#anna is my therapist

[actual-changeling]

a little life update for those who care but also i use tumblr as my diary so there's that. if you don't wanna see personal stuff just blog the tag and you're good

for those not up to date on my family background: father - shitbag, mother: probably narcissistic, both abusive and also divorced. i live alone thank god. sister - just as mentally ill as me.

ive been living alone for two years now and most of that time was spent trying to do college, juggle my relationship and try not to fall apart with all my trauma and disorders trying to crush me to death. as expected, that did not work out. ex is an ex, i am doing horribly, and this is the first time in my entire life that i can catch a break and have nothing to do.

problem: college.

bigger problem: attempting classes right now has a good chance of landing me in a psychward and/or dead because i cannot handle stress, full and complete burn out and major depressive episodes while my body and brain attempt to somehow process 21 years of intense debilitating trauma.

my emotional stability is non existent, i crack like an egg under the slightest pressure, and there is so much happening in my brain i wouldnt even know where to begin untangeling that bitch.

i am on meds, i see a wonderful therapist, who also suggested i just. take an empty semester so i can have a break. did i almost break down crying today? yes. yes i did. she was very concerned but it's all good now. i think anna has a point because the pure thought of college is making me want to cry until i throw up. im breaking apart and trying to keep myself together with tape and glue and i dont even know if thats the best way to go about it. maybe i just need to fall apart and see what happens then, who knows.

im tired of life. im exhausted. so bone deep exhausted it's like a giant weight pulling me down with every single thought breath or movement. i have always been this exhausted, literally since i was a toddler. no one has been able to fix it yet. im just tired. i just need everything to stop and i need to fix myself. no idea how that will ever happen though so you can imagine that my current outlook on uhhh existing isn't too great

im tired. i keep trying. im still tired. that about sums it up.

[rat-prophetess]

Pathologic Classic HD + text posts, part 2 (part 1 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5) [pathologic 2 part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4/ part 5 / part 6]

Sorry not sorry.

[ne-spivay-ranenko]

so maybe the bad news is that I cried at work today because something reminded me of a bad event from the past, but the good news is that I channeled it into finishing a song? gonna record the demo this weekend, no idea if it's any good as a song because it's really just me pouring out some anger, but it's therapeutic in a way

[marciliedonato]

THEY WANT ME TO PRESENT MY THESIS NEXT WEEK??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHAT THE FUCK

[woozapooza]

Unpopular Sopranos opinion: I know a lot of viewers hate Dr. Kupferberg, and I understand it to some degree, but I simply cannot bring myself to hate him. He is often arrogant and tactless and hypocritical, and what he does in “The Blue Comet” is both ridiculously unethical (revealing information a patient told him in confidence–about her own patient, no less) and pretty cruel (humiliating Melfi in front of her colleagues)...BUT he’s the one who commended Melfi on her “tremendous strength of will and inner resource” (“He Is Risen”), AND he’s the one who countered Richard’s victim-blaming (“The Weight”), AND I really believe that part of his motivation for trying to pull Melfi away from Tony was genuine concern for her. In 5x01, for example, when she’s trying to figure out how to let Tony down gently and he’s encouraging her to go to the police, it seems pretty clear to me that he’s truly concerned for her safety, and I can’t fault him for that, even if that genuine concern is intertwined with and ultimately drowned out by his arrogance. 

And you know what, while I’m at it, here’s a REALLY unpopular opinion: I like his absurdly large water bottle. Yeah, that’s right, I said it! The water bottle haters simply cannot fathom the level of hydration that he is on.

[boimgfrog]

my toxic trait is that i think im the worst person in the world and evil and terrible n then i also think im the hottest coolest human alive and everyone wants to fuck me. i call it the cartoon villain complex

[semperlitluv]

do you think Krysta would consider the unhinged chat a healthy dynamic

I think she would consider it a dynamic, for sure.

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah]

Oh god motherfucker PLEASE get it together your life is going so well right now please don’t ruin it

[actual-changeling]

*shows up to therapy covered in blood* yeah i'm having a great week

[avocadocomptroller]

30 day thinspo challenge, day four: greatest fears about weight loss

okay so on a superficial level i'm super nervous about losing muscle tone, damaging skin/hair/nails, etc but on a deeper level i'm terrified that i won't be able to maintain anything that i *do* lose and that i'll be trapped in an endless binge-restrict cycle like i am right now.

[fluasch]

Suffered one of the worst episodes last week. My social phobia and depression was on an all time high, I had one continuous anxiety attack while grocery shopping and avoided all human contact since last Thursday. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, I just moved from my bed to my sofa and back to my bed. It hasn’t been this bad since I was like 16. Avoided all Uni work, mind you I had to concentrate on breathing.

Today I had to go to Uni, and getting there was absolute hell. Dissociated all the way through it. But 20 minutes into my course my heartbeat finally calmed down and I could see again. Feels like I’m coming up for air.

Anyways ignore this lmao I just wanted to write this down. Take care!

[lizard-fashion]

Where Is The Next Hyperfixation

[marciliedonato]

I was supposed to have my best friend over tonight to fix my Asuka wig but these mfs said they were gonna deliver it on Friday but then decided to try on Thursday instead and there were like 2 other people home and my dog who barks at every unknown car and when they couldn't do it (I'm convinced they didn't even ring bc the bell is almost always on ?) they just left it at this fuckin bricolage store at the opposite extreme of town (like the entry and I live by one of the roads you leave town) that I haven't gone to in like 16 years bc my dad bought tools there and I can only go pick it up on Monday bc I have no excuse to leave my house let alone go that far and the weather is lowkey shit until Tuesday and she's only here on weekends and the con is next Saturday I don't even know how to put on a wig or own a pair of scissors that can be used to style it bc the bangs are gonna be too long and I can't be trusted with scissors either lol so it's just gonna be me and my fuckass wig next Saturday I don't know if we can 'Gaslight gatekeep girlboss' our way out of this one girlies...

[dabideserveslove]

I’m very sorry for your loss and hope that you and your family are doing okay. ❤️

Thank you - I really appreciate it <3 and we're doin' okay now <3 it was just a lot all at once bc my youngest had just turned 1, too, when that happened so I wasn't really able to start processing it right away.

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Gabby Deutch

When someone posted in a private Facebook group for Chicago therapists in March, asking whether anyone would be willing to work with a Zionist client, several Jewish therapists quickly responded, saying they would be happy to be connected to this person. 

What happened next sparked fear and outrage among Jewish therapists in Chicago and across the country, and illuminated the atmosphere of intimidation and harassment faced by many Jews in the mental health world who won’t disavow Zionism. Those who replied, offering their services to this unnamed client, soon found themselves added to a list of supposedly Zionist therapists that was shared in a group called “Chicago Anti-Racist Therapists.”

“I’ve put together a list of therapists/practices with Zionist affiliations that we should avoid referring clients to,” Heba Ibrahim Joudeh, the document’s author, wrote. (A request for comment sent to the practice she runs with her husband did not receive a response.) The administrator of the anti-racist group chimed in, praising the list as a way “to be transparent about clinicians who promote and facilitate White supremacy via Zionism.” The comments came quickly: “Amazing, thank you,” one person wrote. “Omg a place I was looking at is on here,” another wrote, with angry emojis. 

The only trait shared by the 26 therapists on the list is that they are Jewish. “When I saw this whole list created and my name on the list, I was so confused and in disbelief about how, in 2024, this is considered OK. It was a list of Jews,” said Anna Finkelshtein, a licensed clinical social worker in Chicago who immigrated from Russia as a child. “I do not post publicly about the conflict or about Israel at all, ever. It feels like the only way to feel safe as a Jew in the mental health field is to publically speak out against Israel and condemn it and call it a genocide.”

The anti-Zionist blacklist is the most extreme example of an anti-Israel wave that has swept the mental health field since the Oct. 7 Hamas terror attacks and the resulting war in Gaza, which has seen the deaths of thousands of Palestinian civilians. More than a dozen Jewish therapists from across the country who spoke to Jewish Insider described a profession ostensibly rooted in compassion, understanding and sensitivity that has too often dropped those values when it comes to Jewish and Israeli providers and clients. 

At best, these therapists say their field has been willing to turn a blind eye to the antisemitism that they think is too rampant to avoid. At worst, they worry the mental health profession is becoming inhospitable to Jewish practitioners whose support for Israel puts them outside the prevailing progressive views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“The goal in therapy is to provide compassionate care to whoever walks through your door,” Dean McKay, a professor of psychology at Fordham University, told JI. “As part of our training — I don’t remember in my own training, and it’s not the way that I train anybody else, to ever say, ‘Look, here are the people who are worthy of our care.’”

“We all worried that it could get this bad, but I don’t think any of us were actually expecting it to happen,” said Halina Brooke, a licensed professional counselor in Phoenix, Ariz. Four years ago, she created an organization called the Jewish Therapist Collective to build community among Jewish professionals and raise the alarm about an undercurrent of antisemitism in the field. “Once Oct. 7 hit, we’ve all been in crisis mode since literally that morning, and the stories that have come in from colleagues and about their clients have been horrifying.”

*****

The antisemitism problem in the mental health profession is more than just workplace gossip. Jewish therapists — and Jewish clients — worry about how the growing anti-Israel orthodoxy will show up in clients’ sessions, and if it will affect their care, especially at a time when more people than ever are seeking therapy. A Gallup survey showed that in 2022, 23% of American adults had visited a mental health professional in the prior year, compared to 13% in 2004. 

[blatantlynotokay]

Being An @na Mom

I feel like having Anna has not changed me much as a mom. Many a therapist and mutuals have always been worried about how my @na affects my children.

Yes I keep snacks in the house (see photo) my children have their own access to the snacks and are able to get snacks at anytime with the day they wish to. Majority of the snacks are organic or relatively healthy such as chips, organic fruit bars, and organic applesauce pouches. As for their meals, I typically hand make all of their meals. Breakfast can look like pancakes and eggs or maybe turkey bacon and oatmeal. Lunch can be a homemade non-processed peanut butter and homemade jelly sandwich. And typically for dinner we have some sort of chicken and veggies or fish and veggies. Dinner is usually the only meal that I eat the food with, but I don’t think they’ve ever thought that was strange that mommy doesn’t eat exactly what they eat because they never really eat the same thing anyways. I know this can seem like a lot that I make three different dishes for every meal But I never really find it tedious and everything’s quite easy to make.

I tried to make sure that my children have a very healthy relationship with food. I never try to restrict in anyway, shape or form. Some days they want fast food or pizza for dinner and I never really tell them no unless we’ve had that the day before. I still let them. Typically, I do not eat what they eat for dinner. I will just make something else and I don’t think that they’ve ever thought that it was weird or strange that mommy doesn’t eat pizza or McDonald with them. They’ve always just accepted that that’s how things are. And my oldest knows that I have various health concerns and can’t eat typical foods. I have a gluten intolerance and pcos. Which, even if I wasn’t, Anna would stop me from eating certain foods.

I tried to create a different environment then what I grew up. My entire life my parents had always been obese. Not just slightly overweight, but medically considered obese. it was always so interesting though because my parents would never let me eat snacks or sugary cereal and essentially we had an ingredient household. my parents were never home once I started elementary school. They would often tell me to feed myself, but in an ingredient household as a five-year-old I would typically just end up eating a slice of bread. They wouldn’t come home for dinner often so I would end up eating very little throughout the day. They never packed my lunch or gave me money for lunch so I typically never ate at school (this was a time before school had free lunch). Not eating was just a normal thing for me in my childhood so I always try to make sure that my children always have access to food and are well cared for.

Another angle that people often attack me from is if I would become like Mrs. Hadid and her handful of almond. And personally, I don’t think that I ever would. I know that children will eat exactly how much they need to eat in order to fuel their body. I try to teach them healthy eating habits, such as if they’re bored to lean towards fruit or vegetable over processed food. While they are still very young 6 & 3 I don’t see myself changing this mindset. I grew up starving I know what it’s like to starve. I know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep because your stomach hurts so bad. I never want that for my children. I honestly never want that for any of you reading this. But here we are.

I’m always pro recovery. Block don’t report