#any basically nothing happens as a result except that people like me just have to deal with it

[babypanther95]

One of my first experiences, upon no longer being in Israel and returning to my regular job as a teacher, is a student leaving a note in my classroom that says "Ms. --- is a Jew. No Jews. Hitler to come back." So you know. Really wish I was still in Israel or at least wasn't the only Jewish person at the school (teacher or student). By the way, I teach 6th grade...

[rederiswrites]

I don't see how trump turning America into a christofacsist state is any different than the norm? like it's been like that for native and black people since it's creation like we inspired the nazis in the first place so like what the point? oh trumps gonna kill everyone who isn't a white cis male! and? that's what america's best quality since day one

Okay I'm actually going to respond to this Edgelord Supreme bullshit, because as absurd as it looks written out like this, I actually do think a lot of people are feeling some half-articulated version of this despair and cynicism. Let's kick that in the ass.

First, let's get one thing straight. History has been terrible awful bad always and forever. There have been a thousand genocides and a million wars and a billion brutal, inhuman war crimes. Back in the days of the earliest civilizations, wiping out entire cities when you defeated them was basically just how things were done for many societies. The fact that we have international laws and international bodies of justice, however obviously toothless they remain, is the result of thousands of years of extremely mixed progress.

So at this point, you pretty much have to say either that a) humans are an incurable blight and don't deserve to live, or b) that we've done amazing, beautiful things and experienced billions of moments of happiness and created art and fallen in love despite all this, so we're still worth working on. Personally, I am very strongly in camp b. I see things worth living for a hundred times a day. There's really no comparison.

Second, the USA is not uniquely bad. It is terribly damaging to people both within its borders and all over the world. It is build on genocide and slavery. Many of its foundational institutions are deeply corrupted by these things. And guess what, that's uh....pretty common. No, really. The US is currently a big fucking problem. It's our turn with the big stick, for sure. But even then, we're not alone.

So how the fuck is this encouraging? It isn't. I'm not encouraging you, I'm telling you to fucking GET GOOD, because when you say shit like the above, what I hear is "Oh I SEE, I'm a TERRIBLE PERSON I guess I should just kill myself to make your life easier." I hear someone who would rather give up and call their country morally bankrupt and irredeemable than to PUT IN SOME FUCKING WORK.

Cynicism is so comfortable. It doesn't ask anything of you. "It's always been like this," it says. "Nothing's going to change."

Except things do change, and things have changed, and your entire premise is in fact absolute dogshit. The two presidential candidates are not remotely the same, and we are not, yet, a Christofascist nation. I could, as many before me already have, enumerate the million concrete ways in which your premise is just not true, but honestly I won't bother, because it's not a premise in good faith. What I mean by that is that even a cursory examination of the actual facts would totally trash your expressed beliefs, so you're not really interested in the facts.

Change for the better can happen. Change for the better has happened. It's just not as EASY as you want it to be. There are more steps. For example, you can't have viable independent candidates until you have campaign finance and voting reform. So you have to push for those things. For years, probably decades. Many people have died without seeing the realization of things they fought for, and yet those things have come to pass. You may die fighting the good fight and not see the victory. I may too. Meanwhile, you make the choices that will hopefully get the fewest people killed.

So stop acting like we're all just too shitty to bother about, and put in some fucking work.

[lobotomyladylives]

Women are at least equally as likely as men to initiate DV. 40% of victims in a DV study in America were men. Women are at least as likely as men to abuse their children and are the perpetrators in at least half of child maltreatment cases. Lesbian couples also have the highest rate of DV -- 44%, compared to 35% of straight women and 26% of gay men.

Lol it just so happens that I have my criticisms of most of these basically memorized because as always you have nothing to offer except for regurgitating the same braindead talking points MRAs have been using for years without bothering to think critically. I'm on the train so I have some time but just know that you are getting boring again, be careful or I'll stop throwing seeds into your enclosure when you bang the bars and I know when that happens you're going to try to kill yourself by taking your entire Cialis prescription at once

So this should be obvious but there are tens of thousands of small IPV studies with wildly varying rates of self reported abuse from both men and women, making them unreliable, and the 40% stat falls into this category. This is literally the definition of cherry picking. Why not cite one of the other small studies that comes to the conclusion that women are over 90% more likely to experience IPV than men? Survey based studies, especially those with a low sample size, are notoriously unreliable, hence the massive difference in results.

"At least equally likely to initiate" this one isn't even worth addressing because you provided no actual data that would allow me to identify the study you pulled this from (since you didn't bother to cite any sources as usual) + the language you use is opinion based. "At least" is a term no one with hard data needs to use. Sorry, I know MRAs don't question anything as long as it works with their confirmation bias but outside of your bubble of maladjusted male market failures you can't just say "Women Bad" and have people applaud you for your intelligence & wisdom. You have to back it up.

Women are far more likely to be the sole parents of children due to men abandoning their offspring so often. Adjusted for that (which is the only way to get reliable data, using maladjusted stats to make a claim like this in an academic setting would literally get even an undergrad laughed out of the room), men are in fact more likely to abuse their kids-and far more likely to sexually abuse them even /without/ adjusting the variables, which is alarming.

The "lesbians abuse more!!1!" bs is well known to be a limited & misleading "study" that no reasonable academic would ever cite due to it contradicting better studies that have much more reliable metrics. And you didn't describe it correctly, either-it's not a percentage of couples but rather a percentage of people who identify as lesbians, straight women, straight men (notice how you left them off your list, wonder why?), or gay men who have experienced IPV at some point in their lifetimes. Not each individual relationship. Which should be obvious lol lik or course almost half of lesbian couples don't beat each other, & neither do 2/3rds of straight couples (which would be required for both men and women to have a combined ~70% rate within each couple which is the way you are presenting this misinformation). Plus, many lesbians dated men as teenagers or young adults due to comphet so even if the stats were reliable, due to the nature of the questions used in the survey they're still potentially misleading bc the identity of the abusers is not specified, just the identity of the victims.

By FAR the most relevant source that we have when looking at population demographics of IPV are the crime stats for the most severe forms of abuse. It's the most reliable way to get this data as it's solely based on hard evidence, not just self reporting, and also it's the largest sample size you can possibly get by far-the entire population of the world. Men are almost TEN TIMES more likely to hospitalize or murder their partners as women are, and again that is the kind of data that is impossible to fabricate due to the scale of it. But sure, ignore that and keep citing poorly conducted studies based on low sample size self reported surveys, the weakest form of scientific "evidence".

Something else worth noting when talking about male violence against their female partners is that the number one cause of death for pregnant women is being murdered by the father of the child. It's more common than the top 3 most common obstetric causes combined, in addition to shadowing any other COD that is normally far more common than homicides among adults. But sure, feminists are just being hysterical when we talk about male violence, right? Let's just call women crazy and paranoid until they're murdered, then we'll call them stupid & say they should've been more careful about picking their men.

Anyways, I know that all of this probably went over your head because I used language the average eight grader would understand instead of language the average paleolithic toddler would understand, let me rephrase for the intellectually underprivileged: u wrong lol

[eighthdoctor]

i would love for you to talk about war crimes vs atrocities :chin-hands:

so i'm gonna talk extremely dispassionately for a bit about wars and why we have them before zooming in on gor specifically.

a war is a way to solve a problem.

sometimes the problem is "i'm a bag of dicks and think my country should have more territory" but still. a problem.

usually (unless you are a bag of dicks) a war is not your first approach to problem-solving, because wars are expensive on every possible level. financially. logistically. the longer your war goes on, the less your people like it--fewer willing troops, and also greater risk of getting overthrown and replaced by someone else. you're going to have food problems sooner or later. much easier if you can solve your problem some other way.

so: wars not typically the first solution to the problem.

however a war isn't one-sided. there's someone else here. and with some NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS which all are war crimes for reasons i'll get to, the other party ALSO needs to agree that a war is the best solution to the problem of "someone just invaded me". (as opposed to, say, surrendering.)

ergo: wars (and all fights) are between two (or more) parties who have both agreed this is happening.

you don't need a discussion beforehand, you don't even need to be able to speak each other's language. but if someone at the bar pulls out a knife, you have options other than jumping them. if you DO jump them you have now agreed it's fighting time.

okay so what about that surrendering option. in a bar yes, there are many options other than "fight or give up", but if someone has lined up their army on your border, you really are down to (1) fight, (2) unconditional surrender, (3) negotiate.

#3 requires us all to come to some basic agreements but it's also frankly the most common. MOST instances of country-level posturing do not result in war, they result in another treaty.

#2 (and also #3) can happen at any point after #1 starts. (tbf, it's also possible to start negotiations and then go nah bro, fuck you.) but let's say we start fighting, then go "wait shit, actually we can't win this".

in order for surrendering to be a good option here, the consequences of surrender have to be better than continuing to fight.

this is the root of most war crimes, not geneva.

because let's play out some warcraft scenarios (and put in a cut):

scenario 1: I surrender to the swarm of zombies overrunning my country. this does nothing to change the zombie behavior bc the Lich King is nuts, and we all get killed anyway. the NEXT country over watches this and goes "ah, no surrender then" and fights to the bitter end, making the conquest so much harder than if surrender had been an option.

this is why even a powerful army respects surrender--sure, you'd only lose 1-5% in the battle, but why lose even those when you could lose 0%?

scenario 2: I "surrender" to the orcs but don't really mean it, the moment they let their guard down I reveal my secret weapons/magic/whatever and slaughter them all. unfortunately the rest of the Horde is watching, now knows we cannot fucking be trusted, and next time an Alliance force is outnumbered, the surrender is not respected and we're back to scenario #1.

(scenario 2.5: I wear a recognized neutral flag such as the red cross in order to gain access to the enemy's base of operations and conduct sabotage. the enemy now refuses to let the red cross enter their zone of control. if this gets bad enough, forces may start shooting the red cross on sight. this is why using the red cross is a war crime.)

okay back to azeroth.

scenario 3: I don't fucking trust orcs, even when they've surrendered to me, so I'm going to slap them all in camps and keep them on starvation rations. I'm shocked and appalled when I learn that the orcs are now doing the same thing to our surrendered forces, and pitch a fit when my commander tells me to shape the fuck up.

a lot of war crimes boil down to "if I do it to them, they're gonna do it to us" and drawing a line based on palatability of that. If we mistreat our POWs, they're going to mistreat theirs--and as established before, surrender is an important concept, so "just don't take POWs" isn't really going to work.

scenario 4: I attack a group of civilians in order to provoke the Alliance into a battle they're not ready for. this works (and I win the battle) but now the Alliance is freely killing every Horde race they come across and in about 6 months my army won't have any food.

this one is tricky because different eras/cultures define 'civilian' differently. but in general, there are combatants and there are non-combatants, and if I start killing noncombatants, so is my enemy, and if this spirals long enough we all starve.

there are a lot (a LOT) of armies that won because they used scorched earth, either as the invader (Sherman's march to the sea) or the defender (Russian defense against Napoleon). but there is generally a line of acceptability here because again, if I'm killing your civilians (and destroying your food), then you're going to start killing mine. which is presumably part of why we're at war in the first place.

scenario 5: I destroy a city that has strategic military value but also is full of civilians without giving the civilians time to get out.

hopefully everyone can see what the immediate response to this is going to be. (Sylvanas. of course they're going to try to destroy Lordaeron. that's the logical response.)

at any rate: there are acceptable targets, which have opted in to this stupid problem solving ritual we're all playing. and then there are unacceptable targets, which are either opting out (neutral states) or are unable to opt (both sides' civilians). if I kill your civilians unnecessarily, you're going to kill mine, and then my surviving civilians are going to go "actually we'd like a different leader now thx".

scenario 6: since civilians are off the table, I dress my raid party up as Horde civilians and off we go into Horde territory to blow up some fortifications. (6.5: same thing but we're in Horde uniform.)

this is the same issue as scenario #2 but in a different hat. armies--historic or modern-are Large. I won't know everyone on sight. if I don't know everyone on sight, I need to trust that the people in my uniform are who they say they are. I may have basic preventative measures (code words, ID cards) but if I cannot trust new people I'm going to stop letting people into my fortress. and then eventually we lose, which is unfortunate, but simultaneously I'm pulling the same trick on you, and everyone spirals into paranoia.

now. spying is acceptable and you can wear whatever you want. but you go in, you spy, and you leave, and any blowing up happens while everyone is in uniform.

this is one of the things that distinguishes 21st century warfare, is the regular use of civilian identity to conceal military action. what happens if ANYONE who 'looks new' could be an enemy actor? not what I wanted to happen, that's for sure.

scenario 7: I tell my subordinate to remove enemy agents from the city (this is fine). my subordinate removes enemy combatants AND enemy noncombatants and generally makes this into a cull (this is not fine). we are BOTH at fault: my subordinate obviously manifested reasons to kill a bunch of civilians, but I was nowhere in sight.

armies need to have Someone To Put Blame On. by being in charge, you are saying you are that person. therefore, if your subordinate fucks up badly enough, it is your fault for not stopping them.

scenario 8: there's this new super explosive mineral that can power weapons (this is not a war crime). after mutually using it on each other, everybody decides that the amount of collateral is a colossally bad idea and mutually stops using it (obviously fine). however I think this is stupid and secretly keep supplying my soldiers with it (THAT'S THE PROBLEM).

hopefully we can all see where this one went wrong: if we both agree to Not Do A Thing, and then i Do The Thing, my enemy is not only going to do it in return, but ALSO decide that I am untrustworthy and my odds of negotiating an exit to this go WAY down.

scenario 9: I still don't trust orcs. these ones aren't fighting but I put them in camps anyway. when they rebel, I unilaterally start killing them even when they surrender. I say this isn't a war crime because we're not at war.

which it isn't! this is an atrocity. in real life we've defined this as a war crime because, well, nazis, but this IS an area where Geneva matters.

the difference between this and scenario 5/Teldrassil is that Darnassus is not, perhaps obviously, part of the Horde and so therefore attacking it constitutes an act of war. if Sylvanas had thoroughly lost her mind and wiped out Orgrimmar that wouldn't be a war crime, it'd just be insane.

the orcs are stateless, which complicates matters--if you stick your own civilians in camps and murder them, that's just being a dick. murdering people from another country is an act of war (and potentially a war crime); murdering stateless people has been a war crime irl since the 40s (it's those nazis again) but may not be one on azeroth.

scenario 10: after our last battle, we made a peace treaty. years later, I now know my enemy is preparing to attack me again, so rather than wait for a declaration of war, I go start it first.

declarations of war matter. it's not just being honorable and shit, it's giving everyone time to clear the civilians out and make sure that most of the people dying actually signed up for this. it's telling the opposition why you're declaring war and giving them the opportunity to pick a different option.

furthermore if you signed a peace treaty, a declaration of war is your opportunity to explain that this isn't you breaking your word, the other party did so first. this is important because at some point you'd probably like to sign another peace treaty and nobody is going to listen to you if you just demonstrated you do not give a shit about things you signed your name to. they're probably going to require that you give up a whole lot more than they would've otherwise because of the odds that you're going to be a shit in the future.

okay so in sum. wikipedia has different core principles but mine are:

meaningful surrender (#1, 2, 3)

demarcation between combatants and noncombatants (# 4, 5, 6)

trustworthiness/keeping your word (# 7, 8, 10)

you can also sort of derive the latter two from surrender--if I can't trust you to not kill me, I'm not going to surrender in the first place (trustworthiness), and if you're not demarcating who is and isn't a combatant, what even is going to happen once I've surrendered? but for comprehensiveness, let's take those three.

and go to a reblog because this is fucking enormous.

[drbased]

i’m kind of a baby radfem and im learning about being gender critical and i definitely agree with most of it, the only part that i have thoughts about is the nonbinary identity. i believe that a gender non conforming woman and a nonbinary woman can mean the same thing. in that, i believe that you can be a nonbinary *insert sex here* and it basically just means you’re gender nonconforming. and then it’s like well why do we need two different terms to mean the same thing and we definitely don’t, but i think it’s dangerous to conflate being nonbinary with being agender bc it’s not the same thing and it just makes gender rhetoric even more stupid & ridiculous lol. i’ve seen plenty of people identify as nonbinary and still identify with their sex-based gender. i also believe you can be female and see yourself as a woman and still use they/them or even he/him pronouns. what do u think??

(Bear with me on this, this is a long response but I hope you find it illuminating)

People regularly accuse radfems of being nazis/right wingers and I take those accusations incredibly seriously, and as I result I regularly take time to doubt my position. But the thing I keep coming back to is that:

There is no proof, and perhaps there cannot be proof, that gender exists: it is fundamentally metaphysical, spiritual, soul-like, a product of mind-body dualism, the belief that there is some nebulous internal sense of self that happens to share some labels with sex classification but also happens to completely subsume it in modern leftist discourse, despite that

Regardless of whether or not 'gender' is real, it does not form the basis of the male class oppression of women as a class, and the moment you engage with any feminist theory this fact becomes impossible to ignore. There is no true biological backing behind race and yet we are (in theory, anyway) comfortable with being able to identify and codify the oppressor and oppresses classes in that scenario; however, arguments from the mainstream left will vaguely gesture towards sex being 'fluid' as justification for the dissolution of classic feminist arguments. It's important to be suspicious of why this is and who might benefit from it;

To build on point one, due to the fact that gender has no material basis in the real world, the only 'signifiers' for it are ones that already exist as cultural schemas - and these are, naturally, taken from existing sex roles designed to uphold misogyny and, more broadly, patriachy itself. 'Gender fluid' people are at this point infamous for their tik toks of when they're male or female, and the way they demonstrate this is through short hair and comfortable clothes vs long hair and feminine styling.

Occam's razor + feminist analysis will inevitably point towards women 'identifying' with nonbinary, agender etc. simply being women who are uncomfortable with the misogynistic connotations of femaleness, and who naturally wish to disassociate from them. When you see things under that lens, you can immediately notice patterns of behaviour and language that signal the belief system they hold. To 'identify' as anything is fundamentally meaningless, and signals nothing to both yourself and others except perhaps language. As a person recovering from depression, I have been detaching myself from all rigid concepts of classifying myself and instead focussing much more on being who I am in the moment. It it much healthier to be this way (and a lot less stressful, too)

When we call ourselves 'women', this is nothing more a neutral description of our biology. And due to our status as an oppressed class, especially one based on our biology, it is of paramount importance that we retain language that succinctly names us as such. Dworkin states in Pornography that one of the powers that men have is the power of naming. We still live under patriarchy, and the language we use cannot be separated from male ideas and male thought. Men had, and have, no problem naming us as the oppressor class when it benefits them (especially in the case of prostitution and pornography), but as it has become less, let's say' popular to be seen as a man in recent years, we have seen an explosion of transgender rhetoric enter the popular consciousness. Without the ability to recognise ourselves as women, we lose statistics, we lose safe spaces away from the oppressor class, and we lose class consciousness.

As for using 'they/them' and 'he/they' pronouns - well, I'm a straight woman, but I'm aware that there is a certain lesbian tradition of using masculine pronouns. But that's in a very different context to what's being described here. I've already addressed language but let's put a laser-sighted focus on pronouns for a second:

As a culture, we default to 'he' pronouns for a reason. For a long time, we were 'mankind' and everything akin to humanity is given masculine pronouns. Cute little critters are assumed to be male, probably all your soft toys are male, the most basic of doodles are assumed to be male and only allowed to be female once they are given a dress. It should be no surprise that women who want to escape the shackles of femininity want to be called he/him - they want access to the percieved full humanity of men. Meanwhile, the only times we attribute she/her to things other than people are to things like cars, ships, and natural disasters (with the exception of mother nature, of course) - tools of warfare, accessories of masculinity, and symbols of 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.

There is a study somewhere that shows that when you use 'they/them' as a neutral pronoun, people assume male - especially if you're referencing a prestige profession. If I were to say, I went to the doctor yesterday, they were great - you would automatically assume a male doctor. This is no accident - as already stated, maleness is the default. Women who want to use they/them are dissociating themselves from femaleness but in doing so they are accidentally using language that signifies maleness. This is why feminist analysis is so important, and why 'identifying' as something holds little water in the real world. In an ideal world, perhaps they/them could be genuinely seen as neutral - but we don't live in an ideal world; we live in a world where women are oppressed.

So to answer part of your question, no, I do not believe that 'nonbinary' and 'gender non-conforming' are the same thing; nonbinary is an attempt at classifying someone according to some nebulous, unprovable sense of internal identity that has no real material impact - and any attempt to 'express' this gender are simply taking existing sex roles and mashing them together. Gender nonconforming has a different meaning in radfem circles as it does in transgender ones - TRAs take it to mean that someone is indentifying with a different gender than they were 'assigned' at birth, but radfems simply use it to describe the physical act of being a woman (or man) who doesn't conform to expected sex roles. I am 'gnc' but that's just a neutral descriptor of my dress-sense - and it's a loose descriptor because in many ways I'm definitely not gnc in my behaviour, although I am working on my self-confidence, especially in contexts such as physical fitness and DIY. Gnc is useful shorthand for 'not conforming to sex roles in some major capacity enough to be noticeable by others' - and the only reason it's important, especially for women, is because femininity (our expected behaviour) is designed by the patriarchy to dissociate us from our bodies and keep us decorative, fragile, weak and sexually vulnerable to men.

[dynared]

Hello! I'm sorry if you're tired of this topic, but I can't help but be glad that I'm seeing more and more people criticizing IDW comics!

Once I also wrote a post about criticism of these comics, and my main problem was that there is absolutely no lore in these comics, and if there is anything, it is very little.

I just can't believe that for so long the authors haven't brought anything to the transformers lore. During this really huge amount of time and an impressive list of issues, I expected just a ton of worked-out world and everything else. And as a result, the depth of the lore was approximately equal to the depth of the drying puddle.

I don't understand why many fans praise these comics for the politics and the worked-out world, when this is absolutely not the case. Politics is mainly based on some personal conflicts and intrigues, we practically do not immerse ourselves in the structure and work of the political apparatus, ideas, influence on social structures and lifestyle, the response of different segments of the population to this. No, I understand it's difficult and the age audience is not suitable, but maybe you can't make the central theme of comics something that you can't describe and don't understand how it works?

The authors do not know how to describe a truly alien race and, despite their hatred of human characters, have made Cybertronians so similar to humans that it is absurd.

For example, why is functionalism bad? I understand why this would be bad for humans, but why for another species whose lifestyle should be completely different? In fact, this is the most logical way of life for an alien race, because what is the alternative? Is there an alternative? Can Cybertron switch to equipping itself with conventional technology? What will the Cybertronians who are released from work do, what other jobs and activities are there? The authors do not go into this much and we do not see clear ideas of what a Cybertron society should be without functionalism. Well, or I didn't have enough of what the authors gave me.

But well, we have functionalism. Why is it that the elite of society under this regime are mostly the owners of "useless" altmods? Why not those who transform into scientific or very powerful military equipment? In general, under such conditions, the power on the planet would have been seized by the military part of society long ago.

It's not worth talking about the fact that the usual daily life of Cybertronians is described in almost no way. Along with the culture, we have received very little information about it.

Oh, maybe we know something about the transformers themselves then, right? Not really. Basically you can only find headcanon materials. And what about IDW? Maybe they offered us their glossary, terms, schemes? No, there's nothing. Moreover, already at that time, fans on the forums came up with everything and drew the structure of transformers, and the IDW authors were too lazy to even steal any ideas, except for a few.

But if the authors can't work with these topics, do they describe relationships and love well? Again, no, literally all relationships are either built from scratch, or do not develop, or are full of manipulation, deception and emotional swings (yes, everyone's favorite "the only good" pair of Chromedome X Rewind), or end in nothing, as if nothing ever happened. And it doesn't depend on whether it was a gay relationship or a completely straight one, all the relationships there are very poorly written. If this, like Arcee, is a representation, then it looks more like a direct insult.

And, by the way, if love is for everyone, then where is the love between a transformer and a human? Oh yes, authors hate humans. Love is not for everyone!

And in general, it's good, the authors want to add love and romance, but it needs to be justified! Love relationships are not a necessary phenomenon for species, a lot of stars have to come together for this kind of social interaction to be like that. How did the Cybertronians come to this when they don't have any prerequisites for it? How did they get the Conjux Endura ritual (or did you want to say "bonding"? ;) ).Why does such a strict government, as we were told, disapprove, but not prohibit such types of relations, if in all other respects it is totalitarian and cruel?

How do Cybertronian diseases work? Why did Ratchet die of this disease, but not the characters older than him? This point is generally very similar to a cheap way to soften the reader.

I can go on like this endlessly, but I'll stop here. Roberts is not just a fanfiction writer, he is a very mediocre  fanfiction writer who may have a couple of interesting ideas, but lacks the talent to show them. And then, ordinary average writers understand what they are doing and why, and do not get paid for it. It's even more insulting for the authors of fanfiction, who, even for the sake of their strange plots and ideas, try and spin like they're on a frying pan, go out of their skin, coming up with a justification for everything inside the fanfiction. Roberts can't do that.

In the end, I respect the Kiss Players more because the author knew perfectly well what he was doing and wanted to anger the audience, and the audience reacted appropriately. The authors of the IDW comics thought they were doing something smart and great, but they weren't. But the audience presents it as something great.

P.S. I apologize for the mistakes, I use a translator.

There is no need to apologize, you managed to point out the issues with IDW Transformers and why no one really bothered to read them outside of that specific hardcore audience, and not even a general hardcore audience, but an audience that agreed with one specific interpretation of the material, and everyone who had other interpretations could go suck a lemon.

I’ve said it before, this is a prime example of “Writing a comic about a comic” where the use of lore and specific characterizations is so specific to the franchise that any story that is told is Greek to anyone outside of the bubble, which accounts for IDW’s horrible sales. Skybound’s story so far has been criticized by some hardcore fans as a G1 redux, but even if it is, it’s still a well told story with universal themes, consistent, easy to understand characterizations, and characters that are likable for the heroes and hatable for the villains. It has a clear tone, something both IDW and IDW2 failed at utterly. Roberts, meanwhile was a terrible writer, but he was good at engaging the audience the same way fanfic writers do, focusing on the relationships that get the most dialogue, and leaving openings for others to fill in, via discussion or their own fic. But that’s useless when it comes to engaging a general audience. Most of the audience didn’t want to do the work of filling in the holes themselves, they wanted to have the story do that, or at least provide enough context to paint a picture.

As for Kiss Players, while I don’t know if he wanted to purposefully offend the audience or just create shock value, it was a side story comic. It didn’t shape shows afterwards causing them to tank, and doesn’t have people looking at the last show aired and yawning out of sheer boredom.

[etherealsign282]

In terms of high school posting, i feel so disconnected from posts about stories with makeup and friendships and parties and cliques and stereotypical goofy drama because I never had a gaggle of friends to gossip to about that shit. But I'm also too disconnected from posts about hardass rebelling, emo problems, loud music and "shut up mom, I'm brooding!". Getting into fights and getting arrested and running away from home and purposely being a loner.

I can relate to the posts about being bullied, but that's it. And sometimes, not even then because it's about someone being too geeky and nerdy and smart. Or talking about being weird but "omg he likes anime" weird, or good old "pretending to be a cat" weird, not "there isn't even a stereotypical label to describe them" weird.

I was emo and a geek and had a cat phase but nobody cared about that, they cared about treating me like shit because I was weird weird, and lacked social skills and was confused on how to human, which turned out to be because of autism mixed with undiagnosed mental health problems.

I never see any relatable 'tism/ND posting about being the weird kid,

Who has maybe two equally weird/labeled by the school as "developmentally disabled" friends (probably should have been a sign for me that I was different since neurodivergent people tend to gravitate toward other neurodivergent people),

That gets taken advantage of by the "normal" "cool" people,

That isn't really aware of social cues, social standards, or social cliques- basically anything that has societal rules

Who doesn't get into real crushes or relationship stuff that isn't exploitation (or ND dating where nothing happens except awkward hangouts),

Who doesn't really get anything ever and moves through school on autopilot, trying to figure stuff on our own bc we don't want to look incapable and ask for help but then we end up super behind and everyone labels you as lazy and "dumb",

Who tries to do things that might get attention bc we don't understand how to interact, but usually ends up with negative responses,

That then holes up inside with our personal hyperfixations in the hope we stop being noticed, but now we're known as the idiot weirdo so we have "no choice" but to be picked on bc we made it known we aren't normal,

And our anguish is seen as dramatic or not serious enough because we're too "stupid" to be depressed, so we're seen as even more of a joke than emos, even by emos,

And aren't officially diagnosed with the 'tism or any other neurodivergency (mostly because "people with autism are smart and you're failing your classes and dont understand anything ever" stereotype) for anybody to be fake nice and pity this "stupidity " of ours, via specific school and social worker orders.

So if you were or are one of those kids, this one is for you. Shout out to all my neurodivergent friends who feel like they can't relate to any posts about crazy high school stories, because yall masked or interacted the wrong way and it made people bully or abandon you , while you sat wondering what the hell you did so wrong. And because you don't or didn't do the stigmatized versions of being weird, something "must" be actually wrong with you because you're even more hated than if you put "cat girl", "anime guy", and "emo bitch" all together.

(Esp to afabs, since doctors were and are still very insistent to not diagnose us with autism and we're usually the ones that get no sympathy as a result because we're just psycho weird girlies to everyone else)

*BTW not knocking or competing with anybody that has the stereotypical tropes of being bullied, this is just a shout out to people who NEVER get noticed*

[furiousgoldfish]

So having the experience of being abused, I used to have no idea what it takes to deal with actual children, and I never plan to have a child of my own, so I figured I wouldn't exactly get a chance to learn. However, this year I happened to have an underage roommate, someone who was supposed to live in a pupil's home but their parents were too late to arrange it, and the minor lost the spot. So they just stuck the kid in an apartment with complete strangers. Left them there, for most of the week. I have no respect for the parents. Hanging out with the kid, I found out they were neglectful, unfair, and heavily overworking the child, which only disgusted me further. So, I did the only thing that came natural, jumped into the role of replacement parent/weird overly-caring roommate.

At first it was great because the kid was happy to watch disney and ghibli movies with me, never having seen any of them before, but, there's one thing: I have no authority over children, and children can sense that. It took a while for this kid to properly relax around me, but once they did, and they figured I was basically harmless and non-threatening, things started to change.

I didn't put up any rules for the kid except 'not to stay outside after 10pm because it's dangerous, drunk people and predators run rampant and I didn't want them to get hurt', and this rule started getting broken 6 months in. And I freaked out the first time it happened, I called, demanded their location, rushed over there running, and then walked the kid, and their friend home. We argued the entire way home, then the next day, and the day after that we were both mad, only for the kid to again stay out after 10pm the day after! It was maddening because I was out of my head worried, felt responsible for the life of the kid I couldn't enforce any rules on, because the only way to force them, would be to call their parents, who could bring consequences, but the kid knew I would never, no matter what, call their abusive parents on them, because that is cruel and horrid to me.

So, I figured the only thing I could do was try to make them understand the situation like a human being, and annoy them to hell with it. I checked what were the rules of the home they were supposed to be in, and found out they were massively strict, bedtime was 9pm and if broken, consequences were dire, like no going out for 2 weeks, or even getting expelled. So I explained to them how much freedom they have in comparison to all of their peers, and it seemed to get to them a little, to get the perspective of living without rules. Trying to get them to understand that the city in the night was dangerous, was futile, because the kid felt strongly they could 'beat them all'. The other thing that finally worked was – just being there, outside, with them, if they wanted to stay out past 10pm. So we made a deal they would call me, tell me where they are, and I would come, and safeguard them against the world, until 11pm, or even until midnight, so they could hang out with their friends in the darkness. After a while, it got boring for them, so they quit going out so late, and invested more time in sleeping, which was a huge relief to me.

Another problem that popped up was the kid starting to get extremely angry, bitter, frustrated, enraged, in puberty, and getting into that 'I am unbeatable' mindset, which resulted in a lot of drama, fighting, problems, and an unhinged, irresponsible lifestyle. I didn't mind, since I liked seeing the anger on someone who's been kept down for so long, but the kid also figured they could now lash out at me, since I'm unlikely to retaliate, and that was jarring. Being told to shut up and being yelled at even by a child, doesn't feel good, and I would immediately argue back against it, but ultimately nothing could be done while the child was in a bad mood, I had to wait until they were a bit more collected, then sit them down, and have long, long conversations about what is and isn't acceptable to do to people, regardless of how frustrated one is, and it would generally get better after that. I also explained to them the importance of apologizing, so they apologized to me, and to the other roommate they also lashed out on, they actually wrote an apology letter, which had the roommate melting, since it was so cute.

The kid would sometimes ignore me for a week, and once I would sit down to ask why, and had them have a conversation with me, it turned out they were into a lot of bad shit and they didn't want to deal with it or tell me, and after a bit of insisting, they told me everything, and I was able to offer support and reassurance, and things turned back to normal.

There was a time where the kid was so agitated they attempted to start a fight; they were provoking me, calling me names, trying to get me to get up and fight them, and I realized I didn't like the direction the interaction was taking, so I asked them to stop twice, explained that it's not funny, and they wouldn't. So I figured, okay, it's now my responsibility to de-escalate this. And I shut myself down, and didn't react. After a bit more of taunting and jarring words, they realized they couldn't make me do anything, and they quit. They quieted down too. Then after a bit, asked me 'Are you mad?' and I realized the tone of their voice changed, and they were normal again. So I spoke back 'No, I was just de-escalating the situation, because it's my responsibility as an adult to recognize when things are going bad, and to tone it down before it gets worse.' The kid listened, and said 'Yeah. I don't want to be the person I just was back then.' And that was better than an apology, so I accepted it immediately.

I know I'm listing all of the problems, struggles, frustrations and challenges of living with a child to who you're kind-of, the parent-replacement figure, but the thing is, this is a good kid, and I can see it. I can tell they're trying hard and struggling with focus and their own emotions, I can see they're fighting for their place in the world, for freedom, for their own will to go up against everyone else's, to prove themselves, to make it, to have friendships and relationships despite everything feeling so loud, so jarring and enraging and painful. I want them to have support, I want them to have at least something, even if I can't in reality replace a parent to them, or offer any similar level of love. I know this is temporary, and the kid is taking whatever attention I give them for granted, as they should.

My point, however, is, that I can't believe how easy it is to actually get to an end of a problem, with a child, if you invest some minimal effort and care into it. Recognizing when a child is agitated and needs some time to cool off, that's not an impossible feat. De-escalating aggression in a child who is provoking you, is an easy thing to do! Finding a humane solution with a child that demands what is dangerous and unsafe for them, without understanding it, is possible with little extra care and patience.

I know in my heart that for every problem I listed, abusive parents, including mine, would resort to violence immediately. I know it would end in blood. I would not be forgiven for talking back, for demanding anything, for acting aggressive, for breaking a rule, for being frustrated, for taking anything for granted. It would have been punished in the most severe way, in order to 'teach me a lesson'. And apparently this is 'the only way'. And now I'm on the other end of the problem, and the solutions are endless, and they're so much better than violence! Giving a child a little lee-way and going out of convenience to make sure they're safe, that's not a grand gesture! That is just enough to let the child know you're not dead-set against them, you do not hate them, you are not trying to control them or force their hand, that you're trying to be there for them, and they understand the language of kindness. They understand when they've been given patience and a chance to calm down and apologize, rather than taking advantage of their aggression to inflict punishment on them. They really get when someone is being fair! They understand when you explain them in words and actions that they're being cared for and their wishes are still being respected! They understand if you explain to them the power of apology and they're grateful to be forgiven as well! They have to act up because they need to test their limits in order to be able to develop their personality completely and be aware of what they can and can't do!

It makes me mad that abusive parents present this as an impossible road to take. If I, sick with ptsd, struggling with a dissociative disorder, chronic pain, exhaustion, survival dread and whole mountain of other problems, still can figure out what to do when a child is acting up, there's absolutely no reason two bodily healthy adults couldn't. The kid, of course, doesn't have a clue about my problems because that's not appropriate to share with children, who would immediately feel responsible for helping, which is impossible for them to do. It's so not hard! It's not hard not to overburden children with your struggles! It's easy not to take your own abuse out on someone more vulnerable! It's easy to recognize others as human beings with hearts and emotions! It's easy to offer recognition and reassurance to a struggling child. Children already have it bad enough, and they don't deserve our worst as well.

Don't think for a second that you deserved your parents lashing out at you and punishing you for a moment of frustration, because you didn't deserve that. The truth is, they could have had patience for you. They could have been fair and kind to you. They could have given you the benefit of the doubt, and a second chance. They could have recognized that you're struggling, that you don't know how to process your own emotions yet, that you don't know what is the correct thing to do, that the only thing they taught you was to escalate and act up and provoke, and that it's not your fault you're doing what you've been taught. They could have, and they should have done better.

[stormdragon23]

Songs for Solo Leveling Ships Pt. 2

I was actually going to put these songs in the previous part, but it got too long-

Choibaek:

It's funny 'cause this song's actually in Japanese, not Korean-

"It's been a long time, without any news It's like our feelings are far apart Though I want to tell you, it won't come true anymore The distance between us, my wishes won't reach Still calling for you"

I imagine this song as a result of a particularly bad argument between them and that they're giving each other the silent treatment.

"Baby, I miss you so much now, no matter what anyone says, ayy Calling you up, I need you even now, say If our feelings are the same, yeah If that time was just a mistake, babe I want you to say that, truthfully Like an old novel This ending I don't think I can get over it"

Except one of them (could be either, but I imagine it's Choi Jong-In) starts missing the other and wants to see him again but at the same time, isn't sure if the other feels the same way yet.

"Left in tears Because there's nothing to hold on to Ring-a-ling I may be a nuisance, but Because there's only one thing I want you to tell me Getting no reply is also an answer, but I'll keep on waiting, even now I want you to come back"

And this is when Jong-In makes the decision to try to mend things between them, but Baek Yoon-Ho doesn't answer. So Jong-In is willing to wait until he gets a response, whether Yoon-Ho chooses to or not.

This song is a direct response to the previous one (don't mind me and my delusions too much-)

"And I can't deal without, I try to see the good in life But good things in life are hard to find"

I'm assuming this song from Yoon-Ho's perspective, mostly because of this line, which reminds me of all the times, Yoon-Ho's lost (or almost lost) people around him.

"Well, I'll try to do it right this time around Let's start over I'll try to do it right this time around It's not over"

I see these lyrics as an indirect apology from Yoon-Ho, saying that he wants to go back to how they were before and that things aren't over between them.

"My life with you means everything So I won't give up that easily

I'll blow it away, blow it away Can we make this something good? 'Cause it's all misunderstood"

Despite all their arguments and some misunderstandings, I see Yoon-Ho wanting their relationship to work out well, even if his emotions get the better of him sometimes

"This love is killing me, but you're the only one It's not over"

I just really like this line, but it also symbolizes how even though they fight, they truly do care for each other and want to stay together

Sorry, the Choibaek songs in this part are more sad than I intended

Heeseok:

"What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright"

This is basically what happened when Eun-Seok visited Park Hee-Jin for the first time after getting injured, though this is more of a recollection of that moment rather than the moment itself.

"Give your all to me I'll give my all to you You're my end and my beginning Even when I lose, I'm winning 'Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you, oh-oh"

Just Eun-Seok being smitten with Hee-Jin after they get together and willing to do anything for her (including killing but Hee-Jin doesn't want him doing that for her)

Sungpark:

"In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world In another life I would make you stay So I don't have to say you were The one that got away"

Another song that basically describes their entire relationship in the original timeline. Park Kyung-Hye would want Sung Il-Hwan to stay with her and their children, especially if she knew what would happen. Except they actually were able to be together "in another life" and were able to happily be together <3

Jinhae:

"Missed call from my mother Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi"

I'm sorry, but I just found this line really funny. Imagine Park Kyung-Hye wondering where Sung Jin-Woo is, and he can't think of an excuse

"I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin My radiant beam in the night I don't need no light to see you

Shine It's your golden hour (oh) You slow down time In your golden hour (oh)"

Basically Jin-Woo's thoughts when he looks at Cha Hae-In, especially during that one date when he took her for a ride on Kaisel.

"For the love of my life She's got glow on her face A glorious look in her eyes My angel of light"

More of Jin-Woo's thoughts about Hae-In, but this one is more about him thinking about her rather than him currently looking at her

I was going to add another ship, but Choibaek's section got long-

(Feel free to request a ship though, even if I've already done them. I have a lot of songs in mind)

[plagueybirb]

Random headcanons! Because I have many thoughts and they take up too much brain, so might as well put them somewhere and it's a long one

Skeptic can read QR codes and bar codes. Like physically read them. No scanning necessary.

On that same note, he absolutely cannot read sheet music. It's completely incomprehensible to him

He's definitely hypermobile, and that comes with all the creaking joints, pain, and scary stupid flexibility. Absolutely used it to scare the shit out of people when he was younger. Think bending over backwards to do that freaky spider walk from (I think) The Exorcist

Doesn't mean shit about his balance though. Regularly walks into walls and door frames and is covered in bruises as a result. He definitely trips over his own feet, does that little stumble run thing, and proceeds to act like he almost didn't just lose a fight to gravity

Occasionally stands with his elbows bent and his hands just dangling. T-Rex arms basically. And by occasionally I mean literally whenever he's not holding something, actively doing something, or just has his hands in his pockets

I know this man just sits in the dark in his office. No reason for it, he just does

Owns exactly one dress. It's the Morticia Addams one. I will die on this hill

About his quirk. Using it too much in a short period of time (such as the Meta Liberation Army war arc when he went to fight Twice personally) results in his hands being really sore. He also gets bad headaches from it, and maybe a slight pain behind his eyes. He knows this very well, but chooses to do it anyway. His fear of failure is far greater than any concern over his own well being will ever be

He! Loves! Spiders! All spiders! Has several as pets, names all of them and treats them like his own children

Corporate Goth

Probably had Hawks merch. Dude's a bit of a fan, not that he would ever admit it

A Gorillaz fan as well. Named his tech company after one of their songs and everything

Was the most IPad kid to ever IPad. You could not separate his 3 year old self from his tablet unless you wanted to deal with the worlds worst temper tantrum. Would still probably freak out today if someone were to take his laptop from him.

Slept in a coffin shaped bed in his teen years because he thought it was cool

Dated maybe once in college? Was not all that interested and didn't date anyone again. He's just not interested. Never has been, and might not ever be. He's okay with that, happy even

HOWEVER. In the universe's where he is interested in dating, he's got standards and they are HIGH. Again, dated once maybe in college, was not much of a fan, and didn't date again until his 30s

Doesn't develop feelings or crushes easily, but he definitely falls HARD if it ever did happen. Not that anyone would know, he's both secretive and has the most convoluted flirting strategy on the planet

*sets pen down in a super particular way* "Ah, yes, this will definitely convey my feelings perfectly, I'm so good at this flirting thing"

"What the fuck do you mean I can't ask them out over email it's the most efficient way"

"Okayokayokay, they sat next to me in the meeting, good, time to make my next move" *completely ignores them for the entire meeting except to slide a piece of paper over with nothing but binary code written on it* "Okay, now to wait for their answer. All according to plan"

It's his phone number. In binary code. That he gave zero explanation on how to translate it. So the recipient is just stuck with a sheet of paper with 1s and 0s on it. In the worst handwriting imaginable

Might do more of these someday, this already feels long as it is

[azulas-daddy-kink]

Alright so I know I’ve made some of these points before but now I’m compiling all of my thoughts about Ozai and Ursa’s relationship in one post.

People who do not see Ursa as a victim of Ozai’s abuse and/or delusionally ship Urzai on the basis that Ozai “really loved” Ursa legit fucking scare me.

Ozai did not love Ursa, in any capacity. Ozai does not love anyone. Except maybe himself but he flip-flops on that one, even. 

Ursa did not love Ozai. She was terrified of him. She was taken from her home and forced to marry him - and no, she did not have a choice, not really. Her “choice” was marry Ozai or he kills the love of her life right in front of her. She had about as much of a choice there as Jigsaw’s victims. Starve to death or hack your own foot off, yeah, complete free will.

Then once she married the bastard, she was told she belonged to him, and that she could never see or speak to her family ever again. So romantic, right?

What about this screams “Yes, Ozai, I love you and I can’t wait to have your babies!”

Speaking of, this is more or less implying that Zuko and Azula were conceived as the result of marital rape but y’all ain’t ready for a deep dive into that. Anyone who thinks Ursa could fully consent in this situation needs to have their head examined.

Now backtracking a bit to “she was terrified of him”, let’s not forget this panel!

This is what Ursa looks like when she sees a PORTRAIT of Ozai. A mere portrait. I rest my case.

But alright, I know what some of you are probably thinking. The comics are not canon (except when you want them to be), the comics “retconned” their backstory, or whatever else. I disagree on the last point in particular because that’s not what retconning means. There is nothing, absolutely zero, in the show that contradicts Ozai and Ursa’s comic backstory, or Ozai’s behavior during all of that.

Ozai, in canon, is a genocidal, child abusing, egomaniac. He is shown to have very little regard for others’ feelings, wants, or needs, and only seems interested in his own desires and lust for power. Never once do we see him treating someone with basic respect and consideration, not even his precious favorite, Azula. He manipulates her, he tells her what she wants to hear so that she remains loyal to him but ultimately he views her as a possession - an extension of himself rather than her own person. Which is very typical of narcissists.

Given the way Ozai treats literally everyone else he interacts with, what reason do we have to believe he treated Ursa any differently?

None.

“B-b-b-but what about the fountain?”

Look, I don’t know what it is with this fandom and viewing literally any little thing a character does behind shipping goggles but it is certainly quite annoying.

So here in Zuko’s flashback, we see Ozai standing in front of the fountain, the morning after his father died and Ursa was subsequently banished.

And for some reason, this is used to prove that Ozai loves and misses Ursa which.... what?

A lot just happened over the past 24 hours. Ozai and Ursa murdered his own father for one, and for two, Ozai is coming to the realization that everything he’s ever wanted is now within his grasp. Is it not possible he’s just thinking or clearing his head? I guess that would make too much sense. Is it not also possible that he is mourning the death of his father?

I know, I know Ozai killed Azulon... but it’s complicated. Up until this point, he had desperately been trying to please him. Think of the scene in the throne room, where he’s trying to show Azulon why he is the better son and more worthy of Iroh’s place in the line of succession. And he used AZULA to do it. The child he named after Azulon, his favorite. Declaring that she was “a true prodigy, just like her grandfather for who she is named”. 

Y’all, if this doesn’t scream “Please be proud of me, Daddy!” then I don’t know what does.

It was a bitter pill for Ozai to swallow, I’m sure, that no matter what he accomplished in his life that he would always play second fiddle to Iroh, and that his father would never give him the respect and approval he so desperately craved...

So yeah, gonna go out on a limb here and say this is what Ozai was thinking about. The father he had spent his entire life trying to please was now dead, and he had to close that chapter in his life for good.

Now, before anyone comes at me about the “original series bible”, yes, I am aware that it exists and what it says about Ozai and Ursa. The claim is again that the show and/or comics “retcon” this but I really don’t see how when all that was changed was that she was low-born rather that high-born and/or nobility.

I suppose it’s because people like to cherry pick the line “She was the perfect match for Prince Ozai and soon became his wife.”

Here is the thing about royal marriages - they’re not perfect because they’re love matches, they’re perfect because they are politically savvy and present a certain image to the public.

And not for nothing but these early character concepts and the old Nick website say A LOT of weird shit that never made it into the show or is blatantly untrue but even still, nothing in the above passage disproves the following statement: Ursa is a victim of domestic violence.

Ozai abused Ursa. Full fucking stop. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it...

HOWEVER...

...the point of this was not to say that people can’t ship Ozai/Ursa or that they can’t have their own headcanons or whatever. The point of this was to say that nothing in canon supports Ozai and Ursa’s marriage as being one of love and mutual respect and in fact, most of what is shown proves the exact opposite.

Ship what you want, it’s okay. Just call a spade a spade. None of this is healthy, loving, or wholesome but it IS sexy. Nothing wrong with that.

Now before someone tries to say I’m a giant hypocrite because “ew you ship Ozula, your opinion doesn’t count”, you’re still completely missing the point here. I would be the first to say that parent/child relationships are abuse, grooming, non-consensual, and morally reprehensible. I’m not out here trying to say this is an ideal relationship or that this is okay to do.

And that is the difference.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

vague musing theme re: deh in evan and the Mom & Son theme and evan taking on responsibility for how his own mom feels, and then also connor's. irreconcilable tension in deh, as in life, with [the family unit, at its smallest: a Parent & Child unit] inevitably needing to be validated via supporting whatever conclusion we get (and the conclusion support it in turn) versus whether, actually, that not only Can be enough but Must be enough, b/c of how it cannot be denied, that is: rejected

we have Parallel Moms in the first song, it's a relevant difference that the murphys are relatively rich & the hansens relatively poor, but the Primary effect of this difference being heidi's frequent absence at home due to working, vs. the lack of such financial pressures resulting in cynthia being....stuck at home and trying to figure out anything in life Through her role as Stay At Home Mom, whilest she also Isn't guaranteed more successful connection with her children (or husband, except that: he's Here, married to her) for that, as established already in that first song lol

evan right off the bat taking on the pressure of how his mom needs him to have a good year because also she needs to have a good year, and heidi talking about this in terms of things that evan needs to Do, like, he needs to Order Pizza*, he needs to be Making Friends & then Be Away Hanging Out With Them (*also i always consider how evan Could've avoided getting pizza to not spend the money? but nothing else (besides evan being conscious of financial woes & feeling pressure abt this more generally) really suggests this is the case, and i guess at any given point he has $20 to spare)....then referring to the Resolution of this relationship where suddenly heidi has a turning point offstage (like, offscreen lol) wherein now she can go "oh i didn't know you were Feeling like this" versus like. that the conflict the rest of the time is with her own feelings, of course, and evan's Behavior. wherein she doesn't really mind the bare facts that he's dealing with anxiety, has prescriptions & therapy about it, but she Has minded about the things he needs to Be Able To Do (specifically on his own, mind you) and what's important to Do to get there (despite the letters sure not seeming to help, and then like, never officially being written again. does he still go to therapy appts?)....and that she starts feeling rejected by him As His Mother, which is like, the main issue up until she reads thee letter via facebook and realizes [evan thinks he's failed heidi as her child, because of how he makes her feel (bad)]

that even when heidi refutes this, prior, it's not the answer when like, "you're the one good thing that ever happened to me" is also like about as much pressure as could be put on evan, The Answer here wouldn't necessarily be like "no don't worry, i don't reject you as my child, because of how you Don't make me feel bad / Disappointed"....cynthia illustrating this, though we have little sense of how connor felt, probably not like "i feel really secure b/c my mom definitely isn't disappointed or anything"....and then "sorry i can't give you more than that" from heidi as a followup is Effectively a shutdown to conversation b/c like, what can evan say to that, it's basically on par with something like a sarcastic "well sorry i'm not perfect / i guess i'm the worst parent ever" that's like yeah obviously nobody's perfect nobody's the Best Or Worst person ever, it's a dismissal. which i hardly think heidi's Trying to dismiss evan or anything, or is being disingenuous, but again like "i'm trying my best / i can't give you more than [my best, or your being the best thing in my life]" can't really serve as any kind of Concluding Remarks if the conclusion isn't just like "okay so we haven't reached a resolution but let's cut it out now"....it's fun how of course we can understand how then heidi would find it devastatingly hurtful for evan to be like "well it's not my fault other people can [give [me] more than that]" but it's also like welllll the only reason here it's Not true is because evan's (a) got his World Of Lies going on, which heidi doesn't know is part of this situation & (b) evan is looking for validation that he's Supported as a Child figure to the murphys in these pretty superficial ways lol as per the fantasy of the like ideal suburban untroubled nuclear family unit....cynthia's just Here, with time to cook, larry's just Here, with the willingness to impart his own interests onto evan, they don't know evan has [diagnosis: anxiety] going on, evan feels like he's making these parents feel Better and themselves validated as parents, via both his fiction about how connor was maybe happier than they know, and his performance about being this no-hassle no-problems no-friction child who's also just Here. unlike connor....like tbt like eh excise the part where evan does happen to be making things up to have gotten here, and like. is it so bad he stays at another family's house when his mom's out at work. would it be so [Bad poors] if the murphys paid for college for him. heidi clearly responding to this with a "sorry, our bootstraps, you know" reasoning but Really primarily rejecting it because she's thrown at the apparent realization that evan's Replacing her with the murphys, she's rejected as his Mother....as she makes explicit in the next scene, the I'm Your Mother & they're Not Your Family(tm) like. okay, and? again, she doesn't know evan Wasn't that secretly close to connor lol and part of the point of deh is these lies bleeding into truths from the start, and Why evan lies, which isn't just "b/c he's an evil sicko?" nor as an elaborate scheme to get at zoe though like, at this moment i'm trying to puzzle out what couldn't be improved by zoe Not being a murphy....

well anyways. the tension here being like "yeah when is One Person ever """"enough"""" for anyone else all on their own. why do we demand that happen" like How & Why. no single person could or should be Everything to someone else. we even see how like Two People really don't have the resources for their One Child together completely on their own, and why is it that it Should be whittled down and isolated as much as possible. wherein the costs of being a parent, one who is tasked with bringing up a child with as little external support as possible while also already getting little external support as an individual in the first place (which a spouse, again, One Person, is supposed to fulfill in any/all ways), is supposedly offset like "well the magic of parenthood will be (Should be. if you're a good enough parent (threat)) its own rewards....and btw the child is Yours. they're someone stuck in a house with you. you can have this fantasy about Who They'll Be and try to ensure they become that. sure you're in charge of them (a burden!) but also: you're in charge of them (you can be an authority figure in this one aspect of your life). you can Always have access to them no matter what, because of the fact that as soon as a child exists, you're Now & Forever Their Parent"....i'm your mother, they're not your family....how are cynthia's like Identity Crises that are expressed to her family through cooking resolved? well, so far as we know, they aren't, but hey she's not getting divorced. zoe implying that cynthia's problems are thanks to having nothing to do / not leaving the house, such that gee evan your mom's lucky she Has to work....while evan apparently feels like heidi at least in part is always going to work b/c she hates to be around him, since he's all like well i presume you're so Not Unhappy in being the Mother to my Child that that's why you're always at home, cooking every dinner....like, what happens there? does cynthia join a club? take up a hobby? is evan Right that it's chill being stuck at home if that household is happy (as is the "it's fine having women's lives be Staying At Home, if that household is good enough :)" ideal) like well not sure but the status update is: she's not getting divorced

anyways i'm arguing against the nuclear family including in its theoretical distillation of "well god a Parent & Child if that's the very best you can do" here lmao and uhh deh not so much since the mother & son aspect Must resolve, kind of like what's supposed to be required of the parent & child aspect irl. and not like i think it's terrible it Does resolve, or it shouldn't, in this Story, but it's a definite [shhhruggg] from me like yeah that's nice but like, what's evan have going for him besides "he doesn't think his mom hates him now" (better yeah) and "he has a customer service job" (like oh my god so sorry. is this supposed to be Better? like oh he can order pizzas now? idk we don't get enough detail. ppl just get a part time job like yeah it's fine. i also have part time schooling but i'm saying it's a year off?) and this is not disconnected from how i feel about the Evan Needs To Believe He Could Have The Theoretical Perfect Gf which has to be answered in the end by zoe like, yeah i Wish we could date without the history. alas....like, Huh. why is she saying this (a) as a character & (b) as the conclusion to this story? god knows, but not like we don't know the ideals of Romance are also considered keys to the success of the nuclear family, and are an interim goal even if you don't have the kids yet, or like a begrudged Alternate goal as the next most adjacent thing, being Single has to be as vulnerable as it is re: any material or emotional support as Needed, much less what is Wanted for any further fulfillment. down to destruct the nuclear family & romance in one fell swoop baby. pointing at the camera and deh you're first (this sentence is a joke, the previous one is humorous but fully in earnest. kind of like [jared & alana (especially alana re: the earnestness)])

anyways again this is all still vague lol just sure Noting how very relevant it is that evan is motivated by a sense of his responsibility in how he affects his mother's like overall emotional landscape. while heidi does derive / seek emotional support from evan. not like her kid can be Emotionally Irrelevant to her, or like there's no good & relevant way for evan to be aware of or interact with her feelings. or like all of this is saying the point i want to make is that heidi is terrible or something. the parent i'm firing out of a cannon & into the sun is larry though lol. like heidi, being a person, can be Imperfect, and have an imperfect relationship with anyone, including her son, and have feelings, and care about her role as a mother....and all this can Not be resolved by evan simply not hating her either, or by anything else All hinging on her son. like how idk how cynthia's gonna do better than she was even before she was a grieving parent when nothing's changed for her except that a manifestation of happier memories is i guess enough that her terrible marriage can be sustained lol. larry's arc starting out dismissive ending up dismissive, with some dismissiveness in between...an anti larry zone here for sure

meanwhile it's sure just Something that like, heidi transitions into this equivalent role with 2 of evan's Peers in good for you. other people having noted that heidi being previously Rejected & presumably also pretty much fully cut out of the life of her ex husband is playing into her feelings here: a relationship of hers with a Peer. just now as i type this being like hmm interesting to juxtapose this with [so big so small] moving Away from this perhaps by tapping into evan being like a very small child. while the murphy parents, again, find resolution in turn by remembering better times with also much younger than he was connor....aaand in both cases presumably less "difficult" children than when they're teens :I like i wouldn't have heidi Not be mad or anything, another whole point here is that i wouldn't expect nor demand deh to be like, issuing a Statement about "and everything you saw up here is a model of the ideal family experience okay," heidi can even feel petty about it or have whatever other reaction and of course she's gonna feel hurt but like when it comes to Good For You i'm like, alana's grievances? hell yes go off. jared's grievances? hell yes go off. heidi's grievances? yeah alright but actually i'm more so on evan's side on this one lol....even when this scene establishes a clear pattern of "evan is also being petty & hurtful to people on purpose with his remarks here as he lashes out at each of them as things come to a head and he's deflecting responsibility" like yeah. and i feel entirely sympathetic to jared and alana here and not Unsympathetic to heidi so much as there's very immediate limits to that and (a) i don't think shutting everything down Because We're Family / I'm Your Parent as a fallback to whatever you do To your kids or whatever you fail to do For them, is legitimate, positive, constructive, non coercive and (b) heidi does & has been looking too much to evan for emotional support. wherein, again, don't need to go "i guess it's b/c she's a terrible individual" when it's like, she lives in a society....what else Does she have? where else is she Supposed to get any & all emotional needs met outside the bounds of her household (family) and her role as a parent/mother?

which is not really unrelated to evan's situation out here wherein, where is He supposed to find support and get his needs met? he doesn't feel that [at home] is providing that, even with him at least in part blaming himself for that, b/c he's not a good enough child for his mother. he turns to school as an avenue for Friendship, and when alana doesn't singlehandedly fix his whole life with a Hi before homeroom, nor does jared, and btw connor wasn't gonna do that either even if the "again i'm sorry i pushed you" hadn't been [their interaction: gone to shit: 2], like uh oh once again One Person isn't being Everything by virtue of somehow the status of "friend" making everything inherently perfect, or, [making everything perfect] defining the status of "friend," see: For Forever. see: how in sincerely me you have jared & evan effectively discussing, by proxy & creative fiction & plausible deniability, the presence of Effort & Communication in a relationship, as well as pretty much laying out a mutual belief in / effort towards successfully Becoming the person you'd like to be through deciding on who that even is and then just like, trying to be them lol. a sentiment that could hardly be wholly dismissed, people having goals, inevitably changing so you may as well be trying to be growing, but that ofc they don't have the perfect ideas at 17 of who they wanna be, How to be that person, and they sure really don't have much support to draw on for whatever efforts, And this being driven too much by insecurity & self-loathing re: who they already are, no pressure from anyone around them....and evan of course ending up thinking well the only thing that could fix my life is Romance, a Gf. and then he's not only finding himself in a situation where he feels responsible for another mom's feelings (cynthia), and feels like how people can think of the concept of connor is how they can think about him, & As he's navigating those things he starts feeling like he's finding some of What He Needs, and he already felt like it was up to him alone to do that, so of course it all escalates / continues for the next like hour & a half....he Is isolated, they all are, and not just because like uh oh evan on that damn phone

and then idk it's like yeah heidi realizing evan was actually thinking She was gonna reject Him and she tells him she won't. and for some reason zoe has to crop up to reassure evan about his potential for romance in general; meanwhile she's doing fine b/c....her parents' marriage is doing better = they're going on dates = also how cynthia is doing okay? idk. and no status updates on the couple of peers who also had no friends, weren't dating anyone, and didn't really mention family except alana's grandmother having died and jared not telling his parents anything and then only mentioning them previously to basically avoid getting in trouble with them oh and also how they'll be gone for a weekend so he's inviting his boy best friend to hang out with him the whole time like HMM to all of that!!! like well i don't think deh is really Trying to reach the most Definitive Conclusions in its story & what it's exploring, and that's great b/c (a) yeah there's a lot going on in there! and (b) it sure doesn't lmao. and i would always be detached from & in disagreement with "idk but Nuclear Family & Nuclear Romance must be like, It, right" or "idk. just be more normal" lmao. where'd your gay little peers go for the past half hour. bring them back out here

anyways i said "vague" so that i didn't have to try to muster a thesis. like yeah just noting Evan Feeling Responsible For Moms' Feelings: His Own, & Connor's, as very relevant up to his mom reassuring him she can't Feel like rejecting him / doesn't hate him. evan making sure to Behave as conveniently as possible around the murphys, and around his mom as well; while what heidi tends to talk about is what evan can/should Do, including how he should be Trying to feel, and as ppl often notice she doesn't have great boundaries, and as i'm at least noting, does need validation from evan / puts her insecurity on him in turn where again up until so big so small she's worrying about him possibly rejecting her. though she does seem to be Over That upon realizing evan felt That Bad, actually, and like thank god yeah evan doesn't have dialogue about "yeah btw mom i will never disown you" lmao. can sure look at this as just like, well, some "doing the best with what one's got?" wherein uh oh we Don't have much support outside this household/family, so it's good to improve it....like yeah sure lol and would be good if it was good even if they did both have a zillion other important connections to turn to in their lives. again, let's destroy romance and the nuclear family. and a further improvement were if cynthia got a divorce and befriended heidi (awkward at first but idc. here: they meet at a social group for divorcees and go from there lmao)

[wh0lemilk0vich]

tag game! Tagged by @creepkinginc thx nosho

rules: go to pinterest, search "[your name] core aesthetic" and create a moodboard from the results.

I had to fudge it a bit or else I only got pictures of Misha Collins

Lots of get to know you stuff under the cut

about

you name: Misha (any spelling or variation of Michael except "Mike")

age: 29

starsign: Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising

your first language: English

second language: German/Russian

(third language: Polish)*

(fourth language: Irish)*

favourite lip product: I let God decide what happens to my lips.

the best food dish you can make without a recipe: I can make a pasta sauce out of basically any vegetables and some meat. I also cook pretty decent Korean food.

if you drink tea, what kind?: herbatki "Malwa" z suszu owocowego, either czarna porzeczka or owocowa.

if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: I don't drink coffee, and haven't had caffeine in 2 years.

favourite thing to watch on youtube right now: God, these days Minecraft or other video game let's plays, game streams, comparative mythology, or world building videos?

favourite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: I absolutely could not tell you. What did annoying theatre kids watch in 2012?

favourite item of clothing right now: I have a couple dresses and sweaters I love.

favourite item of clothing in 2012: lololol probably the American Eagle button down shirts I insisted on wearing with a vest and blazer, but then for some reason boot cut jeans.

* I had to rep for USAmericans who are multilingual

fandom

three movies you recommend: Morozko/Ivan Vasilievich Back to the Future, Stardust, The Lord of the Rings.

your favourite concert: i really don't like concerts haha.

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: not really.

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: not really, I still feel like I'm trying to enter them tbh.

the best tv show you watched last year: honestly probably Shadow and Bone or House of Dragons (it's probably been longer than a year but I mean writers strikes and stuff, I don't remember seeing a good show) or Gilded age! Nothing happens in Gilded Age and I love every minute of it.

do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: I don't think I picture actors or types in my head when I watch or read things.

a ship you've abandoned: none they're always bouncing around there and can always be reactivated. Especially if you can give me a juicy crossover, make it supernatural/fantasy, or make one of them chubby.

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: oh lol, I was about to say pretty open but then I remember some of the stuff I read so hard 0.

do you have a fandom tattoo? (do you want one?): no and don't think I want one, but I have tattoo ideas

what fandom do you wish was bigger?: I'm honestly not sure maybe Magicians, I get intimidated by big fandoms haha.

has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: the last season of game of thrones was abysmal.

have you …

... swam in an ocean?: yes, as it happens.

... ever been vegan/vegetarian?: nö.

... gone skinny dipping?: no, but I would with the right people.

... gone skiing?: never and no desire.

... been to a convention?: a couple academic conventions.

[flootzavut]

This is your irregular reminder that if you are frustrated with a fic not being finished with, it's not just probable but likely that your pet fanwriter is more frustrated with it than you could ever be. Be nice to your pet fanwriter, it's tough out there when the muse isn't talking to you & life isn't going well. Please don't assume we just don't care or have abandoned stories without saying so, & bear in mind that approaching comments with that attitude is also absolutely the worst way to achieve your desired result. Absolutely nothing is as dispiriting to me personally as getting a comment that's just complaining that something hasn't been updated, or badgering me about something that hasn't been explained yet.

That's not to say that you can't ask for updates! I love when people are excited to read more. Just don't demand, don't act entitled, don't assume your pet fanwriter just couldn't be arsed.

Ways to ask that don't make me want to throw something:

"I loved this story, I'm subscribing!"

"I can't wait to see what happens next, I really enjoyed XYZ thing that happened in this chapter."

"I'd love to see more in this 'verse, but I really enjoyed this."

"[if you're a writer, any kind of empathetic understanding that writer's block sucks]."

"[Almost any kind of real review] Looking forward to more/Can't wait for the next chapter!"

Basically, let your pet fanwriter know what you enjoyed, let them know that you're excited for more, but don't act like you paid them for a complete story and only got half. We write fanfic for free, for love of the show/book/media and for love of the fandom. We get paid in kudos and comments only. We have lives, some of them more conducive to turning out fic regularly than others. We too have been affected by the pandemic and other shit that's happening in the world.

And I cannot overstate this, so I'm saying it again: complaining, demanding, etc, do not get you the result you want. Well okay, there may be a few people out there for whom someone stomping into their inbox and going "WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER?" will work, but they're the exception, not the rule. I have talked with at the very least dozens and dozens, if not hundreds, of fanwriters over multiple fandoms, and I've yet to meet one who gets a comment like that and is inspired to go to their word processor. At best, it makes them go "ahhh shit I guess it's been a while since I updated that"; at worst (and in my experience most common), it puts them off writing that particular story or possibly anything, because the only feedback they're getting is "not good enough, not fast enough, you owe me more" and that sucks.

(If you know the person very, very well and know they will take it as a joke or that they are one of the few who gets inspired by this, that's the exception, but don't do it on stories written by people who are strangers to you.)

Frankly, you're much, much more likely to prod your pet fanwriter into creating more by typing "♥️" and hitting the kudos button than by trying to guilt them into it. Guilt doesn't work. Encouragement does. If your desired end result is "they finish the story" then "why haven't you finished the story/where is the next chapter/update soon" is absolutely not going to achieve that. It's helping absolutely no one.

Train yourself to leave a heart or a "loved this, can't wait for more" or even just a kudos instead of a demand, and you at the very least have not made your fanwriter feel useless that day, and might have inspired them go back to the coalface.

At the end of the day, it boils down to treating your pet fanwriter as a human whose life probably doesn't revolve solely around updating the one fic you're obsessed with. Have a heart, that's all 🙂

[archersgoon]

celie disillusionment arc real & true

The Celie disillusionment arc is my personal theory regarding Celie’s life over the next five-or-so years post-canon. It’s mainly the assumption that she’s going to have some sort of upheaval regarding the intersection of her sense of duty towards Lumatere (and Isaboe) and her own personal love for it (and Isaboe, and her family, and Froi in particular), and that this will lead to her souring somewhat on her role in Lumatere’s foreign intelligence and how it impacts her relationships with others. The key assumption I’m making here is that Celie isn’t aware of Froi’s previous role as an assassin, at least not during the events of the main series.

(putting the rest under the cut because it got away from me somewhat)

I argue this for several reasons. First, no one else in her family has been told explicitly. They suspect, Abian and August in particular, but to my memory it’s never explicitly confirmed for them. Regarding Celie herself, there’s this section in Ferragost:

This is pretty clearly not the statement of a woman who knows, first of all, that her brother is in Charyn in the first place, and second of all, that he nearly got killed as a result of this specific action. To be honest, given what she says after the highlighted section, it’s possible she’d think on it very similarly even if she was aware, although in that case I do think there would at least be an aside. Anyway, the implication here is that she is not aware of Froi’s recent actions, though I have no idea what she thinks he’s doing at this point in time.

From here, it’s reasonable to assume that she’s also unaware of his prior extracurricular activities with Perri and Trevanion. It’s difficult to extrapolate any particulars of her relationship with Froi, but she refers to him as a “brother of her heart” in Ferragost, and Abian refers to her feeling something like this towards him during a conversation with Isaboe in the main series, so I’m assuming that they love each other quite dearly, even if they’re not very up-to-date on each other’s lives.

The other relevant piece of information upon which the arc is based is this:

While Celie is careful not to include her own thoughts on the matter, she’s Isaboe’s man through and through, and as such does come off as backing her in this situation. The question I ask is this: what happens if the half-truth she gives Celie isn’t enough?

Isaboe is Celie’s closest friend. She gives her truths she gives no one else (except maybe Froi; see QoC chapter 10, although I am not getting into the implications of that right now, see this post). Their friendship is just different and more special than the rest of Isaboe’s friendships. It seems that if Isaboe was going to be completely honest with anyone, it’d be Celie. We know that’s not the case, but I don’t think Celie does. At least, she hasn’t really confronted what it means, that her best friend would (and does!) lie to her if she deems it necessary.

Anyway, with those establishing bits out of the way, let’s get on to the actual meat of the piece: post-canon Celie. From here on out I do a lot of speculation, you may very well disagree, it’s literally fine.

I mentioned it before (here) but what I basically think is going to happen is a gradual ramping up of Celie’s responsibilities as a spy in Belegonia. At the end of Ferragost she did technically come under suspicion, but given that they found nothing and people don’t really like Banyon all that much anyway, she can probably play it cool, albeit after a period of low activity to allay any suspicion. Once that happens, she’ll probably start passing information north on a very regular basis (maybe they’ll even give her someone else to work with). I mentioned it here, but post-canon Lumatere does gain something of an upper hand in their dealings with Belegonia, which could allow for more active moves on their (and Celie’s) part. I do think, at some point, she’ll be asked to kill someone. Probably not for a while, and it’ll be the result of very careful deliberation (well, as careful as they get – I’m not super convinced this is a strength of theirs), but it will happen.

While she works up to this though, there’s also the matter of Froi. Everyone knows about that scene at the creek. I don’t care; the Monts saw it, the Turlans saw it, the valley-dwellers saw it. Everyone’s going to hear about it. So, he was in Charyn, and Celie didn’t know. She’s quick on the uptake though, presumably she figures out he was sent to kill the king pretty quickly. Went off the rails, but I guess that’s just his loving nature! Not really the behaviour you’d expect from someone who’d been doing torture on the regular though, so at first I believe she doesn’t realise. She thinks the Charyn king was his first serious assignment, because he’s not really suited to that kind of lifestyle. There’s this line in Ferragost, which suggests she’s not familiar with the local extrajudicial program:

Obviously, you can make the argument that she’s just not counting these ones due to their actions, and I think she probably does know about them on some level; but the wording of this really makes it seem like she’s not consciously aware of these things happening.

Celie knows Froi was sent to kill the king, but that seems like it. Except, as time goes on, she finds herself experiencing all sorts of weird and unpleasant emotions that she can’t really name. Finds herself lashing out, or retreating into herself, all this nasty stuff that’s so familiar, yet she can’t figure out why, until… oh. That’s right. Froi used to get like this sometimes, when they were both still living at home. She’d just put it down to his former life back then, obviously he was having trouble adjusting to life with their family.

So, I think she starts putting pieces together. She could probably figure out the general shape of things in terms of how local assassinations work, given her newfound involvement (even though they’d obviously keep her out of the loop as much as possible), and from there it’s not a massive leap to figure out Froi’s involvement. Presumably she discovers the link between that seal she swiped and Froi’s life being threatened at some point. They wouldn’t even tell her that much.

This is the tricky part, because I’m not 100% on what her response to this would be, that is, I don’t think she’d be surprised, by either the fact that he was doing all that or the fact that she was lied to, because that’s how Isaboe rolls, she knows that. Even so, it would be reasonable to assume this is an upsetting realisation for her, because subconsciously she probably assumed that her relationship with Isaboe was exempt from this. It also contextualises her family’s increasing distance from the palace. I guess what it really comes down to, is that they could do this again, and she wouldn’t know. She has three other brothers, Talon’s described as shrewd. Will he be used by the palace for the good of the kingdom? Will he have a choice? Should he have a choice? And there it is. Celie does her duty, always. But she doesn’t see it the same way for everyone. When Banyon has her rooms searched, she has this to say:

It pretty heavily implies that love, or even simply good feeling, should come before duty. At least for Banyon, since his duty is to the Belegonian crown, which to Celie should obviously come second to her duty (sidenote: genuinely, I don’t know what she was expecting him to do here). So, if she wavers in her sense of duty at all, it’s pretty quickly going to conflict irreparably with love for those she cares about (including Isaboe I think). First, her brother runs himself ragged in the name of penance for his past sins. Next, she sacrifices herself on the altar of duty. She says she wants a love like her parents’, at least once, and she’s decided she wants it with Banyon. That is very much not achievable given her current responsibilities, and is going to be entirely impossible once those responsibilities become both larger and stricter. What she wants is locked off from her entirely, and the only way her brother managed to be really, truly happy was to remove himself from the system entirely. There’s that barrier between them. It’s always been there, but it’s truly impassable now, like with Banyon. He cannot compromise his and his family’s interests in the name of Lumatere. I figure she probably resents him for this for a good long while.

So: Celie lost her chance at love (the only thing she says she really wants), and her brother is entirely separate from her and the rest of their family now. Harm came to him as a result of her actions, and she wasn’t told. It seems very likely that the same thing could happen again, and she’d have no idea. What if this time, someone is hurt permanently? Or dies? Any of her other brothers could be recruited at any point, with no hope of reprieve, and there’s nothing she can do about it. She has to kill people without any information on why (that she hasn’t gathered herself). The shine of spying has well and truly worn off. What happens now?

There are a few possibilities here. What I do think is inevitable is a permanent rift between Sayles and the palace. Whether Celie is a part of this is less clearcut, as is the extent of its impact in both personal and political aspects. It’s possible she could just put her head down, be a miserable, disillusioned (ha!) tool of the state, and get on with her job, maybe get married off to some foreign lordling in the future. Or, she could focus on her job, get into it, even the unsavoury bits (this is Celie’s villain arc, for the record). Maybe she starts questioning the entire system. One person with all the decision-making ability and all the information isn’t sustainable and isn’t fair (“No gods, no masters,” – Celina-May of the Lumateran Flatlands). But what I think (well, hope) is going to happen is some variation on this: in the long run, Celie is a lot less replaceable than Froi. Her in with the Belegonian royal family is going to be very difficult to replicate. Therefore, she has some bargaining power. With this, in addition to her deep friendship with Isaboe, I think she can set some boundaries. It’ll probably cost her the depth of that friendship, they’ll never be that close again, but she’ll be able to live. She’ll definitely still be doing the occasional assassination, but the reasoning won’t be as opaque. She could have long-term goals (it would certainly be nice if we could legitimise our own succession laws, and wouldn’t the princess-turned-queen be sooo grateful if we could help her?). Maybe she gets a heads-up if anyone else important gets involved in her line of work. Any risks to the people she cares about? She knows about them. Probably the relevant individuals don’t, but that’s alright. I don’t think Celie’s really happy unless she’s doing something at least a little morally dubious.

[trashbin-nie]

Why I Dislike Rei Todoroki.

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Ever since my last post I've been debating on whether or not to give my in depth opinion on Rei Todoroki and why I don't particularly like her, and I decided that I wanted to get it out there and hear others opinions!

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Alrighty! Anime Hot Takes. Though some of them may not be "hot," this one is. Many people have hard opinions on this, and I'm going to preface this one with this: 

This is NOT saying that any parent is perfect. This is NOT saying that other MHA parents are without flaw! I have bones to pick with all of them (except Inko, she's a goddess), but the ones I have the most negative views on are, of course, Rei and Enji Todoroki. Agree or disagree with me. This is just my opinion, and in my opinion, Rei Todoroki is not a good mother, and Shoto should not have forgiven her.

I understand that what preceded the actual event of Shoto being burned led to the over bubbling of emotions, and as a result, Shoto was the unfortunate, undeserving victim in the Todoroki household in its entirety.  That's not to say the others aren't victims and that Touya's demise is anything less than horrible, but Shoto ended up taking the brunt of the damage.

I understand that what happened was influenced directly by Enji's actions, and his misguided horrible handling of his adult life, and his inability to process his own emotions without anger and violence.

However, regardless of how horrible her husband is/was to her, it does not justify causing irreversible damage both mentally and physically to a child. Especially not the one that is already being abused by the other parent. I know it is her own experience with abuse that led to this moment of her mental break, or her slight mental break rather, but Shoto was a five/six year old boy being forced into intensive and abusive quirk training. 

I know she couldn't handle facing her abuser, which I understand to an extent because her husband (abuser) was the number 2 hero at the time, and I probably wouldn't go up and throw burning water at him either, but putting that blame on a child is cruel. I don't care how much of Enji she saw in him. He was an innocent child, he did nothing and she threw scalding hot water on his face because she was having a hard time, and as a mother of four children she should have been capable enough to know when she needed help and to step away.

I know how hard that is to do when you're alone and have no adults to turn to. I know the feeling of hopelessness that you feel when you have no family or friends to call when you need help, but I still was able to get myself help, and she, at the time, was older than I am not by much, but enough to where I know that she knew she needed help, professional or otherwise.

Do I agree with Enji sending her away? No, not particularly. Would I have done the same? I can't really say. I definitely would've gotten her help, and I know she needed away from that house, maybe not her children, necessarily, but she needed away from Enji, and honestly it might've been for the best. Don't get me wrong, Enji is a massive POS for EVERYTHING he did. He gets zero passes here. I hate him for a multitude of reasons, but that is not what we are here discussing.

Even if I don't focus on the 'incident' with Shoto, she still ended up neglecting her other children. Touya just needed someone to stop and get him help to just look at him and show him love, and she stood by, afraid of her own son refusing to help him. Natsuo, basically the forgotten middle child who hates his father, yet fears for his safety, and he needed his mom when his older brother 'died'. Fuyumi has a very askew view on what a family is and just wants everyone to be happy even at the expense of herself. She worries all the time even as a child she had to grow up so fast because Rei was so busy with Shoto. Which was Enji's fault 100% for keeping him separated from the others because of the mistakes he made with Touya, but still while Shoto was in 'training' she could've done more with the others, but she was shutting down ever since Shoto was born, and again not entirely her fault, but that does NOT mean she gets a pass.

Rei admitted that Shoto had every right to hate her for what she did because she knew it was her fault and that what she did to him was 100% wrong. She partially blames herself for Touya becoming 'Dabi' because she knew she could've done more if she only stood her ground more firmly and forced Enji to be a 'real' father, snd face his children.

She's doing all she can to make up for her wrongs because she knows she didn't do right by any one of her children. She didn't protect them. She didn't raise them. She didn't teach them that she'll always be there whenever they're having a hard time. 

She is no angel.

She and Enji are NOT good parents. They are BOTH atoning for their sins, and while Rei is doing a, seemingly, better job than Enji, they are both trying to make up for how they wronged their children.

Again, this is not to say all MHA parents are amazing and perfect. They aren't.

Except Inko Midoriya. She is perfect in every way. If you disagree, I'll see you in the parking lot because your opinion is wrong and you aren't welcome here, and neither is Inko slander.

I can't stand Enji or Rei Todoroki. They're both terrible parents, and the shit they put their children through, in my eyes, is unforgivable. However, I'm glad they are putting in the effort and if Natsu, Fuyumi, and Shoto all end up happy and okay, I think I'll be able to look past Rei's faults a bit more, but still abuse is abuse no matter how you look at it. For whatever reason.

And yes I do blame Enji's behavior/actions for all of Rei's actions, but I'm also mature enough to understand that her actions, regardless of cause, were her own decisions in the end, and they are choices she has to live with and I'm allowed to not like her for those reasons.

Please sound off in the comments! I love hearing other people's opinions on characters! Even if it's just "you're wrong," but if you love Rei, please, please, please tell me why you do. Maybe it'll give me and others another perspective on her character as a whole, and please be respectful of others' opinions.