache of her heart. Now, though, it was just an escape. 

Or so she thought. Because there he was, bathed in candlelight and without a shirt. Feyre froze on the bottom of the last, stone carved step staring at the violet eyed man looking right back at her. Rhysand’s surprise was evident, made worse by his obvious delight.

Ferye turned on her heel, slipping on the moisture from the steam as waster sloshed behind her.

“Wait,” Rhysand’s deep, dark voice echoed through the space. “Stay.”

Feyre slammed her knee against the sharp edge, ripping a hole in her trousers and cutting open the skin for her effort. Hissing she tried to drown the sound of Rhys hauling himself out of the water and padding toward her. Ignoring him as he crouched beside her wearing nothing but a soaking pair of shorts was far more difficult.

He was big. Muscular, with swaths of dark skin that gleamed gold, while purple and blue hues danced against the black of his hair. She wished he’d back up because he was far too close. At least he reeked of sulfur from the water—Feyre didn't think she could stand learning he was handsome and he smelled good.

“You’re hurt,” he said, the utter moron.

“Clearly,” she bit back, inching away from him. Her sole slipped on more slick stone, tipping her back. And Rhys, with cat-like reflexes, caught her easily. Cradling her against his body. Feyre found herself eye-level with whirling patterns of black inked runes tattooed against his pectorals. She should have shoved him away.

“What do they mean?” she asked instead. That was the blood loss talking because who cared what they meant?

Looking down at her with a lock of dark hair flopping against his too-bright eyes, Rhys used the hand not holding her to trace a pattern over his skin. “I could teach you the language, if you like…but this translates roughly into luck in battle…or may my enemies be the only ones who meet a sword. This one here is the story of my first kill—”

“What about these?” she asked, twisting to look at the mountains and stars inked against his knees.

“My family line,” he murmured, inching backward. “And a promise I’ll never bow before anyone or anything but my crown.”

“Sounds about right,” Feyre snapped, her good sense coming back to her. If she’d been paying more attention, she’d have noticed what he was up to before he dumped her into the opaque water before she had a chance to even scream. Oh, she was going to kill him. Rest in peace to Nesta’s dreams of revenge against King Helion because she’d never marry Rhysand.

They’d bury him instead.

Kicking off the bottom, Feyre emerged with a rage filled scream. “Prick!”

His sultry laugh made her want to drown him. Lounging in water up to his neck, Rhys grinned at her. “You look like you might kill me, Feyre darling.”

“I am going to kill you,” she swore, splashing over toward him. She had a dagger in her now sopping wet boot, easily removed so she could thrust it into his belly. 

Rhysand caught her wrist easily, fingers gripping just hard enough to hold her still beneath the water without actually hurting her. “Your father says you’re unmarriageable. Why?”

Horror filled Feyre. Had he told Rhysand that? Rhysand must have seen it on her face, too, because he gently pushed her back, releasing his hold on her body. 

“I’m not marriageable—for the record,” she hissed, not wanting to give Rhysand the wrong idea. “And I don’t need to explain anything to you.”

She turned her back on him, which was difficult given she couldn’t stand. Feyre intended to lick her metaphorical and physical wounds, climb out of the hotspring, and hide away until Rhysand left. 

“Because you slept with another man?” Rhysand guessed, the absolute bastard. Feyre turned again so fast her braid slapped her in the face.

“That’s my only value, right? My virginity? I got to decide who took it, depriving you of the pleasure of defiling me—”

“Did he hurt you?” Rhysand asked, all his amusement gone. In its place, Feyre found a kind of cold that only existed in the dead of night when even the stars were too afraid to illuminate the horror hiding below. She wasn’t afraid of him—that was ridiculous—but it did give her pause. 

“How could that possibly matter?”

“It matters to me,” Rhysand insisted. 

Stupid, she thought, but without the usual malice she felt where he was concerned. “Well, stop it. Don’t concern yourself with me at all.”

“And if I wanted to? Concern myself with you, that is?” Rhysand pressed as Feyre pulled herself from the pool of water. 

“I’d call you a fool,” she replied, not bothering to look back at him at all. 

Rhysand’s laughter followed her out of the cave. “I’ve been called worse, Feyre darling.”

Never in Lucien’s life had he not known what to say to a woman. Now, though, strolling through his mothers garden in the blistering afternoon heat, he found himself dumbstruck. Elain had carried most of the conversation through lunch, politely asking after his hobbies, his interests, and his life in the Sun Palace. 

She was just so pretty. Lucien hadn’t felt so immediately taken with a woman since…well…Jesminda. That was enough to somber him just a little, which left Lady Elain to stare down at her feet as Lucien also said nothing at all. His guilt left him paralyzed for something to say. Could he truly just…move on? Surely that meant he’d never truly loved Jesminda, and Lucien knew he had.

Was he to mourn Jesminda forever? Did she even mourn him? Somehow he suspected her new husband kept her too busy to concern herself with the likes of him. She’d told Lucien he wasn’t going to see her again…and Lucien believed her. Jes wasn’t a liar, nor was she the type to wallow in misery.

No, that was his realm entirely.

Beside him, Elain’s hand brushed his own, jolting him back to reality. “I ah…I have something I should confess,” Elain began, clearly nervous. “I want to be completely upfront with my intentions.”

“Oh?” Lucien asked, his heart immediately racing. 

“I am not a lady,” she began, the most absurd collection of words he’d ever heard in his life. Elain would have been a lady had she grown up on a farm or if she lived in the sewers far below. There was a certain quality to her, an air of refinement he didn’t think she could shake. Lucien glanced at her, waiting for her to elaborate.

“I believe my family to be quite ordinary and it was only through my adoption that I was elevated.”

“I see.”

“I think this might change things for you, which is understandable. There are so many well-bred ladies—”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Lucien asked, only half joking. “You’ll have to try harder than that.”

Color rose in her cheeks, made prettier in the golden sun overhead. “No, of course I—that’s not—”

“I’m teasing,” Lucien murmured, delighted to see her a little out of sorts. She was so lovely even as she searched for the right words—and even when those words had the potential to stop his beating heart. I’m no lady—was she spurning him, then? Lucien couldn’t stand it. “And of course you’re a lady.”

Wiping her forehead with a handkerchief she’d pulled from seemingly midair, Elain murmured, “I hardly feel like one.”

“It’s not usually so hot,” Lucien admitted, though he couldn’t pretend he didn’t like the sight of sweat streaking down her temple or the way her hair was curling tightly against the back of her neck. It drew forth several fantasies in which he might hope to see a similar sight, should he get lucky.

And Lucien suspected he’d need all the luck he could get. 

He wasn’t going to touch the lady comment—as far as Lucien was concerned, Elain was more than suitable. There was absolutely no reason to reopen that door and allow her to actually reject him. Better to charm her, he thought. What was with all the women who didn’t want to be a princess? He’d grown up hearing tales of women who longed for nothing more, but now he seemed to find every woman in the world who would rather run screaming from jewels and a crown…and him.

“Are you enjoying Rhodes besides the heat?” he dared to ask. Elain shot him a shy glance, cheeks burning pink again. Lucien was certain that wasn’t just sunshine, either.

Smothering a smile, Elain admitted, “I am. More than I expected to, actually.”

Because of me, I pray?

He didn’t dare ask. Instead, Lucien intentionally reached out his fingers, brushing them along the bare skin of her hand. Elain could have jerked away if she wanted, could have stepped further along the path to keep space and yet she did neither, though her eyes remained locked ahead of them.

Well. She could have provided no better proof she was, in fact, a lady. It was such a courtly decision—both wanting the contact while knowing better than to show it. Who did she think she was fooling? 

“Have you been in the city?” he dared to ask. Gods, but Lucien wanted to show her all his favorite places. And more to the point, he wanted to show the people who lived within his walls their potential new princess. He wanted them to see her beauty, wanted them to hear her pretty voice and see how sweet she was—and he wanted them to love her. 

“No,” she admitted, looking up at him through thick lashes and holy gods, Lucien was obsessed with her. How did she do that? Did she know? He suspected she didn’t. 

“Would you like to?” he asked, his voice breathless even to his own ears. “I could arrange a chaperone.”

He’d beg Arina to trail after them and look the other way if he managed to corner her in some dark alley where he’d kiss her until she was just as senseless as he felt. 

Elain’s brown eyes were brighter than he’d seen them. “You don’t have to go to so much effort on my account—”

“It’s no effort at all. Truly, you’d be doing me a favor. I would love an escape from the palace and the heat.”

“Is it cooler in the city?” she teased, her arm brushing his own. Lucien swallowed a shudder.

“No,” he admitted. If anything it was hotter, though he had no intention of telling her so. “But it feels less oppressive the further from the palace you get.”

“A prince who doesn’t like being a prince?” Elain questioned, more teasing in her gaze than curiosity.

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” he replied, brushing his hand against a few swaying blooms he didn’t know the names of. “I do…probably more than I should. I dislike aspects of it—like how often I am being watched and the way I feel…”

Elain waited as Lucien debated telling her the truth. It was her soft, lilting voice that spoke, “Feel like what?”

“Like a piece of meat. An object of fascination—a curiosity, I suppose. I don’t feel real.”

“They treat you better out of the palace?” she questioned.

“Yes,” he replied with a grin. “It’s hard to take a man seriously when you’ve seen his bare bottom running through the streets as a boy. There is a familiarity among us, despite the power differential. I am their son, in a way, and no one minds telling me I’ve had too much to drink and I am acting like a fool.”

Elain laughed. “How often are you acting foolish in public?”

“Too often, I’m afraid. I will try not to embarrass you but…no promises.”

This was how he did it, then. Elain was relaxed, her expression more at ease. He could show her he, too, was just another man hardly worth the worship—though perhaps worth the rest of her life. 

“So long as you don’t expect me to coddle your feelings either.”

Lucien’s body was impossibly tight, his excitement palpable. Looking down at the woman he was determined to marry, he offered her another easy smile. “Give me your worst, Elain.”

She smiled back.

“It’s a deal, Lucien.” 

Arina forgot about the Alfeldian prince until that evening when she found herself standing in the grand hall staring down two equally loathsome choices. On one end stood her father, hands clasped behind his back and eyes clear for the first time in who knew how long. Years? That, of course, hardly erased his capacity for cruelty and if he was level minded, he’d be angry that she was working rather than sitting among the ladies looking for a husband. 

He was usually too lost in his cups to notice what she was doing.

On the other end stood the arrogant Eris Vanserra, arms crossed over the blue and gold jacket he wore despite the impossible heat. Did he even sweat? She couldn’t see which was for the best—if she knew he was human, her dislike might soften into indifference when it came to him. Arina wasn’t stupid. She knew Eris would be back and when he returned, he’d be better prepared. It was doubtful that her death would mean anything to him. And he was royal, so he could make him some absurd lie that rang half true and get away with it.

Lucien might be her friend, but Eris was his mothers son and she would be collateral. 

So Arina did the only thing that seemed reasonable in the moment: she left. She had a package from Kallias, a king on the neighboring continent Nembia who was good enough friends with Helion that Arina could request something and have it sent over for a tidy sum of gold.

She wanted to see the wintry palace Kallias was rumored to live in. Wanted to see the black sand shores of Thesan to the north and the seaside palace of Tarquin. She only ever saw paintings and heard the rumors of their own problems, their warring, their petty squabbling. By all accounts, their peace was far stronger than the tenuous truce of her own home. It felt like a powder keg with too many players on the board all at once.

She didn’t want to think about it. 

Arina stepped into the warm night air, exhaling the held breath in her lungs. She had relative freedom even if it made her a pariah among her peers. No respectable man was interested in a woman so obviously smarter than him no matter how progressive Helion’s court had become. Among the nobility, they still preferred a demure woman over one who might slam her knee into his groin should he displease her.

A smile spread across Arina’s face. She had done that, hadn’t she? To a future king, no less. Lucien would have a laugh, at least, when she recounted the whole thing to him. In Arina’s defense, she hadn’t realize she was touching Eris Vanserra until it was too late, and by then, well. It wasn’t like she could walk the whole thing back. He’d have eviscerated her—he could have killed her. 

Besides, it was a little fun to see him so outraged. To have the upper hand against a powerful man just once, even if she was certainly going to be in trouble with Helion the moment Eris ratted her out. 

Those were tomorrow's problems, at any rate. Today, all Arina needed was to collect her package from the toll house and hide away until everyone was too lost to wine and parties to remember she existed. She’d track down Jurian and ask about Lucien’s shortlist and, if the ladies were agreeable, try and talk Lucien up while showing them some of the hidden gems of the city. 

And if they were awful, she’d sit Lucien down and demand to know what was wrong with him while Jurian menaced just behind, sword in hand.

The city buzzed with excitement, overflowing with people still outdoors even as the sun vanished behind the sea. She half wished she was among them, dipping into a tavern for a drink to meet someone genuinely delighted to see her. Most of her days were sent in solitude with nothing but books for company. Arina had the unique position of knowing too much about Rhodes, having read and translated things even Helion only knew existed because she had told him they did. 

The king himself would have final say over any marriage Arina ever tried to enter into rather than her father, who could merely guide the process given he controlled whatever was left of her dowry. Given the way he spent, she imagined it was paltry. Arina saved as best she could, but again.

That impressed only herself and validated her secret fear that while she desperately wanted someone to love her, she suspected no one ever would. At least she’d never find herself destitute. Not that Lucien would ever turn her out—he’d let her haunt the palace like a ghost if she wished. 

Arina made it just in time, slipping through the wooden door with a smile on her face. With a quick exchange of pleasantries, she found herself clutching the brown paper wrapped book just as the doors locked shut behind her.

She could slip down to the kitchens, grab something to eat, and spend the evening in bed reading. Arina unwrapped the book as she walked, tossing the paper into a nearby waste receptacle before flipping the gold leaf edged paper open. The book itself was a century on philosophy written by a long-dead philosopher native to Thesan’s realm. Penned in careful ink by hand and illustrated in flowing, vibrant color, the book was a dream. Arina’s heart thudded in her throat, dulling her other senses as she carefully turned random pages just to preview what she’d purchased. 

Maybe that was why she didn’t hear the muffled footsteps behind her until they were far closer than she preferred, and she was more isolated than she would have liked. The path from the outskirts of the city to the palace held nothing but an endless expanse of darkness and trees, too far from the tavern for her to turn back and not close enough to the nearest sentry to arrive if she started screaming now.

It’s nothing, she told herself, though her pace quickened as she slid the book beneath her arm. Just your imagination. Too many novels about killers.

But she swore the footsteps behind her quickened, too. Faster than her own steps, the presence behind her very real. She could practically feel their breath, their skin, the touch of their fingers brushing against her bare shoulder. 

She hadn’t brought a weapon with her. After the run-in with Eris Vanserra, she’d tossed the dagger onto her desk and spent the next two hours alternately reminding herself to breath and pacing in front of a window while laughing hysterically. 

She could do this, she told herself. She was a few minutes from the edge of the drive when that hand gripped her shoulder roughly, turning her around. A knife was pressed against her ribs, the sting of it easily puncturing the silk of her dress. It was wild, but Arina scrambled not to get away from the man shrouded in darkness, but to keep her book from slamming to the ground. 

“You’re going to stay real quiet, aren’t you?” a rough voice whispered, coming close enough there was an inch of space between their combined bodies. “And you’re going to empty out those pockets for me.”

“Here,” she whispered, pulling the little purse of coins from her wrist and thrusting it against his chest. “This is all I have.”

“What’s that?” he asked, nodding toward the book. Arina shook her head. She wasn’t going to give it to him. 

“You can’t have it.”

The blade slid easily through her skin, not so deep he punctured anything and not so hard she was in true pain, but enough to scare her. Enough to draw blood. Enough to scare a whimper from her throat as he grabbed her arm, holding her so tight she knew she’d have a bruise.

“I can have whatever I want,” he whispered, parts of his face coming into view. He was no one she recognized—a stranger who had seen her engrossed in her book and decided to hurt her. “I don’t think anyone will miss—”

Arina was yanked backward so roughly she would have fallen had she not been tucked into the arm of a familiar body. Eris Vanserra was recognizable even in the dark, a beacon of light amid the starless night. He didn’t speak, didn’t need the last word this time. Or perhaps he’d decided his blade was conversation enough given he plunged it through the would-be attackers chest without hesitation.

Blood splattered against her face, causing her to turn her cheek into his chest. She’d never killed a person. Never even seen a dead body. This was awful, she decided, unable to block out that wet, gasping breath of air, the rattling choke before the body thudded to the ground. 

Arina held her breath until there was nothing but the sound of crickets and her own erratic heartbeat. Only then did Eris relax his own body, carefully releasing her from his grip while grumbling softly beneath his breath so he could wipe the blade of his bloodied weapon on the stained shirt of her attacker. 

“You were going to die—or worse—for a book?” he snarled, rounding on her so quickly Arina stumbled backward.

“I…” She’d just assumed he didn’t realize it was her. But looking up in those blazing, amber eyes, she saw the familiar anger from that morning. 

“Are you stupid?” he demanded.

She was going to cry. Bottom lip trembling, Arina wrapped her arms around herself and whispered, “Yes.”

He hadn’t been prepared for that, but Arina found herself speechless for maybe the first time in her life. She wanted to get as far away from Eris Vanserra as she possibly could. In fact, right then, Arina never wanted to see him again. He was utterly terrifying, still holding that sword in one hand, his face a mask of unhidden disdain. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him why he hadn’t just let her die. Surely that was the best revenge for her humiliation of him earlier that day?

Eris opened his mouth to say something only to snap it closed a moment later. 

End this, she told herself. With shaking legs, Arina walked toward him even though all she wanted was to turn heel and run as far and fast as she could. Surging up on her tiptoes, fingertips grazing his jaw, she pressed a feather soft kiss to his clean shaven cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

There.

No one could ever say she wasn’t grateful.

Eris didn’t turn his head, looking down at her from the corners of his eyes, nostrils flaring like a wild animal. He didn’t speak, a small mercy. Every word that left those lips was as sharp as any blade. 

He didn’t stop her from leaving and when Arina turned to look over her shoulder, he was still standing over that corpse.

Watching her.

[phoenixtakaramono]

OPERATION BABYLON - PART VI

aka the butchlander sugar baby AU.

We have the first reader interactive poll for this threadfic! I recommend reading the update to the end (with a detailed breakdown of each choice) before making your decision.

Tumblr Navigation (note I have not shared the prologue here with its premise setup; I’ve only started sharing this twitter threadfic on tumblr starting from the 2nd 🔞 scene): I | II | III | IV | V | VI

Update Schedule: weekly/ biweekly

(You can read the rest of the threadfic update here!)

Keep in mind, all of my AU Butchlander threadfics on Twitter are the unpolished first draft versions of what’ll eventually be polished up into long fics on AO3 under the Shock and Awe series. So you may regard this threadfic as an experimental first prototype and exclusive preview whose contents may or may not be changed in the future final draft version. We’re just loosely playing around with ideas and concepts for now!

If you don’t have a Twitter account, screenshots are provided below the line break so you can read this update on Tumblr as well:

A more-in-depth breakdown of the choices:

A) Tell the truth. To avoid suspicion, Billy lays low and comes up with an excuse that he's booked for the whole day plays hard to get. It'll lead to Homelander running into "William out on a date" with another Supe—and a jealous Homelander running interference lol and sabotaging it, potentially leading to a "private tour" at The Seven meeting room and some 🔞 inappropriate office s*x ;) the setting depends if I decide to have it as a Vought HQ gala event or a Capes for Christ baptism

The payoff: a lead into the investigation The con: Billy's relationship with one of his long-time regulars is irreversibly damaged (it'll come bite him in the arse much later in the threadfic)

B) Homelander wants to be his sugar daddy. So Billy wants to test that and see if he can get our caped crusader to unknowingly fund his little CIA operation by exaggerating his rent and monthly overhead costs to tug at the hero's supposed generous philanthropist heartstrings. It'll lead to the sugar baby/daddy relationship being developed more aka a lil à la Pretty Woman-styled "shopping spree" with Homelander raining gifts on Billy's head say bye bye to Billy's CIA-assigned base, potentially leading to a 🔞 scene for "William to show him his gratitude"

The payoff: a bigger base and money for a more in-depth investigation The con: Homelander will lowkey stalk monitor him, so it'll be harder to keep his covert activities a secret from him or sneak out

C) The cute "Waiting for you :)" type of option. Billy doubles down on the act and reforms himself into Homelander's dream lover. It's tooth-rotting romantic fluff and flirty back-and-forth banter between them, but keep in mind what'll happen when Homelander inevitably realizes the "William who's literally almost perfect in every way and is too good to be true" isn't actually real much much much later as a direct consequence of this early choice.

The payoff: a happy Homelander (speedrun gaining his trust and affection by taking our bbg on dates <3) The con: the future fallout (and reconciliation) will be much more dramatic

Choose your poison! You can also vote on Twitter (link to the poll). I will add the final results together, and we’ll see which story route comes out on top.

A/N: A bit of Billy’s POV as we begin to pull back the curtains. How deep does this rabbithole of deception go? Far. Very far. Did y'all see the twist with Popclaw? Didn't expect that, did ya?

I am, by the way, open to ⚠️🔞 reader suggestions~. I make no promises that I’ll write it, but this threadfic is meant as a shameless excuse to write 🔞 butchlander spice, haha, and provide y’all some content during our butchlander drought. I have one reader suggestion thus far, and it involves candle wax. 🕯️

[evan4ever]

Hi, please could I request an angst story about Frat Kyle x fem reader where he opens up to her and vents about his mom? thank you.

Don’t Let Me Fool You

Kyle Spencer x reader

Warnings: angst, talk about Kyle Spencer’s mom in little detail so slight hint of SA from a parent, just a sad fic for our baby Kyle

—

You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, sliding your hands over the cute dress you had picked out to wear for the party that one of your friends, Kyle, had invited you to. You went kind above and beyond to look cute, hoping to catch Kyle’s attention in a more-that-friends kind of way. You couldn’t deny that you had feelings for him, but he was so busy with his frat and college that you couldn’t ever read him, you couldn’t tell if he felt the same or not. You had high hopes that tonight, maybe he’d see you and that was all it would take.

Deciding you liked your look, you left your bedroom and walked down the academy stairs where Madison stood waiting at the bottom, arms crossed and a dissatisfied look on her face. “Took you long enough. Is that… what you’re wearing?” You instantly looked down at your dress, it was simple, black and off the shoulder long sleeve. It hugged your curves nicely, though now you were second guessing yourself at Madison’s comment.

You cleared your throat and nodded, her only scoffing lightly and nodding to the door where she began walking to. “Let’s go. We’re already late. There’s a fine line between fashionably late and just late, we’re close to that line.”

You rolled your eyes but followed behind her, getting inside the front seat of her vehicle and bucking your seatbelt while she didn’t bother to, only starting the car and heading to the party. You were always annoyed at how invincible she thought she was, because yes Madison — your tiny fragile body could absolutely withstand a couple thousand pound vehicle clashing in you. Your eyes rolled again at the thought but stayed silent for the drive. You just wanted to see Kyle, that was where your focus was.

You exited the vehicle as soon as she parked it and began for the door hearing her call after you but choosing to ignore her and make your way inside the large, loud, people filled house. You slipped past the crowds of talking people while your eyes continued scanning each group and each passing person for Kyle. Now I’m the middle of the living room and still not seeing him, to decided a drink would be nice, hopefully tend to your nerves. You made a straight shot for the table full of liquor beer and other soft drinks to mix them with, deciding on a simple vodka cran and began pouring yourself your chosen drink, not realizing the outline of the body now next to you.

“Don’t you wanna mix it up sometimes?” You jumped as you felt them talk into your ear so you could hear them, quickly turning and letting out a sigh of relief when you noticed it was Kyle. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled putting his hands up in defense.

You were quick to return a smile and shook your head. “I love vodka crans” you shouted over the music. His smile only grew, nodding at your statement.

“Yeah they’re good, but have you tasted crown and sprite?” He encouraged as he began pouring himself a drink of what he had just said. You watched, smiling more to yourself than him, as he finished making his drink and sticking two small straws in. Your eyebrows shot up as he moved the drink to you, offering a taste. “Come on! I promise they’re good. I’d never lie to you.”

You gazed at him a moment before giving in and taking a straw in your mouth, sipping on the drink that happened to be delicious. You looked at him in amazement and he nodded proudly. You weren’t a huge drinker so you never really knew what was good and what wasn’t, something you had shared with Kyle who always insisted on you trying his to introduce you to a “whole new world” as he put it.

“That is really good!” You shouted as he brought the drink to his mouth and took his own sip, still nodding.

“Told ya. Can’t go wrong with crown.” He grinned, your head shaking at his goofiness. He was always so happy and positive, something you really enjoyed about him. “Come on! Let’s go find somewhere that’s not so loud?” He suggested and you happily obliged and followed him through the house closely in order to not lose sight of him among the many people. You had no idea where he was taking you, but you didn’t care. Anywhere with him is where you wanted to be.

He led you up the stairs where another less crowded living room was. Only the muffled sound of the music playing downstairs was heard and slight chatter among the maybe 3 other small groups that stood somewhere in the room. You already felt better and less overwhelmed and Kyle sensed your new, less tense state. He plopped himself down on the sectional couch immediately patting the spot next to him. Your cheeks quickly heated up at the gesture but you turned and sat before he could notice.

“These parties can get pretty crazy” he admitted, setting his drink on the side table. You nodded agreeing, taking a quick large sip from your cup before handing it to him to set next to his

“Yeah, I’m definitely not used to it.” You chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ears and looking around the room while Kyle watched you with a content grin.

“I’m glad you could make it. I was getting worried you were gonna bail on me.” He raised his eyebrows, nudging your side playfully. You giggled lightly and nudged his arm away playfully in return.

“I’d never bail on you!” You squeaked, acting offended he’d ever say such a thing. His hands shot up once again in defense before dropping and shooting you a happy smile. You tilted your head so you could see him better, returning the smile. “Promise you can always count on me.”

His smile dropped slightly at your words and you wondered if you said something wrong, clearing your throat and looking away from him. “I mean.. I just..” you began stuttering for a way to save yourself wondering what you should’ve said instead. “You know, as your friend. You can always count on me.” You nodded finally looking back at him as you practically friendzoned yourself. His eyes were staring at your shoulder, eye furrowed deep in a seemingly frustrating thought. You quickly furrowed your own in concern, lowering your head to meet his eyes in an attempt to bring him back to earth. “Are you alright?” You whispered out. “I mean… did I say something wrong?” You finally asked.

His eyes flickered from your shoulder to meet your own eyes and his eyebrows shot up as he realized he had zoned out for a moment, quickly shaking his head. “No. No! Not at all” he grinned again and you took a breath in and let it out in a relieved sigh. “Sorry. I was just thinking. I have a lot going on at home.. right now.” He cleared his throat looking away from you and grabbing his drink, taking a sip from the side rather than straws, and chugging it rather than a sip. Once it was empty, he sat it back down and let out a chuckle.

You only watched with wide eyes as he finished his what was once full drink in one go, now wondering what was heavy on his mind. You had a mental argument with yourself on whether you should ask or not, worrying he’d feel uncomfortable but worrying about his own well-being.

“Are you.. is everything.. okay?” You stuttered your sentences again but held the question firmly, gazing at him while his face scrunched up and softened before smiling again.

“Yeah yeah. No everything’s fine. Great, really.” He nodded answering your question, though very unconvincing. He was no longer meeting your eyes and you couldn’t take yours off him.

“Kyle..” you sighed quietly, “hey, you can talk to me. Really. If you want. I’m here for you.” You assured him, urging him to continue if he wanted. His body tensed up at your words and you watched as he looked around scanning the few people in the room, your eyes following his in wonder.

“Not here” he sighed out, standing up and turning to you, extending a hand to help you up. You took it and he pulled you from the couch, handing you your drink and giving you a weak, noticeable nervous smile. You decided to stay silent and let him lead you where he wanted, wanting him ti be comfortable if he decided he wanted to open up to you.

He led you down the hall and into a bedroom, closing the door and locking it. Your eyebrows furrowed at the action now getting a little nervous yourself. Not at Kyle’s intentions with you but about what was on his mind that was so big that he wanted not a single soul to hear him when he told you. You stood off to the side and only kept your curious eyes on him while he leaned against the door, his eyes closed and head up towards the ceiling. He opened them a moment later and let his head fall to the side to look at you, sending you a tight lipped smile.

“I uh, I don’t know how.. I mean.. we should sit.” He pushed himself from the door and sat on the nicely made bed, you following and sitting next to him and resting your hands on your thighs, looking down at them waiting for him to start. He let out a breathless chuckle, your head turning to him and your eyes landing on his face while he looked around the room. “You probably don’t need to know this and I’d really hate to put a weight on your shoulders.” He nodded, avoiding your gaze.

“Hey.. I meant what I said back there.” Your hand reached out of instinct and rested on one of his, his eyes falling on them and holding his gaze there. “You can tell me anything. I’m here for you Kyle.” When he said nothing and you could see how nervous, scared even, he was, it only worried you further. “Please, talk to me?”

He blinked a few times to keep his tears back, finally letting out a forced cough and looking away from your hands and to the window. You stayed quiet allowing him to collect and ready himself to open up. He knew he was about to tell you the biggest secret of his life, not necessarily his, but his moms that he had to keep. It scared him to think of how you might react, but he trusted you, and he trusted that you were there for him like you had said.

“My mom…” he lets out an awkward cough again and clears his throat, “my mom does things…” he turned his face towards you, his eyes meeting yours. You instantly realized he was holding back tears and quickly moved towards him, taking him into your arms, him allowing himself to fall into your embrace and wrapping his own arms around you, his head falling into the crook of your neck. You held so much worry at this moment that whatever you decided to do you didn’t question. You knew he needed you, and he needed this. “She does things to me.” He finished his sentence and you immediately tended up at his confession, your stomach turning with the realization of what he’s meaning and making you want to throw up, though you contained yourself and held him tighter instead while your mind replayed the words he said over again in your mind. Your eyes settled on the dresser as you sat holding him and wondering how to comfort him correctly.

You heard him sniffle and shake his head against your neck.

“She.. she does whatever she wants to me and I can’t stop her.” He let out a loud uncontrolled sob, now pulling away from you. You quickly grabbed his face before he could move too far and made him look at you, not hiding the concern and worry your face held.

“Kyle…” you breathed out and shook your head. “Kyle no, no you can stop her. You can. You don’t have to allow her to do anything to you.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head and pulled away from you, standing and pacing back and forth in the room, his hands running through his hair while you sat and watched. “I can’t. She’s.. shes my mom you know?” He laughed harshly at his own words. “She loves me and I would hurt her if I made her stop. I just let her do it and wait for it to be over. I’m not a bad guy, I swear.” He defended himself and your eyes widened when you realized he was worried that you’d think he actually liked it or wanted it or engaged in it.

“No you’re not. You’re not a bad person at all Kyle but you don’t have to keep letting it happen.” You said now standing and facing him, attempting to take ahold of his shoulders but he only pulled himself a way again and moved away from you. Your eyebrows dropped at his action. “It doesn’t make you a bad person to not want someone to misuse you.” You said slowly, hoping you could gain his trust again. He looked over at you, his eyes red and his hair messy. You could tell from where you were that he was sweating from being so worked up.

“She’s my mom.” He stated again but you shook your head and took a step closer and standing in place sure not to get too close yet. He was so scared and flustered right now, the last thing he needed was you to be overbearing. He was trusting you with this information even though it scares the hell out of him.

“Doesn’t matter. She’s not allowed to hurt you. Touching you and doing inappropriate things to you is hurting you, Kyle.”

“She’s my mom!” He repeated himself louder now in her defense. You understood that he felt obligated to defend her but it was only hurting your heart more. You knew you needed to tell him in a way that wouldn’t make her a bad person either, even though she was. She was still his mom, and he loved her even though she was fucking him up.

“Okay” you put your hands up in defense now and he took notice in it, his eyes meeting yours again. “You’re right. She is your mom. But Kyle.. this isn’t normal, okay? Your mom needs help too, just like you do for her doing these things to you. A mom shouldn’t want to do them to her child, right?” You asked hopeful and he slowly nodded, you nodding with him. “Yes. Right. So you have put your foot down in order for her to get the help she needs. Or you have to go to someone to get the help for her. Is that.. I can help you, if you let me.”

He looked away from you as his mind thought over what you’d just said. He of course knew deep down that what his mother was doing to him wasn’t okay, he he didn’t know what to do. If he helped himself, it would hurt her, and he didn’t want to hurt his own mother even though she was hurting him. It was brutal battle inside his own mind that he fought every single day.

“There’s no way to do it without people finding out.” He spoke lowly still looking away from you, your head tilting wondering what he was meaning. “I’ve built a life for myself. I’m a good kid, a great student and athlete. I mean what if getting her help ruins all of that for me!” You jumped back as he grabbed the trophy that was set on the dresser and threw it hard on the ground out of anger and hurt, the trophy breaking with a loud thud. You swallowed hard and looked back up to him. He stood now with both of his hands on his face as he completely broke down, sinking to the floor.

You slowly took a few steps towards him and lowered yourself to your knees, resting a gentle hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him. He sobbed some more and you just let him, knowing he needed to feel this to get through it. Coming to terms with knowing you need to do something if you want it to stop is a hard barrier to get over, and that’s what he was doing. The best thing you could do for him was be there while he felt it.

“God this is so..” he shook his head that was in his arms that were resting on his knees, “so fucking stupid. I can’t believe she would do this to me. I can’t believe I’ve let her for so long.”

“Why have you?” You whispered out genuinely curious and hoping he didn’t take offense to your question. When he didn’t raise his head or even move, you sighed believing you weren’t going to get an answer and deciding it was best not to pry.

“I’m moving after this year of college. I was gonna leave her and hopefully never see her again and forget all about it. But it’s hard to forget what it’s been your entire life.”

You looked down at him in surprise when he answered you, blinking a few times and nodding, rubbing his back some more. “It’s never a bad thing to seek therapy. We all need it sometimes.” You spoke gently and he finally moved his head to the side to allow himself to look at you. You could tell how swollen his eyes were already, your hand moving to caress the side of his face. He smiled lightly at your kindness, his head falling into your gentle hand. “You are not weak if you go to someone who can help you heal. It’s probably the second strongest thing you could do.”

“What’s the first?” He questioned, now sitting upright so he was level with you. You didn’t bother moving, allowing yourself to be close to him so he could really see how genuine you were being. Your head tilted to the side as your hand continued caressing his cheek in comfort.

“Making sure she doesn’t hurt you anymore.”

—

@evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap

[ssreeder]

Is it okay to ask a spoiler? (kinda, like, it's probably just for me I'm at the beginning of your fic and I'm anxious as fck 😂😂)

I'm reading LIAB (chapter Going the Distance), and loving every word of it! I'm considering it as a real book instead of fanfiction, because you're a really skilled author and I can't wait to read the whole series and become an unbearable fan annoying you!! 😜❤️🙏🏼

Anyway, while reading I can't help but wonder: during the series are we gonna see Zuko and Iroh together again? I can't stop thinking about how Zuko misses his uncle (for context, Chang just was left behind for me, so I'm a little emotional about that yet!!!) and I can't stop thinking if we get to see Iroh unleashing all his angry at Zhao once he finds out what happened to Zuko and how our boy suffered...

(Another question completely different: is there any scene in the story you would love to see draw? I actually got to know your fic because of the lovely fanarts hahah, and now I was thinking about drawing something that I read but can't decide which scene 😭😭)

HELLLOOOOO!! I had to look at the chapters to figure out which one was Going the Distance & then I realized you really are in the very beginning of the fic series haha! Well…. WELCOME! (&your anxiousness is super valid it’s a super anxious fic I’m even anxious just thinking about you being anxious lol)

AWWWWW I HOPE YOU LIKE THE ENTIRE SERIES!!! it gets a little wild in some places & super duper dark so I just like to always warn lol. heed the tags lol.

OK AYYYY so as for the spoilers: Iroh & Zuko will absolutely be reunited & it’s going to be a mess. So much will happen between where you’re at in the fic & where you’re going, that it’s hard to even explain without spoiling the entire fic! Which I will do if you want just let me know haha. but Iroh will be part of the story and I think you get an update on him towards the end of the first book & then you’ll hear about him in RIA & then they’ll be reunited in ITF. They have a long & painful journey ahead of them I’m sorry… you have quite a bit of angst to get through.

& I can promise you Iroh is going to be very very PISSED. I love me some slightly feral Iroh, especially when it comes to his nephew.

(omg omgomgomgommgggg fanart is like a proposal to me and I swear I’m rolling on the ground happily just thinking about it. But idk what scene I’d pick I really like people who create the fanart to pick because I like to see what they choose! Also you have a long way to go so maybe something will interest you?? I’m super excited either way!)

thanks for the ask I hope you enjoy reading!!

[whatacaitastrophe]

Is It Over Now - Prologue

i made a playlist for this fic because music is how i relate to everything. If the link doesn’t work, just search “is it over now?” by whatacaitastrophe on spotify.

Song Inspo for this Fic: “Is It Over Now?” by Taylor Swift

Spotify Playlist: Here

Fallon used to pride herself on being able to survive on her own. From a young age, people who knew her best would have described her as “fiercely independent.” Though, the people who knew her best also knew that she hadn’t had much of a choice. It made her jaded when it came to trusting people, especially strangers. However, the moment she was abducted from the streets of Baldur’s Gate and the parasite was forced into her eye, Fallon realized that if she planned on surviving this, she could not do it alone. 

A year later, she was standing on the docks with the closest thing to a family she’d had in over two decades, watching the sun rise over the city they’d nearly sacrificed their lives to save. What should have gone down in history as one of the very best days of Fallon’s life became the worst in a matter of moments. Of all the goodbyes she’d expected to occur over the next few hours or days, she had not seen Gale’s goodbye coming. 

Fallon hadn’t expected to fall for the man who over-explained himself, often talked too much, and had seemingly read nearly every book ever written, but she did. Gale made her feel seen. He made her feel wanted. He made her feel loved and valued. Hells, the man decided to defy his goddess simply because he’d realized that Mystra’s wrath would be worth it if it meant not only getting to live, but to live alongside Fallon for however long life gave them (which at the time, could have been mere hours with all the risks they faced).

Then the Crown of Karsus came into play, and it changed everything. It changed Gale. Suddenly, instead of being so desperate for Mystra’s forgiveness that he was willing to blow himself up, he became so certain that his destiny was to claim the crown for himself, and ascend to godhood. Fallon thought she’d managed to talk him out of the idea, reminding him that power-hungry decisions such as this one were what got him into his original situation to begin with. Unfortunately for Fallon, she had terribly miscalculated.

“Well, so much for being able to retrieve the crown with any sort of haste.” Her lover sighed as he stared out at the open water. 

Fallon noticed that Gale chose his words carefully, leaving out any mentions of returning the crown to Mystra. Surely that didn’t mean he was going to go through with his ridiculous plan? Fallon took a few steps forward so she was standing at Gale’s side, slipping her fingers through his. “At least Mystra didn’t give you a deadline to return it to her, just that it needed to be done.” She chose her words as carefully as the wizard had, waiting to see what he would reveal. 

Gale didn’t even look at her as he pulled his hand away from Fallon’s and began to pace in small circles on the docks. “If I retrieve the stones, I could reforge the crown…even wield it. With the crown in my hands, I would be unstoppable. I wouldn’t just be the most powerful wizard who ever lived. I would be a god.”

Fallon’s heart fell into her stomach as she realized her worst fears were coming true. Despite her best efforts at talking him out of the whole idea, despite the arguments she’d posed against the matter with perfect logic: Gale was not letting this go. Fallon opened her mouth to argue again, but Gale continued speaking before she could. 

“With the crown, Mystra can’t control me anymore. With the crown, I would be her equal. No, I would be more powerful than she is, which is why she does not want me to have it. But no matter. I’m done answering to her.”

Fallon could feel her throat beginning to close up as she stared at Gale. Fallon chewed on her bottom lip, trying to find the words to keep him here. “Are you sure this is what you want, Gale?”

“Want, need, deserve…choose whatever word suits you, but this is what I’m going to do.” 

There it was. The confirmation Fallon was waiting for. Gale was so far gone in his quest to control the Karsite weave that there was nothing she could do or say that would change his mind. Although they’d only been together for the better part of eight months, Fallon knew Gale well enough to know that once he started to hyperfixate on something, there was no talking him out of it. He had to figure it out on his own. It seemed that, unfortunately, Gale had not yet fully realized the consequences of his decision. 

Fallon felt the air leaving her lungs, leaving this plane of existence surrounding her as the realization washed over her further. Gale once told her she’d make a fine Three Dragon Ante player, with the way she was able to bluff her way through various situations and glean the information they’d needed to survive without ever showing her hand. Based on the look Gale gave her when he finally turned to face his lover, the woman he’d once claimed to trust and love more than Mystra herself, her usually neutral expression in the face of bad news was failing her today. 

His expression softened, and Gale let out another small sigh. “I hope you understand that I’m doing this for you as much as I’m doing it for myself. As a god, I could rule in such a way Mystra has never been able to, because she’s never experienced true humanity.”

Fallon’s mind was screaming at her to just fucking say something, anything, but the words would not come. She was too busy focusing on breathing as the rug was pulled out from underneath her, and trying not to cry in front of her friends or the man who was so brazenly breaking her heart. Instead, she stared at Gale like someone had cast a silencing spell over her.

Silence was not something Gale Dekarios had ever been able to sit with very long, so instead of asking Fallon to say something, or waiting patiently to find the words, he continued. “I hope you know that I shall never forget you. On the contrary, I imagine you’ll be on my mind every day. As a god, I can give you everything, Fallon. The moon, the stars…you name it, and it will be yours…but first I have to get there, and I need to do it on my own. I promise that as soon as I achieve what I am setting out to do, I will come back to you, and we can live among the stars for the rest of our days.”

Then, as though he were saying goodbye to an acquaintance he’d only known for a short amount of time, and not the lover he’d just promised the moon and stars to, Gale Dekarios bowed deeply to Fallon as he backed away before vanishing into thin air. 

The silence on the docks amongst her companions was palpable. Though her vision was blurring at the edges as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks, Fallon watched out of the corner of her eye as they all exchanged looks, trying to find the words to comfort the woman who’d been their fearless leader for the last year of their lives. Fallon was not even sure how long they all stood there in stunned silence. 

“Well then. Leave it to Gale to find a way to ruin a perfectly good celebration before it even begins,” Astarion huffed as he stepped toward Fallon, breaking the silence after what could have been seconds or years as far as Fallon was concerned. “I say good riddance, darling.”

"Astarion.” Shadowheart hissed. 

“What? We’re all thinking it– If Gale wants to go toe to toe with his goddess, then just bloody let him!” The vampire argued while Lae’zel simply nodded her head in agreement. 

“We all saw his conversation with Mystra through the tadpole connection.” Wyll was the next to speak, and in what may very well have been the first time he’d ever agreed with Astarion on anything. “She’s not going to take this sitting down. I had hoped Gale learned from his hubris the first time around, but I suppose the chance at being an all-powerful god was too great, even for him.” 

As Fallon’s companions began to bicker amongst themselves about whether or not Gale would deserve whatever was likely coming his way, Fallon’s mind went completely blank as the world faded around her. Her feet began moving of their own accord as she walked away from the edge of the dock and towards the city that was laid to waste by the illithids mere hours before. She’d nearly made it to the steps that led to the city when Fallon felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Soldier?” Karlach said quietly and Fallon turned to face her friend, who arguably made the biggest sacrifice of them all– giving up her body and becoming an illithid in order to defeat The Netherbrain once and for all. Of all her companions, only two of them had ever seen Fallon cry: Gale and Karlach. Though Karlach’s new form was still shocking to see when Fallon turned around, the comforting tone of her voice was what finally sent her over the edge, and Fallon collapsed into Karlach’s arms as silent sobs finally broke through and shook her entire body.

Karlach caught her easily, and though Fallon could feel her friend adjusting their position so they were sitting on the steps, nothing else was registering in her brain anymore. Not the fact that her companions had stopped arguing the moment Halsin pointed out what was happening on the steps. Not the fact that someone (presumably also Halsin) carried her back to the suite in the Elfsong they’d all been occupying together for the last several months and put her to bed. She most certainly didn’t notice that though the wizard was in such a hurry to begin his quest that he didn’t take three seconds to even kiss her goodbye, he’d made the time to come here and clear out his bunk before anyone returned. She definitely did not notice that instead of celebrating their victory, her friends took shifts at her side for the next two tendays to watch over her broken body and spirit.

No. All Fallon knew was despite the fact that she’d spent a year risking her neck to save the world, a of a sudden, it was no longer a world she particularly wanted to live in. 

Fic Master Post

[prolix-yuy]

PedroStories HallowReads Celebration 

A Spooky Salute to Writers! 

There are literally hundreds of fics out here that have stolen my heart, but here are a few of my favorites. Forgive me if I wax poetic about some of these, but I think you'll love them just as much!

For other stories I've loved, check out my fic rec tag!

🎃 Here are my recommendations for @pedrostories’ HallowReads Celebration 🎃

My favourite fanfics I read this year

Point A to Point B by @amywritesthings Description: Escorting a former Empire prisoner of war to a Rebel Alliance safe zone? It should be a piece of cake. Absolutely no problems whatsoever. My thoughts: My space sister even when she's off in another galaxy far far away (aka another fandom), Point A to Point B was one of the first Din series I read that was in progress at the time I started. Nothing made me quite as excited as giving my blow-by-blow reactions to Amy's spectacular story, and I'll come back to a few of those...ahem...firsts time and time again. The writing style is crisp and gorgeously detailed, and I love her religious Din so very much.

Lie to Me by @iamskyereads Description: A recent transfer to the DEA from the FBI makes you a target of hazing from your co-workers. Choosing to forget your bad first day at a bar puts you on a path towards meeting a new acquaintance. An expert on deception and psychological profiling, you are adept at catching liars. What happens when an increasingly stressful work environment begins to test the limits of your personal life and the one man at the center of it all, Javier Peña? Afterall, everybody lies about something. But how many are you keeping from yourself? An AU of Season 3 of Narcos My thoughts: Skye writes some of my favorite "it's canon now" stories, and Lie to Me is a shining example of what her creative mind can do with Season 3 plus an incredible reader character. I have never read a story where the reader was so different than me but also someone I'd so badly like to be that I could really imagine it to be true. Plus her Javi is so thoroughly rendered in perfect introspection I half expect scenes from the show to have Carino in the background. A must read!

Surrender by @ezrasbirdie Description: Weeks after the events in Kansas City, Joel and Ellie stumble across a woman lost in the Nebraska wilderness. With her knack for foraging and unending patience for Ellie's ceaseless questions, Daisy quickly becomes an asset on their journey. But between Joel's capriciousness towards her presence and Ellie's fierce loyalty to her guardian, she can't help but question her place with her new companions--especially when she catches Joel's gaze lingering more and more when he thinks she isn't looking. My thoughts: Listen, I know there's a lot of Joel out there right now, but this Joel? You need to read this Joel. A glorious character study of an intensely broken man finding a new start through the eyes of a complex and powerfully realized OC. There are whole chapters that have me in a chokehold, and the pain is so stunningly offset by the beauty they find in each other. One of my favorite things Birdie has written (and there are lots to choose from!)

Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried Description: Dumped and drowning in a summer storm, you duck inside a coffee shop to hide from your broken heart. Covered in plants and hand drawn images over exposed brick, it seems like a slice of heaven. The owner brings you a blueberry muffin and a promise; you’ll fall in love with him before the new year. My thoughts: How can I not mention the story I salivated over every week waiting for a new chapter? This Dieter has all of the hallmarks of canon Dieter with so much more depth and a unique twist to his character that works perfectly in this sort-of AU. Every description is lush and ripe, sensuality used to lull you into horny heaven. Gorgeously realized and a wonderful contained read again and again.

Intimidation Tactics by @whataperfectwasteoftime Description: You and your partner, Marcus Pike, are investigating a case that brings you far too close to something much more dangerous than your average art thief.   My thoughts: Penny came out of the gate SWINGING with this series. Marcus and Dave's chemistry is electric, and the three of them together weave attraction and devotion into something much more grounded and confident than I expected. Their relationship blossoms so fully I can't imagine it any other way.

Wild Abandon by @starlightmornings Description: Post-WWII, set in the Great Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina. Ezra Joe Collins came home from the war looking to hide away in the wilderness. His simple, quiet life is turned upside down when you show up in his garden, hungry and desperate, with nowhere else to go. What starts out as a grudging friendship quickly transforms into something that will knit your very souls together — but as you soon discover, such a bond comes at great cost. My thoughts: Kaylie's masterful execution of this thematic story kept me on the edge of my seat for weeks! The setting and voice is some of the most unique writing I've come across, and the threads she weaves together to make the full picture come to light had me gasping. Plus Ezra is the perfect balance of hedonistic and mysterious, just the way I like him.

Beloved fanfics with my comfort characters

First Class to Tatooine by @mandosmistress Description: You’re a flight attendant who’s so entranced by your melancholy, beskar-clad passenger that you decide to cheer him up with some first class treatment. And although the Mandalorian seems to think he can forget his woes between your legs if he tries hard enough, despair and violence seem to follow him no matter how hard he tries to shake them. My thoughts: Mari's fic was some of the first I read in the fandom and if I'm ever missing Din I come back to this story. Her young Din fics are transcendent, but I'm so in love with this post-TBOBF story and the angst she pulls out of it.

Kinktober 2022 by @chaoticgeminate Description: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you. Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it. You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet. My thoughts: Who doesn't want to live in a world where some happy accidents bring you together with Javi Gutierrez in a sexy funfest full of feelings, healthy relationship conversations, and mind-blowing smut? Plus Kelly made me almost cry several times featuring my beloved Murch in her stories and now our RCs are best friends forever.

Palomino by @fuckyeahdindjarin Description: Unable to get a refund for a week-long horse-riding pack trip you’d booked with your ex, you decide to go solo. As it turns out, a rebound with a cowboy named Jack while traversing the wild landscapes of Wyoming might just be what you need. My thoughts: Palomino is a triumph of a fic by the incredibly talented Cee that is a must-read if you like anything horsey. Even if you don't, come for the soft-spoken cowboy we were robbed of in TGC and their adventures together. Cee took so many unique turns that had me intrigued with my heart clenching at each new chapter, and the ending is truly something beautiful.

Fanfics I wish more people knew about

Calculated Risks by @pedrito-friskito Description: I took a calculated risk, but fuck, am I bad at math aka - this started as friends with benefits but you’re ridiculously good in bed and not as much of an asshole as originally thought and now I’m kind of in love with you? a saga. My thoughts: Kay's Dieter is a chaotic mess in the best way, and she pairs him with someone just as messy and perfect for him. They traverse some highs and lows together, but the love is so carefully threaded through you have to root for them.

Vibes by @mandoblowmybackout Description: Sex toys, Din Djarin, neurodivergent reader and so many feelings? What's not to love? My thoughts: The number of times I've closed my eyes and thought of scenes from this series is too large to count. As sexy as the concept sounds, the trust and care that Ash takes to give these two the love they deserve is even more exhilarating.

Kitten by @boliv-jenta Description: The reader meets Nico at a swingers party. Will he just scratch an itch or carve a place in her life? My thoughts: Liv has so many fics I adore, but the exploration of Nico as a character and how his and Kitten's experimentation grows is just masterful. Plus she gives us one of my favorite OC side characters and so many twists and turns I was gobbling up each addition the moment they came out!

Fanfics with my favourite trope/AU

Love Triangles by @littlemisspascal Description: Soulmates with Identifying Marks AU, including a ridiculous amount of pining, misunderstandings, and Dieter being Dieter. My thoughts: Rae's writing never fails to make me feel the widest spectrum of emotions. This AU is so fun and thoughtfully fleshed out, with a wild but kind Dieter, hilarious nicknames, and a soulmate twist that had me a gooey mess by the end.

Stranger At My Gate by @leslie-lyman Description: A time-traveling Pero. A modern woman trying her best. A kitchen full of possibility. A helping of Midwestern kindness. A dash of magic. And a whole lot of Christmas spirit. My thoughts: I read this around the holidays and it was the perfect treat for my time-travel-Pero-loving heart! The world Leslie creates is so warm and homey I want to live in it always. Plus big gruff Pero melting down for Tessa makes me want to cry, it's so wonderful.

A Galaxy Far Far Away by @grogusmum Description: This fic is as much a story about Din, Grogu, and Reader as it is a little love letter to an old home of mine, during an idyllic time in my life. As with most authors, there are characters who are a reflection of them, and that is certainly so for reader characters in fics. And it is so here, but only a little, but the cottage, the town, the festivities are directly from life. I hope they come across kind of like characters in their own right. My thoughts: Every time I get a new piece of this story it melts me again. The love in this is quiet and gentle, and Grogu is a sweet little menace we adore. The slow growth of love is truly the star, and I'll forever want to live in this town with a big teddy bear of a man and his mischievous son.

The Language of Flowers by @lowlights Description: You’re the only daughter of a wealthy Victorian family living in the countryside. The head gardener, Din, catches your eye and your heart. A series of clandestine rendezvous put both of your futures in jeopardy. One question persists: could you ever truly be together? (A Din Djarin AU) My thoughts: Gardener!Din owns my heart, my nethers, a large piece of my brain. The Victorian vibes are off the CHARTS, and while there's the looming doom of their secret relationship always present, I still fall back in love every time.

Fanfics I NEED to read

A Girl Walks Into a Bookshop by @oonajaeadira Description: Set a couple of years after the events of the film. Ezra owns a bookshop. You walk in. My thoughts: This has been on my TBR forever and I feel like I need to set aside a day to just binge it. I know it'll make me soft. I know it'll give me all the feels. I just need to prepare myself for it, preferably with a warm drink and a cozy corner to melt in.

Meant to Be by @radiowallet Description: Oberyn Martell has spent his life as a second-born prince enjoying all the pleasures that Dorne has to offer, staving off any notion of an arranged marriage under the guise of searching for his soulmate. But after defeating The Mountain and avenging his sister's untimely death, Oberyn returns home to his brother still without a true heir. And so Doran states his plan: To name Oberyn Lord of Sunspear and have him take a wife, soulmates and lovers be damned. So what happens when the fates of Westeros send him an independent and troublesome woman from the north that just happens to fit the title of both bride and soulmate? Which feelings does one bow to? To bend or to break? And what does it truly mean to be meant? My thoughts: Cat's unique take on a Soulmate AU with an unlikely Pedro boy has been tantalizing me for months! And to hear her say that it's one of the formative stories that's developed her unique voice just makes me want to read it more!

Clean Sheet by @haylzcyon Description: Former FBI agent turned tortured crime-author Marcus Pike has never gotten the hang of complacency. The weight of monotonous days stuck writing a loveless character into predictable plotlines is heavy - but he finds ways to shoulder it. Newly divorced and the owner of a print shop where Marcus orders copies of his working drafts, a slip-up in order packaging sparks a fast blooming friendship between you, and reveals a side to Marcus that you've only dreamt of. My thoughts: AUTHOR MARCUS AUTHOR MARCUS I know this is going to get me yearning and I cannot wait for him to meet-cute his way into my heart.

Like a Moth to the Flame by @the-scandalorian Description: monster!Din, sort of a dark Beauty and the Beast AU My thoughts: Oh god. Oh godddddd. Monster!Din. I can't. I need a minute. I'm gonna be such a problem after this story and I need to be ready for that. I'm looking so disrespectfully at this story Simone.

Thank you to each and every writer who's on this list (plus dozens more) and whose words are forever imprinted in my brain, for better or worse. Happy Spooky Season!

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 26

welcome to the twenty-sixth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. suite on you by @adelfie

Lance feels a little jarred when he sees nothing friendly in the suitemate’s eyes, and then foolish. He scrambles to find something to say. “Do you have any rules?" Keith’s eyes darken. “Yeah. Don’t bother me this semester. Or ever.”

-- Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

(Or, 5 times Lance bothers Keith and 1 time Keith lets him.)

any fic that uses the Lance is a Ray of Sunshine tag is a fave of mine bc he is. i loved how in this one keith called lance sweet, not like an adjective but as a petname?? anyways it killed me and it made lance melt as you might have guessed. i loved it

2. Shiro, You Ignorant Slut by notverystraight

“I like Keith,” Lance blurted suddenly.

Shiro blinked. “Oh.” Not exactly the revelation he’d been expected. “He likes you, too.”

- In which Shiro accidentally reveals Keith and Lance’s feelings for each other… without even knowing about them in the first place.

god bless fics that write shiro as the dorky dumbass he is. he WOULD be the one to spill the beans without knowing that there are even beans to be spilled. i love him

3. Escalate by demonsushi01 [EXPLICIT]

Day 15. Flustered

5 +1 Fives times in which Lance is flustered by Keith during their relationship, with it steadily shifting from more innocent things as it continues. And one time in which he gets back at Keith.

this mostly isnt explicit, its mostly just klance turning their relationship into a competition lol. they also spend a significant amount of time embarrassing their friends which is excellent

4. Part of Your World by @floranna

Keith sat at the dock, glaring at the water, wearing only his speedos. It was a bright, warm, and sunny day, with slight enough of a breeze to keep the worst of the heat away. Not like Keith cared or anything like that, of course, but…

Everything spelled that it should have been a beautiful, wonderful day, full of wonderful memories, if only that sharp-toothed half fish would actually show up!

happy belated mermay my loves <3 you want klance? teasing and soft and domestic? monstertron? lance with very sharp teeth? keith being very into lance with very sharp teeth? one stop shop babey

5. Hunk’s List of Grievances by @littlecinnamonbunny

Honestly, Hunk deserves better.

or

Five times that Hunk thought he walked in on Lance and Keith doin’ the hanky-panky, and one time he actually did.

this fic made me LAUGH. like literally out loud. let me introduce yall to my favourite part:

And that’s when it happens.

A familiar gloved hand comes into view, pale fingers pushing back Lance’s fringe with a soft groan, and Hunk realizes that Lance's mouth is currently preoccupied and will not be able to respond. But it’s too late because Hunk’s already opened his own mouth to speak.

“Hey Lance, Allura wants to– hoLY F- oh yup okay that’s definitely a dick, goodbye I’m gonna erect myself out of- eject! - eject myself out of the airlock now.”

He turns on his heel and speed walks the fuck out, and even Yellow is sending him questioning concern that tingles the corners of his mind (though it’s tinged with amusement, the filthy traitor) and he ignores Lance’s choking and coughing and swearing.

He also chooses to ignore Keith’s mortified cry of his name along with “wait-!” because no Keith, why the fuck would he wait?!

‘Oh sorry, let me just pause in my desperate attempt at fucking off for a moment so you can remove your genitals from the back of my best friend’s throat and try and convince me that your penis was checking for cavities’.

like holy shit 😭😭 words cannot express how out of pocket this whole fic is like i genuinely cannot read it without smiling

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, today we have a rec list of fics where Louis or Harry suffer from some kind of addiction. These fics feature drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and/or other triggering topics, so please read all warnings before choosing to read. If you enjoy our rec lists, please be sure to like and reblog this post to help spread the word.

1) The Sucking Method | Explicit | 2,668 words | Full Series

Note: While the first fic in this series only has blowjobs, the other three have BL smut.

Louis tries to quit smoking, but none of his methods work. Harry comes up with a new idea that involves lots of sucking.

2) Lonely Lullaby | Explicit | 12,443 words

"Louis is obsessed with amphetamines and Harry is the only one who can get him. However, the thought of seeing him die of addiction seems terrifying."

3) What Are You Waiting For (Someone Could Love You More) | Explicit | 20,316 words

Louis is a famous singer with a lot of buried demons. His demons are dug out.

4) Captain Jack | Explicit | 31,725 words

Louis has been searching for something and Harry is there to give it to him. Drugs, sex, disappointment, and the tangled web they’ve woven that keeps them trapped in the same cycle.

5) Smoke Between Your Teeth | Explicit | 37,015 words

Louis tries to stop his addiction to cigarettes and discovers he's been addicted to Harry for much, much longer.

6) Falling Into Place | Explicit | 40,737 words

Louis and Harry spend nine years apart but inevitably find their way back to each other.

7) I Really Fucking Hate You | Mature | 83,328 words

Harry really fucking hates Louis. Louis really fucking hates Harry, kinda. Two boys from two separate Mafia’s are forced to meet somewhere in the middle. Louis is burdened with a child and Harry is burdened with Louis.

8) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Explicit | 102,528 words | Sequel

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

9) Burn To Ash | Explicit | 116,004 words

Harry is sitting there, so fucking casual, and Louis realizes in a split second he was not ready. When Harry walked out in Detroit and never looked back, he was a boy verging on a man, still only twenty years old, but there's a man in his place now. Hard and resolute, yes, but still, for the first time in a long time, Louis can kind of see the old Harry in him. The soft, directness of his gaze, the hesitant smile he gives to Lou, the way he wrings his ridiculously large hands in his lap. He's a little bit the eager sixteen year old puppy dog again, his innocence and sweetness resurrected miraculously, and Louis freezes in place. He was prepared to face the asshole Harry. He was prepared to meet a whole new Harry. Louis is not prepared to meet one of the old incarnations of Harry, and it absolutely tears him up.

10) And I Wait For Paradise | Teen & Up | 209,547 words

Somehow, as the delirious jeers ricochet around in his skull, Harry’s mobile slides in his clammy palm. Desperate the intensity does not faze his vision as he keys, ‘do you still believe in forever?’ On fire, twitchy and a mess, the Alpha blacks out. It’s only hours into emotional asphyxiation Harry reads the response, ‘I still believe in you.’ Just like that Harry breaks away from the infinite shards of addiction. Dry heaves, “I’m not ruined, I’m not ruined,” into the darkness until he’s not the only one who believes it. 

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.